Doodles to wind down from finals crunch ft. Nuclear winter throuple

4:46 am [F]

plz reblog if you enjoy it!

pairing: bangchan x gn!reader

word count: 599

tw: reader has depression, anxiety & adhd, mentions of a psychiatrist

sum: y/n is angry with their psychiatrist and bangchan is left with the aftermath

an: this is purely self indulgent dont mind me (cause my psych sucks)

© copyright mp3chan 2022

you practically kicked the dorm door open, slamming it behind you. letting out a frustrated shriek. “UGH!” you knew you were being loud but you had to be quiet the whole way home from the psychiatrist’s office and needed to let it out.

you went toward to the living to see a stunned changbin, jisung, chan and hyunjin. you looked visibly angry, something most of them hadn’t seen.

“you won’t BELIEVE what that fuck face told me!” you started on your rant, only to be stopped by jisung literally booking it to his room.

“yeah i’m out, they’re your problem bro.” changbin told chan, patting him on the shoulder briefly and then going to his room.

“whatever it is, it’s bullshit. but you’re scary when you’re mad. bye.” hyunjin told you before booking it to his room too.

leaving just you and chan. he was a little scared because he didn’t know how to handle you in such a state of anger.

“d-do you want to tell-“ he started to ask you when you began your rant again.

“this fuck face reads my file, acknowledges I have severe depression, anxiety and adhd and THEN-“ you started to getting louder the more you got into ranting.

chan was worried about other dorms around them hearing you and getting a noise complaint filed against them, but he was more worried about how angry and upset you were.

he reached forward and pulled you close to him, letting you straddle his legs and sit on his lap, watching you instantly calm down a little.

you sighed and rested your head against his chest. “and then he tells me I need to take the mental health assessment again and that he’s not changing my meds at all. i don’t understand why he wants me to take it again with no med changes because shit won’t change.” you whined, feeling chan gently rub your back.

“im sorry, doll.” chan apologized, even though he wasn’t at fault. he knew how hard you fought to even get your diagnosis of adhd in the first place and how badly you wanted to get better.

“not your fault.” you lifted your head up and sniffled. “just wanna be happier and not be as tired all the fucking time.” you wiped your tears away. “you make me the happiest i’ve ever been but that-“ you started to ramble.

“i know doll, doesn’t change the fact you still have depression. I understand.” chan smiled at you, you didn’t know how he calmed you down so fast.

“i'm sorry i yelled channie.” you apologized, leaning back on his chest and snuggled against him, trapping him there to give you cuddles.

“it’s alright doll, you needed to get it off your chest. i do think you terrified the boys though.” he smiled, remembering the look of horror on jisung’s face as he ran to his room.

you giggled remembering their shocked faces. “even you looked a little scared. am I that scary when I’m mad ?” you asked him, hoping you hadn’t scared any of them too bad.

“a little bit.” chan blushed and chuckled.

“is y/n out of kill mode?” changbin asked peeking his head around the corner.

“they’re not gonna rip anyone heads off right?” hyunjin joined in on the questioning.

you leaned back on chan and gave the boys a thumbs up. “im ok now. sorry if I scared you.” you apologized.

“remind me never to piss you off like that. holy shit.” jisung finally said emerging into the room, followed by hyunjin and changbin.

ngl ive been reading all your asks abt swbts and. you’ve opened the floodgates. before i start screaming let me say i absolutely adore your art across all the different fandoms you’ve been doing forever and all the fandoms you’ve only done a few pieces for. now that that’s said let me rant.

FBDHSJSHRBDNAKSKSKFJTJCNC I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS

SPC HOW FUCKING DARE YOU

i definitely got into the series bc of you so thanks for the emotional damage i haven’t been this fucked up since reading the locked tomb - i was finishing swbts on the way to get a christmas tree and everyone in the car was looking at me in absolute bafflement as i sat there sobbing

your art of everybody is actually so gorgeous i would do anything for your ma and xu da (i love his skater-boyification) but god damn baoxiang. the way you draw him is just so ugh. no words but like 😳 holy fucking shit.

some variation of your art (credited ofc) is my profile pic on pretty much every single thing i have an account on bc its just so beautiful

dont want to take up too much of your time so ill end it here but i just got hwdtw for christmas snd im devouring it and have already cried once

alright bye and hope you have an amazing day :) <3

aaaa thank youuuu it’s so heartwarming to know ppl like my art no matter the fandom it’s for 🥹🥹

NSBDNS SPC OWES US A CARE PACKAGE!!! sorry to hear abt the crying sesh during the christmas tree drive i hope it was cathartic lmao. and aaaawlfksn thank youuuuu!! so happy to hear u like my art (yeah having to reckon with the Truth that wbx would serve lethal levels of cunt in a modern au was a surprise for me too lmao) and that you use it as pfp 🥹🥹🥹🥹 have fun with hwtdw bestie i’m never recovering from that

MIRACULOUS LADY IS CRAZY...good!

What's up guys...😈This is MY first post on this account, and although I may not be as detailed as Bookworm who posted the MK1 post, I am here to rant and share how I feel about my current fixations. WOO!

Today I am writing about Miraculous ladybug (guys...don't judge me help...) AND HOW CRAZY SEASON 5 HAS BEEN HELLO???!! I did NOT. and I mean NOT expect season 5 to be as bombastic, as dastardly, as ridiculously crazy as this. AND this is why I am writing about it today, also because I feel like It's time for someone other than Bookworm to post as well, wouldn't want Worm over there to feel lonely! Heh...heh...heh

-

ALRIGHT, so let's start off with how the theory about ADRIEN being a senti-monster is POPPING OFF ALL OVER the Miraculous ladybug fandom (yes I am a little bit late I apologise), and this is because of season 5 episode 24, Representation, and other hints in the season.

In this episode we first start off with Adrien, who is looking very sad and lonely... 😱In London, since his father forced him to go to London for his future studies. Lately, Adrien has started to disobey his father, AND THAT IS A GOOD THING! However, the fact is, whenever he tries to do something he really wants to and his father doesn't want him pursuing it, he tries to stand up to him but it's strange because Gabriele decides EVERYTHING for him. From, his career, his friends, his school, everything. And Adrien can't disobey him when Gabriele 'commands' him to do something. But despite this, Adrien has grown so much over the past couple seasons and he has tried to hard to have a life of his own without anyone controlling him.

(From season 5 episode 24)

Now, we obviously understand now that Felix, Adrien's weirdly identical cousin is a sentimonster, or a senti-human if that makes sense. I DONT know much about what's going with senti-monsters and stuff it's too confusing bye. ANYWAY so In this episode Kagami and Adrien do a little play for Marinette, who is heart-broken that Adrien had to leave for London. AND BTW, I hate how Felix took advantage of her by pretending to be Adrien like let the girl rest for a second. So they do the play and BOOM a huge secret has been revealed to the whole community and we learn that Felix is a senti-monster human little baby and Adrien is...well, I don't really know.

(From season 5 episode 24)

In this scene, the play states how Felix's father wanted his wife, who is Emilie's sister (ok Ik this is confusing AND IDK IF IM SPELLING THE NAMES RIGHT but u guys know who is who.) to have a child as well. Not just Emilie, who at the time, was pregnant with Adrien, after wishing for a child for so long with Gabriele. Felix's father confronts Gabriele in jealously and anger. However, Emilie felt bad for her sister and wanted Gabriele to do something, to bring a miracle to her sister and her sister's husband just as she was gifted with a miracle. Gabriele confronts Felix's father and says, 'After much studying, I have discovered a solution for you and your wife.' And he offers the peacock miraculous to Felix's father, who hesitated but accepted it in the end. And that is how Felix was born. So, it's safe to say that Adrien could have also been a gift from the peacock miraculous, yet it's hard to make sense from all this and everything is confusing but the answer is right in-front of us. It is also evident that Kagami is a senti-monster/senti-human, since Felix states how they are the same, just like how Adrien and he are the same.

Also, the peacock background behind Emilie when she was pregnant with Adrien carries symbolism, this scene enforces the theory that perhaps she used the Peacock miraculous to finally have a child, and that child would be Adrien Agreste.

No wonder they all suffer from horrible parents, because their lives were never their own, even from the beginning.

ALSO THE STUFF GOING ON WITH LYLA/CERISE IS CRAZY GUYS. First of all, she isn't just a liar, BUT HER HAIR IS A LIE TOO? HELP? THE HAIR REVEAL WAS A SHOCK. But I won't lie she kinda slays the short hair look, IM NOT ON HER SIDE GUYS IM JUST SAYING.

(From season 5 episode 21)

But yeah, Miraculous ladybug has been super crazy and all over the place lately, I haven't even finished this season yet! But I am looking forward to seeing Lyla as the new villain, (or is she)? Who knows, guess I'll just have to finish watching. A little worried about Adrien but I have faith that he will be alright...heh...heh...Adrien....Heh...WHAT WHO SAID THAT!

Signing out, (I ALWAYS WANTED TO WRITE THAT MUAHAHAHHA)

Queen.

hi sorry to place a mild rant here i just cant do journaling to myself. So i got diagnosed with pcos and i just got birth control to take. And i dont know how to feel about it. Im genderqueer but not ready to come out and like E was the only option they gave me and since im a teen i didnt know, still dont know, how, if, when i can tell these people that i dont think this is what i want. Im writing this right before im supposed to take my first pill and im scared. Scared i will hate it and will have to live with that because i just cant come out. But im also scared it will make me feel better. Do as my mom says and make me less tired, less cranky. Im scared that when she says that she is doing this because its the best for my health, that she is scientfically right. And my dr even mentioned how i didnt seem to care about anything they were talkin about (pills-side effects, “benefits”) but like after the fact i realized that i could have said that i didnt care because all that she wasnt going to improve my life in any fucking meaningful way. Like body hair? Love it. Or well i would like to remove some not all of it, and not feel like in removing like stomach hair that i was agreeing that i was a women or that hair is disgusting. Because i would remove hair for myself ya know. Not for the preconcieved idea of who i am and how i should look. And acne? If i cared id actually put my acne cream on. Fertility? Dont want children, and they talked about unwanted random fertility but im ace and sex repulsed. Beyond the first visit they didnt even mention cancer. Ive been telling myself im going to take these pills to prevent cancer in uterine lining. And im scared to look up how true thag is. I mean on how e decreases these helath risks. Im scared theyre right. Im scared their wrong. I will fucking riot if they are lying because that means this is for nothing. Im scared it wont give me gender dysphoria, scared i will have dysphoria because it wull peel layers off the dissasosiation i face. and before all this i was planning on making my mom a presentation about intersex people and gender. Because shes supportive just a littl confused and not radical, im radical because grief has made me angry and i want to let her in on it ig. But i dont think i can do that anymore. Because i would have pointed myself out as intersex. Imply she could be too if she liked the label. But im scared that her being cis, and having struggled with weight and eating when she was a teen (and that pcos effects weight) would mean she would hate the idea. Would call me wrong or cite drs. She told me to shave under my arms once, for the convience when traveling light on vacation so that deodorant worked better?? And hours after she said it i realized if i existed for ease i would crase to exist. But im worried whats a good ease for her would be a killer for me. Idk anymore. i guess any advice? But that will probably be to come out and i dont think i can do that. any research or resources that proves im allowed to be angry? I think im just looking for people to tell me im normal for feeling this way. Having a bad day. Thanks for any.. help? Hope this wasnt triggering or anything, i just saw that you were nonbinary with pcos too- and yea. Okay bye

I really don't know if I'm the right person to answer this. I was already out as non-binary for years before I got my PCOS diagnosis. When they said "take these pills" I asked about the other options and they gave me none so I simply refused to take the pills. But I'm like,,, I don't super care about the negative affects of PCOS. I'm casually suicidal all the time and I'll keep living for my family but if something kills me I'm pretty alright with it. I don't really expect to live much longer than like, a handful of decades and like honestly the world is on fire so it'll probably be shorter. So like, my perspective on this is not necessarily a super healthy one? I'm fairly apathetic about my own existence.

But like, I understand your struggle here with wanting to explain the PCOS=intersex connection to your mom but knowing she'll respond poorly because she also has PCOS.

I really don't have any solid advice here. Just... I guess, consider really carefully how you want to feel in your body. If you've been enjoying the superficial changes the PCOS has done to your body with this weird little second puberty, maybe you should consider advocating for yourself a little more firmly about it. Your future health is important but so is your current comfort in your body.

greetings,

my name is star.

————————————————————————

i dont have much to say but I enjoy writing nonsense. i rant a lot too, so keep that in mind.

im a nerd.. mostly about the human body, general health, certain types of fictional characters, songs.. blah blah blah.

sometimes i talk in the third person, very unlikely that i will here but just a heads up.

but games and stuff i enjoy are:

project sekai

minecraft

mental health and human development and body

anime (not romance)

genshin impact (not really)

poetry. mostly sad poetry

————————————————————————

um, some fun facts ...

im currently studying japanese and culture (though i dont have much time to anymore since im busy with lots of things)

im very interested in music and i play the flute for my school's concert band, though i plan on dropping out of music to be in my schools drama class next year.

though im not really interested in genshin impact i really enjoy the ship kavetham. ive been fixated on the ship for a while now. i really like how kaveh and alhaitham are written and their lore behind their characters. i enjoy kavetham fanart so i may reblog some art i see on my feed time to time

alright, thats all but heres one more thing,

this whole account and personality is like an alter ego in a way. a place where i can express my thoughts and share things without people i know seeing them. bye bye now! be safe!

sitting here watching aqua hug eraqus like god i wish that were me

when you get this you have to answer with 5 things u like about yourself, publicly. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool) ♡

HAHA GUESS WHO FINISHED HER WORK EARLY?!

*THIS BITCH*

1) At the summer camp I've worked at, I am *very* good at my job, and I am *very* good with my campers. I pride myself in being a hard worker and dedicated to putting them first and working and striving for their long term happiness and sense of belonging.

2) I'm (generally) pretty good at distractions. Whether it's my campers, other kids, or even my friends, if they're really going through it, spiraling, whatever, I'm (generally) pretty good at helping to calm them down and make things semi okay again.

3) I'm good at problem solving.

4) I like my hair.

5) I LOVE my eyes. I think they're a pretty color. :)

THANK YOU, VIRTUE!

honestly not surprised at all with the skydoesminecraft shit

Ough guys Im gonna rant about Feyd in the tags again, it’s about his angsty haircut again

While I understand seeing Jess and Rory make out like that must have sucked, Dean is a complete ass for threatening Jess like that and trying to antagonize a fight. It’s not Jess’s fault Rory and dean broke up. Jess never made any move on Rory until BOTH of them were free. Dean needs to get off his high horse and stop being an ass.

Replacement (Pansy Parkinson x reader)

warnings: swearing

Summary- Pansy gets jealous when Y/n starts to form a friendship with Daphne. Y/n starts to hang out with her more than Pansy. In their dorm room doing homework and playing wizards chess. Like what Y/n and Pansy do.

At the start of the year Snape put you and Daphne Greengrass together as Potions partners. You both had a history of just disliking each other, there was no reason but you just didn’t like each other. After Christmas break you decided that you would have to be civil to get good grades. After talking and doing assignments together you decided to actually be friends.

“Pans, she is so nice. I don’t even know why I hated her in the first place” you tell your girlfriend cuddled up in her bed. “I’m glad you’re getting along then” she smiles. “She’s coming over so we can finish our potions assignment and finish off some potions homework. You can join if you’d like” “I’m a bit tired so I’ll pass” “Here I’ll do some of your potions homework” “No it’s okay but thank you, princess” “Pans I want to help you out” “Alright, just don’t do it all, okay?” “Okay.” Pansy regretted that moment for weeks.

You and Daphne quickly became best friends, you would study together all the time. You and Pansy used to do that together and she started to despise Daphne, the only thing stopping her from ripping her head off was you. After Daphne would leave you would be in such a happy smiley mood and Pansy loved it. “She’s really funny, she was telling me about this time with her sister” Pansy would smile and laugh when she needed to and the last thing she wanted was to break her heart. She knew that if she told Daphne to stop hanging out with you then you’d never forgive her. So Pansy did what was right for once.

Daphne knocks on the door, you get out of Pansy’s bed and open the door, she greets you with a hug. “I’m so ready for this rematch of wizards chess” Daphne says, together you okay for hours while Pansy reads a book, she couldn’t handle seeing her touch your leg or play with your hair. Pansy is a very jealous person. “I’ll see you tomorrow” Daphne kisses your cheek on the way out and Pansy shuts her book so quickly.

“What was that?” She says angrily “What’s the matter, love?” “She kissed your cheek” you chuckle getting into bed with her. “It’s what straight girl friends do, trust me it’s normal. And Daphne is as straight as a ruler” “Well you’re not straight” “Trust me Pans, I think I know that” “I hate it when she touches your leg or your arm or she plays with your hair or fixes it. That’s my job not hers.”

You give her a kind smile “It’s different with girls and guys, Pans. You’ve got all guy friends, if they want to do all that stuff with you I’m okay with that.” “That is so different” “Thats not at all different!” “I’m a lesbian, that would cause no sexual desire for me.” “I’m not sexually attracted to Daphne” “So you’re just attracted to her?” “No! She is my best friend.” “I thought I was your best friend” “You are, sorry darling. She’s my good friend” “I’m sorry too princess, I know she’s your friend but it’s too easy to get jealous.”

The weekend comes around and you have plans with Daphne, she comes over early to do your makeup. Pansy is still sleeping so you both try to keep quiet, your other dorm mates have already left. “She gets grumpy if you wake her up early on the weekend, so be quiet.”

Daphne accidentally trips you and you both start to giggle waking up Pansy. “Y/n?” Pansy calls out “I’m so sorry, bubs. I didn’t mean to wake you up” you stand by her bed and she notices the makeup. “Where are you going?” “Hogsmeade trip with Daph” “Can I come?” “I’m so sorry, we have to go” Daphne says, “I’ll be quick” “We have to go now, I’ll see you later. I love you.” Pansy doesn’t say it back and they walk out.

She gets mad so naturally she goes to rant. She gets changed and goes down to the common room where her group of friends are sitting on the couch. “Good morning Pansy, you look happy” Draco says sarcastically “Shut up I’m sad and angry” “Are you on your period again?” Crabbe says and the boys laugh. “I want to rant, so you’re going to listen and you’re going to shut up until I can say you can talk, got it?” They nod their heads.

She sits beside Blaise on the couch facing Draco, Crabbe and Goyle. “As you know Daphne has stolen my girlfriend from me and I’m about to kill her after this morning.” “What happened?” Draco asks “I’m about to tell you. This morning I wake up to Y/n on the floor laughing with that bitch, Y/n is the sweetest as usual, being all cute. Then I ask if I can come and I say I’ll be quick and Daphne says no and basically influences Y/n to tell me no. Y/n almost never tells me no. Now you can talk.”

“Well maybe they needed to be there by a certain time” Goyle suggests “No, because it was only an hour ago people are still leaving to go to Hogsmeade now. Do you think she will tell Y/n to break up with me?” “No, Y/n would never do that. She is a Slytherin so she knows how to take care of herself” Blaise says. “I know but she’s not one of us, she’s sometimes easily influenced” “Well you’re a very good convincer maybe it’s just you.” “What do I do?” “Talk to her obviously, maybe tell her all of this.”

Pansy waits all day for them to come back after dinner. “Y/n let’s talk” Pansy holds your hand “Here?” “No our dorm” “Just wait outside, Daph” “No, don’t. Actually don’t bother waiting for her again, just leave her alone.” Pansy takes you upstairs and slams the door shut “That was rude” “I don’t care” “What’s your problem?” “Y/n I miss you.” “I’m here now, we can spend the whole night doing whatever you want, I promise.” “No! I miss the old you, before you spent all your time with Daphne. I tried so hard for weeks to be happy for you but I can’t when I get no time with you. It used to be just you and me and now it’s you and Daphne and I am by myself.”

“I’m sorry you feel like that but I want to spend more time with my new friend, we have done so much together I want to do it with my new best friend.” “I should be your girlfriend, more important than your best friend. I always made sure you felt included when I would hang out with Draco and my other friends. You haven’t even asked if I wanted to hang out too” “I would but Daphne doesn’t like you, she thinks you’re rude” “And you still want to be friends with someone who doesn’t like me, your girlfriend?” “I’m sorry, I really like Daphne. She’s a good friend and she’s the only one I can connect with on similar interests.”

Pansy starts to tear up “I try my hardest to listen to you talk about everything you love and I’ll try harder, I want you back Y/n and I want her gone.” You had never made Pansy cry before, Pansy is tough and she rarely cries so it hurt. You didn’t know what to say “Fine, don’t try to find me or apologise because I won’t hear it.” She pushes past you and spends the night in Draco’s dorm.

You put on one of Pansy’s jumpers and try to fall asleep but it’s hard when you’re not in her arms like every night. The next morning you tell Daphne that you need to stop hanging out so much and you walk around looking for Pansy. You find her in the common room with her friends “Pans?” “Go away, I meant what I said yesterday” “I didn’t, I told Daphne we shouldn’t hang out as much” “Bye Y/n.” You go to the library to calm down.

“Pansy, she seems really upset” “Since when do you care what other people feel, Malfoy?” “We both know she doesn’t deserve that. She loves you a lot and after you told her you don’t like her she broke it off.” “I told you what she said to me, am I supposed to pretend she didn’t tell me she was sick of hanging out with me?” “She didn’t say that” “She meant it.”

After talking to Draco she realised how important you were to her. You walk back from the library and through the common room, Pansy isn’t in there so you assume she’s in your dorm. You go to your dorm and Pansy’s in there reading as always. “Y/n!” She gets up and gives you a hug. “Im sorry, I love you” “I love you too Pans and you were right to be mad” “Let’s just agree to keep things normal” “And to be each other’s number one priority” you agree.

You cuddle on Pansy’s bed. “I love you so much Princess, it’s so nice to be able to do this without any secrets.” “I love you more, so much” Pansy kisses your cheek “Also I still don’t like Daphne” “I know.” You kiss her cheek “Dont ever change, okay? I love your stubborn, beautiful, smart self” “If you love me I’ll never change, promise.”

ch 320: alright so basically deku has been pushing away his classmates for a couple of chaps because he wants to keep the fight strictly between afo and ofa and exclude others from getting hurt and kidnapped again.

and the burden deku carries has always been ofa itself, he has been destined to fight afo but unfortunately he still is unfit to win against him in battle. he feels he has to carry the weight of all life on his shoulders because he has been given the power and the pressure that nobody else has (which is why he ran away in the first place - because of burden and destiny) so he forgets how much he needs outside support and how much it can really help him in the long run.

but he also forgets that his classmates have powers and pressures and are also inevitably apart of the fight against afo as well, so todoroki tells him here that this burden is one that needs to be shared. a burden never meant for one hero to carry - no matter if they are the holder of ofa or not.

ch 321: but deku’s stubborn yknow so he still refuses to listen to anybody, then iida’s fast ass swoops in and makes this sudden emotional moment

and i tried so hard to translate thisshjshs but anyways iida is kind of challenging deku here by letting him know that they are suppose to move at the same pace together without distance inbetween, and he kinda refers back to all might’s essence of being a hero (“meddling when you dont need to is the essence of being a hero”) and lets deku know that heroes are meant to be busybodies who lead lost children back home… they are meant to intrude and put their lives on the line for their friends if necessary

so by reminding deku what a true hero is (which is not somebody who pushes away their allies and bears the pain by themself), deku lets loose and starts to cryyy :(( </3

BYE NOT ME RANTINGGG LMAO IM SRRY BABE but i hope this is what u asked for and kinda got the gist of 321 !! 😔💗

IVE MISSED SO MUCH WHAT THE HELL?? i desperately need to catch up 😔 bUT THANK YOU MY LOVE!! I APPRECIATE IT 🥺 PLEASE DO NOT APOLOGIZE FOR RANTING ITS FINE ALDJKD YOURE FREE TO RANT IN MY INBOX WHENEVER <3

session 92 end (bye 413...)

this session was so long but so fucking hectic what the fuck

im going to try and slim it down to its bare essentials rather than go on a full rant because im pretty sure i want to make a post later on about vriska’s characterisation (not anything about me liking her/disliking her, just an analyse on her life really, so it wont be too bias because thats not the point of an analysis. i also want to do one on aradia, been meaning to for a while... hmm... damn i havent done much analogies lately, and i THINK the last long post on a character i made was about davesprite??? so its been a fucking while. that being said, ill leave a lot of details out for this end of session notes so i dont just repeat myself later on. rather will keep to plot points here and then make character points in another)

alright

first we had a page or two where aradia confided in nepeta about her being dead which means nepeta is the only one to know this revelation. im pretty sure aradia confided because there was no other way around it, since nepeta was her server player, so it was inevitable. either way, aradia still put her trust in nep, which means, if you think about it, nobody else knows and nobody else ever will. and considering aradia asked nep to keep it a secret, it probably wont get explored by others until MAYBE later on, whenever its plot relevant, so everyone will be in the dark about it for a while which ill have to remember for future dialogue and scenes with aradia in them

then we met vriska

which, yes, is a meme. i may not have been on a lot of fandom platforms, but you cant escape some of the stuff that goes around the internet. even if you dont know undertale, im pretty sure you know of sans. or komaeda if you have/havent seen danganronpa. its just.. the memes, ya know? ive heard from many sources of the “vriska did nothing wrong” quote (even through mbmbam which??? WHAT) but since i didnt even know what it meant, i never explored it so then i never knew it was a homestuck thing. imagine my surprise...... i think even at the time, i wouldnt have known what homestuck was either honestly so it wouldnt even matter. i only recently learned about the fandom.... uhh, maybe half a year ago??? yeah, august, so my knowledge was slim but vriska is a thing ive heard before, which still shocks me

goddammit

anyways back to her

so her intro was something, we pretty much found out she likes DnD (a FANATIC in fact) and feeds her lusus the flesh of living trolls. which is fucked up. but i wont get too much into detail about that until i make a post about her life on alternia and the consequences of such. or maybe just alternia in general...?? or *both* heheheh but i feel i need more information before i go off on a tangent about that

then we met??? white text dude?? who is a major asshole but an asshole with insults that hURted, to think i felt bad for VRISKA when that happened. woah.

i said before, but... karkat, he cant really hit deep because his insults are just HIM and his way to express himself. like some people find it natural to just go “FUCK YOU” to show emphasis on a point, and thats just karkats way. he may do it so aggressively that it takes you a second to realize what he said, but usually i dont take anything to heart whenever he spurts out some insults. ive progressed to the point where whatever he says, is just “karkat” and not him trying to be actively mean. rather, its now funny whenever he does say anything SOMEWHAT creative, dude has an imagination that goes on for miles

but vriska?? she IS trying to be a bully, you can tell. but i feel theres something much more to that. like shes trying to prove herself and her “blueblooded” demeanours or whatever the hierarchy is. she doesnt want to show emotions so she makes herself a barrier by being mean is what i can gather from her conversation with kanaya. im pretty sure youre not supposed to understand her until its pointed out and rather see her as an “antagonist” at first, but yeah, her insults are more pitiful than anything and i also cant take her too seriously. i may not like her as a person but her character is interesting because you cant always have the goodie two shoes as the protags. it doesnt diversify the characterisation so i like vriska as someone who makes the plot work and it becomes more interesting since you have someone that makes it harder for the main crew to progress. a happy-go-lucky adventure with no trouble and no turnabouts would be boring in a way. so having a character like vriska, or like this new white text guy, it makes you stop for a second and realize oh shit okay, here’s where shit CAN go wrong and WHY. and i do especially like it when these bastards of characters somehow have more depth than being the “bastard characters”. kinda humanizes them in a way. doesnt mean you have to LIKE them continuously, but theyre humans (trolls whatever) in the end and every person has their own story whether its for better or for worse

for example, i like her being placed into the story, along with white text, by how its all leading to this “accident” and is slowly showing us hints on what happened, but in the end, it wont be until later that we know the full story. even if it was in the past, it apparently is very vital to the plot and shapes how the characters act in the future, so important aspects like that are to look out for. and usually they only occur when theres been some trouble within friend dynamics. so without these bastard of characters, plot wouldnt grow AS strong and i often keep that in mind when i explore a story.

anyways, I HAD A POINT TO THIS: so vriska and karkat are characters who are yes, mean, but it seems to be their personality, and the way they either show emotions and convey feelings (karkat) or make a barrier so they DONT show emotions to produce vulnerability (vriska), white text guy seems to mostly be out to be an asshole. he told vriska she was useless to sum it up but im not too sure if this is one of those “first dialogue” to mould out a bias opinion before we even get to the character themselves, but judging by how vriska and karkat played out, he surely means something bad and i dont know how to explain it. but i cannot base anything off from one piece of dialogue. i dont even know what else to call him other than white text guy so...... ill just leave that out for now, until we finally get his introduction

though, i do wish to mention, and will expand on, im not wrong when i say karkat and vriska are similar but in different context. sorry if youre favourite is karkat and you dont like vriska, or vice versa, but uhhhh their introductions are so similar its uncanny and the way they’re portrayed is the same except one is more on crack about the meddling, while the other is angry about the meddling. similar to how it was with karkat, we were introduced to vriska talking with someone we knew (tavros) whom she obviously didnt like, so obviously, from her point of view, she wanted to be menacing. like how karkat was menacing to jade because she wouldnt listen to his point... he got angry, so he lashed out. but us, the readers, didnt know that. we thought “oh god its this asshole” until we made it further in the story and started to warm up to karkat. it may not be the same with vriska, she may be a bully regardless, but you cannot tell me we moulded a bias towards her character as we did when we first read karkat. theyre both truly mean to other people, maybe both for different reasons, but i do want to point out the similarities and not leave that out. im pretty sure andrew basically gave us a conversation that formed our opinion of a character right off the bat rather than go into depth of WHY they did it, and how they are naturally without the conditions of the game. which, you can also see with vriska when she conversed with kanaya. andrew started off with a character who only appears to speak once, and makes you judge them from first appearance alone, without any explanation as to why they said what they said and how they are with other characters, let says. so you assume they were simply a rude character. now look how karkat turned out. so im guessing in homestuck, the first impression should never be the opinion you stick with until MAYBE 5 more conversations with that character (each one different)

OKAY done with the vriska introduction, now to slutquius

yes, hes kinda weird, i have stated that many times. i have no idea what to say about him other than he likes porn, he likes centaur dick which just so happens to be his lusus as well and if that isnt a red flag idk what is

he also likes his lusus milk, right from the udders of his guardian

fun times, fun times

my opinion of equius kinda.. differs. which i should really put in place the “dont judge by first impression” rule, because at first i thought he was rude with, then i thought he was hhh okay, because i understood why he was being so protective over nepeta and her team placement, since the people she was going to play with WERE dangerous. but if you think about it, both sides will probably put you in danger. it just depends on which ones you confide in more to protect your back rather than those which would cause trouble on purpose, in my HONEST opinion. so equius was a little overdramatic on that part, but i got what he meant. he was on the blue team and he didnt want to leave nepeta alone without him on the red. but then this session happened. and he went back to being weird again because of the whole porn thing, especially being so open about it like dude chill youre 13. but the thing is, then i felt bad for him because hes basically touch starved. to say that he could break anything he touches, i doubt people would go up to him for hugs. in fear they would be crushed to death by a simple hug. so im guessing hes rather lonely and doesnt really know how to interact because of this. so i felt sad that he had to live a life where he needs to be careful of everything he touches so it doesnt break randomly. see? poor dude. but then things got weird. and im pretty sure hes a masochist. so my opinion on equius is a fucking cosine graph

which brings us to the final point:

gamzee and equius’ conversation

i dont even know.....like.........gamzee was unaware that equius was using him for his own power play roleplay, right? gamzee knew it was a roleplay but it had had some.. idk.... obvious sexual implications? and i bet gamzee didnt really know that? he thought they were only venting out through a simple roleplay and trying to get closer because he originally thought equius hated him, considering equius flat out said “i hate you” and gamzee went “you tell me everyday and im okay with that” so.. gamzee probably wanted only to get closer to equius so he helped out his little problem which.. thats so sweet but i feel bad he was coerced into something he didnt get, especially since he was innocent enough to go along without knowing equius’ true gain

anyways, equius was getting off with the hierarchy thing. considering he’s “lower” than gamzee, and gamzee is surprisingly ...high on the spectrum??? so equius wanted gamzee to boss him around, because it felt only natural to him since he’s the “inferior one” and gamzee is The Big Man. like i get that, but it was written in a way that was so uncomfortable, that i wish i didnt. equius is just a weird character... hes not BAD per say, but hes... hes something alright

but im really liking gamzee. the two things which struck me in that one conversation, was the “i dont get why we should dictate people by the colour of their blood, i just see people as people” piece of dialogue and “i cant go around pleasing just everything so its alright if you hate me”

thats... so good, idk. i really liked that. i also really liked when kanaya said “youre dangerous but dangerous people are needed and are important because it shapes you” like <33 my fucking heart

god homestuck may be a tad on the weird side with some of its characters but it surely knows how to create great lines of dialogue

and that concludes the long 4 hour session i did, hope you all enjoyed it

with that, i rest

LOVE LETTERS 4 YOU !!

to the people who have made my 2020 bearable

welp here it is, my (possible) last post of 2020. i would like to thank all of you for all the support these past few months ! even though i've only started writing this year, some of you react like ive become a world renowned author. i love you all so so much, i really do. even though we do not talk to each other often, we may have interacted with each other, or just supported each other's works. thank you so much lovelies. and to the other content creators out there, you are amazing !!! thank you for making it easier for people to get through the year. just as you think that someone doesn't appreciate you, i do. cries im getting teary eyed so um i have to leave this here but thank you once again. i appreciate all of you.

love, a loser on the internet

to @fairyoomi,

DUMB DUMB HIIII! first of all, i'd like to say that this will be short because by the time i've posted these i would already sent a message to our gc so so um yuhh bonus letter! this year has been hard, for you and me. and let's just say that we got through it together by each other's help. i really couldn't have done it without you, irda. i love you so so much, my (platonic) one and only. i gtg now bcs omi is rlly stealing you from me.

love, a friend.

to @ursaurora,

hey babe <3 well we made it ! to the end of 2020. im so proud that you've made through the year with all these obstacles in your way. i know things on your end have been shitty lately - or maybe they've been resolved - but i know that you're so strong. so much stronger than hercules or any of the gods in that matter. in fact, you are my strength and my weaknesses. i truly fell for you (platonically). i hope 2021 would be the year that the gods in the clouds will finally look at you in awe. thank you so much, moonie.

love, your platonic wife.

to @neo-shitty,

thea! it's been a while since we've talked. i hope life has treated you well. what do you think? of next year i mean,, with your studies and stuff. i hope accounting goes easy on you. truth to be told, i love maths but accounting just makes me wanna commit unalive LMAO SJSJ but frfr now, i do hope that your answers will come easy. you have officially became my favourite senior so skks i hope you don't mind that title. maybe i'll visit you sometime in the future. for now, let the wind of the south decide our fate.

love, an angst writer who looks up to you.

to @closer-stars,

literally bye im talking to you as im writing this but hey ok so.. childe kinnie i would like to thank you so so so much for making these past few weeks so entertaining for me. your messages and our mishaps are stupid to the point i get clingy and start making fun of you a lot because that trope is !!! i have yet to read your works but i will do that sometime this new year as you are one of my comfort content creators. i dont say this a lot but i love you so so much, may i be your main dps?

love, the kaeya to your diluc.

to @angelinanamoo,

HEI BAE! what goes on? i hope you are alright in this fine moment of life. i wanted to start off my saying, thank you for creating such tasty content for kpop stans AND harry potter stans… like only a deity can do that. you are so pog for this holy hell. thank you for making this year 'okay' because your content is truly entertaining literally i dont know how you do it. very amazing and pog. i wish that 2021 treats you so much better and to that i say, mischief managed.

love, the harry to your ron.

to @/voiratz,

heyhey,, i know you aren't here anymore but im gonna write this anyways. im missing you sm these days and im not sure why, but maybe it's because you always give out that 'supportive big sister' vibe. i miss our little rants too,, but other than that, i hope that life is treating you better than before. you deserve every inch of happiness in 2021 and the years that come after. if you need me, i'll always be here. i love you so much. thank you, mon étoile.

love, venting buddy.

to admins of @kpopficsnetwork, @atzinc, @starvhs and @kpopscape

hello there! we don't talk that often but i just would like to say thank you for all your hard work. the other members and i appreciate it very much from creating your own content to managing contents of others. every one of you have been so caring towards your members/affiliates and God, we couldn't ask for more. we all love you so very much, once again thank you. i hope that 2021 would be a good year for all of us <3

love, one of your members.

who tf the org 13’s tailor and how do they make enough Anti Darkness cloaks that chums like DiZ can just snag one