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karasunology · 4 years

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⸙ ˚₊ ➷ SUGAWARA KOUSHI & OIKAWA TOORU AS DADS HEADCANONS ! ❞

✎ . . . i'm happy that your requests are open ! and for dad headcanons?? i am right here to serve my braincells for you ma'am. what about dad! sugawara & kenma? thank you in advance 🤓😘

❝ ― submitted by @ nonnie <3 ❞

✎ . . . will you please write about oikawa, bokuto, and sugawara as dads?? :>

❝ ― submitted by @ nonnie <3 ❞

-ˏˋ ➶ character(s) ━ sugawara koushi & oikawa tooru <3

[ trigger warnings ━ slight manga spoilers !! ]

✎ . . . DAD HEADCANONS.

[ BOKUTO KOUTARO VERSION. ] [ MIYA ATSUMU VERSION. ]

-ˏˋ playing soleil's tape ˊˎ-

[ 📼 ] . . . reposted because tumblr took it off?? ugh n e ways happy birthday again to my boy sugawara😔✋

SUGAWARA KOUSHI.

➜ before the arrival of your daughter, mans was totally cool about it; also ecstatic to say the least, he wanted to have a family for you for a long, long time, and when he finally has the chance to start it with you ─ he couldn't help but cry and be so soft on the spot with just the thought of it

➜ but he also couldn't help but be doubtful, doubtful of himself ─ will be a good enough father? will he be able to teach his daughter the important virtues in life? will his daughter even love him?

➜ but in the midst of those thoughts were you, reassuring him multiple times, that, if there was any man that you could think of, of being the father of your children ─ that man would be him, and only him

➜ ngl right now, mans wanted to give you another one after you said that 💀

➜ and when your first child was delivered, he was so encouraging and supportive of you, would whisper reassurance and words of affermations saying how great you were, how he was so blessed for having you.

➜ remember those doubts he had? all those thoughts fully dissapeared when your baby wrapped her fingers around his thumb for the first time, and suga couldn't help but cry ─ from joy? definitely, from satisfaction that you guys created this angel? of course. and relief? yeah, probably.

➜ sugawara doesn't want to spoil your daughter since he wants your daughter to know the importance of money and doesn't want her to end up being a brat

➜ but sometimes ,,, he couldn't just help it okay? ☹

➜ in the first months of parenting with sugawara, he was anything but the perfect dad but you could really see the parental instincts in him

“ kohana, come to daddy ” your husband, koushi, stretched his arms towards your daughter of five years; kneeling on the floor as you sat across from him, kneeling as well.

➜ as your daughter slowly waddled over to sugawara with a blank yet adorable chubby face, sugawara was overjoyed, to say the least.

“ yes waddle over to daddy ─ ”

➜ well, until your daughter cheekily ran across the opposite side, to you. as if flowers of many kinds surrounded her, she glided onto your surprised arms as you instinctively open tour arms out for her, a shocked laugh was heard from you.

➜ 💀💀💀

➜ your husband's jaw DROPPED Y'ALL😭✋ LET ME JUST AHHH

➜ kohana definitely got her wittiness and cheekiness from her koushi, and maybe some from you as well.

➜ sugawara let out an offended scoff as he got up so fast to chase your daughter around the house, as your daughter shrieked in fear and excitement as she waddled all over the place

➜ ugh IM SO SOFT RN, NO ONE TOUCHHHH MEEEE😡

➜ and when kohana was out with her with her aunty kiyoko and uncles daichi and asahi, sugawara was feeling a bit ,,, spicy that night that hey, why not create another one with you👉👈

➜ let's just say, while your daughter was eating caramel apples with her aunt & uncles, you were getting dic ked down by sugawara phew chile

➜ and after a few months, your son, shin was born & damn did sugawara love him

➜ unlike your daughter, your son is such a sweetie uGHHHH

➜ and loved his dad so much, is the calm and collected one while he had your hair and suga's eyes

➜ while the squad™ ; daichi, kiyoko & asahi would come to your house with every chance they get just to see your little ones and maybe even bring theirs as a playdate for shin & kohana

➜ ugh next gen typa thingz💅

➜ would play volleyball with them, but with a softer one that's a bit more kid-friendly

➜ being almost total opposites, shin and kohana would often bicker, kohana being the one to provock the fight and shin just straight up spitting facts, 6/10 of the time would win over his older sister

➜ periodt

➜ and if fights would get too much, sugawara would bONKK💥🔨 your children ( like those times where suga just fu cking bOnKs his teammates. )

➜ yeah that

➜ mans rarely gets mad and phew ,, if he ever does i just have nothin, NOTHIN to say😶

“ i HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE YELLED AT A GIRL LIKE THIS, WHEN MY MOTHER YELLS LIKE THIS IT'S BECAUSE SHE LOVES ME. ”

➜ he'll never be angry at them for too long though

➜ but mostly, he'll just be disappointed rather than mad

➜ and honestly that hurts more

➜ since sugawara is an elementary school teacher, he'd often tell stories about your guys' children with his students

➜ like THAT ONE TEACHER THAT JUST TALKS ABOUT THEIR LIVES AND FORGETS ABOUT CLASS

➜ UGH WE STANNNN

➜ it became an actual thing with his students that they would every now and then ask about them

➜ would have such a strong foundation built from trust, respect and just love with his children

➜ honestly you'd fallen all over again with him BECAUSE HE'S SO UGSHHSHSH

➜ HUSBAND MATERIAL

➜ SANAOL LIKE CAN'T RELATE LMAO

➜ baking !!

➜ this is one of suga's past times, and even before you guys were even married, y'all would have at-home dates and just bake

➜ and it just gradually became a thing with your children every time anyone just wants to bake something.

➜ and most of the time would end up messing up the kitchen and covered in flour

➜ 11/10 dad, may not be the most perfect dad but your kids could never ask for anyone else but him.

OIKAWA TOORU.

➜ it started off as a joke, he couldn't really remember when it all started but he would always say that you would be such a good mother whenever you would take care of him when he's injured himself or just scold him whenever he keeps over working himself

➜ but after a few years and oikawa would never have thought that he wanted to actually have a child or two with you, it started off when he would spend a few hours until pass midnight to watch cute baby videos

➜ like why was he there?? HE WAS JUST WATCHING BUZZFEED UNSOLVED A FEW MINUTES AGO LMAO WHAT

➜ and his eyes would linger onto your sleeping figure ontop of his body, face nuzzled as he could feel your nose tickle his torso.

➜ he couldn't help but play along with the thoughts of having a child with you ─ to start a family with you.

➜ you guys were already living together at argentina, and you've support him through and through with everything he has pursued in his life, and what else was stopping him from starting a family with you?

➜ yes, his schedule may be a bit busy but he had always given more than enough time to you, what hurt may it cause if he had another person to dedicate his attention as well? someone that's the perfect mixture of the love of his life and himself.

➜ and when oikawa has already set something on his mind ─ mans would always get what he wants

➜ if i were you, i'd give him anything he wants ngl

➜ just saying y'all😳✋

➜ it didn't take him a hot second to make you agree to it, and before he knew it he fell in love all over again on the bundle of joy he held on his hands

➜ would pepper you with kisses even if you were tired from giving birth, saying how proud he was of you and how beautiful the child you both created

➜ like duh, it was yours and tooru's child, your guys' baby will be a HEARTBREAKER WITH THOSE LOOKS😡

“ tooru !! ” you exclaimed as you saw your husband hold out a strawberry lollipop to your daughter while holding her with his other arm, as your daughter was ready to bite it ─ MANS REALLY SAID NO❌ RIGHTS✅😤 AND PULLED IT AWAY WHILE LAUGHING BEFORE PUTTING IT IN HIS MOUTH

➜ i'm so sorry i just ─

➜ while your daughter LOOKED SO OFFENDED WHEN SHE STARED SO HARD AT HIM LIKE

➜ THIS BITCH REALLY HAD IT COMING FOR HIM

➜ before your daughter just straight up cried right then and there while tooru's eyes widdened and tried apologizing to his daughter

“ aiko baby i'm so sorry ─ ” until your daughter slapped the lollipop from his mouth

➜ while oikawa just had that blank stare

➜ while you're trying not laugh so much because you KNOW his ego was shattered as she held her arms out for you, making grabby hands until you took her off from her father's hold

➜ oikawa : i hate it here😙😍💅

➜ aiko : it's what he deserves :)

➜ but when your daughter grew up, she ADORED HER FATHER, she would be the first to to the door whenever her father comes back from tournaments, your two younger sons, akiro and haruki would follower right after her chasing each other out

➜ oikawa still dresses her up even if she wasn't a seven year old anymore

➜ aiko is a daddy's girl and that's on periodt😡💅

➜ while aiko had tooru's playful and big dumb b energy, and your your hair and his eyes

➜ your oldest son, akiro, got your personality, and eyes but his father's hair

➜ and your youngest son, haruki, has both your eyes and hair and is a mix of yours and tooru's personality

➜ and it wasn't only aiko which held her father at such a good light that if she told him that ─ mans will be over the moon

➜ but also your two sons which found themselves loving and dedicating their love towards volleyball just like their father

➜ watching his games is a must !!

➜ his ego would not only be ASTRONOMICAL

➜ and just the overall overwhelming motivation had him serving 4 service aces in a row on periodttt

➜ your three kids would fight over who could scream the loudest in the stands for their father

➜ when he's away and your children would have those missing him hours™😔✋ oikawa would always try and contact you guys three times a day and everynight he'd be telling you guys how practice was and would also ask you guys how your days was.

➜ would teach his kids to FLIRT LMAO💀

➜ but will never fail teaching them that they should treat woman with RESPEKT ( and just overall everyone?? not just of their gender it's just because of idk??MANNERS ? )

➜ oikawa : *drinks his respect wamen juice.*

➜ ohoho but if his daughter ever starts having boy crushes MANS WOULD BE ALL POUTY

“ but loovveee ,, ” tooru drags out

“ our daughter is starting to date, what happened to marrying daddy one day? ”

“ tooru we're already married. ”

➜ you're tHIS👌 CLOSE TO DIVORCING HIS ASS

➜ you : i should have gone for the best friend instead

➜ IM JOKING YOU LOVE HIM A LOT

➜ beach volleyball !!

➜ after seeing how good beach volleyball taught hinata, giving him advantages in the indoor court, he wanted his child to as well

➜ or normal backyard volleyball will do

➜ just like with his teammates, oikawa is able to bring out the best in your children

➜ just a 11/10 dad, he may not always be with you guys because of volleyball but he'd always make time for you guys and would never neglect and forsake you guys

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snarkwriteswrasslin · 4 years

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If you are taking holiday prompts... can I get going to pick out, cut down and decorate the tree with my tree, Wardlow? Lol however you wanna do it, HCs or a prompt. And of course yanno how I feel about it getting smutty. 💜

Listen, I have a LOT of ideas for Wardlow and christmas, ahhhhh! I’m so happy you sent this one in because I love doing these sm. I love you for this cos I can gush about the giant. And I really wanna toy with some holiday stuff, since Thanksgiving and then Christmas are... rapidly breathing down our necks and I need the cheer like I need the air that I breathe.

Warnings:

Sweet and maaaybe a little bit dirty in some parts. Given that it’s not gonna be anything too wild, kids can stay, I guess? Hinted/implied sexual situation,ftw.

Tagging:

Tag list is fucked rn. I gotta fix it with all the new urls of the people on it, I think. It’ll be done asap, I promise. If you want to be tagged in my writing, go to the tag doc linked below or ask me and I’ll add you as I’m fixing it.

Other Stuff:

[ ABOUT MY WRITING | MASTERLIST | TAG LIST DOC ]

Okay, first of all, this big guy loves Christmas. I believe I’ve mentioned this on one of the other headcanon lists I’ve done for him. If I haven’t, it’s worth a mention now. Christmas for Wardlow is a time to spend with his family and you, the person he loves most.

-- You guys are going to tree lots as early as the day after Thanksgiving. Of course, he makes a cute little date out of it, because this is going to be your first shared Christmas together, so... He stops for a big and filling breakfast at some place that you’ve never even heard of but they have the absolute best pancakes. And privacy. It’s more of an intimate setting than the typical hole in the wall diner? And it’s in this adorable little town. Picturesque. The kind of place you’d definitely consider settling down in. What he doesn’t tell you until you’re at the little diner enjoying your food is that this is not just a trip to secure the perfect Christmas tree for your place together... It’s also a weekend getaway. You’re blown away by it, because in the mess and hectic chaos of life, you’d completely forgotten that your birthday was also fast approaching.. And sadly, it would fall when he’d be back out on the road this year. You really hadn’t mentioned it to him because it had you down and you didn’t want to seem as if you were putting pressure on him over something as simple as ‘just another day’, either.

-- He definitely hadn’t forgotten. And Wardlow strikes me as the kind of man who will make backup plans. And happens to be very observant, especially when it comes to those he loves and cares about most. So he’d actually planned this out the day after travel schedules got released for the quarter.

-- You’re excited, to say the least. And the little b&b he’s booked is just oh so dreamy. Like it got ripped right out of the pages of a book you’ve read often and loved. The entire drive through the heavily forested roads leading up to this b&b were filled with you two talking and laughing, even playfully arguing over whether it was too early to put up a tree to begin with. He said it’s not, you say that it feels like it. But deep down, it’s because you know that he might still be gone around the holidays and if you were there alone and couldn’t go to him, you wouldn’t want the hassle and mess. He insists on going the next morning and getting this tree, however, so you finally allow him to win the ongoing debate about it.

You check into your room and as you’re walking up the stairs to it, he’s got his hands over your eyes. You’re swearing a little and laughing a lot and finally, you reach your room. When he opens the door and lets you step in, him stepping in right behind you, pressed right up against you from behind and towering over... You’re left stunned all over again because the room is all decked out. Scented candles waiting to be lit. Rose petals on the bed. He’s even somehow managed to get someone to grab you guys clothes for the next day. There’s a full on meal waiting, the delicious smell wafting through the room and out into the hall. You turn to him and he looks a litlte anxious like “Did I do too much?” because you hadn’t said anything... Rather than say anything, you choose to climb him like the tree he is compared to you and pull him into a very, very appreciative kiss. That quickly gets handsy. He’s chuckling against your mouth, “We have the whole afternoon, princess.. Is there something you wanna do?”

-- And of course there is. Clothes are slowly peeled off. He’s got you on your back in seconds. When his mouth breaks from your own to venture down your body, your legs fall open and by the time he’s finished with you at a little after 10 pm that night, the last thing you want to do is move. So you two lie there and cuddle, kissing in the glow of the candles that he finally got up and lit. he also gives a sheepish smile and raking a massive hand over the back of his head, he explains that he knew you had a thing for scented candles, so the candles are all yours and only a part of your birthday present.

-- Falling asleep with him is sheer heaven as always. Even when you’re fighting over the blanket or one or the other is snoring and keeping the other awake. You guys sleep in the next morning and finally, after shower and some more funtime there, you’re down in the dining area, eating another fantastic home cooked breakfast.

Now we’re getting to the actual tree shopping itself. Wardlow decides not to go to a tree lot like most would. Instead, with a laugh, he veers off onto a dirt road that leads right into the forest. You’re perplexed bc for the most part, Wardlow is Mr. By The Book... So, you really didn’t see why he’d suddenly choose to trespass and potentially consider cutting down an actual forest tree. You’re hella turned on by it, however and it maaaybe leads to a little light fooling around in his truck. With the snow surrounding the outside, covering the trees and making everything brighter, almost sparkling when the bleak sunshine breaks through the clouds gathered and reflects off of it. It’s fucking BEAUTIFUL, okay? BEAUTIFUL. When you two finally pry yourselves out of each other, you get out of the truck and Wardlow tells you, mostly to relax you bc he picks up on you worrying about the location that he knows the person who owns the land and this is where he always gets his trees. “Because a tree lot tree isn’t the same. It’s not, I don’t care who says otherwise.” and honestly? You’re not about to complain because the very image of him chopping down a tree... then lugging it back to his truck... has you hot and bothered all over again.

-- The imagery matches up to reality too. By the time the axe is a quarter of the way through the trunk of your chosen tree, he’s shirtless and a fine sheen of sweat is gathered against his skin. But you two are laughing and making jokes, a lot of stopping to make out and teasing one another. At one point, you fan yourself with napkins you found in his console as you’re sitting back in the truck watching and naturally, he decides to make a show of it, even pretending like he’s gonna take off his pants. Whew.

-- The tree is finally all cut down. You two are wrangling it back to the truck (to be honest, he totally could’ve gotten it himself, but you insist on helping, which he thinks is really, really cute and also lowkey hot, even though you’re swearing when it gets hung up in a snowbank or something) and as soon as it’s loaded, he pulls you against him for a kiss using the shirt he’d shed. “How about we go find something to eat, some cocoa and then we get headed back. We’ve still gotta get ornaments, princess.”

-- Something tells you that ornaments will NOT be gotten on that day. Because you can see that gleam in his eyes and you KNOW you’re in for it when you two finally reach your place again.

#wardlow #wardlow fanfiction #wardlow fanfic #wardlow imagine #wardlow imagines #wardlow headcanons #my fics; wardlow #my writing; wardlow #my headcanons;wardlow #// implied s*x here #// lots of fluff too

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ptergwen · 4 years

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to be held

warnings: just the floofiest fluff and lots of kisses

summary: a snow day with tommy boy

a/n: it’s been a long ass minute hi guys!!! i’m so sorry for not posting i’ve been super busy with school and all that stuff BUT i have a bunch of wips rn! imma make up for it i promiseeee. until they’re all done here’s this :,) sidenote: stay safe from miss corona! always wash your hands after (and if) you go out or sanitize if you can’t! regular cold symptoms doesn’t = coronavirus! this is all really scary but try not to panic, just pay attention and take care of yourself bby

—

it’s a given that days off are a rare thing you and tom get to have. his demanding schedule and your own social life don’t allow for a lot of downtime, so tom’s break between onward press and uncharted filming has been a god send.

catching up on much needed sleep, self-care days with shared bubble baths and face masks, and video game sessions (that you mainly enjoy because of tom’s arms around you to help with maneuvering the controller) make up your current routine. the most you’ve had to worry about lately was what takeaway place to get dinner from.

you’ve definitely spoiled yourselves, but so what? you deserve it. doing nothing is everything you two need right now.

today greeted you with piles of snow covering your driveway and the streets, which gave you an actual reason to stay in. it also made the freezing cold london weather even worse. tom insisted on a hot meal for your troubles. you were planning to crank the heat and leave it at that, but he wants to show off what he learned from the cooking lessons sam has been giving him.

plus, you’re hungry, and he’s so adorably excited to make breakfast for you.

once you’re swaddled in a fuzzy spider-man blanket that you may or may not have stolen from tom, you head downstairs. you find him in the kitchen gathering ingredients. there are already two mugs filled with hot chocolate and mini marshmallows on the table. sam must have taught him well.

one says “tea’challa,” and the other is shaped like the iron man mask. if something is marvel themed, tom buys it. you chuckle to yourself at your fanboy of a boyfriend and hug his waist from behind, blanket hanging around your arms.

“you’ve turned yourself into a burrito. that bad?” tom turns his head to give you a cheeky smile, a box of pancake mix in his hand. the cold doesn’t hit him the same because he’s his own personal furnace. how convenient for him.

“and i’ve already raised the heat. i’m running out of options here, tommy,” you whine and tighten your hold on him. “i’ve got one for you. after breakfast, we could cuddle for a while? how’s that sound?” “mm, let’s go for the whole day. i feel warmer just hearing about it.”

still smiling, tom pecks your cheek and walks over to the stove. you keep clinging onto him while he makes the rest of the batter. it’s like how a koala is with bamboo. after pouring the batter into a pan, tom turns around fully in your arms. you take the opportunity to bury your face in his chest, feeling absolute bliss in being flush against him.

he’s soft and warm and shaking with laughter. he’s better than hot chocolate on a snowy day.

“love, what’re you doing?” tom laughs out and holds you at arms length. you make a noise of protest, going back to your new comfort spot; him. “i don’t know, pre-cuddling with you? yeah, that’s what i’m gonna call it. pre-cuddling.” “oh, so this is a warm up. literally.” your scoff is muffled by his shirt. he engulfs you in a hug with arms around your lower back.

you pull away slightly to pepper his chest with kisses, earning another breathy laugh from him. you know his sweet spots. after one more kiss to his collarbone and a low call of your name, his hands move so they’re holding either of your sides. “don’t get me wrong, y/n/n. i’m super into pre-cuddling, but there are pancakes that need to be flipped.” “damnit, tom.”

huffing over-dramatically, you free him from your arms. he looks you up and down. grabbing the pan off the stove, his gaze lingers on you. of course he picks right now to be a tease. the chills are starting to make their way back, and your blanket doesn’t do much about it. nothing can top the way it feels to be held by tom.

“can’t believe you have the audacity to leave me for pancakes. pancakes that aren’t even from scratch, at that,” you tease. the look of shock on tom’s face puts a satisfied smirk on yours. “hey, i’m a beginner! sam says i have to work my way up to making my own recipes.”

proving his point, he flips a pancake too high by accident and just catches it in the pan. he silently cringes at the almost kitchen disaster. “i see that now,” you remark, making tom groan and turn to face the stove.

he plates the slightly mishappen pancake and less confidently flips another while mumbling something about how it worked when he tried it with sam. not wanting him to discourage himself, you hold him by his waist again and place a few kisses behind his ear, which always drives him crazy.

“you’ll get there, baby. i’m sure the way you’re making these will come out just as good. it’s really cool that you’re giving this a try, yeah?” “thanks, love. you’re right. i’ll just take it as a miracle that i‘ve come this far without burning the house down.” he’s half joking but half serious. your lips trail down to his jawline, him tilting his head back to encourage you to keep going.

“you’re really good at that,” he breathes out as you press more soft kisses to his skin. “good at what?” you feign innocence in practically a whisper, since you’re close enough for tom to hear. his eyes close for a moment before he shuts off the stove and puts the pan down. he faces you again with slightly parted lips.

“distracting me. that’s twice today. it’s like you want me to actually set our house on fire, y/n.” he contradicts himself by pulling you closer, his hands on your hips. you let yours move up to his shoulders and tilt your head to the side.

“well, at least that would make it warmer.” “you’re such a div, you know that?” tom squints at you with a small grin, leaning his head down. he purses his lips expectantly. now it’s your turn to be the tease. “stop using british insults at me and go finish breakfast, chef holland.”

his grin fades. “but- but my kisses-“ “they can wait, but my stomach can’t. i’m gonna go set the table,” you pat a pouting tom’s shoulders, leaving him to go through the drawer you keep silverware in.

after putting out forks, knives, napkins, and grabbing toppings from the fridge, you go back over to tom. he steps aside to present two plates with bigger stacks of pancakes than you were expecting on them. “tada! i made a few more for your impatient stomach. or rather, bisquick made a few more.” he does jazz hands around the spread, both of you sporting matching smiles.

you look down at what he made and back up at him. “tom, baby, you think that’s a few?” “you said you were hungry!” picking up a plate, he makes a ‘duh’ face and holds it out to you. you take it. “fair enough. these do smell really good. like, really really good. are we sure the right holland is in culinary school?” his humble side takes over, a light shade of pink dusting his cheeks.

“aw, don’t say that before you’ve tried them.” “then i’ll say it again after i do.” you poke one of his blushing cheeks and nod towards the table. shaking his head, tom grabs his plate and walks over with you.

you both sit facing the window to watch the snow fall as you eat. even though it’s freezing you, it can still be pretty to look at. multitasking is a virtue. you load up your plate with maple syrup and chocolate chips, tom opting for fruit on the side. he sips his hot chocolate and watches intently as you cut your stack of pancakes.

licking your lips, you dip a piece into some syrup. you’re happily surprised at the taste of your first bite, bumping tom’s leg with your own to express what you can’t say with a full mouth. he leans in closer.

“how is it? good?” his eyebrows are raised in anticipation, trying to gage your answer. you turn to him and throw your arms around his neck all in one movement. he catches you and giggles as you kiss all over his cheeks, nose, forehead, and finally his lips, letting that one last the longest. your hands slide down to hold tom’s arms, him stealing another kiss from your lips.

he’s so precious that you sometimes have to find other ways than words to tell him that.

“in case you couldn’t tell,” you start, out of breath. “that’s a yes. i’m enrolling you in culinary school for real.” “that’d be fun. sam could use some competition.” “and you’d get to bring home more really good food for me.” he chuckles and rests his arm across the back of your chair, each of you ready to fully dig into your breakfast.

tom has the same reaction that you did, his face lighting up in awe at how the pancakes turned out. you’re tempted to launch another kiss attack on him, but your grumbling stomach wills you to finish eating first. it’s worth it. both of you end up clearing your plates and staring out the window at the mess of white and grey, too full to move.

“it’s really coming down out there. wonder when it’ll stop,” tom yawns and settles his arm around your shoulders. “that reminds me. cuddles?” “ugh, i physically can’t get up right now. let’s stay here.” you have to admit, you’re already pretty comfortable.

moving your head to rest on tom’s chest, you nod, your hair tickling his neck. you outstretch the spidey blanket still on you for him to get under. he wraps the rest of it around himself and leaves a quick kiss on the top of your head, leaning further into your side.

soon, your chills are long forgotten.

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artemidian · 3 years

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okay so first of all i did make bruschetta! my stomach kinda hurts now but like. it was still pretty good. idk i still feel like i shouldn't have and the more i think about it the more i'm like. that was a Bad Idea. if you can't tell i really do have some sort of issues <3. idk who will eat it all now tho cause it's a lot. i did eat a lot tho too so like. man idk. now i wanna go and move because i hate sitting after i eat but i don't have anywhere to go. my friend wanted to watch a movie so now we're doing a netflix party but like. idk it's not anything i'm interested in.

anyways the other paragraphs:

my sleep schedule is always a mess. i sleep best when i'm full on exhausted and there's not much exhaustion going on rn. that's why i load up my schedule during the school year (the year before this past, i was at my school from 7:30 to 8-10 pm all the time). i hope you can avoid any new burn outs, those are never fun. as for my sinuses—i've always had sinus problems. i used to have infections when i was little often (i once was on antibiotics for one for 40 days lmfao). and sinuses go hand in hand with migraines actually so. yeah. it's a normal thing and i usually can't move my eyes around too much or i get pain/headaches. i wake up with that pretty much everyday, usually sharp pain around my eyes, but today just my entire head hurt and my sinuses were just. yeah. no eye movement today ! my neck just started hurting too so that's the migraine setting in lol

also my nose is still hurt but i can't really do anything about it. i just hope it'll pass

and pre cal, rn it's vectors. not that difficult, but i have certain things (writing, tumblr, now pre cal) that just make me anxious at the thought of doing them. idk. it'll be fine

and my list won't be entirely unattainable. mostly just like. fix myself physically (i want stronger hip muscles, arms, etc.). figure out my hair, fix this shit on my arms, find shoes, find new clothes, etc etc. just that sort of thing.

and that doesn't sound fun. try hot water/shower/bath and massaging the area. and use some sort of cream/something to put on it (can't think of the proper terminology). and the hand thing sounds really painful omg. i hope it gets better soon. you have time today so you should relax, and i'm happy your meds + productivity have been good! that's always nice

once again response under the cut–

yay bruschetta! hopefully after you give yourself a bit of time to digest your stomach will hurt less? idk though, everyone's different. and idk if your neighborhood is safe to walk in, but if it is you could go for a short walk? i live in like. okay so it's technically a village. in the woods. but that makes me sound like i'm a medieval peasant so uh. long story short i can go for walks but idk about you– i feel like i remember you mentioning that your area wasn't very safe at one point. either way i hope you feel a bit better :(

with exhaustion: okay not to be *that* person but i'll tell you what my doctor told me my freshman year? sophomore year? it was basically along the lines of "your brain is still developing please stop teaching it that stress = good living conditions and start teaching yourself to work/sleep better" so. lmao and here i am djfhsfkjsd but yeah burn out is not fun but it'll probably happen again soon. i'm still not fully back from the last school year and just with things going on right now in my life it's just kind of– on the horizon lol.

yeah i knew a bit about sinuses because my sister tells me Migraine Facts from time to time and that was one of them. idk any condition where normal means functioning while in pain is hell, im sorry babe. i never know what to say but like. i'm sensitive lol. and i hope that your nose gets better and that whatever's wrong with it isn't too severe.

yeah i understand that. i usually try to break it down into the smallest bits possible to make it seem manageable. and at least you're on break with writing, so you don't have to think about it. you can always take a break from tumblr if you need it babe.

and yeah just make sure you keep your goals manageable, yknow? ambition and gentleness can co-exist, if that makes sense.

and YEAH my hand hurts this sucks. it's not that bad but yeah. because there's no way for it to not be in pain right now– because it's on my dominant hand, anytime i move my hand to do anything it pulls at it. i have a bandage on it but it's in a really inconvenient place to bandage? and i was going to take a shower to help with the soreness but it hurts my hand so <\3 and i wanted to workout today but i'm too sore, which is frustrating. but it's probably good that i can't right now for reasons but still. there was some stuff that i just wanted to mess around with, like some old choreo, but my entire body hurts so i'm just resting today. i was going to just daydream + write down notes on those daydreams but like. i have absolutely no ideas at the moment. @ the universe please give me new ced ideas <3 my brain is dead <3 also the "e" "l" "w" "k" and "j" keys on my laptop stopped working halfway through that sentence so i've got to switch to my phone and also figure that out now ;-; i used copy and paste just to finish but i'm not going to keep doing that

#isa’s an angel🌟#talking with friends #owl post

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nikoalaa · 4 years

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usually this is something i’d post on a side blog with no tags or followers (just to get out of my head), but i think this time i want the possibility of someone helping. idk how long this will be but i’ll put it under a read more when i’m on my computer.

i’ve been struggling more lately. idk if it’s just the pandemic and quarantine and everything getting to me, but this has all been happening before too, just maybe not as often. i’m more anxious, i’m more depressed, i want to shut myself away from friends and not leave my house much unless it’s a quick trip somewhere by myself. i’m so tired all the time. i’m just so, so exhausted. and since i’m home a lot with nothing to do, i’ll sleep. my schedule is so messed up. i sleep basically 5am-2pm and then sometimes still take a nap. like today i slept 5 or 6 am- 2, woke up and had something small to eat, sat at my computer and then slept again 6:30pm-9pm. i jokingly call this my “unemployed schedule” with my parents, but i think they just think i’m lazy.

and speaking of them, i think a lot of my problems i have with myself would be nonexistent if i just had good parents. my crooked teeth wouldn’t be an issue if my dad didn’t hate doctors and was scared of the dentist, therefore never making appointments for me or my brother, resulting in us both not having good teeth. my weight and unhealthy relationship to food wouldn’t be an issue if my mom would have just made me eat a god damn vegetable when i was a kid instead of just giving me chicken nuggets so i would stop whining. and when i was chubbier then other kids, instead of herself trying to fix my diet by actually cooking healthy food and making me eat it, she made me see a doctor and go to group sessions of other kids in similar situations (that i was very uncomfortable going to, to the point of me crying, but she forced me to go anyway). which none of that helped anyway, it just made me self conscious about eating so i now hate food and when i do eat in public, i feel gross and that people are staring at me. and now my body has tricked itself that if i’m out in public, i can only eat very little or else i get sick and throw up. and my mental illness could be in check if my parents just put in any effort. they’ve been aware of my depression since i was in 3rd grade (which my mom would phrase as “you don’t seem as happy anymore”) and i recall having anxiety since kindergarten. i get that we didn’t have a lot of money when i was growing up, so maybe they just made me see the guidance counselor every friday for two school years. which is fine, that’s what they could do and it was at least something idk. but after that it’s like they stopped caring. i went on to public school after that and i hated it. i constantly would go to the nurses office in 5th grade and pretend being sick so my mom could pick me up or some how get me home. that should have been a red flag. or whenever my dad asked me how my day was and i never said “good”, another red flag. i was so depressed for the rest of my time in public school, and they didn’t do anything. sure i would join clubs or play sports to try to make myself happy and have fun, but it wasn’t ever enough. high school was even worse. i was angry all the time. just that angry emo kid sat in the back of the class. and eventually i lost almost all my friends. i started cutting, but i kept it hidden until i got changed after gym class one day. someone i was kinda friends with spotted the cuts on my upper arm. they gave me a knowing look and asked what happened. i said my dog scratched me. but it was way too many cuts and too dark to be dog scratches. but they didn’t ask again and i was grateful because i didn’t want help at the time. rest of school went on, the cutting stopped (or at least stopped being as frequent. relapses now and again), had panic attacks before and during school (that i always seemed like a burden for having when my mom had to deal with it), then i had a manipulative friend/ex gf i’m not even going to get into rn. long section short, my parents knew i was struggling. they would mention it off handedly. “you didn’t seem as happy” “we saw their was something going on” stuff like that. but they did nothing to help me. never asked questions, never talked to me, never asked if i needed help or someone else to talk to.

after highschool the panic attacks weren’t as frequent, but the depression was there. and they knew it. because even now and then i would bring it up, especially when i was having a breakdown. i would tell them i need help, i need a therapist and i need medication. she said (because it was always my mom i would go to) that she would see what she could do. then nothing happened. another time, full break down, and i fully told her i am suffering and i need help. she made me feel like such a burden and an inconvenience. she said she had no idea how to get me a therapist. no idea where to start. so i told her, mainly yelled, to ask this one lady we know (someone who had actually done more for my mental health than my own mother) for advice because i know her two kids go to therapy and stuff. she said she would try but she never did. few weeks ago, i have the biggest panic attack i’ve had in a while. full hyperventilating, almost going to throw up, all because there was a bug in my room trapped under a bowl. that is not healthy. i’m sobbing and gasping for air as my dad is trying to get the fast bug off the floor but not lose it, and once it’s gone i’m in bed sobbing and heaving and my whole body is twitching uncontrollably. she thinks she’s hot shit because she did that “5 things you can touch” bull shit once i was starting to calm. nothing again after that. what they did, they bought a hand vacuum so i could catch bugs myself. i guess so i won’t have to bother them at 4 in the morning and again freaking the fuck out. all in all, if they got me therapy as a teen and i had meds, i probably would be much much much better off. i won’t even go into the trans stuff rn. i think they think it went away because they ignored it and i don’t talk about it with them. even tho in the rest of the world away from family, i go by my chosen name and my friend calls me “he”. but it’s been almost 4 years, if not already 5 years, since i came out to them. they said they looked up therapy and stuff but again, nothing ever happened. i joke with my parents and say they’re lucky i don’t steal my dogs prozac and they laugh. i know it’s exactly the one used for people because it’s the same exact one my ex took. these days i’m starting to see things out of the corner of my eye, but nothing is there. i tell my mom i think i have adhd or something because i’ve read symptoms and it would make sense. and i also don’t remember a time where my head wouldn’t just be quiet. even now. it never is. but she says i was tested and they didn’t say i had adhd. when i was 7... and it’s misdiagnosed in afab people... and especially since i was anxious as a child.. and nervous around the lady who tested me. when. i. was. 7. shit develops later in life. but she won’t believe me because she says she’s trained to see the signs for her work. but then she’ll bring up how my uncle, grandma, and dad, are like the poster kids for adhd. and she just won’t believe me.

i’m really struggling with just everything. and i feel guilty that i’m even struggling and “feeling bad”. i’m a white kid from the philly suburbs. everything could be much much worse for me. but then again, i know thinking like this isn’t good for me. just because it could be worse, doesn’t mean it still can’t be a hell of a lot better too. i just want to be okay. i want to be healthy and happy. i’ve never really gotten to experience it all. my happiness seems fake and it fades away. my idea of health is “going to the gym and the right amount of anorexia.” i know that’s not healthy but that’s just the only way i know. my mom doesn’t seem to care anyway. i tell her that when i am working or i was in school, i would only have like one meal a day. she didn’t say a thing. i just want to be happy. i don’t want to die. i really don’t. i hate being alive but like, i’m already here. i’m not going to take myself out. but it’s just so hard to exist a lot of the time. idk how i’ve done it this long. and i can tell it’s gonna get bad again because i tried to cut myself a few nights ago. the knife wasn’t sharp enough to really make a mark but i had no energy to keep trying. i really need help but idk what to do anymore.

#im so sorry this is so long #it took me an hour to write #ill put a read more later #im so sorry #tw depression #tw anxiety #tw eating disorder #tw anorexia #tw self harm #tw cutting #ask to tag #just in case #im gonna try to sleep cuz its now almost 5:30 am

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rynhaswritersblock · 4 years

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tiktok famous (hc) - part four | p.p.

summary: episode four of tiktoks with y/n and peter ayooooo

warnings: cussing. what's new LOL

+ + +

- BACK AGAIN

- these are the imagines that i can pretty much just pump out because the plot line is like already layed out for me

- in conclusion i like writing these lol

- okay SO

THESE ARE ALL THE PEOPLE WHO GAVE IDEAS::: spideybparker starbabez mrose12623 elliedevotee lilcassipuff buckybigbutt

THANK U! <3

^^ if you've changed your username i'm so sorry whenever i get requests i write down the username and it's lowkey difficult to track who is who and if they've changed it ahhhhh

- aight

- lets get into it

- yuhhhhhh get into itttttttttt

- i'm gonna be saying yuh get into it so much in this imagine i apologize in advance

- like it's kinda bad

- oops

- so y'all know those audios that are like the fake calls

- it's like that man's voice he's like "hey whassup shorty your man around?"

- THAT ONE

- so naturally

- y'all know where this is going

- you and pete are just chilling (this is how all of them start. i feel like a broken record. help)

- you're like FUCK IT LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS

- you start recording

hey whassup shorty

- peter goes into FIGHT OR FLIGHT MODE

- he's just playing video games (fortnite aye) but the S E C O N D HE HEARS THAT RANDOM MAN'S VOICE

- fuckin RIPS OFF THE HEADSET

- EYEBROWS FURROWED AS HE LOOKS AT YOU HE'S LIKE

- huh wHAT NOW

- ????!!!!!!!!!!

- you fail at keeping a straight face cause the fucking AUDIO

your man around?

- a wheeze FLIES out of you mouth as peter SHOOTS UP FROM HIS CHAIR

- big "FUCK NO!" energy

- mans practically jumps on top of you

- he's like angry and confused at first but then he sees how hard you're laughing and just gets even more confused

"what was that?"

- his voice is all high cause it does that in tense situations

- puppy face is loud n clear!

- babey

- meanwhile you can't catch your breath for SHIT

- so you show him the video as you continue to literally die

- as soon as he realizes he just melts

- he's like laying on top of you and buries his face in the crook of your neck before bursting out into laughter and holding you tighter

"you can't do that!"

- god me thinking about that happening irl is giving me BUTTERFLIES

- sexc

- okay this one is another fake phone call

- just gonna jump into it it's pretty much the same situation

- in this one you two are over 18 btw

- for ~legal reasons~

- the audio starts playing with the ringtone and peter just glances over

- he's too busy watching b99

- naturally

hey this is dr. alvarez! we received your pregnancy test results

- WHAT

- peter has never jumped so hard in his LIFE

- tv is PAUSED even captain holt has the shocked expression (who am i kidding it's holt his facial expression is as dead as a brick)

- 🅱eter literally yells

"WHAT"

- audio keeps going

is there a time next week you could come in and talk?

"y/n what"

- he runs over to you and you bust out laughing as he looks at your phone and realizes it's a tiktok

- an annoyed smile pulls at his lips and he groans and wraps his arms around you

"you had me there for a second"

- let's just say peter parker had family on his mind a LOT more since then

- wink wink

- k SO

- queso

- haha

- anyways

- y'all know that one sound

pussy so good i could save that shit for later

- welcome to straight tiktok!

- so y'all just chillin on his bed as best friends do

- on ur phones and shit

- and peter parker is a basic bitch so he has the led lights

- which i want SO BAD btw ugh my room would be such a vibe

- update i'm editing this and i just ordered some ayooooo

- anyways they're currently blue so like

- innocent

- chill

- but THEN

- the audio starts playing from peter's phone

pussy so good-

- you gAsp as the lights turn red

- ur like

- holy shit i didn't know parker could do that

- next thing you know peter's hand is on your chin/jaw (just about ur neck OOPS)

- his mouth is practically ON your ear

- you see him holding his arm out in front of you recording and you can't help but laugh

- but DAMN

his jawline is out and everything and he's fucking SMIRKINGGGG as he whispers the lyrics into your ear

- BUTTAFLIESSSSSSSSSSSSS

- big mattia vibes (btw that man is NOT attractive i'm sorry)

- moving on

- i know i've written one of the ones where you kiss your best friend

- but time to turn the tables

- oh how the turn tables

- time for y/n to be a bad bitch cause WE MAKING THE FIRST MOVE!!

- hell yea!

- so it's late right

- like late late

- at least midnight (sleep schedule is MESSED from quarantine though so honestly late rn is like 2 or 3 in the morning yikes)

- and ur hella bored

- on tiktok

- the fuck else do you expect?

- and you start doing the thing where you start thinking about getting up and doing something and you think about it so much that you physically can NOT sit there any longer and must Move or Die

- i KNOW i am not the only one

- so that happens

- and you're like FUCK IT

- so you walk out of your room and into peter's next door

- oh to live at avengers headquarters and live next to peter parker

- you just fucking stroll in

- peter's fat ass just goes "hey thanks for knocking"

- meanwhile you can't even stand to look at him because you're afraid that if you do all of your confidence will VANISH

- so you set up the camera and start recording

- at this point peter's sitting up and just watching you cause he's so confused

- and

- (HERE WE GO)

- it takes everything in you not to RUN OUT

- but you walk over to him

- wrap a hand around his neck

- tilt your head and lean down

- when peter realizes what's going on he's like OH MY GOD

- fight or flight response HITS except its JUST FLIGHT

- HIS BODY CHOSE FLIGHT

- he fucking REELS back

- can't even process that his best friend and crush since EVER just tried to kiss him

- sdfjksdkfjsdfg

- DKJFNHSKDFNSLA

- you're like fuck! so you turn to start r u n n i n g a w a y

- but then his hands wrap around your waist

- you FLY backwards and laugh as the two of you flop into the bed

- and he kisses you

- mwah ha ha haaaaaa

- don't ask why the evil laugh just accept it

- i am tired yes it is only 8:43pm i am still tired

- NEXTTTTTTT

- so y'all know those povs where it's like you find out your soulmate's first words on your bday

- well

- ha

- you and peter are bored because ~ q u a r a n t i n e ~

- chilling at headquarters

- bored in da house and i'm in da house bored

- and peter's like "imma make a pov!"

- okay!

- so i'm just gonna lay it out for you HERE WE GO

- he has the generic countdown thing (text boxes saying 3...2..1! you know the deal) and then he looks at his wrist and it says "hey spider-boy!" and he gets so flustered - next clip it's him running into "you" (obviously you're not actually in it but he does the text box thingy) - you're asking about what it says and try to get a peek but he pulls away - next clip it's right before your bday - and then you find out your quote and it says "it's spider-MAN! cause i'm a man!" - and peter is just looking anxiously/happily at the camera

- PERIOD

- i hope that was a good visual idk i tried

- and uhhhh yeah that one stays in the drafts bc he doesn't wanna expose himself

- moving right along by the way it's raining rn and i'm listening to my kind of woman by mac demarco and UGH this song makes me so...... jkdfhsdk

- OKAY THIS IS ANOTHER STRAIGHT TIKTOK ONE

- but it's cute so

- fuck it

- y'all know it

i wanna put you in seven positions for seventy minutes babe

- mischievous as ✨hell✨

- oh my god i got another idea okay i'm writing that after this one

- anyways!

- you and peter are chilling

- note: i yell at myself every time i write that because the AMOUNT OF THESE THAT START THIS WAY GOD

- he's watching netflix or something idk

- fyi outer banks is overrated sorry not sorry

- yell at me if u want but

- it's riverdale for vsco girls

- you set up the camera and start recording

- audio starts playing and you climb into his lap and he's like WOAH

- you like put your hands on his cheeks/jaws lol and you start mouthing the lyrics

- but the THING IS (pt 1)

- homeboy catches on pretty quick

- and

- fuck

- he starts MOUTHING THE LYRICS BACK

- you deadass have to take a second and reel back to catch your breathe

- but the THING IS (pt 2)

- HE'S GOTTEN ALL INTO IT

- SO HE PULLS YOU BACK IN

- UR FUCKIN FOREHEADS ARE TOUCHING AND YOU BOTH JUST START REALLY AGGRESSIVELY MOUTHING THE LYRICS

- kinda hot doe

- something for u to think about at night

- hey bitch this is a reminder to write about the fairy comments

- thanks past me

- SO

- hmm lemme think

- okay

- so

- okay yes

- so peter-man posts a tiktok of him doing flips n stuff

- like very generic white boy look at me doing things

- and it's very impressive

- but

- you decide to just GO AT IT IN THE COMMENTS

- LIKE TOTALLY ANNIHILATE HIM

- i'm just gonna write some examples

- fuck me for writing this on a computer finding all these emojis on here is very difficult

- oh well

- here we go:

- oh my god a squirrel just climbed up the tree in my front yard and it caught me so off guard my heart skipped a beat

- wait okay irrelevant

- for real this time here we go:

you ate that 💕🧚‍♀️⚡🌟next time make it me instead 💖🧚‍♀️✨ omg peter you came on my fyp 🧚‍♀️💖✨but make it on me next 🧚‍♀️💕✨🦋 a necklace 💕✨🧚‍♀️⚡but make it your hands ✨💖🦋😌

- and so on

- lets just say when peter saw those

- his face got SO RED

- TOOK HIM AT LEAST TEN MINUTES TO COMPOSE HIMSELF

- AND THEN HE RAN INTO YOUR ROOM

"y/n what is this"

"uh fairy comments"

"but they're so-"

- you just stare at him and like

- shrug

- but knowingly

- HAHA OKAY NEXT ONE

- okay i took a break to go sit in the rain and eat hawaiian rolls 10/10 experience def go do that next time it rains

- i think i wrote one like this but with the supalonely dance

- so this time

- we doing the savage dance

- first of all that song is a BANGER

- second, the dance is SO FUN

- so it's the same thing as last time

- you set up the camera but have it face peter instead of u sneaky sneaky

- and then u start doing the dance of course

- and obv peter is like yuhhhhhhhhh get into itttttttttt

- clapping along and smiling and whooping

- supportive bby

- but THEN

- YOU THROW IT BACK

- HOMEBOY DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT COMING

- HALF OF HIM IS LIKE OH FUCK I SHOULD'VE STOPPED HER

- OTHER HALF IS SAYING holy shit !

- once you finish you look at peter and he's just like 👁👄👁

- lol

- anyways

- you watch that video MULTIPLE TIMES afterwards

- okay in this one you and pete are 18+ because

- we like being legal 😌✋

- but it's one of those where you walk out in front of your boyfriend naked

- so peter just got home from patrol and climbs in through the window of y'alls shared apartment

- oh to live in an nyc apartment with peter parker UGH

"y/n? i'm home babe"

- the camera is shaking because you're laughing so hard and kinda nervy

- but you walk out of y'alls room and peter just turns to you

- nearly drops his fucking mask

- he's shocked for a second before he gets such a big smile on his face and throws you over his shoulder

- hehe

- okay last one i love this one sm this tiktok came up on my fyp and i immediately though THIS IS Y/N AND PETER

here it be::

https://www.tiktok.com/@wizqueifa_/video/6826567570116611333

god i hope that works and y'all can watch it lmk if u can't like if the link doesn't work or anything

- okay basically it's that tiktok but u and peter

- like that video EXACTLY everything about it is perfect

- that's it lol

- and i recommend watching her other tiktoks with her boyfriend bc their relationship is adorable and it's totally y/n and peter

- okay i think (hope to god) i've written all the ones that y'all requested

- i think i might only do just one more part of these???? idk i feel like if i just keep going on with them (cause obv trends keep coming) half this book would just be the tiktoks lol

- ANYWAYS

- peace out homies i love each and every one of you

- be kind to urself and try to be productive

- i'm gonna go try and write some more so

- yes

- MWAH <3

+ + +

hi i hope you guys are doing well

ily

#peter parker #tom holland #peter parker imagines #marvel #mcu #spiderman #peter parker x reader #spiderman x reader #fanfic #fluff #writing #peter #parker #thomas holland

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the-static-and-i · 5 years

Text

Star-lit Date Night

//Hey yall, so depression has been kicking my ass and I dont know how to write whump without it being my/Sam's fault in some way, which is one of my big triggers, so I'm gonna pause on those for a hot sec and just write some fluff, because I need that so bad rn. I'm sorry about the prompts, I'll get to those as soon as I hate myself a little less, but for now just enjoy the kinda badly written gay cliche

TW: Gay panic, brief mention of not eating or sleeping much, mention of medicine, kinda suggestive talk.

Sam hadnt stopped telling everyone about this girl she had met since ten minutes after meeting her, which was three weeks ago now. If she wasnt texting her, she was infodumping everything about her to Kat or Sofia or occassionally Jackie and Nic when they were free and up for listening, and if she wasnt doing that, she was daydreaming about kissing her and moving in together, she had even planned their wedding.

Ren tried to keep her in check, so she didnt talk everyone's ears off about some girl they hadnt even met, but even she had to admit she was smitten with her too.

Of course, Ren didnt allow herself to talk to this girl, aware that there would be questions that she couldnt answer with a clear conscious. But she could at least admit she was gorgeous, and Sam's dramatic exaggerations of her beauty werent that far off, or were at least deserved.

They had finally gotten into a point in their friendship where Sam felt comfortable enough to blurt out that she liked her as more than a friend, and as they waited in an increasingly awkward silence, she and Ren decided that no matter what happened, they were glad to have met her.

Dani had responded positively, though! She liked Sam back, and wanted to get to know her more, so she invited Sam on a date on Friday night.

So she acquired permission for Sofia's car, and then waited in an anxious ball for the next two days to pass by. She barely slept and barely ate, only remembering to take her meds because of her alarms and Kat's gentle reminders.

Finally, Friday morning rolled around.

Ren took them to the bathroom, showering and shaving and curling their hair and washing their face with 13 different products, finally finishing with some "light" makeup.

Sam hated it, wanting to scratch at her nose and cheeks and forehead, but knew it would just mess up Ren's hard work. Admittedly, she looked pretty, and Ren's skill was impressive.

They left the bathroom in a towel, giving an awkward smile to Kat as she headed out of the cabin.

Arriving in their room, Sam realized she had to actually get dressed, but didnt know what the fuck to wear. She didnt wanna get out of the towel dress, didnt wanna wear pants or shorts or, gods forbid, a skirt.

So, the only option was a dress.

She had a few, and she liked most of them, but a couple were Ren's, and those were on the downward side of her "like" spectrum.

This is when Ren started stirring again, coaxing Sam to at least try on a few of hers, just to see how they looked with her hair and face all dolled up.

Sam decided to humor her, trying on three before finding one of Ren's she did actually like; a black long sleeve dress with a short skater skirt, and weird ass hole patterns along the whole thing. Weird patterns aside, it was a gorgeous dress, and hugged her body in some pretty flattering ways.

She kept it on, hanging up the other dresses and doing a quick spin in front if the mirror.

Oh yeah, this was a good dress; the skirt flared up and twirled around her, probably showing off her ass a little, but she would put on those dress short things that hide your underwear and call it good.

Despite how happy she was with the dress, there was a new one she got that she honestly loved, and had been waiting for an excuse to wear for a few weeks now.

So she slipped off the black dress carefully, pulling on the dark blue one instead, the pink and peach flowers catching her eye in the mirror immediately. She slipped her hands in the pockets and spun, flaring the dress manually. Even if she had to put work in, the action still made her smile, and she decided this one looked pretty too.

Ren sighed quietly, saying that they were both pretty but the black one was a little nicer, yeah?

Sam groaned, honestly unsure which she preferred. A quick glance at the clock told her that she didn't have a whole lot of time to debate, so she bit her lip and decided to get third party opinion.

Remembering Kat had just left though, her heart started beating faster in a small panic. She grabbed her phone and pulled open her messages, seeing the last person she talked to was Nic!

He would know how to do the date thing, right? I mean, he got the only person as cool as him, so he had to at least be able to advise her for clothes right? Fuck, she hoped so.

She snapped a quick picture of the blue dress while it was still on, quickly pulling it off and putting the black one back on.

Taking a picture of that too, she gathered both and sent them to him, captioning it "Fashion emergency, Ren and I cant decide what to wear for our, my? Date tonight!! Mind helping a little?"

She sent off the message, twirling for a second in the dress again, habitually reaching for pockets that werent there and frowning a little. She didnt dwell on lost pockets though, going back to her closet and pulling out different shoes.

If he picked the black one, would she wear heels or boots? Flats maybe? Not boots, for sure, but I have 4 pairs of black flats and 3 different heels.

Okay, fuck that, what about if he picks blue? I have 2 pairs of blue flats, plus a pair of blue heels, and any of the black shoes would be cute probably.

Sam groaned, quickly realizing she had far too many shoes, and she was completely hopeless with fashion stuff.

Luckily, she wasnt alone with her indecisiveness; Nic responding with a comment about how pretty she looked and how happy he was for her, finishing off by saying that her hair accented the blue one in a really pretty way.

Sam squealed and set her phone down, sliding the dress on and examining herself, brushing some setting power off of the chest and brushing down the skirt a little, finishing by fluffing her hair a tiny bit.

Yeah, she looked good.

She grabbed a pair of comfy blue shoes and a pair of cute heels that she could totally walk in if Ren was fronting, snapping pics of them on her bed and sending both to Nic, saying "You're a fucking lifesaver and I preesh you. Would you mind if I asked for one more?"

His response was quicker, "Go for more comfortable in case you're out for a while. Dont wanna cut tonight short cause your feet hurt!"

Sam laughed a little, enjoying the implications that Dani would actually enjoy her presence enough to want to hang out past dinner.

Still, she slipped on some small socks and the flats, floofing the hem of the skirt in front of the mirror again. Dad made the right call, and she was fucking rocking the look.

She took a better quality picture, showing off the whole look to Nic, writing a quick, "You're a fucking god and thank you so much!! Love you, dad :D"

She didnt wait for a reply, putting her phone into a sorta-matching bag and making sure she had her wallet and keys in it. Finally, she was ready, and ahead of schedule!

She left the cabin quick, making it to the car and driving off without incident.

30 minutes later, she was in the restaurant checking to see if Dani had already been seated. The host led her back to Dani's table, the latter standing up and pulling Sam into a hug before pulling away.

"You look stunning, Jesus Christ.." Sam blushed, stuttering out a small thank you and reciprocating the compliment.

Dani was fucking gorgeous, wearing fancy pants and a nice top, with a complementing jacket draped over the back of her chair.

They parted completely, Dani stepping back and pulling Sam's chair out, coming around to sit again after she pushed Sam in too.

They ordered drinks, neither of them getting anything alcoholic, and then food quickly, only quiet small talk shared as they decided.

Once the menus were taken though, Dani started firing off random questions that Sam struggled to answer, the questions getting more ridiculous as they went; "What would you name a pet dolphin?", "If you could name your super-sidekick, what would you pick?", "Who came to mind when I said super-sidekick?"

Eventually they were both giggling and laughing, Dani not holding back with her head tilted back and a big grin on her face, and Sam keeping herself quiet by biting her lip, also suppressing her own grin.

Their food came, and they made more small talk while they ate, learning small things about each other that Sam loved knowing; Dani loved shellfish but hated other seafood, and her first dog was named Popcorn, and her first girlfriend was in the 7th grade, and they kissed on their first anniversary.

Dani didnt push when Sam frowned at the mention of first girlfriends, avoiding the subject by instead asking her favorite sport, and if she had ever been skiing, and what her favorite halloween costume was.

By the time they finally finished dinner, including a relatively small dessert that they shared, it was 11 pm, and they didnt want to go their separate ways just yet.

So they split the bill and took their leave, heading a block over to the nearest park. Sam started shivering as they walked, but she pursed her lips and ignored it, bracing herself against the breeze that was colder than she was expecting.

Dani stopped in front of the intersection, not even hitting the crosswalk button before taking her jacket off and draping it over Sam's shoulders.

Only then did Sam realize Dani was so fucking tall. Like, she was 5'4, Dani was at least a whole head taller, with slightly broader shoulders and such big fucking arms.

Distracting herself quickly, she slipped her arms into the warm jacket while Dani hit the button.

The jacket was so fucking big on her, naturally. The sleeves went past her hands, the bottom edge coming down past her butt, and the shoulders were already sliding down her, well, shoulders.

Dani wrapped her arm around Sam, keeping the jacket upright and also keeping their warmth closer to their bodies.

They crossed into the park, still entwined and cuddling, both content to walk around in the quiet night for a while.

Sam glanced up at the sky, doing a double take as she saw the big moon and bright stars.

Slowly, she started asking Dani about how much she knew about space, sharing little facts and tidbits that she knew, until Dani asked her to share more. She took the jacket off after a moment of hesitation, laying it on the grass and sitting down on it, patting the space next to her so Dani could sit.

She complied, even following when Sam laid back fully, listening quietly but enthralled as Sam pointed out constellations and planets and even a couple satellites that they noticed passing by.

Dani entwined their hands, looking over at Sam with a small smile. She didnt notice the gaze, still caught up in telling the story behind one of the many constellations she had loved learning about. Dani couldnt help but smile with her as her shy smile grew into a big grin that she didnt even hide the longer she talked.

Sam finally tired herself out, looking over at Dani with her smile returned to its shy, apologetic size. She leaned forward before Sam could speak, kissing her shoulder gently.

"You're really smart, and you clearly know your stuff about this. I love hearing you talk about the stars and space and everything involved with that, Sam. And thank you for sharing," Sam was shocked, her mouth opening a little, like she wanted to protest but though better of it. Dani gave her a small but genuine smile, squeezing her hand gently.

Sam squeezed back, whispering a quiet "Thank you," before nuzzling her forehead onto Dani's shoulder, hiding her face and her slightly-visible smile.

When she pulled away, she caught Dani's eye, both of them refusing to look away. Her hair was a forest green but looked so much lighter under the moon, and San wanted to run her fingers through it.

Dani was a step ahead of her, turning onto her side and releasing Sam's hand so she could pull her into a hug. Her forehead was pressed against Dani's collarbone, but she was so comfortable and felt so safe already.

After everything, she could use a little safe.

So she hugged Dani back, looping their legs together and holding her close, and they stayed like that until the sprinklers turned on.

They both grabbed their shit and ran out of the park, dripping wet and laughing, Sam doubled over by the time they reached the outer sidewalk.

Dani gasped for breath, glancing over at Sam before another laughing fit erupted from her. In the midst of her own fit, Sam barely registered that she wanted to hear Dani laugh like this more often.

The puddles beneath them grew as they slowly calmed down, Dani still letting out quiet giggles every so often, while Sam was just smiling big and proud.

"Your hair still looks beautiful, this is unfair, you're like a goddess or something!" Sam froze, looking over at Dani as she spoke. Her hair was falling into her face, whatever she had used to make it stand up clearly not being waterproof.

"Y-your hair is absolutely gorgeous, and you're rocking the whole.. messy hair vibe. Like, shit, you're so fucking pretty, I could actually ki-" Sam cut off, her eyes widening a little.

Its not that she didnt wanna kiss Dani, but she didnt want her to feel obligated to, I mean it was their first date, and they were both probably cold, and she was getting closer, why was she getting closer?

Dani rested her hands on Sam's shoulder and cheek, giving her a second to pull away before pressing their lips together.

Sam's hands flailed at her sides, before Ren placed them on Dani's hips and kissed her back. Sam came back in control, her eyes sliding shut in near bliss. Dani’s lips were soft and warm, and her hands were playing with Sam’s hair.

They parted slowly, Dani meeting Sam’s eyes with a small smile.

“You kiss good,” Were Sam’s first words, barely a whisper as her eyes flicked between Dani’s and her lips. Dani laughed a little, leaning over and kissing Sam’s cheek quickly.

“You kiss good too. And thanks, Sam,” She was still smiling, and it had Sam smiling back. They stood there for a moment in silence, until Dani spoke up again, “Youre still shivering, do you want to call it a night?”

No, she really didnt, but she was really cold, and she had to take her meds before bed, lest she wake up like an asshole or have nightmares or both.

She sighed, not knowing how to explain any of that without sounding fucking psychotic, so she simply nodded a little. “’m sorry”

“Hey, no need to apologize, i get it, its 2 am and we both have class tomorrow, its all good. You had fun tonight though?” Dani hooked her arm through Sam’s, guiding them back towards the restaurant and where they had parked.

Sam blinked in surprise at the time, but didnt comment on it, instead answering, “This has been the best night ive had in.. ever? Its been so much fun just talking with you, and hanging out, and just.. being with you. Youre so sweet and funny and patient, and i.. really hope we can do this again sometime soon?”

Dani smiled, swinging their hands between them as she nodded rapidly. “Id be so down for that, and we can go out earlier than today? Just so we arent out all night?”

Sam nodded, looking up at Dani nervously, “Fuck yeah, or we could like.. i dunno, set up something so we spend the night together..?”

“Sam Kyle, are you implying-”

“No!! No, not like that!!!!” Dani started laughing again as Sam covered her face with her free hand.

When Dani calmed down again, they had reached the parking lot and stopped walking. “I wouldnt mind having a sleepover though, with or without that.” She said with a fond smile.

“That.. yeah, fuck yeah, how bout we plan something in the morning?” Dani agreed, and they shared another small kiss before going their separate ways.

Sam walked quietly into the cabin, sure Kat would be asleep by now. She shot a quick text to Dani telling her that she arrived safely, getting one a few minutes later saying the same. They said their thank you’s and good night’s, before Sam noticed she still had Dani’s jacket on.

She snorted as she saw herself in the mirror, flapping the sleeves briefly before deciding she did still look cute in it; the color even matched the flowers on her dress!

She took one last picture, and went to send it to Nic, finally seeing that he had wished her good luck before she even left for the date, and had sent another message asking about how it went. With a small smile, she hit send on the photo, the caption a long ramble about how much fun they had and that they were planning another one soon.

He responded with a small joke about the comfortable shoes, before saying how happy he was that she was moving on and finding some happy of her own.

They talked for another few minutes while Sam took her meds, got changed into pjs and washed off the makeup, saying good night’s of their own before she laid down to finally sleep, after three very long, anxious days.

She cuddled close to Peter, her amethyst necklace around his bear neck, bidding goodnight to the stars around her room and both her dads, finally having a completely dreamless night’s sleep.

#Sam #Daniella #Nic #Jackie #Kat #fluff #Sam writes #//based on an actual outfit i bought #//it was literally for this story so i could post the pics #//im not gonna do it until i hate myself a bit less #//cause my body image rn is awful #//but like. those exist #tw// medicine #tw// minor starvation #tw// minor sleep deprivation #//gay panic #//oh and sam and i do actually bid goodnight to our dads. and to stars. only i make wishes on them every night she just says goodnight #Cloak au #//might become canon at some point tbh

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somnim-archived · 5 years

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——— BASICS! ♡

NAME! ♡ Mellu PRONOUNS! ♡ She/her ZODIAC SIGN! ♡ Taurus TAKEN OR SINGLE! ♡ Single

——— THREE FACTS! ♡

1! ♡ I'm trying to move to a big city rn and been apartment hunting all month which has left my life and schedule kind of a mess. Hoping to get lucky next Wednesday!

2! ♡ I’m honestly incredibly socially awkward jskgs. I will probably drop that conversation like a hot potato and never message you back because unless we have gotten to know each other properly I’ll never think of anything to say. You’re probably better off constantly messaging me first lol.

3! ♡ My friends keep referring me as a koala gjksgh. I’m not entirely sure where it started anymore since it’s been some years now, but you can just imagine me as someone who sleeps most the day and wakes up for a few hours to eat and scream before falling asleep again. My life goal is to go to Australia, hold a koala and combust on the spot.

——— EXPERIENCE! ♡

PLATFORMS USED! ♡ Facebook groups were my first introduction to RPing lol. After that I did make some accounts also, for RPing purposes. I’ve mainly RPed there, but have some experience with chat rooms & forums also. I had a twitter account for a hot second but I don’t even have a personal account so it was incredibly confusing and I deleted my account lol.

——— MUSE PREFERENCE! ♡

GENDER! ♡ Honestly women. I have RPed plenty of male muses in the past before tumblr, but after creating Nero I just haven’t had any interest in RPing any male muses. The only exception currently is Lion who’s nonbinary, and probably will stay as the only exception.

LEAST FAVOURITE FACE(S)! ♡ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

MULTI OR SINGLE! ♡ I mean honestly I don’t really care. The only reason I have this multimuse blog is so I can stuff most of my muses here instead of constantly making blogs for all of them and never logging in.

FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT! ♡ Fluff & angst are my jam. While I’m up for the occasional smut, I don’t particularly care for it.

PLOT / MEMES! ♡ I’m so so bad at plotting lads, but tbh I’m up for p much anything. As long as you have like an idea or an au in mind you can come to me and we can talk it out, but don’t really expect me to come up with anything new if you suddenly appear wanting to plot lol. Memes are better in this case really, you can continue from the ask if you liked it and I’m cool with it also.

tagged by: stole it! tagging: steal it!

#» ooc.

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survivingnursinginthephilip-blog · 6 years

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NCLEX: Tips to Pass

WARNING: LONG POST

To be honest, studying for NCLEX was one of the worst things I've done. I was riddled with anxiety and hated waiting for my CGFNS application to finish before even getting the okay to even do NCLEX. And yes it takes forever. Yes, waiting for that long is horrible because you forget what you learned. And yes, this is all normal.

My own NCLEX experience sucked but it was also because I was in the middle of a large family drama and had to stop studying halfway to help out. But even with that, I managed to pass. And I'm hoping this post helps others too.

Keep in mind that this is just what I did to study. There are always other methods. It is largely dependent on the person. Just pick and choose what works for you.

1) Make a study schedule/plan

This is largely dependent on when your NCLEX date is. You could have 2 months. 4 months. 6 months or more to study. Divide up your time according to then. I had to wait for my CGFNS application to finish which takes forever and a half (-about a year really before I got the okay). But I still studied lightly. I didn't want to forget all I learned in Nursing. I tried my best to follow the schedule through and revised when I couldn’t. After I got the okay from CGFNS, I scheduled my NCLEX 2 months after. Those 2 months were spent doing at least 100 NCLEX questions per day. Sometimes 200 when I had more time.

But really just plan it out. Plan out the sections you need to cover. The number of hours spent studying per day. Don't forget to care for yourself. Plan according to your life.

2) DO YOUR NCLEX QUESTIONS. (At least 75 questions per day).

I truly think that your best way of passing NCLEX is being familiar with how NCLEX questions work. They have a particular wording. They have their own pattern. And your best way of understanding them is by familiarizing yourself with how NCLEX questions are given. You can know every Nursing fact there is and even then, you might still get a question wrong if you interpreted that NCLEX questions. Do 75 questions per day because 75 is the bare minimum questions to answer AND you learn quickly the pace you need to set in order to finish the whole 265 questions in under 6 hours.

For my foreign colleagues: Focus on tackling the NCLEX questions because they are indeed different. So I went to the Philippines and the way they do exams for the Nursing Board is more clinical than NCLEX questions. The questions they asked were almost more suited for med students as they were clinical in nature rather than Nursing based questions. That doesn't mean they arent Nursing questions but they are worded differently. So focus guys, you need to get in the NCLEX mindset.

3) Do I enter an NCLEX Review Program? Which one is the best? Will it help me? ANSWER: Depends on the way you study, your time and your budget.

This is what I did:

Self Study: My own College Notes and Sanders

NCLEX Review Program: Hurst (at home)

NCLEX Question Bank: UWorld - NCLEX RN

Youtube: Watched and added to my notes - RegisteredNurseRN and NurseMendoza were a favorite of mine.

Here’s my take. You could easily have done self-study without the review program, but if you need more structure and support then do the review program. I understand Kaplan and Hurst are a favorite. However, I really do recommend you do UWorld. It has a collection of NCLEX questions with rationale per question. I did 100 every day and wrote down questions and rationales I got wrong or thought were noteworthy to take down. I rather liked how their questions were broken down to each section tested by the NCLEX board and that they had a pre and post-test. I took their post-test 2 days before I took NCLEX and got a high probability of passing. That gave me enough motivation and hope that I would pass.

4) List of Things to know without any doubt in your mind

Because honestly, you should know and be sure of these things with just as much conviction and sureness as your own name and birthday.

Labs: especially CBC, Urinalysis, Serum and Electrolytes, ABGS, VS per age group including Maternal and Fetal VS, and Therapeutic Drug Levels, Conversions

Safety and Infection Control Procedures: NCLEX is all about Safety.

Pharmacology: Med Classification, Drug Schedules, Maternal/Fetal Drug Categories, and Popular Drugs always given

Prioritization: ABCs, Maslows, etc

Nursing Process and the Patient Rights

Common Diets, Positioning, and Cultural Considerations.

Burns: Rule of Nines, Fluid Calculations

And I’m really sure there’s more but forgive me but these are all I can think of for now.

5) Take Care of Yourself

You need to be in your best health when facing NCLEX. In order to have a good working mind, you need to care for your self. Sadly, I did not do this. Lol. I was a mess when I took NCLEX. I really was. Hell, I was anxiety-ridden, had a cold and low fever, and was freezing when I took my NCLEX. It wasn’t the best way of tackling the big exam that determines your future. LEARN FROM MY DAMN MISTAKE.

I’m not going to sit here and list out all the healthy things to do to care for yourself because if you’re reading this you know that this is one of the most common Health Education lectures you will keep giving as Nurse. You know it by heart, just as much as we all know that Nurses rarely practice what they teach. But here's the thing, it is time to stop the talk and start the walk. Practice that SELF LOVE dammit! You deserve this!

6) Don’t Panic!!!

Again. Learn from my mistakes, please. I had tried my best to follow my schedule but life happens and I actually had 2 more weeks worth of study material left when my NCLEX date came. I panicked. So bad. I crammed the week before just to finish. No, I didn't learn crap. As I sat in the car with my dad who dropped me off because I was too damn anxiety-ridden to operate a car, I was cramming again. I was sick with a cold, had a low-grade fever, and was close to tears because I hated my life. Yep, Don’t be like me. I still took the exam because hey I was already there.

Okay, here's the thing about NCLEX. You don't have to know every Nursing fact out there. Basics are the deal. Basics mean keeping your patient alive and safe. Basics mean even if you don't know, you can infer and judge. So don't panic if suddenly you come across something you've never heard of. It happens. It will continue to happen. The point here is learning to use your judgment to determine the best course of action.

7) The Day Before the Exam

To do:

Prep the bag you will be bringing to the exam: ID for identification, Cellphone, Water bottle, Snack

Prep Clothes to wear: Wear something comfy!! I was freezing in my exam room because I was sick. It does tend to be a bit chilly in the exam room so a nice long sleeve shirt, leggings, sneakers are a good bet. However, I really wouldn’t know in other countries how the exam process would go.

Get a good night sleep: I slept for 2 hours, was jumpy and freaked out an hour before the exam. No, don’t do that. Get that rest you need.

Map Check your Exam Place: Check how long you need to travel, consider traffic, check landmarks to look out for if you are unfamiliar with the area, look at a real-time picture of the building you are looking for, consider parking or plan on who will drop you off and pick you up.

Do NOT do:

DON’T CRAM/ DON’t STUDY: You know, for some people they can easily cram and be fine. The thing is, cramming does nothing but increase anxiety. I didn’t learn crap.

Don’t over-caffeinate or overeat: It will hit you the day after and it isn’t a great feeling.

Convincing yourself you aren’t ready. You’ll get that feeling. With all the studying and hard work, you will never feel ready. It will mess you up once you get to that exam room, trust me. The mind is a powerful motivator after all.

8) The Day of the Exam

To do:

Eat Breakfast: Something light, nothing to spike your blood sugar, something fulfilling. You have 6 hours maximum to do this exam. Eat something because a small snack really won't cut it. And no, an espresso shot is not enough. Don't over-caffeinate yourself! PS. Gum isn't allowed in the exam room. Leave that in your bag (which is placed in a locker) and chew on it after you finished your exam.

Be early! Look, as a Nurse, being early has to be in your genes by now. It is frowned upon to be late. If you are 30 minutes early to work/clinicals/class, you are barely on time. Early means having enough time to calm yourself, survey the situation and come up with a game plan. Time has to be on your side. You have little time to waste when working as a Nurse. You need to learn how to utilize your time well and being early is your first step.

Go in there with confidence! This was my saving grace. I'm serious. Despite how absolutely crappy and unprepared I felt, I walked in there with such deluded self-confidence that I was sure I was going to pass. I beamed at the receptionist as I signed in. I did friendly small talk with my exam proctor as I did my biometrics. And I took a deep breath and literally said, “I GOT THIS!” before I entered that exam room. My exam proctor laughed and it shook away my nerves. I sat there, in my assigned computer and put my game face on. I thought to myself: Oh yeah, this exam is my bitch. I got this! I am so ready! Let's gooooo!! And then I clicked Next. Look, I was acutely aware that my self-confidence was fake. But it gave me the self-confidence and motivation to do that exam without having frenetic anxiety muddle my mind. It helped me focus. Like I said, the Mind is a powerful thing.

Utilize your whiteboard: They will give you a whiteboard and marker during your exam. Use it! The moment I sat, even before I even started the exam, I wrote down stuff I was afraid I'd just forget. I wrote down labs in one corner. The other I actually did a tally. How many types of questions did I get: SATA, Multiple Choice, Ordered, Hot Spot, etc. You don't need to do this but I liked to keep track of them because the harder the questions, the more I know I'm doing something correctly. Use it as scrap! Use it to remember or work out a question! Use it!

Do NOT do:

Don't freak out: Redundant, I know. I've been saying this since the beginning. But look, when you're sitting there doing that exam, focus on your questions one at a time. Don't keep staring at the number of questions you did. Don't you dare lose your cool if you answer more than 75 questions! I answered 89 questions. I know people who did all the questions, those who only answered 75, and those who were in between. The number of questions you answered doesn't matter. What matters is that you passed. Don't suddenly despair you didn't get all 75 questions the first go. Don't despair if this is your second, third, or more times doing this. Don't despair, my dear, because you will pass this NCLEX.

Be a noisy tester: So, I know this is mostly due to nerves. However, please be aware that you are not the only one testing in that room. There are other professionals in there doing their exam and they aren't all NCLEX exams. Please don't be a noisy tester. There was a person next to me when I took my exam who would stop their feet, slap the desk, sigh and mumble as they tested. It was distracting. I flinched every time they slapped the desk. The headphones that were given to cancel the noise didn't work. I could physically hear and feel the person squirm in their seats. Please don't do that.

9) After the Exam

The next two days waiting for your Quick Results are torture. I know. I know. You have to wait 2 days. Ahem. Official business days – meaning if you took it Friday, likely your Quick Results will be given on Tuesday, 48 hours after you finished your exam. If Quick Results aren't available in your region, likely you will get the official results 6 to 8 weeks after your exam.

You will be anxiety-ridden; so sure you didn't pass. You will immediately go to Google and troll the forums, gauging others' exam experience. So I had this much SATA, that much Multiple Choice, these kinds of questions.... And then, you will attempt to do the Pearson Vue Trick. No, I will not explain how that works. There are dedicate posts, videos, and such for your googling convenience.

My advice? Relax now, my dear. You did the hardest part. Why not just wait for your results? They will come with time. Indulge yourself. I cried myself to sleep, hibernated for 2 days in a haze of sickness, and ate pudding. Lol. Aim higher than I did. Eat that chocolate! Eat that cake! Go have fun! Don't do anything crazy that will have you arrested or hospitalized

10) Did you pass?

To those who passed:

Congratulations! You are now an official Registered Nurse with that beautiful RN following your name. You earned it. You likely have cried, spit, hurt, bled, and sacrificed to get it. Congratulations! Celebrate! Here comes the rest of your life!

PS. Now I will be a buzzkill. Immediately Start Job Hunting. Don't wait. I know it's tempting to just relax after all that hardship. But Job Hunting means you will still have time in between looking for job, doing interviews, etc. Immediately start Job Hunting. Make use of that RN.

To those who did not pass:

Congratulations! No, I'm not being sarcastic or being mean about this. I mean it. I know you gave it your best shot. I know how devastating to get that news. I know you will feel tired, inept, and frustrated. And I know my words aren't helping much. I’m not here to mourn with you, but here to give you some advice.

Look, you are now in the unique position to do some Real Self Assessment. This is the opportunity to look back and see what happened. Was it the way I studied? Was it because I didn't do enough practice questions? Was I having an off day? How can I improve on this? How can I change my plans for the next time? How can I make myself better? This is an opportunity to do better and even more than that, you now have that story in your plethora of life stories that you can look back on and go, “Yeah, I conquered it. Yeah, I really did work hard for it. Yeah, I overcame.” It will make you appreciate yourself even more. So for that life lesson, congratulations. Don't give up on yourself. You will get there.

Ahem, I hope this helps someone somehow? I don't really know what else to say. Good luck and study hard my dears! You got this!

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yeonjuins · 2 years

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i change my theme so much that as soon as someone comments on it, i've changed it about three times 😂😂😂😂 purple is such a pretty colour !! it's one of my favourite colours, plus my name is ALSO a colour of purple 😂💜

ah, you are so welcome, my love <3 i will forever hype up your creations 💗

i definitely think those five naps would really mess up your sleep pattern as well, one nap messes me up </3 i'm hoping you're able to get your sleeping pattern back <3

i had hot chocolate last night before bed with mini marshmallows !!! my s/o surprised me with a bag and i was just so cosy. i was watching a crime documentary with the cats next to me and honestly, the sleep that came after was one of the best sleeps ever <3 i had a weird dream though but a damn good sleep!! <3 i'm having some hot chocolate now and hoping i can have a good sleep tonight as well :)

(language pardoned) 😂 i agree. there are also some blogs on here who dedicate their time to help people and give advice where it's needed and i can say that some of those help me a lot. i've had a few really shitty experiences (pardon my language) in my life that sometimes still affect me to this day and those help me a lot <3

you've put yourself first in that situation, dropping that course <3 putting yourself first is healthy and i honestly hope that it continues to have a better impact on your life <3 & thank you, love.

i'm excited for spring !! my mum and step dad are gonna be moving into a house soon when they've finished decorating (they've spent two years on this house, stripping it and redoing it all up to make it a place to actually live in), it's in the countryside so LOTS OF BABY ANIMALS !!! lambs, calves, birds I AM EXCITED <3333 i'm so happy you had nice weather ☀⛱🌻

i'm really happy you work in a really nice place <3 that's amazing 🥰 tbh when you enjoy your work, it doesn't really feel like work. <3 this isn't what i wanna do forever, i actually really want to work with animals, but not be a vet. hoping to work with the sspca (which is the scottish society for prevention of cruelty to animals), they do amazing work and i would love to be a part of that 💜 i once saved a hedgehog when i was about 10 years old that some little kid had kicked and saving the life of that animal still makes me smile to this day. i love all animals and want to save them <3

i love pizza. i used to love dominos pizza but i can no longer eat takeaway pizza because it makes me ill :( i usually make my own pizza <3

(lengthy response!)

PAHAHAH changing mobile themes often is fine (": i feel like it's a small little hobby people adapt and i think it's so adorable... i also love the new rose icon hehe all the icons u make are so pretty ;0

i never knew heather was a form of purple that's so cool !! my vietnamese name acc translates to 'soft bamboo' which i think is pretty cute hehe <3

i think ? i was able to fix my sleep schedule ? it's monday rn so i don't wanna jinx anything but hopefully i don't take any more naps throughout the day and acc just go to sleep earlier instead... pray for me

hot chocolate with mini marshmallows omg hev are we soulmates ? PAHAHAH i bought a cup of hot chocolate before my shift because since the weather here is cold, my nose has been runny and i feel ever so slightly sick ;; the hot chocolate felt like a warm blanket hug though i am very (: will probably make a cup tonight too now that you mention it...

as much as i might still 'complain' about having to wake up in the morning, i'm very grateful for the freedom i currently have with my school schedule (": i just hope i can get a better work-life-balance so i can fully enjoy it yanno?

spring ! spring ! i'm so so excited... once i power through these next two weeks, it'll be my bday (:< and then ! i booked a couple days off from work so i can go hang out with friends ! and thenn !! i'll be going to toronto for a little food adventure with my brother (:< i'm very excited

YOU SAED A HEDGIE ?!?!?!?? ? OH MY GOD absolutely in love with you rn... i love hedgies ): thank u for saving hedgie life... i bet that small little ball appreciated it as well ): that'd be so cool in an environment that saves animals but i feel like it'd also be stressful simultaneously ;;

WHAHAHA dominos is the place i always get my pizza ;0 me and my brothers replace the pizza sauce with garlic spread instead and it tastes x10000 as better imo i cannot have the pizza the same way anymore (": i would LOVE to make homemade pizza one day it seems so comfy and warming... ;;

#asks #hev

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honeststudying · 7 years

Photo

Part 6 of my Studyblr University Orientation Week.

I see a lot of people on studyblr talking about dealing with stress and anxiety over grades and perfectionism, but not a lot of discussion of being mentally ill and in university/college. So if you’re looking for stress reduction stuff, this post is not for you. This is for my mentally ill peeps.

I just want to preface this with a little disclaimer. This is based on my own experience. I have depression, anxiety, ADD and OCD. I don’t know everything. I still have a lot of trouble coping, particularly with the last two as they were only recently diagnosed. This is just meant to be a few useful tips that might help a little bit.

Go see a therapist. Even if you think you’re doing okay, it’s still good to have that support system there if you need it. Your therapist can also give you coping mechanisms that are tailored to your specific needs. They may also suggest you go on medication or refer you to a doctor who can prescribe it.

If you are taking medication, set a reminder on your phone so that you take it at the same time every day.

Set about sixteen alarms in the morning, starting half an hour before you want to wake up and spread about five to ten minutes apart. If you’re anything like me and have a lot of trouble getting to sleep, you probably have a lot of trouble getting up in the morning. This technique is a lifesaver. Also change up the alarm ~once a month. I find that my body gets used to it after a while and I just sleep right through it.

Register with your school’s disability services. Yes, your mental illness is a disability. They’ll be able to help with accommodations (this could be anything from extra time on exams to extensions on your assignments).

If you think that you might be handing in a paper late because depression is kicking your ass, message your professor at least a week in advance. If you tell them two days before, they’re not going to care. And if you end up not needing the extension, that’s okay. It’s better for it to be there if you need it.

Headphones. Everywhere. People are stupid and loud and it’s overwhelming as fuck. Wear them right up until the prof starts lecturing. Do NOT wear them during the lecture though, your prof will hate you - though you may be able to discuss it with your prof the first week. idk, maybe you have cool profs who get it.

Make a friend in your class that you can get notes from in case you can’t get out of bed. I mean this is good for anyone in case of illness in general, but yeah. Depression. Woohoo.

It’s okay if you need to take a lighter course load because of your mental health. Loads of people do it.

Related: It’s okay if you take 5+ years to complete your degree. You’ll get there.

AD(H)D friends who stim: That’s super great and you totally should. But please do not leg bounce when you’re at a desk that has all the chairs connected to it. You will shake everybody’s seat and distract them. I get the urge to leg bounce (fuck, I’m leg bouncing rn) but please try a different stim if you could. Or bounce gently. Just no earthquakes (no joke, I literally thought it was an earthquake once and was super confused why no one else was panicking. i learned nothing that day, I was so distracted).

Fidget toys are the best things ever and you can use them in lecture (provided they don’t make too much noise because your prof might yell at you for that).

Bathrooms are your new best friend for panic attacks. Hide in a stall and take a few deep breaths to calm down. There’s a lot less noise there and you’re less likely to be disturbed than if you go to a stairwell.

Breathe in for 5, hold for 5, out for 7.

5-4-3-2-1: Find five things in the room that are blue. Four things that are yellow. Three that are pink. Two that are purple. One that is green. You can substitute this with any colours you like. You can also do ones like “think of five things that start with f (and so on)” or “five tv shows that you like, four books, etc.” if you’re somewhere without a lot of colours (or in your handy bathroom stall). Repeat with new criteria or new answers until calm.

If you’ve been crying and don’t want people to know: grab some paper towels, run some cold water on them. Wipe your eyes with them. Pat your cheeks with them. It makes less of a mess than splashing your face will and I find that it helps me a lot more.

Schedule the shit out of your life. You won’t forget important meetings or things like eating dinner (whoops).

Make sure that you give yourself plenty of breaks during the day. Gotta conserve that energy, yo.

Find out when the library’s quietest and grab your books then. Same deal with the bookstore at the beginning of the year and buying your books. Please, the bookstore is scary when it’s busy. Save yourself.

Frozen dinners are cheap, easy to make, and require next to no energy. Same with cereal, ramen, and most pasta. And egg sandwiches (two eggs, hot sauce, and mayonnaise. Best thing ever.).

Great questions to ask the people who sit next to you in class: What’s your name (preface this with “Hi, I’m *blank*”)? What are you studying? Where are you from? How are you liking the class?

If you’re having trouble getting started, try for ten minutes. You may find that it’s easy to keep going after that. Or maybe you’ll need to stop but at least you’ll have gotten ten minutes of work in.

You’re doing great. This is a really hard thing that you’re doing right now, but you’ve got it.

1K notes · View notes

flower-mist · 7 years

Note

Ur gonna hate me but all of the crayon asks. Have fun!!!

*inhales* bOI

(ily)

answers are under the readmore bc l o n g

Macaroni and Cheese: What makes you think of your childhood?

crayons, ofc! also 2000s music (esp disney), yearbook photos, capri suns, those ice pop things that come in clear plastic, cedar point, the kid’s fantasy section at barnes and noble, i could keep talking for like 12 years

Spring Green: How do you relax when you’re stressed?

i read! i read so, so much. writing also helps, but it’s hard to make myself do it bc Issues™. i also watch an excessive amnt of john oliver

Asparagus: What’s an unpopular opinion you have?

listen, hot sauce on mac in cheese is so good

Bittersweet: Has someone you loved ever hurt you?

h*ck yeah

Eggplant: Explain your url and avatar.

my url is a flower that means courage! and my avatar is that flower

Outer Space: Do you ever feel like you’re an outcast from others?

H*CK YEAH

Cotton Candy: What is your favorite dessert?

i will eat approximately 50 macarons if no one stops me

Freckle: Do you have any marks on your skin? How do you feel about them?

i have a birthmark and a scar on my back from when i slid down a wall (long story) and freckles! idk i like all of them i guess, as much as i can like my body

Shocking Pink: Is there a trait that you have that others don’t expect from you?

when ppl first meet me they never expect me to swear as much as i do, idk why

Robin’s Egg Blue: If you were an animal, which one do you think would you be?

probably a cat? i took a test once and it told me i was a dik dik but like,, i want to be able to protect people, so a lion or a fox or smth would be chill

Granny Smith Apple: What’s something everyone else likes that you don’t?

WHY DO YOU ALL LIKE PEANUT BUTTER I DON’T UNDERSTAND

Dandelion: What’s a pet peeve of yours?

i rly rly rly don’t like the sound of people eating tho idk whether to file that under “sensory issue” or “pet peeve”

Atomic Tangerine: What gets you motivated to do a difficult task?

a time restriction, someone i care a lot about depending on it, spite

Wisteria: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

im really really good at writing gothic post style things

Candy Apple: How do you think others view you?

l m a o y i k e s

Plum: Are you insecure about anything?

im insecure about everything but one of the places im most insecure is whether or not people like me

Sky Blue: Where do you feel the most at home?

with the people i love most

Tickle Me Pink: How do you try to cheer others up when they’re sad?

being there to listen, sending them cute animals or memes, writing things for them, etc

Wild Strawberry: Do you care what others think about you?

wayyyy too much

Glossy Grape: Recommend something to your followers.

WATCH VOLTRON PLS I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO ABT IT

World Wide Web Yellow: What was the last thing you looked up?

“john oliver”

Shadow Blue: Do you have a darker side to you that most people are unaware of?

im not really sure what “darker” means but probably?

Electric Lime: What genre of music do you listen to?

literally everything tho im not super into hardcore country

Night Owl: Describe a very interesting dream that you had.

i rarely remember my dreams but one time i was definitely on a quest to save the world and i broke into a building via a roof

that’s all i remember abt it

Cornflower: What do you think about the most?

dogs and how much i love them

Grasshopper Green: Describe the area where you live.

my dad’s house is part of a complex of town homes. all the houses are very white, and there’s neatly trimmed park areas in between. my favorite part of this area is by the highway where the wildflowers grow. they cut down the last of the woods last year

Misty Moss: Is there anything you regret?

yes

Tiny Toad Brown: Do you find beauty in something that people consider to be ugly or undesirable?

snakes are pretty!!!! dont hate on snakes!!!!!!!!! unless you have a genuine fear of them bc thats valid but don’t be petty its not cool!!!!!!!

Sunny Side Up: Do you like waking up in the mornings, or would you rather sleep in?

i love waking up in the morning but i usually mess up my sleep schedule too much to be able to do it

Kitten Gray: Do you have any pets? If so, describe them.

I HAVE TWO CATS THEY ARE LARGE AND FLUFFY AND KIND OF ACT LIKE DOGS AND NOT THAT SMART BUT I LOVE THEM SOMETIMES THEY PURR AT ME AND IM A SUCCESS

Rose Dust: Describe your aesthetic in five words or less.

stardust, honey, rain, old books (hopefully)

Timberwolf: Do you give second chances when somebody has wronged you?

depends on how far they went

Freshly Squeezed: What excites you?

literally everything im interested in bc i get super invested in things and also my friends being excited about something

Firefly Red: What gives you purpose?

the people i love, fear, spite, laughter, ice cream

Tiny Teapot Tan: Do you consider yourself to be attractive/cute?

lmao no

im okay sometimes but like, that’s rare

Rain Drop Blue: Describe the weather outside.

it is currently cloudy as fuck and also cold

Sweet Pea Green: Do you have/want children?

i don’t think im in a place where i can make that decision for myself yet

Pussywillow: Do you like being around others, or do you like being alone?

yes and no? social situations are very draining for me bc anxiety/introversion, but i absolutely love spending time w my close friends

Jack ‘O’ Lantern Orange: What’s your biggest fear and why?

highkey not gonna talk about that on a public forum

Baby Bunny Pink: Do you look young for your age, or do you look older than you are?

one time i went to get the oil changed for my car and the person at the counter asked me if i was 12

Mystic Maroon: What confuses you, and why?

people confuse me bc

people

Cosmic Cobalt: What’s your zodiac sign, and do you think it’s accurate?

pisces! and it’s a very very good fit for me

Petal Pink: Describe your fashion sense as well as what you’re wearing right now.

idk rn it’s mostly sweaters and plaid and converse? but my style differs a lot based on gender stuff so idkkkkkk

Mountain Meadow: Do you like taking care of others, or do you prefer being care of?

yes?

Fuzzy Duckling Yellow: Is there something from childhood that you haven’t outgrown?

literally everything i will never outgrow my childhood

Brussel Sproutlet: Do you have any unhealthy habits?

*gestures to all of me*

Razzle Dazzle Rose: Describe an ideal date.

yikes this is hard bc like

okay this is going to sound rly rly stupid but im good with almost anything just so long as im spending time with the person?

i guess doing anything that makes them comfortable/happy

that was such a non-answer, ill come up with a real one at some pt

Periwinkle: What’s something ordinary that has personal meaning to you?

my necklace is gr8

Mauvelous: Do you think you deserve a better life than you have now?

probably not

Blueberry Blue: Do you get sad easily?

h*ck yeah

Purple Mountains Majesty: How does someone earn your respect?

by treating others with respect and kindness

holy shit that was so many but thank u!!!

jonathon took all of these so here are more questions if you want to ask some

#so many #thank #weareallthesameintheend #cas answers

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fertsza · 4 years

Text

Urban english

Hi there / Howdy

wack - lame - shitty

what could u possibly have done to it, its all the way up there

I’m down for whatever

deadass - i shit you not

he just showed up holding it like this is a normal thing

Sorry ass

dickhed - dumbass - jerk - cunt - motherfucker - douchebag

GPA = moyenne

now we’re talking

Fam

tbh = ngl

GOAT = greatest of all the time

Gucci = cool

FOMO = Fear Of Missing Out

JOMO = Joy Of Missing Out

Hang up = raccrocher

Y R RUNNING

Stud = bg

I don’t buy it = i dont believe it

That was messed up

Badass - lit - dope

Soon or later = tot ou tard

ur having fun w this, dont even lie

9 = ya un parent autour, fo faire attention a ce qu’on va dire

Having a hard time

Not only are you...

As long as...

Get over that

Can’t handle

Make sure to

As if

how about

get yo arse right back here

Definitely

It was a pleasure

Lets pass on those

Stop being dramatic

This creep me out

Thanks for coming / thanks for having me

Awful / terrible / horrible

Picky

Choose someone over...

Those days ( passé)

These days (present)

Smelly

always thinking he’s right no matter what

5 seconds rule

Run out of smthin

stone = fonsdé

How about (one beer)

What about

What if

i have a v fast metabolism so i can eat a lotta food n i actually struggle to gain weight lol #blessed

Its not what it looks like

Catfishing = essayer de séduire qq1 sur internet avec un faux cpte

Ghosting some1 = disparaître de leur vie

Slow fade = un peu moins violent que le ghosting

Go to Dutch = chacun s’occupe de soit, genre le resto, chacun paie son repas

To have a lot of baggage = qq1 avec un lourd passé

To Hit it off = ya eu un bon feeling avec cette personne (amicale, business, amour)

On again/off again = selena & justin

To break it off = larguer qq1

Did you get some sleep ? a couple hours

You already mentioned it

Hell yeh

In terms of...

Then once you get that

Borrow = prêter mais pas que l’argent

In my opinion

Over a night

Check it out

Little does he know

My pleasure, any time

It was the other way around= l’inverse

So happy to have you both

We don’t talk about shit that matters

But not lately = pas récemment

There’s a lot going on

Leftover = des restes

Easy ! = doucement

I see that for sure

Fair enough

And how about lunch

Have a great experience w the company

And stuff = et tout

Hi this is levik speaking w honeybelle, ...

Can we make it ? = c’est faisable ?

We’re working on it = qd on mange qqchose au resto et qu’il nous demande si on a fini alors que nn

How it turns out

It takes too much room

Later on

Limited knowledge

Versus

Dump = larguer

Let’s just say / what it does

From what i know

Wya

If doest that make sense

Let me get..

Can i have some = casom

Can u spot me

No shit who even...

Piece of shit

Movie theater

Eventually = ... finit par

You’re trying to go out tonight

Screw it

Knock out

Oof

Speak for yourself

Give it a year and you’ll see how it used to be

How did u find out about us

Get a refund

How long is the wait

Crackhead

Pull up = se garer

Knock on the door

That’s rude

bitch wtf

Processed food

Hangry = slang word for hungry

Yeh so what ?!

Camera rolls = galerie

I woke up to a pimple

bet = ok

cheeks = bad

u cheeks at smthin

wig = crazy

wig flew

Tea = true

spill the tea = tell the truth

Yack /puke= vomitar

Busted = shitty/bad

Busted a nut

Cake = big butt

DTF = down to fuck

For here or to go

Neat = soigné/bien rangé

Live up to = être a la hauteur

Starting off

Crackhead= drogué

looks like she went through a lot

Scratching all the way down

don’t work too hard

Blunt

bitch u got me fucked up

You brought it up to someone

In my defense

To make sure

How am i gonna do that you may ask

I am bullied

Thanks for having me

It rlly do be like that smtimes

How do u feel about me giving u a tattoo

Fair point

In terms of

It just got to the point where it was simple

I couldn’t cope w being at

What is it like

Instead of = or else

Wasup - not so much

i wish i was out there

Want him to give you his bank details while he's at it????

It tastes like ass

u had one job

fuck smthin up = merder

i mean like i j didnt think i was gna get to this point so fast

Thats kinda fucked up

Idk thats magic

Yeh that hurtED

Have fun bitch a$$

she looks like shes been through a lot

Weird flew but ok

Clear my schedule

Get off my arseee

As you wait, you can..

my dumbass knows only one

Shut up u didnt do that

Meaning that

What am i hearing is that

Thats a gr8 question

When it comes to

Lowkey this is fire

At such a young age

Just give it 4 mins

Stop exposing/bullying me

Did i ask, mind yo own business

How about...

I lost my shit when he said

I never pooped b4 but This shit has me weak asf

i think its sensational

sorry i don’t normally have anger issues

ur peepee, ur perfect personality

Ur 12

I did a oopsie

Although I’ll never get married

We’re gon make this shit happen

My ass

Dont get me wrong

How do u guys feel abt that

sorry im being v negative, i feel like im negative a lot n im worried abt it

Im flipping my shit rn

No wonder why

Next thing u know

I’m a pacifist but u would pass these fists

Someone get their man

Running out of words

Im not fuckin around

I hate bitches

Run at me = run that shit = fight me

Let me be red a little quick

Lets bounce = lets dip = on se tire

That was my shit

Damn shortie okey

To shove = foutre/mettre

Expel = exclure

I said what i said

lay over = escale

ew why am i being cringey 2day, who told me it was okey to say things like bae

for a hot minute

I dont want u to make a face at me/to be mean to me bc im sharing w u bc i think its funny

To shit (past) = sharted

Stop being a stubborn piece of shit

Bitch you’re tripping

What is he on abt

Roating

The water got run

Its like one of of those things that sounded a lot better in my head and i said it and im like im fking stupid

Cmon make up ur mind

Im j kidding u dumb bitch i know u cant read

clingy = collant

ok im done overreacting

Hometown

Ok Picture this

Kenny smells like meldoo

Chips u owe me a drink

They wanna hate everything that i do n that i make for them bc they wanna bully me bc its fun for them

U lost ur shit like big time

Roast/bully

When you’re gone, everybody gets used to you being gone bc u cant j mourn for the rest of your life

i want my brain to get constipated so my ideas aint leaving my head

if i leave, im scared that u gon get used to forgetting abt me, u gon get used to me not being here

they dont deserve my funny ass

Okey fire

they aren’t playing around

0 notes

jeremystrele · 5 years

Text

A Day In The Life Of Benjamin Law, Writer

A Day In The Life

by Sally Tabart

One of the first thing’s Benjamin Law does every day is clear out his inbox before 9am. Photo – Alisha Gore for The Design Files.

Bits and bobs from Ben’s house. Photo – Alisha Gore for The Design Files.

‘You’re allowed to say “no” and you don’t have to give a reason. Simply say you’re unavailable and unable. This is a much better alternative to saying “yes” just to get someone off your back, and making your future self furious at you,’ says Ben. Photo – Alisha Gore for The Design Files.

Spending a lot of writing time alone, Ben tries to leave the house at lunchtime. Here he is at Boon Cafe in Haymarket. Photo – Alisha Gore for The Design Files.

Usually Ben eats his breakfast with green tea, or sometimes a Virgin Mary – hot and spicy V8 juice with squeezed lemon. Photo – Alisha Gore for The Design Files.

Photo – Alisha Gore for The Design Files.

Ben exercises after 5pm most days, either swimming or yoga. He loves swimming at The Prince Alfred Pool in Surry Hills. Ben at Photo – Alisha Gore for The Design Files.

The first person in Speedos on TDF! Photo – Alisha Gore for The Design Files.

Writing about a writer is one of the most daunting tasks for… a writer. I’m always worried about doing something sloppy, like repeating the same word three times in one sentence (see: previous sentence). It’s especially nerve-wracking when the subject is as prolific as Benjamin Law, one of the defining voices in Australian culture over the past 10 years.

Ben grew up on the Sunshine Coast, to Cantonese parents who migrated to Australia via Southern China (Ben’s Dad) and Malaysia (Ben’s Mum), via Hong Kong. Based in Sydney, Ben describes himself now as pretty much the same as when he was a kid: ‘obsessed with sex, annoyingly attention-hogging, insatiably curious but could be immediately reduced to silence if you put a good book, movie, TV show or magazine in front of me.’ Only these days, he’s the one writing the material.

In 2010 Ben published the hilarious, poignant memoir, The Family Law, and then in 2012 a travel book exploring the queer experience in Asia, Gaysia: Adventures in the Queer East. Both were nominated for Australian Book Industry Awards, and the former was later adapted into a groundbreaking TV series on SBS. He’s written more books, countless features and worked on film and television projects. He’s also working on a play – because clearly, he doesn’t have enough going on right now!

Next week, Ben’s latest endeavor – a documentary called Waltzing the Dragon – will premiere on ABC, where Ben travels with his parents from remote Northern Australia to Chinese megacities to explore the overlap in cultures. ‘On one level, it’s a history of the Chinese in Australia – a history that pre-dates the First Fleet and white arrival on this continent by centuries – but it’s also a massive road-trip with my um and Dad to find our own roots,’ Ben explains. ‘Some of the stuff we unearth will completely up-end your understanding not just of Chinese-Australian history, but Australian history in general.’

No two days are ever the same for Ben. ‘I don’t really have anything resembling structure nowadays’, he admits. In lieu of regular programming, he has a ‘some habits and ground rules’ to keep it all together – showering first thing, clearing out his inbox before 9am (‘it’s like a healthy little mind audit before the workday starts’), exercising and at the end of the day, truly switching off and decompressing with his boyfriend.

Ben is a wealth of wisdom when it comes to carving out space for himself in the midst of a sometimes chaotic, always random routine. From scheduling his iCal ‘down to the minute’ to stopping all things digital by 10pm, Ben shares how he gets it all done.

FIRST THING

I like the idea of getting up by 6.30am because I enjoy the feeling of having a headstart on everyone else, but it’s usually 7.30am. I like reading before bed and I usually do that until midnight, and I need exactly 7.5 hours sleep. It’s like my body’s finally said, ‘It’s non-negotiable.’ I’m also a super-deep sleeper. Waking up is like trying to exhume something dead from an oceanic trench. But for the last few years, I’ve used an amazing app called Sleep Cycle, which both monitors your sleep and ensures you wake up at a point in your sleep where it’s not jarring and horrible. I love it so much.

My boyfriend is usually up before me and he’s usually watching ABC News Breakfast while reading the news; I tend to prefer having ABC RN Breakfast on the radio with Fran Kelly or Hamish MacDonald.

I do a poo, have a shower then clear my inbox. Sorry: is that too graphic? Basically, it’s a lot of purging and cleansing from when I wake up until 9am.

MORNING

Breakfast often makes me gag, so it’s usually something light, like miso soup and fruit, or toast with butter and vegemite, and crunchy peanut butter with honey. And it’s usually with green tea, or sometimes a Virgin Mary – hot and spicy V8 juice with squeezed lemon.

Then I work: whether that’s doing interviews for Good Weekend, prepping Stop Everything – the ABC RN pop culture show I co-host with Beverley Wang– or just writing for a deadline or project.

If I’m about to launch into writing that requires proper focus, I forcibly disable the internet by activating Freedom on my laptop and Forest on my phone.

LUNCHTIME

On writing days, it’s common that I won’t even leave the house or have any human contact until 5pm – and perhaps a bit disgustingly, I don’t actually mind that at all. But sometimes I’ll pop down to Spice Alley – which is super close to where we live – for a cheap and cheery lunch.

AFTERNOON

It’s usually just writing, meetings and admin all arvo – a big happy horrible mess. My iCal is colour-coded within an inch of its life for this reason. Basically, my work is kind of like triage all day, and then I try to ensure the bleeding stops by 5pm.

EVENING

I try to finish by 5pm. It’s tempting for freelancers to keep working, but unless I’ve got a deadline in the next hour, I tell myself to stop. Because there’s always more work that could be done. It’s really important to me to sound boundaries nowadays.

After 5pm, I try to take a break – check the mail, do some housework, laundry, clean the kitchen, meal prep for dinner – then either swim laps, go to the gym or do some yoga with this great app called Pocket Yoga, which I prefer to classes.

I then make dinner, catch up with my boyfriend Scott, decompress, watch the news and Leigh Sales on 7.30, then it’s whatever we’re watching. Some of the stuff we’ve loved this year have included Pose, Stranger Things, Fleabag, Catastrophe and Game of Thrones. And RuPaul’s Drag Race, obviously.

LAST THING

Work-wise, I always give my inbox a little late-night purge again, if possible. Then I go into iCal and I plan the next day right down to the last minute, including breaks, exercise and social stuff with mates. If I have to be my own boss, I figure I can ride my own arse. And there’s no white space in the iCal, because if there is, I know my instinct is to fill it with work. So I trick myself by scheduling my breaks.

Over the last year or so, I’ve kept to a new habit: around 10pm, I set my phone’s alarm clock (via Sleep Cycle), switch on the Do Not Disturb mode and have it lying face down. Then I have a shower – as if to wash off the day and my digital reliance – and come into bed to read a book. Sometimes it’ll be The New Yorker, but it has to be on paper. I’ve gotten my boyfriend into the habit too, and I think it’s actually my favourite part of the day: feet tangled under the doona, each of us immersed in something.

Ben working from his standup desk at home. Photo – Alisha Gore for The Design Files.

Right now I’m listening to/watching/reading…

Music: Mark Ronson’s Late Night Feelings; Gabriel Kahane’s Book of Travelers; and new tracks Washington (Megan Washinton, who’s a mate of mine) has been working on.

Podcasts: Internationally: Fresh Air, Still Processing, Nancy, Touré Show, New Yorker Radio Hour. Australian: The Signal, Background Briefing, Conversations, Ladies, We Need to Talk.

Reading: A combo of Vicki Laveau-Harvie’s The Erratics, Deray McKesson’s On the Other Side of Freedom and Ocean Vuong’s On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous. The last few books I’ve really devoured have been Rebecca Makkai’s The Great Believers and Max Porter’s Lanny.

One important thing I do every day is… Move my body. And decompress with my boyfriend.

I get my best work done when… I’m able to give it the time it warrants. It’s better to allocate the right amount of time something needs – and breathing room in case it goes wrong – rather than constantly being a deluded time-optimist.

A philosophy I live and work by is… When deciding on projects, Laurie Anderson says it needs to fulfill two of the following three criteria: it has to be fun, it has to be interesting and it has to make money. It can’t just tick one box: only two or more. Similarly, I need projects to be fun, challenging, make money and I need to have the time.

My productivity tip/tool is…

If you need time away from the internet, install Freedom onto your computer and Forest on your phone. Forest is an app that’s like a Tamagotchi: you plant a virtual cartoon seed for a set time. If you check another app in that time, your plant dies and you have a dead forest. It’s a surprisingly emotional experience!

Another big breakthrough I had is with transcribing interviews. Traditionally it took me about 120 minutes to transcribe a 30-minute conversation. It’s so painful. And all the voice transcription software I’d ever tried over the past decade has been shit. But my boyfriend and some mates put me onto Otter recently and it’s been life-changing. I almost get emotional about it.

Finally: all huge tasks are like bricklaying. You’ve got to break down big goals. Don’t just have ‘write book’ or ‘write play’ as your daily task, otherwise, you’ll intimidate and scare the shit out of yourself. Break it into monthly goals (eg. finish chapter), and break those into weekly goals (eg. complete key interviews) and break those into daily (eg. 750-1000 words) then hourly goals (125 words per hour doesn’t seem that intimidating, suddenly). It also means you have closure on the day and feel like you can reward yourself.

Something I learned the hard way is… You’re allowed to say ‘no’ and you don’t have to give a reason. Simply say you’re unavailable and unable. This is a much better alternative to saying ‘yes’ just to get someone off your back, and making your future self furious at you.

Tune into the first episode of Waltzing The Dragon With Benjamin Law this Tuesday, July 30th at 8.30pm on ABC, or catch it later on ABC iView!

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itsadiarywhatever · 7 years

Text

uggggghhhh sept 5

Back again with your occasional dose of I feel like shit rn. Hows it going everyone alright? Its been a hot minute huh? But im back bitches lol so here we go.......... I mean I kind of have an excuse for my shit right now, well a few actually. Im hella emotional because of my period which is a new thing for me because I don’t really experience PMS so that’s fun haha but i also have been having some issues with my anxiety. Its a reoccurring tragedy in my life for me to think to much and basically psych myself out of life lately I've been reading some articles and I am trying to attribute the spikes to increase intake of caffeine. The theory is that I consume more than an average amount of caffeine therefore my neurotransmitters are stuck in overdrive causing me to think very fast and frantically and when I run out of logical things to think about i break down negative situations and over think and analyze these situations until I can find where I am at fault causing my irritation, or being upset at that situation to be invalid. It sounds crazy because it is but I need someway to justify it lol Also with Band and the start of the new semester and going back to work, and my relationships the amount off stress just boiling in my head is frustratingly noticeable, like I have no choice but to think about it I constantly find myself looking for an out I just want an hour or two of not having to think just being able to lay down and breathe but i know if i get it im just going to regret it as soon as i start thinking again because there is so much other shit i should have been doing with this time. This is what happens when I smoke I feel so god damn good, my head is clear and I can breathe I can relax and feel happy and then i wake up and remember that I have 7 homework assignments, a short story and two philosophical essays to read, I have to spend enough time with my friends so they don’t get upset because I want to spend time with my boyfriend, spending time with my boyfriend isn't hard but its the having to know where i want to eat or what to talk about or worrying about whether my arm being on him is uncomfortable to him, or if he’d rather be doing something else, every so often running through flag routines in my head to make sure I remember them because I don’t want to fuck it up, and this week im working around 20 hrs and that’s 20 less hours I have to do my homework so i need to make a schedule but when I try to schedule everything I cant breathe because there isn’t enough time to do everything and sleep and shower and eat and function BUT OTHER PEOPLE DO IT SO WHY CANT I and the thing is I can do it its all the thinking and the processing psyching myself out but it doesn't stop me because I still do all of it I am just so god damn tired of thinking about it and when I try to talk about it one of two things happens I just cant speak nothing comes out, or as soon as it comes out I all but take it back saying but its okay I can handle it its not a big deal im fine which isn’t even to assure the other person because they probably don’t care but to assure my self that Im not burdening them with my problems, because who am i to trouble someone else. Its hard to talk when you are scared with every word that you are just annoying someone else wasting their time and thats why i come here, thats why i write because nobody is listening Im bothering anyone, no one follows me so im not taking up space in anyones feed. I can say what i need to say I can tell the truth and get it all out so its not a jumbled mess in my head anymore its organized and in a file that i can shove back and have taking up at least a smaller space and not so pressing on my mind its still there and I know it is but it helps just a little kind of like smoking a little relief. it doesn't clear my mind but it feels a little productive at least.

- (@itsadiarywhatever )

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