#no it’s not everyone but no one better get weird cause im tired | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

captainsboonie · 2 months

Text

Allergies

words: 3961

Warnings: Implied sexual content, hormones (oh god hormones!!!!!!!)

Additional tags: reader is a sergeant, a/b/o dynamics, pack dynamics, scenting, omega!reader, alpha!price, no y/n used, kneeling-aftercare not sex-aftercare, john price is a BIG man, reader is very sad and stressed but doesnt realize it :(, uncomfortable leather couches = best kneeling session ever, readers hormones go wild cuz of scent blockers

Summary: It was becoming such an issue that it interfered with your job and your abilities. You couldn’t do your paperwork if an Alpha had brought you the papers, as it would end in you having to evacuate the room to not disturb the other people working with your wheezing. If an Alpha had cleaned your gun in the weaponry, you couldn’t use it until it was fully cleaned and reassembled again by a Beta. It was getting worse and worse throughout the weeks, and honestly, it was stressing you out. You might lose your rank, or even your job, for this.

After suddenly getting very sensitive and reactive to scents, a lone Sergeant is in desperate need of help. Captain John Price, as it happens, had her on his list for possible recruits for the 141. Losing a possible member was not ideal to him - so he decides to help out.

notes: this literally took all my motivation thats ever existed. i dont know why. just eight pages of pure suffering is what this is (also havent i used a yellow color for the summary text before? or is it the same as the orange??? where'd yellow go). its 01:14 so if beta read is bad its just cause im tired

You’ve gotten allergic to certain scents.

Or, that’s the only reasonable explanation for your current suffering, anyway. That, or you accidentally breathed in or consumed some weird chemical on a mission that was fucking your sense of smell up. You doubted both former and latter, but at this point, you were desperate for answers.

Being an Omega wasn’t so bad. However, being an Omega while living in the same building as an uncountable amount of military Alphas, was worse. Everything about them stunk. Wherever you went, that musty smell of dominance coated everything: walls, tables, chairs, rugs, the toilet paper, and even the cutlery. Just raising a fork to your mouth was enough for your brain to short-circuit, making you drop the fork on the plate which was loud – so loud that everyone turned their heads towards you as you sneezed into the bend of your arm.

It was becoming such an issue that it interfered with your job and your abilities. You couldn’t do your paperwork if an Alpha had brought you the papers, as it would end in you having to evacuate the room to not disturb the other people working with your wheezing. If an Alpha had cleaned your gun in the weaponry, you couldn’t use it until it was fully cleaned and reassembled again by a Beta. It was getting worse and worse throughout the weeks, and honestly, it was stressing you out. You might lose your rank, or even your job, for this.

Management obviously noticed, and instead of firing you, put you on scent-blocker pills. Now you could at least eat and wipe without coughing your lungs up, having constant throat burn, or getting nosebleeds every time you sneeze due to the constant irritation of your airways. It got slightly better, good enough for you to be able to work, thankfully. You finally got your paperwork done, not reacting to the scent of the Alphas as if you inhaled pure black pepper. The constant stench was still annoying, but compared to the hell you’ve been through the past weeks, you considered it durable.

But suddenly, the pills decided to start a fucking war with your hormones. You felt like total shit; even the slightest inconvenience either set you off, or left you quietly sobbing in a corner. There was no inbetween for the two weeks that the pills were in effect. It got so bad that you growled at one of the Lieutenants, which ended in one of the Betas having to pull you away from said Lieutenant (which, unfortunately for you, turned out to be an Alpha) to prevent any unnecessary scuffles.

After that incident, which was witnessed by practically every soldier on base, a few others got involved. Remarkably, management tried to find other solutions after making you stop taking the pills. You thought that they would have fired you long ago, sparing themselves from the complications and total waste of their time. Normally, you wouldn’t be complaining about getting free food and housing, but your worsening condition prevented you from enjoying the luxuries. At this point, you would rather have them fire you than let you stay and suffer through the agonizing pain and distress.

Thankfully, some higher-ups found a fitting nurse on base that was willing to investigate your troubles. Well, basically every nurse in the infirmary was willing to, since Omegas weren't researched to the same extent that Alphas and Betas were. Getting the chance to investigate and witness a rare case as yours seemed to greatly attract the nurses.

The nurse visited your room barely three hours after you got the notice from management. She entered quickly, closing the door gently behind her as she introduced herself. The meeting turned out to be extremely short, to your surprise. After just a short physical examination and some questions, she was done.

“It’s stress.” The nurse concluded while taking off her sanitary gloves, which she had used to feel your scent glands only seconds earlier. Your eyebrows immediately scrunched slightly, eyes narrowing. As she threw the gloves in a nearby trash can, you started pondering. How was this caused by stress when you only felt stressed after this happened? Your eyes followed her as she walked around the room, packing her tools back into the bag she brought them in. She looked over at you, and tilted her head a little. “You look confused.”

“I mean… yeah,” You mumble, looking around the room to avoid eye contact. Had you caused all of this chaos just because you were stressed? You suddenly felt guilty. You had always been able to control the stressful environment at base and on missions – what had managed to go so wrong now? The nurse looked at you curiously while holding her bag, as though she was leaving. You ended up quietly muttering, afraid to accidentally make her feel insulted. “Sorry, but I don’t think that’s possible.”

“...Why wouldn’t that be possible, Sergeant?” She sighs, but the look in her eyes proves that she’s not tired of you. She looks at you with care – not with the usual sternness you’re used to from the Lieutenants. She puts the bag down on the floor, and goes to sit on the bed next to you. Her calming scent wafts through the air, making your previous guilt slowly fade, and muscles release their tension without your command – making you feel a little sleepy. That’s why most nurses are Betas; the natural ability to calm being almost essential. Your thoughts gather way faster now than before, the Beta’s scent doing wonders. You sigh, and look over at her on your left side. “I’m not stressed. I’ve never been too stressed, cause I would’ve noticed, right? I was perfectly fine until this happened. This is the thing that’s been stressing me out, but nothing before that.”

“You’ve misunderstood me,” She smiles, and puts a warm hand on your left knee. She was extremely grounding, and you understood perfectly why management chose her specifically. “It’s not you, hun. It’s your Omega that’s stressed – that’s most likely why you haven’t felt it until it became real bad,” she pauses for a moment, ”tell me, have you done anything recently to calm it down?”

“Well… no. Not really. ” You murmur after a few moments, in thought, as you think back on the recent months. It’s first now that you notice the signs: you stopped getting the urges to nest only a few months after you first moved to this base, you started to rub your scent glands often, and eventually you even stopped scenting your own room. You have no pack, no mate, no bonds. How were you supposed to keep your omega content when you didn’t have someone to care for you? The nurse purses her lips and pats your knee softly to bring you out of your thoughts. “That’s what I suspected. You practically dozed off when you smelled my pheromones, you’re that sensitive. Plus, I can smell the scent of a stressed Omega, and I shouldn’t even be able to.” She’s right. Only Alphas and your pack should be able to identify that.

“I know that you’re confused, but I think I may have found a solution for you.” You look over at her from the corner of your eye, sighing. “Is there even a solution at this point? I’ve got nobody to calm it down.” You answer shortly, giving up hope. You had already tried to find packs, especially here on base, but none were too keen on taking in a stray. Your heats, which you fortunately only experienced twice per year, were solved by mere one-night stands with no aftercare. It left you broken, but it especially broke your Omega. It was hurt, and had nobody to seek help from. The nurse brings you out of your thoughts once more. “Don’t get all caught up in those depressive thoughts. You know that Lieutenant that you slightly …reacted towards?”

“...That’s a fancy way of saying it. But yes, I do. Why, what about him?” You cringe, cheeks turning vibrant as you think back. He’d taken the last protein bar. And you’d growled. You sigh and rub your forehead, and the nurse chuckles. “I didn’t mean to make you think back, since you seem to have taken it so hard. What happened wasn’t your fault.” She goes over to the bag, that’s still laying on the floor, and pulls out the notebook she had been using to write down your symptoms. She walks over to the bed while flipping to another page, sitting down and showing you the messy writing while explaining. “His Captain knows about you. You’d apparently been on his list of people he might interview for the 141, but when you started reacting this badly to scents, he decided to keep an eye on you. I contacted him before I got here and told him my suspicions, and he’s happy to help.”

You swear that your cheeks are going to ignite. All of this came to you as a shock – you’d been on his list, he kept an eye on you, he wanted to help you? The thoughts were rushing through your head all at once. The nurse visibly saw it on your face and put one of her hands on your shoulder gently. Her gaze was reaffirming, calming, as she spoke. “He’s a Captain, he knows what he’s doing. He’s been taking in strays since he joined the military – I can guarantee that he will take care of you.”

After some more conversing you found out that the nurse had already booked a meeting, on your behalf, with said Captain. She said that it was better for you to meet him as soon as possible, so she booked it for this evening. Sigh. You had no time to prepare yourself for what was about to happen, no time to gather your thoughts, as you decided to go to his office immediately. He’d apparently never said when this evening, so as you knocked on his door, you hoped you’d arrived at a suitable time. After an awkward second of waiting outside his door, the handle lowered. The high-pitched squeaking of the hinges slowly grew as the door opened wider, and revealed Captain Price.

He was a huge man, standing tall and wide in the doorway. His size was anticipated however, due to his secondary gender. Large muscles protruded faintly from his tight long-sleeve, cargo pants stretching tightly around his thighs. Jeez. Did this man even buy clothes his own size? His hair was ruffled slightly, some spiky ends pointing in all directions. His beard, however, was well groomed, showing off his lips as he smiled.

“I’ve been waiting for you. Come in.” He rumbles, quite literally. His voice was deep, tone commanding, as you stepped inside his office. As soon as you stepped over the threshold, his smell hit you like a shockwave. You were sure that you could smell coffee and leather, but there was just too much. It overwhelmed you, making you immediately cover the lower half of your face with the thick hoodie you’re wearing, to escape the odor. It worked to an extent, but it certainly wasn’t enough to block it out. Price noticed what was happening, and studied you as he walked over to his office chair. “Had some Betas in here for a while, thought that it would drown my scent out enough for you to be comfortable. Guess it didn’t work then, did it?”

“No, sir.” You mumble from underneath the hoodie, standing straight, muscles tense. You really didn’t want to be here, in a room all alone with someone who could overpower you within a few seconds. An Alpha that you’d never met before, your superior, that you barely knew the motives of. You had no idea how he acted – had no idea what he was like in general, and it made you nervous.

Price knew it too. The way the scent in the room was drastically changing from his own to one of chemicals proved an Omega in distress, but what gave it away was your tense shoulders and knees, as well as the way you wouldn’t make eye contact.

“You seem uncomfortable.” He says, looking at your eyes from across the office table. It was decorated with the usual office stuff: Pencils, ballpoint pens, a monitor, and a few small plastic plants.

“I… I don’t really know what to do,” you speak up after a few seconds, words once again muffled by your hoodie. You looked up at him, finding his gaze already set on you and observing you. He sighs, leans back in his chair, and spreads his legs slightly. “I know that we’re not pack, and that this may make you uncomfortable, but you have to try. Let’s just… get to know each other, yeah? Then we’ll take it from there.”

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was difficult not to trust Price, even with how tense you were. His gentle and caring demeanor helped you relax enough to be able to sit next to him in the uncomfortable leather couch that stood in a corner in his office. It was thoroughly used, cracks decorating the leather, branching out like lightning over the worn material. You wonder what had made it so appealing in the first place as you shift uncomfortably, your back feeling like you’d sat against a brick wall for hours on end. You both had managed to keep a steady conversation going since you first arrived, but your squirming interrupted the mood.

“...Uncomfortable?”

As he speaks, you swear that you could see a shiny glint of mischief in his eyes. It disappeared as quickly as it had appeared, promptly replaced by a neutral look that you couldn’t interpret. You sighed quietly, faking a smile and shaking your head. As you did, he smirked somewhat, looking away from you and shaking his head as the smirk grew. He could see right through you. “Yeah, keep telling yourself that. We both know that’s not true, love.”

The nickname had, what you assumed was, the desired effect. Cheeks hot, you look up at him, puzzled. He looks back at you, his gentle eyes reassuring you once more. The eye contact is intense – and eventually, his scent gets more intense. You could feel the beginning of an itch in your throat, making you draw back and raise the collar of your hoodie above your nose. He looked slightly disappointed at your retreat, but gathered himself quickly. He cleared his throat, gaze diverting from you. “Let’s not circle around the elephant in the room any more than necessary. You need me to take care of you, correct?”

“...I mean, according to the nurse, yes.” You mutter out from underneath the hoodie, turning slightly grumpy at the thought. You’d been so invested in the conversation that you’d forgotten why you were here in the first place. He rumbles a singular hum at your wording, interested. “But not according to you, then?”

It was like he could open your skull, reading thought after thought as if you were a simple book. You supposed it was natural considering his position, but it still felt eerie. “No. I don’t feel stressed.”

“You’re out of your mind – straight nonsense, that is.” He chuckles, voice rumbling, almost reverberating inside his chest cavity. His lips were stretched thin as he genuinely smiled, looking up and in your eyes a short moment later. “The scent of stressed Omega is practically drowning me, inside my own office, Sergeant. Are you really so sure that you aren’t stressed?”

You huff at him and look away, eyebrows scrunching slightly as you close your eyes. He was good company at first, but now you just wanted to leave. He could most likely feel the scent of stress increasing, fighting his instincts to care, making him squeeze his eyes shut and lower his head. He let out a deep sigh. “Just let me try to help. If it doesn’t work, no harm done. If it does work, you’ll be able to live normally again.”

“So much for living normally in this line of work.” You shoot him a glare from the corner of your eye, much to his disappointment. He raises his eyebrows as he keeps a neutral expression. You huff once more, obviously not keen on his idea. “What are you even going to do? How are you going to help me?”

“Me? I’m not going to be doing so much.” His gravelly voice boomed cooly. You look over at him, confused. “What do you mean?”

He seemed oddly comfortable on the unbearable couch, gaze cool and steady. His body was wide, legs parted, taking up as much space as possible. He was so confident, and it somehow made you feel… safe? He slowly spoke again, calmly, as if he didn’t want to upset you with what he was about to say. “You’ll have to kneel for me, Sergeant.”

Kneeling. It was something you’d never done before. It was the ultimate act of trust between Omega and Alpha – explaining why you’d never experienced it. You had never had someone to trust enough to kneel for, especially not within the military. The thought of kneeling in front of Captain Price, someone you’d met just a few hours ago, was dizzying. Your eyebrows scrunched, not sure how to react to such a thing. “Kneel?”

“Yeah. Kneel. You know how it works.” Thing is, you don’t. How are you supposed to know when you’ve never done it before? You suspect that Price reads you once more as you glare over at him. His eyes widen – in remorse or something else, you don’t know – as he raises his chin slightly. He keeps his eyes on you, observing, but eventually lets out a sigh. “Guess it was stupid of me to assume. Don’t worry, I’ll guide you through it – it’s as simple as it sounds.”

“It sounds sexual.” You sigh, as he grabs a soft pillow from the couch and puts it on the floor between his spread legs. He lets out a small chuckle, and looks up at you as he prepares. “Yeah. It’s going to look sexual too, love, but you’ll just have to trust me with this.”

He finishes quickly, somehow managing to find a comfortable position on the couch. His legs are spread wide, ready to accommodate you in between them. You blush once more, realizing that you’re basically going to have his crotch in your face.

You immediately try to stop your train of thought, eyes widening as you realize the scent in the room is changing. You can’t identify it, but Price sure can; pupils blown as he looks over at you from the corner of his eye. “Don’t do that if you don’t want this to have a completely different outcome.”

After stalling a few times, you finally dare to drop to your knees on the pillow. You were completely rigid, muscles filled to the brim with tension. Price immediately tries to get your attention. “Hey, look at me,” He orders, and as you obey, he rewards you, “there you go, just like that.”

The praise gave you goosebumps. You were now looking up at his eyes, pupils expanding as you soak up the praise. He smiles and nods once down at you, rewarding you for listening. “Good job. Now, I’m just going to do something real quick, and you’ll feel very good. Trust me.”

The position you were in made you trust him, made you obey his commands. You had no idea if it was instinctual or if you were just depraved, but at this point you didn’t care. It felt good to kneel for him, and the praise was just an extra bonus. You nodded slowly at his words, and after your confirmation, he started slowly moving his right hand towards the left side of your neck. As his fingers grazed your bare throat, you could feel his scent growing sweeter. Instead of bitter coffee, he now smelled like sweet chamomile tea – making you drowsy. You could feel a pressure that you didn’t know existed in your airways die down, and all of a sudden, you could breathe.

His palm was now gently laying on the left side of your neck, and your eyes slowly started closing. He was murmuring sweet praise constantly, telling you how good you were for him, and how everything was going to be okay. Suddenly, his hand moved slightly up to your scent gland, and pushed on it ever so slightly. The sensation left you speechless, only capable of releasing a relaxed sigh as you push your neck further into his palm. What you couldn’t currently see due to your closed eyes, was the proud smile Price was wearing. He knew that if you could purr, you definitely would. The expression on your face was just pure relaxation as you float – experiencing a heavenly, ethereal feeling that was unknown to you. Price continued murmuring those sweet words, and you couldn’t think straight anymore.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You don’t know how much time has passed. You must’ve fallen asleep, since you woke up leaning on Price’s left thigh. You could feel a large and warm hand on your head, holding you steady against his thigh so you wouldn’t topple over. You gradually open your eyes, pupils trying to adjust to the harsh lightning as you do.

“G’morning.” Price’s voice affectionately murmurs down at you, starting to stroke your hair slowly as you adjust. “How’re you feeling?”

“...Tingly.” You respond quietly, almost in a whisper. The Captain chuckles, and you look up at him softly as he keeps stroking your head. His voice is intentionally soft, not wanting to accidentally startle you. “I wasn’t expecting an answer. Post-kneeling is always difficult for Omegas to describe.”

As you slowly woke up and regained your rational way of thinking, you noticed that you smelled entirely of Price. There wasn’t a single hint of your smell left, and you looked up at him, blushing. “Did… Did you scent me?”

His eyes widen and look down at you almost immediately. He scoffs, shakes his head, and looks away once more. “No, I absolutely would not scent you without your permission. You might smell like me after the kneeling, though.”

Price desperately tried to ignore his instincts. You, a stray Omega, definitely looking for a pack and a mate, smelling just like him. His Alpha took that as a sign that he’d claimed you, and Price tried, with all his might, to prevent himself from escalating the currently wholesome situation to something… not-so-wholesome.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were surprisingly content half-asleep between his legs, sometimes dozing off enough for you to almost fall over. But, all things have to come to an end, and sooner than later you were being escorted out of Price’s office by the man himself.

It was difficult to say goodbye. You two had just done something that you couldn’t undo, made an unbreakable bond, practically tying you two together with a short invisible string that couldn’t be cut. You both knew it – yet, there were no regrets.

As you step over the threshold after saying your goodbyes, Price’s hand stops you by grabbing your shoulder. You turn around curiously, looking up at him with wide, expecting eyes. “Meet me here at six, tomorrow afternoon. I’ve got good news for you.”

You got the job that Price had originally put you on the list for, and soon after, you met the 141 for the first time. They all looked at you curiously – you smelled just like their Captain, after all. After sparing a glance over at said looming – seemingly protective – alpha, they managed to piece it together.

taglist!!!: @cadotoast

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simp4wom3n · 1 year

Text

Requited Love

Pairing: Jenna Ortega x Reader

Requested: Yes/No ~ request

Summary: Y/N is cast to play Mia Reed in ‘The Fallout’ and her feelings for her costar, Jenna Ortega, start to resemble those of her characters. Love. ~ Word Count: 1887 ~ Warnings: tiny bit of angst if u squintttttt

A/N: Hello everyone!! Firstly I want to say thank you for all the support shown on my first few posts, and I also wanted to give you guys an update. I’m currently travelling overseas with very busy days so my time for writing is limited but I am writing I PROMISE. This one took a little longer than expected but I hope you enjoy it <3

It's your first day working on the set of ‘The Fallout’, your newest film in which you play Mia Reed. You are a little nervous despite having an impressive collection of films under your belt. When it comes to new sets, new environments, and more importantly new people, you were always anxious about how you would fit in. Your nerves certainly weren’t helped when you learned that Jenna Ortega had joined the cast. You are a huge admirer of hers. Since you've seen pretty much everything she's been in and respect her as an actress, the idea of sharing the screen with her was undeniably daunting.

You pull up to the ‘base camp’ of the film, where all the trailers are located, in an attempt to find yours and get a head start settling in. As you get out of the car your Y/E/C eyes scan the area in search of your trailer, your eyes instead landing on a girl. She appears to be about a foot shorter than you and has long, dark hair. She is dressed in baggy pants and a black singlet with headphones around her neck. Your breath hitches in your throat as you realise, “Holy shit… it’s her oh my god ok” you breathe as you hesitantly start walking in her direction, attempting to calm yourself down. ‘Relax Y/N it’s fine you got this just don’t be weird’.

The sound of your approaching footsteps catch her attention as she turns her head in your direction. Her brown eyes meet yours causing your breath to catch in your throat once again. To your surprise, a genuine smile crosses her face as she too starts walking towards you. “Hey, I’m Y/N. I’m your costar it’s really nice to finally meet you.” you start, giving her a little wave, thrilled you somehow managed to not stumble over your words. “It’s amazing to finally meet you too! I’m Jenna, and I have to say I’m a really big fan of your work” she smiles at you as you feel your cheeks start to burn. Your brain can’t even fathom the idea of THE Jenna Ortega knowing who you are, let alone being a big fan.

“Really?!?” “Of course I am I’ve seen almost everything your in.” she giggles at the disbelief painted all over your face. “And here I thought I was going to be the one fangirling. I’ve also seen pretty much all your stuff and you are incredible. Im still in disbelief that I get to work with you.” you rant, the words flying out of your mouth faster than you ever thought possible. “You are so adorable” she giggles, your cheeks at this point on fire. “Trust me the honour is all mine” she concludes.

You spent the remainder of the day talking to Jenna whilst walking around set, meeting all the important people who you will be working with over the next few weeks. To your delight, whilst exploring the set, you discover that Jenna’s trailer is right next to yours. If there was one thing you were sure of in this moment it was that you couldn’t wait to get to know her better.

*time skip*

You jump as you are awoken suddenly by a loud banging on your trailer door. “Sh*t what the hell” you mumble, rubbing at your tired eyes as you sit up. Your eyes glance towards the clock hanging on your wall, the hands reading 9:17. That’s odd your supposed to be at hair and makeup by 9. “Oh sh*t. I’m coming!” you launch off your trailer couch realising you must have fallen asleep whilst memorising your lines, meaning you didn’t set an alarm. You quickly attempt to fix your disheveled hair as you swing your door open, met with the disappointed glance of your makeup artist. “Sorry! I’m so sorry give me five minutes I’ll be right there I swear” you apologise rapidly, chucking on a random hoodie and running into the bathroom to check you don’t look too much like a corpse.

*small time skip*

Jenna jumps slightly as the door to the makeup trailer swings open, revealing a very cute and disheveled Y/N wearing… wait is that her hoodie? “Morning sleepyhead. I like your hoodie I’m surprised it fits you” Jenna chuckles as you look down and realise that you are actually wearing one of her hoodies. “Huh. I didn’t even notice.” “It looks cute on you” she flirts, your cheeks gaining their familiar warmth, one you often feel when you are around her. You drop into your makeup chair letting out a sigh as you allow your slightly irritated artist to get you ready for your scenes.

“You ready for today?” Jenna asks, smirking as she makes eye contact with you in the mirror. “As always. Why wouldn’t I be?” “We are filming the kiss scene today remember”. As soon as the words left her mouth you felt your stomach drop. “Oh. Right. Yeah I totally forgot about that haha” you chuckle nervously. Being completely honest with yourself, you had been harbouring a crush on Jenna for quite a while now, and whilst the idea of kissing her should fill you with excitement, you can’t help but be terrified. “You okay?” she asks sincerely, noticing the slight change in your demeanour. “Yeah! yeah no I’m fine I just had a rough sleep last night. I feel asleep on my couch memorising my lines so it wasn’t the most pleasant.” you ramble, trying to cover up your nerves, your attempt appearing to work.

“I think the way Megan has set the scene up is really smart.” she says whilst glancing towards you. Noticing the slight confusion on your face she elaborates, “I mean the way she has us kiss whilst we are both lying down. It gets rid of the whole height difference issue. Not that I have anything against it, I love it.” “Good to know” you reply, attempting to diffuse the tension by jokingly winking at her causing her to laugh and quickly hide her face with her hands. ‘Is she flustered?’ ‘Is there a chance she likes me back?’ you thought. However, just as quick as the thoughts came to your mind, you shut them down, ‘No Y/N stop. Don’t get your hopes up’.

*time skip*

“Action!”. You are lying on the floor of Mia’s bedroom as Jenna, or Vada, rolls towards you. You stare deep into her eyes as she can’t stop giggling. Once she finally settles down, her face is only a few inches away from yours. She starts, “What?… ok I know your a woman of very little words… but I know you got some deep shit happening in this nice little head of yours.” she recites her lines perfectly as you giggle on cue. “God… ugh” you sigh. “Anything? Ok. Lets say this. Lets say you die tomorrow, ok, and what if you die sad because you regret not saying what you wanted to say… then what?”.

Those words, although scripted, make your heart sink, because as true as it is, you can’t tell her. You can’t ruin what you have with Jenna over some stupid crush. They say you should always pick roles you relate to, and you hate to agree that you relate to the fear that Mia is feeling right now, absolutely terrified of losing her best friend. You lie there in silence for a few seconds whilst your mind races. “I can’t say it” you whisper, drawing your eyes off of her. “Why?” she immediately responds. You can feel her eyes burning into the side of your face which both comforts and unsettles you.

When you finally pluck up the courage to face her, she looks almost ethereal in the ambient lighting of the room and you regret ever taking your eyes off of her. You aren’t able to seperate your own feelings from your characters, all you feel is love. You notice Jenna glance at your lips, as she is directed to, and the next thing you know she is leaning in. Your heart is racing faster than it ever has before, so much so you are worried she can hear it. When her lips touch yours, you feel warmth blossom in your chest. She pulls away slightly asking “Is this okay?” to which you nod softly. As she connects her lips to mine once more, her lips part slightly allowing my tongue to slip inside. Before I know it she is climbing on top of me, our bodies pressed together as our lips moved passionately against one another’s. Her hands begin exploring your body as your fingers travel through her hair as you breathed her in. It was utter bliss. Until it wasn’t.

“Cut! That was perfect girls well done. The chemistry was amazing, very believable.” “Thanks” you murmur as you seperate yourself from Jenna and get to your feet, avoiding all eye contact with her. “I think we got it guys you can head back to your trailers”. With that you made your way swiftly out of the room, attempting to avoid Jenna’s concerned stare and get to your trailer as quickly as possible. “Y/N! Y/N wait!” Jenna calls from behind you as you hear her rapidly approaching footsteps. She eventually catches up to you, stopping you when she grabs hold of your hand, swinging you around.

“Hey what’s wrong?” she asks, her hand still holding yours with concern written all over her face. You couldn’t help but think about how pretty she looked which didn’t help with your current predicament. “Nothing. I just… I need to be alone right now” you say, turning on your heels attempting to avoid having the conversation you have been dreading. She grabs ahold of your other hand in order to pull you back, not allowing you to avoid her and suffer in silence. “Hey.” she comforts softly “You can talk to me you know. Just tell me what’s wrong we can figure it out together.” “I can’t say it” you quote Mia as a tear rolls down your cheek, the weight of the conversation finally taking its toll on you as the fear of losing your best friend overcomes you.

You witness the moment it clicks in Jenna’s eyes, her gaze immediately softening as she wipes away your stray tear with her thumb. You see her lips twitch into a smile as her hands land on your cheeks, the two of you having a silent conversation with your eyes. Her eyes flicker down to your lips which doesn’t go unnoticed, but before you can comment on it she is guiding your face down to meet hers as her lips brush against yours tentatively. You were taken over by pure desire as you close the remaining distance, leaning into the kiss as you place your hands around her neck. The familiar feeling of her warm lips against yours makes your heart flutter as you begin to comprehend what is happening, she likes you back. Your lips slowly parted as your foreheads remained against each others. “I love you too Y/N” Jenna intimately whispered, placing a chaste kiss on your lips before pulling back completely. “So you really do love the height difference?” you joke, unable to take your eyes off of her. “Of course I do. I love everything about you”.

#jenna ortega #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x fem reader #jenna ortega x fem!reader #jenna ortega imagine #the fallout #vada cavell #mia reed #jenna ortega request #wednesday addams x fem reader #wednesday addams x reader #simp4wom3n

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girlreblogger · 2 months

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also to add to my previous post, when i say blk yn go through crazy situations im exaggerating but i mean (“cause me personally!!!!!!!!!!!”) allowing the character to be treated in certain manner and be put in “awkward” positions. i also want to say that the “situations” seem unfulfilling like i wanted to say in the first place.

because of the unsavory situations she is put in she legit has to have characteristics that are straight up unnecessary if the wellbeing of her character was prevalent. and i have to say that because of blk yn stories that it applies to. (and no ian talking abt how ppl be complaining abt yn being “ghetto” 😒)

drama, comfort, or for fun, is cool and dandy but it’s the same type of thing and i’m not tryna come for the plug stories like don’t nbgaf like omg i’m so tired of hearing bout them freaking stories.

to the ppl who still decide to ignore how damaging fr CERTAIN! blk yn fics y’all remind me of the ppl who support tyler perry movies simply because it’s for entertainment and “he’s telling a story” (that not everyone has)

yep. those things are true but an impact worse than good is being produced. like bffr.

and i feel conflicted by even saying that because some ppl obviously genuinely relate or find comfort in those stories but at what cost. like is comfort worth change and progression?

me rn:

some ppl just really don’t gaf and don’t care to want better. please don’t let the ppl who don’t gaf sway you. for the ppl who do, reblog nice fics or write. blow them up so other blk girls can find them. we deserve it.

there are so many blk fics where yn is not going through those things and if there is “drama” is solved or there’s a healthy resolve. (there’s so many blk writers who need to be publishing books fuck tumblr or ao3 and tryna get reblogs. with all that talent girl MAKE SOME MONEYYYY! YALL STUFF BE GOOD.)

i’m dead serious. why haven’t you thought abt it.

but yeah. it is what it is we have to put more work in to change as people in general. but i really just want my ppl to grow. ppl find comfort in fics for a reason. i really think a good balance of what everyone is looking for and needs should be found. i know ppl gonna feel like ppl telling them what to do but they prolly the ones who don’t want the change for wtv.. reason… ahem..

ppl feeling hit by what i said:

there’s obviously a problem and as a ppl! why can’t we just fix it. like at least try.

side note:

there’s so many ways to get drama. also the smut after arguing piss me off this is off topic cause it applies to a lot of ppl who make fics but like damn. y’all ain’t gon talk it out. and it be the most weird arguments and stuff and you wanna squeeze lemons after that???

idk that annoys me like everyyyy time? and i think smut after arguments can be well written but ….

anyways the blk ff community to damn big for us to be sitting here starving acting like we don’t have food in the refrigerator to make something.

get it together yall. youn want what’s in the refrigerator go get your keys and buy something.

i’m tired of this shit that’s why so many blk writers stop writing or ppl stop reading because it’s too much going on all for some damn fake characters we wanna imagine ourselves with.

and i know for some ppl it’s abt the followers and all that which i mean to each is own i mean

sigh i was tryna be proper and cordial but i really want better for us but it’s so many ppl who go too far or do too little. and some are so sheep that they go with someone else’s opinion too. you know you tired of all the toxic fics say sumn. you know you tired of ppl constantly bringing up yn being ghetto for no reason (that shit piss me off so bad i can’t. they be so close but so farr) say sumn.

me after thinking someone finna bring up how unnecessary struggle love/toxic/extra smutty blk fics are but they end up just complaining abt yn using aave:

anyways i’m ranting. i wanted to say what i felt.

muah

#x black reader #x black reader fluff #black reader #x black fem reader #anime x black!reader #black fanfiction #aot x black reader #jjk x black reader #connie x black reader #x fem black reader #aot x black y/n #eren x black fem!reader #jjk x black y/n #eren x black reader #black yn #i love using gifs theyre so fun🤭#i said what i said again

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showtoonzfan · 8 months

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i would like to say that ozzie COULD have been better as i do love his character but MAN did they fucking butcher him in the new episode

he is the embodiment of lust, making him the WEAKEST sin is well a sin and also since he’s apart of the seven deadly SINS he should be ya’ know POWERFUL because in that episode he just feels like some rich guy akin to every other rich guy in this show, he should be a guy that the whole cast are afraid of(and honestly the same thing happened to bee where she’s a deadly sin and NO ONE is acting like she of any importances)

how i would fix him personally is well not make him soft uwu boy i do like the fact he cares about fizz but well he’s powerful we should FEEL how powerful he is make some imps or succbi be cowering near him, fizz not sprouting jokes and blowing a BLOW HORN in his ear give us the feeling that he’s not to be mess with, and the stolas and ozzie team up honestly should be studied on how to kill a character, they shouldn’t made ozzie just be the same hight as stolas and i mean that IN EVERYWAY POSSIBLE because stolas seems to be scared of him thats good but ozzie ya’ know is chill about everything i mean stolas didn’t cause anything but him being chill is very stupid. thats my take of everything about ozzie and honestly im curious on what your take of fixing him is

So I’m not against Ozzie being nice and soft to Fizz, but him in general being the nicest sin and a cool “chill” dude does bother me. Again, these characters are supposed to be the rulers of Hell and I refuse to believe they’re just nice, it’s how I felt for Beezlebub. Same for Leviathan since Viv confirmed she wants him to be a chill surfer dude and so far the only sin she plans to be an asshole is Mammon. In Ozzie’s case, it’s also weird seeing him say how “lust shouldn’t be forceful” when I feel like the writers are confusing love and lust again. He’s also called the “deadly SIN” for a reason, he’s normally supposed to represent the sin itself, how sinners let lust consume them, in a bad way.

For Viv’s interpretation, I genuinely have no idea. Despite being called the “sins”, I feel like the seven sins in this show aren’t connected to the sinners at all, since they’re all in the Pride Ring and Lucifer was the one confirmed to be ruling over them, so we’re only left to believe that the sins tend to the hellborns. We know that Ozzie rules the Succubi’s, I guess you could say those are the types of demons for his ring, but I thought that the whole reason he gave the succubi’s crystals in the first place was to let them tempt those on earth….and yet he’s saying “lust” shouldn’t be forceful. See how it kinda doesn’t make much sense for his character? Then again there’s not a lot we know about Ozzie, outside of Viv describing him as chill and nice. For his job, all he seems to do is handle the sex objects that hellborns use. I’m not against the idea of him being an inventor/tinkerer either, these are interesting concepts, I just feel like not much is done with them. There’s still tons of empty gaps for this character, even after the new episode we still barley know him, so it’s kinda hard to say on what I think would “fix” him.

All I can say is just make him more threatening and intimating, which is funny because Stolas CLEARY was intimidated by Ozzie in S1E7, but Oops really makes you wonder what he was afraid of in the first place, especially if you’re going to paint him as the “weakest sin”. What if…as a better contrast to Blitz and Stolas, what if Ozzie was nice to Fizz, but mean and threatening to everyone else? His workers, other demons, basically a guy you don’t want to mess with, a person who takes his business seriously (whatever that would be lol). And while Fizz loves him, he questions their relationship and if he should be getting involved with a sin. There’s a lot you can do, I’m just kinda tired of characters in Helluva being “just good” and “just bad”. It’s very black and white and this is Hell.

#vivziepop critical #spindlehorse critical #helluva boss critical #helluva boss critique #helluva boss criticism #helluva critical #reply #ask

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slayingqueenchal · 1 year

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All because of a silly little niffler, and a necklace| James Potter x f!reader

Reader is Slytherin, the same year as James, James pulls a big prank to snape but instead, you got it and everyone's making fun of you. Somehow reader is muggleborn in slytherin, cheesy love story, no smut

"Y/n, can you open this box for me? " Severus asked, giving you a very bright yellow and red box, that's moving.

"Fine" You were tired of severus's 'can you's' so you might as well do it.

Inside. A niffler jumped at you and you fell to the floor. It took your necklace off, a very special necklace to you, and you can hear laughs already, as the niffler walked across your body.

A boy named Regulus catched it and a first year helped him put it in the box, seems like they were the only one's who actually has a heart.

"Wasn't me" Severus puts his hands up and laughed. All this because you were a 'mudblood' as they say it. You were a muggleborn, but, clearly better than the pureblood maniacs. Even Severus is not a pureblood, he's a halfblood and treating hisself like he's one of the Black's.

You stood up and ran outside of the common room, even outside, you can hear people chiming in 'y/n the mudblood, is she gonna cry'. You've never seen nor heard Slytherin be this evil.

You didn't know were your feet was bringing you , but you walked, and walked, and walked, and bumped into someone.

"I'm sorry! " You put your hands down, to show your bright red face of sadness, but mostly embarrassment.

"Uhm, y/n, right, uhh, what's wrong? " A guy asks. Messy hair, glasses. Well, his voice too, was iconic, James Potter. The guy your fancied since year one, you were suprised that he even knew your name. Well you sniffed, just like a niffler and wiped your tears, you were more embarrassed now.

"Severus told me to open this box, and there was a niffler and It took my necklace, and plus, all the Slytherin's were laughing at me! " You cringed at the moment, remembering when many slytherins laughed, mostly the purebloods.

"Snivel-- snape? H-how dare he? " James stuttered. "James.. Don't tell me it's one of your pranks? " You asked him, disappointed, but honestly not surprised.

"Uh-uhm, I'm sorry, yes, but I swear I'll find you the necklace! And do things to snape, im sorry! " He said. "Oh.. James.. Well, you said sorry, and i guess it's fine, I can buy myself a new one.. Later" You said. If you hadn't fancied him for years, you would've screamed at him and made him pay back but, he is James Potter.

"How much is it? The necklace, of course" James asked. "Sixty galleons, I know you might laugh at me for crying at a sixty gall-" He cuts you off "sixty?! Sixty?! Oh my Lord, y/n I'm sorry! Can I buy you a new one, or-or something? " James eyes lit up.

"No, it's fine.. James, you didn't meant it, I mean it was severus's fault, and uhm, I need to go now, James, have a goodnight! " You faked your smile.

Walking down to the halls, you were sad about your necklace, you loved it. It glows yellow if you're happy, blue if you're sad, red if you're mad, pink if you're adoring something or someone, purple if you're confused, and green if you're sick.

You walked to the common room, in hope to find the box and Regulus, but just to get told that after you left, the niffler left too.

Well, you got to bed, sick to your stomach that you declined 60 galleons, and humiliated yourself, in front of the whole common room and james.

The next day was worst, you got a nickname 'y/n the sniffing niffler'. It was getting worst that you left your food almost untouched.

A week passed by, you didn't go Hogsmeade, cause you've seen everything there, and it's not like you can afford many things there.

You instead enjoyed reading some books, the fantastic beast, while drinking tea. You enjoyed the quietness and the weirdness of the creature's.

Until that peace was disturbed by the sound of someone running. "Y/n, you can't believe it, I've been searching you all day! " It was James.

"James Potter, looking for me, what? " You looked at him confused. "Y/n I'm sorry about your necklace, I found the niffler and.. It chewed it up" James said, his chest going up and down after all thw running.

"As expected, that's alright, James" You looked at your book back. "No, uhm-y/n, I bought you a necklace, from the same exact shop" James said. You looked at him, and there he had it, a similar necklace, thats shining pink.

"James, oh my gosh! " It felt as if you were the happiest person in the world. "Thankyou so so so much! " You stood up and hugged him, dramatic and cheesy, but you just had the urge to. Imagine getting a necklace from the guy you had a crush on for years, and imagine him putting it on to you, well, you don't need to imagine now.

He puts the necklace on to you. "Beautiful, as always" He smiled. The necklace gleamed yellow and pink. Well, around him the necklace is always yellow and pink, mostly pink.

"Seems like you adore me, don't you little thing? " James grinned. "How did you know, wait, no! I'm happy! Do you even know what pink means? " You asked him, stuttering.

"Oh, love, you must know that everyone who buys it gets clear instructions of what the colors means, right?" James grinned.

"See James, the problem is that uhm, it's pink because.. " You paused, immediately regretting what you just said. "Because? " James shot an 'innocent' eye to you.

"Oh geez, James you know it, ive liked you since first year" You looked down. "You can take it back if your disgusted of me, resell it or something" .

"Look at me, love" He said. James, has this special power that makes you do whatever he says, and you looked at him.

He smashed your lips into yours, while holding your chins up to him. Softly and gently, you two pulled away. "Mhm, I think we both know I like you back and you're keeping the necklace forever. Y/n y/l/n, the most beautiful, and nicest girl I've met, would you like to be my girlfriend? " James looks at you dead in the eye. You of course said yes.

This evening was not what he expected, he expected you to take the necklace and leaves, but, this is way better obviously.

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thedisablednaturalist · 7 months

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Office disability culture is so fucked in environmental science and fieldwork. Like the mindset that to do the job you have to be in perfect physical health or you should just quit. Like I'm not talking about something that is 100% physical labor here, everything is mostly achievable with aids and you don't need to be able to do every single thing. But there's this weird like..pride..that my older coworkers have. They work out in the gym and brag about how many reps they did. They tease each other for having medical issues. They don't ask for accommodations because they fear that their legitimacy will be hurt. That it means that they can't do their job anymore. That they won't be TRUSTED to do their jobs anymore. That it will get taken away.

So they FURTHER hurt their bodies by not resting, not taking breaks, not using ergonomic equipment, not using safety equipment. Not drinking enough water. Not using mobility aids when they are so old that it's supposed to be acceptable. They don't use the scooters at the grocery store, they don't use their handicapped placard, they don't use knee pads or compression gloves.

And here I come in, 24 years old, looking perfectly healthy. And I use walking sticks, I sit down a lot, I have my care bag, I have a ton of gadgets for making fieldwork more comfortable, I have boundaries and limits, I wear braces and knee pads and compression gloves. I use my handicapped placard.

They react in one of two ways:

1. How DARE I. I'm so lucky to be young and no one sees THEM having to do all those things (literally nothing is stopping them but pride). Like old man if you need a break take a fucking break. I'm not going to hurt my health to make you feel better about hurting yours. I'm not risking a flare up to spare the 65 year olds feelings. Im gonna take my break and use my equipment cause my boss doesn't care as long as the work gets done. I'm tired of glares from 100 year olds making themselves struggle across the parking lot when they could also be using the fucking scooter. (I never take the last scooter, there's always another available. Also it's not my fault if walmart only provides 2 scooters for the whole store).

2. It shows them its okay. Its okay to need aids. When I first showed up at my job it was very...macho..everyone was afraid of seeming old (theres probably only 3 of us under 30 in the whole department, most people are at least 50, mainly 65 year olds). Then they saw me using my walking sticks, taking my medicine openly, bringing a chair with me when working away from my desk, using my TENS unit. I overheard one lady ask her granddaughter what fibromyalgia was (apparently she had spotted my pain tracking journal).

My older coworker with a bad knee got a walking stick like mine and beamed when she showed me. The grandmother uses a cane and a walker interchangeably and more often. I get asked where I get my little portable fan and pocket heaters and special clothing. Even abled coworkers are doing it. My coworker who's younger than me sets alarms to take breaks now just like I do. People seem more comfortable using things that help them now.

My boss has really struggled. He has a lot of internalized ableism and hates thinking of himself as crippled. He spent his whole life physically active and strong and all these health issues and overexertion are catching up with him. Like he did environmental testing in areas with fucking radon. He did work where they threw asbestos around like snow for fun. He's done a ton of really hard physical work. He grew up with the mentality that pain was just something everyone has to push through. But I think seeing a young person make the choice not to push through is helping him a bit. He wants to make his own walking stick, he goes to the doctor more. We bond over having constant medical issues and I even gave him the name of my surgeon. Yea he still says stuff like "shoot me if I have to use a wheelchair" (not as much anymore since he now knows I use one) but he's getting there.

Yeah so I've had this in my drafts for a bit and I wanted to update that my boss has been walking around with a fucking broken ankle for the past couple of weeks. He thought it was just arthritis pain and eventually couldn't take it anymore and went to the foot doctor. The doctor has no clue how the fuck he's been walking on it. Now he has to wear the boot and he's banned from fieldwork while he heals.

Older people and the elderly need to learn that it's okay to not push through the pain and ask for help. Everyone needs to learn this, and not be like my fucking boss. Go to the doctor, get that sore joint checked out. Get those tests done. Use that aid. Stop walking on a broken ankle just because you can.

#chronic disability #chronic pain #spoonie #disability #from the field #wrenfea.exe #literally fucking flabbergasted #he walked in after leaving for a bit to go to his appointment and came back like so yeah my ankles been broken #BUDDY #everyone needs help sometimes you dont deserve to be in pain #like thats some catholic guilt shit im pretty sure #this man has had 4 major back surgeries so i guess a broken ankle is nothing compared to that #but still...jesus fucking christ #not sprained..BROKEN #and thats along with all the rest of the pain hes in #like i get being used to pain but if i stub my toe during a flare up I can't handle it because it pushes my pain level over the edge #so it actually makes me less tolerable since im already in pain #but im used to a higher pain level than abled people are #ok im done rambling for now im gonna go play Minecraft

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squeiky · 2 months

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Go tired of seeing "old hedgehog" designs of sonic and shadow with them just having greyed out quills and decided to do something about it

So yeah qpr sonadow (yeah shadow is 50+ fucking finally. Im considering giving him a cane. An asthetic or an actual one idk. Maybe both?)

Sonic grew his quills out (wanted a kind of longhair rockstar kinda hair thing idk if i achiebed i though. Also still unsure on what he'd wear so i just slapped on his sa2 beach costume and added sandals (and possibly socks).

(Oh and there a scar from the Mephiles blast on his stomach- as well as top surgery scars because of course he had top surgery its sonic)

(Oh and also the "old lady swagger" sonic is just him crossdessing/going lady mode because he always rocks the look )

Shadow styled/shortend his quills and i put him in a nice black collared sweater. He wears glasses because my guy has eye problems

(Btw. Im horrible at telling ppls ages so if they dont feel old then idk what to tell you guys i have no idea what aging is at this point)

Then, instead of simply making old yaoi i ended up getting obbessed (and happy) and started making everyone old

So next up was amy and Blaze. (Silver is here too)

I think theyre a little bit on the younger side of the old yaoi? I did consider the fact that some people age differently (some look older whilst others look younger) so Amy and Silver got the more "youthful-ish" complexion whilst Blaze and Espio got the more older one.

Thoughhh im still working on their design. I can always make older old lady Amy (now that i think about it i should 100% make Amy a granny looking buff woman because i feel like thats beautiful)

Either way amy and Blaze kept their uh.. "hair" short. Amy still wears supergirly clothes and Blaze wears more masculine type clothes nothing else.

Next is espilver

You cant sue me for making Silver a short king menace to society.

Not really much on design so far other than Silver is way more plump (pearshaped) now because life got better, and Espio is taller because what is he if not a tree?

Ask them how they met? It was at bowling. Why bowling? Its because thats less weird then "was investigating the multiple crimes husbando commited and ended up getting said yet-to-be husbando arrested, but after he got out we totally fucked"

Yeah

Oh, and because i couldnt choose, Espio is trans AND intersex! Yeah!

Also Amy is silvers ex (Silver has like.. 2 exes... Possibly more?)

And then theres everyone else who arent a "ship" persay:

So i call this the moreso young adult group with Tails, Charmy, Ray and Cream.

Tails (in college) and Charmy (not in college) obviously hang out and play videogames.

Cream, because when she was little she didnt get invited to fight deadlt monsters, grew up, and decided shes going to fight deadlt monsters. So i tried to make her a cool suit but idk.. it needs reworking cause the whole "secret agent" vibe works! But not the way i like.

Rouge is forever foxynand will continue to be the most attractive woman on planet earth no matter what age. Shes also still a meance to socitey and we will forever love the jewel thief (old) woman.

Knuckles doesnt cut his quills so those shits are LONG hes also old as well but idk what he'd wear

And yes Metal (also Chaos) is here too. Metal is a bit rusty (literally) but overall well kept and fancy. I think eggman would be dead by now, so i gave it a crown on its ears to symbolize how it took over i guess.

OKAY SHIPKIDS:

Blaze x Amy ( bio kid): Flare (was thinking "Spark" because of the love idea but idk yet)

Espio x Silver (bio-kid): Greybell

And then heres the fun part:

So Sonic and Shadow dont function like the others here, in that- while saving the world and whatnot, every so often they'd either find a kid following them (similarly to Amy and Tails back in the days) or save a kid during their whole adventure.

The first time this happened was just Luca (a black jaguar) who followed Sonic during one his little solo adventures and Sonic was like "do you have parents i can take u back too" and she was like "nah" so of course, after seriously looking for her parents through ppl with database accesses like tails and rouge, he was like "u wanna stay with me?" And Luca was like "YEAH!"

And then Sonic called Shadow like "Shadow do u want kids" and which he replied "what?" And then suddenly they adopted Luca. This is how it began.

Eventually, as one grew up, theyd find another, and then another and then well now they have like 11 kids in total.

Now, after ALL of this, they took a break and after that years worth of a break were like "wanna make a kid? Like for the challenge of having to that from scratch"

And sonic was like "what?"

So they hit up the labs and made a bio kid who is 2 months old and is the most hectic fucking thing theyve ever had to deal with so thanks for the prior 10 experinces (alas they do not compare to the mega menace)

#sonadow #espilver #blazamy #rouge the bat #knuckles the echidna #tails the fox #cream the rabbit #charmy the bee #should i even tag ray? i drew like half of his body #eh #ray the flying squirrel #SHIT I JUST REALIZED I FORGOT TO DRAW MIGHTY NOOOOOI #oldies au

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duskterrace · 5 months

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local ghost spotted posting intro five days late, anomaly muns claim. many express shock over ghost's sudden appearance. ✩ ( let's pretend this is introduction is actually on time and i wasn't panicked about how little i had ready lmao)

sorry for the super late introduction guys and thank you admins for being so understanding with me and my sweet summer child ! hi everyone ! ✩ im ghost ( they/them, 21+, est ) sleepy and back from the afterlife to offer up seo jinsol, your local 23 year old disaster astronomy major with the ability to manipulate the presence of yin and yang within themselves ! i've been so excited for this rp, and i honestly cant wait to start plotting with everyone. everything you could possibly need on jinsol is below, along with some headcanons and wanted plots! my discords available for anyone who needs it ( and pls need it tumblrs ims will be the death of me ). pls send a dm or leave a like if you'd like to plot so i can race over and gush over your muse(s) !

✩ BASIC INFORMATION.

name seo jinsol ╱ age twenty3 ╱ pronouns he/they/she ╱ gender possibly ╱ birthday december 13, 1999 ╱ birthchart sagittarius sun aquarius moon leo rising ╱ hometown hongdae, seoul ╱ orientation bisexual, androsexual lean ╱ personality outgoing, playful, confident, thrill-seeking, sarcastic, impulsive, stubborn, hot-tempered, curious ╱ faceclaim choi san ( ateez ) & hwang yeji ( itzy ) ╱ character inspo post ponytail zuko & sokka ( atla ), jordan li ( gen v ), beast boy & starfire ( dc titans )

✩ HEADCANONS. tw: far too many avatar the last airbender references.

raised with manners, so they're very respectful. especially of their elders and women. they don't eat first when elders are present, they offer assistance with tasks ( normally being the first to jump to help someone ), they tend to offer to listen to someones worries, etc.

since their power is based on internal balance an yin and yang, they can be found doing a lot of activities around campus to clear their mind from time to time. ranging from yoga in the morning, to sketching, jogging, endurance workouts, forcing themself to relax, and burning incense. think uncle iroh but as a modern day, 23 year old college student. when their energy ( chi ) isn't balanced, they experience disharmony, a very tiring process that causes the typical results of disharmony except ... personified. so gender switching to female, being depressed, stressed and anxious with tummy issues ( normal hot girl sh*t imo ) all at the same time and against their will etc.

contrary to how i explain them, they are not as calm, collected nor as wise as uncle iroh. they more so have the personality of zuko, around when he started being hot and also sokka. so sarcastic, awkward, still a hot head, playfully, clumsy, and always cracking a joke or two. the vibes of a beloved leader that probably shouldn’t be leading.

they're wanderlust coded. i have this weird headcanon of them, where its a day off and they just turn off their phone at night and go for a walk in the city and just exist, looking at the city lights, sitting and looking at the river, grabbing ice cream even though its cold out side and then eventually heading back to the dorms as if they didn't just disappear for a few hours without a word. they definitely do this often too, while eating some cheap buy buy one get one snack they bought at the a convenience store.

despite how they may act sometimes, they love skinship; on that note, physical touch & quality time are their love languages.

silly but their side of the dorm follows the rules of feng shui and they’d probably playfully nag their roommate ( or any friend really ) to let them just to rearrange one of their things so their stuff fits in the room a little better.

following the ( TW ) death of their grandmother, they fell into the deepest depression and stopped wearing the patch for a while, ( no longer than a month ). the extremely negative emotions they faced kept them female the entire time, but soon enough they caught feelings for someone. feeling happier, they started the went back on the patch again. in the crudest tldr; they got their heart broken pretty badly. they decided to go off of the nullivi patch one last time after falling head over heels for a normal person. the showed them their ability, and just to be completely truthful about who they were, they shifted. it backfired pretty quickly and they were shunned, shamed and rejected. this is one incident they still struggle with letting go, and it currently affects how they view / form relationships.

they don't hate nullivi but they don't like it either. it messes with their internal balance which can make it tough to use their powers later and requires a pretty strict regimen when off of nullivi to balance their energies again.

They actively seek connections. They’d give anything to connect and have someone understand them, deeply and intrinsically without feeling like they’re being judged for who they are. They want to be able to open up and have someone see them for them; for whats really the inside and not just whats the outside, no matter what form they may take.

* more coming soon, only one braincell is on shift tonight .

✩ WANTEDPLOTS. *more plots en route.

CRUSH : it starts with those shy glances across the room and before they know it , all of a sudden all of the songs they listen to were about your muse. for some reason, your muse has caught jinsol's eye. your muse gives them butterflies, hope even, but they don't call it a crush for nothing. ( possible routes: unrequited & requited ) SPRING FLING : what you had was quick and fun, and meaningless. in the end, there was a clear agreement from both sides that it was no strings attached, hence a clean break was expected. so why does it feel weird watching you walk by them without a word? and why does it sting to see you with someone else? THE DREADED GROUP PROJECT : lets be real, no one in this group ever really liked each other. Since the start of the semester they've kept a pretty good distance from each other, but despite their best efforts, this year they share a class and even worse they've been partnered together for a group project. their final grade is literally dependent on them working together and fast. will they do suck it up long enough to pass ? ( 0 / 2 ) A RIVAL : no need for formalities here. this is someone they just can't seem to see eye to eye with. your muse is someone who sees their presence as a threat and/or vice versa. it could be a friendly rivalry, or a genuine grudge filled feud. whatever it is, bring on the angst ! ( * would be great for rival muses in other rally houses ) TRAINER: someone they can honestly throw down with. as a member of samjoko, they're constantly trying to find new ways to use their abilities to their advantage. whether its through regular hand to hand combat or testing the limits of their powers, they crave the power to propel samjoko's reputation further and feel like its their sole responsibility to harness said power. EX: a recent ex that broke them / or / the person they broke . the first person they sorta came out to about everything. their playlist has to be full of sad-ish songs for a reason right? this person is the reason, the reason for their glow up in public, and glow down in private. the break up could've been they're fault, could've been the other persons. all they know is... they hate that they still think about your muse as often as they do. OTHERS : fellow members of samjoko, other residents in blue dorm, the usual fwb/ewb, enemies, childhood friend, friend groups, acquaintances, roommate etc connections. maybe people in the same major/classes, or another club of some kind?

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤDo you wish to make a connection? ▶︎ YES.ㅤㅤㅤ NO.

#nm:intro #⁺ 𝐉𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐎𝐋 ₊ / intro

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furiousgoldfish · 7 months

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Do you have any advice for how to manage stress and like constant fear? Or maybe advice about what I should do? (Tw suicide, not mine) My younger sister is severely suicidal and depressed and I've been talking to her every night and sleeping on her floor to stop her from killing herself and I keep talking to my parents about how she needs to go to therapy but they aren't doing anything and they haven't for over a year. My mom told me that it's not my place to decide what's best for my sister. And my dad said that because I'm only 17 I don't know anything about this but I've begged them like five or six times and they still don't believe me. My mom insists I'm being over dramatic and it's my fault that her and my dad talking to my younger sister like 1 time didn't make it better. But they won't talk to my sister at all if I don't or help her and my younger sister has tried to attempt before so I think we need to talk to her more than once? I guess It seems pretty clear to me that my younger sister should go to therapy but maybe I'm thinking about this wrong? Idk. Um. So I guess I just feel really overwhelmed because I've tried asking my siblings for help about my sister and one of my sister's said they wish my younger sister had never been born so we wouldn't have to deal with this (which made it pretty clear she doesn't want to help. Also she's done exactly 0 things to help she just gets inconvenienced by the very idea she might have to and things won't revolve around her problems for like 2 seconds) and my oldest sister who's married and moved out I talked with but now she wont do anything anymore because my parents told her to back off after my mom went on a huge spiel about how I'm over dramatic and blowing things out of porportion and my oldest sister has no right to do anything because she doesn't have legal custody. I don't know. My entire family talks to me about their stress and worries and concerns and I shouldn't be so upset about my younger sister cause I'm used to it but I'm scared all the time that the moment I fall asleep she's actually going to hurt herself so I try to stay up all night to listen for her and I just don't know how to manage the stress and get her help. My parents homeschool us and I don't get to leave the house by myself cause my mom is convinced I'll get murdered. So idk who to talk to or how or even if I should. I don't think this is really abuse, cause my parents haven't hit us and I don't really fit the criteria for emotional abuse either according to your masterlist, (I mean my sister has hit me a few times (not the one moved out) but siblings are different) but idk. It's still trauma? Maybe. Unless it's not? I don't know. Maybe my mom is right. Sorry if this is rambly and weird im just really tired.

Hey, from what I'm reading here, you're the entire's family emotional support, you take all of the stress and complaints from everyone, you alone are responsible for your sister's continuation of life, and you are not even allowed to leave the house, because your mom is worried you'll get killed? And you got hit, but you don't think that was serious?

There is so much stress on you, I'm worried that you might get pushed under the edge. I can sense your utter desperation in saving your sister's life, and that comes from a place of deep compassion, concern, and kinship with your family member. I can tell you'd do anything to save her, and you fear that if she dies, it will be your fault.

But it can't be. Because you alone cannot be responsible for what others do. You've already done everything. You've asked every other person for help, you've raised the alarm, you've been trying to help her, you can't even sleep at night. It cannot be expected of you to go to these lengths, be in this amount of stress, for prolonged amounts of time, even when someone's life is in question. You are not a suicide line, you're not an institution that provides support and watch over people who might do something to themselves, you're not in control.

I believe you're under too much stress and that nobody has any compassion for what you're going through. If even one person cared, they would have helped your sister and watched over her for you. They would have shared the responsibility of saving her and wouldn't make you the sole person responsible. If your sister does, in the worst case scenario, die, you will be the only one who isn't responsible, who's already done everything to prevent it. The fault will be on everyone else.

You seem to be in a prolonged crisis, and I'm not actually equipped to help someone in a crisis like this, so I can't tell you what to do - or rather, I think you've done enough. You've been through enough stress, enough apathy, enough pain. You've been left alone to suffer through this stress, even though you've expressed how scared and anxious you are, and asked for help.

You being kept inside the house at all times, is a form of physical abuse, I should have added it to the checklists - it's a form of violence to restrict your movements. It doesn't make any sense that you will be killed if you step out, when everyone else can walk freely. You are being parentified, and used as an emotional resource, instead of cared for and raised as a loved and nurtured child.

This list has a category of 'parentification', I hope you can find some resources there. I believe you are being abused, and you were taught that it doesn't matter if it happens to you.

I hope you manage to get some sleep. I'm so sorry you were put into this situation, you are not responsible for this. Your parents should be taking this stress, not you. You cannot be responsible for anyone's continuation of life, and being put in a situation where it's expected of you, will break you. This is not on you.

#tw suicide #tw being responsible for preventing suicide #tw child used as a suicide prevention measure #parentification #abuse #psychological abuse #apathy #exploitation #fear mongering #preventing children from leaving the house by fear mongering #upsetting #child abuse #abusive parents #abusive family #abusive siblings

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sttoru · 7 months

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Girly idk how I wasn't following you still, tumblr isn't stupid, I'm sorry that you are feeling on the outskirts of the fandom as well. You are a wonderful person and writer, and I'm glad you’ve been growing as you have been. You deserve so much more love!! 💕

It does make me feel like there is something wrong with me or like in off putting when i see several big blogs talking to each other, boosting each other. But then I drop in, just say hi to be friendly, only to be ignored. When they are literally responding to various anons or other people.

It seems like they want to talk to everyone else but me. Which has me feeling like I'm in the wrong, I'm bothersome and unwanted in the fandom space. They don't have to talk to me, but my feelings are still gonna be hurt at being shunned by 90% of the blogs I try to interact with.

It does kill my motivation since I don't want to be seen as someone who just posts. I want to be seen as a friend and someone to talk to.

I understand that some people get along better than others. But damn so many people are having this problem it seems like. It's boiling down to popular blogs like other popular blogs, boost other popular blogs and they stay the main people in the fandom eyes whole everyone sits quietly in the side just wanting to be partly including

Feel free to rant right back if need be. Cause I get needing to get this shit off your chest, cause I sure as hell needed to

hiii feyyy !!! dwww, it’s all good :> thank u sm for ur nice words aaaaaaa u r as well, one of the writers on here that i respect 4 their hard work !

gonna vent a bit haha need to get some things off my chest too like u said;

i get ur first point!! it sucks rlly. especially when you are the first one reaching out (which takes a lot of courage, especially for someone socially awkward like me lol) and then it hurts DOUBLE because you get ignored. i get ittttt rlly. for me, i always try to reply ppl even if im a bit late because im either thinking of a proper response or am distracted or busy , but i never intentionally ignore anyone interacting with me. i know some ppl on here do bcs they don’t feel entitled to respond to comments or anons or whatev, which is like ? ok. but if it’s someone just being friendly and complimenting you / your work … it’s not hard to reply w a form of gratitude . some rlly think they’re celebrities on here and it needs to stop

and it’s understandable and totally valid to feel like you’re being shunned and unwanted by people you just want to befriend , only for them to ignore you / not interact with you but with everyone else :/ it sucks and ppl don’t seem to realise that it could hurt other’s feelings. i hope you know that you’re not unwanted tho! those people are just… idk, a bit weird (ofc im only talking abt people who INTENTIONALLY ignore others)

findjng a friend on tumblr with the same interest is like a chore. you either click instantly or you think you do, only for it to be fore 2 interactions max and then you go back to ignoring each other basically on dash

AND YOUR LAST POINTS!! so true. its that the more popular blogs just stick together and help each other out when ??? there are smaller blogs of writers / artists just sittng in the sidelines like ‘ok so what do i have to do to gain traction if the people with a bit of bigger platforms are totally ignoring me & my works’

it’s actually tiring. ofc, me having 3k followers — i am suuuuper grateful, not complaining much, but i also know how it feels. my notifications are super dry except for mainly likes, my dms are like a desert, inbox is 98% only of anons who drop requests and then leave without leaving anything else. no one to talk to, except for people who leave a comment every once in a while :/

like u may think bcs i have decent following i actually gain more interactions? not rlly. only likes & sometimes reblogs w tags. that’s all really, i don’t really have anyone on here who i consider a close online friend (as much as this sounds sad & cringy LMAOO) but its tiring to see everyone be so close to each other on dash while im on the side like ‘how nice it must be to get that much interaction’

& im sure there are people who r gonna say ‘just interact with them’ I DO and i either get left on read or they respond dryly / or i don’t get the same energy back. bcs sometimes im reluctant to reach out first because it always ends up w me taking the initiative & i end up looking desperate to get an interaction with a mutual LOL

anyways thinking abt this tumblr writing community makes my head ache bcs of all the things ive seen and experienced on here (also on my prev account which i had for 2 years)

#𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒.#ANYWAYS……. this was a long vent #thank u fey xoxo #i can rant abt this for hours on end on a vc i think #and go in depth #tis crazy

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i-cant-stop-fandoming-help · 3 months

Text

Hanahaki (Words better left unsaid(?))

Fuck it i'm splitting it into parts. this is part one. ALL OF IT IS IN ONE DOC THATS SEVEN PAGES LONG AND STILL NOT COMPLETE. HERE'S THE FIRST FOUR PAGES.

Anyways this is filled with headcanons because only the MSS demo is out. HERE YOU GO BORIS I HOPE YOU LIKE FUCKING. CHUBEE BEING ANTISOCIAL OR WHATEVER IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT.

EAT THE ANGST WHILE I GO AND MAKE MYSELF SOMETHING TO EAT FOR I HUNGER.

also a friend and I wrote a fic with our OCs that involved Hanahaki like. 2 years ago. And the resolve of that fic was that the sickly person lost their memory and thats how the hanahaki was rid of. and i liked that idea so Input "FORGETTING UR LOVED ONES WILL CURE YOU OF THE FLOWERS!!!" in here.

Uhhh tw for Hanahaki, memory loss caused by concussion, and idk what else. please ask me if you need something tagged cuz i genuinely have no idea what to tag.

also i had to replay all the routes in the demo so I could do my best to write the personalities. I mainly just like kicking chubee while he's down because. idk actually. ig its just cuz i like him as a character? I'm really tired

im going to stop rambling pls just read this so i can get back to working on the second part AND my other angst fics. and the singular happy fic in my WIP collection.

Ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump. Chubee knew the feeling well. Ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump. His heart was pounding, and his stomach was spinning about. Ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump. Rongdien was snort-laughing at Matu, who had tripped over Aloiki’s fake tail and fallen flat on his face.

Rongdien was one of the hardest of the group to make friends with, it took the beekeeper a while to figure out how to make them grin. While everyone else was somewhat open with their interests, they had remained stone-faced.

That frustrated Chubee, although he hated showing it. Deep down, he felt that he was only good for jokes and “therapy”. Nobody really cared about him, nobody wanted to know what he was interested in, or what he had gone through in life. So when someone didn’t see him as good for either, he could only feel hollow. If he didn’t have a purpose, why should he live?

The red-head glanced at the blonde, gaze clouding with confusion. “You’re staring, ‘Bee. Why are you staring, Chubee.” Their voice wasn’t loud, but it was commanding enough to make Chubee stand up straight.

“Sorry, Mx. ‘dien.” He tried for a grin, but it was hard to manage. Their amber eyes were sharp, piercing him through and making his knees wobble, making it hard for him to stand.

“Why are you staring.” Rongdien repeated, making the beekeeper attempt to straighten up even moreso.

“Don’t see you laugh often, is all!” There was something bitter rising in his throat, and his breath was growing hard. “I don’t feel so well, though.” He kept the grin up as he backed up, the bitterness growing.

He booked it. Chubee ran down the halls, ran towards his room. He slammed his door open as fast as he could, before his knees buckled. Petals flooded out of his mouth, that of the red windflower. Typically, he would’ve stared in awe, but they were coming from his mouth.

“No, no, no.” He whispered, tears welling in his eyes. He had this sickening curse once before, back before he graduated, and someone else had to tell him years later.

“You had this sickness. “Hanahaki”, I believe it is called. You were spewing up entire bouquet’s worth of purple petals.

Chubee was unusually still. His hands weren’t patting his knees, his foot wasn’t tapping the ground, his eye wasn’t twitching.

“It was weird that you were missing so much school, y’know. Everyone was worried, even…” the brunette paused, her lips pursing. “Even Pedro.”

The name hung in the air, and she stared at him like he was about to spew out an entire flower again.

“Maria, it’s fiiiineeeee!” He hated how his voice wavered, “I’m over it. You know how? I got a concussion.”

Maria’s eyebrows furrowed, and she looked at him quizzically. “How would that help?!”

The blonde just shrugged, taking off his gloves and touching his fingers to his palm repeatedly. “I had a talk with Carmen,” he tried to keep any and all emotion out of his tone. “ ‘Pparently, forgetting the one you love helps. It’s why I didn’t show up for the rest of the year, either.”

She still bore a concerned expression, and Chubee itched with discomfort. He never knew how to react whenever someone showed concern for him.

“Y’know, Carmen has a killer throw. Never trust ‘em with a tennis ball, you’ll regret it.” Shivers went down his spine, but he tried to sound like he was joking. “Knocked me straight out. Only knew he did it because he was next to me at the hospital.”

Maria glanced out the window– the sun was setting, and it caused a beautiful gradient to cover her face. Blue, pink, orange, and then yellow. “He said you got a bad concussion, and everyone wanted to see you… Many people are fond of you, Garcia.”

Chubee had no retort to make, as much as he wish he did.

“At the beginning of the school year, when the teacher made us do an introduction assignment… a lot of people remembered your interest in beekeeping from that day. It’s why Jaime got you the bee plushie, and why Lucia and I saved up to get you those bee-themed pixie lights.” She raised a finger, pointing at his hat– the one he always wore. “It’s why Antonio got you that.”

Chubee snapped back to the present, he had lingered on that memory for too long. What purpose had there been to think back to it? He already knew that he just needed to forget. Forgetting was a lot easier than opening up about his feelings.

“You blood-havers are strange.” A metallic, squeaky, voice rang from above him.

He jolted, looking above and wiping his mouth. “Estelia.” He muttered, his tone bitter with hatred.

The robot just giggled, hovering in the air before staring at the petals. “That’s gross. Humans are gross.”

She began to ramble, but he cut her off as keeled over, pressing his palms into the hardwood flooring and cringing as more petals spilled out of his mouth, accompanied by dots of blood.

“You should see a doctor.” Estelia vanished after saying that, although her steel-cold giggles still echoed about in the halls.

Chubee ignored that comment. He was too busy thinking about who could help him forget.

Maybe Carolia could hit him on the head, whether it be with fist or hammer. Carolia never did seem to like others, so perhaps he wouldn’t ask questions.

There was a knock at his doorway, and dread filled his chest.

“Nice petals.” The voice was monotone, uninterested, and yet somewhat amused. “I don’t see that every day.”

Chubee did his best to gain his composure, but it was difficult.

“Mina says hi, by the way.” the brunette crouched down, patting Chubee on the back. “I can see if any of Mina’s medicine can help with the petals. With all the medicine substitution needed in my field, I’m sure I have something that could aid.”

Mezsha stood up with furrowed eyebrows, pulling Chubee up by the hood of his jacket. “But,” she continued after a long inhale. “It won’t be a permanent solution. There are three ways to survive this. But there are four ways to come out of this sickness.”

His throat was dry as he spoke. “How can I survive?”

Mina chortled at Chubee’s voice, which stung slightly, but it wasn’t important at the moment. Mezsha seemed to be thinking.

“Well,” She said after a few minutes, “I’ll dumb this down as much as I can, for your sake. The first way you can survive is by confessing your feelings– but your feelings must be returned. Obviously.”

The bee-keeper buzzed softly, kicking at the petals and pursing his lips. His parents stopped showing care for him long ago, and it taught him something. Never, ever, be honest with your feelings. Even in a life or death situation, don’t be honest. It’ll just hurt you in the end.

“The second way is surgery. I’m the only one here capable of performing such a feat– at least, without you risking some sort of infection. Also, I don’t know if the others would be able to perform it right. This is the most simple way, especially with how you’ll lose your feelings after, but you’ll have to place a lot of trust in me.”

Mina squealed and swiped the air.

“And, no, Mina won’t be in the room for it. That would be unsanitary.”

The blonde buzzed in amusement, rolling his shoulders. “Thanks for the reassurance. Really makes the idea less scary.”

The veterinarian stared at Chubee, a small spark of entertainment darting through her honey-yellow eyes. “Do not use sarcasm against me, Garcia. Moving on, the third way to survive such a condition is to—”

“Lose your memory.” The words burst out of his mouth, and as soon as he realized he cut her off, he took a few steps back. “Sorry.”

Mezsha’s glasses slipped down the bridge of her nose, her eyes narrowed as she stared at the beekeeper. “Most people don’t know about that, how do you?”

Chubee had never been as honest as he had been in that moment. Words spilled out without a stop put to them, and it felt like he was going to crumple over. He explained everything, how he had had the disease once before, and how a classmate told him that memory loss would help, and how the concussion left him hospitalized for a month– the last month of the school year.

He explained how hard it was for him to be honest with his emotions, because it never felt like anyone would ever care. How all the tears he forced down were trapped because he didn’t want to be picked on for crying, how he was scared of anyone getting too close because he might become attached and he didn’t want to grieve when he was abandoned.

He could only stop when his hyperventilation became too much to speak through, and it was then that he realized how nice it felt to cry. To let all he bottled up, flow out. And his words hung in the air, only interrupted by his sharp sobs and sharp, uneven, breath.

Inhale, inhale, inhale, inhale, exhale, exhale, in. He could almost feel Mezsha’s pitiful gaze, he didn’t have to look up. Exhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. His heart was pumping, and tears dripped off of his chin and to the hardwood tile. Inhale, exhale, inhale, inhale, exhale.

A fluffy heap was pushed into his chest.

“Bah!” It was a tiny, yet high-pitched, roar. Mina.

He wrapped an arm around the bear cub, tears clearing from his vision as he spoke gently. “Oh, hello there, Mina…”

Mina chortled again, turning her head to stare at her care-taker. “Raaah?”

Mezsha’s jaw was tight, and her eyebrows were furrowed together. “Keep holding Mina until you calm down. Petting her may help.” Her voice was much softer than usual, even with a hint of sorrow in it.

Chubee’s breath slowed down bit by bit, and tears were no longer welling in his eyes. His eyes stung from dryness, and his cheeks were burning from the lament.

“Thank you for opening up.”

He looked up, and Mezsha was slightly crouched to his height. Her eyes were damp with sympathy, and her irises were much more of a marigold color.

His words caught in his throat for a mere second. “I shouldn’t have.”

Mezsha tapped her finger against the wall, her gaze clouding and growing distant. “No, it’s okay. Bottling up emotions will never do you any good, and it will only cause harm.”

A snarky comment came to mind, but he let Mezsha continue.

“But you should not be forced to confess your feelings, or to let others know at all times how you truly feel. So perhaps we should head back to the original topic.”

“That would be appreciated.” Chubee’s voice was nothing more than a whisper.

----

#Mission Scarlet Stars #Mezsha Hurse #Chubee Garcia #Can you believe Mezsha's name is pronounced like. Mee-sha or whatever.#Aloiki and Matu make an appearance but don't speak #Estelia doesnt have a last name so #Rongdien chén #I AM TIRED AND I AM HUNGRY #i have written hanahaki ONCE before

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emetkoto · 1 year

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what's the emetkoto time loop au? i wanna hear your ideas about it!

I AM SO VERY GLAD YOU ASKED!!!!!!! its a fun little idea ive been kicking around in my head for a long time now on and off that drives me insane :) long story short its basically what it sounds like! after the dying gasp k'oto goes to bed.....and wakes up several days/weeks earlier :) everything goes the same way and then. it happens again! and again! and again!

long story LONG ofc eventually K'oto picks up on what's happening, it cant just be a weird recurring nightmare this has really been happening and its wearing him down bc uh, duh he's literally failed to save and had to kill his soulmate repeatedly now!! so he starts trying to change things...do things differently say things differently try to push for a different ending but unknown to him is that emet-selch is also aware of what they've found themselves trapped in and while k'oto believes that emet is the one who needs to be saved to break the loop, emet believes the opposite that its K'OTO who is the one who needs to be freed and thus he's reluctant to work with k'oto and keeps forcing bad ends bc he believes so strongly that hes right...they try just about everything except for any sort of ending where emet selch concedes and recognizing hes wrong bc that just cant be right ofc not!! eventually thought theyre both so tired and upset that emet selch cant keep up his "i dont know whats going on youre insane" act and they get into it a bit and hes blaming k'oto for not being cooperative and letting him kelp them both out of this completely ignoring all the times they DID try the ending emet selch thought was right that still caused a new loop and k'oto has to Call him a hypocrite like 'we have tried literally everything EXCEPT MY WAY why are you making this so DIFFICULT!!!! let me SAVE YOU PLEASE!!!!' and begs him like full on tears and exhaustion BEGGING because he jsut wants it to be over so they can be happy and emet gives in and they try things his way and it works because of course it does :,)

the thought ive had about how it all works lately is like. dynamis combined with the massive amount of aether at play during the dying gasp and k'otos feelings of wanting a better ending, another chance to make it right all coming together into some kind of forbidden magic being unknowingly casted...recurring thought of some sort of hourglass holding their souls and controlling the loop putting them and everyone else linked to them and the whole situation (so basically just the scions and anyone else they talked to in the few weeks that keep looping..also due to the dynamis-y nature of the magic emet selch is unable to break the spell or figure out how it works until way later) into sort of a stasis-y pocket dimension-y thing...their conflict makes things start to break down and by the end its like they need to figure this out or they and everyone else will basically die...yeah mostly i just keep thinking about a dramatic amv esque shot of them embracing as they make the decision to trust each other and go around one more time to make it right at last and the hourglass shattering as theyre freed. im normal

#words of mimi #emetkoto

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enhaheeseung · 2 years

Text

So as I said I would like to make a post as to why I’m thinking about deleting this account before like I said I was dead set on it but now I’m not sure but here are a few reasons for why I’m contemplating it

Number one Im really wishy washy one moment I’ll be so confident in a plot or a story but as I post it I feel like it’s not good enough or I could have done better than I start getting these irrational thoughts like it’s bad or embarrassing and finally I get to the point where I stop writing (hints my 40 drafts)

Another reason is feeling like I have to rush something out even though no one demands me to write and post for some reason I feel obligated or I’m gonna lose readers if I don’t like I said I know I’m the only one that feels that way buts it’s a big hindering point for me

Something else is when I don’t get many comments or asks I feel unimportant like I put a lot of time work and effort for little feedback which is once again all in my head cause you all are literally the best and even if I had just one follower that enjoyed my writing I’d continue for them cause the joy I feel when someone tells me that my writing makes their day is immeasurable

Also I really don’t have any friends on here like there’s no one that I talk to or have connected with and that plays into another on of my problems is that it may seem stupid but I miss my older readers not saying I don’t like my new followers just as much but it’s different when you kinda get to know someone and then they’re are just gone which also makes me feel like a hypocrite cause I’m literally thinking about leaving

Anyways it all sounds really ridiculous if you think about it I mean I just made this account to write but I didn’t know what others things I’d encounter here but the best way I can describe it is I feel lonely and I think that was one of the main reasons for my lack of motivation but I can’t blame anyone cause you all have lives going on and they don’t stop just cause someone posts a fic on tumblr

So those are the more app base problems that I have but as for life in general it’s been really tough all around when I made this account I was only part time but as months went by people from my job quit so I was able to pick up more hours and more hours means more money now typically forty hour jobs are the norm but for me it’s been really tough cause I got hired in October (the day before heeseung’s birthday lol hehe anyways) and my immune system is very weak so I was shifting between first and third shift till October so you could imagine what that was like and it’s still not that much better because of this I don’t eat on proper schedule cause I get home and im so tired I just fall asleep and miss dinner leaving only one meal a day which is lunch with all that being said I’ve lost a significant amount of weight and energy overall so I think that also has a lot to do with my mental status I’ve really just been completely out of it today I was just on auto pilot and it felt terrible cause I had no control over how I feel

I have a lot of emotional stress and family issues that are really bad but I will not talk about that here I typically take out my stress by working and doing things which is the worst way to cope cause my body can not take all the stress I endure nor my mind I’ll usually workout or work extra hard and push myself beyond the limit cause somehow that makes me feel hopeful and motivated to not give up it’s weird but it works

It’s also weird to talk about this here but I feel everyone deserves an explanation for why I feel like leaving

A big problem of mine I’m a huge people pleaser like to an extent that’s almost troubling so I always try my best to accommodate everyone and guess who that leaves on the back burner

And that’s a big problem cause I should always put myself first but I didn’t as I stated before I wrote two of my favorite stories “popcorn” and “angel” angel took ten hours while popcorn took about seven “train ride home” also falls into the category of works I made in just one day I was so excited to post them for everyone hoping it would get a good response and to please my readers at the expanse of me using my whole day off just to write one fic

Overworking has been my downfall since I can remember like I mentioned some time ago I work till the point of satisfaction I push myself to the limit to test myself even if I know I can do it I still have to put my body under some type of physical pain until I’m satisfied an example of this would be a few years ago I used to do sprinting I still do just not as often but I was so driven to beat my previous record that I was out till midnight I ran the same course too many times to count so many times I gave myself a cramp and still kept going I didn’t stop until I beat my record with a cramp and all

This leads me to my stubbornness I just can’t stop even with writers block I continually try to write stories that’s why I didn’t feel like taking a break was an option cause if I know myself I’d just go back and back time and time again in the past I mentioned taking breaks but I never really did I just didn’t post for awhile behind the scenes I was still in fact writing

After awhile I think the positive feedback really kept me wanting to post something about the notifications was almost like an addiction so I kept posting and posting till I eventually went through everything all my plots and idea’s poof gone but I still wanted to please everyone so I continued to post even when I felt it was sub par

I only have a few works I’m proud of but I still beat myself up cause they could have been better overall it’s just I don’t know how to explain it or what’s going on it even feels strange to me one minute I’m up next minute I’m down I think there’s a lot of things to attribute this to such as my lifestyle and just getting older but who really knows

Ultimately the biggest reason is I just feel like I’m not good enough I think that’s what it really boils down to unfortunately I know I’m way too hard on myself and it’s really not this deep but I can’t help it I wanted to share this with everyone to let you know that I really tried my best

And when my best isn’t good enough I can’t help but feel disappointed with myself I’m a perfectionist as well so that doesn’t help my situation in conclusion I’m having a mental battle with myself I think if I can get in tune with my body and mind I could come back stronger and better but as of right now that’s going to take all my effort I am currently working on all these problems I mentioned

Even though it was very tough for me to share my mind with the world it has also been healing and a great experience at times I’m glad there’s a platform for like minded people to meet without any judgement and hostility I’m greatful to everyone who has followed my tumblr journey all I can say is I love you all🤎

Sincerely your hee simp president

#feels a little better to say a few of these things #but as I mentioned saying how I feel is so fucking hard bro #i keep my emotions to myself for so long I don’t know how to let them out and that fucking sucks big man ass tbh🤣#if you made it to the end thank you for your time #once again I love you all so much🤎#the time I spent with everyone here was the absolute best just a reminder that you are all amazing all twelve hundred and fifty of you 🤎

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red-dyed-sarumane · 1 year

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what the fuck is up with akire ocs. masterpost made way too quick while i need to sleep. i was going to add images but im tired feel free to look at the toyhouse pages tho

723 - behavioral issues. by choice. shes just like that.

aira - trapped in xeir own personal ever changing hell. like literally xi is stuck in a world that feeds off of & changes based on fears.

aisha - killed by her best friend.

alstroemeria - selectively mute until an injury made her permanently mute. often mistreated by people who think they know best bc she can't verbally argue with them

amari - she is willingly in such a fucked up relationship. constantly being framed by and the subject of bad rumors from her gf (fuyue)

amaryllis - no one listened to her or took her seriously so she ran away & when no one came to look for her realized no one really cared anyway! (isolation)

ash - was trapped in the same hell world as aira but made a deal to get out. her morals are destroyed from it & she tries to trap others in the world so she doesnt have to go back

cestria - idk what her deal is. shes just violent. hashtag influencer things i guess

cherry - u know what i dont think she has any. hm.

chime - no sense of self. theyre exclusively a mirror, intentional or not, of the people around them

chira - commits to the bit too much. will exploit people for views

cleo - refuses to get involved even when she can help. she only wants the scoop on drama

crian - currently, she beats herself up over not being able to help void before they ran away & thinks its partly her fault

daelryc - trust issues

dusk - naturally more violent than ur average person. also trapped against her will

feisha - family issues only fushia knows about. they wont talk about it to anyone else.

fjahva - his mom hates him. he gets kicked out if he tries to come back home. among other mistreatments

flora - trapped against her will & forced to participate in ethically questionable experiments

fushia - mild childhood bullying

fuyue - everything (no). malicious, petty thief, constantly lying for her own amusement, frames her gf for her crimes, blackmails, etc etc etc. why? shes bored

glacia - bully. manipulator. potential murderer but she hasnt stooped that low yet

greeml - theyre self conscious of their ears bc theyre pointy. thats like their worst problem. bc i love them

hanabi - social media poisoned mind. shes not an influencer she just needs to get offline

helix - playboy. self obsessed. used his own blessings on himself enough the other deities demoted him to demigod.

iono - despite neither of her parents being qualified to care for a kid she surprisingly doesnt have any serious problems

iraidis - carrying the weight of being rejected by several generations of people & erasure of proof of her existence

itsumi - shut in by choice & lost all her communication skills. very familiar with escapism

jade - idk i havent thought about it enough yet

keppi - also carrying the weight of generational rejection and erasure

kin - theres just so much wrong with her. she's taking herself down and the world with her. or just kinako. either works

kinako - straight up no will to live she endures whatever kin does to her. or doesnt. she dies a lot.

konome - orphan? lives in the woods with his sister & causes problems for people (""natural"" disasters)

kumo - god complex (they are not a god). the fact they arent dead is a miracle bc they are so stupid and bold and rash

kyeslu - weird girl. no one hates her per se but no one really gets along with her either.

lavender - also trapped in her own hell world

lilium - cave explorer. in the tundra. i think that counts.

linesus - (my sister :) ) well. shes dead. guess she had worm farming trauma too idk

lyra - bullied :(

lyrica - also in personal hell world

maien - shes just massively unlucky.

malshay - power complex (is that what its called??) needs to prove shes better than everyone.

manayo - causes problems on purpose. shes a fox demon she can do what she want tho

meimu - haha trauma of dying repeatedly while the worlds falling apart etc etc shes an aru sekai fan oc thats all i need to say

meision - idk i need to think about her more

meringue - got mad once (unfairly discharged from her job) and now shes a serial killer. hashtag girlboss or whatever

meshika - orphan? lives in the forest with her brother causing problems for people. has definitely killed people but good luck proving it

mkoom - victim of capitalism

nuria - disrespected & killed. now carries the stress of maintaining an entire world with her mind

oken - trauma (?) of turning into a cat against his will

paolo - would rather be a bird than a person

pomgara - distrusted & frustrated by it so shes rather sharp

refrichi - trauma of using her ability. not only accidentally killing people but also casual self harm so she can protect herself (she controls blood. if that makes it make more sense)

rhonda - unsuited to her home country & the problems that come with that. not necessarily stockholmed but she did fall in love with a serial killer

roselii - bad home life. she's overprotective bc of it

ryuusei - isolation of being in space only to come to earth & have to act like a celebrity

sarlina - blank spots in her life bc her ability consumes memories if shes not careful.

saturday - petty.

saturn - burden of maintaining balance in the world. emotionally isolated bc of it

scarlet - bully manipulator liar etc etc and all for her own gain. started bc she didnt want to get punished for bad grades & then she never stopped

sepheria - trust issues. emotional isolation bc shes from a different time period & no one will understand

sera - forced into a sort of celebrity type role he didnt want

seyla - idk what to say here she doesnt really cause problems & she doesnt really have any. mischievous at most

shaia - abandoned his duties as the weight of them was too much. somehow still a deity regardless

sometya - doesnt like people. scaredy cat. yet theyre always off exploring other worlds

sora - ability related trauma. naturally a kind hearted person but she's killed people & it haunts her

teila - tired of rejection she'll promise anything to get her way. ironically shes a shitty mom who rejected her son

tobio - trust issues & quick to argue.

towaka - accidentally got herself trapped in a video game & no longer has control over herself or a way to communicate

vanilla - fear of the unknown & stays in an area that frustrates her bc of it

viridia - victim of her own sister, verbally tormented, tricked into going places she shouldnt & losing important items bc of her only to come home and get told her sister wouldnt do that she should be more like her.

void - we've been over this. bullying into a mental breakdown into 8 years of physical and emotional isolation

wyndi - also carrying the weight of generations of rejection & erasure

xeli - victim of various poisoning attempts that dont work bc theyre immune

yuclenya - isekai'd into a world she knew nothing about, didnt speak the language, was cornered by people looking for a fight, only found out she had an ability when she used it out of fear & it thoroughly cut up her hands

#akire's ocs #i should pick up alter world stuff again. it would be cool if i could figure out how to execute it right #anyway we are going to ignore the implications of repeated themes & just go 'wow! characters!'#kind of sad the cats took over as ultimate partnership bc lyra & sepheria had an interesting relationship #bond with ur gf by taking her back in time to escape her bullies #i feel bad bc i have a lot of disconnected stories in the same world & people like to complain about others doing that #i guess its okay bc i only draw them once wvery 5 years anyway #if u want story specifics for anyone u can ask btw. since i never say much anywhere

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outeremissary · 1 year

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PFKM for the thing. gimme the god tier Emi Opinions

It took me long enough to type this up to get the question a second time whoops

[Image ID: An ask from kuroimarzipan reading "someones gotta ask u about kingmaker for the fandom ask meme and im gonna be that person"]

Buckle up, everyone, because this will be very long, variably coherent, and likely things a lot of folks have heard before!

Favorite Male Character

[Image ID: A three part meme taken from the Simpsons. In the first picture, a group gathers around Bart's desk, saying "Say the line, Emi!" In the second, Bart says "Tristian" with a dejected face of resignation. In the final image the class cheers around the despondent Bart.]

I know I have a certain reputation. The reputation for having lost my sanity and likely my dignity as well on account of that pathetic priest. That guy haunts me in ways you can't imagine. That guy was the cause of some strain with my ex, who was very tired of hearing about Tristian. It has destroyed any respect my irl friends have for me. And I think the worst part is that I don't even even think he's attractive. I find his face dull and in every way he's not at all my type. It would be better if this was just a mind lost to horny thing I think.

Anyway. For better or worse I'm in it with this guy for the forseeable future, and I have a Lot Of Thoughts About That. I know I've said before that when I started Kingmaker, I was so confident that I wouldn't be at all interested in Tristian as a character that I settled on playing a male character because of it. The universe mocks me, I swear. And I was right until that guy started being a little weird and a little fucked up! And then suddenly I had to know more, and then he was in the party temporarily, and then permanently, and he's just so pathetic in all the right ways... And the way that despite that sweet, holy character there would be moments of startling condescension or naive accidental cruelty... the fact that everything about his background was so clearly a lie... Agh, it drew me in, and then the betrayal sealed the deal. Curse my love of traitors, and of inhuman things straining under the weight of sudden humanity! Something wretched has taken hold of me. This is my own curse.

I think it's insult to injury that I really love Tristian's voice as well. Life is so cruel.

Anyway! Tristian is a fantastically compelling character because I love the way that nothing is actually quite a front with him despite the fact that he's deceiving you. He's so painfully sincere about being compassionate and altruistic. He really does want the best for you and to set you on the right path. He's blindingly sweet and kind and naive, but at the same time is capable of committing to truly terrifying acts for his own selfish goals. He's so terrified of his flaws that he can lie to himself about his own motives and overcome his intense aversion to falsehood to lie to you... I love the way that even when there are cracks in his story, he's somehow so difficult to disbelieve because it's so counter to his nature to be up to anything sinister that somehow, the mind rejects the evidence (mine did, at least). I like that much like Nyrissa he's someone who thought of himself as the main character of every story he was a part of (or at least deserving of a leading role) and who is now soundly punished for his hubris by living in a way he believes makes him a shadow of himself. And I like that all of his darkness is just a part of him! Like I said- no falsehoods. There's no "fake" Tristian. Every bit of it is real. It makes him feel so complex and human.

Anyway Tristian nonbinary I was told that by the owlcat itself it's true and I'm right

Favorite Female Character

In a game with two of the best girlbosses ever made, it's so hard to choose... but choose I shall, because I came to this game for one perfect woman, and I'm committed to the scythe wife, who has never let me down. I adore Jaethal! She's cool as hell, of course, by virtue of being a tall (no one argue I'm right) spooky undead lady with a giant scythe. But I also just find her a delight to be around. That unflappable immortal arrogance makes her funny as hell. There's not a single line from her that isn't iconic, I swear. The experience of being in some serious cutscene and having her interrupt with something mortifying like "well we all know family is what really matters" is integral to Kingmaker, I think. You're really missing something playing without that. And her backstory? Also an 11/10. She's a lawyer. She's a serial killer. She's a cultist. She's a milf. She's the worst person to have at your family gatherings. She's everything to me.

And of course, what I especially love about her are what we might term her "bestie qualities." I love that she's absolutely, unfailingly honest, even when she might have every reason to lie. She'll tell you so straightforwardly that she's undead, and then without any hesitation about her Extremely Criminal Past. She's confident that you'll either work with her, or that if you won't then she doesn't need you (she is, after all, immortal. eternal. everlasting.). But if you place your trust in her, it's rewarded with unwavering loyalty and earnest counsel. She always cuts to the point and never tries to manipulate or flatter. She's always absolutely, unapologetically herself. I love that about her. She feels like such a natural match for an evil character. She's ruthless and seeks power, but she's also content with what she finds at your side and is so fiercely devoted.

Then after saying all that, there's the fact she has easily the best companion quest in the game! Even though we see so little of Nortellara, I love the relationship between them. Jaethal has such complicated feelings for her offspring: she's controlling and condescending, but at the same time has some affection for the girl despite herself. I love the part of her first quest when after turning the nameless elvish girl for having a resemblance to her daughter, she reacts to her with disgust for displaying what she feels is a cowardice that would be beneath Nortellara. She thinks a lot of the girl- although at the same time, the way she thinks of Nortellara is also a reflection of how she sees herself. The question of how much of that affection and respect is for Nortellara as an individual vs. Nortellara as the miniature Jaethal she thinks that she's succeeded in making her is also one I find myself turning over in my head. Jaethal is one of the video game parents of all time to me

Least Favorite Character

Of the companions? Jubilost. Shoutout to Jubilost for being the only companion I hold no warmth in my heart for. I know this is a bit of a controversial take (and also that you've heard it from me already, for the most part), but I truly can't stand that guy. He's funny sometimes, sure, and I really like his questline (especially the Inconsequent Debates for letting me see my bestest immortal friend in the whole universe), but he frustrates me as a person. You know how Jaethal is a fun and cool fictional villain? Jubilost is a real dude I could find on Reddit right now. Or Twitter. Or in my high school yearbook, since he'd have been one of the classmates mad at me for taking the top spot in class rankings from my betters (cis men). I really tried to like him, and I did my best to committing to him in the party on my second playthrough, but he ran out my patience in record time with the way he talked to Octavia (as well as to Linzi and Valerie). I don't care if she started it, his responses disgust me.

In terms of non-companions...? That chieftain of the Six Bears, Akaia. For some similar reasons, that guy obviously sucks. Don't even need to say much more about it. He's lame and obviously he was made to be hated. He doesn't even have any amusing quips. Amiri deserves to do a little murder to him. As a treat.

Favorite Ship

It is no news to you or anyone else who's known me for more than two days that my brain has been absolutely melted by Balthazar/Tristian. That has held me at goddamn knifepoint for over two years now. Send help. I know I covered the two of them at some length here, here, and here. I really love the way that they're kind of foils to one another- the trickster and the earnest priest, the aasimar desperately rejecting his heritage and the fallen angel willing to do anything to claw his way back to heaven. And I love the ways that they're the same as well. They're both suffering at the hands of the expectations placed on them for a celestial nature, expectations neither can meet. Both have the same fierce commitment to their ideals, and both are also gifted liars. There's a lot there. It's like accidentally tripping into making some kind of shonen rival ship. It makes me so deranged.

Though if you asked me to pick something that doesn't involve my beloved special OC and isn't the easy Octavia and Regongar (I want them to work it out so bad)... I'd say Linzi and Amiri! i like Linzi's gay little crush on Amiri, it's really cute.

On the other hand my dark and evil fave is that I am secretly a Nyrissa/Tristian guy. I just like... there's something about that. There's something about the Stockholm ship.

Favorite Friendship

I mean. Jaethal and Balthazar, of course. Mean bisexual alliance. I love how in sync they tend to be, and I love the trust that can exist between two evil people. :) Every tyrant needs a loyal right hand! I also think that she's someone who has always been able to see through his deceptions and fronts and is able to cut straight to what's on his mind- she demands an earnesty that's terribly unfamiliar at first, but trusting her comes to be second nature.

If we remove my OC from the equation though... I really love seeing Octavia and Harrim interact, and the moments here and there that she's able to break through that gloom and coax out some little positive response, a smile or a good natured comment. The unstoppable optimist and the persistent pessimist being pals is just :)

Favorite Quote

For once in my life, I don't need to think for even a minute about it. "You are my reflection, Balthazar, just a little luckier." I know I even made a whole post gushing about it on the side blog! It's my favorite, and her telling you not to bow down before power, just as she never did, in the same conversation. Wow. Wow. I just... she's everything, you know?

Honorary mention though to "I'm lying to you again, Balthazar." I'm so insane brained about Tristian there had to be something here, right? All of his dramatic and self-pitying stuff (especially the self-pitying stuff) is dear to my heart, but something about the frank admission of not only the most abhorrent selfishness but the act of catching himself trying to conceal it is really amazing to me. I mean, there's so much character in just that. He's someone who's so burdened by shame that even when he tries to confess one he's compulsively still hiding and minimizing, and he sees it as a sign that he's fallen so far and become so sullied. But I think it's one of the most human things about him. I find it painfully relatable. I find it so fascinating that he's a character who holds himself to impossible standards who by the time of story has already long since failed in his attempt to live up to them. And of course, the attempt to return to the time that things were perfect and he could live with them only tangles him further and further in things that shame and humiliate him and make him a stranger to himself. I really love the struggle he's always going through to understand himself and accept these flaws.

Worst Character Death (if any)

That BASTARD TRISTIAN! I don't hold Jaethal accountable for what happened there just. Full hands in head. Aaaagh. Devastated! Heartbroken! Dismayed! Ripped my heart out of my chest! The only fatality I had in the House on my first playthrough and it was a NIGHTMARE. I knew it was coming, my roommate had warned me, but I still had such a hollow feeling in my chest afterwards. The book in the House that has Tristian's memories made me full on tear up. His death is also the reason that Balthazar killed Nyrissa instead of taking the opportunity from Shyka to be crueler- after that there was no playing around. She had to die, and that was that.

Of course, Nyrissa's death was also the worst. She's such a wonderful character that it was devastating to lose her. But I think there's a certain poetry to it. Even if you kill her, in the end you become her. And if you emerge victorious from the struggle against the Lantern King, then it's her victory too. You're the understudy who's filled her role and you'll see the show through to the end. I like to think she'd be happy to see what you did with it. I love her so much my heart aches btw

This made me so happy you have no idea Moment

Oh, there are many options in the epic highs and lows of Pathfinder: Kingmaker. But a really memorable one from the first go around was talking down the mob in Season of Bloom by seizing on the words of Balthazar's very few supporters and using them to just gaslight the crowd into sad submission. RIP to the common people of the Stolen Lands but I love the evil diplomancy win. Along similar lines would be talking Hargulka into beating Tartuk to a bloody pulp (sorry Tartuk) and then recruiting him on the spot afterwards, recruiting one of Nyrissa's lieutenants by being the scariest motherfucker she'd ever met (I love when my feeble posh aasimar gets to intimidate!), instilling a puppet ruler over the Tiger Lords... basically all the cheating bastard evil diplomacy wins. I'm so grateful that Kingmaker allowed me to play my concept to the fullest.

But also every moment that Shyka was onscreen because them make me so happy :)

Saddest Moment

Aside from that asshole Tristian dying on me? Well, I remember the ending slides I got the first time around were... largely pretty rough. Jaethal leaving was :( But aside from that. Umm. Linzi death. Linzi scripted death got me. Even having disliked her for most of the game before that, suddenly having her pulled away, finding that she died for you even after her spirit was broken and she had become disillusioned... there was something tragic about that, especially playing a character who hadn't really valued her and had encouraged her to make self-destructive choices. I think there's something about seeing her give herself up in blind trust one last time for the hero she's given everything to is, from a meta perspective, extremely sad. I suppose she didn't really know that her encounter with Nyrissa would end in death, but I think our robin understood what she was gambling with. And then the epilogues finishing with the "and now I shall go silent forever" as if her life amounted to no more value than being the vessel for the main character's tale... never! That's devastating as well! And hard to reconcile with a protagonist who had already told her not to put a period on things when the story was far from over.

Favorite Location

Vordakai's Tomb. *the crowd boos* No no hear me out I just think it's a really compelling and atmospheric story location!!! I think it's an excellently paced dungeon with a lot of fascinating parts!!! Like, it's so neat down there. I like the variation in the dungeon geography, which is some of the most interesting environmental storytelling in the game. Being stalked by Vordakai's familiar (and watching in despair as you optimistic dumbass companions give up their names) is neat. We get some sweet, sweet leadup to Tristian breakdown, and the iconic "if something like, happened to me, and you never saw me again for some reason, is there anything you'd want to say to me...?" He makes me yearn for the sweet embrace of death sometimes. But yeah. The sense of dread down there is cool, I like being properly locked in, it's a good dungeon. As a dungeon aficionado, I'm fond of it!

I love the capital before it becomes a city as well, and a lot of the nondescript forest locations. Many locations are hard to love due to being actively attacked in them, alas.

#hearing about the emi opinions makes me feel like some kind of kingmaker philosopher lol #oracle of the hell game #sage of the stolen lands #I'm sorry if this was long and repetitive it took me um. jeez. two or more hours to write (I'm so slow)#it's so much. I know it's so much.#I need to sleep so badly now though oops #pfkm spoilers #pfkm #ask me emithing #ask game #I've said all this and yet I could still say more. as befits the asshole with the 50+ page note document.#camelliagwerm #userharps #kuroimarzipan

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