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8aji · 1 year

Text

too busy saving everybody else to save yourself. // s.s.

to think of a life without him filled you up with such sorrow you thought you'd let yourself drown just to be with him one last time. — or, an account of the events that transpired after the night of august 14, 2003.

pairing. shinichiro sano x baji!reader

wc. 18k

tags/cw. MDNI, angst with happy ending, fluff, hurt/comfort, best friends to lovers, baji!reader (reader is baji’s sibling), manga spoilers, shinichiro lives, anxiety/panic attacks, smoking, mentions of death, characters cry a lot, mentions of head trauma + hospitals + needles + blood, reader gets called 'nee-chan' a couple of times but other than that its pretty gn, very suggestive (one make/out sesh), takeomi is clowned a lot + please let me know if i missed anything!

a/n. its finally done sob i spent so much time polishing this as much as i could and what was supposed to be a 1k drabble mutated into this lmfao but all in all this fic is my baby, my child, and i love it so so much i just hope y'all will like it as much as i do !! a massive thanks to @tetsutits for betaing and to @mosviqu for letting me run the storyline through her !! hope all of u enjoy lots n lots !!

m.list ˖ tags ˖ byi/dni

One step, one blink, one breath, one step, one blink, one breath; like on autopilot, the pattern repeated itself over and over again. You could feel it beating inside your skull; the pounding of your heart resonated throughout your body, acting as the fuel behind your every move.

Your blurry gaze amplified all of your other senses, sending your brain into a downward spiral of emotional overwhelm; the loud keyboard clicking, the obnoxious chatter, the drinking and munching of coffee and donuts, all of it made you want to tear your ears off. How could the world keep turning, people existing like normal, while you were being consumed by the tightness enveloping your lungs? The thought made you want to light up the whole building, watch it burn as the flames simmered the concrete to ashes to relieve the turmoil brewing inside your body.

“I'm coming for Baji Keisuke?” You asked, barely managing to string the words together in a coherent sentence, head going a thousand miles per hour. “He’s my brother.”

The officer behind the desk pulled down his magazine, looking you over and taking in your dishevelled state. “Ah,” he sighed as soon as your brother's profile appeared on his screen. “Baji Keisuke, the little rascal with the breaking and entering charges, huh?”

lips forming into a thin line, you nodded, biting your tongue so as to not insult the man in front of you who, for some reason, couldn't help but chuckle, as if a twelve year-old kid being detained was funny.

“Can I see him?”

He gave you one last obnoxious glance, before typing on his computer.

“He’s currently under police custody,” he explained condescendingly as if you didn’t know, pulling a manila folder and pressing the button on the printer, handing you a pen in the meantime. “He's only got a minor charge compared to the other brat he came in here with,” He let out a quiet cackle, not wanting to attract anyone else’s attention. To you, it was like he acted this nonchalant to rile you up, make your blood boil. And, in spite of your reluctance to admit to it, it was working. Being in his presence made you want to punch him. “We’re betting on whether the other kid’s gonna get charged with manslaughter or not.

“And just between us,” he made a come hither motion, but leaned forward on his chair at your lack of reaction. “I’m betting in favor of manslaughter, so I'm crossing my fingers for the guy to die soon, ‘ya know?”

Had you been wearing long sleeves, he would’ve been able to see you rolling them up, emotionally prepared to be charged with aggravated assault against a police officer

Fortunately, another officer called out your name, catching your attention before you could act on the violent scenarios coursing through your brain. You didn’t bother excusing yourself before leaving to find your brother.

He looked small, smaller than he actually was, as he sat on the floor with both his knees close to his chest. His eyes were puffy and red, it was obvious he had been crying; though by the looks of it, he had yet to stop.

The cell door sounded like nails against a chalkboard as it scraped against the floor. It made him flinch in surprise, snapping him out of the borderline-dissociating trance as he looked up at the intimidating officer, trying to gauge his intentions while gathering all the energy he had left in his body to fight off the man just in case he needed to. But as soon as he made eye contact with you he could feel himself lowering his guard.

He didn’t even hesitate, his body moved on his own, running past the officer and straight into your arms, letting the harsh sobs he had tried bottling up rack his body, along with muffled apologies and incoherent explanations.

“It's okay,” you mumbled against his hair, trying to calm down his heart wrenching cries. He nuzzled his face against your neck, trying to get impossibly closer to the sound of your voice. You waited for him to nod, still clutching at your clothes with all the remaining energy he had. “He's strong, he’ll be alright.”

Though at this point you were unsure whether your words held any weight against the grand scheme of things; hopefully all your promises won’t turn into bold-faced lies.

You made your way out of the cell together, holding his left hand as he used the other to rub at his eyes, itchy and dry from all the crying. The two of you walked past a couple of cells before he stopped for what seemed like a millisecond, mumbling something under his breath in weak anguish. Had you not been hyper aware of everything going on around you, you wouldn’t have noticed the slight tug at your hand.

Kazutora sat on the floor the same way Keisuke did, knees pulled up to his chest, biting his cuticles raw to stop his brain from looping the traumatic set of events like a broken film; still, it wasn't enough to stop his whole body from trembling in shock. The distress fresh in his eyes made you want to drop everything just to hold him close, comfort him like you did with Keisuke.

But you didn’t have much time, the officer behind you pressured the both of you to move, and considering Keisuke remained under police custody, you weren’t willing to risk him getting locked up again now that you had him by your side.

“Wait for me over there, okay?” You said, pointing at the waiting area. “I just have to fill out some paperwork and then we can go home.” He held your hand even tighter in his grasp in response, as if he was scared to let go. “I’ll be quick, promise.”

Reluctantly, he dragged his feet as he walked, not wanting to stray far away from you. At least there was still some sort of stubbornness left in him. You’ve never seen him act like this, uncontrollably crying and apologising, devoid of the mischievous glint in his eyes. Knowing the Keisuke you knew was still there comforted you.

“How, uh, how much is bail gonna be?” You asked once he had made himself at home on the plastic chairs. Thankfully it was someone else behind the desk instead of the asshole you had the misery of interacting with.

You knew it wasn’t going to be cheap, already having a grasp of fines and bail costs thanks to your friends getting into trouble, but even with this knowledge, their response sent a shiver down your spine.

Maybe you could use some of your own savings, or part of your college fund. Using your mom’s money was also an option, but you didn't want to put the burden on her. If you skipped a semester it could give you some time to earn the money back, but you were already behind in a few classes, and the minimum wage from part time jobs wouldn’t stack up too much, so was it truly feasible?

Fuck, you knew they were children but you couldn’t help but curse at their recklessness, their stupidity and naivety. Did they actually think stealing a bike would be that easy? And now you have to pay for the consequences, quite literally. Of course, you could always leave him here, let him face the consequences straight on. There was nothing forcing you to bail him out. But who were you kidding, you’d kill for him, of course you were going to pay.

Making sure he was still where you left him, you looked over your shoulder back at him. He was slumped over his knees, aimlessly playing with his fingers as his eyes fixated on the corridor leading to the cells, a solemn sadness washing over his features.

No.

You weren’t going to. You were going to pay for your brother’s sins, or whatever the cheesy line says, and leave to never look back. You didn’t owe this other kid anything, most certainly when you couldn't afford it. But, after knowing him for so long, the thought of him staying in the middle of four cold walls until further notice broke your heart.

“Actually,” you sighed. This was gonna cost two semesters instead of one. “Could I pay for someone else’s bail as well?”

At first, he refused to acknowledge your presence, biting harder into his fingers. He tried self-soothing through slow back and forth rocking motions and the unintelligible words that spilled from his mouth, hugging himself tighter the closer you got.

He didn’t move, frozen in place as if the lack of movement would make him invincible to the naked eye. He didn’t cave in no matter what you did, not when you kneeled in front of him nor when you whispered his name in hopes he would acknowledge your voice.

It only took a couple of seconds after that for him to shyly meet your gaze, warming up to you in an instant and clinging onto you just like Keisuke had done, though he did so with a lot more desperation, this sort of comfort foreign to Kazutora. He felt so small in your embrace, burying his face in your shoulder, the only thing he could do was claw at your body for reassurance. Other than that, he didn’t speak, didn’t cry, he almost didn’t move, to the point it had you questioning whether he was actually breathing.

Once you coaxed him out of the cell and got a hold of your brother, your sole focus was on guiding the boys beside you out of the precinct as fast as possible, one hand holding Keisuke’s while the other rested on the back of Kazutora’s head. They didn’t need to spend more time than necessary in this place, surrounded by grimy cell blocks and seemingly socially inept officers who couldn’t keep their rambunctious laughter down.

Wakasa was sitting on his bike outside the police station waiting for the three of you, and though initially it was supposed to be just the two of you riding along with him, he wasn’t surprised you paid for your brother’s friend’s bail. He kept a fairly laid-back exterior, lit cigarette hanging from his fingers replacing his preferred strawberry flavored lollipops, inhaling back the smoke that seeped from his parted lips and freaking out on the inside.

The two of you were hanging out when multiple calls blasted through your phone, prompting you to rush to where you were now. First it was one from the hospital, one of the bearers of bad news that didn’t let you dwell on the fact that Shinichiro had written you down as one of his emergency contacts. Then came the call from the police station, sinking your heart down to the bottomless pit in your stomach.

“Everything alright?” He asked, putting out his cigarette, smothering the stick with his boot along with the other three he had finished while you were inside.

You hummed in response, words dying in your throat. The silence around you itched and burned, made your skin prickle with discomfort, and even so, no one dared say anything besides the occasional noise of acknowledgement. They weren’t dumb. They were one-hundred percent aware of what they were doing, and this wasn’t something you could blame on their age either. Yes, they were kids, but a twelve year old should be able to discern right from wrong; aware that stealing is bad and that murdering people is wrong.

And deep down, you knew this was even more fucked up than it appeared to be. You knew Kazutora wouldn’t have cared for the victim had it not been Shinichiro. The only reason he was shaking like a leaf, flinching when Wakasa fastened the belt of his helmet against his head, was because he hurt Mikey’s brother. That’s not to say Keisuke was innocent, it was clear he wasn’t. Intentionally breaking into someone’s shop to steal a very valuable, very expensive, piece of equipment and potentially complicit in someone's murder.

You wanted to tear your eyes off at the thought. Did they really think they could get away with this? That it would be as easy as stealing some candy or gum from the corner store? You wanted to curse them out for being so stupid, so naive. But looking down at their sunken faces, eyes bloodshot and teary as they sweated fear from every pore on their fragile skin, it made you want to excuse all their horrid behaviour, ignore the fact they committed a crime and in the process they mortally wounded an innocent man.

You held down an involuntary gag at the violation of your principals, the memory of what had just gone down stirring unwanted bitterness inside your stomach. You were no one to criticise the two kids sitting between Wakasa and you. They could be stupid, but you were the weakest of them all.

“Let’s get going then.”

You could question your moral compass later, first you had to get them home.

The voices of the characters talking in the background faded into an uncomfortable white noise as your muscles dissolved along with your bones, breaking through your skin and seeping into the cushions of the couch. Each time you breathed in the more stressed you became at the uncertainty of your friend’s mortal status.

You hadn’t received any news from the hospital, and though you knew that if they hadn’t called by now, they probably wouldn’t at least until tomorrow morning, that didn’t stop you from imprisoning your phone close to your chest. Maybe if you channelled all your strength into your hold then you’d lose the urge to cry.

In spite of their initial resistance, it didn’t take long to put the kids to bed. The two of them drifted off to a bitter, yet hopefully replenishing, sleep as soon as their heads hit the pillow. It wasn’t surprising, the whole incident had drained the both of them to their core.

“‘Sure you’re okay?” Wakasa asked, and had it not been for his voice you're sure you would’ve dissociated the rest of the night. Maybe the kids would find you the next morning still sitting on the couch, frozen like a statue as you stared at the ceiling, and freak out because they’d think you had died along with ‘Shinichiro-nii’.

You hummed, it was the only response you could muster it seemed, with your eyes zeroing in on his shoulders, then his cheeks and then his earrings. Looking straight into his eyes would do you no good. It’d blow your cover in less than an instant, and though it’s fair to say it was a shit cover, amplifying your grief through your dejected silence instead of toning it down, it made you feel safer from the imminent doom. Still, shitty cover up or not, Wakasa knew you weren’t okay. You wouldn’t be able to fool him even if he was stupid, and at this point, he’s convinced you wouldn’t be able to fool anyone; a single glance your way was enough to tell you were silently crumbling.

He let his head fall backwards against the back of the sofa, sighing in acknowledgement. No matter how many times he asked, deep down he knew you would only cave in at your own account, But at least his question somehow managed to bring you back down from the maze your brain had started fabricating to earth. And maybe, just maybe, if he gave you enough space that’d prompt you to speak. He didn’t mind waiting. Not for a couple of seconds, or the couple of minutes those seconds turned into, or the couple of hours they mutated into next, and so on until days and weeks and years had passed, until the scarcity of time felt infinite.

“He’s dead, isn’t he?” You broke the silence, biting the edges of your words as if you wanted to hide them back inside, voice shaky and heavy against your tongue.

He hesitated, sharing a seat next to you inside the same sinking uncertainty boat, “Shin-chan’s stronger than you think.” He tried reassuring you, or himself he wasn't sure, but at this point the more he tried to tell himself his friend was still breathing, the more it felt like a lie. Shin-chan was stronger than the two of you thought, but was he really? “He’d be heartbroken to know you had little faith in him.”

At least he got you to chuckle, “I’d be heartbroken to know that I was right.”

You fell into an uncomfortable silence not long after, the stakes of the conversation too high, and if you continued talking you’re sure you’d end up giving Shin up for dead. But like this, maybe you could finally force yourself to get some sleep. The weight of your eyelids had doubled, eyes growing heavier against your will, and though you didn’t want to, just in case something happened while you were unconscious, you knew you’d be of no use without at least a few hours of rest. Plus, you promised yourself you’d never lose any sleep over a guy, ever, and you weren’t about to make an exception for Shinichiro Sano.

Not even an hour in your slumber, you almost threw your phone to the other side of the room as its desperate cry pierced your ears. You’re sure Wakasa almost had a heart attack with how fast straightened up next to you, and it wouldn’t be a surprise if it somehow managed to wake up both Kazutora and Keisuke, although your brother was more of a chronic heavy sleeper.

“What are you waiting for? Answer it!” Feelings heightened in his barely awake, panicked state, the desperation was palpable in his words. And though uncommon for him to act in such an erratic manner, he had bottled everything up the whole night, it was time for the stoic facade to break.

But, even so, in spite of your friend’s heartbreaking desperation you didn’t move. Not after the third ring or the fourth. You didn’t dare move, staying frozen on the couch, groggy from waking up yet hyper-aware of everything going on around you despite your mild dissociation. The sole thought of moving towards made your brain press against your skull, screaming at you to stop.

Not answering meant that Shinichiro could stay both simultaneously alive and dead, his fate linked to whether you picked up the call. If you didn’t, maybe he wouldn’t die after all, he’d stay stuck in the unknown limbo of immortality until you made a call.

But then again, this was your only chance to get an update on his status. And it wasn’t only you anxiously waiting on any sort of news. Wakasa was waiting; Keisuke and Kazutora, although asleep, were as well, and you could only fathom Benkei and Takeomi’s reaction. Mikey and Emma were probably up to date, the hospital must’ve called their grandfather before they reached out to you. And looking back at the people that depended on you, it really wasn't fair to put your own self-indulgent selfishness over the needs of others, was it?

It wasn't. Of course it wasn’t, but after putting everyone before you for as long as you’ve lived, didn’t you deserve to be selfish? At least once, when it pertainted the condition of the unrequited love of your life, didn’t you deserve at least that much?

“Hello?” Wakasa answered through furrowed brows and twitching lips. From the way he spoke, you could tell he was biting on the inside of his cheek to release some tension, putting enough pressure to draw blood. “This is Wakasa Imaushi speaking,

“–can’t get to the phone right now, can’t you just talk to me?” Voice getting progressively louder, he challenged the person on the other side of the call. “He’s my best friend, don’t I deserve to know whether he’s alive or not?!”

Only when his voice broke at the weight of his own desperation did you manage to snap out of your trance, snatching the phone out of his grip, ignoring his glassy eyes as you spoke into the receiver, mumbling your name through a shakily put together voice.

You’re not sure whether you imagined it or not, almost choking on a withered sob, but you could feel the moment your teeth sunk into the skin of your hand, digging hard enough for blood to prickle to the surface, preventing any other noise from coming out.

With your vision blurry and a tightness in your chest you could not describe, your body had gone completely numb, and yet your nerve endings were scorching under any semblance of atmospheric pressure, forcing you to feel everything, everywhere, all at once.

Had Wakasa not been there to catch you, you’d have collapsed on the ground, a pitiful wailing mess. Tears soaked through the fabric of both your clothes as you held each other close. For what felt like hours, the two of you stayed like that. Face buried against his neck and his against the top of your head, he rocked you back and forth in his arms until your tears stopped mixing themselves with your spit, sharp inhales tuning down into soft sniffles. And though his eyes burned with unshed sorrow, he kept on humming at your unintelligible mumbling.

“See? I told you he was stronger than we thought.” He whispered, though it sounded closer to a whimper, and nuzzled his cheek further against your hair. As if trying to ground himself, he gave you a tight squeeze, still in doubt whether he was trying to convince you or himself.

Only after a while, once both of your breathing had evened out, did you raise your head up from its hideout, hesitant footsteps catching your attention.

“Nee-chan?” You heard a tiny voice coming from the hallway, a little insecure, as if he didn’t think he deserved a proper response.

“I’m sorry ‘Tora, did we wake you?” You peeled Wakasa’s arms from your body, rubbing the haziness of your eyes away. He shook his head in response, carefully moving away from the shadows after acknowledging your lack of anger.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

His puffy eyes shimmered red under the soft moonlight coming through the living room window. He took meticulous steps in your direction, side-eyeing Wakasa and still wary of you, not knowing how you would react after his intrusion. Each one was lighter than the other, the wooden floors refused to creek underneath his weight, almost as if he had trained himself to become weightlessly invisible.

Slowly as to not startle him, you stretched your arms in his direction, beckoning him towards you and silently encouraging him to trust you. Even after drying out his tears once you tucked him in bed, holding his hand a little longer while Keisuke slept next to him, you’re sure that wasn’t enough to reassure him you wouldn’t blow up on him. For Kazutora, interacting with most people felt like trying to navigate an active minefield.

Hugging him close to your body, you pulled him on your lap and softly rocked him back and forth; the same way Wakasa had done with you. He nuzzled closer to you, letting himself relax against your touch once he registered you weren't a threat, basking in your warmth.

The silence the three of you fell under was deafening, uncomfortable even, though you didn't intend for it to be. Kazutora had this question stuck in his throat, sitting heavy against his vocal cords while the bitter taste of bile stained his tongue.

“Is…” he trailed off, still doubting whether he deserved to be asking such a question. “Is Mikey’s brother going to be okay?”

He tensed up at the lack of immediate response. The lack of positive reassurance that he hadn’t completely messed up everyone's lives made the grip he had on your arm grow tighter in fear of you letting go.

You didn’t. You weren’t planning to do so. Even if nausea piled up at the end of your oesophagus as the conflicting set of emotions brewing at the pit of your stomach, you were sure he needed you as much as you needed him to keep yourself grounded

“He will.” You brushed your fingers through his hair, lips curled up into a smile once you felt him relax against you once again. “Right now he’s resting, we can visit him in a couple of days, if you’d like.”

The silence amongst you became heavy once again, but inside Kazutora’s head the cacophony of your words bounced against the thick layers of bone and skin like worthless cries of distress. What he did was inconceivable, and in spite of that you still cared.

“I didn’t mean to,” barely a whisper, the words died out before they could be properly enunciated. They prickled and ached and stung at the walls of his throat. Something he couldn’t name but feel deeply inside his bones stopped himself from vomiting it all out. But mess after mess, like building blocks stacking one on top of the other, they piled up and pulled him down like a ball and chain made out of his own flesh and when he tried to pull at it to set himself free he could feel everything spilling out in a tangled cry. “I didn’t mean to hurt him, I’m sorry!” he cried, clutching onto your shirt and arms, anything he could get a hold of to ensure you wouldn’t leave him alone. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

Holding him tightly and shushing his cries, you could do nothing more than let his tears wet at your shirt, mumble that it was okay even if it truly wasn’t; even if the two of you knew it was a lie. The weeping child in your arms did nothing but pull at your heartstring, conflicting feelings arising in your chest. In spite of the fondness you felt for the kid, the same fondness you felt for all of your little brother’s friends, you had unconsciously developed a grudge towards him, bitterness and resentment for hurting Shinichiro.

His lashes rested against his skin, casting thin shadows under the sunlight streaming through the window. He had always looked peaceful when he was sleeping, chest rising and falling as if following a metronome’s tempo. You can remember taking long summer naps next to him and the rest of your friends, you always being the first one to wake up. Every summer the three of them arrived late to at least five Black Dragon’s meetings because they had slept in. Shinichiro had developed this antsy habit of arriving weirdly on time yet slightly late ever since then, he couldn’t tolerate the idea of letting down whoever was waiting for him; you wonder how he’d react if he knew the shop wouldn’t open today.

So peaceful yet fragile., never in your life would’ve you remotely imagined you’d be sitting next to your best friend’s hospital bed, eyes puffy and droopy while his head laid covered in bandages. The beeping of the monitor filling up the unnecessary silence that wouldn’t have otherwise been there had he been awake.

Had he been awake, he would’ve talked to you non-stop, retelling everything that went down to the most insignificant detail, sprinkling hyperboles as much as he could just to appear a little cooler in front of you. But it's not like he had to try anyway, to appear cooler, that is, you already thought he was the coolest person in the whole wide world; though you’d go as far as saying he was the coolest person to ever exist. The sole idea made you smile, tears welling up in your eyes as you wondered if he’d blush once he found out how highly you thought of him.

And of course, had he been awake, he would’ve been worried about everyone but him. He would’ve asked about Mikey and Emma, if they had slept over at the hospital or at home with his grandfather, who he would’ve proceeded to ask about. He would’ve bitten his tongue to prevent himself from even mentioning the economic implications of his stay, but you would’ve been able to read right through him.

Then, had he been awake, he would’ve asked about Keisuke and Kazutora. He would’ve be worried about them, berated you with a flurry of questions, emotions switching from anger to guilt in less than a millisecond; angry at your deplorable encounter with the police, guilty because he was the one that called, and maybe if he hadn’t, then Mikey’s friends wouldn't have gotten in trouble.

He would’ve asked about the shop, if anyone was there watching over it while he was resting in the hospital, deflating a little after finding out it wouldn’t open for the day. He would’ve asked about Wakasa and Benkei and Takeomi, ask if they were aware of what happened, if they had already started making fun of him after finding out a twelve year-old sent him straight to the ER; he would’ve sighed at your response, shaking his head because instead of making fun of him his friends were worried.

Finally, he’d ask about you. And maybe you would’ve cried or laughed or screamed. Maybe tears would’ve pooled in your eyes, the fact your friend was breathing finally sinking in. Maybe you would’ve giggled at your past unjustified worries because he was here now and you never should’ve doubted him, not even for a second. Maybe you would’ve broken down, fatigue deep in your bones pulling you to the ground until you could do nothing but lay cold and empty and happy on the floor because you had not dared sleep but at least the existence of his consciousness remained.

But the only one speaking was the wind blowing through the curtains, kissing his forehead and messing up his hair just to give you the opportunity to put it back in place through the insecure brush of your fingers

Resting your forehead next to the palm of his hand, you sighed in defeat; maybe you should’ve let him rest alone. You had spent the whole morning next to him, ignoring any hunger cues alerting you it was time for breakfast or lunch or any sort of meal time that could fuel your body from complete exhaustion. Still, even if you wanted to fall asleep, it was like your subconscious wouldn’t let you. Every time you closed your eyes and felt yourself slip into a deep slumber, you were jolted awake to your own dismay.

Not being able to rest had started to eat away at your own sanity. Only eight hours had passed, but every second felt like a thousand and at this point, you had become a walking contradiction; hungry but unable to eat, tired yet unable to fall asleep. Your body was failing you, unable to react to any sort of external or internal stimuli, and you’re sure wouldn't be able to cry no matter how much you wanted to do so.

But even then, apparently you could still scream.

The weight of his hand on top of your head caught you off guard. It almost made you fall from the chair and smack your head against the bed’s metal skeleton. Maybe if you got a concussion and slipped into a weird pseudo-coma after a harrowing God-knows-how-many-hours-long surgery he’d feel guilty enough to make up for the tachycardia that had your heart beating where your brain should be.

“Hi.” He smiled, words a little slurred as the remaining anaesthesia wore off.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Oh, I see ‘you missed me alright.”

And you did. Even though less than a day had passed since the accident, picturing a whole lifetime without him was enough to permanently alter your brain chemistry. But he was here now, he was back and he was safe and the toothy grin he sported reminded you of home.

“Don’t ‘cha know it’s rude to eat in front of someone who can only chew on ice chips?” He joked, flinching as the nurse adjusted his IV drip.

You were forced to leave the room after a flurry of hospital staff came running at your volatile reaction; Of course, you were quick to reassure that your friend had only woken up and that everything was fine, before leaving for the cafeteria; giving them some space to work on Shinichiro would be good. Plus, not that he was ‘okay’ and you weren’t worrying about his health every second of every minute of every hour, you could address the sudden pangs of hunger poking at your stomach.

“I’ll buy you dinner once you get out.” You smiled, scooping some of the jell-o into your mouth through your innocent smile. But, again to your dismay, the mischievous glint in your eyes ratted you out. Shinichiro knew that ‘dinner’ meant the cheapest ramen you could find, maybe add an egg to spice it up, and ice cream you’d eat directly from the tub; a long lived tradition between the two of you. “I’ll even add chives this time.”

“Gee thanks,” he mocked, as if he’d rather do anything else than eat stale ramen with you. As long as he got the chance, he’d do anything. He’d probably lick the floor for you—not that he’d ever let you know, but if you asked he would, no questions asked. That’s what happens when you love someone. You’d be willing to do anything and everything for them even if it's irrational. “Can I choose the ice cream flavour at least?”

You hummed, focusing on scraping the plastic spoon against the plastic container in your hands to avoid his gaze. “Only this time though, so don’t get used to it.”

“Everything’s looking good so far, we’ll do another check up in a couple of hours.”

Right, you were still in here. Talking like everything was seemingly normal made you forget that you were still in the hospital, watching over your post-op, bedridden friend.

“Lay with me?” he asked, not before the both of you thanked the nurse who excused himself after gathering the remaining equipment. “Please?”

You shouldn’t, something inside your head made sure to let you know even if the urge to hold him close was overpowering. He had just barely woken up after a long emergency surgery, and you taking up space would be of no help for him to get the rest he needed. But the silent plea in the puppy dog eyes you had trained yourself so hard to resist, the subtle pout and the cute dopey-ness that had yet to wear off were far too tempting to resist.

His little celebratory cheer made you inwardly squeal as you slowly moved to his side, watching him wince in pain while he slowly shuffled himself closer to the edge in a clumsy attempt to make some space for you.

The thumping of his heartbeat reverberated in his chest, the stress melting from out your bones. You couldn’t help but sigh in content once you laid your head on his chest. Now that you were wrapped in each other’s arms, it felt like you could finally rest.

“Tired?” He mumbled against your hair, breaking the silence that had settled in the room as you basked in each other’s presence. You hummed in response, nuzzling your cheek against his body and almost purring like a cat at his warmth. Letting your eyes close involuntarily, you couldn’t help but be lulled to a premature slumber. With how comfortable you looked, and because your obnoxious yawning was too contagious, he wanted to do nothing but follow in your footsteps.

Instead, his eyes stayed wide open and stuck to the ceiling as if the off off-white paint that covered the concrete was the key to shutting down his brain long enough for sleep to take over. It didn’t matter that his blood had been infused with what felt like at least twenty hundred thousand milligrams of various pain-deafening substances that were sure to knock him out in a matter of seconds, falling asleep seemed to be an unattainable goal.

Whatever they had injected into his body increased his senses’ sensitivity, multiplying it times a hundred instead of dulling them down to nothing. And it didn’t stop at the uncomfortable overtly bright fluorescent lights or the suddenly deafening sound of unoiled wheels from hospital carts being rolled around. It was the way he could feel you barely resting your weight against his body, as if scared the least amount of pressure would make his heart stop. The way he was met with your now dull eyes, almost bloodshot but not quite, sunken with a thick coat of desperation, or fear, or some sort of premature grief, as soon as he woke up. Or how, in spite of only being gone for less than a day, it seemed like you had spent a lifetime unable to exist alongside everything you held dear.

Hyper aware of all those little details and more, it hit him without warning, and suddenly, he could feel the overwhelming urge to cry.

It prickled uncomfortably at his eyes, the skin around his charcoal orbs itching like it was on fire. His mouth felt cottony, smothering his airways and cutting his airflow while his tongue rested uncharacteristically heavy in his mouth with the weight of unsaid words. It broke all his bones at once, leaving him numb on the ground, still like a corpse, and unable to suppress the dooming feeling of his own life spilling from his pores, mixing with his blood until the air around him turned thick and metallic.

In the blink of an eye he had been one step closer to the grave, barely hanging onto a thread of consciousness as the view of his shop turned blurrier and blurrier, and now he was breathing. His lungs had finally regained consciousness and he could feel everything around him overwhelmingly loud and clear and close and real.

Now awake, he could feel you laying on top of him, almost passed out due to the immeasurable amount of stress he had put you under. And maybe if it wasn’t for his reckless habit of parading around life with his guard lowered or for the lack of proper security measures at the shop—because who on earth would rob him? There’s no way he could be that unlucky. Impossible. Or maybe it was his inability to dodge, to hold his stance in a fight because even if he was strong, without proper technique he was rendered useless and, holy shit– he could’ve died.

He could’ve died and then Manjiro would’ve been forced to grow up way too soon because he would have to take care of Emma and grandpa—although knowing both his siblings, Emma was more likely to turn into the head of the house. And then his friends would’ve been left to grieve his death, make sad speeches about the best moments they had together and, fuck was Takeomi terrible at writing; his speech would just be a big mess of incoherent words stuck together. And what about the shop? Who was he leaving the shop to? And what about Inupi? Inupi was just a kid and he can’t just leave him all alone; he had promised to himself to take care of him the same way he took care of his siblings— fuck, Izana as well. Who was going to look after his brother? He was planning to introduce him to all of you guys soon. The two of you would’ve gotten along so well and,

And you.

What about you?

You looked beyond heartbroken. Words couldn't begin to describe exactly what somberness mulled deep within that brain of yours. If this is how you reacted to the possibility of him dying, then how would’ve you reacted to him actually doing so?

A choked sob rips through his lips, the sound painful as it breaches its forceful containment.

“Shin–”

“I’m sorry.”

“What…” you trailed off. The strained cry had erased any speck of slumber. For a second you thought you had dreamt it, that your brain had finally gone off the rails and you were hearing imaginary voices. That was until you looked up at him, eyes welling up with unshed tears, body stiff as if to prevent them from falling. “What’re you sorry for?”

“I just remembered the beach trip we were planning for Manjiro’s birthday,” he sniffled, “and I think we’re gonna have to cancel.”

“That’s okay, we can reschedule—”

“Yeah but I– I know he was really excited for it, all his friends were.”

“We’ll talk to them, make sure they understand—”

“And you were excited about it too,” avoiding your eyes even after you had tried to coax him into meeting yours. He felt so far away, almost unreachable despite laying right next to you. “And I know how much you love the beach and I really wanted to go with you even if we were gonna have to chaperone six hyperactive children,

“And, and I know the guys were gonna come with and we had it all perfectly planned out with this huge dorayaki cake thing and now we’re gonna have to cancel because of me—”

“Wait,” you shush him as gently as possible, sitting up and holding his hand tightly between yours. “What do you mean ‘because of me’?”

Almost as if he had never started, your question managed to shut down his rambling like forcefully closing a water faucet. He had this estranged, far-off look darkening his face, eyes glassy, almost as if he were dissociating. It made your stomach churn with anxiety. Never in your many, many, years of friendship had you seen him lose himself like this.

“Because,” he paused, trying to swallow down the knot grappling at his throat, fighting off the urge to tear it off with his bare hands. “Because it's my fault we’re cancelling.”

“I– What’re you talking about?”

He groaned in desperation. Why was this so hard to explain?

“I’m the one who’s bedridden.” Still dizzy after waking up and to the best of his ability, he tried sitting up, wincing in pain to then give up and lean into his forearms. “I’m the one with random needles poking through my skin, fresh off the ER because my skull was bashed into with one of my own tools and maybe, just maybe, if I had been more aware at the time, I could've avoided the hit.”

“Shin, this wasn’t your fault—”

“But it is! Can't you see?”

“Shin–”

“D’you know what I did when I heard someone break the glass?” He looked at you expectantly, voice raised in frustration. “After I called the cops; do you?” You shook your head in response, knowing that any attempt to help him calm down would be futile. “I grabbed a wrench.

“After the operator told me to hide and wait for help because I told them it sounded like more than one person was inside, I grabbed a stupid wrench and decided to face them,

“I decided to face them even if I'm well aware I wouldn’t be able to take two people at once.”

And though he seemed to be dead set on believing that somehow he managed to land himself in the hospital, you wouldn’t allow him to give himself up to the restless thoughts, no matter how badly he wanted to indulge the bitter part of his brain that had gotten used to putting himself down.

“Someone hit you from behind,” you tried, “you were ambushed, of course you wouldn't be able to take them on.”

His defeated sigh gave you some sort of uncomfortable comfort. Knowing it made you glad that he had finally given up was a conflicting feeling you wish to never re-examine or experience again.

You sat up, swallowing the foreign relief down, and scooted further up the bed’s backrest. Your elbow rested well above the pillow where he laid, and you couldn't help but use your leverage to gently brush your fingers through his hair, only relaxing once he visibly melted against your touch.

“You didn’t do this to yourself, this wasn’t your fault.” You whispered, fingertips soothing his worries as they ghosted the skin of his forehead. “You’re not responsible for every single thing that goes wrong, no matter how much you try to convince yourself you are.”

He can’t recall a single moment in his life in which he felt like he was relieved from his self-imposed duty—the duty of an older brother, primary caretaker, and practically a parent. Someone who must put everyone’s needs above his own well-being. He’s responsible for everything going on around him, the good, the bad, the neutral, the everything. It only made sense that the break in and the subsequent series of events were, in part, his responsibility.

And he knew it was irrational thinking because how on earth would he have known what was going to happen? But he couldn’t help it, not when all the consequences of his actions reflected on the bigger picture; everyone relies on Shinichiro Sano, and it was his duty to fulfil.

“And I promise you no one is disappointed in you. Not a single one of us.” You press your lips against the top of his head, smiling through your own teary eyes at the little hum he involuntarily let out. “We’re all so, so happy that you're awake and talking and I bet Manjiro would rather move his beach birthday party a hundred years from now than lose his brother six days before his birthday,

“The beach is not going anywhere, and neither are we, okay? We are not going anywhere.”

And you knew it wasn’t not enough. Your words weren’t enough to shut up the swirling negativity spiral in his brain. But at least it was enough to calm him down, enough for him to fall asleep in spite of the dampness kissing his skin; he might have successfully managed to suppress the heart wrenching sobs, but he was not strong enough to hold back the tears that cascaded down his cheeks.

You follow through not long after, head lolling to the side in an uncomfortable position that would for sure leave your neck aching for days. But you wouldn’t have it any other way. There was no dreaming this time. No nightmares or worst case scenarios crafted deep within your subconscious. In spite of the gloomy circumstances, the two of you had fallen asleep. Finally, being in your arms was beyond comforting. Plus, indulging in the rest your body had craved for hours made it easier to regain consciousness once Manjiro decided to jump on the two of you in surprise, never minding the possibility of further injuring his brother by mistake.

Being on the receiving end of his lovable violence hurt more than you thought it would, one of his hands landing straight on your stomach and the other on Shinichiro’s chest, but you couldn’t blame the kid. Based on what Keisuke had confided in you last night, Manjiro had witnessed both his best friends’ arrest as well as his brother being pulled out unconscious on a stretcher out of the shop.

Beyond a muffled apology, he didn’t utter anything else, like his voice had given in. He clung onto Shinichiro’s body like his life depended on it.

A swift knock on the door caught your attention, though Manjiro didn't even bother looking up, face tucked against his brother’s body, letting himself relax as his brother’s fingers threaded through his blond locks.

Emma poked her head from behind the wall, hands holding onto the door frame for balance. From where you laid you could see how her eyes were almost as puffy as yours. They were rimmed with a bright red, the same shade that was splotched all over her cheeks and nose. Mansaku stood beside her, holding onto his hat.

You could physically feel the relief washing over Shinichiro the moment he saw his whole family entering the room. He laid lighter next to you, with a brighter smile decorating his lips. It was like his body had melted from hard concrete right into a puddle, your previous conversation seemingly forgotten as a twinkle of warmth returned to his pretty eyes.

Careful not to let Manjiro fall in the dent you were leaving as you stood up, you beckoned Emma over. She cuddled up to Shinichiro, clinging onto him while her soft sniffles filled the silent room, and you swore you had almost started tearing up again at the sight.

Mansaku placed a hand on your shoulder, making you flinch in surprise as he acknowledged your presence. Like a wordless thank you, he nodded at you before stepping closer towards the bed, letting his hand rest on Shinichiro’s, and gently squeezed as if making sure his grandson was truly there.

In no way shape or form was it the perfect family meetup—a perfect one wouldn’t entail the eldest-grandson-slash-parental-figure stuck in a hospital bed. But by the way they huddled together, Shinichiro pinching Manjiro’s cheeks, the latter not even fighting him off like he usually would, and patting Emma’s head in reassurance, with Mansaku displaying the ghost of a smile as he stood next to his grandchildren, the four of them gave off the feeling of everything being okay.

The familiar warmth between them left you to watch the scene like an outsider in a third-person point of view. It made you feel like you were intruding, messily glued to one of those fancy family portraits.

In spite of both your families spending the majority of their lives around one another, you weren’t a Sano. No matter how close Keisuke and Manjiro were, no matter how much Shinichiro and you acted like a married couple with at least five children, you were never going to be one. You knew this from the start, but even so, the knowledge didn’t stop the churning of a deeply seeded loneliness inside your stomach.

You didn’t bother with your goodbyes. Even if you had promised Shinichiro you’d spend the rest of the day together—pretending to be bothered and reluctant when you sealed it with a ‘pinky promise’ to hide the fact you’d willingly play nurse whenever he needed it—something from within told you it was your time to leave, you weren’t that important after all.

The question swirled inside your skull, bitter as it scratched your bones, as you leaned against the walls outside the hospital. At first, you intended to camp out in a waiting room, maybe join them after you had finally calmed down, but instead your legs had taken you right outside, landing you in a secluded area between the building and the many trees surrounding it so you could confidently retrieve the crushed package from your back pocket without disturbing anyone

Your thumb burned as you attempted to roll the sparkwheel of your zippo lighter, the metal forming uncomfortable crevices against your skin. You had to hold back the urge to bite down on the cigarette you had clumsily stuck between your teeth instead of your lips, frustration welling up and threatening to burst from the seams that clumsily held you together.

Waiting for the uncomfortable itch to burn at your throat, you traced the outline of the red koi fish at the corner of the lighter, eroded after thumbing at it like a nervous tick over the years. Every time you felt your eyes water you made sure to compulsively take another drag, as if the smoke could cloud your thoughts, mixing them up with the familiar nostalgia.

Anyone would think that after incinerating your taste buds with each stick you burn, you’d get used to the taste. Whoever said it gets easier the more you do it was a liar. They were as disgusting as ever, flavour the exact same as those you had tried when you were younger, fooling around with your friends. It first started when Shinichiro and Takeomi brought a couple of cigarettes they had stolen from his grandfather to one of your hang outs. It prompted the three of you to continuously choke and make fun of each other for doing so until there were only mustard coloured butts squished on the floor.

Neither Takeomi nor you had really enjoyed the experience, but for some reason, Shinichiro was quick to grow fond of the taste. He made sure to carry around a twelve-pack wherever he went, lighting up cigarette after cigarette in strategic places so the smell wouldn’t stick to his hair or clothes. Not soon after, the rather unhealthy habit had extended to the remaining two of you, who couldn’t help but carry your own packs to satisfy your newly birthed cravings.

Looking back, you’re sure younger-you did that to be a little more like Shinichiro, just like Takeomi, and for other even more childish reasons like appearing more mature and attractive in his eyes; you clearly remember him having a thing for older women for a while. Sure, the two of you were the same age but still, you felt like he didn’t see you like you wanted him to, and the only way for you to change that would be to gain some more common ground with him right?

So yeah, just like Takeomi, you wanted to be more like Shinchiro, but unlike Takeomi—as far as you know—you had started buying cigarette packets mainly to share back and forth with your best friend in, what you would call, a weak attempt at flirting.

At least the cringe memory managed to rip you out from the insecurity whirlpool you were being sucked into, making you groan while softly hitting your head against the concrete wall. Thank god Wakasa existed to berate you into stopping the unhealthily embarrassing habit. Back then you were just a kid, but were you being for real? Were you seriously intending to build your whole life around a man to the point you’d indulge in one of the most common and deadliest habits in the world for a slim chance at a high-school romance? Fuck, was younger-you so painfully stupid to even think–

“One of you is already in the hospital, we don't need you to auto-hospitalise.”

The old man’s voice made you jump, fumbling with the cigarette until it fell to the floor. You tried to hide the coughing fit to the best of your ability while frantically stomping on the lit stick laying on the ground. It didn’t matter that you were an adult, you were still terrified of getting caught smoking by the man.

“Would you mind sharing one with me?” He asked, ignoring the way your face morphed into a confused frown. With nimble fingers, you opened your cigarette pack once again, handing him your lighter when he was unable to fetch his from his pockets.

“You still smoke?” You questioned, adding a hasty ‘sir’ once you noticed how informal you had sounded.

He chuckled in response, taking another puff. “I only stopped doing it in front of the children.”

This time it was your turn to chuckle, playing with the gravel underneath your feet to avoid looking at the man at your slip-up. Still, even with your gaze fixated on the ground you could tell he was looking at you in curiosity.

“I didn’t mean to laugh it’s just,” clearing your throat, you stumbled with your words, debating in your head whether you should come up with one of your horrid cover ups or tell the truth. “You always smoked around us when we were little, like you didn’t care.”

You thought he would’ve left you alone after that, knowing you were purposely disrespectful towards him. It would’ve been better that way. Then you would’ve been left to wallow in your own self-pity in peace, with no one to stop you from finishing the seven remaining cigarettes. But he didn’t, taking you aback as he stayed rooted right by your side.

Had you been anyone else, he would’ve called them out. To cover up his own embarrassment or to make up for the disrespect? Not even he could be sure. But he had seen you grow up next to his own grandchildren, sharing your love and caring nature with them along with your mild irascibility and your talent for keeping Shinichiro on a tight leash. He couldn’t help but grow fond of you, even if most of your one-on-one interactions had consisted of you running away from him before he managed to scold you.

He had only stopped smoking once Manjiro was born, self-awareness finally sinking into his thick skull as he watched his two grandsons play together. No one had questioned him back then, letting him sit on the couch undisturbed while he read the morning paper. It was only after Sakurako had passed away, that he had started to notice the many areas he was lacking, watching both Shinichiro and you fill the gaps in each other’s broken homes while he alienated himself from the responsibility of taking care of his family. The two of you worked so in sync, he would be of no help—or at least that was what he had told himself.

“I wasn’t the best grandfather.”

“You think?”

“I know.” He smiled at your attitude; snappy as always, the only difference was the way you now recoiled in embarrassment at your slip ups. Using his fingers to get rid of the ash, he tapped on the back of the cigarette before taking another drag. “Thank you for taking care of them when I couldn’t.”

Not even a noise of acknowledgement, your vocal chords had closed themselves shut at the man’s sudden mild vulnerability. Out of all the things you expected him to ever say to you, a ‘thank you’ was never on the list. He was always sporting his characteristic cartoonish frown, speaking to everyone in a clipped tone with pointed words.

“You’re more important to us than you think.” He stepped on the cigarette butt. “That is one of the reasons why I can’t let you believe what happened to my grandson was in any way your fault.”

“‘Sorry?” You mumbled in confusion, his words pulling yet another frown onto your face; did you miss any pivotal points in the conversation? How had the conversation switched from his apparent familial issues to you?

“I know you feel guilty for what happened, even if you weren’t involved.” He sighed, not bothering to look you in the eye before continuing his speech. “You’re not responsible for your brother’s doing.”

“Yeah,” you scoffed in mild amusement, as if that wasn’t something you’ve been trying to tell yourself; all Bajis share their fuckups. But then again, of course he wouldn’t understand. “Easier said than done.”

This time you didn’t try to make up for the way had snapped at him. And bless the man for being able to read the room, because he didn’t push the conversation further. Deep down he knew you needed the outlet; you may have already cried, but all your anger was still pent up inside of you. And after everything you had done for him and his family, it was the least he could do for you.

“It doesn’t matter what we believe, we’re always responsible for everyone’s mess.” You scoff in dismay. “It’s like we were born for our families to have a provisional caretaker.

“So thank you for trying to tell me I didn’t break into Shinchiro’s shop, I know I didn’t, but it's still my mess to fix.” The aftertaste of the words laid heavy in your mouth, trickling down your throat like bitter bile tearing through the tissue. You didn’t like how they sounded; they were too impersonal, too selfish. You took a deep breath, holding yourself upright in spite of the pang in your chest. “Not that i wouldn’t have taken care of Shin if someone else had been responsible for what happened, I lo– I– I care too much about him to just leave him be but its just—”

You cleared your throat, “If I had made sure I knew where Keisuke was going or, or if I had actually tried to listen to him when he told me he didn’t know what to give Manjiro for his birthday then maybe– just…”

You trailed off, unable to finish your sentence without breaking down the walls of the dam you thought you had finally managed to piece back together. You didn’t want the responsibility of rebuilding them back up, you don’t think you’d be able to do it as quickly as you’d want to. But you weren’t venting your sorrows to the wind. Mansaku Sano was still standing next to you, hands locked behind his back as he waited for you to continue, and though he was well aware of the times in which he had to remain quiet, he also knew when it was time to speak up.

“Then what?”

“Then,” you swallow, “then none of this would’ve happened, and he would’ve been okay.”

Your body itched for another cigarette, pawing at your skull for you to smother down the tears spouting from your eyes, even if the smoke would make your eyes teary once again. But with Mansaku Sano standing next to you, you didn’t dare touch a single one; it didn’t matter that you had just finished spilling your pent up emotions, you drew the line at smoking with Shinichiro’s grandfather. The thought sprouted a melancholic smile on your lips; Shinichiro would have a field day when he finds out what just went down.

The only thing left you had to ground yourself was the cold metal of your lighter, already starting to heat up at the warmth of your skin. You ran your thumb over it once again, the pattern already engraved in your mind. The habit had probably developed out of your need to be comforted by familiarity—of course the lighter was the right candidate, from its colour and texture, size and temperature, you had everything about it memorised like the back of your hand.

“It’s a really nice lighter.” You hadn't realised you were playing with it until he spoke up; twirling it between your fingers over and over again, flipping it open and close, lighting it up before shutting the lid and extinguishing the flame.

“Thanks,” you sniffled, and right after you finished speaking, your voice hoarse and tired, you regretted ever doing so. You felt like a child once again; like when your mom tried to comfort you after you had scraped your knee, or when a couple of older middle-schoolers had beaten your friends up. A child like when the day was finally over and you had to go back home from a play-date, or when your favourite toy had fallen inside the river while walking over a bridge. You regretted speaking the minute you had discovered your voice sounded as weak as you felt, and yet, at the mention of your beloved trinket, you felt the warm giddiness wash over your body forcing you to speak. And so, once again like a child, you did. “I got it at a summer festival, Shin got it for me.”

“I thought you said you wanted to come visit him.”

For a minute Keisuke didn’t speak. He looked straight at the ground, feet planted on the floors like roots had grown out of him as he held your hand.

Earlier this morning he had clung onto your waist while angry tears rolled down his cheeks. The moment he caught sight of you putting your shoes on the genkan he had broken into a run, letting his body smash against yours, and almost making you lose your balance. Both you and your mom had tried your hardest to calm him down for what felt like hours but to no avail. He persisted, begging for you to let him accompany you to the hospital.

Outside of Shinichiro’s room, it was a whole other story. All of a sudden he had decided he didn’t want to see him eye to eye. His reaction made you internally groan in frustration. Had you listened to your own gut feeling telling you Keisuke wasn’t ready to come with you, it would’ve saved him the stress of making a choice for himself. Instead, you were too weak to his puppy dog eyes and wobbly pleas, and now his eyes had started to water as he tried to hold back his own hiccups.

“I promise Shin-nii isn’t angry at you,” you cooed, kneeling down to the floor and looking up at him. When had he gotten this tall? When had he grown this much? Were your efforts enough to shape him into a decent person? “and if you truly don't feel comfortable we can go home, I promise I won’t get angry.”

He rubbed at his teary eyes with his free hand before nodding at you, trailing behind you as you stood up and knocked on the door.

“Hey!” you poked your head into the room with a smile, one that faltered as you tried to keep your mouth from falling open in awe once you noticed how the sunlight streaming from the window kissed every inch of Shinichiro’s skin as he quietly read the book you had given him as a joke. He looked up at you, pearly whites all up for display, and mumbled a soft mumbled a soft ‘hey’ right back at you; he looked so pretty he could be mistaken for an angel. “I brought Keisuke with me, ‘that okay?”

He hummed in response, marking the page he was reading before setting it aside. Even after the events that took place at the shop, you knew he wouldn’t mind your brother visiting—he had a soft spot for him after all. The verbal confirmation was more for Keisuke’s sake, who prompted by it, let go of your hand and walked into the room, a tinge of fear staining each step he took.

Shinichiro grinned, gently waving his way. And though the both of you had always found some sense of comfort in the warmth of his smile, it took less than a second for Keisuke to burst into tears. Sobs wracked his body as he stood frozen in the middle of the room, frantically drying out his cheeks with his forearms in vain. Tears kept pouring from his caramel eyes down to his cheeks until they stained his striped shirt.

At the sight of his distress, Shinichiro tried standing up as quickly as possible, almost ripping off his tangled IV. Thankfully, you managed to stop him before he could; the moment your brother had started crying you were already by his side wrapping your arms around his fragile figure.

Much like you had done the past few days, you combed his hair with your fingers while shushing his cries. It had become almost like a habit, Keisuke running to you in the middle of the day, hugging you close while you dried his tears for him. You’d think he’d ran out of tears by now, but something you didn’t take into account was how similar the two of you were, always feeling everything too much, all at once.

“You’re okay,” you whispered into his hair, “you’re okay, and Shin-nii’s okay, see?” you asked him, holding his tear streaked cheeks and motioning his face to meet your gaze, waiting for his breathing to even out before you coaxed him into looking at Shinichiro. “We’ve got you, the two of us, we've got you.”

He smiled at him once again, though you could see a twinkle of sadness in his eyes, as extended one of his hands for him to take. Warily, he warmed up to the invitation, wiping the remaining tears from his face before dragging his feet to the edge of the bed, asking if he could sit with him in a very un-Keisuke nature; it was unusual for him to ask before acting on his impulses.

Shinichiro softened once he felt Keisuke nuzzling his cheek against his chest. He ran his fingers through his dark locks, and as he did so you couldn’t help but think how his hair kept getting longer and longer with each day; hopefully no one from the school office would call you letting you know it was time to chop it off once classes were back in session.

In between hushed whispers, they talked amongst each other for a while. At first, Baji kept giving one word responses, still insecure in spite of your reassurance, but it wasn’t long before he started to loosen up, giggling between sniffles at Shinichiro’s questions and mocking his ‘honorary-brother’ back with teary jabs.

It was a solid dynamic they had been able to build after years of trust and consistent interaction; your two favourite boys extending their love to each other like they were flesh and blood. In that way, the two of them were similar, fiercely loyal and willing to give themselves up for those they loved. You were grateful that Shinichiro was there for Keisuke as he grew up, unknowingly making up for everything you lacked.

The mumble of your name caught your attention, popping your nostalgia blown bubble. Keisuke and Shinichiro alike were beckoning you over, the latter extending his arm as the two of them scooted over and patted the free space next to him.

He held your hand like you were a princess stepping onto a carriage, gingerly helping you keep your balance as you toed-off your shoes. You let out a sigh once you plopped yourself on the bed, letting his arm curl around your shoulders while he kept your hands interlocked, rubbing the skin with his thumb. In spite of the giddiness warming your stomach, you forced yourself to roll your eyes in response when he teasingly asked if you were comfortable, pretending to be bothered by his apparent clinginess

“‘Your sister made you try the jell-o cups already?” he asked Keisuke, the younger boy looking up at him through puffy eyes and wet lashes, and once he shook his head in response he whistled, turning towards you as if disappointed. “You haven’t made him try ‘em yet?”

“‘Came straight to see you.” You brushed off, pretending you didn’t feel his body tense beside you and smiling to yourself in subtle victory when he gulped.

“You should’ve gone to the cafeteria first.” He scolded jokingly, clicking his tongue as if that would help him hide his blushing cheeks that hurt from his own shy affection. Soon after, he switched his attention to your brother, ruffling his hair before speaking, “Remember those jell-o cups you used to share with Manjiro and Haruchiyo? The ones they sold at the konbini?”

“Yeah, but they don't have ‘em anymore,” Keisuke pouted, brows furrowed in thought. His sharp canines poked at his bottom lip, tilting his head up at Shinichiro and grinning. “Mikey almost fought the cashier guy when we found out they stopped selling them!”

“Yeah, I remembered that.” He chuckled, recalling the time he had heard the employee complain about Manjiro’s sudden aggression on one of his morning milk runs. “But guess what?” he sat on his forearms, dragging out the silence to build anticipation. He waited for the two of you to raise your heads from his chest, sharing an evident impatience as you urged him to continue. He took a deep breath before grinning once again. “They still sell ‘em over here.”

“No way! Really?!” The boy stood up in less than a second, forcing you to grab onto the neck of his t-shirt to prevent him from falling flat on his ass while he cried in glee, tears seemingly forgotten. Those jell-o cups in particular had been a staple of everyone’s childhood; you had been eating those snacks for years and years. You can clearly remember the clear disappointment in his face when he told you they had been discontinued, his somberness rubbing off on you.

“Yeah!” Shinichiro exclaimed back, scooting closer to your brother and placing one of his hands on the bed railing behind your brother, aiding you in your task of preventing Keisuke from falling to the ground. The memory had suddenly made its wake into his consciousness after mulling over ways to comfort your brother and coming up empty handed, until he had suddenly turned to his bedside table where an empty plastic cup sat with a flimsy disposable spoon. “Manjiro and Emma got a bunch from the cafeteria to take home, you could do the same.”

You were almost taken aback by the speed he used to turn his face towards you, surprised he didn’t give himself whiplash before he asked you with as much excitement he could muster, “Can we?! Please, please!?”

His pleading words made his bronze eyes sparkle under the fluorescent lights and though you know you shouldn’t, you can’t find it in yourself to say no. You smiled and nodded without a shadow of a doubt that you’d do anything in your power to keep the toothy grin you missed on his lips.

“Does that mean I can go get one now?” He pleaded, tilting his head and yet again putting on display the best puppy-dog eyes he could muster. “Please? I haven't had one in years, I wanna know if they’re the same as I remember.”

“Knock yourself out.” Shinichiro said before you could respond, ruffling Keisuke’s hair before the latter jumped down, ignoring the fact you didn’t give him a proper response before running off to the cafeteria.

You sighed unimpressed, turning towards the man beside you and letting yourself slump against his figure. His chuckle only made you roll your eyes.

“What? Were you planning to say no to him?”

He knew you too well for your own good.

“Shut up.” With a gentle push you force him back down on the bed, elbowing him lightly in the process and pressing your head back against his chest. You almost hum in satisfaction when he let himself fall back down without resistance, caving in under your touch. “I could’ve said no.”

“Yeah, right.” This time, he was the one rolling his eyes, mocking your mannerisms and chuckling when you smiled, hoping the apparent ‘nonchalance’ would mask his now increased heart rate, and the faster beating coming from the vital sign monitor.

“I could’ve!” You tried to sit up in retaliation, pretending to be annoyed, yet you didn’t resist when he pulled you back down. He held down his own giggling once he felt you cuddling up closer to his side, tracing random patterns on his dotted hospital gown and realising too late how close both your hands were. The proximity made you nervous; even if the two of you were practically laying one on top of the other, holding hands felt like a foreign act of intimacy.

Subtly enough, you tried reaching out for the tip of his fingers, moving what seemed like less than a millimetre per minute. Soon enough, he took notice of your plan; hesitantly, he moved his own towards you, letting your fingertips rest against each other for a couple of seconds, like he was asking for your permission, before interlocking his fingers with yours.

“You really can’t stay away from me, can you?” he teased, gaze focused on your entwined hands through his lashes as he felt too shy to look anywhere near your face. It seemed that hiding the pink-ish blush staining his cheek had become his number one priority; you were so close, so everywhere, he wouldn’t want it any other way, even if the closest he’d get to you would be through friendly teasing, bordering the line of ‘definitely, a 100% and unmistakably platonic’ flirting.

In your mind, you were desperately scavenging for any semblance of a comeback, preferably witty and with the same energy he was giving you.Instead, all you did was sigh.

“Yeah, you’re right.”

You blamed the gusty confession on a moment of weakness, likely born out of your depleting energy mixed with the way his hand fit against yours like two perfectly carved puzzle pieces. You weren’t sure why you had said what you did, the way you did; voice softening as the longing you had suppressed your whole life coated every syllable that rolled down your tongue.

He hummed in response, giddy and satisfied, before backtracking in confusion. The lack of sarcasm or annoyance lighthearted mockery caught the two of you off-guard, though it seemed to have a bigger impact on him as his body tensed up for a moment. If you were to look up at him, you’d probably see his head tilted to the side, with warm cheeks and the ghost of a frown clouding his features.

And that’s exactly why you don’t.

Not like this; you wouldn't allow yourself to do so, wouldn’t even dare. Not when the stakes were this high, multiple worst outcomes served on a silver platter for you to choose because once you look up at him he would notice the way you see him, like he hung up each individual constellation up in the sky on his own and then all of it would be over for you.

For the both of you.

“Do you, uh,” the slight shake in his voice made you gulp, like you had an inkling of a very possible question he could ask. Maybe this would finally be the end of your friendship which, to your own dismay, could be very easily broken by other things that weren’t death itself, “do you know if Keisuke has talked to Manjiro yet?”

You cleared your throat, holding back the sigh of relief, and shook your head. “I don’t think he knows how.”

“He’s scared?”

“I think so,” you pondered, “they’ve been friends since forever, I think he’s scared of losing…him.”

Knowing that both you and your brother’s situation overlapped in so many ways felt weird; both Baji siblings were scared to lose their respective Sano brothers. It sounded funny, almost cute, like both Bajis and Sanos were meant to stick together generation after generation. You would’ve giggled at the thought, explain the parallels between the two relationships to Shinichiro and laugh at the silliness of it, yet the fear that had taken possession of your body the last couple of days lingered at the thought.

Scared of losing him.

You almost choked on the words sitting heavy in your mouth, like you had confessed to a crime. Had you been alone, maybe they would’ve urged you to cry.

“Hey, ‘you okay?” You hadn’t realised that the worry had bled onto your face, dripping down your cheeks and coating your eyelashes with sorrow until he spoke up, tearing you away from your trance. But you couldn’t help it, the lingering torture you endured at the hands of your brain replaying past events, from the bailing your brother out of jail as he sobbed to having Wakasa answer the call for you, Kazutora crying in your arms and Shinichiro blaming himself for his own accident, the more you felt like losing yourself in his embrace, tightening your hold on his hand. “You left me there for a second I thought–”

“No.”

“What?”

“No, I’m–” you stuttered, “I don’t think I’m okay, I–”

Rejection after rejection, you’ve seen what felt like an infinite amount of his confessions go sideways, and yet he handled each and every one of them with grace. You’d attribute his resilience to the amount of first hand experience he’s had with it, and though at first it had taken a big toll on him. By now, rejection was nothing to him. He could make a fool of himself in front of anyone and he really wouldn’t care; he has told you so himself.

But you were not Shinichiro, and you could never be him.

You were resentful and impulsive, oftentimes reacting way before you think. You were impatient and whiny, though you tried your best to suppress that particular trait to no avail. You were a selfish, self-destructive being that somehow managed to keep the insecure neediness brewing inside on the down low.

And you could go on. You could go on because you were stubborn, volatile, melodramatic and a part of your brain really does think you were just setting yourself up for failure listing every single negative character trait that comes to mind. But it didn’t matter because that just further proves you're not Shinichiro Sano, that you were never going to be Shinichiro Sano because you were weak.

Too weak to answer the call, too weak not to try and escape uncomfortable situations, too weak to hold back the urge for a smoke, too weak to forgive Kazutora, too weak to confess your feelings for your best friend even after bawling your eyes out at the thought of a life without him.

Too weak, too weak, too weak.

Being weak is all you’ve ever known.

The thoughts poured and they wouldn’t stop, crashing against each other like the same bumper carts you rode along with Shinichiro at the funfair with your siblings. Back then, you were all smiles and laughter, and right now you wondered if the two of you would’ve held hands if it wasn’t for Emma sitting in the middle of you both.

And he was so warm next to you, not pressuring you to clarify whatever word-vomit you just spewed instead of a proper comeback. So sweet as he squeezed your hand to let you know he was there to help in whichever way he could to lull your worries to sleep. So kind as he took care of you when you should be the one taking care of him. Always so him.

You had no right to be a coward, at least not in front of one of the strongest and bravest people you’ve ever met. It wasn’t fair. Listing your flaws from the top of your head would never justify your body preventing itself from spilling the truth just so you could try and grasp at the fragile strings of self-pity to sew yourself back together as unspoken words necrotize your tongue.

The same way you wouldn’t dare look at him, you wouldn’t dare stay away from him. It’d kill you just to try. So fuck every martyrish thought in your head, fuck the burned cigarette butts stained with indirect kisses, fuck the many nights the two of you spent stargazing in his garden, the infinite amount of chocolates you bought him for valentine’s day to make up for the emptiness of his locker; and the countless times he had dropped everything he was doing for the chance to spend just a couple of minutes with you. Fuck the worn out red koi fish engraved on your lighter and the possibility of breaking the promise you two made of never straying away from each other.

“I can’t stay away from you,” you took a deep breath, “I think I’d rather die than live a life without you,

“The sole idea of losing you almost sent me over the edge, and even after you were out of surgery I was a mess,” you stopped yourself again, giving yourself the chance to swallow down the knot in your throat; it didn’t work. “I was going insane without being able to talk your ear off because even when I talk about something you couldn’t give a shit about you still give a shit, you give so many shits when it comes to me, too many,

“You’re loyal and gentle and charming and you’re always smiling, and it's like, it's like you're absolutely everything good and even then you genuinely have no idea how wrapped around your finger I truly am,

“And I don't think I’ve ever properly thanked you for existing because I don't think I’d be the same person I am right now if it wasn't for you, and even if I'm not perfect, I- I wouldn't trade myself for a better version if that meant you wouldn’t be in my life.

“So, yeah, I guess you’re right, I don’t think I can,” you let your shoulders sag, like the confession finally burned years upon years of cover-ups and excuses and fake scenarios you had come up with before bed stored in the darkest depth of your brain. “Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't be able to stay away from you.”

Pensive, he melted further against the pillows, letting his muscles melt at the sound of his own sighing. Even if you weren’t directly looking at him, you hear his smile reverberating throughout his body, and the sole idea of him possibly reciprocating your feelings made you impossibly giddy; a little too giddy. It was easy, after all, to get your hopes up once you lose yourself in him, his warmth and comfort. And for less than a second, you can see your hypothetical future with him pass right in front of your eyes, forcing you to accept a premature victory. But as the silence between the two of you started to drag itself out, you couldn't help but reluctantly welcome the acrid heartbreak tearing through your skin.

“I’m sorry,” you tensed up, “I shouldn’t have–”

“No, no, it's–,” he blurted out tongue tied as if your words had snapped him out of a trance, mirroring the same giddiness you had displayed with the same hint of hesitancy, “no one has talked about me like that, I guess it just caught me off-guard.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, I don’t– don’t think I'd be able to stay away from you either– not that I want to, of course it's just– sorry give me a minute.” Looking off to the side, he tried to collect himself, clearing his throat and pinching his cheeks, the skin already stained with all sorts of shades of pink. For him, it was inevitable not to become all shy and flustered, the least he could do was bite his tongue so as not to break into a fit of giggles, prevent himself from swinging his legs and twirling his short strands of hair like a lovesick middle schooler. All because of you. “Just, um, just to be clear before I look like an absolute fool, not that I don't look like an absolute fool on a daily basis, but this is a confession, right?”

You raised your head up in confusion, tilting your head and furrowing your brows. Had you not been so baffled by his self-explanatory question you would’ve fawned over this version of him, giddy and soft and in love with you because just by looking at his eyes you could tell he was looking at you like you hung the moon up in the sky—it was easy to decipher; after staring at him the exact same way countless times, you were bound to familiarise yourself with such display of devotion. And had he not looked this adorable, you would’ve teased him for being so painfully and hopelessly dense, but you didn’t have it in you to do so, only managing to nod in response.

“So you like like me?” He continued, waiting for your reassurance, either a nod or a smile, or any signal that he was right. “So you are in love with me?”

“I mean, I wouldn't say I'm in love but if that's what makes you sleep at night.” The more you stared at his face, the dimples on his cheeks, the creasing of his eyes at your words and the giggle he couldn’t help but contain, the wider the smile creeping at his lips became.

“Will you say it then?” He prodded, moving closer to you, now unable to hide the twinge of pink that grew what seemed like a thousand shades per second.

“I don’t know,” your legs innocently dangled from the side of the bed, trying to win back control of the situation by cutting down on your proximity, and sitting up properly from your half-lying position, “will I?”

“Please?” he begged, cupping one of your cheeks with the palm of his hand and pulling you closer until you could feel each other's breaths. His skin was warm against yours, the roughness of his palm from working non-stop at the shop offset by the tenderness he carried around for you.

And though you wanted to drag this on, enjoying the back and forth, you were so whipped for this man that you couldn’t stop your nonchalant act from crumbling as soon as you heard him once again let out a shy giggle after he nudged your nose with his.

“I love you.”

Voice dreamy and saccharine sweet, like confessing to your lifelong desire, you whispered, and just before your lips touched, through lidded eyes and uneven breath he whispered back ‘and I love you’.

After his own confession, you were unable to pay attention to anything that wasn’t him. All your senses were muted as his soft lips gilded against yours. The taste of the honey chapstick you applied almost compulsively melted against his tongue, and he wondered if like him, you could still faintly taste the strawberry chapstick you had gifted him a while ago; the same one he hadn’t stopped using since, going as far as asking the hospital staff to retrieve it from the pockets of the jeans he was wearing the day of the accident for him.

He bit back a whimper when he felt you bite down gently on his bottom lip, unable to ignore the way you smirk against the kiss once your hand makes its way up to the side of his neck to rest on his pulse point, in the perfect position to feel his heart doing somersaults underneath your touch. It made him want to melt right against you; the more you wandered down his body, the bigger the urge to hold you grew.

His calloused yet delicate fingers traced your skin, running from the apples of your cheeks down to your chin, coaxing you to fully give into him as he traced the tip of his tongue against your lips. He could feel himself grow hard once you gave him permission to enter, basking on the hidden whine you let out at the feeling of the warm muscle enveloping your whole body, drool pooling at the corner of both your lips.

Away from your face, he trails his hands slowly down your torso confidently ghosting the skin before the facade is broken the moment he almost freezes up once he gets to your chest. The blush on his cheeks deepened as you took notice of his apparent nervousness, laughing it off before he continued his path down to your hips,

He was sure he was ready to die right here in your arms the moment you softly suck on his tongue, his eyes almost rolling towards the back of his skull as you hands grazed his clothed dick. The teasing touch made him groan, the vibrations against your lips feeding the urge to get closer to him. And almost like he had read your mind, you shivered at the tight grip of his hips guiding you over lap until you were resting flush against him.

“‘Want you so bad.” He panted in between giggles, nudging your noses together and pecking your lips over and over again. You barely managed to catch your breath between his kisses; when he leaned away you pulled him in, and when you did so he tried to follow the path of your lips until they were once again interlocked with his. The two of you ignored the satisfying burn of your lungs like the feeling of your bodies close against each other was good enough of a replacement for oxygen itself. “–Waited so long for this.”

He pulled you down a little harder against him, bucking his hips against your. Mewling into the kiss, you wrapped both your arms around his shoulders, perhaps taking too much enjoyment in the minimal friction against your core. The sensation of him rutting desperately against you forced you to meet his attempts for more with an equal amount of want.

“You feel so good.” you cooed, whimpering as he sucked at the skin behind your ear. “Shin, Fuck, you’re so good at this.”

Before he could stop himself, he was groaning at the praise, peppering kisses along your jaw and neck and refusing to come back up to meet your lips to hide the raging blush tinting his skin, spreading from his cheeks up to his ears.

“You like that? Like it when I say you're doing a good job?”

He hummed, though it sounded more like a whimper, and waited no time to pull your face back against his, connecting your lips again in a messy kiss, to, presumably, stop you from teasing him. He took the opportunity to indulge himself, once again tracing the outline of your lower lip with his tongue and nipping at the supple skin in retaliation.

In spite of your own reluctance, you broke the kiss first, finding the way he tried to chase your lips with his eyes half-lidded in pleasure, indescribably cute. You took a minute to fully take in this version of him, his breath uneven and with a thin sheen of sweat making some of his black locks stick to his forehead. His lips were puffy, glistening with saliva as they part involuntarily in an enrapturing appetite.

He looked so pretty like this, you didn’t think you’d have it in you to control yourself.

Once you had lowered the sheets covering his legs, one of your thumbs proceeded to draw circular patterns on his exposed thigh, chuckling at the way he flinched before relaxing against you. Gently ghosting your fingernails over his skin, you hiked up his hospital gown until you had full access to the band of his boxers, toying with the elastic but doing nothing aside from that.

“You want to do this here?” He pulled back, eyes wide and dazed with need yet frazzled at your sudden boldness, as if nearly dry humping in a hospital wasn’t bold enough. His hands played with the hem of your shirt, sending shivers down your spine every time his fingers grazed your skin. He looked like a deer caught in headlines, a way cuter version of Bambi, and you couldn’t help but nuzzle your nose against his cheek before kissing him gently, once, twice, thrice.

“Only if you want to.”

“I do,” he swallowed, clearing his throat to keep himself lucid as he felt the tips of your fingers breaching the hem of his underwear, cold against the warmth of the covered skin. “Fuck, I really do, I need you s’bad I–”

“You fucking disgust me.”

Like a pair of surprised kittens, the sudden interruption had the two of you jumping away from each other, almost falling off the bed while desperately trying to pull the sheets back into place. In turn Shinichiro tried helping you regain your balance, grabbing your arm before you crashed against the floor, nearly pulling down one of the hospital monitors in the process.

“Don't you know how to knock?” You bit back, taking his comment more personally that you should’ve.

“Didn’t think it’d be necessary.” Wakasa crossed his arms in front of his chest, shifting the lollipop in his mouth from one side of his cheek to the other. Standing beside, Benkei held a teddy bear and a lavender flower arrangement, mixed along with baby’s breaths and eucalyptus. If anyone had to guess, the bewildered expression he sported only meant he’d rather have his friend die than see whatever blasphemous activities you were performing. But then again, he probably expected to see his friend bedridden and weak instead of the free front row tickets to your ‘dry humping a post-concussed Shinichiro’ expectale. “‘Thought the worst thing we’d come across was him sleeping.”

“Why did you think coming across me sleeping d’be the worst case scenario!?” Shinichiro butted in lightheartedly, though you wouldn’t rule out the possibility of him actually being serious. “Are you saying I look ugly when I sleep?”

“No, you dumbass,” Wakasa deadpanned; even with his usual unbothered facade you could tell he was grateful for the ordinary banter, questioning his stupidity with a hidden smile. “How’re we gonna talk to you if you’re asleep.”

“Wait, what happened? I didn't see,” Takeomi joined in, panting as he held a couple of balloons that had ‘it's a boy!’ written all over them. “These two assholes left me while I was getting something to eat.”

The two of you groaned at the sound of his voice, pressing the heels of your hands against while Shinichiro hid his eyes behind his forearm. Even if you wanted to be lowkey about the whole situation, sweep it under the rug to avoid facing the embarrassment over again, you knew you wouldn't be able to hide it from anyone, not even Takeomi, and he wasn’t the brightest.

Shinichiro’s hair was a tousled mess and his skin was dusted pink. Both of your lips were puffy, glistening under the fluorescent lights, and your breathing was uneven still. No matter how much the two of you tried to regulate it back to normal, it seemed to follow the rapid rhythm of each other’s heart beat.

“Nothing happened.” You grumbled, willing to attempt a lousy cover up in spite of your friend’s, including Shinichiro, giggling. Once he found out, it would be impossible for him to let it go. But even so, it took a lot of effort not to join in your friends’ laughter; it was funny to fuck with him—not literally—his puzzled frown as he borderline begged for someone to let him only feeding in your teasing. Still, once he found out. “We were just talking.”

“Yeah, talking about fuck–”

“Wakasa!” “Dude!”

The two of you exclaimed as the blond tilted his head to the side, making his earring jingle. A teasing smile stretched on his lips as the four of you waited for Takeomi to process what was just mentioned. Knowing the speed in which the neurons within his brain transported information, it’d take a little while.

To everyone’s surprise, it only took him a couple of seconds to do so. You could visibly see it in his expression, morphing into one of amazement the minute realisation hit him straight in the face

“Did’ya– No way, you finally fucked?” And though his lack of decorum made the two men beside him laugh louder and the two of you groan as if to muffle his voice, he paid your reaction no mind other than using it as an affirmative response to his question. “No way, congrats dude! Who would’ve thought you needed to almost die just to lose your virginity.”

“I hate you so much.” Shinichiro playfully complained, a stupid grin threatening to make its way onto his lips disproving his claim. Seeing his four best friends standing around him right after waking up from what could’ve been a tragic accident made him feel all sorts of things he found himself unable to explain. It almost made him want to cry once again—happy tears this time.

“Anyway, now that you’ve got someone to stay with,” you changed the topic, interrupting yourself to fix the stray hairs sitting on top of Shinichiro’s head before caressing his cheek with your thumb, “I’ll go check whatever Keisuke’s doing, I‘ll be back in a sec.”

“Wait no, don’t go…” You had to resist the urge to give him another quick peck at the way he dragged out the ‘go’, and instead, grabbed your phone from his bedside table to respond to the missed messages coming from your mom. “Don’t leave me with these people.”

“Very funny Shitty-chiro.” Takeomi fake laughed, letting himself fall on one of the chairs nearby, stretching his arms before fully slumping against the backrest and looking at you. “But’s fine, I left Haruchiyo in charge, Senju’s with them as well.”

“Well that doesn't make things any better, does it.” At your snapping voice, he raised his hands up in surrender, as if the idea of letting a 13 year-old in charge of two 12 year-olds didn't have multiple flaws. Doing a 180° turn, you turned towards Shinichiro, grabbing his hand and giving it a squeeze. “I’ll be quick, promise.”

“Wait, before you go,” Wakasa interrupted, stopping you from slinging your bag over your shoulder. He took the bright red candy out of his mouth with a pop, using it as a little wand to emphasise his speech, before he continued. “Who confessed first?”

“Yeah!” Takeomi sat at the end of his seat, gaze switching from Shinichiro to you and vice versa. “How did Shinichiro confess to ya’?”

Again, faster than the usual processing speed of his cognitive skills, he managed to string the hints together, gasping at the silence that settled between the two of you as you tried to silently decide who should say what. Shinichiro opened his mouth like a fish, as if trying to come up with something to appease his friend’s reaction before giving up and averting his eyes, pointing at you with his thumb.

Wakasa’s smirk only grew the more Takeomi seemed to sink back into the chair in dejection. “‘gotta pay up Omi-omi.”

The ruffling of bills and the complaints birthed out of the apparent loser’s mouth distracted you momentarily. You were about to laugh at the scene in front of you, two of them waiting with their hands stretched out as Takeomi reluctantly placed the wrong amount in his palm, grunting when Wakasa noticed it wasn’t the amount they had agreed on, before it clicked in your head.

“Pay up,” you mumbled to yourself, “Pay up, pay up? Wait, did you three bet on us?”

“Kinda,” Benkei sent you a reassuring smile, counting the hundred yen bills that were handed to him once again; when it came to money matters, Takeomi wasn’t someone you could trust. “We bet on who’d confess first.”

“And you didn’t bet on me?!” Shinchiro exclaimed, a little louder than he intended.

“Sorry man, ‘didn't have faith in you,” Wakasa folded the five crinkled bills in half before stashing them in his back pocket. “After your failed attempt I kinda accepted you weren’t going to win, Benkei was always betting against you, though.”

“But ‘ya admit it!” Takeomi jumped from his seat, waving his now empty wallet in the air like he was fencing with the worn out leather rectangle. “He did confess first!”

“Hell no, it only counts if it was a successful confession.”

“So the bet wouldn’t count if one of them got rejected? What's the point then!”

Wakasa groaned, pressing his temples with his thumb and middle finger, “It only counts if the two of them understand whatever was done was a confession.”

“But the lighter was him confessing!”

“Takeomi, that was the vaguest confession to ever be seen by the entirety of mankind.”

“What confession are you talking about…?” You interrupted the animated discourse with a question. In spite of enjoying the banter between your friends, you remained in the dark. Shinichiro had never confessed to you, or even remotely tried to do so. You were a hundred percent certain, after all, had he done so you were sure you’d be dating by now.

“The lighter you always carry around,” Takeomi responded, “the fish one.”

Instinctively, you patted the pocket where your zippo lighter sat, carefully trailing your thumb lightly over the red imprints as you pulled it out. It looked almost exactly the same way as it did during the summer festival. The only difference, aside from the way the metal reflected the cold hospital lights instead of fireworks and paper lanterns, were the couple of dents on the metal and the previously well-defined engraving softening over the years.

“S‘not just a fish,” Shinichiro chuckled, letting himself fall back on the bed while hiding his flustered state behind a seemingly lame explanation. At this rate, he was sure his skin could be permanently stained a pinkish-red. “It's a red koi fish.”

“Wait,” you snapped your head from the lighter to him, letting your mouth fall open in surprise, “you, you meant that?”

“What do you…mean?” Shinichiro poked, voice twisting and forcing the ‘mean’ to come out strained. Watching your shoulders tense up and, somehow, simultaneously relaxed made him wary of the whole situation, like the universe itself was playing a prank on him. And though unlikely, he wasn't ruling out the possibility of random cameras popping up from behind the door or through the window or maybe from underneath his bed with a huge poster reading ‘you’ve been pranked!’.

He had given you that lighter seven years ago, the engravings were probably faded by now, there was no way…

“Red koi fish mean romantic love, don’t they?”

It took him a couple of seconds to properly run your words through his brain, before his eyes widened in amusement mixed with the mild disappointment his seventeen year-old-self had forced himself to ignore after his confession had gone wrong. “You knew!?”

“Uh…yeah? We learned that in literature class.” You shrugged with a sheepish smile in an attempt to tame down the laughter that had started bubbling in your throat at his mortified reaction. He groaned at your response, throwing one of his arms over his eyes, the sound mixing with a cry as the movement pulled on the IV digging into his arm.

He licked his lips a couple of times and rubbed the skin above the needle in an attempt to soothe the ache. Stalling, he was trying to buy time before he asked anything that could potentially hurt him. “Why didn’t you say anything?” Aside from flustered and pouty, slightly amused at his own failed attempt, he appeared to be a little sullen, perhaps even sad. It was obvious to you, though you didn’t know why; maybe he was blaming himself for losing the opportunity to get in a relationship with you way earlier. Or, maybe he blamed himself for putting any sort of pressure on you; back then, he wasn’t a hundred percent sure how you felt about him, so maybe you had purposely ignored his advances because you didn't want him. But that couldn’t be it, could it? Less than a couple of minutes ago the two of you were confessing your love for each other, so if that were to be the case, when did your feelings for him start to change? “Did, uh, did you not like me back then?”

Looking at his hopeful yet gloomy expectant features, he appeared so small and vulnerable in front of you, you wanted to give him a hug. The question had visibly caught you off-guard, your brows furrowing as soon as he was done talking. Who would’ve thought that a seemingly innocuous event from your past would come back transformed into an apparent irrational insecurity. It prompted yet another silence upon the two of you. And though it felt eternal, it lasted only a couple of milliseconds, interrupted by both your annoyance and Takeomi munching on the chips he bought at an inflated price on one of the hospital’s vending machines.

“Do you mind?” You turned towards the obnoxious mistake you had chosen as a friend, snickering as he shrugged in questionable indifference, mumbling a muffled ‘go on’ before motioning you two to continue with a shake of his hand. But at the lack of positive feedback from anyone in the room he stopped himself to explain.

“What? It’s like watching a live romcom,” he shoved more chips into his mouth, “The ones we watch every friday, ‘ya know what I mean?”

“Okay,” Benkei clapped both his hands together, gathering everyone’s attention before he pulled Takeomi into a standing position and pushed both him and an amused Wakasa towards the door. “Seems like all of us are hungry, we’re heading to the cafeteria real quick, we’ll send Baji back up when we’re done, sounds good?”

“Sounds good, thanks, Benkei.” You smiled at him, watching the three of them leave and sighing in satisfaction when you saw the way the gentle-giant punched Takeomi’s arm once they were far enough for his complaints to appear silent. “But to answer your question,” you turned towards Shinichiro once again, sitting at the edge of the bed and resting your hand on top of his. You could see the way he visibly relaxed against your touch, the warmth of your skin coaxing his insecurities away little by little. “I did like you very much back then, too much for it to be considered healthy, I'm pretty sure…”

“Why didn’t you say anything then?”

“Well, I, you know,” you stumbled over your words, suddenly feeling the embarrassment for your younger self was all over you. Why didn’t you say anything? Well, in hindsight, you didn’t think Shinchiro had it in him to use a literary reference as a means of confession. Not because he was stupid, that was Takeomi's role, but because it was very un-Shinichiro. You had been witness to the countless failed confession attempts and nothing included anything as subtle and detailed as the lighter he had gifted you. Back then, he professed his brimming infatuation with an honest smile, the well-rehearsed question ‘would you go out with me?’ and absolutely nothing else. And though the ‘courting’ period included him acting all whipped and soft, he was usually very blunt when it came to asking people out, gentle but direct.

Although, thinking about it a little bit more in depth, he had always been very romantic, sometimes cringy with the shitty pick up lines, but during movie nights he had always chosen movies with clear romantic subplots, and you can recall that one romance poetry book he kept borrowing from the library, unable to finish it before returning it—at least that’s what you thought, by the amount of times he had taken it home.

When you were both in middle school and high school, he would watch couples holding hands with a gentle smile, sometimes going as far as spacing out and letting a dreamy sigh fall from his lips—he always brushed off the person asking the reason behind his sighing, but you were paying attention to him more often than not, so of course you knew—and of course, you couldn’t forget the many times he had shared hypothetical scenarios with the four of you, most of them consisting of him fantasising out loud the sort of dates he’d like to have with his hypothetical s/o or what he would do for them before being relentlessly teased by all of you.

So, in retrospect, him trying to confess through a pretty much evident symbol extracted from one of your favourite books was a very un-Shinichiro, Shinichiro thing to do, if that made any sense.

“I think…I might’ve gaslit myself into believing it was a coincidence, didn't wanna get my hopes up.”

“I thought, I– I thought it was pretty obvious that I liked you.” He chuckled, scooting to the side in order to make more space for you to lay, next to him, the same you had done most of the days you had spent here. “Everybody knew I did.”

“Wait, really? I thought you were being friendly!” You let out a laugh, watching him soften up even more at your obliviousness and simultaneously hold back laughter of his own. “Don’t laugh at me! You were flirtier with Wakasa than with me!”

“You can’t blame me!” He finally laughed along with you, interlocking your fingers together and pulling you close until you were squished next to him, and waited for you to get comfortable before continuing his spiel. “Waka’s my best friend, we’ve always been like that, and you know it.” He nuzzled his cheek against your head, muttering the words in the quietest way possible, like he didn’t want to be heard by anyone but you. “Plus I couldn't flirt with you, I'd blush and cry afterwards.”

“Yeah, I’d’ve cried if you flirted with me as well.”

“Hey!”

“I mean it in a good way! Happy tears or whatever.” You sighed with a giddy grin, caressing his cheeks with the back of your hand before smushing them together, forcing a pout and giving him a quick peck on the lips. “I promise I’ll forever be in love with you.”

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juyomiao · 9 months

Text

Only ONE - sung hanbin x gn!reader

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

17 ☆ love bomb

< prev | masterlist

chapter warnings : boring , chae threatens hanbin's life at some point , ynbin being so sweet n healthy its sickening

☆ note: aaand with this very boring n underwhelming chapter , only one finally comes to an end (not all hope is lost , tho , as much as i hated writing it at times im so emotionally attached to this series i might consider a little epilogue/spin-off chapter) . AND i managed to squeeze in the haoyn beef explanation ?? tbh when i first posted it i kind of expected it to do fairly well (the boys planet smau writers demographic was like 10 ppl at best back then) but i did not expect it to do this well n singlehandedly gain me almost 500 followers . thats crazy insane bonkers . why am i getting kind of emotional writing this i dont think listening to light the way by cravity was a good idea . anyways , im sorry by the end of it i kind of lost the 'spark' that made this fic good - i couldn't even get to 20 chapters ffs - writing it was more of a chore than a fun little hobby for me n at times it made me genuinely anxious to the point of crying/getting nauseous . yes user li juyomiao is fucking insane but hey ! im alright now i promise ! jumping right into another series is probably not the smartest thing to do but im so excited abt it n i really really want to branch out into writing for other groups n the idea i had was so so good ,, i'll learn from my mistakes n write a few chapters in advance so i can take it easy n not pressure myself , tho :] thank u to everyone who supported only one until its very last chapter !! this authors note is long asf so if u read it all heres a dumpling for u my lovelies 🥟 thats it , li out‼️‼️ (im fr getting emotional good lord help me)

☆ SYNOPSIS: sung hanbin is everyone's dream guy: perfect grades, perfect looks, perfect personality, he has it all. he's even class AND student council president! everyone loves him, and you, as his vice-president, are no exception to that. having been in love with him since you were 12, you try to tone down your feelings "for the sake of professionalism" and claim it's simple admiration for someone who objectively has no flaws. but there is one small detail you missed, in all these years admiring him: he has an even bigger crush on you.

☆ TAGLIST: (italics = couldn't tag) @hananovi @soobeaniee @idkwatodoanymore @huipinkhair @homohoons @rikitachquita @lethalvenus @sunoksunny @tocupid @deafeningtyrantmilkshake @winteringdream @ikeryn @ilovechanhee @thesiriusmap @heelanat @baekstans @blaycke @vernonfernandez @8turning @yeolsbestie @asteroidchenle @hvnyujiq @hikyeom @r4innoms @enhypen-scholarship @sulkygyu @meowrinz @rikimylove @ridinhyuck @lumixen @neohyxn @ceanairy @beomibeom @cherriegyu @sunwcloud @k4hzuhas @annoyingbitch83 @stickersim @dreamyyn @anawesomeaquatic @softforjungwoo @utopiakys @247hrs @sunswoonie @minhui896 @chanhee-hee @nxurxn @peachysohn @kpoprhia @haesunflower

#☆ li writes #☆only one☆#boys planet x reader #boys planet scenarios #boys planet smau #boys planet fic #boys planet social media au #boys planet fluff #zb1 smau #zb1 fluff #zb1 scenarios #zb1 x reader #zb1 #zerobaseone #boys planet #sung hanbin

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satoruluvies · 18 days

Note

first angst drabble!! i cannot write angst without tryna cryy :(

okk here it goes HELP srry this took while say i had go school to catch up works i miss when sick

imagine nanami sending you texts every time when he goes out for mission it start with "hey how are you?" and at night he give you heads up "mhm comin home late." it's always was a routine, one mission was going be his very last he text you sweet messages how he Forgot kiss the kids good Moring since he went early but he promise to you when he comes back he give them a sweetest night kiss, you guys texted back and fought before he had to go, he sent you a message d before he had to go, you were to focus on the Kids you didn't see it pop up, minutes went hours you were so worried you texted your husband wondering where he is, you saw a text that you missed "if anything happens, I love you." you reply back "promise?" why reply to someone who not on earth anymore?

WHHE2321MNEWD

(this was a diff idea i wanted when everyone was using reader and when she finds a boyfriend, Gojo he just like the same and uses her too tell me if u want this drabble to i thought it was bit mean!!)

-🐱 anon

honestly could go a little something like-

the day starts with the lovely morning text from your husband as usual, smiling to yourself at the endearment he called you and the apology saying he forgot to kiss your lovely daughter before he left. he'd make up for it when he arrive though, you had no doubt.

checking your phone right after you wake up to read your husband's text was your daily routine even before kento became your husband. it just didn't feel like your morning was complete without doing so.

this particular morning however, you find yourself crying for a reason you can't find yourself to pinpoint.

you: i think my period is coming, im getting emotional for no reason. come kiss me better when you arrive!

✓ 6.54 am

you set your phone down and take a moment to bask in the small rays of light falling from your windows into your room and sigh, wiping your tears away. you could really use morning kiss right now.

"mama!" your daughter scurried over to your bed and threw her tiny body over yours earning a giggle from both your mouths. you place a chaste kiss on her forehead and a second one, for kento. it was a charming moment until your daughter's smile disappeared.

"mama are you crying again?" you find your hands rubbing away the tears that happened to run down your cheeks. what is up with that?

"momma's fine, baby. how about we surprise papa with his lunch today? he forgot to give you your morning kiss hm?" you tuck her hair behind her ears, her own eyes slowly turning teary.

"you're doing it again" she pulls away from your hold, a frown now found itself on her adorable face.

"doing what baby?"

"talking like ... like papa is still here. i don't like it."

that's when it hit you. her papa, your husband wasn't here anymore. you knew it, you do but somehow it does not make sense. how could nanami be dead when you've just received your morning text like you always used to when he was here?

you scrambled among your sheets desperately searching for your phone to prove to yourself, more than anyone, that nanami was alive and well. of course he has to be.

however you were only met with disappointment and that nauseating feeling of jumping off somewhere high when you opened your chats to his number.

you: i think my period is coming, im getting emotional for no reason. come kiss me better when you arrive!

[message not sent. this number is no longer in use.]

! 6.54 am

ah. it wasn't for no reason that you were emotional first thing in the morning. it was your body mourning for the love of your life that your mind forced itself to forget about his death.

omg this concept of reader imagining/hallucinating beloved used to be one of my favourite tropes!! pls the way my world paused when i read your drabble because i knew it was angst but i didn't know it was about THIS topic crying crying

also im so glad to know you're better now, enough to go to school hehe i hope the workload isn't too heavy to catch up on <3

#😺 anon #seriously i mourn over kento at least once a day lately #i miss my husband #jjk angst #nanami x reader #nanami x you #nanami angst #jjk drabbles

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hannie-dul-set · 6 months

Text

— arranged by: member (eldest to youngest) | date (latest to oldest) | type (full-length to drabbles to blurbs) i don’t recommend reading my older works because they’re terrible. still putting them on here for the sake of bookkeeping | last updated: 23.12.18

BLUE HYDRANGEAS. wherein this time, it’s your breath that gets taken away and not the other way around.

PAIRING. lee taeyong x reader. GENRE. romance, humor, light angst, and of course the overall theme of the event — dumbassery (this time, by y/n), florist! taeyong, contract killer! reader. WARNINGS. murder, death i mean lol, violence, swearing, mentions of blood, knives, & guns. WORD COUNT. 2.2k.

MISSED TIMINGS. drabble game; “do i look like i’ve moved on?”

PAIRING. lee taeyong x reader. GENRE. post breakup! au, angst. WARNINGS. swearing. WORD COUNT. 887.

CAUGHT RED HANDED. all you wanted to do was take a picture of the handsome law student during your train ride home. you did not expect things to end up like this.

PAIRING. kim doyoung x reader. GENRE. fluff, humor. WARNINGS. swearing. WORD COUNT. 804.

A FOOL’S GAME. were you the fool for being blind to his intentions? or was it he who forgot what his intentions were in the first place?

PAIRING. jung jaehyun x reader. GENRE. royal! au, drama, romance, angst, slight comedy. WARNINGS. swearing, mentions of death. WORD COUNT. 27.4k.

CONTRARIETY & CONFLUENCE. there was not an instance in your life where your judgement was proven to be mistaken— especially with regards to infatuations outside of your own. after an unpredicted introduction with a far too remarkable farm boy, you took it upon yourself to find a suitable match for him, not realizing that perhaps this time; your usual correct judgements might have been incorrect.

PAIRING. jung jaehyun x reader. GENRE. emma! au, matchmaking! au, strangers to lovers! au, slowburn, period romance, humor, one suggestive scene, very very tiny angst. WARNINGS. implied and borderline smut. WORD COUNT. 16.9k.

[doctor! au] [richkid! au] [sugardaddy! au] [bf discourse] [bf discourse]

PUT A FINGER DOWN. wherein mark lee finds you drunk for the first time and promises to himself that he should make sure that you never get wasted ever again.

PAIRING. mark lee x reader. GENRE. college! au, humor, fluff, suggestive, drunken mistakes that would probably make you cry in real life. WARNINGS. swearing, alcohol consumption, mature content (sexual & explicit jokes about fingers and — u get the gist) please read at your own discretion. WORD COUNT. 1.6k.

BIBINGKA. legend says that if you finish all nine night masses of simbang gabi, your wish will be granted. mark only hopes that it’s actually true because that’s his last chance in getting you to notice him (but wait— shouldn’t his wish only come true after the nine days?)

PAIRING. mark lee x reader. GENRE. christmas! au, crush! au, lots of fluff, mark is a piner, mark is also very awkward, some filipino references and customs. WARNINGS. swearing, religious themes. WORD COUNT. 6.9k.

HOW TO GET THE GUY. drabble game; “why haven’t you kissed me yet?”

PAIRING. mark lee x reader. GENRE. college! au, friends to lovers! au, fluff, humor. WARNINGS. swearing. WORD COUNT. 1.2k.

IS IT BECAUSE YOU’RE ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT ME? video call with your best friend, mark lee.

PAIRING. mark lee x reader. GENRE. long distance (not so relationship) relationship, mutual pining, angsty themes. WARNINGS. none. WORD COUNT. 428.

[hotsauce! au] [bf discourse] [bf discourse] [coworkers! au]

DO YOU WANT ME (DEAD)? murder and making out.

PAIRING. huang renjun x reader. GENRE. high school! au, suggestive. WARNINGS. attempted murder, mentions of blood and self injury, veryy descriptive kissing, mc has a few screws lost, swearing, depictions of unstable behavior. WORD COUNT. 1.8k.

[friends to lovers! au] [skater! au] [skater! au] [tough love! au] [mermaid! au] [tutor! au]

I (HAVE/HAD) A CRUSH ON YOU. running into a past crush at your best friend’s birthday party wouldn’t have been so bad if he wasn’t— well— all that.

PAIRING. lee jeno x reader GENRE. crush! jeno, college! au, rom-com, mildly suggestive moments. WARNINGS. swearing, smoking, mentions of dicks and balls (sorry), an awful amount of men and boys being boys. WORD COUNT. 5.8k

I’LL TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT AND NO ONE ELSE’S. maybe snooping through your friend’s phone wasn’t that much of a good idea. or maybe it was. either way, you didn’t regret it.

PAIRING. lee jeno x reader. GENRE. friends to something, fluff, lots of bickering. WARNINGS. swearing, invasion of privacy(?) lmao. WORD COUNT. 2.1k.

IT’S FOR YOU. all it took was the heavy rainfall from the sky to clear up your misunderstandings.

PAIRING. lee jeno x reader. GENRE. e2l (sort of), fluff. WARNINGS. swearing. WORD COUNT. 1.5k.

[ceo! au] [spacecore! aesthetic] [hotsauce! au] [bf discourse]

KATHANG ISIP. musings of the mind and heart are always dangerous— it’s easy to get carried away and get lost in your made up scenarios, rose colored wishes, and fleeting daydreams of what you thought would be. that is until reality hits you like the crashing of an ocean’s waves.

PAIRING. lee donghyuck x reader. GENRE. roommates! au, college! au, brief roadtrip! au, angst, fluff, humor. also let’s pretend hyuck cannot drive and that his hometown is elsewhere for the sake of plot, thanks. WARNINGS. swearing, alcohol consumption, one descriptive kissing scene, lots and lots of overthinking. WORD COUNT. 19.8k

DATING 101. drabble game; “you’re not very intimidating”.

PAIRING. lee donghyuck x reader. GENRE. highschool! au, fluff, slight suggestive, slight humore, wannabe badboy! haechan. WARNINGS. swearing. WORD COUNT. 678.

SHAMELESS. drabble game; “did you just— did you just kiss me?” “yeah” “do it again”.

PAIRING. lee donghyuck x reader. GENRE. enemies! au, fluff, humor, co-worker! haechan. WARNINGS. swearing. WORD COUNT. 997.

[grunge! aesthetic] [lipstick! au] [bf discourse]

CAN’T HANDLE THIS. how are you supposed to explain that you and na jaemin started dating just to prove each other wrong and ended up catching feelings.

PAIRING. na jaemin x reader. GENRE. strangers to lovers, college! au, matchmaking! au, yet another richkid! au, jaemin is an asshole again, romance, humor. WARNINGS. excessive swearing, a near death experience, drinking and smoking, more than a handful of illegal shit, mentions of vomit, blood, violence, too much sexual tension it’s unhealthy, again jaemin is kind of a dick but he’s an attractive dick, jaemin also likes it when you tell him his personality is trash. WORD COUNT. 16k.

IT TAKES FOUR YEARS TO GROW A PEACH TREE. humans are fickle in nature— it takes a great deal of patience, fortitude, and devotion to have a heart that remains constant. that or having an absolute tolerance for all pain and torment that comes in exchange.

so when you are once again met by the ex-boyfriend that you’ve desperately avoided for four years after tearing up his heart, it becomes a test of how much you can endure, and how much more you’re willing to endure after realizing that you’re still in love with him when his love has already been weathered down.

PAIRING. na jaemin x reader GENRE. exes to lovers! au, college! au, romance, angst, fluff, humor, hurt/comfort, SLOW AS FUCK BURN, pining, lots of pushing and pulling, the “its always been you” trope, a modern retelling-ish of jane austen’s persuasion. WARNINGS. swearing, heartbreak, alcohol consumption, parental pressure, stress and anxiety, one scene with a nosebleed, jaemin is kind of a dick in the beginning, mentions of hospitals, one scene with a creep, one makeout scene, ghosting, breakup, a lot of me projecting. WORD COUNT. currently 54k.

ARAW-ARAW. mahiwaga— someone or something that you’ll choose every single day no matter the circumstance. and for you, that was na jaemin. even if time decides to set you apart.

PAIRING. na jaemin x reader. GENRE. childhood friends to lovers! au, college! au, romance, slow-ish burn, fluff, humor, tiny angst, biology major jaemin and art major mc HEHE. WARNINGS. excessive swearing, insecurities, some sex jokes LMAO, i project a lot in this i’m sorry JSFJG. WORD COUNT. 14.5k.

US, AGAIN. they say history repeats itself, but you’d like to disagree. you had to disagree. history changes, even if you had to force it. but when all your attempts to twist fate were met by nothing but the flashing recurrences of the past, what were you supposed to do?

or, wherein you try everything in your power to have nothing to do with na jaemin, but na jaemin wants nothing but you.

PAIRING. na jaemin x reader. GENRE. college! au, historical! au, soulmate! au, past lives, forbidden love stuff, reincarnation, romance, drama, humor, angst, fluff, looots of flashbacks, this is an entire kdrama, very loosely inspired by the webtoon “see you in my 19th life”. WARNINGS. (updated as the series goes on) character death/s, night terrors, murder, terminal illness, hospital mentions, gun mentions, inaccurate depictions of the joseon era for the sake of plot lmao. WORD COUNT. currently 4.9k.

TOP OF THE WORLD. things had always been the same in the world of na jaemin— him sitting on a throne above everyone else. that was the natural order. but the world as jaemin knew it began to shake after a few fated encounters with someone at the bottom of the food chain.

PAIRING. na jaemin x reader. GENRE. private school! au, one sided e2l lmao, a dash of fake dating, romance, heavily suggestive themes, lots and lots of sexual tension and power dynamics. WARNINGS. bullying (lots of it), public humiliation, mildly nsfw, borderline smut, implied smut, swearing, jaemin being a literal asshole. WORD COUNT. 15.6k.

HOSTILITY. making out with the person you hate the most.

PAIRING. na jaemin x reader. GENRE. suggestive, stageplay! au. WARNINGS. making out, swearing, reader tells jaem to k himself, reader spits on jaem’s face and he does something…questionable. WORD COUNT. 438.

DO IT AGAIN. maybe you should have paid more attention to your boyfriend. he isn’t always petty, but he has his limits.

PAIRING. na jaemin x reader. GENRE. fluff, established relationship! au. WARNINGS. alcohol consumption, kissing. WORD COUNT. 576.

DON’T THINK, JUST DO. an overthinker, a piece of advice, a sudden confession, and a subtle meltdown.

PAIRING. na jaemin x reader. GENRE. high school! au, f2l, fluff, humor. WARNINGS. swearing. WORD COUNT. 1.6k.

WHAT BEST FRIENDS DO. drabble game; “i need a hug”.

PAIRING. na jaemin x reader. GENRE. high school! au, maybe secret relationship! au, fluff, light humor. WARNINGS. swearing, mentions of food. WORD COUNT. 988.

[secret agents! au] [richkid! au] [boyfriend! au] [neighbor! au] [spiderman! au] [softcore! aesthetic] [racer! au] [vampire! au] [bf discourse] [bf discourse] [best friends to lovers! au] [reincarnation! au]

[taeil bf discourse] [johnny royal! au] [yuta punk! aesthetic] [yuta bf discourse] [kun richkid! au] [jungwoo royalcore! aesthetic] [jisung bf discourse]

NCT & WAYV MASTERLIST. © hannie-dul-set.

#only a fourth of these are good btw #masterlist

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ador3sturniolo · 10 months

Note

omg can u write about angst w/ the song drivers license w matt or chris when they broke up w the reader but they end up going back to her place to be like i miss u and either she rejects him on the spot or is like i’ll think about it

“Please?”

An - Ahh!! Thank you for the request! I hope I can do as close to what you wished for!

Paring - Matt sturniolo X Fem!Reader

Summary - Matt breaks up w/ reader

Warnings - angst, Cursing, Mentions of ed, Kissing, NOT PROOFREAD, Hope I didn’t miss anything!

Word count - 1.2k ishhh

“Fuck!” Matt shouted.

“Matt it’s okay, we can work on it.” I spoke up a little scared to hear what comes next.

“I just don’t think we can. I think we need to break up.”

Those were the word you most did not want to hear.

“I just can’t keep having to deal with you.”

I felt a tear drip down my cheek.

“Okay..” I say looking down making my way out his door.

“Just fucking leave!” He shouted throwing up his hands.

“What the fuck do you think I’m doing Matt!?” I say rushing out of there going down to my car. I start my car with a river streaming down my puffy cheeks. I sob as I slowly leave the driveway, checking both ways of the road.

I’m almost home and still crying, my hands are shaky and my vision is blurry, that I pull over on the side of the road to finish crying so I can see clearly. I pull into my driveway, getting out of my car, tiredness filled my eyes as I walked through my house. I don’t even care about changing or taking off my makeup, I just lie down in my bed, falling asleep as soon as I close my eyes.

I couldn’t stop think about Matt the next morning. I didnt eat that entire day, laying in my bed crying all day is all did and wanted to do, and I did that for a couple days, not wanting to leave my bed or do anything.

2 weeks later

I wake up with mascara stains on my pillow case, my hair a mess, and my house dirty. I haven’t eaten in a while, and still no texts or calls from Matt. Chris and Nick text me once in a while to make sure I’m doing okay. I stand up and walk to my kitchen, grabbing a bowl of cereal, sitting down turning on my tv. I see that The sturniolos posted a new video, I click on it to see Matt with a big smile the whole video. It’s not fair that he gets to be all happy while I’m out here, not happy. I finish eating, putting my bowl in the sink and running back to my room to get my headphones and phone. Clicking on my cleaning playlist, I started to clean my house. Washing my clothes and bedding, sweeping my dirty floors, picking up trash just laying around vacuuming my carpets. It was night when I was done, even though my house was clean, I was still upset, think that cleaning would make it better but it didn’t. I lay down in my bed closing my eyes, before getting up to take a shower, which I haven’t done from the past weeks.

I get in the shower letting the water hit my dirty skin. I turn off the lights in my bathroom so I’m showering in the dark. I couldn’t tell if it was the water or that I started crying. I cry as I wash my hair and body. I get out the shower, clean. Looking at myself in the mirror, my eyes all red and puffy.

“Get your fucking life together” I tell myself in the mirror. I do my skin care and get into a clean pair of pjs. I cute up some watermelon and get a glass of water, and take a picture and posting it on my instagram story. Healing 🤍 I title it, letting people know I’m okay.

2 more weeks later

I decide to be a little crazy and put myself on tinder. I set up my account and go to bed right after thinking nothing of it.

I wake up to a couple guys that liked me, they were cute too! I messaged back one of the guys. We get a conversation going and he wants to take me out to dinner tonight. I smile bright at my phone and a get up and start to get ready for our date. I play my favorite songs as i get ready. I start to think to myself how I’m happy now then I was before.

I put on my favorite red dress that highlights all my curves and black heels. I looks at my phone to see that he texted me saying he was here. I walk out my door and get in his car.

Matts POV :

“It’s been a little over a month since I broke up with her..” I spoke up to Chris.

“Do you think she’s doing okay?” I ask Chris. He nods.

“She is. I still text her. She has a date tonight, so I think she’s moved on.” Chris states.

I was in a state of shock. There’s no way she could have gotten over me that quickly. I get up off the couch and head to my room. I’ve been pretty miserable without her these past couple of days, I thought I was fine. I want her back. She still has to have some feelings, right?

Reader POV :

“It’s now been two months from the first date I went on with him. He’s such a nice guy and we have so much in common. We’ve been on more dates and I have another one with him tonight.” I write in my diary before I get up to get ready.

After the date

“Thank you for tonight.” I say as pulls up to my house.

“No problem pretty.” He says as he pulls me in for a kiss.

Making out for at least two minutes, I pull back.

“Did I do something wrong?” He spoke up

“No, just think we can save this for another time” I wink as I step out of the car.

We wave at each other as he drives off. I walk up my driveway, smiling as I look down at my feet. I bump into a body as I look up.

“Matt? What are you doing here? Are you okay? It looks like you’ve been crying” I say concerned look up at him.

“I miss you. I’ve been so miserable without you. I need you back in my life, I want you as mine again.” He said through sniffles.

“Matt..” I hesitated

“Please?” He said looking down at me begging.

“fuck” I whisper

“Im so sorry to do you like this when your in this state, but no. Im sorry but Ive moved on okay? I think it’s time for you to aswell. We need to meet different people. I know we had a past together but I don’t want to continue it. We can still be friends?” I said making eye contact with him, cupping his cheeks.

I could tell he wanted to cry so I pulled him in for a hug.

“I’m sorry.” I whisper as he wraps his arms around my waist and cry’s.

“Did you walk here?”

He nods as he wipes his nose.

“Okay I’ll drive you home, just let me go get my keys” I say as I rush inside for my keys and walk back out to him.

The ride was silent the whole way.

“Okay we’re here, do you want me to walk you in?” He shakes his head no. “Okay then. Matt?”

“Hm?” He says turning towards me.

“Just know you can talk to me about anything, you can text or call me, we can hangout, whatever you want, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you, I’ll see you later.” He says as he walks away.

I smile at him as I drove off. I take a deep breath as I pull into my driveway. I go inside and get unready from my day and go to bed.

I’m being woke up by my phone ringing. It’s Matt. I pick up.

“Matt?”

—————————————————————

An - Hi guys! Thank you guys for the support on my last story! I hope this one is just as good as my other one! Sorry if it’s not sad enough, for y’all : ( I love reading it, but I’m not the best at writing it so bare with me 🤍

#matt sturniolo #sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #the sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo edit #christopher sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #angst #tinder

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minkkumaz · 11 months

Note

hi omg your riwoo fic... TEARS WERE SHED... if you're open to requests can i request an angst sungho fic (with fluffy ending though) HSJSHSH thank u

TALK TO THE WALL

fighting with sungho was tiring, and it's not something you normally do. when things get a little hard to handle, maybe you just need to step out and see what happens in the morning.

PAIRING park sungho x fem!reader WC 0.6k TAGS established relationship. angst. fluff. fighting. yelling. making up. OMI NOTE omg hi anonn i hope this was good for you. whenever i think of angst with happy ending i always think of couples fighting LOL

maybe you understood the true meaning of eternity, as you had been arguing with sungho for the past hour or two. it didn’t end, and his words continued to cut you deep, leaving a gash of things he didn’t know could come out of his mouth.

it was silly really, couldn’t you understand that he was busy? so why did it feel like he was ignoring you on purpose? you wondered if the spark between the two of you finally became dull like a burnt out match.

the louder he got, the quieter he became. to be honest, you had stopped listening.

“why can’t you just listen to me, y/n! i’m tired, i can’t deal with this right now.” he shouted at your shaky figure.

“i didn’t ask you to deal with shit, sungho! i haven’t seen you in so fucking long is it so wrong to ask for some time with you?” you cry out.

“i just can’t keep dedicating my world to you y/n, i need time for myself too.”

“but it’s been months. when was the last time we went on a date? when was the last time we cuddled? fuck i even forgot what it felt like to kiss you. don’t you understand how frustrating that is?”

“god this is so stupid. you were never this clingy what the hell happened?” he groaned, running a hand through his sleek black hair, still a bit messy from his long day.

“oh, so now i’m clingy? is that what i get for missing my stupid boyfriend?” you choke out, wiping tears with your already wet sleeve.

“don’t make me feel like the bad guy, y/n.”

“i’m not trying to make you feel anything except for maybe a little sympathy for how i’m feeling.” you bit the flesh inside your cheek.

“you just don’t get it, do you?” he scoffed.

“talk to a fucking wall, sungho.” you storm off into your shared room, making sure to lock the door behind you. anything he said to you while you turned away from him didn’t settle in your head.

more tears fell down your flushed cheeks as you snuck into the covers, muffling your sobs with the white sheet. things weren’t always like this, in fact, they were never like this. you didn’t want to imagine your everyday life without seeing his handsome face.

sleep came easy as you felt numb. no knock on the door, no sign of life outside of your bedroom. you wondered if he left you and you’d come out to an empty apartment.

the next morning you woke up with a raging headache, and the light from your blinds illuminating your post cry glow. sungho’s smell already began to disappear from the pillows after one night, this stung your heart a little.

rubbing your puffy eyes, you slowly got up from your bed and trudged to the door. there was something blocking light on the otherside, but you were surprised to see sungho fall backwards upon opening. he shot awake, looking around before meeting you.

“baby why are you sleeping at the door? don’t you have practice?” you muttered.

“i told jaehyun i wouldn’t make it today. we’re not supposed to go to bed angry, my love. i didn’t want to leave you alone..”

“so we can continue our argument? no thanks.” you tried to push his body out of the doorframe but he wouldn’t move, instead standing to meet you.

“i don’t like it when we argue, y/n. i was out of line and should’ve took a second to consider things from your perspective.” he takes his hands up to your swollen face, frowning as you furrow your eyebrows.

“i just missed you, a lot.”

“you deserve so much, and i’m sorry i haven’t been able to give that to you recently. let me make it up to you today, pretty.” he kisses your forehead before pulling you into a hug. “love you, sung. please let’s talk and not yell next time.” you sigh at the familiar scent embracing you once again.

“never in a million years would i yell at you again.”

© 2023 minkkumaz, all rights reserved support your writers by reblogging + giving feedback! it is greatly encouraged and appreciated. thank you! → why feedback + reblogging is so important. ~ (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ if you'd like, donate to minkkumaz !

#⋆｡˚ my works #park sungho x reader #sungho x reader #sungho fluff #sungho imagines #sungho boynextdoor #boynextdoor sungho #boynextdoor x reader #boynextdoor drabbles #boynextdoor scenarios #boynextdoor headcanons #boynextdoor fluff #boynextdoor angst #boynextdoor #kpop x reader #kpop fanfic #boynextdoor fanfic

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nickfowlerrr · 2 years

Text

pretty when you cry - chapter two

series masterlist / chapter three

*originally posted to @bellareadsandrecs on 02/08/22*

pairing: dark!biker!bucky x curvy!reader (dark!soulmate au)

pretty when you cry - lana del rey

warnings: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat. body insecurities. mentions of paranoia. anxiety, panic attacks, humiliation. NONCON/DUBCON smut. mean!bucky. loss of virginity. 18+ ONLY.

words: 4.1k

notes: : i really want to get into bucky’s thought process and get into the truth of his motives here but i’m not sure how to approach it.. i’m considering like maybe rewriting some chapters from bucky’s perspective if i can’t incorporate it into the current narrative but let me know what you guys think about that!

again, i always do my best to tag appropriately, but if you find i’m missing anything, please do not hesitate to let me know! as usual, feedback is always appreciated 💘

This is a DARK series!!! Please proceed with abundant caution.

It was when you finally pulled into your driveway and stepped out of your car that you noticed the motorcycle drive by. That’s just a really fucked up coincidence, you thought to yourself as you cautiously walked up the driveway to your front door as you watched it pass.

You got inside and cried. You showered. And then allowed yourself to cry even more. After tiring yourself out, you went to grab food but only found dry pasta, an unopened jar of spaghetti sauce, and your last pack of saltines - which you almost grabbed but thought better of. Deciding that it’d be too much effort to make the pasta, you made the short trip back to your room. You’d be getting paid tomorrow anyway, so you could go grocery shopping in the morning. You then got ready for bed as you put on your comfort show and fell asleep.

Morning came and went and you finally woke up to the light shining into your room in the early afternoon. You checked your bank to make sure your direct deposit was there and then Venmo’d your landlord your rent before quickly getting ready for the day and headed to the grocery store.

You didn’t need a lot, not that the small supermarket had all that much to offer anyway. You always preferred this store though, not only was it usually pretty dead but it also helped you save money seeing as there wasn’t much you could splurge on. You grabbed your necessities and made your way to the checkout. Luckily self checkout was open because you really weren’t in the mood for any human interaction. You quickly purchased your items and loaded your cart with your bags. You walked out with your groceries, loaded your trunk, walked the cart back to its home, taking notice of the desolate lot you found yourself in. Mondays were always good to you. No rush, no work, no worries. You loved the peace that you often found on these days. Where you could go driving around, running errands or even just going to get coffee. Playing your music loudly and singing at the top of your lungs before heading home and lounging for the rest of whatever you had left of the day.

There was a time you remembered sulking your off days away. Feeling sad and lonely. Always so desperate for change, but never allowing any to take place. You laughed under your breath at yourself. You always felt such a strong sense of longing, like something or someone was missing from your life. But that longing was what kept you so held down. When you finally decided to stop focusing on your lack, you allowed a lot more happiness and peace into your life. No more waiting on some grand event to take place and change everything, no more waiting on some knight in shining armor to come sweep you off your feet. Now you were.. Content. Some days were harder on you than others, sure, but most were good. You were good. Exactly as you were, you were okay.

Smiling to yourself, you made your way back to your car and upon checking the time you saw it was nearing 4pm.

You decided to take the 20 minute drive to the other end of town to visit Norman’s and probably pick up something for dinner. You knew Eva would be working today and she’d be able to get your order done quickly. You called it in and Eva assured you it’d be ready for you when you got there. Once you arrived, you saw her standing out front of the diner with a takeout bag in hand. She gave you an unease smile as she saw you approaching and you quirked a brow at her. She nodded her head to the side of the building, causing you to look toward that direction. That’s when you saw the line of motorcycles that were parked against the side of the building. Your face fell and you felt ill at ease. Why would they be here? They had never been there before- at least not when you were working. Eva approached your car and you rolled your window down.

“Hey,” she gave you a sympathetic smile. “I’m really sorry- I would have told you they were around but they got here literally right after we hung up. And… I don’t want to freak you out or anything, but, one of them asked for you. Like, by name. I didn’t say anything - but he obviously knows you work here. I wasn’t sure if you knew him or not. I thought, I don’t know, maybe you met him on your shift last night or something.”

“Uhm, wh-who was it, do you know?”

“Tall, gruff, intimidating. Dark hair, blue eyes. And as much as I hate to say it, almost unbearably attractive. Didn’t get his name, though. He left a little while after asking for you, everyone else stayed.”

That had to be Bucky. Great.

“Okay. Well, uh, thank you,” you started as she handed the bag through the window., “oh but wait, I didn’t pay!”

“Don’t worry about it,” she laughed lightly, waving you off. “Get home safe! I’ll see you on Tuesday. But, uh, call me later. Seems like maybe you have something to tell me,” she speculated with a raised brow.

“Hm,” you nodded as you exhaled through your nose. “I’ll see you later,” you evaded with a tight lipped smile.

You pulled away and drove back home, now paranoid that you were being followed. How did he know where you worked? And more importantly, why did he care? Why was he asking for you?

Pulling into your driveway and parking, you then grabbed your bags from the back of your car and headed inside. You were on edge so you decided to put on music while you unloaded everything.

You started to relax and once you had it all put away, you went to grab a plate from your cabinet to put your food on. But the plate in your hands fell to the floor and shattered when you spun around as you were startled by a deep voice. It was somehow, unsettlingly, familiar? and was coming from the small hallway that leads to your bedroom.

“You should invest in better security. Sweet girl like you, living all alone in a shoddy town like this, it can be dangerous,” he spoke ominously as he walked toward you, now entering the kitchen fully. He was dressed in a dark gray long sleeve shirt, rolled up to his forearm and black jeans. Not much different from the outfit he wore last night, but without his jacket and gloves on, you could now clearly see his left arm was made up of some kind of metal, and it made him all the more intimidating.

“Wasn’t too shoddy til you and your friends got here,” you said defiantly. You didn’t know where the confidence to say something like that to him came from, and it was too late to unsay it once you opened your mouth.

He chuckled darkly and slid his tongue across his bottom lip as he moved ever closer.

“Steve said you had a problem with manners, but I really didn’t believe it. I guess you’d need a sharp tongue working a bar, though,” he mused.

“What - what do you want?” you spluttered while shaking your head, “What are you doing in my house?” you asked him, not wanting the conversation to drag on any longer.

“What do I want?” He said before taking a deep breath, almost taunting. “Hm. Well, it’s not really about what I want, sweetheart. The last thing I want to do is be here, but like I said last night, I have an example to set. Can’t just let anyone get away with touching my things, especially my bike,”

“No, I did- I didn’t purposely touch it. He, Steve, he tripped me and I fell into it,” you rushed out. “And you said last night- you said you were gonna let me off easy, so what happened to that?”

“I did let you off easy,” he spoke as he towered over you now, trapping you against your counter. “I never said you were off the hook.”

“What are you doing,” you whispered and tried to flinch away as his flesh hand came up to brush the stray hairs away from your face. His hand fell to your jaw and he held your face tightly.

“You know what I normally do to people who fuck with my things, huh?” He asked harshly. Not that you could respond verbally even if you wanted to with the way he was holding you. You squeezed your eyes shut and tried your best to shake your head. His grip loosened as he continued talking.

“Normally,” he laughed humorlessly, “normally I’d beat them bloody and unconscious.” His hand relaxed on your face completely now and he brought his other hand up to hold your face gently. “So I really am letting you off easy, sweetheart,” his eyes were on yours before traveling to examine every inch of your face, “I couldn’t find it in myself to mess up this pretty face,” he spoke as his thumbs stroked your cheeks. You couldn’t do anything, you felt like you were frozen in place, “…so I let you go home. And then I spent my night trying to figure out what to do with you. There’s really only one way to put this issue to rest. You remember what I told you last night?” he asked as he looked to your eyes once more. “The only way someone would get away with touching my bike is if I’m fucking them. Seeing as I don’t want to hurt you too bad, this is the best compromise,” he finished as his hands found your neck, slowly dragging them down to the neckline of your shirt.

You started to hyperventilate. You wanted to scream, or try to fight him off, or just try to run for it, but you couldn’t do anything as he grabbed your shirt and began ripping it off of you. He groping your chest through your bra and leaned in close to speak in your ear,

“Don’t worry, I won’t drag this out,” he said before pulling away slightly as he took off his own shirt and moved to lift you in his arms. You tried to protest but it was a futile attempt as he picked you up like you weighed nothing and began making his way to your bedroom. “Believe me, I don’t wanna do this anymore than you do, sweetheart… Well, maybe a little more,” he smirked.

“What the fuck is happening,” you muttered as you panicked and your breath once again caught in your throat as you struggled to regulate your breathing and gain hold on the situation quickly unraveling before you. He dropped you down on your bed and the movement seemed to wiggle something loose in your brain because you suddenly came back into yourself and tried to make a run for it.

He blocked you in while he stood in front of your door and shut it behind him. He kicked his boots off and began unbuckling his belt as he shook his head at your weak escape attempt.

“Let’s not make this harder than it needs to be, huh? I fuck you, I leave, and we’re square. I’m sure I’ll forget all about you by the week’s end. Or you can fight, I still fuck you, and maybe you end up a little more worse for wear. The choice is yours,” he shrugged.

You didn’t say anything. You just stood there and tried to plead to him with your eyes. Praying that your body would catch up to your mind and you’d be able to do something, anything. You watched as his eye twitched ever so slightly and he grimaced for half a second before finding your gaze again.

He pulled the waistband of your leggings toward him and then let it snap back against you. “Take them off. Now,” he growled.

“Please,” you whispered as your voice broke. You felt the tears start to fall down your cheeks as you stared at him.

“I’m not going to tell you again. Hurry the fuck up,” he barked.

You flinched and numbly moved to take off your leggings while he removed his jeans. When you were both standing in just your underwear, he approached you once more and moved his hands to the back of your bra where he unclasped it and let it fall to your feet. His hands found your breasts and he began to play with you as you took a sharp breath at his foreign touch. You were a 25 year old virgin - to say you were touch starved would be an understatement. But there was no way you should have found the feeling of him on you as good as you did. His hands slid down to your waist as he continued to squeeze and feel you; running his hands up and down your torso as you closed your eyes tightly, not wanting to see his face as he stared at your body with something akin to awe. It couldn’t have been, though. Not with the way he was talking to you- about you. He spoke as if this was a chore that he truly did not want to have to complete. Like he wanted to get it over with and be on his way. As if he wasn’t the one forcing this on you. Forcing this entire situation. He really didn’t need to do it, was all you kept thinking. Who would know otherwise? It’s not like you planned on sharing it with anyone. You’d say or not say whatever he told you and just be done with it. But it seemed he was adamant about making you pay for his friend fucking with you. Bullshit “biker code” must really be taken seriously if he was willing to go this far. It just didn’t seem to make sense to you. Was that really all this was about?

His hands settled on your wide hips and you hated yourself for the embarrassment that overwhelmed you. Why was your train of thought going to how gross he must find you and your body? Why were you embarrassed for him to see you like this as if his opinion mattered at all? You felt disgusting because you realized that, god, maybe you wanted him to want you— even if you didn’t want him. Because you certainly didn’t want him. Or maybe some part of you did- but either way - you didn’t want him like this. You couldn’t deny that he was attractive, but it was something else. Something more that you couldn’t identify and fought desperately to ignore. And you couldn’t deny that you wanted to be attractive to him, which you evidently weren’t, but even still, the last thing you wanted was to have your virginity stolen from you.

His grip on your hips tightened and you couldn’t help the pained whimper that escaped you. He was strong, that he had already proven by lifting you and moving you without so much as breaking a sweat, but as his hands tightened around you, it was even more evident. There was no way you were getting out of this situation unscathed. Physically and emotionally speaking. You could feel the bruises forming already. Suddenly, his grip fell to the backs of your thighs as he pulled you up and you let out a shriek as you clung to his shoulders and allowed yourself to fall forward into his hold so you wouldn’t fall backwards.

His head was in your chest and he started to lick and kiss at you while he walked toward the bed. He placed you down and shoved you back once you were sitting on the mattress and pulled your panties down your thick legs as his fingers ghosted your skin.

“As fun as it would be to see you squirming for me, I don’t really have the time or patience for foreplay today,” he grunted out. As your eyes trailed down his body, you were met with the sight of him freeing his erection from his boxers as he removed them completely. You were then reminded of the fact that this would probably hurt like hell and you had no real idea what you were in store for. You started panicking all over again. You squirmed your way further up the mattress and began babbling helplessly.

“Please, please don’t do this. Just - wait, please, please!” you cried as he crawled on top of you. “Please, I can’t do this, I can’t, I can’t please,” you continued to babble.

He cooed and shushed you as his hands began trailing your body once more. His touch was so soft and almost caring. You thought if you closed your eyes tightly enough you’d be able to imagine that this foreign touch was that of a lover’s. One of someone who cared for you and your body. Not someone who was touching and taking you with force for any reason other than - what? - idiotic principles?

This isn’t fair, you thought. I don’t deserve this. But you couldn’t voice it out loud, you just let your tears fall as you continued to mumble in despair. Bucky’s lips found your neck and he began to lavish kisses on you. You were almost distracted enough by that to not notice his hand reaching lower and beginning to rub you, but not distracted enough. You were surprised though, to feel what he felt. You were wet with your arousal and you could feel him smirking against your neck, but were thankful that he didn’t say anything about it. He ran his finger through your slit, up to your clit where he began to rub small circles around the bundle of nerves. It truly felt like nothing you had ever experienced before. With his free hand, he lined himself up to your entrance as you pleaded once again, “No, no, no, you don’t understand, please, don-” and then all at once, you felt him thrust into you and you let out a guttural, pained cry at the intrusion while he groaned at the pleasure of being inside your previously untouched hole. His head fell to your neck and he panted as he stayed still inside of you while you whined. You didn’t realize what he was doing at first, why he was just staying still, but soon gathered that he was allowing you time to adjust to him. He then moved out of you and gave an experimental thrust back in. You couldn’t help the pathetic moan that escaped you and he decided to take that as a sign to continue his movements.

“See, it’s not all that bad, is it? I’m just as surprised as you, sweetness,” he spoke through grit teeth as he moved his thick cock in and out of you.

“Fuck, didn’t think you’d be this good. Thought it’d take me longer to get hard with you, but damn if those little pleading whimpers didn’t turn me on.” He continued while you tried to focus on the music that was still playing from the living room. Anything to drown out his words. You didn’t want to hear it. Didn’t want to hear him. Or yourself as you clenched your jaw and tried to suppress your sounds of forced pleasure.

“That’s it, take it. Take it like the good girl you pretend to be. I can see right through you, sweetheart. You can deny it all you want, but you and I both know the truth. This is what you’ve been needing, isn’t it? A fat cock stuffing your tight pussy full. Uh, fuck,” he groaned out, “you’re not as innocent as you seem, are you pretty girl?” he asked as his hands found your neck and added the perfect amount of pressure as he continued thrusting in and out of you at an intense pace, “just another whore getting ruined on my cock. Ruined just for me, isn’t that right, sweetheart?”

You shook beneath him as you were brought closer and closer to your climax. “So goddamn tight. S’like your pussy doesn’t wanna let me go,” he continued his taunting as you tried to fight off, to resist the pleasure that was coursing through you, but you couldn’t keep yourself from heading straight into your orgasm, even at the words he spoke.

“I could keep you full of me all night long,” he whispered in your ear. “You’re squeezing me so fuckin tight, baby, I’m gonna come,” he moaned. “Fuck, I’m gonna come inside you and your gonna take every last drop of my cum, aren’t you,” he said as he gripped your jaw and shook your face in his hands making you stare up at him as he lost himself and came inside of you. He squeezed your jaw again and forced your mouth open before he spit directly on your tongue. You shuddered and involuntarily your pussy clenched around him as you felt his saliva sliding down your throat, causing him to hiss at the feeling.

“Look at you, you can’t even help yourself, can you?” He laughed and then crashed his lips to yours hotly, sensually moving down to your neck before he laid himself down on top of your chest, crushing you slightly as you tried to regain control of yourself and your breathing, before pulling out of you.

“See, told ya I’d make it quick. Ah -“ he breathed and then slapped your thigh as he held himself up above you, “I’d love to stay and chat, maybe go for round two in a bit, but I got a date planned for later, and I can’t leave a beautiful woman hanging.”

“No offense,” he offered, “I mean, you’re pretty,” he smirked as his eyes met yours, “but you’re not really my type,” he said as he pinched your stomach before softly kissing your cheek and getting up from atop you. You just laid there with your mouth slightly parted, taking shallow breaths as you willed the tears threatening to start falling again away. You really couldn’t tell what hurt more- what did more damage. His actions or his words. You were in a state of shock as your eyes were fixed on your ceiling and you focused on the sound of Lana Del Rey’s “Pretty When You Cry” coming from the living room as Bucky got dressed beside your bed.

And then you heard your back door open and shut followed by the sound of a motorcycle coming to life. You realized Bucky must have gotten in through that same door. You willed yourself up and walked to every window and both doors making sure they were all shut and locked. You made your way to your bathroom and started the shower. You couldn’t even feel the water as you stepped in. It was like your body was moving without your mind actually being involved in the process. You washed yourself clean twice before you started to come back to yourself and scrubbed every inch of your body. It started to drive you mad after thirty minutes of washing trying to get the feeling of him off of you. It didn’t work. You could feel him every time you moved. You resigned yourself to sitting in the tub as the water ran down on you.

You weren’t sure how long you sat there. You wouldn’t have even been sure that what had happened had actually happened if it wasn’t for the painful reminders he left on your hips and the ache in between your legs. The memory of his hands on you made you twitch.

You finally pulled yourself out of your stupor and dried off. Walking to your dresser, you pulled out a pair of pajamas and got dressed. As you brushed through your wet hair in front of the mirror, you couldn’t look away from your own eyes. Accusatory, yet unsure. Still slightly puffy and glossy from the tears.

You returned to your bed and stripped it of its sheets and duvet. You didn’t have the energy to wash them so you left them in the hallway and walked across the house to the spare bedroom. You got on the bed and crawled up into a ball under the covers in hopes of finding some comfort in your own touch as you rocked yourself to sleep. It didn’t come easy. Every time you got close to falling asleep completely, Bucky’s face would appear, eyes drinking you in… and then you could hear his grunts and groans - feel him on top of you again and your eyes would fly open as your breathing faltered. It went on like that for hours until you finally faded to sleep. Bucky plaguing your restless dreams all the while.

#dark!bucky x reader #dark!bucky #dark!bucky barnes #dark!bucky barnes x reader #dark!biker bucky #dark!bucky x curvy!reader #dark!bucky x plus size reader #dark!bucky x chubby!reader #tw noncon #tw dubcon #pwyc series #dark bucky smut #dark bucky #dark!biker!bucky

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dirtysvthoughts · 2 years

Note

i just can't stop thinking of sweet sex with seungcheol 😪😵 can u write a lil scenario/drabble abt it

a/n: oh my god, hey friends! it’s been a minute! last week was the atlanta svt concert (which was an AMAZING experience btw!), but the rest of the week i suffered bc i wasn’t getting enough rest 🥲 but we’re caught up and we’re back! i hope you enjoy this one! i missed writing for you guys these past few days!

this drabble/scenario features: seungcheol x female!reader

tags/warnings: established relationship, sweet, supportive “dirty” talk from both partners, basically all round good ole relationship vibes we all want and need in life

omfg sweet sex with cheol would be AMAZING - like you will feel heavenly bliss and the aftercare?! holy hell, why can’t i have him in my life..

imagine coming home after a date night and the whole night, he hasn’t kept his hands off you the minute he saw you. the whole date he kept whispering in your ear about how beautiful you looked, how lucky he was to have you, and how he intended on showing how much he loved you when you two were alone.

so when you finally step into your apartment and he closes the door behind him, he wastes no time. he closes any gaps between you two and kisses so tenderly, yet fervently. you feel your heat rising as you take off his jacket, moaning at how hard you can feel he is through his pants. you two make your way to the couch, your mouths refusing to leave each others.

“you’re so special to me, y’know,” he begins to undress you as he leaves you in your bra and panties, kissing his way down your body. “your personality, your beauty, your body - you’re the whole package and more.. words can’t explain how much i fucking adore you.”

you could cry in the tenderness of the moment. how did you end up with the most loving person on the planet? you’re so entranced by him that you almost don’t hear him talking to you.

“can i go ahead baby?”

“yes, make love to me like only you can.”

that was all the motivation he needed.

he adjusts and positions himself to thrust inside of you, and when you feel that first one - you thought you were ready, but he was already taking you to your edge.

“ch-cheol.. you’re so big,” you somehow manage to say through pursed lips and nearly teary eyes. “do you think you can go a little bit faster?”

seungcheol chuckles as he caresses your cheek and then gropes your breast, “sorry, sweetie - i intend on taking it slow today, wanna make you feel so good. you deserve to feel this way,” he grunts in your ear as he thrusts into you again, your wetness going straight to his dick.

“f-fuck, cheol, i-i don’t deserve you.. you’re my everything,” you loudly and sharply gasp when he adds a finger to the mix, softly rubbing your clit - and further pushing you to your blissful orgasm.

“you don’t deserve me? baby, i think it’s the other way around. you are my goddess, my light - i don’t know what i’d do without you.”

“i. love. you.” he says dramatically as he brings you to a heavenly orgasm. hearing those three words from his deep voice felt so good to ears and to your core. but you wish it could’ve waited just a few more minutes.

“ugh, sorry,” you say regretfully, slightly pouting at yourself. “i wanted to give to you longer, cheol.”

“no need to apologize sweetheart, you are amazing and beautiful as always. did you ever notice you have a glow after your orgasm? i almost wanna take a picture of you like this.. all pretty and covered in your own juices,” he smirks as you bury yourself in his chest, lightly smacking it. you smile to yourself, hoping and praying that this feeling of happiness, peace, and security would never go away.

“i really meant it when i said you were my everything. i love you cheol.”

“i love you more baby.”

-kenny

#seventeen imagines #seventeen smut #seventeen x reader #svt imagines #svt x reader #svt smut #seventeen imagine #seventeen x female reader #seungcheol imagine #seungcheol smut #seungcheol imagines #seungcheol x reader #scoups imagine #scoups imagines #scoups smut #scoups x reader #seungcheol #scoups #dsvtt: answered asks

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kenny-the-ken · 1 year

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Y O U + M E Pt 4

ALL AGED UP CHARACTERS!! I really am so sorry for my absence lately, my life's been fucking hectic!! I hope you guys enjoy this, it took me forever, my brain just wouldn't cooperate

Things had been going oh so well sweetheart, oh so well. Your mother was no longer an issue, and let's just say that heaven's gained another angel. I mean, of course you were devastated but, I was there. I was your shoulder to cry on, your comfort and support, you lover, all in one. What more could a girl want?

But obviously my work wasn't enough, or it would never have came to this. My love, I did everything for you! Everything I did was all for you! I killed Clyde, for you! I killed your mother, for you! And now it seems that you have grown to resent me.

You found the box, the one with Clyde's teeth, your panties, your mother's ring and a few other things belonging to you in it. It was bound to happen at some point, I guess my hiding skills aren't as reliable as I once thought. But that doesn't matter now darling, because I know we will get through this. Because love is the most powerful force in the universe.

Getting you here wasn't easy, I mean, after you tried to escape from my apartment to go to the police, I knew that it would take you some time to come round to my way of thinking. I had to keep you safe, and somewhere I knew you'd always be safe.

I rented a room at a storage facility a while ago, just a place where I could keep extra things that didn't fit in my apartment, and where I keep my soundproof cage, of course. Bulletproof, scream proof, unbreakable, and even if you ever found a way out from there, you can't get out of the storage unit without my key, I have you right where I need you to be.

I'm watching you sleep, that cut on your head looks quite painful, I truly am sorry for having to hurt you dear, but you really did leave me no other option. You don't know you're here yet, you've been out for a while now. I did inject you with a small amount of sedatives so, they're obviously doing their job, which gave me the time that I needed to plan ahead.

I don't want to kill you. I want to love you darling, but I can't do that till I know you still want me too. You could try to pull the wool over my eyes, spin me a story so I let you out and then turn me in to the police, then where we be, love?

--------------------------------------------------------------

My eyes flicked open, the thumping in my head already unbearable, a white light illuminating my surroundings, but not all of it. A box. Thick, reinforced glass caging me in within 4 walls. The door handle is on the outside, it's locked, and a hatch beside it, which must be where he'll feed me from. How could I not have seen this? How could I have missed the signs? I knew it was too good to be true.

"Ken?! KENNY!" Hands balled into fight fists as I uselessly bang and bang against the never breaking glass. "KENNY!" My voice was hoarse, choked with tears that streamed down my cheeks like a river that had broken its banks. How could I have let this happen?

My whole life I've loved fairy tales, wrapping myself in the comfort that one day my prince may come and save me from this miserable existence I call my life. But I wasn't a princess, I didn't hold the power to turn stupid little boys into princes that had came to save me.

Then you arrived. You came into my life and you were the first person to wrap me in a thick layer of cotton wool, to protect me from the things I didn't know about. You killed people for me, to protect me. You did everything for me, you gave my life meaning and in return I betrayed your wishes, I asked questions and I snooped through things that my eyes were never supposed to see. And I'm sorry.

"I'm here baby." A soft voice came from the darkness of the dimly lit room. The light in the box was so bright that it made everything outside of it appear dull, darker than it was. And from the darkness Kenny appeared, placing a gentle hand upon the glass cage that held me as its prisoner. As his prisoner.

"W-Why am I here, Ken?"

--------------------------------------------------------------

Your eyes were flooded with terror, your knees weak, face drained of colour, why must you always think the worst of me, love? Aren't you supposed to love me? "I'm here, y/n. I promise, I'm not going to hurt you." Your sobs break my heart darling, oh how I long to wrap my arms around you, but not yet, I can't be sure your intentions are pure.

"Ken, please let me out of here!" Your tears stain your soft complexion, I want to kiss them away, make everything okay. "I can't baby, soon. I wish I knew what you were thinking." And it's true, I do. If we could see each others thoughts then maybe you could understand me better, know why I've done all that I have for you, it's all for you, for us.

"Kenny... p-please I-I can't stay in here! Y-you can't leave me here, Ken." I don't want to leave you here darling, oh how I wish you were in my bed, laying in my warm embrace. The sweet scent of your hair, your floral perfume, how I long to touch you.

But alas, I must be patient my love. As I place a cigarette between my chapped lips, I silently pray you have it in your heart to forgive me, to work through this together, and come back stronger and more in love than ever. I miss you so much and as I turn the lights off and leave you behind the closed door of my dingy little storage room, my heart aches to be taking you with me, hand in hand. But if you cannot forgive me and love me how I love you darling, then I guess I'll have to get used to missing you.

#kenny mccormick #kenny south park #south park #kenny mccormick x reader #sp kenny #kenny sp #south park kenny #south park x reader #south park x y/n #south park fandom #south park fanfiction #fanfic #sp fandom #sp fanfiction

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jinx-blackout-84 · 11 months

Text

Just a quick potential end chapter (dw guys ill give u a good ending too, I'm just feelin angsty and existential rn) also, if this makes no fucking sense, which it probably dosen't, I have not slept in 17 hours and physically cannot fall asleep so. Blame the sleep deprivation.

Quackity looked at Wilbur, who was curled over his brother's body. Wilbur was bleeding out. Tommy was dead.

"You should kill me," Quackity said.

"But that's not what I want to do," Wilbur said.

"I know."

"Okay."

"You have to let him go," Quackity said softly.

"I know."

"Okay."

Wilbur laid Tommy's body down.

He did not look at Tommy's eyes.

Wilbur looked at his sword instead.

Anguish crossed his face.

"I don’t want to lose you again, songbird," Wilbur said.

"I know," Quackity whispered, "but we don't get to decide things like that."

Wilbur held the silver blade just in front of Quackity's stomach. It stayed there for a moment.

He pulled his arm back so he could pull Quackity towards him without harming him.

The man was poetry on old parchment. He was love and life and the small stones that are smooth at the bottom of a river. He was the smell of the air when it rains.

Quackity watched him with starlight eyes.

"I think," Quackity muttered into the man's hair, "that I might love you, in another life."

He continued "You might be mine, somewhere in a life where we weren't scripted to die to the other's hand."

Wilbur looked at him, eyes deep pools of chocolate and earth, "I think I would have loved you too, Quackity Nevadas," he said sadly.

"I'm sorry things had to be this way," Wilbur said, sinking the blade through Quackity's chest, pulling it out with a coldness and sorrow that splashed across his face like spilled ink.

Quackity cried out, he choked on his own blood as Wilbur died slowly beside him.

"Goodnight songbird."

"Goodnight my love."

He pulled Quackity close, humming to him as the sun rose on an ashen landscape. Wilbur pulled Tommy's body towards him. He held Quackity closer than they had ever gotten to be.

And Quackity's legacy died with him. The tune Wilbur hummed was sorrowful and light. It was aching and glorious, sweet and golden like a river of honey, like the tears running down his face, like the wings Quackity hadn't wanted.

Quackity liked to think he would wake in a different body, in a different life. One where he would be loved by Wilbur. One where he would have a family.

One where Tommy would live to eighteen.

Gods, Tommy was so young. He was so young and so naive.

He saw Tommy's eyes, still and glassy, somehow having lost all of the ocean sky blue. Somehow grey and unmoving, unremarkable like a square of concrete in a city.

Quackity hoped he would wake up in a world where the wounds could be healed, where he had a different path to follow, a different destiny.

Could he have changed this? Could he have loved? Could he have been redeemed? Did he deserve it? Did that matter?

Quackity died in the arms of the man he was fated to kill.

Wilbur died with a song on his lips, the one he had always wanted to sing. He did get to sing it to someone he loved, he supposed.

Philza would find them, hours later, when they were cold and quiet, grey and unmoving.

Philza would cry out to the Gods, sobs wrenching from his chest, the universal language of suffering and agony. He wpuld plead to have them back, would trade anything to see Tommy's smile, to hear Wilbur's laugh.

The Gods would not hear him.

Techno would run to Philza's side, confusion etched onto his face, and he would see.

He would see his little brothers.

He would see Wilbur.

He would see Tommy.

He would see the way Wilbur's hands were still, no longer conducting a symphony that played only for him.

He would see the way Tommy's mouth was slack, missing the smile that always seemed present, the one that could light up the sun.

Technoblade would fall to his knees beside his father, holding the body of Wilbur and Tommy Watson close to his chest. He would see Quackity laying in the dust and turn away.

Technoblade never recovered. It was always there. He always felt it in the back of his mind, that loss. He would wake in the mornings and bicker with Phil as he made breakfast. They stopped accidentally setting out enough plates for four people after two years. Techno stopped downloading every meme he saw to send to Tommy later after five. Philza never stopped waking in his sleep and checking In Wilbur and Tommy's rooms to see if they were there this time.

Tubbo and Ranboo visited Tommy's grave every month, and would visit the Watsons every year on Tommy and Wilbur's birthdays for dinner. Most years they would laugh with true joy and reminisce, and some years they just cried. Some years they almost forgot.

They never recovered.

It changed them.

Philza never found another son. Tubbo never showed his code to another person. Techno never trained with another person. Ranboo never showed his Memory book to another person. Nobody ever loved again the way they had loved Tommy and Wilbur.

They died after long, beautiful lives of poetry and melancholy. They woke in a new world. And perhaps this world was one that could heal them, just a bit.

Perhaps this world was the same life they had lived, just a happier ending.

Perhaps they would never meet in this new life.

Perhaps things were easier in this life, they had a life free of tribulation.

Perhaps it was a different universe, one where a father stabbed his son, and a broken man with pink hair was betrayed by his only ally. Perhaps it was one where a young boy was driven to death by an oddly familiar voice. Perhaps there was a man with a bomb and nothing to lose. Perhaps it was a world where a bench that caught the sun would sit and collect dust for years. Perhaps it was a world where a boy was forced into too much power when he was far too young. Perhaps it was a world where a boy would write in a small notebook, and the words were not ones he knew.

Or perhaps it was this world. The one you live in right now. Perhaps they live just miles, or countries, or continents away from you.

Perhaps their world is yours, perhaps you were the narrarator this entire time.

Perhaps their fate is in your hands.

Perhaps you are the Gods.

Perhaps this world never existed outside your own, perhaps they exist only in the very world you live in.

Perhaps they were reborn as you. Perhaps you hold the spark of Tommy or loyalty of Techno or artistry or Wilbur or ambition of Quackity. Perhaps you hold the gentleness of Philza or the compassion of Kristin. Perhaps you hold the determination of Tubbo or the wisdom of Ranboo.

Do you remember your past life?

Do you know who you have been?

#TNTduo #Angst #Death #Murder #Blood #cw: corpses #Swords #Stabbing #Violence #dsmp #quackity #fic stuff #quackbur #technoblade

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dragons-and-dwarves-are-nice · 8 months

Text

To the Shadows that Cry Witch /// Chapter 18

And I'm back!! I'm so happy to return to writing this fic for you guys, and for the long time I've been away, I've made sure to make this next chapter extra long for you all - at almost 6k words! (Which is a feat for me lol) So good news aside, I am unfortunately not going to be posting weekly anymore, as I have just started uni, and I already have a lot of studying to do. But I can promise that I will be posting chpaters as frequent as I can, I'll just be limiting myself to make time for my academic side of life. Anyways, Enjoy! <3

Summary: Magic was real, but it came at a price. So when two girls end up in the one place they never thought they could reach, strange things began to happen. Good or bad? That's up to them to find out.

Tags: Kili x oc/reader - Fili x oc (POV to be written soon) - Thorin's company × ocs/reader (platonic) - fluff - angst - EXTREME slow burn - crack - Bagginshield

Word Count: 5960

Warnings: Mentions of injuries, claustrophia, accidental drowning, swearing.

Taglist - comment or message to be added!

PLEASE START FROM THE BEGINNING IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY OK LOVE U

Want some background music? Check out my Soundtrack Playlist!

Now available on Wattpad and AO3 (please let me know if links aren't working)

< Chapter 17 // Chapter 18 // Chapter 19 >

Part 2: Chapter 18 -

Into the thick of it.

Selenotropism (Definition): Growth in response to moonlight. (Noun / Origin: Classical Greek / Se·lee·no·trop·isum)

The Old Forest, Outer Hobbiton, The Shire – T.A. 25th October 2939 of the Third Age (1339 in Shire-reckoning)

I had strayed from the path a while back, grass replacing the smooth stones that marked the paths circling Hobbiton. Only the dying light of my small lantern accompanied me, I foolishly realised, as I had not planned ahead for this spur-of-the-moment outing – thinking I could rely on the shine of the moon, but I forgot that it was a new phase, so all that was ahead of me was the gaping darkness, as it tempted me deeper into the towering trees of the Old Forest.

By now, any glow from the lights left outside each hobbit hole had vanished behind the silhouettes of thick trunks and bushes that surrounded me. The only luck I had to return before Bilbo’s curfew was if I stumbled upon a road that led me back, and, I managed to guess the correct direction that wouldn’t lead me into the wilderness. Just because I had a map of Middle Earth on my favourite mug back home, didn’t mean I had memorised it. Which, at this point, was my biggest downfall.

I inhaled deeply through my nose, taking in the sharp, fresh air that came with a clear late evening, like a cold glass of water, that was blissful on your throat at 2am. Approaching one of the taller trees, I plopped myself down against its trunk and stretched my legs out. Many thoughts passed over my mind, memories from Earth, things I owned that would never be found here, but what stuck, was thoughts of my family; Where they were; if time continued on, and, if the two of us reported missing. How they would cope with the news. That was the one thing I dreaded – considering how sensitive my family was. I wondered about Bella, my dog. Knowing her singular braincell, it’ll take her a few years to realise I’m gone. I smiled at the thought of my dogs face as she pounced around the fields in search of rabbits, her thin ginger tail whipping back and forth. Her warm brown eyes staring intently at me from in between the long grass, the iris’ flickering with green.

Wait – green?

Bella’s eyes weren’t green.

I blinked rapidly, returning my senses to my surroundings. Pressing the bases of my palms against my eyelids, I blinked them open, and realised that the green eyes weren’t leaving – they were in fact, in front of me.

I grabbed my lantern and held it up, stretching my arm out to allow the dying flame illuminate the bushes that sat a few yards ahead of my feet. With baited breath I stared arduously at the small gap of leaves, until a flash of green flickered, and the pair of green eyes returned, this time with a physical body.

Placing one paw in front of the other, the shadow silently crept out from beneath the darkness of the leaves, almost like a hunter stalking its prey. Light shimmered like gold on ebony fur, and with a twitch of its ear, a black cat emerged, traipsing into the light.

A soft gasp left my lips, watching it stop just before where my feet lay, and I felt a smile warm my face. Any sorrowful thought that plagued my mind earlier was now whisked away at the sight of the small feline.

“Hello,” I whispered, as I gently placed the lantern down, watching as the cat’s emerald eyes flickered over me, following my every move. “Where did you come from?”

As slowly as before, I lowered my hand to the ground, and carefully moved it towards the creature, stopping just past my toes. To my delight, the cat took another cautious step forwards, it’s black nose lifting to sniff the air, before lowering it to my curled fingers. My pinkie twitched slightly, and the cat took a step back, returning to sit where it had revealed itself by the bush, the end of its tail flicking slightly from where it rested on the grass.

“No touching? That’s ok.” I murmured, taking my hand back and placing it on my lap. Minutes passed by, where the two of us simply observed each other, getting used to the other’s presence whilst waiting for the other to move.

My head raised suddenly, Bilbo’s stern face appearing at the forefront of my mind, and I remembered my curfew. Getting to my feet as calmly as I could to not startle the creature in front of me, I brushed off the fallen leaves that had caught themselves on my shift and coat, and picked up my lantern.

I had only taken a couple steps, when a ‘meow’ sounded from behind me. Puzzled I turned around to see the cat was now by my feet, it’s eyes wide as it approached me, almost playful.

“Huh?” Was all I said.

It meowed again, white teeth flashing as it opened its mouth to make the sounds.

“I’m sorry but I have to go.” I replied gently. “Or Bilbo will have my head.”

I went to walk away once again, but jumped with a start as I looked down to find it had appeared in front of me, but this time with something familiar in its mouth. Squinting, I gasped in outrage when I realised what it was.

“Hey!” I exclaimed, shoving my hand into the inner pocket of my coat, only to find it open and missing the one thing that was supposed to be inside it. Though I knew where it had gone – and it was currently trotting away with its tail held high.

Turning on my heel, I strode after the cat, keeping the lantern as high as I could to not lose the dark-furred feline to the darkness it could oh-so easily blend into. Eventually I broke into a run, frustrated at the sight of the cat as it only got further away.

“Come on!” I cried with heaving breaths – bed rest had not been courteous to my stamina levels. “That’s important to me! You can’t just take it!”

Said thing was a braided leather bracelet, cream in colour, with a red button sewn on as a clasp. It was a handmade gift from my grandad, one I had kept close to me and cherished since his passing three years ago. And I certainly wasn’t going to part with it any time soon.

My walking boots thumped heavily against the ground. Whilst working perfectly well on the wild terrain, they were certainly not suited for running, as my feet began to feel like they have become big hooves – too heavy and stiff for these kinds of escapades. Shoving away a low hanging branch, I then leaped over a twisted root, only to cry out as my still-healing ankle gave way, and I hit the ground with a thud.

With a groan, I pushed myself onto my elbows before twisting over to sit up. The cat came back into my mind, and I whipped my head around, ignoring the throbbing aches from the points of impact my body graciously had with the ground.

The glass of my lantern was smashed on the ground in front of me, and in the final flickers of the flame, my eyes landed on a large rabbit hole in the middle of a hollowed tree trunk, and as I climbed to my feet, I caught a flash of green from in the shadows. Marching over, I kneeled down, braced my hands on either side of the rotting bark, and peered into the darkness.

It was an exceptionally large tunnel, big enough for me to fit into. Roots of all sizes twisted and hung from the walls and roof of soil. The odd beetle appeared, before dashing away again, and as the flame behind me finally died, I went to give up on the rescue.

With a snap, a twig broke behind me, and I spun around, only to let out a scream as the rotten bark crumbled in my hands as it gave way. Feeling a sharp knock against my head, I watched the world go black, feeling myself tumble into the darkness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“C’mon c’mon c’mon.” I whimpered, working my trembling hands as best as I could to strike the match against the rough side of the cardboard box. It really helped sometimes when I forgot to empty all my pockets, feeling extremely lucky that matches were one of the things found. What didn’t help was the uncontrollable tears that began to pool in my eyes – and also that fact that I was stuck in a narrow tunnel in the complete pitch black.

With a crackle and a hiss, the small flame burst to life in between my fingers, and I craned my head the best I could to look down either side of the tunnel, hindered by the fact that it was so narrow, my back was arched forwards and my neck was constantly bent over at the low ceiling. The tightening in my chest also meant the claustrophobia was kicking in big time.

Trying my best to look down both sides as much as I could through the blur of my tears, I noticed that one end trailed upwards, and decided that was my best option to fining the way out. Feeling the heat of the flame grow, I quickly blew the match out, and summoning all the energy I had left, I flopped onto my front, and began to commando crawl up through the darkness.

Digging my elbows and knees into the soil, I clambered onwards for what felt like a quarter of an hour, whilst also lighting the odd match, checking that there wasn’t any other tunnels that I would accidentally take. It was odd that I was so far down, and I wondered whether or not I landed down there naturally.

Soon, to my luck, the fresh air from earlier began to replace the damp and stagnant, the tunnel widening enough for me to stand on my knees, and I felt relief wash through me knowing I was almost out. Lighting a match, I raised it up, only to see a large hole above me just a metre ahead, with a familiar wall of bark surrounding it. Shuffling myself closer whilst trying to keep the match alight, I went to reach to the edge of the hole, when something caught my eye.

Adding on to the very odd things that had happened to me on this night, I stared bewildered at my bracelet hanging right in front of me, hooked onto an even odder-looking piece of wood. My hand quickly shot out, grabbing it and stuffing it to the bottom of my deepest pocket, making sure it was zipped up securely, safe and tight.

Lighting another match, I looked back, holding the small flame up as I eyed the piece of wood curiously. It didn’t look quite like a root – the end was too thick and blunt, and was covered in parts that were unnaturally smooth, a darkened colour as if someone had crawled down here and decided to carve and polish random parts of tree roots, leaving them to stick out about several inches from the soil. Reaching out, I poked and prodded at it with my fingernail, before slowly wrapping my hand around it. A pull.

But I didn’t pull it.

Before I knew it, my hand was jerked forward, sucked into the wall as if I had stuck my hand into the flesh of a giant slimy slug, and I quickly began to panic, my eyes widening as I watched soil wrap around my wrist like short, stubby tentacles to pull it in further. The squelching and crumbling of wet dirt and rock contorting around my limb echoed through the tunnel as I realised that I couldn’t let go of the stick, so trying my best to think rationally through the crushing fear of becoming part of the ground, I leant onto my back and lifted my legs up, bracing my feet against the wall. With all my might, I gritted my teeth together as I grasped my rapidly disappearing arm, and pulled.

I let out a loud grunting breath as I felt it give way a little, but quickly repositioned as I prepared to pull again. But before I could, a deep sound resonated in my ears, drowning out the noises of moving dirt, and every hair on my body stood on end, terror pinging through every vertebrae along my spine, the one sound I had wished to never hear again pounding against my ear drums.

Feeling the colour drain from my face, I slowly turned my head to my right, until my eyes landed on an oh-so familiar shape down in the tunnel.

It was blue.

Slitted eyes pierced into my own as I fixated on the terrifying creature from my dream, and a tsunami of panic crashed over me, for this time I wasn’t in a dream – and this was very much real.

With a cry, I returned to my arm, bracing my legs and pulling with all my might. My eyes darted back down the tunnel, and the creature lurched, it’s claws reaching out to gouge the dirt as it tried to pull its large body towards me. If they could gouge dirt, they could certainly gouge me. Sobs racked through my throat as I frantically tugged at my arm, feeling my fingernails break skin as I clawed uncontrollably at my wrist, that was slowly but surely revealing itself.

Letting out a scream with one final pull, my hand shot out, hitting me in the nose. Through the uncontrollable watering of my eyes, I watched as the soil closed itself back up, spiralling inwards like an alien mouth until it became part of the tunnel wall once again. A roar much closer than before pierced my ears, and I darted for the hole above me.

Hands clawed and gripped at grass as I clumped bundles of it up, pulling my torso up and over the edge whilst my feet scrambled and slipped against roots and waterlogged soil.

I managed to hook one knee over the edge, and went to drag the other up, when something pulled against it. Blood pumped through my ears as I looked down, only to find that the bandage around my ankle had snagged against a root. I pulled my foot up again and again, only to find that the know holding it together refused to budge.

“Curse Erard and his perfect bandaging!” I cried.

Remembering what I had put in my coat pocket earlier, I stuck my hand in to pull out my sewing scissors, and quickly got to work, hacking away at the cream material.

It was just in time, because as soon as my foot landed on the grass, a glowing blue set of claws shot out. I screamed in terror, then howled in pain as one of the hooked appendages nicked my shin, and I clambered to my feet, sprinting full power into the darkness.

Tears ran down and across my cheeks, and hair whipped across my face and neck as I raced between the dark silhouettes of trees and stumbled over unseen roots, hoping to whatever deity was out there that I was going the right way. Adrenaline had replaced any feeling as I tried to put as much distance between myself and that godforsaken hole.

I decided to only take a moment, hands gripping my knees as I arched over to catch what breath I’d lost, air rattling through my lungs as I tried my best to stop my breaths from shuddering and shaking. My back pressed against a trunk as I tried to shrink my shoulders together, hiding myself as best as I could whilst I recovered. Though an odd feeling in one of my hands had my eyes blinking open, and in the darkness, I could just make out the outline of a thin object in my hand. Running my fingers up and down the surface, I recognised it: I had not let go of the oddly shaped stick, the one that caused my hand to be sucked into a wall by some unseen force. Doing my best in the pitch black, I tried to make out the shapes and features on the stick of wood – surprisingly straight, and thinned out slightly at the top end, and I wondered if someone had dropped their toy wand down a rabbit hole.

Leaves rustled nearby, and I quickly spun around. Though I had not watched my surroundings, and my arm collided with the trunk, knocking the stick sharply against the bark.

A light.

A spark.

Then a bang.

I let out a scream, my arm coming up to shelter my face against the splinters of wood that flew past me. Lowering it, my eyes widened like saucers as I gawked at the sight in front of me.

The tree that stood to the right of mine was now smoking, the edges of the gaping hole that pierced all the way through the trunk glowing an orange, whilst embers floated, before slowly lowering to the ground.

My hands flew up unconsciously in surrender, when I looked to my right hand, looking accusingly at the perpetrator. Just barely, I managed to spot the tip as a light faded until it returned to looking like any other smoothed out stick off a tree.

Though I guess it wasn’t just a stick.

Thundering footsteps vibrated heavily through the ground, and up my legs. Daring to look around the tree, my eyes landed on the blue outline of the creature as it spread its wings, using them to help it skid to a stop, mud spraying everywhere (which was odd, considering I could still see through it).

I held my breath, begging for it to move on. It raised its horned head, taking deep breaths as it searched for scents in the air – most likely mine – and I prayed that the light wind blowed in my favour.

A creak, then a groan, then more creaks, sounded from beside me. Both me and the creature slowly turned our heads, watching as the tree with the hole began to splinter at the sides of the hole, bits of wood springing out as the upper half pressed its weight down. With a loud, creaking BANG, the sides gave way, and the upper half slammed down onto its lower half, before letting out a long, resounding groan as it fell to the side, and my body shrunk in on itself, cringing at every loud noise that drew the creatures attention to my hiding spot. Hitting the ground with a final mighty crash, branches and leaves snapped off whilst birds from all around scattered at the sudden noise.

Finally, I let my body relax, shaking off the tension as the foliage settled once again, and I peeked around my tree once again, only to find that the creature was looking directly at me.

Taking cautious steps, I slowly began to back away, only for the creature to lower its head, and it began steadily stalking towards me, just like it had done on our first meeting.

Feeling the fear and panic pierce through me once again, I racked my brain for a way out. I glanced at the stick in my hand. Raising my arm, I hesitantly pointed it at the creature. Its eyes landed on what I was pointing, at it let out a roar, and broke into a run. I sped up my backwards walking, keeping my arm raised, and without thinking, I brought it back, and gave it a powerful flick.

Just like before, a spark shot out the end, flooding the forest with light for a moment, crossing the distance in less than a second before landing a direct hit on the beasts head.

The blast sent it flying backwards, and it crashed into the bushes behind it, vanishing amongst the leaves after leaving an outline of its landing. I punch the air, letting out an uncontrollable shout of triumph. Though that was short lived, as the beast let out another roar, more aggressive than the last. Oh, I had pissed it off big time.

Stumbling over my own feet, I darted back the way I had come, speeding as fast as my legs would allow, praying that the lights of Hobbiton would appear again soon.

To my luck, as if someone was watching over me, I finally felt the stone path, that I had foolishly abandoned earlier, back under the soles of my boots, and looking up, I smiled, relieved, at the sight of a street-lantern just metres ahead. I could finally see properly. I continued down the path at the same running speed, not letting any false sense of security fall over me. The banks at either side of the path grew higher and higher as the stones travelled downwards towards the first set of houses, until one fell away to reveal the town. Behind me, my ears picked up the sounds of footsteps again, and I whipped around, raising the stick once more to point it at the creature, this time aiming for between the eyes.

It skidded to a halt at the edge of the forest, kicking up another spray of dirt as it did. It stood there, nostrils flaring, with what looked like smoke emitting from them and from between the gaps of its mouth. Claws dug into the ground as it stood on the bank that towered above me, its eyes boring into mine before flicking down to what was in my hand.

A growl erupted from its throat, one that you would feel in the ground rather than the air, it was that deep. It snapped its jaws, teeth flashing and saliva dripping and disappearing into thin air. To my surprise, with a flick of its spiked tail, it tucked in its wings and turned around, vanishing into the forest.

A breath escaped me, and I relaxed every tensed muscle, whilst patting my chest to calm my quivering heart. I reached up and rubbed my neck, moving my head around in a full circle to feel those satisfying pops in my spine. I also shook my arms and legs out, ridding what I could of my remaining adrenaline.

Doing a quick scan of the area, I figured everyone was still in bed, despite the loud screams and shouts I had made while deep in the forest. I made a reminder to never get myself back into any sort of danger whilst staying with hobbits, because you could guarantee that they would snore through the whole ordeal unless you smashed their window in screaming bloody murder.

After confirming that nobody was watching me, I began the trek up to Bilbo’s house. Despite the fact that no one heard me in the woods earlier, it didn’t mean that I didn’t want to be found wandering around after hours, so I decided to take the long but hidden route around the outskirts of the town.

‘At least it’s scenic.’ I thought to myself, but remembered immediately afterwards that I wouldn’t be able to see most of it considering the sun was non-existent right now, and the nearest lanterns were at least a couple metres away from the path.

Jogging over one of the stone bridges, I walked along the path until I reached the banks of one of Hobbiton’s lakes. Across it, I could make out the lights from Bilbo’s kitchen windows up the hill, and sped up. Walking past a cluster of bushes, I looked over them at the small lake beside me, only to stop in my tracks.

On the grassy bank on the other side of the lake, Kay stood in only her shift and socks, deathly still. Her head was tilted down slightly, strands of wavy copper hair hanging down and concealing her face slightly as she stared into the watery depths.

I stared apprehensive – she had never done anything like this before. Unless she had a secret hobby that included staring at water (when she knows she can’t swim yet), then there definitely was something wrong. Silently lowering into a crouch, I hid myself behind the bushes, and crawled on my hands until I was able to peek around the leaves.

She still hadn’t moved from her standing position, though after a moment passed, her leg moved out, and she took a single step forward, and leaned over slightly.

Yeah, there was definitely something wrong.

I went to stand up, planning on marching over there and dragging her away for an explanation, when I stumbled slightly. My hand shot out to grab at a branch of a bush, only for it to let out a crack that resounded through the silence of the night.

Kay’s head snapped up, and I immediately stilled, staring in horror.

From where I was, I could see that her eyes had turned completely white, reflecting in the yellow glow of the street-lantern nearby, and was that blue on her cheeks?? No, no blue anymore. I remained as still as I could – I didn’t trust white eyed Kay – and remained in the shadows until she slowly turned back towards the water.

A minute passed, where she only stood, then she took another step forward, her toes at the edge of the grassy bank that held her up about half a metre higher above the water level. She leaned further. And further. I was preparing to call out, when she fell, sending a wave to crash over the still surface of the water, and I rushed to my feet.

Nuh uh, there was no way I’m having some water-obsessed demon possess my only earth friend to jump in lakes!!

(Well, more like belly flopped.)

Rounding the edge to where she had stood, chucking the stick in my hand on the ground, and I dived in, getting flashbacks to pulling her out of that pond when we first fell here. In the black depths, I stuck my arms out, hoping to catch onto her at some point.

A turquoise glow appeared from near my feet, and brushing the blurred outlines of pondweed aside, I made out the fuzzy silhouette of Kay as she floated unmoving over the glow, though one of her arms was outstretched, reaching towards it. I then reached out and grasped her shoulder, only for her to begin thrashing in my grip. Despite her flailing, I managed to keep my hands on her, and started dragging her to the surface.

Breaking the surface, I gasped for air, and brought Kay with me, only for her to worsen. This time, she replaced thrashing for screeching, her hands shooting out to claw at where mine were on her biceps. At one point she leaned over to bite me, and I noticed something ghastly.

Her teeth had become pointed and fang-like, snapping menacingly just like the creature had done earlier as it chased me through the woods.

Deciding that enough was enough, I swam towards the shore. More like flopped around, considering I had a feral, possessed Kay in my grip trying to gnaw my arm into a stub.

Reaching a part of the bank that slowly raised into short pebble beach, instead of the miniature grassy cliff, I managed to find my footing, and quickly let go of Kay to shrug off my heavy, now waterlogged coat and chuck it onto the shore. Turning back, I stood and watched as Kay remained on her front in the water, her hands gripping onto the stone as she lifted her head up to glare at me with her white eyes. I took a small step forward, and she bared her teeth, emitting a cat-like hiss. I put my hands on my hips.

“Alright, mermaid time is over.” I deadpanned.

She hissed again, and pushed back against the rocks, trying to re-submerge herself. Acting quick, I kicked at the water, emitting a wave that hit her directly in the face. Whilst she flailed distracted at the attack, I lunged forward and grabbed her under the armpits. She shrieked, arms twisting and flapping about to try and claw at my arms again. Though she had cut her nails recently, so all that she left were shallow red and white lines along my forearms. Dragging her onto the stones, I pinned her down by the shoulders and tried speaking over her hissing and screaming.

“C’mon, you can’t just go –” *HISSS* “ –Stop it. I said you can’t just go around jumping into water whenever you feel like it and expect me to drag you out each time!”

A hand came out and slapped against the side of my head, and I sucked in a breath, gritting my teeth. Shutting my eyes for a second, I let out the breath and opened them again to meet Kay’s white ones, and came to my last option.

“You asked for it.” I warned, raising my eyebrows at her accusingly.

And slapped her across the face.

Letting go, I watched as she rolled over, groaning, and curled in on herself, then stilled. A moment passed, and her head shot up, whipping around with a frown on her face, along with a red mark shining prominently on her left cheek. What was relieving though, was the fact that her eyes had returned to her usual grey. Raising her hand to her cheek, she glared at me.

“The fuck was that for??” She whinged. “That hurt.”

“That hurt?? Then what the hell do you call this??” I raised my forearms up, accidentally flicking water everywhere, to show off the scratches and bitemarks along the skin. She gawked at them with wide eyes, but opened her mouth, outraged.

“I didn’t do that!!” She cried.

“Yes you did! For some reason you thought tonight would be a good time to play mermaids, and have been kicking and screaming ever since, all the while I’ve been trying to drag you out to stop you from drowning yourself!”

“Drag me out – ?” Looking to the side of me, her mouth hung open as she spotted the lake behind me, then down at her clothes, reaching to pull at the drenched shift that was clinging to her skin. “I was – I was in the forest!”

“The forest? What were you doing there?!” I questioned.

“I was there to ask you the same thing!” She exclaimed. “I followed you! To make sure you weren’t doing anything stupid after Bilbo had said you went for a walk. I ended up losing you for a bit when you ran after something, and when I found you looking into that giant rabbit hole, I ended up snapping that twig that scared you into falling in.” She frowned. “Then I think I blacked out, and woke up here – to you slapping the shit out of me, might I mention!” She accused, shoving a soggy finger in my direction.

My hands flew up in protest. “Yeah, cause you were acting possessed! I was walking back to Bilbo’s when I saw you standing on the bank just staring into the water like that girl from The Ring, then you fell in, and when I tried to get you out, you eyes were white and your teeth had magically become sharp for some reason!” I replied, gesturing to the shallow puncture marks in my arms. “All you had to do was grow a fish tail and I would’ve officially thought I was going mad!”

Kay stared incredulously, her mouth hanging open wide enough to catch an entire hoard of flies as she remained in a shocked silence.

“White eyes.” I nodded. “Sharp. teeth.” I nodded again.

“Would I lie about something as crazy as that?” I asked.

Slowly, she shook her head.

“So I went all demon on you?” She questioned, a guilty look on her face.

I thought for a moment. “More like feral mermaid.”

She raised her eyebrows, intrigued by that version.

“But you had no control over yourself.” I stated, and she went back to frowning, deflated at the revelation.

We both sat there, drenched hair clinging to our faces and clothes heavy and dripping with lake water. I ended up pulling a few pieces of pondweed off from where they had caught on my shoulders and legs. Flicking away a piece on my ankle, a tiny nudge of movement caught my eye, and I let out a gasp at the sight of a stick almost identical to the one I had found, held loosely in Kay’s hand. I pointed at it.

“Where did you get that?” I questioned.

She eyed me, confused, then her eyes switched to where I was pointing. Frowning deeper, she quickly brought it up to her face, examining it with wide eyes, before bringing it away and gingerly dropping it down between us.

“I have never seen this before in my life.”

We both stared at the stick as it laid on the pebble shore. Kay got startled as I then scrambled to my feet, kicking stones everywhere, and she watched as I ran along the shoreline, before skidding to a stop to grab something off the ground, and sprinting back. Flopping back onto my spot, I placed my stick next to hers, watching the realisation dawn on Kay’s face as she stared at them.

“I found mine,” I jabbed a finger at it, whilst catching my breath, “Down that rabbit hole I fell down.” Kay’s head shot up to look at me in shock. “It was sticking out of the soil, and when I tried to pull it out, the wall tried sucking me into it, a bit like how you were possessed and almost drowned when getting yours.”

Kay’s eyes glazed over as she stared, her mind most likely travelling a million miles a second as she tried to comprehend the newly revealed information.

“And mine did something.” I added slowly. “I don’t know how, but I ended up blowing a tree to smithereens with it.”

Her eyes refocused, and bore directly into mine.

“Like a wand.” She muttered.

I nodded. “Like magic.”

“There you are!”

We both screamed, jumping high in the air. I toppled over, though quickly regained myself to look up and see a very disgruntled Bilbo standing on the grass at the edge of the beach. He tapped his foot in place, his hands on his hips while a lantern sat at his feet.

“Jesus Bilbo! Where on Earth did you come from?!” I cried, clasping my chest as I tried to steady my breathing. Poor Kay looked as if she was about to cry from fright.

“I came looking for you two!” He pointed at me. “Your curfew ended two hours ago, and you!” He pointed at Kay. “You were supposed to be in bed! Imagine my panic when I found out you weren’t! And look where I find you, playing wizards in the freezing water!” He gestured to the sticks between us.

We both hung our heads, unsure on what to tell him. He looked at the two of us, and let out a long sigh, picking up his lantern.

“Right, come now. You must change out of those shifts and dry them before Mrs Greenfoot has you both by the ear.”

We stood up, both discreetly picking up the sticks and slipping them up our sleeves. Walking up to Bilbo, I grabbed my coat.

“Hurry now, can’t have you both developing an illness now.” He fussed.

“Yes mother.” I jabbed playfully as I passed him, listening amused at the sputtering match that went on behind me, before the hobbit grumbled under his breath, and ushered us along back up the path.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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