#not understanding one concept or even a whole subject didn't make me feel like a failure i just cheated the fuck off my bestfriend's test
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i miss being 11 i miss having a normal borderline indifferent relationship with studying
#not understanding one concept or even a whole subject didn't make me feel like a failure i just cheated the fuck off my bestfriend's test#and we all giggled and laughed as she dictated the answer because all three of us didn't know shit about geography and mountains and#volcanoes#what the fuck who was that person am i still the same how do i go back
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Sequel to my "Best (human) boy for periods" ranking; here comes the worsties (Affectionate)
Ace - Ultimate teenage boy(tm), is gonna make a big stink and fuss over how he doesn't wanna hear about you being on or think about it. "No poops, no farts, no periods"! kinda guy. He'll get better when he's older but in your first year as friends? He's gonna tease and antagonise you. If you're the emotional type when you'er on, you can turn the tables on him by crying and getting the whole class to go "Wow, what an asshole" at him for the rest of the week tho.
Vil - This guy holes everyone to the same standards as him, fully believing everyone can give 110% at all times. He's gonna come at you about how just because you're on the rag doesn't mean you can start snacking on chocolate bars all the time (or any comfort food). He WILL critique your skincare routine if your skin breaks out. One day he'll look back at how he treated you and thank Rook for literally carrying him away from you before you killed him.
Epel - Not really his fault, but considering his "old fashioned" upbringing, things like periods were just Not Discussed, even between the women in his family, so Epel's first reaction to learning that you're on is just a sound "I didn't hear that" slowly evolving into a "Why tf are you telling me this?" (Because I bled through my trousers and can't get up from this chair Epel, jeez). Just will not engage with the subject at hand.
Deuce - More of an inbetween than actually the worst(tm), he earns a lot of brownie points for wanting to help you and is the type to panic buy every item on the shelf. BUT! if you're the type to get moody or aggressive when you're on, he's instinctively gonna meet aggression with aggression and you two will have to be seperated for a while.
Idia - Just straight up wont deal with it, he'll send Ortho to help you. Best you're gonna get from this guy is a "RIP LMAO" when you text him that you're on :(
Honorable mention: Silver. Not his fault either, but being raised in a predominantly fairy based family unit, periods are an alien concept to him. Won't really understand what's going on when you try to explain it to him, and with Lilia as his main guide, is gonna make a LOT of mistakes before he gets things right but he get's a lot of points for trying to help. Might even use his UM to see into your dreams/memories to get a feel for what it's like, just so he can better know how to help you.
Aww, see I get that it would be realistic for some of the boys to be immature and get grossed out, but it's a fantasy world! Maybe my fantasy is that the boys are semi-educated on the human body and are gonna support me during my periods 😭
I really think both Vil and Deuce should be given more credit, though. Vil is very in touch with his femininity, and doesn't really disrespect others unless they disrespect him or cause trouble, based on his interactions with others at least. I think he'd be excellent because he can make the best pain potions for your cramps, and might be willing to give you tips on how to care for your skin during your hormonal periods. But only if he likes you.
Deuce was raised only by his mama, and based on what I know of her from the JP event, she def gives off the vibes of "I'm teaching my son how to care and respect women." He'd probably understand that you're not being aggressive with him for the sake of it, you emotions are being messed with due to all the hormones fluctuating in your body. But I do agree that he is the type to panic buy one of everything to help you out.
The others, I can see it, though I would like to this that Epel's case is less of being raised old-fashioned (nothing about him and the way he interacts with others screams old-fashioned to me), and more of being one of the few young people in a town of old people. The folk that can have periods don't because they've probably gone through menopause! It doesn't occur to them that he should probably know about periods!!!
Ace and Idia are just immature and dumb and I love them. Also, rip Silver, he's never interacted with another human outside of Sebek's dad.
Anyways my headcanon for the TWST universe is that they actually teach biology and anatomy so people aren't taught to know nothing about things like periods. Cause that's stupid why do we do that?
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I know there's that whole thing about the "3 learning styles" (visual hearing and touch) being a myth, because most things are best taught through multi-sensory reinforcement, or something like that. But still, thinking back to school, I feel like visualisation is the only way I've ever learnt things. Like if I can't recreate it and simulate it in 2d space in my mind, then I can't get it at all.
And this was like the only factor differentiating whether I was good or bad at a school subject. Like, physical geography? Geometry? Graphical algebra ? Piss easy, trivial, they literally give me the visual to understand the problem, that's how I see it in my mind anyway. Literary analysis? Whaddahell. Chemistry? I don't know what a H2SO3 is.... these molecules and bonds and stuff are too small and vague to understand
But like the thing is, in the end, that was enough to carry me all the way through high school, so I never thought twice about it. But now in uni, every lecturer is like "you need to learn the theoretical basis before you can understand the practical applications" and the theory is just 4 weeks worth of totally foreign integration stuff. So now I'm like, "I can't understand the theory without a complete encompassing visual understanding, but I can't understand the given visuals because I don't know the theory!" What do I even do?
I think this (alongside social anxiety) might be the crux of my inability to ask questions.... cuz I can't just ask someone "I don't understand, what does this concept look like in 2d space?" when it's like, the process of making a job application, or verbal instructions to do something... It's just like a nonsensical question
Unless they can give me like a literal map of where to go to do things. or even like a flowchart. that would be helpful actually
But like, I'm still not unconvinced that this is just how learning things is supposed to work, and I'm just doing it bad or something. If I didn't know aphantasia existed, I would've literally defined understanding as "being able to visualise and run through a process in complete detail in my head". there has to be some other way, or something I'm doing wrong, or else no one would be able to get through all this shit in uni. Is there another way...
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How to study like Elle Woods
This is a new series I'm doing! I'll be looking at our fave smart pop culture girlies and examining how they study, why they study and what works for them. If you have any recommendations then please say!! I always love to hear them.
Have a reason for studying. Elle didn't just sit down one day and start studying, she sat down and started studying with a plan. Elle knows that you can achieve your goals with hard work and focus so she gives her all to every task she's set no matter the size.
Find fun ways to study. One of my favourite moments of the film is when Elle is on her exercise bike reading a textbook. Making your studying fun and memorable to you is going to help you so much more than following whatever is popular on social media or what your friends are doing.
Dress for the day. No matter the occasion, Elle always had a super cute outfit. Because dressing how you like will help you feel more confident. Elle isn't afraid to step outside of her comfort zone when it comes to clothes and class. She engages in discussions and group work and wearing something that makes you feel confident can help you do the same.
Having breaks. Elle still finds time to have fun and rest in between studying. Working for nine hours straight isn't going to make you a better student, it'll just pull you closer to feeling burnt out and tired. Having breaks will help you to refresh and get back in the zone for studying.
Understand the importance of every school assignment. Elle gave 100% to every school assignment, class discussion and test. She understands that engaging with your subject material will help you become the best student you can be.
Make sure you have activities outside of school. Having awesome grades isn't always going to guarantee you stand out. Find volunteering, work and extracurricular opportunities to help you to stand out and ensure you get into your dream school or offered your dream job.
Self care, self care, self care!! Elle knows how important taking time for yourself is. In the film she's regularly shopping, getting her nails done and hanging out with friends. She loves school and studying but understands it isn't her whole life.
Get pretty stationary! Elle has cute notebooks, pens and pencils. Having cute supplies will help make study more of an event.
Have more than a surface level interest in your subjects. Elle loved law, she enjoyed studying it and so she chose to learn more than what was just taught in her class. Extending her knowledge helped to make her a better student. Find articles, books, studies and anything else on your subjects that will help you know more about it.
Study with people. Find or start a study group like Elle did! Even if it doesn't always work out, you shouldn't give up. Studying with others helps you learn concepts you may not have understood, keeps you consistent with your studying and can help you find new methods of studying. If you can't find a group or meet with someone in person, try facetiming a friend or studying with a study with me youtube video.
Thank you for reading! All my love, mj.
#that girl#glow up era#self development#self love#glow up journey#glow up#self care#studying#study motivation#study inspiration#study inspo#elle woods#legally blonde#coquette#pink pilates princess
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Here's a little breakdown of my personal relationship/non-relationship with various types of aesthetic self-modification (?, I feel like there might be a word or at least a more elegant phrase to denote this category). The point is not to offer my "take" on each thing but to express the different feelings/desires/inhibitions my psyche manifests around them. Some of these will approach awkwardly personal territory, fair warning! You may notice that basically none of them are especially positive; I'm going to leave off from analyzing that pattern for this post.
Tattoos -- I think tattoos as a concept are extremely cool, frequently they're cool in practice also and I like seeing other people's, but I don't think I've ever had even the smallest urge to get one for myself. I'm not totally sure why. The lack of an obvious thing to get is one factor, I feel like "band tattoo" would be the most likely thing for me to have but I don't like the idea of directly lifting a band logo or album art and I really don't like the idea of a lyric tattoo (I offer no justification for these prejudices), so I'd have to get clever with it if I'm doing that and I'm not very clever. More broadly, I predict that my enthusiasm for any artwork I put on my body would fade through overexposure in a matter of weeks if not days--other people describe "barely knowing it's there" after a short time--which on top of making the value of the project seem dubious, I feel like having a permanent image on my skin that I don't actively love would be something I'd feel bad about rather than neutral. Like "man, that thing's on my arm and I don't care about it at all, that sucks" rather than just not noticing it. Maybe I'm wrong about that.
(Tattoos are the one that got me thinking about this whole subject I think, it feels like they're reaching a ubiquity in the culture where it's almost like you're expected to have a reason not to have one rather than a reason to? Maybe that's just a people-I-know thing, anyway it got me thinking about why I don't want one.)
Piercings -- An interesting thing about me and piercings is that it's virtually impossible for me to notice when somebody has them unless I'm like, actively consciously scrutinizing their face (or whatever it is). When I was about ten months into my current job I asked my co-worker who I worked closely with almost every day "hey when did you get that septum ring" and she was like "well way before I met you". That is simply how it is with me and piercings and I make no apology.
If my inability to perceive piercings (perceirvings...) makes me indifferent to the idea of getting one, what makes me actively hostile is the total certainty that I would fiddle with it constantly if I did. I know these hands and their ways and there would simply be no dissuading them, it would be so bad you guys, oh my god. This is probably the hardest no on the list I think, although I haven't finished the post yet so idk maybe I'll think of a worse one.
Makeup -- There's undeniably a lot that's very beautiful in the universe of makeup and there's also the weird dark side, I have dabbled a little in this area and in my heart I feel more positively than not about it, but it's just never going to be a sustainable part of my life because (not unrelated to previous para) I am a perennial and unrepentant face-toucher. I will be itching and rubbing my face-skin and also inflicting other hard-to-characterize punishments upon it (is this "stimming"?) until the day I die and anything that wants to be on my face has just gotta deal. It would probably be better if this was not the case but I don't make the rules, sorry.
Haircuts -- When I was a child I haaaaaated getting my hair cut, like the physical sensation of it? Was so horrible and would usually make me cry and always ruin my day (is this "sensory overload"?), I didn't understand why I was being made to go through this ordeal and basically as soon as I reached an age when I realized my mom couldn't literally force me to do it if I just stubbornly refused hard enough--that age was 13 I think--I stopped. I haven't had a professional haircut since that time although I'm sure I could cope with the sensory aspect at this point, it's just not a habit I ever picked up again (I've had a couple of non-professional ones from my ex who just kind of wanted to try it, in a not particularly ambitious or dramatic fashion). Sometimes I feel like I should, but idk. My hair as it stands is not optimized for making me look hot but I don't think it looks especially horrible either, it's just kind of whatever I think.
Complicating factor here: I've had trichotillomania since I was 15/16, and it's hard to imagine it going away at this point but it's a lot more under control than it used to be, to the point where you can't really tell just from my appearance that something's up now. I say "under control", I have very little conscious control over it and usually no conscious awareness that I'm doing it, but over the years the compulsion seems to have unconsciously settled into a routine where it's just kind of... sculpting my hair into a more-or-less normal silhouette? Like I sort of have a fringe and stuff despite no haircuts. Oh I guess this doesn't make sense unless I clarify that I mostly break rather than pluck the hair nowadays, that's a big part of the gradual unconscious shift that's occurred.
A fun thing about trichotillomania is that it often makes people really uncomfortable when you talk about having it, which sucks for me because it makes me feel lonely, but I guess it sucks for the person feeling uncomfortable too in a smaller way. If you're one of the people who feel uncomfortable around this topic, sorry! Quite genuinely.
Gender transition in general -- I feel like I'm just, just on the boring side of cis-by-default. I think about transitioning shockingly often for someone who's never gonna do it, like it's not searing a hole in my heart or anything like it is for a lot of people but it occupies that "it would be cool to learn an instrument" kind of niche in my thoughts, if that makes sense? (Probably a bit stronger than that analogy makes it sound, it's on my mind frequently but not with a massive sense of urgency attached I guess is what I'm getting at.) I can see myself taking the plunge if the medical technology was like 10% better, or the social technology was like 20% better, or with some medium-sized changes in how my personality was configured, but this life being this life there's no way in heck the juice would be worth the squeeze. If I had one fifth of the executive function required to do all of that lying to doctors and learning how to clothes shop and having awkward conversations with people in my life and all the rest of it, well I can list like ten things I'd rather spend it on first. And I don't!
Glasses -- Love wearing glasses, 10/10 no notes. I knew since I was like 11 that my face should have a pair of glasses on it and I was very smug when the optician agreed (I did not cheat on the eye test in any way for what it's worth). The only times I'm not wearing glasses are sleeping and showering. I don't even carry a case because there's no point because I simply don't ever take them off. This is probably overkill, I think as a kid I was instructed to only put them on when I need to see something in the distance, ignoring that and just wearing them permanently has probably led to my vision weakening to the point where they're now pretty much mandatory in every situation, but I don't give a shit about that because just let me wear my goddamned glasses okay, fuck off. It's actually crazy how much I like wearing glasses, this is the only true thumbs up on the list.
I remembering trying to explain how I like my glasses to a then-close friend of mine many years ago when the subject of laser eye surgery came up in conversation, he said I should get the surgery and then just wear glasses with non-prescription lenses. When I tried to explain why that wouldn't be the same at all he was adamant that I was just being stubborn. That guy was a wonderful person in many ways and I loved him very deeply, but man what a dumbass thing to say.
Facial hair -- There are so many great beards and moustaches in this world, there are few more cheering sights than someone bearing some swish whiskers who's pleased about it, but personally I don't wish to be involved in that business at all.
I never learned how to ride a bike -- Obviously this one doesn't belong on the list, it doesn't fit with any of the other categories, and yet I feel compelled to include it here. And why should I resist that which compels me? This is my post. Yeah, I'm the oldest of four siblings, we were all given bikes at the appropriate kid-on-bike age, the others picked it up but not me. I liked it when I had stabilizers on my bike, then they took them off and I started falling off the bike, and after a very short amount of time I gave up. Like I didn't get mad injuries or anything, it just felt like I wasn't improving at it quickly enough and I didn't feel like keeping it up so I didn't. Early indication of my bad personality.
Fashion in general -- Clothes shopping has always been extremely aversive to me for whatever reason, it's gotten a little better in recent years, I have been able to exist inside clothes shops for long enough to purchase a small thing or two, but eh. Most of my tops are band t-shirts I bought at gigs, most of my bottoms are exactly identical pairs of jeans, there's just not much going on you know? But unlike with most of the items on this list I would really like to be doing this properly. I would like to wear cuter things with prettier colours and designs. This one's an actual goal. But so far I haven't really made progress. The aforementioned shopping sucks thing, plus a fear of being so aesthetically clueless that I just make myself look like a big idiot if I try anything risky, plus the fact that doing things that are not my established routine is tricky in general--these are barriers for me. I guess another barrier is that the things that would be most interesting to try out and therefore most potentially motivating fall into the wrong-gender-clothes category and therefore bring into play some of the barriers from that other category a few ones up. I did actually somehow get myself to dabble in that area some years ago to a modest but positive degree of satisfaction. It'll probably happen again. The patterns and causes that determine whether I can or cannot find motivation to engage in a thing--they are mysterious indeed.
Like horn implants or whatever other crazy miscellany -- I don't want anything in this category and don't have any non-trivial thoughts about it either. Including this section for completeness only.
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Well, there you have it, that's the post. Now you know a bit more about some of my little weirdsies. If you actually made it through the whole thing, a) how interesting and b) why not tell me a little weirdsy of yours in return, whether it pertains to the above list or not? Why not get all antiphonal on my post, that way I'd get to know a thing about you as well, it might be a whole fun kind of deal. You don't have to though, I didn't make this post to try to snare people into letting themselves be known, I just kind of made it to be a post mostly. I make all sorts of kinds of posts you know? And so I thought I'd try one that's like this.
#selfposting#uninteresting#more uninteresting than average#and a bit too long#and yet putting it in a readmore didn't feel right for some reason; sorry all!#have you ever tried listicle oversharing? it's weirdly freeing
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So if gender is a social construct and female beauty standards are oppressive, what does presenting female even mean? Sorry if this sounds in bad faith but I’m genuinely confused.
nah I getcha. this is going to sound a bit circular but my take on the subject basically consists of the following:
a social construct is defined primarily by the society that constructed it
that said, how one engages with a social construct as an individual is going to vary based on one's own philosophy and preferences, how they want others to see them, etc.
even if you think a social construct is dumb, that doesn't mean it holds no sway over your brain
so from that we can gather that there's sort of... different ways one can think of "presenting as female."
this is a bit reductive, but to provide an example, lets use "the wearing of skirts and pants" as a lens.
depending on the time and place, society might say "men wear pants and women wear skirts"; it might say "men wear pants exclusively (unless they're gay or something), women can wear skirts or pants (but if they only ever wear pants they're probably gay or something)"; it might say "only laborers wear pants, everyone else wears skirts"; or people in that society might not wear pants at all.
let's say you were assigned male at birth in a society where skirts are designated Exclusively For Women. there's several different ways you can engage with that.
wear skirts specifically so that people will understand you are presenting as a woman. (whether they're cool about this or decide to abuse you for it depends on the person, of course.)
avoid wearing skirts, at least in public, so that strangers won't think you're presenting as a woman.
reject the "skirts are for women" attitude altogether and wear skirts while still thinking of yourself as a man.
reject the "skirts are for women" attitude altogether; don't wear skirts, but still think of yourself as a woman.
reject the "skirts are for women" attitude, but present as a woman through other means. e.g., if your society associates long hair or makeup with womanhood, you might grow your hair out and wear makeup, but still avoid wearing skirts just because you don't like them.
deliberately cultivate an appearance deemed "androgynous" via opposed signifiers of gender - for example, wearing skirts but cutting your hair very short.
deliberately cultivate an appearance deemed "androgynous" by minimizing signifiers of gender - for example, if your culture is fine with anyone wearing pants, and it's fine with anyone having their hair in a ponytail, then that's what you'll go with.
cultivate an aesthetic that will be recognized as feminine (or even specifically as transgender!) within certain subcultures, but not others - basically a visual shibboleth.
ignore the whole thing and wear skirts Because They Feel Nice, or wear pants Because You Like How Your Ass Looks In Them, or whatever.
now, in reality, this is all a lot more complicated because there's even more social constructs to keep in mind - race and nationality, religion, flagging as gay, subcultural signifiers, professional signifiers, and so on. all of these inform each other in a way that will also be mediated by your personal feelings on all of it! (for example: I consider myself a lesbian, and more specifically, I want people to read me as butch. how do I navigate that without making people go "oh that's just A Dude"?)
the upshot is - and I realize this might sound a bit glib - "presenting as female is whatever people decide counts as 'presenting as female.'" society as a whole sets the base terms, and then individual people interpret them.
in a hypothetical world where gendered beauty standards didn't exist at all, it would probably be more difficult to "obviously" present as male or female. on the other hand, people are less likely to be shitty about people who present "wrong," because that concept loses some of its meaning.
none of that should be taken to mean that being transgender is "fake" or "meaningless," obviously. a lot of the time, society is basically arbitrary... but we still have to live in it. or, you know, actively reject it, but as mentioned above, that too is a specific choice which is related to our relationship with society.
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Atlantis - Below the surface chapter 1
(The first year of ES's establishment. Early February. The morning after Himemiya Tori had a nightmare—At the ES building; inside Starpro's office.)
Yuzuru: —Sanctuary is closing?
Well, it is what it is... I guess it can't be helped. Mankind wasn't quite ready for that strange amusement park.
Eichi: It's unlike you to rush to conclusions so quickly, Yuzuru.
No, I suppose you were simply speaking your mind. Still, it's unusual to hear you say something like this.
I really like Sanctuary, but it turned out to be quite unpopular in the industry... especially among active idols.
I'm well aware that a considerable amount of people out there would prefer to pretend it doesn't exist in the first place. It seems that you're one of them, Yuzuru.
Nevertheless, I still believe that it's a worthwhile enterprise that will increase the number of idol-related job opportunities and encourage newcomers to enter the industry.
Yuzuru: As I said earlier, Eichi-sama's ideas are too innovative; most people cannot grasp even their core concept.
And, of course, that includes the smug servant standing before you.
Saying this to you, Eichi-sama, may be akin to lecturing the Buddha himself, but people generally avoid the unknown and that which they cannot understand.
Eichi: I wonder whether that will actually be an issue. I'm used to responses like that—Besides, most people will probably keep their mouths shut if Sanctuary actually begins making money.
Profits—immeasurable amounts of money—have the power to dissolve all human reason.
That's why, even though many wise people preached in opposition to it, no one was able to prevent the Great Depression.
It's the same reason why gambling has never fallen out of fashion. Fufu, well, now it sounds like we're talking about Crazy:B instead of fine.
Anyway, there are no plans to close Sanctuary. It hasn't even officially opened yet, after all.
There's no sense in closing it before it has made a return on investment. And it's not as though I've experienced any major issues with it.
Yuzuru: If only you had said that from the beginning. You have been adding unnecessary embellishments to each of your responses.
Eichi: With Wataru absent today on theater business, I've been starved for a conversation partner.
Yuzuru: Did you really call us here simply because you wanted someone to talk to?
Eichi: No, by no means, I'm not that lonely. I have an actual reason.
Thanks to this bad habit of mine, I keep dancing in circles around the subject... But, to begin with, Sanctuary is—
Tori: —Yaaawn... Mm.
Eichi: Tori. You're not acting like yourself today. For you to yawn like that... Is something the matter?
It's quite improper. You've always been so well-behaved around me.
You've been silent this whole time and you seem quite sleepy... Perhaps you didn't sleep well last night?
Tori: Eh!? Aaah, I'm sorry, Eichi-sama! That was super embarrassing!
Eichi: It's alright, because Wataru Number 2—I mean, Yuzuru—was listening to what I had to say.
Yuzuru: I will pretend that I did not hear that unpleasant error.
Eichi: What an exemplary butler.
Tori: I-I'm sorry, Eichi-sama. I haven't gotten much sleep lately because I've been having nightmares.
Yuzuru: Yes. Bocchama awoke me quite late last night... And then he clung to my chest and cried like a little baby.
Tori: Hey, can you stop telling stupid lies? You know I'd never do something that embarrassing, right, Eichi-sama!?
Yuzuru: Forgive my impertinence. I was relaying the contents of my own dream.
Tori: Don't have dreams like that! Groooss! Super gross!
Yuzuru: Fufu. Even I am unable to control the contents of my own dreams.
Eichi: This all sounds very interesting. Are you familiar with the art of dream interpretation?
Tori: D-Don't fall for it, Eichi-sama! I feel like if you dig any deeper into Yuzuru's dream, something scary is gonna happen!
Eichi: It's not my intention to ignore your request by elaborating on the subject, but it's been said that a person's heart is laid bare in their dreams. Well, there's probably no real basis to those beliefs, though.
By projecting a favorable interpretation onto someone's dream, you can lighten their spirit, even if only slightly. That's one of the selling points of fortune telling.
Getting to feel better without medication—that's a good deal, isn't it? So, as long as it's alright with you, why not tell me about the dream you had?
Tori: I mean—no matter what, dreams are just dreams. You usually forget them as soon as you wake up.
Well... In my dream, I felt like I was sinking endlessly to the bottom of the sea.
It was just a dream, but it was so painful and cold—and way too dark to see anything. It was really scary.
Eichi: The sea? Hm, this is quite the strange coincidence.
Yuzuru: What do you mean?
Eichi: To be honest, it's probably hasty of me to tell you this now, but—There are plans in the works to build something akin to a second Sanctuary.
That's why I called the two of you here today—I wanted to talk to you about it.
Yuzuru: A second Sanctuary? Eichi-sama, is it your intention to create another bizarre amusement park?
Eichi: Yes. And I plan to build this amusement park under the sea.
#ensemble stars#enstars#enstars translation#tori himemiya#yuzuru fushimi#eichi tenshouin#atlantis#enstars: atlantis#enstars fine
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You re-sharing your pinned post reminded me that Taylor and Aaron had done a bunch of writing at the very least for Midnights that got scrapped (or possibly pushed back?) and what we got on Midnights...was the subject of your post and Renegade. TTPD Anthology has the same really heavy stuff from her past littered everywhere as well. thanK you aIMee, Cassandra, The Manuscript, The Bolter, etc. all fit that theme that was just so heavily on the past that it could have been revisited works from a time when she didn't want to touch it yet because of what it said.
I think this is really interesting!
(I hope you don't mind me posting this publicly as I don't often do that and also never see my inbox unless I'm on a computer, but it really gave me food for thought.)
Obviously we have no way of actually knowing this, but I always felt like Would've Could've Should've was so important to the narrative of what became Midnights, and then when we found out that it was actually one of the *first* songs she wrote, months before Midnights was even a fleshed-out concept, it kind of reinforced to me that whatever she unleashed in that song kind of opened the floodgates for a whole other facet of her songwriting. (I've said many times that I think WCS is going to turn out to be one of the blueprints of her discography thematically, not unlike All Too Well. I think The Manuscript is going to be another one.)
Which is not to say she didn't write deeply moving, painfully honest songs before obviously, but I think the honesty to which she delved into that experience (and trauma) really paved the way to broach the themes on Midnights, and most certainly to the raw emotion we got on TTPD. I wouldn't be surprised if WCS maybe even informed the concept of the "sleepless nights" of Midnights, because a song like that could certainly make you think of other experiences that have marked you.
Obviously we have no way of knowing this, but there are kernels of WCS in sooooooo much of her work, and at least musically, it feels like opening up about that experience has helped her open up about others. It's glaringly obvious on TTPD too (Smallest Man, Clara Bow, The Manuscript, pretty much all of The Anthology in some way etc.) and it's even been fascinating seeing how she's used it on tour (e.g. mashed up with ivy) and how she's also reframed her existing songs in other ways. Much like how the rerecordings seemed to have also unlocked some new perspectives and feelings, I think the Midnights/3am/Vault music has unearthed a new level of understanding of herself and her music.
The Anthology really does feel like a sequel of sorts to the 3am tracks on Midnights to me in many ways. I think I said it in that post that the standard Midnights album might have been the things that kept her up at night, but the 3am tracks felt like the things that kept haunting her when she was awake and the fallout from those experiences. The Anthology feels like those themes finally coming home to roost. Sometimes in clarity, sometimes in anger, sometimes in grief, sometimes even in gratitude.
I don't know if these were concepts she'd been mulling before Midnights (I'm assuming they were actually written after, as she said), but I wouldn't be surprised if she had been mulling the themes/experiences during that time and when she kept writing after Midnights went into production, revisited them as they felt salient to her.
Thanks for this!
#the tortured poets department#midnights#midnights 3am edition#writing letters addressed to the fire#asks#replies
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Snow Crash review
3/5 stars
Recommended if you like: hard sci-fi, dystopian sci-fi, tech bros, sword fighting, VR
TW statutory rape
So...let's have this be the last time I'm fooled by pretty colors and Sumerian cuneiform (also the last time I take a book recommendation from another book). This book and I did not get off to a good start, what with it opening with a million random words thrown together with exposition on what those words meant. Then I got used to it, then Stephenson had to bring in the anthropology and linguistics.
Now, normally I love seeing those things in books. I love both of those subjects and studied them in college and on my own time. That being said, Snow Crash is like if a tech bro was court mandated to take linguistics 101 and anthropology 101, only paid attention 33% of the time, then retold his tech bro buddies all about ancient civilization and ancient languages after having a couple of beers. This is, perhaps, a bit mean, because Stephenson does get some of it right. But then he goes off the rails and while I understand this is sci-fi....well, the basic facts are just plain wrong. Go off, but at least base it in fact.
A slight rant, so perhaps skip these next two paragraphs if you don't want to read about me complaining about linguistics and anthropology more, I'll try to make it brief. Stephenson was off to a good start talking about Sumer and Sumerian religion, he actually stays pretty on track with Sumerian religion, interestingly enough, but then he goes and starts talking about how Sumer was stagnant and yet somehow everyone spoke Sumerian and how me dragged Sumerians out of cave-man-hood.....except, Sumerian wasn't the first language. It's just the oldest language we have written attestation for. People could speak, and were modern humans, well before Sumer became a thing. Hell, Akkadian and and some form of Proto-Old-Chinese (among others) were both spoken at that time, the Sumerians just got to writing first. (and let's not even get into the "cave man" concept)
Further, Sumerian didn't just magically vanish, what happened was a series of smaller and larger civilization collapses caused by a whole host of factors, through which Sumerian gradually went from being the predominately spoken language of the area to a language spoken almost solely religiously due to the influx of newcomers and conquerors to the region combined with certain conquering dynasties forcibly migrating native Sumerians to the outskirts of the empire (where they had to interact with the natives there, who definitely did not speak their language) and bringing other cultural, linguistic, and ethnic groups into the traditional Sumerian heartland. Also, more minor, but there were not "tens of thousands" of languages being spoken in the 1980s. We have approximately 7000 languages today and while we are losing languages at a rapid rate, we are not losing them that quickly. Language, and by some extension culture, was the whole basis of this book and Stephenson just got so much of that basis wrong that, while I enjoyed a decent portion of it, I just couldn't get over the incorrectness of it,
Okay, back to the regularly scheduled programming. As far as plot goes, it was actually pretty interesting following Hiro and Y.T. as they got tangled up in web after web of this conspiracy. There were so many moving parts that seemed disparate from one another and yet somehow connected, and I really enjoyed seeing how it all came together. I liked how things built up and I think the showdown with Hiro gets a good climax, but stuff in the real world fell a little flat. I would've liked to have a firmer resolution with things, even if it left some things open ended. As is, it just feels like a let down.
Hiro was a hard character to get into. He's just kind of there for the beginning part of the book, a problem which is compounded by the sheer amount of lingo and information being dumped on readers at the beginning of the book. He turns out to actually be a pretty chill dude later on and even when he was confused, he at least seemed to grasp things quickly, so there wasn't too much just standing around and questioning things.
Y.T. was a bit easier to like from the get-go, though her lingo is just as confusing as Hiro's. 15 definitely seems young to be doing a lot of the things she's doing, and while I know her mom works long hours for the Feds, I'm surprised she has 0 clue what her daughter is doing. I liked Y.T.'s spunk and tenacity. She could get freaked out at times, but she was a go-getter and immediately jumped into doing anything she was interested in or thought would help.
While I did spend a good portion of this review complaining about the technical linguistic and anthropological side of the book, I did enjoy some of the book. The problem is, is that combined with the factual problems, the book reads too much like your stereotypical hard sci-fi that's easy to make fun of because the authors are using a gazillion weird words to enforce the 'futuristic' idea. Things like "franchulate" I can see where it comes from; 'Kouriers' are on thin ice, but whatever, they're trademarked; but there was a lot of stuff that I thought was just unnecessarily in "sci-fi lingo." All of this put together, plus the very ending of the book, reduced my overall enjoyability.
#book#book review#books#bookstagram#booklr#bookblr#bookaholic#bookish#snow crash#neal stephenson#scifi book#scifi#hard sci fi#hard science fiction
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hey! i just wanted to ask what were some of the things that encouraged you the most while first starting out with esperanto? i really like the language, have found some cool esperanto music i vibe with a lot, and overall just find the whole concept really fun and interesting. but i currently don't have too many people in my life to really share it with. i don't feel like telling my parents about it since i feel like they'd dismiss it as a waste of time (i've seen "it helps you learn other languages" as one reason to study it, but since i'm already fluent in some foreign languages, my parents might feel like "but you're already capable of learning languages" and discourage it). and it's not something my current friends are interested in. thanks in advance for any insight, i appreciate it.
Well anon, my experience was a little bit different from yours I believe.
I actually don't really remember how I found the language but thankfully my parents were quite supportive. In fact I have two physical books about Esperanto which my parents bought.
It's quite sad to me that your parents would dismiss a hobby of yours specially one that can have actual use.
I don't really know how to help with your parents. I don't know what they will support or don't. In the friends category I was a bit of the same as you. IRL people didn't particularly care enough.
What I did was talk with foreign language teachers I had about it. It was an interesting experience I believe — most of the teachers knew vaguely what Esperanto was only because it almost was European Union's language for communication, which in the end did not happen for capitalism reasons as it's usually the case. So they found it funny or confusing (because they thought the language was dead) but the fact that at least someone else had heard about it made me a bit happy.
Also you can always use Esperanto as the subject for a school assignment. I did it for English I believe :P
Wait, actually. I had a grandma of a friend of mine who spoke Esperanto. Which was wild haha
I think that unfortunately most of your interaction about Esperanto will be online unless you use Amikumo. You could try search for the Esperanto association in your country! They might have books and they almost certainly will have esoerantists.
Hopefully yours is better than the one in my country which did not respond to any emails sent by my family 😐
For reason to learn there are plenty. I have mentioned a lot of them before but you can learn Esperanto out of spite.
"Esperanto was banned my Nazi Germany so look at me speaking it!" (Yes, Nazi Germany did really ban esperanto because it could be used to have "secret conversations other can't understand")
Esperanto, despite being a fairly easy language to learn, is unfortunately not a easy language to sell to others. Outsiders most likely don't know it and assume it doesn't have any function (when has a language not served for any purpose?) or will say it's all some idealist nonsense.
Language nerds might like to learn it but even then you'll find conlang people who are too interested in making drama about which conlang you're learning instead of actually focusing on practical scenarios (Esperanto is still easy, Esperanto is the biggest conlang in the world. If you are learning a conlang for functional purposes than Esperanto will be your first choice). There's a reason why get people asking what's my opinion on Toki Pona. They're most likely waiting for me to say I hate it just so they can start having discourse about it.
But the media really was what made Esperanto cool. You have movies, music, books all in Esoeranto. There's even an anime that has music in Esperanto (it's called Patema inverted)
youtube
Having something you connect with is always going to be what moves you forward so I think a bit of exploration on your part might help you. Go looking for stuff that is in Esperanto that you might like! Heck, play Minecraft in Esperanto! Or put your Firefox in Esperanto for a bit if you feel like it! Yes, those are language options available for both.
Also a bit of a funny story about me putting my Firefox in Esperanto then putting in back in Portuguese.
Now everything is in Portuguese except for one menu option which for some reason remains in Esperanto.
Concluding because I've been rambling this whole answer: Try contacting your country's Esperanto association if you want to talk with people IRL, find media in Esperanto you enjoy, go to r/esperanto on Reddit, if you're in school try making an assignment about it (and maybe you could talk about esperanto to your parents if you're using it for school?), and don't focus too much on the people trying to discourage you from learning something that on my opinion has 0 downsides to it.
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This is one of those "ranting so maybe I'll sleep and stop spilling salt on other people's posts" post, and I'm also setting out on a dean hunt tomorrow which is unnerving, but I guess I have thoughts about episodes that are 1-16 years old.
I'm not going to link that lovely gifset of the Masters talking about being a/the Doctor because I don't like to associate my negativity with other people's hard work, but damn if that didn't leave me gritting my teeth. Not the gifset, of course, just the idea that this is somehow a logical development.
I have ranted way too many times about how there's nothing logical whatsoever about POTD, but really, this isn't the case of a good idea poorly executed, this is the case of the author not understanding what his idea even is. This wasn't supposed to be just a body swap (which would have been SO GOOD, just imagine Whittaker and Dhawan having an occasion for acting tour de forces, imagine Yaz having to say all that sanctimonious stuff about the Doctor having people who love her in the face of the woman she loves rather than a guy who left her on a crashing plane, imagine Whittaker!Master exposing all of Yaz's feelings and mocking her with infos about all the previous companions left behind, something the Master explicitly plays at in the episode, but it wasn't pulled to its full potential, damn it's like Chibs was actively avoiding good ideas!), this was supposed to be the Master somehow becoming everything the Doctor is. And the effect is so so so bloody empty? Like, my first thought was, huh, so will this be about how the same experiences do not shape the same people? As in, now that the Master knows all the pain the Doctor went through, but also the wonder and the beauty, and yes, also their ongoing affection for him, he'll still choose to be evil? Kinda pessimistic, but interesting. Then the episode started pushing the idea that the companions make the Doctor who they are, and my interpretation... could still work, but there the message becomes somewhat messier - again, if the love of people around the Doctor made them who they are, then shouldn't those experiences affect or at least be acknowledged by the Master?
And then I had an oh. right. moment as I realised none of this was thought of - the Master simply doesn't have the Doctor's memories or else he would know who Fugitive!Doctor is. So, what exactly happened in that episode? Genuine question, because the episode sure acts like there was some subjective difference for the Master? Damn, it's just so empty.
I don't think there's much to say about Missy's scene, because it oozes irony, which is great and badly needed, but I might as well commit sacrilege and say I never understood the Doctor's logic in putting the have you thought about the fact that you'll die into his speech, like which one is it: be kind without witness or reward, to thy own self be true or remember thou art mortal?
Which leaves me with the Saxon introduction. And look, I understand it's tiresome when people pander to RTD and I'm not saying his era is flawless but it does do one thing later eras avoid: it doesn't tell you what to think. With his writing, I feel like interpretation is really an act of communication, rather than explanation of a thesis. There just plain is no preaching. And the Master isn't there to tell me stuff about the Doctor, he's there on his own terms. He's not trying to aggrevate the Doctor when he uses the title, he doesn't even know he's there for his election speech. No, he's there to act as proper dark mirror, to show how all of that genius can be used for evil, to be the baddie Doctor. He doesn't aspire to be the Doctor, he's already in the process of "saving" humanity by bringing the Toclafane over with a paradox. This is a gortesque parody of the whole concept of sustaining life! The Toclafane are humanity cannibalising itself, just as the Master will in EoT, exposing the darkness of maintaininig existence at all costs. At this point in the writing the Master isn't just defined by the Doctor, he defines him in return in a beautiful dialectic dalliance, keep in mind this trilogy is when we find up just how fucked up changing history is, this is what the Doctor holds against the Master, it's not "but you're killing people :(", it's "but you're changing history"! I know the tempation of reading the Wonder what I'd be without you in a purely shippy way, but ffs let it not cloud the fact that this is post-TLV Doctor talking, he knows the villain he could have been IF HE DIDN'T HAVE SOMEONE TO DEFINE HIMSELF AGAINST ALL THIS TIME.
Since I'm venting I might as well say this: this "development" is why I would really prefer the show to take a break from the Master for a while. Yes, a cameo in the 60th would be great, but until the show has a need for THE MASTER rather than A DIFFERENT TIME LORD TO EXPLAIN WHY THE DOCTOR IS AWESOME, idk, just resurrect the War Chief or sth.
This isn't just about sentiments, this is about two completely different perspectives on the universe. Let that ring out again.
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Griffin and Darcy headcanons?
I don't have many since most of their interactions take place off-screen both on the show and in my fics. Plus, Darcy doesn't know that Griffin is her mother and Griffin can't reveal the truth to her.
The planet that they come from - Erebhus - is where the golden eyes gene originated. Everyone who has Erebhusian genes has golden eyes, which means that Stella and Diaspro also have a small percentage Erebhusian genes in their DNA. However, Griffin and Darcy's half Erebhusian genetic makeup affects their hair color as well. Erebhus is a very sunny planet where even the nights are relatively bright. Due to the exposure to light most Erebhusians' hair tends to be in very light shades. However, as soon as they stop being exposed to so much sunlight, their hair color darkens. That's why Darcy and Griffin's hair colors can change drastically depending on where they're currently living and how much sunlight they're exposed to.
Griffin dreads the moment when other people will learn that she's Darcy's mother. Motherhood as a concept in society comes with a lot of baggage and she can already feel the judgment that will be hurled her way from people that have zero understanding of the situation that she was in. The thing that truly bothers her, however, is the fact that she herself hasn't really made her peace with what happened. Yes, she knew there was nothing else to do but she still holds resentment for herself for creating the situation in the first place. She doesn't really view herself as Darcy's mother since she didn't raise her. She just gave birth to her. And she's afraid of how Darcy will come to perceive the whole thing, especially if she hears other people's - uninformed - opinions. She doesn't want Darcy to suffer if she thinks that Griffin didn't want her.
Darcy is an extrovert to differ from Griffin, who is an introvert. It causes her to process her emotions in a different way, which in turn reflects on her magic and could sometimes make it hard for Griffin's teaching techniques to reach her. It shouldn't be a problem since many of Griffin's students are extroverts and she has had to develop different approaches of teaching to accommodate everyone. However, Darcy is very similar to her in other ways and, ironically, that makes the extrovert/introvert difference stick out way more and get in the way. Ediltrude and Zarathustra have a much easier time teaching Darcy than Griffin does sometimes.
That being said, Griffin's lessons were a life-saver for Darcy. (I have a feeling I'm repeating myself about this particular point so bear with me if that's the case.) Darcy finds it easier to push her magic out through her eyes at first but that quickly strains them and also gives her a headache. Griffin teaches her to minimize that effect by manipulating the tangibility of her own magic so that it has an easier time passing through the delicate tissues in her eyes and won't hurt her anymore. Plus, she helps her learn to channel her powers just as effectively through her hands.
Darcy prefers to be around living things even if those are animals. Her psychic magic only works on living organisms and she feels better when there are some animals or unsuspecting people around her that she could brainwash and weaponize in case she has to fight an enemy that is resistant to her psychic powers. Griffin's magic, on the other hand, works almost exclusively on non-living or dead things and she tries to develop Darcy's darkness powers more so that Darcy can rely on herself in battle. It has made Darcy feel like Griffin either dislikes her psychic powers because she thinks they're a weakness or that she's passing moral judgment for subjecting innocent organisms to mind control.
Darcy was thrilled when she came to study at CT because the castle was mostly wrapped in clouds and there was a lot of darkness even during the day. Growing up on Erebhus - one of the sunniest planets along with Solaria - with her powers was sometimes a challenge. There was way too much light and that made her powers weaker. CT's darkness not only boosts her magic, but also has a positive effect on her circadian rhythms. Griffin is glad that Darcy has finally found an environment where she could thrive but she thought it best when she had Darcy to leave her back on Erebhus because there her eye color wouldn't stick out. She was just another orphaned child and it was safest for her to be there since no one had a reason to believe that Griffin had had a baby. Plus, Griffin didn't know Darcy would develop powers of darkness back then.
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DRS: Izuru Kamukura
going to watch Izuru's now, autistic boyfriend Monday
not really surprised if he has that type of fans (in universe), I love the concept of ultimates being celebs tbh, also the fact that he saved her from falling, looking from the lense of: sparing her the embarrassment is a thing worth bothering to him
so true, king
the way he doesn't let Leon change the subject and calls out the avoidance I could kiss him, strong Kokichi telling off his class for "hiding behind the word trust" vibes, also kudos to Chihiro for facing the accusations head on, admitting to personal failings and working not to-
-repeat them. Such an amazing lesson, if only- haha, if only there was (I am spiraling about v3 don't mind me, Kokichi could really thrive in any other class)
Togami's interaction is interesting too, is he upset that Izuru didn't have to earn his talent? He says it in a way that implies that he's better for having worked to earn his status, but still
and it's this comment that makes Izuru consider Togami's scouting offer, because to him "Not that you'd understand" means he could maybe experience something new
Kinda interested in seeing more of how Himiko is in this game, she was talking way more like an entertainer than somebody convinced they are a mage here. Like a professional trying to be inspiring?
Sayaka: *blushing* I didn't expect you to compliment me Izuru: You're saying that it's not like me to compliment people? You think I couldn't truly mean it? Is that it? Like, dude, you're scaring the hoes.
okay, so Sonia gets some big sister-ly instinct around him, Komaeda is DTF (and mr. benefits of conversation are neglible but I stayed and conversed with Komaeda anyway might be too), it's once again (after Togami's event) implied that he has time until graduation to start doing-
- something with himself and the way it's said is like he's not going to have a choice? Hope's Peak is letting him do whatever as long as he's a student and then what?
way to ruin the moment
rely on Gonta to find something positive even in Izuru's indifference, he doesn't have likes or dislikes for bugs, great, he doesn't hate any bug which is rare
Kirumi being an experienced gamer because of a past employer isn't what I expected but ok
Gundham basically said "Why do you not have a pet when you very well could have, you heartless bastard?" The only thing notable about the festival is that Maki played along with his improv and was smiling
Kaede: you don't use that power for anything bad
Izuru: just because I don't have a reason rn
Kaede: *playing with hair* haha yeah, if you find one tell me about it
she's a freak
those two
Kuzuryu solidifying my concerns saying he could help him escape HPA and that it feels like he's in shackles there, like *what are they going to do to him once he graduates??*
I feel like we we're held at an arms length, a distance he likes to keep with everyone, so the details of the whole shady deal with HPA were left out, but he ended up catching "a glimpse of something unpredictable" and it was enough for him to write a song and find his hope so
that's cool I guess, Kaede and Ibuki were happy at least, and I am wondering if it's really the only time he caved in to a request, technically he did fight some of the beasts after ignoring Togami asking about this
First posted on December 27, 2021 (twitter) Detailed notes below:
"This is gonna be boring" Ok.
1st event: Mahiru & Mikan
saved Mikan from falling, "It's nothing"
he has obsessive fans?
sparing Mikan the embarrassment of falling is worth bothering to him
almost nobody outside the academy is aware of his existence
2nd event: (With Swimsuits)
Kaede & Mukuro try to scold him for diving the whole day
it doesn't work
he likes the quiet
3rd event: Chihiro & Leon
trust no one, "Friendship is one hell of a drug"
doesn't let Leon change the subject or go easy on Chihiro
Chihiro admits to personal failings and works not to repeat them
4th event: Togami
obliterating the beasts on the islands isn't worth the effort
Togami wants to scout him
he had to work for his talent and Izuru didn't
apparently Taka, the Moral Compass, is on Izuru's ass about effort, lol
if he doesn't find the motivation in himself by the end of this trip, he'll work for Togami
5th event: Himiko
she can claim to be a mage, but she's a real entertainer
also calling him out for never trying to make people happy
6th event: Sayaka
"It's not like you to work toward a goal, or because you want to better yourself... But quietly keeping things in order... that definitely fits my image of you"
"I have no goals"
Potential of Talent:
-No matter what happens, I am hope. (Sonia)
"predeterminated fate"
"you could talk to me" (a bit of an older sister instinct)
-My potential is infinite. (Komaeda)
DTF, possibly both of them, considering Mr. "benefits of conversation are neglible" stayed
-If I were to stray from my expected course... (Leon)
it's not like he could pursue something that isn't his talent the way Leon can
his only other option is to slack off (and only until he graduates)
7th event: Komaeda & Hoshi
what do you mean "from what you know about Ryoma it can be tough for him to be surrounded by strangers"? ref to prison ig
Hoshi: excited to be in a movie theater; Komaeda: excited to watch a movie with friends; Izuru: eh.
8th event: Monokuma
"Nothing matters to you. It's all predeterminated harmony anyway" ref. to hope/despair balance
9th event: Gonta
he told Gonta about a good spot for finding bugs and what bugs he found
Izuru: idc; Gonta: great, you don't hate bugs, I will befriend you so hard
10th event: Kirumi & Chiaki
he's been playing with Chiaki as a duo for a while, but they want Kirumi to help with a quest bc system rewards bigger teams
Kirumi has experience with all types of games bc of a previous employer
11th event: Hiyoko
proof she doesn't act like that for reactions, she's just rude
12th event: Gundham
Gundham: Why do you not have a pet when you could, you heartless bastard? basically
Summer Festival: (performing Monotaro, the show is nearing its climax)
-I'll let Monotaro slay me, and exit the stage. (Peko)
-I'll work with Demon A who seems quite agile. (he's demon D, A is Maki) she plays along, smiling
-Demon B is just watching - I'll drag him out. (Komaeda)
Campfire:
-What do you need, Kaede?
"I'm guessing you already know", "I wanna see your smile"
is being so nice that it looks like she's hitting on you her default?
-I'm accustomed to spending time without goals. (Gundham)
"Your barrier is impressive"
-The Decision to leave one's home behind... (Kuzuryu)
"I could help you escape from HPA"
to use me? Nah, do whatever you want
"it feels like you're in shackles"
My Future: Ibuki & Kaede
once again, all he wanted was some quiet, alas no luck
he has criticism about their show earlier that day, but when asked how he personally felt, he says "I completed a song" like it's normal that he just pulled a song out of his ass in a moment of inspiration
"I caught a glimpse of something unpredictable"
he caved!
This is the last one I had done on Twitter, so the format will change after this, no more going over the same things twice.
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wang yi gets surgical i guess
author says slime takes on human form next chapter so that should be nice! let's go
ch 95: you knew after opening your eyes
so cute S-0 going on about the Daily Mission of the novel (this is such a memeable image)
anyways, wang yi's daily mission involves:
going crazy at the male lead
going crazy at the female lead
going crazy at everyone else
as well as researching experimental organisms (finally, lab safety 101)
meanwhile the poor slime's all (⺣ﻌ⺣) uwahhh i like my human. even though he wants to cut up this body and it hurts, i still like him~ as long as it makes him happy.
apparently it was just a nameless black blob in the universe until it gained sentience somehow and opened its eyes to realize it really really wanted to cling to a "certain person"
to him all humans look the same, so he had to look for the right one by checking out their souls and etc, which is how he didn't recognize wang yi until viewing the latter's memories
slime is going "if not for the fact that i like you i'd eat you by now"
"but since he's the human i like...it's okay"
meanwhile wang yi is observing how the inside and outside of the slime are identical and so it doesn't have a heart
X agrees that it has no heart, so it shouldn't even have a concept of "like" that only humans possess, so why is it still so "obsessed" with its human?
wang yi smooshes the slime bit on its finger which hurts the slime a lot, and it gets to wondering: can you see how much i like you? can't you feel it at all?
S-0 is looking at this and going, "host you seem to be...overdoing it. it's all broken up now"
wang yi's like "it's not too bad right? i completed the mission and all?"
S-0's like "yeah the whole lab thinks dr. wang's some lunatic by now"
(specifically like the sadistic megane in kichiku megane an adult visual novel which..lol what a comparison)
anyways wang yi tells S-0 to go on ahead while he cleans up the lab space and S-0 struts off all happy because he found yet another cute kitty to play with (me: who keeps cats in an underground research facility?!)
meanwhile wang yi's like "this slime's pretty cute when it's not attacking my consciousness" and the slime blushes going "he complimented me?" u///u
meanwhile the rogue bit of slime running around the lab is devouring other experimental subjects while wang yi notices his own slime..seems bigger than before
and the slime gets alarmed b/c its split-body devoured something not so great so it's going.... (explode???) anyways it's expanding in the case uh-oh and telling wang yi to get out of the way, but ofc he can't hear/understand it
well next chapter should be exciting
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HOW’S MY PORTRAYAL?
your portrayal is kind of actually amazing? i WILL admit i havent read most of the comics but tangle is just SO GOOD and SO MUCH FUN! just super bouncy and joyful while also having her moments here and there whenever something happens because who doesn't. and surge feels SO REAL.
EVERY STRUGGLE SHE HAS, FROM FOOD TO HAVING HER FRIENDS FIND OUT ABOUT HER REAL SELF TO HER BOY PROBLEMS WITH JET TO HER REALLY BAD FLIRTING ATTEMPTS WITH BAPHO
its so cute it's ADORABLE i LOVE IT i LOVE READING IT
i love your amy being snarky (this is from the little ive seen her) i love your tails being a SMUG JERK (it's SO FUNNY) i love jewel being slightly timid but overall well defined and belle is super duper great to see with her own problems and how she overcomes and whatnot it's all so AMAZING to see
and i know this isn't the right blog but your lilac and milla are downright INCREDIBLE??? you just understand those characters like no other and it's genuinely impressive to see how fast you latched onto those two and made them your own i love it i love it i love it
ten out of ten i have nothing but PRAISE for your portrayals!!!!!! you keep busting out bangers and it's awesome and i hope to continue seeing you on my dash!!!!!!!!!
" This means alot! i will say my Tangle i think is a big departure from Canon as Canon Tangle is a bit one note at times. They just haven't got to flesh her out at all, but that's really more an issue with Sonic characters as a whole. So that's what i do! i try to flesh characters out, give them backstories and make them feel more real well as real as a furry alien creature can be!
Honestly before i started to interact with carol i had no idea what to do with Surge. So alot of her development is thanks to you! so i don't think i can take all the credit. Carol has really helped push her in just the right direction and really set her on a redemption arc which i always swore i'd never do! but its been a load of fun and i'm just gonna keep the ball rolling as its really made me love her character even more!
When it comes to Amy and Tails... that's more just me disliking how Sega has portrayed them. Amy is ALOT better in IDW but when i started to write her i decided i didn't want sweet soft Amy! but someone who lost that side of her because of War, and the things she's lost! she's got alot of fun backstory to! such as her power being strictly magical, and her being a sort of magical girl trope! mixed with traditional Witch/Wicca concepts! and Tails was honestly me going " but what if Tails was a snarky cunt like Sonic " and when you think about it---he probably is. Sonic did raise him after all!
as for Lilac i'm still really getting a feel for her, but i really did click with Milla. She has alot of potential and i wanna explore her being a creation of brevon alot more! but that probably means diving into some really dark subjects for such a bright sunny character! so i'm gonna do it but---oh boy batten down the hatches cause that is gonna be a rocky plotline! me torture my muses HAHAH never! as for Lilac, i got plans--- things to make you cry! just need to spend more time on that blog! but its coming! "
" Well enough of me rambling! Thanks again! i really do appreciate it! this makes me feel alot more confident going forward! "
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To the player anon,
Related to this ask.
First of all, thank you anon for sending this ask and giving your perspective as a player/fan. Honestly, I did think about including some of your points in my original answer. But I've already made a whole post about those points (and so have other IF authors) that I repost often.
Even if that anon followed all those points you (and other people have) made about marketing, taking their time, improving their writing*, etc... it doesn't mean that they will see their numbers go up or that their feelings towards other IF creators would change (that they would stop comparing themselves to those creators). That's why I tried to focus on that point then. You can't control how other see/interact with your work, but you can with your feelings.
*good writing is still subjective though. Sure, you have the grammar/typo issues, but if we are talking writing style then no, it's subjective. Victor Hugo is considered a master of writing, but damn his stuff is boring as HELL.
Since the author was also in anon, I didn't want to make assumptions on their project, how far they are on it, how much they published, how they handled the promotion/interactions, how they write, who they follow or which author/project they were referring to. I also didn't want to discourage them by basing my advice on those assumptions. For all I know, they could be doing everything right but still not get any traffic/interaction !
I've been doubting whether to post your ask or not pretty much since I got it. While you did have some interesting and correct points, I've been a bit afraid your tone could make some new creators... err... discouraged.
Also have some random thoughts about some points raised (not targeted at you anon, just in general) or tangents that started there, but this is getting long already so post break! [It's a bit of a mishmash ramble, and using you (as in you should) like one (one should). ]
I know the Tumblr/CoG crowd is all about Romance taking a centre stage, but damn, give some love to other genres too! There are so many fun concepts that shouldn't have to have any form of romance to get the attention of readers. I'm not trying to shit on the Romance genre, I mean two of my games are either super Romance or Romance adjacent, but I'd just love to see more IF where there is no Romance, that's all. Try reading something new :)
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I understand readers can feel frustrated when a project they like go on sudden hiatus or do not get consistent progress updates. You enjoy the author's writing and concept and would like to read more of it. But IRL will affect every one, and should ALWAYS take precedence when things are not cool. No reason nor an update should be needed for that.
Related to this, I've seen many authors apologising every time they take a break, or they weren't able to make progress on their projects, or having to pause everything for a while, or just need some time off period. And it makes me so sad that they feel like they have to apologise for this, or have to explain themselves when they come back.
There shouldn't be so much pressure on their shoulders about this or expectations either. Like 99% of IF projects promoted on Tumblr are there for free, for the enjoyment of everyone. Why so much pressure on something that should be created for fun? People creating stuff as just a hobby really shouldn't have to apologise for all this stuff.
It's not a job, damn... they don't have quarterly goals to meet!
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Spearing of expectations, the landscape of IF has changed a lot since some of the more popular games started. You have a lot more projects popping up every day than a few years ago. It is much harder to get noticed and keep your following than before. Not in terms of updating the game or posting about your progress, but also interacting with readers more often, answering more asks, doing more prompts... keeping readers entertained so they don't forget you.
And from a creator's perspective, it sometimes feels like you have to choose between what's trendy/what people want and what you want to do.
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ALSO We seem to be holding creators to a much higher standard than actual game companies. Everyone is having like 5-6 hats that usually are done by 5-6 actual employees. Same with design of the UI. There are some god awful scaling on mobile from huge company websites.
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I've been trying to write and re-write this second to be clear, but damn there's a lot. it is also more rambly than the rest
I have to disagree with you on player not being able to give feedback to IF creators. Lots of feedback is being sent out there, whether the author wants it or likes what is written. Again, we are mainly dealing with people who create stuff as a hobby. Still, I do believe most authors are open to or welcome feedback. Some have forms you can submit issues, and others even have Beta Rounds especially to get feedback!
And, as players are allowed to give their opinions, authors should be allowed to have boundaries on the type of feedback they receive, the place they receive it or the way it is sent. If they indicate they don't want unsolicited feedback, just don't give it...
And nothing can stop them from responding the way they want to (though I must note I do not condone every response to feedback ever made obviously, some ways of responding are def not it) but themselves.
I think my main problem is people giving feedback but not realising it is an opinion and not feedback (or in an asshole manner). I've seen more and more readers pretty much demand certain topics to be included, certain characters to be changed (gender/sexuality/etc...), etc... because it doesn't fit their canon in their mind, even getting nasty/vitriolic about it, but phrasing it as feedback. That's obviously not ok... And yet, it bears repeating because it still fucking happens.
Or readers having actual good feedback that might warrant a conversation, but just burst in the author's inbox and get all feisty and aggro about it. There are ways to get your point across without being a huge dick. You don't need to be extra careful to not hurt the author's feeling and wrapping your comments with soft blankets or whatever.... but you also don't have be a dick.
Obviously, you can have critical and important feedback about harmful portrayals of characters or topics brushed aside by some authors. But that's another can of worm I don't think I am equipped or knowledgeable to talk about. But there are plenty of other authors/readers have been more eloquent on the subject than I could ever be.
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Make IF weird again honestly.
That's it. just that.
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