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chaos-of-the-abyss · 3 years

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Anon: I loved your Celebrian headcanons, do you have any on Manwe?

Ohhhhh anon, you’re asking if I have headcanons on my favorite bird boy? Do I ever. Get ready for this, because I’m about to give you way more than you probably asked for. Also please forgive how rambly and unorganized the headcanons are - I simply do not have the space of mind to be neat when I’m gushing about Manwë.

(I’ve already done some previous headcanons on him xD You can find them here and here, even though this was a while ago and I don’t necessarily still agree with some of these anymore. What’s unchanging, though, is my eternal love for Manwë Súlimo.

The post got ahead of me and it’s quite long, so I’ll put most of the headcanons under a cut.

Split off of the same thought of Eru, Manwë and Melkor were “born” at the exact same time. Because of this, there is no “younger” and “older” between them - they’re simply siblings.

I also consider them two halves of one whole, given that they’re literally products of the same thought broken in two.

He and Melkor are chronologically the oldest beings, aside from Eru; they were the Ainur first created by Him. Nevertheless, they aren’t much older than a lot of the other Aratar, like Varda, Ulmo, Námo, Niënna, and Yavanna, and it’s definitely nothing so considerable that it would matter in the slightest to cosmic angelic beings like the Ainur

His closest friends among the Ainur are Varda and Ulmo, but he’s close with all the Valar, and at least on familiar terms with all the Maiar that serve the Valar in Arda

In addition, all of the Valar are part of the #manwëdefensesquad. I don’t make the rules. There are times when they don’t agree with their king, there are times when talk to him and voice their disapproval, but when it comes to action, they will always support him.

Varda and Manwë met in the Timeless Halls, sometime after their creation. (I’d pin it around a few centuries, but again, what the heck is time to the Ainur?) She was singing while she experimented with the light and the making of the stars; Manwë raised his voice, tentatively singing with her. They became fast friends. He was charmed by her quick wit, her willingness to share, and her open-mindedness and creativity.

He and Varda have made all kinds of odd structures together, combining their authority (Manwë over the air, wind, and skies, Varda over light). One time they produced a miniature tornado with stars swirling inside of it.

They got married before the creation of Arda, but after Aulë and Yavanna did

He also met Ulmo in the Timeless Halls; they both found each other’s elements intensely fascinating. Manwë was intrigued by this water, and Ulmo became curious about this air and wind. They came up with clouds together, combining Manwë’s power over air and Ulmo’s power over liquid, to form vapor.

When Arda was extremely, extremely young, long before the Eldar awoke in Cuiviénen, the two of them were testing out their respective elements in the new planet and got a little carried away. Winds picked up, the sky darkened and flashed with thunder and lightning. The ocean rose, waves crashing and roiling, and the first sea storm happened as a result of their combined powers. After that, Manwë and Ulmo both decided they should probably be a bit more cautious if they didn’t want to render the place uninhabitable.

At one time, there was no one Manwë was closer to than Melkor. Even though they were diametrically opposed in personality, they both had the same passion for Creation, the same love for their Father, and the same fascination with just the idea of creating in general.

Even now, with Melkor in the Void, a sensation of emptiness tickles at Manwë from time to time. It’s vacant and it’s bleak, like a phantom pain along the borders of his being, as if he’s missing something. This is his connection with his brother, severed now that they’ve gone down different paths and can no longer see eye to eye again

The break in their bond has left holes in both of their spirits. I mean this quite literally - because they were split off from the same thought, neither of them are complete without each other. Manwë is content now, because he (unlike Melkor, I might add, who can never be happy without him) is capable of finding meaningful and fulfilling relationships outside of his brother, but he will never be truly whole again. There’s always that sensation of something that was once there being gone.

Canon says that Manwë has little understanding of evil, and I tend to agree. He doesn’t comprehend selfishness, the desire for domination, or the idea of wanting to hoard all the power, beauty, and joy to oneself. Where’s the good, the value, in that? But I do think that he knows intimately how Melkor’s mind works. It’s not the same as knowing how evil itself works - it’s just that he’s too well-versed in the way his brother in particular ticks.

Despite this, he, along with most of the Valar, still gave Melkor the benefit of the doubt during his false repentance. He remembered the ages when Melkor was not so self-centered and not so concerned with only his own power and glory, when he would talk about Creation and about life with shining eyes, and how he envisioned a breathtakingly beautiful world full of vigor and possibility and opportunity. That was once who Melkor was, and he sincerely believed his brother could be that again. And besides, he wanted to let others try again - not only because this is his brother whom, despite everything, he loves deeply, but also because he doesn’t want to be the kind of person who won’t give second chances.

He was... disappointed, saddened, shocked, and discouraged, when it turned out that he was wrong. And, ultimately, he realized what betrayal felt like.

Manwë is a natural charmer. I mean, he is magnetic. But it’s not because he flaunts his power and wisdom and has the “holier than thou” attitude that intimidates others - even though he’s just as capable of it as his brother, who utilizes that particular method to attract followers. Manwë’s charisma comes from the fact that he’s just so down-to-earth, unpretentious, friendly, and warm, that you can’t help being drawn to him.

People are, like, in love with him and he’s thinking, “This is not what I meant to happen...”

He loves meeting people, talking to them, and getting to know them. Part of the reason so many people are loyal to him is because he’s a genuinely good boss. Treats everyone politely and considerately, gets to know everyone who works for him, makes all of them feel valued as individuals, lets them know how much he appreciates their hard work.

As far as demeanor goes, he’s unassuming, modest, open, and relatively casual with everyone (unless there’s a reason not to be). Has been called “charming” more than once. He tends to be playful too, especially with the people he’s close with.

An introvert. At the end of the day, he needs time to himself to unwind.

He’s not closed off, per se, but he isn’t the type of person to actively start talking about his problems or insecurities. Someone he’s close to and trusts will have to notice he seems to have something on his mind and bring it up, to get him to mention what’s bothering him.

During the darkening and after the Flight of the Noldor, relations between the remaining elves and the Ainur were strained. Manwë was distressed by the dissatisfaction of the Eldar and worked tirelessly to mend the subsequent rift. Negotiations, explanations, visits, apologies, reassurances - you name it, Manwë put his heart into it if it meant reconnecting with the elves.

A much better singer than his brother, and among the most gifted Ainur in terms of song (although a few, like Ulmo and Melian, equal or surpass him). Once, Melkor loved and truly admired the beauty of the music that Manwë could create with his voice alone. Now, he deeply envies it and is extremely bitter, seeing it as another way that their Father “favors” his brother over him. This resentment only grew worse as Melkor gradually lost his ability to produce anything beautiful at all, including music. My headcanon is that Melkor was once a decent singer among the Ainur, but as he grew more corrupt and evil, that ability went away until he could no longer sing at all. But, as much as Melkor refuses to admit it to himself, he also desperately longs to hear Manwë’s songs again.

Very patient, very compassionate, very understanding... but Melkor can get under his skin like no other. Who, by the way, will attest that Manwë can whip up with some sick burns when he wants to. Manwë has facepalmed exactly three times in his existence, and all three times were because of his brother.

The standard physical form that Manwë uses has long silver-white hair, copper skin, luminous, pale blue eyes, and full lips. It’s tall, on the slimmer side, and due to how pretty the face is, very androgynous-looking. However, he has a tendency to fool around, meaning that other bodies he’s taken include but are not limited to: a female version of his standard appearance, various other “human” shapes, male or female, a cat with wings and the feet of a bird, and an owl with the wings of a fly.

Varda’s personal favorite incident was when he adopted the form of a petite young woman with black hair, purple eyes, and purple, black, and blue butterfly wings scaled to the size of the body. When interacting with the Eruhíni, though, Manwë, along with most of the Ainur, sticks with the standard appearance to avoid confusing them.

Speaking of changing appearances, in the beginning, he, like the rest of the Ainur, had little concept of a “humanoid” form being “normal”. This resulted in him becoming all kinds of eldritch abominations, again including but not limited to a mass of eyes surrounded by several sets of wings, a nebulous, writhing pinprick of clouds and light, and even a being that resembled a humanoid but with a single eye in the middle of the forehead from which two wing-like appendages, covered with more eyes, sprouted. What can I say, he was always creative.

He still takes wacky forms from time to time for the fun of it, often when joking around with the other Ainur, but nowadays he tones it down for the sake of the Eruhíni’s sanity.

Interacts regularly with elves of Valinor. It’s a common sight for him to be spotted mingling within the Eldar populations of Valmar, or Alqualondë, or Tirion. Gets invited in for tea quite often. Children love him. He has had dinner arrangements with several families before.

The elves send him gifts, usually in the form of clothing since he likes trying on all kinds of different styles. Manwë doesn’t care to appear kingly or sophisticated, so he has no problem going out dressed plainly, or even ridiculously. That weird experimental garment that didn’t turn out quite the way the designer wanted? He’ll take it, and wear it gladly!

He also doesn’t care to be treated with particular veneration by the Eruhíni or by the other Ainur. He’s much happier being on close enough terms with someone for them to address him like, “Hey Manwë, my man, what’s up?” rather than “All hail the Lord of the Winds, the Breath of Arda, blah blah blah”.

BFFs with Ingwë, often either visits him or invites him to Taniquetil. This means that Ingwë’s entire family regular interacts with and is very familiar with Manwë. (Varda's with him most of the time - everyone loves her, too. It’s a wholesome family friendship.)

One time, Ingwë’s kids witnessed another elf being extremely formal and stiff with Manwë (the classic, “O Manwë, Viceregent of Eru, Elder King of Arda, etc., etc.”) and had whiplash, because that’s like... Uncle Manwë! He was telling us bad jokes at the dinner table last night!

Also has a fairly confidential relationship with Finarfin. They both understand the pain of dealing with troublesome impetuous brothers, after all.

He used to be close with Finwë and Olwë, too, but their relationship became somewhat strained following the matter with the Flight of the Noldor and how the Teleri were caught up in it via the Kinslaying at Alqualondë. They’re still on good terms, but it’s no longer as carefree as it once was.

Was also once close with Fëanor, having known him since he was a child due to his friendship with Finwë. That sapphire scepter that was said to have been made for him by the Noldor? Yeah, that was Fëanor’s handiwork. It wasn’t until after Melkor’s release that Fëanor and Manwë’s relationship began to sour.

A natural with kids. He can get any child to cheer up, whether they’re crying, pouting, or throwing a tantrum. Knows just what to say and what to do and when to do it, but also draws a firm line between being kind and spoiling them.

I know Tolkien discarded this idea, but I love love love the thought of Eönwë and Ilmarë being his and Varda’s children. They didn’t have them in the sense that we’d think of having kids - as in physical sex and labor - but they did put their powers into “conceptualizing” them, so to speak. Eru would still be their “creator”, since (for the most part) only He can create conscious, sentient beings, but Manwë and Varda had enough influence over their creation to be called Eönwë’s and Ilmarë’s parents.

Speaking of sex, again I’m contradicting Tolkien’s canon, but in my mind the Ainur can and do have sex. Some might choose not to, but it’s fully possible. (I mean... Melian and Thingol had Lúthien, so clearly the idea of physical relations is not lost on the Ainur.) Manwë doesn’t have a high sex drive, but if he loves someone, he also loves being intimate with them.

Sexuality is a complicated matter to talk about for the Ainur, and I articulated by thoughts on it here, but to summarize how I see it is that they’re all bisexual. They don’t care; they don’t even need gendered physical bodies to begin with. Therefore, whoever strikes their fancy is is whoever they’ll be happy to get it on with. It’s the same with Manwë.

The Lost Tales and the Silmarillion have conflicting versions of the Valar’s Siege of Utumno. In my book it’s a combination; after aggressive, devastating battles that changed the face of the continent, the Valar decided to take a more roundabout approach. Manwë comes up with the plan - they’ll pretend to have realized that they’re unable to break the might of Utumno, and are ready to acknowledge Melkor’s victory. Some of the Valar aren’t sure about this, but they follow their king’s lead.

Now, Manwë knows that Melkor isn’t stupid, but he also knows his brother’s prideful mind the best. (He might not understand it, and he definitely doesn’t agree with it, but he knows it.) So he deliberately phrases the message in a way that he knows will best stroke Melkor’s ego and satisfy his craving for acknowledgement. He also makes sure to tell his messenger to let Melkor’s herald know that Manwë specifically said these words.

As per Manwë’s plan, Melkor calls the Valar into Utumno to pay homage before him. They arrive, and to let Melkor’s guard down even further, Manwë kneels in front of him.

It’s a moment of surprisingly complicated emotions from both brothers. Melkor, about to thoroughly revel in his perceived victory, was shocked into silence - he actually was not expecting this. For a moment, it dawned on him that maybe, he and his brother’s bond, which was once stronger than anything else, didn’t have to be severed forever. He still saw it from a self-centered angle of having Manwë serve him, but nevertheless the possibility that he could reconnect with his brother, have Manwë at his side again, something he thought he had resigned himself to as being impossible, filled him with emotion.

For Manwë... similar thoughts about their once unshakeable relationship, but unlike his brother, he knows the whole thing is just a ruse. Still, he couldn’t help imagining what it would be like if he really gave. It was never a serious consideration, but the thought of what they had once been like, and the emphasis on the realization that they never could be that carefree and open with each other again, saddened him.

Manwë cherishes Creation dearly, loves it, fiercely and with every fiber of his being. Because of this, the utter destruction that he and the other Ainur wrought on Arda during the War of the Powers haunts him deeply, and he’s become wary of unleashing any might that is even similar to it onto Middle Earth. That, combined with his impression that the Noldor who left wanted nothing more to do with the Ainur, and his caution of interfering too heavily with the Eruhíni in Middle Earth lest the Valar start acting like Melkor, kept him from action until Eärendil and Elwing pleaded for help on behalf of the Children. Seeing all the suffering the Eruhíni went through, he sometimes regrets it, wondering if he had been more calculated about his moves, he could have prevented such heavy losses.

Nevertheless, he is firmly against meddling too much with the events of Middle Earth, especially because he understands that it’s difficult for the semi-prescient Ainur to see things on the same scale as the Children. He believes that there is always a possibility that they would get too heavily involved and end up unintentionally dominating the Eruhíni and the paths that they take, which is something he won’t allow. He was, however, very receptive to the idea of the Istari, and is also grateful for Ulmo’s occasional assistance and advice for the Children. Furthermore, he won’t hesitate to send the Eagles if anyone communicates the message to him.

There was one single time Manwë ever contemplated rebellion against Eru. It was during the Downfall of Númenor, when Eru made His intention known to wipe the island off the face of Arda known. Manwë pleaded with Him, argued with him, to reconsider, to find some way to punish only Sauron and Ar-Pharazôn, without the need to drown thousands, millions, of innocent people. Eru simply told him, unmovable, that Númenor had to fall, that there was to be no mercy, and Manwë genuinely wondered what would happen if he refused to comply. If he told his Father, “This is wrong. I won’t accept this.”

But in the end, he realized that he was thinking the way his brother had, in the beginning. That it was unfair, that it was wrong, that only Eru have the Flame Imperishable and that no one else was able to create, in Melkor’s mind, true life. That’s the way Melkor thought, before it quickly became corrupted into, “It’s not fair that I don’t have the power to create true life.” And Manwë refuses to think like Melkor does, refuses to even let himself start down that path. He saw how it destroyed and twisted his brother into a menacing echo of who Melkor once was. And so he watches, still and silent, as Númenor is wiped out.

Manwë is loving. Very loving. He doesn’t hate anyone, doesn’t hold personal grudges, and he would like nothing more than for everyone to get along and be happy. He truly would love to forgive Melkor and everyone who sided with him, take them back and make amends. However, he knows that that’s impossible - that no matter how dearly he wishes to fix everything, if the other side (aka Melkor) isn’t willing, it’s just not going to happen. Sometimes he has moments of insecurity, when he wonders if it was due to his own shortcomings, his own failure to understand the Theme, that things won’t patch up. Objectively he knows - and the other Valar reassure him of this too - that he couldn’t possibly have prevented everything, and that Melkor and his followers made their own choices. But at times, it still stings him, thoughts of if only I did better or if only I was better.

As kind as he is, he is not a doormat - there are some things he will never tolerate. The destruction and pain Melkor caused the Eruhíni and brought upon Creation is something he will never approve of, will never condone, and you can bet he’ll use every ounce of his power to bring his brother to heel if it means putting a stop to that.

Also, you can hurl barbs at him all you want and he won’t begrudge you, but do not insult his friends. He won’t smite you outright for it, but he’ll never forget it and certainly will never like you.

There are times when you’re reminded that this is Melkor’s brother, that they came from the same thought of Eru, and that if Manwë was ever to allow himself to go down the same path of craving domination, he would be just as terrifying. Because on some days, he doesn’t feel like forgiving, doesn’t feel like Melkor deserves amends. He’s furious at his brother, furious at the things he’s done and the things he’s willing to do, and his eyes will glow so blindingly bright that it can be dangerous for any of the Eruhíni to look at him in that moment.

Sometimes during the First Age, when Manwë hears about his brother’s latest misdeed, all the wickedness and enslavement he’s attempted to bring into Arda, he doesn’t bother hiding his displeasure, his disapproval. Storm clouds roll in, the skies open up, rain starts to pour, lightning illuminates the entirety of the sky, and thunder crashes deafeningly - so loud that Melkor, even in the depths of Angband, can hear it clear as day. And he knows this is Manwë saying, “I know what you’ve done. You can’t hide it from me, brother.”

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naitiaclo960writings · 4 years

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Day 8 - Heartless

(Warnings: Past major character’s death and quick mention of disease / grief. It’s an happy ending tho)

September

When Castiel fell asleep in the operating room on the morning of September 14, he was prepared to never wake up again. He had never been a religiously committed man unlike his parents, and yet he knew that he had prayed before closing his eyes.

It has been more than 3 months since he entered the list of organ recipients to replace his heart tired by illness. Unfortunately, he had inherited a heart malformation from birth and had survived to the age of 28 without being too disabled, but the congenital heart disease had caught up with him midyear. After a whole series of tests and a permanent hospitalization, the doctors had been very clear: either he had a heart transplant or he had only a few months left to live.

The hardest part was seeing his friends and family coming to see him every day with a darker face as nothing moved on the side of the organ center. Castiel was aware that he was not a priority among the thousands of people in need of a heart in the United States, but he tried to remain optimistic for the people he loved. His fight was rewarded a few days ago when he was told he had found a match donor.

For medical reasons, Castiel and his family weren’t allowed to know who the donor was. It was obviously not the priority in the eyes of all, but Castiel had insisted on knowing more and he had simply been informed that a heart had become available following a fatal road accident in the nearby city. There was something macabre about celebrating someone’s death, but that person had been generous enough to help other souls struggling to live and he could only salute that gesture.

"Take a deep breath." The nurse intimated, securing a mask on his face.

Thus the day of the fateful operation had arrived and Castiel was terrified. There were so many things to consider, so many factors that could tip the scales one way or the other. After one last thought to his family and, surprisingly, to his donor’s family, Castiel did as he was asked.

* * *

October

The operation was a success. He opened his eyes after said surgery. There was nothing more to say except that Castiel was grateful every day for the new beating heart in his chest. It was with this heart that he could now embrace his loved ones, laugh with his friends and discover a world he thought destined to disappear beyond the doors of this hospital.

Castiel was still in hospital and in the recovery phase, but he was doing well and could be out very soon according to his doctors. He had seen the scar on his chest last week and he couldn’t help but cherish it. This mark was the sign that he had survived. The sign that he had the right to live longer and to continue to build his life away from the health problems that had accompanied him all his life.

He was currently distracted by the television channels in his room — the afternoon programs were truly deplorable — when the nurse came in to serve him his meal.

"Hi Clarence. How’s my hottest patient today?" She exclaimed.

Castiel turned his head towards her with a small awkward smile as usual. He stood up gently in bed.

"Hello Meg." He said politely. "I’m fine, my scar doesn’t even itch anymore."

Meg was definitely his favorite nurse and it seemed to be mutual. She had told him one day that she always arranged to be assigned to his room, for she liked their conversations, and Castiel could only agree with her. Despite her bad girl tease, Meg was now a good friend, always listening and present to support him in addition to being a good caregiver. Her honesty had helped Castiel to carry on in his fight against the disease and during his remission. They sometimes spent long minutes discussing their respective lives before Meg’s pager rang and she was called away. In addition, she sometimes smuggled him chocolate bars to make up for the hospital food and Castiel calling it "a survival aid".

"I hope so!" Meg said, setting up his lunch tray with a small smile." But at least it has the merit of giving you a little adventurous side. Did I ever tell you I have a thing for guys with chest scars?"

Castiel laughed softly, playing the game they both took pleasure in maintaining. Despite everything, it didn’t go any further than that: a game to brighten their days. Both knew how to settle for their already atypical friendship.

"At least twice a day." Castiel joked while leaning in his pillows. "Did anyone leave a message for me today?"

Meg could not help sighing and Castiel pinched his lips with sympathy.

They both knew what that meant. Castiel had insisted on registering on a site that put organ donor families and recipients in contact. However, the process was complex and if the family of his donor did not post any message on this site, then Castiel would have no chance to get in touch with them. Yet he was almost obsessed with this situation. He had this need, no, this irrepressible urge to thank the family of the one who had saved his life. It was something so important and, although he respected the choice of some to remain anonymous, he felt that he would not be able to leave this all behind until he had put a definitive end to this chapter of his life.

"No, Clarence, squat" Meg shook her head. "And even if they did, you know very well that you will not be able to contact them. The site does not allow any personal information or too intimate exchanges between families."

"I know." Castiel replied, abashed while planting his fork in the mashed peas. "But perhaps they will make an exception? I just want to know them and thank them for the gesture of their loved one".

Meg clicked her tongue while pushing the wagon towards the door.

"I know you want to do the right thing, you’re a damn angel with a halo over your head." She gave him a small grin of disgust that made Castiel smile. "But what if they didn’t want to meet you? They are probably—"

"Living a difficult situation and I would only remind them of their loss, yes, I know." Castiel mumbled without being able to help it. "But… Maybe that they also would like to know that the death of their loved one helped other people cope. It’s possible Meg. And maybe they just don’t know how to contact me or-"

Meg shook her head again with a little compassionate pout.

"Even if they knew, handsome, they couldn’t. It’s against the law. Medical confidentiality and all that crap." She sighed before she came to sit on the chair beside him and put her feet on his bed.

Castiel let out a groan of frustration.

"Yes… But there are necessarily registers somewhere, a way to find a contact." Suddenly, something seemed to light up in his eyes and he turned his hopeful face towards Meg.

"Oh no, don’t give me that look." She groaned, knowing that it was not good news.

Castiel ignored her.

"Could you have access to organ donor records? You told me the heart came from the next town."

"And just by doing that, I’ve already told you too much." Meg said, raising an insolent eyebrow.

"You must be able to find an address, right? There must be even a name or maybe a phone number. I mean, if it’s a medical secret then the information has to be somewhere. If I could just put my finger on a semblance of something, it would be…" He moistened his lips, thinking. " It would be incredible."

Meg grumbled again, throwing her head back with exaggeration.

"Let’s say I have access to this information, and I mean maybe. Just giving it to you could cost me my job, Clarence. Why is it so important for you to find the name of a dead guy?" She snapped.

At these words Castiel’s face slumped slightly. He remained silent for a moment, seeking the right answer to this question. Meanwhile, he felt his heart squeeze in his chest and the blood it sent to his brain was enough to formulate his next words.

"Because it is unfair that I survived among so many others." He said." My donor had relatives, maybe siblings, a dog, friends and all lost something too valuable to be replaced in this car accident. Yet that’s how organ donation works. Someone dies and allows others to live. But I know that, if I had died on that operating table, my parents would have liked to know through whom I would have continued to live. I feel responsible Meg."

Castiel took a shaky breath before gently biting his lip while his friend welcomed his words with contemplative silence. Television continued to gossip in the background, but Castiel no longer heard it, lost in his thoughts.

"And yet, you are not." Meg said gently, leaving aside her usual sarcasm this time.

Castiel nodded slowly.

"I know." He sighed again before returning to his plate. "I’m sorry, you’re right. I can’t ask you anything like that anyway, it was selfish of me."

Following this, only the noise of the cutlery against the ceramics as well as the television journalist was heard in the hospital room. Meg didn’t move, didn’t open her mouth either, while each of them thought about their commitments in this story.

Finally, after several minutes of silence, the nurse sighed dramatically.

"What the hell wouldn’t I do for those beautiful blue eyes." She said under her breath. "Okay, I’ll see what I can do about the address." She says while rolling her eyes before standing up.

Castiel turned his head so quickly towards her that he was afraid to break his neck.

"What?" He asked, stunned.

"But I can’t guarantee you anything, Clarence." Meg told him while sighing. "You don’t access their organ donor files like that, but… I may have a couple of people I could contact. But it’s just between us."

She glared at him, and Castiel nodded, mouth open.

"I... of course."

Meg swore softly.

"One more thing." She said." I’ll try everything, but if I don’t find anything, you have to promise me you won’t try to get a name anymore. Do we have a deal?"

Castiel closed his mouth in a discreet snap before taking his friend’s last words into consideration. Finally, he nodded again.

"I promise you." He said seriously.

"Good." Meg sighed. "You’ll owe me one, angel."

A smile appeared again on Castiel’s face, more tender this time, his heart still playing up its own behind the scar of his chest.

"Thank you, Meg." He whispered.

"Shuddup." She grumbled with a wink before her pager rang in the room.

In no time, she waved at him and disappeared in the corridor, taking the empty wagon with her. Castiel went back to his bed with a light smile on his face. Yes, Meg was a good friend.

* * *

November

Meg’s research had still not yielded anything even a month after Castiel left the hospital. Although he was now alone again in his large apartment, there was something exhilarating about being able to live normally as if he had not nearly died a few months ago. Finding a job at the florist in his town had been the first step in his new life as he slowly resumed a normal social life with his friends and family.

His own search had also given nothing and the inbox of the website that could put him in contact with his donor’s family remained hopelessly empty. Nevertheless, Castiel did not get the idea out of his head. He often dreamed of meeting these strangers, of the words he would say to them if they had the chance to do so.

It was during a cold November evening, while he was bundled up in a plaid on his couch in front of a TV show, that Castiel’s cellphone rang. It was not something particularly unusual, but the late hour of the evening immediately gave this call something special. When he reached out to his phone, he could see Meg’s name on the screen.

"Hello?" He said, picking up, his heartbeat accelerating.

"Hi Clarence." Meg, a net of excitement in the voice, hastily replied. "Tell me you’re sitting, handsome, I’d hate to hear you fall on your ass because of what I’m about to tell you."

At this, Castiel straightened up in the sofa, his heart going up his throat.

"I’m sitting." He simply said, his fingers tightening around his phone.

"Okay, because I have something for you!" Meg hummed. "The info cost me at least three boxes of chocolate and the promise of a date to the shady guy in the operating room. You know, the one who keeps wearing Britney Spears t-shirts under his blouses? He’d be doing karaoke parties with the girl from the fourth floor that I wouldn’t even be surprised at-

"Meg." Castiel impatiently cut her off.

"Yes, yes. All this to say that he knows who approved your transplant application. So…" She said with pride, leaving a second of silence to settle her effect. I know where your little heart comes from and how to reach out to the family!"

At once, Castiel felt the air blocked in his throat. These words, he had waited for them for months while everything gradually turned into a crazy and inaccessible hope. Suddenly, through a simple phone call, Meg had just remade his world.

"Are you certain?" He finally asked, with a short breath.

"Oh, Clarence, please! Don’t you trust your favorite nurse anymore?" Meg laughed immediately.

Castiel shook his head, a bit stunned. Meg resumed.

"I sent you everything by e-mail, you must have received it." She said with malice. "But remember: keep it under your hat pretty boy. You don’t know me."

"Yes, I... of course." Castiel stuttered, rising to rush towards his computer.

"Hey." Meg called him through the phone, her voice softer. "I know it’s important to you, but… take the time to assimilate the information, okay? You don’t have to contact them tonight."

Castiel knew she was right, but the excitement was in his chest. However, he took the time to thank Meg warmly and invite her to dinner next week before hanging up. A few minutes later he had his eyes fixed on a brand new e-mail in his inbox. Castiel took a great inspiration. He had waited so long for this moment that, now that he was faced with a fait accompli, he was almost afraid to go for it.

Finally, he found the courage to click on the screen. His eyes quickly passed over her friend’s introductory text before fixating on a name written in bold as well as a lot of personal information listed just below. Reading these few lines, Castiel felt his heart racing again.

Samuel William Winchester

Born: March 2, 1983, in Lawrence, Kansas

Died: September 13, 2006, in Des Moines, Iowa

Cause: Head injury, road accident

Blood type: O negative

Applicant for organ donation: Yes

Organ removed: Heart

The data sheet thus continued in a professional coldness that affected Castiel slightly as he felt his throat tightening. His donor was only 23 when he died. He read every piece of information carefully before he got to the part he was most interested in.

Contact person in case of problem: Dean Winchester

Donor affiliation: older brother

Castiel felt his hands become sweaty as his gaze slid over the address and telephone number of Dean Winchester. A heavy silence filled his apartment, Castiel still unable to detach his gaze from this decisive email.

That’s it. The family of his donor was only a phone call away and he could finally thank the entourage of his savior. However, with this crucial information came a bitter feeling that Castiel had not apprehended. He remained all night pacing in his living room, his eyes regularly returning to the phone number taunting him from the screen of his computer.

* * *

December

Three months. Three long months since his little brother had disappeared in a car accident, leaving him and their parents in the grip of nameless sadness. He could barely breathe most of the time thinking of that youthful face he would never see again.

Dean passed a tired hand over his face as he walked past the windows of an umpteenth shop decorated with trees and garlands. Celebrating Christmas seemed absurd, totally meaningless in such a context. What’s the point if he can’t see Sammy’s jaded face in front of his usual porn magazine that he buys especially for him every year, for the joke? His world has been tasteless for far too long now.

Mary managed to keep her head above water half the time, calling him every day to hear from him, to which Dean responded with as many reassuring words as he could. Everyone knew that most of them sounded empty, but they could only pretend to be okay these past few months. Dean was wondering if the pain would eventually go away. He was told yes. He doubted that. John, on the other hand, drank a little more every day and Dean felt guilty about leaving his mother with him all day, regardless of Mary’s reassuring words.

The ground seemed to collapse under his feet as Dean looked for a way out. The truth is, he didn’t know how to do it without breaking everything around him. His days passed one after the other in a sickly similarity: work, eat, reassure, start again. He no longer had his stupid little brother to listen to his stories, no one to share his Friday night evenings with and who would be there to support him in any situation. He had his friends left, but, honestly, no one could understand him like Sam did for 23 years.

An umpteenth sigh passed through the barrier of his lips when a rock-like music rose out of his pocket. Already worried that it was still his mother, Dean took out his cell phone. Unknown number. He raised an eyebrow and picked up.

"Hello?" He said in a hoarse voice.

The line remained silent and Dean frowned. He could hear a breath at the other end of the line, so he tried again.

"Hello?"

"Oh, uh, yes! Hello, sir, uh, Dean?" An uncertain voice immediately answered with a short breath and tangled words.

Dean raised an eyebrow. Had he given his phone number to anyone recently? Not to his knowledge in any case, he very rarely went outside the garage in which he worked. Curious, Dean turned into a quiet street to concentrate on his interlocutor.

"Who am I speaking with?" He asked with a hint of sarcasm.

The man on the other side of the phone seemed to take a breath before resuming in an equally nervous tone.

"I’m sorry, we don’t really know each other. I am aware that my call may be unwelcome, in fact I hesitated for a long time before contacting you." The man stuttered.

Dean sighed.

"Well, listen, if it’s to sell me something then I’m not interested, thank you."

"No!" The man quickly added. "No, I don’t want to sell you anything. I…" Another inspiration."My name is Castiel Novak. I live in Waterloo. I know this is going to sound weird, but… I received your brother Samuel’s heart."

Dean remained silent for a long time, trying to assimilate each of the words he had just heard. At the sound of Sam’s name, he thought he was dying a bit more. A kind of thud rose in his ears, so that he thought he had fallen into a pool while he was not paying attention to his steps. Besides, Dean wasn’t even sure where he was, now standing still in the middle of the street. Only a deep and sizzling voice gradually emerged from his torpor.

"I am sorry." Castiel went on after a long silence. "I’ve taken the liberty of contacting you, but I can assure you that I don’t want to cause you any more trouble than that." He seemed to be searching for his words for a moment." I know I could never thank Samuel for his gesture, but... your brother saved my life. I just wanted to let you know how grateful I was, even though I couldn’t replace what you lost. If there’s anything I can do to help, it would be my pleasure. However, I also understand that you would never want to hear from me again... But I can assure you that I will take care of his heart. Samuel really did a lot of good in my life and with my loved ones."

Castiel started to mutter, as if he was suddenly deeply embarrassed by this phone call. Dean was convinced that he had to send back the image of a man ravaged by grief right now, his arms swaying and his gaze lost.

"Sam." He finally replied in a trembling voice. Dean took the time to clear his throat before continuing. "He preferred to be called Sam."

"Okay." Castiel said after another moment of hesitation. "Well… Sam really is a hero to me, Dean, I wanted you to know that."

Dean nodded stupidly, no matter how Castiel couldn’t see him. He felt that the sky had just fallen on his head, he felt completely disoriented. Of course Sammy was a hero, the rest of humanity didn’t even know how lucky they were to be around him. Dean knew that Sam had donated his organs, he had even given everything he could, because he was like that. But knowing that the heart was beating in someone else’s body, giving them a chance to continue to live and breathe… It was something he hadn’t really thought about until then.

"I’m going to leave you, I’m sorry I interfered in your life like this." Castiel apologized again. "I will not call this number again, I promise. I hope everything will be all right for your family, sincerely."

Dean’s heart skipped a beat and his muscles began to move, pushing him to almost scream on the phone.

"No, wait!" Realizing that Castiel had still not hung up, Dean quieted down, a shiver in his voice. "I don’t even know how you found this number, but… Well, it doesn’t matter. You’re from Waterloo? Iowa?

"Yes." Castiel said. "I’m about a two-hour drive from Des Moines. I don’t know if you live nearby, but-

"Des Moines, yeah." Dean replied, stunned. How did this guy know so much about Sam, he thought that the organ donation was anonymous? "Would you be available to meet in the week?"

An umpteenth silence answered his question and, frankly, Dean himself did not know why he had asked it. Maybe he was holding on to a ghost, a hopeless, senseless hope of finding something that once belonged to Sam. But what else did he have to lose now?

"… Are you going to punch me in the face if I say yes?" Castiel asked with distrust.

Surprisingly, it snatched a small laugh from Dean who barely recognized the sound of his voice. He hadn’t laughed that easily in weeks now.

"No." He answered. "I just want to talk, if that’s okay?"

He didn’t know what to think of this situation, it was too surreal. Was he angry with this man? No, not really. Sad? Maybe, but nothing new. Curious? Certainly. There were so many questions that now turned in his mind, almost stunning him. Never before had he heard a similar story and, yes, he was driven to the unknown by the despair of that mourn which he had never ended. But to hell with it, he needed to feel Sam’s heart beating against his hand again.

"Okay, I’d love to, then. What’s your schedule?"

Dean felt a piece of his soul warming up.

* * *

January

Their first encounter had definitely been strange and completely atypical. They had arranged to meet in a café halfway between their two cities, and despite a tense start, Dean and Castiel had talking much of the afternoon. Dean had been biting his tongue all along so he wouldn’t ask the fateful question of "excuse me, can we stop talking so I can put my hand against your heart?". But Castiel had finally come to the point by asking him if he could tell him about Sam and things had been done naturally. It was as if someone had opened the floodgates and quickly, Dean was unable to stop the incessant flow of words about his little brother. He told him the most important thing, from his childhood memories to that weird tic that Sam had every time he was upset.

Castiel had then smiled softly at each of his anecdotes and, when Dean had finally been allowed to feel this pulsating heart against his hand, Castiel had not moved. Dean was almost certain that he had let slip a strangled exclamation, but Castiel had just contented himself with that sweet and understanding look. At the end of their appointment, they had agreed to meet again. They both needed it.

The month of February began on another encounter at the park this time, at Des Moines. The winter was still rough and persistent this year, so they had decided to go and enjoy a hot chocolate near the pond. Dean hadn’t told his parents about it, not yet, but this meeting with Castiel did him as much good as the first. When he returned home, he found himself feeling much lighter than before.

They did not wait until the following month to meet again, and their third meeting took place in Waterloo this time. Castiel had invited him to dinner at a restaurant he called "the best in town" and Dean could not possibly say no to the prospect of a good meal.

March hosted their first meeting in a private place. Dean had taken care to clean up the mess from top to bottom before Castiel rang his doorbell and, seeing the huge bouquet of flowers that his friend had brought him, an easy smile spread over his face. Easy. It was the right word to define Castiel. Everything was easy with him, obvious and sweet. He never judged him, no matter what topic of conversation he decided to share with him. Castiel listened and supported and Dean had not felt so free and understood since at least 6 months now. One evening, he even wildly wondered if Sam’s heart had not completely taken possession of Castiel to make him this radiant and exceptional person. Until then, Dean had never known anyone but his brother who could read him like an open book.

In April and several appointments later, however, Dean understood that it was not really a fraternal connection he shared with Castiel. He learned to dwell more on the looks and gestures exchanged. Everything was crazy, insane, but once again, everything had always been crazy between them, and this from the first day.

May marked the beginning of a mental breakdown for Dean. He was definitely falling in love with his now best friend and that terrified him. What if he was wrong? What if the fear of losing sight of the only thing that still connected him to his deceased brother led him to feel faked feelings for Castiel? He had no right to be wrong here, he could not make his friend suffer, for he was too stubborn and miserable to properly analyze his own feelings. His cowardice pushed him away from Castiel — "to avoid making him suffer," he said — and the deep despair that this created in each of them was almost as hard as a second mourning. Almost.

Despite his best efforts not to hurt his best friend, June began with a considerable argument. Castiel felt rightfully unfairly rejected, and Dean could not bring himself to pronounce the words that burned his throat. However, neither of them expressed themselves more when Castiel, after a final overwhelming exclamation, brutally kissed Dean’s lips. The latter greeted him with a sob before deepening their kiss. No, Dean did not only love that beating heart in his chest… He had fallen in love with so much more.

July and August passed at an alarming speed as each of the two men discovered another facet of the other. Castiel had met Dean’s parents and Dean had not seen his mother so happy for a long time now. However, the one-year date of Sam’s accident was fast approaching and Dean could not ignore the weight it added to his shoulders. Little by little, Sam’s heart had become Castiel’s one in his eyes and his boyfriend was gradually filling the void that he felt deep inside him, but this dammed month of September was now taunting him every day on the calendar.

"Would you like to put your head against my chest?" Castiel once proposed as they both prepare to go to bed.

Dean froze, air jammed in his lungs.

"What?" He asked, stunned. He wasn’t sure if he heard correctly.

Castiel smiled softly, as always, before taking his hand in his.

"Just tonight." He replied, as if that explains everything.

And without really understanding how, Dean nodded and lay down with Castiel. Docilely, he had let his companion draw him to himself until his ear rested against the scar of his chest. Some breathing later, Dean was able to discern the beats under the mutilated skin and the world stopped spinning. He remained there for hours, his eyes open but lost in nostalgia and stifling emotion. He was alive and well, determined not to disappear. Not this time. When Dean began to cry silently, Castiel simply hugged him harder to comfort him, without a word. This was so precious to him. It quickly became their favorite position, Dean kissing the scar whenever he could.

September passed by in a bitter sweet atmosphere that neither Dean nor Castiel regretted sharing together. One evening in October, bundled up under the duvet to fight off a new winter, Dean could not take his eyes off the blue gaze smiling back. He thought of what his last months had been, what he had lost, but also what he had found. In front of him, Castiel squeezed the hand on his chest while breathing the same warm air as his partner. Their heart rate was calm and painless.

"I love you." Dean huffed at the bend of another tender smile.

At his words, Dean felt Castiel’s heart miss a beat under his palm and maybe, just maybe, was this the way his brother told him how happy he was for him.

* * * @winchester-reload

I hope you enjoyed it! I would really like to develop other moments like their first meeting or the evolution of their friendship until they become a couple. However, I had only one day to write and I had to make choices :). I am proud of this work but also rather doubtful of the final result so, if you liked it, please take the time to leave me a quick review in the comments. It would mean a lot to me. Thanks again for reading to the end, see you tomorrow!

You can find the whole series on Ao3

Tag list /!\ PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU WANT TO BE ADD TO (or removed from) THE TAG LIST so you won’t miss any updates.

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prongsisabadger · 3 years

Text

TWP Chapter 21

A shuttle took us to the Negotiator once we dropped the 501st and Master Skywalker off on their ship. A report had been given to the Jedi Council already. Eleven dead, several wounded. The price for an arrogant politician's actions. I had made it a point to stay silent the entire time, coming to terms with my feelings regarding the entire situation. My disdain for Chairman Cho, my indifference for his death, my inability to set it all aside and try to come to a peaceful solution.

I had failed as a Jedi, and yet it didn't feel like it. The silent, but powerful gratitude I felt in the clones when I visited the med bay made it all worth it. In the corridors, the 501st said nothing, but every clone I walked past either saluted me or patted my shoulder. There was no need for more. But in the back of my mind, I knew my behavior had not been that of a Jedi. The real question was: was that really wrong?

All of this I considered in silence, I had to sort my emotions on my own before I asked Master Kenobi the important questions. I needed to know the source of my hatred for Cho -other than the obvious-, the reason behind my protectiveness of the clones and my attachment to them. I needed to figure out if I was truly capable of feeling all of this but not let it dictate my actions. Was I capable of accepting the death of those around me and not let my grief turn into hatred? Was I capable of processing it all and letting it go? If I was in a situation where I couldn't really take my time to process it all, how would I react?

Master Kenobi decided not to comment on my silence, at least not until we were on board the Negotiator. He had probably felt my struggle and decided to give me some time to sort it all out. Master Kenobi, I'd realized, was the type of Master to be quietly supportive. He would give you time to figure things out on your own and only interfere if things felt like they were getting out of hand. He was the kind of person who knows when to shut up and when to interfere.

Unlike Master Plo, who decided to simply wait until I came to him with my concerns because he knew I trusted him enough to do so, and he trusted me to figure things out on my own in turn. I guess it was because of the nature of each master. Kenobi might have been a good negotiator, but at the end of the day he was a Guardian, always would be. There was no way he would stand idly by when he felt turmoil within his Padawan.

"You've been awfully quiet since we left orbit." He was trying to be casual about it, asking only when the only people around were a few maintenance droids and the hangar crew. "Don't get me wrong, it is nice to have a Padawan who can stay still for a change, but the Force does not lie, Kriari. What's on your mind?"

I smiled, I'd have to ask him about that some other time.

"I don't know if Master Plo ever told you, but I'm not good with emotions -feeling them that is." I started "I'm more mentally oriented and feelings confuse me a lot. I'm trying to sort mine out and understand them. That way, if I know how I respond emotionally to certain situations, I can know what to expect of myself in the future. It makes not giving into them a bit easier."

This seemed to amuse Obi-Wan.

"Emotions are very volatile, and they are meant to be felt, not thought, young one. Analysing them will only get you so far."

We started to make our way out of the hangar and towards the elevators, we had to meet with Commander Cody for debriefing and status reports on the 212th.

"I know that, Master, but it doesn't hurt to try. It's also an excuse to reevaluate my relationships with the people around me. I might not have acted on impulse in Orto Plutonia, but I did let my feelings get the best of me. Charman Cho-"

"You did nothing wrong in Orto Plutonia, Kriari. The Chairman was a test on the resolve of all of us present. Not acting on your emotions does not mean you don't get to feel them. You are entitled to your own opinion on the man and his actions. The Force knows it was a test for all three of us to keep it together." He said as the doors to the upper level opened. "You forget you are a Padawan, this is the time for you to make mistakes and learn from them, don't be so hard on yourself."

It was at times like these that I realized just how lucky I had been when I'd been assigned both my masters. They were understanding and compassionate, but they knew where to draw the line. Master Kenobi, as a Guardian, often took a more direct approach to every situation, while Master Plo was willing to wait and let things pan out before acting. It was a good thing that I was Padawan to both. One appealed to my rational side, and the other to my intuition, but both of them knew where my priorities lied and respected that.

Cody was waiting for us at the bridge, but the Force around him wasn't calm and collected as usual, something had happened. If I'd felt it, then Master Kenobi had too, but when I looked at him all I saw was his unmoveable exterior. To me, Master Plo felt safe because he was a comforting presence, someone who would validate your fears but guide you through them. Master Kenobi -on the other hand- felt safe because he was strong, supporting, immovable like a pillar holding the ceiling above your head even in the face of an earthquake.

"You have news for us, I gather, Cody." Said my Master.

"I do, Sir," started the commander before turning on a holo map on the tactical table. "We have received a transmission from Naboo. Senator Amidala has found a Separatist lab within the system and has requested Jedi intervention."

What was the saying, again? No rest for the wicked?

...

I adjusted my new armour as I exited my quarters aboard the Negotiator. After the other set had been all but melted off my back, Master Kenobi put a few of his men to work on a new one. This one still had the original gray design of the Pack on the left arm, but the right one now sported a straight yellow line that ran from my shoulder to my wrist. The chest piece had been left its original white, and the symbol of the Jedi order had been moved to where my heart was. When I asked about it, Master Kenobi shot a side glance at Cody and grinned. The Clone Commander blushed lightly. It was so that I could blend in easier in the 212th -he said- scratching nervously at the back of his head. It was heartwarming, the fact that -even after working together for a short while- Cody was still welcoming me into the battalion as if I'd been there the entire time.

Clone loyalty was something that had baffled me from the very beginning. Even during the first assault on Geognosis, the clones had welcomed me in as one of their own, and even after that, some of them remained my closest friends. Art, Twitch, Boost, Wolffe, and even Headfirst had shown their loyalty time and time again. Not only by saving my life and having my back, but also by showing me they cared.

Wolffe tried to keep me safe at every turn, he monitored me closer than anyone else and made sure I was level headed in the field. Art made sure not to pry every time I sat down to get tattooed. He knew the weight of those names, he never asked how many names I had left, or if I was planning to stop at some point. He made sure each stroke was precise so it didn't need going over. He never asked if I was tired of it or if I didn't think I had too many already. Twitch made sure to check on my mental health even when he wasn't assigned to watch me, he would recommend books or bands or holo shows to keep my mind entertained and away from the battlefield. Headfirst made sure to spar with me every time one of us had the time, and he insisted it was so that I wouldn't lose my touch.

And the men of the 212th were starting to warm up to me quickly too. Their loyalty to their General extended to me as well, so it took little convincing for them to acknowledge me as a part of their battalion.

They had all proved to me time and time again that they would be risking their lives for me as much as I'd been doing for them, not because it was their duty, but because they wanted to keep me alive.

I double checked that I had both my lightsaber and my Kel Dor mask before finally stepping into the hangar. I decided that -since we were going to infiltrate a laboratory- it was in my best interest to have something to help filter the air around me. I did not put it past the separatists to use biological warfare when it would clearly give their droid forces an advantage over an army of life forms. Even if blowing up the entire facility would only compromise Naboo instead of the dozens of systems they were aiming for.

After receiving further information from Naboo, Masters Kenobi and Skywalker decided that a smaller taskforce was probably better in close quarters. Master Kenobi and I would be taking a single squad made up of two teams of four. The bomb diffusing team would go in with General Kenobi, and the assault team would come with me. Master Skywalker and Ahsoka would be doing the same. The aim was to capture the lab, its resident chemist and rescue both Senator Amidala and Representative Binks without setting off any of the bombs that contained an airborne version of the Blue Shadow virus. It was a delicate operation, and the stakes were higher than ever.

My master and the rest of the squad were waiting for me aboard the LAAT/i that would take us to the surface where we would have one last briefing before storming the facility. The men were doing last minute checks on their armour integrity and weapons function as the pilot closed the blast doors and carefully started the taking off sequence. In my head I went over the plan once again and did a mental checklist on everything I had on me. Mask, check; lightsaber, check; armour, check; names of the team…

I realized I had never worked closely with any of the 212th before, and there had been no time for introductions right then, rescue missions needed to be quick. I introduced myself to the four troopers that would be working with me. Waxer, Boil, T.H. and Ginger introduced themselves in turn. they had heard a lot about me from Rex, they said. Which only made me dread what the Captain might have told them. I hoped nothing about my tendency to catch fire.

But there was no time for that now. We arrived at Theed in no time, and there was a meeting to attend. The plan was simple: Ahsoka and I would be leading our teams through one of the lab's entrances and creating a distraction so that our Masters could disarm the bombs and rescue the hostages. I was confident we could make it with minimal casualties. And even if ours was the most action packed mission, I would rather face droids than try and diffuse bombs before the virus killed us all.

As it turns out, it didn't really matter what I wanted. In war, if something could go wrong, it would. And this mission was no exception.

#TWP #clone wars fan fiction #star wars the clone wars #plo koon #commander wolffe #obi-wan kenobi #ahsoka tano #captain rex #padawan!oc

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ashbournerp · 3 years

Photo

From the ashes, rises Bineta Mbaye (Anna Diop FC), The Protector, Duchess of Stone Garden. Penned by Lian

Wow! We are absolutely in awe of our Duchess of Sacred Wood. The way you depicted her family’s rule, as well as the nuances of the Sacred Wood’s place amidst the Kingdom of Ashbourne is so down-to-Earth and true to life! We admire Bineta’s pride and protection over the Sacred Wood, as well as how she endeavors to combat misconceptions about their land. We can’t wait to see her on our dash!

Out of Character (OOC)

Name/Alias: Lian

Age: 26

Pronouns: She/Her

Timezone: GMT +5

Triggers: None

Activity: (Removed for privacy)

In Character (IC)

Character Name: Bineta Mbaye

Age: 30

Selected Skeleton: The Protector

Dukedom: Sacred Woods

Faceclaim: Anna Diop

Pronouns: She/Her

Her name was entirely a coincidence. Just Ruler. Though given her mother’s love for anything poetic, Bineta was told that her mother’s denials were rather half-hearted. Not to mention the secret smile she had on her lips while she held her first born child in her arms on that rainy day. But then it always rained where they lived. Bineta loved the rain though. Truly, she loved everything there was about her home. The trees, the plants, the animals, the mythical creatures. From an early age she would accompany her father, who was a rather hands-on ruler himself, and see with her own eyes how their dukedom ran. With the addition of four younger siblings, it was quite the gaggle of Royal Children that roamed around the Sacred Woods with their father. Life was simple for young Bineta. The Woods was their home. And they would protect it, always.

Given the location of their homes, built in the branches and in trees, accidents were prone to happen. And one rainy day, while on his way to attend a meeting, her father somehow slipped and fell. The fall was not a small one, and given the intensity of the rain, it took hours before they could find him, but by then it was too late to tend to him. Her mother’s health seemed to spiral afterwards. She sank into a despair from which she never recovered. From that day on, she never spoke a word, and barely ate and slept. A few days after her husband’s funeral, she vanished, never to be heard of again. Loosing both parents came as a big shock to Bineta and her siblings. As well as the entire dukedom. Since she was of age, and next in line, Bineta took charge as best as she could. She remembered all that her father had taught her. She appointed her siblings to various posts and positions. All they had was one another now, and Bineta trusted them more then anyone else in the entire Kingdom.

With the death of one parent, and the disappearance of the other, a fierceness awoke within her. One that fanned the flames burning within her for years. Her people were always treated with some sort of disdain and contempt by the rest of the Kingdom. As a young girl she had been aware of such matters, but her father had shielded her from the worst. Once she took charge of the dukedom all the ugly truths came to light. And Bineta was furious. They were looked down upon just because they were the only humans to still live in something akin to harmony with creatures that were beyond anyone’s understanding, and because her people preferred to live in trees. It didn’t matter that the people of the Sacred Woods brewed and produced medicines for the entire Kingdom. An art form that took years to perfect. Neither did it matter that people came from near and far seeking a physician from the Woods to cure some sort of ailment that they had. To the rest of the Kingdom they were the closest to what could be labeled as barbarians. A word that made Bineta’s blood boil with a rage that knew no end. The other dukedoms were wrapped up in their own games of politics and power. Bineta would hang before she allowed her people to be tangled up in those schemes. She would protect her home, her people and, most of all, her family. Even if it would mean her death. For the Woods she would do anything.

Personality:

+ Persevere: Bineta never shied away from a challenge or a problem. Once while playing a game against her cousins, she and her siblings were dead last when it came to the score. Her siblings were ready to give up but not Bineta. She pushed her siblings into playing until the final second. And a good thing too, for it was a sort of test set by their father to teach them a little lesson. The lesson was lost to her younger siblings but not to her. Her father praised took her aside and praised her for taking action despite there being next to no hope for them.

+ Compassionate: Since she is the oldest of five children, Bineta learned to take charge early on when it came to her siblings. But with taking charge she had to learn to be soft as well. Particularly with the two youngest siblings who would always remain rather soft spoken and gentle. With so many creatures coexisting with them, Bineta learned to show kindness to all of them. She believes in treating people how she would want to be treated. Unless the other had done some kind of harm to another, then they would have to face her wrath. Kindness may not be something she was born with, but she learned to that particular trait and has stuck to it ever since.

- Blunt: When it comes to speaking her mind, Bineta has never been one to hold back. It has served to get her into more then a few skirmishes growing up. Be it a minor inquiry about the color of a dress, or her opinion of the Kingdom and its politics, Bineta’s response has always been direct and to the point. She does not believe in hiding the truth. In her opinion, nothing good ever comes out of doing so. Better to be honest and truthful. Even if it means hurting one’s feelings, or making dangerous enemies.

- Obstinate: If one wishes to change her mind, they must have a good and solid reason to pursue such a course, for changing her opinion about something or someone is next to impossible. When she makes up her mind, Bineta sticks to it. An unbending mind, as one would say. She does take into account all and every factor before making up her mind, but once she does its next to impossible to change it.

#accepted #anna diop fc #fantasy rp #new rp #original rp

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thegeminisage · 5 years

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we were robbed: the morgana & arthur edition

i have a well-worded and very-thought-out meta about this brewing in me but i don’t have time for all that so have this instead (spoilers obviously):

arthur & morgana didn’t know they were brother and sister but in actuality they would have GROWN UP like brother and sister because (though we don’t have any ages) it’s implied that morgana came to uther quite young

season 1 has them acting all flirty with a touch of antagonism but if they had had their shit together from the start there would have been nothing but (somewhat loving) antagonism from the get-go

a nice thing to have done would have been for someone to suggest arthur/morgana and for them both to look genuinely disgusted (”he’s like my BROTHER”/”she’s like my SISTER”) instead of “i’m pretending to be disgusted but secretly i’d hit it” because it would have been really funny come season 3 when the reveal came thru

here’s the thing about siblings, particularly when there are only just the two of you and you’re very close in age: siblings know you better than anyone. if you grow up with someone they have been witness to all of your weird obsessions and awkward phases and stupid crushes and bad ideas. they are often the only playmate of your age and so you spend 100% of your time together whether you like it or not. you learn to tolerate them and vice versa. you know what will make them happy. you know what will piss them off. there is no one you hate more than your sibling. there is no one you love more than your sibling. no one else on earth can make you so angry or so happy. they are your partner in crime and/or the one framing you for murder. they will help you bury a body and mock you mercilessly for it for the rest of time. siblings are your life companion until one of you becomes an adult. in a perfect world, nobody would have ever, ever, EVER understood arthur and morgana as well as they understood each other - absolutely no one else on earth can comprehend what it’s like to grow up where you grew up with the parents that you had except someone who did it with you

AND THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED FOR ARTHUR AND MORGANA

imagine a canon where when morgana says in season 1 that SHE ALONE can convince arthur to defy their father and get him to do (whatever dumb thing - kill the afanc, find the morteus flower, etc) it’s not because of her Womanly Wiles it’s because she grew up with this IDIOT and she knows him better than he knows himself

imagine a canon where arthur and morgana’s relationship more closely resembles merlin and arthur’s just for the SHEER AMOUNT of insults traded - and morgana hardly has to mind her tongue the way merlin sometimes does because she and arthur are nearly of equal station

shooting each other rude looks behind uther’s back at dinner, absolutely roasting people at court under their breath, roasting each OTHER under their breath, scheming to get away with mad plots right under uther’s nose, tattling on each other when one of them was holding a grudge, alternatively arch-enemies and thick as thieves, that’s SIBLINGHOOD, babey. like this except if morgana wasn’t lying

you know what i think? if morgana and arthur had been written as proper siblings, arthur would have been one of the first people morgana confessed the truth about her magic to. yes sometimes it’s hard to tell people close to you about that shit, but we didn’t see morgana so much as CONSIDER telling arthur the truth in canon. arthur, as morgana’s adoptive-not-adoptive brother, would be one of the most important people in her life (and vice versa). if magic = gay, there’s no way she wouldn’t asking probing questions such as “so hypothetically if you found out someone you loved had magic what would you do” (more subtle than that because she’s not merlin but you get the idea - that’s what the gays do with our straight siblings. we test for homophobia.)

like if arthur had come for her when he thought the druids kidnapped her because he was actually as distraught and worried as uther was and she, instead of freaking out and fleeing, begged him to cover for her because she wanted to stay - THAT’S WHAT SIBLINGS DO. they ask impossibly hard shit of each other and then they owe one another favors for the rest of their lives. morgana and arthur should have been RIDE OR DIE for each other. that arthur would have fucking covered for her or at least been really torn about it and really fucked up that he didn’t, if he chose not to

i would have loved to see arthur struggle more with the fact that was not only morgana his biological sister but she was magical - and yeah he didn’t find out until morgana had turned ~evil~ but THAT IS WHAT WE WERE ROBBED OF

as a matter of fact arthur only gets about 5 total minutes of screentime in the same frame as morgana AT BEST! after she pulls off the sister & magic reveals but in every bit of it he is fucking HEARTBROKEN. arthur’s more fucked up about morgana than merlin is and it’s merlin’s stupid fault she went darkside to begin with

look at the tears in her eyes. he’s so sad to see her like this. he calls her MY LADY even when she’s trying to murder them all. arthur grew up with morgana. arthur must have loved her SO MUCH. she would without a doubt be someone he considered his immediate family. there’s a million and one fanfics about arthur changing his mind about magic after he discovers someone he loves (merlin) would be killed for having it, but almost none of them deal with how arthur would take the revelation that morgana, his sister in all but name (at least until he finds out she’s actually his biological sister too), has magic, and would have to be put to death according to the law

like. ok. he sent merlin out of town when merlin was facing execution over something as simple as STEALING in 2.06, he helped mordred escape the chopping block in 1.08, he pled gwen’s case in 1.03 when he thought she was a sorceress for real, do we really think he wouldn’t have fought for morgana?

moving on: morgana died nearly right in front of arthur and we get 0 emotional reaction from him - typical. granted he was also dying, but a word exchanged about how the pendragon line ended with the two of them on the same day would not have gone amiss.

think of the PARALLELS - they both died from a sword forged in a dragon’s breath, when their father was the one who drove the dragons to extinction

LIKE: morgana wanting arthur to lift the ban on magic SO BADLY yet being the reason arthur remains convinced he can’t - because he watched his bright sweet compassionate and brave sister become someone cold and ruthless - watched her pain morph her into someone not unlike uther, who also used his pain as an excuse to kill people

arthur wanting morgana to stop her crusade EQUALLY badly but HE’S the reason she remains convinced she can’t do that EITHER because he still won’t lift the fucking ban

(AND LET US NEVER FORGET THAT THEY BOTH HAVE THAT FIREBRAND PENDRAGON RAGE - when arthur gets mad he gets GOOD and mad - both of them tried to kill uther, both of them at one point attempted to or actually did disown him once they were able to fully comprehend the extent of his crimes)

their reconciliation could have been so good. morgana insisting that magic didn’t make her this way, people did - people like arthur and uther. as good as arthur’s moment at the druid shrine in 4.10 was, that same moment and emotion should have gone to morgana in late season 4 or 5 (preferably while she was beating his face in with him making no effort to stop her winter soldier style lmao)

man ok arthur and merlin’s grand tragic not-quite-romance was good and fucked up and i love it to death, but SIBLING RELATIONSHIPS are so fucking powerful. they’re messy and difficult but most of all they’re ENDURING because you just can’t pick your family

and they had such a good character and good relationship RIGHT THERE with morgana and they WASTED all of their potential

thats ALL IM SAYING. ok. thank u and goodnight

#personal #merlin blogging #bbc merlin #liz's meta #liz's merlin stuff #i guess is gonna have to be a tag i use #long post #sorry for the amanda palmer song but like #they say u can catch it but sometimes ur born with it HELLO that's magic babey #liz makes stuff

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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The Walking Dead: What “Here’s Negan” Changes from the Comic

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This article contains spoilers for The Walking Dead season 10 episode 22.

Negan (no last name given…or needed) is one of the most unexpectedly beloved characters on The Walking Dead. Loquacious, charismatic, and unfailingly vulgar, Negan practically jumps off the page of Robert Kirkman’s comic series, and makes a big impact through Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s performance of the AMC series.

Over 193 issues of Kirkman’s comic, it became clear that the writer was just as enthralled with the brutish villain as the fans were. It would have been easy to kill Negan off at the end of the extended All Out War arc. Rick even slashed the man’s throat! But Kirkman made sure the jerk lived to fight another day and he soon became an integral part of the Whisperer War before finally retiring to a life of quiet contemplation in the woods.

Prior to Negan gracefully exiting the pages of The Walking Dead, however, Kirkman and longtime illustrator Charlie Adlard presented his origin story in a miniseries called “Here’s Negan.” Told over 16 short chapters and published in its entirety in 2017, “Here’s Negan” tells the story of how a lowly gym teacher came to be a bat-wielding, leather jacketed badass in the post-apocalypse.

Not that readers needed a reason to love the antagonist more, but the miniseries added a new sympathetic layer to the character and revealed how he broke bad. Now, in the finale of its six extra season 10 episodes, The Walking Dead TV series will be doing the same thing.

The Walking Dead season 10 episode 22 “Here’s Negan” serves as a fitting conclusion to a super-sized year for the show, while also filling in some of the blanks on Negan’s story. Here is how it does so along with what it borrows and what it changes from its comic miniseries inspiration.

Lucille’s Introduction

The characterization of Negan’s wife Lucille and her failing health going into the zombie apocalypse represents the biggest similarities between “Here’s Negan” on the page and on the screen. In fact, there’s really only one key difference between the comic and the TV adaptation. In the comic, Lucille dies right as the zombie apocalypse breaks out. In the show, Lucille makes it to at least seven months into the end of the world.

Aside from the time and setting difference, much of Negan and Lucille’s arc remains the same. The “Here’s Negan” comic reveals that Negan was every bit the charming asshole pre-zombies that he is now. The story opens with Negan, a gym teacher, mercilessly schooling three kids in a game of ping pong in his garage. Because he’s Negan, he can’t quite help but cuss them out upon his victory (just as he does while pwning some n00bs in a game of Gears of War in the episode). Lucille overhears Negan behaving inappropriately in front of the children and begins to tell him off. Unfortunately, shortly into her admonishment, she passes out.

The Walking Dead Season 10 “Here’s Negan” Finale Gives the Villain a Chance to Save Lucille

By John Saavedra

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The Walking Dead Comic Returns with ‘Negan Lives’

By Alec Bojalad

The story then cuts to the hospital where Lucille’s diagnosis is revealed. Shortly thereafter Negan sleeps with the woman who he has been cheating on Lucille with (yes, even after hearing about her cancer). Thankfully, after that tryst, Negan finally breaks the affair off and returns to Lucille’s bed side where he apologizes and tells her he’s all in now. We get a fun little example of Lucille’s sense of humor (and maybe her current state of mind) when she tells him “What’s wrong with you? Why would you pick the sick one?”

Shortly thereafter, Negan is present with Lucille at the hospital when the world ends. Doctors rush into Lucille’s room to tell Negan to run as some seriously messed up stuff is underway outside and within the halls of the hospital. Negan refuses to leave Lucille’s side naturally, but she passes away suddenly and becomes Negan’s first introduction to the walking dead.

The TV series does an admirable job in picking out what works about the beginning of “Here’s Negan” while finding ways to improve everything else. Getting to see what Lucille is like after the fall is a great way for the audience to warm up to her. Even when suffering through another round of chemo, Lucille musters the energy to take down a walker when Negan can’t.

This change also allows for Negan to mourn her loss more acutely when the time comes. Having to put down a zombified Lucille long after he’s acclimated to the world’s deadly new rules has a greater emotional impact than having to do so right at the beginning.

On the Road

The TV version of “Here’s Negan” begins to deviate from the comic quite a bit after the Lucille origin story is out of the way. The middle portion of the comic miniseries finds Negan doing what pretty much every other character has had to do: wandering out on the post-apocalyptic streets, looking for company, community, and safety.

While the TV Negan struggles to put down a single walker, the comic Negan is preternaturally gifted at both zombie-killing and survival. He encounters one group while promising he can hotwire a car (he cannot). Later on that night, Negan and the group face their first real test of the apocalypse when a horde of walkers attacks their campfire gathering. All of his new friends die, but Negan survives and loots the baseball bat that will one day become the new “Lucille” off of one of their corpses.

Negan surviving while his new partners die becomes something of a recurring theme. We see a montage of Negan making new acquaintance after new acquaintance, only for them to prove incapable of making it in this harsh new world. When his latest partner reveals she sustains a zombie bite on her neck, Negan reacts in pure rage.

“I’m sick of you people. You’re all fucking WEAK. ALL YOU EVER DO IS DIE.”

Negan wants to find someone strong, someone who can survive like him and who won’t break his heart by dying. He eventually finds just that in a group led by Dwight (hey, remember him?) and Sherry.

Negan’s origin story in the TV series, of course, differs a great deal. Since Lucille is still alive in the apocalypse, Negan’s inciting moment to get him on the road and moving is the need to secure more medicine for her.

What’s interesting about this alteration for the show is how it potentially changes Negan’s motivation for society-building. In the comic, Negan comes to view strength as its own virtue – because in the new world strength is the only way to avoid pain. But the people that Negan comes across in the episode are anything but strong.

Franklin and Laura (who fulfills Dwight and Sherry’s role as the “hey, I’ve seen that person before!” character) are unfailingly kind and compassionate. That only makes them an easy target for the Valaks Vipers MCs of the world. The comic version of Negan might be disgusted by Franklin and Laura’s charity and therefore weakness. In the show, however, it’s their selfless act that encourages him to take up the mantle of being the badass who can “save the world.”

Negan Becomes Negan

Speaking of being a badass, both the comic and TV versions of “Here’s Negan” feature a moment in which the character self-actualizes into the Savior leader we come to know later on. In the comic that moment comes when Negan gets a chance to display one of his only truly decent qualities: his hatred for sexual violence.

Soon after Negan joins Dwight’s group, he becomes their de facto leader. He’s simply too strong and his survival instincts are too good to be ignored. The others start to follow him, not Dwight, because they seem to instinctively understand that he’s their best bet for survival. Eventually the burgeoning Saviors encounter another group and invite them in to join forces because strength can be found in numbers.

Unfortunately that group’s leader soon implies to Negan that the women with them are sex slaves. Negan acts quickly and instinctively, beating the man to death with his beloved bat. After the deed is done, Negan begins to ominously adorn the bat with barbed wire while telling the rest of the group that they’re free to stay. He articulates his new modus operandi in the verbose way that a newly-born supervillain can. It was Lucille who made Negan stronger and gave him the armor to survive when all the people around him couldn’t. Now with this new barbed wire Lucille, Negan will finally be able to protect those around him, shielding them from the evils to come.

It’s a typically overwrought Negan speech, blunted by the Glenn-murdering version of Negan we know is yet to come. But if you squint a bit, you can kind of see how Negan’s mission of protection could become one of subjugation and domination. Negan really thought he was saving the world, one swing of Lucille at a time, because he was the only one strong enough to do so. It wasn’t until he came up against the power of Rick Grimes’s egalitarian group that he realized he was mistaken.

Was The Walking Dead Planning to Go Past the Comic Stories?

By Joseph Baxter

The Walking Dead Season 11 Trailer Might Be Teasing an Urban Setting

By Alec Bojalad

Negan comes to a similar conclusion in this episode, he just takes a different route to getting there. After Lucille mercy kills herself and Negan is forced to put her zombified form down, he returns to confront the Valaks Vipers. Once the goons are dispatched outside, Negan can’t help but opt for theatrics once again. He puts the Viper leader on his knees for his very first “lineup,” though this time it’s a lineup of one.

He tells the Viper the story of how he got into a bar fight one night that jeopardized his gym teacher career. All he wanted to do was to listen to “You Are So Beautiful” with Lucille at a bar. But one particular loud mouth had other ideas. So Negan beat him up. Now that the world has ended it seems like only the loudmouths and douchebags are left. Truly decent, selfless people like Franklin and Laura at a premium. And when you find them among the zombies you must do whatever it takes to protect them. Who better to project the weak and the meek from the monsters than the ultimate monster – Negan, himself.

At that, my friends, is how you get a Negan.

The episodic “Here’s Negan” ends with a touching little coda where Negan lays his shattered bat to rest and finally, verbally says goodbye to the flesh and blood Lucille. His full eulogy is as follows.

“I’m sorry that I named a stupid baseball bat after you. I hope you found someone in the afterlife and you are screwing your brains out. Well, not really. But fair is fair. I miss you. I love the shit out of you. And I am gonna do your fighting for you.”

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Here, The Walking Dead is borrowing directly from the comics once again, but not from “Here’s Negan.” Issue 162 of the comic series opens with Negan burying Lucille, which was destroyed in The Whisperer War. His parting words are nearly identical right down to “I’m sorry that I named a stupid baseball bat after you” and the colorful passage about brains being screwed out in heaven. This is a particularly important passage for The Walking Dead season 10 to go out on. For while the comic version and Jeffrey Dean Morgan version of Negan have their differences, their stories start and end in the same place: Lucille.

The post The Walking Dead: What “Here’s Negan” Changes from the Comic appeared first on Den of Geek.

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#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

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supersaiyadaddy · 4 years

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Dystopia Reading Recommendations by my friend Victoria H:

All Good Children by Catherine Austin

The American government has developed a treatment to cure teenage delinquency which is bad news for 17 year old Maxwell, graffiti artist and angry, young man. This novel is a chilling look into the future of social control using pharmaceuticals.

Angel Fall by Susan Ee

One of the few books on this list I haven’t read, but book sellers and readers alike love this series. I’m looking forward to reading how 17 year old Penryn Young survives when warrior angels attack San Francisco, beginning the apocalypse.

Children of Eden by Joey Grace

Rowan is her parent’s second child, which in a world of strict population control, makes her not just illegal but marked for death. Another novel recommended by my bookseller best friend which has received rave reviews.

Gone series by Michael Grant

I’m honestly not a huge fan of this series, but mine is definitely a minority opinion. One day, all the adults are simply gone with no explanation, leaving teens suddenly in charge of a world of children. A scary scenario which becomes more perilous as animals and the remaining humans begin to change, developing dangerous supernatural abilities.

Sixteen by Julia Karr

One of the lesser known books on this list, but one of my favourites as unlike so many other dystopias the setting isn’t also the plot. Nina is nervous about her fast approaching sixteenth birthday when she’ll receive a government mandated tattoo indicating she is now sexually available. After her mother is attacked, Nina discovers that everything she’s been told her about post-sixteen life is a horrible lie.

Legend series by Marie Lu

In the dystopian Republic, June is a fifteen year old military prodigy determined to capture her country’s most wanted criminal, fifteen year old Day, a survivor of the slums. Both think they know everything about their world, but both the hunter and the hunted will be profoundly changed when they learn the truth. The whole series is a must read.

The Hive by Barry Lyga and Morgan Baden

To rein in online bullying, the government now controls who is targeted for mob justice, and what level of punishment is deserved. Teenaged Cassie has had every reason to believe in the fairness of this system, until one online joke makes her a target of a violent punishment far in excess of her crime. Fully believable and scary; I couldn’t put the book down until I reached the end.

Bumped by Megan McCafferty

A fascinating novel of what happens when fertility is limited to the teenage years, and the competition is fierce for the privilege of impregnating the smartest, healthiest and best looking girls. Melody, who scores high on all three categories, believes she’s the luckiest girl in the world until she discovers she has an identical twin sister, Harmony, who is determined to save her from a sinful future.

The Knife of Never Letting Go series by Patrick Ness

On an alien world, a small community of human men have the ability to hear each other’s thoughts. But when soon to be 13 year old Todd discovers that the Noise of everyone’s thoughts isn’t as omnipresent as he’s been told, he’s forced to flee for his life. For there are many dark, violent secrets on this world where keeping secrets should be impossible.

Burn Mark by Laura Powell (sequel Witch Fire)

In an England where the Inquisition never ended and witches are still burned, developing the ability to do magic during your adolescence is a curse almost no one wants. Glory is determined to embrace her gifts despite them trapping her in a life of crime. By contrast, Lucas, son of a Chief Inquisitor, feels cursed by his developing powers which are threatening everything he ever wanted. These novels contain one of the more realistic depictions of the practice of magic, and of the oppressive history of British social classes.

Divergent Series by Veronica Roth

A very well known series, but unfortunately much maligned due to the declining quality of the movie sequels. However, the books themselves, especially the first two, are a compelling portrayal of a society at war with itself. I couldn’t help but root for Tris and Four, two young people determined not to allow violent prejudice limit how they live their lives.

They Both Die at the End by Adam Silvera

In this near future, computers predict with unfailing accuracy who will die in the next twenty-four hours. Two very different teenage boys receive the much dreaded notification, and as the hours pass for them, you will question with increasing anxiety how accurate the title of this novel is.

Scythe Trilogy by Neal Shusterman

On an Earth where humans have conquered death, Scythes are responsible for compassionately ‘gleaning’ a quota of people to keep the burgeoning population under control. Two teenagers, Citra and Rowan, are unwillingly recruited as apprentices. Soon, their own lives will be on the line as there’s a growing movement within the Scythedom to destroy the rules that limit their ability to kill.

Unwind Series by Neal Shusterman

And if you thought the world of Scythe was twisted, this dystopian series by the same author is set after an American civil war where the opposing sides reached a terrifying compromise. Abortion is now illegal, but between the ages of 13 and 18, unruly teenagers can be sent by their parents to be ‘unwound.’ A process that claims it allows the teen to live on in their donated organs inside more worthwhile citizens. Despite this bizarre premise, the author manages to create a very convincing and terrifying future.

The Amulet of Samarkand by Jonathan Stroud (first book of the Bartimaeus series)

In this alternative universe, the British Empire dominates the world because British magicians are able to summon and control powerful demons. When Nathaniel, a young apprentice magician, decides to summon a djinn to get revenge on his teacher, he’s immediately in way over his head. For Bartimaeus is a conniving and hilarious demon, who is often too smart for his own good. If we lived in a just universe, people would have lined up for these books like they did for the Harry Potter series.

Uglies series by Scott Westerfeld

A well known dystopian series that deserves all the praise it has received. Tally has been told all her life that she’s ugly, that everyone is until they turn sixteen and extensive cosmetic surgery transforms them into a Pretty. Tally has eagerly awaited this transformation all her life, until she makes a friend who doesn’t want the surgery as it does far more than just alter outside appearances. This whole series is well worth reading.

The Chrysalids by John Wyndham

A classic from the 1950s that’s still easily available for good reason. This novel is set in a post-nuclear war Labrador where any mutation from ‘the norm,’ no matter how small, is feared and hated. Suspect crops are burned, mutant animals are slaughtered, and any human who appears abnormal is sterilized and exiled to the dangerous, radioactive Fringes. David Storm believes he’s lucky because his differences and those of his friends are invisible. But the arrival of his sister Petra, whose telepathic abilities outstrip all of theirs, threatens to expose them all.

An Introduction to Zombies:

Zombies Versus Unicorns edited by Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier

An amazing anthology of short stories about zombies or unicorns by some of the best YA authors. Funny, disturbing and moving stories of the zombie apocalypse alongside unicorn stories like none you’ve ever read before.

The Girl with All the Gifts by Mike Carey

Told from the perspective of ten year old Melanie, the titular girl, this tense thriller takes place in a world where a fungal infection has transformed much of humanity into cannibalistic hungries. This novel tackles all the hard questions of what makes someone human, but never falters from being an entertaining and scary page turner. Also, the movie adaption is as excellent as the book.

Rot and Ruin Series by Jonathan Maberry

Fourteen years after zombies first appeared, the United States has reverted to the Old West, with small towns surrounded by the rot and ruin of civilization. Benny Imura, 15, doesn’t remember what life was like before, but wants to believe there’s more to existence than living behind tall fences and locked doors. But zombies aren’t the only dangers beyond the town’s borders. This entire series is an Intelligent, compelling and believable version of a zombie apocalypse.

This is Not a Test by Courtney Summers

Barricaded in a high school in a small Canadian town, Sloane Price and five other teens try to survive a zombie outbreak, their troubled pasts, and each other. A tense, smart thriller I couldn’t put down. Warning: themes of suicide and child abuse. There’s a sequel novella, Please Remain Calm, that I haven’t read yet, but it’s available on kindle.

Peeps by Scott Westerfield

This is smart, scary book where zombies aren’t caused by a disease, but a parasite which turns people into cannibals who hate everything they used to love. Warning: the teen protagonist, Cal, has become an expert on all kinds of parasites and describes them in graphic detail. But if you have a strong enough stomach, this is one of the most unique visions of zombies from an excellent writer. There’s a sequel that’s hard to get called The Last Days that’s shamefully still on my pile of to be read.

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shenlongshao · 4 years

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GG Strive Thoughts: Part 3

Welcome to the last part of my Guilty Gear Strive thoughts!^_^ I'll be focusing on the art-style and character designs, so there will be lots of pictures in this post. I hope you enjoy reading!

Art-Style & Graphics ---------------

Guilty Gear's visuals always had a detailed, Sci-Fi fantasy anime look with creativity of the 1990s and early 2000s. This mostly stayed the same until Xrd SIGN, which introduced 3D cel-shaded graphics in a new way. The art-style also changed a bit from previous games, although it has kept its creativity.

GG Xrd SIGN and the following games(Revelator and Revelator 2) look beautiful, but it took me a while to get used to the art-style because of those dreaded chins. The characters should've just used their chins to fight cause of how long and pointy they are; just go "SLLASSHHHH!" XD Certain features of characters were exaggerated like Sol's shoulders being a bit too wide for his body or how Baiken's hair is thicker and spikier. Some people say it's "too anime", but that isn't the right word for it. I would say "whimsical" is main trait from the art-style, which is fitting for how funny the interactions are in-game and lighter tone in story.

Guilty Gear Strive keeps the cel-shaded 3D graphics, but manages to expand it further. Instead of its presentation akin to an anime TV series, it's now akin to a high-budget anime movie with detail given to both the characters and the environments. It's less whimsical this time, giving the impression the story will be darker in tone. I'm really happy the art-style was changed to being closer to the older GG games like X2; no more ice-cream cone chins!XD The characters also got redesigned to match the essence of the new game. I'll be talking about eachone in order from least to most in terms of design changes. I'll also rate them in Guilty Gear style grade form. POTEMKIN ------------------- There seems to be mixed reactions when Potemkin got revealed for GG Strive. Some were happy he looked generally the same while others were a little disappointed and asked, "How come he didn't get a huge redesign like the other characters?!" The answer is he already did; this is how Potemkin originally looked like in the GG series.

This design relates to Potemkin's story in the beginning. The Zepp empire in the past was a very corrupted, technology advanced nation. It contained battle-slaves with strength enhancement steriods and bound them with a special limiter. Potemkin was one of these battle-slaves with his huge, red metal color being the limiter. If he ever took it off, it would explode. However, Zepp was changed when Gabriel became President and freed all the Zeppian slaves, including Potemkin. He now serves as Gabriel's bodyguard out of genuine loyalty, gratitude, and care for his mentor and the renewed Zepp.

Judging on his old design by itself, I think he looked average(based on what he's wearing). His features definitely fit the saying "don't judge a book by its cover" because Potemkin is actually a gentle giant who's very intelligent. But the way he looks(except when interacting with certain characters), it's like he wants to break someone's bones, lol.

In the concept artwork in Guilty Gear X Plus(Japanese exclusive game), it hinted of what Potemkin will eventually developed into look-wise and story-wise. Even the pose from this pic was used later in Xrd SIGN. I really wish the design of the boots was used instead those weird looking ones he's wearing now, XD.

Now to look at Potemkin's design in Xrd SIGN.

This is Potemkin's drastic redesign needed because of the changes in his life and his resolve being tested. I love this design so much because it accurately portrays Potemkin's personality. The first is his steel helmet with a spike at the top, accented with the Zepp symbol at the center of his forehead. His face is mostly shrouded in darkness except for the glowing lens. The yellow ponytail fur attached adds to the essence of a modern steel knight. Next is the black collar having spikes at the front; he also has on spiked shoulder plates to emphasis his strength. The power part is also in the round-shaped limiters attached to the upper parts of his uniform and glove compartment of his gauntlets. The design of his gauntlets is derived from the GGX Plus concept art, except the gloves completely cover his fingers and has a robotic aesthetic to it. I notice green is the most dominant color in Potemkin's design and there's a reason why besides it being Zepp's uniform.

Here is the Green Personality taken from Color Psychology (https://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/personality-color-green.html):

You are a practical, down-to-earth person with a love of nature. You are stable and well balanced or are striving for balance - in seeking this balance, you can at times become unsettled and anxious. Having a personality color green means you are kind, generous and compassionate - good to have around during a crisis as you remain calm and take control of the situation until it is resolved.

You are caring and nurturing to others - however you must be careful not to neglect your own needs while giving to others. You are intelligent and love to learn - you are quick to understand new concepts. You are a good citizen and like to be involved in community groups. You have high moral standards and doing the right thing is important to you.

There is more, but I only taken pieces that describe Potemkin's personality, showing why green is his main color. Now onto his look in GG Strive starting with his helmet.

On the forehead of the helmet, the Zepp symbol is no longer a design mark, but an carved symbol with the words "Armor-clad faith" underneath. Instead of just darkness on his face, it accentuates the robotic aesthetic with the gears and the lens having an orange tint. Next is a full body screenshot of Potemkin.

The spiked shoulder plates is less noticeable and his uniform is more formal. There's now a maroon-red collar with white trim and yellow buttons. The spikes on the black collar part of his outfit is gone, there's thick pockets on the lower part of his suit and has a brown belt instead of black. His boots is also brown instead of black and the plates around his feet is orange instead of red. There's additional limiters on his upper back that is revealed when doing certain attacks, showing his power has grown more. His muscle mass has also gotten super HUGE to the point I wouldn't be surprised if he reached Sentinel(X-Men) size, XD.

Design Rating: S++(Fantastic!) SOL BADGUY ------------ ---------- Sol Badguy is the main protagonist, so there was never a worry or surprise of his GG Strive design. There's also the fact his design isn't really new; it's heavily derived from the artwork of Guilty Gear 2:Overture. But first is looking at Sol's most iconic design from the GG series.

I'll always love this design because I think it's stylish, cool, and timeless. He's handsome in the traditional tough-guy way and perfectly fits the anti-hero type. His metal red headband acts as a limiter for his Gear powers and has the words "Rock You" in the center of his forehead. Besides it symbolizing his love for Queen's "Sheer Heart Attack" music album and controlling his Gear powers, it also symbolizes how he keeps his inner thoughts to himself and close-mindedness. He wears a black undershirt layered with a sleeveless, chest-length red jacket with a buckle strap. This style is very unconventional, which is exactly Sol is; he doesn't follow typical conventions. His red and black gloves conveys his toughness while his belt with the "FREE" tells of his philosophy. This also hints complexity to his nature since the belt is from when he was in the Holy Order, an aspect of his past. This shows he's inwardly caring and values the people in life along with his experiences. Lastly, is his white pants accented with buckles and red shoes.

The GG2:Overture Short Stories goes into some detail of the events before the game like how he was entrusted to raise Sin(Ky & Dizzy's son), etc. The major difference with Sol's design from the short stories is he's wearing a sensible red jacket similar to his old one, but its design still has traits of being its own style. His black undershirt is slightly different with a small V-shape cut-out in the middle, longer sleeves, and slightly loose around his stomach instead of fitted. His gloves has more of a biker vibe to them and no aspect of red nor buckles within them. He still wears red shoes on his feet, though tweaked in its looks. While this did hinted of Sol's character development, it wasn't a large factor because alot of the huge events at the time and before were placed on him rather than him confronting it by himself. It's why for Xrd SIGN, he primary reverted to his iconic look, though his GG2:Overture Short Stories look did get tweaked and used within the game's Story Mode. Now for his GG Strive look.

His GG Strive design blends both his GG2:Overture Short Stories look and aspects of his iconic design, which I really like. The red jacket with black trim conveys his free-spirited persona, yet also comfortable and relaxed. There's also a little bit more white seen on the cuffs of his jacket, meaning his heart is more open. This relates to his character development of finally confronting his past, his feelings, and his relationships. But he's still Sol Badguy and there's much for him to find out and explore, especially since red and black is still his main colors. There is deep meaning to this too.

Red Personality(https://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/personality-color-red.html):

You are action oriented and physically active - sex is a necessity to you - you have strong survival instincts. Lovers of red are the explorers and pioneers of the world, the entrepreneurs and builders who like to be first in discovering new physical realms. You are always in a hurry, wanting to do everything right now. Patience is not one of your strong points. Red people can be aggressive and easy to anger, often exhibiting a violent temper - this is negative passion and energy. You flare up instantaneously but calm down quite quickly once you get it out of your system and then forget it ever happened. You have a strong need for power and control which is connected to your basic survival instincts.

Black Personality(https://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/personality-color-black.html):

You are independent, strong-willed and determined and like to be in control of yourself and situations. You may appear intimidating to even your closest colleagues and friends, with an authoritarian, demanding and dictatorial attitude. You hold things inside and are not good at sharing yourself with others, possibly out of fear. You may be retreating behind black during a difficult time in your life such as a serious illness or a period of grief - black protects, allowing for a deep inner healing without interference from others. I'll add traits of the color White since there's a noticeable amount on Sol.(https://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/color-white.html): Positive traits of White: Simplicity, self-efficient, growth/new beginnings, open, equality, rescuer, and sense of completion. These traits describe Sol. Overall, I like the design and feel it suits him well. Design Rating: S+++(Perfect!) MAY ----------- So far, May is the only female character revealed for the initial roster of GG Strive. There's mixed reactions with May's redesign for the new game. Some are happy she finally looks like she's in her early to mid teens(like 14 or 16) instead like a little girl. But others aren't happy with the changes to her outfit, saying it's bland. Let's look at May's iconic design.

In my opinion, May is the coolest looking child character. Her open-sides style coat with side slits layered with a skin-tight bodysuit blends both cute and stylish. Adding to it is the tricon pirate hat, silver plating on her wrists and neckline, and orange short boots with black trim. Lastly, a black belt is around her waist while buckles accents her orange coat. This shows she's spunky, cheerful, and deceptively strong. In the story, her origins was unknown at the time, which perfectly fits due to there's black as part of color scheme(one of the meaning for black is mystery). Story-wise, May's development gradually grows from finding Johnny and later recruiting Dizzy as a member of the crew. Her curiosity of her heritage surfaces, causing some changes in her design.

In Xrd SIGN, Her skin-tight bodysuit is gone and replaced with just a black, fitted tank underneath her orange overalls. Her pants is loose-fitting along with having a big buckle around her waist and different boots still in orange with black trim. She doesn't have the silver plating collar, but other aspects of her iconic look like her pirate hat is kept. May finally finds out she's Japanese and dealing a mysterious condition that (currently) can't be cured. This is a huge story development for May that leads to be expanded further and another redesign. First is looking up the facial shot of May for Guilty Gear Strive.

May's facial features is the first noticeable difference. The art-style is a strong factor in this, but May looks physically older. She still has big, cute brown eyes, though not as large as in Xrd SIGN. This makes her face appear a little longer face to convey a hint of maturity. Yet, she still hasn't escaped being just cute in an innocent way. Another difference is her hair is slightly shorten to halfway to her back instead to her waist. It's also loose instead of a thick ponytail within her pirate hat, which I think it's a nice little change. Her hat is shaped more round instead of oversized tricon while still retaining the pirate skull at the front. The anchor design on the sides makes it both simple, yet stylish. Now to see the full body of May's new look!

.....Lol, May is wearing a dumb orange hoodie, XD. What's worse is the hoodie has no special designs pertaining to May's personality or style; it's overly casual. There's also no shape, making her look like a fat fish. The skin-tight black short-shorts doesn't help with how oversized the hoodie is, which if it weren't for certain angles, it gives the illusion she isn't wearing anything on her lower body. It looks like lounge wear meant to be worn around the house instead of clothing a person would wear going on an adventure. Speaking of adventure, she has a backpack.

The backpack itself is cute because it's Chimaki(mascot of GG) and do see the the letter J with a heart; meaning love for Johnny. But other than this, this backpack also doesn't really relate to May. Besides being the mascot for the series, Chimaki is specific to Sin because it's favorite toy. None of May's official art ever showed her having a Chimaki toy or accessory. The casual look gives me the impression she quit the Jellyfish Pirates, but her winning animation of her saying "Jellyfish victory!" and Leap(the elderly lady who cooks) being there disproves this theory. Besides the hat, the only things kept from her iconic look is her gloves and boots. There's a heart on one of her thighs; a fitting aspect for a pirate.

Now to look at the Orange personality since it's May's main color(https://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/personality-color-orange.html):

With orange as your favorite color, you are warm, optimistic, extroverted and often flamboyant. You are friendly, good-natured and a generally agreeable person. You are assertive and determined rather than aggressive - having a personality color orange means you are more light-hearted and less intense than those who love red. You thrive on human social contact and social gatherings, bringing all types together.

You live your life based on your 'gut reactions'. You are an adventurer - you love the outdoor life, camping, climbing mountains and indulging in adventurous sports such as sky diving and hang gliding. You are the daredevil, always looking towards your next challenge, your next great adventure.

This definitely fits May's nature. My impression of her simpler look probably hints of May is unsure of herself and trying to figure something out. Her expression in her new character portrait has this too; it's the first one of her not smiling. But I still think this new look for May is bad(except for the hat, the boots, and the gloves). Her design should've been something like this picture link below.

https://imgur.com/Ue1XdhT The top would need to cover her stomach, but this design perfectly fits with May's nature and role as a Jellyfish Pirate. It also conveys she's adventurous and can easily implemented the backpack as part of the design. But it wasn't used... I'm nicknaming her May of the Jelly-Fat, lol. Worst design so far(and hopefully the only one). Design Rating:D(for Derailed) KY KISKE ----------------- Ky's radical redesign for GG Strive was such a huge shock to everyone. At first, people thought it was Sin(Ky's son) until examining him closely. It's funny how many people are saying "Ky's handsome now" and saying he has an athletic body when in reality, he always did, XD. It isn't the first time Ky got big changes to his look based on the events in his life, but I'm going to focus on Ky's iconic design.

Ky is the opposite of Sol; the traditional knight-in-shining-armor type hero. This is another design I'll call timeless and my personal favorite look for Ky. He's very handsome in a princely way, which is fitting since Ky is a French noble. He wears a white shoulder cape containing a high collar with blue trim. It's attached to the blue knight-tunic with black trim in the front, accented with a white, trench-coat like detail. There's twin belts attached to his blue and black gloves while one is on his matching boots. Layered underneath his uniform is his black and white, sleeveless turtle neck and fitted detached sleeves. The belt around his waist with "HOPE" conveys Ky's philosophy. This attire is the Holy Order uniform, which conveys how strongly Ky holds onto the teachings and experiences he had during those times. His story at the time was about fulfilling his duty and doing what he knows and believes is right. Blue and white has always been Ky's main colors, which tells alot about his personality.

Meaning of White Personality(https://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/personality-color-white.html):

Having a personality color white means you are neat and immaculate in your appearance, in the presentation of your home and in your car, almost to the point of being fanatical. You are far-sighted, with a positive and optimistic nature. You are well-balanced, sensible, discreet and wise. You think carefully before acting - you are definitely not prone to impulsive behavior. You tend to have a great deal of self control. You may appear to be shy, but you do have strong beliefs about most things and love the opportunity to air those beliefs. The challenge for you is to be open-minded and flexible and to communicate your needs and desires. Meaning of Blue Personality(https://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/personality-color-blue.html): You are conservative, reliable and trustworthy - you are quite trusting of others although you are very wary in the beginning until you are sure of the other person. At the same time, you also have a deep need to be trusted. You are not impulsive or spontaneous - you always think before you speak and act and do everything at your own pace in your own time. You take time to process and share your feelings. You are genuine and sincere, and you take your responsibilities seriously. Having a personality color blue means you have a deep need for peace and harmony in your everyday life - you don't like having your feathers ruffled. You would benefit from daily meditation and quiet time for reflection, introspection and self-discovery.

You appear to be confident and self-controlled, but may be hiding your vulnerable side. Being a personality color blue means you are generally fairly even-tempered, unless your emotions take over - then you can become either moody and over-emotional, or cool and indifferent. You are sensitive to the needs of others and caring with your close circle of friends. While you are friendly and sociable, you prefer the company of your own close group of friends.

You are a rescuer and love to be needed but one of your lessons is to learn to love yourself first - you live from your heart and are always busy putting the needs of others first. You can be rigid - you like to stick to what is familiar to you and it is hard to sway you from your path - you stubbornly do things your way even if there is a better way. You need to have direction & order in your living and work spaces - untidiness and unpredictability overwhelm you.

You are approachable and friendly, always making people feel welcome in your life. You have a thirst for knowledge in order to gain wisdom and appear knowledgeable in whatever area interests you. You are spiritual or religious with a high degree of devotion to family, God, or other causes that are important to you. If reacting negatively, you are prone to self-pity. These perfectly fit Ky's personality and has mostly stayed with him throughout his character development. Now to look at his GG Strive redesign beginning with the head.

One of the obvious difference is Ky's hair is short, reminiscent of his iconic look. But it raises the question of how since according to the story, it's stated his hair grows rapidly no matter how many times he tries to cut it(due to heavily implying he's part Gear). I'm guessing either Ky followed Sin's method of cutting his hair every 3 days or he found a special hair product to prevent rapid growth, XD. I notice the style of his hair is a bit different; the strands of his bangs is shorter and thicker. It creates a boyish look instead of a young man, which doesn't fit Ky. It doesn't seem noticeable during gameplay, but cutscene-like sequences it's the opposite. His hair should've been exactly like GGX2.

His facial structure and eyes in GG Strive is exactly like in GGX2 except for one part; his chin. While Ky's chin was never wide like most male characters, it usually isn't this narrow either. The narrower chin makes him look younger and with how the hair is styled, it gives the impression it's Ky from an earlier timeline. If his chin was similar to how it was in GG X2, it will improve his look alot and show he's mature and sophisticated. Next is examining the full body picture of his new look.

This is a huge departure in many ways. The only aspect inspired from his iconic design is the shoulder cape, but it lacks the blue trim around the helms and collar. Instead, there's black trim at the helms and hints of blue at the back with the words "Illyrium". His semi-fingerless gloves with fingernail plating is something he doesn't usually wear, but the back of his hands does have plating saying "Nothing can be done without hope". It shows he still generally has the same philosophy and key traits he's known for. The fact his "HOPE" belt is replaced with 2 standard belts(one black and the other brown) implies his mindset he carried from the Holy Order is gone and became open-minded. His open, V-neckline shirt with a single sleeve is inspired from this.

I do find it interesting how this reveals(pun intended) a different side of him, XD. It adds a sense of sensuality that leading men from romantic novels have and obviously it being sexy. Next is his fitted pants accented with blue crosses at the front then his boots with blue trim at the bottom. The most significant change is how Ky's dominant color is now black, which has important meaning to his character development.

Positive traits of Black: Include protection and comfort, strong, contained, formal, sophisticated, seductive, mysterious, endings & beginnings.

Negative traits of Black: Depressing and pessimistic, secretive and withholding, conservative and serious, power & control, sadness and negativity.

All of these fit Ky and since he's wearing alot of black instead of blue and white, this implies he has or going to have an internal struggle. I haved mixed feelings about his new design.

I love the concept of it and think it's nice to see Ky wear something different as his main attire. By itself the outfit is good and easy to adjust to, it's just not as unique as his original design. The design of blue crosses from his GG Accent Core Plus ending should've been implemented in the new design and add some gold trim to balance out all the black. I think his gloves should be changed to be more stylish along with the silver plating. If it had these tweaks, Ky's new design would be perfect.

Design Rating: A(Great!) CHIPP ZANUFF ------------------------ The reveal of Chipp's redesign has mostly been positive, but all of us immediately said "He is so BUFF!" People say he looks handsome now and have joked he worked out at the same gym as Chris Redfield, XD. Let's look at Chipp's previous design!

Chipp's iconic look definitely displays the street-punk style and rowdy persona. This perfectly fits with his dark past of being a former biochemical drug dealer and addict. He has wild spiky hair, small red earrings, and a leather choker around his neck. The fishnet undershirt is both punk-style and those who practice ninjitsu wears. He has fingerless gloves with silver, square-shaped plating. This aspect is also on his belt and short-length boots. There's two leather buckles strapped around the right leg of his white pants and has on a loose-fitting ninja vest with silver buttons. This highlights his newly adopted values he got from his mentor and father-like figure Master Tsuyoshi. Chipp even has on black eyeliner around his eyes to emphasizes the punk look. Since he primarily wears black and white with hints of red, this tells about his personality. Black and white together obviously means viewing things in a straightforward way instead of complex like gray. Red conveys of his hot-headed masculinity, passion, and impatient nature. Combined with the other colors, it shows Chipp's other side of having pure intentions, even though it doesn't always come across right.

In Xrd SIGN, only minor tweaks were made such as adding a red sash attached to his belt, extra detail on his pants and boots, and slightly thicker eyeliner. Ever since becoming president of a (currently) unofficial nation dubbed "Eastern Chipp Kingdom", Chipp's personality seemed to have mellowed some, though still has his impulsive tendencies. Chipp has been through alot of character development since the beginning. Now for his redesign for GG Strive starting with his face.

One of the things I notice about Chipp's face is while it's still narrow, it's a little fuller and smoother with slightly higher cheek bones. His chin is also about an inch or 2 wider than how it was in the Xrd series. His eyes still has the same defined shape, but the eyeliner isn't as thick. These tweaks to his facial features makes him look handsome and approachable instead of angry and rough. But his fiesty side is still there because besides his eye shape, his upper teeth now has some small fangs. Now to see a full body picture...

Chipp's hair also got tweaked; tt's still spiky, but more stylish instead of wild. Instead of strands of hair rest on his forehead, he has noticeable asymmetrical bangs. Besides his red earrings, Chipp's 2 main colors(black and white) is kept along with a little more red from the strings attached to his ninja gauntlets and strapped sandals. He still has the red sash attached to his belt, though this time he has a thick, rope belt(I think it's called "Obi"). His white pants is very loose-fitting and no longer has twin buckle straps, but does have a little more detail with the side silver buttons. On his upper body, Chipp has on a leather vest with a form-fitting, sleeveless turtleneck. The height of the collar covers his mouth and contains buckle straps. This look is inspired from his design in "The Butterfly and Her Gale".

It has aspects of the high collar, gauntlets, and boots, even though the boots was tweaked to be sandals. This redesign shows Chipp fully embraces Japanese culture and the ways of ninjitsu. I think it may also hint of him being or becoming a master himself and training others, especially with how he's gotten so muscular. The way they mixed old and new with Chipp's redesign is amazing and love the tweaks to his face and hair. I do think his pants maybe a bit too wide along with the rope-belt, but other than that his look is perfect.

Design Rating: S++(Awesome!) AXL LOW ------------------- "Axl got PANTS!" is the main reaction people had when he got revealed and the majority agree it's a much needed upgrade. This is the 3rd time Axl has gotten major design changes since GG:The Missing Link. His look from GGX and onwards greatly emphasizes he's heavily inspired from real-life singer Axl Rose. For Axl, I'm going look at his redesign for Xrd SIGN.

In comparison to the others, Axl's design was never high-fantasy or elaborate, but it makes sense he's from the 20th century. His look in Xrd mixes aspects from the 1st GG and GGX, which conveys his easy-going nature and trying to adapt to the future he's in while maintaining his values of the past. He still has his signature UK cap, brown fingerless gloves, and matching shoes. His white shirt has a unique black zipper tie that adds a hint of contemporary along with his blue jacket. Attached to his black belt on the hips is cloths of the UK flag and has on blue shorts. Red and blue has mostly been his main colors(with some white) that tells of his peaceful, friendly, and passionate nature. In the story, Axl is finally confronted about why he time-skips and must make a hard decision that forever change his life. The choice he made leads him to major character development along with what role he will play in the story, so he needed another redesign to reflect this.

This design shows Axl has embraced the current timeline while maintaining his love for his country. His fingerless gloves is a lighter brown along with his ankle-length boots. He wears a red plaid jacket with white sleeves and black with orange trim at the helms. Underneath is his a sleeveless, form-fitting tank with 3 zippers at the front and a brown buckle at the mid-section. On his lower body is a belt with a UK buckle and fitted, detailed black pants with zippers on the side. This look is inspired by the concept art.

I notice his new design as a mixture of colors compared to before, though it seems black is the most dominant color. One of the meanings for black is power and control, which fits with how Axl now has control over his Time powers. He also has an aura of confidence compared to his uncertainty in the past games. This is the perfect design for Axl because he looks amazing and conveys his personality well.

Design Rating: S+++(Perfect!)

Thank you for reading this! I'll make a series of this as more characters of the game are revealed in the future!^_^

#GG2020 #Guilty Gear 2020 #GGS #Guilty Gear Strive #GG Strive #arc system works #daisuke ishiwatari #Sol Badguy #Ky Kiske #May #Chipp Zanuff #Potemkin #Axl Low #character redesign #my thoughts #analysis

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missnmikaelson-main · 5 years

Text

It’s Personal - 18+ Only Please

AN: I do not own TVD or TO.

This story is mostly SMUT with some plot sprinkled in.

A couple of notes:

1. Kol’s not dead. Persistence completed Jeremy’s hunter’s mark. Klaus daggered Kol when it looked like he was going to get in the way. Rebekah took it out after she followed her older brothers to New Orleans. Kol left shortly after.

2. The events of graduation never happened, so Jeremy is still dead beyond the veil.

3. Elijah eventually cracked and shut everyone and everything out. He was still fighting for his family because that’s what he has always done and wants to have a goal.

He is alone in the study, and she is grateful for it since it means she doesn’t have to usher anyone out. She closes the door with enough force to alert him to her presence and straightens up when he spins to face her.

She sees it in his eyes, the barest flicker of awe; it goes as quickly as it comes and she is left staring into the dark.

“Elena,” her name drips from his tongue, no matter how high the walls he erects he can’t keep the syllables from coming out in a soft exhalation.

“Elijah,” she returns. It’s their way – or maybe it’s his way. She can’t help but remember how he had greeted her in the gazebo. Her name sounds nicer from his lips than Katharine’s does; that hard ‘k’ makes everything sound harsh and puts her in mind of the cruel vampire who shares her face; by comparison her name is a lover’s caress sliding from his lips to glide over the shell of her ear.

His question breaks her from her thoughts, reminding her why she is in the city in the first place because while her name is a soft whisper his eyes do not match his tone.

“What are you doing here?”

It’s harsh and cruel with the faintest hint of a cocky smirk, and she knows in that moment why the concern was raised. This is not the man she has come to know; this is the Original that ripped off Trevor’s head with a single savage blow; this is the vampire who tore the still beating hearts from her would be assailants’ chests without batting an eye; this is the Elijah who had been prepared to kill his own brother.

“I got a call,” she shrugs, “apparently you’ve ‘snapped’…” she walks the length of the room, examines the artefacts he keeps on the study’s book shelves, “… you’re ‘off the rails’… gone ‘postal’.”

She glances over her shoulder, sees the barest traces of amusement around the corner of his mouth, but it doesn’t reach his eyes; they are cold, calculating, shielded.

She’s still not sure why she got the call. There must be someone better equipped to deal with the situation; someone closer to him than her. They’ve barely spent any time together during their short acquaintance. She doubts that she has left the same impression on him that he has left on her.

“Who called you?” He stalks toward her.

Elena turns around and lets him cage her in against the shelves. Despite the rigid set of his shoulders and the distance behind his eyes she feels safe; he has never harmed her despite having ample reason to want her dead. She’s certain others have died for less serious offences than she has committed against his family, yet he has never hurt her; he’s gone out of his way to protect her.

There’s something predatory in his eyes, something heated in his stare; his gaze rakes over her features, lingering on her lips; she bites them, swallows, looks up. She can remember all too well the feel of his mouth, the gentle but insistent prods of his tongue: a kiss that had never been meant for her lips.

Would he be as gentle if he were to kiss her again? She supposes she’ll never know; he’s sworn to never feel for another doppelganger again, but the way he looks at her suggests he is not opposed to a second kiss, and perhaps a third and fourth.

Maybe he will. He doesn’t feel anything right now, anyway. She remembers what that was like; the only emotions that ever leaked through were bored annoyance and amusement.

“Who called you?” He repeats his question.

She realizes it’s been a beat too long since he asked the first time.

“It wasn’t Niklaus,” his eyes dance over her throat, lock on her carotid artery. It flutters under his gaze.

A vein darkens beneath his right eye and she wonders what he really looks like. She has seen Rebekah, Klaus and Kol, but he has always maintained his human features; even when he was starving after weeks in the Salvatore’s basement.

“Even if he knew to call you, he would know you’d never listen to him,” he wraps a lock of hair around his finger, rubs the silken strands with his thumb.

Her heart skips a beat. She knows his smirk is because of that. She decides to push his comment to the back burner and find out what he means by ‘knew’ later.

“It was Rebekah,” she tilts her head, feels his knuckles graze her jaw. Somehow during their Thelma and Louise moment they had struck up an uneasy alliance; it isn’t strong enough to be called friendship yet, but they have all of eternity before them to get there if they choose.

“Rebekah fled town months ago,” he cocks an eyebrow.

“She got a phone call,” Elena blinks. “She got a couple of phone calls, actually from Hayley. Plus Klaus and Caroline still talk occasionally. Also,” boldness overtakes her and she places her hand on his chest, “rumors are starting to spread.”

“What would those rumors be?” He drops his eyes to her hand.

It’s the strangest sense of déjà vu when she taps his chest, feels his heart pound. She’s back in the gazebo and half expects him to snatch her arm in an unbreakable grip.

“That I’ve gone ‘postal’,” he tests the word on his tongue, smirks and meets her eyes. “That I’m extremely and uncontrollably angry to the point of violence.”

“That was the rumor,” she nods, “but it’s not true.”

“Isn’t it?” He twists his lips into a perversion of a smile.

“No,” she shakes her head, “it’s not. You’re not angry, Elijah, because you’re not anything. You turned it off.”

She doesn’t stop to question how she can tell. It’s in the eyes, the smirk, and the veiled indifference.

“Why?”

“You know nothing about me,” his eyes narrow. “How could you possibly know that?”

He backs up, shakes his head, but she doesn’t let him go. She curls her fingers around his tie. He’s amusing her; she knows it because there is no way she could hold him otherwise.

“I know,” she steps with him, follows his short retreat. “Why did you do it?”

“It’s easier this way,” he shrugs. There is no use fighting her because she knows.

“I remember that,” she blinks, “but is it really easier to not feel anything?”

“Yes,” he nods, “I’ve grown tired of being underestimated Elena. My emotions have made me weak.” He walks her backwards, pins her again to the shelf. “I’ve done nothing but care for a thousand years and all it’s brought me is heartache; my emotions kept me from doing what is necessary to protect my family.”

“Can you even care about them without your emotions?” She exhales, tips her head up to meet his eyes.

“I don’t care,” he narrows his eyes, tilts his head.

She recognizes that she’s in dangerous territory and that she must chose her next words very carefully. There are two possible ways that this will end – that she can see, anyway – either she will drive a wedge between him and his siblings, or she’ll push him back towards them and the humanity he is keeping at bay.

“They’re your family,” she pleads with her eyes; even in her darkest days she retained her love for her brother. Under everything she knew he still cared; it was just a matter of how deeply he had buried his feelings. “Can’t you feel anything?”

“I don’t need emotions to feel Elena,” his eyes darken.

There is a hunger in his gaze that stirs something in her. It convulses swells and sends a shiver through her. It’s all she can do to keep from arching into him when he catches the small of her back.

His eyes search her face, cold and disinterested but still hungry. There is a ravenous hunger in his gaze that thrills her as much as it scares her.

“You’ve embraced yours.”

“A couple of months ago,” she confirms. She almost parrots back his words: ‘it would be a shame if the world lost a soul as compassionate as yours’.

“Pity,” he hums. She thinks she sees disappointment in his face. “It could have been fun.”

“What could have been fun?” Her brows lower in confusion. An impish grin lifts his lips and puts her in mind of his youngest brother; Kol doesn’t remain on her thoughts long though because Elijah moves and even with her enhanced senses she nearly misses it.

His mouth connects with hers, slanting in a deep kiss that is so far removed from the gentle one he gave her in the gazebo. This – as Rebekah would say – is a proper ravishing, complete with a groping. His hands slide down her back, cup her behind and squeeze.

She gasps into his mouth. Pulling back to breath she sees the mess she has made of his hair and wonders when she ran her hands through it because the short strands are on end.

She tries to speak, but it comes out as a squeak. His answering smirk is infuriating and she hates that he knows how he can affect her.

She is dazed, and she remembers the feeling well. He took her by surprise in the gazebo – nearly making her flip her emotions back on.

His hands are still on her ass. It takes her a second to realize her shock was his goal from the start. Determination fills her, and she vows that she will not be the only one in his study wearing a thunderstruck look.

She wraps her hands around his neck, grasps the back of his head and plants her lips on his. The shock works to her advantage. She presses her chest to his, feels her breasts mold into a delicious new shape, and clutches him closer.

She pulls back after a moment. The surprise on his face thrills her, but he recovers fast and spins.

Elena blinks and clings to his shoulders to keep from tumbling over the arm of the leather sofa. His knee presses between her thighs and she knows that one little nudge will push her over the edge in more ways than one.

“Why did Rebekah send me?” She is breathing the words, scared to speak too loud and break whatever spell has descended on them.

“Perhaps my sweet sister wants me to kill you,” he lifts one hand, cups her cheek. “Shall I?”

“That’s not it,” she shakes her head.

Something flickers in his eyes – it’s a secret he’s still holding on to. She wants to know what it is.

Elijah pushes his knee up and she gasps, biting back her moan.

She closes her eyes and doesn’t open them again until she feels his fingers popping the button of her jean shorts. He teases the edge of her panties, but hesitates. She thinks it’s a thousand years of habit rearing it’s head; he may have flipped the switch on his emotions, but his manners have remained.

She briefly considers telling him no, pushing him away and leaving, but she would be lying if she says she’s not curious. A year ago she might have even claimed that he wasn’t in his right mind, but that was before she turned off her own humanity. She knows what it’s really like; he’s drunk and sober at the same time. He knows exactly what he’s doing. It might not have been something he would have thought of before, but she knows it’s something he wants. That’s how it works without humanity – you decide what you want and take it by whatever means necessary. She considers walking away, but the truth is that she wants it too, and she’s not attached to anyone.

She’s curious, and tells herself that if he’s with her than he’s not out slaughtering people without reason, so she nods and spreads her legs a little farther apart. It has nothing to do with the ghost of emotion in his eyes.

He smirks and she knows exactly what he’s found. She can feel the wetness as he trails his fingers through it finding her clit. He circles the tiny pearl and her knees buckle.

She bites her lip, wanting to hold back as long as possible, but he’s had a thousand years to hone his skill and knowing her doppelganger means he knows her body; he might even know it better than she does. He certainly knows just the spot to curl his fingers and the perfect pressure to apply to her clit. She twists, trying to relieve the agony of the building pressure by further impaling her body on his fingers, but he’s stronger than she is and is in a teasing mood. It’s a default setting for the humanity free.

She feels his eyes on her face, knows he’s watching the exquisite anguish that is playing over her features. She thinks she knows what he’s waiting for, but she’s not about to give it to him.

She lifts her hands and tugs him closer by his tie, kisses him with abandon, plunging her tongue into his mouth while pulling the silk from around his neck. She makes quick work of his black dress shirt and tries to push it off with his jacket before she remembers that he is inflicting the sweetest of torture on her body. She hates the whine that escapes when he removes his hand from her panties and lets the fabric drop, pooling on the floor.

Her eyes roam his chiseled chest; if she wasn’t already soaked the hard plains of his body would have done the trick.

He tilts his head and sets his wet fingers on her bottom lip. He stares, transfixed, as she opens her mouth and cleans her juices from his hand.

She can see the veins pulse beneath his eyes.

“Do you have any idea what you’re getting into?” He pulls his hand from her mouth, runs his finger along the neck of her blouse. “This city isn’t safe. You shouldn’t have come here, Elena.”

“How could I not?” Her voice is breathless. She wonders if she’s imagining the concern in his voice. “You would have come for me,” she raises her eyebrows in challenge, “wouldn’t you?”

His answer is to tear open her pink blouse and attack her throat with bruising kisses. She takes the assault as a yes – or as much of a yes as she’s going to get – and steps out of her jean shorts.

Her ruined shirt falls away and she’s left before him in her mismatched underwear. She doesn’t get time to feel embarrassed before he rips the blush lace bra away and spins her around. She feels the bulge pressed against the curve of her behind.

He dips his head, sucks at her hammering pulse and palms her full breasts, tweaking the hard nipples.

“Elijah,” she groans. There is an ache between her legs that demands satisfaction. It increases when she feels his fangs scrap over her fluttering vein.

He tweaks her nipples, nibbles on her throat and then pulls away. She can hear the sound of his belt being undone and reaches to help him, but he captures her wrists before she can turn and ties them with what feels like his discarded tie.

She could get out of it anytime she wants, but the thought of being at his mercy turns her on more than she wants to admit in that moment.

He slaps her ass. She gasps.

The hand between her shoulders urges her forward. She bends over the arm of the couch, shivering when he slides her panties down to the middle of her thighs. Shaking her hair over her shoulder she is able to see the pure lust in his eyes and gets a glimpse of his cock: long, thick and hard. She wants to sink to her knees, take him in her mouth and make him groan but she’s not in a position for that at the moment.

“Is all of this for me?” He traces her dripping center with the tip of his erection.

It’s not a dangerous question and doesn’t involve begging so she nods against the leather. Her non-verbal answer earns her a slap; the sting brings a flood of moisture to her center.

“Yes,” she breathes.

“What was that?” She can hear the smirk in his voice and repeats her answer louder. “Not thinking of your precious Salvatores?” She shakes her head. “I apologize, Elena, I’m a little out of the loop. Which brother are you betraying this evening: Stefan or Damon? Or are you channeling Katerina now and betraying both?”

Her eyes grow wide. It’s a combination of the accusation and forward thrust of his hips. For a moment she can only sputter as he bucks into her from behind with powerful strokes.

“Neither,” she grunts after a particularly brutal thrust.

At first she sticks to the leather, but then the sweat forms and she slides. She tries to thrust back, but the angle she’s at makes it difficult, and even if she could she doubts she could match his pace. She thinks that maybe he could tear her apart if he wanted to, but knows he won’t.

She’s desperate for something to hold onto, for some type of leverage. She doesn’t really know what she’s doing until she hears the rip of silk.

He curls his fist into her hair and pulls her up. Attacking her neck with savage kisses he snaps his hips faster and uses his free hand to rub her clit; he pinches and rolls until she can’t take anymore and cries out. The ecstasy washes over her, drawn out by his continued fucking.

She writhes and wriggles and eventually comes down. Using every ounce of strength she has she pushes him away and flashes across the room, shoving him into his desk chair. She shimmies out of her panties and straddles him before he can move, sinking down until he is buried in her body again.

She rides him, her vampire stamina allowing her to recover from her first orgasm quickly. The shift in position lets her control the speed and angle, and this way she can see him. She can see the strain in his jaw and the struggle to conceal his vampire features; there is a small ring of red around his eyes, and a couple of pulsing veins accompany every other beat of this frantic heart.

It almost makes her laugh; he has abandoned his emotion, but he still clings to the control he spent a thousand years perfecting.

He lets her take control until she’s pushed herself through two shuddering orgasms before standing and laying her out across his desk. He hooks her legs over his arms and slams into her.

It doesn’t take long before she starts to writhe on the desk top, twitching around his length. She loses track of how many times she comes and for a while is aware of nothing else but the intensity of her pleasure until a fast wind brushes her flushed skin.

She opens her eyes and sees that she is on the couch again. She wraps her legs around his waist, moaning as his thrusts change, shifting from fast and shallow to long and deep.

There is something in his eyes that flickers behind the flood of red; it goes back and forth as he stares into her lidded gaze.

She arches her back when his thumb lands on her clit. She has come so many times that the orgasm borders on painful.

She lifts her head, nips his throat.

He groans, bends and teases her fluttering pulse with his razor sharp fangs.

She tilts her head, a silent invitation, and ignores the voice that says it’s meant to be personal. Nothing has ever felt so right to her.

His hesitation surprises her. He hovers over that artery for what feels like eternity, inhaling the rich combination of blood, sweat and arousal clinging to her skin.

She grasps the back of his neck and urges him closer, using her free hand to move her hair aside.

“Elena.”

Her name drops from his lips: a lover’s whisper in the dimly lit room. It’s the only precursor to his teeth sinking into her throat. She doesn’t think before reciprocating in kind. She doubts her bite is anywhere near as neat as his, but it does the trick.

An array of emotions flood her, exploding over her tongue: passion, anger, and something else she’s not ready to name yet – not while he’s like this, not while he can crush her heart with his indifference.

His pace stutters. She feels his abdomen clench against her stomach, and traces the straining muscles in his lower back. For one brief moment he relaxes completely in her arms. They lay like that for a bit until she feels him shake under her hands.

There is something wet on her neck and she knows that it’s not blood.

She doesn’t have the heart to pull away from him so she lets him roll over and hug her to his chest. She gets only the briefest glimpse of his face and the moisture in his eyes, but says nothing about it.

She can feel his heart beat fast against her back and holds his arm for balance and security; the couch is narrow, but wide enough that she has an inch of space between her and the sudden drop to the floor.

She waits until his breathing levels out, passing the time by licking the remnants of his blood from her lips. She’s more relaxed than she has been in months; the last time she felt so close to carefree was when she had turned off her humanity – except she’s not carefree.

Her problem is that she cares too much; she always has.

“What happened?” She runs her thumb over his knuckles.

“Why do you care so much?” His voice is strained. She’s never heard him sound so broken before.

“I care, Elijah,” she grips his hand.

“Even after the Katerina comment?”

She stiffens in his arms. It’s momentary, but he knows he’s struck a nerve. That had been the very reason he brought up the comparison in the first place, hoping it would drive her away before he gave in to his base desires.

He knew he was wrecked the moment she said he would have shown up for her because she was right. Emotions or no emotions, he would have raced to the ends of the earth if he thought she was in trouble.

There had been no turning back at that point, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t try to push her away. He had done his level best to avoid meeting her eyes during the romp he had been intent on keeping a passionate fuck and nothing more. There was a light in her eyes that always drew him back.

“I owe you a smack for that,” she says, twisting to glance over her shoulder, “and for ripping my clothes to shreds.”

“I did no such thing,” he scoffs, amusement evident in his tone.

“My bra and blouse are ruined,” she nods to the end of the couch.

“Unnecessary pieces of clothing,” he glances at the pink material.

“I can’t exactly walk out of here without them,” Elena rolls over so she’s facing him. He catches her before she can fall backwards. “I’d call that extremely necessary.”

“Maybe I just won’t let you go,” he traces the line of her jaw with his eyes.

“Maybe I’ll steal your shirt,” she counters.

“I’m rather fond of that shirt,” he tightens his hold on her waist.

“It’ll look much better on me,” she smirks.

He frowns when she disappears from his arms and sits up in time to see her rise from her crouch. The black silk hangs off her shoulders, skimming the middle of her thighs.

He finds that he has to agree. The shirt looks much better on her, especially with the knowledge that it is the only thing she is wearing.

“You didn’t answer my question,” she twists her daylight ring around her finger.

“It’s not important,” he shakes his head. Taking her wrist he pulls her down on the couch.

She follows his guiding hand and sits, draping her legs across his thighs.

He runs his fingertips along her leg from ankle to inner thigh and feels the shiver race through her body.

“You shut it off Elijah,” she makes no move to stop his fingers, “that’s pretty important.”

He’s not sure how to tell her what transpired. He doesn’t know how to explain the utter betrayal of his brother’s dealings with the werewolves, or about the lost cause that was New Orleans.

He looks at her through his eyelashes.

How does he tell her he can never feel nothing in her presence?

He can still taste her blood in his mouth. The plethora of emotions hits him again. He doubts she knows what blood sharing really means, or that the feelings flooding her bloodstream do not belong to her. She’s probably not even suspicious since he tasted his own suppressed feelings in her blood.

“Elijah?” She catches his hand, squeezes his palm.

He wonders if she knows he feels again. He doesn’t wonder long because of course she knows. She might have known before he did.

“I’m so tired, Elena,” he closes his eyes.

She waits, a constant pressure on his hand urges him to continue. It’s a moment before it pours out of him. Everything he’s concealed over the last six months.

“We are forever bound to those with whom we share blood,” he finishes, stares up at the ceiling.

“You can’t choose your family,” she glances down to their joined hands.

“No,” he agrees, “but that bond is always there; it can be our greatest strength, or our deepest regret.” He looks at her then, wonders who she is thinking about: Jeremy, her greatest strength, or Katherine, her worst regret.

“Are they your deepest regret?” She lifts her gaze.

“No,” he has never been able to lie to her.

“Then what is?” She frowns.

And there it is: the million dollar question. One of the many reasons he had flipped the switch was because of that question, because he had thought she would never reciprocate his feelings; he would have rather felt nothing at all than the sting of her inevitable rejection.

“You,” he exhales, meets her eyes and holds her leg; his thumb finds the dimple in her knee. “I owe you an apology.”

“For what?” She frowns.

“Many, many things,” he sighs, “but right now I’ll focus on the most recent offences.” He starts rubbing her leg again. “I threatened to kill you.”

“I’m used to death threats,” she shrugs, “you’re hardly the first Original to issue one.”

“I compared you to Katerina,” he shakes his head, shame prickling at the back of his scalp. He knows he’s hardly the first to do that either, but that just makes it all the worse. “You’re nothing like her. You can’t even act like her.”

“I fooled you,” she murmured.

She tries to play it off with a smile, but he knows it’s a fact that’s bothered her for a long time. He stops tracing her leg and grasps her chin.

“No,” his thumb catches her bottom lip, “you didn’t. I knew the second I saw you in the gazebo.”

“But you…” he can see the confusion in her eyes.

“Took advantage of a situation I never should have,” he slides his hand into her hair, “I’m sorry.”

“I’ll tell you what,” she tilts her head, “promise to never turn it off again and I’ll let it go.”

He can’t stop the smirk that plays over his lips.

“Are you negotiating with me?”

“That’s kind of our thing.”

“Oh,” his tone stays teasing, “I thought it was backstabbing and betrayal.”

“That is the basis of my relationship with Rebekah,” she shakes her head, “but you and me…” she motions between them, “… we always seem to come back to this.”

“Unless I’ve been experiencing blackouts I’m pretty sure this,” his free hand slides beneath the hem of his shirt to tease her inner thigh, “is a first.”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it,” she lets her legs part for his wandering fingers.

He does know it. They always seem to find a way back to each other for a negotiation that – nine times out of ten – results in betrayal; he wants this to be the tenth.

“I have a counter offer,” he meets her eyes, “I won’t turn it off, and you stay around to ensure I keep my word.”

“You’re humanity sponsor?” She cocks an eyebrow. “I do trust you to keep your word Elijah.”

“Maybe I just want you to stay.”

He hopes his emotions show in his eyes. He hopes she can see.

She shifts, tilts her head and watches him closely.

“Why did Rebekah call me? Why did she send me?”

He knows why. He knows the precise reason Rebekah chose Elena to come on the hunt for his humanity. His little sister is perhaps the most perceptive woman he has ever met. No matter the lies he told she could always see through them, through him. Rebekah has known the truth since he saved Elena before the ball.

“She has eyes,” he runs his finger over her jaw. “She sent you because, unlike my brother, she knows how I feel about you. She knows that it’s impossible for me to feel nothing in your presence.”

She moves up and holds his wrist, trapping his palm against her neck.

Even confused there is a light in her eyes that warms him and speaks to his soul, or maybe it’s a by-product of her blood on his tongue, her emotions flowing through his veins.

Leaning forward he brushes his lips against hers in a gentle kiss. There is a trace of blood on her tongue that ignites his senses.

He rests his forehead against hers and exhales.

“I love you, Elena,” he hears her breath catch and maybe it’s selfish, but he can’t stop now. “I have been in love with you for so long; I think it started the day you gave me back the dagger.”

“You couldn’t have told me this sooner?” Her breath shakes.

“You were a little preoccupied,” he plays with a lock of her hair, “and rather adamant on remaining human. The last thing you needed was my admission, and then you transitioned and… sire bonds don’t form without a reason… without feelings.”

“Trust me,” she sighs, “those feelings are gone.” She sees the confusion in his eyes. “I told you it was because my brother was dead,” she bites her bottom lip, “that was only part of the reason.” She lowers her chin, stares at the hand on her leg, rubbing small circles into her skin. “I was freaking out… inconsolable and Damon… he… he used the bond to make me turn it off.”

He grits his teeth, swallows his strong desire to leave and find Damon Salvatore so he can tear out his spine and make the cocky vampire truly spineless.

“I… I killed someone, and that’s on me, but…” she chews her cheek.

He cradles the back of her head, lowers her cheek to his shoulder and lets her release a few silent tears. His other hand leaves her thigh to press into her back.

“I should have gone back for you,” he breathes against her hair, “I never should have left you with them. I didn’t know any of it until I went back to Mystic Falls.”

“How could you have?” She shakes her head. “You were there when I needed you. I wasn’t exactly grateful at the time, but…”

“I think we both needed someone to talk sense into us,” he murmurs. “You were right, I was an idiot.”

“You weren’t an idiot, Elijah…”

“I was attempting to use a stand in for something I couldn’t have,” he chuckles, “that sounds idiotic to me.”

She swallows and smiles. He can feel the way her lips tip up against his chest.

“Okay,” she flattens her hand over his heart, “just remember that you’re the one who said it, alright?”

“I think I can do that,” he smiles.

He hears her heart beat slow, relaxing into a peaceful state. In a thousand year he has never heard anything like it and wants to listen to the steady beating for the rest of his life.

“Elijah…” she trails off, unsure of herself, and not quite ready to voice her feelings. “I…”

He uses a finger to tip up her chin and kisses her: soft, slow, promising.

“It’s alright,” he pulls back, his breath fans over her chin. And it is alright. He knows how she feels even if she’s not quite ready to say it; he’s tasted it in her blood and sees it in her eyes. He has endless time to wait.

“Will you stay?”

The danger of the city is not forgotten, but he’s confident she can handle herself and when she can’t he’ll be there to keep her safe.

“In a house with a man who once killed me?” She cocks an eyebrow.

“In New Orleans,” he clarifies. “Niklaus will not harm you.”

He holds his breath, conscious of what he is asking her to give up: the life she once knew because he can’t leave Klaus. Until she had come he had entertained the idea of abandoning his millennia long quest for his brother’s redemption, but now he cares again.

She tucks her hair behind her ear. There is nothing left for her in Mystic Falls; it’s the town that took everything from her, including her life. New Orleans is a fresh start with a man who loves her, so she nods.

“I knew you cared,” he smirks.

“Maybe I just want to see Klaus fumble through fatherhood,” she counters, leaning in to kiss his cheek.

“That does promise to be amusing,” he agrees.

She giggles. The sound lights up his heart, and he’s certain he’s floating.

His lips trail up her throat until he reaches her ear. He nibbles with human teeth and smells a fresh wave of arousal rise from the apex of her thighs. There are so many things he wants to do to her, to do for her. He is about to flip her around and knee between her open legs when the door swings inwards with a crash.

“What the bloody hell is going on? I leave the lot of you alone for five minutes and you start a damn war.”

Elena yelps, grasps his shirt and holds it closed over her naked breasts. It’s a moment before Kol’s eyes land on her and grow round.

“To be fair,” Elijah rolls his eyes, glaring over his shoulder, “it was more than five minutes, and I’ve been trying to stop a war. What are you doing here?”

Kol’s eyes land on his brother.

“Rebekah called,” his gaze darts from Elena to Elijah, “said you turned it off.”

“Yes,” he drawls, “and now I’ve turned it back.”

“Clearly,” he cocks an eyebrow and turns his attention to his brother’s companion. “Elena,” he greets.

“Hey Kol,” she manages a small smile.

“I was sorry to hear about your brother.”

“Sorry to hear you were daggered.”

“Were you?” He scoffs.

“No,” she shakes her head, “you threatened to have Jeremy killed.”

“I’d have been content with ripping off an arm,” he glances around the room. “What happened to the desk?”

Elena glances to the left and feels a flush rise to her cheeks.

“Not that it isn’t nice to see you,” she grits her teeth, “but please get out; I’m kind of naked over here.”

“I’ve got no problem with that,” he smirks.

“Kol,” Elijah growls.

“Alright, alright,” he holds up his hands, “I’m going.”

Elena waits until the door is closed. She can hear him somewhere beyond the wood telling someone they ‘really don’t want to go in the study’. She ignores him in favour of his older brother.

“What happened to the desk?”

“I may have gotten a little… aggressive,” he smirks, pulling her to straddle his hips. “You seemed to enjoy it.”

“You broke solid oak?” She leans back to get a good look at his desk.

“Technically you broke off a chunk of it,” he nips at her throat, opens his shirt and drags his mouth down to her pebbled nipples. “Would you care to break some more furniture, or take a shower?”

He scraps her nipple with his teeth.

“That depends,” she closes her eyes and hums, rocking her hips. “Will we be breaking the shower?”

“That’s always a possibility,” he stands, wrapping her legs around his waist.

Tags: @rissyrapp20 @eternityunicorn @elejah-wonderland @elejahforever @morsmornte @xanderling @fandomrulesall

#elena gilbert #elijah mikaelson #elejah #klaus mikaelson #hayley marshall #kol mikaelson #rebekah mikaelson #mentions of klaroline #mentions of delena #mentions of katherine #oneshot

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chaos-of-the-abyss · 5 years

Note

How can you like daenerys

Quite a lot of reasons, actually. For the sake of my time, I’ll limit my answer to ten of them.

1. She tolerates disrespect in her own court.

“We are all dead, then. You gave us death, not freedom.” Ghael leapt to his feet and spat into her face.

Strong Belwas seized him by the shoulder and slammed him down onto the marble so hard that Dany heard Ghae’s teeth crack. The Shavepate would have done worse, but she stopped him.

“Enough,” she said, dabbing at her cheek with the end of her tokar. “No one has ever died from spittle. Take him away.”

How many leaders and rulers in ASOIAF would have tolerated being spat on in their own court? Not many, I’m sure.

2. She’s witty.

“Little girl, another woman once tried to geld me with her teeth. She has no teeth now, but my sword is as long and thick as ever. Shall I take it out and show you?”

“No need. After my eunuchs cut it off, I can examine it at my leisure.”

3. She’s a creative and resourceful ruler, despite having never received any sort of training, unlike the majority of other leaders.

“Not a hole. A ditch, to bring water from the river to the fields. We mean to plant beans. The beanfields must have water.”

Ser Barristan remained. “Our stores are ample for the moment,” he reminded her, “and Your Grace has planted beans and grapes and wheat. Your Dothraki have harried the slavers from the hills and struck the shackles from their slaves. They are planting too, and will be bringing their crops to Meereen to market. And you will have the friendship of Lhazar.”

4. One of, if not the most, compassionate ruler in ASOIAF who is determined to take care of her people, despite what her advisors might say.

“Ser Jorah, you say we have no food left. If I march west, how can I feed my freedmen?”

“You can’t. I am sorry, Khaleesi. They must feed themselves or starve. Many and more will die along the march, yes. That will be hard, but there is no way to save them. We need to put this scorched earth well behind us.”

Dany had left a trail of corpses behind her when she crossed the red waste. It was a sight she never meant to see again. “No,” she said. “I will not march my people off to die.” My children.

It was time, though. A girl might spend her life at play, but she was a woman grown, a queen, a wife, a mother to thousands. Her children had need of her.

Daenerys considers the people under her rule her children. That says enough about her compassion for others.

5. She’s pragmatic and a great military strategist, again despite having no formal training in these matters.

“Ser Jorah Mormont scowled. “You told the sellswords-”

“-that I wanted their answers on the morrow. I made no promises about tonight. The Stormcrows will be arguing about my offer. The Second Sons will be drunk on the wine I gave Mero. And the Yunkai’i believe they have three days. We will take them under cover of this darkness.”

“They will have scouts watching for us.”

“And in the dark, they will see hundreds of campfires burning,” said Dany. “If they see anything at all.”

“Khaleesi,” said Jhogo, “I will deal with these scouts. They are no riders, only slavers on horses.”

“Just so,” she agreed. “I think we should attack from three sides. Grey Worm, your Unsullied shall strike at them from right and left, while my kos lead my horse in wedge for a thrust through their center. Slave soldiers will never stand before mounted Dothraki.” She smiled. “To be sure, I am only a young girl and know little of war. What do you think, my lords?”

The following is describing Daenerys’ conquest of Meereen. Meereen’s walls have no weak points, the Harpies heads can squirt hot oil, and all the trees were burned by the slavers to prevent Daenerys from being able to build weapons. Daenerys doesn’t want to order the Unsullied to assault the wall directly because it would lead to pointless loss of their lives (courtesy of the boiling oil from the Harpies heads). So instead:

“Aegon the Conqueror had won Westeros with three dragons, but she had taken Meereen with sewer rats and a wooden cock, in less than a day. Poor Groleo. He still grieved for his ship, she knew. If a war galley could ram another ship, why not a gate? That had been her thought when she commanded the captains to drive their ships ashore. Their masts had become her battering rams, and swarms of freedmen had torn their hulls apart to build mantlets, turtles, catapults, and ladders. The sellswords had given each ram a bawdy name, and it had been the mainmast of Meraxes-formerly Joso’s Prank-that had broken the eastern gate."

6. She's willing to and makes an effort to learn, and learn she does.

Dany reined in her mare and looked across the fields, to where the Yunkish host lay athwart her path. Whitebeard had been teaching her how best to count the numbers of a foe. “Five thousand,” she said after a moment.

“A queen must listen to all,” she reminded him. “The highorn, and the low, the strong and the weak, the noble and the venal. One voice may speak you false, but in many there is always truth to be found.” She had read that in a book.

7. She’s brave. Anyone who has the balls to face a dragon with only a whip is far more courageous than a considerable number of characters. And before anyone says,“the dragons wouldn’t hurt her no matter how angry they get, she’s their mother,” yes they would. Drogon tried to kill her.

His head turned. Smoke rose between his teeth. His blood was smoking too, where it dripped upon the ground. He beat his wings again, sending up a choing storm of scarlet sand. Dany stumbled into the hot red cloud, coughing. He snapped.

“No” was all that she had time to say. No, not me, don’t you know me? The black teeth closed inches from her face. He meant to tear my head off. The sand was in her eyes. She stumbled over the pitmaster’s corpse and fell on her backside.

8. Her idea of what it means to rule is extremely idealistic, even after all the exploitation she’s suffered. By intentions alone Daenerys is already a far better candidate as ruler than most other leaders in the books.

“I was alone for a long time, Jorah. All alone but for my brother. I was such a small scared thing. Viserys should have protected me, but instead he hurt me and scared me worse. He shouldn’t have done that. He wasn’t just my brother, he was my king. Why do the gods make kings and queens, if not to protect the ones who can’t protect themselves?”

“Some kings make themselves, Robert did.”

“He was no true king,” Dany said scornfully. “He did no justice. Justice... that’s what kings are for.”

She would rather have drifted in the fragrant pool all day, eating iced fruit off silver trays and dreaming of a house with a red door, but a queen belongs to her people, not to herself.

She believes it’s her duty as a queen to protect her people and bring justice. In Dany’s eyes, a queen must put her people first, herself second. You’d think someone who suffered under the hand of her cruel and abusive older brother, who she also considers her king, and then exploited and sold like an animal by him to a barbarian tribe, would make a thirteen-year-old girl quite jaded about rulers. But Daenerys still wholeheartedly believes that rulers should be selfless, protect their people, and bring justice, though the people who had power over her in the past did none of those things for her.

9. She’s intensely self-critical.

That morning she summoned her captains and commanders to the garden, rather than descending to the audience chamber. “Aegon the Conqueror brought fire and blood to Westeros, but afterward he gave them peace, prosperity, and justice. But all I have brought to Slaver’s Bay is death and ruin. I have been more khal than queen, smashing and plundering, then moving on.”

“You have brought freedom as well,” Missandei pointed out.

“Freedom to starve?” asked Dany sharply. “Freedom to die? Am I a dragon, or a harpy?” Am I mad? Do I have the taint?

“A dragon,” Ser Barristan said with certainty. “Meereen is not Westeros, Your Grace.”

“But how can I rule seven kingdoms if I cannot rule a single city?” He had no answer to that. Dany turned away from them, to gaze out over the city once again. “My children need time to heal and learn. My dragons need time to grow and test their wings. And I need the same. I will not let this city go the way of Astapor. I will not let the harpy of Yunkai chain up those I’ve freed all over again.” She turned back to look at their faces. I will not march.”

What sort of mother lets her children rot in darkness?

If I look back, I am doomed. Dany told herself... but how could she not look back? I should have seen it coming. Was I so blind, or did I close my eyes willfully, so I would not have to see the price of power?

Mother of dragons, Daenerys thought. Mother of monsters. What have I unleashed upon the world? A queen I am, but my throne is made of burned bones, and it rests on quicksand. Without dragons, how could she hope to hold Meereen, much less win back Westeros? I am the blood of the dragon, she thought. If they are monsters, so am I.

There is blood on my hands too, and on my heart, We are not so different, Daario and I. We are both monsters.

Bless me, Dany thought bitterly. Your city is gone to ash and bone, your people are dying all around you. I have no shelter for you, no medicine, no hope. Only stale bread and wormy meat, hard cheese, a little milk. Bless me, bless me.

Now we must keep in mind that Daenerys’ chapters are told from her POV. They are not objective by any means. The fact that she’s so self-critical in these quotes (and more) does not mean she can never be a good ruler. It’s a human thing to magnify your failures and judge yourself much more harshly than the others around you, and this is well-communicated on Dany’s POV.

Daenerys was trying to change a system that has been in place and served as the economic foundation of Slaver’s Bay for countless years. It’s an extremely radical - even revolutionary - change. There’s not a single character that would have been able to work that situation out smoothly and without bloodshed. Yet Daenerys never takes this into consideration, she simply blames herself.

The fact that she’s so self-deprecating reveals a lot about Daenerys. For one thing, she clearly doesn’t attempt to mentally shift the blame off of herself when things go awry. This means that she’s self-aware and willing to take responsibility for her actions. Being self-critical is also something I can very much relate to, so I empathize with Daenerys here.

10. She freed slaves.

I can already hear the storm of antis crowing that she did an awful job, which is ridiculous and I dare them to do any better. When such a revolutionary change is brought about, there is simply no way it’s going to go smoothly. Like I said before, there isn’t one character in ASOIAF who would have flawlessly handled the situation Dany was in.

The “white savior” argument is also something I find odd, because slavery in ASOIAF is not race-based. Among the slaves Daenerys liberated, there were Lyseni, who are blonde-haired and blue-eyed.

I love the fact that Daenerys, despite being a queen, empathizes with the lowborn. She’s experienced the same things they have - mistreatment, fear, exploitation, to name a few - in a time that she had no say about what happened to her, like them. When she does gain power, she does her best to use it primarily to help others.

“I will not let the harpy of Yunkai chain up those I’ve freed all over again.” She turned back to look at their faces. “I will not march.”

“Enough.” Dany slapped the table. “No one will be left to die. You are all my people.” Her dreams of home and love had blinded her. “I will not abandon Meereen to the fate of Astapor. It grieves me to say so, but Westeros must wait.”

#asoiaf #asks #daenerys targaryen #dany defense squad #daenerys defence squad #daenerys defense squad

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marshmallowgoop · 5 years

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Satsuki meta anon here again, apologies, but I was reading some meta that you wrote surrounding Soichiro/Isshin and his relatively necessity to abandon both his daughters, and wanted to contribute my own thoughts on the matter, specifically around the matter of difference of the nature of how alone both of them are. You nailed it completely with Ryuko. Isshin left Ryuko alone, wounded by his severance of their closeness in her early years and making it nearly impossible to bond with others. But-

-my reading of Satsuki’s situation is one of equal isolation, if of a different kind. Soichiro introduced her to a world where she can’t even trust her own mother, usually one of the, if not the most, strongest bonds a child could have at that age. Coupled with the fact that she was likely taught early on that being a child of a family with the wealth and power meant that people would try and use her for a piece of that, and you have a recipe for a grieving child incapable of trust without major investments of time and effort and frankly, some testing.

Soroi is in the employ of the family, paid by the family to serve Satsuki. In the beginning, while she accepted his attempts to comfort her via tea and an introduction of one of her closest friends, its very likely that she didn’t trust him right away even if she desperately wanted to bc of how closely money could play a part in that kind of trust. Yes Soichiro asked Soroi to look after her, but is that something he could have easily conveyed to her at that junction and have her believe it? I think the trust they attained by the time Satsuki went to middle school was very hard earned on Soroi’s part.

When it comes to Nonon, the light novel confirms that she didn’t find Satsuki interesting until she was very deeply troubled, a change that Satsuki very likely noticed the difference in her interest beyond that of two children of powerful families associating together. They may have been friends since preschool, but arguably Satsuki did not trust her until Nonon followed her away from a school that suited Nonon’s tastes and into a rougher one. Iori likely suffered from being placed in a similar boat as Soroi, not to be trusted for the sake of his uncle’s employment until proof otherwise (obviously earned as well, considering just how central Iori was to her plans and inner circle).

While Ryuko was utterly alone because of a broken ability to bond from separation anxiety turned to abandonment issues, Satsuki found herself alone among others who might very well sell her out for power or money, regardless of their true intentions. Both are very isolating situations. And I’d argue that trusting people with plans and secrets and perhaps your life are markedly different than fully entrusting your heart to them, which has been played up by the anime as a large difference between Ryuko and Satsuki. Where Ryuko opens her heart to Mako and Senketsu, Satsuki’s heart remains closed still until far later.

In fact, because of this, Ragyo saying ‘give your heart over to me’ (Netflix subs, I think I’ve seen it translated as ‘entrust your heart to me’ as well) has always stood out to me as understanding Satsuki doesn’t trust like that, which is what separates her from Nui and Rei.

Apologies for the length of this, and that I keep doing this your inbox, but this interpretation has been sitting inside of me since 2014.

Oh my goodness, Anon!

I hope this doesn’t come off wrong, but I think you really ought to be posting these analyses under your own name. You deserve credit for your excellent work! As much as I’m thrilled that someone would want to discuss these topics at such length with me—seriously, you do not have to apologize at all for engaging with my content so much because that is literally my goal—I feel that you should also be getting recognition for what you do. I know how much time and effort goes into writing stuff like this.

Of course, I do understand that there are valid reasons to wish to be anonymous. I just want to say that these are good, detailed posts that could stand very well on their own, without any input from me.

Regarding my input here, these asks remind me of a line from “KILL la KILL Digest -Naked Memories by Aikuro Mikisugi-,” a quick recap “episode” that was included as a DVD/Blu-ray extra. Narrated by Aikuro, the short briefly explains the entire plot of Kill la Kill and then sets up the OVA with its final lines: “As for Satsuki Kiryuin, who led such an intense life ever since she could remember, totally alone… What kind of clothes will she choose to wear from now on? That’s the one thing that intrigues me.”

As you might expect, I always disagreed with the sentiment of Satsuki being “totally alone.” In the tags of one post, I even wrote, in response, “Nah man you’re thinking of Ryuko” and, “Satsuki had Soroi and Shiro and her Elite Four.” As I argued in the essay that you’re probably referring to, Isshin/Soichiro left Ryuko alone—and drj2008 even opened me up to the idea that he perhaps very purposely created and utilized Ryuko’s loneliness so that she would be so desperate for love that she’d bond more easily with Senketsu—but Isshin/Soichiro did at least assure that Satsuki would always have someone by her side when he told Soroi to look after her.

And I think that’s the key point of difference here. I’d never before considered that Soroi would need to gain Satsuki’s trust because I assumed he had it from the very start. My interpretation was that Soroi had to be a dear, close friend of Soichiro for Soichiro to ever ask him to look after Satsuki, and Satsuki—who adored her father, arguably to a troubling degree—wouldn’t question her father’s judgment. From the moment Soroi and Satsuki met, I believed that she would know, just by understanding Soroi’s relation to her father, that Soroi was someone to be trusted.

But I see now that my reading makes a lot of assumptions. Who knows when exactly Soroi told Satsuki that Soichiro had asked him to look after her? Satsuki might have been informed that Soroi was her father’s choice in some way (which is… actually quite curious, honestly), and Soroi might have told her that he knew everything early on, but you’re right—we don’t really know. I think your reading is very fair.

Concerning Nonon, I agree completely. I found Nonon’s part in the light novel to be absolutely tragic. Talking about the story, I once said, “It just shows how Satsuki did not trust Nonon at all.” Nonon was head-over-heels infatuated with Satsuki, but Satsuki didn’t even bother to tell Nonon when she was moving schools. That’s the exact opposite of trust.

I swear I don’t normally talk about my fanfiction in my essays as much as I have been in these responses, but I explored Satsuki and Nonon’s dynamic in a short Satsunon Roman Empire AU. In my piece, Nonon learns that Satsuki is going away by hearing some chatter, and to prove to Satsuki that she’s worth trusting, she runs to Satsuki before Satsuki leaves, declaring that she’s coming with no matter what. At the end of the fic—and this is the relevant part here—Satsuki meets with Nonon again after the world has been saved, and Satsuki finally opens her heart up, noting that she wants Nonon by her side, as a friend and equal, and she’s done with being treated as a goddess to be worshipped.

And I think that’s a big thing you’re touching on here, Anon. Satsuki may have had all these people around her, but many of them considered her to be something more than human. And that is lonely. It’s difficult to reveal your insecurities and doubts and fears to someone who sees you as a god. After all, they’re probably not going to listen; they think you’re “above” all that. Satsuki was very much isolated, just like Ryuko.

However, I still disagree with Aikuro’s assertion that Satsuki was “totally alone,” mainly due to Soroi. Regardless of how long Satsuki took to open up to Soroi, I think she most certainly had trusted him with her heart at least by the events of the series. The moment where the two converse about Soroi’s tea in episode 17 is probably the most telling example within the show itself; Satsuki smiles genuinely for Soroi and even reveals her hidden emotions, readily admitting that she may have been more compassionate in the past.

I can’t definitively say how much Satsuki let Shiro or the Elite Four in, but Soroi? There is complete and total trust here. And while I dislike comparing Soroi to Senketsu because I feel this too easily lends itself to the interpretation that Senketsu is a father figure to Ryuko (which is my absolute least favorite reading of Kill la Kill and one that I consider to be a complete and total misreading of the text #PleaseStopSenketsuIsRyuko’sDadTheories2k19), I do have to admit that Soroi is, for the majority of the anime, the one person whom Satsuki seems to truly be herself with, just as Senketsu is for Ryuko.

Concerning the episode 17 scene mentioned above, I think it’s also pretty telling that Satsuki’s moment with Soroi occurs just after an intimate conversation between Ryuko and Senketsu that the script even emphasizes as a heart-to-heart that Ryuko deliberately wanted to have with Senketsu and Senketsu alone. Sure, I’ve argued in the past that the real connection between the scenes comes from Ryuko’s later chat with Aikuro and the fact that both Aikuro and Satsuki are discussing Soichiro/Isshin, but it’s also true that both Ryuko and Satsuki have very vulnerable, humanizing moments here. Soroi knows Satsuki’s heart, and she reveals it to him, just as Ryuko (quite literally!) shares her heart with Senketsu.

Of course, I think it’s clear that Ryuko’s relationship with Senketsu is one among peers while Soroi takes on a fatherly role for Satsuki in the place of Soichiro, but Soroi is still someone whom Satsuki trusts with her whole heart and soul. As pointed out, it may very well be true that Satsuki didn’t have that kind of trust in Soroi immediately, but I figure it can’t have taken too terribly long for the relationship between them to become close. After all, as noted in the aforementioned episode 17 scene, even young Satsuki smiled for Soroi when she had stopped smiling at school. Satsuki wasn’t being genuine, yes, but she was still breaking her hard guise for Soroi, and 18-year-old Satsuki is even surprised that she wasn’t honest back then, implying that she feels they’ve been as close as they are since practically the beginning.

I know this got terribly long, but I don’t at all disagree that Satsuki had also been subjected to an isolating situation. It is lonesome to feel, as outlined in an early advertisement introducing Satsuki’s character, that “humans are clothes-wearing pigs” whom she must “dominate,” “rule over,” and “destroy,” all while “relying on no one.” It is awful to believe that you have to do everything all alone, without sharing your true self with anyone.

And it’s sad, too! Satsuki’s struggles to truly trust others lead her to inadvertently hurt the people she cares about, and there’s something especially tragic about how Satsuki used and manipulated her own sister—whom Satsuki was fighting for all along!—rather than tell the girl the truth and trust her. As I’ve written in the past, “While Satsuki is not truly against Ryuko, her plan prevents them from being close. The thought of Satsuki fills Ryuko with hatred… when they could have been allies and friends. Satsuki’s tired, sad frown as Ryuko returns to normal [after going berserk in episode 12], juxtaposed with the Mankanshoku family’s shock and Nui’s bemusement, does well in hinting that maybe Satsuki wishes she had Mako’s power herself… and she’s sorry that she doesn’t.”

But more than all this, even Ryuko points out how alone Satsuki is after fighting Satsuki to a draw in episode 15. Ryuko only gets as far as she does by putting her complete and utter faith in Senketsu—and notably here, she follows through with his strategy even without knowing exactly what he intends to do—and she recognizes that Satsuki… doesn’t bond like that.

In pushing a point like this, I think the show definitely wants viewers to notice that Satsuki is stuck in a hard, isolating situation where she feels she can’t entrust her heart to anyone.

But I think the show also wants viewers to notice that Satsuki is more than capable of loving and trusting in the same way that Ryuko does. Ryuko doesn’t have a clue about someone like Soroi when she accuses Satsuki of being by herself, and as I’ve emphasized all throughout this monster of a post, I wholeheartedly believe that at least Soroi had fully earned Satsuki’s trust, even if it took a moment. Satsuki just about always had someone she felt safe with, whereas Ryuko… lost all that when her father abandoned her and didn’t find it again until she met the Mankanshokus and Senketsu. There’s a reason that one of Ryuko’s defining features is her loneliness, pointed out in her character introduction with the line, “Ever since I could remember, I was alone,” in her (and Senketsu’s) theme song “Before my body is dry” with lines like, “But I’m all alone,” and, “Don’t wanna be all alone,” in her fantasy world in episodes 20-21, and even by the cast, such as when the Mankanshokus note that Ryuko has to be super lonely to talk to her clothes or when even Ragyo tells Satsuki to go join her “lonely little sister” in death.

Ryuko gets a lot of heat for not being as strong as Satsuki upon learning her true origins, but I argue that you can’t really blame her. Even if Satsuki closed off her heart to most people, she undoubtedly grew up with a support system that Ryuko did not have until practically adulthood. Satsuki manages to keep her head up and carry on not only because of her immeasurable resolve and ambition, but also because she has a lifetime of love and support. Satsuki is not as alone as Ryuko claims (and I’d really like the Satsuki-centric Kill la Kill the Game: IF to elaborate on Ryuko understanding as much), and I feel that Soroi is genuinely an unsung hero of Kill la Kill. Could Satsuki have been nearly as strong without his influence?

I guess this is maybe a bit off topic, though.

In any case, I definitely agree that Satsuki struggled to open her heart to others, and I definitely agree that this is a hard, sad, awful place to be in. Part of what makes Satsuki’s team-up with Senketsu near the end of the series so sweet to me is that it is here that Satsuki really begins to open up. She doesn’t look down on Senketsu, she acknowledges his feelings, and in a cut moment from the script, she even outright tells him to wear her, thereby fully and completely trusting him to work with her and save Ryuko. Senketsu noting that his and Satsuki’s “hearts are as one” in episode 21 is one of the most heartwarming things in the entire anime when you consider everything that Satsuki has gone through. She’s been afraid to trust and afraid to show her true self to anyone, and yet… to save her sister, she opens up her heart to someone she had once considered evil and incapable of love.

And after this? Satsuki, despite saying in her introduction that she will be “bowing down to no one,” bows down to Ryuko.

And she smiles openly.

She laughs.

Satsuki was absolutely stuck in this lonesome, isolating position. But just like Ryuko, she gets out of it—and just like Ryuko, it’s so incredibly, incredibly sweet that she does.

#kill la kill #satsuki kiryuin #mitsuzo soroi #ryuko matoi #isshin matoi #soichiro kiryuin #senketsu #Anonymous #replies #ramblings #klk meta #gifs i made #whoops sorry this got way more out of hand than i expected ^^;#also dang i never realized how many 's'-names are in this show

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ty-talks-comics · 5 years

Text

Best of DC: Week of July 10th, 2019

Best of this Week: Batman and the Outsiders #3 - Bryan Hill, Dexter Soy, Veronica Gandini and Clayton Cowles

Batman’s Outsiders has a lot to learn before they can properly function as a team.

After losing Sofia, the girl that they were charged with protecting, Baman gathers the team together and tells them that they are going to get her back, but first they need to be tested. On the other side of the coin, Sofia finds herself in the clutches of Ra’s al Ghul, who places the man who killed her father in front of her. Ra’s tells her to kill him, her own test to see if she’s worthy of being trained by him.

The book flips the focus between two central characters specifically, those being Sofia and Duke Thomas, aka The Signal. As mentioned in my last review of Batman and the Outsiders, this book was slated to come out around the same time or after an arc in Detective Comics where Batman’s sidekicks were being targeted by a murderous villain by the name of Karma. His primary targets were the Cassandra Cain and Duke Thomas, the latter of whom is still suffering from PTSD after failing to save a kid with a bomb strapped to him by Karma and being injured in the explosion.

Ishmael, the man who killed Sofia’s father, kneels before her and goads her into attacking him, telling her that he heard her father’s last thoughts before he died. He says that her father wishes that she were killed instead of him and Sofia succumbs to her anger, striking Ishmael. After a smokescreen clears, Duke is met by someone wearing Karma’s gear and attacks the figure in a rage. “Karma” tries to convince Duke that he doesn’t deserve the metahuman power that he has, the ability to see what others cannot (see Dark Knights: Metal), and that Batman must be disappointed.

After thoroughly thrashing Ishmael, Ra’s gives Sofia a sword, telling her to end Ishmael and become another of his weapons. She holds the sword in her hands and thinks long and hard about her decision. Ultimately, she decides that vengeance is the only option and chooses to plunge the blade into Ishmael. Ra’s reveals the test for what it is, allowing Ishmael to defend himself and telling Sofia that if she joins him, nothing will hurt her again.

Cornered and afraid, Karma approaches Duke and asks him where is his team now, making him think that The Signal is all alone. Suddenly, Cassandra kicks Karma in the face, Katana slashes him in the face of the mask and Black Lightning picks the kid up from the ground. Bruce reveals that he was the one under Karma’s mask and tells Duke that he is very proud of him.

This issue was made great by the duality of the situations presented. Batman normally takes in broken kids and builds them back up to be strong, compassionate and in tune with their emotions. Ra’s al Ghul takes young men and women and turns them into unrepentant killing machines under his will. Duke could just as easily have been in the same position that Sofia is in now and vice versa. Sofia, however, will be a harder case to bring back to the light now that she knows that she has given in to her darker side. Sofia has a chance to become like Damian if she’s lucky, but who’s to say?

Duke has already been to the dark depths since his late childhood, watching his parents get forever Jokerized, dealing with an army of wannabe Joker kids as a teen and fighting against the Dark Multiverse as Batman’s new ward. Duke has been through a lot, but he’s also been able to overcome every threat in his way. Karma took that security away from him when he made Duke watch his own failure and this left the young man angry and broken, unwilling to take orders from anyone lest he make the same mistakes again.

Batman and the Outsiders succeeds at placing it’s focus on characters other than Batman, leaving him as more of a support player while the stories hone in on individuals or team dynamics than Batman’s leadership. Duke Thomas has been out of the picture for a while and having the gates flood open on his headspace in particular made me very happy. I also kind of like Sofia. While not exactly super fleshed out yet, she shows a lot of promise especially making the decision to have this new character go down a dark path in the beginning. She has good motivations and I actually hope that by the end of this arc, she earns a place on the team properly.

High recommend.

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Tom King’s Batman can be hit or miss sometimes, but this one is definitely a hit.

Runner Up: Batman #74 - Tom King, Mikel Janin, Jordie Bellaire and Clayton Cowles

For the entirety of his superhero career, Batman has been driven by one singular goal: to make sure what happened to him as a child didn't happen to anyone else. He's vowed to protect the streets of Gotham and to honor the memory of his parents and the city they loved.

This vow has become increasingly harder to honor over the course of this run; from being unable to save a possible replacement in the Superman-like Gotham, to being told to stop being Batman by his father from an alternate universe, and ultimately being left at the altar by the love of his life. One man is responsible for it all, Bane.

Part of the (admittedly) convoluted scheme to break the Batman was to somehow bring the Flashpoint Batman from his Universe to finally convince his son to stop. Thomas rationalizes that all Bruce needs is the love of his parents and his sickness, his broken need to be Batman will go away. As revealed in the last issue, Thomas' goal is to resurrect Martha Wayne in Ra's al Ghul's most powerful Lazarus Pit and reunite the Wayne family.

Mikel Janín's art remains amazing as always. I could gush for days about how he's able to make Thomas and Bruce solemnly expressive through body language and only using the lower halves of their faces, but Jordie Bellaire, is the real star of this issue. She manages to color this story in a way that makes it seem like it takes place in three acts.

The first act takes place in the beautiful drawn and barren desert after Bruce and Thomas reconnect while fighting Ra's ninjas. Everything is bright and the yellows, contrasted to the Blacks of the Bats give things a slightly warm feel. Thomas is happy for his son to join him and give up his crusade.

The second act shows Bruce and Thomas reaching the edge of the pit and is coated in the cool blue hues of night. The scene feels somber and intimate as Thomas tells Bruce how stubborn he was as a child, crying because he wanted to hear his favorite story over and over until he fell asleep. Thomas says that Bruce absolutely got that from his mother, who would constantly insist that Thomas read him that story, how she always had faith that Bruce would sleep. The two begin to climb down into the pit.

Throughout the issue the Russian Folk Tale, “Animals in the Pit” had been told and spoken about in the usual Tom King style. The tale involves a group of animals that get trapped in a pit and perform contests where the loser gets eaten. In the end, one of the two remaining animals tricks the other into ripping himself open and feasts on his flesh.

In the final act, in the dark of the pit, the book takes on a harsh red hue. Thomas is finally there, at the end of his journey to give his son the happiness and family he deserves. Saying that he couldn't deny Bruce his childish wishes as a kid, but now he will deny him remaining Batman.

Bruce tells him that the reason he wanted to hear the story constantly was because, despite the horror, his father told him the story with a bit of levity. Bruce gained hope that one of the animals just might escape and even if he knew it was impossible, he never gave up hope. He then betrays his father with a right cross to the face.

Janín can draw a beautiful, flashy fight scene when he wants to, but this fight is anything but. It's raw and brutal, it's close quarters and every emotion is felt, accentuated by the excellent coloring. Bruce punches his father, Thomas punches his son right back. Even when the fight pivots away from them to focus on the coffin, the tension is still there. Their ideological struggle is felt through the shadows on the wall and when Thomas is thrown into the coffin, things spiral downward for him.

Right on the heels of the hopefully amazing “City of Bane” storyline, this two issue filler arc strengthens Batman’s resolve for what will be the final confrontation with one of his greatest enemies and all of his pawns in Tom King’s Batman run. While the issue does suffer from the usual King-isms (long winded diatribes taking up entire pages, lack of explanation for possibly crucial plot points, like how Thomas came to this world, and the general pretentiousness in dialogue structure) they don’t pull the issue down in a distracting way. While mildly annoying, they fit this story very well and continue to expand on Bruce’s reverence for his mother, introduced in the “I Am Suicide” arc and furthers him being resolute in his mission.

Bane’s going to have hell to pay when the Batman comes for him. High recommend.

#comics #dc #dc comics #batman #the outsiders #black lightning #the signal #duke thomas #katana #cassandra cain #dexter soy #bryan hill #thomas wayne #bane #tom king #mikel janin

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