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nobodysdaydreams · 9 months

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For the Character Bingo Game!! Please feel free to mix and match and disregard as you please:

Milligan, Isaac the Messenger, Susan Pevensie, and Toph Beifong

Hope you are having an amazing day, and that the Tasks go smoothly :)

Done! Sorry the highlights on this look so terrible, I'm bad at filling these out. But I very much appreciate the ask! 🥰🥰🥰

Milligan:

I don't know if Milligan and I would be friends irl (I suppose it depends if you're talking about my fic's version, canon, and whether he has memories or not), but assuming there's nothing crazy going on, then yeah, I could see us getting along. Not a big sports fan though. As you know from my fic, I have a lot of head canons, and rotating 24/7, and all MBS characters need therapy let's be real. They also all need more screen time, had wasted potential, and canon did them all dirty by cancelling the show, but I highlighted these for Milligan specifically because he never got closure and answers as to what Curtain did to him and why he was working there. As for my half filled in "my opinions are unpopular", that's mostly because of SOS: people either love it, or it's not for them. So I'm not sure what to call that. I relate to him (positive) because I head canon him as having ADHD (even though I have ADHD-I and I head canon him as having ADHD-HI, but close enough).

Isaac the Messenger:

I feel like Isaac and I would be friends irl since I have a lot of friends doing STEM things. All MBS characters go to therapy, and I clicked canon did him dirty and wasted potential because... did he just wait in the woods forever? I feel like they could have done something with that. I wasn't sure whether to click "needed more screen time" because I feel like it wouldn't be a lot more screen time, just enough to give a little closure on that. I say my opinions are unpopular because I haven't seen any other fics with him as a main or even major side character (if they exist lmk) and I half filled in "so many head canons" because...I do expand on his character a bit in SOS, but I don't know if I'd say I have a ton of head canons for him.

Susan Pevensie:

Ohhh....the problem of Susan. That's what all these highlights are based off of btw. I understand Lewis was using her to reflect his own issues, but why couldn't he have lived to write her story? The arrow over rotating is because when Narnia was my primary childhood hyperfixation, Susan's story was one I was really interested in. (Spoilers Ahead for The Last Battle). She has to live with all her friends and family dying, and figure out how to get back on the right path without them. I would have loved to read a story about Susan and her husband and kids where Susan tells them about her time in Narnia and her younger kids and her husband believe her, but other relatives think it's a manifestation of her grief, and even her older kids are like "mom, seriously?" but then either someone who used to live in Narnia but found a portal to our world or another world shows up, or Susan and her family get sucked through a portal to another world that still exists (not Narnia or Charn because those worlds were destroyed but maybe someplace else), and you could have them go on this whole new adventure and I would love to see that happen. However, I am worried about how people would handle the story, hence the half filled boxes for "the fandom is wrong" and "my opinions are unpopular", because I do see the occasional posts that are like "Lewis was just being sexist and hates Susan because she likes boys and lipstick" or "Lewis was 100% right about girls who like boys and lipstick being terrible" which...respectfully, no to both of these. If I remember correctly, Susan wasn't on the train and is still alive, she can have a redemption arc, and she was always described as pretty and liking stereotypical girly things, that itself was never the issue. The issue was her becoming materialistic and caring too much about what other's think of her and mocking her siblings for not acting otherwise. Look, I never related to Susan very much, and I'm not sure that I'd be friends with her irl, based on interests and personality, maybe not, but she's not a bad person just because she's stereotypically feminine and she's certainly not irredeemable. Would have loved to see a sequel where she goes on other adventures and shows off her awesome archery skills and we get to meet a bunch of new fun characters, but I'm so worried that someone who focuses on the wrong aspects of her character would try to make the message of her story about how Lewis was wrong about something he never said or about how Susan was terrible for something that was never a problem in the first place. Sorry to rant, but these are my thoughts.

Toph Beifong:

She's not the ATLA character I rotate the most, but I do love her. She's insane, but I love her. For this, I kept it ATLA (I know some people would put "wasted potential" or "canon did them dirty" for stuff that happens in Korra, but I'm gonna put that on hold for now). I would love to adopt child her because I have a younger sibling like her and as for the irl we'd be friends, that would 100% depend on whether Toph decided she liked me, and I have no control over that. She needs therapy, but so do all those war surviving children and she has never done anything wrong ever (was using her earth bending to scam people).

#long post #Feels like I might be over thinking this a tad...#But I hope you like my answers #Thank you so much Sophie!#Bod's Answers #Character ask game #Character bingo #Ask game #susan pevensie #toph beifong #atla #narnia #chronicles of narnia #milligan wetherall #mbs #tmbs #tmbs disney

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aerithisms · 26 days

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hi! I just wanted to share my 2 cents about your aerith post and her screen time bc after I finished the game I shared the same sentiment, but after 2 weeks of thinking, rewatching and analysing cut scenes (this game lives rent free in my head now), I realized why they pace her arc the way they did. basically her arc deals with her duty as cetra and coming to terms w/ it. however there wouldn't be any progression if she was already resolved to do it, hence at the beginning of rebirth we have aerith who is happy to start her adventure w/ her new friends (the one she wanted to go w/ her mom as we learn from her trial, so her moment of joy after leaving kalm feels even more deep). but as we continue we can see the mix of inner struggles that resides in her: being last cetra, trying to moving on from zack and dealing w/ dark thoughts about hojo. her Costa del Sol scene suggests that she'll learn how to deal w/ all of that and she believes it'll make her a better person in the future (in some way it has come true bc aerith sacrifices her life and any chance to spend it w/ ppl she loves, and of all things she wanted exactly this). despite that it doesn't cancel her desire to have a normal life and enjoy every moment while she can (in the same Costa del Sol ch. where everyone leaves the beach you can see aerith lingering and watching the sunset as she tries to take it all in for the last time). I think starting from Cosmo canyon her resolve comes into form bc she admits about the loneliness she had to face. At the temple she's willing to learn how to control lifestream (even tho you can see moments when she's upset when it doesn't work out). and at the end she's resolved to fulfill her duty not bc she's a cetra but bc of her friends.

This way you learn to care about her as a person and not just her role as a chosen one. also it's just my personal impression that the devs didn't want her to be a walking sign of death to preserve that feeling of her loss. instead they tease the player the idea of saving her to via marlene, red xiii and partially zack scenes (which feels even more cruel imho).

i can definitely appreciate your perspective!! to clarify i didn't want her to be fully formed in her identity and duty as a cetra at the beginning of the game, and this sort of arc about her learning to explore that side of herself more was in fact exactly what i wanted, i just feel the game doesn't really address it as much as i wish it did. like besides the cosmo canyon fire scene and the last couple chapters there's not a lot there and you're left to infer a little too much imo. i would've liked to see aerith voice her feelings about it to someone more so that we could get inside her head about it. nanaki would've been great since he has a similar connection to the planet/responsibility to uphold the legacy of his people, or tifa since she and aerith confide so much in each other already. or even cloud! that could've brought more attention to their relationship in the narrative so it wasn't so sparse.

i do get that they don't want it to be obvious she'll die for new players but by the same token i sort of feel like if they were that concerned about that they wouldn't have had marlene straight up say sephiroth is gonna kill her. by and large this game's story feels targeted at a primary audience of people who've already played ff7 so i don't know that i feel that's a good enough justification not to explore all the facets of her character in more depth while they could.

that being said i absolutely agree that i love her arc about her connection to the party and how she clearly struggles with but ultimately is able to accept her fate because of how much she loves them and how much they brought to her life. i thought that was really beautiful and heartfelt. and for all my griping i did sob over the ending so it's not like these critiques i have ruined the emotional impact overall!

#blahs #answers #rebirth spoilers

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creatureshrieks · 9 months

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I was coered to adding Maria from The Lost Boys (she's in two scenes (one is deleted) and she has no lines and no screen time but she's my OC now) so let me write down some thoughts!

Warning for mentions of abuse, self-harm, and suicide So we got nothing about Maria so I have freedom to do whatever I want SO What we do know is Maria says when she came to Santa Carla, she… didn’t look good and it was only because of Max she was able to turn her life around, so. She was probably a runaway. Gonna say definitely was! In my mind, Maria’s father was a massive alcoholic and her mother self-medicated with drugs. Her father was... an angry drunk, very abusive, so she ended up running away from her home at 16. While her parents were passed out, she packed up what she could carry, stole what money she could from home and fled. She would move from shelter to shelter (when she could, of course. Shelters are first come, first serve usually, and not all of them are good. She still experienced a lot of distrust and abuse here too) and would try to find odd jobs she could in order to keep moving across the country. She came to Santa Carla when she was 18, where she soon met Max one night on the Boardwalk when she was attempting to find a place to work, or even just sleep/eat. Somehow Max takes interest in her since it seems like he approached her based on what she said? (Max tends to like? Manners and kindness, so she probably did something that kinda showed off her character, either giving away some food to some other homeless kids younger than her or something like that). He offers her a job and she accepts. She’s been working there for about a year and a half before the movie starts, so she’s 19 going on 20. Unlike Max, she actually likes the Lost Boys. She thinks they’re funny for the most part. She gives the Lost Boys lollipops or whatever other candy Max has in the store. Sometimes she'll even give them discounts in the store if they want a movie or just invites them to watch one with her in the store. She likes horror movies but since Max seems to prefer to keep his place “family friendly” he probably doesn’t let them play on the TV, so on nights she works alone she’ll put them on to watch while she takes care of customers. She thinks Max is nice and very generous (save her)

Maria suffers from depression due to her history and when she was 18, she did, unfortunately, contemplate death and attempted suicide. She didn't succeed, of course, and she's thankful she didn't Maria doesn't really have any support in her personal life. She never really has, especially considering her parents did not like her. Her parents did not actually look for her for long. There's no missing posters any more and, even if there was, she'd be assumed dead by now due to her being gone for three years. Maria is also over 18, so she would refuse to return home anyway. Her biggest fear is her parents and them, somehow, finding her. Sometimes she worries they might actually be looking for her and doesn't know what would happen if they actually found her. Maria hasn't told anyone about her life before Santa Carla, much. She won't hide the fact she was homeless, but any mentions of her family are brief or nonexistent.

Maria doesn't often get intimidated, hence why the Lost Boys don't come off as someone to be afraid of. She's been on her own for basically all her life and homeless since 16. She's met all types of people, dealt and suffered through them, and she's still come out on the other side. She's usually cool-headed and doesn't crack easily under pressure. Maria has some scars on her body. She doesn't talk about where she got them. Maria's favorite lollipop flavor is cherry. She smokes, but due to her inability to really take any smoke breaks, she uses them to give her mouth something to do and keep her mind off it.

Maria can't drive, so she'll walk or take buses if she has the spare cash.

Maria's good at running.

#I'll write more laterrrr #all that glitters is not silver (ooc)#maria || headcanons

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magicboobiess · 24 days

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Excommunicado

So if you're anything like me and you've seen the John wick movies. Which are so so goood btw. I don't care what anyone says I love me a good action pew, pew movie. Sometimes seeing some on screen violence play out in the most bad ass way possible can be so rewarding and fulfilling. Also spoiler alert coming up, but not really though since this word also has roots in the Catholic church. Then you probably know what being Excommunicado means or entails. To briefly explain however, basically the Main character John wick is an assassin that's part of this order of assassin's that have a code they all abide by. Which can be summarized by a quote from the movie. "Rules. Without them, we live with the animals."

So basically Mr. Wick breaks one of the rules of the order and as such he is Excommunicado. Which basically means, When an individual is Excommunicado, they lose all access to Continental services, including protection from other Continental members. Which to sum up basically means they are given the cold shoulder by all the group members and abandoned to their own devices never allowed to return and everyone has to stop associating with them at the risk of death, or being given excommunicado status as well. Where am I going with all of this? Well recently I met up with a homie that I hadn't seen in so long.

Side tangent, I tend to this thing where I lose contact with people I know for about 2-6 months at a time. Give or take depending on what I have going on in my own life. So whenever I come back to catch up or see how people are doing it's as if I've entered a time skip and missed 3 seasons worth of developments. Which never ceases to surprise me.

So when I met up again with this homie, I recently came to find out he had been Excommunicado from a friend group that I would associate with every now and then. Not going to lie however he was looking rough and I could definitely tell how much it was affecting the guy. Did I feel bad for him? Yeah, I did, he really did love his friends in that group and he had gone on so many adventures and done so many things with them. So to hear he was dropped by them made me feel for him.

I felt for him because getting to know people is already hard enough as it is, but losing people that are super close to you overnight is even worse. He'd showed me the messages the other friends had sent him and they were basically all in the manner of "never speak to me again why would you do this?" Does he deserve sympathy? I say yes, only however as an outsider peering in though. I honestly only have he said, she said, statements to go off of. But I'm a firm believer of taking people as they are and only judging them based on what they have done to ME personally. If I myself have not been slighted by the person then I have no reason to join in the mob mentality of shunning someone and turning my back on them.

For those curious of the "crime" he committed, here's the tea I suppose. Basically he and his best friend both liked this one girl. The girl was fooling around with his friend, and they were exclusive according to what I hear. So basically what he did is he went around and started messing around with the same girl his best friend was seeing. I suppose it started weighing on him or something since I heard that he came clean to his bestie about what he had done. At which point the bestie, after hearing this wanted nothing to do with him anymore and told him that they were better off going their separate ways. What happened afterwards is that all the other friends in the group heard of this and agreed that they wouldn't talk to him or hang out with him anymore. Hence he became excommunicado.

This is why I think I've never really been a fan of having large friend groups. Not because I'm scared of having multiple friends or anything all at once. More so, one day it's all rainbows and sunshine and the next all doors have been closed to you. I will say however as I myself am not a fan of drama, I think this is the moment where I'll disappear again for about 2-6 months and then pop back in after the time skip. It's not that I don't care about the guy, or that I want to look good in the eyes of said friend group. I simply abhor the Idea of having to take sides. It's not for me and It's always so mentally frustrating and exhausting.

I hope they all can come to terms with each other and settle their differences. We shall see. All I have to say though is much love to them all. One thing about me is, if you make me chose sides I'll just drop both.

Much love MagicB00biess XOXO

#thoughts #journal #essay #diary #handmade #realization #life #friends

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somena-libra-dawn · 1 year

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Beginning with Ho-oh, ending with Lugia, huh?.

(Just some random thoughts below. Nothing important.)

Anyway about Ho-oh,

The final Japanese opening of original series, Ready Go, made a reference to Ho-oh in the lyrics, saying about 'going over seven colored rainbow'. The last DP opening also had Ash chasing Ho-oh.

About Journeys, huh? I can see everyone is disappointed since it 95% follows the game-based, e.g. Ash's fighting scene, Goh is essentially Pokemon Go (no pun intended), while Chloe is Lets Go game. After all, the anime has created their own canonity for years, i.e., anime contest being different than the game, using defensive moves for offensive.

For a new pokemon fan who started with Go or LG... well this one is probably not disappointing. (Note: probably)

I, myself, found 'the end message' is similar to Pokemon Evolutions. There, Oak says, “But you did well. Just look at your pokemon! The bond you share is marvelous, and you’ve found so many! With the data you’ve gathered, you’ve been helping my studies. And, besides you weren’t doing it all alone. You are a part of much larger community, Green. A world of dreams and adventures, challenges and discovery of trainers and pokemon.” Then he declares the pokedex is complete but turns out it isn’t. So Green, Trace, and Elaine set out again.

The similarity: Yeah, Ash and Goh set out to another journey on their own like how Ash says goodbye to his previous companions and they all go on their own path. The previous episode (JN135), Goh stated he wanted to leave to meet more pokemon and trainers to learn about the world more (thx subs). That means, in order to reach Mew, he intends to expand his worldview / perspective by knowing its community and world. On the other hand, Chloe started with zero interest with pokemon but slowly opens up as episodes go. I guess everyone misread her as someone who doesn’t find out anything. To be fair, her first focus episode shows her doubts in aspiration. Then the later episodes, she becomes to care and learns about it little by little, particularly about Eeevee. Yes, she hasn’t decided. She spent most of her screen time going to school and, on some occasion, joining Ash and Goh; while the two boys 100% set out to a pokemon world. So I don’t find it weird she hasn’t fully found what she wants. (Not saying school sucks.) I find her still progressing on it. At least, she doesn’t stay in her comfort zone / her slice of life daily routine, but slowly getting out of that zone. The process of doing so is usually slowly yet progressively, hence it’s time consuming. I don’t get why people assume she starts her journey as soon as she gets Eevee. Well, going on a journey might work but, given her disinterest at the beginning, it wouldn’t be easy for her. So the lesson and development from her story is to discover more. Plus, I never expected anything from Chloe except gaining development (in this case, she slowly tries to discover more by being research fellow in the boys’ stead). Since Journeys is about double protags Ash and Goh at the very beginning, I always thought Chloe as the side character that would get development (which is ok coz I’m tired of ‘girl being second/third person in the group’ trope that makes them eye-candy for the show, minus Iris and Alola girls).

In conclusion, the moral lesson to discover more is somehow fitting to be epilogue (as I pointed it works in Evolutions).

But then again that’s my initial thought. Keeping this post to see the change of thoughts in following years. (let’s see)

#my random thoughts #pokeani spoilers

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jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue · 3 years

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Is there somewhere - BTS royal / bodyguard au Drabble part 4

So after this I was thinking of writing some prequels to the Drabble series before moving ahead with time and the challenges these lovely characters would face ongoing. Same with the CEO drabbles, as always let me know what you think {angst and fluff ahead}

Prev | Next

————————————————————————————————————————

You hadn’t seen them for a month. You told yourself you were glad, that it didn’t hurt you that they gave up. You asked them to leave, you would stick by that, and this proved you right.

These things happened for a reason, you tell yourself, and while life was still a dense cloud hanging over you, it didn’t rain. Since that night trouble stopped following you, no one approached you in the clubs, the paparazzi stopped following you, you felt safe again, by yourself without any bodyguards.

“I haven’t seen you in so long Y/n,” your childhood friend sat across from you at a little quaint cafe in the town closest to your castle. You would have invited her to your place but the mess increased tenfold, that being said, you think your father must be sending people to clean while you were out. He hadn’t said anything about it, you were grateful he hadn’t, you weren’t ready to have that conversation with the King. He was always too busy for you, so this gesture came as a shock.

“I’ve missed you Y/n,” Sana says taking your hand in hers and squeezing it earnestly. “I’ve been worried about you.”

“You don’t need to worry I’m okay,” you say reassuringly.

“Y/n it’s a cloudy day and you’re wearing sunglasses,” you take by her sarcasm she doesn’t sound convinced.

“I’ve got a headache that’s all,” you bury your head behind the brunch menu, pretending to look over the options as she hums in response. It had been years but she still knew you well, and this was nothing like you were.

“Who hurt my friend?” She asks reading through your behaviour like she read the newspaper articles about it online, hence the impromptu visit from half a world away despite her own busy schedule.

“Doesn’t matter, it’s in the past,” and yet it’s still so present. The wound might be healing but it was leaving a red swollen scar in its place.

She lets the subject drop noticing how your shield goes up.

“Your bodyguard is really hot, if you wanted to invite him in to join us I wouldn’t mind,” she wiggles her eyebrows playfully, trying to lighten the mood but her words have the opposite effect on you.

“My what?” You breathe, you don’t have bodyguards. You turn to face where her eyes are set behind you and sure enough, outside the glass windows trying to look conspicuous is a man in a suit you’d recognise anywhere. You hate how your heart starts to ache as it beats faster, how there’s a hum of electricity starting to burn under your skin.

“Is that not your bodyguard? You used to talk about them so much, that’s....” she squints her eyes at the male, who bows his head in panic realising he’s been caught. “Jin! Right?”

Every time you FaceTimed Sana one of the boys would be with you, not on the screen unless it was Jin or Jimin but professionally standing out of the cameras range staying with you trying not to smile as you gushed about them with her, begging one of them to say hello. Yoongi and Taehyung were the only ones to ever give in. They would say hello shyly before standing at their post, Jin and Jimin on the other hand would sit on the bed or sofa with you. Jimin would make you blush and tease you while talking to Sana, Jin would tell her all your bad habits and complain about you playfully. Namjoon and Hobi never gave in, you were close to breaking Jungkook’s resolve before he left.

“I’ll be right back,” you say to her, rising from your seat to walk to the guilty looking male who’s ears have turned red. He says something in his sleeve and you realise the others must be close by or at least contactable. It all suddenly makes sense, you hadn’t seen them, but that didn’t mean they weren’t there. The house, your father was far too busy to burden himself with your mess, the sudden calm around you where normally there’d be a bustle of cameras and people.

“Princess,” he greets you bashfully, embarrassed for getting caught and complicating things. “Funny seeing you here, I was just waiting for a friend...”

“Liar,” you whisper, but it’s loud enough to shut him up.

“I can explain,” his cheeks are going red like his ears, you don’t know what you feel. There’s an emptiness that presents its self in his presence, like your body is trying to protect itself by going numb, even though your heart is begging you not to.

“I don’t want to hear it right now,” you close your eyes at the wave of sadness that overwhelms you. “I think you need to leave.”

You repeat your words from a month ago and it still cuts through him the same as it did then.

“I can’t...” he shuffles awkwardly from foot to foot.

“Jin you’re not my bodyguard anymore, this is harassment,” your cold eyes pierce through him but he stands strong against your onslaught.

“Actually...” he tries to chuckle but it dies as soon as it leaves his mouth. “Well you see, w-we- no your father... the king,” there’s a pause as he clears his throat and his hesitation irritates you.

“We’ve been reinstated as your bodyguards by order of the King,” a new voice behind you saves the stuttering man in front. You can’t help the fists form at your side as your mouth sets itself in a line. You turn to face Namjoon with a stern expression.

“No.” He knew you’d be stubborn, he knew it was a little underhanded of them, but after that day they couldn’t leave you like this. They would give you space, hope they could redeem themselves slowly, but they also had to keep you safe. They didn’t care you were next in line for the throne, they didn’t care their feelings for you were inappropriate in their line of work, you meant the world to them, you were their friend, and they couldn’t leave you again.

“I’m really sorry Princess, but the decisions been made,” he answers you sincerely. “We won’t get in your way, you won’t know we’re here, bu-”

“I said no,” your lips are tight, eyes enraged as you clench your jaw. He sighs, but he knows it would take time to heal the rift between you and the seven men.

You were right when you thought the rest of them were close behind, Yoongi and Jimin walk into your field of vision behind Namjoon, blazers buttoned, Jimin’s hair jelled back, Yoongi’s hand in his pocket. The sight takes you back and it knocks your confidence a little.

“Well that’s treason Princess,” Yoongi reasons with a small smirk forming on his face. “I guess that would get rid of us for you, being beheaded by the King.”

You shake your head is disbelief, a big sigh leaving your lips as you close your eyes to gather strength.

“I can’t do this right now,” you walk away back to your friend who’s eyes haven’t left the interaction. “I’ll deal with this later.”

——————————————————————————

You wonder what happened to their promise to stay out of sight and out of mind the following Saturday.

Maybe you walked through the bad part of town on purpose, maybe you wanted to piss them off or put yourself in danger, maybe you just wanted some control. A man that looks like trouble wolf whistles as you walk in his direction, and you smile like he’s your salvation. You don’t make it another two steps as a hand grabs your arm forcefully. You turn to find an angry Hoseok glaring at the man now cat calling you before turning his glare to you, nostrils flared like a bull about to charge.

You physically have to stop yourself from gulping at his aura, you know if pushed Hobi would cause harm to anyone that disrespected you. His grip on your arm tightens as the man doesn’t stop yelling profanities at you, he’s obviously intoxicated not that it excused his behaviour. Hobi hadn’t spoken a word, you can see him trying to ground himself and his anger, starting to lose his control, trying to regain his cool.

The guilt washes over you at his gaze, your smirk long gone as you struggle to keep eye contact. He hasn’t seen your face soften like this in so long, a glimpse of the old you coming back with concern.

“Hobi I’m sorry,” you whisper. “Let’s just go.”

His eyes are shut and he’s shaking with fury, at the man, at you, at himself.

“Hobi please,” you cup his cheek with your palm, stroking your thumb against his skin, feeling panic rising in yourself. The man is in front of you both now and you feel shame for making such a stupid decision. You press your forehead against his jaw as he stares daggers at the man.

“Your boyfriend giving you problems sexy?” He wears a shit eating grin as he speaks. “You looking for a bit of fun?”

Your touch calms your bodyguard enough to clear the haze of anger that threatens to attack the man where he stands. He releases a big breath before taking your wrist and walking you both away, pace unforgiving.

He still doesn’t say a word as you both get to the car, he pulls open the backseat door aggressively, looking at you expectedly. You don’t argue, you don’t scoff, you don’t walk away. Your eyes are round, looking up at him, begging for forgiveness. How the tables turn.

You get in without complaint, flinching as he slams the door shut. He gets into the drivers seat, putting his seat belt on before staring at you through the rear view mirror, jaw still clenched. You look lost, he hasn’t started the car and he hasn’t stopped staring at you.

“The seatbelt Y/n,” it’s a low growl and you quickly move to lock yours in place at his tone. Your heart is beating so fast you think it’s trying to escape. You don’t blame it, your hands are curled on your knees like a child ready to be scolded and you can’t look ahead as he pulls off.

——————————————————————————

You didn’t say a word the whole journey, scared a single sound would set him off. His grip was unrelenting on the wheel, you don’t think he cooled down at all even though he made sure he wasn’t driving recklessly with you in the car.

He doesn’t take you back to the castle, he takes you to their place. They rarely used to be at home when they worked for you, the castle was large enough for them to stay and they had no reason not to. You hesitate to leave the vehicle when Hobi opens the door for you, he’s patient even through his fury. He holds a hand out for you to take like they used to.

You want to ask him what you’re doing here, why he’s brought you, but you decide to take his hand and let him lead you indoors.

“Princess?” It’s odd to see Jungkook in his normal clothes, to see any of them in their casual wear, it looks homely. They all stare between you and Hobi, looking confused as you both walked into the living room.

You were staring at the floor as he explained where you were when he was on duty, the others now looked at you in shock and disappointment. It was hard for you to hear too, like he was talking about someone else, another girl, you wished the ground would swallow you whole.

“Princess this really has to stop,” it’s Jimin that breaks the silence after Hobi’s speech. His usual sweet disposition was wiped away with worry. “I get it, we messed up, but you can’t keep doing this to yourself Y/n.”

You don’t raise your head to meet his words, you stay with your eyes down and feet cemented where you stood. There’s a finger under your chin but you move your head to the side to avoid it bringing your face up.

“We’re really sorry,” Taehyung whispers beside you.

They blamed themselves for everything you had been through since the moment they left, but how could they undo it, how could they make this okay? His words don’t comfort you, they hurt you, they bring up the night they left all over again. But you feel the sincerity in his words, how hoarse it sounds, filled with every desire to turn the clock back. It brings tears to your eyes, it makes you choke on the emotion rising in your throat. You want it to be okay too, but you couldn’t erase the abandonment they left you with.

There’s a hand rubbing your back soothingly as your bottom lip trembles and your shoulders shake trying to keep the sobs down.

“It’s okay,” the hand on your back moves to your hair, and Taehyung rests his lips on your temple as he speaks. “We hurt you Princess, shout at us, let it out, cry, just stop holding it in.”

If you did as he said it would make you vulnerable again, you’d be letting them in and you don’t know if you’re ready for that. But he wasn’t wrong, holding all the pain down without a healthy form of release was making that gaping hole in your chest erode the rest of you away.

“I’m-m s-so a-angry-” you struggle to get your words out, having to take a shallow breathe with each word as they came out in a sob and it physically hurt you to speak. “At all o-of you.”

Tae’s crying too, Jungkook’s behind you but you can hear him sniffle. You lean into the Taehyung, pushing your face into his neck as you close your eyes and break down, he doesn’t hesitate to bring his arms around you when you think you’re about to fall.

“You had each other,” you wail, not caring at how deranged you sounded. “I had no one, you left me when I was injured!” Your head drops to his chest as you bang your fist against Taehyung’s chest finally letting it all out, and he takes it without bracing himself for each hit. “I needed you and you guys broke me.

Who was I supposed to talk to? Do you know how ridiculous it sounds to the people of my world. My bodyguards abandoned me, so fucking what? Get new ones.”

You grip his top that’s stained with your tears, you’re so angry, so heartbroken and the only people that would listen and help where the ones to cause you this pain.

“But you weren’t just my guards, you were my friends and I thought you all felt the same.”

There’s a whisper of “we do” but you ignore it.

They’ve never seen you like this, not when Taeyeon revealed her true colours, not when Sana moved away, you had said goodbye to people before, it was a part of life but nothing compared to when they left you, and you knew why, you just didn’t want to admit to it out loud. You didn’t want their pity, the pathetic Princess who had no friends who fell in love with her knights in shining armour, the people who were employed to ensure your safety. Misplaced feelings because you had no one else, you could hear Namjoon’s lecture already. They had never see you that way, if they had they wouldn’t have left.

If only you knew the thoughts running through the rest of their brains, how could they tell you they were compromised, that they broke your trust by falling for you, that every protocol dictated to them in their training stated they couldn’t keep a charge safe if they had feelings for them, they had to resign. Looking back it was the worst decision they ever made, but at the time it seemed like the most appropriate.

You scoff through your tears, “if you felt the same you would’ve at least come to see me, but you didn’t, you would’ve at least called or texted but you blocked my number, I tried to contact you everyday for the first two weeks and it was like you all didn’t exist anymore.”

There’s a grasp softly pulling you out of Taehyung’s hold and he whines as you’re taken away. Namjoon’s eyes are red, he looks like he’s on the brink of tears himself, but he holds it together.

“We’re so sorry Y/n,” he could never stop saying it, even if he did earn your forgiveness it could never assuage the guilt that weighed on them. “We honestly thought it was the right thing to do, if we kne-”

“On what planet was that ever the right thing to do Joon?” You cut him off, you didn’t want excuses.

“We made a mistake, leaving you was a mistake but we made one before that,” you frown at his words, what mistake? He contemplates his words but there’s no way mince them, no way to make what he’s about to say any easier. He’s not trying to make excuses, he’s not trying to justify his behaviour he just wanted to be honest. “We fell in love with our charge, the biggest offence we could commit, the biggest threat to your safety was us.”

He watches your eyes go wide as tears streamed down your face, he waited for your disgust, your displeasure.

“We are so in love with you Princess, it killed us to leave you but you have to believe me when I say we thought it was for the best.”

You can’t breathe. He wants you to say something, he needs you to say something, anything. You just stare at him in disbelief until you find the words to speak.

“Are you so stupid?” You gasp, gaze flickering to all their faces, theyre holding their breaths. “Are you all so blind that you couldn’t see that I was in love with you too?”

It was Namjoon’s turn to stare at you in disbelief, their jaws dropped.

“How stupid could you be Namjoon! Did you even think for a seco-” your voice is muffled by his chest as he pulls you into him, and he finally lets himself cry. You were right he was so stupid, he always prided himself on his intellect but look at the mess he made. He holds you like he’d never let you go, tight like you’d disappear in his arms.

“I’m so sorry Y/n, I’m so sorry,” he whimpers and it breaks your heart, you’ve never heard the leader sound like this. You sigh deeply in his arms, warmth finally starting to fill the hole.

“It’ll be alright Joonie,” you hug him back and he’s so grateful for you in that moment. “We’ll work through it.”

You have to believe that you will. More arms wrap around you both, tears of relief, tears of hope mixed with apologetic whispers, words of comfort. You feel the warmest you have in months.

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life-rewritten · 3 years

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WE BEST LOVE (Fighting Mr 2nd) DEYI and The Theme of Control and Power

You know that show that you know you can talk about forever and be obsessed with, although it seems pretty simple and not really that complicated to analyse and break down? Well, We Best Love (WBL) is precisely that in the most amazing way. I'm not shocked because I've always been a fan of the History Series, especially with this writer and how she creates her projects; it's not surprising that WBL happens to be the most comfortable show to lean into. It feels like entering a cheesy, cute, romantic novel. Yet, it still is the most angsty, passionate, drama-filled plot enough to make you want to run into the screen and comfort these comfort characters, scream at them when they're not making sense, and keep watching despite the pain when you feel like they've gone too far. And I kept quiet and watched season 1 of WBL. I was entranced and in love because it was so simple, but it felt perfect for me; it was a distraction, it made me smile, and it also made my heart quiver. I adored all the actors, and I also enjoyed how the storyline was told. It doesn't have to be so deep and full of clues, but there were facets to the characters, clear set rules in understanding their character roles, and small hints building in the last episode that all was not well and a lot was coming for our couple in the future. It broke my heart because season 1 was focused on the immaturity and naiveness of how we feel when we enter university for the first time; the excitement, but still innocence of hopefully finding someone to mesh with, and yet the dumbness/naivety that can distract us or slow us down before knowing who that person is. Season 1 was light, funny, and sweet because that's how our doe-eyed souls feel when we first enter college and get to discover who we are. Season 2, on the other hand, is focusing on maturity, actually dealing with our flaws, coping with the responsibilities and hardships of life, duty and obligation vs wants and need; the characters are older now, affected by the world's cruelties/situations and now have walls up higher than before.

And in order to help us get that vibe, even more, our couple's relationship is put through the wringer, hearts torn, misunderstandings prolonged unfairly, and everyone broken just staying in a state of pining, longing and anger, anger, at what was lost to them; the innocence/fun of falling in love, the guise of being in control, and the joy of being free and dumb in love. It isn't a surprise to see our main character, Shide and Shu Yi, see their flaws fleshed out more in the open and actually increased and exposed for us, the audience, to watch and dislike. Shu Yi's short temper becomes even more exposed as he struggles to have control over his past and feelings for Shide once they reunite, and Shide's withdrawal of emotions also becomes even more strained and put on focus as he also realises what he has lost. Both of them enter this sick twisted, and tense need for control and power that their relationship becomes intense and full of passion hidden behind the anger and resentment. So I'm going to break down the idea of Control and Power with these twos relationship, a certain theme that has been there since season 1, and why now it's something both rivals are struggling to obtain to win, especially Shuyi, who is determined this time to not be Mr 2nd when it comes to Shide again. Hence the title Fighting Mr 2nd.

Misunderstandings and Miscommunications

Let's first focus on the miscommunication/ separation at hand. This exposed so much already about how these two felt about the power they hold over the other. Let's first look at what season 1 exposed; for Shide, Shuyi has always had control over him since the moment his young self told him that he would be a companion to him whenever he was lonely. Shide has desperately loved Shuyi and did everything possible to ensure he kept Shuyi's focus on him no matter what. The way he decided to do this was to put himself in a place more powerful than Shuyi; he put himself always ahead of Shuyi, ensuring he was always number one no matter what. This was how he controlled the situation; for him, as long as Shuyi noticed him, he was happy to continue hoping for a change and also making him react. In Shide's mind, he never wanted to force/ make Shuyi fall for him because he didn't think it was possible. He just wanted to be by his side (as a 'friend') until graduation was over.This shows me already some stuff about their relationship. How Shide perceives Shuyi; one, he didn't trust in Shuyi's love as being as strong as he was. He even says it to Shuyi on the bridge when they confessed to each other. For him, Shuyi was always the 'lucky' one; the one in control, the real winner because he had him in his palm of his hand. Shuyi was the one who made him whipped, the one he chased after secretly for 8 years or more. Shuyi has always been the one with the hold over him. Immediately they got together, Shide also tells Shouyi his confusion but the happiness that Shuyi is also feeling the same towards him.

Shide can't believe the switch in Shuyi's personality and actions for him; Shuyi still tried to play of Shide's grand confessions of love in the last episode, and Shide was okay as long as Shuyi kept paying attention to him. But in my head, it showed that Shide didn't think Shuyi's love was as unconditional, as strong, as uncontrollable as his. He didn't know he had any hold over Shuyi. He thought it was his constant love and chase that won Shuyi in the end, so what happens when he thinks he pushed Shuyi away? In Shide's perspective, he's the one who slacked behind and pushed Shuyi away by disappearing for 5 years, which fair enough makes sense; Shuyi has every right to be angry at being ghosted. But Shide blames himself and thinks it's because his show of love was weakened and slowed down that it caused Shuyi to retreat and walk away easily. Because he wasn't fighting anymore for their love, he lost Shuyi's attention. Again this suggests how fickle he believes Shuyi's feelings are and how still in his head he believes he's the one with the long-lasting love/feelings.

Shide's personality is someone who likes to be in control (like Shuyi but for different ways and reasons); he's kind of had to always be; ever since his dad died, he's had to try and make it his goal to become stronger and better to take care of his mum, and to ensure they live well. This is connected to the theme of Duty and Obligation in the show. Even in Season 1, the reason he has to leave for America for a bit is to ensure his mum settles in nicely. Even after that, he's again the one responsible for ensuring whoever was sick in America was taken care of. It's because of his need to be responsible and be in control that Shuyi always feels distanced from him (mocked, misunderstood, and hurt). Shide is someone who likes to keep a calm demeanour. He likes to take things on by himself; he likes to not show when he's hurting or alone (apart from that one time as a kid where he broke down on Shuyi). In fact, it might be because Shuyi is the only one who did see him in his vulnerable state and gave him an aim to become stronger that made him cling on to his love for him and devote himself to his love for him. But in looking so in control of his emotions, Shuyi always saw Shide as someone who loved winning and making him feel like a fool. In season 1, he thought Shide did it on purpose to see him lose control and be a mess, and in season 2, he's resorted back to that thinking. Let's look at why?

No 1 for You (Shide’s pov) vs Fighting Mr 2nd (Shuyi’s pov)

Shuyi did not also understand the proper depth of Shide's feelings. I guess we should have seen it coming that he didn't fully understand how deep they were, he had heard ideas from Shide's mother, he had heard grand declarations from Shide (after he was the one to pry it out of him), but he didn't actually trust it fully. I think because he didn't fully trust both their sexualities and identities when it came to their feelings. Like I said, we should have seen it coming when he admits he doesn't want to fall for a guy, but also it's because it's Shide he's okay with being in love. However, people complained about this because in BL, we're tired of the I love you, not boys trajectory always chosen. However, it was more than that. I think because of what's embedded in people's minds at a young age (due to society), there might have also been, as a result of that, hints of internalised homophobia (IH) with Shuyi. And that's why it made sense for him to wither and assume that Shide truly would be with someone else and be married and have kids. Because of IH, Shuyi may have automatically thought it made sense that Shide would move on, get married and have kids in America (hence as he said in episode 1, he was disqualified by choice) because, in his head, he didn't understand Shide's love and devotion for him.

It also points to insecurity and fear that he might not be enough/the better option for Shide. One of his pet peeves was that he was always coming second to Shide, he was always being seen by himself as second best, and he probably also thought he had become the second-best option to Shide living a great 'fulfilled' life according to 'society' where he is married to a wife and has kids. This is why in the special episode, he also gives up easily and wishes him the best refusing to actually question why Shide would do this to him after all the stupid and grand promises he made a year ago before he left. Promises of marriage, promises of devotion, of being his family etc. Of course, this felt like Shuyi was thoroughly mocked and lowered because he had lost again to Shide by letting his heart trust him and wait for him. Now, in season 2, he's determined to not do that too. To not lose control of his heart ever again. To not fail to Shide in any way, shape or form ever again.

Shuyi; The Guise of Control

Shide is always acting on the surface like he's in control, causing Shuyi to always think he's more vulnerable and a fool, and it makes season 2 make more sense. Even if Shide says, he'll make Shuyi look at him again, how on earth is he meant to ever let that happen? He literally manipulated the situation in season 1 and got Shuyi's walls down only for him just to cheat on him, so how can Shuyi trust just his actions on the surface?

No matter how devoted Shide is looking, even at the end finally showing a hint of losing control under Shuyi's hold which Shuyi was not expecting because he thought Shide will always want to again be 'proper'. And in the past, it was Shuyi who always pushed for skinship once they started dating; Shide always again acted like he hadn't been affected; this was discussed actually in that final episode. Even if on the surface Shide looked affected, Shuyi wouldn't trust that. Because Shide is always holding back whilst Shuyi always feels like a fool, never being able to control himself around him, never being able to control his emotions or have a poker face around him. From the first episode in season 1, Shuyi has always been uncontrollable when it came to Shide, whilst Shide always came out looking cool.

Shuyi always ended up in the most vulnerable shameful state (forgetfully hurting himself in reaction to Shide's presence, being the one distracted and bothered by skinship in the last episode whilst Shide studied, or even being exposed and screaming down a bridge, his love for Shide to make Shide come out and say how he feels). Shuyi always ended up being weakened and frustrated because Shide seemed like he had everything in order. Shuyi is now adamant he's lying or that Shuyi is still the one who's more in love with him (his biggest fear). For example, the slap he gives to Shide (exposed his lack of control of emotions around Shide) and yet Shide immediately tried to control the situation, making Shuyi again look like the irrational one and the most affected one. Also, as mentioned it Shuyi (in Shuyi's head), who proceeded to force/get Shide to confess. Because Shide was too focused on controlling his environment, avoiding the situation, holding back his feelings, whilst Shuyi's emotions always get the best of him and caused him to still lose in front of Shide. Basically letting Shide get his way all the time. And by doing that, it was Shuyi who ended up waiting for a year and then being 'cheated' on, being ghosted with his heart shattered.

The Fear of Weakness and Vulnerability

Other examples are Shide going to Shuyi's house and ignoring him in his own home (again, Shuyi can't even control his environment when it comes to Shide, everything he owns feels little because Shide seems to have a hold over him in everything), and proceeding to make him the fried rice. Even as the vice president who's meant to be in control and be in charge of letting go of people (which his father is pressuring him to do, he has no choice in the matter), Shide is the CEO (a higher position) of the company and is adamant on convincing Shuyi to do no such thing. It's a big fear to Shuyi, which is why he's determined to ensure he does fire these people because if he doesn't, It means he's again coinciding underneath Shide's hold over him, over everything he has, including his heart.

The act of making fried rice in Shuyi's house as if nothing is going on, Shide ignoring his tantrums and outbursts does again what Shuyi hates, makes him feel stupid, weak and vulnerable. It makes him feel like he's losing again to Shide. This is why I think he really has no other option in his mind to win but to use emotions and feelings (what he can't control) as a weapon to capture Shide. By making Shide fall for him emotionally and then being the one to break his heart, that's how Shuyi thinks he'll finally be able to break down Shide's calm, façade that he's always in control, that's how he stops being Mr Second. Obviously, it's a stupid idea because Shuyi literally becomes weakened just by being in Shide's presence. To be anywhere intimate with him, he will only resort to his own emotions being, even more, harder to handle even if he tries to play it off as just attraction.

And for both of them, control is even harder physically with emotions because they've been 'starved' of each other's presence for 5 years, of each other's touch and connection. As shown in episode 1 of FMS, they're both in a state of pining, longing and waiting for one of them to give in. For 5 years, Shuyi was secretly fighting against the truth that he had been waiting for Shide to return even when he tried to focus all his energy and heart into hate and bitterness (to distract him from the pain of waiting). Shuyi never wanted to give up on hope, never wanted to let go of Shide, because it's out of his control to forget or move on. He couldn't do that even if he tried. This is why he also tries again to use a power play with a fake girlfriend that he couldn't remember the name for. Every single sentence he said was how he compared himself to the girl he thought Shide cheated on him with. He was saying it to hurt Shide, but in the end, he was still exposing his own hurt and insecurity about why he thought Shide left him.

Shide; Control Vs Sacrifice

Meanwhile, the audience all know that, on the other hand, Shide is the one who has no control over the matter. No matter what he seems like on the surface/ in front of Shuyi, Shide is completely tired, weak and frustrated once he sees Shuyi again. It's frustrating because the only time he shows his emotions is once Shuyi isn't looking; he cries only after Shuyi has left, always holding his feelings and only letting it out when he's by himself. Although to Shuyi, it seems he's in control, being the CEO, being the one who disappeared for 5 years, being the one who is successful and influential, Shuyi couldn't be more opposite in his thoughts. Shide has no control over the CEO position; it's not a job he chose for himself, it's not what he wanted to do, he did it because of again his responsibility to his mother and family. Shide isn't the one who chose to disappear for 5 years in America; he again had no control over the situation because someone else was ill, and he had to be the one to help his family again become stable. And lastly, Shide isn't successful and as influential as he's sold his company to Shuyi's father, so he actually isn't in control of his position, of his life essentially. What Shuyi sees as control is unfortunate because it's actually Shide's sacrifice; he's had to lose what he actually wants to be in that position. All he's ever wanted is Shuyi. Ironic no?

Even in Season 1, when he seemed to be the one controlling the situation, he wasn't; he always did everything to get Shuyi, and for 8 years him being 'in control/winner' as Shuyi puts it wasn't him winning because he always didn't get Shuyi's heart before he confessed. And that's what's so heartbreaking about Shuyi's misunderstanding of Shide; when he first sees Shide in the past in his memories, he doesn't know the moment Shide fell for him; he just sees Shide winning over him, he doesn't even notice the first person who had control over the other was him, because he already took Shide's heart, trust and devotion. This is why Shide told him he was the lucky one; he was the one who was winning, who was always in control. Not Shide.

Love and It’s Hold and Power

And again, although Shide is the one he thinks he's second-best to. Shuyi has a lot of power over everyone else since he was young. He's been a spoilt, rich boy who's had control over his friends (in a positive way like they felt they had to watch him and babysit him), he's had control due to his father's power, and he's had control now over Shide just due to again his father's job and his heritage. And I think that's why he can't stand the fact that no matter what he does when he's with Shide, he loses all of that power; he's reduced to wanting to do something for someone, like in season 1, washing the dishes, being humble, exposing his feelings to Shide so loudly and vulnerably. Shide is the only person who makes him want to do all that, and he hates it. It's why when the employees in episode 1 call him again Shide's girlfriend (even though literally Shide bending down to tie his laces is an act of losing control and him being in control of him), it bothers him because it makes him look weak. He's the one flustered by the actions; his heart is shaken by the movement. What he sees about Shide vs what's genuinely being shown/exposed is so opposite, so of course, they're more prone to misunderstandings because they've always both seen the situation very differently.

So WBL has always been using this theme of Control vs Power with Shide and Shuyi. And how, because of love, both of them feel this lack of control over each other. Mostly from season 1, when Shide gets closer to Shuyi using the idea of rivalry to see who can win over each other, even though he gives in always to Shuyi on purpose. Shuyi's misunderstanding has always been an issue since episode 1, since even when Shide kissed him in the pool. This time around in season 2, we get to deal with the actual seriousness/reciprocation of what that misunderstanding and fear of lack of control can do to them. And how others can manipulate that (Shuyi's father probably). Either way, these twos relationship has become angst central because Shuyi really is fighting Mr second, he's determined this time not to lose to Shide no matter what and he's finally using like the last way he can possibly gain control over Shide. His body. The most vulnerable part of a person is exposed when they sleep with someone else; by getting Shide to even want to give in to him as he requested, he can expose everything about Shide, his weakness, his heart, his truths. Hence, it makes sense the relationship is using attraction and chemistry as a powerful tool for the storyline. Shuyi isn't going to be able to even go through with anything because he's just as vulnerable and weak with Shide as Shide is with him.

I love angst, and I love power plays and fight for control in rivals to lovers stories. I love misunderstandings and requited, but they don't know the trope. I just really enjoy WBL, and I'm so excited to see what happens next. Looks like Shide is finally going to lose that façade he has on the surface once he breaks down under the influence of alcohol; probably, poor boy has been suffering so much. And I think both of them will soon need to gain control over their situation together so they can defeat the obstacles that come in the form of Shuyi's father, society, company issues etc. So yeh, I'm loving this, and it's such a breath of fresh air. Friday is too far away, sigh.

#we best love #wbl #wbl: fighting mr. 2nd #we best love: fighting mr. 2nd #fighting mr.2nd #bl series #bl drama #cwg #march #gao shi de #zhou shu yi

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my-bated-breath · 3 years

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Closing Thoughts on Vincenzo

No one asked, but here you go.

I watched the last two episodes of Vincenzo yesterday, but even in the midst of my viewing experience I was able to synthesis and analyze what I was enjoying and not-enjoying, what worked and what didn’t work (for me), so that itself says something about how immersive it was. Of course, Vincenzo is a great show — the action is sharp and satisfying, the schemes are elaborate and spectacular, the humor is cracky yet genuine, and the characters are so, so lovable. And I loved the romance side plot, because yes, I am weak. Still, the last 2-4 episodes strained some of that, and this is my take on why I felt not exactly disappointed, but underwhelmed in the final stretch. I’m also including what I did like at the very end, as that makes sense with how I’m structuring this kind-of-analysis.

spoilers below

Tension, Stakes, and Pay-off

The tension in Vincenzo has been ramped up ever since the death of Vincenzo’s mother, loudly and painfully declaring in that moment that “this is not a game” (contrary to Vincenzo telling Hanseok in jail that he’s toying with him). This leads to a chilling confrontation between Vincenzo and the antagonists while also uniting the residents of Geumga in all-out, unapologetic war. And there is no more game of chess — just one of cat and mouse, with Vincenzo descending upon his prey.

Hence, Vincenzo is noticeably less soft, and he strikes Babel with the steel of his resolve. His schemes feel much more sinister than mischievous as they had been before; he is ending this, once and for all. So, how does the show amp up the tension and stakes from there?

Well, it’s all in what I said before. The tension is teased out in Vincenzo stealing everything Hanseok has ever treasured and then taunting/threatening him in prison, and then with the Babel villains descending into chaos and desperation. The stakes, however, are less noticeable, because Vincenzo is kind of obviously winning. The stakes have already been established with Vincenzo’s mother, then paid off with her death, and then paid off even more with Vincenzo mercilessly seizing the upper hand.

That’s why I feel like Myunghee and Hanseo’s death just... happened. Because it’s been 3 whole episodes since Vincenzo has founded this new resolve, that sort of dragged out follow-up loses its thrill and gratification. They’ve been defeated now, completely and totally. But so what? They’ve been on the losing end for more than 3 hours of screen time now, and even their last resort of a counterattack didn’t hold much narrative weight (which is something I’ll get to later). Their deaths are not boring to say the least — I saw a post that said something similar to “Myunghee, a woman who danced to the music of others’ pain, died dancing to her own” and “Hanseo, a man with no heart, has a hole drilled into that empty cavity.”

But their deaths also happen very isolated from everyone else, not just physically, but emotionally as well. It’s almost as if Vincenzo’s clapping his hands and saying, “Let’s wrap this up now, I’m getting a little tired.” And while I wouldn’t say their deaths are unnecessarily cruel, given everything they’ve done, I don’t think Vincenzo does this in response to anything particularly substantial. Is this for his mother’s death? For Chayoung’s injury? For everyone else? Well, maybe, but it sure didn’t feel like he was contemplating that during or after torturing them. If I put the Vincenzo from the beginning of the show there in those two scenes vs Vincenzo from the end of the show, post character development and all, I think the only difference would be that beginning-of-the-show Vincenzo would still be unfamiliar with Babel’s crimes and see this as a waste of time.

A sort of side note: Now, one of the strong points of this show is its use of comedy in its otherwise very serious schemes (I still thinking about episodes 8 and 15 all the time). But with the impending climax and increasingly serious tone, there was no comedy to make said-serious schemes as engaging to watch. So now unable to rely on one of its greatest strengths, the show must rely on emotional impact. Or similarly: narrative weight.

Narrative Weight

In episodes 19-20, Chayoung is shot, Hanseo dies, and Chulwook is stabbed (and you think he’s going to die but he doesn’t). Who said there was no emotional impact in these episodes again?!

Oh right. Me.

Beyond Hong Yuchan and Oh Gyeongja’s death, injuries and fatalities suffered from our protagonists’ side don’t really have that many consequences. You can argue the consequences of Hanseo dying is that we’re all very sad, but both we and the characters are barely given a moment to grieve before we have to move on. What does Hanseo die for? He dies as an abuse victim just beginning to break out of the cycle he was trapped in, and that itself isn’t necessary a bad narrative choice, and he dies as a warrior in this Mafia vs Conglomerate war, but what does he die for? If it’s for Vincenzo and Chayoung to live, they pretty much get lucky with Hanseo running out of bullets. If it is to show that he had changed, and that this tied into some greater theme of redemption, then his death really isn’t really given enough thought for it to resonate well. I would’ve loved to see Vincenzo reflecting on Hanseo learning to trust and love again, despite all the mistakes he made in the past, and how that influences his own decision to embrace his version of villainous justice. But no. This is something I only thought of after reading a few Vincenzo posts and trying to justify my own moral for the show.

Don’t forget that Chulwook almost dies too. Like I genuinely believed he was dead, shed a tear for the daughter he would never meet, and then the show went like, “Guess what? Psyche!”

I’m not very fond of that injury/pseud-death-but-not-really.

And now we have Chayoung, the person who Vincenzo is the closest to. Don’t get me wrong, I amso weak for her never giving into Hanseo and asking for death over Vinceno getting hurt, for guarding Vincenzo from the bullet, for Vincenzo’s shocked and empty eyes, for Chayoung’s glazed gaze, for him desperately and powerlessly hugging her tightly because that’s all he can do for her now. Afterwards, she’s in the hospital, her shoulder is recuperating, and there’s a nice Chayenzo parallel to episode 4 when Chayoung was waiting by Vinny’s hospital bed. But afterwards afterwards? She’s just in the hospital. Sidelined from the climax.

Vincenzo told her, “I will finish this, for you.” That could’ve worked, because we could’ve seen Chayoung emotionally or spiritually with us during the climax and Myunghee and Hanseo’s deaths. But like I mentioned earlier, it really didn’t feel that way. Ultimately, the narrative tells us that Chayoung’s injury just means she can’t strain herself for a couple of days, despite initially delivering it so dramatically and emotionally.

As one of my friends said while we were discussing this episode: Vincenzo is the titular character, but Chayoung has so much to care for too. Her father died because of Babel, and she said, “We should share the danger.” Instead, we got a decentish-but-slightly-underwhelming scene where she is driven to see Vincenzo off. Okay then.

Characters

Speaking of, Chayoung receives much of the short-end of the character development stick in the last 4 episodes. I found this to be acceptable in episodes 17-18, and she does have that moment where she looked uncertain and nauseated at the death of the “hunting dogs” before shoving down her misgivings, clinging onto a facade of strength as she says “this is what I wanted.” Also, even though it wasn’t episode 14, I wasn’t complaining about the Chayenzo moments either.

But still, this is the second most important protagonist in the narrative and nothing about her really changes in these last few episodes. Nor does she experience catharsis alongside Vincenzo, emotionally or otherwise. There had been some buildup about whether or not Chayoung can swallow the cruel path that she has chosen, but if she’s not even the given the chance to make her own decision on said cruel path, that’s just wasted set up.

(I know that during the Babel Tower party-fiasco Vincenzo told Chayoung that he originally wanted her to push the button that’ll kill one of the hunting dogs, but then decided against it upon seeing Chayoung’s wavering face, but like. Narratively, if she was the one to press it, and then we had some follow-up character arc about her coming to terms with her decision... Oh, we could’ve had it all.)

Another thing I want to point out is that Chayoung has been a foil to Vincenzo in that she represents the happiness, love, and innocence now unattainable to him. (This is just his view, by the way, since Chayoung isn’t exactly innocent herself, which he could’ve seen if the show had only taken this direction.) That is to say, Vinceno’s most interesting character moments are drawn out of him by Chayoung: In his apartment, when they are under the ceiling-stars, and she asks him whether he has ever killed anyone. On the rooftop, when they decide that Hanseok must lose everything before he dies, and he promises to her that he’ll stay in Korea to see things through to the end, in direct contrast to himself at the beginning of the show. In the highway pass, when she embraces him after a gunfight, the closest he’s ever grazed past death. When they drink makgeolli together and he tells her about what her father wanted to say to her. When they sit together by the riverside and she tells him that his mother would have been proud of him.

One of my favorite parts of episodes 11-12 during the gun fight is just how emotionally present Chayoung is, despite not wielding a gun herself, or even being anywhere near the action. I’m not sure if I’m getting this right, but I think this is the first time Vincenzo had killed people on screen, so to see Chayoung embrace him so tearfully afterwards almost felt like he was being reminded of his humanity. And this also shows that Chayoung, despite saying that she would feel distant towards Vincenzo if he did have blood on his hands, loves him closely, so closely it hurts.

We think about Vincenzo, what it means to be a consigliere, and his distorted flashbacks of flesh and blood and killing and losing himself, and that teddy bear, slowly panning out to a child, staring at him in fear. We think about how is it possible for him to love again? Can he even know what love is?

Then Chayoung appears, a woman whose very presence unraveled the mystery that is Vincenzo. But the moment that Chayoung’s development was stunted, that was the moment Vincenzo lost his foil, and we, the audience, lost the ability to see how his past, present, and future reconcile.

Themes: Loving in Sin

In episode 20, Vincenzo and the monks have a conversation about whether he was worthy of love or not before being told that he was Vaisravana — and though he could never be accepted by Buddha, he would be appreciated at times, and he would have his own role to play too. I like this conversation a lot in concept. In execution, it would’ve left much weightier an impact if only we had seen Vincenzo’s journey to reconcile his villainy and humanity play out more, if we had a glimpse into the moral conflict warring in his mind. The last time the drama showed that to us — not told it to us — was with the death of Vincenzo’s mother.

I would add more, really, but I feel like my review up until here says everything I want it to. In my opinion, there was no real epiphany that Vincenzo reached upon hearing those words from the monk because he hadn’t reflected on it enough for there to properly be one. And the ending to Vincenzo and Chayoung’s romance would’ve felt a lot better if it was Vincenzo choosing to love her despite his fear of himself, despite his belief that he could only hurt people. (Also that ending monologue wouldn’t have felt so tacked-on, like, oh wait this is supposed to have a theme right? Here, this is vaguely related, right?)

Because a lot of this emotional potential was not quite met, I think the finale also had to resort to some cheaper ways to make us feel for the romance, such as Chayoung rushing to see Vincenzo off and Vincenzo leaving the diplomacy-relations party early (he very poetically disappears while walking behind this sculpture, but I thought it was hilarious that if the shot didn’t get cut off there in another 2 seconds we could’ve seen him walking out of where that sculpture thing blocked him lol).

Overall though, I’m pretty happy with the romance’s ending, at least conceptually. The way they incorporated the story of cow herder and weaver girl and the bridge of pigeons (not magpies!) that will allow them to see each other again every year was so bittersweet, and as someone familiar with this myth, it made me very nostalgic. Also, I do think it works better with Vincenzo’s themes that he would be apart from Chayoung in some way. They each have their own lives to lead, but although they met by coincidence, they’ll remain by each other’s sides by intention. He is a villain, and so is she, but villains love tenaciously.

#vincenzo #chayoung #chayenzo #chaenzo #which one is it huh #jang hanseo #kdrama #i'm so tired i tried posting this so many times #i made a whole side blog so i could post this review without exposing myself as a kdrama fan #but it's not worth it #anyways these are my thoughts #please let me know yours #but only if you phrase it in a kind way #apparently this is 2279 words of me breaking down #my bated breath analyzes #my bated breath's posts

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jayz4dayz · 3 years

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Can you rate Kakegurui ships??

[For the sake of keeping this as short as I possibly can, I am not going to be including Kakegurui Twin or Kakegurui Midari characters.]

Sure thing! I will go over as many as I can think of including some rare pairs too! There are even a couple straight ships I can think of as well. I know, scandalous~

Yumary: 4/10

As many of you probably know, I’m not the biggest fan of this ship. If you really want an in depth explanation as to why, I’d be happy to do so, but I’m keeping these short.

Fanfic wise, it’s really a hit or miss with me, but usually I will skip a Kakegurui fic with a Yumary tag on it (if it’s the main ship/focus). I will admit though, I have seen some pretty dang cute Yumary fanfics that did catch my attention and left me happy after I read it.

Meariri: 10/10

Yes, yes, everyone knows I am the #1 supporter of this ship and again like I said with Yumary, if you want an in depth explanation for this I will, but this will forever be my favorite Kakegurui ship. My OTP.

It’s just so damn cute and most fanfics I read with their tag gives me serotonin. I mean, what’s not to love? Shy, reserved Ririka x protective tsundere Mary is my jam.

Kirasaya: 8/10

Ah yes, the biggest ship in the fandom with a whopping 708 fic count on AO3 compared to the second biggest ship on AO3 (Meariri btw) with a 389 fic count. I think it’s a tad overhyped and because it has so much attention, I kinda get bored of seeing strictly Kirasaya things everywhere.

Don’t get me wrong! I actually do like this ship a lot! Overall, it’s difficult to imagine Kirari without Sayaka by her side. I always enjoy seeing either fan art or fanfics depicting a flustered Sayaka and smug Kirari. Though bottom!Kirari is close to my heart <3

Yuridari: 9/10

Hell yeah, this is like my second favorite ship. Periodt. I am the captain of this ship and will never stop reading content produced for them. Honestly, this ship is the epitome of opposites attract.

We have Yuriko who is calm, collected, and quiet, then we have Midari who is loud, vulgar, and chaotic almost at all times. The two have a very interesting balance and dynamic, that’s for sure!

Ryomeko: 6.5/10

Ryota and Yumeko don’t have a ship name anywhere, so I just made one for them. Say what you will about Ryota, but I unlike most of the fandom, actually grew to like Ryota. At first I wasn’t too fond of him and didn’t ship him with anyone, but now I know he shows genuine care and concern towards Yumeko and to an extent Yumeko shows the same for him. Arguably, I have to say Ryota is really the only person I can see being with Yumeko where their relationship would be healthy and prosper which the past me would never admit to. Would I ever write them in a fic? Probably not since I don’t really write for straight ships, but I would for sure mention them as a pairing if it came to it!

Itsukaede: 1/10

This may be one of my least favorite ships, actually. I really dislike Itsuki’s relationship/friendship with Kaede and I have from the start. Even during Itsuki’s arc where she gains control over Kaede’s life, their dynamic as a whole seems toxic and I can’t understand why Itsuki has feelings for him. Maybe because she thinks he’s cute? I think he looks musty tbh

Ririsaya: 7/10

So I have not seen many fics, art, or people really talk about this ship, but I am genuinely intrigued by it. I myself plan on writing for this pairing eventually. My opinion on it is that both Sayaka and Ririka deserve good things and being with each other would not only be very good for the two of them, but would be adorable af. I look forward to exploring more their ship.

Miraitsu: 6.5/10

I like it a lot, however points are docked because they only have one real scene/arc together and it’s difficult to produce content of them since they have such little screen/manga appearances together or in general. I will say I like pairing Itsuki with Miroslava a whole lot more than shipping Itsuki with Kaede though. (I also love how the fandom has collectively declared Itsuki as bisexual and I am here for it and also accept that as canon)

Yumedari: 5/10

Not gonna lie, I’m pretty neutral about this ship. I don’t really ship it myself, but I’m not completely turned off by the idea of it either. I know it’s canon that Midari feels something for Yumeko, but I guess the reason why it’s hard for me to climb aboard this ship is because of Yumeko’s disgust towards Midari. Canon wise, this ship sunk long ago. Fandom wise, I know some Yumedari shippers are still kicking which I can respect as a rare pair shipper myself.

Yumesaya: 5.5/10

Same as Yumedari basically. I don’t particularly ship this myself, but it has crossed my mind once again. This is basically Yumedari but with more tension, less masochism, and a shit ton of homoeroticism. The only difference is I could and might possibly give writing this pairing a try, hence why the plus half a point for the rating.

Maryota: ??/10

People ship this?? With Mary’s gay ass and harem??? I don’t even have an opinion of this. It’s like shipping a straight man with a lesbian... oh wait-

Maryitsu: 3.5/10

Okay look. I can’t see them being anything more than friends, at most friends with benefits. The two of them have the romantic compatibility of a teaspoon in all honesty. Still better than Itsukaede though.

Yumemisaori: 8/10

SEVERLY UNDERATTED?! LIKE?? Hear me out. Cute shy assistant x bubbly pop star is so freaking sweet. Also, it makes Yumemi’s character much more likable in my eyes. Imagine being fawned over by thousands of men but you’re secretly a lesbian who’s in love with the girl who’s only supposed to have a professional relationship with you. I live for that ironic shit. In other words, it’s Kirasaya with more steps and more obstacles.

Sayadari: 6/10

This is childhood friends to lovers and you cannot convince me otherwise. Canonly, I think it would be fair to say if Kirari wasn’t in the picture, Midari would be Sayaka’s love interest (if the creators focused on romantic relationships and the side characters and such).

Kiramary: 4/10

This takes hot x cold to a whole new level. There could be sexual tension between these two for sure, but as for romantic... I stick with shipping Mary with the better other Momobami twin. Kiramary just isn’t for me. I am open to hearing any other opinions on this since I don’t think many people ship them anyway and it is a really rare pairing, but still exists.

Welp, that’s all I can really think of at the moment! Let me know if you agree or if there are any ships missed! :)

#kakegurui #ships #yumary #meariri #kirasaya #yuridari #ryomeko #itsukaede #ririsaya #miraitsu #yumedari #yumesaya #maryitsu #yumemisaori #sayadari #kiramary

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fumiko-matsubara · 3 years

Text

Chiba Ryuunosuke ー The calm type of social butterfly?

So yesterday, Zaina and I had a fairly long talk about how Chiba is a lot more social and friendly than he appeared to be despite being a supposed introvert.

And no, I am not just talking about him being comfortable in his own friend group, which is a very normal thing among introverted people. In fact, if you actually read the manga and some of the extra materials Matsui had released post-AssClass, most of the students you see him interacting with the most are the ones who are outside of his friend group... well, that is if you consider his friend group being him and the art trio even though there are hardly any scenes of them actually interacting in canon but ahehe.

Zaina pointed out to me, or rather stated an unpopular opinion about how Group 2 is like the kids have their seperate group of friends instead of them being a whole friend group, which is a popular take in the fandom, and I completely agree with her. Because think about it, we have the Art trio (Sugaya, Mimura, and Okajima), Hayami is friends with Touka and possibly even Hinano as well, Fuwa has Ritsu and Hara initially, and Nakamura just goes to whatever friend group she sees and dives right in.

As for Chiba (take this with a grain of salt as this is purely based from how I generally understood his character in the manga), I believe that he has almost the same case as Nakamura whereas instead of forcing himself into random friend groups like she does, he gets pulled into different friend groups because he had gained the trust of the rather many people he had interacted with before.

I'm basing this assumption from some of the kids I've seen him interacting with in the mangaー Hinano, Maehara, Sugino, Okano, Isogai, Kimura, Okajima, and Karma to name a few. As for the extra materials like the albums and the novel parts of the lesson books (korotan and korosuu), there was Nakamura, Nagisa, and Takebayashi as far as I still vaguely remember.

I find it so interesting that despite the little screen time he had even in the manga, he still managed to be seen interacting and maybe even becoming friends with at least one member from each group, the most being in Group 1 (5 out of 7 members) which is also the group that has most of the class extroverts.

This pretty much supports my headcanon about how Chiba finds it easier to get along with people who are more talkative than he is instead of people who are quieter than him, because he doesn't feel pressured to hard carry a conversation, which is something he understandably struggles with for someone whose only source of social interaction growing up was with his family, as I have previously talked about in here.

This also explains why he struggled to get along with Hayami outside of school even though they worked so well together whenever they get paired up for training and such.

And no, I am not saying that Chiba is an extrovert. He still is not despite what I have said, not even an ambivert actually. He's just a very social introvert. Not exactly loud nor very talkative, but he finds it easy to approach anyone who is willing to look past his supposed unapproachable appearance and just talk to him without prejudice. He's not the type to unnecessarily bring attention to himself when in a group, definitely not lol. But he's the kind of social introvert who prefers to be in a friend group with extroverted people and would already be contented with just watching his loud friends having fun.

How do I say this? He likes the commotion without wanting to cause said commotion lol.

Chiba is also canonically empathetic, observant, and quietly looks after people. This was evidently shown in the Takaoka arc when he asked Hinano regarding her feelings about the situation despite the very welcoming front Takaoka had firstly shown to the class on his first day, which shows that despite Hinano's fixation towards Karasuma being considered as mere fangirling that can be brushed off, Chiba still pays attention enough that he'd consider her feelings for something as supposedly simple as substitute teaching. (The anime adaptation completely omitted this scene by the way, hence why it may be unfamiliar to some of you).

What really hit me in this panel (It's seriously just one panel lol), was that Chiba was so casual when he asked Hinano about it. As in, you could tell he probably doesn't want this to be made a big deal of, let alone accidentally bring unnecessary attention to Hinano. Because I assure you, if he instead pulled her in and whispered to her, people around them will find it suspicious at how they are huddling together and will make a big deal out of it then (reminder: more than half of Class E are ridiculously nosy).

Chiba clearly knows that and definitely doesn't want that to happen to Hinano, of all people. Especially considering what happened later in the chapter or, what nearly happened to Hinano only because she decided to be loud about it. Yikes.

I know a lot of people like to use what Chiba had subtly done for Karma in the finals arc as a popular example, since it's also one of the only scenes that had made it to the anime adaptation. But I decided to give more light to what he had done for Hinano because it fully showcases how observant and caring he is and at the same time, taking more of his surroundings into consideration.

Zaina also added how while he's the type to quietly enjoy the commotion his extroverted friends do whenever they have fun, whenever he feels that someone is likely feeling left out, he'd be also the type to try including them in and making sure that they feel belonged. Because I don't know about y'all, but unless they deserved it, I strongly believe Chiba wouldn't want people to go through what he did growing up.

Now the question is, how does Chiba get along so well with plenty of people?

Honestly, if you looked past his appearance, which inadvertently does make him seem very quiet and gloomy, Chiba has always been a friendly and happy kid. The independent, mature, and serious side of him is mostly showcased whenever he's in "work mode", which is pretty telling that he clearly knows when to take things seriously and when to have fun. Chiba is known to be very calm and gentle among the class, which is definitely the big part of his personality that drew non-judgemental people towards him (this was stated in the korosuu, @clownao please confirm this unless I'm remembering it wrong T-T).

Unless you're one of the many people who stubbornly refuses to approach him due to his appearance, Chiba's personality is what makes him naturally likeable, especially with his classmates. Like who wouldn't want to be friends with someone who's just as unconditionally kind as he is?

And to think that he still managed to turn out like this despite the social bullying he had went through growing up 💔

Just so you know, I am completely basing this from the screen time he had in the series (anime, manga, and the extra materials), as in what was shown canonically. For all we know, he's probably friends with everyone in the class and that Matsui just didn't bother showcasing them all since Chiba is just a side character who doesn't have to have many screen time.

People just either avoids him, don't bother talking to him, or straight up just wants to be his friend.

There are no other options outside of the given three :D

#this was longer than I thought lol #please let me know your thoughts about this if you have some #I would love to talk #assassination classroom #ansatsu kyoushitsu #chiba ryuunosuke #ryuunosuke chiba #meta #analysis #long post

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quirklessidiot · 4 years

Text

Title: coward :: coming clean Pairing: Y/N x Miya Atsumu Genre: angst, romance, and very slow burn [ex to lovers au] Warnings: Cursing, alchohol, mentions of unprotected sex, unplanned pregnancy, and mentions of abortion

Synopsis: You try to push him away from you but he isn’t taking any of it, the much long-awaited confrontation is there but you’re still finding a way out.

notes:

have yall seen the new season?? mY FUCKING HEART MAN NSNDNND it got me so stoked i literally wrote something about kita after that trailer skdjjdm kita is so underrated. I love him.

also, a huge thank you for the 200+ followers. Ma’am i literally only had this tumbler a month ago and im already celebrating a lot of milestones, hence i present you a more angsty chapter! I hope you’ll love it <3

previous next masterlist

“You’re on gossip sites.”

“Tsum-tsum, why are you so close to L/N-san? I thought you hated her.”

“Riku-chan’s calling me-”

“Everyone shut up.” The setter throws the ball on the ground, “It’s not what it fucking looked like.”

“Can we talk, ‘tsumu?” Osamu’s voice resonates the most and Miya Atsumu knows where this is going already by the sound of it. He was surprised to see his brother come by today but when he sees why, he takes it back.

No wonder.

He follows him to the quieter side of the gym, he notices the tense air between them and he knows what's about to follow. He hopes that Osamu does this quickly, he has to practice well since he needs to impress those brats when the game comes up and try to let them have their eyes on him and not on Tobio and Shoyo.

“What the hell are you thinking?” His brother growls, “You have a fucking girlfriend. Y/N has kids and is very much in love with the dead guy who isn’t yo-”

“Why the fuck are you all getting up my ass when its about Y/N?” he suddenly cuts his brother off, eyes narrowed and jaw clenched, “It's been that way since you met her eight years ago. Just tell me that you didn’t like her from the start. You didn’t like her because she was different.”

“I didn’t like her because she wasn’t good for you.” the grey-haired twin barked back in reply, “In case ya don’t remember, You were a fucking mess after she left, Atsumu. You were almost not able to make it into the jackals because of what she did!”

Osamu wasn’t calling him by his nickname anymore, it seemed that the weight of the situation was too serious for him.

“Well, I’m here now aren’t I?”

“And you’re getting involved with her again. Can’t you give it a fucking rest already?”

“No.”

“Miya Atsumu.” He glowered, grabbing his brother by the collar of his jersey, “Don’t throw a good woman and your career away for someone like her.”

“I’m not throwing shit, ‘samu.” He hissed, slapping his hand away but before he could walk out, the younger twin grabs him and yanks him back, swinging a fist right at his face. The team members of the black jackals are immediately thrown into panic and chaos with what’s happening. Hinata and Bokuto grabs onto Osamu restraining him from damaging the setter even more while Shion and Meian hold back the blonde setter from throwing a punch, “Stop acting like a fuckin’ brat, ‘tsumu.” The twin yelled while Atsumu flipped him off with a middle finger, clearly showing no signs of restraint.

Sakusa remains far from them and snorts underneath his breath, completely indifferent, “Fuckin’ idiots.”

The twins end up at the infirmary right after, Atsumu lets out a heavy sigh as he recalls the feeling of his brothers fist. They’ve never fought this bad since high school and Osamu was never one to be triggered easily.

This just showed how grave the situation was.

A curtain separates them both as they lay on their separate beds, “You’re stupid, ‘tsumu.” Osamu calls out his twin as he lays on the bed of the infirmary, a patch on his forehead and a bandaged hand. Atsumu, on the other hand, has a busted lip and swollen cheek.

“I’m not fucking five, ‘samu and whatever you saw in that picture wasn’t what it looked like.”

“But you still love her very much.”

Silence ensued between the pair and Osamu breaks it off with a long sigh, “Ya gonna be some scrub that chases after her again or something? Break off with your girlfriend right now who looks and acts better than her-”

“Stop.” Atsumu cuts his brother off, sitting up to open the curtain to face him head on, “so, so what if I still like her? So what if I want to break off with Riku and be with her and try to take that bastards place?”

“Yer outta your mind.”

“It’s my fuckin’ life.”

“It is but I’m not watching you throw yourself away for that woman.” Osamu paused, “Just what the fuck do you see in her? She feels nothing for ya, even when you dated-”

“Now that’s a fucking lie.” Atsumu defended you, eyes glowering right at his twin, “You didn’t see how Y/N would take care of me whenever we were alone. You don’t see how selfless she was most of the time and how she doesn’t expect me to be some character that everyone expects, shit, you don’t even see how she’d patiently sit down and just listen me babble off about how bad my day was when I didn’t even know she was from a fucking bad family with a bad life back then!”

Atsumu is panting from that long explanation and he’s shaking because why couldn’t they see it? Why couldn’t they see how much you tried back then? How relationships were so out of your comfort zone but you force yourself to try it because he asked you too. He feels sick, he feels sick that they couldn’t see. That they could only see the tip of the iceberg.

“Yet she doesn’t feel the same for you.” Osamu points out, “Not anymore. So stop clinging onto her with those past memories of yours and move on, ‘tsumu. Fuckin’ suck it up, life isn’t fair.”

“Nope, don’t wanna.”

“ ‘tsumu-”

“I-I’m breaking up with Riku. I want Y/N back in my life, I want her. I-I’ve never wanted anything so badly since volleyball, ‘samu. If I have to wait again, shit, I-I don’t fucking mind.”

Osamu sees the glint of conviction in his eyes and lets out another hefty sigh, god, he feels like he’s aging faster because of his twin, “I know you won’t listen to me.” he settled, he knew that if Atsumu wanted something, he wouldn’t stop until he got it, “Just know that I fucking told you so.”

You’re wary.

After that little stint your mother had pulled, she kept calling you and bothering you. It also didn’t help that you ended up on tabloids because someone had caught wind of that little moment you and Atsumu had. If it weren’t for your kids' over-excitement on Atsumu’s promise, you wouldn’t be here, “...Y/N-san? Are you alright?” Sugawara asks, tilting his head in curiosity as you enter the arena.

Some people seemed to have recognized you and the kids that you had to hold onto them tightly in case anyone did try to approach you.

“I’m good.”

“Kaasan, kaasan, I saw a super big picture of Hinata-san!” Youta called out, pointing at a rather big banner of the orange-haired blocker.

“I think I saw Kageyama-san buying milk, can I follow him, kaasan?” Yuuto adds, blinking innocently as he looked at one of the stalls.

Sugawara is absolutely in awe by your calmness in this situation, he knows that you’re probably feeling far from alright after all those gossip articles came out. Atsumu, of course, tries to lessen your burden by letting out a public statement that you were his good friend back in college but it didn’t really help since someone tweeted a picture of the both of you back in college with the caption that you were exes.

“Could you do me a favor, Sugawara-san?” you turn to the man, “Do you mind switching seats with me? Stay with the boys in front while I just stay at your seat?”

“Sure but wouldn’t Atsumu be-”

“Please.” You frowned, giving your ticket to him, “I’ll take the kids right after the match.”

The boys looked at you in complete wonderment when you didn’t follow them to the front row. You maintained a good distance as the game started, the players being introduced on the big screen. Your eyes narrow when Atsumu gets out of the dugout and gazes at your kids in confusion then around the crowd as if he was looking for someone.

“Don’t be silly.What feelings would there be but hatred?”

“It’s anything but that, L/N-san.”

You felt your fists clench as soon as the game started, you wanted to direct your focus to the game but Inunaki’s words kept bothering you and pestering you throughout the whole thing. Why did Atsumu like doing this to himself? Was this some sort of premonition? Were you going to have to tell him?

What if it ended up like your parents?

Would your kids end up like you?

Cold, untrusting, and anxious?

Would you end up like your mother?

A borderline alcoholic, desperate for a man’s love?

Would Atsumu wake up and realize one day that this was all a mistake and call you one too? Blaming you for every single bad thing in his life?

You held your doll tightly on your hands as you held your breath behind the pillar, you had just come home from Daiki’s house as you heard the loud voices of your parents arguing again. For the past years, it seemed to have worsened and you spent more time around your friend’s house rather than this cold and big empty place you called home.

“...are you doing? It's the middle of the day! Stop drinking!” you hear your father bellow.

“What’s it to you? Shouldn’t you be around with that young woman? That whore you proudly call your business associate?”

You flinch as you hear those harsh words and the sound of a bottle breaking, it seemed like the argument was particularly bad today. You shakily make your way up to your room, wanting to avoid this ordeal and skip dinner but fate wasn’t on your side today.

Despite your light footsteps, they seem to have noticed your presence.

Your father’s eyes soften just a bit while your mother’s remain cold. As much as possible, you grew up wanting to avoid those scary and expressionless eyes. At the young age of five, you feared your mother and loathed your father at the same time but that didn’t stop the fleeting feeling of wanting them to change. Wanting to feel the warmth and youth that every child craved for.

You suck in a deep breath, “I-I’m home, okaasan, otosan.”

“You’re always out these days, Y/N.” her voice is cold, far from the warmth that a mother should have.

“I-I was out with Daiki.”

“With that boy again?” a frown immediately paints her features, a small tsk under her breath to signal how disappointed she was of you yet again, “Aren’t you supposed to be studying? You said you wanted to skip a grade this year.”

“I-I am.” you replied, “B-but Daiki-”

“All you need to do is study and get good grades, Y/N.” she cuts you off, walking close to you, the smell of alcohol growing stronger, “Is that something too hard to do? Are you being ungrateful now?”

You turn to your father for help but he remains unmoved, was he really going to watch your mother do this to you? You hold onto your doll tightly, trying to control yourself. You shouldn’t cry, especially not in front of them.

“N-No, okaasan…”

“Then why are you crying, Y/N?”

Your eyes widen as you feel the wet substance flowing down. No, no-

“Answer me.” she repeats, you feel the tears flowing down faster, “Why are you crying, Y/N? Are you feeling ungrateful? Is that how it is-”

“(M/N) That’s enough!�� Your father finally says but your mother continues to ignore your father.

“Don’t you think we should tell her that she shouldn’t feel sad?” she expressed, telling your father as if you weren’t standing there, “After all, we didn’t have her aborted, she should be grateful we let her live well with three meals a day and expensive clothes and belongings. Even if she was a mistake.”

You're shaking so hard at the moment, you didn’t like where this was going at all. Your father can’t respond to your mother’s blank tone, did he agree too? Were you, were you really just a mistake? Countless questions flooded your head as she walked close to you, her cold presence looming over you even more so today. With the same blank and expressionless tone, she says, "if you probably hadn't been born, we would've been happier. We'd have better lives, Y/N. So don't go around and cry and think you got it bad, you hear me? Your sadness is nothing compared to ours. It's nothing, Y/N. So stop being ungrateful."

You watch as the game comes to an end. You had zone out for the most part, the fleeting memory of your past and your anxiety bubbling up couldn’t keep you still. You texted Sugawara that you’d meet him and the boys at the front.

You were about to leave your seat when you saw the blonde approach the kids after the game, ruffling their hairs and pinching their cheeks with a huge smile. Why couldn’t you be as open as Atsumu? Why couldn’t you express yourself well?

You shut your eyes tight and turn to the exit, right, you were a coward. You didn’t face things like this head-on, you ran from them because in all your life, the only thing you knew was fear from people you expected love from.

“Y/N…”

You turn to find Atsumu standing there, still in his jersey and a towel hung on his shoulder like he had just ran out to chase you. Where was Sugawara and the kids? Why weren’t they here yet? What is he even doing here? You grab his wrist and immediately pull him towards a private area.

“Are you out of your mind? What are you doing? You have a girlfrie-”

“We broke up.” he cuts you off.

“W-what?”

“We broke up.” He repeats, “I couldn’t stay with her anymore, Y/N.”

You clenched your fists, what was he even thinking? Wouldn’t the rumors worsen if he broke up with her now?

“I-I can’t let you go again.” Atsumu confessed, throwing all his pride out the window again for you because damn it all, you are worth it, “I can’t keep pretending that I’ve moved on when I’m clearly hung up on you.”

“What are you doing?” You spat, anger slowly creeping in, all the pent up emotion towards him being released, “Why would you do that?”

Atsumu notices the change of emotion, you’re getting angry. It’s a complete contrast to what he was expecting, he’d expect the calm and cool exterior, even expected you to cooly reject him like the past but this, this was new, “Why can’t I?”

“Are you out of your mind?” You exclaimed, “I left you! I have kids from another man-”

“So?” He asks, walking closer to you. The familiar smell of perfume and sweat invaded your senses, something you were accustomed to when you were dating him back then. He traps you between the wall and him. You can see the busted lip, what happened to him? Did he got into a fight? You feel like your mind was turning blank by the sudden events. You want to say something, anything but he’s rendering you speechless again, “What if I tell you I don’t care? What if I tell you that I still feel the same even after all this time?”

“Y-You're insane...I-I’m in love with someone else-” you tried to lie but you remember this is Miya Atsumu, he doesn’t give two shits and was willing to work as hard as he could to get what he wanted.

“Y/N, your kids told me that the bastard left. Why didn’t you tell me?” he cuts you off, this time, his voice seemed disappointed and angry yet you didn't know if it was towards you.

“W-what would you have done then?”

“If you’d come back to me then,” he paused, voice turning soft, “I would’ve helped you. I would’ve been there to stand in as a father if you even needed one.”

You’re trembling at his confession, were those words really from the heart?

“Y/N, I don’t know what happened between you and that guy.” he laughs, he didn’t expect it to be like this, that even after six years he’d still be pinning over the same woman who repeatedly broke his heart, “I don’t know what happened between you and your fucked-up family. All I do know is that I’m still in love with you and I’m willing to wait here until you’re ready. I won’t ever leave, Y/N. I-I don’t think I ever will.”

“You’re crazy.” You shakily point out, you’re in a fit of rage. You’re angry at him, you’re angry that he still lowers himself to you when he could do so much better, you’re angry that he still feels the same after all the shit you put him through, most of all, you’re angry at yourself because you couldn’t own up and tell him about everything.

Atsumu slowly holds up his hands, wanting to cup your cheeks but it is immediately swatted away. He notices that you’re trembling now, your facade, slowly crumbling.

“What made you think that I’d come back to you?” Your voice was trying to maintain it’s cold and emptiness tone yet your eyes showed the complete opposite, “Please be selfish for once, Miya-san. Just because you give your all to me, does not mean I’ll return it. I hope I really don’t see you again.”

taglist [taglists are sadly closed now, thanks guys <3]

@fortheloveofiwaizumi ; @svtbitch ; @kiyoomile ; @lovedanii ; @juno-multifandom ; @gyubit17 ; @saeranoppa ; @nixxona ; @kyomihann @shorttstackk ; @intoomuchfandoms ; @yammmers ; @mx-minxx @itsmattsunshinehere ; @missingmystogan ; @volleybloop ; @imcravingyou ; @yams-wants-that-booty ; @liathachcapricious ; @pinknugget @seikamuzu ; @marigoldthoughts ; @sillykittt ; @baejinoffcl ; @alluring-akaashi ; @bnhasstuff ; @intheawks ; @bokuakadaily ; @agaassi ; @yams046 ; @dope-squish ; @chrisrue15 ; @vermillionwaves ; @demursv1ogs ; @just-snog-already ; @angmarwitch ; @angmarwitch ; @simpingonothers ; @woo-youngs ; @cowward ; @chaelysian ; @sempiternal-amour ; @jungshookmeup ; @jovialnoise ; @karlitabi-rrito ; @iwaizluv ; @sugarandsoft ; @tspice283 ; @ohshirabu

@misosamu @Etherynaw @ryaaaax @differentballooncollection @keniloveshaikyuu @allysasteaparty @syzygymai [hi, i can’t seem to tag u guys, i think you need to open your tags uwu]

#haikyuu imagines #haikyu!! fanfics #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu angst #miya atsumu x reader #miya atsumu imagine #atsumu x reader #atsumu imagines #miya atsumu scenarios #miya atsumu fanfiction #miya atsumu #coward series #haikyuu atsumu #miya twins

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bleulone · 3 years

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i love your analysis so much! i have a question as well, like, how do you envision polin's sex scenes ? thanks for your answer (:

Hey! Thank you very much :)) I have no idea if they are that even good but I’m happy you like them. It’s just my brain tending to produce some iNsIGhiTfUL analyses though they usually end up drowned under a huge wave of stupidity and horrid spelling/grammatical mistakes XD. So, about Penelope and Colin’ sex scenes, I guess we’re getting spicy in this house 🌶. I mean, I don’t blame you. Who’s not hot for Polin ?! The steamy Polin hours have already begun and they’re legit challenging my patience. (Be still my Polin heart, be still).

Okay, without further ado, let’s talk about sex baby, shall we ? It’s a pretty long answer/meta so bear with me.

I don’t know if you’ve read Romancing Mister Bridgerton, but a quick reminder (for those who haven’t... yet), there are a bunch of iconic steamy scenes that I’m dying to watch on screen. First we have the famous “thank you” scene where Penelope, now a 28 year-old spinster, asks Colin to kiss her because she doesn’t want to die without having been kissed... then ends up thanking him— which happens to be humiliating for our 33 year-old boy because he thinks that she thinks he did it out of pity while he absolutely did not. The man definitely felt butterflies in his stomach... and in other places as well lol. We also have the ICONIC carriage scene where Colin gives Pen’s generous bosoms™ the attention they deserve. This is followed by his proposal. Later on, after the announcement of their engagement, there’s a pretty hot make-out scene on Lady Violet’s sofa. Finally, we have their first time in Colin’s bedroom, after sneaking out of their own engagement party... which leads Colin to push the wedding date forward. At this point, I just love their horniness, especially Colin’s who’s just so freaking amazed by Penelope for more than 300 pages straight (duh! who isn’t ???).

When you say envision, I suppose you mainly refer to the way those scenes will be filmed right ? I’m afraid I don’t have an advanced knowledge in film-making but let me start by telling you what elements need to be depicted. I would love Shonda and Chris to capture the real essence of our boos’ feelings : the yearning, the love, the respect and the guilt (specifically on Colin’s side) in their eyes. The more we move forward throughout the seasons, the more we see different layers of the perceptions of they have of each other, going from a childish idealization/immature ignorance to a sudden realization. A mature one. Penelope goes beyond the facade of the charming devil-may-care guy to meet the seriousness and temper of her significant other. Meanwhile Colin discovers how confident, powerful and attractive this woman is and always has been. It echoes what I’ve written about the importance of the gaze in Polin’s love story in this meta. By the time season 4 hits, man... their heart eyes and eye-fucking will jump OUT XD, all fibers of their beings, burning with need. The fact that this evolution took literally years is very emotionally painful, which is why I find it important to keep the slowness aspect of their relationship before and during their love making. I’m really looking forward a slow build-up toward their intimacy. It would differ from Daphne and Simon who merely shared one hell of a kiss in Lady Trowbridge’s garden then shared their sexy times after they married or Anthony and Siena’s rough sex... In fact, there’s a certain (sweet) ardent tenderness in Polin I like due to the fact that they’re slowly (re)discovering each other, as adults. Since they were both introduced in season 1, the audience will have all the time in the world to notice numerous evidences of the many natures of love they have for one another : from an affectionate and friendly love to a more carnal and enduring one.

Okay so, in terms of filming, with Netflix’s Bridgerton being a show which promotes the female gaze, it wouldn’t be that much of a surprise watching those sex scenes being shot from Penelope’s perspective, like it was the case with Daphne in the first installment of the series. Most of the time, sex scenes in Historical Romance are not gratuitous. Their presence serve an important purpose in a hero/heroine’s journey. In Penelope’s case, they’re here to help her learn to embrace and love herself. In other words, sexuality is synonym of freedom. I don’t know if they’ll show a lot of skin, but I won’t be complaining considering the fact that we’ll have the chance to get a chief kiss treat on screen : a plus size woman in a major successful Netflix period drama getting a love story as romantic and steamy as other more “fit” female characters. No, your weight doesn’t prevent you from being desirable at all. As far as I’m concerned, I haven’t watched a plus-size female character portrayed as an attractive protagonist in a period drama (please if you have, let me know, I can be wrong). Having a beautiful half bare curvy body like Nicola’s being equally filmed like numerous slim actresses will be so inspiring and powerful to watch, especially for (young) women who struggle, like Penelope, to love their body shape which, to them, doesn’t “fit” the “beauty standards”. By showing her female gaze and portraying her as seductive, Pen’s “supposed” imperfections transform themselves into mighty assets, loved and worshipped by our dashing Mister Bridgerton. That’s body positivity at its finest darling ;).

It will be deliciously erotic watching the undressing process being exquisitely slow, garment by garment, while their gaze are all heated and hungry. Their sex/make-out scenes should be tender and passionate, sweet and raw. The lightning, colored by a dark blood orange yellow or a blue depending the locations^^. Moreover, the depiction of the exploration of Penelope’s desire can translate itself thanks to multiple close ups. For instance, I can imagine a few ones on Pen’s fingers gently roaming over the smooth skin of Colin’s firm chest and back/touching his hair right after he removed his shirt. And a disheveled Colin letting his hands and lips making a journey of their own, mapping, conquering the alluring unknown territory that is her gorgeous voluptuous body... kissing her on the places he knows oh too well will give her pleasure (is this me wanting him to go down on her?— um yeah I sure hope it IS! If he doesn’t, trust me imma riot... AGAIN). Even a close up on her face while Colin is performing his addictively pleasing torment will be a marvelous proof of the female gaze. By the way, why not even adding a post-coital scene after their first time ? I can picture Penelope waking up first and contemplate her handsome soon-to-be husband. She’d bring her hand to his face and let it travel all around his forehead, his cheeks, his lips, his neck and let it rest on his heart— making sure that what she’s just experience was real... obviously, Colin will wake up in the process and he’ll take this as his cue to go for another round of sexy times under the sheets.

Showing Pen reaction is essential according to me because she was stuck with the idea that she would never experience the luxury of being loved, giving pleasure nor receiving it... she ended up being happily wrong. Throughout her multiple intimate encounters with Colin, I want her to progressively realizes that she can be an active partner. In the carriage, she knew she had an effect on him, but it’s not until their first time that she actually realizes it. Hence the reason why I WANT the mirror’s introduction in one of their sex scenes. Here’s as a little reminder an excerpt from chapter 18 :

“I want to see you sitting up," he groaned, "so I can see them full and lovely and large [about Pen’s breasts]. And then I want to crawl behind you and cup you." His lips found her ear and his voice dropped to a whisper. "And I want to do it in front of a mirror."

“Now?” she squeaked.

He seemed to consider that for a moment, then shook his head. "Later," he said, and then repeated it in a rather resolute tone. "Later.”

It would be such a shame if the show doesn’t use the incredible potential of this object (/kink). I mean, the symbolism is pretty clear. Penelope has always fled her “ugly” reflection but it seems like Colin wants to show the real her, the beauty that holds every single inch her alabaster skin and the effects they have on him. Thus, I would love to watch a scene where Colin just praises the alluring goddess and siren that is Penelope Featherington. Just imagine! Just IMAGINE the power of this scene : a shirtless Colin sitting behind her on a bed, meeting her gaze in the mirror, his lips touching her right ear, biting and licking the lobe sometimes, whispering all kinda of dirty yet poetic words to her while letting his hands caress her thighs, her hips, her arms, her lovely bosoms™... oof. At the same time, a wonderful and harmonic instrumental music will play in the background and match the melodic partition of shudders, breathes and moans let out by our lovers. I can imagine Luke inspiring himself from his performance in the 2019 short film, Youth In Bed. The way he conveyed the awe and the yearning on his face, in his eyes with his mouth slightly open when he knelt before his partner Shun Yin was just captivating and— and so Colin! I cannot help but bring myself to picture Ethan, the character he played in YIB, in a Polin steamy scene. I cannot unsee this anymore jsksk. I mean, all this gifset radiates this book4chapter18!Colin, you cannot tell me otherwise!

Also, I would love Shonda and Chris to keep Pen and Colin’s cute/emotional pillow talk. One thing I really love in JQ’s books is the concern she gives to her male protagonists about potentially hurting their partner during the act of penetration. Colin is a rake, and what his experience with women taught him is that he needs to be very gentle with the love of his life. It was so adorable seeing him not wanting to harm her and asking her to tell him if he does anything she doesn’t like 🥺. Plus, before actually doing it, Colin and Penelope shared a few kisses and just laid down side by side, confessing their love. Though our boy kept feeling guilty about not returning her love after all these years. He desires nothing but to make up for the lost time and show his love and desire during this special intimate moment. I hope they’ll keep all of chapter 18’s dialogue. It’s just so telling of our boos’ feelings, you see.

All in all, I can’t wait to watch those Polin steamy scenes. As much as I may sound crazy, I want them after two other seasons of pure pining and yearning in order to have a very good payoff. I’m not an expert on depicting intimacy on screen, but I loved so far what Lizzy Talbot, the intimacy coordinator who worked on the show, have done in season 1. Sex scenes in Bridgerton seem very real and dive you in the intimacy of the moment, leaving you all flustered and hot. So probs to her! I have faith in her work and have no doubts about what her and the directors will serve us in future seasons. Though, in the end, I think it’s mostly up to the actors, Nicola and Luke, to see if they’re comfortable filming sex scenes.

If you guys have any suggestions or wishes for those steamy polin scenes, please do share them :) by commenting on this post or by sending me asks! I’d love reading your thoughts/take on this very important matter ;))

#bleulone answers #meta and gush #polin #colin x penelope #bridgerton #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #polin meta #ask #anon #luke newton #julia quinn #nicola coughlan

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mxgilray · 3 years

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I... have some thoughts on the Loki finale. It was not what I was expecting, but I'm still hopeful for season 2.

This felt like a meh finale, like how a lot of season finales felt in Spring 2020 when they unexpectedly quit filming and had to cut things short by a couple episodes thanks to the pandemic. Only this was the planned out finale, they should've given a bit more oomph. I'm quite a fan of exposition and character development usually, but all the dialog was centered on He Who Remains, so it felt like our main characters were just side pieces.

Plus, the final "cliffhanger" of Mobius not knowing Loki and the statue of HWR replacing the Time Keeper statues felt quite lackluster. Not sure how they could've made it hit harder, but it didn't deliver the "oh shit" vibes they intended, but maybe that's cuz Mobius not remembering Loki has been an expected plot line on tumblr for half the season so it wasn't a blindside.

I get the point of the Sylki kiss. From what I've seen on tumblr so far I feel like the nuance of Sylvies actions was lost to most people (both Sylki fans and antis just Didn't Get It). It wasn't a big declaration of love like the fans are grasping onto it as, and it wasn't shoving selfcest into the canon to keep the heternormativity like antis are accusing it of being; it was Sylvie using Loki's attachment to her to trick him. She needed Loki out of her way, and she knew the only way to get past him and get He Who Remains' tempad was through emotional distraction. She used his love against him and betrayed him, a kiss was simply the most efficient way to do it. I did a whole post last week about Sylvie's feelings towards Loki, but to sum up I firmly believe that while Loki harbors some romantic feelings for Sylvie, she feels strictly platonic towards him, but is very aware of his attraction. She took advantage of his care for her to get the upper hand during their fight. Heck she even foreshadowed it herself in ep 5. "There are more important things than friends" "like taking down the TVA" she told Loki that taking down whoever is behind the TVA comes before everything; it's priority #1 in her book, above friendship or love or trust. Loki proved that his priority now is the greater good of the universe not her revenge, so Sylvie has no use for him anymore (partners only when it's convenient, because she is a Loki and that's how emotionally stunted Lokis behave).

I would like to point out the irony of her being worried about Loki betraying her, only to turn around and betray him. It's in the realm of "people who cheat assuming their partner is cheating" / "not using a turn signal when changing planes to avoid being cut off because when you see someone else use their signal you tend to cut them off", it's assuming other people will behave like you do. Sylvie feared in ep 5 that Loki would betray her in the end because she knew if it came down to it she'd betray him. But the thing is, he's actually grown past that. Loki is finally thinking about how his actions can damage others, not just his own wants and needs. Sylvie saw this moral change in Loki, realized there was no chance of getting him back on the blind revenge boat, and decided to exploit his newfound selflessness and emotional attachment to get him out of her path.

This whole season Loki has been maturing emotionally and growing into the best, most heroic version of himself. Sylvie, on the other hand, still has that deceptive, selfish, can't trust anyone persona that every Loki develops to combat insecurity. She hasn't had the emotional growth needed to see the bigger picture, she's still trapped in her own self centered mindset. As such, she disregards the impact her betrayal will have on Loki, the impact killing HWR will have on the universe. She doesn't even take a beat to consider whether revenge is still the right path cuz she doesn't practice self reflection yet; revenge has always been the goal and she refuses to give herself a chance of changing her mind. I hope in season 2 she'll get some character growth, now that her 1 goal has been accomplished.

Now on to Mobius. I enjoyed his scenes, I wish we'd been shown more of what he did to reveal the truth to the rest of the TVA. Again, I feel like too much time was given to HWR's monologing and not enough was spent on the other characters so Mobius and B-15 got very little screen time to display their plan. I am happy Mobius got the opportunity to throw Ranslayers betrayal back in her face, and his attemp at attacking her...my boy you work a desk job you ain't no fighter, she used to work in the field collecting variants, you had no chance. Also, where the F did she go??? I kept expecting her to show up at the end of time but she didn't. Where did Miss Minutes send her??

I'm sad Mobius doesn't know Loki anymore, but I can't say I'm surprised. I've got a few different thoughts on what the heck is going on with him and the TVA:

Sylvie accidentally sent Loki way back to a time early on in the TVA before HWR created the Time Keepers for anonymity. As such, this is a past Mobius who has yet to meet Loki or even learn of Loki's existence. If this is the case, then I think Loki and Past!Mobius's interaction at the end of ep 6 will be the catalyst for him becoming a Loki expert. The 63 branching timelines Mobius and B-15 are discussing before Loki interrupts are from some currently unknown disaster that'll be a plot line in s2. (This is my least favorite theory, but nevertheless a possibility)

HWR was correct when he said that if Sylvie kills him and destroys the TVA then another variant of him will just start it all up again. This variant didn't care to remain anonymous, hence the big statue of him, but kept all the memory wiped variants working there. Because time is a chaotic bitch, the changeover from one HWR variant to another may have been near seamless at the TVA and just involved a quick memory wipe of anything relating to the Time Keepers, Loki and Sylvie, or knowledge that the TVA are all variants. The 63 branches may be thanks to something Renslayer is doing like killing all the HWR variants in existence in order to negate the need for the TVA. The branching could also be from Sylvie's revenge still, we have no idea how much time has passed between her killing HWR and a new HWR taking over so the branching she caused could still be an issue.

There have actually been multiple TVAs running simultaneously, each in their own multiverse. Each one employs memory wiped variants, each one is in charge of a certain subset of timelines, and all work under the one HWR. Sylvie used HWR's tempad to eject Loki back to the TVA, but she accidentally sent him to the TVA of a different multiverse not realizing that's a Thing. The 63 branching timelines Mobius and B-15 are discussing are indeed from Sylvie killing HWR, but there's only 63 as opposed to the countless we saw diverging from Sylvie's perspective because this TVA only sees branches on timelines within their own multiverse. Mobius doesn't know Loki because he isn't our Mobius and in the multiverse he works in maybe Loki's aren't as much of an issue because none of them ever escaped the TVA like Sylvie did (or none of them have Tom's face so he doesn't recognize him as a Loki). If this is the case, then Loki is gonna have to find his way back to his own multiverse in order to be reunited with his Mobius, and that could end up happening thanks to Renslayer. Miss Minutes gave her a file that I suspect only HWR should have access to. Maybe it was tempad coordinates for other multiverses? It took til the 31st century for the multiverses to be connected despite Tony figuring out time travel in the 21st century because travel between universes is much harder, maybe HWR is still the only one who knows how to do that. (If this theory is correct then all the time travel done during Endgame was through timelines within one multiverse) Also just thought of this but what if the reason there are so many extreme variations of loki that grew to adulthood is because the criteria of "sacred timeline" is different in each multiverse. Classic Loki and maybe President Loki and Kid Loki are from the same universe as MCU Loki, but red haired Loki, Croki, Boastful Loki, etc are all from other universes. Think about it, Classic Loki, 2012 Loki, and MCU Loki all have an exact identical path up until their nexus event (or death in MCU Loki's case). I think other than identifying as female, Sylvie's childhood was identical as well and that her nexus event was coming to terms with her adoption as a child, which erased the catalyst of 2011 Thor's plot and would've changed everything for her future path. Had her adoption remained a secret and she grew up on asgard, I believe her story would mirror MCU Loki's. It mildly hit me weird that there would be such wild variation amongst Lokis, even with him being a shapeshifter, because there's a rigid sacred timeline (that supposedly the MCU movies have all adhered to) and they all felt like too big of a divergence to have been left unchecked so long. If boastful Loki was telling the truth about getting all 6 infinity stones then he should've triggered a nexus event as soon as he got more than the 3 he is "supposed to" interact with, unless in his multiverse the sacred timeline criteria is different. Another theory: the agents employed in each TVA are from multiverses other than the one they're working in. It would make sense, keep them from running into their own past by fully detaching each agent from their home timeline/universe. So the Principal!Renslayer that B-15 found will never in any future become the TVA judge we know. The one we know maybe came from the universe Loki got sent to, and that's how the two of them will end up crossing paths again.

#loki series #loki spoilers #loki #lokius #sylki #sylvie laufeydottir #mobius m mobius #tva loki #time variance authority #loki meta #mcu #marvel

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papers4me · 3 years

Text

Fruits Basket Manga Review (ch 90-91)

Since I discussed the first few pages of ch-90 that contains kyo & tohru in my previous preview, this one will only be kyoko’s story.

Kyoko’s story brilliantly explores the effects of unhealthy domestic environment on children without the use of the zodiac curse as a metaphor for abuse. My first-reaction of kyoko’s story is the following:

I really enjoyed how kyoko’s descend into darkness was explored & how the psychologically-informed writing of her behavior was depicted.

I was troubled by how Katsuya was presented as the magical solution to all her problems. Kyoko was saved by romantic love in a more basic writing than machi. Both girls just needed a guy to listen to them vent abt their family issues once & tada~ they’re in love.

Kyoko’s story made me realize that Arisa is just a more modern & healthier kyoko.. The only difference is that Kureno didn’t save Arisa. She herself changed gradually due to kyoko & tohru’s influence.

1) Kyoko’s descend into Darkness:

Kyokyo told kyo that she was already “out of control delinquent before she got to middle school”, “ fell into the wrong crowd”, “ enjoyed beating innocent ppl”. subtly citing the influence of “delinquent peers” & the innate desire be noticed at home. I’m bad, notice me! love me, listen to me!

There are some elements in her story that faintly reminds me of yuki & strongly reminds me of kyo:

Kyoko’s parents gave her a treatment similar to “ yuki’s parents”: cold, neglect & devoid of love. Her dad, similar to kyo’s dad, felt ashamed & disgraced by her.

Kyoko similarly to kyo was angry, full of self-loath & self-destruction. However, kyo was never violent like she was. I believe kyo’d have turned like her if he didn’t have Kazuma to discipline him with love, care & attention. Hence, we saw kyo carry on a code of “ not beating girls, or ppl who aren’t hurting them, or don’t know martial arts”, like Arisa or the student council guy whop loves yuki.

Kyoko’s mom similarly of kyo’s mom talked abt the dad venting his anger on her after being pissed off with kyoko. So, a hint of domestic violence between husband & wife.

Kyoko described herself as “ made of shattered glass”. Tohru once said both kyo & yuki are very sensitive. yuki blocks the world behind the prince mask & kyo puts on the annoyed attitude to push ppl away from hurting him.

Society thinks that “delinquent/bad ppl” are always happy with what they’ve become. Satisfied with their destructive choices. When in most of the times... they’re as bewildered & confused as the community around them..

I really don’t blame the teachers for being defensive. Teachers aren’t supposed to be “life-coaches” or “saviors of students”. That’s sth the educators with their research gush abt & what society demands & what families wish for. The fixer-teacher!!!! Teachers are ppl teaching a subject, doing a specific job, underpaid & overworked most of the times, also, they come from various backgrounds, beliefs, & sometimes even if they meant good & wanted to “ save” a student, they aren’t equipped with the suitable psychological training. Yeah, there are ppl for that in schools, but so many students with lots of issues. Also, let’s be real, we love kyoko cuz she’s the “epic mother of tohru, we grew on her teachings thro out 3 seasons” but if you meet a loud, delinquent, gangster head, violent chair throwing student who rarely comes anyway, would you wanna deal with them?

2- Katsuya “ the magical savior”:

so, why did teacher katsuya helped a screaming delinquent? cuz he IS interested in kyoko. He said so. He approached her, talked & tried to help cuz he intended to “never let her go since he saw her honesty” ~ romantic? maybe to some.. I find it weird & creepy. him eyeing her & getting interested & approaching her & earning her trust. It is true that he has no intention of hurting her or forcing her & he DID save her in more ways than one. But why is this all wrapped in romance. He DID flirt with her intentionally many times from the moment he saw her until then.

If Im being honest, had he not be her teacher (trainee or not), & had she not be very veeeeery young! I’d be enjoying his flirting so much. He’s so smooth, playful & cool (not looking head over heels in love) which is normally such a fun dynamics. She was so head over heels, tho. Finally found someone who noticed her tiny efforts “ drawing eyebrows”, someone who listened & someone who didn’t forced her to do her “duties”. She tells him (her teacher) that she is ditching classes & he’s okay with that~ not lecturing, not urging. why? cuz He only wants HER. she comes to see him in the lunch break everyday. school? classes? that’s her choice~ not his business~ In a way, Katsuya is intentionally made not morally correct. Why? cuz a good moral adult wouldn’t be in love with a middle schooler & would care for her future as an independent person from him. He must be written with intentional desire to NOT care for morals or right or the likes. Yes, he later helps her to study & graduate but ONLY when that is HER choice & she made it ONLY to catch up with him. To cleanse herself & be “ like the other girls” . Kyoko deemed katsuya “ good person” & herself “ bad person”. That’s why she was motivated to be good to catch up with him since she can NO LONGER see him everyday in lunch break. He fixed that. How? teach her in the weekends & provide better chances to flirt since he’s no longer a teacher & she’s his student. The issue is not teacher-student love... it is adult-kid love!! but hey~ they’re cute (they’re written to be, so they are) so it’s cool ( it isn’t at all..eww).. oh the dilemma that is Takaya-san’s love for weird big age gaps where one is an underage teenager...

Furuba’s has this big theme of “ love doesn’t heal or save”. yuki took tohru’s love & grew up by himself. Kyo’s love for tohru didn’t save tohru, she was scared to be in love & forget her mom. Tohru made the decision to be free from her past, herself. Tohru’s love to kyo made his trauma 10 times more complicated & he acted based on his love for her & decided to leave her. It wasnt until he decided to face his trauma, past & bio dad by himself, that he accepted tohru’s love. Only two characters were totally saved by love:

Machi: has the excuse of being solely created to be yuki’s reward for acknowledging platonic love for tohru & everything abt her is rushed & made as a lighter copy of all yuki’s issues to quickly create shared grounds for them to connect. Machi needed to vent her issues to yuki once & all her issues were never brought back to the service again. She was happier, calmer & healed.

I expected more for kyoko. She IS a bigger character than half of the zodiacs! but she just needed katsuya to listen to her & she was in love & her issues solved.

I don’t deny that it IS true that sometimes all we need is someone to listen to us. Tohru herself said so & even yuki said it to kyo. But Even if someone listen to us & we love them, the issues that troubled us dont magically disappear until we face them or do sth abt them aided by those who love us. Kyo’s issues remained even with his love until he faced them, tohru’s too!

Katsuya:

had off-screen issues with expressing himself. He said that he loved kyoko cuz she was “honest abt her ugly feelings” while he pretended to “humor & please his dad”. He gave a wonderful speech to her parents abt the expectations of parents on their kids & the refusal of their “human weakness” again furuba’s main vision. Unfortunately, this was followed with confessing, marriage proposal & kissing her on the lips all while the whole issue is abt kids/ parents exceptions of middle schooler/ neglect & his own acknowledgement that she’s minor while he was “in love”.

Like the author wants to tie kyoko’s issues & katsuya’s issues so bad & present him as her ONLY chance for normal life. Kyoko was just repenting & understanding that her actions got consequences which is an epic moment! but romance triumphant & saved the day~ yay~! marriage!

The story would’ve been better romantically if it was given time for kyoko to “ grow up” just like katsuya himself said when they were at the beach. He said “ grow up, middle school is not the world”. He continued meeting her but never confessed & never crossed the line despite the flirting. But he KNEW what he was doing “ i never planned to let you go since I saw you”. He was cementing his place as the ONLY one in her world.

Had kyoko grew up, saw the real world, kept taps with katsuya, he helped her broaden her world, then they’ll marry without needing her dad to sign papers, then that would be a better love story than this.

Side Notes:

The writer didn’t shy away from confessing that pairing Katsuya & kyoko is problematic & stated it in canon (kyoko called katsuya “pedo”). She did the same with Arisa & kureno (Arisa thought the age gap is big & hana questioned if kureno is a married man). However, making the story acknowledge that as an issues doesn’t make it less uncomfortable, but at least, I respect when writers do what they plan to do regardless of fans. even if I dont agree with the writer. It’s way better than when writer becoming fans toy/ fans pleaser.

Still, couldn’t the author state that kyoko was held back few years in jmiddle school & failed & repeated school years? like make her i duno 17 or sth... this would at least lessen the big age gap... but no~~~ kyoko is what? 14? ... -_-’.

You bet this won’t change a bit in the upcoming anime spinoff abt kyoko. Just this year an anime abt an adult man & his high school love interest that he pursued stubbornly was highly popular & my real life friends were gushing abt “ him finally winning her/ being respectful & only kissing her lips once or sth/waiting for her to “catch up” with him”/ consent age differ in X & Y countries..I’m not dictating my beliefs on anybody or any country or saying my way of thinking is the just way. I’m saying, Personally, I think, there are better romantic stories than adults & kids couples.. The fact that this trope of (adults & kids romance) is still popular even today is sad~~

I dont mind HUGE age gaps as long as BOTH characters are adults. If any of them makes a crime, they’ll be held responsible by the law. & sometimes the younger adult is the one dominating the relationship. but “kids or teenagers” can’t. They’re easily groomed & manipulated, so it bothers me when a love story between an adult & a kid is portrayed as “equal”. it isn’t.

I’m not judging whoever loves such trope in “ fiction”. it IS fiction, & as long as you don't pursue a real kid/teenager in real life, you can like whatever in fiction. moving on~

kyoko’s delinquent life is well-written & if done right, would send a powerful message of being able to start over. But the romantic love aspect will steal the spotlight by (a) directing uncomfortable hate/disgust towards the story & hence all the discussions will abt the “pedo” aspect. (which is fair). (b) Perceived as so lovable romance since katsuya is the prince who to saved the neglected princess which is a trope that has stood thro time garnering lots of support & attention always, so all the discussion would be abt their “cute romance”. (which is fair since the author weaved elements that endeared their romance, such as: cute nicknames “miss no-eyebrows”, him giving her space, home & respect, saving her from the streets & poverty & having the most endearing tohru”. So, yeah, the romance will be the center of attention regardless.

I like katsuya’s character type in fiction generally: the flirty, mischievous & a bit cool guy who is so aware he’s wrong most times & plays his cards smart to not get caught red-handed. He’s a cooler version of shigure. It’s just the blatant fact that he’s been planning to “get” a middle schooler from the first glance & that she is wayyyy young for this, that is bothering me so so much~~ T_T.

I wont expect the anime to change their age gap cuz it is the essence of their story that she’s a lost kid with no protection against the world & he’s the savior providing everything at once!~ Remember kyoko went on to be the savior of an entire clan tho tohru~ So in a way, katsuya saved the sohmas by saving kyoko....

“ i’m like a stray cat that he looked after instead of chasing away”. kyoko with katsuya is like kyo with kazuma! >_<!. When kyo met tohru, he wasn’t a stray cat, most of how he dealt with her was cuz he already knew her & was tormented by remembering kyoko’s death & feeling guilty towards tohru’s constant pain. That’s why when kyo started falling in love with tohru, he unconsciously stopped pushing her away little by little & just wanted to be with her until akito said “ i’ll hurt her” that’s when he totally gave up.

the way katsiya appeared in the right moment to save kyoko from her dad~ oh the drama. XD

Hospital Discharge & chase. like mom like daughter~ but thank God the kids got a more balanced love story.

Comparing kyoko/katsuya to Arisa/kureno in the broad writing of their romance without diving into details: (a) I hate the age gap in both but at least Arisa is older & nothing happened until she graduates & become an official adult. (b) Kyoko/katsuya are more fleshed out & if you forget the age gap,m their dynamic is so cute & endearing. (c) the love at first glance, never meeting afterwards yet still sickly in love to the extinct of screaming made Arisa/kureno shallower. (d) now that I saw teenage kyoko, Arisa is really just her clone! I hate that this steals from Arisa’s uniqueness. (e) both couples ate ramen in their first meeting/first unofficial date signalling their blooming love.

I’ve said this more than once, but I was the high-schooler that fancied adult independent men growing up, I never pursued anyone tho cuz I understood it was a crush even tho I’m pretty sure my “ *_*” face was clear to one or two, but I’m definitely lucky none of them tried to woo me or influence me. Now that I’m a grown woman, I think back & laugh at my self. I fancied them cuz they were independent & mature compared to the silly high school boys, which is what those men are supposed to be (adults) & what those boys are supposed to be (living their young age). lol. Still, I wish I found someone somehow to be my life’s partner since then, it would’ve made my life less lonely~ T_T.

#Fruits Basket #fruits basket manga #manga reviwes #anime-only #tired paper #my thoughts are so scattered #& unorganized #I apologize for the mess #ch 90 #ch 91

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stormbornbastard · 3 years

Text

The Potential In Philoise

gif credit: @vakariaan

tw/ sexual assault, abuse, depression, suicide, julia quinn’s writing

AN: Okay, so I said awhile ago I would explain why Phillip and Eloise are my favorite couple in the series so get ready...it’s a bit of a long one.

I read four Bridgerton books immediately after the show ended. Skipping over The Duke and I because I wasn’t comfortable with the assault scene between Simon and Daphne and also because I had already seen the romance play out onscreen. I fell in love with each romance I encountered, mainly because I didn’t read them as they were but as the show would make them out to be. I romanticized a romance series as weird as that sounds. Yet, none of the romances struck me the way To Sir Phillip, With Love did.

It’s not a perfect book. In fact, it's incredibly problematic. Phillip rapes his depressed wife, Marina (although given Julia’s history with crossing the lines of consent I doubt this is the way she wanted us to interpret the scene. Actually, the way it was written made it seem like we were meant to sympathize with Phillip and his loveless marriage. Hence the way he immediately grows ill afterward.) Marina attempts suicide and dies due to disease later on. Given her storyline in the show and the fact that a young biracial woman is playing her was disheartening, to say the least.

(AN: I don’t consider the character to be Black representation, she’s biracial. As a black woman who enjoyed her character and arc, no part of me felt seen and represented through her because she was half black. She's Biracial rep, not Black rep and that’s okay. Just putting that out there. )

Phillip seeks a woman to take care of his children, fuck and do the shit he doesn’t want to do. His mental illness is handled in such a shitty way. The independent nature Eloise once has is almost stifled by Phillip and what he wants for some reason. He’s neglectful, erratic and he does dismiss potential negative feelings Eloise could have in their relationship because of his past relationship.

It's fucked up. The entire book.

And yet, imagining how this problematic romance would play out on screen once properly adapted for modern audiences makes me fucking giddy. All because of one, simple thing that remains the reason I am so fucking excited to see this pairing onscreen.

The unrealized potential the pairing and Phillip as a character have in the novel.

Let me explain.

Their romance is unique. Phillip and Eloise are not strangers when they meet. They’ve been writing to each other for months, picking each other’s brains every week or so. Getting to know each other in a way that other couples in the series don’t at first. Intellectually. They’re able to keep such a steady, enthralling dialogue through letters, and it's a friendship that they both enjoy. Phillip stimulates Eloise’s mind, something the show has emphasized her wanting, for months. He’s her intellectual equal, or at least...he has the potential to be. Of course, he slaves over the letters (which is cute as fuck because he really just wants her to like him) but it's still his words. It’s his voice. It is Phillip, at his best.

I hope the show can play this up. Phillip is a botanist and a scholar before he inherits his family’s estate. Eloise has a desire to learn and further her knowledge of the world around her. Bonding over their shared love of education, fun banter based around teasing the other and their individual studies, taking an interest in what the other desires to learn. Reading books together in the greenhouse, etc. The show could easily play up the fact that Phillip was not only a gardener but a literal man of science, something Julia neglects in their book despite it having the possibility of playing a major factor in their love story.

The possibilities of it just...makes me swoon.

Moving on, Eloise choosing to pursue a possible future with this man is a big fucking deal. Running away from home to go after a future for herself IS her displaying her OWN agency. Sure, Phillip poses the question of it but she’s the one who chooses it. Phillip doesn’t demand her to come to him, he simply suggests it and she’s the one who acts. The one who pursues. And if they hadn’t been bombarded by her brothers, it would’ve remained her choice of whether or she wanted to be a part of this man’s life permanently.

Phillip wouldn’t have forced her, he could’ve easily tried to. By going to the Bridgerton house and discussing with Anthony the possibility of marrying her but no, he asks her. HE ASKS HER AND SHE CHOOSES. I fucking love that. It's like the bare minimum but given the time period and the number of couples where the man has the final say on the marriage, this just makes me giddy. The show could change this and give Eloise more time with Phillip to the point where she chooses him and isn’t forced into the marriage which I hope they do.

Also, their first meeting where neither one of them is what the other expects sounds amazing ngl. The initial confusion, shock, unease, and undeniable attraction, it's gonna serve why lie?

Despite how much it affects him, the subject of Phillip’s abuse is handled so...wrong. As someone who shares an experience with abusive parents, I understand the fear of becoming like them. Of hurting the ones you love and being angry and feeling guilty. Yet, Phillip never confronts these fears. Not really. Sure, we get the scene in the nursery but thinking of how the show could handle it and his relationship with his children makes me excited. Having him being neglectful of his children was the wrong move, especially if his fear is hurting them in an attempt to discipline them. It's clear he loves them and ultimately wants the best for them which is why he’s searching for someone to better take care of them despite the shitty bitch he already has hired. I hope the show capitalizes on that.

Have Phillip be involved but not a disciplinary figure. Yeah, I get that he’s the man or whatever but it's clear that Phillip finds no enjoyment in the act or even pondering it. But he does love his kids. Have him be overwhelmed but still involved. It just felt weird that Phillip didn’t want anything to do with his kids despite one of his main reasons to look for a wife was so that they could be properly taken care of. Have him try but struggle. A lot.

It’d be funny to see Oliver and Amanda running the house and Phillip struggling to keep up. They’re supposed to be mischievous, they should play that up in the show. Having the kids be little gremlins but instead of him ignoring them completely, he could just give in to their whims. And when his anger does get the best of him, then he could run. Be distant, wrestle with his internal struggle with abuse but also knowing he can’t let his kids run his household like this and go about as reckless as they do.

Speaking of abuse, I hope they scrap the nursery lady altogether. I know it’s supposed to show him stepping into dad mode but it just felt like unnecessary and triggering of his own child abuse. He could easily step into this role by learning to deal with his anger, learning to control it. Eloise could suggest journaling the way she does (another bonding moment that could be less cute and more intimate if done right.) Having him put his anger into gardening, I interpreted it as it being a safe place and coping mechanism for him in the book and that would be nice to see.

Having to finally put an end to his kids' tirade once he learns to trust himself and realize that he’s nothing like his father. Actual healing from childhood trauma and Eloise helping him do so. She could also suggest boxing with her brothers like...it just makes sense. As someone with a temper, boxing helped me sort through that and the opportunity to see Phillip and Simon bonding, while boxing, over their shitty dads, sounds pretty fucking cathartic (and hot).

I would just like the show to truly show that just because you’ve dealt with abuse doesn’t mean you have to be defined and like your abuser. Phillip is a pretty great candidate for it because the guy is...scarred, to say the least.

I love the physical side of Phillip and Eloise’s relationship. Like really love, it's said that they try different things and are comfortable in that regard with each other and it just...yeah, that makes me happy. Besides that, I hope they play up the intellectual side of their relationship. Two nerds in love are adorable and imagining Phillip ranting about plants and Eloise just being completely enthralled at this man and his passion sounds like the cutest fucking shit.

Speaking of intellectual, it's implied Phillip cares little about high society. Meaning, wouldn’t he care even less about societal expectations and norms? Meaning Eloise would literally find freedom with this man to just...do her. Despite the book showing how Phillip wants a wife, it never really says that he cares exactly how that wife maintains herself or their household. Eloise wants to fuck around and wear trousers? He doesn’t care. Eloise wants a private tutor and a study for herself? Cool. Eloise wants to take Amanda riding in the forest and then teach her how to shoot? All good. The man was literally proud to watch her beat her brothers in a traditionally masculine sport. He wants his wife to run his house and his entire life how she sees fit.

Julia really neglected how much agency and power that could give Eloise. She could be his equal, like really be his equal. Of course, Phillip becoming more involved in his and his children’s lives is a part of his arc but nothing leads me to believe he would want to control Eloise. The two of them being more than just lovers, but partners who allow the other their freedoms when needed sounds epic as shit.

Now some things that could easily be left out, the rape scene. It’s there to showcase that Phillip has lost his wife and there is no chance of reigniting whatever they may have had in the past. Yet, there are so many other ways to show that. Phillip could try and speak with her with no response. Hold her hand and she pulls away? He’s a smart man, it doesn’t take much to get the hint so that could’ve easily been written out and replaced with something else.

Second of all, I like the possibility of Marina and Phillip finding happiness at first. Of them trying to love each other after George and succeeding. The way Marina is written in the show, I doubt she’s quick to give up. So to see the two of them having an agreeable marriage and getting along would be nice. They could showcase her mental illness in a different form, it's clear she suffers from postpartum depression. She withdraws into herself, distances herself from her children. She’s depressed but it's not as stereotypical and easily spotted as Julia makes it out to be. Marina just gives up on her children and life without any fight? Absolutely not.

As someone who suffers from depression, the way Julia wrote it is so...??? The truth is, I would like Phillip and their family to not even realize she’s suicidal. To not see it coming when she jumps in the lake and attempts to end her own life because that's exactly how suicide impacts so many people and their loved ones. They don’t see it coming. Phillip struggling with the guilt of that rather than the anger of being trapped in a loveless marriage sounds...a lot more interesting to me. Me, personally. Considering how much buzz the show has, it would spark up a dialogue and a good one if handled properly. I’ve thought a lot about Marina but this is just how I would prefer to see it handled if they go through with her canon death (which I am not actively rooting for by the way.)

Another reason I like the potential of Philloise is Oliver and Amanda, they just add some extra spice. If fully realized characters, watching them grow closer to their dad and form a relationship with Eloise would be so rewarding for two kids who have lost a lot. Also, the amount of comedic gold in their pranks with Eloise and dynamic with each other would give the season even more humor on top of Eloise herself.

And as much as I love the line, “this-us-is heaven.” They could easily modify the love speech. Like very easily.

My point is, I think their potential outweighs the problematic factors in their story and I doubt the show will fail on realizing it and ridding itself of the problematic aspects. One could even say they already started, I mean look at the way the show made a point to show Eloise’s disgust with fathers and husbands who abandon their family, and then comes Phillip, doing the absolute most to protect his remaining family. I mean, Bridgerton did turn the weakest romance in the series into a whole pop culture phenomenon. My hopes are high. Okay, that’s all.

#this is long as hell #my bad #eloise x phillip #phillip crane #eloise bridgerton #philoise #philloise #my babies #i love them #i cant wait for their season #to sir phillip with love

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