#some of those are pathetic (affectionate) other are pathetic (interesting) or pathetic (funny) or even pathetic (derogatory) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kythed · 3 years

Text

“almost funny”

synopsis: suna rintarou thinks you’re out of his league, and you think he’s out of yours.

tagged: general dumbassery, fwb-to-lovers, some profanity, sexual references but nothing explicit.

commitment level: 5.6k words.

It’s almost funny, really. It’s funny how what started out as a purely physical transaction has now transformed into a one way ticket to Simpville with the name Suna Rintarou stamped on it in big red letters. Suna runs a hand through his hair in frustration as he stares down at your sleeping form, curled up in his SF Giants tee that fits you like an oversized nightgown. He loves how you look there, wearing his clothes, bed head resting on his pillows. It’s almost embarrassing how much he loves it. How much he might love you.

He doesn’t really remember when he started seeing you as more than a good fuck. Maybe it was that time you told him he looked pretty with your lipgloss smeared across his mouth.

“That’s a nice shade on you,” you’d laughed as he wiped his lips on the back of his hand. “You should wear it more often.”

Then, before he could respond, you’d yanked him back in by the collar, licking into his mouth, deep and dirty. He shivers now even just thinking about it, recalling the taste of that lipgloss. Strawberry lemonade, the sort that comes in little bottles at the dollar store. However “pretty” he might’ve looked in that moment, he’s sure you looked a hundred times better. You always do, and you don’t even have to try. You’re the prettiest thing he’s ever seen, even in your worst moments.

Or maybe it was the time you remembered his birthday when no one else did. January 25th; all his friends had taken off on their ski trips or tropical vacations, but you showed up to his apartment toting a cupcake and a single candle, belting a loud, out of tune rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’ until he shut you up with an impulsive kiss on the lips. You’d been surprised, but not so surprised you couldn’t kiss him back. Suna’s pretty sure most friends-with-benefits don’t do that sort of thing. They don’t sit across from each other at the kitchen table, splitting a vanilla cupcake and laughing over matching frosting mustaches. They don’t hug each other goodbye after two hours of scrolling through YouTube and nothing else, content to linger in that air of tentative familiarity and pseudo-friendship.

Whatever the reason, whenever it happened, all Suna knows now is you’re more than just a fuck buddy. He doesn’t even want to associate the term with you — it feels disrespectful. He wishes he could just stop pretending. Stop pretending he doesn’t want you to be his.

“Hey.”

Suna grins at your low, throaty morning voice. It’s cute.

“Hey,” he responds, reaching forward to flick your shoulder. “You slept in.”

“Did I?” You blink the sleep from your eyes and squint at Suna’s bedside clock. 9:06. “Oh, shit. Shit, shit, shit.”

You fly out of bed, wiggling into your jeans and tossing your hair into a careless ponytail before frantically scanning the room. “Have you seen my sweater anywhere?”

Suna exhales through his nose before getting up and walking over to his closet. “I hung it up last night so it wouldn’t be wrinkled.”

You freeze in your tracks, slowly turning with a teasing grin plastered on your face. “Oh? How considerate of you.”

Suna shrugs, avoiding your gaze. He feels a flush rise to cheeks and desperately hopes it doesn’t show. “Just being polite.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you had a little crush on me,” you crow before taking the sweater from the hanger and slipping it over your head.

“You wish,” he snorts, but all he can think is you’re absolutely right.

You ignore him and begin shoveling all your things into your purse: a compact mirror, lipstick, house keys. You glance at the clock again. “I’m gonna be so late to this lecture. Damn. Maybe I can text Aiko and ask her to record the first part for me.”

Suna raises an eyebrow. He remembers your friend Aiko from a party last year, before you and he began your… arrangement. She’s outgoing, friendly, and probably the flakiest person he’s ever met. “She’s not gonna do that. Just let me drive.”

“No, it’s fine,” you automatically brush him off, heading into the bathroom to splash your face with lukewarm water. “You probably have your own shit to take care of.”

Yeah, you, he thinks, but instead he says, “Not really. Plus, you’ll probably miss the whole thing if you try to bike to campus. Let me take you in the car. I’ll strap the bike onto the back.”

You give him a look. “Are you sure, Rin?”

“It’s really not a big deal,” he says, throwing on a shirt. “Outside in five, and I’ll have you there by 9:30, easy.”

After a few more weak protestations, you finally agree, and as he drives you to your university, he lets himself pretend you’re his girlfriend sitting there in the passenger seat. He turns on your favorite artist’s Spotify mix on the aux and smiles to himself when you hum along, watching the city fly past out the window. What he wouldn’t give for that reality, one where he can love you without all these restrictions, these tricky boundaries between friends and lovers. When you jump out of the car, calling a cheeky “I’ll text you!” over your shoulder, he pretends it’s an affectionate “I’ll see you for dinner tonight!” instead. He pretends that instead of rushing to get away from him and into the lecture hall, you kiss him on the forehead and squeeze his shoulder, reluctant to leave.

“Fuck me,” Suna says angrily before slamming his palm into the horn, scaring a few freshman walking to class. “And fuck you too!”

He’s not sure who “you” is. Maybe the universe.

No, Suna Rintarou doesn’t know why or how it happened, but he’s in too deep now. And he’s pretty damn sure you’ll never feel the same way.

You slide into your seat beside Aiko just as the guest lecturer pulls up his power point, breathing out a sigh of relief. Aiko shoots you a grin, waggling her eyebrows. Suna? she mouths, and you roll your eyes, nodding nonetheless. Aiko can hardly wait until after the lecture to start pestering you about it.

“So,” she says as you leave the auditorium together. “Did you tell him yet?”

“Tell him what?” You dig in your bag for your water bottle, groaning when you remember leaving it on the edge of Suna’s sink last night.

“Tell him that you’re in loooooove,” Aiko sings, nudging your shoulder.

You scoff. “Okay, first of all, I don’t love him.”

“But you like him,” Aiko persists, and you hold up a finger.

“And second of all, even if I did, I would never tell him.” You yawn, rubbing your eyes before realizing you hadn’t taken your makeup off and thus probably have awful raccoon eye bags. “He’s so out of my league it’s not even funny. It’s kind of pathetic for me to think he’d ever like me back.”

Aiko scoffs. “If anything, you’re out of his league. You could pull any guy you wanted to. And when I say any, I mean any. Like, I bet you could even get Jake Gyllenhaal.”

You laugh. “Why specifically Jake Gyllenhaal?”

Aiko shrugs. “Dunno. Just the first hot guy that came to mind. But forget him. My point is, Suna Rintarou is definitely yours for the taking. All you have to do is —”

“I know, I know,” you interrupt. “All I have to do is confess.”

“Exactly,” says Aiko. Before she can open her mouth again, you cut in.

“Okay, but listen, Aiko,” you say. “Suna’s the kind of guy who doesn’t let himself get attached. He fully admitted to me when we first hooked up that he’d never had a girlfriend. And that’s obviously not from lack of female interest. It’s because he doesn’t want one.”

“Or maybe it’s because he hasn’t found the right person yet.” Aiko starts heading towards the campus coffee shop, and you follow her.

“Sure,” you say, getting in line. The cafe is crowded with students getting in their daily caffeination, inhaling sugary lattes and bitter espressos just to stay awake through their next class. Ah… college. “Or maybe he just. Doesn’t. Want. One.”

Aiko keeps arguing all the way up until you reach the cash register, where you realize you haven’t even decided on what to order yet.

“Hey there,” says the cashier, smiling sunnily. “What can I get for ya?”

You blink. He’s attractive. Very attractive, actually. Bleach blonde, a crooked grin that screams trouble in the best sort of way. Miya, says the little name plate pinned to his shirt. “I, uhh…”

“Take your time,” he says leaning forward like he’s about to tell you a secret. “Between you and me, we have an excellent mocha latte. Not too sweet, y’know?”

You find your manners. “Oh, um, yeah. That sounds great, actually.”

“One mocha latte, then?” he asks, picking up a cup, and you nod. “And to whom do I owe the pleasure of serving today?”

When you tell him your name, he smiles to himself and scrawls it on the cup. “Pretty.”

You flush and pay, hands shaking a little when you slide your card down the side of the machine. The cashier notices and shoots you a knowing look. Five minutes later, when you pick up your drink from the other side of the counter, you see not only your name written on the lid, but a phone number, too, along with a tiny winking face.

“What’d I tell you?” exclaims Aiko shrily when you leave the shop. “Any. Guy. Period.”

You shake your head in exasperation, but you can’t help but throw a final glance over your shoulder, meeting the eyes of the cute cashier one more time. Maybe Aiko does have a point.

That weekend, Suna’s stretched out on his couch, dangling his feet over the armrest and staring up at the ceiling. It’s one of those lazy Saturday afternoons, and usually he’d be enjoying his alone time. Not today, though. Today there’s something — someone — on his mind, and that someone is spelled y-o-u. His phone pings, and he snatches it up with embarrassing speed, groaning when he sees it’s just Atsumu.

“Bastard,” he mutters, not even bothering to open the message. Probably just asking for the O-chem lab answers.

Suna rolls over onto his stomach, pulling up your contact name. What he really wants to do is see you, but how is he supposed to do that without sounding weirdly desperate? Hey, he types out. Wanna come over and watch a movie? He pauses for a moment before adding, Pizza’s on me.

He buries his face in his hands and deletes the text. That makes it sound like he’s asking you out. Well, that’s what he does want to do, but you can’t know that. He’s fairly certain if you knew how he felt about you, you’d freak out. Girls don’t like to be tied down, he reminds himself. Suna groans again, grabbing two fistfuls of hair in irritation.

“Why are women so complicated?” he says aloud, letting the words echo in his empty apartment. He takes a couple seconds to close his eyes, take a deep breath, and unlock his phone again, this time settling on a simple Come over. Short, sweet, and to the point. Well, not exactly. That makes it sound like all he wants to do is sleep together, when he’d really rather just… talk. Spend time with you.

“Oh, God,” he mutters. “I’m so done for.”

It takes what seems like forever for you to arrive, breathless from biking, hair slightly mussed. Suna grins, biting his lip. You’re so beautiful, he thinks, pulling you in for a hungry kiss. Even if all he can get is the sex, then he’s sure as hell going to appreciate it. You smell like lavender laundry detergent, he notices when you press yourself into him, fumbling to close the door behind you without breaking the kiss.

“Well, hello there,” you laugh when he finally breaks away and draws in a shaking breath. “Somebody’s eager.”

Suna rolls his eyes. “As if. You just took so long to get here.”

You cock an eyebrow. “You texted me like half an hour ago.”

“Yeah, and you’re half an hour too late.”

You snort and hurl a pillow from the sofa at him. He catches it and smiles, taking your wrist and drawing you in for another messy, open-mouthed kiss.

“Sorry that I don’t have the power of teleportation,” you quip, laughing when he pulls you into the bedroom. Suna resolves to take his time with you today, undressing you carefully, trailing his lips down your sternum and collarbones, grinning to himself whenever you gasp. He almost catches himself saying “I love you” at one point as you cling to him, mumbling his name, but he placates himself with kissing you extra hard at the end instead, pulling you into his chest and falling back into the pillows.

Usually, you’d take a few minutes to lay in silence, tracing shapes in his skin, and he’d lean back with closed eyes, imagining what it would be like to be loved by you. Slow early morning kisses, skin on skin, whispering and giggling and everything cheesy he used to hate but now wishes he could experience with you. Today, though, you peel yourself off of him and grab your phone as soon as it buzzes, fingers flying in response to whoever had texted you.

“New boy toy?” he jokes, almost choking when you don’t immediately say no. Oh, shit. “You’re kidding.”

“Just a guy I met the other day,” you say casually. Suna stares, slack jawed. “Works at the coffee shop near the quad.”

“Coffee shop?” He furrows his brow. Doesn’t he know someone who works there? He internally scowls, digging into the back of his brain. Aran? Osamu?

“Mm,” you say, suppressing a smile as the nameless suitor sends another text. “His name’s Atsumu Miya.”

Suna’s heart nearly falls right out of his chest and cracks at his feet. “No.”

You look up, raising an eyebrow. “No?”

“Not him,” Suna says, forgetting himself, forgetting the nature of your relationship.

“I didn’t realize you were in charge of who I can and cannot be interested in,” you say bitingly.

Suna sits up. “I’m not. It’s just, Atsumu… he’s not your type.”

“You know him?”

“Yeah,” Suna says, thinking back on his days observing the Miya twins’ antics. “He’s not your kind of guy, trust me.”

“Pray tell then,” you say. Oh, fuck. You’re irritated. “Who exactly is my kind of guy?”

Me, he thinks. I’m your kind of guy. “I don’t know. Just trust me though, okay? Atsumu… he’s difficult.”

“Thanks, Suna,” you say, tone tinged with sarcasm. Suna cringes. You only ever call him by his surname when you’re upset with him. “But I think I can go out with whoever I want to go out with.”

“Fine.” The word tumbles out more harshly than he’d meant it to.

You stare at him in disbelief. “What, are you mad at me or something?”

Suna exhales heavily. “No, I’m not mad. It’s not like we’re dating or anything. I just wanted to give you a little guidance. As your friend.”

“As my friend?” you repeat. “My friend?”

Now it’s Suna's turn to be confused. “Are we not friends?”

“I don’t know, Suna,” you say, swinging your legs over the side of the bed, pulling your clothes on. “You tell me.”

“I’m not sure what you want me to say here,” he says, watching as you struggle to pull your shorts back on. He knows what he wants to say. No, we’re not friends. We should be together. Isn’t it obvious?

You huff, grabbing your bag and the water bottle you’d left behind the other day. “You know, I don’t really know either. Forget I ever said anything. I guess I just thought…”

You trail off and shake your head, heading towards the door. Suna scrambles out of bed to follow you, pulling on his pants as he hops down the hall on one leg. “What’s that?”

“I said forget it,” you call over your shoulder, trying to slam the door, but Suna catches your wrist. As you stare up at him, he thinks he sees your lip quivering, eyes shining with half-formed tears. “Let me go.”

“I’m serious,” Suna says. “What did you think?”

You draw in a deep breath, and for a second, Suna thinks you’re about to say the words he’s always wanted you to say. Then you look away. “Let. Me. Go.”

Slowly, Suna releases you from his grasp, and you stumble backwards, wiping your eyes on your sleeve.

“Don’t call me.”

“Wait, no —”

“Don’t call me, Suna!” you say loudly, before turning on your heel and speed walking down the stairs.

Oh. Oh. Suna stares in shock at the place you were just standing on his doorstep. “Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

When he heads back inside, head empty but for the single thought, I’ve just lost the best thing that ever happened to me, he glances at his phone on the counter. In an instant, he’s opening up his messages, pulling up Atsumu’s.

Met a cute girl LOL. Gonna bring her to that party on Friday.

Then, in a separate bubble — Btw: chem answers?

“And then he called me his friend,” you say angrily, handing Aiko the box of Oreos. The two of you are sprawled on the floor of her dorm room. “Just like we were two bros who got together to play XBox every once in a while, instead of two people who had literally just banged.”

Aiko takes a cookie before handing them back to you. “Asshole.”

“I mean, I know technically we were ‘friends with benefits,’” you say, stuffing an Oreo in your mouth. “But I guess I thought we could be something more. I thought there was no way he could kiss me like that, look at me like that without feeling something. Guess I was wrong.”

“Screw him,” Aiko says. “You’ve got boys lined up around the block, and he thinks he can treat you like rubbish? Absolute bullshit.”

“I don’t have boys ‘lined up around the block,’” you remind her, smiling regardless. “Just one.”

“And that one is hella cute!” Aiko says. “You’re way too cool to pine over some guy who thinks you’ll just answer his every beck and call without even committing to a relationship.”

You sigh. “Yeah, you’re right. It’s just… ack. I don’t know. Am I jumping to conclusions? He seemed like he wanted to talk to me more, but I kind of stormed off without saying anything.”

“Seems like he was pretty clear,” Aiko says with a shrug. “Your call, though. If I were you, I’d forget about him. Plus, you have Atsumu now. That’s a promising route.”

You smile down at the Oreos, thinking about the cheery bottle blonde. “Yeah… he invited me to a party this coming Friday.”

Aiko gives you a look and nudges your knee with her own. “You’d better wear that black dress.”

“You think?” you laugh, momentarily forgetting about Suna.

“Oh, definitely. Gotta look your best on the first date.”

“Right, and then after that I can just dress like a bum,” you joke. You purse your lips. “Rin might be there. Apparently he and Atsumu are pretty close.”

“Even better,” insists Aiko. “Make him suffer a little bit. He won’t like seeing you all dolled up on Atsumu Miya’s arm.”

“I’m not gonna try to make him jealous, Aiko,” you say, and Aiko shakes her head.

“No, I just think he needs to understand what he lost,” she says. “You don’t even have to pay attention to him at all, though. You should try and get to know Atsumu a little better.”

“Yeah, okay,” you say, before reaching down for another cookie. “Oh. We’re out.”

“Gas station run?”

“Gas station run.”

When Friday rolls around, you’ve successfully managed to avoid thinking about Suna the entire day. You have a calculus exam in the morning, and then a club meeting in the afternoon, and by the time you get done with everything it’s already time to get ready to leave for the party. It’s across town at someone’s loft apartment, so Atsumu offers to give you a ride, rolling up in a shiny Lexus, a sharp contrast from Suna’s old Chevy.

“Hey,” he says, getting out to open the door for you. “You look great.”

“You don’t look too bad yourself,” you say. “Although, I might prefer the work uniform.”

“Oh, please,” Atsumu says with a grin. “That apron does nothing to flatter my figure.”

“Mhm.” The ride there is a slightly awkward one, but that’s normal, you tell yourself. You’ve gotten so used to the easy, teasing camaraderie you and Suna have that you’re rusty in regards to flirting. Atsumu has a different sense of humor, too, nothing like the dry sarcasm Suna’s such an expert in. You shake your head. Stop thinking about him.

Even sitting next to a new guy, you can’t help but run last weekend’s drama over in your head. The past few months have been a jumble of mixed signals, and last Saturday was no different. How he tenderly brushed your hair from your face as he hovered over you, how he pulled you into his arms afterwards … how he seemed almost jealous when you mentioned Atsumu. Was it really jealousy? Exactly how much does Suna Rintarou care for you? You roll the numbers inside your head, trying to quantify the soft touches and lingering stares. He’s not easy to read; trying to understand Suna is like trying to decipher Greek without ever taking a single class.

Even trying to get a measure on how much you care for him is difficult. You definitely like him as more than a friend. The only reason you agreed to the whole friends-with-benefits thing in the first place was because of a little crush that grew, that fed on that intimacy… but you’re not so sure now.

“Here we are,” says Atsumu, jolting you from your contemplation as he pulls up alongside the curb. When you climb out of the car, he takes you by the hand, flashing you a quick smile. Your heart trips over itself, and you smile back. “Let’s do this.”

Suna doesn’t show up to the party. He spends most of Friday busying himself at home, paying off a couple electricity bills, cleaning out the fridge. He even does a load of laundry. That’s how bored he is. By the time the clock strikes eight, he feels as though he’s Swiffered every single kitchen tile, folded every shirt, and wiped down every counter in the entire apartment, all to avoid stewing over you and him and all the ways he keeps messing up. But after doing everything on his to-do list and watching a movie and cooking his own dinner (unheard of!) he finds himself pacing around the living room, biting at his nails and thinking about you. More specifically, you and Atsumu. He hopes you’re not wearing that little dress you wore to the club with him a couple months ago. Not that you don’t look great in it — you do, and that’s the issue. The better you look, the more likely Suna will never get a chance to be with you again.

To be fair, he’s not entirely sure how much of a chance he’s ever had with you. You’re incredible, plain and simple. Gorgeous, intelligent, the best player two on every video game he’s ever played with you. You’re not especially adept at the games themselves; no, there’s just something about you. There’s always just been something about you he can’t seem to find anywhere else.

“Damn it,” Suna grunts aloud, flopping down on the couch. It’s nearing half past eleven now. He wonders what you’re doing. Dancing to some shitty music in some crowded living room. Sipping a can of cheap liquor. Letting Atsumu touch your waist, his hand dipping lower and lower until —

Suna buries his face in the couch cushion. He’s usually not one to let his imagination run away with him, but tonight seems to be one of many recent exceptions. If only there was a way to know where he stands with you, or at least where you stand with Atsumu…

Well, there is a way, actually. Almost of its own accord, his hand inches towards his phone, sliding it open and somehow finding its way into his Snapchat. Fingers shaking, Suna clicks on Osamu’s story. It’s dimly lit, a mass of bodies, loud, drunk guys and scantily clad girls. The music is too loud, even through the phone. Suna squints at the screen — there’s Aran, even Kita’s there, quietly sitting in the corner, but no sight of — Suna’s eyes nearly pop out of his head. Because there you are, and you’re not alone. You’re sitting on Atsumu’s lap, but he can’t see your expression because Atsumu is kissing you sloppily, and — oh, God — it looks like you’re kissing him back.

And you’re wearing the fucking dress.

“Damn,” Osamu says in the background. “Looks like he’s getting some tonight.”

Suna throws his phone across the room like it’s a grenade, staring down at his empty hands in disbelief. This can’t be happening. Not to him. Not to you.

For the first time, Suna Rintarou thinks he understands what it really means to want someone. Not in a sexual way, but in the deepest sense of the word. Want. He wants you, and he’s pretty sure he’s never wanted anyone or anything quite so much in his life.

All of a sudden, before his brain even has a chance to catch up, Suna finds himself shrugging on a jacket and snatching his keys from the table, dashing out the door like he’s being chased. If he leaves now, he thinks, starting the car and nearly slamming the door on his foot, he can get to the party before you leave. And then, well, then he’s not quite sure what he’ll do, but he’ll do something.

Again, though, it seems as if the universe might be against him, because there’s an accident on the highway and it takes twice as long to get across town as it should. Suna cusses loudly over the incessant honking and chews on the inside of his cheek until it bleeds. When the traffic lets up and he finally pulls up to the apartment complex, parallel parking in a spot that’s probably illegal, he races up the stairs and into the loft, grabbing the first partygoer he sees. The poor kid’s plastered beyond belief and stares at Suna like he’s an extraterrestrial, eyes glassy.

“You see a girl leave here? ‘Bout this tall, probably left with some douchey looking blonde dude?”

The kid blinks, hard and slow, before nodding. “Yeah, man, you just missed her. That your chick or somethin’? Because she was sucking face with —”

Suna spins on his heel before the kid gets a chance to finish his sentence. He’s lucky Suna doesn’t deck him the head, he’s so irritated.

“Sucking face,” he mumbles, climbing back into the car. He has the route to your house memorized (although he’s not sure how), and he’s pretty sure he breaks about twenty traffic laws trying to get there, so it takes significantly less time to arrive, but to Suna, it feels like an eternity. How did he ever sleep soundly at night knowing other guys had a shot at you before this? He doesn’t know, and he hopes he never has to worry about it again. Not after tonight.

He gets there just as Atsumu’s pulling out of the driveway. Suna flashes him a mental middle finger and resolves to kick his ass later. No time for that right now. You’re still standing on the front porch, and when Suna stumbles out of the car, you turn towards him, mouth agape.

“Rin? What are you—”

“Give me a chance.” He’s breathless, eyes wide and hair whipping around his face in the cool breeze. His heartbeat pounds in his ears like it’s about to burst blood vessels.

“Huh?”

“Give me a chance,” he repeats, reaching forward to take your hand. Your palm is cold against his. “I can do so much better, I promise.”

You furrow your brows. “What in the world are you talking about, Rin?”

The dam breaks. The dam breaks, and everything — the longing, the frustration, everything — comes pouring out in a waterfall of rushing words he doesn’t even have time to think over before they splash at your feet.

“I can do so much better than Atsumu. He doesn’t know you. I know you, and I, well, I’ve liked you since forever, okay? I know your favorite color and your birthday and which Chinese place you like to get takeout from on Saturday nights.” Suna clears his throat. “I know that you like to be hugged from behind and that you hate it when people see you cry. I know so many things about you, and I want to know more.”

“Rin—”

He holds up a hand. “Just listen. I know we’re just fuck buddies, or friends with benefits, or whatever the hell you want to call it, but I want to change that. You mean so much more to me than the sex. God, even if we never slept together again, I would still love you.”

You stare at him. “Love?”

Suna swallows hard. “Yeah, fuck it. Love. I love you. Whatever that means to you, it means to me. I love your stupid jokes and your stupid laugh. To be honest, I’m so in love it feels like I’ll never love anyone else.”

He stops to take a deep breath and a shaky laugh. “Pathetic, right? I know it is. I can’t help it. I’m well aware that Atsumu is way more charming and outgoing, and I was probably wrong when I said he wasn’t your type… but I just need to know if I have even the smallest chance of winning you over.”

There’s a beat of silence. Then another one. You’re gazing at him, head cocked, and the seconds tick by. He still has your hand in his, growing warmer via body heat. Suna feels himself grow increasingly nervous at your expression, curious and almost apathetic — until a wide smile breaks across your face. You laugh, and he thinks it must be the best sound he’s ever heard.

“You weren’t wrong.”

“What?”

“He’s not my type,” you say. “We didn’t click.”

“But — I saw, uh — Osamu’s story,” Suna stammers. “Sucking face.”

“Sucking face?” You squint in confusion before chuckling again. “Ah. Yeah, I kissed him. It was part of some stupid game. He’s kind of bad at it.”

“Atsumu’s a bad kisser?”

“Well,” you say, drawing the word out. “I wouldn’t say bad. It’s just… you’re better.”

Suna’s silent for a second, letting the words ricochet around his brain. He’s better. He’s a better kisser. It was just a game. You’re not into Atsumu. “So… does that mean…?”

“I love you, too.” You smile, and it’s not like your usual cocky grin. It’s sweet and almost… shy.

“You love me, too?” Suna repeats in utter shock. He hadn’t expected to get this far.

“That’s what I just said,” you say. “What are you, a parrot? Speaking of which, though, I think that whole speech was the most I’ve ever heard you talk.”

Suna doesn’t respond. Instead, he takes a step closer and pulls you in for a hug. A real hug, not like the hesitant embrace you’d given him on his birthday, or the side hug he gave you after running into you at the grocery market a few weeks ago. No, this is a true, bona fide hug, and he translates everything he’s ever wanted to tell you but couldn’t into his arms wrapping around your waist.

“So… wanna come in and watch a movie?”

A little while later, Suna’s stretched out on your mattress with you between his legs, chin resting on the top of your head. You’ve changed out of your dress and wiped the makeup from your face, and Suna catches you yawning in the corner of his eye. There’s a trashy romcom droning on your laptop at the foot of the bed. To any outside onlooker, the scene is mundane, just a typical couple enjoying each other’s company. To Suna, though, this is paradise.

It’s almost funny. It’s funny how, a week ago, Suna was a boy pining for a girl he thought he had no chance with. He looked at you and saw something unattainable, someone who would only ever want him temporarily. (And, unbeknownst to him, you felt the same way.) He experienced an overwhelming amount of want, heart knotting in on itself and twisting and turning until it pushed him over the edge, forcing him to confront his own desires. His own inadequacies.

It’s funny how love is what everyone longs for, but it’s also the hardest reward to earn. It’s the most uncomfortable, heart-wrenching, nerve-wracking, anxiety-inducing pathway to happiness Suna’s ever seen. But still… he’d do it all over again if he had to. The months of headaches, the overthinking. It’s worth it. You’re worth it.

Oh, well. What can he say? Suna leans down and presses a featherlight kiss to your temples, and you tilt your head up to smile at him. Love’s a funny thing.

Fortunately, Suna’s always down for a good joke.

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captnjacksparrow · 3 years

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I was wondering, why does Sakura feel the need to plaster the Uchiha symbol all over her clothes and home? Like no other wife in Konoha does it. Not even Sasuke wears it. All we know is that he travels with his sword and the headband Naruto gave back to him. Is it because she sees Sasuke as a trophy and she wants everyone to know she has the big, handsome, and cool husband who showed no interest in anyone

(Except naruto)

Or is it like a reminder to everyone, including her and Sarada, that she’s married to him? I’d figure it be easy to forget since he’s never around. For god's sake, he meets Naruto in the woods and the office but didn’t’ come home to His wife and kids. He even has the transportation Jutsu and still didn’t use it. And a lot of people say it takes up too much chakra. But he uses it like 50 different times in fights. I’m sure once or twice wouldn’t hurt him. He didn’t even send messages via hawk. But anyway I’m rambling, what’s your take on the whole clan symbol thing?

I see her pathetic act of plastering Uchiha Clan symbol all over her clothes and house for two reasons.

NO ATTENTION

Sakura is that kind of a girl who would bring a Rich and hottest of the hot guy with oozing sexuality..[[In short, Christian Grey]]... to the New Year party and show off how handsome of a man she picked up, how he would bring down the world under her footsteps and how he would make other girls jealous by openly smooching her in front of everyone and how he would marry her like a charming prince in a dream-like wedding.

Or atleast that's the kind of life she expected if she married Sasuke. That she could proudly sing songs about her beloved 'Sasuke-Kun' who is from a prestigious Uchiha Clan with her peers and how she was being treated as a princess.

The feeling that she swayed the 'Most Handsome' man in Konoha and is currently at her fingertips and can make her peers jealous.

But it seems.... her poor Sasuke-kun couldn't give any of those things she desired. He never prioritized her, he never showed any display of Affection towards her or he never even tried to spend some lone time with her or walk with her, married her in some ditch, she was seen dusting shelves for a husband who would never come home.... Fuck, he don't even call her name in an affectionate way...

It’s funny looking at the details of this picture. Her stans are claiming that Sakura works in a Hospital and helps Ino and all other bullshit... But from this picture, all I can see is...

1. What the fuck is she doing at home when her daughter comes back from the school, And wearing an Apron, no less.. ??? Isn’t she supposed to be at hospital???

2. They say she is the Konoha’s best doctor or whatever shit. Why the fuck she is growing Nails which looks manicured, no less??? Doctors are supposed to not grow their nails, isn’t it??? Why is this asshole still growing nails??? Tsunade was never seen to have any Nails on her finger...

And this is when Tsunade almost gave up her Medical Job and was seen Gambling around in Part 1. She still didn’t have any nails.

So, basically she got nothing out of this marriage except for a Karin look-alike Baby that was born in an Orochimaru Hideout, no less.

How could she make up for all this shortcomings??? How could she make her peers jealous??? How could she explain the lack of Grand Wedding???

Yeah, by plastering Uchiha symbol all over her house. "Yaay!!! I got the Most Handsome Uchiha's Dick and now I'm his wife now... Am not from that lowly Haruno clan anymore.... I am definitely an Uchiha ..... I am abso-fucking-lutely an Uchiha.... Even though my ancestor Senju Hashirama married a woman from another powerful clan... She never took the Senju name.... She remained Uzumaki Mito... But I am not like her. I am the Wife of a fucking Uchiha"

The more she is not getting the attention from Sasuke, the more desperately she wants to prove everyone!!!

Remember the War Arc???? Didn’t she behave like a horny dog on heat to get Sasuke’s attention???

That’s because she desperately needs his attention. She gets more rabid, the more Sasuke ignores her. That’s why she plasters that Uchiha Clan Symbol.

NOT GROWING UP

She is the only person in Konoha who never grew up.... Her peers like Ino, Temari and Fuck, even that Hinata grew up. None of her agemates are behaving like a fangirl before their Husbands. Not even Hinata...

By Chapter 699, Sakura went back to her horny 12 year old self by rabidly wanting to get under Sasuke’s pants.... Where was her development??? Did she ever cared about that Village??? Her fans are claiming that she is some fucking great Medical Ninja.... Why can’t she stay and help the Villagers who just came from the war????

“Aahhh!!! No..... I don’t care about anyone... All I need is to quench my rabid desire to get the dick of my Sasuke-kun....”. This is her motto to live. My hunch is that Tsunade and Shizune must be really disappointed with such a nuisance for she never used her skill for the other people... Instead ended up dusting her home and cleaning clothes.

All her agemates grew up.... Look at Ino.... She is deriding Sakura here....

But look at Sakura.... She is a blushing mess.... Even at age 32????

Look at what Ino says here, “I wouldn’t stand for a husband who’s almost never home..... I could never do it”.... She is clearly mocking her for being A Girl in Love..

This proves, Ino became a practical woman, understands life and has some realistic expectations from her partner... She is no more of a fangirl anymore. She moved on from that phase long back. But Sakura still remains that pathetic horny asshole who waits for her master and wags her tail in his presence.

The Anime went under such a pain to remove this scene entirely and want to show her as less pathetic as possible...

Well, Ino lost her father in the war and took over her Father’s position in Konoha Intellect Unit successfully... You know, Right after that flower ship scene, Jigen comes to Konoha... Immediately Ino sensed the danger and went back to “I am back bitch” mode and informed Naruto about the impending threat.....

But look at Sakura.... She was just standing there like an useless doll.

To this day, Sakura still believes that she got the ‘Greatest Trophy’ and she thinks she can proudly make her peers jealous... but she never realized that they all grew up emotionally and were not interested in her ‘Sasuke-kun’ anymore, they all have an healthy relationship with their husbands and have lovely kids to take care of. Even if she talks about him, they would mock her just like Ino. But Sakura never grew up emotionally to realize these things....

That’s why she still plasters that clan symbol everywhere in the hopes that someone will notice it and ask, “So, you are Uchiha Sasuke’s wife, huh?”... Isn’t it pathetic to see her wanting to be as Uchiha Sasuke’s wife rather than Haruno Sakura, the Top Medical Ninja????

#anti sakura #antisakura #ino

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charmedbaek · 4 years

Text

loyal - bbh - part 1

summary: a year ago, you landed your dream job and made your move to the city. not knowing anyone, you moved into the spare room of coworker’s beautiful apartment, and quickly became close friends. her loyal social circle quickly adopted you as one of their own, giving you some of the best friends you’ve ever known. you have it all. there’s only one problem: Byun Baekhyun. not only your friend via your roommate, but her longtime crush. completely off-limits to you, as she’s made it very clear. but when love interferes with the life you worked so hard to build, who do you stay loyal to?

genre: smut, angst, fluff, MATURE/NSFW lmao

warnings: explicit sexual content, swearing, alcohol use

words: 10.3k (she’s long i’m not sorry)

author’s note(s): she’s finally here!! i’m so excited for you guys to finally read this, i’ve been going CRAZY ever since i posted the preview and got so much positive support, so thank you all!! feedback is much appreciated so please let me know what you think. and be sure to let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list for part 2. i’m planning on making the series somewhere around 10 parts so i hope you all are excited for shit to go down :)

tag list: @baek-byunies @baekhugme @falsemagic @fullsuninbloom @gyuniiverse @jummyjammy @kylomeyon @lightmochi @littleflowercrown13 @making-me-blush @marks-aurora @myexolib @smile2sushii4me@stormymoonlight @yixing-jaebeom

“This is just pathetic.”

You looked up from browsing Twitter on your phone to see your roommate, Minji, staring at you disapprovingly from your doorway.

“What?” You asked innocently, setting your phone down beside your pillow and sitting up inside the fort of pillows you had created on your bed.

Minji sighed, entering the room and sitting at the edge of the bed next to you. “It’s Friday night. Are you really just going to lay here doing...” She waved her hand, gesturing towards your comfortable attire of an oversized hoodie and gym shorts. “...this? Again?”

You looked at her and scoffed. “What do you mean this? I’m fine. I’m comfortable.” You said, reaching over her lap to grab the bag of pretzels that seemed to live on your nightstand these days. Minji snatched the bag before you could get to it, tossing it to the floor with a groan. “I’d say you’re a little too comfortable,” She said, poking your bare thigh. “How long has it been since you came out with us? A month? Two? I don’t even know. The rest of the guys keep asking me where you’ve been, and I have to tell them you fell asleep on the couch after one glass of wine after work.”

“Shut up!” You exclaimed, grabbing one of your many pillows and smacking her with it playfully. She wasn’t wrong though. You’d had your job as an assistant editor for just over a year now, and it was draining. The assistant part of the title didn’t mean you were just grabbing coffee for the bosses, but rather doing all of the work that the senior editors at the magazine didn’t feel like doing. It was a lot of stress, and lately you hadn’t felt like doing much on the weekends besides sleeping until noon and taking a midday nap.

And it was true, you hadn’t seen much of your friends recently. Well, technically they were Minji’s friends, but after a year you were finally comfortable referring to them as yours. You missed them a lot. But you felt too tired to be any fun.

You fell back against the pillows. “I’m just relaxing. I had a tough week.”

Minji raised her eyebrows at you. “Need a stress reliever?” She asked suggestively.

“Minji, before you even-”

“Come on!” She whined. “Just fuck him! Please! I know for a fact he likes you.”

The he in question was Minji’s friend Jongin. Yes, he was your friend too. Although it was evident to you, and everyone else, that he’d like to be more than that. His gentleman-like behavior towards you was a bit over the top, never letting you open your own door or pay for your own drink. The way he gently placed his hand on the small of your back while letting you walk in front of him was cordial, but it didn’t make you feel butterflies. The way he placed his hand on your knee, and never any higher, when you sat beside him was affectionate, but it didn’t get you... well, wet.

Sure, he was sexy. And kind. And tall. And honestly, drop-dead gorgeous. But that was the thing. He was too perfect. In the year you’d known him, you found it difficult to find a single area he was deficient in. It was unnerving. You just couldn’t bring yourself to want him like that.

Were you leading him on? You didn’t think so. But you were never one to pass on a free drink.

It would be a lie, however to say you’d never had a one-off fantasy about Jongin. After all, he was incredibly hot. You almost hoped he would just try his luck and kiss you one of these days, but his courteous demeanor would never allow him to be so bold with a woman.

And though nothing close to fucking had ever happened between you two, the rest of your friend group seemed to assume you were meant to be together.

The group consisted of five before you came along. They had all known each other since high school, so it seemed like fate when you arrived, making an even group of three guys and three girls. They had laughed about how they were finally like Friends the TV show, all paired off into even male-female pairings.

The most solid couple was Chanyeol and his girlfriend Soonja. They had been high school sweethearts, and were very affectionate towards each other. Like, very affectionate. Always all over each other, even after ten years of being together. It was kind of gross at first. But you got used to it.

Next, was Jongin. He occasionally brought a random, boring girl to your hangouts, but things never lasted. And everyone seemed to have it in their minds that the two of you would make the perfect couple. In their minds, you were already together, making another seemingly perfect dyad to fit in with them.

Lastly, there was your roommate Minji. You had met at your job and quickly became close with one another. She was the one to indoctrinate you into the group, and for that you were eternally grateful. You had moved to the city alone with nothing besides your belongings for your job, and she had taken you under her wing.

Her pairing was the most interesting. Though she was technically single, there was-

“Baekhyun!”

Yeah, Baekhyun.

“Baekhyun!” Minji shouted again. “Come in here!”

You heard Baekhyun sigh from where he sat on the couch in your living room, slowly making his way to where Minji and you sat in your bedroom.

“What do you want?” He asked, peeking his head through the entrance.

Minji stood with a huff, walking to the door to grab Baekhyun’s wrist and pull him into the room. “Tell Y/N that she should just fuck Jongin. We all know it’s gonna happen eventually.” She said.

“Oh no,” Baekhyun said with a chuckle, shaking his head. “I’m not getting involved in this.”

“Please!” Minji exclaimed. “She said she’s stressed from work. I told her fucking him will get her mind off of it.”

“How? By dry humping on his bed? Him feeling her boobs over the bra?” Baekhyun made himself laugh. “How about when he asks ‘Is that okay?’ before doing literally anything?” Baekhyun was laughing hard now, wiping a tear from his eyes. “No, I don’t think that’ll solve anything.”

You laughed with him at the thought. Jongin was overly polite. Any sex fantasy you’d ever had about him was always ruined by thoughts similar to those Baekhyun had described.

Minji was not as impressed. “You’re no help!” She shouted at him, shoving him back outside the room and slamming the door. She returned to your bedside with a sigh. “Please just consider getting laid, Y/N.”

“Hm...” You thought out loud, tapping a finger on your chin. “Baekhyun’s pretty funny. Maybe I’ll just sleep with him.”

“Ha!” Minji squawked as she slapped you on the arm. Hard. “You wouldn’t dare.” She said with a glare, only half joking.

And that was the final pairing. Minji and Baekhyun. No, they were not together. They never had been. Minji had had a crush on him since college, when she said he “got sexy”. They were close friends, and she was pretty much in love with him.

Whatever you wanted to call their relationship, Minji was overly protective of it. The very first time you had hung out with the group, she pulled you aside to explain to you that no, they were not dating yet, but he was hers. She joked that she would kill you if you touched him.

And if she hadn’t warned you, you might have tried. Baekhyun was extremely sexy. When you met him, his hair was the white-blonde that you loved the most on him. You were intoxicated by your first thoughts of him, that his plump lips would be incredible to kiss. That his long, slender fingers would feel amazing inside of you...

But it wasn’t just that. He had a bright smile that always lit up any room, and a fun, chaotic energy that could always make you laugh. You were smitten by him. Plus, the two of you had always had a great time together. You’d pretty much hit it off right away as friends, constantly texting about work, complaining about how annoying Chanyeol and Soonja were.

It wasn’t uncommon for the two of you to hang out alone, either. You both loved art, and he’d taken you to a few gallery openings that he organized for his job. You often dragged him to the theatre to see foreign films that would bore the rest of your friends to sleep. Whenever you wanted opinions on your projects for work, Baekhyun would meet you at your favorite coffee shop to help. Out of any of your friends, even Minji, he was the one who was always there for you.

But whatever your outings with Baekhyun were, they were not dates.

No, that would never be allowed.

It had been a year since Minji’s initial warning, which you had respected completely despite your attraction. From her description at the time, you had assumed they’d get together at some point, but it hadn’t happened. And you were pretty sure it wasn’t going to, so you didn’t feel bad hanging out with him.

That was, until a few weeks ago when Minji made you make a promise to her. She begged you to give her more alone time with Baekhyun. She asked you to stay in your room whenever he came over, worried that you might be scaring him from making a move on her. She asked you to stop spending so much time with him alone, because it was distracting him from the time she thought he owed her.

Sure, your feelings were hurt. But Minji was the reason you had these incredible friends and this beautiful apartment, so you didn’t argue. You were loyal to her. Even if you were sure she was imagining her entire relationship with Baekhyun.

But your perception of their relationship and your initial feelings towards Baekhyun didn’t matter. She was his. That was that.

You smiled through your teeth at Minji. “I would never. You know that.”

“I know,” She smiled back, patting you on the shoulder. “But I am being serious. You’ll feel better if you have sex.”

You sighed. “I don’t know. I’m not in the mood for being disappointed.”

“Trust me, I get it.” Minji giggled. “At least come out with us tonight? Please?” Minji pleaded, sticking out her bottom lip in a pout.

You let out a final sigh as you gave in. “Fine. Sure. Okay.”

“Awesome!” Minji cheered. “I’ll pick something out for you to wear. Be ready to go in thirty.”

You exited your room wearing the dress Minji had picked for you, heels in hand as you shut the door behind you. With a huff, you sat yourself down on the couch next to Baekhyun to strap the shoes on.

He looked up at you from his phone and stared. “What are you wearing?” He asked as he set his phone down on the coffee table.

“What are you, my dad?” You scoffed, looking up at him from your shoes.

Baekhyun chuckled. “No, no, I’m serious. Is that, like... lingerie?” He asked carefully, eyeing your figure while clearly trying not to stare too long at any one spot.

“The dress?” You asked, looking down at Minji’s selection. It was a black slip dress, short and decently low-cut, trimmed with lace. “It’s just a dress,” You shrugged. “Though I’m sure it’s some part of Minji’s plan for me to go home with someone.”

Baekhyun laughed again, turning his attention toward his phone. “Well, it just might work.”

“Yeah, I’m sure Jongin will love it.” You mumbled as you finished buckling the strap on your heel.

Before you could lament on that inevitable situation any longer, Minji burst through her bedroom door. “I’m here, I’m here. Let’s go.”

“I got us an Uber,” Baekhyun said as he stood from the couch. He turned to offer you a hand, which you accepted as you stood up on your wobbly heels. Minji was right, it had been a while since you’d been out, and your feet weren’t used to this abuse.

“You alright? Drunk already?” Baekhyun asked with a raised eyebrow as you stumbled a bit.

You squeezed the hand he had offered as you caught your balance. “Not yet, hopefully soon.” You laughed, not looking forward to the way your feet would feel at the end of the night.

“Come on, Baek.” Minji chirped as she grabbed him by the arm, pulling him towards the door and his hand out of your grip. She opened the door, leading him out and into the hallway of your apartment building.

They continued down the hallway, her hand still latched onto his forearm. You sighed as you followed them through the doorway, fishing in your purse for your keys. Stopping to turn your key in the lock, you watched the pair turn the corner towards the elevators, catching a glimpse of Baekhyun looking back at you. You sighed. It wasn’t completely unlike Minji to disregard your existence when she was with Baekhyun. It was understandable, given her situation, but it was still annoying.

You rushed to catch the elevator with them, wincing as your heels pinched your toes with every step. You slipped in just before the doors closed, catching your breath as you clutched the railing. Minji and Baekhyun barely seemed to notice your struggle, as she was still clinging onto him and had begun explaining her latest business card design in lengthy detail.

You reached the ground floor and exited outside, finding your Uber on the crowded city street. Graciously, you got into the front passenger seat, allowing Minji and Baekhyun to be together in the back. You figured this was probably one of the times she would want you to give them space, to do whatever the fuck it was she thought they did.

You and the driver rode in silence, while Minji continued to chime about design and color theory to a quiet Baekhyun. In the rearview mirror, you watched her leaning on his shoulder and running a finger through his dark, wavy hair.

You glowered into the mirror as you stared at her fingers twirling his locks. It made your blood boil. You shifted in your seat to see a different angle from the mirror, only to lock eyes with Baekhyun.

You quickly looked away, embarrassed, choosing to stare out of the window for the duration of your ride.

When you arrived at the bar, you quickly exited the vehicle and rushed towards the building, not waiting for your friends in the car. You pushed open the front doors and looked for your friends. Quickly, you spotted Chanyeol towering over Soonja in the corner booth with his arm around her. You huffed as you sat, muttering a quick hello and sliding in next to Chanyeol.

He eyed you as he took a sip of his drink. "Did you come by yourself?” He asked as he set his glass down.

“No, Minji and Baekhyun should be walking in.” You answered under your breath, staring aimlessly at the crowd of twenty-somethings mingling loudly around you.

Soonja looked at you with concern. “What’s wrong?” She asked, reaching over Chanyeol to rest a hand on your shoulder. You shrugged in response, but she pressed. “Seriously, Y/N, what is it?”

You sighed. “They’re just being annoying. Minji can’t keep her hands off of Baekhyun, and they ignored me the whole way here, and it’s just...” You trailed off.

“Does that bother you?” Chanyeol asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

You snapped to look at him. “No. I just don’t like being treated like I’m invisible.”

Before Chanyeol could ask any more questions, Jongin walked over from the bar, a drink in each hand. With a smile, he set one down in front you and slid into the booth beside you. “Gin and tonic with two limes, right?”

You gave him a small smile. “Yeah, thanks.”

He smiled brighter. “No problem.” As he put his arm around your shoulders, Minji and Baekhyun finally made their way over. Minji looked at you as she sat. “Why’d you run ahead?” She asked, clearly a little annoyed.

You raised your glass from the table. “Thirsty.” You said dryly, bringing your drink to your mouth and taking a large sip. You could tell you were going to need a few more gin and tonics to make it through the evening.

From that point, things proceeded as your nights out normally did. Soonja found her way onto Chanyeol’s lap, her lips close to his ear. The two didn’t pay much attention to anyone else, as per usual. Baekhyun made a few trips to the bar to order a drink, Minji following him each time. You chuckled each time Baekhyun returned to the booth with one drink, leaving Minji alone up there to buy her own. You chatted politely with Jongin about work, not paying much attention since you were busy watching Minji make a fool of herself.

A while passed as a few more drinks passed your lips, and you found your eyelids getting heavier and heavier as you leaned further and further into Jongin’s side. He was warm, but then again so were you from the amount of alcohol you had consumed.

“Want another?” Jongin asked, already getting up to go back to the bar.

You laughed a little. “Jongin, you know I can buy my own drinks, right? I have a job. It’s all I talk about, actually.”

He shrugged, not too concerned with your response. “Yeah, I know. I’m just trying to...”

“I know, I know, trying to be nice.” You rolled your eyes and gave him another small smile. “Let me get my own for once, please.”

Leaning forward to hop over Jongin and out of the booth, you noticed Baekhyun at the bar alone waiting for a bartender. Minji was nowhere in sight, and you took the opportunity to join him. She wasn’t there to stop you, and what harm could it do to just chat with him?

Shoving aside the drunken college students to his right, you rested your elbows on the bar and looked up at Baekhyun. “Hey, Baek.”

He turned to face you, flashing you his signature bright smile. God, you loved his smile. Especially when you were drunk. “Hey, what’s up?”

Your smile grew as you stared at him, leaning further onto the bar. “Drunk. Getting drunk.” You slurred, peering up at him through your eyelashes.

“Oh, yeah?” He laughed, putting a hand on your shoulder to keep you from completely falling flat onto the sticky wooden surface. “What are you drinking?”

“Please don’t,” You whined. “I just gave Jongin a speech about how I can buy my own drinks.”

Baekhyun shrugged and let out another laugh. “Suit yourself.” He said as the bartender delivered his drink. He grabbed it and took a sip of the dark liquid, tilting his head back to reveal his neck as he drank. You stared a bit longer than necessary.

His neck was just so... pretty. You suddenly found yourself wondering what it would be like to leave a mark on it.

But before you could fantasize any further, he brought his drink down and turned away, heading back for the bar. You sank further onto your elbows and let out a long sigh, ordering another gin and tonic. Somehow, you felt like Minji could sense your dirty thoughts about Baekhyun. You felt guilty. You respected her wishes, but sometimes you just couldn’t help thinking about him, especially when he looked like... that. His white t-shirt and oversized denim jacket hanging effortlessly over his lean frame. The way his recently-dyed dark hair fell over his forehead in soft waves. It was a lot for your drunk self to take in.

Vowing to stop your thoughts before Minji read your mind, you suddenly felt a hand on the center of your back, just where the lace of your dress met your skin. You turned, ready to tell Jongin once again that you were capable of paying for one drink, but you were met by Baekhyun’s wide brown eyes.

“Can I ask you something?” He asked, scanning your face with a bit of concern.

He seemed nervous, and it put you on edge. “Yeah, of course.” You replied a bit shakily.

Baekhyun suddenly leaned in close to you, his lips nearly touching your ears. You knew it was just so you could hear him over the noisy bar-goers and blaring music, but him being this close to you made your heart race.

“Do you... like me?” He asked softly before leaning back to search your face for an answer.

You gulped, feeling like you’d been caught, like he’d heard your thoughts about him moments ago.

He shook his head before you could answer, letting out a weak laugh. “No, I mean, like... we’re friends, right? You think I’m a good friend?”

You sighed a little in relief, taking a sip of your drink that had just been delivered. “Of course, Baekhyun, yeah. You’ve been a great friend.”

“Okay good.” He smiled. “Because I just felt like... I don’t know. Like you were avoiding me or something. When you ran out of the car. I feel like I never get to see you anymore.” He finished, his smile fading a bit as he finished his explanation. “I miss hanging out with you.”

You bit your lip, not wanting to reveal the promise you had made to Minji, or the fact that her being all over him had irked you earlier. “Baek, I swear I’m not avoiding you. It’s just, you know... Minji-”

“Hey!”

As if your words summoned her, Minji poked her head between you and Baekhyun, ending your conversation as she grabbed his bicep. “Can we dance Baekhyun? You promised me we’d dance.”

It wasn’t much of a question, as she was already pulling him away from the bar. Baekhyun gave you a sad smile as he was dragged away, and you sighed for about the thousandth time that evening. You watched Minji turn so her back was pressed against him, grinding a bit sloppily onto him. Baekhyun seemed apathetic, more focused on taking another sip of his drink than on Minji’s hands on him.

You lifted your drink once more, downing it before slamming it back onto the wood, having seen enough. You walked past your booth, ignoring Jongin’s expectant stare, and headed towards the bathrooms in a dark corner towards the back of the bar. Pushing past a few younger couples making out next to the door, you entered and leaned heavily on a sink.

You looked up to inspect yourself in the mirror. You could tell you were drunk by the way you swayed back and forth as you tried to focus. Your hair was a bit disheveled from resting your head on Jongin’s shoulder all night. Not being bothered to fix it, you wiped at the small amount of mascara that had rubbed off under your eyes.

Maybe Minji was right, you thought to yourself. Maybe you should just give in and fuck Jongin. You knew he’d agree if you went back out there and asked him to come home with you, especially given your sexy, unkempt state. Even if it wasn’t the best fuck of your life, it would probably help distract you from your outlawed thoughts about Baekhyun. You decided to consider that option after one more drink.

Giving your messed up hair one more quick tousle, you turned to go back to the booth. But when you opened the door, you were met by Baekhyun’s intense stare.

“Baek-”

Before you could finish the word, Baekhyun was grabbing your wrist and pulling you towards a nearby empty corner.

“What the fuck are you doing?” You whispered harshly, wriggling the hand still in his grip. “That hurts.”

Baekhyun quickly let go and shoved his hands in his jacket pockets. “I’m sorry,” he said as he shook his head, looking up from his feet to meet your gaze. “I just wanted you to finish what you were saying before. About Minji.”

“Baekhyun...” You rolled your eyes. “Don’t make me say it.”

“Say what?” He asked, though from the look on his face he appeared to know what was coming.

You peered over his shoulder to look for any of your friends watching, but the entire booth was blocked from your view by another wall. You spoke once you were sure they couldn’t see you. “Minji likes you. A lot. Sometimes I think it’s better if I just stay out of her way.”

“You think that?” He raised an eyebrow and leaned in closer. “Or she thinks that?”

“I...” You pulled your bottom lip into your mouth, considering your words carefully. “Sometimes it’s easier to just do what she wants, right? I mean, you do it too. She can be kind of controlling, especially when it comes to you.”

Baekhyun scoffed, taking a step back and removing his hands from his pockets. “You think I do whatever Minji wants?” He asked bitterly.

“Not everything, but I mean-”

Baekhyun’s lips were pressed against yours before you could finish your sentence. The kiss was forceful, his eyes closing as he took your cheek into his hand.

Your mind was racing. You knew you were kissing him back, feeling your own lips moving gently against his, but it didn’t feel real. You were floating, the alcohol in your veins simultaneously lifting you off the ground and pulling you towards the floor.

He pulled back slightly, his hand still resting on your face. You were both breathing deeply, clearly out of breath from the moment. His lips were nearly still on yours when he asked, “Do you think she would have wanted me to do that?”

“No.” You laughed breathlessly into his mouth, looking up to meet his eyes.

He was looking at you intensely, his brown eyes sparkling in the neon bar lights. “Because I wanted to. And I’ve wanted to for a long time.” He said as he rubbed his thumb against the apple of your cheek. “What about you? Did you want to?”

“Yes.” You said softly, not being capable of much more than one word answers at the moment.

Baekhyun smiled. “Good. Then let’s do what we want.”

And with that, his lips were back on yours, just as intense as the first time. And this time, you were sure you were kissing back, and with just as much force as he was.

Feeling Baekhyun’s tongue press against your lips, you parted your mouth to grant him access inside. The kiss deepened, and you felt your arms reach up to rest on his shoulders, your hands threading themselves through his soft hair, your nails dragging lightly against his scalp. The action earned a moan from Baekhyun, and he used his entire body to press you against the wall, his hands pressing flat against it on either side of your head. You whimpered, feeling his hips grinding into yours.

Kissing Baekhyun was just as intoxicating as you had imagined it would be, his lips just as soft as in the dreams you hoped Minji never found out about. He was taking you without asking for permission, because he knew you wanted him, too. And you didn’t need anyone else’s permission.

Except, maybe you did.

“Wait!” You broke the kiss to exclaim. You pulled back sharply, smacking your skull against the exposed brick. “Ow.” You reached up to rub the back of your head.

“You okay?” Baekhyun chuckled, replacing your hand with his as a rubbed slow circles on your minor injury. The feeling sent chills straight through you.

“Baekhyun...” You trailed off softly. “You know we can’t. It’s not right.”

“Says who? Minji?” Baekhyun questioned.

“Well, yeah.” You answered.

Suddenly, Baekhyun pulled his hand away from your head and took a step back, exhaling deeply. “God, I am so sick of her controlling everything I do. She thinks she owns me.” He said, beginning to raise his voice. “Everywhere I go she needs to know. Anyone I hang out with she needs to check out. Do you know how hard it is to meet girls, let alone have sex when I have Minji up my ass like that?”

You sighed. “She just really likes you, Baek. She’s being overprotective.”

“Yeah, and it’s ruining my life.” Baekhyun put his fingers to his temples and closed his eyes. “Do you know how long I’ve wanted to kiss you, Y/N?”

You shook your head. You honestly had no idea he wanted to kiss you outside of your dreams.

Baekhyun laughed dryly. “A long time. Basically since we met. But Minji made it seem-”

“Seem like what?” You interrupted.

He opened his eyes to look at you again, sighing. “She made it seem like you didn’t want me around lately. Said you’d rather hang out alone in your room than come talk to me. I even tried to tell her one time that I thought you were hot, and she completely shut me down, saying you’d never be interested in me, saying that Jongin would kill me if I tried anything with you.”

You stared up at him, bewildered. “She said all that?” You asked softly, voice laced with disbelief. Baekhyun nodded.

“No, none of that is true,” You clenched your fists, the anger running through your veins boiling. “She told me the first time I met you to stay away from you, because you were hers. And I wanted to respect that.”

You took a deep breath and continued. “But you and I are friends, too. And I like spending time with you. But lately, she asked me to give you guys time alone, which I tried to do.” You felt tears stinging in your eyes at Minji’s betrayal. “It makes sense, I mean, to try to keep me out of the way after you told her that.”

You waited for a long pause before you started again. “Look, I like you. Like, really like you. And I always have. But Minji-”

Baekhyun didn’t let you finish, returning his plump lips to yours to sweep them up in another kiss. This one was softer, more gentle, and he moved his lips across your cheek and against your ear. “I don’t want to talk about her anymore.” He whispered, lips brushing against your skin. “She doesn’t matter. We can just focus on us now. Okay?”

“Yes,” You breathed out softly. “I want to.”

Baekhyun smiled against you. “Good. Because I’ve been waiting for a long time to do this.”

He kissed his way downwards from your ear as you lifted your arms to wrap around his back. Gripping onto the denim of his jacket, you let out a small moan as he pressed his teeth into the delicate skin just below your jaw. And again, when he bit into the soft skin at the base of your neck.

Tilting your head forward to rest in the crook of his neck, you used your leverage on his back to pull his hips to meet yours once again. This time, it was you who grinded up into him, feeling the prominent bulge against you growing through the fabric.

“Shit,” Baekhyun whispered into your neck. “How are you so hot?”

You giggled, continuing the action as Baekhyun’s hands drifted downwards, exploring your curves through the silk of your black dress. They finally reached the bottom, and he rubbed his thumbs where the lace trim met the skin of your thigh. You sighed deeply at the repetitive action, as Baekhyun pulled his head away from your neck. He slipped his hand underneath the lace and lifted, looking to your face for a reaction.

All you could do was lean your head back against the bricks, anticipating the pleasure that was coming.

And Baekhyun didn’t disappoint. He slowly dragged his fingers from the spot on your thigh to where your lace underwear rested on your hip bone. Sneaking his fingers under the fabric, he pulled it back and released, letting it snap back against your skin. You moaned at the sensation. “You like that?” Baekhyun hummed into your ear. You nodded, feeling the wetness at your core getting more intense. “Kinda kinky,” He hummed to you again.

You giggled softly. “Trust me, that’s just the beginning.” You whispered back.

Baekhyun’s eyebrows raised, his eyes wide as he looked back at you. “I’ll remember that for later.” He said darkly, turning his attention back to his fingers. He traced the bottom lining of the fabric, slowly going from your hip right to your center. You hummed at the feeling of his fingers so close to your most sensitive area, as he drew small circles with his fingertips over the fabric.

“You want me to touch you?” He asked, voice dripping with his sinful intentions.

You nodded as you hummed again, bucking your hips slightly into his touch.

“Then I want you to say it.”

Your eyes widened as his words sent another wave of arousal straight to your core.

You took a shaky breath. “I want you to touch me, Baekhyun.”

You’d barely finished the last syllable of his name when he slipped his fingers underneath the fabric, pushing it to the side. He cupped your entire heat in his palm, the hard flat of his hand pushing against your clit. “Already so wet,” He whispered before placing a soft kiss on your cheek. You groaned, pressing into his hand to increase the pressure.

He slowly curled and uncurled his fingers, running them softly back and forth over your wet, sensitive skin. You gasped when you felt the tip of his middle finger nudge against your folds.

“Baekhyun.” You sighed, reaching down to grab his forearm.

He looked up at you with concern. “Everything okay?”

You nodded. “More than. But we probably shouldn’t do this here.” You looked around, noticing the thinning crowd of the bar that left you more exposed than when you began.

“Okay,” He said, removing his hand from under your dress. “Let’s go, then.”

“Wait, wait!” You whispered, grabbing his elbow as he turned to go. “We can’t leave together. Because of... you know. Her.”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes. “Fine, you’re right. I’ll leave first. I’ll wait for you at the end of the block on the right.”

You nodded, and he gave you a soft kiss on the tip of your nose before turning to return to the booth of your friends.

Standing at the edge of the wall, you listened in when he said he was taking off.

“But Baek,” You heard Minji pout. “You came here with me, you can’t just leave without me.”

You heard Baekhyun sigh. “I’m going to my home. You’re going to your home. It’s fine.” Minji didn’t complain again after his short response to her, but you could feel her fuming through the wall.

Baekhyun said his goodbyes to Jongin, Chanyeol, and Soonja, and you heard his footsteps lead out the door.

You waited for a few minutes behind the wall, not wanting to make it too obvious that Baekhyun had just had his tongue down your throat only moments before. And he certainly had. And you had certainly kissed him back. And more.

Holy shit.

The one man you were supposed to keep your hands off of, and you couldn’t resist. You didn’t even try to resist. Maybe it was the liquor, but you had completely melted under his touch.

You could still feel his fingers on you, and suddenly you needed more. Every late-night sex dream you had compartmentalized and tried to forget for Minji’s sake came flooding back to you, and you wanted him. Bad.

Quickly coming up with an alibi, you turned the corner and faced your friends once again. “Hey, I think I’m gonna head out.” You turned to face Minji directly. “You know Chaeyoung, from work? She just messaged me and said she had a big fight with her boyfriend, and asked if I would come over.” You lied through your teeth.

“Oh, okay.” Minji answered softly, apparently still a bit bruised from Baekhyun’s words. “I’ll see you in the morning then, yeah?”

You nodded. “Yeah. Goodnight guys!”

Jongin stood. “Let me walk you out, Y/N.”

“No!” You shouted, a bit more forcefully, and suspiciously, than you meant. You bit your lip, lowering your voice back to a reasonable volume. “No, no, I’m fine. Thank you though.”

Before he could protest, you grabbed your purse from the table and rushed out the door and into the cold evening air.

As he said he would be, Baekhyun waited for you at the corner, hands shoved in his pockets, his breath visible in the air. When he spotted you approaching, he was grinning from ear to ear. Wordlessly, you began walking together step by step around the corner. Neither of you needed to speak to know you were heading for Baekhyun’s high rise apartment building. It was only a few blocks away, quick enough to walk. And there was no chance in hell you’d risk taking him back to yours and Minji’s place.

The cold air was sobering you on the walk, but it didn’t change your mind about what you were on your way to do. If anything, you felt more sure of yourself, taking long, purposeful strides to keep up with Baekhyun.

You only stopped once on your way, when you passed your favorite corner coffee shop. They were closed, but you stared inside at the counter and chairs flipped upside down. “I miss this place.” You stated. You hadn’t been in a few months when you came with Baekhyun, since before Minji’s request was made.

The darkness in the shop allowed you to see your reflection peering in, and Baekhyun’s figure next to you. You looked from his face back to yours in the reflection, and it dawned on you that this was really happening. You were here, with him, and only him. He caught your eye in the reflection and smiled. “Tomorrow?” He suggested. You nodded, and quickly went on your way to finish the walk.

Not long after, you made it to the building, Baekhyun buzzing you in through the main entrance with his key. The two of you politely walked past the nighttime security guard, giving him a small nod and continuing towards the elevators.

Once the elevator doors closed behind you, you picked up where you had left off.

Pressing your back against the wall, Baekhyun enveloped your lips in another powerful kiss, biting into your lower lip and pulling away slightly. Now that he knew you liked a little pain, there was no way he was going to be easy on you. Though you winced a bit at the feeling, you rested your hands on his shoulders and pulled him back against you, slipping your tongue inside his mouth.

You didn’t let go of each other when the elevator dinged and the doors opened. Hands and lips on one another, you moved out and into the hallway, making your way towards Baekhyun’s door. He took one hand off your waist to fumble in his pocket for his keys, never breaking contact on your mouth. Eyes closed in bliss and one hand still on you, he slipped the key in the lock and turned, opening the door to bring the two of you inside.

Finally.

The door was slammed shut behind you, and you found yourself once again with your back against the hard surface. What was in front of you was nearly just as hard, Baekhyun’s erection back with a vengeance and pressing against you as he moved hip lips to your neck and began sucking.

Everything about this moment felt amazing, apart from your feet. As you predicted, these heels were killer, and you wanted nothing more than to get them off. “Ow,” You whispered mindlessly as you struggled to kick the shoes off.

Baekhyun pulled back to look at you. “What?” He asked, eyes wide.

You laughed. “It’s my feet, these shoes. They’re killing me.”

Baekhyun grinned. “I’ll take care of it.”

Suddenly, his hands were gripping the underside of your ass, lifting you up off the ground as he returned his lips onto yours. He pressed his chest against yours, pushing you harder against the door for leverage as he removed your shoes one hand at a time, throwing them aimlessly into the living room behind him.

“Thanks,” You laughed breathily onto his lips, wrapping both of your legs around his back and pulling him closer.

Once both of his hands were again focused on holding you up, he moved you from against the door and carried you past the kitchen, down the hallway towards his bedroom. He closed the door once you were in the room, before gently letting you down to sit at the bottom edge of his bed.

You looked up at him from where you sat, watching him shrug his jacket off and toss it aside. Next off was his shirt, revealing his lean body as he lifted it. You licked your lips at the sight, taking his actions as your cue to remove what little clothing you had on as well.

But just as you start to lift the fabric of your dress, Baekhyun’s hands were on yours, stopping you. “No. Leave it on, please?” He asked, his puppy dog eyes begging you.

“Why?” You looked up at him quizzically.

Baekhyun responded with a shit-eating grin. “I told you it was gonna get you laid, didn’t I?”

You snorted, recalling what he’d said to you before you went out for the evening. “I guess you were right.”

Removing your hands from the fabric of your dress, you placed them on Baekhyun’s backside and pulled him closer to you. Standing in front of you, his toned stomach was at your eye level, and your eyes lowered as your hands flew to his belt to undo it. It was quickly off and tossed to the side with the rest of his items, your hands already working to undo the button of his jeans.

Baekhyun chuckled. “You seem pretty eager, huh?”

“I guess I wanted this just as bad as you do.” You retorted, glancing up at him with a smirk.

Returning your attention to what was in front of you, you shoved his jeans and boxers down below his hips in one go. As they fell to the floor and he stepped out of them and kicked them behind him, you couldn’t help but stare as his dick slapped against his stomach. Given his smaller, lean frame, you were shocked at how thick he was, and the thought of him stretching you out made your mouth water.

You must have stared a bit too long, because Baekhyun let out a playful, impatient sigh.

“Are you gonna do something, or wha-Oh,”

Before he could finish the word, your hand was wrapped around his base, lips around his tip. Your tongue danced over his slit, tasting the salty precum that had already seeped out. “Oh, wow,” Baekhyun groaned softly, his fingers wandering through the hair on the back of your head.

Finding work for your free hand, you gently cupped his balls, gently dragging your fingertips back and forth along the underside. Baekhyun cursed under his breath, his head rolling backwards and eyes pressed shut.

Pleased with your work, you started moving your head to take more of him into your mouth, one hand still wrapping firmly around his base. You bobbed back and forth, humming occasionally as you did so, reveling each time Baekhyun softly repeated your name.

“You’re pretty good at this, huh,” He said breathlessly, head still tilted back in bliss. You hummed again at the praise, taking his balls in your hand once again as you gave him a squeeze.

He groaned loudly at the action, hips bucking forward harshly as his cock plunged further into your mouth and slammed into the back of your throat. It took you by surprise, coughing around him as you pushed him away by his thighs and leaned back.

“Oh god, shit, I’m sorry,” Baekhyun apologized profusely, hands moving from your hair to hold your face. You laughed, still out of breath as you looked up at him. “It’s okay,” You answered, wiping the spit off your chin as you quickly brought him past your lips once again. His hands returned to the back of your head, gently caressing the nape of your neck.

You knew he wouldn’t try to push you to go further, but you wanted to feel the sensation once again. You wanted to choke around him.

Placing your palms flat on his ass, you slowly pushed him further and further, getting ready for the gag reflex that you knew was coming.

“Are you sure you want to...” He started, but cut himself off with a sinful moan as your throat started to constrict around his tip.

You held him there for a moment longer, as long as you could take it, before pulling your head back slowly until only your lips remained on the swollen pink head. Taking a deep breath through your nose, you began to repeat the sequence, slowly bringing him inside further and further until he completely blocked your airway. “Fuck,” He moaned again as you held him there.

Once more, you pulled back slowly, but this time he slipped out of your mouth as he gently pulled your head back.

“Was it good?” You asked breathlessly, your chest heaving from your effort.

“Yeah, it was good,” Baekhyun also breathed heavily. “More than good, actually. I was about to cum down your throat.”

You laughed as you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. “We wouldn’t want that, now would we?” You asked playfully.

“Absolutely not,” He growled, his sultry, low voice reminding you just how wet and desperate for his touch you were.

As if reading your mind, he raced to lower himself onto you on the bed, kissing you deeply as he moved you both further up towards the headboard. The kiss was sloppy and needy, and you moaned into his lips and you fisted his hair with one hand.

Breaking from your lips, Baekhyun pushed himself up over you. Gently, he rested his hands on your thighs and pulled your legs apart from one another. He settled himself on his knees between them, which prevented you from closing your legs. You smiled softly as his eyes hungrily raked over every inch of your body, licking his lips hungrily. “You’re so perfect.” He murmured, bringing his eyes back to meet your gaze.

“Stop.” You blushed and looked away, embarrassed by the compliment. Quickly, Baekhyun’s hand was on your chin, turn you back to peer up at him.

“No, I mean it.” He said forcefully, his eyes wide. Your small smile grew into a bigger one. He smiled in return. “And I want to see your pretty face when you cum.”

Leaving you with his lustful comment, he returned his attention to the bottom edge of your slip. Pushing it upwards over your hips, he revealed the black lace fabric you had covering you underneath. “You know, I think black suits you best, like the dress.” Baekhyun smirked, his hands ghosting over your wetness through the fabric, “Too bad we have to take them off.” He said, slipping his fingers underneath and pulling the underwear down and off your legs.

He leaned back down so his pretty face was only inches from yours. His hand rested on your stomach just above your most sensitive area, drawing slow circles. “Now, remind me again what it was you wanted me to do earlier?” He asked, feigning ignorance.

You rolled your eyes, anxious for him to give you what you needed. “Baekhyun, just touch me.”

“Like this?” He asked, bring his palm to rest flat over your folds, the heel of his hand putting an immense amount of pressure on your clit just as he did at the bar. He rubbed his fingertips over your skin gently, picking up the wetness that had been building since he first kissed you.

You moaned softly at the feeling of him rubbing you like that, bucking your hips upwards to increase the pressure. But as you did so, Baekhyun’s free hand came down forcefully onto your hip, pressing it into the mattress so you couldn’t lift yourself off it again.

His hand on your pussy remained stationary as you whined, desperate for him to move. “Baekhyun, please,” You begged pitifully. But instead of moving his hand, he just stared at your face with a smirk as your eyebrows scrunched together in frustration.

Eager to mimic his words from earlier, you breathlessly spit out, “Are you gonna do something, or wha-”

And just as you had before, he cut you off before you could finish the word, plunging two fingers past your folds and into your core, a loud gasp escaping your lips at the sensation of him deep inside of you. Not even your fantasies of his long, perfect fingers inside of you could prepare you for how far inside you they reached.

You let out another whiny moan as he began to slowly pump his fingers in and out of you, his face still close to yours as he breathed in the sinful sounds you were making. “You can be as loud as you want, baby,” He sighed into you. “It’s just us, remember?”

As those words came out of his mouth, he curled his fingers upwards inside of you, hitting the spot that made you moan out his name.

He pumped in and out a few more times, increasing his speed. “Come on, I know you can do better.” He taunted, curling his fingers once again with more force. The feeling had you seeing stars, eye rolling back as you nearly screamed his name.

“That’s better.” Baekhyun sighed.

His hand that had been pushing your hip down was suddenly on your clit, rubbing fast circles as he other hand increased speed inside of you.

“Shit, Baekhyun, oh my god,” You moaned, feeling every muscle in your body tensing in sequence as the pleasure built. You knew you wouldn’t last long with both of his hands working against you like this, and you screwed your eyes shut in anticipation of your climax.

Just before you tipped over the edge, Baekhyun removed both hands from you with a smile. You whined at the loss of contact, your orgasm ruined as your walls clenched around nothing. “Why’d you do that?” You asked breathlessly.

Baekhyun was clearly pleased by your reaction, his eyes glinting with amusement. “Because I waited for you. Now you have to wait for me.”

“I used my mouth. That’s harder work.” You pouted.

You were quickly shut up by Baekhyun’s fingers pressed against your lips, the ones that had just been inside of you. You parted your lips to allow them in. He slipped them inside, and gave you a smirk. “Next time, I’ll use my mouth, and I bet I can get you to scream even louder.” You sucked on his fingers, tasting the sweetness of your own arousal, and you felt your stomach flutter at the mention of a next time.

Baekhyun must have also felt the excitement his words caused, quickly bringing his lips back to yours to taste you on them. “Mmm...” He hummed against you. “I bet it’ll be even better when my mouth is on you for real.”

"Stop making promises and just fuck me, already.”

Baekhyun grinned at your words, just as eager to do what you both came here to do. Reaching over you, he opened the drawer of his bedside table, pulling out a condom. He ripped it open before tossing the wrapper somewhere on the floor, then sat back on his heels to roll it on himself. You watched as he did so, practically salivating at the thought of him finally inside of you.

Once it was on, he leaned forward again, one hand holding him up beside your head, and the other lining up his dick with your entrance. He looked down at you, his smile never fading, and stared into your eyes.

“Ready?” He asked softly, gently rubbing his tip between your wet folds. You shuddered at the teasing sensation and nodded. “Yeah, ready.”

With that, Baekhyun began pressing into you slowly. You each let out a mutual groan as your walls pulled him in deeper, and your fingers latched onto his back for dear life. He slowly pushed himself inside of you further, inch by inch. “God, you feel so fucking good,” He growled, using all of his strength to not start pounding into you immediately.

Just as you had imagined, his girth was stretching you intensely, causing a dull ache as he slowly gave you more and more to take. He let out a sharp breath when he felt himself bottom out. The feeling of his tip press against your cervix forced a cry from your lips, which Baekhyun swallowed as he kissed you deeply.

“Hurts?” He asked with concern, lifting his lips from yours to search for any amount of pain in your eyes. “A little,” You admitted, still pressing your fingertips deep into the skin of his back. “Just give me a minute. It’s been a while.” You laughed breathlessly,

“Whatever you need.” Baekhyun obliged, holding himself stationary above as the sweat pooled all over him, the dark hair sticking to his forehead becoming damp above you. You could tell he was struggling not to move by the way he turned away from your gaze. The sight of him falling apart above you made your discomfort dissipate and turn to pleasure, your walls squeezing around Baekhyun.

“Please, I have to move.” Baekhyun sighed, the feeling of you clenching sending him to the edge. You nodded, and he slowly pulled out before easing back into you, creating a slow and steady pace with his hips. You groaned at the delicious feeling of him moving inside of you, filling you completely with every slow thrust. You found his eyes, giving him a reassuring squeeze on his bicep. “You don’t have to be gentle with me, you know.”

"Oh, thank god.” He let out a sigh of relief. “I can’t take it this slow.”

And with your words guiding him, Baekhyun increased his pace, earning small groans from you each time he filled you to the hilt. You bounced on the bed with each rock of his hips into you, opting to grab the headboard above you with both hands so as to not slow him down. “Don’t stop, Baek,” You moaned up at him. “Feels so good.”

He groaned at your words, squeezing his eyes shut to focus on his movements. You watched his face contort in concentration, thoroughly enjoying the look on his face as he fell apart above you, whispering your name each time he thrusted in. “Does it feel good?” You questioned him teasingly.

Eyes still shut, Baekhyun let out a breathy laugh at your words. “Yeah, feels amazing,” He answered between grunts as he continued thrusting.

“Then fuck me harder.” You egged him on breathlessly. “I know you can.”

Baekhyun’s eyes shot open at your challenge, catching the impish look you threw at him. “Harder? No problem.”

And he met your challenge with determination. Carefully, he pulled himself nearly all the way out, before slamming himself back down onto you as hard as he could. The blow caused you to let out your loudest moan yet, and before you could recover he was crashing into you again. And again. And again. Each time, you screamed louder than before, causing the smirk on his face to grow. “How’s that?” He asked sarcastically. “Hard enough?”

You let out laugh between gasping breaths, trying to regain some amount of composure in your current situation. “Yeah, good,” You managed to pant out. “Not gonna be able to walk tomorrow.”

“That’s the goal,” Baekhyun muttered back. Suddenly, his long fingers were wrapped around your neck, as he pulled you to lay sideways. Not letting go, he quickly repositioned himself so that he lay behind you, and began thrusting up into you once more.

You moaned louder and louder with each thrust, the new angle allowing him to hit the spot that had you screaming his name just minutes before. You felt yourself starting to slip away, your vision going hazy as every muscle in your body began to tighten, the pit of your stomach dropping. You clenched around him as he groaned, the tightness pushing him closer and closer to his own edge.

Baekhyun could sense you were nearly there, bringing his free hand down to where you were connected to rub fast circles into your clit. You knew you were a goner, and syllables leaving your lips incoherent. You pressed your hand on top of Baekhyun’s that was still around your neck, encouraging him to squeeze harder. He groaned as he followed your instructions, tightening his grip on your airway. “Cum for me.” He whispered delicately into your ear. “It’s just us, remember? I’m here.”

His words pushed you over the edge, and you struggled to gasp for air as Baekhyun brought you to your climax, both hands on you and dick buried deep inside you. The wave of pleasure that washed through your whole body was so intense, your vision completely blacking out as you shuddered and shook in Baekhyun’s grasp, repeating his name over and over, “Baekhyun, Baekhyun...”.

He continued holding you and rubbing your over-sensitized area as you came down, your walls clenching spastically around him. Releasing his grip from your throat, he continued thrusting fast and hard into you from behind. “Gonna cum,” He muttered out between fast breaths, the feeling of you spasming sending him over the edge. His hips sputtered and a string of curses fell from his lips, mixing with your name as he came undone in your ear and released into the condom.

He slowed and pressed himself deep inside of you as both of your breathing subsided, still coming down from both of your highs. You turned your head to look back at Baekhyun, his cheeks flushed and drenched hair framing the blissful look in his eyes. He was absolutely beautiful. He caught your eye, noticing you staring, before kissing you deeply, his hand coming up to rest on your cheek.

You pulled back slightly, smiling. “Didn’t you say you wanted to see my pretty face when I came?”

Baekhyun laughed, rubbing his thumb on your rosy cheek. “Next time, yeah?”

You nodded, not able to control your smile.

He slipped out of you and stood from the bed, looking around the floor to locate his boxers. As he pulled them on, you adjusted your dress that had remained on but migrated up to your chest. You sat up on the bed, bringing your knees into your chest and admiring Baekhyun’s figure.

Turning back to look at you, he grinned. “I’m gonna get some water. Need anything?” He asked.

“Water would be great.” You replied as he turned to exit the room. Hearing the faucet run in the kitchen, you decided to rid yourself of your sweaty garment, opting for Baekhyun’s discarded t-shirt on the floor. Slipping it on, you smelled the remnants of his cologne, heaving a deep sigh and smiling involuntarily. The shirt didn’t completely cover your ass, but it would do.

You slipped into the bathroom to inspect your appearance in the mirror. You hair, which was already somewhat of a mess to begin with, was even bigger now, and your makeup a bit more smudged. But you looked free. You felt happy.

Baekhyun appeared in the mirror beside you, glass of water in hand for you. You accepted it with a quick thank you, gulping it down.

“So you like being choked, huh?”

Coincidentally, you nearly choked on your water when Baekhyun blurted it out.

Catching yourself, you gasped for air and tried to recover.

“I mean, first you want to choke on my dick, then you want me to choke you out?”

“Baekhyun!” You gasped, slapping him on the arm.

“I know you said you were into some kinky stuff, but damn...” Baekhyun chuckled the shit-eating grin returning to his face.

You rolled your eyes. “Like you didn’t like it.” You teased back.

Baekhyun shook his head. “Never said I didn’t. Looks good, by the way.” He paused to look you up and down, his shirt draped over your body. He scratched the back of his neck. “I assume, you’re, uh, gonna spend the night?”

You blushed a bit at the question, shifting on your feet uncomfortably. “I mean, yeah, if that’s okay. If I went home now, Minji would-”

“It’s totally fine, don’t worry.” Baekhyun reassured you, gently placing a kiss on your forehead. “You wanna borrow some shorts or something? If I wake up in the middle of the night with your bare ass against me, I can’t promise I’ll behave...”

You laughed, the comfort of being with Baekhyun returning. He graciously offered you a pair of gym shorts, which you accepted.

As you set your glass of water on the bedside table, you felt drowsiness from your activities and night of drinking overtake you. Slipping between the sheets, your eyelids felt heavy.

Baekhyun flipped the light switch before joining you in bed, snaking an arm around your waist and pulling you close.

“Goodnight.” Baekhyun whispered, intertwining his legs with yours.

You smiled, eyes closing. “Goodnight.”

Before you lost consciousness, one last thought passed through your mind-

“It’s just us, remember?”

You hoped it was true.

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queercapwriting · 4 years

Note

To be honest I have a headcanon where Lena is like the baby gay and is trying so hard to flirt with Kara aka the oblivious bi mess we all know and love. Then like Lucy and Vasquez in the background and ending up helping the lil' luthor because while it's entertaining it's also mortifying to watch; with a heavy dose of good natured teasing from them towards both Lena and Kara.

“This is getting excruciating,” Vasquez muttered to Lucy, because really, it was.

Lena had been vouched for by a very protective Kara and a very defensive Supergirl and had been screened by a protective (of Kara) J’onn and given the all clear - so she’d been in the DEO about as much as Maggie had been of late.

But at least the older Danvers girl had finally figured out that those butterfly feelings were because she wanted to date Maggie, and when Maggie kissed her back, at least she finally understood that Maggie wanted to date her.

And so, they were dating.

But Kara and Lena?

Good Lord.

Lena was trying her damnedest. Wearing her hair in a high ponytail that made Kara gulp and splutter and go to adjust her glasses even when she wasn’t wearing them as Supergirl.

Leaning over Kara in the lab, Lucy and Vasquez not needing superhearing to know exactly how hard Lena’s heart was pounding as she tried to inch closer to Kara, tried to radiate to Kara that it was okay if Kara leaned in, too, that it was more than okay if Kara leaned in, too.

She was radiating it to everyone. Poor J’onn constantly looked like he had a headache.

Lena was radiating it to everyone, it seemed, but Kara.

Kara, who kept gaping when Lena walked by and then snapping her head into a sharp shake, clearly telling herself that Lena wasn’t into her, that Lena wasn’t even into women, and Kara should just stop being such a bad friend already.

“I dunno, Vasquez,” Lucy shrugged, leaning back and putting her feet up on Winn’s desk, utterly unconcerned that he was trying to use his computer. “It’s kind of… amusing? Does that make me a terrible person?”

“Your utter disregard for my very advanced technology is what makes you a terrible person, Lane,” Winn muttered. Lucy ruffled his hair and begrudgingly took her feet down from his desk. She put them on his lap instead.

“Now you can use your very advanced technology,” she grinned. Winn glared for a moment before shrugging and continuing to program some complicated tech detector that Lucy only vaguely understood but deeply appreciated.

“And it is, by the way,” Winn added, not even needing to look up from his work to hear Lena’s extra breathy laugh at something utterly less than funny Kara had said. “Both excruciating and hilarious. We should do something to help, though. Because poor Lena. I’ve been there. Kara’s not gonna get it until Lena tattoos it onto her forehead.” He furrowed his brow. “You know what. Maybe not even then.”

He turned and sighed, shaking his head affectionately at Kara. “Seriously. You guys need to save Lena from… this. And J’onn. The man looks like he is suffering.”

“I am suffering, Mr. Schott,” J’onn murmured as he walked by behind them. “Don’t you all have things you need to be doing?”

“Like curing your headache? Sir?” Vasquez asked. J’onn covered his face with his hand, knowing when his children had defeated him.

“Sure, Agent Vasquez. By all means, assist Ms. Luthor. Just… just don’t think so loudly about it.”

Lucy kicked her feet off Winn’s lap and snapped to attention with a grin. “Thank you, sir.”

“Good God,” J’onn just muttered as he walked away.

“Anything I can do, Papa Bear?” Winn asked.

“You can never call me that again,” J’onn said, but the smile in his eyes was obvious, and Winn didn’t stop grinning for the rest of the day.

+++

“Um, excuse me, Ms. Luthor. Ma’am. Can I borrow you?”

Lena turned away from Kara with raised eyebrows, raw and hopeless want still frozen in her eyes. “It’s Lena, really. Just Lena. I’d prefer it, truly.”

“Ms. Lena. Ma’am.”

Lena sighed and laughed, putting her hand on Kara’s arm. Lucy and Vasquez watched Kara’s heart beat out of her chest at the contact, and it was all either of them could do to not groan aloud.

“I’ll be back,” Lena told Kara, who looked like she was still trying to remember Earth languages. “Lead the way,” she told Vasquez gamely.

But she and Lucy didn’t lead Lena to the lab. They led her to the armory.

“Does J’onn think I need to learn how to defend myself better?” Lena asked, concern in her voice.

“No, actually, he knows exactly how well you can kick ass,” Lucy smirked, hopping up to sit casually on one of the old targets Winn was reprogramming to move in and out of the visible spectrum.

Vasquez closed the door behind them. “We just needed someplace quiet to talk.’

Lena visibly stiffened. “Have I done something wrong?” Her voice lost all the softness it had been acquiring of late, leaning more toward the stern CEO her mother had trained her to be.

Defense after defense after defense.

Lucy softened and put her hands out to Lena. “No, God, sorry. Listen, I’m a military brat and Vasquez has been a secret agent since birth, I guess we don’t know how to do anything without being…”

“Extra?”

“Terrifying?”

“Extra terrifying?”

“I was going to say suspiciously secretive.”

Lena huffed, but her shoulders relaxed just slightly even as she hugged herself. “Well? What is it, then?”

Lucy Lane was straight - well, not straight, but it was just an expression, after all - out of the JAG Corps, so she didn’t really see much point in indirectness.

“You’re in love with Supergirl. Kara. Everyone knows she’s the same person, it’s not like the glasses exactly do much and it’s not like Alex doesn’t constantly call Supergirl her sister and it’s not like you’re exactly stupid.”

Lena was blinking like her contacts were acting up, and her shoulders were back to being tense.

“I… think she’s still hung up on that first part you said, Luce. The in love part.”

“Yes, I am,” Lena said, barely at a whisper. “I am… I’m not even ou… how did you -”

“Military training.”

“Spy stuff.”

“Also, we have eyes.”

“And ears.”

“And we’ve seen -”

“And heard -”

“You two interact once or twice.”

Lena blinked again. “Do you two ever -”

“Not finish each other’s sentences? Occasionally.”

“Yeah, but you should see my friends Fitz-Simmons, we’re not nearly as bad as they are,” Vasquez shrugged. “But you’re changing the subject, Ms. Luthor. Ms. - Lena. Crap, okay. Lena. You’re changing the subject.”

“I… okay. Well.” Lena’s shoulders were tense again. Very much so. But there was also something that might have been hope with a dash of excitement in her eyes. Like she finally had people to talk to about… all this.

“Well, what if I were?” She lowered her voice. “In love with Kara?”

“Well then,” Lucy smiled from ear to ear, “we’re going to help you, because honey, Kara is not going to pick up on subtle cues.”

“The consummate disaster bisexual.”

“So she is into girls?”

“Oh yeah.”

“Most definitely.”

“100%.”

Lena visibly relaxed - this conversation really seemed to be wreaking havoc on her nervous system - and bit her lip.

“Am I really being that pathetic?”

“Not at all,” Vasquez shook her head. “No, you’re just flirting your ass off. And it’s not bad - your flirting or your ass… um. Respectfully. Ma’am.”

“It’s Lena. And thank you.”

“Lena. You’re not being pathetic. It’s just that Kara…”

“Kara is one of the smartest women I’ve ever met,” Lucy said. “She’s also just as a big of a disaster as her sister.”

“Which means?”

“Which means you need our help.”

Lena sighed, her eyes nothing but vulnerable. “But do you think it even would be worth it? Do you think she even feels… anything for me?”

“Oh, she does,” Lucy nodded, her eyes glistening as plan after plan formed behind them. “She definitely does.”

+++

Two hours later, Lucy leaned back onto the desk Kara was standing at, looking over some surveillance footage with Winn.

Lucy had, over course, fully briefed Winn over comms.

Alex also knew. As did Maggie.

As did J’onn, though much to his dismay, no one had to tell him with their words.

“Hey Kara,” Lucy said, her voice so deliberately casual that Alex rolled her eyes from all the way across the room.

“Oh Rao, what could you possibly want?” Kara asked, because she might be oblivious when people liked her, but she certainly wasn’t stupid.

“Want? Me? I don’t want anything. World peace, maybe. Or, galactic peace, that would be nice.”

“Lucy.”

“Kara.”

“I’m busy. The whole Supergirl thing?”

“Right,” Lucy said, and Winn looked over his shoulder to exchange an exasperated glance with Alex, who was pretending very badly to be looking over a situation report. “That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about. You’re so busy, all the time now, you know? Big promotion at CatCo, all the chaos here… Have you had any time, you know… for yourself?”

Kara frowned. “You know I do, Lucy. We have game nights once a week, and you know I have sisters’ nights with Alex -”

“I meant sex, Kara.”

“Oh my God.” Winn let his head bang down on his desk and Alex glared at Vasquez like this was all her fault. Lena, per their plan, was nowhere in ear shot.

“Are you making time for sex? Or, dating, if you don’t want to have sex, because that’s, you know, perfectly fine, if you’re not into that. Or either. That’s okay too, but I was just -”

“I am,” Kara grabbed at Lucy’s wrist and lowered it, like the gesture would also lower Lucy’s voice. “Into those things. Sometimes. With the right… person.”

“Okay, cool. And if I thought I found someone right for you… would you… be interested?”

“Are you setting me up, Lucy? Because for a military lawyer turned secret agent, you’re pretty un-subtle.”

Lucy waved her off. “I’m not going for subtly, Kara. You wouldn’t see subtly if it flirted with you right in the face. Which is exactly the problem.”

Kara went to adjust her glasses before realizing they weren’t on. “What are you talking about?”

“Lena,” Alex mouthed from across the room, and Vasquez hit her on the arm before springing to attention and mouthing an apology. Alex grinned, and Vasquez relaxed.

“It’s like when I liked you, Kara, remember?” Winn blurted. “It was years, you know, and you just really… couldn’t tell.”

“Oh, Winn, are you still - I’m so sorry, it -”

“No, no, James and I are doing great. I love you, Kara, but romantically you’re yesterday’s news -”

“And our incestuous dating pool keeps getting more and more mixed,” Lucy grinned, clapping Winn on the shoulder. “You have excellent taste, my friend.”

“As do you,” Winn gave a little bow from his seat.

“Where is this all going?” Kara asked, dropping her voice to Supergirl level, which was when Vasquez happened to be walking by.

“Supergirl. Ma’am. There’s a situation in the lab the requires your attention. Um. Urgently.”

“Smooth,” Alex whispered as Kara nodded efficiently and practically flew down to the lab.

“What’s the situation? Is everything - oh. Oh. This… doesn’t look like the lab.”

Because it really didn’t. Lucy and Vasquez - with more than a little help from Winn and Alex, while Maggie talked Lena through her excitement and terror in the adjacent room, and a bit of help from J’onn, who really just needed his children to stop thinking so loudly about all of this - had transformed the lab into a romantic dinner for two, complete with candles and a couple bottles of wine on ice (including a Kryptonian version for Kara) and a tablecloth Winn had handstitched for his first home date with James.

There were steaming potstickers and pancakes piled high on the table - because it was Kara Danvers, after all, and Lena had insisted on making sure she had her favorite things - and Lucy had insisted right back that Lena was one of them.

Lena had almost believed her when Alex vehemently agreed.

And then there was Lena.

She wasn’t in a lab coat and - thank Rao - she wasn’t in any danger. Well, danger of passing out from excited nerves, maybe, but it wasn’t some type of emergency like Kara had thought.

“We had it redone. Just for the evening. Alex gave her consent, don’t worry.”

Kara didn’t look worried. No, that wasn’t the word.

Because Lena was in this red dress, subtle but tight and Rao, Kara had never… she wasn’t… words.

Words were failing her. Language was eluding her. Breath was completely escaping her.

“Lena, what…”

“I’ve been told that I’ve been too subtle in my attempts to flirt with you. So we decided - I decided - that it was time to just… tell you.” She straightened up, at once the woman her mother had trained her to be and every bit her own person. It was intoxicating. She was intoxicating.

“Tell me?”

“That I want you. Um. To date you. That you’re my best friend and you’re an enormous dork and your body is almost as beautiful as your heart and Maggie says we should kiss the girls we want to kiss and I -”

But Kara was already across the room, her hands were already on Lena’s waist, her forehead already pressed delicately against hers.

“You want me to kiss you?” Kara asked, in the most heady combination of her Supergirl and Kara voice she’d ever found.

“I do,” Lena whispered, so Kara… Kara did.

“Victory is mine!” Lucy made them both jump, until the combined force of Vasquez, Alex, and Winn dragged her away, leaving Kara and Lena to finally… admit some things to each other.

#supercorp #supercorp humor #supercorp fluff #supercorp fic #lucy lane #all one needs to say #is lucy fucking lane #bonus points if you catch the shield reference because i'm trash

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girls-scenarios · 5 years

Text

Good Enough

Idol: Mina (Twice)

Prompt: Hmm about that Mina request I mean... Her gf is on twice training but she's watching (for example) Nayeon all the time cause her dance is amazing so Mina is kinda sad and jealous but there is fluff in the end... I don't know but if it's not clear - tell me so I'll ask about something else 💞

Writer: Admin Kiwi

A/N: I hope this is what you wanted, anon? I did take a few little liberties because I wasn’t completely sure about the request but I hope you enjoy! Also, get well soon Mina! We miss you.

♡ Tip Jar♡

Mina couldn’t lie. Sometimes, she felt insecure, comparing herself to the other girls around her. Some other girls could dance better, sing better, had a better stage presence, and were prettier. It wasn’t healthy, and she knew it, but she couldn’t help it. At first, she’d started looking at the other girls to try and better herself. Then, she couldn’t stop.

Dating you had helped boost her confidence, sort of.

The two of you had been dating for a while, starting way back before Mina was even an idol. She’d immediately been taken with you, but she’d been so shy that it had taken her a little while (and some pushing from her friends) to make a move. After making the move, though, she was happy. You loved her for exactly who she was, and made her feel better about all of the things she couldn’t control. Whenever she felt upset or insecure, she’d turn to you, and you made her feel better.

Then, she made the mistake of taking you to watch her in training.

You’d been interesting in seeing her practice, so after talking to you about it a few times and finally getting it cleared by her manager, she’d been excited to show you what all went into her job as an idol. She hadn’t been thinking about how it might re-open some old insecurities she’d had since Sixteen.

Nayeon was perfect. So perfect that Mina couldn’t help comparing herself to her, ever since she met her. It was like Nayeon could do everything Mina could do, but better. On top of that, she was pretty and cute and funny and outgoing, while Mina could hardly speak to people she didn’t know. Everyone liked Nayeon. In fact, it was impossible for Mina to hate her, even if she felt jealous and insecure around her. She was just so nice that Mina couldn’t help but like her. And somehow, that made all the insecurities even worse. But after they’d debuted together, Mina had learned to deal with her insecurities. She’d learned to love Nayeon like a sister, and she’d stopped seeing her as competition.

But halfway through practice, she noticed you were watching Nayeon dance instead of her, and all those insecurities just came flooding back. She knew that you would never leave her, and she knew Nayeon would reject you even if you tried, loyal to Mina first and foremost, but she couldn’t help the sinking feeling in her stomach and the ball winding itself up in her chest. You liked Nayeon more than her. And she understood why.

Afterwards, she realized that her dancing was getting worse. Her voice was unstable when she tried to sing, and she just wanted to stay in the back where no one, including you, could see her being pathetic. Internally, she berated herself for letting something so small and stupid get to her so much, but she knew that she couldn’t help it. Over-thinking everything and over-worrying was her specialty, aside from being shy and introverted.

“Mina? Are you okay?” Momo’s voice knocked her out of her thoughts as they took a breather, and she shook her head slowly, not daring to glance over at you. Were you talking to Nayeon even now? She figured that you probably were, complimenting Nayeon on her dancing and singing abilities that were so far above hers. “Mina.”

“Sorry. I’m just out of it today,” she mumbled, taking a sip of her water to try and calm herself down. Why was she overreacting so much?

“Have you been getting enough sleep?” Momo reached up to check her forehead, worry written all over her face. “I haven’t seen you like this since Sixteen.”

At the mention of Sixteen, Mina shivered and closed her eyes, not wanting to remember how she was back then. “I’m fine,” she insisted, glancing back at where you sat. Sure enough, you were talking to Nayeon. She felt her heart sink. “I’m fine,” she said again, this time to convince herself.

“You don’t seem fine. Maybe you should sit this one out. Are you getting sick? Hang on, let me grab Jihyo, she’ll know what to do.”

“No! No. I’m fine. I’ll dance.” She took one last sip of her water and pulled her hair up into a ponytail. “Please don’t worry Jihyo. She’ll get it into her head that I’m dying and then it will be a whole thing.”

Momo didn’t look convinced, but she pressed her lips together and turned away anyway, not pushing it any further. “Just take care of yourself, okay?”

“Okay.” Sighing, Mina rolled her shoulders and closed her eyes once again, trying to do small, deep breaths. Calm, she needed to be calm. She could do this.

“Wow, you’re one lucky girl, Mina.” Nayeon’s voice echoed in her head, and she jumped as she opened her eyes, looking over at the older girl. Nayeon was smiling as she picked up her water bottle, and a hundred different things went through Mina’s head, but before she could latch onto any of them, the older girl spoke again. “(Y/N) wouldn’t shut up about you.”

Mina blinked, heart jumping in her chest. “Really?”

“Really! I went over to say hi since I didn’t get to welcome them in earlier, and they just started gushing over how awesome they think you are.” Nayeon grinned and gave Mina a wink. “I’m glad you found someone who loves you so much, you lucky girl.”

“O-oh. Thank you.” Something sparked in her stomach. It was hope, clearing away the cloud of self-doubt that had enveloped her earlier. Momo called for them to get into formation again, and Nayeon groaned dramatically before dragging herself back into the group. Mina walked back to the floor with them, but now, she had a bit more confidence in her shoulders. Maybe you were watching her after all.

Maybe she was good enough.

After practice had finished and the two of you were back at your place, she decided to bring it up, heart pounding in her chest from how nervous she was.

“Hey, um, (Y/N)?”

You looked up from where you were finishing up dinner, something you’d promised to make her in return for her letting you come to practice with her. Your eyebrows were raised, a little smile on your lips as you spoke. “Yes, love?”

“So. During practice, I noticed that you were watching Nayeon.”

You stalled slightly, like you were trying to remember, before nodding your head. “Oh! Briefly, yes. She’s really good at the chorus part of ‘Yes or Yes’, it was kind of cool to see it up close. If I didn’t know what her personality is like, I would have thought she was actually pretty cool.” You let out a little laugh. “Too bad I know she’s just a huge dork.”

Mina bit her lip, eyes darting to the floor before going back up to you. “She, um, said that you talked to her about me?”

Your cheeks colored slightly, but you laughed once again. “She told you about that? I guess I just couldn’t help myself. You always look so good dancing. After seeing you dance to ‘Dance the Night Away’, I just couldn’t help it. You dance that choreography the best, in my opinion.”

“You really think so?”

“Yeah, of course! You just look so pretty and make the dance look so easy. How could I take my eyes off you? Although I can never take my eyes off you, really.” You turned off the oven, moving to get some plates, and she felt her heart swell with affection for you. She’d been so worried for no reason.

“Do you think I dance better than Nayeon?”

“By miles. Although I might be biased.” You glanced back at her, face a bit worried. “What is this about?”

“Well, when I saw you watching Nayeon, I was reminded of all the insecurities I had during Sixteen. I was overthinking it, but I couldn’t help wondering if I was good enough. And I was so relieved to hear you say that you were watching me.” Her cheeks were flushed from embarrassment from admitting it as she looked down at the ground, worried that she’d said too much and you might think it was weird. But you walked up and wrapped her up in your arms, kissing her forehead affectionately.

“I thought I noticed you seemed a little off for a while. I’m sorry for worrying you.”

“No, I’m sorry for overthinking it.” She hugged you back and closed her eyes, breathing in the smell of food and your cologne.

“That’s just the way you are,” you said softly. “I know that you couldn’t help it. But I want you to know that you’re the only one for me. Of course you’re good enough. You’re more than good enough. No matter how good Nayeon dances or how god Jihyo sings, you’ll always be number one for me. I love you, Mina.”

She felt a bit like crying, but she laughed instead, so glad that she’d found someone who understood her like you did. “I love you too. Thank you. Sometimes I just need a little reassuring.”

“I know.” You smiled as you pulled away. “I don’t mind at all. But you must be hungry after all that practicing and worrying.”

With a little giggle, she nodded. “I’m starving. I’m glad we got that over with so that we can eat.”

“Glad we’re on the same page.” You gently let her go, walking back over to the stove to fix two plates, and she watched you with a smile, finally feeling happy and secure. And as you walked back, proclaiming that you had a plate of food for your favorite girl in the world, and giving her a little kiss as you placed the food in front of her, she knew you were telling the truth.

She was good enough for you. And you loved her just the way she was.

#twice #mina #femifics #twice mina #myoui mina #mina scenarios #twice mina scenarios #twice scenarios #girl group scenarios #kpop scenario #girl groups #kpop girl groups

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pharihyde · 4 years

Text

@murderaer

Right now, Yuri Lowell looks particularly kissable, he wonders. And immediately freezes, running that thought through his mind once again, the following thought akin to a wordless feeling of ‘what the fuck’ and he’s most certainly pushing that nonsense down. Too drunk, he figures, head shaking over his drink. Hardly had any booze, but, well, since taking a trip with the kids he’s been cutting back. Wasn’t quite so hard to stay sober, wasn’t quite to tempting to drown everything out. This thought though--made him start to rethink this new policy. Didn’t think he could handle that nonsense sober.

“What’s the problem, old man?” Dry and biting as always, pulling the old bird back from his cups. Hadn’t been so good at hiding that lil crisis of his, huh. Eh, he’d just play it off, shake it off like always. One little stray thought didn’t mean anything.

“Nothin’, nothin’. Hey, pass over th’ salt--” Just pass the night like normal.

The light’s behind the wolf now, and the bird has his chin propped up on his hand, slack jaw and expression as he looks, eyes trailing up and down the line of gold that framed the younger’s jawline, the slope his neck, the beginning of his chest--

And then his shoulders hitch as he starts to think again, and realizes what he’s doing. Damn fool. Out goes a frustrated huff of air as he turns away, restless irritation rising to run his hand through his hair now. He was too sober for this. Too damn sober to be admiring a man, admiring Yuri. The hell was he doing.

He plays it off again. He always plays it off. But there’s just the slightest edge to it this time, the making sure he doesn’t look too long, doesn’t get too affectionate, doesn’t lean over and playfully yank Yuri’s hair, doesn’t let his smiles linger. This seems to frustrate the wolf over time. Frustrates himself more. The night ends on a sour note.

He’s been thinking. Doesn’t like that. But he’s been thinking. And he’s decided what to do.

Nothing.

Yep, just ignore it. Forget it. Sooner or later those weird feelings will dissipate, or, worst case, become so normal he can just tune ‘em out. Ignoring all his problems has definitely, always worked in the past. Absolutely. What a weight off his chest this decision is! No more fretting over if he’s seriously attracted to a) a man and b) this man. Probably just mistaking the normal feeling of intimacy people feel towards their best friends (which, as sarcastically as the phrase always comes out when saying it aloud, was the truth) anyway.

It’s not like Yuri would want some old bird attempting to woo him anyway. Wouldn’t want the normal schmooze he gives the ladies, the usual over-heavy laying on the charm. Not seriously. As a gag, maybe, and even then it’s all eye rolls and ‘not funny’s. Wouldn’t want that hand on his back, those rough lips by his ear. He’s washed up, he’s got a messy past, got too much bagged that the kid knew too much about to ever have the same thoughts cross his mind.

So, hands in his pockets, a spring in his step, he whistles. It’s all right. He’ll get over it.

He’s not really getting over it. Not as fast as he’d hoped. He’d hoped that as soon as he made his decision, it’d stop. Wouldn’t find himself making up excuses to stand so close, at least. Wouldn’t have found an excuse to keep his hand behind the wolf (th’ place is crowded, yeah?) as he puts on a smile that’s part giddy and part forced. Good thing he didn’t really have a heart, so he didn’t have to listen to any damned pounding of a fool. He’s a fool that ought get pounded. Wouldn’t even mind a sorta pounding--

Nope. Nope, not continuing that thought, and it ruins his mood enough to visibly make a face of disgust with himself. Yikes. Really losing it there, bud. Way too old to act like this. He takes his hand back, takes a step away, has to rub his face to rub in how dumb he’s acting. Yuri looks back, looks as if he’s going to say something, but really, the bird has been so strange lately, this might as well be normal. There’s no point to asking what’s wrong. Wouldn’t get an answer anyway. It’d just annoy them both. So the bird settles in, this time with much more distance, and they pretend it’s a normal night, just like all the others.

Say, maybe he’s had a couple too many to drink. He was irritated, Yuri’s words were cutting more and more, and they were both on the verge of leaving, calling it a night and trying to play masquerade another day. Rough hands tighten ‘round bottle’s neck--this is a damn dumb way to act. A phrase he’s been repeating over and over to himself the whole night. This nonsense was going to run sour anything they did, wasn’t it. He couldn’t--let that happen, now could he. This was his best friend, after all.

Sure, his guild-mates were fine, he had his hands full with helping run a global power, his skills as spy and pet and assassin coming in handy, all the years he’d spent at the sides of those in charge, and apparently he’d picked up more than he thought. Yet, even with Harry there was distance. The kid didn’t need to know all the bird’s past deeds, all the mistakes and wrongs he did and all the parts that were still sharp and broken. Same went for Karol, and the rest of them.

‘Sides, Yuri was a good reminder what would await him if he fell off the track again. He thought about it still, sometimes. There were still days he felt he shouldn’t be around, days he wondered why the line ought be bothered to tread, what did it matter, days were he damn near just did anything at all he was told to do, just to not think. Ah, but that wasn’t the sort of stuff Raven did, and the young wolf kept him remembering that. Raven was a flirt and a sleaze, but he was also an upstanding member of Altosk. He wouldn’t know what to do without Yuri there. He’d probably be fine, maybe--but it sure wouldn’t be the same, wouldn’t feel quite so right or be quite so happy. Strange thing to say, ‘bout someone who’s business was murder.

There the wolf goes, getting up to leave, and the bird can’t blame him. A slow, unappealing end to the night, and he’s just inebriated enough to lurch to his feet as well, grab the man’s wrist. He doesn’t quite know what to do with it, but he’s got it, and he figures he’s got to say something about.

“--Sorry. Sorry, ‘bout t’night. ‘Bout th’ last nights.” Ah, he sounds pathetic, tripping over his words. He can’t even convince himself to look up, just staring at his hand as he holds onto the other, his grip loosening as he speaks. Yuri’s warm. But--he doesn’t think he likes this. Doesn’t like having so many feelings for someone, even if he is overreacting, mistaking any feelings for another. Even if it’s all platonic, doesn’t know if he likes being so tied to someone, so invested in their well-being, so interested in their company. Had he ever cared for someone so much--?

“Look, this is--this is gonna be weird, a’right? But I just--bah, I’m jus’ overthinkin’ things an’ getting weird.” He’s so frustrated with himself, so annoyed by not being to deal with this in the way he always has--shove it down and ignore it.This irritation helps push him into his next action, a quick half step forward, thrusting his head near Yuri’s, close ‘nough his own breath warms his lips as he closes in--

And he chickens out. Staying there, freezing. Ah, damn. The wolf pulls back, nose wrinkled from the stench of alcohol on his breath, and those lips part for some sort of beratement, surely--and he’s got his second wind, free hand up to cup the wolf’s cheek as he capitalizes on confusion and irritation to slip in that kiss he’s been thinking about for far too long. A bothersome thing, these ‘feelings’, a more bothersome reaction in his enjoyment of the feeling, wanting to do more than a quick surprise kiss, a there and gone, and really relish that warmth. But he won’t, far too much a coward for even as much as he’s done, and he’s cut off all contact with the wolf as if he was holding hot iron.

“Yep, weird. Right, see ya next time yer in town, bud.” Oh, he hasn’t attempted to book quite so awkward or quite so hasty a retreat in quite some time, and from the grimace on his face, the stiff movements, one really isn’t quite sure if he enjoyed that action, or if the man was in any control of himself at all. And, really, he wasn’t all too sure on either front himself.

#murderaer #;look. /look/. i wanted to write /serious/ kisses okay #;but it would take raven an existential crisis to kiss yuri so here we are #;if its not in the name of a joke he cannot bring himself to show physical intimacy okay #;does he like like yuri idk i'll leave that up to u #;this is just me rambling too much probably & not a proper thing at all

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pandatowrites · 5 years

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Hmmmm. So many to choose. Can I put two together? I think 28: how drunk was I and 26: the diamond in your engagement ring is fake, would be funny together. If you want lol

28. How drunk was I / 26. The diamond in your engagement ring is fake - EreRi

When he woke up, his head was throbbing painfully and his vision was blurry. Where were his glasses?

He closed his eyes again, reached for his seeing-help on the nightstand and tried to grab them blindly, only to yeet his phone on the floor in the process of searching, which created a rather loud thud. “Fuck”, Eren sighed, pain tainting his already rough voice, and let his hands run over his sweaty face.

With more caution he took hold of his glasses and slid them on his face, over his ears and his nose.

“Ugh, honey, what time is it?”, he mumbled while his eyes adjusted to the dark. It felt like he had not slept at all, but at the same time he couldn’t exactly tell if he had because he did in fact not remember going to bed the evening before. When no response ringed in his ears, he rolled over, only to see an empty spot. Eren had to take several glances between confused blinks, because usually his fiance would sit there and read a book until it was time to get ready. His insomnia made it almost impossible to sleep longer than 4 hours a night, so he had found great pleasure in occupying himself with reading books while Eren was sleeping like a rock. A snoring rock. A snoring, cuddly rock.

The brunet man took a look at the clock and his jaw dropped slightly, leaving his mouth open for flies to fly into it.

9:42 AM.

Had he really slept that long? His biorhythm was disappointing him. On work days his alarm would go off at 5:30 AM, so he would sleep till 7 AM often, sometimes even till 7:30 AM.

Levi must be already working around the house, explaining his absence in the bed.

Quickly, he sat up straight and immediately regretted doing so, as he felt like vomiting all over the bedsheets. “Argh, fuck”, he growled, supporting his head with one day and laying the other on his chest as if to stop his sickness from happening.

Additionally, he felt dizzy, so yes, this must indeed be a hangover.

But why had he been drinking?

Eren tried to remember the happenings from the prior evening, from last night, from anything that happened before he woke up in a pool of his own grease.

There had been a party. Levi had tidied his tie, teasing him about him still not being able to do it without help, after that they entered a building. A school’s gym.

Right! They went to their class reunion. Class of 2009, graduated in June ‘09.

The more he tried to remember the more his head started to hurt, so he gave up. Levi would tell him what happened for sure.

His only concern was that he had been, you know, too wasted. Eren knew his limit, but when the mood was good, everybody had fun… a few more glasses crept their way into his hand.

Asking his fiance about the evening was apparently the best choice to gain more informations as his last two brain cells were currently occupied with hammering against the walls of his skull.

Eren did not bother putting on a new shirt or combing his hair before he went downstairs, every step creating an unbearable sound. He should have stayed in bed. It had been quiet there.

When he entered the kitchen, his lover was sitting at the table, reading the newspaper and sipping his tea quietly. His grey eyes caught Eren’s staring gaze, but instead of longing there any longer, he went back to reading.

No ‘Good morning, honey bee’. No morning kiss.

Eren had fucked up and he didn’t even remember it.

Yet there was a glass of water along with some pills - Aspirin - next to it on the wooden table, in front of his seat as if it had been placed there just for him. The smell of freshly made coffee hit his nose, seducing him with the tasty scent of waking up properly.

And the worst of all, there was evening a plate with bacon and eggs, even with a golden-baked waffle, just the way Eren liked it.

“Good morning”, he grumbled with great caution and sat down on his chair, before downing the headache-fighting gift with water.

Levi only nodded, consumed more of his tea and found this one particular article especially interesting.

It would have been useless trying to start a normal conversation with his fiance, so Eren cut straight to the point. “How drunk was I?”, he asked while dipping the tea spoon into his “Boyfriend #1” mug.

Oh wow, the guilt washing over him was killing him.

“I don’t know exactly what was the most significant thing you did yesterday that would indicate that you were drunk as fuck, so I’ll just tell you what happened.”

Levi’s calm and deep voice would usually make Eren feel comfortable and home, but the ice hidden as an undertone behind a newspaper frightened him for a second.

“The whole class was there and it was actually quite enjoyable. Until you decided to mess with Jean and made a stupid bet that you could chug down a whole vodka bottle this evening. Obviously, you drank it. Jean as well, but Mikasa dealt with him quite well after that. Probably whooped his horse arse at home. Anyway, you talked loudly and talked shit. At some point you even stripped but before anybody could see that pathetic excuse of a underwear, I pulled you aside - why do you even have those? I thought you threw them away after the doctor appointment. Fucking Spongebob Squarepants.” He made a pause as if to remember where he had stopped telling about the past evening and sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose while doing so. “Ah yes. We argued, you yelled at me and suddenly you just flat out admitted ‘The diamond in your engagement ring is fake’ in such a volume everybody heard it. Everybody.”

Oh god. Eren was a god-damn asshole. His cheeks were red in embarrassment, tinting his cheeks as well, but the look of guilt had taken over his features as well. He was ashamed of himself.

Levi must have hated him, blurring out such a thing in public.

“I would not have minded if you had told me about it before. I couldn’t care less. But in front of all these people? The people we know since what, grade 9? Some even since grade 5.” He shook his head and placed the newspaper folded on the table.

Eren hid his face in his hands, rubbing it and trying to wash his soul clean. “Fuck. Babe, I’m so sorry. I- I should not have drunk so much. Sorry, shit. I’m a bastard.” He made eye contact with Levi who stared at him with crossed arms. “Will you forgive me? I’ll do everything you say, I promise I’m sorry. I mean it.”

Grey eyes wandered over his fiance’s appearance. “Shower yourself. You reek of alcohol and sweat. And then we’ll talk.” He stood up, but Eren grabbed his hand and pulled him to his side, onto his lap with little resistance.

He pressed his kiss onto the pale cheek and tangled him in his arms. “I love you. Sorry for being a troublemaker all the time.” Eren’s fingers danced across his lover’s abdomen before taking his hands into his. “I’ll get you a real one”, he whispered.

“Eren, stop”, Levi demanded suddenly and turned around to face his fiance. “I don’t care. I don’t need some emerald to show how much you love me. A plastic ring from a bubblegum machine would have been just as sufficient.”

With a confused grin, the brunet man asked, “Then… then why are you mad over the ring?”

“I’m not mad over the ring. I know that you had spent all your money on the vacation, stupid. It’s the fact that you’re always such an idiot.” Levi’s lips met Eren’s for a affectionate second and his furrowed eyebrows softened. “But seems like I should have said ‘no’ when I had the chance because I don’t think I’ll be able to let go. I love you, too.”

“Even if you were able to, I won’t. You are the only one who can deal with me, honey.”

Levi sighed once more, but not in annoyance, and Eren chuckled.

#soapyyy i hope you enjoyed!!#i couldnt stop writing this lmao #angry levi is funny #i hope there arent too many errors?? i checked but im still insecure so sorry for errors!!#ereri #prompt request #drabble #my writing #prompt #snk #request

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pisati · 5 years

Text

I did write some comments on your post, but that was an initial reaction after one read-through, and of course it was a lot to take in. I went to my guitar lesson, ate a little bit, dicked around for a bit, and read it through again. what’s on my mind is too much for character-limited replies so I figured I’d just write a post.

if you’re serious that the amount of stuff you told me is maybe 10% of all the things her parents did, then... holy shit, dude. it’s hard to imagine anyone growing up with that and not being completely brainwashed. I feel for her daughter too. hopefully once she gets her degree and gets a job she can get away from that bullshit. most people, I think, are reasonably paranoid about the possible threats that come from strangers on the internet, but that’s just extreme. the scottish mafia??? is that even a thing?? I’ve never even. heard of that, lmao. jesus.

I want to say when the internet was in its infancy, a lot of scammers saw it as an opportunity. that’s where the whole Nigerian prince thing and all that came about. first rule of the internet was not to trust anyone. no personal information, to anyone, ever. the thing is, the internet has changed drastically since then. social media has revolutionized the way everyday people use the internet, and very, very many everyday people use it. the chances you’re likely to run into a normal person just like yourself vs. a scam artist today are much, much higher than they were even a decade ago. some people don’t want to accept that things have changed. I mentioned my Brazilian friends on your post; my mom was pretty nervous at first when I told her about them. I met them just before I graduated high school, so I was 17. I actually was on Omegle (which was WAY worse than tumblr or twitter???) and I talked to a kid named Matia. he was a few years younger than me but his english was very good and he was a cool kid. we followed each other on twitter, and then his friends saw and a bunch of them followed me, asking him “quem é essa gringa matia??”-- who’s this foreign girl? they’d talk to me in english about music and ask me what it was like in the US; they were fascinated. they affectionately nicknamed me ‘gringa’; in Brazil it doesn’t have the same negative connotations as it can in Spanish-speaking countries; it literally means ‘foreginer’. I learned Portuguese inadvertently just from reading all the tweets they posted. they’d mess with me and tweet in slang and typo-ed Portuguese so I couldn’t google translate it, but when I learned enough Portuguese and read back on their old tweets, I had a good laugh because it was all stuff like “lol let’s mess with her so she can’t translate it, that’ll be so funny!” and they knew I’d get all frustrated because I didn’t know what it said, lol. like, just pure, innocent interactions between strangers on the internet. I had a ton of fun with it. and Portuguese even ended up being my best language, because I learned it not only in natural, informal contexts (rather than “hello, how are you?”), but I learned it through drunken slang and intentional typos and a whole assload of cursing, lmao.

I was nervous to tell my mom about it; I knew how she’d react. there was no way to tell her about all the jokes and conversations and how all of it was harmless. how I just knew they were real people like me (they were all around my age too). she didn’t want me to study abroad there, when I brought it up, or at least... if I did, she’d rather I’d have picked somewhere in Europe instead. I told her I’d skyped with my friend David, and once I even mailed him a package with an old shirt of mine (because I’d tweeted about how I had this IUP shirt and once I transferred I knew I wasn’t gonna wear it anymore, but I didn’t want to donate it; he said he wanted it and I was like well if you’re serious lol). I skyped another friend Guilherme once because he said he could help with an assignment I had for researching the grammar of non-native speakers of english, or something like that. she warmed up after a while. I think she realized that, hey, most normal people are also on the internet now. and there’s normal people in other countries, lol. but like. people in that generation are from a different era of information-sharing. it’s a totally different perspective. and if you’re the kind of person who worries entirely too much... well, you’ve seen what can happen.

you said it in your other post too (which, first of all, I’m really proud of you for opening up, as painful as I’m sure all this is, and second of all, I’m honored that you’re comfortable enough to share with me)... the thing about sounding ‘weak’ and ‘pathetic’. and... maybe it does feel like that. but given the circumstances? I think reacting like that is perfectly normal. I’m sure you know, but this kind of situation, all the things that happened... none of that is normal. you had a perfectly normal reaction to seriously abnormal events. it’s only natural to want to know why. when you love someone so much and think they love you too, and have your whole perception of the world turned on its head... it’s absolutely devastating. you don’t want to let it go. what else is there? you didn’t picture it vanishing so suddenly, and you feel like that’s it.

I just want you to know, I don’t see weak or pathetic. I see someone very much like myself. who genuinely cares and feels so intensely and deeply and is sometimes even afraid of being too much. a lot of people don’t understand that we have pure intentions. they don’t understand how we feel because they don’t have that depth.

anyway, I understand a little better how you feel about it. a lot of it wasn’t her fault; she pretty much had a gun to her head. or, multiple, depending how you want to look at it. she grew up with that bullshit. you said it wasn’t even the first time something like that happened to her. it’s really, really hard to defend yourself or stand up for yourself when that’s what you know. when that’s your family, who is supporting you and your daughter, and threatens to kick you out if you follow your own will. she was playing a losing game. it made me a little sad to read how hard you tried to make it work, when clearly you were being pushed away, but I understand, man. I’ve done the same thing. you want so badly to make it work, you feel like there’s always a way you can. the most devastating part of it all is realizing you can’t. and it can’t be fixed.

the thing that puzzles me, though, and please tell me if I cross a line here. I really don’t want to. I respect your feelings and I understand that your relationship with her lasted a long time; there’s so much packed into that time. I’ve told you a lot of the shitty parts of my relationship with A, and you’ve wondered why I didn’t kick him to the curb; I didn’t tell you about all the good parts there were too. I know how complicated and difficult those things can be. despite how much they hurt you, how they did it, how much more pain you were in because of what they did than anything you could ever do to them... you still care about them. a lot.

I just... I guess I’m not 100% clear on the purpose she serves in your life at this point. of course you care about her. it’s only natural to, when they’re your best friend. you know so much about them and they know so much about you and you’ve shared so many good things and you just enjoy them as a person. god, I even remember writing some sappy poem or blog post or something about how, even after everything, A could have stabbed me in the gut and I would have apologized for getting my blood on him. but he also did more damage to me than anyone ever has. I realized this past summer (that’s a story for another time) with such sudden, horrible clarity that I burst out sobbing while I was driving home on the highway; what he did was irredeemable. there was nothing he could do to fix it. I had done everything I knew how to do to even stay his friend, and I finally told myself that it was either I continue to pursue this and make myself miserable and make him miserable (because he was allowed to have feelings for whoever he wanted; me getting upset over every new one would hurt him too), or I could just. let go. finally. and that was not a decision I ever wanted to face. I put it off for so long. I told myself there could always be a way to fix it. but it always came down to him putting in the effort. he was my best friend. he knew me better than anyone. a lot of the things you said about M, I’ve said about A. I’ve never been able to be that close to anyone before; he’d seen much more of me than I was comfortable showing anyone else. I didn’t know if I’d be able to be that close to anyone else. making the decision to let go of the one person I was that close to was the hardest thing I had to do this past year, right up there with having to talk to the team from the cremation place not 15 minutes after learning my dad was dead and watching them take him away in a body bag.

anyway, I guess what I’m getting at is... you can still love her, and still care deeply about her, but also keep her in the past. this is just my conjecture, given that I don’t know anything about your relationship now, but it seems to me like trying to keep her in your life is not beneficial to either of you. I know you said you don’t keep people around based on the purpose they serve in your life, and that’s a good philosophy to have, for sure. I’m not arguing that at all. but I think there’s a lesson to take from Marie Kondo here (ha); when something has served its purpose in your life, you should understand when it’s time to let it go. thank it for all it brought to you, all it did for you, of course; there’s apparently a lot of Shinto traditional beliefs that influenced her organization philosophy that would be really interesting to read about. but anyway I don’t think it just applies to the physical clutter we all accumulate in our homes. we weigh ourselves down with all the things we keep. especially those that don’t ~spark joy~, lol. if she’s really as brisk with you as you say... do you think she would be bothered if you disappeared as well?

I know it’s never just that easy. I made that decision, and then later I learned that A had a whole clusterfuck of mental illnesses that he wasn’t even aware he had. it was bad. worse than he thought. but once he finally got into therapy and started journaling his moods, it became more obvious. he realized a lot of how he treated me came from that. when he told me, I felt just a tiny bit of my resolve crumble. how could I drop him like that, when he was clearly struggling and needed something stable? even just a good friend, who was patient and understanding, like I’ve always tried to be? I’m not the only friend he has, of course. he has plenty of people around. I don’t have to go back to trying so hard if I don’t want to, but I also felt like I couldn’t just abandon him. I realized it wasn’t entirely his fault. he still did what he did knowingly, he still knew how it hurt me, but it still wasn’t entirely his fault. I know you’ve seen that in M as well. it’s so complicated, I know.

I’m not trying to convince you of anything. maybe just trying to get you to think about it another way. you’ve got a lot of pain that you’ve buried and try your hardest not to deal with. I’ve done it too. get to it when we get to it, except we hope we never have to. but it makes healing so hard when we don’t address it and subsequently deal with it. I wonder if you think it’s possible to heal the way you hope to and also keep her in your life. I’m sure in some way it is, but I wonder how you picture that possible future. I’m still trying to work that out for myself, with my situation.

anyway, I really do appreciate you taking the time to help me understand your demons better. and... if it means anything, I don’t see you as broken. even if that’s how you feel. I mean, shit. all of that is enough to break anyone. I’ve never even been in a relationship, let alone had one that got to the marriage-talk, engagement-ring, wedding-dress, baby-name point. for someone that feels as intensely as we do, no less... I can only imagine. I see how the innocence, so to speak, was ripped from your hands. I understand how you feel changed by it. I see the darkness in you that I’ve seen in myself, but I see the light there too. you need to feel safe so that light has time to heal and grow again.

#and like sorry for talking about myself and my experiences so much LOL #just trying to use examples to illustrate my line of thinking

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language-rxgers · 6 years

Text

Grease Lightning (Bucky x Reader High School!AU)- Part 3

Summary: It’s opening night of the production, meaning you’ll be seeing Bucky for the second time. You talk some more and get to know more about the kind of guy Bucky’s like.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Reader, Natasha Romanoff, Maria Hill, Bruce Banner (mentioned), Steve Rogers (mentioned)

Warnings: none, well a lil’ bit of inner teen turmoil

Word Count: 1914

masterlist

part 1 / part 2 / part 4 / part 5

You tapped your toes in anticipation for Bucky to arrive. It was opening night and you couldn’t clear your mind of the looming pressure to make Bucky look great- well, more so than he usually did. He was the lead in the play, so you had no room to mess anything up. You were also nervous and excited to see him again. While you felt you had done fairly well during the dress rehearsal, you really hoped you wouldn’t make a fool of yourself in front of Bucky tonight. After really meeting him and getting a small glimpse of the kind of person he was, you felt even more anxious about seeing him this time, now that you knew he was far from the pretentious jock you’d tried to make him out to be in your mind.

You imagined possible conversations you might have with him tonight as you did his makeup, if he was even in the mood to talk. Maybe he really didn’t want to talk with you. Your mind flashed to the conversation the two of you’d shared during the dress rehearsal, and you felt a swell of regret at all of the imposing questions you’d asked him. Sure, he’d been easy and pleasant to talk to- much more so than you’d expected- but maybe he was just being polite and you’d actually made him uncomfortable. Okay, maybe you’ll just do his makeup and hair and nothing else. Just stay outta the way and let him prepare for his performance.

You wiped your palms on your jeans restlessly, suddenly feeling very thirsty. You grabbed your water bottle, chugging it until it was empty. You tossed the bottle in the recycling, then turned around to see a head of shaggy dark hair lounging in the chair at your station. Your stomach flipped and you took a breath to calm your racing heart. “Bucky, hey,” you managed out, pleased with how steady your voice had been. Bucky’s soft eyes met yours, and his face split into a wide grin.

“Hey, (Y/N), how’s it been?”

“Not bad. You? Excited for tonight?” Bucky chuckled shyly, shrugging.

“I’m nervous,” he admitted. You let out a soft breath.

“I know you’ll do great,” you reassured him. You swallowed thickly at the grateful smile he gave you. You cleared your throat, quickly looking away. You tried to put on your professional face, suddenly becoming very interested in the makeup supplies you’d already gathered at our station. “Alrighty, well let’s get started.” You handed him the paper towel to put over his costume, avoiding his gaze as you busied yourself with applying facial cleanser to a cotton pad. “You mind?” You asked quietly as you held up the pad. He shook his head no, and you began wiping it over his skin.

“So what’s new with you?” He asked. You shrugged.

“Um, not very much, I guess. How about you?” You threw away the pad and began applying the foundation.

“Same for me. Hey, I realized I never really asked you anything about yourself last time. I just talked about myself the whole time. What do you like to do outside of hair and makeup?” Your hand’s movements jerked in surprise at his question. Stupid Bucky, can’t even pretend to be a jerk for a second?

“U-uh, I don’t really know. I’m not very interesting,” you said lamely.

“Oh, come on. I’ve seen your art in the yearbook. You’re really, really good. Do you like doing that kinda stuff?” God, the son of a bitch won’t stop. You felt yourself getting annoyed at the fact that he was being so nice and… interested in you. I mean, the formalities could have stopped at ‘how are you’, but now he’s making a genuine effort. You’d never had someone work so hard to talk to you. You didn’t know how to react.

“Um, yeah, I like it. It’s not like I could make a career out of it or anything, but it’s a nice hobby…”

“Steve’s tried teaching a few times, but I can’t draw for shit. I wish I could, but I guess it’s something you either have or you don’t, huh?” He let out a chuckle. “And I was serious, you’re really good. I mean, I only know what I’ve seen in the yearbook and what Steve’s told me, but you’re really talented.”

You felt the heat radiating from your cheeks in waves. “Oh, uh- thanks. That’s really nice of you to say. Although, I never knew Steve talked about me to his other friends.” Bucky’s eyes widened slightly before casting down to his lap.

“Oh, yeah, uh, I think it must’ve come up in a conversation or something…” Was it you, or were his ears a little red? Probably just you. You put away the foundation and grabbed the eyeliner pencil. You held it up, giving him a slight grimace.

“Sorry to have to do this again.” Bucky laughed.

“You know, it wasn’t actually that bad with you doing it.” He leaned back and closed his eyes in preparation. "Can we do the three count thing again, though? That was good.” You said yes and bent forward. You rested the heel of your hand on his cheek, eyeliner hovering over his eye.

“Okay, when you’re ready.” Bucky opened his eye, looking up at the ceiling. You brought the pencil to his eye gently. “One,” you began to trace. “Two,” you were just about finished, working swiftly. “Three.” You pulled away, letting Bucky blink a few times.

He grabbed a mirror from the table to look. “That was really good. Do you need to go again?” You shook your head.

“No, looks great. We can do the other one.” You repeated the process on his other eye, once again finishing in one go.

“Wow, that was really smooth. Go team!” Bucky held up a fist, which you bumped with your own. You laughed at his antics. You applied a little bit of blush and neutral lipstick before switching to his hair.

As you combed through the soft locks, you could see Bucky’s head leaning into your touch. You tried not to make anything of it as you worked out the knots as gently as you could, then grabbed the bottle of gel. “So what shows do you like to watch?” Bucky asked as you squeezed some gel into your palm. You hesitated.

“Uh, I dunno. A little bit of everything. I like stuff like Brooklyn 99 and FRIENDS, and my friend and I have been watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I don’t know. There’s a lot of other ones I can’t think of right now,” you laughed awkwardly.

“Oh, man, I love those shows! Well, I haven’t seen Buffy, but my ma loves it. But the other ones are my jam!” You smiled affectionately at Bucky’s animated response. “Do you watch The Office?”

“I love The Office!” You expressed. The two of you continued a lively discussion of favourite shows, characters and movies as you continued to style Bucky’s hair. You couldn’t believe how easy it was to talk to him. Once you had both been coaxed out of your shells, it was like you’d known him forever. You got to see a side of Bucky that you never expected. He was funny and personable, but could also be shy in some aspects, like when he confessed his guilty pleasure movie was Pretty in Pink. It was weird to think you’d only really spoken to each other on two occasions- the dress rehearsal and now- but you really liked it. You didn’t want to stop. You knew you’ never get the chance to talk to him like this again after all the shows were done, so you were going to revel in the next two days, having him to yourself. You knew it was selfish, but when it was just you and him, you didn’t feel nervous like you would if he was standing with his friends. You didn’t feel intimidated or like you didn’t belong there, talking to him. You knew that would change when all this was over. Sure he was a nice guy, but realistically, he was talking to you because there was nothing else to do while he was sitting in that chair getting his hair done. As soon as he wasn’t obligated to, he’d go back to his friends, and you to yours. You couldn’t expect the two of you to suddenly be besties; it would be foolish and pathetic to do so. You two weren’t actually friends of anything more than that. It was no one’s fault; that was just the way it was.

“… eventually I just crumpled up the whole page and tossed it. I mean, I’d already erased and redrawn the damn hand so many times I’d worn through the paper, so I figured I might as well just give up. Meanwhile, Steve’s there, finishing up this masterpiece, like freaking Leonardo DiCaprio or something.” Bucky threw his hands up in exasperation. “Wait, that’s not right.” You bit your lip to keep from laughing. “Shit, I meant Leonardo DaVinci. That’s embarrassing…” You chuckled.

“I do that all the time,” you reassured him. You fixed his ducktail one last time before walking around to face him. Like before, you pulled a lock of hair from the style and curled it around your finger before letting it fall against his forehead. “All done.”

“Already?” Bucky’s shoulders seemed to slump slightly. You nodded.

“Barnes, you ready? We need to fit you for the mic!” Ms. Hill called into the room. Bucky rubbed his hands on his *distracting* denim-clad thighs before pushing himself up and out of his chair.

Bucky licked his lips as he faced you. “Thanks again, everything looks great. Like always,” he added. You nodded again, rubbing the back of your neck to try to calm the heat in your cheeks.

“No problem. Uh, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow night for the next performance?”

Bucky shoved his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, definitely.”

“Barnes!” Ms. Hill called again. “Can you please hurry up, we’ve got a show to get started with.”

“Sorry, I’m keeping you. Um, break a leg,” you gave him a lame half-wave before turning around to start cleaning up your station.

Nat was once again cleaning her own station next to you, though she was now leaning against the table, looking behind you. “Still looking at you,” she sang. “Looking, looking, and…”

“Bucky, come on! What the hell are you staring at?” Ms. Hill’s exasperated tone rang through the room again. Your entire body was radiating heat.

“Oh look, now he’s in trouble. He turning around. He’s leaving. Oh! He just looked back for like a second. He’s smiling- oh, shit, he sees me watching him.” Nat lifted a hand and waved. “He’s red, and- oh, now he’s gone.”

“Thanks for your little made up commentary,” you said flatly. You could only see the tip of your nose, but it was glowing with heat. You threw out your garbage and put away the makeup. “Very entertaining.”

“You think I was making that shit up?” Nat scoffed. You gave her a look.

“Come on, Nat, it’s not like that. When in the history of reality has something ever turned into anything from a girl doing a cute guy’s hair and makeup for a play?” Nat clicked her tongue.

“I’ll answer that after my date with Bruce on Saturday night.”

part 1 / part 2 / part 4 / part 5

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