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goldenguillotines · 11 months

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A few things going forward- and I try not to make stuff like this but I feel like it's necessary not only to kinda. Put boundaries down but also for my comfort as well. This isn't sparked by one person but rather multiple occurances and just. Wanna be transparent, because I do have feelings. Gg isn't always super happy go getter energy silly everyone sees me as. I know some people don't really care and that's fine I just want to be clear (pls read tags as well)

I'm going to be selective with who I ship my characters/plot my characters with. I don't mind characters being friends and such but I have been feeling like I've been given mixed signals from people I've reached out to or during talking about them? It makes it hard to tell if I'm just on some one Sided eager excited and the other person isn't digging it. Or that plots get dropped and suddenly im seeing what we were planning or brainstorming thrown away because I wasn't told they were doing something with someone else. I need to explicitly say, I don't mind when plots cross, but if were planning a quad. Most of my characters are monogamous or specifically only open to polycules or occasionally fully polyam. I try to keep it single ship because of bad expierences in the past and my own comfort with how I interact with my characters. Hard to be super chipper excited about it when it brings up bad personal memories myself. I kinda put a piece of myself in every character so trust me when I say it makes me feel disjointed.

Just please be direct with me and tell me if you don't wanna! I hold these quads hostage basically with the idea of a ship that gets dragged on when I wanna do stuff! Again- I know I get excited and wanna do stuff!! Brand new blorbo syndrome!! You can just say no! I won't be mad! I promise. I won't be upset! Or just give me clarity that a quad is shifted. When I'm given no clarity at all- It makes me feel really bad. Again this is not about anyone in particular and imbkot trying to vague anyone but understand this has happened from different people

My commissions are gonna be semi-closed going forward. I don't have the time for it and frankly I'm not sure where I am art wise.

I am putting this blog on a semi Hiatus. Kinda smacking it with that sticker because I haven't really been producing art that i enjoy. Everyone can say "I love gg art" and all that but it's like looking at a mess I made on my canvas and just wondering where I went wrong. It's very very upsetting for me when art is my outlet, I do it to be happy! I like making! I really do. But I feel like stranger with it. My skills have stagnated and it hurts me a lot. The only thing I've felt like that hasn't been bad has been my chibis and I know people don't want to see those all the time. I'm kinda trying to work through it but it hurts. I'm a human, I have feelings. I try not to put my emotions too online or my problems because I think a lot of people here use Tumblr to escape like I do. I try to be positive! I wanna keep things happy and light but I can't always be like that

I wanna also mention I have been trying to keep up with everyone's happenings and stuff but I am awake about 12~14 hours a day working or having my responsibilities. I am tired. So if you haven't seen me in your notifications a lot or when you do, I seem deflated. I don't have a lot of energy to spare and I try to catch stuff here and there. But I won't be able to see everything. it's not that I'm avoiding anyone's content or something like that. I just. Have a physical job.

#long #negative (?)#Im not vauging anyone this isnt from anything like recent i jsut think memefurvur made some good points #that i felt like making something for my own. Because it made me realize i should say something rsther than like #pussyfoot it or ignore how i feel.#I kinda feel like a stranger recently and it feels bad. //shrugs// idk anyways im gonna go have my emotions for a while #I wont delete this one but know itd not anything i want to speak and repeat

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islandofsages · 2 years

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Hi! Could I request Albedo (or anyone else if you prefer) x artist male reader.

The scenario being someone came into their studio before hours and painted over some previous sculptures the reader did or the stranger messed with an incomplete sculpture. The reader sees what's happened and rants to Albedo and seeks comfort from him.

🦇

summary: in which empathy holds you close.

characters: albedo x artist male reader

tags: relationship not specified, canon compliant, hurt/comfort, fic format

warnings: embracing, reader is sad

author's notes: damn 🦇 anon your timing is impeccable i was literally writing an albedo comfort fic wtf are you spying on me?? jokes aside that's why i was quick to finish this aside from wanting a request for so long LMAO anyways i hope you like this <3

edit: i forgot to mention that i gained some inspiration from vandalize by one ok rock LOL ive been dabbling in so much sonic content lately pls

word count: 1.0k

FEM/FEM-ALIGNED DNI. YOU WILL BE BLOCKED.

You can feel the weight of the world resting on the top of your shoulders, and yet you muster up the strength to make your way to Dragonspine - with your usual posture too, instead of a more slouched-up one although all you want to do is lie down. Even now, you have no idea what you’re not curled up in a blanket and sobbing silently into your sheets. Perhaps you just need a shoulder instead of a blanket.

You don’t know who did it - it didn’t seem to matter at the time anyway - but the damage has been done and your head is in ruins; just like how your work in progress was ruined by some unknown harlot. You know not whether the perpetrator truly intended to vandalize your heart by leaving such a mark or if they were forced to - but, again, it matters not. Your heart is in pieces and here you are, seeking the doctor who could hopefully aid you in piecing them back together.

When you finally reach his little lab, a surprising sight greets you; the chief alchemist is currently pondering something, his right hand cupping his chin and his eyes shut tight. That itself is not surprising but rather, it is the absence of the Spark Knight. You see this as a sign and make your way deeper with a relieved sigh. With all your leftover strength, you walk over to where he is standing.

“Hey, Albedo,” you greet him. At first, he doesn’t notice you and barely hears your greeting, though you don’t blame him - you’re barely making the effort to really assert your presence. At that point, you are an eidolon, transparent and lacking. Plus, he seems to be very immersed in whatever he’s thinking of or imagining. You can’t help but wish that you are in his thoughts. Finally, after a few moments, he opens his eyes and his arm casually falls to his side when he sees you.

“Oh, (Y/N). What brings you here?” Even hearing him say your name slightly melted away your worries. But it was not enough to wipe the frown off your face. You sigh tiredly for what seems like the umpteenth time today. You find it hard to let out everything in your mind though you possess the words. While you answer him with your silence, he drags a nearby chair and offers it to you. You let your weight drop you down on the seat.

“Did something happen? You may tell me anything - I will listen to you,” he speaks - so many generous offers today, you think to yourself. But it’s not strange, no; rather, you just don’t think you deserve such kindness. You mean, you are apparently horrible enough to deserve having your work and heart being vandalized in such a manner. You shake your head in defeat. Why did you come here in the first place? Is this not futile? Is this not pathetic?

“...I don’t wanna be a burden to you, Albedo,” you merely say. Ironically so, because you came here to seek comfort and yet here you are pushing it away. Is it not strange, the way human beings work? Is the fear of being a burden to someone else really the reason why you don’t want his help? You vaguely recall someone saying that this is a type of mental resistance…

“But you are a burden to me. And so is everyone else who has the honor of existing.”

“Huh?” His answer catches you off guard. He always had such a calm disposition and acted like a caring older brother to others…to think that he thought so all this time. You feel your melancholy deepening though you are not surprised - Albedo has always been quite the blunt and honest person. You appreciate him for that fact at least.

“Even our names carry weight - how could one not be a burden? Is it not a gift to have your load be felt by others and to leave a mark of your existence? Is it not an insult to have no freight?” he elaborates and you feel your muscles relax; you didn’t even notice you were so tense, especially because you felt like you’ve been slumping all over the place. For the first time that day, the corner of your lips quirk up slightly. Tears threaten to escape from the corner of your eyes.

“Tell me, (Y/N). What happened?” he reiterates, his tone growing gentler with every syllable. You can no longer take it; tears stream down your cheeks. He fetches a handkerchief from a table nearby and, once he’s sure you’re comfortable, he wipes your tears away. He rubs your back as you choke on hiccups and shallow breaths. You try your best to speak.

“Someone…my sculpture…it’s ruined…” you confess in between sobs and instinctively lean into Albedo, your head on his shoulder. He continues to rub circles on your back with his left arm while his right arm pulls you closer to him; an embrace you needed oh-so-badly.

“We’ll find whoever did such a thing to you,” he assures you. Though you want to tell him that there’s no need to put that much effort into such a small incident, you lack the energy. All that crying has left you more vulnerable and exhausted than usual. It took so much of your strength to let all that out, you find it funny that some find it a sign of weakness to cry - this was the strongest thing you did so far.

You let out a low “Mm” in response and shut your eyes, ending your small breakdown there. You can feel Albedo stroking your hair and you relish in his warmth. Deep somewhere within your heart, you don’t want him to know that you’ve been sculpting his figure - that is why you were hesitant to let him investigate your art studio. But his touch has proved that there is nothing to fear, nothing to be shy about. Especially when a portrait of you sits in a hidden corner of his little lab. You two have already memorized each other’s every little facial detail.

Just as art is a form of love, love is also a form of art.

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incarnateirony · 1 year

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Yall. Seriously. Get lives and souls.

Sending a person at me that struggles with MHI for you to influence and convince that I was "faking" about being shot at, despite the pictures, only for you to keep trying to manipulate her for information digging NOBODY was falling for your shit on. Somehow your story went from accusing me of faking to totes being here for TPTB research to actually for a headline to actually actually for a college study group application because you got nailed to the wall on how transparently bullshit your whole approach was.

The sheer fact that you absolute inhuman sacks of air-wasting are stunting like this, denying someone's photographically displayed trauma that is impacting their entire life, just to wank around and try to root out information about who I'm connected to by trying to make me ragesplode? You people are beyond help. You are beyond humanity. You have completely surrendered anything representing this to a fake space with fake identities and fake garbage trying to look big in a digital social circle that matters negative nothing to the real world.

Get fucking lives, you pieces of shit, and stop harassing people.

Goddamn literal sacks of shit trying to live vicariously by pretending everyone's as vacuous of a fake husk as you compulsive fucking lying nobodies holy fuck me running, and you guys are so fucking bad at this you don't even read what you start trying to root for information about and read it literally opposite of what's being said to your face while you're being called out.

Leave us alone you fucking asshats. The reason you refuse to let yourself understand what all this shit adds up to is because you already see it, you already know, you've already nullified your placement in this fandom with these guys, while all your friends are whining on twitter asking why it seems like Misha hates them suddenly.

I need you people to understand how psychologically unwell you collectively are lost into 15 plus years of absolute fandom fake nonsense that you somehow felt entitled to accuse someone posting personally with images of the narrowly surviving a violent attack on their lives that they were somehow faking. I need you to understand how psychologically out of pocket you all are that you even felt that was a possible angle to take or something you had the right to comment on for all of your fandom crying. I have been doing nothing but reblog videos that happened to have the same lyrics as CW tweets that would soon follow. That is literally all I have been doing for like a month. And you still cannot bring yourselves to not try to involve yourselves with opinions on my personal life pretending you can argue about it like you can argue about fiction. Seek help. All of you.

I am a real person. With a real life. Just like the actors are real people with real lives. You cannot just make up whatever you want about real people. If you want to have stupid opinions about fictional interpretation that's fine. But I literally need you to psychologically check yourselves that you thought this was a normal pattern of behavior. You are so insanely out of line and lost to your delusions that you think this is all the same relativity fandom fiction bubble and it is not. Get professional help

And now that you are staring down this fandom psychosis of yours with no escape I need you to understand how much misaligned information you have chosen to misread about literally everything else you have ever come at me about. Because if you can stare at pictures of the bullet holes in my wall and me being at someone else's house taking cover and tell me that I am faking, why do you think you have any more sane or deep of an understanding of the powers that be that none of you have half the connection to that you pretend

The thing is you guys never thought I was faking. You just wanted to convince yourselves I have been. And you are so lost in trying to find some sort of untruth that you have completely lost the plot on reality itself. Your reality is now defined by trying to convince yourself that I am lying about anything. Even when the pictures are in your face. And yet you expect me to take you seriously about men you have never met outside of paid transactions that would never speak with anyone that behave like you do much less assign you professionally like you tried before you got nailed to a wall. You guys just want to find some hope that I am faking something somewhere because otherwise your friends complaining about conventions might overlap with Misha's recent behavior and might even overlap with things like recent layoffs and marketing changes. A lot of things might be very connected. But you don't want to look at those things. You just want to look at anything you think you can argue against and that isn't how reality works.

My life and my near death experience is not your personal fucking fictional TV sandbox for you to have opinions about, you inconsolable sacks of fake shit.

But you know, that's it, isn't it? Again, all I've been doing is reblogging music videos that happen to sync to CW tweets that would be shortly after posted. You don't know what to grab onto. You don't know how to argue that. If you argue it, you reveal that you actually see it, by putting it together. So all you can do now is grab at someone's real life and attack it, because your own is lacking, and you're all fake, so everyone must be fake, even with the goddamn bulletholes on display. It's literally the only thing you've been able to grab at and yell "Fake" about as stupid and legit insane as it is, but you guys are so lost to crazypants land you didn't tap the brakes to realize how verifiably insane you're acting. But I'm sure your media opinions are magically more grounded.

He's a Cult Leader. Catch the fucking clue being broadcast on TV, assholes, and leave us alone. You have no one to be angry at and blame but yourselves. The owls control digital gotham. A flock of owls, or rooks such as crows, is called a parliament. They're in deep. There's no going back. It's a clown cabal pulling strings. fucking cope. It was about making our own destiny. Can't stop, won't stop, zaddy dent says don't stop; let go of the past, live in the present, create the future; some people claim to be spiritual healers, only a few actually are. But if you don't listen to the messaging when it's on my blog, why would I expect you to listen to it coming through the socials coincidentally?

Coming at you live, real real wild, here to light it up set the world on fire. Spit heat I melt your face off, in the cut just like a razor, disappear, I'm your eraser. Well, kids... what you gonna do now? It's your own reflections looking back to drag you down. Got all your eyes on me, got all the lines on ring, knock 'em dead, all the eyes on me. Figure it out.

March 7, 2023. We had a spell to burn.

I told you all. No amount of stalking poor fan accounts or random fanfic bangs you think my server members are involved with will push us out, if you follow any official accounts at all. Do with that as you will, but start touching base that you lost before you realized there was a war.

Man I wonder how the socials like Misha much less the CW just got 4x as active despite mass layoffs. Maybe the tweets are magically writing themselves!!! It couldn't possibly be CW scripted shows getting new coverage and socials management I WONDER WHOMST HUH GEE BRAIN ITS A GODDAMN MYSTERY if you're a fandom knucklehead refusing to read obvious truths because holy fuck that would mean you truly madly deeply collectively fucked yourselves

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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 2 years

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You Just Need to be Supported

Prompts: idk if you're still taking requests (or if this is even the right place to do it haha) but I just recently re-read You Don't Need To Be Cured and it stirred up A Lot of Feels (tm). I was wondering if I could request a sequel, or even just another work in that world of Logan with epilepsy. - anon

Hello :) Too shy so staying anon lol. Been following you for a while and I adore your writing! But if you're taking prompts I would love some hurt comfort logince? Pls? Doesn't really matter who is comforting who even if I have a bit of a Roman bias

Thanks :) - anon

Read on Ao3 Part 1

Warnings: discussion of epilepsy and seizures

Pairings: logince mainly

Word Count: 2816

Logan takes a deep breath and looks at the table once more. The solution looks so innocuous, barely darker then the water he has next to it. The flask is cool to the touch in his hand.

In the aftermath of a seizure, Roman and Logan talk.

Eventually, Logan’s arm begins to fall asleep and he sighs.

“I suppose I’d better get this over with.”

Roman frowns. “What, sorry?”

“Seeing everyone,” Logan grumbles, trying to push himself up, “talking to them.”

Roman doesn’t comment, not until Logan reaches out to steady himself as he heaves his head off the ground. “Is there a reason you said it like it was making Remus clean up all the snot he left on the couch?”

The memory of Remus’s truly impressive pout tugs at the corner of his mouth. “You may have one perspective on helping me, I do not anticipate everyone sharing yours. Nor your level of…understanding.”

“I feel like you’re not naming names for a reason.”

“You would be correct.”

Roman raises his hands. “Alright, fine, I get that. Do you want help standing right now or do you need another second to adjust to sitting up?”

Logan closes his eyes for a second, fighting the wave of dizziness. “One moment, if you please.”

Roman waits patiently, only adjusting his own costume where it pulled tight over his shoulders. Strange. Logan had assumed that the costume was designed to allow for a maximum range of movement, but the way it’s pulling at the seams under his arms and around his ribs implies that—

He closes his eyes again. Focus.

“Logan?”

“I’m here.” He opens his eyes to see Roman a respectful distance away. “Yes?”

“I was wondering if you wanted me to stay or if you wanted me to wait outside.” Roman nods toward the door. “I think you’re—well, I hope you’re comfortable with me remaining until I”m certain you’ll be fine to make it downstairs, but if me hovering will make it worse…”

Logan frowns.

“What?”

“Why are you…doing that?”

“Doing…what?”

“Being so transparent.” He narrows his eyes. “You’ve never spoken to me like that before.”

“Well, then I’ve been a shitty friend and it’s high time I start.”

“Yes. That.”

Roman sighs. “Logan, I’m—look, not being transparent with you is what got us—me—you know what I mean—into this mess in the first place.”

“…and you’re suddenly receptive to doing things differently now?”

Roman winces. “…yes?”

Logan glares at him until Roman pinches the bridge of his nose.

“I am not trying to pity you. I am worried because a dear friend of mine and someone who I consider my family just had a seizure that lasted almost half an hour. Said person has now expressed that my previous gestures of concern have been received badly and I am trying my best to change them. One of those attempts includes being franker about my intentions so that they can tell me what it is that would be more helpful and make them feel more supported.”

Oh.

He reaches out a hand. “Can you help me stand, please?”

Roman grasps his hand and pulls him up, remaining still and solid as Logan gets his bearings. He looks down and adjusts his costume, falling into what Logan has termed an ‘idle stance.’ Roman is…waiting for further instructions.

“…may I have my tie back, please?”

Roman passes it over and goes back to fiddling with his costume. Logan begins to try and fix his tie back around his neck, but he can’t stop himself from glancing back up at Roman who is doing an impressive job of paying just enough attention but not smothering him.

How he’s learned to do that is beyond Logan at the moment.

His hands start to shake.

He watches Roman’s hand twitch and quickly adjusts course to smooth his sash over his chest, checking for invisible wrinkles. He even turns, checking it all the way from his shoulder to his waist.

When Logan’s finished tying his tie, he adjusts his glasses and clears his throat. “I suppose we should go to the living room now.”

“If you want.”

“Roman…”

“I just don’t know where the others are going to be. I can—I mean, yeah. That’s it.”

“Being overly accommodating and appeasing is not helping.”

“Okay. Yeah. Let’s go to the living room.”

Logan follows Roman down the stairs, pausing when there isn’t anyone else around. Roman goes to the kitchen and fills a glass, taking a sip. He leans against the counter and pulls out his phone. Logan follows, filling his own glass and taking a long drink. He slumps next to Roman, head falling unconsciously onto his shoulder.

Roman stiffens slightly, but only for a moment. “You good?”

“Mm.” He furrows his brow. “Did you change your shampoo?”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I did.”

“This one is better.”

Roman snorts. “Thanks. Why, the smell?”

“Yes. The citrus suits you much better than the musk.”

A proper chuckle this time. “Remind me to consult you whenever I have to go to something in the Imagination that requires a fancy aftershave.”

They stand there for a few moments, accompanied by the low hum of the refrigerator and the occasional click of Roman’s phone. This is…nice.

“Roman?”

“Yeah?”

“Why don’t we…spend time together anymore?”

Roman’s shoulder moves slightly as he sets the phone down. “What do you mean?”

“We used to spend time together brainstorming,” Logan continues, his eyes slipping shut, “or going for walks in the Imagination, why don’t we do that anymore?”

There’s a pause. Then Roman shifts. “Part of it was because you started having seizures on the walks and they’re more dangerous in the Imagination.”

“How did you come to that conclusion?”

“I panic and I have less control over what gets made and it’s more likely that you get hurt.”

“Oh.” He adjusts his head. “What about outside the Imagination?”

A longer pause. Then he feels Roman’s head move and another sigh warms the top of his head. “Logan, up until a few minutes ago, I was convinced you hated me.”

Logan stiffens. “You what?”

“Or were at least indifferent to verging on annoyed toward me.”

He lifts his head up. Roman’s not looking at him. “Why?”

Roman’s expression twitches. “We fight all the time, Logan. Over stuff that doesn’t even matter, over stuff that does matter. You…well, you don’t get as outwardly emotional as I do in fights and when I am emotional you refuse to acknowledge me.”

That…is true.

“And you’re busy a lot of the time—which is fine, I mean, I am too—and when you’re not busy…” He hesitates. “Logan, you make spending time with me seem like a chore.”

His eyes widen. “I make you feel like you’re a chore?”

Roman looks at him. “Why, is that how I make you feel?”

“When it comes to my epilepsy, yes.”

He winces. “I did apologize for that, right?”

“You did.” Roman nods and looks away. “I…should also apologize. It was not my intention to make you feel as though spending time with you was a chore.”

“I figured as much.”

“And…you are not the only one who…treats me this way.”

“I know.”

Logan leans against the counter, hands behind his back. Roman stands with him, silent but unmoving. He can still smell the shampoo.

“I would like to start spending time together again,” he says carefully after a moment, “perhaps not in the Imagination, but…together.”

Roman turns his head, a small smile on his face. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

Logan nods. “Right, then.”

“Okay.”

He fiddles with his watch. “I…am a fan of this level of transparency.”

Roman chuckles. “I think Janus might not be.”

“Janus only cares if Thomas is lying, not us.”

“Aren’t we part of Thomas?”

Logan turns to level a death glare at Roman who, of course, bursts out laughing. He rolls his eyes. “You’re insufferable.”

“Aw, come on, Logan,” Roman says, gently nudging him, “if I wasn’t, you’d get bored.”

“…perhaps I would.”

“Hey, I heard noise, what the fuck is for—“

Virgil stumbles to a halt against the wall by the kitchen.

“Uh, hey.” He scratches the back of his head. “I, uh, didn’t realize you were up, L.”

He straightens a bit. “Yes, Virgil, I’m up.”

“Good. Good. You, uh…you okay?”

“Yes, Virgil. I’m fine.”

“Cool. Yeah, that’s…that’s real cool.” He fidgets with the end of his sleeves. “I, uh, I was coming to ask Princey what we’re doing for movie night but if you guys are busy—“

“No, it’s fine.”

“Oh.” Virgil glances at Roman. “Do we…have movie night plans?”

“Not that I’m aware of.”

“Oh.”

An awkward silence falls across the kitchen. Virgil shuffles. “What, um, what were you guys talking about?”

“Nothing.”

And, of course, Janus strides out of the shadows. “You called?”

“Jesus fuck,” Virgil hisses, “don’t do that, J.”

“Language!”

“F—“ Virgil’s hand slams over his mouth and he stomps on Janus’s foot.

“Ow!”

He gestures at his mouth until Janus rolls his eyes and waves a hand.

“Don’t do that either.”

“You’re the one with the foul mouth, kiddo.” Patton glances around the kitchen and his eyes land on Logan. “O-oh! Logan, you’re up!”

And so it begins.

“Yes, Patton, I am fine.”

“Oh, good, that’s really good, kiddo,” Patton beams. “It’s a relief to see you up and walking around.”

Logan hears Roman mutter something like ‘was I ever that bad? Jeez,’ and adjusts his glasses. “I suppose now is as good a time as any for this.”

“Oh, there’s no rush for anything, kiddo, take your time—“

“Patton,” Logan says over him, “if you could all gather in the living room, please?”

Roman is moving without protest, going to his normal place and sitting down. Virgil and Janus side-eye each other before shrugging and sitting down too. Patton lingers the longest, but when Logan steps past him he sits on the couch. Logan takes a deep breath and sits in his normal space.

“It’s come to my attention that there has been a lack of communication between us,” he starts, “and I would like to remedy it so that we do not have a repeat of today’s events.”

“Logan, we—“

“If I could finish.”

Virgil nods and sits on his hands.

“Thank you.” He takes a deep breath. “Roman has…mentioned that he was not aware of the fact that I have been interpreting your attempts to accommodate and support me as pity.”

Patton opens his mouth but Janus shakes his head.

“I understand that your intentions are good, but you have not—“ Logan pauses— “my apologies. Instead of making me feel supported, they have made me feel pitied. And as though it is a chore to deal with.”

“You’re not a chore,” Virgil mutters under his breath.

“I know, but that is how it makes me feel. Additionally—“ he glances at Roman who nods encouragingly— “there have been moments where you view me as just my disability and not as a person. You do not seem to trust that I know my limits and am capable of setting my own boundaries.”

“That isn’t my intention,” Patton says quietly, “but that doesn’t change the fact that you got hurt by it. I’m sorry, kiddo.”

“Me too.”

Everyone looks at Janus who shifts on the couch. “This is a…surprising amount of honesty from you, Logan.”

Roman mouths ‘told you’ over his shoulder.

“Not that it’s a bad thing,” Janus says quickly, “just…wasn’t expecting it.”

“Seeing as how a lack of communication is the reason this issue has become so out of control, I fail to see the logic in how continuing to not communicate will resolve it.”

“I suppose that’s fair.” He bows his head. “I apologize.”

Logan nods.

“What would you like us to do,” Roman asks, “or change?”

“Don’t have conversations about me or my epilepsy without me. If you have a question, ask me directly.”

Virgil nods. “Anything else?”

“When we compile trigger lists for media to consume, continue including epilepsy warnings, but that should not discount something entirely. Make note of when it appears and let me know.”

“Can do.”

Patton raises his hand. “What about when you do have a seizure?”

“Putting me in the recovery position works, ensuring I don’t succumb to any serious injury is good, but you do not all need to be there every time.” He nods to Roman. “What Roman did after this particular episode was most helpful.”

“Princey? What’d you do?”

“I waited until he spoke to me and asked for help before I did anything. Then we talked about GABA.”

“GABA? What’s that?”

“Primary inhibitory neurotransmitter.” He jerks his head toward Logan. “When you don’t have enough of it, it can cause epilepsy.”

Logan’s chest swells. He was paying attention.

“Huh. That’s cool.” Virgil looks back at Logan. “Anything else for afterward?”

“I don’t require all of the…soft voices and looks of concern. Simply asking if I’m alright and providing assistance when needed is sufficient.”

Patton nods. “Thank you for telling us, Logan. Is there…anything else we should know?”

“That’s all that’s coming to mind at the moment.”

“Okay.”

Roman claps his hands. “Great! Now, Virgil said something about movie night?”

“Right. We, uh, is it supposed to be today? My calendar got all messed up when I updated my phone.”

“Oh, the iOS upgrade?”

“Yeah. I shouldn’t have done it yet, a bunch of people were saying it totally bricked their phones.”

Logan frowns. “’Bricked?’”

“Made them useless. Shut them down, they don’t work anymore.”

“Ah.”

“I think we had a movie night scheduled,” Janus muses, scrolling through his phone, “but that’s not until later. After dinner.”

“What’re we doing for dinner?”

“Patton and I were going to make pizza.”

Roman snickers. “Again? After what happened last time?”

Janus chucks a pillow at his head. “For your information, dear, that wasn’t my fault at all.”

“I don’t know, Bananaconda, I’m pretty sure that—“

“Hey!”

“Kiddos,” Patton scolds, “enough. If the pizza doesn’t work, we have enough for sandwiches and the fries should be just fine.”

Roman takes the pillow off his face and grins. “Works for me. What are we watching?”

Logan clears his throat. “What about Venom?”

A pause. A long pause. Logan braces himself for someone to say it when—

“Ooh, wait, can we do a double movie night with Carnage afterward?” Roman bounces up and down. “Pretty please?”

Patton shrugs. “I don’t see why not. I don’t think Thomas has plans tomorrow.”

“I don’t know if I’ve still got the squick list from last time,” Virgil says, pulling out his phone, “but I gotta put together the Carnage one anyway, so it’s fine.”

The pressure in Logan’s chest releases as they continue planning the movie night. They listened to him. They actually listened.

Only when Roman’s expression softens infinitesimally does he realize he’s smiling.

“Okay, deal,” Virgil says, stowing his phone in his pocket, “so we’re doing both after dinner. You wanna get started at what, like, 6?”

“Can we eat while we watch the first one?”

“Sure, works for me.”

“In that case—“ Patton gets up and rubs his hands together— “Janus, we should get started soon.”

Janus gets up and heads to the kitchen with Patton as Virgil tips them a lazy salute and sinks out. Roman looks up at him and grins.

“I think that went well, don’t you?”

“Mm.” Logan shifts. “I…there are still several hours before we are scheduled to begin.”

“Yeah?”

“Would you…be opposed to a brainstorm?”

Roman’s grin widens. “I thought you’d never ask.”

He bounces to his feet and follows Logan up the stairs, pausing when they get to the top.

“Can I meet you? I need to grab my notebook.”

Logan nods. “Roman?”

He pauses, turning. “What is it?”

Transparency. Transparency. Transparency. “I…if you were the one doing the comforting, I do not believe I would…mind as much.”

Roman frowns, coming closer. “What do you mean?”

Logan twists his hands together, looking away. “What you did today was…good.”

“You said as much,” Roman says, but his voice has already dropped into the low comforting register and they both realize it at the same time. Roman’s eyes widen and he steps back. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to.”

Logan catches his arm as he goes to pull away. “No, that’s—that’s what I mean.”

He takes a deep breath.

“If…if it’s you…I’ll know what you mean.”

He feels more than sees Roman’s gaze roaming his face before understanding clicks. “If I—the way I normally comfort people, if I do that after a bad episode, is that…?”

Logan nods.

“Okay. Thank you for telling me.”

“Only bad ones.”

“Only bad ones.” Roman squeezes his hand. “Should I still go get my notebook?”

“Yes. Shall we meet in my room?”

“Whatever you say, Specs.”

General Taglist: @frxgprince @potereregina @reddstardust @gattonero17 @iamhereforthegayshit @thefingergunsgirl @awkwardandanxiousfander @creative-lampd-liberties @djpurple3 @winterswrandomness @sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes @iminyourfandom @bullet-tothefeels @full-of-roman-angst-trash @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind @demoniccheese83 @pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious @firefinch-ember @fandomssaremysoul @im-an-anxious-wreck @crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch @enby-ralsei @unicornssunflowersandstuff @wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams @averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws @cecil-but-gayer @i-am-overly-complicated @annytheseal @alias290 @tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance @whyiask @crows-ace @emilythezeldafan @frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires @cyanide-violence @oonagh2 @xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx @rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734 @triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo @cerulean-watermelon @puffed-up-bees @meltheromanstan @joyrose-fandomer @insanitori @mavenmush @justablah65

If you want to be added/taken off the taglist, let me know!

#dragonbabbles #fic #sanders sides #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #remus sanders #sympathetic remus #janus sanders #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #virgil sanders

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menalez · 2 years

Note

hi. you dont have to reply to this ask if you dont want to or if you do you can make it public Idm. also I dont mean to trauma dump so pls just delete this because tbh its too much. tl;dr at start Im starting to doubt my sexuality despite being in late 20s. also, tw sex, rape, csa, cocsa, etc. so, I've always known I kinda like girls and that Im more likely bi than straight. I was in love with one during highschool and I felt intense sexual attraction towards a close friend in uni. I was p far left back then so I thought this must be that demisexual thing where you only feel attraction once you get to know people LMAO. then I had some crushes on guys here and there, was virgin till 24 and then slept around way too much with guys. never had experience with a woman. now Im in proper relationship with a really nice guy. recently I started watching a show and identifies way too much with a lesbian character. like from how she acts to what she says regarding women she feels attracted to. I havent been able to sleep for past two nights and Im starting to wonder if I even feel attracted to him.

until we recently moved in together we had sex. a lot. but I had a meltdown because of past sexual trauma, all the sleeping around because of other reasons than wanting to have sex, (loneliness, low self esteem) csa and cocsa at hands of female relatives, so that also confuses me. we havent had regular sex, maybe once in a month. and last time I was hoping it to end soon and just waited it out. I dont blame my bf, hes never done anything wrong, and I was the one who told him to keep going. ofc I had told him Im bi but now Im so unsure if about what even attraction means. I honestly never felt that intense attraction towards a guy, ever. Ive felt that with several women, like random passerbyers and such. some women I couldnt take eyes off of and had to just move along because I felt like a creep (which also factors in me not wanting to look at women In That Way because thats how men look at women and its just hella confusing as a fellow woman who doesnt want to objectified by men either) Idk how much Im convincing myself I love men and society has brainwashed me. Idk what Im wishing to get out of this, Im just stressed I dont love my bf in That Way and this is just platonic love, that Ive convinced myself into doing even stuff like kissing and hugging because Thats What Im Supposed To Do.

anyway, thank you if you read it so far, thank you for your time. I would really like some advice if you have any but you also dont have to if you dont want to. btw I love your blog and if you cant tell I follow you on here. keep up the good work. <3 I hope you have a nice day!

aww that really sounds stressful and like a difficult situation anon :( honestly i think many lesbian & bi women go through some moments of doubt and confusion at least at one point in our lives so you’re not alone there. tbh i would encourage talking your feelings out with someone who knows you well and someone you trust, they can help give you perspective. sometimes we identify with something a lot that it can confuse us in many ways. and if possible, maybe experiment with women? it’s kinda hard to understand your attraction when it’s kinda just .. abstract?

to me it sounds like you may indeed be bi & maybe cycling (bi cycle) or perhaps you have a strong preference and are just realising it. however, i can’t determine your sexuality for u as i do not know you. this is why id recommend experimenting but of course you should be transparent with everyone involved (your boyfriend- idk whether you’d ask him if it’s possible to be open or something else, and whichever woman you experiment with). i overthink and doubt myself a lot and actually being with a woman definitely helped me. pushing myself to be with men to “test” whether im into them was personally highly traumatic for me so if someone thinks they’re a lesbian but has never been with a man & isn’t sure if they’re into it… id highly recommend NOT trying. getting clarity faster will never be better than not pushing your own boundaries and risking traumatising yourself. to me it sounds like you really need to be single right now and just explore yourself and try being with a woman and see how you feel from there. there’s also no shame in being unsure and not labelling your sexuality either.

also facing previous trauma like CSA especially can really make it hard to understand your sexuality, from my experience most bi & lesbian women who go through such intense confusion and identity disturbances like what u described have faced CSA too.. so you really aren’t alone there ❤️❤️ i wish you luck anon. you’ll figure it out you just need to give urself space and time

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skinnyducky · 2 years

Text

when in coachella... // v.h.

a/n im indifferent towards this; love it but hate it. im telling you, this is easily my worst work lol. i think the effect of finals (plus having to write two essays & do a lesson) is draining me. so, pls forgive the poor writing in this. it’s honestly not my best, but i hope you all enjoy :)

vinnie hacker x fem!reader

Word Count: 1.1k, slightly edited

WARNING: language, mentions of drugs, and that’s all. also, this is somewhat trash, so i apologize.

---------

Y/n wandered aimlessly throughout the desert festival, basking in the warm vibes and positivity lurking in the atmosphere. The afternoon sun reflected against the rhinestones and gems scattered around her eyes, painting her face in an array of colors as bright as her spirit. Her arms swung in the air with the elongated bell sleeves of her white crop top—which revealed major underboob—flowing behind her. Not to mention, the matching transparent bell bottoms, which exposed the colorful bikini bottoms she wore underneath.

Standing on either side of her were her best friends, Nailea and Larri. The three of them were spending a weekend at Coachella, and while the other two were there for primarily fun, Y/n had a business obligation. Though, she wasn’t complaining. Spending three days at one of the biggest music festivals and getting to wear as little clothing as possible wasn’t something she’d complain about. Not to mention, Harry Styles was performing, and she couldn’t miss that.

"So, I’m thinking we chill in the VIP section for a bit," suggested Larri. "Then we head to the main stage to watch Lil Baby, sit through Daniel Caesar, and then Harry Styles."

"That sounds good, but I might get hungry in between." Nailea replied, earning a sour look from the boy.

Chuckling, Y/n rolled her eyes and swung both her arms over their necks. "I’m sure there will be a food or snack stand nearby."

"Speaking of snacks," Larri smirked, "where’s Vinnie? He’s here, ain’t he?"

Y/n couldn’t help but smile at the mention of her boyfriend. She knew without a doubt he’d be coming to Coachella, and while she anticipated seeing him sooner, there was still no sign of him. She called and texted, only to get no answer in return. Either he was glued and forced into a conversation without someone, or his phone died. Knowing him, it was the former.

"Yeah, he’s here."

"Then why are you hanging out with us instead of your boyfriend."

"You guys, I could never abandon y’all." Y/n sent a grin to both of her besties. "Hoes before bros, remember?"

Nai scoffed, "He hasn’t said anything has he?"

"Nada." Y/n sighed, stopping in her tracks. "I’ve been trying to get a hold of him ever since we got here, and he hasn’t replied to anything. Not my calls, my texts. Hell, I even sent him an email and he still hasn’t responded."

"You think he’s cheating," questioned Larri.

"I highly doubt that. He’d be stupid to cheat in a public place, especially one that’s a hotspot for influencers." Y/n chuckled. "I mean, I’m not too worried. We’re going to see each other eventually. But, in the meantime, I have no problem hanging with you guys." Just as they were about to continue walking, she heard a familiar voice coming from behind her. As she turned, she was engulfed in a hug and swept off her feet. The second she looked down, she was met with the gaze of her loving boyfriend.

"Vinnie!" She cheered as he planted her firmly back on the ground. "Where the hell were you? I’ve been texting and calling for over an hour."

"I got held up talking to some dick in VIP." He revealed, confirming the girl’s theory. "The guy went on and on about how much he benched and how he wanted to train me. Couldn’t get him to shut up even after I kept telling him bye."

Y/n smirked, "Well, at least you managed to get away."

"Was my pretty girl worried about me?"

"Was it that obvious?"

The two nuzzled their noses together before sharing a quick kiss, much to the disgust of their friends (and Vinnie’s brother, Reggie).

"Get a room, you two!" The younger Hacker gagged, earning a laugh from Y/n.

She waved in his direction and said, "Nice to see you too, Reg. We still on for a bowling rematch when we visit Seattle again?"

"Like, I’d let you get away with cheating."

Before Y/n could argue, Larray piped in. "As much as I would love to hear about this rivalry, Lil Baby’s performing in a few minutes and I’m not about to miss this. So, y’all coming or not?"

Y/n turned to Vinnie. "How about it, babe? You coming?"

"Like I’d miss it." He locked his hands with his girlfriend's and together they went to the main stage, their friends trailing behind them. Since it was the "main" stage, it was pretty packed, which meant there was some distance between the group and the stage. But no one minded, they were too busy getting themselves hyped for Lil Baby’s performance. And when he came on, it felt like it went by in a flash. Then Daniel Caesar performed, and then it was time for Harry Styles. At this point, Y/n was absolutely tired, but that wasn’t going to stop her from enjoying some Harry. As the stage was being set for him, a number of people had flown to the main stage, hoping to get a glimpse of the newfound pop prince. Unfortunately, this meant a lot of people were dying to get to the front, and the group found themselves behind some pretty tall folks. Well, Y/n did, to be precise.

"Oh my god," she said to herself, trying to get a view of the stage. In the middle of her search, the crowd went wild, though she didn’t know what for. She couldn’t see anything. But she knew the minute "As It Was" began playing, Harry had begun his performance. She tried to get a good view, but there was no use. With a pout on her face and her shoulders sunken, she glared at the giant screen ahead of them.

"OH MY GOD!" Vinnie screamed, jumping and dancing along to the music. As he was having the time of his life, he noticed his beau beside him hating hers. "Woah, what’s wrong?" He asked, placing his hand on the small of her back.

"I literally can’t see anything thanks to the jolly green giants in front of me."

Vinnie laughed before kneeling. "Here, get on my shoulders."

"What?" Y/n looked at him as if he was insane.

"C’mon, get on my shoulders so you can see, pretty girl."

Blushing, Y/n did as he asked and climbed onto his shoulders. Vinnie stood straight up, gripping her thighs tightly, allowing his girlfriend to enjoy the live view as well. "Is that better?" He asked.

"Much better."

With smiles on their faces, the couple and their clan all sang along with Harry, screaming and cheering for the star. If there was anything Y/n learned from her first day at Coachella, it’s that Vinnie’s shoulders not only make a comfortable seat, but he’s also the best boyfriend she’s ever had. Though, she already knew that last part.

--------

tag list: @barbietiingz @tvdsure

#vinnie #vinnie imagine #vinnie x reader #vinnie imagines #vinnie hacker #vinnie hacker imagine #vinnie hacker x reader #vinnie hacker fanfic #vinnie hacker x you #vinnie hacker x y/n #vhackerr #vincent hacker #tiktok imagine

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themoonandvenuslovechild · 2 years

Text

Come Back to Us

Summary: You had stayed with Makkari and Druig after the team split up, having been in a relationship with them. For years, the three of you lived in the Amazon together, but when their love slowly started to fade away, you left. What happens when 60 years later they find you with someone new?

Inspired by @lovegoods-things

Pairing: Drukkari x Reader

TW// angsty, language, my shitty writing skills

A/N: use of she/her pronouns is in here and reader is also called “pretty girl” so do with that what you will... also pls don’t slander my shitty writing i’m honestly just bored and this helps me not maladaptive daydream as bad....

It had been decades since you’d seen your ex-lovers. Six decades to be exact.

The love you had held for them was large. Beautiful, beautiful people, they were. Druig, the handsome man with bright blue eyes and dark, messy hair. Makkari, your beautiful speedster. They were yours.

Key word being were. They aren’t yours anymore. You had left them when your relationship began to crumble, at least on your end. It was hard to forget the memories of them spending time without you, excluding you from date nights. It was especially hard to forget the way that there wasn’t much love in their eyes near the end.

When the time had come that you’d excepted they weren’t yours any longer, that they only belonged to each other, you had left. It hurt, leaving behind everything you had known. You couldn’t stand around and watch Druig and Makkari fall out of love with you.

It was in the 1960s you had left. The small Amazonian camp was hard to find your way away from, but you had managed just fine. Over the decades, you had found your way to the wonderful New York, New York. There, you took place as an author, writing fiction that took place during real events, which wasn’t quite fiction. It was recounts of your life, of every century you had spent here on Earth. You recounted all of the battles you had with your family. You told the story of how you fell in love with the mind controller and the speedster, and you told the story of your heartbreak once you had realized they were pulling away.

It was your way of working through things, and of documenting them in case you ever began to forget. You told the stories of your family, the good and the bad. You wrote about Sprite and the shows she would put on, Ikarus and the love he and Sersi had, Ajak and her motherly attitude, Phastos and his amazing creations, Gilgamesh and the strength he had, Makkari and how kind-hearted she was, Druig and how he desperately wanted to help humanity, Thena and how she was the strongest warrior you knew, Kingo and his jokes, you even wrote about yourself. It had taken years to write them all, but you found some good through reliving the painful memories.

It’s how you found Charles. He was a historian who had read one of your books, fascinated by the stories you told. It hadn’t taken long for the two of you to form a bond, and soon after he had asked if you would go on a date with him. It hadn’t taken you a second to respond, a happy “yes” ringing through the air.

And now, now you were in a happy relationship with him. You had shown him your powers, wanting to be transparent with him, and he had fully accepted you, immortal and all.

It was now that the two of you sat at a coffee-shop table near the window chatting, having small lunch date before he had to return for work.

“You look beautiful today,” he tells you as he sips on his coffee.

You could feel heat rising to your face at his compliment, ducking your head down to try to hide your blush from him. “Thanks,” you say softly. “You look nice, too.”

“Come on now, (Y/N), don’t hide from me, pretty girl.”

The comment makes you thump your head on the table, soft giggles that are produced by you begin to float through the air, drawing attention of a few around you.

It’s only when a shadow looms over you that you lift your head, the smile immediately falling from your face. In front of your table stand Druig and Makkari, looking just as youthful as before.

“We’ve been looking for you,” Druig says.

Charles sees the sadness in your eyes, deciding that the both of you should leave. “Let’s go rent that movie while we’re out, how about it, (Y/N)?”

He begins to stand but is stopped as his eyes turn a shade of shimmering gold, matching Druig’s.

“Sit down.” The command ripples through him as he takes his seat and Druig turns towards you.

It isn’t him that speaks next though, it’s Makkari. “We miss you. Come back to us.”

You shake your head, fighting to make sure no tears slip from your eyes down your cheeks. “No.”

“No?” There’s slight hurt in Druig’s voice at his question, like he actually cared about you.

“No. I’m never, ever going back to that stupid commune in the Amazon. Ever. And I’m never coming back to you.”

Pure hurt flashes across Makkari’s face as she flinches back a little, like she’d been hit. “Why? Why did you leave us? You just up and left, and now we’ve finally found you and you won’t come home?”

“I just up and left?” You scoff. “No, I stayed for as long as I fucking could. I watched the both of you fall out of love with me, I watched you pull away, I watched for as long as I could and when I realized it was never going to get better I gave up and I left. I couldn’t stand the shit you were putting me through, and I won’t ever do that again.”

Druig and Makkari just stare at you in shock of all you’ve said.

“We didn’t pull away. You just up and left, darling,” Druig says softly.

“Really?” you say, verging on a yell. “Is that really how you remember it? Fuck it. Look inside my head, Druig. Look at the memories of what the two of you put me through.”

He’s hesitant as he stares at you. Your outburst had surprised both of them into silence, and now Druig looks at you with a conflicted look on his face.

“Are you sure?” he asks slowly.

“Yes.”

He just nods before his eyes glow their golden hue. For a minute your mind is blank, but then it all comes rushing forward and flashing before you.

There’s soft laughing from the other room as you sit on the bed alone. Druig’s laugh is soft and full of love as he spends time with Makkari.

You couldn’t help but be curious as you got up as quietly as possible and peeked into the other room.

“I love you more than anything or anyone. My beautiful, beautiful Makkari,” he signs to her.

“And same to you, Druig,” she signs back.

Druig and Makkari cuddle up together before Makkari signs, “you’re my one and only.”

You can’t stand to see what he says next as you pull away from the door, immediately deciding that watching them together was the last straw, you had to leave.

You come back to reality, seeing Druig’s eyes fade. His eyes glaze over with tears, but he quickly blinks them away before his eyes lock with yours.

“(Y/N), I’m so sorry, I didn’t know. We didn’t know.”

“It doesn’t matter whether you knew or not, it happened. I’m happy now. I’m happy here with Charles. The both of you need to leave.”

“Please, we’ll do anything.”

You shake your head. “No. Just go. Please.”

“But we love you.” Tears brim her beautiful eyes as she shakes her head as if trying to shake away a bad dream.

“If you love me, go. Just go. Please.”

“Please, just give us another chance,” Druig begs.

“I can’t. Please, please just go.”

It doesn’t take anymore begging for the two to turn and leave you. Your eyes trail after both of them, longing to follow them and tell them you change your mind, but you don’t.

“Who were they?” Charles asks you.

“Old friends of mine. Don’t worry about it.”

“Ah, I thought they were lovers. I was thinking of saying ‘get away from her she doesn’t want you here’,” he chuckles.

You give a fake chuckle along with him. It’s painful to watch the people you still love leave, even if you were the one who caused it.

#angst #druig #druig x reader #makkari x reader #druig x makkari #eternals #makkari

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shotosprincess · 3 years

Note

BAKUGO SCREAMING AND IZUKU

( ˘ ³˘)♥︎ AAAA HIII TYSM FOR REPLYING TO THE BNHA PLAYLIST THINGY FOR FICS I LOVE YOU MWAHMWAH

anyways aaa bet !! ill do midoriya first if you don’t mind bc im currently in such a soft mood and hajdjj i just love him sm :((

— 𝙠𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙨 𝙤𝙣 𝙤𝙣 𝙞𝙯𝙪𝙠𝙪 𝙢𝙞𝙙𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙮𝙖’𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙢𝙨

inspired by this playlist by nimbus on yt !! pls check them out ansjdjf their playlists r heaven ^^

❝ you never truly understood that about him, the way he continued to put himself through the pain, to push himself, even, past his limits and then some—

plus ultra. and now his arms were all but littered with rough scars of diluted white and blunt tan. ❞

notes ! gender neutral! reader,, best friends to lovers au ,, 2nd person pov

summary: in which your best friend deku shows up at your dorm late at night due to kacchan locking him out. he asks for bandages to stabilize his newly-healed scars, and you ask to kiss them.

genre: fluff !! <33

it went without a doubt that deku had been to recovery girls’ office more times than anyone else at the academy. it hurt, honestly; each time you saw his still-healing figure emerge from the little swing of her door, a sharp pang reverberated starkly through your chest, for though the freshly-scarred over wounds didn’t diminish his beauty in the slightest, you simply couldn’t deny that an empty eddy of sadness settled in you whenever he was in such a state.

and unfortunately for you, he was constantly in it.

his body could only take so much. and he was still so young too—the very same held true for your heart.

it’s been that way ever since the two of you had first entered ua as shining, eager students. though in all fairness you had to admit, he was...different from the very beginning. even as the prelude to his eventual rising and growth in his quirk, he had shone with a certain unmatched brilliance ever since the entrance exams. and over the years you spent together, you had watched him persevere so passionately towards the glow of his ultimate goal; to be a hero who can help others. little did he know just how much he already had. he had always been so excruciatingly oblivious and aloof to even the evidence and affects of his own kindness, and you hated the fact that so many tended to take advantage of it. of him.

though, of course, this did not mean that he was weak in any form. no, if anything he was quite the polar opposite—he had proved it time and time again, and yet it didn’t mean that he couldn’t get hurt too. the dull aching of tiredness ringing in his eyes, the one he tries to desperately to mask, the ragged marks scattered across the pale valleys of his once-scar-barren skin; he wasn’t immune to pain, to injury. and yet, he fought. you never truly understood that about him, the way he continued to put himself through the pain, to push himself, even, past his limits and then some—

plus ultra. and now his arms were all but littered with rough scars of diluted white and blunt tan.

nevertheless, truth be told, you actually admired it a great deal. his sheer determination, the purity of his motives, it was more than laudable. despite all of it, you truly couldn’t help but feel this...magnetic urge to help him. protect him. if you could soothe the pain in any way, even if it would be but a temporary relief—

three knocks clack on the door.

you and izuku’s secret door code—just a silly little something the two of you made up a few months after the dorm system had been put into motion, and all so you could sneak out to the grass-flooded yards of the building and train together.

naturally, you open the door.

“ heyyy there you are! “

your head perks up at the cheery jingling of his voice, all drafts of exhaustion and sleep deprivation washing away almost instantaneously. he might as well be the very personification of caffeine at that point, despite how direly he needed it himself.

the starry shine of his eyes meets with yours as a diluted sanguine seeped colour into his face. he turns his head away awkwardly.

you lean against the doorframe, smiling at him. “ deku...you didn’t tell me we’d be training today. plus it’s a little late right now, don’t you think? i’m already in my pajamas. “

“ yeah, um, sorry about that. kacchan...kinda locked me out. “

“ he what? “

“ he locked me out. “

“ how does that even—don’t you have separate rooms? “

“ well, yeah, but we were racing down the halls after glass today and he...got to my room before i could. well, honestly i have no clue what he’s doing over there. “ he laughs, rubbing the back of his neck.

“ oookay then. little concerning, i won’t lie. “ your shoulders lift in a shrug, arms crossing in front of your chest as your shy laugh matches his.

“ so i was wondering if...you know...i could maybe stay here for a bit? “ his voice wavers subtly, though you’re quick to catch it. the tips of his ears flush with a deepened pink.

you can’t help but silently gush about how cute he looked.

you’re quick to snap out of that too. eyes bursting open with a brilliant shock, you notice he’s fiddling nervously with his fingers as you remain absolutely, positively frozen in place.

“ i’m—what? “

his countenance immediately shifts to one of sheer embarrassment. flustered, he begins to frantically wave his hands in front of him, as if to put some sort of considerable distance between his panicking self and your seemingly-composed demeanour. and as if that would do anything to deescalate the tension which was only progressively building between your equally-timid selves at this moment.

“ ohmygod i didn’t mean it in a weird way or anything! i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’ll just—i’ll just go— “

you slide against the wood a little bit, pushing your weight against the slightly-agape door, so it swung open even further to reveal the, admittedly, fairly-messy state of your room. draped carelessly on the side of your bed, a sweater you had taken off earlier because the temperature of your room had suddenly decided to heat up an unreasonable amount. countable cups holding shallow pools of hour-old drinks scattered throughout nearly every shelf. a creased textbook splayed out, cover up on your desk.

yep. definitely looked like someone’s lived here.

“ i mean...you could come in if you want. no one’s stopping you. it’s a little messy though, i haven’t found much time to properly clean it yet, with exams coming soon and stuff. “ a small smile accompanies your growing blush, despite how much you were trying to play it off as nonchalantly as possible.

psh, right. as if letting him in your room—something you had never done prior in the history of your friendship—wasn’t a big deal in the slightest.

his eyes shoot wide as his arms flail about. you have to keep yourself from laughing at his silliness.

“ uhm, i mean...only if that’s okay with you! “

“ yeah, yeah, of course! you need a place to stay for now, after all. who knows when bakugou’s gonna let you back in? “

“ yeah, i guess you’re right. well, i mean, if you really don’t mind— “

you playfully roll your eyes, giggling as you shove him into your room.

“ oh, quit it with the politeness. you’re too nice, you know that? “

“ too...nice? “

“ too nice. “ you reiterate, giving his shoulders a little squeeze.

his head lolls to the side as he carefully lowers himself onto your bed, his sweater shifting with the subtle movement.

for a few moments, the space between you is occupied with a simple, comfortable silence. it’s refreshing, really. a welcome difference from all the boisterousness of the academy. you loved the action and everyone’s energy, of course, but sometimes what you really needed was really just a simple break from everything. to do nothing but exist for a little while, to simply be without the constant pressure of having to get up and jump into action all the time. just for a few moments. and so you relished in these said moments spent with him, for who knows when the next time you could ever be with him like this again would be?

and then his voice fills that void of silence, but you’re not disappointed in the slightest.

“ hey. “

“ yeah? “

“ you don’t happen to have any extra bandages, do you? “

“ bandages? for what? “

he clenches his fist, flexing the muscles in his arm. “ for...stability. just in case. i can’t afford for my arms to get hurt more. “

�� oh. well, uhm...i think i have a few spares in my drawer! “ you push yourself off the bed, leaving the comfort the soft sheets brought about, pulling open a tiny drawer. taking out a transparent box of bandages, you jump back onto the plushness, sitting cross-legged directly across from midoriya, who’s already presenting his arm.

your lips silently part as your fingers wrap themselves around the thick ivory fabrics of bandage, rolling them around so you could wrap them around him.

another pause of wordless silence falls.

“ hey deku? “

“ yeah? “

“ could i...could i kiss your scars? “ you whisper, afraid that he’d get mad, though you knew he was anything but the type to do such a thing.

the meadow depths of his eyes kindle a cozy hearth within you as his initial surprise quickly softens, melting away into what could only be described as the most endearing smile to exist.

“ sure. “

jagged patches and uneven streaks of faded cloud white and prominent earthy tans decorate his arms, and you can’t help but bring the rosiness of your lips to meet them. you decide begin with the ones littered along his fingers.

one kiss for the scar resting within the curved dip between his thumb and index.

“ for every time you used just a flick of your fingers to defend everyone back then, when you didn’t even have full control over your quirk. “

a longing sigh leaves him as he reminisces briefly on the memory. you place a soft kiss upon the scar resting at the side of his pinky.

“ for every fist you made with this hand, for every punch you’ve delivered in the name of other’s safety. “

a drop splashed onto his arm, trickling down and tainting the scars etched into his forearm with a subtle, diaphanous sheen. you look up through your lashes, and a prominent gloss coats the kindness of his dark emeralds. your hand comes up to carefully caress his cheek, cupping it gently as the pad of your thumb swipes beneath his eye, wiping away the upcoming tear. your features are knitted together in concern.

“ are you okay? i can stop if you want me to— “

he takes your hand in both of his, squeezing as if to keep you there forever. “ no, don’t. please.“

it’s a tiny whisper, a softened plea into the dark quiet of the night, as if he were ashamed for wanting to be taken care of. your brows curve downward as you pull your twined hands to your lips, tenderly planting your lips where your skin kissed his.

“ hey, hey. it’s okay. it’s okay. “ you hush him, running your free hand through his thick tendrils of vivid, verdant green.

he leans into your touch, nodding at you as if to urge you to continue, which you gladly accept.

you shift a little closer to him, kissing the thick mark of serration painted into the skin of his wrist.

“ for every countless moment you’ve sacrificed for your dream. “

another kiss to the one just above it.

“ for every hour bled into the night that you spent helping me train. “

your fingers dance along his arm, finally stopping at the scar stretching from his elbow and dragging upwards. as per routine, your lips come down to delicately kiss it.

“ for every ‘ plus ultra! ‘ you’ve ever passionately shouted. “

little giggles left the both of you at that.

your touch trails to the scar just beside it, kissing it as well.

“ for every life you’ve ever saved. “

you look him in the eye. holding his arm like this, you were so close to him. and yet, you didn’t want to pull away. if anything, it was the very last thing you would ever want to do. he matched your stare, a certain sense of longing displaying in your gaze as it reflects off of his. the prolonged stare lasts longer than it probably should, longer than what best friends should probably look at each other this closely, this intimately for. the moonlight dimly shines through your window.

and then it happens.

his lips collide with yours in a captivating symphony, hands going straight to twirl through the locks of your hair as you wrap yours in a loose loop around his neck. everything feels as though it had all snapped into place, and the tension you had felt before was all completely dissipated now, displaced into the passion in which this kiss exuded. it was earth-shattering, galaxy-shredding. it felt as if even pain itself could never reach either of you, not in this moment.

this moment was for the both of you, and no one else. in this moment, in his arms, nothing and no one could hurt you.

he pulls away, stunned, lips parted with a saturated red. you stare at him with just about the same level of blankness, of utter shock at what you two had just done.

but then the realization catches up with him, and he is pulled out of the daze. much to your surprise, he doesn’t move away. if anything, he pulls you closer, enveloping both your hands within his just as he did before.

and just as you had done earlier, he brings them to his lips.

“ and that’s for every ‘ i love you ‘ i’ve ever wanted to say to you but never had the guts to. “

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awsuntanz · 3 years

Text

a ramble about helium chapter 4 (and dakota’s wonderful characterization)

its 4am, forgive me for any mistakes. i’ve never written anything like this before, aha.

All of these quotes are from Chapter 4 of @heytherestilinski‘s fic Helium!

The way Dakota (the author) fleshes out conflict and allows their painfully realistic characterization to shine is so...perfect. I find myself heavily relating to Dream, George, and even Sapnap at times.

Here are some lines that I didn’t think would stick out to me (but did):

After a quiet moment, to his soaring heart’s approval, George speaks up again.

This entire kitchen scene portrays that feeling of having a conversation with someone who matters to you. Whether it would classify as something important to someone else or not is irrelevant- to you, in that moment, it feels like you’re holding the world. It’s soft, and tender. You don’t want it to fall flat. You don’t want to let it go. (This scene may or may not have encouraged me to say goodnight to a special someone I was thinking of while reading this).

Sapnap dumps the responsibility of the cart back onto Dream. As he walks past him, he says, “You suck at flirting.”

I really enjoyed the stupid banter between Dream and Sapnap at the grocery store. It not only served as some nice comic relief that kept our guard down before the conflict at the end of the chapter, but it’s also something us readers would definitely hear from (and say to) our friends in real life. Good comic relief is something that eases us in naturally and allows us to immerse ourselves and enjoy the moment while maintaining that element of surprise that keeps us interested :)

He turns away from Dream. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

Dream may be less controlled in his emotions and impulses, but he is very open in sharing them. George has more of a filter on everything. Controlled. Not wanting to push Dream (or maybe even himself) off the edge.

“You wanted to this morning,” he says, low.

“Yeah, because we were in your house, not the middle of the grocery store.”

Rejection. Denial. George’s response holds some truth to it, but comes off as a haphazard excuse at the same time. He doesn’t appreciate the way Dream pushes for that direct confrontation and frankness when it comes to approaching their situation (and honestly? Neither would I).

George halts to face him again, with a half-whisper, “Not exactly the best place to ambush me, Dream.”

I like the use of the word ambush here because of the strong negative connotation it implies. It’s as if he’s saying that Dream sought out to make him uncomfortable. As if this was pre-planned and intentional, and not another one one of his silly impulses.

Dream stares at him wildly. “I didn’t ambush you. You brought up your expectations, not me.” His voice grows tight. “Are you seriously still going to act like this?”

We’ve had enough of “Dream, why? Dream, no! Dream, quit being an idiot!” from the readers. This time, he takes that blame and tosses it over to George instead. Conflict grows stronger.

“Like I’m—I’m this stumbling idiot who forces you into every bad situation,” he says. “It’s exhausting, and doesn't make me feel good about myself, and—” He runs a trembling hand through his hair. “It’d be nice if you took some responsibility, for once. That’s all.”

God, I’m so guilty of how George does this to Dream. Taking responsibility isn’t very fun when you feel like the other person is constantly making irrational, immature, and as we’ve established earlier, overall impulsive decisions when it comes to what they say and do. We assume that the other person should be able to understand us- We’ve put up with them for all this time, haven’t we?

Realizing that having a mentality like this is toxic and draining to the other person as well is... difficult. It’s difficult to remember that they’re trying, and that they genuinely care about you too. The very same things that make them irritating are what make them a loving and caring person as well. It takes growth from the both of you to learn and understand each other. And growth takes time.

It’s 4AM at the time I’m writing this, and I’m far too tired to quote the entire phone scene, so I’m going to assume you’ve read it.

A few lines from George:

“Can...can you stay on, for a bit? Can we just talk?”

“Please, Dream.”

“I just want to hear your voice.”

A few lines from Dream:

“George.”

“Stop,” he warned. “Stop that.”

“Don’t say that.” // “What is wrong with you?”

“Fuck, George. Why are you doing this to me?”

The reason Dream brings this up is because it highlights a moment where their general character roles in the fic are switched. In this scenario, it highlights a moment of hypocrisy. George is desperate, and vulnerable. The phone call dialogue showcases him doing something that he knows he shouldn’t be doing. “Can we not talk about this? Can we pretend this phone call didn’t happen?”

Now, plenty of ugly nights and long weeks later, he steps closer to George in the grocery aisle as an unconcerned passerby skirts around their cart and conflict.

I’m not sure why I like this line. It feels like a gentle reminder that in the grand scheme of things, your conflict is small. Insignificant to the rest of the world, mattering to you two and only you two. Makes everything a bit more personal, I guess.

He looms over him, wishing he could melt the bristling anger from his brown eyes, and wishing he had it in himself to be angry, too.

I relate to both sides of this. That gut-wrenching feeling of not being able to find your own anger at someone who is angry at you. The feeling of knowing that your anger is frustrating and hurting someone else, too. Either way, it feels absolutely terrible.

“You called me,” Dream recounts, even though he can tell George remembers it as vividly as he. “You talked to me.” He lets out a short, frustrated breath. “Then you got mad at me the next morning, and iced me out.”

Doing the same thing that you hated the other person for doing, and taking it out on them afterwards. Yeah.

(dakota. dream. can you pls stop calling me out through george i would really really really appreciate it thank u) /hj /lh

“Because you let it happen,” George says, but he looks more vulnerable than before.

blame game here we go againnnnn

Dream stares down at him. “So it’s all on my shoulders,” he reiterates flatly. “It’s all my responsibility, now?”

“Yes,” George spits, his sharpness startling them both. He meets Dream's gaze, unwavering, and recollects himself with a deep breath.

“Yes. Because you made it your responsibility, when you sent me that text.”

George was ready to throw that blame right back into Dream’s face. When I saw that whole scene in Heat Waves, I realized how much I related to George in that particular situation. I knew it would come back, somehow. George wouldn’t be able to let something as huge as that, something that shifted the entire course of their relationship...slide so easily. Even with Dream’s eventual promise to work on himself. The whole time, I was thinking, “He’s too nice. He’s too patient,” and, “I wouldn’t be that nice. I wouldn’t be that patient. Not on the inside, at least.”

And you didn’t fail me. That final jab, although relatable- It hurt.

Now that the screens are off, the distance is gone, and the barriers are thinner than ever before, George’s flaws are becoming more transparent. We start to see other parts of his character that had only been foreshadowed in your previous work. I had no idea how Helium would unfold at the beginning, but I’m now very sure that you did not disappoint.

Seeing how you’ve evolved as a writer in both more subtle and more noticeable ways has been awesome :) I’m excited for the next chapter.

#heat waves #dreamland #helium #im very sorry if this is bad #im no fearwastaken #dnf #dreamnotfound #long post #be warned #i cant believe i did this.#kinda nervous to post #edit: ok wow this did really well #thanks to everyone <3 and dakota omg #helium analysis

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it-taurus-apart · 3 years

Text

(SKZ) Venus Signs - Chan, Minho

Fam🖤 Venus in Scorpio: Chan, Minho

Oh okay, alright. Here we go with these too. And for the record, I always recommend looking at charts as a whole. Moon signs should be read with Venus signs in regards to someone relationship style. Good shit, okay.

Also, I include the not-so-positive aspects too. Y’all in delulu land talkin’ about omg so passionate and intimate? Yeah, well, include controlling and hyper-focused too.

Here are some awesome generalizations about this placement.

OVERVIEW

Intense af.

But what does that even mean in love?

Like these people hate the idea of shallow connections. They’re like SOULMATES OR NOTHING, hahahaha.

Deep, passionate. Sometimes borderline possessive and smothering, but I know some of y’all freaks are into that.

“Hey, where are you?”

Not super forgiving. They may seem like it, BUT NO. Like okay. And I don’t think they’d hide their resentment. Shit would be obvious. This is more for Minho since Chan’s chart is basically HI NICE LIBRA BOI NO CONFLIC PLS.

Their own intense feelings can scare them into or away from things. They might not even realize this.

imindanger.gif

Pleasing this placement involves demonstrating commitment.

If you seem flakey, they’ll be like nah.

Talkin’ to another guy? They noticed. Yep. And they’re staring or coming over. Or they’re bringing it up later istg, be ready.

These people can feel consumed by their closest relationships sometimes.

Fucking hate the superficial. Or fakeness.

Like how does this look in the day-to-day? Probably hate small talk. They want to jump into the weird conversations really fast.

ALL OR NOTHING energy. I KNOW I SAID THIS BEFORE but YEAH.

TAROT PULL

“What are they like in love?”

Chan: Four of Wands - Upright

He thinks relationships are a celebration — or should be. He’d prefer a super harmonious love (LOL Libra, I see you YOU ARE SEENT).

Compromise over conflict.

There’s a family / friend group energy in this. His partner would have to get along with his friends and a family. He’d also want to be fucking best friends with his partner. No other way.

Likely to fall for someone after being friends with them.

Lmao #friendstolovers y’all.

He’d want them in his corner, cheering him on.

Or being there when shit wasn’t going well.

T e a m.

Achieving things as a pair.

Minho: King of Swords - Upright

Shit flew out at my screen.

King of Swords is usually symbolic of courage and decisiveness.

This kind of tells me a few things about Minho.

He wants someone to give him the courage to love. This popped into my head.

In a relationship, Minho could want to appear cool and controlled in terms of his emotions. He straight up restrains himself probably.

Never, ever, E V E R dishonest with his partner. Even if he’s blunt.

He would 100% expect this in return. Even if it hurts his feelings.

Expresses himself in a way that’s not stereotypically romantic, but his partner will (should, idk) understand that his transparency is a form of love. His openness and vulnerability takes courage.

#astrology #venus signs #kpop #kpop astrology #bang chan #lee minho #lee know #stray kids #skz

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dinosaurtsukki · 3 years

Text

haikyuu!! + things they do when they’re not okay

so i’ve been feeling not okay for a while and figured i’d write headcanons about it instead of dealing with my problems :D (some of these are not healthy coping mechanisms pls don’t do them)

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Hinata: just like what he did in his first days in brazil, this boy stress-eats for comfort. sometimes he’ll walk all the way to the convenience store to buy a meat bun and slowly eat while sitting on the sidewalk

Kageyama: goes for a run by himself. his route isn’t planned like his daily ones, he just lets his thoughts flow as his legs take him wherever they feel like going

Tsukishima: lies on his bed with the lights turned off and listens to true crime podcasts. sometimes he’ll open a bag of apollo candies and eat them slowly

Yamaguchi: goes out of his way to help people more than usual in order to validate himself. he’ll probably buy some fruit and bring them to practice for his teammates. only tsukishima knows the reason why he does this

Ennoshita: stalks his friends’ social media accounts to check on what they’re up to. somehow, seeing his friends happy and knowing that they’re up to a bunch of weird antics makes him happy

Tanaka: he goes unusually quiet so his friends quickly notice that he’s not feeling well. any words of reassurance from them, or a pep talk from noya, helps him feel a little better

Nishinoya: will openly talk about his problems with his friends. more often than not he’ll show up at asahi’s house uninvited or message tanaka late at night but his friends don’t mind at all

Daichi: distances himself from other people, most likely will turn off his phone and go somewhere on his own like the movies or just ride a bus around town for an entire day

Sugawara: goes to the playground he used to frequent when he was younger and sit on the swings by himself all alone with his thoughts

Asahi: takes really long showers and sits in the tub by himself with music playing in the bathroom. sometimes he’ll even listen to ‘sounds of nature’ playlists

Oikawa: he’ll lock himself inside his closet, hug his knees to his chest, and then just cry it all out. most of the time, his crying session will end after he gets a text from his friends

Iwaizumi: will literally work out until he passes out from exhaustion on the ground. lately, he realized how dangerous this was so he goes for a run instead

Hanamaki: he’ll write self-deprecating tweets and share memes about being sad until someone actually asks him what’s wrong. more often than not, he’ll dodge the question

Matsukawa: he has a folder of obscure and funny videos he likes to watch (like ‘don’t hug me i’m scared’ or terrible disney amv’s). by the time he’s crying with laughter he tells himself he’s fine

Ushijima: has a hard time telling whether he’s feeling okay or not and it’s usually tendou who picks up on it before ushijima does. he’s slightly surprised whenever tendou calls but can’t deny that he feels much better afterwards

Shirabu: becomes even more snappy and sarcastic than usual and he doesn’t really stop until he realizes that he may have gone too far and feels bad about it

Semi: idly picks and strums his guitar alone in his room. he likes to play a song he’s a bit familiar with like ‘wonderwall’ or ‘hallelujah’

Tendou: on the outside, he doesn’t act that much different and seems like his usual normal (weird) self but when he’s by himself he just stares at the ceiling for a long time

Goshiki: actively seeks some form of affection or affirmation from his friends. he’ll work even harder at practice for his teammates or coach to say that he did really well and feels a bit happier when they do

Kuroo: watches his favorite movies, basically the ones he’s watched since he was a kid, and settle down with a huge bowl of popcorn. sometimes he’ll invite bokuto or kenma over

Kenma: plays something like Sims 3, Minecraft, or Stardew Valley with no concept of time. since kuroo’s friends with him on Steam he can tell when kenma’s not feeling okay so he’ll ask to play with him

Yaku: he’s unable to sleep when he’s not feeling okay so he ends up falling asleep in class during these times. at night, he’ll try to go on walks to tire himself

Lev: immediately opens up to his sister because they’re so close. he’ll knock on her room and hug a pillow on her bed while telling alisa about his problems

Bokuto: he’s completely transparent so his teammates always notice when he’s down. if he’s more sad than usual, akaashi suggests ditching practice and going out to eat somewhere instead

Akaashi: he has a secret tumblr blog where he writes down all of his thoughts whenever he’s not okay. some are frustrations, some are just intrusive thoughts he wants to let go of. either way, it helps

Atsumu: completely neglects to take care of himself. he’ll forget to eat and wouldn’t realize he’s been wearing the same clothes for days

Osamu: he’ll eat the same thing for days, something like instant mac and cheese or canned soup, because he can’t think of eating anything else

Suna: just falls into a deep sleep that can go on for more than ten hours. it stresses his friends out so when suna wakes up, there are about 28 miss calls from his friends

Kita: calls up his grandmother and all of his friends to just ask how they’re doing, he’ll let the conversation go on for hours if they need to

Sakusa: he actually owns a little reversible octopus keychain that he keeps on his bag (its the one where you flip depending on your mood). komori and his msby teammates check on the octopus from time to time

***********************************************

taglist (still open to anyone who wants in!): @montys-chaos @miyumtwins @strawberriimilkshake @pocubo @sugawara-sweetheart @akaashisbabydoll @laure-chan @therainroguefanfiction @atetiffdoesart @stephdaninja @oikaw-ugh @charliefredb @dramaqueenweeb1469 @tremblinghearts @applepienation @doodleniella @haikyuu-my-love @tpwkatsumu @waitforitillwritemywayout @kattykurr

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shinayashipper · 2 years

Note

Would you like to talk about shinaya some more? Or the series? No pressure, but you made it sound very interesting and I would love to hear more of your thoughts if youre up to sharing more in the future :))

OH YOU KNOW I WOULD 🔥

I'm so happy you found them interesting!! But the whole series is indeed Confusing, even the die-hard fans had a hard time understanding the whole lore.

Pls have in mind that SUICIDE, DEPRESSION, DEATH, are the core major triggers in the whole franchise

AND OF COURSE it gets Long, so... just get ready 😂

If you want to get into the series I recommend starting from the songs to get the vibe, and then the manga (I think the manga got the nicest flow and you can get into the story with it, very suitable for new fans), and then the novels (they're 8 volumes in total, and while they're light novels, they're packed with so much Lore, the novels gave you more insights on the characters' backstory in details, very suitable if you want to dig more into the characters), and then the anime (which I don't recommend if you didn't know anything of the series, because the flow is very rushed and it is done by SHAFT studio which is famous for their artistic take in directing, and they done kagepro with so much symbolism and abstract take, it's just hard to understand if you're not a fan. The animation's also feels Wonky and Cheap).

Someone had put together all the kagepro songs and their animated MVs with english sub into one playlist, you can watch it HERE

If you're only interested in the shinaya-centric songs you can see:

Transparent Answer - A song about Shintaro's lamentation on Ayano. Tells about their friendship throughout the years and how he lost her. It is implied that Shintaro is the writer of this song </3

Ayano's Theory of Happiness - The song that tells about Ayano's backstory, what drives her to kill herself. It's Ayano-centric and doesn't really have shinaya elements in it, but Shintaro appears briefly in the MV. This one is very spoiler-heavy. Not graphic, but it also got suicide elements in it.

Additional Memory - Very Spoiler-heavy too. The song about Ayano's regret and loneliness, it's about her Feelings after Killing Herself and deep regret: she still wonders even now is this decision really the right thing to do... but she can't go back now. Also suicide and blood and death imagery throughout the MV.

Lost Time Memory - My fav song! The MV is just so revolutionary the first time I watched it, it completely Inspired me! This one is also spoiler-heavy on the whole story. It tells about Shintaro after the 2 years of him being a shut-in post-Ayano's death, in here he already met the rest of the characters (who actually got deep connection to Ayano), now he's no longer a shut-in and is slowly regaining himself and started to move on, but as I quote from the song "Years pass by, but your shadows still surround me" it's about how Ayano still lingers in his mind even after years and even if now he's not alone anymore. She still haunts him. This song also shows the "worst" timeline and how it parallels with the Shintaro now. It is not graphic but it got suicide elements in it.

#SHINAYA #kagepro #YYYYEEESSSS #I really love the MVs pls look at how much work they put into it #hope you enjoyed them!!

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mammons-tax-returns · 3 years

Note

"for one muse to kiss the other's scar" w satan pls? 👉🏻👈🏻

masterlist / 600+ followers event

Thank you for your request, anon! No pronouns were specified so I hope you don’t mind masc mc :’)

I kept getting scared that this was getting too lengthy (i have a short ass attention span so ik i cant read long stuff LMAO) so I redid a bunch of parts, i hope it’s not too apparent!

✖️MALE MC✖️

Anything with history is an eye-catcher to Satan.

Just like a good novel, things with meaning and origins deeper than surface level are so much more enjoyable and genuine than things that simply are there. Who says an Avatar of Wrath can’t be poetic?

But it’s often that things with such overwhelming sentiment that Satan feels become an eye sore much quicker than anything else. Some things of personal importance are meant to be remembered, but not belabored to the point of ruin.

He is forced to face this fact today when Lucifer pushes a boundary that may not have even existed before. At any rate, it does now. Skipping past the point of negotiation entirely, Satan now finds himself pacing his room, cursing his brothers name under his hissing breath.

MC patiently watches as Satan goes through his breathing exercises on his own, knowing that if Satan has learned to calm down on his own before, he can do it again. Just being in his room with him is enough.

On the other hand, Satan isn’t too keen on that idea.

Things have become enstranged between him and Lucifer— Even more so. At this point, it’s hard to tell that MC’s help had brought them any closer at all.

The recent fights and arguments continuously end in Satan peering at the long, winding scar wrapping around his wrist and forearm like a ravenous snake. Just its faded presence is enough to make him conflicted.

He received this scar long ago, at least thousands of years ago. From a day that Lucifer got a bit too close to Satan when he was angry.

Maybe that was the day that set the precedent. The precedent that stated that no matter how smart or calm he presents, there will always be some turmoil within him brewing like a storm.

The disappointment and weariness that shows in his own family’s faces when he gets worked up is so evident he wishes he could be anyone else than who he is. Even if just for a day. But isn’t it unfair to only expect chaos from him? Certainly he’s been doing better to keep his anger in check... Right?

Besides... It’s just his nature to be angry. So, maybe... No, he still is held accountable for his actions. He definitely should just—

“Satan? Are you... Are you okay?” MC quietly calls his name from his bed. Perhaps he should have called Satan’s name a little earlier? The demon stood staring at his clothed arm in absolute silence for a number of minutes until now.

Satan’s eyes open a little wider. “Huh..? Oh, I’m sorry. I must have spaced out... How uncharacteristic of me.” He can’t find it in himself to smile, and instead uses his left hand to hold onto his scarred forearm, pushing it aside in hopes to shake off his intrusive thoughts.

“Moreover... I feel like I have calmed down significantly. Thank you for being here MC, but perhaps you’ve been bored out of your mind here.” He gives a firm smile and quickly looks away. “You may leave if you’d like.”

MC doesn’t quite listen to his offer. Satan seemed more tensed than normal when he would have “calmed down”. If he were a danger to be around at that moment, he would have said so, anyways. And if there was any chance of being able to help him before he does something risky, MC would take it.

“Well... It wouldn’t hurt to stay just a bit more, would it?” MC gave him a small smile, in which Satan seemed to become a bit flustered upon seeing.

Satan wonders how to respond. MC was right. And it may just hurt more if Satan is alone with his thoughts. “Oh, MC.” He sighs with unsaid appreciation, then makes his way into bed beside the human, who is still sitting on the edge. “Sometimes I wonder who truly are the angels of the exchange program.”

MC giggles, rolling over so that the two males lay side by side. “I’m no angel, but humans aren’t so bad... Occasionally.”

Satan smiles to let him know that the response was well received. Lord knows how grim his expression was while he was subconsciously considering his past just moments ago.

“But, that aside...” MC turns his head to look at the blonde. “What’s wrong, Satan? I’m not forcing anything out, but I’m thinking I should start to worry.”

Satan could almost laugh at those words. Worry? For him? A demon who embodies fury and unrelenting rage? It’s... A little odd to picture.

“Hmph. Well... Now that I have to put it in words, it seems a bit silly when it really shouldn’t be...”

MC raised a brow. “Based off of how you were glaring at your hands earlier, I doubt that this is about it being silly, and more about you trying to downplay it. But I’d say that’s a rather common coping mechanism.”

Satan felt as if he were see through. A mere glass pane. How could someone see into his mind so well? He had barely gotten into his explanation at all. “Er. I guess you could say that...

“It would appear that the tension... Between Lucifer and I has caused some rather distasteful memories to surface.” Satan mumbles the words as if they would reflect his character poorly. As if they were something to be ashamed of.

MC picks up on this, and a frown deepens his features. “Satan...” He pauses to think about what to say next, “You see, this is the part where I have no idea what to add because you guys have thousands of years of age on me.”

Satan ruffles the male’s hair when he sees the small pout on his lips. “You’ll come to learn that most demons are petty, shallow creatures with personalities about as deep as a puddle,”

Coming to a stop, the Avater of Wrath subconsciously began to pull up his sleeve to reveal the very edge of his scar. However, he hesitates, and his throat tightens just barely.

What in the hell was he doing?

“...” MC can’t look away from Satan’s hands, and it seems that time has stopped for a moment. Even the air that previously entered and exited MC’s nose seized.

Satan suddenly relaxes. It’s just MC. A human that knows all too well that this household could be dangerous and frightening. So he continues to pull up the bit of cloth covering peach skin.

“And sometimes, we tend to give into vainglorious temptations that only end up hurting someone, or everyone.” Satan finishes, voice barely breaking the border between a whisper and mutter. “I suppose I could have gone about pushing Lucifer’s buttons in a smarter way... But I didn’t, unfortunately. So I’m left with this loving scar from my brother.”

MC supresses a gasp, and gently takes hold of Satan’s arm. “It looks like it was super deep... I’m sorry this happened to you Satan.”

Satan watches MC trail his fingers calmingly along the edge of his river-like line along his arm. He rotates his forearm so that he can follow its path all around his arm.

“I appreciate that, MC... But I’m ‘over it’, for lack of better words. You see here, the scars actually make the silhouette of a cat on the untouched skin. It’s rather cute.”

MC laughs at the revelation. It was cute. But as much as he could admire Satan’s turning of an unfortunate event into a moment of entertainment for the two of them, he couldn’t ignore the weary look on Satan’s face.

“Awh... That’s adorable.” MC lightly mocks a babyish tone, and rubs his finger on the head of this imaginary feline. “It’s like a mini Satan cat.” He feels Satan’s shoulder move as he chuckles breathily.

“I value your adoration for my unsightly skin, MC. But if you’re so affectionate to this mere imagery of ‘mini Satan’ , perhaps you could spare a moment or two paying more attention to me.” He’s not sure if Satan means to sound dismayed rather than playful, even through the smile on his lips.

So he decides to gently grab onto Satan’s arm and press his lips against the indented skin on his forearm.

“M-MC-..!” Satan jumps, free hand freezing mid-air. His body heat is rising, and he’s sure MC can feel it.

“You’d better not be talking about Mini Satan like that, Satan.” MC mumbles against his skin. “He’s not unsightly. He’s wonderful and handsome, just like you.”

Satan can’t find a way to respond. Was he supposed to feel his heart squeeze? This seemed too menial of a response from MC for his heart to be racing like this. He simply smiles and shakes his head helplessly.

“Thank you, MC...” He lets out the breath he had been holding in.

Perhaps he could afford to be transparent every once in a while.

#obey me satan #satan x mc #male reader #obey me #satan

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inmyarmswrappedin · 3 years

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What is your opinion on this season so far? I feel like it's a bit all over the place. I can't really put my finger on it why maybe you have a better idea it just feels like they focused on too many different storys tell me i'm wrong idk ?!

Hi anon 🐢 Tbh, I think this season is great! I know it might sound contradictory because my last few posts have been critical, but when you get down to it, my complaint is that I’m not getting to spend as much time with these characters as I’d like. Like... If only I could say the same for all Skams and all seasons lmao.

Writing-wise, I think the season couldn’t be better. Maybe I’m too hopeful because I think it will all get wrapped up properly in the end, but I have a great deal of trust in the writers because I have s5 as reference. This is one instance in which choosing a safer main, like Nora, worked. They exceeded expectations with Nora, so I now know what to expect from them.

A while back I wrote this post about Skam love interests. In that post I mentioned the way Nora and Josh don’t follow the traditional Skam LI pattern, and I said the season might be less cohesive as a result. However, Fatou and Kieu My absolutely do. Fatou struggles with school where Kieu My excels, she is warm where Kieu My is an ice queen, she is transparent where Kieu My doesn’t say what she feels, she gets in her head as Kieu My starts to open up. It all makes all the storylines, themes and motifs (galaxies colliding, axolotls, to name two) more interconnected. Like, seriously, maybe the problem is that it’s all SO interconnected that it feels like you can’t even take out a couple frames without hurting the storyline in some way. 😂 (Except the principal cooing about her ultrasound, that was obv filler.)

But, personally, I don’t think the story is focusing on too many different storylines because I think all these added tensions inform why the characters are acting the way they are. Like... Ismail wouldn’t be talking to Fatou if they hadn’t stolen that tortoise and they wouldn’t be increasingly more vulnerable if they didn’t feel a degree of uncertainty because of Sporty Spice’s erratic behavior. The cashqueens would’ve been ready to welcome Kieu My as Fatou’s gf if they weren’t having issues as a squad because of the bio test leaks, the storage room punishment, and the Oury Jalloh protest. Ava would be less on edge if she felt like Fatou was putting as much work into their friendship as Ava is (like leaving Marc’s place to spend time with Fatou and give Fatou a chance to make up). Like I said, if it weren’t for the characters’ side storylines taking place, they would react to Fatou and interact with Fatou in much different ways. And all these events have to pile up for Fatou to feel overwhelmed and like she’s losing control, too. That’s not to say they couldn’t show more of that stress... Someone on twitter suggested that we’d gotten to see Fatou cleaning the flooded bathroom to actually feel the stress, and I think that could’ve added to the overall feeling of stress. (Although I’m already super tense and wanting Fatou to snap ngl.)

Other notes: I think the acting is fine! Sira does a really great job as main, and Nhungi has conveyed all the emotions Kieu My is supposed to convey for her character to make sense. Really don’t get the hate for her tbh. I think the music is better than last season, the lyrics relate more to what’s going on, and the songs are less generic dance music than in s5 (I’m begging on my knees, pls less generic dance music and chart-topping trash in s7 and beyond). Social media is fine... Druck generally does pretty well with social media and this season isn’t any different.

tl;dr: I don’t really get the criticism that the season has too many storylines. That’s (personally!) not the thing I want the team to take onboard for next seasons.

#ask #druck #Anonymous

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whirlybirbs · 3 years

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this might sound weird (and if so pls ignore this!) but do you care about notes and interactions on your fics? im a writer and i try v hard to not compare myself to others but when i see people getting so many notes i can’t help comparing myself and it’s 👁👄👁 somewhat soul crushing

i’m gonna pop this response under a read more, because she be LONG but it also tackles some getting-started tips that folks have been asking me for following vacant mirrors’ wonderful reception!!!

so this is sort of a hard question — because while notes are sometimes a good gauge about the reception of a fic or piece of work, they’re also finicky and not as transparent nor straightforward as they seem.

you could draw the next mona lisa and it could sit at 23 notes for two weeks until a larger-than-you fandom blog reblogs your work, and boom! you’re amassing thousands of notes a day. exposure is difficult when you’re smaller, so keep that in mind.

as someone who has been writing on tumblr for 5+ years now (for a million fandoms), i’ve been lucky enough to grow a pretty hunky following (i love you, ya big ol’ hunks) so posts of mine will usually have a good amount of likes no matter the content — you can attribute that to my followers and my relationship with said followers/readers. it’s grown over time!

when you’re a 300 follower blog, see posts by a 14k blog get fawned over, it can be daunting. tumblr’s lack of a transparent follower/following system (like twitter) can add to the wonder of “is it me, is my work just bad?” when in reality it’s all because of a blog’s preexisting conditions prior to publishing content.

the trick is beginning to understand that some blogs have a leg up when they begin publishing content — maybe they’ve been around longer, maybe they’ve had a certain piece go viral, maybe they’re talented at promoting their work! maybe they’re just incredibly talented.

pay attention to that, and don’t be afraid to take notes on their approach.

(by no means does this mean carbon copy what they do. i’ve had folks copy and paste my style down to the typeface and layout i was using for my gif headers. people notice.)

at the end of the day, we can all tell stories, but those who read them are incredibly important in the cycle of creation. love your readers and your followers.

when i was a smaller blog and i’d just begun writing, the notes were always a tricky subject — i found that when i focused on them, i would get pretty disheartened. the truth of it is that when you’re posting, how you’re posting, and the sort of content your making is usually dependant on how your work is going to be interacted with. then, add on the additional factor of who’s following you and how they’ll share the story.

i think consistency and finding your own voice are the two big tricks. is going to get you to the point where you don’t feel like you need to worry about the notes and instead focus on the reception/interaction with your work.

but, all this being said, remember who you’re writing for. if you’re writing for the notes, that’s your prerogative — you may find you’re more likely to crash that way. writing for yourself and seeing yourself grow is usually the best frame of mind to be in, i find. take that daydream and write it out, baby!

(also, sidenote: don’t let followers boss you about. there will be those people who do not understand boundaries with creators they like. people are weird, trust me. don’t be afraid to set those aforementioned boundaries hard and fast. rule pages are important! when people break those rules, call ‘em right out.)

i hope this helps? and makes sense?

honestly the baby was screaming at me for 90% of this because that’s what she does at this age like jESUIS little lady do u even CHILL ever

#no i do not have a child #i am nannying #RELAX #I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE EXPLAINED MORE BUT I AM EXHAUSTED

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