poor memory is a huge deal and i wish people wouldn't diminish it by saying "oh yeah i can't remember what i had for breakfast lol."

i can't remember the first 10 years of my life. i can't remember entire days, weeks, months at a time. i can't remember entire people, i can't remember names or faces. i can't remember when things are scheduled for, my calendar app on my phone is booked to the max with reminders and task checklists. i can't remember when i moved into what home when, i can't remember important milestone dates like when i got or lost certain jobs, or when i started a new hobby.

that's what i mean when i say i have poor memory. poor memory is so scary for the person who has it. it's not a quirky thing, everyone forgets small details. memory problems are scary because you can go through entire events or days with no memory, or plan for things in the future that you can't recall ever even looking into or scheduling. it's not a funny haha kind of thing, it's serious, and it affects a lot of people in very unavoidable ways.

not being able to plan for appointments or work schedules, not being able to remember people's names or faces, not being able to recall whether or not you were present for something or whether or not you met someone, not being able to keep track of what's happening on what dates and losing track of items because you can't remember where you put them are all very real problems, and anyone dealing with them deserves to be taken seriously, and not diminished when they choose to speak up about it.

Just in case anyone else needed to hear this today-

Your health is not your fault. You didn’t do anything to “deserve” this. And you are right, it isn’t fair. You are allowed to feel upset, hurt, angry and jealous that your health, body or mind disables you.

It’s not fair, and that sucks. You are allowed to scream about that as much as you need to.

just. ugh. youll say “i am experiencing something that is a literal textbook symptom of the disorder i have” and nts will tell you youre making it up and its obviously not a real thing

Just a little reminder for you today. You are loved. I know you are trying your best, and I promise you that it is enough. Any mistakes you made today will pass, give yourself the kindness of admitting that you are just a person and people make mistakes. Take a deep breathe in, and let it out. You can do this hard thing.

Please hear me.

Being tired isn't normal. It doesn't matter that you're aging. Being fatigued is a serious sign.

It might be difficult to judge "normal tired" from "bad tired". Rule of thumb is that if you notice that other people seem to be on another plane of existence with alertness, you're not "normal tired".

I slept for 10-12 hours a day at least and still was tired for most of the day but "functioned" (went to work).

It turns out it wasn't just one thing. It was a lot of things. I went on liquid vitamins first because that's all I had energy for—to throw money at something that can be delivered to me. And it was crucial. I went off my heart medication after my doctor let me know my active heart rate was way too low (prior to the vitamins). I felt super improved and this went from feeling super improved to extremely improved after I began to eat more healthy fats (avocados, eggs, nuts, vegetarian-friendly animal products). I cannot emohasize the eating more fats thing enough. Did you know that due to our biology women are supposed to have way more healthy fats than what we're typically told?

I had struggled with other symptoms I brushed off as normal too. My hands and feet being cold all the time. Turns out this wasn't normal. How many women and girls have cold hands and feet constantly? I was "adoringly clumsy". Balance issues from vitamin B12 deficiency. Foot cramps. Magnesium deficiency. Generalized anxiety disorder. Still have it, but significantly improved because my body isn't fighting for it's life. Lack of focus/concentration issues to the point where I worried I had ADHD or something since that's all I know about that mental health condition.

Constant cravings I blamed on emotional eating. Increasing my healthy fat intake all about cured this—helped more than protein. I began to lose weight when I increased my healthy fats because I was no longer seeking out sugar or bad fats. Iron deficiency and vitamin D3 deficiencies were also confirmed on blood tests before I started liquid vitamins.

When I went off my heart med and bought those dumb electrolyte packets for my water, my arrhythmia is now hardly noticeable physically.

And to circle back—I am awake. And I sometimes break down and cry because I can't believe how I was functioning now that I understand what having energy feels like. I didn't know. I didn't know there was even anything wrong with me. I thought I was just a tired person. That being tired was normal to being female and aging.

Chronic fatigue is extremely serious. It's not normal. You're not just a tired person.

People when someone with bpd starts showing symptoms of a literal personality disorder that can’t be romanticized: 😮 😡

@theofficialsadghostclub

Y’all we need to normalize stimming by making weird noises. Like, lemme go “bloop” and “blep” to stim. Especially in public places. Alongside my ADHD, I have GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) which makes me very paranoid when I’m being stared at, but people stare at me all the time for shushing people and stimming. Normalize weird stimming noises.

I want to say, "I love you," without being afraid they will leave me on my bad days.

You’re not in trouble. I know you may feel very deeply that you must be, that you have committed a secret wrong you need to fix. It’s very hard to deal with these feelings in our body, but you’re not in trouble. Take a moment to breathe and remind yourself that you are safe. Look at those around you and remember they are not secretly upset with you. It will all be okay.

This is just your daily reminder that your lived experience is valid. No one else gets to speak on if you’ve had it rough or not. No one else gets to tell you that everything you’ve suffered through was for attention. No one gets to tell you that you should’ve just tried harder or been better. No one gets to tell you that someone else having it harder invalidates your own struggle. Your pain is valid. Your struggle is valid. You are valid.

Watching my adult acquaintances have the same uncomfortable realizations I had at 12-ish because of my anxiety disorder: