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lovelybrooke · 1 year

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I'm Your Sister (Platonic Yandere Ellie and Joel x reader)

A/N: This is sorta kinda a continuation of Time for School, so I suggest you read that before reading this. Please like and reblog if you enjoy. Thank you!

You haven't talked to Ellie in a while, having purposely avoided her after you were grounded by Joel. In fact, you've been avoiding both of them, too afraid to confront them and their anger. You only came out of your room in order to get food, and even then, you eat alone upstairs when you can. When you can't, Joel is forcing you to eat with them, requiring you to deal with the awkward silence since you all refuse to talk.

However, you haven't been avoiding Ellie because you were upset with her. Yeah, you wished she would've defended you when you asked to start school, instead of questioning your motives, but you don't know what you expected. You were avoiding her because of the promise you made with her. You promised you wouldn't make any friends, and while you thought it was a joke, you know she takes promises seriously, and if she found out that you didn't keep your promise, she would hold it against you forever.

So, whenever Ellie was around, you did you best to keep out of her sights, darting around corners and slamming the door to your room shut when you saw her coming. You wished you could just talk to her, but your dispute with Joel still haunts you, and you don't want to say something to her in earnest only for her to tell Joel.

Because of all this, you didn't expect Ellie to wonder into your room one day when you were home alone. Whenever Joel grounded you, it meant that you would be locked into you room until he got back, so you were rightfully nervous when you heard the door unlock, spooking you from the book you were rereading for the millionth time. Ellie tiptoed into your room, attempting to make as little noise as possible. When she noticed that you were aware of her presence, she relaxed immensely.

"Hey." She stumbled out. You didn't respond, the words stuck in your throat. Your eyes didn't leave Ellie as she went to sit by you on your bed, she eyes drooping as you shift your body away from her.

"I just wanted to um...talk to you about what happened." She rubbed the back of her neck, clearly confused on what to say. "I... just." Her voice was quiet, and you had to move closer to actually hear her. "I don't want you to hate me." She sounded on the verge of tears and was focused on her hands in her lap.

The knot in your stomach tightened and the words, sad that she felt as though you hated her. "I don't hate you." The words came out quickly as you rushed over to console her, all your previous concerned melted away as you engulf her in a big hug. She didn't hug you back, but you could feel her lean into your embrace.

"I don't hate you." You repeated, looking at her face which held a forlorn gaze. "I just want to be independent from you and Joel." You let out a deep sigh, "I want to be able to do what I want without one of you interrogating me." You let out a little laugh, hoping to calm her down a little, but it didn't.

"Why though?" She questioned, moving her head to finally look at you. Her eyes were red, tears resting on her waterline. "We just want to protect you." Tears were beginning to pour out. "I can't... we can't handle losing someone else." At this point she was no longer whispering, and her voice was teetering on a sob. "I don't know what we do without you." Her head was back on your shoulder, you hand moving to smooth out her hair. Once her breathing calmed down, you murmured your response.

"Okay." You looked out of your window, the sun beaming on your face. "I won't bring it up again." You gave up.

Ellie let out a pleased noise as she wiped her eyes. You were tired, and Ellie could sense that, suggesting that you take a nap. You didn't know how long it was, but when you woke up the sun was setting and Joel was home, noting by your unlocked door. You could hear Ellie talking to him downstairs, and you could smell the food emanating from the kitchen, your mouth watering. However, you refused to leave your room until you were told to, so you remained where you were.

"Hey kid, dinners ready!" You heard Joel yell, causing your heartrate to increase. You knew he meant that he wanted you to eat with the family. So, you reluctantly removed yourself from your bed, stumbling out of your room and into the dining room.

The food was already prepared and on the table when you arrived. Ellie was already sitting down, and Joel was reprimanding her for eating before everyone was seated. It was the first time in a while that you've all ate as a family, it was kind of nice, not having to eat in your room, alone. You still dared not speak, especially about what happened between you and Ellie this morning.

Joel kept looking at you, watching as you slowly put the food in your mouth like you were weary of it. Ellie's gaze was darting in between you and Joel, like she was trying to get him to say something. Joel's brows furrowed as he set his knife and fork down, saying your name.

"So... you 'n Ellie are talking again?" He probed with a questioning look. You swallowed the food in your mouth before answering with a awkward look.

"Yeah..." You mumbled. He let out a hum, picking his fork back up and eating a piece of meat, nodding.

"That's good." He said as he swallowed. "You guys are siblings, you better act like it." His words weren't necessarily threatening, but you couldn't help but be scared. You gave him a slow nod and looked at Ellie, however, didn't seem bothered at all.

"Yeah, we talked this morning." She nodded along to her words, "sorted everything out." that was a big overgeneralization, but you didn't protest. Joel continued to eat as Ellie talked, every once in a while, quieting down for you to intervene. She even mentioned how Joel and her could start teaching you once your punishment was over, but you declined, saying you were over the idea of school, even if that wasn't true.

Eventually the plates were clean, and you were heading up to bed. Joel kissed your forehead, wishing you a good night while Ellie gave you a quick hug before going back to cleaning dishes.

Once you were upstairs and Joel was certain you were asleep, he went over to the sink to help Ellie while she was cleaning. There was a peaceful silence between them, both of them quickly falling into a routine of Ellie washing and Joel drying.

"They weren't trying to make you mad." Ellie suddenly spoke. Joel looked confused, prompting her to continue, "about school." Joel let out a huff, beginning to grip the dish in his hands until his knuckles went numb at the mention of school.

'I know." Was all he said. Ellie's interrogating look made him feel small. "I'm just scared." His force was small as well, afraid of the large meaning behind those words.

"I am too." Ellie gave him an understanding look, which made Joel feel better, but he couldn't help but think the worst. He imagined you leaving him for some kids you barely even knew. He imagined you getting hurt and him not being there to protect you. He imagined those no-good kids filling your heads with lies about him. About how he was dangerous, about how he hurt people, and how you would be better without him. Joel's stomach sank at the thoughts, the need to keep you away from the world and all its dangers increasing, but Ellie broke him out of his thoughts before he could do anything.

"But that's why we're here, right?" She smiled at him; face illuminated by the light above. "To protect them." He nodded.

"Yeah." He nodded again. "Yeah, to protect them."

The dishes were all cleaned and put away, Joel saying goodnight to Ellie as she went to bed. Joel walked past your door, opening it slowly and looking at your sleeping form. You were tranquil, you breath rising and falling in a calm rhythm. He slowly walked in closer to get a better look at you. He could only see a small portion of your face, the darkness enveloping you. Moments like this made him feel bad for all that he's done to you, but those feelings were washed away by the feeling of protectiveness. He had to protect you, protect this feeling. He knew lying to you was wrong, but if it meant keeping you safe then he would do it hundreds of times more.

Once he was sure you were okay, he went to his room to head to bed. Never once did regret lying to you. Never once did he regret keeping you locked up into your room. Never once did he regret telling Ellie about your new friends, fueling her to guilt you into forgetting about school. Because he knew what was best for you, and sometimes, it takes not telling the truth to get you to understand that.

A/N: this was meant to be Ellie focused but I'm not good at writing her, sorry. I will try to write something that focuses on her and readers relationship though, don't worry, it just might take me a while.

#yandere x reader #soft yandere #platonic yandere #yandere the last of us #the last of us x reader #yandere joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x platonic!reader #platonic joel miller #yandere ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #fanfiction #fanfic #yandere #yandere fanfiction #x reader

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disgracefulthings · 3 months

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Someone has asked me to recommend some fics, I don't think this is what they meant, but here is a list of my favorite fanfiction I have read over the years

Harry Potter

Text Talk

merlywhirls

Summary:

Sirius is in boarding school, Remus is in hospital, and they don't know each other until Sirius texts the wrong number.

My thoughts: I don't know if there is a wolfstar shipper who hasn't read this story, but it is amazing. A majority of the story is told through text messages, which is a real creative choice and I absolutely believed the author pulled it off!

I Know Not, and I Cannot Know; Yet I Live and I Love

billowsandsmoke

Summary:

Severus Snape has his emotions in check. He knows that he experiences anger and self-loathing and a bitter yearning, and that he rarely deviates from that spectrum… Until the first-year Luna Lovegood arrives to his class wearing a wreath of baby’s breath. Over the next six years, an odd friendship grows between the two, and Snape is not sure how he feels about any of it.

My thoughts: A fanfiction that explores the relationship between a student and a teacher that doesn't make it romantic??? Hallelujah, never thought I would see the day. Not gonna lie, this is my favorite fanfiction of all time. While I like Snape in the original story, he doesn't develop as a character, like, at all. Which is why I can see why people don't like him, but this story gives him some development, and his relationship with Luna is absolutely heartwarming. And to those fans who think Harry got over his abuse of Snape too fast, I recommend this to you. Not sure you know, but Snape fucking dies in the book (spoilers, I know), and the author makes sure to give Harry some development too. Bring tissues, because you're gonna cry.

The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation

we'll get him falling for a stranger (or a catfish)

sweetlolixo

Summary:

Lan Wangji: Yingying? Lan Wangji: Are you busy with class? Lan Wangji: Won’t disturb you if that’s the case. Lan Wangji: (´• ω •`) Wei Ying wants to cry. What jock uses kaomojis? Ever? Or, Wei Ying is hired by a client to catfish Lan Wangji online, as a hot girl, for revenge. Except, Lan Wangji is not the playboy jock he expected...

My thoughts: This is a pure fluffy and hilarious story. If you like it when characters face consequences for their actions, then probably skip this because people do a whole lotta shit and completely get away with it (except Su She, but fuck Su She)

how to fall in love with a catfish: a guide by wei wuxian (disaster rat)

bwyn, Yuisaki

Summary:

A new plan hatches in Wei Wuxian’s head. If this nocturnal, bottom-feeding, slimy, invasive mudcat posing as a beautiful actor thinks he can sway Wei Wuxian with animal pictures and a sob story and an unbelievably stilted way of texting with still no dick pictures in the first five minutes of conversation, he has another thing coming. Wei Wuxian’s got it, alright, he has this in the fucking bag. Wei Wuxian plots to expose a catfish using strategic memes and turtle pictures while wiggling his way out of family dinner. Lan Wangji just wants companions.

My thoughts: Another catfishing story?!?! Except not really because Wei Wuxian has issues. Not gonna lie, I've only read this once, but god damn, did it destroy me. I don't reread it because I don't like it, but because I'm afraid of feeling all those emotions again. You know how I said the last story has no consequences, well this one has all of them. Watch Wei Wuxian as he slowly destroys his life, before finally putting himself back together and allowing himself to accept love. Another story you will need tissues for.

A Corpse Called By Name

jaemyun

Summary:

A continuation of zombie drabble! She loses her brother in a hoard of the undead. She finds a corpse wearing his face in a convenience store. The corpse calls her name.

My thoughts: I hate zombie movies, but I am absolutely fine with zombie fics. The story starts like how all good Wei Wuxian stories start: with him fucking dying. Watch a dead man build a family and slowing piece himself back together (metaphorically, he isn't falling apart due to decay)

Scum Villain Self Saving System

Bros before... well everything I guess

Icannotthinkofapenname

Summary:

Shen Yuan tried not to think of his original family too often, his parents, his brothers, and sister… Nope. Done with that train of thought. He’s Shen Qingqiu now. This was a new life, and he has a new family to look after. Sometimes a family consists of 12 martial sibilings and a whole lot of disciples. Just a buncha fluff of Shen Qingqiu, Shang Qinghua, their martial sibilings and the kids. Shenanigans ensue.

My thoughts: Another purely fluffy fic, though I have to mention something I really like about it. You see, I have a bit of a pet peeve when canon divergence fanfiction basically follow all of the important plot points from the original story. This story does that, but it doesn't do the scenes in full and only really mentions that it happened, and I think it's great. I don't need to read about Sha Hualing's demon invasion for the 50th time, let's move on and get to the things that matter! Like Shang Qinghua in wedding robes. Also there's a lot of platonic cumplane, which I could never get enough of.

Recovery

Moonsheen

Summary:

Luo Binghe returns to Cang Qiong Mountain with a grievously injured Shen Qingqiu. The trouble is, it's the wrong Shen Qingqiu. AKA The original Shen Qingqiu gets a happy ending, whether he likes it or not.

My thoughts: There aren't many fanfictions I have found that depict Shen Jiu in all his cruel glory. People usually sand him down, like, 'oh, he didn't actually give Luo Binghe his cultivation notebook, that was Ming Fan', or, 'he was more neglectful than monstrous'. I don't mind these interpretations of Shen Jiu, but I feel like stories are more rewarding when you try to heal the man at his scummiest. Recovery is a multi part serious that slowly shows Shen Jiu recover (see what I did there??) from what Bingge has done to him, while also finally finding happiness with Yue Qingyuan.

We Are Not Wise

Boomchick, Suzoomie

Summary:

When Shen Qingqiu drew Shen Yuan’s soul sword, it felt like being burned from the inside out. The fire wasn’t cruel, but it was still fire—hot and destructive, searing the softest pieces of him. When Binghe’s fingers touch the hilt, he is ready for pain. Transmigrated into a version of Proud Immortal Demon Way where cultivators manifest their own souls into spiritual weapons, Shen Yuan finds himself sort of kind of…accidentally blackmailing Shen Qingqiu into taking him on as a disciple before Luo Binghe joins the sect. That should give Shen Yuan plenty of opportunities to make sure nothing goes wrong for his favorite protagonist, right? RIGHT!? A story of twists, turns, hope, despair, and soul swords. Written for the Bingqiu Reverse Minibang 2023, illustrated and conceptualized by the incredible Suzu!

My thoughts: The last fic has Shen Jiu healing arc, this one has his father arc. Another story you need tissues for, and for multiple chapters, my god is it hard to read and cry at the same time. Another really good premise that was knocked out of the park by the authors.

pride is not the word I'm looking for

Tossawary

Summary:

Shang Qinghua goes to take a self-indulgent peek at his baby protagonist son and gets a kick to the shrivelled heart for his troubles. He gave up on changing the story years ago! Yet he finds himself helping his protagonist son's adoptive mother anyway. Just this one change won't matter too much, right? One little change leads to more. Shang Qinghua never meant to care, but he becomes invested in making sure that his new family survives the looming plot. With the changes to the world cascading around him, with his position as a traitor pulling him between his sect and a certain ice demon, and with the protagonist growing up so quickly, how is one displaced author meant to ensure that everything turns out all right? A Pre-Canon to Canon Divergence story.

My thoughts: I'm gonna be honest, this is the only story on here that I have not finished. I struggle with reading fics that are 400k words long (and by struggle I mean I don't finish them), but this is a story I come back to and reread (and attempt to finish), mostly for one arc. There is a part of the story where Shang Qinghua help look for Luo Jiahui's (Luo Binghe's mom) missing sister, and it is without a doubt the best arc I have ever read in fanfiction. If you are like me and don't like long fanfiction, I still recommend reading this story at least up to that arc, you wont regret it. I also have to say this is my favorite interpretation of Luo Binghe's mom.

Servant to a Different King

Tossawary

Summary:

As the head disciple of An Ding Peak, Shang Qinghua threw the plot out the window and abandoned his sect, and now he enjoys a luxurious life as Tianlang-Jun and Su Xiyan's most treasured and trusted advisor, as the happy couple rules over the Demon Realm together with iron fists. He has everything a transmigrator could want. Unfortunately, there's only so long that the Imperial Advisor can continue to avoid another of Tianlang-Jun's favorite underlings: Mobei-Jun, the new Northern King. An attempt on Shang Qinghua's life inside the Underground Palace itself forces him back into the company of the demon who was once destined to kill his character - and who also once promised to kill him if they ever met again.

My thoughts: Another Tossawary story! This time Shang Qinghua saves Luo Binghe's mom (wait didn't that happen in the last one?) and dad (ok, so it's different). A Moshang focus story where Shang Qinghua tries to avoid having an awkward (and possibly deadly) conversation with Mobei-Jun, which becomes an impossible task because he is now his personal guard. I love the cocenpt of having Shang Qinghua work under Tianlang-Jun, and the interactions between those two are always hilarious.

YuGiOh

An Apocalypse Means Nothing Because You Are The World In Which I Live

sitabethel

Summary:

When an old tomb-keeper steals the Millennium Tome in order to raise the dead, the gods are forced to send Atem back to the world of the living to end the crisis; however, Bakura doesn't trust him to save Marik, so the thief finds his own way back. Meanwhile, the goddess Isis makes a deal with a certain dark entity, offering him a soul in exchange for his services.

My thoughts: Ok, it's been many years since I have last read this story, but I still have to add it to my recommendations because of how batshit insane it is. This is a zombie apocalypses story taking place in yugioh, the story where everything is solved by card games. Do you know how they stop the zombie outbreak? CARD GAMES! Like holy shit, this story is crazy, but it's also on brand. I used to be into thiefshipping and other yugioh ships, so if you're like that then I definitely recommend this one.

Annnddd those are my recommendations. Feel free to judge my taste, but I will unapologetically love these stories till the day I die.

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unlikelysaintdelele · 2 months

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some interesting things i've noted during my ACOTAR reread Pt. 2

*SPOILER WARNING for those who haven’t completed the series*

I finished ACOTAR a few weeks ago but I haven't gotten the chance to transfer my notes until now. Once again, names have been color-coded!

Feyre couldn’t keep her mouth shut only around Rhys. It’s almost like her true self comes out around him.

Anytime Feyre calls on some strength, the image of Nesta comes to mind. She sees Nesta as strong and admires her for that.

A queen without a throne

Are tattooed bargains a night court specialty? I was listening through the graphic audio, as a reminder, so some things slip through.

Pearls in Nesta’s hair. It makes me think of the pearl jewelry Elain later receives from Lucien. I think pearl is meant to represent luxury, and it seems to complement their features.

Elain is the only one with their father’s eyes and I always found it interesting. How similar is Elain to her father? Her father favored her, but I think that’s only because Nesta was cold and Feyre was busy.

Warrior beast vs half-wild beast, Tamlin and Feyre bonding for being unrefined (Disney Beauty and the Beast reference?)

“Don’t ever disobey me again” is honestly not the vibe, Tictac.

I don’t like knowing Tamlin’s anger is on a tight leash with Feyre. He’s angry at her. It feels overprotective in such a suffocating way.

“There you are, I’ve been looking for you.” SOB

The most beautiful man she’s ever seen

Blue eyes so deep they were violet

They just stared at each other! As if in a daze!

Night pressed in closer around him, smiling

Molded from the night itself, star-kissed night

I have a random “until dawn” note… idk

Cauldron boil me (double, double, toil and trouble… sorry, random silly thought)

Elain began learning to grow veggies! Reminder, the soil at the cottage was crap, it couldn't sustain the veggies. Elain could barely grow flowers. People keep forgetting that Feyre was their only access to nourishment because there was no other choice. Sweet Elain gets so much hate for not using her gardening skills to help, but it was set up so that she couldn't.

Nesta’s iron-will allowed her to resist glamour! I want more on Nesta’s strength. This is one of many reasons why I’ve been a Nesta stan since day one. I know she was cruel but we’re told why in book one. She wanted her father to do something, anything: be a father and care for them. I’m not saying it was any excuse to be cruel, but they were in a shitty situation and she showed her love for her family in other ways. Being willing to lay down her life for Elain? Going after Feyre even knowing it was risky? Asking to be taught to paint? She loves her sisters, she just shows it differently.

Heart of Stone was mentioned for a second time! hehe

Wyyyyyyyyrrrrmmmmmm. I’m a fan of giant worms (Dune, Star Wars). Fun fact about me: I went through a short phase where I just kept writing about worms.

Feyre deems Elain as stronger for being hopeful. She sees so much strength in her sisters and admires them for their differences.

Love Nesta! More Nesta love. She wondered what a woman might do with a fortune and a name. She wanted to travel! She wanted that independence! Pre-war Nesta hurts to experience. She’s opening up now that she’s safe socioeconomically and physically. It makes me wonder what else would have begun to heal if she got more of that peace and security.

Rhys: because I’m tired and lonely. The things he does and willingly puts himself through to protect his court and anyone else he can spare. Love his complexity.

(apparently there's a character limit for each block of text so here's a lil divider)

Honestly? I was vibing with the Tamlin romance, it was chill. The bite was nice. UNTIL Rhys appeared. Timtam just seems so stale in comparison. The chemistry is immediate between Rhys and Feyre, the tension is palpable. I’m still not over how Feyre chose Tampon over Lucien. why would I pick someone so clumsy with affection and who isn’t around nearly as much as the sassy redhead who bickers with me like an old friend? Rhys > Lucien > Tamlin is the order at the moment, and the order will stay until I have to consider the other boys (wait for me batboys).

Tamlin’s dad was Amarantha’s friend! They fought together in the war. Rhys’ father killed Tamlin’s, so Amarantha took Rhys in as a lover as punishment. Amarantha is so greedy honestly, and it's so gross. She wants Tamlin and Rhys but the only reason Tamlin hasn’t been forced like Rhys is that she wants to be chosen, she wants him to come to her willingly

Even in their last moments together, Rhys and Feyre are honest with each other. Honest in a way I've never seen her with Tamlin.

Very excited to begin ACOMAF, my fave book of the series.

#sjm #sjmaas #elain archeron #acotar #nesta archeron #rhysand #rhys acotar #tamlin #tamlin acotar #lucien vanserra #lucien acotar #elain acotar #nesta acotar #acotar reread #pro nesta #pro elain #pro elain archeron #pro nesta archeron

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werewolfnightwalker · 5 months

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Author!Dabi; Part Two

Part One here!

Dabi pretended to forget about the book after a while. Hawks never really brought it up again, though Dabi caught him reading it every now and then.

Sometimes he called Dabi "Raven," to which Dabi replied, "Songbird," but that was it. He never confirmed or denied that it was his book, that he wrote, that contained dozens of poems that were dedicated to his hero. He didn't want to, nor did he need to, so he didn't say anything when he spotted even more books by T. T. Arrow show up on Hawks' bookshelf.

He did watch, though. Watched as the first book- Starless Night and Other Poems- was read again, and again, and again. Dabi watched the spine crack, the page corners get dog-eared, the dustcover begin to tear at the edges.

All from repeated rereads.

"Read any good books lately?" He asked Hawks casually as he saw the hero glancing at the worn tome again.

Hawks hummed, smiling to himself. "Yeah, been thinking about rereading my favorite, though."

His favorite. Not even the five stars and essay-length, raving reviews from critics gave Dabi the same warm, fluttery feeling as that simple statement.

Finally, on a rainy afternoon that had him cooped up in Hawks' apartment while the hero was napping, Dabi got up and approached the bookshelf. He tipped the book towards himself with a finger and pulled it out of its place, carrying it with both hands back to the couch.

He retook his seat and flipped it open, searching the front page for… something. A sign, maybe. A reason, an explanation as to why it was Hawks' favorite.

The pages whispered against each other as he turned to the first poem; Mountainside of Embers was the title. His eyes completely passed over the printed words, so nearly packed into their stanzas, as they zeroed in on the messy scrawls along the sides.

"I'm so sorry." It was written in Hawks' slanted, curly handwriting, next to the paragraph lamenting how hard it was to breathe with lungs full of ash.

"I would have dug you out of the ashes and carried you home." Was scribbled at the end, that compared the mountainside to a graveyard for a single child.

Dabi flipped to another poem quickly; Sleepyhead.

"I wouldn't have left your side." Hawks' pen strokes promised next to the story of a sleeping, yet lonely boy.

"And he woke alone, so alone. Second, he thought of hunger, but firstly thought of home."

The whole line was highlighted, underlined, with a scrawled note beside it: "Come home with me!"

That fluttering back in his stomach, Dabi turned the pages with trembling fingers. Poem after poem was highlighted, underlined, scribbled, and doodled by. Notes and comments filled the margins, filled Dabi's vision and chest.

He turned to the first poem he'd written for Hawks, Origami Butterflies, and quickly scanned to one of the middle stanzas:

"Take my sharp edges and fold me together. Make me something beautiful, something that lasts forever. Tuck me safe into your pocket, Into your heart, into your bag, or your locket. Cradle me in work-worn hands, Promise never to let go again."

Next to it, in red ink and in all capital letters, Hawks wrote, "I PROMISE!"

Swallowing against the tightness in his throat now, Dabi looked through a few more before he finally dared himself to look at their poem, Cage of Bone.

The first page was blank.

As was the second.

The third page, where the story of the raven and the songbird ended, only had a single note by the final stanza:

"Begging forgiveness, as towards dawn they flew, The raven sobbed, "I love you, I love you, I love you.""

The poem ended there, in black, printed ink. But the note, written in blue, added on:

"The song bird settled into raven's chest, into his cage, into his nest, And began to sing into the sunrise, "It's alright, raven, dry your eyes. I am swift, and I am strong, And it was always you who heard my song. My wings do ache, my back is sore, So I will rest with you a little more.

Don't weep, dear raven, for you see, When I'm in here, I am free. I will stay in this cage of bone, So you and I are not alone.

Be my wings, and I'll be your heart, Because from you, dear raven, I wish never to part. So you start the song, and I take my cue, To sing on for forever, "I love you, I love you, I love you, too.""

Dabi closed the book like it would fall apart in his hands, carrying back to the shelf and slotting it into its place with the reverence due a holy scripture.

Wiping the blood from his cheeks, he headed for the bedroom, to do just as his songbird, his heart, had said.

He never fully figured out why it was Hawks' favorite book. But when he looked down at his hero, asleep, his head on Dabi's chest, he realized he didn't need to.

Not when the sound of their heartbeats, the sound of their breathing, the sound of Hawks' wings fluttering and the sheets shuffling and bloody tears pattering off Dabi's chin-

Not when they made a symphony, a song, all their own, that sang more than a raven and songbird ever could.

End.

#conans writing #dabihawks #dabi #hawks #keigo takami #touya todoroki #mha dabi #toukei #mha hawks #bnha hawks #bnha dabi #long post #poetry

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itslikeaspaceship · 1 year

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So the “Joel braiding Ellie’s hair” thing has me in an actual chokehold. And yeah. The result is this:

Joel was reading when Ellie came into the living room. He’d been there for the last couple hours, feet propped up on the coffee table as he passed the time. It was one of those slower days in Jackson. One where the windows were cracked, and the spring air was enough to keep the house cool.

Usually on days like this, Ellie would go to the stables, spend a few hours riding Shimmer, before coming home and curling up next to Joel, begging him to read her the new space book she’d found.

Joel please, please, please

After to much begging and not enough arguing, Joel would finally give in.

Alright alright, shut your trap and give it to me

This was routine, familiar, that’s why today was so odd to him.

Ellie hadn’t left the house, didn’t even leave her room. She’d been quiet, secluded, and she hadn’t even said hello, making him figure it must have been a bad night. The dad part of him begged him to run upstairs and scoop her up, a weak attempt at taking away all of her pain. But the Joel part of him knew better, and so he waited. Rereading the same five sentences over and over again as he tried and failed to focus.

Finally one page turn later, he just decided to put the book aside altogether, sighing as the small thud echoed in his ear. He didn’t like days like this. Days where Ellie wasn’t, Ellie.

“Joel.” He turned his head at the sound of his name.

Ellie was standing in the doorway, every part of her blocked out by the semi-darkness the house was in. He smiled at her dark figure, waiting patiently for her to come out.

“Yes baby.” He spoke gently, reaching out his hand so she would walk forward. When she got closer he noticed those deer-in-a-headlight eyes and the small build-up of tears that was beginning to show itself on her cheeks. A further indication that Ellie, wasn’t Ellie,

“What do you need honey?” He asked as she sat down, hand so small and fragile in his. She just shrugged her shoulders, keeping her eyes glued to the thumb that was grazing her knuckles.

“Well.” He said, trying to think of absolutely anything that could calm her racing mind. “How about, how bout I braid your hair?” His heart thumped in his chest as her head shot up. “Huh.”

He’d been embarrassed to admit it, but he’d gone to Maria for help. It’d been so long since he’d had a daughter, that some of his dad mojo got lost amongst the chaos.

Maria i-do you happen to know um, how to-how to braid hair?

He’d been so so nervous to ask, thinking she’d sit there and laugh in his face. But instead she just smiled.

Of course, I can teach you if you want

I’d like that

And so the last couple weeks, every day after patrol (because after an incident with Ellie Joel just didn’t work night patrols anymore.) he’d go over to Maria’s, and she’d show him how to do different braids. It was something he really wasn’t sure he’d ever get the excuse to use on her, until today came along.

“Ellie.” She was long gone for a minute, mind some where else, it made her jerk when he touched her face to pull her back to him. “Do you want me to?”

“I don’t, um-” He watched her hold back a sob and so he took it upon himself to make the decision for her.

“C’mere baby.” He pulled her hand to make her stand and guided him in front of her, letting her sit down on his legs. He adjusted himself so he was sitting up more, his feet falling off the coffee table as Ellie lightly tapped her heels against him.

“I’m gonna take your hair down.” He pulled out her hair tie, placing it on his wrist as he brushed his fingers through her hair. He was oh so gentle, making sure not to pull to hard. Ellie typically was very sensitive on days like these, and the smallest wrong move could make her crawl all the way back to square one. He despised square one.

His plan was just to do a simple braid, nothing that caused a bunch of moving around or head turning. She didn’t need that, she just needed him.

Her hands fell down to his jeans as he picked up his three strands, lightly combing through them as he folded each piece over. “You wanna talk about it?”

“No.” She whispered, inhaling a shaky breath.

He smiled gently, letting his thumb rest at the base of her neck for a moment. “Okay then baby girl, we wont talk about it.”

He tied off her braid when he was finished, patting her shoulders to indicate he was done. Almost immediately she fell back against him, letting her neck settle into the crook of his. “You’re warm.” She whispered, closing her eyes.

He chuckled. He knows he’s warm, she says that a lot when she’s tired. She also refuses a blanket when she’s laying on him, but that’s a story for another time.

“Thanks kiddo.” She responded with a nuzzle to his neck, her nose rubbing against his scruff. He came to the conclusion that she definitely had a bad night, one that involved nothing but nightmares and staring at the ceiling. He estimated about five minutes and she’d be snoring, and he also guessed he was going to be here for a long while. Cause there was no way in hell he was ever going to move.

“Want me to read kiddo?”

“No.” She said again, grabbing his wrists to wrap them around her body. “Just want you.”

He squeezed her closer, lightly kissing the back of her head. “Well you got me baby girl.” He said, placing another kiss to her temple. “And I’m not going nowhere.”

#ellie williams #joel and ellie #joel miller #the last of us #tlou #I love them more then anything in the whole world

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cerealandchoccymilk · 1 year

Text

Trigun Bookclub: Trigun Vol.1, Chapter #02

previous | all | next

Continuation of my Trigun annotation for the book club. I'm doing a deep-read of the Japanese original print (reread) and Overhaul 1.0 (first read) side-by-side, and writing down everything I notice from small details, version differences, translation differences, etc. (and being gay about the characters <3 always important)

Here are the beloved non-analysis sillies...

And the rest is under the cut. read my notes boy!!

[link for if the images aren't in horizontal rows]

The second page has an error - 悪夢 was probably misread as 悪魔 ("happen" and "awaken" are also the same kanji). It should be "Then, the nightmare occurred." It's really cool that this still works really well considering...y'know (not saying for the first-time readers ;) )

I just love how that drawing of Vash is so cool and serious...

...and then you turn the page and he's in the most pathetic cunty pussy-out pose you've ever seen. Easily one of my favorite panels. Also made a math question for funsies. sorry to anyone who got high school flashbacks, but I absolutely loved trigonometry lmao. I could do this forever.

A little pun(?) that may or may not be intentional - In Japanese, someone with a bounty on their head is called 賞金首, lit. "bounty neck" ("neck" sometimes signifies the entire head). The locals call out for the bounty-neck right as Vash hurt his neck lol

I love how creepy Vash moves sometimes. absolute cryptid

This is entirely a Japanese-only detail, but I really loved how Vash said バヤイ (bayai) in the sobbing in French line, because my mom also says that instead of 場合 (baai) when she's being silly lmao. Also, it's notable that in Japanese, Vash says フランセ語 ("Francé-go," where "go" is the suffix for languages) which may be either another miles->iles/double-dollar situation, or just him speaking silly like バヤイ.

Also, the line after that would more accurately be "How am I supposed to deal with all these locals?"

Here, the "Really?" is actually Meryl saying something like "I'll give you a hint."

Meryl tends to be the one responsible for the braincell in fanworks but it's important to remember that she absolutely is dumb too (affectionate).

I'm so glad I wrote that reminder about Meryl's speech, but I don't think I'll be able to do it justice here when I have so much more to talk about. I'll have to write another post later, so I'll link it when it's done. The gist is that she talks like a stereotypical high-class anime girl, and the trope is from how a similar demographic in Meiji-era Japan actually spoke.

The boy's pussy faces the world yet again. I love all the faces he makes!! look at him!!!!!!!!!!! he's so cute

The text on the board here was very messy and squished, but it says something like "Vash the Stampede Absolute Capture Task Force Headquarters." Honestly don't know how to fit all that into the board though so uh good luck on that for 2.0... Also dear god Vash has so much energy... He's just been running for 3 hours straight...!!

Fun fact: the equivalent idiom to "fight fire with fire" in Japanese is "use poison on poison."

Love how Nebraska is just like "no we didn't jailbreak, we just let ourselves out :/"

Translation error for Milly and the chairman - Milly is saying "Why do things keep getting worse and worse!?" and the chairman is mumbling "What's the deal with you two..."

Showing some love for his pretty pretty eyes..........(gives him so many smooches in my head)("i can imagine anything" image)(can't add it because i reached the 30 image limit)

The "Freeze!" is actually untranslated, just re-typed to match the surrounding font. Also, that panel is the first time Vash's antennae is shown bent!! It goes back up immediately after that though.

Fun fact #2. Vash says ara ara. if you even care.

This line never fails to hit me hard. They're all desperate mothers and sisters, and they're taking on the bad role because nothing's more important than their dear children. (reminds me of a certain someone...)

I've seen someone mention this before, but Trimax definitely adjusted the number of plants. Fifty!?!? Also, in Japanese, "plants" and "died" were in quotations.

I love the gun pull in the right panel. Vash obviously definitely doesn't intend on shooting, but is rather showing off his skill and resolve as an intimidation tactic to throw the girls off-guard.

God this entire spread is just so RAW.... (here's the post that's mentioned in blue. it just reminded me)

Some more hypes and sillies. The impact that "KISS MY ASS!!" had on my first read was phenomenal!! It's so silly!! and cool!!!

And then there's this!! Another favorite part of mine. Vash's antennae are bent again! They kind of alternate between straight and bent from here.

The green writing about the onomatopoea are more of just a translation note rather than a suggestion. I can't think of any good beckoning noises in English :V

And finally, Milly calls "Mr. Bomb" "Bomb-kun" in Japanese which I think yall would enjoy lol. And happy strangling her saturday tuesday.

The Japanese version of the annotations are in the reblogs, if anyone wants them.

I have Chapter #03 mostly ready, so I'll probably post it tomorrow morning and try to speedrun the rest of the chapters because this is taking longer than I expected!! God there's just so much to say!! (Also gotta remember to write about Meryl's speech!!)

And thank yall so much for the feedback on the Chapters #00-01 post!! I didn't know so many people were interested in such small details!! Love (and peace) yall 🫶🤞

#bing bing bauuuu bam bam bada bam baba bom bom bauuuuuuuuu (wh- wh- wh- wh- what's going on? on?) du du dududu dudu du du dududu d #trigunbookclub #trigun annotation #trigun #trigun manga

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stars-and-birds · 10 months

Text

guess who just finished harrow the ninth (i’m gonna kms)

AHHHHHHDHSJNSJSHGWJSJHEBSUHSBE

anyway here are my chronological thoughts from earlier

god. rereading parts of the book, you can see she almost never says ortus/gideon’s name aloud. jesus. tasmyn muir u are insane

i have no caption i just love gideon

hot

THEM. god.

all these characters are so fun to read about. i’m glad we got to see more of abigail this book

PRO NOOOO

something about harrow having no one growing up but then have all these people willing to risk their lives again to exorcise a ghost from her body is just. goddamn.

OH GOD MAGNUS

one thing about gideon nav is she will be injured and in a foreign body and alone on a god’s spaceship-house and still keep a kill count

something something love triangle

oh this is so juicy

SHE KEPT THE SUNGLASSES. (not to sound like a broken record but. god.)

oh. ow

i am going to cry on this fucking train

absolutely amazing how this book can make me go from internally sobbing to cackling

oh shit. ortus. no don’t die dude. (he was growing on me. and he means so much to harrow)

quick break to say that i noticed anastasia’s cav was named samael novenary, and wasn’t that the name of the chain or whatever that harrow nova had?

oh???? who is this????

MATTHIAS NONUIS????

okay not to bring up toh but the sleeper saying “i killed wizard’s filth like you all my life” is giving philip wittebane idk (also makes me think that the sleeper is maybe someone from before the ressurection?)

god, the way harrow thinks of gideon even when she’s not there, how she’d act, what she’d say…

LMFAO great callback

i think i forgot to post this but btw when corona came back i grinned so hard i missed her sm

oh no. noooooo.

abigail saying she feels responsible for harrow is sO—

god this is all too much i’m gonna cry

commander wake— who’s that again? the dude from the blood of eden? or someone else?

what the FUCK is going on?? mercy was working for wake??? huh????

gideons mom is WAKE?! (not confirmed yet but. that’s what i’m getting. right? bc it was nineteen years ago??)

“the woman i was pretty sure was actually my mother—wearing the body of a woman i’d had a crush on, who in turn had been wearing the identity of a woman she’d murdered, until i fell on a spike so that my boss could kill her—craned her head around in her bonds” well. that’s one hell of a sentence.

oh my god. oh my god.

ALECTO?????????

OH ALECTO IS HARROWS FREEZER MEAT GIRLFRIEND

wait is she???? i’m confused

oh. god is dead. holy fuck

oh. god is no longer dead. what the fuck

how the hell do you even pronounce pyrrah dve

does gideon have three fathers (god gideon the prequel and pyrrah dve fucking apparently)

IS IANTHE DEAD

IS GIDEON DEAD

IS HARROW DEAD?!???

okay okay whoever that is in the epilogue (who i’m guessing is nona) is being cared for by judith corona and cam right??

WHY DOES IT ONLY SAY GIDEON WILL RETURN HARROWS NOT DEAD RIGHT

SHHHHEJSBAKMS

#esme reads #the locked tomb

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sassymajesty · 4 months

Note

wow, lota of books! How do you choose what to read next? Any recent books that you'd recomend?

I HAVE A PROBLEM 😫😫😫😫😫 i'm a mood reader, i guess. so i'll often start a book and go "ooooo what an interesting book too bad the stars haven't aligned for me to dive into this right now"

i use goodreads both to keep track of what i read but also books that catch my attention, and i usually have a handful of books noted down that i want to get to next (then again, it depends on the stars). when i finish a book, i check my "currently reading" collection on my kindle and if nothing there tickles my fancy, i'll spend a few hours browsing my "want to read" bookshelf on goodreads

and i do have recommendations!!

babel, by r.f. kuang: it shot up to my favorite books list while i was halfway through it. it's a love-hate letter to academia, it talks about the dangers of colonialism, what's lost in translation, made me fall in love with linguistics. it's a book i want to reread over and over because i know i'll find something else in it each time i do

satisfaction guaranteed, by karelia stetz-waters: a sapphic romcom that i cherish so much. it's opposites attract, sapphics working in a sex shop. it's a nice light read

11/22/63, by stephen king: i started reading this because oh it's an alternative history time travel book how fun, but then ended up sobbing with the most wonderful love story i've read in a while

i'm glad my mom died, by jennette mccurdy: it's heartbreaking and incredible and it's one of those books that stick with you for a long time

project hail mary, by andy weir: my review on goodreads was "spent half of it crying because i got too attached to a little baby alien with five arms who speaks in songs. wouldn't have it any other way."

#anon #💌

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youritalianbookpal · 5 months

Text

Top 10 books for 2023

I tried to give this some order but I am not the most organized being alive. I am proud of having read 49 books, and I take it as a symbol of the fact that I have finally been able, in the past few years, to go back to reading. My love for books and words got me through hard times, and now that I'm doing better and I can make more time for myself, I'm glad I can dedicate myself to this.

A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara

Most beautiful and haunting book I've ever read. Kind of hope no book will ever hurt me like this ever again. I loved it but at the same time I had to talk to my therapist best friend multiple times about this because the damage it could have done to me...

Still. Most beautiful book of the year.

2. Beautiful World Where Are You by Sally Rooney

Sally Rooney gets me in ways I'm not sure I want people I know to get me, let alone a random book I pick up because I liked Normal People like three years ago.

3. Palestinian Trilogy by Mahmoud Darwish

Anthology made up by Journal of an Ordinary Grief (1973), Memory of Forgetfullness (1987), and In the Presence of Absence (2009). It's one of the most poetic and heartbreaking books I've ever read, and one of the books I have been recommending since I finished it in early 2023.

4. Ghosts by Dolly Aderton

Dolly Alderton also gets me in ways I'd rather perople not get me, and she makes me laugh a lot. And cry.

5. The Beautiful Ones by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

Silvia Moreno-Garcia could write a grocery's list and I would read it and love it.

6. Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen

Technically a reread, but this was my favorite book at 17 and I'm glad it still is as beautiful as I remember.

7. The Wicked King by Holly Black

I technically rated Queen of Nothing higher than Wicked King but... I think this is more dramatic and iconic and if I have to choose between a kidnapping and an exile I'll always choose the kidnapping.

8. Tutta intera by Espérance Hakuzwimana

Best Italian novel I read in several years. If it doesn't get translated in 204610464 languages then what's the point.

9. Tre ciotole by Michela Murgia

This year we also lost author and activist Michela Murgia. It still feels like I lost my cool auntie, and I know it shouldn't, but it does. To cope I read this and... yeah.

10. If Cats Disappeared from the World by Genki Kawamura

If we consider how short it is and how much I cried reading it... it was probably a sob every two pages.

Honorable mentions:

Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen (not incluced because I wanted to keep only 1 book per author).

Foul Lady Fortune by Chloe Gong (extremely tough decision between this and Genki Kawamura, but I had to go with the book that made me cry the most. I will remember 2023 as the year of the Shanghai duologies though, and this is by far my favorite book of the series).

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satankilledmyghost · 1 year

Note

I NEED MORE WOLFIE😭😭😭😭😭

(Love you tho. Even if you don’t write anything, because hello it’s me, I’m proud to read the finished products heahaehehe)

OR GIMME (or us*) HEAD CANNONS OF THEM AT A FUNERAL. that would be something I would PAY to see.

For some reason, I kinda want to just be in the mind of one of them. Just for a day. Yknow? And I’m also debating starting the series over, and I could be texting you this, but hey, I’m bored and too lazy to switch tabs rn. If you do post this, I wanna say hi to everyone. Hit me up. Please. I need more people to appreciate the wolf without thinking I’m into some wattpad werewolf books.

BITCHHHHH I THOUGHT U WERE A RANDOM ASS DUCKLING SO I WAS CONFUSED ABOUT THE TEXTING PART ABBSJSNA. I DIDNT KNOW YOU CHANGED YOUR USERNAME😭

y’all, say hi to my bestie. she’s a fucking nutcase but we love her nonetheless <3

okay, one, fucking reread weak hero. or imma go to your house and find you. two, here’s your request, but go see your therapist. three, don’t hate on the wattpad- yeah, i- i can't justify those.

WARNINGS: MENTIONS OF DEATH, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, AND FUNERALS, HEARTBREAK, ANGST?

weak hero characters reaction to your death/at your funeral

donald na

you know that one time where kingsley went into donald’s office and trailed off mid sentence because he noticed donald was eating a loaf of bread and zoning out??

that’s his reaction you dying

no emotions, no crying, just an empty, numb feeling in his chest and he can only think of you and not really focus on anything else

he'll be doing something and thoughts like “they would really like this” or “they would fucking hate this” or just picturing your reactions to something that donald’s doing in the current moment will cross his mind

he'll replay past conversations and interactions with you an unhealthy amount of times, suffering through tears. whether he wants to admit it or not, you had an affect on donald.

if you die tragically(say, beaten to death over union bs or jumped or whatever), he’ll punish those mother fuckers. no mercy.

donald'll be more salty and short-tempered to everyone around him. even kingsley isn’t safe.

donald misses you, and he longs to be in your presence one last time, even if it means listening to you complain about how cruel he runs his union.

jake ji

will bawl his eyes out and will probably have a psychotic break down.

he’ll be mental, how dare the universe take you from him?!

the one thing in his life that isn’t tied to the union, you were his little slice of life

a tiny piece of this world that isn’t cruel, someone he can go to.

sure, jake’s got dean and the guys, but they can be assholes sometimes. the one person that would always be there, arms open wide and endless love just for him, you, is gone. and it won't ever change.

all of those late, spontaneous nights at the parks, you pestering him to get him to study, pulling all-nighters watching anime, walking with you to and from school, your bright smile, your laugh, all of those times that you and jake cuddled close and fell asleep. these things will never happen again and jake can't handle that reality.

jake will call you, desperate and foolishly hoping that you'll pick up your phone. but all he ever gets is your voicemail. if you had access to your phone, it'd be voicemail after voicemail of jake violently sobbing into his phone, begging, pleading for you to come back.

wolf keum

his body will have a reaction to your death, but his mind won’t catch up.

with news of your death, wolf will start to tremble, his voice will be useless, and his body is super tense. he might even start crying.

but while all of this is happening, wolf won’t be feeling anything internally. his mind will run blank as he tries to process the fact that you’re dead.

wolf's emotionally numb and the only coherent thought he has is “oh, they’re dead. is this how someone’s supposed to react? what i’m doing now? why is there tears? i don’t feel sad? okay. they're gone. you're gone.”

he saw you this morning. wolf walked you to school. what happened? is this a sick joke?? cause if it is, wolf will beat your ass to death's doorstep himself.

but it’s not a joke and that slams him when he attends your funeral. wolf will be in the back of the room, hands stuffed into his pockets and eyeing your sobbing family and friends warily.

wolf doesn’t participate, hell, he can’t even bring himself to witness you getting buried, but he stays for the eulogy.

just hearing what your friends and family have to say about you kills him.

but it’s also almost like a peace offering at the same time. in what wolf hears about you via everyone else, he realizes that the you that you were around him was only for him. you showed him sides of you that none of these people knew about.

if wolf walked out of your funeral with anything that day, it was a minuscule glimmer of bitter sweet pride that he was the only one that got to love that version of you.

forrest lee

he’s just pissed off. permanently.

cries himself to sleep over you, is sweet to your family at your funeral, and stays through the whole thing

he doesn't know how to process these emotions. grape might lecture him about the 5 stages of grief, but forrest wouldn't be listening.

he'd dig himself a grave, drown himself in whatever he could get his hands on to escape reality.

forrest would pull the dumbest shit and end up driving Hyeongshin into the ground with his carelessness and get beaten a millimeter from death by donald's hands.

but as grape and robin watch on in complete horror and shame, forrest would be on the ground oddly content because maybe, just maybe, donald will deal that final blow and he'll get to see you again.

jimmy bae

he’s a giant softie, he’ll cry until he’s a human raisin as soon as he gets the news.

he won’t say anything to anyone, especially at your funeral. sure, he’ll talk to your family, but it’s short and quiet.

jimmy would definitely stand at your headstone hours after your burial ends. he won’t say anything, but he’s there. and he desperately wants to know if you’re there, too, sitting on your headstone or standing next to him, leaning into his side like you always did when you were alive.

jimmy always complained about you wanting physical affection, but he’d do just about anything now to hear you pout until he let you hold his hand on the walk to school just one more time.

big ben

you broke him. i don't know how else to explain it. ben's screams still haunt whoever was in earshot to this day.

ben's typical optimism and emotional maturity in tough situations will be thrown out the window.

he can't even take care of himself. ben will be too busy laying, numb, in his bed to attend your funeral, but gogo and the others would force him.

bens eyes are dead and he scarily resembles a corpse as he just exists while your funeral commences.

he's a husk of the person he used to be, though it'll take a long while before he's able to start living again.

though, ben will never be the same.

alex go

he disappears. no one knows where he went or if he’ll come back.

ben will try the ocean to see if alex is there, and the first few times he might be, but alex quickly gets sick of being brought back home to where you weren’t there.

alex thinks that if he isn’t in your neighborhood, walking by your school, your favorite store, that cafe you love, you aren’t dead.

it’s easier to process your death if alex is away from all the things that reminds him of you.

alex would drag himself to your funeral and would comfort your mother as your father holds his shoulder and talks about all the things you’d say about alex to them. your dads voice would be wobbly and your mother would laugh through rivers of tears and say how giddy you were after a date with him you’d be skipping through the rest of the week.

if, one day, he does come back, alex won’t say anything. he’ll focus on bettering himself because if he couldn’t protect you from death, what use does he have?

teddy jin

teddy spends his days inside with co. he’s quiet about your death, but not the concerning type of quiet.

it’s almost like teddys pondering why you died, though the cause of your death is public knowledge.

oddly, teddy processes and gets through his grief healthy. he does become more quiet than he was before.

like jimmy, teddy would stand for hours at your burial site. he just can’t nail the reality that you’re gone, even though he sat through and talked at your funeral.

gerard jin

gerard would be suicidal. if he can’t bear the idea that his friend couldn’t perform in his band for one year over burned hands, gerard wouldn’t survive news of your death.

he wouldn’t touch his guitar, and his voice is too weak without you to sing.

he attends your funeral, though, and he tries his hardest to gain the strength to talk to your family.

his mom would hand him your journal/note that you wrote, adamant that this is something he needs to read.

and he does, but he wishes to god that he didn’t.

you wrote to him and about him. every little thing that you two did together, gerard’s quirks that you loved. hell, you even poked fun at him one time or another.

he clings to your words and there’s months of grief in store for him.

when gerard finally starts to get over your death, he’ll write the most beautifully grim song about you.

gray yeon

we’ve all experienced what stephan ann has done to gray, so his reaction to you dying will be almost the exact same.

but this time, gray has friends. ben and alex would help gray start to get back into living again. those two would take him out, starting small and hopefully working back up to what he usually would do before your death.

eugene and gerard would be the silent supporters, eugene being more apt to confront gray and directly asking him what he needs.

rowan and teddy are the two idiots in the corner trying to be serious, but rowan fucks it up and gets smacked by teddy. they’re a distraction for gray, even if for a moment, but a welcomed one.

gray would write to you, telling you about his day and what’s been going on that you’ve missed.

once he’s finished writing to you, he’d walk to your grave and set it down, a small part of him hopeful that somehow you’ll be able to read it.

once he’s more comfortable around your tombstone, gray will take time to sit down and talk to you instead of letters.

eugene gale

poor baby doesn’t know what to do :(

eugene would close up and shun everyone around him.

he’d be mute and refuse to open up to anyone, deciding that suffering in silence is the best way to go instead of bothering everyone else with his grief.

eugene might go as far as to be hostile to ben and everyone else, and that’s when they know something is wrong wrong.

eugene is in desperate silence at your funeral, grasping at air to try and stop himself from crying.

he takes notice of the flowers at your eulogy, oddly. you had never stated what you like regarding flowers, if you liked them at all, so eugene found it odd that there were extravagant bouquets for you.

but when he visits your grave, he’ll bring different types of flowers and, depending on how well the grass above your casket is growing, find out which ones you like.

there’s no logic to this, eugene is aware of that, but it’s something that reassure eugene that you aren’t totally gone.

after months, eugene would sit at your grave and rattle off facts and stories to your head stone just like he did when you were alive.

rowan im

rowan could barely survive through your funeral, having to leave multiple times from sobbing, and visiting your grave is unbearable right now.

he would force himself to stay bright and cheery. he’s the type to make sure that nothing that bothers him will show.

he needs to stay that one friend that can make everyone laugh, ya know?

but more and more, rowan’s grief would seep onto his mask and the group would definitely notice.

it’d start with one quiet day, and then the jokes are less and less, and then for a whole week rowan just gives up.

how’s he supposed to function when you’re gone? you’re his number two, the one person who would go along with his shit and have fun.

how’s he supposed to find fun in mundane things now if you’re not around??

#weak hero #weak hero webtoon #weak hero x reader

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ardent-fox · 4 months

Text

New Year's Ask Game for Fic Writers ✍✨

I decided to complete this game to help me reflect and possibly get back into writing regularly again, I was not tagged but here's a bit of self-indulgence nonetheless 😊💙

To close out 2023…

1) What fic did you have the most fun writing this year and why? Or, if you can’t decide, what was most fun about writing this year for you?

I've only completed and posted one fic this year/ever and about a dozen Galladrabbles, and had the most fun writing humorous dialog whenever it was sprinkled into them.

2) What’s a scene/story that you finished and felt “wow, I really accomplished that, that actually went so well”?

The mechanics of Mickey getting fucked and jerked off at the same time in Everything, followed by describing his and Ian's orgasms. I've never written erotica from a male perspective before fanfiction and had no idea how I was going to do it, but am pretty satisfied with the results.

3) What helped provide the most inspiration for stories, if anything? Was it poetry? A song on repeat? A gorgeous gifset? A walk outside? A book you read that made you want to change everything? Whatever it was! Tell all.

Music, I make playlists for most of my WIPs. Everything had only a couple of songs, the most prominent ones being Colorblind by Counting Crows for Mickey's and I'll Be Your Lover, Too by Van Morrison for Ian's perspective. Also the poem "My God, Why Are You Crying?" by Molly Peacock, which I discovered while going through a Reddit thread about people crying during sex, doing research is sometimes inspiring in itself.

4) What is something you want to share about what you’ve written this year? A particular line, a comment that made you feel really good, a scene that was difficult to write — you get to choose! What do you wish someone would ask you about when it comes to what you’ve written?

This little tidbit in Everything that I managed to write after coming back to what I thought was an abandoned fic five months later, capturing Mickey's conflicting feelings about making noise:

The beginning of a sob emerges and he gulps it down, flinching when he feels Ian nod encouragingly against him. Rather, he dips his head, cheek resting on the back of Ian's hand as fresh tears quietly leak from him, a rogue one snagging on Ian's wrist before sliding down. "Hey," Ian gentles, hand stirring beneath him. "Don't have to hold anything back. Can be as loud as usual." He wants to, he truly does. Pleasure builds deep within him, its sounds catching in his throat, begging to be freed. Other noises tether themselves, too, ones he'd rather not bring to fruition, and he draws in his bottom lip to keep them at bay, the stubborn desire to hand-pick them denying him the deliverance of any. Restraint coils around him and he clings to it in turn, actually praying Ian doesn't stand for it and finds a way to cut it down, his authority easier for Mickey to give in to than his own permission to be vocal.

Also, all the beautiful comments I got for the fic and all the reblog tags I got for my Galladrabbles, I always screenshot those so I can easily find and reread them whenever I need a pick-me-up 💕

And to start off 2024…

1) Do you have any writing/creation goals for the year? What are they?

Just to write more without any expectations and see where it takes me, whether it's fanfic or personal stuff. Make it fun, write with abandon and focus more on the process than the final result, more on the emotions I wish the story to evoke than on the construct of things. Try to finish up most of the Gallavich WIPs I've had going on since summer of 2022, but not be afraid to drift away if something else inspires me in the moment and just write, write, write.

2) Is there a fic or idea that you’re really excited to be able to continue to work on in the new year (shout out to my fellow fic writing folks who take forever to finish wips, sometimes it’s nice to be able to continue working on something even if you wish you’d gotten it done! Now you get even MORE time with it!)

There's one domestic/fluff/angst communication-centered Gallavich fic I got the idea for and outlined not long after I joined the fandom, but thought I needed more practice before writing it that I feel ready enough to jump back into now, so that's very exciting. I also have a 13K WIP one-shot of gratuitous smut that I wrote for Kinktober 2022 that I was 90% done with, but scrapped because I used my then limited resources to complete Everything instead, and I'd love to give it a rewrite and complete it. There are ideas brewing for a Blackbonnet fic as well, but I'd rather wait and see whether we get a season 3 before delving into it, since I prefer to write post-canon. Also continue Galladrabbles, my dear 100-word morsels that are super fun to write and allow me to experiment with different themes and styles which I can later apply to other projects if I see fit.

3) What’s something new in your writing you want to try/are going to try? A different writing style? Different fandom? Darker works? Fluffier? Longer or shorter?

I'd like to work on being less rigid in my sentence structure, play around with length/pacing in order to convey the mood better. Stop focusing on counting how many times I've used a certain word and switching it out even though it fits perfectly, not allow editing to suck the joy out of things in a way. I'd love to write more at a faster pace, too, but since severe brain fog prohibits me from writing a single coherent sentence on particularly bad days and that a 7K one-shot took me 6 months to write + 2 months to edit, I'm just content with keeping my motivation strong and spirits high while writing at whatever pace I can manage. I'd also like to experiment more with angst and see how I navigate difficult, dark, traumatic topics as well as possibly try writing in the past tense, as I'm not sure a present one is the way to go for every fic.

4) What’s something you love about your own writing that you will continue to appreciate in the new year?

My ability to dive into a character's psyche in order to describe their feelings and reasonings in complicated situations, all the while making sure I sprinkle at least a tiny bit of humor along the way. I'd love to continue playing with themes such as healing through communication and sex and working out their kinks as a couple, both in and outside the bedroom, all in favor of emotional breakthroughs that strengthen the bond between them. If the level at which I'm able to portray a character's vulnerability matches the enthusiasm I have for exploring it, I reckon I'll stay on the right track this year.

Tagging @lupeloto, @crossmydna, @metalheadmickey, @gallawitchxx, @whatthebodygraspsnot, @ian-galagher, @squidyyy23, @bawlbrayker, @secret-gallavich, @juliakayyy, @look-i-love-u, @thisdivorce, @mmmichyyy, @howlinchickhowl, @callivich, @lingy910y, @arrowflier and @sam-loves-seb in case you haven't done this and would like to, otherwise just ignore the double tag and accept this cookie as a token of my adoration 🍪🥰

#me acting like some big shot writer while struggling to keep all of this coherent is a mood #here's hoping my ailments dwindle down and let me sleep in 2024 so i don't have to constantly worry if my writing make sense at all #it's been a year y'all #here's to a better time for all of us and to many creations in 2024! 🥂#tag game #ask game #fandom friends #writing

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dark-night-star-light · 6 months

Text

Spirit Animals: The Book of Shane (Reread pt. 18)

DISCLAIMER: WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRE SERIES EXCEPT THE LAST FOUR BOOKS OF THE SECOND SERIES (THIRD ARC).

Masterpost

Who is Shane?

“It isn’t very often that a gorilla and an octopus have a polite conversation” (1). God, I forgot how much I love this book.

“‘Hello, hello,’ said a deep voice . . . ” (1). I adore Mulop. He’s probably the best Great Beast.

“‘A villain through and through. The perfect choice to destroy the world and hand it over to me’” (2). This . . . is not how villains think. They genuinely believe they’re doing the right thing. Especially Kovo. He’s not just a mustache twirling villain. He has complex motivations. Why’s he pretending otherwise???

“‘I see a boy who will regret his mistakes . . . and who will miss his only true friend’” (2). The Shane and Abeke crumbs are going to destroy me. “His only true friend” I’m going to start sobbing.

“‘Is there a soul in there with any hope of redemption?’” (3). Shane’s redemption arc is truly one of the best I’ve ever seen. Also, this book clearly hints at the Wyrm, so I wonder why the writers didn’t make Kovo seem even the least bit sympathetic.

“‘I am quite certain,’ said Mulop. ‘that he would disagree.’ ‘I am quite certain,’ said Kovo. ‘that I don’t care’” (4). Obsessed with this interaction.

I don’t know if this is an unpopular opinion or not, but I actually really like the fourth wall break at the end of the introduction.

Venom

I forgot about the quotes . . .

The parallels to the main story are so good. Both stories start with the summoning of a spirit animal but the contrast between terror and happiness is so jarring.

“It was only then that the true horror of the situation finally dawned on Shane” (11). I think it’s so interesting that Shane himself never summoned one. That’s such a good choice on the writers’ part.

Shane’s jerking awake and obsessive checking is so sad. It almost feels like a form of PTSD. I love how they characterized him and his bare room.

“It was only after he was satisfied that he had not summoned a spirit animal in his sleep that he remembered to breathe” (11). How would you not know, though? You’d feel it.

“The tapestries showed legendary scenes of Stetriol’s ancient past. On one, torrents of water flowed from the mouth of a frog, creating all the lakes and rivers. Another showed two lizards painting patterns on each other, one with a fine brush and an eye for detail, the other without care” (12). I feel like that means something. Also, that must be Stetriol’s legendary water frog.

“But the Great Beasts had cursed Stetriol. They were better forgotten” (12). I wonder if Shane believes in the Great Beasts’ existence. Also, it’s so interesting how the “God” interpretation works here for the Great Beasts too, seeing as how Shane blames them for Stetriol’s curse. It’s strange he never learned about the First Devourer War.

“Shane imagined that if she attempted to lower herself any more than that, she might never manage to get up again” (13). Shane is hilarious, actually. Just not in a conventional way.

“He wasn’t sure exactly how old she was, but during her history lessons it was easy to imagine that she spoke from personal experience. The oddest thing about her, though, was that she sometimes spoke of the future as if it were history, too” (13). Wait. Did Yumaris bond to the earthworm before the events of the series??? I thought she got it when she drank the Bile??? Also, wow, lots of potential for plot holes there . . .

“‘You will be glad to have this blade,’ she said . . . ” (13). OMG WAIT. DID SHE SEE THE WAR COMING? IS THAT WHY SHE GAVE HIM THE BLADE??? I think I got it, guys . . .

“Yumaris answered, a faraway look in her eyes. ‘For words and learning do little to impress a jackal.’ Shane tightened his belt and gave his tutor a questioning look. ‘There are no jackals in Stetriol’” (13). Wait. Yumaris saw Zerif coming??? That’s how I’m going to interpret it . . .

It’s funny how Shane sees Gar as this wicked man, then does nothing about it.

“ . . . rumor had it that King Feliandor himself had added them during his reign, sometime after he had taken to calling himself the Reptile King” (15). So, the people of Stetriol know something at least . . .

“That was only made worse after the great war and the Greencloak invasion, when the island nation’s shores were overrun” (15). Wait, so. Then that means they know the full story, right??? Also I don’t know if I’ve talked about it before but the parallels between the Devourer Wars and the World Wars. The first ones were both referred to as “the great war” and the second was directly caused by the attacking nation being sidelined after being defeated during the first. I almost wonder if the inspiration for the First and Second Devourer Wars came from World War I and II.

Okay, so Zerif’s sunburn makes sense given that he climbed to Muttering Rock, but how was he not fried alive???

So Magda appears to be a servant, but earlier it’s stated that they didn’t have money to pay servants???

I kind of wish they’d shown more scenes of Shane and Drina before the bonding sickness incident.

“‘A worm? A slug? Something small and worthless’” (19). Interesting that Drina says this, because Yumaris’s spirit animal is a worm. Almost feels like Drina has a strained relationship with Yumaris. Foreshadowing the fact that Yumaris is the one that held Drina down when she got killed by Gerathon?

[cut because block limit]

“‘It’s not fair,’ she said . . . ‘I’d be great. I’d be so great’” (19). That’s actually so heartbreaking.

“But in that moment, he felt no pity for her, and no love - only hate. Then he saw the handkerchief she held against her mouth. It was wet and heavy with blood” (19). This hits so hard. Just straight observations with no emotions attached. It feels so hopeless.

This snake anecdote is interesting. Might talk about it more in my Shane analysis.

“But then their mother was there” (20). Doesn’t she have the bonding sickness??? Maybe this was a good day.

“‘This is the prince of Stetriol,’ she said. ‘He’ll never bow to a mere snake’” (21). This could either be irony, considering what happened with Gerathon, or it could be symbolism, with snakes representing evil and his mother saying that Shane would never become evil.

“In her absence . . . ” (21). Is Shane’s mom dead?

“ . . . when the Reptile King’s soldiers had bonded with any animal they could get their hands on” (21). So he knows about the Bile, too???

“‘I am in charge!’ Shane shouted” (23). Yeah, gettem. Also it’s hilarious how this must look to Zerif, to have this child shout at him like that.

Why doesn’t Shane just show Zerif to his father? Like, yeah, he’s sick or whatever, but he can just have him thrown in jail afterward again.

Shane casually calling himself leader in front of Gar!!!

“‘We’re the most peaceful nation in Erdas. The rest of the world pretends we don’t exist’” (25). He literally knows the entire story except the part about the existence of Nectar??? Also, why is Gar so insistent on starting a war? Like all he cares about is building his fleet. But why?

“‘It is my honor as regent to stand before you today to christen this ship . . . ’” (27). Erdas had Christianity???

The Stetriol-post-WWI-Germany parallels are. Not subtle.

Isn’t this the scene where Shane realizes that Gar wants to send him away to war to secure his own power??? Why is that not mentioned?

The idea of a small eight-year-old child who’s determined to kill all snakes is simply adorable.

“He was armed for war” (29). *insert picture of small child in scraps of armor*

“‘He wants to hurt the snakes,’ Drina said . . . ‘Because they hurt him’” (30). It’s interesting how Shane’s mom teaches him about harming innocents with revenge as young as eight, but this scene never actually says he processed or learned that.

“‘Most snakes are harmless, Shane. And the one that bit you was only surprised. You don’t want to hurt snakes for being snakes, do you?’” (30). Parallels between the war on the snakes and the war on the Greencloaks? The Greencloaks hurt Shane first, so he tries to hurt all of them, even the innocent ones.

Small Shane yelling about how he’s not scared is so cute.

“‘Sometimes hate and fear are the same thing’” (30). Is this coded toward his relationship with Drina or the Greencloaks?

“ . . . Shane widened his eyes as if he cared” (31). Shouldn’t . . . he? Isn’t he kinda poor? Stolen food could be expensive . . . Also why are there servants now???

It’s so interesting how we don’t see Drina’s response to Shane asking her to leave with him . . .

“The planks that made up the fort had been painted pink and green - Drina’s and Shane’s respective favorite colors” (32). I’m going to assume that Shane’s favorite color is green based on the order the names and colors are listed in . . . his favorite color used to be the color of his future enemies . . .

“He trailed his hand along a pink plank, curled his fingers into the gap, and with sudden violence ripped the board free” (32). He’s ripping away his childhood . . . ?

Oh, this is the scene where he realizes Gar’s plans to send him away to danger.

“If Shane refused to sail with the fleet, he would look like a coward” (32). He says . . . right before the exposition about his plan to leave Stetriol. Does he think that won’t make him look like a coward???

“Perhaps they’d even have a cure for Drina” (33). He’s right . . . in a sense. Even though it’s never explicitly stated, it's definitely implied that Nectar can’t cure bonding sickness, it can only prevent it.

Nobody: Literally nobody: Shane: *screams*

“‘Sugar water. Salt water. One maniac tried to convince my father to drink snake venom’” (34). But like. Why??? Was he unhappy or something?

“‘And during the day, it’s as hot as a cauldron.’ ‘I do not burn easily,’ Zerif said . . . ” (35). Only during the day??? Well, then, a lot of people should’ve been able to get to the top, right??? Just do it during the night . . . why is Zerif the only one who’s done this???

“‘One can learn all sorts of secrets,’ . . . ‘if one takes time to listen at the base of that great pillar’” (35). So Kovo didn’t hire Zerif, Zerif just overheard him talking???

“But Shane wasn’t allowed in the water. He knew he’d never be free” (36). Free, as in freely bonded to a spirit animal???

I forgot Shane’s mom died.

“ . . . the Great Beasts were all but ignored in Stetriol . . . ” (37). Because Stetriolans believe the Great Beasts cursed them?

It’s interesting how Shane thinks of the Four Fallen as “aid[ing] the Greencloak invasion” (37).

It really means something that Shane chose Mulop and Mulop is the only Great Beast that canonically saw the best in him. Shane and Mulop both have soft spots for each other.

Feliandor-Shane parallels!

“He looked over the portrait for a moment more, and decided he didn’t see much of a resemblance” (38). Shane! Fel! Parallels! Feliandor looking at the portrait of his parents and seeing no resemblance, but seeing that as a negative thing, and Shane seeing the portrait of Fel and seeing no resemblance, but seeing that as a positive thing.

“‘So smug,’ Shane said, feeling a little smug himself” (39). Heh.

[cut because block limit]

“‘Feliandor’s soldiers all used the Bile, and none of them suffered the bonding sickness’” (39). Okay, Shane came to the right conclusion, but did nobody tell him that the bonding sickness didn't even exist before the war?

How does Shane know what a talisman even is? Isn’t that some sort of secret?

The idea of the true king having the Jade Serpent is such a cool concept, and having the talisman be in the throne as a very literal interpretation of that is kind of interesting, because it kind of symbolizes how frivolous and material Kovo saw being king of Stetriol as. By “true king” he literally meant “guy who sits on the throne”, instead of something like “had the qualities of a king”.

“Would that mean Gar was the true king of Stetriol?” (41). See, this is what I mean. The narrative implies that having the talisman equals being the true king, even though that’s just what Zerif says.

Shane tries to save the kangaroo! That’s such a cool symbolism moment, representing how he truly just had good intentions.

“But there were no jackals in Stetriol�� (43). Throwback moment.

“He refused, too, to admit that his wife had been sick” (44). Why did the king marry a woman with bonding sickness, anyway?

“But when his daughter . . . was similarly stricken, something in the king has snapped” (44) and “‘But the real trouble happened when he decided he could cure himself . . . He killed his own spirit animal’” (45) imply that the king killed his spirit animal around the time Drina got the sickness. It’s interesting how the combination of the death of a spirit animal and the bonding sickness compound on one another instead of canceling each other out.

“‘ . . . I’d have to admit that the king is . . . unfit. That Stetriol is without a true leader’” (44). Not really anything wrong with that, though? He could just claim his position as leader.

Zerif refers to Shane as “Prince Shane”!!!

So Shane knew the entire story of what happened except the part about the Greencloaks having the Nectar. And that’s the turning point. That’s the moment he goes from being innocent to . . . not so much.

Kovo’s message being so literal is perfect symbolism for how Shane saw being king as a surface-level thing. Just have a powerful spirit animal and no sickness and you’ll be a great ruler! Never mind any other qualities a king may need!

“The sense of triumph he experienced in that moment . . . ” (46). This reminds me of how he’s described to have “cold triumph” in his eyes during the showdown on Muttering Rock.

“ . . . bracing himself for her verbal abuse” (46). It’s so sad how he got used to that, though, even though he knew it wasn’t her fault.

“The curse had been broken” (47). Ironic.

“Shane stood on the beach that night and watched his sad little handmade boat go up in flames” (47). Symbolism for destruction of innocence, me thinks. The boat was made out of his childhood playhouse.

It’s so interesting how Shane didn’t get a real spirit animal, unlike Fel. Just thinking about how in another nation, he’d have been the only one in his family to not live up to expectations.

“He felt neither. But while their eyes were averted, he allowed himself a furtive smile” (48). Sort of makes me think that Shane’s morals immediately going out the window is about the destruction of his innocence more than him finally realizing it was an option to kill his father.

“What kind of person would want a spirit animal? A ruler, thought Shane. A king.” (48). This is what I meant when I said that Shane saw very shallow things as qualities of a good ruler rather than actual good qualities.

“Shane dreamed he’d bonded with a crocodile” (48). Ohohohohooho.

“The creature had drowned one man and maimed two others before it had been subdued” (48). Kind of reminds me of that scene in Blood Ties where Shane sacrifices his own soldier to save Abeke. He doesn’t care who’s loyal to him.

“He woke slowly from an untroubled sleep” (49). Unlike the past two years . . .

Also this story proves that Zerif’s jackal was a natural spirit animal . . . but we know he took the Bile. We also know after the war, it runs away, but wouldn’t their bond have been natural by that point? How did it leave him?

Vendetta

“The war was over, and he’d won it” (55). Gotta love the stark contrast between this section and the next one (Vengeance).

“But who needed to tell them apart anymore? What was the point of borders, anyway? It all belonged to him now” (55). Shane being up high symbolism for his ego?

“They’d both been lying for a very long time, hiding their true natures, like a crocodile hides beneath the surface of the water, waiting to strike” (56). The crocodile-Shane symbolism is just such a cool thread. It represents his corruption and redemption beautifully.

“The days he’d spent on the boat with Abeke had been … Well, they had been a pleasant respite from months of war” (56). I love how subtle this book is with Shane’s feelings for Abeke. You just get these little gems throughout that show how much he does truly care for her and how much it did hurt to betray her.

I like how it’s shown very clearly how hard the Greencloaks tried to fight to get the talismans back. Like they didn’t just give up hope at the end of Rise and Fall like the narrative suggests. No, they still tried to get them back. And they very nearly did.

“‘Have a care!’ Shane shouted. ‘Lose me and you lose the talismans’” (58). The ego that drips off of Shane in this section is just. Wow, this guy really talked back to a Great Beast. It’s honestly so well done.

“If there was one thing Shane couldn’t stand, it was feeling powerless. He’d had enough of that back in Stetriol. But he hadn’t truly been powerless in a long time. Not since he’d drunk the Bile and joined Zerif in his campaign against the Greencloaks” (58). I kind of want to know what Zerif’s motive in all this is? Why does he hate the Greencloaks? This is a great way of tying Shane pre-corruption and Shane post-corruption, though.

“‘Why not? Let them come in force,’ Shane scoffed. ‘I took them on single-handedly. What chance would they have against my army?’” (59). Shane is such an egoistic little bitch in this section, it's hilarious.

“‘You would not wish to displease Gerathon.’ ‘I know that,’ Shane spat. His face grew warm despite the blustery wind. ‘I know that well’” (59). Ohhhhhhhh.

Shane’s fear of spiders parallels Meilin’s fear of spiders. They both started hating spiders during the same incident (Drina getting murdered by her own spirit animal). And Shane’s ego in this section perfectly matches Meilin’s near the beginning of the series, as well.

“ . . . the most beautiful to Shane’s eye was the leopard of amber. It seemed to glow with its own inner light” (62). Well, warning that I’m about to read into this way more than the author probably meant for me to. The talisman is almost definitely symbolism for Abeke. It says “to Shane’s eye” meaning that objectively, the talisman probably doesn’t look that much better than the other talismans. Just like how, objectively, Abeke looks pretty average, but to Shane she’s more than that. It also says there’s an “inner light” which implies something that shines from within, not necessarily anything physical to see. Just like how Abeke has an inner charm. Also, the obvious leopard-Abeke symbolism.

Why does Shane have a vial of Bile??? Why would he need that???

“Kovo’s Obsidian Ape likewise enhanced his vision, but in a subtly different way than the falcon did” (65). I wonder how the Greencloaks got their hands on Kovo’s talisman and why they never used it before.

“[The Amber Leopard] made him feel at ease in this Niloan jungle Uraza had once called home. It was simply the most practical choice, he told himself” (66). Mhm.

“They had trusted their neighbors. That had apparently been a mistake” (67). Love the detached, almost unreliable way this is narrated. Out of context, you would think that Shane was not the one responsible for all the destruction.

“‘You killed me, whether you meant to or not. And that,’ he said, ‘is your nature’” (69). Probably more about Drina, honestly, not Gar.

“ . . . Shane jolted awake . . . ” (69). Hmmmm. So that didn’t go away then.

“Conor and Rollan had almost bragged about it when they’d told him” (70). Wow, Shane is an unreliable narrator.

“He was completely cut off from his sword, the talismans were a hopeless tangle on the floor . . . ” (71). This is why he should’ve kept the talismans on his person.

“ . . . feigning innocence before he remembered that he was in fact innocent” (73). Wow. Shane corruption arc go brrrrrr.

“The village, he decided, must have been protecting Greencloaks. It was the only explanation for the savagery with which the Conquerors had descended” (73). Wow, Shane really is such a manipulative ass in this section, and I love it.

[cut because block limit]

“ . . . he couldn’t bring himself to pose as a Greencloak” (74). Shane’s ego is really getting in his own way, like my guy. Come on.

“ . . . Shane couldn’t leave him alone in the jungle. Could he?” (75). Reading on a bit further, you can tell that Shane kind of really doesn’t care about Achi and only takes him because he’s useful as a guide.

“But he knew what question Achi was waiting to hear, and he asked it” (78). Shane is manipulative and charming as hell.

“‘Abeke?’ Shane called, louder this time. ‘Abeke, if you’re out there, I can explain everything’” (80). God, I want to know what he would’ve said. Like think about the possibilities.

“Shane made an involuntary gurgling sound” (81). THAT’S SO FUNNY.

Shane giving the Amber Leopard to Achi cements the Achi-Abeke parallels, in my head.

“He climbed even more nimbly now that he wore Abeke’s talisman - Uraza’s talisman, Shane corrected himself” (82). Ohhhh, so he does think of it as Abeke’s.

“‘Did you ever hear the story about how the goanna and the perentie got their coloring?’” (83). Kinda wanna hear that one.

“Kovo escaped, but he lost the tail to the cats” (85). I wanna say, it’s pretty unlikely that this story actually happened in canon, because as seen in Tales of the Great Beasts, Uraza did actually like Kovo before they were enemies, saying that it unsettled her that he would work with murderers and calling him her neighbor. But a cute story nonetheless.

Also the story is kind of foreshadowing in its own sense, since in it Kovo is manipulative, but is still defeated in the end.

“But that was the beauty of the Bile, wasn’t it? No one could resist it in the end. Not even stubborn, foolhardy Drina” (86). Foolhardy??? It’s still unclear whether Drina was in on the plan to get herself killed. In fact, it’s unclear whether Shane knew that the plan was to get Drina killed.

“He didn’t need to bribe Achi, and he didn’t need to bully him either” (87). Well, at least Shane still has a shred of decency in this section.

“‘She was no Greencloak. She wasn’t even Marked’” (88). Wow, the Conquerors are straight-up stupid. How dumb do you have to be to realize that a non-Marked person means you got the wrong person??? And how dumb is Achi’s dad to gamble that they’d be that dumb?

“In [the jackal’s] jaws was a bloody crown, forged in the shape of a snake devouring its own tail’” (88). Wow, foreshadowing for Zerif’s betrayal for sure.

“‘He got the cats to stop fighting. He saved the day!’” (89). It’s ironic because Shane is clearly paralleling himself, but also he’s the one that started a fight in real life.

“He was Uraza, and he was home” (91). Kinda cute, if you ignore the context.

“Not that it would have been a very strategic choice with a man-eating cat bearing down on him” (92). Right, but he’s used to sifting through talismans while running. He’s done it several times before in this section. Yes, he’s carrying Achi, but he’s also got Uraza’s talisman to take care of him while he searches.

“‘And I lost the man I - a good man, Tarik’” (93). Well, that’s about as close to canon as we’ll get.

“‘I haven’t killed anyone,’ Shane growled” (93). Someone needs to teach this guy that killing can be indirect. And also, I don’t think that’s true. There are several battles that he’s been in, so I feel like it’s unrealistic to say he’s never killed anyone.

“‘So high and mighty. Not against sending an assassin after me, though, are they?’” (93). Yeah??? This is a war??? They’re gonna send someone after you, duh. Bro, what kind of logic is that???

“He acted quickly, and replaced the Amber Leopard with Kovo’s Obsidian Ape” (94). Kind of showing him throwing his morals out the window, since he was so repelled by the Obsidian Ape earlier.

“Black and white. Precisely how the Greencloaks saw the world” (95). As if you don’t??? My guy???

“‘Achi, it’s okay,’ Shane said quickly. ‘Grahv won’t hurt you’” (95). Wonder how true that would be if Lishay had called his bluff . . .

“Shane had given him Jhi’s talisman and carried him all the way here despite the ache in his limbs” (96). Why did Shane carry him? Achi should’ve been healed? And why did Achi let Shane carry him?

“ . . . Shane turned to Achi and winked . . . ” (97). Bitch, he really tried that??? Like unironically??? I’m laughing. Man, I’m laughing so fucking hard.

“He tried to grasp at a fleeting sensation of victory, but it slipped through his fingers and was gone” (97). Kind of like how his victory over the Greencloaks in this section is short-lived and he lost anyway.

Vengeance

The quote. I’m sobbing.

“‘You won. We lost. Do you have to rub it in?’” (103). My guy. Do you know how war works???

“There was real hatred there. Real hunger for revenge” (103). Shane trying desperately to convince himself he’s not as much in the wrong as he is is simply splendid.

“‘Don’t play innocent with me,’ Shane countered. ‘I wrote the book on that particular trick . . . ’” (105). Paralleling the previous section?

“But he could always get more money” (106). How???

“‘Deadly?’ Shane echoed. ‘A frog?’” (107). Does he seriously not know about the whole bright-colors-warn-predators thing??? Huh . . .

Why does he have a vial of Bile on him??? That is so weird.

“‘They came close, though,’ Shane said, fighting to keep his voice steady” (108). Not him still trying desperately to stroke his own ego.

“ . . . hoarded so jealously over the years” (108). One thing I notice across several books in this series is that whenever they talk about the Greencloak-Nectar situation, they always say “hoarded jealously”. Like, variety in word choice is not a thing apparently.

“‘ . . . What sort of snake?’” (109). This section is so appealing because of the mystery aspect.

“But what if it didn’t stay that way? What if it could somehow do more harm? The Bile was Shane’s mess. And he was looking to clean up his messes” (110). Right, but he effectively does nothing. The Bile does lose all its power??? That’s so weird. But okay, I guess.

“ . . . stopped to trade for a bag of roasted nuts . . . ” (110). Where did he get the money??? He just gave it all away?

“‘You sound just like a snake I used to know’” (111). Yumaris???

Where is Shane getting the money to hire Anya??? Like huh???

Also Anya is described in an incredibly similar fashion to Anka. Like. I can see how you might get the two mixed up.

“As Shane’s parents and sister grew sicker, he was left entirely to her whims” (113). The relationship between Shane and Yumaris is so interesting and kind of contradictory in some places.

The whole conversation about tools is probably a reference to Venom, when Yumaris insists that Shane needs many tools . . .

“If this year of war had taught him anyway, it was how much he’d taken for granted as a prince” (115). This is directly contradictory to his statement in Vendetta about how he’s not pampered despite being a prince. Character development or something, I guess.

“‘“Bushmaster” is a code. And it leads to that jungle temple’” (117). How does he know that??? Is it something Yumaris taught him???

Feel like the venom-poison-snake-frog thing is symbolism for Shane and Yumaris. Shane is a snake, who’ll hurt you by himself, but for Yumaris to hurt you, you have to interact with her first.

“‘The bright colors are a warning to predators: I am dangerous and I taste bad. Stay away.’ ‘Sort of like a Greencloak,’ Shane said under his breath” (119). LOL.

“‘We don’t have bears here.’ ‘Tell that to the bear!’” (120). I love them, Your Honor.

[cut because block limit]

“Outside of Stetriol, they were supposed to pretend he was no more than their commander’s nephew” (121). Even the Conquerors that aren’t Stetriolan know that???

“‘I’m thinking we throw Soyland to the bear and she lets us go’” (123). I’m with Anya there, not gonna lie.

“‘The bear was a victim in all this. Poisoning her isn't right’” (124). Redemption arc Shane go brrrrr.

“‘“Bushmaster” was what we called this operation. We- We named them all after snakes’” (124). Oh, so that’s how he knew.

Also, what was the operation specifically?

I get that they have a common enemy, but Anya doesn’t react with much ferocity toward Shane’s reveal. Like. They haven’t even known each other that long.

“But there was no point in turning down the man’s gratitude, and he accepted it with a curt nod” (127). Yes. Yes, there is??? Yes, there is.

“Shane wondered briefly how many young men and women of Stetriol had marched into battle across Erdas” (127). Oh, so they are from Stetriol. Interesting.

“Each and every drop was a drop made by their hands” (129). Wow, the paranoia starts already.

“And then there was Yumaris, who made an unusual choice” (130). Okay, so if Yumaris hadn’t already been bonded to her worm before, then how did she know the future before taking Bile? It said she spoke of the future like the past, so was she just making that up???

“Alone among the kings and queens of Stetriol. Food for worms, all of them” (131). I guess you can never really escape your fate, even if you become great.

“‘Sir,’ said Lovvorn. ‘Sire!’ said Alix. ‘Idiot,’ said Anya” (136). Cackling.

“‘Did she tell you I have a weak spot for girl archers? Did she think I’d be more likely to trust you if you reminded me of someone I care about?’” (137). Ooooooooh. Kicking my feet at the subtle references to Abeke.

Shane blaming Yumaris for Drina’s death as if he isn’t the one that came up with the plan in the first place is so damn blame-shifty. (He came up with it right? Feel like that hasn’t been confirmed, only heavily implied.)

“‘Gerathon was going to kill one of you that day. By stepping in when I did, I ensured it wasn’t you’” (140). Why was Gerathon going to kill one of them??? I thought it was Drina, so the plan could go . . . well, according to plan. But it really seems like Shane and Yumaris had no idea Drina was going to be killed??? So what was the original plan exactly???

“‘I wish I could see for myself how you’ve grown’” (140). Awwww.

“‘The world above will need a protector who can walk the line between good and evil’” (141). Why do they need to be evil???

What happens to Anya after this? Does she just go back? Do they ever talk again? Does she know Shane eventually dies?

Venture

“‘I’m not here to cause trouble Maddox’” (148). Why are they immediately antagonistic??? I literally don’t remember shit about this.

“ . . . Abhay wasn’t from Stetriol - and he didn’t have an obvious grudge” (149). Wait. Are the men mad because Shane lost the war? Or something different?

“‘I am Maddox’s king’” (149). He just said it didn’t bother him to not be called a king like a page ago.

“‘People said that, at the end, you fought alongside the Greencloaks’” (149). How do people even know that? It happened at the Evertree, and nobody else was there.

“‘For us, the war never ended’” (151). Huh.

“Shane dreamed he summoned a wolf . . . he knew he’d never be alone again” (151). This is kind of heartbreaking, in a way. Like he’s been alone his whole life and only because of war is he making friends. And never ones that he really keeps.

“Others called him a traitor” (153). For fighting with Greencloaks in the end?

“She had a special knack for pointing out Shane’s shortcomings, and pride ranked high on the list” (154). She’s not wrong. Even in The Burning Tide, when Shane is trying to redeem himself, he wants to impress Abeke more than anything else.

“But, oh, how he wanted to trash this guy” (154). Yeah, me too, honestly. He doesn’t appear to be the most open-minded.

“Shane could swear the figure was wearing a crown” (155). Why is he watching her during a fight, anyway??? Like, dude???

“Shane dreamed he summoned a panda. The animal wrapped him in its arms” (155). Awwww.

“‘The dirt is no place for pride, my king’” (156). If Shane wanted to help himself, shouldn't he have gotten up and not laid pathetically in the dirt?

“‘A natural bond. We grew up together’” (157). I wonder what Viktor thinks of Bile bonds in general. He grew up in Stetriol, so he’d probably be pretty torn.

Okay, so he thanks Shane for the Bile, but also wouldn’t he find it somewhat repulsive, seeing as he has a good bond with his own spirit animal?

“ . . . held no medicinal properties as far as Shane or Yumaris could discover” (159). I wish they’d shown more of Shane and Yumaris working together.

“Shane dreamed he summoned a falcon . . . He was untouchable” (160). Paralleling his ego?

“Here, at last, were the true warriors” (161). How were they picked?

“‘See now, Karmo? I said you’d get the hang of this’” (162). Is Karmo being forced? Maybe because of his merging with his animal? But that’s a secret, right?

“He did, however, wear a tight bandage around his left forearm” (162). Oop, Shane got him.

[cut because block limit]

The woman with the nickname “Greenslayer” needs a backstory of her own.

Why did Yeffa not want Karmo to help Viktor??? There’s a reason, right?

“It was clear who they held responsible for the outcome of the war” (164). Yep, that’s it.

“Shane wasn’t wholly surprised when Karmo made a break for it later that night” (165). Why didn’t Karmo do that earlier, though?

“‘Shane as in Shane the Reptile King? Devourer Shane?’ ‘It’s just Shane these days’” (167). Shane’s humor’s at its finest when it’s unintended.

“‘King Shane is a no-good snake’” (168). The snake symbolism thread is just *chef’s kiss*

“Who would want to keep so many smelly, scaly reptiles on display?” (169). It’s ironic how Shane is the self-proclaimed Reptile King, yet hates reptiles in reality. Almost like he hates himself from the start.

“‘Zerif chose some real lowlifes. Devin was a bully. Ana was a thief. And Tahlia, the girl from Stetriol? She was downright vicious. We were all afraid of her’” (171). Kind of wonder where Ana’s from. Like, what’s her story? Maybe she was a thief because of circumstance, like Rollan.

“Faced with such devastation, Shane had decided that day that he would activate their secret asset in the next battle. Let the Greencloaks hurt one another for a change” (171). It’s almost funny how jealous he sounds.

“‘My tribe has never had a Rain Dancer. That means we get less respect in Nilo than the insects and grubs’” (172). But Abeke’s tribe was the same before she was declared Rain Dancer, right? It doesn’t really seem like respect was Abeke’s tribe’s main problem.

“‘Finally getting called a hero, and it’s for all the wrong reasons’” (172). I think even if Karmo had succeeded in the Rumfuss mission, he’d probably have come around anyway in the end. Like he has now.

“‘The Reptile Queen?’ ‘That’s what she calls herself.’ Shane felt a weight in the pit of his stomach . . . It was the feeling he got whenever something bad was happening - and that it was his fault” (173). Oh, he figured it out immediately.

“Shane dreamed he summoned a leopard . . . And he knew he had been forgiven for all he’d done wrong” (174). Oh my God, I’m actually gonna start crying. This like. Perfectly encapsulates the tragedy of Abeke and Shane. Like Abeke forgives him but at the cost of his own life.

“‘The snake is you, if it wasn’t clear’” (176). God, this guy is stupid.

“Shane had once worn that crown . . . ” (178). How did she get her hands on Stetriol’s crown?

Okay, but how did Tahlia survive??? How did she get off the docks?

Shane didn’t know what the execution method was going to be, and didn’t have a plan for dealing with it. Which means that if they had just been planning on running him through with a sword or something, he’d have been screwed. Like, wow, that was straight-up stupid of him.

“One of the tattooed islanders lay unconscious at their feet, while the second one stood at the edge of the tree line, pleading with a huge emu . . . ” (182). Yeah, gettem. This means that the brothers are Piri and Timone. Which means they didn’t change and are still both corrupted as fuck. Nice to see that Timone has regressed with his spirit animal bond.

“She wouldn’t let go of her knives any more than she would let go of her hate” (184). It’s giving Conor and Cordelia in that final battle.

“‘The war is over!’ he cried” (186). Aww.

“‘But this time, we’ll be fighting on the right side’” (186). Shane’s redemption arc is so perfectly started in this book. I will never not be angry that he and Abeke never sat down after they met up again and had a genuine conversation about their feelings.

Final thoughts and rating (doing the negatives first this time):

Zerif and Yumaris’s bonds are weirdly inconsistent. Zerif’s bond is natural, seeing as he was bonded even before finding the Bile, so how come his jackal ran away? It can’t do that, can it? And Yumaris had a Bile bond, but had her powers even before she was bonded? So that’s sort of a plot hole. I also felt the last two stories were slightly more off-putting than the first two. They felt strange in terms of tone, which I get that they were supposed to be, but the resolutions to those sections felt so weirdly rushed. While I did enjoy getting to see what happened to Tahlia, she’s just such a weird villain. I can’t imagine her having enough finesse to put together an entire army, the way she screams at Shane and the way she doesn’t take his hand at the end. With Shane, you can see that he’s smart and careful and manipulative, but with Tahlia, I just have such a hard time believing she could stop acting like a child long enough to put together a two-hundred-person army. Anya was a strange character. I liked her while reading, but her ending was so out-of-place.

Most of the negatives of the book are nit-picks, because there’s almost nothing wrong with this book, in my opinion. First of all, the parallels. They’re so good. I feel like Nick Eliopulos has such a different writing style, one that favors symbolism and parallels and other analyzation things over the story itself. It was really fun trying to find them all and made my reread almost as fun as the original. Also the Easter eggs??? Like the Piri and Timone thing, or the several hints about Abeke. It was fantastic. The story really rewards you for paying attention to the main series and this book. First two stories were at their best, with the backstory and the Shane-snake-crocodile symbolism. The complicated relationships in Shane’s life were also written so well, such as Drina and Yumaris. It’s clear that Shane both hated and loved both of them. It also shows why he cared for Abeke so much, seeing as that was one relationship that didn’t feel as complicated to him, at least in the beginning. Exploration of the Bile was done well, too. We can see that Timone, for example, is still bonded, because his bond was originally natural, but Piri’s killer whale apparently left him. Getting Karmo’s backstory was also a highlight. And it paves the way for Devin;s story in Tales of the Fallen Beasts. And Shane the unreliable narrator. Excellently done. His pride being his “fatal flaw”, so to speak? And that being a thread that carried the entire book? It was astonishingly well done. I could see it even when it wasn’t explicitly said. Shane as a character carries this book on his back. He is such an excellent protagonist (anti-hero?) to follow, and it makes me wish we’d gotten more page time of him in the main series, as well as more chapters from his perspective. He’s so smart, and the places where he’s figuring things out or using his wits just make him even better. This book is the one that made Shane my favorite character because he’s just written with so much depth and this book does a spectacular job of humanizing him.

Rating: 10/10

#draeyem rereads spirit animals #the book of shane #spirit animals series #spirit animals books #sa spoiler #shane #zerif #yumaris #drina #achi #abeke #anya #alix #stead #karmo #jolt #viktor

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