You won't ever find the answer to the actions of horrible people who only want to hurt others, and do you know why? Because you're not them.
k.b. // always remember
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"Sometimes, I hope people can always say what they truly feel. And be genuine about it. No restrictions. No holding back. No keeping all the most important parts.
But then I remembered that I myself couldn't even do that. So why would I expect other people to be like that?
I realized that sometimes we have to choose what we only have to say from the words that we truly want to say. Every word doesn't have to be said out loud; rather, let our actions show what we truly mean. Because not everyone has the time to listen to what we're about to say, and that's totally okay. We human beings don't have all the time in the world to understand everything that's happening around us. We're all busy trying to save ourselves and live life the way we want to.
So it's fine if you can't compose yourself to say everything you want to. But remember that there are so many ways to reach those people who are important to you. And I hope you'll be surrounded by the right people who will lend an ear to hear the stories that you've been holding onto."
I wish I was braver // ma.c.a
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I met a boy I think I loved in a past life. The first time we met, he sat a couple seats away from me in class and as the time ticked on he eventually looked my way and as our eyes crossed for just a second something in my heart exploded.
I never knew why but the second he walked into the room I was only aware of him and how he moved and the soft curls of his hair. I would glance out of the corner of my eye ever couple minutes to see the shape of his mouth as he talked or catch his eye, just once, like I couldn't stand to stop looking at him.
One time, he told me he liked my coat and I think I said that to him years ago, sliding the wool between my fingers, looking up at him through my lashes. I thought about his words for days after, like they were written on my bones.
My friend swears he looks at me like he is coming home from war.
I think he did, or maybe he didnt.
Maybe he never came home from the war and our love died in a foreign land and now, finally, we can lay eyes on one another again.
I swear we loved each other, but now we are strangers and I am stuck watching him, lingering in the room waiting to be acknowledged because my soul remembers and I am hoping his does as well.
We walk past each other on the sidewalk and I think of running my fingers through his curls as he gives me that small smile, but he keeps walking.
-After the After, July 2023
(s.m.)
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When I see the first rain of the season, I hear the sound of mourning. The first cry when the doctor announces that their loved one didn't make it.
When I see lightning, I hear the sound of a merciless storm which just doesn't seem to end as a lonely daughter waits for her mother to heal sitting outside the intensive care unit.
When I see branches break off trees, I hear the sighs of a fearful son who is barely managing to hold back his tears because grief is knocking at his door, his time has come to become poor, to lose that one person he has always lived for.
When I see smiling people, I hear the sound of unbearable cries, the hidden pain and cruel nights.
When I see spring, I hear the cracking sound of yellow leaves, temporary all of it, soon the flowers will wither and the trees will be left empty and naked.
The other side of the moon, I. With what ease will I fall for these glitters offered by life? I have seen deaths before my eyes, everything ends after a point, what's so exciting about fleeting light?
-Sabina Yesmin
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The broken who never bleeds.
The empty who never needs.
The writer that doesn't read.
The romantic with no strings.
The suicidal who still breathes.
The depressed that never grieve.
The contradictions of beauty in everything.
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