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hunnylagoon · 4 months

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When I Was Your Girl

Stage Fright

Rockstar! Ellie Williams x pop star! Reader

‘Fame is a poison most would drink happily despite the warning of a slow and painful death’

Premise: You and fell in love as nobodies and fell out of love in the limelight. Now you are forced to deal with ghosts who haunt you like a melody.

Warnings: small mentions of drinking and drugs / wee bit of violence / Ellie is a dick

Fake albums mentioned: Solstice / Smokey Eyes

I've never been anything more than a joke.

I'm so childish they took it for maturity, and I'm so serious they took it for silly.

Even since I began my career, I was spotted at eighteen by a skeezy producer when I sold myself at a strip club to make ends meet, because dreaming never paid the bills. I wish that I had been found somewhere else, maybe one of the restaurants I sang at on karaoke nights or the park where I poured my soul into art through my uncle’s old acoustic guitar.

"How are you feeling right now?" A tanned woman with slick back hair shoves a microphone into my face while an emotionless man holds the camera. "I mean, seven years in the industry and you've just received your first Grammy nominations."

"I'm feeling kind of freaked out, to be honest," I face the woman with a sheepish smile on my face, trying the best I can not to look at the large camera lurking beside me.

"Rightfully," Her teeth are so white that they almost blind me and I get distracted by myself as I try to figure out whether they are veneers or not. "Do you think you'll be bringing any hardware home tonight?"

She moves the microphone back to my face and I flinch out of instinct, we both laugh for the camera but I can tell she's annoyed "Honestly, I'm just happy to be here, as corny as it sounds it is such an honour to be around so many incredible artists."

"So humble," She smiles then turns to the camera to address the viewers "I think we all know she's gonna be sleeping tonight with a golden gramophone under her pillow," She forces a laugh, trying to capture the raw essence of this overly manufactured moment. The interviewer turns back to me "Now, I know this isn't your first rodeo, is there anyone here you aren't looking forward to seeing, you don't have to name any names."

Fuck I hate these bloodsuckers. She is so obviously trying to milk my broken engagement which was still very much fresh. I uphold my false smile though and shake my head "Nope, if anything I think I'm looking forward to some mingling,"

She looks irritated, covering it up only by a close-lipped smile. "Well, then I'll let you get on with that."

I give her a curt wave and continue my way down the red carpet, maneuvering through other celebrities, we all have common ground, we are blinded by the flashing lights. I try my best to avoid any more journalists but I see Abby Anderson speaking to one and sneak up behind her, tapping her on the shoulder.

She turns around and greets me with a huge smile "I was wondering when I was gonna see you," Abby smiles and slings an arm around my shoulders looking to the journalist while I glance at the camera "I'm telling you, this girl needs to clear some space out on her trophy shelf."

I grin at her, genuinely. Abby had always been kind to me, we first met when I was nineteen and the both of us signed up for Atlantic Records. "She's just being nice," I say.

"And she's just being humble!" Abby squeezes me, it's a simple gesture but it means the world to me, it's her way of saying 'I got you'.

I shake my head "Abby is gonna be the real winner tonight."

The man holding a microphone in front of us smiles "We'll see who's right, my bet is both of you," He turns his attention to me directly "So I understand that you took a bit of a break after releasing your album, Solstice, is this considered your comeback?"

"Nope," I smile despite wanting to snatch the microphone from his hand and beat the camera with it until it shatters "There isn't anything to come back from."

He tilts his head giving the over-animated 'Are you serious?' look for whoever is watching. Every journalist was like a vampire trying to bleed me dry. The journalist, impeccably dressed in a tailored suit that exudes both sophistication and confidence searches his mind for another question "Well your album honestly was such a work of art and there has been talk that you are working on another one, is there anyone here that inspired any of those songs?"

"Nope."

"I think we should ask Ellie the same question," He laughs at his joke like it was funny.

"And I think we should be heading off now," Abby answers for me and guides me away from the barricade of reporters and journalists, away from the cameras prying into my soul.

As I walk along the red carpet, I don't bother to stop and pose for any more pictures, I pick up the long skirts of my dress and usher myself to weave between the other celebrities. I nearly turn my ankle and take a tumble, wow, sure glad that 30 photographers caught that moment.

I was drenched in a deep, enchanting shade of midnight blue, the gown captivated with its sleek silhouette. The magic shows in the intricate details that adorn the fabric, reminiscent of the cosmos itself. Delicate embroidery of constellations graces the entire dress, forming a celestial tapestry that seems to come alive under the harsh shine of lights. The celestial patterns are meticulously sewn into the fabric, resembling a night sky filled with stars and constellations, creating an ethereal and otherworldly charm. Paired with the constellation dress, I wear a diamond choker and matching teardrop earrings.

I had lost Abby at some point in my little runaway leaving me to get into the auditorium where the award ceremony is to take place.

Nearly the very second I walk in I hear a man yell my name, he is seated in the second row and it takes an awkwardly long amount of time for him to jog over to me. "Hey, kid!" He grins, hugging me, I don't hug him in return, I just freeze. It was Graham Wilson, I could smell the liquor on his breath.

Graham Wilson was a man who used to write very successful rock songs in his twenties with his band (the majority now deceased), he was nearing his sixties and was the definition of a has-been. I remember when I was a kid and I would listen to him on my iPod; though in recent days he's become known for ridiculous stunts, DUIs and homophobic tweets, even better known for how he found out I was gay and announced that he was no longer homophobic because, in his words 'Those gays can sure write good music' and then thanked me in his tweet, even tagging my account.

His frame carries the weight of a bygone era, specifically his beer belly. His once-lustrous, shoulder-length hair has succumbed to streaks of gray, hanging limply around his face like faded echoes of a rebellious past. Despite the passage of time, a few remnants of the rockstar allure linger - a faint scar above his right eyebrow, a reminder of a wild night in an underground club, and the subtle tattoos peeking out from under the sleeves of his wrinkled suit jacket.

"Hey, Graham," I give him a tight-lipped smile out of courtesy, in no means do I wish to talk to him.

"You better win best album tonight," He gives me a hard slap on the back. Every time I see him he acts like we're friends just because he was a judge on a singing reality show that I was on seven years prior.

"I'll try my best," I try to excuse myself but he speaks again.

"I said seven years ago when I saw you on that stage that you were gonna be a star so don't let me down," He points a finger at me and gives me a weird smirk. When he smirks I almost think he's having a stroke until he starts to laugh and reveals his rows of teeth that are beginning to rot from his not-so-subtle drug abuse.

"Okay," I give him a nod and a quick wave goodbye to sneak away and pretend that I didn't converse with him. It seems like I'm early to take my seat, people are still piling in and being ushered to their spots, and seat fillers are standing around sheepishly while they try to take discreet photos of celebrities.

My seat is on the end of row two, right on the aisle, I feel myself split into a grin. If you weren't aware, Who sits where is a major status symbol. And though awards show organizers may deny it, it's awfully convenient to be sitting in the front row or on the aisle if you're about to accept a ton of trophies.

I was shaking with nerves, I got nominated three times and maybe there was hope that I would win at least one category.

When I saw Ellie I almost wanted to hide my face, she walked in with a new girl she slung her arm around, Jesse, Dina, and Cat in tow. I'm thankful to see that they're sitting front row of the opposite section of me and have yet to notice me.

I'm not sure if you have ever fallen in love, dated, gone on tour, moved in together, adopted a dog, written a couple of songs, got engaged, then broken up with someone and had the entire thing be documented publically but it's not the best feeling when you have to be in the same room as them again.

Everything with Ellie used to be so perfect.

The first thing I ever noticed about her were her eyes, her sad eyes. She looked like a puppy that had been kicked around for far too long; neglected and mistreated by whoever was cruel enough to show her such torment. Her eyebrows furrowed like each thought running through her head was a worry.

It's hard to look at her now, I know this girl inside out but we are strangers.

I liked to pretend that the beautiful girl she was with was just there for show but I knew it was untrue when I saw her snake her hand around her waist just like she did to me. She runs through girls like they're cigarettes, she uses them until they burn out or she grows sick of them.

Two years ago at this very same award show, Ellie accepted Song of the Year for the song she wrote about me, 'Everlong'. She had even invited me on stage during her speech and announced to the world how in love she was with me.

If only I knew I could come to hate someone I used to love to death.

My hate was only solidified when Ellie and the Ashmen dropped their most recent album titled 'Smokey Eyes' just three months after our broken engagement. The entire album was about me and dear god it almost ruined my career.

Ellie had managed to paint me in a horrible light that made me seem like the scum of the earth. She wrote about me having substance issues and overall just sang happily about how much she despised me. Her song 'Me vs Your Friends' wrecked me. After speculation began over that song online, her fans decided that they loathed me just the same as Ellie did; this meant that I was doxxed, sent death threats, had my home broken into, and forced to move.

She wasn't the slightest bit sorry.

I spent the award ceremony dazed out, to be truthful, these types of events were boring. They dragged on for ages and you had to sit through the same generic speeches over and over again of people thanking their parents and producers, I hated both of those.

I watched as Amelia Swan walked on stage, she was a nepotism baby, the daughter of some big-shot director and beautiful all the same. In the glittering spotlight of the grand award show stage, a vision of elegance takes center stage as the next announcer for the evening. A beautiful woman, her porcelain skin seemingly kissed by moonlight, graces the audience with a timeless allure. Her dark, cascading hair frames her face in a sleek, sophisticated manner, accentuating the delicate features that radiate a captivating charm.

Draped in a resplendent pink gown, the fabric sits tight against her slim body. The gown is a masterpiece of design. Its silhouette accentuates her figure with tasteful precision, while the soft hue of pink complements her fair complexion.

"Hello!" She smiles and the crowd begins to cheer "I'm going to cut to the chase because I know all of you are as excited to find out the winner as I am."

Amelia begins to go through the nominees, my breath hitches in my throat when she says my name, though I play it cool the best I can and smile softly when the camera zooms in on me in the crowd.

Her eyes, framed by carefully styled lashes and a hint of rosy eyeshadow, exude warmth and confidence. Lips adorned with a subtle shade of pink curve into a welcoming smile, inviting the audience to share in the excitement of the announcement.

"The winner of Album of the Year is..." I could've sworn I nearly passed out when Amelia said my name.

Nothing felt real, it was like I was living the dreams that I made up when I was a little girl staying up late in my uncles back yard, talking to the indigo sky and speaking to it with delusions of security and stardom.

I shake when I stand up from my chair. The person next to me hugs me and I don't even know who she is but I hug her in return.

Amelia gestures for me to join her on stage with a huge smile on her face. I make my way down the aisle and up the steps leading to the stage. Amelia handed the statue of the golden gramophone to me along with the microphone to give my speech.

At this moment, the stage is my kingdom "I didn't prepare anything because I honestly didn't think I would win but I'd like to thank my little sister, Marceline, and my late uncle, Richie, god rest his soul. Everything I've done leading me to this moment has been for them, every lyric, every night I'm up till dawn writing. Even though Richie can't be here in person, I carry a little piece of him with me everywhere I go, he's all around me, I see him in the songs I write, in the melody of an acoustic guitar, and in the faces of those gentle enough to show me kindness."

The audience applauds for me, even Ellie who stares me down bitterly. I had sung in front of thousands of people but it would never compare to this moment.

I wipe a tear away from my eye "I would also like to thank all of my fans, you guys are just the fucking best," I giggle through my crying "I feel like you've been sent down by Richie and Marceline I know you're watching me right now, please give my dog some love for me. Please know that I don't come from anything, I was born from dirt and dreams for something more than a ratty town in Canada."

I lived for the applause.

"I mean, I've always been good and never great so this means a lot to me-

Ameilia places a hand on my shoulder to stop me "There was a bit of a mix-up," She announces "I'm sorry, love, you didn't win," She says just to me, dark eyes full of remorse.

"What?" I almost think it's a sick joke.

Amelia holds the microphone to her face to be heard by the audience "I'm not joking," She shows the contents of a card to the crowd "The real winners for album of the year are Ellie and the Ashmen for their album Smokey Eyes." Gasps sound from the audience and I can only imagine what those watching from home are doing

The camera pans to where Ellie, Dina, Jesse, and Cat sit, Ellie is laughing; not laughing, cackling, it only grows and now she's laughing so hard she can barely breathe. Suddenly I didn't feel like I was king of the world, it felt like the desolation of a hangover had hit me in the span of 90 seconds.

Dina gives Ellie a harsh elbow to her bicep, telling her to be respectful. The four of them rise from their chairs and make their way up to the stage, where I stand, paralyzed.

"Congratulations," I give Ellie a tight-lipped smile and hand the award off to her.

She smiled smugly at me and took it "Thanks, smokey eyes," Ellie held the statue up to display it. Smokey eyes was a nickname she had given me when we first met since I always had dark circles she said they looked like smoke from a forest fire. I told you that album was about me. What made me more mad is that it was such a stupid fucking nickname.

My mouth goes dry, it tastes like salt and failure.

I take many steps back, trying to hide myself at the back of the stage while I watch the Ashmen bathe in the glory I thought was mine.

"I didn't prepare anything because I honestly didn't think I would win," Ellie begins to mock me "But I'd like to thank my best friends, Dina, Jesse, and Cat, I couldn't have done it without you," She motions at her band members beside her "But I also couldn't have done it without my dad, thank you, Joel, you're out there in the cheap seats but I fucking love you," She waves out into the crowds somewhere before handing the microphone off to Dina.

"I am so beyond grateful-

"No!" Someone yells from the ground and all attention turns to him "This is not fair!" Graham shouts, walking up the stairs. Everyone in the room looks at one another trying to figure out what is going on. Graham snatches the microphone from Dina "I'm proud of you four but listen."

Everyone is silent completely, no one is sure what to do so we let Graham continue.

"I met everyone on this stage seven years ago," He throws one arm out for dramatics "Except for Amelia, I don't know you," Graham is more dishevelled than he was when I saw him earlier that night "Let me tell all of you that Ellie was in love with this girl since the day they met!" Graham points at me, now things are getting weird, well weirder. “I know because I was there and you all saw it on TV!”

It was no secret that Ellie and I were together since we met on Road to Stardom, a singing reality show where people compete for-well, stardom. Every step of our relationship had been very public, not by choice but by unfortunate circumstances. It is for this reason I was afraid of what Graham would spout next.

"Without her, Smokey Eyes wouldn't have ever been written, Ellie would've had no inspiration for it," He babbles "But more so my point is, Solstice deserved to win, Smokey Eyes is mediocre at best!"

People in the audience look genuinely concerned, I spot Abby in the third row. She has one hand covering her mouth from pure shock, her eyebrows are furrowed and she almost looks like she's going to throw up.

"Solstice is the best album to listen to when you're high off salvia on your bathroom floor!" Graham points back at me.

I see Cat mutter something to Jesse along the lines of "He's not wrong."

"Smokey Eyes has three good songs and Solstice has thirteen!" Graham suddenly stops to turn and look at me, he grabs my wrist "Come up here and finish your speech," I shake my head no but he pulls me up anyway.

I freeze, petrified. My eyes are wide and my lips are pressed together in a thin line. I didn't know what to do. Why wasn't anyone doing anything?

Graham's head suddenly snaps from me to Ellie where he takes an intoxicated step closer to her "Give me that damn award, you don't deserve it, especially not after mocking the woman who inspired it!" He lunges for the statue, at first Ellie is stubborn and holds onto it tight.

After 30 seconds of Graham trying to pry the stature away, Ellie gives up and releases it, figuring it best not to fight with a drunk man; in doing so Graham's elbow flies back from sudden loss of resistance and hits me dead in my nose. I yelp out in pain bending over into a crouch and clutching my nose. Graham stumbles back and trips over me, though he is still holding on tight to the statue.

Jesse approaches him slowly. "Hey, man, It's me, I think we should all just settle down and talk this through," He tries to act cool but his eyes are full of worry "I agree, I think Solstice is a great album and it really deserved to win."

Graham clumsily rolled onto his stomach and then stumbled back onto his feet. He was staring Jesse down like this was the Wild West.

Dina rushed over to me to make sure I was okay "Let me see," She gingerly moved my hands away from my nose, it had been knocked crooked and blood was pouring down to my chest where it pooled at the neckline of my dark dress.

Graham chucked the golden gramophone at Cat who jumped back when he did so and took a swing at Jesse who didn't move an inch or even shudder from his drunken punch. It also didn't help Graham that he was a solid four inches shorter than Jesse. Just as Graham was hyping himself up to send another hit, two bulky men grabbed either of Graham's arms and dragged him off the stage and out of sight.

I went home that night with nothing more than a broken nose, and no award but I could rest knowing that night went down infamously in history. My blood dripped onto the stage of the Grammys.

That was the night I truly became famous.

Grade eight- Age thirteen

Middle school is hard.

Even harder when you have two friends, one of them is a guy who is obsessed with Star Wars and is hardly at school because he's always having an allergic reaction, and the other friend is my English teacher. I ate lunch in her class while he graded schoolwork on days that Milo was too sick to show up for school.

I never understood why kids are so fucking mean. Like sometimes I'm having a good day and then I remember when I sang at the middle school talent show.

Some kid who was destined to have a blunt in his hand finished doing tricks on his skateboard rolled off stage and it was my turn.

In the dimly lit auditorium, adorned with colourful decorations for the annual school talent show, I took center stage with my guitar, a blend of excitement and nervousness etched across my face. The hushed whispers of the audience faded as I strummed the first chords, the notes carrying the beginning to the first of many performances in my life

"If you gave me only one wish,

I wouldn't want to feel this way.

They told me I'd have your memory

But all I want is you to stay

And I can't stop my mind from haunting me,

It's like a scar on a butterfly's wing,

I wanted you to know."

I had worked tirelessly to perfect the lyrics to my first ever song, begging my uncle who was far more practiced for his input. This was way back when I still lived in fuck ass nowhere Alberta, I had that country twang in my high voice though it carried a specific tenderness.

"This beautiful pain that I feel is all because of you

And one day these bones will heal

And they'll leave me with the truth

And I'll give you everything if it's the last thing that I do.

This beautiful pain, this beautiful pain

This beautiful pain for you."

However, as I sang my little heart out, a different melody began to play in the background - the snickers and hushed comments of some classmates who couldn't appreciate the vulnerability I laid bare on the stage. Their laughter, like discordant notes in a once-harmonious piece, reverberated through the auditorium.

"If I sailed the world on stormy seas

Chasing sunlight that I can't see.

I was a dreamer here before,

Before I woke up and fell to the floor

And I'd climb to heaven if I could find you,

Even with a scar this butterfly flew.

I wanted you to know."

I spotted one group in particular, they hated me already and this would give them all the more reason to bully me.

"This beautiful pain that I feel is all because of you

And one day, these bones will heal

And they'll leave me with the truth

And I'll give you everything if it's the last thing that I do

This beautiful pain, this beautiful pain, this beautiful pain."

Maybe the lyrics were the slightest bit corny but I was thirteen and these girls were being little cunts. I bit back the tears I so clearly wanted to release when I saw a teacher had to walk over to the group of girls to stop their laughing. It wasn't just that one group though, kids scattered all over were fighting back giggles and that made it hurt all the worse.

"And all I'll ever need

And all I'll ever be,

Within every part of me is this,

This beautiful pain that I feel is all because of you

And one day these bones will heal

And leave me with the truth

And I'll give you everything 'cause it was all I ever knew.

This beautiful pain,

For you."

As the last note hung in the air, the room was divided. Some applauded, recognizing the authenticity of my performance, while others continued their derisive comments. So the majority who liked my singing were teachers, but that didn't matter, at least my music got through to someone.

The rest of the day was even more difficult than my three-minute performance, at least that was over quickly but the comments from Kennedy and her friends left me leaving school in tears.

I didn't go home that day, I walked the extra ten minutes to get to my uncle's house. Lugging my guitar and newfound hate for music with me. The façade, adorned with a mismatched collection of potted plants and a welcoming, hand-painted sign that read ‘Home Sweet Home’ hinted at my uncle's efforts to infuse joy into his surroundings. The paint on the wooden shutters might have faded, but they held stories of many seasons gone by. The roof, patched with a variety of materials, showed the resourcefulness of my uncle in their attempt to shield the interior from the whims of weather.

He tried to make the house look nice for me and my little sister. He was by no means rich in money but rich in what mattered, the love he had for me was overflowing.

It wasn't a particularly nice neighbourhood either, his house was small, with two bedrooms and a basement I wasn't allowed in. But every time I think of the chipped blue walls, I feel a warm sense of nostalgia run down my spine.

"Who's there?" I hear Uncle Richie call from the kitchen where he is cooking something.

"Just me," I yell back, dropping my guitar case on the ground and belly-flopping onto his old brown leather couch that had more tears in it than I could count; he had tried to stich some of them up with embroidery floss but ultimately gave up, deciding to let it be since he couldn't afford to replace it.

"Why aren't you at your mom's, Chickadee?"

"I don't wanna see Mom right now, she's gonna put me in an even worse mood," I call back grabbing the TV remote off of the water-damaged coffee table.

"What happened?"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

Minutes later Richie walks into the living room to join me, he carries a bowl of Kraft Mac and cheese with two forks shoved in it, he taps the bottom of my socked feet, signalling for me to move them so he can fit on the couch with me. Uncle Richie has a buzz cut and beard stubble that I have never seen him without, he has never been seen without a flannel on, not as long as I've been alive. What I remember the clearest about him though was the scar beneath his right eye, when I was younger he would tell me that he got it from a pirate though I stopped believing that. "So are you going to tell me why you're sulking?"

I ignore him and he reaches for the remote to turn the TV off "Hey, I watching that," I mutter.

"Well I'm waiting for you to answer me, Chickadee," He tilts his head "Or you won't get any kraft dinner."

"I sang at the talent show today."

"And?"

"Everyone made fun of me."

He furrows his eyebrows "Why would they do that?"

"Why do you think?" I snark "Because I'm not good enough and I'm a bad singer and I have a shit guitar." I immediately regret my words. Uncle Richie was the one who gave me that guitar, it was all he could manage with his income, it was his back when he had dreams of his own but he fixed it up so I could pick up where he left off. The guitar itself had a cracking between the face and the side that was being held together with duct tape, not to mention the whole thing was basically reinforced with superglue and there were Sharpie drabbles on it of poems and potential songs Richie started that I will be sure to finish.

"This is the best guitar in the world," He reaches behind the couch where I left it slugs the case onto his lap and opens it to showcase the guitar "Because it's full of something money can’t buy, there is love built into this guitar and every time you play it you feel that love."

"I don't feel love when I play," I say, eyes brimming with tears.

"Then you're not playing right," He smiles, discarding the case on the floor "Did you play the song I helped you write?"

I nod "Kennedy said it was worse than shoving nails into her ears and that my guitar was decrepit and even more fugly than I am."

"Well Kennedy is a little cunt," He answers "Don't tell anyone I said that." His words make me giggle. I watch him intently as he begins to strum some chords on the guitar, the beginning of Beautiful Pain, he stops when I don't sing the lyrics, glancing at me until the words finally fall from my lips.

After the first two Stanzas, he hands the guitar off to me, nodding his head along to my gentle strums.

When I finish the song and strike the last chord, Richie claps a huge smile on his face "Do you feel the love yet?"

"I dunno."

"Then play again," He says "Don't think about those bitchy little girls," His tone is dead serious "You just gave all of those people a free performance, in ten years they are going to be paying hundreds just to get a bad seat at one of your shows and they will buried so far in the back of your mind that you won't even remember their names or all of those awful words they say to you, the only words that will matter are the ones you sing."

"So what do I do?"

"Play music because you love it, it doesn't matter if it takes you anywhere or if it makes you any money. That's why you should play, play for love not greed."

Wordlessly I begin the song over again, blocking out the rest of the world while I softly sing the lyrics. I strum each cord perfectly, my singing to match. I will forever think back to this moment, this is where I can pinpoint the exact second I fell in love with music.

I wrap up the song and Richie speaks up "Do you still want to watch TV?"

I shake my head "Can you help me write another song?"

Sinjinisoverboard: I love love love the new single but does anyone else miss her debut era?????? I feel like she's sold out

woodmonkey92: Reply to Sinjinisoverboard╰┈➤ this is so true, I remember when she would sing in parks and she was actually happy just being herself

theend_is_n3ar: Reply to woodmonkey92╰┈➤ bruh you don't remember that, she was a nobody when she sang in parks plus she literally got heckled and ridiculed by her classmates so bad that she gave up on singing in public and almost gave up on music as a whole

user37768638493: Reply to sinjinisoverboard╰┈➤ as much as I love her it really seems like she's fallen off the rails

conner_stoll_it: She's not even the same person anymore. I fell in love her original music and who she was when she wrote it, then she signed with a record label now she's an in-genuine copy of every pop star.

Alina_b12: Reply to conner_stoll_it╰┈➤ you fell in love with her old music?? 💀💀💀 she wasn't even past 100 subscribers when she released her debut album and after she released she literally gained 11 listeners on Spotify to get a total of 24 so don't lie and say that you heard it before hearing her mainstream music

Luciaisdonewithlife: Reply to conner_stoll_it╰┈➤ Her old music was so relatable, she got famous and it’s kind of hard to relate to someone who's net worth is more money then I can even fathom

hazeinmorningcraze: Reply to Luciaisdonewithlife╰┈➤I think that's why it was so easy for everybody to side with Ellie during the breakup, Ellie kept true to who she is, her girlfriend however did not.

Luciaisdonewithlife: Reply to hazeinthemorningcraze╰┈➤*fiancé

hazeinthemorningcraze: Reply to Luciaisdonewithlife╰┈➤ ew don't remind me

maiya_onthec0ast: Reply to conner_stoll_it╰┈➤ We should remember that no one listened to her when she released her debut music. She said in an interview that before she signed with Atlantic Records she had 24 listeners and 76 subscribers. We only know who she is because of her mainstream music, you aren't better than anyone for needlessly hating on her.

stargirlthesequel: God who else misses the southern twang she used to have in her voice?

Vampire_empire2: Reply to stargirlthesequel╰┈➤LMAO acting like you know her is crazy

Aline_b12: Reply to stargirlthesequel╰┈➤parasocial relationships are really becoming apparent rn

thismightbeskylarwwhiteyo: It's soooooo annoying when people hate on Solstice for being mainstream like all Ashmen discography isn't top on charters since they dropped their first album

dancedancerev0lution: Reply to thismightbeskylarwwhiteyo╰┈➤I've been saying this! Ellie has been in the industry way longer, she's always had a big fan base, even when she was still a solo artist!

elliespurplemonster: Reply to thismightbeskylaarwwhiteyo╰┈➤ Ellie Williams on 🔝

call_urm0ther: Reply to elliespurplemonster╰┈➤ kys she treated her fiancé horribly

elliespurplemonster: Reply to call_urm0ther╰┈➤ how would you know that????? Were you there??????

follow_kendra88: Reply to call_urm0ther╰┈➤Ellie was the one who was treated horribly in that relationship, have you even listened to Smokey Eyes?

ellies_no2girl: Reply to call_urm0ther╰┈➤Ellie was so in love and just got used for fame 🥺💔

call_urm0ther: Reply to ellies_no2girl╰┈➤fuck off with your cringe ass emojis

sorryyileft___:You guys are so weird for saying Ellie was used by her ex for fame, they literally were on the same show at the same age at the same time and got thrown into the limelight at the same time, Ellie and the Ashmen just got more popular.

mybodyisacage: Reply to sorryyileft___╰┈➤Ellie had a bit of a YouTube presence before she was on Stardom, it wasn't a crazy number but it was a cult following and that's why she won Stardom, bc she had fans to begin with then gained even more after being on national television

elliespurplemonster: Reply to mybodyisacage╰┈➤She didn't win bc of following she won bc she's a good artist

mybodyisacage: Reply to elliespurplemonster╰┈➤I never said she wasn't

bodhi_van34: I thought the whole thing at the Grammy's was an act until I saw all those news articles about Graham Wilson getting arrested

carlyswarly: Reply to bodhi_van34╰┈➤They did a drug test when he got arrested and found coke in his system

may0mayyyo: Reply to carlyswarly╰┈➤A busboy who worked the event said that Graham was doing cocaine in the bathroom

body_van34: Reply to may0mayyyo╰┈➤ LMAO WTF

charlotte_5freakingdidit: EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT ELLIE WILLIAMS BEING MEAN TO HER EX BUT GRAHAM WILSON LITERALLY ASSAULTED A POPSTAR ON STAGE AND TRIED TO THROW HANDS WITH JESSE LMAO IM DIFFUSING

juliaa__stirling: The way Ellie was laughing when Amelia said she messed up the cards was so rude and immature. Her fans are insane for defending her. All of that just because her ex fiancé gave a speech about working hard, imagine how she felt after being so honest with everyone just for her to not actually win and think about how she feels now reading all of these posts.

botoxangel: Celebrities have feelings too, Amelia made a mistake she's probably embarrassed but not as embarrassed as that poor woman is for putting her soul into a speech just for her ex and all of her fan girls to ridicule her for a mistake that wasn't even hers.

karaleaah778: Reply to botoxangel╰┈➤exactly! And why are people blaming Amelia??? She was given the envelope by someone else, she genuinely thought her friend won.

carlosislost: Why is Graham even invited to these events?????????

katie_katelynsm1th: Reply to carlosislost╰┈➤Bc it's funny when he causes a scene

howto_nevrst0ppbeingsad: I know you guys think this Grammy situation is so funny but it's really not. Graham is clearly mentally ill, this is a cry for help.

elleryc3llery: Reply to howto_nevrst0ppbeingsad╰┈➤Dude it's hilarious

3emmettttt: Reply to howto_nevrst0ppbeing sad╰┈➤The way you're worried about the has been and not the girl whose nose he broke

allysaaaa663638: LMAO THE WAY SHE ACTUALLY THOUGHT SHE WON THE AWARD AND SHE DESERVED IT SHDBDBEGHWWBSV

jessicadacoolest: Ellie is so real for laughing bc I would've done the same tbh

hennyrumwine: Dumb bitch deserved to be hit lollllllll

4444carmencarmen4444: I love the Ashmen's music but I hate Ellie sm, I just feel like she's a fuck girl and she gives me very rude vibes. Like laughing at her ex and then mocking her heartfelt speech is INSANE anyways stream Solstice

sittingwaiting_wishing: I honestly have hated Ellie since the breakup, she's changed so much since then. She used to be funny now she's just mean.

carissaandher_h0ttakes: I still think it's kind of crazy that Dina and Jesse followed through with Ellie on Smokey Eyes because they were really close to her when she was engaged to Ellie, can't imagine how many ties that album severed

elliessmokeyeye: Reply to carissaandher_h0ttakes╰┈➤I think about this all the time! She was literally the god mother for Dina and Jesses kid

carissaandher_h0ttakes: Reply to elliessmokeyeye╰┈➤it make me think that she might've done something to them to make them hate her the way Ellie does, Ellie did say that she didn't write all of the songs for Smokey Eyes 🤔🤔🤔

"Do you see how this backlash doesn't look good for anyone?" My agent, Caroline asks after showing me several Twitter posts that are under the trending tag.

"Well, it's not really my fault."

"Nonetheless, I think It's time for a rebrand." She sets her phone face down and looks at me from across her desk "Do you remember when you went on tour with the Ashmen when you were around twenty-one?"

My eyes go wide, I'm already shaking my head "Please-

"This is an awful event that you can turn into an amazing opportunity and capitalize on it," The backdrop behind Caroline is almost blinding, it's an annoyingly hot LA day and I want nothing more than to be back in Canada and swimming in lakes with my little sister.

"Caroline, mentally I can't handle a tour with Ellie."

"Mentally, you're gonna have to," She says, getting stern "Your fans either hate each other or they love both of you and feel like their parents have divorced."

I know that I will argue with Caroline for the next hour and threaten to fire her but eventually, she will win, so until then I am preoccupied with thoughts of everything but Ellie, soaking in the last moments I will have until she envelopes my brain and suffocates me from the inside out.

I am sure that with Ellie, I will die before winter comes and I am doubtful that I will ever bloom again.

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orkbutch · 2 months

Text

So, I'm not really in the weeds of Transgender Discourse on the internet (I have a life and also care about my mental health) but I've seen something discussed here about trans masculinity and I wanna talk about it.

I'm very masculine. I'm butch, I'm trans masc, I've always wanted to be masculine and I feel most comfortable when I'm presenting as such. Without much effort or any intention on my part I am read as a cis man day to day. Because I don't present more fem, in queer spaces I am read and recieved as a man, maybe trans, probably into other men. People do not even consider if I'm a butch lesbian unless there's Significant context indicating it. Because of this I'm viewed through 'Man Lens'; It feels a different if I say 'bitch', if I talk about my attraction to women. I don't get smiled at, people put physical distance between me and them as much as possible.

This is familiar for a lot of trans masculine people and trans men that aren't androgynous/fem leaning in their style, and it is an upsetting change to happen. It makes us feel judged or misunderstood to suddenly be causing this wariness in others; it feels prejudiced. I've seen people putting words to this like transmisandry. This is something they want to lessen in their communities, so they don't have to experience this anymore.

Now, here's my opinion part: That's not going to happen. You cannot tackle the "problem" of people responding to your masculinity with wariness. They aren't controlling the wariness, they can't. More importantly, their wariness toward masculinity and what registers in their brain as "man-like" is well founded. It's based in lifetimes of experiences and trauma that has told them men can be very unsafe to be around, and that is true. Most men are cis, and cis men are the most threatening thing in this world to non-cis men. They are usually* socially privileged above others, more likely to inflict violence, more likely to abuse and murder others, are typically physically more powerful than others. Everyone thats not a cis man DEEPLY internalises a very rational wariness of men, and masculine presentation as an extension. Especially men that are strangers. (*This is of course different when we consider intersections of race, colonialism, classism, ect. But globally this generalisation is still pretty accurate.)

Honestly, I don't think this wariness towards masculine presentation is something thats useful or realistic to challenge. Like many internalised processes it's probably a good idea to examine it and consider its usefulness, but I think it'd be easy to conclude that it is a useful wariness for people to have. Women have lots of reasons to be wary around men, including the unique threats of transmisogyny. Queer and gender deviant men have lots of reasons to be wary around men. This is The Reality of patriarchy.

Personally, the place I've come to with how women and queer people react to my masculinity (which is not entirely negative btw, the wariness is just one aspect) is that... I understand their wariness. I have it too, toward those my brain assumes are cis men. I cannot control how they feel or what they think about me. I can only be respectful to others and to myself and live my life. I flag my butchness where I can, I make my gender clear to those it matters to, and the rest I accept as largely beyond my influence. All of us have to do this in some places in our lives.

Even though my masculinity makes other queers wary, I have lots of friends! I've had no real trouble dating or finding intimacy. Initial wariness is just that. Once you understand each other, break the barrier, its usually settled. For anyone who finds my masculinity so offputting that we can't break the barrier, I'm glad neither of us put each other through that discomfort. I understand where a fear like that comes from. I will still hold community with them because that's what solidarity entails.

Anyway thats my ramble about masculinity in queer community, good bye until another. who knows how long

#back on the tumblr diary #personal #edited the section about women having reasons to fear men and transmisogyny; poorly phrased lol.

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tobiasdrake · 3 months

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One down, two to find. Let's see what else we can poke.

...that....

...that feels like an awfully big thing to ask of me. I don't know if I'm ready for that kind of a commitment.

...

I am so intimidated by this pretty flower right now. Um? UMMMM!?

HERE TEAM LEADER YOU ARE AN AWESOME TEAM LEADER PLEASE TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME AND DON'T READ ANYTHING INTO THIS.

I AM NOT QUALIFIED TO TAKE ON SUCH A HEAVY RESPONSIBILITY AS THIS.

GREAT. DO THAT. AND LET US NEVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN GOODBYE.

Felt tho.

This sign perfectly encapsulates my feelings for the intense Flower Mission I just had to undergo.

There they are. Hey there, Bon-bon, what's on your mind?

Whoa! Hostile. Guess you're not holding up so well, huh?

Yep, that explains the dourness.

Look, Bonnie, I'm not going to give you some platitudes about embracing Change even when it hurts or whatever. That's Mira's job. I think. I still don't fully understand the particular creeds of our religion.

What I am going to tell you is that you aren't wrong for feeling it. These feelings you're experiencing are entirely valid. I want you to open yourself up and let yourself process them.

Carry them with you. And then, tomorrow, I want you to take those feelings and turn them into violence. I'm not going to tell you that it will be okay. I'm going to tell you that the hurricane of violence we unleash tomorrow is how we make it okay.

This is a child terrified for an imperiled loved one. I don't know why I even asked. They obviously have only one thing on their mind right now.

Yep. Hostile. Okay, so my takeaway from this conversation is that Bonnie is going through a lot and seems nice enough to the people they like, but absolutely hates my guts for some reason.

Okay, one left. That just leaves the Favor Tree.

HEY THERE BIZZA-ZISS... Busy....

Hey Isa, how's your favor coming along?

If you can't think of a favor to ask, you could ask it for some kind of imprint of the tree itself that you can take with you. Then you'll always be able to remember how cool it is.

...

OOH OOH, I should ask the Favor Tree for little statuettes of my face that I can hand out to people. Same reason.

Oh. It doesn't grant wishes or anything? That's disappointing.

Hold on, let me jot this down in my Pocket Notes. "Followers of Change pray to large nearby flora instead of their deity." Got it. I am suddenly much less enthused about the Favor Tree.

Sure, that passes muster. Cool. Cool-cool-cool.

Honestly, I've heard worse superstitions. Even if it doesn't work, offering prayers to a nearby tree is pretty harmless. I'm not going to be mean about it.

Honestly, you should. Your whole aesthetic is working for you. I particularly like the way your earrings hang down low enough to reach the rise of your turtleneck collar to create the impression of a smooth continuation.

The matching nail polish helps, too. I realize we're very limited in our available color palettes but you've got just the right amount of contrast to bring the whole look together. I think you're going to go far.

Oh, we have a habit of doing this? Cool, that makes me feel much more comfortable with it. Don't know why Croc Lady made a fuss if Isa and I are already used to being bunkmates. Maybe she's weirded out by platonic male intimacy.

Hang on a second, let me jot that down on her Pocket Note.

"Possibly Toxic???"

There we go. All set.

#in stars and time #drake plays in stars and time

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gaiuskamilah · 9 months

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why do you think that confession was "eww sex so gross porn is sinful" and not "pb is gonna keep making crappy porn books with sex every chapter bc it what makes them money instead making stories with substance"

like. have you seen the vip books.

i know this ask is rhetorical and you're not looking for an actual answer but i'm going to take this as an opportunity to vocalize all my thoughts regarding the trend anyway.

for the record, no, i don't play the smut books. i'm more interested in PB's adventure and horror books, and thus those are the ones i actually invest myself in most. if i wanted to consume porn i would look for it elsewhere because choices' smut books don't interest me for a number of reasons. i also don't play or pay for VIP. however, i know enough about the vip and smut books to know enough about them they cater to a very specific audience: older women interested in escapist, arguably "taboo" sexual fantasies who are willing and have the means to spend money on the sex stories they like.

i have no idea if anyone in this fandom has actually bothered to understand economics or even recognize that we live under a capitalist system, but the way a good number of people and career complainers take it out on the writers and how PB just "chose" to make porn never sat right with me. especially since most of these people, again, do not take into account or even vehemently refuse to consider the context and circumstances of the production behind the games. the writers have time and time again been open regarding the circumstances behind book production, and they have always mentioned that economic factors play a large part in it because they work within a capitalist market. here are some times they've spoken about it, particularly andrew in 2019 (writer for blades, bloodbound, endless summer, crimes, etc.) and kara in 2023 (TRR, TCATF):

the trend of smut and single LI books started in 2020 with the release of books like the nanny affair, queen b, and wolf bride. if you check the top 10 category on the app, TNA and WB are both in it — an indication that they do well revenue-wise. companies are driven by data and when they're successful, in kara's words, "it's easier to make a case for making more like them." also please remember that 2020 was the year covid broke out and no doubt affected the production in pixelberry in a negative way the way it did other industries. it's no wonder then that they've since resorted to making smut books since they need to make up for the losses in 2020 as well as keep up with global inflation (this is my own hypothesis— i haven't had the time to check pb's reports, but they are public for anyone who wants to look them up. i have seen a post detailing that PB's revenue has been declining in the past year or so).

it's easy for people to just say and complain "pb is gonna keep making crappy porn books with sex every chapter bc it what makes them money instead making stories with substance" and to an extent i agree. they are going to make "crappy porn books" because it's what makes them money. but they aren't greedy assholes and even your beloved andrew shvarts has asked fans to not portray them that way.

i found that confession dramatic because i think it exemplifies two trends that i've seen in the choices fandom in the past few years i've been here: the tendency to regard the writers as money-hungry cunts without understanding the capitalist circumstances and the liberal "everything must be pure and wholesome and respectable" push back against anything that isn't god-revering missionary sex.

"Honestly the fact that choices' porn-masquerading-as-plot books makes the most money for them scares me. A lot." please ask yourself why that scares you. aside from the obvious fact that people don't seem to or just refuse to understand the economic reason for creating these books, please ask yourself why choices' mediocre porn "scares you". these stories cater to a specific audience as i mentioned before: older women interested in escapist and "taboo" sex fantasies. having these fantasies aren't bad and we really do not need people acting like entertaining them through a self-insert app game (with warnings holding your fucking hand and telling you this isn't necessarily good and giving you the chance to opt out should you please) is akin to being a sex offender. the only thing you're doing is reinventing thoughtcrimes.

sex is one of the most normal things in the world. whether or not you personally have sex you can't deny that it's been a factor in the lives of many and frankly you wouldn't even be alive if your parents didn't decide to suck and fuck. in a world where women's desires are suppressed and aren't taken seriously, why do so-called "progressive" fans find it disgusting that some women might want to spend some money to safely explore their sexual fantasies? enough to be disgusted by it that they say they are "scared" by it? it's trashy, it's stupid, it lacks substance, and who the fuck cares? you are not inherently better than these women, and 95% of the time all i see in the tags are people focusing on the romance aspect of these "substantial" books anyway. if you seriously think that an app game like choices can magically make cheating and having affairs a "normal and good" thing irl then you're just a fucking idiot. if game of thrones and house of the dragon didn't make siblings worldwide suck and fuck then what makes you think that choices can abolish the western institution of monogamy overnight?

at some point some people just have to realize that they have the choice (lmao) to close the app and delete it if they aren't happy with it. if you don't like their porn books then go play something else, they have an expansive library and beyond that there are tons of interactive fiction games, dating sims, and visual novels to explore. that's not even touching the fact that you can, i don't know, read an actual fucking book if you want. i see no point in consciously sitting and tapping through these books when you know they just make you miserable and add to the statistics of people playing it. you can't dismantle the capitalist system overnight but you can choose to just not play an app game if it makes you want to peel your skin off.

#playchoices #choices #anonymous #answered

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tubbytarchia · 3 months

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I NEED YOUR EXPERT ADVICE. I'm making Hermit designs but I've been kin-assigning them animals because as a furry artist I cannot draw humans. I've been choosing animals based on personality/behavior and not just looks. Do you have any ideas for Joel, Impulse, or Skizz? Gem too if you've got one, I don't want to stick with Just fandom-popular animals (deer/fox/etc). IF U DO NOT HAVE THOUGHTS THAT IS OKAY TOO, TY FOR READING ANYWAYS <3

Oughh this is a good question uhh I don't have many nor the best ideas probably by a long shot but if it can even just help spark some ideas, here's some!!

Joel - Donkey honestly! Hot-headed, stubborn, loud little things. To me, Joel is a heavy hitter not caring for stealth etc and makes himself known. Think of how farmers often get a solitary donkey to protect their livestock because of the sheer ferocity of those territorial things. Donkeys may often be associated with undesirable traits but they kick and bite like pawns of hell, just because they can, not even because its necessary to defend themselves. They will kick to kill and they'll make sure of it. Kinda Joel coated to me tbh, even if Joel isn't always great at getting that kind of job done. Just from the way donkeys are often perceived though I think it fits.. For pretty much the same reasons also, a rooster?? Significantly less deadly (accurate to Joel) but still capable of great malice!! And obviously often seen as very prideful much like Joel

Impulse - this came up in my dinosaur assigning, but bull! Impulse is usually depicted as a bulky guy with a strong build and horns, like a bull! The bull has a bunch of symbolism thrown at it but that includes stuff like strength and loyalty, attributes I think are often assigned to Impulse. And at points, Impulse does showcase these, but he can also become hot headed, arrogant, and he holds grudges like hell. These aren't traits you usually think of with a bull though, lest you think of bull-fighting. I think it fits Impulse because on surface level, and from a lot of people's understanding, you don't think of these less desirable traits. He also seems to think rather highly of himself and doesn't often deem it necessary to prove his loyalty etc when others doubt him. Bulls aren't as hot-headed as the awful bull-fighting sport might have you believe but they are still rather easily aggravated! A lot of animals can "hold grudges" for a prolonged time, but elephants and camels especially, so, something fitting in that too (especially with those once again being bulky large animals. The camel I guess is more lanky than bulky though...)

Skizz - Of course Skizz just makes me think of lovely birds when I try and assign something to him. Immediate thought was swan but... Swans are ferocious fighters and Skizz is... not Mayhaps an albatross instead if we stick with birds - they're also birds known for their love and conviction, but also the fun rumor that killing an albatross will leave you cursed. That kind of makes me think of Skizz's "I only kill those who deserve it" mindset. Harm him and he will (try to) get back at you Maybe even a crow, for how social they are but also how capable of remembering faces If we want non-birds, I think any animal that's passive and chill but valiantly protective of their own could fit? Or because Skizz is kind of always friendly, could lean into that and assign him the capybara, which I can't imagine is much good at fighting much like him. Or maybe an animal that has an unimpressive and maybe laughable defense mechanism to a human, like the way raccoons or red pandas stand on their hind legs to try and threaten you, the same way Skizz on his red life will dye his hair red or wear a red speedo

Gem - Surprisingly tough... I love the usual deer themeing with her so I automatically wanna assign her another herbivore that is thought to be very passive or docile but one that could very much fuck you up. Honestly... I know it doesn't make for good hybrid material at all but..hippos... just for how fucking murderous they are. Maybe a good ol horse instead? Because horses especially are widely domesticated and people very often make the mistake of getting too close etc only to get kicked in the face. Gem doesn't listen to anyone man she's her own boss!! A cow works for similar reasons. Deadly beasts even if often seen as totally docile... I love this kind of idea because it draws so much attention to how spearheaded Gem is But I could also imagine her as a predator like an ocelot etc. She very much acts like one I think. That's why it's so tough, so much stuff fits her!!

#blabber #thinking about donkey Joel a lot now

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rainytigerdinosaur · 1 year

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Analysis of a Predatory File - Sigil - Hypdom

Welcome! I'm going to be putting together a series of posts detailing predatory files--what makes them predatory, and what to watch for. It's my hope that this will spread awareness of the sorts of suggestions that are red flags from the get go as well as guiding people away from dangerous people in the community.

For this first installment, I'll be talking about hypdom's "intro" file Sigil. This isn't the worst of his files by a long shot (we'll get to those...), but it still exhibits some red flags, and it's important to look at the beginning to understand how files build on each other and how seemingly innocuous suggestions can build into much more sinister ones.

If you're unfamiliar with hypdom, he's a predatory hypnotist who's been around for a long, long time in the hypno community largely keeping quiet and doing his best to appear safe. I've personally worked with some of his victims, though, and can say he's absolutely not someone you want to be involved with. He ignores boundaries, does not seek consent, negotiates in trance, breaks down safeties, victim blames, instills fear and anxiety to protect himself and his suggestions, and has had significantly negative impacts on the lives of people he's played with.

(And, honestly, his files aren't even particularly good! If you're going to get addicted to something, there's better out there. There's a reason Sigil has a "this is the best file you've ever watched" suggestion in it! Good files stand on their own.)

Unfortunately in cases like this it's frequently one person's word against another's, so I hope by discussing his files it'll be clear he's someone to avoid.

Let's get to it...

Red Flags

Always Listen to the End

"And you're always going to listen from the beginning to the end of any of my files."

This is excessively bad. It's just one line, and it might be easy to miss or not think anything of, but this is a keystone of the foundation. It's attempting to embed the suggestion in the listener's mind that regardless of how they feel of a file they'll always listen all the way through. There's absolutely no reason for this suggestion other than to set the listener up for shady suggestions in later files as well as ensuring if they start to listen they'll continue listening.

Make no mistake. This is bad and any file setting something like this up should absolutely without reservation be considered predatory.

Focuses on Weakening Resistance

"See how resisting just makes you weaker" "The more you resist, the faster you drop" "Completely unable to resist the sound of my voice" "It's so hard to keep resisting because it just makes your mind weaker"

Resistance inductions are a thing, and this isn't necessarily uncommon, but it's still a red flag to immediately set in at weakening resistances. This is very much phase 1 of predatory hypnosis, introducing resistance play as part of trance and slowly wearing down resistances--particularly in a file set to be listened to repeatedly. We'll see plenty of this in later files also.

Directing to Contact the Creator

"You're going to feel like this is the best file you've ever watched, and you're going to want to tell me so."

Any file that directs you to contact them should immediately be considered shady and predatorial, but this file takes it one step further adding a suggestion that this is "the best file you've ever watched." The direction is a little insidious also, as it's not "You want to contact me" but "You want to tell me this is the best file you've ever watched," reframing the contact to make it a bit more likely you'll reach out.

Addiction

"Feel how good it feels just to listen to my voice again and again." "Desperate for (my voice). Addicted to it." "You listen to me. You need it. You want it. You want it." "Loving my hypnosis. Needing my hypnosis." "You need this, don't you." "Every time you see one of (my symbols), you're going to want to come back here and listen to this again." "Feels so good to drop for me over and over, again and again." "You love to listen to me, don't you." "You're going to find that you want to come back here very soon. Maybe right now." "You're going to watch this file again, aren't you. Maybe right now."

The one thing that's actually advertised on these files, though the "might" is a bit light considering how heavily it pushes addiction both to this file and his hypnosis in general.

This sort of thing might seem fun at a glance if you're into mind control, cnc, and the like, but it can be extremely dangerous. Especially with a hypnotist and set of files like this where you start in, things seem fine and safe, and then eventually they're not, but the addiction's set in and every time you try to pull away you find yourself coming right back. This'll become more clear as the files progress also.

Another thing to note here is the final suggestion. "You're going to watch this again...maybe right now." Keep in mind this file's weakening resistance and increasing obedience and the final suggestion does not offer an out. No "If you want to" or "If you feel like it". Just "Maybe right now." Which might seem like an out, but it's actually a gentle push back in. (And don't worry! This push will become much less gentle as we go further into his files.) This is outright unsafe and unethical, leaving a listener to loop an unknown number of times.

Final Words

Hopefully this gives some insight into things to watch out for in files. As mentioned above, a very important thing to remember is that frequently files will build on each other with the "starter" file laying a groundwork and each file after progressively layering more and more suggestions. It's not just the first file that matters but every file the hypnotist has created, particularly when the files are building addiction and a need to listen.

Make sure if you're going to listen to files that (if you can safely) you skip the induction and deepener and check the suggestions in the middle to see what you're getting into. If you can't, ask someone you trust who's familiar with hypnotic suggestions to check them out for you. Going in blind may seem fun and sexy, but it's a surefire way to end up in a bad situation.

Play safe.

#safety #safe hypnosis #predators #predatory hypnosis #predatory hypnotists #hypdom #sigil #hypnosis files

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jakowskis · 8 months

Text

💖💙💜 owen harper bisexuality masterpost 💖💙💜

i've had this in my drafts for a minute but i figured i'd finish it up and post it today for bisexual visibility day :D

it hasn't cropped up recently, but i've seen a lot of people who've questioned owen's bisexuality over the years and i thought i'd compile all the 'evidence' (although it completely baffles me that we got a show with five canonical bisexual characters and people want to write two of them off as straight / "heterflexible" ?? there shouldn't have to be 'proof' of owen being bi, RTD said torchwood is about five bisexuals fighting aliens in cardiff which means they're all bi, full stop. also, bisexuals should never have to 'prove' they're bi, and in regards to fictional characters, i'm sick of people nit-picking who 'deserves' to be counted as rep and refusing to 'claim' certain characters if they're morally grey or if the fandom simply doesn't Like them as much-)

but i digress.

so without further ado, here's everything i've found that supports owen's status as a bicon :-)

explicit canon instances

➤➤ obviously, we have to start with his gay kiss in the first episode of the show. there's a lot to be said about that kiss, i'm not gonna get into all that here, but i've seen a lot of people say it's not proof of owen being attracted to men, and i wholeheartedly disagree. you can literally catch him smiling very happily after the kiss (and one of owen's few genuine smiles of the series, too). i don't think a straight man (or even a "heteroflexible" man) would beam at another guy who's just informed him that he wants to fuck him. a fair amount of people have also said they interpreted owen calling the taxi as him intending to get away from the couple, but i don't understand how they're getting that impression, because that smile makes it seem very much apparent to me that running away is the last thing he wants to do.

it's also, notably, the first time we see bisexuality IN the bisexual show, which i don't think should be discounted. like, we see owen do something gay before jack does, for fuck's sake. is it a good first impression of how torchwood portrays bisexuality? no. is setting owen up as a more sex-driven, opportunistic bisexual nicely contrasted against ianto & tosh's more romance-oriented brand of demisexual bi/pansexuality? in my opinion, yes. i love that the torchwood bisexuals all practice their bisexuality in different ways. that's very special to me. 'cause it's realistic! real bisexuals all experience bisexuality differently! obviously it'd be a different story if he was the only bi rep, because lord knows we've seen enough of that already, but torchwood makes an effort to show us five different brands of bisexuality, and five different bi stories that largely only exist in the subtext, that aren't the focus of the show, and it's fantastic. it's all i could ever want out of bi rep, honestly, even if it is a bit dated now.

➤➤ the other explicit moment in the show: asking tosh and ianto for an end-of-the-world threesome in sleeper (s2ep2). i've actually never seen owen bi-deniers (fhdskjf it's a conspiracy) even mention this scene. owen literally asks ianto if they can have sex with each other to his face, and he's dead serious when he asks it. that's... i mean you can't mistake that as anything else. like fhdsjkf??

➤➤ next we jump to some of the, i suppose, extended universe content. whether the books are canon or not is debated, but the novel 'another life' features owen playing an online simulation game, and it makes a point to depict owen flirting with someone with a male avatar + wondering to himself if the guy would be down for cyber-sex. [someone posted part of that scene here. for context, owen's also got a VR headset on during that bit.]

➤➤ another instance is on the website, which some also don't regard as canon, but, i mean, i don't know who worked on the things we see on that site, but obviously they got their information from somewhere. they probably consulted with the writers on the show, or at the very least got notes on what things to touch on. anyway, there's a portion of the site where you can find a 'background check' on owen, and it's just a collection of messages from some ex-lovers of his. one of them is a man.

again, some people disregard the canon validity of the website, but the way i see it, the information on this site was released while the show was airing for fans to look at and to gain further insight on the characters. one of the things they felt a need to tell us about owen, important enough to be featured in his background (wayyy before the katie plot was developed), was that he wasn't just interested in women. personally, i regard that as canon. you can find this here. and even if you wanna say fragments jossed this background, it doesn't joss his, like... identity.

next we have things said by russell t. davies himself + by burn gorman (owen's actor)

➤➤ again, RTD (who's torchwood's creator, but i'm assuming everyone reading this knows that) explicitly described torchwood as "a bunch of bisexuals living under cardiff and fighting aliens". that's not ambiguous. [i don't have a direct source for this quote, it was apparently said on the dvd extras.]

burn's comments on owen's sexuality include...

➤➤ (when asked who owen fancies) "Owen's pretty cocky, he'll try it on with whoever comes along." [x] and yes, this is vague, but vagueness is often interpreted as proof of bisexuality. (for example, in the pacific rim dvd features, newt's bio stating he was interested in "whoever will take him" was widely interpreted by the fandom as him being bi.)

➤➤ (in regards to owen's "let's all have sex" line) "I don't think he [...] thinks about the implications, or whether it's with a man or a woman." [x]

(ok i have to admit, although i absolutely adore burn, i'm not super fond of the way his 2006-08 self would talk about how torchwood handled sexuality*. however! he kind of hit the nail on the head in saying that, even if it's in the context of owen wanting end-of-the-world sex, because my take on how owen sees his own sexuality has always essentially boiled down to thinking he'd be like, "well, why wouldn't men also be an option?" (well, with sexual attraction anyway; i think owen's relationship with romantic attraction is far more complex.) i think he resembles jack in that way; anyone's a prospective sexual partner, if they're attractive and interesting and he decides he wants them, and he's also impulsive as hell, so he doesn't think too hard about gender in the moment if he decides he's into someone. there's not really any hang-ups.)

➤➤ and ofc...

(out of context this could look like he's just jokingly calling owen an alien-fucker, although owen makes his thoughts on alien-fucking pretty clear in countrycide lol, but it was said in the context of owen/andy as a ship [x].)

*if you're wondering what i'm referring to, it's a comment here [x] about how the torchwood team's bisexuality is a result of being in a pressure cooker environment and having a 'wartime mentality', and they just kind of 'take what they can get'. the implication that bisexuality is out of desperation/accessibility rather than attraction is pretty damn icky, BUT i love him lots and he generally seems to be pretty woke these days (+ otherwise has always seemed to grasp why torchwood's rep was so unique and groundbreaking and important) so i'll go ahead and hope that was just, y'know, simple 'being a straight guy in 2008' ignorance. fifteen years is a long time and i have faith his opinions have evolved by now, esp considering he used the word 'pansexual' at a 2016 con [x]. (actually, ok, you caught me, that last bit wasn't super relevant and i didn't need to bring it up, but i just wanted to gush about him doing it because how often do you hear that word out of celebs, especially older and presumably straight ones. and in 2016, too. kinda slay of him, ngl)

aaand finally, some random, non-explicit little things that i think support him being a bisexy king (several of these are goofy and half-serious)

➤➤ in episode 2, they make a point to cut to owen smiling after jack's line about "you people and your quaint little labels". one might argue he's smiling at gwen & carys on the screen, but cutting to him immediately after jack says it very much implies he's reacting to jack's words, and i think it's particularly poignant after, again, we saw him kiss a man the episode prior. (which, another thing - owen's literal introduction features him kissing a man, like that's gotta count for something. if the literal third thing i ever see a male character do ever is kiss a guy, that means something.)

➤➤ and of course, in the same episode, we get "period military is not the dress code of a straight man" .... owen's the only one of them with working gaydar. also what a fruity thing to say

➤➤ speaking of fruity things to say, in s2e10 when they're all watching the old film, owen goes "look at the state of them 💅" and he says it SO cunty for no reason it always kills me fhsdkjfd

➤➤ combat.

➤➤ no, really.

➤➤ bonus: in the combat commentary, it's mentioned that when RTD saw the above scene between mark & owen, he said it was "the gayest thing he'd ever seen".

➤➤ in the three monkeys, a big finish audio featuring owen & andy, owen flirts with andy repeatedly. even if he just does it to be annoying, it's still pretty damn gay. also the pet names... (he calls him sweetheart, sunshine, and tiger. it's half-mocking, sure, especially because it's owen, but there's also a domesticity to it.)

➤➤ and then there's the hope's "you're alive again and you want crisps?!" "be glad that's all i'm asking for" (owen was like 'i will not use this as an excuse to try to sleep w andy i will not use this as an excuse to try to sleep w andy i will not use th') these are the only two audios i've heard with this duo, i'm sure there's more examples in the other two. i know gooseberry literally has owen sabotaging andy's relationship with his gf and that is... woohoohoo.... i'll update this once i get through those.

➤➤ …. this is my personal opinion but i lowkey think he kinda wants john hart a bit when they all first meet him in kkbb hdskjfds. gwen & tosh both seem very charmed by him and they're meant to, it's supposed to be like 'oh, look at jack's ex waltzing in and charming the pants off everyone (ha), and only ianto and jack see through him' - owen isn't given a flirty line of dialogue or even a close-up shot of him eyeing john like the girls get, but if you watch him closely he certainly looks… intrigued by him. i think owen's more of a bi disaster than he lets on.

➤➤ in episode 10, diane notes that owen has "beauty products" in his bathroom. obviously this shouldn't be indicative of sexuality, but how many Straight Men in 2006 were moisturizing lmao. hell, how many do nowadays 😭

➤➤ gwen & owen's dynamic settles into a lovely little friendship in s2 and owen lowkey gives gbf vibes <3 them making fun of the movie in s2e10 together + the cheek-kissing at the end of s2e9… bi besties!!

➤➤ the peace sign he throws up in meat when he meets rhys fdsjk i don't even believe in some of the silly internet jokes abt bi culture but c'mon

➤➤ have you seen his taste in women. diane is soo butch and gwen's a total tomboy in s1. that's bi culture babey!!!! i too like girls when they're boys

➤➤ i already talked about it but the aforementioned scene where he asks tosh and ianto for a threesome... he asks them, like, immediately after they team up and bully him for not comprehending that there's "no phones. phones all broken. anyone there? no, 'cause the phones aren't working." that was suuuch a disaster bi owen moment for me. i too would get a little revved up if tosh and ianto both bullied me at once <3

aaand finally... the biggest Evidence of all....

➤➤ he's a leather jacket bisexual. need i say more

and that's all! thanks for reading!

[credit for the dividers used in this. didn't tumblr used to have built-in dividers? i miss that.]

#mine #torchwood #torchwood posting #owen harper #tell me why im nervous to post this fhdskfds #my anxiety is like someone's gonna get mad at me for this somehow #shhhhh #beating it with a broom #look at my post boy

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proshippers-against-censorship · 28 days

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https://www.tumblr.com/proshippers-against-censorship/749092539698757632/see-thats-specifically-what-i-was-talking-about?source=share

First of all, I'd like to say I'm sorry for how offended I sounded in this post. I was offended, and honestly, I still am. I don't understand how any logical person can genuinely consider pedophilia to be such a non-issue as in the reblog you shared, and it terrifies me. The fact people can not only say things like that, but it's a widely shared opinion in this community is specifically why I don't feel safe in proship circles anymore. I've tried to put my thoughts together in a (hopefully) clearer manner.

I think there are some subjects that inherently don't deserve to be treated with polite discussion the same way most do.

You don't debate with people about transphobia or racism because making it a debate implies it's even something that needs to be considered from "the other side" at all, and I think pedophilia needs to be treated the same way. What pedophiles think shouldn't matter in the same way that what homophobes think doesn't matter. I hope we can agree that the fact we've gotten to a point where what rights gay people deserve is considered a political topic is horrible, and I believe we've gotten to that point in part because engaging with the subject at all lends credibility to it. It's a relevant/correct enough opinion that it has to be argued about, and that puts their foot in the door.

Whether or not pedophilia is objectively bad shouldn't even be a discussion, let alone one so widespread and pressing in this community that almost everyone has a statement about it somewhere on their blog. Echo chambers aren't beneficial to anyone when there's a conversation to be had and outside perspectives to consider about a given topic. But you can't seriously engage with people who try to defend pedophilia (offending or not) in the same way that you wouldn't consider the viewpoints of people talking about how they think being gay is immoral. We cannot lend credence to what these people think, and treating the discussion like a debate to be had at all gives them all the validity they need.

These are dangerous things to be posting. I know you probably get the words "normalization" and "politicization" thrown at you a lot, but that's what you're doing by posting/reblogging things like that. Trying to make pedophilia seem like something that shouldn't define a person and isn't innately bad or immoral is normalizing pedophilia, and considering their points at all is politicizing pedophilia. Of course, you as one blog runner aren't going to suddenly make everyone believe that pedophilia isn't that bad, but I don't think it's a coincidence it's such a common sentiment in this community. Nowhere else even engages with the idea, so it doesn't surprise me that neutral/positive feelings toward actual, real pedophiles is all too common here.

There are some things that don't need to be given the dignity of being an argument to be considered, and I believe pedophilia is one of them. You don't genuinely listen to or consider whether Jewish space lasers caused the California wildfires because that's objectively an insane thing to say out loud. Nobody hears that and thinks, "Well, I should at least hear what they have to say to back it up, maybe they can say something insightful." I think we should treat people trying to defend pedophilia with the same attitude.

I've noticed how normal it's treated as in this community, and I mentioned the slip backwards in my original ask. The general consensus on "para discourse" keeps going farther little by little and it scares the living shit out of me. First, I was told that proshippers don't support attraction to real children. Then, I saw that far too large a chunk of the proship community are actually attracted to real children and self-identify as MAPs. Then, I was told they were deeply ashamed and used their blogs to vent about their sicknesses and would never seek out contact with children. And now, I'm being told it actually is okay for pedophiles to be in contact with kids and that they shouldn't feel ashamed of it. We keep walking backwards as a community, and I don't feel safe or comfortable with it anymore.

If you (proshippers in general) don't want people to assume you're a pedophile when there's a community-wide pattern of pedophilia apology and normalization, you have to be loud about disavowing them and excommunicating them from your community. You can't be in a community that's 1/5 pedophiles, defend them with your platform, and welcome them into your spaces with open arms, and then be shocked when people assume you're a pedophile too. Especially when that pattern drives out people who are also staunchly anti-pedophile. It's a serious problem I don't see many people try to do anything about. There are awful people everywhere, but I've never seen a group where they're so loud and visible with it. The fact they feel comfortable doing so here is another testament to how normalized it is in this community, and you as a community really shouldn't let it get any worse. You shouldn't tolerate sharing a space with pedophiles.

-anti anon

A big thing you still have to keep in mind is that paraphilias are not controllable. You don't wake up one day and decide you want to have a piss kink or a sadist kink or anything of the sort. It just kind of happens. And the big three paras are the same way. It's not quite something you choose.

But what you can control is the damage that occurs because you have that paraphilia. Just because you're into piss doesn't mean you are going to piss on your non-consenting partner. Just because you're into sadism doesn't mean you are going to hurt your non-consenting partner. Just because you have a big three para doesn't mean you're going to actually engage with the subject of those paras.

And that's what should be endorsed. Because, frankly, not endorsing anti-contact kink/para acceptance goes against something else I'm also very much so about - harm reduction. Acceptance leads to finding healthy outlets. A lack of acceptance often leads to unhealthy outlets and harm.

And I don't want to ever find myself on the side that leads to the most harm. And frankly, neither should anybody else.

It's like dog cropping. Keep it legal or you'll end up with backyard hack jobs.

#hope that made sense #im tired #i heavily endorse others to chime in #proshippers against censorship #jackal barks #proship please interact #proship positivity #proship #proshippers please interact #proshipper safe #proshipping #proshipper #anti anti #ask #asks #anti stance

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allamericansbitch · 18 days

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i want to preface this by saying that i became a fan of taylor after lover (which is ironic because it's one of my bottom 2 albums by her) but honestly i don't really care for taylor anymore, i saw her in july last year and enjoyed the concert and everything but again that was mainly because of the experience of it being my first big stadium show and the vibes of everyone dancing and singing along. and i'm really glad that i did have that experience. but i literally listened to ttpd once and i can't stand midnights for the most part, and my dislike for the music coupled with the way she's acted in the past year has really turned me off of her.

that being said, i think it's fascinating how taylor coopts whatever is big in the moment as part of her aesthetic for that album. like for lover era she was huge on politics and activism and lgbtq/women's rights because that kind of advocacy was really mainstream and popular at the time. and now it's been like four years since then and she doesn't really outwardly express any political sentiment one way or another. for folklore and evermore she really leaned into the quiet/homey/cottagecore aesthetic that was so popular during quarantine. and for midnights and the poets album she is really leaning into that whole depression/mental illness vibe that's really popular on social media right now, especially with the i'm just a girl rhetoric that's huge on tiktok. i can't really articulate that link super well but i feel like it's definitely there lol

all that to say, taylor's choice in aesthetics are so varied and that's fine in some cases i guess , but in some cases switching up like that out of nowhere is outright harmful - like her not caring about politics anymore, or romanticizing the "mental illness aesthetic" like she's doing right now. i don't know what i'm trying to get at here, but i feel like she wants to make sure she's as "in" as possible without considering how with such a large platform she is actively offending hundreds of thousands if not millions of people. and sure maybe she's disconnected from reality because of her fame so she can't really understand the impact of her actions (personally i don't think this, just a counterargument) but what i really don't understand is why someone on her team or a friend doesn't just say this to her. does no one care?

i totally agree and while reading this i may have thought of a possible reason she does this. i feel like this trend you're talking about really kicked into high gear with lover and making the entire theme of the album involve something very hot in the culture at the time, and what also kicked off at the time was Taylor being worried about her aging out of the industry and not being allowed to be successful anymore, like her talking about lover being her last chance for a hit album. so i think she, consciously or not, wanted to make sure she was keeping up with trends and being young.

and like you said this extends to now where it's very obvious she's not learning what the actual mental health terms mean and is more using them in a trendy way, she's not giving them any weight or making it known that she's serious, because serious mental health conversations aren't trendy, using them for dramatic purposes is. calling yourself 'delusional', 'manic' or having intrusive thoughts for comedic, dramatized purposes is what everyone is doing and now she's including herself in this trend of casual ableism and has also now crossed a line into blatantly using it for aesthetic purposes.

again whether this is a conscious choice or not, she's really just coming across as so un-self-aware and has no feet on the ground whatsoever, to the point where she'll just go with what's trendy to fit in with the young generation and make them like her and it's gotten to the point of no return it feels like

#answered #anonymous

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the-demons-writings · 8 months

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I really liked your Empires S1 Scott x child reader. Are you thinking of doing a part 3?

Just for you Pt3

Empires S1 Scott x Dsmp Child dragon reader .

Sorry it's truly been so long! I hope you all also enjoy the new immage

[Pt1] || [Pt2] || [Pt3]

The next morning you're nothing but tired and moving slow. However you're warm and comfortable.

As you glance up at the windows and look through to see snow piled against them. Taking a slower look around the room you notice a chair and two pairs of clothes left for you along with a towel and small array of soaps and healthcare products .

With regret as the colder air hits you , you get up dragging the smaller comforter along. Slowly you walk up to the chair and take the outfits into your arms along with the care products and towel. Thinking about it you probably do need to be clean seeing as you didn't exactly clean yourself of the night or day before. Cautiously you peak your head outside of the room looking about only to be greeted by someone who isn't Scott.

Looking up at him he's tall, has plenty of fish features and almost reminds you of Sally had he not been a different fish. His clothes are nothing like Scott's, his are run down patchy and mud colored. At his hips draping down over his baggy pants are fishnets and on top of his head he's wearing something that kinda looks like a large fish, not to mention he's covered in slime.

You start to shrink away but you aren't sneaky or fast enough as he spots you and drops to your height with a smile. "Hey, Y/N right? Do you need any help?" He offers. He's surprisingly friendly compared to the tones you're used too outside of Scott this far.

However you nod though unsure if you're comfortable talking around him you simply offer you your soap in hopes he'll understand what you happen to be looking for.

He tilts his head in response wondering what you mean. "Is soap not good for you? Do you need a different bar? Hold on, I'll go ask Xornoth about dragon hygiene." He smiles , it's odd how excitable he is. Honestly it makes you nervous.

He leaves you in the hallway awkwardly clutching your things for a good few minutes before you hear him again, it's quieter and he's not directly talking to you either . Presumably he's talking to this Xornoth person he went to ask questions .

As he comes back it's with a person eerily similar to Scott if not for the violent shift in color palette. They hum offering their hand out. Instinctually you back up , frightened. The fishy boy whispers something to them that you don't quite catch. Immediately the Scott look alike drops to a knee with a sigh. They take the time to raise up a singular wing, built much like your own, only not as tattered. It's still ruined in its own ways though. The outfit he wears has cuts for both of their wings however where the other should be you can see scarring so you can presume there was another wing at some point.

There's a moment of silence between everyone before they speak. "Y/n, may I see the soap so I can assure it's good for you , Jimmy told me you seem to be having issues." Their tone isn't as friendly as Scotts however it's soft and has a light distortion to it .

You hesitantly offer out all your items including the soap and your Scott look alike, who you think is named Xornoth is quick to bring their palm to their face. "Jimmy, they're new here, they're probably looking for the bathroom so they can get clean.". They sigh heavily, glancing over at you and gesturing for you to follow them. "C'mon Y/n, I'll show you where the bathroom is"

Soon you're lead to the bathroom and left to do your business, it wasn't all that far from your room. You feel a little ashamed needing to ask for help but once you get there you wave to Xornoth honestly quite thankful that he was at least somewhat nice about it.

You took a nice warm shower and soon got dressed . As you excited the bathroom you decided you'd explore some. Immediately you were greeted with a large open area. Looking around you spotted Scott. Scott seemed to be talking to Jimmy. You made your way up silently standing there for a moment before Scott spoke.

"Hey Y/n how are you feeling? Are you ready to eat?" He asks, glancing at you smiling as he notices you're now clean and in a newer pair of .

You nodded slowly starting to follow behind, staying just at the end of his cape not wanting to be too far or too close. He lead you to the kitchen and gestures for you to sit , a smiles perched on his lips as he gestured to a plate.

Looking at it, it was clearly softer food. Though it also held more hard and filling food, thankfully before you started to eat, Scott did inform you that you didn't have to eat the whole thing , he just wanted to make sure you're okay and at least eating properly.

Soon Jimmy and Xornoth joined you both for breakfast. Xornoth poked and prodded at their food while Jimmy simply ate as much as he could. Scott was somewhere in the middle eating but not being picky about it whatsoever. As you ate you happened to get a cold chill, you quickly pulled to yourself a shaky breath.

Xornoth sighed, excused themselves and dropped their cape over you before leaving. Scott smirked at the action. It seems they can all agree that you're destined for something and that something certainly has to do with them.

"So, how long is the snow supposed to last?" You ask as you sip on some soup, the silence is somehow odd here , it's not like you hadn't experienced the silence much before when you lived with Dream but here it felt unnatural. You'd heard them all talk so much since meeting them.

Scott sighed as he went to speak but he was quickly interrupted by Jimmy "Well it'll definitely be a while, maybe a month or two, it is the begining of winter." He shrugs looking over at Scott as he sips his own cup of coffee.

You sigh looking down at your cup a little worried , what would you do in the meantime? You're already practically freezing with every step you take out of the room you've been allowed. "Is there anyway I could get something heavier to wear? I'm still freezing …"

Jimmy perked up nodding "I'll ask Xornoth what they use to isolate their clothes and I'll make you a couple new pairs!" He seemed very excited with the whole thought "though of course id only do this just for you , Scott's got thick skin from living out here all his life and Xornoth already has insulated clothes, so it really would be just for you!"

#x reader #x child reader #dragon #x dragon reader #dragon reader #minecraft #platonic #empires x child reader #empires x dragon reader

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blossombriefs · 2 months

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Legendary | Chapter Seven

The ship transcended towards the bright green planet of Namek. Broly and I peered out of the ship's viewport to marvel at the serene beauty the planet below had to offer. We spotted fields, lovely small villages and civilisations. We could see Namekian children and adults living in harmony as they frolicked in the fields or tended to their growing crops. We also spotted various training grounds, seeing strong warriors train with weapons and even their brute strength. Broly let out an impressed chuckle, taking in what he could see from above. The ship gradually touched down on some uninhabited grassy plains, I felt a wave of tranquillity sweep over me as I quickly undid my seatbelt. Broly followed my lead and undid his too, both of us heading straight for the door in our casual attire. My mind raced with wonder. The mystery of the distress signal was engulfing my mind. What could the problem be on such a peaceful planet? Who could have summoned us both here?

Broly stayed close to my side as we hopped off the ship together and onto the rich soil, I quickly looked around the terrain and took everything in that I could see. "Three suns. Isn't that different, it must never get dark here Broly."

There was no response to what I had said. I turned around slowly to catch his reaction, feeling a rush at what I could see. I could see Broly breathing heavily, his eyes darting around frantically as he started to back himself towards the ship. I could sense he was uneasy so I rushed to him. He sat back on the grass, looking up at the lime-coloured sky momentarily as I crouched down to his level. "Hey, it's okay! Just a little bit of a culture shock, you'll be fine."

I looked at him reassuringly, catching a glimmer in his eye as I sat my hand on his shoulder. He flinched a little at my touch, seeming a little unsure as I allowed myself to sit down at his side. he hummed to himself, a way to settle his nerves. I whispered to him gently, "I've never been on this planet either,"

I noticed a smile creep across his lips as he looked across at me. A question on his mind, "Do you ever feel like this? When you visit a new planet?"

"Not really," I confessed honestly, keeping my gaze fixed on his. "I don't even think about it. Maybe it's the soldier in me still in there. I can see it's a little too much for you. I promise it'll be okay once we settle your nerves."

"Yeah," he replies with a nod of the head. "I think I was on Vampa from when I was a kid, it's all I can remember. I don't remember what it was like back home. It's hard. I would've stayed on Vampa if you hadn't told me to run."

I nodded with sympathy, understanding how heavy his words were. "I understand. I don't remember anything before the Frieza Force. I'd love to remember where home was. You aren't alone. You have me now Broly, okay?"

I felt his tense shoulders relax under my grip as he took in everything I had said. He smiled a little wider, his face lit up as it graced his features, "Thank you, Flora, I'm thankful I have you."

As we wrapped up our heartfelt moment I remembered the purpose of our appearance on Namek had slipped my mind for just a few moments. I kept my hand on his shoulder, the feeling of familiarity reappeared with him like it did every now and then over the past several days. Every time I looked at him, I was overcome by a feeling I had never felt before. It made me feel uncomfortably warm and fuzzy inside. I... cared about this man? I cared about his feelings. I was putting my own life on the line right now to keep him safe. It was a strange feeling but set out to prove my development.

"Welcome travellers," a deep voice suddenly resonated from behind us. I jumped a little as I was caught off guard, clutching Broly's arm tighter as my head snapped around. My eyes widened as they were set on an incredibly large Namekian figure. His stature towered over Broly and I, his body draped in beautiful traditional fabric. His age was reflected in the wrinkly, wide lines etched across his dark green face. He looked like a leader, based on the congregation of followers that stood behind him with welcoming smiles. This must be the planet's Grand Elder, the highest-serving authority figure the planet has to offer. His voice echoed that of wisdom and leadership. Broly and I leapt to our feet to bow before him as a sign of respect, he wasted no time to introduce himself. "I am Grand Elder Guru, it is an honour to welcome you to our humble planet of Namek."

Broly and I exchanged glances, surprised by the Grand Elder's sudden appearance. We greeted him respectfully as we slowly inclined our heads, "Grand Elder Guru, the pleasure is ours. We received a distress signal on our ship when we were nearby. Could I ask if everything is alright?"

The Grand Elder's expression grew sombre as he regarded us both, "I'm afraid not, young one. The distress signal did originate from me after a meeting with my council. I have foreseen a great danger looming over Namek. Visions of my warriors being easily disposed of, villages being burned, the planet at great risk."

Broly's eyes widened, and his muscles tensed at the mention of danger. He spoke up with concern in his tone, "What kind of danger, Grand Elder?"

"A threat from beyond the stars," The Grand Elder's response was explained gravely. "Dark forces seek to exploit our planet's Dragon Balls for nefarious purposes. I fear an attack is imminent."

I felt a shiver race down my spine as I listened to his words, trying to process the severity of the situation. The Dragon Balls were divine objects that carried an immense power, something of a tempting target for those with evil intentions. I was surprised to hear that they existed and that Namek was their home. I had heard whispers of their existence amongst the soldiers on Frieza's ship. Frieza was one of those who sought after them. Many soldiers discussed double-crossing him, I would never see them again after that. They could grant any wish the user's heart desired. I remember hearing people who dreamt of using them for eternal life, bringing loved ones back from the dead and even the wishes of millions of Zeni, making them rich beyond their wildest dreams. "I thought the Dragon Balls were an old wives tale, just a story?"

He shook his head slowly at my question, "Far from it. There are seven scattered throughout our land. We cannot allow them to fall into the wrong hands."

I nodded reassuringly to myself, a burning determination took over my brain as I started to assess the situation and think it through. There was a moment of silence as I attempted to weigh up the pros and cons. Was this really worth the risk? If Namek's entire army could be wiped out according to the vision we were dealing with an unfathomable enemy. Would we be rewarded for such a job? Before I could utter another word, Broly stepped forward in my place and nodded. "We would be happy to help, Grand Elder. We'll do everything in our power to protect your planet and your people."

The Grand Elder nodded to Broly, turning to face you next. You were touched by Broly's strive to help. "Your resolve is admirable young ones. You will both be welcomed as allies of Namek. Come, we shall provide you with a place to stay while we prepare for the impending threat."

With my newfound sense of purpose, Broly and I followed Grand Elder Guru, knowing that the fate of Namek would rest on our shoulders. We walked alongside each other, I couldn't help but feel grateful that he was the one joining me in this battle that we would come to face. Together, we would tackle whatever evil came our way, and both of us were equally prepared to do whatever it took to protect Namek and its people.

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