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#on my block master list
sageworld · 1 month
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guys guys guys i’m back in my omb era please send reqs
omb characters i write for
Oscar
sapo
cuete (i already have a fic or two posted)
jamal
cesar😒
ruby !!!!!
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devildom-moss · 4 months
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Not so friendly reminder:
if you’re a minor, don’t follow me (unfollow me if you are one, and I didn’t catch it), and please don’t interact with my posts.
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wastelandsable · 2 years
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To any of my followers or even mutuals who’ve been thrown off by my recent splurge of Star Wars posting…I’m sorry you were somehow surprised
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I have decided to make a list of my computer programming nega-achievements because lord knows they outweigh the achievements.
Discovered Windows XP/Vista has a secret red screen of death triggered only when something goes wrong so early the kernel hasn’t loaded far enough to throw a bluescreen.
it’s almost always a hardware problem
the “normal” case where you encounter this is faulty RAM
in this case I’d put two VMs to sleep and swapped their “hardware” so they basically woke up screaming in a bad frankenstein horror movie with their heads sewn onto each other’s bodies
so, fair 
Crashed every debugger I’ve ever used. Every. Debugger. gdb. pdb. MS Visual Studio. Totalview. Allinea DDT. windbg. I’ve crashed windbg.
it turns out when it calls KiRemoveAllBreakpoints() you should let it remove all breakpoints
Chased down a phantom heap corruption error because the debugger’s default heap size was bigger than the regular compiler’s and the overwrite therefore didn’t happen if I tried to debug it
that one’s more on Visual Studio though
Thrown an error in gcc, i.e. the compiler, at 3 AM, which was my sign to stop for the night.
fuckin’ Fortran linker libraries man
Tried to install a CPU temperature monitoring widget on a Linux box and had it commit suicide by package manager
I hit “ok” without reading the full list of what it was trying to install and it tried to update the entire window manager but then stopped and tried to undo the whole thing and uninstalled so much stuff it deleted the wifi drivers and could no longer connect to the internet to try to reinstall anything to fix itself
Presented serious evidence that different Windows service packs appeared to be linking against the future i.e. each loading the library list of the next service pack
turns out it was dynamic load calls becoming statics in the next update but listen that was a weird couple of hours
Some people say the definition of “experience” is just “you know a lot of ways to screw something up,” and by that metric I’m some kind of eighty-year-old bearded guru who lives in a shack and is owed favors by several governments.
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lokixme · 1 year
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Do you have a masterlist?
hey so I just came back after 4 years so...
i may or may not have forgotten how to write (i'll be honest i didn't realise i had written anything at all) buuuuuutt i intend to start writing again and may be then i will create a master list ?
thank you for having enough interest in my work to ask this. means the world to me <3
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heritageposts · 4 months
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large zionist blocklist below
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i've compiled a list of all the blogs positively interacting with the @/israel-palestine-bingo blog
there's more info about how the names were complied under the read more, but just to get an idea of how vile the blog is, i just want to quickly mention that the first prize offered in their pinned post, "eight hours of memi mamtera," is the song used in the viral israeli tiktok trend of kidnapping, humiliating, and torturing palestinians in the west bank.
and the "grand prize," which needs no explanation, is "all of palestine! for free!"
some quick info: all the names here have either approvingly replied to, reblogged from, or liked one or more of @/israel-palestine-bingo's posts. for likes, i've only gathered names that appear under their original posts; mostly ones that have not been reblogged, and some with 2-3 reblogs that have not left the immediate sphere of zionists. i've also made sure that these are blogs who have either liked more than one posts from them, or who frequently reblogs from other zionists.
you can also quickly look through the blog yourself (it doesn't have that many posts), or check out any of the names on the list with a quick 'israel' or 'palestine' in the search bar or their blogs.
there are more screenshots at the end of the posts, including ones showing who made the blog (ani-lo-daredevil / katenotbishop), and the bingo board itself (ashenpumpkin).
blocking tip: fastest way to mass block users (on desktop) is to go to settings -> the blog your blocking them from -> scroll all the way down to 'blocked tumblrs,' and then copy-paste the name your blocking
names listed below in alphabetical order reminder again, block don't engage
2peachy acleverforgery ani-lo-daredevil apollo-enthusiast ashenpumpkin <- credited for making the bingo board, reblogged/liked almost all of their posts. aureatecorvid avi-on-jumblr (main @/clear-what-i-was-seeing) awstheticshit bambahalva bleepiesheepie bluenorther blueredfetch bones-and-crows britneysmeanshirt cannibalism-is-my-love-language captain-navii casavanse celepito chubbybubba ciitrus--fruitz coffeelovinggayidiot da-socks davos-is-the-one-true-king dchan87 disregardenedgnostic elder-millennial-of-zion faggotry-enjoyer fdelopera flowercrownsandfairylights fluffel677 fluffy-art-moss george-lucas-is-god got-chavi icereader12 illegitimatetenenbaum inklingm8 its-hila jewishlivesmatter just-illegal karinhasdacookie
katenotbishop <- the main account of the person running the blog. her sideblog is @/ani-lo-daredevil
kelluinox kingofslush letaot-ze-magniv lingonberryjamistakenwhat lovelyhairedpianist magic-coffee marrymepadfoot marvel-ous-posts masters-puddle <- pornblog mixmangosmangoverse morganas-simp mossadspydolphin multifandermissesanakin nameless370 namiko026 nevleg32 notcrazyiswear oakstar519 perfectlynormalperson psychologeek queerius randomname3 redvodyanoi rhysaka sally006 sbinklebooper scp-1296 shinekocreator <- commented, 'but is this the 8 hour version?' on a post where someone ''won'' the song used in the tiktok torture videos. snakelung sort-of-a-demon soxiyy stuffandatherstuff tearsandice tedious-waffle thebejeweledwatercat the-library-alcove thirdmagic thisgingerhasnosoul timegirl tolaat-bli-toelet <- the person running the bingo blog. mainblog is @/katenotbishop transmascpetewentz tribulation-of-somnolence unexistencerpg viktorrotkiv wanderingmadscientist whiterose-blackrose whitesunlars why5x5
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note: @/tolaat-bli-toelet changed her username to @/ani-lo-daredevil (her main is still @/katenotbishop)
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and from the same post,
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the last post was also reblogged by the creator of the israel-palestine-bingo blog
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tip-top-cloud-surfer · 10 months
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Three Four, That’s the Magic Number - Hangman
Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin / Wife!Reader
Word Count: 3.7k
This work, all my works, and my entire blog is 18+ Only!
Warnings: (Unplanned) Pregnancy; (Failed) Vasectomies; Humor; Suggestive Language; Marital Disagreements; Threats of Kicks to the Balls; Female Reader with No Description, No Y/N, Second Person POV, Use of "You"
Summary: You thought that three kids was it. But apparently your husband, Hangman, didn't have as successful of a vasectomy as you initially thought.
Master List
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Holding your head in your hand, you tried to quell your sudden nausea as your husband continued to drive you and your family across town to the Bradshaw family home for a Dagger pool day. Your head was pounding and you swore that your body was naturally swaying on its own and your kids fighting in the back seat was not helping your mood. 
“Hey!” Jake barked when your son kicked the back of your seat, causing all three of your kids to jump. “Sit down and apologize to your mama right now, Charlie.”
“Sorry, Mama,” Charlie mumbled out quietly.  
“Thank you, baby,” you replied softly, still feeling out of it. 
“If you three don’t stop fighting, we’re not going to the pool,” Jake warned your three kids. Coming to a stop at a red light, he turned around to shoot them the classic ‘do not test me today’ look that your kids knew to not test. “So, if you want to go to the pool and play with your friends, you’re going to stop fighting. Got it?”
“Yes, Daddy,” the three of them chorused together. 
Turning to shoot you a concerned look, since you hadn’t looked like yourself for what felt like days now, Jake started driving again when the light turned green. Pulling into the Bradshaw driveway, you slowly got out of your seat and moved to pull your kids out of the back. Jake grabbed the food and took Liam and set him on his hip so that you could walk in without any extra weight. 
The Bradshaw house was packed with the Daggers and their families. The years since the uranium facility mission had only made the Dagger relationships stronger and even though they didn’t all live near each other anymore, they made efforts to get together when they could. Especially with a lot of their kids being around the same age. 
Your three kids quickly joined in the activities with the other Dagger babies, letting you get a brief moment of peace. You and Jake stepped out into the backyard with Jake resting a concerned hand on your lower back, as if he was worried that you’d collapse on him. 
“Are you sure that you’re fine?” Jake asked worriedly.
“I’m fine,” you assured him, leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek. “I probably just need to eat and drink some more water. That’s all.”
“Go sit down. I’ll grab you something.”
Jake reluctantly parted from your side and headed inside again while you made your way over to where Phoenix and Payback’s wife Dana were sitting by the pool. The direct sun caused your head to pound once again. 
“You look horrible,” Phoenix commented, causing you to sigh and drop onto a chair. 
“I feel horrible,” you muttered, shifting the umbrella over to block the sun. 
“Are you sick?” Dana asked, sitting up. 
“No. I don’t have a fever or anything like that. It’s probably just some stomach thing or just me being exhausted.”
“You’re nauseous?”
“Only sometimes,” you replied with a shrug, lying flat on your back. 
“Have you been sleeping well?”
“No,” you sighed, rubbing your eyes and blinking slowly. “Liam’s still sleeping in our bed most nights and he usually kicks one of us awake. Mostly Jake, actually.”
“Eh, Hangman probably deserved it,” Phoenix muttered, shrugging her shoulders. 
“Love you too, Phoenix,” Jake muttered, arriving on the scene. 
He offered you a plate of food and a cup of water. You took the offering from your husband and shot him a small smile. In return, Jake leaned down to press a soft kiss to your lips. 
“Thanks, baby,” you told him, smiling softly. 
“You’ll let me know if you need to go home, right?” Jake asked you, shooting that look that he always did whenever you over-exerted yourself. 
“Yes, Commander Seresin,” you replied sarcastically, shooting him an exasperated expression. 
“We don’t need to be here for your foreplay,” Phoenix stated from behind Jake, causing Dana to burst out into snickers. 
“Daddy!” Annie called, causing Jake to immediately spin around to see her standing on the steps of the pool with Bob right beside her. “Come play in the pool!”
“I’m coming, Princess!” 
Jake peeled off his shirt and handed it over to you. Shooting you one last concerned look, Jake headed over to join Annie in the pool. You folded his shirt up and set it beside you before reaching for your water. 
“How long have you been feeling ill?” Dana asked as you sipped at your water. “Jake seems pretty concerned.”
“About a week,” you replied quietly, reaching for the food that he brought you. 
“You made an appointment?”
“Not yet. But I’m worried that he’ll make one for me if I drag my feet anymore,” you stated honestly, popping a grape into your mouth. 
“Are you telling me that we’re in for another classic Hangman freak out?” Phoenix sighed, taking a long sip of her beer. “I haven’t had enough drinks to deal with that yet.”
“I think that Annie’s keeping him distracted for now,” you responded, smiling as Jake tossed Annie up in the air and caught her. Annie squealed as Jake pressed a kiss to her cheek and tossed her in the air again. “She’s got him wrapped around her finger at all times.”
You moved to eat some crackers and cheese, keeping everything lighter and stomach friendly. But when your caught a whiff of potato salad that all seemed to be for nothing. Plugging your nose, you quickly set down your food and sipped at your water to try and keep your stomach from rolling dangerously. 
“Do you need Jake?” Dana asked, sitting up.  
“You look like you’re going to throw up,” Phoenix added, sharing a look with Dana. 
“I’m fine. And stop looking at me like that or Jake is going to notice.”
“I’d make that appointment soon,” Phoenix told you honestly. “Not much gets by him. But don’t tell him I said that.”
“No, you’re right,” you sighed, leaning back in your chair. Staring up at the umbrella over your head, you sunk a bit more into your seat. “I’ll make the appointment.”
~~~~~
“Any allergies?” the nurse asked you. 
“No, none,” you replied, sitting up on the exam table of your doctor’s office. 
“Any changes to your medication?”
“Nope.”
“When was your last period?”
“I don’t know, probably three weeks ago or something like that,” you replied, not entirely sure. You hardly kept track of it anymore at this stage in your life. 
“And any chance that you could be pregnant?” she asked, causing you to shake your head. 
“My husband had a vasectomy.”
“But are you still sexually active?”
“Yes.”
“In the last few months?”
“Yes.”
“Then, we’ll need you to take a urine test,” the nurse assistant replied, pulling out a plastic cup from the cupboard. “It’s standard procedure.”
Reluctantly, you took the cup and headed down the hall to the bathroom. After what felt like twenty years, your doctor finally entered your exam room. 
“How are we doing today, Mrs. Seresin?”
“I’ve been better,” you replied, swinging your legs back and forth. 
“Yes, I understand that.”
Your doctor asked you a series of questions, did a quick physical exam, before returning to the computer in the corner of the room. Typing in your answers and some notes to herself, your doctor turned back to you. 
“Well, I think with all of your symptoms and your test results, there’s one clear cause of your illness—you’re pregnant.”
“That’s funny,” you laughed off, but your doctor remained serious. 
“Mrs. Seresin, you’re pregnant. Your urine test came back with clear results. Based on your hormone levels, I’d put you somewhere around six to eight weeks.”
“But my husband got a vasectomy,” you insisted, as if that changed anything. “There’s no way that I’m pregnant.”
“Do you use protection with him?”
“No,” you replied, as if it were obvious. 
“Might I suggest making an appointment with your obstetrician?” your doctor spoke softly, causing you to sink into your seat. 
~~~~~
Making dinner that night, you swore that you weren’t seeing or thinking straight. Your doctor’s words kept echoing around head and stole any smidge of sanity that you maintained. Your kids were running around causing a ruckus as they always were and Jake still wasn’t home, which only added to your inner turmoil. 
You hadn’t told Jake about what the doctor told you. It didn’t feel right breaking that kind of news over the phone or text. And frankly, you were torn between stressing about Jake’s reaction to your news and wanting to have the upper hand so that you could jump out strangle him the second that he got home. 
“Daddy’s home!” Charlie called, setting off a chain reaction. 
You looked up to see the kids run over to the door to greet Jake. Trying to not get too caught up in how excited the kids were to see their dad, you focused on getting the table set up for dinner. The door swung open and Jake stepped inside, immediately dropping his bag and holding out his arms. 
“You’re all here for me?” he teased, pulling your three kids in for a hug and kiss. “Well, aren’t I just the luckiest guy?”
Sniffling, you set down the plates full of food for the kids before turning back for the kitchen to get started on the dishes. Jake usually did them after dinner, but you just needed to do something to steady yourself. Jake released your kids, telling them to go and wash their hands, before turning to you. 
“Hey, Mama,” he greeted you, playfully tapping your ass. Wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you away from the dishes, he pressed a kiss to your shoulder and then your neck. “How was your day?”
“Oh, I just found out some news,” you replied, seemingly calm. 
“What kind of news?” Jake asked curiously. 
“The kind that will have you sleeping on the couch tonight,” you stated, a bit more aggravation seeping into your tone. 
“What? What’s wrong?” Jake questioned, confused and looking a bit like a kicked puppy with your harsh tone. But that look wasn’t going to do him any favors today. 
“You didn’t keep up your end of the deal.”
“Honey, what deal?”
“The one where you promised to not knock me up with another one of your heavy, always late, big-headed children!”
“Wait, you—you’re pregnant?” Jake breathed out, inspecting you closer. “Really?”
“I could easily knee you in the balls right now,” you warned Jake, eyes narrowing. “Maybe I need to since your ‘vasectomy’ clearly didn’t work!”
“What’s with the air quotes?” Jake asked, grabbing your hands. “Honey, you were there.”
“Not in the operating room.”
“Were you supposed to be?”
“Jacob,” you warned him, shooting him a look to shut up. 
“Mommy, Liam was trying to eat the soap again,” Charlie complained, causing you to look away from Jake. 
“For the love of—Liam, what did I tell you about eating soap?”
“I got this,” Jake told you, turning to walk over to the bathroom. “Just . . . sit down and breathe.”
Jake walked off to grab Liam while you scrubbed away at the dishes again. Charlie sat down at the table, closely followed by Annie and then Jake carried out Liam and sat him in his chair. Turning to see you still erratically scrubbing at the same pot, Jake sighed and approached you. He called your name, but you didn’t look up. 
“Honey,” Jake tried again, “let’s just eat and I’m sure that you’re exhausted and probably just want to shower and go to bed.”
“I made an appointment with my obstetrician and with your urologist,” you replied, changing the subject on your husband. 
“My urologist?”
“About your ‘vasectomy’,” you stated, adding passive aggressive air quotes again around vasectomy. “It’s in a month.”
“When? I have a bunch of—”
“—I already called your secretary and picked a time that fits into your schedule.” Turning to shoot your husband a look, you wiped off your hands on a towel. “You’re going.”
You stormed past him, leaving no room for argument. Jake winced and watched you walk over to the dinner table with your three kids. And although you looked just about ready to rip his head off and could very possibly read his thoughts, Jake couldn’t help but think about how much better the dining table set would look with six chairs instead of five. 
But he wasn’t going to talk about that right now. He wanted to wake up tomorrow morning. 
~~~~~
Jake sat on the exam table while you paced around the room with your arms folded across your chest and your purse in the optimal position to swing it and whack your husband. You were already starting to show and your appointment with your obstetrician was the week before. You and the baby were perfectly healthy despite the fact that you were in ‘advanced maternal age.’ 
Your husband slept on the couch after that appointment too just because you were feeling spiteful about that. 
Jake was still dressed in his uniform, on a short break from work to attend this appointment. He met you at the doctor’s office while Dana Fitch invited your kids over for the afternoon. And although he tried to brighten your mood by promising to grab dinner on his way home and maybe something extra, you face was permanently screwed into a frown since you arrived at the office. 
A knock on the door caused you to stop pacing and turn as the urologist slowly stepped into the room with a kind smile. 
“Mr. and Mrs. Seresin. How are we?”
“Pregnant,” you stated bluntly. 
“Yes, I heard. Congratulations,” the urologist replied somewhat awkwardly before taking his seat. “Though I’m assuming you’re wondering how that’s possible.”
“You read my mind,” you responded calmly and not at all sarcastic. 
“Well, I should inform you that you’re not the first couple to have a pregnancy after a vasectomy. While it’s not common, it can still happen.”
“And in this case?”
“I’m not entirely sure without any additional tests,” the urologist replied honestly. “And in this case, I think that starting with a sample is the best course of action. Once we have those results, we can discuss whether or not another vasectomy is necessary.”
“Another one?” Jake asked quietly. 
But he instantly tried to bite back his words when he caught the way that your head snapped around to shoot him a glare. 
“Oh, that must be so inconvenient and painful for you to have to deal with,” you drawled sarcastically, causing Jake to wince. 
“Sorry.”
You left the room to let Jake talk with the urologist privately and to check in on the kids. Glancing at the door to make sure that you were in fact gone, the urologist turned to Jake. 
“I’m not trying to overstep and cause any trouble but we often ask men in this position if there is any possibility of them wanting a paternity test,” the urologist offered, causing Jake to chuckle. 
“Not necessary,” Jake replied, laughing off the absurdity of the urologist’s suggestion. “Just some strong swimmers. That’s all.”
~~~~~
Jake headed out to the parking lot to see you sitting on a bench in the shade of the building, furiously typing away at your phone. Approaching carefully, like he was approaching a wild animal, he slowly sat down beside you. 
“They’ll call me back with the results in a few days,” Jake stated, causing you to nod and put away your phone. “Are you okay?”
“I still want to kick you in the balls,” you stated, shooting your husband a look. 
“Have I mentioned that I greatly appreciate your restraint?” Jake offered, causing you to scoff. “Honey, I can’t read your mind. Please just tell me what’s bothering you.”
“I just . . . I can’t believe we’re those people,” you sighed, holding a hand to your head. 
“What do you mean by those people?”
“You know, those people. Those couples who were dumb enough after having three kids to not know what birth control is. Those couples that can’t keep their hands off of each other and just fuck around like a bunch of animals and there’s evidence for all of it! I mean, who sets out planning to have four kids?”
“Baby, who gives a shit about what other people think about us?” Jake replied seriously, grabbing your hand. “It’s none of their business about how many kids we do or don’t have. And I’m not going to apologize to anyone for maintaining a healthy sex life with my wife after three kids. Are you?”
“No,” you huffed, folding your arms across your chest. “Of course not.” Pausing for a moment, you turned back to Jake. “I kind of rubbed it in stupid Gina Denison’s face that we’re still banging a few days ago.”
Gina Denison was one of the moms of Charlie’s friend group. Her husband was a tool and looked like he hated his life every time he showed up.  And Gina was always so flirty with Jake, grabbing his arm and complimenting him on everything, that you contemplated kicking your son’s soccer ball straight into her face. 
“She did look pretty glum actually,” Jake mused, rubbing your knee. 
“Good.”
“Then what’s there to worry about?” Jake asked, causing you to sigh. 
“There’s the whole bedroom situation first of all. Unless we want to turn the guest room into the nursery, the kids are going to have to share.”
“We’ll just convert the playroom upstairs. Easy fix. A new coat of paint and moving some things around and we’re fine.”
“And we can only fit three car seats into the back of your truck.”
“Then we’ll take the other car for family outings,” Jake pointed out softly, rubbing your knee again.
“And Liam’s still coming into our bed most nights. What happens when I’m eight months pregnant and there’s no room?”
“I’ll have a talk with him about it,” Jake offered, causing you to raise an eyebrow. 
“You’ve talked to him about it a hundred times already. What’s changed?”
“I have my ways.”
And by ‘his ways,’ Jake was quietly referring to the fact that when you were heavily pregnant, you snored. Loudly. And now Jake had never told you that when you were heavily pregnant you snored because he wasn’t an idiot. It was like complaining about how uncomfortable the chairs were in the delivery room. Only a fucking selfish pathetic loser complained about that stuff to his pregnant wife. 
And he already had a slip up with the whole second vasectomy thing in there and he was trying to quickly recover from that. 
Turning to you and gently cupping your cheek so that you turned to him, Jake leaned in and rested her forehead against your own. 
“Honey, you know that I’m here, right? You don’t have to go through this alone and you don’t have to hold all of the stress about it. We’re fine. We have the money. We have the space. We have the extra hands if we need babysitters. And for anything else, just tell me about it. I’m here for you and our four babies. Anything you want, you let me know, okay?”
“Okay,” you agreed softly, pressing a kiss to his lips. Smiling up at your husband through your eyelashes, you suddenly grew serious. “I want you to get another vasectomy.”
“Yeah, I thought you were going to say that,” Jake sighed, wincing a bit again. 
~~~~~
Jake was turning forty this year. The big 4-0. And it only seemed fitting to him that he got to have his four kids by his side for this birthday. But since it happened to fall on a random Tuesday that Jake had to work, you and the kids just put together a small party for him. You cooked him his favorite dinner and the kids gave him the card that they made for him. And then it was time for the cake. 
“Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday Daddy, Happy Birthday to you!” you and three of your kids sang along. 
But little baby Hazel, who was about a year and a half now, was more focused on trying to touch the cake with her finger than singing. Jake smiled and grabbed her hand, shaking it to distract her long enough for you to take a photo. 
“Alright, time to blow out the candles!” you called, holding up your phone to take the photo.
“On three,” Jake instructed your kids. “Ready? One . . . two . . . three.” 
Your four kids, who were all seated or standing next to Jake, blew out the candles with him. You snapped a few quick photos before putting your phone away. Jake started clapping, causing Hazel to giggle and clap along too. You quickly grabbed the cake and cut it up. Passing around the slices of cake, you smiled and pressed a loving kiss to your husband’s lips. 
“Happy Birthday, Jake.”
“Thank you, baby,” he returned, shooting you a wink. 
Your kids talked excitedly with Jake about the upcoming weekend. Jake’s parents were flying in for his birthday and you were going to take a short vacation as a family. Jake listened and talked intently with your children before it was time to start the bedtime routines. You and Jake worked together to get Hazel and then Liam and then Annie and Charlie all ready for bed. 
And once the kids were all asleep and tucked away for the night, you grabbed Jake by the hand and pulled him into your shared bedroom. In about three seconds flat, you had Jake on his back and straddled him. 
“Happy Birthday,” you grinned, pressing a set of needy kisses to his lips. 
“Are you my present?” Jake asked coyly, kneading your hips with his hands. 
“Sure am, Cowboy,” you replied, pulling off your shirt and tossing it onto the floor. But before you kissed him again, you quickly cursed and got up to lock the door to your bedroom. Smiling apologetically at Jake, you quickly hopped up onto the bed again. “Don’t want to risk the kids walking in on us.”
“It’s my birthday. Tonight, you’re mine. All mine,” Jake agreed, pulling you in for another kiss. 
And with assurance that his second vasectomy was successful, you happily started on your birthday gift for him.
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captainreecejames · 1 month
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The failed soft launch series (Lando's Version)
author's note : okay so here is lando's version (obvs) and if you guys want me to write with other drivers in mind (only Oscar, Logan, Alex, Yuki, Liam, Pierre, and Carlos) send me a message and preferably what picture you think would fit with this idea thanks! Also since I don't have a master list all my stories are tagged 'my stories' so you can find them
pairing : lando norris x fem!reader *no faceclaim*
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ynusername posted a story
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landonorris babe ynusername hi landonorris you're gonna regret this in the morning
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ynusername brb changing my name to lando.jpg.bts tagged : landonorris
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landonorris lovely idea but what about the normal content? I need pictures to drool over ↳ lance_stroll wank bank? ↳ landonorris shut up I don't want to go to another meeting about that
oscarpiastri dont do that. I don't need more lando on my feed ↳ landonorris then unfollow ↳ oscarpiastri blocked and reported
yourbsfinstagram i agree with oscar, no more lando
ynfans1 and we say more lando!!! yn give the people what they want ↳ ynfans2 more lando boyfriend content!!!
ynusername also lando, i didn't regret my story so haha jokes on you↳ landonorris jokes on you too cause now i get to share all my pictures of you
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For those who don’t know, I am the technical admin for a Minecraft server. Now I have slightly above average skills with computers, but nothing to call home about, since computers generally act weird around me. That said I was the best equipped for it so me and @the-seelie-court-official started it up together, me for technical stuff and Dion for community stuff.
Now let me tell you about the Haunting on the Minecraft server.
One of the things I wanted to set up was NPC shop keeps. Now these shop keeps look like players, and I can code them to type in chat and to walk around, but they aren’t players. They aren’t counted in the server list, they only say the words I’ve given them. One of these Npcs was Herb, the Herbalist. They sold plants.
This was their skin, by the way.
Now one day herb stopped talking, this was odd so I tried to select them, like I had done so many times before, but it wouldn’t work. Whenever I tried I was met with error messages. I couldn’t select them, so I couldn’t delete them, I couldn’t move them, they had cut their strings and I the puppet master was forced to place an end portal beneath them and drop them into the void.
I thought this would be the last of it.
Fast forward a couple months and the server is up and running for public use. The players got into the end to find the end dragon missing, and upon building out to make an enderman farm we found herb. They were hovering, in the void. Easily accessible, I still couldn’t select them to change them or edit them so we just let them stay, floating above the yawning void that was meant to get rid of them.
Over time the server got more and more glitchy, chunks were being loaded by the thousand with only one or two people on at a time. After some serious sleuthing we (me and my team) found that the server recognized a ghost player. One that wasn’t listed when you pressed Tab, but was listed on the server side. The console of the server was filled with error messages almost constantly, cascading errors of Null, of Not Found despite the fact herb was right there.
Eventually it came to a head, the corn plants and slimefun crops went Wrong. Corrupted just like herb. And with fields of Steve heads staring back from what should be a farm we agreed that we would completely delete the world. The world that herb was in, that whole dimension. In hopes it would finally get rid of them.
We thought it worked, that we had finally be rid ourselves of this beast of my own creation. An hour later Herb Appeared at the world spawn. As if nothing had happened.
Finally I had to resort to burying them in a bedrock box directly under world spawn, because while I couldn’t move them I could break the blocks under them to make them fall. They sit down there trapped, vomiting error messages any time they are looked at or touched. Waiting for the chance to destroy what we have built.
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cissyenthusiast010155 · 2 months
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Can I make a very NSFW request? Severus x reader fem. Ever since Severus and Y/N had sex for the first time, Severus feels a lot of sexual desire, and he likes to have his girlfriend moaning for him all the free time they have.
"Are you tired, love? So soon? Don't worry, you stay in bed and enjoy while I work between your pretty legs"—Severus
Addicted to My Girl ~Severus Snape xFem Reader
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Summary— Established Relationship, ever since Severus first heard Reader properly moan, he can’t get enough of her. He now lives to draw those sinful sounds from her. Smut ensues. Anon Response— Hi hi hi anon!! Thanks for the request! Yes, I absolutely would love to write this for you. Thank you for your detailed explanation. I sincerely hope you Enjoy this! ♥️
Mommy… Master List
Requests & Prompt-List
Prompt— "Are you tired, love? So soon? Don't worry, you stay in bed and enjoy while I work between your pretty legs"
Warnings: NSFW, 18+!!!, smut, fingering, sex, p in v, implied clit stimulation, overstimulation, light praise, pet names, voice/moan kink, honeymoon phase, established relationship, implied future smut, etc.
Enjoy (;
From the second that Severus had heard an unbridled moan erupt from your throat and vibrate through your entire body for the first time, the man was hooked. Owned. Addicted. Powerless. At your mercy.
You were spread out on top of his desk. Your legs wide and Severus planted in the middle of them. Clothes were discarded all across the room. It was heated and passionate. You had both finally snapped, not even making it to the bedroom.
Marks were littered across the neck and chest, but Severus’ tongue was not working away at something else. You gasped and your hand jumped into his head of hair, as the man’s tongue went feral on your cunt.
“OhhHhHh Sevvvvv—!!”
Before you could stop it, your sinfully loud moan tore through all the fibers of your being. Severus stopped at that, looking up at you dumbfounded.
Severus now spent all of his waking hours, that weren’t taken up by his classes, coaxing more heavenly sounds from your lips.
His sex drive, while he had always had one, had fucking skyrocketed since that first night, when you and Severus had first had sex. He couldn’t get you off his mind. Hell, he spent most of his time alone just getting himself off to the thought of you.
Severus stole you away every second he could get you. When you both had free blocks, the man was guaranteed to be teasing you or already in between your legs in some capacity.
Severus was extra lucky today, because it was Friday night, and neither of you had anything planned after your last class in the afternoon. So Severus thought you’d both skip the great hall dinner, after all, the man had the perfect dinner in front of him already…
It wasn’t even dark out yet, and Severus already had you in his lap as he sat in his office desk chair. The man’s fingers had simply slipped under your garments and past your knickers, sliding in and out of your cunt with ease. Your eyes rolled back as you held onto your man for dear life as he bounced you up and down on his fingers.
“S-sev… I’m going to… OhhHhH Sevvv…!” You moaned lewdly, nuzzling your face into the crook of Severus’ neck as you moaned out.
Severus eyes darkened further at your beautiful, addictive sounds.
“That’s it, my love… Cum on my fingers… Again…” Severus told you in his destructively low and sultry, sexy tone.
You held nothing back, crashing over the edge for the second time in the last 40 minutes, having already cum once in Severus’ lap from mere clit stimulation. You let out another sinful moan as you reached ecstasy, biting into your man’s neck to manage the overwhelming pleasure.
Severus fingered you through your high with ease, knowing just the right way to bring you down from your climax, while keeping you buzzing for more.
The man then gently removed his fingers from your dripping cunt, licking his digits clean, before he picked you up bridal style and carried you to your shared bedroom. He laid you on the bed, where you instinctively began to curl up with a yawn. But Severus chuckled, crawling up on top of you, beginning to remove his and your clothing. You giggled and let him help you with objection on your end.
“Are you tired, love? So soon? Don't worry, you stay in bed and enjoy while I work between your pretty legs” he cooed lustfully, coming up to your face and giving you a cheeky kiss on the lips, as he spread out your naked form across the bed.
You gasped as you felt Severus’ dick grinding against your dripping core. You immediately grabbed any and all of his exposed skin, pulling his body against yours and moaning once more.
“Tsk tsk tsk, not so fast, my love… Want a proper taste of you first…” Severus hummed, getting off of you to your dismay, and lowering himself down the bed so that his mouth was level with the cunt.
Your hand found purchase again in his hair as the man’s mouth began to devour your precious pussy. His tongue glided in and out of your core with ease, lapping up all your juices and using his own spit as even more lubricant. You threw your head back and let out a groan, as his tongue worked your centre.
“F-fuck Sevvviiiii—” you choked out, pulling tightly on his hair, as Severus buried his face in your cunt and pressed his nose against your clit while his mouth continued to work its wonders on your cunt.
Severus groaned in delight at your sounds, struggling with the urge to take you right there. But he took a deep breath and simply fucked you harder, knowing the wait would be well worth it. His tone continued to swirl its way through your folds, alternating between stimulating your clit and your entrance. And as soon as you tugged at his locks hard enough a gave him a desperate mewl of need, his tongue sunk into your core.
“Christ Severus Yesssssss…!!” You moaned, your back arching and toes curling into his touch.
The man worked you up with precise skill, having paid intense attention to exactly what made your eyes roll back. The pad of his thumb began to roll your clit, making your knees wobble and pulling another string of whimper and groans from your lips. By the time you reached your third edge, you were a begging mess.
“Please please Sevvv Oh God please—!”
Severus happily hummed into your cunt, “Cum for me, my Darling…”
Your third orgasm rocked over you like a fucking tsunami, feeling like every single one of your nerves were on fire as a hot, white pleasure took over your entire body. You sparked underneath your man’s hold, but he never relented, continuing to tongue fuck you through your high.
By the end of your climax, your vision was a little blurry and you were shaking.
“Still want more…?” Severus’ voice gently asked, as he came up from in between your thighs.
“Mhmmmmm yessss, give it to me Sev…” you mumbled, with a drunken nod.
With a smirk, Severus lined himself up with your dripping heat. You held onto the man in a vice grip as he sunk down into you. And the man nearly came right there from the sinful moan that spilled from your lips… Bloody Hell, he would be chasing those pretty noises of yours for the rest to his life.
~~~
Severus Snape Masterlist
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astrolynnworld · 4 months
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Astro’s Master List :)
(additional info about writer at the bottom)
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ᡣ𐭩- smut
彡 - fluff
————————————
chris fics:
- faded views ᡣ𐭩
- movie date ᡣ𐭩
- links ᡣ𐭩
- baby bump 彡
- stress reliever ᡣ𐭩
- overstimulation ᡣ𐭩
- links 2 ᡣ𐭩
- soft secrets ᡣ𐭩
- candy ᡣ𐭩
- needs ᡣ𐭩
- links 3 ᡣ𐭩
- beach day ᡣ𐭩
- no space ᡣ𐭩
- eiffle tower ᡣ𐭩
- limitless ᡣ𐭩
- links 4 ᡣ𐭩
matt fics:
- under the tablet pt 1, pt 2 ᡣ𐭩
- wanting you pt 1, pt 2 ᡣ𐭩
- links ᡣ𐭩
- release ᡣ𐭩
- bondage ᡣ𐭩
- aftercare 彡
- links 2 ᡣ𐭩
- caught ᡣ𐭩
- blue confessions 彡
- car sex ᡣ𐭩
- links 3 ᡣ𐭩
- sensual showers ᡣ𐭩
- eiffle tower ᡣ𐭩
- cramps 彡
- limitless ᡣ𐭩
- links 4 ᡣ𐭩
———————————————————————
about the author:
- i am an 18 year old black female! pronouns she/her
- i write about 70% smut and 30% fluff
- please feel free to send requests and give me ideas to write about (anonymous or not)
- i appreciate all feedback given, just please be nice about it
- i don’t mind touching down on any kink other than scat or sounding. although, most kinks will not be touched unless asked for
- if there is a problem with me or my writing; feel free to reach out to me, unfollow me, or block me completely!
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2soulscollide · 1 year
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my favorite free tools for writers
hello, hello! hope you're doing well.
today i am bringing you another list with my top 3 favorite (free!) tools that I find helpful for each phase of writing a novel.
brainstorming phase
Fantasy Names Generator - not only for fantasy (you can also generate real names). this website is just... amazing! it helps you come up with names for characters, places and locations, descriptions, generate traits, outfits (yes, outfits!!), and probably something else you could ever think of.
The Story's Hack - this one is so cool! you can generate names for everything, create your own generator, and practice writing through writing exercises! plus, you can save your generated names to see later, and you earn coins for each idea generated (you can later buy themes - dark, snow, forest, etc)
RanGen - my last favorite generator on this list is RanGen! you can generate plots, appearances, archetypes, love interests, cities, worlds, items, and more.
developing the idea phase
Bryn Donovan - in this blog you can find master lists under the tag "master lists for writers". it is so helpful when you first start developing the characters and need to find the right words to describe them and to find some quirks and flaws!
Writers Write (350 character traits) - again, this is so helpful!
Story Planner - ah, the number of times I've talked about this website... please, PLEASE take a look at it, you won't regret it. this website has literally everything you need to fully develop your idea with outlines for you to fill in step by step.
writing phase
Colleen Houck (80+ barriers to love) - need more romace conflict? there you go!
Cheat Sheets for Writing Body Language - so, you know how your character's feeling, but don't know how he'd physically act? check out this list!
Describing Words - honestly, this is a lifesaver. don't you struggle to find the right word to describe something? well, with this website all you have to do is to type the object you're trying to describe and see which description fits better to you!
revising phase
Language Tool for Google Docs - i know we all have heard about google docs before, but the truth is, it's almost impossible to find free softwares to check grammar and spelling. so, google docs is useful, because it automatically revises it for us, and it's completely free. plus, you can add adds-on, such as "language tool".
Unfortunately, there's only one (free) tool that I actually enjoy for the revising phase. if you know some others, please let me know so that I can try them out and feature in this list.
exporting phase
Google Docs - i find google docs very easy to format and export to .epub, so i'd recommend using it as a free tool.
Reedsy - this is also a free tool available online. all you have to do is to write down each chapter (copy and paste) or import your word document. it will format the document to your liking and export it to pdf, epub and mobi.
that's everything for now! i hope this post was somehow helpful or inspiring!
if you want to see more master lists full of resources, check these:
WEBSITES FOR WRITERS {masterpost}
BEST accounts to follow as a writer
BEST SITES & SOFTWARES TO WRITE FICTION
DIALOGUE IDEAS TO GET RID OF THAT WRITING BLOCK (masterpost)
Useful Resources & Tips for Writers
also, if you are a notion lover just like me, check the free template I just released with everything you need to develop and write your novel!
thank you so much for reading! hope to see you around, and have a nice day <3
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thegreatwicked · 1 month
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This obviously needed its own post and here it is, a collection of blog posts and resources I have found and used for my own writing, I hope they help you too! Go forth and write that spice!
The Smut Writers Dictionary By @maybeeatspaghetti Seriously, how many different way are there to write cock? Does anyone else wonder if they've used the word 'lips' too many times? Well, this is a good place to start!
The Ultimate Guide to Writing Smut This is the first one I found and I go back to it frequently! There's also some great information about specific areas of sex that may not be common knowledge for first time writers!
How to Write Smut By @urfriendlywriter Another great source of information from different verbiage to use and a few tips to hel you along (giggity)
Smut Thesaurus By @prurientpuddlejumper just what it sounds like and you can never have too many words at your disposal.
6 Steps to Writing Better Sex By @chaoschaoswriting If you're at a loss or just want some more help this is antoher fantastic blog!
Writing Prompts NSFW By @seidenbros Need some dialogue? Or a story idea? Have a look!
#100 NSFW/Smut Dialogue Prompts By @a-cure-for-writers-block More? More. This is also a fantastic writing blog with lots to offer!
Intimate + Sexual Headcannon Questions By @petalsprompts Good questions to ask your characters to get to know them better and make more well rounded characters!
Smut & Mature (18+) Master List By @pendarling A great list dialogue prompts, scenarios, and helpful bits!
Poly NSFW Alphabet By @smaoineamhsalach Another great way to get to know your characters and maybe a handful of ideas for story ideas.
Kink Prompts Another from the previous blogger above and I didn't know what half of these are! I'll work on a kink dictionary next!
Writing Smut 101: Overcoming Smut Shame @slightlyrebelliouswriter23 There's a lot to be said for this particular subject! It's hard to write stuff like this, so how do you get over it? Start here!
How to Write a Kiss Scene By @youneedsomeprompts Yes!!! I still struggle with this one! There's a thousand ways to kiss, find your favorite!
Smut Oneliners By @deity-prompts you can never have enough one-liners!!
How to Write a (Great) Sex Scene Another great article for new smut writers
9 Tips for Writing Steamy Scenes More tips to help you wirte good steamy stuff!
How to Write Erotica and a Damn Fine Sex Scene A WEALTH if information on writing, structuring, and helpful tips!
@saradikahas a fantatic blog with graphics for you to use to add some fun to your posts. Things like MDNI Banners, 18+ Content Warnings, Support Your Favorite Writers and Reblog banners! They are free to use but she does ask that you reblog her stuff if you do! She's also a very talented writer and she writes some AMAZING Din Djarin stories!
Gay Sex Positions Guide This is a WONDERFUL adition and thank you so much @b7bubby for bringing this to my attention, I didn't have any resources for writing M/M fairings but this is a much needed addition to the spicy community! i've never written an M/M pairing and I feel like such an idiot for overlooking the need for a resource like this!
If you find any other great smut writing resources feel free to tag me so I can add them to this list! Good luck with your writing! Now go write that story and LET THE SPICE FLOW!!!!
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7s3ven · 3 months
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UR MY LOVER. luke (pjo)
( master list )
IN WHICH… Camp Half-Blood has its very own band to entertain themselves. Most of the campers aren’t sure where they get their electricity for their instruments but one thing they are certain about is that the substitute lead singer and lead guitarist definitely have a thing for each other.
“Look in my eyes, they will tell you the truth. The girl in my story has always been you.”
A/N : Luke seems like he’d be in a band
Warning : sex references, some details differ from the og books, modern references
Y/N has been lounging in the sun on her rickety front porch when something, or rather someone, blocked the rays of warmth. She groaned, lowering her sunglasses to get a better look at who was bothering her.
“What?” She grumbled to the mischievous son of Hermes, Luke. It’s not like she hated him, quite the opposite to be honest. His presence was a breath of fresh air in her stressful days at Camp Half-Blood. But she was sleep-deprived and in desperate need of a rest. Luke merely smiled down at her, unthreatened by her hostile tone.
“Hey, little bolt.” He uttered, crouching down beside her to almost match her height. Y/N rolled her eyes, pushing her glasses back up with her middle finger. “So as you know, Chiron is letting us form a band. The only problem is I have an electric guitar and, you know, it needs electricity. And there’s not enough ‘round here. Personally, I think we’re lucky to have a daughter of Zeus.”
Y/N scoffed. “No.” She quickly retorted, already guessing what he was going to ask her. “I won’t power your stupid performances.”
“What? Why would I ask that? I was going to ask you if you wanted a quicky backstage.” Luke sarcastically joked, his lips curving into a cheeky smirk. Y/N’s lips curled into an unamused sneer as she set her sharp gaze on the boy beside her. “Help me out this one time, babe.”
“Ew,” She furrowed her eyebrows in disgust, “Don’t call me that.”
“Come on, sweetheart. I ain’t gonna stop until you agree. I won’t ever ask for this favor again, pudding.” His nicknames were becoming increasingly worse and Y/N's ears were practically bleeding. Y/N cringed and covered her ears, desperately wanting to bang her head into a wall to drown his voice out. Her last thread was Luke calling her kitty.
“Okay!” She sat up, flinging her glasses at him. Luke effortlessly caught them, looking down at the intricate rims. He traced his fingers over the gems embedded in the sides. They shined in the light and small rainbows reflected off them. “Just stop calling me those horrid names!” She exclaimed, slapping his shoulder.
He grinned, “Deal. Practice is tonight, 8 pm sharp. Don’t be late.” He tossed Y/N’s glasses back at her and quickly stood up. “See ya, princess.”
Y/N wanted to hurl a rock at him for that stupid pet name but Luke was already running away, bellowing out a laugh as he tilted his head back in amusement. “I’m going to electrocute you, Luke! I hope your guitar backfires!” She screamed, earning another chuckle from Luke.
“Yo, guys.” He burst into his cabin, grinning at Chris and Charles who were positioned on his bed, lazily lying down. “Y/N’s in. Now we just need a lead singer. Charles, how’s convincing Silena going?”
Charles pressed his lips into a thin line. “You know she has stage fright.” He uttered, referring to his girlfriend, “Maybe if I mentioned that Y/N will be there then she’ll go? I think she has a girl crush on Y/N.” Charles let out a low chortle.
Everyone liked Y/N, apart from when she was deprived of sleep and grumpy. She was like a fire ready to flare up, stalking its way through the high grass.
“So, how did you convince Y/N? I heard from Annabeth that she was in a particularly bad mood today.” Chris uttered, chuckling. "Did you promise her sex or something?" Luke shrugged as Charles chucked a can of Sprite his way.
He pulled back the tab and the can opened with a pop and fizz. “Nah. A part of me wishes, though. I might get some if I did. But, I have my ways.” He retorted, grinning. “Band practice is at eight. Charles, do your best to get Silena on board because I can’t deal with Clarisse as lead singer.” Luke sighed, taking a huge gulp from his can. Chris chuckled while Charles silently nodded in agreement.
“She is rather hard to deal with.” Charles muttered, his voice almost a whisper in fear that Clarisse would overhear him.
Luke would have asked Y/N to be the band’s lead singer but he knew she wasn’t happy with having to power up his guitar. She’d rather jump in water than agree to sing and she hated water. It probably had something to do with the fact that she could create electricity with her bare hands.
Water and lightning never went well together.
Luke was buzzing with excitement as he jogged towards an abandoned cabin Chiron had agreed to let them use for practice. He opened the creaky door, surprised to see Y/N already sitting on a dusty couch.
“I already hate it here.” She said, turning to face him. He cracked a grin.
“Not enough sleep last night, huh?”
Y/N scoffed, shaking her head. “I barely got any. Some idiots were up all night, singing their hearts out to Olivia Rodrigo.” Luke was ashamed to admit that those idiots were him, Chris, and the Stoll brothers. “I mean, how much of a loser do you have to be to scream your heart out to jealousy?”
“I don’t know.” Luke shrugged, sitting next to her. Dust surrounded the air around him and he coughed, fanning it away with his hand. His actions made Y/N lightly chuckle. “Maybe they related to the lyrics. Unlike you, perfect girl.”
Y/N scoffed, rolling her eyes. “I’m not perfect. I’m far from it.” Luke quickly turned to face her, resting his arm on the back of the couch.
“How come? You’re pretty and smart and you’ve got Zeus as your dad. Come on, you hit the jackpot on that one.” Luke grinned and the corners of Y/N’s lips twitched.
“You think I’m perfect?” She asked, confused. She quietly laughed, giving Luke an almost judging stare. “I don’t even have my life together. How can I be perfect?”
“Most of us don’t have our lives together. Look at me, I’m well over sixteen now and I’m starting a band at camp because there’s nothing to do ‘round here. And I’m also sitting in a dodgy looking cabin with dust everywhere. But hey, at least I have a pretty girl with me.”
Y/N stared at Luke for a second before she huffed in amusement. “You’re a no-good flirt, Luke.” She playfully shoved him.
“You seem in a better mood.” He smiled, proud of himself.
“You had nothing to do with it, I can assure you.” She rolled her eyes and turned her head, spotting Chris, Silena, and Charles walking towards the cabin. “Looks like your band mates are here.” She uttered, sitting up.
“Hey man, what’s up!” Chris joyfully greeted Luke while Charles’ approach was more quiet. Silena smiled at Luke and waved at Y/N with a bright smile.
“Alright, so everybody’s here. We got Charles on drums, Chris as back up guitar, me as lead and sub vocals, and Silena as vocals.” Luke loudly clapped his hands as away to earn everybody’s attention.
“Does that make me your back-up generator then?” Y/N butted in.
“Yeah. Hold this, darling.” Luke handed her a cord that connected to his guitar and she begrudgingly took it.
“No more names.” She warned, sending a small current to shock Luke. He yelped, taken aback, all while Y/N smirked. She stayed true to her words to electrocute Luke if he ever annoyed her.
Y/N lay on the couch, clutching onto the cord and aimlessly staring at the ceiling. The sound of Charles’ loud drums and Silena’s soft voice merged with the loud ringing in Y/N’s ears. She kept her eyes fixed on a certain spot, completely dazed until Luke pressed a cold can to her face.
“We’re taking a break.” He said, offering her a drink. She arched an eyebrow.
“Why are you giving me one?” She questioned, sitting up and taking it away.
Luke shrugged. “I mean, you are powering up my guitar. You deserve a little thanks.”
Y/N merely stared at Luke before cracking open the can, taking a small sip. “I trust you haven’t drugged this?”
Luke lightly snorted. “I have no purpose to put coke in your drink.” He held out his hand, silently asking for sip. Y/N shoved the can into his arms.
“So, when did you get the idea of forming a band?” She questioned, tapping her foot against the wooden floor. She glanced at Luke who smiled, a strange wishful look in his gaze.
“I’ve always loved music.” He admitted, “And being a demigod, you don’t exactly have a lot of chances. I did play at one festival, though… and it was amazing. But then I got attacked by a monster.” Luke chuckled under his breath, shaking his head in amusement. “It was still the best moment of my life. And I want that kind of joy back.”
“I’m sure you’ll get it back. What’s it like playing the guitar?” She quirked an eyebrow, tilting her head to the side. Luke grinned, his tongue peeking out from between his teeth.
“Amazing. You wanna learn?”
Y/N rolled her eyes, “I can hardly hold a guitar correctly, let alone play it, Luke.”
“Come on, pretty. I’ll show ya.”
“I need two hands to play. But I also need to power up the guitar. How do you suppose that’ll work?”
“You’ll figure out a way. You always do.”
That’s how Y/N ended up holding the plug with Luke sitting almost directly behind her, guiding her hands. He smiled as Y/N struggled, her fingers never quite reaching the right chords.
A twig snapped and Chris walked into the cabin, wiping away sweat with the back of his hand. “Man, it is hot outside- Oh, sorry. Did I interrupt something?” Chris paused, staring the pair.
“No.” Y/N quickly answered. They practically jumped away from each other. She handed Luke his guitar, clearing her throat.
“I should get going.” She announced to nobody in particular. She briefly smiled at the two boys before spinning around on her heels, quickly walking away.
“Hey, pretty, wait!” Luke stood up in a hurry but Y/N was already out the door and walking past the tall trees.
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Y/N rubbed her tired eyes as she waltzed out of her cabin, almost screaming when she saw Luke leaned up against the wall.
He grinned and greeted her, tipping an imaginary hat. “Hey, pretty. You up for charging my guitar today? I need to practice my riffs.”
Y/N thickly gulped, looking for any sign of Chris or Charles or even Silena, who she knew was busy with teaching kids archery. “… Alone?” She questioned after a long pause.
“Yeah. Does that bother you? I can practice another time.” Luke offered.
The warm sun bore down on Y/N as she stared at Luke. “No… it’s not a problem. When do you want to practice?”
Luke stood up straight, folding his arms over his chest. He grinned down at Y/N. “Right now if you’re free, pretty. But it looks like you just woke up. Bad sleep?”
“Hardly any at all. Again.” Y/N retorted, sour and harsh. She silently followed Luke to the cabin, raising her eyes in surprise when she saw the lack of dust. “You cleaned it?” She questioned, craning her head to get a better look.
“Yup. The dust was getting to my eyes.” Luke uttered. Y/N hummed in quiet approval.
“You’d make a good house husband. You can clean, you can charm your way through everything, and you can play guitar. What’s next? Cooking?”
Luke smugly smirked, “I’m actually great with a pan, pretty. I’ll make you cinnamon toast someday. Or do you prefer pancakes?”
“Food is food.” She shrugged. “So, how’s the guitar going?” She fiddled with the cord, “I always wanted to learn piano. I tried it a few times but it never stuck.”
“I think you’d look charming playing the piano, pretty.” He flirtatiously smiled, twirling a strand of Y/N’s H/C hair around his finger. Y/N stiffened, her cheeks practically glowing red.
“Are you going to practice or stare at me until we grow eighty?” Y/N muttered, leaning away from Luke.
“I think I’m going to continue staring.” He retorted, winking at her. Y/N looked away, lightly frowning.
“So, what songs are you going to sing?”
“Silena’s gonna be doing most of the vocal work but there’s one song I’ll be singing.”
Y/N raised an eyebrow, silently telling him to continue because as much as she tried to dislike being here with Luke, she was curious. Luke plucked at the guitar strings, humming out a quiet melody.
“Wait.” Y/N articulated, “You aren’t going to sing to me, right? I don’t want a Barbie moment.”
“Too bad.” Luke replied, already getting ready to sing. Y/N softly groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. She was expecting Luke’s voice to be like nails on a chalkboard, a horrible sound overall, but the lyrics slipped past his lips and Y/N found herself not entirely hating it.
“Are you seriously singing Elvis Presley?” She said over the sound of Luke’s voice and guitar. He merely grinned, nodding his head.
“Shall I stay? Would it be a sin? If I can't help falling in love with you?” Luke smiled, his gaze never faltering. He was staring straight at Y/N as he meticulously played complicated chords. She felt uncomfortable under his eyes and a part of her wanted to sink into the couch. “This is one of your favourite songs, is it not?” Luke asked as he continued strumming.
“How would you know that, Luke?”
“Trust me, pretty. I hear you singing with the Apollo kids. As grumpy as you are without sleep sometimes, you sure sound cheerful when you’re singing Elvis. Join in on the singing, won’t ya?”
“Like a river flows. Surely to the sea. Darling, so it goes. Some things are meant to be.” Luke swayed, waiting for Y/N to join. She begrudgingly did.
“Take my hand. Take my whole life, too. For I can't help…falling in love with you.” They sang in unison. Y/N’s eyes were focused straight ahead of her while Luke’s ran over her soft features and lips that had been tinted with lipstick.
“Like a river flows. Surely to the sea. Darling, so it goes. Some things are meant to be.”
Luke couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across his face as Y/N’s voice drowned out his own and he stopped singing. She was far too lost in the music to notice.
“Take my hand. Take my whole life, too. For I can't help falling in love with you.” Y/N turned back to Luke, faltering when she saw how he was staring at her. Like she was his whole world or like she had planted the beautiful stars in the sky.
“For I can't help… falling in love with you.” Luke sang the iconic last line, grinning. His face was much closer to Y/N’s than he anticipated, causing her to flinch. She didn’t shuffle away, though.
“Have I ever told you how pretty you look… pretty?” Luke chuckled at how his sentence and his nickname for Y/N clashed. The apples of her cheeks turned bright pink and she didn’t sneer at him this time. She only stared at him with eyes that were vulnerable lest Luke give her another compliment.
The door to the haughty shack slammed open, Charles entering. He spluttered in surprise when he saw Y/N and Luke. “Sorry… I can leave and come back… if you want…”
Y/N stood up, brushing the non-existent dust off her shirt. “It’s fine. I was just leaving.” She didn’t spare Luke another glance as she hurried out, flustered.
“Were you two about to kiss?” Charles questioned. Luke frustratingly groaned, holding his face in his head.
“I liked to think we were going to.”
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Y/N stood in the side lines of the stage, holding Luke’s cord while staring at a clipboard she held in her other hand. It was the list of songs Luke had given her to keep her occupied.
i, Lovesick by Laufey - sung by Silena
ii, Venus by Regina Song - sung by Silena
iii, Can’t help falling in love by Elvis - sung by Luke
The second song fit the daughter of Aphrodite. Y/N glanced at the stage, her eyes immediately finding Luke. He was helping Charles set up his drums. Luke seemed to sense her eyes on him and he lifted his head, smirking.
Y/N quickly diverted her gaze as she heard Luke jog towards her. “Hey, pretty.” He greeted her, “Silena’s vocals can only take so much singing so are you good taking over the last song?”
“No.” Y/N answered but Luke didn’t hear her, or he chose to ignore her.
“Thanks, pretty. I owe you one. Love ya!” He ran off while Y/N mentally cursed at him. She angrily looked at the list, her eyes slightly softening when she saw the song.
iv, Lover (remix) by Taylor Swift + Shawn Mendes
It was one of her favourite songs. She could remember listening to it when she wasn’t aware of her demigod status, always wishing for a love as pure as Jack and Rose’s. Despite being swamped by complicated emotions, she was still a teenage girl secretly wishing for a teen romance like the books and movies and songs suggested.
The makeshift concert started with a short light show conducted by an Iris kid and that’s when the band finally stepped out. The demigod crowd cheered, clapping their hands. The Aphrodite girls were holding signs up for Silena and Luke quietly chuckled as his Hermes brothers yelled a little too loudly.
Silena’s voice was beautiful as she sang and Y/N found herself shrinking back. How could she compete with that? She didn’t even want to sing. She was fine sitting backstage with nothing but a clipboard to stare at.
At least Luke seemed to be enjoying himself and all the attention he was gaining from the girls. Y/N felt her chest tighten. It’s not like she had feelings for Luke… did she? In this moment, Y/N wanted nothing more than to be an Aphrodite kid because at least they could sense love.
Luke sang the melody to the Elvis Presley song with as much tenderness as he did in the cabin, occasionally glancing over at Y/N to see her mouthing the words.
“Pretty, you’re up.” Luke said as the band hurried back stage for a small break. He took the guitar cord from Y/N, plugging it into some sort of machine that she didn’t recognise. “Drink some water so you don’t get dehydrated. You know the words, don’t ya?”
Y/N could only nod, too confused to process everything at once. “What about your guitar?” She asked, furrowing her eyebrows.
“It’ll be fine. Don’t ya worry.” Luke ushered her up the steps onto the brightly lit stage. “Alright guys, we’re back. Did ya miss us? Of course you did. Anyway, Silena’s swamped so we’ve got Y/N singing. Don’t worry, folks, she has a great voice when she’s feeling nice.”
Luke cheekily grinned as he adjusted his headset microphone while Y/N glared at him.
“Anyway, this song will be a duet between me and Y/N. Last song for the night, hope you guys enjoy!”
The music started playing immediately, causing Y/N to stiffen. She locked eyes with Luke, who was standing a meter away from her, nodding his head to the beat.
“We could leave the Christmas lights up 'til January. And this is our place, we make the rules.” She hesitatingly sang, earning a few hollers from the Apollo cabin. “And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear. Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?”
“Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close forever and ever? And ah, take me out, and take me home. You're my, my, my, my…” The vivid image of Y/N and Luke singing together, their faces millimetres apart, haunted Y/N. She could feel her cheeks heat up as she glanced at Luke once more only to see that he was already smiling at her.
“Lover.” Luke mouthed as Y/N sang.
Luke tapped his foot, slowly playing his guitar. “We could light a bunch of candles and dance around the kitchen, baby. Pictures of when we were young would hang on the wall. We would sit on the stoop. I'll sing love songs to you when we're eighty.”
“See, I finally got you now, honey, I won't let you fall.” They lulled out in unison. “Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close? Forever and ever, ah. Take me out, and take me home. You're my, my, my, my lover.” Their voices blended together perfectly and the crowd found themselves swaying to the music, clearly noticing the romantic tension between Luke and Y/N.
“Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand? With every guitar string scar on my hand. I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover.” Y/N nervously clasped her hands around her mic, her breath shuddering when Luke beamed at her.
“Look in my eyes, they will tell you the truth. The girl in my story has always been you.” Luke strummed the guitar cords as he walked towards Y/N, “I’d go down with the Titanic, it’s true. For you, lover.”
The music ended there, despite the song still having another chorus left. Y/N furrowed her eyebrows at Luke. “You had enough electricity this whole time?” She whispered away from the mic.
“Yeah. I just wanted to spend time with you, pretty. I like you, Y/N. More than I should admit because my fan girls will be a little upset.” Luke chuckled as he jogged off stage, Y/N following close behind.
“So I used my electricity for nothing? You could’ve just asked me to accompany you!” Y/N slapped his shoulder.
“Oh, come on, pretty. Be realistic. You wouldn’t have come if I merely asked. Even if I confessed to you then and there.”
“And what exactly do you like about me?”
“Everything, Y/N. The way your eyes shine when you read, the way you smile when you sing Elvis songs, and the way you have freckles that line up in a square, like constellations on your face. The truth is, you could break my heart into tiny little pieces and I’d still pick them up for you to hold. You like rainbows, don’t you?”
“Doesn’t everybody?”
“I adore you, Y/N. And it doesn’t matter that sometimes our worlds are coloured with different hues. Because when the colours bleed into each other, it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Apart from your face and soul, of course.”
“What if the colour turns out to be an ugly yellow?”
“You’re ruining the mood, pretty.”
Y/N clicked her tongue as she tilted forward, gingerly pressed a soft kiss to Luke’s lips. He gently gasped.
“Your mics is on, by the way.” She whispered, “Just thought you’d like to know.”
PJO TAG LIST : @lostinhisworld @julielightwood @outerbanks-stuff @jennapancake @csifandom @evrybodydies1 @kkrenae @s0ulsniper @annispamz @justanotherkpopstanlol @soraya-09 @simpforeveyone @papichulo120627 @corpsebridenightamare @lilacspider @prettylilsimp @urmomsbananabread @ur-lacol-dsylexic @hottiewifeyyyy @kamiliora @be-bap @finnickodaddy @th0tblckgrl @shoyofroyoyoyo @uniquely-her @imafrkinsimp @syraxesrevenge @ahh-chickens @dracoslovergirl @midnightstar-90 @8812-342 @liv1104 @krkiiz @arialikestea @ch16rles @lizziesliz @maryclx01 @lukecastellandefender @yuminako @coryoskywalker @julielightwood @crybabysbakery @jsbabyyy @liviessun @p3pperm1nttea @angie-esc @purplerose291 @prettylilsimp @10ava01 @froggiesstalks @happy-jj @czennieszn @gisellesprettylies @loveyava @csifandom @luvvfromme @mashiromochi @kamiliora @yorksyree @mqg125 @jamesmackreideswife @niktwazny303 @2hiigh2cry @user021099 @living-in-my-imagination88 @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @randomgurl2326 @niktwazny303
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sagesolsticewrites · 2 months
Note
Hi! I’d like to request a John “Bucky” Egan fic where he tries several times to flirt with the reader, but the reader is super oblivious about it and just thinks he’s being nice. It becomes something everyone on base talks about and gets invested in. Maybe other people set up a scheme to get them together or make the reader realize how he feels. Idk, just something funny and cute like that ig 😁
Thank you so much for requesting, Nonnie, I’ve been having so much fun with these Masters of the Air requests! I loved getting to write for our best boy Bucky 🥰 Shoutout to @blurredcolour’s Trust fic (an absolute masterpiece, check it out y’all!) for helping with the writers block on this one 😅 (Reminder that requests are open! Feel free to check out some of my favorite prompt lists in my pinned post 😊)
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction based off the portrayal by the actors in the Apple TV+ series. I hold nothing but respect for the real life individuals referenced within.
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Oblivious
“There’s my favorite nurse!”
You rolled your eyes at the phrase that announced John “Bucky” Egan’s every visit to sickbay.
“Hello, Major,” you said, turning to greet him with a mock-exasperated smile.
Bucky clutched a hand to his heart as if wounded, a hurt expression on his face. “How many times do I gotta tell you to call me Bucky, sweetheart?”
“At least a few more times, Major,” you reply, unable to hide a smile at the usual volley of friendly banter.
Major John Egan had been unusually friendly to you since the first moment he’d sauntered in to introduce himself to the medical staff as Air Exec. Your colleagues had blushed afterward and playfully insisted that he had paid you more attention than the others, but you just laughed and shook your head, insisting that he was just being nice.
This visit was simply another instance of Bucky being friendly to you; well, that and Harry Crosby’s airsickness had gotten the better of him again and he was checking up on the navigator.
You stepped aside as Bucky approached Harry’s cot, ready to update him on the goings-on since the last mission had returned.
He threw you a kind smile before perching on the stool next to Harry.
“How’s my girl treatin’ you, Crosby?”
Harry happily told him how the base had gotten a new shipment of airsickness pills and you had slipped him a spare box for his own personal use, and Bucky’s smile grew wider and wider.
You were glad to see how happy he was at the news that his friend was feeling better, and you quietly excused yourself to tend to the other patients.
Bucky sighed as you walked away.
“She still hasn’t picked up on it, huh?”
“No, Croz, she hasn’t.” sighed Bucky, “She thinks I’m just bein’… nice or friendly or something. Which I am!” He added hurriedly, “But I just…I like her so much. I wish she’d notice.”
“She will, buddy,” Harry replied, with a comforting pat on his friend’s hand, “She will.”
Bucky headed out after a few more minutes of conversation, giving you a wink and a smile as he walked past your station.
“Bucky visited again, huh?” Rebecca, one of your fellow nurses, sidled up next to you with a teasing grin.
“Yes, Major Egan came by to visit Lieutenant Crosby,” you replied, putting emphasis on their ranks.
“You’re sure that’s all he was here for? Somehow he never shows up here without an excuse to see you…”
“He’s just being nice, Becca,” you insisted, “You know how these soldier boys are.”
“But he’s always—”
“Becca,” you cut her off as gently as you can, “I really don’t wanna talk about this anymore.”
“Alright, alright,” she held her hands up in surrender, “Bucky is an off-limits topic, gotcha.”
The conversation turned to the current hot gossip, and you idly chimed in when it seemed appropriate, losing yourself in your routine tasks.
Rebecca broke off to check on Harry again, narrowing her eyes as she noticed Harry watching you.
“Something Nurse L/N can help you with, Crosby?”
He jumped, gaze darting to Rebecca as she approached.
“No ma’am, I just…”
He scrambled to think of some excuse, but all he could come up with was: “I’m trying to think of some way to get Y/N to notice Bucky!”
Rebecca blinked in surprise, then plopped down onto the stool next to his bed, leaning in conspiratorially.
“Oh thank goodness it’s not just me! He’s been at it for months but the poor girl’s just so oblivious…”
“I keep telling him to just talk to her like a normal person, but he insists on dancing around it!” Harry instantly agreed, glad to have someone besides Jean to talk to about this. “He’s been so distracted lately. If he doesn’t do something soon, I’m worried it might start to affect his flying.”
Rebecca pressed her lips into a thin line, twisting a strand of hair worriedly.
After a few moments of quiet, she spoke up again, green eyes sparkling with mischief.
“I’ve got an idea.”
———
“Hey Bucky,” Harry said at breakfast the next morning, “I’m gonna pop down to the infirmary to visit Winks, wanna come with?”
Bucky quickly agreed— he’d been meaning to check on Winks yesterday as well as Croz, but got caught up in… well, you.
As they entered, Bucky made a beeline for Winks while Harry caught Rebecca’s eye and gave a subtle nod, which she returned, signaling her part of the plan was complete.
She had removed the step stool you always used from one of the supply closets, now hidden under one of the cots nearby. When you weren’t able to reach something on one of the higher shelves, well…
Good thing Bucky was so tall.
“Y/N, would you mind grabbing some more bandages for me? My station’s running low.”
“Sure thing, Becca!” You called, stepping away from your current station to check the supply closet.
“Becca…” your confused voice called from the closet, “Do you know where the stepstool went?”
“It’s not there?” She called back, sounding equally confused. “Let’s see, um…”
She scanned the room, putting on a good show of looking for someone who could help.
“Oh, Bucky! Would you mind helping Nurse L/N grab something from the supply closet for me?”
“No problem, Becca,” came his reply, accompanied with his trademark winning smile as he nodded to Winks and made his way over to the supply closet.
It was much smaller than he’d anticipated, and barely half a foot was all that separated you as he asked, “Alright, what do ya need, sweethea—”
The pet name was cut off by the sound of the supply closet door closing.
And locking.
You lunged for the handle as Bucky reached up to turn on the single lightbulb, both of you calling out in confusion.
“Becca! What?”
“C’mon, guys, this isn’t funny!”
Harry’s voice came through the door, clear and determined.
“Just tell her how you feel, Bucky! Your tactic clearly isn’t working!”
“I— what?” You turned to Bucky, hoping he knew what in the world they were talking about.
Bucky hesitated, but seeing as it seemed he had no choice…
“Well this isn’t… exactly how I wanted to do it, but…” He took a deep breath, twisting his fingers together in an uncharacteristic display of anxiety, “I really like you, doll. I’ve liked you since I first laid eyes on you. And I’ve tried every way I know how to tell you, but nothin’ worked, so…” He gestured around at the supply closet, “I guess it came to this? Which wasn’t my idea, by the way. Just for the record. I would never…”
His voice faltered, and you realized just how close you were to him. You didn’t remember moving forward. You were just suddenly there, so close the two of you were almost breathing each other’s air.
“You… you like me?”
Bucky couldn’t help but laugh at that.
“Doll, you think I call every pretty girl workin’ here my favorite nurse?”
You flushed at the compliment.
“I thought you were just being nice, I didn’t…”
“I mean, I was bein’ nice,” He said with a shrug, grinning, “Just not quite in the way you were thinking.”
Bucky’s eyes flicked down to your mouth, and being this close to you, he couldn’t hide the bob of his throat as he swallowed nervously.
“I’d, uh. I’d really like to kiss you right now, if that’s alright with you, sweetheart.”
You nodded slowly, “I think I’d really like that, Major Egan.”
“It’s Bucky, sweetheart,” he murmured softly as he leaned in, capturing your lips.
You may or may not have spent more than a few lonely nights in your bunk imagining what it would be like to kiss Major John Egan.
Your imaginings were nothing compared to reality.
This was magic unlike anything you could have dreamed.
Your arms wound around his neck as his wrapped around your waist, pulling you flush against him. You toyed with the dark curls at the nape of his neck as he slanted his mouth against yours, deepening the kiss. Needing to be closer, you tried to step towards him, but merely succeeded in pressing him back against the shelves.
Ordinarily you would apologize, but something like a thrill ran up your spine when you felt him grin into the kiss as his back hit the shelves, knocking rolls of bandages and boxes of gauze onto the floor.
His right hand moved to cup your cheek, keeping your lips connected as his other hand splayed across your back, pulling you impossibly closer as you arched into him.
You could still feel him grinning as he murmured against your lips, “Knew you were feisty under that good girl act.”
“Bucky,” you whined softly as he pulled away from you, chest heaving.
“Oh, now she uses my name,” he teased breathlessly, bumping his nose playfully against yours.
The two of you flinched as sunlight spilled into the dim closet, a harsh change from the dingy yellow lightbulb you had become accustomed to.
Harry and Rebecca stood in the doorway, wearing twin smug grins.
“Looks like our work here is done,” Becca said, shooting you a wink as she bid farewell to Harry with a two-fingered salute, “Pleasure working with you, Lieutenant Crosby.”
“Same to you, Nurse Carter,” Harry replied, and he turned back to the two of you, a genuine smile on his face.
“About time, Bucky.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Bucky waved off his friend’s I told you so, “You gonna congratulate me or what?”
“Congratulations,” came Harry’s mock-put-out reply, accompanied by a genuinely congratulatory clap on his arm. “You got a good one. And it only took months of unsuccessful flirting—”
“Hey, I got her in the end, didn’t I?” He squeezed you closer, grinning down at you.
Your lipstick was all over his mouth, and you’re sure the Victory Red on your own lips was in no better shape.
You couldn’t bring yourself to care, however, as he pulled you in for a tender kiss.
Which you broke for a moment to point out, “He isn’t wrong, you know, it was months of unsuccessful—”
Your teasing was promptly cut off with a “shush” mumbled against your lips as Bucky silenced you with a kiss.
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cryptidghostgirl · 3 months
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Heya! I just found you and I knew that I immediately had to put in a request!! May I ask for Alastor x chubby reader?? With hurt and comfort?? Where a random demon makes her feel bad for being chubby and Alastor comforts her AND CONFESSES that he's in love with her 🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️ and then in true Alastor fashion he rips the demon apart for making reader feel bad PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
A/N of course!! this is good vibes. yes. 11/10 for the adorable scale. I've been writing so much angst,, the fluff request is so welcome. ALSO THIS GIF I FOUND FOR THE IMAGE OF THIS STORY IS SO CUTE WTF.
Sweet (Alastor x Chubby!Reader)
Pairing: Alastor x Reader
Warnings: Hurt//comfort, tw for body image stuff/issues, gore but make it cute, uh... fluff. Sickeningly sweet fluff. Extra TW body image stuff. May or may not have channeled some of my ten years experience with eds into this one besties, sorry about that.
Word Count: 3,330
Master Lists:
Master Lists 
Hazbin Hotel Master List
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The truth of it was: Y/n knew exactly how pretty she was. That didn't keep it from hurting when people made unprovoked, snide remarks about her weight. More than one thing can be true at the same time.
She was kind of used to it by now. People in the human world had been rude on occasion, she'd had doctors occasionally act discriminatorily towards her because of her weight, a shitty date or partner or two who told her to lose it, but it had been nothing in comparison to Hell. It was Hell after all, home to the worst of the worst. Y/n tried to toughen up, thicken her skin. After a life on earth and another fifteen years down below she couldn't help but feel like it shouldn't hurt anymore. It still always did.
This one had been particularly bad. Y/n had stepped out of the hotel, intent on meeting a friend for lunch. She'd gotten all dressed up for it too, in her favorite outfit with her makeup done all pretty. She hadn't just felt good stepping out, she'd known she was hot. There had been a spring in her step and a coy smile on her face as she lowered her heart shaped sunglasses from the top of her head.
Five minutes, four blocks. That's all it took.
"Jesus, who let you outside in that?" the man had laughed, "Cover that shit up, I'm gonna vomit."
Y/n had sent her friend a text, saying she wasn't feeling well. She had apologized and asked to reschedule. Y/n had gone home.
Angel Dust had tried to approach her as she had stormed into the lobby but, she had brushed him off, rushing to her room. Y/n hand't meant to be rude. She had every intention of finding him later to apologize, the tears had just been pressing hotly behind her eyes and she needed to be alone. She loved Angel, trusted him, through of him as a brother but god, she did not want to cry in front of him. Not right now anyways, not over something so... so... stupid.
Y/n slammed the door to her room harshly behind her as she entered it, throwing herself onto the bed and burying her face in the pillow. In the comfort of pinks and piles of stuffed animals, she sobbed.
It wasn't even the comment that was getting to her anymore, although it had been a particularly awful one. No, what was upsetting her now was how she'd let it get to her. She felt stupid and weak and more than anything in the world she just wanted to rip the clothes off her body along with her skin and disappear from the physical world.
Her shoulders shook harshly, the pillow now damp. She was sure her makeup was a mess but didn't care. It wasn't like anyone was going to see her anyways, not until tomorrow at least. Y/n was trying to get redeemed but she wasn't trying to get made fun of. If she could keep this to herself, she was going to.
It wasn't that she didn't trust the others in the hotel. Y/n actually trusted them more than about anyone she'd met in Hell up to this point. They were kind and caring, invested in themselves and one another even if they pretended they weren't. There was just the fear. There was always the fear, the internal need for perfection, to show no weakness.
Almost as if the universe was fucking with her, as if it could tell exactly what she didn't want, there was a knock at the door. Y/n groaned audibly into the pillow. Of course, just when she wanted to be left alone. The knock came again and she slowly sat up, still sniffling and hurriedly wiping her eyes.
"Uh, yeah." she called, trying her best to keep her voice from trembling and praying she didn't look too much of a mess even if it was probably just Charlie or Angel, "It's open. Sorry."
Y/n's eyes widened slightly in shock as Alastor opened the door. Out of everyone in the hotel, he was probably the person she knew the least. She made the effort of course. Despite knowing his status and his history, she tried to play nice and make friends. It was he who avoided her, not the other way around.
To be perfectly honest, Alastor made Y/n a bit nervous. It wasn't because of his reputation. They were in Hell for heaven's sake, everyone had one of those. No, it was the way her heart beat a little faster when he was in the room. It was the way that every time she looked at him, she secretly hoped she'd catch him looking at her too.
Alastor had never been in Y/n's room before. It was all satin and pink and lace. He couldn't help but think it suited her to a t. It was all perfect, she was perfect. Except here she was crying, just as Angel had said she might be.
What had happened was this: Alastor had over heard Angel saying something to Husk. They were at the bar, Angel was drinking as always, and saying he was worried about Y/n. Alastor had pressed and when Alastor pressed, he always got his way. Apparently Y/n had come back to the hotel mere minutes after having left to go get lunch with a friend. Angel said she had seemed really agitated, genuinely upset.
That had made Alastor angry. Not normal angry more delicate than that, more minute. It made him upset, he hurt for Y/n in her theoretical pain. He wasn't used to this whole feeling things thing. His body on autopilot, Alastor himself had been surprised when he found himself before her door, poised to knock.
Y/n watched him, her eyes glassy and her cheeks flushed. There were dark circles of mascara beneath her eyes that matched the stains on her pillow behind her and her pretty dress had a few wrinkles in it.
"Whatever is the matter, my dear?" Alastor asked, stepping fully in to the room.
"Oh, nothing." Y/n tried to brush him off, looking away towards the window as she pulled a stuffed animal into her lap.
It was her trembling lip that gave her away. Alastor let the door fall shut behind him. Y/n turned as she felt the bed dip beside her, her mouth slightly open.
"I would advise you not to lie to me."
He hadn't meant for it to sound like that. He saw the way Y/n stiffened instinctually at his words, at his tone. Alastor didn't know how to exist in a non threatening way, its how he'd lived his whole life in this world and the one before it. It was how he protected himself. He took a breath.
"What I mean," he slowly corrected himself, "is that you don't need to lie. I..."
He cleared his throat, uncomfortable with the way he was forcing himself to be honest. Honesty was, however, the only option. He saw the way Y/n's gaze was distant, her body tense. For the first time in his life, he wanted to help someone else. It was strange. Alastor submitted himself to the oddity of it all, the discomfort. It was his gift to her.
"I'm here to help."
"I..." Y/n trailed off, big wet tears pooling in her eyes, "It's nothing. I'm okay, really. It's stupid."
With a gentleness that surprised both of them, Alastor lifted a hand to her face, wiping a stray tear. He held it on the tip of his finger before his eyes, examining the way a jeweler would a diamond.
"If it's upsetting you this deeply, it's not stupid."
That was the last straw. Y/n, unable to hold herself back any longer, collapsed into his chest. Her body shook with sobs. Alastor held his arms out, unsure of what to do with them. It took him a second to comply with her unspoken request, wrapping them around her. He found himself rubbing small circles on her back, trying to soothe her.
There was a reason Alastor avoided Y/n and it was that the demoness made him feel things. Things he was unaccustomed to feeling, things that felt dangerous in their warmth and care. Bubbly little things that got caught in his chest and tied up his tongue. If he had thought about his actions, he wouldn't have come to her side but he hadn't and so, here he was. This was all unknown territory, he felt blind and alone in the dark. Alastor didn't like that.
They stayed like that for several minutes until Y/n was finally able to regain some control of her breathing. She calmed herself methodically, as if it was a ritual she was well practiced in. Alastor found himself wondering how many times she had felt like this, reacted to something in her life like this, and had no one there to hold her. He didn't like that thought. He couldn't decide what was worse, if no one ever had been there or if there was someone else who she wanted in times like this, someone other than him. Someone better, more well versed in the delicate intricacies of emotion.
She lifted herself from his chest, his arms falling from her back to his sides as she wiped the last few stray tears.
"I'm sorry." she half laughed, "I don't know what came over me... and I've ruined your suit."
Alastor looked down. There were indeed black stains from her running makeup on his jacket. Normally such a thing would irritate him to no end, anger him even. It was Y/n who had made them however and so, he didn't care. He turned back to her, shaking his head slightly.
"Nothing a wash can't fix. Now, why don't you tell me what happened?"
"It's stupid." Y/n shook her head, her eyes finding her hands in her lap.
She still held the stuffed animal there, a rabbit. She fiddled with it's ears absent mindedely, twisting them and rubbing them in a practiced manner.
"Y/n." Alastor gently warned and she sighed.
"It's just... something someone said to me. That's all."
Alastor's brow furrowed slightly at the notion.
"What did they say? Who was it?"
The words had fallen from him quicker than he had meant them to, more earnestly. He was grateful Y/n seemed to stuck in her own world to notice such a thing.
"Just some asshole making a comment about my weight. Saying that I shouldn't wear what I wear, saying the sight of me made them nauseous. The normal dickwad stuff. I should be used to it by now, I've been chubby all my life but... I don't know. It still just makes me want to disappear. To rip myself apart by the fistful, you know?"
Y/n looked up at Alastor when he didn't respond, her cheeks red with embaressment.
"I told you, it's du-"
"Who the fuck said it?" he asked through gritted teeth, trying his best to remain calm.
"Alastor, it's fine." Y/n sighed, "I don't know why you're getting so worked up about it. Like I said, I've heard it all before."
She made to turn back to the plushie in her lap but before she could, Alastor cupped her face gently in his hands.
"Al... what are you..."
"Y/n, you are stunning."
There he went again, not thinking. Y/n was dangerous, to be avoided. She paraded around in her sweet sundresses and angelic disposition, practically unfit to have been sent to Hell in the first place. She was the simple syrup in lemonade, she was the best mixed drink.
Her tongue ran gently over her lips, an innocent and thoughtless gesture on her part that sent his mind reeling as she mulled over his words. Her brow furrowed.
"Alastor, I-"
"You are the most beautiful person I have ever laid eyes on, living or dead."
There he went again, his tongue a million miles ahead of his brain. Y/n let out a light laugh, her head still in his hands.
"What?" Alastor asked, feeling the heat rush to his cheeks, "I mean it."
"I thought you hated me." Y/n confessed.
"Far from it, my sweet."
His voice was barley more than a whisper. Y/n looked away.
"You drive me to distraction."
Her presence was like some strange truth serum rushing through his veins, now he had started, he couldn't seem to stop.
"I've never... You're unlike anyone I've ever met. You shine in this dark place."
"Alastor, this is a lot." Y/n admitted after a moment.
"My apologies." he let go of her face, his heart sinking, "I did not intend to make you feel worse."
He should have known. Alastor, in his foolish frenzy, had forgotten himself, his legacy, his persona. How could someone as sweet as a sun ripened strawberry stolen straight from the bush feel anything towards him save fear?
"I'll go."
Alastor made to get up, had every intent to actually leave and give Y/n her space. At the felling of her small hand on his arm, he paused and turned back to her.
Y/n's face was bright red, she refused to meet his gaze. Her arm not holding him was wrapped tightly around her stuffed animal like a charm.
"No, please." she took a deep breath, meeting his eyes once again at last, "I... I think... you're rather... handsome... as well."
Her speech was halting, uncertain in its anxiety. His smile widened.
"You do now, do you?" he asked, lifting her head a little higher with a finger beneath her chin.
"Oh hush." she scolded him, "If anyone was going to lie out of the pair of us, I'm pretty sure it'd be you. I am trying to be redeemed, in case you've forgotten, and you probably just want my soul or some shit."
"How can I prove to you that the only way I want your soul is given willingly and out of contract?"
Y/n laughed again, a genuine joy.
"Pinky promise me."
She held up a hand and Alastor quickly locked pinkies with her.
"I meant every word I said. I've had... eyes for you for a while now. You are the rosy fingered dawn. You are... you're you. You are Y/n."
"I am Y/n, aren't I." she smiled cockily back.
It was a relief to see her return to her normal confident self.
"I meant everything I said too. I've... I've had eyes for you too, or whatever."
She looked away, her cheeks even brighter pink than before. Alastor let go of her pinky and, leaning forward, pressed a soft and tentative kiss to the top of their head. Y/n immediately snapped her head back to him. Before he could register what was happening, she had tackled him in a hug, throwing them both to the bed.
Looking down at him from her perch on his lap, she smiled brightly.
"Can I kiss you?"
The question took him by surprise. He had never kissed anyone before save the tender kiss on the cheek reserved for dear friends and close family. He hesitated in indecision, in uncertainty.
"You're allowed to say no." Y/n followed up, noticing his apparent discomfort, "I don't want to move things too fast for you."
Alastor shook his head, the truth of his own desire unexpected even to him.
"No. You can."
Y/n's smile widened as they dipped down, pecking him on the lips. His cheeks warmed as she straightened herself up again, her hands pressed flat against his chest.
"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that for."
She smelled sweet, she looked sweet, god, she probably even tasted sweet. His tongue darted out of his mouth across his lips jus ever so slightly, the flavor of her strawberry lipgloss fueling his infatuation.
"Do that again."
It didn't take long for Alastor to track down the demon in question that had sent Y/n spiraling that afternoon. After their promise had been made and she had agreed to the date he had proposed for the next day, she had spilled everything. Her head in his lap as he had run his fingers through her hair, she had complained liberally about the demon. Her complaints had, thankfully, included a full description of the man.
Once the hour was late and he was sure she was fast asleep along with everyone else in the hotel, Alastor had slipped out onto the streets. The demon was, of course, easy to locate. He was loud and distinctive. Alastor found him drunk in a bar harassing a woman. He watched, waiting patiently until the man left and when he did, Alastor followed him.
He cornered the demon, sending his shadows to torment the man. He was on his knees close to tears by the time Alastor finally decided to join in on the fun. He leered down at the demon, grinning from ear to ear.
"I heard you said something rather cruel today." he hummed.
"I didn't!" the man pleaded, "I swear!"
"Not even to a pretty little demon in heart shaped sunglasses?"
The man's eyes widened slightly in obvious recollection.
"I... fuck, I didn't know. I swear, I didn't know who she was. I didn't know she was with you!"
Alastor stretched in the darkness of the ally, his horns growing thorny and tall as he entered his true demon form. The man trembled in fear. It was pathetic, truly.
"It doesn't matter. You ruined her plans for the day and so, in return, I am going to ruin you."
With those final words, he pounced. The tongue of the man was the first thing to go, ripped with great force from his throat and tossed to the side.
Next were his ears, Alastor tore them from his head slowly. The man screamed, a choked and guttural sound through the blood in his throat. Alastor laughed shamelessly, his claws finding a home in the demon's stomach next.
He disemboweled the man with ease, careful to keep everything connected so he was still alive. Then, he went for the eyes, gouging them out in harsh slashing movements. Alastor straightened himself, looking down upon his mess of a creation.
"I would say that next time you will think before saying something like that again but, I think we both know there wont be a next time."
A strange sound left the demons throat, obviously a plea of mercy. Without a tongue, he could not articulate his wishes.
"What?" Alastor asked, putting a hand to his ear as he slowly returned to his normal appearance, "I am sorry but could you say that again? I couldn't quite make it out."
Another strangled, desperate sound left the man's throat. Alastor laughed.
"Well, I've given you a chance to beg for your life and you have chosen not to take it." he taunted, leaning back over the man, "I supposed that means you have opted for death. Very well."
In a single, swift movement he tore the man's throat from his neck. The demon twitched under him for a few seconds longer before at last stilling in death. Alastor examined his work for a moment before pulling himself to his feet. Without a glance back towards the body, he straightened his jacket and let his shadows take him from the ally.
Y/n was under his protection now. He had tried so long to avoid the call, the weakness, her charms pulling him in. At long last, he had succumbed and under his watch, no one was going to ever make her feel anything less than perfect ever again.
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A/N This is the first time I have ever written something like this, I hope it was okay.
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