#only issue is that im not allo so—
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:( trying to figure out choice script is hard…
#too many things#im too adhd#I want to learn but can’t wrap my head around it#keeps giving me error messages#I just wanna make gender#let me crEATE GENDER#cog#wanna make an interactive fiction#cuz I got ideas#and some beautiful ocs that deserve the light of day#at the be romanced#only issue is that im not allo so—#idk how that will actually work if I do it—#but I want to
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kinda frustrating how so much aspec content (esp stuff published in like mainstream outlets) is literally just made for allos. like it’s always some article that’s just going over aspec 101 terminology and explaining various concepts and words aimed at a clearly allo audience.
i’m not saying those aren’t important because part of the issue aspecs face is how invisibilised we are and yes! it’s super important to raise awareness and let people know we exist! but it’s also kind of frustrating how it feels like 99% of not only our time but also all wider coverage about us is spent explaining our identities and giving ted talks to allos instead of like . discussing aspec issues and identity with any sort of depth or nuance.
Angela Chen (who wrote a book on asexuality) talked about thinking about aro/ace-ness not just as an identity but also a viewpoint or a ‘lens’ to examine issues through which i thought was interesting! like how does aro/ace identity intersect with our ideas of feminism, or of race? how does aromanticism inform our critique of the nuclear family and the institution of marriage?? how does asexuality play into our view of sexual politics? how does lovelessness deconstruct our ideas of ‘humanity’? there is so much to get into and so much ground that has never been covered but we are stuck!! on giving definitions!!
idk i don’t really have a solution here! because i know that on the one hand we need these kinds of articles that give streams of ‘aspec 101’ definitions because any visibility helps, but also i am so tired of having to dumb everything down instead of having actual discussions about aspec identities and what they can tell us. like hopefully we’ll get to a point eventually where we don’t have to do this but i’m still just. kinda tired :/
#aro#aromantic#aroace#asexual#ace#aspec#amatonormativity#leftist#sorry for this ranty post#also#this isn’t a slam on those articles btw !!! they’re important and absolutely have their place#im just tired of every single one being for allos and ONLY discussing the most basic concepts possible lol#it ends up leaving people with a very surface level understanding of a very complex community#and doesn’t really inform people about the issues that tangibly affect our lives#like compulsory sexuality and the pervasiveness of amatonormativity.#like if ur gonna talk about aros talk about amatonormativity. talk about relationship anarchy and qprs#talk about loveless aros + alloaros and not just aroaces and alloaces!#idk if I’m being 100% coherent and clear here sorry#tldr what im saying is that it’s frustrating how most discussion abt us is so surface level and doesn’t really get into anything beyond that#bc the aspec community has infinitely more to offer and is also infinitely more complex than presented in these articles
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Doodles to wind down from finals crunch ft. Nuclear winter throuple
#oc artwork#oc stuff#oc art#fennec.art#my art#fennec.origin#ocs#original art#they have so many issues... i love them dearly#i call this anti romance btw. you understand#technically sebastian is bisexual and allo BUT he experiences attraction so peculiarly it doesnt even fucking matter#he thinks in predetor/prey primal needs desires and fears he does not get butterflies or whatever#also that friendship is both joke and not their relationship is v v complex i put a lot of thought into it#aromanticism is not only incidental its a requirement for the framework of the story and the rest of you have to get accustomed to it#alright im dont ranting bye bye
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Im partnering aro and somehow that's still not enough for them
I've had partners say, to my face, that being aro and dating was abusive because i didn't love them enough. Even though i was extremely open about being aro when they first asked me out.
It's always the exact same
Person asks me out on a date, i say im aro but i enjoy dating so as long as they're cool dating an aro im cool, they agree, and then sometime later get pissy about it
Idk if they thought i was joking about being aro. Or like they thought i would change when entering the relationship. Or what
But being called abusive for something i cannot control, and for something i told them about up front is so shitty
I feel like part of it is the idea that being aromantic is just code for "commitment issues" or "taking it slow." like when you say "I do not experience romantic attraction so please don't date me if you aren't okay with this" what you really mean is "I am going to fall in love with you eventually and this is a promise, you just need to wait it out/wear me down." Like its only worth it if you eventually reveal you were normal the whole time, and if you don't end up being secretly allo then its somehow your fault for breaking the fantasy they had in their head.
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hihi! bit of a personal question so feel free not to answer, but what are your thoughts on getting platonically married and/or cohabitation? also (again dont have to answer if ur not comfortable lol) do u ever plan on having/adopting kids? im aro greyace and i havent rlly met any aspec people who also want to adopt/have kids at some point so im curious lol.
Actually yeah – I plan on both! My queerplatonic partner doesn't live in the same country as me and it's been taxing at times, I miss being close to them on days, and considering the laws, getting married would probably be the only way we can be physically together and stay together... So that's one thing. (Actually, even before realizing this practical aspect I was already having thoughts that I'd never considered marrying anyone but if I did, with them, it really wouldn't be bad at all 🙈)
Kids are also a long-term plan – my partner, who's also ace, wants to have kids in the future, and personally I'm not opposed to the idea. I love interacting with kids (in a non-creepy way obviously, just, they're so much more open-minded and less full of bullshit than adults, it can be so interesting to spend time with them, teach them things and learn other things from them), my only fear is that I wouldn't be a good parent and would do something wrong that'd make them suffer. But... I don't know, maybe having that fear is a good sign that at least I'll be careful? idk
My parents are allo, hetero people and they got divorced after one cheated on the other and resentment piled up for years and we had to bear witness to it. That sucked big time. I was scared of dinnertime and got so angry for the sake of my little brothers who suffered more than me due to being younger and possibly seeing it coming less. In a way, being in a queerplatonic relationship erases a lot of that fear for me and my partner. If they become romantically involved with someone at some point, considering my aro brain, I don't think I'll resent them, I'll just be like "fair enough as long as they're happy". I feel that in itself might avoid a lot of behavioral issues I've had to take from my folks. Also, just... I feel there's less risk of "cheating" to begin with because there's less risk of frustration at "the sex not being good anymore" – since we don't have it. I don't wanna put allosexuals in boxes or say this is the only problem that can lead to couples separating, FAR from it. But I just know I've heard some people citing that as a reason for couple problems, so... Yeah, y'know. That's one risk we don't have.
...I don't know, maybe I'm overly optimistic over things. Which is kinda rare for me. But in any case I hope this can be helpful and bring reassurance^^
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fun ask thing: what r some of your fantasy high hcs cus im missing them and you ALWAYS have good ones
WOO thank u for asking this i love this question
-there are rips in gorgugs hoodie from riz biting it while trying to stay calm when they’re spying on someone. gorgug lets him bc i mean its better than him vomiting
-the girls try to have a “girls only” sleepover sometime, just for the teenage tradition of it, but they always end up just calling everyone else to hang out anyways. gorgug likes getting his nails painted :]
-riz gets kind of overwhelmed sometimes at the prospect of being on social media and so as a kind of half compromise half joke they always slightly blur riz out of photos and he becomes to be known as the Cryptid™️ of the bad kids online, and he loves it.
-whenever kristen gets stressed or just needs to do something with her hands, she makes friendship bracelets. this has led to every bad kid wearing at least four at all times, as well as more tied onto their backpacks.
-ayda doesn’t super understand what qualifies as a date and fig has just kinda been like “whenever we’re alone together and you want it to be!” so since ayda doesnt like going on a lot of the traditional sort of dates (bc most are in public places which is. overwhelming) they’ll just hang out together normally as they are and then when they part ways ayda will always go “thank you for the date :]”
-gorgug helps design the album covers and merch for the band bc he likes drawing !
-a lot of aelwyn’s journey to continue her redemption is intertwined with the acceptance of what has changed about her, both physically and mentally. i think a big thing she has to reckon with is having chronic fatigue and pain and sometimes needing to rely on other people because of that. it helps strengthen her bond with adaine as they both learn to live with their respective issues and make sure the other is okay
-boggy and g.a.f hang out together . they are besties.
-jawbone also starts doing sex ed at their school and he makes sure to talk a lil about asexuality and that’s when both riz and adaine are like oh theres a word for that …
-on the rare-ish days where the other bad kids are busy (maybe w their respective partners) adaine and riz will get together to have their annual Bitch About Allos sessions where they just rant to each other about how little sense attraction makes. they go to basrars and get ice cream and it is absolutely cathartic
-kristen seems like the type to start an etsy shop. idk i think she could sell bracelets or maybe like those lesbian-style earrings. i feel like she’d wear some funky earrings sometimes.
#fantasy high#dim 20#dimension 20#asks#ayda aguefort#kristen applebees#riz gukgak#adaine abernant#aelwyn abernant#gorgug thistlespring#fig faeth#jawbone
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hi i’m having an issue and i though maybe you could help, or at least try to give me some advice
i absolutely HATE when dudes in my classes are like “ooooh you have a crush on (some dude) because you spoke about him/talk to him/defended him for something” because no i don’t. and my only response that’ll get them to leave me alone is “no, im gay” because im not going to explain myself to someone like that (who definitely wouldn’t understand, or might think im invalid), but THEN they think im lesbian (just to clarify, im not lesbian) so now everyone thinks i like girls when yea, kinda, but not as much as they think. on top of ALL of this, them thinking im a lesbian corresponds to me being perceived as a woman, even though i do not identify that way, and its really degrading to my self esteem and causing me to feel generally like shit, like i am a woman and will always be a woman, even though im very not.
but back to whatever ramblings i was doing before. i use the label omni-gray-aroace, meaning that i feel little to no romantic and sexual attraction (in my case, very little). i use omni as well because with my very little to no sexual/romantic attraction and tertiary attraction i also have a preference for guys (or more male aligned people). so if i was to ever date (probably not) or be in a qpr (most likely) with ANY dude involved then i feel like im a liar, and that im a terrible person for being a liar.
i’ve tried asking my friends for help and advice, but all but two of them are allo and don’t understand my identity and wouldn’t know how to help, and the two that aren’t allo have no idea how to help me, because they don’t understand how i identify either.
(note: all of my friends are very VERY accepting of me and my identity, but they all just don’t understand the labels i use and don’t know how to research them. i’ve also tried explaining to them personally, but they still don’t quite understand.)
so now i have no idea how to feel or how to get myself out of this hole im in. i would really appreciate help, or any advice you could try to give me, because at this point anything could help.
thanks
my advice for the people in your classes would be to stop telling them you’re gay. it doesn’t seem to fix the problem and seems to hurt you more than it solves anything. if you can, just ignore them, since they’re most likely just doing it to get a reaction, and ignoring them will often make them stop. obviously this is easier said than done, but giving it a try might help you feel less uncomfortable & help with being perceived as a woman.
as for feeling like a liar, having a qpr or relationship with a guy wouldn’t make you a liar since you said you are attracted to men more than other genders.
you could try explaining your identity to your friends by explaining what omnisexual/romantic is first. tell them it means you can be attracted to all genders but that you prefer men & male-aligned people. then you could try saying that you’re omni but you just rarely feel any attraction at all. i hope any of this help, feel free to send in another ask if you want any more advice or just need to vent!
#our aroace experience#aroace asks#aromantic#asexual#aroace#aro#ace#omnisexual#omniromantic#greyromantic#greysexual#advice#long post
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sometimes i wish i could be properly horny. im aegosexual (kind of?) and have high libido so i like, often WANT to do sexual stuff, but my brain is so ace it gets bored immediately. it's kind of like when im aching to draw and i have all the motivation and energy and then the only thing I can muster is just a few circles. like. almost like executive dysfunction but for like...ideas and imagination. just can't hold on to it.
like im not saying i wish i were allo or that id be happier if i were allo but it's kind of like... i wish my brain could pick a lane????? either i should be horny or not, right???? but no instead i often find myself in this high libido state where i WANT to be horny but then literally nothing makes me actually horny. like it just culminates in this halfhearted "meh". drives me crazy. i think id enjoy being horny if i actually could be, but id also just be fine if my libido dropped off the face of the earth and left me alone too.
and i know aces CAN be horny and this isn't an issue exclusive to aces but i think in my case this is tied to my asexuality. i guess im just the kind of person that can't get off comfortably without attraction, and there's just nothing there. beugh.
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i watched heartstopper s2 because i was an avid osemanverse enjoyer in my early teen years (back when alice oseman still had anons on rip) and owe some of my aspec self-discovery to their writing. i knew they had written an aroace storyline into this series and wanted to see it because whilst i knew as an aroallo lesbian i wouldn’t totally resonate and might be a bit cheesed off by aspects of it, i enjoy aromantic crumbs, and i enjoy discussing aspec Stuff even more. it was……. an interesting experience? has certainly given me a lot to think about. gushy rant below the cut :)
i will say, i think that the amatonormativity is still strong, and rigid in this show. it’s like, isaac is the exception to the rule and his true love is books, and he gets to yell at his friends for all being so damn couple-y and romance-obsessed but there’s no resolution to that. is that realistic? yeah, sure, allo friends can fucking suck, but heartstopper is the kind of show aiming to do certain things for queer kids where id expect a dialogue about this. you know, charlie & co coming to understand aspec identities and becoming more conscious of how amatonormativity affects them, interrogating it in such a way that these queer couples can also be liberated from its trappings. juicy shit like that. didnt happen tho. isaac gets a book about asexuality (no mention of aromanticism on its cover!!! the word is used by the artist who vaguely explains both terms to isaac, but there is a much greater focus on asexuality, so much so that this morning i saw pink fucking news celebrating isaac’s asexual storyline without a mention of his aromanticism) and that’s it.
a lot of that criticism is arguably coloured by my experience as an aroallo person, because i just want aromanticism to be engaged with as aromanticism. you know aroaces we are besties in arms solidarity and all that, and im so fucking happy you got some great asexual rep that frequently used the word asexual, as well as your flag and iconography. like fuck yeah!!!!!! let’s go!!!!!! however, aromanticism is not a subset of asexuality, is not an ‘extreme form’ of asexuality, does not necessarily have anything to do with asexuality. im sure the aspec folks know this, but allo fuckers dont and that means that this canonically aromantic character who was emotionally affecting to me is one that im gonna be barred from resonating with again and again.
you know, moments of isaac’s story were so profound and moving for me. i cried at the kiss scene in episode 5, it was probably the single most relatable moment of tv (related to my experiences with sexuality) that ive ever seen. its certainly not my favourite tv moment of all time lol, relatability ≠ quality, but when youre part of a marginalised group and experience a lot of loneliness and alienation surrounding your identity it is great to see it reflected. i honestly loved that shit!!!!! ive been there!!!! that’s me!!!!!! the wanting and the not wanting!!! the jealousy and confusion and alienation, the longing to be able to feel what you can’t just so you don’t have to be so lonely, the knowledge that you’re just not that person…… oh it was great. it was fucking great. so you can maybe appreciate how upsetting it is for other people to neglect the aromantic facets of this canonically aromantic character, when we dont get shit.
having said that, asexuals also dont get shit; my issue is absolutely not with isaac being aroace, but rather with how mainstream understanding of aspec identities is still so piss poor that people neglect the aromantic aspect of that identity. i found isaac to be a relatable character and i enjoyed and appreciated that about him; i wish more people would talk about him being both asexual and aromantic, because aromanticism does not get talked about enough as anything other than an ‘extension’ of asexuality, an idea which only diminishes the complexity and vastness of both (fucking awesome and beautiful) identities. love and light and solidarity forever with all other aspec folk <3
#im not tagging this as anythjng lol this was just for me hence the cut#i am once again riddled with osemanverse opinions#shut up daisy
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this has literally been occupying my mind for the past six days but i just. i hate it how aromanticism is so unknown that people assume all aros are ace. i hate it that when i talk about amatonormativity and then mention allos in the same sentence people assume i’m getting pissy because i’m ace. i’m literally not ace. not even that but i’m so so so outspoken about aro issues and only ever really talk about ace stuff when someone else brings it up or when it’s directly related to something else. i can’t talk about an aromantic coded character being made into a romance obsessed allo in an adaptation without people coming into my dms like “why does x have to be ace” im SICK OF IT
#aro#i fucking hate amatonormativity#vent#arophobia#aromisia#this post brought to you by me spending hours today ironing eras tour merch for my family so it wouldnt crack#there is soooooo much time to think when ur ironing clothing for hours#ok to reblog
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okay! My aro and or ace headcannons:
dr who (of any regeneration but i stared believing with the 10th) as fully asexual, sex neutral, not quite replused but is like whats the hype? Humans are weird. I also comsider him somewhere in the demiromantic, greyromantic sides of things. I wasnt mad when he was put in romantic relationships, but i dont think hes the type to often seek them out. (Paired with abandonment issues i dont think he ever needs a romantic parter (like do allos think they need a romantic partner??? Idk))
Sherlock (from bbc sherlock) idk if this is self explanatory or not i guess not since ive seen a lot of johnlock stuff in my time lol. But like he is confused by every concepr of sex and romance. Like he used someones crushe on him as a manipulation tactic. Doesnt often see how what he does hurts those with crushes on him. And like he is neurodivgent so i dont want to say he is aroace because of that, but it certaintly shouldnt take awah just how aro ace i see him. (Also fuck john for his causual anormativity in that show. Blatantly horrible)
aziraphale and crowley from good omens as asexual just cuz they dont need it. Theyre relationship is levels of queer, and in their relationship i dont think they need or want sexual intamacy.
muriel also from good omens as aroace. They are just innocent to me. But not to imply the idea that innocence=lack of sexual/romantic attractjon and or desire. I just dont think it suits them.
frenchie from ofmd, newest headcannon, he just never shows any interest? And i love that? Doesnt care about any of it. Is like yea okay, will politely decline anything
the corinthean from the sandman (tv) as aroallo. I can only exsplain this as he is a bisexual slut to me. Murderer who is a babygirl. He isnt intrested in romance but is (in the nicest way, not deragatory or anything) a slut. Will fuck around (and find out)
will graham from hannibal as heteroromantic, homosexual. Idk if this counts, just his romantic and sexual attraction dont line up, so he is aromantic toward men and asexual toward women.
lazlo from wwdits as bisexual/polyamorus (thats cannon but also) aromantic in some way. He doesnt have romantic attraction when he hooks up with someone, only has romantic toward nadja (his wife) .
collin robinson from wwdits as ace/aro flux i cant explain this one. He just is.
captian jack from dr who/torchwood. Cannonically bisexual but to me he is biromantic and homosexual. Agian idk if this counts. Its just not what i would consider an alloromantic exsperience to have split attractions.
theres probably more that im forgetting but heres the list for my more recently watched shows.
This is a 10/10 list and I fully believe them all now even tho I don’t belong to half of these fandoms
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As another non-split aroace, you're so correct for saying that we're treated as the punching bags of both aro and ace communities. Like if y'all can accept and support straight aros and aces but are hostile towards aroaces, you're just aphobic. Yes even if you're aro/ace yourself. Aro spaces nowadays literally have the same attitude towards aroaces that exclusionists used to have towards asexuals, that we're weird freaks bringing purity culture into their "safe" communities just by existing and therefore need to be pushed out. And ace spaces still act like we're the bad guys and need to be pushed out of their "safe" communities because we can't romantically love other people, which makes us heartless monsters apparently. It's just exhausting. I've never seen aroaces being so hostile towards non-ace aros and non-aro aces, we're always trying to uplift their voices and bring awareness to their issues. But the moment we try to talk about our own issues in aromantic or asexual spaces we're told to shut up and let them speak over us because we somehow have it better than them. Not to mention the pressure to split your experiences into aro vs ace and prioritise one part of your identity over the other if you want to be taken seriously in those spaces. Like sorry but for some of us our aroaceness is interwined not split. But we're still aros and aces, still a part of your community. Stop trying to push us out of our own communities on the basis of aphobic stereotypes.
Honestly I've been kinda biting my tongue on it for a while because I understand why Aro and Ace ppl have been trying to separate the communities. it can be frustrating to constantly be paired with an identity that you don't relate to - but i feel like so many ppl have taken it way to far. They've taken the relatively understandable stance of "Aromantic and Asexual are not the same identity" and pushed it to the extreme of "Aro and Ace are so completely different they have nothing in common and NO overlap" and the worst part is i don't think anyone has particularly noticed.
Idk I was most active in the aro and ace communities when we still kinda shared communities. the idea that aro and ace were separate was still a thing (hell, aroaces were the ones helping to push that distinction. we wanted people to recognize our aro identities too, yknow.) but we recognized the overlap and similarities and supported each other... now it just feels like im seeing post after post reminding people not every aro or ace person is aroace and that people shouldt tag aro posts as ace and vice versa and "no ace people cant relate to aro experiences" "no aro people cant relate to ace experiences" because "They are so different they are completely not the same and don't have any overlapping problems at all" and as an aroace it sucks!
it sucks feeling forgotten in my own communities.
It's almost feeling like they are blaming us for there being this idea that people are are Ace must also be aro and people who are aro must also be ace. Like they know they cant get mad at the allos so they get mad at aroaces and act like we are the reason allos think this way. It's like aroaceness is only brought up to talk about how "Not everyone is aroace" or "aroace characters are so much more prevalent in media (Proceeds to only talk about ace characters)" or how aroace ppl must have an identity that means more to them - how their aro or ace identity must be more important or effect them more because they can't possibly intertwined and overlap and "hey you tagged your post with aro and ace tags but obviously its only about aromanticism/only about asexuality so remove some of those tags because it's annoying me"
or worse I see aromantics being acephobic or asexuals being arophobic and it's like.... where do i fit in?
people think aroace ppl ran both communities as 1 community and they say it was bad and that we need to separate - but from my perspective it was two communities who worked together. the only difference now is that aroace ppl are getting pushed to the side. thrown under the bus. "you dont need rep you have tons of rep. society loves giving aroace rep!" and "not everyone is aroace. you're experience isn't universal and so you shouldn't talk about it"
Aroace voices just got smaller. we got quieter. because our own communities decided we were privileged. we were more accepted than they were. or worse that we were actually the real freaks for not feeling both sexual and romantic attraction. we weren't palatable enough - there was nothing that could be used to normalize us. and besides, it was easier to just only fight for one set of rights, right?
and part of me understands it. it sucks. it sucks to always be a footnote. but guess what - aro and aces and aroaces are footnotes of the queer community. we're stuck here together and instead we're fighting over who's the more important footnote. we are all in the same boat and we're acting like we're not and trying to sink the ship forgetting we're all on it together.
#asks#and to be clear this isn't saying that other aspecs asking for rep or asking for recognition is a bad thing that was never the issue#it's not about how aroallo people or alloace ppl are bad or evil or oppressors#this isn't about how arospec or acespec people are all actually out to get aroace people#this is about an experience aroace people sometimes have within aro and ace spaces because certain aros and aces decide we aren't worthy#because certain aros and aces decide we dont belong#anyways sorry this took so long to answer I was trying to word it in a way that was understandable#and hopefully in a way ppl wouldnt misinterpret#but then i realized ppl who have bad faith will purposefully do that#so i shouldn't worry too much#ppl who look at it in good faith will have a conversation with me. ppl who look at it in bad faith are just the people im talking about.
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JANE AUSTEN RANKED BY YOURS TRULY
hi :]
it is done. I've read it all (*kicks Lady Susan under a rug*) what was that?
anyways
after seven whole months i come to you with the objectively correct ranking of JA main novels, heroines, and heroes
i will not be taking any criticism
let's begin then
on the line today we have
Northanger Abbey with contestants Catherine Morland and Henry Tilney
Sense and Sensibility's Elinor and Marianne Dashwood, Edward Ferrars and Colonel Brandon
Emma's own Emma Woodhouse, George Knightley and Frank Churchill
Persuasion bringing Anne Eliot and Captain Wentworth
and Mansfield Park's Fanny Price, Edmund Bertram and Henry Crawford
v what do you mean Frank and Henry they aren't Heroes why are you ranking them?
well because I can and want to
v what about Pride and Prejudice?
i can't be objective about it or Darcy or Lizzy. it would be unfair to everyone else. tho you are right I will be ranking Charles Bingley I have things to say about the man
cool? cool
THE NOVELS
yes i will only be ranking the main novels (and no lady susan because i dont want to reread it)
LOVED THEM TIER
EMMA
i did not want this book to end, i was having the time of my life. it's just. so good
reading it knowing what is going on was a delightful experience
i love emma and knightley so much
maple grove should burn to the ground. for my sanity
NORTHANGER ABBEY
Catherine carried this book that's all I gotta say
coming of age story but make it the 19th century
below Emma because I can take reading about Maple Grove but not hearing the Thorpes speak
I JUST THINK THEY ARE NEAT :]
SENSE AND SENSIBILITY
I just. think it's neat
I really have nothing else to say. I was invested, I felt for Elinor, and Marianne's evolution was 10/10
fuck John Dashwood for cutting down that tree
IM SORRY JANE (aka the Fail Love Interest Syndrome)
PERSUASION
i was a little bored ngl
did like Anne well enough tho
also. that piano scene. thanks I hate it. it will haunt me for the rest of my life
MANSFIELD PARK
Mary and Edmund ruined this for me in the way that they represent everything wrong with the allos and in the way that i wanted to slap them both out of their nonsense
i also didn't connect much with Fanny so :/
HEROINES
no tiers, just ranking them :]
EMMA (Emma)
I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER
Emma never change
she's so wrong all the time and I love her so much
<3
CATHERINE (NA)
MY GIRL
she's aggressively 17 (affectionate)
a DELIGHT
she grows so much 😭😭😭 im so proud of her
she will be an amazing adult
ELINOR (S&S)
it's the eldest daughter hardship for me
she puts up with so much bullshit from everyone around her
deserves a paid vacation, the right to murder people, and a nap, not necessarily in that order
lowkey carried
MARIANNE (S&S)
I will be the first to admit that I disliked her at first because she was aggressively 17 (derogatory)
but she !!!!! grows so much !!!!!! im so proud of her
always championed her older sister when no one else would and for that i gotta love her
ANNE (Persuasion)
suffers from FLIS (fail love interest syndrome)
girl it's been 8 years supéralo
also puts up with so much the sad bitch I do love her
FANNY (MP)
FLIS
had the chance of marrying Henry but didn't take it (like. I get why. but I'd respect her more for being a I Can Fix It Girlie than settling for the piece of wet bread that's Edumnd)
did not connect with her at all sorry bestie :(
HEROES (and then some)
i will put them into tiers. because I have Issues with most of them. also im judging them solely on how they relate to their Heroine that's the only worth they have to me
FAULTLESS
KNIGHTLEY (Emma - Emma)
what can I say he had impeccable chemistry with Emma
they were married from page 1
he truly cares for her and to make her improve as a person and I love him
COOL DUDE
EDWARD (S&S - Elinor)
my guy
had a scene with big brother energy with Marianne and I was sold
could use a little bit more Standing Up For Your Future Happiness but it's in character so I'll give him a pass
HENRY (NA - Catherine)
he's said to be the best Austen men and while I get why I just. he just wasn't giving to me
but yeah good to Catherine, amazing brother to his sister, knows feminine interests, amiable, etc
suffers from NA was the first book i read back in may so i dont remember much of his moments
LITTLE SHIT <3
CRAWFORD (NA)
my fail boy
the one plot point I enjoyed
let's point and laugh at the flirt that falls in love with the mildest girl ever who dislikes him and then when he's refused has an affair with a married woman
way to go bud ily
FRANK CHURCHILL (Emma)
he's such a piece of shit
was very fun to read
Jane should dump him tho he doesn't deserve her
I'LL BE WATCHING YOU, BUD
BINGLEY (P&P - Jane)
DARCY'S NOT THE BOSS OF YOU, MAN
can't be mad at him for long because of the puppy energy he has tho
BUT MAN THAT WAS ALMOST A YEAR'S ABSENCE YOU GOT AWAY WITH
COLONEL BRANDON (S&S - Marianne)
MY DUDE. WHY DIDN'T YOU SPILL THE TEA SOONER
oh yeah I'll let this Confirmed Rake keep courting the woman I'm in love with while everyone expects them to be either engaged or about to be as I know he's literally the worst, make sense
i just can't wrap my head around it
BOOOOOOO (FLIS)
CAPTAIN WENTWORTH (Persuasion - Louisa Anne)
more like captain failworth
people love this man and I just don't get it
MAN IT'S BEEN 8 YEARS. GET OVER IT
he's spiteful and resentful towards Anne when she did was she had to idk dude grow tf up
almost gets trapped in a marriage with a silly girl because he's dumb (good thing the girl is silly and jumped off a cliff so he could run back to anne) (that's an exaggeration but basically)
your only point of redemption is that by marrying you Anne gets out of the toxic environment she was in
EDMUND (NA - Mary Fanny)
imagine a glass of water. imagine that glass of water under the sun. not just any sun, no, a good midday August Spanish sun. imagine now a piece of bread. good. put that piece of bread inside the glass of water. that's this guy to me
all holier than thou but then spends 98% of the novel thinking with his dick
i. hate him.
takes fanny for granted
marries fanny because it's convenient (AND IN LIKE. THE THIRD TO LAST PARAGRAPH WHEN IN THE PREVIOUS PARAGRAPH HE WAS STILL COMPLAINING ABOUT MARY!!!!!! DUDE!!!!!!)
he's the worst
everyone that sucked gets punished but him
i want to personally kill this man
and that was basically it thanks for coming with me in this journey wow that was fun
hi @my-cursed-prince
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so um
i've been thinking (a lot) and i realized that the word friend doesn't mean shit. like honestly i feel like the label "friend" or "best friend" gets thrown around a lot and if you use that word with someone then they're supposed to be like better than the rest of your friends idk? this is kind of my opinion since my quote-unquote best friend uses it a lot because we spend more time together then anyone else.
and i think that's fair. honestly i never really thought about it much until now, because that kind of best friend does not equal the level of trust that i think a best friend would share with you.
this makes no sense right now and i don't have any fucking idea why im writing it because no one will take the ten minutes to read this and actually understand it
like i think the only best friendship I've ever been able to see is aled and frances. like they're honestly so comfortable and open with each other and would do anything for each other which is allonormatively considered a couple-y thing when its not- its just trust. and platonic love. which is important for everyone, but i think people on the aromantic/asexual spectrum find it especially important.
because tbh my "best friend" doesn't feel like someone i'd be able to trust. she makes me feel kind of uncomfortable. shes suffocating. it feels like she cares but it feels like she's fake. idk- my mom said sometimes in relationships there's always a part where it feels kind of weird or boring, but i feel like this is different... idk. enough about my dumb life.
and that is why i think im so fucking fed up with life, because love is so important (if aplatonic-aro people exist, you are excluded from this. keep rocking). and ever since my life went restart because of le covid ✨ i lost like 99%. of the people i could talk to. now the only people i have left are my parents, who have issues mainly with each other, my 6 closest friends, and that fake bestie lol.
so... yeah. love. its important. honestly i feel like you could be popular and have 50 billion friends but if you didn't love anyone you'd feel like shit and want to die. and its not your fault if you do, and its not really anyones' fault unless they just hate you, in which case it is their fault and i will come over and punch them for you :)
without any of that platonic or romantic love? you feel empty. i feel empty. i hate it so bad. i only feel good when I'm with people, people that haven't broken my trust or pushed the limit with me, just people that generally give off good vibes. the best kind of people are the people that you can have silences with and it not feeling awkward as hell.
thats why i want to crush on someone, bc romantic relationships already include this kind of thing. but the allo people I'm surrounded with do not fucking understand; they never will, unless they find my tumblr account, which will never happen, because they don't give a single fuck
#shitpost#aromantic#platonic love#relationships#friendship#god i hate my life#so much#so so much#bet im not getting any likes on this post#*rereading* oh i wouldn't want to read this either#oops#my posts
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ranting on the blog cos i fucking can!!!! saw a post talking shit about a fic that involved an asexual character and im just annoyed!!!!
i hate reading a fic and seeing the comments and one of them is like “hey this piece of work is shit cos u represented this asexual character wrong >:(“ when the work represented the asexual character PERFECTLY FINE but theyre not sex repulsed.
the character could be shown making sex jokes or even just casually talking about sex and somehow its an issue? lord FORBID theyre in the bedroom too (no matter if they’re participating or not)
funny enough asexual people arent all sex repulsed, idk how many times this needs to be said? not all asexual folk are the silly weird “sometimes i forget sex exist!” character thats become to prevalent in media now. and im not saying being sex repulsed is bad/being stereotypical, being sex repulsed is fine! ok! amazing! but what im saying is it isnt the only way to be asexual.
honestly any representation of asexuality is good representation cos its a (sparkle effect) SPECTRUM (sparkle effect) some are sex repulsed, some are sex indifferent, some are sex favourable, some are sex weird and some just really wanna touch some ass. You literally cannot misrepresent asexuality unless you purposely write a canon ace character as allo. you cannot misrepresent asexuality cos people are weird and odd and different.
im sorry if your uncomfy with an asexual character being written/shown as being sex indifferent/sex favourable but please just block the tags, dont read the work, dont interact and fucking dont comment. youre acting like an ass and making someone feel bad for no reason. its fine to be uncomfortable cos funny enough you have the right to but dont put others down cos you’re uncomfortable.
it happens so often no matter if its fanfiction, artwork, whatever-the-fuck, anytime an asexual character is shown in a sex related situation theres a problem. unless if the character has been specified to be sex repulsed, shut up and let people have fun.
it gets tiring thats all?
(not using any specific tags, only cos i dont wanna get harassed but if you somehow found this congrats ig)
#ignore me im just sick of people#oh my god you can also tell when its some ignorant allo person too#“im an ally and your sexualizing asexuals!!!” when in the notes the author literally says theyre ace💀#ill delete this later im just annoyed#oh my god how people get upset if an asexual character dates an allo character#ace4ace relationships are awesome!!! but so are ace4allo relationships!!!!!!!#if ur wondering what fic im talking abt btw i wont specify only cos this poor dude got blasted in the comments but it was a caleb x essek c#its funny cos the people see the asexual colors and just assume theyre not into sex#do you know???? what demisexuality is???? good sir??????#like guys cmon🥲#omg not to be that guy but the tma fandom is bad for it too#let people self project please🙏#unless if the creaters said the asexual character is sex repulsed stfu#cupid chaos
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ive (aroace) now been dating my boyfriend (allo butch) a couple months after a year gap where we had broken up and decided to stay friends. lately ive i found myself even less attracted to him now than i did the first time we dated and broke up.
he’s well aware im aromantic, and has said “Taking it as a personal achievement to have an aro person fall in love with me.” im..not in love with him. haha. kind of the point of being arospec. he loves me really passionately and I can’t reciprocate that. i feel like im letting him down a second time. i want a platonic physical relationship but we’re long distance, and it would be up to me to go to him. we have other issues but the biggest thing for me is that i can’t love him like he loves me, and every day i find myself manufacturing reactions for him that aren’t genuine. i care for him deeply, but i don’t think i can continue pretending to Love him the way he thinks i do. not sure what kind of advice can be served for this, but i needed it off my chest anyway. thank you in advance
hello! that sucks im sorry that seems like an extremely uncomfortable situation to be in and to be completely honest i think the solution would be to break up with him because you don't want the same things that he does and that is completely valid. as someone who has been in a similar situation it is so, so draining to keep up a "im happy to be in this relationship" persona, like what you said about manufacturing reactions, it sucks! its horrible its genuinely so draining. my advice is to explain to him that what you want is completely different from what has been happening in your relationship and to ultimately break up with him because not only does it suck for you but it also is unfair to him to keep pretending. both of you want different things that are attainable but not compatible and the best thing to do would be to break it off. i hope this helps and im sorry because it sucks so much and good luck i hope all goes well!
mars
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