#my own personal mystery that I chose to never solve
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OMG HIHI so I saw some of your posts and I was like “OMG THIS IS SO GOOD??” So obviously I HAD TO MADE A REQUEST (ofc if it’s open‼️)
OKAY SOO I was wondering YK if you would be comfortable enough to make a Vil schoenheit x (gn or fem) Ace detective! Reader
(LIKEE.. Idk for example like let’s take Goro Akechi from persona 5 as a example, OR EVEN RANPO FROM BSD)
ANYWAY you have an AMAZING DAY, WONDERFUL WEEK AND AN AWESOME MONTH‼️
A/N: That was such a curious request! I had a lot of fun working on it, and I thank you dearly for all kind words. Also, I decided mostly to take Ranpo as an inspiration for the character—his belief that his superpower is the deduction fits the setting nicely.
VIL SCHOENHEIT AND GN!READER, WHO IS PROFESSIONAL DETECTIVE
— From the very childhood, you were a quite unique kid. You knew everything about everyone as you noticed the smallest details that others people would never see. And these observations helped you to make a logical conclusion about the person. You were too smart for your own good;
— Your family liked to teasingly call you Sherlock Holmes wannabe, but you knew it better: it was some kind of superpower. It had to be it;
— Others laughed, hearing about that. Until... You woke up in the world of mages, beastmen, and others creatures. And everything started to make more sense;
— When you declared to the headmaster that your unique magic is about being a perfect detective, he was suspicious at first. And so, you decided to prove him wrong;
— You did. Thanks to your powers, you were able to determine the strangeness in other students' attitude;
— You saw through Riddle in your first meeting with him. It took a three minutes to tell that he had problems with over-controlling mother. And so, mixed with your straightforwardness, you helped him not to overblot;
— The same thing happened with Leona. You cracked his plan in the right time, and prevented everything before it even started;
— Your personal favourite case was Scarabia's one. You caught Jamil so quickly—mostly, because he acted too hot-headedly, living evidences everywhere, but it was his motive that flared up your interest;
— As you stopped students from overblotting easily, diving deeper in their stories, excitement filled you even more;
— And so, Crowley unwillingly admitted that you, indeed, should have some powers to do what you do;
— When you were assigned to help with the VDC, you found out the next possible victim of the overblot in a few seconds—Vil Schoenheit himself! And not only that, but you even managed to figure out the little secret of his vice;
— However, you took some time to catch him red-handed on something, to trigger the conversation. That happened when he wanted to poison his rival;
— Vil was devastated by your involvement. But, to his surprise, you chose to speak with him about it privately;
— He didn't overblot. Instead, he broke down in front of you, in the empty dressing room;
— After that, Vil started to respect you even more than. before. If earlier, he thought highly to you because of your merits, now, he also was aware of his respectful you treating people, choosing to talk with them and help.
— He became your friend, eventually;
— Running around, solving mysteries, and doing gods know what, you forgot about a lot of things—drinking water, eating your meals, taking care of your appearance. And so, Vil always looked after you, offering his help in shy attempts to spend some time with you;
— However, there was one thing that he couldn't quite understand about you...
•
”Urgh, give me a week, and I will finish with Ignihyde as well,” you muttered, frowning, while Vil was combing through your wet hair. ”With all of my work, I can't understand how this stupid mirror can't already sort me in some dorm. At this point, I will be fine even with Savannaclaw.”
The thing was... Mirror continued insisting that you held no magical powers to your name.
And the more Vil spent time around you, he started to agree with that—you were human. Human without any powers.
What you think was your unique magic was just your brain. You were smart, you were ridiculously unbeatable in that, surely, you knew it yourself. Then, why you had this urge to think that it was magic and not you, who made everything better?
”Y/n?”
”Hm?”
”Why do you want to have magical power so badly?”
Vil could easily assume that it was because you stuck there, with them, in the place, where everyone had magic. Anyone on your place could have felt inferior about that. But the thing was, you thought, this magic was with you since you were little.
”I don't,” you protested instantly. ”I just have it—and that's the fact.”
”Even in our world, there a lot of people without magic,” he added. ”My father, for example. And—”
”...You don't believe that I am a mage?” You cut through his words sharply.
He couldn't see your face from where he was standing, but he could tell you sounded upset. Vil had no intentions to hurt you, but... He had no reason to lie to you, either. He liked to be honest with people he loved, and he loved you, truly.
”I think, you are the smartest person I had ever know,” he hummed, carefully choosing his next words. ”But that has nothing to do with magic.”
You were silent for a while, and he stopped stroking your hair.
”...But I had to be special, Vil,” you whispered suddenly. ”If I am not, then... No one would pay attention to me anymore.”
Vil knew very little about your previous life.
Perhaps, you had neglectful parents, and it was your way to make them to look at you. Or, maybe, you had too many siblings to feel loved enough.
There were so many scenarios that could explain your arrogant belief, but Vil wasn't you—he couldn't tell people about their lives merely by glancing at them.
”Oh, dear,” he made a circle around you, stopping right in front of you. He took your face in his hands carefully. ”But you are special. Just not in the way we are.”
”But—”
”In fact, I think, you are even more special than we,” Vil squished your cheeks together, so you could stay silent for a while. ”Because our magic could be taken away, and what you have is something that cannot be stripped away.”
You looked down, chewing on your bottom lip nervously. Vil leaned closer, kissing you on the tip of your nose gently. It reddened instantly—exactly for this, he started calling you radish, instead of using a potato nickname—and he smiled.
”You are the most special person I had ever met,” he whispered, as if it was a secret to be shared carefully. ”And you are even more special to my heart. Please, remember that.”
You nodded weakly.
Vil didn't expect you to answer right away, either on his confession, or on the statement about the lack of magic in you. You spent too much time, persuading yourself that you were a mage. Kind words couldn't erase it so easily.
Yet, he knew that you heard him.
And for now, it was enough.
After all, both of you had enough time to figure everything out.
Together.
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The Apothecary Diaries
S1E4 First Watch
Here's where I watch The Apothecary Diaries for the first time and give my thoughts, analysis, predictions, and occasionally I stumble into a joke.
My character/place cheat sheet
Lady Lihua - the sick concubine
Crystal Pavilion - Lady Lihua's abode
Jade Pavilion - Lady Gyokuyou's abode
Xiaolan - a servant friend of Maomao's
Oh snap. So that person who visited at the end of the last episode was THE EMPEROR. I don't like that Maomao is on his radar. I'm going to go ahead and blame Jinshi for this.
Lady Lihua is unwell and since Maomao is now a famous apothecary she is tasked with healing her. It's not something she can refuse or afford to fail at, though Lady Lihua's own ladies are making it challenging.
They don't trust Maomao, and so they prevent her from treating Lady Lihua, however shortsighted that may be. First of all they prevent their lady from getting better by denying her Maomao's care, second, they undermine the emperor's will. Maomao is going to be forced to deal with palace politics before she can treat her patient.
It is weird how the emperor approached Maomao. He could have summoned her to meet him anywhere, or simply passed down a command. He chose to go to the Jade Pavilion and meet Maomao face-to-face and in front of Lady Gyokuyou. It's as if he doesn't know or doesn't care about harem politics. I'm guessing that he does though. I bet he knows exactly what he's doing, even if Maomao and I don't.
I do not like his interest in Maomao.
Jinshi has come to help Maomao gain access to Lady Lihua so she can diagnose and treat her. He is so unnerving sometimes. When he notices the other ladies watching he rushes up on Maomao (is he trying to start rumors?) and whispers the following:
If it helps, I can come inside.
Which sounds... I mean, it's probably just the way it translated... I'm sure it's just me...
But Maomao looks like she nearly barfed on him! Which is probably the highlight of Jinshi's day.
The ladies comply when faced with the full power of Jinshi's smile (one lady literally fainted). Maomao comments:
Scary how women can change so quickly.
Jinshi knows the effect he has on women, but looks to Maomao after she says it, maybe wondering for the hundredth time how to get his charm to work on Maomao.
Side bar. This show is ALL about what is happening between Maomao and Jinshi. This is where the tension is, and it's where the story is happening. What happens between these two characters will have an effect on every other plotline and supporting character. If it seems like I spend too much time watching and analyzing this relationship, it's because I believe it to be the heart of the show.
Maomao! Holy shit Maomao! Goddamn if that wasn't the most lady boss thing I've ever seen!
Shall I even try to describe this scene? I'll never do this badassery justice, but its worth reviewing anyway.
She solves the mystery immediately, which, of course, and she's so far passed pissed off. When she realizes what's happened she growls in anger. She contains her rage only long enough to confirm who is responsible before slapping the lady across the face!
Lady: What is wrong with you!
Maomao: Me? Just punishing an idiot, clearly.
Friends. I am breathless. I think I gasped and then held it to the end of the scene.
Maomao dumps the poisonous powder on the lady's head. She then lays out in no uncertain terms what the poison does to one's body. Maomao is grappling to accept just how stupid this lady is, nearly shaking as she is incandescent with rage.
She slaps the woman again this time smearing the poisonous powder on her face while she screams:
You think she wants to be adorned in the poison that killed her son?!
The woman finally breaks down crying and Maomao is done with her. She takes charge and starts barking orders to the other ladies who are so terrified that they don't even think about disobeying.
Jinshi looks like he's just had a religious experience, but manages to pull out the perfect callback:
Scary how women can change so quickly.
God I love this character.
Facing Jinshi, Maomao comes back to herself. The ramifications of what she has done start to set in. I don't know if there will be fallout from the Crystal Pavilion from her bossing around Lady Lihua's ladies. I suspect they aren't going to broadcast what happened because they are criminally liable for poisoning their the concubine and also because this story makes them lose all face. Plus, Maomao is saving Lady Lihua's life. Regardless, I am confident that having Jinshi there to witness it all, will have consequences.
Dutiful Maomao then fully assumes control of Lady Lihua's care and commands the ladies with an iron fist. She can hardly tolerate the incompetency that has been standard in this pavilion. It really is a curse to be the smartest person in the room.
Jinshi: You're looking tired.
Maomao: Thanks. Unlike someone, I have been busy.
This is now what passes for a casual greeting between these two.
Jinshi, playfully, but probably sincerely, acknowledging Maomao's hard work; offering her validation, and implied appreciation. Maomao coming back with sarcasm and a playful barb. And they are both are getting exactly what they want from the other. Maomao appreciates that her hard work and skills are being acknowledged and Jinshi loves that someone is casual enough with him to tease him. I suspect he gets none of that any where else. She's may be the only one in his life who treats him like a regular person instead of a prince palace manager.
You can see each of them becoming more comfortable with each other as they learn where the lines lie. They are leaning how to give and take and discovering the ways the other prefers to be treated. Furthermore, instead of using those discoveries to push the other away or discourage them, they are giving the other what they want and inviting them to come closer.
Friends! These two are flirting!
And if that ain't proof enough, Jinshi Gaoshun gives Maomao some steamed buns and she thinks the following:
He knows the way to a girl's heart! It's the considerate guys like him who become good husbands. Too bad he's a eunuch.
So food is Maomao's love language. Same Maomao, same. But maybe don't try to be quite so transparent in front of Jinshi, he will use this against you.
Maomao is thinking of Gaoshun here but for what it's worth, it is Jinshi who knows the way to a girl's heart. He's been figuring out Maomao for a few episodes already, hence why she is receiving steamed buns from Gaoshun. He knows the food will cheer her up, but not if it come from him. Which is why Gaoshun is the one handing it over, even though he said the gift is from both of them.
Maomao interprets the gift in the way that lets her best enjoy the buns. And though she isn't admitting it, she is aware who the gift is really from, and might want to do some introspection on what she just thought about the gift giver.
Jinshi is offering to help Maomao. Whatever she wants. And he's turned the charm all the way up. Like, with all the sparkles ✨. I don't know if Maomao is totally immune to it, but it's not as effective as Jinshi would like. He hasn't abandoned the sultry look method yet. I wonder if he will just keep trying to see if anything shifts. In the meantime, it's far from his only tool of seduction.
His offer of help is good. Maomao of course won't take advantage of this for her own means, but if she can use Jinshi's help to treat her patient? Sold. Jinshi is happy to comply and win points with Maomao in return. I don't think Maomao totally trusts his altruism though. She tries to justify herself by saying:
We have to use whatever we have in this life.
And Maomao's efforts do pay off. Lady Lihua begins to recover. Eventually, Maomao is able to depart from the Crystal Pavilion. But not before collapsing in exhaustion, and having Lady Lihua gently stroke her head. Perhaps Lady Lihua is grateful and will become a support to Maomao in the future? Or at least give her some consideration while engaging in palace politics. Maybe try to mitigate the danger that could fall to Maomao. We shall see.
Maomao has so far had a positive impact on the people she interacts with. She saved Lady Gyokuyou and her baby, supports the ladies in the Jade Pavilion, assists the palace doctor, has solved multiple mysteries for Jinshi, not mention just generally brightens his day, and now has saved the life of Lady Lihua. She's too good at what she does, and too lovable not to charm everyone around her. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Surely there are some in the palace who feel very differently about Maomao. For now she's still gaining allies.
And nice. Maomao is offering courtesan tricks to the emperor's concubine. Maomao is helping break down class lines one sex technique at a time!
I like what she told Lady Lihua:
There are hundreds, if not thousands of flowers in the world. Comparing a peony to a bellflower is pointless. Who has the right to judge which is more beautiful.
After which, she immediately compares her own body to Lady Lihua's, recognizing Lady Lihua's "magnificent" "assets." I wonder which of her own assets Maomao acknowledges. Does she consider herself to be a beautiful flower too?
Maomao returns to the Jade Pavilion and is warmly welcomed by the ladies in waiting who instantly worry over her. Which, as I've said before, I love. Maomao is always willing to sacrifice herself for others. She did it this time for Lady Lihua, by working herself to exhaustion. The ladies at Jade Pavilion notice that she's lost weight while she's been gone, and acknowledge how hard it must have been to be at the other pavilion. Maomao is so good at caring for others and absolute shit at caring for herself. Luckily, now she has people who look out for her, and care about her well-being.
Jinshi is privately very proud of Maomao. He credits her with completing the emperor's mission all on her own, which... she did not. Lady Lihua would have died if Jinshi hadn't stepped in to help Maomao gain access to her patient. Still good on him for recognizing her hard work and skill. Now tell it to her face.
I guess the point in showing him thinking of it here rather than saying it, is to let us, the viewers, know that he is sincere. When he compliments Maomao he does it a little playfully, and she can never be too sure if he is just messing with her or if he is in earnest.
Also, Gaoshun sees exactly what is happening between Jinshi and Maomao, even if the two of them don't recognize it yet.
And the set up for next episode's mystery of the week is cursed hands. Cool.
If you like this kind of thing, let me know! For some reason I've committed myself to blogging this whole show. It's a little hard because, while I enjoy this and I get a whole lot more out of the story this way, I am also deeply intrigued at this point and tempted to just binge the rest.
If you want to start from the beginning of these reviews:
Episode 1
Next episode
Episode 5
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HIII I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL
may i please request prompt 49 and 51 for William James Moriarty from mtp?
Like the reader is as smart as william and helps him with his plans and stuff and they both fall for each other but can't be together?
Thank you, have a great day!!
# tags: scenario; kinda lovers/enemies; unrequited love; light romance; mostly drama; also angst; reader as police inspector; mention of murder and blood; nsfw
includes: gender neutral reader ft. william james moriarty {mtp}
author’s note: long time no see. sorry for that but thank you sm for your request; due to the rules i only chose the one number you asked for :) i hope you like it, love u all
49. “I told you this is how it ends.”
You looked with visible regret at the figure sitting across from you, on an uncomfortable chair in a cramped room lit by dim white light. Next to you stood your friend and co-worker, who is a five years older than you, and opposite your person, with a calm expression on his face, sat William, who just a few days ago was drinking tea with lemon with you, and today he was accused of murder. And with particular cruelty.
The young man, however, didn’t reveal anything; no sadness, no bitterness, his eyes showed no positive or negative emotion. Just plain emptiness, interspersed with the flash of a lamp above the three of you.
“What made you kill Sandy Moriarty, née Lonewood?” Asked a young policeman, also a profiler by profession. “She was your sister-in-law after all.” Your eyelid twitched with slight sadness. Sandy was Louis’ partner; they had been together for over two years. You even had the opportunity to meet her – she had foxy hair and calm eyes, and she was a talented painter. “Moriarty answer to me.” The uniformed man’s voice was low and firm. Unlike your expression: soft, full of despair.
“… Well. I had my own reasons, sir.”
“What reasons?”
“It’s all my business, sir.” Your co-worker just sighed, looking at the accused with a disbelieving expression. His nose wrinkled and the whiskers beneath it twitched slightly.
“Y/N, I’ll be right back. I’ll go get some papers and things. Keep an eye on him.” You only nodded at his words, never taking William out of your sight. His long blond hair fell unruly over his forehead and his chest slowly moved back and forth.
As soon as Alois left the small room, devoid of furniture and color, your hands trembled slightly and your eyes turned to the right wall.
“Who are you protecting, William? Tell me.”
“… For your safety, let it go. It’s not a matter of solving the mystery of who stole the little child’s candy and why. Just accept it all that it just had to be like that and let it go.”
“Why?” You repeated in a slightly more confident voice, and your eyes met the ruby ones.
“I told you this is how it ends.” He whispered. “I’m not from your world, Y/N. And I never will be. You wanted to protect me, I appreciate that, but it won’t always go your way. We’re too different.” He added, and after a while the door to the room let in a bit more cold and light. Your work partner stopped next to you again and threw a few photos and descriptions from the scene on the gray table, pursing his lips at the same time.
The photographs showed the silhouette of a woman in a beautiful yellow dress, with a large smear of scarlet blood and several bullets around her.
Whatever your intentions were, you certainly wouldn’t be able to help William anymore, who in your eyes at that moment was just a murderer hiding behind a mask of a calm smile and pale skin. Although your heart was obviously burning like a hot coal, you couldn’t do anything more than look at the photos and move one of them closer to the blonde male.
#—🎉#quote prompts#prompts challenge#4k followers#4k special#prompt 49#moriarty the patriot#moriarty the patriot imagines#moriarty the patriot scenarios#moriarty the patriot x reader#yuukoku no moriarty#yuukoku no moriarty imagines#yuukoku no moriarty scenarios#yuukoku no moriarty x reader#william james moriarty#william james moriarty imagines#william james moriarty scenarios#william james moriarty x reader#william james moriarty x you#william james moriarty x y/n
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Wizardess Heart: Personal thoughts about seasons and routes Part 1
S1 was very basic yet written very well.
Elias: At first I was like, what kind of jerk is this, but he turned out to be rather cute. But story is kinda boring. The first half is all about Elias yelling at MC and MC apologizing for how she messed up. Their relationship kinda lacks something. If it weren't for the mirror they'd never even get along I suppose. Another thing that annoyed me was MC being way too nosy. I mean why the heck would she accept Merculova's request 'for the academy's sake' when she even doesn't know whether she'd be accepted or not? Please MC mind your own business.
Luca: My favorite route in S1. I found him quite attractive, MC and him had fun chemistry, plot was interesting. There're two things that bother me though; first, he used MC, and second, I'm not so sure what was genuine and what was lie... Still, I quite enjoyed him and his story. I wonder why in the world Schuyler would lock the child in the cellar. Ofc the child would be traumatized. Anyway, I know Luca's not the likeable type for all people but still he's one of my favorites.
Yukiya: Overall good route. I was very curious about his 'curse' and this story was really interesting because everything was a mystery. I enjoyed it. Both MC and him were literally the saviors to ach other. I also liked the last part, MC solving the 'contract' issue with another contract. He's like a 'closed' person but his nature is kindest among S1 characters. I dunno about the chemistry though... Still, he makes a great pair with MC. Both gave a positive impact, more like both were saviors to each other. Oh and I won't forget that chubby rabbit either.
S2 was a decent season as well.
Klaus: Nice route, and I found "time travel" very interesting but I still don't like the guy. I just can't stand this Mr. Stickuphisass sadist. Though he's super popular(idk why) I don't see any chemistry between him and MC whatsoever. He has a sharp tongue and kinda looks down on her.
Randy: Think in MC's perspective: wouldn't it be wonderful if your role model truly respects you and loves you just as who you are? This relationship is good for him as well, since she accepts all of him and helps him overcome his trauma. This route had good plot twist, and he was literally an angel. The only one who sincerely respected MC's lousy magic. A real breath of healing air between two jerks in S2. This route was just so heartwarming to read.
Azusa: Should I even talk about this jerk? Fake flirt, deceived, used, and physically+emotionally abused MC. He was even ready to kill her when we chose the wrong answer. But he never properly apologized to her till the very end. He doesn't deserve the happy ending with the MC. ...Yet, I don't think this route itself isn't badly written. Seems like Solmare tried to make some awfully dark story but turned out to be too much.
S3 was, um... so so?
Joel: Kinda close to canon cuz he loved MC for a long time and shares special memories with young MC so... hmmm he and MC was a fine pair, him being honest and caring and all, but I should say that if Eress wasn't there to save the day it would've been rather boring.
Vincent: He's way too old to be with MC, and I don't understand how come he loves the MC and vice versa. All that happened were just him rescuing her all the time and he's awfully cringy somehow. And worst of all, MC was worse than useless. She literally did nothing in this route, even when her boyfriend was on the verge of the death. All she did was crying. And last but not least, the happy ending ends with him saying "it's adult time" or whatever and it bugs me a ton. Hey, what're you exactly gonna do to her. Don't tell me you...
Leon: Is it possible to fall in love in less than 2 weeks when he is in a completely blank state? Leon was literally a blank sheet of paper and his route was all about MC throwing all her business behind to stick around this boy she had just met and teach him very basic stuffs as if she's a kindergarten teacher. There's nothing really interesting about Leon himself either. I mean, his real identity was something that we all could notice before the revelation and that's all. The story and the romance were very bland too. He seemed to love MC because she taught him emotions, and... MC loved him because... because... why did she love him? Maybe because he loved her? Or because he's handsome? Who knows.
S4. When the plot actually started to go downfall.
Cerim: I don't remember anything besides MC shone better than him(she saved him) at this route. Not bad, but that's because nothing was very memorable. No chemistry at all.
Guy: This kind of route seems to be everywhere. Good boy with a huge friend-like vibe. Their chemistry was good, as friends. They are best friends.
S5. Slightly better than S4 but well...
Leslie: Kinda bland route. Leslie nicely supported MC, and she wasn't very pathetic but she was always busy self deprivating which annoyed me a lot. Chica did a good job putting her into senses.
Sigurd: The route with best "newbie" MC. She really shone a lot in this route. I can't think she's the same MC from Vincent or Leon's MC. And this Sigurd... though MC stole the scene most of the time, he wasn't so bad. Though he did deceive MC it wasn't because he wanted to use her or something. He never looked down on her and considering he was her pen pal their bond is quite strong too. Storyline was interesting too, considering nothing really happened in Leslie's route.
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This isn't a prompt or a request, but hear me out Dags. What if you remixed Lamp Bright Rind but made it wrestlefic? Who would you cast, what would you change, what would you keep? Consider it a thought experiment
don't do this to me, don't you dare do this to me. shit. fuck. balls
like. for those not coming from the st fandom, i once enjoyed the show and fandom and wrote a massive harringrove fic where billy was a disgraced chef trying to reinvent himself, and steve was a corporate lawyer trying to get out from under his family's shadow and do as much good as he could. they live across from each other, they can see into each others kitchen windows, steve cant cook and shows up unannounced to get cooking lessons, and it's cute as shit from there. there's misunderstandings, there's mistaken identities, there's healing from trauma and growing up and not realizing that their entire friend group is a circle. im proud of it
now like. fuck. shit. thought experiment my ass. this is gonna consume me. fuck you man
my first instinct, bryan the chef. not disgraced, not exactly, but tired. thinks he has nothing left to make, but is determined to start a new restaurant and do something different. yuta as his neighbor, starving, stressed college student who would eat more vegetables if he knew how to cook them. renee is his restaurant partner, and her husband mox is his best friend who is there to give him shit and pep talks and shitty peptalks. bryan doesn't like jons friend eddie, who tags along when they go out, but eddie sometimes make him get out of his wallowing. and sometimes bryan has to get eddie out of his own wallowing about his on again-off again relationship with claudio, bryans foh manager. bryan already feels weird falling in love with the college student he's teaching how to cook, but then he finds out yuta is like renee and moxs adopted son he'd never met before, because he's always so busy with school
but i have an instinct i like more, actually. remix my remix.
renee the chef. shes always had a great gig on food shows and writing cookbooks, she's beloved. but she's never had her own restaurant before, and she's shit scared about how it's gonna go. her business partner, bryan, knows she's gonna kill it, but also he's an asshole, sometimes, and doesn't know how to give a proper inspirational talk. but he is good at interfacing with their investor while she goes crazy trying to finalize the menu. hell, she doesn't even know who their investor is. they hire yuta in the kitchen, and he's young and adorable and eager and even if he doesn't have the training that they do, she likes him more than anyone else who applied. his mortal enemy, daniel, got hired to the wait staff tho, and no one can tell if they're gonna fuck or fight at any given time. claudio just has good foh manager/host energy, he's personable, what else can i say. eddie is the bartender slash woodworker slash handyman who solves their problem of needing a bartender, needing someone to fix the place they chose, and needing a custom bar installed. also he's funny and he pisses bryan off and makes claudio blush. then there's mox, the burly, rough and tumble famous ufc fighter and window neighbor in the apartment building next to renees. he can't cook for shit, renee has a running tally of the number of times she's seen him throw the windows open to let out smoke. and one night, bored and tired of trying to work on the menu, she takes pity on him and carts a box of ingredients to the building next door, hunts down his apartment and offers to teach him how to cook. then there's the matter of who their investor is, and who the mysterious man all her friends are trying to set her up with is, and the inconvenient fact that she thinks mox is kinda cute and is starting to fall for him
i think that's the one i would write. less trauma this time around, more softness.
also, consider: gruff famous chef ruby, bumbling neighbor ang. up and coming chef hook, weird cabaret neighbor dan(housen). world renowned chef regal quietly trying to start a diner, boring vegan neighbor bryan who only makes salad and it makes regal sad. revolutionary vegan chef sami, and his overworked vet neighbor kevin. chef swerve and poofy haired cowboy hangman next door that he hates, he promises. actually i like that one a lot, too. chef orange, king of simple ingredients and big flavors, and his goofy streamer neighbor chuck. chef willow, trying to make a name for herself, and her weird neighbor kris who thinks she's an alien but we're not quite sure about that or not.
so many combinations... shit. balls. fuck.
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Fairy Kings & Floods: A Study in Drowning by Ava Reid
Cute. Wasn't for me—not entirely.
Meet Effy Sayre: a meek architecture student with an obsessive love for one author. Six months after the author’s death, she wins a competition to redesign his historical home, which is crumbling into the ocean. But there are secrets in this decaying place.
While uncovering them, we also uncover the secrets of Effy’s traumatic past.
Now, let’s go through some of the negatives first.
Effy is the sort of protagonist that is unsure, passive, whose actions tend to be self-destructive. She is seen as nothing more than a “pretty face”—a temptress to every man she meets in the book. Given her past, I understand why she is this way, but that didn’t make me any less irked than I am now. I’m not criticizing other characters written this way, or people who do act like this in real life. I know that—and I absolutely saw myself in her character too (you can’t tell me she wouldn’t be practicing her Starbucks order since she got in line). I just wish that Ava Reid wrote Effy in a way that was less monotonous and one dimensional, especially after going through all that trouble into making her a real person.
Mysteries are supposed to conduct the reader, give them enough information about the problem to catalogue and sort through as they read and trick them into thinking they solved it. That is, until the story drops the final piece and you’re left dumfounded. This book really didn’t have that classic mystery quality to it since I was able to pick just about everything up long before they concluded anything.
This one was such a bother. I noticed the pervasive use of similes only a chapter or two in this book, and once I did, it became so distracting.
And the positives...?
As a teenage girl often too deep in her own fantasies, the romance in this book kept me fed. Especially the end of chapter eleven (p.234) for those of you who have already read it. Had me giggling like a lunatic.
This book deals with the extreme misogyny that is the reality for women in this world, and I can see why reading it can be therapeutic for many of the girls out there. Ava Reid chose an important message to convey through her writing but unfortunately, I just wasn’t feeling it. I could go on about how a good part of the book was a shallow dissection of profoundly serious themes, but I don’t want my negativity to seep through onto what is supposed to be the ‘pro’s’ section of this book review.
Angharad, oh, Angharad. Let’s take a step back into Effy’s character and how she’s obsessed with this dead author—Angharad being the title of the book she holds more love for in her heart than for herself. I totally understand why that is. I loved the little snippets of Angharad we got at the beginning of most chapters and—quite honestly—I wish Ava Reid could publish it for reals. All I got were the tiniest of passages and paragraphs and I’m already infatuated with a book that doesn’t even exist.
One thing you must know about me as a reader, I fall in love with every book I read to some extent. I become a point-blank fanatic if the book is really that amazing, which is why I have to wait for my excitement to die down before I ever give a book a rating. First impression and second impression, as I call it. For my first impression, I gave this book a 4.5 (out of 5 stars), which is quite good. Though after truly giving it some thought, I diminished it down to a 3.25.
I believe it had everything a book should have, but it never quite exceeded the lines of bare minimum. A Study in Drowning was a palate cleanser to me—nothing ground-breaking, but left turning page after page anyway. Maybe I had just been expecting too much from this book, but overall, I found the story bloated with superfluous trends and tropes that detracted from what could’ve made it a very rich, needed story.
If you were planning on reading A Study in Drowning, please don’t let this discourage you in any way. I’m just some kid on the internet with no judging credentials whatsoever, so please don’t get too mad either.
#tbr list#tbr#tbr pile#book tbr#booktok#bookish#authors#currently reading#dark academia#ava reid#fantasy#mystery#romance#slow burn#bookworm#books and reading#book review#books & libraries#quotes#blog#girlhood#girlblogging#chaotic academia#gothic
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So I started something new. And I just have a vague idea where i want to go with this. But not a lot of time to write.
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Trigger warning!
Suicide
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Rise up!
part 1
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With tearful eyes I stare into de depths that lie before me. I lost everything I had in a few days. I never knew it would come to this. If I could have predicted that this would happen, I would have never agreed. But I didn’t know I had to make an impossible choice. For the last time I listen to both voice messages and don’t know which one hurts the most, although it doesn’t matter anymore, the pain will soon be over. I carefully climb over the railing, holding myself tight behind me. The cold metal on my hands feel exactly the same as the cold shiver I felt a few hours ago. Now that there is nothing between me and the depth, I am relieved. Relieved I can let go of this excruciating pain in me. As I let go of the railing to admit to my eternal rest two arms wrap around my chest.
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One month ago
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I lean backwards in my comfortable chair with my eyes closed and enjoy the warmth of the sun. It took me years to lift my business of the ground, and now after saving enough money I finally had my vacation. Being a private investigator takes a toll on you. Always on the hunt for the next clue, each case with its own terrible story. There was no time to breath, no time to relax. So, after I closed my last case, it was time for my vacation. Just a few weeks to fill my energy meter again. I had been holding off new cases and planned an offline time for myself.
“Good afternoon Ms. Schmidt” a male voice greeted me.
Startled I opened my eyes. An older man in a suit was sitting next to me at my table.
“Do I know you?” I sound rude, but he rudely interrupted my peaceful moment with the sun.
“No you don’t. But I do know you. And I would like to offer you a case to investigate” the man sounded excessively determent.
“I am sorry sir, but I don’t take new cases at the moment. I am enjoying my free time” I answer him while leaning back in my chair again and close my eyes.
“I am certain you want to take this case miss.” He keeps on pushing.
“And why are you so certain I want too?” I don’t open my eyes as I humor him with my response.
“Because, the life and freedom of your brother is hangs on it” the tone of his voice wasn’t vicious, but I could hear the small grin he had when he said it.
“Excuse me?” I sit straight up and look the man straight into his eyes.
“Here is the file miss, thank you for accepting” he stands up from his chair and walks away.
He left an file on the table. On the front was only a number 01040. No names, nothing. Not even a logo or anything else I could make up with who I was dealing with. In the file where just a few notes. The first was a memo directed at me.
Dear Ms. Schmidt,
Thank you for accepting this case. It’s a matter of life and death as you can guess. Lucas, your brother, his life, to make things clear. The case itself is about a missing woman named Hannah. It’s up to you if you want to help to find her or not. For us it’s about someone in that is related to this case, we do not know the person’s name or identity. But we do know the person is invested in finding this woman. Your job, will be infiltrating and exposing the whereabouts of this person. We will make sure you come in contact with the people who are looking for the woman, and from there on out, you are on your own.
We expect constant updates on any information you find out about this person we are looking for. He is highly dangerous for our National security. Contacting us will be easy, you don’t have to doubt, we are monitoring you twenty-four-seven. You can send the updates to this number, 65837.
Because of your excellent investigation tactics and reputation for solving mysteries, we chose you to solve this for us. We already have your brother in locked up. The only way to get him out and free, is solving the case for us. If you fail to do so, your brother will be convicted with the crimes this mystery person did and will face the death penalty. Don’t get us wrong, we won’t follow the standard procedures, by bringing him to court.
Thank you for your cooperation.
My hand start to shake a little out of anger and disbelief. I'm being blackmailed with my brother's life, with his freedom, and I don’t even know by who. I haven’t spoken to my brother in over ten years. We didn’t had a fight or anything, it’s just we don’t like each other much. Our parents died when we were young, we lost sight of each other due foster care. Well I think we just never had a chance to grow a strong bond. But that doesn’t mean I don’t care about my brother, of course I do. While reading the letter again, my phone rings.
Thomas: Hello
Thomas: Are you there?
#duskwood#duskwood everbyte#duskwood jake#duskwood game#duskwood mc#duskwood jake x mc#duskwood jake x player#iamjake#duskwood fanfiction#duskwood fandom
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Oh, this rank has... checks script ...the line.
Rank 6, or a crumb of Naoto background is spared.
In my rank 2 post, I mentioned I had some personal beef with the Shirogane estate being in Inaba, and this is one of the moments.
Naoto makes a big deal about finding the card in her mailbox, but the estate was robbed. If the estate was located in Inaba, it wouldn't make much sense for Naoto to be so surprised that the phantom thief who robbed her house knew where she is currently. That's like a negative IQ level move.
Of course, there are moments in the main game script that contradict this, such as Naoto stating she promised her grandfather she'd go home right away when you first see her at Yasogami, and at the culture festival's conclusion where she, rather excitedly, says that if she's staying at the inn, she should call her grandfather and let him know. Both of these could suggest the estate is in Inaba, but since this is about her Social Link, we're not going to debate this.
As she notes, the mysterious man must have a reason for giving Yu the card. The choices are the same again. Picking "Because I look reliable." or "Because I looked useless." prompts Naoto to laugh heartily.
The second one... well.
With that out of the way, we see the next riddle of the phantom thief has to offer, which reads:
When the banks close, the fruit tree grows. By the large seven at the third is the spot I chose.
It sounds like complete gibberish, but luckily, the game doesn't require Yu to actually solve it because that's Naoto's problem. Regardless of what you pick, Naoto finds the answer; however, the third option ("The numbers are important.") is the best one.
As Naoto so eloquently says:
When you find the item, the watch, Naoto has a whole speech ready.
The item in the previous rank, the detective badge, didn't do anything besides show the great dedication and desire Naoto had to step into a detective's shoes. This watch feels more like spy gear than it does detective, but Naoto is a private investigator, her dungeon looks like a secret agent base and.... she probably watched too much Conan as a kid. Regardless of what influenced her to make this, Naoto is pretty talented at fiddling around with machines and creating her own things.
Her liking robots and having a secret base in the trees had influences on her dungeon, with berserk form of Shadow Naoto being a robot and well, the Secret Base.
Besides the fascinating character dump, we get Naoto wishing she were a guy. And this is one of the lines that gets people to throw a fit and you know what I'm talking about.
I'm not going to talk about that. I'm going to analyze this while keeping in mind what Atlus intended for her character.
Naoto says this after Yu and friends beat her Shadow: "What I should yearn for...No, what I must strive for isn't to become a man. It's to accept myself for who I really am..."
From this admission, Naoto knew she never wanted to be a man. However, a lack of women in the detective world and strict gender roles, just to name two, made it hard for her to stand up and ignore what society sad. When you look at Naoto disguising herself as a man, she is conforming to what society expects.
Not everyone plays the silly PQ game, but in one of the strolls, Naoto has this to say:
Although she knew that trying to fit into expectations was silly, she ended up forcing herself into a box.
But what about Naoto's mom? She was a cool detective lady, right? Doesn't she count as a role model?
Yes, obviously, but she's also fucking dead and while you can find inspiration from someone's memory, nothing's better than being able to talk to your role model and lean on them for support. If Naoto wanted advice from her mom, she can't ask that because she's fucking dead. That, and we aren't given any info on Naoto's parents. Was Naoto's mom respected on her own, or was she just seen as an accessory to Naoto's dad? Naoto can look up to her grandfather as a role model (and it's obvious she does), but he can't exactly give her the same kind of advice her mom could have.
I know I must have linked this video a bajillion times by now, but I still think it's relevant, even though it was made in 2018. Since I don't live in Japan, things may have improved since this video was made, but if the game originally came out in 2008 and the year this was set in was 2011, I think the video is telling that the problems happening in 2008 were happening in 2018. Watching this is great, but ain't nobody got time for that. So I'll just say that imagine achieving so much, only to have people downplay it just because you're a woman. While Naoto's arc focused more on sexism in the workplace, it's sort of hard to just focus on that, when it's..... everywhere.
When Naoto wishes she were born a man, she doesn't really wish to be a man. Like she says in literally the next line, being a guy would allow her to pursue what she wanted (a detective) without hearing any remarks or critiques or but find a job more suited for women. It doesn't indicate that she genuinely wanted to be a guy.
Unfortunately for me, I'm not done with the worm can because there's one more thing to talk about, and that's the romance flag.
You see, Naoto is special and you need a certain phrase to trigger her romance route. Failing to select this option means you don't get to romance her, even if you do the second romance flag.
Right after Naoto says that, Yu has three choices. Can you guess which one triggers a romance flag?
If you said the second one, you're fucking WRONG BABY IT'S THE FIRST ONE!
Atlus has a track record of high highs and low lows, this line is probably garbage and doesn't make sense. However, perhaps, maybe???, somehow????, there was a reason for "I'm glad you're a girl." to be the romance flag.
It could just be typical Atlus putting that option there to waifu-ify Naoto. However, for this next bit of analysis, I am being generous and assuming that Atlus had a reason that WASN'T waifu-ifying Naoto just because.
When you pick 2 or 3, Naoto reacts accordingly:
The third option has an 'it is what it is' vibe, and it doesn't do shit to make her feel better.
However, even if you choose the second one, Naoto still smiles sadly, much like the third option. Perhaps Naoto is sad because of society had the attitude Yu displayed in that option, she wouldn't be so miserable and is reflecting on a more optimistic world.
However, this line doesn't really solve her problem. She's known for a while that her gender doesn't matter when it comes to anything. It's just what society has a problem with it.
However, it's not what she wants to hear.
She knows Yu thinks it's silly, but to her, this is easy for him to say. He hasn't been in her shoes, doesn't know her struggles and hasn't experienced any hardships because of his gender. He can say that gender doesn't matter, but if he wanted to be a detective, nobody would complain because he's a man.
It's not as if nobody understands her and the effect gender roles have, it's just that in this particular context, this isn’t what she wanted to hear.
In the first one, it's uh.....
Yeah, there's nothing deep in here.
But if I'm being very, very generous, this is a clunky way of saying "I'm glad you're you". What makes Naoto who she is... is herself and nothing can change that. With this, Yu is able to say that there is good in being who she is, even though she can't see it yet. More importantly, he appreciates her as she is. And seeing someone other than her grandfather or Yakushiji, even her dead parents, say that to her, makes something in her mind click, that she's worth something, even though she doesn't correctly hit all the "acceptable" boxes society has laid out
okay fuck I can't anymore but tl;dr it might have be an awkward "i'm glad you're you" thing.
Anyway, Naoto realizes she was being an embarrassment again and changes the subject to asking about Yu. IIRC, she's the only IT social link who asks about Yu.
Considering how it's very obvious she had no friends growing up, this can be seen as an effort on her part to reach out and form bonds. It's difficult with the rest of the team, but with Yu, something just clicks.
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Flavor of Love matchup: Twisted Wonderland & Ikemen Vampire
This one is for @sleepy-kat14 I hope you enjoy this! I also kept it to just romantic as you requested.
Congratulations, your lover is Arthur Conan Doyle!
Personality wise, I think you’re actually similar to Charles from Ikemen vampire, instead of Kalim from twisted wonderland. That’s just my opinion though. However, it’s very important to take note of that while we go through the matchup.
From the very beginning it’s made clear that you’re someone who needs confirmation that you’re enough for someone. This is similar to Charles as he is constantly searching for love and the need to be wanted by someone. Hearing this, I initially was going to pick someone who had a very well-grounded idea on love. From those options I chose to go with Arthur as he’s refreshing, sweet, and bitter at times.
With Arthur he is someone who is going to be giving you the affirmation that you need, but you must also give that to him. See, he’s someone who also needs affirmation at times and it’s important that you tell him how you feel as well. Since you also mentioned you crumbling over, I’m pretty confident that Arthur will stop you once he sees this. The same can be said if you were put into a situation that you weren’t all too happy about. This is because Arthur is very observant and remembers key details about those around him.
Falling in love with Arthur might be more troublesome than you expected. Arthur’s story is fluff then the next it turns dark. When it switches back and forth it creates that bittersweet taste, so it’s crucial to stay clear when the buds of romance start. Despite being Arthur’s lover, you’ll also gain close friends such as Vincent, Theo, and the MC. Those three will be positive marks on your personal growth as you’ll learn values from them. For instance, Vincent, who is nice to everyone, knows the importance of saying no and standing up for himself. I’m confident that with Vincent near you he’ll rub that part off onto you.
Doing challenging puzzles and solving mysteries is another aspect to look forward to when you’re with Arthur. I find that if you read his stories a lot of them follow mysteries or other mind games within them. Overall, you’ll never have a dull moment with Arthur by your side and he’s someone who will create a positive impact on you.
Congratulations, your lover from twisted wonderland is Riddle Rosehearts!
Member of team strawberry Riddle is sweet and tart, but not bitter. I made the choice to swap the bitter flavor to something more tart and sweet. Which is typically a better match than if you were to be paired with someone who is bittersweet like someone from team coffee. Similar to Arthur, Riddle is someone who isn’t shy when it comes to expressing his feelings, so there will be constant confirmation of love. However, since Riddle is a member of team strawberry his tart side is bound to come out at times. From time to time, you and Riddle might be head-to-head in academics, especially if you’re good at them.
As a dorm head, Riddle is quite observant to those around him, he pays excellent attention to what’s happening at all times. Take it as it is to be expected that he will know before you’re going to crumble under any pressure. Although, Riddle might be a bit harsh with the warning if the situation is dangerous for you.
Now, Riddle is a member of team strawberry, which is a team that puts a lot of value in one’s individualism. This means that Riddle will want his own space, so don’t expect him to be too possessive. Rather, RIddle is the kind of lover who will put trust in his partner knowing where they stand. That being said, if you find yourself ever unsure of the relationship, you must talk it out to make things clear between the two of you. Now, I’m not saying Riddle wouldn’t notice this about you, but he’ll want you to come to him first.
You’re outgoing, making a great pair for Riddle as if you’re going to be with him, you’ll need to get along with the entire dorm. Whether you’re going for a walk or eating at a nice cafe you’re going to be seeing students from Heartslabyul often when you’re with Riddle. Being with a busy dorm leader means getting to help out around the dorm too.
At the end of the day, know that what you do for Riddle is enough. I honestly believe Riddle would be happy you’re together. I say this because members of team strawberry can get anything they want on their own, but relationships. Whenever it comes time to romance, they usually end up with bad luck. Once they get into a romantic relationship, know you’re with them for life. In the end, as long as you stay beside their side, they’ll be proud and support you in anything you do.
#twst#twisted wonderland#ikemen vampire#my two favorites#ikemen series#ikemen games#ikemen#heartslabyul#matchup#flavor of love#team strawberry#team matcha#chocolate#fluff#romance
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there and back again: a retrospective
hello hello! i’d like to pull back the curtain a bit on my thoughts on writing, specifically there and back again, now that it's been over half a year (i finished the edits on the final chapter in april 2023 and am writing this in december). I’ve always loved reading similar posts by other writers, so maybe this will be helpful or at least interesting for somebody out there.
on failures
i will preface this by saying everything i say is totally subjective and just the experiences of a Random Guy on the Internet who gets too invested in the lives of imaginary people :) I'd like to talk about writing longfics and failures—the fics and stories that don’t work out that ao3 never sees. (i have learned the hard way that i will not finish things if i put them up incomplete! a fun quirk of my brain.)
i usually don’t talk about fics that i’ve failed to finish, but there is one i want to talk about. it was a itafushi and stsg fic, a no curses AU and period piece that took place in 2012 about a traveling circus cult in the 80s/90s and maybe-it’s-magic-or-maybe-you’re-just-seeing-things and why you should tell your family if you were a child assassin raised in a immortality cult instead of hiding it for decades until all of you pay the price. i wrote a 30k rough draft of in fall 2021-early 2022. i also sunk in many hours doing a lot of research for reasons that will be obvious when you see the summary i had written of the fic:
Summary: A year after the 2011 Tohoku earthquake and tsunami, with thousands still unaccounted for, graduate student Itadori Yuuji falls in love with a boy. Together, they uncover the fates of a few of the missing.
Over twenty years earlier, teen genius Gojo Satoru catches a runaway teen pickpocket in the act of stealing his wallet. Together, they make promises neither of them can quite keep.
looking back, one obvious issue with my wip is that i chose the wrong pov—i started out with itadori even though the most interesting story in the fic wasn't his but was gojo and geto’s. another issue was the pacing was all off because itadori was busy trying to solve this mystery with megumi, who had his own agenda. there is a chance i might actually go back to this fic and write something set in this world at some point, so I'd like to keep the rest of it under wraps.
i still think about the world and geto and riko’s story in this failed fic sometimes. i did end up end up using a couple of the fairytales in the fic for there and back again, and the passage about the rain leaking into the house in chapter 1 in geto’s pov was stolen from this wip (the excerpt was originally written in gojo pov actually!). the process of writing that much and having it just Not Work was extremely educational, even though i am still sad because it was a cool idea that i didn’t have the chops to pull off. The biggest takeaway for me: i can’t write something that long on vibes and a cool world alone. I need some kind of scaffolding or structure to force me along.
Without learning these lessons, i don’t think i could have written there and back again, where i set the stakes very clearly at the outset of Writing The Darn Thing, and i’m grateful that it came together so easily.
on writing about what you love
when i started writing there and back again, i wanted to write something that could bring me, the writer, joy. i don’t like to talk about my personal life on public socials very much, but safe to say i was not having a good time in my life in fall 2022. so my attitude was: fuck other people, fuck the fandom, i was going to write something set in such a specific time and place in a way that is incredibly unpopular in fandom (there are conventions of fanfic that don’t exist in other genres of fiction, and Very Specific Setting is usually not seen in fic). I knew it’d alienate most people who weren't me. I love big, decades-long family sagas set against the backdrop of history. So i turned to the podcasts i’ve been listening to for many years by musicians about pop music, a couple books that made me scream and laugh and cry in 2022, and the music that brought me joy during the last few years.
around this time i was thinking about writing a new celebrity AU stsg fic, i went out of town on a work business trip for a week. i was jetlagged and busy for most of it, but the highlight was when i went to a speakeasy-style jazz bar the final evening i was there. I had a wonderful time and ended up making friends with a couple other people in line and being seated next to a woman who turned out to be the wife of one of the musicians, and we struck up a conversation. music has the power to bring people together, and i had a feeling the jazz bar would work its way into my story in some way, shape, or form, and it did!
i got lucky in that things ended up working out for me in my life, but i think there and back again still ended up being a reflection of that period of a strange few months last fall and winter, when i needed something with a lot of joy and hope. This fic has gotten a lot more love than i ever expected it to get, so to anyone reading this who’s a writer or thinking about writing something: write about the weird things that make you tick. write about what you love. you literally lose nothing.
and also, if you’re reading this and you’ve never written a story/fic/novel/screenplay/play/any form of creative writing but want to and are intimidated or just plain scared of your work sucking, you should go for it! consider this a sign from the universe. The world needs your stories, and if even if the world doesn’t, sometimes you need your own stories. About the afraid of your work sucking thing, it is 1) much easier to rewrite something after it already exists, 2) 'good' and 'bad' are deeply subjective (see: Craft in the Real World by Matthew Salesses for more about this topic), and 3) sometimes a story just needs to exist for the storyteller and doesn't need to be Good, whatever that means to begin with.
If you’ve read this far, thanks for entertaining my ramblings!! my askbox is always open, too, if this post raises questions or thoughts.
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Review of The Untamed
This is one of the only tv shows i have ever marathoned and then immediately watched all over again. I started watching this show on Netflix knowing absolutely nothing about it; i didn't even know it was a gay love story... likewut. I had previously over saturated myself with American sitcoms and so looked for something completely different. Little did I realise I would smack myself in the face with my own love for the characters, themes, costumes, and downright beauty of the thing. I was immediately hooked in when in the first scene the lead character is murdered by his brother, cos I am a real sucker for stories that start out with, "Once upon a time, I DIED!!!" That to me is pure chef's kiss.
If you haven't watched it yet, let me forewarn you: the first two episodes are a clusterfuck of situations and lines and characters you don't give a shit about and have no context for. But push past these into episode 3 and beyond, and trust me, you will.
So here is my review of The Untamed. I'll try to be as spoiler-less as possible.
General premise
Five major clans control majority wealth, power and magic. Teenager Wei Wuxian is from one of these clans, and attends Ancient Chinese Hogwarts with BFFs/siblings Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng. But it's not all fun and hormones; soon after the semester ends they are thrown into war. Despite knowing magic and sword art, they are woefully under-prepared for the carnage and political shitshow that follows. Alliances fray, hearts are broken... and Wei Wuxian dies.
Sixteen years later he is resurrected by a necromancer who wants revenge on his shitty family. Wuxian's crush from magical high school, Lan Wangji, is now a 30-something hottie and a top-tier wizard, and is investigating a sword spirit that's gone apeshit. Since the revenge plot and the sword spirit issue are related, they team up buddy-cop style to solve the mystery.
The Pros
Costume and set design
It's beautiful. Someone in the costume department was having a ball with this one bc every outfit is gorgeous and unique. The long shots of the ancient Chinese sets are eye candy too. I found myself drinking in every little detail of their clothes and swords.
Themes and metaphors
I've seen a couple of Australian movies that talk about asylum-seekers, but I've never watched a show that has brought in the subject quite like this one. No doubt the episodes dedicated to our untamed hero Wei Wuxian saving war prisoners are a metaphor for China's incarceration of its minorities, but for me I was seething, constantly remembering that cunts like John Howard chose to use their power to treat people fleeing oppression like they were nothing but inconvenient garbage. Why governments choose to infeasibly sweep refugees under the rug rather than help them I still don't understand. In The Untamed, it's highlighted that the reasons are all about power - who has power must do all they can to keep it, even if it means torturing people they have never met, and slandering those who don't fall in line.
Cancel culture and mob mentality is a constant theme in the show, shown throughout several episodes from start to finish. Although set thousands of years before the invention of the internet, The Untamed highlights one important truth: internet trolls have always existed in some form or other and they will never change. They don't attack the reputation of others because they honestly believe that person deserves it - they do it because it fucking makes them feel good. If you can't take their shit any more and you kill yourself, it only solidifies in their mind that they were right all along. It's uncomfortable, and is almost impossible to endure. Like Lan Wangji, I wanted to take sweet Wei Wuxian into my arms and whisk him away.
The love story
Hooo boy, da love story. I ofc realise this is the main reason fans love this show. Between them, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji portray all the emotions that have ever existed, and then some. I found myself melting at Wuxian's every smile, looking closely at Wangji's infinitesimal widening of his eyes or curl of his lips. Wuxian is a guy who talks a lot with his mouth and his body but never says the right things, and Wangji is a bloke who says very little but his thoughts are written all over his supremely gorgeous face. And when they're together... woof. Gurrl. Idek. The chemistry is just... something. There is some over-acting on Wuxian's actor's part in some scenes Wangji's actor isn't in, but when these two are in a scene together, they're kind of amazing. The actors put full effort in, and it shows.
The Cons
CGI and make-up
Although the same genre, don't expect the production value of Game of Thrones, or The Witcher. This one runs more along the CGI lines of Merlin and Doctor Who. If you can use some imagination and stomach those two shows, then you can watch this. Similarly, the zombies are not scary, like, at all. But maybe that is less to do with make-up and more to do with wangxian being so overpowered that if this was a jrpg video game, wangxian would be lv 99 by age 17.
Plot holes and side characters
This show is well written and paced. However, there's one episode in the second half that you could quite frankly chuck in the bin and nothing of value would be lost. The side story involves a third-rate villain and three side characters who the villain emotionally and physically tortures for shits and giggles. If you liked these characters, that's great, but the whole thing to me stank of torture porn and added nothing to the main plot or central characters or relationships. The Untamed is not the only show to suffer this; Altered Carbon comes to mind. There was literally a whole ep in that show dedicated to torturing the lead and I'm still flummoxed as to why some stories choose to do this when literally there is no point?? I get that this villain is central to The Untamed plot and that he is a dark reflection of Wuxian's future if he didn't have Wangji as an anchor, but those things could've been shown in other ways without dragging three characters idgaf abt into some flashback that bored me to tears.
Summary and general thoughts
Omg, dis my fandom now. I'm already reading fics and God, look, writing fucking essays. I'm so naughty - I got my bff into it just so I could have someone to talk to. Luckily, her 1st language is Mandarin, and after watching the show, she read the web novel in 4 days, then translated the porn for me. Of what she tells me though - unpopular opinion - I think I prefer this drama. I prefer the idea that Wuxian fell for Wangji love at first sight, and also, I'm not a huge fan of sex while drunk - it's actually kinda triggering for me. That's just personal things tho. Wangxian have some beautiful moments that I like to rewatch and keep cupped in my hands.
6/5 stars.
#the untamed#wangxian#wei wuxian#lan wangji#lan zhan#wei ying#jiang yanli#jiang chen#mdzs#mo dao su zhi#wang yibo#sean zhan#the untamed review#i made a thing#stuff#my review#netflix#text
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Pride and Prejudice and Pittsburgh Review
Pride and Prejudice and Pittsburgh by Rachel Lippincott
CW: Swearing, Underage Drinking, Poorly Arranged Marriage, Misogyny, Past Toxic Relationship, Minor Injuries with Blood, Internalized Homophobia, Queerphobia, Classism, Abusive Parent, Past Death of Parent
3.5/5
I automatically chose to read Pride and Prejudice and Pittsburgh because Rachel Lippincott had once again targeted the niche audience I am a part of; queer Pittsburghers whose favorite genre is queer YA romcoms. After She Gets The Girl, a book which Lippincott wrote with her wife, Alyson Derrick, I assumed this book would also be a love letter to Pittsburgh. Although it missed that mark, which I will elaborate on later, it was a very intriguing book with a sweet romance and loveable characters.
Pride and Prejudice and Pittsburgh starts with Audrey, a seventeen-year-old girl from 2023 Pittsburgh who gets transported back to North England in 1812. She lands in the field of an estate belonging to an absent father and a girl of high society named Lucy. Audrey realizes she only has 25 days to spend in the past, but not why she's there. She works with Lucy to blend into the 1800s and to solve her mystery. They have narrowed it down to two things that may be connected: finding love or regaining her passion for art, so they try both out. Only, Audrey isn't finding a spark with any of the handsome men around her and she can't stop drawing Lucy. Meanwhile, Lucy is trying to come to terms with her marriage arrangement to an awful older man. Will the two girls truly be able to help each other?
I normally avoid period pieces because the language it's confusing and goes over my head, but Pride and Prejudice and Pittsburgh is far more approachable. The language isn't too heavy and many things are explained on-page to Audrey. Having both Audrey and Lucy's POV helped with getting the full picture. Audrey knew things I did and served as fresh eyes to the 1800s. Lucy was in awe of the world Audrey came from. And well-versed in her own. The tropes used also helped with approachability, adding a familiar element. A training montage, an animal with an attitude, and kissing in the rain, all help this period piece feel like the modern literature it is.
Lippincott created a really enjoyable and well-developed cast of characters for her book. Audrey is thrown into Lucy's world by a curmudgeonly but secretly sweet old man with a backstory you'll want to stick around till the end for. Lucy's world holds 3 potential suitors for Audrey that would all be wonderful picks in their own right. They all have hidden depths beyond their attractive looks. Even the awful man that Lucy is set to marry is full of personality. The best of the characters in Lucy's life is likely Martha, the staff member of the estate who practically raised Lucy after her mother died. These characters and more all added something important to Pride and Prejudice and Pittsburgh.
The title of this book, Pride and Prejudice and Pittsburgh, is false advertisement. That isn't a reason not to read the book. It is still a cute queer time travel romance, but it's important to know what you aren't getting into. Although I have never read Pride and Prejudice, I have it on good authority that this isn't a modern-ish adaptation of it. The only connection is that it takes place in the regency era. It also barely features Pittsburgh. It's there when Audrey is in her own time and she thinks about it a little bit, but that's all. Audrey has a line in her head where she mentions the "polar vortex that hit Pittsburgh a few years ago", taking me completely out of the book. It reminded me that Lippincott isn't from Pittsburgh and is older than her characters. Audrey would have been 4 years old at the time and a real Pittsburgher always calls it Snowmageddon. I had assumed that the 1800s portion would take place in 1800s Pittsburgh. I am still left wanting a book with this premise.
The queer rep in this book was both romantic and realistic. I appreciate that it addresses how it may be far more unsafe to be openly queer in 1812, but it can still be a problem in 2023. I related to neither girl knowing her queer identity at the start of the book, despite the obvious signs. They're both only about 17, which is around the time I started being honest with myself about not being straight. It takes time for some people. Thankfully, this couple had some people on their side in 1812. Queer people were not unheard of then, despite the secrecy.
If a WLW regency romance with time travel appeals to you, give Pride and Prejudice and Pittsburgh a try! Rachel Lippincott understands how to write two clueless characters falling for each other, and that alone would make this book worth reading. If you happen to know of any other Pittsburgh romance books, send them my way!
#pride and prejudice and pittsburgh#rachel lippincott#book blog#bookblogger#queer books#queer characters#wlw#romcom book#time travel romance#time travel book#1812 england#pittsburgh books#period romcom#Snowmageddon#regency romance
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A Part of Your World
Chapter 2: Forget the Fairy Tales
Read the previous chapters and give the story kudos on AO3!
The last thing you would call Cordelia Easton is oblivious. Now entering her early 30’s, there has not been a single day where Cordelia wasn't actively thinking about protecting the environment. Her parents were oceanographers who met while studying abroad in Barbados. They incorporated that passion for ocean life into Cordelia and her little sister Aurora from birth. When the girls were little, the Easton family started their mornings by greeting the sunrise at the beach. They’d even occasionally see some baby turtles crawling their way to the shore to start their lives in the mysterious waves of the ocean. Of course, Cordelia had made several scuba diving trips throughout her life, but she felt frustrated that she couldn’t see more of this beautiful other world. Despite that, she wanted to protect its hidden beauty until her dying breath. It was a promise she made to both of her parents, and she kept it by starting Sea Savers, a nonprofit that works to protect the ocean.
Despite her beautifully plush body and dark blond hair that fell a little past her shoulder with streaks of golden blonde, she quietly resented her looks because it always seemed to attract the wrong kind of guys. Since her focus was always on her organization, she didn’t exactly have the greatest track record. Most of the guys she dated or chose to let them have their way with her rarely didn’t care about her personal passions. Since Cordelia often workedsite on sight at the shores of Fort Washington Park, she always wore baggier, comfy clothes. Especially in the springtimeetting, Cordelia never left her house without a warm beanie and sweater. Whether she liked to admit it to herself or not, the other reason whe dressed this way is also to avoid unwanted attention from creeps on the street. After being burned one too many times, Cordelia chose to keep her distance from any fires.
Cordelia had bigger problems ahead of her now that she was facing Rubin Worthington, the head of Worthington's Waste Disposal Company.
“I don’t understand why you feel like you HAVE to dump all this crap in the ocean?” Cordelia asked Rubin over the phone, “You and I both know that this is not going to solve the problem at all.”
“Sweetheart…” Ruben tried to reply flirtingly, a trick he often tried to use when he didn’t get his way, only to be cut off by Cordelia saying, “Uh— You will ABSOLUTELY NOT call me that.”
“Ms. Easton,” Ruben groaned reluctantly, “My company gets rid of garbage from all five boroughs. We gather a lot of waste and our landfills simply can’t hold anymore.”
“A good portion of that waste could be recycled or repurposed,” Cordelia replied, “You could hire thousands of new people to go through that garbage and sort it. It would not only help your company but also help the city in so many different ways.”
“And send more of MY money down the drain?” Ruben scoffed, “Please…”
Cordelia could practically hear Ruben roll his eyes from behind the phone. As she sat in her office space that she shared with her sister Aurora, Cordelia thought about how she fought hard against many landfill companies in the past. However, none were as uncooperative as Mr. Worthington was. After a solid three months going back-and-forth with Mr. Worthington, pleading with him to find a new solution rid of his waste, Cordelia realized that missed approach was going nowhere.
“Mr. Worthington, you leave me no choice,” she sternly said, “I’m going to file a complaint against you.”
“Darling, please…” Ruben pleaded, “Don’t tell me that you’re actually thinking of suing ME?”
“I am suing you for Marine Pollution…” Cordelia replied coldly, “And if you refer to me as anything BUT Ms. Easton, I’ll sue you for sexual harassment too.”
“I’m sure that if we talk face-to-face, you’ll see my perspective more clearly.”
“Mr. Worthington,” Cordelia sighed, “We have been talking about this for over three months and you still don't seem to get that your actions are hurting millions of creatures who live below and above the ocean. It’s like I’ve been talking to a wall.”
“Look, I’ve seen that video where they had to pull a straw out of that giant sea turtle’s nose. Everyone has. But we can’t just stop and change everything overnight just because one or two animals got hurt. They were going to get hurt in the wild anyway, so why should I bother?”
Those words felt like a knife in the chest to Cordelia.
“Mr. Worthington, that’s just terrible of you to say,” Cordelia said, unintentionally leaving her heart out on her sleeve.
“I’m just being honest with you,” Ruben replied blankly. He heard the sadness in Cordelia’s voice and decided this was a good time to try asking her out again.
“Aw, I hope I haven’t disappointed you too much,” he cooed as sweetly as he could, but it sounded like nails on a chalkboard to Cordelia. “Let’s meet up for dinner and talk it out first, okay? My treat.”
It was a long pause before Cordelia made her response. She took a minute to swallow some tears, something she had been quite an expert at over the years.
Cordelia then quietly cleared her throat and sternly said, “…I’ll see you in front of the New York City Council, Mr. Worthington.”
“…. So, it’s a date then?” Ruben asked, continuing to shoot his shot before being quickly hung up on by Cordelia.
“Bastard…” Cordelia grumbled under her breath.
Aurora knocked on her office door and quietly entered the room. She was a few years younger than her more serious sister but she was slightly taller than her and almost painfully naïve. Aurora couldn’t help herself truthfully. She was a free spirit but just as passionate about preserving the environment as much as Cordelia was.
Aurora entered Cordelia‘s office wearing a sweater dress with stockings stuffed in her boots, and her long, dark brown hair in a cute half ponytail. After hearing Cordelia’s argument with Ruben from behind the door, she smiled awkwardly.
“Hey, Didi,” she greeted quietly, “How did it go?”
“Not great,” Cordelia sighed, taking her round glasses off to rub the stress from her face, “Mr. Worthington‘s not budging so I’m going to complain about him to the New York City Council.”
“Oooh! Are we going on strike?!” Aurora asked, excitedly bouncing on her feet, “We’ve never been on strike before! Mom and dad used to do it all the time when they were our age.“
Cordelia smirked and rolled her eyes before putting her glasses back on. Even though Aurora’s constant overwhelming enthusiasm got on her nerves sometimes, Cordelia did appreciate that her little sister was always by her side.
“Sort of,” She replied, “We first need evidence by the next council hearing to make any statements against Mr. Worthington’s company… but we do need lots of support from other people for a better chance at finally kicking him off the beaches.”
“Why don’t we call Sabrina?” Aurora replied, “If she’s free, we can meet her up for lunch and talk about what to do.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Cordelia smiled, “I’ll call her now.
“Plus, I’m STARVING,” Aurora continued to ramble, as she often did, “and I heard Starbucks still has those yummy warm egg sandwiches! You know who I saw last week at Starbucks? Oh, gosh, what’s that guy's name? You used to have a crush on him… That Doc Ock guy, right? I recognized his face but I think he’s doing a play where he had to shave his head. I almost didn’t recognize him! He looked busy reading a book but I still ran up to him and told him ‘Hey! My sister absolutely LOVES you!’…”
Cordelia blushed red at the mention of Doc Ock and how her sister embarrassed her in front of Alfred Molina… without her being there at all!
She quickly escorted her sister out of the room, “Ooookay… Heh-heh… Let me call Sabrina now.”
“But then he just kinda looked a little scared when I came up to him so I just walked away but like he was a giant, so why would he be so scared of a little thing like me…?!”
Cordelia quickly shut the door behind her and side again, feeling second hand embarrassment from her sister. When she collected herself, she finally picked up the phone to call Sea Saver’s environmental lawyer and personal representative, Sabrina O’Reily.
Sabrina knew Cordelia and Aurora’s parents since she was a teenager. The ginger headed lawyer approaching her early 40s was once a fierce environmental activist, like Cordelia. She met the Easton’s in the 90’s during a rally against adding additional power plants near a wildlife sanctuary in Connecticut and she took under their wing as their unofficial first daughter. Sabrina loved Cordelia and Aurora like a big sister and helped them build Sea Savers from the ground up while she was finishing law school. Being more of a good balance of both Cordelia and Aurora’s personalities, Sabrina was very serious about her job but knew when to loosen up and have fun every once in a while.
After Cordelia explained the situation to Sabrina, the three women met up during Sabrina’s lunch break at Starbucks to discuss the plan of action.
“Wow, this guy seems like a total asshole,” Sabrina scoffed, “Mr. Worthington does have one of the biggest waste disposal companies in the city. Winning against him would be a massive victory, not just for Sea Savers, but for many other organizations like it. People will start taking us more seriously, for once...”
“Heck yeah!” Aurora cheered, “So, how do we get more support like Didi said?”
“Well, I know a guy who produces commercials. If we find evidence that Worthington’s Waste is still dumping garbage straight into the ocean, then we can film a commercial on the site and air it for the entire tri-state area to see! Hopefully it can rally up support from other groups.”
“That’s genius!” Cordelia laughed, excited to see the look on Ruben’s face when this commercial came out, “I’ll do a little investigating at the beaches later today when no one’s around.”
“Alright, I gotta go back to my office,” Sabrina nodded and stood up from her stool, “If you see anything, take lots of pictures and send them straight to me.”
Cordelia and Aurora said their goodbyes to Sabrina and stayed at the restaurant for a little while longer.
“God, I haven’t been this jazzed about something since I dumped Brett,” Cordelia said to herself as she took a sip of her coffee. She didn’t think Aurora heard her but she did.
“How have you been since then?” Aurora asked innocently.
“Huh? Oh, it’s been great,” Cordelia chuckled, “I should’ve left him a long time ago.”
“I didn’t mean to be nosy, but it happened so sudden,” Aurora replied, “You’re my sister. You can always talk to me.”
“Yeah I know,” Cordelia sighed, “but we’ve been having problems for a while and I didn’t feel comfortable sharing it with anyone. I'm sorry I left you in the dark for a long time.”
“So, what happened?” Aurora asked, placing a kind hand on her sister's shoulder.
“Well, Brett wasn’t exactly the ‘prince’ I originally thought he was,” Cordelia replied, “I’ve always been such a nerd and I thought he was cool because he produced music… but at the end of the day, he really didn’t have much direction with his music. I ended up having to take care of him more often than he took care of me. There just wasn’t any balance between us. As much as I love what I do, I tried to change so much about me when I was with Brett. For a while, I felt like I was living two separate lives… And then whenever I tried to show him my interests, Brett would barely pay attention or even try to care. He made me feel like he kept me around for sex alone and it made me feel sick. I put up with this fake persona for three years and I just couldn’t take it anymore.”
“Wow… I’m really proud of you for walking away, Didi,” Aurora smiled, “So now when you’re with the next guy, you’re gonna make sure he loves you for who YOU are!”
“God, I don’t even want to THINK about the next guy,” Cordelia groaned, “Listen, Aurora, I know you’re just trying to be hopeful for my sake but there comes a time in everybody’s life when they realize that this fairytale bullshit kind of love just doesn’t exist. It’s not like the movies where you turn the corner and magically the man of your dreams is going to swoop you up and carry you off into this beautiful life full of open communication and meaningful sex. It just doesn’t work like that in the real world.”
“Oh...” Aurora said, lowering her head in disappointment.
“Hey, look, I’m sorry,” Cordelia reached out to hug her sister, “I didn’t mean to make you upset. I’ve just been through a lot of crap and I don’t want to see you get hurt like I’ve been. You always look out for me and that’s what makes you the best sister I could ever ask for. I want to do the same for you.”
“I understand,” Aurora said, hugging Cordelia back, “You deserve the best kind of love there is, Didi. Never forget that.”
“You too,” Cordelia smiled, still not wanting to think about love but wanted to comfort Aurora. She figured that even if she was a loser at love, at least she could be happy watching her baby sister live the life she secretly wanted for herself.
After lunch, Cordelia went off to the Fort Washington beaches to pick up some garbage left on the shores and to see if Ruben’s trucks were still around. As she was walking around, Cordelia‘s mind was in a dark place. Memories of her ex making her feel insignificant through his negligence. She started collecting hits of garbage in a giant plastic bag, throwing them in the bag as a way to get some of her anger out. Not only was she mad at Brian for making her feel this way, she was also mad at herself for letting him abuse her for so long. She thought she was smarter than that but she wanted love so badly back then, she’d give up her own sanity.
As Cordelia was approaching the further side of the beach, she smelled smoke from a distance, making her cough in disgust. She quickly pulled out her phone and began to follow the scent. Cordelia noticed two large trucks in the distance making lots of clanking noises and as she got close to it, she saw “Worthington’s Waste Removal” on the side of them. Cordelia was shocked but not too shocked. She turned on her camera and videotaped the two trucks dumping piles and piles of garbage directly into the ocean before driving away.
Soon, the sound of the waves comforted Cordelia like they always did throughout her whole life. Oh whenever she felt frustrated or upset, she would always come down to the shore and let its beautiful sounds guide her through meditation. Her dad taught her how to listen to the ocean because it often held so many answers if she slowed down from the hustle and bustle of everyday life to listen to it. As soon as she moved to the city and discovered this beach, Cordelia continued her family tradition of starting every morning on the shore. It was the Easton way to not only greet the morning sun but also use it as an opportunity to connect to the world that we are all so lucky to be in. She would let the sand massage her tired feet and hands. The cool breeze would blow through her hair, letting its fingers untangle her hair and wrap its arms around her for a comforting hug. As she would listen to the waves, she could swear she heard it sing to her, but she quickly brushed it off. Those same feelings came back to her as she continued to clean up the beach.
“Oh man, Ruben, you’re really making this easy for me…” Cordelia chuckled, “When the world sees you messing with nature, you’re screwed INDEFINITELY!”
As she began to walk away, she almost stepped in a little ditch but quickly caught herself. When she took a step back, she realized that there were about a dozen newly hatched baby sea turtles that were emerging from that little ditch.
“Oh my God!” Cordelia gasped, unable to hide her true colors when seeing cute little baby sea turtles, “Hey little guys! Welcome to the world!”
As Cordelia looked further into the ditch, she noticed that there was garbage surrounding them, making it almost impossible for them to crawl out and into the ocean. Her face began to grow red in anger, suspecting that this was also Ruben‘s fault.
“Son of a bitch…” Cordelia growled, “Oh I swear you’re gonna pay for this!”
Cordelia quickly dropped her phone and garbage bag to clean out the ditch. One by one, she scooped up each baby turtle and brought them closer to the shore. As she watched the baby turtles crawl into the ocean, she scanned the air for seagulls and other animals that would often prey upon them. The coast was clear for most of the baby sea turtles but she began to see a few seagulls begin circling above her head, ready to snatch up the last few babies. Cordelia didn’t always want to interfere with nature’s processes but she couldn’t bear to see the last few babies getting eaten. She quickly scooped up the last few babies and walked into the ocean, letting them swim on their own as soon as they touched the water.
(Illustration by @gmache)
Watching the baby sea turtles swim off to the depths of the ocean brought a sense of fulfilling joy to Cordelia. She could feel tears running down her face but she chose to ignore it, realizing that this was the ocean's answer to her frustrations towards herself. Cordelia knew deep down that she was a caring person and that staying true to herself was how she was going to get the life she deserved. She still wasn’t sure when or where the right person was for her was going to show up but she didn’t need to be in such a rush to find him. She took a deep breath as she let the cool water engulf her in pure tranquility, reminding her that things will soon fall into place.
As Cordelia turned two get out of the ocean, she felt a strong tide suddenly pulled her into the ocean. She tried to fight back with all of her might but soon lost her footing and fell into the water. Before she got the chance to swim back up into the surface, she inhaled too much water and could feel herself being suffocated. Cordelia felt her eyes grow heavy as she began to sink down into the ocean until they finally closed shut.
To be continued…
#switched gears a little bit#but don’t worry#it will all make sense soon#a part of your world#freddiefredfics#king triton au#basically the little mermaid meets kate and leopold and enchanted#orginal content#origional character#fanfics#ao3 fanfic#disney
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About Zuko and his destiny
Remember I said that "pride is a source of shame" speech was supposed to be about self-esteem recently?
Well, it was a stupid thing to say! Never believe my words ever without thinking critically! Muhahaha!
At least I added "I guess" before it, it's my only consolation.
I mean, inadequately high self-esteem is a potential source of shame, as well as shame is a potential trigger of hiding from reality behind an illusion of your greatness, but Iroh was talking about different things here. Sorry guys, my mind is a mess.
This speech in the context was actually about locus of control* and respect towards destiny (and bigger powers in general).
*I'm not sure this term is used the same in different languages and psychological conceptions, but I explain what exactly I meant by this below
So, to regain my honor, I wanna talk a little bit about Zuko and his locus of control here.
The boy's problem is that he believes himself capable of controlling things he actually has no power over. That's the main reason for "turmoil in his soul" - shame is only a symptom of this (as well as him not thinking things through, but more on this later).
The thing is, you're never going to be angry or ashamed of not achieving something you deem impossible. And controlling destiny is something impossible for a human.
Zuko talks about destiny a lot, but he doesn't really respect it. He thinks he can tell his destiny what it should be, but destiny is a bit like lightning - you can't command it, only to be its humble conductor.
(Him yelling at the storm in the "Bitter Work" and not getting his "answer" was a brilliant illustration of this, actually)
And "You can choose your own destiny" is a good thing to believe only as long as you interpret it humbly.
That is, you can choose your goals and ways of achieving them, and thus you can affect the course of your life to a certain extent, but destiny always involves bigger (or just different) powers than a person's own will. And when you don't respect those powers, you're doomed to be constantly angry and frustrated with your life and other people.
Let's look at the later episodes of book 2 from this angle.
Iroh scolded Zuko for not thinking things through when he found him with Appa, but he didn't make an accent on the reason behind it: Zuko believed that his will is stronger than objective circumstances and everything should solve itself somehow just because he wants it.
Still, Zuko wasn't all that hopeless, and he actually managed to get this thing right by himself later during his sickness! (Or at least that is what I believe now). His "magical metamorphosis" insight actually was about him realizing that he couldn't command his destiny and thus finally accepting his circumstances.
And it was a good thing and a very big improvement in itself!
But Zuko's general system of twisted beliefs and values was not something what could be fixed just by Iroh's yelling or Katara's kindness. So, the moment the circumstances changed and the "destiny" he wanted became actually achievable, Zuko took it.
And this makes the end of book 2 painfully logical.
(Well, actually, I have another interpretation for Zuko's mysterious transformation here.
You see, when you yell "Think of who you are and what do you want" at someone who loves you in the moment they're about to make a decision you clearly don't approve, it's basically a scream "Please be a person I want you to be".
Then, Zuko's choice of freeing Appa was mostly dictated by his love towards Iroh (and a bit by general "to hell with all this, since I'm already here..." impulse). Zuko didn't choose "good" - he chose to make Iroh happy in the conditions when he couldn't really do much else. Iroh misinterpreted Zuko's behavior here, and it was a set-up for the whole future disaster.
You see, he tried to put in Zuko's head the idea that "his destiny" is not something he really wants. But catching the Avatar (by stealing his bison) was something Zuko wanted. For many different reasons. He was neither pretending nor trying to fulfill someone else's will here.
And you should never treat people like idiots who don't know their own desires - this is what Zuko's betrayal teaches us. That, and what love and respect are two completely different things: Azula, with all her manipulations, actually showed Zuko more respect than his uncle here.)
Something like this. Thanks for your attention again?..
I ignore all notifications.
The next part of 'Overanalyzing Maiko' series is in working.
P. S.: By the way, Iroh had a proverb about self-worth as well! "The best tea tastes delicious whether it comes in a porcelain pot or a tin cup". This man has many wise things to say, he's great! … Except what he didn't make a difference between "best" tea and "unconditionally self-loving" tea clear here. Oh well.
I wonder how many stupid things I said without realizing it this time lol. Whyyy my brain is such a mess?
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Why Should we read books
There is a saying that a person lives a single life and a reader lives many ,as a books contains many life experiences (if you opt for life lesson one),reading a book based on something you like to read can be a addictive thing (any thing in excess in bad).
So why you should read a book?here what happens when you read a book:--
Mental Stimulation
stress Reduction
knowledge
Memory improvement
Stronger Analytical Thinking skills
Better Writing skills
Improves Focus and Concentration
Vocabulary Expansion
Mental Stimulation
Just like any other muscle in the body, the brain requires exercise to keep it strong and healthy,so the phrase"use it or lose it"is particularly apt when it comes to your mind.Doing puzzles and playing games such as chess(and some video games) have also been found to be helpful with cognitive stimulation.This can also be achieved just by reading a book.
Stress Reduction
No matter how much stress you have at work,in your personal relationships,or countless other issues faced in daily life,it all just slips away when you lose yourself in a great story.A well-written novel can transport you to a different world:),while an engaging article will distract you and keep you in the present moment,letting tension drain away and allowing you to relax can easily achieved by reading book.
Knowledge
Everything you read ,see or watch fills your mind with new bits of information and you never know when it might come in handy so chose your contents wisely as it will effect your future personality:).When a book is published it has been corrected and rechecked by many people so information on a book is more accurate then any Wikipedia or google searches .
Memory Improvement
When you read a book, you have to remember an assortment of characters, their backgrounds, ambitions, history, and nuances, as well as the various arcs and subplots that weave their way through every story. That’s a fair bit to remember, but brains are marvelous things and can remember these things with relative ease
Strong Analytical & Thinking Skills
Have you ever read an amazing mystery novel, and solved the mystery yourself before finishing the book? If so, you were able to put critical and analytical thinking to work by taking note of all the details provided and sorting them out to determine “whodunnit”.That same ability to analyze details also comes in handy when it comes to critiquing the plot; determining whether it was a well-written piece, if the characters were properly developed, if the story-line ran smoothly, etc.
Improves Focus and Concentration
In our internet-crazed world, attention is drawn in a million different directions at once as we multi-task through every day. When you read a book, all of your attention is focused on the story—the rest of the world just falls away, and you can immerse yourself in every fine detail you’re absorbing.
Better Writing Skills
This goes hand-in-hand with the expansion of your vocabulary: Exposure to published, well-written work has a noted effect on one’s own writing, as observing the cadence, fluidity, and writing styles of other authors will invariably influence your own work.
Vocabulary Expansion
The more you read, the more words you gain exposure to, and they’ll inevitably make their way into your everyday vocabulary. Being articulate and well-spoken is of great help in any profession, and knowing that you can speak to higher-ups with self-confidence can be an enormous boost to your self-esteem.
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love language | myg
pairing: min yoongi x oc
genre: FLUFF, that's it
warnings: this is just so cute and self-indulgent lol
words: 5, 123
summary: how min yoongi loves you
“You know there isn’t a point in inviting me out for brunch to only sigh and stab your overpriced meal with a fork right? I already see you enough on a daily basis and I think I’m exceeding my _____ quota for the month.” Jimin says dryly.
Usually, you’d quip back with an equally brute remark of your own but there’s something far heavier lingering at the back of your mind. A territory you weren’t quite sure how to navigate and vocalise. Jimin picks up on your silence and stamps it as odd behaviour because you were far more … hands-on when it came to your retorts but today you’re dead quiet.
Jimin leans forward on his elbows to give you a concerned look when you still silently assault your meal with the fork in your grip.
“… is this even _____?”
You look up and your expression is unimpressed. Jimin raises his arms up in defense before retreating to the comfort of his plush sofa chair—a product of allowing him to choose the venue for your dire brunch that and the cost was your empty wallet and every last bit of your mental health.
“What do you think of Yoongi?”
The question throws Jimin off not because he has no idea who that is—but because you were shy and timid. A soft-spoken person by nature that liked keeping to yourself and that was a huge juxtaposition in terms of your friendship with Jimin because he was everything you were not. He was loud, the biggest person in every room, and the person that everyone knew on campus.
Your friendship was an unlikely occurrence even for your lecturers when they’d glance at you from the hallways or when your peers would eye you oddly when they’d see Jimin partaking in every extra-curricular there was available and while you chose to do your own thing, far away from the action and where you were safely kept in your own bubble.
Jimin is surprised because you were already very private, and as your best friend, he didn’t take any offense to that when you didn’t share matters of your life with him. He already overcompensated for the fact that all he did was talk about his personal life—which you didn’t mind either. It was a healthy balance and a give and take that the two of you found a pattern with.
So for you to bring up the name of your boyfriend—which Jimin only knew because he caught a glimpse of a name with a heart and a text with the word ‘date’ attached to it—was definitely out of character.
“Yeah. This definitely isn’t _____,” Jimin says, “I’d like her back, please. I need someone to have no backbone so I can trample on her without her ever complaining.”
You glare at him even harder and stab the lettuce on your plate harder.
“You know what? Forget it …” You mutter, pushing your plate away from you.
Jimin levels you with a wry look and reaches his hand out to stop you from being overdramatic with your actions. Since you weren’t the best with words, you naturally compensated for being a little excessive with your actions in hopes for other people to be able to pick up on your hints. And as your best friend—Jimin knew that you were bottling something inside and wanted him to pry.
“You know this trick isn’t going to work on me, right?” Jimin points out, “And as much as I call myself the self-proclaimed genius between the two of us I can’t read minds so you’re going to need to elaborate on what you mean by ‘what do I think of Yoongi’.”
You scowl and fiddle with your fingers when Jimin gives you a look that tells you that you should speak up or forget about it. Sometimes you hated the fact that Jimin was confident and assured of himself, never avoiding confrontation while all you did was dodge it. Another reason why your friendship was unlikely but somewhat necessary.
“As my friend … what do you think of Yoongi—” You mumble, “—for me.”
Jimin raises an eyebrow at your soft tone.
“For … you?” He parrots your question back.
Your ears burn and you feel stupid enough asking Jimin about his opinion on Yoongi when you already felt flustered even mentioning his name to anyone that wasn’t yourself.
“Jimin …” You whine.
“Don’t Jimin me,” He snaps, “You know my hearing is bad.”
You roll your eyes and cast your eyes downwards to your abandoned plate as you pick at the skin around your nails, a habit you’ve picked up from Yoongi. Though you can’t really say that you picked it up from him since it was also a nervous routine of yours but knowing that Yoongi shared that in a different way made it feel like you got it from him.
Jimin sighs.
He wasn’t being harsh on you—in fact, this was him encouraging you to open up because while he was all hard and edges, and possibly overbearing at times; he respected you and loved you as a friend. You were never mean, rude or disrespectful and even if the two of you were fundamentally different in nature, you co-existed peacefully and were able to share little things in common that made the interactions between the two of you fruitful.
And he knew that speaking of your relationship with Yoongi was hard not because he was treating you horribly (at least he hopes so) but because you had the tendency of solving all your problems yourself. Even ones that were far out of your range of capability, and as someone who has received an abundance of help and advice from someone as soft-spoke as you—he wanted to be able to reciprocate somehow.
“Are the two of you okay?” Jimin asks.
You nod your head.
“We are … I just—well …” You mumble, “I just want your opinion.”
Jimin raises his eyebrow because he didn’t want you to feel like he needed his approval for you to date Yoongi. He trusted you and knew that you were smart enough to let the people you felt the same way about in.
“Babe, you don’t need my opinion. You’re the one in the relationship with him and as long he’s not being manipulative, abusive or an unwarranted jackass then I have no right to interfere in your relationship.” Jimin frowns.
You sigh.
“No, no … it’s not like that,” You shake your head, “I just wanted to know what you think of him … as a person.”
Your request is odd for multiple reasons, but mostly because of the timing because it seemed like a question you’d pose before the two of you made it official but this question came eight months into the relationship.
“I don’t think I can give you an answer _____. My interactions are limited with Yoongi as it is and I can’t give you an objective answer without sounding like a complete asshole if I judge him based on the way he looks.”
“Why would you sound like an asshole?” You furrow your brows.
Jimin shoots you a deadpan.
“Min Yoongi is the poster boy of the average college girl’s wet dream and he checks all the boxes of fitting all the stereotypes of a brooding, mysterious jock with a secret that he hides only for a girl to swing into his life and change his outlook completely. He’s quiet—quieter than you—and downright intimidating. It doesn’t help that you don’t want me hanging out with him just yet—which I totally respect by the way—so that just adds to his aloof aura.”
You blink at Jimin.
The description of Yoongi based on his outward appearance is … apt. But not what you were looking for. You knew that when you first saw Yoongi at band practices was when you first decided that you were scared of good-looking people. Albeit Jimin was also insanely attractive but he had an atmosphere around him that made people feel comfortable. Not that Yoongi actively made people uncomfortable … but he radiated major celebrity vibes that it was intimidating to get close to him.
Until small talks happened to shared giggles and him eventually asking you out informally, a context outside of your band practices that you saw glimpses of Yoongi that no one else did. He was soft, understanding, and though a little bad at expressing how he feels … but he was Yoongi and you liked him.
You might even love him, but there are times where you’re hesitant about your relationship.
“I think I love him.” You squeak.
Jimin’s eyes widen, another surprise for him for the day because you’ve just ignored his very superficial description of your boyfriend, which he half-expected you to be mad at. But for you to say that you thought you were in love with him was just a reaction he was not expecting at all.
“You—okay?” Jimin scrunches his eyebrows, “I’m happy for you, I really am! But … that doesn’t explain why you need my opinion?”
You breathe out and will yourself to look at Jimin’s face, even with the burn of your cheeks.
“You’re my … best friend, Jimin.” You say softly.
Jimin’s eyes ease on your timid features before he reaches out a comforting hand to grab onto your own, nudging you to look into his eyes. Even though Jimin was outgoing as it is, the reason why you stayed friends was that he took the time to understand you and adapt to you even when he didn’t need to. He knew that you were just shy and he never berated you for it, which is why you wanted him to know how you felt—because what he thought was important too.
“_____, love,” Jimin whispers, and you offer a weak smile, “I’m happy for you. Truly. Being in love is a beautiful feeling and I don’t need to be in love with a person to tell you that because love exists everywhere. It exists in the small things that make you smile or giggle when you come across it, and it exists in the way you do the things you adore and achieve your goals. But you don’t need me—or anyone’s—validation to love Yoongi. Love is so personal and so collective at the same time but it’s yours.”
You swallow and hope that you don’t cry in the middle of this posh and overpriced place, and it’s partially because Jimin sounded so earnest when he was talking to you but also because of the ruminating thoughts that plague your mind that made you suggest this brunch in the first place.
“I think I’m in love with him and he doesn’t feel the same.” You sniffle.
Jimin’s grip on your hand tightens momentarily along with his jaw, but he doesn’t want to act irrationally just yet.
“Why do you say that?” He asks tenderly.
You sniff and the tip of your nose turns red and Jimin wants to pat you on the head to comfort you, but the two of you are in public and he knew you hated being vulnerable in general—especially in the public eye.
“It’s just—it’s just—” You stutter, “You know how shy I am and how hard it is for me to … ask for things …”
When he hears your soft tone as your eyes dart away from his face, possibly embarrassed, he rubs a soothing thumb across your knuckles and listens to you intently.
“But I really try with Yoongi … because I want him to know how much I-I like him,” You whisper, “And every time I tell him how much I like him he just … he just smiles and looks away. Like he doesn’t—doesn’t feel the same.”
Jimin absorbs your words before he smiles softly at you. He understood how difficult it must’ve been for you because this was your first official relationship with someone who looked very closed off, to begin with, but based on your very short and rapt descriptions from time to time, Jimin could say that Yoongi wasn’t a bad person.
“Have you considered that he shows his love a different way?” Jimin asks.
You look up at him confused.
“Huh?”
Jimin chuckles before offering you a small tissue, and you meekly accepted it as you dab at your waterline.
“We all have different ways of giving and receiving love, _____.” He tells you, “No person loves the same and no one feels the same type of love. We are all different because that’s in our nature. And like I said—I don’t know Yoongi well enough to say that he has a specific type of love language but if he’s stuck around for this long … it has to mean something, right?”
Your brunch with Jimin leaves you with something else to think about.
Perhaps you were a little shallow—narrow-minded if you will. But you trusted Jimin, and you decided to see what he meant. You knew that you didn’t have the stereotypical love of shows or movies because while it did depict some form of reality, it was heavily sensationalised and exaggerated. But you never considered that Yoongi had a way of his own, one that was personal and unique to him.
Yoongi never made you feel like you weren’t enough. But the lack of the words that sit on your tongue also made you feel like he didn’t feel the same. It was never what he did, but how you felt. It was irrational, but he was objectively a very attractive person. In more ways than how he looked but the way, he treated others.
He’s mellow and gentle. Words never harsh but sharp enough to make people think. He’s efficient and kind when he wants to be and you see the way he treats his friends and staff at restaurants, even if he’s a little quiet too. The two of you were somewhat similar, but you felt so much for him that you somehow overlooked that one part—that maybe he was quiet in the way he loved too.
But you didn’t want to get your hopes up because while you weren’t … horrible. You weren’t anything spectacular either. You did decently in school, had a decent friend group that mainly consisted of you, Jimin and his other best friend, Taehyung—who told you that you were as much of his best friend like you were Jimin’s—and your bandmates that you shared with Yoongi.
Yoongi was quiet but collateral. He excelled in school, topped his classes two terms in a row, and produced impeccable music on the side. He was charismatic when he had to be an extremely introspective that you sometimes felt lacking when you hear him speak about the world and people.
Maybe that’s why he just smiles and looks away because Yoongi is too kind to break your heart, and his eyes tell the truth.
Maybe that’s why he doesn’t—
“______?” Yoongi calls your name and snaps you out of your daydream.
“Huh?” You respond dazedly and he just smiles at you, gentle as always before he nudges your shoulder slightly forward to place a—pillow?—in between your back and the chair that you were sitting on in his apartment.
“I’ve read somewhere that this helps with your posture.” He tells you, “You said you were having lower back pains so this may help.”
You blink at him and then at your assignments sprawled on his dining table, before turning your head to spot the pillow that you remember gifting him as a small present months back, behind your back, and in between you and the chair. The tension in your lower back does feel alleviated, and you turn back to Yoongi to offer him a gentle smile.
“Thank you, Yoongi.” You say softly.
He smiles at you and the simple gesture makes your stomach flutter with butterflies and your heartbeat a little faster. It’s crazy that the simplest of acts could turn you into mush and that he’s had your heart captive. The word sits on your tongue but fear wins over again.
He brushes stray hands of hair that falls by the side of your face, away, before gathering it with his hand at the back of your neck and tying it with a rubber band that you remember leaving at his place a while back.
“How can you see with your hair in the way?” He scolds, but it’s light.
You scoff, giving him a glare but it’s playful too. It does feel better like you have a clearer vision of the work that you were doing.
“Don’t be mean …” You mumble.
Yoongi laughs and it’s your favourite sound after the bell of your favourite bakery.
You like this look on him, eyes crinkled and mouth open in a gummy grin that you were the cause of. The will to say the word becomes harder, the way he leans in to peck you on the lips makes your mouth move on its own accord.
So before you can justify your actions, you say—
“I love you.”
The words are out and it seems to linger in the air because of the silence. You’re mortified, one because you had just blurted it out in the most unromantic setting ever, but secondly, because Yoongi is just … looking at you again. Like he always does when you tell him how much you like him—a soft smile, but this time his eyes are trained on yours.
The fire on your cheeks feels all the hotter when you know there’s nowhere to hide, or no way to retract your words because you didn’t want to. You loved him—and his silence only solidifies your guesses on the unrequitedness of your love.
“I-I’m sorry!” You yelp, covering your face with your hands, “I-I didn’t—I know that you—I didn’t mean to say that!”
Yoongi continues to look at you and he’s inching closer to you until your locked against your chair, his arms resting around your back as his other elbow leans on the table when he brings his face closer to yours.
“You love me?” He whispers and his breath is on your lips.
Even as you’re overcome with the fact that you do indeed love him, and that he doesn’t feel the same. You can’t bring yourself to deny it, not when your heart has always been for him and your words a reflection of your own heart.
“Y-Yes,” You mumble, eyes looking away, “I’m sorry …”
Yoongi furrows his eyebrows and pulls away from you. The warmth of his body suddenly gone and it reminds you that you may have overstepped. That he realised that you were in too deep and couldn’t just leave you. It scared you, but the silence scares you more.
“Why are you apologising?”
You gulp, looking away but Yoongi nudges your chin to look at him gently. His eyes are still confused, but kind. The look that usually comforts you only makes anxiety settle in the pit of your belly.
“I know you don’t feel the same … it’s okay. I understand. I’m a little … hard to love … I know. B-But it’s okay. You don’t need to say it—at all. I can … I can deal with it. Just please don’t leave me.” You whimper.
Yoongi pulls away completely as if he’s been scathed. You don’t have anything else to say but you’re appalled to find your vision getting blurry and the lump in your throat getting unbearable. But you try not to cry, especially when Yoongi looks torn.
But he doesn’t do what you’re expecting and tells you that it’s over, but instead, he returns into your space, making you forget about your embarrassment and cups your cheeks ever so gently while looking at you with ardent eyes.
“Please don’t cry …” He whispers.
And you hate that you do. You cry because he’s holding you so gently and his hands feel warm against your cheek. You cry because you love him and he doesn’t feel the same. You cry because all your cards are out on the table and he’s seen it all.
“I-I’m sorry.” You choke.
Yoongi’s eyes soften before he leans in, pressing a gentle press onto your lips that has your tears in the way as a barrier. You’re still choking on your sobs but his kiss feels comforting and painful at the same time. You want to push him away but you’re selfish—you love him and the feeling of him holding you close like he may feel the same.
When he pulls away, he looks at you again with a gentle, yet intense gaze.
“You’re not hard to love,” He murmurs, “It was so easy falling in love with you because you’re my person. You’re the person that I look forward to seeing every day and the person that I think about the most. Please don’t ever say that you’re hard to love because falling in love with you was the easiest thing that I’ve done in my entire life.”
Your eyes widen, especially when he looks you directly in your own. Your eyes are a little puffy and you’re sure it’s an unattractive sight.
But Yoongi thinks you’re beautiful. He always does. He thinks you’re beautiful when you see him after your classes. He thinks you’re beautiful when you broke the plate you wanted to give his mother as a gift. He thinks you’re beautiful when you’ve just woken up and he thinks you’re beautiful when you’re laughing with his friends and your bandmates.
“I—I—you … you love … me?” You rasp.
Yoongi still has a soft hold on your cheeks, and he feels the wetness of your tears stain his hands but he’s unbothered. He’s more bothered about what you said. The way his heart clenches makes him feel like he’s not done enough. That he could do better to never be the reason for the sadness along with your tears.
“I love you. I do. So much.” He whispers, “You’ve made me feel the kind love that I never thought existed.”
You sob harder and you feel a little pathetic crying in his arms because … how could you have doubted him? You feel relieved and happy, and a little frustrated because you were insecure on your own terms. Even now that you know he loves you—you’re sceptical because he’s Yoongi and you’re you.
Yoongi tugs you into his arms and caresses you with the warmth of his hold, hand patting your head gently. He feels mellow and close while he allows you to cry a little longer. The silence isn’t suffocating anymore, but your mind runs wild with insecurities that you can’t help but—
“Do you really love me?” You ask softly.
Yoongi doesn’t let you go, but you feel him nod and hum against your head.
“I do.”
You nibble on your lips and clutch his t-shirt.
“Then w-why … why do you just smile and look away when I tell you how much I like you?”
Yoongi stays silent for a while, but you don’t take it as a bad sign. Even with your small arguments with him from time-to-time throughout the eight months you’ve been together, Yoongi has never once raised his voice at you or acted irrationally. In fact, he’s always stayed a little quiet for a while, as if he was thinking of the appropriate way to handle the situation before he spoke.
It only made you love him more.
“I’m sorry.” He apologises, and you feel like shit when you realise you made him apologise to you for no reason but he continues before you can pull away—grip tight around your relaxed figure.
“I’ve been in love with you for months,” His confession makes you gasp, the time that he’s mentioned only makes you a lot more confused, “I … this is the first time I’ve felt this way.”
You stay silent as Yoongi rubs gentle figures on your back, breathing into your hair as you rest your cheek on his chest.
“I’ve always been a little … quiet.” He tells you, “And maybe that’s why I felt so drawn to you because we were so similar. I saw you and thought that you were a beautiful person. That your kindness wasn’t empty promises but actions and your smiles weren’t forced but comforting.”
You feel your eyes water again because of Yoongi’s truthful words. Damn your boyfriend for being able to wax poetic.
“I’ve always found it hard to express things with words, despite writing songs like people eat their meals. My mom always told me that I was a doer rather than a sayer.” He jokes, and you find yourself giggling a little when you think of Yoongi’s mother.
A strong woman, her tongue was as sharp as her sons and you definitely see where he gets his wisdom from. She was louder spoken, confident—and yet she was gentle and kind. A person that drew people in.
“I do things for you because I love you, ______. I love you in a way that can last forever because I want it to. I want to love you in a way that you’ll remember and always think of me when you see the physical pieces left by the footprints of my affection.”
It should’ve been cheesy but Yoongi has a way with words to make you blush and your heart flutter.
His words register in you, and you feel blind to not have seen it the entire time.
Even before this, when he placed the pillow behind you to support your lower back—or when he tied your hair back so you could focus better. Or the time when he drove all the way from his hometown back to campus because you were performing a solo piece for band, then drove back to see his parents.
You remember the song he wrote to you for your birthday, accompanied by a book that you’ve put on your Wishlist for months. The memory of his gentle hands removing the face mask from your face when you’ve fallen asleep and tucking you into his bed pricks your mind.
Looking back—you remember feeling absolutely loved and adored. Even if you didn’t explicitly think of the word ‘love’—but you felt safe, comforted and accepted. And you realise that love isn’t one-dimensional. Love is everything that makes you feel complete.
When you look up at him, he’s still offering you the same gentle smile he does when you told him how much you liked him—to when you said you loved him. He still looks the same, smiles the same, and feels the same. It’s you.
“I’m sorry.” You wail.
His eyes widen but you don’t cry. You feel dumb, blind almost because he’s been nothing but loving towards you but it was you who had your doubts.
“Baby, please don’t apologise.” He runs a thumb across your cheek.
“I just—I can’t believe I accused you of not loving me when all you’ve been doing is—when all you’ve done is treat me amazingly. I feel so … stupid.” You groan.
Yoongi smiles at you and rubs his thumb in between your furrowed brows.
“You’ll get wrinkles if you frown all the time.” He tuts.
You glare at him through puffy eyes but hold on to him tighter.
“I really am sorry.” You mumble.
Yoongi hums.
“I’m sorry too. I should’ve been more—explicit.”
You frown, pulling away.
“No Yoongi.” You say, “You loved me in your own way and I felt every bit of it. I just conflated the need of being reassured with words and being reassured in your gestures. I shouldn’t have doubted you and projected my insecurities onto you.”
"And it's not your fault for feeling insecure. I'm your boyfriend and I want to be able to reassure you in every way I possibly can. If you need to hear an I love you I'll shout it on top of the highest roof I can find—if you want to be held then I'll hold you and never let go."
Your heart flutters and you bask in his gentle words.
Yoongi wraps a gentle hand around the nape of your neck before bringing you closer, lips hovering right above your own before he closes the distance. His lips are warm and soft, and he doesn’t rush the kiss as if he was dealing with porcelain glass. But he knew you weren’t fragile and easily broken—but he still knew that you were someone that he wanted to care for, for a long time.
He kisses you and it feels right. It feels like you were returning home after months away.
When he pulls away ever so slightly to look into your eyes, breath still fanning on your lips—you feel welcomed.
“When I think of love I think of you. When I think of happiness your face appears in my mind. And when I think fo you, I think of what I can do to make the environment we have a little better for you. I love you, _____. And I’ll spend as long as I can reminding you.”
“Yoongi …” You blush because you didn’t know how romantic he could be when he wanted to.
“I’m serious, _____.” He looks at you seriously, “You know what my mom said when I brought you over?”
You raise an eyebrow because while you remember the meeting being absolutely pleasant, even if you did fumble and break the gift you brought. His mother only smiled at you, the same one that marks her son's face—and said that it was okay. It only meant that you should come again to compensate. Her tone was light and comfortable, and you immediately felt the tension be alleviated from your shoulders.
He takes the tilt of your head as his cue to continue.
“She said that she’s never seen me as expressive as I was when I was with you,” You snort at his exasperation, but you see the honesty that pours out, “Hyung even said that I’ve gotten soft.”
You roll your eyes when he tugs you closer by your chair until your legs were dangling by the side of his hips. Your arms are wrapped around his shoulders and Yoongi still smiles at you like it’s the most natural thing to do.
“But I like you soft …” You smile.
“And I love you with me.” Yoongi returns.
You blush, and you allow him to hold you close.
And in his arms, do you realise that some things didn’t need to be said.
#bts fic#bts fluff#bts fics#bts imagines#min yoongi fic#yoongi fic#min yoongi fluff#min yoongi x reader#yoongi imagine#yoongi fluff#yoongi x reader#bts yoongi#min yoongi imagine
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