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#me when. me when the found family dynamic is complicated and full of hurt
haunted-xander · 1 year
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I already know, so why won't you just say it?
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msfcatlover · 10 months
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@alycat76: What’s the platonic a/b/o one about?
Okay, this is immediately going under a readmore, because I know plenty of people hate the very concept of A/B/O, and I don’t want to make them uncomfortable.
.
SO! I have recently discovered that purely platonic A/B/O stories are actually something I kinda love. It’s about what it does to the setting, and the inter-character dynamics, and the incredibly intense hurt-comfort sickfics you can get out of it, and also I’m a sucker for empathetic bonds in fiction (people really don’t do enough with them.)
But there were some tropes that got repeated over & over again, while others I’d be interested in seeing just… never came up at all? And in the process of me spitballing what those fics would look like, I accidentally tripped and made a whole cohesive AU. Oops.
(Also, I saw like one person say, “What if betas could cancel out other smells as well as control their own,” in an ask somewhere, and proceeded to come up with a whole… thing that lets betas get in on all the sickfic & presentation fun that comes with this AU. It may or may not take up a full page of my notes. If anyone wants the specifics, just ask and I’ll post them.)
Anyway, the main pillars that this AU is built on are:
1. There are several fics where baby!Jay finds Robin in heat, knows full well how incredibly dangerous that is, and risks his own skin to hide Robin until either the heat passes or (most often) until Batman shows up. I love all of these. You know what I haven’t seen even once? Baby!Jason saving Dick Grayson in basically that same situation.
2. There are not enough fics where Bruce is a beta who uses his scent-control abilities to further separate his identities! *shoves my “Batman is just as much a public performance as Brucie Wayne” agenda into the very meta of this AU*
3. I am very fond of the “Jason’s big comeback plan goes completely off the rails” trope, especially when it comes in the form of needing to save a member of his family. I’ve seen a couple A/B/O fics with this premise with Tim. I have not seen any with Dick.
(Oh look, mirroring!)
4. It is here I realized why rut/heat-sickfics immediately became my drug of choice, and hey, if I’m gonna be projecting I might as well go all the way with it. *hands Dick a small mountain of medical complications on top of everything else*
5. My love of deceptive appearances (and the fact I have only found one (1) alpha!RH!Jason fic where I actually liked his part of it) means I am always going to default to omega!Jason.
6. So have you considered: Pack Alpha (by default) Tim? Oh, Bruce is still the Head of the pack, Tim doesn’t get to be automatically in charge or anything. But being the Pack Alpha comes with a whole host of extra instincts, which is only complicated further by the fact that as far as the rest of Gotham is concerned, when Tim first took on that role he wasn’t connected to the Wayne pack at all.
7. Hey, what do you think this particular arrangement does to Damian’s relationships with the family? Especially if we assume that, say, Talia refused to tell Damian their designations because it would be incredibly foolish to get a bunch of preconceived notions about the Bats just because of their secondary genders.
Things spiraled from there. I have, like, 10 drafts of both of those “Jason rescues Dick” fics, a whole bunch of fallout from Dick finding out Jason’s the Red Hood (some humorous, some not very much not,) Damian having a real rough time of it at the manor…
Here are my favorite story beats.
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Dick actually initially rescued himself from the kidnappers, but then he was barefoot in Crime Alley with a chemical heat coming on fast while they looked for him. Dick yanks Jason down into his hiding space behind a dumpster before the kidnappers see Jason. Once the kidnappers leave, Jason offers to let Dick hide with him until the heat passes. Jason’s squat even has running water, even though it’s cloudy & cold.
Jason at some point says something about wishing he could make the nest better for Dick (who is obviously used to nicer things, but trying to make the best out of it,) which is when Dick remembers the emergency cash sewn into his clothes (Bruce is paranoid enough and you know it,) and gives it to Jason to go get whatever he thinks would be best.
While Jason is at the store, he sees the news about Dick Grayson being missing, an obviously distraught Bruce Wayne pleading for anyone to call with information. Jason remembers how Dick kept saying that his dad would be so worried. Jason remembers what it was like to sit up at night, wondering when or if his mom was coming home. Jason takes a few coins of his change to a pay phone to call the number, just to reassure Bruce that Dick’s safe.
Jason definitely panics when Batman kicks the door in that night, because as far as Jason’s concerned a very large, angry alpha just barged in on the omega Jason was trying to help (Dick even used the stupid Batman print towel Jason bought for him as the base of the nest, how is this fair?) Bruce sees a frightened, packless child ready to throw hands with the fucking Batman in order to keep Dick safe. Dick refuses to leave without Jason, because Dick’s already adopted him.
-
All of Gotham knows Jason was more Dick’s puppy than Bruce’s. Bruce is still the one who legally adopts Jason, since Dick is like, 16 at this point (Jason’s 10-11).
There’s a lot of whispering about why Dick completely disappeared from the public eye after Jason died. Dick so obviously adored the kid, and the few pictures people do get look so miserable, that most Gothamites get aggressively offended on Dick’s behalf if you try to suggest he had anything to do with it. He’s not even 20 and he’s grieving. Cut the boy some slack.
-
At some point after Tim becomes Robin, Dick needs to make a scene so he has an excuse to leave a party. After a quick check in to make sure Tim’s okay with it, a very drunk Richard Grayson proceeded to get on Janet Drake’s case about not appreciating the wonderful puppy she had waiting for her at home.
After helping him out of the room, Alfred came back to apologize for Master Grayson. “You’ll have to forgive him. It’s almost Jason’s birthday.”
In the greatest social blunder Janet ever made in her life (partially distracted by the wine stain on her new silver dress) she snapped out, “He’s still upset about that?”
(Fortunately for her, the room was loud enough that her voice didn’t carry far. But every conversation in a 20ft radius stopped dead. She did realize immediately and start to apologize, that came out wrong, oh god, she didn’t mean it like that!)
(Tim suggests Dick not antagonize Tim’s parents in the future after all.)
-
This is actually the verse that first made me realize I wanted Tim to ask Steph to be Robin in his place, because in this verse they’re not just losing Robin, they’re losing their Pack Alpha with nobody to replace him. That is so much compounding trauma just from one member leaving the pack, but if Steph takes Tim’s place as Pack Alpha before Tim’s dad makes Tim cut himself out of the pack…
-
(Cass & Alfred are both betas, for the record.)
-
Dick has a bad reaction to the inducers the second time Jason has to save him. By the time Jason hauls Dick back to the nearest safehouse, Dick’s such an emotional mess that the only way Jason could ever calm Dick down is for Jason to reveal his identity and repair their pack bond.
Dick knows it’s Jason, because you can’t lie through the bond.
(Tim shows up at some point in the night, and refuses to leave.  “He said no alphas,” Jason snarls.  “I wouldn’t be much of one if I left him alone like this with a stranger,” Tim snaps back.) (Dick drags Tim into the nest too as soon as he realizes Tim is there.)
-
Neither Dick nor Tim tell Bruce about Jason, because Jason made it clear he didn’t want Bruce to know. They do both proceed to hound Jason, trying to coax him back into the pack. Bruce is very uncomfortable with both of his sons being so determined to apparently befriend their newest rogue.
(I just have this delightful mental image of Nightwing dropping in on one of Red Hood’s meetings, saying he’s not there for trouble, framing it as an “I owe you for saving my skin” sort of thing. Before he leaves, Nightwing flashes his brightest smile at Hood. “By the way, Robin thinks you’re cool.”
Half of Jason’s goons die laughing as soon as they get over the shock.)
-
Damian picks a fight with Tim because (despite Talia’s best efforts,) Damian did pick up several assumptions about the different designations. Tim was the next-newest, so Damian could cement his place in the pack by beating the lowest alpha, surely.
Damian realized his mistake as soon as Bruce arrived. The pack Head is a beta. The Second is an omega. Which means Damian just picked a fight with the Wayne Pack Alpha.
And—since Tim is still breathing, speaking, and glaring daggers at Damian—Damian lost.
(Tim meets Damian’s gaze for 10 agonizing seconds before turning away with a lift of his chin; dismissive, just like Ra’s would do. Damian’s just like, “I am so dead.”)
-
(I have a bunch of other stuff that’s pretty much Hurt No Comfort of Dick dealing with his medical problems & also how this particular set up would probably affect his various assaults, and how the trauma from those would then compound back into those medical problems. It’s… it’s not good. It’s not fun. I don’t think anyone wants to hear about that.)
(It does give Jason the chance to hunt down Catalina Flores, and gave me the chance to type the line, “I don’t think you understand. I’m not his friend. I’m not his boyfriend. I’m not even a hero. I’m his son.”)
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pagesandpothos · 20 days
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The Sins On Their Bones by Laura R. Samotin
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I had no idea what to expect when I started The Sins On Their Bones by Laura R. Samotin. I saw that it was blurbed by several queer romantasy authors that I like, so I requested it from NetGalley on a whim and was happy to dive in. I'm so glad I did. It was not what I was expecting but it is an interesting and dark fantasy that I enjoyed discovering.
First of all, if there are things that could trigger you, be sure to read the content warnings before you start this book! This novel deals with some very heavy topics and the author has kindly included detailed warnings on her website (there's also some stunning character art for you to seek out while you're there).
The Sins On Their Bones is inspired by Jewish mysticism and folklore and is a high fantasy set in a world similar to Eastern Europe in the 19th century. Dimitri Alexeyev, one of the main POV characters and a former Tszar, has recently lost a brutal civil war to his vicious and newly immortal ex-husband, Alexey Balakin.
At the story's start, Dimitri is in hiding in the Free States with his closest friends and former members of his royal court: Vasily, his most trusted spy; Annika, who once led his army; Ladushka, his political advisor, and Mischa, his royal physician. Dimitri still harbors a lot of guilt (and other complicated feelings) about Alexey, the war, and the consequences of it. When Vasily brings word that Alexey is building an army to invade the Free States the group hatches a dangerous plan to finally defeat Dimitri's monstrous ex.
The novel cycles through three POVs. Along with Dimitri, we also get chapters from Alexey and Vasily. All three POVs are engaging and each adds different things to the story. Jumping back and forth through their parts of the story moved the plot along steadily while also filling in the needed backstory. Vasily's chapters, in particular, give a lot of clarity to the backstory which was one of the many reasons that his chapters quickly became my favorite.
The plot of this is fast-paced, dark, and full of religious and political themes. I also found it surprising and not predictable at all. Multiple moments shocked me and had me frantically flipping pages to see what would happen next.
The characters are also likable. Vasily, as I've already mentioned, is a fantastic character. Dimitri is sympathetic and has a nice arc of growth and healing. Alexey is a terrifying and well-written villain. Annika, Ladushka, and Mischa round out the main cast as dynamic characters with a lovely "found family" relationship (together with Dimitri and Vasily).
The Sins On Their Bones is a unique and very queer dark fantasy. I'd recommend it to anyone who enjoys classic tales of good versus evil in their fantasy!
Other Points:
Alexey reminds me of The Darkling from the Shadow and Bone trilogy.
There may be a Doctor Who reference?
There is an asexual character and a non-binary character along with the many same-sex relationships that the book features.
The whole book is delightfully queer normative with most of the main characters and several side characters being casually queer. There's no drama or trauma around their identities.
I also liked how the author wove Judaism into the world.
Did I mention how much I love Vasily?
The last 25% of the book is tense, action-packed, emotional, and surprising. It is almost impossible to put down!
The ending is satisfying while also setting up issues for a future sequel.
My Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Tropes/Tags: achillean, queer, Jewish fantasy, dark fantasy, Hurt/Comfort, found family
Spice Level: 🌶️🌶️/5. There are multiple sex scenes (various m/m pairings) that are "Open Door" and mildly descriptive.
Content Warnings: Full list from the author
If you liked this I think you will like The Sins On Their Bones: The Shadow and Bone series for the Eastern European inspiration. This is a much more gory and adult version though!
Links: Storygraph | GoodReads | LauraRSamotin.com
The Sins On Their Bones will be released on May 7, 2024, and is available for pre-order!
This book was made available to me in advance thanks to NetGalley! I received a free digital copy of this book in exchange for this review. The above are my honest feelings on the provided book.
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ROTTMNT FIC RECS PART ONE
I’ve been wanting to give Fic Recs for a while and then realized I could just do that anytime I wanted, plus I think Fic Rec Lists should be more of a thing because I’m always excited when I find them so without further ado, some fics I really liked that I think more people should read!
This Year We Lost Our Dear Brother Leonardo (Series) By Catatonicatnap- Don’t let the title fool you, it’s Post-Movie Hurt/Comfort and FULL of scenes that had me wheezing! Two one shots so far and 8k words in total for the series! Everyone is written so well and it feels like it could be a scene from the show/movie! I think about this one constantly tbh, I read it pretty soon after watching the movie and it was EXACTLY what I was looking for!
Donatello x2 By SpectrumWriting- Donnie accidentally splits himself into Two Donnies while experimenting: One who is terrifyingly pragmatic, and the other who’s highly and openly empathetic. Shenanigans ensue. Ongoing, 5 chapters so far, and 12k words in total! Hasn’t been revisited in a while but don’t let that stop you, it’s a fantastic read and I love the dynamics!
What’s Left Of A Candle Without It’s Ends By Catatonicatnap- Yes, another one by the same author, it’s good stuff, okay? Post-Season 2 Finale, Mikey gets artistic burnout because all of his work in the old lair has been destroyed. Leo helps. Some really good Mikey angst that I honestly felt. Could not imagine losing all my work over the years so honestly seeing Mikey get his happy ending was twice as satisfying! Completed with two chapters and 3k words in total!
How To Spruce Up Your Lair In 10 Easy Steps! By BigDamnHer0- A Post-Movie Healing One Shot in which the family takes up house renovating as a coping mechanism and, as the title suggests, spruces up their lair! I love the style it’s written so much, it’s honestly fantastic. All of the turtles get a chance in the spotlight and it’s just a great fic overall. 7k words and completed!
Carapace By SkeletalConstellations- I just binged this whole fic throughout yesterday and today and it was a wild ride that I now want everyone to go on! Donnie gets badly hurt and transfers his consciousness into a robot body he designed for himself. It brings up some complications and revealed secrets in the process. Ongoing, 16 chapters as of now, and 40k words in total! I’m very excited to see where this fic goes!
For What It’s Worth, It Was Worth All The While By Taizi- Another fantastic Post-Movie Hurt/Comfort fic that I think about constantly! There’s so many things about this fic that I love, especially regarding what happened immediately after they got Leo back, and honestly I think everyone should read it if they haven’t already. It’s so sweet! 2k words and two chapters in total!
Decompress By Tenka- More Post-Movie Hurt/Comfort because I really can’t get enough of it. This one follows Leo during the first day after preventing the apocalypse and it’s so GOOD! The dynamic are wonderful, a few scenes cracked me up, and I’ve reread it a few times since I first found it and it’s fantastic every time! It’s a one shot with 13k words in total!
Andddd that’s all I’m gonna do for now! Definitely gonna make more, both for ROTTMNT and other fandoms! Thought about making a Spoiler-Free Fic list for those still watching through ROTTMNT so probably gonna make that at some point? I’ll figure it all out later!
Hope y’all enjoy these fics, again, they’re all FANTASTIC so give them some love! If you got any fic recs that I didn’t include, feel free to add on or comment or send me an ask— whatever you feel like honestly, just nothing weird!
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jennagrinsoverml · 10 months
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Heyaaaa
Could you gimme some fic recs where Marinette works as a fashion designer and where we get a description of her work life?
Somewhat like The Other You; Satisfaction Brought It Back and Chasing the C/h/atwalk.
Thank you!
(Feel free to ignore if you don't want to, it's cool with me!!)
PS I love love love love love your fic recs <3
Oh, this is a tough ask to answer! A lot of the fics that focus on that aspect don't actually tag for it, and a lot of the fics that are tagged Designer Marinette Dupain-Cheng don't go into it in a lot of detail. (And sometimes fics did focus on that aspect, but I just wasn't feeling it and DNF.) Sorry if this rec list isn't long enough/you've already read these fics. But hopefully you are able to enjoy these!
be your july by Reiaji
Two years after leaving home, Adrien has a room, a loving found family, and a thankless job with Audrey Bourgeois, the only figure in fashion with enough clout to bypass his father’s blacklisting.
He also has a zero percent success rate when it comes to courting Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Audrey’s relentlessly brilliant protégé.
With two miraculouses in the mix, it all gets a little complicated.
Multi-chapter. This fic is a canon divergence where Marinette went to New York in Style Queen and Adrien leaves home/Gabriel when he’s legally able. This is after she’s returned and they’re both adults here. The love square has always been reversed, and each chapter focuses on a different side of the new square, showing how these changes have impacted the different dynamics. It’s absolutely gorgeous, and the way Adrien is so earnest and heartbreakingly insecure shapes the story and hurts in the best way. Also the identity hijinks asdfghjkl
Madame Snare by jettiebettie
“Sounds like a lot of work for nothing. She should take this as a sign to have a relaxing weekend with no responsibilities.”
“It's a lot of work she put her whole heart into. It wouldn't be right for it to go to waste,” Adrien whispers to him. The look on Marinette's face is enough to cause Adrien's own heart to ache. If anyone deserves the satisfaction and pride from a job well done, it's her.
“Too bad there isn't anyone else who can walk in those death traps,” Plagg says. Adrien hums in thought, tapping his chin.
“I could.”
One-shot. Chat Noir steps in to model for Marinette when her model has to drop out at the last second. This one is fun and full of romantic tension and just really well done. And, as Marinette's participating in a design competition/fashion show, we get to see that designer side!
The following fic is amazing and absolutely worth reading, but does feature sexual content, so minors beware.
Sommeil by @ao3bronte
She’d noticed the bags beneath his eyes even with the mask over his skin and had asked occasionally how he was feeling and it was always the same response. ‘I’m fine,’ he’d say, ‘I just didn’t sleep much,’ he’d say, ‘I’m just such a party animal,’ he’d say. She’d always let it slide in the past because she’s his partner and friend, not his mother, but it’s kind of getting to the point where something has to be done.
He yawns too often to be sleeping properly.
He smiles too much to be happy.
A MariChat Story
Multi-chapter. This fic is absolutely amazing! Marinette's development as a designer definitely gets a lot of showcasing and, as I recall, she and Chat bond over design. The relationship development is among the best I’ve read. This fic is definitely worth a read!
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ambitionsource · 9 months
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I found ambition when looking for Jack and Eric fanfic on ao3. I genuinely thought it was it's own show with characters who just happened to have the same name as my two bmw favs (I didn't watch gmw and for my own sake I probably never will because they do my babies; jack, eric and angela, so dirty, and I knew of certain things namely Lucas Maya Riley I didn't know enough for it to make me click). I had no clue what I was getting myself into but then I started reading. I'm so beyond glad I did, I've loved every second, every laugh and every tear. Ambition is the show I wished I had as a teen (instead I had glee... and Riverdale... that says enough...) but I'm glad I found it when I needed it, as I face the same challenges the gang has been facing in season 4 as they move on from triple a and onto life in the real world. I like to believe the stories we need find their way to us, the characters we need to meet come to us, thank you for bringing all the characters but especially Jack, Charlie, Nigel, Asher and Jade to life, joining them on their journeys throughout the show and seeing parts of myself - good and bad - reflected back on me has helped me in ways I'll never be able to put to words so I'll simply say thank you. That's the power of good writing, it leaves the reader changed, the writing in ambition is incredible. I've been invested at every step, hooked by every twist. Ambition feels so real, so poignant, the characters feel like real people, it is so true to life in all it's complexities and in all it's ugliness and beauty. It's raw and it's human and it's about community and hope and it's about flawed people who make mistakes but are still worthy and deserving of love and who are trying to do not only do their best but do good and it's the story I desperately needed. I just wanted to write a wee note to send some appreciation to you all for your incredible work and everything you do to bring us this brilliant piece of work.
If the multiverse is real there's a universe where I follow Dylan Orlando on yt and TikTok and debate and jokingly bicker with Nigel about Shakespeare and am mostly likely a techie, I'm kinda sad that I'm not in it lmao but I'm glad and so grateful in one where I found your story. Looking forward to the rest of season 4 and in time season 5, it's going to break my heart to say goodbye but that's how you know that it mattered, if it hurts to let it go.
{backpedaling to bmw for a sec, BLESS YOU FOR WRITING THE WRONGS. I loved the Shawn Angela storyline in season 1 and honestly it healed a part of me that bmw/gmw broke. Without a doubt ambition did it better. I love when they pop in and they have some of my favorite lines. Shawn absolutely kills me, to paraphrase ; "oh yeah I could be jack, authority baby" destroys me every single time. I adore his dynamic with the techies too and Jack. Speaking of Jack, I am on my knees praising y'all for Jack and Eric, so rarely are older couples in teen/ya shows given such depth and it's even rarer to see a queer relationship between two men in their 30s/40s. Their relationship isn't perfect, it's flawed and complicated and there is so much love, their journey so far has been beautiful. It's rare for older characters especially teachers and parents to be treated as three dimensional and as complex individuals, they're typically just the joke or unreasonable antagonist, not in ambition. They are just as complicated and as real as our mains and I love that}.
omg hi! hello!! welcome welcome to the ambition family! full disclosure when i got the notification in my email that i had an anon on this blog i always lowkey dread it's going to be something harsh -- because internet -- but this message was the absolute opposite and the most lovely of surprises. i don't even know where to begin, but you wrote such a thoughtful and packed note here so i wanna address it all in turn -- please bear with me for the long response!
(though if you've read all of ambition up to this point, you're probably used to my writing being way too long. ahaha.)
first off, i wanted to highlight, underline, emphasize in bold what you said here: "I like to believe the stories we need find their way to us, the characters we need to meet come to us..." because you quite literally put our mentality about creating the show into words (beautiful words at that). that is near word-for-word the approach esther and i have taken with this show basically since its inception when we started writing it for ourselves -- we never ever expected it would reach as many people as it has. and we think of it that exact same way, that those who are meant to discover ambition will find their way to it (and its never too late to dive in). so it's so special to me to see you say that, to reflect that sentiment back to us, as like... proof that it is true. this series has brought a specially strange and wonderful cohort of readers together and it is always amazing when another one pops in to make themselves known. so thank you, thank you, for taking the time out of your day to share that with us. and again, welcome!
secondly -- HELL YES TO FINDING YOUR WAY HERE BECAUSE OF JACK AND ERIC! as someone who admittedly has grown less than fond of bmw in the intervening years (does our version of ct show that a bit... oops lol), jack and eric as a duo are still who holds my heart because they were that iconic in the source material of yore. i typically just tag them because they are so central to ambition (though as you probably noticed, i don't tag bmw as a fandom -- at this point i wouldn't tag either show honestly since its so like it's own thing but i have to unfortunately lmao), but i had considered not doing so because i didn't want to clog up the jeric tag but now i'm so glad i do, because look what a lovely little happenstance of bringing you to ambition it fostered!!
(also, you're correct. don't watch gmw. i enjoyed my time with it back in the day, it's cute, but there are better shows and the fandom was absolutely horrible. basically everyone who was there will attest to that LOL. that's partially why we emphasize that at this point ambition really is its own thing, because it's so far removed -- and clearly you can vouch for that now 😊)
and thank you for your kind words about how we write jack and eric -- we 100% agree that adult characters on young adult dramas tend to be useless at best and downright vile at worst (hellooo mr schue, speaking of glee), and we wanted them to be fleshed out and flawed and featured just as much in their own right. plus not only do they have a great relationship with each other that we enjoy writing (enemies to friends to lovers done right, if we do say so ourselves), they have such incredibly important dynamics with others (lucas and isa being the obvious ones) that it's impossible to think of the show without them. so it is SO great to hear such specific praise for them from a reader! and i love that you shouted out a shawn line, he is an underrated gem in the ambition story world for sure (and allowing him and angela their due was very satisfying for us, yes, hahaha).
lastly, can i ask, are you a writer too? because the way you phrased this is absolutely gorgeous and i want to just. hang it up on my wall and hold it close to my heart forever: "joining them on their journeys throughout the show and seeing parts of myself - good and bad - reflected back on me has helped me in ways I'll never be able to put to words so I'll simply say thank you. That's the power of good writing, it leaves the reader changed, the writing in ambition is incredible. I've been invested at every step, hooked by every twist. Ambition feels so real, so poignant, the characters feel like real people, it is so true to life in all it's complexities and in all it's ugliness and beauty. It's raw and it's human and it's about community and hope and it's about flawed people who make mistakes but are still worthy and deserving of love and who are trying to do not only do their best but do good and it's the story I desperately needed."
like legit, that means so so much to us. it's so heartening to see readers engage with the material so deeply AND come away from it with exactly the themes we set out to explore -- community, love, complexity, humanity, faith, failure, rebirth. so thank you, genuinely, for taking the time to send us this wee little note. it is incredibly kind of you, and we're so glad you found this series and get to take the journey with us.
enjoy the rest of the season to come, and please feel free to pop in at any time ✨
-- Maggie
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ah-ga-seven · 3 years
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M. List
Requests are closed. However you can always send me an ask with ideas for stories/drabbles and reactions for the groups mentioned in my bio; though I can’t guarantee i’ll use them.
✔ - 𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚗  ✘ - 𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚍
multi-fandom/content related asks ✔
smut/angst/fluff drabbles, reactions or scenario requests ✘
✨ Latest projects: Sneaky Link - Choi Yeonjun & Naked Neighbor - Choi Soobin ✨
the rest of my works are under the cut.
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TOMORROW X TOGETHER
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Choi Yeonjun
Till The End of Summer (2020)  
Type: Series. (completed)
Genre: College!AU, Friends to Lovers, Drama, Angst, Fluff, Smut (skippable),
Synopsis: You and Yeonjun are caught up in a cat and mouse game because of unspoken feelings and endless pining for each others’ attention. With the summer break approaching and lots of college parties, will you finally get a chance to explore your feelings for each other; even though the world, Yeonjun’s family, past and reputation makes things complicated?
Sneaky Link (2021)
Type: Mini series (completed).
Genre: Smut (skippable), Angst, Fluff, Toxic!Jun, ft. second male lead Juyeon (The Boyz).
Synopsis: The story picks up after having met Yeonjun through a mutual acquaintance. You quickly bonded over your similarities and basically fell for him on the spot. As your relationship progressed you found out that you weren’t the only woman in his life, but no matter how hard you tried or whoever else tried to love you, leaving him was harder than you thought it would be.
I Was Wrong (2021)
Type: One Shot.
Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort.
Synopsis: Insecurities from your past relationship come back to haunt you and you stupidly reflect them onto Yeonjun who doesn't deserve any of it. Luckily he is quick to ease your mind and show you just how much he loves you with both words and actions.
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Choi Soobin
The Naked Neighbor (2023)  (I) (II) 
Type: two parted mini series.
Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst
Synopsis: Life is dull, until a new neighbor moves in across the street. His name was Soobin, a mysterious loner who lived in his own bubble and was incredibly hard to get close to. One night, as y/n was in her bedroom, she saw Soobin through the window, freshly out of the shower in full view, which accounted for a series of interesting events as she notices a pattern in his nightly routine. 
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Choi Beomgyu
02.32 AM (2020)
Type: One Shot
Genre: Smut.
Synopsis: Your boss is a dick, and your boss is Choi Beomgyu. After having worked at a night club for over a year, you’ve just about had enough with Beomgyu’s attitude towards you when all you did was make up for his incompetence on the job. Will all of that anger and tension finally lead to the unimaginable? 
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Reactions:
Choi Line Reaction to Nipple Piercings.
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NCT 127
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Jung Jaehyun
No More Pain (2021)
Type: One Shot
Genre: Angst.
Synopsis: The lingering wounds of your miscarriage have reopened. Now that you are broken up, an unforseen change in Jaehyun’s life has brought him back to your doorstep. Will he be able to fix you this time? Or will he fail just the same as before?
Fucking Up the Sheets (2023)
Type: One shot Genre: Smut, slice of life, fluff, a dash of angst.
Synopsis: You’ve moved in together after four years of dating, and are getting used to a new dynamic in your relationship. Your friends warned you it wasn’t going to be easy, but they didn’t tell you it was this much fun either.
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Solo Artists 
Christian Yu (DPR IAN) 
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Just Friends (2017)
Type: One Shot
Genre: Fluff, Smut
Synopsis: Despite mutual jealousy, Christian and yourself have never spoken about your feelings; afraid that it’d ruin your friendship. However, your usual movie night with your best friend escalated once Christian found the courage to test the waters.
Let Me Explain (2018)
Type: series (completed)
Genre: Angst, Fluff.
Synopsis: Being a choreographer for DPR sounded like a good plan, but developing feelings for your boss, Christian Yu, was not one of them. Unspoken feelings, miscommunication and Kim Yura, an upcoming YG artist who you work for make things especially difficult. 
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new beginnings
pairing: Kaoru Sakurayashiki x f!reader
wc: 2k
warnings: angst (not really idk); fluff; exes to lovers; not proofread
notes: first post!! I saw that there weren’t really a lot of writings for Kaoru and decided to take it upon myself to write some!! I hope you enjoy, and please do tell me if there’s a mistake anywhere or if I there’s a warning I should add
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“Are you ever going to skate again?”
Kojiro grins at you, handing you your food. You were on your break from work and decided to visit your old friend from high school.
“Kojiro you know why I can’t”
“It’s been a year I’m sure everyone wants to see you skating again!” You can’t blame him for his enthusiasm, it had almost been a year after you decided to quit skating due to breaking up with Kaoru. Before you quit you were known in ‘S’ as one of the top contenders, good enough to go against Adam, you had never gone on a beef against him since you had no interest to compete against someone like him.
“C’mon (Y/N)! You know everyone wants to see the infamous RIN again! After your sudden disappearance last year your fans have been missing you, there's even a new guy you can compete against!” You leaned in to cover his mouth, you didn’t want anyone knowing the name you were under while skating in S.
“Fine! I’ll visit but I’m not competing, I just want to see the poor soul that caught Adam’s eye.”
Kojiro smiled, knowing you, you’d probably compete either way, he knew that you’d been missing skating in S after he found you practicing. Your break up with Kaoru had changed their dynamic as you wanted nothing to do with him while he regretted letting you go.
The break up was because Kaoru kept insisting to go against Adam, you knew it was a bad idea, you had tried convincing him many times that the Adam he once knew was gone. Kaoru didn't like it as Adam was very dear to him, he had snapped at you and told you that you didn’t know him and that he’d rather break up with you than listening to your nonsense. You pitied the man, you’d heard what Adam had done to him a few days prior and wanted nothing more than to slap the man for hurting Kaoru.
“You won’t regret it! I’ll see you then RIN”
You hit him again, wanting to keep your professional life and personal life separate, “Say that name again out loud and I’m not going”.
Kojiro watched as you left the restaurant, sakura keychain still in dangling out of your bag like it had been so many years ago.
“You guys really are similar in that aspect”
Once you get home you sigh, your job has been taking a toll on you and you really needed a break. You look into your closet and see your skateboard, the only reason why you quit skating is because it reminded you of him, he was the one to teach you how to skate after all. The same man who decided to leave you to chase after the memory of the friend he once knew.
Making up your mind you change into your outfit and head down the same familiar path leading to the mine.
“Yo (Y/N)! Long time no see”
“You asshole! you call me by my name here and call me by my S name in public! Do you have a death wish?” You get closer to Kojiro to give him a piece of your mind, until you see four guys next to him: two boys who look like they’re in high school, an intimidating guy with clown-looking make-up, and a little boy who you think you’ve seen on TV.
“IS THAT RIN?!?” the redhead boy yelled, it caused everyone to turn to you, you were now the center of attention, mutters about the sudden appearance of one of the most known skaters in S.
“Who’s she?”
Compared to the redhead, the blue haired guy seemed like he was new, you assumed he was the rookie that Kojiro had mentioned earlier in the day.
“She’s a really well-known skater in S! she’s beaten a lot of people here, it’s said that she’s on par with Adam, but they’ve never gone against each other!”
“damn right and never will, I like not having broken bones thank you” you muttered, as everyone calmed down, they introduced themselves and seemed intrigued to see an old face.
“I came to see the new rookie everyone’s been talking about, I’m only here to watch though” everyone’s faces dropped, they seemed disappointed to not be able to see you skate.
“Then why’d you bring your skateboard hm?” Kojiro smirks at you, knowing that you’d come here to skate a little, even if it was just for fun.
“Fine, how about this? SNOW” you pointed at Langa and motioned him to follow you, “you’re coming with me, I wanna see why everyone is talking about you” you take Langa along and decide to skate against him in the course.
“Sorry I’m late, I forgot to charge Carla earlier today so she finished charging a little later than usual” Kaoru stood next to Kojiro to see why everyone seemed more excited. “Right on time Cherry! Look who’s skating today”.
Kaoru looked at the screen, it was you, he hadn’t seen you in a year and you never bothered to answer the messages he had sent you, not that he blamed you for that. You looked just as beautiful as he remembered, if not more, the way your hair flowed freely made you look ethereal, and your face seemed to glow while you were skating, an expression he had missed seeing from you.
He wanted to apologize, after the incident with Adam that landed him in the hospital he realized that his friend was gone, no semblance of him left. While in his hospital bed he remembered the words you had told him before he broke up with you. He knew he had no right to apologize now, but seeing you at S made him realize he missed you and wanted you back, if you’d have him of course.
Langa was surprised, your style of skating was different from anything he’d seen before, it looked complicated but you didn’t seem to be struggling at all. Due to him being distracted he hadn’t realized that you’d already crossed the finish line before him.
“That was good! You knew how to snowboard before learning how to skate right?” You asked excitedly, it had been a while since you’ve had this much freedom while skating. “Yes, how’d you know?”
“I’ve always wanted to learn how to snowboard! Your stance seemed similar to those in videos I’ve seen online!”
As you walk back to the rest of the group you see him. Kaoru’s hair got a bit longer but apart from that nothing seemed too different, he still had that unapproachable aura around him. He seemed to be staring at you but you refused to look at him in the eye, you still missed him after all.
“Long time no see (Y/N)” He tried reaching out to you but you didn’t move at all, “Don’t call me that here.”
“Right, sorry Rin”
It seemed that everyone around you was aware of the tense atmosphere, although nobody really knew of what relationship you and Cherry held.
As everyone headed home, you decided to stay back and skate a little, you didn’t know when the next time you were going to be able to skate again after all. That’s when you notice it, just a little behind you were Joe and Cherry trying to catch up to you. “Rin! I thought you weren’t skating anymore?” You didn’t need to turn to see that there was a smile on his face.
“Don’t you have any fangirls to be with?” You retort, speeding a bit to gain distance from them.
“They all went home, why? You jealous?”
“As if.”
“Cherry over here wants to talk to you.”
In all honesty, you’d forgot he was even there at all, if it weren’t for Carla telling him the angles once in a while, you wouldn’t even have noticed him. You were pondering whether you should listen to what he had to say, “He’s been all gloomy ever since he saw you”. You heard someone fall, assuming it was Kojiro you kept going, he deserved it anyway.
You and Kaoru skated in silence for a bit, the only sounds heard were the wheels of both of your skateboards. As you were the first to pass the finish line you stop, getting off of your skateboard and getting ready to go back home.
“So what’d you want to talk about?”
Kojiro looks surprised, he thought you hadn’t noticed him staring at you. Frankly, he wanted to apologize and ask for a second chance, he knew he was undeserving of it though, you only wanted the best for him, but he pushed you away.
“I wanted to apologize for before, I know you meant well, but I only pushed you away when you tried helping me. I should’ve listened to what you said.”
Although it was a bit short and awkward, you knew he meant it. To be honest, you don’t blame him, he only wanted to know what had happened to his friend after he disappeared and came back with a whole different personality. You would’ve done the same if a friend whom you considered family did the same. You knew that even though he had finally come to terms with the fact that the Adam he knew in high school was gone, he was still hurting. You understood all of this, yet it was still hard to forget how angry he’d gotten at you, how he went on and on about how you didn’t know Adam at all (even though you’d been there when all four of you skated together in high school), and how he couldn’t be with someone who talked ill about his best friend. You remember how he broke up with you through a phone call after being late for a date, how you had to show up in your friend’s front door with all of your stuff, in fear of going to Kojiro’s restaurant because he was probably there.
“You didn’t need to wait a year to apologize to me” He flinched, knowing full-well what you were speaking of. He knew he had messed up the moment he ended the call, but his pride didn’t let him go back to your shared apartment to apologize to you, and he assumed that you were probably packing your bags as he headed to Kojiro’s place to drink.
“I didn’t know what to do after I went back to the apartment with your stuff gone”
“Well, I can’t just stay in my ex-boyfriend’s apartment after he just broke up with me can I?”
There was a silent pause, you were basically ready to head back home, but decided to wait to see if he had more to say. “Alright, if you’re done I’ll be heading home now.”
He quickly grabbed your wrist, stopping you from leaving, “it’s late, let me take you home”.
You declined, Kojiro had already promised you to take you back home. At the mention of his name he looked confused.
“Kojiro left a long time ago though?”
You were surprised, looking around for the tall muscle-headed idiot, but Kaoru was right, he left you behind. You were really going to kill him this time, it was probably part of his plan so you could talk things out with Kaoru.
“If it’s not too much trouble, I’d be grateful if you did then” you offered him a small smile, you had to be nice to the person driving you back to your apartment.
The ride home was silent, all he could hear were Carla’s directions to your apartment. As you got home and thanked him for the ride he stopped you again.
“Can I have another chance?” You stayed silent, he took your silence as a rejection and started his engine to leave, but this time, you were the one to stop him.
“You still owe me a meal at Kojiro’s” He blinked, confused as to what you were saying. Then he remembered, he had made you a promise that every time you beat him in S he’d buy you your favorite dish at Kojiro’s restaurant.
He smiled, frown no longer on his face after the promise of a new beginning, “Of course, tell me when you’re free to get it”.
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friendofhayley · 2 years
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The February 2022 Multifandom Fic Rec is here! This month flew by too fast but also got me knee deep into a new poly ship that I'm obsessing over. Thank you to every content creator out there, y'all are our shining stars. This Fic Rec includes fics from the fandoms. Enjoy!
Geralt/Jaskier/Yennifer (The Witcher)
1. lilac and buttercups by @ivegotbreadinmypants | pre-transformation Yennifer is the best, she's as feral! as Jaskier - more heavy on the Yennskier - immortal Jaskier - star-crossed lovers - 5k
Jaskier has walked the Continent for decades. He's seen it all. Nothing, however, could have prepared him for the violet-eyed hunchback who shines with hurt and power.
He's never been so enamored.
2. Couples Therapy by TheBookMouse | modern AU - this is literally my dream - Geralt is a himbo malewife and Yennifer is a power girlboss, as usual - and they were roommates - 6k
Geralt and Yennefer have been in an on-again-off-again relationship for six years. When they start pissing off their roommate Jaskier with their arguments, he suggests they go to couples therapy. They go in a couple, they come out at the end as more than that.
3. lilacs and dandelions by @limerental | listen this fic got me in the feels, I literally had to stop and come back a week later! aaa! - they just love each other so much - found family with a pinch of pegging - slow burn bc of Geralt's self-esteem - 46k
“The Witcher believes you’re under a spell,” Yennefer said, conversationally, drawing a sip from her tea.
“I most certainly am,” said Jaskier to her in a warm drawl that Geralt recognized as the tone of voice he slipped into when flirting and frankly, things needed to start making more sense and fast before he gave into his impulse to do something rash and wholly unhelpful. Namely, chuck himself out the cottage window and into the sea.
4. our voices collide with each howl of the tide by dragon_rider | creature Jaskier - if you have body dysmorphia, mixed-race, and/or have low self-esteem this will be a rollercoaster ride for you, trust me - WINTER IN KAER MORHEN - found family - 29k
It reeked of slaughter, both fresh and old, as soon as he went through the portal and into enemy territory.
Soldiers in black armour immediately tried to take him down so he started Singing, reaching for the dormant power deep within him.
Sterek (Teen Wolf)
1. Driving Mr. Derek by I_JustWokeUp | author-made media to tell the story, so cool!!! - misunderstandings - a splash of Derek/Jackson - mutual pining - 9k
Derek no longer has a license to drive. So Laura steps in and hires fresh-out-of-college-with-useless-major Stiles Stilinski to drive him around.
2. And We'll Be Complicated by ingberry | selective amnesia - homophobic gnomes - magical Stiles - misunderstandings - 18k
Stiles already had his hands full with the case he was working on for the enigmatic Mrs. B. He really didn't need this too, but there was no changing the fact that he no longer remembered Derek Hale or anything connected to him. And no one could figure out why.
Drarry (Harry Potter)
1. A Touch Of Respect by donnarafiki | consent! is! for! everybody! including! kids! - established relationship - chronic illness - family dynamics soz - 23k
Five year old Scorpius isn't fond of people touching him, and he has a million reasons for it. However, his father is of the opinion that just saying 'no' should be enough without giving any of those reasons, but not everyone in his new-found family agrees.
2. It's No Great Mystery by agentmoppet | first Drarry Harry POV time loop I've seen! - angst with a happy ending - ghosts and portraits are his only peers, v cool - Harry has PTSD and depression - 57k
Who on earth decided that bringing back the Yule Ball for their eighth year would be a good idea? It feels like the worst day of Harry’s life, watching everyone get glammed up like the war never happened, like the last Triwizard Tournament wasn’t such a colossal failure.
And then it happens again. And again. And again.
3. Petals on the Breeze by @luna-lenaa | Fae Drarry - canon divergence - Ron is a Bad Friend - BAMF Narcissa Black - 125k+
After witnessing Harry’s return with Cedric’s dead body at the end of the Triwizard Tournament, Draco begins to question his father’s ambitions and beliefs. His mother reveals her, and, therefore, his non-human heritage soon afterward, and they realize they must go into hiding or suffer as all non-humans will when Voldemort comes into power.
They go to the only person they think might be able to help and also be too noble to use their situation against them:
Harry Potter.
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canary3d-obsessed · 3 years
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Restless Rewatch: The Untamed, Episode 24 part two
(Masterpost) (Pinboard)
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Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!
Arguing
After enjoying a tense  afternoon with Lan Xichen, Wei Wuxian comes home to enjoy a tense evening with Jiang Cheng. He pauses in the doorway as he takes in Jiang Cheng’s mood and decides which metaphorical mask he will put on to interact with his shidi. As someone who grew up with explosive people, I find this routine very familiar. 
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Wei Wuxian is always carefully playing a role as he interacts with the people in his life. Clearly he has read the classic sociology text The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life and is using it as a how-to guide. We see him do this same calculation over and over, in which he reacts internally to a situation, comes to a decision about what persona to inhabit, and then dons that persona. It’s a typical abuse survival tactic and...it is exhausting. 
This is why I think his leaving to be alone for a while in Episode 50 is a good thing. Being alone isn’t better than being with someone else, usually, but for Wei Wuxian, who is (by Episode 50) assured of love but not sure where he belongs in his own life, being by himself for a while is going to be the best thing for him. He can learn how to just be a person, instead of constantly trying to mold himself to fit everyone around him. 
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For the current tense situation, Jiang Cheng is polishing his sword, which, incidentally, is slang (in English, not necessarily in Chinese) for masturbating. Which makes their conversation about how frequently it needs doing kind of a hoot. “One time a month should do,” per Wei Wuxian. 
Jiang Cheng yells at Wei Wuxian--fairly, really--for being drunk all the time and not working on clan tasks. Then he responds to a hug attempt by shoving Wei Wuxian and knocking him down. JC asks WW if he’s too drunk to manage his spiritual power. Now, we know that he doesn’t have any spiritual power to manage, and that’s the main point of this interaction. But it also shows us something else about their dynamic. 
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This was just a quick hit, and when it takes WWX out, JC asks why he isn’t responding with spiritual power.  Which means that apparently *every* time Jiang Cheng gives Wei Wuxian a shove or a shoulder check, or strikes him--like he’s been doing constantly since Episode 3--he’s putting spiritual power behind it. That’s...really harsh. 
Jiang Cheng wants Wei Wuxian to fight back, and Wei Wuxian can’t; this is a big part of why their relationship breaks down. Casual blows loaded with spiritual power are part of their vocabulary, and Wei Wuxian can’t speak that language any more, even for basic defense. He’s literally not safe having simple interactions with Jiang Cheng now, because he’s secretly disabled, and Jiang Cheng is casually injuring him whenever he gets too close. 
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(more after the cut!)
This time Wei Wuxian has had enough, and raises Chenqing to Jiang Cheng, who immediately backs off. Jiang Cheng has seen that thing in action, not just on the battlefield, but in a small room full of whatever remained of Wen Chao when they were done with him. He takes this as a serious threat, and backs off, disturbed and puzzled and hurt.
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Jiang Cheng thinks the change in Wei Wuxian is coming from apathy, not from disability, and so he misunderstands it over and over.  Think of a friend saying “whatever, I’m sick of arguing with you, do what you want.”  Jiang Cheng is very ready to feel rejected, and not at all ready to look at Wei Wuxian’s behavior and try to actually understand it. 
Crying Over You
Wei Wuxian bails and goes to see Jiang Yanli in the ancestral hall, where she is polishing a name plaque. I turned the gamma way up to see whose it is and...I dunno. This character might be 江 (Jiang), I guess?
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Jiang Yanli is the only one of the trio who knows how to mourn properly, in that she is taking some time to sit and be sad. Mourning the dead--both ritually and just in the emotional sense--is as important a part of reclaiming Lotus Pier as the training of disciples and having good times on the lake.
She asks him about his fight with Jiang Cheng and he says he’s used to fighting with him. Jiang Yanli asks him if he’s tired of living there, and Wei Wuxian deflects and deflects, saying “it’s my home, where else would I go?” and that if Jiang Fengmian hadn’t adopted him he would still be begging in the streets. He says “no matter what happens, I won’t leave Lotus Pier,” which is not an answer to her question.
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It’s also not true. Like so many of his promises, it’s an expression of his wishes, with no space for the surprises real life is made of. He promises her that he won’t be reckless again, and asks her not to be mad at him. She says she can’t be mad at him, and then they share a flashback about Jiang Fengmian finding him on the street. This is a story, not a memory; Wei Wuxian can’t remember but he remembers her telling him about it. Jiang Yanli wasn’t there, in the moment. So this is her telling the story as it was told to her, probably by Jiang Fengmian. 
Flashback Time
In the flashback, picky salad-hating Wei Ying is out on the street, looking for food in a cartload of pretty okay scraps. I mean, yeah, skip the tomatoes, but most of the greens look fine.  
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He’s found and fed by Jiang Fengmian, who recognizes him and decides to take him in. 
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Within a couple of episodes, we will see Wei Wuxian paying this favor forward, saving someone he finds starving on the street. Just like Jiang Fengmian, he's going to upset and disrupt his family in order to help someone for whom he feels a deep connection.
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During this flashback we get a look at Jiang Fengmian’s sword, and it is a beauty. 
What is Love
As the flashback ends, Wei Wuxian is smiling, hearing Jiang Yanli tell this touching story of starvation and orphanhood. She tells him he was born with a smiling face, and that he never minds much about sorrowful things; no matter how bad the situation is, he is always happy. Way to reinforce that metaphorical mask he’s wearing over his deep, deep despair, sis!
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They talk a bit about Jiang Cheng’s bad temper.  Then Jiang Yanli says now that her parents are gone, they three are the closest in the world, and he responds by putting his head down on her knee and theatrically saying he’s hungry. But he’s crying for real, and so is she.
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Then he decides to ask her why people fall in love, basically, and claims that he does not have anyone in his heart. He says there’s no need to like a person that much, that it’s like “haltering your own neck,” according to Netflix. Let’s have a look at that figurative language for a second, and what’s missing from the Neflix translation. 
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What he says is (as near as my qhanzi.com skills can make out) “這不就是自己給自己脖子上套犁拴韁吗” which Google tells me means "Isn't this just putting a plow on my neck with a rein?" The part of the image that’s missing from Netflix subs is the plow, and the hard labor and animal servitude involved in pulling a plow. This isn’t a pro-romance image.
He’s clearly thinking about Lan Wangji when he lies about having no-one in his heart, but right now the yoke that he wants to escape has nothing to do with Lan Wangji. The person he’s harnessed to in a team, the person who he labors with, the person he wants to escape, is Jiang Cheng.  What’s chafing his neck is the promise he made, to stay and serve as one half of a pair, when he can no longer pull his weight. 
Busted
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Speaking of Jiang Cheng, he is hanging around outside the shrine, listening to the conversation. Wei Wuxian busts him, pointing out not that eavesdropping is bad, but that it’s bad for grownups. Jiang Cheng points out that he’s the master of Lotus Pier so he’s allowed to go anywhere he wants.
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(I love how he looks framed by this giant lotus behind him)
We Wuxian has another of those moments where he assesses the best approach to Jiang Cheng before responding. 
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Then he picks a fake fight with him about soup.  Yanli comes out and tells them both to grow up, saying that JC is losing his demeanor as clan leader. He jokingly fixes his already-perfect robe ad they all have a chuckle.
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Then Jiang Cheng reminds Wei Wuxian of his promise for the millionth time, and Jiang Yanli goes to make soup for the millionth time. As soon as the boys see that she’s gone, the smiles drop right off of their faces. They’re both performing their typical relationship dynamic for Jiang Yanli.
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Being Reasonable
The brothers repair to the main hall, and stand behind the lotus throne looking out of this complicated wall/doorway thingy, while they talk about Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan. 
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Jiang Cheng is being mature and sensible here, trying to give Jiang Yanli what she wants and also explaining very, very basic political stuff to Wei Wuxian, who is too caught up in his hate boner for JZX to want to think about the bigger picture. He also thinks that Jin Guangyao is a nicer person, but Jiang Cheng says that nice doesn’t matter.  
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Wei Wuxian is getting a full head of steam going about what a jerk JZX is, when Jiang Cheng makes him actually stop and think, by pointing out that it’s not for them to forgive or not forgive Jin Zixuan’s past behavior; it’s up to Yanli.
Wei Wuxian sees the reasoning in this, and starts to say he can’t understand why Yanli chose to like this person, but then he stops himself and goes through a rapid series of thoughtful, uncomfortable expressions. 
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Perhaps he’s realizing that he himself has chosen to like an infamously stuck-up, fancy cultivator, albeit one with no soup-related character deficits.
Library Time
The stuck-up cultivator in question is currently in the Cloud Recesses library, where he has snuck into the forbidden books room, against his uncle’s express command, for the purpose of helping Wei Wuxian. The forbidden books room is an entire basement floor of the library; it probably has more books than the not-forbidden part of the library, since the main floor needs space for the restrooms, circulation desk, and copy machines.
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(Did OP photoshop the Wangxian-in-the-Library porn picture onto Lan Wangjis’ book? She did.)
A couple of other Lans come along and see the main door unlocked. The lock is a big fish that probably uses magic for locking; it definitely doesn’t use a key. One of them steps in the doorway, glances back and forth without walking through, and does not check the secret door to the forbidden vault. Gosh, how did Su She and/or Jin Guangyao  ever manage to steal secrets from this highly secure location, wow.
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Lan Wangji hears the Lan disciple on guard duty say “don’t tell Hanguang Jun about this!’ and has a series of microexpressions that might indicate some kind of feeling about simultaneously being a rule breaker and a rule enforcer.  
Boat Time
We end with an idyllic scene on the lake in Lotus pier, where a new batch of disciples is harvesting lotuses and learning the opposite of boat safety. 
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Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian are having a good time, and seem utterly carefree; both of them are good at living in the moment, or faking it. 
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Wei Wuxian thinks, in voiceover, that it seems that it’s not so hard to go back to the old days. Uh...ok.
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Except he’s hiding a massive secret and these replacement kids are not the same juniors he used to hang out with, and he can’t actually teach them cultivation, since he has no socially-acceptable magic power, and everything is about to go to shit in the next episode. But you gotta take your joy where you can, I guess. 
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Note: There are a lot of questionable effects in The Untamed, but there are also beautiful scenes like this one, which looks like a Maxfield Parrish painting. Compare with the BTS below and you can see what a good job the VFX team did in bringing this lake to life. 
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staysuki · 2 years
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[major spoilers] SWEET LIKE CANDY | lost hooks
once again my most favorite time of the finales!!!
p.s. this is a long one!!
the kim brothers were only supposed to be wonpil and seungmin. i didn't know enhypen at the time but i found jake at just the right moment and saw that people say he looks like seungmin, so i was like—ok then! that being said, his character is sort of dispensable BUT i did like the trope i used for him (lowkey a bubbly airhead).
without jake, ryujin was supposed to be in a love triangle with y/n (and hyunjin?). but when jake got created, i loved his character sm and i figured i wanted to pair up a "boyish cool girl" with the "softie boy next door"
jake was supposed to be the other love triangle for y/n. but as i was writing him, he became too much of a "little brother" figure to y/n that i can't see them being involved romantically at all.
lia wasn't supposed to come back after chapter 6. i only made her as a fallout character—i.e. a friendship formed at the start of the school year which doesn't last long once you get to know yourself and other people in college. it happened to me, it happened to everyone. i wanted to portray that event. idk why i kept her around, i like to make characters suffer ig.
my other choice for the "eonnie" character is clc's yeeun, i love her look. i ultimately chose bibi because i love her music + she has the perfect amount of "spunky" look but can still look a bit soft.
something i've always reiterated: the art thieves heist wasn't supposed to happen. there wasn't supposed to be any felix and this was supposed to be just a fluffy enemies to lovers fic.
jisung was supposed to take jake's role of being the "second love interest" because jake became a little brother. but idk, things took a turn for the most complicated lol. i didn't mean to make him a criminal.
seungmin and hyunjin were supposed to have a fallout of friendship (something with misaligned morals) but ultimately, i figured that their friendship is too precious to be broken. (hence why i added ryujin in hyunjin's friend group roster). but even though i didn't follow through this plan, i still wrote in the 2jin friendship because i thought it was an interesting dynamic.
seungmin was supposed to be the bad guy. but i think i liked his character being "morally grey", scummy but not full-on. he passes through the ethical loopholes of morality.
nayeon was supposed to die. 🍕pizza anon stopped me last second in adding more angsty death. i almost didn't add her in the bonus chapters to "insinuate" it or at least, for people to form their own endings in that aspect. but i think with her character, it would be unsatisfying if she just gets yeeted into the void.
hyunjin and his father, i purposefully didn't write any cathartic confrontation between them because that's just life. i thought about it, but ultimately, no. i think with just those few words said between those lines, everything can be explained on it's own. (his father saying he supports hyunjin's decisions no matter what. hyunjin realizing that his father is also hurting, as pointed out by y/n. hyunjin still respecting his father's opinions by telling him he's gonna leave).
hyunjin's family life was supposed to be more complicated. his grandmother was supposedly going to take him out forcibly from school to "take care of him" but they'll force him to go to business school, which hyunjin doesn't want to do, so he'll end up trying to financially support himself and live his own life pursuing art. i scrapped this because hyunjin has had enough suffering. plus it would've stretched out the fic longer and i don't want that.
hyunjin's therapist wasn't supposed to exist. but during that time, i was talking a lot to my sister so i created the character in her likeness + i used it as a way to deliver the story through hyunjin's eyes. we gotta be smart with smau narratives lol.
y/n's foreigner friend was supposed to be seungmin (o.de) and there was supposed to be this whole schtick about having two seungmins but i think jooyeon fits the role of the weirdo friend better. i can't really imagine o.de being such a bro dude like jooyeon.
lia x jae was supposed to happen but the age gap was a bit too iffy. plus it would be contradictory of jae to date someone that young when he made such a big deal out of wonpil and bibi's relationship. bottomline is, i remember by characters' moral codes.
lia wasn't supposed to end up with anyone but i felt bad after making her suffer. hence i gave her "implied" ending in the bonus chapters. didn't feel like committing to it too much.
jooyeon was supposed to be a character to make hyunjin jealous but he became too much of a comedic gag that i just couldn't see any romanticism in him at all. worked out tho ig.
felix was supposed to double cross jisung and betray him. he was going to sell him out to brian in exchange for his own freedom but i think i wanted to put some importance in felix and jisung's bond. jisung grew up alone and was raised to takeover his father's scummy business, it's not unlikely for him to get attached to the first friend he makes. same for felix, kinda.
when felix double crosses jisung, he was supposed to die in the hands of jisung's men (in their company ig) but i didn't want felix to die. i loved his character so much, i gave him his own series spin-off (see you all in happy death day!)
i wanted to make a deeper connection between jooyeon and hyunjin but i just couldn't take his character seriously.
wonpil and bibi was supposed to be in cahoots with the saving-felix situation but i think the kims value loyalty too much. wonpil wouldn't do that. plus, i like the implication of having two lovers still keeping secrets from each other. ultimately, i'll leave it to the readers to imagine what happens when wonpil finds out.
there was supposed to be a cute twix bouquet scene in the airport but i don't think it would've been justified since they were still both in denial about their romantic feelings.
hyunjin and y/n wasn't supposed to end up together but after such a long ride, i figured why not? hence why the ending was a cliffhanger and they don't actually get together until years later (bonus chapters).
i thought about making nayeon a love interest for hyunjin but i valued their friendship to my heart. in hyunjin's shoes, it would've been too messy if i made him fall in love with nayeon when they've took him in like family. she's always been a big sister from the start.
i didn't really plan nayeon x jae from happening. it just did.
the story of hyunjin's parents is something i got from real life (not mine though). so i really wanted to center a lot of the themes around family trials.
y/n was supposed to be in gourmet cooking and hyunjin in digital arts. lmao idk why.
the whole art concept is something inspired from the kdrama "her private life" (one of my faves).
jisung wasn't supposed to reappear until bonus 3 (felix's teaser) but i missed him too much. i wanted to write him an implied redemption arc.
park jinyoung is jyp. sorry not sorry.
never planned seungmin x y/n from the start. everyone just started shipping them. y'all don't get what you want.
seungmin wasn't supposed to leave and become a lawyer. he was supposed to keep staying as a character and become a professional photographer but everyone ended up liking seungmin so much that i had to kick him out (y'all did this to ehaloj seungmin too, istg, y'all never learn).
all in all, this was supposed to be a fluffy high school e2l fic and that hyunjin and y/n's parents are baker rivals. romeo and juliet style but idk. we get what we get.
i probably forgot to mention other stuff but tumblr keeps messing up my typing so meh.
notes reveal: they are v v messy
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Go the Distance
Prompt: Hello, I absolutely adore your work 🥺😍🥺 your Sanders Sides angst is just so goooood!!! If you're up to it, I'd love to request a fic <3 Virgil has noticed [side(s?) of your choice; they're all good choices, I can't decide ;-;] has been distant and avoiding him and he just can't figure out what he did wrong but it's actually because [side] loves him and are trying to take some time to 'get rid of/push down their feelings' The angster the better but don't push yourself ^ Feel free to add or change whatever Have a great day and no worries if you don't do this 💜💜💜~@im-an-anxious-wreck 💜🖤
Thanks for the prompt babe you’re the best
Read on Ao3
Warnings: self-doubt, some lite™ angst
Pairings: prinxiety, background platonic dlampr because found family dynamics motherfuckers
Word Count:  4191
Virgil and Roman's relationship hasn't always been, well, great. But it's been getting better!
Or, at least, it was.
Listen, Virgil knows he and Roman haven’t exactly had the most…painless history. Virgil’s introduction to the series was Thomas telling Roman his dream was to get rid of him and, well, Roman was first and foremost loyal to Thomas. Then the whole…insult thing, ducking out, and the absolute mess of the callback wedding debacle, it’s not exactly been smooth sailing.
 But—okay, and maybe they’d been a little harsher about things than absolutely necessary, and maybe Roman got hit with the consequences of their fights more than Virgil, and maybe Virgil hadn’t exactly been…overwhelmingly accepting of all of Princey’s little ticks.
 But they’d still been talking!
 After the wedding, no one was on good terms with anyone save Patton and Janus—and wasn’t that the shock of a lifetime—and Remus and Virgil. Because they made the smart choice and decided ‘nope, fuck that, I’m out.’
 It was a good choice. You have any idea how high their scores are in GTFO now? The first rundown’s a fucking cakewalk.
 Anyway.
 They’d been talking! Virgil still doesn’t know exactly what happened right after—he saw the video, of course he saw the video, but Roman sunk right to his room and there’s a good twelve hours between that and the next time Virgil saw him—but Roman had come out and approached him!
 Probably because he was still hurt by the end of the video—which oof, Virgil does not blame him for, that was harsh—and his only options were Logan, Virgil, and Remus and Logan, um, didn’t want to see anyone for a while and Remus is Remus.
 Side note: those two have been getting on better. Something about their twin Creativity thing meant Remus knew that Roman was hurting bad before even Thomas did.
 But Roman did seek him out, asking him quietly if he had a moment, just a moment, to sit together. Virgil had shrugged and passed it off as nothing only for Princey to literally sit on the floor and not make a fucking noise. He’d frowned and poked his shoulder, asking if he was alright.
 “Perfectly fine, Dark and Stormy,” Roman had said lightly, “and I’ll leave you in a moment.”
 “But you’re…” Virgil had waved to his silent form. “…not acting like you normally do.”
 Roman had laughed. “And here I thought I’d never hear you say you missed me being loud.”
 “Now let’s not jump to conclusions.”
 Sure enough, a few more seconds had passed and Roman had gotten up, quietly bid Virgil good day, thanked him, and left.
 You bet your ass Virgil sunk straight into Patton’s room to ask hey what the fuck did you do to Roman.
 Patton had sighed and said that they’re not sure what to do now—‘they’ being Janus and Patton. Virgil, still recovering from the whiplash of those two being close had shaken his head and told them to get it the fuck together.
 If he sunk into Remus’s room to ask how to take care of Roman, that’s his business. It’s also his business if he tackled Princey in a hug two minutes later.
 So. Talking.
 Roman, for all he talks, doesn’t really say much. The few things he does say are easily passed off as jokes, off-handed comments that no one really pays much attention to.
 Not that anyone pays nearly enough attention to Roman, come on, guys, he makes it easy.
 But Roman talked to Virgil. He’d come in and sit and Virgil would sit next to him, trying to make sure his arm didn’t burst into flames from where it was pressed against Princey—the dude’s a fucking space heater, okay?—just to listen. Some of the time it was Disney rants—okay, most of the time it was Disney rants—but some of the time…
 “Virgil?”
 “Yeah?”
 Roman looked down at his costume. Today was repair day, unofficially called when Virgil’s hoodie ripped during the night and Roman’s sword cut through his sleeve. Virgil looked up from his own mass of fabric, needle stuck in carefully so he wouldn’t prick himself. He frowned at the look on Roman’s face.
 “What’s up, Princey?”
 “Do you think my logo looks bad?”
 Virgil blinked in shock. Roman didn’t look up and see the surprise on his face, instead running his thumb slowly over the patch on the costume.
 “What the fuck are you talking about, Princey?”
 “It’s so complicated,” Roman said, still looking down, “Logan and Patton have really simple ones. You have a pretty simple one.”
 “Janus doesn’t. Remus doesn’t.”
 “Yeah, but they’re…”
 Virgil frowned deeper, putting his hoodie on the ground and shifting closer to Roman. The prince didn’t even look up, still clutching his logo in his hands.
 “They’re what, Roman?”
 Roman swallowed. “…allowed.”
 A growl sounded from Virgil’s throat before he knew what was happening.
 “And you’re not?”
 “Hmm?”
 “And you’re not allowed, Roman?” Virgil gripped his shoulder. “Look at me, Princey.”
 Roman looked up. Virgil swallowed another growl at the despondent look on the prince’s face. Instead, he gripped Roman’s shoulder tighter.
 “No one,” he said firmly, “is allowed to tell you your logo is bad. You hear me?”
 Roman blinked.
 “I mean it, Roman,” he said, softening his voice a little, “it’s you. It’s yours, no one’s allowed to tell you it’s wrong.”
 “So that’s…okay?”
 “Yeah, Princey, it’s okay.”
 “Oh.” Roman looked back down at his costume. “Okay. Thank you, Virgil.”
 “Anytime.”
 Virgil would come to be astounded at how much he means that.
 Because, really, now that Roman’s talking? Virgil’s fucking shocked that they didn’t realize how much Roman actually has to offer.
 First off, Princey’s smart as hell. Sure, L’s the resident braincell but you can be big of brain and dumb of ass at the same time.
 If Logan tries to tell you he’s not a dumbass sometimes he is wrong.
 Roman can puzzle solve with the best of them. Do you have any idea how much brainpower it takes to write a story? A script? Understand how all those moving parts fit together and make sense as a whole? Virgil sure as hell didn’t. He spent one afternoon trying to help Roman only for it to end up as Roman explaining what he was doing and Virgil frantically trying to keep up. Don’t even get him started on how impressive the Imagination stuff is.
 “It’s my job, Fall Out Brood,” Roman laughs every single time Virgil expresses how fucking cool this is, “have to be good at something.”
 And Roman is. He’s good.
 Second: Patton may be the heart, Logan may be the brains, but no one is as good at reassuring him as Roman. Probably has something to do with the Creativity gig. Roman had asked, politely, if Virgil would be comfortable telling him what to do when he gets really anxious, whether to leave him alone, get him somewhere safe, get him things, what have you. Virgil had told him, bemused, only to be shuttled into somewhere that screamed safewarmcomfortableeverythingisokay the next time he had a panic attack. Roman, with the lack of shame truly becoming of a theatre kid, had no problems cheering him up by loudly declaring he would fight whatever shadowy figures plagued his little nightmare, swatting at the air with his sword until Virgil’s sobs had turned into giggles. He never made Virgil talk about anything if he didn’t want to, didn’t try to sit and work through things if they weren’t ready, and never touched him unless he’d gotten the okay. The first time Virgil told him he’d be fine with receiving hugs in the aftermath was the warmest he’d felt in years.
 Princey gives really good hugs.
 Third: Roman’s fucking funny.
 Remember the whole ‘smart as hell’ thing? Know how Logan’s funny as fuck too when he lets himself be?
 Virgil’s lost count of how many times he’s had to gasp out for Roman to shut the fuck up because his sides hurt too much from laughing. He ends up sprawled across the fucking floor or the couch or Princey’s bed, dying very happily but painfully because Roman won’t stop making him laugh.
 Most of the time it’s due to something they’re watching and Roman’ll notice some detail that he picks apart until they’re both howling or Virgil will make one sarcastic comment that turns into a full fucking bit for like…ten minutes. Roman will just keep riffing off of the smallest thing until he’s laughing too hard to keep going—not very likely—or Virgil will flail out desperately and smack him—much more likely.
 Princey said he makes fun of the things he loves.
 …maybe that’s why he doesn’t make fun of Virgil anymore.
 Virgil curls tighter around the pillow, clutching it to his chest. As he rubs his cheek against it, he grimaces. It’s too rough. It’s not warm enough. It doesn’t smell right.
 They’d been talking. It had been good.
 But that was before.
 Before Roman had cautiously approached Logan with an apology, the offering of a new planner for him, the promise to listen to him, hear him out, give him space to speak. Logan had accepted.
 Before Roman had opened the border between his and Remus’s side of the Imagination, sending a little puppy scuttling over to his brother’s castle with a note, a dagger, and a vial of acid. It returned as a kitten with a beautifully poisonous rose.
 Before Roman had finally, finally, after days of trying, opened the door when Patton knocked, letting him come inside so they could talk, about everything that happened since…well, ever. They hadn’t stopped hugging long enough to walk down the stairs.
 Before Roman had let Janus, Janus, take care of him.
 And now…
 Now Roman didn’t want to be in the same room as him.
 It feels as if they’re walking on eggshells around each other again, Virgil appearing in a room only for Roman to completely disappear, getting up and leaving a conversation entirely just to avoid him, Virgil knocking on Roman’s door only for Roman to shout that he’s busy, not to come inside, Virgil, trying, trying to figure out where Roman’s gone, what’s happened, only to receive the cold shoulder.
 A problem none of the other Sides seemed to be having.
 He clutches the pillow to his chest.
 Did he—did he do something wrong?
 Does Roman—does Roman not like him anymore?
 Maybe he shouldn’t have pushed so hard about talking to the others. Roman needed space, needed time, he didn’t need someone else breathing down his neck. He should’ve let Roman set the pace, listened more, been kinder to him when he needed reassurance.
 Maybe he shouldn’t have made Roman think it was his fault that the others were taking so long, or suggested that if he wanted things to get better he should try talking first. Roman had been taught by everyone else that things were his fault already, Virgil didn’t need to jump on that train too.
 Maybe he should’ve been kinder to Roman, less focused on making the others understand that they hurt Roman. Everyone in the Mindscape knew that Roman was hurt, Virgil should’ve helped fix that, taken care of Roman, not pushed the blame onto everyone else.
 Maybe Roman didn’t like what he had to say about Disney films. They were Roman’s comfort watches, the last thing he needed was for someone to cruelly rip away his enjoyment of one of the few things he could enjoy.
 Maybe Roman didn’t like Virgil’s way of taking care of him. Virgil never pushed, never did Roman the courtesy of asking, like Roman did with him, just assumed he knew best how to comfort someone and left it there. Roman might’ve needed more hugs, more time, less distraction, just something other than what Virgil gave him.
 Maybe Roman didn’t like how much Virgil ended up hoarding him to himself. Not letting him go to the others for comfort, just to work things out. Maybe he thought Virgil was just keeping him upset so he could hang out with him more.
 Or maybe…
 Virgil muffles his sob in the pillow.
 Maybe Roman needed or wanted him anyway.
 Maybe Roman was just waiting until he could get the comfort he actually wanted. Maybe he waited until the others were easier to talk to so he could go back to what he really needed. Maybe Virgil was just a placeholder until Roman could get hugs from Patton and Remus, talk with Logan and Janus, not him. Never him.
 Maybe that’s…okay.
 It’s not, it won’t be fucking okay for a long time, but one day, it will be okay.
 Virgil curses and throttles the pillow in his arms, wishing for it to be real, to be warm, to be a chest of white and gold and a splash of red, for it to wraps its arms around him and say it’s okay, shadow-ling, I’m here, I won’t leave you, shh.
 But it’s just a pillow.
 Has his room always been this cold?
 Have Disney movies always looked this flat?
 Has music always sounded this gray?
 Has Virgil always been this alone?
 He can hear them in the living room below him. He can hear Roman and Logan throwing quips back and forth, can hear Remus tackling his brother into the wall, and Roman protesting. He can hear Janus scolding Remus and checking to make sure Roman’s not injured, can hear Roman wave him off gently and go right back to verbally sparring with Logan. He can hear Patton laughing too hard, falling off the couch and begging the two of them to let up, let him breathe, can hear Roman coo and call him sweet, adorable, in that soft voice he only uses when he’s talking to someone he cares about.
 Can’t hear any of them worrying about where he is.
 Maybe it’s better this way.
 He got greedy, took too much of what was never his to take, what wasn’t given to him freely. He latched onto the first thing he thought was for him and didn’t stop to think that it wasn’t. He may think he’s been included in the famILY but he knows he’s still an outsider.
 He may be Virgil now but deep down he’ll always be Anxiety.
 So here he will stay, in the cold of his room, in the dark of his face smushed into a pillow that will never be real. He will stay and he will be happy.
 But not today.
 He sniffles and smears his nose on the sleeve of his hoodie, not bothering to pull away from the pillow long enough to wipe tears properly. His limbs start to protest as he hugs it tighter, tighter, tighter, but it’s no use. He can feel his own arms through the pillow. There isn’t enough—there’s too much give in the pillow. It’s just a fucking pillow but it’s not enough.
 Another laugh from downstairs and Virgil growls, burying his head in the pillow until he can’t hear himself think.
 Can’t hear anything but his own muffled sobs ringing in his ears.
 Can’t hear anything other than the thought swirling around and around his head that he’ll never be enough, that he’ll never be wanted, that he’ll never be anything other than Anxiety.
 Can’t hear the soft knock at the door.
 “Virgil?”
 The voices in his head must be getting pretty powerful because he’s certain he can hear Roman calling for him. He buries deeper in the pillow.
 “Virgil? Virgil, can you hear me?”
 Yes, he thinks, yes, I can hear you, which means I’m not crying hard enough.
 “Can I come in, shadow-ling?”
 Yes, he thinks, come in and make me forget that you don’t need me anymore.
 He must really be losing it because he thinks he can hear the door open and close again with a soft click, followed by a sharp intake of breath and a soft coo.
 “Oh, shadow-ling,” the imaginary Roman murmurs, “come here, little Stormcloud.”
 Oh, his imagination is being cruel to him right now because the sensation of warm arms around his waist and shoulders fucking burns. He buries his face in the pillow until he can’t tell which way is up anymore, not sure how he’s tricked himself into imagining Roman’s cradling him but too unwilling to let the illusion go.
 “That’s right, Stormcloud, relax for me, I’ve got you, I’m right here, shh, shh, you’re alright,” the imaginary Roman keeps whispering in that cruelly soft voice, “you’re doing great, shadow-ling.”
 Virgil wants him to be real. So bad he aches from it. But he knows he’s not.
 What happens next breaks his fucking heart.
 The imaginary Roman kisses him.
 It’s chaste, a barely-there brush of his lips against his forehead but it tears a whine out of Virgil’s throat before he can stop it. The imaginary Roman hushes him gently, pressing another kiss to the part of his cheek not buried in the pillow and it taunts him with how real it feels. The slightly chapped lips, the warm rush of air as Roman breathes, the light brush of his nose as he pulls away.
 It’s too much.
 It’s too much and he wants it to be real so badly but he knows the instant he pulls away it will vanish and that might just break him.
 Then he realizes the imaginary Roman is talking to him.
 “Breathe, Stormcloud, you’ve got to breathe,” he coaxes, “I know it’s tempting to stay buried in a pillow all day, but you can’t breathe properly like that, sweetheart.”
  No, no, don’t call me sweetheart, I’ll break.
 “Shadow-ling, Stormcloud, my darling,” the imaginary Roman says instead, “come on…”
 Well, now he’s disappointing imaginary Roman too. Figures. He can’t do anything right.
 “Of course you can,” the imaginary Roman pleads, “just breathe for me, shadow-ling, I’m right here, I’ve got you, you can keep your eyes closed if you need to, just breathe.”
 Another whine. Another kiss pressed against his head. The whine grows louder.
 “Shh, shh, my darling,” imaginary Roman murmurs, “breathe, come on, just—trust me, okay? Can I ask that of you, Stormcloud?”
 And goddamnit, this is why Virgil can’t do anything.
 Virgil trusts him.
 So he prepares himself for heartbreak and lifts his head.
 “Thank you, shadow-ling,” imaginary Roman—wait, he’s still here?—murmurs, rubbing his back, “there you go, now just breathe—oh! Oh, come here, lean on me, I’ve got you.”
 Having listed to the side horribly, Virgil lands against a solidwarmsafereal chest and—and—
 “R-Roman?”
 “Yes, my darling,” not imaginary Roman says, still kissing Virgil’s forehead, “I’m here, I’m here.”
 White-hot rage burns Virgil’s tears.
 He lets out a yell and shoves, not caring that it throws them both horribly off-balance, threatening to send him tumbling to the floor. He hears Roman cry out, trying to keep ahold of him, but he scrabbles and gets his hands around the bedpost and pulls.
 “Virgil—Virgil stop, you’re going to hurt yourself—“
 “Why do you care?” The rage coats his tongue. “You fucking left, you—you—you fucking didn’t care about me anymore, you decided you didn’t want me anymore and you fucking left so don’t try and care now!”
 “Virgil—sweetheart, I—“
 “Don’t fucking call me that!” He keeps his eyes squeezed tight. “You didn’t give a fuck about me when you left, when you got your fucking family back, you think—you think you can just waltz back in like you didn’t abandon me?”
 “Virgil—“
 “Because you did, Roman!” Virgil blindly shoves at where the prince was before, knocking him into the wall. “You fucking left me as soon as you got the others back like I—like I never did anything for you and now you—now you can’t even look at me.”
 “I’m looking at you now.”
 Virgil laughs.
 He throws his head back and howls until his chest and throat ache.
 “You didn’t give a shit when the others started talking to you. You just fucking up and abandoned me like you never cared about me in the first place. You replaced me with them or—or abandoned me as your placeholder and I’m fucking hurt, Roman.”
 “I know.”
 “Then why did you do it?”
 Silence.
 Virgil’s heart stops.
 No.
 No, no, no, no—
 He fucked up.
 He fucked up so bad.
 Roman left.
 Roman’s not here anymore.
 Roman left again, he made Roman leave, he—he fucked up so bad, he shouldn’t have yelled, he’s fucked up, he hurt Roman, no, no, no, no—
 On instinct, his hands hook into claws.
 Only to be caught by warmsolidreal hands and brought to something soft.
 “Don’t,” comes Roman’s softsaferealhurt voice, murmuring in his ear as he holds him still, “don’t scratch, sweetheart.”
 “Don’t—“
 “I know, I know,” Roman says immediately, “you said not to call you that. I’m sorry. I’m so, so, sorry.”
 …what?
 “I didn’t realize I was hurting you,” comes the voice again, “that’s no excuse, I know, but please, Virgil, I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to abandon you.”
 Virgil swallows. “What the fuck do you call it then?”
 “I didn’t want to push my luck.”
  What?
 “You were being so good to me, Virgil,” Roman murmurs, oblivious to the internal struggle Virgil’s currently facing, “so kind, so supportive, that I…I realized I wanted to ask more from you. Things I had no business asking. And the longer you kept on being you, the harder it was to resist the urge to push and risk shattering everything you’d let me build with you.”
 “What—“ Virgil swallows— “what the fuck did you want?”
 Roman stills in front of him. With his eyes still shut, he can’t tell what’s going on, but when Roman speaks next his voice is hoarse.
 “Before I ask,” comes the whisper, “I want you to know that you have every right to say no. You can push me away, shove me out of your room, stay angry at me for as long as you want. I’ve hurt you, badly, and I have no right to ask this of you. I want you to know that. That I’m okay with you asserting that right.”
 Fuck, Princey.
 “…what do you want?”
 A pause. Then a soft rush of air, right on his face.
 “May I kiss you, Stormcloud?”
 Oh.
  Oh.
  Oh, no.
 “R-Roman?”
 “That’s it,” Roman murmurs and oh, his mouth is right next to Virgil’s, “that’s what I want, shadow-ling.”
 He shifts a little until Virgil can feel Roman’s warmth.
 “That and everything that goes with it.”
 “Why—why did you leave? I-if that’s what you wanted?”
 “Because that would mean to push,” Roman says immediately, “and the last thing I wanted was to push you away. I thought if I could…rein it in, control it, I could…I wouldn’t hurt you.”
 A soft chuckle.
 “Look how well that turned out.”
 “But the others—“
 “I needed Remus to tell me what was going on,” Roman says wryly, “Janus to point out that I was okay in wanting something, Patton to help me figure it out, and Logan to kick my ass into doing it.”
 “To…to ask me?”
 “Yes, Stormcloud,” comes the whisper, “to ask you.”
 “And if I say yes?”
 He can feel Roman’s lips turn up.
 “…then I’ll kiss you, Stormcloud.”
 “Are you really here?”
 The question bursts out of him before he can stop it, immediately biting his lip in reprimand for letting it.
 “Open your eyes, Virgil,” Roman says softly, “look at me.”
 He shakes his head, not wanting it to be imaginary. Not now, not after this. Roman squeezes his hands.
 “Look at me, Stormcloud,” he whispers, “look at me.”
  Fuck it.
 Roman smiles at him, real and warm and soft and here. He squeezes Virgil’s hands again and takes the smallest step closer.
 “I’m here,” he says, wrapping Virgil’s arms around his neck, “I’m right here, shadow-ling.”
 He’s here.
 This won’t fix everything. But it’s one hell of a start.
 “Ask me again.”
 “May I kiss you, Stormcloud?”
 Virgil shakes his head. “Not like that. Ask me properly.”
 Confusion dances on Roman’s face before realization hits. His smile widens and he brings a hand to Virgil’s head. Virgil clutches Roman tight as he gets dipped into the prince’s arms. Roman leans forward until his mouth almost catches Virgil’s.
 “May I kiss you, sweetheart?”
  “Yes.”
 General Taglist: @frxgprince @potereregina @reddstardust @gattonero17 @iamhereforthegayshit @thefingergunsgirl @awkwardandanxiousfander @creative-lampd-liberties @djpurple3 @winterswrandomness  @sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes  @iminyourfandom  @bullet-tothefeels  @full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind @demoniccheese83  @pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious  @firefinch-ember  @fandomssaremysoul  @im-an-anxious-wreck  @crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch  @enby-ralsei  @unicornssunflowersandstuff  @wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams  @averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb  @cricketanne  @aularei @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws @cecil-but-gayer  @i-am-overly-complicated  @annytheseal  @alias290  @tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance @whyiask @crows-ace @emilythezeldafan @frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires @cyanide-violence @oonagh2 @xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx @rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734 @triflingassailantofmyemotions
 If you want to be added/taken off the taglist, let me know! 
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daverygalskisbff · 3 years
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Pidge & Lance friendship/sibling dynamic headcanons?
hi! thank you sm for asking this!! i didn't think I'd be able to come up with anything but it was surprisingly super fun to do, I really liked writing this. I'm sorry it took so long to get out tho, I've had to spend like 90% of my time on the yearbook recently and i couldnt really do much else :/. but the yearbook is now finished and so is this hc list! i hope you enjoy it :)
let us begin 
Lance and Pidge! 
they didn't actually become friends until after the whole voltron debacle started 
we saw that lance had tried to befriend pidge back at the garrison, but (obviously) she had never been interested
like, at all 
so lance just kind of assumed she didn't like him and gave up after a while 
they're mostly, like, acquaintances, for the first few weeks of joining voltron - it takes pidge a little while to warm up to lance bc she thinks he's just an annoying party-boy, and lance thinks pidge is kind of full of herself
once they realise how much they have in common, though… 
all hell breaks loose. more or less. 
they play a lot of video games together
at first they only have killbot phantasm one, so they give themselves new rules and "multitask levels" to make it more interesting after they both inevitably master the game 
this usually involves having to defeat levels by themselves while the other person throws things at them 
the two of them also make sure to spend at least an hour every space mall-visit searching for new games, and pidge likes to code things for them to play when they run out  
lance has a list of nicknames for all of their teammates, but he makes a point to have some variety in his pidge names for the different occasions that he uses them in 
this list includes but is not limited to: pidgey/pidgeon (self explanatory), pea (short joke and green joke wrapped in one), birdie (for when he's trying to be nice), and stripe (after the evil gremlin in the movie gremlins)
pidge isn't a big fan of music, but she hates to work in silence, so lance will come hang out with her while she works and just talk about whatever
she doesn't fully listen most of the time, but lance doesn't mind because he never really talks about anything important 
their other teammates aren't exactly used to this dynamic, tho 
keith, staring at lance as he explains in detail the "sith lord jar jar binks" theory: how do you… focus? with him doing this? 
pidge: it's kinda like a white noise machine. I just tune him out
lance: first of all, racist, second of all- 
pidge also uses lance as her main source of ideas for low-stakes projects to work on on the side 
she even lets him help her make them, a privilege gifted to absolutely no one else (except hunk, but lance maintains that he doesn't count bc he's an engineer and makes stuff anyways) 
so far, they have made a (semi) functioning hoverboard, lightsabers (they can't hurt people, tho, much to pidge's disappointment), and a grappling hook
their most recent project is trying to figure out how to recreate spider-man's web shooters 
lance: i need to be spider-man, pidge. i was born to be spider-man. i can feel it. 
pidge: y'know lance that's actually super interesting, because I distinctly remember that spider-man actually made his own web shooters, he didn't just sit on the counter and watch as his friend did all the work 
lance: …
pidge's laptop has a bunch of kinds of entertainment downloaded onto it - music, movies, like three tv shows - and once lance learns this he refuses to let it go until he gets her to agree to watch something with him
one of the shows she has just so happens to be criminal minds. lance clings to this like his life depends on it 
lance, over comms: hey baby girl i need you to work me some magic 
pidge, trying to hack into a galra base: leandro martin mcclain I swear to god I am going to release your location to every sentry on this ship and I am going to watch them kill you over these security cameras and I am going to laugh 
needless to say, they make fun of eachother a lot 
every day. about everything. 
lance, dropping a spoon on the floor at breakfast: :/
pidge: lmao look at you. outstanding coordination. they really should've taught you how to juggle at clown school 
lance: first of all fuck you, second of all it was called performer's camp and i bet they wouldn't even let you in
in true sibling fashion, they never let eachother forget anything embarrassing. no matter what. 
pidge: (is quiet for more than three minutes) 
lance: hey remember that time at the garrison when a pretty girl asked if she could borrow a pencil and you panicked and said you didn't have any because you can't spell
pidge: I'm telling shiro on you that was one time- 
however, despite all of their teasing, they really do care about each other a lot
pidge is the first to hug lance when he steps out of the healing pods, and lance will bend over backwards to cheer pidge up on a bad day 
sometimes literally. never tell your found family siblings that you're a trained acrobat, kids.
lance organises little sleepovers with allura for days when pidge is feeling particularly dysphoric, so they can do traditionally "girly" things like paint their nails and put on makeup 
pidge doesn't usually do that sort of thing on a regular day, so it's kind of like a nice reminder that she's allowed to be feminine if she wants to be
originally a rule of these sleepovers was that everyone had to do one thing that pidge asked for before the night ended, but they had to scrap that rule after… complications, in one of lance's dares 
(in defense of allura, it had been over 10,000 years since she had her ears pierced, and it's not like she could see what the (professional) beautician was doing at the time, so really the fact lance ended up in a healing pod with an ear infection wasn't even her fault. the piercings do suit him, tho, so she maintains she did a very good job regardless)
the three of them usually end up cuddling in a little pile when they finally go to sleep 
lance has a sixth sense about knowing which bodily function pidge is neglecting at any given time 
he calls it his Big Brother Eye, and only realised he had inadvertently made a book reference when shiro praised him for his culture 
lance: big brother sees everything, pidgeon
shiro: oh, you've read 1984, lance? 
lance: um. is that like an album or something. 
anyways, lance tends to make frequent stops to pidge's room and/or lab to remind her to eat, drink, sleep, etc. sometimes all three at once but only in emergencies. 
pidge rarely actually wants to take a break, tho, so lance channels his best "my sister had kids when i was ten and i have been bargaining with small children for almost a decade" voice to convince her to leave 
lance: okay birdie, i know the coffee tastes good, but y'know what would taste even better? a sandwich. maybe even some ice cream. you feel like ice cream today kiddo? 
pidge, hopped up on three days of no sleep and expired space coffee coran thought it would be safe to give her: (stares directly into lance's eyes) where are you
lance and pidge both get the most homesick out of the team, so sometimes they'll just chill together in silence for a while. lance reminds pidge of her brother, and pidge reminds lance of one of his sisters, so their company is like an extra bit of comfort. they help each other a lot when it gets really difficult 
my askbox is still very much open for requests, btw, so if anyone has any ideas feel free to send them in!
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lizacstuff · 3 years
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Your thoughts on the epi? And the trailers? I'm loving the in love Edser! We've waited so long for this!!!
This episode was so fun and fluffy! I don't know about you, but I am enjoying the tone during this second season. A lot. I don't care how stupid the audition process was for the spot in the school, it gave us some very good comedy and a lot of USTy, sexy, flirty goodness.
And like you, I also love in love Edser!
Thankfully this episode was dominated by Edser, and with Kiraz at Granny's house we even got some alone time. The supporting characters were used to good effect this episode, Engin and Piril were the funniest they've ever been, Kerem and Pina served to poke Serkan about his mentoring style, and it was actually nice to have an excuse for Ayfer and Aydan to share a storyline again.
(more under the cut)
However, we'll start with Burak and Melo. UGH. I mean I love Melo and Elcin has done a really good job of showing Melo's heartbreak and trying to hide her melancholy behind her usual bubbly personality, but I really can't stand that it's over such a dud of a character. I know I'm a broken record here but Melo deserves better than this fool. Honestly, he's such a bland sad sack I don't really get why Melo loves him, Eda wants to be friends with him and Ayfer thinks he's so great she wants him for a nephew-in-law. Well, for Ayfer the only qualification is that he's not Serkan, so never mind that question.
However, maybe there's some hope? Before this episode it seemed certain they were heading in a romance direction, but the way he told her she was like a sister to him? Is there really any coming back from him saying that after he remembered kissing her? On the other hand we're barreling towards the end here and there's not really enough time to introduce anyone new for Melo (and no indication from spoilers that they have) and I'm pretty sure Ayse and the writers want to give her a romantic happy ending (although I'd be fine if they didn't and instead had her go off and do something entirely for herself like go back to school or travel or open a shop). So we'll see, because even with the sister line they left some room open because Kerem was the one who suggested he say that (it wasn't necessarily his own idea) and with Melo he seemed to be coming from a place where he assumed he had forced himself on her and she was angry because she didn't want it. Which we know is not true, so might be a misunderstanding that leads to something more. Anyway, I guess we'll just have to endure whichever way they go.
Personally, I like the Serkan-Kemal father storyline. I think it's a good way to add a bit of drama in the waning episodes, gives Serkan a bit of an identity crisis, interestingly mirrors his own situation with Kiraz, and it just makes sense with everything we know of the characters. Because were we seriously supposed to believe that someone as sniveling as Alptelkin sired Serkan? I mean Serkan is the epitome of BDE, he has an inherent charismatic and commanding presence. Sorry to the actor who played Alptekin, but he didn't really have any kind of presence, however Sinan who plays Kemal, does. They've done a great job of casting, because it just feels true. I believe Kemal and Serkan share genetics.
However, even before that storyline starts in earnest, it's interesting that Serkan was being a big baby, not wanting his mom with a man she clearly loves. I wish Eda would have pushed back at him a little more when he was going off that Aydan shouldn't pursue love at her age! Does he think he'll be out of love with Eda by the time he's in his 50s and 60s? Of course not! I'm guessing Eda, though, is just letting him blow off some steam and come to accept the relationship on his own terms. Don't get me wrong, though, after all the meddling Aydan's done with Edser, she more than deserves to have Serkan's opinion of Kemal negatively impact her!
Loved that Kiraz and Can found out first that Kemal is Serkan's father! Cat is out of the bag, Aydan, you can't make a deal with a 5 year old, lmao. It put a nice ticking clock on the whole thing and gave us some good comedic moments where Kiraz is speaking the truth and everyone thinks she's just really fond of the dude. Hee.
Also I enjoyed the Aydan and Ayfer moments. To be honest, I also used to enjoy their true friendship moments when we got them, like when Kemal first appeared and Aydan was freaking out and needed Ayfer and Seyfi around her, and when they were trying to hunt down Deniz after the fake wedding turned real. After so much animosity, it was nice that Ayfer recognized that Aydan was truly in distress and needed a friend and they were able to actually talk. Also we got some (mildly) funny comedy with the two of them and the school lady. Speaking of Ayfer, thankfully she finally realized some consequences to her actions in pushing Burak at Eda. She hurt Melo! Glad she finally opened her eyes to see what should have been obvious to her (Eda never saw him that way, and Melo obviously did) and apologized to Melo. I'd like it if she would apologize to Eda as well, (and Burak deserves an apology as well because she most definitely gave him false hope) but since Eda wasn't influenced by her we probably won't see that.
Switching to Eda and Serkan this episode gave us lots of good stuff. This was a great episode for showing us where each of them stood. Eda is terrified of getting hurt and trying to hold him at arm's length even while he clearly is inching back into her heart, and Serkan is dreaming of their future together, and taking every opportunity to tie them together. How much did I love Serkan admitting he was poking at Eda, and doig things to make her angry, just so she would talk to him? Interesting that he's doing it and love that he's being honest and admitting it to her. One of my favorite relationship dynamics between them is around "talking." In the very beginning Serkan did a lot of complaining about how much Eda talked and how she never shut up, but starting around episode 18 all he wanted was for Eda to talk to him. And this is just more of that. The thing he wants most is to talk to her.
Plus watching domestic Edser is just so much fun, I could watch their full grocery shopping trip in real time and be perfectly happy, lol. At the age of 35 it's time that Serkan learn how to do a few things for himself, I don't care how rich he is, so it's nice that we see him evolving a bit as he embraces the dad role.
The jealousy gambits, even as mild as they are, are getting pretty eye roll worthy since Eda and Serkan are living together, care so much, and obviously are still so hot for one another. It's a bit more understandable from Serkan since Eda is the one creating the barrier between them, but are we really supposed to believe that Eda is jealous of Deniz when Serkan is so obviously in love with Eda and planning their future together? Especially when he clearly can't stand Deniz and tries so hard to avoid her? I suppose it's to show us that Eda is in a jumbled state, her head is trying to keep space with Serkan, while her heart wants him badly and is scared he's going to take her rejections seriously. Even so it was quite irrational for her to get angry at Serkan for having lunch with Deniz when she ordered him to leave with her. Poor Eda is in emotional turmoil.
It was hard to tell with shaky translations, but I guess Serkan claimed to have been injured while rescuing Eda and that's how he talked his way into her bed? Impressively done, Serkan. Love it because it meant we all got to wake up to snuggly family, snuggling together. This gave us another glimpse into Eda's psyche, she wakes up first, and is clearly enjoying it and feeling at home in his arms, until the sleep clears enough and her head realizes she's not supposed to be enjoying it. But once again Kiraz knows how to handle her parents and their complicated relationship beautifully and fixes everything with a pillow fight. That is one smart cookie.
One of my favorite moments of the episode is when Eda is trying to convince Serkan to go to Aydan about the school. Eda knows that her big eyes still work on him, and they did. He still can't say no to her, another one of my favorite relationship dynamics of theirs. I'm super glad some things never change. Speaking of their visit to Aydan's, how great that they went to meet the horse without a name as a family, and then Serkan finally came up with the perfect name. Definitely a star.
Love, love, love that Serkan and Eda beat Engin and Piril when it came to the 'how well do you know your spouse' game. They may have been separated for 5 years, but they both have a genuine interest in the other, so they remember things, and they always made a much more compatible couple than Engin/Piril who have absolutely nothing in common. Of course I adored all the fake married hijinx this gave us, not to mention all the opportunities for Serkan to touch, kiss, and hold her. SO MUCH UST!
The heart-to-heart on the bench was well done and it finally gave us Eda opening up and telling him what's been holding her back. She's scared. Of course she is, the poor thing. Serkan might have thought he was doing it for her own good both times, but he ripped her heart out twice (not even counting all the heart ripping he did during amnesia) how could she not have fears? Of course she's afraid! Whenever she lets herself love him and be loved by him, it's ripped away horribly, and often in ways that feels like it's him doing the ripping. She can take into consideration the circumstances, which she has or else he wouldn't be anywhere near her, and still need time to be sure she's not just setting herself up to get emotionally demolished again.
For Serkan's part all he can do is keep being there, being honest with her, and showing he's in it for the long haul, which I think he's doing and which is why they are where they are at the end of this episode.
Engin and Piril's dance practice is probably the first Engin/Piril alone scene that I thought was genuinely funny and fully enjoyable. I can't think of another... message me if you think there is one, lol. Elsewhere, I saw some folks saying that Engin and Piril should have won the dance competition, because they actually danced, and Eda and Serkan didn't. LOL, you think? I'm pretty sure that was the point. That Eda and Serkan didn't really dance, all they did was get up there and turn their sexual tension and intense smoldering towards one another up to eleventy and won because it's that powerful.
It's sort of a metaphor for this whole series. Sen Cal Kapimi is 100% powered by their chemistry. Of course they can win any competition by just pressing their bodies against one another! They can turn a ditzy Turkish summer romcom that probably should have gone 13 eps into an international hit that's going on 50 episodes, just by looking at one another.
I'm glad that the school officials overheard their conversations and dismissed them, any organization that requires this of the parents, is going to be a lifelong pain-in-the ass, lmao. Also it was good to see Edser and EnPir make up by the end.
Now, on to that ending. I'm glad the subject of the tatoos was brought up, interesting that Eda kept hers until a few months ago. Also interesting that she moved it... can't blame Serkan for wanting to see it. Was that one great seduction line, or what?
I join with everyone who thinks it was a slightly awkward place to leave the episode. We only have 13 (probably) episodes this season, and we've only had one kiss so far. That was definitely a moment for a kiss. Part of me thinks they were going for the cliffhanger, what will Eda do? Will she kiss him or slam the door in his face? Tune in next week to find out! Except that audiences have to wait no time at all for the fragman and that makes any such cliffhanger moot. So what's the point? Have her pull him in, kiss him, and the show can end with them passionately making out and the door slamming with the camera outside the house.
Oh well, it is what it is, and we can only hope they pick up next week right where they left off. As for the fragman, obviously they are fully back together for this episode which means she lets him in to hunt for her tattoo. (please oh please give us that internet ozel because I don't think I can stand being online in this fandom if they don't. Thankfully I'm traveling next week and will be too busy to spend much time on twitter.)
As I said in another ask, I'm not surprised Serkan is barreling them straight towards marriage. When you know, you know, so why wait? Once they emotionally commit to one another, they need to just get married. No waiting for psychos to interfere, family to meddle, or tragedy to strike!
Seriously can't wait for a full episode of them together and Serkan figuring out how to propose. I'm also looking forward to the Kemal/Serkan stuff, it will be interesting to see how he reacts once the news sets in... should be a great episode!
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papers4me · 3 years
Text
Fruits Basket Manga Review (ch 90-91)
Since I discussed the first few pages of ch-90 that contains kyo & tohru in my previous preview, this one will only be kyoko’s story.
Kyoko’s story brilliantly explores the effects of unhealthy domestic environment on children without the use of the zodiac curse as a metaphor for abuse. My first-reaction of kyoko’s story is the following:
I really enjoyed how kyoko’s descend into darkness was explored & how the psychologically-informed writing of her behavior was depicted.
I was troubled by how Katsuya was presented as the magical solution to all her problems. Kyoko was saved by romantic love in a more basic writing than machi. Both girls just needed a guy to listen to them vent abt their family issues once & tada~ they’re in love.
Kyoko’s story made me realize that Arisa is just a more modern & healthier kyoko.. The only difference is that Kureno didn’t save Arisa. She herself changed gradually due to kyoko & tohru’s influence.
1) Kyoko’s descend into Darkness:
Kyokyo told kyo that she was already “out of control delinquent before she got to middle school”, “ fell into the wrong crowd”, “ enjoyed beating innocent ppl”. subtly citing the influence of “delinquent peers” & the innate desire be noticed at home. I’m bad, notice me! love me, listen to me!
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There are some elements in her story that faintly reminds me of yuki & strongly reminds me of kyo:
Kyoko’s parents gave her a treatment similar to “ yuki’s parents”: cold, neglect & devoid of love. Her dad, similar to kyo’s dad, felt ashamed & disgraced by her.
Kyoko similarly to kyo was angry, full of self-loath & self-destruction. However, kyo was never violent like she was. I believe kyo’d have turned like her if he didn’t have Kazuma to discipline him with love, care & attention. Hence, we saw kyo carry on a code of “ not beating girls, or ppl who aren’t hurting them, or don’t know martial arts”, like Arisa or the student council guy whop loves yuki.
Kyoko’s mom similarly of kyo’s mom talked abt the dad venting his anger on her after being pissed off with kyoko. So, a hint of domestic violence between husband & wife.
Kyoko described herself as “ made of shattered glass”. Tohru once said both kyo & yuki are very sensitive. yuki blocks the world behind the prince mask & kyo puts on the annoyed attitude to push ppl away from hurting him.
Society thinks that “delinquent/bad ppl” are always happy with what they’ve become. Satisfied with their destructive choices. When in most of the times... they’re as bewildered & confused as the community around them..
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I really don’t blame the teachers for being defensive. Teachers aren’t supposed to be “life-coaches” or “saviors of students”. That’s sth the educators with their research gush abt & what society demands & what families wish for. The fixer-teacher!!!! Teachers are ppl teaching a subject, doing a specific job, underpaid & overworked most of the times, also, they come from various backgrounds, beliefs, & sometimes even if they meant good & wanted to “ save” a student, they aren’t equipped with the suitable psychological training. Yeah, there are ppl for that in schools, but so many students with lots of issues. Also, let’s be real, we love kyoko cuz she’s the “epic mother of tohru, we grew on her teachings thro out 3 seasons” but if you meet a loud, delinquent, gangster head, violent chair throwing student who rarely comes anyway, would you wanna deal with them?
2- Katsuya “ the magical savior”:
so, why did teacher katsuya helped a screaming delinquent? cuz he IS interested in kyoko. He said so. He approached her, talked & tried to help cuz he intended to “never let her go since he saw her honesty” ~ romantic? maybe to some.. I find it weird & creepy. him eyeing her & getting interested & approaching her & earning her trust. It is true that he has no intention of hurting her or forcing her & he DID save her in more ways than one. But why is this all wrapped in romance. He DID flirt with her intentionally many times from the moment he saw her until then.
If Im being honest, had he not be her teacher (trainee or not), & had she not be very veeeeery young! I’d be enjoying his flirting so much. He’s so smooth, playful & cool (not looking head over heels in love) which is normally such a fun dynamics. She was so head over heels, tho. Finally found someone who noticed her tiny efforts “ drawing eyebrows”, someone who listened & someone who didn’t forced her to do her “duties”. She tells him (her teacher) that she is ditching classes & he’s okay with that~ not lecturing, not urging. why? cuz He only wants HER. she comes to see him in the lunch break everyday. school? classes? that’s her choice~ not his business~ In a way, Katsuya is intentionally made not morally correct. Why? cuz a good moral adult wouldn’t be in love with a middle schooler & would care for her future as an independent person from him. He must be written with intentional desire to NOT care for morals or right or the likes. Yes, he later helps her to study & graduate but ONLY when that is HER choice & she made it ONLY to catch up with him. To cleanse herself & be “ like the other girls” . Kyoko deemed katsuya “ good person” &  herself “ bad person”. That’s why she was motivated to be good to catch up with him since she can NO LONGER see him everyday in lunch break. He fixed that. How? teach her in the weekends & provide better chances to flirt since he’s no longer a teacher & she’s his student. The issue is not teacher-student love... it is adult-kid love!! but hey~ they’re cute (they’re written to be, so they are) so it’s cool ( it isn’t at all..eww).. oh the dilemma that is Takaya-san’s love for weird big age gaps where one is an underage teenager...
Furuba’s has this big theme of “ love doesn’t heal or save”. yuki took tohru’s love & grew up by himself. Kyo’s love for tohru didn’t save tohru, she was scared to be in love & forget her mom. Tohru made the decision to be free from her past, herself.  Tohru’s love to kyo made his trauma 10 times more complicated & he acted based on his love for her & decided to leave her. It wasnt until he decided to face his trauma, past & bio dad by himself, that he accepted tohru’s love. Only two characters were totally saved by love:
Machi: has the excuse of being solely created to be yuki’s reward for acknowledging platonic love for tohru & everything abt her is rushed & made as a lighter copy of all yuki’s issues to quickly create shared grounds for them to connect. Machi needed to vent her issues to yuki once & all her issues were never brought back to the service again. She was happier, calmer & healed.
I expected more for kyoko. She IS a bigger character than half of the zodiacs! but she just needed katsuya to listen to her & she was in love & her issues solved.
I don’t deny that it IS true that sometimes all we need is someone to listen to us. Tohru herself said so & even yuki said it to kyo. But Even if someone listen to us & we love them, the issues that troubled us dont magically disappear until we face them or do sth abt them aided by those who love us. Kyo’s issues remained even with his love until he faced them, tohru’s too!
Katsuya:
had off-screen issues with expressing himself. He said that he loved kyoko cuz she was “honest abt her ugly feelings” while he pretended to “humor & please his dad”. He gave a wonderful speech to her parents abt the expectations of parents on their kids & the refusal of their “human weakness” again furuba’s main vision. Unfortunately, this was followed with confessing, marriage proposal & kissing her on the lips all while the whole issue is abt kids/ parents exceptions of middle schooler/ neglect & his own acknowledgement that she’s minor while he was “in love”.
Like the author wants to tie kyoko’s issues & katsuya’s issues so bad & present him as her ONLY chance for normal life. Kyoko was just repenting & understanding that her actions got consequences which is an epic moment! but romance triumphant & saved the day~ yay~! marriage!
The story would’ve been better romantically if it was given time for kyoko to “ grow up” just like katsuya himself said when they were at the beach. He said “ grow up, middle school is not the world”. He continued meeting her but never confessed & never crossed the line despite the flirting. But he KNEW what he was doing “ i never planned to let you go since I saw you”. He was cementing his place as the ONLY one in her world.
Had kyoko grew up, saw the real world, kept taps with katsuya, he helped her broaden her world, then they’ll marry without needing her dad to sign papers, then that would be a better love story than this.
Side Notes:
The writer didn’t shy away from confessing that pairing Katsuya & kyoko is problematic & stated it in canon (kyoko called katsuya “pedo”). She did the same with Arisa & kureno (Arisa thought the age gap is big & hana questioned if kureno is a married man). However, making the story acknowledge that as an issues doesn’t make it less uncomfortable, but at least, I respect when writers do what they plan to do regardless of fans. even if I dont agree with the writer. It’s way better than when writer becoming fans toy/ fans pleaser.
Still, couldn’t the author state that kyoko was held back few years in jmiddle school & failed & repeated school years? like make her i duno 17 or sth... this would at least lessen the big age gap... but no~~~ kyoko is what? 14? ... -_-’.
You bet this won’t change a bit in the upcoming anime spinoff abt kyoko. Just this year an anime abt an adult man & his high school love interest that he pursued stubbornly was highly popular & my real life friends were gushing abt “ him finally winning her/ being respectful & only kissing her lips once or sth/waiting for her to “catch up” with him”/ consent age differ in X & Y countries..I’m not dictating my beliefs on anybody or any country or saying my way of thinking is the just way. I’m saying, Personally, I think, there are better romantic stories than adults & kids couples.. The fact that this trope of (adults & kids romance) is still popular even today is sad~~
I dont mind HUGE age gaps as long as BOTH characters are adults. If any of them makes a crime, they’ll be held responsible by the law. & sometimes the younger adult is the one dominating the relationship. but “kids or teenagers” can’t. They’re easily groomed & manipulated, so it bothers me when a love story between an adult & a kid is portrayed as  “equal”. it isn’t.
I’m not judging whoever loves such trope in “ fiction”. it IS fiction, & as long as you don't pursue a real kid/teenager in real life, you can like whatever in fiction. moving on~
kyoko’s delinquent life is well-written & if done right, would send a powerful message of being able to start over. But the romantic love aspect will steal the spotlight by (a) directing uncomfortable hate/disgust towards the story & hence all the discussions will abt the “pedo” aspect. (which is fair). (b) Perceived as so lovable romance since katsuya is the prince who to saved the neglected princess which is a trope that has stood thro time garnering lots of support & attention always, so all the discussion would be abt their “cute romance”. (which is fair since the author weaved elements that endeared their romance, such as: cute nicknames “miss no-eyebrows”, him giving her space, home & respect, saving her from the streets & poverty & having the most endearing tohru”. So, yeah, the romance will be the center of attention regardless.
I like katsuya’s character type in fiction generally: the flirty, mischievous & a bit cool guy who is so aware he’s wrong most times & plays his cards smart to not get caught red-handed. He’s a cooler version of shigure. It’s just the blatant fact that he’s been planning to “get” a middle schooler from the first glance & that she is wayyyy young for this, that is bothering me so so much~~ T_T.
I wont expect the anime to change their age gap cuz it is the essence of their story that she’s a lost kid with no protection against the world & he’s the savior providing everything at once!~ Remember kyoko went on to be the savior of an entire clan tho tohru~ So in a way, katsuya saved the sohmas by saving kyoko....
“ i’m like a stray cat that he looked after instead of chasing away”. kyoko with katsuya is like kyo with kazuma! >_<!. When kyo met tohru, he wasn’t a stray cat, most of how he dealt with her was cuz he already knew her & was tormented by remembering kyoko’s death & feeling guilty towards tohru’s constant pain. That’s why when kyo started falling in love with tohru, he unconsciously stopped pushing her away little by little & just wanted to be with her until akito said “ i’ll hurt her” that’s when he totally gave up.
the way katsiya appeared in the right moment to save kyoko from her dad~ oh the drama. XD
Hospital Discharge & chase. like mom like daughter~ but thank God the kids got a more balanced love story.
Comparing kyoko/katsuya to Arisa/kureno in the broad writing of their romance without diving into details: (a) I hate the age gap in both but at least Arisa is older & nothing happened until she graduates & become an official adult. (b) Kyoko/katsuya are more fleshed out & if you forget the age gap,m their dynamic is so cute & endearing. (c) the love at first glance, never meeting afterwards yet still sickly in love to the extinct of screaming made Arisa/kureno shallower. (d) now that I saw teenage kyoko, Arisa is really just her clone! I hate that this steals from Arisa’s uniqueness. (e) both couples ate ramen in their first meeting/first unofficial date signalling their blooming love.
I’ve said this more than once, but I was the high-schooler that fancied adult independent men growing up, I never pursued anyone tho cuz I understood it was a crush even tho I’m pretty sure my “ *_*” face was clear to one or two, but I’m definitely lucky none of them tried to woo me or influence me. Now that I’m a grown woman, I think back & laugh at my self. I fancied them cuz they were independent & mature compared to the silly high school boys, which is what those men are supposed to be (adults) & what those boys are supposed to be (living their young age). lol. Still, I wish I found someone somehow to be my life’s partner since then, it would’ve made my life less lonely~ T_T.
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takaraphoenix · 3 years
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spuffy for the ask game since you have a spuffy story coming up on your schedule?
Yes, yes I do! And sure can do! ^-^
I love Spuffy. It has been one of my absolute favorite ships from all fandoms for many years, but ever since I also read the comic continuation, I gotta say, Spuffy is the favorite ship. The most beloved of all ships I've ever sailed.
They are the embodiment of hero/villain enemies turned lovers.
And they have my favorite m/f dynamic; he's full of snark and bastard energy, but oh is he soft for her.
And they also have that thing that makes me love ships the most; it's a ship between my two favorite characters from that franchise. If a ship unites my two faves, it just instantly gains more of my love, because it means I get them both, at the same time, happy, with each other.
I love the way their dynamic slowly changes over the seasons.
I have a soft spot for early bastard secondary villain Spike, he is hilarious and Buffy's annoyance with him is delightful.
And then he has his literal oh moment of realizing he's into Buffy and he doesn't know how to handle it and he handles it in the whackiest, weirdest way possible. I mean, role playing with Harm? Having Warren build a sex bot? The incredibly awkard stalking?
But things get more serious and less of a comic relief "look at that poor bastard" when Spike becomes one of the people Buffy trusts. One of the people she trusts the most, I'd say, considering she leaves her mother and her sister with him, repeatedly.
Season 5 is such a good Spuffy season in that Spike becomes a Scooby by sheer force of will. Somewhere in my mind still lives an alternate spin where the Scoobies do escape Glory in their RV and just... have a merry roadtrip with each other.
And sure, it's easy to dismiss Spike - easy for Buffy and the other characters. Because he's a vampire, and not a fancy one with a soul like Angel. He might lust for Buffy, but it can't be love, right.
But, and that's what makes me love this ship so much, it is love, even without a soul. (It's also what makes me love Spike so much, because he is such a complex character with so much growth who was already so much more than just a vampire even without his soul.)
Him bringing flowers after Joyce died, not to somehow score points with Buffy, but because he genuinely liked Joyce and they had genuinely bonded with each other. Because he mourns, even without a soul.
And, the biggest evidence as to him genuinely loving her - he stays, when Buffy dies.
If it were all misplaces lust that he blows out of proportion, he wouldn't have stayed. Buffy was dead and since Willow, Tara and Xander didn't tell him about wanting to resurrect her, he had no reason to stay, no reason to believe she would ever be back.
But he stayed in Sunnydale. And not just to mourn and get drunked and fucked up, the way he did when Dru dumped him.
He was a Scooby. For months, he worked with them to protect Sunnydale, to fight demons, to help raise Dawn. He took on so much responsibility and for the first time truly became a hero, a good guy. He fought for the good cause, not to impress Buffy and score points with her, not out of any misplaced reasons. Solely because she was gone and he wanted to honor her legacy, he wanted to do what she would do if she were still there, he wanted to protect those she had died to protect.
I have a very complicated relationship to season 6's Spuffy. It's very self-destructive, on both parts. She's only using him, he becomes her bad coping mechanism with being brought back to life. And he knows that, but he can't stay away. Personally, I think all of Seeing Red was a huge mistake and especially after the build-up of what they had Spike do for Buffy so far without a soul, it... it felt like a whole different writer with entirely different ideas just grabbed the script and hijacked it at that point, to be quite frank. I do think that at that point in how Spike's character was established, it was OoC. Even if you try to argue that their relationship had already been a mess of mixed signals, with "I hate you, you disgust me" being followed by mindblowing sex, I still think that this was pushing things too far.
But it brought us Spike going to get his soul, so I digress.
And then comes season 7 and season 7 is just peak Spuffy. Season 7 is my happy place. Gods. The way Buffy cares for him, the way she protects him, from the others, from the First, from himself. The way she stands up for him. How she keeps choosing him.
The way they banter and raise "the children" together once he feels better.
And when everyone in an act of being incredibly, impossibly, forcibly OoC just turns their back on Buffy and also stabs hers, repeatedly, he is still there. He tells them off the way I was yelling at my screen too and then he found her and comforted her and simply held her.
And then he died. Not for her, but because he actually was a hero. And it wrecked me. (The best thing AtS ever did was bring Spike back to live, imo.)
Let's skip season 8 to the end, where he comes in as the knight in shining armor, having done his research on how to stop the apocalypse unfolding once again and how, even though she had just hooked up with Angel, she immediately starts fantasizing about Spike as soon as he's in the room? I swear, season 8 is a freaking mess.
But season 9... really hurts. That she'd come to him, of all the people she knows and loves, she comes to him when she doesn't know how to keep going, when she considers running away and raising a child, being a family. He is the person she thinks about. And he is the person she comes to for back-up when she decides to have an abortion. Whether she goes to a happy place or a dark place, in both scenarios she chose him over everyone else, to have him at her side.
And season 10 finally gives us the canon romantic relationship between them. Finally, they actually get together and it is so good. The way they communicate with each other, the way she reassures him that she chose him and no one's going to come between them, tells him that he is a good man and also finds for herself that she is not just happy in this relationship, she also finds that she loves herself more, she likes the person she is when she is with him (she literally says that).
Buffy has a freaking mind-journey, traveling into Spike's mind and seeing and feeling just how much he loves her, how regardless of what else is going on, he loves her.
They are... They are everything I always dreamed they could be in a real relationship - they have their problems, but they talk them through, they reassure and support each other, they're domestic and cute, they make each other better, not by changing the other but by supporting the other and giving each other the chance to be their best self.
When they actually are in a real relationship, neither of them is jealous. And both have shown in the past to be prone to jealousy. But when Buffy tells Spike that Angel is her past and that he is her present, he accepts that and he doesn't feel the need to be a jackass around Angel. And when Spike tells Buffy about his could-have-been Dylan, Buffy doesn't get jealous over her, no, she decides they should go to Dylan's art-show and she gets along splendidly with her.
Season 11 is an overall rough ride, I mean, they are literally locked inside an internment camp for nearly the whole season. But the Spuffy keeps you going, because they are so strong together, they make this work, together.
The season ends with them kissing, with Buffy saying "I love you" for the very first time and all Scoobies being together and it's... the picture-perfect ending to Buffy the Vampire Slayer that I could have ever imagined.
(There is no season 12 in my mind. That was Fray-centric garbage that did a disservice to Buffy as a character.)
Send me a ship and I will explain why I do or don't ship it
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