Them : “I have NPD/ BPD / im a sociopath so u probs dont wanna date me”

Meanwhile me

not me trying to google what the *actual* difference between npd and aspd and half the google results being essentially “aspd is more evil”

in case anyone is curious the difference seems to be that people with aspd tend not to care what others think of them while people with npd tend to greatly value what others think of them

Well, since Joker 2 is coming out, expect to see a lot of saneism thrown around by some people.

Yet again, reminder to anyone who experiences psychosis, delusions, intrusive thoughts, a lack of empathy, unstable moods, odd behaviours, or literally any other symptom of mental illness, that you're not evil. Thought crime isn't real, and you're not to blame for having trauma or different reactions to traumatic things, whatever happened to make you have a mental illness -whether you were born with it or developed it- is NOT your fault. Disability is not a symbol of moral failing and it does not affect your worth as an individual.

Wish people stopped making us their quirky brand of horror and started letting us tell them about the horrors we are forced to experience.

people act like psychopaths are these beasts in society coming to get you, meanwhile in reality i’d rather never have to go near another human being again

"mental illness advocates" when they see someone with a mental illness they dont like (theyre gonna stigmatize it)

Friendship and ASPD

In a cluster b server I’m in, someone asked about how ASPD impacts friendships and I was encouraged to cross post my response on here so here we go.

Firstly, I’m going to go through how I figured out friendship and how to make it work for me starting from my lowest functioning point to where I am now.

So to begin with, I had no true circles. I floated between groups of people who could give me what I wanted in that moment and just manipulated them into giving it to me if my request alone was not satisfactory. Sometimes all I wanted was social camouflage, sometimes i wanted money or food or a distraction. It was arbitrary and there was no real long term plan - at least, when i was no longer in an environment where long term strategies were vital.

Eventually, as I started working on my recovery, I managed to maintain relationships that were exclusively online. The convenience in putting away my laptop and my social obligations disappearing along with it was immensely helpful and it gave me a way of experimenting with being a little more open and a little more attached that had no Real Life repercussions. It was still transactional, all my relationships still are to this day, but they started becoming less Obviously transactional. I was still getting physical, tangible stuff from people, but I was also getting support, a safe space to figure out how to relate to my emotions, and somewhere to practice empathy and other social skills like it. There was a lot of trial and error but when I ruined something in one space I could just start again somewhere else and not have to worry about the two overlapping.

Now that I am Recovered™️ sort of, I’ve developed Exceptions, who have at some point shown that they are trustworthy and nonjudgemental and understand the antisocial side of my personality and are happy to help me work around it. My symptoms sort of change around them. I don’t have remorse but with Exceptions I will feel a kind of visceral disgust directed at myself for how I could have hurt them like that and that will quite often spark a narc crash.

I decided a long time ago what I didn’t want to be, so throughout the entire process I was watching for patterns of behaviour that were harmful for the sake of being harmful. I created a quite intricate set of rules that I couldn’t loophole my way out of and that was very much an important factor in how I continued to develop my skills and ability to interact and maintain relationships.

I am still bad at a lot of stuff though. I don’t reach out to people, I never start conversations so a lot of people just disappear until I’m reminded of them. I’m also awful at vocalising appreciation and while I know logically that people like to help their friends, I constantly have an internal debate about whether I am taking advantage of people I don’t want to be taking advantage of (given that taking advantage of people tends to make them pissed off eventually). And there are days where I don’t want to be around anyone at all and thats ok. It’s better for me to let myself be by myself than to force myself to interact with people when I really dont want to.

Recognising where I lack skills and reflexes prosocials have has been a skill in and of itself and it took a long time to develop it. But it’s been worth it to me, I’m now able to experience and enjoy so many aspects of life I thought weren’t meant for me.

And I’m very smug about being able to get it despite it being implied I never would.

Would it not be cool if we could have a post with none ableist tips for how to navigate life with NPD and/or ASPD.

So give me your best tips on how to live with ASPD and/or NPD.

(narc abuse truthers will be banned on sight.)

I recently realized I keep a mental profile on everyone I meet, and I think that’s the reason why I was able to pass as empathetic for so many years. It was always just pattern recognition. It’s kinda wild how far that alone can take you in terms of people skills. I’ve learned what most human beings have in common. I learned what general rules to follow to keep most strangers happy with me. I will eventually learn what your unique differences are, and my ability to please you will continue to grow in its accuracy as I get to know you better.

Some may call it flattery, but I call it an adaptation. It’s the closest to “normal” I’m ever going to get in the public eye, and I’d rather others be flattered than offended.

SOCIOPATH

[PT: sociopath. /ENDPT]

— a flag for people who reclaim the term sociopath. exclusive to pwaspd regardless of diagnostic status.

— based off of aspdsolace's aspd flag, it's essentially a color adjusted version of it

aspd culture is either being demonized for your disorder or fetishized for it.

I always feel you on a spiritual level in that we just love a fictonal feral man with a touch of sociopathic tendencies 🍓🍓

strawberry!!!!! HAHAHAHA seriously i can always count on you to understand me and my taste in fictional men ( ˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈♡)

I don’t know how to say this properly (this is a vent post I guess) so feel free to correct me, but

If someone says they know enough about “sociopathy” then that kinda shows they know nothing about “sociopathy”.

Cuz why the fuck are they still saying “sociopath”, huh?

Also being abused by a “narcissist” and “sociopath” doesn’t give anyone a free pass on using diagnoses as an insult (Doesn’t that make it a slur?)

I will also doubt the validity of that claim.

you think youve served your time as the child of parents whose primary method of bonding with each other was screaming and throwing things and then you move into an apartment where your neighbours do the same goddamn thing

a lot of people’s advocacy for ASPD and NPD is conditional and it shows.

people advocate for ASPD and NPD havers, rightly saying that these conditions don’t make anyone inherently manipulative, aggressive, mean, etc. and it’s good to educate people on that because it’s true, not everyone with these conditions are those things.

but you can’t just advocate for the people who don’t fit those stereotypes.

what about those of us who do?

your advocacy for us can’t be under the conditions that we aren’t the stereotypical embodiments of our disorders.

it’s good to educate people on the fact that not everyone is like this, because that is true. but you also must simultaneously be supportive of those who are these things and advocate for the fact that those of us who do fit stereotypes are also deserving of love and support.

Psychoplatonic

first of all, I don't wanna offend anyone so don't take my post as an offense

Psychoplatonic describes a psychopath who feels platonic love and wants to make friends, like anyone.

these individuals refuse the idea that a psychopath doesn't feel love!

This is a special flag for my friend, and whoever wants to use it ❤

Colors: pink love, yellow friendship, black and red represent antisociality, neurodivergent symbol because psychopathy is a neurodivergence, gradient colors are just for a better design for the flag.

WOW TUMBLR ARE YOU AGAINST ME TOO

BUILD TRUST WITH A PROFESSIONAL SYSTEM ADVERTISEMENT

AS IF THIS ISN'T THE EXACT FUCKING THING I AM TRIGGERED AND THE MOST DAMAGED BY EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN DAY I'M AWAKE

DO YOU WANT ME TO DELETE MY ACCOUNT AND STOP USING TUMBLR? IS THAT WHAT WE'VE COME TO? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU EVEN WANT ANYMORE I CAN'T BE HERE I CAN'T FUCKING BE ANYWHERE

that's it