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sadpeopledancing · 4 months

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in the new year, i solemnly swear that i'll always be fashionably late <3 but here are my top 9 albums of 2023!

i looked back on my top albums throughout the years and realised that some of my choices haven't stood the test of time. i trust my past self and she's still very valid, but i haven't listened to some of my top albums in years. so for this year, i decided to choose albums not by how good i think they were, but by how much i kept coming back to them (not mutually exclusive tho!) through all the ups and downs (& headassery) of 2023.

other albums that nearly made the top 9 (or i really loved these albums but a couple of songs are skips):

scarlet by doja cat

arrived anxious, left bored by flume

but here we are by foo fighters ('show me how' is simply INSANE and one of the best songs anyone's ever created)

did you know that there's a tunnel under ocean blvd by lana del rey

made in u by loboda

guts by olivia rodrigo (i think 'vampire' might have been the best song of 2023 (and just in general i was surprised to love this record so much))

albums i listened to a lot at some point (& then kind of forgot but i still think they're really fucking good):

red moon in venus by kali uchis

ben by macklemore

endless summer vacation by miley cyrus

& albums that just brought joy:

all of this will end by indigo de souza

falling or flying by jorja smith

dead club city by nothing but thieves

everything is alive by slowdive

i’d also like to continue w the category for ‘the album that somehow escaped you in the past but has truly grown on you this year’ and give it up for magdalene by fka twigs. it's an album that truly healed my soul <3

once again happy new year! you're all great and i love you and i wish everyone peace and a couple of billion dollars each 💞💞💞💞💞

#i didnt have time to check out kesha's and carly's albums but i think i'll love them and will prob mention them in this year's post #slowthai wouldve been in my top 9 but for obv reasons it won't be. even tho ugly did pull me thru 2023 and is/was a v special record to me #and i love ian to the moon but him choosing 'blanket' as the hill to die on was a choice. not a good one but a choice nonetheless #also tagging everyone who sees this so you're now officially required to share your top 9s sorry i dont make the rules #personal #(also yes it's once again taken me a year to finish this post and i'm once again late what can i say i'm v talented)

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myjunkisyuzuruhanyu · 2 years

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ISU rule change on PCS

Let's call this an extensive personal comment...

I am too lazy to list exactly what has changed, but as you might have seen the PCS components being 5 before are reduced to 3. Namely IN (interpretation) and TR (transitions) are now gone.

This is what is left now:

I think changing something in PCS is right, because the PCS are a huge joke how they are scored and used. I just think that again the descriptions are too vague and leave so much room for interpretation that in the end the rules won't be followed. But were they ever followed anyway?

And because rules weren't followed with 5 categories anyway I am not optimistic they will follow 3 categories, but I am also not as upset about it as some others, because if rules aren't followed why being upset they have changed? 🙃 Imo they could just put the skaters in real categories because no matter what some do, how I see it a skater is always judged within their corridor based on reputation, federation politics and passport. Some get high PCS for granted, some can work their ass off hard and still not receive any reward. So will it matter if there are 3 or 5? I don't think it will.

In theory it should have been possible to give skaters with mediocre skating skills a 10 in performance, but it never happened to have for example a 5 and a 10 in individual categories. So as long as you will get a 9 in all categories if you get a 9 in one category, what harm is done by reducing them to 3? That PCS are even less understandable valued? I don't think that's possible. It wasn't understandable before. I mean now at least they don't have to pretend to understand what transitions are used when it's muzzled together, so eventually it becomes easier to accept when some things aren't specified anymore 🙃

Some say now they cannot hold judges accountable for not following the rules within those PCS categories that were somewhat objectively countable like how many transitions, 1 foot skating etc. And it's true that now that these kind of "technical" stuff is now all muzzled into skating skills and not exclusively named it can become less of a thing for skaters to include into their programs, but let's be real on this: Skaters like some Russians (I don't do names today) did do many many transitions, but where they good or did most of them make sense for their programs? A spiral held for 1 second surely fits the criteria, but does it fit the program? Nah...and holding judges accountable? I can only laugh...as if judges ever were held accountable for not doing the PCS correctly. It's a dream, not a reality. Telling on SNS that judge A, B, C etc didn't do their job properly is hardly holding someone accountable. The effect is 0 I fear.

I think in the end it does not matter if there are 3 or 5 categories. As long as judges do however they like and give superb PCS to skaters not because of their skills but because of politics and/or high TES and reputation. A rule change is the least of the problems.

As long as judges are not better trained and really held accountable for their judging - not by fans, but by the ISU - any rule change will only be a new way for judges with an old habit attached.

I hope the new rule change at least make some judges read again what is actually in the rules. For the rest...well judging is what it is and it was never meant to be fair no matter what the rules say. Sad but true.

Last shout-out to the ppl claiming #figureskatingisdead...figure skating is never dead as long as ppl watch it. And rule changes within a sport are normal. And lastly just because a sport is not the way you want it, it doesn't make it dead. Surely there will he be fans who leave this sport, but there will be others who will start watching now and will find the old ways bad or less enjoyable. (Look I find most of the 80s and 90s comps quite boring and the rules there not slightly understandable, but it wasn't the time I started watching. I know ppl who would prefer the way 80s and 90s skating was. I don't. Same will happen now.)

#figure skating #maybe i am just not as mad bc i have long accepted that pcs are crap and only corridors anyway #It's decided beforehand if a skater will get 8s or 9s - the differences are within 1-2 points usually from comp to comp #You could actually give skaters PCS numbers beforehand and just add a point for a good day and deduct a point for a bad day...#Joking in the tags...or maybe not 🙃#isu congress #rule change #pcs

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lesbiansandgayssupporttheminers · 1 year

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I want to write something long form about the teacher strikes and the state of education in England right now.

You’ll hear a lot of teachers in the coming days and weeks say they don’t want to strike, or they feel guilt about striking. I’ve thought about it, and I want to strike, and I don’t feel guilty, and I think I owe it to students to strike. Maybe not the ones I teach now, but the ones I might teach in five years time.

I owe it to some of the Y7s, 8s and 9s I taught last year who were deeply passionate about science. In particular, I’m think of the Y7s who loved our space topic, and may never get taught by a qualified physics teacher. I’m also thinking about the sort of country they’ll grow up in, the opportunities they’ll have and the future they deserve.

I can write some arguments within the liberal, capitalist context we live in, for improving education, and specifically why pay and working conditions need to be improved for teachers and why striking is our only option. I know that’s not what a lot of you follow me for, but they may be persuasive if you know teachers or want to talk to people about why they should support the teacher strikes.

1) There is a national shortage of teachers. This is a fact- we know a large number of teachers do not stay in the profession long term- 1/3 of teachers who trained in the last 10 years are no longer teaching. Other research suggests many of these teachers quit in the first 5 years of teaching. This year, we have struggled to recruit across secondary subjects. In subjects like maths, science, MFL, geography and more, the situation is especially dire- but this crisis is even starting to impact primary schools now. First and foremost, students are going without qualified, subject specialist teachers. In other professions, the Tories acknowledge high pay is needed to recruit suitable staff. Why not teaching- which after all requires a specialist degree and often a post graduate qualification too.

2) This doesn’t just hurt individual students, it hurts the whole country, because it leaves us with a lack of people who are capable of becoming doctors, dentists, engineers, entering other health care professions, working in the STEM fields that are meant to drive our economy. Investing in education grows the economy long term, and is better for society as a whole.

3) But it does also hurt the social mobility of individual students. Richer families can pay tutors, or go private to make up for deficiencies in teaching. But those from low income families can’t. Few parents have the time or ability to bridge the gap themselves.

4) Furthermore, if we think about really vulnerable students- who, make no mistake will be used as a weapon against teachers during the strike- they benefit from well funded schools. They benefit from having consistent adults in their lives. They often take a long time to form relationships with staff. A revolving door of supply teachers (which is the reality in many secondary schools) really hurts them.

5) Teachers struggle to negotiate pay for themselves. Many schools will baulk at the idea of a teacher negotiating on their own pay, and take deep offense, as if the idea of negotiating pay in a capitalist society when you have an unusual skill is totally unreasonable. So, teachers can only negotiate pay on a national scale. And because the government won’t sit down and negotiate, the only thing we can do is take industrial action.

6) Ultimately, schools can’t afford to pay teachers well- so any pay rise needs to be fully funded. Again, hence strike action.

We can say that the teacher shortage is about working conditions too- and it is, for sure. But it’s also true that the teacher shortage appears to be most acute where a teacher’s pay won’t stretch as far because accommodation costs and other costs are high.

I want to take a moment at this point to address the idea of “work to rule”- which doesn’t actually exist in English law, btw.

Action short of a strike in teaching would likely take the form of teachers not running clubs and trips, maybe refusing to do marking as well. These are all things that would negatively impact students, but have a totally negligible economic impact, if at all. It would, inevitably, drag on for months, because the government simply would not notice.

A teacher strike, ideally one that shuts a large number of schools, will have a noticeable impact on the economy, because some parents won’t be able to work or travel. Yes, it’s rubbish for parents, but the impact on students will genuinely be lower than weeks or months of action short of a strike. And it’s the only language the government will listen to, unfortunately.

I want to talk also about what the Tories are doing to education. I alluded to this earlier, but I think it bears exploring specifically.

The Tories are destroying education. At this stage, I think it’s gone beyond neglect, into a deliberate policy to damage state education. They can’t say that out loud, of course, but why else, at a time of massive teacher shortages, would they cut teacher training places from 2024? Why else would they implement the ECT program in such a way it’s driving early career teachers out of teaching? Why else would they starve schools of funding to such an extent?

Why would the Tories do this?

I’ve got two possible theories for you.

One, they want a poor, uneducated underclass, with limited job prospects, in order to exploit them. And educating the working classes and providing them with opportunities for social mobility runs against that.

Two, some tories take a more eugenicist outlook, they think education is simply wasted on said “underclass”. That no amount of good education would improve the prospects of certain groups, so why bother?

Perhaps it’s a little of column a, a little of column b. Certainly, there are strong objections to teachers in state schools sharing opinions that might be contradictory to the governments’.

So I strongly believe this strike is to preserve the future of education.

Obviously, if we consider the wider state of the country, there are lot of important reasons to join a wider worker’s movement. And I’m going to come back to that point about working conditions, because part of that is the shortage of funding in other public sector areas, meaning schools are asked to do more and more with less and less.

It’s increasingly clear Rishi Sunak’s Tories are both fascists and disaster capitalists, who are going to take what they can from this country before their party implodes. And you all know what I think of the political alternatives. It’s also true if we wait two years for an election, people will die- not least in A and E waiting rooms, or waiting for an ambulance.

The Tories are happy to let £42 Billion in tax go unpaid (largely by the rich and mega-corporations), and then they turn around and say there’s no money.

I genuinely think this wave of strikes could be the start of something- of meaningful political change that carries this country to the left. Maybe the some of the current union leaders will not push things far enough, but we are the union, so we must push further. And we can use this opportunity to really influence the UK political landscape, and build solidarity for a mass worker’s union.

#uk politics #education #strikes #trade unions #leftism #teachers #teacher strikes #neu

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ftmcutiepie · 1 year

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Pinned Post

Edges Until My Next Orgasm: 13.578

Original Total: 13.506 | Orgasms since I started edging: 11 | Edges Added: 112

Edges Completed: 1.974

Edges To Be Completed With My Tongue Out: 1/4

Why?

What Now?

Update:

I said I'll keep doing the leftover pushes, but doing something for x amount of seconds is requiring a certain amount of concentration and idk calm? I recently haven't quite been in the headspace for. So I'll put all relevant links into this pinned post so I can easily come back to it if/when I want but it's easier for me to just focus on doing the edges right now.

New Rules:

If I let a real man cum in my cunt I get to knock off 25 edges

Every time I show someone my tits I get to take off 5 edges

Every time I show someone my cunt I get to knock off 10 edges

Every time I send someone a pic pinching/pulling my nipples I get to take off 15 edges

Every time I send someone a pic fingering my pussy I get to knock off 20 edges

Every orgasm I have before I completed all my edges adds 5 edges +1 per additional orgasm to my total of edges. (E.g., I orgasm, it’s already happened 10x, 5+10 = 15 edges added to the total.)

Edging-Unrelated (Preliminary) Rules Post:

If you have more ideas for new rules like that, feel free to send me an ask!

Submissions are open! Send me stuff to edge to! Nothing illegal/no scat!

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2broschlininahotub · 4 months

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Meet the Ancient warriors.

You will be meeting heroes of old, legends of the past from a battle long ago.

The "Ancient Warriors" are based on the book "Romance of the Three Kingdoms" and the era ascosciated with said book. Each of the three Kingdoms are represented by an element. Eastern Wu is represented by water and has a theme of white feathers. Shu Han is represented by wind and has a theme of fur. Cao Wei is ascosciated with fire and has a theme of flaming feathers. Independent is represented by dark and has no theme. All of them have an animal associated with their designs or armor.

Meet the group of Eastern wu

Sun Mou who is based on Sun Quan and the animal tied to him is the turtle and snake or the Chinese black tortoise.

Personality

A strict leader who is an amazing military strategist. A man who is diligent an collectible. He is incredibly strict and a rules lawyer. He also has the ability to read people like a book.

His problem is that he has his head so far up his own butt that it makes him blind to the opinions of other.

He is an anemo character with a unique gimmick he can't use a charge attack and cannot gain energy.

Basic attack

Scale dust strike

Hits an enemy with two slashes per single attack. The attacks count as separate hits. He has a scaling for basic attack up to 5 clicks from 1st to fifth. 200%,210%,240%, 270, 340%. Mind you he has a very fast attack speed.

Skill

Snake technique: bite

Deals 250% anemo damage and is quick slash. Grants a debuff to an enemy that increases the chance for that enemy to get critical hits by 35% and grants all allies 15% crit rate for ten seconds. It also applies 4 stacks of bleed and grants 6 stacks of blade dance

Cooldown 5 seconds

Burst

Black tortoise blessing: Scale storm dust

Requirement 10 stacks of blade dance

Sun Mou sheds dust of his armor. He then uses his sword to make a whirlwind and those dust particles become miniature needles that cuts the opponent. It hits 20 times. He then switches to another party member and that party member gains a shield whose hp is 500% of Sun Mou's elemental mastery. That party member also gains 50% of Sun Mou's attack, def, crit rate and crit dmg;and 100% of his elemental mastery.

Environment talent. Gain an ability to locate nearby enemies. They will be shown in an aura or be highlighted.

Interactions

Qiqi-with worry and concern about why a jiangshi is walking around and is on guard from first interaction. He is confused why this jiangshi is not attacking people. He thinks because she is a child and negative energy was not able to be built up as she didn't live long enough so what was left was good energy.

Xiangling- Thinks she is some sort of beast tamer.

Yelan and Ninguang- thinks they are sus or have secrets

Meet Zhou gong

His animal is a crane and he is based on Zhou Yu

He is a calm and rational man. Mostly, professional and respectful to his allies. He can be a bit narcissistic and rough around the edges. He has a hatred for betrayal. He is a strategist.

He has this need to rescue women who were kidnapped or taken as that is how he meet his wife Xiao Qiao. He also has fought with his wife in a duel in training and for her hand in marriage. He also has a very keen sense of hearing. He can detect even the smallest of imperfections.

He has a water sword but he has a charged attack that doesn't use stamina

Basic attack

Crane strike

He dashes through an enemy and strikes them from the back

1st attack 200%

Charged 350%

Skill Crane art, Feather dance

Cooldown 9s

He leaps into the air and ground pounds the enemy and that spawns feathers that when enemies touch inflict a bleed status on them when he strike the ground. These can be effected by other anemo skills like succrose or venti's ults.

Energy 4 per enemy hit

Talent effect This skill grants a bonus to allies based or debuff to the enemies depending on what type of swirl this does.

Hydro- gain 40 % elemental mastery of his elemental mastery

Pyro gain 40 % of elemental mastery

Electro enemies defense gets lowered by 40%

Cryo enemies resistance to all elements and physical gets lowered by 40%

Ultimate Whirlpool dance. Maelstrom

Energy cost 90 energy

Cooldown 10s

Ultimate sucks all nearby enemies and objects. He then inflicts bleed onto all enemies. Damage is 500% of his attack multiplied by his elemental mastery.

Talent effect

Gain an buff called blade dance when his ultimate damages an enemy, takes damage from a floating item like klee's flying bombs and feathers or triggers swirl. this buff increases all allies atk speed and lowers characters cooldown by 1% stacks up to 25 times and has duration of ten 10s

Non comabat talent-he can bargain for a lower price to shopkeepers.

Interactions

Likes

Yao yao and Xiangling-likes their energetic personalities as it reminds him of his wife and he knows these two are the honest so he tends to be relaxed around them

XinYan- He doesn't understand rock music and thinks it's too loud but understands it's purpose. He likes the fact that even if it won't be accepted she plays the music she loves. He does want her to be his student as he can sense that she has talent.

Xiao-likes his loyalty to Rex Lapis

Dislikes

Ninguang and yelan as he thinks these two have something suspicious about them.

Baizhu- thinks he is using qiqi for something evil.

Meet the faction of Shu Han.

Meet Guan Yuan

He is the ultimate bro in personality and a tenacious warrior to the people who have earned his trust. He is one of the most loyal people if you can earn his trust.

To most people, he is incredibly prideful and narcissistic. This is is his only weakness.

You can fight him as a world boss like the Regisvine. You have two ways of defeating him. You can stall him without taking any damage until the timer runs out or deal enough damage to defeat him.

There is a special achievement of defeating him solo and with no artifacts. The achievement is called " Let me solo him"

Drops are all the books with a chance to double the drops and a guaranteed chance to drop a billet. The billets are always random on week ends but you can gurantee them based on the weekday.

Monday catalyst Tuesday bow Wednesday sword, Thursday claymore Friday Spear

Meet the duo of Liu Xian and zhuge kong

Zhuge Kong and Liu Xian are based on Liu Bei and Zhuge Liang. The animal tied to them is a dragon.

Zhuge Kong is the strategist

Liu Xian is the leader.

Zhuge Kong is merciful and a hermit. He is incredibly wise. He is incredibly wise for his age to the point people want to look for him for advice. Man is good with words and is incredibly loyal to Liu Xian. There are rumors that he might have feelings for him.

There is a specific achievement if you can convince him to help yanfei win a rap competition called " Ya Boi is back"

His only two weaknesses are physical ability and he cannot be funny for the life of him.

Liu Xian is an honorable man. He is a man of virtue. He shows that even as a warlord. He has honor among them. He has a very close bond with Zhuge Kong like Achilles and Patroclus. He says that Zhuge Kong is the only person he trusts with his will

These two are a pair in combat. They take up two slots but they are treated as anemo. If it's these two by themselves they naturally have anemo resonance.

Talent Strategist's wisdom. He can activate the resonance of all party members.

These two are unique to say the least. When you build one you build the other at the same time.

We have Zhuge first as his is easier. Zhuge has no basic attack. He instead has two skills at a ridiculously short cooldown of 5 sec.

First skill tactician's advice- apply a buff to all allies when activated. Gain 2 times the energy and lower all cooldowns by 15% for 20 secs.

Second skill Snore of the sleeping dragon. All enemies get continuously sucked into circle. (Think like sucrose ult with out launching the enemies into the air) that deals anemo damage equal to 150% of his attack and all enemies within it get 10% of their shield broken no matter the type.

Talent This applies a debuff to all enemies. The debuff makes it so that anyone who has it receives 2.5 times the damage when they get hit with an elemental attack and 5 times the damage from a physical attack.

Energy

Liu Xian

He uses dual swords like Sun Quan

Basic attack Wushu strike.

Hits an enemy with two slashes per single attack. The attacks count as separate hits. He has a scaling for basic attack up to 5 clicks from 1st to fifth. 200%,210%,240%, 270, 340%.

Skill

Dragon style: 16 holes

Cooldown 10 secs

Energy 1 per hit to a singular enemy.

He strikes the enemy sixteen times. Each hit deals Anemo and physical damage equivalent to 169% of his attack. He gains a stack of honor after using this skill.

Talent each honor stack increases his crit rate by 20% and his allies crit rate by 10% max stacks can be gained up to 3 this lasts for 30 secs

These two share an ultimate double dragon lords: howling gale

Zhuge summons a giant tornado and Liu attacks each enemy inside the tornado sixteen times. Each hit does 200 of Liu Xian's damage. The tornado apply a debuff that makes it so during the duration of the tornado being activeevery element inside that tornado is not removed when a reaction is activated. The duration of the tornado being 25 secs. During duration of the tornado being active Liu Xian cannot be switched into.

Energy cost 200

Cooldown 30 secs

Here are some gimmicks both share the same stats and artifacts.

Dislike Yelan, Ninguang as they are incredibly sus.

Likes for Zhuge are

Yanfei and Xin Yan- helps understand liyue culture via music and laws.

Ninguang and Yelan-respect the hustle

Xiangling-Good food.

Dislikes of Zhuge are

None as He has yet to be given a dislike except hu tao who he sees as annoying.

Likes Liu

Xingqiu likes him as a honor but dislikes his treatment of chongyun

Beidou- likes her as drinking buddies.

Yanfei - likes her adherence and willingness to help others with the law.

Dislikes

None as He has not met someone so evil yet.

Sorry for not posting this as I was supposed to post this on Christmas Eve but I got sick and sorry keeping this in hiatus for so long as I was focused on my studies. I will send the next part for this one as later down the line as it has actual story implications and let's just say the reason the flames died was because a man who sought vengeance and become consumed by it out of the death of his beautiful wife. That and also he will become a weekly boss.

#genshin impact #sagau #genshin impact sagau #genshin sagau #yugioh x genshin sagau crossover #sagau cult au #genshin yugioh crossover #yugioh x genshin crossover

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sadisticmagicians · 7 months

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7 truly is the odd duck of digits imo…. 0 is nothingness, 1 holds singularity, 2 the duality, 3 represents the trilogy and rule of 3s, 4 is a decently sturdy number and a well rounded alternative to 3, 5 is INCREDIBLY sturdy, 6 holds the cute property of being divisible by both 2 and 3 (as well as 1 and 6 ofc) like super cute. 8 is the dual pyramid, and we all know about the rule of 9s. 7 is strange because it feels like there is little important about it but perhaps that is the beauty of it, it doesn’t fit in with the others.

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notyouraveragepromptpage · 5 months

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As a medic and firefighter, I wonder if you could help me with a story quandary. Does fire ever burn people sort of patchy, or usually in a solid block? I've got a character escaping a burning building (at whatever stage of burningness best serves my story!), he's momentarily pinned in place when something falls on his hand, and that's when the fire starts getting up close and personal until he can wrench himself free. I'd love to find the sweet spot where he has a long and agonising recovery and significant cosmetic scarring, but at the end of it isn't so badly disabled that he can't return to his fun crime fighting career 😂 I've been picturing that he might have a few patches of full thickness burns requiring grafts, with mostly bad second degree in between, so it covers a large overall area in the early days but long term settles into just a few bad spots. Is this feasibly how fire behaves? Many thanks 😊

hi! thanks for the ask and i do apologize for how long it’s taken to respond. yes, fire can behave like this. the severity of the burn would depend on the heat of the fire, proximity, and amount of time exposed. using the rule of 9s, i’ve had patients with burns over 3% of their body surface area and patients with 98% burns over their body surface area. the question is if they’re superficial (1st degree,) partial thickness (2nd degree,) or full thickness (3rd degree.) you absolutely can and will have splotchy burned areas. you could have full thickness burns over 40% of your body and partial thickness over 10% or really any pattern you want to give your character. it just has to make sense. i would just consult the chart i’ll add explaining the rule of 9s to make your story the most accurate.

as for recovery, i have some notes. superficial burns are like sunburns, painful to touch and hot to touch. it’s difficult to regulate body heat, because the skin is damaged and that’s the skins job. partial thickness burns are painful. so painful. they’ll be red and blistered, maybe have exposed flesh, oozing and bleeding. the skin may melt or pull away from the body. but the fire hasn’t burned the nerve endings yet, so the patient can still feel everything. full thickness burns don’t hurt. the nerve ending have been so damaged that the patient doesn’t feel pain. they still won’t be able to regulate temperature. infection rate is high. you have to literally scrape off the dead and dying flesh to prevent infection and give your patient the best chance of recovery. the patient will still be burning for a while after being removed from the danger and in a hospital bed. the smell is horrific and you may see parts of bones, muscle, and connective tissues. removing their clothes usually pulls off flesh as well because they’ve melted together. all of these patients need to be kept warm, dry, and covered in sterile dressing. if you think you can stomach it i highly recommend looking up pictures of before and after of recovery for all of these patients.

i hope this helps you some. sorry it’s gross.

🤍you,

#writing #writing prompt #writing tips #quotes #tips and tricks #prompt #dialogue prompt #how to write #writeblr #writing prompts #writing medical #medical #medicine #medic #slow burn

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redstringraven · 1 year

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an excruciatingly long ramble about the ‘03 turtles and the enneagram 🐢💙 pt3

[ intro + disclaimers post ] [ pt 2 - raph ] [ pt 4 - don ] [ pt 5 - mikey ]

leo, 1 with a 2 wing

intro

to reiterate some things i said in raph’s post, where i believe raph starts the series at his lowest point, leo ends the series (in terms of this project) at his lowest point. leo seems to be in his healthiest state in seasons 1 and 2, which will be reflected in the security section of this post, and the first half of season 4 is when we see him at his worst. while i wish we’d gotten to see more of a ‘full arc’ for each of the boys, i’m glad we at least got to see it for one.

speaking of ‘one’ (haha, segue!), let’s take a quick look at a 1's basics. i’ll be following the same format i did for raph’s post, so feel free to revisit his should you need a refresher on terms.

bare basics of the 1

1s are one of the three compliant types (along with 2s and 6s), and they’re members of the gut triad (made of 8s, 9s and 1s).

i realized shortly after publishing raph’s post that i never explained what i meant by him being an 'assertive type', and it’s as i bring up leo that i realize i should have elaborated a bit. if you’re reading these as i publish them, it’s now been added in this section of raph’s post.

when i say that 1s are 'compliant types', i mean that they’re people who move toward others. they like to be of service to the people around them. this isn’t to say they’re blindly compliant in a literal sense to other people, more so that they feel the need to obey internalized rules, principles and other dictates they’ve learned in their childhoods.

as previously mentioned, members of the gut triad seek autonomy and they’re concerned with control of their environment and resistance. 8s externalize it, 9s forget it, and 1s internalize it.

a 1’s basic fear is of being ‘bad’; defective, evil, or corrupt

their basic desire is to be good, in balance, and virtuous; to have integrity

they believe they’ll be okay so long as what they do is right.

childhood take-aways

we return to the quote from master splinter at the start of things change (s1ep1):

“your path in life will not be an easy one. the outside world will not be a friendly place for you. you four are different in ways the surface dwellers would never understand. to survive, you must master these skills i teach you: the powers of stealth and secrecy. you must become kage, shadow warriors, and you must never be discovered by the outside world.”

i think it could go without saying that the turtles’ lives as kids had to’ve been chaotic from the word ‘go’.

you’ve got master splinter single-parenting four boys (all while dealing with his own grief and newfound human-level intelligence), having to hide from the rest of the city’s population, living in the sewers with limited resources, knowing that you’ve only got each other because the surface dwellers will never accept you, the reason you’re even learning ninjitsu is so that one day--should you ever be discovered--you’re capable of defending yourself, the list goes on.

additionally, in attack of the mousers (s1ep3) when master splinter states that april knowing they exist puts them in great danger, leo points out that she was in danger. raph then asks master splinter “yeah, aren’t you always teachin' us to try and do the right thing?”.

from this we learn that on top of teaching the boys ninjitsu, splinter is teaching them morals. you could argue that this is obvious since they’re aware of the concept of ‘honor’, but i think it’s important to distinguish that this is an unwarped version of ‘honor’ (karai is an example of that, but we’ll get to her). they’re not only being taught how to survive and protect themselves, but they're learning the differences in right and wrong in ways that extend beyond themselves and their own needs or goals. when it comes to leo and his 1 this is important to keep in mind.

in a similar way to 8s, 1s often grow up too quickly. young 1s might respond to chaotic conditions around them by becoming hyper-responsible or taking the place of the voice of reason in their families. they develop a sense of seriousness and adult responsibility at an early age. they understand that their parents (their ‘protective figure’) expect a lot from them, and it’s not uncommon for them to take on those expectations earnestly. this allows them to establish some sense of autonomy and boundaries--both of which are important to their type.

1s as children will often try to surpass what is expected of them by adhering to self-inflicted rules so rigorously that no one will be able to catch them in error. this will earn them their independence. they feel they have to come up with a better set of rules for themselves than that of their protective-figure, so they will be capable of deciding what is right or wrong.

leo seems to acknowledge his need not just for order in his profile, but also the need to make up for any ‘slack’ left by his brothers. he states that he’s not trying to be perfect, just ‘perfectly proficient’.

…leonardo, my love, i’m gonna give you a chance to hear yourself say that again. this isn’t only alliteration, it’s also synonymous.

leo can be seen practicing ninjitsu outside of ‘normal training’ at least once every season, something we rarely see his brothers doing (raph exercises, mikey will sometimes 'train' but it seems more like raph or a brother was looking for a sparring partner and mikey isn't taking it seriously, and don almost never trains in his free time).

in meet casey jones (s1ep4) he’s practicing his split-kick. at the start of city at war (s2ep14) he’s trying to do the whole… spinny-stab the target thing. he’s the one training at the start of the time scepter episodes (his episode being s3ep22), whereas his brothers are engaging in their individual interests. there are multiple examples to pull from in season four, but i think the example that speaks blatantly to the 1’s need to not just meet their expectations but to surpass them is found in the ancient one (s4ep14). he demands of master splinter “when are you going to teach me something i don’t already know”. this is, however, a bit complicated as it occurs when leo's in his most unhealthy state.

we've seen in flashbacks, specifically mikey's from tales of leo (s1ep19) that leo has always taken ninjitsu and his training seriously (and, we can assume, those lessons in morality and honor). he feels he needs to surpass splinter’s expectations, as well as pick up the ‘slack’ from his brothers. looking back to his official profile, he states "i must be there to compensate for their lack of focus".

i feel the need to quickly point out that don, mikey, and raph pursuing interests outside of ninjitsu is NOT "bad". through the mind of a 1, however, these 'distractions' might keep them from meeting what's expected of them. not being able to meet expectations is 'bad'.

1s need to be good. if no one else will do it, they step up to the plate. even if it's not what they want to do, they believe it's what they should do. what they need to do.

leo as a 1

1s can sometimes be nicknamed: ‘the perfectionist’, ‘the reformer’, ‘the idealist’, ‘the judge’, ‘the critic’, or ‘the motivator’.

an ‘average’ 1, in terms of mental and spiritual health, can be described as having a judging or comparing mind that is almost magnetically pulled to notice errors and imperfections. they struggle to accept that mistakes are inevitable, that perfection is an unreachable bar, and they fear the tyranny of their critical inner voice. because, and i cannot stress this enough, where Pinocchio might have had a nice little cricket as his voice of reason and consciousness, 1s have a critic that perches on their shoulder just beside their ear and points out every little thing ‘wrong’ around or with them. in attempting to create their own brand of perfection, they’ll cultivate their own hell instead.

1s believe that being strict with themselves and achieving self-discipline will justify themselves in the eyes of those around them, as well as in themselves (and you need to remember that word: justify). neatness and order are often comforting to 1s; it makes them feel safe and less anxious.

1s want to be good people. they always want to do ‘the right thing’. should a stranger on a stormy night board a bus and express need for warm food and shelter, any 1 aboard that bus would believe it was their responsibility to ensure that person received proper care and safety; it’s the correct, responsible thing to do, and we should all expect it of ourselves.

i always get profoundly sad whenever i see people harping on leo in the 03 series or saying that his personality is just ‘the leader’ or that he’s boring. 1s are more than capable of being goofy, sarcastic, and playful--and we see leo tap into this part of him several times throughout the series! but that inner critic, the voice in their head warning them not to be caught slipping up, can be deafening more often than not. due to the nature of the series, we only really get to see the turtles "in a situation", NOT during downtime. leo's 1 has to be engaged... someone has to be taking things seriously, after all.

it's also important to note that being responsible, doing what’s expected of them (be it the expectations of others or of themselves), is one of the ways that 1s say “I love you”. they may not vocalize this often, nor be the most physically affectionate, but a hug from a 1 comes in many other forms. you just have to pay attention. an example from one of my books is to imagine what may have happened in your neighborhood during a major storm. after it blew over, your house was the only one with power and heat because your parent, who is a 1, bought a back-up generator years earlier and regularly checked to make sure it was properly serviced and fueled. that’s a hug from a 1. they’ll keep track of your doctor’s appointments, they’ll find ways to make life work on a budget, do whatever they can to make the world a more comfortable and secure place for you.

returning to leo’s 03 profile, he states that he trains diligently and reads up on strategy to better prepare himself and his family for times of stress. since this is a way that 1s express their love, it’s no wonder that the events of exodus damaged leo as much as they did; him 'not being capable or prepared enough' keep his family safe means that he fell short in more ways than just skill or ability. what if they start to think he didn’t love them enough to do more?

leo’s relationship with karai throughout the series can really underline his 1 and his need to maintain his integrity as well as do what’s right. there are multiple instances where choosing to do nothing would have removed her from the chess board: letting her deal with the fallout of her plan in city at war (s2ep16), from saving her from falling to her death in be-jing (s3ep15) to going out of his way to save her in hun on the run (s3ep18) despite the protests of his brothers, to--once again--catching her from falling to her death in exodus part 2 (s3ep26).

karai even remarks in that episode of exodus that he’s “much too kind”. (you’re goddamn right he is, this boy has a fear of heights and you’re constantly falling from shit, yet he snatches you out of the air anyway even at the risk of his own safety tf).

1s with 2 wings are sometimes nicknamed ‘the advocates’. average-health 1s of this subtype are active and outgoing people. they are comfortable being alone, and do require a good deal of “down time” to recharge and think, they’re energized by engaging with others and refining their ideas. when on the healthier side of a 2, they can be quite extroverted, helpful and empathetic. under the influence of a 2, these 1s are more sensitive to the needs of those around them. on the low side of a 2, however, they can be more critical and controlling. they feel strongly that they need to make a difference and try to accomplish too many tasks in one day, and they can be much more fiery and action-oriented than 1w9s.

healthier 1w2s can blend their quest for ideals and higher principles with higher empathy and compassion for others. they’re genuinely interested in improving mankind and are more willing to get into the trenches to bring about the changes they seek. people of this subtype are persuasive and go out of their way to get others to care about the causes and beliefs they do.

i didn't do this with raph since don and mikey will serve as explanations for the thinking triad, but we don't have any turtles whose core type is on the feeling triad. since leo and don both have wings in the feeling triad, let's do just a little briefing here while we're on the subject of leo's 2 wing.

types in the feeling triad (2s, 3s, and 4s) are concerned with love of a 'false self' and their self-image. they seek attention and have issues with identity and hostility, and often times they struggle with an underlying feeling of shame. 2s focus outwardly on the feelings of others; they need to feel needed. leo may not have a 2 as a core number, but having a 2 wing means he's often influenced by that type.

stress & security numbers

leo’s stress number is 4; he'll begin to adopt negative traits associated with 4s when stressed or in an unhealthy state of mind.

that inner critic gets louder and louder, and the 1's desire to ‘fix’ the things around them goes into overdrive. they can become resentful toward those around them for having fun, become sensitive to criticism and will often become depressed. they may even begin to feel unlovable.

in times of heightened stress, 1s might not only lean into the 4’s habit of daydreams and fantasies, longing to be free from the things they consider their obligations and responsibilities, but their inner critic will ridicule them for it. they’ll begin to have profound feelings of guilt and shame, they'll garner an even deeper resolve to hold those desires at bay and deny themselves things that could bring them happiness and peace. they’ll begin to believe that no one understands them or sees how hard they’re working. they’ll grow moody, melancholic and withdrawn. all that discipline and self-control will collapse into frustrated feelings of envy and resentment. it could lead to emotional outbursts and hostility, and should they be questioned about it they’ll only become more self-conscious and self-controlled. when a 1 finally blows a valve, someone almost always gets burned.

some examples of leo’s 4 showing up are:

his frustration toward splinter at the beginning of the shredder strikes (s1ep10)

multiple expressions of hopelessness and sadness about getting home to master splinter throughout the space arc (s2ep1-4); raph is often the one assuring HIM

his nightmare throughout darkness within (s3ep14) and how it potentially, if you squint, ties into his apology to master splinter at the end of exodus (s3ep26) when he says he failed him; that nightmare came true

…do i even need to mention anything from the first half of season four, or do we just already know

leo’s security number is 7; in a healthier state of mind and spirit, he takes on the positive traits of a 7.

similarly to how don and raph have common ground beneath the surface, i think leo and mikey shake hands on that front as well. which just makes me all the more feral about mikey having leo’s back in the first half of season four. leo’s security number being a 7 means that mikey’s stress number is a 1. whether mikey knows it or not, i think this link helps him connect with leo easier than don and raph can (this isn’t so say they can’t, of course, just that it comes a little more natural for mikey).

as we’ll cover in mikey’s post, 7s are much more perceptive than people assume they are. mikey not only knew leo was struggling with the weight of his self-assigned responsibility, i think he understood it on a deeper level.

in a healthier state, the 1’s inner critic will get quieter. they become more self-accepting, fun, spontaneous, and willing to try new things. they’re more curious and optimistic, more able to relate to the perspectives of others. they learn to relax their guard, allowing themselves be affected by reality (to go with the flow) without needing to tense against it.

it’s as they learn to distinguish themselves from the voice of their inner critic that a 1 will begin to experience the qualities of a healthy 7: open-mindedness, curiosity, enthusiasm and joy. “there is a crack in everything; that’s how the light gets in”.

some examples of leo’s 7 coming to the surface are:

the “your reign of terror is OVER, stockman” in attack of the mousers (s1ep3)

telling a foot ninja they don’t take kindly to shop-lifters in a museum (s1ep6)

throwing a vehicle-chair at a triceraton whilst telling them they look tired and should have a seat (s2ep2)

giving raph fucking SPOONS for weapons (s2ep3)… the absolute mad lad, he really said “here lmfao” and gave his brother soup utensils to fight 8 foot dinosaurs. for the meme. an entire utility closet of potential weapons… and he gave the boy spoons. because he knew he’d be fine.

letting casey sweat while enemy GUNS were actively pointed at him in the golden puck (s2ep18) jesus christ

the rooftop race with raph in touch and go (s3ep8) and telling him to “step it up, sNAIL BOY”

leo’s 7 surfacing will never not make me violently affectionate toward him. every silly quip and one-liner and bad pun and terrible impression of professor honeycutt (s3ep5), like, bye, i need to sign the adoption papers immediately. it’s not easy for him. and i love that there’s almost always an awkward quality to it because he’s out of his element--he’s letting himself be… stupid. imperfect. lame, even. and, god, is it cute. i’m so endeared. i gotta lie down.

cardinal sins - 1 and anger

while the 1’s cardinal sin might be ‘wrath’ or ‘anger’, a truer word to their experiences is ‘resentment’.

their anger is directed both at themselves for failing to live up to their ideals and expectations as well as at others for what 1s see as laziness and irresponsibility. this could be anything from a classmate not pulling their weight on an assignment to someone 'breaking the rules' at a checkout line (this line is for ten items and under, you clearly have thirteen).

as 1s become less healthy, they begin to displace their anger onto others as they make themselves the only judge of who is right or wrong; they grow more irritable with others as they seem to be getting off the hook without consequence. they often will feel that those around them aren’t taking an equal share of the responsibility and seem to be having all the fun. but, unlike an 8 who chooses anger in place of what they're really feeling, 1s don't want you to know they're angry. because being angry is 'bad'.

where 8s externalize their anger and 9s try to forget it, 1s will hide theirs away beneath the surface, where it will begin to express itself to everyone around them in smoldering resentment.

anger is often a secondary emotion; it’s a way of resisting an attack on our integrity and--when fully experienced--it is instantaneous and short-lived. however, when we resist it or hang onto it, it cultivates into obsessive thinking, emotional constriction and physical tension. 1s, seeing anger as something ‘bad’, will experience their anger without identifying it as such. they’ll deny their anger, stating things like “i’m not angry, i’m just trying to get it right” or “i’m not mad, i just don’t understand”.

in short, leo would be that dad who tells you he’s not mad, he’s just disappointed. [everybody disliked that]

1s will also often try to find a cause or a reason in order to justify their anger; something they can fight but in a way that is ‘good’. that way their anger ‘makes sense’ and isn’t 'selfish', they’re angry for a good reason, and they have something to act on.

i think we get our first real glimpse of leo’s cardinal sin as early as the shredder strikes (s1ep10). master splinter tells him that if doesn't learn there is no 'superior weapon' and that ANY weapon can be deadly in the right hands, then he will have learned nothing. leo then goes topside to blow off steam. and while verbally expressing his frustration--sorry, i mean confusion, he's not MAD he just doesn't get why he's 'in trouble' when his skill is the best it's ever been--he slices up a pack of helpless newspapers who were just minding their own business.

resentment is described as “bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly”; in leo’s mind, he thinks master splinter is treating him unfairly. telling him that despite all his training and all the work he’s put into ninjitsu that if he doesn’t understand the value of a weapon is in its wielder he’s learned NOTHING. "master splinter just doesn’t understand how important these swords are to me!". that’s a bit of leo’s 4 showing through: no one gets it, no one understands me.

as we mentioned with raph, i’d like to also take a look at the other cardinal sins attached to leo’s core type. his 2 wing, stress 4 and security 7 would give him pride, envy, and gluttony respectively.

city at war

ah shit… here we go again.gif

we talked about the build up to city at war in raph’s post, so i don’t think we need to do that a second time here. both because… none of the facts and details of the timeline change with the shift in perspective, and because that history leading into the events of city at war don’t necessarily influence leo’s 1. the most important connection when it comes to leo is the fact that the major players in the city are in a turf war because the balance of power is now unstable.

leo’s seeing the effects this power struggle has on the city--and the innocent people living in it--and his 1 can’t help but draw a thick, red line from ‘we killed shredder’ to ‘we caused this and this is our fault’.

he tells master splinter that he’s confused in s2ep14; he thought things would change for the better after they defeated the shredder, but they seem to only be getting worse. he states “don’t ask me to explain how, but it feels like our fault”. and WHO understands what he’s talking about?? mikey. the other turtle with a 1 connected to his type; he's engaging with his stress number while raph leans fully into his 5.

leo decides to directly disobey master splinter, stating that he CAN’T do ‘nothing’. it wouldn’t be right to just shrug and turn a blind eye to this.

and i just have to point out… for pete’s fucking sake, boy’s about to throw himself into a building of foot ninja. ALONE. after just last season facing them and almost DYING because of it. he’s about to put himself through that trauma all over again--WILLINGLY--because he just... can’t shake this feeling that this whole thing is their fault. they have a direct connection to this domino effect as far as he's concerned, and it's his responsibility to fix it. SOMEONE has to.

we’ll never know if the turtles’ involvement up until karai’s appearance in new york actually did help or if it just added more fuel to the fire, but i think leo in a lot of ways would have been doomed to just keep digging his heels in and trying to 'help'. because as things would get worse, it would just solidify his worries even more.

we can’t even really determine if helping karai was the best move because her plan BASICALLY failed, and they only made it out of there alive because raph and master splinter showed up with the element of surprise. once again, there’s too many moving parts, too complicated of a situation to play the “what if” game, everyone was stupid and lucky. mikey’s not wrong when he says karai’s plan kinda stank.

…speaking of.

i guess we should talk about karai

yeah, you can’t really talk about 03 leo without acknowledging his relationship with karai. i’m not gonna dwell on this too much, because this post ain’t about her, but for full disclosure karai is one of those characters i very much want to like but… girl. stop it. get some help.

karai tests leo’s 1 in a lot of ways. we meet her, of course, in city at war (s2ep15). it’s kind of an unsettling return to the shredder strikes in an odd sense, as leo is once again given the offer to join forces with the foot (only with the illusion of grandeur swept away). this time around, it’s not only in the hopes of giving balance back to the city and its inhabitants, but also an olive branch between the foot and his own family. no revenge for the shredder's destruction.

because you know. he's totally dead. ...totally.

buuuuut. rogue in the house (s2ep19) happens. rest in peace, zog. the foot have very much NOT kept their word, as the boys intercept a fake master splinter meant to expose and destroy them from the inside. karai is tasked with killing the turtles herself as proof of her loyalty toward the shredder (and that warped sense of 'honor' meaning she's bound to serve him). and when confronted with this she even kind of blames leo for the position she's put in, stating she wished he wouldn't have come here [taylor swift's look what you made me do playing in the distance]. like... sweetheart, darling, gravy, we wouldn't be here if y'all hadn't offended our dad by trying to kill us with his likeness!

leo gives her the option to do the right thing and let him live, and she does. at the end of part two (s2ep20) she doesn’t report them having survived the ship sinking.

i can’t help but wonder if leo sees himself in karai (this is not me saying karai is a 1, mind you).

like, in the sense that ch’rell almost tricked him into joining the foot, ch’rell took her under his wing when she was young. only... she didn’t have a family to pull her out of the illusion and bring her back to reality. when you’re looking through rose-tinted glasses, all the red flags just look like flags. no one was there to help karai take hers off after ch’rell took her in. she still thinks she’s fighting that greater evil instead of realizing that she's fighting alongside that great evil.

and leo keeps getting glimpses that she knows something’s wrong. be it sparing his life and not reporting them in rogue in the house, thanking him at the end of hun on the run (s3ep18), or knowing that shredder’s actions are putting the citizens of be-jing in great danger (s3ep15), it’s clear she has SOME moral compass buried under everything ch’rell has taught her and lead her to believe.

the 1 in him can’t abandon her. it wouldn’t be the right thing to do to turn his back on her when there are still signs she can be helped. so he keeps extending her that hand. he keeps trying to get through to her and lower the bridge. until she finally burns it down, herself, when she tries to wipe out his family in scion of the shredder (s4ep15).

i know she gets a bit of a redemption arc in s5, but... as stated in my disclaimer post, the majority of my attention and weight is given to seasons 1-4. frankly, i feel the damage is done. karai’s doubled down, and leo’s resentment toward her--for allowing herself to become no different than ch’rell, for going back on her word personally (the shredder is gone and she's no longer 'honor-bound' to his orders) and trying to kill his family herself--is going to be a hard, hard thing to mend.

it's sad. i say that genuinely.

the first half of season four and… yeah

so back in raph’s post i listed some words to describe 8s at their healthiest and at their unhealthiest. let’s take a look at 1s.

1s, at their healthiest, can be described as accepting and wise. evaluating, reasonable, principled and responsible. but at their unhealthiest, they can become self-righteous and inflexible. obsessive and contradictory. condemnatory and punitive. the first half of season four is just a slow, painful spiral of watching leo becoming more and more withdrawn, more self-punishing, and more angry.

things start relatively ‘light’.

in cousin sid (s4ep1) through sons of the silent age (s4ep3), leo’s less angry and more just… distant and sad. this is like the calm before the storm. we see him disengaged a lot, not really paying attention to the conversation around him and often times staring at his own reflection. his 4’s habit of slipping into daydreams and wallowing in melancholy has him stewing over the events of exodus--replaying them again and again in his head as his inner critic scrambles to point out everything he did wrong and invent what he “should” have done. he even says this himself to april, that he can’t stop thinking about it. that no matter how he tries to rationalize or, quote, “JUSTIFY” it, he wasn’t good enough. remember what i said back in the earlier sections of this post? 1s feel the need to justify themselves in the eyes of those around them, as well as in themselves. leo can't find a way to do this with how exodus played out. he wasn't prepared enough. he wasn't good enough.

dragon’s brew (s4ep4) is where the calm ends and the storm begins. we start the episode off with casey confusing leo for raph. leo’s anger is starting to bubble, but his 1 doesn’t allow him to just sit there and be angry. because being angry is not ‘good’. so, we gotta do something with that anger in order to justify feeling it. …oh, look. there’s been a lot of crime lately. could be a new threat. don’t like that. …who can i snoop around with who won’t ask questions? who won’t try to get in my way if i get a little excessive with burning off this not-anger i feel?

casey.

problem is, like we mentioned earlier in the cardinal sin section, anger is only short-lived when you allow yourself to feel it and let it go. when you try to smother it--try to put it away and call it something else--it contorts into something worse. as master splinter said in s1ep4, “rage is a monster that will destroy you from within”.

… …foreshadowing is a literary device wh--

grudge match (s4ep6) is where the storm is here, and now there's resistance to it. like i said in raph’s post, this is where raph first confronts leo on his change in attitude, albeit master splinter interrupts this. at this point, mikey seems to be the only one connecting dots. like i’d said, his type having connection to a 1 might make understanding leo come more naturally to him than to raph or don or even master splinter.

we get, just… a great bit of dialogue here when looking at them from an enneagram lens.

leo: …no. like pushing yourself beyond your limits. to a place where there are no limits. to be so focused, so ready that nothing and no one will ever catch you off guard again! mikey: um. …we still talking about me, here?

this exchange is great for two key reasons:

(one) you’ll remember what i said in the childhood section of this post about 1s adhering to self-inflicted rules so rigorously that no one else will be able to catch them in error, and

(two) that mikey IMMEDIATELY realizes leo is projecting. he just doesn’t address it directly because that’s not how 7s operate with heavy or hard topics (we’ll get to that).

leo continues to either reframe or relabel his anger and obsessive training into something else during bad day (s4ep8). he describes it as ‘doing what he has to to keep this family safe’, despite that master splinter is giving him one hell of a side-eye and radiating sure, jan energy.

in dragons rising (s4ep10) the boiling point is on the horizon. leo lashes out at his brothers, verbally, reprimanding them for taking everything 'too lightly'. they only stopped HALF of the dragons. they need to stop treating ‘this’ like it’s all a game.

in samurai tourist (s4ep13), we get to see mikey once again being the most empathetic and understanding of leo’s current mindset, directly pointing out that leo often "picks up their slack" so they can do whatever they want. things are bad enough that master splinter has reached out to usagi as an effort to get through leo's walls. usagi almost… ALMOST gets through to him.

he’s been in something similar to leo’s position, understands and empathizes with the rationale of self-blame. for the first time, leo’s talking to someone he admires and looks up to who is ALSO on common ground with him. you could argue that master splinter should be able to fill this role, but if i may point out two things: not only is usagi more a peer than he is protector or mentor or parent, but splinter was also just a normal rat when he was unable to protect yoshi... i doubt leo would want to listen to that be given the same weight.

leo's even about to open up when they’re interrupted. that interruption leads into a fight with an assassin… a fight that, unfortunately, only seems to affirm how leo feels about needing to protect his family, needing to be ready at any and all times, and never being caught off guard again.

the valve finally bursts in the ancient one (s4ep14).

this is leo’s lowest moment in the series… and it’s a parallel to raph at his worst moment all the way back at the start of the series. leo loses control of his temper, and he lashes out, physically, at master splinter. his rage and resentment--be it with his brothers for “”treating this like a game”” or with himself for not “”being good enough”” or master splinter drawing attention to his anger, questioning it--is destroying him from the inside.

leo only begins to finally heal after he allows himself to not only feel all of that anger in its earnest, raw form, but also expresses it with every literal fiber of his being.

seeing his warped memory, interpretation, whatever you want to call it of the events of exodus is just… a lot. i don’t really have the vocabulary to articulate that experience, of having stewed over something for so long that you’ve rewritten events so pressure and expectations were placed on you that were never there to begin with. don, mikey, raph and master splinter never said any of those things in exodus, but at this point that’s how leo remembers it.

he not only fights the golem physically, but he’s verbally airing out that he did everything. there wasn’t anything else he could do, and the golem is WRONG in thinking that there was. and when he sees himself under the dirt and clay... it clicks.

in those last few moments of the episode, he acknowledges that he’s been obsessed, convinced he wasn’t good enough, that he was angry, and had become his own enemy. accepting the reality that he DID do everything he could and that it was enough, and flowing with it rather than bristling and tensing against it and punishing himself for it.

the scene ends with the ancient one telling him a story of when master yoshi, someone leo has respected and possibly idolized from splinter’s teachings, was also at a crossroads “not dissimilar to his own”. more assurance after usagi that he’s not alone in this, and even someone he holds in such high regard as yoshi has also struggled but found a way to be okay with imperfection.

he’s not hiding the cracks anymore. he’s looking at them. accepting them. and he’s letting the light shine through.

conclusion

as mentioned in part 1, the two books i referenced and heavily pulled from in the more enneagram-focused sections of this project (the parts where the enneagram itself is explained rather than how it applies to the turtles) were:

the wisdom of the enneagram by don richard riso & russ hudson

the road back to you by ian morgan cron & suzanne stabile

again, i don’t really know how to end this. i may not be a 1, but i have a 1 wing, so… while i don’t feel what leo feels to the same intensity, i get glimpses of it in smaller doses. it’s a lot of self-inflicted pressure, a lot of stress, and a lot of anxiety. i hope the next time someone catches themselves getting bored or irritated with the guy that this post opens a bit more empathy to him. kid’s doing his best, and a 1’s inner critic is relentless.

if i have anything more to add, i’ll include them in addendum posts and link them to this one.

we’ll be moving on over to don with the next post. if you made it all the way to the end of this post, thank you so much for reading/engaging with this wild project of mine and here: please have some brownies fresh outta the oven with a splash of vanilla ice cream, if you’d like. see you in the next one!

#tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2k3 #tmnt leo #tmnt leonardo #tmnt #;hannah's meta #;tmnt #;leonardo #;tmnt enneagram #[ i know i said raph's would probably be the longest but i might have lied... ]#[ anyway as i was revising the last paragraph of the final section the owl house finale epilogue music #started playing on my ambient music playlist and now i gotta go cry ]

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angel-and-the-serpent · 21 days

Text

For da context. @helphowdoiusethis @violet-yimlat

Anthony Jay Crowley was an atheist. That had always been true, and it would stay that way. He didn’t side with the preachers and the believers. The people who came to your door begging for you to join their church or whatnot, No. He was the type of person to believe what was logical. To believe in science, to believe in the facts and the truth. That was why he was a science teacher, after all. Crowley relied on science, in a way. The strict laws, the rules and the logic behind it all made him feel strangely comforted as if by knowing that something was keeping the world down and tethered to gravity. As if the entire idea of science was keeping him tethered as well. Crowley was a high school science teacher, specialising in Biology and physics. He was a well-respected teacher, known by the new year 9s to be the most intimidating, but by the older students, to be the best teacher in the school. Crowley didn't really know how he did it. He didn't know why the kids seemed to like him so much, why they seemed to respect him, it just kind of…happened. It was a Monday. A spring Monday, when the clouds were non-existent, and the scent of wildflowers was abundant. Crowley’s school, St Agnes School for Girls, was bustling at 9 am. Girls rushed to get to class before the last bell, and the lines at the office windows were just as long as they were any morning. “Morning Bee,” Crowley said as he walked into the staffroom, holding a black coffee and a backpack in the other. “Morning, C” Bee, a teacher of History, replied. As they scrolled through their phone. “Who’ve you got first?” Bee and Crowley were what you could call, Acquaintances. They weren’t friends, but they were coworkers and had very similar timetables and lives, so it was only normal that they gravitate towards each other, “I’ve got year 10 Bio first” Crowley answered, leaning against the kitchen countertop as he waited for his toast to pop from the toaster. Breakfast at school was always easier, and it meant he didn't have to pay for what he ate. Bee nodded, sighing “Lucky you. I have year 9s” Crowley laughed, patting Bee’s shoulder sympathetically. “Who signs up for history in year 9 though,” he said, “no offence, bee” “None taken. And honestly, it’s the group of year 9s that either do it because they have to, or cause they just want an easy topic” Crowley nodded, knowing exactly what Bee was feeling. “Yep, I've had that before'' The last bell rang, and both Bee and Crowley could hear the yelling increase from outside the door, as the students of St. Agnes ran to get to their classes. “Well,” Bee said, sighing heavily. “I better get to it” Crowley nodded, “I’ll see you later, Bee” As Bee left, Crowley turned to his phone, walking over to the small coffee table in the middle of the staffroom with his toast. Having a free period 1st was always good, especially on a Monday. He scrolled through his various apps, nothing calling out to him before his eyes lingered on a post from their brother school, Samaels Academy for Acedemic acheivers. "We are pleased to welcome our new school Librarian, Mr. A.Z Fell. Mr Fell, Previously from Wales, Will be taking the position left by Mr Pulsifer. Mr Fell will be starting in week 3, and we wish to give him a big welcome into our school. Remember, school sports day is-"Crowley's eyes skipped over the reminders, He didn't care. He wasn't required to go, and none of his students would be going so it didn't matter to him. His eyes lingered on the man in the picture, it was a picture of two people. One whom he recognised was Gabriel, the stuffy school principal of the boy's school, and the other person who he was certain was A.Z Fell. This man was Gorgeous

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lesvegas · 27 days

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Hii you do not have to respond to this if you don't want to, but do you have a good way of explaining how to play caravan? I have looked it up but still do not get it lol.. okay thank you!!

I've tried writing a big guide before but honestly the simplest way is this:

You're playing blackjack (if you don't know how to play blackjack, learn that first. if you can wrap your head around blackjack, caravan will be much simpler) with yourself 3 times. Each 'caravan' is just a different hand. But instead of the goal being to reach 21 without going over, you wanna reach 26 without going over (technically, anywhere between 21-26 is a winning hand). The simplest way to do this is with a deck of;

10s, 6s, Kings (put a King on a 10 to double the value to 20) (20+6=26)

7s, 8s, 9s (7+8+9=24)

These are the only cards you really need; numbers that easily add up to a number between 21 and 26, Kings to easily double the value of a card, and Jacks (all a Jack does is remove the card you put it on. So if your hand goes over 26, you could put a Jack on one of your cards to bring the hand back down instead of discarding the lot).

Your opponent is also trying to get 3 blackjacks caravans. You can mess with them using Kings (to make their hand go over 26) and Jacks (to discard their cards), but they can also mess with you. You win when you get 3 caravans first. There's no real rules to deck building, so stack your deck with the cards I've mentioned and you should be fine against most NPCs.

A few other notes:

I think one of the harder things to grasp besides the poorly-written rules is the controls of the game itself. It's a lot clunkier than other in-game gambling games. Take your time getting the feel of it, and make sure you learn the difference between putting a card ON another card (like a King on a 10) and simply placing the next card in the hand (like a 10 on a 6).

The deck-building is also super clunky but take your time with this, too. A good deck is the only way to win. Cards face-up on the TOP row are in your deck, cards face-up on the BOTTOM row are NOT in your deck.

You can only stack cards in numerical order one way or the other. So if you place a 7 down, then an 8 on top of it, the next card has to be higher than an 8. Or if it was the other way around, the next card would have to be lower than a 7. This can be circumvented by having many cards of the same suit; same suits can go higher or lower. (Queens can also be used to reverse the order? I think? But I've never used them because who cares I'm trying to win as fast as possible)

In the first few turns, you can discard unnecessary cards from your hand (not hands, your main hand with cards yet unplayed) without wasting a turn. I wouldn't recommend discarding later unless you really have a dogshit hand.

Lacey at the Mojave Outpost is one of the easiest NPCs to play and practice against. Ambassador Crocker and No-Bark Noonan are the hardest but hold 2000 caps. I'd say most merchants who play have reasonable difficulty *and* if you buy a bunch of stuff you can win your caps back if you're good. Keith (in Aerotech Suite 200) only bets 0 (literally none) caps if you want a really low-stakes game. Johnson Nash is a fucking BITCH because he uses a ton of face cards against you.

If you play modded fnv on pc, some recommendations:

Easy Caravan - Alters No-Bark Noonan’s deck to be impossible to lose against.

Caravan Overhaul Compilation - Features Better Caravan Limit, More Caravan Players and other smaller Caravan mods.

The Caravan Tournament - A quest mod featuring a Caravan card game tournament.

Legate Caravan Showdown - Allows you to duel Legate Lanius in a game of Caravan rather than combat.

Hope this helps <3

#fnv #caravan

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kendrixtermina · 2 years

Text

An attempt at an actually good explanation of the head types

Let the takeaway be this: Curiosity, imagination & inquisitiveness is a shared characteristic between all of them.

With some 6 it gets shut down cause they get too bogged down in anxiety or superego correctness, kinda like those really numbed-out 3s sometimes, but the natural disposition is curious & imaginative as well. I mean, how would you concoct all those worst case scenarious without at least latent imagination?

Same for a tendency to want to analyze, understand and "track" what's happening, automatically looking for patterns. Also sometimes characterized as the funny triad, though, ive met some plenty funny 9s and 8s.

Another thing to note is that its not just "logic" that lives here but speculative imagination, future planning & conceptual thinking. What is logic but imagination that is disciplined by rules?

This is especially worth keeping in mind when you consider mbti combinations - ovsly Ts will be more overtly intellectual, Fs might show the imagination side more or be drawn to humanities-related concepts such as art, sociology, psychology... - though of course, both can have both. A xSFx who is a 6 will be more 'concepty' than a 9, in that sense that's a well-balanced combo.

All three tend not be noted for their perceptiveness, but immature individuals can also share the possible weakness of thinking their noggin is god's gift to mankind. (though the 6s are less obviously braggarts to avoid being targeted - more like, "people who share my politics are smart" or "its just common sense")

The fact that scary situations can stimulate planning is kind of an interesting hint at how the capacity for imagination evolved. With all 3 you can see a tendency to 'speed up' if something unforeseen happens that distinguishes them from the other triads, though it shows somewhat differently in each of them.

Now I have no clue about this at all as I don't really pick up on that sort of thing, but another commonality you sometimes hear mentioned which sounds kinda fascinating is a tendency for the eyes sometimes not quite match the rest of the expression or a lot of the expressiveness being in the eyes generally. Like someone acting aggro or cheery but you can tell from the eyes they're inwardly freaked out, or that's how I've heard it described.

So, now that we've established the commonalities and that no single one of them is "the" learning interested type, how do you nail which one you are? For this, it pays to keep in mind both the specific thinking style as well as the temperament that typically goes with it.

Soo... what kind of information can't you get enough of?

7 - the latest new stuff that is full of cool, exciting possibilities. Novelty, technological innovation, avantgardistic art & fashion, anything exciting adventurous & cool, working on a new project or skill every couple of months. Often very good at quick thinking, improvising, and talking people into almost anything. - this is most often an extrovert and usually an active, optimistic, confident, fun-loving and dynamic but not always all that reliable or responsible person. ~ sort of like an inventor or explorer who sees the potential in things. As a thinking style, it's the most associative & open ended, considering how all the multiple frameworks available could be used to solve your problem. Quick at concocting new plans on the spot. Like a mind map or web of loosely connected concepts. Focussed on securing good outcomes, can get anxious that they're not gonna get those good things. Tends to assume they're going to win, sometimes to the point of overconfidence or denial. Tends to discard ideas that are no longer useful or entertaining them & look for ever newer & better ones.

6 - keeping up with politics & important happenings, what is going on with the people in your circle, not missing any potential dangers or important developments, tests & questions everything not easily fooled by scams, looks for the truth behind everything & its trustwortiness - most often introvert but still somewhat sociable, but extrovert is possible - character wise, can be sceptical, argumentative, and a big worrier but also likeable, perseverant, funny, brave, and good team players. - a bit like a detective or journalist, looking for truths. As a thinking style, it's systematic and context-sensitive. Information is related to relationships, morals, political contexts, power dynamics etc. and categorizing things - but not in a simplistic way, but with awareness of how categories can intersect or contradict each other. Like building a map or grid. Focussed on preventing bad outcomes, can get anxious about those bad things happening. Tends to expect a struggle, sometimes to the point of overpreparation or combativeness. Tends to be concerned with whether to adopt or resist ideas, which should be adopted & which resisted, which are "correct" or "certain".

5 - indiscriminately retains all manner of unrelated random stuff just because, for its own sake. Will obsess endlessly over and absorb every last detail about anything that personally interests them even if its something totally obscure, completely theoretical, gross/disturbing, esoteric or of no practical use. Usually very strongly introverted. Blunt, cynical, eccentric and rather sensitive in disposition, but since they're so reclusive they can tend to be known only as "that weirdo who only talks about [current obsession]" - like a collector or philosopher. As a thinking style, its about looking for contrasts, underlying principles, and to try to look at things from as much of an unbiased perspective as possible. Like a decision tree or filing cabinet. Doesn't tie themselves to particular outcomes but rather to anticipate what's going to happen & how to navigate it. Can get anxious that they can't deal with what's coming. Tends to have low expectations, sometimes to the point of being defeatist or doomerism. Rather than rely on outside ideas, try to synthesize their own version, phrasing everything in their own words.

Addendum: I find a lot of confusions come from shared traits in triads being more emphasized in some of the typical descriptions - that's how you get 9s and 5s landing on 4, 6s landing on other reactives, and 6 and 7 landing on 5.

Doesn't help that there's been this shift in the later authos to discuss mostly the temperament for 7 and 6, but you gotta dig out palmer, maitri or naranjo to learn what that actually makes them mental types, whereas with 5, the nerd stuff stayed but all the specifity was lost in regards temperament - The defeatism angle alone would sort out all the mistyped 6s and 3s real quick if it was more emphasized.

Maybe this is in part cause 6 and 7 have roughly even F/T ratio whereas 5 somewhat skews toward T, though by far not as much as 8 or 1, or as much as 4 and 2 do the reverse.

#enneagram #7w8 #7w6 #6w7 #6w5 #5w6 #5w4 #enneagram 7 #enneagram 6 #enneagram 5

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kens-double-sunglasses · 9 months

Text

Barbenheimer

Who's seeing which film? Both? Neither isn't an option.

Riddle - Oppenheimer, very serious the whole time, got one package of candy, sitting right in the front row

Trey - Both, caught Oppenheimer with Riddle (a bucket of popcorn and like, all the candy) and caught Barbie with Cater, once more with all the fixings

Cater - Barbie, dressed up for the event, got a large soda, and picks from Trey's extensive sweets collection

Ace - Barbie, pretending he didn't, but everyone knows. He sat all the way in the back and hid behind a bucket of popcorn

Deuce - Barbie and proud. He was going to sneak in snacks, but decided not to break the rules last minute. He got an aisle seat towards the middle because he got there as early as he could. If you're a barbie atendee? He probably went with you!

Leona - Was invited to both premieres, showed up late in his pyjamas to Oppenheimer, was done up to the 9s for barbie

Ruggie - broke into the barbie movie and brought his own snacks

Jack - Barbie goer and what is anyone gonna do about it? He says he want purely for his younger siblings, he mostly did, but he enjoyed himself

Azul - Hosted a movie night for both at the mostro with food and drink available for sale, it did really well

Jade - watched both while working Azul's movie night, he would've gone either way

Floyd - Brabie movie enjoyer. He saw that Oppenheimer was 3 hours and got MAD

Kalim - Went to both premieres and brought Jamil as his plus 1

Jamil - didn't want to go to either, but he had to accompany Kalim to the premieres. Kalim also forced him to walk the red carpet and was clapping and cheering the entire time

Vil - Starred as Barbie, his dad played Oppenheimer. Went to Oppenheimer because he already knew what the Barbie movie was gonna be like

Rook - Has been to every showing of both movies possible. He can identify each film by a single pixel

Epel - Went to Oppenheimer because it was the "manlier" option

Idia - Pirated both, he saw spoilers online and that sealed the not attending deal

Ortho - Went with Deuce to Barbie for sure, you were there if you went. Generally enjoyed it.

Malleus - Went to both, he barely got to either before the trailers ended, but he went and enjoyed both

Lilia - Probably knew twst Oppenheimer, went to Barbie because he was there. He looks at the casting and is shocked to find out he was played by Neige.

Silver - Went to both, slept through both, he's upset.

Sebek - Was very vocally excited to see Oppenheimer (Because Lilia's in it) and everyone's kinda avoiding him because why is he so hype about the guy who made the shmatom shbomb

Grim - Wasn't allowed in because he's a flaming cat monster

#disney twst #twst yuu #twisted wonderland

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kdinjenzen · 1 year

Note

Some popular furries for your opinions on:

Loona (Helluva Boss)

Wolf O'Donnell (Star Fox)

Fox McCloud (Star Fox)

Krystal (Star Fox)

Falco Lombardi (Star Fox)

Jon Talbain (Darkstalkers)

Wolf Link fursona (TLoZ: Twilight Princess)

Rogue the Bat (Sonic)

Isabelle (Animal Crossing)

Additionally, who are your top five favorite furries in pop culture?

Also additionally: in the vein of Link, are there any other characters you would like to see furred versions of? Personally, I have seen art of Samus as a cream colored fox and I love it!!

Loona is “A MOOD” in looks for me.

Wolf O’Donnel is MY FAV from the Star Fox series (I’m split between which accent best fits him that they’ve used though.)

Krystal from Star Fox Adventures is kinda overrated IMHO, but I do like her design.

Falco is OKAY (I like Revali and Kass better)

Jon Talbain ABSOLUTELY RULES

A Wolf Link Fursona Style is just SO COOL to me. But again, I’m the werewolf girl of tumblr.

Rouge is a “I want to steal your outfits” for me, but I love her most in SA and SA2

Isabell feels like a little sister to me and I am happy people appreciate all her hard work.

…and now onto the second part, characters I’d like to see furry versions of:

Samus is a great choice, def makes sense too cause she’s already caked with alien DNA.

Kratos from God of War.

Bayonetta.

2B, 9S, and A2 from Nier.

AND CHRIS REDFIELD SHOULDA BEEN A WEREWOLF IN RE8!

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azxremoon · 11 months

Text

𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒

what i do and don’t write for requests may contradict the type of content i write for myself.

please come to me if you have questions, concerns, or don’t understand something. i’m always happy to resolve any issues.

though i have a wp acc, i’ll be posting my writing on my fledgling ao3 under the same handle.

requests are done for fun, not obligation! they are not the primary focus in my life or my blog.

please check my pinned post for my writing status before requesting.

thirsts and suggestions are always accepted! i’d love to hear your ideas and thoughts, if you’re willing to share <3

i have no set schedule or consistency, and fics are published when they are completed.

if you don’t see a character you like on my list, feel free to ask about them!

regarding fire emblem, please specify whether the reader is the protagonist (byleth / corrin / robin) if it isn’t clear.

requesting while they’re closed or they break a rule will result in the ask itself being deleted.

PLEASE REBLOG YOUR REQUEST ONCE IT’S COMPLETED !

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 / 𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐌𝐒

code geass : lelouch vi britannia, suzaku kururugi, euphemia li britannia, jeremiah gottwald, cc.

final fantasy : cloud strife, tifa lockhart, reno, rude, tseng, sephiroth, genesis rhapsodos, angeal hewley, zack fair, noctis lucis caelum, prompto argentum, gladiolus amicitia, ignis scientia, lunafreya nox fleuret, ardyn izunia, nyx ulric.

fire emblem : corrin, chrom, robin, grima, lucina, henry, tharja, ryoma, takumi, xander, leo, camilla, azura, jakob, byleth, sothis, rhea, seteth, blue lions, golden deer, black eagles.

jojo’s bizarre adventure : jonathan joestar, dio / dio brando, joseph joestar, giorno giovanna, bruno bucciarati, leone abbacchio, guido mista, jolyne kujo, foo fighters, narciso anasui.

jujutsu kaisen : satoru gojo, yuji itadori, megumi fushiguro, nobara kugisaki, maki zenin, toge inumaki, yuta okkotsu, aoi todo.

legend of zelda : tp + botw/totk link, totk ganon, botw + totk zelda, rauru, sonia, sidon, revali, mipha.

nier : 2b, 9s, a2, brother nier, kaine.

persona 5 : akira kurusu, goro akechi, ann takamaki, ryuji sakamoto, yusuke kitagawa, “kasumi” yoshizawa, takuto maruki, sae niijima.

yu-gi-oh! : yugi muto, seto kaiba, joey wheeler, jaden yuki, jesse anderson, yubel, chazz princeton, aster phoenix.

𝐈 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄

headcanons and short drabbles only.

spoilers are a-ok!!

character x reader only.

platonic, familial, and romantic relationships are accepted, but must be specified.

alternate universes—modern, childhood, college / university, soulmate, fantasy, yandere, ask for more prior to requesting.

aus of characters inspired by specific vocaloid songs, such as cendrillon and cantarella. bonus points if it is from the evillious chronicles.

polyamorous relationships, unrequited love, various tropes.

fluff, angst, comfort fluff, hurt / comfort, hurt / no comfort.

dark content—such as major character death, yandere, etc.

𝐈 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄

oneshots (for reqs only)

readers with specific race, culture, disabilities, illnesses, or gender identity to avoid misrepresentation.

explicit n///sfw, non-con, fetishes, k///inks.

miscarriages or dark / triggering matters relating to pregnancy.

anything relating to harming oneself in any form.

drug-use.

original characters x canon.

canon x canon.

cheating (on reader, or by reader)

𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑

the reader is always gender neutral or female with ambiguous anatomy, unless stated otherwise.

reader will use she / her or they / them, but also may be written in the second person.

appearance, race, and culture are always excluded to include everyone.

the reader can be personalized by the requester, from vague personality descriptors to accessories.

the reader can be inspired by characters of other media, but i must know and be familiar of them.

accepted personalization examples are, but not limited to: a shy!reader, stand user!reader, phantom thief!reader, introverted!reader, idol!reader, reader who wears glasses, tall / short!reader.

#ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ rules

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