#person to show him kindness throughout his whole life
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Metapost: "The Ascendent"
**this is a meta for my fic, Pieces Still Stuck in Your Teeth, and NOT a discussion of the BG3 game canon in any way. If you try and make this into a disk-horse, I will BITE you**
(spoilers under the cut for Chapters 1-23 of Pieces Still Stuck in Your Teeth).
So... remember in the Chapter One endnote when I said I was a Spike/Buffy fan first, and a person second? x
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In more seriousness, there was a number of fictional seasonings/ingredients that went into creating what I felt was the villain of a Gothic horror, and what I felt could turn the Ascendent into something that was both 'fixable', and something I enjoyed writing.
Those ingredients were:
Spike and the idea of 'soulless' vampires in the BtVS canon - do I like this conceit of BtVS worldbuilding and how it's used in the show? No. I think it often underlines how bad Whedon is at writing romance. BUT I do think it gives Buffy this free pass for which vampires she can/can't like or adopt, and I needed some of that for my protagonist. I need a 'I can fix him' moment - BtVS has those in fucking SPADES.
Howl's Moving Castle (this one was accidental, I'm still mad at myself but I can't deny it's there) - man conducts magic ritual for power, removing an essential part of himself in the process that needs to be returned
Picture of Dorian Gray (the idea of an exterior staying pristine while something hidden suffers and decays)
Curse of Strahd (the soulless in Barovia, which I mentioned in Chapter 23)
The idea of default moral alignments in D&D. I have a whole chapter arguing against this in my thesis (mostly bc it's often applied to entire races) but I was fascinated by creating a set of circumstances where I feel like a default moral alignment is valid, actually. 7,000 deaths seems like a good set up. I wanted to imagine a being that was trapped within a default moral alignment, and the laws of its very being prevent it from being good no matter what it tries, and it knows that (this kind of creates a feedback loop with the Spike/Buffy stuff)
The parts of the BG3 canon I took and REMADE (I'm stressing this throughout, I was making a horror story and a horror monster your honour):
Astarion conducts the Rite of Profane Ascension with scars on his back, but has to scar Cazador's back personally, suggesting that um... the Rite REALLY SHOULDN'T BE CONDUCTED BY SOMEONE WHO'S GOT THOSE SCARS. Cazador wasn't going to do it that way, is all I'm saying!!
The idea that Ascended!Ending Astarion is a concentrated version of certain traits that have persisted throughout his story - his flirtiness, his understanding of sex as a mechanism and expression of power, his use of a façade as a mask for trauma he refuses to acknowledge.
The lines alluding to dissociation in the brothel foursome, post-Ascension.
The idea that Astarion seduced Tav to survive or protect himself- in my case, because I made the Ascendent empty save for Astarion's survival instinct, the idea that he would gravitate towards Tav as one of his default modes to potentially survive made sense to me - this is why it becomes an obsession.
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For me, when writing, the Ascendent is a few things:
An intensification of vampirism in a different, fucked-up direction. Yeah, A!Astarion, you can walk in sunlight and you can eat and drink and don't need blood. But you are still a hungering maw of emptiness that feels like it will never be whole or close and connected to the living - just now in a wildly different, metaphysical/existential direction! Welcome to depression, alienation, and otherness!
A soulless being, that knows it is soulless - that initially was very happy with its life but then as the years passed, increasingly spends its every waking moment knowing there is something innately wrong with it that it can't seem to shake, no matter how much it engages with life and all the pleasures of life. (see the 'every meal without savour' speech)
A magically literal metaphor for Astarion's dissociation in moments of extreme trauma, up to and including the fight with Cazador - essentially, the moments when there is nothing but a performance or an exterior, because the self/soul are suffering and they cant' come to phone right now
Astarion's survival instinct. As I say in Chapter 23 - Mephistopheles thinks it is an empty body, who's performance is trying to deny the reality of it's own existence. Rosalie, who has a bit more understanding of Astarion, sees that the performance is not just a coping mechanism but one of Astarion's main modes of survival. The Ascendent is Astarion's survival instinct/techniques for endurance, without any soul or person behind them to protect. This is how I tried to tie in the flirty, hypersexual persona and wrap it with a bow.
I wanted a monster that was undeniably scary, and monstrous to me (oh? you can't fit in or be happy no matter what you do and no matter how hard you try, and you think there's something intrinsically off? how's that autism diagnosis going Emma) but that I also felt sympathy and true sorrow for. I needed to have motivations for him chasing after Tav that I could write meaningfully from and sympathise with.
Not only has Astarion used Tav as a life-raft once before, they've also proven to be the most secure thing he's ever clung to. Of course a rabid survival instinct Astarion would become obsessed, and see them as a potential solution to the problem (this was then intensified by Rosalie also being a walking, overbearing moral compass, and having bound him in a contract in the first week of living, accidentally - a lawful good immoveable objects meets a default moral alignment unstoppable force.)
...Because I also wanted that moral alignment spice!! Wizards of the Coast, default moral alignment is fucked up actually!!! Imagine something trying so desperately to be good - literally being bound in a pact and having been told to be good - but the laws of the universe and its very essence are like "nah mate, we kind of want to destroy and annihilate everything, we're neutral evil personified". That's scary!! that's fucked up!! that's what a birth from 7000 deaths gets you!!!
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So, now for the actual timeline, for people who aren't interested in my silly musings but mostly just want answers lmfao.
Rosalie makes the decision not to intervene in Cazador's mansion, making it seem like she'll support whatever decision Astarion will make there.
Rite of Profane Ascension happens. Astarion conducts the ritual, rips his own soul from his body, the Ascendent is born with literally zero context. Mephistopheles is fucked in Cania, because a bunch of stuff has just gone wrong.
(oh, by the way, the Ascendent knows Infernal as a default language. Bc it's born from an Infernal rite.)
The Ascendent is now default neutral evil, and feeling some kind of way. Rosalie and him break up. He's supposed to have everything, but the one thing he thought was a done deal - his most stalwart suppporter - just rejected him.
Netherbrain defeat (the Ascendent is not invited. Imagine being an all-powerful, hypersexual survival instinct vampire, and your ex-girlfriend neither wants you for sex, nor your power.)
Rosalie accidentally binds the Ascendent (a soulless devil) in a pact demanding that he never kill anyone, when that's literally what the Ascendent's new existence/new default moral alignment is driving him to do. Then, she fucks off and goes into hiding.
Well. The Ascendent can just get another wizard, to help him learn all of Cazador's secrets to cope [Hemlock is recruited].
The years go by! The Ascendent is doing sooooo well. Everything is great, guys! I'm rich, I'm beautiful, I have lavish parties and lots of sex - why do I feel nothing? I'm a vampire perfected - I have no hunger for blood, I can walk in the sun, I can enjoy all the freedoms of a living, breathing man - why do I feel like I'm starving? Why does everything turn to ashes in my mouth? I have friends - oops, I've sabotaged all those friendships with my innate neutral evil destruction. Why can't I feel anything? What's wrong with me? I'm doing everything right? Why doesn't it feel that way?
Also, I can't kill anything to feel better about it, because my hidden ex-girlfriend bound me in a pact.
In this time, to reflect the gradual degradation of the Ascendent's happiness and it's increasing awareness that it is something Other and innately wrong, the reflection starts going weird. Starts going strange. Starts getting a bit fucked up. Almost as if, when he looks in the mirror and sees a person, *nothing* should be what's there. Imagine being a spawn who couldn't see your reflection, and then a vampire who could see it's reflection, but knows that they're innately empty. Knows there's nothing there. I'd freak out a little bit about it as well tbh, I'd go a bit tooth and claw and elongated jaw about it.
The Ascendent finally admits that's there must be something kinda fucked about it. Life just ain't working out, lads. He starts looking for any and all impossible cures that will help with the malaise in his soul (and that innate essence problem, caused by default moral alignment). These include: more bad decisions, such as a house in Cania bc the Ascendent is hoping he'll feel more at home with devils than he does with mortals. All it does is make him feel more isolated and alone.
But eventually, he settles on two things! - Wish (Hemlock's idea), and Rosalie (the Ascendent's idea). Clearly, we just need Rosalie back! Her leaving is actually what fucked him up in the first place - none of this existential bullshit! She fixed us one, she can fix us again.
But looking for Rosalie hasn't worked out. In order to get a shot at her, the Ascendent goes and bargains for his own soul from Mephistopheles. Mephistopheles, adding a new sheet in excel titled 'what the fuck happens when i give this soulless monster a soul to play with?', agrees and starts tracking his new data.
Obviously, just putting the soul back in yourself will fix you. But the Ascendent, the nothingness living inside Astarion's body, will die. Taking the soul back would erase itself. The Ascendent - who is survival instinct personified - would never do this.
So instead, it starts interviewing and cannibalising the soul. Bc a soul is what it needs, this is the closest it's ever felt to being alive. Bc it's made this all about Rosalie, he thinks he's found his solution. The chase is making him feel alive again. It's true love, lads! not the soul.
Wish auction happens - the Ascendent is beaten to the punch by some unknown (hot) wizard.
This avenue cut off, the Ascendent makes the decision to try and win Rosalie back.
Astarion advises that to make her come back to the Gate, he should murder a bunch of people. Because this comes from the soul, not the soulless devil nothingness, it circumvents the pact.
...The events of Pieces begin!
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And finally - the Ascendent tries to destroy Jar!Starion for many reasons in Chapter 19:
The Ascendent knows that it dies, if the soul and the body get reunited (or is that constant high alert survival instinct just no longer needed, because the problem is fixed? you decide.)
The Ascendent values Tav above itself. Tav is going to fix them. Astarion believes he could never fix himself.
Dissociation - that soul isn't me. I'm here, looking at my soul. If I get too close, it'll kill me.
Self-hatred - that soul isn't me. That man made a mistake, and I've had to live with the consequences. He doesn't deserve to live, for what he's made me become.
The knowledge that Rosalie/Tav will only ever want that version of him, not the one that's living and breathing, that sees itself as the most wretched, fucked-up version of itself. So... give them no choice. They have to deal with me and love me at my worst.
And if the Rite didn't work - if the version of the Ascendent walking around isn't the best one, and the one people want... what was it all for? Why does the Ascendent feel like this? Why does it have to suffer?
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....And, that's my little meta post! If anyone has any questions about the timeline or any motivations at any points in the fic, I'm obviously more than happy to explain things via ask/comment, as always!
TLDR: I just wanted to make a Gothic horror. I wanted a dark romance, fucked up obsession vampire/mortal dynamic, but I also wanted a situation that was scary for both Astarion and my Tav. I personally think an Astarion who is so dissociated and separate from reality that he feels that in his bones daily, is scary. It's the lingering impact of the traumas the Rite and those 7,000 souls embodied.
I was literally just trying to make it a horror, for everyone involved.
#metaposts#long posts#my writing#wip: pieces still stuck in your teeth#spoilers!#i've never really explained my writing process before in this depth so... I hope it makes sense!#writing meta
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anyways, i feel like its responsible of me to put a not so obvious content warning on chainsaw man now that its getting popular and this isnt really talked about as much — and for good reason — but it's pretty important. and that's grooming. specifically because one of the characters, denji, is a minor, and for the whole first part, he gets groomed by makima, an ageless adult. and while, yes, it is important for story reasons i can't really spoil (unless you've read through the entirety of part one and know. why), it doesn't get nearly brought up as much because everybody loves to focus on the cool fight scenes and gore rather than the actual meta of the relationship focused on denji and makima. and for good reason
so, if you are watching the anime, and you're uncomfy by the scenes with denji and makima, that's why. it's never outright said, but it's pretty explicit in the context of the scenes
#rubys clown thoughts#grooming cw#i saw someone said this on twitter which im surprised is never brought up anywhere else outside of twitter#but its actually something thats pretty reasonable that needs to be talked about#like. denji has a whole ass crush on makima throughout the whole manga which makes sense hes a teen and makima was the first#person to show him kindness throughout his whole life#but its pretty creepy that makima reciprocates it. which again. shes an ageless adult. without going into too much spoilers
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So about Netflix's the Last Airbender....
I am literally so confused you guys. You made me think I would HATE this show. And I LOVED it. Me. Known perfectionist and hater.
Katara was lovely. Yes, she started as a more soft spoken character than her cartoon version, but she was still passionate and hopeful throughout, just visibly unsure of herself. I think people were thrown off by this actress' natural way of expressing herself, which is Different from animated katara for sure, but not bad. Then she spends the whole season growing in Confidence and Fire. I Adored her fight with Paku, it really did feel like a payout of the whole season's development, and the bending kicked ass!
The Bending Kicked ass!!! The martial arts was fun and fast and creative and exciting! It looked SO good. That alone would be enough reason for me to watch and enjoy any show.
Zuko's actor was fantastic. He really captured the rage and confusion of this 16 year old banished prince. And there were so many Added moments between him and Iroh wich to me enriched their relationship. Like YES! This is why I'm watching, to see more of them, to see things done a little differently.
Iroh facing the consequences of his actions at Ba Sing Se!! That's what I'm here for!
Zuko's relationship with the men on his ship! That's what I'm here for!
The Extra layers we get to Ozai manipulating his children!
Also no one is talking about Admiral Zhao, who I had SO much fun with. I feel like they slightly fleshed out his character in a really dramatic way, really developing the hubris and frankly insane grasping ambition of someone who would kill the moon. I completely enjoyed this wilder, less controlled version of him, who comes up through the season from basically nothing and no one!
I am OBSESSED with King BUMI and his anger and disillusionment with the world! Like this was SO real. Living a hundred years of futile war would do that!!!! It is one of my favorite changes to the whole series. This new layer of emotion and character depth is what I'm here for!
Sokka was SO funny. He literally had me laughing out loud so often. That actor GETs Sokka, and GETS the way his humor is delivered. And is also able to tap into the more vulnerable side of him. People said he was "obsessed" with leadership. WHAT? That is a young person trying desperately to do his best and to try and find his place in the world, to figure what he has to offer. I loved his pride at hearing the Mechanist say that he would make a good engineer, and the sweetness of the moment that Yue's father says that he can be a hero without being a warrior. Sokka does so much growth in this series, in understanding himself and life.
And his chemistry with Suki was adorable!! I even like him and Yue (who was a totally unexpected sweetheart, despite her terrible wig)!! Like he has that same ability that Sokka has in the original to Connect with people.
Aang was great! He WAS fun loving and sweet and funny. I don't know what you guys wanted. Cartoons are always bigger and more exaggerated than live action. People's eyes swell up an, birds fly around their heads, and there are funny sound effects. That larger than life quality is the strength of animation! You have to look for different strength in live action. Like the SUBTLETIES of the acting choices. This little actor brought so much kindness, innocence, and strength to Aang.
And I FELT his frustration at being asked to do this at 12, his fresh hope anytime it looked like someone more experienced would be able to help him and no one did, and that's why he didn't learn waterbending this season, because he kept waiting for an freaking ADULT to show him the way, to help him carry this immense burden, but every adult he meets asks him for help instead, asks him to carry it himself, and then the finale hits and he realizes that there won't be any adults helping, he does have figure this out himself, and he makes the hard choice, takes on responsibility more than his years and offers himself to the ocean spirit, and he might have been lost entirely if not for Katara!
And that counter running theme to the show pays off: that he doesn't have to do it alone. He may not have more experienced guidance, because the adults have let him down again and again, but his friends will be with him, and they will figure it out together!
This is there throughout the series! Katara tells him this about learning waterbending, when he says he still wants to wait. Bumi tells him this in the palace at Omashu, and Aang sees the faith he has in his friends repaid!
I like these changes! And the show still found time for silly fun adventures and character building moments.
The show was never going to be the animated original. That is already a Masterpiece, and it frankly did NOT need to be adapted at all. I did not WANT a live action adaptation. I was adamantly convinced I would hate it. But the changes that they netflix show gave are what I Iike most about it. If I want to see Zuko say "you rise with the moon, I rise with the sun," I will go watch the animated original, because that version is perfect. And now, if i want to see Zuko say "Lu ten would have been proud to have you as a father," and see iroh pull him into a tight hug, I can watch this live action version, which is very good too. I'm going to disagree with most of the people on here and say that the Netflix's Avatar: The Last Airbender, DOES capture the heart of what we liked about the original show. It's spirit, fun, excitement, and characters. And the changes made are the reason we should be watching.
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One of the main reasons I've been so fond of Otasune since I first knew it was a thing was because I think they're genuinely one of the purest forms of love in Metal Gear.
Throughout the series we see horrible relationships between horrible people trying to get by and then that relationship gets dragged through the awful scenarios they live with, be it war, internal struggles, infidelity etc. Despite this common place struggle with so many other characters, we see Otacon and Snake steadfast loyal and healthy throughout every struggle they go through.
They may not be an official couple, but they will always stay the most communicative relationship even outside of shipping. I see people joke about how Otacon kind of bosses Snake around (especially in MGS4), but I always saw it as refreshing. In the series, there is so many times where x character does something horrendous and y character just sits aside and silently sulks about it.
But this doesn't happen, like at all, with Dave and Hal. There are many times where Snake doesn't think about consequences to his actions as a general rule of soldier, however Hal has never been a soldier. So when these things happen, Otacon tells him off and it's something Snake genuinely needs to hear. It's something human, away from combat. Because Otacon is one of the very few characters that talks to Snake as a person, as a human, not as a soldier or fucked up clone baby.
Snake has gone his whole life scrapping the bottom of the barrel to stop feeling so lonely, he flirts with every woman he sees, he attaches himself very easily onto superiors, etc. Snake is a man who has spent his whole life trying to appeal to people, to get the praise he was never allowed as a child. Otacon gives him the comfort he never got. While any military superior can say Dave is the best of the best. None will look him in the face and tell him he has to live to just live.
Hal also opens a lot of doors to Snake's own discovery about himself. While this next point might sound a little cringy, stick with me. People may joke about the anime interest Snake and Otacon share, but it always came across so genuinely sweet to me. Snake's only interests up until he met Otacon have been, stop feeling lonely and war. I think even part of his musher life and interests within sledding can contribute to part of this. I mean come on, not even a regular musher keeps 50 dogs in their house and dogs are a natural remedy to loneliness. But in all seriousness, David refers to the huskies as his only family and I don't see him connecting with any other mushers he works with, it reads as him wanting to not be alone while also still being so lonely. As well as how mushing is considered a more normal interest than being an otaku, especially in the early 2000s. Mushing is a sport, and being an Otaku was pretty much unheard of or hated. Watching this guy who has been stuffed full of war propaganda scream a dorky "falcon punch" and "ninjutsu" with his best friend is so heartwarming in a way.
As well as Otacon's whole meme turned question of "do you think love can bloom on the battlefield?" Is something that I think Snake needed to be asked. It's probably been something he's been thinking about. It is also one of the most human things Snake asked throughout the game. About finding love in fear. Otacon constantly prods into Snake's heart and brings out the good in him.
Not only does Hal open up a space for Snake to have genuine unashamed interests and show true pure humanity. He also shows off their childhood. Both Hal and David never got proper childhoods. They connect that with each other through cheesy animes, talking about uncertainty in love, finding out what life is all about, navigating feelings, and through that damn cheesy handshake hug. It's all genuinely pure and wholesome love that connects what they didn't get to explore in childhood with one another. When Snake opened that piss covered locker and saved Otacon, he brought his own salvation into his life without knowing it. The very presence of Otacon saved Snake. It's why MGS4 felt so depressing for me especially, the strain between Snake and Otacon left a hole in my little heart and made Snake feel even more hopeless.
I also want to talk about how Snake benefited Otacon.
Otacon begins as cowardly and timid, he's an incredibly insecure character that struggles to connect with others, probably stemming from the issues in his younger life. When he meets Snake, he's faced with someone he could relate to that has an outward appearance that makes him seem so much more confident than he is. Snake is not this, he's as insecure as Otacon. Indirectly, Snake is the whole reason Otacon gets on his feet to take action against terrorism, takes action to become a better person. Snake shows Hal that he doesn't haven't to be strong to do the right thing. Throughout time, Snake helps Otacon come to terms with his own self worth and issues.
In MGS2, it has one of my favorite examples. The infamous bro hug scene.
Before it, this is when Otacon allows himself to open up about his childhood, not even just Infront of Snake, Infront of Raiden too. This showcased such a development in his character because he's proudly talking about it, while even through tears he doesn't hide it anymore.
Did you know that during that scene if you pan the camera to Snake, you can see that he is crying too?
When Hal has a breakdown over his sister's death, Snake is there to comfort him as well as tell him how it is in bluntness with a hand on his back that he needs to save people. It isn't cold or callous, it's letting Otacon know that he has something worth fighting for after a loss like that. Then when they face one another, they embrace each other and Snake tells Hal that he believes in him. Hal spent a lot of time as a scientist, hoping for someone to believe in him, while Snake puts all of his belief into Hal.
I can never forget the iconic "You're the only god I can pray to, Otacon" line. Snake has a deep loyalty, love, and belief in Otacon that Otacon has never been truly given before.
They both, in turn love each other till the end of their lives. Their love was one of the most heart wrenching and beautiful things in Metal Gear Solid and it's no surprise it captivated so many people. Their relationship, whether you ship them or just see them as a bromance. There is no denying the love they feel for one another as friends or lovers is one of the most iconic and sweetest bromances out theres They have impacted so much pop culture and I love them forever, as I'm sure many of you do who read all the way to the bottom.
#mgs#otasune#metal gear solid#solid snake#otacon#hal emmerich#little sappy post sorry guys i love them
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Okie so we've had childe meeting scara's wife, but what about scara meeting childe's wife for the first time? If not can we hear more about the first one?
- 🍓
You are so right strawberry!! My dumbass really forgot that I could write the scenario going the other way!!
Scaramouche Meeting Childe's Wife
Yandere Childe! x reader x Yandere(?) Scaramouche
After almost a year of Childe fawning over you, the look of disinterest his coworker gave you was rather refreshing. The man, only a head shorter than Childe and obviously much more frail looking, had a scowl that could kill. You wondered how long it took to get a look that aggressive, but somehow still elegant on his delicate features.
“And this is my lovely wife!” Childe said rather excitedly and the man merely rolled his eyes.
“It's very nice to meet you,” you muttered softly, he didn't have much in the way to say back. Despite the cold of Snezhnaya he was wearing a shirt that barely went down to his elbows, shorts, and sandals. The cold of Snezhnaya wasn't normal, it felt like the air was biting you. You couldn't even leave the house without a few good layers, yet here he was walking through it with ease, “You're not dressed well for the weather.”
Another glare was shot your way, his eyes colder than the snow, “Skip the pleasantries. I'm here because I have to be. Don't pretend you want to speak with me.”
You didn't even dare look at Childe after the man spoke. He was always so quick to anger, especially when it came to you. Childe had very few loyalties in his life, one of them being the Tsaritsa, the other being you. He often told you how easily he could and would turn on anyone else if needed be, and it seemed this coworker was going to be no different.
“Number six,” you could hear that he was forcing the words through gritted teeth, “Perhaps I wasn't clear when I told you that I love my wife more than anything in this world.”
“You were clear. But perhaps I didn't care,” the man was bold, you'd give him that. And despite how rude he was being he still walked further into the home, taking off the large ornate hat he was wearing and letting you finally see how beautiful his silky, indigo hair was.
Childe followed soon after and the two of them went to talk. You could already tell that he wasn't completely friendly with this coworker, out of the many you'd met. You knew more harbingers than the average person did in a lifetime, more than you wanted to as well, but this one was the first one you'd seen be blatantly disrespectful.
But as they sat and chatted amongst themselves about missions and quite honestly, things you didn't understand, your mind still thought about how underdressed the man was. There was no way Childe would let him stay overnight, not with the way he was acting and Snezhnaya only got colder when the sun was down. You didn't want to just send him out into the elements.
“Could you bring me a spare jacket, and maybe some snow pants and boots,” you asked a maid and she was quick to drop what she was doing to scurry off and find things for you. In less than thirty minutes, everything was handed to you, neatly folded.
The meeting only lasted two hours and both Childe and his co-worker were leaving the office. You wondered if he ever got sick of scowling so much. Or if he ever even showed interest in anything at all.
Childe was walking faster than usual, probably trying to quickly get the man out of the house, but you stopped him, holding up the clothes that you'd acquired. The way both men looked at you made your heart sink to your ass, your orange haired husband had so much fury in his eyes from your kindness to the other, but didn't stop you.
“It's…it’s just cold out there,” you muttered, hoping that Childe would understand your explanation. He allowed the other man to take the clothes, a gentle smirk on his face.
Throughout the whole day, you'd never seen him with anything but his usual frown, you weren't even aware that he could smile, “Such thoughtfulness. I see why number eleven is interested in you,”
The door to the home was opened and the man ushered out. He was still holding the items you'd given him, not wearing them, but you didn't want to tell him to stop. Not while Ajax was looking at you so angrily. You didn't want to cause even more misunderstandings.
“Scaramouche,” he said while still walking out the door. You must've made a noise of confusion because he elaborated, “I'm called Scaramouche. And I'll see you soon.”
#mai<3 answers#🍓 anon#genshin#yandere genshin#genshin x reader#yandere x reader#yandere genshin impact#yandere genshin x reader#yandere x you#yandere childe#yandere childe x reader#yandere scaramouche x reader#yandere scaramouche
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simple questions
MASTERLIST
Summary: in which Harry is eager to makes his girl happy and she just wants answers to simple questions
Author’s Note: a blurb i wrote based on these Harry pics because I am NOT over it
Word Count: 2.6k words
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Her boyfriend was an idiot. That’s what Y/N resolved as she watched him stumble over his words as he was asked a simple question of, “Who’s the girl you’re with?”. It wasn’t even anyone important asking, just a fan who’d noticed Harry and felt brave enough to ask for a photo, albeit with hands that shook as she passed over her phone.
It had started as Y/N’s idea. She knew she was entirely at fault for Harry’s nerves, but it wasn’t even completely her idea. She had just asked him, “Have you ever had a public outing with a partner?”
It was an innocent question, asked due to pure curiosity, not with any ulterior motive as Harry suspected. He had given her a look, trying to get a read on her intent behind those words. He tended to do that a lot. Doubt people’s words, like they had some double meaning, and they were trying to trick him into making a fool of himself. She had a tough time getting him to trust her enough as to not doubt her as much, but the trust issues slipped through every once in a while.
Harry then stumbled over his words, the way a newborn doe might trip and fall as it clambered onto its frail legs. Simple questions were never his forte. He could answer you deep, philosophical questions and ponder them in his mind without hesitation, but it was the simple questions that tripped him up. A whole conundrum, if you asked Y/N.
Eventually, Harry admitted, “No.”
She’d stared at him with a deadpan expression, because it had taken an extraordinary amount of ‘um’s and ‘uh’, along with some weird humming sounds to get a one-word answer from him.
So she followed up with, “Don’t you wanna?”
“Do you want me to do it with you?”
“Well, no, I was just asking because-“
“I’ll do it with you,” Harry rushed to say.
Sometimes he tended to rush himself into doing favors for people he didn’t really want to do. A tendency lots of overly kind people had. And he’d always have this particular warm, soft tone when he did. And she loved that little tone that indicated he was feeling kind. But lots of times he regretted agreeing to those things and would stumble home to her apartment, grumbling and griping about whatever stupidity he’d been forced to do. So it grew into a strange mixture of adoration and disdain for that tone. Because she never liked to see her boy tired to the bone because he was too polite to back away from a promise. (Although she did love running her fingers through his soft hair until he fell asleep with his head on her lap)
This time, however, Harry wasn’t using that warm tone. It was a much different one, a bit of a higher pitch, and with a much sweeter undertone. It was a tone he used when he was trying to win the favor of his girlfriend.
She chuckled, “Baby, I didn’t ask you to-“
Harry had one arm rested on her waist and the other underneath the pillow she rested her head on. “But I wanna,” He said with a small pout, an almost whiny quality to his words. His cherry lips looked so kissable when they stuck out that way. “Wanna show the world you’re mine.” He leaned up until his nose was nuzzling her neck, and his lips brushed against her collarbone. “Mine and only mine.”
His lips clamped down on her skin, sucking at it for a moment before allowing his teeth to nibble lightly. Sharp stings followed wherever his teeth sunk in so deliciously, sending sparks throughout her whole body.
Y/N had learned early on that Harry had a very possessive side to him. He’d spent years feeling that everything he was belonged to the public, including all the dirty details of his personal life and his friends and partners. And now he had regained that privacy (he’d had to pry it by force from the unfailing grip of the media), he wanted to claim everything as his own.
It was why Harry was so fiercely protective of his friends and loyal to a fault. He felt the incessant urge to always stick by their side. He finally knew what it was like to have something belong to him, and it was his greatest fear to lose it.
After a lot of therapy, communication and compromise, Harry had not only found a healthy balance for himself but for his relationship with Y/N as well. A certain possessiveness that she wouldn’t deny him because she could never refuse anything he asked, and it was just part of who he was. But a harsh line as to not become controlling or overprotective as Harry had threatened to do in previous relationships.
The habits snuck into their daily lives, as Harry had a tendency to leave marks where everyone could see them. Therefore, the hickeys on the neck which Y/N always had to cover with concealer because she despised turtlenecks with a passion.
“Love, I’m not doubting your choice,” she began to speak, interrupted by Harry leaving open-mouthed kisses from her jugular up to the base of her jaw. And it was getting hard to think straight when his lips were on her and his tongue was tracing delightful patterns.
Y/N cleared her throat trying to focus. “However, I don’t want this to be an impulse decision. Think it through.”
Harry separated his lips from her skin long enough to murmur, “I’m sure. I wanted to make it public to everyone soon anyways, might as well go out together.” As he spoke, his warm breath grazed against her sensitive skin, causing goosebumps.
“Go out where?”
“The Man U match, obviously.”
And that was why Y/N spent the next week fussing over her choice of hairstyle, whether to leave her natural waves or straighten it or straighten it and then create strategically messy waves. And then freaking out on the phone to her best friend about whether her outfit was a good choice or not. Because of course, she had to look stylish for her first public appearance with Harry- those photos would be circulating the internet until the day she died- but she also had to dress for the unforgiving winter and plan for rain. Even if she was going to be in the VIP suite with Harry, the entrance and exit could possibly have rain, and she couldn’t always count on an umbrella. She’d learned that the five times she’d gotten stuck in the rain while waiting at a too-full bus stop in peak traffic in London.
The point was, Y/N didn’t want to let down Harry nor the fans by wearing the wrong hairstyle, clothes or makeup. Resulting in overthinking every tiny detail down to the jewelry.
The morning of, it was Harry who soothed her nerves saying, “Love, if you don’t want to do it we don’t have to. It was always a choice.”
“I want to, but it’s just…” She looked up at him with a shaky breath. “It’s scary.”
“We can wait,” Harry replied, placing her face in his hands, his thumb caressing her cheek. “We’ll stay home and watch the game on the telly, we’ll wear our sweats and I’ll order in some food from that Thai place you’ve been wanting to try.”
Taking a good look at Harry from top to bottom, from those dress pants that clung to his thighs in the most delightful manner, and the button-up that tragically hid his well-sculpted biceps to the sweater vest he’d bought the first time they’d gone shopping together. He looked so soft and warm, yet so confident and sure of himself. Like a scale that had finally found balance.
Harry had an energy that screamed youthful, but he’d recently settled into the warm feeling of peace that came not with age, but the realization that chaos wasn’t necessary to be happy. He wasn’t afraid of his career always being on the chopping block, or the precarious opinions of outsiders. He had found himself, and with it, found an inner peace he’d never had before.
And it showed. From the way he dressed, to the courage of him showing up to their hotel room with the surprise of a shaved head one day, to the way he carried himself so firmly. He was centered. He was calm. And he was happy.
This was the first time everyone else would get to see Harry after the latest stage of his self-discovery. And Y/N wouldn’t be the one to hold him back. “No, I want to go,” she said firmly. “But I want you to pick my outfit.”
To no one’s surprise, Harry picked an outfit that was primarily made up of clothing from his own closet, completely shoving aside the outfit she had previously picked out for herself because, “Babe, I have better taste than you.”
Y/N didn’t have bad taste, but when it came to fashion, she laid her trust in Harry… most of the time.
The only thing he kept were the jeans she’d picked out, a new pair she’d gotten recently which flattered her figure. They were high waisted and cropped at the ankle, the color a grayish tone of the classic denim. Most importantly, they highlighted her ass. The one thing that no matter how insecure she was, she always loved. And Harry did as well, if the way he swatted her ass playfully a couple of times a day was any indication.
He paired it with a long-sleeve white top that clung to her skin, a green sweater on top that was slightly baggy on her figure as it was one of his and one a black coat that would keep her warm. Harry was careful to make sure all the layers would keep her warm even in the winter air, as he knew she tolerated much less cold than he did.
“Cute,” Harry said with a dimpled smile when she finished putting on the outfit and gave him a twirl to showcase it. “You’re really pretty, darling.” He hooked his fingers through her belt loops and yanked her forward until she almost toppled into his chest as he sat on the edge of his bed. He gave her a soft smile, the kind he gave her right before a heartfelt message- “And ten times prettier because I chose the outfit.”
Y/N swatted his arm playfully at his joke, and he simply laughed, the corners of his eyes crinkling up. “It’s a basic outfit.”
“Aw, don’t be mean because the outfit I picked out is better than the one you did.”
“You’re such a bully.”
Harry grinned at her. “Is that so?”
She nodded in mock earnestness. “Yeah. I hate you.”
“No, you don’t,” Harry replied simply.
“No, I don’t.”
With a couple of more kisses which included wiping the lipstick from Harry’s lips, the couple got into the car and held hands as the engine started and drove them to the stadium.
“So, we’re cheering for Man U, right?”
Harry sighed heavily. “Love, do you even know me?”
“Okay, okay, I get it,” She said with a chuckle, raising her hands defensively. “Man U for football and Green Bay Packers for the other football.” She gave him an apologetic look. “Sorry baby, but I know nothing about football.”
“I’m going to be explaining all the rules, aren’t I?”
Y/N’s silence was enough of a response.
But then it was time for the most dreaded moment of the day, when they entered the stadium hand-in-hand, walking past press and media and paparazzi.
Harry laced his fingers between hers and gave her a small squeeze before opening the car door and stepping out. He was quick, making her almost jog to catch up with his long strides. He’d warned her he would move hastily as to avoid lingering around the cameras longer than necessary.
There was one quick snap and a small flash and then-
They were inside the stadium and no press could chase them in any longer.
“Wait, that was it?” Y/N asked, glancing at the door they’d just walked through as their pace slowed down.
Harry glanced at her quizzically. “Did you expect more?”
“Well, you always describe it all huge and dramatic, flashing lights and a billion cameras and a huge crowd of screaming lunatics-“
“Football matches are different,” Harry said, chuckling as he interrupted her rant.
“I got worried over that?” Y/N signaled over her shoulder, her jaw dropping. “Seriously?!”
Harry laughed. “What do you expect me to say? You’re an overthinking maniac?”
She huffed, “This is your fault.”
Harry kissed her when her lips pouted. “Love you, darling.”
“Love you too,” She grumbled as they made their way to the VIP suite.
And that’s the full story of how they’d ended up at the Man U match- which they won, thank god, because Harry would’ve teased her relentlessly for being bad luck- and with a fan asking for a photo and asking who Y/N was.
“Um, well- she- we met- me and her-“ Harry couldn’t seem to form a train of thought, so she rolled her eyes and took control of the situation.
Holding out a hand for the fan to shake, Y/N said her name and said, “I’m Harry’s girlfriend. Nice to meet you, babe.”
The fan’s jaw dropped. It was a bit hilarious, but out of sheer politeness, Y/N held back her laughter. “You are definitely hot enough. Cool. Bye.” Turning on her heel, the fan walked away.
Harry seemed in shock as Y/N laughed, turning to him, completely bewildered. “You hear that? I’m ‘hot enough’!”
Without a care in the world of the dozen of cameras probably pointed at them, Harry grasped her face in his hands and gave her a deep, loving kiss.
Y/N scanned his face, a giddy smile on her own, “What was that for?”
“For being my girlfriend,” Harry replied before pulling her back in for another kiss. So maybe she’d allow her boyfriend a celebratory kiss or two or maybe five before they had the decency to move out of sight of the cameras. And just maybe, it wasn’t their last football match together.
Two years later, Y/N and Harry would return to the very same stadium for yet another Man U match, a bit older, a lot more mature and their love stronger after growing roots for so long. The tree flourishing with branches extending to the deeper reaches of her heart, she had never felt so fulfilled. Like the world was so much lighter and easier to endure even with the extra weight of a diamond ring on her finger, and a white gold band identical to the one on Harry’s hand.
“Who’s the girl you’re with?” The fan asked, a 15-year-old girl with her hair dyed blue and a Love On Tour shirt on, her curious eyes scanning Y/N, a flicker of familiarity in them.
Harry smiled, looking his wife up and down, admiring the outfit he’d carefully chosen for her earlier that day. He inhaled deeply, and for once, he didn’t trip over his words as he replied firmly, “This is Y/N. I’m her husband.”
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Do you think he knows?
summary: you just became popular on YouTube and you just moved to LA and you were invited on one of your favorite podcasts, The Zach Sang Show. Everything was great until he brought up a little crush of yours that you gushed about that the beginning of your career, which caused you to light up in embarrassment hoping to god he never saw anything you’ve said about him.
warnings: Just fluff, mentions of drinking/ being sober
"Next topic" Zach said through the microphone. I just smiled and looked over to him as he looked down at the sheet in front of him.
My friend, Sarah and I had been growing rapidly on youtube and our podcast that we had. We made vlogs and just filmed some funny moment that happened throughout our lives, and people actually tuned in and listened. Which shocked me. 20K viewers turned in 100K viewers and we were now sitting at almost a million subscribers on youtube and an average of 800K-1M views per video.
We had just offically moved to LA a month ago and were still settling into everything. It was all very exciting and this was the first time were appearing on someone else's podcast and I was nervous to say the least. When we were first invited on the podcast, The Zach Sang Show, of all places, I debated on going or not, but ultimately we decided it would be best to further our career. So here we were, sitting here doing someone else's podcast.
The first few questions were easy. Just basically talking about the come up of our career, how we got here, how we met, etc. I felt better having Sarah here by my side, I didn't know what I would do if all of the attention on me. I was just happy not too many personal questions were asked so far.
"Chris Sturniolo" Zach said directing his attention to me. I took in a breath, attempting not to show on my face the embarrassment that began to arise.
I was so excited when we first started blowing up. I never really thought we would go anywhere, just making silly little videos to look back on, so that persuaded me to say whatever came to mind. Including my huge crush on Christopher Sturniolo. In our earlier videos, I would go on and on about how attractive I thought he was. How funny I thought he was. How I would marry that man in a heartbeat.
This caused many of the Sturniolo triplet fans to be directed towards our videos. Clips of me gushing over new instagram posts of him, going viral on TikTok. The comments being filled with their fan base saying things like, "She gets it" or "Me too girl".
Once we started to blow up even more I started to calm down my obsessive tendencies. I knew that since our faces were starting to pop up around more and more, I would die of embarrassment if Chris came across any of those clips. I wasn't stalker-obsessed. I'd seen a few of their videos, seen a few clips on TikTok, which like many other girls across the globe made me start taking an interest in Chris.
I didn't know everything that's ever happened in his life or anything. I just saw his face, seen him say some funny shit, and was like "Yep love of my life" and that was it. Kind of like people's crushes on Liam Hemsworth and Jacob Elordi. It didn't go far past seeing funny or attractive clips of them.
To this day, I still didn't know if Chris had seen anything i've said about him and honestly I really didn't want to know.
Sarah looked over at me, raising her eyebrow a smile on her face. I shook my head and looked down, feeling my face start to burn up.
"You've been pretty open with your past relationship history in your videos, which is why many of your fans love you guys. For your open and honest thoughts" He said looking down at the sheet in front of him.
"y/n, you've never actually been in a relationship before?" He asked looking at me. I sighed and nodded. "I've been in positions of potential relationships before, but they all treated me like shit. So i've just kinda voided the whole thing off. I don't think it's ever gonna happen for me. I've definitely been hurt enough in the past to where I'm not even looking to be in one" I said honestly nodded. Zach nodded smiling.
"You know we just had Chris on the show" he said. I sighed looking down smiling and shaking my head. "He had an answer very similar to yours" he stated. I looked over at Sarah who was smiling and biting the straw on her drink.
"Look" I breathed into the mic. "Chris is a very attrative young male, but I don't know anything about him really. He could be in a relationship for all I know. I'm not into stepping on anybody's toes" I laughed awkardly looking at him. He nodded looking down.
"You've mentioned in some of your past videos that you thought he was the most attractive man to walk the planet" Zach said making Sarah bust out laughing and push the mirophone out of the way. I hit her in the shoulder and shook my head.
Zach raised his eyebrows and looked at me. I avoided his eye contact attempting to wipe the smile across my face. "Do you still think that?" Zach asked looking at me. I pursed my lips. I took a deep breath as I leaned into the mic.
"Okay, I know I was a little obessive there for a minute, but I swear it wasn't in a creepy way. I just saw a cute guy popping up on my feed and was like "oh heyy"" I laughed into the mic.
"I don't even really know the guy that well" I shook my head. Zach smiled raising his eyebrows. "Are you sure? You’re blushing a little bit over there" He laughed. I shook my head smiling.
"Hello? Have you seen the guy? I still stand behind everything I've said. I just don't want to get attack by the fan base, I'm honestly scared of them. I really haven't seen that many of their videos" I said shaking my head.
"She plays their videos to fall asleep at night" Sarah said leaning into the mic. I glared over at her smiling. "She's lying!" I said shaking my head. "I'm kidding" Sarah laughed shaking her head. I was now blood red.
"Have you met him yet in person? I know you guys work with the same merch company" Zach stated. I smiled and nodded. "Wow you really did your research" I laughed. "That's my job" he said smiling. I shook my head.
"No, I haven't met him in person and If i'm being completely honest I think I'd run and hide. My 17 year old self had no filter" I laughed shaking my head.
"So what makes you feel an attraction to Chris rather than Matt per say?” Zach smiled and leaned back in his chair. I sighed. "I feel like from what I've seen Matt and I are very similar in the fact with dealing with mental health shit and kind of letting everyone else talk and being shy" I said looking at him.
"So I feel like Chris is like a breath of fresh air of not seeing myself in him. I wouldn't really want to be with someone exactly like me" I stated.
"Not that I think Matt isn't attractive or a great person, oh god i'm so scared of their fanbase" I shook my head quickly. Zach laughed. "In full honesty Nick is my favorite" I laughed. "But I don't know, In a weird way I feel like them being sober and me being sober and everything, It would just be nice to have someone like that especially in the LA scene where I feel like everyone is the same" I sighed. He nodded.
"So this is y/n’s offical application to be Chris Sturniolo's girlfriend" Sarah said into the mic. My eyes went wide and I pushed her. "It is not!" My face went red. Zach laughed.
"But yeah they are all attrative, clearly" I said holding out my hands and looking around. "But I think they are like genuine people, which is hard to find" I sighed. They nodded. "I agree" Sarah said into the mic, I nodding looking over at her and smiling.
"If you could go back and delete some of those clips of what you said about him, would you?" He asked looking at me. I took a deep breath before leaning into the mic.
"No, I wouldn't. As fucking insane as I sounded--" I laughed. "That's one of the main things that made us blow up, being relatable and such. Plus it made alot of his fan base find us, and I wouldn't give that up just to save myself future embarrassment. I also meant everything I said, I was young growing up--but it didn't mean I didn't feel the things I was saying. I think it's kind of sweet looking back and seeing those clips and seeing the emotions of it all. It reminds me of when I would obessive over bands and stuff when I was a kid" I smiled nodding.
Zach nodded smiling. "That's a sweet way of looking at it" he smiled. I shook my head laughing.
"Okay, now bring out Chris Sturniolo!" He yelled holding out his arm towards the door. My eyes went wide and I screamed covering my face with my hands, making Sarah and Zach laugh.
"I'm kidding. I'm kidding" He said into the mic. I looked up feeling my face heat up. "Zach, we're not friends anymore" I bit back a smile shaking my head, making him laugh.
"Next topic, please" I said shaking the smile off my face.
-
"How do I look?" Sarah asked running her fingers through her hair. I smiled at her. "Good, really good" I said looking her. She smiled letting out a breath. She looked over at me looking her up and down.
The Zach Sang episode went out last week, and low and behold the clip of me talking about Chris went viral. Out of everything I talked about, that's the one topic that gets millions of views. It helped out our fan base quite a lot actually, we gained almost 100K after that video posted, so I couldn't be that mad. I just could never look Chris Sturniolo in the eye and I was okay with that.
"You're not nervous at all?" She asked looking at me. I shrugged and then shook my head. "They are just people Sarah, just like us" I laughed as she nodded and took a deep breath.
It was our first ever influencer party ever. Familiar faces i've seen online crowded the room. It was weird seeing people I used to fan girl over in the same room as me, even speaking to me. It was something I never even imagined myself doing. But here we were.
I wasn't nervous it was weird. Maybe it was because we had just as many followers as some of the people around us.
"Did you see Vinnie Hacker was over there?" She gushed before closing her eyes and covering her mouth in excitement. I shook my head looking at her. "Calm down, this isn't a meet and greet. We're here to make connects so calm down" I said through gritted teeth. She took in a deep breath before nodding and smiling.
"Okay, Okay I'm calm" She nodded looking at me. I raised my eyebrows. "I am--I am look" She said pinching her fingers and taking in a slow breath and letting it out. I smiled and shook her as she attempted to mediatate in front of me.
She opened her eyes before they trailed behind me and she froze. I just looked at her. "What?" I asked. She stood frozen, staring behind me. "Did you see lil huddy or something?" I chuckled, but she didn't smile. "Sarah what?" I asked again looking at her. She glanced down at me, dropping her arms.
"The triplets are here" She said quietly. I felt all the blood leave my face. "What?" I asked quickly looking at her. She glanced behind me before quickly looking down at her feet. "Fuck, Fuck, Fuck" she said quickly placing her hands against her face. My heart started to beat out of my chest.
"Sarah what?" I whispered quickly. "We made eye contact, they are walking over here" She said looking up at me. My mouth dropped at I stared at her in disbelief. "What? No--Are-Are you sure--" I whispered looking at her. She lifted her head, before a smile came her face.
"Shut up, shut up" She whispered quickly under her breath as she raised her eyebrows, her attention turning to the people walking up to us. I stared at her, my eyes wide and anxiety filling my whole body.
"Hey"
I heard a male's voice say. I reluctantly looked up to see Nick staring down at her. I smiled up at him, slightly star struck from standing this close to him. I glanced over and saw Matt standing next to him and Chris standing next to Matt, all looking at me.
This was my worst nightmare.
"Y/n and Sarah right?" Nick smiling pointing between us. I took in a breath looking over at Sarah with wide eyes, she wore the same expression. Unfortunately. I wanted to say.
"Yeah" I nodded smiling. "I'm Nick" He said holding out his hand for me to shake. I looked down at his hand. Maybe he's being humble. I obviously knew who they were. I took his hand anyway shaking it, before he extended his hand to Sarah, who shook it smiling.
"This is Matt and Chris, my brothers" He said motioning to them. I looked over at Matt who smiled nodding at me, and then to Chris who smiled slightly. I swallowed looking down at my feet. Oh my god.
"We love your videos" Nick said making me snap my head up. I looked at him furrowing my eyebrows. He just looked at me. "Like--" I said looking over at Sarah who was just looking at me.
"Like our videos?" I asked motioning between me and Sarah. Nick laughed. "Yeah, we watch you guys like every week" He breathed. I just stared at him, my mouth slightly parted trying to figure out is he was serious or not.
"Like actually?" Sarah asked looking over at Nick. "You guys are funny as fuck" Matt said chuckling. "We live for the shit talking saturdays podcast" Matt said looking over at me. I smiled closing my eyes.
"You guys--" I said looking between them, trying so hard to not keep eye contact with Chris. "Are the funniest people i think i've ever seen" I chuckled looking at them. They all smiled.
"Thank you we appreciate that" Nick said looking up at me. I glanced over at Chris, who has yet to say a word, to see him just looking at me. I glanced away from him quickly looking back at Nick.
"I know that we have a lot of them same fan base--" Nick said looking between us. "Would you guys maybe want to colab sometime?" He asked raising his eyebrows looking at us. I looked over at Sarah who looked at me, attempting to send me messages through her eyes, before shrugging. I looked back at them.
"It doesn't have to be for a whole pod episode, I know you guys just did that--" Matt started to say, making me close my eyes and scrunch my nose. Fuck. I took a breath, reopening my eyes. It's fine. It's fine. You're fine.
"It could just be like a regular video, I know our fans would love to see it" Matt explained looking between us. I took in a breath and looked over at Sarah, who shrugged and nodded. I looked back at them, my cheeks slightly red.
"Yeah, we'd love that" I nodded. Nick smiled at me. "Great, can I get one of your numbers?" He asked looking between us. I nodded before pulling out my phone and handing it to Nick. Nick looked down at the phone, making silence come between the rest of us.
I just looked down at my feet.
"I like your shoes"
When I heard his voice my eyes shot up. Chris was looking at me. I looked down at my shoes and then back at him. "Mine?" I asked. He chuckled and nodded. My face lit up in what felt like flames.
"Oh! Thanks. I actuatly just got these--They were like super expensive for like no reason, they are just like tan shoes like why are they so fucking---" I stopped myself biting my lip. Fuck, I'm word vomiting. I paused looking at him and he was staring back at me waiting for me to finish.
"Expensive" I breathed looking at him. He smiled and nodded. "They're sick" He said glancing back down at my shoes. I smiled and looked away from him, just in time for Nick to hand me back my phone.
"Just text me whenever you're free" He smiled before walking past us, watching Matt and Chris following along after him. I let out a breath.
I looked over at Sarah.
"He definitely saw it" I groaned closing my eyes. Sarah looked over at me. "He definitely saw it" She nodded looking over at me. I looked over at her. "How embarrassing was I?" I sighed rubbing my hands over my hands. Sarah shook her head looking at me.
"No, no you weren't I promise" She said looking down at me. I cringed looking up at her. "Maybe a little red--" She squinted. I sighed and looked down. "But definitely not embarrassing" She said putting her hand on my shoulder.
I looked over to see the triplets moved across the room, just in time to see Chris look back at me. I turned away and grabbed Sarah's arm. "That's enough embarrassment for one night" I mumbled as I dragged her away.
-
"I'm gonna go talk to Vinnie" Sarah smiled up at me. I rolled my eyes. "Sarah, you've had too many drinks. You're gonna embarrass yourself" I chuckled pushing her drink down. She rolled her eyes.
"Liquid confidence" She cheered before moving past me. "Sarah" I said looking at her as she smiled and winked at me and made her way across the room. I sighed once she finally made her way over to him and he looked down at her.
Sometimes I wondered how it was so easy for her. To just go up and talk to guys. Sure I was confident online with my podcast and everything, but when it came to real life situations--I wasn't the one talking first or being the loudest one in the group.
This resulted in Sarah having multiple flings with people, pulling guys wherever she went and me being the girl who just creppily talks about a triplet and runs away from him. God.
"Hey"
I glanced away from the interaction from Vinnie and Sarah and looked up to see the same blue eyes I was just thinking about staring down at me. I turned slightly to see if anyone else was around me that he could possibly be talking to, but when I saw no one I turned back to look at him. He smiled and shook his head at me.
"Hi" I breathed looking at him. Chris. glanced down at my cup. "What you sippin on?" He asked. I looked down at the cup in my hand and then back up to him. "Oh! It's like this herbal-tea thing. It's suppose to help calm you down, but not in like a drug related way---Like in a herbal tea way--" I chuckled slightly.
"But it's really not that good, if i'm being honest i'm having to choke it down, because it is not working--" I said shaking my head looking back up at him, a smile just on his face.
"Not! That i'm super nervous or anything, I just--It's my first influencer party and I don't really know anyone except for Sarah--Who is--" I said looking over and seeing her lips attached to Vinnie's. I scrunched my nose and looked back at Chris who was also taking in the sight himself.
"Sucking on Vinnie Hacker's face currently" I chuckled slightly looking back at him. He chuckled and nodded. "But don't mind her, she's not normally like this. She's just drunk and nervous which is why she's making out with a famous twitch streamer" I shook my head. He just nodded smiling at me.
"Not--that i'm judging her for drinking or anything. That's totally okay with me--It's just not for me, you get what i'm saying? Sometime I like being the DD, but only if it means no one is puking in my car. But she never usually gets to that point, I also love how she doesn't judge me for not drinking even though we're in LA, because sometimes peer pressure is just like---" I said looking around and then meeting his eyes again, pausing as he looked down at me. I sighed closing my eyes.
"I'm....talking a a lot aren't I?" I asked opening my eyes looking at him. How could I possibly have gone on a tangent this long from the simple question: What are you drinking? God If I could crawl into a hole right now, I would.
He chuckled and shook his head. "No you're fine" He smiled looking down at me. I took a breath and looked down, feeling my face betray me and light up. "I'm sober too, I think it's cool that you're sober" He said pointing at my drink.
"Think i'd rather be drinking alcohol than whatever herbal ass this is" I joked looking down at my drink, my hand slightly shaking. He laughed. He laughed, making me look up at him and take a real breath. He shrugged.
"Yeah maybe sounds really gross" He breathed looking down at me. I took a breath as we stared at each other. Not believing that we were genuinely speaking right now.
"I saw that you said you were working on a jewelry brand" He stated looking down at me. "That's really fucking cool" He smiled looking at me. I smiled and nodded.
"I'm really excited about it. T-shirt and sweatshirts are whatever, but like making a genuine brand that people who aren't a fan of my content can wear is really cool" I said looking at him. He nodded.
"Yeah I think it's pretty cool that you can decifer yourself and what you want to do, from Sarah's. I feel like I kind of a hard time doing things without my brothers" He stated looking down at me, like I was a normal person and we were having a normal converstaion.
"Yeah well, I feel like before all this social media stuff, Sarah was kind of the one who made all the plans, was always invited somewhere, always had more friends. Mainly because she was more outgoing than me--" I said glancing over at her, still kissing Vinnie. I looked up at Chris who was watching them.
"Clearly" I chuckled and he chuckled and nodded. "And also with the fact that she drank and I didn't" I sighed. "I guess they just felt awkward inviting me to places where there would be drinks, like I was allergic to it or something" I said shaking my head. He nodded, like he was understanding what I was saying.
"I would never say this to her, but taking the step to doing something by myself that I feel people would love is like the biggest deal to me ever. Especially since I feel like when people look at the two of us, they usually like her more" I sighed. Chris nodded and his eyes didn't leave mine as I spoke, like he was really listening.
"Which I guess it's not her fault, but it's how I feel" I shrugged. He let out a breath and glanced over at Sarah who had finally come up for air. "Sarah's cool" He stated. I looked up at him nodding. He glanced back down at me.
"But she's not as funny as you" He whispered slightly leaning down, making me start to shake slightly. I chuckled and shook my head. He leaned up and smiled down at me. We just looked down at me for a second.
"Sorry I'm not really good at this" I said looking at him, he furrowed his eyebrows. "What do you mean?" He asked crossing his hands over his chest. I tilted my head and narrowed my eyes at him.
"I don't know this?" I asked shaking my head. He smiled and licked his lips. "What flirting with me?" He asked looking down at me, making my eyes go wide. He raised his eyebrows and smiled. I scoffed, feeling my face go red.
"I am not flirting with you" I said attempting to bite back my smile as he looked at me. He shrugged and looked down at me. I sighed looking down and swallowing my pride.
"You've seen the clips haven't you?" I asked scrunching my face and looking up at him. He smiled and shrugged. "Maybe a few" He laughed lightly. I swallowed shaking my head, suddenly regretting everything i've ever said. I groaned placing my hands over my face.
"Oh god" I said looking up at him. He shook his head. "No, don't be embarrassed. I think it's flattering" He chuckled. I shook my head. "No Chris, it is embarrassing" I laughed off the awkwardness of this conversation.
"I think it's cute you think my eyes are bluer than the ocean" He chuckled. I shook my head holding up my hands. "Stop stop" My face just got redder by the second. He laughed and stepped towards me grabbing my hand that was in the air. I looked down at our hands and saw him looking down at me.
"Maybe you weren't flirting with me, but maybe I wanted to flirt with you" He stated running his thumb over my hand and then letting it fall. I glanced up and blinked at him, as he looked down at me. Was I dreaming? Was this real life? I didn't believe the words falling out of his mouth.
"What?" I whispered. He took in a breath sighing and looking to the side. "My brothers would never shut up about the things you've said about me, reminding me almost everyday--" He started looking back down at me. I didn't speak I just looked at him.
"and maybe I mentioned that I thought you were cute" He smiled down at me. My mouth parted. Dreaming, definitely dreaming. "And ever since I said that, they haven't shut up about getting us to meet each other--Since they love your videos so much" He said quietly looking down at me.
"They love?" I asked smiling up at him. He sighed rolling his eyes. "We love" He stated smiling. I blushed and shook my head. "Sorry" I whispers running my hands over my cheeks that were out of control. He shook his head, his eyes not breaking mine.
"No it's okay" he smiled. I smiled up at him. "So...you think you'll do a video with us?" He asked quietly. I took in a breath. "i'll have to check my schedule" I teased looking at him. He licked his lips and nodded.
"You think you have time in your schedule for a date?" He asked smiling. My smile dropped as I looked at him, seeing if he was serious. He raised his eyebrows looking at me.
"Like actually?" I whispered looking at him. He smiled and nodded. "Dinner? My place?" He asked looking at me. I opened my mouth and then closed it just staring at him.
"Are you seeing someone?" He asked due to my silence. I shook my head quickly. "No" I stated. He furrowed his eyebrows. "Will you go out with me then?" He chuckled. I took in a breath before smiling, getting ready to respond but I was too nervous so I turned to the side.
I glanced over seeing Sarah leaning against Vinnie's shoulder, groaning with her eyes closed. I sat up straighter.
"Shit" I breathed. I looked back at Chris. "I'm sorry I have--" I said looking at him. He shook his head stepping back. "No go, you're fine" He said shaking his head. I took in breath stepping away from him and starting towards Sarah, but I paused turning back around to meet Chris's eyes again.
"Dinner. Your place. Saturday night work?" I breathed smiling. He started to smile. "Y-Yeah that's perfect" He nodded. I smiled before leaning up and kissing his cheek and then leaning back seeing I was no longer the one who was red in the face.
"You're sweet" I whispered. He just smiled at me, before I turned and headed off towards Sarah.
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#christopher sturniolo#matt sturniolo#sturniolo smut#sturniolo fanfic#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo
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does ikalgo have deeper significance to killua's character? i get that hes like a new friend for killua but why does it feel like he was portrayed so importantly to killua's character during caa? its like theres a deeper meaning, why did killua go out his way just to save ikalgo from those two chimera ants when they entered the building? and why did he look so hesitant? he had thoughts that said "what am i doing..? why the hell am i going the opposite direction?" or something like that. idk it just feels like togashi was implying something abt killua there but i cant figure out what that is. do u have an idea?
Hello! This is a great question!
Ikalgo's friendship with Killua is vital both to Killua's development and also to Chimera Ant arc as a whole! I can explain that significance.
Throughout much of the series, Killua tags along with Gon and primarily focuses on him. He befriends other people, certainly, but he generally does this through Gon--it's not like he's going out of his way to make these friends on his own.
In Chimera Ant Arc, the connection between Gon and Killua gets somewhat disrupted by the events that happen, and Gon's focus shifts primarily to saving Kite and his revenge on Pitou, leaving Killua to worry and feel somewhat left behind and helpless (partly as a result of the the Palm situation as well).
When Killua splits off from Gon to try and save civilians, he meets and a battles an enemy at the time, Ikalgo.
During their fight, Killua gives Ikalgo a choice: Either sell out his friends by revealing their nen powers, or die. Ikalgo chooses to die rather than betraying his friends, and Killua is able to relate to this loyalty. He spare's Ikalgo's life and tells Ikalgo that if they'd met another way, maybe they could have been friends.
Killua's kindness in empathizing with Ikalgo and sparing him is the only thing that saves his life later when he's bleeding out from the needlefish darts. Had Killua not extended that mercy and said those kind words to Ikalgo, Ikalgo would not have saved him, and he would have died.
It's interesting/neat how the scene right after Ikalgo saving Killua from the needlefish involves Gon having his own encounter with another friendly Chimera Ant, and the tone of their conversation is quite a bit different:
Contrast is so important in Chimera Ant Arc!
Anyway, when Killua shows Ikalgo mercy, makes it clear that they're friends now, and invites him to come along and be part of the human side of the war, he essentially becomes to Ikalgo what Gon has been to him: Someone who represents light, and who represents a path forward to a better life. In this arc, Killua worries that he doesn't deserve a place at Gon's side, but at the same time here he extends the same kind of light and hope that Gon gave him to someone else.
As for the scene where Killua breaks off away from Gon in the Palace Invasion in order to protect Ikalgo, this continues to show Killua's world expanding outside of Gon. Notice how in this page, it clearly shows Killua leaving Gon behind--they have their backs to each other, which is a frequent image in this arc. His mission was to protect Gon and make sure Gon could complete his revenge against Pitou, so deviating from that mission is both shocking to him, and potentially dangerous, but it shows that he's starting to protect and care for others as well as Gon.
Now, I want to be clear that I see this as a positive step for Killua. At this point in the series, Killua had made Gon his entire reason for living, essentially, and him going outside of that and making other friends and protecting and caring about them is a vital step for his character. It's showing that he's becoming a more expansive, mature person who can care for multiple people (or ants) at once rather than centering his entire existence and sense of self around one person. He made this action as quickly and efficiently as possible so he could get back to Gon's side, but he did go out of his way and leave Gon behind momentarily, and even he is surprised by this.
And while obviously I adore his nearly single-minded love and devotion for Gon, with what happens between them in this arc he needs to have others in his life besides Gon, and it's part of his transition into also being the light for Alluka and Nanika. It's a result of Killua's own innate kindness and empathy and the choice he made to leave his previous life behind, but also, he was able to reach this point partly because Gon showed him the love and encouragement he needed to become the person he is.
Now, as for Ikalgo's role in the arc as a whole: He's part of a chain of kindness and mercy that ends up changing the entire outcome of the Chimera Ant arc. This post puts it incredibly well. The chain of kindness started at the beginning of the series, with Gon befriending and rescuing Killua in spite of his background, which then eventually leads to Killua sparing Ikalgo (who then saves Killua right back), and then Ikalgo sparing Welfin, and then Welfin giving Meruem Komugi's name so that they got to be together in the end. Ikalgo shows the consequences of Killua's kindness, which are also the consequences of Gon's kindness, in part.
A major theme of the series and of Chimera Ant arc is that love and kindness are transformative, and Ikalgo has such an important role in demonstrating that theme.
#hxh#hunter x hunter#ikalgo#killua#gon#welfin#chimera ant arc#killugon#gonkillu#meta#long post#anonymous#my posts
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A Little Bit of Texas Fun | Chapter One: Late Night Rides
authors note: this is something that's been in the works for quite a while now and i'm so excited to finally get it started!!
series summary: The night of your wedding, you sneak off with your new husband’s best friend. What was supposed to be a one time thing ends up being a two time thing, to a three time thing, to a once every week sort of thing. When you thought you had mastered keeping everything a secret, your husband finds the pregnancy tests.
series warnings/tags: pregnancy, no use of y/n, infidelity, husband’s best friend, no outbreak au, age gap (Joel is 36 and reader is around 25)
chapter summary: Your wedding night, which is supposed to be the best night of your life, ends up being your worst. Joel Miller finds a way to fix that.
chapter warnings/tags: 18+ only, no use of y/n, infidelity, very traditional wedding, mentions of drinking and alcohol, misogynistic comments, nicknames (sweetheart, darling, baby), truck sex, unprotected piv, slight breeding kink
word count: 7.3k
┉┉┉
This was a moment you had dreamed of ever since you were a little girl. You would watch movies and read stories of women getting married to the love of their lives and having the perfect wedding. It was supposed to be a magical day that would always hold a special place in your heart. You were hoping that you would get the same kind of happy fairytale on your wedding day.
You had spent months preparing this wedding for you and your fiance. You worked your ass off, making sure that everything was perfect. And for the most part, it was. Your dress was gorgeous, your hair was beautifully styled, the decorations were up to par with your expectations, everyone you had hired showed, and your entire family was there. Everything was falling into place. Everything would have been perfect, only if your fiance was about half as interested in the whole thing as you were. It was infuriating, but this was supposed to be a day about happiness and love. You weren’t going to let anything ruin it for you.
Now, standing at the altar, you stood face to face with your fiance, Daniel, who was about to be your husband in only moments to come. You could feel your nerves start to act up, but you couldn’t necessarily pinpoint the reason for them doing so. Your palms were sweaty, and your face felt hot. You brushed it off, thinking that it was just normal wedding nerves. After all, you weren’t going to be a single woman anymore. You were about to commit yourself to Daniel. Everybody gets at least a little nervous on their wedding night. You were sure of it. It wasn’t like this was something out of the ordinary.
Throughout the entirety of your vows, you found it hard to look at Daniel right in the eyes. You couldn’t express why that was the case, but you went back to blaming it all on your nerves.
“Do you, Daniel, take this woman in front of you to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, to love and cherish her in sickness and in health, until death do you part?” The priest standing in the center of the altar spoke, directing his eyes to Daniel.
Daniel stared at you with a smirk, but the gentleness and love that you usually see in a groom in the movies were absent in his eyes. “I do.”
The priest then moved his attention over to you, going over the same old same old, repeating everything he had said to Daniel but to you instead.
You were barely paying attention to the words as you stared at Daniel. Your heart was pounding, and you felt like a nervous wreck. You didn’t understand how he was so calm and collected, but you envied that. You hesitated slightly and took a deep breath, preparing yourself to make the commitment as you looked around. As you did so, you caught the eyes of the best man who was just standing feet from Daniel.
Joel Miller was a great friend of yours personally, but he was Daniel’s best friend. You had met him when you first began dating Daniel. He was Daniel’s best buddy when they were growing up and had been a part of his life ever since they were kids. Daniel was always going on about some crazy shit that he and Joel would get into back when they were in high school. And with the two of them being so close, it was no surprise that Joel became a big part of your life, too.
Whenever you and Daniel had an argument that seemed pointless now but was near relationship ending back then, Joel was always there to help you through it. He always told you everything that you wanted to hear.
Joel held a special place in your heart, for sure. Maybe a bigger place was reserved for him than you’d like to admit.
But for somebody who was his best friend’s girlfriend, he was always there for you. He made sure that he was just as much your friend as he was Daniels.
Your eyes locked for a short moment with Joel’s before you tore them away quickly, looking back over at Daniel with a smile that you couldn’t tell was genuine or forced. “I do,” you whispered out, your voice more breathy than you intended it to be. It seemed only quiet enough for Daniel and the priest to hear. Not even the people in the first row were able to hear you.
The priest gave you both a kind smile filled with hope and fulfillment. It almost seemed like he was more excited to be here than you on your own wedding day. You cursed yourself for thinking in such a way. This was the night of your wedding, you should be overjoyed.
But you weren’t. Not even in the slightest.
You have heard numerous stories of getting cold feet on your wedding night, and so you assumed that was what was going on when you first started having second thoughts. It was normal, you thought. Everybody gets nervous on the night of their wedding, and that’s all it was—just your nerves getting the best of you.
You had hoped that all that would disappear when you met him at the altar. But the feeling never went away. You still had that dreadful feeling in your gut that made you feel like you were going to throw up. It was the biggest lump in your throat.
Saying ‘I Do’ at the altar has been a dream of yours since you were a little girl. So you couldn’t understand for the life of you why you weren’t more excited to be standing in front of your now husband, the love of your life, on the most important night of your life.
The rest of the priest’s words were a blur to you. You were too lost in your thoughts to pay attention to any of it. The next thing you knew, Daniel’s lips crashed into yours as his arms hugged you to his body while your friends and family clapped and cheered for you.
You quickly brought yourself back into reality and closed your eyes, returning the kiss. You were officially married. There wasn’t anything you could do about those restless nerves now.
You slowly opened your eyes while Daniel’s lips were still on yours in a passionate kiss, and through your squinted eyes, you could see Joel, his best man, standing right beside him, clapping for the two of you. And there it was again, that terrible, massive lump in your throat.
┉┉┉
You take a rather large sip of champagne as you look around. You see your friends getting drunk and partying on the dance floor, having the time of their lives. At least they seemed to be enjoying your wedding more than you were. With another large swig of champagne, you take a deep breath in hopes that it will soothe your nerves.
You were never a huge fan of crowds, so you assumed that could be a possibility for your anxious behaviors tonight and that when you went back to the hotel room with Daniel, the reality of you two being married would hit and you would be in complete euphoria.
You could hear your mother try to start a conversation with you beside you, but you couldn’t hear a word she said. Swirling the champagne left in your glass, you caught the eye of your newly found husband in the crowd. He was holding a glass of amber liquor in hand, chatting it up with his close buddies. But Joel was nowhere in sight in that little group.
You’ve lost count of how many little glasses of whiskey your newly-found husband has drunk. After the third one you didn’t bother to keep count anymore. You didn’t need to keep track to know that he was absolutely wasted. Looks like you won’t be getting that relaxing cool down in the hotel room with him later tonight. But instead having to deal with a drunk husband who can barely stand up on his own two feet.
It wasn’t your first time seeing Daniel drunk, but it still annoyed you just as much as when you first saw him so intoxicated. He wasn’t a violent drunk or an aggressive one, either. But he irritated the hell out of you whenever he had one too many drinks. He was loud, obnoxious, made jokes that weren’t even close to being funny just to make him look cool around his friends and make you look like a complete idiot. You couldn’t stand it. And you were hopeful that he wouldn’t get so drunk on your wedding night. But while you were disappointed that he was already drinking so much when the night was still young, you couldn’t say you were surprised.
You thought you were doing the right thing by staying away from him for the time being, trying not to get pulled in as the butt of the joke along with him and his friends. You didn’t want to be put in a shitty mood by his shitty and, quite frankly, misogynistic jokes. It was your wedding night, and you couldn’t deal with that at any moment during what was supposed to be a special night not only for you, but for both of you. Clearly, one nice night was too much for you to ask of him.
However, with how drunk he was and how loud he tended to get during these times, you could practically hear him from the other side of the room. And while there was chattering and laughter from all around you from the other desks, his voice and obnoxious howls of laughter were all you could tune into.
“Can’t believe I have myself tied down to one woman for the rest of my life. One pussy for the rest of my life, goddamn, can you imagine?” He yapped loudly with a laugh, followed by a chug of his whiskey.
The comment made your stomach turn up into knots. It felt like a blunt knife straight to the heart. Although his little comment hurt, it wasn’t something you weren’t used to. You’ve heard him slip comments occasionally, but you always took it on yourself to ignore them, trying not to look into it too much. You loved him. You didn’t want a couple of stupid comments ruining a relationship that took years for you to build up with him.
“You looked stunning up there, baby doll.” Your mother’s voice chimed in beside you. She had a glass of champagne in her hand as well. Except hers was freshly poured, and you only had less than a sip left.
“Oh, thank you.” You smiled at her. You weren’t in the mood to talk to anyone, even your own mother, but you still wanted to accept her compliment. You didn’t want to seem rude in any way, even though your glum mood was telling you otherwise. You were supposed to be happy and ecstatic on your wedding day, and you didn’t want your mother to know that you were feeling the complete opposite.
But she was your mother. She was the one who raised you for the past 25 years of your life. She could read you like the back of her own hand. She could sense when something was wrong with her daughter.
However, she decided to keep her thoughts hushed. She didn’t want to pry, not tonight at least. Instead, she gave you a reassuring smile and a rub on your arm. And with a whisper, she gave your hand a loving squeeze, “I’m proud of you.”
┉┉┉
Joel’s eyes scanned the wedding venue with an old-fashioned in hand, taking sips here and there. He was there with Daniel and a few other of his friends. Despite them being deep in conversation and full of laughs, Joel was in a world of his own, deep in thought while people-watching around him.
He wasn’t really the biggest fan of weddings and would much rather be back at his home with Sarah and Tommy, watching whatever movie Sarah wanted to watch that night.
But, he was a friend of Daniels and a friend of yours. He was there to support you two coming together in marriage. However, he definitely had a social battery when it came to Daniel.
There were times when he could only be with him for so long until he got too much to be around. And he could feel that he was currently in one of those moments.
It had already been a long night, and he could feel a headache creeping on. He was already looking forward to returning home and passing right out into his bed.
Joel rolled his eyes as he listened to Daniel and the others make little comments here and there about you and marriage in general, ones that didn’t necessarily sit right with him. He tried his best to ignore them and took a sip of his old-fashioned, a larger one this time, while scanning the venue again.
As he did so, he caught sight of you, standing there with a nearly empty glass of champagne. He couldn’t deny that you looked gorgeous in your white dress, falling down right by your feet. He chuckled quietly to himself, knowing that his young daughter would describe you as a “real-life princess” if she were to see you.
You looked over at Joel when you felt a pair of eyes on you and gave him a small smile, one in which he kindly returned. With that simple exchange, you went back to talking with your mother, and he went back to trying to talk to Daniel about something different.
It wasn’t until a few minutes later that Joel looked around once more. This time, he noticed that your mother was left standing talking to somebody. Somebody other than you. He furrowed his eyebrows slightly and looked around a little more, keeping an eye out for you.
But you were nowhere to be found. It was as though you disappeared.
With a sigh, Joel set down his glass and looked over at his small group of friends. “I’ll be right back.”
┉┉┉
You took a deep, shaky breath, hoping that the fresh night air would help you clear your mind. You needed a moment outside of the venue, away from Daniel, your family, and people where you had to pretend that you were so happy and so head over heels.
You sat alone on a bench outside, ignoring the stares you would get from people crossing your path here and there. You just wanted to take the moment to be by yourself and attempt to clear your thoughts.
However, your short moment of silence didn’t last too long when you heard a voice come from right next to you.
“Needed some fresh air too?”
It was Joel.
You looked up, pushing your hair out of your face to make eye contact with him. You let out a quiet, half-assed chuckle and shook your head, your hair falling back into your face despite your previous attempts.
“Yeah, I guess you could say that.” You finished the sentence off with a deep breath.
Joel chuckled quietly along with you before sitting down on the park bench with you. You noticed that he sat closer to you than usual, but you weren’t in a place to bother to care. You were too tired and drained from all the wedding excitement and an obnoxiously loud Daniel to care. All you wanted to do was go home, even though this was supposed to be your wedding. You were the bride. You were supposed to be the center of attention, Yet all you wanted to do was leave and be away from everything.
“You seem tired.” Joel piped up, his voice soft and warm. It reminded you of a crackling campfire under the night stars.
Turning your attention over to Joel, you nodded in response, “You too?”
Joel pursed his lips for a moment before shrugging his shoulders, his hands folded in his lap. “Tired of a few people, more like,” he said with a gruff laugh and a shake of his head.
You couldn’t help but smile and laugh a little as well, knowing full well who he was talking about.
“Well, you’re the lucky one out of the two of us. You get to go ahead and leave whenever you want. I, on the other hand, have to wait for everyone else to start heading out so I can leave with Daniel,” you muttered with an eyeroll.
Joel remained silent for a moment and stroked his mustache before leaning back on the porch seat with a deep sigh. “Y’know, I could bring ya home if you’d like,” he offered, turning his neck slightly to face you.
You furrowed your eyebrows and quickly shook your head, brushing him off with your hand, “No, you don’t need to do that. The night is still young, and all my friends and family are still here. I really should stay and thank them for being here. Would look kind of bitchy of me to just leave Daniel here all alone, don’t you think?” You forced out a laugh, even though humor was the last thing you felt.
Your chest was tight, and there was nothing more you wanted to do than to leave. But deep down, you knew that you couldn’t. Yet, maybe if you were to leave, would Daniel even notice your absence? He barely even talked to you after the ceremony and ran off with his friends. Hell, Joel noticed that you were outside before Daniel did. And you knew that he was still in there, completely oblivious to the fact that you weren’t inside anymore.
However, you couldn’t care less if he noticed you were gone or not. Because Joel noticed. Joel seemed to care.
“Y’sure?” Joel questioned once more, wanting to ensure you were alright with staying later.
You hesitated briefly before giving him a nod, your lips pressed into a forced smile, “I’m sure.”
Joel patted his hands on his knees and nodded before slowly standing up from the porch, “Alright then. Call me when ya get home, alright? Wanna make sure you get there safe.” He gave you a smile, a genuine, kind smile.
Your heart was racing in your chest from the anxiety. You wanted him to give you a ride so you could get an easy way out of here. But you knew that would cause questions in the end that you wanted to avoid. At the same time, this was a solution for the time being. The questions about your whereabouts could be dealt with later. You didn’t want to spend the rest of your wedding night sitting outside on a splintered bench, withering away in your anxieties and doubts.
You watched him walk off with a hint of regret tearing at your heart. You felt the lump in your throat. Letting him leave felt like the wrong decision, at least for now. What you thought was the right option wasn’t seeming so good after all. The inkling of regret moved from a nauseous feeling in your throat to a deep pit in your stomach.
Questions of “what ifs” came into your head. You knew that in the long run, you would regret not going back with Joel and staying here in your misery. You would spend the rest of the night wondering how it would be if you just said yes to Joel and went home, somewhere you felt comfortable and safe. Staying here wasn’t going to make you feel any better.
Swallowing that lump in your throat and ignoring the pit in your gut, you stood from the bench and called out his name, “Joel?” You were grateful your voice wasn’t shaky, considering the anxiety you had built up from just thinking about staying at this wedding.
Joel stopped walking and turned to face you, a slight grin already on his face, “Yea?” he called back out, shoving his hands into his pockets.
Hearing his voice washed away your anxiety and worries nearly instantly.
“A ride would be nice.”
┉┉┉
“So, talk to me.” Joel spoke up after a while of nothing but quiet, classic rock playing from his truck radio, Eagles Lyin’ Eyes.
You blinked a couple of times before looking over at him. You were lost in your own mind, drifting off as you watched the world go by as Joel drove past tree after tree on this long and winding dirt road. You weren’t expecting him to speak at all.
“Hm?” Was all you could muster, completely expecting this entire ride to be silent.
“Talk to me,” Joel repeated, as if you had missed him the first time. You heard him crystal clear. “What happened tonight? Everythin’ alright?” He glanced over at you for a quick second before looking back at the road in front of him.
You stayed silent for a moment, trying to process the question. Now, this was the last thing you had expected. You stared at the road before you, only illuminated by Joel’s headlights. You ran your thoughts through your head before looking over at Joel.
“Course I’m alright. I’m finally married to the love of my life, and we’ve got to celebrate it with my family. I just got tired.” You shrugged, lying through your teeth, whether consciously or subconsciously. You wanted to believe that it was the truth. And maybe by saying it, putting it out in the world, it would become the truth, even if you haven’t felt happiness quite yet.
Joel raised an eyebrow and looked over at you for another brief moment, taking a look between you and the dirt road. “And that’s why I found ya mopin’ around outside?” He chuckled and shook his head. He didn’t believe it for a second.
“I was tired.” You tried convincing yourself.
He sighed, “Darlin’, I saw you in there. You looked miserable. Now, if ya don’t want to talk about it, we don’t gotta-”
“I guess I was overwhelmed,” You cut him off with a shaky breath. He kept his eyes on the road as he listened to you solemnly, with a slight frown on the corner of his lips. “After the ceremony, I kept feeling like I just made a big mistake I can’t undo. Like I fucked up. I love Daniel, I do. I’ve loved him for so long,” You ignored the sour taste in your mouth as the words left your lips, “But I can’t help… I can’t help but feel he doesn’t love me as much as I love him. I mean, he got drunk not even two hours after the ceremony like the asshole he is.” You let out a scoff and a laugh, looking up to keep the tears from falling.
Joel noticed the change in your voice as you ranted on, and he looked at you with concern. “It’s nothing you did. He clearly had too much to drink..”
“And when you get drunk, you talk about how much you hate being tied down to your girlfriend or wife and that she’s nothing but a pain in the ass?” You scoffed sarcastically, trying desperately not to let the tears roll down your cheeks.
Joel felt a tightness in his chest as he listened to you carefully. He was very much single. Hasn’t been on a date in years, not since he’s had Sarah. Even though he’s been single for quite some time, that didn’t mean he lost his senses. He could never imagine himself talking so poorly about someone he was supposed to love, through sickness and in health, to death do us part.
“He’s an asshole. He may be a friend o’mine but an asshole. He doesn’t know what he’s got, how good he has it.” Joel shook his head as he stared at the road, the irritation clear in his voice.
Throughout his years, Joel hasn’t had much experience with love and relationships. He’s had a few here and there, but nothing too serious. The only serious relationship he had ever been in was with Sarah’s mother, but that didn’t end too well for either him or his daughter.
Despite all of this, he still knew how someone was supposed to be treated and how to treat someone well. It didn’t take a genius to realize that Daniel wasn’t the best at it. But it wasn’t Joel’s place to overstep.
There was a lump in your throat and a boulder on your chest. You knew that Joel was right. You had always had that feeling that Daniel was nothing but an asshole. But Daniel was all that you had. Daniel was the only choice for you. It seemed as though Daniel was the only way for you to get married and have children. It had always been Daniel.
“M’sorry,” Joel said, breaking the short silence between the two of you with a deep sigh. I shouldn’t be talkin’ ’bout one of my friends like that, ‘specially to his wife.” He let out a pitiful chuckle, the same boulder on his chest.
“No. You’re right,” You stopped him from his apology, “I married an asshole. Fuck, I married an asshole..” You repeated as if reality had finally hit you, “Can I.. Can I be completely honest for a second?”
“I’m all ears.”
You took a deep breath, feeling your palms starting to get sweaty before you began to talk, “I don’t know if I made the right decision, if this marriage was even ever a good idea. I felt like I had to marry him. He was all I had, the only person who’d shown me any kind of love. And maybe I was just scared of being so alone that I married him. But it doesn’t feel right now that it’s done, Joel. It really doesn’t.”
You felt like you could throw up, knowing this was your life now. You chose to have this life in fear that you could never find anything better. Daniel had you believing he was all you had and the only one you would ever have. It was a huge mistake, you knew that. But there was no reverse button. You would just have to learn how to live like this.
Joel stayed silent through your little rant, keeping his eyes on the road. With every word, his grip on the steering wheel grew tighter and tighter, but he remained silent.
You took a deep breath and ran a hand through your hair to get the fallen pieces out of your eyes. “But I don’t know. I guess it’s okay. It doesn’t feel right complaining on my wedding day.” You forced out a laugh.
Joel stayed silent other than a quiet groan as he glanced over his shoulder before pulling over to the side of the dirt road.
You furrowed your eyebrows as you watched him, confused.
“Is something wrong?” you asked, looking out your window and through the rearview mirror, worried that there could possibly be an issue with his truck.
Joel put the car into park and turned to look at you, “Course there’s somethin’ wrong. It’s your damn wedding night, and look how miserable you are right now. Ain’t too fair, don’t ya think?” He shook his head, “Just because you were dating him for a long time doesn’t mean you should feel pressured into marrying him, ain’t right.” He mumbled and rubbed his eyes and then his temples, almost as if this whole situation was giving him a headache. You couldn’t help but feel a slight ping of guilt, “Answer me this, did you really want to marry him?”
You frowned and nodded, “I did. I married him, didn’t I?”
Joel looked at you unconvinced as he said your name in a stricter voice, “You wanted to marry him? That’s why you were outside by yourself on the verge of tears, just wanting to leave? That’s why you’ve been complaining about him this whole drive t’me? I don’t know what your definition of love is, sweetheart, but that definitely ain’t mine.”
You kept silent, hating the fact that he was absolutely right. Love shouldn’t feel this way. Love shouldn’t be bringing you down as much as it was.
Biting the inside of your cheek, you took a deep breath and admitted your defeat, “I know, I know. I just, I never thought I would be able to find someone. I’ve been with Daniel forever, I don’t know anyone but him.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. There’s someone out there for everybody. And I can tell you right now that Daniel’s not for you. Someone who can be such an ass doesn’t deserve someone like you.” Joel shook his head, meaning every word that he said.
You stared at Joel, your eyes burning into him. He seemed to know you well, saying the things you had always been so terrified of saying.
For years, you’ve been under the impression that Daniel was the only one who would ever find the heart to love you. He was the only one you would ever be able to get. But now, Joel is starting to change your whole perspective. Maybe this marriage was a mistake. Your entire relationship with Daniel was a mistake. And maybe he wasn’t the only one in this world who would want you.
There was a thick silence between the two of you, the sound of his engine running and his soft breathing all you could hear. You didn’t know what to say, and Joel had already said everything that he needed to.
“Darling...” Joel whispered and, after a minute of silence, placed a hand on your thigh to grab your attention.
“You’re right. You’re fucking right.” You felt breathless, and there was a huge lump in your throat, keeping you from saying much.
Joel frowned when he heard you and squeezed your thigh gently, a touch of reassurance to remind you that he was here to help.
Your mind was loud and quiet all at once. There were so many thoughts floating around but nothing you could understand.
“Joel?” you whispered, glancing down at his hand resting on your thigh before looking back at him to meet his eyes. Your temples were nearly throbbing from this entire conversation, and you didn’t know what to do about it.
“Yes?” His voice was soft and caring, wanting nothing but to help you in this moment.
You weren’t entirely sure if there was a way that he could even help you. But, there was one thing and one thing only that came to mind.
You kept eye contact with him for a moment longer, your thoughts still swirling around in your head. Without saying another word, you moved in closer to him and pressed your lips against his in a deep kiss, closing your eyes.
Joel widened his eyes in shock for a split second before closing them, cherishing the kiss as he returned it.
While your mind was woozy and none of your thoughts seemed clear, you knew this felt right. With his lips on yours, your mind was finally clear. The throbbing in your head was gone. And you didn’t want this to end.
Joel’s heart was racing as he kissed you, his hand slowly moving from your thigh to your waist to get a better hold of you. There were still thoughts of Daniel in the back of his mind, knowing he was currently kissing his best friend’s new wife. But yet, he didn’t find himself feeling guilty and pulling away. He wanted the kiss to continue just as badly.
He hummed against your lips and gripped onto you gently, a soft squeeze to your hip. Your hands moved up into his hair, messing up the curls he had worked hard to maintain for the wedding. But neither of you seemed to care.
His tongue entered your mouth and swirled around your own, wanting to taste you as much as he could. For years, ever since he’s known you, he’s been imagining a moment like this. But he knew he would never be able to act upon his wishes for you, who had been with Daniel the entire time. But as your relationship came crumbling apart, Joel was happy that he could be there for you, the one you would come to when needed.
Right now, Joel was the only person you wanted. This one kiss had so much more feeling and passion than any kiss you and Daniel ever shared. You had never wanted Daniel as much as you had wanted Joel at this very moment.
Joel pulled away from you slightly, much to your dismay. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” he asked, panting just a little against your lips. His lips were so close to yours that you wanted to pull him in and smash your lips against his yet again.
“Yes.” You said simply before pulling him back into you. Your arms wrapped around him as his hand moved down to your thigh, rubbing your leg gently while he focused on moving his lips with yours.
Your hands moved down his shoulders, feeling how big his arms were underneath his suit. You were dying to see how he would look without it. You parted lips again to quickly remove his tie and rid him of his suit jacket.
He took that moment as an opportunity to kiss down your neck, trying to find your most sensitive spots. He ached to make you feel good.
Daniel wasn’t even in the back of either of your minds. All you wanted was each other. Nothing else seemed to matter.
His lips remained on your skin as you undressed him from his top, revealing his muscular arms and chest covered in brown hair. He was even sexier than you would have ever imagined.
As you undressed him, he moved his hand up underneath your dress, reaching up to unhook your bra, all while his lips continued to kiss down your neck. He wanted to savor this moment with you. But at the same time, he didn’t know how much longer he would be able to wait.
He’s always wanted you but was always forced to stay on the sidelines because of Daniel. He was yours, and you were his. Joel was a good friend and didn’t want to get in the way. But after seeing how you were being treated on your wedding day, he couldn’t just sit around and watch anymore. He needed to take action. He needed to show you how it truly feels to feel cared about, to be with someone who actually wants you back.
He moved his hands up your back slowly before slipping your sleeves off of your arm, revealing your bare chest to him. You kept your eyes on him as you watched him stare at you, looking at you with such lust and admiration.
You blushed, a smile appearing on your lips. You couldn’t even remember when or if Daniel had ever looked at you like that, but you didn’t care anymore. All you cared about was Joel.
Biting your lip, you moved your hands down to his belt, eager to rid him of them. Your fingers removed them with ease, pulling his pants down at the same time so he was now left in only his underwear in his truck.
Without skipping a beat, he returned the favor and slipped your dress down to your feet. Having you like this in front of him, naked in just your panties, made his dick twitch in his underwear. He didn’t want to waste another second without making you his.
“God, you’re so damn gorgeous.” Joel shook his head and looked at you like he had just seen an angel on earth. He couldn’t understand why Daniel would treat someone as incredible as you the way he was.
But now, you were all his. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to have you for long, so he wanted to make this time count.
Joel’s eyes were glued onto your body as he slipped down his boxers, revealing his aching and throbbing member, precum leaking out of the tip, desperate to be inside of your wet pussy.
You gasped quietly when he revealed himself, a gasp that was shortly followed by a moan. He was a sexy man already, but this just made things even better. You’ve never seen a dick with the length and girth as his, and you couldn’t wait for it to be deep inside you.
“C’mere,” Joel mumbled, stroking his dick a few times while his eyes bore into you.
You did exactly as you were told and quickly moved over to the driver’s side of the truck, the seat already pushed all the way back to give you room. You moved onto his lap, wrapping your arms around him so you had something stable to hold onto.
Joel placed his hands on your waist to keep you in place. He lined himself up to your entrance, grabbing onto the base of his cock and teasing your clit with his tip. You bit down on your lip as you rubbed yourself against him, impossibly wet for him.
Slowly and gently, he pushed his length into you, a deep groan releasing from his throat, “Fuck.” he mumbled as he pulled you down onto his cock.
It felt like your voice was stuck in your throat, just a small string of moans coming out. He kept himself deep inside of you for a moment, not moving to allow you to get used to the feeling of him.
“You feel so fuckin’ amazing, sweetheart.” Joel whispered in your ear and rubbed your hips soothingly, cherishing the way your pussy hugged around him.
Digging his fingers into your waist gently, he began to thrust into you, keeping his pace slow and easy.
You leaned your head back, letting your eyes flutter close. All thoughts and regrets of marrying Daniel left your mind in a flash as Joel thrust into you, filling you up in a way you never have before.
“Didn’t know you would be so wet for me, darlin’,” Joel smirked slightly as he quickened up his pace just a bit, “M’able to just slip right inside ya.” He groaned, rubbing your hips.
You nodded quickly and moved your hands up to his broad shoulders, holding onto his strong arms. You didn’t know that your body would react this way to Joel, but you couldn’t say you were surprised. You never knew how deprived you really were, how neglected your needs had been. “You do something to me, Joel,” you said between your moans.
Joel smiled when he heard you, a minor boost to his confidence as he moved one of his hands up to grab your breast, the other staying on your waist to keep you in place while he thrust in and out of you.
You leaned your head forward, your forehead resting on his shoulder. Gentle scratches were being made on your hip, only adding to the sensual experience. You didn’t want him to stop.
Joel was a man who knew who he was doing, something that Daniel had always lacked. You had never finished when you were ever in bed with him. But with the way things were going at the moment, you were confident that Joel would bring you to your climax.
“If you were mine, if I were able to have you every night,” Joel mumbled in between grunts and groans while thrusting into you, “I would be the happiest. Fuckin’. Man. Alive.” he moaned between his thrusts.
Small beads of sweat were beginning to form on his forehead while he lifted his hips to thrust into you. He wasn’t as young as he used to be and didn’t have the stamina he did when he was in his twenties, but he always aimed to please. Especially for you.
His breaths gradually grew into gasps and pants as he kept a quick pace with his thrusts. The moans of his name leaving your lips gave him more than enough motivation to make you finish. He wanted to put all of his focus on your orgasm rather than his. He wanted to see the look on your face, the way your eyes would roll in the back of your head when you reached your climax. Knowing that it would be him as the cause of you crossing the finish line made him feel a certain way.
He needed to make you feel good.
He lifted your hips up before pulling you back down on his cock, filling you up all the way so he was deep inside of you.
“Fuck!” You screamed out in pleasure, your nails digging into his shoulders. Still, he didn’t slow his pace. He was hitting exactly the right spot, the spot that made your head feel woozy.
Your eyes stayed closed, solely focused on reaching your climax.
Joel groaned as he watched you, thrusting inside of you deeply, wanting to get as deep inside of you as he possibly could.
“M’close baby..” Joel grunted and bit down on his lower lip, and grabbed onto your waist in a tighter grip.
Those words made you feel like jello in his hands, knowing that you had such an effect on you. Not even Daniel showed you this much pleasure.
“Fill me up, Joel..” You moaned and began riding his dick slightly, bouncing up and down on his cock, desperate to reach your own climax as well.
Joel groaned as those words left your lips before he grabbed onto your hips even tighter, thrusting one last time into you to get even deeper when he came. Stammering strings of breaths and moans were all that he could make out as he finished inside of you. He held you onto his dick as he finished, keeping you down.
The feeling of him being so deep inside of you, his hot breath panning against your bare skin, and his nails digging into your waist all helped to send you over the edge. You could barely speak as you came, your mind feeling as if it was a separate entity from your body. Your mind felt hazy, as if you were in a daze. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as you came. You couldn’t remember yourself having an orgasm this intense with anyone else in your life.
Joel kissed your neck as you slowly came down from your orgasm, his chest still heaving from his own climax. Beads of sweat were visible on his forehead and chest as he tried to catch his breath and get his heartbeat back to normal.
A sense of guilt washed over him, but he tried to ignore it. He didn’t regret what he had just done, not in the slightest. But he knew the consequences would be hell if anyone ever found out.
Clearing his throat, Joel slowly slipped out of you before kissing your forehead.
Your chest felt tense, knowing that it was more than wrong. But just like Joel, you didn’t regret that it happened. You wouldn’t hesitate to do it again. Joel actually made you feel cared for, and he handled your body with such care.
He looked into your eyes for a moment and you gave him a small smile, one that he returned. It puts those thoughts of guilt in the back of your head. His smile made your heart skip a beat.
The two of you got dressed in silence, but it was a comfortable silence. The rest of the drive back to your place was silent as well. Your head rested on the window, staring outside as the trees passed you by with his hand on your thigh.
#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel tlou#tlou#the last of us#the last of us hbo#pedro pascal#pedro pascal characters#joel miller smut#tlou smut#the last of us smut#18+#female reader#writing#fiction
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drunk on you (part one) || Rick Grimes (TWD) × gn!reader (no apocalypse!AU)
rick grimes taglist: @golden-hoax @mgparker
AVAILABLE ON AO3
Summary: You'd known Rick forever, as far back as freshman year. He was a guy you (if you were honest) had a crush on; there was just something in his stance and the low drawl of his voice. You'd say that feeling only got worse from there. Before you could blink, he was married and had a kid; and suddenly, despite your best efforts, you felt very out of place. You faded out of his life, and he yours. So when Rick shows up at your door (drunk out of his mind) about 5 years after the last time you spoke to him, you have a lot of questions.
TWs: mentioned infidelity (Shane and Lori), strained relationships, loss of friendship, mentioned pregnancy (Judith), divorce, alcohol, mention of gunshot wounds, and shameless flirting.
[[A/N: y'all remember when he was drunk that one time? this is built off of that. also no apocalypse, just normal life. Enjoy :))]]
A long time ago, you met Rick Grimes.
He wasn't the kind of teen that was awkward, like maybe his arms were too long for his body -no. Rick Grimes was broad-shouldered and built like he was on the football team -even though you weren't exactly sure he was. Shane Walsh, his best friend, was the same -both unbelievably picturesque. You were a human then, so you'd had a thing for Rick, but then again, every single person in that school did.
And one day, he approached you with a grin, "Apparently you're really good at this?"
You tutored him, and your friendship just spiraled from there. The two of them became a trio, and despite insistent Shane's flirting (not that he meant any of it), your heart stayed consistent.
Even throughout college (or the police academy for them), they would come onto your campus for lunch -always stealing bits and pieces of yours. You could clearly remember meeting Rick's eyes over the table and your heart flipping in your chest; before he could notice though, you'd flick a piece of your lunch at him. He'd laugh then, and you'd move on.
They were there with you through life, boyfriends (who they often threatened to 'take care of'), heartbreaks, and failures.
You weren't there when he met Lori, but you were there when he introduced her to the group. She was picturesque beauty, just like him and Shane were picturesque handsome -they suited each other really well.
That day, you'd been strained and Shane could tell -he kicked up the flirting to a hundred, and you spent the whole time pushing him off and cussing him out. You didn't tell him, not verbally, but you knew he knew. And you trusted him not to tell.
Even when they got married, your lips stayed sealed. You were at the wedding actually, it had been a day you couldn't decide on. Half the day you were happy for your friend, and the other half, you felt like your heart had been stomped into the ground. You cried in the bathroom a few times, and Shane hovered close by.
He seemed to understand your pain a little too much, but you never got the courage to ask.
You were still trying, though, and had honestly become friends with Lori but you still felt your grasp on the group loosen. They were leaps ahead of you, both Shane and Rick in stable jobs -making their way up, and Rick and Lori married-
You just weren't there yet. And you didn't know how long it would take. Especially since all you could see in your head about the future was Rick. And that wasn't fair to Lori and you knew that but you couldn't stop-
And then, Lori was pregnant.
That was probably the last straw for you.
It wasn't that you stopped showing up, not really. You still came to the baby shower with cute, little baby booties and a bet on a boy. You even met Carl, and he helped. You could distract yourself with him, and every time you visited, you did just that. Lori and Rick would talk to Shane, and you would be lost in playing with Carl.
You stayed until he was three.
Rick had suddenly got the notion -you always knew he was attentive, but you'd never dreamed of this.
"I can tell somethin' is wrong with ya," he had said, hands sturdily on your arms, "-I'm 'ere if ya need me, you know that, right?"
You stopped being as vocal when you met up -trying to hide it all away, all it did was make Rick watch you more. So, you started leaving early and being busy -working yourself to the bone.
As time passed, naturally, they stopped inviting you. Your life shifted, and you moved out of town for your dream job -a fresh start. None of them knew that, and even though you could've said something, you were eager for a do-over.
Maybe this time you wouldn't fall in love with a married man, you thought to yourself.
And even though it was a joke, it hurt. You weren't sure that it ever wouldn't.
That brings you to now, at your apartment in a different city -eating some food you randomly pulled out of your pantry. It was late, and realistically, you should've been sleeping but the show that was on actually caught your attention. You'd let it slide and probably hate yourself in the morning.
Just as another revelation made its way onto your screen (might've been someone cheating on someone else? you weren't really following), you heard a noise.
You stiffened, raising an eyebrow -what the hell?
Patiently waiting, you heard it again -more incessant.
Knocks, you realize, someone was knocking at your door.
Flashing the time on your phone, 1:06 am, you frowned. There was no way anyone you knew was at your door at this hour; it was probably just some weirdo-
The knock came back and this time it was much louder, a pounding even.
You startled for a minute, before standing and making your way to the door -slowly, and keeping a foot propped against it, just in case. You lived in the city, this could really be anybody.
Instead, when you opened the door, you were met with a familiar face -your neighbor a few doors down. She was an older lady, sweet, but she certainly did not look sweet then.
"Do you know him?"
You hadn't even noticed at first, but her fist was clutching hard against the white t-shirt of someone -you shifted slightly to try and see them better.
And when you did...
"Rick?" You asked with disbelief layered in your tone -this could not be real.
"So, you do," she exhaled, letting him go.
He promptly turned to you, and you could just immediately tell he was wasted. He had that flush on his face, and the gleam in his eye you'd seen before at college parties.
Rick's blue eyes fell on you and he grinned real bright, mumbling out, "Y/N! 'S good to see you. I was lookin' for ya-"
"He's been knocking on every door on this floor for 30 minutes," she all but seethed, "-apparently, I'm the only one who answered."
With a breath, your mind spinning -you grabbed Rick's shoulder and pulled him inside.
"Thank you, Beatrice, really," you smiled, apologeticly, "-I'm so sorry he woke you up."
She waved you off, disappearing down the hall.
At that, you locked the door behind you and spun on your heel -determined to make sure this was real. That Rick Grimes was in your living room.
Sure enough, he stood by your couch -a little wobbly. He actually nearly fell but caught himself on the back of the couch.
"Alright, cowboy," you sighed, rushing over to move him to sit, "-Let's get you settled, yeah?"
Rick was putty in your hands as you pulled him onto the couch -body moving only when you forced it to. He smiled at you, big and beautiful, when you stepped back -and you hate to say it made your heart flutter. It was all coming back now, you needed to focus-
"Where 'ave you been?" He asked, and it was slurred, "-Haven't seen you in forever, ya know?"
"Rick, hey," you sat across from him on the coffee table, "-Why are you here? How do you even know where I live?"
"Shane told me," he hiccups, whole body jolting, "-told me ta come find ya. And I-"
He paused for a second, like he couldn't remember.
"I came to see you," he answered, before flashing another smile. He was always a happy drunk.
"Right," you said -not buying it. Had Shane just ditched him in the city? If so, why were they here?
And why did he ditch him in the first place?
You huffed out a breath and pulled out your phone -darting through your contacts. Your finger hovered over it for a second (just a moment of doubt), and pressed it.
It rang for a few minutes, before just going to voicemail.
Frowning, you scrolled back up, skimming again for a different name: Lori. You hoped she would answer, and she should. Her husband has gone missing, assumedly? Yeah, she should be concerned.
And again, it rang for a few minutes and then went to voicemail. ('Hey, this is Lori. Sorry I'm busy right now, but I'll get back to you.')
You huffed out a breath, what the hell?
You knew it was late, but her husband had just shown up at your door -blackout drunk. Did she even know he was out? Was Shane even the one who brought him here?
Rick leaned forward and you placed a hand to keep him upright instinctively. You pursed your lips, debating on how exactly to handle this.
"Rick?" He perked up at your voice, "-Where are Lori and Carl? Are they close?"
He frowned for a moment, before throwing himself back against the couch -you made sure he stayed sat up, "Carl goes wit' Lori on the weekends."
"Goes?" You questioned, you knew you hadn't been present for five years, but it seemed like his whole life had changed -you didn't dare assume, "Rick, are you and Lori not married anymore?"
"No," he scoffed, almost in defense, "-broke up a long time ago. You didn't kno' 'at?"
You swallowed, some sort of mix of shock and disbelief brewed up your throat: so her drunk ex-husband showed up at your door.
There was something in your chest, a little flame in your heart. You were ridiculous, happy about a divorce between some of your previously close friends? God, you were reaching new lows.
Well, wasn't like you could do anything else, so you stood up -grabbing a cup from your kitchen and filling it with water. Rick, thankfully, stayed in his spot on the couch -eyes following you as you walked back over to him.
"You're pretty," he slurred, "-always thought 'at, never said it."
Your heart jumped in your throat, focus, Y/N. He's drunk.
You shook your head, and found your place on the coffee table again, holding out the cup. When his hand extended, he wobbled a bit more and you let out a long sigh.
"Okay, fine," you muttered, scooting closer, "-open up."
He was still surprisingly obedient, sipping the water as you held it to his lips. His eyes, though, stayed focused on you -blue eyes barely blinking. It made you want to fidget in your seat, but you decidedly ignored it. Focus, focus.
With half the glass gone, you were satisfied. Pulling the cup back and sitting it beside you, his eyes did not waver -you were starting to get a little flustered now. Standing to go get a blanket and container (for any... accidents), you were stalled in place.
His fingers wrapped around your wrist -calloused and long, your brain short circuited a bit.
"Rick, why-"
"Even prettier now," he laughed out, grinning, "-thought ya was pretty th'n, but you're even prettier now! How did ya do 'at?"
Swallowing the skip of your heart, you pulled your hand out of his grasp and continued your walk. Shaking out your hands and exhaling a big breath, you stepped out of the closet with the goods and back toward the couch.
"Look," you started, shaking the container in your hand, "-this is where you throw up, okay? Not on my floor."
"Aye, aye," he grinned.
You rolled your eyes, but something you had missed him -even just as a friend. You'd lost him as a friend too, and that probably hurt more than anything. He was your rock and then, he was gone.
Blinking back the fog of your eyes, you set him up in the recliner -pulling his feet up and throwing the blanket over him. It was your extra one, a soft throw blanket, and wasn't long enough to cover his feet. Which, now that you noticed still had his shoes on them.
You let out another long sigh, before beginning to untie the laces.
"Shane told me 'at ya loved me," he said suddenly as if it was a realization and you stilled where you sat. Your breath stuttering in your chest, you focused on the laces for a moment.
"Why did he tell you that?"
Rick sighed, tilting his chin up to look at the ceiling, "Asked 'im 'bout ya, why ya left. If he knew anythin'."
You flinched, something in your chest sinking. He would've been sober then, that wasn't something you just brought up drunk. But, why were they even talking about you? Did they still do that? After all these years?
Feeling guilty, you stayed silent.
Rick didn't say anything else, oddly quiet, and when you looked up, you saw him fast asleep. Eyes fallen shut and head tilted all the way to the left, he looked like quite the picture. You laughed, a tiny one just to yourself.
Maybe, if he woke up and left tomorrow without saying a word -this visual could hold you over for a while. It reminded you of when you guys were the closest, before you started... drifting away.
You swallowed, tears burning the backs of your eyes -not letting them fall. You'd cried over this too many times.
Taking a deep breath in and one last look at Rick, you disappeared to your room. The comfort and familiarity of it made you feel a lot better, but if you focused you could hear the gentle hum of Rick's breathing. A reminder that he was there, that this wasn't all some bizarre dream.
Changing into pajamas, your eyes flickered over some old photos up on your walls -your friends, all smiling and happy. You, Rick, and Shane -sometimes even Lori. It was filled with other things like your diploma and degree, family photos, little souvenirs, and just pictures you'd taken of places you'd been.
Rick looked the same as then, just a little more built. A little sturdier, and more confident in himself; kind of like he knew his place or had found it.
He didn't need you.
You shook the thought from your head and headed to bed -flicking out the lamp on your nightstand and forcing everything within you to sleep.
Waking up the next morning, you realized you forgot to get the Tylenol out for Rick. So with reluctance (it was your day off), you pulled yourself out and dug through your drawers to find it. It was quiet, so you assumed, he was still asleep. You would be if you could've.
Instead, however, when you roamed to your bedroom door -you were stalled still. Rick was up, silently looking at your wall with intense focus. Those pictures were of you, some with new work friends, with your family, with just pretty sights you'd seen; it was all you. He was staring a bit like he was in an art museum and your photos were the most fascinating piece he'd ever seen.
Your heart sped up in your chest.
Clearing your throat, he spun to you and you for a second forgot how to speak because those eyes were very clearly aware -skipping all over you like he couldn't believe you were real. You were a little embarrassed you were in your pajamas, suddenly.
Blinking and clearing your head, you spoke -a little awkwardly, "I got you some medicine to help with the... the headache."
Rick pushed his lips together, almost like he wasn't sure what to do -hands grabbing at each other, and rocking a little on his feet. It was like he wanted to say something or do something, but he just couldn't find the words or maybe the will.
He laughed, a little nervously, "Thanks, I... I'm not sure what to say."
You swallowed, before deciding to say, "You don't have to say anything, I get it. You were stranded, you were drunk out of your mind. I'm glad to help. Really."
"Stranded?" He questioned, and you wordlessly handed him the medicine -hands brushing against his. You ignored it.
"Well, yeah," you said, now a little uncertain, "-I can't imagine your visit was planned. I... You said Shane told you to come here, so I assumed he ditched you somewhere. Because he would, if given the chance."
Rick laughed a little at the private knowledge of your friend but there was something strained there -hidden. You weren't sure if you should ask.
"Look," you exhaled, "-I'm not going to poke and prod. I know I've... missed somethings but that's nobody's fault but mine. So-"
Rick seemed to look at you a type of way then, and your mind chimed that 'he knew'.
"I'm not going to ask you anything," you finished, wringing your hands -keeping them busy, "-you don't... you don't have to tell me anything either. I... Yeah."
"Why not?" He offered, and you could tell somehow he was a little disheartened -it made guilt curl up in your stomach.
"It's been five years," you laughed, incredulously, "-I kind of stopped talking to you, Shane, and Lori without warning."
He seemed to flinch slightly at the names, and you had another worried thought -trying to read him ever-so-slightly, "I didn't reach out to ya either."
"That's not-"
"In fact, I remember we stopped invitin' ya," Rick clarified, stepping closer.
"Only because I wasn't showing up," you countered, "-or I was leaving early, or wasn't really... there."
He hummed a little, and you could tell he was processing it all.
"I just, I'm sorry," you finally said, "-I had a lot going on then, and I felt like... That doesn't matter, I'm just sorry for everything."
Something passed through his eyes then, and you thought maybe it was understanding. He knew of your... thing, and he wasn't stupid. You knew he could connect the dots, you just hoped he wouldn't say anything about them. You couldn't handle that.
"It matters," he responded, slowly, "-Ya know, I tried... I tried to see you after we stopped invitin' ya, and your place was up for rent. Door was locked, but I asked the neighbors and they said you'd been gone for months."
You didn't think that he would come looking for you, any of them really. Your paths in life had just diverted and you thought it was a clean break, but... it wasn't. Rick was worrying about you through it all.
Before you could voice anything more, he continued, "They didn't even know where ya went."
I looked for you went unsaid. Your stomach tossed with guilt, a heavy feeling in your gut. It was for the best, but he didn't quite know that.
Well, he did actually. He knew exactly why you had disappeared, so why was he talking about this? Did he want to... Did he want to hear it from you? Confirm it?
Did he not believe it?
You sighed, clearing your throat, "I just needed a fresh start. I was... I was struggling there, and needed someplace new."
"Why didn't ya talk to me?"
God, you were getting into this now. You really, really did not want to. Maybe you could just-
"I would've," he started, slow, and something in him read as guilty, "-I would've done what I could to help."
"Rick," you exhaled, "-I know that. But what was happening then... couldn't be helped. It was something I had to navigate on my own."
"But-"
"Look, Rick," you cleared your throat, "-that was a long time ago, and I feel like all we're doing is dredging up old feelings. That I really..."
You trailed off, eyes getting foggy, before centering yourself and clearing your throat, "Just know, I had a reason, a good reason to leave you guys. I maybe didn't do it right, but I did it how I had to."
Rick was looking at you like you were a shining gem, precious; like the world was a storm and he wanted to shelter you, protect you from it. You weren't sure how to process that, so you just decided not to then.
He seemed to pause for a moment, before asking, gently, "What exactly did I tell ya last night?"
"Only a little," you clarified, "-uh, Shane told you to come here, and that you and Lori... um, aren't together anymore."
"Nothing else?"
You sighed, voice catching in your throat, "I really don't want to do this, Rick."
"Do what?" He asked, brow quirked.
"I've already-" you clenched your fingernails into your palms, "Okay, I know what Shane said to you. You told me last night, okay? We don't have to talk about it."
"I want to," he spoke, stepping closer.
You groaned, "Why? Why does it matter?"
"I just want to know-"
"If it's true?" You interrupted, before letting out a long intake of breath, voice shaking -no time better than now, "-Because if that's what you want to know, I can answer it. Yes. Yes, it's true."
Rick seemed to pause for a moment, something smoothing through his eyes.
"I left because of it," you clarified, as well, answering all the questions he could ask, "-and I wasn't... I wasn't ever going to tell you."
The silence was overwhelming then, as you sucked in a breath and kept your eyes trained on the floor. Your heart beating so fast in your chest, it made your head go fuzzy -your legs felt a little weak. You must've wobbled a little, because-
"Woah," he rushed to your side, one hand holding your waist, "-c'mon, let's sit you down, sweetheart."
It was instinctual, the name, and it wasn't like it was the first time you'd heard it from him. But even so, it just confused you. Everything about Rick Grimes calmed you down, but everything about your feelings made you lose it. The balance was strung so tight, you didn't know how to react.
Now, he sat across from you on the coffee table, long legs bumping into your knees -one hand sturdily on your shoulder, trying to meet your eyes. He just wanted to see if you were okay.
"I'm fine," you breathed out -meeting his eyes, "-just. I'm fine."
Rick nodded, and hesitantly pulled his hand back -you could still feel the warmth sprouted there. It made your head swirl, and part of you wanted to scream your lungs out; you can't still feel it now, that's not fair.
"Can I tell ya something?"
"What is..." you pursued, "-something?"
"A story," he clarified, hands fidgeting, "-I told you 'bout me and Lori, I want to be more specific."
"Rick, you don't have to-"
He laid a hand on your knee, ever so slightly touching -it cut the words from your lips, "I want to."
You didn't say a word.
"Few years, after you left," he started, "-I got hurt on the job. Ended up in pursuit unprepared, and the guy got my shoulder."
His hand seemed to move to the shoulder on instinct, though the scar was hidden under the shirt. You wondered for a moment what it would look like, before washing the idea of his skin out of your brain.
"Shane still your partner? Or-" you rambled a little, "-I know you guys planned it like that."
"Yeah," he smiled, "-Shane was there, kept me awake. But I... I ended up in the hospital for about a year. Half in a coma, and the other half making sure I wouldn't go back into one-"
"Jesus Christ," you muttered out, instinctually.
"And that last day," he started, something in his voice tightening, and on instinct, your hand shot to his leg -comforting. His eyes lingered on it a bit too long, before he slowly placed his palm on top of your skin and gently flipped your hand over. Calloused fingertips wrapped around your hand, and suddenly, they were intertwined -out of his own volition.
You swallowed back the flutter of butterflies in your stomach, you're just comforting him, focus.
"Lori was pregnant," Rick sighed out, big and long -something in him hurt, but something far bigger past it. You could tell, he had processed a lot of this.
"But you were-"
Rick just looked at you then, thumb rhythmically rubbing the skin on the back of your hand.
Oh.
"Shane...?" You offered slowly, carefully.
He exhaled, shakily, and you squeezed his palm -his eyes lingering on it far too long again, "They'd been together for a while. Didn't tell me how long, but I could guess."
You frowned.
"I felt so... so betrayed, and alone-" he started, and there was something heavy in his voice then, "-all I could think about was you."
"Rick," you nearly cooed.
"If," he swallowed, looking up to stop the tears from coming out (you had the thought they weren't for the infidelity, not anymore), "-If you felt like this, and 'at's why you left. I just felt so..."
"That's not fair to yourself," you explained, "-you were going through something so different. I-"
"Was I?" He offered, "-Really? 'Cause I think it was the same sort of feelin'-"
"No, no," you responded, "-very different, Rick. You... You hadn't been kicked out of your own will, I... I was. I can't imagine what you went through."
"You kinda can," he hummed out, and you got the impression he was talking about your feelings. Sure, you'd been heartbroken for years but that was nothing compared to the betrayal he'd experienced.
"Rick, we never-" you cleared your throat before starting again, "-I never said anything. There was nothing built up like you were with Lori, the walls didn't crumble. It was just... me."
He seemed like he wanted to say something in particular to you then, but he seemed to swipe it out of his head. Like maybe he was waiting.
"They're gettin' married," he exhaled, and your heart froze, "-'s why I was 'ere. Shane's bachelor party."
"Jesus Christ, Rick, what the hell-"
"Don't worry 'bout me," he looked at you, straight in the eyes, "-I'm past it, really. Just... brings up a lot."
"I know, but still-" you hissed out, a little frustrated, "-maybe I can show up uninvited and spill wine on her dress. Ooh, or stomp on Shane's toes-"
Rick laughed then, and you felt something in your gut warm at the noise, even more, when you saw the smile slip across his lips. There was something in his eyes that was twinkling and warm, you couldn't quite name it but had seen it before.
"Shane told me a few years back," he suddenly spoke, eyes focused on you -you wanted to squirm a little in your seat.
"Told you what? About him and Lori?"
"No, that you..." he clarified, words stuttering to a stop. Something in your gut snapped, and words just started coming out.
"Look, Rick," you echoed, a little distantly, but meaning all the same, "-you don't have to pity me. I know it's been a long fucking time, since we were kids, but-"
His face seemed to slow, something in his mind, "Since we were kids?"
Shit.
"Forget that I said that," you cleared your throat, mind running a mile a minute and feeling the fluster crawl up your throat (you tried to pull away your hand but he kept it tight), "-please. This is embarrassing enough."
"It's not," he spoke, comforting, "-don't be embarrassed. I'm just... I'm shocked. I never knew 'at... as far as high school?"
You sighed, succumbing, "Before I even met you. I was a member of the school population, about 80 percent of those people were into you so-"
"Yeah, sure," he hummed, a little in disbelief, "-but you?"
You didn't know exactly what that meant or what to say to that. It almost seemed like he was saying that you were leagues above him which was... unbelievable to say the least.
"I didn't know you were an option," he mumbled out, "-at all. I thought..."
"You really can't be this surprised."
"I am!" He offered in response, and you absent-mindedly noticed that he was still holding your hand. You tugged at it but he still didn't let up.
"There were other tutors, ya know," Rick mumbled out, slow and in a barely-there whisper.
"Of course," you laughed, "-it's high school."
"I didn't," he started, fidgeting with your hand, grip still solid but he was playing with your fingers, "-I didn't actually need the tutoring."
"Why would you-"
"'Thought ya were cute," he offered, and you swallowed heavily -trying again to pull your hand away. Focus. What could you even focus on anymore?
"Rick, don't-" your voice shook, and you pulled your hand back finally, "-don't do that."
"Do what?" He questioned, big blue eyes and your stomach was twisted in knots. You couldn't do this, not now.
"There's no," you echoed out, standing up and taking steps away from him, "-there was no us, and it's been five years. You don't even know me anymore."
"I want to," he stood, matching your eyes -something in him nearly pleading, "-I really want to."
You took a shaky breath in, taking some more steps back, "Rick, your mind is not clear. Your ex-wife is marrying the man she had an affair with, you are just lonely. And I will not be wanted because... because you just want to feel loved."
"I'm not," he breathed, desperately like the oxygen was being sucked out of his lungs, "-Y/N, I'm not-"
"I won't," you repeated, your eyes getting foggy and voice shaky, "-I won't, Rick. That's not fair."
"Look at me, sweetheart," he was soft and gentle, stepping forward and tilting your face up with his hands, "-I'm not."
"You-"
"I've had years to... to process me and Lori," he explained, slow and patient, "-and a few months after 'at Shane told me. I've had years to... to process you."
"I don't-" you exhaled.
"'S all new to me, but-" He dropped his hands to yours -wrapping his around them, "-I know I feel somethin'. Felt somethin' even then, I just didn't... know it."
"Rick, please," you hummed out, "-I can't do this. I really can't. It's been years-"
"I came lookin' for ya for a reason," he continued, moving his head to match your eyes, "-Shane didn't just drop me off. I got drunk for courage, and I don't think either of us knew just how much."
"You were here for me? I thought you said-"
"'Is bachelor party was a few cities over," he explained, "-Shane recognized the city name, and we got a cab."
"That is so stupid," you chastised, "-is Shane still out there? You guys could've-"
"He called Lori," he quickly interrupted, trying to soothe you, "-Think she picked 'im up."
"You think?"
"No, okay, she did," he reassured, his hands coming to rest on your arms, "-I know I wouldn't 'ave left if she didn't."
"Good," your breaths slowed, "-okay."
"Y/N," he started again, and you just couldn't.
"No, don't-" you began, but then you looked at him. Really looked at him. He was looking at you so carefully, like if he said a wrong word, you'd disappear. Or maybe like he could hardly believe you were standing in front of him.
Maybe he really-
You pursed your lips, letting out a long sigh, "Okay, look. I'll make you a deal."
Rick raised an eyebrow but still seemed so very eager. Excited even, you bit back a smile.
"When's the wedding?" You asked, gears turning in your head.
"A few months from now," he answered, and you could tell he was a little confused -the furrow of his brow and quirk of his lip. He was still so much the same.
"If you," you held his hands between the two of you, "-if you still feel the same then, we'll talk."
"'At's-" he opened his mouth.
"Your best friend and ex-wife are getting married, Rick," you reiterated, "-you do not have a clear mind, I can't believe it. But if you, by some miraculous reason, do, your feelings shouldn't change."
He pursed his lips, something shadowing over his face, sighing, "Okay."
"Don't make that face," you groaned, "-what I'm saying is completely sensible."
"It is," he agreed before his features fell into something else, "-just didn't wanna wait anymore, I guess."
"You're not going to guilt me, Grimes."
His eyes twinkled -mischievously, settling into a blinding smile and throwing your hands down in defeat, "'S worth a try."
"Plus," you added, "-we can catch up on what we missed. Might be nice."
"Ya don't 'ave to convince me anymore," he laughed, "-I'm doin' it."
You smiled at that, and his only got brighter because of it. You schooled your racing heart back into place.
"Friends?" You offered your hand for a shake -expectantly.
He smiled then, it reached his eyes and was all crinkly, "Friends."
#its griming time#rick grimes#stuff n' thangs#rick grimes x reader#rick grimes x y/n#rick grimes x you#rick grimes x y/n fanfiction#drunk on you#rick grimes oneshot#rick grimes twd
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I’ve seen lots of conversation on here about Zutara shippers opinions on aang and mai and i thought I’d give my point of view.
I want to start by saying that I think there should be more of a distinction between disliking a character because they are a bad person and disliking a character because they are written badly. With that being said, I can confidently say that, with the material of the main ATLA show, I dislike Aang and Mai because they are badly written characters. Meaning, if their arcs were properly finished, I would have no problems with them. This brings me to another topic of how I don’t really ‘hate’ characters who are bad people if they’re well written but that’s a conversation for another post.
I need to point out that I didn’t start disliking Aang and Mai until they had their arcs undermined when Kataang and Maiko became canon. With the arcs they were going on, they had so much potential to be really interesting and I enjoyed their personalities.
When it comes to Aang, I had no problem with him as a character until season 3 part 2 when I started to realize that his world view (which is flawed based solely on the fact that he is young and there is no way he’s going to have a nuanced pov) was not going to be challenged. Aang should have had to give up katara. Aang should not have just had everything handed to him with the lion turtle and the pointy rock.
Then there’s the southern raiders which I would argue, if Aang’s arc had been completed, would not illicit as many conversations and arguments about it as it currently has. Because his actions in that episode make sense (Sokkas don’t really but again-that’s another story) because he’s a kid. This episode should have been a big decider of his change in worldview. The problem is that the creators decided his flaws didn’t exist and that he was perfect. (At 12 years old?!?!?)
Then there’s Mai. She’s a much smaller character but that doesn’t mean she deserves less of an arc. Mai is a character whose personality I love! (I’m all for gloomy depressed women!) There’s two ways Mai’s character could have developed, and I think both options are great, the problem is that Bryke decided to go in neither direction.
On the one hand, Mai could have been a representation of unlearning the propaganda she was taught in the fire nation throughout her whole life. I think this direction would make Maiko more believable, although I still don’t think they are a good couple because their personalities create a toxic dynamic and Mai’s story with Zuko is meant to represent that toxicity.
The second option would be to have her views not change, like we see in the show, and have her not get back together with Zuko. This is the more interesting path in my opinion because it’s more realistic. I don’t think the problem with Mai’s arc lies with her personal views of the fire nation, more so with her relationship with Zuko. As we have it in the show, Mai’s views don’t change. Therefor, it doesn’t make sense for her character or for Zuko’s for them to get back together like nothing ever happened.
When it comes down to it. Both Aang and Mai had their arcs sabotaged because the creators rejected Zutara. Even without Zuko and Katara getting together these were the wrong decisions. Both characters had potential to be well written, but in the end, the creators chose the path didn’t allow that to happen because they just couldn’t kill their darling. (Kataang)
Sorry for rambling, this is kind of just my take on the whole “Zutara shippers hate Aang and Mai” take.
#is this a meta?#atla#avatar the last airbender#anti aang#anti Mai#anti kataang#anti maiko#anti bryke#zutara#ayo fuck bryke all my homies hate bryke#atla critical#aang critical#Mai critical
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One Random Headcanon for each OM Character
Lucifer has a small collection of non-cursed records stashed away in his room, which he sometimes listens to them when he feels like it. He used to get one record as a souvenir every time he goes to the human world, but he stopped doing that once they stopped selling records. Though he was happy that records were back in the market again, he was surprised that they’re now treated as luxury items for super fans of various artists.
Mammon isn’t the kind of guy that’s knowledgeable on animals, but he’s an expert on crows and ravens. He can tell which is which and knows a lot of fun facts about them. You could say they’re his favorite animals.
Leviathan, whenever he needs some time to himself, he dives into the aquarium in his room (in his demon form of course) and just relaxes in there. He finds the underwater sounds very calming.
Satan could’ve been a huge Warrior Cats fan if he was introduced to the series.
Asmodeus can actually glow under UV light. More specifically his eyes, horns, and wings. His horns and wings glow cyan while his eyes glow a striking magenta, almost making his eyes the center of attention while dancing under the UV lights.
Beelzebub can accurately guess someone or something’s weight just by holding them. It’s a skill he learned and mastered throughout the years, in fact he thinks his skill is more accurate than a scale. He can also tell if someone lost or gained weight.
Belphegor does NOT do well with coffee. Sure he can get energized after he drinks it, but the second the effects wear off, he falls straight to the floor and goes to sleep.
Diavolo gained his habit of sneaking out the castle due to his desire to enjoy the things he and his father has given to his subjects, he wants to experience the wonders of everyday life. He wants to enjoy as much of it as possible before he's crowned king, as he knows that opportunity would be striped away as soon as he's king.
Barbatos once teased MC by saying exactly what they were gonna say before they could even finish a sentence. The classic “stop copying me!”
Simeon has tried his hand in writing fanfiction before, but just like his writing, he accidentally predicts future events that will happen in whatever series he’s writing for.
Luke tried to prove that he’s not just a kid by renting and watching a horror movie. He couldn’t get past the first scary scene without covering his eyes and whimpering in fear.
Solomon’s very first dish he ever made was an odd combination of mash potatoes and milk, as a weird way to recreate soup. He recalls enjoying it when he made it for the first time.
Raphael’s flavor palate is completely messed up, he can hardly taste any flavor of anything he eats, even things that would usually make a person sick. But he didn’t get this from birth, he got it after a poorly executed prank. He ate a cupcake covered in magma salt and it literally burnt his tongue. But he sort of sees his lack of taste as a blessing, now he can enjoy any kind of food without any judgement on how good it is. …Though this made him a really bad cook.
Thirteen, in all her years of reaping souls, has come to hate people who risk their lives because they think whatever they were doing is cool. Why risk their lives just to do that dangerous stunt? Or do some silly challenge that’s clearly too dangerous for them to handle? She just doesn’t get it. She becomes a lecturing mother towards any stupid human that managed to live after their dangerous stunt, as a way to teach them to NOT risk their lives again.
Mephistopheles may love taking care of horses, but show him any of those horse girl shows or movies? He’ll just roll his eyes and scoff at it. Taking care of these majestic creatures is not some quirky girly hobby in his eyes, and the fact there’s a whole genre of this brings him great shame.
#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me headcanons#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me diavolo#obey me barbatos#obey me simeon#obey me luke#obey me solomon#obey me raphael#obey me thirteen#obey me mephistopheles
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HELLO MY FELLOW TRAVELERS!
I, like many viewers, have been completely entranced by Hawk and Tim’s love story in Fellow Travelers. As a mature queer person, this show has been very emotional, and I am deeply invested. (I WILL riot if Tim doesn’t get to die in Hawk’s arms, and know that he is, and has always been, loved by Hawk.) But I digress.
Something that I have been fascinated by are the differing opinions that have surfaced about the characters, especially Hawk. I’m not looking for any arguments here, everyone is entitled to their opinion, and this is simply mine. To me, Hawk falls hard and fast for Tim. He breaks all his own rules for Tim - they topple over like a house of cards.
When we are introduced to Hawk, he’s cold and heartless with the men he hooks up with - they are nothing more than a body to fulfil his sexual needs and desires. He doesn’t do repeats and he doesn’t bring them home. But Tim, he instantly begins returning to, gets him a job, then allows him into his own apartment, etc. When Tim pushes back, Hawk relents further, letting him in emotionally, sharing parts of his past, crossing lines by introducing him to others in his circle, and so on.
Hawk is a traumatised man, carrying guilt and anger and shame, and a bucket load of fear! Yes, he has some internalised homophobia, but interestingly, he’s also extremely righteous about his homosexuality -and I don’t believe he thinks being gay is wrong in any way. (His response to his father is indicative of this).
I can personally say that I’ve never thought it was wrong to be queer, yet I spent much of my life hiding who I was and feeling shame. It’s an odd thing! Perhaps it is that the shame forms purely from what is outside of us, while what is inside of us can love another person of the same sex, knowing it is right and pure. Perhaps these contradictions between self and society are what causes so much pain and conflict?
But back to Hawk. Hawk is undoubtedly most affected by his teenage first love experience. A love that he fucked up through his own fears (fear for many men is unacceptable and a sign of weakness), and now carries the burden of believing he is responsible for their death. Hawk doesn’t allow himself to love again, until Tim. And we see many times throughout the show how much Hawk fears losing Tim. And in the end he’ll have to face that fear. I think that, in part, not attempting to have a life with Tim, is also fuelled by his fear of fucking it up and losing Tim - so it’s easier to just not attempt it! In episode 7, when he loses his son, part of that spiral is Hawk recognising that he can’t really prevent loss, and he wasted his life trying to be something he’s not - still losing his child and Tim along with it.
But Hawk is a survivor! And no one has the right to hate or judge him for it. I don’t think some young people truly understand what it feels like to live in a world where who you love can put you in jail, and destroy your life. I grew up in the 70s/80s and my experiences were bad enough, but I try so very hard to think about what it was like before that! When being queer was a crime and a mental illness! That’s pure terror! And for Hawk, he chose to survive the best way he knew how, and he wasn’t able to change because that’s fucking hard when all you’ve known is living in constant ‘fight or flight,’ and when have chronic trauma and experience collective trauma.
I think in episode 8 we’ll finally get to see Hawk grow - I certainly hope so - because he deserves to be free. Our beautiful Skippy has been free for some time, and while we mourn for the cruelty of a world that would take such a truly decent man, I am glad he got to live freely. Being closeted is the worst kind of suffering- a compartmentalised and fragmented existence where you are never truly whole, and therefore can never be the best version of yourself.
Before I go, I just wanted to also talk about being in a closeted relationship-which I experienced in my youth. I think that Hawk and Tim’s intense and toxic and exquisitely beautiful relationship, in part, arises from this. Because two closeted people in love live their relationship in secret, in a bubble, only in certain rooms, with none of the outside world reflected back at them. It becomes the two of you against the world. It’s so insular. Hawk and Tim literally live their 1950s relationship within two rooms - their apartments. All their memories are held within those walls. And it only belongs to them. They know each in ways that no other living soul does. It’s all-consuming and often unhealthy, but also stupidly romantic.
Anyway, sorry for this long winded post that no one will read and is likely full of grammatical errors because I’m tired! This atheist is praying we get everything we need from episode 8! Acceptance, forgiveness, understanding resolution, healing and a whole lot of love! ❤️
Cheers queers! 🏳️🌈
PS Matt and Johnny are exquisite on and off screen and I am so thankful to them for bringing these characters and this story into our lives!
#fellow travelers#hawk and tim#hawkins fuller#tim laughlin#hawk and skippy#matt bomer#jonathan bailey#lgbtqia#queer media
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Can you please do possessive/ jealous souske hc with female humans reader please?
Possessive and jealous Aizen with a female human reader.
Starring: Aizen Sosuke x f!reader;
Format: head canons;
Warnings: jealousy and slight yandere behavior, possessiveness, marking the partner, mention to sexual intercourse but nothing descriptive, mention to murder, kind of toxic relationship, slight choking.
Plot: how would a possesive and jealous Aizen act with his female human girlfriend?
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• The moment his eyes landed on you, he knew he would have never let you go. Why? Not only you are the most beautiful woman he has ever seen in his whole life, but your human nature makes you vulnerable. What kind of man would he be if he let his little doe all alone, where other men and his enemies could harm you or simply look at you?
• Aizen is the kind of man who wants everyone to know who you belong to. He does not think that resting his hand on the small of your back as two walk together is a sign of weakness. A powerful man, a god, always has a sweet, lovely girl by his side anyway. He therefore tends to show you off and makes it loud and clear that you are his property. If his arm is not settled on the small of you back, he grasps your hand and gently brushes his thumb on the back of yours.
• If he needs to call a reunion with his underlings, you are obviously going to attend it too. Do not expect to have a chair and sit on it comfortably. His lap is your chair and his hands will constantly hold your hips as you sit on him.
• If he catches a human man, a shinigami or a mere arrancar staring at you for way too long, approximately five seconds, there is a high possibility you are never going to see them ever again. Forever. Maybe in a cemetery.
• “I trust you blindly, my dear. You see, it’s them I don’t trust” he whispers, sipping on his tea on a lazy sunday morning, as you start to question him about what is wrong. You can see his jealousy and the urge to touch you, to hold you close and own you are dripping from his words.
• Intimacy is hellfire with him. He is an attentive lover and would never hurt you, unless you want him to. Yet, bitemarks and hickeys are now a permanent tattoo on your cleavage and neck. He loves to stare at them in the aftermath and watching people react to them as you walk around is absolutely delightful. The shit-eating grin on his face seems to scream “Yes, I did them”.
• He is not very fond in visiting the world of the livings and he would rather have you in Las Noches all the time. However, he knows you have a life. Working and studying to fulfill your duties and persue a career are valuable things to him too and he does not mind you spending your time in those activies. But he is your shadow. A colleague talks to you way too much? Oh, dear, he won’t even bother calling Gin to take care of him. He personally cuts him into smithereens, pieces too small to be put back together. A man buys you a coffee? Ah, some venom is going to be poured into his one.
• He does not forbid you to talk to people, but he loathes it when you talk to Kisuke Urahara. Do not even glance in his direction.
• He loves you genuinely, there is not denying it, but once he might have scared you a little bit. He was in the world of the livings with you, when he heard the local theatre would have hosted a company of shakespearean actors. The tragedy of “Othello” would have been presented and he bought two tickets for you.
• Throughout the time, he had his eyes on you. You were already pretty shocked as the play unraveled under your wary eyes, until his fingers glided over your throat and wrapped around it in a firm grip. It was tight but not enough to hurt you. Your breath hitched in your throat, his breath fanning your earlobe as your eyes were transfixed on the tragic scene before you. Othello had strangled his loyal wife, Desdemona, out of jealousy.
• “I do believe you got the message, darling. You are mine. The last thing I want is having to strangle you in our bed out of a rumor about your loyalty” he darkly whispered, making you gulp down nervously.
• Regarding the way you sleep, he usually wraps his arm around your waist and buries his face onto the crook of your neck. This way you cannot escape his grip. You are his, how many times does he have to remind you of that?
• Going to the beach is kind of a problem. He does not forbid you to wear bikinis, but he definitely glares at every male around you through his sunglasses. Man on a mission: the real shark is on the beach, not in the ocean.
Tags: @stygianoir
Author note.
Hello there! Woah, I took care of a request and I am kind of proud of this piece. I will probably take care of Urahara’s NSFW ALPHABET next. If you want to be tagged, comment below.
Likes, comments and re-posts are appreciated❤️
#aizen sosuke x reader#aizen x reader#aizen smut#aizen x y/n#bleach x reader#bleach aizen#sosuke aizen x reader#aizen sosuke smut#aizen x you
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One Time Thing
Summary: With every meal, a member of Alexandria that Negan finds himself affectionate for comes down to visit him. On this day, Negan lets Y/N know how he feels about her leading to a sexy moment between the two of them.
Characters: Negan, the reader (OC, third person), etc.
AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47527771
Warnings: 18+, Swearing, smut, oral (male and female receiving), etc.
Notes: I made a challenge for myself to write a short one-shot to go along with a smut prompt sentence. I was given "*this is a one time thing* negan x reader but the one who falls in love first is daddy Negan" ... I hope the person that requested this enjoys it! And if you liked this in any way, please let me know!
Y/N means your name or whatever name you want to add. Do I have to keep saying this or is it pretty well known at this point? Oh well, either way. Enjoy!
Laughter echoed throughout the small, mundane cell that Negan had been locked up in for God knows how long at this point. Pulling his eyes away from the book that he was reading, Negan looked to the window that they had given him to see that sun was pouring in. It was hot. Uncomfortably hot for him at least. It felt like he was being baked inside of his cell, but out there? Kids were playing soccer together having fun. From where Negan was seated at the corner of his cell, he felt a sense of loneliness fill his body when he tipped his head to the side.
The sounds outside reminded him of when he was younger. When him and Lucille lived in their small little home. Every summer the kids would get together and play sports in the middle of the street with one another. Closing his eyes, he still vaguely remembered what it was like back then, but the memory was somewhat of a blur and he hated that.
Huffing, Negan set his book down beside him and pulled apart the buttons of the blue long sleeve that they had him in. Tossing it on top of the small cot, he got more relaxed and slid his feet further out onto the floor. Stretching out his long legs, Negan looked to the door of his cell. Usually he would be having someone coming down to give him his lunch right about now. Most of the time he didn’t care much for visits, but Negan especially looked forward to his meals. Those were the times of the day when someone who had really caught his attention would visit him. Most people at Alexandria snubbed their nose at him. Mocked him or just plain out ignored him. But Y/N, she never did that. In fact, she always initiated a conversation with him. Listened to him. She empathized with him when everyone else just saw a monster.
See the thing is, Negan without meaning to had developed feelings for this woman. With her kindness and her gentle touch, Negan found himself in awe of her. She was beautiful, sweet, charming…everything that was far too good for him, but he couldn’t help having feelings for her. Of course he never told her because he knew that if he did, nothing would come from it. No one would want to be with him. Not when the whole town would shame her if they found out. Getting lost in his thoughts, Negan let out a long sigh. At this point in his life Negan knew he was too far gone for someone else to love.
This morning when it was breakfast time, someone else had showed up with his food which was extremely disappointing. Especially since she was the thing that made his morning for him. Getting information from the Alexandrian that came in this morning was hard, but he was promised that she would be back for lunch. Truthfully? It worried him when she didn’t show up because she had been the one doing it consistently over the last few months. So just knowing that she was okay? That’s all that mattered to him. The only problem was, with her not showing up on time for lunch it just made him worry more.
Forcing himself to start reading again, he knew that if he let his mind linger, he would just start feeling bad for himself again. It was painful enough being locked up here inside of Alexandria. The last thing he needed was his own mind beating the shit out of itself.
“There she is,” Negan’s voice rumbled when the sound of someone’s footsteps pulled him away from the book following the sound of a door closing. Excitement flooded his veins when Y/N finally made it into the room that held his cell. When their eyes connected, Negan set the book down beside him and offered her up a big, cheesy toothy smile that made her smirk. “I didn’t think you were coming. I was worried about you.”
“You? Worried about me?” she spoke up, her eyebrow arching in curiosity when she made her way toward his cell. “Why would you worry about a gal like me?”
“Why wouldn’t I worry about a gal like you?” Negan replied noticing the way that her cheeks flushed over with his comment back. Unlike the others, Y/N would actually unlock his cell and take the time to come in to talk to him during his meal which was something he really liked. Loneliness had eaten away at Negan for so long that Y/N had helped heal some of that for him. “You’re the best part of my day.”
Getting into his cell, Y/N brought Negan’s serving tray in with her and closed the door behind her. Holding out the tray, she waited for Negan to accept it before carefully lowering down in beside him so they could sit together, “I’m one of the most boring people here Negan.”
“Not for me you aren’t,” Negan hushed her, his thick eyebrow arching in amusement when she got comfortable in beside him. Noticing that she was wearing a V-neck shirt, it made a wolfish smile press in over his handsome features and he snorted. “Did you wear that for me?”
“I wore it because it’s balls hot outside Negan,” she swatted at his shoulder, getting more comfortable with her back pressed against the wall. “I’m sweating like a pig. I’m sure that’s very appealing to you.”
“You have no idea,” Negan rumbled grabbing the sandwich from his plate and groaning outwardly. “Sandwiches. My favorite.”
“Beggars can’t be choosers,” she nudged him playfully with her elbow hearing him snort before taking a big bite of the egg sandwich that she had brought him. “At least I try to give you variety with your sandwiches.”
“True,” Negan agreed with a mouthful holding his sandwich out for her to take a bite. With a huff, she took a bite making him smile before taking a few more big bites on his own. “You know you like sharing lunch with me.”
“Sometimes I think you make me eat your lunch so you know that I’m not poisoning you,” she watched him finish off the sandwich. Placing her hand over his knee, she caressed over it tenderly making Negan swallow down hard. “I’m just glad you’re eating now. You scared the hell out of me when you weren’t eating.”
“You’re what made me start eating,” Negan whispered poking at one of the sides she had brought him with his meal. It made her turn her head toward him and he cleared his throat. “When you cried about me starving myself to death…I never wanted to see you cry again.”
“I looked that bad, huh?” she hesitated hearing Negan snort before rolling his eyes. “I didn’t mean to cry. I just didn’t want the person I was taking care of to die under my watch.”
“Oh, so you didn’t just care about me or anything?” Negan teased her, setting the tray out in front of them after he finished his lunch. Pouring some of the water she had brought for him out into his hands, Negan splashed some of it onto his face and grumbled. “It’s fucking hot. Between being baked and not being able to come, I think y’all are trying to kill me here.”
“What?” she blurt out, an amused laughter falling from her lungs when he bobbed his head about. “You’re not able to come?”
“Not at all,” Negan alerted her with a frown making her roll her eyes. “Do you know how hard it is to wake up every day with an erection and not be able to do anything about it? I don’t know if it’s because of the environment or what…”
“You’re full of shit,” she chuckled seeing Negan shake his head.
“I wish I was. You can ask the father, more times than I care to admit he has come down here seeing me try to beat one out, but I can’t…” Negan snickered making her cover her eyes and drop her head back against the wall while they both laughed. “I know I’ve had to make him uncomfortable.”
“You’re unbelievable,” she smacked at the center of Negan’s chest making a deep rumble of laughter fall from his throat. “So that’s why I see him going into the church praying so hard? You just burned that image into his soul for life.”
“I think of it as a gift, but it is what it is,” Negan shrugged noticing the way that she looked him over and his nose wrinkled. “What?”
“Sometimes I think you bullshit me to show off,” she explained sliding in closer to Negan making him turn his upper half toward her. Shaking his head, Negan’s dimples sank in and he let out a tsking sound. “See, now…you’re making me jealous that Gabriel has seen you naked.”
“Jealous?” Negan repeated her words with a smirk. “If you want to see my cock Y/N, all you have to do is ask. I’m kind of head over heels for you if you haven’t noticed. So all you have to do is say jump and I’d ask how high.”
“Bullshit,” she breathed out again making Negan’s expression turn very serious. With his eyes gazing over her lips, it made her heart skip a beat and she felt hot at the way he was looking at her. “You’re just charming and flirty.”
“I am those things, but I don’t lie to you,” Negan assured her pressing in closer to her so that their faces were close enough to one another. The warmth of his breath lingered over her lips making a shuddering sound escape her. “I’ve never lied to you. And I never will.”
Faintly his lips skimmed over hers, just barely touching them. It was bold of him to try this because he knew that he might upset her and she would never come back, but he had to let her know how he felt about her. When she didn’t push him away, he brought their lips together and he claimed her mouth in a kiss that was delicate. Taking his time, he allowed her to get used to the sensation of him kissing her before he deepened the kiss. Curling his finger in underneath her chin, he managed to get her to tip her head back. The movement had her lips parting allowing him to brush his tongue over hers in a tempting, teasing flick. With the sound that followed, he felt a fire flooding his veins when he tried to deepen the kiss. Wincing, he felt her hand placing firmly over the center of his chest and he frowned. “Sorry.”
“Place your hands on the floor,” she instructed him making his hazel eyes narrow, his jaw flexing when he didn’t get why she was telling him to do it. “Flat on the ground.”
“I don’t understand,” Negan panted, his heart hammering inside of his chest when she ordered him to put his hands at his side. Licking at his lips, Negan could see that her eyes were dilated with lust so he didn’t think he did anything wrong. “Y/N?”
“Hands flat out on the ground beside you,” she ordered and instead of fighting her, Negan did what she told him to do. There was a slow, uneasy motion in the way he did it, but when his palms flattened out over the ground, she moved in closer to him. Swallowing down, Negan watched her hands reaching out toward his pants to start undoing his belt making a sharp breath escape his lips. “Good boy. We’ll see if we can make you come.”
There were so many things he wanted to say. So many wise crack remarks, but with her fingers swiftly pulling apart the belt in his pants, he found his heart hammering in his chest. It had his body shaking. His lips were parted, the sound of his heavy breaths filling the air around them. With ease she unhooked his belt, tugging it out before reaching for the button in his pants to yank it apart.
“You don’t have to do this,” Negan groaned when she jerked at the material of his pants. Arching his hips up toward her in order for her to be able to do what she wanted when she pulled down the zipper. Licking at his lips, Negan saw that there was determination in her eyes when she pushed the material apart and reached inside to snake her hand between the slit of his boxer briefs in search of his semi-erect form. Pulling Negan’s cock out into her hand had him moaning out. “Y/N.”
“Don’t move,” she demanded when her fingers wrapped around the shaft of his cock, starting to pump his flesh in her grasp. Negan’s head tipped back against the hard wall making her smile. It was taking everything inside of Negan for him not to respond to what she was doing right now. Sliding in closer to Negan, she leaned in to press wet kisses over the side of his neck and heard him growl when she did it. “This is a one time thing. You understand that, right?”
Nodding once, Negan moaned out when she bit at the side of his neck. Licking his lips, Negan wanted to bounce his hips up toward her caress, but he knew that she was specific in telling him what she wanted him to do. Sheathing him in her grasp she took her time to pay attention to Negan’s reaction to every touch. Peppering her kisses up over his jawline, her lips met Negan’s feeling his tense against the kiss making her laugh.
“Relax,” she encouraged making his body loosen up when he eagerly kissed her with everything he had inside of him. In no time she had managed to get him solid within her grasps. Pulling from the kiss, she stared down at Negan’s erection finding her mouth watering at the way he ached in her grasp. The veins were prominent going up the shaft and she took the chance to trace over them making Negan’s hips arch up toward her touch. “You have a nice cock.”
“I know,” Negan noted making her roll her eyes. Stroking her thumb across the ridge of the swollen tip, she couldn’t help but enjoy having her way with Negan like this. “If you think it’s nice like that, you should see how nice it is inside of you.”
“Bold,” she slid in closer to him, leaning in to kiss over his bottom lip. A deep, raspy moan escaped his parted lips when her fingers curled around his girth again working her touch over his distended flesh. “When did you have a bath last?”
“This morning,” Negan responded finding it hard to keep his palms flat on the ground. At this point she had a steady, firm pace that she was jerking him off and his body felt like it was on fire. It had been so long since someone had touched him like this. “Why?”
“Because I want to make sure that what I’m putting in my mouth is clean,” she answered against his lips, unhurriedly lowering herself down making a sharp exhale fall from his throat. Outstretching her tongue, she dragged it over the tip collecting the taste of him with a hum. Lazily taking her time to circle her tongue around the ridges of the tip of his swollen cock had him moaning out. “You have to be quiet.”
“Yes ma’am,” he obeyed her when she lifted her eyes up to give him a firm glare with her hand stroking over his tip. Already he was exceedingly sensitive with her touch so it felt fucking amazing having her doing that. Biting into his bottom lip, he gave her a nod of approval making her smirk. Dropping her head back down, she placed wet kisses over the tip with her tongue dragging out over the flesh in unhurried flicks. It took everything inside of him not to make a noise. Considering she was the first person to touch him in years, he thought he was doing a pretty good fucking job. “Fuck, Y/N.”
“Mmmm…” she hummed taking just the tip between her parted lips making his hips flex, pushing them up a bit toward the wet warmth.
She was teasing him with the drags of her tongue around his tip, down over the length of his shaft and back again. Shaking on his unsteady hands, Negan felt a fire burning through his veins and he couldn’t avoid the faint raspy moan that escaped him when her mouth finally took him in. Bobbing her head down and pulling back lazily while dragging her tongue along his erection had him tensing up beneath her. Keeping his eyes on her movements, Negan wondered if he had fallen asleep and this was something that his mind had conjured up. Having her stroking his shaft in circular motions with her palm with his cock in her mouth was something he could have only dreamt of before. Yet here she was doing what she could to get him to come.
“Please, can I touch you?” Negan begged knowing that she had ordered him to keep his hands on the ground. With a wet sound, Y/N pulled her lips from his glistening length. A line of saliva trailed from her lips to the tip of his cock and it made him moan. Licking her lips, her eyes surveyed him over and she could see the desperation in his big hazel eyes. “Please.”
“Just one,” she allowed with a nod of her head wrapping her other hand around his shaft to pump his girthy length in her grasp. Raising his right hand, Negan stroked his fingers through her hair before his thumb caressed in over her jawline. With her eyes connected on Negan’s, she leaned down enough to take the bulbous head back between her wet lips making him moan out. Every movement over his body, she had her eyes locked on him to see what it did to him making him realize she was a whole lot naughtier than she acted.
“God,” Negan fell forward when she took him as far back into her throat as she could. Palming in over her shoulders, he caressed over her body noticing that she deep throated him a few more times. Panting, Negan looked up toward the window to make sure that no one was noticing the two of them. Right now would have been one of those times where he wished that window didn’t exist. Sinking his fingers into her hair, Negan gave it a gentle tug getting her to pull away from his aching manhood with a smile. “I’m not coming. I think you’re going to have to try harder.”
“Oh?” she marveled her eyebrow arching in curiosity. “Well, if I try harder. You’re going to have to make me come too. I can’t put in the work and not be paid back Negan.”
“Yes ma’am,” Negan pulled her up to him stealing a kiss from her full, wet lips. Suckling at her bottom lip, Negan palmed in over her sides making her purr against his lips. “Get on your knees.”
“Now you’re giving orders?” she quipped, smiling against his lips when he nodded his head. “I don’t know how I feel about that.”
“You can control the ending,” Negan insisted with a rumble, his handsome smile tugging at his lips. “You’ll be thankful. I promise you.”
“I better be,” she retorted getting up to her knees making Negan’s eyes gaze over her. Snickering, he got on his knees and reached out for his pillow. Putting it on the hard ground before his cot, Negan grabbed a hold of her and made her face the cot. Bending her over the cot had her breathing heavily as he made sure that her knees were resting on the pillow. Grabbing the back of her pants, Negan tugged on the material getting it down over her bottom and to her thighs along with her panties. “Negan?”
“Shh…” Negan hushed her palming up over the small of her back pushing the material of her shirt up. Teasing his rough fingertips down her spine had her arching her back up while she braced herself on his cot. “You are so fucking gorgeous.”
Tipping forward he pressed faint kisses over the center of her back while his hands found their way to her hips. Caressing over the flesh with small squeezes had her cooing and it made him wonder what things were like for her outside these walls. Was she with someone out in Alexandria? Was this her first time in a long time too? Grunting, Negan forced her to put her head further down against the cot and pulled her ass up further. Leaning back on his knees, Negan caressed at her full bottom testing the flesh in his grasp.
“You have such a pretty ass baby,” Negan proclaimed lowering down to nip at her flesh making her gasp, but it was followed by an amused sound. Pushing her cheeks apart, Negan moaned at the sight of her before him. “Now that is a beautiful sight.”
Mewling out, her eyes slammed shut when Negan buried his head between her thighs, his tongue lapping at the length of her wet heat. Grasping the sheet that was over his cot and curling it up in her fingers, she was doing everything she could to stay quiet. It was a strange feeling with Negan’s short beard rubbing up against her flesh while he pleasured her, but she liked it. Between the strong flicks of his tongue and the sucking at her flesh, he had her purring and panting with every touch. What made everything even more sensual for her was the way that Negan was moaning against her pussy while he ate her out.
“Negan,” she cried out his name knowing that she would damn herself if someone outside heard her, but she couldn’t keep herself quiet. With how hard her heart was pounding inside of her chest, she didn’t know if she could keep this up. Slurping, wet sounds filled that small cell while Negan had his way with her. He was wild with reckless abandon as he pleasured her like it was the first meal he had in years. Gasping, she felt him pulling away from her to squeeze over her bottom giving it a small spank followed by another squeeze. It had her wiggling her hips back wanting his mouth back over her. A deep rumble of a chuckle followed, but he gave her what she wanted. Dragging his tongue from top down, repeating the motion of his tongue flicking over the length of her sex. “Please…please…”
“Please what?” Negan slurred against her body, sucking at her sensitive flesh feeling her buck back against him.
“Fuck me,” she begged of him feeling everything inside of her aching. Excitement fell from Negan’s throat with him pressing one final wet kiss over her core. Getting up on his knees, he moved in behind her and firmly brought her hips where he wanted them. Looking back over her shoulder at Negan, she watched him reaching for the gray shirt that he was wearing to pull it from his body. Pushing his pants down to the bottom of his waist, Negan curled his long fingers around the base of his cock and teased a line with the tip of his cock between her wet folds. It made her bounce her hips back and a wicked smile flooded his features. “For fuck’s sake, please…”
“Please what?” Negan snorted, tracing his cock up and down several times over her. It was torture and he wasn’t giving her what she truly wanted. Tapping his hard cock against her bottom felt heavy with the smack it gave against her flesh.
“Fuck me now or I will never come back down here to see you again,” she warned with a hiss making Negan frown, his expressive eyebrows adding to his pout.
“Well that’s mean,” he huffed leading the swollen tip of his cock to her entrance. Pushing forward, he slid into her with ease with how wet he had already gotten her making both of them moan in unison. Dropping her head into the sheets, she tried to silence her moan with the way he filled her with his thick length. Pulling back his hips and then pushing forward had her bouncing forward with him filling her to the brim. Each thrust he made got more confident and harder with his hands leading her hips back against him. The smacking sound of their flesh filled the tiny cell while Negan pounded into her. Watching the way his cock filled her made him happier than ever seeing that her arousal was coating his cock. “Fuck…”
Surrounded by the tight walls of her body, Negan found himself lost in the moment while bucking up against her bottom. Her gasps were repetitive with his movements from being stretched by his girthy cock. Digging his fingers into her flesh, Negan wondered if it would be enough to leave marks because he was so desperate to feel all of this.
“Your cock is so big,” she whined biting down on her bottom lip, gazing back over her shoulder at Negan who seemed proud to hear that comment. “Goddamn Negan.”
“You’re not going to want this just to be a one time thing,” Negan rumbled sliding his palms up her sides. Adjusting his body, he leaned over her, hooking his fingers with hers keeping them closer together while he slowed down his tempo. Rolling his hips, Negan took his time making her breathless with every move he made. Kissing over the side of her neck and over her jawline, Negan could tell the change in position had affected her greatly because her cries were more desperate. “Not with how good this feels.”
“Please,” she pleaded with him, squeezing her fingers around his harder trying to bounce back into his movements. “I’m begging you.”
“You’re gonna come?” Negan growled making her nod and desperately kiss him looking to have that connection with him. With his cock rubbing up against her g-spot with every roll of his hips, there was just enough pressure that it was driving her wild with desire. Abandoning inhibitions, all they both focused on was the pure blissful pleasure that they were feeling. Sucking at her bottom lip, Negan hissed and brushed his tongue out at the wet flesh making her whimper. “Come on baby…”
Squeezing her eyes shut, she arched her hips further up toward his loving the sounds it made with his cock plunging into her tight canal with every thrust he made inside of her. Once her thighs started to shake, it seemed like Negan caught onto it with him starting to thrust faster. Letting go of one of her hands, he curled his fingers firmly around her mouth to keep her silent when she cried out into his hand. What sounded like a squeal vibrated against his flesh when Negan was forced to pull his hips back when a hot liquid rush flooded from her and down her thighs. A wet sound filled the air along with the awe that came from Negan when he just had her hit an orgasm that had her a shaking, trembling mess on his cot. Before she could even register what he had just done to her, he was back inside of her pumping away after she came, but everything was so sensitive that she was mewling out. Everything felt like it was spinning and she desperately reached back to try to grab a hold of his hips to get him to move faster. Eagerness flooded her wanting to have that friction again. It was an addictive feeling and she wanted more of it.
Desperately clinging to his other hand had him chuckling in his amusement, “You just made me come. Hard.”
“You don’t say,” Negan mocked, nibbling at her earlobe. “You’re not used to squirting, are you?”
“Get up,” she pulled her hips away from him, surprising him when his cock slid from her warmth. Shakily standing up on her legs, she felt like they were Jell-O. Barely being able to stand on them, she knew if she didn’t get him where she wanted, she would undoubtedly fall. Pointing toward the cot had Negan immediately getting up to scramble to the cot. Sitting at the center of it, Negan braced his back against the wall while she worked her pants completely off along with her shoes. With a smirk, she saw that Negan’s pants were bunched up at his ankles. This was a sight in itself. Negan naked, stroking his engorged cock while he stared up at her. It was a sight to be seen. One she would likely never forget. Crawling in over Negan, she hooked her left arm around his shoulders and reached with her right to lead his throbbing cock back to her entrance. Once she lowered down over his length, it had Negan growling out, his brow line creasing. “Goddamn.”
“Oh, it feels so good, doesn’t it?” Negan grumbled, his eyes desperate to take in her reaction to him getting her to squirt. “I’m jealous. I haven’t had an orgasm yet.”
“You’re going to. I never fail,” she smacked lightly at the side of Negan’s face making him chuckle when she braced herself over his knee with her right hand. Supporting her over him, Negan’s arms wrapped around her while she started to bounce her body over his manhood. Everything tingled and ached, but fuck she wasn’t going to give up until Negan came. “Fuck.”
“You love that big cock, don’t you?” Negan mused his eyebrows bouncing up when he leaned in to kiss her with all the passion that he could build up. “You’re welcome to come down here anytime you’re looking to have an orgasm. My mouth and cock are yours and very willing. Now that I know you’re a squirter, I’m more determined than ever.”
“I bet,” she started quickening her movements over him making the small cot squeak with the movements they were making. “We might break your cot.”
“I don’t care,” Negan panted, his head dropping to watch his cock slipping in and out of her wet core. “I’ll live if it breaks. Just don’t stop…”
Sharp breaths fell from both of them. They were both left aching for more while their movements got harder and rougher. Burying his head against the side of her neck, Negan grasped her hips tightly holding them in place when he started to smack his slender hips up underneath her plunging his lengthy cock inside of her repeatedly. Digging her nails into the center of his chest, she braced onto him with everything that she had knowing that he was trying to make her come again.
“Negan, fucking…” she wailed pulling her hips up and away from him once he managed to get another one out of her. Smacking at his abdomen had him laughing while she tried to brace herself over his body. An immense pressure filled her head, her eyes fuzzing over forcing her to close them to break that feeling of passing out. Being quiet after experiencing what she just had twice was so incredibly hard. “You’re going to fucking kill me.”
“From what?” Negan chuckled, kissing up over the side of her neck while she tremored over him. Negan’s cock twitched with anticipation, eager for a release itself with how dark red the tip looked. “Coming too much?”
“Dehydration,” she responded making Negan burst out in laughter, curling his arm around her waist to bring her back to him. Laying down, he gave her full range to do what she wanted when she braced her hands over his chest again. Taking things easy, she knew that she was so damn sensitive already. Dropping her head back, she could hear the wind from outside and wondered if someone had heard them in here. Even if they did, she didn’t care. This was the best experience she had gotten in years and she was going to get as much out of it as she could. With a wince, Negan lifted his head watching her ride him and the vein at the side of his neck started to bulge with his abdomen sinking in. “There we go…”
“Almost,” Negan’s fingers squeezed over her bottom helping to aid her movements over his pulsating length. Roaring out, Negan felt his climax rippling throughout him with his cum spurting out from the tip. With every downward thrust, Negan watched his arousal with hers covering his aching cock until he pumped her full of his release making her fall over onto his chest. The cot made a hell of a sound that made them both lift their heads half expecting it to break, but when it didn’t it made Negan drop his head back and laugh out. “That was…”
“Incredible,” she finished for him, stroking her fingers through the wet hair covering his chest. “I’m going to be feeling that for days.”
“You don’t want seconds for dinner?” Negan looked down at her, his hazel eyes hooking with hers making her smile. “Trust me, I have a whole lot more cum to give and fill you with. After years of nothing, these suckers are ready to give back…”
“You are so immature,” she watched Negan reach down to drag his fingers over his testicles. A groan fell from his throat when she hit him at the center of his chest. “I’m sorry about your pillow…and your bed.”
“Don’t apologize for that,” Negan placed a kiss over her forehead, his chest rising and falling rapidly while he tried to calm down. “I’m actually fucking proud of that. So never apologize. I wear the dampness with honor. Not only are you the first to make me come in a long time, but you’re also the woman I find myself having feelings for.”
“You…” she lifted her head up to see the nervousness in his eyes. “You what?”
“I love you,” Negan was quiet in the way that he delivered it, unsure of how she would respond. “And not just because I made you squirt and you made me come. Because I love you. You’re the one thing that I look forward to every day. And I’m sorry if that ruins this whole thing for you because I really fucking love you, but with the way shit is these days you never fucking know if something is going to happen so you should really get that…”
“Negan,” she covered his lips after he started to ramble off in a worried panic. Smirking, she shook her head and smiled. Lowering her head down, she rest it in over his chest to get comfortable.
At this point he didn’t know if she felt the same way, but with her cuddling into him, he didn’t take that as a bad sign. Nor was he going to turn her down. Wrapping her up in his arms, Negan knew that at any time someone could come down here and see them together, but he didn’t care. This was fucking perfect and he was going to cherish it for as long as he could.
----
Tags: @slutlanna976 @fuckthis-and-fuckthat @jennydehavilland @de-gabyconamor @ibelongtonegan @smallsadjellyfish @labyrinthofheartagrams @msjamesmarch @thebeautysurrounds @hotfornegan @redmercysugar @caprithebunny @tuttifuckinfruitty @emoryhemsworth @a-girl-interupted @akumune @stoneyggirl2 @xsarcasticwriterx @insertneganhere @haleygreen23 @xhannahbananax03 @sanctuaryforthelost @burningredaffair @killaweiser @dead-of-niight @ayumi-wolf @hollyismentallyillhelp @nt-multi-fandom @tone-stark @strawberryslutera
#Negan#Jeffrey Dean Morgan#negan x reader#negan fanfiction#The Walking Dead#twd fanfiction#negan x you#negan imagine#negan smut
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a/n: all over the place lmfao, fluff with hotch <3 very rushed lolz!!
let me know if you'd like one with spencer or a nsfw one 🤍
aaron hotchner ♡ who swore to himself that love simply wasn't meant to be after haley passed was now helping baking with you, frowning playfully when your fingers hover over the chocolate chips and placing them on top of the fridge when you keep eating them all. he sighs after a few minutes and gives them back to you, your pout too cute to resist but you make up for it with kisses. they taste sweeter to him anyway <33
aaron hotchner ♡ who worked to the bone as an escape from his personal life, finds himself becoming anxious when he's delayed and suddenly working overtime. he has to try to resist the temptation to become frustrated since he is the unit chief after all, but the fact that you're waiting for him at home is enough for him to risk his job and drop everything and run straight into your arms. he tries to reign in his impatience but it's hard when every precious minute that ticks by, he could be bundled up in your arms and watching a movie together. he doesn't care which one, so long as it makes you happy. and when he finally does rush back home, the very first thing he does is take you in his arms and kiss your sleepy face with such tenderness it warms your whole body <33
aaron hotchner ♡ who used to spend the nights alone in his bed, hating to go to sleep because he wouldn't have any restful dreams now looked forwards to the snuggles you'd give him curled up in the bed. needing your body weight on him as if a weighted blanket to help him and keep him calm throughout the night. it's the way your body molds so perfectly to his, your hands interlaced, he can overcome anything like this. such a love couldn't be allowed with him being a high profile fbi agent, admittedly it was difficult finding the line between work and pleasure. but unlike all the failed attempts before you, you were the first to actually listen and understand his situation. the first to be sympathetic and knowing at how delicate the line had to be. he didn't like lying to you but you never put him in that position to ever do so. his dreams are much sweeter with you now <33
aaron hotchner ♡ who walked around with a stern frown and a set face now breaks into a small smile whenever he sees you near. his dimples are more prone to showing around you more even when he doesn't realise it. many a times has morgan and emily tease him when he's leaning against his chair deep in thought with a soft smile on his lips as he thinks of you. he doesn't have the energy to hide it anymore. he rolls his eyes when they make comments but he knows deep down they're true. he's happier with you, he's become better with you. you've got him wrapped your pretty lil finger and don't he know it <33
aaron hotchner ♡ who was used to being an only parent for years was shocked at how kind and willing you were to jack as if he was your son. how understanding you'd be to tuck him in whenever he worked the long cases. he can't count how many times he's been lost, leaning against the doorway while he sees his son and you, absorbed together in a show or a book and how much fun you both have together in an activity. he could only stand there as the warmness creeps through his heart like a ray of sun, hearing the beautiful sounds of your laughter mixed with jack's. how innocent and carefree you both sounded, the delightful harmony always played in his head whenever he thinks of the two of you <33
aaron hotchner ♡ who was always fine doing things himself since he didn't have anyone to rely on now had separation anxiety when you were gone too long. he calms himself down as best as he can but when you're not in his arms for long, he's prone to becoming anxious. he doesn't want to be clingy or unbearable but you're his anchor in this treacherous world. keeping him grounded when his world has tilted on his axis. his calmness when there's trouble and his relief when the hardships are there. suddenly all the boring and menial tasks such as cooking and shopping are so much fun with you as you both playfully argue over what to buy. he always picks you up a treat no matter what, you're just his love <33
aaron hotchner ♡ who thought his world ended when haley died found renewed comfort in a new world waiting for him with you as he waited for you teary eyed at the end of the aisle. trying to hold back the tears because you look like an angel, an angel he didn't even know he deserved to have. you always reassure him but as you walk closer and closer, he just wants to take you in his arms and never let you go. the second your hands touch his, a shiver of delights runs through his body and calms his mind. you were his and he was yours, certainly no doubt about it. the years may not have been kind to him but you were a beacon of light throughout it all, this time you were his knight in shining armour. you saved him, even when he didn't realise it <33
and finally, aaron hotchner ♡ who thought it would be him and jack alone together now had you and a baby girl. his eyes shining with tears, kissing your forehead as he looks to the baby sleeping on your chest. he has jack in his arms, looking at his family with pure adoration. and when he gets the chance to hold the baby girl that he helped make, the tears fall all over again as he strokes her small forehead. noting all the similarities she had with you and him. watching jack hold her with shock and adoration at the prospect of his new sibling.
finally thanking the universe for his rock and now, his two kids <33
#aaron hotchner x reader#criminal minds fanfiction#aaron hotchner#criminal minds#aaron hotchner x reader fanfiction#aaron hotch x reader#aaron hotch imagine#aaron hotch hotchner#aaron hotch fanfiction#aaron hotchner x reader fluff#aaron hotchner x y/n
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