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onesheeptwosheepandachicken · 3 years

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26 Reasons why Qrow is not Ruby’s father and why Taiyang is Ruby’s father

In response to the toxic aspect of the fandom attacking CRWBY and demanding that their desires for Qrow be chosen over canon, or how they feel their theory is more valid than the show itself? I have researched RWBY to make this 26-point Discussion as to why Canon is valid, and fancanon is not when it comes to Qrow Branwen, Ruby Rose, Taiyang Xiao Long, and Summer Rose.

1. “Monty said NO” Most obviously. Monty Oum.

He said in this tweet that ruby and yang are half-sisters…half-sisters, which means they share the same mom or dad…in this case Taiyang….

https://twitter.com/montyoum/status/492070189731565568

Now people have claimed “he obviously meant step-sisters or cousins” Why is it that every time we show the English dictionary to you people or ask you to read it, that you claim you are being attacked or that you claim Monty was misleading us?

2. The writers said NO

Miles Luna debunked this theory on Reddit…

He pointed out that Ruby sees Qrow as a Role model, so she adapts her colors to be similar to his.

And you don’t need somebody to be blood to be your role model.

https://www.reddit.com/r/RWBY/comments/7x3w4s/crwby_ama_w_miles_luna_kerry_shawcross_and_paula/du5d67g/?

3. “Rooster Teeth said NO” Rooster Teeth even said that Qrow is "Ruby and Yang's Uncle" They also said “Ladies, he’s not your man”

https://twitter.com/RoosterTeeth/status/1067205612331782144

4. “But what if Summer had feelings for Qrow? Why does Qrow Serve Ozpin?” Qrow said in Volume 6 " No one wanted me... I was cursed... I gave my life to you because you gave me a place in this world... I thought I was finally doing some good... " So he was saying he wasn't wanted, so no relationship with Summer. SUMMER DID NOT WANT HIM. And he was literally saying he served Ozpin because Ozpin gave him purpose. It’s pretty sad how people think Qrow can only be a complex character if he obsesses over another person’s wife and child. What , you wanna make him Severus Snape, the Lilly Potter stalker who insulted a girl’s face and tried to poison a boy’s pet and publicly outed a teacher?

https://rwby.fandom.com/wiki/Qrow_Branwen/Quotes#So_That.27s_How_It_Is

5, "But Qrow could be lying" Except in volume 6 Qrow literally said "Don't lie...we're better than that"

And in volume 7?

" Long time ago. I just found working alone tends to be for the best "

" Gotta say, I’m still not really used to working with other Huntsmen in the field. "

And finally World Of Remnant on Patch.

" Nice place to raise a family, if you're into that sort of thing. "

https://rwby.fandom.com/wiki/Qrow_Branwen/Quotes#So_That.27s_How_It_Is

6. “Qrow fans claim that Ruby and Summer form a core part of Qrow’s character and backstory.” WRONG! The main accusation for demanding Rooster Teeth / CRWBY change the backstory for Qrow would accomplish nothing.

Raven already pushed Yang onto Taiyang to raise on his own.

Qrow forcing Tai to Raise Ruby alongside Yang while Qrow could regularly visit, and while Summer lived with Taiyang, Yang, and Ruby?

It would cheapen Qrow’s character….blood isn’t everything. Neither are cliches.

7. “But what if Qrow gave Ruby to Tai to raise after Summer’s death?” Volume Chapter 6, Burning the Candle.

Yang tells Blake that she (yang) and Ruby were raised together by Summer and Taiyang…not by Taiyang on his own, but by Summer and Taiyang.

Yang clearly had memories of being raised by Summer and Tai both, which meant that Summer and Taiyang lived together raising Ruby and Yang for Several Years.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZkN-53h5Os

8. “Does Taiyang care about Summer or Ruby?” Taiyang was noted to have shut down when Summer didn’t come back…. Yang noted this in Volume 2 Chapter 6, and Ruby mentioned in the first episode of Volume 3 that Taiyang missed Summer. Qrow also said that Ruby is Taiyang’s “Special Angel”…. Ruby has also pointed out numerous times that Taiyang is Overprotective of Ruby. In fact, Ruby's conversation with Penny about overprotective fathers.

9. “Qrow knows Taiyang is Ruby’s Father. Taiyang knows Ruby is Taiyang’s daughter. Qrow has referred to Taiyang as Ruby’s father during volume 3 and 7. Taiyang referred to Ruby as his daughter in volume 3.

10. “Why didn’t Taiyang train Ruby in Martial Arts?” Taiyang is a martial arts fighter. Ruby has neither the build nor the personality for ruthless hand to hand combat like her sister… Taiyang would trust Qrow, despite his semblance. Remember how bad Ruby was in v5?

11. “Qrow’s semblance is not what his fans exaggerate it to be”

Speaking of Qrow’s semblance? He was playing video games with his nieces, taught at Signal Academy, and could train Ruby… Clearly, his semblance is not what theorists make it out to be.

12. “Why doesn’t Qrow treat Yang the same way he treats Ruby?”

Yang is the daughter of Qrow’s sister,who abandoned the team.

During a one on one interaction between Qrow and Yang after yang vs mercury, Qrow called his own niece crazy, after she had been framed.

Qrow was not empathetic to Yang.

Qrow may not like Yang’s resemblance to Raven.

Ruby is the daughter of his two closest friends, so of course he’d prefer Ruby over Yang.

13. “Examples of Taiyang caring for Ruby.”

Volume 2 Ruby was excited when Taiyang sent a package in the mail, not even knowing it was Zwei.

Taiyang was at Ruby’s bedside in V3, and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

He also tried to bring her breakfast in bed.

Taiyang said he wanted to chase after Ruby, but had to nurse Yang back to health.

During the V8 broadcast, Taiyang was upset when the broadcast was cut.

14. “Genetics research”

Black hair is the subtype of the pigment for blonde hair…

Also, Ruby’s got the same hair strand that Yang and Taiyang have.

Finally, black hair is more dominant.

So Ruby doesn’t need blonde hair to be Taiyang’s kid.

https://askinglot.com/is-black-hair-a-dominant-or-recessive-gene

https://www.quora.com/If-a-jet-black-haired-parent-and-a-blonde-parent-have-children-what-color-hair-would-the-children-likely-have

15. “The STRQ Photo”

The photo....Qrow was with STRQ for four years...do you really think Qrow is not allowed to cry on the photo unless he was romantically involved? Can't a man grieve over the death of a female friend that he was NOT in a relationship with? Or are men not allowed to have female friends? Ichigo and Rukia from Bleach for example...friendship. They were his friends, his family. People seem obsessed with the idea that Qrow cannot care about a woman unless he was romantically involved or unless he's their bastard father.

16. “Men and Women…as friends, platonic” Harry Potter as a book showed that a boy and a girl can interact and still be friends…

Why can’t Qrow be Summer’s friend?

Why does he have to be her lover?

We’ve seen Qrow talk about Innkeeper’s skirt lengths and leer at Barmaids who flirted with him.

Also, he’s shown to be bonding with both Clover and Robyn.

People act like he doesn't flirt with anyone , and yet he does.

17. “Bad Luck Charm” Qrow has spent his whole life with his semblance, named after a Crow.

Raised by the Branwen bandit tribe.

“You and I are not the same, you don’t want the burden of my name” Both Branwen and Qrow are names that Qrow hates due to his semblance and past…

People may think of him as cool, but Qrow suffers from self-loathing.

So NO, the Bad Luck Charm song does NOT in fact allude to Qrow being Ruby’s father, but that Qrow hates himself, hence a major part of why he’s alcoholic.

Proof of which is his volume 6 exchange with Ozpin about being useful, which Qrow disagrees with, leading him to drink further. Yang literally said that she had never seen qrow so drunk before in v6.

And Ruby encourages his self-worth leading him to try giving up alcohol….

His alcoholism is tied to low-self-esteem, not relationships.

18. Manga Anthology

Taiyang was shown in the Manga Anthology to have shut down upon Summer’s Death. That impacted his relationship with Ruby and Yang. Qrow? Is relatively unaffected. The good Uncle helping around the house. Taiyang haters and Qrow stans took this to demand that Qrow is entitled to Ruby, despite Taiyang recovering and doing his best to be a father. Anything Qrow does is worshipped like Mother Teresa, while anything Taiyang does, good or bad, is downplayed and smashed. Taiyang loved Summer so much he was devastated by her death. Qrow was unaffected. Think about that.

19. “I like Brats” Why does Qrow spend time with kids he’s not related to? Because he likes kids. You know how there are adults who enjoy being around brats? That’s Qrow. He didn’t have romantic feelings for Summer, he liked being around her because she was like a kid. Similar to how Blake likes Ruby’s idealism? And trusts her leadership?

20. “Taiyang the 2-timer accusation”

A woman on youtube claimed that Taiyang was a 2-timer who cheated on raven with summer, as there was, in her and her friends’ minds, “no way that taiyang could be with half his team” When asked about TaiQrow as a joke, she was angered that people even ship TaiQrow.

But let me ask you this. Are you the same person you are now that you were 10 years ago? People claim that Qrow was somehow cool in beacon…because he’s cool now. But Taiyang, who raises two kids, and holds a job and a house…cannot be ruby’s father…because he’s not cool? And that somehow he was never cool? I’m sorry, I didn’t know you had to be cool to be a parent. I also had no idea people were only allowed to be in one relationship per lifetime. Raven freaking abandoned Tai for the tribe. Summer chose Taiyang over Qrow. People literally make Qrow out to be either an OC in a shipping fanfic, or a Naruto fanfic where Naruto is written to be fawned over by a girl whose canonical spouse, boyfriend, or male friend is somehow rewritten as evil.

1 year…..in 1 year since Raven abandoned Taiyang and Yang, Summer Rose the friend of Taiyang’s who he had known for 4 years, became more than a friend.

So no….Taiyang is not a two-timer…he moved on from Raven.

22. “Why can’t Taiyang talk about Summer?” To WHO? He’s barely got 15 minutes of screentime, and the writers did NOT do him any favors when they had Qrow demand he leave so Qrow could tell Ruby a secret Ozpin trusted him with, before telling Ruby to run away from home leaving only a freaking note. Terrible daughter. Even Yang was prepared to do the same! To a man whose first wife abandoned him! At least Weiss has a legit reason for acting as she does against Jacques, several at least. Ruby? No. Now why would Taiyang talk about Summer’s fighting style to Yang when trying to get her to stop acting like Raven in her fighting style and semblance? Sure if there was more time…but RT at the end of the day isn’t some money-hungry political entity, it’s a startup at the end of the day, they don’t have the ability to do a full anime episode. Also, Taiyang cannot go out on these active missions…he was a schoolteacher who did not do missions until only recently…he was retired, remember.

23. “These fanworks make more sense to me”

Qrow fans have tried using fanworks to justify their theory or ship, the same way Blacksun fans or Adam apologists make similar claims, and even Raven fans try to claim Raven is somehow a good mother. What do these fanworks do? Hate on Taiyang. Dismiss Ruby and Yang being half-blood siblings. Ignore multiple elements of the show or scenes. Occasionally shit-talk the writers.

Every time somebody tries to make a “rwby rewrite” or “rwby alt” or “Qrow is ruby’s father au” they cannot do it without completely rewriting the characters in so many forms and even the show, till Qrow, Raven, Taiyang, and Summer are NOTHING like they are in the show…And ONLY how a shipper wants qrow to be.

Or rewriting qrow to be nothing like he is in the show.

Most Alt or Rewrite consists of making Taiyang abusive, a cheater, or refusing to allow him to interact with Summer, while regularly pushing qrowxsummer at each other.

So no…it’s not that it makes sense to them through some fanart….a headcanon that has been debunked is no longer headcanon. A theory that is shut down is no longer a theory. There’s a reason anti-vaxxers and flat-earthers still exist. Because to them, their theories make more sense than reality. Which is why people still believe Qrow is Ruby’s father the same way people believe vaccines cause autism. Neither are true, and no amount of facts will shut them down, but they’re both popular theories.

24. “Qrow Rings and Cross”

People claim that Qrow was married to Summer or that his cross represents him mourning Summer. Did the STRQ photo, in v3, the same volume as his appearance, not show Qrow with his rings, his cross, and angrily scowling, while Summer was right next to Taiyang?

25. “What about Summer Rose’s choice?”

Remember how I said making Qrow’s character based on solely Ruby and Summer, ignoring everything regarding the tribe and ozpin giving him hope, and the grimm reaper…was bad writing? There’s a reason people hated v5. Raven was proven to be the deadbeat, Qrow was shown to have friends, and that Taiyang knew about Salem, and of course it was confirmed that Yang and Ruby again were sisters by Raven.

Now how about Summer? Team leader….took a man and a daughter who were abandoned by her friend…and made them her own. Yang calls Summer Rose “Supermom” and “Her Hero”…was literally willing to storm a bandit camp so Raven could use her portal to take Yang to Qrow, so she could get to Ruby. And yeah, I know the RWBY critics scream “why didn’t Yang just look for Ruby in Mistral?” It’s a bloody kingdom, and Yang was pursuing a lead, that Tai had given her, and Qrow told Yang he’d look after her sister. Remember that? Oh wait, RWBY Critics forget, my bad. Anyway, she’s more of a sister to Qrow than his blood sister Raven, she’s more of a mother to Yang than Raven, and she’s more of a spouse to Tai than Raven. Good Stepmother. Non-married couple. Relationship built on trust. Blood is not the same as family. (Example Weiss’s remark to her father) (Or Dom Toretto)

So making Summer into a throw-away character who dies so that a brooding jerk of an alcoholic can claim character development? Making a woman nothing except a throw-away for a man to get development is BAD WRITING. For God’s Sakes, even Pyrrha was written better than that! She interacted with team rwby, nora was always helping her out, and so was Ren (though those shakes are a crime against humanity” But when Qrow fans try to demand he’s ruby’s father? Their fanworks make Summer as much of a flat character as Preston Harvey from Fallout 4, where they make Summer unable to do anything but be obsessed with Qrow and having his child, similar to how Preston cannot think of anything other than “Another settlement needs your help, I’ll mark it on your pip-boy”

26. Finally, the accusations that CRWBY are lying.

“You have to be ****** if you believe CRWBY when they say Qrow isn’t Ruby’s father” “CRWBY is lying, it’s what writers do” “It’s okay for writers to lie, it’s good for plot” “I’d prefer it if CRWBY was lying to us” “Monty is dead, the writers should change it now” “Monty is dead, nothing else in the writing matters” “Monty was hiding the truth from us” “CRWBY is hiding the truth about Qrow being Ruby’s father” “It makes sense for CRWBY to lie to us” Look at this…Twitter, Youtube, Facebook, Tumblr, Reddit, instagram…. The first quote? Was a woman who was using an anti-autism anti-disability slur defending the theory. Never have I ever seen people so obsessed with a theory that they would deny reality and be rude to the very writers and original creator. But the QrowxSummer and Qrow is Ruby’s Father fandom group has made countless cases of this. THIS is how they defend their theory? And people upvote, like and support these remarks? SHAME SHAME SHAME

Conclusion:

I get how people desire qrow to be Ruby’s father for ships or fanfics.

Even to where they make Taiyang a hated character just for the sake of making sure nobody disagrees with them.

But the attacking of RWBY and CRWBY, claiming that “this needs to be fixed”, or getting angry at RT for not giving you the non-canon ship you want? Claiming that just because you want it to be so, that somehow your ship/theory has “validity?”

That reflects poorly on the fandom and critics.

But then again…. It’s easy to ignore what’s real and what’s a fact that when theorists and ship-pushers and CRWBY Haters on youtube tells you to stop listening to monty and the writers, and instead believe whatever you want and claim whatever you want, Because surely you know what’s better for the show than the people who worked on it, right? Ha ha ha, no. THAT is the ULTIMATE disrespect somebody calling themselves a fan could ever give. And if you think or agree with that type of logic, you should look in the mirror.

I looked for backup sources to defend CRWBY and RWBY, you’ll find them below.

Backup sources include:

https://aminoapps.com/c/rwby/page/blog/qrow-is-not-rubys-dad/422o_0rbCYuoXj36VoB7obK3MXPZRbPKkz5

https://aminoapps.com/c/rwby/page/blog/why-the-qrow-is-rubys-father-theory-is-wrong/z668_nQlIxu0dmRdRpEPxqE3qlWlZEmoE2

https://aminoapps.com/c/rwby/page/blog/qrow-cant-possibly-be-rubys-and-heres-why/8BB5_LPVCmu2bonkw8eEP3Yokg8m8zJlgNV

https://aminoapps.com/c/rwby/page/blog/why-qrow-isnt-rubys-father/lXXx_5QoUQuPVGo3Wgko3wJ52mMBl7644P

https://aminoapps.com/c/rwby/page/blog/is-qrow-rubys-father-short-answer-no/422o_0rbCYupDKezxPxpdje7dRn3nB8YvZ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPbft3KJd6o

https://aminoapps.com/c/rwby/page/blog/qrow-is-rubys-dad-theory-debunk/d33g_pQEcbu1NKQoMEv0kmDpP6N8bmowkkq

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volfoss · 3 years

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how about ranking bucciarati's team?

regret to inform you that ur gonna get a very long answer bc i have passionate feelings about them all! also trish is in this bc she is part of the team and no one will tell me otherwise and will also include some rambling bc it is me and i have so many feelings towards these characters and none of them r cohesive

under the cut just in case (post writing yes it was long)

Giorno Giovanna:

way way more complex than ppl normally give him credit for (i will not go into feelings on how a majority of the fandom treats him unless ppl want me to then i will in fact make a very long ranty post and will not be stopped)

mildly op (esp at the beginning with how hes kind of able to just use his stand really well w no problems altho i think thats true of most of the jojos that we have seen animated?)

i am emotionally attached to him and want to give him a big hug

hes just a kinda goofy kid and is maybe a bit not good with figuring out hey this is a semi dangerous situation maybe i shouldnt be taunting him (leaky eye luca for example)

has the actual best theme

i love how he works off the rest of the team so well (even w members who do not like him)

is in my top 3 jojos i love this kid sm i would adopt him if he was real

7/10

Bruno Bucciarati:

the fucking way his character develops from licky man to best dad material is my favorite thing

his outfit is so so so good i would die to wear it

in general this man is one of my fave jojos characters and i get a lot of comfort from him

hes just really neat and has a good taste in music

he did his fucking best and i will always love him for that

imo the way that his death was drawn out was genuinely one of the most heartbreaking deaths in the entire series and fucks me up each time i think of it

i feel like he really is the one to hold the team together in a way that everyone feels cared for and saved

def has a savior complex tho for sure

dilf but im ace

also manga superiority bc he either makes the stupidest faces or looks very nice (anime has a lot of weird animation in regards to his face) and also because its lingerie there instead of a tattoo that changes thickness and placement every second

10/10

Leone Abbacchio:

guilty pleasure liking man

i am obsessed with his vibes and wish to become him

i cannot physically express just how much i love him but hes one of my faves of all time (not obvious by my theme at all wdym)

i miss his manga palette but also the colored manga isnt my beloved but also black lipstick abba

hot take maybe but anime abba looks better than manga minus the lipstick debacle

hes so so tall and i will steal his height in a nice way

his past man his past it fucks me up

his death fucks me up normally but when i was rewatching recently, i saw he gave this tiny lil smile after helping the kids get their ball and i could not take it anymore

him and brunos relationship (canonically and out of canon too) is one of my favorites in the series

also fandom hot take as i guess i am doing those for everyone- but ppl either have him as cosntantly trying to murder giorno or being like good son and v out of character, and it is really weird? not sayign that ill do better when i write them but also like im convinced some ppl havent seen the show or smth

i will steal both him and bruno and marry them both <3

this man is beloved i love him to death

10/10

Pannacotta Fugo:

i cannot spell his first name to save my life

also fandom take- ppl make him constantly only angry boy all the time and it really irks me. ik araki did not give him 2 much to work w in terms of canon personality but its frustrating

the light novel purple haze feedback is so so so good and adds sm to his character and i really like it for that!

fugo is one of those that imo deserves a lot and didnt get that

genuinely the vibes between how he treats narancia is v interesting to me, like its clear he cares about nara but nara not doing great w math really frustrates him

i love their interactions and how he is genuinely a kind person at times

the manga colors r superior here, my strawberry boy <3

i just really love and appreciate him a lot and wish that ppl gave him more love

i keep getting assigned him on kin quizzes

very smart good boy

ALSO ok fugo did not do any wrong by leaving

unsure if thats a hot take but i genuinely dont blame the character one bit for leaving and again purple haze feedback really delves into that and why he did it

if ur a fugo fan go read it

his past is really upsetting esp in the anime i will cry over it

his stand is adorable and i wanna hug it

his vibes r fun and i wanna gift him strawberry dangly earrings

8/10

Narancia Ghirga:

this boy i am also adopting (i am adopting most of them sorry)

i really hate how ppl act as if hes stupid bc bad math skills do not equal stupid like did ppl not see the fight w formaggio??

the way he just fucking dove into the water after the boat and how brunos face went all soft and happy it will never not make me cry

he is constnatnly making me wanna cry if i think too much about him for 2 seconds i love him sm

how can anyone not adore him when he set an entire street on fire yk

hes just happy despite his past and it makes me sad i love nara sm

torture dance is one of my favorite memes from the show

ALSO ok the way he died so suddenly absolutely broke me bc the remaining team members r really just seeing everyone die in front of them so quickly

his goofy and laid back moments r my fave

i love just how loyal and caring he is to his friends

his stand is really cool and again the fight w formaggio was so fun to watch

8/10

Guido Mista:

probably my least favorite member of the team for a semi good reason:

the jokes towards trish are really really uncomfy and how fugo doesnt wanna be involved but he is pushing him to do something that makes him uncomfortable did not make me like him a lot

hes goofy but not goofy enough for me to be ok with the repeated jokes about that esp in the body swap episode (ik it was supposed to be funny but it just felt off)

his vibes r good but i wish we got to see his hair

the fandom interpretation is normally pretty good of him overall?

despite not loving him a lot, i really enjoying writing for him (one day might open up headcanon requests or smth but unsure)

hes someone id wanna watch movies w but his taste in movies and mine r very different

love how he and his stand get along

honestly has very very good comedic potential

i really like how he and giorno interact as the series goes on (in a platonic way i need to clarify that i love their friendship)

again him in purple haze feedback was really interesting

probably a 5/10?

Trish Una:

beloved and deserved better

her first outfit in the manga > outfit in the anime

actually in general i believe in manga trish superiority like her hair in the manga looks so cool

her stand her stand her stand i love sm

if u dont include trish in the group i am murdering u <3

HER CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!! IS SO GOOD!!!!!!

fandom gripe is how people either pretend she does not exist or has the trish first introduction thing where shes using her defense mechanisms and acting a bit spoiled

OK but her in purple haze feedback!!! mild spoilers but how bruno was taking care of her post the ending of vento aureo makes me so happy each time i think of it

very mad that she canonically didnt really get an ending and yet again PHF my beloved actually gave her that

how spice girl starts out as a stand thats helping her thru a very stressful situation is so cool and i love it

DAD BRUNO DAD BRUNO DAD BRUNO *frothes at the mouth*

but more seriously how she leans on bruno and begins 2 trust him and nearly point blank is referring to him as a father figure always fucks me up

esp because of the resulting fight afterwards

and the very ending of the arc that ends w bruno being like bye gonna go in the clouds and look ethereal now, oh man it makes me so sad

bc giorno is the only one that knew what happened and people that were closer to bruno due to knowing him longer didnt

i wanna see how trish coped w that personally

despite being introduced not at the beginning i think her arc and character in general were as well paced as it could be!

9/10

finally done! sorry that took so long but oh man i have so many feelings towards these guys its not even funny

#asks #wholesome mutuals #vento aureo spoilers #to add that bruno is one of my faves of all time is probably obvious by me putting him at 10/10 #fiance bullies me lovingly for liking leone so that is explanation 4 first bullet #he has not even met him but just calls him piss man #the fandoms treatment of most of these characters makes me really mad tbh

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ewgoals · 4 years

Text

50 Reasons why

Plot: Harry and Y/N have had an on and off relationship for 4 years, They truly feel like true love was what kept them together but nobody will take control.They had a beautiful baby boy together and the love they share was pure so pure that Harry decides to try and take control even if it was too late and the woman he called his wife was over him.

A/N: The Plot Is short but the story is long, complex and beautiful. It’s based on a true story. Please listen to the song while you are listening Via Spotify or apple music, Please it makes it so much better! I have a youtube link. I said that Harry wrote and sung the song but it was a musical named rent if you don’t know lol Let me know if you want a part two

Link: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-9pvtRwaKHY

Triggers: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Tears?, Heart break.

Word Count: 5,843

Harry was up all night, that’s how it’s been the last few days he couldn’t sleep without Y/N by his side. Harry knows that he did this to himself from pulling away from his former wife, when he began to struggle with his own personal demons. Harry finally sat up as he saw the light coming through the blinds of his home, he looked at his phone for a moment just hoping to get even the smallest text from his former lover but it was sadly nothing. Harry finally decided that he needed to take control of this situation, he needed his feelings to be out there and for Y/N to understand what he truly felt.

This gave Harry the amazing idea, he was going to mix a romantic gesture with him pouring out his heart. This was going to start with Harry writing an emotional letter for the woman that he loved before words, he then ordered 50 roses and sent them to Y/N home after he checked with a couple of friends that she still lived there. This of course was Harry’s favorite thing that he’s done for a little while and he was beyond excited about finally having some control.

Y/N and Harry have been talking every night since Y/N reached out, making sure her ex husband was okay. She never wanted to put him in a bad place, but she knew that it was for the better that they split up even if the divorce was rough enough on both of them. Y/N was shocked when she woke up to his friend calling her from downstairs, the woman rushed down the stairs in fear of something much more horrible. Y/N covered her mouth as she looked around at the 50 dozen roses that filled her living room and dining room.

Roger looked at his best friend before saying “Girl he wants you back so bad” Y/N looked around just as shocked before grabbing a letter that was kept separate from the roses which made her smile seeing Harry’s handwriting “I’ll read these to you just because you are here” The woman admitted before her best friend nodded as he watched her open the letter “Okay here we go” the woman said shaking her head as she began reading.

“I know that you told me not to write this and normally I would listen but I can’t help it, I saw this post that I made for you that was written like a year ago I think and it was crazy because you don’t think you could ever add to a post like that. I could though, it was talking about how you make me feel all of these things! I wasn’t sure how it was possible to add more but once I actually sat down and began thinking about how I could it was easy as hell. I’ll show you the post so you know which one I’m talking about.” The woman’s eyes were already filling with tears as she began to read the post Harry wrote for her on her birthday last year.

“My Love,

As I am writing, I have a million thoughts running through my mind. This letter is meant to be a testament to the feelings I feel for you – you are the one person that can put a smile on my face, even on those days when I am feeling down. You are the reason I am able to lay in bed and fall asleep peacefully. Looking at it, you have offered me new opportunities that no other person would be able to offer me. As you lay next to me in bed sleeping, I lay there and wonder what I did to get so lucky in my life.

You are the one that has reached out and showed me the true meaning of what it feels like to be in peace. There is no other person in this world that could have done that for me. It amazes me that someone with such outer beauty as so much inside her as well. I feel like I am floating when I am with you. My days get brighter when I am with you. I still manage to get these butterflies when I see you. I guess overall I love you. “ Y/N shook her head as she sniffled trying to get herself to compose herself once before she looked at her friend “Please Read the rest” she asked as Y/B/F/N took the letter and began with the next page

“I wrote that on 10/23 that was literally 3 days after you and I got together. That was the day I meant the love of my life and the woman would become the mother of my children, I told you last night but let me rephrase so everyone can see it.

I may not show all the time and that’s because I’m shitty at human emotions but you are the most important person to me. When I’m down you bring me up without realizing you are. When I’m beyond crazy you manage to bring me back down to earth I didn’t wanna tell you because it goes back to the whole “what the fuck does this beautiful ass woman see in me like?” And that goes back to the whole I don’t think I’m worthy of love but you truly make me like I’m worthy even though I fuck up nonstop you still manage to love me even when I’m stupid as shit.” Roger stooped as he began to run his hand up and down his friend’s back “He is quite the words man” this caused them both to chuckle as her friend went on

“I mean every word of that ten times over, no matter what stupid shit I do you manage to find a way to forgive me. Y/N from all the adventures we go on from fucking around and getting hitched in Vegas, to getting married in Paris or maybe me trying to drown you bora bora. That is still not confirmed, I’m only joking but I don’t feel like there are enough words to describe our relationship hell our marriage. Happy birthday to the love of my life, you still manage to keep on my toes but I think that’s because of how amazing you.” Roger gasped “that’s what he wrote for your birthday? I can barely get laid from mine” Y/N laughed as she ran her hand over where her ring used to see as she took the paper and read the last paragraph

“I found that post still saved in my phone and if I’m honest it started off a long list of things that I miss about you and I’ll break that down one by one so give me a minute haha, I’m going to call this the 50 reasons why I love you and the reason why I think we should try just once more and If it doesn’t work then that’s fine and the reason it’s fine is that we have such an amazing friendship that I don’t ever wanna lose. You give me hope even when I am hopeless. I can use all of those typical relationship quotes and for once I understand why they are like that. Okay fine I’ll get one with my list haha.”

Y/N brain finally connected the dots as she looked around at all of the roses “They are in order from number 50” the woman shook her head as she looked at the roses once more, this was going to be a long night. Y/N quickly got started as she picked up the number 50

“50.) I like the way you look at me.

I don’t know it’s possible but when you look at me, I feel this flutter in my chest telling me that I just saw the most beautiful woman look at me. I am also in a position where your eyes tell me so much more than you ever want to let one.” Y/N smiled sweetly as she kept going on

“49.) Your Skin Care

I don’t think I could tell you what you are actually doing when you start the process but I can tell you that I love how you almost become instantly relaxed when you start it and I love seeing that. I love to see how you can wind down from your day and just a little face cream helps you so much with that. “ Y/N looked at her best friend as ran her finger through her hair before giggling “He used to literally roll his eyes everytime I would even begin” Y/N shook her head as she smiled a little before she grabbed the next card

“48.) Those Legs

I love the feeling of running my hands up and down your legs, the way they curve so perfectly, and the length. Please don’t get me started because I don’t think I could stop. They are smooth and always smell so good.” Roger laughed as he lightly smacked her thigh “told you those legs were killer” Y/N laughed as she shook her head “Next one” she said

“47.) Your Touch

The way you used to just run your fingers over my arm or trace outlines on my chest. I used to always look down at you and the minute I felt the tips of your fingers, I would freeze only for a second but that’s because I was shocked you were there.” Y/N looked down at the card as she closed her eyes “I don’t think I can truly get through these” The woman smiled but she kept going

“46.) When you Play with my Hair

This doesn’t get enough credit and I took advantage of it. When I used to lay on your chest and just listen to your heart you would run your fingers through my hair and I would always feel my heart speed up because it felt so good. It felt like you were giving my head the greatest massage of all time” .

“45.) You see the positives when I see Negatives.

I could come to you about something as simple as wanting to know what I should have for lunch and you can give me a whole pro list of different places I could eat. You literally turn every point in our life positively just by counteracting my negative. It makes us work really well but it also shows me how I should look at the world.”

44.) How you used to rub my back

I know this sounds like I am repeating myself but I’m not. You used to straddle my waist and rub my back after the gym, It would give me this relaxing feeling and the way your fingers worked the muscles that were sore out and made me feel like I was jello. I can’t thank you enough...

43.) When You Picked Me

I don’t think anyone was as shocked as me when it happened, I slide into your DMS a nervous man knowing that you had just gotten out of a relationship but I kept my heart open to the small chance I had. When you agreed to go on that date with me I couldn’t even believe it like Why was she settling but I thank my lucky stars for the day over and over.

42.) When You Just Wanted To Cuddle.

I would wake up and have to get up for the gym but you would always pull me back down and ask for five more minutes and the minutes I got a smell of your hair I couldn’t say no. I would have to stay for five more minutes.

41.) The Way You Wake Up.

You always sit up and stretch before you look over at me and lean in to kiss me, I would always try to turn it into a little bit more but you would always say that your breath stunk and I remember that I could never bring it to your attention that I never smelt your breath, I was to busy focusing on my beautiful wife.

40.) Your Feet At Night.

You know that I hate feet with a passion but I love the way you bury your feet under my legs when you get cold when we are together. I used to hate it now that I don't have it. I just miss it.

39.) We Could Watch Cartoons Together.

I never figured that would be something that made me love someone but it truly made me love you more, I could put Peppa pig on but we could still cuddle and just read.

38.) I’ll Always Remember Your Favorite Flower

I will always make sure to have your favorite bouquet of flowers and I will always know that they need to be a dark red because Maroon is one of your favorite colors.

37.) Your Ankles.

I remember when I would be messing around with you, I would always grab your ankle. I would leave a kiss on your ankle, I would hold your ankle. I think I don’t want to admit how much I love kissing your ankle.

36.) You never make me feel dumb.

You are genuinely one of the smartest people I know and somehow you’ve never made me feel like I was less because I don’t know as much as you but you would even try to explain it to her.

35.) How you watch your favorite show,

I’ve noticed that you would religiously watch the same show over and over and that would drive me insane now I find myself watching them just to think you are here.

34.) How You Pull Me Closer.

I would try not to fall asleep first but the minute I did, I would feel you pull me closer and keep me close until you either felt safe or just content. I would love every minute I remember.

33.) Your Dancing

You always dance like nobody's watching and I love that. I love the way you mix current music and start doing the boogie haha I also love the way you twerk lol

32.) Your Quick Replies

I would feel myself becoming closer to snapping and you would always lighten my mood with a little small quick roast, It would always make me feel better.

31.) Your Love For Dogs

I’ve never seen someone care about our living things, I would always be a little shy about them at first but you would go and bear hug the dog no matter what haha.

The next ten flowers were labeled NSFW which meant that Y/N was’t going to read them out loud but her friend was quick to put that idea down “Nope, I’m emotionally invested you need to read them all” Y/N blushed before nodding as she looked at the next card reading loudly

“30.) Your moans

Those are literally crack, I would hear that moan and it would get me ready almost instantly. I hear the moan almost every night and well let’s just say I miss hearing it in person.” Y/N was blushing already as her best friend laughed “Oh this is adorable keep going”

“29.) Your Whispers

I don’t know if you thought I could hear but when you whisper in my ear, I feel myself almost buckling at my knees and smiling just because I know exactly where to touch to make those moans come out.”

“28.) Your Nails

I miss the way your nail would run down my back, they could be long or short. They were just this naturally fuck me harder button and I swear every time you did it I was ready for you all over again.”

“27.) Your Taste.

This is not a place that I can beat around the bush, I miss the feeling of going down on you. I miss feeling those fingers in my hair as I eat the most amazing peach that I could’ve ever tasted in my life” Roger laughed as he held his chest “Girl you better get back with him, that alone would have be running back” Y/N covered her face as she closed her eyes “Okay next one”

“26.) Your Lips

I miss how those lips felt against mine, they are the softest things I’ve ever kissed, and the way you bit your bottom lip is just unreal.”

“25.) Your Smirk

You only use this when you know you’ve won and it’s my favorite thing about getting to admit defeat. That smirk you have when you crawl back on top of me. A man could fall in love with that.”

“24.) Your Ass

How is it I can picture your ass and I could tell you the curves of the perfect tanned ass. I love how you reacted when I finally smack your ass. You gasp and use that damn smirk.”

“23.) Your boobs

I still love the feeling of kissing down your chest as I run my hands over your amazing breasts, they are soft and fit perfectly in my hands. I can tease you so much because of it.”

“22.) Those Kisses

I always remember when you would be giving me a blow job, You would always leave these kisses on my inner thighs. Those still drive me wild but Nobody could do it like you.” Y/N smiled as she shook her head “Girl you need to teach me your tricks. You got this boy pussy whipped” Y/N slapped Roger’s chest “Shut up”

“21.) The way you pull my hair.

I’ve learned that you grab onto many things, my hair is a perfect victim but god is it such a turn on. I could feel myself slipping away because you wore me out but the minute you pulled my hair I was back into it. “

“20.) The way you take control when you want it.

I loved watching you ride me, I get the perfect view of those amazing perfect breasts in my face but I also get to see you take control and that is so sexy. “

Y/N finally looked up at Roger before closing her eyes “I have 20 more reasons why he loves me and I have no words to say anymore” Roger smiled as nodded “come on girl 20 more”

“19:) How well we fit together

I would begin that I could marry someone who just sleeps well and I did. Our bodies just fit perfectly to the point that I could never think that anything could be better”

“18.) The Way You Talk To Tv

I can’t begin to tell you that just because you scream at the tv, it's not going to change the outcome but watching you get so the anger was half worth it”

“17.) Your Grace

The way you handle yourself when the media talks about you. You don’t talk negatively but just smile through it”

“16.) The way you handle my jealousy

I know that sometimes, it’s ridiculous that I get jealous over small stuff but it’s because have you ever dated someone who was so above your league? Of course not, you are a goddess.”

“15.) I love that we are friends and family.

No matter what you always made me feel important even when nobody else did, you always treated me like family and when I was going through a pure panic attack you would manage to call me down even with just your words. You treat me like I am not this piece of shit. That I matter. “

“14.) Your Smell

When you would get out of the shower and come to bed, The way your hair smelt mixed with your perfume and other smells just made you into this perfect smell that I still can’t get out of my nose.”

“13.) Our Baths

We did this a lot while you were pregnant, I would just run my hand over your little pregnant belly and I would feel so content with just being able to hold you, let you relax with some weird bath bomb”

“12.) Your Christmas Obsession

I never really liked Christmas before I met you, it was kinda just a holiday. I would go home but you made it special. Now when it’s Christmas time all I think about is you, how your eyes would light up when you would see all the Christmas lights. How you would get excited when Emre,Lea or Presley opened a present. You Made Christmas something special and I’ll always thank you for that.”

“11.) Your Laugh

I think I could write a ten page essay about your laugh alone. I remember holding you and I would start to tickle you now it would end in you giving me a death threat but it was worth it to hear that laugh. I would always get this heart fluttering feeling when that special sound left your lips.”

“10.) I miss you when you aren’t next to me

I’ve noticed this more now that we aren’t together but I find myself taking this much more serious now that the reality sets in that we are where we are. This becomes more real every time I get a text from you. Hell I used to miss you when you are in the next room.”

“9.) The way you are with our kids.

I feel like this is pretty self explanatory but the way you look at our kids and how they smile so lovingly back at you . The way they squeal when you kiss them, how they want nothing more but to hold you and play with you makes me realize that you were the perfect choice for the mother of my children, You are the perfect mom everyone is trying to me and you do it effortlessly.”

“8.) We’ll Always Have Paris.

I’ve always wanted to say that haha. You make it possible for me to say that. Paris will always be the place where I found the love of my life, It will also be the place where God showed me that angels walk among men.”

“7.) Always being True

You are being true to who you are, your morals are sometimes not in my favor but it makes me love you more. That you know exactly what you want and what you truly deserve. This drives me crazy but in the best possible way and almost makes me jealous of you that you are so smart and true to who you are that you can get whatever you want. This makes even more one of a kind than you are.”

“6.) The Way You Let Me In

I know that you don’t do this anymore and I think that’s what makes it even more special that you let me in. I get to see every side of you: the good,bad,stressed, sad, angry, vulnerable. I know it doesn’t make sense but when you open up to me I get this feeling in my chest and I just can’t help but feel like I am the luckiest person in the world. “

“5.) Your Eyes

I was in the studio yesterday and the thought of you popped into my mind and the lyrics created themselves. I have the audio of me singing which I texted you, I don’t know if you caught that yet. If not I left the lyrics for you”

Your eyes

As we said our goodbyes

Can't get them out of my mind

And I find I can't hide

From your eyes

The ones that took me by surprise

The night you came into my life

Where there's moonlight

I see your eyes

How'd I let you slip away

When I'm longing so to hold you

Now I'd die for one more day

'Cause there's something I should have told you

There's something I should have told you

When I looked into your eyes

Why does distance make us wise?

You were the song all along

And before the song dies

I should tell you, I should tell you

I have always loved you

You can see it in my eyes

Y/N saw her phone sitting next to her as she grabbed it and saw the audio file that was sent to her, the woman smiled softly before she played the song as loud as she could without waking her young son in the next room over. Roger's eyes were filled with tears by the end of the song before Y/N wiped her tears away as she shook her head “I can’t do this anymore. Roger I’m seeing someone else'' Roger nodded as he looked down sad for the woman “Just hear him out” Y/N nodded as she looked at the last four of the flowers

“4.) Those Nose Scrunches

I couldn’t get enough of those, when you would tease me there was a nose scrunch. When you would be making food and it splashed on you there was a nose scrunch. When you would change a diaper another nose scrunch or even when I kissed your nose. God I love them.”

“3.) Our Inside jokes

This is something I never thought I would miss as much I do, I love that when I say Bora Bora to you that we both think of the time you claim I tried to drown you I swear to goodness I did not! Or our mutual hatred for the chicago bears”

“2.) You made me feel like I mattered

It didn’t matter if I felt like I was the worst person you always made me feel like my story mattered and that so did what I have to say. You made me realize that even if nobody wants to hear it my voice should be heard. You helped me into who I am now. I wasn’t Harry Styles to you, I was just a person”

“ 1.) Your Heart

This is the number one reason why I love you. Your heart is a wonderful thing, that you don’t realize is as amazing as it is. Your heart is this thing that amazes me hell it managed to love me and well that’s crazy enough to me. I get more and more amazed every time you show me your heart. When I met you and your heart, it began to change me and help heal my messed up heart. Your heart is the purest thing I’ve ever seen. I love you. I love your heart and I love that you managed to love me with that beautiful heart.”

Y/N was now in full blown tears as she found the next letter hidden in the last bouquet of flowers “Roger please” her best friend took the letter as he opened the letter she read out for her

“ I think I could keep going on because If i’m being honest it took me an hour to think of 50 reasons why I love you but I decided that it might be a little too much if I sent a 100 reasons why I love you but I told you that I will give you 50 reasons why I love you and one reason why I think we should try again and here is that reason

1..) The reason I think that we should try once more is because we are perfect. I know that it would be easier to go and talk to Matthew and fall in love with him and that He won’t give you half as many headaches as I did. Hell he probably won't give nearly as much heart break either. He would be the easier option and I would understand completely if you did it now I know he's not a guy you were talking to but he was just an example. I know that I am not perfect, hell I am far from it. I know that at points our relationship was toxic and I am still so sorry for every time that I made our relationship toxic in some way.”

Y/N covered her mouth as she bit her lip “He knows about Matt… yet he still took a chance with all of this” Roger looked down at the letter as he kept saying

“I know that we have our problems, I know that we can talk through them and I know that I love you. I know that no matter what I always will. Hell you can tell me no right now and that we will never happen again and I will tell you okay but only if I can still be in your life because that’s all i truly want. If I can’t have you then it would still be an honor to be your friend.”

Y/N looked at her phone in her hand before she grabbed her phone and quickly dialed her ex husband’s number “Y/N” the sound of the man’s voice made her breath stop as she looked at the roses in front of her “Harry, These roses and the letters” Harry just laughed a little “It was over kill huh?” Y/N quickly smiled “No! I loved them but Harry. My heart’s heavy— which I don’t know is a good thing or not. All these things you’ve said about me, these 50 reasons why you love me, it really touched me and it made me realize that you truly do love me. What breaks my heart is that this wasn’t there during the end of our relationship” The woman stopped for a moment as she tried to hold back the tears that she had

‘On both sides, not just yours. What hurts is that it took 3, or even 4 years for us to realize this? It took countless breakups. It took so much, and maybe that’s the beauty of it. You’re right, another relationship would be easier to be in, there wouldn’t be the arguments and fights and quarrelling and all the little things that are basically ways of expressing love for one another. I don’t know if I need to explain anything right now, and I’m assuming you don’t want me to. But I will tell you that you really healed a lot with what you said. It means a lot, and I do love it.” Harry shook his head

The man laughed at himself as he audibly said “No, I don’t want you to explain anything. I want you to just know that I meant every word. That wasn’t my intention to heal anything with a letter. It was to show you that if you want and I need you to remember that if YOU WANT I’ll be right here waiting with my arms open and ready to love you all over again because like I said a new relationship would be easy for both of us but they wouldn’t have those parts that make us so perfect and comfortable together. Now I’ll admit I hope this does make you want to try this again but if it doesn’t that’s fine because now you know everything I was so cowardly to say while we were together.” Harry finished as Y/N sniffled into the phone

Y/N managed to start talking without breaking her words “I do understand. I don’t know if I’d want to try again though. We could, but it could end up like it did last time, it could also last a long time, but I’m in a place where I’m slowly getting better and I’m not sure if risking that is a good thing. If I’d have heard this when we were together then that’s another story. Maybe we couldn’t work it out together and recovered from our problems and mental health issues together. But we had to separate to help ourselves, that itself says something. Harry, I love you and I will always love our son and the life that we have together but I am seeing someone Harry and I need to see where that goes” Harry smiled sadly as his eyes filled with tears before he whispered “ I understand. I’ll talk to you soon Y/N. Tell Jace I love him and that daddy misses him.” Harry didn’t say goodbye. He just hung up.

Harry knows that what he did was childish and he should’ve been supportive, he couldn’t help it. He was upset, heartbroken, disappointed,miserable. Harry knew that he couldn’t do that to his ex wife and mother of his child, he grabbed his phone and quickly texted back “I am happy for you, I’m elated that you found someone to make you feel the way I feel about you. I’m not going to lie. I was hoping that my 50 reasons would give a little time to take you off your feet. I was just a little too late. I love you Y/N. I’ll always be waiting for you… No matter what”

#harry styles imagines #Harry Styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles smut #harry styles au meme #one direction imagine #hs imagine

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bluecoloreddreams · 4 years

Text

(Disclaimer: this contains spoilers for the Fruits Basket and Fruits Basket: Another manga, as well as taking into consideration tidbits from Takaya’s twitter.)

So, okay, first of all we have to address the YMMV aspect: Some people don’t like this ship. As long as they’re respectful, I have no beef with that. I’m well aware that some people cannot/choose not to make the distinction between “real life” and “fiction”— I have the luxury of this choice, so some of the “problematic” ships/character aspects within Furuba don’t bother me (for the most part). It’s fiction, and I’m aware of this.

Again, some people cannot/do not make this distinction, and that’s none of my business because that’s their personal life. I’m aware that people dislike aspects of Akigure, and that’s fine.

Personally? I’ve been reading Furuba since like, basically the dawn of time. I was reading scans on, like, MSN groups. I remember a friend at church (of all places) telling me about the Akito reveal because I was behind on updates. It’s literally engrained upon my shipping heart at this point.

(Headcanons ahoy! Like literally, this is all headcanon/my perspective on the series as a whole. YMMV/YKINMK/Dead Dove, the whole works, if you know you know

YES I wrote it like it’s an actual research paper because I have No Chill At All, please forgive me. It’s long and pretty rambling.)

Addressing the first elephant in the room: Given my limited interactions with the fandom, my impression of Akigure from a generalized fan POV is that it’s pretty divisive. Every episode she comes up there are “I hate this kid” comments and I cry

Akito is a favorite of mine, and it’s impossible for anime-only’s to make a deep, informed call on her character. On the other hand, a lot of manga-readers dislike her too.

So, why am I talking about whether or not people like Akito as a character?

I’m of the opinion that it impacts people’s ability to view her character arc as one that deserves a happy ending. That she doesn’t deserve to have love, happiness, or forgiveness, all of which are given to her when she and Shigure finally end up together on equal footing. (Do I think the way it’s rushed in the original Furuba ending? Yeah, but hey. Sensei had like a huge ensemble cast to wrap ends on. Now there’s Furubana to look to and it’s just chef’s kiss.)

There’s a mental aspect in this, involving the dichotomy between “reality” and “fiction”.

There is absolutely zero argument that are a lot of things that Akito does that uh, listen, if it was IRL she’d be in jail! Jail for terror baby! Jail for life!

Fortunately, Fruits Basket is a work of fiction. These characters aren’t real, they’re idealized brushstrokes of human nature created to move a plot and a message along.

That’s why Akito and Shigure work as a couple and as characters:

They’re both incredibly deep characters that get passed off as one-dimensional by a lot of people (and the original anime, woof). Some of it is again, because anime-only fans just don’t have the whole story, since Akito’s arc is one that builds gradually until it hits a point where all hell breaks loose, which we are a ways away from.

So what’s the message that their relationship and characters are supposed to pass on?

Well, it breaks down into two categories: world building and thematic arcs. The latter is more important and what I’ll be focusing on, while the former is just a little spice that I, personally enjoy, and won’t really talk about in depth. (It’s that the magical realism in Furuba sets up the idea of soulmates, it’s just…. Something I enjoy and it’s really heacanony, so I can’t really justify spending more words on it!)

When discussing Fruits Baskets in any capacity, I feel like we must first keep in mind the thematic “lessons” of the series:

There is an inherent loneliness in living as a human being, since loss, grief, and hurt are indelible parts of the human experience, and learning to cope with these feelings in a compassionate manner is a life-long lesson

People react differently to the loneliness of existence, and their reactions are based upon their personalities, their upbringings, and their own choices

Everyone is capable of change and learning, if they choose to do so, however:

Personal agency is taught, but in the vacuum of positive reinforcement, the ability of a person to choose to be compassionate is stifled or outright inaccessible

Therefore, if you are not taught to deal with your grief and existence outside of others, your ability to connect may become warped, manipulative, or abusive, and this is not the fault of the child but instead the parental figure

Eventually, you will be aware of your actions, and then it is your burden to choose—some people do not take this choice (the head maid, Ren, Kyo’s bio dad, Rin’s parents, Sawa’s mother in Furubana)

Abuse has long lasting effects on the psyche and can be physical, emotional, and/or mental in nature and must be dealt with in order to grow as a person

“Dealt with” does not mean that it goes away, but that it is acknowledged and given a positive outlet (Yuki’s garden, Aaya’s shop, Rin’s art, Momiji’s violin playing)

Forgiveness is not linear

Forgiving yourself is a long and arduous process, and happens independent of other people’s forgiveness

This is really brought to the forefront in Fruits Basket: Another, when Shiki talks about how his mother interacts with the rest of the Sohma family. It’s shown she’s done what she can to make amends, but recognizes that while she can individually hold relationships with certain family members, as a whole, it's best if she allows them to be away from her.

This is a whole tangent on its own, but there’s a certain blanket of casual forgiveness given to Akito by the entirety of the shown Zodiac in Furubana, in that they trust that she’s raised a kind and thoughtful son and allow him the grace of his own family.

Again, in Takaya’s tweets post-series that acknowledges that Akito’s friends with Uo-chan, despite her relationship with Kureno (and it shows a depth of awareness on Kureno’s part that he stays away

People flourish in environments where love and positive reinforcement is given freely, even when people are in the wrong

This doesn’t mean that no one is ever scolded: see Komaki and Kakeru, Kisa and Hiro, Hatori chews out Shigure all the time, but never ceases being his confidant

So okay, that’s A Lot. But every single character in Furuba follows these themes in their own manner, because the series is about healing and learning how to heal from abuse, neglect, and isolation. Someone’s gonna have to be doing it. Point blank, the end, to tell a story there must be conflict, and boy howdy, there’s a lot of conflict in Furuba. Every personal thematic arc in the series ends up tying into a romantic one, because Furuba is a romcom drama.

There’s a loop that goes “personal betterment”->”crush”/”friendship”->”conflict”->”personal growth”/”relationship growth” in the series for every character. That’s the bread and butter of Furuba.

But anyway. To the question:

I love them because they work, they’re both their own people with their own narrative focuses, motivations, conflicts, and flaws. Both Shigure and Akito are believable in their own right in the context of Furuba, and I think Takaya did wonderfully in crafting a story where their personalities mesh well and give each other reasons to better themselves.

To talk about them together, you have to talk about them separately.

I’m gonna start with Shigure because, truthfully?

I just want to lament about how often he’s simply passed off as either comic relief or absolute trash. He’s so underestimated!

“He’s a joke of a grown man… He is reliable and I trust him.” (Another, v. 3)

He’s incredibly intelligent when it comes to interpersonal relationships, which is why he’s able to do what he does. He’s also incredibly kind—no one made him take in Yuki or Kyo or Tohru. He could have just went “ah, I’d prefer not to” and moved on. But he didn’t, made up some bullshit so Haru would feel like taking in Yuki was a transaction, and let me just tell you, I am the same age as Shigure and if you gave ME three teenagers to be the guardian of?! It would be a full on disaster.

He’s actually incredibly trustworthy (if he wants to be), insightful, and a genuinely good guardian despite his jokes and wisecracking.

He forced Kyo to go back to school, knowing full well it would be good for him. He lets a whole host of children run rampant through his home. Kids who actually enjoy his presence. He’s shown as having a good familial relationship with Rin (who tries to warp that for her own means), Kisa, Haru, and Momiji. His advice to Tohru is genuine, insightful, and ridiculously helpful.

Shigure is good with people. He gets up at the crack of dawn to drive Shiki to see Sawa in Furubana. He’s who Mutsuki and Hajime immediately go “holy shit you need to do something about this” to when they find out Shiki’s getting nasty notes about Akito. He’s who Shiki goes to when Sawa fell down the stairs as a child. As much as Shiki and the others make fun of Shigure, he’s obviously someone who’s trustworthy. And that’s not some new development, he’s always been trustworthy in regards to those he loves. No one asked him to show up to Tohru’s teacher conference, he volunteered. Like this dude loves people, he’s the dog spirit after all, and rightly so.

Does he have his own motivations? Of course! But so does everyone else in Furuba. He’s a complex character, man!

He laughs and jokes a lot because he’s projecting this image of a laid back, doofus. When you think about who he’s friends with, the whole middling goofball act makes a lot of sense. Just like some of Ayame’s over the top behavior is a defense mechanism, I believe that Shigure casts himself as a generally unappealing man to keep himself safe from advances when he was in school, but also to temper the wildly unequal personalities of his other two friends. He’s the sort of person who would just go “eh, whatever makes it easy”, and that’s just how he is.

He doesn’t mean the creepy school girl thing, it’s a bit and I think the only people who don’t realize he’s running a bit are Yuki, Kyo, and Tohru who are absolutely too stupid to realize he’s playing them for reactions. He thinks it’s funny.

Anyway:

When the older Zodiac had the dream of Shigure, Shigure is the only one who made the active choice to seek out that feeling. His soul was touched, and he decided that he wanted that and only that. This doesn’t necessarily mean he went full Jacob from Breaking Dawn, but it does mean he acknowledged there was a bond, and he wanted it.

When you get into the technicalities of the curse, it’s mentioned that their Zodiac spirits influence how they interact with Akito, and that going against her can cause physical and emotional pain. Yuki cries when meeting her, and it’s mentioned that that’s just the normal reaction for the Zodiacs.

It’s hard to say how much of their early interactions are influenced by the curse, but it’s obvious that Shigure has genuine fondness for her. She wasn’t always absolutely broken, as shown in Yuki’s backstory, and was a precocious child, one who sought affection openly.

Shigure has an indulgent personality, and is shown to love being adored. Guess who loves him! Akito! Guess who wants lots and lots of affection! Akito!

Their personalities are very well matched as they get older: They’re both intelligent and coy. They both have fairly sharp tongues when needed, and have no qualms about doing whatever it takes to get what they want.

Shigure wants Akito to be independent from the curse. He’s made it clear to her he doesn’t want to be her father, he doesn’t want to be her friend, he wants to be her lover. Those are boundaries that Akito’s never been given before, and his frankness with her and his jealousy with Kureno is something she agonizes over, simply because she’s never been given any sort of serious interpersonal boundaries, or repercussions for her actions. He’s always kept himself separate from her, because of those boundaries, even when they were children.

That’s important. It opens the door to the idea that her actions have consequences, and is a persistent nagging in the back of her mind.

“Even though you hadn’t realized it, I was waiting for that day.” (ch 101)

For the bulk of the series, the only person who sees Akito as a person separate from the curse, and sees a future where she can grow is Akito. He has an extraordinary amount of patience for her, and forgives her for a lot.

There are only two incidents that Shigure cannot forgive: Her sleeping with Kureno, and at the very end of the series, I’m of the full opinion that if Akito had pushed Tohru off the cliff, Shigure would have been done with her. Look at that expression, that is the look of someone who is toeing the line of throwing away all his hopes and dreams. If she really had pushed Tohru, I just...... The series would have taken a much darker tone.

OKAY that’s enough about our favorite terrible author! (Okay, an aside, Shigure, please share your work ethic, you goof off so much but you’ve published so many things…how…)

ONTO AKITO!

“I’ve finally realized… she hated her own shallowness all this time, from the very start.” // “It’s frightening because you have no choices.” (ch 121)

A lot of people dislike Akito because she, for the bulk of the manga, is violent, manipulative and just downright unpleasant. And that’s fine, but it’s not the point of her arc or the themes of the manga. (It is, however, the point of Rin’s: you don’t have to forgive everyone.)

She’s not the only violent person in the series. If we as readers can forgive Uo-chan and Kyoko, or even Hana-chan for her moment of violence, why can we not extend the same grace to Akito?

Violence is often shown as a knee-jerk reaction to fear and sadness: Kyoko, Uo, Hana, Kyo, Rin, and Akito all react violently to negative situations and feelings. Even Kisa reacts violently when she’s at her worst, biting both Haru and Tohru when she’s in her tiger form, which is shown to actually cause pain like a real tiger would. (It’s played for laughs, but has anyone been bitten for realsies by a house cat? That hurts! How much more would a house-cat sized tiger hurt!!!)

Out of all of them, Hanajima and Kisa are the only characters to show immediate remorse, because they have what the others don’t: A positive support system. Once positive role models and support systems are in place, all of the others begin to learn how to react differently and ease out of the knee-jerk reactions that were ingrained in them.

It’s made explicit in the manga that you have to be taught how to react positively, you have to learn and choose to be good, to be friendly, to love yourself outside of others’ perceptions of yourself. Look at Yuki’s arc. Look at Uo-chan’s. Kyoko’s.

Yuki sums it up nicely in the last chapter of the manga, where he tells Tohru that she taught the Zodiac how to become human. She allows them to grow into people who can make the choice to be loving, compassionate individuals.

Just because Akito doesn’t interact positively with Tohru for the bulk of the manga, it doesn’t make it any less true:

Akito is kept in a juvenile state of being: No one teaches her to suck it up, that the world exists outside of herself, that other people are people and not things. In fact, she’s actively encouraged to act the way she does. She’s incredibly broken, between the maids of the Sohma estate just… allowing her to do whatever the fuck she wants and her absolutely jacked up relationship with Ren and Akira. She has no moral compass at all. No one bothers to teach her that her actions have serious consequences.

She knows, in a roundabout way that hey, these people don’t like me. There’s a serious mental dissonance between what she latently knows—these are all people with no connection to her other than the bond of the curse. This is why Tohru is able to break through to her at the climax of the manga:

She knows she’s wrong, but no one has ever told her she’s wrong but understood why she’s doing it. Akito just didn’t have the words to explain herself. What do children do when they cannot communicate? They lash out. Kids will bite, scratch, yell, kick, fall to the floor and have screaming tantrums out of frustration. Eventually, most kids learn that there are other ways to express frustration, and move along. (Not all, though, but most.)

Akito was taught that this is acceptable, allowable, and is her right as god. She is actively broken and kept that way through the neglect of the Sohma family maids, Ren’s abuse, and how Akira framed her role in the Zodiac.

I can go on and on and on and on why the way Akito was treated for her role in the Zodiac by her parents and the rest of the Sohma estate was just awful. I hate it, it’s terrible, she never had a chance to learn and grow and be the genuinely thoughtful woman we know she grows into.

She doesn’t force her path of forgiveness onto others and is fully cognizant of what she did, the repercussions of her actions, and lives her entire life after the curse breaks trying to right what she did wrong.

“Even if she gets hurt, she says she deserves it. She tells me not to let it bother me, but… I’ve always, always loved her so much.” (Another, ch. 13)

Tohru opens the door for Akito. She extends her hand, offers her friendship despite having seen the absolute worst of Akito. She tells Akito that everyone is lonely, everyone wants bonds, and acknowledges Akito’s worst fears, that Akito herself is selfish and dirty for wanting something assured and unending because she, Tohru, herself is dirty and selfish. Tohru knows what Akito has done, knows she’s injured some of her beloved friends, had plans to lock up Kyo, hurt Hatori.

Tohru still forgives her. One of Tohru’s striking traits in the manga is that she is suffering, every day, she struggles with the grief of losing her mother and the fear of being alone in the world. Through nothing but her own empathy and realization that loneliness is universal, she’s able to forgive people. She forgives Akito and cares for her, and through Tohru, Akito is introduced to the realization that she’s been wrong and that maybe, she shouldn’t be forgiven.

Shigure also forgives her, and this is the crux of their ship.

To me, that itself is wildly important.

They’ve always circled around each other, and Shigure has always been waiting for Akito to be able to come to him again, in full control of her life and choices. He wants Akito the woman, not Akito the god.

He’s been waiting for the day Akito can meet him as an equal. Akito wants it too, and has wanted him to turn and see her for a very very long time. But she’s been terrified, the entire time, that when he does see her as herself, Shigure won’t like what he sees, and will leave. She’s aware of what she’s done post-curse, she’s aware of the impacts it will have on the former Zodiac members, and she’s aware that once the “bonds” of god and the animals is gone, there may not be anyone left for her.

Neither of them are under any illusions at the end of the series: Akito knows she has to atone for what she did, Shigure knows she has to learn to grow into a person who can function alone. They both know that there are people who are against them changing the oppressive structure of the Sohma family.

Neither of them care. There are things that they want, together, and it’s enough. There’s a whole new world for them to explore and learn about. And in Furubana, this is shown to be a lifelong effort on their parts:

“She said after meeting me, she learned so many things for the first time. She smiled happily as she said it.” (Another, #13)

To close, I’d like to take a moment to talk about the curse and Shigure, and how he set things in motion.

Without Shigure, the curse would have devolved on its own, yes, but the circumstances would not have allowed for the freedom the Zodiac had at the end of the manga. It would not have ended with Akito being able to learn and live freely. Allowing Tohru into the Sohma family cracked open a door to compassion and kindness none of them had ever experienced before, because the Sohma family seems to exist in a vacuum of stability and love.

It wasn’t that Shigure knew instantly that Tohru was kind and loving and thoughtful, if anything, his read on her was “completely normal, albeit strange, teenage girl who obviously has a rough life”. But she was normal, she was from outside the Sohmas, and he knew that was enough. No one in the family was stepping up to change the status quo and how stifling and abusive it was, so he did it himself.

He did it because he loved Akito.

Not because he felt bad for himself, or Hatori, or any of the others, but merely because he loved her to the point of manipulation. It backfired in his face, because he got a big ol’ dose of “loving and respecting” juice from Tohru, but he still got the end he wanted.

What I mean to say is best summarized in chapter 123:

“It would be nice to live in a kind world, without any troubles, without any fear, without hurting anybody, without ever being hurt, only doing the right thing. I wish I could reach this kind world by the shortest path possible. … “That’s wrong”, or “that’s stupid”: If it’s someone else’s life it’s so easy to make such irresponsible comments. ...It would be great, but it doesn’t exist. … Little by little, walking one step at a time, is all you can do.”

We get to experience the roughest part of the path with Akito and Shigure, we got to watch them be terrible people who were lonely and in want of love struggle and learn how to get up and move on.

They tease each other, Shigure is thoughtful of the distinction between “the person Akito was raised to be” and “the person who Akito is”. He’s seen her at her messiest, and she’s seen him at his most jealous. They still chose each other, despite the hurt they caused each other, and others. They make up for it, reflect, and live a life that demonstrates that they have learned. They have friends who are thoughtful and loving and would not hesitate to drop everything and help them, lend an ear when they’re frustrated, help them not to make the same mistakes.

And then we get to see them be wonderful, kind, thoughtful, loving parents in Furubana.

We got to see their adorable, kind, compassionate child be friends with the children of the people Akito hurt, because everyone in the former Zodiac’s family collectively decided “never again, no”.

Their child adores them. Shiki in Furubana #13 radiates love for Akito and Shigure the same way Mutsuki and Hajime do.

They are genuinely good parents, even when they tease Shiki, and I think that is testament for how good they are for each other and how much they’ve changed as adults.

I think that’s enough of a reason to ship them, don’t you?

#Mitkun writes stuff #fruits basket manga spoilers #fruits basket another #fruits basket spoilers #akigure #fruits basket akito #fruits basket shigure

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devourer--of--books · 4 years

Text

Something obvious I noticed about Agatha

Context:

I’m doing a small side-collection of my favorite scenes from WSF that I had to cut off, because just editing them out was making me sad. The first one of those (which should be up soon on AO3, under the name of ‘every memory of the sweet sunshine’) is a scene in which I have Sophie doing a bit of introspection on Agatha’s so-called ‘goodness’.

I cut off the scene for the sake of length (why, why do I always write stuff no asked for, no cares why Agatha has no car in WSF, literally no one asked) and because I didn’t want to mess with Sophie and Agatha’s arc in the fic by making her too self-aware or highlight her opinion on Agatha’s compulsive need to help other people too explicitly just yet.

But then, it occurs to me that Agatha’s behavior is not something exclusive from my fic. In fact, is something that is classical Agatha, noticeble during the entire book 1, TLEA, and even a during QFG (I’m sure it comes up during AWWP too, but I haven't picked that one up in years so I can’t speak for it). It’s a vital part of her character and I think we all know this, but it still made me kinda sad once I started to think about it.

Agatha has low-key (high-key) savior complex

So, I am not a phycologist. I don’t claim to be one either. But I’ve been doing some reading and my google skills pointed towards white knight syndrome? I’m linking the main sources I used bellow).

Hear me out,

- Let’s start with book 1 and Sophie, because I feel like that is the basis of this analysis.

- During most of book 1, we get many reasons as to why Agatha feels the need to go home. She has good reasons, Agatha knows the school is dangerous. Naturally you’d wanna go home, back to safety and bring your only friend (we’ll talk about this in a minute) with you, so they’d be safe too, right? Nothing wrong here.

- But one of the most frequent criticisms of book1!Agatha is that she is very persistent in getting Sophie to go back home with her. Very, with like, major V. Numerous times we see Sophie brush off Agatha’s attempts to help her (in Agatha’s point of view, helping her is getting her home), and it just frustrates her and makes her try harder, despite Sophie’s clear wishes for her to just leave it alone.

- When you read this, didn’t it make you feel tired for Agatha? Burnout and angry at Sophie for not listening to her friend who clearly has her best interests in mind?

- I don’t think we need to highlight every instance in which Sophie was an absolutely horrible friend and trash person to Agatha in book 1, and she just… Took that shit, because ‘they were friends’ and continued to help her (including helping her get with Tedros in service of saving her) because she’s good and the good forgive everything?

- Because good believes no one, not even Sophie, 100% evil, is beyond redemption? Because that’s how normal friendship works? I mean, sounds fake, but okay.

- Agatha literally almost dies a couple of times when Sophie goes psycho-witch on her, but we still see her feel like she needs to save Sophie. Notice that I say needs, and not only wants.

- If you don’t think Agatha and Sophie had a toxic codependent friendship during most of TSY, I don’t think we read the same books?? Their codepency tends to be a major plot point in all books??

- Very rarely do we see dynamics in which one person is 100% toxic by herself. This one is no exception. It’s easy to point out Sophie’s selfish narcissistic (borderline sociopathic) behavior as toxic, because it’s so loud and in our faces, but I don’t think we talk about how Agatha contributes to this dynamic as often as we should.

- We joke about how Agatha lets Sophie get away with everything. How annoying it can be. But why does she let Sophie get away with everything? Why does she enable Sophie’s behavior (through positive reinforcement)? Especially if the goal is to help Sophie, shouldn’t she be more incisive in ‘teaching’ Sophie that her actions have consequences?

- I mostly attributed this to Agatha’s cripplingly low self-esteem. But now that I thought a bit more, I think it’s a bit more than that. Agatha’s endless empathy for Sophie is part of why their friendship ‘works’. But for something to ‘work’, it goes both ways. We know what Sophie gets out of their dynamic: she gets to be chaotic, have Agatha clean up after her and access to bottom-less empathy and love from her. What does Agatha get?

- Mostly, Agatha gets a semi-good-ish friend. Which she thinks is the type of friendship she deserves. But she also gets to serve a purpose. Her life’s work is to save Sophie, solve Sophie’s problems. In fact we don’t see Agatha try to solve any of her own problems until Sophie pushes her away. I think Agatha needs to help Sophie because she envisions Sophie as her one redeeming quality, and linked her own self-worth to how well she can take care of her friend.

- Which is why she always feels so anxious and exhausted all the time. Agatha sacrifices her own well-being in favor of saving Sophie from the consequences of her own actions, even after Sophie tells her not to, because she believes it’s her job. If she’s not saving Sophie, than why is she here at all?

- What Agatha gets out of their dynamic is the emotional high of playing savior. She gets to be in control of something. She feels powerless and frustrated at her own issues, so she has the compulsive need to ‘fix’ others (in this case, Sophie, because Sophie is her only friend).

- Think of how Agatha tells Sophie the reason why she always let her in is because Sophie looks lonely. I don’t think this is entirely true, but there’s some truth to it. Sophie is the ‘perfect fit’ for Agatha because they’re both lonely and vulnerable. Sophie needs a getaway car from her own chaos (instead of facing it head on) and Agatha needs a purpose bigger than herself so she can feel complete.

- This is also partly why I believe she got so defensive and furious when Tedros accuses her of ‘not being able to make Sophie feel loved like he does’. Saving Sophie is a fundamental part of how Agatha defines herself so when he says this, it cuts her deeply.

- Because being Sophie’s friend and savior is directly tied to her own sense of who she is.

- Now, lets move on to how Tedros fits in this, by observing exemples during TLEA and QFG, as well as the end of book 1.

- As soon as Tedros becomes important to Agatha, we see a shift in her behavior. She now needs to protect him. But their dynamic differs from the one between Sophie and Agatha because Tedros not only rejects her help; instead, he wants to be her white knight.

- It confuses Agatha, because so far, being a savior was just her modus operandi and not at all mutual. I think there’s a line in AWWP (I know there’s a comic, so I’m not sure if it’s from that book, but I think it is, if it isn’t ignore this point) where Tedros asks Agatha what she saw in him, and she says something along the lines of him needing someone to protect him the way he protected the people he cared about.

- Tedros’ unconcious wish for someone to take care of him is what draws Agatha in, much like Sophie’s. But Tedros wants a mutual relationship, where Sophie was pretty much one-sided most the time.

- Which is why I think Agatha and Tedros clash so much, but at the same time, why they make a good pair. They’re two idiots trying to save each other. And their relationship’s life work is to figure out how to listen to what the other actually needs, not what they think the other needs. Communication is key, as usual.

- Numerous times in TLEA we hear Tedros complaining that Agatha doesn’t know how to play ‘the princess’, how she bosses him around and treats him like he’s an idiot. That, I believe, is because that is the only way she knows how to express her love: she tries to fix as many of his problems as she can, ignoring what he wants.

- She tells him she has no idea how to be anything else. Because this is all she has ever known. She saves people, they don’t save her. But Tedros wants to save her anyway. So, conflict is created.

- During part two of TLEA, we see perhaps the best example of how Agatha applies this savior narrative to benefit herself.

- When we fall back into an old habit, we don’t usually do it because it feels good. We do it because it feels familiar. And there is comfort in familiarity, especially in familiar pain.

- Agatha is having problems with communicating with Tedros, with sorting out their dynamic and with who she thinks she’s supposed to be without Sophie. So when Sophie crashes in and asks Agatha to give him up in order to fix her problems as well as the entire Woods, Agatha jumps at the chance to play the martyr, because that way she doesn’t have to fix her own problems. Like a get-out-of-jail-free card.

- Pretty sure there’s even a quote from Sophie in TLEA where she points out she could never play Good’s savior. It’s implicit that she thinks this role has always been Agatha’s. It’s what Agatha herself thinks.

- As soon as Tedros is out of the picture, we see Sophie and Agatha’s friendship restored to their codepency glory (that scene where they’re riding and the frog and scorpion analogy, was it a frog, I can’t remember, but you know the one I’m talking about). But somewhere in her mind, Agatha knows this isn’t how it’s supposed to be, because of what Tedros has showed her, and not only Tedros, but also Hester.

- I’ll save Agatha and Hester’s relationship for another dive, as this is already very long, but yeah, not toxic at all, just friends being actual good friends. In fact, most of the time Hester is the one saving Agatha. We’ll see to this later. Anyway, back to my ranting.

- Then we have the wish-fish scene, in my opinion the best Hort-scene in all the books. Hort goes ahead and calls Agatha out on her shit. Shit that she wasn’t even completely conscious she was doing (someone get these kids a therapist omg).

- We get to see tagatha make up, working out their communication issues (!!!!). “You catch me and I catch you” it’s literally the realization that Agatha finally can trust someone enough to ask for help when she needs it and that she can trust him to come to her if he needs her help. That she has finally understood that it’s not her job to save everyone and only Sophie can save herself.

- Why, why did it not end here.

- I’m gonna spare you the QFG bashing (see my other post for that content, lol), but that book did Agatha dirty. I liked that they didn’t erase her progress with Sophie, how they learned to be better friends for each other, but wtf tagatha

- This is an entire book of Agatha feeling like she needs to save Tedros all over again. There’s even an introspective moment in which she explicitly says that in the end of the day, she trusts no one but herself (why, why did you undo the ending of TLEA, why) that breaks my heart.

- Tedros pushing her away, her going behind his back, the internal dialogue Agatha has with herself… Look, I love chapter 6. Chapter 6? Great content. Tedros belatedly noticing he needs to let Agatha in (six months bitch I just-) and asking for her help. Agatha’s savior complex comes full force and she convinces Tedros to let her fix everything. Tedros ends up allowing her to do so because he is desperate. Lots of kissing and touching. My favorite chapter of QFG.

- But since the follow-up is basically Agatha noticing what she’s doing and doing it anyway (contrary to TLEA, in which as soon as she could no longer deny what she was doing she gets her shit together) it just feels like she’s regressing? Her self-worth is no longer tied to saving Sophie from herself after 3 books, only for it to be tied to saving Tedros?

- Anyway, thank you for attending my TEDtalk.

Sources:

https://amenteemaravilhosa.com.br/complexo-de-salvador/

https://www.healthline.com/health/savior-complex#how-it-affects-you

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/complexo-de-salvador-como-ele-pode-impactar-sua-vida-pessoal

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/sociopath

https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-stop-being-codependent

#school for good and evil #the school for good and evil #sge #the last ever after #quests for glory #Agatha of Woods Beyond #Sophie of Woods Beyond #tedros of camelot #Tagatha

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thebarkingraccoon · 3 years

Text

Saṃsāra

Vajra’s story, slight AU. Happy Ending. Takemura x V romance Smut WILL happen - probably a lot

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝟷

Summary: After the failed Heist, Vajra wakes up to a hostile engram and calls a friend.

Word count: 3,067

Warnings: Language

“And you? Who’re you?” A voice echoed faintly, waking her from her sleep.

The apartment was empty and dark. Misty had left an emptiness that slowly consumed the room until Vajra could think of nothing else but how alone she felt.

She tried to think of anything else, anyone else. Those final breaths, feeling his hand go limp in hers... Everything had gone perfectly and they made it to the Relic with little resistance. It wasn’t until an unexpected AV dropped by that pushed them over the edge. Literally, as they had jumped from the ledge to escape.

Every time Vajra found a moment of peace, the sounds of Night City always brought her back. It would remind her of her youth, of meeting Jackie, and getting herself in heaps of trouble that he always came to rescue her from. They were inseparable, even Misty would comment on their companionship. A joke here or there about how Jackie and Vajra were so close she had believed them to be dating when she met Jackie. As soon as Jackie and Misty started dating, Vajra was quick to step back and let them have their privacy.

While Jackie’s relationship with Misty did result in Vajra and him spending less time together, it never changed their friendship. Misty wasn’t intrusive, she was perfect for their tight-knit group. As the old cliche goes; Misty was the puzzle piece they were missing. She gave them both a new perspective they needed and Vajra thought of Misty as family.

Now that Jackie was... gone forever, Vajra could think of nothing but how his absence was hurting her. Misty, the poor girl, had fallen head over heels for Jackie. Without him, Vajra wondered how Misty would fare and if Misty blames her. Vajra blamed herself so she assumed Misty did as well.

Vajra swallowed hard, her throat dry. It took everything in her not to sob as she thought of Jackie’s face. How he’d drag her out of bed, insisting that her sleeping in was keeping her from experiencing everything Night City had to offer. Which didn’t make any sense, Vajra had lived in Night City her entire life. There was nothing new for her to see, but she always humored Jackie anyway.

Her body felt heavy, her wounds partially healed yet still leaving behind a soreness she would have to work through. Slowly she dragged her legs over the edge of the bed. Her bare feet touching the cold floor and she curled her toes, focusing on standing up. There was no doubt in her mind she was unlikely to stand for long. All she wanted was a glass of water, then she could go back to sleep and wallow in her grief.

“Need a smoke, where’d you stash yours?”

Vajra’s eyes widened as she froze in alarm. That voice was here, in her room, and unfamiliar. Her eyes darted around the apartment until she spotted the figure directly beside her. She jumped back, hissing in pain as she pulled on a sore muscle. This man was leaning against the wall looking rather unimpressed by her shock.

“I... don’t smoke.” Her voice sounded so unlike her. The two weeks of downtime really took its toll on her. “How- how are we...?”

“How the fuck should I know?” The dark-haired stranger grunted. Somehow he managed to look even more disappointed in her daze. “The fuck kinda joytoy are you supposed to be?”

Vajra shook her head slowly with a sigh. She didn’t know what to think of this stranger, she had assumed this was the engram in her head that Viktor warned her about. Johnny Silverhand, a rockstar turned terrorist that bombed Arasaka tower fifty years ago. Either she was actually speaking to the engram or she was going crazy; either way, she wanted some water and more sleep.

Turning around to get that glass of water turned out to be a mistake. As she saw her goal, Johnny immediately materialized in front of her. She only had a split second to see the annoyed look on his face before he threw her to the floor. Pain shot up her back and resonated through every sore muscle in her body. Before she could protest his attack, he stepped over her with a fist raised.

“Who do you work for?! Start talkin’!” When he pointed his finger at her, her hand followed suit. It was as if someone had grabbed her hand and started moving it around, she had lost control of that arm entirely.

As the realization set in, Johnny backed away from Vajra. He looked at his hands, to hers, and suddenly a flood of memories came rushing in. There were some gaps and a wealth of memories that were not his own. He moved his hands and Vajra’s copied it. As he recalled a memory it also came into Vajra’s mind, she could see what he saw.

“Fuck...” Johnny was just as surprised by this as Vajra. Neither knew what to do, but while Vajra just wanted some water, Johnny wanted to take his frustration out on her. As he figured out what was happening he grew angry. “Fucking chip. I’ll rip the thing out myself!”

Vajra panicked, “No, no! Wait-!”

Her hand yanked at the chip in her head and her vision went black. There was static, the sound being corrupted as her cybernetics tried desperately to reboot.

By the time her vision came back, she was holding onto the ledge of her window. The weeks she spent unconscious caused her to lose her strength, she needed time to get back up to speed. Yet with Johnny controlling her, she felt just as strong as before. Vajra was helpless as Johnny reeled her back and smashed her head into the glass.

“I’ll take control!” His voice in her head, the smash against the glass; she couldn’t think straight. Her head was throbbing in pain as he forced her into the glass again. “I’ll find a way!”

Vajra was so dazed she couldn’t really make sense of what he said anymore. “You hear me?!” With a final slam, Vajra collapsed to the floor. Johnny lost control as she blacked out.

It was only a minute before Vajra opened her eyes again. She moved her hand relieved to have her body back. Pushing herself off the floor she turned to see the blue pill bottle resting on the ledge of her bed. Johnny paced in front of her, his body flashing in and out as the Relic struggled to project him.

As fast as she could, Vajra snatched the bottle from her bedside and gripped the lid. “Get out of my head!” Only for Johnny to smack it out of her hands, the bottle rolling across the floor.

“Not like that! Stick some iron in your mouth and pull the trigger!” The back of his hand came without warning, forcing her to the floor with the bottle. She was stunned that he could do that, that he could touch her without her own body. Panic grew as she recognized the danger he posed to her. If he wanted to kill her she was in no shape to resist.

“I can feel it... our minds... touching.” Johnny was as confused about it as she was. They both knew what this was, but not how to handle it. This was a first for the world, an engram overwriting a living person. “I’m like mold on fruit... creeping into you. Nothing I can do about it...” He sounded somewhat forlorn about that.

“You hear me?!” Johnny yelled, practically snarling as he bombarded Vajra with this mess of thought. As his mind raced he wondered where he is, what happened to him; Vajra was seeing the same mixed in with her own. The violent whirlwind of disjointed thought and images caused Vajra a terrible migraine.

“I’d puke if I fuckin could!” Every time he spoke his projection teleported around the room. Blue lines of corruption from the Relic kept blinking him in and out of her sight. “It’s just a copy of the engram - I’m out there somewhere, gotta be...”

As he paced, Vajra worked her way to the pills. She wanted this to be over, her head hurt so terribly she felt it might split in two. Looking at Johnny, it might be too late anyway. Vajra dragged her weak body across the floor, “Get out... of my head...” Her voice was so weak she could barely get the words out.

Johnny was unable to take control again though he tried. He had to watch as Vajra snatched a pill from the floor and swallowed it. She rolled onto her back, staring up as Johnny stood over her. He didn’t say a word, only glared from behind his aviators as the medicine began to work.

Within moments Johnny vanished, suppressed by Viktor’s medication. Relief washed over Vajra as she felt the pain beginning to subside. Still sore and laying on the hard floor, she was far from being pain-free. Still, having Johnny out of the way, for now, was a start.

Vajra woke in the early morning with the sun still rising. She groaned as her stiff body protested against her movements. Cold and sore, Vajra felt as though she had slept on a rock. Pressing her palm under her she realized she had passed out on the floor exactly where she was when Johnny was repressed. There was simply nothing left in her after Johnny attacked her so she had closed her eyes where she was.

Hearing her back pop she knew she would regret it for the rest of the day. There was nothing but joint stiffness and exhaustion in her future.

She had to get moving again, there was work to be done, and laying around her apartment won’t help her. Viktor warned her the Relic was killing her slowly and she had to find a way to have it removed safely. There was no time to waste, she had already been out for two weeks. That was lost time spent recovering from a gunshot to the head, but it still meant she had to play catch up.

Grabbing a drink from the vending machine, she turned to her desk to check her messages. As expected it had been filled with spam. Several male endowment products, some about cybernetic enhancements for work and daily life. Finally a message from her complex stating that her rent is overdue... Vajra sighed as she imagined what late fee they were going to give her this time.

Taking one long gulp of her drink she was startled by her ringtone. Vajra coughed as she looked at the ID. Takemura? She didn’t know anyone by that name, but the image on the caller ID showed her his face. Though her memories of that day were incomprehensible, she did recognize the face.

Saburo Arasaka’s personal bodyguard. The man that had begun to scan her and Jackie inside Yorinobu’s penthouse. He wasn’t just any Arasaka agent; he was the best of the best. Saburo made him his bodyguard for a reason. This man was undeniably dangerous and Vajra truly did not want to get involved with him. Whatever he wanted she assumed it wouldn’t be in her best interest.

It didn’t take her long to decide to reject his call. The ringing stopped and Vajra tried to put him out of her mind... Though she had an issue doing so. She remembered the junkyard, Takemura killing Dex, and pulling her into his car. That look on his face told her more than she wanted to know. She couldn’t tell if it was hatred or just how he looked. Some people had the misfortune of resting bitch face. Didn’t much matter, he was Arasaka and though he brought her to Viktor, it didn’t change that he was a threat to her.

So she tried even harder to pretend she never heard his call. As far as she was concerned there is no man named Takemura and...

Vajra looked down solemnly to her drink. Takemura saved her, he pulled her from the junkyard and they survived an attack together. After they crashed things go blurry, but she recalled reaching Delamain. The next thing she saw was Takemura leaning over her, inspecting something. Delamain gave him instructions to save her and Takemura hesitated for a moment before the A.I. cabdriver warned him she would die anyway.

He saved her. Vajra felt a bit guilty for rejecting his call, some need to thank him for saving her... but she worried he would want something from her. Life debts were simply not in her moral code. She owed no one her life and she wanted no one to owe her theirs.

While she was grateful to be alive she knew she was on borrowed time. She was dying and there was nothing Viktor, much less Takemura, could do about that. Whatever Takemura called her for was his business, she wasn’t about to do business with an Arasaka agent.

Vajra winced as she thought of her friend, Ryker. He was with Arasaka for a while before he got pushed out by a higher up. Those corpo rats were corrupt and Ryker was nearly killed. When Ryker was still with Arasaka she did do work for him, helped him whenever he needed it. So she had done work for Arasaka technically.

It didn’t matter, this was different. Ryker is her friend, someone she trusts with her life and trusts her in return. Takemura is an unknown, someone whose morals were whatever Saburo Arasaka deemed them to be. Even worse, she was there when Saburo was murdered. Takemura may believe her to be the murderer. After all, why would he believe her over Saburo’s own son? She had less credibility than Yorinobu from what she could see.

He might wish to take her in, as it were. Pin the murder on her and Jackie...

That made little sense, if he wanted to do that why had Arasaka’s own send a hit squad after them both?

Vajra groaned in frustration. So much had gone wrong so quickly, she had lost control and she hated losing control. The feeling of her life slipping through her fingers, unable to do anything about it left her in such a terrible state. She was defensive, cornered. On one hand, she was trapped with Johnny, an engram slowly killing her and threatened to kill her anyway. The other was Arasaka, the events in Konpeki, and Takemura.

There was no graceful way out of her situation. As of now, Vajra was forced to take a defensive stance against everyone. She wasn’t safe in her own head and she had to remain inconspicuous on the streets, lest Arasaka finds her.

She slipped into her clothes and headed into her stash. There was a collection of her things from the night she returned from Konpeki. A duffle zipped and secured, brought in by Misty. As she dug into the bag she pulled out Kongou, the weapon of Yorinobu Arasaka. It was a fine weapon, she wasn’t going to pass it up.

Clothes in the bag were laundered yet her shirt and jacket of that night were missing. She was thankful for that, Viktor likely having tossed them entirely. They were stained with Jackie’s blood and Vajra never wanted to see them again.

Lastly, Vajra pulled out a katana she had stolen from Konpeki. The blade of Saburo Arasaka; Satori. She slotted it into the stash wall on display before making her way out of her apartment.

Once she breathed in the thick air outside, she felt an immediate pain of loss. It was the understanding that Jackie would not be waiting for her outside, he would not be asking to borrow her car to take Misty out. She would never see him again and it took the wind out of her.

She needed to hear a friendly voice, she had to.

As her list of contacts flashed, she found Ryker’s name and called him. Vajra needed to hear him, she was desperate to know someone was still here. Jackie was dead and she had this irrational fear that somehow Ryker was too. Though he was not in Konpeki when everything went down, he had been in the hotel before that.

The second it started ringing, Ryker answered.

“Vajra!” Seeing him even over a call was a relief like no other. He seemed distressed and she understood why. “You’re awake. Vik said he’d call me when you woke up.”

She leaned over the railing, looking down to the floors below. “I’m sure he just wanted to make sure I had some time to myself. It’s been... rough.”

Ryker nodded, his eyes searching for something to say, anything that would help. “Do you... want to talk? I can meet you, I got some free time.”

“Ryker, you’re the busiest person I know. You never have free time.” Vajra narrowed her eyes suspiciously at him. Though she started to smile, Ryker took this far more seriously. He wasn’t one to mess around when a friend was hurting and while he grieved Jackie’s passing, he knew she would need him.

“I’ll make time.”

With a drawn-out sigh, Vajra shrugged. An out of place smile on her face, “If you insist. Can we get something to eat? I’m starving.”

Quick to agree, Ryker finally returned with a faint smile. “Meet me at Jinya? Could go for some good ramen.”

“Be there in about an hour.” With a nod, Ryker ended the call. He seemed stressed out, which wasn’t uncommon. He was a hard worker and the last two weeks weighed heavily on him. So much time passed without a word from Vajra. When Ryker saw the news about Saburo and got a call from Viktor, he expected to be told Jackie and Vajra were dead. Instead, that was only partially right.

Vajra made her way to the elevator, slowly working off her stiff joints. She was excited to see Ryker, but there was a creeping fear he held her responsible for Jackie’s death. Nothing was telling her that, only her own deep-rooted fear.

She hit the ground floor button and waited. Even with all these people rushing through the streets, Night City felt dead without Jackie to light it up.

#Cyberpunk 2077 #CP77 #cyberpunk 2077 fanfiction #Fanfiction

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notthatiwilleverwriteit · 5 years

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thanks for ur as always deepful analyses and answers ! another ask for u : im soo afraid in the next chapter momo will be homophobic towards ht !! I mean except Zzx who seems at ease with his sexuality, the other boys all seem kind of homophobic. Jy called ht repulsive bc he called him pretty while he was a guy, Ht is very agressive in his advances (which i linked to toxic virility which entails homophobia) ; then both of them changed for the better bc of their feelings for another man. 1/?

Good evening, dear anon-san!

“thanks for ur as always deepful analyses and answers !”

I’m glad you’ve enjoyed them! Every time people send me questions it always makes me happy and to be honest, a bit taken aback because I’m just a little old me. But I’m glad my answers have had such a positive reception and given people food for thought. And it’s always a pleasant surprise when people feel like they can come to my ask box with their interpretations and strike up a conversation.

Homophobia is a very complex topic, and I wondered where I should start to unravel this ask. But soon I realized before I can even begin that I have to take a moment to sort out my own feelings. Whenever people say the boys in 19 Days are abusive or homophobic for whatever reason I tend to get ticked off. It’s a knee-jerk reaction, often sparked by my own bias, but something that can very easily cloud my answer and make it unfair for you. Exchanging interpretations and perspectives requires a level of objectivity and the ability to rise above your own bias. I can’t dismiss something just because it uncomfortably pokes my nerve. Instead, I should take a step back, try and see things from another point of view, and find some common ground.

I’m not saying I had to struggle to agree with you on anything but your ask certainly reminded me of how challenging yet rewarding it is to actually listen to an interpretation that differs from my own and try to objectively look at the story from that point of view. It hurts your brain at first but is surprisingly freeing in the end.

Because you addressed so many things in your ask, I will tie my answer together under the theme of homophobia and give it some structure that way. This will be my great 19 Days - homophobia edition. \(^v^)/

Sexual orientation and environment

Let’s start with the biggest context you brought up in your ask: social and cultural environment. I’m not familiar enough with Chinese culture to have anything definite to say about its attitude towards LGBT people. Of course, I’ve heard of the discrimination and even blatant hate by their government but I don’t have any idea about how ordinary, modern-day Chinese people view others with different sexual orientations. Not to mention, it’s always risky to take fictional works as an accurate representation of the milieu in which they’re set.

But I do think that 19 Days discusses homophobia in societies, though on a more general level. As Jian Yi has come to realize his feelings towards Zhan Zheng Xi, we’ve also gotten glimpses of his struggles. They’re surrounded by other kids in school, and from the very early chapters it’s been implied two guys being that close together or comfortable with that level of skinship turns people’s heads (ch. 53, 54, 55, and 57):

Of course, those panels also poke fun at the stereotype of girls being interested in cute guys being cute together. The girls stare, take pictures, and even smile knowingly. This bothered ZZX because it put him in awkward situations and created misunderstandings that would be embarrassing to correct. And the more he would try to deny and correct them, the more he would probably end up looking suspicious. But the bottom line is, he was increasingly conscious of the weird looks and attention JY’s antics were attracting and didn’t want people to get the wrong picture of his friendship with JY. All of that could give us some hints on how two boys being close might be viewed by their peers, but it should also be kept in mind that those kinds of “gay panic” moments are a big part of the humor you find in 19 Days.

Having a crush on someone of the same gender gets more serious tones after JY kissed ZZX (ch. 142)

The secret was finally out in the open. JY had carried his feelings in his heart for a long time. He had wanted to confess them so many times and often hidden them behind jokes and antics. Perhaps every time he had jumped to hug ZZX he had caught a whiff of his scent and enjoyed the feeling of him in his arms. But to take the definite last step of confessing and lifting that curtain had always terrified him. And who wouldn’t have been scared? Not only would you have to come out but also risk losing your childhood best friend. It could be JY had even thought of never telling ZZX about his feelings because it could go horribly wrong.

For a while, things are somewhat put on pause after the first reveal which I found very realistic. JY wasn’t flat-out rejected but ZZX most definitely needed a moment to sort out his own feelings. He pestered JY to be straight with him (pun not intended...) and made it clear it would be safe for JY to rely on him and free himself of the burden. Despite that JY was still very unsure if his confession won’t result in ZZX abandoning him because “gay” is abnormal and disgusting (ch. 164):

Even when JY finally confessed he was expecting to be rejected in disgust (ch. 209):

But he had sort of reached the point of just finally getting it all out even if ZZX wouldn’t return his feelings. Even if it meant they wouldn’t be friends anymore. At least he had said it. He had heartbreakingly little faith that their kind of relationship wouldn’t be completely doomed. Thank god he had fallen for someone like ZZX. I don’t think I’ve never been as grateful for a character like him before.

A tangible example of how Zhanyi and their environment collided was Xiao Hui’s character (ch. 158):

When she called JY a disgusting gay, it was the first time he was facing that kind of homophobia. Though her actions were frustrating, I think Xiao Hui’s character was a good addition to Zhanyi. At first, she lashed out both because she was hurt and publicly humiliated but also no doubt because she had internalized the idea that heterosexuality was the norm and anything else was abnormal and wrong. Later on, she had had time to lick her wounds and calm down (ch. 258):

She still has a crush on ZZX but even though she probably realizes she doesn’t have a chance she still wants a clear rejection from ZZX. It still hurts and stings but doesn’t upset her as much. It could even be she’s a little happy for them. I think Xiao Hui’s character is a good example that people are capable of changing and reflecting when they’re given a chance. And no one should be forever held accountable and punished for the mistakes they made and have since bettered themselves.

In a broader sense, I think Zhanyi also discusses what kind of future a same-sex couple could have in society (ch. 268):

That drawing on the wall is my favorite Zhanyi moment. As cute as ZZX drawing him and JY together was, it also carries some bittersweet undertones. The original drawing represents the norm: a boy and a girl in love but if there are no skirts involved, it’s a whole other story. To be open about their relationship would most probably never be an option for JY and ZZX. Something as simple as holding hands in public would take courage and threaten to complicate other aspects of their lives (school, work, family). They don’t have the same privilege as straight people to openly and safely share their feelings and have that universal experience.

Your ask was mainly about Mo Guan Shan and He Tian, but I wanted to take a moment to talk about their environment since you also referred to it. And the easiest way for that seemed to be to talk about the progress of Zhanyi. As you suggested, it does seem the society in which all of the characters live is very much heteronormative which puts pressure on the characters to fit in. And if they fail that, they will face homophobia and most probably feel the need to hide their true selves. Case in point, Zhanyi.

Boys being boys

As much as I know that phrase is deemed Problematic™ these days, I think it fits the dynamics of the boys of 19 Days. They mess with each other, and all of that is typical humor for the comic. Personally, I’ve never taken any of their teasing and good-natured bullying seriously because it’s how 15-year-old boys are around each other.

However, I just finished talking about the environment under which influences and discourses the boys have grown up. I don’t feel like I can ignore what I had just been saying and brush it off as “oh well, they’re just boys” if they’ve always been surrounded by certain attitudes. Does that mean the boys have also internalized those attitudes towards gay people despite having feelings for someone of the same sex? Does that make them a representation of toxic masculinity and internalized homophobia?

In all honesty, I’m struggling to answer those questions. On one hand, I do agree that society’s norms of what is masculine put a lot of pressure on boys when growing up. You have to act, talk, dress, and be in a certain way to be accepted, and it doesn’t take a lot for kids to internalize those ideas. And as you said, acting or looking gay (not to mention, actually being one) is probably the worst a young boy could be. Being gay is often linked to everything a proper man shouldn’t be: sissy, effeminate, sensitive, weak, submissive, on the bottom. The list goes on and on.

On the other hand, do I think you can see that in the four main boys of 19 Days? I suppose it’s possible if that’s the direction you want to take. If you look at anything through those lenses, you can probably find toxic masculinity everywhere. Do I think HT, MGS, JY and ZZX are homophobic because they possibly showcase traits of toxic masculinity? I guess. I don’t know. I see where that interpretation comes from, but some part of my brain never manages to make the full connection between those two. I’m constantly having a feeling that my way of thinking differs from your interpretation but I can’t properly validate or argue my opinions.

Perhaps taking a look at the examples you mentioned might help. You talked about JY being homophobic when this was his response to HT calling him good looking (ch. 108):

I can’t exactly deny that panel couldn’t be taken as toxic masculinity. I might even agree with you on that. I wouldn’t probably go as far as saying JY was being homophobic but it does seem like his masculinity was threatened or questioned in that situation. Interestingly, I’ve seen that phrase pop up a lot in yaoi/shounen-ai comics. Characters who are in a gay relationship don’t often feel comfortable with guys complimenting them - or even the guy they’re in love with. I’ve always wondered that. Does that mean there’s a level of self-denial in those characters or is it just a cultural thing? Does it embarrass them?

In general, I think all of that has to do with their age, and another good example of that would be ZZX and JY’s reaction to HT messing with MGS (ch. 289 and 298):

I’ve seen people calling those moments homophobic as well and can’t really agree with them. I would say those reactions have more to do with teenage boys being awkward and embarrassed. HT putting the moves on MGS in front of them is embarrassing and something they don’t wish to see. I mean, I wouldn’t want to see my friends constantly acting like that around me either. Seeing public displays of affection embarrasses me and makes me awkward as hell. (Though, I don’t know if that’s just a Finnish thing...)

In short, I see a lot of how the boys act around each other just natural to how teenage boys are. They mess with each other and standing up for yourself in that sense (for example, getting revenge, being physical, or returning the verbal teasing) is important and typical. That’s how I see JY’s words in the example you mentioned: he felt like HT was messing with him and shot back. All of that could, of course, be seen as internalized toxic masculinity, but I don’t think it’s quite as blatant as people sometimes make it out to be. I’ve always taken it as boys just being boys and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

What comes to HT being pushy and overbearing, I don’t see that being connected to toxic masculinity and making him homophobic because of that. It feels a bit of a stretch and shakey. Instead, I actually think HT is quite comfortable with both of his own feelings for MGS and the idea of same-sex relationships in general (ch. 187):

The little heart-to-hearts JY and HT occasionally have also show us that despite often making fun of each other, they can take it more seriously when needed. JY would have never asked about having feelings for another male if he couldn’t trust HT wouldn’t make fun of him.

The case of Mo Guan Shan

You talked a lot about MGS, so I thought I’d take a closer look at his character separately. You made some interesting points I’ve also been thinking about and was glad they popped up in your ask.

Since we’ve talked about toxic masculinity so far, let’s continue on that. You mentioned that MGS is prone to homophobia because he’s had to act tough. Upholding a certain kind of image is essential in gangs. Being weak and submissive - aka gay, as I talked about above - isn’t an option in that line of work.

I agree with you on all of that. Why MGS is so uncomfortable with HT being physical with him is at least partly because he can’t come across as someone who can be taken advantage of (ch. 250):

If he can be physically overpowered and made vulnerable, it means he can be submitted. In the masculine world, physical strength seems to be the final and ultimate law that settles all the disputes at the latest. And if you lose in that you’re on the bottom or at least lower on the hierarchy. Now, multiply that mentality by a lot to fit it in the world of teenage gangs and the borderline criminal underworld. So, yes, I would most definitely say MGS doesn’t want himself to be put in that situation. Much less anyone finding out about it.

Then again, the story has kind of revisited that idea when HT “joined” MGS’s gang and his underlings started seeing HT around more. And they seem somewhere between intimidated by HT and impressed their boss has managed to make someone like HT call him “brother”. That fits the same mentality of strength, but I can’t honestly see Buzzcut or other members of the gang giving MGS a hard time even if they found out about HT’s affections. Chances are, they would be even more impressed, bless them.

Overall, I think MGS lashing out (or being homophobic) is mostly due to him not trusting HT and HT slowly but surely wearing him out and making him see his own prejudice against people like HT. Yelling out insults has been the easiest way to fight HT’s affections, although it’s not proven very successful. It’s also important to remember MGS is fairly inexperienced when it comes to love and romantic affection (ch. 222):

He’s always been rejected and discriminated by his peers and over the years, he’s started to mirror that behavior and push people away. Having crushes (let alone having a girlfriend) has never really been a concern for him. And it’s not like he’s had time for something like romance anyway because working has taken so much of his time. In this regard, MGS isn’t that mature or experienced and tends to get uncomfortable and lash out very quickly.

I’ve already talked about the note and what kind of role I think it will have (if it will be addressed at all). And I’m not really worried about MGS saying something homophobic to HT. I think we’re way past of him being like “I don’t speak to a homo” at this point already. He’s been aware of HT’s affections for a good while by now and even tentatively warmed up to some of it (for example, the aquarium date and the studs). (Even though, I think it’s still too early to talk about MGS being in love with HT.)

MGS has come a long way, and I might even say he’s gained some sexuality-related maturity on the way. Slowly but surely, he’s become comfortable with having HT around, and if after all this development he would say something like that, it would be a pretty big step backward. Of course, that doesn’t mean he can’t throw insults and lash out but let’s not forget we’re talking about a purebred tsundere here. That’s always going to happen with him.

And while we’re keeping it real, it’s not like HT would pay any mind to those insults. After MGS asked for the studs, I think HT’s resolve has only strengthened.

I hope this answer makes some sense, to me it feels like a bit of a mess of this and that. A lof of “I can’t deny that but still...” You really threw some hard questions and challenged my thinking a lot. Thank you!

#19 days #tianshan #zhanyi #Jian Yi #He Tian #mo guan shan #Zhan zheng xi #answered ask

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punchflower · 3 years

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finished the first playthrough of CP2077 and now that I know what I want my actual V to be, spoilers, thoughts, and V headcannons below the read more so beware

Somehow I messed up in the friendship’o’meter w Johnny in my last playthrough somehow??? and couldn’t break the 70% mark and didn’t get the secret ending so, that sucked I wanted my “real” playthrough V to be street kid but honestly I’m so attached to the narrative/complexity of a V that used to be corpo, got fucked over by arasaka, and likely heard of the boogeyman Silverhand through arasaka before getting stuck with said Silverhand as her brainworm. Because then there’s the fun dynamic of the ex-corpo who’s already headed down the “fuck corpos” path, butting heads with Johnny before realizing that he’s right (to an extent).

I also like the idea of Johnny being very guns-blazing style and a tech/int corpo V being more low-key quickhack centric that Johnny underestimates until V gets the Big quickhacks like suicide/system reset and can God Mode her way through any area without being seen, and even take down targets from an entire building away (min/max’d quickhacks V is literally God Mode, it’s stupid, I was able to do hit missions without stepping foot in the mission areas, just ping the first guy, scan the others for the target, suicide quickhack and bingo bongo it’s done).But then at somepoint V starts picking up handguns, gets a little less stealthy the more Johnny influences her.

Also the way my V ended up playing out was very nihilistic, didn’t want to commit to a relationship because she’s gonna die anyway right? Backed out at the last minute with both River and Judy. Just kind of, closes herself off from the world, relationships, and even friendships after the heist.

Headcannons for my “cannon” V: - Corpo who went into arasaka to be a netrunner, tried to climb the ladder, and got transfer to counter-intelligence instead and resented every minute of it - has the spooky black with white grid eyes because it unnerved people she worked with in arasaka - fatalistic as hell but if she’s going to go, she wants to go out in a blaze of glory - not sure if she deserves the second chance that she got - rejected Judy because fatalist but also because Judy is still hung up on Evelyn - rejected River because fatalist but also because River’s family is sweet and has already been through a lot, and knowing how things’ll likely end, she doesn’t want them to get attached and be heartbroken - the more influence Johnny has the more it subtly impacts a lot of things she does, her sense of fashion starts changing, the music she listens to on the radio changes, the drinks she gets at bars, and suddenly she finds her hand always itching for a cigarette - also The Tattoo, so many thoughts about The Tattoo because it’s a joke but - is it? 👀

#pf plays cyberpunk 2077 #i have more hc's than this specific to the johnny/v dynamic but i will not share those yet #i am contemplating writing Sin for those hc's #i will inevitably post photos of my real V once I make her

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lemon-writings · 4 years

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Hamish Update: Hamish Pt. II

Genre: Adult literary fiction // Status: Rewriting // Progress: 53,548 words

Pt. I

I’m back with chapters IV-VI! Hoo boy, is it an event.

Chapter IV

Epitaph: “The things that go unsaid are often the things that eat at you--whether because you didn't get to have your say, or because the other person never got to hear you and really wanted to.”-Celeste Ng, Everything I Never Told You

This is the chapter where we meet Ofelia! She is one of my favorite characters to write for. She is beautiful and wonderful and a goddess and I adore her. (I’m reading myself for filth through the character of Ofelia because she is literally both my type and the woman I’ve always wanted to be.) Ofelia is the Queen of Roasts.

There are also some confrontations between Hamish and his mother, which I live for.

Excerpts:

First of all, I love Ofelia. Ofelia Bello, if you are free this Thursday, I’m free to hang out any time. Again, Ofelia Bello, if you are on Thursday, I’m free to hang out. Please.

She’s a goddess. Literal goddess.

She looked at me, eyes large and all-seeing, more like fire opals set into the bronze of her face than eyes. I felt as though she were seeing into the very essence of my being, judging me like a god. Ofelia was one of those people who would never be referred to as mortal. She was Prithvi; she was Freyja; she was Persephone. She was anything but mortal, made of fire, flowers, and knowledge.

And a savage. She’s That Bitch every moment of every day, even when she has her “perfect daughter and sister” persona on. And when she doesn’t? Well...

“You could fight back,” she said. “You could make yourself known, reveal who and what you are. Scream, I’m a person, not a thing.” Ofelia fixes the wisps of hair arranged around her face into a perfect frame.

“I’m not a fighter,” I said.

“No,” Ofelia said, watching me carefully. “You’re a runner.” She uncrossed her legs and stretched them out. “He doesn’t like fighters. That’s me. That’s my brother. He loves runners. If you can confront your issues, you won’t stay for long.”

Hamish confronting his mother when she dismisses his childhood trauma is honestly *chef’s kiss*. Writing my characters being savages is one of my favorite things to do, right after dramatic, floral descriptions of women.

(TW: referenced child abuse!)

“Ungrateful for what? My nightmares? My feelings of abandonment? My hatred of authority? Thank you so much for everything you’ve done for me, mother. Without yours and father’s amazing parenting, I would’ve grown up to be a well-adjusted adult.”

And the trademark Soft Moment of the chapter.

(TW: death mention!)

“Don’t die,” you whispered, hot and damp against my face. “Please don’t die.”

“I won’t,” I promised you, so open and honest it felt like I’d cracked open my ribs to expose my child’s-heart to you like a blossoming flower.

The tension between all the characters has increased so much in this chapter and tbh the anticipation is killing me, and I know what happens in this book.

Chapter V

Epitaph: “At parties I point to my body and say This is where love comes to die. Welcome, come in, make yourself at home. Everyone laughs, they think I’m joking.”--Warsan Shire, “The House”

This chapter begins with Hamish and Horacio in an interview about their “relationship”. There’s something lovely about the way that Horacio and Hamish talk about each other, even if it is built on half-truths. Then we’re introduced to Leon, Ofelia’s brother, and oh boy. Oh boy. Is that a wild ride.

This is also the chapter where Hamish begins planning how he’s going to get Claude to confess to the murder, via a PowerPoint presentation. Yes. Yes, good.

Excerpts:

The first is when Horacio is asked when he knew he was in love with Hamish. It’s just... soft. As a former theatre kid, this really is the dream.

“No,” I said, tearing my eyes from you. “We were in Theatre 101 together, and he was reading Doctor Faustus and playing all the parts. He was jumping around and doing different voices, being really dramatic and having the time of his life. It was the first time I’d seen him act young instead of like a wistful old man.”

I didn’t tell her that you’d been wearing a black hoodie with the moon phases printed on it, the strings following you as you leaped from place to place, sticking your tongue out when you fumbled a line, your tongue stud glittering in the lights. It felt too intimate to share with the world. When I saw you in the lights, being a goofy young man for even just a moment, in your purest state of adorable in your glee, my heart expanded well past the confines of my too-tight ribcage.

Here’s Horacio’s mention of his past ex-boyfriends, because he can hardly believe that he is in a semi-functional relationship with anyone, even if it’s fake.

(TW: sex and abuse!)

It was simple symbiosis: I was a parasite, and they were the hosts, defending themselves against me with violence. I don’t think any of them ever loved me, just loved using me while I would use them, trying to nibble on their scraps of affection between beatings and the rough sex.

Leon is... a lot. He’s sort of obsessed with masculinity, like someone who watched Fight Club without really realizing it’s meant to be satire and wants to punch whoever talks shit about him.

Leon was one of those guys who either believed he was better than you or you weren’t worth his time. Sometimes, in his more complex moments, he would believe both at once; at his most simplistic, he would believe neither.

The further I go in this work, the more difficult it gets to pick excerpts!

Chapter VI

Epitaph: “Even still, we run. We have not reached our average of 57.92 years without knowing that you run through it, and it hurts and you run through it some more, and if it hurts worse, you run through it even more, and when you finish, you will have broken through. In the end, when you are done, and stretching, and your heartbeat slows, and your sweat dries, if you've run through the hard part, you will remember no pain.”--Lauren Groff, The Monsters of Templeton

Hamish gives the presentation. It goes about as well as you can assume. Now that Genoveva and Claude know he’s onto them... it’s game time. There is so much plot that happens in this chapter that I can’t really mention much of it, other than this being the point where the work goes from a slow-building horror to more of a thriller. It’s a major turning point and climax. Whoo!

Also, Ofelia and Horacio bond, which is awesome! I love the dynamic between them. They have the sort of friendship where you can tell that they really enjoy each other and their company.

Excerpts:

Most of these are from the portion where Ofelia and Horacio are talking in the woods because 1.) it’s the least-spoilery part of this chapter and 2.) their friendship is one of the most light-hearted parts of this work. Please, allow me to indulge.

Ofelia isn’t necessarily a “bean”, but she’s still babey. I adore her.

Ofelia gave me a mysterious look, full of night sky and brilliance, then added a crescent of a smile. She began climbing, one foot and then the other, effortlessly lifting herself up the branches as if she was built to do nothing but ascend trees, her tights protecting her modesty from me as I struggled up after her, unused to the climb.

And then Ofelia describes a dream of mine every wlw: going a group of young women and becoming the modern Sappho.

“I think I’ll buy a house somewhere by the ocean. Live with a group of girls who love books and pictures. Become my own Sappho, create my own Lesbos.”

Then there’s this astute observation from Horacio about how Hamish views himself. Hamish doesn’t have a very good self-image. At all. Then again, neither does Horacio.

You’d make yourself into an object sometimes, a cyclone of emotions and pain, held together by frozen flesh and string.

So that just about wraps up these chapters. IV-VI really is the most intense part of this work, and writing it is is just as intense as the chapters themselves.

Songs:

The music is mostly what I’ve been listening to while editing this post, since I already wrote these chapters, but they’re still jams

Your Love (Deja Vu) - Glass Animals

In the Heat of the Moment - Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds

Blood In the Cut - Seattle Sessions - K.Flay

Peach Scone - Hobo Johnson

That’s all for now! Part III will contain the falling action/the part where it gets Real.

Tell me if you’d like to be added to the tag list! :)

#wip: hamish #writing update #writing project #amwriting #writeblr #tw: abuse #tw: death mention #tw: sex #i adore Ofelia so much #and Horacio #these characters are terrible awful people. i love them so much

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ice-cream-nekogirl · 4 years

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I just wanna make you feel okay But all you do is look the other way, mm I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't wanna stay I just kinda wish you were gay ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bPEjcgytN8

Amy and Midoriya:

Believe it or not, Midoriya just might be another one of Amy’s most complex and complicated relationships, second to her’s and Fiona’s, which is saying something. The only thing Midoriya and Fiona have in common at all though is their closeness to the young witch and the fact that they both ended up breaking her heart. Midoriya is also living proof of how Amy can go from intensely loving someone one moment, to intensely hating them the next...

They didn’t always have a rocky relationship though, it just... got strained along the way but don’t worry! There’s a happy ending!

Amy met Midoriya as a child, and ironically, she ended up saving him from Bakugo when he was bullying him. She attacked him because he was picking on a defenseless Midoriya, which really surprised the latter since no one’s ever attempt to stop Bakugo from being a jerk. Amy took an immediate liking to Midoriya as they ran away from Bakugo and his friends at the time, and even already gave him a nickname ‘Greenie’. She sympathized with him since he was quirkless and although she didn’t tell him that she was really a witch and that her powers just emerged, she still comforted the boy when he said that he really wanted to be a hero. Amy expressed her faith in Midoriya, and said that he was going to be a great hero some day because he’s a nice guy. Their friendship was short-lived when Amy moved to New Orleans, but they reunited when she returned to Japan and met him again at the UA Entrance exams.

Excited, Amy happily greeted him and asked if he remembered her, and once he got a glimpse of her powers, he remembered her as the girl with the teleportation power much to her delight. Amy instantly clung to Midoriya and declared herself as his ‘new best friend’, which rather annoyed Shinsou, who she had also reunited with beforehand. In truth though, Amy’s fondness of Midoriya was actually a crush as she notes that he got ‘cuter’ 4 years later and was happy to see that he was still the determined and kind-hearted boy she met in the past. Although this ended up in her being very jealous of other girls, but especially Uraraka, who Amy often secretly pushed with her telekinesis whenever she got too close to Midoriya. Although she was perfectly fine with Hatsume and Toga whenever they were getting close to Midoriya, and she even happily chatted with Toga about how cute he was.

On his side, Midoriya was both happy to see her and have her as a new friend but was also extremely flustered by her physically affectionate and hands-on attitude as she frequently hugged him and held his hands, arms and shoulders and overall made him very nervous. Nonetheless, Midoriya began to view her as a good friend and someone that he can rely on despite her flightiness as Amy proved to be a good help whenever she gave him emotional support and cheered him up by being her silly self especially when she hung around him, Uraraka and Iida.

Midoriya became used to Amy’s personality and knew that she could be relied on to lighten up the mood since she was almost always smiling and being funny, which he admired. Midoriya notes that Amy is a good person and good in a tense situation because she can bring the laughter and smiles back on people’s faces. But Amy also ends up surprising Midoriya though during the USJ incident and when she showed up to help him, Iida and Todoroki fight off the Hero Killer Stain as he was amazed by her fighting spirit and skills with magic. Midoriya had and still has a lot of respect for Amy because of her skillset in witchcraft and the power she has, although he is also bewildered by her tendency to be lazy and preference to goof off. Despite this, Midoriya’s respect for her grows when Amy proves to be reliable both in and out of battle and Amy was amazed by his strength and kind heart.

Sadly, their relationship slowly began to skew as Midoriya began to grow as a person and start prioritizing his new goals to become stronger above most of everything so he can become a better hero. Amy was aware of Midoriya’s goals but was oblivious to his gradual maturation as she continued to joke around and entertain him which only made her look much more immature in comparison and she ended up becoming clingy. She slowly became grating towards Midoriya because of this, but he was too polite to turn her away and merely humored her because he liked seeing her happy and still regarded her as a good friend.The Kamino Ward Arc is where their relationship began to slowly sour when Amy gets captured with Bakugo, and discovers that he, Kirishima, Todoroki, Iida and Yaoyorozu went to rescue them on their own without any knowledge of the pro-heroes. While Amy was impressed that he broke the rules, she was also irritated with the fact that his main priority at the time was Bakugo, and that he didn’t think far ahead given that Amy and Bakugo were trapped with 7 dangerous villains at the time and Midoriya and his friends were still merely novices at the time. She irritably chides him for being reckless and when she was rescued by Madison instead, she also asks him if he even knew that she was alive. A shocked Midoriya doesn’t answer, and Amy leaves without a word.

Amy did want to forgive Midoriya for unintentionally forgetting about her, and as she spent her time interning with Mallory and Madison she expressed the hope that maybe confessing her feelings to him would improve on their relationship. And when she returns after the Internship arc and expresses pride in Midoriya initially for taking down Overhaul and rescuing young Eri, but that pride gets instantly dissipated when she hears more details surrounding the entire rescue operation. When she hears how it resulted in the death of a hero, several heroes getting injured and some of their friends, including their teacher, getting injured all for the sake of one that they didn’t even know well Amy gets very upset. To the point where she starts yelling and calls Midoriya an idiot for his recklessness and states that he has no idea what he’s doing, and the two of them get in a verbal fight as Midoriya tells Amy that she has no place to speak since she’s just as reckless, if not more so than he is. But Amy remarks that she’s not reckless to the point of sacrificing her friends’ lives for a stranger he just met, only for Midoriya to point out that it’s a heroes job to protect the innocent lives.

However, Eri’s rescue also negatively enlightened Amy as she compared her own rescue to the former’s less than meaningful and positive one, and the witch realizes that she never received that kind of care, nor did the heroes showcase that kind of determination to give her a better life as they did for Eri, which greatly angers and hurts her when she recollects what kind of harsh life she had ever since she was rescued by the heroes and later given away. Amy rants this newfound knowledge to Midoriya, who although is sympathetic to her plight, can’t understand her on an emotional level and instead urges her to let go of that since she is here now as a hero-in-training and needs to be above all of that. But Amy doesn’t want to hear it as she laughs off his words, and then callously disregards Eri, as Amy says that she herself matters. Disgusted and horrified by Amy’s lack of empathy, he chastises her for being cruel and calls her out on her selfishness and reminds her of the ‘kind, sweet girl’ she used to be, which shocks the young witch when it becomes clear that Midoriya isn’t happy to see how she truly is behind one aspect of herself. And when Midoriya ends the conversation Amy is left unhinging and hurt from having the boy she likes speak to her like that and point out her flaws.

Amy acts much colder and emotionless during the Culture Festival, which her classmates noted and likened her to Todoroki, who was more concerned than amused by her strange and distraught behavior. To make matters worse Amy refused to join the class dance out of spite towards Midoriya and also Aizawa; who she also began to hate since he started to take care of Eri, something she begged for him to do for her, but he didn’t when he could have. And when Midoriya pleads with Amy to be a team-player and help them she refuses and tells him to go to hell. Instead, Amy goes to the General Studies to be with Shinsou, who’s well aware of her anger and does what he can to ease her. Unfortunately, when the Culture Festival comes to an end and she sees her entire class looking happy without her, and especially Midoriya, she starts hallucinating Fiona, who reminds her that she has no place in Hero Society, which causes her to suffer a mental breakdown. Incensed, heartbroken and now bubbling with rage, Amy sets up a plot in motion for the next day and attacks Aizawa and UA. The pro-heroes fight back, but Amy planned ahead and instantly defeated them with her telekinesis and Concilium, and also put her friends to sleep with a sleeping potion to spare them from her wrath. Midoriya notices this and quickly steps in to try and stop her, and the two of them engage in a fight when the insane and hostile Amy mocks and unnerves him with her psychosis.

Midoriya attempts to calm Amy down by saying that their friends and shouldn’t be fighting each other, but a pissed off Amy angrily tells him that she’s not in the mood for his ‘hero speeches’ and continues to attack him. He has no choice but to fight back as he tries desperately to remind her of their friendship, only for her to say that he isn’t seeing from her point of view. But as Amy goes on tirade about how Hero Society has abandoned and failed people like her and points out all of the flaws, Midoriya tells her that she’s starting to sound like Stain. Amy doesn’t heed this though, only further angered, but when Midoriya gets the upperhand and pins her down, she breaks down crying. Feeling guilty, Midoriya gently requests for her to stop what she’s doing, but Amy tearfully begs for him to let her go and to listen to her, and confesses that she’s only doing this because she loves him. However, Midoriya was extremely taken aback by her confession, and because of his insecurity with girls and belief that Amy doesn’t truly mean it, he angrily yells at her to stop playing around and that she really is crazy if she’s doing this out of some twisted idea of love. He then goes on to say that she can’t blame Hero Society for her own shortcomings since he himself didn’t despite the system being against him, and harshly reminds her that only she’s to blame for her what’s happening because she let it get to her instead of rising above that.

Midoriya had good intentions, but those words are what served as the final nail into the coffin and Amy’s Sentio Compassios awoke into a stronger, more enraged form ‘Sentio Furia’ which both surprises and scares Midoriya. Scorned and heartbroken, Amy’s power fueled by her unbridled fury overwhelms and dominates Midoriya as she tosses him around like a ragdoll and grabs him with her enlarged form and prepares to crush him. Horrified, remorseful and frightened by this new rage that he realizes is caused by him, Midoriya begs for Amy to stop and apologizes for what he said, but Amy says that she hates him and attempts to crush him. At least, until Shinsou arrives and sadly looks up at Amy, which she notices and upon seeing Midoriya’s tears, Amy remembers her human heart and memories with him as she slowly comes down from her high and lets him go but leaves him to writhe in pain with broken ribs. She heals his internal bleeding but backhand slaps him one last time with a scowl, much to Midoriya’s dismay when she leaves with Shinsou.

At the end of the battle and destruction she caused, Amy is pardoned by Cordelia and she’s freed of any punishments that would have been planned for her. But because Amy felt too upset and hurt by the pro-heroes, she quits UA which shocks all of her classmates but especially Midoriya, who feels partially responsible for her departure. Amy isolates herself in her mansion in an attempt to numb the pain of her heartache caused by both the pro-heroes and Midoriya as she thought about him, both positively and negatively as she frequently ranted to Shinsou, Madison, Mallory and Coco (who took care of her) about her newfound hate for him. In truth, Amy didn’t really hate Midoriya, but still didn’t like him nor was she able to feel any affection for him for a long time. Even as Midoriya visited her at her mansion and attempted to apologize to her with an All-Might gift (suggested by Shinsou), Amy was still upset and rejected his apology, dismissed it as garbage and crushed it before she menacingly told him to get out. Hurt, Midoriya would continue his school life sadly and upset with himself for failing Amy and not being able to get through to her.

Amy’s newfound grudge against Midoriya remains for quite some time even when she eventually returns to UA as she treats him coldly and refuses to speak to him. Although, she did end up having to talk to him during their internship with Endeavor, but many of her words were unfriendly and she even punched him in the stomach for innocently, but insensitively dismissing her when they talked about Todoroki, which highly amused Bakugo, who liked her new attitude towards Midoriya. After Natsuo is rescued, Amy and Midoriya finally have another conversation after he asks for her to talk to him, and Amy confesses that she’s not mad at him anymore, but doesn’t look at him the same anymore. She confesses that her confession was real and that her feelings for him were real, which flustered him a bit, until she said that she related to him and felt a connection to him since they were both outcasts. But then she expressed her disappointment in him for no longer being able to be on the outside and look in as he has forgotten his former quirkless self in favor of his new power, while Amy embraced the things that made her different from society. Shocked but also regretful over this new realization, he apologizes to her oncemore, but Amy sadly says that ‘sorry’ isn’t going to change anything.

While Midoriya does keep his priorities, Amy remained in his mind and he couldn’t stop thinking about how he failed her, and there were many times where he did try his best to repair or at least patch up their relationship once Amy slightly lessened her grudge. Todoroki and Shinsou offered him advice by telling him to not push it and to let her forgive him on her own terms, but Midoriya was still willing to do whatever he could to get to forgive him. Later, Amy takes 1-A (plus Shinsou) to New Orleans as a field trip since she felt guilty for what she did to UA and the class was ecstatic to visit America. However, an ambush by witch-hunters takes them by surprise as they are forced to fight and when Amy is killed by one of the hunters Midoriya is crestfallen and cries for her. At least, until she is quickly revived by Misty Day and Cordelia, and Amy happily hugs everyone, including Bakugo, but doesn’t do the same for a very dismayed Midoriya. Sensing their tension, Cordelia sends both Midoriya and Amy on a mission to infltrate and stop a cult of Satanists in New Orleans who are framing witches and killing innocent people. Amy isn’t happy to be with Midoriya, but takes her mission seriously to protect her coven and Midoriya is more than happy to help.

The mission is rather awkward as Amy tells Midoriya that they’re going to be disguised as an illegally married teenage Satanist couple which greatly flusters the boy and amuses Amy. Throughout the entire mission though, Amy does most of the heavy lifting and uses some very underhanded tactics to take down the cult from the inside out and just tells Midoriya to stay out of her way even when he’s trying to help her and is constantly on edge by her brutality. And when he yells at her for not letting him help and for her savage murders, he is quickly intimidated by her cold glare as she reminds him that he shouldn’t be getting mouthy with the girl who’s not above murdering people. However, when Amy starts to get overwhelmed by the amount of power and Satanists, Midoriya rescues her before she can get killed and he kind of scolds her about letting her anger cloud her judgement.

And Amy reluctantly agrees that she shouldn’t have silenced him but then tells him that feeling ignored and dismissed isn’t a nice feeling and Midoriya reflects on how he made her feeling. Amy then tells him that she’s not going to be the kind-hearted girl he wants her to be. Midoriya tries to assure her that he’s not asking for her to be that girl, but Amy doesn’t believe him. Although, Amy does still express her concern and worry for Midoriya when he gets injured by the leader of the Satanists and she lets go of her negative feelings towards him momentarily. Together they both put their differences aside and they are both able to destroy the cult together, although Amy’s way of going about it is more brutal but Midoriya says nothing on it.

As the cult is destroyed and later killed by Satan himself in a very gory fashion, Amy is amazed but not fazed upon seeing Satan as he gives both her and Midoriya an impressed nod at how they defeated the cult that failed him. A horrified and blood-soaked Midoriya asks her if that’s really what she grew up with and she casually says ‘yes’ and that there’s more blood than normal. But later Midoriya goes into shock upon having several other people’s blood on him, and Amy finally shows her gentler side and takes him back to the coven so he can recover both physically and emotionally as she stays by his side the entire time. Midoriya tells Amy that if that’s truly what she’s grown up with, then he can understand a little bit more why she is the way she is today and she awkwardly smiles and says that it wasn’t easy and she tells him more of her past stories. Sympathetic and also shocked by what she went through, Midoriya nonetheless expresses more respect and awe towards Amy’s resilience and reassures her that while she’s more ruthless than she used to be, that he knows she still has a sympathetic heart despite all of that. Touched by his words, Amy finally forgives Midoriya although she breaks down in tears as she apologizes to him for everything she’s done and for how she’s acted, but he quickly forgives her as she tightly hugs him, and for once Midoriya returns the favor and hugs her back as the two of them cry together.

That’s... their relationship. Rocky, complicated but also close because while Amy and Midoriya have had a fairly shaky journey together, they learned a lot from each other nonetheless. Midoriya learned to remember where he came from and Amy learned to be more forgiving towards others and he ended up inspiring her to make her own place in society since that’s what he did when he made his mark and showcased himself as no longer weak. For better or worse Amy’s new goal is to make her mark and further integrate both witches and heroes, but Midoriya believes that she’s still heroic at heart despite her issues. So in the end... Amy and Midoriya patched up their relationship, and while she’s not in love with him anymore she still has real love for him.

Likewise, Midoriya still holds Amy in very high regard and cares for her deeply, although he is a lot more afraid of her anger now and secretly admits that he doesn’t ever want to fight her again. And also, he still gets flustered by her especially when she goes back to the way she was by hugging him and holding his arm as Amy begins giving him affection once again. It’s implied that there’s a mutual attraction between the two, but overall, Amy and Midoriya have fixed their rocky relationship and are back to being good friends, even though she still likes to tease and prank him, and there is still some awkward moments since Amy started a relationship with Bakugo, and the latter is still very jealous of him whenever he’s even close to Amy, much to her amusement.

I didn’t intend for Amy to have this kind of friendship/relationship with Midoriya but he IS the protagonist of BNHA so... it only makes sense that she has a unique and impactful relationship with him right? XD I think so... and they’re still friends thank goodness, and will continue to be friends even if they come from two different worlds, they do maintain their close bond.

I just kinda wish you were gay...

#midoriya izuku #deku midoriya #mha midoriya #bnha izuku #mha izuku #izuku x oc #midoriya x oc #deku x oc #amy martinez #bnha x oc #american horror story #american horror story coven #ahs coven #coven #witches #ahs oc #american horror story oc #american horror story original character

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noonmutter · 5 years

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Tell how you first met each of the wives and girlfriends and when you knew you were in love with them and when you actually said it. And the same for any boyfriends/male lovers you might have - how did you meet them. Are you in love with them? Inquiring minds want to know.

Oh jeez so quick disclaimer, Leon remembers all of these and while he can’t recite the calendar dates, he knows when they happened and it’s part of why he’s so damned loved. I, however, have a brain wholly reliant on logs and written records, and the logs for both of his wives were devoured in a WoWscribe glitch a few years ago. I roughly remember the sequence of events, but not when exactly these things happened; I can’t even remember the year reliably! Because of that, I/he approximate the story kind of a lot…

AND HOLY SHIT THIS IS LONG WOW

HAVE A CUT

Leon first meets Kaewynn at a get-together he stumbled across in Stranglethorn. It’s one of his earliest interactions in RP, actually; he still introduces himself as Cambor, and is still trapped in worgen form. He’s still homeless, still wanders a lot, and isn’t yet much of a cook. He chats with her a while, and the evening ends with her smooching him. He is mightily pleased with himself. (Fun fact, in Leon’s early months, he got a smooch–or more–from someone every single time I sent him out to RP even though he never once actively sought it, this is why I shake my fist at him for being so GOD DAMN charming)

Leon and Kaewynn just keep on running into each other off and on, mostly because he keeps attending the Meddler-run event, Inkwell, and Kaewynn (a member of the Silver Dragoons) shows up frequently. Eventually they slip away to have some fun together, because they’re both fine with flings and no-strings sex, and they’re both pretty keen on one another. Their first time (I believe) is in a mineshaft at the Dragoon garrison in alternate Draenor.

Time passes, he and Kaewynn get more and more affectionate and more and more time is spent walking off on their own to either talk or fuck or both. After one particularly interesting conversation in which Leon told her his real name and was able to shift out of worgen for for a few seconds, and she told him the meaning of hers, he baffledly admitted to the only witness, “I’m in real trouble, I think I’m in love.”

They went on their first proper Actually a Date in Ulduar, because he’d never been there and Kaewynn wanted to show it to him, having some pretty intimate knowledge of the place (spoiler alert she’s a robot that got hit with the curse of flesh no seriously she actually is).

Leon, despite being warned by a few people who knew Kaewynn that she didn’t really know what to do with the concept of love (long story, but it’s kinda literal–think “Data” here and you’ve got the gist of the problem), eventually confesses that he’s in love with her. This doesn’t go so hot, but she gives him a variation on the “just friends” speech and they both lie to themselves and each other and say that’s fine, and the rest of the night goes as originally intended, ending with Copious Amounts Of Fucking.

They are both emotionally underdeveloped idiots so of course they spend a while feeling more and more awkward and eventually Kaewynn breaks things off with him because she feels like she’s using him and …stuff. Like I said, they’re idiots.

And now we switch focus, and rewind a little because I’m pretty sure this is the part where the timing was both hilarious and infuriating.

Enter Pinapple.

A while back, Leon had seen a gnome woman throwing a bit of a tantrum at one of the Inkwell gatherings, though he hadn’t known why at the time. He eventually found out that it was because she’d been exposed to a shitload of radiation and was in a serious depressive spiral for some pretty good reasons (I don’t think it was actually cancer but it was basically cancer).

Being Leon, and being that he’d been given access to a kitchen and the opportunity to learn to cook, he sent this complete stranger a box of treats because hospital food sucks.

Months down the line, we come to the Silver Dragoons’ Halloween party. Pin has recovered after some risky surgeries n’stuff and is trottin’ about the place, shmoozin’ like y’do, and eventually comes across Leon. They got to talking, he got the chance to introduce himself properly, they eventually sat down to have drinks together. In probably the biggest spike of bravery she’d had for a long time before or since, she hit him with the equivalent of “Nice shoes, wanna fuck?” and they did.

He and Pin have a lot of fun together, and they romp along at a pretty good clip for about a month. Eventually during a bit of pillow talk, Pin accidentally says “I love you, you goofball” and they have a Serious Conversation in which he admits he’s not really at that same place, but it didn’t make things wierd at all. Pin being significantly more emotionally mature than Kaewynn, this works out better, and their friendship does not fall apart.

A bit later on, The Voice Of Reason happens and after he nearly dies and is recovering in the Dragoon garrison infirmary, Leon tells Pin he loves her, too.

LITERALLY THE NEXT DAY Kaewynn tells him she wants to reconcile and asks him to take her back. This was not planned, none of us knew it was going to happen, Kae’s mun didn’t know Leon and Pin had swapped L-words, I nearly threw up laughing. That same night, Leon and Pin and Kaewynn have the single most awkward relationship conversation they could possibly have, because oh by the way did I mention Kaewynn and Pin had been in a relationship once long before Leon ever showed up, and it’d ended because Kaewynn couldn’t do love? Because that’s a thing that happened.

Leon somehow managed not to go bald during all this.

Also he asked them to marry him the following February. Though they both said yes, the ceremony never did happen, and the events of Legion saw Pin dead and both Leon and Kaewynn horribly broken. The two of them sorta gently bullied their mutual friend, Rhiswyn, into performing the marriage between them, because one of the group dying made them worried they’d never get the chance.

Leon and Pin still haven’t formally wed, because after she came back, they were both quietly terrified that if they made it official, something else would rip it apart. They call each other husband and wife, but Pin’s the only one that isn’t actually married out of the trio.

It gets a bit harder for me after this, because I was terrible at tagging things for a while on tumblr and I cannot for the LIFE of me remember how I first encountered @safrona-shadowsun. The earliest posts I actually tagged under her tag, “fizzy,” were confessionals between him and the red courier at the Ledgermaine in Dalaran. Theirs is a very, very complex relationship, but it’s very easy to (over)simplify it:

Leon is a nurturer and he saw a lot of himself in Safrona, which is a terrible thing because he is incredibly depressed and prone to fits of self-loathing. He worried about her a lot when they first started hanging out, and he devoted a lot of energy to trying to draw her out of the incredibly thick shell she’d built around herself. As things progressed over ages and ages and ages, they became business partners, and she directed an acquaintance of hers his way.

Leon’s tradition up to that point had been to put the initials of serious lovers into his collar. Committed but unmarried is engraved (that’s P, for Pin), married is branded (that’s K, for Kaewynn).

Vandrysse… is hard for me to talk about. I only knew her mun for a little over a year before I received word that she had suddenly died.

Vandy is the reason I mention that Leon’s collar still has a nearly-faded “V” on it. She was the third woman he confessed he loved. That conversation was the last time I got to RP with her. I consider it a form of memorial to never let that V actually disappear no matter how long it’s been.

anyway moving on

I cannot actually remember which one happened first, meeting Murkey or confessing his attraction to Safrona, and tracking down the posts for the latter is not easy because Tumblr’s search engine is a JOKE. Regardless, Leon did confess to the courier after some years that he was in love with her, though I’m sure by that time she wasn’t really all that surprised beyond the way he presented it. It was downright artful, the boy was trying. But this is Safrona we’re talking about, and she gently but firmly shut him down, and that was the end of it. Though it made their friendship more than a little tense for a while, they’ve gotten over it by now. He still pines, but wouldn’t you? And he keeps that shit to himself, because not only did he get his answer, she’s now taken and quite happily so.

Murkey snoot-booped her way into Leon’s life one day and never quite left. I actually don’t remember if they met for the first time when she did that, or if he met her at a brothel first. They were both open and poly people, and they still are; he was perfectly okay with her disappearing for weeks or months at a time, as long as she sent word she was all right on occasion, and she was always delighted to find that he was still waiting for her whenever she came back. She’s a romantically skittish thing, so he was actually the first one to confess he had deeper feelings quite a ways into their relationship.

He’d hesitated to do so at all, in part because Safrona had commented that she thought he fell in love too easily and gave it too freely, implying that it wasn’t really that meaningful. Eventually he kicked that feeling in the dick and told her anyway, and though it took a long time, Murkey did eventually tell him she loved him back. She, like him, had realized it far sooner than she’d been willing to admit, for fear of ruining a good thing.

Amber is actually the most recent in the game–I am trying very hard not to call it a harem–and much like Safrona, developed first as a chance meeting that evolved into a business partnership and friendship. She helped design the logos and packaging for the Cookbook, and he sent her plenty of free food and ongoing orders for more boxes. She was a very reserved person, which he thought was kind of refreshing–after a while you sort of want to have some people who are just friends, no matter how fun fuckbuddies are–and she was quite wrapped up with her lover and eventual husband, an elf named Vaerinis.

Amber confessed to him first, and though he wasn’t quite in love with her, he was certainly open to exploring possibilities. These days, he loves her to pieces and though she’s Vae’s first, he is happy to be part of it.

Vaerinis is a happy bonus, too, though he hasn’t had much time to really develop feelings for the man as yet.

Leon doesn’t have a whole lot of male acquaintances in general, actually, and has not yet fallen in love with any or had any fall for him, that he knows about.

my hands hurt, I know I fucked up the timing a few times and I’m tired so I hope i didn’t forget anybody wooph

( @pinpep @shckaewynn @murkeyglglgl @safrona-shadowsun @theengraver @vaerinis )

#prompty things #leon #buhhhhhhhhhh #Anonymous

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bthump · 5 years

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Hi! What are your top 10 ships (any fandom)?

Hi, ty for asking! This is really hard to narrow down lol, but I tried.

In no particular order:

Guts/Griffith - Berserk

The current otp ofc. What can I say that I haven’t already said all over this blog?

Will/Hannibal - NBC Hannibal

This is my ideal ship. It’s stupid how perfect it is. It’s basically my ideal slowburn longfic but yk as a 3 season gorgeously shot and acted tv show.

Doctor/Master (especially Three/Delgado Master, and excluding het combinations lol) - Doctor Who

This ship is fantastic because it’s so versatile. You want childhood friends to lovers (to enemies)? Gallifrey era. You want bitter exes or frenemies with benefits? Three/Delgado. Five/Ainley was never my thing but if you want creepy villain/plucky hero there you go. You want former enemies who now live together in weird domestic bliss? Shalka. You want pathetic desperate protag willing to throw his ideals along with the rest of the world under a bus to get laid? Ten/Simm. It’s even got its own rairpairs, like cross era combinations or Two/Warchief. This ship can run the gamut from fluff to angst to serious darkfic and never be ooc. It’s a delight.

Harry/Draco - Harry Potter

I mean I loved it when I was 14 and even though I couldn’t care less about Harry Potter now it’s still there for me. Like, if I want to read something gay and can’t find anything that strikes my fancy? I turn to drarry man, there’s so much genuinely fantastic novel length fic out there, you’ll never run out.

Xena/Gabrielle - Xena: Warrior Princess

Xena/Gab is an odd ship for me because they’re not really my type lol. Friends to lovers is something I’ve always been a little meh about, and while they have their tense and interesting and complex moments their appeal is mainly the soulmate thing. But this ship makes the list for two reasons: 1. they are immensely fun to watch together, like what they lack in an interesting dynamic they make up for in chemistry, and it’s a delight to watch the show and soak in all the ott subtext, and 2. Conqueror AUs. There’s a subgenre of Xena fic where Xena never turned good and met Gabrielle while she’s ruling the known world with an evil iron fist, and some of that has the good dynamics.

Fraser/Ray Vecchio - Due South

Honestly the main reason I ship them is because I love Ray and Ray loves Fraser, and Ray is one of those very rare faves that I actually want to be happy lol. But they do have a really interesting, and somewhat unique for me dynamic - Fraser prioritizes the abstract concept of duty over everything else, to really destructive lengths at times, while Ray prioritizes Fraser over everything else, also to really destructive lengths at times, and this leads to an unbalanced but v interesting relationship. Especially because like, this isn’t just a result of the show prioritizing Fraser lol, the narrative is very aware of this dynamic and explores it in interesting ways.

Eve/Villanelle - Killing Eve

I was into it from the start, and completely sold when Eve stabbed Villanelle. They’ve got the interesting shifting power dynamics, the disparate morals edging towards meeting in the middle, the violence, the chemistry, even the cute little domestic moments here and there. tbh I am a little.. nervous about where this show is going with them, because I am concerned they’re playing the Villanelle as a psychopath who can’t ~genuinely love~ thing straight, which could not be less interesting to me, but still, so far I’ve gotten more than enough material to keep me happy and hopeful.

D/Leon - Pet Shop of Horrors

In general they’re just a ridiculously fun dynamic, like come on. You’ve got the odd couple thing, you’ve got Leon switching between criminally investigating D and basically coparenting his brother with him, they all go on vacation together at one point, they have like, a dragon kid together, and who doesn’t love the married couple bickering? Also the ending [vague spoilers] is exactly the kind of sad romance I love. They both realize they’re in love, and D chooses to run the fuck away because he doesn’t know how to love a human, while Leon chooses to run the fuck after him for the rest of his life if that’s what it takes. This is technically subtext, but only barely.

Troy/Abed - Community

They had me at the Somewhere Out There duet. I stopped caring about the show after season 3 and I’ve only seen a few episodes since, but man when Community was good it was great and Troy and Abed were the mvps and clear otp of the show. Tragic that Harmon couldn’t commit beyond gay jokes tbh, but at least we’ll always have the romantic zombie episode.

Starsky/Hutch - Starsky and Hutch

This is a bit of a weird choice because I was never super into the fandom, like I haven’t read much fic, and I watched the show back in like my first year of university but not really since because like, it’s a 70s cop show lol, there’s not a whole lot that’s worth watching about it. But man, Starsky and Hutch are the damn kings of the extremely emotionally intense homoerotic friendship. Their off the charts chemistry and constant hurt/comfort plots were next level, and fully engaging and super fun to watch despite everything else.

(Also the 4th season is terrible, but shockingly good and ridiculously coherent if you watch it with the understanding that in between season 3+4 they had sex or made out or something and Starsky freaked out and Hutch is alternately depressed and pissed off at Starsky for his avoidance. Like that reading legit ties everything together lol, from their suddenly strained relationship to random jokes(?) like Hutch encouraging Starsky to try free word association, giving him the word “closet” to start, and Starsky getting mad about it for no reason. And in the 4th to last episode (production order) they clearly finally get together for real, in the coda to Starsky vs Hutch. I mean come on they fight while dating the same woman and then make up off screen and the final scene is the two of them meeting her in a bar and telling her she gets both together or neither, then walking away with their arms around each other when she turns them down.

I may have just wanted to ramble about this lol.)

#Anonymous #ask #b #not berserk

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nocvil · 5 years

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* ‐ ․ ↺ 𝙄𝙉𝙏𝙍𝙊𝘿𝙐𝘾𝙄𝙉𝙂 . . . ｓｏｏｂｏｇｕｍ . hitman . caretaker . the heel . a masked hell .

❝ my love , my love , my love , won't you stay a while ? ❞

possible tw’s below: parental death mention, illness mentions, murder for hire mentions, and uh m,,, i think that’s it rlly. just warning ok.

GENERAL INFO

full name: soo bogum ( 수 보검 ). nickname(s): bo, sweetie pie to his mother (: gender & pronouns: cismale, he/him. sexual & romantic orientation: aromantic, demisexual. age & dob: twenty-five, november 8th, 19-- birthplace/hometown: seoul, sk. parents/siblings: only child, deceased father, living mother. pet(s): absolutely not LOL. astrological sign: scorpio. >:-) dominant hand: both! handwriting style: mostly writes in very slanted cursive. i feel like when you see things like royal documents signed or very important letters written back in the day with that vintage cursive ... that would be bogum. language(s) known/spoken: spanish, english, korean. religion: LOL. ok. current living arrangements: a two-bedroom, two bath apartment complex with his older, npc mother. it is pretty spacious given they both have their own room, a kitchen, dining space, their own bathrooms, and a patio. bo has the money if you kno what i mean ... (: occupation/major: hitman.

PHYSICAL

picture reference: uhh... this? this look rlly gives off bogum vibes so (: blood type: type O. nationality: korean. skin tone/color: lighter tanned. birthmarks & scars: heheh wouldn’t u like to kno ??? height: five-foot ten inches. 5′10″. build: pretty average, more on the lean/athletic side though. hair color: red. hair length: uhm ,, look at reference photo? eye color: brown. diet: uhm ... bo has a pretty average diet probably. he would eat just about anything, not very picky. i think he probably has his favorites when it comes to chips and candy but he doesn’t have a special diet. exercise & level of fitness: LOOOL. let me not make a bad joke here ): how’s their posture ( or lack thereof )?: bogum probably has really good posture! i think standing tall with a straight back probably adds to his uh... authoritative look? typical style of dress: ( from his stats page ) dresses a bit old school, vintage?, almost plain. likes wearing tucked in and cuffed shirts, rolled up pants, boots, baseball caps, at least three rings on one hand, gold bracelets. the following outfits aren’t specific to him but they are probably kinda similar. it’s hard to rlly find exact examples ): ( 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 ) body modifications: none, surprisingly. probably pierced ears that he never puts earrings in. that’s really it though. he would prob like a tattoos but wouldn’t do it for the sake of his career ( because tattoos are distinguishing features ).

MANNERISMS

how does your muse walk?: def with a bit of power in his step. very protective when he is with his mother. mostly, he would walk like he calculates every single step he takes. how does your muse talk?: HAHA i just talked about this with myungok’s mun ,, he would talk very plain and probably without a lot of emotion. this would make things that are usually out of pocket probably sound kinda weird. what accent/dialect does your muse talk with?: he is from seoul and according to google, they speak with a gyeonggi dialect there (: how would you describe the tone of their voice? are they loud or quiet?: QUIET... shh... if you speak too loud you won’t hear bogum speaking with such monotoned you could probably fall asleep. bogum asmr when? what does their laugh sound like?: bogum? LAUGHING? i feel like bogum chuckles. so he would have like a short, quiet laugh. how does your muse typically smell?: either like smoke from a cigarette or like his mom’s perfume. what kind of air do they carry?: well jinae’s mun said he would have a dark and heavy presence and honestly that rlly fits the bill. do they have a(ny) catchphrase(s)?: time to die. what are their nervous ticks?: um.. not sure. probably knuckle cracking and finger tapping.

PSYCHOLOGY

what makes your muse happiest?: his mommy! seeing his mom thrive and gain her confidence back, even momentarily, makes him so happy. what upsets them the most?: ugh. listen. i talked abt this with some of y’all but the thought that if he ever got exposed or arrested ... how everyone in his life, including his mother, would just abandon him ... CRIES. was this supposed to be a general question? does your muse have any quirks?: i think his tendency to just be way too lax in certain situations would be his infamous quirk. what are their hobbies? how frequent do/can they do them?: bogum is definitely a simple man. he would totally like puzzles, word searches, watching the news, scrapbooking ( YES, SCRAPBOOKING ), taking walks, shopping with his mom, writing, idk, he doesn’t do anything OD or over the top. shrug. do they have any guilty pleasures?: is your muse an extrovert or an introvert? neither?: 10000% introverted otl. do they have high or low self-esteem? what about confidence?: uhm... bogum probably has an average amount of confidence/self-esteem. he’s a realist, definitely. if he look ugly he look ugly. if he look good he look good. ‘nuff said. are they easily stressed and how do they normally respond to it?: stressed? bogum could be in the midst of a bank robbery and be sitting there like ok, y’all done yet? what is your muses worst fear?: his mother finding out about his job. what is your muses biggest dream?: to either escape his job for good or to be able to heal his mother of all her injuries and illnesses. but of course, neither of those will ever happen! is your muse a morning person or a night dragon?: a night dragon? ok. anyway he is probably both. i can see bogum getting like four hours of sleep and waking up like (: let’s fuckin go! how intelligent is your muse? do they acknowledge it?: OH BOGUM has street smarts but definitely probably not book smarts. at least, not a great amount of book smarts. how can he be a hitman if he’s DUMM?! describe their sense of humor: LMAO. the real question is how can someone as funny as ME play someone as BORING as bogum?

RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES

are they currently in any sexual or romantic relationships?: HELL NO. luuuul. what is their experience with relationships?: to really think about it, bo probably had feelings for people here and there and most likely dated short term in high school but after he moved and began doing that he kind of lost all his effort to pursue romance. how does your muse view the idea of friends with benefits? have they ever had one? would they ever?: another hell naw to that sis. how important is sex to your muse?: not important at all. bogum could care less. what are their biggest turn on and turn offs?: see above pls. does your muse find it easy to make friends?: i say yes, only because most of his friends are through his mother. how important is friendship to them?: veRY IMPORTANT if bogum didn’t have the friends he has today, he probably would be a lot more sad and maybe more than just a hitman ): quantity or quality of friends?: quality! how important is family?: VERY IMPORTANT AGAIN bogum would give his life for his mother and to have his father back. are they close to their family? why or why not ?: YES. obviously asdfasdf everyone probably knows why. although bogum is now the one who runs the house, he still really values his mother because she ultimately has nobody but him in the end if she gets worse. his parents were always really good to him and when his father died, he knew that he and his mother had to stick together through it. he also knew that that he had to step up to provide for his mother because of her injuries and dementia. she is his life, really.

FAVORITES

activity: haha. you really wanna kno?... he likes word searches a lot. animal: idk. probably like. idk. beverage: mmmm some piping hot tea. book: - color: is red cliche to say? designer: - food: flower: water lilies, pansies, lilies, peonies, idk, he would love all kinds of flowers. gem: i googled these. if he had a favorite it would be garnet, smoked topaz, and morion. holiday: christmas! his mother’s favorite too, probably. mode of transportation: walking, usually. movie: - musical artist: oh boy, uhm,, i bet bogum likes indie kpop. like dean, suran, hyukoh, but i dont rlly know a lot to give you more details. quote / saying: - scenery: hm. probably night time in the living room, mom is put to bed already, he’s watching a rerun episode of a crime drama on television and thinking about how it’s so unrealistic. he’s got a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other though he puts it out halfway through because he loses interest. (: scent: i think he’d like the smell of cleaning products, flower scents ( bc it would remind him of his mom ), and metal (: obviously. weather: cloudy or rainy weather. anything that let’s him stay inside for the day. vacation destination: UM. i bet bogum would like to travel out of country to places like europe.

ATTITUDES

greatest dream: to finally have a peaceful life with his mother by his side, healthy or not. he wants to stop being a hitman, really, but it’s kind of like an addiction, plus he’s good at it, and it brings in the bacon. greatest fear: being caught and leaving his mother by herself -- it would be like the ultimate let down since he doesn’t trust anyone with her. most at east when: pls see scenery in section above. least as ease when: out in public by himself. he doesn’t have his mom as his cover. worst possible thing that could happen: PLS SEE GREATEST FEAR. ajdfkjasdfskf biggest achievement: moving to seoul safely with his mom! biggest regret: falling back into the crime life. most embarrassing moment: idk i feel like bogum isn’t embarrassing. he’s too ,, plain. biggest secret: LMAO well ... i think we all know. top priorities: keeping his mom safe, alive, healthy, and her bills paid for. also keeping himself undercover for the most part and making sure neither him or his mother are overwhelmed.

EXTRA TIDBITS

001. bogum is an unhealthy smoker but a social drinker. he never smokes around his mother though.

002. whenever bogum’s mother is around, he is on his own best behavior. he always does his best to be nice and keep up an image of her sweet son although by himself he can be different.

003. so far the only person who knows about his job is sangwoo because he sort of saw him in the act during his first hit. the two joke about it but bogum would take him out in a heartbeat if he spills.

004. i think it’s funny because i always pictured bogum as that person would give the shirt off of his back for you if you were in trouble. but he also wouldn’t hesitate to threaten to make you disappear.

005. his mom doesn’t know how he gets the money to pay for everything but bogum has her believing he “has his ways” and to “just trust him” although she asks about it every now and then.

006. though he stays inside a lot, some of the places you might see bogum outside of his apartment, are grocery stores close to his place, bars around town, museums, little cafes picking up things for his mother, dawon’s flower shop, and very occasionally places where there are a lot of drug activity.

007. here is smth: bogum is a hitman because his father was killed in a hit!

008. despite his mom questioning where he earns his money, his family has always been pretty well off but that was because of his father. so now that his father isn’t alive, it’s kind of ... fishy.

009. lmao probably your very typical scorpio minus the s*xual stuff.

010. my brain stopped working.

AESTHETICS

a card hand full of royals. empty, dark hospital hallways. dirty hands under black leather gloves. an empty, lonely wheelchair. old black and white photographs. an ashtray full of half smoked cigarettes. ripped up diary pages. rolled up fifty dollar bills. two expensive rings on each finger. responding “k” to a paragraph long text message. tri-folded letters written in the upmost calligraphy. roman numeral clocks.

#daegu:task #⸢ 。‧ * ‧﹒、i think it’s time to pack it in . 𝒹𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓁𝑜𝓅𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉 . ⸥#I ADDED my own section at the bottom bc why not (:#ok i see u all later

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godwinn-blog1 · 5 years

Text

hello friends! my name is hayley (she/her) and i’m super excited to be here and v. much ready to get into all this drama! i’m from the uk, but have that gmt+1 timezone as i’m doing a year abroad in the netherlands. but enough about me, let me introduce you to my kid with a god complex, riley. give this a like and i’ll come to you for plots and all that good stuff!

nick robinson, cismale, he/him. — you know riley godwin, don’t you? he’s the twenty year old sophomore who’s studying biology and living in thayer hall. they used to be addie’s confidant, but now they regret not trying to find her when she left the party.

FIRST AND FOREMOST, riley is a fairly new character of mine so pls bear with me while i get to grips with him! i have this lil pinterest board i made for a bit of an overview

everyone’s maine squeeze (i would say that’s the last of my horrible jokes, but it’s not... i am sorry). riley is from camden, maine!! he’s the son of two b&b owners, astrid and nicholas godwin, and is the second youngest of five children.

he had a pretty normal upbringing. apart from squabbles with his siblings, he was pretty much the golden boy in his parents' eyes, having graduated from high school as valedictorian.

riley is pretty close with both of his parents. they’re both incredibly supportive of him and have given him free rein for most of his life. despite this, he still feels want to make them proud one day.

he was always more into sciences than he was into any other subject at school. in p. the most selfless (but also selfish because $$$) decision he’s made, he decided to study biology at uni with the hope of eventually becoming a general practitioner; he does genuinely want to help people in the future.

he’s the first in his family to go to university. riley really aspires to go on to med school after graduation, so he’s pushing himself extremely hard in terms of studying until then

this does not mean he’s not going to have a good time though! he definitely parties a lot

although riley is very outgoing, he’s definitely someone who won’t willingly come forth with much information about themselves, but rather try to learn more about you. this is what made his friendship with addie so important to him, as they’d share things with one another comfortably.

whether riley wants to learn more about people out of genuine intrigue or for some kind of ammunition in case the relationship sours really remains to be seen? he’s pretty paranoid honestly and doesn’t trust all that easily. it doesn’t necessarily mean he’ll use it against anyone... but let’s just say he’s the person with allllll the receipts at his fingertips when things go wrong sdkfhdskfh

in terms of personality, riley is hardworking, gregarious, protective of those he’s close to, and organised. but as said before he’s also paranoid, judgmental and quite hubristic? like... for anyone who has watched death note (the tv show; i haven’t seen the netflix adaptation so idk if it’s the same jhrehf) essentially like light yagami before he got the notebook

he just really likes feeling like he’s in control of every aspect of his life

*adore delano voice* he’s a fucking libra.

that ‘rule number one, never be number two’ quote is him in a nutshell.

UMMM that’s it for now! i’ll probably add to this over time so!!!

wanted connections

best friend. probably the only other person outside of his family and addie that riley has allowed properly into his life. they could either be a friend from home or just someone he has become very close with since being at uni!

party friends. riley and your character may never even speak on a day to day basis, but they both know to rely on another if they’re looking for a good time.

the opposite. riley really likes to see himself as a realist. this would be someone who is a bit on the dreamier/idyllic side of things and they can either be unlikely friends or just butt heads whenever they interact.

the online friend. idk i’d just love someone who got to know riley before university somehow online. they might have shared a lot about themselves and i’d love to explore what happens when that anonymity they had online has disappeared idk

the friend gone hook-up. bring me ur male muses for this one as this would have been how riley realised he’s bi. these two got close in riley’s first few weeks at uni and then one night one thing led to another...

freshman year hook-ups. legit applicable to anyone

the buyers. UMMM so one of riley’s secrets is that he sold test answers in his freshman year to help pay for school. so in short, these would have been people he sold to (mostly science students i’m assuming but hey. boy is smart he could probably get you an a- in something else). they could totally be trying to continue buying~ that could be interesting to explore!

the frenemy. riley is shady in his dislike of people and is never up front with it. this would essentially be a relationship filled with it on both sides; they could have been good friends and something happened or maybe they’ve always had this going on!

that’s all off the top of my head but i’m always here to stir the pot with whatever

#daringooc #daringintro #me? writing a long intro?? it's more likely than u think #i'm gonna give you all love now!!

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therobinsonwayoflife · 6 years

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Okay, now that someone has asked about Neil and Wil, I gotta ask about how you think Wilbur and Franny are as mother and son? After all, Franny is most likely fairly famous and busy herself what with the singing frogs and all.

Oooo GOOD Q, FRIEND. Currently listening to jazz as I figure out how to answer it. (Edit: Kidding. I got tired of the jazz after a bit…)

Also note that apparently readmores do not work in asks. Oop. 😦👎 If need be, scroll down to the TLDR.

First of all I’d say that Wilbur is definitely a momma’s boy. Though he doesn’t have a preference for either parent over another, one can assume his relationship with Franny is very… straightforward. If only because we know even less about her than Cornelius. The benefit with Franny though is that we see her, as a mom, interact with Wilbur quite a bit.

The writers were clearly angling for a sentimental cool mom factor and in her introductory frog orchestra scene, she comes off as an idyllic mother: fun, weird, energetic, patient, and nonjudgemental. This is probably her good side that comes out especially around guests. The whole adopting Lewis thing has many possible explanations, one of which is that she just likes kids.

How she acts around Wilbur, esp as he gets older, is more casual. She’s often teasing him with punishments knowing his tendency to push the envelope. On a deeper level, this is her way of establishing boundaries but it’s ultimately one step above playful banter.

She’s vvvv openly affectionate towards Wilbur and to a degree Lewis (and presumably to most others as well). Re: Carpet Scene***, she teases Wilbur and jokes around w him and babies him and is never above play acting with him. That she doesn’t question Wilbur’s convoluted scheme to improve Lewis’ self-esteem is a real character-defining moment. Not a lot of moms would go for that. In fact the entire establishment that Wilbur and Franny regularly have conversations underneath a rug is a sign that Wilbur’s comfortable communicating w her, maybe not everything but I’d wager quite a few things. They do not however have the close, weird no-boundaries relationship that he has with his dad which is probably a good balance and allows him to have the kind of conversations he couldn’t have w someone who is also his best friend. (Boundaries. A slippery slope.) I don’t see a lot of genuine conflict between them, no weird expectations, no complex foil or double-life friendships hidden beneath the surface. Again: straightforward.

Lastly—the work thing. Ngl I think Fran and Neil are both workaholics.* Luckily, they live in a multigenerational home and have several inhuman servants AKA a bounty of free babysitters. Wilbur’s relationship with his parents can remain emotionally close and healthy even if he doesn’t see them 24/7 bc he has a safety net of an equally loving community of cowlicked family members. (And Carl.) Being his parents’ only child plus the whole family around him, Wilbur is never lonely or neglected.

But I do think Franny is ever so slightly less of a workaholic than Cornelius esp bc directing musical frogs isn’t as soul-crushingly demanding as running a tech corporation. Relatively speaking, it’s a solo career: sure you train the frogs, rehearse, compose, tour, promote, argue with your agent and accountant, etc but it’s nearly a one-man band compared to the bureaucratic chaos of Robinson industries. Also Franny and Cornelius’ personalities are complimentary, Franny embodies the Keep Moving Forward motto better than Cornelius does, considering most of what we’ve seen of him is getting obsessively frustrated over work.

And not to bring…… women’s rights….. into this Again but it’s likely Franny more often took time off work for Wilbur. (Which in my books might’ve become a point of contention w/i our little trio.) And to top it off, Franny clearly carves a bit of time for herself for hobbies i.e. karate, which as far as we know Cornelius does not do. As a result of this Wilbur’s probably less intimated by her success than he is w Cornelius.

That’s not to say I don’t think they’re equally work-savvy or equally willing to make sacrifices for Wilbur. I’d always envisioned Cornelius making a huge overhaul w his schedge/working from home more to make room for the ~joys~ of early childhood parenting but unfortch the result of said sacrifices are probably…. still less than Franny’s. Consequently, Wilbur is arguably closer to his mom for the simple fact that she’s there ever so slightly more than Cornelius. But it could also work otherwise: he’s closer to his dad bc in his absence, he gets to be the fun parent. (Or you know the one who grounds him less) Realistically though Fran and Neil probably lecture Wilbur equally but in dif ways

Where Wilbur kind of struggles to find things in common w Cornelius as he ages and presumably more or less hangs around him as he’s working or asks for homework help and maybe they have some TV show they watch together, Wilbur and Franny do share some common interests. Namely sports. Namely KARATE. Also play acting. Also, as I headcanon and think is heavily implied by the way Franny treats Lewis, playing backup to Franny’s rehearsals. (Also coughSINGINGcough)

The thing that peeves me is that where we don’t see Lewis/Cornelius’ relationships outside super individualistic lens, Franny is almost entirely defined by her relationships as a result of practicality n bc Lewis is the protagonist. Franny has… no obvious flaws or points for character growth. O Gods, if only we had the TIME!! (Sigh… thats what fanfic is for I guess.)

Anyways TL;DR: Franny is a fun mom and Wilbur’s a happy, spoilt momma’s boy. That scene in Twin Peaks season three with the mother racing her son across the street? Thats them.** Joyce and Will Byers? Also them. Mz. Frizzle and all her students? Also them!!!

*Workaholics: Most of the Robinsons probably are and this is sort of tied to the whole work hard, follow your dreams theme which has sort of become a Disney cliche. Notice how Robots (2005) and Cloudy w A Chance… are eerily close to MTR’s premise minus the humility of the adoption/family plot.

**Well… no spoilers but not entirely. I’m sorry I always reference things that Disney fandom-ers don’t watch… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

*** for the uninitiated: THE CARPET SCENE: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7uPCWiqPCls&t=2m05s

#meet the robinsons #mtr #wilbur robinson #Disney #Franny & Wilbur #analysis #ask #super jazzed abt asks like these bc even though I think abt stuff like this in my head answering them forces me to analyse things more #thoroughly on the spot and who doesn't wanna analyse yr favourite futuristic family's dynamics????!!#:)

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