#or leave out stupid long annoying details about characters emotions and thoughts | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rei-caldombra · 3 months

Text

Dragon Ball Z and Super share a lot of the same issues - I'm tired of Z Worshippers

This one is more of a rant and vent post talking about Dragon Ball Z, Dragon Ball Super and the Dragon Ball fanbase. I am going to be a bit harsh but please always remember to be civil and treat people with respect when disagreeing and calling out people’s behavior. With that said though, in my opinion DBZ worshippers are obnoxious hypocrites who are hyper fixated on an idealized version of DBZ. To be clear, loving Z does not make you a worshiper. A worshiper is someone who acts like Z is perfect, ignores Z’s flaws and refuses to not compare Z and Super every 5 seconds. I’ll be bringing up specific points of discourse around Super and giving my thoughts on how Super and Z actually share a lot of the same issues people bring up towards Super. This won’t be encompassing every little detail of the series. I also want to state that I love this series and do not dislike Z or Super. I just find they both have many issues, many of which are shared.

The reason why I bring this up is because these people have never stopped being annoying in my opinion. Even after over 5 years of the main Dragon Ball Super anime being over, people are still leaving the same tired “Super bad Z good” comments on clips from Z and Super. It’s inescapable and impossible to ignore. And after years of these same things, it is very tiring to be in the community sometimes. No matter how much time passes they are incapable of getting over the fact that Z ended and Super aired.

My main argument is that many of the points people criticize Super over are done by Z as well. But because they romanticize Z so much, they don’t realize this and attribute it just to Super.

Let’s talk about power scaling. No one complains about Goku and Vegeta going from completely outclassed by Buuhan to overpowering him after Potara fusion. But when Kale and Caulifla are completely outclassed by Goku then overpower him by potara fusion suddenly it's stupid that Potara has a ridiculous multiplier. Potara has always been a way for 2 people to turn the tides. This goes for the fusion dance too. Goten and Trunks cannot stand a semblance of a chance against Buu, but they fuse so they can at least be justified to put up a fight. Goku and Vegeta could not take down Janemba but after fusing effortlessly destroyed him. Zamasu and Goku Black were individually too weak to fight Goku and Vegeta, so they fused to get the upper hand. Then Goku and Vegeta do the same to turn the tides again. Fusion has always been used as a way for weaker characters to dramatically overcome their opponent. This is and always was bad and inconsistent from a power scaling perspective. It’s been like this since Z, Super did not change that.

Super also did not ruin Super Saiyan forms, the impact of Super Saiyan was ruined long before Super. Many people are for some reason totally fine with Goten and Trunks not having any interesting or emotional reason to go Super Saiyan. It just randomly happens while they were casually training with Chi-Chi. But when Caulifla goes Super Saiyan without any interesting or emotional reason suddenly the hype of Super Saiyan is being ruined. Tingly back is dumb, yes. But are you seriously arguing that “idk it just happened lol” is good writing for Trunks and Goten? Both of these are unsatisfying uses of characters becoming Super Saiyans. Saiyans go Super Saiyan when the story demands Saiyans keep up with the most recent enemies. Goten and Trunks had to be able to go Super Saiyan so they could be relevant in the Buu Saga. Another point in a similar vein- Caulifla going Super Saiyan 2 fairly easily was also complained about. You know who else got a higher Super Saiyan form very easily in a way that undercuts the effort of the other character(s) who achieved it through hard work and/or emotional suffering? Gotenks going Super Saiyan 3 after seeing it done by Goku one time. Why? Because the people they have to fight are so strong that they need it to be relevant. Super Saiyan was downgraded from being a big deal long ago back in Z. Power ups that undercuts the impact of previous ones is not a Super problem, it's a Dragon Ball problem.

Now to the inconsistent art point. Super has some fairly inconsistent and mediocre art over its run, with some frames in particular looking especially bad. But have y’all actually watched Z outside of the big hype moments you watch clips of on Youtube? Let’s look at some terrible art from Z. Please be aware that I am not an animation expert on the technical side so sorry if I use any terms incorrectly.

Vegeta is ridiculously off model, to the point that it barely even looks like him. With this picture you could convince someone this is a different Saiyan like you’d see in the background of Namek flashbacks. There were various artists and teams handling DBZ over the show, and that resulted in things like this happening more often. This is bad, plain and simple. If people are going to pick out minor bad moments in Super, then we are allowed to do that for DBZ too.

Here’s a mediocre looking frame from the Cell Saga.

It even comes from Cell vs Goku, one of the best-looking fights in the series in my opinion. Look how crunchy that Cell the back is. Goku’s hair is pretty low detail compared to many of the other shots in this fight. This is a shot covering a lot of motion, which often can result in less detail. This is fairly normal, but yes it does look worse and is inconsistent. This is just like many frames people have criticized in Super. In this same fight there are single frames covering movement that look 10x better. Sorry, Z does not look perfect 100% of the time like a lot of people act. Super is the same way. For example, there are some very mediocre looking parts of the Future Saga, but there are also the parts directed by Naotoshi Shida that look really great. Z and Super were both long running anime that had inconsistent art that ranged from ugly to beautiful. Z and Super both had times where less skilled artists were working on the show. They both had times when the show was rushed, and the art suffered. Just like with Super we can pick out poor visuals in Z as well. There’s definitely worse than the above shot but this shot exists and was easy to find so I used it. Kinda like how people would criticize the same easy to find shots of Super for the last 9 years.

Some of the criticisms of Super are just stupid and people are not paying attention to the details. The biggest one is people saying Goku endangered everyone by giving Zeno the idea for the Tournament of Power. But if you actually paid attention, you would know that Zeno was planning to erase all of the universes that ended up participating in the Tournament of Power before that idea came up. The Tournament of Power meant at least one universe would be saved and gave the chance for that universe to save the rest. Goku’s idea saved all the universes from destruction. It seems stupid in the moment but actually worked out in the end. You know what else did in a similar fashion? Goku gives Cell a senzu bean. If you want to argue that it being unintentional shouldn’t count in Goku’s favor for not being an idiot in Super, then you should consider Goku an idiot in Z for not killing Fat Buu when he could have. Besides, the argument of his perceived dangerous desire for the ToP being out of character is just incorrect in my opinion.

Goku endangered people all of the time for his own desires. He let Vegeta go just so he could fight him again. He didn’t know that Vegeta wouldn’t go around destroying and/or conquering more planets in the meantime. He recognized that the Saiyans were conquerors and killers, and that Vegeta should’ve been killed. But his selfish desire (as he admits himself) to enjoy fighting him again won out. He also let Frieza go out of pity even though he truly believed Frieza was evil. Even if his spirit was broken, how’d he know he wouldn’t work out that misery by hurting more people? He did not want to kill him, so he initially gave Frieza the chance to change. For both Vegeta and Frieza he put the universe at risk to give them a chance to change. He believed in that capacity to change so he ignored their unlikelihood of doing so. He also the time Goku tells Vegeta that he could have defeated Fat Buu as a SSJ3 but chose not to so Goten and Trunks could have a chance. Yet again he puts the world at risk for his own desires. And unlike with Gohan and Cell, this did not work out according to plan. Goten and Trunks could not defeat Buu and his plan backfires. Goku is not a perfect paragon character who only acts in the best interest of the universe. Let’s argue that Goku believes in not dealing with threats efficiently so people can grow from combat. He wanted to fight Vegeta again to better himself and he wanted Goten and Trunks to fight Buu so they can better themselves. He believes in the growth that comes from combat. Does that not also work for the Tournament of Power? Does it not make sense for him to want to grow by encountering all these different fighters? Even if that brings some risk by whatever stakes come from the tournament? I feel that Goku wanting a universal tournament even though the gods recommended against it fits his character. Krillin said leaving Vegeta alive would be a bad idea. But Goku stuck to his desire anyway. Beerus and the others thought the ToP would be a bad idea. But Goku went for it anyway. King Kai warned Goku not to get in a fight with Beerus but he did it anyway. He has the drive to protect people but at his core he is a guy who loves to fight and grow from that experience. And he pushes that onto other people which often brings increased risk. This fits for the Cell saga too, where he gives Cell a senzu bean because he believes fighting Cell at full power will bring out Gohan’s potential. Even though healing Cell put everyone at greater risk he chose to do that because he wanted to see Gohan’s full potential. He does want to protect people from evil, but the forefront of his character is desiring to fight and grow as a fighter. And through the series we see this bring risk. To me this is who adult Goku is. In my opinion this is pretty consistent characterization from Z to Super. Goku’s character is up to personal interpretation, but this is how I see him.

You can like Z better than Super. That’s fine. My problem is not people criticizing either show, or people making an argument that one anime is better than the other (I like the original Dragon Ball anime the best if you're curious). You can have issues with writing, power scaling, visuals etc. of either show. I am not arguing people’s issues with Super are invalid. The problem is pointing out the flaws of Super just to completely ignore those same flaws being present in Z in mostly the same way. It's hypocritical, plain and simple. Some people really need to take off their nostalgia goggles and look at all of Dragon Ball more comprehensively if they want to talk about the quality of the individual shows. In my opinion many of the problems people talk about in regard to Super are problems that all of Dragon Ball suffers from, not just Super. I am tired of hearing about these problems brought up against just Super for almost a decade now (crazy that Super started in 2015). I want the Z worshippers to move on with their lives and get over not enjoying Super as much as other people did. At the very least please properly watch Z and Super again if you are going to act like you are an expert on them. Come up with new material and/or criticize something new.

Thank you for reading! I think this really helped release this buildup of frustration out of my system lol.

#Dragon ball #Dragon Ball Z #Dragon Ball Super #DBZ #DBS #anime #Blog #vtuber

1 note · View note

translations-by-aiimee · 3 years

Text

The Husky and His White Cat Shizun - Chapter 25

Original Title: 二哈和他的白猫师尊

Genres: Drama, Romance, Tragedy, Xianxia, Yaoi

This translation is based on multiple MTLs and my own limited knowledge of Chinese characters. If I have made any egregious mistakes, please let me know.

Chapter Index

Chapter 25 - This Venerable One Hates Him So Much!

Chu Wanning couldn't force a "go away" to leave his throat. There was a long sombre pause before he changed his answer to: "Come in."

"Huh? Your door isn't locked?" They had been giving each other the silent treatment all day. But now, Mo Ran had the intention of reconciling with him, so he pushed open the door as he spoke like nothing had ever happened. Chu Wanning, on the other hand, sat expressionlessly at the table. He raised his eyes and glanced at him faintly.

In all fairness, Mo Ran was incredibly beautiful, and the whole room seemed to brighten as soon as he walked in the door. He was indeed very young. His skin was tight and seemed to exude a faint glow. The corners of his mouth were naturally slightly curled, and he seemed to be smiling even when he wasn't showing any emotion.

Chu Wanning didn't move his eyes off of Mo Ran. His slender eyelashes drooped and raised his hand to pinch out the incense burning on the table. He coldly asked:

"What are you doing here?"

"I came. . . to check your injury." Mo Ran awkwardly coughed. His eyes fell on Chu Wanning's shoulder and he froze. "You dressed it already?"

Chu Wanning faintly said: "Yes."

Mo Ran didn't know what to say: ". . ."

He really hated Chu Wanning, and he was furious that Chu Wanning had hurt Shi Mei. But, after calming down, Mo Ran wasn't completely without a conscience. Yeah, he hated him, but he didn't forget that Chu Wanning's shoulder was injured.

In the claustrophobic coffin, Chu Wanning had tightly guarded him in his arms, blocking the Master of Ceremonies Ghost's claws with his own body. His body had trembled in pain but he didn't let go. . .

To Chu Wanning, Mo Ran was disgusting.

But in addition to disgust, some very complicated emotions were always mixed in with it for some reason.

He was a rude person. He didn't read books when he was a child. Although he obtained some literary knowledge later, he still couldn't grasp many concepts easily when it came to many delicate things, especially when it came to feelings.

For example, when it came to Chu Wanning, Mo Ran rubbed his head and pondered. The back of his head was going to go bald, but he still couldn't figure out what this feeling was.

He can only identify certain kinds of feelings: love, hate, detest, happiness and unhappiness.

If all these emotions were mixed together, the wise and powerful cultivation emperor would get crossed-eyed and really dizzy.

He didn't understand. He couldn't understand. He didn't know. Help, my head hurts.

So Mo Ran didn't bother to dwell on it. Besides, he didn't have time to focus on any details other than Shi Mei.

He didn't hold good feelings for Chu Wanning in his heart, and while secretly plotting when he might have an opportunity in the future, he would make him pay with double the ferocity. On the other hand, he felt guilty. After an internal battle with himself, he finally knocked on Chu Wanning's door.

He didn't want to owe Chu Wanning.

But Chu Wanning was more stubborn and ruthless than he thought.

Mo Ran stared at the pile of blood-stained cotton gauze on the table, the bowl of hot water stained red with blood, and the sharp knife that was thrown haphazardly thrown aside. The tip of the knife was still coated with flesh and blood. His head was spinning.

How did he manage to heal himself?

Had he really cut off the festering flesh without so much as blinking? Just imagining it sent a chill down his spine. Was this guy even human?

He thought about when he had cleaned up Shi Mei's wound. Shi Mei had groaned softly in pain with tears in the corners of his eyes. Even though Mo Ran didn’t like Chu Wanning, he couldn’t help but silently give him credit——

Elder Yuheng was truly a domineering and righteous man, no arguments there.

After standing in place for a while, Mo Ran was the first to break the silence. He coughed, tapping his toes against the floor, and awkwardly said: "What happened in the Chen house. . . Shizun, I'm sorry."

Chu Wanning didn't say anything.

Mo Ran stole a glance at him: "I shouldn't have yelled at you."

Chu Wanning still ignored him. His face was still. As always, he had no reaction, but that didn't mean he wasn't aggravated and just not saying anything.

Mo Ran walked over. When he got closer, he saw the mess of bandages on Chu Wanning's shoulder. The cotton gauze was tied in several different ways. It looked like a group of crabs that were stuck together.

". . ."

Also, for a person who doesn't know how to wash his own clothes, can he really be trusted to treat himself?

Mo Ran sighed: "Shizun, don't be angry."

"Do I look angry?" Chu Wanning angrily responded.

Mo Ran: ". ."

After a long pause.

"Shizun, that's not how you wrap a bandage. . ."

He retorted unceremoniously: "You want you to teach me?"

Mo Ran: ". . ."

He raised his hand. He wanted to help Chu Wanning untie the gauze and wrap it again, but he was observant and felt that if he dared to touch him, he might end up with a lashing, so he hesitated.

He raised his hand then lowered it, and then raised it again, repeating the action several times. Chu Wanning was getting annoyed. He squinted at him: "What are you doing? Do you still want to fight me?"

". . ." He really wanted to fight him, but now wasn't a good time.

Mo Ran smiled sheepishly. Throwing caution to the wind, he suddenly reached over and grabbed his shoulders, dimples appearing at the corners of his mouth: "Shizun, let me help you re-bandage it."

Chu Wanning wanted to refuse, but Mo Ran's warm fingers had already wrapped around the bandage. His mouth felt dry and stiff. He couldn't speak, so his lips moved slightly but nothing came out.

The gauze was peeled off layer by layer. Blood had soaked through it, and when it was all torn back, the five holes were piercingly obvious and hideous.

Just looking at it, he shuddered. It was many times more serious than the would on Shi Mei's face.

Mo Ran didn't know what he was looking at. He was stunned, then suddenly asked softly: "Does it hurt?"

Chu Wanning lowered his long and slender eyelashes, and simply said lightly: "It's fine."

Mo Ran said: "I'll be gentle."

Chu Wanning didn't know what he was thinking, and suddenly his ear flushed a little red. As a result, he got angry with himself again. He thought he was going crazy. All day he had been thinking up such nonsensical thoughts. His expression grew stiff. His temper worsened, and he said dryly, "It's up to you."

The candlelight in the guest room flickered. In the dim light, he could see that he had completely missed some spots with the ointment. Mo Ran was honestly speechless. He thought it was a miracle that Chu Wanning was still alive and healthy today.

"Shizun."

"Hmm?"

"What happened to you today at the Chen house? Why did you suddenly lash out and hit someone?" He asked while applying some ointment.

Chu Wanning was silent for a while, then replied: "I was angry."

Mo Ran asked: "Why were you so angry?"

Chu Wanning didn't want to trouble his disciple, so he told Mo Ran a brief and concise version of Luo Xianxian's story. After Mo Ran listened to the story, he shook his head: "You're stupid. In this kind of situation, even if you're angry, you shouldn't confront them about it to their face. If it were me, I would've made a mess of things and lie to them that the ghost had been removed, and then pat their asses and leave, letting them fend for themselves. Just look at you making a scene over such a rotten man. You knew you probably wouldn't get through to him, and then you missed and wounded Shi Mei--"

Halfway through the sentence, Mo Ran abruptly stopped. He stared silently at Chu Wanning.

He tied the bandage carefully. He was a little forgetful and he was talking to Chu Wanning like he had when he was 32, pretty cheekily.

Chu Wanning obviously noticed. He squinted his eyes, looking coldly at Mo Ran. That look resembled a very familiar phrase - "See if I don't whip you to death."

"Uh. . ."

Before his brain had thought up a response, Chu Wanning has already begun speaking.

He said indifferently: "Is Shi Mingjing the one I wanted to fight?"

When Shi Mei was mentioned, Mo Ran's originally calm mental state started to shift and his tone hardened: "Isn't he the person you hit?"

Chu Wanning did regret hitting him, but he couldn't admit it. At this moment, his face was sullen and he didn't say a word.

Chu Wanning was the stubborn type. Mo Ran was the lovesick type. Their eyes meet and sparks crackled. The atmosphere that had just eased a little became hopelessly stagnant again.

Mo Ran said: "Shi Mei didn't do anything wrong. Shizun, you hurt him by accident. Don't you want to say that you're sorry?"

Chu Wanning narrowed his eyes dangerously: "Are you questioning me?"

". . . I'm not." Mo Ran paused. "I just feel bad that he got hurt but never got an apology from Shizun."

Under the candlelight, the handsome and youthful teenager finished wrapping the last bandage on Chu Wanning's wound and carefully tied a knot. It may have looked like the scene was quite warm, but the mood between them had changed. Especially Chu Wanning; his chest felt like a jar of vinegar had exploded in it. The feeling of sourness was overwhelming and he felt angry and annoyed.

Apologize?

How do you even spell that word? Who'll teach him how to write?

Mo Ran said: "It'll take half a year for the wound on his face to heal. When I gave him some medicine just now, he still told me not to blame you. Shizun, he doesn't blame you, but do you think that justifies what you did?"

This sentence was tantamount to adding fuel to the fire.

Chu Wanning had been enduring it but he finally couldn't hold it back. He suppressed his voice and muttered: "Get out."

Mo Ran: ". . ."

Chu Wanning exploded: "Get out!"

Mo Ran was forced out and the door slammed shut in his face, almost clamping his fingers. Mo Ran was furious. Just look at this! What kind of person was this? All this just to avoid apologizing? Such cherished and treasured pride. What was so difficult about saying sorry? All he needs to do is move his mouth. This Venerable One was the Emperor TaXian, yet this Venerable One didn't hesitate to apologize to others. As for the Beidou Immortal, half of his words were inexplicable, as if he had swallowed them. What a ridiculous temper!

No wonder no one cared about such a handsome face!

It was a waste of time. He deserved to stay single for the rest of his life!

Since Chu Wanning would rather ignore him and give him a closed-door to talk to, then of course the high and mighty cultivation emperor, the emperor of the human world, wouldn't lose any sleep over this. Although he was tenacious and as hard to get rid of as a piece of sticky candy, he stuck to Shi Mei, not his shizun.

He immediately left without a care and went to join Shi Mei.

"Why are you back so soon?" Shi Mei was in the midst of lying down to rest when he saw Mo Yan come in. He froze and sat up, long strands of ink hair hanging all over the place. "How's Shizun?"

"Very good. His temper is as strong as usual."

Shi Mei: ". . ."

Mo Ran brought over a chair and sat on it backwards. His hand rested on the back of the Taishi chair, a lazy smile hanging on the corner of his mouth. His gaze flicked across the appearance of Shi Mei's soft and long hair.

Shi Mei said: "Why don't I go and see him. . ."

"Don't think too much about it." Mo Ran rolled his eyes. "He's terrible."

"Did you make him angry again?"

"He needs someone to provoke him? He makes himself angry. I think he's made of wood considering he's so flammable."

Shi Mei shook his head, not knowing whether to laugh or cry.

Mo Ran said: "Get some rest. I'll borrow the kitchen downstairs and make you some food."

Shi Mei said: "What's the fuss? You haven't closed your eyes all night. Aren't you going to sleep?"

"Haha, I am in good spirits." Mo Ran laughed. "But if you can't bear me leaving, I can stay with you for a while until you fall asleep."

Shi Mei hurriedly waved his hand and said warmly: "No, if you have to look at me like this, I won't be able to sleep either. You should go to bed early. Don't exhaust yourself."

The curvature in the corners of his mouth stiffened slightly. Mo Ran was a little sad.

Although Shi Mei treated him kindly, he always maintained such a distant attitude. It was the attitude of someone who was obviously close at hand, but as the moon in the mirror and the flower in the water, he could be seen but not obtained.

". . . Okay." In the end, he just tried to cheer up and laughed. Mo Ran's smile was very bright. When he wasn't completely evil, he was actually pretty silly and cute. "Call me if you need anything. I'm either right next door or downstairs."

"Okay."

Mo Ran raised his hand, wanting to touch his hair, but he held back. He spun his hand around in the air and scratched his head.

"I'm leaving."

Outside of the room, Mo Ran couldn't help but sneeze.

He sniffed.

Because Caidie Town produced incense, the price of all the different kinds of incense wasn't as expensive, so the inn wasn't stingy with it. Each room was lit with a long branch of special incense; one can ward off evil spirits, another can dehumidify, the last one can give the room a nice fragrance.

But as soon as Mo Ran smelled the incense, it made him uncomfortable. But if Shi Mei liked it, he would endure it.

Coming downstairs, Mo Yan wandered over to the innkeeper, slipped him a silver ingot. He squinted his eyes and said with a smile: "Innkeeper, do me a favour."

The innkeeper looked at the silver ingot and smiled more politely at Mo Ran: "What is this immortal gentleman's request?"

Mo Ran said: "I see that not many people come here to eat breakfast. I wanted to discuss that with you. I want to use the kitchen this morning. Please let the other guests know."

How much money would breakfast make him? It would probably be impossible to earn a silver ingot in half a month. The innkeeper immediately smiled and agreed, leading the swaggering Mo Weiyu into the kitchen of the inn.

"You want to cook by yourself? It's better to let the chef in our inn do it. He's very talented."

"No need." Mo Ran smiled. "Have you heard of the Jade Wine Building in Xiangtan?"

"Ah. . . Is that the famous music performance building that started getting popular more than a year ago?"

Mo Ran: "Yeah."

The boss took a peek outside and confirmed that his wife was busy and couldn't overhear. He snickered and said, "Who hasn't heard of it? It's the most famous restaurant on the Xiangjiang River. It used to have a lead musician there. It’s a pity it's so far away, otherwise, I'd want to listen to her play a song."

Mo Ran laughed: "Thank you for the compliment. I'll pass it onto her."

"Pass it on?" The innkeeper was puzzled. "Do you know her?"

Mo Ran said: "More than just know."

"Wow. . .You don't say? But you cultivators can be. . . well. . ."

Mo Ran interrupted him with a smile: "Other than the lead musician, do you know anything else?"

"Hmm. . . Their food was said to be a must."

The corners of Mo Ran's mouth curled higher and he smiled brighter. He skillfully picked up the kitchen knife and said: "Before I took up cultivation, I was a cook in the kitchen in the Jade Wine Building for several years. You said that your chefs make delicious dishes. Whose is better, theirs or mine?"

The innkeeper was even more shocked, and stammered out: "You're really. . . really. . ."

He couldn't get the words out.

Mo Ran gazed at him with narrowed eyes. His smile was barely holding back his smug and cocky demeanour: "You can leave. This chef is going to cook something."

The innkeeper didn’t know that he was talking to the former Lord of Darkness, and he put on a cheeky expression: “I've heard a lot about Jade Wine House's exquisite desserts. I wonder if you would let me have a bite once they're ready?"

He didn't think this was too high of a request. Mo Ran would definitely agree.

Who would've expected Mo Ran to squint his eyes and say with a smirk: "You want some?"

"Hmph!"

"Really?" Mo Ran snorted. He was bursting with pride. He scoffed: "You think I would cook for just anyone? This Venerable One is doing this just for Shi Mei. If not for him, I wouldn't even be lighting a fire to cook. . ."

He flipped a radish over and started to slice it, muttering.

". . ." The innkeeper slumped defeatedly. He rubbed his hands and stood there awkwardly. He halfheartedly chuckled at him then left.

He was also muttering to himself.

This Venerable One? For someone this young, his spiritual core hasn't even fully formed yet. He thought about his chatter and how he was probably referring to his elder sister disciple, but there was no female cultivator among the group who walked with him today.

The innkeeper rolled his eyes.

This person must be deluded.

Mo Ran stayed busy in the kitchen for several hours. It was almost noon when the work was finished, and he rushed upstairs to wake Shi Mei up.

When passing by Chu Wanning's room, he slowly came to a stop.

Should he ask if he wanted to eat together. . .

Thinking of Chu Wanning's harsh temperament, Mo Ran's heart skipped a beat, his face full of contempt.

No, no, no. He only had a few portions. There wasn't enough to share with him!

#2ha novel #2ha translation #2ha #the husky and his white cat shizun translation #the husky and his white cat shizun #english translation #chinese bl #chinese novel #bl novel #yaoi novel #yaoi #danmei novel #danmei #chu wanning #mo ran #ranwan

157 notes · View notes

shorkbrian · 4 years

Text

Babysitter

Prelude - I do not understand how some people get turned on by spanking, but I still respect that kink. I could never lol I just think back to the days where I got spanked so hard I’d pass out or the wooden spoon would break haha.

Pairing - Bakugou Katsuki X Reader

Prompt - idk I just thought of babysitters being so flipping like “Im in charge here” and stupid and I feel like Bakugou would enjoy babysitting like someone just a few years younger than him cause he’d get such a rush of power.

Warnings - NSFW, abuse of power, noncon, spanking, degradation, slight misogyny. slight masochism?

Music - https://open.spotify.com/track/5E30LdtzQTGqRvNd7l6kG5?si=IG4WgPeSQf2_UzyLXMWR7g

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your mom was overbearing.

Here you were, a full-grown adult, and your mom was yelling her thanks to your “babysitter” as she rushed out the door.

You knew she was a bit protective, a bit hyper-vigilant and akin to a helicopter parent. But it was hard to be mad at her for it, not ever since dad had divorced her. She was terrified of something happening to you, of loosing the last thing in her life that she cared about.

Still, it was hard not to feel a little bubble of irritation in your throat as you watched your “babysitter” wave to her as she climbed in her car. You didn’t need a babysitter, not at your age. And you especially didn’t need the gruff, surly man that had lived in the house across the street as your babysitter. You could take care of yourself, thank you very much.

And how come your mom didn’t trust you by yourself, but somehow trusted this Mr. Grumpypants that you had met a total of zero times. You had seen him once, when your mom’s car had broken down at her job and you had to go pick her up.

You hadn’t minded, rolling up to the curb to see your mother animatedly talking to some blonde man with a stick shoved up his ass, his handsome face grimacing like he just sucked on a lemon dipped in hot sauce. Apparently she worked with him, the younger man a security guard for the complex her office was located in. You watched as his bored red eyes slid from your mother, over to you through the car window, his brow furrowing. The bored look had disappeared, and he regarded you with… curiosity? Contempt? It was hard to tell what emotion was hidden behind his eyes, underlaid so strongly with irritation and anger.

Mom had gushed about him all the way home, telling you details you didn’t really care about. His name was Bakugou Katsuki, he was single, 27, and wouldn’t you know - he lived right across the street!

Well, if she trusted him, you guess you should too. Didn’t mean you had to like it though.

And you didn’t, huffing as Bakugou closed the door and you turned back to your game, mashing buttons and sitting forward as you tried to beat this level. It was ridiculous, your mom going over to his house a few days prior with a plate of cookies, asking the man if he wouldn’t mind coming and hanging out while she was away on some business trip. She had expressed her worry about leaving you - what if something happened while she was gone for a week? Someone could kidnap you and she wouldn’t even know until she got back!

Even when you politely reminded her that cell-phones existed, she was adamant; you were going to have someone big and strong stay in the house with you. It not only would keep potential burglars and thieves away, but it’d keep you safe, make sure you weren’t doing anything silly like staying up too late or eating too much junk food. It was embarrassing.

Some small part of you wanted to stomp your foot and whine at her, but that wouldn’t help you in trying to convince her that you were an adult. Once your mom convinced herself of something, nothing would be able to change her mind. Even when you pointed out that Bakugou was a strange man, she didn’t budge.

“I see him everyday at work!” She had pointed out. “Plus, he’s a security guard sweetie - his literal job involves keeping people safe.”

Bakugou locked the door, before glancing your way. You felt his eyes on you, but you didn’t feel like acknowledging his presence, by gracing him with conversation or any sort of interaction. The man moved on after a second, walking behind you and into the kitchen. You heard him rustle in the cupboards, the clink of glasses, then the sound of water filling a cup.

Right - your mom had kindly showed him where everything was. She had guided him through each room showed him the guest room which she had made up for his stay, even walking him through the kitchen and showing him the contents of each cupboard.

He came back into the living room with his backpack and cup full of water, settled himself down in one of the armchairs by the couch. You didn’t spare him a glance as he pulled out his laptop, threw on some glasses, and settled himself in for… well, whatever he was doing. You were just glad that the two of you didn’t have to interact with each other.

You continued playing your game, occasionally getting frustrated enough to mumble under your breath at the TV as your character died yet again. This was going to be a long week.

----

You were taking a gap year after graduating, relaxing before you threw yourself into college and working. Right now, your days were spent playing games, scrolling on your phone and laughing at memes, going to the pool for hours on end, the library, bike rides, hikes… lots of activities that kept your mind and body occupied. But this week? Bakugou threw off every plan you made.

It was the second day, and you had gotten up early to go swim and goof off at the community pool for a few hours. It was fun, you could tan a little, cool off, maybe see some cute boys your age.

When you got out of the water you had two missed texts from Bakugou.

Where are you

Tell me where the fuck you went

Instead of answering, you huffed, wrapping your towel around your waist. It took maybe fifteen minutes to walk home - you’d deal with your overprotective babysitter then.

He met you at the door, throwing it open before you could even touch the handle. His face was drawn tight in a scowl, the blonde crossing his arms as soon as you stepped inside and shut the door behind you.

“Your fucking phone die? Or are you just ignoring me?”

You shook your head, irritated with how big of a deal he was making out of this. You went to the pool all the time, you weren’t going to die. “I was at the pool, chill dude.”

“Oh, I thought you just popped out to go fucking parachuting!” He spat, uncrossing his arms to gesture at your body. “I can see that you went to the pool dipshit. Why didn’t you fucking tell me, huh? You normally run off on your mom without a damn word?”

You stared at him, curious to see if he would burst a blood vessel with how worked up he was getting. He didn’t seem like someone that knew what the word “relax” meant. Bakugou probably slept all angrily, arms crossed, lips pulled into a frown, eyebrows drawn low.

“Fucking hey, earth to idiot!” Fingers snapped in front of your face, and you recoiled, glaring up at the man in front of you. Before you could open your mouth, he huffed, rubbing a hand across his forehead. “Don’t fucking go anywhere unless you run it by me, understand? I don’t need you wandering into a fucking alley and getting stabbed or some shit.”

Snorting, you moved past him, not even bothering to answer. He was an asshole. Despite what your mother thought, you weren’t a child. You knew how to take care of yourself, you didn’t need some grumpy old guy bossing you around. Said man was grinding his teeth as he watched you walk away, headed for your room. It probably annoyed the life out of him that you hadn’t answered, but he didn’t say anything.

When you finished grabbing clothes for your shower, you came out of your room to see Bakugou leaning against the wall.

“So you’re being a little spoiled princess, not even talking to me? That’s rich. You know I’m gonna be here for the next fucking week - you better make peace with that.”

“Dude, I don’t know what you want. I’m fine, I do this all the time. Just leave me be, and I’ll do the same for you.”

Bakugou grumbled something under his breath, but your skin was getting dry and tight from chlorine, so you ignored him as you slipped into the bathroom, locking the door behind you. You could hear his feet stomping away, and almost giggled at the sound. It almost seemed like he was the petulant child that needed a babysitter.

It didn’t take you long to rinse off, get all the chlorine and salt off your skin. Drying off, you quickly realized you forgot a bra when you had grabbed clothes - which was fine, you would just wrap up in your towel and waddle back to your room. Plus, the bathroom was directly opposite your room, and Bakugou wasn’t nearby, you could hear dishes rattling in the kitchen, so that wouldn’t be a problem.

And it wasn’t, not until you were in your room, door closed, towel on the floor as you rifled through your dresser drawers for the bra you really liked.

“Hey princess, do you want-“

You only heard him as he opened the door, and by that time you were scrambling to snatch your towel up around your naked body. Bakugou choked on his words, face turning a flaming red before he slammed the door shut, giving you your privacy.

Heart racing, you sat down on the floor, too embarrassed for words. That was awkward.

“Why the fuck would you grab clothes, only to come back and change in your room!??!” Bakugou yelled from the other side of the door, a decidedly angry “thump” from where he banged his fist against the door.

“I forgot something, geez! Why didn’t you bother knocking?!?” You yelled back, your own face heating up.

“Holy fucking shit, just get some fucking clothes on, asshole. I’m makin’ pancakes and shit.”

Breakfast was an awkward affair, your gaze focused firmly on the perfectly cooked food on your plate. Bakugou was glaring at you between bites, obviously fuming. He was probably just as embarrassed as you were, but at least he wasn’t trying to make small talk.

----

Bakugou doesn’t appreciate how much time you spend playing video games, and it’s only the third day. He’s grumbled about it several times already, but you aren’t hurting anybody, and there’s nothing else for you to do, so.

It seems like the only thing Bakugou is willing to do is sit nearby, glare at you condescendingly, and mutter under his breath about how you spend your time. When you decided to run to the store to get groceries (there was a surplus of food in the house - you just wanted some air and time away from your “babysitter”) Bakugou had suddenly appeared, moving in front of the door and sneering.

“Are you trying to fuckin’ sneak off again? I won’t let that shit slide twice.”

You huffed, shrugging on your jacket. “Bakugou, I was going to the store. Contrary to what you think, I’m not eight years old, and I can take care of myself. My mom’s just a helicopter parent. You don’t even need to be here, honestly.”

The man scoffed, his face souring. “You’re literally a fucking child. Didn’t you just graduate highschool?”

Stepping closer to him, you squared your shoulders, eyebrows furrowing as you looked up at the blond. “Call me a child all you want - doesn’t change the fact I’m old enough to do stuff by myself. Now-“ you gestured to his body “-please move.”

“No.”

You crossed your arms over your chest. “And why not? You can’t just lock me in the house until my mom comes back.”

Bakugou’s head cocked, red eyes burrowing into your head. He grinned. “Why the fuck not? I’m in charge here, I get to make the damn rules. I say your ass stays here, and it’s going to.”

Clenching your jaw, you huffed, spinning on your heel. You weren’t going to be able to talk the bull-headed man into leaving you to your own devices. There was nothing left to do except shuck off your shoes, admitting defeat. It was so irritating - you didn’t need anyone looking after you, you were an adult! You were more than capable of handling yourself! Why didn’t your mom trust you? Did she think that you were too stupid to keep yourself alive and safe?

You left Bakugou at the door, grabbing a soda from the kitchen before flopping onto the couch in front of TV.

Sure, you could read a book, do a puzzle, browse social media. But right now, you were feeling particularly angry, violent. You wanted to achieve something, finish quests, accomplish tasks. So video games it was.

Of course, that meant Bakugou sauntering back into the living room, groaning as he saw you back in front of the TV. But if he wasn’t going to let you go out, then this is what you were going to spend your time doing. If he wanted to treat you like a child, then you were going to act like one. Show him how much of a brat you really could be.

You turn on your console, select the game you’re going to be playing for the next few hours, and settle further into the couch, making yourself comfortable. Reaching down to the coffee table, you’re about to grab the soda you had brought in earlier, but Bakugou beat you to it.

“Hey!” You whined, watching the blond pop the tab, take a long, slow drag of the carbonated drink. He smacked his lips and cocked his head, smirking down at you.

“You shouldn’t drink this sorta shit, ’s bad for you.”

“Why are you drinking it then?!!?”

Bakugou shrugged. “‘Cause I’m in charge here. I get to do whatever I fuckin’ want.”

Huffing, you gave up the argument, starting to push yourself off the couch. Bakugou was one of those people that got off on power trips, liked being the one to call the shots. The best course of action here would be to just ignore him and grab another soda.

“And where the fuck do you think you’re going? I didn’t say you could move.” The blond man was standing in front of you, making it impossible for you to stand. He was so irritating - you couldn’t wait for this week to be over.

“I’m going to get something to drink, since you decided to help yourself to my soda.”

He moved out of your way, clicking his tongue before flopping down into the armchair by the couch. You glared at him for as long as you could, until the kitchen wall hid his face from view. Ugh, he was such a jerk. At first he had seemed somewhat decent, but as he got more comfortable around you, the man was turning into a self-absorbed tyrant.

Whatever, you were only going to have a stupid “babysitter” for a few more days.

----

“Get off the damn game! Don’t make me haul your ass off that couch.”

Bakugou threatened. He wasn’t very intimidating, standing there vigorously brushing his teeth like there was something wrong with them. The blond had already asked you two other times, and you had ignored him on both occasions. You were so close to leveling up, just a few more points.

If Bakugou wanted to go to bed when the sun was still up, he was more than welcome to do so. You however, had better things to do with your time.

You saw him stomp away out of the corner of your eye, apparently giving up on trying to tell you what to do in your own house. Good.

If anything, Bakugou should be grateful that all you were interested was playing video games and going to the pool. You could be out getting in trouble, doing drugs, rebelling against the system or something - but you were here, chilling and causing zero trouble.

The sink in the bathroom ran, then clattering could be heard as Bakugou finished up his bedtime routine, putting his toothbrush away, washing his hands, yada yada.

He appeared back in the living room, arms crossed. His muscles bulged out like that, showcased by the sleeveless black tank top he was wearing. But you weren’t intimidated, it’s not like he was going to hit you or something.

“Alright, last chance. Turn the fucking game off, it’s your majesty’s bedtime now.” He sneered.

You ignored him.

“You seriously wanna do this princess?”

You stayed silent. Just a few more kills….

“Alright, you fuckin’ asked for it.”

The TV turned off, Bakugou yanking the cords out behind it.

“Dude, what the hell! I was so close to leveling up!!” You screeched, sitting up straight. Bakugou’s face was screwed into an angry frown, and he advanced towards you, walking with purpose. You were fuming, rising to your feet so you could get in his face, tell him off. He was acting like he was your dad or something, and he most definitely was not.

When the man got within an arm length of you, you immediately jabbed a finger into his chest, mouth opening to spit nasty words. Those words died when your hand was slapped harshly away, Bakugou still walking forward until he was crowding into your space. You tried to shrink back, but a rough hand latched onto the back of your neck, holding you still as Bakugou closed in on you, bringing your foreheads together.

“You are such a spoiled little princess. Think you can get away with shit, yeah? Never had a man in your life to put you in your goddamn place, that’s why, isn’t it?”

You blanched, still trying to lean backwards, away from his overwhelming presence. It was kind of scary, how he was all up in your face, how his fingers gripped the back of your neck so tightly, how his face was so close to yours that you could feel his warm, minty breath.

“Bakugou, ple-“

“Nah, shut the fuck up. We’re past any point where you could’ve begged for forgiveness. I am so sick and tired of your bratty little attitude. You keep testing my patience, being a little shit, acting like you own the damn place. You’re gonna show me you’re fuckin’ sorry princess.”

A hand wrapped around your waist, another on your thigh, hefting you up with brute strength and slinging you over his shoulder in the blink of an eye. The swift movement made your head spin for a second, but you quickly adjusted.

“Woah, what the hell man? Put me down!” Bakugou ignored you, spinning on his heel and marching towards the guest bedroom. “Dude, put me down right now, this isn’t funny anymore. C’mon, put me down, I get it. You’re in charge, and I gotta listen. You can let me down now. Please?”

Your pleading went unheard, even as it got more and more desperate the closer to the guest bedroom he walked. When you passed through the doorway, you kicked at the mans stomach, tried to hit his back - you had a faint idea of where this was going, and it was nowhere good.

Without ceremony, you were thrown on the bed, the air getting knocked out of you with the impact, your head bouncing a few times on the mattress. Bakugou turned, shutting and locking the door before he was back in front of you again, a vicious look on his face.

You scrambled backwards on the bed, holding out one hand as if to ward him off. “Okay, dude, wait, you don’t want to do this. Please don’t do this, you’re a good guy-“

“Shit, do you ever stop running your mouth? Calm the fuck down princess, I’m just gonna spank you ’till you cry, then we’ll be even.”

The idea was humiliating, embarrassing, degrading. But it was better than what you thought was about to happen. Bakugou grabbed your ankle, pulling you back towards him with a quick yank, sitting down beside you on the bed. The man patted his lap expectantly, before getting impatient with your hesitance and grabbing your hair, pulling you across his lap with a pained shriek from you.

“Now, here’s how this is gonna fucking go. You’re gonna sit there and take it, and you’ll be done once I say so. Now shut up.”

Without further ceremony, a broad hand slapped your ass, your shorts providing only the thinnest of barriers. You weren’t ready for the hit, so you lurched forward across the mans lap with a small cry. Another smack landed, and while you still weren’t ready, the sting wasn’t as jarring as the first slap.

SMACK

SMACK SMACK SMACK

You tried to not whine, or cry, or make any noise, but it was hard. His hand was coming down with more force on each strike, and it /hurt/. You could feel your skin throbbing underneath your shorts, red and tender, and you were ready to be done.

Bakugou however, was not.

He kept going,

SMACK

Each hit harder than the last.

SMACK

You wanted to cry, trying to hold it in, just endure through the mortification of being spanked like a child.

SMACK

You couldn’t take it anymore, bursting into tears, skin burning, blubbering for Bakugou to stop, please.

The spanking stopped.

The two of you sat there, you sobbing, Bakugou rubbing the skin of your ass over your shorts. Somehow, that hurt just as much as the spanking did, so you reached a hand back blindly, trying to catch his wrist and push him away. As soon as you grabbed his wrist, Bakugou delivered another savage slap to your behind, making you immediately apologize and drop your hands, let him pet and stroke your ass at his leisure. It hurt.

You don’t know how long you both stayed there, Bakugou further irritating the burning, raw skin of your butt, you sniffling and calming down from the full-bodied sobs that had wracked your form earlier. It had been long enough that you barely flinched when Bakugou tentatively fingered the waistband of your shorts, twisting up the fabric, as if he were hesitant to go further, but obviously considering it. You didn’t flinched when a decision was seemingly made, and a hand started slowly pulling your shorts down.

You flinched when the fabric slid over a particularly sore welt on your ass.

“What are you doing??” You panicked, trying to rise up, move away. A hand between your shoulder blades held you down, Bakugou’s gruff voice telling you to stay still.

“I just wanna see how it looks, fuckin’ chill out princess.”

It’s not like you could argue, so off slid your shorts. You tried to protest again when you felt fingers hooking into the waistband of your panties, but another swift slap to your rear had you keening in pain, quickly falling silent. You could let him assess the damage, but that was it. If he tried to touch you further, you’d bite a chunk of his skin off, go find your phone and call the police.

With your lower half bared to the room, you squirmed uncomfortably, immediately stilling when Bakugou’s hand smoothed over the abused skin of your ass. He seemed fascinated by the damage he had caused, and you were sure that there were welts, maybe even bruises already forming. Your skin burned, and not in a pleasant way. God, it was painful.

There was so much pain, your skin somehow felt numb and on fire at the same time. You almost didn’t notice Bakugou’s hand dropping to your thigh, slowly beginning to wiggle it’s way upward, headed towards the little pink slit nestled between your legs.

When his hand made contact with your pussy, you flipped out.

Almost literally - you rocketed off the man’s lap so fast that you almost flipped over onto the ground, just barely catching yourself at the last second.

And then you were standing in front of the man, lower half completely bared, him staring at the space between your thighs, before slowly dragging his eyes upward to find your own.

You turned tail and ran for the door.

A problem with your aforementioned plan of calling the police, was forgetting that Bakugou was a security guard. His job was literally chasing people down, subduing them.

He had you pinned to the door in a matter of seconds, chuckling in your ear.

“Damn, I really was just only gonna spank your ass raw. You look goddamn delicious though, and it seems like you just haven’t learned your fucking lesson.”

You were hauled backward, a hand pulling your hair, the other wrapped around your waist. For the second time that day, you were tossed onto the bed, but this time you barely stayed for a second, already trying to scramble off the other side. But Bakugou was faster, his hand around your calf and dragging you back to him with an iron grip.

A scream tore out of your throat, and you kicked at the man with all your strength as you got closer, catching him square in the jaw. His head snapped back, but his grip never loosened, keeping you stationary while you tried to wiggle away.

His other hand came up to massage his jaw while he slowly rolled his head down to fix you with the most intense, hungry look you’d ever seen a human wear.

“Ohhh, shit. You don’t even know what you just did, do you princess?”

You gasped at his breathy laugh, the way his eyes seemed to light up. Within a second, he was on top of you, face inches away from your own. You could feel his dick, hard against your thigh.

“Wait, you don’t have to do this-think of the consequences! Please, I won’t tell anyone, just let me go, right now. You don’t want to do this Bakugou, please, it’s not gonna be good for either of us-“

He ignored your reasoning, instead focusing on ripping off your shirt, doing the same to your bra. You tried to stop him, hitting and punching, trying to sink your nails into his back, claw at his eyes. You even resorted to snapping your teeth at his nose when his face got too close, turning your head to sink your teeth into his forearm.

Bakugou just groaned throatily, his eyes fluttering shut. Immediately, you let go, not expecting that response. That was supposed to hurt, why wasn’t he yelling in pain? The man lifted his forearm, watching blood start to drip from where your blunt teeth had punctured his skin. He was breathing heavily, straddling your legs, hunched over you like a dog.

The next seconds were a blur, clothes coming off, his hands manhandling you onto your side, his deranged laughter and low, excited swearing filling your ears.

You found yourself on your side, Bakugou straddling one thigh, holding the other up with his arm. He was lining himself up with your opening, rough hand guiding his dick to nudge against your entrance. You screamed.

“Stop it! Stop it, please! You can’t do this! Oh god, stop, stop, stop, don’t-“

“I can do whatever the hell I want, princess.” The man spat, seemingly unaffected by the way you thrashed your body. You tried kicking the leg under him, but his weight anchored it firmly to the bed. You tried kicking the leg he was holding in the arm, but his tight grip just became painful, squeezing you into place. You tried to sit up, to reach out and grab him by the neck and squeeze, but the position you were in was impossible. He knew what he was doing.

You screamed again, a sound of pained, fearful anger crawling out of your throat. Bakugou just laughed.

“This wouldn’t be happening if you had just been good and listened to me. We could’ve gotten along.” He gathered the spit in his mouth, before crudely spitting onto his fingers. “I would’ve left you alone for now, I mean, I’m not a bad guy. “ Bakugou slapped his spit-slicked fingers down over your pussy, smearing his saliva along your folds, messily rubbing it in.

“I’m an upstanding citizen, I keep little crooks and stupid brats from running things their way, that’s all I’m doing.”

You yelled as a finger entered you, probing at your walls. “That hurts! Take it out, take it out! You’re disgusting, get off of me! Stop-!”

Bakugou kept talking, pointedly ignoring your panicked whining.

“Yeah, I’ve seen you before, and you’ve got a nice little body. But it’s not like I was just gonna up and hold you down. Good thing you’ve been giving me reasons all week though, being an absolute spoiled-ass princess, you’re so fucking annoying.”

Another finger joined the first, roughly jamming into your cunt, your juices beginning to flow and smooth the way. It was so stupid that your body was responding to this.

“I woulda never touched you, no matter how much I fucking wanted to, if you had just been good. I guess it works for me that you’ve been shit, huh?”

The man laughed again, leaning down towards your face to smile at you in a jeer, adding another finger to your aching pussy. The stretch hurt, it was too soon, but it felt good nonetheless. It’d been a while since you’d last messed around with someone.

When his fingers retracted, you gasped, face quickly blushing red. Another glob of spit was ejected onto Bakugou’s hand, and he quickly slicked up his cock with his own saliva, hissing as he first touched it.

As he lined himself up, you tried begging one more time. “Bakugou, Bakugou, please. Please don’t, you don’t want to do this. You can’t! Just let me up, please? Oh god, please, just let me go, I won’t tell anyone.”

He shoved the entirety of his cock inside with one, jarring thrust.

You screamed, voice cracking in the middle. The stinging pain of your ass was forgotten in the face of the jabbing, spiky pain in your lower abdomen. Bakugou hissed, eyes closed in bliss.

“God, you’re fuckin’ tight. You a virgin?”

Tears in your eyes from the unexpected pain of being filled so suddenly, you shook your head no. Bakugou clicked his tongue.

“Ah, I kinda figured. Slut like you probably can’t go a few days without a cock stuffing your cunt.” A thought seemed to cross his mind, and Bakugou’s eyes opened, peering down at you inquisitively, a slight twinkle in his eye.

“Is that why you’ve been such a demanding little princess?” You shook your head no vehemently, the pain slowly fading the longer Bakugou remained still inside you. “Holy fuck, that’s why you’ve been like this all week! You just needed a cock!” The man laughed before reaching a hand down to pat your face condescendingly. “Don’t you worry princess, I’ll give you what you need.”

No further words were spoken, despite how much you wanted to scream and yell and curse at the man above you. He immediately drew his cock back, before thrusting into you again, quickly finding a mind-numbing pace that didn’t allow you any time to think.

His thrusts were smooth, steady, fast - it was hard, no, impossible to stop yourself from moaning at how good everything was starting to feel, despite how much you didn’t want it to. It was even worse when Bakugou’s hand found it’s way to your clit, beginning to furiously rub the little button as he fucked you stupid.

“Yeah, you fuckin’ like that?”

You ignored him completely, turning your face against the covers of the guest bed. Bakugou just huffed, increasing his pace ever so slightly.

It wasn’t long before you were gasping, moaning on every other breath, trying to hold yourself back from begging the man to let you cum. You writhed underneath him, trying to arch your hips back to meet every one of his thrusts, ride the hand that was rubbing at your clit so nicely.

Your orgasm hit you out of nowhere.

It fizzed in your stomach, pleasure racing through you so quickly that you lost your breath, muscles locking up. It felt so good, you couldn’t breath, couldn’t move. Bakugou fucked you through it, smirking down as you obviously rode out your orgasm, his finger falling away from your clit before you could get overstimulated.

A few more thrusts, and Bakugou pulled out, quickly moving to straddle your chest as he quickly jerked himself off. His hand made the most lewd sound, squelching up and down his length that was drenched in your juices.

You were so blissed out from your orgasm, you almost didn’t mind when cum started splattering over your face.

You did mind, however, when Bakugou tried to rub it into your skin after he finished. A quick snap of your jaws towards his fingers made your point clear, and Bakugou backed off.

“We have plenty of time to work on you, seems like you still need to be put in your place by the man of the house. Spoiled little princess.”

——

When your mom got home, you barely kept yourself from sobbing in her arms as she hugged you. You wanted to tell her everything that had happened, what Bakugou had done to you - but that would just make her more paranoid, fearful.

She would lock you in the house and never let you leave. Plus it was embarrassing. “Hey mom, by the way, the babysitter you hired for me, your adult child, raped me after spanking me so hard I bruised, and I couldn’t stop him!” Wasn’t a sentence you wanted to utter. You were weak, and stupid.

Bakugou watched in the background, his backpack slung over his shoulder, ready to head across the street and back to his own house. Your mom kissed your hair, finally disentangling herself from your arms, moving to talk to the gruff blond. You stayed by the door, watching Bakugou with narrow eyes.

“We were fine - although, you were right in having someone come over. She’s irresponsible as hell, I don’t know what could’ve happened if I wasn’t here to stop her from doing stupid shit.”

Your mom threw you a disapproving glance, quickly turning to thank Bakugou for helping the two of you out. She pressed money into his hand, but he told her not to worry about it - he got to eat good food, sleep in a nice bed, and the wifi was better here than at his house. Your mom gave him a quick hug, and you watched his face sour, before he quickly moved away from her grasp.

“Just let me know if you ever need me to come hangout with her again - I think it’s good for her to have a strong male figure in her life. And my wifi sucks, so it’s a win-win for everyone.”

Except you.

Your mom clapped her hands together excitedly. “Oh, that’d be perfect! What a nice young man you are, I knew you were trustworthy.”

Your stomach soured.

Bakugou said his goodbyes, obviously trying to get out of the house and away from your touchy mother as quickly as possible. Your mother thanked him again, welcoming him over “at any time!” To use the faster wifi, as long as he wouldn’t mind hanging out with you.

Bakugou gave a gruff laugh, brushing past you on his way out the door. He turned, looking at your mother, then at you.

“I’ll be here to help out, don’t you worry princess.”

You slammed the door in his face.

He was never stepping foot in your house again, not if you could help it.

#katsuki bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bakugou headcanons #bakugou #bakugou imagine #katsuki bakugo x reader #bnha bakugo katsuki #yandere #yandere bakugou #oneshot #gross bakugou #uhh idk tags #tags?#yandere bnha

1K notes · View notes

fourfucksake · 3 years

Text

let it snow

request: Can you do something with Chris sleeping with a friend? Maybe she comes and stays over and it snowed to hard for her to leave. They watch a movie and drink a little and it leads to rough sex on the couch?

pairing: chris evans x fem!black!reader

warnings: language, smut

word count: 2k

p.s i’m sorry for being inactive! i’m fine, just lazy

Visiting Chris right before Christmas was a tradition that we both shared for a long time. A few years ago, we met while filming a movie together, and our friendship blossomed very quickly. Being casted for that movie was my first role ever; back then, the show-biz, “the” Hollywood was truly one big puzzle that I had to solve on my own. The role I had wasn’t big nor significant, but it meant everything to me. The memories from those filming days were so close to my heart. Not to mention the friendship I built with Chris Evans that was also very dear to myself.

In that movie, I played the girl Chris slept with several times and at the end she finally got him to solve a mystery which led to a plot twist. Despite this description, the role wasn’t really that big, and I only had like three scenes where my character was somehow important. As imagined, all the sex talks we had as our characters were the start of me developing crush on him. Yes, I adored him as a fan for years but after that once scene where we almost kissed (and had to reshoot it way too many times) made me go crazy over him. It was downright embarrassing that literally no man that I have ever slept with made me as turned on as Chris did by almost kissing me.

“Chris!” I yelled while greeting him, giving his body a warm hug. His huge arms wrapped around me always gave me the snuggest feeling inside, I loved the smallest touch of his affection on myself. A loud laugh left my lips as he picked me up, completely erasing the distance between us. I gave him a small peck on a cheek before my feet were back again on the ground. “No Dodger?” I asked out of curiosity after not being able to spot one of my favourite creatures. “Nope, not today. He is with Scott, I left him there since I only came to this house for a couple of days before going back to my brother’s. Didn’t want to move him around like that, you know?” He explained as he rested his shoulder on the doorframe while I undressed from the heavy winter clothing. I hanged my big, fluffy coat and took my boots off before we entered his big living room.

Our “Christmas Dinner” was filled with laughs and banter. I almost forgot how amusing Chris really was, he always did everything to make the other person laugh out loud. Being with him was always great fun and however horrible that sounds I was ecstatic when the snowfall outside transformed into an apocalypse. Of course, I pretended that I really need to head back home, and nothing will stop me, but Chris refused to let me leave in this weather. After twenty minutes of going back and forth in argument, I gave up. He seemed pleased which was a relief because I would’ve hated feeling like I’m not wanted.

Chris made us both a cup of hot chocolate as we continued to talk. We made a promise regarding Christmas gift, swearing on each other’s lives that they will only be unwrapped on an actual Christmas Day. Still, I had a feeling he will open his as soon as I leave through that door. My eyes rolled as he deliberated about how his gift was surely better than mine, Tired of his annoying whimpers, I picked a TV remote and started looking through films on Disney+. “This will shut you up for like an hour or, at least I hope so,” I said with a silly face and showed him the middle finger as he laughed in response.

Focusing on the TV screen, I tried not to think about different, erotic scenarios of the both of us. His presence near me was enough to make my thoughts livid. His hand was placed on my knee, which I could not stop thinking about, no matter how hard I tried to. If Chris knew what my dirty thoughts were including him in, he would most likely show me where the door is. Or, possibly, throw me out of the window. I couldn't help but stress in his presence. It was simply not possible not to. When I thought I could control myself around him, he would start stroking my thigh, driving my consciousness crazy. He could sense that I was nervous, or at least I thought that he could, because he looked at me with his bug puppy eyes. He said nothing, just stared in the bluntest way possible. I returned the stare, unable to form words that would make any sense.

Gazing into my eyes, he positioned his hand on my cheek. Involuntarily, a familiar shiver ran through my entire body. Ugh, he was perfect, and I hated him for it. I just knew I was not the only girl to feel this way about him. You didn’t have to know him to lust over his self. I opened my lips as he began to approach me, getting closer to my face with every millisecond. Our lips finally joined in a passionate kiss. My hand quickly rested on top of his, caressing the skin on his fingers which were placed on my face. My hormones were screaming and in a spare of the moment, (and inflow of confidence) I moved onto his laps and sat on them straddling. I took over the situation with dominance, but Chris quickly took it back when he put his hands on my ass and lifted me up to lay myself on my back on the couch.

“I wanted to do this for so long, you have no idea,” He whispered right into my lips as his hand slipped under the fabric of my sweatshirt. A long, drawn-out moan escaped my mouth as his lips found their way to the skin on my neck. I was panting hard with my mouth open. One of my hands landed between the locks of his hair that I pulled on. I cursed softly under my breath as his fingers tightened on my hip and then moved to my breasts that were still covered by the fabric of my top and lace bra.

“So damn beautiful.” His words sounded like a tune to my ears. Now, I could confirm that no compliments sounded better than those formed by Mr. Chris Evans himself. His fingers sneaked into my private part once again as they slipped under my leggings. I consciously and willingly let them do so. I was already excited, maybe even more than I wanted to admit. Rarely has a man managed to bring me to this state by not doing anything special, but Chris definitely did.

My mind was full of thoughts concerning what we were doing in this very moment. Has he already done this with some other naive aspiring actress? Am I just another name on his long list waiting to be crossed out? My morals and standards, and more importantly, my substantial self-respect were all screaming at me right about now. Unfortunately, my thirst and excitement won the arguments inside my head. “Chris, p-please,” I whispered and desperately pulled the hair at the top of his head. “F-Fuck me,” My lips finally formed a dreadful plea for more.

Chris didn't wait any longer, as if I gave him an order that he had to obey. He quickly deprived my body of all of its clothing, his hungry gaze followed my flesh this whole time. He was discovering every inch of my skin for the first time, concentrating on it as if he wanted to remember every single detail. I did not want to do any worse than him, therefore my hands also started a fight with his clothes, aggressively removing them from his body.

“Condom, I need-“ He mumbled inexplicably, the second part of his sentence was most certainly inaudible but at least I understood what he started looking for from its first part. I watched him out as his fingers grabbed the fabric of his pants. He reached out to the pocket, grabbing a silver wrapper between his two fingers, and I stared at it with a rather surprised look. He was prepared for this and I let him. He knew or at least he wanted this to happen. And I let him. Stupid girl.

My eyes followed him precisely as he returned to me. His knees settled on the couch and I opened my own wide for him to view. I licked my two fingers slowly before directing them to my pussy, slowly caressing and massaging it. Chris was watching me this whole time and his gaze was getting more and more hungry which undoubtedly stimulated all my senses.

Our eyes reconnected and we both smiled at each other at the same time. I licked my lips as I watched the rubber material slide smoothly over his swollen cock. He got closer to me and hit my entrance with his dick several times which was met with a loud moan escaping my lips. I was seconds away from begging him to push inside of me, but my needs were met with his sudden actions. Satisfied was an understatement as I felt his impressive length penetrating my inside.

From the first thrust, his hips moved quickly, with force. I felt him whole, from his core to his round tip. I felt his body pressing onto mine as his balls slapped my flesh with each movement. I tilted my head back and gasped like a wounded animal. My hand blindly travelled to his muscular torso, digging my long nails into his skin. He hissed in response, but his movements became faster, only adding extra pleasure to my private part. I felt my insides pulsing in response to his dick slamming onto me.

Chris grabbed my leg under the calf and placed my heel on his shoulder. I took advantage of this placement and stretched my leg at the knee as I placed it as comfortably as possible on his shoulder. My hand rested on my boob, which I squeezed, and his eyes rested on the new image in front of him. We didn't exchange a single word, but we both gave each other the right glances that boldly approved of every move on our part.

Feeling ecstatic to say the least, I enjoyed every moment. I needed this. I needed to forget about the world, cool my abusive emotions and relish this quick experience. He gave me precisely what I craved. Moreover, I was confident he adored it just as much, which I saw from the droplets of sweat running down his forehead and from his plump lips producing multiple curse words as his body moved within me. His chest rose quickly and fell rapidly with each hard thrust. I rolled my eyes in pleasure, unable to help myself. I was so close to the orgasm that the man of my dreams was driving me to.

Feeling his warmth inside of me made me toes curl. This was so fucking good. I could confidently say that he too enjoyed himself, which the droplets of sweat running down his forehead and a bunch of swear words escaping his plump lips indicated. His chest rose and fell quickly with each hard thrust. Unable to help themselves, my eyes rolled in great pleasure. My breathing was rapid and unsteady as he drove me to a needed orgasm. I couldn’t feel his cum inside of me but his moans and pleads ensured me of his sweet release.

We looked at each other’s eyes when our breathing finally normalized from all that we have done right on that poor couch. Thankfully, I sensed no strange atmosphere in the air that could foreshadow the end of our friendship. Everything seemed so normal, so platonic and I felt an unimaginable sense of relief. “Round two?” He scanned my face with a smirk placed on his lips and flames in his eyes. I smiled in response because no words were needed to answer his question. My legs wrapped around his hips once again, his posture bent down in order to link our lips in a kiss, indicating a fresh start to our next game.

#chris evans imagine #chris evans imagines #chris evans one shot #chris evans smut #chris evans #imagine

177 notes · View notes

nothing-but-dreamy · 3 years

Text

ON THE EDGE ~ Pt. 7

Characters: Gavin Reed x fem!Reader; Connor; Hank Anderson;

Warnings: cursing

Words: 2.204

Sweat was running down Gavin's muscled body. He was groaning and moaning breathlessly while he enjoyed the sweet pain shooting through his lower abdomen. He was shuddering and shaking. The rhythmically moves were what he needed now. The physical interactions were what he craved for.

It was three in the morning as Gavin trained on his boxing bag until he almost collapsed. Gasping for air, he hugged the bag and slumped down on his knees. He closed his eyes violently as burning sweat was running into them. The past evening was running endlessly through his mind like a broken record or … a rollercoaster. Once again, he was tormenting himself.

…the kiss … I love you … he's nice… why him … I wish you two just all the best … Gavin, wait! …

"Fuck, damn it…", Gavin whispered. He was exhausted and not just because of the training and the lack of sleep. But rather emotionally. Like he had feared, the situation was a mess. It was a disaster. He had waited too long with admitting his feelings and now, he had lost yn to an android. Nothing was as worst as the thought that he had lost the fight about her because of Connor.

Gavin knew he would go crazy if any of this would last longer. Slowly, he opened his eyes, determined that he had to change something. He couldn't force yn to love him back. Mostly not if she had chosen someone else instead of him. But he could force himself to store away the feelings he had for her. It would need some time and it wouldn't be easy but Gavin had to do something or otherwise it would end him.

Yn wasn't able to find sleep during the last night. Everything that had happened was a bit too much and a bit too confusing. Connor. Gavin. Two guys kissing her at the same evening. Was that a prank and she just couldn’t understand the payoff of the joke? And not just that Gavin had kissed her, he also had confessed his feelings for her? Feelings she never expected him to have for her. Of course, they were working together and they had grown together as very good friends but … Gavin Reed was loving her? Her idiotic douchebag partner was loving her and she had no idea?

Then, there was what had happened during the kiss with Connor. Sure, she liked the android. He was nice, friendly, handsome but after all, he was an android. Since they got invented, she was a supporter of them. She couldn’t see them as ‘things’ like others did. She would never get one on her own but she also couldn’t imagine being with one of them. She knew herself good enough to know that she would miss something. And as Connor had kissed her, surprisingly skilled how she had to admit, something got triggered inside her. Connor kissed her but it wasn't the lips she wanted to feel on hers, she realized. As he brought her closer, it wasn't the hands she wanted to feel on her body. As yn stopped the kiss, it wasn’t the pair of eyes she wished to look into…

It was three in the morning and yn accepted the fact that sleep was something she wouldn’t find, therefore, she just stood up, took a shower and filled herself up with as much coffee as she could to get through the next few hours. She was thankful as it was time to go to work.

As she entered the DPD, she was glad to see Connor already sitting at his desk AND she was happy to see that Gavin hadn’t arrived yet. Therefore, she could talk with Connor first before she could speak with Gavin.

Connor shot up from his desk as he noticed yn coming over to him, “Good morning.”, he said with a broad smile but he also noticed that she looked tired, “Is everything okay?”, he asked concerned.

“No, if I should be honest-”

“Is it because of the kiss? Like I said, I’m sorry. It was a thoughtless reaction-”

“I know and I’m not- look, Gavin had seen us yesterday. He told me that as we met in the bar… Gavin, he wasn’t really … pleased about it-”

“Not please? What does that mean?”, Connor asked confused.

Yn felt how her brain was just goo and she had no idea how she should go through this day with all this useless, emotional crap during the preparation time for this important case. But she had to deal with it. She pinched the bridge of her nose before she looked up at Connor, “You know how he is. I will talk with him. Trying to remember him to focus on the case first.”, she said calmly. She already felt bad for rejecting Connor how she had done it the previous night. Now, the android didn’t also need to get treated badly by Gavin who felt rejected as well. She feared he would try to take out his anger on the android. Yn wanted to talk with Gavin, to tell him the truth, telling him what she had found out about her feelings but this morning wasn’t the right time. She hoped he would understand that.

Never in her whole life, Yn was so wrong.

As she saw Gavin entering the DPD, she hurried over to intercept him, brave enough to speak with him, “Gavin, hey, about yesterday-”, she tried but his dead glance stopped her.

“Not now, yn. We have work to do.”, Gavin said ice cold. He saw her shocked expression about his distanced behavior. It hurted him to see her like this because of his reaction but if he wanted to get over her, he had to be strong. The last thing he needed was to hear anything about her developing relationship with Connor.

He was about to leave but yn grabbed his arm, “No, please. Don’t run away. We really have to talk, okay?”

Gavin looked into her eyes and he was about to give in but his will was stronger, “No. I don’t wanna talk. Just let us focus on the case.”, he pulled his arm out of her grip and went to his desk.

Yn stared after him speechless. No matter how bad their fights had been before, he never had been this ice cold towards her. Even as they got partnered up he had been an asshole to her at first but never like this. A thick lump was building in her throat and suddenly, yn feared to not just have lost her partner rather even her friend.

As Captain Fowler got the newest results of the case of Yn and the team, he called Captain Allen to secure him and his SWAT unit as support. Captain Allen joined the team as well, and all together they planned the whole mission. Allen didn’t notice anything but Hank saw that there was something going on in the team. Yn and Gavin barely spoke to each other. Whenever she tried to get closer to Gavin he stepped back a bit and focused on some file. Avoiding her at all costs. With Connor was it the same. The android watched Gavin and yn with an unreadable expression. Hank was sure that there was something going on he didn’t know and the way all three acted, he was sure, it was not case related.

To escape the tense air, yn went to Fowler, she got coffee or she talked with Captain Allen about a detail of the case. The whole thing wasn’t that complicated but she was glad to have Allen on their side. Captain Allen and his team would be the backup around the warehouse while Gavin, Hank and Connor would make the raid. As yn and Allen discussed a few more details, a sudden turmoil coming from her desk caught the attention of everyone.

Connor’s unusual behaviour caused yn to run to the android and Gavin as she saw how Connor tried to attack her partner. With a swift move, she brought herself between Connor and Gavin, stopping the android with her hands on his chest. From behind her back, Gavin was yelling at Connor, “You stupid tin can!”

“Yeah? I will show you how stupid I am!”, Connor yelled back and yn had difficulties holding Connor at bay.

Slowly, she pushed Connor back before she looked alternate from Connor at Gavin and vice versa, not understand what had happened, “Both of you calm the fuck down! What is going on here?”, she asked serious. Sure, she knew what the topic could be but how that could escalate this quickly was a miracle.

Connor, still with a raging glance in his eyes, answered the question first, “The whole day, he makes some remarks.”

Gavin stepped forward, “Yes, because you stupid plastic toy are getting on my nerves!”, he yelled back.

“Gavin! Calm down!”, yn tried to sooth her partner but Gavin was in his raging mode, staring at the android with dark eyes.

“What is your problem, huh? Can't you accept that you will never have a chance with her?”, Connor asked teasingly. Yn was shocked that Connor was able to be nasty like this. He was provoking Gavin even more but on the other hand she had no idea what Gavin had done the whole time. A movement on her side caught her attention.

“You mother fucking prick!”, Gavin cursed, ready to jump at Connor.

Yn held Gavin back, her hands were barely able to push the man back who was so angry, “Gavin, no!”, she said seriously. As she noticed that Connor wanted to react as well, she looked at him warningly, “Connor, no!”

“What the hell is going on here?”, Fowler yelled from the opened door of his office. Connor and Gavin were still staring at each other, ready to explode any second.

“Nothing, Captain. Just their typical bickering. I will take care of it.”, yn tried to reassure her boss.

Angry about both of them, she pushed Gavin and Connor out of the open office, “Get into the kitchen! Both! Now!”, she demanded angrily. Her nerves were raw. The day was almost over. The operation had been planned completely. Everyone knew what they had to do and yet, these two couldn’t be as calm as she had hoped for.

Hank followed them and stayed near the entrance as help if needed and to prevent someone from walking in.

“What the hell is going on?”, yn asked angrily and annoyed. Gavin had walked to one wall, leaning against it with crossed arms and looked at a point on the ground while Connor just stood there in the middle of the kitchen.

“He was getting on my nerves all day.”, the android said as a defence.

“Yes, because you’re a stupid plastic-”, Gavin called out.

But yn stopped him as she stepped forward, “You! Don't act innocent! We have to work together! All of us! This case is important! So, we have to sort things out, now!”, she said serious.

Gavin stepped forward. Even Hank was alarmed but Gavin just stared down at yn angrily, “No! You have to sort out things with him. I didn't start the fight. He attacked me!”

Now, Connor stepped forward as well, anger rising in his system, “Because you couldn't stop bothering me the whole day!”, and because Connor wasn’t used to such emotions, he started to attack Gavin once again.

Yn stopped the android and even Hank stepped forward to hold his partner back.

Gavin saw yn touching Connor and something broke inside of him. The whole day he tried his best to keep his temper down. He had picked on Connor because otherwise, he would have let out his anger on yn and that was the last thing he wanted. But now, to see them together, in such an intimate way, was too much and Gavin did the only thing he could do to prevent something worse, “I don't need this. I'm outta here!”, he called out and passed the three to rush out of the DPD.

“Gavin, wait!,” yn called out but once again, he was running away from her. The same move he had done the last few days over and over again, “Fuck damnit!”, she cursed, kicking against a bin and walked up and down.

Hank noticed quickly what was going on. To him, everything made sense. Now, yn just needed a push into the right direction, “Kiddo, follow Gavin. He needs you now.”

Yn looked up into the friendly expression of Hank before she nodded. She looked apologetically at Connor before she left the DPD as well to follow her stubborn and idiotic partner.

Confused, Connor watched after yn and looked at Hank, “Why have you sent her after him? Reed acted like an idiot.”

“Look, these two are... They have to find out what they are by themselves. But, obviously, you were the trigger.”

“What do you mean?”

“I guess they're more than just partners. They have to talk about what they are. I will explain it to you.”, Hank said as he saw Connor's confused expression.

#connor rk800 #detroit become human gavin #dbh gavin reed #dbh gavin #gavin reed #gavin x reader #gavin reed x reader #detroit become human #fandom love #fandom #fanfiction #fanfic #writing

61 notes · View notes

bimsha · 3 years

Note

Hello! Can I have an Epiphany request for:

Anime - K Project

Character - Hisui Nagare

Song - Always in my heart by Tamaru Yamada

https://youtu.be/ntqxI9I6Opo

This is my first request in your blog and I look forward of how the request will turn out to be! Thank you and take care always! 🖤

Always In My Heart (Hisui Nagare x Reader)

"The life it's not for comparing things So i hold both of light and shadow"

Song : Always in My Heart but Tamaru Yamada

The sky was heavy with clouds, glooming over his head with their unshed raindrops. The tombs in the cemetery shadowed by the gloom standing in perfect lines holding in themselves a heavy sorrow, a sad story behind them. There was no one in sight, except for an old man a few feet away staring at a tomb. His thin, grey hair ruffling in the soft breeze passing them. He broke his gaze from the man back to the tomb in front of him. Gleaming even in the shadowy surroundings. He knelt and placed the bunch of white lilies in front of the tomb. She loved white lilies.

Six months ago, he was woken up to the blinding ceiling above him and the smell of antiseptic, a bitter smell for his sensitive nose. He moved his head to the right and immediately squinted at the blinding light filtering through the translucent curtains. Sitting there on the white windowsill was a vase with fresh flowers. Who would even bother? He thought glumly moving from the creaking hospital bed to a sitting position. He didn’t remember what happened. His last memory was charging at the Red King until his vision blackened. He needed more strength. His name was Nagare Hisui: The Green King, for certain people. He was supposed to be powerful. Powerful than the man he is right now and he was pretty sure he wasn’t supposed to be sitting inside a lonely hospital room. Hisui struggled for a while and finally managed to sit down. There was no one inside the room. He didn’t mind the silence but it was suffocating sometimes. He didn’t have his phone, nor had a way to contact the others.

Hence, he took the best decision he could at the moment (his doctors would probably think it’s the worst decision) He made an attempt to move and managed to place his feet on the cold floor. The male stood up, one hand tightly gripping the bedpost while the other freezing in mid-air as he tried to balance. The truth was, he didn’t use his legs at all. And rarely moved. That was his way of preserving power inside him, and he didn’t blame his legs when they gave him little support and dragged him back to the bed with a pained grunt. He’ll need to try a bit more before he could stand straight on the ground. He moved his hands, planting them firmly on his mattress trying to move again when the corner of his eyes caught movement. Hisui looked up, expecting a doctor or a nurse, but from the crack of his slightly opened door was a girl, probably around his age, looking at him with beady eyes. Hisui frowned, “Who is it?”

She looked startled by the sudden attention. He heard something fall and a not-so-pretty curse soon following the sound. She collected whatever thing fell and opened the door using her elbow. It was only then that he saw the crutches and her bandaged foot. “What are you doing?”

The girl frowned. “I heard someone groaning in pain, I just came to look”

Hisui turned his gaze to her bandaged foot and then looked back at her. “And you’re supposed to be out of bed because?”

She rolled her eyes, “Because I was on my way to the exercise rooms. I need to make sure I’m all better and you’re trying so hard to run away because?”

Hisui glared at her. He had always been a man of few words and a real-life conversation was strictly ignored except for his closest people. “I’m just trying to get up”

She gestured to the corner of the room. Hisui followed her gaze to see the familiar wheelchair. “I think that probably has something to do with your inability to walk at the moment”

Hisui would’ve flushed but he barely constrained himself. He was feeling extra emotional and angry this morning. Probably a side effect of pain killers and he blamed Tenkei for bringing him here and not their usual hideout. She doesn’t seem to notice his overwhelming emotional status as she looks around. “Do you need help?”

Hisui almost snapped back a no but hesitated. He did want to get out of this smell and this building. He’d give anything to get some fresh air. “Yes” after a beat, he added, “please”

The girl walked to him with the aid of her crutches and looped one of her arms around him helping the male to walk towards the wheelchair. It was obviously a bad idea, because one, Hisui put his full weight on the girl because he was barely able to walk and two, you shouldn’t ask help to walk from a person using crutches. The almost knocked over the wheelchair and crashed to the floor. “You said you could help” Hisui said, wondering why he was stupid enough to ask her for help.

“I overestimated my abilities to help you, pardon” She grinned from her place on the floor. She didn’t seem to be least bothered by the fact that both of them were on the floor. And none of them had the ability to walk properly. “Great, just great,” he muttered under his breath. The doctors soon rushed in and helped them from their awkward position and both of them got a heavy warning from the doctors. Hisui scowled at them, looking away. The girl apologized to them again, turning to leave the room when he finally realized he hadn’t even gotten the name of that annoying human being. But before he could talk, she was gone. He could barely make out her outline, limping towards a door just a few feet away from his own hospital room. The rest of the day he finally decided to bear in the hospital for a bit longer. When Tenkei arrived in the afternoon with Sukuna he did his best to compose himself without lunging at him like a hungry wolf. (Not that he was in any status to do that anyway) Tenkei apologized profusely, trying to make amends with the Green King while Sukuna stood behind him making faces and giggling uncontrollably. According to him, seeing Nagare Hisui inside a hospital was a once in a lifetime chance. After the visiting hours were over, they both bid farewell to the male. Tenkei promised him he’d talk about the discharge with the authorities. He barely looked at the food they brought him. Instead, he found himself wondering about the weird girl he met earlier. It was one hell of a first impression she made.

When the nurse came to give him his medication, he actually found himself asking about her. The nurse smiled, “Oh, you must be talking about (Y/n). She had made quite an impression it seems. She’s friendly with everyone around here. She’s quite talkative”

“I can see that” He mumbled, groaning. "Why is she here?”

“She’s an athlete, had a bad injury”

Hisui wanted to know more details and it was strange that he was pestering about this girl he barely knew about but there was an effect on her. Like she had this magnetic force that drew people in. Hisui had to agree, she was pretty weird. He stopped asking questions and just followed the nurse's instructions focusing on getting discharged instead. But it turned out he’d had to spend a couple of days because they had to run a few tests before releasing him. He didn’t have to wait alone for long, because there she was, waving him by the door. “Can I come in?”

Hisui watched her for a second. His expression was passive and cold. For a moment he wanted to tell her to leave but another part of him wanted to invite her in. He settled with a shrug which the girl interpreted to be a welcoming gesture. She limped towards his bed, “Want to see whether today you can actually get to that wheelchair?”

Hisui shrugged. It was closer to his bed than it was before. He gave it a try, and it certainly worked. She grinned, gesturing towards the door. “Let’s go out. Seems like you could use some fresh air”

As much as he wanted not to accept, the sound of fresh air seemed divine. He followed her in his wheelchair as the girl led him towards an open balcony on their floor. It was empty except for a woman sitting in the lobby adjoining the balcony, staring at a magazine. The quietly passed her and stepped into the open balcony, feeling the fresh air surrounding them. “This is heaven” She muttered, leaning against the railing. Her crutches resting beside her.

Hisui stared at her, confused. “Why are you doing this? I don’t even know you”

She smiled, “You’re the only person who’s closer to my age in here. Everyone’s old. So I thought it'd be great to get to know you!” Her voice was cheerful and… magnetic? He couldn’t place it. But there was a way she talked as if she had been your friend for years. Hisui didn’t really associate with people and he had no idea about social cues. The girl standing in front of him, who was nothing but a stranger was trying to be friends with him. Is this how normal human beings function? He wondered cluelessly.

“How can you be so cheerful when your leg is like that? Aren’t you an athlete?”

“Seems like someone had done his homework” She teased good naturedly. “My leg will get better. I can go back to the track field soon after. I’m counting days until I do.”

“Is it worth it?” He asked, “You’d get injured again” It was almost hypocritical that he was asking this. He himself had given up on his own trying to achieve his goals. What mattered to him were the goals and his ambitions. His health was one of the least things in his mind.

“Don’t jinx it.” She shoved her hands into her pockets. “I’d get better and next time I’d be careful. Running is my dream. What’s life without a dream?”

“An easy one” Hisui blurted out. “You need a goal, not a dream”

She gave him a confused look, “What do you mean?”

“Life is not something to enjoy” Hisui found himself saying. He didn’t know why he was talking about this deep topic with a stranger. But there he was, talking about his ideologies just because he felt she was going after something like that. “It’s a responsibility we all have to carry no matter how bad the outcome will be.”

She was quiet for a moment, “Wow, that’s deep.” (Y/n) sat down on the bench propping her leg on it, looking for a comfortable position. “You can enjoy life, Hisui” He raised his brow when she smiled sheepishly. “I asked your name from one of the nurses. Anyway, as I was saying, don’t you think it’s better to enjoy the life you have than to just think of it as a responsibility? There’s much more to it than you think”

“Don’t you like to be powerful and have control of your life, Y/n? To have your own hidden power?”

She laughed, “You don’t need a power to control your own life Hisui. Your life is yours. What you do with it is your choice.” She sighed, looking at the sky above them, clear blue like a crystal. “It’s sad you think your life is just some game or a responsibility. There’s so much more to it”

Hisui was not convinced but he didn’t talk anymore. He was done with expressing himself deeply for the day. He didn’t know how she was able to get him to talk at all. Did she secretly have a power? Was she serious about not wanting a power? He didn’t find answers to his questions but he did find an annoying friend. After his routine medication, Y/n bursts into his room with a grin. “I’ve got something!” She announced, jumping to his bed, WITHOUT his consent. She was close that he could smell her hair. He almost drew away when she dropped a game console in his hand. “I’ve got the staff to let us play video games!” Her voice was cheery, almost as if she had won the gold medal at the Olympics. Hisui stared dumbly at the device when the screen in his room lit up.

“You don’t know what you’re signing up for" Hisui said quietly, gripping on his console. “You’re going to lose”

She huffed, offended by his remark. “The confidence. Let’s see that after the game sweetheart. I’ve got this one”

Actually, she was bad at it. She was so bad at video games that Hisui almost laughed. But her determination was incredible. “One more. I think I got it” She said, leaning forward, squinting at the screen. “Just a little more push”

Hisui shook his head as the screen displayed Game Over. She groaned, falling back to the bed as if it was her own. For the first time in his life, Hisui didn’t mind someone he barely knew was right beside him, playing video games and losing like a pro. “Told you”

“You’re just too good at this” She muttered, sitting back up. “Teach me your ways, sensei”

“No”

“Rude” She groaned, “One more game?”

“You’re going to lose, what’s the difference?”

“It’s fun?”

“It is not”

“You smiled though” She said with a cocky grin. Hisui was quite sure he DID NOT smile.

“I didn’t” He added firmly, crossing his arms. “You’re imagining things”

“Isn’t this fun?” This time Hisui actually answered the question.

“A bit, I guess”

“What do you think about life now?” She asked hopefully. Hisui actually snorted at that question.

“Life is not a video game.”

She scowled, nudging him with her elbow. The bandages were off her leg, Hisui noticed, blinking. And she was not even wearing the hospital gown. How did he miss those changes? “Are you out of the hospital?”

“Took you exactly two hours to notice, congrats! But yes I am. Still not allowed in the fields but I’m trying on my own.” She patted her leg. “I’d be up and running in no time”

“Don’t you get sick of it?” Hisui asked, leaning back. “Do you think any of this has any meaning at all?"

She leaned back with him. Their heads were just a few centimeters apart from each other. They both stared at the ceiling. “Does it matter? As long as I know my dreams, as long as I can be with the people who are precious to me, I don’t care.” She turned her head to look at his eyes. “Life is not something you calculate and walk through. Take it as you can and try your best and you’ll see the light at the end of the tunnel, that’s what my mom told me.”

Precious people, Hisui thought, moving his gaze back to the ceiling. His mind instantly landed on the small group he always had with him. The only family he ever had. Hisui loved and cared for them, he really did. But was it enough? Y/n laughed beside him. “You got your thinking face on. Stop being so hard on yourself”

“I am not being hard on myself”

“You are being hard on yourself. You never smile, you’re always like this” She made a ridiculous expression on her face.

Hisui leaned in and flicked her forehead, groaning. “I do not” He felt his lips curl into a smile. A genuine smile that lightened his heart. She truly had this aura around him that cheered others up in an instant.

“See? You look really good when you’re smiling”

Hisui scowled, “Shut up”

Their conversation was cut short by Yukari, who walked in with a handful of bags and a bunch of flowers being the gentleman he is. Hisui’s eyes instantly landed on the flowers, white lilies. “Aren’t those for funerals?” He didn’t care Yukari saw him with the girl, he had his eyes on the flowers.

Y/n slapped his arm, standing up. “Those are white lilies!” She exclaimed looking at him. “They symbolize purity and rebirth. Like I can go back to the field again!” She twirled around with a laugh. “Stop seeing negativity and start looking for something positive young man” She bowed to Yukari who looked rather impressed.

“The young lady knows what she’s talking about. Think positively Hisui”

She smiled, a gentle smile that was always there when she talked with him. She waved, “I’d see you two around then. And you” She pointed a threatening finger. “Don’t you dare say anything about white lilies, they are my favourite flowers”

Yukari raised his brow with an amused smile as she left the room and Hisui found himself already missing her. After that, Y/n didn’t come around for a few days. Hisui quietly wondered whether she had finally gotten enough of him when she walked in just the day before his discharge. “Hello, missed me?”

“No” Hisui answered right off the bat.

“Liar liar pants on fire” She sang along, walking in. Her hair moving to her moments, the curls at the end bouncing with rhythm. He didn’t know when he started to notice the little things about her. “Wanna go to the rooftop?”

Hisui shrugged. He had done some exercise the past few days and now with some help he could actually move. Y/n wrapped one of her arms around him helping him up. They both took the lift to reach the rooftop. As soon as they reached there, Hisui collapsed onto a bench with an exhausted sigh. She sat down beside him. Both of them were welcomed by the blue sky, patterned with white clouds. The breeze around them was comforting. “I finally started practicing again” she said. There was this glint of excitement in her eyes that Hisui never saw when looking in the mirror. She was actually passionate about what she loved.

“Good for you” He said, allowing himself to be happy for her.

“What are you going to do when you leave? I don’t know a thing about you”

“I don’t know. Just continue what I have been doing, I guess.” He stated with a sigh. He had no idea what he wanted to do anymore. She had changed something in him. “Don’t you get scared?” He asked, “There will always be someone better than you no matter how hard you try. Don’t you think everyone should have the same powers and talents?”

She shrugged, “If you keep comparing yourself to others your whole life, you’re not living it, you’re judging yourself. The best is to keep trying your best and treat yourself like you deserve everything you have right now. If everyone had equal things the world would be so boring. When I see someone powerful than me, it gives me a thrill to try harder. Gives me a purpose. I’m going to reach that level”

The wind carried the long locks of her hair behind her. Hisui felt a tingling sensation to reach out and tuck it behind her ear. “Aren’t you afraid Y/n? You’d lose yourself if you just kept pushing yourself like that”

She turned around to look at him and laughed nudging their shoulders together. “Silly, I know who I am” She placed a hand on her chest, proudly huffing. “Right here in my heart I’ll always know me”

Hisui hummed, not answering. He turned back to the sky as both sat there in the comfortable silence, reminiscing the words they had spoken, the depths they had gone into each other’s souls. After some time, they decided to head back. The air was getting colder around them. She stood by the door looking at him for a moment. “I’ll see you tomorrow! I’d come back with chocolates to celebrate you getting discharged!”

Hisui’s heart skipped a beat and he nodded. She waved at him with the same grin painting her face. He watched her skipping her way towards the lift and waited for it.

That was the last time he saw her.

When he got discharged the next day, his sapphire blue eyes scanned for her figure but found none. The days following were only silence. He grew impatient and finally decided to seek her out. When Tenkei was informed about her address, he went to her place to see her. He had this rare excitement playing upon his heart. A woman opened the door and when he asked her name, the woman’s face crumpled like a sheet of paper. She burst into tears. Hisui stood by the door, stunned when a man came to the door and invited him in. They took him into a room but there was no Y/n. There was only a picture of her sitting on a low table, a vase of white lilies in front of her smiling picture. The same gentle smile. A car crash had stolen her life. The life of the girl who had been the most lively person he had ever met.

He placed the white lilies on the ground in front of the grave stone. Briefly brushing his fingers over the gray tombstone. He crouched in front of it and smiled. A sad watery smile. Silently thanking her for her words that showed him a new path in life. Thanking her for the life lessons she gave him without even knowing. To the moments they shared that he actually enjoyed. Even though brief, she was the most significant person he had ever met in life. Kind, cheerful and beautiful. He wondered what would’ve happened if he was brave enough that day. To talk about his feelings. To tell her that she’s beautiful. If he could’ve gotten a few more moments, he would’ve kissed her lips and told her how amazing she is. How she saved his life.

He walked out of the cemetery with a sad smile. Life does twist in the most painful ways. When someone’s gone, we start regretting the things we were unable to say. Things we were unable to express. It’s just how life works. Y/n’s words echoed in his heart.

“Right here in my heart I’ll always know me”

"I don't know the meaning of life But I know what's truly precious The way it's leading me to be in love No fear I can find me always in my heart"

I have nothing to say myself besides saying I'm really sorry for taking months to do this. I don't blame you if you have forgotten my existence. ;-; I have been lazy af and the full blame is on me. I'm really sorry for making you wait for so long! ))): I'm really sorry again.

#k #K prject #Green clan #Hisui Nagare #Major character death #Sukuna #Tenkei #Yukari #x reader #k project x reader #Hisui nagare x reader #Epiphany #Always in my heart #female reader oneshot #fanfic

26 notes · View notes

alirhi · 3 years

Text

okay. let's do this shit.

Guess what, bitches? Mama bear's back and angry all over again. Remember when I said I might dive into a ragepost about how Bucky's treated after completing the one about Loki? This is it. This is the post. Welcome to fucking Thunderdome.

I will actually try to keep it civil. No promises, but I'll try. and I will not be accepting "constructive criticism" about my rage. Just so we're clear.

Got it? Good. Let's dive in.

In case you don't want to read the whole thing (I know I get wordy) here's what this whole post will boil down to: BUCKY NEVER HAD A FUCKING CHOICE. NEVER. NOT ONCE IN HIS ENTIRE ADULT LIFE.

Now, quick reminder: I don't read comics. I know nothing about Bucky's comic canon, except what Sebastian liked to bring up as often as possible during TWS/CW promotions: at some point, Bucky boned Nat. XD Since Bucky only exists as a Marvel property, I won't be bitching about other source material being disrespected like I did with Loki. This is all MCU, my dudes. And honestly? That's enough, because though we don't see nearly enough of Bucky for my liking, we do manage to get a rich, deep backstory to him in the material we're given, partly thanks to better writing in the early days of the MCU, and partly thanks to Sebastian Stan's phenomenal acting. Unlike the writers of the Loki series, Seb knows how to show, not tell. And gods, what stories those eyes show...

Let's start with the army. In an old post illustrating what an absolute BAMF Bucky Barnes truly is, I mistakenly said he enlisted, and a kind soul educated me on the incredible attention to detail Marvel used to pay - in this case, Bucky's ID number. 32557038. As this kind, eagle-eyed soul pointed out to me, the first two digits of that number - 32 - signify that Bucky was drafted, specifically from the NY, NJ, DE area (that last part is rather obvious, as Bucky and Steve are from Brooklyn lol). Bucky didn't choose to go to war. He was drafted. He was forced to fight, or go to prison.

Bucky was born in 1917, which means - again, as someone pointed out to me a while back - he came of age during the Great Depression. As a child, he would likely have seen his parents living comfortably and able to shower each other and him and his sister with gifts and fun memories, and then POOF. Stock market crashes when he's only 12-years-old, and life becomes brutal and painful. He manages to have some fun with his best friend Steve, and spends his teens/early 20s chasing girls and keeping his stupid, stubborn, tiny friend from getting beaten to death.

Steve constantly has something to prove. He's absolutely got what my mom always called "little man's disease", and Bucky's just doing his best not to roll his eyes too much at this asthmatic chihuahua constantly trying to beat up Tibetan mastiffs. While Steve keeps lying on his enlistment forms (an actual crime) trying again and again to get into the army and prove what a badass he is (definitely not), Bucky's had enough trauma and upheaval in his life and he just wants his stupid friend to calm tf down and live. Enjoy the fact that he doesn't have to go to war and get his limbs blown off.

And then he gets fucking drafted. This sweet, resigned realist who knows exactly how dangerous the war really is, is forced to put on a uniform and go fight strangers alongside other strangers thousands of miles from everything he knows. And on his last night of freedom, when he just wants to hang out with his friend, see some cool gadgets, and dance with a pretty girl, his stupid angry chihuahua friend feels the need to lie and try to enlist again.

Okay. Gotta get back on track. Ragepost about mistreatment of Bucky, not how much Steve annoys me. Sorry. Anyway...

Bucky's drafted, accepts his shitty lot with a brave smile, and is shipped off to Europe, where he is captured by HYDRA and presumed by the Allies to be KIA. Instead, he's strapped down, tortured, and given the HYDRA version of the super serum against his will. Steve rescues him, and Bucky knows he can't leave his idiot friend to his own devices to get his head blown off, so he dives right back into the fray. And then he falls off a cliff, loses most of his left arm, and is declared dead...again. This one's pretty damn valid, though lol. Without the serum no one knew he'd been shot up with, there is no way he would have survived that fall.

Here is where Bucky's story gets truly heartbreaking: His autonomy, his ability to consent is stripped from him through electroshock torture/brainwashing. The trigger words are conditioned into him during this process, and boom. Ten words in Russian, and Bucky Barnes is gone. Even the confused, hurting shadow of him is gone, leaving only a perfectly obedient killing machine, with Bucky's pretty face. He's strong as all hell, though, so they can't keep him fully under their control for long, not without more torture, when the disorientation of being fucking frozen wears off on longer missions.

I cannot stress this point enough, guys: Bucky. Had. No. Choice. Not like the draft, where his choices (go and get shot at, refuse and go to jail, or dodge and run to Canada) just suck. No, he literally didn't have a choice. He had his ability to choose stripped from him. If that's too complex a concept to really sink in, try this: His brain was fucking raped. Repeatedly. For decades. Nothing the Winter Soldier ever did was Bucky's fault. Nothing. Ever. Not remotely, no matter how you fucking slice it. Bucky is not an assassin. I almost said "not a killer", but he was a soldier, and a sharpshooter. He definitely killed when he was himself, but that was in a war, not a series of assassinations.

So far, imo, so good. This is just a rundown of Bucky's pre-show backstory. I don't love what he had to suffer, but I do love how it was treated in the movies. People were afraid of him, but when they knew the whole situation, Steve, Nat, and Sam rallied behind him. Natasha had plenty of reason to want the Winter Soldier dead; he'd tried to kill her multiple times and almost succeeded. Sam had no reason to help Bucky at all; he didn't know him, didn't trust him, and again, TWS had tried to kill him. But he stood by Steve, and when Bucky showed the clear difference between himself and TWS, Sam stood by him, too, and fought alongside him.

And it's very realistic, imo, that Tony didn't give a single fuck that Bucky had no choice. He watched this man murder both of his parents on tape. If TWS had killed my dad and I saw proof of it, I'd try to kill Bucky, too. Grief wins out over logic. Most emotions usually do. And that's a very important point we're going to come back to in a few minutes.

Bucky was really only in like ten minutes at most of IW and Endgame, and for multiple reasons I hate those movies, so I'm just gonna skip them, kay? Kay. On to the main event!

Here's where I get pissed off. Even if I didn't have an unhealthy attachment to this character, or the depth of appreciation for his tragic backstory that I do, the lack of continuity between the movies and the show alone would still piss me off. It always does. Don't even get me started on Joss "Continuity? What continuity?" Whedon and his (iconic, but flawed) shows. Ahem. Back on track...

Let me just get one little thing out of the way real quick: I fucking LOVE The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. I love it. This show amazed me when I first watched it, and I still love it after many more viewings lol. I have only ever watched it all the way through without skipping over as much John Walker shit as possible the one time lol but I love how Sam and Bucky interact, and I fucking adore how Sam's arc was treated. I just wish they'd show the same care and attention to Bucky.

Because what they did to Bucky in this show is a fucking travesty. There was a tiny ray of hope in the pilot, when he called out Dr. Bitchface for being a terrible shrink. I thought that would be the start of him realizing he needed to find someone else and ignore the damaging shit that woman was telling him. But...nope. No such luck.

The show really had a strong start, I'll give it that. We see Bucky having nightmares of his time as TWS and struggling to hide how his traumatic memories are affecting him as he tries to live in the world again. He befriends the father of one of HYDRA's victims, which can't be good for Bucky (and we're shown it's definitely not when he sees the shrine in Yori's home to his late son) but it's sweet, how he's trying to connect and reach out to someone who's hurting and lonely.

They drop the ball a little with the whole... Bucky can hack a fucking car, but can't figure out Tinder thing. Had they just run with the fandom interpretation of the tiger photos line, that it shows that Bucky is bi and left it at that, I'd have been okay with it (and no, that is not because I ship Sam/Bucky. it's because Bucky is and always has been a certified nerd who loves technology and has consistently shown very little issue learning to use new gadgets). The outdated flip phone he handed his terrible court-mandated shrink was a burner; I liked that theory when I read it, especially since it's the only time we see him even holding a phone that old lol. This all could have fit the "Bucky is a sassy bisexual nerd" narrative and it'd be okay. Instead, the director was like "NOOOOOO that line was just to show how old he is and how he can't figure out all this newfangled technology!" Woman, you had him remotely driving someone else's vehicle with a tablet. That is NOT a man who can't figure out a damn smart phone!

But that's just a minor annoyance. What fills me with absolute rage is how everyone - not just the shitty therapist who lashes out at and purposely triggers her traumatized patients, but EVERYONE - Sam, Zemo, people who should fucking know better ALL treat him like he's a psychopath and a ticking time bomb. Like he chose to take the serum and he chose to kill for HYDRA, and he's just seen the error of his ways. *barf*

Bucky in the movies is established to be a victim, through and through. His guilt over what he was forced to do is natural, and that he sees himself as a monster makes sense... but that doesn't mean it's correct. The one and only thing I ever liked about Steve Rogers is at least he got it. He pointed out that none of it was Bucky's fault, he tried to show him that he was worth saving. That's the other reason I refuse to talk about Endgame. This post will get a WHOLE LOT LONGER and a lot fucking angrier if I open that door.

Zemo supposedly knows everything about HYDRA and super soldiers... So why does he treat Bucky like he's a corrupt serial killer? (this, for the record, is why I don't like Zemo) Why does he never point out that Bucky was given the serum against his will, or that his actions, when he had control of them, proved that he was never corrupted? Bucky never wanted to become superhuman. Bucky didn't even want to fucking fight!

Sam, despite constantly resisting the label, is shown very clearly to be Bucky's friend. By episode 3, he cares. He worries about how Bucky is getting lumped in with the other super soldiers in Zemo's speech... But he never really defends him. He says "what about Bucky?" but he doesn't point out that Bucky's a good man, he's fought so hard to help people, he does everything he can to avoid killing... And that fucking speech in episode 5. I was with him on "you gotta stop looking to other people to tell you who you are." I was like "YEAH! Tell him, Sam! Bucky, you're WORTH SAVING, boo! Your value does not hinge on someone else's opinion of you!" And then... Sam dropped the ball.

He not only continued the disturbing pattern of victim-blaming in this show, and in Marvel/Disney properties in general, but he gave really dangerously bad advice! No one in their right mind, mental health professional or no, would EVER tell a traumatized former assassin (whether he was responsible for his actions or not) to go confront his victims' families out of the blue with no warning and no one to mediate and keep things from going to shit. Yori already knew his son had been murdered because he was in the "wrong place, wrong time." How is it being "of service" to tell him you're the one who killed him?! Remember how I said Tony's reaction to learning the full truth about his parents' deaths was valid and would be an important point later? Hi! Welcome to later. THAT is the natural reaction to facing the man who murdered your loved one(s). And even if Yori didn't get angry and lash out, HOW IS IT "HELPING" HIM OR BRINGING HIM "CLOSURE" TO KNOW THAT HIS FRIEND KILLED HIS FUCKING SON?!?!?! This man befriended him, bonded with him, watched him grieve... And now he's learning this is the man who caused all his pain and heartache to begin with? That is so toxic and psycho I just... I can't even... UGH.

And then there's the equally toxic and damaging "deeply traumatized person just needed a stern talking to and a hug to be ALL BETTER AGAIN" ending. I loved seeing Bucky happy and socializing, but it was too soon, and it was unearned. And it sends a fucking awful message to people actually struggling with PTSD, and to their loved ones who don't know how to help them. Heaping more blame on them and then hugging it out is NOT helpful!

This show could have been damn near perfect with just two changes. That's all. Just two. 1) Someone, anyone, bringing up the reasons why Bucky was never a villain in his presence. Someone being in his corner and reminding him, like Steve did, that it wasn't his fault and he's not going to "snap". 2) More time devoted to Bucky's healing. Actual fucking healing, not the shit they tried to pass off as a magic fix-all. He can have his happy barbecue moment, just don't frame it as "everything's great now!" Healing isn't linear, and there will be both good days and bad. Some of the most fragile people in the world have the brightest smiles.

If we get a season 2, which this amazing show absolutely deserves, and they address this stuff, all will be forgiven in my book. Expanding on his story and his journey toward healing will help to reframe that "happily ever after" garbage as something more realistic. But as it stands now... Fuck Marvel.

#fan rant #ragepost #long post #bucky barnes #mcu #captain america #the first avenger #the winter soldier #civil war #tfatws #mcu spoilers #stop victim blaming #victim not villain #never a fucking villain #bucky deserved better #fuck marvel #fuck disney

35 notes · View notes

yellow-r-o-s-e · 3 years

Text

it's all unscripted

Word Count: about 2000

Pairing: romantic Lumity, platonic Blight siblings

Characters: Amity Blight, Edric Blight, Emira Blight, also brief Luz Noceda, Eda Clawthorne, and Owlbert

Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, Post Episode, Takes Place Immediately After S02E08 “Knock Knock Knocking On Hooty’s Door”

Warnings: Crying, Anxiety, Bits of Implied Perfectionism, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse

Author’s Note: I literally cannot stop thinking about Amity in this episode. She went through such an emotional rollercoaster, poor girl.

Summary:

Luz was in love with her.

The revelations still sent fireworks through Amity’s heart.

They were even dating now, which was unimaginably cool.

She tried desperately to hold that warmth close to her, fearing it would slip away as she got further from the Owl House.

This—sneaking back home and pretending nothing had happened—was the easy part. It should be, at least.

Read it on ao3 at the link below, or click the Read More button to read on tumblr

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33079672

Amity still felt dazed and jittery when she arrived in front of Blight Manor. Her feet hit the ground with a soft thud, crunching against pink and red pine needles. The concrete steps in front of her house loomed, looking colder and more threatening than she remembered. As she pulled her hood lower over her eyes, her fingers trembled.

It was fine. She could do this.

A headache had snuck up on her. Her forehead and eyes felt like they were burning, and she had a lump in her throat.

Still, she’d had a fantastic night. Nothing could take that away. Luz was in love with her, and they were dating. The memories still sent fireworks through Amity’s heart. She tried desperately to hold that warmth close to her, fearing it would slip away.

This—sneaking back in and pretending nothing had happened—was the easy part.

She turned to the palisman beside her.

“Thank you....” What was his name again? Edalyn had mentioned it, as she was insisting that he should fly Amity home to make sure she was safe, but then Luz��s hand had lightly brushed against Amity’s shoulder, and Luz’s gorgeous face had been right there, so close, and all of Amity’s thoughts had fizzled out to make room for sparkly giddiness.

“Thanks, little friend,” Amity whispered. The wooden owl seemed satisfied and flapped his wings. Then he took off, headed back to the Owl House, where his family was waiting for him. Luz was probably, hopefully, still thinking about her, and she’d be happy to see her little owl friend return safe, and...

A few pangs of inexplicable jealousy surged through her before she wrestled them away. She grit her teeth. This wasn’t how she was supposed to feel. She had been so happy a few minutes ago, it shouldn’t have evaporated this fast.

She closed her eyes and counted down from ten, bracing herself to move forward through the clearing. When she reached ‘one,’ she held her breath and sprinted until she made it inside. She shut the front door as quietly as possible and leaned against the wall.

Then, with no warning or reason, the electric glee came back full force, making her feel unsteady on her feet. She blushed, biting her cheeks to stop herself from smiling, or worse, squealing with joy. That wouldn’t end well for her. Luz’s words echoed in her mind. As much as her instincts tried to dissect the events of the night, as hard as she searched for any downsides or sources of negativity, she still felt like she was floating.

The good feeling lasted a few seconds before it was replaced by guilt, which didn’t even make sense.

“I need to get back home. My mom is going to kill me,” she had said, out loud, like a complete idiot. She had meant to say it to herself, but then Luz was alert and looking at her seriously and oh… oh no. She’d ruined the moment.

“Not…” Amity swallowed. “Not literally. I’ll be fine.” Needing to do something with her hands, she gave Luz a thumbs up.

“Are you going to be…” Luz’s voice was so soft, Amity felt like her heart was cracking.

“It’s totally fine…” Amity laughed, but it sounded hollow, even to her own ears.

“Because, earlier, she did try to kill me, literally, and I don’t want you to be in danger because of me, and-”

Amity groaned, trying to shift her focus to current issues, like getting up the stairs without being caught.

It would be so much easier if she could just feel all of her emotions at once, Amity thought, making her way down the empty hallway. If it was all at once, she knew she’d be feeling overwhelming happiness twinged with only tiny amounts of negativity. Unfortunately, the sheer amount of emotions were too much for her to handle, so they took turns crashing over her in waves.

She managed to slip upstairs unnoticed, and her hands were shaking when she silently opened her bedroom door, but she was pretty sure it was more from the leftover thrill of the night than fear of being caught by her parents.

She closed the door behind her and saw herself sitting at her desk, scribbling at a homework problem.

“What?” She blinked, confused.

The illusion of her dissolved into mist, and she suddenly realized that her brother was sitting next to her desk, looking directly at her. She froze, unable to speak.

This wasn’t part of the plan.

“We didn’t know where you went, but mom came to check on you, and I figured you didn’t want to be caught,” he said in explanation. “You’re welcome.” He smiled.

That made sense. Amity was pretty sure she should feel grateful for the save. Unfortunately, any gratitude she felt was more than cancelled out by the fury that he was in her room, perceiving her, drawing out the already too long night. Ideally the night should have ended twenty minutes ago, when she had still been with Luz.

“Hey, Em, she’s not dead,” Edric spoke into a shimmering circle, no doubt sending some sort of illusion to carry the message to their sister.

In a matter of seconds, Emira burst through the door, out of breath.

No no no no no, she hadn’t planned for this. She didn’t know what to say to them, hadn’t even figured out how she was feeling. She just wanted it to be tomorrow already, so she could be standing next to Luz at school, and everything could be bright and shiny and wonderful again.

“Oh, hey there Mittens,” Emira said, making finger guns. “Glad to see you here. Not that we were worried or anything-“

“Where were you?” Edric interrupted. “You freaked us out. Em was on the verge of telling mom-“

“No, I wasn’t.” Emira leaned against the wall, faking nonchalance. “I’m not a snitch. It was all under control, and I trust you.”

Edric stuck his tongue out at her.

“I’m sorry,” Emira said, “which of us said they thought they saw her get eaten by a worm demon?”

“Oh.” Amity finally found her voice, and their gazes snapped toward her. She slid down to the floor, trying to escape their gazes. “No, he’s right, that did happen.”

“What?!”

“Are you okay?”

And then the twins were talking over each other, pressing for more details, and Amity couldn’t quite breathe, and-

“You’re overwhelming her!” Emira chided. “Look at her face.”

“Like you weren’t also-“

“Shush.” Emira gently nudged her brother aside, sitting down in front of Amity. “Mittens, baby, can you tell us what happened?”

“I’m not a baby,” Amity grumbled. Why wouldn’t they leave? She just wanted to be alone, for Titan’s sake.

Emira rolled her eyes, and Edric shoved her gently.

“Mittens, teenager who is very wise,” Edric said. “Can you tell us what happened?”

“Yeah, um…” Amity tried to think back through the night, searching for an understandable place to start. “Well… you see…” she swallowed. “I…”

And then, she broke down sobbing.

Edric reached out a hand toward her, waiting until she nodded to pull her into a tight hug. She buried her face in his shoulder.

“It’s okay,” he said.

“I know! That’s the problem! It’s not…” Amity hiccoughed, frantically rubbing at her face. “It was good. I’m just stupid. I don’t know why-“

She let out another sob. She was pretty sure she was getting snot all over Edric’s shirt. Good. That’s what he got for annoying her when she wanted to be left alone.

She made several attempts at speech that all came out garbled.

“Take your time,” Emira said.

“Luz-” Amity sniffled again. “Luz thinks I’m cool.”

Edric laughed at that. Amity tried to glare at him but still couldn’t stop crying.

“She’s so cute.” Amity sniffled, out of breath. “I’m gonna throw up.”

“That,” Edric cleared his throat, trying not to laugh again. “That sounds very difficult. How will you ever survive?”

“Shut up,” Amity grumbled, pushing him away from her. She stood up and flopped face-first onto her bed.

“We’re…” she had meant to get it over with, to say “we’re dating” and let the twins react over enthusiastically, but anxiety overtook her and her throat dried up.

"I'm sorry," Emira said, not sounding sorry, "but what does that have to do with being eaten by a worm demon?"

"Luz's dumb bird-worm thing kidnapped me," Amity said with a small laugh, grateful for the subject change. Then, she felt her face go bright red. She couldn't very well tell her siblings about the Tunnel of Love, or she'd be teased for the rest of her life.

"Okay..." Emira sat down next to her, and she fought not to hiss at the intrusion of her personal space. Emira must have sensed her discomfort, though, because she stood back up immediately. "And then?"

"Things... happened. And then Luz asked me hnnmnnmnm," she buried her face in her pillow.

"I didn’t quite get that." Emira said. Even without looking up, Amity could hear the smirk in her voice.

"Luz..." Amity took a deep breath. It was fine. She was okay. It wasn't going to become any less special if she said it out loud.

"Luz asked me to go out with her." It was silent for a second, and she savored the words.

"Woo!" Edric held out a hand to high-five her, and she tapped it lightly.

"Congrats!" Emira said. “No wonder you’re such a mess.”

“You did say yes, right?” Edric asked.

“I’m not stupid,” she said, throwing a pillow at him.

“Someone’s avoiding the question…”

“Yes!” she said. “I said yes, okay. Can I go to sleep now?”

“Hmmm,” Emira tapped her finger against her chin, and Amity groaned.

“Fine,” Emira said, “because we love you so much, and we’re so proud of you, we’ll let you sleep. Just this once.”

Emira grabbed her brother by the elbow and dragged him out of the room, shooting Amity one last smile before closing the door. Finally, she was blissfully alone.

Memories swirled through her brain again. Luz’s hand squeezing hers. Luz’s horrified expression when Amity had tried to fake a smile but couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down her face. Luz’s nervous laughter as she told Amity how much she liked her. Luz’s knee bumping against hers as they sat face to face, theoretically trying to decide what being girlfriends meant, but getting too distracted staring at each other to finish the conversation. Luz kissing her cheek and looking at her so sincerely as she told her “fly home safe.”

Amity’s heart thudded in her ribcage. She might combust if her siblings found out about how stupid in love she’d acted tonight, but she was going to explode anyway if she didn’t tell all the details to someone immediately.

Resigned, she sat up, and crept out of her room. Her siblings were still standing in the hallway, whispering excitedly. Edric noticed her first, tapping Emira’s hand to get her to look.

“Mittens?” she asked.

“I’m feeling every emotion,” she admitted, “and I can’t sleep, and I need you to come back actually,” she mumbled, not meeting their eyes.

“Sweet,” Edric said.

It wasn’t even a teasing remark, but Amity still blushed. She was screwed, she knew. Still, with their eyes on her, the hurricane of emotions that was tugging at her felt a little less heavy and a little more manageable. She was lucky to have them as her siblings, not that she’d ever tell them that.

“Aww, is she too in love to sleep?” Emira asked.

“Shut up,” Amity said, blushing even harder.

“Okay, okay, I’m shutting up. It’s your turn to talk,” Emira said. “Tell us everything.”

#lumity #the owl house #toh #toh spoilers #knock knock knocking on hooty's door #fic tag #my fic #amity blight #edric blight #emira blight #blight siblings

17 notes · View notes

kekisu · 3 years

Note

TOP 5 CHARAS AND 5 REASONS WHY YOU LIKE THEM GO GO GO

AHHHH OKAY OKAY. I LITERALLY LIT UP WHEN I SAW THIS IN MY INBOX YOU HAVE NOOOO IDEA THANK YOU SO MUCH ah okay. i hope its ok if i leave it to just one or two of my fav things about them though cause NFHBGDF I DONT WANT THIS TO BE MILES LONG i hope you understand!!!!!

1. LIGHT YAGAMI

now. i dont think anybodys surprised. MFKSKFMFMHNGJN honestly, though i dont care about death note much at all anymore, hes like gum stuck to my shoe and i just cannot get him off no matter what i do. i tell myself that i dont give a fuck about anything in death note until i see him on my dash and i go apeshit. hes completely changed me and how i approach analyzing complex characters. i think hes the first character that ive ever actually cared about in that sense? the sense where i look into every detail about him i mean. its really just so fun...

my absolute favorite thing about him... i really love how funny he is. this isnt to say hes a humorous guy im saying hes funny as in he makes such stupid decisions and its hilarious to see him struggle so hard constantly. the entire ending of death note is fucking insane it sends me into laughing fits every time. theres so many funny moments in death note despite it being considered a psychological horror animanga because of him being a genuine fucking idiot 24/7. hes supposed to be a genius but he truly does lack so much self awareness sometimes.

if you wanna know more of my thoughts in depth, i have an analysis of him here that you can check out :) ID LOVE FEEDBACK ON IT so if you disagree with me or have questions etc feel free to shoot an ask and ill try to answer!!!!!

2. GORO AKECHI

god... hes perfect. he and light are on the same level of favoritism for me, dont let the numbers fool you. hes hands down my absolute favorite in persona 5 and it blows my mind knowing that the majority of the fandom feels the exact opposite or are torn over him ITS ALMOST FRUSTRATING because its mostly due to the amount of misinformation/mischaracterization spread about him!!!! but no he just happens to be the best written character in that piece of shit of a game! MFDKDHNGJJ AND PERSONA FANS CANT COMPREHEND GOOD WRITING

my favorite thing about him.. i love how hes written. and i know this sounds really basic and predictable, but its the truth i just really love his growth as a character, especially in royals third semester when he gets a chance to properly shine and oh my god! did he shine! hes literally so perfect in 3rd sem

theres just something so captivating about an angry teenager who truly thinks of his life as worthless and doesnt bother making bonds with others because of it who suddenly finds himself questioning his choices of self isolation when he finally meets a group of people he can resonate with and feel seen by. a group of people who are willing to reach out and listen to him despite his past mistakes. theres just something so perfect about seeing that same angry teenager want to take his life into his own hands and strive to grow... that same angry teenager who didnt value his own life start to see meaning in things because of bonds...

i love goro so so much he makes me so emotional if it isnt obvious enough NGFHGDGBDFH I THINK ABOUT HIM A LOT. i think about him healing so much.

(btw im working on an analysis for him atm thats similar to lights so! stay tuned for that dropping when its done in like a million years NFHFBGFHDBGHF)

3. AKIRA KURUSU

DAMN 2 PERSONA 5 CHARACTERS IN A ROW

OKAY SO i know Technically akira is supposed to be a blank slate silent protagonist but let me tell you THATS SO FAR FROM WHAT HE ACTUALLY IS. IM NEVER FORGIVING ATLUS FOR TRYING TO SHOVE HIM INTO THE SILENT PROTAG BOX AND NOT LETTING HIM BE HIS OWN CHARACTER! BECAUSE HE HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BE AMAZINGGGGG ugh sorryfor caps im so fuckng mad MKDFKMGMHMGMG

it really does get on my nerves how because of atlus trying to make him a silent protag, the majority of the p5 fandom sees him as that. blank slate. nothing. when in reality he very much has a ton of spunk and id argue that hes his own character entirely if you just look a little deeper past the surface Like... its not even that hard to see personality in him. beneath the mask is literally his theme song, have you Not seen the lyrics to that? HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THE ENTIRE THEME OF THE GAME? this little dude is so traumatized and angry at those who wronged him (aka the justice system! shitty adults!) and people have the nerve to say hes the worst persona protagonist? lmfao

my favorite thing about akira is how he looks like a cat and how cocky and annoying he can be.. he is such a jokester hes the absolute dumbest. i enjoy this silly guy. *holds him under the armpits like a longcat*

4. SHIGEO KAGEYAMA

ahhh mob. he makes me do this -> :)

mp100, of course, changed my fucking life. mp100 is the reason i am the way i am and though all the characters are incredibly relatable and memorable and i cherish them so dearly, i, like most people, cherish mob the absolute most. seriously his strength really is incredible and though hes just a fictional character he is so inspiring and i wish to carry as much gentleness in my heart as he does.

im so so proud of him on his development he started off so.. i wouldnt say he was weak, but i would say that he lacked experience. he lived in his own little bubble not knowing what the world was like and throughout the story he grew to learn so much.. he learned to make such. mature decisions at such a young age. hes so so wise. hes so powerful not only because of his psychic powers but because of his compassion for others. he can befriend even the worst of people...

my favorite thing about him is his determination to become the best version of himself he can be. and also his relationship with ritsu (not me, i mean ritsu kageyama <3) i always gravitate towards siblings in fiction because im an only child and well <3 i dont experience that. so i like projecting onto them GHBFBBHFG they care so much for each other.. sniffle sniffle

5. RYO ASUKA

ok im going to be real even though im into devilman i dont have much of a reason to enjoy him this much. i just think hes hilarious and really cool and his satan form gives me gender envy. i love it when he commits random easily avoidable acts of violence for no reason at all its just because he wants to. and thats just fine. i think he can kill people and get away with it because hes ryo asuka. gay rights

#asks #dn #p5 #mp100 #devilman #long post #THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR THIS ASK

30 notes · View notes

dylanxmin · 3 years

Text

painkiller ∣ 5 ∣ j.hs

breakups are habitual, ordinary maybe even easy for some other people, and maybe it could be easy for you, too, if you haven’t been dumped by your boyfriend after finding out that you were pregnant. no, it wasn’t easy even a bit. and a stranger who wants to be your side doesn’t make this all easy for you, at all.

pairing; jung hoseok x reader

genre; angst, fluff, humor, pregnancy au, strangers to lovers au, single!mom au, slice of life au,,

warnings; little high on angst, swearings, mention of abortion, mention of adoption, mention of miscarriage, unedited(rlly sorry about this)

word count; 5k+

rating; nc17

a/n; heyyy, it’s been a month since i last update this story and i only blame my finals, my sudden lost of muse, and some side effects of my life but there it is, freshly served, angsty episode!! ion know how did this come out but im feeling positive for the next episode! so,,,, hope you all enjoy reading this part, and as always, i do really appreciate a little comment soooo... lol, love y’all ♡

previous ➭ ˚masterlist˚ ➭ next

taglist; @xxluckydreamsxx ,, @parkminhee

∣ send me an ask if you want to be on the tag list ∣

‘‘Yes, can we have a brief explanation about the story of our current project?’’

‘‘Miss Y/N?’’

‘‘Y/N?’’

Light, red and yellow mixes and crushes down when something hard nudges at your shoulder and brings you the reality. Shake of your body startles Namjoon, who was nudging your shoulder to wake you up. Pairs of eyes currently stares at you, wide, curious and surprised, too, as no one expects you to fall asleep in the middle of an important meeting. But, you did anyway. Surprising yourself with such an action, yet you lost control of your sleep schedule way before this meeting, so you weren’t that ashamed as the sleep still lingers around your head.

Blinking, blinking, blinking for a couple of times before your vision loses its blur, and the faces look way better to your own eyes. Shock still fresh on their faces, a weird sound rises by your throat as you try to clean it before talking. Namjoon holds his laugh back, but you can see it in the redness of his cheeks and the veins that struggle under his skin.

‘‘I-’’ you clear your throat, once again as it comes hoarse from sleeping. ‘‘I’m sorry, can you say it again?’’ Mr. Lee stares directly into your eyes, he opens his mouth but closes again. And you know you will try to drown yourself in the sink if the corner of his mouth hasn't curled up.

You sigh, before he asks again, and listens to your explanation. You try to keep it smooth, and once you start to talk about your work, all the sleep leaves your head, enthusiasm fills it place.

You love your work. Falling asleep doesn’t mean the opposite.

‘‘I swear to god if you won’t stop laughing, Kim-’’

‘‘But..- but you told the story of our new game, drool drying on your chin, with such an enthusiastic manner.’’ Namjoon’s giggles cut himself, palm hangs in the air, other on his knee. A manager who is in his thirties enjoys his coworkers suffer, laughs his lungs off. Such a mature man. You sigh, hand curled around the cup full of water for you to go to the bathroom after. Countless times.

Fingertips pinching the tip of your brows, you stand on the kitchen side of your office. Shame still red on your face, you barely able to hold yourself back from either crying or smashing the cup on your friend’s head. Which, you like the last option very much. It’s a shame that you possibly couldn’t do that here. Maybe later, on one of your movie nights.

‘‘I think it was cute, though.’’ the man in his much more formal clothes rather than his usual sweatpants and his shirt enters the kitchen side. Brown hair brushed neatly on the left side, his features look good. ‘‘Don’t pressure yourself anymore. I’m sure they are used to these things.’’

‘‘Thank you for helping my self-reliance to gather itself, but I don’t think it’s that simple, Damien.’’ imitating his smile, even though it’s more faint then he has, you sigh once again. Taking a spot on the table, you let your head fall on it. ‘‘I was literally drooling all over myself. Ugh… such a mess.’’

Another laugh escapes by Namjoon’s lips, but he pats your head also. ‘‘Damien is right. You know Jihoon and Yeona will be cool about this.’’

You scoff. ‘‘Yeah, but I don’t refer to them by their first names as they are the Ceo’s of this company. Like you,’’

‘‘Then you shouldn’t refer to me with my name, too, as I’m your boss.’’ an annoying smirk alive on his mouth, he swipes his body on the table. Gulping down his coffee, his stares never leaves you. Something hot, almost burning coils in your chest. Reminding you red, as you stare at him back. Mouth wrinkled, your breath felt heavy.

It was anger and you didn’t know how to pressure it back where it came from. Even before your pregnancy, you weren’t good with handling your emotions, but now. With so many hormones not knowing what to do, you were even worse. Sudden crying sessions, constant fury always ready to burst out, and the sneaky, dark anxiety getting you at the worst moment, where you were alone and in the dark. It was hard, and too much. Even before being pregnant, and while being pregnant. You weren’t good with them.

‘‘You know what, I decide not to cook for you anymore.’’ heartbreak flashes in Namjoon eyes, you crossed your arms over your chest. ‘‘You can buy your own chicken breast from somewhere and eat that shitty sauce.’’

‘‘Ouch..’’ Damien who is currently watching the cold vibrations coming from you, stays silent after your gaze lands on him. He is scared, and not ready to be the next target of your stinging tongue. Though, it doesn’t last that long.

Once you see the tremble of Namjoon’s lips, and his hug follows his sorry’s, your coldness melts away. Shame creeps back, sits heavy as you lower your head on the table. But before you can dive in your bad scenarios in your head, brutal yet familiar bickering starts when Nara enters the kitchen, after she takes her place on the table. Her nose crinkled with disgust while waiting for Namjoon to end his insults, only to throw another to him. Damien tries to cut them off, but it’s useless as he gives up and rests his back on his chair. Hesitant stares gather on you, only to tear them apart while you pretend like you didn’t notice.

Yet, you don’t want to suffocate yourself with your thoughts, you raise your head, eyes meeting with the brown haired man. Because you don’t and probably can’t break that cold war between your friend and Nara, you find your escape on Damien.

‘‘So, we have to prepare a meeting for you to put a suit on?’’ cocking your brow high, you ask. His surprise fades after a moment of waiting. Maybe because you aren’t the warmest person or because of the effect of your friends that filled your head with the idea of him having some feelings for you, you never attempt to talk with him first. Not that he isn’t a decent man, but more likely, you weren’t into him and did not want to make a wrong move. For him to get the wrong idea.

But maybe you are being stupid for believing your delusinal friends about his feelings, and he just wants to be friendly. Though, it’s good to not risk anything, right?

‘‘Suits just not my type, and also, who is wearing these other than him?’’ Damien points Namjoon, who is in a deep, hurtful conversation with your other coworker. You tear your eyes from him to land on Damien once again, his smiling this time. Wide, eyes imitating it. ‘‘Also, doesn’t it hurt your feet? You weren’t wearing heels for a long time.’’

After he mentions it, your feet start to pulse with pain. Embarrassment clouded all over your other senses, but his words bring them back. And you wrinkle your face in pain. Of course, it hurts. How it won’t hurt while your feet try to set themselves free by growing bigger inside of its cage and the process isn’t an easy one. Though, these whining are the last thing for your coworker to hear so you simply go with a soft smile.

‘‘Yeah, a bit but nothing I can’t handle.’’

‘‘Oh okay then. Good to hear.’’ he leans closer, eyes gleaming like a child in his pre-mischievous stage. ‘‘Just in case, I have a pair of nice sneakers waiting in my closet. All comfy and less deadly.’’

Mirroring the act, you also get close to him. Palm covering the side of your curled mouth, ‘‘I will consider it, but why are you acting like you were selling drugs?’’ whispering the half of your words, you cocked your head aside, watching his face wrinkle due to his growing smile. And seeing him from this side, you realise how good looking he is. Radiant smile adds more point to his charisma as he does, eyes narrow but curls cutely on the ends, and for a second you just stare at his side profile. His spotless skin dips on the cheek as his dimple wants to show off. Thankfully, when he starts to talk the silvery sheet goes away, to your luck.

‘‘Well, we won’t want other heel wearers to come at my desk for my fancy shoes, right?’��

Nodding, you point your finger at him as if he made a good point. ‘‘I see… Of course we wouldn’t want that, of course.’’

After the short break, everyone turned in their work the same as you. And you find yourself so tired after talking about the details of the story of your current game with Heejin. Trying to find reliable reasons and motives is hard for some time, as you continue to work on the specific character’s choices in the game, and why and exactly how they should do is sometimes irksome even when you have someone who tries really hard to help you. Yet, you know you can’t put all the weight on Heejin’s shoulders as the poor woman barely had some sleep because of the pre-cold effect.

When she sneezed for the fourth time in the last five minutes, you had to stop and be sure of her well being. Putting your palm on her clothed arm, you mimicked a smile to look sympathetic rather than annoyed. Even though you were a little bit. Thankfully, she doesn’t have to know that.

‘‘I know I asked this before but are you sure you are okay? Maybe you should take a rest for the rest of the day. Obviously, you need some.’’

She looks hesitant at first, eyes widens at your words but she covers it with a faint smile and nods. ‘‘Oh, I’m okay, I’m okay. You don’t have to worry about me.’’ Heejin bites down her lip before continuing again. ‘‘Did I annoy you? I’m sorry, I just took a pill, so I think that will make me better in a couple of minutes.’’

‘‘No, no…’’ pulling your hands in the air, you shake your head in denial. It did bother you but not much for her to apologize for being sick. ‘‘I just wanted to check on you, I’m not… disturbed. It’s okay.’’

Your half reassurance works barely, as she tries to lower the voice of her sneezes after that. And everytime, a drip adds to your growing guilt. As Heejin is younger than you for three years, and you have been working here longer than her, it puts some stairs between you two and now with that, you fix the ice between you two. The ice that you have been trying to melt from the first day she was here, and now, thanks to your pregnancy hormones, it started to build once again. Not just with Heejin, but everyone around you was walking on eggshells around you as your rage came out of nowhere, so sudden that sometimes it even shocks you. But for a stupid reason - well, it’s not stupid as you are pregnant and that played with your emotions -, you couldn’t control the sudden change of your feelings.

One second being calm and the other being tense did tire you for sure as senses flow through every nerve you have. Breathing exercises merely helped, and that led you to staying away from the people around you. As sometimes words come out rude before you can realise. And nobody deserves that kind of attitude, even the ones you know from your childhood.

For that reason, you turned down Taehyung’s offer to come with you as you know that owing to his nature, he will do something silly to make you angry or stressed even when he does it with all his good intentions. Some days, even when you are in your usual state you can’t stop being bothered by him, and you had no intentions to taste it today. Which, nothing was normal in your current mental state, so that’s for the best.

Driving past the now familiar streets, you learned a new thing: Driving with a jean without opening its button can be hard, as you have to undo the button while your stomach growls in need. While your stomach become visible, looking like you ate too much for your stomach to handle, sudden thirst for stupid cravings increased day by day. Sadly, it affected your friends as much as you.

In the middle of night, you woke Yoongi up for him to get you apples, pickles for Taehyung and last but not least, ice cream for Namjoon. As your cravings decide to choose the oddest times, three of them find the solution to fill your fridge until there is no space left. Well, after you sat on your kitchen floor and cried they had to eat some of them with you, as they basically called you fat by doing that, and paid for it. For them, they just wanted to make sure you get what you want but at this point, what they thought barely mattered.

‘‘Okay, that was tiring.’’ you whispered through your exhale, while parking the car. For the records, parking turned into a hell show for you as going further and back, further and back, further, further and back has your nerves strain like a string. Though, you never liked it anyway. You were ready to leave your car, but the ringtone of your phone cut the act.

‘‘Hey, mom.’’

‘‘Nope. Your voice sounds the same, rather than I thought so.’’ sighing, you brushed your face by your palm. Words like a needle on the skin, your mother always knew how to use them. ‘‘Well don’t ‘ahhh’ at me. As we barely speak, I obviously expect to forget your voice, tell me if I’m wrong.’’

Nodding as if she is able to see you through the phone, you put your head on the wheel. She was annoyed as it was very clear by her high and thin tone.

‘‘Yes, Ma’am.’’ your reply earned another high pitched warning from her so you had to calm her between your giggles. ‘‘Okay, okay… You’re right, Mama. I should call you more but you know work and everything keeps me busy. But I will try my best, promise.’’

‘‘Apology accepted. But even though I know you prefer to talk about work, and the video thing you adore talking about, I’m most likely interested in my baby’s baby. So, how’s the pregnancy going?’’

This is the exact reason why you didn’t call her more than you did. As she is very interested in your life and interior with it, of course pregnancy will be the same. And you couldn’t ignore the things you can as she will talk about them, will want to know about them and give some advice from her past experiences. Not that you will need any of them, but of course as you postponed everything, you did the same thing to this topic, too, and left your mother in the dark. You will run as far as you can.

‘‘They called games, not video thing but it’s your choice.’’ while thinking of it itched your tongue, you swallowed all the tensing thoughts down, and ready yourself to talk. ‘‘And the… pregnancy is going good if we don’t count the constant eating, peeing, crying, being tired twenty-four-seven, not fitting in my favorite clothes and all the pain it put me through.’’

She laughs as if you just told the funniest joke she heard. Cocking your brows, you run through what you said to make her laugh this much to fail.

‘‘Ohhh, my baby. Stop talking about this as the things are all bad. You have a baby in your belly, your baby. They will become your everything, and mostly good things because you will love them more than anything you can. Believe me, I could die in return for your laugh. A bubbly, vivid laugh. Ahh… remembering it made me soft, right now.’’

‘‘Trying to be unbiased about gender, I see?’’

‘‘Well, I don’t want to affect the baby.’’

Though you want so bad to ask how that could actually affect the baby, you stay silent. All the baby talk is already pulling you down, it is better if you can stay out of the gender topic as much as you can. Not that it mattered, you thought.

‘‘What do you mean? Why it wouldn’t matter darling?’’

Huh?

Clearly, you weren’t thinking, but murmuring under your breath as your mom heard it. When you hit your head on the wheel, the horn startles you both. Fixing your posture, you answered your mother’s hurried question.

‘‘It was horn, I’m in the car. Yes, yes I’m okay, don’t worry. I’m at the hospital- No, no- Mom, for the appointment. Yes… yes, for the baby. I will talk to you later, okay? I will call, I promise- Yes, I promise. Okay, love you, too.’’

You sigh once again. A loud one.

You do hate lying to the woman who would do anything you want, but you know she is not ready to lose her grandchild, yet. You are not ready for the speech you will receive, also. Not that it will be harsh or critical, you just are not ready to accept the whole thing. Yes, you still had problems with the whole pregnancy thing even though you made your mind with adoption. You still had thirty weeks to go, and that won’t go fast. Not in a normal time, or in the pregnancy.

Head full of blurring thoughts, you missed the man who shakes his hand from afar. The black haired man’s smile faded as you passed by his side without sparing a glance. Too busy with thinking how to calm your mother after you give her the news. The news that she won’t have a grandchild anytime soon. Fuck… that’s gonna be hard.

Well, maybe not hard as much as the door you decide to welcome it with your face rather than opening. A loud thud, and muffled curse under your breath, instinctively you checked your nose if there is more than the pain you feel, as there is no blood you calm down, shoulders drop their usual place. Apparently, you were conscious enough to lead yourself to the floor where your doctor’s office, past the stairs, and find his door but when it comes to open the door you fail. Tears sit on your eyelids at once as you close them due to the pain that crushes your sight. Trying to massage your nose bridge barely helps but giving it a try won’t hurt, you think.

‘‘Oh my, are you okay?’’ from your closed and blurred eyesight, you can’t choose who is the one talking but his voice lets you know that he is your doctor, Seokjin. ‘‘I heard a loud thug but couldn’t understand it was a human until you groaned. Are you okay, you bumped your nose? Let me get a look at that.’’

Not forgetting to thank him while he guides you inside his office, now you are able to open your eyes and set the tears free as they go down. Seokjin sits you on the white sheeted chair, handles your head to go right and left as he scans your face and nose behind creased eyes. He looks really concerned, more than you, and somehow it puts you on a stage where you feel like you have to make him sure that you were okay and nothing was wrong. It still feels weird when someone gets concerned over you more than yourself, as who would care for someone more than one’s self so it’s still vague.

‘‘I-I’m actually okay. I didn’t hit that hard as it sounds, it doesn’t even bleed so…’’ wry smile is all you offer him as your voice trails down when his eyes meet with yours, a bit keen rather than you thought they will.

Seokjin sighs with a line between his brows but he lets go, and when he puts a decent distance between you and himself, professionalism settles in his features as he adjusts his tie.

‘‘It does look okay, but make sure you put some ice when you can as it could leave a bruise behind.’’ he smiles, both sweet and very technically. As he practiced it for every client he had and now performing it without any difficulties. It looks natural. ‘‘So, tell me how are you feeling? You should still have the early pregnancy symptoms such as morning sickness, sleep issues, and more likely they will hang around for a few more weeks. But it’s more important if you have a symptom that comes unnatural or unbearably painful for you?’’

After taking two deep breaths, you feel ready to give him a reply. Nose still throbs by the hit but it’s faint now.

‘‘Uhm…- yeah, other than the ‘expected’ symptoms, I don’t feel like something is wrong, or not supposed to happen. No more painful urination, though I still need it frequently.’’ you grimace lightly as you share, shifting a bit. ‘‘But yeah, I’m okay.’’ you try to wipe the fresh embarrassment with the non glowing smile you had in your storage. Probably he should but you still don’t know if he needs to know that you choose adoption. As he is your doctor, and the one who is taking care of you and the baby, you know that he must know about it, but unpleasant eerie stops you from doing what you should.

Old habits die hard, that’s for sure.

‘‘Excellent. It’s good to hear that everything is going on it’s way, and today, as now you are in the tenth week of your pregnancy, I’m recommending you a genetic test in case there is any birth defect.’’

‘‘What is that?’’ even though Seokjin was done with talking, you utter so fast that it feels like you interrupted him, as you shut your mouth with wrinkled brows. It was just getting tiring day by day with all of these tests, things to do and not to do, being extra careful because you have another living creature in you to take care, more than yourself. No more selfish, damaging, stupid choices can be done as your body no longer belonged to you. At least not only to you and this was really, really tiresome.

As he was expecting this, Seokjin comes up with some papers as you can understand them. ‘‘As I said before, it’s a test to acknowledge any kind of defect in the baby. These tests take two forms: screening tests and diagnostic tests. And a screening test tells you the likelihood that your baby could have a birth defect; a diagnostic test tells you with more than ninety nine percent certainty whether the baby has the disorder.’’ He explains more as you take the papers from him, scanning the words but they are almost identical as Seokjin continues with his further explanation. The blank eerie gets heavier and heavier the further he talks, and when he comes to the risks, it feels like your pulse palpitates on your throat. Tearing your eyes from the papers that sit on your lap, you stare at the man who is still talking.

‘‘There is small risk of miscarriage, that’s why you need to carefully consider tha advantages and the disadvantages of these test before you make any decision, even it’s small.’’

A slap to the face, a weight falls on your stomach after Seokjin is done with his statement. Mouth hangs open, you stay still, silent as the Doctor waits patiently, now he is behind his desk, sitting his hands intertwined. As if he knows the new information would put a heavy dullness in you as he searches your every movement, yet you gave him hardly any.

‘‘Do I… have to?’’

The idea of taking these tests would be tiring is there but the cause of your nausea is not just that. More likely, it’s the idea of losing something. Even though that something doesn’t belong to you because you never wanted it, and nothing has changed since then. Whether it's the guilt of knowing everything caused because of your recklessness, or it’s because you feel obligated to give the baby a good life due to your current maternal instincts - you hardly say you had one -, whether it’s beside you or far away from you, you feel the suffocating necessity. Even if the risk has one percent chance, you can’t take it. Maybe it’s odd to push your one percent chance to become free with the back of a hand, but that would be running away, and both of you already had one runner in your lives, and the baby wouldn’t need another.

‘‘I know it sounds scary but you can take your time, you don’t have to do it now. You can search it a bit more about the cons and pros but I never had any problems with my former clients if you need any consolation. And you can always ask for me more.’’

Chewing your bottom lip, you still look at him in the eye like you need to give him an answer. You do trust your doctor but that doesn’t mean that you purposely rejected the idea of getting abortion while you deal with an unwanted pregnancy only to come across with a risk of miscarriage. Of course it is always there whether you do the test or not, but that's nearly a consolation.

Nodding, you put all the papers in your bag before leaving the doctor’s office. Biding your goodbyes after ending with this week control.

You come to the hospital with a dazed head, and you were going to leave it even more wrecked. But you just needed some air, somewhere to ease the wave of emotions that is going through your head. To catch your breath, you adjust your route to the cafeteria in the outdoors. Maybe, that could help you somehow.

Not temporarily, but taking fresh air in your lungs somehow helped you. The phone call you had with Taehyung while you were at the verge of tears, too, and you sit in the cafeteria during all of these. Mimicking the doctor's words to your friend and Taehyung had listened to you, hang on your every word as much as he can on the other side of the line. Tried to console you, said that things will be alright and nothing bad will happen as if he was as sure as his name. And momentarily, you believed him. Both because you needed it, and he was being a good friend and you didn’t want him to feel useless.

For good or ill, now, your heart is resting in ease.

Well at least it was until you see a glimpse of dark uniform in the corner of the wall, and then a familiar face you haven’t seen in a while. A smile that softly shaped as heart, causing your heart to palpitate fast but in a much different way than the news you learned today, or the idea of your mother's future disappointment. It’s more thrilling and in a way even scarier than the other two options. As the opposite of how familiar the face is, the reason for your heart going this insane was abrupt. Even odd when you think the very less time you spent with the owner of the familiar face, yet it was there, forcing you to gulp down, consume every emotion he forced you to feel.

Contrary to what you expect - and you didn’t know why you were expecting him to be happy after seeing you - his face falls, the shape of heart shutters around his mouth. And to your shock, it put needles somewhere near to your chest.

The last time you saw him, the atmosphere was intense as you shared things that normally you wouldn’t do with a partially stranger but with him even though feelings were gloomy, you weren’t uneasy. And to you, when he was consoling you, internalizing what you were telling him, he wasn’t disturbed. At least he didn't look like that. But, the more you size him up, the more you get sure of his strange disturbance. And it did burn. Smoke choked you down, and put tears on your eyes. Fucking pregnancy hormones…

Not aware of your action, you caught your hand in the air, in the middle of a shake as Hoseok greeted you by the tiny bow of his head. And expecting more cutted harsly, as a knife in the gut.

Whether it’s because of your blind act, or whether he feels obligated, Hoseok comes closer to the table you were sitting, leaving the person behind he was talking to before he saw you. With every step, you breathe another air to gather your confidence a bit high, but it’s useless as your hands start to tremble under the table, fortunately away from his sight.

‘‘H-hi,’’ no matter how much Hoseok tries to sound friendly, it’s not, and you can hear in his voice as it comes out broken. His eyes are still deep and candid but not glowing the way it fascinated you when you first saw him. Still, you greeted him with a tight smile, wave of your hand small.

‘‘Take a seat-’’ pointing the available chair, you cut yourself to say something else. To correct your words. ‘‘I mean if you want… of course,’’

To your surprise, he holds the chair to adjust for him to sit on. But everything feels so forced and awkward that you can’t stop wondering if you said something to him and cause him to feel uncomfortable around you. Your brain works so hard to scan the memories of that day, but you fail to find something so disturbing to make Hoseok shift in his seat, a line between his brows and a noticeably insincere smile.

It takes minutes for someone to talk first and scare the clouds away only for a moment.

‘‘Are you waiting for your appointment or has it already finished?’’

‘‘Ah, yeah, it’s done. I just needed to take a moment and fresh air because…’’ your voice eventually trailed off as you realised he just asked to look friendly and probably doesn’t want to hear your whelming emotions anymore. ‘‘of stuffs, you know.’’

Hoseok nods, his mouth thin as a line, and even though it shouldn’t, it breaks your heart. Yes, this man owes you nothing, and of course he doesn’t have to sit there and listen to how sorry and depressed you feel over the things doctor Seokjin have told you, but it still hurts to see him this… joyless. The curiosity burns deep and wild as you desperately want to know what the hell you did to make him this anxious, but your mind barely helps as you wander in the empty field.

‘‘I should probably get going-’’

‘‘It’s been a while-’’

Words clashing and drowning one another, silence takes over and Hoseok abruptly stops above his chair as he was about to leave before you parted him. And now he looks at you with wide eyes, fear in his chest growing big as your bottom lip trembles for only a second but he catches it.

He sits back on his seat with hands on the air. ‘‘Oh, yeah, it’s been a while since we last saw each other.’’ he says but you know it’s out of pity, and you would rather die than crumbling under his gaze. So you shake your head with a false smile, though hammers work in your chest.

‘‘Ah, don’t mind me. Go ahead, you are probably busy and have so much to do. So, you can leave, seriously.’’

‘‘No-, no, no, Y/N. I’m sorry, I want to stay and talk to you, really. I really am sorry for acting rude.’’

Maybe because the look on his face, or the warm tone of his voice, you decide not to pressure him to leave after you ask if he really wants it for a second time. But he nods and smiles, and this time it reaches his eyes, a hot pink blossoms in you.

Though, before either of you can say anything, a touch at your back stops you. You hear the breathy voice before you turn your head. ‘‘Ahh, finally I found... you. Care to explain why you are-...not picking your phone?’’

And when you turn over, you see a panthing Yoongi. His hand on his knee and looks at you with concerned gaze. Then, they leave you only to land on the man on the other side of the table, and Yoongi’s eyes go wide.

He extends his hand in a non-moving shake to the air. ‘‘Oh, hi. Sorry to butt in.’’ he stretches his hand towards him, the ghost of a smile appears on his lips. ‘‘It’s Yoongi,’’

Voice deep, and it takes long to draw out when the man in dark uniform mirrors the act. ‘‘Hoseok.’’

#heartsforbts #bangtanhq #bangtanarmynet #houseofddaeng #btsgoldnet #btswritingcafe #hyunglinenetwork #hoseok x reader #hoseok fanfic #hoseok fluff #hoseok angst #jung hoseok #painkiller #dylanxmin

32 notes · View notes

sheresh0y · 3 years

Text

Gai Bal Manda

A/N: I originally wanted to do a funny fluff piece about how Ezra and Mando found their kids. It eventually took on a life of it's own and has straight up haunted me for weeks. I tried it with every combination of characters and wasn't satisfied until I settled on this. I'm not entirely happy with how this came out, but this piece feels finished where the other felt lacking. So let me know if you like it, or if you have any Chaotic Space Dad thoughts! My inbox is always open! Translations at the end.

Warnings: Adoption talks, found family musings, what is a family? thoughts, light angst, ends happy though!

Word Count: 1912

The Crest was a tight fit for four people, even if they had outfitted some of the closets and nooks for sleeping spaces and some semblance of privacy. The only place one could truly be alone was the fresher and with so many people it wasn’t like you could be in there for long. That’s why Din made sure that the cockpit stayed exactly the way it was. Maybe it was silly, or territorial even, but it helped that people could only be in his sanctuary when they needed to be.

Needless to say, the cockpit was a tight squeeze for four people just like four people was a tight squeeze for the Crest. Maybe that’s why Din was always surprised when Cee willingly came up. She had her own space, the poor excuse of a closet the Crest had made an even poorer excuse of a room, but it was her own space nonetheless. Ezra and Din had both unanimously decided between the of the two of them the kids should have something even if it wasn’t great or normal by any stretch of the means.

The first time Cee joined him topside he thought it would be a one-off. Ezra was probably being long winded and she just needed to escape was he first thought. His usual thought when Ezra rambled. Then she just kept doing it, just sitting there with her notebook and music player, not saying anything. By the third day Din figured she wanted something. Some question she was going to ask or excuse he was supposed to back up when Ezra asked where she was.

Din decided to break the silence on day four, turning his head slightly over his shoulder so he could keep an eye on the controls and Cee, “What are you trying to get out of?”

“Did Ezra say something?” Cee groused, clearly annoyed. “Just because he has one arm doesn’t mean I have to pick up his slack. It was his own fault he lost it.”

“He didn’t say anything to me, no. Should he?” Din was practiced at dancing around topics to get answers to the questions he didn’t want to outright ask, but this felt different. Tense, almost.

“No,” Came the immediate, too quick reply over his shoulder. Din hummed at her answer and turned fully to the controls, deciding that pulling the question from Cee would take longer than waiting her out. Silence spread over the cockpit, not an uncomfortable one on Din’s part. Cee, however, couldn’t stand it. He knew what question she was going to ask. He had to.

Ezra said it was rude to ask and she knew it was, she would be annoyed if anyone badgered her with the question she wanted to ask Mando. As they sat in silence Cee got even more antsy, Keeva had she insulted him? She didn’t mean to, the kid was cute, a little disproportionate between the huge ears and eyes with the tiny body, but sweet.

She just had so many questions, like, was he supposed to get as big as Mando? Was Mando the anomaly? Were they even related? Mando had five fingers while the kid had three so did they sprout new fingers? It didn’t matter if they weren’t, her and Ezra weren’t and no one said anything to them so she should just leave it alone... but she just had to know.

The quiet was getting stifling and Cee knew it was just going to get more weird if she didn’t just spit out the question and let Mando leave her and Ezra on some backwater planet. “He’s yours, right? The kid. So... Why do you have five fingers and he has three?” Keeva, it sounded more stupid than she imagined. Maybe Ezra was right, that she was just going crazy in the long stretches of space.

The staticky huff of what sounded like laughter snapped Cee out of her spiral, “He’s my foundling, I’m quested to return him to his kind. So while he’s mine currently, he isn’t my son. Not biologically.” Maker, that was the question she was so worked up about? Of all the things he was thinking about his foundling wasn’t what he expected.

The air shifted from awkward to something else, something Din didn’t quite have a name for, the tension leaving the room suddenly like a vacuum into space. Cold and distant and sudden. “What happens if he doesn’t have anyone? No family or friends left?” Cee let the question hang in the air, trying to sound more confident then she felt.

She wasn’t lonely, she had Ezra. Ezra wouldn’t ever leave her behind, he didn’t when they were on the Green, or any of the other hundred times it would’ve been easier to. He never complained or made her feel guilty about anything. He never acted like taking on another mouth to feed was an issue for him and he often talked about how their partnership was “a balm for his lonesome soul”.

Besides that, if Ezra ever did want to leave, he could. She had been taking care of herself long before he came around and she could do it again. She didn’t need him to hold her hand through life. She didn’t need anyone.

Watching the emotions play out on Cee’s face made Din realize that he stepped into a minefield he didn’t know existed. Ezra wasn’t Cee’s parent like he originally assumed, she was his foundling and she knew she didn’t have anyone to go home to. Whether or not Ezra knew was something else entirely, he wasn’t entirely clear on how they found each other.

Turning the pilot chair to face Cee directly Din tried his best to explain, “It’s a little complicated on the outside looking in. I’m his guardian, tasked with reuniting him with his own kind, or, raise him until he can swear the creed I have. If he has no one, no family to raise him and I have exhausted all avenues of approach in finding them, then and only then can I adopt him as my own. There is no backing out of it, or not wanting your foundling. It’s a sacred duty to be a buir - a parent.”

While he wasn’t sure if that was what Cee wanted to hear, it felt good to say it out loud. That someday, if he’s lucky enough, he might get to be the womprat’s dad. He would never admit it, not to any other soul living or dead, that he was thinking of adopting his foundling. He couldn’t, for many reasons. One being that whole quested business, he couldn’t stop looking for the kid’s kind. If he did then he would be going against The Creed, he would be dar’manda. The second was that the kid’s powers were growing more and more. He couldn’t help the kid with training and finessing his powers, the kid needed the Jedi more than Din needed the kid.

Silence enveloped the ship as Mando paused in his explanation. Cee was looking anywhere but Mando, feeling like she had been stripped raw, like he had seen right through her question and put her insecurities on display. Mando knew she wasn’t asking about the kid. “You can adopt anyone, even adults. At least in Mandalorian culture. It’s called gai bal manda. You have to say, ‘I know your name as my own’ and then their name.”

Din turned the pilot seat back to the controls and left their conversation at that, she could do whatever she wanted with that information. Twisting the information over in her mind Cee wondered if Ezra thought it was dumb, they were already partners why was there a need to make a fuss over it. And on the other hand, could she? Family was obviously sacred for Mando and his people, was this vow something she could do or would it be sacrilege for her to try and piece together a family? Was she replacing her family? No. She wasn’t, right? Her mom was her mom just like her dad was her dad and Ezra was her... Ezra.

There wasn’t a name for what Ezra was to her, he annoyed her like a sibling, offered advice like a parent, supported her like a friend. Sitting in the Crest it hit Cee like a speeder, that family was supposed to be people in your corner. People you trust. Ezra was family and had been for a while now.

Leaving Mando in the cockpit to eat supper, Cee joined The Child and Ezra in the belly of the Crest. “You doing okay, Birdie? Got your pondering face on,” Ezra prodded. He knew that she had been hanging around Mando the past few days, he didn’t have a problem with it but he was curious about what they had been talking about for her to look so solemn. Cee spun the spoon around in the bowl, not entirely sure how to bring up what she was thinking about without Ezra laughing at her so she elected to stay silent.

Studying her for a minute longer Ezra decided to take it upon himself to lift her spirits or annoy it out of her. Lucky for him, the execution was the same: talking to her. Ezra knew he could be long winded when he wanted to be so he launched into his dealings for the day. Taking inventory, talking to the kid, cleaning the thrower, making dinner since it was his turn tonight, and how ‘thank you’s would be very much obliged. He was about to get into an overly detailed explanation of how ration packs were dehydrated when Cee finally cut him off.

“What does family mean to you, Ezra?”

The wind felt like it was knocked from his chest right then. Like someone had gotten a lucky punch into his solar plexus. “Well... I guess... Family to me would mean you, Birdie. Someone who’s got your back even when you don’t deserve it. Or at least, feel like you don’t deserve it. If I may ask, what brought this on?”

Cee shrugged trying to look nonchalant about the whole thing as she admitted to asking Mando about The Child. Ezra huffed in good natured annoyance rolling his eyes, “I told you it was rude to ask. Never one to listen, but that’s okay, I’m not either. Since you already did the prying, it’s only fair you tell me what new information you gleaned about our crewmates.”

Cee simplified what Mando told her, about the foundling and adoption process. Ezra hummed as wiped The Child’s face with the corner of a rag, not quite knowing where to go from there. Did she want Mando to adopt her? Did she want a normal family? Ezra wasn’t sure what to say as he sifted through those thoughts. If she wanted their partnership to end he would take her to any planet, any system she desired. He hoped she knew that.

“It’s really simple, actually, and anyone can be adopted. According to Mando even adults can be.” Ezra wasn’t sure if she was being vague on purpose or if he was being set up to be pranked but he leaned into whatever plan she had willingly. “What, pray tell, does this adult adoption look like Birdie?” He was finally able to catch her eye across the crate that was their designated table.

“I know your name as my own, Ezra.”

Translations:

Buir: Father, mother, parent

Dar'manda: a state of not being Mandalorian - not an outsider, but one who has lost his heritage, and so his identity and his soul - regarded with absolute dread by most traditional-minded Mando'ade.

Gai Bal Manda: Literally meaning "name and soul" it is the Mandalorian adoption vow. In Mando'a it is "ni kyr'tayl gai sa'ad" and based on the translation and source can either mean, "I know your name as my own" or "I know your name as my child". I had Din just give Cee the English translation since she or Ezra wouldn't know Mando'a, but she needed something since she was feeling pretty adrift in this piece.

#chaotic space dads #din djarin #the mandalorian #ezra prospect #ezra (prospect)#cee prospect #cee (prospect)#grogu djarin #the child #the mandalorian fanfiction #prospect 2018 fanfiction #pedro character fic #din djarin fanfiction #ezra prospect fanfiction

13 notes · View notes

darkpoisonouslove · 4 years

Text

Sleeping Beauty Missed Opportunities

I watched Disney’s Sleeping Beauty about ten days ago and I actually loved it a lot. The aesthetic is lovely and the music is absolutely ethereal, there was some awesome comedy and Maleficent remains such a cool villain even if she is not particularly competent at it, Phillip is probably the best Disney prince ever and I got all nostalgic so it was a great experience. I couldn’t help but notice a couple of things that had so much potential had they been explored and now I am going to write them out because they will simply not leave me alone.

- The fact that Flora’s gift to Aurora was beauty annoyed me a lot. So you’re telling me that her beauty is not only not natural, but it was also pretty much a gift wasted since it literally never played any role in anything. Aurora grew up in isolation so she could have looked as Godzilla for all anyone cared and it wouldn’t have made a difference. And to top it all, her beauty also does not play a role in Phillip falling in love with her because he falls in love with the beauty of her voice at first. It would have been much better if she was naturally pretty (as opposed to supernaturally so aka magically induced) and Flora had given her another gift. I suppose that since she is named Flora, she has something to do with flowers which is why her gift to Aurora was beauty. After all, flowers are there to look pretty and not much else. But I think it would have been a better idea if her gift to Aurora had been that of a nurturing touch that makes it so that Aurora nearly gives life to plants by just touching them. Animals are trickier but she can still heal and nurse them back to health with a little more effort. That would have been in contrast with Maleficent’s whole “kingdom” (aka the Forbidden Mountain) decaying and being in ruins and would have gone better with Fauna’s gift of the soul.

- In the scene where Maleficent appears to the Christening, it is Merryweather that tells her she was not wanted. Granted, the king and queen did not object to that but it was obvious they had already pissed off Maleficent so they probably didn’t want to get on the wrong side of the fairies whose benevolence they still had. When you think about it, though, it was Merryweather who escalated the situation into a disaster that could not be saved so my thought was that it would have been interesting to have learned a little bit more about the fairy ways and the conflict between the Three Good Fairies and Maleficent. Obviously, Maleficent has high social status since even the queen called her “Your Excellence” so the decision to not invite her to the Christening was weird and ill-advised. With a little more background info on the fairy business we could have witnessed the dilemma of the royal family that is caught in the middle of a feud they have nothing to do with aka having to choose which side to invite and risking to draw the wrath of the other upon themselves. It could have been interesting to see what would have happened if they had invited Maleficent instead of the Good Fairies in fear of what she could do if they didn’t only to have the Good Fairies paying them back for the disrespect but that would have changed the plot too much so it is probably best to explore as an AU.

- The consequences of King Stefan’s decision to burn all spinning wheels were never ever shown and that was such a great waste. The fact that the target audience is kids makes it a little bit more understandable, of course, but this could have made for a great political subplot. The decision was impulsive and was made more from the heart of the father rather than the head of the king in his desperation to protect the child he and his wife have wanted for so long. However, that will surely have economical and even political impact on the kingdom. Instead of celebrating the birth of the royal heir, they had to pay the price for protecting her. It is the fourteenth century so without spinning wheels in the whole kingdom, they could no longer turn wool into threads. Any industry including fabric would have suffered from that choice and that would have led to poverty. Now that would have been a perfect way to explore the alliance between Aurora and Phillip’s kingdoms. Maybe they signed a contract for Phillip’s kingdom to trade finished products for the resources that they need to make them coming from Aurora’s kingdom. It would have been a good way to include the aspect of royalty, politics and economics more since they already introduced it through the arranged marriage. And it would be interesting to see Aurora’s reaction once she was back at the palace to how much her subjects and the whole kingdom (even Phillip’s kingdom) had sacrificed for her well-being. Any decisions she could have made on the matter as the future ruler could have shown her introduction into her role of princess and future queen as well as her compassion and good heart.

- The king and queen’s pain over their lost daughter was never explored. They waited for years for the happiness to have a baby and when their only dream finally comes true, they are forced to give up the baby if they want to keep her alive. They can not see her for the first sixteen years of her life and by the time she comes back to the palace she is all grown up. She is not their baby daughter but a beautiful stranger that they don’t know anything about. Whatever happiness and relief there was over her being well and alive was surely overshadowed by the fact that Maleficent still succeeded in tearing their family apart. Their daughter is not dead but they lost her and she never had them. It is a horrible tragedy that the movie never even bothered to address for a second past that scene of them sending Aurora away with the Three Good Fairies. Considering all the negative repercussions the king’s decision to burn all spinning wheels must have had on the kingdom, it was a shame that they never truly showed the emotional consequences of the choice to give Aurora to the fairies to raise for the royal family. It could have added much emotional depth to the story and characters.

- In relation to that, there was a big missed opportunity with Philip also. Since his mother wasn’t there neither at the Christening, nor at the celebration of Aurora’s sixteenth birthday, a sound assumption would be that she was dead. The loss of her that Phillip and his father were going through and the loss Aurora’s parents were experiencing after they gave her away could have become a great bonding point for the two families. It has been shown that Phillip’s dad is a great friend of King Stefan so it would be safe to assume that the two met quite a lot. Phillip could have easily been brought along on those visits and since they lost their own daughter, Aurora’s parents would have probably become very fond of the boy and loved him as their own. He was to be their son-in-law one day and through him they could give their daughter all their love, by caring for him and helping raise him in any way they could. And Phillip could have come to think of them as family as well and respect them like his own parents which would have made it harder for him to stand up to the arranged marriage because he also loved them and didn’t want to hurt their feelings after all the love they’d given him. And later on, once Aurora was back home, he could have helped her get to know her parents. It would have been bittersweet that he knew them better than she did but it would have shown both his support of Aurora and the trust that binds the two families in one as well as helped both Aurora and her parents get over the pain and trauma they’ve experienced.

- This is more of a detail that would have just made things a little cooler if it’d been included but what if the gift of soul Fauna gave Aurora was the reason she was seeing Phillip in her dreams? It connected her to the living beings like the forest animals and it could have very well been the one thing helping her connect with the one she is destined to be with. It could have been a cool side thing. And maybe it also affected Phillip in some way and that was why he could communicate so effortlessly with his horse. Or they could have made it so that Phillip had also been blessed by fairies as a child and that was why he was communicating the same way with his horse that Aurora was with the forest animals and it helped them establish their dream bond.

- And one last possibility that I thought of would have been if Aurora had been raised according to fairy understanding and perception of the world. The Three Good Fairies themselves said that they knew nothing about raising a human child and Aurora neither knew they were fairies, nor had contact with any other humans in order to figure out that something wasn’t quite right with the way they were raising her and the things they were teaching her. So she grew up experienced in fairy traditions and the fairy way of looking on the world. Once she goes to the palace, she finally learns that what she’s been taught is not the human way of doing things so on top of having to patch up her family and learn the royal ways, she also has to learn the human ways. And since she’s been raised with fairy outlook on the world, she cannot believe her parents’ decision to not invite Maleficent to her Christening. It is not that she blames them but to her it seems incredibly stupid and disrespectful and she understands why Maleficent went for retribution. Since Aurora is so well versed in the fairy ways, she becomes something of an ambassador for the kingdom in its dealings with fairies (and possibly other magical creatures) to avoid repetition of history and offend another powerful being. The kingdom becomes prosperous thanks to its extraordinary princess who has managed to earn the benevolence and blessings of various fairies. There are those who do not like her since they think a human should have never been allowed the privilege to know their traditions so well but, in general, she is in the favor of most powerful beings that protect her kingdom and make it a force to be reckoned with.

Those are the things that I would have loved to have seen included or even hinted at in some way in the movie since there is a lot to cover in all the cracks of the story. Any of these would have made for great additions to the original plot imo and would have given more depth and life to the story.

#sleeping beauty #disney's sleeping beauty #aurora #princess aurora #prince phillip #maleficent #king stefan #merryweather #flora #fauna #sleeping beauty meta #meta

61 notes · View notes

bookish-bi-mormon · 3 years

Text

The People You Think You Love Don’t Exist

Written for @asexual-jarchivist for @tma-valentines-exchange

Read on Ao3

Fandom: The Magnus Archives

Characters: Jonathan Sims and Martin Blackwood

Tags: Argument, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Fluff, (mostly fluff), Scottish Safehouse, Post Lonely,

Happy Valentines Day Tony!! I love you so much 💜💜

~~~~~~~~

Jon was tired. And he was frustrated with himself for being tired. He and Martin had been in Daisy’s safehouse for a few days, and he had had plenty of time to rest and relax. It was the first time in a long time that he’d consistently gotten a good night’s sleep. Yet he was exhausted.

Martin poked his head out of the kitchen, a grin across his face. Jon wanted to be happy to see that grin. It really was a beautiful grin. But he knew it meant Martin was about to ask him something and he didn’t want to get up from his spot on the couch.

“Hey Jon?” Martin said, in an endearingly genuine voice, “Would you want to come help me finish dinner? I’m almost done, just a few extra steps.”

And, because Jonathan Sims was finally accepting how in love he was, he agreed to follow Martin into the kitchen, despite the protests from his mind and body as he left the comfortable sofa and made his way around the corner.

They worked in silence for a while. Martin kept glancing at Jon like he wanted to say something, but he wasn’t saying anything, and it was starting to grate on Jon’s already strained nerves. His good will was beginning to leave him and his legs hurt for no discernable reason and really his mind just kept telling him to get in bed.

But instead he was placing the tray of asparagus in the oven and trying to match Martin’s chipper attitude. Although that seemed to be wearing thin itself.

It was odd, the kinds of things you thought about when you were in the same room as someone but not talking to them. Unbidden, a memory made its way to the front of Jon’s mind, like an unwanted acquaintance approaching him on an unusually foggy day: how much did they really know each other, he and Martin? Peter Lukas had said that they didn’t, and as much as Jon had tried to forget that – had tried to forget most everything that had happened that day – it was a thought that demanded attention.

He glanced at Martin, as he was collecting a couple of plates from the cupboard, and wondered at how few conversations they had really had in all the time they had known each other. Did he even know Martin’s middle name? Not that that detail really mattered but … Martin had been known to lie. To be fair so had Jon himself.

Despite himself, Jon felt the memory of Peter Lukas’s voice push its way to the front of his mind. The people you think you love don’t exist. Not really. And that’s a very lonely place to be.

“What is it?” Martin asked, and Jon shook his head a bit, reorienting himself.

“What?”

“Nothing you just – you looked like you had something to say,” Martin placed the plates and utensils on the small table as he spoke, his eyes on Jon. They were earnest eyes. Kind.

Worried.

“It's nothing,” Jon said, turning away as if to check on something and then realizing he had nothing to check. “No, my mind just went … somewhere else. Sorry.”

Martin nodded silently, like he understood something, “My mind goes there too, sometimes,” he said in a small voice.

“Where?” Jon asked, looking at Martin, and he was sorry that he sounded more annoyed than he’d meant to.

Martin smiled a sadly, “The Lonely.” He paused, then said softly, “I’m sorry,” looking at the ground, “It’s my fault we ended up there in the first place.”

Jon breathed. He knew what he was supposed to say in this situation. He was supposed to say it wasn’t a problem, that he’d have gone to the Lonely – or somewhere ten times worse – a thousand times over to save Martin because he loved him and that’s what love was, wasn’t it? But he was so tired. He dropped into one of the chairs with a small nod instead of responding. He tried to think of something he knew about Martin that didn’t have to do with being tormented by monsters. When was the last time they’d had a conversation about something normal?

No, that was unfair. They had had plenty of light conversations as they traveled here. Jon just really needed to get some sleep.

“I think I’m going to lie down,” he found himself saying aloud.

Martin looked a bit taken aback, “But dinner is almost –”

“I know.” Jon said, rather abruptly, standing and starting to make his way across the room. “I’m sorry I’m … not hungry.”

Martin took a deep breath, evidently upset, although he tried to hide it. “Right. Okay. I’ll just eat on my own.” He wasn’t trying to be passive-aggressive, but it still made Jon feel the need to apologize.

“Sorry,” he said again, “I’ve just been … I’ve been having a bit of a rough time.”

“What and you think I haven’t?”

“No, I never said that,” Jon responded quickly, turning back to face him “why are you –”

“Sorry,” Martin said, and Jon was acutely aware of how often that word had been used in the last few minutes, “I just – are you angry with me about something, Jon?”

…

Jon hadn’t thought he was angry – confused or doubtful, maybe – but a few moments later he’d dug into the hurt he’d been feeling since he’d woken up in the hospital, and it certainly looked a lot like anger. Months of worrying about Martin from a distance and watching him choose to drift further and further away – maybe it wasn’t rational, but emotions rarely are, and Jon had been hurting for a long time.

“That’s not fair,” Martin said indignantly in response to Jon’s latest assertion. They were both standing in the middle of the kitchen now, agitation keeping Jon on his feet despite the tiredness he’d been feeling all day.

“Well, I’m sorry” Jon said, this time using that word as more of a weapon than an apology, his voice louder than he meant it to be, “I just … I wish we could’ve faced these last few months together, but instead you left me to deal with all of it on my own.”

Martin scoffed and Jon looked up, surprised at the derision on his face. “Oh, you were alone?” Martin retorted.

“No, I – you know what I mean.”

“No Jon, tell me. What do you mean?”

Jon sighed, he knew that he shouldn’t say what was about to come out of his mouth, “I wasn’t completely alone, but that’s because for once I wasn’t the one pushing everyone away.”

Martin made an indignant noise, “I was trying to keep you safe!” he said, “to keep you away from their plans for once!”

“But you didn’t have to do that!” Jon retorted, “I don’t need you to protect me!”

Martin was silent for a moment, the hurt evident in his eyes. And Jon was suddenly acutely aware of the circular scars that peppered his skin, the perpetually wrinkled scarring on his burned hand, and the months that for him held no memory other than fearful dreams. Maybe he did need someone to protect him.

“Jon,” Martin said after a deep breath, “you were … gone. You were gone and Tim was dead, and I was alone.”

Jon opened his mouth as if to say something but stopped himself.

“The lonely, it’s not – I wasn’t just there for a small amount of time,” Martin said, “It’s not even just these past months. I have always been … alone.”

And on that word the tears started running down his cheeks. Slowly at first but they picked up speed as he fought to keep his breathing under control. “Even … back when we first started working in the Archives, you all were such good friends and I just … I tried so hard. But I’ve never been the person people see. I’ve always faded into the background. The lonely just … let me do it on command,” he said with a bitter laugh through his tears.

“Martin,” Jon said, guilt filling him as he reached a comforting hand out, but Martin waved it away.

“No, no, it’s fine I’m just …” he took a shuddering breath, “for once, I could use that. For once I thought, ‘I can be alone, on purpose and I can help people that way. Maybe even save the world.’ But it doesn’t matter anymore. Turns out that was just another stupid idea.”

Jon took a few steps toward him, closing the distance but not reaching for him this time, “Martin, I’m so sorry,” he said, “I – I was hurt that you pushed me away but I shouldn’t have brought it up like this. I – “

“It’s alright Jon, don’t –” Martin took a deep breath, obviously trying to reorganize his thoughts, stop himself from saying something stupid. “I’m just … I think sometimes that maybe nobody actually needs me, y’know? Like, all I do is make tea, write bad poetry, and fuck everything up.”

Jon looked at Martin, despite his large frame, in that moment he looked small. Jon thought back on everything that had happened to them, on all the times he’d thought he could do things alone, and all the times Martin had been there for him. “I’m sorry that you feel that way,” he said, and for some reason in this moment he felt the right thing to do was increase the distance between them, give Martin some space, “and yes, we’ve both made our share of bad decisions recently. But,” he sank into one of the kitchen chairs, keeping his eyes on Martin, “I need you to know that’s not true – I do need you. I mean … that’s kind of what I’ve been trying to say, I think.”

Martin turned his eyes to meet Jon’s.

“I missed you,” Jon admitted, “and I kept my distance because I trusted you, but it still hurt, although I don’t blame you for any of the decisions you made,” and as he said it he realized it was true. “I guess I’m just … scared?”

“Scared of what?” Martin sat as well, his legs brushing against Jon’s. He was still wiping tears from his eyes, but he seemed to be regaining composure, his earnest face focused on Jon.

“I’ve changed.” Jon said matter-of-factly, looking forward at the lines in the wood of the table, “I’m not … human. What if … what if I’m not who you thought I was? You think you know me but – ”

“Oh Jon,” Martin said, reaching his arm around Jon’s shoulder. Jon initially stiffened at the unexpected touch, but then welcomed the opportunity to melt into Martin’s warmth, “I’m sorry I hurt you,” he said first, and Jon nodded to show he accepted the apology, “and yeah, we are not the people we were when we first started working in the archives, anyone could tell you that,” Jon scoffed at the understatement, “maybe there is a lot we still don’t know about each other but … I mean we haven’t been boyfriends very long. We’ve got time to learn.”

Boyfriends. Jon smiled. He did like the sound of that every time he heard it.

“And I know enough now to say this,” Martin gently cupped Jon’s face in one of his hands, smiling slightly as their eyes met, “I love you Jonathan Sims, and no amount of spooky Avatar weirdness is going to change that.”

Jon smiled in response; much – though not all – of the tension he had been feeling drifted away as he leaned up to gently kiss Martin.

“I love you too, Martin,” he said quietly.

After a moment, Martin pulled back, sniffing the air. Jon smelled it too, something burning.

Simultaneously, they turned to look at the counters. The chicken was set on top of the stove and had long since grown cold. There was smoke rising from inside the oven and Jon realized with a start that he had never set a timer for the asparagus he’d placed inside.

Jon wasn’t entirely sure why, but he started to laugh as Martin rushed to open the oven; snatching a potholder and waving smoke away, he pulled out a tray of charred black sticks that were far beyond edible. Martin looked from Jon to the devastated tray and back, the dismay on his face transitioning into reluctant amusement before he was laughing alongside Jon, his face breaking into one of the most wonderful smiles Jon had ever seen.

#tma valentine's exchange 2021 #the magnus archives #jonmartin #fic #fanfic #angst #fluff #scottish safehouse #argument

17 notes · View notes

anavakarian · 4 years

Text

A tipping point

Adam + Eve (Female detective)

Rating: explicit. Smut, fluff and angst ahead!

The night is clear and chilly, just enough to form vapour clouds in front of my mouth with my exhales, and the absence of moonlight turns it into the perfect setting for a horror film. The twinkle of the carved Jack O'Lanterns watches over the scarce souls that still wander the streets, close to the witch’s hour of midnight. Trick or treat time is far over and only lonely passer-by are still out on the streets.

And that is exactly my case. Except for the small detail that I am not alone and someone else - tall, broad-shouldered, grey pea coat - walks next to me immersed in an annoyed - and annoying - silence.

“Oh! C’mon Adam... You have to admit that the irony is funny. Just a little bit?”

My tone is easy and hopeful, and I grin at him, trying to ease the mood. A pointless effort, I’m afraid, as the blonde vampire just scowls even further, stubbornly quiet, while we arrive at the door of my apartment block.

So I just give up, rolling my eyes and looking away from him. “Well, at least Felix thought it was hilarious…”

The constant and assured sound of his steps behind me come to a halt while I retrieve the keys. In the corner of my eye, I perceive that Adam is giving me a hard look, narrowed icy green eyes even cooler than before, if that’s possible at all. His jaw is clenched, shoulders tight and I am nearly sure that his hands are fisted into balls in the pockets of his coat.

And I know he’s about to chew me out once we walk in and I know it's about my costume. Not that he scares me, as it’s not the first time he barks at me and we end up headbutting. In preparation - and foreseeing the storm coming - I feel my moodiness skyrocketing at the same time my brow sinks, mirroring his own.

Although, being completely honest about it… Perhaps I’ve been pushing this whole dressing-up joke a bit too far…

This whole situation began 4 hours ago, although it had been lurking in my mind for quite a long time already. As a joke.

Halloween has always been my favourite festival and this year, as a Detective, I had the dubious privilege of being invited to the private and exclusive party at the Town Hall. There was alcohol, music, snobs, representatives of the city services and, of course, Mayor Friedman. And, as a whole novelty this year, Agent Rebecca Greene and her squad had also been invited: the sexy vampires were still the talk of the town even after the passing months. Besides, the mayor was still trying to bang my mum, to my disgust...

As I fully expected, only Nate and Felix dressed up for the party: a rather good looking mummy and a zombie. And, as I also fully expected, Mason and Adam didn’t. Fair enough… To be honest, I couldn’t really picture them in any supernatural costume different than their own skin.

I obviously dressed up, as I already said, on a smashing costume and I thought it was the best and funniest idea ever. Felix cackled the loudest guffaw when he saw me, that bad that he had to bend over himself to keep breathing. Nate chuckled, shaking his head in amused disbelief. Mason wolfishly smiled at me, although I think it was more about the outfit than the actual costume idea. Thought confirmed after he gave me a clear pick-up line. But Adam…

Well, I would have never thought I could gather so much coldness in a glare as I received from him at that instant.

And just for a stupid costume! Black leather trousers, victorian corset, a black velvet cape, some fake blood and, the final touch, a cheap set of fangs that kept falling off my mouth every time I opened it.

I was a vampire!!!

Honestly, I found it hilarious, working with four of them. But it was quite clear to me that Adam didn’t share my amusement…

After four hours of mingling with authorities and a bunch of snobs, dealing with the Major and keeping my mum at distance, the party was over and I was not even drunk. And, to my surprise, Adam was the only one who volunteered to accompany me home, even if my gaze screamed at Nate for help…

In other circumstances, I would have really wanted Adam to walk me home, but not today. Not when we have barely exchanged words at all during the whole evening. During this year we have had our sweet moments together, mostly holding hands, long deep conversations over a glass of wine, understanding a bit better why he acts the way he does with me. And I’m being patient, Gods know I am because I think he will be worth it. But I’m just a bit fed up with his pissy behaviour lately.

In the blink of an eye, we are both in front of my apartment door.

“What is what you find annoying about my costume exactly? I mean… I was the one bitten and everything, and the only one with no supernatural powers. Haven’t you considered that this might actually be sort of therapeutic for me?” I reproach at him with a matter-of-fact tone, fumbling with the keys to open the door. Perhaps I should have just remained quiet and wait for him to speak, but I’m quite pissed at his pissiness , if that makes sense.

In response, Adam’s brow bottoms down his face as if I have just said the most stupid thing in the history of humanity. “Therapeutic???” He asks in bewilderment, following me inside and pushing the door closed after himself - not hard enough to break it, though.

“Ok! Ok! I’ll carry on being a miserable human and having nightmares as I had before…” I retort, scowl now patent on my face, gesturing excessively with my hands in a very dramatic way, I reckon.

And my line and acting only makes his frown sink deeper - if that’s even possible - and ball his hands into fists on his sides. “Do not twist my words, Eve. Besides, are you seriously telling me that this... charade feels therapeutic in any way to you?” he insists, signalling my outfit with a hand in disbelief.

“Yes! This means I’ve reached a point where I can make fun of Murphy’s attack… So yes, it’s kind of therapeutic, Adam.” I’m fully aware that my tone is far from being quiet at all, but he’s getting on my nerves and this argument is overly stupid.

We both pause to glare at each other on opposite sides of my dining room. The setting is great: giant spiderwebs and a new set of plastic pumpkins lighten my apartment up gloomily. There's distant music on the next-door flat’s party that seeps through mine.

“Make fun? You nearly died! That’s the most reckless statement…” He gives two steps forwards but stops himself on going any further, nearly choking with the intensity of his voice that echoes in the walls like a drum roll and I hold my ground in front of that man that is scolding me as if I was a child. Once Adam speaks again, he has lowered his volume considerably. “This is not a thing you should be making fun of. We are far from being the romantic characters every novel painted, but monsters, Eve,” he grunts, his tone sharp and cold as the winter wind.

My chest tightens and my blood boils at his statement and his patent stubbornness. I stride towards him, bridging the distance between us, my finger pointing at his broad chest. Menacing. Threatening. I actually snarl at him when I speak. “No, you’re not. You’re as far of being a monster as you are of being a fucking romance novel character. So stop saying it!”

The words leave my mouth definitely harsher than I intended. At least, harsh enough to quieten him momentarily. Despite his silence, Adam glares at me because of my outburst. However, it only lasts for a second. It quickly changes into something softer, with a hushed hint of gratitude at the meaning of my words, and a hint of something else that neither of us has been brave enough to name just yet.

And, suddenly, the world stops spinning and I become hyper-aware of our proximity, the broad frame of his body just a few inches away from me. The annoying music of my neighbours muffles in my ears and our agitated breaths are the only sound perceivable. I suddenly realize that he smells... well, nice.

We stare at each other for a while, icy green eyes meeting my sapphire blue ones, still challenging and proud, but not cold anymore.

His gaze lingers on mine, boldly but hesitant, before gliding down slowly to my lips. We had found ourselves in situations like this before, longing pulling us together as the most potent magnet. But he always runs away from me nevertheless.

Adam swallows hard, and I can see and feel his struggle.

My breath hitches. My heart stutters. I’m not sure if it's because of the prospect of another disappointment or because I do really need whatever might happens next.

No. This time won’t be different than many others before... The longing will persist. He cannot be thinking of doing it for real this time, can he?

But, to my surprise, he does.

His hand, slightly trembling, reaches out to cup my chin and tips it up. And he leans down and kisses me gently, just a light contact lip to lip. Insecure. Fleeting.

I freeze.

Adam pulls away and I blink confused, not believing what has just happened. The kiss has been so soft and brief that I am not really sure I didn’t imagine it.

I let out a breath I don't know I am holding, and look at him, wondering for answers. Wondering what that meant.

The raw emotion in his eyes strikes me hard: a mixed desire for more and fear. I cannot think, our gazes are locked on each other. My body reacts before I do, getting on my tiptoes and circling his neck with my arms carefully slow as if he might vanish if I go any faster.

I pull him down for another tentative kiss and he doesn’t resist.

Unhurried, languid, but firmer than his, trying to figure out if this is just a dream. And to my delight Adam responds, his lips moving on mine shyly.

And I sink back on my heels, parting from him.

He nuzzles my nose with his and rests his forehead on mine, eyes closed, both our breaths ragged. The next thing I feel is his hand cradling the back of my neck, fingers caressing my scalp, while his other arm wraps around my waist, pushing me closer to his firm body as if the distance between us hurts.

He seeks my mouth this time, his tongue teasing my bottom lip with the slightest touch. And I concede, parting them. I'm completely lost in the taste of him, in the silky strokes of his tongue and in the delicacy of each of his movements.

But it only takes seconds, or perhaps minutes, before the kiss grows. Thirsty. Starving. From unhurried to needy. From subtle to determined. Full of contained emotion.

I tighten the grip of my hands on the collar of his shirt, desperately searching for support, as I’m not sure if I’m awake or dreaming. His scent, the need and the heat of his mouth… I don’t want to open my eyes. I don’t want to wake up. His other hand tangles on my short hair and tugs tentatively, tilting my head to the side. He kisses my cheek, my jawline and descends a trail of nips and kisses down my neck and I moan, desire blooming in my core. His mouth reaches one especially sensitive spot that makes me gasp and he suddenly freezes, taking a dark deep inhale over my pulse point.

My eyes snap open. A thrill of danger descends down my spine.

“I wouldn’t mind if you…” I breathe out with a husky voice, meaning clearly implicit in the unfinished sentence. And I surprise myself realizing it is the truth indeed.

However, he cuts my words short. “I won’t,” Adam claims, although I’m not sure if he’s talking to me or to himself.

Before I can think of it any further, he goes back to my lips and I drink his kiss with fervent desperation. My hands go back to life, running over his shirt, untucking it from his trousers and undoing buttons as I find them. When I finally pull it open, I trail the soft skin of his torso and his hard muscles and planes and I sigh in awe. Hot perfection, like one of those roman statues that the museums keep in their insides. Timeless beauty.

The bare rake of my nails over his sensitive abs make him moan and I chuckle when his usually clever fingers, unable to undo the tie of my cape, rip it open instead.

Adam stops and huffs, but I don’t give him time to speak or to apologize. Or to overthink about it before I’m tugging at his shirt. “Take this off,” I mumble, so close to his lips that I’m sure he can feel the words.

And he immediately complies, getting off the shirt and tossing it onto the floor. I pull away just for an instant, just to admire the exquisite perfection of his body, how his chest rises with an agitated breath, how the slightest blush of pink has grown on his cheeks and how he’s looking at me with unconcealed want.

The colossal barrier that Adam had put between us during this whole year is not there anymore. The wall has collapsed. The dam has burst. And we are being dragged away by the strongest and most primal need I’ve ever felt before.

Desire strikes me so hard that makes my knees buckle.

I gasp in surprise when he lifts me up and I wrap my legs around his torso. Entangled on kisses, he paces until the wall makes us stop forcefully. It feels frozen cold against my back in heavy contrast with the burning heat of his body embracing me.

Gods, I feel him whole, hard against my core when he rocks between my legs and I moan. The pressure feels good, far too good. But it’s not even close to what I need. What I want. I rock my hips in response, eliciting a groan from him that sounds delightful in my ears.

And, suddenly, he sharply breaks the kiss, panting heavily. Adam rests his forehead on my bare shoulder while I’m still wrapped in his strong arms, helplessly wondering why the reason for his pause is. Even when my fingers comb his scalp gently in an encouraging way, I can still feel his hesitation.

Is it because of my blood? Am I really that overwhelming ?

“Adam, we don’t have to continue. It’s ok,” I mutter, resigned but understanding.

He sighs and pulls away, just enough to meet my gaze. His mouth opens, but he stumbles with the words and that’s so unusual in his normally secure endeavour that makes me hyper-aware that this is a highly unmapped ground for him. He takes a deep breath before trying to speak again. “I do want you, but it’s been a long time…” To my surprise, he smiles thinly, shyly - just a bit - and a red blush crawls onto his face. “I’m a bit overwhelmed and this could be a rather disappointing experience if we keep up this pace...”

Oh!... Ah! Ok…

It seems that I was quite wrong about the blood and I do wonder for an instant what “a long time” exactly means for a 900 years old vampire, but I hold the question for another day, perhaps. However, I’m still against the wall, lifted up and feeling him hard and pushing against me. As much as I want to be fucked right here and now, I could also do with a change of pace.

“We can slow down a bit, perhaps?”

He nods and leaves me back on the floor delicately, his fingers caressing my cheek immediately after on a dreamy promise and I realize that I’m more than willing to hurtle towards whatever abyss he wants to take me with him.

Before I can react, his lips are on mine again, but this time sweetly and delicately again, and his hands are scouting over the corset, sliding down towards my hips and back up, unhurriedly caressing the sides of my torso. His touch is feather-like over the side of my breasts and sends a thrill of desire straight to my core.

“As much as you look stunning in this, I would appreciate if you take it off.”

I have to chuckle at his polite ways, but I comply. He spins me around and pulls gently at the laces, this time without ripping anything apart. Still with my back to him, the next thing I feel are his hands mapping my skin and tracing my arms and shoulders, caressing my neck and my scalp. I gasp when he finally steps closer to me and embraces me from behind, being his chest flushed to my back.

Adam kisses my neck again as lingers his hands over my body. I moan and squirm in his touch when he finally - finally - outlines my breasts with his fingers before his thumbs caress my nipples. Before I realize, one of his hands has slipped into my trousers sneakily and I feel myself dying in anticipation, holding my breath.

He perfectly knows what he’s doing when he parts my folds to damp a finger into my moisture before going back to caress my clit. The moan that leaves my mouth is obscene and my knees decide is a good time to give up, that bad that Adam has to hold my waist to avoid me to drop on the floor.

“Is this good?” he whispers in my ear with a bit of smugness, cradling me closer to his body if that’s even possible at all.

I stutter something incoherent as lost as I am on the feeling of him, on his unhurried strokes on my sex, on his strong arm circling my waist, on the warmth of his naked skin on mine and on the feeling of his lips, claiming my neck with tender kisses.

My pleasure is building way too fast, probably out of anticipation and pure need. At the end of the day, it has been nearly one year craving him. My nails dig into his biceps and I find the strength to put words together at last. “Adam, you’re doing quite a good job, but I want you...”

“But I don’t know how long...” he whispers in a veiled excuse.

The steady rhythm of his finger fastens just a bit and I feel the tension coiling up in my core.

“It doesn’t matter, please… I want you,” I insist.

But he carries on. I’m already at the edge of my climax when he finally slows his relentless pace and pulls his hand out my trousers. I complain with a muffled groan, my whole body twitching, desperate to reach the denied relief. However, my frown and my frustration soften when I see his focused expression and his thin smile. Adam holds my hand and walks me into my bedroom. We kiss again, hard and passionate and I melt into his embrace and his doing.

Our remaining clothes are off on a blur of motion that I cannot clearly recall, and we map our bodies, lingering touches over flushed and heated skin. But I know he’s stretching the moment out and I just wonder if it’s because he’s really enjoying the caresses or he’s really that adorably shy for not wanting to ask.

“Are you sure of this, Adam?”

He doesn’t reply - he’s quite busy exploring my lips - but he nods fervently, cupping my face with his hands.

I grin a little because he is broad and stern, pig-headed and scary sometimes. But I got to see that part of him that is not the common one: his vulnerability, his insecurities and his fears. The next question is probably the most awkward thing I’ve ever asked during foreplay, as the flow of the moment usually leads to it naturally. However, despite our clear intention of ending this whole experience in bed, I don’t want to make him uncomfortable. “Would you like to be on top or shall I?”

He takes in a shaky inhale before answering. “Whichever feels best for you, Eve.”

I smile at the consideration of his answer and push him back a little so he falls on the bed. Adam shuffles back to rest his head on the pillows and I climb up onto his hips but he seems to be reading my mind and sits up immediately, circling my waist with his arm, fingers splayed over my bare back, anchoring me.

He groans with pleasure when I hold his thick erection to line him up with my body. Then, I lower myself down slowly, sinking him inch by inch in me. Fireworks, or perhaps a million galaxies, begin to cluster behind my eyes at the sensation and completion never felt so intense, so good and so right at the same time.

The righteous feeling of belonging overwhelms me when I begin to rock very slow in his lap. When his hands clasp my hips with unexpected strength. When his lips find mine just to let out a shaky exhale.

After the first deep thrust of my hips - which makes him moan and shiver, to my delight - his thumb reaches straight away to the point we are joined together to caress my clit. I ride him unhurriedly, kissing, drinking his pleasured sounds with my mouth and focusing on angling my hips for him to reach that sweet spot inside me. After all the meticulous foreplay, my climax strikes me really fast and with the weight of one year of contained feelings and longing. With the asphyxiating pressure of words that haven’t been spoken between us yet.

And immediately after, Adam's hips stutter and I feel him come, leaving muffled groans and heavy pants on the crook of my neck. His teeth tease my tender skin without breaking it and I’m amazed at how much self-restraint he actually has.

The world blurs on the edges and tiredness makes its way into my bones. We kiss for some minutes, sloppily and tenderly, before I move away from his lap and into the bathroom to clean myself.

Looking in the mirror, I see the marks on my skin, slight bruises and love bites that will tell the story of our passionate night to everyone that would be curious enough to notice. But he hasn’t bitten me. Not at all.

I smile goofily at my reflection and try not to put words at the feeling that blooms in my chest, thinking of what a huge step forwards this actually has been. For him. For us.

To my surprise, Adam is fast asleep in my bed when I come back to my bedroom.

***

The weight of his arm has been a consistent leitmotif during the night and, even if disruptive after such a long time sleeping alone, it has been welcomed.

However, there’s nothing there anymore. I can’t feel the warmth of his body. The bulge of blankets on his side. Just nothing.

I open my eyes and, as if waking up from a dream to fall into a nightmare, I realize Adam is not in my bed, but just an empty cold space where he should be.

I don’t fully understand what is going on but, once I do, I panic. And, then, I dread, taking his disappearance as regret. It’s suddenly obvious that he feels guilty about what happened between us and fled.

And that I’m alone once again.

Perhaps this shouldn’t have happened in the first instance... Perhaps this has all been a mistake...

But it’s too late to take things back as they were before. In what sort of vulnerable position this leaves us now?

“Shit!” I mutter, upset and worried, scrambling out of bed and putting on an old oversized t-shirt that is meant to be my pyjamas.

I decide to get my phone and call him right away to figure out whatever is going on in his mind. Or, at least, to try to. My phone’s in my bag, in the kitchen.

But, as soon as I pull my bedroom door open, my heart nearly stops at the shock. Adam is in the dining room, fully dressed and standing in front of the entrance door. As still as a statue.

He looks up at me, full of regret and I froze.

“I thought you had left...” I barely say, my throat tightening painfully.

“I… I tried to.”

Bitterness spreads through my body at his confession and, after what happened between us, after my dreamy high expectations, I have to swallow hard to keep the tears at bay.

Has this meant anything to him at all? What is he running away from?

“What has stopped you?” After a year of battling with him and with his emotional constipation, I’m truly tired. I’m just exhausted. And I don’t think I can bear with the disappointment of whatever he is about to say.

But his expression is not stern, neither stoic as it usually is. He looks worn out. As exhausted as I am. And mostly troubled. “I can’t… I’m tired of hiding. I’m tired of lying to myself and to everyone. To you...”

“I don’t think you are as good a liar as you think you are, Adam…”

My snarky but sincere comment makes him smile sadly.

There’s a tense silence. A whole minute of staring at each other, seizing each other. Until he breaks the silence once again to tell me out of the blue, “I’m in love with you, Eve.”

But he looks so troubled at that beautiful line that my heart dreads and I can’t find the wits to answer back. I feel like crying and, even so, I pull a smile on. “Is that a bad thing?”

“I… I don’t know.”

“Can I ask… What are you so scared of?”

“Loss. Guilt...” he replies without hesitation. “I love you but, whatever happens, I don’t want to drag you along with me. To this darkness...”

And, suddenly, everything clicks. Adam has suffered loss with mortals, with friends and family, for over 900 years. I’m sure that the last thing he intended was to fall in love with one. We, mortals, are… brief. Fleeting lives. Shooting stars. He just doesn’t want to lose me. To suffer another loss. But, most and foremost, he doesn’t want to drag me with him to his curse.

He considers himself a monster. He doesn’t want me to become a vampire in order to be together.

I can’t help but feel sorry for him and for his experiences. For the complex situation that we find ourselves into and because there’s no way we will both be able to come out of it intact. And I’m fully aware of it when I lock my eyes in his icy green ones, reddened by worry and hesitation. Anxious. “You’re not dragging me anywhere I didn’t think of before you and me ever happened and, even so, it wouldn’t be your decision to make Adam, but mine. If anything has to be, we will figure it out once it’s time. The only thing you are to decide now is staying with me or leaving. That's it..."

The words leave my mouth on a rushed blurt out that is barely a whisper before the pain in my throat forbids me on carrying on talking and I’m fully aware of how ultimate it sounds. My eyes are wet, far much of what I intended, but I also understand that this will be it. A tipping point. After what has just happened between us, there’s no way we would be able to go back to what we had before, that platonic and patient relationship. And, if he leaves now… I don’t even want to think about it.

I go back to my bedroom under his attentive and aching stare, and into my bed, laying on my side and covering myself with the blankets.

Nothing happens.

Five. Ten. Or perhaps thirty minutes just focused on my breath. I’m not sure of how long I remain awake, listening to every sound, wondering if he will choose me over his doubts.

But, as the minutes happen and nothing else matters but his absence, the tears I’ve been stubbornly keeping inside burst free and slide down my cheeks, dying in the fluffiness of the pillow.

He’s left. He’s made his choice and he’s left.

And he’s taken my heart with him.

I’m so deep in my misery that I startle when an unexpected weight sinks the left part of the mattress down. Adam shifts closer, flushing his chest against my back, and wraps his arm around me tightly. Then, he drops a single kiss on my shoulder that means the universe to me.

“I love you,” he whispers quietly against my ear.

I dry my tears, wriggling around in his embrace to face him. To kiss him.

“I love you, too.”

Read it on AO3

#31 days of wayhaven #TWC #The Wayhaven Chronicles #adam du mortain #female detective #F!Detective/Adam #firt time #love confessions #this guy is so troubled...#angst du mortain #My writing #fanfic #AO3 fanfic #smut!

25 notes · View notes

ikenbar · 3 years

Text

A Date with Kiro: The Costume Shop

Howdy folks!

So, I’ve had the idea for dates supporting my oc, Ikamara for some time now but I wanted to go a little farther in her story before trying anything. But now we are at Chapter five so HERE WE GO!!

I also want to use the dates to show off who would be the main fella for the next chapters!! and SURPRISE!! Kiro will be the main for the next chapter!! :D So excited for this chapter you guys have no idea. And I’ll be able to show it off next week!! Stay tuned~ ;P

-Ike and Bar Productions

Setting: Right after the happenings of Chapter four. Ike has a weekend off so she spends it investigating some leads on the Montu case.

To understand some details about the Montu case, feel free to read Chapter one, part one of my fanfiction here! If you’re just here for the sake of a Kiro date, enjoy your stay! You don’t have to read the fanfiction to understand what is happening but it would make more sense! :D

Warnings: There are none. Unless you have a problem with tight clothing and/or cute gay moments.

Date with Kiro: Costume Shop

"Sorry, mam. Like I said before, we don’t sell that here.”

I pouted, dropping the mask in my hand slightly. I had made a goal to visit all of the costume shops in Loveland city, searching for the mask Montu had sent me, hoping to find one that had sold it. But the city only had three costume shops, and I had been through all them before ten on a Saturday.

Sensing my disappointment, the shop owner continued, “If it would make you feel better, you can have a look around. I don’t know. Maybe they took something apart from my store to make it.” I thought a moment, then nodded, shoving the mask into my messenger bag. I turned and looked around the shop. It was small but jam packed full of strange outfits and costumes. Some of which seemed to be vintage. This intrigued me.

I had barely taken one step into the store before a buzzing came from my pocket. I pulled it out and froze.

It was Kiro.

I still hadn’t quite accepted the fact that the Kiro was now one of my frequent connections. But there he was, calling me on a Saturday like we were actual friends… at least I hoped we were. Maybe I was just a question he was trying to answer. After all, how we met left a lot to the imagination.

Without wanting to waste anymore time, I quickly answered the call.

“Speaking.” I said, as casual as I could.

“Hey Super Stranger! How are you?”

Instantly my sour mood disappeared as Kiro’s happy voice filled my ears. Kiro had given me that nickname when I had saved him from a car accident. I had my motorcycle helmet on so he couldn’t see my face very well. He had called me his hero and had given me a nickname to commemorate it. And, though the nickname was corny, it never ceased to bring butterflies to my stomach. “I’m alright.” I mused, walking further into the store as I spoke, “How are you?”

“I’m great!” Kiro sang, “Guess what?”

“... What?” I asked, my smile faltering slightly.

“I found this amazing little stand that serves the best drinks! You’ve gotta come try it!”

“What- Now?” I scoffed.

“Yeah!” Kiro sang, “I don’t know when they are closing so it has to be now!”

“I’m a little busy with work.” I said, pulling at various costumes from their racks, “I don’t think I’d be able to leave it so easily.”

“You work on the weekends?” Kiro laughed slightly.

“Well superheroing isn’t really a part time gig!”

“But even superheroes need breaks!”

“Yeah, well, crime never rests.”

“But they make an amazing hot chocolate! They add espresso for extra flavor!”

The mention of coffee instantly changed my attitude.

“What do you say? Just one drink!” Kiro’s pleas increasingly became higher pitched, as if he was a child promising to do chores for a piece of candy.

Before I could say another word, a scream came from Kiro’s end of the phone. “Oh no.” Kiro whispered with dread on his tongue, “I’ve been spotted! I’ll text you the address and you can just meet me here!”

“Are you sure that’s a good-”

“No time to talk!” Kiro hurriedly said, “Gotta go! Later Stranger!” And with that, he hung up the phone. I looked down at the phone, shaking my head uselessly at it. Despite the disapproval I felt, a smile still crept it’s way up my lips. There was no way of saying no to that man.

With new found motivation, I searched the variety of costumes for anything pertaining to Montu. Without realizing it, I had begun looking through the superhero suits. As I scanned the clothes, I pulled out a particularly familiar looking costume. My foster brother, Sam, and I used to watch old cartoons from CDs that our foster father kept in his attic. There were a thousand collections to pick from but one cartoon in particular truly piqued our interest.

Boot Fever.

It was about a group of superheroes that fought villains who tried taking over their already crumbling city. It was a very old show with a very old premise but, man did Sam and I eat it up. From the characters to the animation to even the terrible voice acting, we watched that show late into the night. I may not have had great memories of my childhood, but those memories are ones I would take to my grave.

I thought the show had long been forgotten but there I was, holding the main protagonist’s outfit. Her name was Red Sparrow. Her super power was to be able to transform her body into anything she thought of. Sam compared her to me all the time. Though the only point he could connect us to was the fact she was strong. Because, other than that, we were complete opposites. She was very dramatic and in tune with her emotions. Not to mention her suit was extremely form fitting. And, at the time, the tightest thing in my closet was my yoga pants. Even then they would be paired with an oversized sweatshirt and a flannel around my waist.

Past all of that, I loved the fact that she wore a full face mask. It resembled the face of the bird she was named after and, though the design was simple, made her character a big hit in her time. Women's appearances in shows in that time were based solely on how revealing they were. Red sparrow seemed to take that and turn it on it’s head. Her jumpsuit completely covered her whole body, hiding her identity completely.

I plucked off the mask from the top hanger and turned it over in my hands. No one would know it was her unless they took it off. She was a mystery. I longed to be that mystery ever since I was a kid-

A loud bang came from the front door. I ducked behind the clothes rack, immediately bracing for a fight. Instead, I was met with the sound of someone panting heavily. “Welcome in, sir.” The owner of the shop said sarcastically, “Is there something I can help you find?” Curiosity overlapping my shock, I peered around the rack.

There, weakly leaning on the door, was Kiro. He had his eyes closed as he gasped for air. He was in his usual disguise of sunglasses and a black hoodie, but the hoodie’s armpits looked to be drenched in sweat as his sunglasses slid down his equally wet face.

I quickly sunk back behind the rack, frozen in fear. Kiro can’t be here! I screamed in my head, If he tried talking to me he’d know I was Super Stranger! Then I would only disappoint him by being some lowly tv show producer with no regard for feelings! Not to mention, holding a scantily clad costume of an old tv show. I have to act fast.

Looking down at the mask in my hand, a stupid plan came to mind. Not having the time to second guess it, I quickly threw the mask on and pulled the rest of the costume off of it’s hanger. I hurried to the dressing room and pulled the curtain shut, praying that Kiro didn’t notice me go in there. I quickly started stripping down, folding my clothes and shoving them into my messenger bag as I moved.

As I changed, I heard some screaming coming from outside of the small shop.

“I saw him go this way!”

“Quick! Don’t let him go too far!”

Some rustling came from inside the store as Kiro’s familiar voice traveled the air, “Sir, I need a place to hide! Please! Help me!”

I had never heard Kiro so desperate. Half of me wanted to jump out of the dressing room right then to help him. The other half would rather finish getting dressed first.

The latter won.

I pulled on the skin tight suit, regretting it instantly as it squeaked over my skin and tugged at my unshaven leg hairs.

“I don’t know, sir.” the shopkeeper droned, “That sounds rather suspicious to me.”

“I’ll give you my autograph.”

“There is a dressing room over there you can hide in.” The shopkeeper spoke quickly and excitedly. I cursed in a whisper as I picked up my pace. After a moment of pause, quick steps approached my hiding spot. With one last zip of my costume, thankfully from the front, the curtain to the room shot open. Kiro hadn’t looked at me yet, still focused on the door where the screaming had only further increased. But, once he had, his face went completely red.

“I-I’m so sorry!” Kiro stammered, eyes darting straight to the ceiling, “I didn’t know this room was occupied!” A loud bang came from the store’s door again. Without lingering on the awkwardness anymore, I grabbed Kiro’s arm and pulled him into the room. I pushed him into the corner and held a finger to the mask’s beak. Still bushing wildly, Kiro nodded, holding his eyes on my mask all too securely.

High pitched voices rang through the store as they searched the shop. Some of them were questioning the shopkeeper. Others were whining about how small the store was. The sound of metal scraping against metal chimed in the mess of sounds as the girls started searching the clothing racks for him. Soon the interrogating and complaints turned even more sour as they slowly came up with nothing.

Just as I thought we were in the clear, a shadow appeared under the dressing room curtain. “Hey!” A particularly annoying voice called, “Is there anyone in there?!” I froze. Kiro couldn’t answer. He was the person they were looking for! But I couldn’t answer either because Kiro would know I was Super Stranger!

“Hello?!” The girl impatiently called. I felt Kiro’s eyes on me.

I sighed.

“Occupied.” I resolutely boomed. The shadow flickered.

“S-sorry!” She said, obviously startled by my voice. The shadow quickly disappeared. Avoiding Kiro’s eyes, I walked over to the curtain and peered out of the room, just in time to watch all the girls leave the store. I sighed once again and straightened myself, letting the curtain fall back into place.

“You should be safe now.” I said, turning back to face Kiro. He was staring at me wide eyed and mouth agape. His face had significantly returned to it’s normal hue, if not for a slight blush on his cheeks.

“S-Super Stranger?!” He scoffed, finally letting his eyes stray from my face and to my body. I folded my arms and popped my hip.

“Eyes up here, chief.” I deadpanned, signalling for him to adjust his gaze. He did so, his blush rushing back through his face.

“Sorry!” He chuckled nervously, pulling his eyes from me completely, “I just never thought you’d have such a…”

“Yes?”

“... Such a love for such an old show! I mean, how old do you have to be to know who Red Sparrow is?!”

“Apparently not old at all.” I walked over to Kiro and tilted my head so our eyes met, “Suggesting that the twenty-three year old Kiro knows about it.” Kiro tensed. Then he laughed, releasing some of the obvious tension that rode on his shoulders. He looked at me adoringly through the mask.

“I can’t believe it, Super Stranger! You saved me again!” Kiro raised his arms. I held a hand out.

“They were just some fangirls.” I insisted, pushing Kiro backward, “No big deal.”

“Of course it’s a big deal! Who knows what they would have done if they caught me! Let me make it up to you.”

“That isn’t necessary.”

“Come on it’s the least I can do! Hey! That drink stand I was telling you about isn’t too far from here! Let’s go there!”

“And how do you expect to get out of here with those girls looking for you?” I asked, folding my arms again. Kiro’s eyes flickered back to my body. Then, a strange emotion sparked in his eyes as he let them linger there.

“I just need a new disguise!” He said rubbing his hands together. I slowly looked down at my outfit.

“... If you think you’re getting this-”

“No, this shop is full of costumes! I wonder…” Kiro walked past me, being careful not to touch me. He paused at the curtain, checking that the coast was clear, then he moved out of the room. I had only been alone for a couple of minutes until Kiro had returned, costume in hand. I froze.

In his hands was the costume of Complex Cell, the sidekick to Red Sparrow. He could duplicate himself up to a thousand times and not break a sweat, easily confusing the enemy long enough to take them down. He also just so happened to be Red Sparrow’s love interest.

“What are you doing?” I asked, even though I already knew the answer.

“What do you mean, Sparrow?!” Kiro beamed.

>>>

“I can pay, Kiro.”

“Who is this Kiro?!” Kiro boomed, handing the shop owner his card, “For I am COMPLEX CELL!!” I rolled my eyes. The moment Kiro had put on the costume it was like he had completely disappeared, only to be replaced by Complex Cell. The overly confident, motivating, annoyingly positive sidekick of a superhero… so in reality not much had changed other than how he spoke, which was cute at first but it got boring quick.

“Come, dear Sparrow!” Kiro laced his arm into mine, “Hot chocolate awAITS US!!” He took his card and skipped out of the store, pulling me closely behind him.

The moment I stepped out of the store, I immediately felt the eyes of the world on me. I may have been comfortable with my body but I had never been that exposed before. I normally would be wearing at least a jacket but now…

“Hey.” Kiro tugged on my arm, “You ok, Sparrow?”

“I’m not Red Sparrow.” I said through my teeth, “Do you realize how much we stand out?! Everyone’s staring!”

“The sidewalk is practically empty.”

“Emphasis on practically.”

“Stranger,” Kiro laughed and tapped my arm lightly, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. Remember, you’re not the only one dressed up like this! I’ve got your back! Besides, you look amazing!”

My heart leaped through my throat, “... You really think so?”

“Of course!” Kiro looked down at me. His mask only covered the top half of his face, exposing his glistening smile, “I’m disappointed more people aren’t looking! More people need to see how amazing you look!” I elbowed Kiro in the side but still felt the uneasiness lift from my shoulders. There was nothing Kiro would say that could make me hate him.

“Red Sparrow!?”

Kiro halted in his steps and spun around. A small child smiled brightly at Kiro and me. She was tugging at her father’s jacket, pointing at us excitedly. “Dad! Dad, look!! It’s Red Sparrow and Complex Cell!” Kiro released my arm and struted confidently towards the kid.

“Hello, dear child!” Kiro boomed, , smiling brightly and laughing dramatically as he knelt to the little girl’s eye level, “I see you have spotted Sparrow and I! But I am very surprised that someone as pretty as you could know about us!”

“I watched you guys win battles with my mom!” The girl giggled, blushing at Kiro’s shining face, “I really like how you guys save the day! Everyday! I especially like Red Sparrow.” The girl looked hopefully up to me, “She’s my favorite!”

“Well today is your lucky day!” Kiro turned to look at me as well, smile somehow brighter than before, “Isn’t it, Sparrow??” I looked between the two of them, frozen in place. I know what Kiro wants. He wants Red Sparrow. But I'm not Red Sparrow! I’m Ike. The horrible, cold, distant-

A sparkle flashed across the little girl’s eyes. A sparkle I was all too familiar with…

I sighed.

“My dear adventurer!!” My voice jumped to action as I threw my hands in the air and cat-walked over to the girl, “I am honored to be considered your favorite superhero! Pray tell, just how are you doing this fine day?” I knelt down next to Kiro and posed for the girl. Her face lit up beautifully, smiling brighter than even Kiro. Before I could say anymore, she ran into my arms, wrapping her arms around my neck tightly and nearly tipping me over. I kept my arms out, looking to Kiro for any kind of help he could give me. He merely grinned, flashing me with adoring eyes. I frowned uselessly at him. He was no help.

I patted the little girl softly on her back, “M-My! You startled me.” I awkwardly said in Sparrow’s voice, “What’s this for?”

“Last year, my mommy died.” The little girl’s whisper stunned me even further, “She was sick and spent a lot of time in her bed. But we would still spend time together to watch you save the day! She said that she liked you because it didn’t matter what happened to you. You would always make sure the bad guys would lose. And that’s why you’re my favorite! Because you were my mom’s favorite!”

Anything I wanted to say was blocked by a lump forming in my throat. Tidal waves of emotions crashed through my heart as the girl’s grip remained tight around my neck. I may not have had that kind of experience before, nor did I want to experience it, but hearing it come from such a small voice made me feel so bad for her. Like I was next to her on that bed and watching those shows with her mom. The only person I watched those kinds of shows with was Sam and if I were to lose him…

I wrapped my arms around the little girl, pulling her closely to me as I cradled her. “You and your mother have quite an amazing taste.” I said, heroic voice faltering slightly, “But, you should know one thing. I am only a hero because you allow me to be one.” The little girl pulled away from me.

“What do you mean?” She asked, her big eyes filled with curiosity. I smiled lightly and moved my hands so I was holding her arms.

“I am only a hero to protect people like you! Without you, I would be nothing.” I tilted my head and winked at the girl through my mask. The girl shook her head and pushed my hands down.

“That’s not true.” She smiled, “You don’t need someone watching you to do the right thing! You should be able to do it because you know it’s right! That’s what my mom always said!” My finger twitched. Without a moment to waste, the girl turned to her father.

“Daddy! Daddy! Can you take a picture of us!!”

The girl and her father walked joyfully away, leaving Kiro and me in silence. A hand rubbed my back. “You alright, Stranger?” Kiro asked, finally dropping his hero facade.

“... How can a girl that young be so smart?” I asked softly, folding my arms and adjusting my posture to one that better suited me instead of Red Sparrow. Kiro laughed.

“You know, I was thinking the same thing!” He said through a chuckle, “I guess it’s true that wisdom comes from experience.” Kiro’s words left us in another meaningful silence.

“... She reminds me of my foster brother.” I said, my voice trailing slightly. Kiro’s head snapped to me in my peripherals.

“You… were a foster kid?” Kiro asked, tone shifting dramatically.

“We used to watch Boot Fever all the time when we were growing up.” I continued, ignoring Kiro’s question, “He would dress up and pop popcorn because he was so excited to watch it with me.” I turned and caught Kiro’s sparkling eyes. I rolled my own and shoved him from me.

“Don’t look at me like that.” I deadpanned.

“Stranger!” He said, closing the distance between us again with open arms, “You’re opening up!”

“Yeah, yeah.” I mused, looking round the area we were standing in, “Where is this drink stand you have been raving about?”

“Oh!” Kiro quickly grabbed my hand and pointed behind me. A cute, wooden, mobile drink stand sat on the other side of the street. Steam wafted up from a false chimney, gracing the cool air with the soft smell of caramel and cinnamon. Two people stood in line for the drinks, but other than that the street was nearly empty. “Luckily for us, those girls didn’t see me at the stand.” Kiro excitedly said into my ear, “And there is no line! Let’s go!” Kiro pushed against my back. I quickly swatted him away and started walking to the stand on my own. Kiro quickly followed, clapping his hands together like an eager child.

The couple at the stand left with their drinks, leaving room for Kiro and me to walk up. The woman manning the stand looked me up and down. A charming smile flashed on her lips. “Red Sparrow?” She asked, leaning on the counter and arching an eyebrow.

“Barista?” I asked, folding my arms again. She laughed and stood up straight.

“No need to get defensive, Red.” The barista said, “You look good!” A sharp blush struck my cheeks. Arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me backwards and into a chest.

“I know, right?!” Kiro giddily chimed, rubbing his head into my shoulder. I rolled my eyes and flicked Kiro’s forehead. He whined and pulled away from me to rub his head. The barista chuckled and turned to her drinks.

“So, what will it be, heroes?” She asked, avoiding any more eye contact with me. I looked at the menus on the side of the stand, then at Kiro.

“... I’ll have an iced caramel macchiato, subed with white chocolate mocha, coconut milk, and a mocha drizzle.”

Kiro and the barista looked at me in shocked silence. I turned calmly to Kiro. “Anything you’d like to add, Cap?” I asked Kiro casually. His look of astonishment never faltered.

“...You really drink that kind of drink?” He asked with a laugh.

“Oh not at all.” I tactlessly chimed, casually looking at the tip of my gloves, “I just told you I was a foster child. I’ve got to throw you off my scent before you figure out my secret identity.”

“Oh a drink order won’t throw me off!” Kiro laughed and casually approached me, “Just you wait! I’ll figure your identity out and we can be heroes together!... Speaking of which,” Kiro leaned forward, eyes shining beautifully, “Did you ever come up with a superhero name for me like you promised?”

I didn’t know if it was how close he was standing to me, the soft aroma of romantic scents, or the fact that he fit into that superhero costume so well, but every word I wanted to say got caught in my throat. All I could do was look him in the eyes. Eyes so gorgeously blue, I could swim in them…

“Hey, Red.”

I snapped to and looked over at the barista. She shook the iced drink in her hand. “You gonna pay for this or make me stand here holding it in the middle of fall?” She asked, tone dripping in annoyance. I cleared my throat and nodded, taking the drink from her.

“As for you, Captain.” I said, regaining my composure as I turned back to Kiro, “Your hero name is one of importance. I will tell you what it is in due time.”

“So in other words, you don’t have one yet.” Kiro sighed, pouting slightly.

“I do too!” I huffed, stepping away from the stand and gesturing to Kiro to follow, “I’m just not going to expose it in a place where everyone is listening!” Kiro laughed and pulled me into a firm side hug.

“Alright Stranger, I’ll let you off this once.” He sighed, pulling me down the street with me by his side, “So what are you up to for the rest of the day! Are you free to hang out?”

“Me?” I scoffed, brushing off Kiro’s hand from my shoulder, “What about you? Does Savin even know you’re out here?”

“Today’s my day off! Which means I’m all yours!... if you’ll have me?” Kiro’s eyes sparkled like diamonds as he awaited my answer. My hand drifted to my messenger bag where a lump graced my fingertips. I dedicated the whole day to finding anything I could about Montu… but I suppose the costume shops were a bust, and I had no other leads to follow…

“... Where to first?” I asked, adjusting the messenger bag on my shoulder. Kiro beamed and laced his arm in mine. With that, we had continued our walk down the street, starting a meaningless conversation and going nowhere in particular. And, for the first time in a while,

I was alright with having no where to go.

(Next)

4 notes · View notes