finally finishing up Of That Colossal Wreck
the absolute torment nexus vibes of calling your project "the ozymandias project" lmao
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Wrote this once when I was feeling really misunderstood:
“I never felt comprehended in any away. In a room full of people, my vision becoming hazy. I sensed the weight of stares and my heart pounding in my ears. But I had to suck it up, I had to nod.
I told myself: ‘Look away, shut your eyes, swallow harshly and laugh along.’ They thought it was self-mockery, when it really just was silent resignation.”
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the Sailor
the sailor sat, gasping for breath
It didn’t notice the pebble digging into its leg
(it forgot.)
as misery wrote its repeating repetitions into the sand
The air was so rough against her tongue
she might have wondered if it was sand after all
but it tasted like stained wooden floors and everything she’d left behind
so she didn’t wonder anything
and he remembered the stained wooden floors and the acrid smoke
(and he forgot the beach being carved away beneath him)
The sky was dark
(wasn’t the moon full?)
and the water was dark
(or at least waxing?)
and he could feel the misery grinding away at the ground
(but he forgot that too.)
The water was dark and they remembered the floor,
that stained wooden floor and everything they’d left behind.
They forgot
the chasm
(they remembered the stains)
the chasm, even though they could feel it was there
Even though they could feel the water filling it
The sand did not remember the beach it had been, because sand cannot remember anything.
The sailor was surrounded by misery’s chant
Its eyes were not closed nor open.
The moon waxed overhead
as the misery spat a board out from between its teeth
The beach, bereft of what it had been
The sand had trickled away like an hourglass.
and the sailor and the water and the board from between its teeth
and the misery, and the water
and the sailor and the waxing moon
The board had never smelled of smoke nor
been a floor nor was it stained just so
but when it struck her treading arms she remembered the misery and the moon and the pebble beneath her leg
She remembered the chasm, and the beach that had been
She’d never know if she chose or her mind chose for her
but when the hope struck her treading arms she clutched at it tightly
and breathed in the smooth, glittering air
He clutched at the board
and the air tasted of salt and delicately descending dawn
The misery swayed him, he had no sand nor stained wooden floor
but he clutched at the hope and smelled the salt instead and
remembered the moon was a waxing crescent.
Maybe their mind chose it for them, the joy, the hope, but they held fast
the sand had been swept away by moonlit misery
but the sailor clutched at the joy
and sailed on
.
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