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kulay-ng-banaag · 1 year

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☆ LOST & FOUND ☆: What A Concept!

CW: war, blood, death, sharp objects

I revised the comic art. Fixed anatomy here and there, adjusted lighting, BACKGROUNDS!

Working on this comic series will be slowed down significantly. The results of Halalan 2022 was crushing, to say the least. That and college.

I disliked having to look back at the stuff I made, even if it was for good intentions. One hot year since first posting the comic, I allowed myself to truly peruse this comic again. Not only did it resonate still, but it also resonated so much stronger now too. Who would have thought I needed to remind myself too?

I was, and up to now, in disbelief that I could pull off an insanely ambitious project, for a hobbyist of my skill level, in such an unrealistically short amount of time (never again!!!). Ironically, it was after I drilled myself into making the comic that my art style got cleaner and more consistent (I wasn't when it came to characters' faces because I was still figuring out how exactly I want to draw them).

Only the writing was left unchanged. I would crawl into a ball of shyness still about the comic, but nonetheless, I remained very proud of it. I also made a few corrections regarding historic information here and there, as well as dug up as many primary sources as I could access. What amazed me was that there was still no need to make any changes to the story.

At the end of it all, I had no regrets about following my instincts to let this comic happen. Not only did I learn a great deal about the process but I also grew to love it. The only thing stressful about it was the fact that I had to juggle this literal passion project with other commitments. If I had less of the latter, you would see me grind through my art.

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First off, I hoped that the cover illustration did not give off the impression of a 1Px2P self-cest doujin (I don't go there lmao). I was aiming to show the polarities in Piri’s character, the “blue vs. red” side if you would. The title font I used was Kawit.

I initially wanted to use the blue uniform for that spicy color contrast when it got stained in blood. I chose the khaki shade instead for insurrection!Piri because the lighter shade looked better in juxtaposition with his canon (present-day) sailor uniform.

I realized too late that the cape colors, in trying to create the illusion of the PH flag, did not follow the correct vertical orientation. I did not want to alter the entire drawing anymore so I left it that way. It appears in the correct orientation if you flip the image around, though! HA!!

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Piri took the bus because god forbid I had to draw him driving solo through Manila traffic. No thank you.

Piri could drive but he did not own a car. No matter how bad it got, he was content with opting for public transportation. He was partial to walking on his own two feet (in more ways than one).

Piri was very clearly tired, a far cry from his canon bubbly persona. Understandably so when he took an early bus trip. Yet even after hitting up a chat with friends, he was clearly worn down emotionally too.

I set these panels in violet, the color produced when you mixed blue and red. To be specific, I was aiming for the blue-violet end.

When I decided to make a comic about a nation’s flag, I never figured that I would mean that in more ways than one. I swear my choices of color palettes for scenes were pure serendipity!

Ask any Filipino what the blue side of our flag means and chances are peace will be the first word we'll tell you.

Piri wanted to tune himself out from the rest of the world. He wanted to spend just one day getting some “peace and quiet” for himself. He was very good at keeping up a face. For peace’s sake, he had to; but even in those quiet moments, one did not always truly feel “at peace.” Piri was still bracing himself for how he would be spending the rest of the day and it left him a bundle of mixed emotions.

At least he seemed convincingly cheerful enough to his peers.

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At last, Piri was free of the long bus journey out of the metro. He deserved to chill before diving into the moment of angst!

The street snack he had was kwek-kwek.

(For shit and giggles, let me share this innuendo of a song.)

Featured Locations (L to R)

Kennon Road (there was a view spot for picture-taking)

Session Road (a shopping district; I used a photo of the night market situated there)

Burnham Park (it had a lake where visitors could go boating)

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I initially wanted to write the text message in Tagalog but I was wary that it might be too harsh, even if the harshness was the point (it sounded a lot harsher in Tagalog, believe me).

It looked like it was a day of harsh noon sunlight. The scorching heat of the sun was always a nuisance even for those born and bred in this humid, tropical archipelago. It definitely got to Piri.

It was definitely the type of day where one would rather be hidden away from the burning sunlight, lest it shone on something one would rather keep to themselves.

I did not mind Himaruya using funky “unnatural” eye colors for the SEAsians (even though that was usually on drawing funky art with funky palettes) since flipping on canon was a free choice. Alas, I could not resist going off my own way too.

You know how dark brown eyes can sometimes appear golden (technically amber) when facing bright sunlight? Funny how that color sure revealed itself in a bad time. Funny also that gold was the color of the sun in the PH flag. I’m telling you all, Piri had a sunny disposition in more ways than one.

(Y’alls really thought I’d stop at the blue and red?)

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Now we could see the reason Piri went to Baguio for his birthday.

The location was a real museum that housed some of our earliest flags for public viewing! The name of the place?... The Aguinaldo Museum.

Oh to not live under someone else’s shadow.

I owed all Filipinos that read my comic my sincerest apologies for this part. This museum was different from the Aguinaldo Shrine in Cavite. It was specially built because the colder temperatures of Baguio made for an ideal environment for textile preservation.

Had it not been for the pandemic, I would have made a spontaneous trip to confirm the interior layout for myself. Instead, I relied on photographs and videos from bloggers who made their own visits. What I c ould vouch for certain was that the flag has to be kept in a dark room because old textiles faded from the sun's UV rays. I suppose they were aiming for a more serious mood with the choice of room lighting color.

It was definitely violet again. Red-violet this time.

Ask any Filipino what the red side of our flag means and, chances were, war was the first word we answered, but I wanted to go for a more neutral term: Conflict.

One could only imagine the inner conflicts Piri was going through at that moment, especially when he knew the truth.

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(I am not yet a legit historian and the pandemic severely limited how much more I could gather as someone who also likes to read history for leisure so I had to completely rely on what I could find online only.)

Long story short for my non-Filo followers, plenty of us Filipinos (if not most) considered Aguinaldo a very problematic figure in our history. It would not be the full picture, but the research I picked up for the comic would help give the gist as to why.

First off, my reasons for covering up the faces of the cameos of historical figures were:

I wanted to avoid drawing Aguinaldo’s face. By extension I had to apply the same trick for the others to avoid bias.

I got lazy to draw so many faces.

It was a storytelling trick of sorts by diverting the reader’s attention to Piri instead; “Hey, look away from these guys and go back to the real star of the story that’s also in the same panel!”

This was Piri’s story after all. This was his story.

The featured precolonial flag was allegedly the pennant of the Tondo polity*. Allegedly because I could not trace back primary sources to back it up.

*The term used was “bayan” and it was more leniently used to refer to any of the independent states that co-existed during the precolonial era (haha, “independent”). Think of how multiple German states existed pre-unification. No, there were no monarchies (in the strictest sense) in precolonial Philippines, so technically Tondo, Maynila, etc. were not “kingdoms.” Additionally, precolonial Philippines in my own lore also did not go by the name “Tondo.” He does have a tito Tondo.

I decided to feature that flag anyway because, even if it might not necessarily be true, there must be a reason Piri has that particular memory (*coughs* Andres Bonifacio was a Tondo boy).

In the flashback sequence, the first flag seen was the version of the Katipunan flag first shown at the 1897 Naic Assembly.

This was not the first flag of the Katipunan. I depicted a later version because the first one constituted the organization's acronym in white on a red background. The complete name of the organization was: Ang Kataas-taasan, Kagalang-galangang Katipunan ng mga Anak ng Bayan (The Supreme and Venerable Association of the Children of the Nation).

I can assure you all that the Katipunan was NOT the same organization nor had any connections whatsoever with a certain white supremacist group.

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The guy with (baby Katipunero!) Piri was Feliciano Jocson. Some claimed he was inspired to draft up a design after seeing the flag of Cuba in the newspaper (that’s right, folks. Cuba/Piri valid!). Sadly, there was no info on the precise drafts that Jocson had, but one could clearly see how the del Pilar flag took cues from that of Cuba. It was called such because Gregorio del Pilar (aka Goyo) made one for himself as a treat for his rank promotion.

“Wait, so how did it go from Jocson to del Pilar?” Alas, I wish I knew because there was frustratingly little information to be found on Jocson, even though he was supposed to be one of the Katipunan’s leading members. He was big enough of a deal that he was bound to strike a chord when he protested the Pact of Biak-na-Bato was only agreed upon amongst Aguinaldo’s inner circle.

It did not help that Jocson simply went off the radar when del Pilar was sent to arrest him.

Del Pilar was loyal to Aguinaldo.

ADDENDUM (01/26/23)

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While exiled in Hong Kong, Aguinaldo approached Marcela Agoncillo to create the flag closest to the version we would know today.

Aside from the fact that I wanted Piri to be present for the making of the flag, he had his reasons for joining Aguinaldo in Hong Kong, which I ought to elaborate on in a future comic.

Piri went fabric shopping with Lorenza, Agoncillo’s eldest daughter. Also, did you know about how Filipinos pointed with their lips? That was what he was doing. 😗👉

The flag was first flown at the port in Cavite, just shortly before the Battle of Alapan (May 28, 1898). Then it was flown again on the declaration of Independence in Kawit, on 612 1898.

Look at how happy Piri was now that he got a flag of HIS OWN.

Did he get to own it though?

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It was a fairly big deal when there were testimonies that Jocson was the real brain behind the (early) design. Although Aguinaldo never claimed that he designed the flag, his contemporaries had the tendency to give him the credit for it, if only because he was the one who made the pitch to Agoncillo.

However, that only partly explained why anyone would put the original flag under the custody of a space dedicated to Aguinaldo. 2 flags contested for the title of being the true original: the Aguinaldo-Suntay flag, and the Agoncillo flag.

(L: top - Aguinaldo-Suntay, bottom - Agoncillo; R: Agoncillo, closeup)

The Aguinaldo-Suntay flag had additional embroidery between the stripes. The Agoncillo flag had faces drawn on both the sun and the stars, and these were also aligned to the flag vertically.

“But wouldn’t the real og flag be the one named Agoncillo? Why do we have to acknowledge the other one?” That was because:

It was still one of our flags.

The thing was that Aguinaldo himself was the one who reported that the PH flag went missing. Twice.

I had to preserve my joke from the original Twitter thread.

In 1919, he said it got lost within the Caraballo mountain range in Nueva Vizcaya. Then in 1925, he wrote to an officer that it got lost along Tayug (Pangasinan). In both instances, he mentioned that the losses occurred during his retreat from the Americans.

The Philippine-American War was from 1899-1902.

Now that made it easier to trace back events! I included a map reference of troop movements as well as one I redrew myself in Google Maps to show where the Caraballo Mountains were.

It would seem that Aguinaldo never went anywhere near that portion of the region…

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After the war, one of Marcela’s daughters stepped forward to claim that Aguinaldo actually had the flag safely stored away in a vault. The flag was conveniently brought out for display at the museum. Additionally, the current extant copy of the Agoncillo flag might only be a replica of the “true original,” if only because its threads were found to be cotton and contradicted statements that the original flag was made of silk.

To add to the confusion, one of Aguinaldo’s own descendants claimed that the flag loss was a red herring from Aguinaldo himself. However, a flag (if not the flag) was returned to Aguinaldo circa 1930. Since then, he never let it out of his sight, to the point that he would sleep next to it. When he passed away, his daughter found the flag under his deathbed.

Personally, I believe that Aguinaldo took after del Pilar and made his own banner as well, but even I could not find information on when the Aguinaldo-Suntay flag was made. In my frustrations to piece it all together, I came up with that banger line on conflicting narratives.

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Well wasn’t that a heck of a ride through memory lane? Sadly, it was time for Piri to go home (but wasn’t he already?), but not without buying the promised barrel man!

He left by sunset because it was prettier to draw and it made the “keeping things in the dark” line slap harder. A play on finding closure, in finding peace in all that red.

Remember what the red stood for?

Oops, another flashback!

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Aguinaldo wanted to transfer his base from Tarlac to Bayombong. He sent some troops, alongside a substantial portion of their equipment and supplies, ahead of him to clear the path. Tayug just happened to be along the way.

The 2nd Division scouts of the American army successfully intercepted the message. Spanish prisoners assured their American liberators that its writing was true. Gen. Henry Ware Lawton was determined to mobilize their troops as quickly as possible, in spite of the serious deficit in supplies.

(William H. Young was under Lawton's command.)

The American side had reasons to be hesitant about the plan that was put forth. They refused to believe that Aguinaldo would give up the railroad, which was used to mobilize his supplies as well as the PH Republic's treasury. It was akin to Aguinaldo abandoning his own resources. The top priority was to capture Aguinaldo because even the American troops themselves could not afford to waste any more of their already diminished resources.

Before I continue, let's grab the troop movement map again and take another look at the purple and red lines.

Notice how there were two places named Bayombong (red line, crossing Tayug) and Bayambang (purple line, with a railroad path).

Notice how Aguinaldo's route initially followed the same as Lawton's, but diverged. It was easy to assume that the change of course was to avoid the Americans at all cost, yet they themselves had a hard time tracking him. Why?

[ This next part is my personal and non-professionally backed opinion. Believe me, I wish I had the academic credentials and the freedom to dig for evidence of the PH troops' war plans from their side. ]

Perhaps that tiny linguistic difference was an intentional red herring. The O and A in Filipino can actually be tricky to discern, depending on your enunciation. My reference did not specify either if the intercepted message was a written or a verbal account (and if the latter, it was extracted from the captured individuals). Hence, the possible mix-up between Bayombong and Bayambang. Perhaps the Americans were wrong to assume that Aguinaldo was unwilling to travel without his supply line, which would also be a serious risk on his part. It meant he was willing to buy time for himself at the cost of his own resources, both material and human. Piri would have thought of it as an outrageous plan as well. And that was why he chose to chaperone his countrymen over his general. Who was going to protect them?

In the end it was a risk that paid off for the Americans.

(Col. Henry Walton Wessels was under Lawton’s command).

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It was noteworthy that Aguinaldo stated the flag got lost somewhere in Tayug, but not necessarily in Tayug.

I imagined it might have been with someone already in transit out of Tayug. Someone who was busy leading his fellow soldiers. Someone who was determined to see his people outlast the war.

I definitely owed every reader an apology if they were still rattled by this section of the comic. It was a huge risk to let this (partly) be a war story, all the more through the lens of Hetalia. I am not ignorant of the shit people in this fandom were (and are) capable of.

However, I have since learned that it is one thing to be an ally for social justice, and it is a whole ‘nother nuisance when one must always feel the need to intervene for others for the sake of honoring their idea of peace and justice.

Now if that ain’t the Philippine-American War in a nutshell.

(Just a nutshell. Someday I’ll come back around to include HWS America’s perspective. I condemn US imperialism as much as I condemn misinformation arising from avoidance of the US’ prominent role in PH history.)

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At the end of the day, this was still a story about the flag, about the road to independence. As shitty as Aguinaldo and the war crimes of the Americans were, they all played a part in what independence meant for Piri.

What right do we have to dictate his story for him?

I would admit this section was where the fiction came in. I did not find specifics on the number of lives lost on both sides (with the Tayug takeover at least). In fairness, it was not like any of us would know. We were not there for whatever happened that day.

I was aware that war/armed conflict was a very sensitive topic and even I was not too keen on defaulting to the peace/war meanings for the stripes on the PH flag. Thankfully there is one more analogy for the red side that I wanted to raise: Blood.

I knew terms such as “patriotism” and “valor” were used, but they were often in a phrasing along the lines of “being unafraid to defend one’s homeland up to the last drop of blood.” As honorable as it was, it did not change the fact that it’s a double-edged sword (heh), especially for Piri.

The Tayug takeover was in November 1899. Antonio Luna was assassinated in June that same year. One of the most memorable characters in Philippine history, in Piri’s story, gone.

By then, Piri was at breaking point.

Morale tanked and the losses just kept climbing. Almost immediately after, Aguinaldo switched to guerrilla warfare. A last-resort tactic that was only utilized when the troops were toeing the breaking point. When people were desperate to win, so desperate that nothing would stop them, no matter the risks.

Look at all that bloodshed. Who would have thought that someone who always seemed to look at the bright side of things could also retain a vicious side?

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Forever grateful that I dug deep enough to confirm that this fight happened in the afternoon. Look at Piri eyes burning brightly like the golden sun, burning in righteous fury.

Bayang magiliw po talaga.

The title of the national anthem was Lupang Hinirang. I just cited the opening line.

Furthermore, the official translation was “land of the morning,” but the literal translation of magiliw was “tender/affectionate/friendly.” It was an apt description for when one saw the morning sun rising over the horizon, but sunlight was also not always gentle. Soaking in too much of it could harm you.

Oof, now that was a roast.

FIRE MAY BE THE GIVER OF LIFE BUT IT COULD ALSO DESTROY!

BEWARE OF FLYING TOO CLOSE TO THE SUN LEST YOU BURNED YOURSELF OUT!

Okay that’s enough sun symbolism.

The blood splatters were exaggerated. I let it be that way.

We were still seeing things from Piri’s perspective. You would not see clearly when you were in a frenzied rage. It did not help that seeing all the blood just enabled it too. He surely bottled up his bloodlust for far too long…

(Am I a freak for playing with this sort of character complexity. Yeah. Bluntly, I'm too desensitized when it came to emotional extremities. I learned to live with it. The same could be said for these nation trashbags--I mean, personifications.)

☼ ☼ ☼ Letting Piri go into sword-slashing mode was a personal artistic choice.

I was always finding accounts of how the Americans had the superior guns while the Filipinos had the superior knives. Bolo knives, specifically.

Admittedly the only films I had seen that depicted this period were Heneral Luna (2015) and Goyo (2018), but in both films, even if characters had swords on their person, not once did any of them show our prowess with the blade. Not once. By my artistic hand, I elected to feed myself.

I knew jackshit about how firearms work but I highly doubted that anyone could aim right with a rifle when they just lost an eye. Besides, if Piri’s got a sword on him and he still got the moves, rusty as they may be compared to ~300 years ago, what was stopping him?

“But they used BOLO KNIVES, not SWORDS.” Well clearly Piri’s got his own sword!

Because he’s the anime protagonist. I’m kidding. Don’t worry. It would not be the last appearance of that particular blade.

Story for another day.

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Don’t you just hate it when you jolted awake from your ride coming to a sudden halt, because your bus driver had no manners at the wheel?

The one blessing to that was that Piri snapped out of a nightmare. A war flashback, if you will.

Piri decided he had enough of the bus and rode a jeep instead. I wanted to respect the repeating flag symbolism throughout the story with the choice of background music playing.

Piri then got off to buy some birthday mamon, like the frugal bakla he was (mamon was also a euphemism for gay men).

Commuting in the PH was not “one-way.” More often than not, people had to take more than one mode of transportation. Sometimes, that mode of transportation was a trike ride that happened to be loaded with neon lights and played music on full blast. It was not all terrible, but it could be overwhelming at times.

Finally, our boy was home sweet home (always has been).

Incorporating tarsier anatomy into my art style had since worked out beautifully. I wanted to draw Pien with the same cheeky little gremlin energy as this scientific illustration.

Most photos show them at rest, but look at this little fella ready to square up!

I wished I showed more of the next room but the details were not necessary to this particular story. I would confirm it was a storage room. My own homage to the iconic storage chapter/episode (Ang Paglilinis ng Bodega AHAHAHAKLSGJHLDKSHASKSKSKSKSKSKS).

Look at all that blue in the room! What was Piri going through this time?

The blue side of the flag stood for peace, but what else came to mind when thinking of what the color represented? What were the odds that sadness was one of those other meanings?

HWS PHILIPPINES?!?!!! A MAN CANONICALLY BRIGHT AND CHEERFUL AND ENTHUSIASTIC AND ALWAYS SO FULL OF ENERGY AND LIFE AND OPTIMISM??????? SAD?!?!?!?!?!?!! DEPRESSED?!?!?!?!!!!!!

Yeah, like any human being would, and yet he was also not like any human being.

It was not just any kind of sadness too. It was melancholy from having to face the truth once more. The truth that, even after all these centuries, Piri still did not know what kind of person he should be.

Man, do I love making these dirt children go into a major identity crisis. The comic was the perfect opportunity to do exactly that. I mean, come on! The flag! The very object that represented these nations! What represented them! What defined them!

Y’all really thought I wanted to draw insurrection!Piri for the sake of depicting him going absolutely feral? Nah, that was totally one of the reasons, just not the only reason.

I held no hate for canon Piri’s personality at all because it was still so relatable as a Filipino! Yet here be a Filipino Hetalia fan clowning around by providing a more polarizing side of Piri. So unfamiliar. So divergent from his canon, true personality (or what you know to be true). It was almost as if he lost his mind at that moment.

But that was still Piri, right? Of course!

It just so happened that what happened, happened. People underwent certain emotions more intensely in certain situations. Welcome to the human condition.

Although he was not exactly human either.

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This was also me acknowledging two things: How Filipinos were known for our resilience in the face of adversity, and how even that unyielding resilience could backfire.

Even that resilience nearly killed Piri himself. He nearly burned himself out. He nearly lost himself in the process.

But how could we even gauge that? Just how much did we know about Piri? As a person? Exactly what kind of person was Piri supposed to be? What happened when we took away all the things that maked Piri "the Philippines"? Who are we left with?

"Hold up! Shouldn’t we just leave that decision up to Piri himself?" But you know how we say it was the people that made up a nation?

How ironic it was to always let other people make decisions for you. It makes you think if Piri truly “won" his independence.

If reading all those conflicting narratives made you feel frustrated, imagine how it was for Piri. How tiring it must be to have your narrative stolen, lost, and forgotten, over and over again.

For all the inquiries on his history, why hadn’t anyone asked for his story?

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Now you know how this became a 612 story. A story about independence. A story about the PH flag. How flags are born as a symbol of independence.

Let’s go check back in on the very person for whom that flag stood for.

Another flashback! Look at that sunrise! Or maybe not, Piri sure was not in the mood.

There was the red again. A nicer kind, too. And so was the warrior side of Piri you’ve all been formally introduced to, except you were seeing a warrior that was clearly exhausted and weary.

I won’t lie, letting the flag be returned like that felt too easy of a plot move, but I figured I would rather uphold the mystery.

It begged the question: Why would he just withhold the truth like that? Why didn’t he ever speak up? Why would he make that choice.

...Because he can. Let him.

Why not? That was what he had been fighting for all these years, right? To be his own person?

So what if you just saw how ruthless he could be? It was still Piri. It was not like the rest of him would completely go away as well. Besides, what choice did he have at that time?

It’s agonizing how, for all the times people invoked his name in their actions, Piri never seemed to be allowed to do things for himself. Maybe that was why he would rather keep quiet about the truth. How, all these years, he had been keeping what was rightfully his.

Because the bigger truth was that he still did not know what it means to be independent. He still did not know what it meant to be his own person. He still did not know what kind of person he should be, or wanted to be.

Bayan o sarili? Eh paano na ba kung ikaw mismo ang bayan?

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Was the flag really just returned to him like that? Who knows? You sure don’t.

Even Piri was surprised at how that happened, but who cared how it happened? At least it was returned.

It’s funny how things you lost would find their way back to you when you stopped looking for them.

I scrapped this to save on page count, but I wanted to show Agoncillo rushing to the McCulloch ship (that Aguinaldo boarded on the trip back to Cavite) the flag in time. It was sewn within 5 days, with little sleep on her end, but she was successful in personally handing over the flag to Aguinaldo.

I’m flipping on that fact and changing it to Piri. IT’S HIS FLAG AFTER ALL!

The dialogue I had in mind was Piri asking Agoncillo what the rush was for and she responded that she had just finished the flag.

You would then see the joy in Piri’s eyes but then he realized that Agoncillo pushed herself in finishing it as soon as possible. He would tell her that there was no need to, but she reassured him that she would be alright. It was all for him.

Once again, I dissed on the actual orientation of the flag, but damn did I go hardcore with the imagery!

THE SUN SHINING BEHIND CENTER PIRI! PIRI BASKING IN THE WARMTH OF A NEW DAY DAWNING FOR THE RED! PIRI MAKING PEACE WITH THE UNCERTAINTY FOR THE BLUE!

"Uncertainty?"

This was still a story about the flag, and who it represented. I will always love and cherish canon Piri unconditionally, but I swear there was so much more to his character. It helped when you knew too well that our flag had a red side too. Thinking about it now, it was weird how Filipinos' automatic first response in describing what the red represents was war.

Thank god Pixiv has an R-18G option. This was not something minors would grasp immediately, but man my people had been through a lot.

By the time our flag (in the form we know today) came to be, we literally just got out of one war only to get dragged into another. It made you think how much of a formative period that had been for Piri.

Almost as if he was in a much bigger war with himself.

“WITH HIMSELF?!”

This was also a story about independence. Our fight for independence. Piri’s fight for independence. His independence. But what did that even mean when he could not even figure out what kind of person he wanted to be?

It grew worse because if you thought jumping from one war to another in roughly half a year was bad enough, so much simultaneous in-fighting happened. It showed in how our own flag came to be, and that was just a fragment of that in-fighting. PH history was littered with inner conflicts.

Imagine how all that affected Piri.

Imagine just how tired and frustrated and progressively angry he must have been in having to deal with his own people throwing fire at each other over and over again due to all of the conflicts of interest in how best to win their independence. His independence. Imagine how much harder it got for Piri to keep to himself. How much it hurt to never openly admit his feelings. How he hated that he could never decide for himself to do. How he could not do whatever he wanted. How he never knew know what it felt like to be independent. Be his own person. Be a person. Maybe that’s one more reason why he snapped so hard in that fight.

And why shouldn’t he fight back? Didn’t he have every right to fight back? To stand up for himself? To take back what was rightfully his? His right to self-sovereignty that was stolen from him?

“BUT WHAT HE DID WAS WRONG!”

(I pull a reverse Uno card.) So now YOU get to decide for him too? YOU get to decide how Piri should have acted? YOU get to decide what kind of person Piri should be because all you know is his good-vibes-only side?

(Did I just go meta as an author? Yes I did. I clowned you all.)

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Our flag had two stripes, after all. Both with their own meanings.

What did they mean for Piri? What did he know about the kind of person he was supposed to be? Or wanted to be?

It sounded like he did not have the answer to that question, even up to now. All the more when he lived his life letting others make the decisions for him. He had seen all the stupid shit his own people were (and are) capable of. He was not ignorant.

Yet, even with all the shitty people, there were still the good ones too. Piri would remember them all. Even if their names faded out of the history books, or were excluded. Maybe all Piri needed was a gentle reminder to himself. That he did not have to go through it all alone. That it was normal to feel uncertain about yourself. That even if life was full of uncertainties, there were some things that were a certain keeper. Like the people that got you to where you were now. Like your own chaotic circle of friends that sure know how to brighten your day. Your found family. The bonds that were thicker than blood. Maybe he just needed to remind himself that hope was not lost.

☼ ☼ ☼

Be glad I preferred happy endings.

I was aware that if we started the count at 1898, Piri would be 123 years old. To me, Piri was technically much older. He had been, physically, a young adult for a really long time.

Would Piri do a live video in that kind of lighting setup? Absolutely. It was all about the aesthetic. How else could I pull off that banger fade-out too?

The gold was back too. Safe to say he still got that fire in him. Quite the heartwarming reminder.

The best birthday treat.

☼ ☼ ☼

Image Credits

Biomedical Ephemera (Tumblr), boyingski (Blogspot), Emilio Aguinaldo Museum (Facebook), Friend Cheap Menu, National Historical Commission of the Philippines, Philippine Cultural Education, Presidential Museum & Library (Malacañang), Tempo PH, watawat(dot)net - BROKEN SITE, Wikipedia, Yahoo! News (article by Norman Sison, VERA Files), ZEN Rooms

Sources

(The links for the Presidential Museum & Library are broken, but the uniform infographic has been preserved on archive.org)

Agbayani, Eugemio, III. “The Original Philippine Flag, according to Miss Marcela Agoncillo.” National Historical Commission of the Philippines. June 6, 2017. https://nhcp.gov.ph/original-philippine-flag-according-miss-marcela-agoncillo/. Alvarez, Amorico M., and Nicolas G. Ricafrente. “The First Unfurling of the Philippine National Flag.” Philippine Center for Masonic Studies. Accessed March 01, 2022. http://www.philippinemasonry.org/first-unfurling-of-the-philippine-flag.html. Arevalo, Carminda R. “The Philippine Flag: Symbol of our Sovereignty and Solidarity.” National Historical Commission of the Philippines. September 6, 2012. https://nhcp.gov.ph/the-philippine-flag-symbol-of-our-sovereignty-and-solidarity/. Cabreza, Vicente. “In Baguio museum, flags celebrate victories,” Philippine Daily Inquirer, June 12, 2015. https://newsinfo.inquirer.net/697868/in-baguio-museum-flags-celebrate-victories. “A Graphic Timeline of the Philippine-American War (Part Three).” Presidential Museum and Library. Accessed May 29, 2022. http://malacanang.gov.ph/8298-a-graphic-timeline-of-the-philippine-american-war-part-three/. “Infographic: Army of the First Philippine Republic.” Presidential Museum and Library. Accessed May 29, 2022. http://malacanang.gov.ph/76540-infographic-army-of-the-first-philippine-republic/. Linn, Brian McAllister. The Philippine American War, 1899-1902. Kansas: University Press of Kansas, 2000. Mallari, Perry Gil S. “The Bolomen of the Revolution,” The Manila Times, June 14, 2014. https://www.manilatimes.net/2014/06/14/sports/the-bolomen-of-the-revolution/104227. Meder, William A. “Civilizing 'Em with a Krag : the Story of a Company of U.S. Volunteers in the Philippine Insurrection,” 1978. https://archive.org/details/civilizingemwith00mede. Melendez, Christian Bernard A. “Kalayaan Over Karangyaan - Pursuing Independence in Exchange for Personal Wealth.” National Historical Commission of the Philippines. June 8, 2021. https://nhcp.gov.ph/kalayaan-over-karangyaan-pursuing-independence-in-exchange-for-personal-wealth/. National Historical Commission of the Philippines. Twitter Post. June 9, 2020, 6:00 PM. https://twitter.com/nhcpofficial/status/1270294568504717312?s=21. Ocampo, Ambeth R. “Original or not, it’s still flag of our fathers,” Philippine Daily Inquirer, June 12, 2011. https://newsinfo.inquirer.net/14136/original-or-not-it%E2%80%99s-still-flag-of-our-fathers. Project Vinta. 2020. “On June 9, 1868, patriot and pharmacist Feliciano Jocson was born in Quiapo Manila.” Facebook. June 9, 2020. https://www.facebook.com/pvinta/posts/2687612368152686. “Rout of the Filipinos: American Troops Scatter the Rebels in All Directions.” The Evening Times, November 13, 1899. https://www.gastearsivi.com/gazete/evening_times_dc/1899-11-13/1. Sexton, William Thaddeus. Soldiers in the Sun: An Adventure in Imperialism. The Military Service Publishers Company: 1939. https://archive.org/details/soldiersinthesun000472mbp. Sison, Norman. “An unflagging symbol of nationhood.” Yahoo! News, June 21, 2014. https://ph.news.yahoo.com/blogs/the-inbox/unflagging-symbol-nationhood-232426481.html. United States Philippines Division War Department. Report of E. S. Otis, U. S. Volunteers, on Military Operations and Civil Affairs in the Philippine Islands 1899. (1899). https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=K08tAAAAIAAJ. —. Annual Reports of the War Department: Volume 1, Part 1. U.S. Government Printing Office: 1899. https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=hTcaAAAAMAAJ.

#historical hetalia #hws philippines #war cw #blood cw #death cw #sharp objects cw #footnotes: LOST AND FOUND #arc: revolution #arc: contemporary #long post

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bratkook · 3 years

Text

almost. (m) jjk.

not yet, almost, right now

pairing. jungkook x reader genre. fluff, baby angst, smut word count. 6.4k warnings. two idiots!!, pining, masturbation (m. and f.), use of vibrator, accidental voyeurism?, more feelings come to light!! summary. jungkook tries to be the best wingman he could be in your new venture after your breakup. he could do it, right? note. part two of not yet, some more feelings are exposed, please don’t hate oc she is but a pendeja that doesn’t see the obvious feelings jungkook has but she has good intentions i promise<3 there will most likely be a final part,,if you guys are into it lmao okie bye

The cool summer breeze flows around you as you’re sitting under the shade, eyes focused on the chaos of runny yolk and hashbrowns that is your breakfast. Jungkook on the other hand, is focused on you. His signature yellow shades block out the sun reflecting from passing cars, concealing his eyes just enough for you to not see him blatantly staring at you while you stuff your face.

The charmed smile he has falters slightly when you look directly at him, hashbrown lingering by your lip as you repeat his name. “Sorry, what?”

Your brows come together as you smile at his zoned out state, something you had grown fond of in the years of knowing him, always enjoying the small dazed look that graced his face whenever he was lost in his thoughts. His lips push out slightly in question, curious eyes wondering just what you could have been asking him.

“I was saying that I think I’m giving up on crushes and love.” You say it so easily, mind made up as you grin at him before continuing to shovel hashbrowns into your mouth, only pausing to take a sip of your iced coffee.

Jungkook tries his best to seem unaffected, nodding along in interest as he takes a steady bite of his own food. “Really?”

“Yeah,” you sigh, taking a look around at the people surrounding you: friends having breakfast together and snapping photos, couples feeding each other food with smiles on their faces, a lone man with his dog perched on the seat across from his while he worked on his computer. You briefly wonder if all of them, even the dog, have better luck with love than you do.

“I think I’m cursed,” you continue. “All of my exes have been assholes, and I’ve always been too blind to see it until it’s over and I’m left crying over Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams.”

“Maybe you’re just looking for love in the wrong places,” Jungkook shrugs, internally screaming because he’s who you should be looking at if you wanted love.

Not to toot his own horn, but Jungkook liked to think he was a good guy, a great boyfriend even. His previous track record of relationships could attest to that, all of them ending on mutual terms, still friendly and civil with each other. He’s almost certain if there was a Yelp page for him it would be at least 4.5 stars with comments raving about how great he is, even little anecdotal touches about how he always gave away his hoodies or offered to cook breakfast.

He was a god damn catch, why couldn’t you see that?

“Maybe prince charming is a lot closer than you think,” he grumbles out, stabbing his omelette with a little more force than necessary, fork clanking against the plate. And when you gasp in realization he freezes, slowly looking back up at you and seeing the way your eyes widen.

“Wait, maybe you’re right!” Your hand shoots across the table, gripping onto his forearm and it sends a shock throughout him, skin tingling at your touch. “You know that coffee shop below our building? That cute barista always puts a heart next to my name. Do you think I should ask for his number?”

Jungkook blinks once, slowly twirls his fork in his hand and blinks again before staring up at the sky, mentally asking why he couldn’t just go out and say it. “Hm, I don’t think you should.“

With a defeated sigh you retract your hand, slumping back into your seat and grabbing your iced coffee once more, stirring the straw and ice around as you nod. “True. What if he feels obligated to give it to me just because he doesn’t want to get fired in case I go all Karen on his ass.”

That wasn’t why Jungkook had said not to, but sure, that works too, so he hums along.

“I bet he draws hearts on all the other girls cups too.” You huff, playfully wiping a tear under your eye with a smile.

“I’ve actually—“

“You know what I—“

You both freeze mid sentence, Jungkook’s cheeks tinted a light pink as he stutters on his words, wide eyes staring at you as if he had caught himself before you cut him off. But as you’re about to tell him to go on, he waves you off and urges you to speak first.

“I was just gonna say that maybe I should go through that wild phase people usually go through after breakups.”

He sets his silverware down on the plate and sips his water, giving you an odd look. “Wild phase? Like you wanna dye your hair red and get bangs?”

“No,” you cackle, ruffling a hand through your own hair as you picture yourself with that combination. “I should just go out and hook up with people. I feel like I’ve either been in a relationship or entirely single, so it could be fun right?”

“Uh, maybe...” he trails off, rolling his lips together in thought, not exactly fond of hearing you say that when he had felt the confession about to roll off his tongue. He takes a slow breath, trying to see this from a neutral point, the point of a supportive friend wanting to help you get over a breakup.

“How do you go about it?”

“Me?” he chokes, pointing at his chest as if there was magically some other person you could be addressing.

“Yes, you. Need I remind you, we share a wall between our beds.” You roll your eyes, but the smile on your face shows that you’re speaking of this lightly, not entirely annoyed by the fact that you had heard Jungkook during his own fair share of hook ups.

He’s not ashamed of it, but considering he never really brought up being able to hear you, he thought you’d pretend to never hear him. It wasn’t too often that he had a girl over, the number of hookups only increasing after you got with Hajoon and loosely cut ties with Jungkook. But from what you had heard—and seen thanks to your nosey self looking through peep holes once they left—it was very rarely the same girl.

So to you, Jungkook was a pro at the art of hookups.

“Right, sorry,” he grimaces, a sheepish smile on his lips as he wonders just how many times his activities kept you up at night.

“It’s fine, consider us even.” A teasing laugh follows your statement, enjoying the flustered look on his face, how his cheeks get even darker in embarrassment. Jungkook was used to the two of you talking like this, neither of you having a filter especially when it came to sexual aspects, but he hadn’t had a conversation like this since before you got with Hajoon. It would take some getting used to again.

“So, give me the tips. Where do you find people?”

Jungkook leans back into his chair, arms stretching out on either side of him, short sleeves of his black tee bunching up and revealing more of his tattoos and the rippling of his muscles. With a small laugh he rakes his hand through his fluffy hair, giving you a small smile. “Honestly? Anywhere. I’ve gotten girl’s numbers at the gym and at coffee shops, but bars are the best bet for something quick.”

“Ugh, fuck you and your pretty privilege.”

“What?” he guffaws, smiling wide and showing you his adorable smile as he laughs loudly, not caring about the attention he draws to your table. He doesn’t even realize how the table full of girls is now trying to discreetly stare at him, because his eyes are on you. You see it though, and it further proves your point. “What the hell is pretty privilege?”

Your wild hands gesture towards him, a look of disbelief on your face as you do so. “You! Of course girls line up to hand you their number, have you seen yourself? Pretty privilege,” you jab your fork at him in time with your final words, a smirk on your glossy lips.

Jungkook feels his confidence grow at your casual compliment, tongue prodding at his cheek as he stares down at his food, trying not to smile too hard. You thought he was pretty, that was a win in his book.

“C’mon,” he teases, foot gently nudging your leg underneath the table. “You could totally score someone's number. Plus there's always apps if you just wanna test the water.”

You give your plate a contemplated stare, “Sure, how hard could it be?”

Admittedly, the answer to that question was: not hard at all. You had met all your previous boyfriends in person, through mutual friends or shared classes back in college, never once dipping your toe into the world of Tinder or Bumble. Who knew all it would take was a couple of selfies and the strategic body shot to have boys circling around you like some new-age, slightly filthier version of rapunzel.

Jungkook knew though, not at all shocked by how quickly you get a match the following day when he’s at your place. His eyes are focused on the screen in front of him, helping you beat a level in your favorite game that you had been stuck on. But the second you gasp as if you’ve won the lottery, he pauses the game entirely and gives you an odd look.

“What?”

His answer comes in the form of your phone thrusted in his direction, lit up screen displaying your profile picture and the one of the boy you had just matched with. Jung Hoseok. Jungkook’s eyes narrow as he reads the name, trying to remember it in case he somehow had a friend in common that knew all the dirt on him.

He has a similar pair of yellow shades on his own head, thicker black rims around them and a charming smile on his face. Jungkook chuckles to himself. Yellow shades? How original.

“What do I say?” you question, eyes looking nervous as you wiggle the phone in his face. The small white bar beneath your match urges you to start a conversation, and coming up with the right words to say makes you overthink it all.

“Just say hi and tack on some cute emoji. It’s not that hard,” he laughs, pushing the phone back at you. Jungkook knew you could start the message off any way you wanted and this Jung Hoseok would eat it right up. How could he not, the alluring smile in your profile photo would draw anyone in.

“Okay, I did it.” Your phone is instantly locked and chucked aside in an attempt to be forgotten, choosing to grab the remote out of Jungkook’s hands for another distraction. It only lasts a brief second before you’re killed by the boss Jungkook was trying to defeat.

“Really?” Jungkook huffs, yanking the remote back into his hands, needing a distraction himself. He was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that you were searching for a fuck buddy while he sat beside you. How crazy would it be if he suggested being your fuck buddy, offered to help you through this so called wild phase you were searching for.

No. That’s not what he wants.

Would he enjoy it? Sure. But he could already imagine how much worse his heart would hurt if his feelings came to light and yours were non-existent. That is if you’d even agree to it.

“Relax, he’s probably thinking of what to reply.”

You make a noise of disagreement, fingers itching to unlock your device to see if it was true, slowly inching towards it until you finally grab it and go back onto the app. Jungkook just chuckles as he goes back to helping you with your game, not wanting to look at you as you giggle at your device. He could already imagine what this guy was telling you for you to turn into a giddy mess not even two minutes in.

He tunes it all out, eyes focused on the screen, fingers gripping the remote with a little more force than needed. His concentration helps him though, finally passing the level you’ve been stuck on for the past two weeks.

“You’re welcome,” he sighs, making a show of stretching out and sending you a smile, having it falter slightly when he sees your eyes still focused on the screen of your phone. With a frown he looks back at the television, saving the game before turning it off altogether.

Once he gets up from the couch, making his way over to the media console to store the remotes, is when you look up at him. “You’re right, this is easy!”

Jungkook doesn’t feel the usual pride that comes with being right, but the cheerful look on your face prevents him from feeling salty. Coming back towards the couch, he sits beside you once more, facing you as he rests his elbow on the back cushion to lean on. “Told you so.”

He keeps that same smile on his face as you mention how quick Hoseok was to ask you out on a date, even as you bring up the fact that this date would be at his place, and Jungkook could decipher netflix and chill any way some greasy boy tried to conceal it.

“I hope he knows I don’t want anything serious,” you mumble, chewing on your fingernail as you scroll through the messages.

Jungkook could almost laugh at how blissfully unaware you were of the piranha infested water that was the great sea of Tinder. Of course this yellow sunglass wearing wannabe version of him knows you don’t want anything serious, why else would he be so quick to invite you over with the cheeky excuse to watch movies.

All he can do is shrug as he stares at you, lips pressed together in an effort to not say something that would totally ruin everything. Instead, Jungkook does everything he can to be the best version of a wingman you could get. He tells you the ins and outs of hookups, how you should definitely not text him the minute you leave his place and tell him you had fun, don’t talk about anything super personal involving family or your work, and if he doesn’t offer to go down on you but expects a blowjob he’s a loser.

It’s solid advice that you mentally jot down, subjecting him to further questions your mind comes up with and even asking him for help on an outfit via text the night of your hangout with Jung Hoseok.

Jungkook stares at the photos for a little too long if he’s being honest. They weren’t spectacular selfies that you had taken much effort for, their sole purpose being showing off the outfit, but the way you look so focused as you snapped the shot had him zooming into your face and smiling like an idiot. When you double text him with a long line of question marks he snaps out of it, deciding on the second option you picked of mom jeans and a cropped shirt. Cute and casual, and definitely something Jungkook preferred, but he’d never tell you that.

When you finally text him a thumbs up and tell him you’re on your way out he just hearts the message before locking his device and trudging to the living room. It’s not often that he wallows in self pity, spacing those days out so far he barely remembers them. But they usually went exactly like this, ordering a large meat lovers pizza with extra cheese, drinking far too many Mike’s hard lemonade—because despite how much they made his stomach hurt they were tasty so he didn’t care—and binge watching his comfort show: Modern Family.

But even as he sulks on his couch, practically sinking into the cushions with horrible posture and a slice of pizza resting on his chest, he can’t find it in himself to chuckle at Cam and Mitch’s usual banter. He’s too busy thinking about which movie you’re currently watching, if you were watching it. Who’s Jungkook kidding though, you were totally getting your guts rearranged right now.

Taking an aggressive bite out of the crust he frowns and raises the volume up on his television, attempting to drown the mocking voice in his head calling him a loser for not admitting to his feelings. He knew this, knew he should have said something when he wanted to at breakfast, but Jungkook was afraid that if he confessed as you were talking about hooking up, that you’d see him as taking advantage of a situation instead of being genuine. I mean who wouldn’t? You say you want something casual and suddenly he’s spilling his heart out and you’re supposed to believe he’s not some pig trying to butter you up. He didn’t want to get labeled as a creepy neighbor after the good times you’ve had.

“So stupid,” he grumbles to himself as he takes another swig, the last drops of the alcohol hitting his tongue with a tangy aftertaste. As he sits up to place the empty bottle onto his coffee table his muscles ache, neck stiff from the unfortunate position it had been subjected to for the last three hours. With a small huff he’s rolling his shoulders, reaching for his discarded phone to see the time—and also check if you’d sent him some SOS text—but he finds nothing besides the bright numbers indicating that it was nearing midnight.

In true pity party day fashion, he doesn’t even bother cleaning up after his mess, just tossing the dirty dishes into the sink to be washed tomorrow when he would force himself to be in a better mood. Instead, he grabs a water and his phone and waddles into his bedroom.

The moonlight illuminates the space enough for him to keep the light switch off, undressing from his crumb covered sweats and shirt, choosing to remain in his boxers as he slipped under the cold duvet. The sheets feel fresh against his hot cheeks, flush from the alcohol, cooling him down and making his body relax.

Jungkook knows he should sleep, needing to be up early tomorrow for work, but he can’t stop his mind from wandering into dangerous territory. His buzzed brain has no qualms imagining exactly what you were doing right now, wondering if you’d be the type to act shy at a guy’s house for the first time, if you’d initiate the first move or not. Jungkook had only seen it up close once under the flash of strobe lights and the haze of alcohol, but he can still picture the soft smile on your face before you go in for a kiss, and he grumbles under his breath when he realizes that he wouldn’t be the one kissing you tonight.

What he doesn’t know, is that you wouldn’t be the one getting kissed tonight either. The Jung Hoseok you had perceived through Tinder, assuming he was all casual and DTF with his netflix and chill suggestion, had been anything but. What you thought would be a steamy night, ended up becoming a nice dinner and comedy watched, morphing into some version of game night where you discovered he was a little too competitive than you were used to. The only action you got was a kiss to your cheek as he walked you to your car and a promise for another date. A promise you would not be keeping.

So as Jungkook lays in bed while his thoughts turn into some fantasy of you moaning out his name, you shuffle into your bedroom and slip into your pajamas with a defeated sigh. You had already texted your best friend telling her what a bust tonight had been, deciding to just tell Jungkook all about it tomorrow because you knew he was most likely fast asleep now. And as you settle under your own covers, inches away from Jungkook with only a wall seperating you, you decide to just call it a night and pretend it never happened.

Just as you shut your eyes, nuzzling into your pillow, you hear the first moan come from behind the wall. A small cry of despair escapes you as you bury your face into your sheets, tugging them up and over your head to block the sound of Jungkook getting some action the same night you had been left high and dry. Of course he would, assuming you’d be getting the same treatment at your date's place, why wouldn’t he take advantage of your absence and not have to muffle his partner’s moans the way he usually did.

You’re just going to ignore it, until you hear a moan that sounds strangely like your own name. Maybe it's wishful thinking on your part, your horny brain deciding to pretend that Jungkook was calling for you instead of whoever he was with. It might be a little wrong for you to have that fantasy of your neighbor, but you aren’t blind. He’s hot, and adorably sweet, the perfect package for any girl he tried to swoon. And judging by the cries you’ve heard of lucky girls prior, you know he was good in bed.

You’re just desperate now. That’s the excuse you tell yourself as you slowly settle onto your back, feeling your body warm up when you focus on his muffled groans, desperate and needy. As your hand slowly slides down your shirt, you shut your eyes, biting down onto your lip to muffle any sound you could make when your fingers slip underneath your pants and past your underwear.

Jungkook on the other hand doesn’t care about his volume. His boxers are tugged down his thighs, knees bent as he slowly ruts into his sticky palm. His hand is tacky with the lube he had messily squirted on, thick cock glistening in the light coming in from his window. He can’t look away from it, mouth dropped open as he groans, imagining it was your hand tightly wrapped around him, your spit covering his cock instead of that strawberry flavored lube.

“Ah fuck,” he moans, shutting his eyes and throwing his head back onto his soft pillows when his thumb rubs along his slit. It continues to leak beads of precum, quickly wiped away to join the mess on his cock when his hand slides back down and squeezes along his base.

You hear that loud and clear, and when the female voice you’re expecting never follows, you realize he must be taking care of himself. It makes you feel a little less guilty now as your fingers trail along your slit, collecting the slick coating your folds before you softly circle your clit. A choked gasp fills the air at the small sensation, your body already wired after having expected to get some action tonight; it totally had nothing to do with your hot neighbor jacking off inches away from you.

With your eyes fluttering shut, you strain your ears to make out any other noise, muffling your own groans with a hand pressed against your mouth. The bed creaks lightly underneath you as you roll your hips into your hand, getting into a smooth rhythm that makes your body buzz.

Slowly, your imagination runs wild, and you wonder just what Jungkook was thinking of as he did this. Was he watching some porn as he did it, using his own filthy thoughts to push himself to ecstacy, or was this just something he needed to do to be able to sleep?

“Shit, so good,” he groans out, voice raspy, but you can sense his desperation through the drywall. It’s what has you sinking a single digit into your drenched entrance, biting down onto your lower lip when you feel the glide of your walls as you start to thrust into yourself, easing in another and mewling at the slight stretch.

Jungkook would absolutely give his left leg to know what your pussy felt like, he didn’t even care how disgusting he sounded by admitting that to himself, it was true. Blame it on the hard lemonade that made his stomach ache and his mind unfiltered, but he could almost visualize how you’d look above him, could practically feel the warmth of your core wrapped around him, dripping down his length as he fucked into you.

He knows you’re loud in bed, never being one to conceal your cries of pleasure and he would die happy to hear his name come out of your mouth as you creamed his cock. But for now, his hand would have to do.

His lids feel too heavy, jaw slack as the pleasure flows through his body. The wet squelch of his palm fills the room, mingling with his pants and groans, air growing thick around him. It’s been a while since Jungkook had jacked off, and even longer since he’d been able to do it shamelessly in bed without the fear of you hearing him, but now that he thought you were gone he can’t find it in himself to cover his mouth or groan into his pillows like he usually did.

The pent up frustration fogs up his mind, cranks the lust up to 11 until his free hand is gripping his sheets beside him, bed frame creaking as his thrusts speed up. The thuds of his headboard hitting the wall come from behind you, a choked moan blending in with it, and it has you scrambling for your bedside drawer.

The pajamas you wear get yanked off your legs and tossed aside after you grab your trusty vibrator, settling onto your back once more with huff. All it takes is a press of a button for the device to come to life, buzzing in your hand as you trail it up your thighs. A gasp escapes you when you pass it over your mound, brushing against your clit and sending a jolt of pleasure through you.

“Oh my god,” you whimper when you finally press the vibrating head directly onto your sensitive clit, legs spreading further apart as you increase the intensity. You could clearly hear the raise in Jungkook’s moans, and that's when the first irrational thought pops into your mind.

How easy would it be for you to head over to his place and deal with both of your problems. Surely Jungkook wouldn’t have an issue with you offering to suck his dick, wouldn’t mind letting you sink down onto him if it was just a friendly favor.

The little devil on your shoulder tells you it would be mutually beneficial, urging you to get up and walk to Jungkook’s with the vibrator still in your hand, but you can’t. This alone felt like enough of a dirty secret, a secret you’d have absolutely no problem keeping because although you feel slightly ashamed, you couldn’t deny how turned on you are.

The flashes of all the times you’ve heard Jungkook with other people play in your mind, the screams of his name that he tried to muffle, pleas for him to go faster, the resounding smack of his palm on flesh that always left you wide eyed when you heard it. And you start to wonder if maybe you’d be into that, the feeling of his large tattooed hand connecting with your ass, gently tapping against your cheek for you to open up for his cock.

That fantasy is like the first ember needed to start the fire inside of you, spreading uncontrollably until you’re bucking into your vibrator, teeth biting down on your lip to keep any potential moans of his name from slipping out.

“Fuck, fuck,” he chants, the same fire burning within him. Maybe your minds are linked telepathically, his thoughts gravitating to the same filthy fantasy you had. Jungkook was very much an ass man, knowing very well how good your butt looked in jeans from how often he stared at it, he could only imagine how good it would look as he fucked you from behind. Picturing the way it would bounce back from the force of his thrusts, eyes glued to the way you’d soak his cock, mimicking the tightness of your walls with a firm grip of his palm.

Jungkook can sense his orgasm approaching, leaves his chest feeling tight as he pants, legs gliding along his sheets for leverage to continue fucking into his hand. You’re not far off either, vibrator set to the highest setting you can practically feel your bones rattling, free hand slipped under your shirt as you pinch at your pebbled nipples. You’re both on the brink of falling over the edge, the same question playing in your mind: where would you want Jungkook to cum?

As his moans get breathier, whiny in a way you’d never imagine them to be, you mentally decide that you’d want him to cum inside of you, wanting to see the way his cute face would twist up in pleasure as he filled you up. Jungkook hopes you would, throwing all responsible thinking aside for that sweet moment of ecstasy and the mental picture is enough to finally push him over.

“Ah shit, baby,” he cries out in his room—thankfully having half the mind to not cry out your name as he came—eyes rolling back as his cock twitches in his palm, ribbons of cum splashing onto his stomach and chest. The warmth hits his skin, more droplets continuing to leak out as his palm milks his orgasm, stomach hiccuping and back arching from the stimulation.

The choked moan is what has your own orgasm washing over you, your palm slapping over your mouth so hard you know you’ll feel the ache later but you don’t care. A muffled gasp blends with the buzzing of your toy, thighs tensing up as your body tingles and writhes around on your sheets.

The only thing you can think of is Jungkook, the charming smile he’d give you when he listened to you rant about anything, his annoying habit of rolling up his sleeves to show off his muscles, the cute scowl on his face whenever you managed to beat him at Mario Kart, and the soft feeling of his alcohol coated lips on yours. It leaves you feeling warm as your orgasm flows through you, lying limp on the bed as you mewl at the sensitivity.

When you realize your thoughts have strayed from ‘pure sexy Jungkook fantasyland’, and switched over to ‘Jeon Jungkook your adorable neighbor’, your eyes go wide, finger immediately going to turn off the vibrator. In your haste to shut it off, you click the wrong button, changing the pulsing settings and nearly screaming when the device starts to buzz erratically against your overly sensitive clit.

With a strained gasp you yank it away from yourself, turn it off and throw it aside, horribly miscalculating the size of your bed and watching in horror as it lands on the floor with a loud thud. The complete silence from both sides makes the noise sound deafening, and all you can do is sit on your bed, half naked, and hope Jungkook is still too busy basking in his post orgasm bliss to hear the bang.

Although the blood is still pumping in his ears, he heard the thud clearly. His heart stops in his chest as he lays there, too scared to breathe in case he’d somehow make too much noise, suddenly afraid of being too loud after he had just made a show of himself. Jungkook slowly sits himself up, grimacing at the stickiness on his stomach before pressing his ear against his headboard to try to hear anything else.

All you want to do is yank the covers over yourself and go to sleep, pretend your horrendous date and your dirty thoughts about your friend never happened. The sobering mentality that comes after an orgasm settles into you, leaving you staring at the floor with a crease between your brows as you wonder what the hell came over you.

When Jungkook hears nothing else, he sighs in relief, hauling himself out of bed to grab another pair of underwear before entering his bathroom to clean up. As he stares at his own reflection in the mirror, he frowns at how pathetic he feels. The throbbing headache of his earlier drinks is already starting to kick in, body now sweaty from exertion, stomach covered in his cum.

“Such a loser,” he grumbles out, grabbing a wad of tissues to wipe away the mess on his skin before walking back out. Here he was, getting off to the thought of you, while you were out having your post-breakup wild phase.

His hands grab his phone as he reaches his nightstand, flopping back onto the bed and unlocking the device. It’s now one in the morning, and you still hadn’t text him, which either meant you were having the time of your life, or Jungkook had to track down this Jung Hoseok. The slightly protective side of him won’t allow him to sleep until he hears back from you, fingers already typing out a message and hitting send.

Jungkook 1:23am : you safe or am i gonna have to go all Liam Neeson on this guy?

When your phone vibrates on your nightstand you gasp, grabbing it before it could make any more noise. Seeing Jungkook’s name flash on the screen makes your blood run cold, already imagining what the text could be: calling you dirty for getting off on him, making fun of you, telling you to come ove—no stop that.

Finally mustering up the courage, you open it up, a small laugh spilling out as you read his message, relief flooding through you as you realize that meant he thought you were still with Hoseok.

Y/N 1:26am : oh yeah, you gonna show him your very particular set of skills? lol

Y/N 1:26am : i just got home though

Y/N 1:26am : like right now

Y/N 1:26am : still sitting in my living room

Y/N 1:27am : haha

He laughs at your string of texts, something you hear as he settles into bed. Jungkook ebbs away the small feeling of jealousy in his chest, trying to see the silver lining of this. You weren’t rushing to tell him anything about your date which meant it either went so good you wanted to keep it to yourself, or it was subpar and you wouldn’t be seeing this yellow sunglass wearing copycat again.

Jungkook 1:29am : glad you got home safe, goodnight y/n!

Sending back a goodnight text, you lock your phone and slide deeper into bed, pulling the sheets up to your chin as you stare at the ceiling. You already know the only thing you’ll be dreaming about is your cute neighbor with a bunny smile and body proportions that contradicted it. And as Jungkook lays in bed, wondering if he’ll have to push the crush aside, you’re barely coming to terms with the fact that the small glowing feeling that came with being around him might be something else.

Every single one of your interactions gets rewinded and played back like a seamless montage, remembering just how many almost moments there was between you. The way his eyes would flash down to your lips whenever you playfully argued on your couch, hands yanking the remotes from his in a game of tug of war that left you way too close in the heat of the moment. How he’d let you braid his hair anytime you found a new youtube tutorial, his starry eyes staring at you with so much adoration it made your stomach flip, brushing it off as love for a friend.

Then came the jokes from your friends, constantly teasing you about Jungkook, playfully saying they would try to sleep with him just because they liked the scowl on your face, and how quickly you tried to play it off. How the sweet old lady from the convenience store downstairs always assumed you were dating when you came in together, the low jab she sent when you walked in with Hajoon and she said she preferred you with Jungkook. That argument had been one of the ones that left him bolting out of your apartment with a nasty slam of the door, spewing nasty words at you, calling you blind for not seeing it and dumb for acting like you had no idea what he was talking about.

And for the first time, you come to the sudden realization that Hajoon was right. His deep set insecurities about Jungkook had stemmed from scraps of the truth, not just from him but from you too. The amount of times you’d find a way to slide Jungkook’s name into a conversation about anything, telling him funny stories about him, too lost in thought to see that while you were giggling as you reminisce, he was staring at you in disbelief.

The final thought that makes you want a blackhole to swallow you up, comes in the form of you, grabbing Jungkook’s face before planting a kiss on his unsuspecting lips at the club. You want to scream into your pillow as you recall it, how he had almost leaned back in to kiss you again before you had sobered him up with your dumb question rooted in revenge.

“Oh my god, I’m such a bitch.” you whimper. Subjecting Jungkook to be your wingman, jokingly telling him he should be your fake boyfriend more often, asking him for tips with hook ups. If everyone else could see it but you, he probably thought you were purposely friendzoning him.

The guilt piles on top of you as you start to piece together every moment that flew over your head, only making you bury yourself deeper into your sheets. It makes your heart twist, taking note of how Jungkook was always so quick to put a smile on his face despite how naive you were to it all, wondering if maybe it was too late to try to make something of this now. How many times could you call Jungkook ‘bro’ and treat him like you didn’t see him romantically, before he decided there was no hope for him anymore.

So as you force yourself to sleep, nerves and uncertainty weighing heavy on your mind, Jungkook snores away as he dreams of the almost moments that could have been.

#heartsforbts #btswritingcafe #btsghostie #bangtansorciere #bangtaninn #ficswithluv #btscreatorscorner #jungkook smut #jeongguk smut #bts smut #jungkook angst #jeon jungkook #bts fics #new

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stormblessed95 · 2 years

Text

NOW 3 In Chicago

My thoughts and commentary as I watch the NOW DVDs! I asked if people wanted me to post my thoughts as I watched and the majority did, so here we are. There is only 1 DVD in this package again, about an hour and a half long. The other part of this was just the photobook and extra photo goodies, such as posters. Reminder that these are just my thoughts, it's not very organized. You get me typing it out as I go like I'm reacting to a friend. Somewhat like a bullet point format in a way.

This was filmed during 150720 - 150723 during their Red Bullet Tour, they performed in Chicago on the 24th (Tae confirms first day of shooting is the 20th). This Taekook ft. Mini & Moni Bangtan Bomb that was released in 2016 was actually filmed during these photoshoots too. I also actually was able to find these on YouTube subbed. You can watch them if you want, part 1 and part 2. You can see their tweets from that time frame as well here, including 2 tweets jikook made together.

DVD opens up with Hobi struggling to put contacts in and I was not prepared! Watching people touch their eyeballs gives me chills. Lol Jimin just laughing at him too 😂 JK so proud of his colored lenses! Jin is so cute. "I was trying to be cool, but I tripped." Jimin with his reddish hair and that bandana around his neck, the jewelry and that makeup, and it WORKS for him. Easily my favorite look. I swear, I'm obsessed 😍 HopeKook always so ready to break into dance together. The eyeliner for everyone is so intense. Lol

Tae 😭 "the future me who is watching this, what are you doing? I must be successful in a year, right?" Oh who is going to tell him?! Minimoni walking around Chicago together with a self camera, exploring. I love them. Jimin strutting around Chicago with a self cam looking fierce as heck and so happy. One of my favorite clips I swear. It is giving off so much energy, the vibes. I love it

Hobi was so nervous and scared through his whole shoot on that bridge but you would never be able to tell! He kills it. It's interesting (and the photos turned out crazy good) that they did unit shoots for this location with Namkook in one unit and then the other 5 in another too.

3J being so goofy in the car. 😍 Hopekook messing around with the camera, hearing Jimins laugh as they have English Time too. Lol Yoongi has got the MOST colorful hair for these shoots and I adore everything about it.

Sope photoshoots being the best thing ever! Yoongi unable to stop giggling the whole time and complaining about Hobi taking his sandwich as he is already just handing it over happily. They just make me so happy.

Jikook unit shoot 😭 there was just so much cuteness in here. "Now for Jungkook and Jimin who are always squabbling." Lmao we know editors, but they are so cute. And at the end of their shooting, Jimin joking about JK being taller today and just JK fully checking Jimin out from behind, head to toe, wow. Okay 😂 before agreeing and teasing about being taller. Jimin doing his solo shoot and struggling hard blowing bubbles with the gum. Only for us to hear JK still there watching his solo shoot and teasing him in the background while waiting for his own solo shoot. Lol their unit shoots together are always so special

Namjoon being the cutest and most precious little bean during the Taenamjin unit shoot. I don't know what he was doing, but it was adorable. Lol and can we all agree that Pink is Jins color. Yes? Great. Tae doing the opening line for Dope and being so goofy interrupting Jins shoot, while Jin just smiles so fondly 😂 Tae almost taking Jimin to the ground by jumping on his back during during group shoot 😅😂 and getting his revenge on Tae while JK was just trying to say goodbye to the camera. The chaos of them all together is beautiful.

Team missions for photoshoots again! Teams were created off of a random draw this time. I'm excited for watching the process of the insanity I know is going to come. Lol we have NamGi, Taekook and HopeJinJi teams! They created their trio name themselves after picking their teams now and Tae created Taekook after that too. NamGi said they would be 6 years, for the length of their friendship 🥺

Everyone talking about how Namsen tower is super popular for couples, but that it has a really good view and good food and good music. Tae wanted to be able to go. Jimin said he went over his last vacation, Jin and Joon both said it was a really good spot for food and music. And they all got to go up to the top of the tower for some time! Vmin were so cute too

Next day of shooting starts off with Jimin pretending to throw grenades at Jungkook who is peacefully trying to take scenery photos! Lol Joon starting the photos off with some crazy dance moves. Jihope watching so fondly as he acts crazy. Jimin going "he's cute" and Hobi going "he looks like he has no eyebrows" 😂😂 The editors putting a horror movie scream over the footage of the photographer rescuing Hobi from a spider on the tree is so rude 😂 Hobi is so sweet though, giving us flowers 💜 Tae filming with a puppy!! The cutest thing ever. JK wants to go play with that dog so bad. Lol this shoot was so chaotic. Lol there was SO MUCH energy, particularly from Tae!

Next shoot! I'm never not going to laugh at Jhopes energy. He has so much of it! Joon just tolerating everything he throws at him. Jimin complaining about his hyung always hitting his chest anytime he wears a dress shirt cracks me up, before it turns into a childish slapping pushing fight between the two as they giggle. Lol JinKook on a ferris wheel too! Their smiles were precious. Jhope pushing people out of the camera view consistently this whole shoot 😅

The next day they finally start working on their missions. These are always so funny. HopeJinJi decide to be thieves. Jimin explaining what some of them will do, just for Hobi to come and scoop Jimin up bridal style and say "okay. Lets go!" NamGi decide to do a horror movie parody with ghosts. And while they are nicely explaining their concept idea, we see JK hanging upside down off the railing at the top of the stairs. Lmao and he doesn't get down when other people talk to him, but when we hear Jimin behind the camera call him and tell him to be careful, he gets up and off the railing finally. Lol that cut below, with added captions for Jimin 🥰 Jimin worries about him and JK just immediately gets back down. Also he is insane, lmao I love him. Yoongi was so excited to be a ghost. Lol so excited. Taekook doing a Pokémon theme shoot, I love it.

vimeo

Taekook did their shooting first and omfg, the face paint. They are making sure they protray their storyline well though, planning for each photo cut perfectly! They did a whole shoot and really committed. Lmao to the wild Pokémon (Tae) to the trainer (JK) finding and then fighting the Pokémon. Winning and capturing him in his pokeball (an apple lol). And victory shots. This was so extra and they did great 🤣 HopeJinJi doing a home alone themed shoot! Lol Jimin being "home alone" and 2seok being the thieves. Omg they were so cute and did such a good job too. Yoongi was soooo into being a ghost for this photoshoot. It's so endearing. Lmfao having the time of his life honestly. RM at the start, "it's nice he is so enthusiastic about this," and RM towards the end, "he keeps coming up with new ideas. I wish it would stop. I want to be done." 😂 they are so unintentionally funny. I love them!

JK so bored waiting for filming and went to go bug Jhope by tickling his feet and pinching him while he was trying to nap 😅 then jikook filming together, Jimin continuously zooming in on JKs face, just totally drapped across his lap as the cuddle while playing with the camera. "Jungkook-ah has a habit of kissing whenever he sees the camera" okay Jimin!

Jungkook telling Suga to give a 200% mischievous smile while he films his individual shooting before going over to watch Jimins shoot, which is next. All his giggles before he starts going in on his "oh he is so good looking" and "oh what a sexy expression" compliments and then over and over saying "oh I want to have you." Jungkook PLEASE. I have such a hard time watching this, the second hand embarrassment I get 😅 my post over THAT comment is here for those who want to read it. Lmao the editors, "he wants Jimin, but it ends." Please that doesn't make it any better 😭😭

Yoonminhopekook doing a unit shoot together. Yoonminkook tickling the heck out of Hobi for photos and 3J pushing Yoongi around on a skateboard. They are so cute. NamTaeJin were so chill in comparison as a group! Lol and their group shoots in the house were precious and chaotic as per usually. Right before it started, we see Jimin giving JK a bit of a neck massage too before they start filming as he is on the floor right in front of him. Sooo sweet. Just for Tae to put JK immediately in a headlock for photos 😂 Everyone tickling Hobi again too, someone save Jhope and everyone then tickling Kookie. It's nice they have fun as much as possible doing all these photoshoots.

Finally back in Korea and getting to see how their missions went. Them giggling over their team names is all so cute. Taekook saying they were happy to be on a team since other members can be more quiet at times. NamGi saying they were happy to work together since they hadn't been in a group together much before. HopeJinJi were so cute too talking about how good their teamwork is and how Jimin was their groups spy. Plus Jin spent that whole segment with his leg propped over Hobi's leg and tucked under Jimins arm. Lmao I love that for him! Everyone laughing super hard at how weird their photos turned out, and NamGi being like oh ours turned out so good, we look good, we did good. 🤣 Yoongi LOVED this concept, my goodness.

Omg first prize for this mission is $300 to a restaurant. That is QUITE the prize for real! Everyone else thinking they will win, and then there is Taekook saying they think Jimin will win, cuties. Tae saying he knows where Hobi would put their gift card and making plans to steal it 😂😂 Taekooks photos were so silly, Jimin was giggling so hard, yet so quietly about it too. Lol everyone was so sweet though "good looking guys look good even when they are trying to look ugly." HopeJinJi photo review turned into a roasting Jin session from the other teams 🤣 please. Lol NamGi won with just 4 more votes over the HopeJinJi team and got the gift certificate. The cheering they did was so cute!! Tae wouldn't leave JKs ear alone either or stop hitting him with the paper. Lol why are they like this? Jimin so sweet thanking all the staff who worked with them. He was so quick to leave though after his thank yous. Tae right on his heels! And ending the DVD with cute self filmed footage of NamGi's Korean Beef date with their well earned prize money was the perfect ending for sure 🥺🥺🥺

This was so cute and had so many amazing moments between everyone. I love getting to watch them all have fun together too. Thanks for letting me share my thoughts! You can find my thoughts over the first 2 NOW DVDs as well on my masterlist 💜💜

#my thoughts over now in Chicago #my thoughts over bts now 3 dvd #jikook in now dvds #jikook in now 3 #Vimeo

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gummygowon · 3 years

Text

cute relationship things with ateez!

genre: fluff (a lot)

warnings: none :)

established relationship!

a/n: i meant to post this like two weeks ago but i never finished it so consider this an early valentine’s day gift <3 ;)

seonghwa:

for some reason, i feel like seonghwa likes to read books

with that being said, on lazy days where you guys didn’t want to get up and do anything

you guys would read books !!!

before you guys would read some were recommendations from each other on your own

and then maybe rant to each other over little details about the book like how the main character went back to their toxic ex or how the ending of a book was so bad

“seonghwa, how did you even read this?!? the stupid ass main character keeps going back to that one jerk! like does she not realize she deserves more than his ugly ass???!!!?”

“y/n, just keep reading.”

“but hwa-”

turns out the main character got with the other woman yayyyyy!!! fuck shitty men

i don’t know how it happened but you guys started your own little book club with each other

so you guys could finally talk rant together at the same time about the book

so since you guys started to read the same book and if you guys found down time together you would read together

like, imagine it’s a peaceful friday night

seonghwa is back from work and so are you

you guys already showered and ate dinner

you’re just reading and then seonghwa just scoops you up and then puts you in between his legs with your back against his chest

and you’re like “wtf bro?”

and he’s just like, “what? i wanna read too???”

“didn’t you like read ahead tho??”

“yeah, but i wanna read it again.”

that was a fatass lie

he just wanted to be close to you

hongjoong:

ok so, we all know that this man is hella busy all the time

mans is the leader, song writer, producer, dancer, rapper (which is why he is good at all positions)

but you were patient with him and whenever he goes days without seeing you due to his busy ass schedule he would make it up to you yk what i mean

but on the more chill days when you saw hongjoong or even the days where he was cooped in his studio (you would visit him there because sometimes you just had to see him)

you guys would just lay on the couch, just enjoying each other’s presence and not feel like you have to make up for lost time

you would be on the bottom on your phone or reading a magazine/book

then hongjoong would be at the top with his head on your stomach as he would be writing down lyrics that came to mind

killing two birds with one stone you feel me

sometimes you would show him a funny meme that you found or quote something that you just read to him

“hongjoong, look at the way he fell!” you would be dying of laughter

and then he wouldn’t notice because he was really roped into making lyrics

but you also didn’t see him focusing so much because you were of course laughing at the kid that accidentally got bitchslapped off the couch because of their sibling

“joongie look!!!”

“what is it?”

you would then show him what happened and then he would look at with that “you really interrupted me for this??” type of look

“i just lost my train of thought for this song because you wanted to show me this kid falling off of a couch???”

“yes?”

he would just bring a hand to his face and think what tf? why tf? and then slowly start laughing because of what just happened

“see, wasn’t it funny?”

“a child getting hurt isn’t funny, y/n” he would laugh while scolding you

yunho:

yunho powers im sorry for this one

alright so, it’s night time

you guys are about to go to bed after a long day or work/school whatever

your eyes are fluttering closed because the day got you beat beat

but then yunho just kisses your face

and then you open your eyes slowly again to see yunho look like he just got caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to do

like imagine a kid that just got caught drawing on the walls

that’s what his face would look like

he’s just laying there like “i thought you were asleep...”

“i was just about to...”

yunho feels lowkey guilty now because you’re awake now and he knows you had a long day

he just couldn’t resist kissing you

you just looked so pretty and peaceful sleeping

mans was reminded by the universe themself about how lucky he was being able to date you

like, godamn what did he do in his past life to deserve you?

ok, back to this reaction idea thing-

yunho would apologize for waking you up with his cheeks a nice rosy color

you just look at him with tired eyes

“i’ll forgive you, if you give me more kisses.”

and yunho’s smile just lights up the whole damn room and he’s like oh? say less

so he goes to kissing your face

like all over

your nose

your cheeks

forehead

basically anywhere ok?

and you end up laughing because it tickles

but you just want him to kiss your lips which he does

... eventually lmao

but when he does your still laughing which causes him to laugh

he tells you “i love you, did you know that?”

and you get all flustered and shit but you still keep that playful energy around

“i love you too, but you aren’t forgiven just yet”

which leads to more kisses :))))

yeosang:

ok so you’re now the busy one

yeosang has so much respect for you because holy shit how do you balance that busy ass schedule of yours

your homework loads were no jokes

then to add to that you have a job which was even more stressful

it was amazing how you can manage all that and still keep a smile on your face

you also had major respect for yeosang as an idol

the industry was not a place to fuck around

you couldn’t be happier that your boyfriend was lucky enough to have a group who actually cared and supported each other

speaking of ateez, yeosang isn’t the most touchy person in the world

you didn’t mind of course, you’re the same way

however, when he did give you cuddles and kisses you would be a blushing mess

a sort of rare sight that yeosang loved to see

anyways, one night you were busy writing those argumentative essays that you were sure that your fingers would fall off by the time you were finished

you were working on it ever since you got home from school (with the occasional food and bathroom breaks )to the time when yeosang came back from practice

you moved to your shared bed by the time the sweaty boy came home and he was surprised that you were working on one subject for so long

the stupid piece was almost finished by the time yeosang was out of the shower

however, you didn’t even notice

you were too immersed in your writing to notice

yeosang took this as an opportunity to sit behind you and wrap his arms around your waist and watch over your shoulder as you worked

and of course, he would kiss your cheek occasionally

this was super sweet gesture but yeosang but you didn’t the notice that he wrapped his arms around you

“ai yah! what the hell?” you yelled and turned around to see your boyfriend clutching his chest

“oh it’s just you.”

yeosang would give you a deadpanned look and be like, “yeah, who else tf???”

you would apologize and kissing his cheek before returning to back to work

which yeosang would return to hugging your waist and keep his head on your shoulder

and give you occasional kisses on your cheek or neck

after that night, it became a weekly occurrence

which you loved of course, who wouldn’t love their bf cuddling them while they chased their bag

san:

i am very excited for this one

ok so, san loves playing with your hair

it’s just so much fun

running his fingers through it or just attempting to braid it or put it into a tiny ponytail

he loved it

he would probably always play with your while you were watching tv together, sitting together in the car, or even before you guys fall asleep

then one day after san came home early from work

you guys were chilling on the bed watching the latest k-drama that came out since san made you wait so you guys could watch it together

san was in between your legs with his back leaning against your chest

and that’s when you decided to run your fingers through his soft, fluffy hair

that’s also when san asked you to braid his hair

“sure, what type of braid though?”

“there’s different kinds????”

“yes, san. now pick one.” you gave him your phone that was pulled up to different types braids.

“i want the french ones. they sound fancy.”

you roll your eyes and start sectioning his hair into two sections and start braiding his hair and lightly pull on the pink strands because you know san likes his hair pulled

so you doing his hair right

and you begin rambling about your day/week

talking about whatever interesting happened to you because you know that san likes hearing you talk no matter what it’s about

however, you were knee deep into talking about the latest drama at work that you didn’t even realize that san stopped talking

“san?”

he didn’t answer and his head would be dipping down so low you were surprised you didn’t fall over

“baby?”

san still wouldn’t respond to you

but this time he just flipped over so his head would be on your stomach as he wrapped your arms around your stomach

“mmmmmmm?”

“nevermind love, just sleep.”

he would respond by burying his head further into your stomach and tightened his hold around you

you kissed his head and ran your fingers through his hair which lulled san to sleep even more

“goodnight sannie.”

mingi:

you have been best friends with song mingi ever since you moved into the tiny neighborhood that you call home

it all started when your parents brought you over to your next door neighbor’s house for breakfast on a cold saturday morning

you were extremely shy when you were little so the only thing you could remember about your first experience with mingi was hiding behind your mother’s leg for the first hour of being there and watching the young boy play with his toy cars and planes before he finally offered a pirate ship to you

ever since that unforgettable saturday, you pretty much spent the rest of your childhood with mingi

you guys were practically joined at the hip

even when you were getting endlessly teased by your classmates for the first month of school for having an accent whenever you spoke

which resulted in you running to the bathroom crying

not even a minute later, you heard someone burst through the girls’ bathrrom

“y/n?”

you peaked your head out of the stall to see your tall neighbor looking out of breath

“mingi, you aren’t supposed to be here!” you said in between sobs

“it’s okay, i don’t care.” he said as he awkwardly wrapped his arms around you. “are you okay?”

you shook your head no looking at him with tears running down your face

the poor boy was internally freaking out since he has no clue on how to comfort people (especially if they’re a girl)

he was like eight at the time give him a little break

so of course, his first reaction was to make you laugh somehow

and he did this by randomly recreating the “boots and cats, boots and cats” rhythm after seeing siri do it in a youtube video and started to bop his head

surprised by his sudden movements, you laughed out of pure confusion

as soon as mingi saw the corner of your lips flip upwards he began rapping faster to the point where he was gasping for breath leading him into a coughing fit

“mingi you can breathe, y’know!” you giggled in between words

after the young boy had caught his breath from hacking away at his lungs, he smiled at you

until- the teacher had came into the bathroom, scolding mingi for going into the girls’ restroom

even though mingi didn’t care at all that he got in trouble, the only thing he cared about was that you were feeling better

ever since then whenever you were sad or having a bad day mingi would whip out his phone and ask siri to rap while he free-styled over the monotone voice

he literally still does it

even two years into your relationship-

“siri, can you rap for me?” mingi would ask his phone as he pointed his free arm at you

“boots and cats-”

“mingi, please no.” you laughed in between tears, your mood rising with every beat

wooyoung:

i wholeheartedly believe that wooyoung would kiss you face if you were sad

but the first time this happened, you guys were still fairly new into your relationship

which meant that you weren’t completely ready to be extremely vulnerable around wooyoung

because in your mind, letting someone see you at your lowest lows of means that you really trust and love someone to let them see you like that

you always wanted to be known as the strong person in the friend group

you were that glue that held everyone together

always listening to others and taking care of others before yourself

which is why wooyoung fell in love with you in the first place

he had never been in a relationship where someone was so caring and thoughtful of others that he was scared that he wouldn’t be enough for you and that you deserved better

of course, he didn’t tell you that right away but he confessed to you about that wayyy later in your relationship which is another story to be told

but one day, life was coming at you so fucking fast

assignments were piling up left and right and deadlines were literally every other day

and then there seemed to be an increase in the amount of angry karens at your work

and your patience was thinning everyday with those people

then to top it all off, all the tests you’ve been studying for, you got mediocre grades, some even worse in other subjects

it just felt like no matter how much work you put into whatever you do, you got half ass results

it was just pushing your mental health further into the ground

you could handle a C every once in awhile but multiple? on back to back tests? no fucking way you just couldn’t

those stupid, dark thoughts would cloud your mind in an instant and on days like this, you would just let them consume you

you were too tired to pick yourself up again and fight back which led to you crying in wooyoung’s arms

usually, you would feel so embarrassed crying over things like this when you know other people have it worse but you couldn’t hold in it anymore

you ranted about yourself in between your hiccups from crying which would hurt wooyoung’s heart a little bit

because he thought of you as such a strong and kind person- the complete opposite of what you were saying about yourself

so when you were done talking, wooyoung made you look at him and assured you that you were not any of those nasty things that you said about yourself

each insult turned into a thoughtful compliment accompanied by a kiss

“y/n, you are so intelligent-”

kiss

“caring-”

kiss

“beautiful-”

kiss

“more than everything i ever wanted”

kiss

by the time wooyoung was done, you were a giggling mess

“and this is why i love you.”

he finally kissed you on your lips, smiling into it like the dork he is

it was the first ever time he told you that he loved you

jongho:

i am also a firm believer that jongho would sing his s/o to sleep

like with that heavenly voice of his, he better put them to sleep

so on the first night you ever slept with jongho, you were too nervous to go to bed even though your body was screaming at you to close your eyes

you kept tossing and turning every few minutes or your eyes would shoot open with your heart racing

at this point, you gave up on trying to sleep and got up (carefully to not wake up your sleeping boyfriend) to get a drink

while you were in the kitchen, clutching your chest in an effort to get yourself to calm down, jongho had stirred awake to an empty bed

a flash of panic surged through his body as he momentarily forgot where he was since he wasn’t at his dorm his room never looked this clean

yawning, the vocalist would wander into the light with his eyes squinted, “y/n?”

“oh my god!” you jumped, water almost spilling out your glass

jongho covered his ears, “what are you doing up?”

“oh,” you felt your cheeks turn red since you felt bad for waking your boyfriend up. “i can’t sleep.”

“why?” he asked, walking towards the couch.

“i don’t know.” you answered as you followed close behind.

you curled up next to jongho, clutching his shirt “i’m sorry for waking you up.”

jongho smiled tiredly at you before kissing your head, “don’t be. it’s okay. i don’t have work tomorrow anyways.”

you smiled in response before the two of you guys fell into a silence

“do you want me to sing you to sleep?”

“yes, please.” you murmured into his side as jongho placed his other arm around you, successfully trapping you in between his arms

he began singing softly into your ear as he stroked your hair

his warm voice coaxing your eyes to close

at last, your mind was at peace with itself

your heart beat slowing down

and by the time the song was finished you were fast asleep in arms

jongho kissed your forehead once more

“i love you.”

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foreverfallingforthestars · 3 years

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Shining in the Darkness

I've had to rework this plot about 3 times because I started this earlier this year and then restarted it a few weeks ago and then re-restarted it yesterday lmao I hope you guys like it

Word Count: 1699

Read on AO3

Rowaelin Month Masterlist

Day 13 of Rowaelin Month Prompt: Florist/Tattoo shop AU

~~~~~~~~

“Ugh,” Aelin groaned, “look at them pretending to be all high and mighty with their all-black, emo, punk tattoo shop.” She turned away from them in annoyance, instead taking in the bright and beautiful flowers around her.

“I mean, I hope you didn’t expect a tattoo shop to be all sunshine and rainbows,” Elide laughed as she wiped down the counter where bouquets were made.

Aelin sent her a withering glance. “You’re only saying that because you’ve been staring at Mr. Tall-and-Dark ever since they started moving in.”

Elide sent her a sweet smile in response. “As if you haven’t been staring at Mr. Tall-and-Blond? Plus, this is the perfect opportunity to go get that tattoo you’ve been talking about for ages.” Elide gasped and suddenly pointed the rag at her, “You should go by and give them a welcome present! It’ll brighten that dreary place up too!”

Aelin glared at her, “Don’t you have some work to do?”

“Uh-huh, sure, kick your favorite cousin out for having such a brilliant idea.”

Aelin rolled her eyes at her, “Aedion’s going to take offense to that. Technically, you aren’t even my cousin.”

“I don’t care, and Aedion can suck it,” Elide cackled. “Go get them one of the potted plants. Probably a succulent or two, since it doesn’t look like they can keep anything else alive,” she said as she walked into the storeroom to take inventory.

Aelin sighed as she turned back around to watch the two men wipe down the clear glass panels and windows of the store. Her floral shop, Kingsflame Florals, was right across from The Cadre, a tattoo shop that was apparently opening tomorrow, and she was understandably frustrated at how everytime she looked out her own shop’s glass panels, she saw the dark and gloomy exterior of The Cadre. There was enough darkness in her own brain over the last few years after her parents had passed away that she didn’t exactly need to see it constantly as soon as she looked out of her shop, but Aelin also knew that it was strictly her problem and that she really couldn’t take it out on the shop owners.

Elide was right, though. The only decent thing about the entire place was the fact that there was a Mr. Tall-and-Blond, except his hair glinted so brightly under the sunlight that it looked almost like platinum silver. Even from across the street, she could see his muscles rippling under his black shirt as he wiped down the windows, (this man did not care about the burning sunlight, and she had no idea how he could bear it), and Aelin could see the vague swirls of a tattoo down his arm and on the back of his neck. If she was being honest, she wanted to go see the design up close, maybe get some inspiration for what she wanted, but did she really want to deal with all that doom and gloom?

As she chewed on her lip, she decided that maybe her parents were worth facing that - and she would never admit it, but Elide was onto something with giving them succulents -, and so she turned back around and picked up one of their potted succulents that was there especially for the store. Aelin grabbed their water sprayer, gave it a few spritzes, fluffed her open hair, smoothed down her blouse, and walked out the store.

“Hey, neighbor,” she called out as she crossed the road. Aelin was definitely feeling slightly intimidated by how black everything was, but she could deal. She was out of her emo-depressed phase after her parents had died, and a black tattoo shop couldn’t change that.

The dark-haired man wasn't there, but the man with the silver hair turned around, and she was weirdly excited to realize that he had bright green eyes. It was like a surprise of sorts - the man who seems to prefer black had silver hair and green eyes, exactly the opposite of his personality. He was incredibly attractive, though. Gorgeous eyes, pretty hair, sharp jawline, and the tattoo swirling up his neck, almost creeping up his jaw.

“Hello,” he responded, a slight tilt to his words thanks to an accent. Aelin blinked at first, trying to remember how to breathe again because holy crap, the man was suddenly even more attractive, and this was so not fair.

She put on her best, charming smile as she responded, “Welcome to the street. Your shop looked a bit too doom-and-gloom so I decided to bring over some flowers from my shop!”

He raised an eyebrow as he looked at the plant in her hands. “Doom and gloom?”

“Well, yeah, your entire shop is black, which is quite an achievement honestly. How do you make something so dark when the front part of the shop is entirely glass which lets all this sunlight in?” she joked, but from the way his lips turned down into a scowl, she figured he didn’t exactly share the same sentiments.

“It’s a tattoo shop,” he stated in a manner-of-fact tone, “so yes, it’s a lot of black.”

“Um, right,” she awkwardly responded, her bravado effectively gone, “I just wanted to come by and give you a succulent to keep at the desk. I’m Aelin, by the way, I own Kingsflame Florals.”

He looked down at the plant again before looking back up at her. “I figured you owned the shop, but I’m Rowan. You can come in, if you want, and show me the prime location for that so it doesn’t look all doom-and-gloom.”

“You’re not going to let that go, are you?”

“Not at all,” he responded with a wry smirk on his face. He opened the door to the shop, and she followed him inside, immediately blasted with the cold air from the air conditioner.

She took the chance to look around the shop, and she was taken aback by the variety of designs posted around the walls. There were the simple designs like flowers, birds, dreamcatchers, and butterflies, while there were also insanely intricate designs of swirls and lines that created abstract art and distinct images, and all of it was just pure talent.

"These designs are beautiful," she breathed, setting the succulent down near the computer.

"Thanks," he replied, leaning an arm against the desk. "Interesting?" he asked, and Aelin could tell from his expression that he expected her to say no.

"Yes, actually," she replied with satisfaction as she watched Rowan's eyes widen slightly. "My cousin says that your shop opening up here is a prime opportunity for me to get the tattoo I've been talking about for ages."

"What’s stopping you from becoming our first customer then?" Rowan asked. Aelin shrugged.

"Lack of inspiration, I suppose?"

"Any ideas about what you want it to be?” Aelin shook her head, to which Rowan continued, “A reason behind getting the tattoo might help with the overall design.”

"We're not that close for me to share that part of my life with you."

"Really? I'd say these past five minutes makes us best friends," he spoke, leaning into her, mischief shining in his eyes.

Stifling a snort, Aelin rolled her eyes. “You should already know my tragic backstory then.”

“Same for you, Ms. Flowers,” he responded.

“No, but you see, I never claimed to be your best friend.”

“Ouch, that hurt,” he responded, a hand covering his heart with fake pain. Aelin’s lips quirked upwards at that with the realization that they had been leaning into each other during that entire conversation, and she was flirting with this man. She hadn’t even noticed how dark everything around her was because within that darkness was this man with bright green eyes that reminded her of pine trees from back home and silver hair that glowed like the moon,

“Fair enough,” she laughed lightly. “It’s for my parents. The shop was actually my mom’s idea for something to keep them busy after they retired, but they, uh, died in a car accident a few years ago. They never got to open it, so I did,” she said, looking out the clear panels to her own shop. It was years of hard work and pain, but she’d gotten through it. “I always wanted to get a tattoo, but now it’s more for them.”

She looked back at Rowan and was surprised to see that there wasn’t any pity shining in his eyes. No, it was understanding and compassion. He understood her decision, and it wasn’t something a lot of people were able to relate to. They would simply pass it off as a nice gesture she wanted to do, but it went deeper than that. It was a way to ensure she would never be separated from her parents, and from the way Rowan had let himself smile genuinely in front of her, she knew he understood.

“The tattoo you were staring at earlier,” he started, pointing a finger at his neck, and Aelin flushed realizing that she hadn’t been as subtle as she thought she was, “is about my wife and daughter that had passed away, also in a car accident. I understand your need to connect to them, so how about I draw something for you? You can take a look at it and make any adjustments as needed, but I can help you start off with something.”

Aelin looked at him, and she slowly exhaled a breath because maybe this was exactly what she needed. “Okay. I wanted it on my ribcage, if that works?”

“Yeah, of course, just be aware that you will have to at least take your shirt off,” he teased, and Aelin was so shocked that she barked out a laugh.

“Wow, Rowan, at least buy my dinner first.”

“Happily,” he replied.

Aelin sent him a bright smile, and she knew that she was never going to live it down from Elide that she had gone to the tattoo shop with the intentions of giving the grumpy men a succulent and had instead left with the man’s phone number and a beautiful tattoo design amazingly created with Old Language letters and a Kingsflame flower.

#rowaelin month #day 13 #rowaelin #aelin x rowan #aelin galythinius #rowan whitethorn #floral/tattoo shop au #romance #comedy

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alleunwalk · 3 years

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tokyo revengers idol au hcs part 3 that no one asked for AGAIN here’s part 1 and part 2 to get a better understanding. this is what the members would be doing alongside their idol promotions+ what they would post on social media toman tbh these guys are all just so damn funny on their own that they would constantly be invited to comedy variety shows. maybe perhaps doing something similar to seventeen or wanna one where they even have their own variety show on youtube (ie. seventeen’s-going seventeen series or wanna one’s show on mnet) mikey-he would post basic food pics like of his parfaits or taiyaki but also it’s rare because he’d constantly forget his password. however on important days he’ll post long emotional and sentimental posts that hit you in your feels thanking his members and fans always. he also has a youtube channel posting random funny vlogs. draken- he has his own personal soundcloud to upload solo mixtapes/songs feat diff members. posts photos of his bikes and different tattoos he would be getting. responds with 1-2 words to fans during fansigns or ig comments but like mikey, once in a while, will also write heartfelt posts thanking everyone. baji- his ig feed is filled with animals + dance practice vids. also has his own soundcloud too. trolls his members by commenting on their stuff. “delete this u ugly mf no one wants to see this”. takemichi- very chatty, (sometimes too chatty where he’ll end up accidentally spoiling their next album info) and interactive on social media to his fans. tries his best to respond to most comments or ama ig stories questions. posts a lot of selfies and photos of his members. king of fan service. chifuyu- beautiful photos of the sky a lot on his ig (in canon he wanted to be a pilot :,) ) along with cute soft selfies. (which baji and kazutora troll and comment being like “damn....u ugly AF!” “lmao stop pretending to act cute u loser” kazutora- his ig is filled with pure chaos. just pics of him catching his members slipping (sleeping photos where they’re drooling or have their eyes slightly open or making ugly faces behind the scenes). also has photos of cursed memes and memes made by fans. he’s a literal enigma. mitsuya- very wholesome ig photos- lots of photos of his family, group photos, sometimes cool artsy edited selfies. occasional photoshoot photos. hakkai- ig is filled lots of #ootd photos and occasional photos from his modeling or acting gigs (he’s the visual, duh!) gets a lot of sponsorships from big brands. pah-chin: has a joint youtube channel with peyan. they do silly challenges but will sometimes post dance videos (feat. baji) since they’re the main/lead dancers. fans love him because of his “matter-of-fact” responses that are funny without even trying. (example- fan comment: omg i love u guys soooo much u guys are the best in the whole world!!!<333 toman OUTSOLD!. pah-chin: idk about best in the world but we’ll just take “the best in our neighborhood” for now i guess. thanks.”) peyan: joint youtube channel with pah-chin. at fan signs mikey has to warn him to chill out cuz peyan will accidentally yell and scare fans without meaning to, but he’s just really excited to meet his fans is all ^_^ angry: posts a lot of wholesome photos like mitsuya (selfies with smiley) and writes a lot of motivational sweet captions cheering fans up and reminding them to always be happy :,) smiley: joint youtube account with angry. smiley does a lot of prank videos and angrys just usually in the back like 🧍‍♂️... he also does tiktok- he would be doing all the dances, memes, and trends. inui: ok hear me out, i mentioned before inui has similar vibes as cha eunwoo so i’d figure his ig would give the same vibe as his (iykyk). since he’s the other visual he would be getting a TON of acting and modeling gigs. idk why but i feel like inui would be a great actor (his facial expressions during tenjiku arc, the range!). actor of the year. gets a lot of skincare commercial deals too.

black dragons shinichiro- photos of bikes, cars, and photos where hes pretending to do a cool pose but his members (+mikey) would troll and comment “LAME!!!!!” “why tf do u look like that?” “hey leader, it’s not too late to delete this now bestie :)” does fun ig lives. on variety shows as a joke his members tease him there as well. really great at fan-service and pulls the whole “pretend boyfriend” scenario with fans (the delusional fans are gonna act up if he keeps this up...). taiju- (if shinichiro did not exist in this au OR if you wanted both in the group) photos of him at the gym, photoshoot photos. inui- similar to if he was in toman, his ig would just be a lot of cool and cute photos of him from behind the scenes of dramas or photoshoots. a soft visual king. occasional selfies with koko and bike photos. kokonoi- has a personal youtube channel but he would be Drowning in sponsorship videos all from high-end designer brands. he’s just casually flexing that PPL in his vlogs. ig feed is a lot of #ootd photos or pics taken with inui. him and inui would be makeup brand ambassadors or faces of brands (ex: like jennie from blackpink represents chanel). in this case kokonoi would be the face of fendi (he wears fendi slides in the manga cover) and inui would be the face of jimmy choo (his heels in the manga cover looked like jimmy choo but i could be wrong.. but u know what i mean)

tenjiku izana- pretty leader has a very artsy ig feed. extremely photogenic like inui. has photoshoot photos and candid pose photos. acts in dramas time to time (gg second male lead syndrome). kakucho- posts gym or dance practice videos on his feed but he posts rarely because he’s just too busy or forgets he actually has an ig. loves commenting on takemichi’s posts “haha no wonder ur called baka-michi!” as a joke. kanji- posts gym photos but it’s rare because he always forgets his password. ran- the other visual. he would be modeling for high-fashion brands and go on runway shows. also definitely gives off actor vibes (he would be constantly casted in dark action movies hahaha). loves giving fan service. rindou- in contrast to his brother, rindou when it comes to fan service, he loves trolling fans. also he’s really good at drawing a line between fans (y’know, keeping the delusional ones in check...which means he ‘friend-zones’ them but it’s for their own good tbh idols need to remind people their boundaries). has a youtube channel where he just posts random dance practice vids and occasional vlogs. also comments under his brothers ig posts “you look stupid af in this wtf”. on variety shows people find their brotherly banter hilarious. mutou- posts gym photos, also really awkward selfies (he doesn’t know what his angle is lmao). another member who also reminds fans of their boundaries and keeps it real. (sanzu always likes his photos though and hypes him up in the comments). sanzu- shy baby. constantly following mutou around. posts a lot of cute selfies and random pics of shogi stuff (he tags mutou in it of course). during fan signing/autograph sessions they love putting cute headband props on him like this or this.

bonten because this group’s concept and aesthetic is mysterious, mature, artsy, gloomy, and dark they will take this concept to the grave. (minus a few exceptions) they are invited to variety/talk-shows but never make an appearance because they want to keep the air of mystery around them. (it’s a good marketing technique). mikey- does not have any social media. he does have a private account to lurk around but no one knows what it is. kokonoi- has a youtube channel but it’s locked and you have to pay to get into it. posts super short vlogs and teasers. thats it. (the ultimate scam! but their fans love them too much to notice). lots of sponsored #ootd posts on ig. kakucho- he would be modeling ONLY high fashion brands and high end editorial places. his instagram is just his exquisite and expensive modeling photos whether it be candid backstage photos from shows, candid runway walk pics/vids, pics of diff photoshoots you name it. doesn’t really comment much. ran- visual. similar to kakucho- modeling ONLY high fashion brands and editorial places. instagram is filled with modeling photos but also some artsy scenery pics he took. rindou- posts short artsy dancing clips (like modern dances in black&white filter) on ig. sanzu- since he’s the other visual, he also posts a lot of his modeling/acting photos on instagram. also pretty chatty (he’s the exception) on social media and loves teasing and trolling fans. posts with a lot of random cute emojis on everything. “just ate lunch and now im off to practice hehe 🍜🍇🤟💃🤠🧚‍♂️💞🦋” no one really knows why he uses random emojis but it’s just endearing lmao. kanji- no social media at all. akashi- manager....or if you made him the rapper in this au then he too would also not have any social media.

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1025cherrystreet · 3 years

Text

order for me, please?

y/n is too anxious to order for herself at a restaurant, so harry does it for her.

disclaimer: did not proofread this, nor do i really like how i ended it. very much rushed, very much lost the plot i feel lmao. any feedback is appreciated!!!

warnings: talks about anxiety quite a lot, other than that just fluff. kinda short soz <3

Harry rubs soft circles into your side while you're cuddled into him on the couch. The light coming in from the window casts a yellow glow into the room, little rainbow beams decorate random spots in your living room from the glass.

You've been a bit anxious today. The worst part of it is that you have no clue as to why you've been so anxious. Nothing particularly stressful has occurred since you woke up, but your heart hasn't stopped racing, your breathing has been quite shaky, and your palms are clammy. Some days are just harder than others, you know this, but it doesn't dismiss the fact that it's still difficult to even get through the day sometimes.

Since the moment you woke up in Harry's warm clutch this morning, you felt off. That uncomfortable feeling in your tummy and the constricting nails that seem lodged in your throat were a not-so-warm welcome when you opened your eyes.

Having anxiety and knowing how hard it is for you, you know how hard it can be for the people around you as well. You felt guilty. You felt guilty because today was one of Harry's days off from work and he doesn't get many of them, always so busy. You didn't want to ruin what was supposed to be a good, relaxing, fun day.

But, when Harry wished you a good morning love, and you had opened your mouth to speak with glossy eyes, only to have the words get caught in your throat, he knew today wasn't a good one.

However, because Harry is such an amazing person and boyfriend, he knows how to go about handling your anxiety. He knows you. He knows that you just need a cuddle and a slow day with tea and a good meal. He knows when you start to get really worked up, you listen to Landslide by Fleetwood Mac because it reminds you of a sweet childhood memory. He knows you don't want to do much talking, but rather more watching TV. He knows you like to distract yourself on your bad days...and he knows how to do so.

So, after spending all morning and into the afternoon having tea and breakfast and taking your meds (along with a short cry), you're now cuddling on the couch mindlessly watching a movie. It's quiet in the house, the only sound coming from the television (and maybe your heart beating if Harry got close enough), but Harry swears you could be able to hear his thoughts from a mile away.

He worries about you sometimes. As does everyone who loves someone. He's never loved someone as much as he loves you and it scares him sometimes. He's not scared of falling out of love or deciding you guys aren't the best for each other, no. He's scared of not being enough for you. He knows you tell him that he's the love of your life and that he will always be enough for you, but a little part of him is scared that he might not be able to take care of you. Now, he's not saying in any way, shape, or form that he's not capable of taking care of you, because he can! He's just scared he might mess up and make your anxiety worse. He hates seeing you so out of it.

You're always the sunlight in every room, always smiling and so loving. You care so deeply for everyone around you, he admires it. He admires you. He loves you, so he hates that your mind can be mean to you at times.

See, his troubles with anxiety are far different from yours. Gratefully, his anxiety is more rational (still troubling, just more rational!) ... which is the complete opposite to yours. Your disorder is so irrational and crazy that, more often than not, you get so frustrated with yourself. Your brain makes up problems to be there that aren't there. You worry about nothing and everything all at once, feeling like you never get a break from the mental toll it has on you.

So with that, Harry hates seeing you so anxious. He knows you're so vulnerable and fragile in this state that he doesn't want to make anything worse for you, he wishes every day that he could just take all the worry and bad thoughts from your head and put them on himself instead, as long as it meant that you'd be your happy self again.

But, he knows that's not possible. He also knows that's it's okay to not be okay all the time, so he packs his wishes back into his brain and cuddles you closer. Hoping you can feel his love reverberate off every surface of this house to you.

Oddly enough, you almost feel as if you can. In your simultaneously busy yet silent mind, you can make out his affection in every circle he draws onto your skin with his fingertips, in every warm cup of tea he makes, and every sickly sweet kiss he presses onto your lips, forehead, and cheek. You know he loves you and you hope with everything that he knows you love him just as much, if not more.

With that thought running through your head, you turn to place a kiss to his chest, lightly tracing the butterfly (moth?) tattoo through his shirt. A content hum sounds from his lips and he squeezes you tighter before kissing the top of your head.

"I love you," He whispers, as if not to disturb the comfortable silence created in this space.

"I love you more," You whisper back, the tea earlier melting the nails in your throat just a little.

***

"Does Carrburritos sound good, lovie?" Harry asks, waiting on the edge of y'all's bed for you to finish getting ready.

Carrburritos is your favorite restaurant ever. Of course, you know that's why Harry chose it and the thought of him doing something as simple as that melts your heart at how sweet and thoughtful he is.

"Yeah, thank you, bubs." You respond softly, still in the fragile state you were in earlier, albeit definitely feeling better. You make your way to the edge of the bed where Harry is, slotting your body between his legs and bringing your hands up to play with the little curls on his neck.

"Alright, love. If you're ready to go, we can start to head over?" He asks, rubbing his big hands up and down along your sides.

You nod, leaning into kiss him. It's short, but your lips melt against his and no matter how many times you've kissed him, every single one still feels as magical as the first time.

The two of you get to the restaurant in 15 minutes time, settling at a table close to the window, in more of a quiet area. You feel better than you have all day, but the loud noises and the people in here are making your heart rate spike just a tad.

You and Harry talk softly about random topics, nothing about work or anything too heavy because you don't think you're able to handle that right now. You giggle at the jokes Harry will slip in ever so often and his face lights up at the sound, loving that he can make you feel comfortable after having such a hard day.

When the waitress comes by to get your drink orders, your leg starts bouncing a mile a minute under the table. You rehearse the five words just a sweet tea, please, over and over in your head for when she gets to you. Somehow, you manage to squeak out the order, avoiding eye contact as a nervous habit, but now that you realize you're doing it, the fear of coming across as rude now terrorized your mind. But, before you could do anything about it, the waitress walks away.

"You okay, baby?" Harry can sense your nerves, practically seeing them coming off of you. He reaches his hand across the table to hold yours, rubbing his thumb along your hand.

You just nod, trying to calm yourself. You're being so silly, you think to yourself. What? You're really about to cry because you forgot you have to talk to the waitress to order your food? It's a small encounter, you don't understand why your head makes it such a difficult task. You start to get frustrated with yourself, almost bringing tears to your eyes.

"Hey, tell me what you need, darling?" Harry coos, ducking his head to get in your line of sight since you've been stuck staring at the table top for the past few minutes.

You clear your throat in hopes to push down the tears and diminish the scratching feeling in your throat, although, it didn't do much.

"C-can you..." You huff, now frustrated that you can't even speak, "can you please order for me?" You glance at him, but not holding your gaze long before looking out the window at passing cars. You feel so stupid asking him to order for you. For fucks sake, you're not a child. And you can't tell if it's worse or better that you know he's going to have no problem ordering for you (or doing anything for you, for that matter). He'd do anything for you in a heartbeat.

A soft, loving smile pulls on his lips before he speaks.

"Of course, my sweet girl. It's no problem at all, you want what you normally get?" He asks and you offer a gentle nod.

If he's being honest, he actually likes you depending on him like this sometimes. Not to say that you need him to do everything for you, because you're more than capable, he would like to add! But, knowing that you're comfortable and trust him enough to be so open with him and ask him to do certain things for you makes him feel so...valuable? Maybe that's not the right word he'd like to use, but he just loves that he can do something for you to make your life easier. Your joy brings him joy.

When the waitress comes back, Harry orders for the both of you. Your heart could explode with the amount of adoration you have for the man sitting across from you. He just... gets it. He gets you.

So, with full bellies and calmed nerves, the two of you make your way back home and get settled in y'all's bed to cuddle for the rest of the night. Sprinkled thank you's and sweet kisses are shared while the two of you share warmth under the dozens of blankets adorning the bed.

"I'm sorry I wasted your day off, H." You whisper out into the air.

Pressing a peck to your shoulder, Harry tugs you to turn so you're facing him. He shakes his head, "Y/N, you didn't waste my day. Always perfect with you." His big hands squeezing lovingly at your waist as if he's trying to transfer his love for you to you.

"Look at me," He says when he catches your eyes cast down at his tattooed chest. "You will never, ever, be a burden, lovie. I know y'feel like you're botherin' me, or everyone, by jus'existing, but you've got it all wrong. Baby, I hate seeing you so anxious, and I know you can't control it, but tha's not gonna stop me from doin' everythin' I can to make you comfortable...and loved."

Your face breaks out in, probably, the biggest grin you've had all day at his assurance.

"I always feel comfortable and loved with you, H."

#Harry Styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #harry styles fluff #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #hshq #hs #harry #y/n #fluff #fine line #hs1 #anxiety #writing #1025cherrystreet #fanfic #fanfiction

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kehlanies · 3 years

Note

“Go touch some grass.” Nicole I’m crying lmao. But for real Robbe stans be like “we can call out BA and girl squad but I draw the line when you call out my fav white boy”

i'm so happy you sent this because I've been wanting to say something all fucking day and have (again) felt like i was being too mean or harsh which is super ironic all things considered but fuck it. ok before i start, i do love robbe, and even though I'm committed to not wasting anymore time in this show, he'll probably always be one of my favorite isaks. i'm not ashamed or embarrassed to admit that, and I don't think people who love robbe should feel bad about liking him because despite all of the horrible writing decisions made in regards to his character, he still managed to be, imo, one of the kinder, likable characters of the show. we're suppsed to root for him in his season, and we're supposed to be fond of him afterward. there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

that being said, robbe's still racist, as are all of the white characters, sander and milan included, because the writers are racist. there was never going to be a version of this scene where robbe empathizes with yasmina because the writers don't empathize with her. that's what I was saying earlier this week with suggestion that people tone down their thirst for a robbe scene, because I knew it would end up like this. you can't expect a show that has repeatedly shown that they have zero regard for people of color, their characters and fans alike, to do a scene in which a white character is supposed to comfort a character of color with any sort of grace because they don't believe that a white person would do that because they, as white men, wouldn't do it. i think that's what frustrates me most about all this talk of robbe being ooc, because its like, when have we ever seen him confront racism. the thing with kato wasn't about her being a racist, it was about her getting them into a car wreck (and even then y'all still made it about robbe and sander, but i digress.) hell, the only friend of color that he has is moyo, and we all know how the writers feel about him. it was 100% unfounded to believe that robbe would be able to comfort yasmina or give her any sort of clarity because he's still white! on a show written by white racists! as uncomfortable as it may be to hear, this is the "real robbe" because this is the robbe written by and given depth to by his creators. fanon robbe does not exist outside of tumblr and ao3 (as with fanon moyo, jens, zoë, senne, and basically any other character that we've taken the liberty to reconstruct in the image of what they could be as opposed to what they are.) just because its a truth that you're unhappy with doesn't make it not true, and attempting to excuse this by saying it wasn't actually him isn't going to make the scene magically go away, or make what you want him to have said be what he actually said. all its doing is further ostracizing the people of color and muslims in the fandom, and reminding us, once again, that your inability to project on to your favorite white character is more important than like. literal racism and islamophobia.

and one more thing because i know how y'all are, i'm not going to check because like I said, i'm fully done, but i'm sure that there will be a least a few snarky responses to this post talking about how people are reading too much into the scene and how we should just let people enjoy things and that you're only here to see yasmina happy at the end and I just want to say two things. one, yasmina's happiness is forever going to be compromised because, at least in the context of the canon of this show, its going to require her to at least forgive, if not apologize to people who have done nothing but make her life a living hell for 10 weeks. and two, being ~emotionally distanced~ from racism is not the flex that you think it is.

#wtfock

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remsmoonlight · 3 years

Text

— title : point of view

— word count : 3k words

— pairing : daryl dixon x reader

— summary : tomorrow is something that is never promised, less so when the dead walk the Earth. being trapped for the night when a storm pours down upon you and daryl while trapped in a decrepit house by a few walkers are you sick and tired of hiding what you feel.

— warnings : some swearing, talk of potential death ( of the reader ) , a wee bit of angst that turned into more at the end :)

note: omg another daryl oneshot i gotta chill ajksajksk, but i had like seven main bullet points i made to follow when writing this and i followed like...... two, three at the most, anyways.... enjoy? this is brought to u by ariana’s discography lmao oops it does be cute at some point tho ... also felt a bit hsm with that one line at the end ahaha but fr lemme stop talking now

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* requests are open ! *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Dark and gloomy clouds swirl over your head, blending into an extremely large and angry looking ready to descend from above. You wonder to yourself just how long you have left before the loud cracks that crumble through the air to accompany the forceful winds and pouring drops of rain are finally released. Halfway through the trip back from the town that lays after miles from the prison the car used decided it preferred to lay quietly in the middle of the road, shortly after the sickly sputters from the engine you heard Daryl mutter a few curse words. You were unable to hold in your amusement, despite the fact that a lack of transport obviously leaves you in a vulnerable position, it felt like it was your luck for that to happen to you.

It’s why you stay behind following the hunter in silence.

Studying him with focused eyes you can’t help but wonder how he never realises when you’re unable to tear your gaze away from him. In the beginning when you began to develop a certain affection for him you had been glad, for it to be too embarrassing for the thoughts you had about him in your head. In spite of this, when you realised that it was much more than a crush did you wish for him to mind read, because you have no idea just how to approach him about such a sensitive topic and while he can be tender about feelings, it’s also his downfall.

“ it’ll be gettin’ dark soon, there should be some houses down there to spend the night in. “

You stop in your tracks with a curious look that bled so suddenly into your features you had no time to stop it.

“ you don’t want to carry on? I mean, we’re not far from home? “ you question him with a hint of fear coddling your words.

“ we’d be trippin’ over our feet. Let’s back it back in one piece, yeh? “

Nodding, you regain your pace. It’s been a few months since you’d been hopping from one house to the other during that harsh winter, the bare thought of having to stay in yet another frail structure sent a chilly hand drawing its claws deeply up your spine. If you never had your group, you don’t think you would have made a winter like that, barely protected from the elements and the walkers that wished to plunge their teeth cavernously into your flesh.

“ as long as we leave as soon as the sun comes up. Please. “ you plead, your words filter off into a gentle volume from your position.

Leaves crumble and buckle underneath the weight, the sound of crickets dominate your surroundings as the two of you walk in silence. You itch to start a conversation, but the fear of distracting the man and annoying withhold the words that wish to fall from your lips, even then you don’t know how to begin. What would you say? There’s not much to talk about in a world where the dead have risen, where they wish to drag the world into decomposition.

Your wandering mind is pulled from its very own depths from a noise coming from Daryl, he’d turned to catch your attention. You both set to work attempting to enter any of the abandoned houses, hoping one had been left unlocked at some point.

Of course, luck is scarce. Despite there not being a soul who occupies them, they’re still somehow locked. Mournfully, you wonder if the owners of these homes had thought the governments and armies would eventually lock everything under their control, to the point that there would be a house for them to come back to? Your heart thuds painfully in your chest to think about what happened to them, and if they’re even still surviving.

A large thud draws you back to the present, the wooden door splinters at the force Daryl puts into a large kick to its frame.

“ well, there goes the lock. “ you mutter humourously, lifting the heavy bag higher up onto your shoulders as you walk in the open door.

“ we’ll put the couch there, stop any unfriendly types that come our way. “

“ I don’t know if there’s anyone left anymore. “ you reply, dropping the bag to the floor and moving towards the couch.

Situated on the other side of it, you grip the plush handle and lift with a struggle. It’s a strain to get it through the doorway to turn it around the corner, but eventually it happens. Daryl is joined by your presence by his side, you both push ⏤ this time it’s an easier feat with two of you on one side to dedicate your strength and weight to advance it.

As soon as you finish, a heavy crackle cuts through the air.

“ we got here just in time, huh? “

“ just about. “ he answers you, sparing a glance before moving through the lower floor ⏤ searching for anything that can be taken back to the prison.

Thunderstorms had never been your favourite thing growing up. Of course, rain was something that calmed you from the anxieties life brought, but the thunder and lightning is what you loathed. Never knowing when you were about to receive a fright from the loud rumbles and flashing lights ruined the whole experience for you.

The rustling Daryl makes is the only thing that brings you comfort in this moment, keeping you grounded and away from your thoughts. It doesn’t escape your notice that these houses feel no more than graveyards with the memories that have no use to live, instead haunting the structures with what could have been had chaos and death not taken over. You climb the stairs, hugging your sides as you refuse to touch the handrail leading up stairs.

There is a middle room with access granted without having to push open the door to gain entry. Your eyes scan the room’s interior, even with the dust and grime that bespeckle its surfaces, you can still see its beauty. Now, who does that remind you of? Your mind cheekly thinks before you banish it into the shadows of your brain, where you know it will force itself out with an immense stubbornness.

Despite the thunder booming in the distance frequently, you can’t help but admire the beauty of rain drops falling to the ground with a dainty grace only it holds. The sky continues to grow dimmer, only seeing the rain on your level and lower, no street lights flood the street to aid you in being able to see torrent from above. Jumping at another roar of sound from the storm, your heart begins to pick up its pace, so much you don’t realise Daryl joining you in the room.

“ scared? “

Turning around with such speed that leaves you surprised whiplash did not greet you, Daryl is left smirking at your reaction.

“ yeah, I hate these things. “ you respond, a bitterness coating each word heavily as you speak.

“ more than walkers? “ he questions you, as he shifts his weight from one foot to the other.

“ well, I suppose not that much .. “ another clap of thunder interrupts you, the rain beating harder and harder on the windows of the bedroom. “ can we talk about anything? This shit really grates on my nerves. “

“ what y’wanna talk about? “

Your mind stalls, with the previous thoughts that had been swirling in a state of disorder your draw a blank. A continuous thump downstairs interrupts your shrug, speeding down the stairs you realise a few walkers are trying to enter the property, of course their lack of intelligence fails to realise they’re throwing themselves into the walls and not the blocked doors.

“ shall we take them out? “ moving closer to the lengthy curtained window next to the door to get a better look, you can see three walkers hauling themselves mindlessly against the structure.

“ nah, the storm’ll get ‘em soon enough. “ he shakes his head softly, your mind taking note of the lack of proximity between your bodies as he repeats your action. “ no need to risk ourselves. “

“ wouldn’t be the first time you’ve risked your life. “

“ s’nothin. “ he contradicts gruffly, wiping a finger across his nose at your words. He truly doesn’t view it as that, refusing to think of it as risking his life. To Daryl, it doesn’t feel like risking everything to help the people around him, it’s not something he can find the words to explain but all he knows if there’s a chance, he would do it again and again.

“ Daryl Dixon, so humble. “ you speak warmly with a gentle smile threading itself into your features. “ you need to give yourself more credit. “

“ stop. “

“ you’re as brave as anyone in the group. I’d say braver than Rick. “ you joke, setting yourself from the entryway to the sitting room. “ although, if I had to choose you and Carol .. I’m sorry, but Carol every time! “

“ damn woman frightens me. “

Laughter light in weight dances airily between you with an elegance in its movement. For even a fraction of a second you forget that there are walkers that are itching to break through into the property, that there’s an angry storm that threatens to demolish whatever stands in its path, because right now it’s only you both here and now in this one room.

“ she’s come a long way. “ you agree, pulling a lone chocolate bar from your bag. Your favourite and you’re thanking the universe that it hasn’t spoiled yet. Turns out all these preservatives and chemicals have some use after all you note to yourself as half is offered to the man standing across from you.

“ so have ‘yuh. “ he acknowledges, taking the broken half of the candy from you.

“ I think we all have to be honest. I don’t think any one of us are the people we used to be. “

“ now who’s humble? “ Daryl asks, his tone light in relaxed merriment. He’d long since taken note of the transformation you’d gone through, he’s never seen you so strong as a person before.

“ don’t you turn this round on me, Dixon. “

The two of you fall silent, you direct your gaze to the window and the raindrops that litter the window pane’s surface. The harsh noises thundered no more, leaving a calm pitter of precipitation to fall with no interruption. From your position on the second couch, you wrap around a thin decorational blanket around your arms, leaning your cheek against the palm of your hand.

Pretending the world hasn’t gone to hell, that it’s just a normal evening where you’re admiring the scene before you. Skies that weep heavily is what the Georgian greenery has been calling out for, especially since the warmer temperatures have returned in full force. Switching your line of sight to Daryl, you feel a mellowness in the pit of your stomach as you watch him fondly. You can’t be sure if it’s the lack of distractions or eyes from your group, but you feel a miniscule spark of confidence within your confines.

“ come sit down, you can relax for a bit. “ you call, trying to convince him lightly. Your hand moves to pat the seat next to you.

“ can’t relax in this world. “ despite the disagreement in his words he does move towards your position on the plush seat.

“ it doesn’t mean we can’t make it. Otherwise we’d be burnt out, I’d hate to see that happen to you. “ You divulge as you reply to him, little inklings of hope in your tone.

“ y’don’t gotta worry ‘bout me. “

“ but I do, Daryl. “ you groan as a dull glumness contorts your features into something new. “ I mean, the lengths you go to .. you scare me to death. “

“ don’t be dumb. “ Daryl warns lowly as he shakes his head, few have shared their vulnerability with him. Perhaps only Carol, his mind can’t wrap itself around the fact that people genuinely care for him. Growing up, he’d been taught of it as a weakness. Something that should not exist, no one cared when he went missing for a short while as a child, and now having people who show him the opposite? It leaves a strange feeling to settle within his heart.

“ please, I need to tell you. I mean, I might not even be here tomorrow. “

“ nah, don’t say that. Y’will. “ he argues, he doesn’t even want to entertain the notion of not seeing you even for a day ⏤ let alone forever.

Truthfully, you’d not been particularly close. He understands it now, he pushed everyone away wherever he had the chance to. But after the downfall of the farm? You wouldn’t let up in trying to forge bonds that could rival even the strongest of metals. You had no idea, but he’d overheard you talking to Beth one day. When you said you didn’t want to be afraid of living, to have something worth dying for. That struck him deep.

“ neither you or I can guarantee that. Now, call me selfish but I can’t die with what ifs in my brain. “ you explain, you know it’s probably selfish to announce any kind of fondness for a person nowadays, because you can be ripped from their existence without any kind of announcement. But if you were to depart from the realm of the living, you’d want to have affectionate memories to experience and for them to look back on.

“ what y’sayin? “

Your eyes well up in frustration, whether it’s over the way you find the words are hiding beneath your tongue like cowards under the cloak of night or over the fact that you have begun this topic of conversation, backing yourself into a corner. There’s so much you want to say but how you should is not coming easy. Eloquence in your words is something you find yourself yearning for with all of your being should it bring you a happy ending to this discussion.

This isn’t a fairytale, there’s no happy or bad endings in real life you sorely think. There’s just reality, and the conclusions for that are neither black or white.

Fingertips grip the roots of your hair for a fleeting moment before letting go as if you’d never clutched them in exasperation at all.

Shutting your eyes so hard they hurt, you muster up the courage to speak the truth you’ve locked away in your heart, allowing it the light it has been deprived of for so long.

“ Daryl, I ⏤ “ your voice shuts off with a painful sound, sighing as if to psych yourself up. “ I feel more for you than I probably should. “

When Daryl says nothing, you open your eyes. Your entire being preparing yourself for the worse answer, this moment may hurt now but the pain will lessen. At least your soul feels lighter with the hidden information no longer chained to it as a burden, no longer will it have to be weighed down by its mass.

“ I know it’s probably not what you want to hear, but I couldn’t keep it in any longer. “

“ who said I didn’t wanna hear? “

“ ⏤ what ? “ you question, your brows falling lower as you squint in disbelief. You wonder if your brain is forming a false memory to protect itself later on.

“ y’don’t nothin’ to do with me though. “ he hesitates, the automatic response to push away anything good that comes his way to the furthest reaches. “ nothin’ but trouble. “

A sorrowful smile full of grief clouds your features, your unshed tears threaten to fall. If only he could see himself from your point of view, he doesn’t see just how admirable of a human being he is. Yes, he has his flaws but who doesn’t? In all of humanity, you don’t think there has ever been a perfect person, but it’s how they approach their downsides that shows the peak of their humanity, that they don’t let the darkness fester in their heart, to poison their soul into becoming a shell of a kind hearted person. That shows the strength of their character.

Daryl? You feel honoured to have been a first hand witness to see him turn from a hot ball of anger to a softer, kinder soul.

“ Daryl, you really don’t see what I do.” you forsake everything, leaning forwards and laying your hands across his. Taking in the immense warmth from them. “ That? It hurts me, because you’re rather amazing. “

Saying nothing, Daryl looks down at your intertwined hands. He wants the chance that’s being offered, though the fear of being the one who poisons everything he lays his touch upon settles heavily on his shoulder. No one has come out unscarred when dealing with a member of the Dixon family, his family tree being nothing more than toxic, with weeds that wrap around the limbs of the poor fool who got involved with them, as they drag them to their lowly depths. He doesn’t know how to let go of the past and for this he continues to pay, with the high price being his happiness in the present world. No response leaves his lips, for the first time in a long time he doesn’t know what to say, while knowing what he wants to say. It’s not until he feels arms wrapped around the top of his shoulders is he brought back down to Earth, a shudder of a breath is released from him as he realises what is going on. The action is reciprocated in earnest, you’re full of gratitude that he’s accepting your comfort ⏤ knowing it could have been a gamble of a decision, a fifty fifty chance of him reacting negatively or positively. You, too, draw comfort from the position you both find yourself, clutching the other. Hope dawns on your heart, knowing Daryl is not a particularly affectionate man. This means a lot, for it’s a leap for you both.

“ thank you. “ he whispers in the night. You know that this is the start of something new.

#daryl dixon imagine #daryl dixon x reader #daryl x reader #daryl dixon oneshot #daryl imagine #twd imagine #the walking dead imagine #twd oneshot #daryl oneshot

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strawberry-circus · 3 years

Text

Part (2/5) Sam and Max.... in the same room??!? Is this a crossover episode??

Remind me to never draw a car again lmao

Sam and Max are about to embark on yet another wacky adventure, but after talking they realized something

EDIT: link to part 1

Part 1

Part 2 (you are here!)

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

#sam and max #sam and max freelance police #sam and max freelance husbands #comicpage #sorry this is the dumbest reference #if you get the reference i love you #once again worried that this is ooc #Sam’s aunt is actually named Trudy #but math #digital art #still learning how to write/draw

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drabbles-mc · 3 years

Text

Protective Detail (3/?)

Nestor Oceteva x Reader

Warnings: language, falling more in love with Nestor than we already were originally (if that’s even possible)

Word Count: 2.7k

A/N: I’m a sucker for characters building relationships. Humans slowly getting to know each other and get more comfortable with each other??? Friendships and feelings developing?? Sign me the fuck up lmao. As always, hope y’all enjoy xoxo

Chapter Index

Protective Detail Taglist: @masterlistforimagines @sillygoose6969 @mydaiilyescape @lovebennycolon @the-radical-venus @gemini0410 @garbinge (If you want to be tagged in this fic or any of my other writing let me know!)

A few days into the new arrangement, you and Nestor had started figuring out a little bit of a routine. There were a lot of quiet moments between the two of you—you realized that he wasn’t much of a talker and you were still trying to figure out how to get him to say more than two sentences at a time about anything. It was like your new mission.

He was adamant about doing dishes. He couldn’t stand letting them sit in the sink overnight, so they were always clean first thing in the morning when you came out into the kitchen. He’d shake his head at you before you could even try to tell him that it wasn’t necessary. You wanted to be motivated enough to clean them before you went to bed, but by the time the end of the day rolled around all you wanted to do was crawl under the covers and pass out, so that was usually what you ended up doing.

“I’ll do dishes but I draw the line at combining our laundry,” he said as he carried his small hamper of dirty clothes to the basement where the washer and dryer were.

You laughed, calling after him, “Oh darn. How am I supposed to snoop through your stuff, then?” you felt your phone vibrating in your pocket and you took it out to see who was calling, smiling to yourself when you saw your father’s contact photo on your phone screen, “You’re calling early.”

“You’re awake early,” you could hear the smile in his voice, “Was just calling to check in and see how things are going.”

“I haven’t succeeded in driving him away yet, unfortunately.”

Nestor’s voice came from downstairs, “I can hear you!”

“Good!” you called back with a laugh before returning your attention to your phone call.

Your father sighed, “So things are going well, I see.”

“It’s really not bad at all, Papi. Nestor is alright. It’s just weird living with someone that you don’t know,” you paced the floor of your kitchen, “You know how long he’s gonna have to stay with me?”

“Until I feel that things have been properly handled.”

“You sure Miguel doesn’t need him back?”

“Even if he did, he would never ask me,” you knew your father well enough to know that there was a light smugness to his voice as he said that, “But you’ve been alright? You’re safe?”

“Yes, I’m safe,” you heard Nestor’s footsteps coming back up the stairs and you turned to face him, a childish smirk on your face, “Nestor is doing a fabulous job protecting me.” You chuckled as he pressed his lips into a thin line and made his way to the guest room without a word.

Your father laughed, knowing that you were giving your protective detail a run for his money, “Don’t be too hard on him, mija.”

You laughed, “No promises. I’ll talk to you soon, okay? Love you.”

“Love you too,” he let out a soft chuckle before hanging up the call.

Morning faded into the afternoon and you hadn’t seen Nestor since he disappeared after he brought laundry downstairs. Some moments you wondered if your father’s concern about him being annoyed enough to quit were valid, but you also figured that Nestor was too proud and stubborn to bail. You walked down the hall and knocked on the open door to what you now considered his room. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, tying his shoes. You smiled slightly as he looked over at you, eyebrows raised.

“You almost ready to go?” you asked, “Ready for another very boring night sitting at the bar watching me like a creep?”

He stood up and walked over to you, and for a moment you were reminded of the size difference between the two of you. he glanced down at you, making you feel very small as your face instantly got hot, “Ready to watch me watch you? Like an even bigger creep?” You chuckled, mostly to try and relieve the tension that was bubbling up inside your body. He brushed past you and went to grab his keys, “My turn to drive.”

You followed his path and opened your mouth to argue, but you knew it was useless. With a sigh you grabbed your purse and followed him out the door to his SUV. He’d driven you a couple places in it, and you had to admit it had way more room than your car when it came to grocery shopping. You still weren’t ready to accept it as your main mode of transportation, though. You could’ve had your own nice car, and your father would’ve preferred it, but you didn’t like feeling so obvious. And, in the case of Nestor’s car, you hated feeling like you were constantly fighting to not touch anything in his pristine vehicle.

“You really don’t need to stay for my whole shift, Nestor,” you said as the two of you walked in the front door, “I’m sure there are more important things you could spend a couple hours doing and then just come pick me up afterwards.”

He shook his head, opening the door for you, “Can’t do it.”

It was a busier shift—Saturday’s always were. You almost felt bad for Nestor, but at least there were enough people to keep him occupied and have him feeling like he was actually serving a purpose by being there with you. He never said anything, but you knew that things had been so quiet lately and it was probably a big change of pace from whatever he was usually doing for the Galindos. Any time you tried to ask or allude to it, though, he went silent.

You finally had a moment to pause and catch your breath for a second when you saw Nestor waving you over. You leaned over the bar so he wouldn’t have to shout whatever it was that he had to say to you, sporting your best Customer Service Smile so the people around you wouldn’t get clued in on anything.

“Guy over in that booth has been eyeing you for the last fifteen minutes.”

You were about to tell him that there were always creeps leering at you while you were working, but when you saw who he was talking about, your facial expression dropped. You saw Nestor’s whole body tense up and he went to stand, but you put your hands over his to stop him. He turned to you, clearly confused and on-edge.

“He’s not a problem. Just a shitty ex-boyfriend. He’s annoying, but not a security concern. You can sit, it’s fine,” you nodded to him to reassure him before plastering a smile back on your face and getting back to your other patrons.

Nestor didn’t like the fact that the man kept staring at you. And despite the fact that you had explicitly told him that he wasn’t an issue, there was still a very strong urge to get up and physically throw him out of the building. For the sake of your job, though, Nestor kept himself seated, keeping an eye on everyone else while paying special attention to the man in the booth.

You don’t know how you missed him coming in, but you almost wished that Nestor hadn’t said anything. Now you couldn’t help but to feel him staring at you and it was a difficult feeling to ignore. It would have been a total abuse of power to ask Nestor to go over and get in his face, and you knew it, but the option was still tempting nonetheless. You were glad that he was at least keeping to himself.

That luck ran out too, though. You were looking across the expanse of the bar to see if anyone needed anything, and sure enough he was standing at the far end, a smug grin on his face because he knew that you were going to have to come over and talk to him. Jade saw the look on your face and was about to intervene but you politely waved her off, knowing that it wasn’t her drama to deal with.

“What can I get you, Marco?” your voice wasn’t nasty, but it wasn’t laden with the typical sweetness you used on other customers.

“Whatever’s good on tap tonight, sweetheart.”

“Don’t call me that,” you didn’t look at him as you grabbed a glass and picked a beer out of the tap lineup.

“That your new boyfriend?” he nodded towards Nestor as you handed him the glass.

“And if he is?” this conversation wasn’t going in a good direction, but you were trapped in it regardless.

“I was just wondering, because he’s spent an awful lot of the evening staring at you.”

“Could say the same about you,” you scoffed.

You went to walk away when he reached over the bar and grabbed your arm. His grip wasn’t tight, and you knew that the intention wasn’t to hurt you, just to get your attention, but you still had the overwhelming urge to bust his nose. You ripped your arm from his grip, taking a deep breath as you suppressed the desire to cause a scene.

You almost had no say in the matter, though, as Nestor materialized, placing his hands down hard on Marco’s shoulders, “Everything alright over here?”

Your eyes grew wide, not sure at all how this was going to play out. You could see the fear on Marco’s face, but you also knew that he was too proud and too stupid to back down from a fight, even if it was one he would definitely lose. He shrugged in an attempt to get Nestor’s hands off of his shoulders, “We’re fine.”

Nestor’s eyes zeroed in on you, practically begging you to give him the okay to do some damage, “All good, Y/N?”

Before you could answer, Marco spoke up again, “I said we’re fine.”

“I wasn’t fucking asking you,” Nestor’s voice was low but you could tell by the grimace on Marco’s face that he was definitely digging his fingers into his shoulders.

You nodded, “We’re good.”

Nestor released his grip and you could see Marco’s entire body relax. His gaze lingered on you for a moment and you nodded again to let him know that you could handle it. He didn’t say anything else as he made his way back down to where he had originally been sitting at the bar. His eyes never left the two of you though—you could feel his stare even though your back was to him.

“I figured you would’ve gone for a more warm and fuzzy type,” he tried to play it confidently but you could tell that he was shaken up.

You scoffed, “I’d leave while you still can. He decides to come back over again I won’t tell him to let you go.”

The color drained from Marco’s face, but he just couldn’t make himself smart enough to walk away, “Didn’t think you liked pushy guys.”

You braced your hands on your side of the bar and leaned forward slightly, “I don’t like guys who are pushy with me. Now, get the fuck out before you see how pushy he can really be.”

The second threat was enough to get through. He dropped money on the surface of the bar and left, leaving a full glass of beer behind. You chuckled to yourself as you brought the glass down and set it in front of Nestor. The two of you locked eyes for a moment but didn’t say anything about what had happened as you went about the rest of your evening.

You were cleaning up after your shift, once again it was just you, Jade, and Nestor. You and Jade were going back and forth about some of the ridiculous things that you had heard that night as you wiped down counters and tabletops. Nestor scrolled on his phone, a smile tugging at the edges of his mouth as he listened to the two of you.

When there was a lull in the conversation, he looked up and at you, “So, who was your friend that was here tonight?”

“Ah, he got to meet Marco,” Jade chuckled, shaking her head knowingly.

“Marco?” he raised his eyebrows.

You huffed, rolling your eyes, “Yea, Marco. With a capital M for mierda,” you let out a humorless laugh, “We dated a couple years back.”

“Still not over you?”

Jade interjected before you could, “Can you blame him?”

You smiled and shook your head, “I haven’t heard from him in a while. He pops up every now and then to see if he still has a shot. He never does. I turn him down, send him away, and the cycle repeats itself.”

“Too bad you didn’t have a Nestor sooner,” Jade was stacking glasses with a smug grin on her face, “Could’ve gotten rid of him a long time ago.”

“Nestor is not a bouncer for ex-boyfriends,” you laughed.

She laughed and shrugged, “It is a bonus though.”

You shook your head as the two of you finished up closing down the bar. While it was hectic sometimes when it was only the two of you, those were some of your favorite nights. You’d come to think of Jade more as an aunt or a second mother rather than your boss, and you liked the time you got to spend with her.

After getting home and letting Nestor check the house, the two of you took turns showering off the day. You were trying to figure out if Nestor just had multiple of the same sets of sweatpants and lounge shirts, or if he just washed the same set over and over again. You grabbed a fresh pint of ice cream out of the freezer and grabbed one for him too without bothering to ask, knowing that if you gave him the option he would always say no.

You set his down on the coffee table in front of him before taking a seat on the opposite end of the couch from him, giving him a little space. He looked back and forth between you and the ice cream with a slightly confused expression.

“A thank you for scaring off Marco,” you said with a smile as you scooped out a spoonful of your own.

“It’s my job.”

You raised an eyebrow, “That is not in your job description. He is not a threat to my father’s way of life, or mine for that matter. Now just eat the damn ice cream before I add doesn’t eat dessert to my Nestor Notes.”

He let himself smile as he picked up the pint of ice cream, “Thank you,” he took a spoonful, “And for future reference, my favorite flavor is mint chip.”

Your eyes grew wide, mostly because he actually offered up a piece of personal information, but also at the fact that that was his favorite flavor, “Really? I don’t think I’ve ever met someone with that as their favorite.”

“Now you have,” he nodded before reaching for the controller to turn the TV on.

You chuckled to yourself as you settled back against the couch, pulling your legs up underneath you. You looked over at Nestor, who was slightly hunched over with his elbows resting on his knees. He had the controller in one hand, scrolling through shows, and his ice cream in the other. For a man who didn’t like music while he was driving in the car, he certainly did seem to see eye-to-eye with you when it came to always having the television on in the house for a light layer of background noise. Most of the time neither of you were paying super close attention to what was on, but it was just nice to break up the silence. In that moment, though, both of you felt extremely present.

“I’m one hundred percent eating this whole thing tonight,” you laughed, “It’s counting as dinner and dessert.”

He chuckled, “Sounds good.”

“We can go grocery shopping tomorrow and get real food,” you smiled as you kept your eyes glued to the container in your hands, “I’ll make sure to get you some mint chip.”

He nodded, smiling despite the fact that he wasn’t looking over at you, “I’d appreciate that.”

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