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#of not being wanted in an area that i DIDN'T expect to be wanted in
blarshwritezz · 3 days
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Hi can I request yan stalker x pervy male reader, where the reader purposefully sleeps naked, leave their window etc in the hopes thaf stalker yan would take pictures of them can the reader also have a habit of going into alleyways and spaces were there aren't alot of people in the hopes that stalker yan would grope or even just take them right there
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Reader: oh no, I hope no big strong INCREDIBLY HORNY psychopaths are in this alleyway where I'm all alone and defenseless...ahem, I SAID-
Yandere Stalker x Pervy Reader
M yan x M reader
TW - general yandere behavior, stalking, NSFW
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You've been dealing with a stalker for months now. He'd sneak into your room at night, take pictures of you, even steal your things sometimes. He'd send you "gifts" like wilted flowers, or pictures of you covered in what you were 90% sure was cum. He'd send sexy articles of clothing.
All this has been going on for months...and he hasn't even fucked you yet! Seriously, what more could you do?! You've been sleeping naked, leaving your windows open and all your doors unlocked, wearing the clothes he gave you, frequenting dangerous and isolated areas, everything! But not once have you woken up late at night to him even touching you!
Life was so unfair like that.
So tonight, you had a plan. You've gotten so much sleep lately, and had the day off, that tonight you wouldn't be very tired at all so you could wake up and finally confront him!
It took nearly an hour for him to finally get in, and you had to admit, he was discreet. You barely heard his soft steps on your floor. When he was finally close enough that you could feel his hot breath on your neck, your eyes shot open and you grabbed his arm.
He struggled, stopping once you asked why on earth he hasn't absolutely demolished your ass yet. Why he hasn't even groped you!
"Wait...what?" He was confused. You...wanted to have sex with him?
"Well why else would I sleep naked and leave my windows open?"
"I thought you were hot."
"Aww, thanks. Now if I'm so hot then fuck me. Come on, I'll be a good boy~" You teased. He was all flustered, it was pretty cute.
With the way you were laying, you were easily able to feel his bulge on your ass. It was definitely bigger than you expected. All the more exciting.
"I'll even-" You were cut off by his fingers being shoved down your throat.
"Don't speak. The only noise that I want to hear from you is moaning got it?"
You nodded, moaning around his fingers. He smirked before pulling them out and lubricating his cock with them.
As he did, you flipped over so your shoulders were on your bed and your ass in the air. He got behind you, smacking your ass before stretching your hole with his cock.
He wasted no time, pounding into you like an animal in heat. Exactly what you've been craving. You wanted him to fuck you until your mind went totally blank. You wanted your skin to be sticky with his cum. To be fucked absolutely raw.
"Good boy...taking this so well." He growled in your ear as your moans echoed off your walls.
He didn't let up for even a second, occasionally spanking you. Just until his red handprints were covering your ass. Maybe even a bruise or two.
His cock twitched inside you as he hit all the right spots to make you scream with pleasure. You could tell he was already getting close to climax, the first of the night. Thinking of it put you on the edge too.
He took a fistful of your hair tightly in his hand, holding your face down into your pillow, practically suffocating you. Finally, only after making sure to kindly jerk you off too, he unleashed his load deep inside you.
...only to start again after only 5 seconds.
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Hope this was okay! Writer's block acted up like halfway through lol
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mariclerc · 2 days
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More parts of An unexpected role! Lily meeting the grid and all drivers are wrapped around her finger, spoiling her and everything, plus lewis Hamilton being protective about y/ n and lily treating them as his honorary daughter and granddaughter, and lily having a little baby crush/ being fond of Oscar Piastri or Ollie bearman and not wanting to leave his side.Then the other leclerc brothers (Arthur and Lorenzo) and drivers are jealous because lily doesn't give them attention.
Thank you very much for this request!! It seemed very adorable and cute to me since I had imagined what Lily would be like attending to her first race... so here you go!!
An unexpected role (pt.5) | cl16
Summary: you revealed your little secret to your date, you didn't expect he would take it so well. Warning: none, just fluff + the drivers falling for Lily and spoiling her A LOT.
a/n: part five of “an unexpected role” I hope you like it!
follow the series!! Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
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ynusername
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liked by joris_trouche, itslolasss, pierregasly and others.
tagged charles_leclerc
ynusername guess where we are going this weekend 🫣🎀
see 1.738.653 comments
itslolasss nO EAY
ynusername hehe yup bestie 😋
itslolasss pls keep me updated this weekend babe, I need all the details
ynusername yup yup captain 🫡
user7 IT'S HAPPENING EVERYONE, THE LEC FAM ON THE PADDOCK THIS WEEKEND 😭😭😭😭
user4 OMG OMG OMG OMG EVERYBODY CALM DOWN, THIS IS HAPPENING
liked by creator
logansargeant finally we will meet the popular Lilyyy
arthur_leclerc finallyyy
georgerussell63 the official mascot <3
lilymhe I'm happy to meet you both 💗💗💗
ynusername omg omg im waiting 🩷🩷
carlossainz55 lord perceval biggest fans
ynusername that's for sure
charles_leclerc I'm excited to have you both this weekend, my loves 🤍🤍🤍
ynusername and we are happy to accompany you my love 🤍🤍🤍
Charles iMessage
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You never thought you were going to end up in an F1 paddock with your boyfriend and your little Lily... But there you were both, accompanying Charles at the Belgian Grand Prix, -the last stop before the much anticipated summer break, It was the first time that you and Lily were going to witness the F1 action live, of course, you watch it on television in the comfort of your bed and support Charles at all times, but there is nothing compared to seeing it up close.
You and Lily walk through the paddock while Charles has his hand on your lower back, the three of you have a very noticeable smile on their faces and no wonder, he is over the moon that you and Lily are accompanying him this weekend, it's like having extra motivation to do well in front of the two of you.
“Are you excited Lilytunes?” Charles softly asks Lily, who is wearing a Ferrari shirt that says on the back: "Daddy's #1 fan", she nods at his words. She smiles with her eyes wide open, observing everything around her and he gives her a kiss on the cheek, you also do the same, it is much more impressive to see it in person than on television, the amount of people working to keep this show going is incredible. “And what about you love? Are you excited too?” He turns his head towards you to give you a small peck on the lips, you nod smiling.
“Pretty excited honey... I still can't believe that Lily and I are here!” You say with a dreamy face and he smiles showing his dimples. You don't care that there are 20 cameras around you trying to get a good angle of the wholesome family moment, you only care about him and Lily. “This is so amazing here!” You say excitedly as he lets out a small giggle.
The three of you walk towards the general hospitality, basically the joint place where the drivers and their families can relax and have a good time, to keep the harmonious atmosphere outside the track. You and Charles sit next to Lily on one of the comfortable sofas of the lounge area, just at that moment, most of the drivers get into a hurry... Maybe they are excited to meet the ferrari's golden boy little daughter.
You grab Lily in your arms and you bounce her softly. “Look Lily! I think you have a fan club now, isn't that cool?” You say as you stroke her hair and she smiles. “And of course, we're going to see dada race here!” You say, nuzzling your nose against hers.
Lily claps her hands excitedly. “Dada fast win! Vroom!” she giggled.
Many of the drivers come to see this weekend's star, and it is no wonder since Lily radiates charisma and tenderness in her wake. One of the first to speak was Hamilton.
“Hey there Charles, how's everything going?” He says greeting Charles with a pat on the back and then turns his attention to the two of you, giving you a kind smile. “And who's this little cutie? Is it perhaps the popular Lily and y/n?”
You blink for a moment. “Popular? How is that possibl...” You were going to continue talking but Lewis subtly interrupted you.
He nodded. “That's right! Charles won't stop talking about you two, he gets very excited when he talks about you, I swear his eyes had a special shine.” He finishes and you turn your gaze to see Charles, who is scratching the back of his neck embarrassingly and has red cheeks that match his Ferrari shirt.
Lily watches Lewis curiously. “Hi!” she says shyly as she hides in your chest.
Lewis smiles at Lily. “Hello Lily, it's so nice to meet you! Your daddy tells me you're his biggest fan!”
She smiles at the mention of Charles. “Dada fast!”
Lewis giggle and pulls out a little Mercedes cap for Lily. ”That's right! And you know what fast cars and daddy's need? Fast fans! Here you go.”
Lily's eyes light up, and she takes the cap with a giggle.
“Thank you Lewis, that's so sweet!” you smile shyly at the British.
“Don't worry y/n! I'll always look after my honorary daughter and granddaughter here.” he said with a smile.
Charles rolls his eyes playfully with a smile. “Thanks Lewis, you're spoiling Lily already.” he smiles softly.
The rest of the Thursday afternoon is a whirlwind of introductions, after the respective press duties, other drivers stop by, charmed by Lily's infectious smile, she gets a mini Red Bull helmet from Max Verstappen, a Ferrari cap signed by Carlos Sainz, a Williams blue hoodie from Logan Sargeant and a tiny McLaren t-shirt from Lando Norris. Lily becomes the star of the General Hospitality area, the drivers take turns stopping by to say hello, giving her gifts like miniature helmets and team t-shirts. Arthur and Lorenzo try to get in on the action, but Lily mostly ignores them, captivated by the older Ollie Bearman.
You giggle. “I think your plan to make it only have Ferrari merch is going very wrong amour.” You say while looking at Charles, who is watching Lily coexist with the other drivers.
He smiles. “Well, I can't blame them... Our little girl is a sweetheart, don't you think?”
You nod happily. “Of course she is, darling.”
***
Friday arrives and that's when the action really begins, all the drivers and teams prepare for the first practice sessions of the weekend, Lily is very happy and so are you, you two find yourself in the Ferrari garage using the headphones to listen to Charles's radio.
“My dear, look, it's dada! He's driving really fast, don't you think?” You whisper to Lily and she smiles and giggles as she sees Charles on the screens.
“Dada fast mama!” She says and you nod smiling. At one point she sees that on the other side of the garage is Ollie Bearman, Ferrari's reserve driver, she almost screams when she sees him and starts to smile a lot. “Ollie! Ollie!” She says between babbling, trying to get the attention of the young British man and he smiles when he hears her and approaches you both.
“But it's the little Leclerc! How are you cutie?” He says, greeting Lily sweetly, she gives him a thumbs up and he laughs. “Hi y/n, it's nice to finally meet you.” He said, extending his hand and you accepted it smiling.
You smile shyly. “The pleasure is mine” Lily starts to move in your arms and makes grabby hands towards Ollie, you let out a chuckle. “Looks like you have a little fan here, Mr. Bear.” You say and he smiles, Lily throws herself into his arms and starts pointing around.
“Are you sure it doesn't bother you?” He asks timidly and you deny.
“Slides! Slides!” Lily says pointing towards the exit. “Ollie, slides!” she says taking the collar of Ollie's shirt in her small hands.
“It's okay Lily, we'll go to the slide.” Ollie says with a shy smile as he takes off his and Lily's headphones. “I will bring her to you safe and sound.” He says and you smile and give Lily a kiss on the forehead.
You watch as Lily leaves in the British man's arms, what you didn't notice was the presence of Arthur and Lorenzo, probably looking at you in a state of shock.
“How does Lily prefer to be with bearman than with me?” he scoffs.
You smile innocently. “Let's say Lily has a little crush on Ollie.”
Lorenzo moves his head, denying several times. “Nah, nah, nah, she is too young to fall in love.”
You were so focused talking to the Leclerc brothers when you three didn't notice that practice had already ended and that now you had the presence of Charles, who made himself known by giving you a kiss on your cheek.
“What's happening gorgeous?” he asks you softly.
Arthur pulls his hair, frustrated. “Lily went with Ollie to the slides!” He says totally stressed while you and Charles just giggle. “She doesn't want to be with us anymore.”
“Oh god, Are you two seriously stressed about that?” He asked and Arthur and Lorenzo nodded, he laughs.
“I think Lily has a little crush on Ollie.” You whisper to Charles.
He grins. “I wouldn't be surprised, he's good with kids.”
After that meeting you accompany Charles to Ferrari's Hospitality, and after he changes his clothes, they go out in search of Lily. You manage to find her in a playground area for the little ones, she is smiling as she slides down the slide and Ollie watches her carefully.
Lily manages to spot you two and runs off the slide and then ends up in Charles's arms. “Dada!” she says happily.
Charles opens his arms to welcome Lily. “Hello there petit papillon! Did you see dada on the track?” He says while tickling her tummy. (little butterfly)
She nods and giggles. “Dada supa fast!” she says content.
“Oh but of course I was honey, pretty fast, don't you think?” he asks her and she nods.
“So fast!” she giggles again.
At this point almost everyone in the paddock adores and loves Lily, so much so that they spoil her with gifts and sweets, and she clearly loves that. You feel happy because you feel that it is where you two should always have been from the beginning, and the fact that Charles has talked non-stop about you two from the very beginning makes it so special, since you can see the love you radiate as a family.
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ynusername posted a story
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itslolasss have fun today pretty girls, good luck to charlie from me 🩷🩷
ynusername Believe me, Lily has the most fun, everyone spoils her so much... I think I had to bring an extra suitcase for all the souvenirs.
itslolasss hahahah, she deserves it, you both deserve it actually!!
The weekend unfolds in a whirlwind of activity, Lily becomes a permanent fixture at Ollie Bearman's side, much to the amusement (and slight jealousy) of the other drivers. Arthur and Lorenzo try in vain to win her attention, showering her with toys and sweets. But Lily's heart belongs to Ollie and the shiny Ferrari little car he gave her.
Now it is Sunday, the most anticipated day, you and Lily meet again in the Ferrari garage, you both watch Charles prepare to leave for the starting grid, but not before approaching you.
You smile softly at him. “Hey bébé, are you okay?” you asked him softly. (baby)
He shrugs. “I think so... I want to do well for both of you.” He says and you give him a kiss on the tip of his nose. “To be honest with you, I'm a little bit nervous.” he whispers.
You just smile at him again, you more than anyone know how anxious he sometimes gets before the races. “You will do great my darling, but one thing is for sure... Lily and I will always be proud of you no matter what happens.” You whisper to him and give him a small but necessary hug. “Now go out there and attack them all, okay?”
Lily smiles at him and hug him too. “Papa win?” she asked him.
He smiles. “We will see it my love, we'll see.”
The atmosphere is electric as the grid forms up. Lily sits on your lap, bouncing with anticipation while you both look at the screens where they show the formation of the starting grid. You feel nervous inside, something that always happens to you when you watch the races at home with Lily, but this time it is much worse, you feel anxious and expectant of what could happen and what Charles can do on track.
The race starts, and Charles battles his way through the field, since he started from P5, Lily cheers him on with every overtake and you do the same, you two are probably the most enthusiastic fans in the Ferrari garage, Andrea, Charles's personal trainer, smiles when he sees you two so happy and bubbly with every action Charles does on the track, he knows how important it is to Charles that you two be there for him.
You smile at Lily as you watch Charles move into P2 mid-race. “Oh god, look at papa go lily, he's really going for that win.” you whisper at her.
Now it's the last lap and Charles is neck and neck with Max for the race win, Lily is on the edge of her seat.
“Come on, Charles... You can do this.” you say while holding your breath.
Charles makes a daring move and takes the lead. Lily erupts in cheers. “Dada win! Dada win!”
Charles crosses the finish line first and the crowd goes wild. Lily jumps up and down, clapping her hands. You have a smile from ear to ear and no wonder, the first race you attend as a family and he decides to win for you.
The mechanics congratulate you two and seeing that everyone is going to the podium, Lily also wants to go, you are a little hesitant to really go there until Andrea takes you and Lily to the podium.
When they arrive at the parc fermé area, they see everyone in a state of ecstasy and happiness. Charles gets out of the car raising his arms in celebration and goes out to hug his team. You smile when you see him so happy and proud of himself... When he takes off his helmet and balaclava, he looks at you two and smiles from ear to ear, he runs towards you to give you both a huge hug and he kiss you on the lips, not caring who is looking at that wholesome moment, you feel him smiling in the kiss and you smile too.
***
After the podium, you and Lily wait for the champion in his driver's room. Both of you can't stop feeling excited and happy about what you've just experienced. After a couple of minutes, Charles enters holding his winner trophy, you and Lily rush to congratulate him.
“Papa win!” she smiles as he hugs her back.
He hugs Lily tightly. “That's right, sweetheart! Papa won for his two biggest fans!” He winks at you.
You smile and kiss his cheek. “We're so proud of you baby! You did a great job out there!”
“A job that would be impossible without my greatest supporters.” He smiles again, like a little boy.
“I know sweetheart.” You say and notice how Lily starts to yawn against his shoulder. ”Looks like all the excitement is catching up with our little champion... Time to head back, I think.” You let out a giggle.
He giggles too. “Right, just let me take a shower, change and we'll go, it's that okay?” he asks and you smiled and nod.
“As you say captain Lec!” you say and he laughs, you take Lily back into your arms and she lays her head on your shoulder.
***
The door clicks shut behind you as you enter your hotel room. Charles carefully lays a sleeping Lily on the bed.
You carefully undress Lily to put her in a onesie pajama. “She must be exhausted. What a whirlwind of a weekend!”
“She's out like a light. All that cheering must have tired her out.” he giggles softly.
You finish putting her pajamas on and you pull the covers gently over her small frame. “But of course, she was very happy to see you in your element, love.” you smile again.
“The best kind of whirlwind, you know? Seeing her so happy... it makes everything worth it.” He walks over to you and wraps his arms around you.
You lean your head on his chest. “Seeing you win was so so special too. You were pretty amazing out there.”
He kisses your hair. “I couldn't do it without you two there.”
A comfortable silence settles between you for a moment. You listen to the soft sounds of Lily's breathing.
“I still can't believe how much attention she got from all the drivers. Lewis practically adopted us!” you say.
He chuckles. “He does have a soft spot for kids. And let's face it, Lily's pretty irresistible.” He says.
“Especially to Ollie. That boy is a natural with her.”
He raise an eyebrow playfully. “Don't worry, are you jealous love?”
You punch him lightly on the arm. “Maybe just a little... Don't you want her to be a daddy's girl?”
He nuzzles his nose against yours. “Of course I do babe. But seeing her happy makes me happy, no matter who she's playing with.”
You look out the window at the city lights twinkling below. A comfortable silence settles again.
“This has been the perfect weekend. Maybe we can bring her to another race, you know, after the summer break, what do you think?” you ask him softly.
He kisses your forehead. “I'd love that chérie. We can make it a family tradition.” he sighs contently and then he whispers. “Thank you for everything. This weekend wouldn't have been the same without you two.”
You place a kiss on his jaw. “It was nothing, thanks to you for letting us fully enter your world, love.” you whisper and he smiles.
He pulls you closer, and you lean into his embrace. The sound of Lily's gentle breaths fills the room, a peaceful melody after a whole weekend of a high-octane excitement... The hotel room, bathed in the warm glow of the bedside lamp, feels like a haven, a family haven. You close your eyes, picturing future races with you and Lily cheering her Papa on, a happy sigh escaping your lips.
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charles_leclerc
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liked by antoinetruchet, oscarpiastri, susie_wolff and others.
tagged ynusername
charles_leclerc first P1 of the year!! 🏆 I can't stop thanking the team for the hard work that has been done in the last few months, it has been quite hard but it was all worth it 💪🏻 I also want to thank my biggest fans ynusername and little miss Lily, who accompanied me on their first gp weekend!! 💗💗 Thank you very much my loves, thank you for always supporting me and being there for me at all times 🤍 Thank you for making this weekend even more special for me, love you lots!! 💗💗 Now is the time to recharge and come back better than ever 💪🏻💪🏻 see you in zandvoort!! 🇳🇱
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user4 oh my, the kiss and hug on the podium was incredible to see, congratulations champ!!! 💪🏻🏆
georgerussell63 it was nice to finally meet Lily this weekend, the official f1 mascot 🫶🏻🫶🏻
landonorris she owned the paddock the weekend, she left me without candies :(
charles_leclerc stop‼️talking‼️about‼️my‼️ daughter‼️ please‼️
lorenzotl let's go little brooo!!
user1 the official f1 family 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
alex_albon little Lily was the star of this weekend <3
ynusername oh babeee 🥺🥺😭 don't thank us, we are more than happy to accompany you and support you every weekend if necessary! We love you so much champ!! 🤍🤍🤍🤍
charles_leclerc honey, I love you both so so much, thank you for coming with me, I really can't find how to thank you 🥹🥹💗
ynusername you don't have to do it, it's not necessary my love 💗💗 now let's focus on taking that well-deserved break, because I think we deserve it ☺️☺️
charles_leclerc I'm looking towards it amour 🥰🥰
user6 oh my heart... the last picture, Lily looks so adorable and cute with her Olaf backpack 🥺😭
logansargeant the most wholesome family on the grid 🤍 congrats dude!!
lewishamilton it was lovely to meet Lily and ynusername this weekend 🤍🤍 you have a beautiful family mate
charles_leclerc thank you lew 🤍
ynusername it was also lovely to meet you too Lewis <3 <3
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hot-astrology · 2 days
Text
Venus Retrograde
(The love i once had)
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Venus! one of the most lovely planets that loves. But everyone doesn't get to enjoy it the same way or have its fairytale play out the same way in their lives. Around 8 % of people have Venus retrograde in their natal chart. When a planet goes retrograde, in a persons chart its a life lesson and a new cycle of events that makes the person get new perspective of life and how this energy plays out. The person will learn how to go within and depend on their own values, and have more of a self introspective with what life has for them. Maybe last life time or times the person didn't use these energies wisely or could have not used them at all. It can make a person not satisfied with what they see or what a person presents to them. Maybe you could of been a person who always pushed out love, money, attention, to others but always seem to come up short and left high and dry with your feelings, emotions and desires left unfullfilled. We all want to be loved, cared for as well give it to others who deserve it. This is where it gets tricky and the struggle for those with this retrograde placement.
This life you are here to give yourself everything you want to push out to others. Its never selfish loving yourself first, and doing things that brings you joy or make you happy. As well you need to understand who deserves your LOVE, ENERGY, GIFTS, TIME and beautiful HEART. Its time to go within and understand why you love who you love or why you keep attracting the same encounters. Maybe its a karmic lesson that mirrors your insecurities, wants, needs, lust, desires, and old habits. Now this will play out differently in each and every ones chart, due to sign, house, aspect, degrees and life path. For the most part its a beautiful experience to go through, we at times look at things that deal with change, uncomfortability, and what the mass says, once you go through it and experience it yourself, it hits different.
When having a retrograde its like having opposing energies, you will play out the opposite sign and house but on the negative traits of that sign and house. Once you understand this you can shift the energies to your favor and use them to evolve into the new you. Thats why you can learn so much from the opposite of yourself, kind of like the ying yang, sun and moon etc.
Also degrees can play a major role in this situation. It can point to what area of life or what energy you need to change or adapt into to help you focus on transforming this outdated image.
Now we will give you some examples or placements with Venus retrograde and you will see how plays out in your chart and give you a better insight on your lifes experience.
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Cancer/ Venus retrograde
Here can bring an individual who can love so hard that it smothers their partner. Fear of rejection, being not good enough could make this person emotionally broken and insecure. So they tend to overcompensate with over loving a person and not loving their selves. These individuals can be extra sensitive with any situation dealing with love matters, care and the heart. Need to love yourself as you would your partner, only then you will develop growth and bring others into your warm heart and get it back 10 fold. Be your own mother and nuture your broken and confused heart.
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Scorpio/Venus retrograde
Well Venus in scorpio would be in detriment, so this makes this placement a little more challenging. For a retrograde ( our opinion ) the person will be extra picky, secluded, and like things how they like it. Kind of like a Virgo thats why Scorpio and virgo kind of have simular traits, but thats a different topic. So this will make them want to know everything about you. As well hesitate in pursuing a relationship, their relationships can be hidden and secretive. You need to fully open your hidden heart and experience deep transformative experiences. Learn your deep subconscious traits and the love, trust and loyalty you expect from others. Once you meet that partner you will be with them through thick and thin and also the toxic side.
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Aries/Venus retrograde
Usually venus in aries would be your warrior, quick to talk to that girl or dude but not with this retrograde. They will be more of a shy type and kind of not letting people know about certain rejections in their love life, could get extra defensive when it comes to anything in the losing realm. You can be very dependent on other, feel like you need others help to be assertive and to gain money. You need to be independent and rely on yourself and own abilities. You need to go within to find that part of you that wants more in life from money, love, confidence, personal achievements etc. Remember you are in aries energy its a fire sign, so go after what you want and desire.
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Hello! If you don't mind, this is half a vent and half an ask both to you and to your followers who have had some experience?
I feel like I want certain aspects of a romantic relationship, the idea of having someone "special" is very appealing. Especially since I find myself falling in the trap of romance tropes, and I really do feel that I want to find that one person who I'd feel safe being physically close with, and not just because I turn my brain off to suffer through it but to actually enjoy it.
I know that I'm rather attracted to men, in theory at least, but whenever there's even remotely a thought in my brain that a polite conversation may turn into something more I get nervous, kinda in a bad way. I feel like I want to put a barrier in and I'm afraid they'll be reading into my behaviour too much. It makes me feel as if I like to play pretend in my head but I'm too much of a coward when real life gets involved.
I've been identifying as ace for years now, and I just turned 24. No experience in the dating department, I've been slowly making my way to accepting being at least arospec as well, possibly just aro, but for some reason it's been so much harder for me. Asexuality just clicked. This I think I may be fighting because the idea of a relationship seems too nice to give up and I've already had a bad experience with an extremely undernegotiated QPR (ended quickly but left a bitter taste nevertheless).
I just wish I could not think about it? But I also feel like the societal expectations of romantic attraction are much more pressing than sexual one. I don't want to lead anyone on, and I don't want to feel this little bit of dread whenever I have a conversation with a guy who I know doesn't have a girlfriend. That's another sign of being aro, right? Being able to be comfortable only when the possibility of the other party wanting you romantically is non-existent.
Sorry for this being so long. Thank you for listening, either way.
Romance definitely has a hard to explain quality to it, and I think that can make it questioning if you're aro especially tricky. It is possible that anxiety you're feeling when a situation could turn romantic is a form of repulsion. It's not uncommon for romance repulsion to feel more like anxiety or nervousness, and for people feel like wanting to go and hide. Alloromantic people can be nervous too sometimes, but it usually comes with a feeling of anticipation and still being drawn to the other person. Or they will usually have either trouble with anxiety in other areas, or issues with romance (romance related trauma for example). Sometimes it can be tricky to know exactly what it is, but if the stuff below doesn't sound like you at all, than repulsion is a likely explanation.
The other thing I would point is that fully alloromantic people often have people in real life they are experience a romantic pull towards, who they really want to be in a romantic relationship with. And if you're not experiencing that, that could also be a strong sign of being aromantic.
Being aromantic, and even romance repulsed, if you are, does not mean you can't have a very important person in your life. I know you mentioned a QPR that didn't go well, and it's up to you if that's something you ever want to try again, but even if you don't. remember that deep bonds can come in all forms of relationships. All types of relationships, including friendships, familial relationships, etc. have the potential to be very special of very deep if you end up connecting to someone in the right way. So whatever path you choose to take, don't feel like this isn't possible.
I'll throw this out followers too if anyone wants to share their own thoughts or advice.
All the best, Anon! Good luck!
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wifflum · 2 days
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Video games that suck and why they suck
Dark Souls spawned a wonderful genre with an excellent, new (besides Demon's Souls), combat system that has been improved to have everything you could think of asking for, by games like Stellar Blade. Dark Souls, even though it was first, however, sucks. Here's why it sucks.
Dark Souls was made by a self-proclaimed masochist who said, about the game, "these are ways I would like to die," and then set the entire game design team to the objective of killing the player at every opportunity. It's like hostile architecture as a video game. The game is trying to kill you at almost every step, but it had this amazing new combat system, so that was tolerated. Now the blind sheep that are the masses worship it.
Elden Ring and Sekiro, on the other hand, did not have this incredibly sadistic touch to them, and are far more fun to actually play. And these trainwrecks who love Dark Souls would say it's a skill issue, to not enjoy crawling your way to the next death spot like it's progression in Final Fantasy XIV raids only through a fu**ing level, let alone the boss fights, and would blame the victim of literal and admitted game design sadism.
Red Dead Redemption, Spiderman, God of War, and also Grand Theft Auto (at least the campaign) and Uncharted-- all of these games also suck. This is because they are not made with gameplay in mind, because the target audience hardly gives a sh** about gameplay and just wants an interactive movie. They are, as a popular and often contrarian video game critic put it, "ghost train rides". They are theme park attractions that are purely there to entertain from a distance, and not really to be interacted with like you would expect from a video game. Gameplay is secondary, and it's often almost tertiary it's so far from being considered important. That is why these games suck.
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Another somewhat extensive area for video games to suck in, is the Fallout and Elder Scrolls type of games. These games, instead of making story so fu**ing primary that gameplay, the whole point of video games existing at all, is ignored, do the exact same thing with their open-worlds and RPG mechanics. Just imagine a turn-based game like Final Fantasy 7, only the gameplay that can actually kind of stand on its own is actually gameplay that sucks co** and could never stand on its own.
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I play video games for combat. To have fun and display skill. Everything else is set dressing for that one primary thing, and games that suck either intentionally obstruct fun combat, like Dark Souls does, or might as well not even include it it's so bad.
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Some other games that suck are fighting games, because in order to get your ration of 3 seconds of neutral game per match, which might be pretty good but in my experience isn't anything to write to my girlfriend in jail about, you have to spend 8 million hours mastering filler moves that waste both players time and just drop the health bars to what they might as well be at the start, which is 3 hits until death.
Tactical RPGs are not that bad, I don't think, but dear God are they stressful sometimes. It's also slow and can get tiresome unless you personally are slow and tired and prefer that pace over action games.
First Person Shooters need defense options other than fu**ing sprint or better offense (throwing a flashbang is an offense action, as is laying a mine) for every situation, which Remnant: From the Ashes really put in sharp relief.
MOBAs, like League of Legends, need to be done differently rather than copying a game that had a barely passing grade on its combat system (DOTA 1 on Warcraft 3) because it took it from an strategy game where you're supposed to be spending 3/4 of your time managing your base and resources and only fighting a small portion of the time. Battleborn actually showed what MOBAs are capable of to some degree, although it didn't have dodges or anything, but got overshadowed by Overwatch which everyone either immediately regretted or regrets now since Overwatch is agony to play.
One game that largely sucked but did not entirely suck, contrary to what everyone and their goldfish will tell you, was Anthem. At one point it had a triple jump, triple dodge, comboing melee character that could frontflip into sniping something in the head or spraying it with submachine gun fire. Yes, that was motherfu**ing Anthem that had that, in the Interceptor Javelin, though the people in the other Javelins did not look to be having much fun.
The last games that suck, which I think everyone largely knows they suck, are Ubisoft games. Now Far Cry isn't that bad, because it still has a reasonable focus on gameplay, but Assassin's Creed games have combat that is almost as ass as Rockstar games' gameplay.
Just, all you have to do, lol, is take some reasonable approximation of soulslike combat, with an actual functional deflect if you include one, unlike Rise of the Ronin, and do whatever your little gimmick is on top of that. People will fall over themselves saying how amazing it is. Just make ACCEPTABLE gameplay with whatever your horsesh** is that your audience of nitwits loves, and it will be something as if from an advanced society in the future.
Although, I personally think the window for that is closing and it wouldn't be jaw-dropping anymore, with soulslikes branching out so much. All we really need now is a soulslike MMO and that'll be the kitchen sink, and I think it's rapidly approaching. All I would ask of someone doing that is that you model the PvP after Guild Wars 1 Random Arenas, and you'd have to study that pretty extensively because there's a lot of nuance that made it so good, but it was namely an extreme difficulty to combat, like you'd get from a PvE game set to Insanity difficulty, somehow enveloping the PvP experience.
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Anyway, that's how video games of today almost all suck. And it's because they're not really video games; they're either like a simulation of something, traveling or getting stronger, or just straight-up a movie, with video gameyness slapped onto the side like a sticker, with about as much effort put into the application. The games that are good, as video games and not interactive media, which is what a lot of these things should be distinguished as, ask the user to display skill and they make that display enjoyable and varied. There's a million ways to screw up the execution of that design or to excel at it, but only a few games even set that objective of good combat as an actual goal.
But, if it makes makes money it's fine how it is, fu** foresight and artistic integrity, and we must all keep churning out pig slop to the pigs.
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nohoperadio · 2 days
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Here's a little breakdown of my personal relationship/non-relationship with various types of aesthetic self-modification (?, I feel like there might be a word or at least a more elegant phrase to denote this category). The point is not to offer my "take" on each thing but to express the different feelings/desires/inhibitions my psyche manifests around them. Some of these will approach awkwardly personal territory, fair warning! You may notice that basically none of them are especially positive; I'm going to leave off from analyzing that pattern for this post.
Tattoos -- I think tattoos as a concept are extremely cool, frequently they're cool in practice also and I like seeing other people's, but I don't think I've ever had even the smallest urge to get one for myself. I'm not totally sure why. The lack of an obvious thing to get is one factor, I feel like "band tattoo" would be the most likely thing for me to have but I don't like the idea of directly lifting a band logo or album art and I really don't like the idea of a lyric tattoo (I offer no justification for these prejudices), so I'd have to get clever with it if I'm doing that and I'm not very clever. More broadly, I predict that my enthusiasm for any artwork I put on my body would fade through overexposure in a matter of weeks if not days--other people describe "barely knowing it's there" after a short time--which on top of making the value of the project seem dubious, I feel like having a permanent image on my skin that I don't actively love would be something I'd feel bad about rather than neutral. Like "man, that thing's on my arm and I don't care about it at all, that sucks" rather than just not noticing it. Maybe I'm wrong about that.
(Tattoos are the one that got me thinking about this whole subject I think, it feels like they're reaching a ubiquity in the culture where it's almost like you're expected to have a reason not to have one rather than a reason to? Maybe that's just a people-I-know thing, anyway it got me thinking about why I don't want one.)
Piercings -- An interesting thing about me and piercings is that it's virtually impossible for me to notice when somebody has them unless I'm like, actively consciously scrutinizing their face (or whatever it is). When I was about ten months into my current job I asked my co-worker who I worked closely with almost every day "hey when did you get that septum ring" and she was like "well way before I met you". That is simply how it is with me and piercings and I make no apology.
If my inability to perceive piercings (perceirvings...) makes me indifferent to the idea of getting one, what makes me actively hostile is the total certainty that I would fiddle with it constantly if I did. I know these hands and their ways and there would simply be no dissuading them, it would be so bad you guys, oh my god. This is probably the hardest no on the list I think, although I haven't finished the post yet so idk maybe I'll think of a worse one.
Makeup -- There's undeniably a lot that's very beautiful in the universe of makeup and there's also the weird dark side, I have dabbled a little in this area and in my heart I feel more positively than not about it, but it's just never going to be a sustainable part of my life because (not unrelated to previous para) I am a perennial and unrepentant face-toucher. I will be itching and rubbing my face-skin and also inflicting other hard-to-characterize punishments upon it (is this "stimming"?) until the day I die and anything that wants to be on my face has just gotta deal. It would probably be better if this was not the case but I don't make the rules, sorry.
Haircuts -- When I was a child I haaaaaated getting my hair cut, like the physical sensation of it? Was so horrible and would usually make me cry and always ruin my day (is this "sensory overload"?), I didn't understand why I was being made to go through this ordeal and basically as soon as I reached an age when I realized my mom couldn't literally force me to do it if I just stubbornly refused hard enough--that age was 13 I think--I stopped. I haven't had a professional haircut since that time although I'm sure I could cope with the sensory aspect at this point, it's just not a habit I ever picked up again (I've had a couple of non-professional ones from my ex who just kind of wanted to try it, in a not particularly ambitious or dramatic fashion). Sometimes I feel like I should, but idk. My hair as it stands is not optimized for making me look hot but I don't think it looks especially horrible either, it's just kind of whatever I think.
Complicating factor here: I've had trichotillomania since I was 15/16, and it's hard to imagine it going away at this point but it's a lot more under control than it used to be, to the point where you can't really tell just from my appearance that something's up now. I say "under control", I have very little conscious control over it and usually no conscious awareness that I'm doing it, but over the years the compulsion seems to have unconsciously settled into a routine where it's just kind of... sculpting my hair into a more-or-less normal silhouette? Like I sort of have a fringe and stuff despite no haircuts. Oh I guess this doesn't make sense unless I clarify that I mostly break rather than pluck the hair nowadays, that's a big part of the gradual unconscious shift that's occurred.
A fun thing about trichotillomania is that it often makes people really uncomfortable when you talk about having it, which sucks for me because it makes me feel lonely, but I guess it sucks for the person feeling uncomfortable too in a smaller way. If you're one of the people who feel uncomfortable around this topic, sorry! Quite genuinely.
Gender transition in general -- I feel like I'm just, just on the boring side of cis-by-default. I think about transitioning shockingly often for someone who's never gonna do it, like it's not searing a hole in my heart or anything like it is for a lot of people but it occupies that "it would be cool to learn an instrument" kind of niche in my thoughts, if that makes sense? (Probably a bit stronger than that analogy makes it sound, it's on my mind frequently but not with a massive sense of urgency attached I guess is what I'm getting at.) I can see myself taking the plunge if the medical technology was like 10% better, or the social technology was like 20% better, or with some medium-sized changes in how my personality was configured, but this life being this life there's no way in heck the juice would be worth the squeeze. If I had one fifth of the executive function required to do all of that lying to doctors and learning how to clothes shop and having awkward conversations with people in my life and all the rest of it, well I can list like ten things I'd rather spend it on first. And I don't!
Glasses -- Love wearing glasses, 10/10 no notes. I knew since I was like 11 that my face should have a pair of glasses on it and I was very smug when the optician agreed (I did not cheat on the eye test in any way for what it's worth). The only times I'm not wearing glasses are sleeping and showering. I don't even carry a case because there's no point because I simply don't ever take them off. This is probably overkill, I think as a kid I was instructed to only put them on when I need to see something in the distance, ignoring that and just wearing them permanently has probably led to my vision weakening to the point where they're now pretty much mandatory in every situation, but I don't give a shit about that because just let me wear my goddamned glasses okay, fuck off. It's actually crazy how much I like wearing glasses, this is the only true thumbs up on the list.
I remembering trying to explain how I like my glasses to a then-close friend of mine many years ago when the subject of laser eye surgery came up in conversation, he said I should get the surgery and then just wear glasses with non-prescription lenses. When I tried to explain why that wouldn't be the same at all he was adamant that I was just being stubborn. That guy was a wonderful person in many ways and I loved him very deeply, but man what a dumbass thing to say.
Facial hair -- There are so many great beards and moustaches in this world, there are few more cheering sights than someone bearing some swish whiskers who's pleased about it, but personally I don't wish to be involved in that business at all.
I never learned how to ride a bike -- Obviously this one doesn't belong on the list, it doesn't fit with any of the other categories, and yet I feel compelled to include it here. And why should I resist that which compels me? This is my post. Yeah, I'm the oldest of four siblings, we were all given bikes at the appropriate kid-on-bike age, the others picked it up but not me. I liked it when I had stabilizers on my bike, then they took them off and I started falling off the bike, and after a very short amount of time I gave up. Like I didn't get mad injuries or anything, it just felt like I wasn't improving at it quickly enough and I didn't feel like keeping it up so I didn't. Early indication of my bad personality.
Fashion in general -- Clothes shopping has always been extremely aversive to me for whatever reason, it's gotten a little better in recent years, I have been able to exist inside clothes shops for long enough to purchase a small thing or two, but eh. Most of my tops are band t-shirts I bought at gigs, most of my bottoms are exactly identical pairs of jeans, there's just not much going on you know? But unlike with most of the items on this list I would really like to be doing this properly. I would like to wear cuter things with prettier colours and designs. This one's an actual goal. But so far I haven't really made progress. The aforementioned shopping sucks thing, plus a fear of being so aesthetically clueless that I just make myself look like a big idiot if I try anything risky, plus the fact that doing things that are not my established routine is tricky in general--these are barriers for me. I guess another barrier is that the things that would be most interesting to try out and therefore most potentially motivating fall into the wrong-gender-clothes category and therefore bring into play some of the barriers from that other category a few ones up. I did actually somehow get myself to dabble in that area some years ago to a modest but positive degree of satisfaction. It'll probably happen again. The patterns and causes that determine whether I can or cannot find motivation to engage in a thing--they are mysterious indeed.
Like horn implants or whatever other crazy miscellany -- I don't want anything in this category and don't have any non-trivial thoughts about it either. Including this section for completeness only.
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Well, there you have it, that's the post. Now you know a bit more about some of my little weirdsies. If you actually made it through the whole thing, a) how interesting and b) why not tell me a little weirdsy of yours in return, whether it pertains to the above list or not? Why not get all antiphonal on my post, that way I'd get to know a thing about you as well, it might be a whole fun kind of deal. You don't have to though, I didn't make this post to try to snare people into letting themselves be known, I just kind of made it to be a post mostly. I make all sorts of kinds of posts you know? And so I thought I'd try one that's like this.
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cradle-of-darkness · 6 months
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COOKIES OF DARKNESS NATION WE ARE OFFICIALLY BACK 💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
(long rambling in tags if u care)
#cookie run#licorice cookie#red velvet cookie#affogato cookie#I KNOW im late to this but i was at school ok 🙄 anyways i have a lot of thoughts#first off LICORICE UGH I MISSED HIM SO BAD IM SO HAPPY FOR HIM#his stats are so fascinating to me. i don't think anyone was expecting his strength to be that high#its pretty average but its still his best stat surprisingly#im shocked his strategy and puzzle solving are only 3. i think that's a strange decision to make them so low but I'm open to accepting it#maybe his avoidance/lack of ability to see the big picture contributes to the low scores?#his stats are so unexpected but I could get used to it. still i want an elaboration from devsis on these#i want them to show his strength in the show because i was expecting his strength to be like. 3 or 4#but anywho. i think its very funny how affo is 0 strength. i love how its canon licorice could easily kick his ass in a fist fight#i really do love affo and im SO happy to see him with the cod fucking finally all we got with him as a cod until now was ODYSSEY 😭#im so excited to see him work with the cod as an actual member. he's a very fun character for me#i cant wait for them to actually make him feel like one of the cookies of darkness its been over a year since he joined by now c'mon#im just so ecstatic that the cod are back. hopefully this is a good omen and will pave the way for more cod appearances soon#bcs u all know how i feel about the lack of cod for the better part of the past year. this better be their comeback i believe in them#😁😁😁😁😁😁 IM JUST SO HAPPY THIS IS THE BEST POSSIBLE OUTCOME IM SO HAPPY U HSVE NO IDEA I LITERALLY SCREAMED#btw ik crepe is there. but they're in a weird grey area of being a cod so i didn't post them BUT IM VERY HAPPY THEY'RE THERE TOO ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#♦️charlie's miscellaneous
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lovecolibri · 1 month
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"Me at my angriest is not me at my most honest."
WOOF. As someone with emotional regulation issues (thanks ADHD/RSD! 🙃) needing space away to parce emotions and be able to come back and have a productive conversation is SO important.
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lnkedmyheart · 11 months
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Wait, did people really not expect a POV switch???
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cyano-citta · 6 months
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wereyote thoughts >>>
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worstloki · 1 year
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random thorki headcanon time (if u want)
they were both envious of what they perceived the other having for so long that they struggle with grasping the perspective of the other. their immediate assumption is always to doubt the other brother recounting their feelings of an event properly, making communication the largest hurdle between them when trying to repair their relationship.
#they both understand each other as brothers on a fundamental level but assuming they know the other never goes well#they struggle with separating each other from themself in their head and the idea of having MISSED the changes frustrates them both#but on the envious thing it's like#Thor looked at Loki and saw that he had freedoms he never did and Frigga's ear/willingness to humour him#while Thor had standards enforced on him which he struggled to make personal and Odin's favour which was not a boon of comfort#Loki looked at Thor and saw him commanding freedoms he never had and their Father with the Kingdom's favour in trust#while Loki struggled to keep up with standards enforced on him and Frigga wasn't the sage counsel he could speak loosely to#i think Loki saw Thor performing peak Asgardian masculinity and wondered why he couldn't too and he lowkey gave up on competing#Loki didn't see Thor as competition he saw Thor as everything he *wasn't* so every time he failed a task he was envious#but it wasn't directly at Thor as much as it was on himself#he saw Thor being popular and sleeping around and just being Thor and that would never be something he could do#he recognized that because it wasn't what he personally desired to do and he wasn't happy with the idea of being entertainment for people#while Thor refused the idea that the path that was expected of him was not what he wanted - and if it wasn't it's what he *should* want#so he overcorrects and plays to be larger than life because that's his role and the duty he'll be given at the end of the day#Thor looked at Loki and thought it must be nice not to have that pressure of conforming#he looked at Loki being stronger in areas like study and magic and wished he could focus on things he liked too#he was jealous that Loki could look at a situation and make the decision to leave a fight when Thor couldn't do that#etc. etc.#this has been brodinsons but it would make any thor/loki secx much spicier for them both#to have a part of them that can't stop hating the other#because they vied for what the other had for so long
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ssaalexblake · 1 year
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There’s nobody i love more than the people giffing STP. I Need the early warning for what’s gonna happen in the episodes and you provide a vital service. I could not go in blind to these episodes, I need that buffer period first. 
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arklay · 2 years
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i didn't really talk about it cause i think most mutuals know. but the reason that fic causes me so much pain is because they've been together for over ten years at that point and have never had a fight where they need a break from each other... they've never even had a fight where they yell
#leah.txt#pair: ewskers#tw: body image#they've bickered a lot like that's just how it goes. especially when you have two big defiant and domineering personalities. but they would#always laugh it off or just leave the room to clear their head then come back and apologise over getting shitty with each other but they#always talk things out and have these big just discussions to clear up any misunderstandings or you know just to air it out. they don't#like to let things fester. but the problem with this is like diana didn't want to bother him because of how busy and obsessed he was with#the project and his work so she just kept it all to herself and ofc you combine that with her love languages not really happening (physical#touch and quality time) because he rarely came to bed so they weren't having their moments of just cuddling and talking for ages. and#quality time ofc wasn't happening then too but when they were together it was always about just work work work. there were no breaks#and like he didn't really confide in her much anymore with what happened with spencer. like he did at first and they worked through that#and diana thought like he was Okay. like he was dealing with it. but he really just shut it out. he didn't want to confront it. he didn't#let himself *feel* the pain (which is why post volcano momence its A Lot for him to deal with... but they actually work through it better#then) but yeah like there's a lot going on behind all that fic. and with diana too. okay. so her childhood is one i don't really talk about#much but really high expectations were put on her from really young and even though she excelled in all areas like it was never good enough#and plus a few other things like it led to her constantly seeking for praise and admiration and recognition and like she was actually a#people pleaser until she was in uni for her bachelor's and before she moved to america. like. there was a lot going on there. so like she#had a lot of feelings of inferiority growing up and like not feeling worthy ever sooooooo it hurts + the humiliation her ex-husband put her#through kinda warps al just being busy and preoccupied and not thinking about anyone else to singling her out and doing the same thing her#ex did to her. so yeah. plus her body changing with the virus over the last few months has made her very like just. lies on the floor. like#because he always found her so beautiful and loved her eyes and made her feel beautiful when she had a bit of insecurity so now she's like#oh no but i look different now... maybe he doesn't think that anymore. lies on the floor
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krawdad · 16 days
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Okay we've ruled out literally every other potential medical source of this rigidity can someone treat the injuries like I've asked since the very beginning years ago I can't walk anymore what am I supposed to do
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reiderwriter · 15 days
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Isn't She Pretty, Daddy?
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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Teacher f!Reader
Summary: You're a little bit worried about one of your brightest students recently, so you call her Dad to come in for a meeting. Her absolutely adorable - and single - Dad.
Warnings: the birds and the bees as explained by a kindergardener. Some angst about being a single parent.
A/N: Here's another entry for @imagining-in-the-margins Kid Fic Challenge! Dad Spencer has my heart, and I've been in a really fluff forward mood this weekend, evidently! I think I have one more Kid Fic left to go before the end of the challenge, but we'll see what the will of the fanfiction gods is...
Masterlist
If you were to be asked what the hardest part of being a teacher was, you would, without question or even a second to think, have an answer. Parents. The worst part of teaching is talking to parents. 
Little kids were easy to talk to. They asked questions if they didn't understand things clearly, and they didn't typically say things they didn't mean. Adults were the opposite, and it just so happened that all of your kids' parents were adults. 
Including your most recent problem  child. 
You were used to the kids in your class having some behavior issues - for one, they were kids, it was to be expected that their little bodies couldn't quite handle all of the emotions they were feeling at once. But you were doubly struck by your school area being close to Quantico, meaning half the kids in your care had families with law enforcement backgrounds. 
Absent parents plus growing bodies plus normal kid stress equalled attachment issues, and your problem child Harper Reid was one of your more worrying cases. 
You really hoped everything was okay in the Reid household, so you'd called the little girls parents. She was lovely - honest to god - one of the sweetest little kids you'd ever met. 
Every day she came to school with some older kids and their mom, carpooling on the way in, so you had yet to meet her parents, but you thought that anyone who could produce something that sweet and cute and brilliant couldn't possibly be a bad person. 
You didn't know what to expect, so when her little pigtails peaked around the corner and she came running in, you were momentarily filled with anxiety. 
“MOMMY!” The little girl yelled, launching herself into your arms as soon as she spotted you behind your desk. 
“Hi, Harper! Hi, you must be, Mr. Reid-”
“Doctor, actually, um, but that doesn't really matter. I'm so sorry about this, Harper doesn't usually tackle people.” 
The 3ft tall ball of energy had managed to crawl into your lap and wrap her arms around your neck, so you had to pick her up when you stood to greet her dad. 
“Will your wife be joining us for the meeting today?” You asked, already used to Harper's hugs and general closeness. 
“Oh, no. No, she's not coming. She, uh, doesn't exist. Single father.” 
“Oh my god, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to assume, it's just not on my files-” 
“It's okay, it's a …bit complicated.” 
You took your seat at the desk and gestured to the man to do the same. Finally, looking at him for the first time now that some of your anxiety had died down, you couldn't help but think that Doctor Reid was incredibly attractive. It wasn't one part of his face that stuck out to you as being particularly pretty, just the entire ensemble of it together that took your breath away. Either that of Harper was gripping you so tight she was restricting your ability to breathe, and considering a five year old is not a boa constrictor, this was all dad's fault. 
“So, you said on the phone Harper's been having some problems at school?” 
You snapped your attention back to the issue at hand, searching for the relevant files and pictures you wanted to show the man. Harper turned herself around in your lap and looped her arms around your arm, pulling it in close to use as a pillow. 
“Isn't Miss Y/N so pretty, Daddy?” You froze and flushed in an instant, suddenly so aware of the man's eyes on you. You weren't sure if you were thankful or even more embarrassed that Harper's dad seemed to be even more flushed than you. 
“Daddy? Isn't she pretty?” Harper insisted, and you realized that you both weren't going to get out of this without him answering. 
“Yes, angel. Miss Y/N is very pretty.” The little girl smiled in triumph and nuzzled into your arm even more, happily curled up into your lap like a cat. 
“Hey, Harper. We got a new puzzle delivered yesterday. It's got My Melody and Cinnamaroll on it. They're your favorites, right?” 
The little girl nodded in glee, eyes shining as she hung on your every word. 
“How about you go over to the play area and get it started, and then me and your daddy will come over and help you finish it?” 
In a flash, she'd hopped up out of your lap and wriggled away, shouting a quick “You promised, right?” behind her as she went. 
“I'm so sorry about that, I don't know what's gotten into her, she's usually very shy and-”
“Doctor Reid, it's fine. That's just why I called you in today. Teachers and parents are a team, right, we work together to make sure the kids grow up well, you don't need to apologize to me for that.” 
The man seemed to take a deep breath and nod, to regain his wits about him for a second. 
“Is she… this attached in her regular classes?” 
“Well honestly, she was a bit like that at the beginning of the semester, but she grew out of it after a while. In the last week or so, she fell back into it, and now she's calling me ‘Mommy,’ too. I was wondering if anything happened recently at home that could've led her in this direction, or…”
The man looked a little bashful, but there was a twinge of sadness in his expression that you recognised all too well. 
“Harper, uh, doesn't have a Mom. I adopted her, and it's a long story, but... She's been asking me to get her one recently, because she doesn't really understand all that well? I'm sorry, I didn't know she'd do something like this. I should've done a better job at home-” 
“Doctor Reid, raising a child is hard. It's so hard that humans usually do it in communities, or at least in couples. You're doing it alone, and Harper is already one of the smartest and most empathetic little girls I know. You're doing your job as Dad just fine.” 
The man smiled at you and looked down, quickly wiping away a tear as you gave him a moment of privacy. 
“So. If nothing at home set Harper off, we should probably go and ask her why she's calling me mommy, right?” 
You stood, and he stood with you, leaving his satchel next to his chair and unbuttoning his jacket. 
“Great. Sure, let's go see.”
Walking to the back of the room, you both smiled quietly, looking at the small girl. The 100 piece puzzle you'd guided her to was neatly arranged on the desk, pieces split into edges and centre pieces as she slowly looked at each one with a quietly focused face. Each time she found the piece she was looking for, her smile was bright as she connected it to the small part she was working on. 
“Mommy! Daddy! I can't find the melody's face, can you help me?” 
“Sure, Harper, we'll help you.” You moved to sit beside her at the tiny desks, giggling when the older Reid on Harper's other side struggled to fit himself in the toddler sized chairs. 
Harper assigned you roles, and you all started quietly doing your jobs, waiting for Harper to focus again so you could ask her questions without agitating her. 
“Harper, can you tell your Daddy why you call me Mommy?” 
“Sure! You're Mommy because I want you to marry with Daddy.” 
If you weren't already still flushed from her earlier comments, you certainly were lightheaded with embarrassment now. 
“Harper, that's not how it works-” 
“Yes, it is, Daddy! Henry said so. He said his mommy and daddy were sad one day, but then they were together again and they had a big party called a wedding and now they're happy, and that's why we have Michael.” You didn't quite follow from all the names and the story events, but it was evident that Reid did, so you waited quietly for his explanation. 
“My friend. Her son was at her wedding a few years back. They have another son who is a couple years older than Harper, they come to school together?” 
Your mouth made a small ‘o’ as you slowly filled in the blanks. 
“Harper, you want daddy to have a wedding so he isn't sad anymore?” 
The little girl gave a big nod and a smile, like she was so happy that she was finally being understood. 
“Miss Y/N should marry daddy because he thinks she's pretty. Henry said that was important for a wedding, your mommy has to look beautiful.” You made eye contact with Doctor Reid awkwardly as she spoke, both of you looking away for fear of seeing the embarrassment on each others faces. 
“And Miss Y/N wants a baby. So I will be Miss Y/N's baby, so everyone can be happy!” Harper's kid logic was a little hard to find fault with, but you still had to push back a little. 
“Harper, why do you think I want a baby?” 
“Angie asked you, and you said," the girl pouted, almost frustrated woth habing to answer all these silly questions.
"She asked you why you don't have a baby, and you said that you can only have a baby if you're married and that you wanted to have a baby when you were married. So marry my dad, and I'll be your baby!” 
Harper's smile was so happy and content that you really didn't want to spoil her dream just yet. You continued putting the puzzle together for a few minutes in silence, the full picture nearly being complete now. Harper seemed to fidget a little in her seat next to you, pushing closer and closer to you before tugging on your sleeve. 
You leaned down and she whispered in your ear - though you didn't doubt that her dad heard every word. 
“If you really want, I'm sure we can get another baby like Henry got Michael. I'll ask my dad, but I think it's allowed.” 
The poor man on the other side of the desk had to cover his face with his hands to stop the blush from showing, devolving to just straight up resting his head on the desk when his daughter kept going. 
“A boy is okay, but my dad doesn't really know about boy stuff. Uncle Derek says that my daddy is just a pretty boy with a book brain. We should get another girl, so daddy can be not worry.” 
The more you listened to Harper's adorable family plan, the more you just wanted to squeeze her tight and say yes and give her everything she wanted. 
“Miss Y/N, once again, I'm so sorry for everything, I'll talk with Harper at home about this.” 
“It's okay, I actually find it all very sweet,” you laughed a little and smiled back at him. 
“No, I'm sure your boyfriend would be so uncomfortable if he knew that she was trying to marry you off-” 
“Doctor Reid, are you trying to ask me if I'm single?” 
The small grin that quirked his lips up was nothing if not unfair. He really was a very pretty boy. 
“It was that obvious?” 
“Yep.” You made sure the ‘p’ popped a lot as you both shared a small laugh. Harper looked up between you and smiled, too. 
“So, can you get married now? Henry said you can do it really quickly, like in Grandpa Rossi's garden, and then you can go and do the secret part at home while Auntie Penny looks after me.” 
“Secret part?” 
“To make the other baby, silly!” 
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mwapollo · 1 month
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ok, this post is almost a month old.
some of you said that showing this door was not neccessary because it was built with mumbo's tutorial. some of you said that grian couldnt show him the door because it was in a secret lair. okay. gotcha.
now what will you say about grian building freaking GIANT farms COMPLETELY uncovered (they will be covered later, but he leaves them purposly opened now) in the MOST noticable area of his base possible WITHOUT using mumbo's tutorials and mumbo's help, without saying A WORD to him about his redstone projects--
yet grian still spends the whole episode jumping around and being proud of his modifications and new skills. so it is important to grian. he just. doesn't say anything about it to his REDSTONER BEST FRIEND WHO'S BEEN HIS REDSTONE SUPPORT FOR 7 YEARS
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do you really think he doesn't want to bring mumbo's attention to this? do you want to say that grian does it in this specific place in this specific manner not to provoke mumbo? do you want to look me dead in the eye and tell me that he doesn't expect any words of encouragement? "I'm proud of you Grian"? "good job Grian"? "did you do it yourself Grian"? "why didn't you invite me Grian?" oh I just forgot that you like redstone mumbo. not that I want you to make the first step and talk to me for once. or to notice me at all. or anything
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