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lunetoone · 7 months

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touch only where supposed to

summary , a movie night turns upside down when you get curious and touch xiao's horns. obviously, you were only massaging him. to him however....

⊰: incubus!sub!xiao x naive! neutral!reader

minors dni

xiao seems to be uncomfortable from sitting on the same spot and the same seat for 2 hours now.., really did you have to pick a 3 hour movie? was an hour not enough for you?

he really regrets making the one year one day deal where he has to listen to whatever you say. he sighs to himself.

"xiao ? are you okay? you seem uncomfortable" you glance over at the yaksha, squirming in his seat and sighing occasionally. "you think? ive been seating here for 2 hours when is this movie ending??" he crosses his arms pouting and scoffing like a brat. "xiao you should've said something, here come lay on my lap" you pat your lap inviting him and smiling.

he hesitates but cave in after being uncomfortable for the hundredth time. the position is rather comforting to him and he can finally stretch his legs, thank archons you're rich and have a huge ass couch.

you seemed to be focusing alot on the movie. before xiao layed on your lap you played around with the spare remote that has the batteries removed. twirling it, pushing the buttons and dragging your fingers along it. now with xiao on your lap how can you distract yourself, you want to play with something in your hands and surprise surprise your little incubus boyfriend has sharp horns.

you've always been curious about a demons horns, you've read it was highly sensitive but you dont think so i mean its just horns right ? whats the big deal.

so without warning you land your hands on his horns, his eyes only widens but he leaves it be knowing you probably just needed to lay your hands on something.

but to his surprise you continue touching it more, especially the pointy part. you press your thumb on it not realising how sensitive that part is, honestly you just want to see how sharp it is. you drag and stroke your finger on the poor demons horns , but he seems quiet so your theory was correct a demons horn are not that sensitive after all!

but to xiao this was torture. if you could see his face right now you'd stop what youre doing. his hands are on his mouth muffling the moans he tried oh so hard to keep earlier but you keep touching them. his body is trembling and his free hand gripping the couch, a very visible hard on.

"ah.. ahn.. love c-can you stop that?" his voice comes out more whiny then expected of his usual cold stern voice. "stop what? oh this? sorry but you seem fine dont worry. imagine this like a... oh! a spa, you've never been to one right? yeah imagine this is a massage at the spa" your reply of innocence shines and so does the smile you give to the demon.

"mmh.. what youre doing i-isnt a massage.. ah-" despite his moans and whines you still insist on saying this is a spa, your naive brain is not processing just how dangerous this is. "relax xiao, now shut up its a good part"

but how can he shut up if you just wont stop touching him! this poor boy. again, you keep touching it. you use it as a indicator on your feelings towards to movie, some sad scenes you gripped onto his horns and oh boy was he loud.

"ah! a-...p-please love, ha.. st-stop" obviously you didnt hear him. even if a burglar came into your house you wouldn't hear them. at happy scenes you slow down, his moans and pants were of a relieved one only for you to continue abusing his poor horns because the soon happy scene turned to a murder one.

the end of the movie is nearing and so is xiao, the couple of the movie seems to finally make the next step and get married. you cry tears of happiness after the buildup of the couple, but xiao's tears was of overstimulation. youre stroking and gripping is only faster now and his voice and moans are way louder, he gives no fucks, he'll even let the neighbors hear.

"ah! pl,-please dont stop haa... hnnh love f-aster!" he whines, incoherent words and mumbles come out with slurry tones. his before muffled mouth from his hand are of a crosseyed lip biting xiao, his free hand if you can even see them from the dim lighting is palming his bulge that was leaking of precum moments ago.

finally the couple of the movie kiss and you grip so hard out of happiness with tears rolling down your eyes, and so does xiao.

"ah!! s-shit" his body jolts and his pants are faster and then slower to now heavy breaths.

the movie plays the end credits and you turn on the lights, stretching. "wow that was an amazing movie! i loved the part where they confessed on the beach, what was your favourite part?"

xiao who was now sitting up, body twitching while slouching, eyes closed and occasionally moaning softly from the aftermath, only nods. and finally everything click, the sweat beads and wet spot of his pants.... that wasnt just a massage it was a special massage.

that night you were apologising to a sulking xiao, next time he'll remember to get back at you and your pervy ways.

#xiao #xiao smut #genshin impact #xiao genshin impact #xiao genshin x reader #xiao genshin smut #vigilant yaksha

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garyroachsanderson · 1 year

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i love your hcs sm!! do you think you could write 141 best friends hcs with reader getting hurt?

HI YES SORRY IVE BEEN ILL

141 best friend hcs— reader is injured

(requested) cw for blood, injury, near death, stuff like that

GAZ

when i tell you this man would scream at the top of his fucking lungs

he would do his best to stop the bleeding, but would also make fun of you as your face paled

“big strong y/n couldn’t handle a bullet, huh?” (this is the man who sat down and buried his head in his hands and hyperventilated after scraping his knee during a night out drinking)

he’d be there the entire time, but wouldn’t try to fight medical professionals from taking you off

“bitch, wake up”

he wouldn’t be allowed in the hospital room, and get pissed off, and proceed to tweet angrily outside. he knew you wouldn’t die, but he was scared you would, and it would be without him there to help you.

once you were awake, you’d probably send him some shit like this ^

he would then proceed to immediately run to your room and violently noogie you before hugging you

GHOST

now.. something is wrong with this man. he wouldn’t scream, he wouldn’t start crying out of anger or anything healthy. he lets out a guttural wail inside of his head as soon as he sees you’ve been downed.

if you’re near him, he’d drag you to a closed part of a building and desperately but calmly try stopping the blood. he’s learned a lot of tactics, and making himself appear like he’s staying calm is one of them.

his heartbeat is about 500 beats per minute rn. your flesh is now pale, which is unnerving considering your usual skin tone. he’s not trained in patching others up, and he doesn’t know how to fix that. he says something and you don’t respond so he raises his voice and goes “Stay with me, kid.”

incoherently mutters into comms, just completely trailing off

just cradling you the entire time until evac arrived, which he tried to follow but went with price and soap

if he was not by you, he’d keep asking questions until he got answers or he didn’t

“ C/N, come in. Do you copy?”

(radio silence)

“C/N, do you copy?”

“ . . . “

“..Fuck.”

moves through rooftops to find you, scouring the city like some kind of demented superhero.

would use his scope to try and spot you through any of the windows

he’d send out like 5 calls for an evac when you didn’t respond, but he’s searching in his spare time

NEARLY broke down crying when he found you slumped in a tiny apartment

he definitely thought you were dead and the anxiety in his voice was real. a tear and a sniffle or two might have been shed before he found the weak pulse in your neck

doesn’t move from your side ONCE, he stays up for days straight until you wake up or is slumped in a barstool

SOAP

thinks you’re joking for the first 2 minutes after you say you’ve been hit

SPRINTS to your location

you’re always together so of course he blames himself that in the 5 minutes you were apart a bullet tears through your chest

when panicked he just starts speaking heavily accented english or full out scots gaelic (he learned it from an old teammate), not out of choice but he noticed it keeps your mind moving when he does so he keeps doing it

one time while injured you went “gaelic more like GAY LICK” and then passed out and he laughed then cried

always thinks he’s going to end up in a vietnam war veteran position holding you

while carrying you to evac you repeated one of ghosts shitty jokes and he nearly dropped you out of fear/temporary resentment

the last words you hear before you die are going to be a mix of “hells fuckin bells” or “sweet baby jesus”

PRICE

this man’s friends are all dead. he’s had men die in his arms before and he’s scared every time that it’s going to be you

NO NO NO NO SOAP SOAAAPPP

absolutely silent, just trying to keep you awake and alive

this man will never leave you alone, you are ALWAYS with him and if you’re not you’re to be looked over by gaz. and if you get injured on gaz’ watch he’ll never hear the end of it

has definitely thought “if y/n dies im killing everyone in this room and then myself” but wouldn’t dare say it out loud

he’d drop everything he was doing, doesn’t matter if it was in the middle of a mission

STAY WITH ME SOLDIER

he puts his hat on you just to shield your eyes from the absolute liveleak that is your abdomen (or the sun, depending on the weather)

you wear his hat until you wake up. if you don’t, you’re being buried with the hat on your chest. that’s your god damn hat now

doesn’t understand what you’re saying but will pretend to laugh if you make a joke

ROACH

would kill everything in his path until he found the one who hurt you

you like to shout “GOOOOOOOD MORNING VIETNAM” just to scare the living shit out of him

141: “i fear no man, but that thing..”

(bloodthirsty roach)

“it scares me.”

he’s nervous and it shows. he’ll cry

he’ll stand outside the door until the doctor lets him know you’re stable (he wants to give you privacy of course)

if you’re afab then he’ll literally pause before taking the gear off your chest because he doesn’t want to invade your privacy. he just shuts his eyes and hopes for the best

he will carry you through hell in order to get you to evac

lays his head on his arms on your legs when you’re in a hospital bed

“i didn’t sign up for this”

that one audio that’s like “oh my gosh.. what do i do?? euuGGGHHHH”

#call of duty modern warfare #john price #kyle gaz garrick #gary roach sanderson #modern warfare #cod #simon ghost riley #simon riley #soap mactavish #call of duty

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tartagilasgf · 1 year

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Rejecting their kisses prank

characters included- katsuki bakugo and izuku midoriya

My hero academia.

warnings: none but slight angst to comfort in midoriyas if you squint a lil. (If you feel there needs to be a warning i should share with everyone reading this, please do tell me. Id really appreciate it, thank you !) <33

katsuki bakugo: it was a long, tough day for katsuki, and all he wanted to do was freshen up and steal a kiss from you to lighten up his day. Which always does, however…. you had different, and well — the literal opposite objective in mind.

-katsuki unlocks the door, slipping off his shoes with a tired but now relaxed face at the sight of you. He drags his exhausted body to the back of you. “Kats?” You assume by the large hands resting on your waist. he gives a soft grunt in response. “m’ been missin you. All day sweetheart.” he whispers into your ear once lowering his head onto your shoulder, the not often lit used pet name making you so clearly flustered .“that’s awfully… sweet of you, are u sure you’re bakugo?” You giggle. he, (not that you can see) rolls his eyes and gives a huff that’s supposed to signify his annoyance at your little comment towards him. but nonetheless, he still spun you around to face him directly and reached in for a meant to be soft kiss, but his expression quickly changed to a confused, annoyed one when you quickly backed away from him. “maybe later?” you suggested, with a slight smile to make him think it’s genuine. And also to reflect back on his hilarious reaction. (Or at least what you want his reaction to be like). he, instead furrows his brows together in thought for a moment, still shocked by your act that shouldn’t hurt him that badly…. but it did. not only that, it pissed him off. “what the fuck is up with you? did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you?” He badgered you with his painful to hear questions. Despite his reaction, you decided to keep on with your non-funny act and looked away from him slowly. “im just.. um.. tired. you know?” you answer quietly, purposefully fidgeting with your hands. he stands still before gripping onto your right hand, both of his big, scarred hands clearly shaking in your hold. “im.. fuck- sorry if i did something wrong… please ill fix it..” he swears, almost… promising with a obviously worried tone. His reaction was enough, and seeing him so clearly anxious, you reluctantly ended the harsh prank. “im just kidding Kats! You didn’t do anything wrong, promise.” you reach in for a kiss but instead of him just giving in, he backs away from you. “Maybe later?” He suggests. ….(Needless to say, it took a whole lot of sorrowful apologies and begging to make him finally forgive you).

Izuku midoriya: recently he has been having painful nightmares and thoughts about how he was treated back then when he was quirkless. Memories flashed through his head as tears started to flow in his pretty eyes. so he came back home, hoping you can make his day better like you always have. However, you couldn’t have chosen a worse day to prank him.

he shuffled around his pocket, looking for his keys with reddish-pink blotches on his face from crying not so long ago. shivering from the cold, he finally found his keys and opened the door to your lovely, shared home. he (unusually) walked past you and went straight to the bathroom to clear his thoughts. After some time, he came out unsuccessful and mumbling his incoherent thoughts. he took a seat next to you by the fireplace and leaned his head on your forearm, pressing his body weight against your figure. “hi izu.” you said after a short moment of complete silence, “mm… ive been having the worst day babes.” izuku replies with a slight frown plastered on his once happy face. you sigh, debating whether or not you should continue with the prank, considering he’s already had a rough day, but you decided to continue it, plus it’s been a while since you pranked him. “is there anything i can do to make your day better?” you question aloud. izuku nods his head subtly and raises his head to yours, cupping your cheek and turning his head to the side ever so slightly. “yeah.. yeah there is.” he reacts, drawing his soft lips to connect with yours. you jump a little and widen your eyes, “wait I hear my phone going off! hold on!” you say with panic in your voice. his expression saddens more “i don’t hear anything?” He states. “well i do so wait” you counter, a little harsher than intended. you get up and run to the other room, not aware of the fact you left your phone right where you were sitting. No call, izuku noted instantly. his mind floods with negative thoughts, is there something wrong with him? Are you scared of kissing him? are you perhaps falling out of love with him? he abruptly gets up and treads to the bathroom, locking the door behind him he sits on the bathroom floor, clutching his head, pulling his knees up to his now sweating, muscular chest. sobs fall out of his mouth, the exact mouth he now thinks there’s something wrong with. When you finally returned to the fireplace, trying to make a excuse you noticed the spot izuku was in was empty and your phone on the spot you were once sitting in, that you ran out of after izuku initiated his supposed to be kiss with you. your heart drops and you walk around the house calling his name. “Izu? Izuuuu! Babes, where the hell are you??” You yell out multiple times until you hear a click and a screech from a door opening. you see izuku, your now upset boyfriend with a red wet face, puffy eyes, and tear stains on his shirt, this happened because of you. You’re the main reason he’s so — conflicted. “why did you back away? Am i really that.. inferior and not good enough - for you?” He asks, looking directly at you. You take a few steps towards his body, “I’m sorry izuku. It was a extremely stupid prank, a really dumb one. Seriously. I should’ve known not to play this kind of prank on you, especially when you were already sad.” you finally answer to his concerned and far from true thoughts. you look up at him, holding your arms out, not expecting him to hug you back but still trying regardless. he hesitated before returning the hug, tightly squeezing onto you — as if he was afraid of loosing you. “..don’t think I’m forgiving you this easily, just so you know you’re really gonna have to beg for my forgiveness.” He says in a bitter tone, before adding on -“and mercy.”

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chihirolovebot · 2 months

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post pillbug creation in my head,,, perhaps,,,, (btw i loved the new interlude 12/10 :3c)

AHGHHGHGHHHHH !!!!!! THIS IS SO LOVELY IM STARIGN FOR SO LONG THAT MY EYES GO DRY . RETURN OF THIS PHYS IM SHAKIGN AND CRYING theyre so lovely to me ohghghg my god this design makes me shake like a dog on november 5th + in colour too this time … their colour pallet is so lovely i adore the brown skin and navy hair combo AND THE BRIGHT PINK GLASSES HIIIIII . it’s just so cute and pleasing to the eye im going berserk .

the sleeping positions im gnawing at the skin of my knuckles. phys all sprawed out carelessy , one sock off .,, laying themselves open ( especially bc phys has been shown to be ‘vunerable’ in their sleep a few times in the fic .. ) versus ouma curled up into himself BUT STILL FACING PHYS like ahghgghhh symbolism go brrr . sidenote i also just think he Would fucking sleep like that . he’s one of those guys that can percievably fall asleep anywhere ( he doesnt for paranoia reasons but He Could. ) hmmm hmmmm the light on phys but not on ouma … considering … thinking thoughts

thakn u again for the return of ur interpretation of these two sorry this is slightly incoherent im quite tired and ur art makes me see shrimp colours /pos and sorry it took me a minute to answer this, submissions dont show up in my notifs and ive been taking a couple days off tumblr at the moment so ^.^ but yeah . thank u my lovely again and i rly hope ur having a wonderful week <3

#submission #🏚.sleep awake

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philza-updates · 2 years

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i was just wondering if there was a reason none of the mods updated on phil or kristin’s tweet about the passing of techno? /gen If it’s a reason of taking a break i completely understand, i was just wondering considering the polls from phil’s stream were updated on. Take care of yourself mods <3

I cant speak for Luna, but its at least partially for me due to length and my own grieving and energy. yeah ive already been touch and go with updates (sorry yall) due to a variety of persoonal reasons. longer posts are harder to ID and thats not even counting the mental energy for somee specficic subjects. Its the blur between personal and professional and all the spoons it takes. like, its been a lot of tears for the both of us and polls are easier than yeah. sorry if this is incoherant its fuck o clock at night and chronic painis giving a flare from hell.

- mod wren

Yeah, I’ve been, um, dealing with the remains of technoblade-updates and crying for a day over Techno. I hadn’t really updated on anything except Techno all day but I was feeling better around when Phil was streaming. So, yeah

Most of my energy has gone into a memorial thing for Techno to put up on the update account, so I’ve had the Phil thing there but I dunno, I didn’t want to go all chipper and update mode while making just another update out of a man grieving his lost friend. It’s been a lot.

- Mod Luna

#not an update #caws from the crows #mod wren #if Luna wakes up and wants to add to this ask or take it down it’s fine and chill I can only speak on my part #mod luna

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cheolhub · 1 year

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NO CAUSE IM SUCH A SUCKER FOR WHEN THEY'RE MEAN

but imagine the aftermath, like you would not know how to fucking act after that and it throws you off your game and he wins the next race and !!!

you're so mad. you're so angry he got to your head that much. and he's so fucking smug about it. but of course, it can only go one way at this point, and at the end of the day you end up in his bed again bc what else are you even supposed to do?

AND HE'D BE SO MEAN ABT IT, all "can't believe you're here begging for my cock again. shouldn't you be out training? or are you just that much of a cockhungry slut?"

and it continues like that. it doesn't even matter who wins or who loses anymore, bc the outcome is the same anyways - you crying on his cock, you on your knees for him, you taking whatever he wants to give you. and you know that if this came out it could ruin your career, but you just can't stop.

(okay but spinning off of that earlier ask. what if you're in a crash, maybe it's one if the last races of the season, and he's THE FIRST ONE THERE bc holy shit he got so worried. like he always worries when someone crashes bc this shit is dangerous, but it's different now, and he doesn't quite want to think about what it means yet. (he's a little less mean the next time, not bc he's gotten soft or anything, he swears)) - ☁️

UR SUCH A FUCKING MENACE LIKE IM GONNA RIP MY HAIR OUT. it’s 1 am so that means this is going to be hot shit (the bad kind 😹) ok but seriously if i dont make sense or it reads bad, im so sorry, ive written like 4k words today and my brains fuzzy

wonwoo is so cruel. he’s so fucking cruel. he’s insulting you while fucking you stupid, rambling on and on about how you’re always crawling back into his bed like a shameless loser. about how you have no self-respect whatsoever. about how you should be out training even though you’re going to lose again. and again. and again.

and you’re just taking it because, fuck him, but he makes you feel so good. he bullies his cock into you and makes you cum countless times and it’s just too fucking good. you’re in this toxic… relationship? would you even call it that? you’re in this toxic situationship and you have no idea how to get out of it… or if you even want out of it.

and, cloudnon, you’re 100% right. it doesn’t matter who wins or loses.

if he wins, he’s fucking you as if he were some type of god with the cockiest smirk on his face. if you wanna cum, you have to beg and tell him how much of a loser you are. (woah humiliation kink popped out again my bad)

if you win, he’d be so fucking pissed. so so angry and he’s taking it out on you, immediately adjusting that cocky attitude of yours. makes you cum over and over till your just in tears babbling his name and incoherent pleas.

no matter what, he’s always going to have you begging for more bc you’re just his a pretty, cockhungry slut.

[oh my god i alrdy know that didnt make any fucking sense, BUT WAIT BC UR LIL SPIN OFF THING IS KINDA CUTE ☺️ ill start with a poorly written post-crash bed scene]

you’re fine. you’ve told him several times, but he keeps asking and it’s starting to get on your nerves. but, like, it’s also starting to freak you out a bit. he hasn’t said anything mean to you and the way he handles you is kind of… soft? something you’re not used to at all when you’re under him like this

he’s still a bit freaked out if he’s being honest. you could’ve been really hurt… and it’s morbid… but you could’ve fucking died and he doesnt think he’d be able to stand it if anything really bad happened to you.

he has no idea what he’s feeling right now. he doesn’t want to know. god forbid he have a crush on the his top competitor and god forbid you don’t feel the same way.

you grow impatient with his gentle touches bc you’re dying to have him manhandle you like he usually does, so you sigh out. “wonwoo, told you i’m fine. just a few cuts and bruises. stop worrying so much. you won’t break me.”

he looks at you nervously and your heart squeezes a bit… he’s kinda cute when he’s not being a complete dick. “you sure?”

“i’m sure.”

“i’ll be nicer today,” he mutters, “y’know, since you obviously don’t know how to ride.”

there he is.

you smirk, “oh? why don’t you show me how then?”

he smirks, voice low when he says, “it’d be my pleasure.”

#[💌: ☁️]#aPLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR THIS #BUT I NEEDED TO REPLY #SERIOUSLY THO IM IN LOVE WITH UR BRAIN

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quodekash · 1 year

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HELLO I FINALLY HAVE TIME TO WATCH THE FIRST OS2 SIMM EPISODE

im really hoping they do seanmaitee and not naysean for this, bc otherwise ill probably scream and riot. i love winnysatang with all my being, but their characters in this show shouldn’t be a couple in my opinion (if you ship them i have absolutely no problem with that). from memory (and i binged simm not too long ago so i think my memory is reliable), they’re literally only in the same room together once, and they dont even interact at all. SEANMAITEE, ON THE OTHER HAND, were SO CLEARLY being built towards in the show (the way maithee would hit on so many people, and sean would constantly stop him, but then when sean watched someone else hit on daonuea but didnt stop him, and the way sean always has a protective arm around maithee, and gejrdhfbghr i could talk about them forever honestly), and then the COWARDS freaking DIDNT MAKE THEM OFFICIALLY CANON???? im so salty about this and need confirmation and i will be Angry™️ if they do naysean instead of seanmaitee

anyway, time for the actual commentary to begin (that was a really long introduction, damn) (future egg here to tell you: it gets worse. the commentary is really long on this one. it’s mostly keysmashes about seanmaithee. good luck.)

THIS IS PROMISING, VERY VERY PROMISING, PLS P’NEW AND SCREENWRITERS AND GMMTV AND STUFF, DON’T CHICKEN OUT LIKE YOU DID LAST TIME

im actually stressed out why am i stressed out

im genuinely scared for what’s gonna happen

what if they do naysean

theyd better not do naysean, PLEASE

grebghreb

(im literally 20 seconds in, why cant i just watch stuff without needing to spam my thoughts)

THESE FLASHBACKS ARE SO SWEET

SIMM HAS BEEN SITTING IN THE BACK OF MY MIND BC EVERY OTHER SERIES IVE WATCHED SINCE THEN HAS BEEN SO MUCH MORE BRAINROTTY THAN THIS ONE BUT I STILL LOVE THEM

“i still love daonuea, i love daonuea, and i love daonuea” ITS SO FREAKING SWEET WHAT THE HELL

this has definitely been said before by like everyone, but something i love about this series in particular is how kluen was terrible at showing his emotions and feelings and inner thoughts, he was this blank slate going around and showing nothing. but then, as the series progresses, he tries harder to show nuea that he likes him. but my boy doesnt have it figured out yet, and there’s communication errors and it seems like he’s pushing himself on nuea and it seems like an unhealthy/toxic relationship, but it’s not, he’s just autistic and doesnt know how to communicate his emotions and he’s trying for the first time and doing it wrong but he’s trying. and then it gets to the last episode (or two? i cant remember) and theyre so happy and fluffy and good vibes and its because he’s finally figured it out, he just has to say ‘i love you i love you i love you’ and even pronounce it to the world ‘I LOVE DAONUEA’ so that everyone knows and so that nuea knows and so that they can both finally understand and be happy and ghrbghrb they make me happy

that was so incoherent but you probably get the gist of what i mean

okay im gonna stop ranting now, im still only a minute into the episode lmao

HELL YES THIS FREAKING INTRO

MY FREAKING BOYS

THEYRE COMING BACK NEXT WEEK

ANJGHBERJDHGBERHJBGEHRAAAAAA

sorry this post is supposed to be about simm, ill try to keep the eclipse keysmashes to a minimum

AND PUENTALAY ARE COMING BACKKKK

im much more excited about puentalay than i was last week since i rewatched vvs a few days ago

NOOO THE LITTLE HAND KISS- IM GONNA CRY

TINNGUNNNNN

sorry i should stop freaking out about the shows that are coming and start freaking out about NUEAKLUEN THEYRE BACK HELLO MY BOYS

GUY4ERGHKBER SATANG

HELLO SATANG

ILY

ILY A LOT

AND MAITHEE STANDING NEXT TO SEAN AND STARING DIRECTLY AT HIM LIKE THERES NOTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD HE SHOULD BE STARING AT?? THIS IS PROMISING

kluen why are you slightly late

he’s gonna profess his love for nuea in front of all the freshmen isnt he

i know he’s gonna do it

“that’s the hottest senior from the faculty of dentistry” yup. absolutely. he’s gonna profess his love in front of all the freshmen

if he doesnt profess his love in front of all the freshmen, then im a bar-ba-loot from the lorax

yUP

im shaking my head in a supposedly disappointed way rn but im actually smiling bc i love him

he’s so pretty and in love with his pretty boyfriend and their love is pretty

HIS FREAKING SHIPPER FACE

SEAN’S KNOWN FOR LONGER THAN ANY OF THEM AND I FREAKING LOVE HIM

omg he did like a little sway and nudged maithee a little bit with his shoulder ghjerbgdh

by the way im gonna switch between spelling it maitee and maithee cos idk which one is right so im playing both sides, so you’re just gonna have to deal with that

(there’s a high likelihood that no one’s noticed the spelling alternations and now that ive pointed it out everyone’s gonna be hyperaware of it, but its fine)

he knows what he just did

“i just wanted to make it clear from the start in case some freshmen hit on you” i love him

also i was about to say that kluen is supposedly the hottest senior, so shouldnt he be more worried about himself getting hit on, but then i remembered that in this universe dao is the sun and everyone else is the solar system revolving around him, so of course the freshmen would try to hit on him lmao

except for sean.

sean’s a moon revolving around maitee

THE HANDS THE FREAKING HANDS LOOK AT THEM HOLDING HANDS

I KNOW THEYRE DATING AND THEY HAVE BEEN FOR LIKE A YEAR

BUT I JUST LOVE HOW THEYRE SO OPEN AND FREE AND HAPPY AND IN LOVE AND I LOVE THEM AND THEY LOVE EACH OTHER AND I SWEAR IM OKAY (im not okay)

“but after meeting you again, i knew i must start loving you. there’s no way i will let go of you again” THIS MAN IS GONNA MAKE ME FREAKING CRY WHAT THE HELL THAT’S SO FREAKING SWEET

THEY LOVE EACH OTHER

AND IT’S SO RAW AND PURE AND GHJRBDGHRB

HIS FREAKING SMILE, HE LOVES HIM SO MUCH

“you’re shy, so you’re walking away, darling” dARLING-- IM DYING

fun fact, i was watching vice versa with italian subtitles and at one point one of them called the other ‘darling’, which is ‘tesorino’ in italian, and i knew that the suffix -ino means ‘little’, so i looked up what ‘tesoro’ means and it’s ‘treasure’, whcih means if you’re calling someone darling in italian youre calling them ‘little treasure’ and i just think that’s so sweet 🥺😭

I LITERALLY JUST GASPED

THEYRE STANDING NEXT TO EACH OTHER

AND IT’S MAITHEE’S ARM AROUND SEAN INSTEAD OF THE OTHER WAY AROUND???? PLEASE TELL ME THAT MEANS WHAT I HOPE IT MEANS

HE’S SO FREAKING HAPPY, IT MAKES ME HAPPY

CONTAGIOUS HAPPINESS

GRJKGB

ARE WE ABOUT TO GET A FULL FREAKING SCENE WITH THEM???

or am i clowning

i was expecting just crumbs but pLEASE TELL ME THEYRE GIVING US A FULL SCENE

PERHAPS EVEN TWO SCENES

honestly just let pawin’s characters be happy and gay

also i find it funny that the order theyre going in is the first three are all of pawin’s in a row

(and in all of them he’s gonna get a happy and gay side character plot line??? please????????)

gosh darnnit nuea is in the scene now

perhaps there will be something later in the episode? maybe in tonight’s episode??

THE SHOULDERS THE ARM AROUND THE SHOULDERS IS PAWIN FINALLY BECOMING MORE PROTECTIVE OF SEAN IS HE FINALLY REALISING HIS FEELINGS FOR SEAN AND/OR FINALLY BECOMING OPEN ABOUT HIS FEELINGS FOR SEAN PLEASE TELL ME THAT’S WHAT THAT IS

THE ARM AROUND THE SHOULDERS IS A METAPHOR

OR SOMETHING

MAYBE

let me dream, okay

ya know who else ignores everyone and focuses only on the person he loves intently? sean

maithee why is your voice so croaky

is that just pawin putting on a particular voice for the character

or was pawin sick

or is maithee sick

if its one of the last two, i hope he’s okay (be it the character or the actor)

so... the croaky voice was intentional?

THE L O O K

sidenote, satang is so freaking pretty. why. who decided that.

MAITEE ARE YOU COPYING THEM??? PLEASE TELL ME YOU’RE COPYING THEM

SEAN WHY DID YOU LEAN AWAY YOUVE BEEN IN LOVE WITH HIM FOR YEARS

it’s the fate of The Captain

just ask tiw, he knows how it feels

or wat, also ask wat

or aoi and jack

or- sorry ill stop lmao

kluen arent you a dentist. why are you sitting at nursing.

idk how dentist school works

did he have to go through nursing stuff to get to dentisting?

im an arts and literature kid, idk what im talking about

OMG, STRAIGHT PEOPLE??

this is a rare phenomenon, folks

hello straights / straight presenting potential future couple

omg its literally been nearly an hour since i started watching and im still only 8 minutes into the episode

OR, PERHAPS, LESBIANS???

there could be anything, really

in my mind, every single character in ever single piece of media is pansexual until proven otherwise

bro you’re leaning into each other so much, JUST KISS

also i sense that sean’s about to become the unwilling captain of yet another ship (but he secretly loves it)

kiss.

lmao theyre not sponsored by the anime sparkling water, it’s just normal water, the little plebs

soundwin were sponsored by the anime sparling water

and then tiwpor were

but soundwin did it first

soundwin always did it first

anyway, it’s seanmaithee time not soundwin time

KISS. (again, the frEAKING ARM OVER THE SHOULDER GHBRHGB)

there was a slight scene change and i thought that meant that maybe we wouldnt see much of them for a while, but nOPE, THEYRE EVERYWHERE

i wouldnt be surprised if they were behind me right now

hello seanmaitee, how are you today

(i wish)

lmao they even blurred the water bottles in post just so that everyone knows that THIS ISNT A SPONSOR

THEY BACK TO THEIR ROOTS, SEAN’S HAND ON MAITEE’S SHOULDER

BRO YOU’RE ALWAYS SMILING AT HIM IN MOMENTS WHERE IT DOESN’T FEEL LIKE IT FITS THE CONTEXT TO BE SMILING AT HIM

YOURE IN LOVE WITH HIM

KISS HIM

“you two see that kluen and i are in love, but let me tell you that-” THAT YOU TWO ARE ALSO IN LOVE???? “we actually love each other much more than what you see” DANG IT I WAS WRONG

im right tho. seanmaithee are in love.

HES SO UNNECESSARY AND DRAMATIC, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

im sorry what the hell does that mean

omg maybe its because he knows how to make people jealous because he knows that he’s always made sean jealous and he knows that now because theyve already confessed to each other and theyre already dating???????

im definitely clowning but shut up i dont care

whoop, helmet putting on time

(guess what, soundwin did that first too-)

i smell a sponsorship in this motorbike thingy

this makes me so happy

why does this make me so happy

he knwos him so well and knows he loves art and stuff

so he wants to take him to buy watercolour

i love them

i love them so much

grhgbtrhbgfr

OH HE EVEN KNEW HE WAS RUNNING OUT OF WATERCOLOUR??? BROOOOOO

theyre so sweet

sorry im tryna take the commentary down a notch because this is long enough already lmao

FINALLY, IM FINISHED 1/4

THAT TOOK WAY TOO LONG

IT WAS ONLY LIKE 15 MINUTES LONG AND ITS BEEN OVER AN HOUR SINCE I STARTED

omg i just remembered i forgot to watch the mv for the ost for this

i was gonna do it like four times yesterday but i kept getting distracted and forgetting

dang it

OMG OISHI SPONSOR

I FREAKING LOVE OISHI SPONSORSHIP SEGMENTS

THEYRE MY FAVOURITE SPONSORSHIPS AND I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN WHY

is it just bc i love ice tea? that could very well be it

lmao nueakluen stirring things up just to make seanmaitee confused this is so funny

im loving this storyline

we’ve barely seen it play out yet but i want typhoon to be happy and this is so nice

lmao what girls

seanmaithee are in love with each other, bro

aweeee little accidental kiss

FOREHEAD KISS

“CAN I KISS YOU”

and he asked in ENGLISH

its always so offputting whenever they speak english for like one sentence bc im never expecting it

i love it

but also i hate it

why are you speaking english

stop speaking this rubbish language

it sucks

a lot

its the worst language

keep speaking thai, please

AWW KISSEEEE

“of course” STOP IT WITH THE ENGLISH, PLEASE

AWWWWWEEEEEHBRDHFGBREHJDG KISSSSSS THEY KISS

HAPPY

“you only kissed one cheek so i only open one eye” hes so silly (affectionate) i love him

brEAKFAST IN BED???

EGWSVFHGSGV “will you eat breakfast first or eat me first” bro

THE FAKE DRAMA THEYRE STIRRING UP- THIS IS SO FUNNY WHAT THE HELL

GEIRHBDGHREDB TYPHOON AND... i forgot her name. the girl. TYPHOON AND THE GIRL THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME

shes so pretty

THE FAKE ARGUMENTS

ITS SO FUNNY

KLUEN’S GETTING SO INTO IT HIS ANGER LOOKS SO REAL OMG

mIN, THAT’S HER NAME, MIN

“if this thing makes them break up, let’s get ordained, shall we?” the way this is worded it sounds like some kind of marriage proposal

“i told you i already have a date with a girl” NOOOOOOOOO

noooooo, maithee had a date with a girl, and the only other person other than their group that’s going on the trip thing is nay, and theyre definitely gonna do a naysean thing, gosh freaking darnnit

unless they dont

unless maitee only had the date so that he could try and get over his feelings for sean bc hes convinced himself sean doesnt reciprocate, but my hopes are not high

BUILDING A HOUSE TOGETHER???? PLEASEEEEE

theyre so freaking in love i love them so much

LITTLE KISSE i love when they little kisse

damn its over now

NOOOOO IN THE PREVIEW THERES A SUPER CLEAR NAYSEAN THING

I LOVE WINNYSATANG A LOT BUT WHY CANT IT BE SEANMAITHEEEEEEEE

pls i just want pawin’s characters to be happy and gay in every single os2 episode that he’s in

and because seanmaithee hAVE to be together

AAAAAA

welp i take too long to watch things and now the next episode comes out in a little under 2 hours, and i started watching this about two hours ago so thats fun

#quodekash watches our skyy 2 despite desperately needing to sleep #quodekash annoys everyone about star in my mind (im so sorry)#star in my mind #star & sky #khabkluen #daonuea #nueakluen #kluennuea #kluendao #seanmaitee #seanmaithee #joongdunk #joong archen #dunk natachai #typhoonmin #mintyphoon #pepper phanuroj #pawin kulkaranyawich #satang kittiphop

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xiao-isms · 3 years

Note

Hello I just recently found your Sub Xiao things and oh my god thank you for the food 😍😍 If ur taking requests, Reader with a strap on with a dildo that can vibrate, and Xiao taking it ? 👀 Multiple orgasms would be fun, but anything you write is excellent so I don’t mind where you take this 😳

— dirty.

character. xiao

content warnings. multiple orgasms, semi dirty talk, verbal humiliation, cum eating, a little bit of cross-dressing. note that reader does have a strap-on but i tried to make it as gn as possible !

word count: 1.7k words

voicemail. agshs thank u sm anon! i really liked writing this one so i hope you enjoy <3 ps sorry if the ending is rushed, i recently started uni so ive been superrr busy lately

you slid a hand up xiao’s milky thigh and underneath his blush pink pleated skirt with a mischievous grin on your lips. halting for a moment, you took the opportunity to squeeze that soft, meaty flesh that you loved so dearly, pressing wet kisses and angry red hickies across his skin. once satisfied with your work, you pull away and lift your head to look the mighty yaksha right in his now watery eyes and archons, you doubted even the lord of geo himself would believe you if you told him how pathetic his war-hardened adeptus looked at this very moment, all from a few simple touches. the sight was laughable, really; his hard cock protruded from his pretty little skirt, precum already beginning to stain the garment, accompanied by a face so flushed you swore you could see steam emerging from the top of the other's head. you grabbed the man by his chin and yanked him forward. "you're fucking disgusting." the words came out a bit harsher than intended but xiao, oh xiao, he loved it. he loved it when you made him feel absolutely deplorable; when you broke him until he felt like he couldn't be fixed. he didn't respond, just looked at you with hunger, like he was silently begging you to fuck his brains out.

you could feel a primal need rumbling from deep inside your chest. “does that turn you on?” you asked with a cheeky grin that only seemed to be getting larger by the second. the petite man whimpered in your tight hold, nodding ever so slightly but much too embarrassed to give a direct response. “how naughty of you, xiao. so shy, and yet so, so dirty.” you interlocked your lips with his, sliding your tongue in his small mouth as soon as you got the chance. it was messy and sloppy and it felt like xiao hadn’t kissed anyone a day in his life, saliva running down the sides of his pointed chin while his mouth hung open, completely pliant, but it was so hot. you were the first to pull away which only made the adeptus whine in a desperate, high-pitched voice.

“so needy,” you whispered in the shell of his ear, rubbing his sensitive sides. “you want it? you want my cock in you, pretty boy?” he makes a sound of affirmation, one that you can’t quite make out, but one nonetheless. xiao shouldn’t be acting like this, he knows he shouldn’t—he’s a yaksha, a seasoned demon slayer, and yet, whenever he’s with you like this, he just can’t seem to control himself. he thrusted his little hips into thin air with vigor in what seemed to be an attempt to get some kind of friction, something—anything—to soothe his aching, leaking dick. “ah, ah,” you hummed, gripping his waist so tightly you were both positive there would be bruises there the next morning. “the only way you’re going to cum tonight is with my cock plowing into your tiny hole.”

the way his face contorted slightly and his brows furrowed while fresh, blood-hot tears ran down his flushed cheeks only spurred you on further. you spread his legs as far as possible, yanking both his cute panties and tight skirt off, throwing it behind you without care. you haphazardly coated your fingers in saliva before inserting them inside your boy with newfound fervor, eager to fuck him until he couldn’t think straight and was unable to scream anything other than your name. he moaned and cried and whimpered as you pumped your wet digits in and out of his hole. the adeptus whined, he was so close, so close, but he desperately wanted to be good for you-- and there's hardly anything that he wouldn't do to achieve that, even if it meant holding back his own orgasm. you scissored your middle and index finger, adding a third once you were sure xiao was stretched well enough. soon, you were able to thrust your digits in back and forth freely while the other's body continuously spasmed and shook with close to unbearable pleasure.

too impatient to keep waiting to enter the small man, you pulled your fingers out entirely, the act ripping a loud wail from your lover. "wh...w-why'd you stop?" the words were slurred and almost incomprehensible—it sounded something akin to what someone drunken on sex would say, certainly not a powerful immortal such as himself. the question truly makes you wonder if he'd actually been paying attention to your previous statement or if he really was that incoherent already. how cute, you hadn't even started and here he was, a drooling, stupid mess. you didn't respond, instead opting to press your lips against his, thrusting your tongue deep into his mouth once again. whether or not he understood you before didn't matter, the night would end the same way: with xiao becoming an inchoate husk of a being, only able to give as much pleasure as he received.

quickly, you fastened the harness onto your waist, clicking the straps in place. the plastic toy connected to the o-ring of the strap-on was useful in more ways than one; you knew the both of you’d love it as soon as you saw it. slowly—or, as slowly as you could, patience thrown to the wind long ago—you slid inside of your boy with ease, his breath hitching in the most adorable ways. you smirked and wrapped your fingers around the small device that activated the dildo. “are you ready?” before the man under you had a chance to answer, you clicked the 'on' button, the sex toy whirling to life. for a second, you thought you could see hearts in xiao’s teary, amber eyes. he looked so, so beautiful like this; spreading his legs and moaning for you like a cheap hooker. nimble fingers landed on his waist once again, allowing your hips to slam against the meat of his thighs. his mouth hung agape in shock at the sudden movement, whimpers and whines spilling from those pretty, swollen lips. "a-ah! mmph, p-please go s—oh!—" the words seemed to have fallen dead on his tongue due to a particularly well aimed thrust, hurling him forward. every little movement felt so good, like he was on cloud nine, and oh god, don't even get him started on the way the pseudo cock vibrated in him, making his head go blank with overwhelming lust. he could feel that familiar heat stirring in his abdomen, his eyes rolling to the back of his head.

"mm, 'm gonna cum, ooh, g-gonna cum, p-please!"

with one more rough, domineering push of your hips, he came over the newly washed bed sheets. you slowly came to a stop and slipped your fingers over the head of his now softening sex, swiping away a hefty amount of your lover's seed and putting it towards his face. "open.” you demanded, inserting your moist digits in his mouth. his red, puffy lips wrapped around them, lazily licking you clean. "good boy," you praised as you pulled your fingers from him. "do you like that? you like eating your own cum like a filthy whore, hm?" he didn’t respond, apparently much too fucked out to even nod. you pulled the man’s cheeks together, leaning down and pressing the tip of your nose to his own.

“i asked you a question.”

his mouth opened slightly at the deep, commanding tone of your voice; he was trying to answer you, he was trying to be good, but his mind was so fuzzy he could hardly breathe. with much struggle, he moves his head up and back down. the action was hardly noticeable with how subtle it was, but you took pity on the poor yaksha, placing a kiss that he felt was almost too gentle considering the current situation. you heard a whimper erupt from xiao and a small, close to inaudible humming sound could be heard within the quiet room.

oh.

you had forgotten about that.

the adeptus trembled underneath your form with overstimulation. he feared he was going to cum again, untouched; he could feel it in the way his dick was beginning to harden again, the way the muscles in his stomach churned and tightened in the most delightful ways, ways that made him feel lightheaded and painfully aroused. you were silent, watching your lover’s face scrunch up with a glint of pure lust clear in your half-lidded eyes. you begin to rock your hips back and forth again, only moving a centimeter an inch this time. xiao couldn’t stop thinking about how good you felt inside him, how his slick walls clenched and unclenched around your barely moving cock, making the smallest squelching noises.

it was all so filthy.

with that thought, the warm coil in his lower body burst and he was positive that he was seeing stars from how hard he’d just orgasmed. it was ego-boosting, really, knowing that only you could touch him like this, look at him like this. you hummed, increasing the pace of your thrusts until xiao was crying and incoherent, garbled whines falling from his mouth. “s-sen—o-oh fuck!” tears clouded his vision as you abused his prostate, taking advantage of that sensitive spot inside him. with heavy breaths, you leaned down to look at him directly, the smell of sweat and sex prominent on both of your bodies. “you’re such a good boy, xiao,” you commended between grunts and quiet moans. you brushed his messy hair back so you could see the pleasure on his flushed face, planting kisses on each of his cheeks. he keened at the attention, throwing his arm over his face to hide from the embarrassment.

“you take my cock so well, such a brave boy.” you knew he loved to be showered in praise more than anything, even more than he loved to be pinned down and degraded. he felt as if he’d cum at any second, the way the silicone toy felt inside him was more than exhilarating and your occasionally words only added to that addicing feeling. nimble fingers wrapped around the base of his dick, hard and dripping precum, preparing itself for its third orgasm. you finished him off with just a few strokes, his small form twitching with overstimulation. you slowly came to a stop and cupped his red face with your hands.

“what am i ever going to do with you, baby?”

#hey im not dead #🎐. . . xiao #WAIT I FORGOT TO TITLE THIS #genshin impact smut #xiao genshin impact #xiao x reader #genshin impact #xiao smut #sub xiao #bottom xiao #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #xiao

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moonandflowersfairy · 2 years

Text

breath, love // rindou x g.n! reader

genre — hurt / comfort

warnings — breakdowns, crisis, implied panic attack

wc — 578

request — Hii ! I go by J , i saw your requests are open so i tought i might try to request . I apologise if my request mde you uncomfortable in any way or if it doesn't make sense- Could i request a hurt/comfort scenario/headcanons ( whatever ur more comfy with ) with eighter Sanzu or/and Rindo ? Ive been pretty overwhelmed lately because i have extra classes and my grades are rlly bad- Im allways exhausted and i can barely get any sleep or even eat . So maybe the character comforting the reader after they break down because they feel like they're not good enough and because their parents r putting a lot of pressure on them ? Again i apologise if i made any spelling mistakes or if what i wrote dosent make any sense ! Feel free to ignore my request if it makes you unconfortable or if you dont want to wirte it !Thank you and have a great day/night !

A.N — Im so sorry for not posting this earlier J, I was going through something similar and honestly I didn't have a mind for anything, hope you are better and lots of light and love to you <3 (I don't write for Sanzu, excuses in advance)

he came in the afternoon, closing the front door of you house, heading straight to your room. he was late and he knew it, everything he wanted was to be with you but business came accross and he could not ignore it.

sobbing could be heard feet away from your door, panic started to arise in his body and when he open the door he almost cried, the sight of you shattered his soul in pieces, your eyes were puffy, your lips and nose were red from crying, tears streaming down your face uncontrolably, you were holding your chest, sign that you were having problems breathing. he almost froze in that moment but you were more important, he inmediately went to you, holding you in his arms, he started counting from 1 to 5, trying to get you to follow him.

you felt somewhat ashamed of your state, this had happened to you a few times before but never in front of someone else, and you didn't want rindou to find you in that state, vulnerability is difficult to show, you were a mess, a 'controled mess' as you liked to say, it wasn't necessary for him to see you in this position you thought, everything was under control you thought, but you couldn't be more wrong.

incoherent words came out of you plus the fact you couldn't properly breath. you followed his direction, his voice was calming and soothing, his arms held you closely to his body, providing warmth to your fragile body.

once you calmed down, he gave you a hug, waiting for you to talk, he wasn't good with words so he waited, and waited, and he would always wait, only when you were ready you said to him how school was hard and your parents were crushing you, how the pressure was too much to bare, how everything accumulated, how many sleepless nights you had, how complicated things were turning out, how you really felt. tears and tears flooded and you were tired of holding them back. rindou tave you a space and time to let it all out, he gave you security to be you, with everything it camed with.

he was so assuring even if he didn't say anything, he just watched and contemplated with empathy, your body acted on its own hugging him so tightly you could swear he was uncomfortable, but nothing of the matter. he palmed your back very gently and said "breathe, love, this that you feel is valid, you are valid. take a break on everything and focus on yourself, and never forget to breath" giving you a kiss on the forehead. it seemed like he was crying too but who wdre you to judge, you didn't care about that, you couldn't even think straight anymore, a wave of emotions and thoughts cane out of you harshly, not giving you time to analyze your situation, tears replaced words.

it was one of your most intimate moments, just you two being vulnerable and opening up to each other, trust building up and love florishing from the bottom of your hearts.

rindou never saw you as weak, never doubted your needs and actions, he was very certain that this was what you needed, him.

maybe he came late to you, maybe he should have noticed before, but you where with him in that instant and that's what mattered the most.

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokrev #rindou haitani x reader #haitani rindou x reader #haitani rindou #rindo x reader #rindou x reader #rindou haitani #rindo haitani x reader #tokrev rindou #haitani x reader #[✯] rindou

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 2 years

Note

Tw death and suicide

hi. i just need some reassurance please. this is something thats been haunting me for years but i once went to a gore site when i was young and completely forgot about everything until one day it all hit me again. i felt so much guilt and grief i would cry myself to sleep every night. it felt like i caused it somehow by watching those videos and that maybe if i just died i would atone for watching them or that maybe i couldve somehow saved their lives by never watching them die. whenever i try to talk about in real life i get choked up and cant talk. its been my biggest trauma for me. sometimes when all the guilt got really bad i would go onto the site again and watch more. the memories of it all have gotten fainter but honestly the worst part over the years is the loneliness of my trauma. it feels like no one has ever been through what i have even though logically i know thats not true. i feel especially lonely in the feeling that i think about those people alot and what their lives probably were. i feel an attachment to these strangers that ive never even heard of and sometimes i pray for them even though im not religous. i even think about if they would ever forgive me for it all and get scared that they wont. i know ive never met these people and i cant even remember their faces anymore but it tears me apart so much still. sorry if this is incoherent.

Hey anon,

It sounds like this has been weighing heavily on you for a long time. That must be really difficult to deal with.

The internet has a lot of things on it that are not appropriate for children to see or engage with. Lots of kids have been exposed to harmful material online and none of them are at fault for that. It is the fault of the people who make (often fabricated) and post these kinds of videos.

I hope you can find comfort in the fact that many of those sorts of videos are faked. That doesn't mean that the harm they cause is lessened, but it may help to know that not all of the people you saw were actually being harmed.

I understand why you'd feel like no one else has experienced what you have. This type of trauma is not talked about much. But more and more, people are talking about the trauma they experienced via the internet, and all of the things they were exposed to that caused harm. This harm is valid.

It sounds like you're really hurting and that the idea of the people in the videos being harmed is extremely distressing for you. You're feeling guilty for something you did not do. The shame around that can be really challenging. Shame diminishes your self-compassion and growth.

Some ways to overcome guilt and shame: - Forgive yourself. Acknowledge what you did and really see it for what it was. You were not maliciously seeking out graphic material. You do not have to punish yourself. - Ask yourself, "what was I looking for?" and "what did I need?" - Accept your feelings. - Practice self-compassion. What would you tell a friend in a similar situation? - Remember that you've grown and learned since then and you are now able to keep yourself safe online. - Acknowledge your judgmental thoughts and feelings about yourself, but don't give them weight. Just notice them and try to imagine them floating away. You don't need to get attached to every thought.

There is nothing you need to atone for. You haven't done anything wrong. You are not the cause of those types of videos. You did not hurt anyone.

Take care.

- Misa

#mod misa #trauma talks #tw death #tw suicide #guilt #shame #tw gore mention

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anarmorofwords · 3 years

Note

Sinners Lauren Aquilina

I immediately like her voice

It's almost soothing but in a haunting kind of way

You showed me feelings I've never felt before (this gives me 'you showed me colours you know I camt see without you' vibes!!!)

The world may disapprove But my world is only you And if we're sinners then it feels like heaven to me (incoherent screeches)

Our hearts are too ruthless to break Lets start fires for heavens sake (YES YES YES YES YES YES)

YOU FEEL LIKE HEAVEN TO ME!?!?!?!

No Ana I loved this its soft but a little angsty too (aka like Alastair 😂)

I'll Stay Isabela Merced

My feet are sore from walking all night long (NO BUT WHEN HE HAD TO GO TAKE CARE OF ELIAS ANA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO)

ALASTAIR PLEASE STOP HURTING ME

Why can't I figure out if this is to Cordleia or Thomas?!?! Cause of the "stay with me Layla"

The Village Wrabel

OH MY GOD ANA I HEARD THIS AGES AGO AND I SWEAR IT HIT ME LIKE A BOLT OF LIGHTENING BUT I COULDN'T FIND IT AGAIN

Jesus no this is going to hurt me

HIS FAMILY DON'T GET IT NO ONE GETS IT

THEY STARE IN THE VILLAGE (no no no they do stare at him don't they!? Aaaaaahhhhhhh)

Feel the rumors follow you From Monday all the way to Friday dinner You got one day of shelter Then it's Sunday hell to pay, you young lost sinner (oh no that's actually making tears form oh lord)

There's nothing wrong with you It's true, it's true There's something wrong with the village (yes Alastair babe yes!!!!!)

(One page of the bible isnt worth a life is one of the most hard hitting lines I have heard in a while)

Broken Isak Danielson

Oh Ana, tell me, why do you do this to me!?!?

Do you need, do you need someone? Are you scared of what's to come? If you leave then who will the next one be? Will he do the same or will he let you see That you don't have to hurt, you don't have to hurt anymore? With a little time, take a look and find what you're searching for You are broken on the floor And you're crying, crying He has done this all before But you're lying, lying To yourself, that he'll find help That he will change to someone else But you're broken on the floor Still, asking him for more (*curls up in a ball on the floor*)

Will you leave or will you carry on? Is your love from before still strong? If you leave, will you keep the memory That made the night so long, that cut so deep? (*begins to rock in the fetal position still on the floor*)

ANA

FUCK NO I AM ACTUALLY PROPERLY CRYING NOW ANA

sinners

yup EXACTLY!!! soft but like angsty/melancholic still

look this is often my go-to song for queer characters because "if we're sinners it feels like heaven" C'MON

I'll stay

i mostly go for a familial interpretation but that's because I associate the song with the movie it's from I also strongly associate it with our found family

The village

i know shadowhunters aren't religious, but the judging/dissaproval vibe remains

" One page of the Bible isn't worth a life" is one of the most powerful lines I've ever come across the first time I heard it i actually felt breathless for a moment and like my country is super homophobic and catcholic and ive been raised catcholic too and woah it just,,,, hits

Broken

in all honesty I didn't want to recommend this song to you, but i swear it's one of my main Charlestairs songs

but it's also so beautiful like music-wise?! I listen to it A Lot whoops

*hugs you*

I'M SO SORRY LOVE BUT I PUT THE DISCLAIMER AND I MEANT IT WHEN I SAID MOST OF MY MUSIC HURTS™

#mutuals!#tw swearing

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itsleah728 · 3 years

Text

Perfect~ Julian x Reader

A/n: PLEASE READ! Hello everyone, I took a bit of a break for the holidays and such. I also have been quite down in the dumps, I get sad over dumb things like getting a zit or not liking what I create. I wanted to write this story to show that no matter what you do or how you look you’re not alone and there is someone waiting out there for you. That person may either be a friend or a lover but either way you’ll never be alone. Now I’m only young and haven’t truly experienced life yet, I’ve never even been in love only minor crushes but that’s a different story. Anyways I also wanted to write this because I wanted to try getting my love for life back you know? I haven’t even been creating art lately which is horrible because I love making art. Well if you read that whole thing thank you but it’s fine if you didn’t. Now onto the actual story which may be shorter than normal.

READERS POV. (1st person) I know I normally do 2nd person but I didn’t want to say “you” knowing that not everyone is experiencing things like this.

WARNING: This story shows self esteem issues and a fear of being alone!

Julian has been out working for a while now, which for me is never a good thing. Being alone leaves me with only my thoughts, my thoughts happen to be mostly negative. Ive never told Julian about what I fear or what I think because I never want to be a burden to him. He deserves someone who can brighten a room and cheer others up, not someone sad and insecure. People have told me not to be so sad over small things that can’t be helped but it’s harder than some people choose to think. In my opinion being happy is something you have to earn or something that you gain. Most of the time I silently cry myself to sleep praying that I don’t wake Julian. Night time is when my thoughts keep me awake, consistently telling me horrible things that deep down I know aren’t true.

Julian has been working for hours now and my breath slowly starts to shorten as the hours go by. A fear or being alone is what I have had sense I was young. I grew up being scared and stressed that I’ll get older and be alone but then I found Julian. He is always by my side and only leaves when he has to work, I don’t mean to sound clingy either but right when he leaves I get scared that he won’t come back. I could never tell him to stay home either because his job makes him happy and no matter what my fears say I won’t take away his happiness.

My fear for loneliness decreased as I got older and met more people but the reasons for my fear never went away. I’m so deep into my thoughts that I don’t even notice the door creaking open. I don’t snap out of my own head until I hear Julians voice speak up from behind me. “Darling, are you okay?” I jump in the air at the words suddenly spoken. I turn around to see Julian staring at me with a worried expression sketched across his face. I give him my best fake smile and pray he doesn’t ask anymore questions because I may just over flow. “Julian I’m doing great how was work?” Julian clearly doesn’t buy it but he continues on with the conversation non the less. I know he’s going to ask about it later though.

We continue on speaking about Julians work day until late that night when we decide to finally go to sleep. The sun decided to no longer shine and gave the moon its time. The light glow of the moon illuminates Julians handsome features as he wearily glances at me from the corner of his eye. He probably think I notice but he’s never been the stealthy kind.

He stares for a while more until his filter finally cracks, “Darling are you positive you’re feeling well?” I debate on telling him anything when all of my fears and negative thoughts start creeping in. I involuntarily let out a saddened whimper which puts Julian on high alert. He stares shocked towards my shaking frame until he he seemingly snaps out of it and gives me a bone crushing hug. He whispers kind words into my ear as I break down and start sobbing.

Julian eventually calms me down until I’m able to speak when he asks “tell me what’s bothering you please!” His voice is begging me to tell him what’s on my mind and I answer before I can even think about it. “Would you ever leave me?” I finally speak the one question that’s been tainting my mind all my life, I ponder for a moment and realize how stupid it sounds. I’m about to take it back when Julian almost screams “never would I ever even think about leaving you love, now what brought on these foolish thoughts?” “I-I I’ve always had t-these horrible thoughts, I w-was just scared one d-day you’ll d-decide to l-leave me” I manage to stutter out while holding back another round of tears.

I calm myself before speaking again, trying to explain why I feel the way I feel in greater detail. “I have always felt ugly, whether it be because I have blemishes or I’m too fat/skinny (either of these can be a reason for someone to be upset so I wanted to include both) I have never really liked myself so I put on fake confidence and try going with the flow.” I don’t dare look up at Julian as I take another breath to continue. “I have also always had a fear of being alone, I thought I would grow up and everyone would think I’m ugly or no fun and would just leave me. I sometimes get scared when you go to work that you’ll never come back.” By the time I’m done I am holding my breath and tears back.

All is silent before two arms wrap tightly around me. I feel wetness drop onto my shoulder as I realize I have made Julian cry. I gasp as tears start falling even harder than before. I then wrap my arms around Julian even tighter than his are around me.

We sit like this for a moment before Julian pulls back and wipes his eyes. “Darling I would never leave you and if you felt all of these things why haven’t you told me?” I sheepishly look away before responding with “I didn’t want to be a burden to you because you deserve better than that.” Julians jaw drops and he seems to get tense until he whispers “love, you are the greatest thing to ever happen to me. I love you too much to ever even consider leaving you.” I feel like crying again but manage to hold back as I mumble “thank you.” Julian slightly smiles my way and he slams me into his chest once again. He kisses my head as a wave of sleepiness washes over me, probably from crying so many tears. Julian lightly pushes me against the bed and says “rest now darling we can speak more about this in the morning.” I mumble a incoherent response as my fatigue decides to completely wash over me. The last thing I notice is Julian squishing me against his tall frame and me thinking ‘I’ll never be alone’ before the darkness takes over.

SORRY FOR THE KINDA SAD CHAPTER BUT I THINK IT HAD TO BE DONE FOR ME TO FEEL REMOTELY BETTER.

Check out my Instagram @its.leahs.art

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thetomorrowshow · 4 years

Text

Slower Than Words Ch. 5

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

I legitimately feel sorry about this chapter! It wasn’t meant to be this intense, just lightly angsty. Virgil really threw himself under the angst bus for this one so buckle up y’all

cw: gagging, unethical eye operations (not in great detail), panic attack, kidnapping, by a cult specifically, character being restrained (both on a table and not), brief mention of blood, fever, intense pain, vomit, that’s a lot of warnings, passing mention of drugs, singular mention of an IV, surgical implications

Everything was decidedly not going to be okay, Virgil realized several days later when he was rudely awoken by rough hands pulling him out of bed and out the door before he could say a word. He opened his mouth to scream and had a rag stuffed in it, which was also rude.

While being dragged down a hallway, Virgil took the moment to reflect on his current mental state, which was scarily calm considering what was happening. Shock, probably. Even more likely was the overwhelming gratitude he was feeling that it was him leaving the safety of the room, not Patton. That gratitude gave way to fear (finally) as he was brought into another room, one with a distinctly medical smell.

The room. Not the room, please, not the place where his eyes burned and he could hear himself screaming but was fairly detached, watching from the side as the men and women in white coats leaned over him and measured his reaction. The place where he was left alone, for weeks, as his eyes slowly healed but never saw again. The place where they had strapped him down, hadn't drugged him even as he struggled and sobbed with pain—

They were doing that now, Virgil realized with a start, and he began to fight, trying to force them away and roll off the table, but they already had his ankles secured.

“Get that out of his mouth, we're not monsters.”

Virgil would have cried at hearing words that didn't come from his own mouth if he weren't already crying. The rag was pulled from between his teeth, and he gasped out incomplete sentences of pleas and desperation.

“Virgil, is it?” a woman said.

“My name, that's my name,” Virgil sobbed, almost incoherently. No one had said it in so long, he almost wanted them to say it again.

“Well Virgil, we're here to help. All we need you to do is lie still.”

Virgil would have promised anything, but he was suddenly aware of the fact that they had finished strapping him down. He didn't have a choice here. He tried to calm his hitching sobs, aware that he definitely looked not only like a fool, but weak.

“Wh-what are you going to do?” he asked pitifully. There were several long moments of silence. Then the same woman before spoke, saying eerily familiar words.

“We're going to fix you, in the name of the Prophets.”

Virgil screamed.

Virgil had been in the back of this van for far too long. His mind was still in overdrive with fear, but now he could wonder—why had he been kidnapped? There was nothing special about him. He was just like any other college kid, trying to make his way in life with money in the negative and relationships even lower. The only person who might care about him was his roommate Roman, but he also had no money and therefore would never be able to pay a ransom. Not to mention, Roman was promising. He was only failing geology, he'd just gotten a role in a production at the high end theater across town, and he had a boyfriend who definitely didn't care about Virgil.

There was nothing he could do to escape whatever awful fate these strangers had for him. They didn't look too dangerous, all four men wearing square-looking jeans and plain t-shirts, but none of them had very built figures. Only one looked like he worked out, which was a testament to the fact that Virgil was a pathetic weakling. He should've splurged and bought that gym membership.

The van stopped for hours at one point, Virgil assumed in a hotel parking lot or something. He would've liked to get out of the cramped space, but it was clear that wasn't happening any time soon. His hands were tied to his ankles (a fact that had sent him into more than one panic attack) and both were pulled behind his back in a hog tie, and a bandana was bundled up in his mouth and tied around the back of his head. He could tell it was night; some of the light from the part of the van with seats filtered in during the day. It was nice to have a little light. Darkness scared him—he always slept with the blinds on the window turned to let some moonlight in, now that he was far too old for a nightlight. Now, however, there was zero light and Virgil was barely keeping himself from freaking out. He just had to survive the night, then nothing would ever be dark again.

They were back on the road. The men chatted loudly, but so many of the words seemed to have a different context for them than they did for him. Haven? Blessings? Liberating? It sounded like a cult, and Virgil once again attempted to free himself of the ropes. The only thing he gained was rope burn.

When the door opened and Virgil blinked at the sudden light and wave of heat, he had to assume they'd arrived. Instead of moving (or shooting) him, two people stared. A man and a woman, the man in a simple suit, the woman in an even simpler dress. Sweat trickled down Virgil's temple as he stared back at them, his jaw aching and limbs strained.

“This one will do,” the woman said eventually. The man nodded agreement, and then the ones that had kidnapped him in the first place were dragging him out of the van. Virgil maintained eye contact with the two as he passed. What did that mean? What did they need him for?

The sun beat down on them as the four men carried Virgil across a dirt road. There were small, one-story houses lining the street, but nobody outside. Virgil only had a moment to wonder why before he was being ushered into a large building. It was cooler inside than out, but still stuffy, like the air conditioning was one of those old window units.

He was carried into a room that smelled like a hospital—and looked like one. The counters were laden with different tools that he had no idea what they were to be used for, but looked vaguely like they belonged in a horror movie. The four men rolled him onto the operating table in the center of the room, then set to work untying him. Virgil lay still, hoping to trick them into thinking he would be compliant. He'd wait until his legs were free, then start fighting back.

That was a no-go, as it turned out. The men easily grabbed his legs and pulled a strap over them, securing him into place. He managed to flail his fist into one person's nose, and felt a deep satisfaction when the man doubled over, bleeding. It was quickly snuffed out as the other three got a hold of his arms and strapped them down as well. Then they all left, even the man Virgil had hit, shutting the door and leaving him alone.

Virgil's eyes darted around the room, taking it all in. The only sound was his heavy breathing. He flexed his fingers and toes a few times, trying to get feeling back into them. He groaned deep in his throat as they began to tingle, then ache. He shifted a little, the sweat pooling under his shirt and hoodie making him supremely uncomfortable.

The door opened with a bang, startling Virgil enough that he jumped. Quite a few—seven, maybe—people in white lab coats entered, the last man wearing plain clothes and looking less like a nerd than the others and more like a bodyguard. Virgil swallowed. What were they going to do to him?

“Hello, Virgil,” an older man with a scar on his chin said, smiling too wide. He leaned over the table, and Virgil tried to lean away. The man tsked, his smile dimming slightly.

“Now, that won't do. Don't be scared, Virgil. We aren't going to hurt you.” The man frowned for a split second, then chuckled. “I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to lie. This will likely be very painful, Virgil.”

Virgil couldn't force his eyes away from the man's, cold brown eyes boring into his soul. He felt the fear rise, bubbling out of his throat in a muffled cry, even as a tear slipped out of his eye and rolled toward his temple.

“We're going to break you, in the name of the Prophets.”

Then they were holding his head still, and—no—no—not his eyes, please, anything else—

Virgil screamed.

Virgil didn't know how long he feverishly drifted, but it was certainly hours. His eyes—it was more than burning, somehow. It was the fire of a thousand suns, concentrated in his eye sockets and pounding through his head. All he could feel was the pain, not knowing where he was or aware of any outside stimulus.

The moment Virgil recognized that it was terrifying was the moment that he could feel his fingers. Suddenly, he was no longer a miasma of pain, but a human being (engulfed by pain) again. That was also when he realized there was something pressed up to his lips. He opened his mouth—water, warm and stale but still water—flooded his dry mouth and and he choked as it hit the back of his throat. The bottle was pulled away, and Virgil spluttered for a few moments before all the water was clear of his airway. Exhausted by the fight and debilitated from the pain, Virgil let his eyes slip closed and drifted again.

When he next woke, it was to incomprehensible pain and the sensation of moving, as if whatever he was laying on was being moved. Barely letting himself wonder where he was headed, Virgil drifted again.

The cycle repeated for a while before Virgil found himself fully conscious. It hurt to turn his head, so he laid still, despite all the noises around him. He was shaking constantly, and he was pretty certain he was strapped down. The room wasn't cold, exactly, but Virgil longed for a blanket, something to perhaps weigh down his legs and ease the quaking.

“Can you hear me?”

Virgil wasn't sure if the person was talking to him or not, so he didn't respond. The other noises around the room—a sink running? A quiet conversation?—continued as if nothing happened.

“Can you hear me?”

This time, the voice was louder, and distantly familiar. Virgil nodded slightly, cut short as he grimaced in pain. Moving his head made the pain spike, inducing nausea. Now he felt he was going to throw up, as well as shiver to death. Great.

“Tell me your name.”

“Virgil,” he rasped. He'd never given these people his last name—how they'd found out his first was a mystery to him—but it didn't quite count as an act of defiance when just saying his first name had sapped all of his energy. He tasted copper in the back of his mouth and wondered vaguely if he'd screamed so much that his throat had bled.

“He's conscious enough. Try to get him to stand up.”

Virgil was trying to figure out how to respond to this when he registered the sound of Velcro tearing, then hands grabbed his arms and pulled him off of the surface. Immediately his headache spiked, and he cried out, barely aware of his knees buckling and hitting the floor.

A sigh was heard. Virgil sniffed back tears, despite the little voice in the back of his head telling him he had literally zero dignity left. He didn't want to cry, especially not at just standing up.

Then suddenly, they were moving. Virgil struggled to get his feet underneath him, but failed and resigned himself to being dragged. He was certain he was about to pass out. His head grew fuzzy, limbs filled with pins and needles. The sound of himself being pulled on the concrete was even louder than anything that had just been going on in the room; it filled his ears and pounded along to his heartbeat.

He distantly heard a laugh, then gasped as someone let go and his head cracked against the floor. It wasn't too bad, he wasn't very far from the floor anyway, but the pain of the impact still caused him to lose the battle against his stomach, vomiting all over himself and the floor. Some commotion followed that; Virgil's head was spinning and splitting and his eyes burned and put simply, he couldn't keep track.

He drifted again, laying on the floor in his own sick, not sure what was real and what wasn't. Too soon, though, he was brought back to the waking world by a jet of water hitting him square in the stomach. He jerked, then spluttered as the water hit his face. Somehow, while shocking, it was more pleasant than the pain, a nice distraction. That didn't last, though. Soon enough, Virgil was shivering and numb as the water kept spraying, a sob tearing from his throat as more and more went up his nose.

Finally it stopped, the only sounds being the water dripping from his soaked clothing and his shuddering sobs. Virgil couldn't stop crying and shaking, and there was only one thought in his head, playing over and over: I want Patton. Please I want Patton. Please Patton please I want Patton please—

After what felt like hours of just laying there, hands grabbed his wrists again and began dragging. Virgil didn't even try to stand, or stop crying. He was so cold. So, so, cold, and he just wanted Patton, just wanted to be safe. . . .

More noise—so loud—and a little more strain on his arms before he was dropped, palms bouncing lightly off the floor. Virgil wanted to curl up on his side, hoard what little body heat he had, but he couldn't move. He couldn't move, and they were coming closer. His sobs ratcheted up as he just knew they were right above him, holding those tools and moving closer and—

Someone touched him, and Virgil whimpered loud. He couldn't—not again—please no, please please please no—

They took his hand and touched his wrist—an IV, they were just putting drugs in him—with warm fingers, tracing something—

Tracing . . . something. . . .

P-a-t-t-o-n.

“Patton,” Virgil croaked. Patton was here. Patton was safe, Patton would make everything all right. With that knowledge, Virgil finally fell into a comfortable sleep.

Taglist (let me know if you want to be added/removed): @enragedbees @gotta-love-alejandra @bunny222 @basiic-emo @patt0n-sanders @rosiepupper @fangirlgeekandfreak @dn-fan21 @that2000skid @remy-the-lemon-berry @itsadastraperaspera @xionbean @sanderssides-angst @hell-yea-we-gay-tonight @maybedefinitely404

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muwur · 4 years

Note

idk if this counts as an emergency or comfort request but ive been havin a REAL bad body image week nsnnnsnnnsnn could i maybe request headcanons for either oikawa or kuroo (u can pick if u wanna) with an s/o who is rlly self conscious about being chubby/has a really hard time with food and mayb feels like worthless because theyre not the ideal body type? idk sorry if thats dumb aaaah thank u sm if u choose to do this

self-love

♡ scenarios ♡ for oikawa and kuroo

❧ gn reader

✎ 3.7k words

a/n: hey hun, im sorry to hear you’ve been having a rough time lately. this kind of request actually rlly hits close to home, and if u ever need anything, ur mor than welcome to reach out to me :) i can also help look for resources for help, anything really. this goes for all y’all! i dont want none y’all to feel alone with anything ur going thru cuz we’re in this together! and no need to thank me, the pleasure is mine luv 🥰💕 nothing about this is dumb, ur feelings are valid. i hope this will bring you n many others some comfort. also,, FUCK BODY STANDARDS MAKIN US BELIEVE THERE’S AN IDEAL TYPE BC THERE IS NONE N Y’ALL R BEAUTIFUL N IF U DUN THINK SO I WILL COME OVER DER,,, ok im done 🥰🥰 (more notes at the bottom of this, i talk a lot n think its important, didnt wanna add it up here bc it was too long lolol) tw: mentions of bad body and implies disordered eating behaviors

oikawa

♡ Oikawa was pretty keen, so when he observed a gradual shift in your behavior, he definitely took notice

♡ One day when you showed up to lunchtime empty-handed and sat with your two friends, casually chatting, Oikawa and Iwaizumi gave you a questioning look

♡ “Where’s your lunch, y/n?” Oikawa asked

♡ “Oh, I, uh, ate it already, actually.”

♡ Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow and offered you some of his, but you declined, thanking him and stating you were already full

♡ Later that day in class, however, Oikawa couldn’t help but notice the absence of your boxed lunch container in your unzipped backpack

♡ The next day, you came empty-handed again, blaming it on your forgetfulness during your rush to get to school

♡ However, it became a normal occurrence over time, and while you seemed fine, uneasiness began to prick inside Oikawa’s stomach

♡ Those smiles you wore appeared fragile, and the laughter that rumbled from your throat felt restrained

♡ You seemed more tired and unfocused than usual

♡ Preoccupied, withdrawn, and distant

♡ He could sense something was bothering you, no matter how much you may (or may not) have tried to hide it

♡ On his way to school one morning, he made sure to stop by a convenience store to pick one of your favorite snacks, thinking it was a simple gesture to brighten up the somber aura he’s been detecting from you

♡ “I have a surprise for you, y/n~” Oikawa announced with excitement, rummaging through his bag to pull out the snack and show it to you. “Look, it’s your favorite!”

♡ You could only offer him an uneasy smile, “Oh, you shouldn’t have...” You really shouldn’t have...

♡ When he noticed the tension in your body and expression, a frown appeared on his lips

♡ “Y/n? Is something wrong?” He reached out to place a comforting hand on your shoulder but you swiftly flinched away

♡ ”I’m fine..!”

♡ Surprised at your sudden movement and outburst, you both felt a split second of apprehension crackle in the air before you started to gather your items in a rush

♡ Sighing, you repeated, “I’m fine.”

♡ He wasn’t sure whether you were speaking to him or yourself

♡ “Thanks for the snack, but I’ll pass. Have it for me. You need it more, anyways; you have volleyball practice. I’ll see you tomorrow, Oikawa,” you offered him a solemn smile and left before he could even reply

♡ Some time had passed before he could finally get you to open up to him

♡ And when you did, it crushed his heart to see how much your insecurities broke you

♡ It hurt to hear how low you thought about yourself; how you couldn’t see the beauty in your being; how you deemed food, your body, and yourself as your worst enemies

♡ Thus bringing you to the conclusion that maybe you’d be happy and like yourself if you could just give up that midday snack or your school lunch

♡ Even raincheck a cafe date you were supposed to have together

♡ Maybe also skip dinner, sometimes breakfast the next morning as well

♡ You could manage on just water

♡ Little sacrifices to shed some weight, feel better, and get closer to your ideal body goals

♡ You admitted, however, to questioning whether any of it was worth it

♡ The constant states of hunger, pain, and defeat you lived in

♡ Only to feel as though you were getting nowhere

♡ Oikawa was well aware of today’s beauty standards. I mean, he himself was often praised for his natural charm and beauty

♡ And you felt you could never reach that ideal

♡ “Oikawa, you’re too good for me.”

♡ His eyebrows knitted in concern as he lifted his right hand to caress your cheek softly. “And why do you say that?”

♡ Tears threatened to prick at your eyes. All you could was stare at the ground in silent shame

♡ When you still said nothing, he leaned in closer, his brown gaze softly pleading

♡ “Y/n, look at me.”

♡ When your eyes flickered up to meet his own, Oikawa asked, “You know I love you, right?”

♡ His question was met with a meek, “Yes.”

♡ From your clouded glaze, he could tell that you had a hard time believing in your own response

♡ “Do you know why?”

♡ But before you could respond, he was already answering his own question

♡ “Well...” he began, glancing up in thought and wearing a small smile

♡ “Something about you makes me want to be by your side. I love to see your smiles and hear your laughter, but I always want to be there to hold you when you’re crying and in pain.”

♡ “You’re supportive. You understand what I need, and I don’t always have to explain myself to you. You take your time with me and make me feel like I can be myself. Not many people have stuck around to actually get to know me. Because of that, you’ve never failed to make my day a little better with just your presence.”

♡ “You’re strong and caring. I can rely on you to have my back, and I hope I provide that same comfort to you as well.”

♡ “I love being able to lazy around with you or go on adventures and discover something new. It’s comfortable and exciting at the same time.”

♡ “Your hands feel like they were made to hold mine.”

♡ He reached down to squeeze your hand gently

♡ “Kissing you makes me forget about everything else on my mind. I can just live in the present with you.”

♡ He moved close and gave you a peck above your eyebrow

♡ “You make me want to work hard and be a better person. You help motivate me to try my best, and you never give up on me. Why would I ever give up on you?”

♡ “I learn something new with you everyday. Like right now, I realize that I’ve never met someone who could so easily make my heart race as they could make my heart break.”

♡ “When I look at you, all I can think about is how beautiful you are and how lucky I am to have you in my life as a partner and one of my best friends. Nobody else could fill the gaps within me the same way you do.”

♡ Leaning over to brush his lips against your forehead, he muttered, “I’m going to love every part of you, inside and out. You’re already my ideal. I couldn’t ask for anything more. I could go on about every detail on why I feel so strongly for you, but I’m here to show you everything there is to appreciate about yourself because you’re worth every ounce of care and effort. And if you can’t see it in yourself right now, I’ll love you more than enough for the both of us until you learn to love yourself. I’m here to help.”

♡ And after crying out your tears into his shoulder as he held you close and rubbed your back, you both went to his house to relax and have some dinner

♡ He was patient with you, taking into account how having a meal may have made you feel anxious

♡ It was something small and simple that you two agreed to prepare and share, after some tender coaxing from Oikawa

♡ He later made a list in his journal about tips to keep in mind:

♡ ‘Check up on y/n often to see how they’re feeling’

♡ ‘Encourage them to eat meals/snacks. Don’t be too pushy, but be patient. Try to have eat with them when you can!’

♡ ‘Remind them they don’t have to earn the right to eat, and that their body doesn’t define their worth‘

♡ ‘Look into some mindfulness techniques!’

♡ ‘Don’t overvalue physical appearance. Also focus on all the other redeeming qualities y/n has! But of course I’m always gonna tell them they look cutee--’

♡ True to his word, he remained understanding

♡ He’s there to listen to you, or to sit with you in comforting silence

♡ During lunch he would share his food with you, reassuring you that it wasn’t something you had to avoid

♡ Some days he succeeds in encouraging you to share a milk bun or your favorite snack with him

♡ And on days you really didn’t feel like it, he never forces anything onto you and instead made sure you at least hydrated

♡ Oikawa spends some time doing research and gathering tips on how to help you

♡ Always reminds you of your worth and how you bring out the best in him

♡ He’ll never hold it against you if you ever become hostile, irritated, or in denial. He knows you’re hurting and doesn’t take it personally

♡ Sends you cute memes with all those emoji hearts

♡ Also some food puns (Oikawa: “I’m soy into you. Please brie mine. We are mint to be. I ap-peach-iate you. You got a pizza my heart. Olive you--” ; You: *puts a hand over his mouth* ; Oikawa: 🥺 ; You: “...olive you, too”)

♡ Always ready to give up what he’s doing to make sure you’re okay

♡ Will stay up with you late at night to talk on the phone

♡ Reminds you you’re beautiful at least 8 times a day

♡ If y’all ever go shopping and you try things on in the fitting room,, Oikawa would be your #1 hype man

♡ One time you tried something on, and you were almost too ashamed to step out and show him

♡ But when you did, you were met with his surprise and excitement

♡ “dfghjklkuyfuh” was all you could process from his incoherent speech before he insisted on treating you by purchasing it for you (Oikawa: “Can you wear this for me, like, everyday?” ; You: *weird look* “Why are you like this??” you love it tho--)

♡ Gushes internally over how cute you are during your movie + cuddle sessions, mostly pays attention to you rather than the movie

♡ Mid-movie be like:

♡ Oikawa: “So, uh, what’s happening again?

♡ You: -.- “You might as well google the whole synopsis instead of watching it”

♡ Oikawa: “...it’s not my fault you’re distracting, babe”

♡ Always politely excuses himself from his fangirls to get to you. Also reassures you he much prefers to be with you than anyone else and that you’re the best catch ;)) (You: “Oikawa, no” ; Oikawa: “y/n, yes”)

♡ Suggested doing some meditation together once

♡ You listened to a recording and you sat side by side on a mat, but Oikawa thought the person’s voice sounded funny so he had a hard time focusing

♡ But it ended with y’all laughing and making jokes as he lay his lead on your lap and you played with his hair

♡ Y’all get better at it tho

♡ Cooking dates! To try to show you that food isn’t an enemy and can bring people together :)

♡ Puts music on so y’all can jam together (Oikawa: “Oh my gosh, y/n, this is my favorite song, you’re not even rEADY to see me perform-- ; You: “Oikawa, t-the food! It’s burning!!”)

♡ Cooking dates also show that you should never leave the stove unattended

♡ Every once in a while he suggests seeking professional help. He wishes he could take away your pain and help you all his own, but he knows this is more complicated and required outside help, too

♡ Has help resources READY

♡ As well as small snacks like granola bars for you if you ever feel faint

♡ He doesn’t hesitate to confront you when he feels it’s necessary and he’s worried about your habits

♡ He handles things well, though, and often convinces you to take care of yourself more, even though he’s there to look after you

♡ Has made it his mission to help you win against your battle with insecurities

♡ Overall, he’s very caring and empathetic, hoping one day you’ll see yourself the way he sees you 💖 : strong, amazing, breathtaking, & perfectly imperfect

kuroo

♡ Occasionally, you would think about the day you broke down in front of him

♡ Your body racked with repressed whimpers as you tried to wipe the tears from your eyes and describe the recent state of your mind through choked sobs

♡ Lately, your thoughts were being especially relentless in making you feel miserable

♡ Oftentimes you’d be able to shove the negative thoughts to the back of your mind and carry on your day as usual, expertly acting as though everything in your life was going smoothly

♡ However, you found yourself fighting a losing battle against your own conscious, heavily preoccupied with thoughts of your own worthlessness

♡ And so you tried to cope

♡ But you were painfully aware of everything you felt was wrong with you

♡ You felt uncomfortable in your skin

♡ Every time you passed by your own reflection, you couldn’t help but mentally recoil at the image looking back at you

♡ Your clothes didn’t fit right

♡ Even when you opted for baggy clothes, you felt like you were taking up all the space in them

♡ Maybe it was the weight gain. You could see and feel it in your face, your arms, your stomach, your legs... everywhere

♡ You just wanted to hide away your shame

♡ Perhaps it was the dessert you allowed yourself to eat the other day. Foolish of you to think then that you wouldn’t regret it as much as you did afterwards

♡ As a consequence of those foolish actions, you made mental notes about anything and everything you ate. What it was, how much of it you had, etc

♡ Trying to restrict so that maybe you would lose some weight and come to like how you look

♡ Your obsessive thoughts of food and weight overtook your mind like a dark cloud

♡ Your favorite foods, which before would never fail to brighten your mood, taunted you with shame and guilt

♡ Exercise? Sometimes it was an activity you genuinely enjoyed. Other times, a chore that made you feel shitty or numb and reinforced your unhealthy desire to lose

♡ And you sometimes found yourself crying over your last meal, one you know you didn’t need. One you didn’t deserve

♡ And each time you released the reins on your self-control, you felt pathetic going against the vow you made to yourself

♡ At this rate, you’d never be beautiful or be happy with yourself

-You’d remain unworthy, fat, disgusting--

-But before you could continue, your story was cut off by the impact of Kuroo’s embrace

-Your surprise silenced your sobs, and you could only stare wide-eyed at the space in front of you as you felt his arms squeeze tightly around your frame

-You both sat there for a few moments on your knees, with your back lightly leaning against a wall

- “I’m sorry for the pain you’re experiencing,” he begins softly. “Thank you for sharing with me. It must’ve taken a lot for you to do that.”

-He was right. It was your first time reaching out to another person about this. It was the last thing you thought you would’ve done today

- “I want to let you know that you shouldn’t be ashamed for feeling this way. Reaching out is important and brings you the help you need to get better. I know you might not want help right now or think that these thoughts and behaviors are a problem. However, telling me about all this shows that some part of you is recognizing there’s something wrong and you can’t always handle it on your own.”

-There were many reasons you kept this to yourself. You didn’t want to bother anyone else. Your problems seemed so trivial. You worried saying them aloud would confirm your beliefs. You were scared people would see you differently. You--

-The intrusive thoughts never failed to make you feel ashamed

-However, it was oddly comforting to release the pent up emotions. To know you didn’t have to bottle up this burden anymore, and that you weren’t alone

-You were about to murmur in response when,

- “Also, you’re an idiot, y/n.”

- “Wow, thanks, as if I don’t already think that about myself,” you bit back in response

-You were about to shove him away just when he released his grip around your body and placed his hands on your shoulders

-His eyes shone with determination and a faint, inviting smile spread on his lips

- “You are the one of the single most important things in my life. I just mean you’re an idiot in the sense that you’re overevaluating one aspect to define your whole self. You’ve forgotten about all your other redeeming qualities that contribute to who you are.”

♡ “Your size, weight, shape; none of that matters. What matters is your health and happiness. Neglecting yourself in order to reach an ‘ideal’ that you’ve concluded is the answer to your self-worth is only bringing you farther away from what you truly want.”

♡ “I don’t mean to downplay any of your emotions or how significant this is to you. Your first step was to put your trust into someone else about this. That’s done. Now, I’m here to help you undergo self-evaluation and serve as encouragement on your journey to self-love and acceptance.”

♡ “I also want to remind you progress is not linear. There will be times when things are harder, and that’s okay; it’s part of the process. If you’re open to getting better in the future, I’m sure as hell going to be there every step of the way.”

♡ And with a soft peck to the forehead and another hug, he nuzzled into your neck and muttered, “I love you. And I want you to love yourself. So, please, allow me to help you through this and I guarantee that by the end of it all, it’ll have been so worth it.”

♡ Unsure what to say, you gripped his jacket tighter, buried your head in his shoulder, and muttered, “Thank you.”

♡ While the negative feelings about yourself remained afterward, you were relieved that your boyfriend was supportive and calm

♡ He treated you the same as always, teasing you over dumb things while making you feel like you stood among the highest peaks on Earth

♡ The day after, he had shown up to your house, weary-eyed and carrying his backpack

♡ “Kuroo? Why are you here? Also, why do you look so tired??”

♡ He stepped into your house with a yawn. He stretched his arms, then reached for his bag and whipped out his laptop

♡ “I stayed up a bit last night to do some research, babe! I also learned a lot about nutrition and molecular gastronomy, so I could help you come up with a meal plan that you’re okay with!”

♡ You were touched he was educating himself on how to help you

♡ But you drew the line at the science jokes-- (Kuroo: “You know you love them.” ; You: “‘Na’ I don’t.” ; Kuroo: :ooo “Did you just-- Marry me.”) (Na = sodium lol)

♡ His nutritional research helped you to learn the contents of food beyond calories; mans explains the vitamins, nutrients, amino acids, etc in them that you need and their benefits

♡ “Trout, avocados, and almonds have vitamin E, which is good for your skin! Oh, and don’t get me started on bananas. Yes, they have carbs (which your body needs anyway as a source of energy!), but POTASSIUM?? Shit’s gonna regulate your fluid balance, maintain heart health, stimulate normal muscle function, AND help your brain to communicate with the rest of your body!”

♡ ALSO cooking dates; just as chaotic (“Aw mannn, the egg exploded all over the microwave!” dont ask y it was being microwaved)

♡ Over time, he’s taken mental notes about your thoughts, feelings, triggers, etc

♡ He’s quick to pick up on your mood and will always ask you how you’re doing

♡ Tries to do something special for you on days you’re especially not feeling well, like taking you on a spontaneous date! (You: “Do you know how to ice skate?” ; Kuroo: “Uhh,,, after today, I will hopefully”)

♡ But will also opt for staying in with you and cuddling when you don’t want to go out (Kuroo: “I heard this movie is soooo bad! ...wanna watch it?”)

♡ Invited you to the beach with his team during the first week of summer

♡ You were unsure about this, since that meant going out in public, potentially with minimal clothing

♡ You initially sat on a beach towel under an umbrella, wearing the security of a T-shirt. He’d been aware of how you felt ever since he asked you to come, so he would sit with you and link an arm around your shoulder

♡ “I’m lucky I get to spend this day with you,” he’d say. “You look gorgeous. You always do. Now, I wanna see you smile and have fun. Let’s go take a dip, yeah?” He offered his hand, which you shyly took, and pulled you up

♡ Then immediately picked you up and started running to the water to get you soaking wet, and you were forced to ditch the heavy, waterlogged shirt

♡ However, you silently thanked him for his sweet words, making you feel secure enough to just forget your worries and enjoy the warm sun and cool water

♡ He also tries his best to lessen your anxieties over food and often shares/eats meals with you

♡ Reminds you everyday how much you’re worth to him and that there’s nothing about you that needs to change

♡ This sweet, protective, n smart boi will treat you how you deserve. It’s a guarantee he’ll be there through thick and thin, and he’s excited for the day you realize you’re just as amazing as he knows you are 💕

a/n: oop this was rlly long lol mb, i just may or may not personally know a bit about this so i went oFF

also neded to some som silly n fluff bc we all need dat

also, these r like kinda hc’s ?? but also a deconstructed oneshot/scenario?? bc they provide some rly brief bg story? one from more of the character perspective while the other more on y/n before we get to the hc’s about how he treats y/n. how everyone struggles w body image is different n i wanted to portray a bit of what it felt like and how it could manifest in ppl’s behaviors/thoughts. however, this is not to say that everyone feels exactly like this. what i wrote only represents a fraction of it all.

by providing some sort of bg i hope im not making u feel like this isnt u or that u cant relate, pls lmk if i need to change anything to make it right for u <3 ok now im actually done sry long author’s note rfguhofe this is just rlly important to me y’all , stay safe n take care, much luv for u <3

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu reader insert #haikyuu x reader angst #oikawa x reader #kuroo x reader #oikawa tooru #kuroo tetsurou #haikyuu x reader fluff #tw

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