10th June

Out of all the arguments, fights, conflicts or whatever the hell you can call it, I feel the worst tonight. It’s like something switched inside you and I can no longer recognise who you are. I have tried to be the best partner, to be understanding and kind because I get it, you’re in a rough patch. But is it fair for me to be treated like im an outsider? To be left alone in the dark worrying about you and not getting any updates? Fuck. You don’t even have the decency to reply to my text. It’s like im not even important for you. Like am I not even worthy of a few seconds of your life? When you read my text, did it ever crossed your mind to at least let me know you’re okay? Didn’t you ever think how scared or anxious I would feel? Instead, you deliberately opened my text and left me on read. I guess me caring too much is probably suffocating for you right? Because that’s what you made me feel. Like I suffocate you.

Truth is, I am unhappy. You make me unhappy. Im not an expert on romance but, this doesn’t feel like love anymore.

i look good! (what's so wrong with that?)

for @jacksmannequin

There will not be a single moment next week in which I’m not running around doing something

"omg noooo an hbo hp reboot wouldn't be good it would just ruin it :(((" ruin what? the story that's 20% textbook fantasy tropes, 30% plot holes and 50% shitty neoliberal politics? the story where there's a slave race that enjoys being enslaved? the one where the happy ending is the main character becoming a wizard cop??

the reason an hbo hp reboot would be bad is that jkr is a virulent transmisogynist who uses her money + fame to actively perpetuate transmisogynistic violence + broader transphobia. hbo could make the best fucking hp show perfectly catered to ur personal tastes and it still wouldn't change that.

his voice crack at the end of rrrrrrakas~

I'm glad we got to see more happy-mask Gangle, but something about her is so,,,, off, u know?

Like,, she seems out of it, which might be the point. Can't wait to see more of her!!

Lester: would you rather have 30 million dollars or 30 million loyal friends?

Meg: the fuck am I gonna do with 30 million friends?

[pro heroes on a mission]

Todoroki: Are you alright!? Do you feel like you're going to pass out?

Deku, bleeding profusely: nooo i CAN'T pass out-

Deku, very distraught: -I have a date with Kacchan tonight!!

Todoroki: ...

Todoroki: OKAY!? We need to discuss your Priorities!?!

💍PUT A RING ON IT💍

Okay, so, question I've had for a while but never got around to asking, what the FUCK is up with Grian's wings?

If all physical differences in players (like those particularly ascribed to 'Hybrids' in mcyt fanon) in Hunger AU are a result of conscious altering of your own code for the express purpose of achieving YOUR IDEAL BODY(tm) then what does that mean for Grian and his wings? No one seems to regard Grian's wings as "What The Fuck, You Can DO That?!?" so presumably wings aren't so big of a change from normal biology that players can't do that. If so, why is it not more common? Man, if I could have wings I'd jump on that in seconds. Especially with the sheer utility the ability to fucking FLY gives players. Are wings (and maybe other larger alterations) just like, REALLY HARD to code in? If so, that might add a really cool layer of "Oh wow! They must be a really good coder!" to players who meet people like that.

On a related note, Grian seems to have a positive regard for his wings, which is interesting because I would be willing to bet he didn't have that before *insert sounds of worm-bursting and non-consensual body modification*. I imagine seeing his wings would likely feel like a reminder of the Watchers and what they did to him. BUT, Watchers manipulate their own code when they change like Grian did to, y'know, not be a worm anymore so Grian probably specifically chose how he looked, right? So, unless he did so really rushed and somehow made a mistake while doing so (which he might not be able to risk the structural damage of correcting), keeping the wings was a conscious decision. Does Grian just not associate his wings with the Watchers or is it something else? Does he just really enjoy having wings?

HELLO I AM SO GLAD YOU'VE ASKED THIS BECAUSE I HAVE ‼️‼️‼️‼️ MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT IT ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

Okay okay so these are all SUCH valid questions, lemme go through them one by one. Wings are indeed something anyone could have if they wanted to code them in-- and in fact, i do believe many other Players have wings throughout the universe!!! As far as body mods go, i like to think of them as decently popular, so its definitely not anything too weird to see. In chapter 5, i even make a mention to Pearl having moth wings she occasionally codes in due to preference!!! So wings of many different types are definitely available-- but the catch is that they're real fiddly to code. You cant just give yourself wings, you have to code in the bone structure, the muscles, the tendons, etc etc, and then you have to change your entire body structure as well to work with and fully support them. They can be awkward and unwieldy, as ive tried to show in the fic itself, and i think that alone can be a big discouragement for Players considering coding in wings, along with the sheer coding effort needed to obtain them and make them functional

And the thing is, elytra already exist-- they're far more compact, they dont take up as much space, you can take them on and off super easily without having to mess with your coding, and they basically do the same thing. Sure, its a pain to get one, but a lot of Players really enjoy the sense of accomplishment, and i think theres a bit of cultural prestige too in that regard. Server milestones are a huge thing in Player culture, and getting your first pair of elytra is a big one!!! So it makes sense to me that people who just dont want to go through the effort of coding in wings (which can then in turn complicate how they code other future modifications) primarily stick to elytra.

And everybody is different-- some people prefer attributes that arent wings. I like to think everyone in hermitcraft generally is a mix of "jeez thats effort, i could be building my base instead of doing that" and "eh im fine how i am, i like it" and "well we have elytra shops everywhere so why bother".

So in short, yeah!! Wings are a bit complex to code in. They're still pretty popular, i think plenty of Players do choose to incorporate them, but it takes a lot of hard and thorough work to make sure they function right and wont bug you out when you use them. There are billions of Players scattered across the universe, so what you're seeing in the fic right now is truly just a drop in the ocean when it comes to Player body diversity :] and then, elytra basically already help Players achieve a form of flight without the hassle of recoding their entire body structure, so i think the majority of Players just prefer to use them instead.

AS FOR GRIAN'S WINGS IN PARTICULAR......

Well..... its complicated. Particularly his feelings about them-- in the fic, i referenced them as the only good thing the Watchers ever gave him, and thats how he sees it, i think: a thin silver lining. He's had many, many years to get used to them, and i think he goes through periods where he hates them and the memories attached, too. Ultimately, he's kinda stuck with them, so i think he hit a form of acceptance (as bitter-tinged as it may be) out of sheer necessity for his own sanity.

As for why he has them, and hasnt coded them out: i think of it as a particular quirk of biology/structural coding. Watchers have a more instinctive way of coding than Players, but a Player-minded Watcher is still going to think like a Player, and thats going to muddle things a lot. Grian essentially had to relearn how to code, in a way that satisfied both Player and Watcher-style coding, and the results at first were.... a little rough around the edges. Once he managed to finally take on his original former appearance, the wings from his true form just kind of.... stuck. I like to think it took a few increasingly desperate tries before he realized he just could not figure out how to get rid of them (bc of how different his new code was), and had to accept that this was just how he was gonna have to live for a while until he finally figured it out. And then, well.... you can get used to anything, if you're stuck with it long enough. I think after a while it just stopped being a huge priority, and then he reached a point where it would be more awkward to live without them than with them, and he eventually dropped the idea altogether. And i think sometimes, they function almost like a scar, to him-- a reminder of what he went through, yes, but a reminder that he did manage to escape. And, ofc, he also just really, really likes flying skdjskdjdj

So yeah, loads of complicated feelings there about his wings, and its stuff i do plan on exploring later in the fic!!! This got a little rambly, but i hope this makes sense and answers your questions!!!! :D its a fun little complicated knot that im glad someone has gotten curious enough to ask about!!!!

ive started marking passages whenever theres a drarry (aka any sort of interaction or harry observing draco) moments and i think i deserve compensation for my work bc harry would not Shut The Fuck Up abt this boy the minute he enters hogwarts jesus christ, im gonna run out of my first batch of sticky tabs

something is happening? i now have to know dracos reaction about it. doesnt matter if hes doing the loud theatrics over his table(WHICH IS FAR AWAY FROM GRYFFINDORS) or just reacting by himself, harry will Make the readers know what it is no matter what. like seriously do i really have to know that pansy was worrying over dracos injury and that when she looks away draco is winking over crabbe and goyle?? harry please focus on ur potions

also started to realize that ron reacts more violently whenever draco is talking as opposed to harry, which is pretty wild to me cuz harry Is capable of feeling hatred, he doesnt shy away from hating snape in his mind and being snippy about it, but draco being an annoying little prat gets like Maybe a small flicker of annoyance. he seems to be more busy trying not to look embarrassing in front of him for some reason (the first dementor incident, when he received his valentine letter and sees draco in the audience, not wanting to go to hospital wing like boy who cares what draco will think???? my god)

50% of my drawing advice is always "ref ref ref studies studies studies figure drawing figure drawing figure drawing mental library mental library" and then the other 50% is "it doesn't have to BE right it just has to LOOK right." (these two things are not in conflict; the former helps you pull off the latter). then i think the natural extension of that one becomes "it doesn't even have to look RIGHT it just has to look GOOD"

Need to stop saying yes to people while I’m running on empty. I rly don’t know why I do this, but between preparing for my neuro hospital internship / studying full time for one of the hardest national exams in the states / volunteering at 3 places / like 8282727 other things I genuinely do not have the energy to be around people and present. Especially bc people are used to a more bubbly version of me and I am just!! Tired!!! And cannot be that right now!! But I also do love my friends and don’t want to self isolate. Life is so hard when you’re a busy girl who gets her energy thru being around people but literally does not have the time

Hi may I request my TADC ocs(pic below) meeting Gangle and Jax?

here you go:)

so sorry it took almost a week to answer I already finished this 2 days ago but was distracted by ep.2

@jessica199616

Tbh I'm so excited to get into the plot, but I really can't wait to start doing more romance-based scenes. It's so much fun writing little asides for interactions where romantic interest has been established. I love the MC getting distracted by the ROs being hot even as they're trying to solve mysteries and get home.

sorry i think of ur into openly posting about sexualizing rape and incest ur gross i dont care who u are as a person im not going to reblog callouts or whatever bc im a relatively normal adult but i will block u and think ur strange can we not make the round of these annoying posts for the millionth time