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Saw a post making fun of Asexuals in the year of our Good Vibes 2022 so a reminder:

The A stands for the Asexual community and spectrum (it also represents the Aromantic and Agender communities but I’m Asexual so I’ll be talking about that specifically in this post)

Celibacy is a choice to abstain from sex. Asexuality is a sexuality defined by a lack of sexual attraction to anyone, not by the choice to abstain from sex.

Every asexual person has different feelings on sex (an activity, not an attraction) - some are sex repulsed, some are sex neutral, and some are sex favorable. A physically pleasurable experience is not equal to an attraction to parties involved.

The Asexual community has been around since the dawn of the Queer liberation movement, and Asexual individuals have always existed.

Aphobia is real and has done tangible harm to Asexual people. Listen to and learn from their experiences.

If you make fun of Asexuals and their community jokes (dragons/cakes/cards) you are Aphobic. If you’re Asexual and you make fun of these aspects of your own community or consider them ‘cringe’ you have internalized Aphobia.

Sometimes teenagers and young people will identify as Asexual and change their label later in life. This does not mean that all young people who identify as Asexual will change their minds, nor does it mean that all people who identify as Asexual are young.

Seriously what do you people have against the dragons and cake jokes those are classic and hilarious please deconstruct why you have so much rage for harmless jokes that’s not a healthy response to silliness.

Anyways reblog this post if you’re Asexual, support Asexuals, or really want a dragon.

I was talking with someone about just how canon the ineffable husbands are in good omens and I brought up how Gaiman said that what they have is canonically a love story (which is really reflected in the show, with their moments of vulnerability towards the other, their despair at the thought of losing one another, their comfort with eachother, the way they stick together through millennia even when they're never trying to, etc), but they don't have labels, as they don't have genders and the human conception of intimacy eludes them as ethereal beings that aren't human

And the complications with that

Because this person I was discussing with is not as versed in fandom discourse, and so they're only now finding the vocabulary of "queer baiting" to talk about that Sherlock show

And so they're like "I hope I see Crowley and Aziraphale absolutely eat eachother's mouths, it has to be canonized" and I'm standing here like. It is canon though. Like they won't add some "hetero romance" cop-out last minute. They are canonically in a love story. What's interesting is how the label-less queerness of it can also explore non-binary aspects and an aroace perspective on what "love" is

And they're bummed out because if they don't "absolutely eat eachother's mouths" it doesn't feel as canon to them. And I'm still standing here in aroace like. Bro. There are so many forms of relationships. A kiss on screen doesn't have to make it any more or less canon

But at the same time, from the amatonormative perspective, I get how the kiss on screen is seen as the end all be all. Because in general media, the main pairings will have the kiss at the end. And they will live happily ever after with that

Before the kiss it is only as canon as the kiss is predictable, and after the kiss, you can point to that one scene as "the moment it was canonized for realsies despite even people in the show making constant remarks about this being an obvious thing"

And I kinda hate it

I just wish the whole community wouldn't have to keep its guards up like this so much to discern whether something is coming from a genuine place of wanting to tell a story for a queer audience or about a queer subject or if it's all just a ploy to get our money, spit in our faces, smile at the traditional homophobic crowd and fund some conservative party with it

Because then we wouldn't have to play it by the boring straight rules. If everything points to it being obvious, then why is an intense kiss necessary? Why is it all you want? Why can't this represent a qpr? Or a loving relationship where intimacy in the form of a kiss just isn't something the characters want? Or a more open thing instead of being a purely monogamous arrangement? Or something completely new, a dynamic you can only describe in an essay lest you don't make their chemistry justice?

Aren't all of those just a much more under-thought about queer dynamics than what "I want these characters to kiss eachother until they can't remember their names on screen or else it isn't canon enough" can convey?

But at the same time, without something as concise and strong in media language, how do you make sure it won't all stay in just subtext and the reason it looks like clear text to you is because you're starved for queer stories and have become way too accustomed to reading between the lines?

I mean, it's also been proven to not be an absolute in instances where the text goes ham in letting you know what it's saying, when it's not implying, it is just telling. For one, Rose and Pearl in Steven Universe never did share a kiss on screen, and nevertheless we all know what was going on there

Idk, it's complicated and it's 1am, and this is all just a ramble, but I am in my aroace hating amatonormativity mood and the sentiment that characters being a canon thing without an explicit kiss bums someone out to the point they say "ok, ok, I get the whole nb ace ethereal beings that aren't human idea, but I want something more explicit because it doesn't feel canon enough" when that isn't strictly necessary for the story to get it across just got me in a weird mood and this is about so much more than good omens, I needed to try and word it out and might as well put it out there

Just. Why does queerness have to be allonormative and also amatonormative to be valid in the eyes of the queer masses necessarily? You'd think we'd figured out that queerness goes beyond just the L, G, B and binary T by now

i hope this doesn't come out wrong but realizing that queerness isn't a club really helped radicalize me against exclusionary ideology. being queer isn't a ticket into discourse or political opinion. to me queerness is devotion to radical self-determination. it's saying fuck you to the idea that repressing human expression is pivotal to maintaining societal harmony. specifically from my background of usamerican, it's saying fuck you to the protestant ideology of your wants and needs being subordinate to the standards of god.

I am once again BEGGING folks in the critrole fandom to understand that terms for problematic queer tropes have actual meaning and context.

Queerbaiting cannot exist in the context of "the queer relationship I prefer didn't happen but another one did." Nor does it mean "a queer character doesn't get into a relationship with someone they're implied to be attracted to." It cannot exist because one character you wanted to be queer was not confirmed as such and did not have the chance to explore a relationship the fandom wanted, in spite of a plethora of other queer characters and relationships in the media.

Because queerbaiting means an intended, marketed implication that there would be a central queer relationship that was never actually going to be delivered on, in an effort to attract queer audiences without alienating straight/homophobic ones.

Bury Your Gays cannot exist in the context of "character I ship in a queer relationship died." It cannot exist in the context of "other characters of canonical queer status lived." It cannot exist if the story and setting otherwise strongly and repeatedly refute the idea that any experienced queer happiness must be punished. It cannot exist if the character you're talking about has not been confirmed queer.

Because Bury Your Gays is a term for introducing a queer character into an otherwise straight work (usually in a tokenistic way) and then killing them off without ceremony or purpose—often or, depending on the definition, exclusively just after they have started or consummated a relationship, as it is an implication that queer happiness must be punished as a cosmic rule of the setting.

These tropes virtually cannot be present in a work if they are otherwise refuted by the work itself due to the presence of other queer characters. They suggest a rule of the narrative that queerness is anathema to the narrative and world, and cannot be allowed to exist, which cannot apply if the world and narrative is otherwise very supportive of queerness. In fact, the context of these tropes when they were established implied that this was applicable to the only queer person or relationship in a work, because in the context of their inception, it was nearly unfathomable to have even a semi-mainstream media with numerous queer characters and queerness normalized and expected within the setting.

EXTREMELY specific parameters would have to be met to have either of these tropes in particular present in Exandria at this point, and even then, the question of whether or not it would still apply given the conceit of the setting's relationship to queerness and gender as well as the improvisational format of the medium is something that would take whole dissertations to discuss and come to anything approaching a definitive answer.

Sincerely wondering whether the people on this site understand that the majority of trans people live outside the Western hemisphere (People of The Global Majority includes trans folk), that even most in the West have not transitioned and may never be able to other than socially, and that most are closeted. And the majority with consistent internet access aren't on any social media other than maybe Facebook. I know this is the white USAmerican performative politics hellplace but Idk how y'all can call this the neurodivergent trans site without centering y'know...the majority of living trans people in the world.

Like maybe ask yourself "is this issue any fucking use to a closeted trans person of colour without healthcare who probably doesn't speak English or am I just trying to harrass anybody within reach" before dropping your internet takes or losing your entire shit over one.

Finally decided to indulge in the Siuan/Moiraine meta I've been wanting to write for ages now, musing on the differences in psychology ensuing from their significantly different arcs within the book and show and why Siuan's actions at season 2's apex are entirely in psychological sync with her show portrayal, even if they swerve wildly from the books.

Let's start with some Siuan back-story context. In the books, Tear was undeniably an unfriendly city for those with the One Power. But that translated, in practical terms, to Aes Sedai keeping their stays there brief, and girls who could touch The Source being quickly bustled off to the Tower. There were no Aes Sedai advisers, as in other kingdoms etc., but neither was there the virulent hostility of the show.

Siuan left Tear quickly in the books—the first day she was discovered to have the Power, but only because a sister was traveling through and didn't wish to delay returning to The Tower for such pesky things as sentimental goodbyes. Was that harsh? Absolutely. But the world of the books is exceedingly harsh in some respects, giving girls little to no choice about becoming Sisters, should they be discovered harboring abilities. (Much of Nynaeve's back-story involved hiding her powers precisely because she didn't fancy being ripped from The Two Rivers.)

Siuan faces a much different harshness in the show. The show doesn't do a great job explaining this, but The Dragon's Fang, which is etched onto Siuan's door before her house is unceremoniously torched, is a sign of immense contempt for Dark Friends. Within show Tear, a wary mistrust of Aes Sedai has curdled into something much more dangerous. All use of The Power is suspect, because if men's half was tainted, there's nothing to say women won't go suddenly mad, too.

It's worth remembering as well here that book Siuan was roughly fifteen when she went to The Tower. Now, I'm totally blind, and audio description doesn't give me an age for tiny show-Siuan, but if she's anywhere near puberty, I'll eat my metaphorical hat. And instead of being shepherded to The Tower, she had to flee for her life.

In her family's only means of support, I might ad. Book Siuan was by no means well-to-do, but she was firmly in the middling ranks of the working poor. Show Siuan's family are on the fucking destitution brink y'all. And she took her father's livelihood. Dying destitute ain’t fuckin pretty.

Siuan is not a stupid kid, and she clearly adores the shit out of her papa. The first thing that little girl did the millisecond she got any privileges? Wrote to her papa.

And more than likely, Berden never wrote back. It wouldn't take her long to figure out what'd happened. Moiraine is at great pains to tell Alana Jenny was not "her" support dog, and we laugh it off as oh, look at Moiraine being all adorably prim. Which in one sense, it totally is. But I'd almost guarantee you there's a deeper layer there: it wasn't "hers"; it was "theirs" because once Siuan found out her beloved papa was dead, they both needed something to cuddle.

This may seem like somewhat of a digression, but I'm maundering on because in the books yes, Dark Friends are evil. But they're evil because they caused a terrible cataclysm many thousands of years ago that killed lots of people, and they wanna do it again. There's no personal skin in the game for our beloved ladies, except they get thrust into the job through a convergence of some very complicated circumstances—I'd recommend any show-only watchers read "New Spring" because while I love almost all the changes the show has made ferociously, the way Siuan and Moiraine undertake the search is vastly more plausible as presented by Jordan there.

For Siuan in the show, by contrast, Dark Friend has _very personal ramifications. Dark Friends caused the corrosive mistrust that got her papa _killed! And Moiraine, better than _anyone, knows how that broke her.

And she _knows full well she could be deposed simply for having a relationship with Moiraine. The sensible thing to keep all the awful people from committing terrible crimes that will reverberate down the centuries to impact a little girl just as she was impacted would be to keep both their noses clean. And yet, she loves Moiraine so much that she'll take that risk to maintain not only an alliance about Rand, but a romantic relationship which could, realistically, be discovered much more easily.

And now, Moiraine, the woman who parroted back her beloved father's words of farewell about how Siuan was as clever as a pike and strong as the tides seemingly willfully lied; seemingly became a _Dark _Friend. Even her admonition that Lanfear is "too strong" must bring up so many awful questions: just how long have they been working together for her to know that? Because from Siuan's perspective, what it looks like is Lanfear coming in, guns blazing, to save her accomplice, Moiraine.

When Siuan says that there are rules and they have to abide by them, it's reflecting profoundly deep fears—not only about what Rand could do, but the kind of hatred toward those with The Power it could foster. For twenty years, she's put those fears aside. And now it appears that her going against Tower Law has lost her Moiraine to the Forsaken, and made terrible outcomes nigh on inevitable. And people are really confused about why she looks beaten?

Hell, from her perspective, forget Lanfear's entrance. The very fact Moiraine seemingly lied to her and is now talking about love must seem such a cruel mockery: laughing at Siuan's weakness; just as, perhaps, she was laughing at her with that parting comment in The Tower: an Amyrlin Seat still so swayed by what her papa told her so many years ago. (Yeah, we know it was as close as she could come to an I love you, but how the hell is Siuan supposed to know that, given everything?) This was not willful emotional abuse on someone she knew to be acting in good faith, but a reaction to the person she loved enough to risk the fucking Amyrlin Seat for becoming a monster!

Do I wish they'd picked _any other direction for their relationship? Yes, yes I damn well do. There was plenty to play with for angst factor by having the coup go down as it does in the books: Moiraine not being there to save her when all Siuan wanted was more time together, for one thing. Moiraine needlessly obfuscating in front of Siuan and  the other Sisters in S1, when Leandrin already knew! about the Two Rivers folk. Thinking she was being canny, when all she did was get herself pointlessly exiled so she couldn't protect Siuan? Quite enough of an angst sandwich, thanks ever so, without this new development. But! if they were going to include this, Siuan reacted precisely as I would expect her to, given the context I've outlined above, not in some madly ooc fashion worthy of the tags descending into emotional abuse discourse.

Someone pinged my aphobe radar and I tried to check their blog and they had me blocked lmao

On that note I see yall who immediately dropped Thomas Sanders, called him annoying, and accused him of a bunch of unsubstantiated garbage when he started vocally supporting ace people I have not forgotten and anyone who starts shitting on him is sus

For real though some of you simply would not have survived the superwholock era of television

The idea that "the queer community hates masculinity" is so demonstrably patently false and yet I see people say it so often. Are we going to a different queer community. Are the queer spaces in which femininity is valued over masculinity in the room with us right now

I still find it hard to understand how there are so many fans of various groups across all demographics who fervently deny their favorite idol may be gay, or excoriate fans for "assuming" their sexualities. Listen, I don't believe any idol owes us an explanation of their sexuality or has to come out to officially be a part of the community. Saying you shouldn't assume and solely go off of what they say they are is just........so mind numbingly ignorant and eurocentric like... coming out is not a choice in so many corners of the world or in every industry, especially in a conservative country like Korea where there are zero discrimination laws in place to stop you from getting fired or blacklisted for your sexual orientation.

If an idol is showing us who they are - through their actions, through their words - it's honestly so rude to deny them their authenticity and say it's all fan service or something else that makes you more comfortable than facing the reality that your favorite idol may be gay.

If you don't believe an idol is gay or bi or whatever until they themselves verbally say it then you are completely missing the point

-

Happy to read you express what I feel about the mv so well! I don't hear a lot of fandom talk about it and don't think it's especially well received for the exact reasons you mention. It's very safe, far from an orgy, but still misogynistic as hell...disjointed, too. Personally I love 'hammy Harry' a lot more than 'suffering artist' Harry and would love to have him like this all the time. Although next time he can be in underwear among fully dressed women!!!

Thanks anon - I always like to hear that what I've written resonates with people. Most of what I've seen has been about how people relate Late Night Talking to what they think of Harry. Which is an interesting question, but hardly the only question going on.

In general, I agree that hammy Harry is better than serious artist Harry in a music video. But I do think in this particular case Hammy Harry is not in the rest of the music video.

For example, in the scene in the very big bed with lots of people. It's true that it's very safe and far from an orgy. But the actors who look most feminine (and very noticeably only the actors who look most feminine) are still being required to perform 'sexy' in a way that is completely incongruous with what Harry is doing. They're having to perform sexuality and desireability for the camera - and Harry's hammy reaction (and the much more neutral reaction of people who are less feminine looking) makes it clear that everything is a performance and this is for the camera.

I do want to go into a little more detail, to really emphasise that choices were made in how that scene was directed and edited that led to the result that we saw.

The two most obvious examples of this are the difference in performance of the person on the left of Harry (obviously having to perform for the male gaze) and the person on the right (at the beginning of the sequence. And then the very last shot the people who look most feminine people are all having to perform for the male gaze (and they've changed out the person on Harry's right - which means it's a more feminine looking person touching him and looking at the camera) and it ends on a man asleep (and it was cute to learn he was actually asleep, but that doesn't change the performing and editing decisions).

The pillow fight scene is much more basic - it's a really boring and cliched version of the male gaze and the decisions about it were quite mundane - just the activity, the costumes and the casting. Where as with that first bed scene with lots of people there were a lot of really intentional decisions made that ensured that the video didn't present women as people with views and inner lives, but instead emphasied them as objects for the male gaze.

Wow how dare you be right and valid in the things you say on the internet. (She said, voice dripping with sarcasm)

At everyone that is being a dick to my Merle, y'all are the entire reason they make the kinds of posts you're upset about. Go look in a mirror, touch some grass, and look deep, deep inside your heart to find out what's made you act like such a dick. Feel free to direct all death threats to me, who has no patience for people being assholes to my friends for speaking the goddamn truth.

We're all queer, lgbtqa+, homos, whatever the fuck you want to call it. Theres no fucking reason to attack and tear each other down when the rest of the world already does that for us.

Stop being assholes on the internet to make yourself feel better and to make up for how little control you have over your own life.

Signed- a GenderQueer, Ace, Pansexual

Honestly they just better be happy that I'm just blocking them and that my pal Ino isn't seeing the shit I'm getting in my ask box because the way she would explode smh

As always, ur majesty, u dropped smth 👑 the way this ask came in with others it fully looked like u were yelling at someone being a jerk and it made me snort lmao.

ohhhhh i see, tumblr. this is bait to make me go ad free huh