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#or its just me on crack
rxskomi · 1 year
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A little warning: uses of some vulgar words, descriptions of poop and farts :D
Other than that enjoy this little whatever I wrote because umm yeah I was feeling goofy 🤪
A daily life with Atsumu Miya consist of trying to see who could get to the bathroom first. Well that's because when one of you goes into the bathroom it'll be half an hour minimum. What are either one of you doing in the bathroom for so long you may ask.. well you see when you or Tsum take a dump you guys are normally either scrolling TikTok or listening to some podcast/audiobook and trust me as someone who does that it'll take you a LOOONG time to finish.
But this time, this time you remain the victor of getting to use the toilet first. Or in Atsumu words 'he went easy on you and gave ya a head start' and thus Atsumu is left to wait outside of the bathroom in your bedroom for his turn to use it.
" POOPIE PIE CAN YA HURRY UP I NEED TA USE THE BATHROOM TOO YA KNOW" Atsumu whined as he really really need to use it.
"Sorry babes, I gotta do what I gotta do yaknow" you replied to which he groaned. (Can you imagine Tsumu just holding in his shit? HELP)
When Atsumu couldn't wait any longer he went to get the spare keys to the bathroom and unlocked the door to barge in. What he saw though... Was you sitting on the toilet on your phone, not even shitting cause your pants are on.
"WHY YOU LIL-" Atsumu stops himself before he could finish it and just pulled you off the toilet bowl and took off his pants and all and sat on it with lightning speed then proceeds to let out the most LOUDEST, WETTEST, STINKIEST fart along with a stream of the most revolting shit sounds.
"EWWW A LITTLE WARNING WOULD'VE BEEN NICE SHITHEAD" you scrambled out the door and shut it tightly while holding your breath trying not to gag on the toxic gas that just came out of your husband.
After he was done using the bathroom, you refused to use it for the whole day and even went to a public shower place to take your shower to clean yourself from that stench.
You still love Tsum Tsum tho, and from that day on you never hogged the bathroom again and you would always let Atsumu use it whenever he needs it 💀
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dandelion-roots · 4 months
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[ID: a digital comic in two panels featuring bungou stray dogs characters. the first shows atsushi banging open a door and shouting, dazai-san! are you oka- the second shows a shot from the anime where chuuya is holding dazai against a wall by his neck. the text reads, homoerotic atmosphere, and four squares with text point out whats happening. they read, casual hand in pocket, chokehold, knife, and lastly um... followed by two sweat drops pointing at chuuya's knee between dazai's legs. a tiny panel in the corner shows atsushi covering his eyes with his tiger paws and blushing as he says, i'm sorry... end ID]
come here. crack open the canon with me for a minute. consider. what if atsushi hadn't listened to everyone telling him dazai would be fine and left to save him only to witness whatever the fuck was going on in that cellar. consider the bit.
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acidsaladd · 1 year
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this is so dumb akjshf
[id: It is a comic of a younger Splinter, kid Leo and toddler Mikey from rottmnt. Splinter is holding Mikey, resting him on his shoulder while he frowns and points at Leo saying “BLUE! If you don’t stop messing around-!” He stops and thinks, putting his hand on his chin while Mikey rests in the crook of his arm and says “I’ll uh…” He suddenly perks up with an idea while Mikey pats his face. “I’ll throw Orange to the garbage” he says as he holds Mikey, who has his hand in his mouth, up in front of him. We then see Leo staring with a small frown and then his lip starts wobbling and tears spring in his eyes as Splinter shouts “NO NO IM ONLY JOKING-“./ end id ]
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poffplay · 28 days
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Sans boops you.
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fukcnoplease · 1 month
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Things always go wrong
Pt2 Pt3 Pt4
Danny paced the halls of pariah dark’s castle, well his castle but even after a few years he wasn't used to that, as Frostbite watched in silence. His king isn't usually this restless before a council meeting but his distress was understandable. As his eighteenth birthday approached the council was getting more and more pushy for Danny to take up his role as king. Frostbite had used his leeway to allow the young king time to grow up and in the four years since his first transformation he had only been called to council a handful of times. It was an impressive feat less because they needed a king and more because the observers were anxious to keep the young king on a leash. 
This council meeting was called hastily as the anti-ecto laws had been passed recently and the GIW as well as the Fenton parents had become bolder in their pursuit of ghosts. The Fentons had almost captured one of Danny's rogues and it was too close of a call for the council to overlook. 
On top of that Dani was supposed to be coming home today. The young clone had taken to traveling the world as soon as she was free to. Her unstable nature had forced her home only a month after departing and it had taken months to convince Danny to let her go off alone again. Her destabilization had been easy to explain, as a clone she had been created without a ghost core and with continual use of her powers and no way to replenish her energy she had used her own body's ectoplasm to feed her powers. Frostbite was unsure if she would ever form her own core as her creation was unique but Danny had pushed. The idea Danny had come up with was to take a piece of his own core and give it to Dani, maybe jump-starting her own core cultivation in the process.
After defeating pariah dark Danny had begun absorbing his core, a way of proving his claim to the throne Frostbite had explained, and with it his own core had almost doubled in power. While unstable itself as it was still settling into its new power, it was possible to take a sliver and still keep the core at a healthy level. If Danny pushed for a bigger piece than strictly necessary, well no one but Frostbite would ever know that.
The council had rioted at another ghost having a piece of the king's core, it was usual for families to share cores in times of need but a king having a royal family was unheard of. Some of the council was against it all together and some were quick to try and coronate Dani a princess. Danny did his best to shield her from the council and made her promise to visit at least once every few months and call weekly. It had been a battle but Dani had accepted conditions as well as a phone Tucker had made for her. Then she was off, traveling the world and bringing back souvenirs and stories. 
A couple years had passed like that and they had finally settled into a comfortable rhythm. A rhythm rudely interrupted by Danny’s looming birthday and his parents lack of self control. He was supposed to be at Sam’s house, ready to hug Dani when she arrived and with a whole day of movie marathons and nachos planned. Instead he was stuck pacing his entrance hall as Sam kept him updated on the happenings in the living realm. 
“Your majesty,” Frostbite rumbled, “perhaps it is time you enter the council’s chamber. An intermission can only last so long.”
The monarch hummed but didnt stop pacing. Every turn caused his layered cape to billow behind him in a strange way, as if it was floating underwater rather than being manipulated by wind. The king's crown had dulled from a fiery bonfire into a thin misty glow that wrapped in a circle over his head. Jazz would tease him for it, ‘It looks like the aurora borealis, your love of the sky bleeds into everything doesn't it?’ and she was right, though he would never admit it. Even as he combed his hand through his hair and the crown, the misty fire dissipating around his hand before gathering again, it still twinkled as if far away stars were shining in the crowns light. 
Danny spared little thought to his regalia as he paced. A wave of dread had come over him midway through the arguing and he had called a pause so they could recollect themselves. He had tried to check in with Sam but she wasn't responding. He had heard nothing from Dani either and something deep within him was screaming something was wrong. He couldn't abandon a council meeting on a hunch and honestly it was one of the few times he didn't want to have to abandon the council meeting. If only because it would mean nothing was wrong.
Dani had had some close calls over the years and while she had really come into her powers she wasn't as strong as Danny and the one time she had been hit by Maddie Fenton still held fresh in Danny’s mind.
His phone buzzed.
Sam had replied.
Eco-Terrorist: We cant find Dani
It was the only message Danny needed before he was off. Ripping a hole in the dimension himself as he crossed back to his preferred plane. He barely noticed Frostbites thoughtful hum as he moved to bring the news of the king's departure to the council.
The precious seconds Danny took to arrive at Sam’s house were spent spiraling as to all the worst things that could have happened. The fear doubled as he stepped through Sam’s wall to find her holding Dani’s phone and pacing herself. Tucker sat at the desk scouring what looked like security cameras on his laptop as Danny popped back into view.
If Sam yelped it was only because she was too stressed to try and cover it up.
“We found her phone in Amity Park, she hadn't been responding and it had been almost an hour since she was supposed to show up.” Sam stressed, she was flexing her hands around the phone. 
“Since she usually messages us if she is going to be late we decided to check if everything was alright. When we saw she was in the park and hadnt move in a while. We left immediately.” Tucker added. He had a wobble to his voice and a shine to his eyes. Danny gritted his teeth. “All we found was this.” Sam said as she threw Dani’s phone on the bed as if it had personally been the thing to commit the crime and went back to pacing, flexing her hands in and out of fists.
“Do we have any security footage that might help?” Danny asked. 
“Ive been looking but the park doesnt have much cctv except around the perimeter or playground. Its been useless. All Ive seen is the Fenton-mobile.” Tucker paused, Danny could hear him swallow as the same thought passed through all their heads. “You… you dont think…” 
“Ill go check the lab.” Danny said before he vanished. Already making his way through town as Sam and Tucker raced to follow him. 
It didnt take long for Danny to make it to his house, the ghost shields were down but the Fenton-mobile was nowhere to be seen. It gave Danny little hope but he made his way down to the basement, transforming into his human form just in case. He made his way through his kitchen and down the stairs where he looked into the lab and into his worst fear.
Dani lay still on a metal table, restraints on her arms and legs and waist as a trickle of ectoplasm dripped from her left arm onto the floor. She wasnt even in her ghost form. He jumped the stairs and made it to her in two strides. 
“Dani? Can you hear me?” Her head was lolled to the side but her eyes were open, if only barely. She blinked and squirmed slightly, making a grumbling sound before going still again. She was alive, likely drugged, definitely bleeding out. Her arm had a gash in it and two tubes attached to needles lay on the floor beside her. The tubes were tangled and thrown about, as if someone had tripped on them and then let them be. Rage bubbled within Danny but he forced himself to focus. He would not let Dani bleed out because he was too busy seething at his parents. He grabbed whatever he could use as medical supplies and wrapped Dani’s arm before trying to break her restraint.
Electricity coursed through him and he cursed. Refusing to let panic take over he turned to his parents computer instead. There had to be something that could undo the restraints and regardless he had to wipe whatever information they had on Dani. What he found was a conversation log of Maddie Fenton and an Agent W discussing payment and proper handover specifications for a ‘perfect specimen’ Maddie had found. The money was staggering and Danny’s rage almost made him crush the mouse he was holding. 
At one point, Sam had offered up the idea of destroying the lab and joining Jazz at Gotham U where she had chosen to go for college. They had toyed with the idea, saying it was for the future or it was a last resort, but ultimately never gone through with it. It was a bad idea to drag a meta equivalent to Gotham and in all honesty, Danny wasnt comfortable leaving Amity. He hated leaving the town limits even if necessary, he couldnt imagine choosing to live somewhere else. But right now, staring at his bleary, injured, unstable sister, he decided he would have to. 
His rogues would be pissed and he didnt really have a solid plan but he refused to let this happen again. To anyone.
It was little hassle to find the unlock to the restraints and erase the computer completely. His parents didn't trust the cloud and the physical copies they had would be lost in the fire. Tucker had copies of everything anyway. Dani moved to sit up but really only managed to roll off the table. Danny caught and he shared some of his ectoplasm to try and help her heal. It wasnt much but she started to regain lucidity.
“Danny?” she whispered and Danny hummed in response. Their cores hummed at each other, the harmony encouraging her healing. A boom rattled the building, it was far away but it snapped Danny back to the present. They didnt have time to sit there, he didnt know when his parents would be back and he needed to leave. 
He laid Dani on the floor as he went around and dismantled as many things as he could, leaving the vulnerable pieces in the open. Finally he turned to take the ectoplasm filter that powered the entire house. When he ripped it off its mantle alarms started blaring and he turned and grabbed Dani, hauling her up into his arms as he ran up the stairs. He heard her giggle something about bumpy rides and he was out the door and barrelling towards his beat up car parked across the street. 
Jazz had given it to him for his sixteenth birthday. Apparently she had originally planned to buy it for herself for her move to Gotham but Sam had managed to convince her parents to buy Jazz a brand new car. Something about the public transportation system being dangerous and it being the first thing Sam had asked for that had been manageable. It was beat up and an old red but Danny loved the car and used it often. He worried he would have had to keep his parents away from it, in case they try and ghost proof it but they never even noticed it. He parked it across the street and they just assumed it was the neighbors. No one had lived in the houses around them for years.
He shoved Dani into the passenger side before hoping the hood and sliding into the drivers seat. He didnt know he could do that.
Shoving his key into the ignition the engine roared to life. He managed to get down the street before his house exploded. The shockwave sent the car forward and he managed to catch Dani’s head before it met the dash. His windows rattled but none of them broke, a small victory he thought. 
His mind flashed to all the things he had had in his room, his home. His memories, his souvenirs from Dani, all his space and nasa memorabilia, all his clothes and any pictures he thought were important. His family, his friends, his school, his only solid portal to the Infinite Realm. 
His emergency supplies.
“Fuck.” he whispered as he kept driving. Dani giggled and said something like ‘language’ but Danny was too busy swerving through traffic to hear her. His phone buzzed and he jolted, he maneuvered to pull it from his pocket as he tried to check it only to barely miss an oncoming car and drop it into the footwell of Dani’s seat. He cursed again and kept driving. He wasnt going to stop until he was well and out of Amity. He focused on driving and harmonizing with Dani as he drove. 
As they raced across Amity his core began to pulse with panic. The lingering pain from losing his home exploding into waves of fear.
He wasnt stopping. The pulsing grew more intense and Dani whimpered in her sleep. He tried to calm down but something felt so intrinsically wrong with leaving and his core felt like it was going to burst.
The pressure grew as they got closer and closer to Amity’s border and as they crossed it something in Danny popped. 
He almost blacked out from the pain. The car swerving as he tried to regain control of himself. Something had broken and it felt like he was tilted on an axis. He could barely see and was forced to pull over. His breathes came in short painful gasps and he bit back a scream. He was trying to ride through the pain when his phone rang. Grasping for it he picked up and brought it to his ear.
“Danny? We saw the explosion, are you ok? Did you find Dani?” Sam said, crackling over the phone.
“Mhm. Dani is with me. We are going to Gotham.” Pain cracked his voice as he struggled to breathe. “ ‘s not safe. Need Jazz.” Was all he could manage before he was heaving.
“Danny! Stay where you are. We have ectoshots with us and we can-” Sam was cut off by an explosion behind Danny’s car. He whipped around to see a white van crashing through traffic. Danny slammed his foot on the gas and turned back to the road. The pain in his chest dulled as his desperation to protect Dani slammed back in full force. 
“Meet. In. Gotham.” Was all he could growl before he hung up the phone and drove in what he hoped was the direction north east. 
~~
currently obsessing over dpxdc shenanigans
I just love seeing danny act like a cornered animal
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I imagine barnaby trying to be all cool and flirting with howyd subtly but his smoke gives him away fjsns
he thinks he's smooth smh...
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cat-eg · 1 year
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spacepatrolhana · 1 year
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shane vs the world ?!?!??!
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lovefrombegonia · 5 months
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Shen Jiu should make dark jokes about his time as a slave but no one gets the jokes coz everyone thinks he is a spoilt young lord from a noble family.
(Except, Yue Qingyuan. He gets it. He is currently screaming, wailing inside coz sometimes SJ is a bit too detailed JUST to make him feel even MORE guilty.)
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 year
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He dies if you don't pay attention to him, its a very urgent situation for an uncle to attend to.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
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mugentakeda · 2 months
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the lu ten+zhao toxic exes masterpost (context cus I know this is nonsensical: I read a fic once that hc lu ten and zhao both studied under jeongjeong together. I just took that concept and ran far far away with it- in my dai li lu ten au, lu ten's ""death"" was a set up orchestrated by ozai- carried out first by zhao, then finished by long feng and his men. zhao was chosen by ozai in secret specifically due to his unique history with lu ten, and because of his obviously ambitious nature. zhao helping set the trap by luring lu ten in to the earthbenders was zhao's first big step towards favor with ozai)
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lemonandlime22 · 4 months
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Randomly generated incorrect quotes pt 41 Obey me! (a couple were changed) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
out grocery shopping Raphael: takes a free sample twice Raphael: Robbery and Fraud. I am a Rebel.
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Thirteen: *coughs blood* Mc: Don't die, Thirteen! Thirteen: Don't tell me what to do!
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Solomon, proudly: I slept. Simeon: Is that so much of a rare thing that you have to say it?
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Satan: I’ve never smoked marijuana. I ate a brownie once at a party. It was intense. It was kind of indescribable. I felt like I was floating. Turns out there was no pot in the brownie. It was just an insanely good brownie.
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Mammon, about to leave the house: Don’t spend all day watching YouTube, okay? Little Levi: I FORGE MY OWN PATH!!
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Mephisto: Shouldn't get stressed out, it's not good for the baby. Thirteen: What baby? Mephisto, crying a bit: Me.
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Mc: Tommorrow's garbage day. Solomon: I can't believe they made a whole day dedicated to you.
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"And soda; runs off into the street..." "...and soda... is totally okay!"
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#cw blood#something something cracking open a boy w the cold ones#IF THERE ARE ANY MISTAKES I MISSED I SWWWEAR TO JEBEDIAH. IF I STARE AT THIS ANYMORE IM GONNA DIE IT NEEDS TO BE DONE#ALSO RRRAAAHAHHHGHGH CAN I JUST TAKEA SECOND TO SCREEAAMM ABT HOW MUCH I LOVE SODA AND EMIZEL.. LIKE THERYE SO CUTE....#THEY ARE HOMIES THAT KISS EACHOTHR GOODNIGHT. THEY CARE SO MUCH FOR EACHOTHER. SODA LOVES SODA AND SODA LOVES YOU#do u guys remember how willing he was to share blood w his vampire bestie. like cmon. remember when emizel memorized sodas Soda Schedule.#LIKE CMON.... they just have eachothers backs so much. ouhhh my god... ANYWAY SO THE ART HUH. I FEEL LIKE I SCRAMBLED W IT FOR A WHILE#DRAWIN IS HARD..... i think i did well in the end tho.. i like the lil heart beat effects. and i hope i made soda look Suffieciently Scared#i ALSO had fun w the teeth. i however did not have fun w the walls. if i had more drugs i mightve done every brick in more detail#but i didnt WANNA!!!! this will suffice.I HOPE IT FLOWS WELL&THAT ITS CLEAR... IVE STARED AT IT SO LONG IT IS NOW VISUAL SOUP. HELP!!!#i want my comics to have more Pauses and Space and Thought and Momence. i feel like normally they go so fast. but THIS time#i think i did good.... huuoouhhhh.... comics are HARD art is HARD but i am HARDER. or something. OH YEAH I HAVE MORE ART THINGS#soda was RLY HARD FOR ME TO DRAW FOR A MINUTE..but i like where his design is now. i wanted his hair to be curly swirly.like soda fizz#i THINK thats all my thoughts for now. if u have thoughts u should spill them in the tags i looooove reading tttaaggsss#have a goodnight i gotta go to work soon. maybe. unless the casinos power goes out AGAIN. OR SEOMTHING... UUGHHH MY SCHEDULE IS IN SHAMBLES#I THOUGHT I WAS WORKIN 3 DAYS INA ROW SO I RENTED A WHOLE DAMN HOTEL BC THE JOB PLACE IS FAR AWAY.. I HAD TO CANCEL THE WHOLE RESERVATOn#annd im MMMMAD ABOUT IT!!! like ill get over it ofc BUT IM PEEVED!!!! IM INCONVIENIENCED AND GENTLY AGGRIVATED. BUT OVERALL FINE.#hope yalls weekend goes well. sleep well. if u get the chance to.
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andoutofharm · 9 months
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pete spending so much time getting carried around by large men into the audience for saturday -> utterly unphased when travie just full body hugs him off the ground pipeline
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ash-and-starlight · 6 months
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new love language is sending links to pirated media
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mentallyillbutokay · 1 year
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𓆩♡𓆪
Mammon, in a high voice, holding Barbie: Hey Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!
Thirteen, in a deep voice, holding Ken: Nonsense, Barbie. you’re staying home and having my kids
MC: What the fuck are you guys doing?
Thirteen: Playing systemic oppression
𓆩♡𓆪
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