#school tw
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Too tired/low spoons to put an image ID but. I hate this specific kind of ableism I’ve had handed to me again and again (Edit: added and slightly edited an ID from the notes!)
[ID: A comic. Panel 1 dialogue, from a person holding up a piece of paper: "I'm here to get help with problem X, what should I do?"
Panel 2 dialogue, from a cheery second person, assumedly a tutor or other teaching figure: "Well, what do you think you should do?"
Panel 3: Person 1 stares at person 2 silentely, but their thoughts are written behind them in faint all caps: "Why the fuck would I be asking you for help if I hadn't already tried doing what I thought I should do, and even tried what I thought I shouldn't do!" the rest of the thought is covered by the people but continues to the bottom of the panel.
Panel 4: Sound effect "BAM!" Person 1 cartoonishly flattens Person 2 with a folding chair. /End ID]
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gen z culture is perpetually switching between "i am the smartest person in the world and i deserve a nobel prize for intelligence" to "i have the iq of an iguana how did i pass fourth grade" in school
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i hate the idea/trope that poor kids who do well in school don’t need any support when it comes to college, or that they all get full-ride scholarships. i don’t do well in school now that i’m in uni but i was a straight-A student throughout all of middle & high school and i got 1 (one) scholarship for $500/semester, which is less than 5% of my tuition. i didn’t have the opportunities or knowledge a lot of the other wealthier kids had, whose parents and grandparents and siblings had gone to college too. like we don’t all end up getting exactly the help we need, and i know the poor kids who weren’t straight-A students had an even harder time getting into college, if they did at all. it’s rough out here for all of us. the only sure-fire way a kid could get guaranteed financial assistance was if they had knowledge of the system and the time and money to pursue them. it sucks
#i can acknowledge the privilege i had to even do well in school in the first place#i didn’t have a learning disability that majorly influenced me in the classroom#i mean i do now but my autism had the routine and schedule i needed to keep me going#but even with that getting into college was hard asf!#im still considering dropping out!#again it sucks#classism#ableism#school tw#education system#text post
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I'm pissed. It's supposed to be one of the happiest moments of my life, but I'm going to fucking HATE graduation. Fuck the system, and fuck school.
So placing an order for cap n' gowns a while back, my bestfriend and I looked at the forms. The gowns are gendered. Our school colors, brown (boys) and yellow (girls). I'm AFAB and put an M marking, she's AMAB and did an F marking. We asked our principal if it was okay for us to put what we prefer on there, and she said it was.
She said it was okay.
We got our cap and gown today.
They were the wrong colors.
She lied.
All of them lied to us.
It's one thing to be the wrong color, but when you fucking lie and change it without our consent or knowing? I will never forgive them.
If it was for 'legal reasons' I'd understand, but why would you lie about that? Why did you even give us an option in the first place?
It's one thing that I'm going to get deadnamed when I get called up for my diploma, but this? No. My friend and I are going to switch gowns. We're rebelling. This is NOT fucking okay. I don't care what they say, I am not wearing fucking yellow. And she's not wearing brown. I won't let it happen. I hate my fucking school for this.
My parents even consented, and they still changed it on us.
I am pissed the fuck off.
#vent#rant#trans problems#trans#transgender#dysphoria#gender dysphoria#This is not fucking okay.#school tw#trans rights#trans rights are human rights WHY WON'T THEY RESPECT THAT#JUST FUCKING RESPECT THAT#trans rage
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Not dysphoric culture, sorry, but does mod have any tips on socially transitioning, especially in school? I’m not even out yet, but I like to make plans for what I’m gonna do to make me feel less stuck in the closet, but I’ve only ever really thought about medical transition and don’t really know how to go about socially transitioning. (Afab, nonbinary, want to be perceived as neutral/masculine, if that’s any help)
Don’t apologize anon, mod is here to (try) to give advice!
Mod actually came out at school a couple of years ago (a conservative middle/high school where mod was one of the first publicly out not binary people) so. Here is some stuff.
Support:
Find a good friend group, and ideally also a decent guidance counselor who will not out you before you’re ready
Some fake friends will continue to misgender and deadname you. If this continues for months on end and you keep reminding them, they may not be a real friend
Meet other queer and trans people in your school! Join a GSA/acceptance club if there’s one! Find a trans person in your school that’s older than you and ask them for advice!!
Older trans people in your school can sometimes help you buy gender-affirming products (ex: if they can have it shipped to their house and can use their card, and then you pay them back in cash, for safety reasons etc) or queer merch.
If you want your name and gender marker to be changed in the school’s system you often have to go through the guidance department. Depending on where you live you do not need parental consent for this and do not let the guidance department bully you into it. You shouldn't need a court order either
Google classroom/digitization of education has made life harder for trans students because you will see the wrong name and pronouns listed everywhere. Schools with ID cards have this problem but worse because even if you cover up the name with a sticker, whenever your ID is scanned it will out you. Some places even require students to scan IDs to use the bathroom- a double nightmare for trans students.
Student pictures are cringe. Try to dress as gender-affirming as possible for picture day and remember that you’re likely only being photographed from the shoulders up (chest dysphoria = not your biggest problem)
Not all school systems have a nonbinary marker. Mod’s school pretended not to have one and it took some digging and anxious waiting to get one (mod has since gotten it, is one of the first students in the school’s history to have one, and is spreading resources to other trans and nonbinary students in the school community). For you anon if you can’t get an X/O/N/etc marker you can get a M, which may not be completely accurate but it might make you less dysphoric as compared to a F
Yearbooks might have pre-transition photos of you or even elementary school photos of you so try to speak to someone on the yearbook committee/club about it. Senior year in general can be a nightmare if you’re trans/nb because so many pictures are taken of you and a lot of old photos/letters are dug up
The uncomfortable stuff:
You need to use the bathroom especially if you do after-school activities. This is non-negotiable and far too many trans people (especially transmascs + nonbinary people who were AFAB) get UTIs by avoiding the bathroom all day. Using a public bathroom may be dysphoria inducing but having to see a urologist/gynecologist is much worse. But it’s true that school bathrooms suck! Find one that is the least suck-y (clean, not used very often, ideally gender-neutral) and try to use that one. Not all schools have a gender neutral bathroom, and the ones that do may only have one dirty, single-person bathroom for the entire school (like mod’s). For your case specifically anon if you feel you pass well enough/don’t pass but have enough support at school you can try to use the men’s room. The thing about using the men’s restroom is you have to walk in with confidence (fake confidence is okay too!) and act unbothered.
Mod has never heard of a gender-neutral school locker room, at least below the college level, ever. The good thing is that a lot of students no longer have to change for gym, or that some schools will give nonbinary students the option of changing in the gender neutral bathroom instead. (At mod’s school, their ‘nonbinary inclusive’ policy [which likely did not exist until mod asked about it] is that nonbinary students can choose which gendered locker room they’d like to use! How very inclusive and totally not avoiding the problem! [sarcasm]) You can ask a gym teacher to keep your bag in their office or leave your bag in the gym to avoid the locker rooms.
Your peers:
They might be transphobic, they might be supportive, or they might just not care. Either way they will probably misgender you purely because they knew you pre-transition. Mod has people in school that mod went to elementary school with and many of them are literally the worst. It's a horrible feeling to know that some people will always see you as [deadname and what your AGAB was] even if you 'pass' or correct people. But unless you transfer to another school there is nothing you can do about that.
Just find people who support you, ideally fellow trans people, and ignore those guys.
Transitioning:
You've probably seen a bunch of tips for gender presentation and might have done some already. For masculine/masc-leaning neutral some are: men's clothing, shorter hair, makeup to contour, binding/packing, layered clothing, etc. Some behavioral changes are voice training (do not rely only on T to change your voice if that's your plan!), taking on more masculine speech patterns, walking more confidently, exercising (target certain areas to create a more masculine shape), etc.
The actual coming out part:
Coming out is scary. Friends can encourage you, but you also have to come out to them first.
Most teachers mod has talked to about being queer have been at least polite/tolerant about it. There hasn’t been any outright hostility, but there has been more subtle transphobia. And mod uses neopronouns in a conservative place! The only major issue was when mod sent a teacher an email about mod’s pronouns + nb inclusive curriculum and he sent the email to the principal without asking (wild stuff. He agreed to use they/them for mod, but also denied taking responsibility for his curriculum excluding queer people).
If you want to come out at school but not at home, you can email/talk to your teachers in person and tell them to call you ___ in school and your deadname/wrong pronouns in front of your parents. Some counselors will email your teachers for you if you’re scared of your parents reading your emails/searching your device
You can write your chosen name almost wherever you want! You do not need it changed it the system to use it and especially if you’re writing on paper you can use it.
You are your biggest advocate! You need to get really good at standing up for yourself. Catering to or being nice to transphobes will usually not help you. You will probably need to push people: 'my pronouns are ____' not 'I prefer ____', 'what is the policy on nonbinary students, and if one doesn't exist how are we going to make one' not 'is there a nonbinary policy', 'I will wear the _____ uniform' not 'is it ok for trans people to wear the _____ uniform', 'call me ____' not 'um I have a preferred name and it's ____ is that okay', 'how will you make room for me' not 'can you make room for me' etc. It is not rude to be assertive! Transphobes will call you rude for simply existing in a way they don't like. Make sure to be clear about what you need and don't give them room to evade your requests. Nonbinary students who will come to your school several years from now will thank you.
It’s good that you’re planning ahead for coming out anon because that can make it less overwhelming, but overthinking can also really get you. If planning your coming out (which may or may not happen soon) starts to only stress you out and not give you any joy then you maybe need to take a break.
There's a lot more stuff but this is just a general overview so if you have more specific questions please send in another ask! Good luck anon!
#not dysphoric culture#ask#mod answers#gender dysphoria#dysphoria#dysphoria tw#long post#social transition#coming out#social dysphoria#transitioning#transmasc#nonbinary#afab nonbinary#school tw#transphobia tw#misgendering tw#trans students#trans man#lgbtia#trans#nb
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with AP scores coming out Wednesday ive discovered that academics are very detrimental to my mental health
#in other words if i dont get all 5s (which is frankly unrealistic and not something i even need) i will quit school and go live in the woods#summer rambles#school tw
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Anyway, reasoning for why this blog is going to be slower for the time being
[ID: an emoji of a very tired figure slumped at a table with a pen in hand and a red mug to the side, trying to write on a few sheets of paper. Above them hovers the word “college…”. /End ID]
#person emojis#school tw#Anyway yes I am now in college and still figuring out the ropes to everything which is taking a lot of energy out of me#and as a spoonie myself y’all know I don’t have a ton in the first place
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POV: Your professor says you're not allowed to use the ebook version of your textbook
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dropped the class surely this wont come back to haunt me
#vent#school tw#fuck my instructor for trying to pressure me into taking FOUR classes. i cant even handle algebra
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Just realized I love We’re Gonna Be Friends because it completely encompasses everything I wish my school life as a child had been.
Being genuinely excited to go to school and learn. Meeting up with friends on the way and playing as we walked to the building. Consistently having people to play with during class and recess, being happy to learn.
“safely walk to school without a sound”? Not even remotely close to my reality but god I wish it was. How I’d love to skip down to a pretty school with friends at my side, knowing I’m completely safe, and feeling no fear or stress as we walk.
Being so engrossed in the fun and love for learning that the time passes so quickly. It’s engaging and interesting and never loses its shine. Teachers that engage with their students and treat them as they deserve to be treated. Friends that are eager to play with me not just in spite of my quirks, but because of them.
Going home and being excited to return to school the next day? Thinking fondly on the things we learned and wanting to know more? Wanting to see my friends again? No worries or stress or anger or exhaustion or anything? Just… childlike love and joy and peace???
That’s what I wish my childhood and my school life had been. But instead it was hell and continues to break me and haunt me to this day. I feel like crying right now as I type this just imagining what could have been.
#Vent#venting#fuck school#school tw#childhood trauma#school trauma#Actuallytraumatized#actuallydepressed#actually anxiety#actuallyocd#we’re gonna be friends#the white stripes#Childhood#former gifted kid#actuallyautistic
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When I remember the way I acted in school it just gets me so mad at my teachers. Every. Fucking. Action. Was a cry for help.
I’d spit on male teachers and cry in the corners and get into fights constantly and use craft scissors to bleed all over the desk. I was so angry and lost and I wore short sleeves and everyone could see the evidence. And it was my teachers job to save me. The principals job to save me. They betrayed me. I was in danger.
I bit my nails so badly I’d bleed on my homework! I nearly kicked a sink off the wall in the girls bathroom. Everything set me off. I was cruel and violent and fucking abused. Jesus.
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remember when giyuu was the physical education teacher and the guidance counselor in the school universe and his lunch was two rice balls and a loaf of bread.
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gen z culture is being so burnt out from exams you cant do basic math
example:
i went to the canteen to buy a snack for 8 turkish liras (roughly 50 cents in usd). i gave her a ten bill, expecting 3 liras back. 10-8=2. i expected 3 fucking liras. why tf did i expect 3 liras.
the math thing is real but y’all got snacks for 50 cents? sign me up
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Feeling a sudden, ridiculous wave of grief riding by the local primary school in the bus. I know that schools were not safe places for most people. Somehow I still long to be a child in one.
#my parents filled my head with vitriol about how evil public school was#and then gave me the 'choice'#ofc I chose to stay home! I just wanted to make them happy!#it's not fair it's not fair it's not fair#school tw#my words matter
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maybe it's just my heaps of "young disabled girl who was never given the proper care i needed by my schools as a child" trauma speaking but i actually think it should be illegal to force all children to go to school and i mean that with all seriousness
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Hey to the anon who sent in the ask about coming out at school, mod is working on it! It’s a very long response but will hopefully be out next week.
Ideally you should come out to your teachers/peers on the first day of school or earlier (ex: email your teachers your name/pronouns before school starts, or physically talk to them the first day) if you want a fresh start to your year so hopefully mod isn’t too late.
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