I’ve seen lots of conversation on here about Zutara shippers opinions on aang and mai and i thought I’d give my point of view.
I want to start by saying that I think there should be more of a distinction between disliking a character because they are a bad person and disliking a character because they are written badly. With that being said, I can confidently say that, with the material of the main ATLA show, I dislike Aang and Mai because they are badly written characters. Meaning, if their arcs were properly finished, I would have no problems with them. This brings me to another topic of how I don’t really ‘hate’ characters who are bad people if they’re well written but that’s a conversation for another post.
I need to point out that I didn’t start disliking Aang and Mai until they had their arcs undermined when Kataang and Maiko became canon. With the arcs they were going on, they had so much potential to be really interesting and I enjoyed their personalities.
When it comes to Aang, I had no problem with him as a character until season 3 part 2 when I started to realize that his world view (which is flawed based solely on the fact that he is young and there is no way he’s going to have a nuanced pov) was not going to be challenged. Aang should have had to give up katara. Aang should not have just had everything handed to him with the lion turtle and the pointy rock.
Then there’s the southern raiders which I would argue, if Aang’s arc had been completed, would not illicit as many conversations and arguments about it as it currently has. Because his actions in that episode make sense (Sokkas don’t really but again-that’s another story) because he’s a kid. This episode should have been a big decider of his change in worldview. The problem is that the creators decided his flaws didn’t exist and that he was perfect. (At 12 years old?!?!?)
Then there’s Mai. She’s a much smaller character but that doesn’t mean she deserves less of an arc. Mai is a character whose personality I love! (I’m all for gloomy depressed women!) There’s two ways Mai’s character could have developed, and I think both options are great, the problem is that Bryke decided to go in neither direction.
On the one hand, Mai could have been a representation of unlearning the propaganda she was taught in the fire nation throughout her whole life. I think this direction would make Maiko more believable, although I still don’t think they are a good couple because their personalities create a toxic dynamic and Mai’s story with Zuko is meant to represent that toxicity.
The second option would be to have her views not change, like we see in the show, and have her not get back together with Zuko. This is the more interesting path in my opinion because it’s more realistic. I don’t think the problem with Mai’s arc lies with her personal views of the fire nation, more so with her relationship with Zuko. As we have it in the show, Mai’s views don’t change. Therefor, it doesn’t make sense for her character or for Zuko’s for them to get back together like nothing ever happened.
When it comes down to it. Both Aang and Mai had their arcs sabotaged because the creators rejected Zutara. Even without Zuko and Katara getting together these were the wrong decisions. Both characters had potential to be well written, but in the end, the creators chose the path didn’t allow that to happen because they just couldn’t kill their darling. (Kataang)
Sorry for rambling, this is kind of just my take on the whole “Zutara shippers hate Aang and Mai” take.
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The Argument Against Maiko
Maiko is one of ATLA’s most controversial ships, for there has been much ink spilled on why Zuko and Mai are not compatible with each other.
For those who think Mai is bad for Zuko point out that Mai was perfectly fine with hunting Zuko during S2, convinced Jin, an untrained civilian, to try and hit an fish on top of Zuko’s head, would have remained perfectly fine with the war if not for Zuko’s defection, was only mad at Zuko’s defection because of the way he broke up with her, and told him to never break up with her ever again during the first time they saw each other after the war ended.
Meanwhile, those who think Zuko is bad for Mai point out his possessive, toxic behavior towards her during “The Beach”, him keeping his conflicting loyalties from her to the point that he left the Fire Nation, as well as broke-up with her, without telling her in person, and never spared a thought on screen as to what happened to her after he saw her betray Azula to keep him and his allies alive.
In fact, despite his coronation taking place at least a couple of days after the Final Agni Kai, he never thinks about whether or not Mai is alive, or to take her and her best friend out of prison if they are still alive.
And there are those who think they are both bad for each other because they are both introverts who tend to bottle up their emotions until they burst, on top of having possessive and jealous tendencies, and so they bring out the worst out in each other.
However, I think all of these complaints are easily rebutted by the fact that Zuko and Mai are abused, isolated teenagers who have no real good examples of healthy relationships and know what happens to those who don’t toe the line.
Moreover, Mai was sheltered from the harsh realities of the war for most of her life until she got thrown in prison after committing treason considering she was a noblewoman who only left her bubble of privilege to join Azula’s hunting party.
Meanwhile, Zuko, for good reason, couldn’t tell Mai about his conflicting loyalties since she was Azula’s friend at first, and so he runs the very real risk that she tells Azula and/or Ozai about his conflicting loyalties and ends up dead or worse as a result.
Additionally, just because we never saw Zuko on screen angst about what happened to Mai after the Boiling Rock doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. And trying to assert his authority after Ozai and Azula were disposed of must have been a nightmare that required his 24/7 attention when he wasn’t getting treatment for his still painful lightning wound, so it makes sense why Mai slipped his mind.
Also, just because they are very similar people with similar bad habits doesn’t not mean they are incompatible. In fact, most successful relationships occur when the partners are similar to each other.
Not to mention, if they managed to learn that following orders is no excuse, why can't they learn to grow out their bad habits, especially when they have the rest of their lives ahead of them, love each other dearly, and are stubborn enough to not give up on their relationship?
Like to be quite honest, most of the hate Maiko gets is because the ship prevented one or more of people’s self-inserts from getting together.
Especially those who self-insert as Zuko, and thus ship him with other characters like Jin, Ty Lee, or even Azula, since they can’t see themselves in a long-term relationship with Mai because she is too abrasive for their liking, too willing to stand up for herself for their liking, and/or not hot enough for them.
However, I think there are some legitimate arguments against Maiko on both sides of the ship.
For on Zuko’s end, I think a thing that is often swept under the rug is the fact that he selfishly let Azula out to find Mommy without asking Mai or Ty Lee, Mai’s best friend and the person who saved her from certain death at the Boiling Rock, how they felt about it, or granting them and/or their families adequate protection like a 24/7 protection detail as long as Azula was free and unbound.
Especially after he loses Azula, causing the two of them to constantly live in fear of Azula's retaliation, a fear that was justified considering Azula manipulated Ukano, kidnapped Tom Tom, and only didn't go further because she became a non-sexual yandere for Zuko.
Like people get on Mai for not thinking about Zuko's needs, but Zuko clearly disregarded her needs, and therefore needs to be called out for it.
Moreover, he needs to take active steps rectify his mistakes, like asking the White Lotus to hunt down Azula and her associates, as well as take action to make sure he doesn’t do something that could negatively impact Mai and/or her loved one’s lives again without at least asking Mai about it.
Meanwhile, Mai broke up with Zuko for going to Ozai for advice after his support group ghosted him, something that I support since if Zuko wants to trust Ozai over her after everything, then he needs to learn to not take her (nigh) unconditional support for granted.
However, she then hides the fact that Ukano was leading the New Ozai Society, a secret that would have not only killed Zuko if not for him ass-pulling dragon fire redirection, but also directly contributed to the Fire Warriors kidnapping Kiyi among others like her own brother.
And when called out for her treason, Mai has the gall to respond that Zuko should understand how hard it is to turn on your father, like there is any comparison between Ukano and Ozai.
“But is there a comparison? If anything, with Ozai being more imperialistic and evil, it should've been easier for Zuko to understand, not harder.”
Personally, I don’t think so since the consequences of betraying Ozai were much more severe than the consequences of betraying Ukano. For Ozai was essentially the god-emperor of the Fire Nation with legions of assassins and armies at his command making it so his reach basically spanned the entire world save for the Northern Water Tribe.
Moreover, he was so strong that even without the Comet, a three-element Aang, a metalbending Toph, and Sokka post-sword training refused to fight him after the eclipse was over, despite Azula telling them where he was.
In addition, Ozai already tried killing him twice before his defection to the Avatar, and would have succeeded in his attempt to kill Zuko after Zuko announced his defection if not for Zuko knowing how to redirect lightning, a technique that Ozai had no awareness of at the time.
Meanwhile, Ukano is a physically and mentally weak sycophant who may have emotionally abused Mai as she was growing up, but also did nothing to her after she trashed his New Ozai Society hideout and left knowing where said hideout was, as well as the fact that he was leading a pro-Ozai terrorist cell.
Moreover, she already betrayed Ukano when she decided to save Zuko and his allies in the Boiling Rock, for she didn’t just betray Azula there, but also betrayed the Fire Nation as well by helping a traitor and several high-value POWs escape.
In addition, unlike Zuko when he decided to “betray” Ozai, Mai already had friends and allies in the other nations when she found out about Ukano’s leadership of the New Ozai Society. In fact, she is friends with Aang and is on such good terms with the Kyoshi Warriors that she called them to protect Zuko when his original guards were failing to do so.
So, why would she essentially not only betray Zuko, but also her new friends and allies as well? Doesn’t she understand how badly they could get hurt if the Fire Nation devolves into civil war, or god forbid, if Ozai somehow manages to take the throne again?
Not to mention, Zuko is obviously not going to put people’s heads on a pike like his forefathers would have for treason. So it is not like Ukano was facing life or death consequences, or worse, if Mai decided to snitch on him earlier like Zuko faced when he decided to defect and told Ozai in his face.
So no, there is no comparison, and to make one is to severely downplay the threat that was Ozai.
“Ok, ok, maybe you have a point, but I still have a question for you: are they still able to redeem themselves after this (assuming they have Izumi together)? For Zutarians, and other shippers in general, often use arguments like yours to say Maiko is beyond reconciliation, even though a lot of their issues are not unique to them, and I just hate it!”
For the record, I am not a Zutarian, but instead a Maiko shipper (all of my works that have shipping in them have Maiko in them in some shape or form), but I wanted in good faith to acknowledge the best argument against Maiko.
But to address the above argument, just because Maiko has problems doesn’t mean they aren’t fixable, for the comics have a lot of issues, but one of the few things I liked about it was the fact that they had Maiko break up.
This is because while its execution was terrible to say the least, the comics recognized the need for Zuko and Mai to spend some time apart, as well as some soul searching and growing, before deciding to spend the rest of their lives together.
For in Zuko’s case, considering he barely spent two years as Crown Prince, he is severely lacking in knowledge when it comes to being Fire Lord, especially since he has to be everything that Sozin, Azulon, and Ozai, his most recent predecessors, were not, and especially since Iroh, the one person who could help, has decided to abandon his surrogate son to the wolves is retired in Ba Sing Se.
So Zuko needs to devote his undivided attention to figuring out what type of Fire Lord he wants to be, as well learn the finer details associated with being the ruler of the most powerful nation-state in the world, one that you are trying to reform after a hundred years of war and propaganda.
Also, on a more personal level, Zuko needs to figure out what type of relationships he wants to have with not only Iroh, Ursa, Noren, and Kiyi, but also with Ozai and Azula, if he wants to have any relationship with them at all. Not to mention, work on his other, non-romantic, non-familiar relationships, like his friendships with the Gaang and Ty Lee, on top of maybe finding some new friends in the Fire Nation as well.
For how can Zuko be a good romantic partner if he doesn’t have his professional life (mostly) sorted out and his personal life is in shambles? For it is unfair to himself and Mai to rely on her being the sole, or at least main, source of stability in his life.
Meanwhile, in Mai’s case, she needs to figure out who is she and what she wants outside the confines of nobility or the Royal Family, something that she is already doing considering she is working in her Aunt Mura’s flower shop and has attempted (key word attempted) to date someone outside of nobility.
For Mai has spent her entire life being the politician's perfect daughter, the princess’ loyal friend, and/or the Prince/Fire Lord’s dutiful girlfriend.
Thus she deserves and needs to spend some significant time where she is not playing a role, so that if she decides to marry Zuko, and therefore become Fire Lady, it is because she is fully aware of the burden it entails, and yet she still stole choose to marry him because that is what she wanted to do in life, not what someone else wanted or expected her to do.
So to conclude, while most of the arguments against Maiko, in my opinion, are not serious since they are driven by shipping concerns, and not out of concern for Zuko, Mai, or both of them, there are serious problems with Maiko, namely how they treat each other in the comics.
Thankfully, however, most of their transgressions against each other in the comics haven’t led to serious consequences (so far). Moreover, most of their problems are easily fixable provided that they spend time apart and do some growing up, especially since they are teenagers with their whole lives ahead of them.
And considering they are already spending time apart, all that is left is for them to do some soul-searching that is hopefully on-screen and/or on-panel before becoming the couple they would have been if not for the war, the toxic Fire Nation Court, and their abusive upbringings.
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