#sorry for the book but I needed to address these as best as I can | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

onlyjaeyun · 9 months

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𝐏𝐎𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐍 – 𝟐𝟑

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄: 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲

⤲ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐋𝐞𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

⤲ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞!𝐀𝐔, 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝!𝐀𝐔, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭

⤲ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟕.𝟓𝐤 (not proofread yet i got hungry, sorry)

⤲ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞, 𝐚 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞. 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬, 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨'𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧...

"The actual love of my life."

The sound of your best friend's voice sends literal chills of excitement over your body and for the first time in a total of three weeks you feel like your lungs fill with oxygen again.

You still have to get used to not spending every single second with your better half after doing just that for the past twelve years and as you wrap your arms around his strong body, you let out a deep sigh.

Jungwon's warmth, his familiar scent and calming energy embrace you within seconds, easing your nervous soul in ways only he manages to do it.

You've never associated anyone with an actual home except your brother, until you met your best friend all these years ago. You still remember the way he'd make you laugh in the worst moments of your life as he wiped away every single tear and as usual, healed injuries he hadn't caused.

"Now now", he sighs and takes your face into his big, delicate hands, his attentive eyes roaming your face and you know he can read you like an open book. It's always been as easy for him as it's been for his older cousin and the ability's definitely a blessing and a curse in one.

"Let's save those conversations for the next few days, yeah? Today's going to be a good day and you're going to enjoy yourself or I'll have to throat punch you", Won's words leave no room for discussion and you can't help but chuckle at his threat, knowing he'd actually pull through with it if he had to.

Once the two of you get comfortable in Heeseung's car, you catch up on the past week, since neither one of you has had the time to actually talk on the phone, both of you covering extra shifts to get the same week off and enjoy your time together.

For some reason, neither one of you seems to dare mention a certain someone and you wonder what Jungwon talked to Heeseung about, only to get rid of those thoughts as quickly as they appeared.

The drive to your brother's apartment is calm and everything you needed right before a nervewrecking night like this one and all of a sudden you find yourself dreading the upcoming few hours.

Just as you two step out of the elevator, you literally run into the strong chest of someone you recognize by his scent before you even get to see his face.

"Wonie!" Heeseung's deep voice fills your head in the most agonisingly perfect way possible, taking over yet another one of your senses and with your bottom lip firmly tugged between your teeth you take a step back and watch the two cousins greet each other.

"Where are you going? The party's literally about to start", Jungwon asks and definitely doesn't miss the way the older one's eyes find their way to you and back within a second.

You're just glad neither one of you is brave enough to actually address it.

"Jong's too drunk to cook and everyone got here straight from work. Yuna almost punched Yun in the face because he told her to relax, so I'm gonna go and get something to eat. Delivery would take too long."

Heeseung wants to look at you, he's dying to take in the sight of your perfect body in that cute little dress, save it in his memories for all those times he's by himself and has nothing but his thoughts to handle, but he doesn't.

Not even a single time does his gaze shift to you, his eyes remaining on his cousin's face as he hears his heart breaking into thousands of pieces in a far distance.

"My baby's going to join you", Jungwon suddenly says and with wide eyes you lift your head and stare at him, trying to understand what the fuck he just said.

"Huh? No, it's okay", Seung says and for some reason there's a quick flash of irritation in his eyes, but you can't help and be sure it's mostly because of your best friend's choice of words to address you.

"You'll have lots to carry", Won states calmly, "you've got like ten hungry mouths to feed and my presence will distract them long enough."

"What about my presence?" You say and place a hand on your hips, looking him up and down only to catch a gentle smile of amusement on Heeseung's pretty lips, which however slips away rather quickly once he realises.

"You'd be too much of a distraction to the boys, especially in a dress like that." Jungwon's shameless flirting doesn't even faze you anymore and with a roll of your eyes, you allow yourself to peak a glance at Heeseung, who – again – doesn't seem fond of his cousin's behavior towards you.

"It's okay, seriously", Seung says and you can tell it's directed towards you, yet he still refuses to make eye contact, which definitely irritates you in a way you weren't expecting it.

If he's going to act the way he does, the least he could do is have the audacity to meet your eyes when he's talking to you once in a while.

So, without an ounce of hesitation, you lift your head to look at his face, subconsciously enjoying the definition of his features and how everything about him seems perfect.

"Don't be a baby now", Jungwon rolls his eyes and reaches for his suitcase, pushing it away from the three of you before he follows and quickly lifts his hand to make you stay.

"Whatever you're ordering, please get a less spicy version as well, not everyone has a tongue of steel like you." Those are your best friend's last words before he makes his way to the front door of your brother's apartment and with a soft sigh, you turn around and press the button of the elevator.

The following few minutes are filled with nothing but silence, since neither one of you dares to start a conversation. You know he'd feel uncomfortable and quickly bring it to an end so he can act like you don't exist to ease his conscience, which is why you'd rather sit there and say absolutely nothing at all instead.

Once you two make it to the boys' favorite restaurant, you thank Heeseung for holding the door open for you, a big smile suddenly appearing on your face as you spot the cute waiter and owner's som at the register.

"Hey, there!" You lift your hand to wave at him, Heeseung's eyes attentively watching your every movement and just like Jake had told you to, you decide to play a card you usually would have been too scared to even think of, but this time it's actually happening and not just in your instagram stories.

"Oh, goodness! There she is, the prettiest girl in town!" The young man shoots you a charming smile, runs his hand through his dark hair and even winks at you, yet not giving an ounce of his attention to the tall male mext to you.

"Don't get me all flustered now, you know I tip too well if you do!"

Both of you erupt in laughter, much to Heeseung's dislike and with his hands balled into fists to the point where his rings actually hurt him, he just clears his throat and finally manages to make the man avert his gaze from you.

Once he's made sure to get everyone's order and a few side dishes, the man disappears for a quick moment and you can feel the tension between the two of you.

"Close, huh?" The sudden question takes you aback and with furrowed brows you look at him in annoyance.

"Too lazy to form a complete sentence..huh?"

You hate yourself for being so irritated by his behavior because you've been playing with his patience all week, thanks to Jaeyun. You genuinely didn't think it'd work, yet from what your brother's friend has been telling you, your little game of provocation has worked just as you had planned and Heeseung's been going crazy just because of your instagram stories.

But you've decided not to care too much, knowing he won't act on it anyway so there's absolutely no point in considering if it's too much or not.

"Here you go, this is the change and a little something for you guys while you wait", Siwoo says with a bright smile, his pretty eyes again, remaining on you only and you hate how happy the sudden tension in Heeseung's posture makes you.

"Thank you, handsome", you reply with a charming smirk, carefully watching your life long crush roll his eyes in annoyance in your peripheral sight, while you're barely holding back a chuckle.

You quickly take one of the tooth picks and take a little rice cakes into your louth, humming softly when the perfect sauce hits your taste buds and you can feel both men's eyes on you, yet only caring about the one's beside you.

"I've been meaning to ask for your instagram", Siwoo suddenly says and pulls out his phone, handing it to you with a hopeful expression in his pretty eyes.

"Oh, su-", but before you can even think about reaching for the device in his hand, an arm suddenly appears in front of you, pushing him away casually but firmly.

"She has a boyfriend", Heeseung suddenly hisses and you feel heat boiling in your lower tummy, the possessiveness in his voice sending shivers down your body and with an inaudible gasp you look at him in shock.

"Oh? So, you and Jaeyun are dating? I always thought he was just joking, I'm sorry", Siwoo mumbles and you hate how Heeseung's reaction has him embarrassed as he puts his phone away again and smiles awkwardly.

"I do not have a boyfriend", you quickly reply and push Seung's arm away, holding your hand out for the young man to give you the device again, "Jaeyun and I are just friends."

You emphasise the last two words while looking into Heeseung's eyes with a fire he's never seen before and for some reason the urge to just bend you over and fuck you into oblivion has never been as intense as in this particular moment.

He hates the way his blood is boiling and he can't do anything but watch as you type in your instagram user name into the search bar, quickly tapping the follow button and give Siwoo his phone back while shooting him one of your prettiest smiles.

Heeseung knows he has absolutely no right to feel jealous or angry, but these past two weeks he's had to tap through your stories and listen to Jaeyun tell him all the details about your new lover, so he has absolutely no energy left to fight these thoughts and emotions.

This is what he's always wanted. For you to move on with a good guy who eats you out and takes you on cute little dates, something your new fucker has apparently been doing a lot, according to Jaeyun.

He hates his best friend for being so open about your new relationship despite his knowledge of Heeseung's feelings, but there's no point in blaming anyone but himself so all he can do is let out a loud sigh and accept his defeat.

Once Heeseung thanks the kind employee for helping him load all the bags full of hot food into the little box in the back of his car, you both say your farewells and head back to your brother's shared apartment, yet again – not a single word being exchanged throughout the whole drive.

But as you turn to the side to reach for the door handle, Heeseung doesn't immediately unlock the door itself, a loud sigh following his lack of movement.

"Why are you doing this to me, princess?"

His choice of words and way to address you, as well as his tired tone and the lack of eye contact sends a jolt of sadness through your body. You hate how much he's fighting his feelings but you have no choice but to push him if you really want him.

"What exactly am I doing – especially to you?" You spit back, sudden anger and frustration taking over the place of your sadness and with your hands balled into fists you turn your body to face the love of your life again.

"Don't act like you don't know how much watching you with other men hurts me", Heeseung growls and throws his head back against the seat's headrest, his hands tightly holding onto the steering wheel and you can't help but bite your bottom lip at the sight of his pretty, ring adorned fingers.

"Yeah, right", you reply and don't even try to hide the annoyance in your voice, "you act like I was the one who pushed you away every time. I get to do whatever I want with whoever I want to do it with."

And those words flip a switch in Heeseung's brain, mental images of your pleasure contorted face with a faceless guy between your legs, driving him absolutely insane within a few seconds. He's never felt as jealous as he does right now and he actually watched your boyfriends kiss you multiple times in the past.

The fact you're so open about your intimacy with other men has his heart skipping a few beats, all while he tries to breathe in as much air as possible, only for his lungs to fail to take it all in.

"Oh, so you're going to go and fuck some lame ass loser because you feel like it? Come on, why don't you go back and let that ugly bitch from the restaurant take you, hm? You love wasting your time after all."

You don't expect his sudden outburst and as soon as your brain processes his words, you feel heat pooling in your lowe tummy as your cunt clenches in despair. He's not being loud or aggressive, yet there's nothing but raw jealousy burning in his usually so soft eyes and you hate how much you're enjoying it.

"Maybe I'll do just that", you hiss and can barely hold back the look of surprise on your own face in response to your words.

You've never been one to openly talk to your brother or his friends about anything related to intimacy, but you've had enough of Heeseung's games.

"And what about your little boyfriend, huh? The one you post and talk about all the time? Think he's gonna like hearing you talk like this?"

At this point you have absolutely no ounce of patience left, and neither does he.

You attentively watch the way a deep shade of pink starts covering the soft skin of his cheeks, his eyes filled with anger and jealousy as he tries his best not to yell at you. And for some reason you feel relieved to see a reaction as intense as this one from the man you've been head over heels for all this time.

In a twisted way it's helped you finally get rid of all those thoughts dismissing any possible feelings of his towards you.

"There is no fucking boyfriend!" You finally raise your voice as your patience finally finds its absolute limit and with wide eyes you look at Heeseung and try to calm yourself down.

"Oh, so go ahead then! Let's see if that fucker can even last longer than a fucking minute and then you can come and brag to me about it", Seung's words are harsh and dirty, they make you feel uncomfortable yet for the first time in your life you don't even think about stepping away from a confrontation.

For a short moment you're surprised at your boldness, not used to being like this to anyone, especially someone with an aura as intimidating as Lee Heeseung.

"Maybe I'll do just that, Heeseung." You take a deep breath and roll your eyes, turning your head to hide just how much you love this side of him to avoid a sudden turn of atmosphere.

"He looks like he eats it well, too, doesn't he? Once he's done with me I'll make sure to let you know if I've finally found someone who can eat-", but yet again, you don't get to finish your sentence as Heeseung quickly reaches over to cover your mouth with his ring clad hand.

His touch isn't rough or harsh, not even firm, it's just a way of him asking you to be quiet as your words get the best of him and with big, glossy eyes you watch the way he pushes his forehead against the steering wheel and lets out a loud sigh.

He sounds defeated, tired and just done.

But you don't get to feel bad for what you said, nor does he give the time to pity him.

"Stop", he whispers and tightens his grip on his own thigh, yet not moving an inch when it comes to the one on your face, "I can't do this anymore."

You sigh and reach for his hand, gently wrapping your fingers around his and placing it in your lap before you turn to look at him.

"Why are you fighting it so much, Seungie?"

The question lingers in the air for a good minute and if it wasn't for the feeling of your skin against his, Heeseung would have stayed quiet for another thirty.

"I promised to never cross this line", he finally admits after losing the battle against himself for the nth time within a week, "I fucking promised."

Heeseung was doing so, so well hiding his feelings for you all this time, which is probably the reason why he would have never expected your close presence to make it so much harder than before.

Knowing you're this close to him physically and he still has to pretend like he's not going absolutely crazy over you is what has driven him into absolute insanity and at this point he's just exhausted.

He's had to watch you live your life without him for years, pretending he didn't care and be content with being as distant as he's always been but after realising how close the two of you could have been if it wasn't for his stupidity, he's been regretting most of the things he's done and wished he could have done it differently.

At this point he's just glad he somehow gets to stay in contact with you, talking to you becoming a privilege and treasure he could not take for granted even if he wanted to and after leaving his apartment for the fifth time within a week to make you feel as comfortable with the lack of his presence, he's simply had enough.

"Look at me, please", you whisper and patiently wait for him to meet your eyes, knowing you'll feel more comfortable and less tense if it was for that, "stop being so hard on yourself. It's breaking my heart to see you like this."

Just a few minutes ago you were yelling at him about having another man eat you out and now you're on the complete opposite side of the road. If it wasn't for the fast pace of your heartbeat, the sudden change in air would have given you a good whiplash.

"I want you", Heeseung suddenly whispers, allowing himself to indulge in the sweetness of your tone and the softness of your touch, calming his nerves in a way he's never experienced it before until you came into his life.

"I've never wanted anyone as much as I want you, princess." His confession immediately pushes you to the furthest edges of your self control and as a thick veil of tears blurs your sight, you can't help but swallow them down again. His tone is genuine and you know he's being honest, but from the way his eyes are looking everywhere but your own, you know he's about to crash every bit of hope you had manage to build up these past few days.

"I just can't break this promise, Sunghoon is my everything", yet again, you find yourself despising their bond, when everyone else in this world would probably kill to have a friendship like theirs. Neither one of them is at fault, and you know that, yet you can't stop yourself from being angry at life for putting the both of you in a situation like this one.

And as you hold Heeseung's hand, something you've been dreaming of for years, taking in the sight of his perfect face and those soft eyes you've been craving for so long, your heart finally manages to overpower your mind and before you can overthink them, you find yourself mumbling the words "and what about me? What am I to you?"

"My most precious treasure."

Heeseung doesn't miss a single beat as if he felt your question in his heart before you had the chance to voice it out to him. He's been through these questions so many times already, at this point he's sure he's got an answer ready for every single one of them.

Maybe it's the raw honesty in his voice or the actual pain in his eyes, yet as soon as you process his sweet confession, you feel the tears streaming down your cheeks, leaving a burning trail on your skin and doubling the knot in your throat in its size.

Heeseung has seen you cry before, but this time he knows he's got the chance to actually comfort you and for a minute, everything and everyone becomes irrelevant. Nobody and nothing matters as he pushes his seat back and reaches for your hand, pulling you into his lap and wrapping his arms around your body.

Neither one of you remembers the last time you two hugged each other. Both of you turning too shy and awkward once puberty had come around and yet as soon as you indulge in his embrace, the comforting feeling of familiarity overwhelms you.

"My sweet souled angel girl", Heeseung whispers and caresses your back, his heart breaking a little more with each one of your sobs, but for some reason he's glad you finally know how he feels about you.

"Why is life so unfair", you mumble against the soft skin of his neck, breathing in his calming scent because you know you won't get another opportunity like this.

"I'm sorry, Baby, I wish I could give you an answer but I'm still trying to figure it out myself. Always wondered why you had to fall for me and not one of the other boys", he sighs and pushes a strand of hair out of your face, taking it into his big hands and nudging his nose against yours.

"Life would have been so much easier for you if you fell for basically anyone else." You know he's not doing it on purpose, yet after talking to both Jake and Jungwon about it for so long, you can't help but actually hear the self destruction in his words, the conviction of his presence and place in your life being nothing but a burden to you wavering in each one of them.

"It's unfair but I wouldn't want it any other way", you quickly say and look up at him with teary eyes. You need him to understand just how much he means to you.

"You're the reason my standards have always been so high", you chuckle and nibble on your bottom lip as soon as Heeseung looks at you with surprise grazing his perfect features.

"You're so fucking cute", he sighs in response and cocks his head to the side, his eyes slowly roaming your face to land on your parted lips and for the first time this evening you regret your choice of outfit. Your skirt has already ridden up your thighs and you can feel the zipper of his jeans against your sensitive cunt, yet still afraid he might feel the growth of the wet patch in the center of your panties.

"Don't look at me like that, princess", he suddenly grunts and tries to adjust in his seat, "we can't do this."

You don't say anything. You don't even dare to move. There's something heavy lingering in the air, a sexual tension neither one of you had ever had the guts to acknowledge, yet now happened to be the reason for the lack of oxygen in your lungs.

"Then we won't do anything", you whisper and lean further into his gentle touch, loving the way his other hand is holding onto your hips with such vigor, you have to physically hold back a whimper.

"Just one kiss", Seung's voice is a mere whisper, barely audible, "and then I'm gonna let you go again."

"Just one kiss", you reply in the same way, gasping for air as his hot breath fans your sensitive skin, "and then I won't ever let go of you again."

Neither one of you dares to make the next, important move. Both just taking in the presence of the other as you lose yourself in all those hidden feelings and urges, until you've finally had enough.

Without missing another beat you lean forward and press your lips against Heeseung's, almost instantly eliciting a deep grunt from his throat before he moves even closer into your touch.

The kiss is calm and soft at first, Heeseung obviously hesitating in hopes of maintaining his composure, only for you to break every single wall he had built throughout the years with one whimper.

He's been dreaming about hearing your noises for so long, there's absolutely no way he's going to back away now that he finally got a taste.

You can feel the bulge in his jeans growing underneath the light movements of your hips as you kiss him deeper, harder, hungrier. The need to lose yourself in the sweet taste of the man you've wanted for so long finally taking over every single one of your senses and with a soft sigh your hands find home in his dark hair.

Heeseung on the other hand has lost every bit of self control and if it wasn't for the current situation you're in, he would have made his way with you in the backseat with absolutely no hesitation. He knew he wasn't going to push you away for a third time and now that he's actually wrapping his lips around your tongue, he knows he's absolutely fucked.

With each time your lips meet, his hot muscle grazing yours and exploring your mouth in ways you've been craving for way too long you lose yourself even more in the sweet haze of pleasure, subconsciously rocking your hips against his to get rid of the pressure on your cunt.

"Princess", Heeseung suddenly whispers completely out of breath, his attention remaining on you and you're surprised just how heavy the both of you are breathing, "your phone is ringing."

You forcefully swallow the last few noises of pleasure before you reach for your phone on the passenger seat, ice cold shivers running down your spine at the sight of your brother's contact picture and name on your display.

"Where the fuck are you two?" Hoon slurs, not even trying to hide the few drinks he's had since he had come home a few hours ago.

You look at Heeseung with heavy eyes and your hand on the base of his neck, biting back a whimper when he moves it a little further up to wrap around his own throat, his gaze never once leaving yours.

"We just parked the car", you say and try to sound as unaffected as possible, "two more minutes."

"Just hurry the fuck up, Yuna's going to fist fight Jaeyun if she has to listen to another one of his stupid jokes without anything in her stomach."

You chuckle nervously in response to your brother's words but can't get yourself to verbally answer him, just ending the call and slowly climbing off of Heeseung's lap and back into the passenger seat.

The air and tension in the car is filled with arousal, so heavy, you feel like there's barely any oxygen left as your head starts spinning.

"Are we going to talk about this?" You ask softly, not brave enough to lift your head and look at him, only for Heeseung to place his hand on your hand and letting out a soft hum of approval.

"Yes, Baby", he replies quickly and you stare at him with big eyes, surprised at his sudden openness, "but let's get this party over with first, yeah?"

All you can do is nod and kiss the palm of his hand on your cheek, his lips stretching into a soft, honest smile before he lets out a sigh and gets out of his car rather quickly.

As soon as you two step through the door, both Jaeyun and Jungwon are attentively watching you and with your brows furrowed in confusion you just roll your eyes and make your way past them. Neither one of them manage to get a minute with you to themselves as you help Heeseung and the girls with the food and since both of them haven't eaten in several hours, they quickly shift their attention to the more important things.

Once everyone is seated none of you bothers to even bring a toast to the birthday boy, who's currently busy drinking the little cocktail Ryujin had mixed him up and you can't help but feel glad because if anyone was sober enough, they would have felt the tension between you and Heeseung withou any difficulties.

Sitting across from each other and right next to your brother definitely doesn't contribute to it, since your gazes meet more than you would have expected but every single time Heeseung looks at you, he wipes his thumb over his bottom lip and lets his eyes fall to yours, casually letting you know of his unspoken thoughts.

By the time everyone's well fed and back to giggles and loud laughter again, you feel yourself easing up a little as well and actually manage to shift your attention away from your brother's best friend for a little longer, focusing on your girls instead. Since the three of you haven't had much time to chat the way you used to, both Ryujin and Yuna have quite a few stories to tell as you clean up the kitchen knowing the boys are busy enjoying the night in the living room. However, it doesn't take long for Wonie to join you and soon you find yourself holding your belly from how hard you've been laughing at your friends' comments.

Every now and then you catch yourself letting out a sigh of relief and gratitude, since this has been the first time in weeks you feel like you're actually living a moment instead of just making your way through a night and as much as you want to hate the reason behind it, you can't.

After about an hour of seperation, Jungwon forces the three of you to join them in the living room again and after almost brutally pushing the girls into the hallway of your brother's apartment, you're adamant to finish the rest of the dishes as quick as possible.

But as soon as your friends stumble through the door, Heeseung's eyes are nervously looking for you, yearning for your presence even worse than before and every time he looked at you after the kiss, his head has been telling him just how badly he fucked up because letting go of you and staying away seems absolutely impossible now.

He doesn't say a single word, just waits for everyone to agree on what Cartoon to watch for their drinking game and sneakily making his way out of his spot once the argument becomes more serious.

You don't even give him the chance to watch you, as his presence creeps up on you before you can even see him in your peripheral vision and quickly shoot him a soft smile.

"Is everything okay?" You ask and reach for the towel to dry the last few dishes, only for Heeseung to take them out of your grip and place them on the kitchen counter again.

With a quick glance to the door to make sure no one followed him, he reaches for your face and pulls you closer to his strong body, his hands finding home on your hips as he buried his nose in your neck and inhales your sweet scent the way you did it with his.

"We can do the rest tomorrow, princess", he whispers into your ear, tightening his grip and gently groping the soft flesh, "I want you as close to me as possible from now on."

Your thighs basically start pressing together almost automatically in response to his words, the sudden attention nothing you're used to and you genuinely hope he can't tell just how needy you are.

Of course Lee Heeseung has always read you like an open book but he's never seen you in a state of arousal, so maybe these are the first pages he still has to figure out.

"Stop doing that", he suddenly presses through gritted teeth and nudges his knee in between your thighs, "I've been trying everything in the books to get rid of my fucking boner for the past two hours and knowing you've probably ruined your panties just makes me want to bury my face in that pretty cunt and finally take what's mine."

Speechless.

There's not a single word left in your vocabulary to describe what his words have managed to erupt inside of you and for a whole minute you're convinced the whole world has come to a stop for you to actually process them.

For some reason you're not even shocked, since you always kinda knew Heeseung's got a talent when it comes to charming his way into one's heart, yet you've never actively heard him something so lewd, so forbidden that you simply don't know what to say.

Your whole body is on fire; there's not one part of your limbs not burning like someone threw you into actual flames and with wide eyes you try not to fall to your knees.

"Are you thinking about all the ways I'm going to make you cum, pretty girl? You seem so thoughtful", Heeseung chuckles and casually leans against the wall behind him, his eyes roaming your body and taking in every single one of your reactions. He's always loved the effect he's had on you, yet now it's finally time for him to take advantage of your body's sweet response to him and just the way you're looking at him through glossy eyes is enough for him to never stop.

But all of a sudden there's a light shift in your thoughts. He can tell by the way you nervously start nibbling on your bottom lip that he isn't your only focus anymore and with another quick glance to the door he places his hand on your cheek and looks at you worriedly.

"Too much, Baby? Want me to go a little easier on you?"

You quickly shake your head no, since you definitely don't want him to stop or take it easier, his pace and everything he's been doing more than just perfect and with a soft sigh you try to get rid of those stupid demons, only to realise there's no point in hiding them from Lee Heeseung.

"What's wrong then, princess?"

"I've never –", you take a deep breath and try to compose yourself, but still giving you the time you need to find the right words simce you've never actually told anyone about this, not even your closest friends.

Heeseung doesn't really know what to expect since he's stopped hoping to be any of your firsts the day he saw you get quite handsy with your first boyfriend during a friendsmas dinner back in his last year of High School, which is probably why remaining quiet and just waiting for you to talk is his best option instead of getting his hopes too high up.

It's not like he cares if you're experienced or not, nothing is going to change how much he wants you anyway.

"Nobody has ever made me cum and I don't want you to be disappointed when it doesn't work out the way you've imagined."

For some reason, you don't feel as ashamed about it with Heeseung the way you usually did when it came to your previous boyfriends and the fact you have yet to talk about the whole moment in his car from a few hours ago, yet are already discussing details like this definitely seems a little rushed.

Yet it doesn't feel like you're going too fast. There's just too much pent up frustration for the both of you to actually take it slower and you're pretty sure (and hopeful) Heeseung feels the same way.

You carefully watch his reaction and nervously fumble with the rings on your fingers, the knot in your throat growing bigger and bigger the longer it takes for him to reply to your statement. You never thought it'd come to this point with Lee Heeseung, of all people, no matter how much you've been dreaming about it, so you simply can't help but feel even more self conscious about it.

It's not like you've never had an orgasm before, you've got a fair collection of toys to do just that, after all. It's mostly about your lack of satisfaction provided by someone else, which is why you've stopped asking for basically anything after about three months into your second relationship. Most of the time you liked them enough to give them head or let them fuck your fist, yet never trusting them enough to take it to another level, which you're definitely not ready to tell Heeseung just yet.

"I'm sorry", you whisper quickly when you realise he still hasn't said anything, the guilt of ruining his fantasies overtaking you in an instant and without hesitation you try your best to compensate for your lacking, "but I wasn't expecting anything from you anyway, I promise. I could just uhm do something for you and–"

"Princess."

As soon as the petname falls past his lips in the form of a whisper you shut your mouth almost instinctively, yet never once looking away from his face. You're still too shy to meet his gaze but try to focus on his pretty lips instead.

"First of all", he sighs and pushes your chin up with two of his fingers, "don't ever apologize for something like this, do you hear me?" All you can do is nod softly, still too flustered to respond and the possibility of someone walking in on you two so close to each other like this definitely contributes to the thrumming in your throat.

"We're going to talk about this when it's not as risky but I just want you to know you could never, ever disappoint me about these things. You're everything I've ever dreamed of and nothing is going to change that, yeah?"

It's definitely the way he talks and looks at you, which easily calms down all of those anxious thoughts in your brain and for the first time in yesrs you find yourself believing someone, almost instantly falling in love with the silence in your head.

"Good girl", Heeseung mumbles, doesn't even think about it for another second only to turn around and open the fridge to prepare Sunghoon's birthday cake, knowing one of them might storm into the kitchen any minute wondering what you two have been doing for so long.

And as he looks around for the decoration bag, you can't even blink as your body tries its best to cool down from the heat those two words of praise have sent through your system.

You've always had a thing about being praised, realising it's most likely caused by your lack of attention and validation in your childhood and confirmed by your choice of romance books, but none of your romantic interests had ever cared enough to indulge in it.

You still remember your most recent boyfriend trying his best to compliment you, only to use the words "hot" and "sexy" four times in a row and making it even worse for you to the point where you had accepted your fate, yet again.

Knowing Heeseung seems more than just casual about it to the point where he doesn't realise the effects it has on you sends jolts of excitement and anticipation through your body in the best way possible.

However, just as he'd expected, Jongseong stumbles through the kitchen door with flushed cheeks and messy hair, questioning the two of you only to place a finger over his pursed lips when he spots your brother's birthday cake.

It doesn't take long for them to absolutely destroy it all, not even bothering to plate each piece but instead everyone digging into it with some kind of utensil they found on the table, Jake not even giving enough fucks to find the second chopstick to his first one.

You have no idea how much time passes as you start playing random games and everyone tells a story about Sunghoon to honor him, most of you losing it as soon as Heeseung starts to speak because he never fails to bring out the best ones.

The girls are the first ones to leave, Heeseung insisting on driving them home with the boys, despite them living in an apartment across the street. By the time he's made sure everyone got home safe it's way past midnight and to his surprise mostly everything is cleaned up, yet none of you are where you're supposed to be.

It's not until he hears your chuckles through Sunghoon's door that he lets out a sigh of relief when he realizes you're still here.

"This was the best birthday ever", your brother slurs, his words barely coherent at this point and usually you'd be a little stricter about his drinking habits, but this time you just don't have the heart to actually say anything, "you and Seung are my favorite people in this world. I'm so grateful to have you both."

For some reason you feel a sting reach your heart as you thread your fingers through Sunghoon's hair, taking in the sight of his features and reminding yourself of his importance in your life, yet not feeling guilty enough to turn your head and look at Heeseung, who's standing in the doorway, just watching the three of you, with genuine adoration.

"Shut the fuck up."

Your best friends whine quickly ruins your oscar worthy moment and with a roll of your eyes you give Jungwon a kiss on the forehead and finally make your way to where Heeseung's standing.

"I'm–"

But for the third time within a few hours, Heeseungs cuts you off by wrapping his arms around your shoulder and pulling you into his embrace, just holding you close to his chest.

"Today's been a long one, how about we leave the talking for another day, yeah? I'm here, princess", he whispers and gives you a quick kiss, afraid one of the boys might still be up, "and I promise I'm not going anywhere anymore. Now go and get comfortable in my bed, I'll take the couch."

When you bury your face in Heeseung's pillow, you can't help the big smile on your lips and your brain finally lets you relive every single moment between the two of you, even showing you the mercy of pushing every bit of guilt to the back of your brain until you can barely keep your eyes open anymore, hoping you're not the only one falling asleep with butterflies in your tummy tonight.

And if Heeseung had the heart to let you know that this is the first time in weeks he's not actually crying himself to sleep, he definitely would because he can't even remember the last time he placed his head on a pillow with a genuine smile on his lips.

For a moment he can't help but wonder how something that feels so right, could ever be so wrong, only to throw all of those thoughts out of his head before they can take away this newfound feeling of hope filling his chest.

Maybe life isn't as bad as he thought.

← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 — 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

(A/N: and here it is 💀 i know you guys had quite high expectations of this and i'm sorry for deciding against a proper smut scene last minute but i feel like it wouldn't have matched the vibe 😭 thank you ao much for all the love, you guys are the best. i love you sm 🥺🧸 feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!🩷🧸)

TAGLIST CLOSED: @soonigiri @thvhannie @enhaz1 @kpoprhia @abrazosolorcereza @deobitifull @mixtape-racha @certifiedmoa @jungwon-xo @hoonieluv @enhamysunshines @jaehoonii @pussyslayerhd @ineedsomezzz @neocockthotology @heerinnie @onionzzzs @hee-pster @3amstarlight @xxxxrvexxxx @primroselover @mimikittysblog @iea-tsand @lhspeachie @xiaoderrrr @viagumi @smg-valeria @kells5595 @heeseunghee7 @xrvrqs @ddazed-lhs @heebrry @fakeuwus @dammit-jjk @ivyannemarie @thekinkpopstandsforkrackheads @s00buwu

#enhypen social media au #enhypen writers #enhypen x reader #lee heeseung x reader #heeseung social media au #enhypen smut #enhypen fluff #enhypen angst #heeseung smut #heeseung

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demilypyro · 10 months

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Okay since this doesn't seem to want to go away here's me addressing every single "allegation" that I've heard about. I hope to have at least given a good explanation where the horrible things being said about me came from, and why I consider them either just totally not true or badly misconstrued. Some of my friends have recommended I don't say anything at all, but I've always preferred openness and honesty, so I hope that's appreciated.

I understand that some people will still dislike me even though the things being said about me are not true. That's fine. I don't need everyone to like me, but it's when I'm being consistently harassed and lied about that it interferes with my mental health and ability to work. So I'm gonna try and end things with this.

"She's racist"

From what I can tell this is about one time when I said I keep my interest in anime to myself around new people. I do this because showing you're a Huge Fucking Nerd right off the bat can make a bad impression. I could have said the same thing about Star Trek or comic books, I just happened to be talking about anime in that moment. Someone seems to have misconstrued this as me finding Japanese culture something shameful and lesser than other cultures?... Which I would call a total willful misinterpretation. The rest of this seems to stem just from being Dutch, because the Netherlands is a country that has a problem with xenophobia. This is true, but uhhh I'm mixed myself so I'm pretty well aware of that, and I obviously don't support our infamous "blackface holiday." Just because I live here doesn't mean I agree with everything this country does, be that historically or in the modern day.

"She's friends with racists/misogynists/transphobes"

The only thing I can guess this is about is when I was mutuals with a user called porko-rosso at least 5 years ago and didn't really believe it when people told me they were a bigot. I haven't interacted with this user in over 4 years but people still claim we're like best friends, which was never true in the first place, we just knew a lot of the same people. Most of the resentment from the people who repeatedly spread these rumours about me seems to have started here. So for the record: no, I am not friends with any racists, misogynists or transphobes.

"She thinks she's better than other trans women because she passes better"

This is just not true. This idea seems to pop up just whenever I post about enjoying the benefits of HRT or surgery, but most recently this was misconstrued from a post where I said being trans is about being yourself as much as possible. Since this was in response to someone saying that me trying to pass is "erasing my identity", people thought I meant trying to pass is the same as being good at being trans, which was not what I meant, but some people didn't seem to want to believe me when I clarified. My apologies for the misunderstanding I guess, but that's all it was. So no, I do not hate people who don't pass as well as I do, nor do I think all trans people should be transitioning medically, and I resent the implication.

"She has a secret discord server where she makes fun of pictures of other trans women and calls them slurs"

I had absolutely no clue what this was about when I first heard it. I was sent screenshots that supposedly prove this but all they show is me being rude about someone's appearance one time in january of 2022. I actually thought these were faked because I don't remember this happening and the things said confused me, but one of my friends says she found it was in her server, where she had showed a picture of someone and asked everyone present (mostly other trans women) if they were hot. Apparently I did not think they were hot. So yes, I did insult someone's appearance back in january 2022, but it was an isolated incident. Frankly even I find my remarks in these screenshots distasteful, I don't know what I was on when I wrote that stuff. I'm sorry to that person specifically. What I said has weighed heavily on me and I apologize for it. It's not something I approve of, and don't intend to repeat that mistake. Still, to say it means I hate trans women and I love to make fun of them in my secret discord server and call them slurs is just... a super-villain level of exaggeration. I didn't even know about the word that was named as an example. It's not true.

"She's often rude"

I can't deny this one. Autism gonna autism. I've seen many therapists, doctors, experts, what have you, to try and help me with this, but it seems my particular brand of autistic in combination with the cultural differences between mine and other countries just really often ends with my foot in my mouth when I speak English. I apologize! I have never meant to personally offend anyone. It just keeps happening and I can't stop it from happening.

If after reading all this, you still consider me bad enough to hate my guts, I can't stop you, but I wanted to have at least had my say. I swear that everything in this post is the honest truth as I understand it, and that I've never acted with purposeful malicious intent.

#and yes feel free to reblog and share #demilypyro #demily pyro

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yn-bishop · 9 months

Text

Highschool Lovers

Taylor Swift x Fem!Reader

"And lastly, Taylor and Y/n" the English teacher announces as she finishes pairing up the class. Y/n's cheeks go bright red before looking down at her desk. In the 3 years that they have gone high school together, Y/n has developed a big crush on the taller girl. What she doesn't know is that Taylor feels the same. Although they have never spoken to each other, they exchange soft smiles in the halls and each of their friends constantly tease them about it. Y/n looks up when she hears footsteps coming towards her and freezes when she sees the blonde ahead of her.

"Uh, hi! So.. about the project.. did you wanna meet at mine or yours?" The taller girl stammers out with red cheeks.

"Oh, hello! Does yours sound ok? My place is being renovated so it's kinda a mess" Y/n replies with a smile.

"Yeah, sounds great! Could I get your number? Just so I can send you my address of course!" Taylor continues to stutter. Y/n smiles again before writing down her phone number on a piece of spare paper and handing it to the blonde.

"Great! Does 5 work for you?"

"Yeah, I'll see you then!"

Y/n replies before she puts her books in her bag and walks away from the girl, sending her another gentle smile. Taylor waits until she's out of sight before she runs towards her friends.

Later that night, there's a knock on the swift family's door.

"I'll get it!" Taylor yells as she runs towards the door but her mother was already opening it.

"Uh, hi! Is Taylor home? We're working on a project together" Y/n asks with a polite smile.

"Oh, you must be Y/n! Taylor talks about you all the time-"

"Ok! We're gonna go to my room! Gotta get this project done!" Taylor cuts her mother off before pulling Y/n inside and up the stairs, only just able to catch her mother mouthing some words to her.

"She's cute!" Taylor rolls her eyes with a blush before closing her bedroom door.

"Your mom seems nice" Y/n tells the blonde as she sits on the edge of her bed.

"Yeah, she's great. She's actually my best friend" Taylor replies before sitting next to her and getting her books out.

"So, do you want some music?" Taylor asks as she stands up and turns on the cd player and Tim McGraw fills the room. Y/n smiles at the choice of music before getting her books out.

"So, where do we start?" Taylor asks as she sits next to the shorter girl again.

"Well, we need to write a short story so what do you wanna write about?" Y/n asks as she goes to pick up her pen only to feel a soft hand there instead. The girls look into each others eyes as Y/n's hand lays on top on Taylor's. Their moment gets interrupted by a knock on Taylor's door and Andrea walks in.

"Sorry girls, I just wanted to ask if you were staying for dinner? I'm making plenty if you wanted to stay"

"Yeah, that would be great, thanks!" Andrea smiles as she notices their hands before winking at her daughter and leaving the room.

"Uh, I just gotta go to the bathroom" Taylor tells the shorter girl before rushing out of the room.

While Y/n waits for the blonde to come back, a young boy walks in.

"Hey, you're Y/n, right? Taylor's girlfriend?" He asks with a smile.

"Uh, we're not dating" Y/n chuckles at the boy with a polite smile.

"Wait, really? But she talks about you all the time-"

"Austin! Get out of my room!" Taylor exclaims as she runs back in.

"Why? I'm just talking to your friend!"

"Because I said so! We're working!" Taylor pushes him out only for her mom to call them for dinner. Taylor sighs before motioning for the shorter girl to follow her to the table.

"Um, your home is lovely" Y/n tells the Swift family as they all eat their food.

"Thank you Y/n! It's so nice to have a polite teenager in here for once" Andrea replies as her children scoff with offended looks on their faces.

"I'm just kidding. Taylor is very polite. It's this one I have a problem with" Andrea continues as she points to her son.

"Hey! I have way more manners than Taffy does! She's the one who was making out with a girl she never even introduced us too!"

"We weren't making out! We were doing our project!" Taylor exclaims as Y/n looks at her plate with red cheeks.

"Leave them alone, Austin. They're not hurting you" Andrea sighs.

"You believe him?! Seriously?! I can't believe this! You really think I would make out with a girl I never even asked out?! Sorry Y/n, you should probably go home"

"Uh, yeah, sure. I'll, uh, I'll see you at school" When Y/n closes the door behind her, Taylor turns to her family.

"So, that was the girl you've been talking about? She was pretty cute" Austin tells his sister with a teasing smile.

"Yes Austin, that was the girl I've been talking about. And now she probably thinks I'm a slut. Either that or she'll know I like her and she'll be freaked out. Now I have no chance at all with her so thanks a lot" Taylor storms off to her room and slams the door behind her. Taylor lays on her bed for a few minutes before her mom walks in and sits beside her.

"Honey, I'm sorry. I know you weren't doing anything and Austin was just messing with you. I promise you, Y/n doesn't think anything like that. I think she likes you too. I saw the way she looked at you, she's just waiting for you to say something" Taylor turns to look at her mom.

"You think I should say something?" Taylor mumbles as she stares at her mom.

"Yeah, Y/n wants to be with you. Ask her out on a date. If it doesn't work out, at least you can move on" Taylor sighs as her mind drifts towards the shorter girl.

The next day, Y/n friends nudge her before pointing at something behind her.

"Oh, hey Taylor! Are you okay? You seemed pretty upset last night" Y/n asks with worried eyes.

"Yeah, I feel a lot better. Actually, do you mind if we talk privately?"

"Yeah, of course! We'll just get out of your way"

Y/n's friends wink at the shorter girl before giggling as they walk away.

"What did you wanna talk about?" Y/n asks the blonde.

"Well, I was just.. I was wondering if you- if you wanted to go for dinner. With me. I dunno if that was obvious" Taylor rambles before she's cut off by the feeling of lips on her cheek.

"I would love to go to dinner with you. Text me the time and place and I'll meet you there"

"No, I'll pick you up. It's a date, right? It's more romantic this way" Y/n giggles before replying.

"Yeah, it's better like that. I gotta go now but I'll see you tonight" Y/n leaves one more kiss on the taller girls cheek before walking back towards her friends, leaving Taylor to sigh in relief.

#taylor swift x reader #taylor swift

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7s3ven · 6 months

Text

LACY. cato hadley

( master list )

IN WHICH… Clove Kentwell can’t help but compare herself to Cato’s ex. They may have dated a year ago, but she sees the way he still looks at her.

“Lacy, oh, Lacy, it's like you're out to get me. You poison every little thing that I do”

—

“Cato, are you listening?” Clove placed a hand on her boyfriend’s muscular arm, her eyebrows knitted together. She wasn’t usually worried but with how distant Cato had been lately, she couldn’t help it.

“Huh?” Finally, Cato turned to her. “Yeah. I’m good. Sorry, I’m just tired.” But his eyes didn’t fail to trail back to her. Clove followed his line of sight, feeling a sudden burst of jealousy.

He had been paying more attention to her than Clove.

Y/N L/N, District Two’s prized possession. A delicate beauty none the less. And Cato Hadley’s ex-girlfriend. It had been a year since the two broke up but he was still gazing at her from time to time, which angered Clove.

She had tried to bring it up with him, but he brushed her off. “Cato.” She tugged on his shirt, gaining his attention. “Do you want to go somewhere else?” The pair were sitting in a small cafe that happened to be Y/N’s favorite. She was always sitting in the corner, laughing with friends.

“I thought you liked this place.” Cato tilted his head to the side.

“I do.” Clove glanced down at the cinnamon spice coffee that she adored, “But I… want a change of scenery.” All she wanted was one day where she didn’t have to witness Cato eying up Y/N.

“Uh. Yeah. We can leave.”

Clove did her best to hide her sigh of relief. They stood up, pushing their chairs back. Clove grabbed her drink and practically shoved Cato out the door.

“What about that dessert place you like?” Cato questioned. Only, Clove didn’t like desserts. She liked warm and hot things; like hot chai lattes and spicy soup. Y/N was the one who liked desserts.

“I’m not in the mood for cold things.” Clove smiled, cooly playing it off. She couldn’t help but loathe Y/N for influencing Cato this much and leaving such a huge mark. But it was partly her fault for falling in love with a guy who wasn’t over his ex.

“Do you just want to go home and watch a movie then?” Cato suggested. Finally, he remembered one right detail about her. Clove silently nodded, taking another sip from her cup.

Cato abruptly paused. “Hey, your friend is friends with Y/N, right?” Clove wasn’t even disappointed at this point.

She heaved a light sigh. “Yeah. I guess. They talk.”

“Great. I need to return some things to her but I don’t know her new address. So do you think you could ask your friend?”

“I’m not really comfortable with you being around Y/N.” Clove fiddled with her fingers, which was another trait she had gained from her relationship with Cato.

Cato quietly scoffed, but not in a rude way. He smiled. “It’s just a few things, Clo. I’ll be in and out like that.” He quickly snapped his fingers. Clove rocked back and forth on her heels before giving in.

“I’ll ask but I can’t make any promise.” She uttered, the light in her eyes dimming when she saw Cato grin wider.

Y/N was the type of girl nobody could compare to with her stunning E/C eyes and lingering perfume that hung heavily on her skin.

She was Heather Conan talked about. She was Lacy Olivia referred to. And in a way, she was Clove’s rival.

“Excuse me.”

Clove’s heart practically dropped after she heard that all too familiar voice. Cato seemed to spin around impossibly fast.

Y/N stood behind them, softly smiling. “I think you left this.” She held up a hardcover book that Clove had forgotten to grab despite it being her favorite.

“Oh…” Clove quickly reached for it, hugging it tightly to her chest. “Thank you.” She choked out. Y/N sent her another smile that made Clove feel sick. How could she be so perfect?

“Cato, I found some of your stuff in my closet.” Y/N turned to the blond-haired boy. “Would you be wanting it back?” Clove almost prayed for Cato to ignore her. To not reply. But Cato opened his mouth anyway.

“I have some of your things too. I was planning on asking Clove’s friend, Aria, for your address.”

“Oh, Aria! She’s so nice. She let me borrow her perfume once.”

It was like Clove wasn’t even there. She clenched her hands into fists as she watched the two converse like they were old friends. They somewhat were but their dating history made it weird for them to be speaking so casually.

Cato was hanging off every word Y/N said which left Clove alone. She almost shrivelled under all the pitying looks people passing by gave her, but she continued to stand tall.

“I’ll meet you there then?” Y/N asked, her perfectly tinted lips curving upwards. Her makeup was always perfect, unlike Clove who preferred to wear none at all. Suddenly, Clove grew self-conscious.

Did Cato like feminine girls? Clove looked Y/N up and down, noticing her neat outfit. The H/C-nette was wearing a skirt while Clove was dressed in loose fitting cargo pants. Her gaze flickered to Y/N’s hair. Every strand was placed perfectly while Clove’s hair was simply pulled back into a messy ponytail.

“Yeah. See you.” Cato bid Y/N farewell. He looked at Clove again, who was losing her confidence the more she compared herself to Y/N. “You ready to go?”

Clove hid her insecurity behind a smile. “Yeah.” She muttered, her voice quieter than she planned it to be.

The couple always watched movies at Cato’s house. His family had a spare room that they used as a small movie theatre. Clove leaned against Cato and despite him allowing her to do so, she knew he wished she was someone else.

“So, what were you and Y/N talking about?” Clove carefully questioned as the movie had begun playing. She felt Cato shrug.

“Not much. We were just arranging a place and time to give stuff back.”

“Why do you still have her stuff?”

“I must’ve forgotten about it.”

The pang in Clove’s heart told her that he was lying. She saw the way he hugged a pink hoodie to sleep. It wasn’t her’s, and it didn’t smell like her either. Clove’s perfume was heavy and mature while the hoodie smelled airy and floral… just like Y/N.

Clove did her best to focus on the movie. She would get lost in her thoughts from time to time but always came back to reality when Cato shifted around.

Clove yawned and slightly slouched, letting the cushions of the couch engulf her. She glanced at Cato who was too focused on the screen to notice.

She suddenly paused the movie, confusing Cato. “Are you leaving now?” He asked, watching as she stood up. She shook her head.

“Cato, we need to talk about…” Clove paused, choosing her next words carefully. “Some things that have been happening recently.”

Cato raised his eyebrows, indirectly telling her to continue.

“Lately we haven’t been the same. I mean, I’m training more and you… you seem distracted. Did I do something wrong?” Clove had never felt more vulnerable than right now.

“I mean… you did eat salt and vinegar chips with Oreos.” Cato quietly chuckled.

“That’s not what I mean!” Clove exclaimed, “And that was a dare just so you know!” She pointed a finger at Cato. “You keep looking at her. And don’t pretend like you don’t know who I’m referring to.”

“What? Y/N?” The way Cato immediately caught on unnerved Clove. “Clo, she’s just a friend. Not even that. I only talked to her today because I needed to.”

“I see the way you look at her. And…” Clove had to take a minute to compose herself, “I know that you wish I was her.” Cato said nothing, confirming her theory.

“Clove.” He uttered after a moment. That was the first time he had called her by her real name in a long time. “I’m dating you. Not her. I”- Clove unexpectedly cut him off.

“Then why does it feel like we aren’t dating?!” She shouted, her voice slightly shaking. She was glad no one else was home. “Why does it feel like… I’m a replacement?”

“You aren’t”-

Clove didn’t let Cato speak. She launched straight into another scolding. “Why are you always looking at her?! And ignoring me! I’m your girlfriend, Cato! Me! Not her! So why do you pay more attention to Y/N than me? You hardly even talk to me now!” If Clove was a normal girl, she would be sobbing. But her parents taught her to keep her emotions, especially her sadness, at bay.

Cato remained silent, staring at her with the same look of pity everybody else did. All Clove wanted was for him to look at her the same way he looked at Y/N.

“I’m sorry, Clo.” He uttered. Clove took a deep breath, trying to prepare herself for whatever was next to come. “I just can’t love you like I love her.”

“I see.” The brunette whispered. She quickly gathered her things, blinking away small tears.

“Clove. Come on.” Cato stood up as she walked away. “We can talk about this. Where are you going? Clove.” He was annoyingly insistent on following her.

Clove spun around, staring right into Cato’s eyes. “I can’t be her, Cato. So maybe it’s best if we split up.” She was prepared to leave but Cato grabbed her wrist.

“Y/N.” He uttered without thinking. His grip loosened on Clove’s wrist once he realized his mistake.

“See? That’s what I’m talking about.” Clove unlocked the front door, stepping out. “Just… leave my stuff on the doorstep and I’ll do the same.” She closed the door behind her and allowed herself a moment of weakness.

Cato stood on the other side, listening to Clove’s quiet sobs and sniffs. He slowly backed away. He knew that deep down, Clove was right. He did wish she was Y/N.

He glanced at the box Y/N’s stuff. It sat at the bottom of the stairs, almost collecting dust.

Maybe it’s for the best, he told himself. He had already hurt Clove enough. There was no reason for him to pretend that he loved her as much as he still loved Y/N.

#hunger games x reader #cato hunger games #cato hadley #clove kentwell #cato x reader #cato thg #thg series #dystopia #hunger games #hunger games fanfiction #fanfic #oneshot

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literaryavenger · 3 months

Text

Black Panther - Post Credit Scene

Summary: Bucky comes out of the ice.

Pairing: Avengers x F!Reader, Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Warnings: Nothing really for this one, maybe language. Mostly fluff. My poor attempts at being funny.

Word Count: 1.8K

A/N: I want to specify that I used google translator for the Xhosa, so I hope it's at least decent, but I thought it would be cute to put it in there. I've had this ready to go for WEEKS and I'm so glad I finally get to post it! I hope you like the idea of a reunion like this as much as I do! Enjoy!

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

You’ve been on the run for a year now with Steve, Sam and Natasha. A few weeks after you all escaped the Raft, Clint and Scott decided to make a deal with Ross to get house arrest because being on the run and away from their families was too hard for them.

The five of you that remained went from safe house to safe house while doing as many missions as you could, never staying in one place too long and still trying to help people to the best of your capabilities, with Wanda disappearing from time to time to spend time with Vision.

Lately, though, you’ve been noticing Steve’s been a little fidgety, even disappearing here and there for a couple of days at a time.

You want to ask him what’s going on, but you don’t want to be nosy so you wait for if and when he’s ready to talk about it.

And that time comes one random afternoon as you’re all sitting around in the living room of the safe house you’re in, Wanda being off with Vision.

“Hey, can I talk to you?” He sits next to you and you nod, putting down your book to give him your full attention. “I know you’ve all been wondering where I go every now and then, and I’m glad you didn’t push it. But I’m ready for you guys to know now.”

He addresses everybody before turning to you and looking straight in your eyes as he finishes. “Bucky’s awake.”

Your breath hitches in your throat and you can’t seem to find it in you to say anything more than “Oh.”

“Yeah. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner...” He looks actually sorry. “We just thought it would’ve been better to keep it as lowkey as possible.”

You nod and look at the floor, trying not to show your disappointment.

It makes sense. After all Steve is his best friend, his brother, his only family. You’re barely an acquaintance.

Right?

“He asked about you.” your eyes snap back to him. “He wanted you to be there, but he understood. He’s glad you’re safe.”

“From the government or from him?” you mumble and Steve gives you an apologetic look, but lets it go.

“The thing is, I kind of need to ask you a favor.” you narrow your eyes at him and he raised his hands in surrender. “It’s nothing bad, I swear!”

“Fine,” you sigh. “What do you want?”

“It’s just, the mission we’ve been planning is important…” he looks at the plans and footprints on the table. “And only three of us are needed for it.”

You think you see where this is going. “You want me to take over your part of the mission?!” you look at him like he grew three heads. How the hell can you take on the role of a supersoldier?

“No, of course not. That’s the thing.” he quickly clarifies. “I can’t be spared for this, and we know the mission is gonna last a while.”

“Where are you going with this, Rogers?” you’re just confused now.

“Could you look after Bucky for me?”

Oh. You try hard not to look too excited about the prospect of seeing Bucky again and spending time with him.

“Are you… sure that’s a good idea?” you ask him as coolly as you can.

“It’s not gonna be hard. You just need to keep an eye on him from a distance.” good thing you managed your expectations. “Shuri’s gonna be working with him and, when he’s ready, she’ll let you talk to him.” Okay, you’re excited again.

“Uhm,” you have to at least pretend to think about it, right? “I guess, if I’m not needed on the mission and you are, I could do you this favor.”

You fight a smile as you make the mistake to look at Sam, that’s grinning, knowing full well how you feel about Bucky. You groan and roll your eyes, but he says nothing, thankfully.

“Thank you.” Steve lays a hand on your arm and smiles at you. “This means a lot to me.”

“I know.” you smile back, then hug him.

“Okay,” he says as you let go “we’re leaving tomorrow morning.”

You nod and get up to finish packing the bag you were getting ready for the mission in a few days.

After you’re done, you go back to the living room to spend one last night with Sam, Steve and Nat as you don’t know how long it’s gonna be before you see them again.

The next morning you wake up thankful you’re not hungover and get your stuff with Steve’s into the jet, Sam and Nat accompanying you out to say the last goodbyes.

“I’ll miss you.” you tell Nat as you hug her “Please don’t cut your hair again while I’m gone.”

“I’ll try not to.” she laughs, hugging you back. “I’ll miss you too, Crazy.”

“Try not to miss me too much.” Sam tells you as he hugs you too, making you roll your eyes with a smile.

“Sure, birdbrain.” He groans at the nickname “Be careful.”

He nods and, after they say goodbye to Steve too, the two of you board the quinjet and make your way to Wakanda.

You are met by Princess Shuri and King T’Challa himself. You hug Steve goodbye as he makes his way to visit Bucky before his mission and to tell him he probably won’t be coming by again for a while.

Shuri and T’Challa, who insisted you drop their formal titles, give you a tour of the palace and then take you to a guest room that’s basically a suite, and you’re shocked to find out you’ll be living here in the palace for the duration of your stay.

As promised you look after Bucky from a distance.

Every morning you and Shuri get escorted to Bucky’s hut where she works with him on his deprogramming as you and Ayo hang back.

Other than making sure he’s okay, there’s not really much for you to do so you take this time to get to know the people. It astonishes you how easy you get welcomed by the community.

You’re taught their customs by the locals, you pick up some Xhosa, not a lot but enough to have conversations and you’re even taught to fight by the Dora Milaje. Mostly Okoye and even Ayo since the two of you cleared the air after the whole airport fight.

She apologized profusely about the wound she inflicted in your arm, which has been fully healed for months now, and you assured her it was okay. You understood she was simply doing her job and admired her passion and determination to protect her king.

Also, it turns out you broke a couple of her ribs, which you also apologized for, so you two decided to just call it even.

You got comfortable fast; dressing with their clothes, participating in their festivities and playing around with the children everyday as Shuri does whatever she does with Bucky.

You’re always careful to not get too close to be seen while still being close enough to keep an eye on them.

After their sessions Shuri always brings you up to speed and then you report to Steve to let him know Bucky’s doing good.

You’re making your way to Shuri’s lab where you’ve met her everyday for the couple of months that you’ve been in Wakanda.

“Good morning, Princess.” you tell her, bowing when you stop in front of T’Challa. “My King.”

“Stop that.” he swats at you as both you and Shuri laugh.

“Ready to go?” Ayo asks and you eye her suspiciously as she’s grinning like she does right before she makes a move that instantly knocks you on your ass during training.

“What are you up to?” you ask her but she just keeps on smiling.

“Today is the day, Agent.” Shuri tells you as smirks, knowing how you feel about the nickname.

“I’m not an agent of anything.” you roll your eyes, then register what she just said. “Wait, what do you mean, today’s the day?”

“Sergeant Barnes is ready.” she says and you can’t help the smile that comes to your face, which falls with a groan when you see them all smirking at each other at your reaction.

“Let’s just go.” you say as you turn around and start walking with Shuri and Ayo.

“Have fun!” T’Challa yells after you.

“Your order is my command, Your Highness!” you yell back and you all laugh at the loud groan he lets out.

As always, Shuri gets closer while you and Ayo hang back and she walks to the shore of the lake in front of the hut and then stops there.

You see three kids run out of Bucky’s hut, laughing, and the princess turns around as they run up to her and hug her.

“Are you playing around with that man again?” she asks, laughing. “You’re teasing him again.” she keeps teasing them as they chant ‘no’ between laughter and you can’t help but smile.

Bucky exits the hut and, like every other day, he takes your breath away. His sun-kissed skin, his Wakandan robes, his growing beard and the longer hair. The whole style just suits him.

You see him take a deep breath and then he gets closer to Shuri as the children run towards you giggling about the “Ingcuka Emhlophe”. [White Wolf]

“Uyayithanda Ingcuka Emhlophe?” you ask them. [You like the White Wolf?]

“Yena engaqhelekanga” one of the kids says and you laugh. [He’s strange]

“Kutheni ephulukene nengalo nje?” another one asks you. [Why is he missing an arm?]

You aren’t sure what to say, they are children after all, but you try your best.

“Kuba uyindoda ekhaliphileyo eyathi yenzakala xa inceda abantu.” [Because he is a brave man that was injured while helping people]

They all look at him in awe just as you hear Shuri say, “Sergeant Barnes.”

“Bucky.” he corrects her and you smile.

“How are you feeling today?” she asks him.

“Good. Thank you.” she smiles and motions towards you.

“Come. Much more for you to learn.” she says as she starts walking.

He takes a second to look out at the lake before following Shuri, but as soon as he spots you, he stops.

He stares as you’re giggling with the children that are now circling around you and dancing, and when you look towards Bucky again his eyes are already on you.

You blush a little at his intense gaze but he seems to snap out of it when your eyes meet his and he gets closer until he’s right in front of you.

“Sergeant.” you say, smirking.

“Doll.” he says, smirking back.

You smile at each other until Shuri clears her throat and you turn to look at her just to see both her and Ayo with a smirk of their own. You roll your eyes at them, but your smile stays on.

“Shall we?” Shuri says and starts walking, Ayo right behind her.

Bucky takes your hand and starts walking after Shuri too, pulling you with him, both of you feeling like nothing could wipe the smiles off your faces.

Requested taglist: @sapphirebarnes @aki-ham @mary-jinx @abbyyourlocalmilf @selcouthial @esposadomd @americaarse @multiversefanfics

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livwritesstuff · 5 months

Text

Steve is up past his bedtime.

(Because he's in his mid-fifties and needs one of those now).

It's 2:30 in the morning and he's awake, sitting in bed with a book and doing his best to ignore the dull ache of exhaustion because his oldest daughter, Moe, hasn't come home yet.

He keeps glancing at his phone, waiting for the screen to light up with a notification from the Ring doorbell they've had up and running for a few years.

Steve had been on the fence about getting it installed, but Eddie wanted it (and it was that or the touch screen toaster, and Steve didn't think he'd be able to take his kitchen seriously with a touch screen toaster).

The late-2000s had turned Eddie into a tech guy. Steve isn't sure if it should have come as a surprise to him or not, but it's true either way. Their kids are 1000x more proficient with it, for sure, but they also grew up with it. The last time the girls were really impressed was when their local Pizza Hut got one of those big touch screen soda machines, but Eddie is pretty much guaranteed to be into anything with a touch screen, anything he can control on his phone.

Steve, on the other hand, reached his capacity for technology with the 2nd gen iPad, which is still up and running even in the 2020s and he still uses it to play Hay Day with Hazel despite being practically the last people on Earth doing it. He’s not interested in any of the new stuff.

The one thing Steve was totally game for was getting a Ring doorbell, because with the girls old enough to come and go mostly as they please, it’s nice to have a better sense of those comings and goings.

It wasn't easy for Steve – relinquishing some control to give their daughters the independence that they'd be chasing whether they had permission or not, but the girls have called their dads to get them out of sticky situations enough times for Steve to know they're making the right decision, even if he doesn't like it.

Ridiculous as it feels, that silly smart doorbell does actually provide him with a small sense of relief.

As is proven yet again when his phone lights up with the long-awaited Ring notification.

"Jesus Christ, finally," Steve mutters, and Eddie, who'd been dozing off by his side, lifts his head.

"She's back?" he asks.

Steve nods.

The notification opens in time for them to see Moe stumbling up the porch steps. There's a boy her age – unfamiliar to Steve even up close – watching her warily from a few paces back. She's wrapped in a big sweatshirt and cradling a greasy Domino's bag like she'd used to hold her stuffed animals.

Moe grapples for the door before pausing and leaning towards the camera.

"Sorry Papa," she mumbles, shaking her wrecked bangs out of her eyes.

"Oh, look at her, hitting you with the Papa because she knows it makes you go soft," Eddie says with a smirk, "No apology for me though, that's kind of bullshit."

Steve shakes his head with a snort.

Moe finally gets the door open and makes her way inside. They hear the sound of the door closing downstairs a split second before it comes through the phone. The boy waits until she's inside before waving weakly at the camera.

"Uh...I'm Nate," Nate says, looking completely exhausted and sounding as if he regrets addressing the camera to begin with, "I'm sober. I drove her home. There’s, uh…I gotta get other people home."

Steve snorts as he watches the boy turn and walk back down the porch steps.

"Poor kid. Long night – closest Dominos is, like, thirty minutes from here."

"Jesus," Eddie shakes his head, "Think Moe would be totally mortified if we tracked him down to say thank you?"

"Yes."

"Sweet, sounds like a plan.”

#they know they can't stop their daughters from going out but they can definitely make sure they never want to again #i’ll let you guys decide how old moe is here lol #steddie #liv’s steddie dads verse #steddie dads #steve harrington #eddie munson

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bunihyo · 11 months

Text

trying to fuel my Arlecchino brain rot atm, so while i work on requests take this. I need her biblically, I need to main her, she needs to be my first c6 5* with r5 weapon and the best set ever.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ Her Subordinate

arlecchino x gn!reader, your summoned into her office one afternoon, with a new proposal. sfw, slight nsfw underline at the end, but there’s no smut.

"You requested me?"

Your heart hammered in your chest, head peaking into Arlecchino's office. The familiar fair headed woman was at her desk, legs crossed with a book in her lap. She looked up at the disturbance, the slight annoyance she conveyed was quickly washed away. "Yes," A nod is sent your way. "Come here."

Your body shivers, the way it always does when she addresses you. It's so different from the others that you can't help but buzz. You enter the office fully and close the door behind you. Arlecchino beckons you over with one blackened finger, sharp nail being highlighted by the little natural light she allowed to enter her office.

You obeyed, the pace you had quickening as you walked to the front of her desk. You tilted your head, as if asking to speak, and she nodded gently. "My lady..." You breathed, feeling her cold room bite at you despite the layers of clothes. "Did I do something?"

The sides of Arlecchino's lips quirked. "No." You shuffled on your feet, already wanting to question her further. She sighed. "Go ahead, Y/n. Speak freely."

The first name addressing started not long ago, it made you feel even more special. After all, she never took the time to learn the names of any of her other subordinates. "Why have you called me here?" Your voice shivers from the cold. "Am I in trouble?"

Finally, a chuckle leaves her. "You worry too much," She waved you closer and you visibly gulped, rounding around her desk. Her predatory gaze followed you, swiveling in her chair so you were right infront of her. "You're my best asset."

"I am?" You sputtered, quickly looking down at your feet. "I'm sorry, my lady. I didn't mean to question-"

"It's quite alright Y/n." She waved it off, and you tentatively raised your head again so you can watch the movement. "It's no secret most of the stuff around here gets done because of you. You're my best subordinate by far, and I've come to ask you something."

You want to question what she could possibly want to ask you, but don't when your brain registers the slight praise. Your body shivers involuntarily again, and Arlecchino stands. She approaches you, heels clacking against the floor of her office. You look up, swallowing at the way she towers over you. Her black eyes find your own, their sharp red X's make you tense. "What do you want to ask?"

"Become my assistant," Arlecchino speaks, her hand comes up to hold your jaw. It's only the slightest bit rough, but not enough to leave a mark. Her nails tap against you. "Be forever by my side. Don't you like the sound of that?"

You did. "Are you sure you want me?"

"That's a stupid question." Arlecchino dismisses, a swift shake of her head results in a stray black strand of hair mixing in with its white counterparts. "I wouldn't ask if I didn't want you."

"Right," You breathe. "How incompetent of me. Apologies, My Lady."

Arlecchino hums. "Apology accepted. Now, what do you say?"

Your heart races. Becoming her assistant would mean being able to move up in the ranks. You'd be able to receive certain perks, and be treated better. But, most of all, you'd be with Arlecchino twenty-four seven. Never leaving her side. A sharp jab into your face pulls you back into reality, Arlecchino's doing. "I'd be honored to be by your side, My Lady."

She smirks, your body shivers again. "What will my first task be?"

"It's awfully cold in here," Arlecchino murmurs, her eyes glint in a way that should be terrifying, but it only supplies a hard gulp from you. "Why don't you help your Mistress warm up?"

You nod, and her pleased glance is enough praise.

You're incredibly happy to be serving Arlecchino as her subordinate. Helping no matter the task. So, when she sits down again, you happily fall onto your knees awaiting her next order.

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lizzieisright · 2 months

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How can you support Palestine? It’s constantly ranked as one of the worst countries for lgbt rights/safety and people who are found out face death in many instances. A man was decapitated in the street for being found gay and gay sexual relations are illegal with a penalty of jail time… Who do you think you are crusading for? The reality is if you went there with a rainbow flag walking down the street you would not be ok. Queer people flee to Israel for safety because society there as in many Islamic regions is notoriously anti-lgbt. Israel bought their land and have every right to defend themselves contrary to what the people wanting to wipe out their entire country believe

Hello!

I support Palestine because every person has a right to live. Because what is happening is a genocide. It's a fact. You can argue about it to the kingdom come, but it's done by the book genocide and, since it's a fact, opinions can't change it.

With this being said, I'd like to address two specific points you made.

You can't shame me - or anyone who is queer and supports Palestine - by talking about hate crimes against queer people or describing them. Because before that you should look at your own country and check when was the last time a hate crime happened. I bet it'll be recent. Hate crimes and homophobia are not exclusive to arabic/muslim countries. This point of view is narrow minded at best and racist at worst - either by the lack of education or lack of interest in the world.

"The reality is if you went there with a rainbow flag walking down the street you would not be ok." - At this point I thought you might be a troll because saying this to me? I really am the wrong person to come to with this. I live in Russia. It's illegal to wear rainbow flags here and you will go to jail for it. Chechnya has torture camps for gay men. There's police raids in gay bars in Moscow happening regularly. Trans people are in danger of being forced to detransition. I live in the scenario above, you don't need to scare me with it out of supporting Palestine.

But my point is - I support Palestine as a queer even more as just a human, because I know what it means to live like this. Just because Palestinian queers might not be all loud and proud doesn't mean they don't exist; just because being gay is condemned and puts one's life at risk doesn't mean queers just suddenly stop existing.

And I also know - just as I have support here (my closest friends are straight women with traditional beliefs and they are very comfortable with me being gay, most people I know are not violently homophobic) Palestinian queers have their support, their communities and their people who love them and care for them. And they need our support as well. We don't get to turn our back on our fellow queers just because they happen to live in unsafe places. (and again, this kind of belief stinks of racism or of the need to broaden your worldview horizons. Believe me, the majority of queers are not white and don't live in lgbt-friendly countries)

"Israel bought their land and have every right to defend themselves contrary to what the people wanting to wipe out their entire country believe." My point in this is also really affected by me being Russian. (I'm sorry if some of you are uncomfortable with it, I can't really change it.)

You see, these reasons are very similar to what I've heard when Putin tried to justify the attack on Ukraine.

"Israel bought their land" is just as disgusting to me as "Ukraine didn't exist until 1991". "Israel has every right to defend themselves" is Putin's "We're defending ourselves against the collective West". Which is fucking nonsense.

And this is done by the book propaganda - and I'm not saying this because propaganda is a big word people like to throw around. I know this because I studied propaganda for my bachelor degree as a part of "changing public's opinion" course - me and my classmates were trained in this. They take some historical facts you can't deny or make an enemy out of someone (them vs us) and manipulate it to fit their rhetoric. Once you know how to recognise it you'll never not recognise it again.

Israel is not defending itself by targeting civilians and sniping children - they killed more children in these months than Russia in two years which is horrifying to me - they confirmed multiple times they want to erase Palestine from the face of the Earth. These words don't mean self-defence. It's a colonial power that really wants to show how powerful they are and how unstoppable they are. And again, I know this from the side of the colonial power. For me, people who side with Israel are the same people who side with Russia - and it makes me sick.

Also please don’t assume that people who support Palestine want to destroy Israel, this is again, very narrow minded. Saving people from genocide by committing another genocide? This is plainly stupid. The world is not black and white, it's more complicated than just taking sides. I'll give an example: I'm queer and I know I'll be in danger if I ever come to Dagestan (close to Chechnya) - but dagestan people fund rise to send humanitarian aid to Palestine and I donate to them, because people are dying and I don't really care if people who'll help them are homophobic to me. Because it's not about me.

But there are moments in history when you need to take a stand, and I will not stand with Israel. (or Russia for that matter)

Anyway. Stand with Ukraine. Free Palestine.

#palestine #free palestine #abby anderson x reader #don't come to me with the same points all zionists have; I've heard way worse said to my face irl #and especially don't weave queer safety into it

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certifiedlibraryposts · 5 months

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hi! i have a question about trying to find specific books. i know what i'm looking for, but when i try and search online every website just takes keywords and ignores what i actually wrote. i can't go to my library at the moment (health issues), so i was wondering if you had any advice on trying to find books about specific subjects online? the subject i'm looking for is diplomatic relationships between indigenous tribes in north america/the usa, pre-colonialism. sorry if this is the wrong place to ask this!

You might be able to get in contact with your library virtually and see if they can help you out, they might have a live chat you can access on their website, or if not they ought to have an email address (Though you might have to wait to talk to them until later this week since they might be closed for New Year's.). Even if you're not able to go in person, they might be able to point you in the right direction for digital resources.

With the usual caveat that I'm not at all an expert in this kind of stuff, to the best of my knowledge maybe checking a digital library like JSTOR or looking into more specific journals might be helpful if you haven't tried that yet.

Otherwise, maybe some of the fancy things you can do with search engines might be useful. I'm vaguley aware that Google is swiftly becoming....not very good, I'm not sure if the same can be said for Google Scholar or not, though it does have an advanced search option in the sidebar that could help with your keywords. I personally use DuckDuckGo for most of my daily needs, here's their article on their advanced search syntax in case that's at all useful.

Finally, I'd suggest seeing if you can get in contact with any representatives of the indigenous tribes you're researching. I am absolutely not able to give any authoritative advice on this range of topics, but I'm at least somewhat aware that the scholarship about indigenous people can be rife with all sorts of colonialist bullshit if you're not getting it from a good source. If its feasible for your project, I think it'd be worthwhile if you're able to defer to their scholarship and sources they recommend. If getting in direct contact is beyond the scope or timeframe of your project, at the very least you should be extremely mindful of the sources you do end up using.

As usual I'm positive someone out there better information than me so I welcome any replies or reblogs you guys have to share. Best of luck for your search ^^

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lulublack90 · 24 days

Text

Prompt 24 - Modern AU

@wolfstarmicrofic April 23, word count 937

Sirius gripped his coffee as though it were a lifeline. It was the biggest, strongest coffee he could find, watered down with copious amounts of milk. He took little sips as he logged into his computer at work, brought up his list of tasks for the day and slowly began muddling his way through.

He’d gone out last night with James, against his better judgement, not that it took much persuasion on James’s part. All he had to do was bat his hazels at him, and Sirius was putty in his hands.

He’d been having a great time, downing drinks, shaking his arse to the vintage jukebox and then woken up in some fit lad’s bed, hence the massive coffee and the mind-numbing hangover. He’d crept quietly out of the little flat and stumbled his way down the harsh concrete steps that smelled like weed, piss and, for some bizarre reason, hairspray. Sirius had rushed home, hopped in the shower, changed his clothes and hurried to the coffee shop on the corner. He couldn’t even remember the man’s name. He put it out of his mind, reasoning that he’d never see him again anyway.

It took an age for the little digital clock on his computer screen to blink to 12:00 and signal lunchtime.

Feeling the need for greasy food, he went to pull out his mobile to order a McDonald’s when he realised he didn’t have it. He checked all his pockets and his bag. It wasn’t there. The panic had just set in that it had been stolen at the bar last night when his computer alerted him to a new email on his personal account.

‘Hi, erm, I guess Sirius. Sorry, I didn’t get your name last night 😬.

So anyway, I have your phone. You must have left it here when you snuck out this morning. (You are not sneaky, by the way! Like an elephant in size nines!) But yeah, anytime you want to come by and get it is fine. I’ll be in all day. Crap, I hope you get this email, or I’ve just got myself a new phone. It’s actually a big upgrade to mine. On second thoughts, it’s mine now, mwahaha 😈!

Thanks

Remus Lupin.’

Sirius stared at the words for a few minutes, taking them in, before picking up the work phone from his desk and phoning himself.

“Hello?” A voice on the other end answered. “Hi, I’m not Sirius. He left his phone at mine last night.”

“Hi, Remus. It’s me. Sirius.” He added in case he hadn’t realised.

Well, I guessed when you used my name. I highly doubt anyone in your phone book knows who I am. Especially ginger toss pot number 1. There’s more than one ginger toss pot?” Remus snickered.

“Wait, how do you know that, and how did you get my email address? Have you hacked into my phone?!” He felt outraged. How had he even gotten in, though? It was password-protected.

“Sirius, 6969 is not a strong password. Plus, I could see where you’d jabbed at the screen to unlock it. You really need to clean your phone.” Remus went on.

“Yeah, I’ll get right on that.” He paused for a second, trying to rein in the snarkiness. “I don’t finish work until 5. Is it alright to come over after that?”

“Sure,” Remus answered. “I’ll be in.”

“Great, thanks.” Sirius forced a smile on his face so Remus could hear his sincerity.

“Who’s Specky Dick Nuts? Because they’ve been blowing up your phone all morning before I woke up and found it. They seem to have stopped now, though.”

“Oh, that’s my best mate James. Oh shit, if he’s gone quiet, he’s probably tracking my phone. Er, be prepared. He probably thinks I need rescuing.” There was a loud thudding on the other end of the line.

“Er, I think your friend might be here,” Remus whispered into the phone.

“Put me on speaker so I can talk to him.” He heard the faint click as he was put on speaker and the sound of Remus unlocking the four locks on his door.

“Hi, you must be James,” Remus said.

“Where is he?!” James’s voice was stern and full of concern.

“James, mate. I’m fine. I’m at work. I just forgot to pick up my phone this morning. This is Remus, by the way. He kindly let me know he had it.” He prayed that was enough to call off the Potter inquisition.

“Oh, cool. Hi, Remus.”

“Hi, James.”

“Sorry, I thought you were some lunatic. And you were keeping him prisoner.”

“Oh, don’t worry. Happens all the time.” The phone line was filled with laughter, and Sirius had to hold his receiver away from his head.

“Hey, James, can you take my phone, seeing as you’re there?”

“Sure thing.”

“Thanks, Remus.” He managed to say before James hung him up. He felt oddly dejected for some reason but brushed it off.

When he came back from lunch, he found a new email, this time from Remus’s actual address.

‘Can I take you out on a date?’

It said. Sirius felt a surge of joy and so replied.

‘What do you have in mind?’

‘Dinner? Movie? Massive shagathon?’

Sirius choked on his own spit at Remus’s reply. He coughed as he typed back.

‘Jesus, Remus. Are you always so forward?’

‘What can I say? You made an impression 😉.’

‘Yeah, go on then.’

And that was how Sirius found himself for the second morning in a row in Remus Lupin’s bed. But this time, he didn’t sneak out.

116 notes · View notes

cosmicisms · 9 months

Text

alhaitham being whipped for his lover

sfw

gn!reader

a/n: love you alhaitham but you’ve been temporarily benched for a twink magician. sorry! also idk what the format of this post is like, i just threw words together without much thought.

alhaitham who had no want or need for romance before meeting you.

panics upon getting to know you more because he can sense something is wrong.

he’s very in tune with his own emotions and thoughts, so right off the bat, he knows that you’re making him feel some type of way.

poor guy, you’ve made him doubt everything he ever knew about himself.

you’d never realise it, though.

even when you greeted him with your happy smile, placing the hot coffee on his desk, he simply nods and politely thanks you.

oh god, but if you could peek into his mind. panic.

he’d usher you out of his office, claiming that you’re distracting him from the files he must attend to, even though you’re pretty sure he’s asked you out to lunch many a time during his work hours. hm…

after a while he caves, tired of denying his own feelings.

as mentioned earlier, he’s very in tune with his own thoughts. he’s not going to hide from them forever.

having approached you with his confession laid out neatly in his mind, alhaitham is rendered speechless as he’s met with that same feeling of desire he always felt around you.

except now it was more intense, blooming within him and causing him to belt out his confession in a rather strange way.

you could’ve sworn he was lecturing you, judging by the way he spoke.

after you processed his words, you accepted and returned his confession with that same sweet smile he adored.

and here you two are now. a happy couple. all according to alhaitham’s strategic plan that he definitely did not spend hours upon hours perfecting and agonising over.

now, having alhaitham as your boyfriend comes with a lot of things.

first of all, his love languages are quality time and acts of service.

even you being in the room with him while he works is enough for him. bonus points if you sit on his lap while he reads.

speaking of work, do you need help with yours? alhaitham’s a scholar, well versed in many fields. have a report you’re dreading to write up? alhaitham will try his best to help, lending you resources and giving you pointers along the way.

also he’s a touchy guy. not in the sense that he’s emotional, i mean he’s a cuddlebug.

loves to touch you in any sort of way. interpret that however you like, but i’m talking about linked pinkies while walking through sumeru city, fingers gently caring through your hair while he reads, and throwing his leg over you while you both sleep.

“i’m clingy? not at all, i simply want to keep you in my sights lest you get into any trouble. what’s that? i’m in denial? hm… then i will refrain from touching you. no, no, you’ve lost your chances now, darling.”

pet names are another thing. he doesn’t really use em. maybe the occasional “darling” or “dear” now and then, but most of the time, he’ll address you by your name.

but the way he does it still has you blushing all the same.

he likes seeing you wearing his clothes. at first, he was confused, however.

“i don’t understand. you have your own clothes that are perfectly suitable, and yet you wear mine anyways? …alright, then.”

yep, he secretly loves it. will melt upon seeing you wrapped up in his cape, his cheeks tainted with pink.

not the biggest sappy romantic, if i’m being honest. how would’ve thought, right?

he’ll cook something for you both and have a nice dinner in the privacy of his home (having kicked kaveh out for the night).

doesn’t enjoy dates out and about, but will gladly take you to the quieter spots of the city. maybe the library for a nice reading date, the two of you cuddled together in a corner with a book each.

…though, his attention is definitely focused on you, rather than the text in his hand.

will literally do anything for you. yeah, he might tease you a little for it, but he won’t hesitate.

alhaitham’s always been sure of himself. whether people thought he was arrogant or just that self-confident, he didn’t really care either way.

but for you? oh, for you…

he loves you. he could never deny that.

“you are the only one who could ever make me feel this way. i love you, y/n. let’s stay together for a long time. dare i say forever?”

#✩°｡⋆⸜ ✮ genshin #alhaitham #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham x gn reader #alhaitham x you #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin scenarios #alhaitham headcanons #alhaitham genshin impact

276 notes · View notes

paper-crab · 6 months

Text

To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before

summary: letters to your past crushes get out and its a whole mess, based on the movie/book, yadayada

warnings: swearing, cliché, very rushed

wc: 6914

ignore any grammar mistakes it’s too long for me to reread and if it doesn’t flow smoothly i’m so sorry i rushed it so bad

Writing letters was an emotional release; something healthy to pass the time, and look back on later.

That’s why you’d written a series of letters, spanning from 3rd grade to now- senior year. They were intimate letters, ones you wrote to get your mind off of a crush you’d gained, so when you’d looked for the box to add a new letter and couldn’t find it, you freaked out.

Luckily, younger you was only able to get her hands on two addresses.

Unfortunately, those addresses were the two worst ones you could have gotten. Everybody else had either moved, or come out. They were irrelevant.

Who had gotten the letters, however, were not irrelevant: your school's player, and your best friend's boyfriend. You were fully in panic mode now, how are you supposed to recover from that? You can only contemplate your options for so long before anxiety eats at you. Maybe if you skipped a week or so of school it would blow over.

“Yeah, not happening. Rise and shine.”

You groan. “Dad, you don’t understand. This could ruin my life, I might actually die.”

He doesn’t respond, leaving you to grovel and pick up the pieces of your pride.

In order to avoid your friend's boyfriend, you need to avoid her, which means you’re walking around school alone. You know you’ll need to have that awkward conversation, telling him ‘I liked you when you were just my childhood best friend- those feelings have passed’, but you also know that you are going to avoid it for as long as humanly possible. Asserting yourself was never really your strong suit.

You had grown up next door to her boyfriend, and fell out of touch with him in middle school. While he was blossoming as a social butterfly, you lurked in the background, like a moth drawn to his effervescent light. Like the sun, the light was too hot for you to stay in, and you stopped talking until mid junior year when your friend had reintroduced you.

The other letter, the heartthrob, had been a lot kinder in middle school. You’d heard some not-so-kind stories about him recently though, and they were the exact opposite of the kid, Matt, that you knew.

You hadn’t been particularly close or anything, only exchanging a few words in your 7th grade math class, but you were infatuated with him. When you were younger, he hardly talked, but lacrosse had brought him out of his shell; the shell you’d never managed to crack- or rather the cocoon you’d never emerged from.

Matt probably didn’t know your name, even though you’d boldly signed it in your letter, so you were confident he wouldn’t find you. It’d be just another day for him, hopefully.

Your friend's boyfriend, on the other hand, was constantly with you. He lived right next door to you, and you felt like it was impossible to avoid him. You’d try to get through the school day without an encounter, then lock yourself in your room to never be seen again.

The first couple periods you had? Had gone off without a hitch. Then you hit lunch, and even if you tried, you couldn’t run from your friend forever. She found you, her boyfriend trailing behind.

“I missed you this morning!” She tells you, reaching to give you a hug. You don’t do much but nervously laugh, pulling away from her. “Yeah, I came late.” You lied.

“Ugh I wish, I’m going to get lunch, you coming with?” She says, more to her boyfriend than you. He shakes his head, “I’m good.”

“Alright, be back in a minute!”

“Can we ta-”

You cut him off immediately, nervous laughter coming back. “I have a test to study for, so I’m going to the library, sorry. We’ll catch up later. He knows what you’re doing, but he doesn’t really want to talk about it himself.

After excusing yourself, you make a beeline for the library, seeking a moment of respite. The library turns out not to offer that much solace either, because you see Matt’s two brothers enter, meaning he can’t be far behind. When he rounds the corner, his eyes land on you, lighting up slightly. You see him excuse himself from his brothers, and you immediately stand and run out of there, muttering “Nope, no, no,” under your breath. The sound of you slamming the library door open definitely isn’t quiet.

You can’t help but begin to panic, packing up your things and abruptly running out of the school, through the parking lot, and jumping into your car. If studying wasn’t how you were going to escape the situation, avoiding lunch apparently was. It’s tempting, incredibly so, to skip the rest of your day, but you know you’d be in so much trouble. You can’t handle that right now.

You head back in and continue your day, just praying, wishing, dreaming that you won’t encounter the two people you don’t want to see most- but now you’re seeing them out of the corner of your eye in every passing period; and you can’t even confide in the one person you most want to.

The school day ending feels like your saving grace. You’re exhausted, mentally and physically, from running away from your friend and her boyfriend, and narrowly avoiding Matt didn’t help.

You walk out of the school, into the parking lot towards the direction of your car, ready to be done with the day.

In highschool, you’re never done.

Your friend's boyfriend is leaning against your car, looking around for you, arms crossed. You make a sharp left, in the direction of the lacrosse field and bleachers. You’re not really thinking about it when you do it, it’s just the closest shelter, other than walking back in the hellhole that is the school.

You make your way onto the bleachers mindlessly, trying not to think about the events of today. You set your backpack next to you, not realizing there’s an unexpected guest making his way up to the top of the bleachers where you sat.

“Hi.” You jump, startled by the sudden voice as he sits next to you. You recognize that voice, obviously, so you flinch before turning to him. “Y/n, right?”

You nod, not sure how to continue this. There’s a plethora of things he could say, and you’d rather not hear any of them. Matt taps his fingers on the bleachers, waiting for you to acknowledge that he’s said anything; when you realize you nod.

“Look,” he starts, and that’s never a good sign, “Your letter was really kind and whatever, but I just broke up with my girlfriend. I’m not really ready for anything serious, so if you’re looking for casual-”

“I wrote that in 7th grade.”

“Oh.” He says, scratching his head. “Why’d you send the letter then?” You look to your left, spotting your friend's boyfriend walking towards you, and you panic.

“Kiss me,”

“Okay.” He shrugs, grabbing you. His eyes are closed, but you don’t bother closing yours. You’re a bit busy glancing in the direction of your other victim, and when you watch his face fall as he turns back around, you finally close your eyes. “Not that I’m mad about it, but what just happened?”

“It’s really hard to explain, but you’re not the only one that got a letter. The other person is my best friends boyfriend,”

“Damn. That’s low of you, and I’m not special? My feelings are hurt.” He smiles a little bit, trying to ease your tense expression. “I wrote his before I ever wrote yours, and before they knew each other. I can’t talk to him, though, and if she ever finds out, it'll break her heart.”

“Okay, respect. I gotta get to practice, but I’ll find you tomorrow?”

You want to say no, but you don’t. He did just do you a big favor after all. “Yeah, see you then.”

He sticks to his words, finding you in the library the next day. His mouth twists into a grin when he sees you, and he shuffles over holding eye contact with you.

“Hey,” He says, slightly whispering. It might be lunch, but the librarian is still strict. She wants to preserve the quiet atmosphere of the room, in which you can only hear the sound of flipping pages and an occasional murmur. “Mind if I join?” He settles in next to you.

“Uhm.. listen,” You say, launching into a monologue, “about the whole letter thing, It’s, uh, not what it seems. Well it is, but it’s not. I wrote those letters a long time ago, and they don’t reflect my feelings now, and I never meant for them to get out, so, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to drag you into it, and I’m sorry you did, get dragged into it, that is.”

“If you didn’t mean for them to get out, why would you send them?” He questions, tilting his head.

“I didn’t send them.”

“Okay, uhm, who did?”

“I don’t know, but I cannot talk to my friend's boyfriend, like ever.”

He nods, a mixture of concern and confusion evident on his face, like he’s really mulling the situation over.

“So, someone sent those letters behind your back? That’s not cool, dude. Messed up, but I think we can help each other out here, take control of the situation.” A wicked grin takes over his face. If you squint hard enough you can imagine a lightbulb over his head, like he’s had an “aha!” moment. “I have an idea,”

“What do you mean, control?”

“Yeah, control. Think about it, we fake date. You need your friend’s boyfriend off your back, and I need my ex to get jealous and come back to me. Win win, and it gives us a chance to control the narrative.”

“Yeah, I mean… it could work, maybe?” You respond, uncertainty in your tone. “How would it even work?

“I don’t see how it couldn’t.”

“Okay, I guess, but I don’t see how it could be that simple.”

“Yeah, it could. Trust me, we play it smart, manipulate the situation, and we get what we want.”

“Okay, yeah. Let’s do it.”

“You sure about this?” Matt asks, searching your eyes for confirmation.

“Yeah, I mean, you said it best. I can’t talk to him about this, not for a long while, anyways.”

“Sick.”

“So, uhm, what next?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, rules and stuff?”

“You want rules, you make ‘em’” He shrugs. You grab out a notebook, labeling the top ‘Rules’ in neat handwriting. “Oh, you’re serious.”

“No kissing,” you start writing, and Matt groans.

“If we’re not kissing, how do you expect anyone to believe we’re dating?” You squirm a little bit.

“Matt,” you say in a hushed tone. Heat rises to your cheeks. “I don’t really kiss people,”

“Wait,” he chuckles, trying to make a joke, “was I your first kiss?”

When you don’t answer, he gasps. It almost makes him feel bad, but not enough to apologize. “No kissing then,” he confirms, trying to steer the conversation forward. “What else?”

“No couple-y social media shit,”

“Agreed. We keep it low-key.” He nods. “What about spending time together? How often do we go on dates, and are we hanging out all the time?”

“I don’t know, maybe like, once a week? And I don’t wanna be around your friends all the time.”

“You don’t want to be around yours either,” he points out.

“Fair point. Once a week, I hang out with you?”

“Most days, yeah.”

“Also, no meeting the parents. That makes it too real.” You add.

“Off the table. Oh, I’m not calling you babe or any of that gross shit.” He says. You pale at the thought, literally gagging. “Please don’t, I think I’d throw up.”

“That it?” He laughs at you.

“Uh, yeah, I think so.”

The bell rings. “I’ll walk you to class,”

Your face morphs into confusion. “Why would you do that?”

“To make it seem like we’re really dating..?”

“Oh. Yeah,”

He walks you to class, hugging you when he drops you off. “Meet by the bleachers after school?”

“Yeah,” You say, slightly dazed by his request.

When you walk out of your classroom, you let your mind wander back to his ask, ‘what could he possibly want’ playing through your head. You walk through the front doors, taking a sharp left towards the bleachers; just like yesterday.

You’re not waiting for very long when Matt sneaks up on you, whispering “Boo.” into your ear.

You jump, caught off guard, but that’s besides the point.

“Hey,” he says, putting his hands on your waist.

“What are you doing?”

“People are looking.” He shrugs a little. You’re eager for him to get to the point; the longer you’re away from your bed, the more cozy and inviting it sounds. He clears his throat. “I need your number,”

He’s careful to make it come out as a whisper so surrounding students don’t hear. To them, you’re already a couple.

“And your address, so I can pick you up tomorrow.”

“What?”

“As your boyfriend, I’ll be driving you to school, and home, and I need to pick you up for our date too.”

“Date tomorrow?”

“If you’re free, for the ‘spending time together’ bit,” he says, pulling his hands from your waist and doing air quotes with his fingers.

“I can drive myself,” You tell him, as he grabs his phone out and hands it to you sneakily. You proceed to put your number in, and your address, before handing it back to you.

“You can, but it’s more convincing if we come together.” He murmurs, absorbed in drafting you a message. After a moment, you hear the familiar ping of a notification.

“There,” he grins proudly, showing you the message. “Now it’s official.”

The morning sun casts a warm glow on you, making you feel cozy and relaxed, despite the nerves growing. The idea of Matt, and his brothers, coming to pick you up scares you a bit. You fiddle with the strap of your backpack as you wait on your front porch.

When you see a car pull up, you know that’s your cue to start walking down your driveway. Matt hops out, rushing to hug you and open the passenger door for you.

“Doesn’t Chris usually sit there?” You ask quietly, still smiling to keep up the charade. “Yeah, I made him move.” He whispers back before he walks to the driver's seat.

“Good morning,” Nick says, sounding completely done. Chris doesn’t even raise his head, giving you a small wave. “Hi, it’s nice to meet you guys.” You say softly, not wanting to disturb them. You think them going out of their way to pick you up this morning was disturbing enough.

The car ride was a mixture of awkward silence and small talk. Nick and Chris are both too tired to engage much, but Matt is trying his hardest to keep them involved.

You pull up to the school gates after a short while, Matt parks the car. You get out and he walks over to you, joining your hands while you walk in. He gives you a reassuring smile as you walk in, “Don’t worry, they’re not always like this in the morning. I promise it’s not personal.”

You nod, trying your best to offer a smile that comes out faint. “Yeah, I won’t take it personally. Thanks again for the ride, Matt.”

“Of course,”

The second you get into the school, Nick and Chris part ways with you two. You’re still holding hands, you realize, when the murmurs and glances direct themselves towards you. Matt can feel the anxious energy you radiate because of it, so he leans in to whisper in your ear, rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb. “Don’t worry, it’ll blow over soon.”

For all the stories you’d heard about him, you hadn’t expected him to be even half as polite. Maybe it’s because you were faking, you decide.

The rest of the day seems to float by in a blur, but Matt was right; the buzz around your relationship did seem to dissipate the more people saw you together. During lunch, you find yourself next to Matt. You’re doing your best to maintain the facade with his lacrosse friends, Chris among the group.

You can feel the stare of your best friend and her boyfriend though, and it only brings back those feelings of guilt and anxiety. You’re grateful for the distraction of food, though, because it provides you an out from conversations.

You’re not used to basking in the light like this.

As the bell rings, you feel a mixture of relief and apprehension. Matt walks you to your last class, of course, offering you a quick hug before parting ways.

The class passed by slowly as you try to piece together the events of the day. In under a week, you went from a nobody with 3 friends to a somebody dating one of the most popular boys. Fake dating.

When you’re finally dismissed from the shackles of public school, you feel an odd sense of relief. You know it won’t last very long because of your scheduled date tonight, but it’s there nonetheless.

You find Matt waiting outside your classroom, as promised, a smile on his face. He falls into step beside you as you make your way towards his car. The chatter of surrounding students fades into background noise when you’re with him. A cool breeze dances through the air, making you shiver a bit. For a moment, you stayed silent, enjoying the comfort he brought you just by being next to you.

It was reminiscent of middle school; his silence made you comfortable because you weren’t alone.

“Wait, don’t you have lacrosse practice?” You interrupt.

“I take Nick home everyday, I have time to take you too.”

You nod. As you navigate through the sea of juniors and seniors preparing to leave, Matt turns his head towards you. “Hey, you okay?” he asks, concern evident.

“Yeah, yeah,” you nod, offering a chuckle and a hesitant smile, “Just processing the day, you know? It’s kinda weird.”

He nods understandingly, turning his head back towards the car that Nick is already waiting at. The ride to your home feels significantly shorter when you engage in pleasant conversation with Nick and Matt.

Despite the guilt you feel over keeping up this act, the conversation flows genuinely and you find yourself really enjoying it. He pulls into your driveway, putting the car in park and smiling at you.

“Thank you, and thanks for today.”

“No problem, I’ll see you tonight?”

“You bet,” You say, waving goodbye to Nick. You walk into your house and feel like a puddle of goo, every emotion flooding your body in one go. It’s only the second day of pretending, and you’re feeling like a fly stuck in a web of lies.

Despite your conflicting feelings, you begin to get ready for your date, feeling genuine excitement. Even if it’s just as friends, Matt is really pleasant to be around.

Matt: Movie at 7:30?

You: Perfect, see you then.

The hours tick by as you prepare yourself to hang out with him. You hear a knock on your front door that makes you jump. “Dad, I'm going out!” You yell, rushing out to join Matt.

You weren’t expecting him to hug you when you stepped out. There was no one around to keep it up for, but you decided not to question it. “Hi Matt,”

“Hi.” He grins, pulling away from you. “I didn’t buy tickets yet because I wanted you to choose the movie,”

“You didn’t have to do that.” You tell him, heart filled with gratitude. It was a small gesture, yet it immediately made your middle school crush on him come back.

“I feel like you know a lot about me, so I thought you choosing the movie would help me learn something about you.” He said as you pulled into the movie theater parking lot.

“Yeah, I’ll pick.” You giggle at him, hopping out. When you walk in, you’re overwhelmed by the aggressive scent of buttered popcorn. Matt glanced around, beginning to guide you to the ticket counter. “Shit, that’s my ex.”

“It’s cool, play up the pda to make her more jealous,”

His arm wraps around your waist as he leans into you, pretending to whisper something in your ear. When you walk up to the counter, he unwraps his arm for a mere second to grab his wallet.

“Movie?” He asks. You tell him and he nods. “Two tickets please, he hands his ex his card.

“Hi, Matt.” She says, smiling at him. You immediately get possessive vibes that make you feel uncomfortable, but that means the plan is working. “Oh hey,” He smiles lightly, acting nonchalant.

“Who’s this?” You can literally feel the jealousy she's emitting, and it makes you shift in his grasp. “This is my girlfriend, the tickets?”

“Oh, sorry.” She hands him the tickets, making sure to brush his hand while she glared at you. As you walk towards the next counter to buy popcorn, you start laughing. “I don’t think she liked me much.”

“Good, means the plan is working.” He says, going to fish for his wallet again.

“Nuh-uh. My turn.”

“That’s not really how dates work, but nice try.”

It feels like the hours have crept away from you. The movie comes to an end, despite you willing it to last longer. Matt offers you a hand and pulls you up, making sure to hold your hand when you exit the theater. It almost makes your heart flutter; then you remember why he’s doing it.

“So, what did you think of the movie?” He says, offering you his jacket when you step into the brisk air. You smile, feeling fulfillment while you slide his jacket on. “I liked it, thanks for letting me choose. And, um, thanks for tonight. It was… interesting.”

“No problem,” he says, sounding relaxed. “I liked it too. We make a good fake couple, don’t we?”

You continue chatting while you walk to the car, and while he drops you off. Matt gets out to walk you up to your door, genuinely surprising you. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to.” He says, offering you another hug. You slide off his jacket and melt into him before handing it back. “Thanks, Matt.”

“See you tomorrow morning?”

You nod.

You close the door behind you, feeling the weight of the day settle into your skin. You’re beginning to ease into the fake relationship; even as the facade gets increasingly complex. You sink into your bed, shifting off to dreamland.

As the week goes on, your arrangement only gets better. You avoid your friend's boyfriend, and he starts getting desperate texts from his ex. By the end of the week, you’re sure he’s close to breaking it off.

When Matt drops you off at home on Friday afternoon, you’re insanely smiley. You feel on top of the world. The day seemed normal enough, for your new normal anyways, but there was an odd air of tension everywhere you went. You knew something was wrong when your best friend landed on your doorstep mere moments later.

She was your best friend for a reason- you trusted her with almost everything, so she didn’t understand why this week, you’d suddenly gone ghost. You normally talked every second of every hour if you could, but this week, your communication had been limited to fleeting glances across the cafeteria, or in the hallway.

You open your front door to find her standing there, eyes ablaze with anger. “Hey.. what’s up?” You say, prompting her to talk and cut through the thick silence.

“Where have you been all week?”

“At school..?”

“No, I mean, where have you been? You avoided me on Monday, and you started dating Matthew Sturniolo out of nowhere; I didn’t even know you were talking! I’ve barely seen you this week and normally we spend all our time together. Something isn’t right.”

You feel like you’re shrinking under her intense gaze. Stammering out an apology isn’t really working for her, or you, because the weight of your fabricated relationship with Matt pinned your tongue. “It’s not like that..”

“Don’t give me that!” She says, glaring at you. “We tell each other everything. Why are you shutting me out now?”

You wrack your brain for an excuse, trying to think of anything to get her off your back when you remember a conversation you’d had with her about Matt. “Look, I know I’ve been unfair to you… but I know you don’t like Matt, and I really do. I’ve been caught up with him, and I didn’t want to tangle you into it because I know you don’t like him.”

“He’s a dick.” She says to you, bluntly. “I don’t think you should be dating him, much less talking to him and ignoring me for him. Haven’t you heard the shit he’s pulled with other girls?”

“Of course I have but-”

“I don’t know who you think you are, but you’re not different. He’s going to leave you in the dust too.”

Her words cut through you, sharp and painful. The truth hovered on the tip of your tongue, but the weight of secrecy still held it down. You didn’t know how to get out of this one. “He’s not like that with me,” you attempt to defend, feeling the tears well up in your eyes. “People change, you know?”

“You’re being naïve, and I hate seeing you like this. Ignoring your best friend for a guy who’s going to hurt you in the end.”

You’re feeling shackled, like you’re in the ocean trying to stay above the surface, but there’s a weight tied to your ankle.

“I appreciate your concern,” you say, voice shaking “but I know what I’m doing. We’re happy together. You say, a feigned smile gracing your lips. Her harsh glare softens. “I trust you. Just, be careful. Okay?”

“Yeah, of course.” You nod, acting like you’re relieved, but the pit in your stomach only deepens as the web of woven lies becomes more intricate. She leaves, and you close the door behind you, sinking down to the floor.

All of this because of some letters.

The sound of a message coming through your phone snaps you out of your contemplation. You glance at it, immediately smiling when you see Matt’s name pop up.

Matt: Hangout tomorrow? Nick and Chris r asking

You: Yeah, what time?

Matt: Noon?

You: I’ll be there

Matt: I’ll pick you up

You heart the message, standing from the floor. When you retire for the night, your friend's warning re-enters your mind. You know she’s right, but the reality of your fake dating thing with Matt tugs you back into its tangled web, as it always does.

Each text from Matt, while making you smile, feels like another string of deceit weaving into a thousand more. It just deepens as time goes on. The lure of his attention and the comfort of the familiarity you feel with him vie against the guilt that gnaws at your conscience.

You’ve realized the gravity of the situation, but the truth remains locked in, barricaded by fear and the entanglements you’ve created. You want to call it off, you’ve wanted to, but you don’t want to risk falling into a chasm of more confrontations- from both your friend, and her boyfriend.

You try to shove it out of your mind so you can sleep though, preparing for your day with Matt tomorrow.

When you wake up the next morning, you feel giddy. You put more effort into getting ready than you normally would on a Saturday. Then, there’s a knock on your door and a hug awaiting you. This time, you don’t question if people are around, you just accept it with a grin.

“Nick and Chris wanted to come get you,” He tells you, pulling you down the driveway. Yet again, the front seat is empty for you. The energy of the triplets was infectious, in the best way possible. You immediately found yourself comforted by their presence, the simplicity of just being around them had an inexplicable effect on your already good mood.

The drive feels effortless as you settle into conversation with the group. It reminds you of how uncomfortable you’d been mere days ago, and how much had changed. You kind of frown at the thought, but quickly catch it. Matt’s smile never faltered though, leaving you with an odd sense of melancholy when you’re reminded that it’s all fake.

You can’t help but be surprised by your surroundings when you enter the house. You knew the outside, obviously having known the address, but the inside exceeds all your expectations. Family pictures litter the walls, candles are everywhere. It’s cute.

“Your parents aren’t here, right?” You whisper. “Nope.”

“So, what should we do?” Chris speaks up, cutting through the silence. You shrug in response while Matt and Nick go into deep thought.

“We should bake!”

“Nope.” Matt says at the same time you say “Okay.”

When Matt hears you, he turns in your direction. Seeing your smile at the presented idea, he changes his mind. “Yeah, baking sounds good.”

Nick glances at him skeptically, the switch-up being unusual. When your eyes wander towards Chris, you notice his confusion too.

“Baking it is.” Nick mumbles, leading you to the kitchen.

“Alright, what are we making?” Chris pipes in, pulling out various bowls. “Brownies?” Matt suggests, “I think we have a mix and I don’t wanna run to the store right now.”

“Wait, we’re awful at baking. Why are we baking?” Chris questions, wracking his brain to find the answer.

“It’ll be eventful,” Nick replies.

“If we mess shit up and it gets messy, I’m blaming it on you.”

Nick groans, going to grab the mix and the various ingredients listed on the box. “If you do that, I’m gonna tell mom about that time that you-”

“And that’s enough!” Matt cuts him off, grabbing eggs out of Nick’s hand. He ushers you further into the action of the kitchen, imploring you to get comfortable.

“You bake a lot?” He asks, smiling.

“Not really,” You admit, laughing at the commotion surrounding you. It’s fascinating to you how those around you have become such an integral part of your everyday life in the week you’d known them, despite only being in your circle for under a week.

You know your relationship with Matt is false- how could you not? You remind yourself constantly, but these new relationships you’d forged because of Matt? Some of the realest ones you’d ever experienced.

A crack snaps you out of your thoughts, followed by a millisecond of silence. “Chris!” Nick yells, looking at the fallen egg.

“How is this my fault?!” Matt finds himself laughing with you.

The brownies turn out so horribly burnt you’re not even sure if you can call them brownies anymore, and the mess is colossal, but even when Matt drops you off you only have good things to say about, and to, the group.

“Thank you,”

“Of course. I’ll pick you up on Monday?”

“See you then.” You say, waving to Nick and Chris.

The next couple weeks go by so smoothly, you almost forget you’re acting. They’re relatively the same as the first, save for more interactions with your friend. Being with Matt and his brothers, and even his friends, feels natural. Your weeks become more routine, and the plan is working. Matt’s ex is obviously getting more green as time goes on, and your friend's boyfriend won’t even spare you a passing glance.

By your one-month ‘anniversary’, you’re almost 100% sure you two are in the clear. You’re waiting at home for Matt to pick you up, excited to be with him, but feeling a pit on your stomach nonetheless. When you hear the now-familiar knock on your door, you can’t help but run to answer it.

“Hi Matt,”

“Hi.” He smiles and reaches out to hug you, like normal, but the smile doesn’t meet his eyes in the way it usually does. It’s missing its charm. He guides you to the car, sure to open the passenger door for you, but the gesture is missing its usual warmth. He takes you to this cute diner, one that you’ve mentioned in a passing conversation, but the earlier apprehension you felt only grows stronger.

When you sit down, you finally decide you can’t take it anymore. “Is something wrong, Matt?”

“Not wrong, really. My ex wants me back. She texted me the other night,”

“Oh,” Is all you can say, trying to force a smile to your face. “That’s good.”

“Yeah,” He says. You’re not sure if you’re grasping at straws, but you feel like he sounds like he’s trying to convince himself too. “Do you think you’re okay to break this off?”

“Uhm, yeah. I think my friend’s boyfriend is leaving me alone.” You nod at him, looking everywhere but his face. “Should we just go?”

He can’t argue with that, so instead of getting that cute little dinner date you were promised, you’re sitting back in Matt’s car in silence as he drives you home. The atmosphere felt heavy. You’re stopped at a red light when you finally glance over at him for the first time this entire ride back. He’s tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, a nervous tic you’d never noticed before, while his eyes are set on the traffic lights.

“I’m sorry,” He finally says, the second the light turns green.

“For what?” You reply, trying to keep your voice steady.

“For coming up with this idea. It was stupid and I shouldn’t have-”

“Don’t be sorry, Matt. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed. It wasn’t stupid; it did what we wanted it to do.”

He nodded, but your gaze lingered on him. You could see the mixture of guilt and gratitude swirling through his eyes. “At least it’s over, right? We manipulated the situation.” You say, trying to bring up the mood. You’re trying not to make something of nothing, but his mood seems just as melancholic as yours. “At least it’s over.”

When the car reaches your house, Matt can’t find it in himself to move, to walk you to your door. He hears your seatbelt click, signaling that you’re taking your leave.

“See you around?”

“See you around, Matt.”

When you exit the car, a bittersweet realization washes over Matt. This isn’t what he wanted. He grips the steering wheel, hurriedly putting his car into reverse. He can’t linger any longer, or he’ll make a rash decision and run back to you. He wanted his ex back, and now that’s what he’s getting.

The next day, you wake up with absolutely zero pep in your step. You drag yourself out of bed, drag yourself into your car, and drag yourself through the halls in the morning. The entire world seems more quiet without Matt next to you; your steps echo in your ears. You catch glimpses of familiar faces, but today, they seem almost alien. It makes you wish you’d never left your bed. By lunch, everybody knows something is wrong. Your spot by Matt’s side has been reclaimed by his ex girlfriend. You don’t miss the pitying looks his friends give you, especially Nick and Chris.

You never realized how humiliating it’d be when people saw that Matt left you for his ex.

You settle in your old spot, across from your best friend and her boyfriend, trying to make the whole thing feel natural. It doesn’t.

The whispers and glances you’re receiving from others feel like needles pricking at your already unsettled emotions, and your friend’s compassionate eyes don’t make you feel any more comfortable.

“Matt’s a jerk. I hate him.” She tells you, and it hurts your heart a bit.

“I don’t.” You reply, voice barely above a whisper, the weight of the situation pressing on you. She winces at you defending him, but rebounds. There’s a strong desire to call him every name in the book, but resorts to saying “I can't believe he would do that to you.”

You want to tell her the truth, the lies of the situation having weighed heavy on your mind, but you know that’d defeat the purpose. You thought that when you’d ended the relationship, the entanglement of fibs you’d found yourself in would unravel, but you feel as though they’d only gotten more complicated. “You told me he would.” You say, pushing your school lunch around. She winces again.

“I’m here for you.”

“Thank you.”

When Matt stands next to his ex, who all his friends tell him is a catch, he can’t help but feel empty. His eyes wander away from his table, landing on you. Memories flood back, a mixture of genuine and orchestrated moments swirling within his mind. He’s completely dipped out of the conversation his friends are having, his grip on his new-old girlfriend's waist weakening as he thinks of you.

He catches the slightest glimpse of your eyes, one that you immediately divert; a mixture of confusion and hurt sprinkled within. A pant of guilt hits him, but he tries to forget about it as he turns back to the conversation presented to him.

“What’s gotten into you dude?” Someone asks. Matt shrugs, trying to stay involved. His eyes wander back to you, and then over to Chris, who mouths “Get her back.” at him.

He tries to pretend like he didn’t see that. He has what he wants, his girlfriend, and you have what you want, maybe.

He knows one thing: he doesn’t like the hole your absence has left in his daily routine.

The week comes and goes, Friday night rolling around and the pain of losing each other doesn’t go away. Matt’s battling himself internally to convince himself that both you and him are happier apart; he knows that’s not true. You’re fighting with yourself constantly to not spill your guts to someone, pressure that you had shared with him before the fake, but impossibly real split, weighing on you. It’s past midnight by the time your wandering mind calms enough for you to sleep.

At this point, Matt’s drafted up about 4 text messages to you, and none of them convey what he’s truly wanted to say. He called it off already with his ex-ex girlfriend. The moment she’d started badmouthing you in front his friends put a sour taste in his mouth; that, and he’d realized he was searching for you in every one of their interactions.

He’s restless, consumed by thoughts of longing for your presence. In the silence of the night, he’s grabbing his keys and heading. You think you’re imagining it when you’re awoken by the stall of an engine, but you’re forced to confront the taps on your window.

As you slowly approach the window, pulling back the curtain, you're confronted by Matt’s anxious gaze, illuminated by the faint, cool glow of the moonlight. You rush downstairs, barely stopping to slide a hoodie and some shoes on. The mix of emotions you feel are mirrored in his expression- a blend of nervousness, vulnerability, and longing. With the weight of unspoken words hanging between you, he opens his arms, pulling you in for a warm hug. He’s worried you won’t hear him out, desperate to express what he wanted to tell you in his unsent messages, but his desire to hold you far outweighs his uneasiness.

“I couldn’t keep lying to myself, and you.” He says, face buried in your neck. “I’ve been lost without you, and I can’t pretend I’m happier this way. I miss us, even if it wasn’t real.” His voice contains traces of sincerity, regret, and insecurity, but he feels a sense of strong relief take over at his admission. “I know it was fake- it started out fake- but I’m in love with you now.”

His honesty resonates as his eyebrows unfurrow, his entire body relaxing, and the weight that’s been dragging you to the bottom of the ocean is shed. Rather than sinking, you’re floating peacefully above the soft waves. You pull away from him, your anxieties dissipating like mist under the moonlight. The depth of his words stir an array of emotions within you: astonishment, relief, and a spark of hope. You search his calm eyes, being practically slapped in the face by his sincere and loving expression.

You can’t help but kiss him, seeing the way the moon puts an ethereal glow on his gestures. “I missed us too,” You start, in a soft voice. The air between you is finally cleared. “and I love you too.”

“Can we date, for real this time?” Matt blurts out, going to kiss you again. He feels intoxicated, your second-ever kiss not being a fraction of enough to sate his ever-growing hunger.

You might have started as a fraud, but somewhere along the way, when the tides shifted and your world changed, you emerged from your cocoon, into a glorious and charismatic butterfly.

“If you’ll have me as your girlfriend, for real this time.”

He kisses you again.

#matthew sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo x reader #sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo

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