#of being anxious and depressed | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dragoncxv360 · 11 months

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Due to some personal stuff I'm thinking of pulling the zombie au out of fnaf and making them just ocs. So I'm curious what other people think. Please don't just say do what you want/what makes you happy. I don't know what I want, that's why I'm asking for other people's opinions. I'm gonna schedule this for in a few days so I'll hopefully be feeling better (nvm I'm moving it to now, July 1st instead of July 3rd 'cause I'm an impatient bitch and the waiting is actually giving me more anxiety)

I'm just lost on what to do and would like to know what anybody who follows this au (if there's anybody) would like to see

Reblogs are off 'cause this is personal. Please leave any comments you would put in the tags in the replies instead

The gist is that some people have been uncomfortable with the au having pregnancy (idk who specifically as I was not told to my face) and I'm wondering if it might be better to just pull the au away from the fandom entirely, especially since Sun is canonically a guy and I think that's part of why people are so uncomfortable.

But yeah, I just feel very down about the way people have reacted to this au and am wondering if it'd be better to just sever it from fnaf completely so that hopefully people react slightly less disgusted.

Which is absolutely a valid feeling, don't get me wrong. It's just frustrating as a trans masc person that non female or non female presenting pregnant characters (and not to mention irl people) seem to get treated like it's a disgusting thing they're doing whereas female pregnancy is put on a pedistal as the most amazing thing a woman can do. Which is also wrong, everything about it is sexist and transphobic.

Honestly I thought about discontinuing it entirely, but I won't. I worked hard on the art and characters for it and the depression and anxiety don't get to decide this shit for me.

#zombie au #zombie apocolypse au #ellery speaks #poll #tumblr poll #ellery's art #ellery's writing #sundrop #moondrop #fnaf au #i'm trying to be vague as to what exactly happened since idk if i'm even allowed to talk about it #which fucking sucks 'cause it fucking hurts what happened #but if i complain i'm the bad guy 'cause *I* made people uncomfortable #so i'm just supposed to shut up and take it even if it's personally fucking over my mental health #and sending me into anxiety spirals so bad my meds can't help and i can't sleep easily and when i do i get nightmares #i'm just tired #i'm tired of feeling like i'm not allowed to be upset because i'm not the victim #and if i speak up at all i'll get treated like i'm trying to argue and say i did nothing wrong and get pushed out entirely #i'm tired of being me #of being anxious and depressed #i just wanna have normal reactions to things #not feeling like smashing plates and hurting myself when things go wrong

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betweenmee · 1 year

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You don’t get it, this pain never goes away

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silence-ofdeath · 1 year

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“I am alone with my own thoughts and it’s dangerous.”

-cress

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anxietywasright · 2 years

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I'm not a person I'm a problem, a problem that needs to be gone and disappear

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realbeefman · 8 months

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stacy is sooo interesting because she's in love with house but knows that they will never ever be able to have a healthy, stable, sane relationship because they're too similar so. she finds house-lite instead and marries him and. essentially moves on with her life! and is successful in this because she's a moderately well-adjusted person!

wilson, in contrast, never manages to escape the inevitable, in spite of his best efforts to find a house-lite of his very own, because he's an absolute fucking freak and ends up glued to house to the bitter. bitter end

#yeah im too sleepy to revise this. UNFILTERED posting wooahh #some may b shocked but i do actually read thru most of my posts several times to make sure i didnt accidentally write mein kampfe 2 #recently ive come to the realization that i am in fact not an incredibly chill person #and that the constant paranoia and fear in which i live my life is actually PROBABLY a symptom of severe anxiety #like damn. ive always known that im pretty prone to depression but ive preetty much always been aware of that #my mom is a chronic depressive so i know the symptoms i know the signs i have a pretty good arsenal of healthy coping mechanisms #UNFORTUNATELY mommy's mental health problems did not help her not abuse me as a child #so i ended up being a terribly anxious kid who was constantly being screamed at and told i was overreacting (because i was. because i had #a severe anxiety problem that was making me react irrationally.) to everything all the time #which is you know. it is VERY difficult to deal with a mental health problem when you arent aware you have a problem!#its incredible how much. better. my life has gotten since i figured this out and started actively trying to work out what triggers it #and being able to like. realize 'oookay. there is an Issue here and it needs to be overcome'#instead of just beating on myself constantly for not being able to do things without feeling sick or getting breathing problems!#anyways. trauma dumping in tags is over now!#house md #hilson #greg house #james wilson #stacy warner

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mrsdoubleagentstarr · 2 years

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I just want you to love me the way Iloveyou

#thoughts #writing #depressing quotes #sad life #toxic ex #breakup #sad qoutes #quotes #im lost #quote #anxious #depressing post #depressing shit #heartbreak #poetry #sad quotes #sorry for being depressing #spilled ink

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yellowocaballero · 5 months

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Omg hi Ms. Yellow Caballero big fan of your work <3 For real though, I'm really excited that your sharing the Weekenders, it was a joy to read and I'm bongocat-ing now that others also get the privilege to read it as well.

Referencing your tags, would you please elaborate of ableism in fandom and, like you said, how fandom treats characters with unpalatable disabilities?

Hi Ms. Bud Lite I'm a big fan of you <3

TL;DR A fear of writing characters of highly marginalized identities shields you from criticism and discomfort, but it's actively stigmatizing to people of these identities and as a writer you really need to get over yourself and write The Icky People.

I guess I'll come out swinging on this one and say that fandom doesn't like severe mental illness. (As a note, when I say severe mental illness (SMI) I mean illnesses such as psychotic disorders, bipolar disorder, substance use disorders, personality disorders, etc)

Obviously, nobody likes people w/SMI. It's just insanely egregious in fandom to me, since fanfic writers absolutely love writing characters or HC characters with depression, anxiety, or a specific variety of PTSD That Isn't Scary. People actively reject any character HCs for a SMI. When people write a character with SMI, they nicely downplay it, ignore it, substitute it for a disorder they like better, or rewrite it. It's completely untolerated, in both headcanons and in fanfiction, and every time I bring it up I always get the most interesting reasons why somebody couldn't possibly acknowledge a character's SMI in their writing. I've heard all of these:

"I don't know enough about the disorder to write it accurately." Do research.

"I'm not X, so I can't really depict it." You probably aren't a cis white man, but you depict those guys just fine.

"It feels insulting to the character." There is no shame in having a SMI.

"I can't understand what it's like, so it's better to be cautious and avoid giving characters stigmatized identities." There are LOTS of experiences that you'll never understand because you've never had them - you just don't want to write anything you're uncomfortable with. People with SMI make you uncomfortable, and you don't want to write anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, or think of a comfort character in an uncomfortable way. SMIs are marginalized differently than solely depression/anxiety/The Nice PTSD, and by refusing to write them you're actively contributing to the stigma.

I think (?) I've spoken in the past about how I believe that the rigorous external and internal policing of writing people of marginalized identities is actively harmful towards efforts to increase diversity of experience and background in fiction. A lot of fanfiction writers are just terrified to write people who they can't directly relate with, because they're worried 'they'll get it wrong' and be Big Cancelled. I think this is negative enough when it prevents people from going outside of their comfort zone, but on a macro level I think this results in people refusing to write characters of marginalized identities as all. It's an insidious thought process, and it's reflected in people's unwillingness to diversity their writing or acknowledge canon diversity.

'Well, I don't understand what it's like to be Black, so I don't want to write Black people'. 'I want to project on this character, so I only want to write them with mental illnesses and identities I have'. 'If I write a marginalized character incorrectly people will yell at me, so I won't write a marginalized character who's marginalized differently than me at all'. Can you imagine writing a lesbian character with a boyfriend because 'you feel uncomfortable writing lesbian experiences'? It's blatantly homophobic. But people do that with disability and race/ethnicity ALL THE TIME.

People with SMI notice that you feel uncomfortable with them. It's obvious. They notice when a character has a SMI + anxiety, and you only write their anxiety. They notice when a character displays symptoms of a SMI in canon, but you write it out. And POC notice when the characters of color are written out. I know we all like to project on the blorbos and relate to them, and in the joys of your own head do whatever, but as a writer if you only stick to identities you're comfortable with you are actively being a worse writer. Which to me is the REAL sin lmfao.

#my asks #thanks for enabling me lizzy if i didn't get this out i would have just vagued for the rest of time #even just beyond all of this on a more subtle lvl. HC people with SMI cowards. just do it. its good for you.#the two times me/a close friend have proposed on a fandom server "hey I read X as having a SUD/being on the schizophrenic spectrum'#there was actual fascinating pushback and rejection #people got MAD.#'blorbo wouldn't be an alcoholic he's not a bad person :(' fuck off #i dont use the word often but its ableism and you can be mentally ill and still ableist #if you dont feel educated enough on something to write it then do research #and while research wont give you everything it's a start #if you feel like you can only write people just like you then frankly? skill issue #i mentioned that the last fic was a bit of a spite fic - well #it was scientifically fascinating how the majority of a fandom wrote/acknowledged a character as depressed and anxious #but actively got incredibly defensive when someone suggested that the psychotic character may have had a psychotic disorder #it was so blatant. very annoying. anyway.

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theghoulboysblog · 8 days

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so sick and tired of having a generalized anxiety disorder bro 😭 like why am i always nervous I AM LITERALLY JUST SITTING DOWN?!? 😭

#tw anxiety #tw depression #i got my anxiety medication increased 🙏 so hopefully i start noticing a difference #also i found out it doubles as an antidepressant so no wonder my depression has been better lmao 😭#but my anxiety really is the thing that overpowers these days 😭#being so anxious all the time is so exhausting 😭#but it’s cool we up fr 💪

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samipekoe · 2 years

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