Hey guys, this is my first post so I’ll need to set up some ground rules, feel free to skip.
First of all I write NSFW/18+ content, but I will write other content upon request. If you are a minor, evaluate whether or not you will interact with my content at your own risk, but if you find it innaproopitate, please scroll.
I’m an Abby girly, but this is just a Dina fic to test the waters, a full Abby NSFW fic will be released on my page soon too.
The plot dragged on more than I would have liked, I’ll have the smut in bold if u want to skip to that ;)
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Comforting Dina after Ellie leaves
You were relatively new to Jackson. You had been picked up by Jesse’s patrol when moving through a dangerous part of town and had been offered a place there if you could pull your weight. You are a good shot, and cook, for that matter, so finding your place wasn’t too difficult. Still, you felt like an outsider to people who had been there most or all of their lives, and Dina was one of the people who made the adjustment the smoothest.
You always felt safe with her, and had even developed feelings. When you watched her kiss Ellie that night in town, you let your heart break for the last time before moving on.
At least, you thought you had moved on. You still thought about her every day, even if you tried to push the thoughts away.
You were coming back from a regular supply route when you spotted a girl on a horse. She had beautiful, silky black hair in a bun and was wearing a pale yellow flannel.
Was that…?
“It’s Dina!” Someone called excitedly from the gate.
A sharp sensation ran through your body and you found yourself letting out a shaky breath you weren’t aware you had been holding.
Dina. The girl who in the middle of a fucking outbreak, has more fire than a group of soldiers combined. The girl who makes dumb jokes that only she could make sound so sweet. The girl who’s smile was brighter than any light the fireflies so desperately wanted to find, the girl you…liked.
You pull the reins and approach the gate swiftly, leaving your patrol group behind.
When you dismount at the gate and lock eyes with her, it was as if all your pain was, not forgotten, but almost gone. As if Dina had stuck bandaids over the wound.
Dina lets out an excited gasp and runs at you, holding you in her arms tightly.
“I was hoping you’d be here.” She speaks quietly, still smiling as she pulls away from the hug. You nod, barely looking into her eyes as you feel the heat rush to your cheeks.
“Is everything okay? Why’s Ellie not with you guys?” You ask as you plant a soft kiss on JJ’s forehead.
A pale look touches Dina’s ordinarily warm features, and you know immediately what that look implies.
“Oh…oh I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-“
“It��s fine. She’s gone.” Dina says, forcing a soft smile and ignoring the tears in her eyes.
“We’ll have a patrol pick up your stuff tomorrow.” Mariah says, approaching Dina and giving her a hug herself.
Mariah walks behind you, leaning in to your ear.
“Look after her, you’re dismissed from your duties today, your only job is putting a smile on that girl, okay?” She whispers, and Dina seems too lost in her own head to notice.
You nod. “Of course, thank you.”
You take her hand and lead her through the town.
“You hungry?” You ask, eyes wide with worry. She nods.
“Yeah, actually, but I don’t really want to be smothered by people right now.”
“Oh, sorry do you want me to-“
“No, I want you to stay.” She reaffirms, and you nod, still feeling considerably nervous.
You walk past the butcher and the man working there smiles brightly.
“It’s great to have you back Din’s!” Dina forces a smile again.
“Yea…thanks.” She says.
“Uh…What can I get you guys? It’s on me today.” The man says again. You nod and look at the options.
“I’ll get some of those sausages and I know it’s a stupid question but, do you have any steak?” He laughs.
“The answer to that would be no, but Dina can have my sandwich, I was saving it for later but it’s the real good stuff, had to give some trading cards and ammo but, I’m only the cook, what would I do with ammo anyways.”
“Kill me some steak maybe?” You remark, making Dina smile.
“I’m pretty sure he would kill the cow…I don’t think you can “kill steak” Dina informs her, an amused expression still evident.
“Potato potato Dina.” She turns to face the man again.
“What’s in it?” Dina asks.
“Premium pork-“
“She’s Jewish…” You say, instinctively. She looks at you and the man just has a confused expression.
“So…?”
“Well Jewish people typically don’t eat Pork or…shellfish, so-“
“Oh sorry, I didn’t know.
“How did you know that?” Dina asks. You shrug.
“You told me you were Jewish so I read a book about it.” You explain, matter-of-factly. She looks impressed, but doesn’t say anything.
The man hands you the bag with the meat inside.
“Thanks.” You say, leading Dina away again.
“Is there anyone you want to say hi to?” You question. You can hear the snow crunch under your feet. She shakes her head.
“Not today, not like this.” You nod.
“I’ll take you back to yours then, grill you up some lunch. Smothered in onion right?”
“The smellier the better.” She laughs weakly.
When you get to her place, the cold air hits you square on and you both shiver.
“Fuck it’s cold.” Dina remarks, and you can’t help but laugh at her bluntness.
“I’ll get a fire going.” You tell her, taking the lighter out of your pocket. You turn the power on and put the sausage in the fridge.
“I really need a shower…” Dina admits, and you turn to look at her again.
“Uh…alright, yeah I’ll just…I’ll just wait here.”
“Thanks.” She says, walking up to her room and folding up some clothes by her bed.
You then see her turn on the hot water generator and step in to the shower.
You wait by the fire for 5 minutes, then 10. Then, a faint voice over the bathroom exhaust.
“Hey can you come in here please?” You stand up, nervously and make your way to the bathroom, opening the door only a fraction and turning around so you can’t see her.
“I’m here…” You explain, your voice sounding more high pitched than usual and making you cringe.
“I couldn’t find a towel and it’s freezing out. Can you try and find one for me?” She asks. Your cheeks, now a new shade, shape into a nervous smile.
“Of course, where should I look?”
“My room, it’s at the top.”
“Sure.”
————————————
When you return, you see Dina, completely exposed, standing in front of you out of the shower.
You immediately turn around and shut your eyes, bumping into the door during the commotion. She chuckles.
“Turn around.” She instructs, and you do so with your hand over your eyes. Dina rolls her eyes, grabbing your hand and placing it back down.
“What are-“ You don’t even know what to say, you don’t even know what words are anymore. Instead, you just admire her body, the way her complexion paints her body like the artwork it is. The way her hips curve out ever so slightly in ways that her devilish clothing concealed.
“Why didn’t you write me?” She asks, trying not to smile at your currently dropped jaw.
“I um…” With her permission, you now glance at her breasts. You try to convince yourself you’ve never thought about what they might look like before, but you give up trying to convince yourself of that and decide they are more beautiful than anything you have or could have imagined.
“Did you not get my letters?” She asks, and now you look back to her eyes.
“Um…I did.” You admit, feeling the heat spread to the back of your neck now.
“Ah, so you just didn’t want to respond?” You roll your eyes.
“That’s not it.”
“Then what?” She asks, sounding more angry than you would have thought. She lets out a deep breath.
“I thought about you all the time, you know? Did you ever think about me?”
“All the time. But how was I supposed to respond? ‘Dear Dina, I’m so happy you and your girlfriend decided to raise sheep and a baby together away from everyone, I’d go visit but I have duty, send my regards to Ellie?’
“Okay, okay, but you could have at least kept me informed, tell me about your life, I mean you could have been dead for all I know.”
“You wouldn’t have believed that.”
“Don’t be so full of yourself. You may have never missed a shot with a rifle, you may not be the kind of girl to go into a house without taking out every single infected first, but I hate to break it to you, you’re not invincible. As unlikely at it would have been, you could have been dead.”
"Fine. But you wouldn’t have cared what I had to say anyway. ‘Dear Dina, I woke up, had breakfast, went on patrol with another stranger who I wished on everything was you instead, but they weren't. I went home, showered and slept like I do every day.”
“I would have cared. I do.” She mutters. You sigh.
“Well I’m sorry. It was just hard for me, hearing you so happy with someone so…”
Dina’s eyebrows raise.
“Yes?”
“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have.”
“Finish your sentence.” Dina argues. You take a deep breath.
“Stupid. She was stupid to have left you, I never would.”
“Yeah well, Joel was the only person Ellie loved.”
“You don’t really believe that…”
“Well to think she truly loved me and chose to leave anyway for a bit of revenge hurts even worse.” You don’t know what to say, you just nod and hand her her towel. She tosses it on the ground.
“Want to hear what I left out in my letters?”
You’re still blushing over her naked body, but nod.
“sure.”
“Dear (reader) I’m trying to be happy with Ellie and JJ and yet all I can think about is you. Sometimes Ellie treats me like I’m nothing and I know why she does, but it hurts to think how well you would treat me if you were here. You’d probably tell me, “it’s okay…” She pauses. “I’m here…” You’d say.” You don’t know how to react to this, so you just keep listening.
“Dear (reader), Ellie left today, and even though it hurt, like nothings hurt before, I feel like a horrible person.” You walk towards her, looking upset at her words.
“Why would you feel like a horrible person?” Dina lowers her head, looking ashamed.
“Because even though I did love her, when she left it felt freeing, and then I saw you at that gate and it felt as if the part of me she took was never really gone at all.”
“Dina…”
“No, don’t fight it.” She says, grabbing your face and placing a warm kiss on your mouth. You sink into the heat of the kiss, tasting her more passionately now. You pull away from the kiss and you see her eyes, consumed with darkened lust.
“Dina.” You say again, more stern this time.
“You broke up with Ellie only a few weeks ago, you’re still hurting and I will NOT be your rebound. Not when I have spent almost an entire yer lo…” You stop yourself.
“You mean a lot to me Dina, I’m not going to ruin this-“
“Please.” Dina says, kissing your neck and making your legs feel weak as a result.
“I’ve been craving you for longer than you could ever realise. I didn’t even truly know till…till I saw you just now” She says between breaths, wrapping her arms over your neck to pull you into a hug. The warmth of her bare skin is elevating, and it feels like every sensation you experience is heightened.
“I’m not going to take advantage of you Dina.”
“You think I’m unattractive?” She asks, and you pull away from the hug, putting a hand on her face.
“Dina, when I look at you I don’t just see my best friend, I see the most beautiful of women. The girl I have liked since I first came to Jackson.” You explain, feeling emotional to bring these thoughts to words.
“You are a rare jewel, and I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret.”
“I know you think I’m not acting on logic, but there has always been something between us. Ellie…she was like an addiction, something I thought I needed to function. I always had to be one way with her, but with you I feel happy, safe. I’ve dreamt of this ever since Ellie and I broke up and I spent the whole ride here just wishing you would feel it back.”
Smutttttttt ya’lllll
—————————————————————
“I….don’t want you to regret this.”
“Then don’t give me anything to regret.” Dina speaks smoothly, kissing you deeply again. You sigh into her mouth and let your tongues dance as your hands slowly lower to her shoulders, your fingers gently trailing her cold skin, still damp and glistening with small water droplets.
You push her back against the sink, the air between you two barely existent as you gasp excitedly and desperately between kisses.
You lower yourself, putting yourself into a position between her legs.
“Can I?” You ask, and Dina gleams at the indication of what you want to do, her head leaning back with anticipation.
You take a moment to admire her cunt, drawing a line between her folds all the way up to her clit with your thumb.
She’s already wet. You can tell by the way your finger glides in, the way she glistens, it turns you on even more, if that were possible. Then, with your thumb still on her clit, you start doing tricks with your index finger, enjoying the sounds of her shaky breaths as you finger her with just the tip of your index finger.
You continue with your fingers, pushing your entire index finger inside this time. She cries out, moaning in pleasure. You remove your finger and suck your index and middle finger before putting them both inside her. You doubt it would have made a differences, she was so wet anyway it would have gone in like two pieces of a perfect puzzle. After caressing the inside of her cunt with your fingers for a few minutes, you decide to finally feed the burning desire to taste her, to feel her come undone on your tongue.
Without so much as a warning, you start eating away at her cunt, sucking and licking sloppily, savouring every inch of her like it’s a 3 course meal.
“F….fucking h… mmm…” Dina struggles, biting her middle finger softly in a barely successful attempt of suppressing the sounds escaping her lips.
You smile, using this as an excuse for more air before going back and attacking her again with your tongue. She tastes so fucking good. You could get drunk off the taste, in fact, you would be a fucking alcoholic if that was the case.
“Oh shit…Oh sh…mmm….so-“ She struggles, letting out a deeper moan this time. “good.”
You move your tongue faster in circular motions on her clit while sucking on her lower lips at the same time. By this point, anything Dina tries to say is inaudible, replaced with fast paced moans and whimpers.
“S….s…mmm…..so..clo-“ She cries out. You don’t stop. You keep going even after it pulses in your mouth and your throat is filled with your new favourite taste. The taste of her.
When it becomes too much for her, she pulls your face away, breathing deeply, eyes slightly shut from the overstimulation.
“Was that…” You hesitate, face red. “Good?” Dina laughs.
“Fuck off.” She manages, still in a stage of ecstasy.
“I don’t want to move too fast or anything but…do you want to have…” You say, clearing your throat “um…” Dina smiles again, nodding.
“Fuck yeah.” With this, you pick her up and bring her to the bedroom just outside the door. As soon as you two are on the bed, she practically tears your shirt off, immediately kissing all over your body. She flips you so her body is on top of yours.
“You look so fucking hot Dina…” You breathe out as she bites down slightly on your neck. She rolls her eyes playfully.
She pulls off your underwear, tossing it on the floor beside her bed.
“I want to do it to you too.” Dina says casually, and you initially feel insecure about letting her, but you agree.
“Mm.” You say as she disappears under the covers. You then feel her hands pulling your legs apart and you help part the way for her. You practically shiver as the starts tonguing your pussy delicately, with a lot more precision than when you did it to her, as if starved.
She then started sucking and the moan that left your mouth was instantaneous. She keeps going and you feel yourself started to soak as you claw on to the bed sheets below.
“Feels so good.” You say, and she keeps going till you feel your body tremble and pulse. She looks up at your, feeling satisfied with your expression. She wipes her mouth with her thumb and then sucks on it for a second, maintaining eye contact with you.
So goes back to the previous position, pulling your body down so it’s below her.
“It’s still cold.” She states as the bareness of your bodies connect. You smirk beneath her.
“Whatever will we do about it?”
“Just shut the fuck up and fuck me.” She orders, and so you let her have her way.
She pushes your leg down and positions herself so she is sitting over it, then you feel her pussy rub on yours and your eyes immediately roll back at the sensation. Without the pleasure of your clit even in the equation yet, you feel as if you’re melting.
Then, she pulls you in closer, moving you just right and making you moan desperately.
“Dina please…” You sigh out as she moves her hips painfully slow in a circular motion.
“J…just like that.” You say again.
Her hands are on your thighs when she starts to pick up speed. She’s moaning too now, her beautiful features looking even better covered in sweat and pleasure.
“Faster….please?” You ask, your voice sounding more helpless than you would have liked. She continues at her current pace, a cruel smirk on her mouth.
“This…” She gasps, riding the sensation. “Is for not stopping earlier when I had already…” You try to increase your own pace and she shoves your legs back down with her full body strength.
“You can come when I say.” She gasps, wrapping her fingers softly around your neck.
“You like that?”
“Mmm.” You reply, eyes closed shut. It isn’t long before a familiar sensation stirs in the pit of your stomach, as bad as you wanted to come, and also didn’t want this to end, it was the best and most conflicting thing you had ever experienced. ,
Dina finally complied and went faster, and you sing out a chorus of moans and whispers.
“I’m gonna cum…” Dina says, still holding you close. “Cum with me.” She says again. You nod, kissing her quickly as you both release on top of each other, liquid lining your bodies and trailing down onto the bed.
You just hold each other, ignoring the stickiness of the situation and letting comfortable silence fall before you too fall back onto the bed, looking into her eyes fondly.
“Do you…regret it yet?” You ask. She shakes her head.
“The only thing I regret is wasting all that water, I’m going to need another shower after all that…excitement.” You both laugh. You lean into her ear and whisper, “We can save water by showering together?” Her smirk widens and she nods.
“The things we do for this town.”
“Mhm.”
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Hot Chocolate, Ice Skates, and Prince Charming
Heya! I’ve just been quietly reading and rereading all your Roman angst and I hope you’re not tired of writing it because I have an idea 😅 How about some christmas Roman angst? I can’t think of anything specific but there’s that XD Keep up the writing and don’t feel pressured to post the fic on Christmas or to even take the request ❤️- lio-the-chaotic-nonbeanie-weenie
Hello hello! :) Absolutely adore your work, and I hope you're having a wonderful holiday! I have come with a request for whenever you're up to it. If you would, it would be amazing to see your take on a Christmas-y themed fic with a focus on disabled Virgil. I had a hankering for Hallmark styled Christmas movies lately and I was just thinking about how fun it would be in your style. Hope that's ok! – anon
Read on Ao3
Warnings: some ableist language
Pairings: prinxiety (i am ashamed at how long it took me to fucking remember what their ship name is jfc)
Word Count: 10,080
At some point, Virgil will work out the exact science of how much to say 'yes' to friends who desperately want to do holiday-spirit-festive-stuff because they're his friends and he loves being there to watch them love things, but he also does not enjoy dying of either pain or sensory overload. This year doesn't look to be one of those years where he does better than others, though, if being surrounded by screaming children and off-key grainy speakers belting Mariah Carey for the past Too Fucking Long is any indication. He ducks his head to avoid yet another flying something-or-other as he huddles in on himself, making sure his cane doesn't get knocked over for the fourth time in as many minutes.
"Excuse me?"
He turns, half expecting someone selling cotton candy or those little memorabilia keychains, and—
Oh.
Hello.
***
Virgil, fed up with the holiday spirit, meets Roman, a man who seems far too good to be true for such an auspicious time of year. From apology hot chocolate to late-night Christmas lights, maybe this year the magic will linger just a little bit longer.
At some point, Virgil will work out the exact science of how much to say 'yes' to friends who desperately want to do holiday-spirit-festive-stuff because they're his friends and he loves being there to watch them love things, but he also does not enjoy dying of either pain or sensory overload. This year doesn't look to be one of those years where he does better than others, though, if being surrounded by screaming children and off-key grainy speakers belting Mariah Carey for the past Too Fucking Long is any indication. He ducks his head to avoid yet another flying something-or-other as he huddles in on himself, making sure his cane doesn't get knocked over for the fourth time in as many minutes.
May your days be merry and bright indeed.
He sighs, squinting fruitlessly through the crowd to maybe catch sight of one of his friends' coats or something, before realizing that there's absolutely no way he's going to be able to do that when he can't even see the skating rink over the crowd gathered around the outside. And sure, he could stand, but is he going to? No. So he may as well just continue sitting here until one of them remembers that yeah, he's here too, and wades through the horde to his little bench oasis.
"Excuse me?"
He turns, half expecting someone selling cotton candy or those little memorabilia keychains, and—
Oh.
Hello.
"Sorry," the actual fucking model in front of him says, smiling sheepishly, "is the other half of this bench taken?"
"No," Virgil says way too quickly, but can you fucking blame him? The prettiest human that's ever existed just asked if he could sit down next to him. "Bench, uh—bench is very much not taken, you can—you can sit."
"Thanks."
Well, this might have backfired, because now very-pretty-attractive person is sitting right next to Virgil. And he definitely knows how to deal with this. Yeah, this is fine. This is totally fine. He just has to not keep sneaking glances at his perfectly coiffed hair…or his jawline…or the freckle right on the end of his nose…
"Is there something on my face?"
Shit. Fuck. "No, no, you're fine—" really fucking fine, dude— "sorry, I, uh, didn't mean to stare."
He chuckles. Not fair. Not fair at all. "It's okay, honey, no harm done."
Abort fucking mission, abort fucking mission, Very Pretty Person just called me a pet name, shit fuck holy shit what the fuck am I supposed to do?
He's spared the humiliation of verbal floundering when he chuckles again and holds out his hand. "Roman."
"Virgil." Please God, I hope my hand isn't too sweaty. "Nice, uh, nice to meet you."
"Likewise." Roman nods his chin toward the skating rink. "Taking a break?"
"Oh, I, uh, I'm not really big into ice skating."
"You've dragged yourself all the way to the madhouse and you're not going inside?"
"My friends," he says lamely, waving toward the entrance, "they really wanted to come, so I tagged along."
Roman hums, tilting his head. "Not very nice of them to leave you behind, is it?"
Shut up, he hisses at his heart which starts to pulse threateningly towards his throat, it's fine. This is fine. "It's fine. I don't really mind."
"Yes, being surrounded by extremely loud children and sitting right underneath a speaker," Roman says skeptically, "I'm sure."
"Well, I—uh—"
Roman sighs. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude. It's none of my business, I know."
It totally could be your business though. Like, I would have exactly zero problems if you decided it was your business.
"I'll go with you if you want."
Virgil shakes himself out of his thoughts in time to see Roman smiling softly at him and he needs to figure out what the fuck he just said real fast before he gets lost in it. "Sorry, what?"
"If you want to go skate," Roman repeats, "I know it's hard if you're by yourself, especially in a crowd this big, so I'd be happy to come with if you wanted."
His heart sinks and the cane at his side grows a little colder. He forces himself to smile and shakes his head. "Sorry, I, uh, really am not into skating."
"Come on," Roman coaxes, holding his hand out, "I promise I'll be nice."
This is torture. This is literal actual torture and Virgil is about to sink into this fucking bench because the most attractive person he's ever fucking laid eyes on is asking him to skate and he can't and he's going to have to say no and then Roman might leave and they won't get a chance to talk anymore or he'll find out why Virgil doesn't want to skate and then it might turn out that he's not actually as sweet and charming as he's acting right now and—
Virgil's eyes slide to his cane and back up to Roman's. Roman follows his gaze, a cute little wrinkle between his brows, before his eyes widen in realization and his mouth drops open.
"O-oh," he stammers, "sorry, I thought—I didn't—"
"It's fine," Virgil mutters, picking up his cane and hunching over it.
"There's—well, I suppose there's no coming back from that." Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Roman's cheeks turn a little pinker—so cute—and scratch the back of his head. "Can I buy you a hot chocolate to make up for it?"
Virgil's head snaps around. He stares at Roman. "What?"
"As an apology. I'll even make sure they put extra whipped cream on it."
He vaguely hears himself say something about sprinkles and then Roman's grinning again and sliding from the bench and vanishing into the crowd. Part of Virgil wants to immediately get up and run after him, but his hands are still wrapped around his cane and all he can do is hope to God that Roman wasn't some hallucination or fantasy and there really is a cute guy going to but him apology hot chocolate.
Five minutes pass.
Ten.
Fifteen.
No sign of Roman.
Virgil checks his phone and sees nothing—no text messages from his friends, no alarm, nothing except the battery he really should have charged before leaving the house and he now has to use extremely sparingly. The sinking feeling in his stomach is back; maybe Roman just wanted a quick and easy exit away from the pathetic whelp with the cane, or maybe he realized that there was something better he could be doing. He wouldn't blame him, not really. He might call him an ableist asshole the next time—if they ever saw each other again, but—
"Sorry, I'm so sorry," he hears breathlessly, "the line was miles long and then they couldn't find the sprinkles."
He turns, hardly daring to believe it, when he sees a massive cup of still-steaming hot chocolate with a mountain of whipped cream and red and green sprinkles held out toward him. He pries one of his hands from his cane and takes it, looking between it and Roman with disbelief. Roman smiles at him again and nods to the cup.
"Is that enough whip-cream?"
"Yeah," Virgil says faintly, "that's—I don't think I've ever seen this much before."
"Well, you deserve it," Roman says like an asshole because now Virgil has to down like half of it in one go to prevent him from seeing how fucking red he gets at that one little comment and he nearly burns his tongue off for it. "Whoa, whoa! Slow down, no one's gonna take it away from you, don't burn your mouth!"
"Too late."
Roman just chuckles again, like he's fond, like that's something they do, and he leans back against the bench. "Suit yourself, honey."
And now he has to do it again. Honestly.
You could not pay Virgil to remember what all they talk about. He doesn't know. He's too busy memorizing the crooked half-smile Roman has when he's vaguely amused by something, or the cute wrinkle that forms when he's thinking or concerned, or the way he keeps reaching out to almost touch Virgil's shoulder before changing his mind last-minute and leaning on the bench instead. He wants to reach back for him so bad but he's trying to hold the hot chocolate and his cane at the same time. His cheeks hurt from smiling and blushing and apparently Roman is really good at saying little things to make that worse. Does he remember what they are? No, because he's not paying attention to shit like that.
They're laughing at something—again, who knows what—when Roman checks his phone and sighs.
"I'm sorry, I have to go. But it was really nice to meet you and sit with you."
"You, uh, you too."
Roman grins and stands. "Happy Holidays, Virgil," he says, and disappears into the crowd.
"You too," he says, way too late, just as he realizes that he didn't even ask for Roman's number.
He looks down at the dregs of the hot chocolate and finds himself smiling slightly.
Maybe being dragged out here wasn't the worst thing after all.
2.
He truly doesn't expect to see Roman ever again, and he may have moped around the house for a few hours upon realizing that, so it takes him by surprise when he ends up sitting in the corner of some mall as his friends go last-minute shopping and a familiar voice calls out.
"Virgil?"
He almost breaks his neck with how fast he turns around. "Roman?"
Roman grins at him, a bag over his arm, before nodding to the other chair at the table. "Do you mind if I join you?"
"Yes! I mean, no. I mean—please sit down."
"That's on me, I should've asked it in a less-annoying-to-answer way." He sets the bag on the floor and tucks his hands into his pockets. "Can I be really honest with you?"
"Sure."
"I wanted to run back to the bench the second I left because I realized I didn't ask you for your number. So, can I do that now before I forget again?"
"Yes," he says, pulling his phone out before Roman's even finished speaking, "yes, absolutely, go ahead. I wanted to do the same thing."
They exchange numbers and Virgil's in the middle of totally not putting a bunch of cute things after Roman's name because he has standards and a reputation—but come on, his last name is literally 'Prince,' what the fuck is he supposed to do?—when Roman calls his name and he looks up, surprised. Roman laughs and holds up his phone.
"Can I take a photo? For your contact?"
"Uh—um—sure?"
"Not that I'd forget what your pretty face looks like," Roman says as he takes a picture in the middle of Virgil blushing like an idiot, "but in case I want a reminder."
This. This is what he didn't remember. That Roman is apparently really good at being charming—literally Prince Charming, this is fake, this isn't real, people like Roman don't actually exist, where are the camera crews and reality show hosts?
"Alright, now that's out of the way…" Roman trails off when he notices that Virgil's still staring at the table, his cheeks bright red. "Hey, you okay?"
"I—uh—you—"
He chuckles. "Still stunnable, I see? Sorry, honey, am I being mean?"
"Okay, well, it's hard to tell how sincere you're being when you're still doing it, so—"
Roman throws his head back and laughs, holding his hands up in surrender. "Okay, you got me."
"Rude."
"You're still smiling at me, though."
"Shut up."
"Your smile is cute."
"Shut up," he mumbles again, trying to hide his face in his sleeves. Unfortunately, that means he's not balancing his cane against the table anymore and it falls to the ground with a loud clatter. A few people walking by turn to look. He goes to pick it back up only to realize Roman's already doing it, leaning it back against the table. "Oh, uh, thanks."
"Of course." He inclines his head toward some of the stores nearby. "You here by yourself?"
"No. Friends scrambling for last-minute stuff."
Roman makes a noise. "I'm not getting a fantastic impression of these friends of yours who drag you places and then leave you."
"They're not so bad, they know to pick places with easy seating so I can take breaks when I need them. Besides, they know better than to take me in certain places."
"Oh? Do tell."
"Apparently there's only so many times I can call out fancy soaps for smelling like ass before I get politely asked to leave, but—"
"Wait, wait, wait," Roman says, sitting forward with a grin, "you gotta tell me everything now, you can't just leave it there."
And so, Virgil dutifully recounts the story of the time some of his friends decided a fun way to spend the afternoon was to go into the fancy soap and other scented things shop to 'browse,' when in reality they were just going to see what the most obscure and specific scent was and mock it mercilessly. They managed to find everything from 'Bourbon-soaked Cotton' to 'Miasma,' which of course prompted Virgil to point out that they really didn't think that one through because miasma was the 'bad air' that supposedly caused things like the Black Death and you probably didn't want a candle called 'Miasma' in your house, which logically led to them all pretending to be plague doctors by wrapping up the complimentary cardboard box/bag things and holding them in front of their faces like plague doctor masks and acting like they'd discovered some new herbs to treat the nefarious diseases with.
Needless to say, they were politely asked to never come back ever again, and they definitely kept pretending to be plague doctors as they were 'escorted from the premises.'
Roman's fully collapsed back into the chair, shaking with laughter, by the time Virgil finishes telling the story. He has to stop and just look at him, because of course Prince Charming is really fucking pretty when he's laughing, and then he looks up at Virgil with that soft smile again and he can literally feel himself melting inside his hoodie.
"Well," he says through the last of the laughter, "I can see why they asked you not to come back."
"Yeah, well…" He shrugs. "Plus, if my friends actually want to get any shopping done, they decided it's best if I don't tag along so they can actually, you know, focus."
"Can't say I blame them, then. I'd be distracted by you too."
"Roman!"
"Okay, okay, I'm done, I promise." He grins. "I think your face might explode, it's so damn red."
'Yeah, well, whose fault is that?"
Roman holds a hand over his chest and bows halfway, like he's actually out of some period drama and wearing a fancy knight's costume instead of a button-down coat and scarf. "My deepest apologies, Virgil."
"Yeah, yeah, knock it off," Virgil grumbles as he chuckles.
They sit there in the quiet for a few more moments as a few groups of kids run by. The lights strung up around the pillars and various levels of the mall sparkle with that faux-snow-wet look as Christmas carols play over the speakers, Virgil taps his fingers absentmindedly to the beat, watching an ad play inside one of the stores.
"Okay, I have a potentially rude question that you can totally tell me to shut up for."
Part of Virgil immediately raises its hackles, but he turns to look at him. "Okay?"
Roman nods to his cane. "Where did you get your cane? My great-aunt uses one and she's been complaining about how boring her current one is for like, as long as I can remember, and yours is sick as hell."
It is pretty cool—it has this purple holo body and Virgil's stuck all sorts of stickers to it and the base is really nice and it's got an adjustable length too. "I can text you the name of the place?"
"Yeah, that'd be great, thank you."
He sends it off and puts his phone on the table. "That wasn't a rude question, by the way. That was fine."
Roman's shoulders visibly slump. "Okay, great, I wasn't—I really wasn't sure. I don't—sorry."
Virgil's eyes widen slightly as Roman starts to…fluster?
"I don't know a lot of people who use mobility aids on the regular and so I don't…really know what sort of things are appropriate to ask."
"You're fine," he says, still a little bemused, "you're doing great."
But then Roman smiles at him all soft again and he has to look away and cough before he starts getting all red again.
"Besides, you're right. My cane is sick as hell and it deserves compliments."
"It's definitely the coolest one I've ever seen. How did you get the stickers to stay so well?"
"There's this Etsy seller who specifically made them to go on mobility aids—she has forearm crutches and hers are decked out with cool shit, so I bought a couple for mine just to try them out and then, well, I couldn't stop."
"Could you send me the name of that place too? My aunt might want some."
"Sure, yeah, give me a moment to find it."
As he looks through his phone, he catches sight of Roman watching him. Not in a creepy way, he's just doing that fond thing where he's got his head slightly tilted and he's still smiling like he's just happy to be here with Virgil and he needs to stop thinking about it right now before his ears start going bright red too.
"There. Sent."
"Thanks, Virgil." He checks his phone just to make sure he's gotten it before he stands up. "I'd love to sit here all day with you, but I do have to run."
"Oh. Okay."
"I'll text you, okay? If you're not—I mean, if you don't have plans, I'd really like to see you again."
"Yeah," he says, grinning like an idiot, "I'd like that too."
He's still staring off in the direction Roman went when his friends come to tell him that they may have gotten kicked out of another store.
3.
Prince Charming: I have another potentially rude question.
Virgil tries not to grin when he sees Roman's text. He knows better than that. Absolutely not.
He fails.
Me: what's up
Prince Charming: How far of a walk is too long of a walk before you need a break?
Me: walking is actually fine it's standing that makes me want to die
Me: i mean i'm not trying to hike a mountain
Prince Charming: No, I suppose that makes sense.
Me: why?
Prince Charming: One of my favorite things to do this time of year is go to the Tadford Park Conservatory. They have this really cool thing they do to get all festive and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me? They have places to sit on the way and it's basically a greenhouse so we don't need to lug big heavy coats around.
Virgil quickly looks up 'Tadford Park Conservatory' and scrolls through the pictures of the plants and decorations. Honestly, it looks stunning. He's about to say as much when he gets another text,
Prince Charming: And I have a car so I could pick you up and we could drive.
Me: that sounds really amazing when do you want to go?
Prince Charming: Are you free tomorrow?
Me: sure am
Prince Charming: Can I pick you up at 9?
Me: absolutely see you then
Prince Charming: Perfect :)
Only after Virgil's put the phone down and gone back to what he was doing does he realize he has no idea whether this is supposed to be a date or not.
Is it? No, Roman would've said. Right? That seems like something you'd say. You'd be like: 'hey, I want to do this thing with you as a date.' Or 'hey, I want to take you out and I thought we could do this.' Something like that. Something that puts a big and flashy 'this is a date' sign on it. Roman didn't do that. And Roman seems like the person who would do that. Right? Maybe Virgil should ask. That was reasonable, to ask if something was a dare. But then what if Roman hadn't intended for it to be a date? Then it would get really awkward and Virgil would have to backtrack and then Roman might offer to make it a date out of pity and then it would be even more awkward and Virgil wouldn't actually get to enjoy anything they did because he'd be too busy thinking about how awkward it was and then it would be ruined and—
No. He's just gonna act like he's going to do something fun with a friend. He does that all the time.
Just so happens that Roman's Roman.
It's gonna be fine.
So fine.
He really is so fine—okay, that's enough of that.
He definitely stresses over what he's wearing for way too long before he gets a knock on his door and he just throws a coat over it before he can overthink it and goes to meet Roman. Roman opens his car door for him like he's really some prince that crawled out of a storybook and it doesn't even feel like he's doing it out of pity, like he'd do it even if Virgil didn't have a cane, which is another thing to fret about as Roman drives them to the conservatory. As they walk inside, Virgil goes fumbling for his wallet only for Roman to reveal that he's already gotten their tickets, scanning the code at the front and going over to the coat closet.
"How much do I owe you?"
"Oh, it's on me." Roman hangs up his coat and huffs a laugh when he sees the way Virgil's staring at him. "What's that for?"
"No, really, I saw those ticket prices, there's no way—"
"My mom has a membership, we basically got in for free. It's okay, honey, you don't have to worry about it."
Virgil mumbles something about pet names being unfair as Roman chuckles and they start walking toward the doors. A wave of warm air washes over them as they step through and Virgil's eyes widen as he looks around at the plants and decorations hanging from the ceiling. It's like he's stepped into some alternate reality, trees curling up and over him in a green ceiling as vibrant flowers bloom impossibly bright, catching the glistening light as the giant ornaments overhead twist and turn in the faint breeze. The faint smell of freshly watered plants mixes with the pine and gingerbread from the lobby as they start walking and he can't pay attention to where he's going because every few seconds, he sees something else incredible. Bright blue flowers. A tree with bark like peeling parchment. A crawling vine straight out of a fairytale book. Roman keeps him as much on the path and out of the crowd as possible and he can't even spare the attention to thank him.
"It's beautiful," he manages as they near another door, "it's so pretty, Roman."
"Yes, it is."
"If you're looking at me while you say that, I swear to God—" Roman pushes open another door and they start into a room filled with flowering trees— "holy shit."
Roman chuckles and guides them to a bench underneath one of them. "Do you want to sit for a second or keep going?"
"How close is the next bench after this one?"
"Two rooms down, I think."
"I can make it until there."
They walk through a room of twisting and turning jungle trees, ferns and other smaller plants hiding between the leaves. They pass a pond of koi fish swimming underneath a massive tree. The room with the bench has a long, clear pool in its center, flanked by paths through what look to be walls of moss and other ferns, a waterfall at the far end. Roman walks them carefully over one of the paths to a bench tucked into a little alcove, through which they can see the pool and the bright green foliage on the other side. Virgil sits down, still spellbound at the room.
"I'd ask if you were enjoying yourself," comes Roman's voice, "but I think I know the answer."
"It's like I've been transported to some fantasy realm, this is so cool. How have I never known this existed?"
"A lot of people don't come here. Which is good because I'm selfish and I really like when there's not a lot of crowds." Roman sits back, one leg slung over the other. "But—I don't know why. Maybe it's because they think plants are boring or something."
"They're fucking wrong."
He chuckles. "Yeah, I think so too. I'm glad you like it."
"Okay, it's my turn to ask a potentially rude question."
"Shoot."
"Why here? I mean, it's gorgeous, and the decorations really help, but it's not—a conservatory isn't really what I think of when I think of festive stuff."
Roman sighs. Ripples from the waterfall spread out along the pool's surface. "I don't know, really. I think it's just because holidays are really hectic for me and this place…never really feels like that. It's always sort of like this, calm, serene. Quiet. I think…I think I just really like that."
Virgil turns at the wistful note in Roman's voice, watching him send one of those soft smiles at the pool. The greenery around them almost seems to curve, like the petals of a flower around its center. Roman…fits here, like he really is some prince that even nature itself can't help but adore.
…fuck, he's so far gone.
He loses track of time as they sit there, just enjoying the still quiet of the room. The ferns have their own smell, soft and sweet, that mixes with the crisp dampness of the water as some misters turn on to water the plants. He holds his hand out in front of one, just for a second, watching the droplets catch on his hand and sparkle as he turns them in the light. Roman's side presses against his after a while and he finds himself lost slightly to the solid comfort of it. And then, well, then that's all he thinks about for a while.
At least until his stomach growls and ruins the moment.
"Come on," Roman chuckles, "the food's not far from here."
The cafe bustles with energy after being in that quiet room for so long, and Virgil quickly finds a table to sit at while Roman goes and gets the food. He does have to slightly threaten Roman into letting him pay for their lunch, but Roman concedes after a while and goes to stand in line. He pulls out his phone to send the few pictures he remembered to take to the group chat, when suddenly—
"Shame on you, young man!"
Virgil startles so badly that he almost drops his phone. He looks up to see a stern older woman glaring at him, hands on her hips. "Uh—"
"How dare you?" she says again, wagging her finger at him. "You go and find whoever you stole that from and give it back right this instant!"
"I don't—what—what are you talking about?"
"What do you mean, what am I talking about?" She points at his cane. "That does not belong to you! You're old enough to know better, especially to steal something like that, your parents would be so disappointed in you!"
Oh. Oh, fuck, it's one of these. Disgust and embarrassment crawl up his throat as a few people at the surrounding tables start to look over. He swallows. "Actually, that is mine."
The woman scoffs. "What do you think, I was born yesterday?"
"That is my cane," he says, voice a bit firmer. "I bought it with my money, I use it for my disability. I didn't steal it. It's my cane."
She looks him up and down over the rim of her glasses. "You? You expect me to believe a young person like you uses a cane? What on earth could you possibly need a cane for?"
And really, he should be used to it by now, he's had ableist assholes like this yelling at him for actual years, he shouldn't be this upset over it. But goddamnit, this day was going well. He was having a good time. And now someone is telling him his disability doesn't exist and he should be ashamed for using a mobility aid and he can feel his eyes starting to water even as he struggles for words.
"Excuse me."
Roman. He looks up to see Roman setting a tray with their food on the table, his hand coming to rest on Virgil's shoulder.
"Would you like to explain why you're bothering someone you don't know?"
The woman splutters. "I—well, I—"
"It is none of your business what someone else does to take care of themselves," Roman says, cutting her off firmly, "you do not get to make assumptions about someone else's life and act as though you know the truth. No one would be so rude as to insist you don't need glasses, would they?"
"People your age don't need canes!"
"And people your age should know to treat people better." Roman gives her a look that's so profoundly disappointed that he can see a few people wince in sympathy. "This time of year is supposed to be about sharing compassion and kindness. I hope for your sake you learn that this season."
He turns his back pointedly and the woman shuffles off without another word.
"Are you okay?" Roman asks, his voice so soft and worried that it almost gives Virgil whiplash. "I'm so sorry that happened."
"It's not your fault," he mumbles, "and…thank you."
"You don't need to thank me for being a decent person, honey."
"Yeah, well…" Roman's hand is still on his shoulder and he dares to lean into it a little. "Still. Thanks."
Roman still looks a little worried but he pushes Virgil's food towards him. "Here. Eat."
"Thanks."
Roman doesn't sit across from him. He sits next to him and after a moment, lets his leg rest against Virgil's. Virgil almost chokes on his sandwich but quickly shakes his head when Roman looks up, concerned.
"Is this alright?"
"Yeah, it's…more than alright." Virgil smiles. "You're really great, Roman."
Nice one, asshole.
"So are you." After a moment, his smile widens. "When we're finished, do you want to go see the desert room? There's a bench in there too."
"Cactuses?"
"I think it's technically cacti, but yes."
"Don't make me look up grammar while I'm eating."
"Wouldn't dream of it."
4.
Virgil gets another text the night before he's supposed to get lunch with Roman. He peers at his phone, sitting up from his horrible position on the couch.
Prince Charming: Hey, I'm sorry to do this so last minute, but my boss really wants me to come in in the morning tomorrow. I don't think I'll be able to come pick you up to go to the place.
Me: is there public that can get me there?
Prince Charming: You'd have to walk a fair ways and it's not like it's nice outside right now.
Virgil glances at the snowstorm outside and winces at the thought of all the ice. He's about to figure out a way to propose a rain check—or snow check—without upsetting either of them when his phone buzzes again.
Prince Charming: I mean, if it's not too much of an ask, I could always pick you up before I go into work and you could come with me? I don't think it'd be longer than a few hours at the most and then we could just go straight there afterwards.
Me: what do you mean come to work with you?
Prince Charming: I could pick you up and drive us both to the arena. There are the offices and stuff upstairs where you could sit and work or do something until I'm done then we could go?
Me: would your boss care that there's just some random person with you?
Prince Charming: You're not just some random person, Virgil. And no, he won't care.
Virgil's too caught up in the fact that Roman said he's not just some random person to really think about it when he sends back a 'yes,' nor did he really read the part where Roman mentioned an arena.
But sure enough, that's what they pull up to the next morning and Virgil's left blinking at the giant sign that says 'Stadium Entrance' as they get out of the car. He glances at Roman, who looks truly nonplussed as he leads the way to the door. He waves at the person at the front—Virgil waves too on instinct—and nods toward the elevator.
"I told them I was bringing someone, you can go on up and find somewhere to sit, if you want. I can come with too if you'd rather?"
"You, uh, you can go. I think I can find something."
"If anyone tries to give you shit, just say you're with me, okay?"
He huffs a laugh. "What, are you some kind of famous person?"
Roman laughs too, but it comes out a bit too forced. "Something like that."
And before he can ask what the fuck that means, Roman's walking off down another hallway and Virgil just shrugs and goes to find somewhere to sit. The elevator takes him up to something that looks almost like an office and he wanders into an open room, sitting down and shooting off a text to let Roman know where he is. He gets a quick acknowledgment and that he'll let him know when he's done. He switches over to the thing he'd been looking at in the car and loses himself quickly in the mindless scroll of the Internet.
He's not sure how much time passes before he glances around for an outlet to charge his phone. He drags a chair over to the corner and plugs in the charger, looking around as he waits for the little beep that lets him know it's working. There's a set of screens on the far wall, each showing a different camera, he presumes. One of them looks out at a loading dock, one of them shows a skating rink where someone's training, one of them shows another empty rink, and the last one has another door—probably a secondary exit of some kind. He shrugs and looks back at his phone.
"Excuse me?"
He looks up to see a man with glasses and a big coffee mug with cat whiskers peering through the door. "Uh, hi?"
"Are you supposed to be in here?"
"I, um, I'm with Roman? He said I could find somewhere up here to sit?"
"Oh, you must be Virgil!" Virgil blinks as the man grins and comes over to offer his hand. "I'm Patton, nice to meet you."
"Hi, Patton. Uh—you are? Sorry."
"No, it's fine, you're all good. I'm one of the event coordinators for the arena. Roman talks about you all the time, I was wondering if we'd ever get to meet you."
"Yeah, I, uh…nice to meet you too." Virgil shuffles a bit. "You, uh, have you worked with Roman for long?"
"Sort of—I don't work with Roman directly, but I see him when he's booked here. They've decided to train here this year, which is exciting, but he's so busy all the time." Patton grins, crossing his arms. "But I guess you know that, huh?"
"Yeah, I—wait, you—" he frowns. "What do you mean 'booked here?'"
"For a show or a competition or something." Patton leans down, muttering like they're sharing a secret. "Between you and me, I don't blame you for sitting up here. It gets cold in the rinks, doesn't it?"
"Sorry—can we go back another step?" Virgil shakes his head. "What do you mean, for a show or competition?"
Patton frowns. "For the season."
"What season? Season of what?"
He frowns for another second, before something like exasperation makes him sigh. "Did Roman tell you what he does?"
"No. Not even a little bit."
Patton sighs again and nods to the screens. "That's him, on the camera there."
Virgil turns to look. The only person on the screens is the one skating. Wait—
"That's Roman?"
"Roman Prince, reigning champion," Patton says, coming up behind him as Virgil stares at Roman training on the ice, "I'm not that surprised he didn't tell you, he's surprisingly private about his off-stage life."
Roman skates. Roman is a figure skater. Roman competes at a professional level as a skater. Roman is the fucking reigning champion?
He hears Patton say something about getting back to work but if he needs anything, let him know. He must respond—he hopes it wasn't too rude—but he's too focused on the way Roman is literally fucking dancing on the ice right now. He looks like he's at the Olympics. Shit, has Roman been to the Olympics? Why didn't Roman tell him he skates for a living? Why is he here while Roman is training? And what the fuck did Patton mean about Roman talking about him all the time?
He completely fucking forgets about his phone as he watches Roman skate. Every so often someone else skates up to him—his trainer, probably, even though Roman called him his boss. Shit, Roman really didn't want him to know about this, did he? Is he gonna be mad that Virgil's watching him?
He's really fucking good.
It feels like no time at all before Roman's disappearing from the frame and then he gets a text that he's almost done, coming up to find him, and Virgil's still staring at the screen trying to fit the pieces together that Roman's a professional skater who talks about him to the people he works with.
He doesn't quite manage that by the time Roman's pushing the door open with a breathless smile, his hair slightly messy, and his cheeks glowing from the exercise.
"Hey, sorry about that, but I'm all done, we can…"
He trails off when he notices Virgil staring at the screens, smile fading a bit.
"Right," he says, mostly to himself, "forgot about those."
"You, uh," Virgil mumbles, "so you skate?"
"Yeah. I skate."
There's a moment. Someone down the hall opens a door.
"I'm sure you have questions," Roman says finally, "but can I answer them in the car?"
"Yeah, sure."
Roman's quiet as they go back downstairs, waving to the front desk person again. They get in the car and start driving. Virgil bites his tongue for as long as he can before they finally stop at a red light and he musters his courage.
"Why didn't you tell me you skate?"
He hears Roman sigh. "I didn't mean to keep it a secret from you, it's just…I didn't know how you'd react."
"Did you think I wouldn't think it was a real job, or something?"
"What? No, no, I just—I didn't know if you watched skating or followed it at all or—or if you'd know who I am, or something like that." The light turns green and Roman turns onto the next road. "And then…well, it's not like I know what you do for a living either."
"I'm a systems engineer."
"Oh. That's cool."
"Thanks."
They drive for a few more minutes.
"Patton said you're quiet about your private life," he says, like an asshole, and he wants to take it back as soon as it comes out but Roman's already answering.
"Yeah, well, I'm not famous famous like some people are, but I'm…people know me. And it's not like I want people poking into what I do when I'm not being Roman Prince on the ice. Plus, especially with it being the holidays…" He trails off and sighs again. "Sorry, I don't want to bring the mood down."
"You're not bringing the mood down, you're just talking. You can tell me if you want to."
They stop at another red light and Roman looks at him. Really looks at him, like he's trying to figure out if Virgil's telling the truth. Which he is, he totally is, and he hopes Roman can see that. He must, or at least decide Virgil's not just asking to be nosy, because he looks away again.
"There are people who are into figure skating all year long and that's great, but they're, like, fans. And I love my fans, really, but I don't—sometimes it gets a bit much, you know?"
"Yeah."
"And then there are people who just like it for the holidays because it's 'festive.' Like, 'oh, let's go ice skating, it's Christmas,' or 'oh, let's go see a skating show because it's winter,' that sort of thing. And then they do it, and then it's done, and they go home and have their actual holidays together, and…"
Something terribly sad enters Roman's voice as they sit in the snow at the light, and Virgil suddenly has the image of a performer's smile fading as the lights go out. And it strikes him how terribly lonely what Roman's describing sounds, like he's just something people check off their lists and then move on with those they actually care about. And how much Patton seemed to understand that of course Roman didn't tell him what he did for a living.
"You want people to want to spend time with you for who you are," he says quietly, "not what you are."
"Yeah," Roman says back, equally soft, "that's it."
He looks down at his cane, spinning it in his hand. "I get that."
"I know you do." Roman reaches out and puts a hand on his shoulder. "I really didn't mean to keep secrets."
"It's fine, I get it. But thank you for telling me."
The light turns green and they start driving again. The silence feels gentler, somehow, Roman even starts humming under his breath. It's that same song that was playing over the speakers when they first met at the park.
Wait a fucking second.
"You asked me to skate."
"Huh?"
"When we met, at the park, you offered to skate with me. Even though you skate for a living and someone might have recognized you."
"What was I supposed to do?" Roman sighs, but this time it's clear he's going for drama. "I was talking to this cute guy and my brain fell out of my ears."
"You—what?"
Roman glances over and chuckles. "You're getting all blushy again, you know."
"I—what—shut up!"
"Did Patton also say I talk about you all the time?"
"Maybe!"
"Well, there you go, cutie. Wha—hey, hey! I'm driving!"
"You'll fucking live, you absolute dick."
But Roman's laughing again and he looks so happy that Virgil can't be mad for very much longer. And, you know, he is driving, and he would like to make it to the restaurant in one piece.
"You're paying for lunch, you know."
"Whatever you say, cutie."
5.
"If you dragged me all the way out here for nothing, I swear to God—"
"We're almost there, I promise, I promise."
Virgil groans, slumping down in the car seat at Roman makes yet another turn. Roman texted him two hours ago asking if he was free and could they go somewhere really quickly, he promises it's worth it, and Virgil had been too caught up in the sappy floaty feeling of Roman's excitement to say no, and now here they are, driving who the fuck knows where, in the dark, up a path that barely has any lights.
"How do you even know we're not getting lost?"
"We're not lost, I know exactly where we are."
"So if I got out a paper map and said 'where are we,' you could point to it and you'd be right?"
"Well, I'd be more impressed that you had a paper map with this exact area that you could be accurate about—"
"What, you don't think I've got maps?"
"I'd never doubt your map capabilities, Virgil."
"You'd better not, the atlas my mom got me for fourth grade would be so disappointed at you when I throw it at your head."
"I'm sorry, you're the one throwing it and it's going to be disappointed at me?"
"Yeah, 'cause you did something so outrageous it's made me need to throw it."
Roman chuckles as he makes another turn—are they going up a hill or something? "My mistake. Really, we are almost there."
"Uh-huh."
"What, you don't believe me?"
"I believe you about as much as I did the last ten times you've said it."
"I have not said it ten times!"
"No, you've said it way more than ten times."
"Well, if you keep asking 'are we there yet,' I'm going to keep answering you."
"Are we there yet?"
"Almost."
"Are we there y—" Roman reaches over and pushes his shoulder lightly. "Okay, okay, I'll knock it off."
"Look, see that sign?"
Virgil sits up and peers through the windshield at the sign that reads 'Observation Point.' "Yeah."
"That's where we're going."
"Fine, fine, you're not a liar."
"Thank you."
Sure enough, it really is only a few more moments before Roman's pulling the car out onto a large flat overlook and putting it in park. Virgil looks around, trying to figure out what exactly they're doing all the way out here and why Roman was so insistent that they go tonight, when Roman turns the headlights off. "Whoa, whoa, what are you doing?"
"Relax, I'm keeping the heat on so we don't freeze." He nods out the window. "Look."
"I can't see shit, Roman, look at what?"
"Give your eyes a second to adjust."
He looks, truly not expecting to see anything. It's just blackness, the afterglow of the headlights still burning his retinas out. He squints. There are surprisingly few clouds out tonight, especially considering the winter weather they're supposed to get later this week. He can sort of see something through the gloom, below them, but it's not that clear yet. Slowly, little by little, his eyes adjust and…
"Oh," he says in a rush of breath.
The entire city sprawls out beneath them. Glittering and shimmering houses, buildings, Christmas lights and flashing decorations. The snow sparkles with it, the glow almost a sea of wonder against the inky blue night sky. Reds, greens, blues, purples, far-away inflatables that must be giant but look like nothing more than storybook characters from this high up. Some of the houses closest to them have trees, right out front, others have sleighs and reindeer, even more have snowmen just barely lit by the edges of the shining lights.
It's incredible.
"I didn't think I'd get a chance to see it this year," Roman says, as if he's afraid to break the silence, "but then it cleared up and I knew it'd be perfect."
Virgil can't say anything. He's too spellbound.
"Thank you for coming with me."
"Thank you for asking. This is—holy fuck, Roman, this is so fucking cool."
"I'm glad you like it. I was a bit worried with the roads, sometimes they don't clear them properly, but at least we can sit in the car instead of having to walk or something."
Maybe it's the fact that he's tired, or the surge of sappiness when Roman had said he'd known it'd be perfect and he'd reached out for Virgil, or maybe he's been holding this in since Roman held out that stupid hot chocolate. Whatever it is, Virgil sniffles.
"Whoa, hey, hey," Roman murmurs right away, reaching out for him like the stupidly perfect Prince Charming, "what's wrong, honey? Are you okay? Did I say something wrong?"
"No," Virgil spits through his stupid tears, "no, you did—you did everything right."
"O..kay?"
"You did everything right," he says again, "you—you made sure we could drive so we could just sit in the car and you picked me up so you could drive me instead of making me take the bus and you asked how much walking was too much walking and you stood up for me and you asked me if it was rude before you asked about my cane and you got me hot chocolate and you're—you're—"
An actual sob chokes out of his mouth and he claps a hand over it, only for Roman to let out a noise of dismay and coaxes his hand away, holding it tightly. He leans over the console and tenderly wipes away one of Virgil's tears and it's too soft and gentle and perfect—
"You did everything right," Virgil manages, not daring to look at Roman's concerned face, "you—you're too sweet."
Roman lets out the softest noise and strokes his cheek again. "You're worth being sweet to, honey."
"Shut up, you're gonna make me cry more."
"That's okay, honey, you can cry. That's—it's a good cry, right?"
"Yeah, you bastard, it's a good cry." He sniffles. "Now shut up."
"Can I shut up and hug you?"
"Yes."
And goddamnit, an awkward hug where Roman has to lean halfway out of his seat over the console to get his arms around him should not feel so warm and safe and comforting, but fuck it, Virgil's already crying into his shoulder anyway, he might as well fully commit to it. If Roman has a problem with contorting himself to hug a sobbing mess, he doesn't say anything about it. No, he just keeps humming and shushing Virgil with sweet nonsense, his hand alternating between carding through his hair and stroking his cheek. It's not fair, and Virgil's not giving it up for anything.
Eventually, his tears run dry and he scrubs his nose with his sleeve as Roman sits back down, keeping one hand on the back of his neck. Fingers play with the hair right above his collar. He sniffles.
"Sorry."
"Don't apologize, honey, it's okay. You didn't do anything wrong."
"I just cried all over you."
"Oh no," Roman says dryly, "however will I survive such a terrible fate?"
"Yeah, yeah, shut up."
Roman chuckles, fingers still scratching lightly at Virgil's scalp. "Really, Virgil, it's alright. I'm just glad I'm not the only one getting all sappy."
If he were less emotionally drained from crying, or if Roman's fingers were less good at making him melt into a boneless little puddle, he might have had a retort for that. Instead, he just looks out over the lights in all their sparkling glory and sighs, leaning into the touch. Roman starts humming again and there they sit, enjoying the night.
"If I fall asleep," he mumbles, "will you wake me up?"
"If you fall asleep, I'll drive you home and then wake you up so we can get you to bed."
"Fine."
He tries. He tries doggedly to stay awake, to not miss a moment of this, of the lights, the night, of Roman and his stupid Prince-Charming self. But he must fall asleep, or at least get close to it, because the fingers in his hair slow, and stop. Roman chuckles softly, and the car starts, and they drive through the night. And for a moment, as they leave behind the sea of lights, he thinks that Roman lied to him—they can't be in a car, just driving home.
Not when it feels like they're flying.
+1.
It's really a surprise that he managed to hold it back for this long, but it was eventually going to happen.
The swirling mist of a monster that is his anxiety has been biding its time, waiting for him to let his guard down to spring out and warp him up in its stupid fucking mess and make him stop appreciating everything that's going on and make it just the fucking worst.
Roman Prince is too perfect, it decides. There's no way this all gets to happen to him and there's no catch. The image of the hidden cameras and the reality show crew comes back; when do they jump out and say it's all fake? When is the illusion going to shatter?
Maybe he's just biding his time and trying to find a way to exit Virgil's life and never return. Maybe he has a partner, or something, and he really thinks Virgil's just his friend. Maybe he's not even gay. Maybe Virgil's just a fling and he's going to leave as soon as New Year's is over. Maybe he's going to get swept up in his life of professional figure skating again and Virgil will be stuck with chasing down his shows and competitions to even see him ever again. Maybe they're going to become the friends that aren't really friends but they still have each other's number for some reason.
Maybe—
"You're thinking too loudly," Roman murmurs from where his face is tucked near the crook of Virgil's shoulder, reaching out to pause the movie, "are you okay?"
Virgil sighs, leaning back into Roman's embrace. He'd surprised him by coming over—well, no, he'd texted to ask if Virgil would mind if he came over, but that was out of nowhere, so it counted—and then they'd ordered way too much food and put on a Christmas movie, and Virgil had pushed for The Nightmare Before Christmas and Roman hadn't protested. And then Roman had asked if he could cuddle him—"Because it's a crime to leave you sitting there on the couch, in the dark, like you have no one to cuddle you, honey."—and then he'd wrapped his arms around him and it'd been all warm and soft and cozy and Virgil hadn't wanted to move to get his hot chocolate from the coffee table that probably wasn't even hot anymore—
"You're still drifting." Roman sits up, pulling away. "Is everything okay?"
Virgil bites his lip. "It's dumb."
"I like dumb things."
"You'll laugh."
"Only if you say something funny."
"You'll be mad," he says in a very quiet voice, and he feels Roman stutter above him. He squeezes his eyes shut.
"Oh, honey," he hears distantly, before the couch is shifting under him and there are warm hands carefully cupping his face. "Will you look at me, please?"
He doesn't want to. He wants to stay here in the dark with Roman touching him like he's something precious, but then Roman's calling his name and fuck it, he can't disappoint Roman, so he opens his eyes. Roman smiles at him with that same fucking soft smile that's been taking him out at the knees since day one, and he can tell he's pouting before Roman even says anything.
"I'm not going to be mad," he says with all the patience in the world, "if something's bothering you, I want to know about it. Please, tell me?"
"You're not leaving, right?"
As soon as the words leave his mouth and Roman scrunches up his face in confusion, he wants to run away and hide under all his blankets and never speak to anyone again.
"Never mind. Forget it."
"What do you mean, am I leaving?"
"I said forget it. See? Dumb. Never mind."
"Don't do that," Roman chides gently, pulling his focus back, "don't hide from me. What did you mean?"
Virgil sighs, trying to not lose himself in how warm Roman's hands are. "It's just—everyone leaves. Sort of. I know—I mean I get it. I get how these things go. You—it's the holidays, right? You get all the emotions and then New Year's happens and you move on. I know that happens, I know that's how it works sometimes, and it's fine, I get it, but—"
"Slow down." He sits up. "Why do you think I'm leaving?"
Fuck it. "Because you're too perfect, okay? You—you're sweet and kind and you help me with everything and you're fun to be around and you're funny and you're smart and—and you're really fucking attractive, and I don't—" he takes a deep breath— "I don't know what to do about it anymore, okay?"
Roman's quiet. He's quiet for a long moment. Then his hands leave Virgil's face and he cringes, curling up in on himself—he's done it, he's made Roman leave, it's his fault, it's all his fault, they didn't even make it to New Year's—
His eyes fly open in shock when Roman suddenly hugs him tightly. His breath leaves him in a rush as Roman squeezes, holding him with such a fierce strength that he just ends up going limp in his hold.
"I don't know," Roman growls, "what sort of absolute assholes have been so cruel to you that you think everyone is just going to leave, but they'd better fucking hope we never meet."
"Wh—what?"
"You're fucking perfect too, Virgil. You're smart and you make me laugh and you're genuinely kind to people and you—you make me feel safe, okay?" He pulls back but somehow this is worse because now they're just staring into each other's eyes. "You're amazing. Why the hell would I want to leave you?"
"I—um—well—"
"I don't want to leave," Roman confesses, and fuck, Virgil can hear his heart breaking, "do…you don't want me to leave, do you?"
"No," he says in a rush, "no, I don't want you to leave."
"Great, 'cause I wanna be stuck with you until you're sick of me."
"I'm not gonna get sick of you—"
"Well, I'm not gonna get sick of you either—"
"Great!"
"Great!"
And then he's the one leaning forward to knock Roman over with a hug. Roman wraps his arms just as tightly around him and suddenly there's a kiss being pressed to his head.
Everything stops.
"Shit," Roman breathes, and it curls around his ear, "I…I meant to ask if that was okay before I did it, I'm sorry, I—"
But Virgil's already turned and pressed a kiss of his own to Roman's jaw. He feels more than hears Roman's breath stutter, the chest under him jumping as Roman turns to look at him. Like this, their faces are barely a few inches apart, and Roman smells like hot chocolate.
"It's okay," Virgil mumbles into their shared space, "it's…more than okay."
And there Roman goes, curling his mouth up into that fucking soft smile again, and then he's sliding a hand up to cup the back of Virgil's. "So I can kiss you?"
"Yes, you can kiss me."
Fuck, he tastes like hot chocolate too.
"I'm not leaving," Roman whispers against his lips, not bothering to pull away, "I'm not leaving you, baby."
"Fuck."
"No good?"
"Very good," Virgil mumbles, leaning forward again, but then his phone is buzzing and he's pulling back with a curse to make it shut the fuck up. Roman comes up and wraps his arms around him again, hands slowly playing with the hem of his sweater as his chin hooks over his shoulder. "I'm almost done, I promise."
"Am I 'Prince Charming' in your phone?"
"No," Virgil says, like a liar as he throws his phone onto the floor.
"Aww, that's so cute, baby."
"Shut up and kiss me, Princey."
"As you wish," Roman murmurs, and then Virgil doesn't have a chance to think about the fact that he just called Roman 'Princey.'
They don't end up finishing the movie, but Roman says they can watch the rest over breakfast instead.
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