Happy Tuesday, my fellow Traveler 🤗
As someone who has dealt with anxiety as soon as I wake up, whether it's after a night's sleep or a nap (though less so with the siestas), I know how funky it can be to get going when feeling this uneasy and overwhelmed way. No doubt, we've got our coping approaches by now, but maybe it's time for another update. The anxiety hits differently at this point, so perhaps it's about getting more and more savvy in implementing some dynamic practices that can make a big difference in how we feel and approach the next thing. You might know by now I'm about using those switchwords because I feel like I'm sweetly hacking my mental, so allow me to offer my 9 "power" switchwords that I generally choose from to move into feeling more relieved and balanced after I wake up ready to be all Knight of Swords reversed. I'm like 'Whoa there, Nelly, let's stop right here', before I feed into that urge to take off with no real plan or simply shut down by the weight of the pressure. So here we go:
Take deep breaths: Right away. The simple act of taking a few deep breaths can help to calm the mind and body. Focus on inhaling and exhaling slowly and deeply. Repeat the switchword CALM within, breathing in and out.
Stretch the body: While still in bed, take a few minutes to stretch the body. This will help to release any retained tension. Repeat the switchword RELEASE to encourage liberation.
Drink water: Staying hydrated is important for overall health, so clearly it also helps to slide beyond anxiety. Drink a glass of water by the side of the bed and sip on some while lovingly repeating the switchword HEALING.
Fill up with "thanks": Take a beat further; look, listen, feel… Start with the essentials like 'how good it is to breathe', 'I like wiggling my toes', 'It looks wonderful outside'; you know, stuff like that, and appreciate each with increasing attention. Repeat the switchword THANKFUL while focusing on these pleasing conditions. Endeavor to take some time to cycle through this, if time permits. If not, any bit is glorious.
Journal: Jot down any thoughts or feelings that are causing anxiety. Are these thoughts happening now, in live action? Or is it the possibility of the unwanted coming true to the 3D that's scary? Get to the truth by asking if these disturbing thoughts and feelings are actively relative right this very moment, or if at all. Exploring questions that lead to truth can help to untangle the mind and allow freedom to move on with a clearer view. Repeat the switchword CLEAR while writing.
Meditate: Spend a few minutes meditating or practicing mindfulness, being only in the now moment. Recite the switchword PEACE while focusing on the breath and going beyond any racing thoughts.
Visualize a positive outcome: Leisurely imagine overcoming any personal challenges or obstacles going on. Repeat the switchword SUCCESS while visualizing the desired experience.
Get moving: Engage in some light exercise, such as a short walk or yoga. Beat the drum on the switchword ENERGY to help add that extra pep.
Set intentions: Decide on one thing to accomplish or focus on for the day. Take the switchword FOCUS with gentle confidence while setting the intention.
By implementing these practices and focusing on the accompanying switchwords, the power to upgrade the vibe is real. With the refreshed sense of grace and clarity, I'm willing to keep it going on the daily, not only using them when I wake up feeling out of sorts. Let me know of any takeaways or your experiences in using any of these 9 power switchwords or about your go-to switchwords that gives you that smooth shift from morning anxiety to that 'It's all gonna work out' feeling, ok?
P.S. It's smart to consult with a qualified health professional or therapist before starting any new self-help practice or additional assistance is called for, especially if you have a pre-existing medical condition or mental health concern. As usual, I share my DIY ideas; practices that have proven to be effective for me, along with others who share with me the benefits they experience using some version of these methods. Know that my primary intention is to inspire, not at all to prescribe. Please use whatever works and leave the rest to the rest.
2 notes
·
View notes
Every morning is the hardest with this anxiety disorder. I always cry and I want to go home to my hometown and I miss my parents and my sister...
But I always survive these mornings somehow. If you are in the same shoes, keep going! Until now, you've survived 100% of your mornings and tomorrow will do just the same.
In other news, positive things in my day today:
- I almost finished my seminar paper (only needs some polishing that I hope I can do tomorrow morning)
- My dad called me and even though he is struggling too, he gave me so much strength and I can, after years of lack of emotional affection from him, finally feel how much he loves me. It means a lot that he tries to help and doesn't abandon me in these dark days of mine
- I also talked to my mom and my sister and they made me laugh, and I finally haven't felt that laughing while struggling is a crime (it's not!! Please, laugh as much as you can, you need those happy chemicals)
- I talked to my grandma too, she is my ray of sunshine, I love her so much 🤍
- I had to take my meds, but I finally accepted they are a source of help and I need them now, until I can be strong again
- I washed my clothes, my hair and I will ask God to help me next week, as I will have to encounter a lot of stress again (cardiology, psychiatrist and I also have to read a book by Tuesday and write something about it)
- I feel like my hands aren't trembling all day anymore and my heart rate is more okay too (I almost stopped checking my pulse all the time, nowadays I only do it once or twice a day)
I am trying really hard to tell my subconscious we will be alright. I believe we will.
- Reni
1 note
·
View note
hurt/comfort | mentions of anxiety and trauma | crossposted to twitter
"what's that?" eddie murmurs into the quiet darkness of their bedroom.
dread piles into steve's stomach. he wants to tug his sleeve over his hands so eddie can't see the writing on his palm anymore. wants to hide the pen marks by holding onto his hips instead.
"it's nothing," he whispers back, attaching his lips to the underside of eddie's jaw. he knows his boyfriend melts at the kisses he puts there. knows it will distract him from asking any more prying questions.
the ink is smudged, hardly legible anymore after a day at work. between washing his hands and shuffling papers and rubbing subconsciously at his palm when that certain type of anxiety knots into his gut, the pen marks from earlier are halfway to disappearing until he starts it all over again the next morning.
steve can't help it. he thought that moving in with eddie, having his support, would make it easier to cope with it all. thought that having someone else to help hold him accountable was the answer.
yet here he is, writing a list on his hand every morning, just to help him remember simple things.
he turns on the coffee pot in the morning, makes a note of it on his palm, crosses it out when he turns the pot off and tells himself over and over that it's actually off and he's not imagining it.
he locks the door and writes "LOCKED" in all caps so he doesn't come home halfway through the day to check and make sure it's actually locked.
he brushes his teeth, he feeds the dog, he puts his wallet in his briefcase, he closes the refrigerator door after breakfast and writes reminder after reminder on his palm in sticky black ink.
it helps, really it does, when steve's mind starts to wander in a boring meeting and he gets that hot rush of guilt of forgetting something burning through his veins. he'll look at his hand under the table and scan over the notes, find what's looking for, and try to breathe.
he'll read it over and over, the crossed out "coffee pot" or the "wallet in bag" or the "fed duke", until he feels like it sinks in, blinking back into real time to focus.
it's some strange mix of anxiety and lack of control and head trauma, robin thinks.
steve can't talk to a lot of people about it, embarrassed that he can't remember doing simple fucking tasks, but robin gets it. gets him. robin lets him swing his legs into her lap and pulls his hand up to her face so she can inspect the notes from the day to piece them all together.
it was her idea in the first place to write on his hand. she had suggested paper first but that was too easy to lose especially if he couldn't remember setting it down. she traces over the ink and lets him vent about feeling like a failure or stupid or some type of broken, reminding him gently that none of them got out hawkins without scars.
but steve hasn't let eddie see that yet, too afraid of breaking whatever they've made together, too afraid of scaring him off with his cracked brain and clenched jaw. too afraid of being built so wrong that he'll look like a once shiny penny covered in rust-colored problems.
so he digs his fingers into his palm, nails slicing into flesh & ink, and presses his lips fiercely into eddie's jaw to stop him from spilling any secrets. lets his tongue sneak out as an apology for not showing him his jagged edges. lets his teeth bite against the words he wants to say.
"baby," eddie whispers, his gentle callused hands trailing over steve's arms to settle on his clenched fist. he shakes his head against eddie's chin, bites at his neck again, ignores the way the love of his fucking life is trying to peel his fingers open to see it. see him.
steve feels raw, a live wire, one second away from snapping into sparks of electricity. he shakes his hand free and curls it around the small of eddie's back, tugging him closer, hiding his shame.
"it's nothing," he repeats, voice shaky and rough against eddie's skin.
if he just slots his leg right, if he just presses into eddie right, if he just tips his head and rolls his hips and plays his cards right, he can avoid all of this all together. he can take eddie's mind away from the writing on his hand and convince them both everything is okay.
but it's not that easy, it never is, because there fingers wrapping around his wrist at an awkward angle to pull his hand back and heat flares up in his cheeks. eddie's going to see, going to ask, going to figure out that steve is broken beyond repair and it's all thanks to one too many blows to the head & one too many times of fucking up & one too many times of leaving the goddamn door unlocked.
"i just-" he bites out, trying and failing to pull his arm out from eddie's grasp. maybe some part of him wants to come clean and get the inevitable over and done with. "-they're just some notes okay?"
and now eddie's looking between him and his palm with those eyes that hold love and the pity that he hates, so he blinks away, jolts to get his arm free again. he doesn't want pity, he doesn't want puppy dog eyes, he doesn't want the reminder that he can't-
but then there's lips pressing oh so gently to the hand he rubbed raw earlier when he could have sworn he didn't triple check that he paid the water bill. there's the flutter of eyelashes against his fingertips as eddie trails kisses over the thing that makes him feel less than.
steve doesn't fight to pull his arm back anymore. his shoulders drop, his muscles relax, and that ball of dread in the pit of his stomach eases away into something that feels more like acceptance.
"that's smart," eddie mutters against his palm. "to help you remember?"
and just like that, it isn't secret anymore. just like that eddie's peeled back the layers of bravado and nonchalance and seen steve for the mess he is.
he kisses the notes like it's the easiest thing to do and maybe for eddie it is. maybe taking a piece of steve's hurt is what they found each other for. maybe eddie was made to understand every inch of steve from the inside out like the way a vine instinctually knows to follow the sun.
steve resettles his face in eddie's neck, nods and breathes him in so he has him deep in his lungs. "it was robin's idea."
"she's smart too, then." eddie hums and drops steve's hand gently, letting it wind back around him so he can tangle his in steve's hair. "does it help?"
"yep," steve mumbles.
"how have i never noticed you scribbling on your hand everyday?" eddie asks with his lips pressed into the crown of steve's head.
"i didn't want you to see. i'm pretty good at hiding."
he can feel when eddie takes in a deep breath. feel when his chest expands and collapses before whispering "start adding 'eddie loves me' on there."
steve shakes his head with a small grin, his heart beat slowing from an anxious jack-rabbiting speed to something more eddie paced. "i never need a reminder of that one."
2K notes
·
View notes