#my mind is killing me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

calamityman · 1 year

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I wish I knew why I’m never good enough ….

#2am thoughts #drown me #my mind is killing me #i’m miserable #I’m not worth anyone’s time #unloveable #I feel used #used me for my attention and then left me out to dry

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someuncreativity · 1 year

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CW: suggestive content, kinda ventish, poor formatting of comic

Since this page is basically turning into “someuncreativity airs out his frustrations unto the empty void that is the Internet”, I present to you ‘Lust’, a short comic that kinda accurately represents my psyche’s long-documented insatiable thirst for physical human contact

Oh and just in case someone doesn't want to see that, here you go

Just as a side note I don’t plan on making many of these unless y’all *really* want more, but let’s face it who wants more of this lmao

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cliffhangerqueen · 10 months

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Bangs head against the keyboard because the words simply won't write themselves

#creativity #what creativity #my mind is killing me #literally what do i do #life of a writer #my writing

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egophiliac · 7 months

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just thinking about hair and faces

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #i don't THINK this counts as face horror but just in case #face horror #for your daily dose of me losing my mind over anime characters #i don't know why the hair thing surprised me so much. i think because i thought it was funny that lilia named silver after his hair color.#like ha ha lilia is hilariously bad at names how cute and silly!#oh. oh it's kind of a Thing.#anyway i am excited to see where the heck all of this stuff with silver's various dads ends up!#we still don't actually know who killed meleanor!#we still don't know literally anything about dad draconia! (dadconia? dradconia?)#we don't know what happened to the macguffin gem with its magical dad-saving powers!#(surely this will not come back to save a certain dad at a later point. of course not.)#man i was not expecting episode 7 to be all dads all the time #i mean i'm here for it but #hey remember when the highest stakes were who was gonna win the big talent show #then robots started kidnapping people and now we've just escalated from there #episode 8 our cat is going to turn into a drippy ink kaiju and we're going to have to mecha battle him to save the world or something #each member of diasomnia pilots a limb and we gattai into a giant robot dragon and hold on i gotta submit this spec script to aniplex brb

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hellcifrogs · 4 months

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Have been seeing these for a while and I figured I had to show you how I've come full circle with my flower girls <3

#my art #naruto #haruno sakura #sakura kinomoto #cardcaptor sakura #redraw #i have a guy in mind for them to kill #pls my beloved sakuras #kill this piece lf shit bastatd for me

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olasketches · 3 months

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two sides of the same coin

#itadori yuuji #ryomen sukuna #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #my art #jujutsu kaisen fanart #brainrot incoming (pls don’t mind me)#one thing sukuna and yuuji have in common is that they’re both absolutely miserable #sukuna is utterly selfish and yet it only made him hollow inside and now he’s just killing time waiting for death to come #yuuji is completely selfless and yet it’s only made him suffer and bc of that he’s been constantly trying to check out of life #and I think the funniest but also the most painful thing about these two is that…#despite that they’re vastly opposite they might be the only people that can understand each other the most #imagine them having a heart to heart lol maybe then they would realise some things about themselves

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ventique18 · 6 days

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Baby dragon 🐉🍼 is in papa's office, lazing about in his little bean bag that he dragged beside the sunlit window.

🐉🍼: *yawn*

🐉: "My, what a big yawn! Are you alright, Mister Drowsy? Is our Lord of Eepers eepy?"

When you spend everyday with your modern spouse, you can't help but pick up a word or two from their vocabulary.

But his baby only side-eyes him for a whole five seconds, unspeaking. Then the boy sighs loudly, buries his snout in the bean bag, and dozes off.

🐉:

He's never felt more judged in his life.

#this reaction image is permanently in my mind #you don't understand how his this is fine face kills me everytime i remember it for my headcanons #twisted wonderland #ventique rambles #malleus draconia

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poltoreveur · 4 months

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I could fix him but I kinda like him a little murderous and psychotic tho

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xulips · 10 months

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clearly, they have the same opinion on being "casual"

#I LOVE THESE OUTFITS SO MUCH #everyone looks so goofy #i like the niigo's second (vbs is always first)#they r so goofy !!!!#the mzen and knmf diversity #project sekai #prsk #nightcord at 25:00 #kanade yoisaki #yoisaki kanade #mafuyu asahina #asahina mafuyu #ena shinonome #shinonome ena #mizuki akiyama #akiyama mizuki #feel free to tag as mzen / knmf / or polyniigo i don't mind !!!!!#mayb i should clarify that all platonic post of mine can also be interpreted as romantic it doesn't rlly bother me #(as long as its NOT my familial post or else i will kill someone)

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someuncreativity · 1 year

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CW: sex mention, depression, kinda self diagnosing but not really, vent

Ok I just realized something, and I may be self diagnosing or whatever but I’m pretty sure that, if I have it, my perpetual horniness is a result of my depressive state depriving me of my ability to feel most things and thus I gravitate towards anything to make myself experience any sort of emotion other than the psychological equivalent of TV static and it turns out that jacking off to half-naked fish men I drew is the only way my brain knows how to do that

Also god I’ve been making a lot of vent posts. I’m sorry y’all, I know that my page is supposed to be “haha look at gay fish man” and nothing else, but I feel like this is the only way that I can actually let out my frustrations without being involuntarily sent to a psych ward, not that there’s anything wrong with that- I just don’t like hospitals and all that

Anyway please help thank you

#just girly things #my mind is weird #deppresion #sorry for being depressing #cw sex mention #suggestive cw #cw vent #tw sh vent #vent tag #my mind is killing me #why am i like this #my mind is all over the place #please help #why are we like this #it’s not fucking funny #it’s not funny anymore #i’m genuinely upset #why is my brain like this

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lucabyte · 7 days

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i feel like people are sleeping on the occam's razor situation of how buckwild it is to outright accuse a guy of being a clone of your friend even if you DO have a lot of circumstantial evidence. there's other options is what im saying. they could just be like. a guy. that's a sensible deduction. you should explore that deduction. ignore my shirt that reads I <3 RED HERRINGS.

i still think odile has the correct theory on lock but she's smart enough to know it needs like... a real smoking gun to be able to bring it up without sounding insane.

anyway. (mirabelle voice) i know its rude to speculate but has anyone else noticed the grieving? they seem to be grieving. does anyone have any thoughts on the grieving? i have some thoughts on the grieving.

#[isabeau voice] am i insane or does sometimes loop talk like they might have killed their whole family. is that just me? just checking.#nille design highly inspired by @kiwibrain's since its the one that imprinted in my mind. liberties taken since i didnt look @ reference #anyway i have a lot more thoughts on this? i guess ill hide them in the tags...? scroll down i suppose.#isat #in stars and time #isat spoilers #in stars and time spoilers #isat act 6 spoilers #isat loop #isat siffrin #isat bonnie #isat nille #isat fanart #in stars and time fanart #doodlebyte #----------------------------------------------------------------------#anyway the extra thoughts. are literally just my general thoughts on postcanon. (and thus are the context for all of my postcanon doodles!)#which is i think nille joins the party before loop reappears for a start (either from a period of nonexistence or just wandering around)#and that like. i think the party should be able to integrate loop as a completely new person. because they are! the secrecy isn't great but #They and Siffrin shuffle into different ecological niches in the party (eg. i think sif is more squeamish after it all but loop isnt)#and while it's not *exactly* what Loop wanted they get that beggars can't be choosers. and its pretty good #(i am glossing over how i think loop's reappearence drags both them and siffrin into a massive behavioural backslide and is likely a bit #distressing to watch go down. cycle of argument -> lovebombing -> normalcy -> repeat. etc etc. but since they are no longer literally #stewing in the worst pressure cooker of all time they do resolve it via productive conversation on their own time. its fine)#the party well-meaningly tries to deduce things from loop's vagueries and are able to pin down the DEAD FAMILY vibe pretty quickly.#but eventually the question of their prior identity falls by the wayside because well! they're just their friend loop! (also change belief)#as for how The Truth Come Out... this is what i mean by The Isabeau Torment Nexus(tm). which is that i think... isiloop should almost occur #BEFORE isabeau knows who loop is. he's just genuinely charmed by them eventually and tries to close the open end of the polycule #which FREAKS LOOP THE FUCK OUT because thats just too genuinely sick and wrong. and obviously w emotions high its not a great confrontation #ANYWAY told u i had more thoughts. if i were normal itd be a text post but.

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ferncloud · 5 months

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ferncloud

#ferncloud #warrior cats #shes so me (has nothing in common)#an au where she kills ashfur floats in my mind but im bad at writing so thats all ive come up with #mine

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yourespirallingagain · 2 years

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I want to die

I can't do this anymore

#but it's fine #because i won't actually do anything #I'll just think about it #all the time #but also I genuinely don't know how much longer I can keep going like this #my mind is killing me #the loneliness is killing me #depression #anxiety #depressed #suicudal #suicidal ideation

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needle-noggins · 11 months

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(CW for SA, suicidal ideation) Here we go. My favorite and simultaneously least favorite panel of Vash and Knives.

I've seen a few interpretations of this scene and before we dive into the one that really struck me, let's start with the more... chill one. We're finally introduced to the third gun of Trigun, Vash's angel arm. And the way we're introduced to it involves Knives forcing him to pull the trigger. Of course, since no one knows anything about Knives, the people of Noman's Land blame Vash for Fifth Moon, and Vash likewise blames himself (this is kinda a spoiler but if you've been paying attention, it's just par for the course). However, he's not the one who pulled the trigger, Knives is. It brings up an interesting moral question of blame - do we blame the gun (and Vash, who is being used/objectified as a weapon here), or the person who wanted it to happen? Guns don't kill people, genocidal twins do!

Now for the awful interpretation, the one that makes me cry and wish Vash was real so I could hug him and pay for his therapy. And really highlights how awful Knives is and how far he'd go for his brother in his own, fucked-up way. I touched on this in a previous post about Legato and the Murder Cafe, and the whole time I was thinking about Fifth Moon but didn't want to say anything for the sake of spoilers.

So. Pay attention to the way Vash and Knives are standing. Knives, when he first grabbed Vash's head, was standing in front of him. He moves behind him to better control him and yeah, he's still controlling him via hand on head, and now he's got his other hand gripping Vash's chest, where feathers/wings are manifesting. Knives is assaulting him. If you wanna get crazy with it and say that the angel arm is kinda phallic, you could say... yeah. This is rape. I heard that specific interpretation once and while I accepted it I also don't know if that would be generally accepted or if I'd be called out for it, so I'm trying to tread lightly here.

It also doesn't escape me that of course the angel arm has feminine features like the plants - the plants that, again, humans are exploiting for their ability to create. There's a lot of feminist commentary to be made here but many people have said it better than me. Specifically I'm thinking of this one post I saw about gender fuckery and Tristamp Vash. Anyway.

Also, the atomic bomb/black hole/sun/whatever that is in the middle... It's just so powerful. It's terrifying. The eldritch body horror here is a punch to the gut. What the fuck, Trigun? I thought this was a funky space western!!!

Oh, and here's more commentary on the following few panels:

Vashussy shot, Knives is still right behind him. Yeah, I wasn't kidding about how bad this pose is for them. Knives, you sick fuck.

Vash shoots himself in the leg (a key difference from '98 trigun, lol), because of course he does, but it doesn't free him from the arm.

The arm's getting darker/the light inside is getting lighter! Stampede did an awesome job with their interpretation of the angel arm and I don't think I would have understood it without that. Also, on my first read I didn't notice that Vash is literally levitating, which is cool, but also terrifying because ?? he's not in control of that either??

Finally. A super painful, minimalist, double-page spread. Nightow loves 'em. Vash thinks he's dying (maybe?) and he wishes he had never existed. It's not suicidal ideation per se, but he wishes he didn't exist at all because he's already caused enough suffering. This is a low for him, because he believes so strongly in the concept of the Blank Ticket. (Come on, soupy brain bitch boy, get it together!) He's a monster, it's just how he was born, and he's not in control. Very specifically too, he says "we", and then changes it to "I"... he doesn't blame Knives at all, and that's very him. I want to shake him! Stop playing the martyr, Vash!