#small steps and to be consistent i need to be able to finish the workout each time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

whatisthiswritingthing · 3 years

Text

Observation Skills - Part Four- Lindsey Horan x Reader

Alright team, what are you wanting going forward? Super slow burn? Angst? I have a pretty good idea where I am going, but open to suggestions.

Lindsey really is a teenage girl with a crush again.

Lindsey: So I’ve decided we can’t be friends.

Hot Trainer: But I come with dog?

Lindsey texted Sara later that day, receiving a selfie of the blonde and her dog in response.

Lindsey: As adorable as Blaze is, he does not take away the suffering that I endured at the hands of your workouts.

With only an eye roll emoji sent in return, Lindsey began to panic. What if she thinks I’m serious?

Beginning to spiral, thinking she ruined their easy dynamic when it had just begun, Lindsey started to type out an apology.

Hot Trainer: Don’t be so dramatic!

Those were in season workouts, should be nothing for a professional athlete like yourself ;)

I’ll talk to Sean to make sure he prepares you better for this season.

Lindsey was instantly filled with relief, a smile on her face. Their easy banter remaining.

Lindsey: I’m pretty sure that’s not what I said at all! There is no need to make threats like that.

The two blondes continued to banter back and forth the remainder of the day, a smile never leaving her face. The blonde trainer putting the midfielder at ease with such a casualness it should alarm her, but somehow reassured her. Sara made fun of herself as much as she made fun of Lindsey, while also asking questions and making an effort to get to know her. Letting her expand when she wanted and casually changing the topic when she didn’t, with a smattering of pictures of Blaze throughout as well.

Their banter easily carrying over to the next morning, conversation never stopping except when Lindsey finally fell asleep early into the morning.

Hot Trainer: I’ve thought about it, and I wouldn’t be a good trainer if I didn’t adequately prepare you for your season workouts.

A smile immediately on Lindsey’s face at waking up to a text from the trainer.

Lindsey: It is far too early for you to be so mean already.

Lindsey continued to get ready for training, rushing slightly to make it there sooner, wanting to get as much time with the trainer as she could. Today was her last workout with Sara, after today Lindsey didn’t know what their dynamic would look like. Was Sara just being this way with her because she was training her? Would they continue to talk? Text? A smile and wave in passing?

As her anxiety continued to climb and her thoughts spiraling, she realized she was parked next to the red Range Rover again. With a deep sigh, Lindsey made her way into the gym.

All thoughts and over analyzing immediately stopped when she walked in.

Walking in, Lindsey immediately found the blonde working out. The loud music not even registering to the midfielder as she watched the trainer do pull ups at a rapid pace, only for her to drop down to the ground and begin doing pushups at the same speed. She’s shirtless, of course she is shirtless. And has a rib piece. Of course she has a rib piece.

With Sara’s back to the entrance, it gave Lindsey the chance to fully appreciate the blonde trainer’s physique. The soccer player obviously knew the firefighter was strong, but watching the muscles flex and work froze Lindsey in place.

Lindsey slowly made her way further into the gym, wanting a closer look. Wanting to feel the muscles for herself.

She was brought out her thoughts when a wet nose nuzzled into her palm. Wrenching her hand up and taking a hard step the opposite direction, she looked down to see two brought blue eyes of Blaze who simply sat and cocked his head in confusion.

“Told you he would be his best friend,” Lindsey startled again at the voice. Sara nodding to the ball now at her feet, obviously dropped from the large brown and white husky.

“Well, you clearly aren’t giving him enough attention,” she sassed back, impressed at herself for even being able to form words.

Deliberately keeping her eyes on the ball, Lindsey leaned down to pick it up and throw it the opposite direction. Braving a glance back, she found that Sara had since put a shirt on. Now she couldn’t decide if she was pleased about this or not. Wanting to see more of the skin, but not knowing what she would do if she did see more of it.

“Yeah, he’s pretty neglected, treated terribly,” Sara said sarcastically. At the same time the mentioned dog dropped the ball back at Lindsey’s feet.

“Clearly,” She snorted with an eye roll, throwing the ball again.

“You’re early again,” Sara observed, “let me go change, you keep giving him the attention I don’t give him.”

Lindsey’s eyes followed as she jogged up the stairs, transfixed on the flex of her legs as she bounded up them.

A few minutes later, Sara made her way down the stairs, now fully clothed, a bowl and large bone in either hand, with a spoon hanging from her mouth.

As Sara got closer, Lindsey could smell the cinnamon and brown sugar from the oatmeal in her bowl.

“Breakfast?” Lindsey joked, motioning to the bone with a grin.

Pulling the spoon out of her mouth, she replied, “needed to make sure I get my protein in today.”

Blaze rushed forward, patiently waiting in front of Sara for the bone in her hand. Effectively ending their joke as she handed the bone to the husky.

“What are you eating?” Lindsey asked, confused when she saw a flash of colour as the trainer took a bite.

“Dinosaurs!” Sara exclaimed, excited, quickly tilting her bowl towards Lindsey.

“Dinosaurs?” Lindsey questioned, peaking into the bowl, seeing the small candy dinosaurs mixed in with the oatmeal.

“Are you telling me you have never had dinosaur oatmeal?” the blonde questioned surprised, “they start as eggs then hatch when you heat it up!”

“How are old are you?”

“Don’t be hating on the dinosaurs!”

“Aren’t you a nutritionist? There is no way that is healthy.”

“A, I never said I was a good one,” the trainer states, pointing her spoon toward Lindsey before taking another bite, “b, dinosaurs are essentially protein.”

Lindsey just stood staring at the trainer, trying not to smile, enjoying the childlike behavior as she ate.

“I don’t even know what to say to that,” shaking her head and looking down, Lindsey hid her blush at seeing the joy on Saras face as she smiled at her.

“Perfect! If you are done making fun of my dinosaurs, I remember a few of the hardest workouts I made for you last season,” Sara replied flippantly as she focused on scrapping the last bit of oatmeal from her bowl.

“Making fun of? No, that was definitely all out of jealously.”

Sara just rolled her eyes and smiled.

“Go warm up!”

The rest of the morning went the same for the two women, the whole work out filled with smiles and laughter. Sara keeping to a normal workout, not pushing Lindsey past her limit. Lindsey pushing herself hard to impress Sara.

After the workout finished, Lindsey grabbed her stuff and walked to the door. Sara and Blaze walking with her. Lindsey began to feel the anxiety from earlier return, overthinking their new dynamic.

“I might have to convince Sean to take more time off so we can train together more,” Sara mentioned casually as she made her way around the front counter, lazily reclining in the desk chair.

“I hate to break it to you, but I only stuck around for this guy,” Lindsey replied, leaning to ruffle Blaze’s ears, working to keep her nerves hidden.

“Fair, he is quite the catch,” Sara said in return. Lindsey missing the flash of disappointment on Sara’s face when Lindsey didn’t return the interest in training together.

“Yea, he definitely is. Talk to you later.”

With that, Lindsey made her way out the door and into her car and rested her head on her steering wheel, letting out a big sigh. How could she possibly feel this attached to someone she has only spoken to for less than a week?

Beginning her drive home, Lindsey let her thoughts travel. The gorgeous firefighter the focus. Drifting between the many different attributes she noticed in the three days with her. How effortlessly Sara could make her laugh and smile; her quick wit and charm never making Lindsey uncomfortable as she was just as quick to mock herself as she was Lindsey. The confidence she carried with her, but never seeming arrogant as she explained things. The effort she put to always ensure Lindsey was alright and comfortable with the physical contact before touching her. How at ease Lindsey felt with Sara, a level of comfort she hadn’t felt with anyone outside her family. Her personality left Lindsey wanting more, more of what, she didn’t fully understand.

Then without trying, Lindsey’s thoughts drifted to her physical attributes. The other woman was gorgeous. Shorter than Lindsey, by only a couple inches. An athletic build that only could be developed from years of sports and training, obvious strength through out. Muscle definition that could rival any fitness model, and easily put them all to shame. Bright blue eyes that seemed to see everything, and never held judgment. With a smile that bordered a smirk but was too damn charming for its own good. Accentuated by one small dimple on her right cheek. Sometime both when she smiled big enough.

How is she even real!?

I am absolutely fucked.

The next few days Lindsey felt a little unsettled. Her and Sara had texted all day Friday, then minimally Saturday and Sunday. Lindsey had gone to the gym both days, staying consistent with her program, only to find it missing the blonde and her dog.

By Monday, her anxiety had returned fully as she made her way to train with Sean again. The two talked and caught up, but Lindsey felt unfocused the whole time, always waiting for Sara or Blaze to appear.

Lindsey: Worried to see how much happier I am with Sean back than I am with you? :p

Hot Trainer: Is this your way of saying you miss me? ;)

Lindsey: If you mean miss Blaze, then definitely.

Lindsey quickly received a picture of the mentioned husky stretched the length of a body on a couch, a pair of boots on the floor in background.

Hot Trainer: He is clearly struggling, but he’s putting on a brave face.

Despite her anxiety, Lindsey felt herself smile at the picture and the easy banter again. Then she literally face palmed, of course Sara wasn’t at the gym or texting quickly, she was working!

She needed to reign this crush in.

After realizing how much she was overthinking the last couple days, she just enjoyed talking to Sara like normal. The two continuing to message through the day, sometimes with long pauses that Lindsey assumed were due to Sara being on a call. Lindsey felt herself relaxing again.

“Alright, what has you smiling like a dork at your phone every ten seconds?” Tobin whispered in the locker room later that afternoon after practice.

Blushing, Lindsey quickly locked her phone, tossing it into her bag on the floor, “nothing.”

Glancing up, she looked around to make sure no one else was paying attention, before putting more focus than needed on untying her boots. Deliberately ignoring Tobin, feeling her watching her.

At hearing the phone vibrate in her bag, Lindsey started to reach down to check it before stopping herself, aware of Tobin’s gaze.

“So, does nothing have a name?” Tobin teased, causing Lindsey’s blush to deepen.

With another quick glance around, Lindsey dropped her chin to her chest.

“Sara,” she mumbled quietly.

Sensing the struggle her friend was experiencing, Tobin just rubbed Lindsey’s back, silently encouraging her to continue. At her continued silence, Tobin moved to wrap her arm around Lindsey.

“Come on, let’s go to your place, you can offer me your gross Kombucha, I’ll refuse, you’ll feel guilty, then feel obligated to tell me all about Sara.”

With a small smile, Lindsey nodded and the two began making their way to their respective cars.

AS soon as the duo entered the apartment Lindsey headed to the kitchen while Tobin moved to the living room and sprawled out on the couch.

“Kombucha?”

“No. So Sara?”

“Yupp, Sara,” Lindsey replied, lifting Tobin’s legs to sit on the couch with her, “she’s a trainer at my gym and I somehow went from ‘who is this crazy person also working out at 5am’ to ‘grin at my phone like a fool’ in hardly a week.”

Lindsey dropped her head to the back of the couch, lazily letting it roll to see Tobin’s reaction.

“So? There is obviously something there then, nothing wrong with that.”

“That’s it? That’s all you have to say?”

“Just go with the flow Lindsey, it’s been a week you said. Talk, hang out, get to know each other. If there is something more than friendship, act on it, if not, you made a new friend.”

“You make it sound so easy!” Lindsey lets out a frustrated sigh, aggressively flopping her head back to stare at the ceiling.

“Start from the beginning, this doesn’t sound complicated.”

Lindsey told Tobin about her intersections the blonde trainer over the past week. She described how she looked, how she made Lindsey feel, about her personality. Everything.

“I’m sticking with just go with the flow Linds, like you said its only been a week. Don’t worry before there is something to worry about.”

“Don’t worry?! I don’t even know if she is single or likes girls. I don’t even know if I like girls! But I know I like her! Fuck!”

Dragging a hand down her face, letting out a frustrated groan.

“Alright, slow down there tiger. No way someone in a relationship is texting someone new as much she is texting you or flirting with you. And if she is flirting with you, that either means she likes girls or likes you too. But most importantly Linds, you don’t need to label anything. You can like her without liking all girls or any other girls. Just do what makes you happy and comfortable.”

“It’s that easy?” Lindsey asks timidly, turning her head to see Tobin.

“It is that easy,” Tobin repeats.

“I’ve never had feelings like this before, I don’t know what to do.”

“You don’t have to do anything. Just talk to her, add some serious stuff in there in the middle of your banter. If she is anyone worth being with, she is going to be patient with you and go at your pace.”

Lindsey just nodded along, staring at the ceiling again.

“Now, show me all the pictures of the dog and lets watch a movie,” Tobin says with a smile, shoving Lindsey shoulder to help settle her.

Lindsey quickly pulls out her phone, pulling up all the photos Sara had sent of Blaze.

#uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines #uswnt x reader #lindsey horan imagines #lindsey horan imagine #lindsey horan x reader

119 notes · View notes

work-before-glory · 2 years

Note

Hey G

I'm not able to stay consistent with my studies. Neet is two months away and I have not completed my syllabus even once yet. I'm so scared and frustrated too. I want to study but I cannot get myself to. I sit on my desk for hours and waste time. I have recently even started breaking down. I know the problem is me. I have all the resources and all the support but I'm not working and I HATE MYSELF FOR IT. I don't know what is wrong with me.

Seeing your last post really motivated me.

Can you give me some tips to get me back into the study mindspace?

Nonnie, bby it's okay.

See first of all I'd say that don't hate yourself, don't be so harsh with yourself, okay? We all go through these bouts of unproductivity. Especially with everything being online it is so so hard to focus. I have been in your place SO SO MANY times trust me.

I myself am just an aspirant hun so idk how helpful my advice would be for you.

You're already closer to your goal because you know you want to do it, right? You've made your mind. So kudos to you for that firstly.

All I wanna say is babe don't focus on how much time is left because see NEET PG is being postponed by 6-8 weeks, UG counselling round 1 was revoked, there's sooo much going on with the elections and boards and blah blah.

Just focus on completing your syllabus as of now. But make a plan, set a deadline and follow them. Divide your goals into weekly -> daily -> hourly and FOLLOW THEM. Do not take any unnecessary stress just keep going.

So for focusing, a few things that help me a lot are :

1. Study with me sessions on YouTube. My favorite channel is Study Vibes and the streams are very regular and organised. You can study in real time on a live stream. It is very helpful.

2. Study streams are also great. You can join a zoom call with other people studying and seeing them study is motivating.

3. Use active recall; try teaching someone. It's not only going to help you memorise concepts for longer but it'll keep you interested too. I don't really have anyone 24×7 with me to study with so what I have started doing is I teach myself, either by going on a Google meet or in the mirror. I pretend I'm teaching myself. It is really helpful trust me.

4. Babe, please start meditating. That's the only way you can calm yourself down and not have breakdowns. You don't have to do extensive 30/40 minute sessions. Just a 5 minutes guided meditation session will do.

5. Make realistic schedules. If you feel you can in one day start studying 15 hours a day, it's practically impossible. Start small. Stay consistent. You'll get there hun.

6. Reward yourself. It WORKS! You wanna watch a video? Complete a chapter revision and only when you finish your decided work let yourself watch the video. Rewards can work magic.

7. Listen to songs, dance, workout, paint, eat well. See we're very very young. It is not the end of the world if we fail once in our lives. I'm not saying that means we should not give our 100% but taking extreme steps is not the solution. You've got time babe. Take a deep breath and keep working.

8. If you need some external motivation, ALAKH PANDEY SIR it is. Idk anyone who can inspire you the way he can. His small 1 minute motivating videos on YouTube can move your soul. I swear.

9. Watching NEET result reaction videos always make me cry. You can imagine yourself in that place exactly some months from now. Watch some. I'm pretty sure they'll make you wanna work hard.

Remember you're not alone. I'm working too. There are 16 lakh another students. Don't worry. Don't take stress.

Ly ❤️

Keep going bby.

#anon ask #mental wellbeing #study motivation #neet ug #motivation #medicine #study hard #studyblr #neet 2022 #productivity

5 notes · View notes

snelbz · 4 years

Text

The Ranch {15}

An A Court of Thorns and Roses, Nesta x Cassian, Modern AU, fanfiction.

Collaboration: @snelbz x @tacmc

Summary: Nesta had spent years in Paris, living her dream and drowning in riches as a gourmet chef, capturing the hearts of the city and its people. But, after her father passes away unexpectedly and leaves his cozy, countryside B&B to his oldest daughter, Nesta is moving back home to the tiny town of Velaris, where the ranch, her sisters, and her father’s unfulfilled dream, awaits.

Sidenote: Being posted between two blogs, it is too chaotic to keep up with a tags list, so all chapters will be tagged with “#TheRanchNessian” & “#SharaCollab”.

Opening day had arrived and Nesta was caught somewhere between puking and a heart attack. She hadn’t slept at all, but she wasn’t tired in the least. Cassian, however, had snored the night away beside her, not caring what day it was. She envied his ability to sleep through chaos.

Although it probably wasn’t chaotic for him.

He didn’t stress about much.

She envied him for that, too.

It was just after five a.m. when Nesta hauled herself out of bed. She did yoga, a simple workout that had been approved by her doctor, then drank a glass of water and a glass of freshly squeezed lemonade.

It was all she wanted, lately.

Lemonade.

Freshly squeezed.

After letting Beau back in the house, she checked the clock, once more. It was nearing nine, and Elain would be showing up, soon, with a haul of bouquets to decorate throughout the main house.

Nesta and Cassian were still staying in the master bedroom. It was easiest as she prepared for the opening, and Nesta was starting to think that it was best, overall. His cabin was small, and so was the house that she occupied on the land. She wasn’t certain how she would feel once guests began checking in, but for now, the master bedroom of the main house had been treating them well.

Nesta planned to dress in a modest sundress and sandals, laying it out to wear, and all the while, Cassian stayed sleeping soundly, Beau snoring once again at his feet.

She didn’t bother to wake him, not yet.

The celebration didn’t begin until one.

As she stood in their bathroom, she pulled the measuring tape around her stomach, which was still flat as could be. She held the tape up, her thumb indicating where the end of the tape had lined up with the tick marks and looked at it.

She had gone down. By four millimeters.

She groaned, sitting down on the edge of the porcelain, and rubbed her fingers into her temples. So far this baby had made her vomit constantly, she hadn’t woken up without a headache in over a week, and she had probably consumed enough lemonade to ensure she’d never need to take a vitamin C supplement again.

And she had nothing to show for it.

Save for her massive, heavy tits.

Cassian had noticed, which, honestly, wasn’t saying much.

She sighed and stepped into the dress, pulling it up and reaching behind to zip it, which wasn’t a problem, until she reached her back.

It wouldn’t zip.

The fucking dress wouldn’t fit over her breasts.

She groaned, staring at herself in the mirror, the dress remaining unzipped.

“Come on,” she said, cursing, trying again at the zipper.

It wouldn’t budge.

“Shit,” she muttered. “Cassian!”

Nothing.

The man slept like a brick.

So, she tried again, louder. “CASS!”

“Hmm? What?” his sleepy words came from the bedroom, and she instantly felt guilty for waking him, but she needed help.

“I need you,” she said, turning around to show the half-zipped back of the dress in the mirror.

A minute later, a bare-chested, sleepy-eyed Cassian padded into the bathroom. He took one look at her and raised a brow. “You look nice.”

“My dress won’t zip,” she snapped.

“It’s your tits,” Cassian mumbled, and Nesta’s lips formed a tight line.

“Yeah, I know,” she snapped. “Help me, please.”

With a sigh, Cassian came up behind her and tugged on the zipper. It moved maybe half an inch, but not anymore than that. “Babe, it’s not going to zip.”

“Well, try harder!” she scolded.

He sighed again, knowing better than anyone not to argue with a pregnant woman, but more specifically not this pregnant woman.

He pulled and pulled and pulled, until he knew it wasn’t going to budge and he looked at her in the mirror. He gently rested his hands on her shoulders and said, “If I zip this dress up, you won’t be able to breathe, and if you do, these gorgeous, amazing, huge breasts are going to make a special guest appearance for our first guests.” He reached around from behind and palmed them through her dress, hoping to at least make her smile.

The scowl she was giving him through the mirror could have frozen Hell itself.

Cassian quickly dropped his hands. “Do you have another dress you can wear?”

“No,” she snapped. “I have very few, appropriate dresses and they’re all this size, in this cut.”

She tugged on the zipper another few times, but there was nothing.

“Fuck!” she cried.

Cassian frowned, trying to pull her into him for a hug, but she wouldn’t let him.

“I need a dress,” she said, hurrying from the room. “I need something.”

“Hello?” Elain’s voice traveled through the house from downstairs.

Cassian let out a breath. “Thank the gods.”

Nesta shot him a look, but he only held his good arm up in surrender.

“Up here!” Nesta growled, frustration still lacing her tone.

Elain was in the doorway a moment later, eyeing Nesta, then a disheveled Cassian. “Something looks off. There’s a situation happening here, isn’t there?”

“My dress won’t zip,” Nesta snapped.

“It’s her tits,” Cassian supplied.

Elain cleared her throat. “Well, let me take a look.”

She walked up behind Nesta and tried the zipper, but it still wouldn’t budge. After digging her phone out of her pocket, she said, “We have a few hours yet. How about I take you into town a minute to find something new?”

“There’s no time! I still have so much to do and I haven’t even started baking and-.” Nesta began to hyperventilate, something she’d never done in her life, but thanks to these damn hormones, something that was triggered nearly every time she cried.

Cassian was there in an instant, his hands framing her face. “Sweetheart, breathe. It’s okay. I can handle everything, except the baking. Go with Elain, pick up a dress that will accommodate your growing...assets, and come back and everything will be ready for you.”

Nesta nodded, wiping away the few tears that had slipped out. She mumbled, “They’re not assets.”

Cassian looked like he wanted to protest, but didn’t. “Go. I will finish the last minute details. When you come back, all you’ll have to do is bake, and I’ll be there to help you with that, too.”

“I do like ordering you around,” she muttered.

“Exactly,” he grinned. “Alright? Go with Elain. I’ve got this.”

She nodded, hesitantly, but didn’t complain. “Okay.”

“Okay,” he breathed, then looked to Elain, thanks in his eyes.

He gave Nesta a slow, soft kiss before she left with her sister, quietly, in her shorts and tank top. Elain helped her into the passenger side of her car, even though Nesta didn’t need help. It was her sister’s way, though, with her gentle spirit.

They drove into town, mostly in silence. She was grateful for her sister, for her gentleness, her caring-ness, her kindness, but she had nothing to say. All Nesta could think about was what Cassian was getting done in her absence.

Elain parked downtown, on the main strip, just next to a little boutique they used to shop at all the time in high school. She followed her sister in and looked at a wall full of sundresses.

“Alright,” Elain said, clapping her hands together. “What are you thinking?”

“Literally anything that fits,” Nesta mumbled.

“Well,” Elain began, picking up a pink floral number that Nesta prayed was for herself and not her. “What size have you been? You don’t exactly need to jump straight into maternity clothes. So we’ll either need to pick a size up or find a more...forgiving fabric.”

Nesta glared at Elain over her choice of words, but she began to flip through the dresses. “I wear a four, so I guess I should look at sixes?” She held a dress up, but the lime green fabric nearly hurt her eyes.

“Or a stretchier four,” Elain reminded her. “How about this?”

She held up a pale yellow dress with a grey pattern stitched in. Nesta made a face of indifference. “Don’t know if yellow is a good color for me.”

Elain nodded. “That’s fair. Yellow isn’t a good color on anybody.”

Nesta chuckled and the two of them set to searching, each finding a few dresses Nesta didn’t absolutely despise.

She tried them on, but refused to show Elain any of them, no matter how much her younger sister protested. At last, she settled on a pale blue dress, reaching just above her knees. The spaghetti straps were decent in holding up the fabric that mostly covered her breasts. She changed into the clothes she had arrived in, claiming it was the one. After paying for it, she dragged Elain from the shop, ordering her sister to take her home.

Elain didn’t argue. She wasn’t one to argue, anyway, but Nesta assumed it was mostly because of her current attitude. Nesta couldn’t apologize, though. She was too pregnant to care about her sister’s wishes, as awful as it sounded.

When Elain was pregnant with Azriel’s spawn, Nesta would react the same.

True to his word, Cassian, with his good arm, was displaying Elain’s bouquets around the house, on every table and shelf. He had also vacuumed and dusted, once more, for good measure. He’d even gotten the things he thought she was most likely to need out on the kitchen island for her, although those things only consisted of sugar and flour.

Elain had made herself scarce, going to find Azriel and promising she’d be back to help as soon as Nesta needed her, and Nesta made her way upstairs, dress bag in hand. She heard the shower running and made her way into their room. The white dress she intended to wear - the one she’d specifically bought for this occasion - was still on the bed where she’d thrown it on her way out. It was next to Cassian’s sling.

She sighed and re-hung it on the plastic hanger and knocked on the bathroom door. Cassian’s muffled reply sounded and she let herself in.

He called over the water, “You find a dress, baby?”

She entered her closet and hung them both up, deciding not to wear the blue dress until after she’d finished baking. “Yeah. But I don’t like it as much as I liked my white one.”

“I’m sure you’re going to look as beautiful as you always do.”

Nesta smiled toward the shower, even though she knew he couldn’t see her. Well, not in-depth, anyways. The frosted glass allowed Cassian to see out just as much as it allowed Nesta to see in. And all she could see was a vast expanse of tan, naked, wet skin.

Gods it has been so long since they’d had sex.

Three more days and Cassian would be off of light-duty, as they’d jokingly started calling it. To the doctors, it meant Cassian was allowed to stop wearing the sling and was allowed to return to work, as long as he continued to have Az do the literal heavy lifting. But to the two of them, it meant the end of a nearly three-week-long dry spell. Longer than they’d had to go since they’d gotten together.

She nibbled on her bottom lip as she said, “Thank you for prepping for the opening.”

“Of course,” he replied, above the water. “Anything I can do to help. It’s nice to feel useful.”

She leaned against the doorframe of the bathroom to say, “The band should be arriving any minute now to set up. I could use a shower, so hurry up.”

“You could use a shower?” Cassian asked, pretending to be oblivious. “Were you inviting yourself? There’s room for two.”

“Three more days,” she warned.

“I can’t even see you naked?” he laughed, his heavy feet turning atop the tile.

Nesta sighed. Of course, he could, but the temptation that came along with such had her toes curling. “Hurry up, Nazari.”

“Join me, Archeron,” he argued. Then, he added, “I promise to be nice.”

Nesta hesitated, but sighed and stripped off her clothes, quickly wiping the remnants of her tear stained makeup off. She tossed two towels on the vanity by the shower, knowing he hadn’t remembered to grab one for himself, and pulled open the door.

The warm steam enveloped her as she stepped in and was face to face with his, well, back. She reached up and traced the ink that swept from his left shoulder blade down the outside edge of his spine. The shiver that went through him had nothing to do with the cool blast of air she’d let in when she’d stepped in, but before he could turn, she’d wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him from behind.

“Do you think people are going to like it?” Her cheek was pressed to his warm back. The question was quiet, barely audible over the water pattering on the tile.

“Like what?” He asked, after a moment.

“All of it,” she breathed. “My dress, my cooking, the opening. The B&B itself.”

He took a moment to respond before turning to meet her, his hazel eyes lit with surprise. His brows were scrunched together as he answered, “Of course they are. Nes, you have worked so fucking hard and you should be so proud at what you’ve accomplished. I know I am.”

She smiled, seeing the truth of his words in his eyes and leaned up to kiss him, pulling back when she was poked in the stomach. “Seriously?”

“It’s been a long few weeks,” he laughed, pulling her against him regardless. He kissed her, his lips still brushing hers. “He’s missed you.”

She laughed, “Oh, it’s him, is it?”

“Yes, him,” Cassian laughed. “I love you, but his obsession with you is an entirely different thing. He’s missed you. Give him some love.”

Nesta rolled her eyes. “Three more days.”

Cassian groaned, his head falling back. “If you tell me that one more time, I’m going to lose my shit.”

“I believe your shit is already lost,” she mumbled, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Just a quickie,” he whispered.

Nesta snorted. “No.”

“Please?” He asked, kissing her forehead, her nose.

“No,” she laughed.

“You have no idea how badly I need to be inside you.” He began to kiss her neck, her shoulder, and she let him, loving the feeling on her skin. “Let me make you feel good, baby. It will help make today easier, I promise.”

His mouth continued his assault on her neck while his hand traveled south, stopping to tug on a peaked nipple, which had Nesta whimpering softly. It continued to move down until it was over her stomach, fingers spread out. “I am so proud of you, sweetheart. You told me you were going to do this the very first day you came back and you did it. I love you so much.” He crouched, the spray of the water on his back, pressing a kiss to Nesta’s stomach. “And I love you. More than I can begin to explain. I can’t wait to meet you.”

Nesta was tearing up again, watching the man before her, this powerful man that put his life on the line for his best friend, for her, talking to their baby.

A knock came at the door. “Uh, Nes! The band is here…”

Cassian was back on his feet as Nesta called, “Be right out!”

“No she won’t!” Cassian followed.

Nesta laughed, rolling her eyes. “You’re going to make Elain uncomfortable.”

“What?” Cassian asked. “She knows I knocked you up, but us showering together is taboo? Yeah, okay.”

Nesta blinked. “Did you just say taboo?”

Cassian was peeking his face out of the glass, as if it helped amplify his voice. “She’ll be right out!”

He wrapped his arms around her one more time, even though he knew their time was short. “Hey,” he whispered, getting her to look up at him. “You’re going to kick ass today. I love you.”

She smiled up at him and rose up on her toes, pressing a kiss to his lips. “I love you, too.”

And he had no doubt. She would.

Twenty minutes later, Nesta was hurrying downstairs, t shirt and shorts on, hair dried but not yet styled, nor was her makeup done, and met Elain talking with the band in the living room.

“Hey, Lucien,” Nesta said, in a rush. “I’m so sorry. Times just gotten away from me today.”

Lucien grinned, and shrugged. “It’s all good. Elain’s organizational skills are coming in handy.”

Nesta winked at her sister. “Good.”

“I heard the news, by the way,” Lucien went on, nodding to Nesta’s stomach. “Congrats.”

Nesta’s smile softened. “Thank you.”

Elain cleared her throat. “So I was thinking we could set the band up over by the new stables. That’s where we’re serving the food, right?” A nod from Nesta while Lucien listened to his best friend’s instructions. “The vendor tables are going to be all along the west pasture edge and…” She looked down at her watch. “The bounce house will be here at twelve-thirty.”

“Great.” Nesta took a deep breath and was thinking through what all she had left to do.

Cassian’s heavy boots came thudding down the stairs, and he appeared around the corner. “Hey, Luce.” He shook his hand. “How’s that shit bag friend of yours that shot me doing?”

Lucien cringed. “I wouldn’t know. I haven’t spoken to him since he was sentenced.”

It had been an emotional day to say the least. They had all been asked to testify, and only Feyre and Nesta had declined. Nesta wasn’t sure her nerves could handle it, didn’t want her baby being flooded with those kinds of endorphins. Feyre told their lawyer she lacked the ability to be subjective.

As one of the intended targets, Rhys would have spoken regardless, but since he had been the one to keep Cassian breathing until they’d gotten him to surgery, his testimony was damning. As were Elain and Azriel’s, though Elain was more of a witness than any direct involvement. Azriel had had to retrace his steps, once in person and once over a map of the property. But all Cassian had to do was answer simple questions. His body, the trauma he’d gone through was evidence enough.

Cassian nodded, opening his mouth to speak, but Nesta cut him off. “Where’s your sling?”

“Come on, Nes, it’s a family fun festival,” he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “We’re a family, we’re gonna have fun, and I’m not doing anything today that requires my sling.”

“Put it on,” Nesta said, turning to go back upstairs and finish getting ready. “Or you’ll regret it. Elain, you got this?”

She gave Nesta a glowing smile and a thumbs up. She lived for party planning and when Nesta had tried to talk a price for helping, Elain had told her she was offended and to not bring it up again.

After walking back into the master bedroom, Nesta padded into the bathroom and started on her makeup. When she was pleased, she stripped off her tee and shorts and pulled on the pale, blue sundress. Outside the windows, she could hear vendors arriving and scurrying about.

Her nerves were going haywire.

It didn’t help that Cassian had yet to come get his sling. Not only did Nesta have to worry about everything else, but she had to worry about him, too.

Nesta slipped on her sandals and unlocked the velvet box on the dresser, where she took out the necklace he had gotten for her. Standing in front of the mirror, she clasped it around her neck.

After grabbing Cassian’s sling off the bed, she was hurrying back downstairs.

She rushed into the kitchen after finding Cassian talking with Rhys, throwing the sling to him and hitting him directly in the face with the wadded up fabric. She tied an apron around her waist and began to whip up the batches she needed for the macaroons she was making.

After about twenty minutes, Feyre rushed in the backdoor. “Sorry, I know I’m late, I’m here!” She set her bags down and hugged Nesta. “I’m so happy for you.” She pulled away abruptly. “Are your tits…bigger?”

She sighed. “Does no one else know what happens to the female body during pregnancy?”

“I’ve learned, recently, first hand,” Cassian said, mouth full of baked goods. He had claimed he was helping Nesta, but he was doing no such thing.

Feyre shot Cassian a bemused look. “What kind of sex life could you two possibly be having right now-.”

“Feyre,” Nesta snapped.

“She’s right, no physical activity,” Rhysand muttered, his mouth also full of Nesta’s baking.

Nesta was rolling her eyes. “Feyre, can you take these two assholes and give them a job to do?”

“Damn,” Rhysand said, just as Cassian muttered, “Watch your language.”

This only earned them both a death stare.

They were instantly on their feet, following Feyre out of the back door.

Nesta sighed, thankful to her sister for giving her the small moment of peace and quiet in what she was expecting to be one of her busiest days yet. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and memorizing the scents around her: the warm, sweet smell of the baking macaroons; the rich, woodsy scent of her childhood home; the earthy scent of the rolling pastures. But there were also subtler smells around her, that were harder to pick up on, but just as important, like the unpleasant, but honestly, not that horrible once you get used to it manure; the hint of bleach and lemon from where she’d spent hours cleaning the kitchen yesterday; the heady pepper and spice scent of the love of her life.

Nesta tried to stop the quiet sob that left her mouth, but her hormones were so crazy. She was just so overwhelmed by where her life was, how happy she was in Velaris when she never thought she could be. She was having the baby she never thought she would with a man she never could have imagined.

And now she was carrying on her father's legacy, his dream. She looked out the window, watched as the flurry of people set up for the celebration that the whole town was invited to.

A celebration for her father, for his dream, for the rebirth of something Nesta once had no interest in, but now put her everything into.

The thoughts running through her mind had her eyes growing misty, but not with tears of sadness, only joy.

After finishing up in the kitchen, Nesta walked out into the backyard, where everything seemed to have been already set up. There were lawn games spread out, the band set up by the stables in the distance, tables laid out where the caterers were setting up the food.

People would be arriving any minute.

“Excuse me, miss?”

Nesta turned to find a woman with a kind, familiar face approaching her. “Hi, welcome to Belles & Blossoms.”

She smiled fondly. “You don’t recognize me.”

Nesta blinked a few times. “Alis? Oh my, goodness! Hi!”

She embraced the sweet woman who’d taken an interest in a surly teenager in a diner, taught her to love cooking, and all manners of it, not just French gourmet.

“I heard you were back and reopening the B&B,” Alis smiled. “We will have to catch up some time so you can tell me all about your adventures.”

“I’d love that,” Nesta agreed. “I went by the diner a few months ago, but you weren’t working.”

“Well, I’m glad I hunted you down,” she chuckled. “Are your sisters here?”

“Somewhere,” Nesta said, looking around. All she could see was Cassian standing by the beer table, helping himself. When he caught her eye, he waved.

He still wasn’t wearing his damn sling.

“You’ll have to excuse me, Alis,” Nesta said, chuckling softly. “The resident thorn in my side is poking me.”

“Cassian Nazari is a nice boy, Nesta,” she said. “He’s been sweet on you for quite some time.”

She spun, looking at her quasi therapist, surprise on her face. “What?”

Alis laughed. “You always had your nose in a book, you never stopped to notice when someone was noticing you. Even all those years ago.”

She winked and headed towards the house, blending with the small crowd that had begun to accumulate. Nesta stared after her, blinking.

“You look lost.”

Nesta jumped, having been lost in her own thoughts, indeed. Cassian was standing behind her, watching her, thoughtfully, a plastic cup filled with beer in his hand.

Nesta’s look of surprise turned into one of frustration. Her eyes narrowed. “Where is your sling?”

Cassian blinked. “I don’t understand the question.”

“Cassian,” Nesta groaned, but he was only laughing.

“I’m fine, alright?” He held up his cup as proof. “Took my pain meds, got my alcohol, even Rhys says it's fine. I promise to put it on as soon as all these people leave.”

Nesta’s lips formed a straight line. “You’re trying to uphold your tough guy image, aren’t you?”

He nodded. “Absolutely, yes. Yes, I am.”

She pursed her lips, trying to keep the smile from forming, but Cassian saw the side of her mouth twitch. He saw the sparkle in her eyes that only came out for him. He wrapped her in both of his arms, holding her tightly and kissed her forehead.

She gazed up at him and smirked, “So what you’re saying is I shouldn’t tell them all how you cried during the end of Eight Seconds?”

His tone was one hundred percent genuine when he said, “He was riding for Lane, Nesta. Even you were tearing up.”

She laughed and leaned up on her toes, kissing him. “Or that you tear up when you tell me stories of what you want to do with our baby? Or when you talk to our baby? Or when you do anything that has to do with our baby?” She was laughing by the end, but silent happy tears were streaming down her own face.

Cassian watched her, absolutely adoring everything about the woman in his arms. He hugged her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head and said, “Okay, you emotional basket case. Let’s go find you some lemonade.”

“I really like lemonade,” she whispered.

She was convinced it was her one true love, as of lately.

Cassian grinned. “I know, sweetheart.”

The entire town began to gather as they walked about the grounds, Nesta sipping on her lemonade as she greeted her guests. She was surprised by the turn out. She had hoped this many people would show up, but to actually watch it unfolding was miraculous.

Cassian was his usually charming self and, true to his word, he seemed to know everyone.

“How are you feeling?” Mor asked, when they’d joined her on the porch. Her plate was piled high with Nesta’s macarons, as well as the barbecue they’d had catered for the event. How she managed to stay so fit but eat as much as she did was a mystery to everyone.

“I’m okay,” Nesta smiled. “The morning sickness is the worst part, not that I can even call it morning sickness. It happens at all hours of the day, with no warning.”

Feyre crinkled her nose. “Between that and your unintentional boob job, I’m beginning to think adoption may be a good fit for me.”

She laughed but Rhysand shook his head. “You told me last night you can’t wait to start having kids.”

She glared at him. “I said start trying to have kids.”

He chuckled. “My mistake.” He kissed the top of her head and headed to meet Az and Cass at the food table, which had apparently become a beer pong table.

Mor asked, “But aside from that, the pregnancy is...normal?”

Nesta laughed. Their friends had all had questions about it, whether or not she needed to take it easy for the next six months. They’d had questions about it, but at her doctor’s appointment the week before, he’d told her to follow the same precautions as a normal, expected pregnancy. It wasn’t staying pregnant that was a problem for Nesta’s body, it was getting pregnant.

She started to reply, but a deep voice behind her asked, “You’re pregnant?”

She turned and found Tomas and a friend on the porch steps. She looked around frantically, trying to locate Cassian in the crowd, or Rhys, Azriel, anyone that was Tomas fucking Mandray. They weren’t at the stables, not with the food. Her phone wasn’t on her. Mor didn’t know Tomas and Feyre and Elain didn’t know how truly deeply her fear of the man ran.

But Nesta nodded before turning her back to him, hoping he’d go away.

He didn’t. “Congrats.”

To anyone else, it would sound genuine, but when Nesta looked back over her shoulder, she saw the gleam in his eye, that familiar gleam, one she loathed with every ounce of her being.

He was pissed.

Years later, and he still thought he had some sort of claim on her.

“Thanks,” she gritted out, through clenched teeth.

“Where’s the dad?” Tomas went on. “Have to congratulate him, too.”

Mor opened her mouth to answer, but Nesta was already saying, “Don't know.”

Tomas nodded, Elain shooting a worried glance at Nesta.

“Well, hopefully I run into him before the days done,” Tomas said, then winked, before walking away.

Nesta’s blood ran cold.

Elain places a gentle hand on Nesta’s knee. “Are you-.”

“I’m going to be sick,” she said, shooting to her feet and heading for the house. She knew her nausea had nothing to do with the child growing inside of her and instead to do with the man that couldn’t accept that she no longer belonged to him and never would again.

She threw herself up the stairs, where no one was, and fell into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. She was on her knees, her skin hitting the tile with such a force that she cried out as she hurled the contents of her stomach into the toilet.

She knew she was crying, knew her makeup was running, and it only grew worse as she thought, I have to get to Cassian.

What if Tomas did find him? Surely he wouldn’t congratulate him, surely he would have other things in mind.

And Cassian was in no condition to hold up his end of a fight.

But a soft knock came to the door.

“Nes?”

Cassian. His deep, calming voice floated through the door.

She tried to speak, but instead, another round of heaving hit her and Cassian tried the knob. “Sweetheart, the door is locked. Are you okay?”

She heard muffled voices from the other side of the door, barely registering that one was female. She tried to say something, anything, but it was as if her voice wouldn’t work. She climbed to her feet on wobbly legs and unlocked the door.

Cassian opened it, finding her with puffy, red eyes, streaks of mascara running down her face, and bruised knees where she’d dropped to the tile.

His gaze fell, heartbreak filling his eyes as he shut the door softly behind him.

“Elain found me, said something happened with Tomas.” His voice was soft, both of his hands cradling her face. Concern lacing his tone.

They had talked about Tomas before, but very little. Enough that he knew what had happened between them, knew the hatred and fear that Nesta felt when it came to her ex.

When Nesta didn’t answer, Cassian pulled her into his chest and held her tightly, closely.

“I hate him,” she whispered.

“I know,” Cassian breathed, rubbing slow circles on her back.

“My face is ruined,” she said, and when she looked at his shirt and saw the mascara stain on it, her frown deepened.

“Makeup can be re-done, shirts can be washed. Not a big deal.” He kissed the top of her head and stooped to pull a makeup wipe out from under the cabinet. He handed it to her and pulled the shirt over his head, wincing slightly as he raised his left arm. Nesta’s eyes were concerned when he looked back at her. “I’m fine, I promise. Just sore. See?”

He went through the motions of the physical therapy Rhys had shown him and Nesta silently watched. The only reason she wasn’t making him put the sling back on is because Rhysand had said it was healing well and he could use the movement to keep it from getting stiff. She sighed and nodded, trying to salvage what she could of her makeup, while Cass leaned on the door frame, watching her. Still shirtless.

Nesta tried not to look at the puckered scar forming on his chest, even if he didn’t seem to have a problem messing with the tender spot.

“It’s all going to be okay,” he whispered, watching her with his arms crossed. They were the same words he had muttered a million times since he’d been shot.

Nesta just nodded, not quite believing them, not quite wanting to protest, either. She dropped the wipe in the wastebasket and met her reflection.

Good enough.

“Perfect,” Cassian said, his voice still low.

Nesta closed her eyes and took a deep breath before meeting his stare. “Okay.”

“Ready?” He asked, holding out his hand.

“I’ll go get you a shirt,” she said, in answer.

Cassian grinned. “What? I can’t go out like this?”

She rolled her eyes. “You’ll start a riot.”

He strolled into his closet and came back out in one of his old faded t-shirts he loved so much. She wanted him dressed a little more nicely, but she decided it didn’t matter what he was wearing. This was their home. Why put on an air that they were anyone but who they really were.

He took her hand, but when he headed for the door, she hesitated, tugging him back lightly. He looked at her.

Her bottom lip was between her teeth. It was a habit he didn’t even think she realized she had, but he knew she was truly worried when that full lip was caught in her teeth. He gently used his thumb to free it and leaned down to press his own lips to hers.

He asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Tomas said he… He wanted to congratulate you, on our pregnancy.” The words were small. Scared.

“Congratulate me?” Cass asked. “That doesn’t sound like him.”

“No, it doesn’t,” she said, taking a breath. The words began to flow out of her in a whoosh of air. “And that’s why it worries me. I don’t know what he wants to do to you, but you’re in no condition to fight, but I also really would prefer not to make a scene at our own grand opening, and-.”

“Nes, baby, breathe.” He rested his hands on her shoulders. “Breathe, sweetheart.” She did as she was told, tamping the hyperventilation down. “Do you really think Azriel and Rhys would let anything happen today? Or anything happen to me?”

She shook her head.

“Stop worrying,” he said, that little smile plastered on his lips. “If it helps, I’ll stay right close by until everyone leaves. Okay?”

“Okay,” she said, smoothing out her dress even though there were no wrinkles. She knew she was overreacting, but she couldn’t help it.

Not today.

It was all too much.

“Do you want to order pizza for dinner?”

Her head snapped up. A night to not cook, a night to eat greasy, cheesy food and just relax? “Please.” Then she added, “And can we watch a bad movie?”

He held her hand as they headed back downstairs and into the crowd. “The worst movie we can find.”

The rest of the afternoon had gone well. They hadn’t seen Tomas again, but Nesta kept Cassian within view until everyone left.

He knew she worried about him, and he didn’t want to cause her anymore stress. She had enough on her plate.

Which is why Cassian was walking up the stairs of the little house, a box of pizza, a giant bottle of lemonade, and a twelve pack of beer in his arms. Since it was the first night of guests in the B&B, they would be spending their more private evenings in one of the little houses. Maggie would be on site from nine in the morning until five in the afternoons, Wednesday through Sunday. The guests all had the emergency number Cassian and Nesta had set up. Everything was going smoothly and he’d even stopped in to check on the guests on his way back to the house.

Tonight, Nesta needed to de-stress.

And Cassian had a few ideas on how to make that happen, starting with junk food and her requested “bad movie”.

The first step of that was already in motion. Nesta had been soaking in the clawfoot tub with a book for the past forty-five minutes while he picked up their dinner.

Beau poked his head out through the newly installed doggy door, not quite used to the weird way he’d been getting in and out of his houses. He gave a short yelp of greeting and Cass tried to get him to come through the flapping door, but after a solid forty seconds of nothing, he gave up and opened the door.

He found Nesta in the kitchen, at the stove and he set the pizza box down on the counter. “I thought you didn’t want to cook.”

“I don’t,” she sighed. “I can’t stop thinking about the smell of mirepoix, even if I don’t have a dish to put it in.”

Cassian walked to the fridge, putting the lemonade and beer in, grabbing one for himself before shutting the door. He looked into the pan. “Onions, carrots, and celery?”

She nodded, taking a deep breath. “And butter and garlic.”

He chuckled, shaking his head.

Her wet hair was bundled on top of her head. Her face was bare, not a stitch of makeup on, and she was wearing one of his old rodeo t-shirts.

He turned her face towards him and softly pressed his lips to hers. “Gods, you are so beautiful.”

Her eyes narrowed but she could stop her small smile. “Stop doing that.”

“Doing what?” Cassian asked, cracking open his can.

“Complimenting me,” she said, simply, taking the giant bottle of lemonade he’d gotten and pressing it straight to her lips.

“No glass?” Cassian asked, amused.

Nesta rolled her eyes. “Why would I waste time with a glass?”

He couldn’t argue with that logic.

He gestured to the pan on the stove. “Do you want to put that on top of your pizza?”

She scrunched her nose. “No, the smell was enough. I’m ready to eat my pizza though.” She was eyeballing the box and Cassian laughed.

She started to clean up the kitchen and he put the pizza in her hands and said, “Go. Sit. Eat. I’ll handle this.”

Nesta smiled and did exactly that, while Cass put the cooked vegetables in a bowl to cool down. Looks like Beau was going to be getting a good meal tonight.

Eventually, Cassian finished up with the kitchen and joined Nesta on the couch. After a fierce debate about what exactly fits the parameters of being a “bad movie” and genuine offense from Cassian when Nesta picked one of his favorite childhood movies, they finally agreed on a cheesy romantic comedy and Nesta was asleep on Cassian’s chest almost immediately. He turned the tv down and changed it to roping highlights, scrolling through his phone. His good arm was still around her, but he was able to do what he needed with his left arm.

After about an hour, even he was tired from the day’s festivities. When his eyelids slid shut of their own accord for the third time, he knew it was time to move to the bed.

“Nes,” he whispered, peppering her brow with soft kisses. “Wake up.”

She stirred, but whimpered, forehead creasing as she frowned in her sleep.

“Nesta, wake up, sweetheart.” He gently shook her.

She gasped, eyes wide. “Where is he?”

He framed her frantic face with his hands. “He’s not here, baby. It was a bad dream.”

She was still breathing hectically, eyes searching everywhere, from shadows in the corners to the hallway behind them. “Bad dream?”

“Just a bad dream.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Come on, let’s go to-.”

The sound of glass shattering filled the small house and Nesta screamed. Cassian immediately pulled her into himself and covered her body with his.

Beau was barking, but the shattering had stopped. And once Beau realized they weren’t under attack, he quieted down, too, going to sniff at the middle of the room.

The silence was disconcerting. Nesta was quietly crying into Cassian’s chest and he unwound her fingers from in his shirt. He stood, following Beau to where he sniffed. He was careful not to step on the glass, picked Beau up before he could do the same, and herded a shaking Nesta into the bedroom. He calmed her down before coming back out and inspecting the item that had shattered not only serenity of their night, but also their front window.

A brick, with one, solitary word scrawled in baby blue paint:

Congratulations.

#the ranch nessian #theranchnessian #shara collab #sharacollab #snacmc #tacmc snelbz collab #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf

264 notes · View notes

babbysquid · 3 years

Text

Not A Whiskey Drinker Pt. 6

Author’s Note: Okay so I had to add a little Pedro easter egg in this chapter so keep your eyes out for that. Also tension between Whiskey and reader rises in this part!

Also hi! I’m back! I’ve been dealing with a lot the past couple months hence the silence but I’m back and planning on still working on NAWD. I can’t promise consistent uploads but I’ll try my hardest. Hope you guys understand ❤️

Warnings: cursing, suggestive comments, A KISSS????

Word Count: 1,821

Not A Whiskey Drinker Masterlist

------------

Although you had nothing to do til your “meeting” with Whiskey at 9, you decided that you would still do a mini workout in the morning. Instead of your standard 6am with Whiskey you opted for a reasonable 8am. You walked into the sparring room and taped up your hands, prepping yourself for some boxing practice. Before you started you hit shuffle on the music app on your phone, sound blaring through the speaker and filling the room. Losing yourself in the music you started hitting the flat of your knuckles into the punching bag in front of you.

Around 10am Whiskey strode through the halls of the Statesman office. Walking by the sparring room he stopped and looked through the window. The faint sound of music came through the thin glass. He watched as you rhythmically hit the punching bag, your form was perfect. Whiskey smiled, proud of the progress you had made in only a few short days.

He opened the door to the sparring room and was immediately hit with a wall of music, lyrics loud and bass thumping in his ears. Thanks to the volume you didn’t realize that Whiskey was standing in the room, leaning against the closed door and watching.

A minute later the song ended and you stopped, pausing the music to get a drink of water. Whiskey cleared his throat, causing you to jump at the sound.

“Wouldn’t wanna be that punching bag.” said Whiskey.

“Whiskey you are a punching bag.” Once again he placed his hand over his heart and repeated the phrase he so loved to tell you,

“You’re breaking my heart darlin’.”

You just rolled your eyes and started hitting the bag again, this time the only sound that filled the room was the smack of your fists on the bag.

“I like the song that was playing. What’s it called?”

“Fire and Gasoline by Sia.” you said between grunts.

“Good lyrics, kinda sexy.”

You stopped, holding the bag so it wouldn’t swing. You thought about the music video for the song and the handsome man that starred in it, his face eerily similar to Whiskey’s.

------------

You looked yourself over in the mirror in your room. You put on the dress that you brought with you and some comfortable shoes. The dress was shorter than your standard work skirts and dresses and showed off a little more skin. Hopefully it would help with the whole seduction thing. You chuckled softly to yourself.

The more I learn about Statesman the more similarities between this and cliche spy movies — down to the seduction as a tactic, you thought.

Taking a deep breath and squaring your shoulders back you made your way to the bar located on the Statesman property. You were mentally going through different ways you could get information out of Whiskey. Apparently Whiskey was posing as head of firearms cartel, smuggling illegal weapons into the states. You weren’t sure exactly what information you were trying to obtain, but you were determined to get information nonetheless.

Walking into the bar you quickly scanned the room to see if Whiskey was already there. Low and behold Whiskey was sitting in the back at a table nursing a whiskey, no surprise there. You smirked as he looked up from his drink and made sure you swayed your hips as you made your way to the bar.

You ordered a drink and slowly sipped at it, occasionally looking back to Whiskey’s table. He had been staring at you the entire time. Downing the rest of your drink you ordered a second one. You needed some liquid courage to do this.

Go time.

Picking up your drink you sauntered over to Whiskey’s table.

“This seat taken cowboy?” you asked, nodding your head towards the empty chair.

“It is now.” Whiskey’s eyes lit up as you slid into the seat across from him.

“Now I gotta ask, is it true that everything’s bigger in Texas?” you took a sip from your drink, licking the alcohol off your lips.

“Oh darlin’ I ain’t from Texas, but I assure you I’m just as big as they are in Texas.” he winked, eyes glancing down at your lips.

“Tell me about yourself Mr.?”

“Pascal.” Whiskey reached out his hand and you grabbed it, but before you could shake his hand he brought it to his lips and softly kissed your knuckles.

“Well Mr. Pascal you’re quite the charmer. Tell me, what does a modern day cowboy do for work?”

Get him to talk about himself, focus the conversation on him.

“I’m a businessman and yourself darlin’?”

Quickly you wracked your brain for a suitable job. PA was too easy and you wanted to pick something that you could easily spew information about, but still didn’t draw too much attention.

“Getting my masters in art history.”

Thankfully your mother worked at a museum as curator and you’d picked up plenty of information from her over the years.

“Attractive and smart. Just how I like ‘em.”

“Mr. Pascal you flatter me.” you said, reaching out to playfully swat his hand. “But tell me about you. I’m sure you’re quite a successful businessman.”

“Ah well,” Whiskey rubbed his neck with his hand. “I do my best.”

Was Whiskey blushing?

“I deal with quite valuable products and the transference of them.”

This information you knew, so there was no reason to press him about that.

“Are you able to travel a lot for work?” you took another sip, looking at Whiskey over the rim of your glass.

“Places far and wide for certain.”

“What’s your favorite place you’ve been?”

Whiskey took a drink and pondered the question. You were certainly doing a good job, asking the right questions but not prodding too much. The seduction aspect was certainly impressive too, if he wasn’t already attracted to you he’d certainly be into you by now.

“Macau. Definitely was an interesting time.”

Hook, line, and sinker.

“I’m sure it was Mr. Pascal.”

“I never caught your name darlin’.”

“Mel.” you said, giving him a random name.

“Well Miss Mel, I’d love to get to know you better. As much as I like the drinks at this establishment I have quite the whiskey collection back at my house.”

You smiled, putting your glass down.

“As much as I’d like that Mr. Pascal I’m afraid I’m not a whiskey drinker.”

“Ah well, maybe you’ll learn to love it.” he said, winking at you.

You smiled and pushed your chair back to leave, having gotten the information you needed.

“You did good darlin’.” came Whiskey, making you stop. “Got valuable information through some sweet talking. I’m impressed.”

You turned to face Whiskey. He was sitting back in his chair, arms crossed, a smile on his face.

“Men are all the same, makes it easy for me.” you said with a shrug, sitting back in the chair.

“I was serious about my offer.”

“What offer?” you cocked your head, confusion crossing your face.

“My place. Now I know you’re not a whiskey drinker but I did notice your penchant for gin and tonics and I like to think I’m quite the bartender. If you’ll let me that is.”

Whiskey was serious. He wanted you to come to his place. Admittedly the thought sent warmth spreading across your body. Images of Whiskey walking through his room shirtless, sweatpants hanging low on his body and hair tousled ran through your mind. Blinking you shooed the image away. You did love a gin and tonic though…

“Fine. No funny business.”

“Sugar I’m a cowboy not a rodeo clown.”

------------

You and Whiskey made your way back to his room in the secret HQ. Stepping in you realized that he had a completely different set up than yours. While your room only had the bedroom and the small adjoining bathroom, he had a full bar and living room as well.

“If you keep that mouth open any longer you’ll start catching flies.” said Whiskey, his hand coming to rest on the small of your back. “Perks of being a senior agent.”

Whiskey motioned to the couch that sat in the middle of the room as he made his way to the bar. He shucked off his leather jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. You couldn’t help but stare at the veins that trailed along his forearms. A look of concentration came across his face as he measured out the proper ingredients for the drinks, his arms and hands flexing. As you watched Whiskey work you were entranced. He looked up as he added a finishing garnish to the drinks and caught your eye, returning your gaze with a wink.

“Darlin’.” he said, placing a drink in your hand and raising his glass to meet yours.

You gave him a silent nod and took a sip, a soft moan escaping your mouth. You were too focused on how good the drink was to notice Whiskey almost choking on his.

“Okay I admit, that’s a damn good gin and tonic.”

“I don’t like to brag unless it’s warranted.”

“Oh shut up you show pony.” snorting at the man.

The next thirty minutes were filled with the most civil exchanges between you and Whiskey since he came to your rescue in the park, the two of you were getting along. Neither of you were paying attention, but over the half hour both of you ended up closer and closer to each other on the couch. At this point your knees were practically touching.

“Right in front of me!” Whiskey was telling you one of the many stories where his attempt at using seduction did not go as planned.

You laughed at failure of Whiskey and his escapades, your hand lightly smacking his chest and resting there. He placed his hand over yours and looked in your eyes, licking a drop of his drink from his bottom lip. You felt your stomach flip. You knew his eyes were brown but they had a level of dimension you had never noticed before. Had his mustache always been that perfectly groomed? And his lips—

You snapped yourself out of it, realizing how close you were to kissing your boss, your boss that you did not like.

“Uh it’s getting pretty late I should get going. Thank you for the drink.” you said, removing your hand from his chest. Giving him a small smile you left his quarters and made your way back to your smaller room.

As the door closed behind you Whiskey slumped into his couch and let out a deep sigh. He knew it was wrong to have feelings for someone who he’d known for essentially two weeks but there was something about you that he couldn’t help but fall for. He had his chance in the park but he didn’t take it. Maybe this was the universe giving him a second chance with you.

taglist: @absurdthirst @space-daddy-owns-me @agentwhiskeypussyindulgence @littlemissoblivious @agingerindenial @mack4676 @loveforminato @thats-one-tender-foot @xwingsandohs @purplepascal042 @harami-mami @nova646 @lesbianlena @computeringturtle @cassandras-nest @fourtypercent0ff @demoneyesanddamagedsouls @whatsthatmysterioustickingnoise

#not a whiskey drinker #NAWD #agent whiskey #agent whiskey x reader #agent whiskey x you #jack daniels #jack daniels x reader #jack daniels x you #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you

16 notes · View notes

kyber-crystal · 4 years

Text

Always Close By

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Words: ~3.1k hehe kinda long

Summary: In which even the mightiest of superheroes aren’t immune to sickness, and when Steve falls ill, you end up babysitting him.

Warnings: none, just steve being a big baby ahaha

Sleep had never really come easily to you. Your insomnia had been a consistent issue since before you first joined the Avengers, so days like these in which you mindlessly wandered around the compound downing two or three cups of coffee and eating granola bars weren't uncommon.

You hadn't gotten a wink of sleep all night yet for some reason, weren't feeling drowsy like you usually did when you stayed up. This time Sam and Bucky were also awake with you, and the three of you switched between playing Mario Kart and Animal Crossing to kill time.

One by one the rest of the team began to wake up and you and Wanda decided to start preparing breakfast. After everyone had finished eating you'd noticed Steve still hadn't come out, and decided to go check up on him.

"Steve?" you knocked carefully on his bedroom door as to not disturb him. "It's time for breakfast."

You didn't get a proper reply but heard a light groan in response, deciding to go inside after several more attempts.

He was buried under his covers, forehead glistening with a cold sweat and his dirty-blonde hair disheveled. When he looked up to meet your gaze you noticed his cheeks were flushed a bright red from heat, and were immediately concerned at the sight.

"Hey," you said softly, carefully approaching him. "You okay?"

Steve just shivered and shook his head.

"What happened?"

"Don't know."

You brought a palm up to his forehead and were alarmed by how hot it felt, hissing at his feverishness as you pulled your hand back. "You're burning up."

"I'll be fine, don't worry," he chuckled, but his laugh turned into a coughing fit. "I'm, just, fine."

"You're coming down with a fever," you stated. "I thought you couldn't get sick."

"Apparently, I can," he coughed, "But it's just a simple flu. I'll be back to normal before you know it. We have our weekly sparring showdown tonight, right? I can't miss out on that."

Despite the calm tone in his voice, you still weren't convinced. The thermometer read a whopping 105.6 degrees and from what you knew, that meant you had to get medical help right away.

"No, you're not. Your body temperature is abnormally high. You're staying in bed," you ordered, then sighed. It was hard not to go soft at those puppy dog eyes, but you knew denying him from being able to do any strenuous physical activity was for the best.

"Can you please speak more quietly," Steve whispered, "I have a migraine."

"I'm sorry," you were quick to lower your voice, "hey...how did this even happen to you? Did you eat anything weird?"

"Food poisoning?"

"No, that can't be. We all ate takeout together for dinner last...shit, shawarma." Your eyes widened in realization. "Dammit, it is."

"Language," he said weakly.

"You're staying in bed for today, alright?" you gave him a stern look.

"I'm not completely disabled, I can stand. Just let me go get some breakfast and afterwards I'll come right back to bed."

"Fine."

You gripped his forearm to help him stand up and his arm immediately went around your waist. You weren't sure whether the heat radiating off him was from his fever or from the way he generally made you feel. Brushing the thought off, you helped him to the kitchen.

"Damn, Cap. What happened?" Sam raised a brow at his friend's appearance.

"I think Tony poisoned him," you shot the billionaire a death glare. "I knew something was up with that shawarma place."

"Then how come none of us are sick?" Tony questioned. "We all had the same thing."

"No, we didn't. Steve and I were the only ones who specifically ordered the chicken shawarma. You guys took kebabs."

"Then why aren't you sick?"

"I don't know."

Steve pulled up a chair to the kitchen island, immediately laying his head on the cool marble counter and closing his eyes.

"Hey, Cap, you think you can try and stomach this? You need to eat or your condition will get worse," Pepper urged as she pushed a plate of scrambled eggs and French toast towards the super-soldier. He pulled himself back up into a sitting position and took a bite out of his toast, but quickly set it down after a wave of nausea washed over his body and he bit back a gag.

He tried to stand up and stumbled, but you and Bruce were quick to catch him by his shoulders.

"Cap? Are you okay?" the scientist asked gently. "Steve."

He shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut and grasping your waist tightly as he grew lightheaded, the world around him beginning to spin rapidly.

You lowered his head onto your lap as Wanda gave you a cold towel, and you pressed it to his sweaty forehead as you ran your other hand through his hair.

"We should get him back to his room, then I'll go get the treatments," Bruce explained as you tried to pull him back up, which was a lot harder than it seemed. "Then we'll figure it out from there."

"Jeez, how heavy are you," you said as you tried helping him to his feet. "I swear you're twice my weight..."

"172," he replied plainly.

"Feels a lot heavier than that. Thought you were at least 200 with all that broad muscle," you grunted as Bucky came forward to help you, and Steve slung his arms around both your shoulders.

Once you led him to his room, Steve lazily crawled back into bed and you pulled the covers over him. It didn't take long before he fell asleep, breathing steadier than before though it still sounded somewhat plugged.

“You sure you’re okay staying here with him?” Bucky raised an eyebrow at you. “If you’re tired too, I can step in if you want.”

“It’s fine, I can handle it. But thanks,” you yawned, waving him off. “Now go and...kick Sam’s ass in Mario Kart so I can face off against you later.”

“You got it,” he ruffled your hair before leaving the room.

You pulled out your phone to check the time, and sighed. 9:17.

I know I had a workout video scheduled to be posted, guys, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to have it up today, you typed out a quick message to your Twitter. Steve’s sick and I’m having to take care of him. Hope you all understand <3

Almost immediately, the replies came flooding in.

Awww we love a supportive teammate/gf

Couple goals uwu

Get better soon, Cap!

You smiled to yourself, setting your phone on Steve’s nightstand and running your hand through his hair again. He did look rather peaceful while asleep - and not to mention, flawless, with a face looking like it was sculpted by the Greek gods themselves. Times in which you saw him in a state like this were extremely rare, so you treasured every little moment you got. Between co-commanding missions with you, filing reports, and countless meetings with SHIELD officials (you let him doodle on your hand as he half-listened to the lectures), he was restless.

You didn’t know when or how you fell asleep, but when you woke up streams of bright light were filtering in through the windows, the sun high in the sky. You groaned and pushed yourself out of bed, gently laying Steve’s head against his pillow before standing up and shuffling down the hall to the kitchen.

“What time is it?” you rubbed your eyes with your sweater’s sleeve. “How long was I out for?”

“1:45. You want lunch? You hardly ate in the morning,” Rhodey pushed a plate towards you. “You’ve been asleep for roughly four hours, Y/N.”

You pulled your phone out again - the weather outside was apparently a breezy 68 degrees. The fact that it wasn’t even hot outside, but Steve was sweating profusely, made you concerned.

You let out a satisfied sigh as you bit into the sandwich (courtesy of Vision’s cooking), practically inhaling it in just a couple of bites. “Did any of you guys come down with symptoms...?”

“No, but you’ve been exposed so I’d advise that you take this,” Bruce handed you a small, blue pill. “It should keep you from catching Steve’s bug.”

You nodded and swallowed the pill down without even bothering to drink anything. “Alright.”

Just five minutes passed before your phone buzzed on the table. You were quick to answer, holding it up to your ear.

“Y/NNNN.”

“Steve? What do you need? Are you okay? When did you wake up?”

“A few minutes ago...I threw up and then went back to bed, but I couldn’t fall back asleep-”

“Oh, god. Hold on a second, I’ll be right there,” you promptly ended the call and got out of your seat, pushing the chair in before rushing down the hall to his room.

The super-soldier was sitting up in bed when you arrived, sweat streaming down his forehead as he leaned against the headboard, cheeks flushed a bright red. “Y/N-”

“Hey hey hey, it’s okay, I’m here, what do you need? Water? Ice?”

“I feel horrible.”

You brought your hand up to his forehead again, and immediately jerked it away. “You’re still running a really high f...dammit, have you taken any medicine?”

“No...”

“Stay right here, I’ll go get some-”

“Don’t leave me,” he begged hoarsely as he reached out to grab your wrist. You felt a twinge in your chest at that damn pleading look in his eyes. “Please don’t leave me.”

You let out a sigh of defeat. “...I’ll have Bucky bring the medicine then, okay?”

“Mhmmm.”

It turned out, taking care of a sick super-soldier was a lot more difficult than it seemed. You initially thought that with the serum in his veins, that Steve couldn’t get sick - but for some reason it only amplified his symptoms. Damn that shawarma.

After alerting FRIDAY, Bucky appeared holding a glass of ice water in his metal hand and a small bottle of some medication in the other.

“How ya feelin’, punk?”

“Hey, jerk...” Steve said weakly, “Why is there two of you standing in front of me?”

“He’s getting worse, Y/N...” he looked genuinely worried, his gaze flickering between you and Steve. “...I gotta go now so I won’t get sick...but Y/N will take care of you. Got it?”

“Mhmm.”

As soon as Bucky left you popped open the bottle. “Hey. Drink this.”

“It smells disgusting,” Steve scrunched his nose up in distaste.

“You need to or you’ll only get worse. Now come on,” you urged. He turned his head away to avoid drinking the strong-smelling liquid. “Stop acting like such a big baby. For Odin’s sake, just drink it.”

“No.”

“Do you want to keep feeling like this?”

“No.”

“Then drink the medicine! It’s not that hard.”

“No.”

“Steven Grant Rogers,” you said sternly. “Drink. It. I’m not going to repeat myself again.”

Your sudden firm tone of voice took him by surprise. “Fiiiine.”

He took the bottle from your hands and tilted his head back, gulping it down within seconds. As soon as he finished he made a face.

“There. That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“It was.”

You pulled your chair closer to his bedside, propping your hand on your chin as you observed him. “Still feeling nauseous?”

“Mhmmm.”

“If you throw up, you’re gonna have to take this all over again. You don’t want that to happen, do you?”

“No..I don’t wike it.”

You chuckled lightly. “I know. It’s for your own good, you know that, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Let’s wait for a bit, and if you’re feeling well enough, I can make some onion soup for you, okay? How does that sound?”

“Amazing. I love your soup. Why don’t you cook more often?”

“Just never really considered it,” you shrugged.

Steve rubbed his eyes, subconsciously reaching over to grab your hand, his thumb gently brushing over your knuckles. You felt your breath hitch in your throat. He then lifted your hand up to his face and pressed your palm to his flushed cheek, leaning into your touch.

You swallowed hard as you allowed yourself to stare again at his messy-haired, exhausted figure. Your chest ached. The things you were willing to do for him... god, you loved him so much...

“...Why are you staring?” he mumbled, glancing over to meet your worried eyes. “What’s that look on your face? Y/N...are you okay?”

You inhaled sharply. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

His brows furrowed together and he gave you a look that told you he didn’t believe what you said at all. “Sure you are.”

“I’m just worried about you.”

“You’re acting like these are my final moments and that I’m going to die soon. Stop worrying so much.”

“This is coming from the person who waited eight hours straight for me to undergo surgery after that Belarus case?”

“Uh huh.”

Several moments passed in silence before he spoke up again. “Thanks for taking care of me...I’m sorry for being a big baby. I didn’t want to burden you.”

“It’s alright,” you reassured him, “you’re not a burden at all.”

You ended up watching The Empire Strikes Back that afternoon, his head in your lap and you running your fingers through his soft hair. At one point in the movie he began to drift off, and you carefully slid yourself out of bed.

He stirred awake again, reaching for you. “Y/NNNN.”

“I’m gonna go make the soup for you. Rest up and if you’re feeling well enough, then shower and come out to the kitchen, okay?”

“Alright.”

“He doin’ better?” Rhodey raised an eyebrow at you.

“Fever’s gone down a bit but the nausea’s still there,” you exhaled as you began grabbing the necessary ingredients, “hey, uh, Pietro, can you go down to the cellar and grab some white wine?”

The speedster nodded and in a flash, he had the bottle in his hands. “Here.”

“Thank you.”

“Where’s Cap right now?” Sam questioned.

You heard the water running and replied, “Taking a shower. He’s been sweating like the Amazon.”

With Pietro’s help and your additional powers, you finished up the soup that was supposed to take an hour in just twenty-five minutes. By the time you were setting the bowl along with some bread onto a plate, Steve was hobbling into the kitchen, hair wet and messy with a towel hung around his neck. The tight T-shirt he changed into showed off his toned figure, and you almost dropped your glass of water at the sight.

His eyes immediately lit up upon seeing the food, and he leaned over to kiss your forehead. “I love you. You’re the best.”

“I know.” You winked and took a seat next to him. The team smirked at the flirty exchange.

Surprisingly enough, he had the entire thing finished under five minutes so that you had to give him a second serving, which he basically inhaled in two giant gulps.

“You were hungry, huh.”

“After throwing up yesterday’s dinner, yeah.”

You shot Tony a pointed glare. “Thanks a lot, Stark.”

“I’m sorry!” he exclaimed, and held his phone up. “Look, I called them earlier while you were asleep and they gave us a full refund.”

“Fine. Apology accepted.”

Steve’s migraines started acting up again and you were forced to help him back into bed (with Bucky’s assistance, of course). After spending all day hovering over him, you fell asleep as well, a mere thirty seconds after he did.

...

When you came to the next morning, you felt an arm tighten around your waist and a sleepy groan coming from right next to you. You slowly opened your eyes and realized you were curled up against him with a hand resting against his chest, your legs intertwined together as he held you tightly to him. A breath of relief escaped your lips when his face no longer looked alarmingly pale and his cheeks weren’t bright red.

Steve woke up a few seconds later, giving you a sleepy smile as his grip around you tightened.

"Mornin', doll," he said in a husky voice that made you almost swoon. But then he too, realized what was going on and quickly snapped out of it. "What- oh my God, I’m sorry-”

“Are y’all fully dressed in there? Wanda made her famous French toast feast for breakfast so if you don’t get yo asses out here I’m eating your food!” Sam yelled as he pounded on the door.

"Just a minute!” you shouted back in reply as you and Steve sprung apart, and swung your legs over the edge of the bed and grabbed a pair of clothes before heading to the bathroom to change.

“What the hell, Y/N, you actually slept for sixteen consecutive hours? I’ve never seen you do that before?”

“Huh? What time is it?”

“8:07. And why are you wearing Steve’s shirt?”

“What do you mean? I’m not...” you trailed off on your sentence and looked down to see that you were in fact, wearing one of Steve’s shirts. “...Oh.”

“Did you two...”

“No!”

“Cute,” you heard someone chuckle lowly from behind you and turned around to see a smirking Steve with his arms crossed over his chest.

“So I see now that you’re okay, you’re acting all cocky again, hm?” you raised an eyebrow at the super-soldier. “Guess those meds finally wore off.”

He just chuckled in response and pulled him towards you, engulfing you in a tight, hug.

“Let me go!” you squealed, squirming against his tight grip as the team watched in amusement. “I need to eat breakfast! Let me go!”

“Only if you say the words, sweetheart.”

“Let me go right this instant! I’m serious!” you began laughing uncontrollably. “Steve! Let me go!”

“Not until you say it.”

“Fine! I love you and you’re my favorite Avenger!” He released you from his arms and you brushed your shirt off. “There, happy?”

Steve laughed again, that same damn smirk on his face. “I didn’t know you could get flustered, Y/N.”

“I’m not flustered,” you muttered.

“Your face is like a tomato!” Peter exclaimed. “You wouldn’t look like that if you weren’t. Mr. Stark, looks like I owe you twenty.”

“Peter, did you make a bet with Tony again?” You frowned.

“Yep! We bet when we’d finally figure out you liked Cap and he bet within the next week, while I said three weeks.”

“Oh my god.”

213 notes · View notes

prettyguardiankore-blog · 3 years

Text

Their Return (Levi x Fem!Reader)

Chapter 9

(updated completely on my ao3!)

… 47 ... 48 ... 49… . .50! You let out a labored exhale as you collapsed onto the floor, muscles aching. You used to be able to pump out 100 like nothing, and now, it took you twice as long, and you could barely muster 50. This decided it. You were going to start training again. It unnerved you knowing you were this weak. You groaned as you slowly pulled yourself up from the ground, wincing slightly as your muscles pulled. You glanced down at your chest. Boob sweat. Nice. You reached over to the bench for your towel and began wiping yourself down.

They had left in the morning. You hadn’t slept much, and after a restless slumber, you woke up and peered out of your window, to see a flurry of Scouts pouring out of the castle's main gate. It had been raining.

📷

Most of your morning had consisted of you curled up under your covers, desperately trying to return to sleep, so you wouldn’t think about the expedition. Although, it quickly became evident it wouldn’t work- being in your room doing absolutely nothing was a more tortuous task than you’d anticipated. After realizing that being alone with your thoughts wouldn't do, you began to pack your morning with anything and everything you could to pass the time. So far you’d updated the library catalog, dusted the shelves, helped the cooks clean the kitchen (a task that had earned you a small basket of fruits, which you graciously accepted.), and watered some plants. Hell, you’d even cleaned your room, the filthy mess it was. And now you’d just finished a workout. You looked at your watch. It’d been about two hours since you’d come into the training room. That should be good for today, you decided, so you gave yourself one last wipe down before shutting the door, and heading back to your room.

You needed a shower. You stunk, bad. As you entered your room, you marveled once again in how spacious the floor actually was when it wasn’t covered in shit, and headed to the bathroom, removing your sticky sports bra and exercise shorts, and popping yourself into the cool water. They should be returning soon, you thought, as you scrubbed your scalp. Occupying yourself with busywork hadn’t actually done much to calm your nerves, it only distracted you. All day you’d been thinking about them. How many of them would return? If any of them would return... You felt a lump rising in your throat as you clasped your hand over your lips to stop their trembling. You’d never been so emotional. Hange and Moblit had gone on plenty of expeditions, so why were all these fears resurfacing now? You shut off the water and stepped out of the shower to begin getting ready. It was probably because of Furlan. Your chest grew heavy as you replayed through your own memories. The last conversation I had with him reminded me so much of her … you slapped your cheeks. Stop projecting. It wasn’t fair to Furlan or Marla, and it certainly wasn’t doing your mental wellbeing any justice. You sighed, and returned your attention to getting ready. You didn’t want to take too long, so you put your hair up as quickly as you could, threw on a simple sundress your mother had sewn for you ages ago, and headed out the door. You couldn’t wait any longer, and they should be arriving back soon.

You decided to just wait at the top of the tower until you saw them entering Wall Rose. You’d done basically everything you could to pass the time at this point, so all there was left to do was to wait. You stepped up the narrow stairs, and popped into the area. ★Cold air immediately hit your face, and you shivered. I should’ve brought a jacket, you grimaced, rubbing your arms. You’d forgotten how cold it could get up there. You perched yourself onto the wall's edge and peered down below. Everything looked so small from up there.

Jump off.

You blinked, before slowly removing yourself from the edge. Let’s not get into that right now. ★ You stared mindlessly out into the city, until eventually, you noticed something.

📷

You stared out near the gate. You couldn’t see much, but at the very least from where you stood, you could make out a large group of people accumulated near the entrance. You twiddled your thumbs nervously together. It would be around half an hour before they made it back to the castle. So now you had to wait again. You groaned, and slumped your forehead into your palms. You almost wished you hadn’t seen them enter the wall, because now your restlessness had increased tenfold. So you just stood there, eyes closed tightly shut, waiting. The wind brushed against your face. I wonder if the wind is whistling right now. After what seemed like years, you shot a glance over the wall. Your eyes widened. They were back. You shot up and bolted over the door and began running through the castle. All the pent up energy you’d accumulated throughout the day was bursting out of you as you rushed out to go wait by the main gate. You didn’t want to actually talk to them, aside from Hange, most soldiers weren’t very chatty upon their return, rightfully so. So you weren’t entirely sure how you’d go about checking up on everyone without being annoying. Eventually, you settled on waiting by a pillar. When you spot Hange, you’d pull them from the crowd, and ask them how it went. So that’s what you did. You hid yourself behind the tall stone pillar, peeking out from behind it. You squinted your eyes. You couldn’t see them at all. Come on, where are they? You thought, chewing your lip pensively. As you scanned the crowd, you suddenly felt someone grab your sides from behind, and you jumped about a foot into the air, before quickly turning around. You were met with Hange grinning at you, and Moblit standing to their left, shooting you an apologetic look.

You shot a look back to the crowd, and then back to the, jaw dropped open.“H-How did you-”

“You’re not slick you know. Everyone could totally see you.”

“I wasn’t trying to- Well- ”

You didn’t know where you were going with that, so you clamped your mouth shut. You looked back at them, and you realized something. They were standing right in front of you. They weren’t corpses left behind, or being carried on the wagon. There was no one else standing in front of you, telling you with an averted gaze that they didn’t make it. They were right here. Tears began forming in your eyes.

“Oh dear! You’re crying? What’s been up with you recently? Are you going through puberty again?” they chuckled.

“Hange, don’t tease her.” Moblit scolded lightly, before turning back to you, and giving you a kind, but tired smile. He reached over and gently pat your head. “Don’t worry, we’re back.”

You nodded, clenching your jaw tightly to prevent your entire face from trembling.

“Ah, you're just like a little kid.” they smiled pulling you in for a hug. You weren’t big on physical affection, but as they held you, you found yourself craving their touch, and furrowed yourself deeper into their embrace, closing your eyes. A strange warm feeling was blossoming in your chest. It was lovely.

Suddenly you felt another warm feeling in your body, but this wasn’t the feeling of love. It was the feeling of embarrassment. That didn’t take long. You’d come over blubbering like a baby, and had collapsed into their arms. They were probably tired from the expedition, and you were just giving them more to worry about. At once, you felt very uncomfortable. You slowly pulled yourself from their arms and stood, back straight, clearing your throat.

“Sorry. Maybe I am going through puberty again. That would explain a lot.” you chuckled.

“Don’t worry about it.” they said gently. You nodded bashfully. ”How did it go?” you asked.

“Well, we did fine.” they said, turning back to Moblit. “But the rain was really horrible. That, in combination with the new formations we weren’t as familiar with... resulted in a lot of us getting separated. We were fine, but I don’t know about everyone else.” they said, frowning.

“At the very least, we're all accounted for. No one's missing.” Moblit chimed in.

“I see. Well, I’m glad you two are okay.” you said, softly. “Really glad.”

“We could tell.” they teased. You shot them an annoyed look, and cleared your throat.

“By the way, have you seen Levi’s squad at all?” you asked, turning to face Moblit. He looked up, thinking.

“I haven’t. Because we got separated, we ended up turning back at different times. I think we were the last group.” He said, with a shrug. “But they should be back in their barracks at this point, if you want to go check up on them.”

You fiddled with your dress, and shot your eyes down to your feet. You were finally about to find out what happened to them. It was strange. As much as you wanted to rush over and check on them, the ever looming possibility of some of them not being there also made you want to lock yourself away in your room and never come out. But you were going to have to find out eventually, and waiting if you waited any longer you might die from the stress.

“Thank you, Moblit.”

“Mhm.”

You said your goodbyes and thank yous to the two of them, and headed to the barracks. Once you reached the entrance gate, you stopped. The anxiety brewing in your chest left your skin feeling prickly. You clenched your fists. You can do this.

You took a deep breath and began a skittish walk to the barracks, until you found yourself at their room, your hand hovering over the door, preparing to knock. But your hand never moved. You stood frozen, the world still around you, all while your mind was screaming at you to take action. Just do it. Then, you felt someone tap on your shoulder, abruptly pulling you from your trance. You whipped your head back. Levi stood behind you, eyes downcast and sullen. Upon seeing his expression, you felt your nerves go through the roof. He’s alone, you noted, chewing your lip. No, no, that doesn’t mean anything. They might still be at the stables. Isabel really loved that horse. During your writing lessons, she’d often get distracted, and ever since she was assigned that horse, it’s all she would talk about, gushing about the animal until you gently reminded her why she was with you. You swallowed, before mustering out something to say.

“H-how did the expedition go? I heard you guys got separated.”

He said nothing. His silence brought an inescapable feeling of dread washing over your body. You hadn’t wanted to ask this right from get go. But you couldn’t keep it in.

“Where are Isabel and Furlan?” you asked, quietly. He flicked his gaze back to look at you, eyes widening, before casting his eyes back down to the floor.

Your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach. You knew exactly what that look meant. You’d seen it countless times. You took a shaking breath, and tears began dripping out of your eyes. They’d died out there. And they’d died in the most horrendous way possible. They had so much life in them, and it had been torn away. Their last moments had been filled with absolute terror. You brought your hands to cover your face. You thought you could prepare yourself mentally for bad news. How naive. Isabel was so young, and she had barely set out to see the world. Furlan, he definitely had feelings for you. It was something you chose to ignore because you weren’t sure how to deal with it. But, could you have been happy together? Could you have really loved each other? Were all your potential lovers simply doomed to die? These questions felt all too familiar.

But you were not the one hurting the most right now.

You slowly pulled your face from your hands to look at Levi. He looked devastated. His jaw was clenched stiffly shut, eyes dead set on his shoes, He couldn’t meet your eye. Your heart ached at the sight, but you couldn’t think of anything you could do to help him. Nothing you could say could alleviate the pain, and even if it could, you didn’t know that you had the strength in you to say it. You swallowed down the lump in your throat, and finally said something.

“Levi, I am so sorry.” you murmured.

You reached out your arms, and pulled him into your chest. Maybe you should’ve asked first, but you didn’t know if you could successfully get any words out without beginning to cry. So you just held him in your arms. You held your breath. He felt stiff, but eventually, you felt him relax in your arms, and you let out a quivering breath as you exhaled. Your eyes widened as you felt his arms slowly reach up behind your back, returning the embrace.

The two of you held each other. Your shaky breaths had turned into a torrent of quiet sobs as you held him in your arms. Your mind raced over what you could’ve done to prevent this outcome, but you came up with nothing. You thought reaching this conclusion would provide you with some sense of acceptance, but it only deepened the sorrow in your heart. There was absolutely nothing you could’ve done to prevent this, and that was the most frustrating thing in the world. How ironic, you’d reached out to comfort him, but you were the only one crying. After a while, you felt something land on your head, but you dismissed it. But then you felt another, then another, so you decided to pull away and look up at the sky. It was raining again. Fucking great.

“What the hell is up with the weather today?” you sniffled. “It’s totally erratic.” you said, looking back down to meet his eyes.

They looked glassy now, but you decided not to bring it up. He didn’t say anything. Maybe he just wanted to be left by himself, you would understand if he did. But before you left him on his own, you wanted to reach out one last time. Maybe some company would comfort him before he returned to his room, alone. Should I offer him some tea? You shivered, rubbing your arms. It was freezing. Might as well try it.

“W-would you want to grab some tea before you went to sleep?”

“Hold on.”

You raised your brow as he walked into his room, shutting the door in your face, and he soon came out, throwing something at you. You flinched as you aimlessly grabbed at the air, to catch whatever he threw at you, and you realized it was a piece of clothing, you held it up, and saw it was the same jacket he'd been wearing the first time you’d met. You gave him a confused look.

“A thin sundress doesn’t do much for the rain.”

“Ah, I suppose you’re right.” you said, shimmying your arms into the sleeves. Wasn’t quite your size, but it’d do.

“Thank you.”

“Mhm.”

The two of you began walking over to the castle in silence. Thankfully, but not unsurprisingly, there were no annoying guards to pester you on your way there. The heaviness and guilt in your heart hadn’t wavered, but you’d gotten out all your tears, or at least the tears you were willing to spill in front of other people. You soon arrived in the kitchen, and you immediately set to make the tea. Usually the silence would be unbearable, but both of you had far too much on your mind to even notice. Besides, you hadn’t invited him to chat, you only wanted to keep him from being alone for the rest of the evening. You filled the pot with water, placed it on the stove and sat down next to Levi at the table. You were staring out blankly into the air in front of you until you felt him tap on your shoulder, and you turned to his lips.

“How do you deal with this?”

You stopped for a moment to think about how to answer. You probably weren’t the person to ask.

“As I think you noticed a couple days ago, not in the best ways.”

“...How aren’t you angry?”

“I was, I-I mean, I still am, to be honest. The only thing that really changed is that I grew tired...It’s tiring being so angry every single day, “ you paused. “I don’t know if I told you this, or maybe Hange mentioned it, the blabbermouth they are, but during my recovery days, I was very rowdy… I feel so bad for those poor nurses. I had multiple broken ribs, some internal bleeding in my stomach, and to top it all off, I couldn’t hear a thing, but every day, I still tried to sneak out of the hospital, I hated being confined to bed.” you explained, fiddling your fingers together. “This sort of behavior only grew when they told me that more likely than not I wouldn’t be able to serve. I felt like I had to prove my competence to them, so I was sneaking off to the training fields at night. Eventually, they had to restrain me to my bed.”

“Doesn’t sound like you.”

“I’ve changed quite a bit since then, probably for the better. But anyways, about your question, eventually, I realized that my anger had no real direction. I was mad at myself, for not being quick enough. I was mad at Marla, for not listening to our Captain's orders, I was mad at my Captain, for picking us to go back and kill that crazy abnormal, and I was mad at the titans. I even attacked Hange at one point. I quickly lost, considering it took all I had to stand properly.” you said, feeling your face heating up at the memory. “But there was nothing I could do. So eventually my anger waned off, and was replaced with self loathing.”

You stopped to think, staring mindlessly at your hands, folded neatly on your lap.

“But it’s still there, I know that much… but you know, it’s not all bad. I’ve realized that since then the only thing I can do is grow for the better. I only slip when I allow myself to, and that’s fine as long as I can recover the next day.. And I still have people that care about me.” you noted. The faces of Hange and Moblit flashed through your mind. “...And the ones that are no longer here to care for me, I have to act right for them. I don’t want them to be disappointed or sad as they look down on me. I have to live on properly for them.”

You felt the tears welling up in your eyes, and the heavy feeling in your chest reappeared.

“I-I don’t know if any of that was helpful...but that’s my experience with it.”

You looked back to face him. He looked at you with distant eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he did, his eyes flicked over to the stove behind you, and he shut his mouth, pointed a finger at it.

“It’s boiling.”

“O-oh okay. I’ll get that.” you said, leaping off from your seat to the stove. You set it down on the counter to allow it to cool, and opened the cabinet, reaching in for the tea cans.

“Green or black?”

“Green, please.”

You nodded, and set some cups out to steep, before placing yourself back on the seat next to him.

“I’m going to continue on the expeditions.”

You nodded.

“I don’t know what's in store for me in the future, but I’ve decided on one thing. I’m not going to live the rest of my life in regret of this decision.” He swallowed, clasping his hands tightly in front of him. “I’m going to live on, dedicating my whole life to this cause.”

You stared at him. What he was saying sounded noble, but you couldn’t help but be worried. It somehow seemed like a self destructive mindset. You took a long sip from your tea, and stared down into the glistening liquid. You were scared. You’d told him that things got better, but how much of that did you actually believe yourself? It took every ounce of your power not to burst into tears where you sat and cry for hours. You felt a lump in your throat, and swallowed.

“It’s most important to live for yourself. Just remember that.” you said, softly.

“You too.”

“Huh?”

“You shouldn’t be happy just because of the wishes of others. You should be happy because you are.”

You blinked at him, before staring back into your mug.

“I guess I was being sort of hypocritical, huh?”

The two of you sat there in silence for a while, slowly sipping away at your tea, until eventually, your cups were empty. You reached into your pocket for your watch. It was late now. You turned back to face him.

“We should probably get out of here.” you said, pulling yourself up from the chair. You reached out your hand. “I’ll take your cup.” you offered. He took one last, long sip before placing the cup in your hand, and getting himself up. You placed them gingerly in the sink, and the two of you left the kitchen. You walked in silence down the hallway, until you reached the point where you had to separate.

“Well, I need to get going.” you said. He didn’t say anything in response. You chewed your lip, unsure if you should say more, or just leave. Eventually, you placed your hand on his shoulder, giving him a weary smile.

“Get some rest, Levi.” you told him.

“Thank you for talking with me.”

“Of course.”

You began walking in the opposite direction, back to your room. As you pulled open the entrance to the next hallway, you shot a glance behind your shoulder. He was gone. You continued through the castle to your room. You closed your door delicately behind you, and just stood there for a moment. It was silent. Well, it always was, for the most part, aside from the slight ringing that existed in your ears, and the dull hum that you could sometimes pick up if someone spoke to you. But this felt different. A strange quietness overcame you, the world around you seemingly stagnant. It sent a strange prickling feeling that ran all the way up from your toes to the back of your neck and made you shudder.

You slowly walked over to your bed, and shimmied yourself into the covers. The tears you’d been holding in almost immediately came pouring down your cheeks. But these tears were different than the thousands you’d shed before. They weren’t tears of anger, or of guilt, all you felt was genuine sorrow. And it was the most painful thing you’d ever experienced. All of the emotion you’d repressed over the last year came spilling out all at once. You didn’t just cry for Isabel and Furlan, but for Marla as well. It was like she’d died all over again, but this time, you didn’t have any anger or resentment left to disguise it. You let out a torrent of choked sobs, and you shoved your messy face into your pillow, a vain attempt to contain it all. The heavy feeling in your chest felt like it would never go away, all you could do was cry.

Eventually, you stood up to grab some tissue to wipe the sticky snot and hot tears from your face. As you were about to get back in bed, tears already rolling down your cheeks, you gazed out into the dark night from your window. The sky was clear of clouds, the bright moon illuminating the night. Its soft light entered your room, giving everything a slight glow. Waning gibbous, you thought, as you stared out into the night. You reached over and opened the window, a cool breeze entered the room, and you leaned up against the window.

Rest well, you guys.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Levi walked down the empty corridors. He had been unsure whether to take her up on her offer, but he was glad that he had. It had given him something to think about, as opposed to just spending the rest of his evening in a lonely room, alone with his own thoughts. He’d learned more about her, too. When he reached the door that led to the exit, his hand hovered over the handle. Do I want to go back to my room yet? He slowly began walking back down the hall. He walked aimlessly around the castle, until he found himself in the same place he had the last time he’d done this, the stairway to the tower. He stared at the entrance, and took a slow step forward. Just as he was about to enter, he hesitated. Did he really want to go in there right now? Relive through the memories? But before he knew it, he was quickly walking up the narrow staircase, pushing the door open.

📷

The cool night air immediately hit his face. He slowly walked over to the wall, and perched himself on the edge. The sky was clear of clouds, unlike the last time he was here. The moon’s light shone brilliantly on him. He gazed up into the sky in wonder. The stars were more visible this time around, scattered about as if a large hand had carelessly tossed the sparkling lights into the dark sky.

Inevitably, the memory of them sitting by his side came to his mind. The way Isabel had nearly fallen off the wall after jumping from the excitement of seeing a constellation she recognized, the way it had nearly given Furlan a heart attack from the shock.

“You need to believe in us!”

Levi sighed, and pulled his head into the palms of his hands. A tear finally fell down his cheek.

I’m so sorry, you guys.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

#levi x y/n #levi x reader #levi aot #snk levi #levi attack on titan #levi #hurt #aot hange #hange zoë #hange zoe #hange #attack on titan #aot #ao3 fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #erwin smith #fluff #angst

13 notes · View notes

a-little-more-to-love · 3 years

Note

Your purpose is to grow, pig. You need to know your place. You need to reach your goals fatty. If you don't, I can get real nasty and show you how much of a bitch I can be. Four hundred seventy pounds is still quite small. Piglet sized in fact. Six hundred is when the real struggle begins. When rolling yourself over is a feat in itself. Your first goal is that. To struggle heaving your hefty, lard filled body over in bed. With enough calories, sugars, and carbs you will get there. I want to see the dread in your face when I order you to roll over for me. The sweat dripping from you as you build up the momentum to do such a little task normal sized people can easily do. Grabbing for leverage, huffing and wheezing between each attempt. Ultimately failing and giving in, asking me for help. I won't hesitate though. I can't wait to have my hands sink into deep corpulent skin. I'll tease you every second though. I'm not going easy on you. Your second goal to reach will to be able to fit three large pizzas inside of you. Thick, greasy, cheesy slices of pizzas all stuffed in your gut. Where you're at now you can do one large, but three? That will take willpower. Swallowing mindlessly until you realize you're getting full but my hand just keeps coming. I'll want your belly as big as a beach ball and just as round. I'll be ruthless and will not stop until I'M satisfied. You'll want to beg and cry but it will fall on deaf ears while I rub your tummy and help you make room for more. Maybe if you're good and finish it all I'll reward you with a quick fuck. Your third goal will be tricky. At this point you should be too fucking huge to fit into any size of clothing, only to be covered with a sheet. I'd say, roughly eight hundred pounds or close to nine hundred. Severely obese. Nearing immobility. You'll exhert yourself just sitting up for your first meal of the day. Which will consist of 30 pancakes, half a pound of bacon, a roll of sausage, 10 eggs, and a gallon of orange juice. And by this point your stomach will be so overstretched and abused you'll easily gulp it all down. I'll spend most of my time cooking for you and when I don't feel like it, I'll funnel a slurry of melted butter and ice cream straight down your throat for added empty calories in between large meals. I need you to keep up with me because the more you grow the more I'm going to force into you. Your fourth goal will to struggle to stand up and even get out of bed. At this point you really won't want to. Your body will be so big just moving will be exhausting. I'll taunt you and help you to your feet at least and watch you waddle a few steps until you're out of breath. You'll dread standing up. It'll feel like a marathon to you. Your belly slapping your thighs with every step. Your legs pushed out in a wide stance while you haul each lard loaded leg in front of one another. Ass cheeks wobbling sloppily behind you. I know you'll beg me to lay your fat ass back in bed. I'll allow it after I see you've gotten a proper workout for an overly fattened hog. I need your face to be cherry red, your knees wobbling from the weight, and you groaning from exhaustion. That's when you'll have my permission to be sedentary once again. For your fifth goal? Well, after this one it just gets easier. You'll be completely bed bound. By this point you'll be passed one thousand pounds and stuck sitting on your fat ass making it really easily for me to manipulate you. Brainwash you. This is your place piggy, right in this bed. Your body so packed with lard you'd need a team of VERY strong paramedics to move you and the proper heavy duty equipment. Your only purpose will be to consume nearly 24/7. Eat and eat and eat. Fill yourself even fatter piggy. I'll adore you, fuck you, and care for you. All while you literally eat your life away. This is your dream though, to be a pig. I'll keep you stuffed full. 10 large pizzas in a day. Pounds of pasta. Endless amounts of cakes and cookies. You'll be so hopelessly addicted to sugar your mouth won't catch a break, nor will your stomach.

Bet u say that to all the feedees, don’t u

45 notes · View notes

binniebutter · 3 years

Text

Under The Wisteria

Pairing: Choi Soobin x fem!reader

Genre: Angst Angst Angst; fluff ig, dystopian au

Word Count: 4.7k

Warnings: violence, gun violence, blood, major character death, I think that’s all

Summary: You just wanted to be with him forever, but you didn’t mean under the Wisteria tree.

Credit: beta read by @nottodayjjk and @inmyfelix from @txtarcadianet. Thanks so much babes!

a/n: I messed up the tags so I deleted and now I’m posting again🥲 but yea this is a birthday gift for @unlocktxt also i can’t write kissing scenes don’t make fun of me.

“Happy birthday to you,” you jumped in your seat a little, startled by your friend’s mom’s sudden singing, “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Y/n, happy birthday to youuuuu.” She walked into the dining room with a single vanilla cupcake in her hands, a candle sporting the number 18 on top. There was no icing or sprinkles on the cupcake yet it still looked ravishing to you. The government only allowed for sweets on special occasions, like birthdays or weddings, and even then it could only be so many calories. This was the government's way of getting rid of obesity in Lamore, along with other, harsher, methods.

“Thank you, Mrs. Johnson. It means so much to me.” You looked up at her and could see the sparkles in her eyes. That was one thing you loved about Mrs. Johnson, she always had sparkles in her eyes and a positive outlook on this fucked-up place we call Earth. Even after the incident…

“Oh dear, it was my pleasure! And how many times have I told you to call me mom, darling?” A lot. Almost every day, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to do that. Every time you looked at her, you not only saw the sparkles, but you also saw her.

Amelia.

You see, Amelia was your best friend. You had known her since you were 3. You guys did everything together, homework, parties, shopping. Everything. Your families were also close to each other. So close that she called your mom “mama” and you called her mom “mom”. You loved each other dearly and made a promise to be best friends forever, always wearing promise rings on your pinkies. Until one fateful day. It had been all your fault. You wanted ice cream so badly that day, even though you knew that you could only have it on your birthday. You didn’t care though, begging your mother, who had taken Amelia and yourself to the park that day, to get some from the vendor.

“Please, mom. Please please please with a cherry on top,” you pleaded with your hands clasped in front of you. “Please it’s so hot I could melt. You wouldn’t want your only daughter to melt, do you?”

“Well, it’s a good thing you’re not my only daughter. I have Amelia too,” your mom childishly stuck out her tongue at you, causing you to look at your best friend with a pout on your face. Immediately, Amelia knew what to do.

“But mama, I want some ice cream too,” she said with a pout that you knew your mother couldn’t resist. And you were right because her resolve started wavering and soon the three of you were heading towards the ice cream vendor located in the middle of the park.

“Hello, sir. Three ice creams, please!” The man at the stand eyed you skeptically before asking who’s birthday it was. You replied before your mother could even open her mouth.

“Mine! Can I please have a cookie and cream ice cream with a waffle cone?” The man had seen how enthusiastic you were and assumed you weren’t lying. After hearing Amelia and your mother’s orders, he immediately got to work and soon enough you were walking away from him, licking your ice cream.

“Come on, Amelia, let’s go to the swings! Last one there is a rotten egg,” you took off towards the swings, leaving Amelia shouting about how you had cheated. Once you both got there, you sat right beside each other, kicking your legs back and forth while gossiping about some boys in your class. In the middle of you telling a story about one dude, a little girl about 5 years old came up to you two asking if it was one of your birthdays. You both had forgotten all about the Capitol rules and answered her truthfully, no.

“Oh, ok,” she bid you goodbye and ran away. You turned back to Amelia and shrugged your shoulders, going back to your story. You both were so absorbed in the story that you didn’t notice the little girl, or what you thought was a little girl, going to tell her mother. But one person did notice, your mom. She saw the tattoo on the girl’s arm and immediately knew who, what, she was. A spy for the Capitol.

Immediately, your mother made her way over to the two of you, telling you that it was time to leave. You should've listened to her. Instead, you were your stubborn self and insisted that you stay a little longer. Amelia had always been the more obedient one out of the two of you and seeing how urgent your mother was on getting you to leave, tried to convince you. Again, you should’ve listened to her. But you didn’t.

“Excuse me,” a voice sounded from behind your mom and you saw her face become as pale as a ghost. She turned around and was immediately tased. Her body convulsed on the floor for a few seconds before she stilled on the grass. You screamed in shock, drawing the attention of the other park users. Amelia grabbed your hand in fear, too scared to do anything. You squeezed her hand to comfort her but she could tell that you were just as scared. The woman stepped over your mother’s body and took a step towards the two of you, which in return to you took a step backward.

“Now, which one of you lied, and said it was their birthday? You both should know that Lenore doesn’t allow liars here,” she had a smile on her face the whole time she was speaking, but instead of comforting you, it terrified you. After a few moments of silence, her smile dropped into a scowl. “Well,” she barked at you causing you to shrink in fear, “Who was it? Or am I going to have to punish both of you?” Your eyes widened in shock. Both of us. You couldn’t let Amelia get hurt. Little did you know, Amellia had the same thoughts. And so before you opened your mouth, she spoke.

“Me, ma’am. It was me.” Although her voice was quiet, you could hear the firmness in it.

“What!?!? Amelia, no!” But alas it was too late. She had been tased the moment the words had left her mouth. You watched in horror as your best friend fell limp on the grass. You couldn’t scream. You couldn’t move. You couldn’t even cry as you watched her eyes roll to the back of her head. Even after the cleanup crew came to take their bodies away, you were still standing in the same spot, looking at the place where your mother and best friend had just been. You didn’t want to believe they were gone. They couldn’t be. It wasn’t until you felt arms wrap around you and bring you into an embrace did you break down. Your mother and your best friend, your platonic soulmate, the only one who knows you better than yourself, were gone. You sobbed and sobbed into the person’s shirt. You couldn’t care less that they were a stranger, you needed someone. After you calmed down you looked up at your savior for the first time. It was a boy around your age, maybe a few years older.

“Thank you,” you paused, feeling silly for not even knowing his name.

“Soobin, Choi Soobin,” he answered with a small smile on his face. “Don’t worry. I’ll protect you.”

“Forever?” you asked with a small sniffle.

“Forever.”

You met Choi Soobin when you were 10 years old.

After you finished celebrating with Mrs. Johnson, which consisted of splitting the cupcake in half and opening the gift she got you, a brand new pair of workout sneakers, you both headed up to your rooms. It was almost curfew time and you knew the Capitol Workers were making their way around for nightly checks. You remembered reading in a history book, that somehow was missed when all the books of the past were burned, that curfew back then was way different and that not everyone had a curfew. The person with a curfew just had to be home by that time. No random stranger was coming into your room to see if you were sleeping. How lucky.

You tensed up as you heard the front door open. He’s here. You didn’t know your Capitol Worker well. You didn’t even know what he looked like. All you knew was that he’s a guy and he comes to your room every night to check if you’re asleep.

You closed your eyes and willed your heart to slow down to a normal pace. Your room door opened and you could hear the heavy sound of the combat boots that all CW’s were forced to wear. They took a few steps toward you, which was unusual, and you held your breath. This is it. I’m gonna die. They’re gonna know that I’m faking-

You paused in your thoughts at the sound of the boots walking towards the door and it being closed. You let out a quiet sigh of relief.

“Jesus, that was scary,” you muttered, still scared of them hearing you. You continued to lay in bed even after you heard the front door shut. After waiting a few more minutes, you got up and headed towards your closet. You put on some dark clothing before grabbing your backpack and heading to your window. Looking out the window carefully, you saw the CW’s moving on to the next street.

“Perfect.” You opened up your window and stuck a leg out. You shivered a little bit as it was chilly out. With one hand still holding your window you pulled your other leg outside, now sitting on the sill. With your other hand, you reached for the closest branch of the cherry blossom tree in your backyard. Using the hand still on the window, you closed it shut, making sure the sound wasn’t loud. Now you were dangling from the tree. Expertly, you swung yourself up onto the branch, having done this a million times before. Once on the tree, you were able to climb down safely, without being seen. Great. Looking left and right, making sure no one saw you, you headed down the pathway that you’ve traveled frequently. The pathway to the love of your life.

Who, you may ask. Well, none other than your savior.

“Hey Y/n,” you didn’t let him finish as you engulfed him in a big hug. You didn’t let go for a while, squeezing him so tight he almost couldn’t breathe. You hugged him as if it was your last hug and Soobin was rapidly getting worried that it might be. You could feel his heartbeat increase and pulled away slightly to reassure him.

“I’m fine. Nothing’s wrong, I just missed you.” At your words, Soobin calmed down and a shy smile overtook his face. You smiled widely at his shyness. He’s so cute!

“Babe, we saw each other today at school.”

“Yeah, but it’s not the same and you know it. We’re not allowed to hug each other or kiss each other.” A devilish smirk appeared on your face as an idea popped into your head. “Like this!” You cupped Soobin’s face in your hands and brought it to yours, leaving a quick peck on his lips. You laughed at the shocked expression on his face.

Anyone who knew Soobin knew that he was timid. He didn’t speak a lot in school unless he was called on. He sat by himself during lunch, which worried you a little because you didn’t want him to be lonely, but anytime you expressed your concerns he reassured you that he likes the quietness. Which usually wouldn’t soothe your worries, but Soobin is different when with you.

With you, he talks exceedingly, maybe too much if you were being honest. With you, he wasn’t afraid to laugh his boisterous laugh. With you, he could be himself and he was grateful to you for that.

“Yah! You can’t just d-do that!” Even though it was dark and you couldn’t see it, you knew that there was a bright blush on Soobin’s face.

“Why? Aren’t I your girlfriend?” you teased. You loved teasing Soobin. It was your favorite pastime. Though at your words, you could feel the mood change. It was like a breeze came by and took away the lightness of your banter.

“But you aren’t.” The street lamp cast a light on his face for a moment and you could see the sadness etched on his face. He was right. You weren’t his girlfriend, not technically. The government has this rule that no one is allowed to date until they are 30. Apparently, it deals with overpopulation. Man, fuck The Capitol.

“Y-yeah. You’re right. I’m sorry,” you said looking at your feet. Soobin looked at you with sad eyes. He hated seeing you like this which is why when the two of you met up, you never talked about this. But it was bound to come up sooner or later. He lifted your chin with his thumb and index finger, forcing you to look him in the eyes.

“I love you. Let’s not talk about this tonight. It’s your birthday!” He placed a kiss on your forehead, then your cheeks, which were blushing red at his affection, one on your nose, and lastly he placed a passionate kiss on your lips. You immediately kissed back, shocked.

It was different, not like the small pecks the two of you share. It lasted longer and you could feel all the emotions that he was trying to convey in the kiss. You closed your eyes and deepened the kiss, hoping to show him how much you loved him. His arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you more into him. When your lungs felt as if they were to collapse if you didn’t stop, you pulled away, a daze in your eyes. Looking at Soobin, you saw his usual small, crooked smile on his face.

“Happy birthday, love. Forever?”

“Forever.”

“What if we run away?”

It’s been about a month since your birthday and currently, you have your head in Soobin’s lap, gazing up at him. He has his back resting on the wisteria tree behind him, a book in one hand while the other runs through your hair. His big, round glasses are adorned on the bridge of his nose, sliding down every few seconds. His blue bangs are covering his eyes today, not gelled back like usual. He looks like an idol Harry Potter adorable, you think. He should leave his hair down more often. It’s when he moves his hand from your hair to turn the page that you pop the question, causing him to stop and freeze.

“W-what?” he asks while looking down at you. His head is tilted, almost as if he didn’t hear you properly. But he did. And you know that. “Y-you want us to r-run away!?”

“Ok, I know it sounds crazy but we both love each other dearly, right?” He nods and you continue. “And it’s not like we have anything here weighing us down. Plus this country is horrible. I hate it and so do you. So let’s just leave. We can go to Averna, rent a home, start a family, grow old together.” Your voice slows down and you start sounding less sure of yourself once you see the look on Soobin’s face. “Do you not want that…”

“Of course I want that!” You flinch a little at the sound of his voice. In all of the 8 years that you’ve known Soobin, he has never raised his voice at you. Seeing your flinch, he lowers his volume. “Of course, I do Y/n, but how are we supposed to run away? There’s a tracker in our necks. The only reason we haven’t been tracked yet is cause they think we’re sleeping. If we leave, someone will report it. They could easily find us and bring us back….or worse.”

You know what he means by worse. The Capitol hates when citizens break the rules. You’ll end up the same as Amelia and your mother. You shudder at the memory of their limp bodies being carried off the grass. You push those thoughts to the back of your head as you open your mouth to speak again but you are cut off.

“No, Y/n, I’m serious. We are not running away. We’ll be killed. And what about Mrs. Johnson, huh? Do you really want her to lose another daughter?”

His words hit you hard. You look at him like a gaping fish, opening your mouth repeatedly but words never come out. He is right, of course, he is right. But you had always been the stubborn one.

“I DON’T CARE, SOOBIN!” Now he is the one to flinch back in shock. “I am tired of living in this terrible place, aren’t you? We’re treated like crap here, having to follow all these stupid rules. I wanna be able to eat candy whenever I want. I wanna be able to go out at night without having to be sneaky. I want to marry you, Soobin, before I turn freaking 30. And I can’t get any of these in Lamore. So let’s leave. Please,” you beg. You thought your words would be all that was needed to convince Soobin but you are wrong.

“Y/n. I love you so much. But I can’t do this, I can’t allow you to do this. We can’t. They’ll kill us once they find us and-”

“I’m going, Soobin. With or without you,” you tell him while standing up and he knows from the firmness in your voice that your mind is set. “Tomorrow night. I’m leaving tomorrow night at sunset. If you want to join me, meet me here, under the Wisteria.” You turn around to leave and take a few steps before Soobin’s words make you pause in your tracks.

“Forever?” It is a last resort. He thinks maybe he can change your mind. But you don’t even look back before continuing on your journey home. Soobin looks down dejectedly at his shoes before standing up and walking in the opposite direction you have.

What neither of you had noticed, was a certain Capitol Worker watching you the whole time.

“She’s leaving tomorrow at sunset.” “...” “Don’t worry, I have a plan.”

The next day at school, you had expected to see Soobin in your first period, sitting in the front row as usual. Red flag number one should’ve been when you noticed that he wasn’t there when you walked in. He’s always early. You brushed it off though. Red flag number two was when the bell rang and the teacher started the class and Soobin still wasn’t here. Soobin’s never late to class. Again you pushed the thought away, focusing on what the teacher was writing on the board.

It’s the end of the day and still no sign of Soobin. You were extremely worried now and had reason to be. Even when he had the flu he came to school, albeit he was sent home immediately. You forced yourself to calm down, willing the worry that was bubbling in the bottom of your stomach to go down. It’s ok, you’ll see him tonight. You were certain he would be there. He loves you, there’s no way he wouldn’t be there. Boy were you in for a shock.

At about 10 minutes to sunset, you headed to the Wisteria tree which had quickly become your safe haven. A place where you could truly be yourself with your lover. A place where many kisses were shared, many memories were made. You smiled at the thought. But your smile was wiped off your face at the sight before your eyes.

Because there was Soobin, tied up to the tree with a gag in his mouth, and a boy around your age, maybe younger, next to him. His eyes were wide with worry and fear, for his life or yours you couldn’t tell. What the hell is happening?

“Oh hello, Y/n dear. Nice of you to finally join the party.” The boy spoke. “Do you know who I am?” Slowly, you shook your head no. His lips turned upwards into a smirk. He was fairly attractive and if you weren’t in love with Soobin, you would swoon. “My name is Kang Taehyun. Your CW.” A gasp slipped from your mouth.

“M-my, my what!? Y-you’re the one who does my curfew check? But you’re just a kid.” When the word left your mouth a hard glare was thrown your way. “N-nevermind, not a kid. Got it.”

“Good work, Taehyun.” A feminine voice resounded from behind you. You turned in the direction of the voice and froze. No. Right in front of your eyes was the same woman you had met almost a decade ago. The same woman that had held a taser to your mother and best friends’ necks. The same woman who had stepped over their lifeless bodies as she had left the park. The same woman who had smiled at you from over her shoulder, as if she were happy that you had no one left. “Y/n, we meet once again. Oh, what’s with that frown? Aren’t you happy to see me?” She mocked you. She had killed your family and she dared to mock you. You felt a bolt of anger surge through your body. You got ready to lunge at her but stopped at the cock of a gun.

“Uh, uh, uh. Take a step back or else I’ll blow your brains out.” You smirked. You weren’t afraid of dying. It would’ve been worth it to hurt the bitch.

“I don’t care. She deserves to feel pain. It’s not as strong as the pain of losing your family but close enough.” You took a step forward your arm raised to throw a punch at her, but then Taehyun uttered words you never wanted to ever hear.

“Maybe you don’t value your life, but I’m sure lover boy over here does.” You stopped in your tracks for the nth time that day, turning around to see Taehyun’s gun pointed straight at Soobin’s head. You looked into his eyes and saw nothing but fear and you knew that your eyes reflected his. When all you did was continue to stare at Soobin, Taehyun started to become impatient and shot up into the air. You jumped at the booming sound and looked over at him. “Next shot will be in his head.”

“P-please. What do you want? I’ll give you anything, just please, don’t hurt him,” your voice was shaky as you begged for his life. He can’t die, you won’t allow it. “K-kill me. Please kill me instead. Spare him.” At your words, Soobin tried his best to break free from his restraints. He struggled and struggled until Taehyun punched him in the face, forcing him to stop and causing you to scream in anguish.

“NOOOO!” The pain in your voice could be heard from a mile away. Your sobs echoing in the darkness. You have never cried as hard as this. “PLEASE I BEG OF YOU STOP! STOP PLEASE. LEAVE HIM ALONE, TAKE ME. HURT ME.” You never imagined that you would be in this situation. Watching Soobin, the love of your life, your forever, in pain. Blood dripped from his nose and you cringed at the sight.

“Oh darling, we plan to. But first, why don’t you enlighten us on why you want to leave Lamore?” The silky smooth voice behind you spoke again. How does she know that? She must’ve read your mind because she answered your question right after. “Taehyun here has been following you, getting intel on you, for about a month now. You’re a sneaky one, aren’t you?”

A month? Why only a month? And they both must be mind-readers as Taehyun answered you next. “Your breath. The night of your birthday. It was too fast, almost as if you were nervous. And what would you have to be nervous about if you were sleeping?” His eyebrow quirked up a little as he asked the question. “So I came closer than I usually do to make sure I was seeing correctly. I was, it turns out.” So that’s why he took more steps towards you than usual. You knew something was up.

“So what, you followed me here. And you’ve been following me this whole time?”

“Precisely. Now answer Miss Paige’s question. Why do you want to leave Lamore?” You glared at the both of them, your stubborn self not answering. “Oh, no answer? Alright,” as he said that, Taehyun pointed his gun at Soobin’s leg and pulled the trigger. A deafening boom ringing in your ears but you didn’t hear. All you heard was Soobin’s horrifying scream. He’s in pain. And it’s my fault.

You watched as blood spurred from the love of your life’s leg and you saw how he stumbled a little at the loss of support. I did this.

“I-if I tell you everything, everything. Will you leave Soobin alone? And get him to a hospital?”

“See, darling. That’s not gonna work. Taehyun here, he’s bloodthirsty. He needs to kill at the sight of blood.” The fuck is wrong with this dude? Yea, definitely not attracted to him anymore. “So one of you here is gonna have to die.” Her creepy smile never left her face.

“O-ok, kill me. Not Soobin, me,” you said the words quietly, hoping that Soobin wouldn’t hear you. But even in his loopy state, he heard. He started struggling against his binds once again. You made eye contact with him and put on a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. You hoped to calm him but did the opposite. Worry pooled in his eyes and you looked away, knowing what you had to do. “Promise me. Swear that you won’t harm him anymore.”

“Alright. I swear on my daughter that I won’t harm lover boy.” And so you told them. You told them how much you hated the Capitol and Lamore in general. You told them how you loved Soobin and wanted to be with him forever. You told them how you planned to run away to Arena but Soobin didn’t want to. You told them everything. And when you were finally finished, you closed your eyes, awaiting death. You heard the sound of the gun and smiled. I’ll see you soon, Amelia, mom. But after a few moments of no pain, you opened your eyes. And screamed at the sight.

Soobin. With a bullet lodged in his head. You rushed over to him, your hands hovering over his body, too scared to touch him. You sobbed even harder than the first time you met him, your wails even causing Paige to feel sympathy for a moment. But only for a moment. You wheeled your head towards her, rage in your eyes.

“You promised! You promised you wouldn’t kill him! You swore on your daughter, you lying bitch.” You screamed at her, feeling another part of your heart break. You lost one half of your heart at 10 years old and now, you lost the other half. You had a heart no more, all that was left was a hole in your chest.

“Fun fact,” she leaned close to whisper in your ear, “ I don’t have a daughter.”

That must’ve been your breaking point because you wrapped your hands around her neck. Now you were the bloodthirsty one. But before you could even see a glimpse of pain in her eyes, a shot rang out. You looked down at your shirt, seeing a pool of red seep out. You smirked. It worked. I get to be with my family now.

You stumbled backward, ending beside Soobin, your back resting on the Wisteria tree that you used to call home. You leaned your head on his shoulder, thinking about the last thing he said to you.

“Forever?”

And as you closed your eyes, you answered him.

“Forever.”

TXT Masterlist

Main Masterlist

42 notes · View notes

blissfulalchemist · 3 years

Note

tying your lover's tie dealers choice? <3

Hi hello! So this....got away from me to say the least....

I decided to use Tia and Conner for this as Conner is about the only one of my kids that wears ties near consistently. I hope you enjoy 8.2k of of these two idiots.

There’s time to just relax, and Tia should just be in her room lying back and trying to name off the stars she’d be able to see this time of year. It’s not like Conner is ever late, especially for these kinds of events, ones where he has to put on his best face. Her stomach still flutters a bit with the memory of him asking her to be his plus one, despite the casual business-like manner of which he did. He still chose her to come with him and at this point she would look for any reason to be close to him….if only she knew how she should dress for it.

The last time she had a dress that wasn’t showing off a lot of skin, and wasn’t a somber event, was her senior prom, and even then she had just managed to skirt past the rules. In all honesty she just wanted to impress him, easier said than done. She’d practically given up when she had heard that the event was formal or well no, someone said it was cocktail….no, no it was definitely semi-formal….oh no, wait, someone else thinks she could actually just come in business casual wear. At least the last one had a defined line for Tia to consider….the others not so much and a google search yielded little else.

Honestly it was a long shot that she’d find Conner in his office still at this hour. He always went home as soon as he could, rarely did he take advantage of the temporary sleeping quarters in the Alchemist hub. The echo of Tia’s boots are dulled by the thin cheap carpet and the fabric covered cubicles as she makes her way to Conner’s office. She’s surprised to see the artificial yellow light pouring out from the near floor length windows of the office. Tia slowed, her steps now whispering against the ground as she moved to sneak a peek into the office to confirm it really was him and not the custodian like last time.

She smirked, catching the show of Conner turning to face a mirror as he pulled on a white button up shirt. Biting her lower lip she took in as many details the angle she watched him from would allow. The faint lines of lean muscle, something that could be accentuated more if he took the time to workout, the hints of black ink along his ribs and upper back, the way his hands moved as they-.

“I think they need to reteach you how to be sneaky, Caro,” she blinked, meeting the small smirk on his lips as he finished the last of the buttons. Tia gave an eye roll moving to sit herself down in the chair of the office, boots finding their usual spot on the corner of the desk.

“Thought you’d be getting ready at home,” she said, giving a smile, the latest candy in the bowl finding a new home in her hand.

“There was a report I needed to finish,” his grey blue eyes stayed focused on his outfit, “Mostly because I finished up the rest of yours this morning.”

She arched a brow, the candy she tossed in the air brushing her cheek before falling to the floor. “I never asked you to do that,” she leaned over picking up the candy just missing the glare from Conner, “I was gonna finish it later tonight.”

He laughed, pulling the tie off the hanger still holding onto his dark blue silk blend jacket and vest, “Oh were you now?” She nodded, giving him a playful glare, “Do you even know how late this event is going to go?”

“I do not,” she shrugged, watching his hands fumble with the tie, “Like eleven, maybe.”

He shook his head, turning to her, eyes assessing the dark skinny jeans and burgundy off the shoulder top, “Friday and Saturday night events can go well into the morning and this is the biggest one of the year.”

“Oh,” her shoulders fell, feet hitting the ground once more, “What’s the event even for? No one would really tell me.”

Conner grimaced at the knot he had created, “It’s both an auction for charity, celebration of big promotions, and giving out awards.” He sighed, shaking his head, “A little bit too much of fanfare if you ask me.”

“But also efficient if you think about it,” he glanced up at her, raising a brow, “Well why have three separate events that are all pretty formal when you can just have one big one? You’re just going to be inviting the same people anyway.”

“Huh,” he turned to face the mirror once again, “Guess that makes sense.” Conner let out a low growl as he once again made a mess of the tie.

Tia stood, moving between him and the mirror, “Here, let me help you.”

He took a quick step back, pushing her hands away, “No, I’m fine. I can do it.”

“We’ll be here all night with your progress,” she huffed, hands working to undo the latest mess of the tie, “Just let me help you, Khakis.”

His jaw tightened, “Only if you can promise me that you’re not planning to wear that,” his eyes moved up and down her body, “tonight.”

She looked down, “What you don’t like it?” He gave her a tired look, “It’s formal wear as it has jeans and they aren’t ripped.” She laughed watching him run a hand down his face, “I’m kidding, Mr. Serious Pants.”

“God you better be.”

“I am,” she put her hand out for the tie, Conner it over with reluctance, “I, well it’s why I took a crap shot in seeing if you were here.” Conner simply hummed as she let out a sigh, “I have three dresses because I couldn’t tell or even understand what kind of event this was so I didn’t know what would be the most appropriate.”

Conner glanced at the wooden clock behind him, “I can help you with that. We got some extra time.”

She smiled, “Thanks. I promise I won’t take long getting ready. I have plans for all the dresses and can do the make up easily in the car.”

“I trust you,” he smiled looking down into her eyes, “You’re not exactly the type of girl to go all out for these kinds of things, Caro,” he chuckled, “always seemed more like the jock type.”

“Why because I can tie a tie?” Tia mocked playfully, Conner giving a frown as she laughed, “Come on lighten up, Khakis. Now, tell me what kind of knot you want.”

Conner’s eyes went wide for a moment, “There’s more than one knot?”

“Yeah,” she laughed, “There’s a good amount, though I can’t do all of them. I can do your standards; windsor, half windsor, and four in hand, but I can also do an eldridge, trinity, and cafe knot.” Conner’s brows furrowed, mouth falling open as he stumbled for words, “Oh! If you want to go really fancy I can even do a rose bud knot.”

“I-. Tia I don’t know what any of those look like,” he shook his head, “Why don’t you just pick for me.” A mischievous smile played at the corner of her lips, “Though maybe not the rose one,” Tia frowned, letting out a huff.

“Fine, eldridge knot it is,” she moved closer, her heart starting to race, “At least you’ll stand out from everyone else.” Conner cleared his throat, as she pulled his collar up putting the tie around his neck. Tia’s hands trembled ever so slightly, fingers brushing against the rising heat in his neck, or maybe it was her own imagination. This game, these feelings, the hot and cold had been going on for almost three years now and she couldn’t take it anymore. She wanted so badly to just have him, to admit freely the way she felt, to have him do the same and try to defy the rules that so far dictated their separation. These same rules that painted her as the bad guy, as evil incarnate, rules that she’d seen Conner follow to an absolute….mostly.

Her hands moved almost deftly as they arranged the fabric, careful to keep her distance from touching him. She wouldn’t want to stop if she did, not while they were alone. “How do you know how to do this?” Conner asked the sound of his voice pulling her focus from the knot as it reverberated through his chest.

“Tie a tie?” He gave a small nod of his head, Tia fumbling as she reversed some of her steps, eyes narrowing in concentration. “Well, when I was a teenager I had a sort of ‘Avril Lavigne’ phase.”

He smirks, “The singer? ‘He was a boy, she was a girl’ singer?” Tia looked up at his eyes, ears catching on to the slight change in pronunciation of some of the words, “Did she wear a tie? I don’t remember.”

“She did,” Tia gave a shake of her head, hands moving with more confidence, “I got bored of the basic knot and everyone did it that way anyway, so well I-.”

“Wanted to stand out, like you always do,” his breath caught as she finished, her hands hesitating just above his chest. “Thanks, I think I can take it from here,” he said softly, his hands brushing against hers starting to pull them away.

“And risk you messing it up,” she laughed, swallowing, “No I- I, um, can do it.” She took a deep breath, her fingers sliding up the fabric, gently tightening the tie to his neck. The urge to pull him closer, close the space between them, her lips meeting his, hoping the surprise won’t last long and his arms would wrap around her, hell they could maybe just forget about the whole event at that point. Her hands lingered on his chest, eyes focusing on the way his breathing became more shallow, how his heart raced beneath her palms. One moment….that’s all she needed….just….one….moment.

“It’s a formal event, Caro,” Conner’s voice coming out in a whisper, Tia nodding, heat flooding her cheeks as he took a half step back, “What do your three dresses look like?”

She let her hands slide away, falling back to her sides, “One is short, with a lace up back and a pretty pink and gold print all over.”

Conner’s breathing evened out, shaking his head, “Nothing short, maybe if it was a casual cocktail.”

“Right,” she pressed her lips together with a smirk forming on her lips, “The other one is longer and can wrap around to be different styles,” Conner shook his head once more, “Well it might be that one if you don’t like the last one.”

“Tell me,” he had put some distance between them, near leaning against his desk.

“The last one is long, single color, reminds me of something you would see a spy wear to a party,” she laughed softly, Conner joining her.

“Wear that one,” He faced the mirror once more, adjusting cufflinks that weren’t there, “I just hope you have some heels to go with it.”

Tia gave a nod, making her way out the door back to her room, resting against the wall of the elevator. Her heart still thumped in her chest, stomach floating, turning, fingers tingling, burning with where she had touched him. Tonight, tonight, tonight. They’d be close tonight. She had a free pass for tonight. Maybe….just maybe….

She had each detail planned out in her mind for days which made quick work of the whole routine. Her hair pinned just so, with the right amount of tendrils framing her face, the gold floral hair piece secured just above the pinned braids. Her makeup understated, the colors toned down to golden brown eyeshadow with a touch of plum just at the crease, black eyeliner winged perfectly, and lips a dark red bordering on burgundy. Perfect. All of it….perfection, worth the hours of practice she’d committed to for the last week. The dark wine colored dress slipped on with ease, falling and hugging her curves to rival those female spies Tia had always seen in the movies. The thin strap cold shoulder design didn’t hinder her movement as she moved to put on finishing touches. The dress’ slit reached to the middle of her thigh, showing off the strappy gold heels that provided enough height to almost match Conner. The gold and faux diamond statement necklace hung low enough to accentuate the sweetheart neckline of the dress. Her black leather choker switched out for a gold one with dark amethyst stars and “planets” alternating, something that Conner had pointed out in a thrift shop weeks ago, the whole look finished off with a gold cuff on her left wrist and simple gold star earrings.

She looked at herself once more in the mirror, smiling, a blush coming to her cheeks, Now to see what Conner thinks, not that it really matters. Her hands shook, grabbing the small worn clutch purse making her way back up to the front entrance of the building. Her legs felt wobbly still, even as she walked with confidence and ease over to a waiting Conner. He looked up from his phone, eyes going wide, mumbling something under his breath, Tia beaming, the nerves leaving her in an instant.

“What do you think, Smallville?” She gave a slow turn for him, laughing away the last of her worries, “You think everyone will be jealous of you?”

He cleared his throat, “Maybe,” a smirk forming on his lips, “It is still you though, Caro.”

“So that’s a definite yes.”

Conner rolled his eyes, “Whatever you say.” He put an elbow out for her, “Shall we get your night out started?” She nodded, wrapping her arm with his as he led her to his car, checking once more the GPS would get them to the right address. For all the griping she had made in the days leading up to the party, she couldn’t have been more excited, shifting in the passenger seat of the grey Yaris. “You nervous, Caro?” Conner asked with a laugh.

“Me? Nervous?” Tia shook her head, “Never. Just excited.”

He arched his brow, giving her a quick glance, “You didn’t seem so excited the other day.”

“Well, yes and no,” she started, looking out the window, taking in the lights of the upper side of the city, “I’m not the biggest fan of these kinds of things, but I also-. Well it might be one of the last nights I have out of that place.”

“Ah,” Conner frowned, “I see. Are they planning on restricting you more?”

Tia nodded, “Yeah,” she sighed, “It's getting all a bit ridiculous if you ask me. It feels like I’m a part of some secret government program.”

“I think I’ve heard of some kind of field work for you in the future,” he gave a small shrug.

Tia looked to her clasped hands in her lap, “They keep saying that and yet I’m stuck inside doing whatever task they give me. I can’t tell you how many potions and amulets I’ve made in the last month.”

“Seventy five,” Tia narrowed her eyes, Conner glancing over sheepishly, “Sorry. I’m the one that has to keep count of all that.”

“They won’t even let me interact with the other witches like I used to,” she sighed, “Not that I hate your company in the least bit I just feel….”

“Lonely?”

Tia nodded, “Yeah. Lonely. It was nice having more people I could relate to, people in the same position as me.”

Conner’s frown deepened, “I’m sorry. Do you want me to try and talk to them? See if maybe they can transfer one or two over, tell them you could use a little extra help.”

She smiled, “Thanks for the offer Khakis but I don’t think that’ll work. I’ve tried that already.” She gave him a nudge on his arm, “Guess you’ll just have to stay longer at the office, C-Man.”

He shook his head, rolling his eyes with a smile on his face, “I do have plants at home I need to take care of, Caro.”

“Plants? As in more than just the little herb garden you have in your kitchen?”

“Don’t knock down my herb garden. It’s very helpful to me.”

“Uh huh, sure.” Conner gave an exasperated sigh, as Tia laughed. “What other kinds of plants do you have?”

“Some of your standard house plants, three orchids,” his fingers tapped the steering wheel as he listed, “a small rose bush, little pine tree, and I’m attempting an avocado tree now.”

“I thought you hated avocado?”

“I do,” But you don’t, she finished catching the quick glance her way as he said it. “Ah here we are,” he announced, pulling up to a hotel Tia had only ever heard of stars staying in. Her mouth fell open taking in the glamour of the front entrance, the valets in blood red vests standing out against the grey and white marble exterior with it’s silver accents and red carpets leading inside the building. She jumped as Conner opened her door, extending his hand to her, Tia taking it deftly, fingers buzzing.

The car disappeared by the third step they took towards the pristine white tiled interior. The vaulted ceiling gave focus to the crystal chandelier above them, casting small rainbows along the already glittering floor, their golden tattoos glimmering with them. The front desk gleamed silver with the attendants wearing white shirts with black bow ties. “Wow,” she let out with an exhale.

“You’re telling me,” Conner’s eyes took in the interior with her, before looking down to a short woman dressed in a knee length black boat neck shift dress approaching them.

“Are you two here for the private party or the wedding,” her voice short, Tia guessed that if she wasn’t holding the clipboard the woman would have her hands on her hips.

“The private party,” Conner answered, pulling out a square piece of cardstock.

“Right this way,” she huffed.

Tia leaned over as they followed, “Think we can score some cake at the wedding later?”

Conner snickered, holding back a laugh, “If there’s any left,” he nodded to an open door where the two of them could see the cake cutting happening, some of it already being thrown about.

Tia frowned, “Well I hope the Stiffs don’t skimp on the quality of the dinner.”

“I heard they always have a top shelf open bar, so I don’t think there’s possibility for anything less,” he said, giving a nod of thanks to the woman as she pointed them to a ballroom already filled with people mingling about. Conner swallowed, taking a deep breath, giving her hand a squeeze, “Let’s do this.”

It was easy enough for the first half of the night to pass in a blur, Conner seeming to be the one to silently hover more as Tia made rounds to groups of higher ups and the few socialite supporters in attendance. Her smile and laugh infectious, her look turning a few heads of those that were already indulging in more than they should have. Many times the conversation stopped once people saw the exact placement of her golden tattoo. Even in times where it seemed like they could all be neutral many didn’t even dare be associated with the likes of her kind.

“Why don’t they get upset with you,” she asked Conner as they waited at the bar for another drink, “for bringing me to this event? Isn’t it considered too friendly?”

“Yes,” his nails drummed against the glass in his hand, “However, I know how stir crazy you get and they agreed that it was easier to just let you come out tonight and fight with you another day.”

“You knew they were going to get stricter with my confinement?” She snapped.

Conner shook his head, “No, not until after I asked,” he stared down into the clear liquid of the glass, “I overheard it this morning.” His eyes met her sympathy darkening them, “I didn’t just ask to keep you placated like the rest of them assume, I wanted you to have fun, Tia.” He gave a small smile, “I mean how many times are you going to get to enjoy a fancy party like this in your lifetime?”

She looked over the crowd, some already taking their seats waiting for the dinner and speeches to start. “You have a point there, Khakis, so you get a pass,” she finished off her drink, hailing for another, “Just this once though.” He rolled his eyes as she laughed, “One last thing though.” He hummed for her to continue, “Why are they so lenient with you almost acting like I’m your date? Am I going to find you gone tomorrow?”

Conner stopped himself from trying to be witty in response, seeing the concern cement on her face, “All the better to keep an eye on you, Caro. They know the rapport you have with me,” Tia’s heart sank, looking away from him as he leaned closer to whisper, “I just can’t ever let them know how I see you.” The feel of his warm breath against her skin sent a shiver down her spine, as she straightened out.

Her smile returned, taking the drink brought to her, “Well I’ll keep it one sided then, Smallville,” she smirked, leading them to their assigned table near the back of the room.

Everyone was given twenty minutes to eat before the speeches started. Despite the round table being able to seat eight, the three seated with them kept their distance, crowding on the far end, conversations hushed and among their hunched bodies. When the first speaker took the stage, they took to practically joining nearby tables. She leaned over to whisper, “You’d think I’d have the plague or something.”

“Might as well with all the hexes you could perform on them,” he whispered, Tia covering her mouth to hide her snickering. The halfway point of the night had Tia swinging between fidgeting and near falling asleep. She leaned back against the chair, arms crossed when the faint thumping of dance music hit her ears.

She smiled, leaning over to Conner, “I gotta go to the ladies room.” He nodded shifting to follow her, “No,” she hissed, “I’ll be fine. Just give me ten minutes before you come searching for me.” He opened his mouth to protest before thinking it over a moment, waving her off. It was easy enough to slip into the next ballroom, the party in full swing with a full dance floor and a still decently filled dessert table. She made a beeline for it, quickly stopped by the drunk bride who gasped, her eyes going wide as she took in Tia’s outfit.

“Oh my god! Your dress! Hair!” She slurred, hands reaching out to lightly touch her, “You’re so pretty. But I don’t- I don’t think I recognize you. Are you someone my husband, cause I’m married now,” she held up her hand with the diamond encrusted band and engagement ring for emphasis, “invited on the fly? I tol’ him we shouldn’t invite people from the lobby.”

Tia laughed, shaking her head, “Uh no. I’m coming from the party next door.”

“Oh,” she tilted her head, strands from her up do coming free, “OH! You mean the snooze fest!” Tia nodded, the bride put a hand on her shoulder, “I un’erstand. You want a party? Cause you can stay!”

“I actually came for some dessert,” she pointed to the table behind the drunken bride, “if that’s okay with you.”

“Oh, yeah! Yeah! We got plenty! Help yourself!” She stepped to the side, grabbing Tia’s arm gently once she started walking, “You want some cake? I can give you a whole little, tiny tier of it if you want,” the bride attempted to whisper. Tia thought for a moment, the bride holding up her hands showing dimensions of how “small” it was, her pitch getting higher, “It’s like this big and its chocolate and raspberry filling.”

Tia shrugged, “Sure why not! Only if I get two forks too,” the bride nodded enthusiastically, waving Tia off to the dessert table, searching out for a waiter. There were little boxes and bags waiting to be filled with the cupcakes, pastries, donuts, chocolate covered fruit, and assortment of candy that she quickly worked to grab, placing them all in a gift bag carefully. She had just put in a final bag of the candy for Conner and the dish in his office when she was surprised to find a waiter with a plastic covered cake tier in hand. At least it was small like the bride promised it would be, She took it with a smile, gently setting it in the bag before quickly making her way out with the goodies.

She steadied her breathing walking back into the ballroom where the same speaker still droned on about the same subject as when she left, sliding back into her seat, bag slipping under the table with ease. “You’re late,” Conner hissed as she bent over to pull out the cake, “I was just getting ready to-. What is that?”

She smiled, putting the tier on the table handing him a fork, “Chocolate cake.”

He lifted the table cloth looking at the bag, “You stole-,” he hissed, Tia putting a finger to her mouth shushing him as they garnered a few looks from those around them. He let out a slow breath, whispering, “You stole from the wedding next door?”

She put a bite of the cake in her mouth shaking her head, “Nah. The bride gave me permission. Now eat your share before I do.” Conner hesitated a moment before picking up the fork and joining her, “See, I told you fruit tarts weren’t a good dessert.” Conner let out a sigh simply rolling his eyes instead of groaning like he normally would have. The speeches and awards finally started to wrap up by the time they finished the whole tier of cake, much to the jealous glares of some other attendees. “So do we go home now or,” she held onto the last word glancing at Conner’s watch, “cause it’s only midnight you know.”

“Silent auction and what’s a fancy party,” he took her hand spinning her, “without some dancing?”

“You trying to sweep me off my feet, C-Man,” Maybe even take me home?.

“Hardly.” The music started, a few other couples taking to the floor with them. The upbeat tempo feeling foriegn to Tia as she tried to find some way to dance while keeping space between her and Conner. He held a hand over his mouth, hiding the smile as he watched her, shoulders moving with his laughter, eyes glancing around the room.

She stopped her movements, hands landing on her hips, “What? What’s so funny, Khakis?”

“Oh nothing,” he laughed, waving for her to continue, “Please continue.”

She let out a huff, rolling her eyes, “What am I doing wrong?”

“You sure you want to know?”

“Yes. Cause I’m not here for your entertainment,” she crossed her arms with a smirk, “That’s your job.”

“Okay,” Conner straightened himself out, glancing once more around the room, “Well, firstly, this beat doesn’t lend itself very well to individual dancing.” He stepped closer, “You need a partner,” he held a hand out to her, Tia looking up at him with an arched brow, “It’s mostly socialites at this point, Caro, they won’t care about a quick dance lesson.”

Her eyes scanned the room quickly, watching as many other Alchemists left for the night, the few staying occupied with their own conversations. She nodded, taking his hand, heart starting to race, “Alright, teach me, Smallville.”

Conner pulled her towards him slowly, “Now hand on my shoulder,” his voice a whisper, Tia doing as she was told. His hand hesitated to fall upon her waist, Tia placing it for him. “Right, uhm, now just follow my lead.” She nodded, steps matching his as he pushed and pulled her from him, moving in a circle around the dancefloor, Conner conscious of those around them. As the music continued Tia smiled as he spun her, never pulling her as close as those around them. She laughed, Conner joining in when he started to add small dips in between the twirls and pushing only to pull her back towards him.

“Well, well,” she said, eyes glancing down to match his steps, “it seems I should have known that you’d be able to dance to this. I underestimated you, cause this seems almost professional.”

He barked out a laugh, “Are you challenging me, Caro?”

“Oh?” She smirked, “Are you holding back on me, Khakis?”

“Figured I would go easy on you to start.”

She gasped, eyes going wide, “Going easy on me. I’m offended!”

“Well,” he pulled her closer, twelve inches separating them still as he dipped her towards the ground, “you are having a hard time keeping up as it is.”

She bit her lower lip as he brought her back up, “I can handle it.”

“Are you sure?”

Tia glanced once more around the room, no one seeming to even be glancing in their direction, “Definitely. Show me what you got.” He pulled her closer, her breath hitching, “No holding back or I’ll kill you tomorrow Khakis.” The song changed to one that had a faster beat and one that Tia could recognize, Conner easily leading her through spins and footwork that had them gliding across the dancefloor. He at one point held her out to the side, bending her as she watched the room blur, Conner using the momentum of pulling her back to lift her quickly, placing her in front of him, back facing him, arms wrapped around her.

She leaned back, feeling his heart pounding in his chest, the way his breath fell against her blushing skin, and the tingling in her skin where their skin came into contact. The moment brief as he quickly had her in another spin from him, the footwork becoming more familiar to Tia, soon matching him. By the third song the two were spending more time trying to outdo the other, Tia soon leading in the twirls bringing a beaming smile to Conner’s face. Each move countering the other and somehow Conner still outpaced her, the dance more his design than hers.

When the final note hit Tia found herself looking up into Conner’s eyes, hair almost brushing the wood floor, the two out of breath and beaming at the other. He held her close once they righted themselves, their foreheads touching as they caught their breath, his hands on her waist, hers lacing on the back of his neck. Her eyes closed, pulling his face closer to hers, lips a whisper away-.

Conner pulled back quickly, blinking a few times as the music started to slow, Tia looking away from him, “Sorry,” all she could whisper. He ran a hand through his hair, whatever gel he had used, releasing it to it’s more natural state, eyes landing on the door back to the hotel, her eyes following him, “One more?” He hummed in response, slowly looking back at her, “One more dance? Then we can go home. Deal?” He nodded, Tia’s hands moving back into place, one hand in his and the other on his shoulder, Conner’s free hand wrapping around her waist keeping her close.

The song transitioned easily into a new one, neither of them looking into the other’s eyes. It took restraint for Tia to keep those inches between them hoping to bring out the easy going Conner once more, if only to see him smile one more time. Their sway was slow and flowing easily despite the rigidity of Conner’s body. How could she have thought that he’d allow for a kiss from her, it was a stupid move on her part. Still it was one that felt long overdue. This hot and cold nature felt harder to navigate in recent months, her only motivation for keeping up with it was that she knew Conner felt just as strongly for her. The rules, those damn rules, every time the only thing between them. Was it so bad for him to love her? To even just be the friends they were just minutes before?

Seeing the way his eyes moved about the room, she had her answer.

Damn the rules, She’d risk the dangers of a secret relationship with him, How could I do anything less?. She had thoughts and plans of leaving in the past after it looked like she wasn’t a good fit for the Alchemists. Yet when she brought them up and Conner had asked her why she hadn’t yet, the reasons she’d give were flimsy at best and grasping for straws at worst, when really after the first three times she nearly went through with those plans the reason just became him. Just Conner. That transition of wanting to just protect him to just wanting to be near him was obvious now but it had hit her suddenly when she came to his office one day to find it empty. A simple conference that lasted only two days and she couldn’t help but feel that ache for him, begging for him to come back home as soon as possible. She almost kissed him the day he returned and he’d taken to working late. Home, he was home.

That was the logic she’d told herself again and again as to why she when really what she had meant to say was that her home was back. He became that feeling of home for her, something she had lost once her mom passed. In many ways he grounded her, anchored her, no matter how high she flew or how far she’d have him to come back too. So why was it so hard to tell him all of this? Just telling him with no care that he’d ever be able to reciprocate, just so long as all these feelings were no longer bottled up inside of her, to just let them out to be free in the world.

Her chest burned, finding it pressed against his. They had drifted enough to close that gap….and he didn’t pull away. His body had relaxed once more, the flushed cheeks he gained from their earlier dancing were still present even after she felt his racing heart finally slow to the steady rhythm she wished to fall asleep to one day. Now all she just needed was a single smile and the night could go back to how it was. The question came to her easily, “Did you ever take lessons?”

“Lessons?” He didn’t shy away when she repositioned herself to rest her head on his shoulder.

“Yeah. Dance lessons,” she could feel the pull of his smile against her temple, “You don’t just get moves like that overnight.”

“Maybe one back in elementary school,” he chuckled.

“They don’t teach you those moves in elementary school. They do teach you square dancing though.” He didn’t need to say anything, Tia feeling the change of his expression against her cheek, “So where did you learn to dance like that?”

Conner thought for a moment, “Movies.” The arm around her waist wrapped around her further, “My grandmother loved the movies with Ginger Rogers and Fred Astire. She had always told me that they reminded her of the days she had with my grandfather. He was very old fashioned apparently.”

Tia smiled, “Hm, guess you had to get it from somewhere.”

She felt the smile leave him a moment, “I don’t see how I could have, I didn’t know him. I was less than a year old when he passed away.” Tia gave a small eye roll at his misunderstanding, “Grandma loved to talk about him though.”

“She must have really loved him.”

“Yeah….I guess so.”

“Still funny how you picked up old fancy dancing, but not how to tie a tie,” she teased, “Thought that was some sort of rite of passage for boys to be taught.”

“Typically yes, though mostly when you have a father to teach you.”

“What happened to him? To your father?”

There was a quiet that fell….lingered, Tia readying to apologize, “I don’t know,” he said finally.

“Did you ever get a chance to know him?” He shook his head, “Do you wish you did?”

“Not really,” Conner gave a small shrug, “I tend to think that I saved more pain by not knowing him.”

“Guess that’s a fair point,” slowly she felt the tension leave his body completely, “I didn’t know my father very well either, if it’s any consolation.”

“May I ask what happened to him?”

“Isn’t that in my file? One that I’m sure you’ve probably read so often you have it memorized.”

“There wasn’t anything listed next to father last time I checked.”

She chuckled, “You check it often?”

Conner gave a quick shrug, “Sometimes I have to refer to it for reports. It’s been months since I’ve needed to refer to it.”

“So you do have it committed to memory,” she heard him sigh, his breath passing over her bare shoulder. Tia pressed her lips together thinking, “I don’t have much of an answer to your question though. Based on what mom said I guess he couldn’t leave his old life behind. Or it wouldn’t leave him, she never really confirmed.” She gave a half hearted laugh, “When I was little I used to think he was a spy for some super secret organization, but in the end it didn’t matter to me, he did what was best for him.”

“Even if it didn’t include you?”

She hummed, knitting her brows, “I think, well hope, that he just wanted to protect me from whatever it was his family did for business. I can’t fault him too much for that.”

“What is it that you do fault him for?”

“Mom,” he gave her a small squeeze nodding, “I just thought he’d come back for that. At least to tell her goodbye. She made it sound like they loved each other so much….and….”

“And you needed him,” his words more of a completed statement than a question.

“Yeah,” she admitted, “I did.” Tia frowned, her chest aching faintly realizing that it was the first time she’d ever acknowledged that fact out loud. How easy it was that, even now, Conner had been able to draw out the things she thought she had dealt with, only to offer the comfort she never knew she coveted once they became unearthed, raw and unhealed, once more. The slow song dimmed and she pulled away, eyes sparkling looking at Conner, “One more dance?”

He smiled, “Thought I tired you out with the last set?”

“Oh it’s going to take a lot more than that to tire me out, Smallville,” she bit her lower lip, looking up at him through her lashes, “So what do you say? You got something more to show me?”

Conner chuckled, rolling his eyes, “Nothing that we could do with this many people around,” his eyes flicked behind her, guiding her a half step to the left as another couple spun past them.

She let her fingers trail down his body, “Oh, so you do have more,” Tia looked him over slowly, giving a click of her tongue, “Maybe we should head out of here so you can show me.”

“And just where do you suggest we go, Miss Caro.”

Her heart picked up speed hearing him address her in that manner, “Maybe your place?” She leaned closer, lips brushing along his jawline, “Surely you have more than enough room to show me a few moves of your own design.”

He stiffened with a sharp inhale, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Conner cut her off before she could start arguing, “Just trust me. It’s not a good idea to do that.” She clenched her jaw, Conner guiding her carefully off the dancefloor, “I think it's time we call it a night.” Tia didn’t say anything, grabbing her things and following Conner out to his waiting car.

It took two songs for the car to no longer be filled with just the soft jazz, her anger finally boiling over, “Do you like stringing me along?”

“What do you mean,” he asked, eyes glancing at her expression.

“What I mean is that you seem to play this game with me where one minute we’re close and I think maybe there might be something more but then….,” she took a steadying breath, “Then you pull away and get so cold. You start to act like you don’t even know me for days each time we seem to be getting close.” His shoulders raised to his ears, making it harder to read his face, “And what’s worse is that I can’t tell where that line is as you keep changing it.”

“I don’t mean to,” he said flatly, “Things are just….” Conner paused, thinking for the span of a stop sign before sighing, “You’re corrupt. Perform in acts that are unnatural, things humans should never have been able to do. It’s tainted your soul, marked you as….well for lack of a better word, evil.”

Tears stung the corners of her eyes, teeth grinding and nails digging into her palms, “I know for a fact that you don’t believe that!”

“I do.” He turned to her, red tinted eyes narrowed, “I don’t know how many times I have to remind you of that.”

“Then why are you always treating me so differently than the others do?”

“You made that rapport with me,” he focused once more on the road, “Everyone agrees that you’re easier to handle when you have someone that’s like a friend.”

She shook her head, “It’s more than that! I’ve seen it! You can’t fake the way you treat me as more than that.”

“I can’t be your friend, Tia. I never will be.”

“Then what can you be?”

“A coworker,” his voice softened, “at best.”

“And what do you want to be?”

He grew silent, keeping his body angled to focus as much as possible on the road. Tia crossed her arms, a quick response holding to the tip of her tongue, until he let out a breath.

“To be exactly what they say I need to be.”

Tia gave a slow nod with a tight jaw, her eyes fixated on the road ahead, and arms hugging herself. He slowed to a stop in front of the building, his own arms taut and knuckles white as he avoided her gaze. “You more than anyone should know what our mark means. What it binds us too, Tia.”

“I do,” she ground out, trying to keep her emotions in check, “But, Conner-.”

He shook his head, “There’s no good way for this to end, you need to start seeing that. The minute you do is the minute that this all becomes easier to navigate.”

She let out a sigh, “I can’t live a lie, especially to myself,” her tone softened, “and neither should you.”

“Good night, Caro.” The shortness of that simple sentence left no room for arguing, despite the whisper it came out in, “I’ll see you Monday.”

She nodded, swallowing back all the arguments she could easily throw at him, “You won’t, Endicott,” Tia threw the door open to the chill of the night, “I know you well enough to spot your lies.” Conner didn’t respond or even look her way as she slammed the door making her way back inside the building, wiping away the few tears threatening to fall. How much more frustrating did he have to be? How much longer could he keep up the charade of his that he was some good Alchemist that feared and hated anything different from himself, when he was far from that.

He just needs an out, that’s all he needs, She thought changing out of the dress. Tia let her hair fall, looking at her reflection, He’d never take it, and she wouldn’t leave him behind, not until she absolutely had too. Might have to just carry him out with you at that point, Tia, she laughed to herself, Khakis doesn’t belong here anyway, never had. She got herself changed and wrapped up in the second hand quilts of her bed, quietly listing off the stars on her current charts hanging above her bed. We’ll escape out to the desert and I can show him what it feels like to live.

Tia couldn’t remember finally drifting off to sleep, simply waking to the hallway above her, dressed and standing among the final rays of the sunset. Her eyes swept over the empty hallway, each detail standing out, not a hint of fog surrounding her like dreams normally did. Her fingers touched the wall, finding it solid when she pushed against it. “Guess it’s just a really vivid dream tonight,” Tia gave a shrug making her way down to the one office she knew had the biggest possibility to be occupied at this hour.

She smiled at the sight of Conner sitting at his desk, glasses on, shoulders hunched over some paperwork. Tia strolled in, the wood of the door solid and creating a distinct sound as she knocked lightly out of politeness. The chair she sat in felt just like the one Conner had, with the same screw head pushing against her back through it’s cushioning. “You think they’d let you paint the walls of this place? The beige is just so….”

“Boring,” his eyes looked up to her, the detail impeccable and yet she could see the text on the papers in front of him start to blur.

The corner of her eyes caught the gleam of the dish full of candy sitting on the desk, life-like and once again solid as she reached inside for a handful. “No. Well, yes, but not what I was going to say Khakis,” she watched as Conner gave a small eye roll, Dream him never gives me an eye roll. Never. She glanced down to the candy in her hand, the sugar already starting to make her palm sticky. Surely the desk will feel like air, she thinks as she puts her shoes in their normal corner, hitting more solid wood. Okay, now this is just a bit weird, she glanced back at the clock on the wall, the time unreadable as there were no hands on the clock, Just have to be old fashioned don’t you, Smallville. “What I was going to say was that this beige is just not your style. Honestly white would be better suited for you.” She tossed a candy into the air catching it with ease as the taste of blue raspberry enveloped her tongue, Well that’s one benefit, “Or maybe like a lavender or seafoam green, which really isn’t that pretty of a color to begin with but god it would be so much better than what you have now.”

She laughed to herself looking back up at the clock that had now become a digital one, eyes going wide, No fucking way. This has to be a dream. No doubt about it. “Don’t you have training or something, Caro?”

“Uh,” the clock read five in the afternoon, “that’s already passed,” she blinked staring at the clock, the time changing, “Dude, it’s almost seven thirty at night.” He looked behind him, Come on Khakis you have to know that isn’t your clock, his eyes grew in surprise as he reached to take his glasses off, “How long have you been going at this?”

“I just have to get this done,” Wow, still a workaholic…., “So you just came down here to try and get me to go home?”

No, wait. This can’t be a dream. Dream Conner is always a lot more fun. She gave a smirk, “I came to see if you’d break me out for dinner,” If he agrees then this all is just a dream and if he doesn’t…., “I promise I’ll pay you back, Smallville.”

He groaned, “You know I can’t. Besides, I have a deadline that I have to meet tomorrow and it’s taking me longer than I anticipated.” Okay just one more test.

Tia stood to stand behind Conner, “Then it’s time that you had a bit of a break,” she placed her hands on his shoulders….and he was….tangible. Heat from his skin pooled around her fingers, the skin on his neck having none of the smoothness of the dreams she could remember. The fabric of his shirt felt just like the one he had worn earlier in the day, his hair just as soft as the days when he forgot to put his styling gel in it. She bit her lower lip, This has to be the most vivid dream I’ve ever had…., Tia gave a smile, heart pounding.

Let’s see where it takes me.

#lo siento (derogatory) but I just had to see the whole thing play out #just these two....I need to live in their world a little more honestly #x: honey and the bee #bloodlines

3 notes · View notes

duchessfics · 4 years

Text

A Lasting Mark Part 4

(https://ahs-gif-imagines.tumblr.com/post/171798402006/ahs-30-day-challenge-1530-character-that-i-wish)

(https://alainashuffman.tumblr.com/post/66522632737/sarah-paulson-in-piggy-piggy)

Billie x Fem!Reader x Audrey

Requested by @shineestark: I’m not saying we need a bit of Billie x reader x Audrey angst, but that’s exactly what I’m saying. reader seeing some random hate comments about her when she’s seen out with Audrey and/or Billie? reader and Billie and Audrey missing each other when they have to travel for filming? them fighting? SO MUCH POTENTIAL.

Warning(s): Angst, Relationship tension (I don’t know if that’s a warning, but just in case), use of cigarettes, cursing

Summary: You told Billie and Audrey that you didn’t mind them going on vacation without you, but as time progresses you begin to question that decision and your value in the relationship.

Word Count: 10,650

A/n: Vivi I hope I did this justice. I’m working on my angst, I promise. Although this ends resolved so... 😅 For some context Since this is in “The Lasting Mark Series” the reader is a stunt double and she has three older brothers with the oldest being a stunt double as well. I mentioned that in the first part, but if you’re confused that’s where the concept is from.

Here’s part 1, part 2 [NSFW], and part 3 [NSFW]

You watch Audrey and Billie rushing around your shared bedroom, throwing last minute items into their suitcases. However when you see the time on your phone you know that you need to go. So you hesitantly tell them, “We should have left five minutes ago…”

You hear Audrey curse in the bathroom, and something falls onto the floor. Meanwhile Billie throws the remaining clothes into their suitcases, no longer taking the time to neatly fold them. Then the actress dashes out with two stuffed toiletry bags and stuffs them in one of their checked bags. Both women zip up their respective suitcases as Audrey assures you, “That’s the last of it.”

So you take their two suitcases that are going to be checked and your girlfriends roll their carry-on suitcases in addition to their purses. It’s a good thing you’ve been weight training because both of these pieces of luggage have to be at least 60 pounds.

While walking out to the car you go over their checklist asking:

“You’ve got toothbrushes? Extra contacts? Sunglasses? Sunscreen? Chargers? Swimsuit?”

They answer yes to each one and you hope they’re right. That being so, you load everything into the trunk and get in the driver’s side to take them to the airport.

On the way there, Billie puts down the passenger’s window and lights a cigarette, making sure the ashes go outside. In response you hear a groan from the backseat.

“Bill, do you really have to do that now? I’m right behind you.”

The medium smirks and lets out a puff of smoke, resting her arm on the window’s ledge so most of the smoke blows out of the car. Then she adjusts her oversized designer sunglasses and purrs, “Honey, this is my last one before our vacation. I just need a couple minutes. Once we're there, I’ll be able to occupy myself with other…how do I put this…activities.”

You bite your lower lip in an attempt to conceal your smile when Audrey huffs, “Honestly.” Before moving to sit behind you. Billie just chuckles before teasing, “You know you love me, baby.”

The actress doesn’t respond, however when you take a glance in the rearview mirror, you see her cheeks have a pink flush to them that wasn’t there before.

Fortunately, you make up for running late by speeding along and you’re on time when you pull up to the drop off at the airport. Once you’ve parked the car you help Billie and Audrey unload all of their luggage.

After you check the trunk to make sure it’s empty Billie comes close to peck your lips and murmurs, “Goodbye, babygirl.” Then Audrey pecks your lips before reassuring you, “We’ll be back before you know it and the next time we go on vacation it will certainly be all three of us.”

The thought makes you smile and you nod before telling them, “Love you both.” Your girlfriends smile back and simultaneously reply, “Love you too.” Then you watch them walk into the airport until you can’t see them anymore and drive home.

By the time you get back to the house it’s just past noon. So you eat a light lunch of leftovers and put on some workout clothes. Once you’re dressed you head to their personal gym and workout in preparation for your stunt gig tomorrow.

Your training session ends up being a couple hours long and by the time you’re finished, both your body and your clothes are soaked with sweat. So you go to your bathroom to take a long shower.

At first, you turn the water cold to cool yourself down from all of the activity you did. After about 15 minutes, you warm up the water and finish washing yourself. The warmth soothes your sore muscles and your body feels jelly-like when you step out of the shower. It’s at that moment that your exhaustion catches up with you and since you have no other place to go, you throw on some sweatpants and a loose tee to lounge in.

Once you’re dressed you step out to the living room and lay out on the couch, halfway watching the tv show that’s on while checking your messages and Instagram to see if there’s anything from either of your girlfriends. But for the moment there’s nothing. They weren’t supposed to land in Hawaii until 7:00 your time and that’s just over an hour from now. So you continue to listen to your favorite tv show that you have seen plenty of times before while you cook dinner and meal prep for the coming week.

In the midst of cooking, your phone goes off and you see it’s your group text between you, Billie, and Audrey. After wiping your hands clean, you unlock your phone to see it’s a picture of Audrey laughing at a candlelit dinner. You can practically hear her giggles and smile at the fact that she isn’t worried about preventing her eyes from crinkling or the hint of a wrinkle on her forehead creasing. She looks truly happy and worry-free which is rare for her.

Then another photo appears and it’s at the same dinner. But this one is a selfie and Audrey looks at the camera with a grin and rosy cheeks while Billie’s face is turned to kiss Audrey’s cheek. Even though the medium doesn’t face the camera directly, you see the corner of her luscious lips curved up into a mischievous smirk. They look so happy together.

Like how they were before you came along…

But you stop yourself from going down that road.

They set this up before you came along. And you have to work anyway. That will keep you occupied. Next time you’ll be there.

You’re able to talk yourself down and text back,

You both look beautiful. ❤️ Was the flight ok?

Right away your message says read and Billie replies,

Thank you, sweetie. We made it here without a hitch. Audrey wants me to tell you she is sure you look beautiful too. 😘 We both hope your work goes well this week.

You text with them for a little longer and they tell you what it’s like there while you share some details about the job you have. After going back and forth for a half an hour, you tell them goodnight and go to bed soon after, feeling better than before texting them…

The next morning you are up before the sun rises and drive to the set for some action film. You know it involves spies and you’re standing in for one of the secondary characters to do some of the more intense fight scenes and stunts. But it’s nothing too strenuous compared to your usual gigs.

After checking in you head to the hair and makeup trailer to get in the same attire as the character. The sun is nearly rising when you step out and as you walk to the first set you’re filming at you hear a familiar voice from behind you say,

“Hey squirt.”

That makes you whip around to see your oldest brother standing there. Your grin mirrors his and you run up, giving him a hug. In response he chuckles and warns, “Don’t mess up your makeup, y/n.”

The reminder makes you backup and you give a soft apology, walking over to the filming area next to him. While walking, you ask, “How have you been? I feel like we haven’t seen each other in forever. Have you talked to Mom and Dad at all? I haven’t gotten a chance to. How are Michael and Jared?”

Your brother ends your questions with a laugh and says, “Woah, one question at a time, kid.” You roll your eyes at the nickname, however the stunt director calls you both over ending any further conversation.

You and Asher focus on your work because even a small mishap can be detrimental. It turns out that the character your brother is stepping in for is the antagonist and since you’re stepping in for the sidekick of the main character quite a few of your scenes are together.

Today consists of learning, rehearsing, and filming combat scenes multiple times with multiple shots to make sure the movement and technique doesn’t look sloppy. By the time you’re finished working, the sun is setting and you feel exhausted. The number of times your brother body-slammed you and yanked you into a harsh chokehold leaves you sore. Of course you beat him up too, but he effortlessly shakes it off. Both of you walk to the makeup and hair trailer after changing into your normal clothes and Asher comments,

“You seem quiet. You tired, squirt?”

You look to him and nod with slumped shoulders. Then you ask, “You?”

He smiles and replies, “Of course. And there was this one stunt double, I think she played the sidekick,” You giggle at his teasing and he continues, “I don’t know her name, but I’ll tell you what she beat my ass today. I’m gonna need to recover a little.”

You shove him with your shoulder, both of you laughing as you say, “Shut up.” He opens the trailer door for you while saying, “Really though. You’ve gotten stronger. I knew you could beat up Jared, but now I bet you could whoop him and Michael.”

Your brother is not one to just give compliments out, so it means a lot that he actually told you that. Being 14 years younger made it hard to connect with him as a kid, but when you work like this it feels much more natural to interact with each other, adult to adult.

“Thanks. I've been working out more the past couple months and I’m glad that my efforts are paying off.” You respond.

Asher sits in one chair and you grab your phone from your bag before sitting down next to him. It’s only then that you see the 30 text messages from your group chat with your girlfriends.

While you get your makeup and wig removed you begin to read through their texts starting from the first one this morning. First is a selfie of Audrey on what looks to be a balcony in the morning light. And the words she sends with the image are

Good morning, sweetheart. ❤️

The next text is Billie replying,

Morning beautiful. 😘

Then Audrey responds,

Did you seriously text me in the same room?

to which Billie teases,

Did you seriously do the same thing? 😉😘

Their banter over texts makes you let out a soft laugh and your brother leans towards you while asking, “What’s so funny?”

Immediately you close your phone and clutch it to your chest, squeaking, “Nothing.” Your cheeks burn as he teases with a grin, “Doesn’t seem like ‘nothing.’” Then his eyes widen in realization and he says in a more serious tone, “Oh my god, do you have a boyfriend?”

That completely throws you off and your ears begin to warm up when you sputter, “What? No Ash. I—”

But he cuts you off with a deep laugh and says, “Oh you definitely do. Is that why you haven’t talked to Mom and Dad in the past couple months?” Your mind races to answer and to make matters worse, your phone buzzes and lights up with a text notification. He stands up barefaced and you try to explain, “It’s not what you think—”

“Sure, y/n. Whatever helps you sleep at night.” He taunts with a grin. Then he grabs his duffle bag and slings it over his shoulder before saying, “I’ll see you tomorrow, kid.” He walks out and you let out a huff of annoyance at the misunderstanding. The makeup artist shoots you a sympathetic glance and assures you, “If it helps, I have brothers just like that.” The reassurance helps you to shrug it off and less than fifteen minutes later you’re finished and heading home.

When you enter the house, the oven’s clock shows it’s nearly 10:30. So you eat a light dinner while reading through the rest of their texts and photos. Once you’ve reached their most recent texts, you type your own, saying,

Sorry I haven’t responded at all today. I was busy working, but I’m glad you’re having a good time. ☺️ You both deserve that and more. Goodnight.

Your body aches as you climb into bed and within seconds, you’re out cold, completely spent from the day’s activities…

The next day begins the same way, waking up before the sun rises, driving to set and getting ready to shoot. However, as the makeup artist and hairstylist fix you up you watch Audrey and Billie’s Instagram stories.

Audrey’s first picture is the selfie she sent you with her hair tousled from sleep. Next is a boomerang of her clinking a glass of mimosa with another and you can tell it’s Billie just from the glimpse of her acrylic nails. She chose a bold coral color in honor of their vacation.

Finally, it’s a video showing Audrey’s legs on a lounge chair that’s partially in the water on the sun shelf of the infinity pool with the perfect view of the beach. Billie stands towards the edge and the sun beams down on them both.

Then the actress calls out Billie’s name, making her twist to face Audrey. She looks gorgeous wearing a designer, floppy hat with a brim that’s wide enough to shade her upper half and looks to be made with straw. And even though she chose a classic black one piece, there’s a deep V-neck cut that nearly reaches her navel exposing a generous amount of her skin. Only she could pull it off so effortlessly. As per usual, her oversized designer glasses are on and she gives Audrey a smile before blowing a kiss.

Billie’s story starts off with the same boomerang of their mimosas. Next is a video that begins with a view of the private beach. She slowly turns around and you see Audrey lounging on the same partially submerged chair in the sun shelf section of the pool. Their private villa stands proudly in the background and looks perfect. Then you hear her purr from behind the camera, “Hey sugar.”

Audrey wears a maroon-colored bikini that you and Billie convinced her to get shortly after you first met them. The actress was nervous that it would reveal any signs of aging she has, but both of you assured her she would look beautiful and Audrey does. She definitely looks like a stunning model. The only other thing she wears is her own designer sunglasses with a cat-eye shape to them.

She giggles at Billie’s words and playfully makes a small splash with her foot towards the woman filming. You hear Billie’s rich chuckle in the background and the next part of her story is a link to an Instagram post.

So you click on it and see it’s a photo of them kissing each other, perfectly lit by the sunset. Then you read the lengthy description alongside it:

“I’m not one to get too sentimental, but this lovely woman deserves this and more. So here you go, sweetheart: The first time we met I instantly knew you were special and ever since then I’ve realized how extraordinary you really are. You’ve been my rock, my number 1 cheerleader, a shoulder to cry on, someone to laugh with, and the best partner I’ve ever had. I love you to the moon and back and then some. I’m so glad we finally have the time to take a true vacation together. I am yours completely until the end of time.”

Your eyes smart with tears, causing the makeup artist to ask, “Is something irritating your eyes? I can remove it and start over.” You come back to reality and clear your throat before replying, “No, it’s just my allergies being difficult today. But thank you.”

Honestly you wish you could have a moment to let out your emotions. But you have work to do. So you focus on channeling those emotions into your stunts.

However, when rehearsing one of your fights with your brother, you slam him down on the mat hard enough to knock the wind out of him.

Right away you gasp and say, “I’m so sorry Asher. Are you ok?” He takes your extended hand and you help him up while he replies, “I’m good. But you may want to lighten up your Hulk smashes.”

Normally you would laugh or even smile at his teasing, but your eyes glaze over and you feel your bottom lip quivering to keep your emotions in check. That reaction makes him get serious and he asks in a lower voice, “Hey, what’s wrong, squirt?” You sniff back your tears and shake your head while replying, “It’s nothing.” He goes to say more, however the stunt director calls you back to your places.

Fortunately, you wrap up earlier than yesterday, but you feel even more worn down from both your physical activity and keeping your emotions in check. And to make matters worse, you see Billie texts you about calling tonight.

The notification goes off at the same time you and your brother are walking out to your cars and he playfully nudges you while teasing, “Your boyfriend texting you?”

Normally you would tease back, but in your aggravation, you shove him back and snap, “Will you just leave that alone?!”

He holds up his hands and cautiously replies, “My bad.” Then he keeps a little further away from you. Right away you feel horrible and when he moves to go to his car you plead, “Wait.”

He pauses, looking to you and you say with a thick voice, “I’m sorry, Ash. Today just hasn’t been the best for me. But I didn’t mean to snap at you.” He gives you a small smile and responds, “Hey, we all have shitty days. I just figured you were upset at everything and everyone.”

Then his smile widens, and he jokes, “Also I didn’t want to get my ass handed to me again.” That makes you giggle, and he joins in before telling you, “I’ll see you tomorrow, squirt.” You tell him goodbye and walk over to your own car.

Once you’re inside and seated in the driver’s seat you text Billie that you’re free to call. Less than a minute later you see her caller ID. So you take a deep breath to center yourself and answer, saying, “Hello?”

Billie’s warm voice responds, “Hey, babygirl. How are you holding up?”

Should you tell the truth? No. You don’t want to ruin their vacation. You said you would be fine and you’re going to sound fine. They deserve to have a break from the world and you’re going to grant them that.

“Darling?” Audrey says, drawing your attention. You clear your throat and reply, “Sorry. I’m just a little tired from work. But I’m doing alright. How is Hawaii? It looks beautiful from the pictures I’ve seen.”

Audrey is the first one to respond, chirping, “Oh it is beautiful. I mean, I don’t think it gets better than this. The weather is perfect, the villa is gorgeous, and the food—oh my god, It’s the best I’ve ever ate—”

Billie cuts in and says, “We would love to take you here sometime, honey.” Then the actress pipes up, “Oh yes! And we could show you the best restaurants, the cutest shops, and more. Everything's amazing.”

While you want to be the supportive girlfriend, tears sting at your eyes once again. So, you swallow the lump of emotions in your throat and try to say in a neutral voice, “I’m so happy for you both. You definitely deserve this vacation.”

Right away both women hear the tremor in your voice, but Billie shakes her head when Audrey silently gestures if she should ask about it.

Then the medium tests the waters by asking, “Besides working, do you have any other plans, sweetheart?” You try to shove the tears that spill out back into your eyes with your fists while you answer, “Honestly I’ll need a day or two to recover from this job. Otherwise I’ll probably do stuff around the house.”

By now, you’ve got yourself composed enough to joke, “So if you have a honey-do list I’ll have time to take care of it.” But it doesn’t sound like your normal voice even to you. Audrey leans closer to the phone as if desiring to give you a hug and encourages, “Well make sure to take care of yourself, darling. Don’t push yourself too much.”

You wipe your nose with a leftover napkin from a fast food run you made at some point trying to not make a sound. Then you ask, “What about you both? What are your plans?”

Both women make eye contact and hesitate for a moment. However, Billie slowly answers, “Tomorrow we’re taking a boat ride around the area. My friend owns a yacht and offered to take us. And the next day we’re planning to spend part of the day looking around at the local marketplace. The last two days are open to either just relax at the villa or go out and do something.”

You hold your head in your hand that doesn’t hold the phone and remind yourself that this week isn’t about you.

You need to be supportive.

Your forehead feels heavy against your palm as you tell them, “It sounds like a great time. I’m sure you’ll have so much fun. I-I think I’m going to say goodnight. I’ve had this massive headache all day and it’s flaring up right now. Sorry.”

Immediately Audrey gasps and asks, “It’s not from the stunts, is it? Did you hurt yourself at all? Should you go to the doctor?”

You can’t help but smile at her concern for you and you realize you feel envious, but also you just miss having your girlfriends around.

“No, I didn’t get hurt. I think it’s a caffeine headache or I’ve probably had too much sugar. But I just took medicine so I should be alright in an hour or so.”

Billie soothes, “Well we hope you get feeling better soon, babygirl. We’ll talk to you later.” You collect yourself enough to reply in your usual voice, “Thanks. I’ll talk to you later.” Then Audrey quickly says, “We love you, y/n.” That feels like a punch to your gut and you wonder how you can be so selfish. You quickly reply, “Love you too.” Hanging up before you start crying…

Audrey lets out a sigh and asks, “Did we do something wrong?” Billie looks to her phone as if hoping it will give her the answer before responding, “No…I think she’s just feeling a little lonely. I mean, if her and I took a vacation while you worked or if I was the one working it wouldn’t exactly be easy.”

The actress runs her fingers through her short hair before muttering, “Shit. But what should we say? I mean we have been working hard and this was set up before we even met y/n—”

Billie comes over to sit beside Audrey and cuts her off with a kiss. She reflexively responds to the medium, melting against her chest and opening herself up completely.

After a moment, Billie breaks the kiss and leans her forehead against Audrey’s before murmuring, “We’ll just give it some time. She’s tired from work. But I’m sure she’s doing alright.” Audrey softly replies, “Ok.” Then they get ready for their evening swim, electing to skip on wearing swimsuits…

After getting so emotional the day before, you choose to turn your phone off for your last day on set. Honestly you need to keep your full attention on the stunts today.

Your first one is to jump off the top of a 15-story building while pulling a gun out of the holster on your hip to shoot up at the people on the roof. Between coordinating the jump, the fall, and you pulling out the gun, it takes at least 5 times of you doing the stunt.

Next you are shooting at people behind you as you run and jump off of the edge of the building to grab onto one of the landing skids of a helicopter before climbing into it.

That’s a complicated maneuver in itself, but you also have to do the whole thing while people are shooting at you. You don’t keep track of how many times you do that one, but it’s enough to drain nearly all your energy. And you still have one stunt left.

For this one you have to climb out of the passenger side window to get to the dash of the car. Then you hop onto the back of the car in front of you. That’s not too difficult, but you have to do all of this while the cars are moving at 70 mph. And the car you were on explodes behind you so you need to have a good grip on the car’s roof.

But you love every minute of doing these stunts. The challenge and adrenaline rush are incomparable to anything else you’ve experienced.

When the director calls a wrap for the day, both you and your brother stagger over to hair and makeup. Even though he wasn’t in every scene you were, he did some additional scenes that you weren’t in. So both of you let out a groan when you sit in the chairs making you laugh, but also groan at your sides being sore and you laugh even more at how pathetic you sound.

After recovering, your brother asks, “You got any plans for tomorrow? Maybe we can catch up without fighting each other or filming life-threatening stunts?” You let out another chuckle, but hiss at your soreness before answering, “I’m available” So you decide where to meet for lunch and say goodbye for the night…

That evening while you take an ice bath you look over the texts you missed from Billie and Audrey as well as their Instagram stories to distract you from the biting cold.

You know it will help in the long run, but ice baths are the worst.

Both of them show off the private yacht with different selfies and videos on their stories. And one of the pictures shows them both standing next to the railing so you can see the beautiful scenery behind them. Audrey is tucked so perfectly into Billie’s side, resting a hand on the arm that isn’t wrapped around her waist to keep her close to the medium.

Billie faces Audrey and dips her head so the tips of their noses touch and both women unabashedly smile at each other.

While your chest pangs because you’ve never seen them look that happy with you around, you’re still emotionally spent from the day before and you feel too sore to overthink it.

They send you a text telling you goodnight and you tell them goodnight, but that’s basically all of the interaction you have. And you feel guilty for being relieved that more wasn’t said. And yet, you desire so much more…

When you see your brother dressed in casual clothes and cleaned up, he looks quite different. He must think the same thing because he teases, “Well, you clean up pretty nice, kid.” You roll your eyes and playfully retort, “You look…acceptable.”

At that time the waiter comes to get your orders and after they’re gone, you decide to not beat around the bush, asking,

“Ok…how upset is Mom about me not calling?”

He grins and jokes, “On a scale of one to ten, you almost at Michael’s level.” That makes you snort and reply with a dramatically innocent tone, “No way. I’m her favorite.”

This time he snorts and banters, “Yeah. Her favorite girl.” You mockingly laugh before sticking out your tongue.

After taking a sip of water, Asher says, “But really, I would call them. They’re used to Michael ignoring them. But you’ve never been this disconnected before.”

You do feel guilty about neglecting your parents. But the past couple months you’ve spent every waking moment getting to know Billie and Audrey. Well…that and you didn’t know how to explain your relationship without causing panic.

You nod in understanding and assure him, “I’ll call them.” Then you smile a little as you inquire, “Speaking of Mike, have you heard anything from him? Is he still in law school?”

Your brother lets out a sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose when he replies, “As far as I know. But I haven’t spoken with him for, hell, six months. So who knows”

The both of you continue to talk about Michael attending law school and Jared getting a master’s degree in business. At one point, your food comes, and you continue to converse about family and future gigs as you eat. However, when you finish off your meal, Asher says, “Don’t kill me, but do you really have a boyfriend? I won’t get upset or anything. I’m just curious.”

You would rather be truthful with him now than have him tell his assumptions to your parents. So you take a deep breath and reply, “I don’t have a boyfriend,” then you avert your eyes, wringing your hands under the table as you continue,

“But I…I have a girlfriend. Well…technically two girlfriends.”

Your whole-body burns, and you keep quiet, bracing yourself for the worst. However, he calmly says, “Hey squirt,” You look up to see him smiling and he soothes, “I’m not mad at you. That’s not something that I would necessarily do. But it’s your life and as long as no one’s getting hurt you can do whatever the hell you want.”

You’re both shocked and grateful he doesn’t harshly judge your decision and you let out a breath of relief before saying, “Oh thank god.” But you grow serious and plead, “Please don’t tell Mom and Dad—”

He chuckles and assures you, “My lips are sealed.” And you let yourself relax back into the chair, feeling like a weight is lifted off of your chest. Meanwhile your brother finishes off his water before asking, “What’s their names? I may know them.”

You bite your lip, but slowly answer, “It’s Billie Dean Howard and Audrey Tindall.” His eyes widen and he asks, “Like…the celebrities Billie Dean Howard and Audrey Tindall?”

You stiffen up again and slowly nod, nervous about where he’s going with this.

His next question is, “Weren’t they a couple already?”

You look down to your fidgeting hands and defend, “But they’ve welcomed me in.” When you do look back up, your brother frowns and his eyes look like your mother’s when she is about to cry. Then he says in a softer tone, “Y/n. That’s a publicity stunt.”

Your heart drops to your stomach and you recoil away from him while saying, “No. They—They’ve said they love me. And they even let me move into their home.” His eyes soften even more, and he gently speaks as if not wanting to startle a feral animal,

“When does their tv special premier with Audrey starring and Billie being the inspiration?”

Your eyes well up with tears and you whimper, “Next week.”

He pauses a moment before saying, “Having you around will draw attention. And in Hollywood, any publicity is good publicity.” Tears being to slip down your cheeks as you shake your head and deny, “No Asher. You don’t understand. They’ve been so loving and supportive. They wouldn’t do that to me.”

He holds out his hand and asks, “Aren’t they in Hawaii right now?”

You nod and say, “They had this planned 6 months ago before I met them. And I had work anyways.” He gestures for you to take his hand and your trembling hand does take his.

Then he gives it a small squeeze and murmurs, “Both women have millions of dollars to their name and you’re telling me there’s no way they could find a way for you to join them? Y/n, they managed to convince their old friend that’s more like an acquaintance to take them out on her private yacht.”

You want to cry and scream along with a whole range of other emotions at one time. Your tears begin to fall faster when you whimper, “But they told me they love me. They’ve told me things they haven’t told anyone else. They’ve always treated me well.”

You brother gently shushes you and lets go of your hand to give you a napkin to wipe your eyes with. Then he soothes, “I could be wrong. But this kind of thing happens all the time. It’s nothing personal and they probably did enjoy your company.”

A hiccup of a sob escapes you and you feel like you’re going to throw up as you can’t help but wonder if he really is right. You settle yourself before making too much of a scene in the restaurant and he murmurs, “I’m sorry, squirt. I didn’t mean to upset you like that. Maybe you should go to the source and ask.”

By now you’re filled with numbness and rejection as you dumbly nod.

Your brother pays the bill and when you get to your cars, he pulls you into a bearhug, murmuring, “I’m sorry, kid. But if you need anything at all and I mean anything, I’m just a text or phone call away.”

By now you feel on autopilot from shock and flatly answer, “Thanks.” Then you head to their home and the whole car ride you feel unnaturally calm as everything begins to make sense now.

You know you shouldn’t, but you do look at their Instagram stories partially out of curiosity and partially to hate-watch when you get home.

Billie’s comes up first and it’s a picture of Audrey asleep and cuddled under the covers. The medium added the text “My sleeping beauty” and Audrey does look beautiful with her hair tousled just right and her face perfectly relaxed.

The next segment is a boomerang showing the busyness of the marketplace.

Then she has a video that begins with her front facing camera as she takes a sip from a colorful cocktail. After she flips the camera so you can see Audrey sitting across from her. Billie slides the drink towards the middle of the table while saying, “Try this.”

Audrey’s eyes narrow a little, but she slowly slides the drink towards her and takes a cautious sip. Right away her eyes widen, and she takes another sip before saying, “This is delicious!” making Billie laugh.

The last thing in her story is a picture of their hands intertwined with each other on the beach.

Audrey’s story is next and begins with a video of her in front of a large mirror. You can see Billie’s reflection in the mirror as she finishes applying her lipstick. And when she straightens up Audrey looks to her and they share a brief kiss. The text with the video says, “A makeup tutorial for that freshly kissed look on your lips.”

The second thing is a photo of Audrey holding Billie’s hand from behind as the medium guides her through the bustling market.

Finally, there is a boomerang of her kissing Billie’s cheek while Billie’s designer sunglasses reflect the gorgeous sunset and her lips sport a proud smirk.

Your heart aches at seeing them so happy without you. And you get mad at yourself for taking some pleasure in seeing their faces. That’s when you see Audrey posted a photo.

The pair stands in front of the same mirror as the one in her video. But in this one, Audrey stands in the center and Billie is behind her, wrapping both of her arms around the actress’s waist to land on her middle. Audrey grins at their reflection while Billie looks to where she places a kiss in the crook of Audrey’s neck.

You look to the photo’s caption and read,

“After my darling girlfriend posted something so nice and thoughtful, I figured I would return the favor. Billie I’ve never met someone like you. I knew the moment we talked that we shared a special connection. And we still do. I’m so honored to portray you in your upcoming tv special. You’ve made me a better person and the connection we have is unmatched. I love you more than words can express, but I thought I would try to give you a glimpse of my adoration with these words. I love you, Billie Dean Howard.”

She’s never met someone like Billie…their connection is unmatched…oh god Asher was right. You are just a pawn in their game of chess to use when it’s convenient. You’re expendable.

A broken sob escapes your throat and you crumble to the kitchen floor wondering how you could be so stupid. Your phone lights up in your hand, so you pick it up and see in between tears it’s a text from Audrey. Just seeing her name makes you cry harder while also getting infuriated at being so used.

You open your messages to see she texted,

How’s LA holding up? Still smoggy? The sky is so clear here I swear we can see every star out there. It’s crazy to think we’re both under the same stars. 💖

You laugh as you continue to weep, thinking about Audrey texting you about the stars while you’re leaning against cabinet doors as support while you break down on the kitchen floor. Then you text back,

That is crazy. LA is still standing and covered in smog as usual.

After sending that you lean back against the cabinet doors, overwhelmed with small sobs and hiccups as the implications of their “love” settle over you.

Where would you even go? Your brother could help, but still. And what if they’re upset when you end things? They could ruin your career before it even begins.

Your fists roughly rub your eyes while you angrily mutter, “How could I be so stupid? I’m such an idiot. Two A-list celebrities interested in me? Get real.”

Your tearful monologue that’s broken up by sporadic sobs is interrupted by your phone lighting up. Against your better judgement you unlock your phone to see Billie texted this time asking,

Have you been keeping up with us on Instagram? There’s some pictures on there we didn’t text you.

This time your choked laugh turns into an anguished cry. You’re beyond words so you yell at the world, banging your fist into the cabinet door while you cry. But all that does is make your hand hurt and your throat sore. So you take a shuddering breath and shakily text back,

Of course. 😘 I’m glad to see you two so happy. It makes my heart happy. ❤️

By now you’ve made it back down to small hiccups and see Billie’s texted back,

You’re always so supportive. 🥰 We were talking about going out sometime next week to wherever you want. There may be paparazzi, but we’ll make sure to have security.

You can’t help but chuckle at how accurate your brother’s prediction really was. Then you mindlessly text back,

Sounds good. I hope you have a good rest of your vacation.

Audrey is the one who replies this time with

Thank you, darling. We’ll wish you a goodnight. Love you. 💕

You recoil at those last two words and your emotions rush back to the surface. So you quickly text back,

Love you too.

Even if it will compromise your future career you need to get out of here.

So you call your one life-line. Your brother answers in a groggy voice, “Hello?” You whimper, “Sorry for waking you up Ash. But I wondered if—”

However, your throat catches and you start to cry. You say between sniffs, “You were right about them. C-Could I stay with you for a couple nights?”

Your crying wakes him up and he calmly replies, “Of course. Y/n take a couple deep breaths. You’re hyperventilating.” It’s only then that you realize it. You take a couple deep,shuddering breaths and he says, “How about you pack up what you can and come over tonight?” You sniff and answer, “O-ok.” So he says he’ll see you in a little bit.

After saying goodbye, you pull out your suitcase and stuff your clothes and knickknacks scattered throughout the house. Then you put any remaining items into your duffle bag and backpack.

As you pass through the house and take specific clothing items of theirs out of your own wardrobe, you continue to cry and feel like your heart is being ripped apart.

Walking out of the door makes you feel a painful finality, but you don’t go back, loading up your car with all of your belongings and driving to your brother’s apartment…

You manage to bring everything in one trip and when you knock on the door, your brother opens to see your eyes that are swollen from crying and broken expression. Immediately he says, “Oh, y/n.” and you crumble into his outstretched arms, whimpering into his shirt, “I’m such an idiot.”

Asher rubs your back and soothes, “You’re not an idiot. I’ve made mistakes too. How about we get your stuff in here.”

Your brother helps you carry your stuff into the darkened apartment before leading you to sit on the couch. You were nervous that your brother would reprimand you or chastise you for acting so rash. But he holds you in his familiar bear hug and soothes, “It’s ok, kid. This isn’t your fault.” By the time you’re settled to small sniffles, you can’t hardly keep your eyes open.

He seems to notice and says, “I’ll tuck you in and we can talk about it later.” You’re shocked at his kindness once again as he pulls a blanket over you. Then he murmurs a soft goodnight and you fall asleep within seconds, too exhausted to care anymore about everything that’s happened…

The next day you’re awakened by the door shutting and your eyes feel raw and sensitive from yesterday when you open them to see it’s daylight out. The beaming sun makes you sit up to see your brother kicking off his shoes with a couple grocery bags and a case of your favorite soda.

When he turns to see you up, he gives you a smile and says, “Morning, squirt.” Your voice is hoarse from crying when you ask, “What time is it?”

He slides the case of soda into the fridge while answering, “Just past 11:00.” That makes your eyes widen and you admonish, “Why didn’t you wake me up?” Your brother closes the fridge and looks at you from the kitchen answering, “Y/n, you called me at 12 in the morning and by the time you actually were laid out on the couch it was nearly 2. And who knows how long you had been crying.”

Then he walks over with the grocery bags and tells you, “I got your favorite chips and cookies. Also, I thought I remembered you liking this candy and homemade popcorn.” As he sets the items down, your lip trembles so you bite down on it, overwhelmed at his kindness.

After calming down enough to speak you rasp, “Why are you doing all of this? I wouldn’t be upset if you left me alone. You don’t have to pamper me.”

He sits next to you and drapes and arm over your shoulders before tugging you close so your head leans on his shoulder as he replies, “Because you’re my little sis and you just had your heart broken.”

Then he pauses for a beat before teasing, “Also it was this or killing them and I can’t afford the plane ticket.”

That makes you exclaim his name and shrug his arm off of you before giving it a punch. Your brother holds up his hands in mock surrender and defends, “Kidding!” Then he rubs the place you punched him while grumbling, “You didn’t have to go all beast mode on me, Hulk. I’m still recovering from being practically body slammed into another dimension.”

You smirk in satisfaction but get distracted by the throbbing in your hand and look down to see your knuckles are swollen and have gnarly darkened bruises covering them. Asher looks too and comments, “Now I know that didn’t come from one punch. What did you do, Beat someone up?”

Your face burns at the memory and you mumble, “No. Last night, when I was crying…I punched a cabinet door…multiple times.”

Your brother tries to stifle his laughter but fails miserably and jokes, “If your hand looks this rough, I’d hate to see how beat up the door is.” You turn away to hide your grin and retort, “Shut up.” He continues to laugh when he stands up and tells you, “I’ll get an icepack. You pick out something to watch.”

While he’s rummaging around in the kitchen you turn on the tv and scroll through one of his streaming subscriptions. However, your search halts when you see your phone light up.

Before you can think your phone is in your hand and you see your group chat has 15 messages. So you open it to see they sent you some pictures before asking about you.

Maybe…Maybe they do ca—

Your brother cuts off your thoughts, asking, “Is that them?” You whip around in surprise and admit, “Yeah. They asked about my day.”

He comes around to the front of the couch and hands you the ice pack before sitting beside you and advising, “I wouldn’t respond.”

You must look skeptical because he explains, “Breakups are kind of like taking off band aids. While it’s painful to just rip it off in one go, the pain is gone much faster than trying to slowly peel it off.” It breaks your heart, but you know it’s the truth. So you set your phone to the side and pick out a movie, icing your hand while eating your favorite snacks…

“Billie, she still hasn’t answered any of our texts or calls.”

If the medium had a cigarette she would be smoking it. Hell, she’d probably be through most of the pack by now. Instead she chomps on multiple pieces of mint flavored gum while pacing the room.

Audrey’s words make her pause and she theorizes, “Maybe she’s just really busy.” The actress half-heartedly agrees, but both women don’t believe that’s the case.

As a last-ditch effort, Audrey picks up her phone and says, “I’ll call her one more time.” As expected, it goes to your voicemail so she pleads, “Y/n, darling, if you could give us a call, we would appreciate it. Billie and I are worried about you not responding. So, if you could call or text either one of us that would be great. Love you.”

Those last words make you whimper when you hear them on your voicemail. Asher had gone to bed an hour ago and while you had promised you would ignore their call, you made the mistake of listening to their voicemails.

After listening to Audrey’s, you tap on Billie’s voicemail from earlier and hear her say, “Babygirl, I don’t know if you’ve been busy, but Audrey and I are concerned about you. If you get a chance to call us that would put our minds at ease. We love you and miss you so much.”

Maybe you were wrong…Your heart feels torn between your girlfriends’ words and your brother’s words. You just need some time to think. You’re already moved out anyways.

The next day your brother convinces you to spend the afternoon at Venice Beach for a little distraction. So you eat a late lunch and casually browse the local shops before ending up at the beach to watch the sunset.

On the other hand, Billie and Audrey have to take a taxi from the airport to their home and feel flabbergasted at your behavior. You seemed so happy earlier this week. Now it’s like you’ve dropped off the face of the world.

But the women go into a full-blown panic when they don’t see you or any of your personal items. This time Billie does have a cigarette to smoke and Audrey weeps while texting you,

Y/n please text us. All of your stuff is gone, and we have no idea why. We just want to talk so we can understand what changed.

You read the message to your brother and he admits, “I mean, it is true. But do you feel in a healthy place to talk to them?” You know you probably shouldn’t, but in your heart, you do want to talk to them.

So you nod and mutter, “I’m sorry.” Asher shakes his head and assures you, “Don’t be, squirt. This may bring more closure to the whole thing.” So you take a deep breath before texting back, “Ok. What time should I come over?”

Audrey lets out a sob of relief and exclaims, “Bill! She said she’ll come over!” The medium rushes over to read the text to confirm it’s real and not just a figment of their desperation. Then she takes the cigarette out of her mouth and suggests, “Say noon and we can have lunch together.”

So they ask you over for lunch and you agree, feeling a little excited to see them. At the same time, you feel nervous about confronting them, but you know they deserve an explanation…

The next morning you fix your hair in the mirror, trying to conceal your trembling hands from your brother. Fortunately, he’s occupied with the video game he plays. So you pick up your purse while stating, “I’m heading out.”

That makes him pause the game and he looks over to you when he encourages, “You’ve got this, y/n. And if you need me, I’m a phone call away.” You thank him with a small smile and walk to your car, getting in and starting to drive before you talk yourself out of going.

By the time you pull into their driveway, you feel physically ill. There is no way you can eat anything. Your whole-body trembles as you walk up to the door and you want to run away more than anything. But you press the doorbell and know you need to deal with this in order to move on.

Billie is the one to answer and if there is a perfect type of suntan, Billie has it in addition to the natural highlights in her hair from vacation. She gives you a polite smile and says, “Hello, honey.”

Right away you want to fall to your knees and beg for forgiveness. But you make yourself keep standing and stutter, “H-hi.”

The medium lets you in and murmurs, “Audrey’s in the kitchen.” You cross your arms over your chest, feeling like the space you had gotten used to living in is foreign. Billie leads you to the kitchen where you see Audrey sitting at the table.

The actress is decent enough to give you a half smile, but the tension in the room is thick enough to cut with a knife. You try to be amiable and say, “Hello.”

Her eyes are shadowed when she replies, “Hi.” In the higher tone she uses when she’s annoyed but has to keep face.

You flinch at the tone and look to the floor, your shoulders slumping forward and you cross your arms even tighter. Billie attempts to smooth things over when suggesting, “Well lunch is ready to eat—”

But you cut her off by saying, “Can we talk? I mean…I don’t think I can make myself eat right now and I-I think I should explain things.”

Audrey scoffs and Billie walks over to her while gently warning, “Audrey,”

But the actress looks at you with her bottom lip trembling as she says, “Maybe you could enlighten us as to why you just stopped responding to our texts and calls. Or how you left us stranded at the airport. Do you even realize how much we care about you? The whole time we were worried if something happened to you. And you couldn’t just respond to us once?”

By now your fists are clenched by your sides and your nostrils flare as you fire back, “Oh, I’m sorry I wasn’t at your beck and call us usual. Maybe I realized what I really am to you both.”

Billie’s brows furrow and she asks, “What are you talking about?”

That makes your body steam with anger and you let out a humorless laugh before retorting, “You don’t need to keep up the act anymore. My brother told me all about what this is. All I am is some publicity stunt to promote your own careers and I was stupid enough to fall for it hook, line, and sinker!”

Audrey goes to speak, but now you are heated, and tears begin to fall out of your eyes as you yell, “I loved you! I trusted you and gave my heart to you entirely! And what do I get? Seeing my girlfriends living it up on some private beach. I saw your Instagram posts. Every single one.”

Then you look to Billie and continue, “I saw your post about Audrey being the best partner you’ve ever had!”

Then you look to Audrey and have to lower your voice so it’s less hoarse, but keep aggressive when you say, “I saw your post too. Including the description of your connection being unmatched. I saw every fucking thing.”

“I wanted to be the chill girlfriend who couldn’t be bothered. But it turns out I’m a dumb ass who would never even have a chance to be your girlfriend in the first place!”

The room goes quiet except for Audrey’s sniffing and your own from crying. Billie wipes away a stray tear with her thumb as the actress whimpers, “Y/n, others may do different things for publicity. But I swear on everything that’s not what you are to us. We love you so much.”

Then Billie says, “We regret not bringing you with us. That was unfair to put you in that position and I’m sorry your brother saw the problem with that before we did. Audrey is right though. We love you so much. If you could give us a second chance, I know we could learn from this and have an even closer relationship. But if you don’t want to, we’ll understand too.”

You have never, ever seen them this emotional and there’s no way this reaction could be ingenuine. You may not know all about them, but you do know those are expressions of heartbreak. And if this really was a publicity stunt, surely they would have let you walk out by now. But you need to make sure.

Your eyes brim with tears and you rasp, “Y-you promise this isn’t a publicity thing? I’m not being used?”

Immediately Audrey shakes her head and assures you, “No. We would never ever do that to you, y/n. Everything we have said or done with you is always genuine.” Your lips tremble as you look between them and you pause for a moment.

But you know what your heart wants. So you run over to them.

Immediately both women wrap their arms around you to hug you close and you cry, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

Both women shush your apologies and one of them presses a comforting kiss to your temple while the other keeps you from collapsing in their arms. Then Billie soothes, “You don’t need to apologize, babygirl.”

Just being in their embrace provides a comfort that you have pined for since they left. The sense of safety and comfort flows through their touch and permeates to your core.

They hold you close and murmur soothing words of their own apologies while you calm back down. After waiting a couple minutes from the time you only make small sniffles, Audrey slowly asks, “Does this mean we can have a group cuddle session on the couch now?”

Her suggestion makes you smile against Billie’s blouse which feels wonderfully smooth against your face and you nod in agreement. So each woman moves to take one of your hands and you walk to the living room.

Once there, Billie pulls out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Audrey gives her a look, but Billie puts one in her mouth, so she sounds funny keeping the cigarette in between her teeth while saying, “Listen. I’ve earned this cigarette.”

The actress can’t deny that, so she keeps quiet as Billie lights up the cigarette.

After taking a long drag, the medium lets out a sigh and visibly relaxes, rolling her shoulders back and stretching her neck. Then she brings over an ashtray and places it on the side table closest to her. Meanwhile Audrey sits towards the middle of the couch.

You sit next to her and Billie sits on your other side and the end of the couch. Once all 3 of you are seated, Billie takes the cigarette out of her mouth and purrs with a warm smile, “Come here you two.”

You snuggle up into her side so you practically sit on her lap, not bothered by the smoky scent. Then Audrey scoots close to you and wraps her arms around your middle to get even closer before burying her nose into the soft juncture between your head and shoulder to inhale your distinct scent.

The medium chuckles at how close you are when you have a whole couch to spread out on while letting out a puff of smoke. But she loves it, asking, “Feel cozy, darling?”

You nod and answer, “Yeah.” Honestly you forgot how nice this is, but your body has the muscle memory and like riding a bike you easily adjust and melt into them.

After a moment, Audrey cautiously asks, “Would you be upset if we watched some tv, love?”

It sounds nice to be distracted from your rollercoaster of emotions for a little bit, so you tell her it’s okay and she turns it to some home improvement show. Before long, she’s providing a running commentary about the design choices and things begin to feel like before.

You didn’t know this was possible, but you manage to melt into them even more, practically purring at being so cozy between their warm, inviting bodies. After she finishes off her cigarette, Billie uses her free hand to gently scratch the base of your neck, taking care to not get her fingers tangled in your hair. The sensation makes you feel all warm and tingly and you look to the medium’s honey eyes, hoping she can see how good you feel.

The medium gives you a knowing smile and softly asks, “Do you feel better, sweetheart?” You nod, looking down to conceal your demure smile while Audrey scoffs and mutters, “I can’t believe they went with a galley kitchen when they have plenty of room for an open concept. That would have looked so much better.”

Billie shares a smile with you about Audrey’s reactions. Meanwhile the actress has her feet propped up on the plush ottoman in front of the couch and leans against you, mindlessly brushing her fingers up and down the top of your thigh.

Your phone vibrates in your pocket, so you move to pull it out to see it’s your brother. His text message says, “You ok, squirt?”

Billie takes the opportunity to lightly nibble on your earlobe. You let out a giggle at the feeling and duck away, but don’t go too far. The medium chuckles and asks, “Do you feel ok, babygirl?” You look over her face and don’t feel any of the earlier insecurities you had earlier. So you answer, “I do.”

Then you bite your lip unsure how to phrase it. But you try to, starting, “I want to apologize about earlier. I was being insecure and didn’t consider you both—”

“If you start apologizing one more time, I will give you something to occupy your mouth.” Audrey warns, cutting you off. That makes you turn to see the actress’s attempt at a serious expression although her lips twitch in an attempt to keep from smiling.

You decide to play along, raising your eyebrows when you tease, “You honestly think you could top me again?”

That makes her eyes widen and she replies more as a question, “Yes?”

Billie chuckles from the other side and murmurs, “Oh Audrey, I think we’ve got ourselves a switch.” Her cheeks turn bright red and she bites her lip.

You grin and look down to your phone, texting back, “I’m good. We talked and worked things out. I’ll come over tomorrow to explain. Thank you for everything.” Then you tuck your phone back into your pocket and look to Audrey again.

Once you look down at her face you joke, “It’s ok, honey. You’ll only have to submit to both of us sometimes.”

Her mouth gapes while Billie laughs and murmurs, “I like this idea. What about you, Audrey? You think you can handle submitting to 2 women?” The actress lets out a small whimper and nods, clearly turned on by the idea. You smile at her reaction while Billie purrs, “I missed you so much, babygirl. And I think these next couple weeks will be a good time for us to become…reacquainted.”

Now your cheeks warm and you can’t help but smile when you look between their beaming faces. Then Audrey says, “Listen, I hate to ruin the mood, but I am absolutely famished. So could we order some pizza? I desperately need some greasy, American comfort food.”

The comment causes you to snort while the medium assures her, “I’ll order some pizza.” Before you can even think about it, you blurt out,

“I love you both.”

For a moment, all 3 of you go quiet and you wonder if you made a mistake. However, Audrey comes up to your face and gives you a kiss before murmuring, “I love you too, darling.”

Then Billie places one of her fingers under your chin to guide you to face her so she can kiss you. After lingering for a couple seconds, Billie parts and whispers, “I love you too. We love you so much, y/n.”

You bite your lower lip and it is nice to feel your cheeks tight from smiling instead of so many shed tears. The medium shifts so she can see both you and Audrey when she tells you, “Just give me a minute and I’ll have two pizzas on the way with your favorite toppings for my special girls.”

Without planning it, you and Audrey say thank you at the same time, making you both laugh. Billie lets out a sound of amusement while she scrolls through her phone. Once she finds the number, the medium stands up and says, “I’ll be back.” Then she steps into the kitchen to call for the pizza.

You hear her talking smoothly to the person taking your order. However after she hangs up, Billie peeks her head out and asks, “Hypothetically of course…if salad was left out for, say, nearly 5 hours would that still be good?”

You both laugh, only now remembering the intention to eat lunch and you reply, “Unfortunately, the salad is at the point of no return. Hypothetically of course.”

Billie grins and says, “Well the pizza is on the way, so we won’t be without food.” Then she disappears and you hear something being thrown away. Audrey giggles next to you, making you grin and while things aren’t perfect, there is no other place you would rather be.

Tagged: @marilynroselleprentiss, @saviorinsilk, @chokemepaulson, @versonstar, @find-me-a-constellation, @cordwliagoode, @psychobitchtess, @midnight-lestrange, @mysweetdelia, @venablesbitch, @peachesandlesbians, @nerdaroo, @cordeliafoxxe, @leskaksel, @lovelymspaulson, @grilledcheeseandguavajelly

Let me know if you would like to be tagged in later works!

#AHS #ahs imagine #ahs fanfic #ahs murder house #ahs apocalypse #ahs roanoke #ahs billie dean howard #billie dean howard #billie dean howard imagine #Billie x Reader x Audrey #ahs audrey tindall #audrey tindall #audrey tindall imagine #audrey tindall x reader #billie dean howard x audrey tindall #ahs sarah paulson

173 notes · View notes