I watched episode 5 of HSMTMTS season 3 and I didn't like how the show treated Jet outing Maddox to their parents by showing her texts with her girlfriend as "nobody's perfect, everyone makes mistakes, but my heart is in the right place." And from a gay showrunner too?!
I've noticed that in various movies and tv shows, forcibly outing people is treated as not a big deal, or it is, but the person doing the outing is not punished.
Here are a few examples from the top of my head:
In Love, Simon (this is Tumblr, we all know what Love, Simon is, right?), Martin outed Simon. The fallout was shown, and Simon did yell at Martin for outing him, but he got his redemption at the end by paying for Simon's last ride at the ferris wheel which united him with Bram.
In Last Christmas (the Christmas movie with Emilia Clarke and Henry Golding), Kate (Emilia Clarke) outed her closeted sister to her parents because of a silly argument, but she was swiftly forgiven.
In Happiest Season (yet another Christmas movie but with Kristen Stewart, but this is Tumblr so we all know what it is, right?), Harper's sister outed her in front of all the party guests and also their parents, but she was also swiftly forgiven.
Outing is one of the most queerphobic and evil things you can do to a closeted person, and I'm tired of it not being portrayed as the horrible thing that it is, and how characters who out closeted people barely get a slap in their wrists for doing so.
I'm closeted and I fear being outed because of my family and surroundings, and maybe it's just a case of me not being able to relate to homophobia in Western countries (or lack thereof) vs. Eastern countries, but it's so interesting how outing is never treated as a horrible thing to do but simply an honest mistake.
If you're seeing this post, I would love to hear your opinions on this. Maybe you disagree? Maybe you think outing people is not that big of a deal? Maybe I got some details wrong? Maybe there are fiction out there that shows that outing someone is wrong and punishes the people doing the outing? Feel free to reply or reblog.
Harry needs to come out the closet (as a gay man) or he's going to continue getting backlash every time he talks about his sexuality. I'm dreading My Policeman because it's going to come up again. The best thing he can do is go public with a guy, because more bearding will result in backlash and it will make it harder for him to come out in the future. It sounds mean but I hope someone outs him. People have but it never makes big headlines. He needs to be out. What do you think will happen?
You hope someone outs him. You hope someone outs him.
I need you to read that out loud to yourself, and consider why you said it — consider why you said it anonymously. I’m not in the habit of shaming people, but if you take anything away from my blog, I need it to be an understanding of how utterly violent that statement is.
Consider for a moment, just a moment, that Harry is aware of what the backlash that staying in the closet will bring him. Consider what reasons he may possibly have to choose to weather that backlash — beyond good PR and being touted publicly as having the right to show up as himself, in the most authentic version he can be. Consider that maybe you — a complete stranger who’s been watching his life from the veiled glass of the media — actually doesn’t know what’s best for him better than he does.
Harry is first and foremost a person, before he is an entertainer, singer, celebrity, public figure. He has the right to belong entirely to himself, whether or not his career was built on popularity and public support. And yet, his entire life has been defined by the stripping away of his privacy and sense of self, in order to make him palatable and marketable.
Consider what stripping him now, of his inalienable right to choose whether to even define his sexuality, let alone publicly, could do to his sense of person. Imagine, for a moment, what it would feel like, to have one of the few pieces of yourself that belongs entirely to you, one of the few ‘true’ choices (if it can even be called that, given all we know about how he and Louis have been treated simply because of their sexuality) you have had in the last twelve years wrestled away from you for the benefit of… whom? For why?
Are you the one who’s going to deal with the lifelong and irreversible consequences of being outed? Are you going to be the one who shows up everyday to deal with the insensitive and uneducated public takes about his person? Are you going to be there, facing every lost career opportunity? Are you going to be the one who comforts his partner, when his partner is outed indirectly and faces the same exact consequences just as unwillingly?
I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I pray to God Harry and Louis are never forcibly outed ever ever ever.
from outing by anna akhmatova
The New Yorker - May 15, 1943
Artist: Susanne Suba
Coffee date with Ganyu <33 (gf!ganyu x gn! reader)
I will try to keep this gender neutral as possible please let me know if I mess up.
Awaken by the sunlight peeking through the curtains and gently caressing your soft(or rough!) skin you roll over gently, taking your hands to comb through your hair and rubbing your eyes gently. With a stretch and yawn you get up and immediately brush your teeth, and hair, not bothering with showering as you already did so before heading to bed. Making a small cup of fruit for you to eat before you decide to prep yourself for your lovely date with the, just as lovely, Ganyu. “Ah, how could someone like me be so lucky to end up with a adepti like her- shes so perfect! while im…” You push away your thoughts as you shove another piece of fruit into your mouth, letting the cool-sweet taste envelope your mouth. Quickly finishing up the small cup of fruit you decide to get ready.
Getting up and putting on a very little amount of makeup that you had saved up for your dates. Brushing the ends of your hair again before going through it thoroughly to get all that small messy knots out to make sure it was nice and smooth, before applying some hair products to make your hair shiny and soft. Oh how you enjoyed getting yourself ready for your beautiful girlfriend, you loved when she showered you in compliments. How you seemed to get redder/pinker despite the already applied blush dusting your cheeks. After finishing up your hair and face you carefully put on a beautiful dress shirt and high waisted pants along with a coat, you had bought just for this date a week prior. Finishing the look off with a belt with your Electro vision embedded within the clasp of the belt. Shining your dress shoes you carefully put them on, not wanting them to crease. Walking out of your house on the western side of Liyue you begin your walk to the harbor, from afar it was dimly lit as the sun had been slowly embracing the land. A little less than an hour and a half you reached the harbor. Casually greeting the millelith along the way to Bubu pharmacy to pick up some fresh cool Qingxin flowers for your lover, who you knew, loved looking and eating the cool herb. Once you got to the pharmacy you were greeted by the sweet young herb collector, Qiqi. “Hello, Qiqi! I’m here to pick up the qingxin flowers I ordered a few days ago.” She stared at you with a blank look for a few seconds before calmly asking for your order slip. Taking the slip out of your pocket you handed it down to her, “Here you go!” quickly grabbing it and examining it before pulling her stool to the wall behind her she examined the slip once more before opening a cubby and quickly grabbing the neatly wrapped qingxin. “Since you are regular Dr. Baizhu says you get a discount… so the total is…” taking a moment to think of the math in her head then quickly writing the numbers down and analyzing the book Dr. Baizhu had left for her, “About… 10,000 mora. Does that sound good to y/n?” Quickly pulling out your wallet that was loaded with mora you swiftly slid the pieces of gold over to the young herb collector, lucky for you, you were an adventurer. So paying for the herbs were no big deal, especially since they were for your lover, no price was too high for her.
Leaving the pharmacy you started heading to the meeting spot for your date, Ganyu wasn’t a big fan of having dates within Liyue harbor so you guys always tended to travel outside of the harbor for dates. Walking back the way you came you were met with the sight of your loving girlfriend watching clouds pass by, she had seemed too be waiting. Hopefully you hadn’t kept her waiting long, approaching her you gently speak not wanting to startle her, “Hey, Ganyu! I hope I didn’t keep you waiting very long… A little herb collector was taking some time trying to calculate the price for…” Pulling out the neatly wrapped Qingxin flowers you watched Ganyu’s expression lighten up, “No no its okay, I was a bit… eager? So i decided to come earlier than usual, haha..!” She rubbed the back of her head out of embarrassment. Walking up to take a seat next to her you carefully placed the flowers down and gently plopped down. Ganyu had always admired how you warmed up to her, “Here, I got you a nice cool coffee drink, it was a “mocha”, right?” she grabbed the cold sweaty drink as she handed it to you then wiping her hand on her side, “I hope I didn’t get the wrong drink…” After taking a small sip you analyze the flavor… Watching your face for any sort of distortion, met by your face relaxing into a warm smile. The adeptus softly let out a sigh of relief, “I was so worried I had gotten you the wrong one..!” a small kiss had been pecked to her ever soft, clear, porcelain skin. With a small ‘eep’ her face became dusted with a pretty pink blush, “Even if you got me the wrong one, I still would’ve enjoyed it just as much. While I enjoy the sweet coolness of the drink, their is nothing sweeter and cooler than my ever so loving, Ganyu..” Winking at her slightly she jokingly pushed you hiding her flustered face within her palms. “Ah! I can’t believe you got me this flustered already, y/n!!” Softly giggling you decide to prepare her sweet, yet bitter drink. Softly plucking the petals off of the Qingxin and slowly adding them too her caffeinated drink. Eyes slowly following your movement, enjoying the sight of her lover treating her drink, ever so careful, made her smile in adoration. Adding the last petal you carefully handed her the warm drink, taking a small whiff of it, you could see her relax her body as she let a breathe of content. All that could be heard was the small sipping noises of your beverages, and the leaves swaying upon the sandbearer trees, that adorned your lovers figure like a warm ,yet, pleasant fall day. You were the first to break the silence, “Are you enjoying this, love?” turning you head slightly to look at her. “How could I not?” Ganyu turned to face them smiling pleasantly, “I’m having a day off to spend it with my amazing lover, I got to drink this amazing coffee with the Qingxin you added yourself, you always do such an amazing job at finding out what I like. No lover of mine has ever payed so much attention to me..” looking back down at her drink, taking another sip. You wish you could say you hated smiling like an idiot but, everyone in Liyue knew how much you loved her. Whiled many were envious and took their emotions out on you, she would always make sure you were fine before teaching them a lesson or two in mannerism.
Putting your drink down next to you, you scooted closer to the horned girl, making yourself comfortable and laying back onto the soft grass. “Let’s cloudgaze… Doesn’t that one right there look like Guoba!” pointing up to the cloud, that looked nothing like Guoba. Laying her coffee somewhere safe, she laid her head back onto your arm and looked for this cloud, “Personally, I think it looks like Madam Ping’s cleansing bell.” tilting your head a bit you began to see it. “If you tilt your head like this, yeah, you could totally see it!” Wow. This must be one oddly shaped cloud, no? Replicating your movements Ganyu’s horns slightly poking your forearm, inner elbow, and the back of her head slightly. She spoke softly, “I guess changing your perspective can change a lot of the image, I guess that could also be said for humans, and adepti…”
You knew Ganyu always had trouble fitting within society, whether that be as a human, or Qilin. Brief silence had soon become suffocating so what was the best way to calm it? Being the sly lover you were, of course you wrapped your free arm around her torso and hugged her tightly. “Your’e absolutely right, Miss general secretary of The Liyue Qixing!” giggling to yourself, you knew Ganyu got embarrassed when you recited her full position name. She didn’t protest this time though, their was no loving bickering, just silence. Oh no. Had you taken it too far? Did she not like when you joked about her work? Did she- Thoughts cut off with Ganyu nudging her head into the crook of your neck, “I am glad you agree, y/n, lover of the, general secretary of The Liyue Qixing.” This was the first time shes ever followed up on a joke you made. Bad thoughts clearing away from your mind, immediately feeling your face warm up, you weren’t ready for what she was about to say. “Or should I say, the future spouse of the general secretary of The Liyue Qixing!” giggling to herself she hadn’t noticed your tomato-like face. Shyly giggling along with her you soon embraced her ready to make her just as flustered, “Of course my dear, Little miss Ganyu..! I should start building a house for us, when we decide to grow our family, we wont have too worry!” Oh. my. GOD. Ganyu was REDDER THAN A JUEYUN CHILI- Smiling to yourself you place a kiss on her horns as you held her head gently into the crook of your neck. “ I love you so much, Ganyu. I don’t think I could love anyone other than you. Even if the archons tried to separate us I wouldn’t allow it. Even if it meant I would have to work long and hard to ascend to Godhood. I would do anything for you… I mean it.” All she could do was embrace you back, moved by your words, she knew that you meant every sigle word. Feeling herself calm down she allowed herself to relax within her lovers warm arms. Soon the half adeptus would finally drift off into a serene sleep along with her dear lover, y/n…
ending notes: I THINK I GOT CARRIED AWAY????IDC THO I LOVE GANYU SM!!!
Hey, so I want to start some pride discourse that I feel really passionate about but haven't seen anyone discussing. But I really want to talk about how messed up taking photos at pride can be.
So this came to the front of my mind because my city had a belated pride this weekend. Now while I did have fun and enjoyed supporting local queer businesses, this place had a lot of stuff that made me give it the side-eye. A rainbow covered cop car was leading the parade, and a bunch of corporations and an honest to god church had stalls there. So needless to say, it was an ill-informed event. But still, beggars can't be choosers.
However, the thing that really really peeved me was the sheer number of cameras there. Not just people taking pictures on their phones though that did irk me (I'll put some guidelines for doing that ethically later on) but honest to god professional photographers and camera operators clearly working for professional organizations that will then be posted publicly for all the world to see.
In case the issue isn't clear, these photographs are going to out a lot of people and being outed can be dangerous as shit. Now I know some people may respond to that with "well if you're at a pride parade, doesn't that mean you must be out?" To which my answer short answer is no, and my long answer is no, and I don't think you properly understand what the meaning of closeted is.
Everyone is only out relatively. Your family might know, but you might have one friend you can't quite bring yourself to tell. Your parents might know, but it might not quite be worth the mental energy to tell your grandparents. But much much more importantly, you might be out socially but not out to your fucking employer. Every time you meet a new person as a queer person, you have to come out to them. If those photos go public, everyone can fucking see you and find out you were at pride. Everyone. School, college, parents, grandparents, friends, family, acquaintances, employers past, present, and future. There are people for whom that would not be an issue, but there are people for whom it is. I would say I am now in the former category but the last time I attended this parade I was in the latter and I know there will be other people who were in that category in that parade
I also anticipated the response that by being at pride, any of those people could see you anyway so who cares, but there is a big difference between perhaps bumping into someone at pride, a thing you can then speak to them about and explain your presence there either truthfully or not depending on the context, and there being a permanent public record of your attendance for all to see that was taken without your consent or often knowledge. Those things are worlds apart.
The worst example of this I saw, was one of the present cops, in full uniform, filming the entire parade and everyone in it. He has a pretty extensive record of most of the queer people and allies in my city, including me and I hope people realise how dangerous that could be.
So that's the issue, here's what I recommend people do:
If you are attending pride and taking photos:
Unless only people you know and who have consented to you posting the image are visible in the foreground and background, do not post the image publicly. Don't put it on Facebook, don't put it on Instagram, definitely don't put it on Twitter, you could maybe risk Snapchat but I don't recommend it. Send it to friends in private messages, keep it on your phone as a personal memory but don't fucking post it.
If you absolutely must post the photos, make sure anyone who isn't someone you know and asked for consent to photograph is obscured or cropped out.
Now for people who are social media managers of companies and organisations that want to attend pride. I will tell you about the two social media accounts I ended up on after pride.
The first was a charity supporting elderly people. They had one representative, an older woman whose daughter came out and as a result, she became a really enthusiastic ally. She was lovely. She noticed my friend group didn't have many flags (it was everyone but my first pride) and gave us some of the ones her organisation had printed with their logo on. We waved them during the parade and talked with her, at the end she asked us all if we were ok having our photos taken and posted on their social media. We all consented and she did exactly that.
The second was our local university. They took several random photos of crowds without talking to a single person they photographed. I can't tell you who it was that attended pride because, despite their promotional materials being covered in my friends and my faces, I didn't speak to a single person representing them.
Guess which acted more ethically. Guess.
So your advice as someone attending pride for corporate PR is:
For the love of God either only take photos of organisation members, or ask the people whose face and identity you are using for fucking clout.
Finally, for those of you who are attending pride but don't want your photo taken, or people who want to help out others who might be in that position, I offer a skill I learnt long ago.
When I was about 15, my high school had a documentary crew in residence for about 4 months, specifically targeting my year group. I do not recommend it, it was a massive massive warping of reality to fit a "kids these days don't read" message that was blatantly false. One of the main characters of the documentary sexually assaulted my friend, a thing the school knew about but let him star anyway. But the reason I bring this up is that as an awkward 15-year-old, I didn't want to have anyone look at me, much less film me and put me on national TV. So I single-handedly ruined so much of their footage with my little trick and didn't appear in a single frame. Producers Hate Me!
Here is the trick:
Whenever you are in frame, flip off the camera.
Whenever you see a camera aimed near you, hold up a middle finger and ruin their fucking shot, until the camera goes down or you are out of frame.
If they catch it, they cant use the photo and even if they don't catch you, you will have ruined their promotional footage, showing you're frustrated with them, their lack of concern for your privacy and your general contempt for their organisation using queer people for clout while actively endangering us. Which is a small victory but a petty one. It isn't going to solve everything. But it's what I offer you.
It won't solve the cop filming issue but it will prevent them from using queer people as copaganda. The only way to stop the actual threat is to get rid of cops and pride and ideally, getting rid of cops in general.
If people have other recommendations please add them. I think this is a really underrepresented problem and I want to see more people discussing it.
Ace culture is people thinking they can out you because "it's not like you have to truly come out for a preference" and then they proceed to incorrectly describe what it means :)
saddle shoes 3363
I don’t wanna talk [to my parents about my asexuality]
My parents don’t know that I am asexual and I don't know how to tell them either. After all, we would have to indirectly talk about my (nonexistent) sex life. It's not like "Mom, Dad I like girls/boys". It would be explaining that I would like to have a romantic relationship, but that this is unlikely due to my lack of sexual desire. I think I am still waiting for the perfect opportunity. But when will this come?
Bad Buddy - Talking more about the Outing
So I’m watching some parts of P’Aof and his friends’ reaction to episode 9. They had Ohm on to react with them and he asked why Pran wasn’t angry with Wai. They said that Pran felt guilty about not telling Wai and basically choosing Pat’s side by defending him to Wai and his friend all the time. Ohm said he didn’t understand Pran’s feelings about it because he was playing Pat and Pat would have been angry.
I get why Pran reacted that way, but I find it sad. I think Wai did need to apologize and I hate that Pran's guilt and love for his friend overshadowed the consequences for Wai. It's like when Wai manipulated Pran into taking the sound job for him. He's just doesn't come off as a good friend. He's selfish and vindictive. He's always ready to fight physically when he thinks Pran needs it, but he's shit emotionally. He could've confronted Pran and told him that lying to him about Pat hurt him, but he chose to humiliate Pran and out his secret (that he heard him say he was scared of people finding out about) to the school.
I know we see Wai being a better friend later, but we don't see how he got there. Ultimately it's Pat and Pran's story, so maybe there just wasn't time, but it felt like he was forgiven too easily. The thing he did with the CCTV should have nothing to do with the outing. At that point, he was paying back Pat for defending him. He never redeemed himself for the outing and I kind of hate that, even though it's kind of realistic. People get forgiven when they don't deserve it all the time.
I really like what Ohm said about Pat, cause it's so true. Pat would be pissed and he sort of is in the series. He openly mocks Wai for being a bitch about the whole thing and is obviously upset at how it's affecting Pran. And I think that's the difference. Aside from just their personalities, Pran and Pat react differently because of who the outing really affects most: Pran. Pat wanted to be out and was more uncomfortable hiding it, so it wasn't a huge deal for him. But it was for Pran who was scared of everyone finding out. Pat was angry at Wai (and would've been angry at anyone in Wai's place) because Pran was hurt.
Link to video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZRbkigrWSc&t=27s
I just found out that my friend outed me without permission. Luckily, the person they told was someone I trust, but I still feel betrayed. I thought they would understand how important it is to me that my asexuality stays a secret, since they're queer themself, but I guess I was wrong.
Probably nobody will read this, and I guess someone else has already said this before........ but I've seen yet another person complaining about Dan outing Yaz to the doctor in 'Eve of the Daleks' and I just wanted to say why I don't think it as an outing at all.
First of all, we see Dan first and foremost confronting Yaz about her feelings, and he knows very well that it is a delicate issue for Yaz, he knows that she probaby needs to elaborate and process it before she does something about it. In that moment Dan was checking in with her, he wanted to understand the nature, the depth of Yaz's sentiment, and maybe he even wanted to give her that final little push that made her realize/admit that she's in love with Thirteen. We can't forget that Dan and Yaz spent 4 years together, they seem good Friends, they truly care about each other, and as he mentioned, he noticed that Yaz was in love with the Doctor, so he was asking her because he could see how this situation is hurting Yaz and is trying to help.
With Thirteen the situation is different. I'm sure Dan really cares about the Doctor as well, and is super happy and grateful to know her and being on these extraordinary adventures with her, but the truth is that he hasn't spent that much time with her, and he hasn't such a solid bond or connection as his relationship with Yaz. Hell, he even met Yaz before Thirteen. Nonetheless, he seems like a pretty good judge of character, and during the week that went by between the s13 finale and EotD, I think that he noticed how 13 poorly behaves towards Yaz (it's just my personal headcanon, but I'd like to think that before reuniting with the doctor Dan believed that Thirteen and Yaz were an actual couple). And I think that 13's behavior frustrates him a great deal.
And in that scene right before "the outing" the Doctor once again is acting harshly towards Yaz (despite her immediate apologies), and Dan himself is upset about how much Yaz is in distress for this, so he decides that he just can't be quiet. He KNOWS that Thirteen is aware of Yaz's feelings for her, and he KNOWS that Thirteen is deliberately avoiding to aknowledge the situation (even though he doesn't know why she's acting like this). Dan isn't outing Yaz simply because he isn't revealing any information or secret that 13 isn't supposed to know. Instead, he is just calling the doctor out for her bullsh*t, he's trying to make her realize that her attitude and her actions are deeply hurting Yaz, so she better do something about it.
He has no ill intent, he's just looking after his friends: we can argue that maybe it wasn't the best way to face the issue, but I also think that 13 needed to be put in a situation where she had no 'escape' but deal with it, since she is so good at hiding/avoiding emotions and confrontations when possibile.
In conclusion: give Dan his beloved wok so he can use it to smash some sense into the doctor.
Omg, this post got way out of hand
hiya I'm looking for a fic about trans Peter? It had Scott make a comment about his hips being wide or smth and it really upsets Peter and I think tony and Steve go and comfort him? Sorry I don't remember it well :(
Thank you to those who contributed to our Follower Outreach Program for helping to locate this story!
What's in a Serum? by purplestarfish
“Okay, that answers that question… so we need butter, sugar, vanilla extract, flour… can you grab the flour?” he asked Peter, pointing. “It should be in that cupboard above the stove."
In hindsight, that was the moment when everything went wrong.
Timing never had been Steve’s strong suit.
---In which being trans post-spider bite is harder than it sounds.