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seuonji · 8 months

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彡 things they left with you before leaving for tour.

notes ๑ gift giving! headcanons. reader and svt member does not live together!

genre ๑ fluff

warnings ๑ none

word count ๑ 1k

from aya: please reblog if you enjoyed! feedback is always appreciated<3

seungcheol left you the key to his home.

you’re free to go there whenever you want but he mainly gave it so that you have access to his closet!! it’s also to allow you to see kkuma.

whenever you’re there you always send him a selfie to show how the house is doing. he especially loves the photos that contains you and kkuma on his bed.

yn: [photo attachment]

yn: i changed kkuma’s hairpin today, doesn’t she look cute?

cheol: you both look adorable♡

jeonghan left you tons of his oversized shirts.

tons as in it could probably last you until he comes back. but he leaves the ones that hold some type of meaning.

he’d totally give you a whole presentation while unpacking the clothes on why he’s giving it to you.

he left you the shirt that he wore on your first date. he left you another shirt that you complimented. another one he left was one that you described as, ‘looks very comfortable.’ another was in your favourite colour while another was in your least favourite colour,, he asked you to send him photos of you specifically in that one.

he gave them with the intention that though he’s not there, you won’t feel alone at night.

he loves it when he calls and sees you wearing them!

joshua left you countless of letters he wrote.

just in case he’s not on his phone enough, to keep his presence with you, he wrote different letters. one for you to read when you’re sad, one for when you felt doubtful, another for when you felt scared.

he wrote letters for any feeling you may feel while he’s gone whether it was sorrow, anger or joy.

one day you were missing him, a lot. so you opened the letter that had ‘read when you feel alone.’ written on it.

‘yn, you’re feeling alone? cause im not there, right( ˊ̱uˋ̱ )?‘ he joked with you even through writing. ‘i know it’s a long wait but i’ll be back soon and we’ll be in bed watching movies together. i’m always thinking about you. i may not be one call away because…what if i’m on stage? but you’re still my number one priority, i hope you know that.’

it’s just long texts of reassurance that he loves you and suggestions of things you can do while you wait for him and honestly, as you read the letters, the more it felt like he was actually there.

jun left you a polaroid.

he aswell provided the films but the films were the same amount as the number of days he’d be gone.

he asked you take a picture of something everyday whether it was the scenery or something you were doing. you could either label them or keep it in a photo card binder. he wants you to talk about it with him when he comes back.

total plus if you like journaling/photography!!

soonyoung left you a heart locket necklace.

it had funny pictures of you and him on one side and the other side had a picture of you two cuddling.

he has a matching one of course! his one has so many scratches because of how much he kept opening it.

notably, he left you a cute tiger plush that was almost your size.

“think of him as if he’s me.”

“that’s weird youngie…”

idk why but initially i imagined he’d leave you a body pillow with him printed on it.

wonwoo left you his console so that you can help him keep up with his games. just kidding.

if you like reading, he definitely leaves you some books he’s collected over the years. he’d even buy books that are of your taste if his isn’t your style. he gave it so that you’d have something to preoccupy your time.

if you aren’t too into reading, he left you things that supports the hobbies you do. if you like art, he buys you paint, if you like knitting he’d buy you yarn. he finds joy in your passion.

jihoon left you a usb filled with movies and shows on it. he even provided snacks!

he loved hearing your opinions about shows/movies he liked. since you two were going to be apart, he thought you’d have more time to watch them.

when you did watch the said movie/show, he’d instantly call and listen to your opinions intently. he might end up falling for you all over again! but also it could end up in an endless banter—

“what did you think of that character?“ he asked excitedly but there was a touch of tiredness in his voice.

“they were okay,” you casually answered.

“just okay!?” suddenly the tiredness was gone.

“i said what i said!”

seokmin left you a jar filled with origami hearts, cranes, airplanes, stars and even some of your favourite animals.

as you unfold them, there’s small messages written in them. it had messages of affirmations to song/food/movie recommendations.

he looks forward to your response to the letter you opened that day.

“the one i opened today was a good one,” you said smiling.

“really, what’s wrong with the other ones? why aren’t they as good?” he asked in a whining tone.

“the one i opened yesterday said ‘listen to aju nice by seventeen.’” you recalled monotonously.

“what’s wrong with that?”

“anyways the one i opened today said to ‘eat pizza while thinking about me.’” you brushed off the previous topic.

“ah, that’s a good one, even i’m jealous.”

“you wrote it?”

“still, why would you have pizza without me…”

also, he made tons of it lasted even until he came back.

mingyu left you a cookbook of things he usually cooks for you.

the first few pages were your favourite meals hes cooked for you. they’re key parts are highlighted in your favourite colours and he even places in affirmations in free spaces. the middle pages are random meals you don’t necessarily like but,, he needed to fill in the pages. the last few pages are your favourite deserts!

minghao left you the experience of having permanent bracelets with someone.

he brought you to the store and you got a bracelet in his in his favourite colour as he got one with yours. you both spent hours just admiring the way it shined and he couldn’t stop taking pictures of it.

“now, no matter the distance, you’ll still have a piece of me that’s always with you,” he said.

seungkwan left you a self care pack.

there was skincare products, your favourite snacks and cds of your favourite films. they were each labelled with tags of why he gave those specific items.

‘you’ve always liked these, enjoy them.’ labelled on the snacks.

‘please use this, take care of your skin okay?’ labelled on the skincare.

‘don’t get too bored just cause im not there.” labelled on the cds

it’s as if he was taking care of you without because there.

vernon left you a pet fish (?)

questionable but at least you’re not completely alone. also he got consent before he bought it so, it was okay. but he also left you some of his jackets and beanies but if it was summer he’d leave you baseball caps. yknow, the sensible gifts.

it’s the thought that counts!

whenever he gets the time he’d call you to check on the fish.

and you as well, of course.

chan left you a box full of snacks.

he’s bringing the same snacks with him in his bag. he plans to call you every night so you two can talk about your day while eating the same snacks so that it seems like you two are together.

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hearts4chriss · 2 months

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Teachers pet.

CollegeProfessor!Matt x CollegeStudent! black fem!

Prompt: in which you have a crush on ur teacher, yet he has a thing for you no matter how wrong it was, and he notices your little movements in class to get his attention, one day it pushes him over the edge and he teaches you a lesson for it, not with a bad grade

“I know I’m young but, my mind is well beyond my years”. - teachers pet by Melanie Martinez

Contains: teasing, loads of suggestive touching, neck sucking, spanking, desk sex!, backshots, m!oral receiving, degrading, dumification, f!oral receiving, mentions of Matt having a huge cock, overstimulation, pet names, HELLA dirty talk, choking, hair pulling, kissing, mentions of reader w fat ass, fantazing like this. HEAVYYY AFTERCARE

a/n: this one’s dirty as hell😭😭

Fuck.

I was in class sitting next to one of my friends trying my very hardest to focus on this lecture of business and finance 2, my teacher Matthew Sturniolo.

He made basically impossible, the all black pants with his sleeves rolled up and top buttons undone. And fuck those tattoos.

The way Matt’s rings would sit on his fingers, I’d desire for them to be on me and inside me.

He was undeniably attractive, and he knows that he is, he’s well aware of the affect he has on me, the same smirk he’d give me as he glanced around the class making sure we payed attention, whenever I was working and he’d whisper “you need any help, sweetheart?” His hot breath on my ear making my thighs close together.

Today was one of those days, I wanted to mess with him as I was well aware of what I could potentially make the 25 year old man feel.

I was in my dorm room with my roommate Anna @worldlxvlys as we were getting ready to head out to class.

I buttoned up my short sleeve white shirt with the red and navy plaid skirt just barely covering my ass as the thin pink material hugged my curves.

I slipped on my thigh length white socks with these stupid dress shoes putting my boho braids in a high ponytail.

I applied my lip gloss and soon enough I was ready to go just waiting for Anna.

“Girl let’s goooo”. I chuckled ushering her to the door and she rolled her eyes following suit.

“Let me guess you have Professor Sturniolo first period”. She nudged me playfully and I nodded

“Duh! That’s why I’m rushing you, so I can see that man”. I bite my finger mimicking a blowjob motion with my hands and she gasped slapping my shoulder as we walked up to the main hall.

Ur actually insane for that. She shook her head at me and I disagreed.

Soon after our chatters I made my way into my class.

The second she walked in I couldn’t help but let my eyes drift to her thighs, the way the thin white stockings cover her brown skin makes my pants tighten.

when she gave me that small smile, her lipgloss coating over her plump lips made me die to feel what they’d feel like on my cock.

When she turned to go to her desk, she bent down grabbing binder. Her skirt rose up making my cheeks turn a cherry shade as the thin pink material hugged the curves of her ass. I tried my hardest not to stare because she’s my student.

Of course she’s 8 minutes early.

I leaned back in my chair tilting my head back letting my mind wander.

oh fuck- you feel so good baby. I moaned as I thrusted deep inside her cunt, her legs shook against my desk as her nails clawed the front begging to cum for a 3rd time.

Please please- mm- let me cum I’ll be such a good girl I promise- she babbles as I lay a harsh smack on her ass and she jolts back against me.

should’ve thought about that before teasing me with that slutty skirt- I gripped her shoulder tightly thrusting harsher and quicker as he jaw dropped only producing whimpers and squeaks

I was stroking myself under the desk as low grunts flowed out my mouth just imagining this scenario.

She’s always do this shit on purpose. She never wore skirts this short unless I was teaching her that day.

Did she think I was clueless?

I’d been waiting for the right moment to bend her over and fuck the shit out of her, teach her her a lesson

The way she’d bite her lip at me as I was trying to teach, it all made sense she wanted to drive me crazy.

I threw my head back against my chair, completely forgetting she was in my class.

“Mr.Sturniolo are you- oh-“ my eyes widen when I turn around meeting him seeing his hand below the desk his cheeks turning a pink shade”

“Fuck just- shit I’m sorry sweetheart I can’t help myself around you-“ he mumbled groaning as his gaze met mine,- a wetness forming between my thighs.

“do you need my help?” I ask, realizing what I said I quickly turned my back and Matt let out a small laugh.

“I do actually, be a good girl for me and suck my cock yeah?” He smirks initiating for me to come over with 2 fingers and my throat tightens as I made my way to his desk.

I approach the side as he slides his chair out being met with his hand around his dick. Which was big.

hell the thickness of it was enough to make me squeeze my thighs together as well as the red tip along with the length. How was that supposed to fit in my mouth?

“What are you waiting for? Been dying to feel those lips on me all fucking semester”. Matt admits biting his bottom lip as I crawl on my hands and knees positing myself in front grabbing the base as he groans tilting his head back

I have his tip a few kitten licks making his hand gravitate towards my hair, the cool rings on my scalp before I started bobbing my head up and down.

“ah shit- feels so fucking good-“. He moaned watching me look so submissive below him, the sight of him alone in all black moaning my name turned me on so much more than It should’ve, and sucking him off was like a dream come true.

“Mmm fuck- ur such a good girl, helping ur professor out yeah?”. Matt shuddered pulling my braids slightly tighter and I nod as best I could before quickly resuming my actions, I had to make him cum in under 8 minutes.

“atta girl, keep going- gonna cum just watching you like this- sucking my cock like a little slut-“. His eyes flutter shut as I lick stripes up his dick, the veins on my tongue felt euphoric as well as hearing him sound like this just from me

“atta girl”, another thing he’d always call me, I wasn’t slow? No way he didn’t have maybe..have a thing for me. His student.

there was absolutely no doubt that I was a teachers pet. There was no other teacher I’d do this for, I’m not even failing his class I have an A-.

I felt him twitch in my throat, occasionally thrusting his hips tugging my hair.

“can i- fuck- fill ur pretty mouth up sweetheart?”. Matt pleads, almost as if the way he’s asking he wants to cum in my throat.

I tapped his thigh signaling he could and with that he came down my throat as I swallowed licking the excess from his dick.

“Was that okay Mr-“ I start off, slightly nervous because all I wanted was to make him feel good resulting in him laughing slightly.

“More than okay, you can call me Matt when I’m not teaching”. He gives me that signature sly smile that drives me up a wall helping me up as he fixed his pants and I began walking back to my seat.

As I watched her walk back, realizing how unbelievably sexy she looked in the skirt, a question filled my mind, biting lip watching her walk away.

“are you gonna behave today?” I said putting my belt back on, smirking slightly to see if she knew what I was talking about.

“What? I always behave”. I sit at my desk tilting my head to the side acting like a clueless puppy and he walks up placing his ringed hands on my desk staring down at me.

“If you consider wearing a skirt that short purposely bending over in front of me and giving me fuck me eyes, is behaving, I think your wrong honey”. He chuckles and my eyes widen as I bite my tongue. That’s was everything I was doing.

“So, if you don’t behave in class today, I might have to teach you a lesson sweetheart, you wouldn’t want that would you?”. His eyes pouring in my soul were captivating, almost immediately when those words left his lips I crossed my legs.

He tapped my shoulder going back to his desk and everyone started filing in the class and I let out a deep breath.

Nia @nicksmainbitch sat next to me and Scoots closer to me.

“Girl what’s tea, what happened?” She sat next to me and I side eyed Matt then opening my mouth showing her my throat and she gasped.

“NO F-“ she yelled before I shushed her seeing how he looked in my direction giving me a small wink making my stomach flutter.

“Ooo y’all nasty, I knew he liked you! Since the first fucking day, he’s been eyefucking you”. Nia whispered the last bit to me and tilted my head.

“Wait wait, how do you know? Tell me!”. I poke her teasingly and she laughs.

“Okay sooo….

August 31st Los Angeles California,

University of Southern California

somehow me and Nia applied for the same school and both got in and majored together in business so here we were roommates and in the same class.

I was pretty focused on my studies, hell I even got offered to Harvard and other ivy leagues guy USC seemed about right for me.

I walked into class immediately meeting eyes with my professor. Matthew Sturniolo.

the following week

I walked in class sitting next to y/n, the one thing I saw this past week was how he looked at her, the way he’d always make sure she was okay, the way he’d constantly pass her desk giving her a smile. No way he didn’t like her….

FASTFORWARD SECOND SEMESTER PRESENT

“Anddd yeah that’s basically what I noticed just within the first week”. She started before Matt let out an obnoxious cough.

“Do I need to separate you two?”. He said leaning on his desk speaking in his normal voice.

I bit my lip making eye contact with him watching his eyes widen.

“No Mr.Sturniolo I’ll stop talking”. I say slowly and nia taps my thigh and I let out a soft giggle looking up seeing Matt’s jaw clench I quickly remembered my punishment Id receive, but was that gonna stop me? Fuck no.

The majority of class consisted of me teasing him, purposely fixing my button down so my tits we’re practically falling out, dropping my pencil so I’d have to bend down, my ass poking out in front of him.

All of this justtt to push him over the edge.

If only I knew what I was in for.

Just as I was about to leave the class being I was the last one he pulled my arm closing the door and locking it.

“Where do you think you’re going?”. Matt tilts his head backing me against the wall the heat between my legs growing.

“You think I couldn’t see what you were doing sweetheart?”. His finger on my chin my eyes meeting his feeling my panties dampen.

“You have no idea what I’m about to do to you…” he smirks gripping my thighs wrapping them around his waist slamming me on his desk making me gasp when his lips come in contact with my neck.

“Matt..”. I sigh deeply tilting my head back as he continues sucking harshly on the soft skin closing my thighs.

Matt let’s put a chuckle as he marked me up, his stubble burning into my skin, the desire in my body growing the more he touched me. Wondering what he would do to me.

“Take this off for me”. He tugs on my shirt and I nodded un doing the buttons, watching how his breath would hitch, revealing my pink lacy bra matching with the panties I had on.

“God- you look so sexy in this”. Matt mumbles his hands groping my tits making me let out a soft moan as he pulled away and I whined before he slapped my thigh and I gasped watching him go down on his knees.

My heart beat picked up as he slid my skirt off and panties revealing my bare pussy directly in his face.

“Ur so fucking wet, did i do this to you sweetheart?” He smirks running two fingers through my folds making me whimper and my lips part slightly.

“I suggest you open that pretty mouth and answer me, because I have all day to fuck the attitude outta you”. He speaks somehow still dominate as he’s on his knees and my stomach flips at his filthy words.

“Yes- you did- it was you” I squirm impatiently and he chuckles.

“that’s more like it”. Matt said lowly before looking me in the eyes licking a stripe up my wetness making me moan out softly squeezing my eyes shut

“such a pretty pussy, can’t wait to see the mess you make”. His hot breath on my core sends vibrations through me as his lips attach make an obnoxious suction noise making me squeal and tug on his hair.

“O-oh god-“ my breathing picks up as I begin to moan without a pause as Matt’s tongue flicks at an inhumane pace, his nose grazing my bud and his stubble against my thighs.

His hands grip my thighs pulling me more onto his face and I shriek gripping Matt’s hair tighter only fueling his ego and desire to go quicker

I was in such a euphoric state, hearing his mouth mix with my wetness, I had lost it when he shook his head in my pussy, he was good

“fuck- oh my god-“. I shudder my chest heaving as I watch him feeling my eyes blur at the pace of Matt’s tongue, not wasting a second or a drop of my arousal as he became pussydrunk off of me.

“Mmm you taste so good..”. Matt’s warm breath against my dripping cunt leaving small kisses making me squeal from the pleasure, not removing his head from between my thighs once.

The sound of her moaning my name above me as I held onto her thighs keeping her upright. She tasted so good almost as if I was meant to do this to her. The way she would squirm in my grasp every time my nose brushed against her clit which was often because I couldn’t get enough of her. Her pussy was perfect and every wrong thought of the student-teacher was completely gone.

I’ve been waiting for this moment for months. My own fucking student whose thighs I was now buried in between.

“shit Matt-“. My eyes flutter shut letting him take over my body my hips occasionally shooting up before Matt pulls them back down holding me in place.

“yes- oh shittt im s-so close”. I moan loudly pulling on his hair tightly feeling my the pit in my stomach become hotter.

“yeah? I want all on my tongue baby, give it to me”. He speaks quickly before resuming thrusting his tongue in and out of me.

“Fuck! I’m c-cumming”. I squeal feeling my body loose control as I squirted all on his tongue and around his mouth as it dripped down his chin.

He laps up every last drop making sure not to waste any.

“Tired already?” He chuckles standing up beginning to unbuckle his belt again and that grabs my attention.

“Wait-what are you doing?” I gasp watching his pants drop followed by his boxers, his hard cock with that similar red tip from earlier, spring out hitting his stomach.

“Oh sweetheart you didn’t think I would keep you back and not fuck you?”. Matt smirks bending me over the desk, his hand holding my head sideways as I shriek and the sudden contact of the cool glass of his desk.

I feel his cool rings come in contact harshly with my ass leaving a stinging feeling along the soft skin.

“Just couldn’t behave today could you, hm?”. He taunts repeating the same action making me jolt, pushing against his cock.

“No? Looks like I’ll have to fuck some sense into you yeah?” Matt smacks my ass again slightly harder me squeal.

“Probably like this don’t you, getting treated like a whore by ur professor. Doesn’t it turn you on?” He grabs my neck making my throat tighten and i whimper at his words.

“That’s not a response sweetheart”. Matt shook his head chuckling whilst keeping that firm grip on my neck.

“I-f-fuck it turns me on-“. I choke out and he releases his grip to run his tip in between my folds, the sticky sound from my previous orgasm and his pre cum mixing caused him to groan out of pleasure.

“Fuck, can’t wait to fuck ur pussy loose”. Matt mumbles before sliding into me halfway and my legs already feel weak, the stretch of him was indescribable.

“I’m only halfway pretty girl, you gotta take all of me I know you can”. He presses a soft kiss to my back before pushing all the way bottoming out.

“matt-fuck p-please-“. I stutter on my words as he’s practically balls deep inside me.

“Please what? Use ur words baby”. He massages my hip.

“Fuck me”. I turn back to look at him, my bottom lip tucked between my teeth was more than enough for him to start moving, not letting me adjust to his large size.

Matt didn’t start off slow, he went right to hard rough thrusts causing his hips to connect with my ass roughly making all sorts of noises come out, hardly any words were formable.

“God you feel so good..been waiting for this”. Matt lets out a deep moan as his hands hold my hips forcing me to take all of him, his tip brushing my g spot making my legs shake and I scream each time.

“Mmph f-fuck..”. I cry out, babbling as he fucks me senseless becoming drunk on his cock.

“Can’t even get a word out? God ur such a slut”. His hands dig into my ass making me squeal gripping the edge of the desk.

Matt’s pace was like he didn’t plan on stopping, he wanted me to feel every thick inch of him, and that this was something I’d never forget.

“Can’t wait to see you full of my cum, gonna fill you up so good”. He grunts gripping my shoulder to snap his hips quicker and my jaw hangs open the only thing coming from are squeals, heavy breaths and moans of his name.

“shit shit- feels s-so good”. I squeak out just above a whisper, the way he was fucking me there was no way I’d be able to walk the next day.

Matt’s deep grunts and moans made my pussy clench around him, fuck I could probably cum in the next minute.

“Fuckk- I love this pussy so fuckin much-“. Matt shudders at the feeling of my walls closing in on his large cock, the pace and pleasure were enough to make me feel like this.

“Please please”. I babble out like a helpless puppy and he chuckles slowing his thrusts and I whine.

“Fuck-no please Matt I-i need to cum”. I whine impatiently and he slaps my ass and I jolt back again feeling the head of his dick abuse my g spot

“you sure? Didn’t seem that way in class”. He chuckles his pace more slow and deep still knocking the wind out of my lunges.

“No! I’m sorry i-I’ll be a good girl I promise just please let cum”. I beg and he rubs my side gently.

I let out a deep sigh to myself, I mean how awful would I be if I didn’t let my favourite student have an orgasm.

“Mm much better”. He mumbles resuming his pace and my head falls forward my stomach tightening again as I feel that knot begin to burst.

“Oh fuck! Yes yes I-I’m cumming-“. I squirm feeling a hot liquid trickle down his cock but yet, he doesn’t stop pounding inside me and I reach back to push his hand away but he grabs both of them placing them behind me.

“M-Matt too much I-I’m sensitive!”. I cry out and he shakes his head with a cocky grin slapping my ass harder than normal.

“Should’ve thought about that before misbehaving huh sweetheart”. Matt mocked me thrusts harshly as my cum coated his cock making a mess on his lower stomach and my ass.

Matt continued his harsh movements as I felt his dick twitch inside me.

“fuck I’m gonna cum inside you yeah? Fill you up with my mmph babies”. He groans not letting up on his pace as I already feel an orgasm approaching me again.

Tears roll down my face from overstimulation as I’m about to cum for a 3rd time today.

“O-oh god Matt-please cum inside me-“. I babble on my words feeling a bit of drool on the corner of my mouth begging him to fill me up with his cum.

“atta girl, cum for me sweetheart, I know you got one more in you”. He pants reaching down to rub my clit, feeling his fingers graze my overstimulated bud and I squeal at the pressure of his fingers.

“f-fuck!”. I scream curling my toes as I felt like I was going to pee but i began squirting all over his cock and lower stomach, Matt thrusted slowly before filling me full of his warm thick liquid.

Matt rested his head on my shoulder stuffing me full of his cum and catching our breath.

He slowly slid out of me. I winced at the loss of him, being he was quite large.

“Fuck-you look so hot like this”. Matt bit his lower lip, his voice raspy and tired as he looked at my abused hole, full of his and my cum leaking out dropping on the floor.

Matt noticed I hadn’t said a word, and my legs shook slightly from the pleasure and whimpers and pants left my mouth as I look like a rag doll, sheen layer of sweat covered my body.

“hey, baby you okay?”. Matt rubbed my shoulder waging for an answer.

“Yeah just- really tired”. I pant and he grabs my waist sitting me on his lap.

“I know, I wore ur ass out didn’t I”. He lets out a breathy chuckle and I slap his chest rolling my eyes.

1 month later

Ever since me and my teacher Matthew sturniolo had sex, we never stopped.

Literally never stopped.

“come on hurry up I have 10 minutes!” He pulls me into his office quickly beginning to unbuckle his belt

and the time after that…

“fuck fuck fuck!”. I threw my head back as he gripped my ass tightly rocking me on his cock as I rode him in his chair

“God you feel so fucking good on top of me sweetheart..”. Matt mumbles into my neck slapping my ass, his cool rings felt electric on my body

Shit I even started sleeping at his house on the weekends.

“morning gorgeous”. Matt yawns pulling me into his grasp again and I giggle pulling him into a kiss.

I was sleeping with, My professor, Mr. Sturniolo,

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yanderenightmare · 4 months

Text

Mahito

TW: idk, threatening atmosphere ig

fem reader

Thinking about being a psychologist assigned a certain crazed serial killing cannibal…

The walls seemed too white. Loud. So impersonal, it became personal. Cold and eerie, as if it wanted to make everyone inside feel unwelcome.

Your palms were embarrassingly sweaty, causing you to wipe them down your skirt, also in an attempt to straighten it out, where the approaching footsteps on the other side of the door only helped make your heart beat faster.

You swallowed your anxiety when you heard the latch open and tried to wipe your face free of fear, knowing how such fragility would not survive here. You almost felt nauseous, but then the patient came in, and, unlike you, he looked completely normal – happy even.

"Good morning." You reported routinely, and just as routinely, he chose not to answer and instead stared at you where you sat on the other side of the table, as ready as ever.

It had become a ritual shared between the two of you. Intimate.

You, who made yourself comfortable before he was let in – folder and notepad and two ballpoint pens in two different colors, one red and one blue, placed in front of you on the table – just far enough away that he couldn't reach them.

And he, who’s comfortable either way – dressed in his given uniform and slippers as he stepped across the cold floor slowly before dropping into the chair in front of you.

You wear jewelry, and suppose he does so as well.

He looked your body up then down – analyzing what he saw with an unimpressed face – taking in your straight posture where you sat like a doll placed in a glass display with your knees together and your hands folded neatly atop your lap.

He seemed disappointed when roaming your outfit – a childish pout on his lips. A secular pencil skirt, tight but modest nonetheless, reaching below the knees – only showing calves and ankles. A demure blouse – no sheer fabric, no bright color, no cleavage – just dull pink-beige that reached up below a set of pretty collarbones and a neckline donned a simple pearl necklace.

If you wore makeup, it couldn't have been much – but your lips had a certain shine to them, not much color other than natural, but glossy in a way that made them look… tasty.

You were pretty, but pretty in a very ordinary way – pretty in such a way that wasn't enough to answer the question of whether you were trying or not. And he thought that was fun.

You looked boring, but you weren’t boring because you were anything but obvious.

You smiled nicely, pretending that he didn't make you nervous – and that, in turn, made him smile, but not for the reasons you would have liked. He thought you were a little weird for wanting him to get comfortable with you when you were so clearly nowhere near comfortable yourself.

"How are you today?" You asked as if in a normal conversation when your previous ask didn’t earn any response.

He considers playing along for a few seconds but eventually feels he has done so too many times before – that now it would only achieve something boring.

He nudges the inside of his cheek with his tongue and scrapes it against his teeth before finally answering. "Have you ever seen someone go through withdrawal?"

If this had been your first time with him, you would have reacted differently, but you have since learned that he’s happy to force what he feels like telling, regardless of your attempts to turn the conversation onto other topics. So, instead of asking why he's asking what he's asking, you answer honestly and let him continue.

"No. I can't say that I have."

"Then you're in for a treat.” He says and begins the game, quickly noting with a keen twinkle in his eye the way your smile tightens before he continues. "You might think I look like shit now, but you should’a seen my skin then – all ash and gray like a rotten fish. Should have some pictures of that in your binder – I looked as good as dead.” He joked with a smile. "And yet, I was still alive… ‘cause I kept kicking and flopping around. And it was cold – freezing – so cold that my teeth gnashed without having anything to bite into. And even though I’ve never been one to cry, I cried then, like a newborn fresh outta the womb." He confessed with even more of a chuckle in his voice.

The smile only grew sharper when he saw you open the notebook – his eyes twitching a little at the sound of the ballpoint clicking under your thumb as he watched you approach the sheet with red ink.

"Oh- and sweat," He continued, "My God, how you sweat." Grinning as the adrenaline of excitement sharpened the red in his corneas – crazed two-toned eyes bulging as he watched you scribble. “You may think you know sweat, but you don't – you don't know the stench of it.”

He shook his head along with the words, happy to have engaged you in his little game. You were so cute, sitting there opposite him as if the two of you were on a date and he was telling you some fun story from his past.

"And I shook! Like I was crazy – like I had demons on the inside that wanted out!"

You gasped as he brought his large fist down hard on the table with a blow that shook the remaining blue pen as if it jumped in fear and cowered to comfort itself the same as you.

“And then they came out. ‘Cause I puked ‘em out!”

His eyes were impossibly dark, though they remained the same as always. Full of something… something you just couldn't understand. Along with a crack of a smile that was anything but healthy.

"For several hours, I vomited until my soul was left in the toilet bowl… That is… the times I was lucky to even make it to the bathroom in time..."

His words earned a grimace from you, sitting with a lump in your throat, clutching the pen that had now gone silent in your still grip.

"And that smell doesn't go away…" He continued, calmer now. “It sits and sinks into the floors... Remains to remind you of what you are – mocks you, pokes fun, laughs as it predicts the future…”

His eyes gave yours the same feeling as being threatened with a knife, the way he looked down at you while you stared up at him – your eyes wide in prayer before you couldn't hold back any longer and had to look away.

"Because you know..." The voice was even quieter now but still with a reprehensible darkness that required goosebumps. "No matter what promises you make to yourself, you will always break them the moment the hunger strikes again... That's just human nature." He concluded, letting the silence work for himself.

You swallowed the lump in your throat and met his gaze again, trying your best to appear unflappable even though you’d already let the mask slip a couple of thousand times already.

"What made you think of that?" You asked then, clicking your pen – that way you do when the silence creeps worse than his words.

“This room.” He answered. “It's like withdrawal.”

"It doesn't say anywhere in your file that you’re a drug addict?"

"The whole reason I'm sitting in here is 'cause I’m an addict." He snarled, and you almost lost the pen with how you flinched.

There was another pause, and his face softened again into something else.

"But you're right. I've never done drugs." He smiled with his head cocked a little to the side as he looked at you with that fixed unpleasant look. "But I was convincing, wasn't I?"

You clicked your pen again and wrote another thing down in the notepad.

"Psh-" He scoffed. Something in his voice had changed, twisted into something similarly accusatory to yours. "You're just like me."

You stopped writing. Your whole body had been taken by instinct at his disturbing statement – brows furrowed as you fought the urge to gnaw at your bottom lip.

"How so?"

Your heart was pounding to the point where you could hardly feel anything but the bleeding pulsing in your ears – pumping in your fingertips – rocking the ribs in your chest.

A silent toothless smile crept up his face anew from where it had been playing at the corner of his mouth as he watched you cling to the red pen as some sort of weapon you could use if he chose to throw himself across the table.

He laughed at the thought but stopped short upon his next utterance. "You’re also an addict."

You had such a very pitifully confused expression. He took a second to admire it with a smile that only grew sharper, to a sick point where you almost couldn't recognize him as human at all anymore.

"You use – you eat and chew and swallow everything but the bones, everything you can stuff your bottomless belly with in hopes it'll soothe the hunger."

You had to gulp.

"Most people, you see, eat themselves. But we…" His gaze was like a spark – powder and fuse teased by friction, just waiting to explode. "We eat people."

Another silence fell upon you, but this one heavier than the previous ones – as if everything took a moment to catch its breath before you let it go, and with it came a deeply unsettling shiver down your spine.

But before you could question the statement, a beep came and took the patient away.

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slxttybbygrl · 2 months

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Before I started having sex, I was a lot more masculine. My hair was really short, I wore a binder everyday, only wore clothes from the men’s section, swore I was going to start T when I moved out. But then, I moved out and felt someone’s cock inside me for the first time. Liked feeling guys pull my hair, loved sucking them off. I started to notice how needy I got around guys, I’d giggle when they’d pull me into their lap. I’d blush when they’d tell me how proud of me they were, how good I was being for them. So I grew out my hair, started to wear more feminine clothes. Nothing from the Men’s section ever fit me anyways. I never bind anymore, hardly even wear a bra. Starting T hasn’t crossed my mind in ages. People mess up my pronouns all the time now. I guess all I needed was a cock to fix me

#ftm girl #ftm misgendering #fakeboy #bd/sm kink

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miris-secret-files · 9 months

Note

can i get a loid x fem reader hc where he becomes attracted with reader after interrogating her once while she was tied up? he ends up stalking reader and the two end up going at it. ty!

An Increasing Obsession || Loid Forger x fem!reader

A/n : Hello my dear 😎 now thank you a lot for this because that was so fun to write ! And so interesting because I don't think I ever wrote something like this 😌🔥

Warnings : Dark content, obsession, stalking, voyeurism, masturbation, possessiveness, jealousy, mention of breeding, 18+ READERS ONLY and wrap it before you tap it

Masterlist ⚜

I don’t give permission to repost my work, if you want to share it just reblogue it

Word count : 1026

It had started in a way that was quite usual for him. Indeed, it was not unusual for him, in the course of an investigation, to question or even kidnap a person who seemed key to his mission. In this case, he thought he was dealing with the author of the plot

So it was in all normality that Agent Loid Forger had tied you to a chair, so that he could interrogate you on all the grey areas of the investigation

Everything had been pretty well executed. In the beginning, he showed no mercy and was extremely rigorous. He didn't hesitate to raise his voice or threaten you

Unfortunately, the interrogation had come to nothing, as it seemed you had literally nothing to do with anything that was currently going on in Berlint

However, something rather unusual followed this usual scene, which was already a week old. Loid couldn't stop thinking about you. It was the first time such a thing had happened to him, and yet he decided to let his impulses carry him along

At first, he just felt the need to protect you now that he'd involved you - albeit from a distance - in this affair

He was using his impression to gather in his head all the information he had about you. He needed to know that you were safe and sound at the end of the day

That's how he gradually found himself in front of your house, then at your window - despite the height of the building - every evening to check on you.

But very soon, his obsession with your safety extended to other areas

First he wanted to make sure that no one was unpleasant or threatening to you in the course of your work. Then he started to follow you even when you left work, he couldn't help thinking that such a beautiful woman would be bothered in public transport or on the street. He wanted to be the only "stranger" who could talk to you. No. He wanted to be the only man who could talk to you

His - more or less very - close surveillance ended up making him late for some of his missions or tasks that he absolutely had to do. He did them at night, when he was sure you were safe and sound in bed. During the day, when he was "busy", it was Franky who looked after Anya, who ended up seeing the man with the afro more than her father

For his part, Loid started gathering information about you. Much more than he had in the WISE files or in his memory. First of all, he was going to write it all down in a notebook. He'd draw a timetable, add your favorite foods, the clothes you wore depending on the weather or your day, your friends, your doctor's appointments, your going-out habits and so on...

In 2 weeks, 1 month, he had already filled at least two binders, adding photos he'd taken of you without you knowing and extracts of sentences he'd heard you utter

He knew he couldn't stay in the dark and felt the need to talk to you again. So he went undercover. It worked well, but he soon dropped the idea when he became jealous of the idea of you talking to him when he was in costume, because it was as if you were talking to someone else. He wanted you to talk to him and him alone

And then by following you like this, he witnessed two or three things that should have remained private. Like you in the shower, you doing yourself good or even you watching at porn…

He began to long, every time he came to see you, to hear you moan. In time, he said goodbye to his inhibitions. When he felt his dick swell in his pants, he'd lead his hand over its bulge to gently palm himself

But he got tired of feeling his touch through his clothes. So he ended up freeing his erect member from the confines of his pants. Once he even ejaculated on your windowsill as if marking his territory

But his cock had a mind of its own, because even in perfectly normal moments when you were typing on your computer in the office or drinking a coffee, it managed to get impossibly hard and needy. His underwear often had a little pre-cum stain when he changed at night

He needed to see you now, feel you, touch you, he was a man with needs after all. And so he did. He gave you an appointment on the pretext of compensating you for last time's trouble. But you refused, saying it was fine. He insisted on coming for tea, and you finally gave in. After all, you thought he was quite good-looking, so why not ?

But it literally didn't go as planned for you. And exactly as planned for Loid

After a little taste, you ended up pinned on your back while he was railing your tight pussy

His hands clutched your arms possessively, as if you were about to disappear. This was bound to leave its mark tomorrow. But you didn't care, the pleasure he was giving you at that moment was nothing in comparison

His hand was pressed against your mouth to prevent the slightest moan from coming out, as if someone else had been in his apartment

However, one thing that didn't seem to bother him was the creaking of the couch and the sound of his thrusts as his cock sank deeper and deeper into your warm depths

Now that he had you on top of him, just for him, he wasn't going to let you slip away so easily - maybe that's what you wanted too

When he felt his orgasm building up inside him, he was careful not to tell you. He'd planned everything, starting with not wearing a condom. He ends up cumming deep inside you. Depositing his seed where it can grow, so your life will always be linked to his

That's how Anya got a little sibling

#spy x family #spy x family imagine #spy x family smut #spy x family dark content #loid forger #loid forger imagine #loid forger smut #loid forger x reader #loid forger x reader smut #loid forger dark content #request #dark content #smut #miri's-files

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sofie-toffy · 6 months

Text

Mizu Headcanons

AN: Broo ive just finished blue eye samurai and im obsessed w it..so here are some headcanons! SHE WAS SO FINE IN THE LAST SCENE BTW UGHH

(I’ll be separating it based on genre eg. angst or fluff)

Warnings: Angst, Contains mentions of death & murder, spoilers! The fluff is x reader

(if you know me irl, no you don’t)

Angst:

- Mizu often thinks about how life would be if she chose to forgave her husband and didn’t kill him

- After Ringo leaving her she feels awful for what she’s done and wishes that she could let go of her revenge path but cannot

- Once Mizu’s “mother” betrayed her and Mizu killed her, she still had the motive of killing her father, but instead of the motive to avenge her mother it was to curse the man that made her live in the first place

- She understood that she never should’ve been born in the first place and was born as monstrous, hence her obsession with revenge. But there is obviously a part of her that wants to live a peaceful life

- She normally has panic attacks but no one has ever witnessed them except Swordfather

- When she was with her husband (the night before the sparring) that was the only time she felt loved for who she was

- She wanted to show who she really was as her husband asked to, and once she did she was called “a monster” and now she’s reluctant to show anyone even half of who she really is

- She overworks herself to the point of exhaustion and most times collapses, forgetting to eat and rest

- Whenever she checks her reflection, she imagines herself with brown/black eyes

- (Canon) she wears the same clothes she wore since she was a child and stitches them whenever they tear

- because of her binder she often has trouble breathing but she’s so used to it she thinks it’s normal

- She once wanted to gouge her eyes out so she won’t witness the looks of disgust when they see her eyes

- She’s entirely convinced that there’s no way she’ll ever be truly loveable. She’s convinced she’s monstrous in every way, from the hues of her blue eyes to the violence she bears

(MY POOR BABY I LOVE HER SM I JUST WANNA SEE HER HAPPY N SATISFIED 😭😭)

Fluff/Not angst(finally)

- Love language is quality time & acts of service

- Although she’s not aware of it, she has an unconscious fixation with music. Mizu has always been drawn to musical festivals and it both calms and excites her

- If given the time, she normally asks if you want to go to festivals (her unnamingly pleading for you to agree) and her face is relaxed the whole time, her fingers intertwined with yours

- I feel her normal dates with you would be very simple. She’d enjoy just spending time with you, quietly or with small chatter

- She loves stargazing with you. My god. Laying beside each other, feeling each others warmth contrary to the harsh snow as you look at the different constellations

- Actually, you’d be looking at the constellation while she looks at you with a small smile tugging at her lips, while she adores the light in your eyes as you gaze up

- Speaking of holding hands she LOVES to hold your hand, doesn’t matter if your hand is cold or warm, it intertwines with hers perfectly

- Whenever you compliment her eyes she doesn’t believe you until you say it a thousand times

- takes a LONG time to warm up to you, but once she does it is SO worth it

- unconsciously misses your warmth, once sleeping she searches for your hand to hold or for you to hug

- speaking of hugging, i think she can be both spoons but mostly big spoon

- loves resting her head on your chest but loves wrapping her arms around you, ensuring that you are safe

AN: GUYS I NEED HER SO BAD U DONT GET IT

#blue eye samurai #blueeyesamurai #mizu blue eye samurai #mizu #mizu x reader #mizu x you #mizu headcanons #mizuxreaderhc #headcanon #headcanons #mizu fanart #fluff #besfluff #besangst #angst #fanfic

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narcissistcookbook · 2 months

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I just wanted to let you know that the amount of gender euphoria I get every time I listen to Not Entirely Alone rivals how I felt when I wore a binder for the first time and I cannot explain why (bonus points because my chosen name is a two syllable word that doesn’t mean “gift from God” but does refer to a Bible character who is considered to be one, so it feels like the narrator in NEA is talking to me specifically)

This is fantastic, thank you 💜

every time someone is a fan of Not Entirely Alone, I remember listening to it and going "no one but me will like this, but I'm putting it on the album anyway, fuck all yall". I enjoy being wrong under very specific circumstances

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ofmermaidstories · 1 year

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there’s something so bittersweet and lovely about fanfic, at it’s core. it’s so impermeable, because it’s so individual. fics don’t get finished. fics get lost because they were typed out and sent to friends, in the 70s, and somewhere along the way someone packed it up in a cardboard box and their kids shuffled it to the attic. websites go down. archives get built, but then people lose faith in the story or the canon or the creator and delete them. you read it at like, 3am, and can’t remember the title months later when you look for it again.

the tiktok these comments are from was lamenting about the loss of a favourite fic—it (the tiktok) had 85k+ likes, and over 700 comments, mostly similar to these. people talking about downloading fics to read on a tablet only for them to disappear the next day. using the wayback machine and combing through results, just to find something they loved. i think it’s sweet because it’s so human—how easily we love something, and how easily we lose it. i used to print out my favourite fics, as a kid—i still have a binder of them, buried under yearbooks and the old journals i kept during those topsy turvy preteen years. i could tell you the overarching plot to a Cardcaptor Sakura fantasy AU i read (and loved; it became my personality for months afterwards) but i can’t remember how it ended, or if it even did. i finally broke down and signed up for an account on AO3 specifically to bookmark an old, old fic that i had read somewhere else, years and years and years ago and found again on AO3 only because i accidentally stumbled on the author here on tumblr (i had only found the fic in the first place all those years ago because of a playlist). i used the same shade of lipstick for years purely because a fic i really liked had the main character apply it (it was a limited edition one at the time; i bought my first one from a ebay seller in the UK at double the retail price, lmao) while the love interest watched them, but i can’t remember the name of it, only how it made me feel (and how, for years afterwards, i would wear that shade whenever i felt like the day had something promising to it).

one of the first anon’s i ever got, in the early days of this tumblr, was someone who asked me if it was okay if they downloaded surrender—and of course it was. of course it is. there was a point, during the final stretch when i was trying to write the last chapter, that i almost lost the entirety of what i had written for that fic—and i mean, it was on AO3 by that stage so it would’ve only set me back a chapter or so, but it goes to show how fragile things can be. how sometimes fics only last in tiny ways—because of the unfinished PDF file someone downloads. The patchy memory of someone’s who’s jumbling it and three other fics together. Because someone wore the same shade of lipstick you mentioned, off-hand, for years afterwards.

(this is a love letter to the silent readers; the silent savers. the lurkers. fandom and the internet at large is made of lurkers (eighty-five thousand likes. seven hundred comments). people who saved fics and waybacked them and will reread them, even uncompleted. telling each other we did a good job, that we liked this or we liked that is wonderful, and fun, and a great (and important) way to build a community and has also given me my current friends—but sometimes something you make will matter and live on in a way you will never, ever know. and it’s just how it is. it’s part of the fun and it’s part of the charm. it’s just how we work as people.)

#floating rubbish island: mermaid spam #shall i do a part two for the opposite end of the spectrum? the readers who tell you as they’re rereading?#the ones that come back to point out details that have stuck with them?#sometimes i worry i don’t give enough to those of us in the community who do that #today i got a comment on surrender and it made my whole day—which otherwise would’ve been spent being miserable trying to sweat out my fever #people are so sweet and i feel so empty-handed for them sometimes #because time is so valuable—people don’t *have* to comment #people don’t *have* to note the tiny details #i share these fics because i *want* to—that is a choice i make knowing that maybe people won’t like it or respond to it #no one asks me to spend the time i do on these fics and so no one owes me for it #which makes the time someone *does* spend commenting or tagging or saying hello even more precious

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lvrsparadise · 9 months

Text

'ALWAYS.' - M.S

Synopsis - "You and me, always forever."

BASED ON THIS REQUEST

Warnings! - Kissing, profanity, Marylou being amazing, Nick defending Matt n Y/N, Use of Y/N, italics mean flashbacks (you know it's good when I use the flashbacks).

A/N - I literally love this, and I'm so happy I get to write it. Again, I'm sorry it's taken me this long to write this. So fun fact, the dad part is based on my dad. So little ole' fun facto there! I cried while writing this, it's so sweet. Enjoy!!

"Oh my god! Wait do you remember your 18th birthday?!" Nick randomly shouts out.

"Do I remember?? Of course I do. That was literally the best birthday I've ever had. No offense mom." I look at the camera.

Chris fake gags as he takes a sip from his drink and makes a shuddering noise, I just kick the back of his seat.

"Hey! Don't do that!"

I stick my tongue out to him before looking to Matt, our eyes catching for a few seconds as we both silently reminisce about that day.

"Would you like to share with the people why it was such an amazing birthday?"

"Oh, for sure."

I clear my throat and go through each memory of that day, from when I woke up until I went to sleep.

"To start off, I was woken up by my favorite people, and Chris."

"Hey!"

"And we spent the entire day out, courtesy of Marylou, love you, Marylou. And around I want to say 5 or 6 PM, when we all went back to my place, A LOT of people were there. We partied, and it was so much fun. And when it was time for me to open presents, the first one I opened was a binder. And I remember thinking, 'what in the world is this??'. So, I look to my amazing boyfriend, who was standing next to his mother with a shit eating grin on his face, and I open it up and instantly remember what it was."

"Oh my god, your face when you opened it was so priceless." Nick slaps my shoulder, not hard, but hard enough.

"Yeah, I was also crying!"

Everyone, even Chris giggles at my comment. I mean it's true. When I started to go through it, I was crying.

----

I set my energy drink on the table as I reach for a bag covered in glitter with the words 'happy birthday' on it.

"This is a nice bag." I say before ripping out the hot pink tissue paper and looking inside.

"The fuck is this? Oh! Sorry mom!" I dart my eyes to my mom as she rolls her eyes and smacks my shoulder at the curse word.

"Just open it hun!" My mom rests a hand on my shoulder as I take the binder out of the bag and setting it on the table.

I look at Matt, who's standing next to his mom, grinning like an idiot, confusion clear in my gaze as I arch a brow at him. He just waves his hand in a way saying, 'just open it'. So I do.

I flip the binder open, and my mouth falls open in an instant. The first page containing pictures of me and Matt, at least 9 years old, holding hands while I'm in the dress I wore to my mom and stepdads wedding, him in a red flannel, smiles on our faces, and chocolate.

"Oh. My. God. No way." I whisper to myself as I look back to Matt, grinning back at him before looking back down to the binder.

The page also has more pictures of us over the years. One picture I recognize all too well. A picture of me in a black hoodie, over-done eyeliner under my eyes and side swept bangs and instantly cringe at the memory of my embarrassing middle school years before flipping the page to see more pictures.

The picture that sticks out the most, is the picture of me and Matt at prom. Him in his peach pink button up, and my matching dress. I loved prom night.

"Wait what?!" Nick moves to my side with a hand on my shoulder as he looks at the pictures.

"Oh my god! This is that thing mom made for you and Matt when we were kids!"

"Yeah!"

Suddenly everyone gathers around the table, even Matt moving to my side with a hand resting on the small of my back as he looks at it with me.

"Oh my god! I remember this day!" I point to a picture of me and Matt in, I want to say 9th grade, maybe 8th, and we were passed out on each other, not a care in the world.

"That's the day I had my first soccer game. I was so exhausted."

"Yeah, and Matt was so exhausted from cheering you on." My mom and Marylou fist bump and giggle to themselves.

"What can I say? I love supporting my girl." Matt shrugs one shoulder as he uses his free hand to point to a picture of me in our senior year, laying on the beach with my way to floppy straw hat and stripped bathing suit like I was in 2015 again.

"Oh my god no. Not that photo." I make a face at the photo before I flip the page and am greeted with a whole collage of me and my dog, Raul.

I tear up at the photos, seeing as he passed away in the recent year.

"Matt." I turn my head to my boyfriend next to me and smile softly.

I've had that dog since I was maybe 7. So, not having him here for my 18th birthday is pretty sad. But the fact that he's in here, warms my heart.

He just kisses my forehead and gives my hip a reassuring squeeze as I return back to the photos.

"Oh my god! This is the day we got him!" I point to a photo of little seven-year-old me holding the oh so tiny Raul, which is ironically next to a photo of 15-year-old me with a much, much bigger Raul on my lap.

I flip the page again and Nick points to a photo of me, my brother, Matt, Nick, Chris, and Nate in skates, all in different jerseys, with large smiles and our thumbs up. Based on the color of my hair, we were maybe 13 or 14.

"That day was so much fun." Chris points out as he rubs one of my shoulders as small tears roll down my cheeks.

"It was." I smile before flipping the page again, and I feel like a train of memories hit me.

It a page dedicated to my dad, who passed away in 2020. I sniffle and wipe my cheeks before fully looking at each photo.

One is a photo of when I was maybe 5 and we were at his aunt's house in Colorado, with my brother, him, and his aunt. It still hurts to think about his death sometimes. He may not have had a really active role in mine or my brother's lives, but I still loved him. He really tried to make an effort. Even talked about moving closer to us to be more included in our lives. I mean, I get it. He was in the navy and moved around a lot.

I smile softly at a photo of my in his navy suit, although it swallowed me whole. Then there's a photo of me sitting on one of his knees and Matt on the other while Chris Nick and Nate are sitting on the floor with my brother, all of us intently focused on whatever he was reading us.

I flip the page and it's got a little piece of paper with the words 'Y/N bakes!' written on it, in Matt's handwriting.

The first photo I see is me with a large chef's hat and apron on, my hair in two little braids and a full toothy grin, one of my buck teeth missing, as I stir what looks to be batter, but there's flour everywhere. Even a handprint on my cheek I remember Chris put there.

"Oh my god!" I squeal quietly as I study the other photos of me baking various desserts. Always covered in flour.

"You were always the best little baker." I raise my eyebrows at my mom's comment.

"Still am." I point a finger at her and flip the page again, this page filled with my different Halloween costumes.

"That's the year we all went as different Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!" I point to a picture of me and Nick standing next to each other, dressed as Leo and Raph.

"Yeah, and I had to go as Master Splinter." Nate then points to a photo of me Nate and Chris standing together in a weird pose, mainly pointing at himself in a rat costume.

"But you made an amazing Master Splinter!" Nick whines.

"Are you secretly calling me short?!"

"What! No! Never!"

"Uh huh, sure."

I roll my eyes and go back to looking at the photos, my Corpse Bride costume catching my eye.

It's me as Emily, and Matt as Victor, our arms linked and a bouquet of wilted, white spraypainted roses in my hand. That was last year's costume, and we won first place in a costume contest.

Matt flips the page this time, and it's a plethora of photos of me and him, in random cuddling positions, every photo we are fast asleep.

"Who took these?!" My head snaps up as I nail everybody standing at the table with narrowed and squinted eyes, Nick whistling and looking around, totally not guilty at all.

"Nick?" I arch a brow and he just laughs and shakes his head.

"What? Y'all were just too cute."

I roll my eyes and look at all the photos. I remember being insanely comfortable in each and every one of them.

I flip the page to the last page that has more pictures of me and the whole group, including Madi who I met last year, and Tril. All of us fucking around and being dumb teenagers.

And the back of the last page has a letter in it.

To the light of my life, I'm so glad I met you so early on in my life, and I love the fact that you've put up with me for so long as well. I love you so much, and I can't imagine my life without you. I hope you never stop being yourself, and that you keep spreading your light everywhere you go and to everyone you meet. I feel like everyone should have a Y/N in their lives, you make everyone around you so happy, you make them feel included and like they matter and I thought I couldn't love you more. I know you're probably thinking, 'Matt, why'd you keep this?' or 'How did you find it?' Mom kept it safe, and she gave it to me in sophomore year and I kind of scrap booked it and just cut out photos of you and all of us and just kept adding to it as time went on. And I'm so glad I did. Happy 18th birthday my love, I'll love you, always and forever. Sincerely yours, Matthew.

My eyes soften and I turn my whole body to face Matt, wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him tightly, laughing tearfully.

"I love you too. So much."

He wraps his arms around me, his grip on me just as tight as mine as he presses a kiss to my temple.

We pull back after a minute or two and I wipe my face with a sigh and a sniff as I close the binder.

"Alright, can this next present liven the mood? I don't want to cry anymore."

I grab another bag and take the tissue paper out only to be greeted by a familiar shirt and a piece of wood on it. I refrain from nailing my mother with a look as I take the wood block out of the bag and read the words.

'Y/N'. It's just my name. But I vividly remember watching my grandfather make this as a kid. Meaning that the shirt is my granddads favorite shirt, that I loved just as much as he did.

I grab the shirt from the bag and have to hold back more tears.

"Mom." I let out in a strained voice, sniffling and wiping my nose.

She walks to me and envelopes me in a hug as I tearfully laugh in her arms.

She pulls away and I slip the shirt on over my dress and continue to open my presents, enjoying this evening with my closest friends and family.

At the end of the night, I ended up in the arms of the guy I love most, talking about the evening.

"My favorite part was when you opened the binder. You looked so happy to see those pictures." Matt speaks as he runs his hand through my hair.

"I was. And I am. I'm so happy you kept it. Even if it was just a silly little thing from when we were nine." I smile at the fond memory of the day we got 'married'.

"Do you think we'll actually get married one day?" I look up to his eyes as he smile and nods.

"Of course I do. Like I said, I don't think I could imagine my life without you. Being your husband would bring me nothing but happiness. I just want to be with you. No matter what."

I smile at his words and lean up from my spot on his chest and press our lips together.

"I love you Matt."

"I love you Y/N."

----

"That was literally the best night, and day, of my life."

"It was fun. The party was good."

"I think the food was the best thing." I roll my eyes. Because only Chris could say something like that.

"Of course you did Chris." Matt reaches back and holds my hand, sliding his thumb over my knuckles in a soothing way, looking at me through the rearview mirror.

"Alright, I think we're going to end this video here; I don't think I can handle any more of this." Chris waves his hand to where mine and Matt's hands are conjoined on the center console.

"Hey! Don't say that! I think it's adorable! Gives me hope for love."

"Thank you, Nick." I giggle out as Matt grabs the camera with his free hand and gives a close up of Chris's forehead before screaming into it, sending us all into fits of laughter.

After that, we finish our forgotten food that we didn't while we were explaining and reminiscing about my 18th birthday, and then we head back to their house.

Once we do, we all separate our different ways Nick to his room to edit, Chris to his to sleep probably, and me and Matt to his.

I walk into his room and go to sit on the bed, but hands around my waist turning me keep me from doing so.

Matt turns my body to his and envelops me in what might be the best kiss we've ever shared. It's long enough for our lips to turn red but short enough that we're not panting for breath when we pull apart.

" 'I'll love you, always and forever'." He mumbles while his lips are still pressed to mine, making me smile.

"I'll always love you too."

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#l writes!#matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #chris sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo imagine #i love this #he's so boyfriend #i need me a man like him #i'd do anything to get a letter like that ong

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