#lost city of ib
Photo
The Altar of Sekhulos
The melted fluting of the obscene edifice betrayed no seam or mortar. Rather, the stone was once a single slab, carved meticulously by clawed hands until its hidden terrors burst free. To behold its horrid perfection was to be gripped with the gnawing fear of what might have oozed forth had those claws slipped in their labors.
Midjourney AI Prompt: a throne room made of slabes of green stone lined with fossils, massive throne made of bones, under a DNA model made of femurs, sickly green flame torches and candles, villainous lair, creepy, spooky, macabre, ultra-sharp details, in the style of Tim Burton + jack kirby, + brian froud + kim jung gi, matte painting, animation background painting, post process, artstation tending
#the adventures of albert sauros#albert sauros#ib#lovecraftian#doom that came to sarnath#dungeons and dragons#D&D#pathfinder#beings of ib#lost city of ib#miidjourney#midjourney ai#generative art
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
…ELECTRIC LADY 📺💋🚬
pairing: 70s!ellie x reader
synopsis: the devil’s back in town and there’s no angel to save you.
author’s note: the lack of these ellie fics was baffling. LIKE THE MULLET IS RIGHT THERE! ib the lovely @ellabsweet
part one. > part two.
⋆˚✿˖°
“why’s she keep showing up?”
“well if you give a dog a bone.”
“oh fuck off i ain’t give her nothing but a good time. she’s the one asking me to leave with her to a different state.”
“road trip? maybe that’ll do you good.”
“you need to get fucked every which way and loose. you’re too uptight, doll.”
was why your feet were currently dangling outside the window of the ever charming girl’s 72 grey oldsmobile, cross hanging just above the dashboard. you bop your body a bit before reaching down to grab a tape she’d left on the passenger seat floor.
“aww man, jimi hendrix.” she nods, tapping her finger on the steering wheel. she’s leant back in the drivers seat, eyes cross with the road. cigarette tucked behind her right ear.
“you know, i don’t know you that well anymore. the city’s changed you.” you open her glove box to find a bottle of brown liquor and a light. “and yet you still agreed to come with me.”
“against my will.” you roll your eyes. it’d been three hours into the trip and you were feigning boredom. all the flavor had gone from your gum, and you weren’t in the mood for a book.
ellie was a country city country girl, cause it all happened in that exact order. a couple years ago she moved to where the buildings were brighter and the possibilities were endless. you’d actually been talking about her the day she came back.
“that’s ellie.” you point to the picture of the smiling girl pinned to the diner wall. “she’s a big star now, too good for us.” you explained to eilaine. she’d just moved into town and you two quickly bonded over music, makeup, and dancing. throw a little gossip in the mix while you’re at it.
you nearly chuck up your milkshake when the chime rings and the aforementioned movie star walks in. hands in her pockets and a smile on her face. she’d cut her hair into a mullet and was dressed like something you’d only seen in a magazine.
“speak of the devil.” you get up to give her a hug.
“and he shall appear.” she hugs back. “hi darling, i’ve missed you.”
a bit of light conversation over some drinks, nuts, and a game of pool that you lost had led you to be huddled up in the hot car with her. how the hell did she convince you to join her in that big city of hers? well it wasn’t all her, your roommates were dying to get you out of there.
“it’s only for a month? let her take you for longer!” dina says mid makeup. she hadn’t even evened out her eyeliner before she started sending you off. and abby was no help. “i can’t protest. i think it’d be good for you, we’ll have that sweet new girl cover your shifts.”
“did you guys plan this behind my back or something?” your eyes follow abby’s body swiftly moving to the closet to pull out a suitcase. “if we did you’d be gone already, now start packing.”
#・❥・ bun’s sweet ellie#ellie williams#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams headcanons#ellie williams imagine#ellie williams x you#70s!ellie#ellie williams fluff#ellie williams tlou#ellie williams fanfic#ellie william x reader#ellie williams fanfiction#ellie williams smut#ellie williams the last of us#ellie williams au#ellie x you#ellie x reader#ellie x f!reader#ellie x y/n#ellie the last of us#ellie x fem reader#ellie fanfic#ellie tlou#tlou ellie#ellie smut#wlw fanfic#lesbian#wlw imagine#beforeimdeceased#© abbysvictim
486 notes
·
View notes
Text
𝐆𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐂𝐚𝐫 ✯ 𝐎.𝐌𝐢𝐲𝐚
"𝙎𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙'𝙫𝙚 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙄'𝙙 𝙗𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚. 𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙢𝙚𝙩 𝙢𝙚"
PAIRING. Miya Osamu x f!Reader
CONTENT. Angst, unrequited love, rebound relationship
Osamu and Y/N, both recovering from serious breakups, find solace in a casual fling. Yet, emotions soon diverge. Osamu yearns for something deeper, while Y/N hesitates to leave the pain behind
WC. 4.0k
A/N. My one shots are getting longer and I hope my writing is better lol. This one isn't really a sad ending its like bittersweet, its sad for Osamu but alright for reader. Was going to write a smut for this I was going to continue it as something longer but wtv. Reader is a red flag in this but so is Osamu. Makes more sense if you watched 500 days of summer.
Ib: 500 days of summer
Not edited
Masterlink - Songs Unwritten
The night was alive with the flickering neon lights of the city as Y/N found herself at a dimly lit bar, trying to escape the suffocating weight of her broken engagement. She nursed a cocktail, her fingers tracing the edge of the glass absently. She needed a distraction, something to numb the pain and fill the void.
Across the bar, a man caught her eye. He looked familiar, like someone she had seen in passing but never really noticed. His grey hair was casually tousled, and he had an air of quiet confidence about him. As if feeling her gaze, he turned and their eyes locked for a moment before he smiled, beckoning her over with a slight nod.
Curiosity mingled with her vulnerability, and Y/N found herself drawn to him. She approached cautiously, unsure of what this encounter might lead to.
"Mind if I join you?" he asked, gesturing to the empty seat beside her.
"Sure," Y/N replied, attempting to sound nonchalant despite the turmoil inside her.
"I'm Osamu," he introduced himself, extending a hand.
"Y/N," she responded, shaking his hand.
Their conversation flowed effortlessly, as if they had known each other for years. Osamu had a calming presence, and Y/N felt her worries fading away as laughter filled the air. They shared stories about their lives, their past relationships, and their dreams for the future.
"I got out of a long-term relationship not too long ago," Osamu admitted, his eyes searching Y/N's for a reaction.
She nodded understandingly, finding comfort in the fact that he could relate to her current situation. "I just ended my engagement," she confessed, feeling a knot forming in her stomach as the words left her lips.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Osamu said, genuine empathy in his voice. "Sometimes, life takes unexpected turns, and we find ourselves on paths we never imagined."
Y/N took a deep breath, trying to push away the pain. "Yeah, that's true."
As the night wore on, their connection grew stronger, and they found themselves lost in each other's company. Eventually, Osamu leaned in closer, his lips almost brushing against her ear as he whispered, "What if we become each other's rebound? Just for tonight, to forget the past and enjoy the moment?"
The proposition hung in the air, tempting and dangerous all at once. Y/N knew it was a risky move, but she couldn't deny the allure of escaping into a temporary fling with a man who seemed to understand her pain.
Part of her wanted to say no, to take the safe path and avoid more heartache. But another part of her, a part clouded by grief and longing, yearned for the connection that Osamu offered.
As Y/N stood outside the bar, her heart was torn between caution and desire. She knew the risks involved in getting into a rebound with Osamu, the handsome stranger who seemed to be the perfect escape from her shattered engagement. The logical part of her mind screamed warnings, reminding her of the inevitable heartbreak that would follow. But her emotions were in turmoil, craving a distraction from the pain that seemed to engulf her.
She had been through so much in the past few days, and the idea of being wanted, even if only for a fleeting moment, was like a lifeline. Osamu's presence felt like a temporary respite, a reprieve from the reality of her failed relationship. The allure of forgetting her troubles, at least for a night, pulled her towards him like a magnetic force.
But somewhere deep within her, a voice whispered, urging her to be cautious, to protect her already fragile heart. She had seen friends fall into rebounds before, and the aftermath was never pretty. It was like pouring salt into an open wound, exacerbating the pain she was trying so desperately to numb.
Y/N took a deep breath, trying to steady herself as she weighed the consequences. She knew that getting into Osamu's car would be like stepping into the unknown, willingly subjecting herself to an emotional rollercoaster with no guarantee of a happy ending. But at that moment, it felt like the only way to escape her reality.
Her thoughts swirled like a tempest, and she battled the conflicting emotions raging within her. "What am I doing?" she asked herself silently. She knew that deep down, she deserved more than just a rebound, more than being a fleeting distraction in someone else's life. But her heart ached for connection, for warmth, for the feeling of being desired and cared for.
In that moment, Y/N made a decision, one that she knew might lead to heartbreak but was also a desperate attempt to find a moment of solace amidst the chaos. She stepped forward, walking towards Osamu, who awaited her with a gentle smile. "Let's do it," she said, her voice betraying both trepidation and determination.
Osamu's face lit up with a mix of surprise and excitement, but he respected the vulnerability in her eyes. "Are you sure?" he asked, giving her one last chance to back out.
Y/N hesitated for a moment, glancing back at the safe haven of the bar. But then, she met Osamu's gaze, and something in his eyes reassured her. He had his own share of scars, and maybe they could find solace in each other, however temporary it might be.
"Yes," she said finally, taking his hand and letting him lead her to his car.
A crooked smile appeared on Osamu's face, and he took her hand, leading her out of the bar. They walked to a nearby parking lot, where his car was parked. The city lights danced on the sleek black exterior as he opened the passenger door for her, a gesture that felt strangely intimate.
As they drove through the city streets, the reality of her decision sank in, and Y/N's heart fluttered with a mix of anticipation and fear. She knew this would be a bittersweet journey, one that she would remember for a lifetime. But right now, she just wanted to lose herself in the moment, to forget about the pain and uncertainty that loomed ahead.
"You know, Osamu," she began, feeling a mix of nerves and determination. "I want to be upfront with you. I just got out of an engagement, and I'm not looking for anything serious right now."
Osamu's expression softened, placing his hand on hers. "I understand," he said gently. "I'm not looking to rush into anything either. Let's just take things as they come, no pressure."
Relief washed over Y/N as she realized that Osamu was on the same page. She didn't want to close herself off to the possibility of connection, but she needed time to heal and find herself again.
The night was a blur of laughter, shared stories, and stolen glances, all tinged with the knowledge that this was temporary. They leaned into each other's touch, their lips meeting in the dark, searching for a connection that would fill the void in their hearts.
Over the next few weeks, they fell into an easy rhythm, enjoying each other's company without the burden of expectations. Y/N felt herself opening up to Osamu, sharing pieces of herself that she had kept hidden for years. But she couldn't help but notice that he sometimes withdrew, his eyes clouded with memories of his past relationship.
As the days turned into weeks, Osamu found himself growing more attached to Y/N. He couldn't help but be drawn to her warmth and vulnerability, which reminded him of his ex-girlfriend. His past relationship had left a profound impact on him, and he carried the weight of his codependence and idealization into this new connection.
In his mind, Osamu began to create a fantasy about their future together. He imagined them as a perfect couple, deeply in love and sharing a life filled with joy and happiness. But he didn't realize that he was projecting his own desires onto Y/N, assuming that she would eventually change her mind and want the same things.
Even though Y/N had been upfront about not wanting anything serious, Osamu convinced himself that she would eventually see how wonderful they could be together. He believed that if he showed her enough love and commitment, she would want to be in a serious relationship with him.
But the more he pushed his expectations onto Y/N, the more he felt the strain of the situation. He knew that he was putting pressure on her, and that it wasn't fair to either of them. He tried to suppress his anxieties, but his whole mental state became centered around the idea of being with her, and he couldn't help but feel a constant sense of unease.
Y/N, on the other hand, was trying her best to be understanding and patient with Osamu. But she also knew that she couldn't give him what he wanted, and she felt guilty for not being able to reciprocate his feelings fully.
Their once easy companionship began to feel strained as Osamu's expectations weighed heavily on their interactions. He would bring up the future they could have together, and while Y/N appreciated his affection, she also felt overwhelmed by the pressure.
Y/N had always been fiercely independent and never one to shy away from her desires. After the whirlwind of her last serious relationship, she made a vow to herself that she would focus on her own growth and happiness. She didn't want anything serious, at least not for now.
When Y/N met Osamu, she was immediately drawn to his warmth and charm. He was caring and attentive, and she enjoyed the easy companionship they shared. But as their connection deepened, she could sense that Osamu wanted something more than what she was ready to give.
Their dates were filled with laughter and affection, but Y/N kept a part of herself guarded, afraid of letting anyone too close. She had built walls around her heart, shielding it from the pain she had experienced before. And even though Osamu tried to chip away at those walls with every sweet gesture and kind word, she couldn't bring herself to fully let go.
Osamu, on the other hand, was eager to find someone to share his life with again. He had gone through his own heartbreak in the past, but he believed that Y/N was different, worth the risk of vulnerability. He saw potential in their relationship, and it scared him how much he cared for her, knowing that she might not be willing to meet him at the same emotional level.
One evening, as they strolled along the beach under a sky painted with stars, Osamu gently broached the subject that had been tugging at his heart for some time. "Y/N, I want to be honest with you. I'm falling for you, and I want something serious, something real. But I sense that you might not be in the same place right now."
Y/N's heart sank, knowing that he was right. She cared for Osamu deeply, but she was emotionally unavailable, unable to give him what he deserved. She looked down at the sand beneath her feet, unsure of how to respond without hurting him.
"I appreciate your honesty, Osamu," she said softly, her voice tinged with sadness. "You mean a lot to me, and I enjoy being with you. But I'm not ready for anything serious. I hope you understand."
The air around them felt heavy with tension as Y/N and Osamu sat facing each other. Y/N took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts, knowing that what she was about to say might hurt Osamu even more.
"I never wanted anything serious," she began, her voice soft but firm. "From the beginning, I was clear about it. I didn't want to jump into a committed relationship."
Osamu's face contorted with confusion and frustration. "But you gave me mixed signals," he protested. "You acted like you cared about me, like we had something special."
Y/N nodded, understanding his confusion but needing to clarify her position. "I do care about you, Osamu. You're a wonderful person, and I enjoyed our time together. But I thought we were on the same page – having fun, enjoying each other's company without any pressure for a serious commitment."
Osamu shook his head, feeling a knot forming in his stomach. "I thought I could handle that at first, but the more time we spent together, the more I realized I wanted more. I wanted us to be exclusive, to build something real."
"I'm sorry," Y/N said, her voice tinged with regret. "I should have been clearer about my intentions from the start. I didn't mean to hurt you."
Osamu ran a hand through his hair, frustration evident in his gestures. "I just don't understand why you wouldn't want something more with me. We have a great connection, and I care about you so much."
"I care about you too," Y/N replied sincerely. "But I'm just not in the right place for a serious relationship right now. I need time to focus on myself, to heal from my past, and to figure out what I truly want."
Osamu's eyes bore into hers, searching for answers that she couldn't give. "So, what? You never saw a future with us?"
Y/N hesitated, choosing her words carefully. "I never said that. I just couldn't see it at this point in my life. And I didn't want to lead you on or make promises I couldn't keep."
Osamu leaned back, his frustration giving way to a sense of resignation. "I guess I just hoped you would change your mind, that we could work through it together."
Y/N reached out and placed a gentle hand on his. "Osamu, I understand that this is difficult for you, and I'm truly sorry for any pain I've caused. But I can't change how I feel or what I'm ready for."
He sighed, pulling his hand away. "I thought I could convince you, that if I showed you how much I cared, you'd want to be with me too."
"It's not about convincing," Y/N said softly. "Feelings aren't something you can negotiate or persuade. They're either there or they're not."
Osamu looked down at the floor, trying to process her words. "I guess I just thought that if we had something good, it would naturally lead to more."
Y/N nodded, understanding his perspective. "But sometimes, two people can be great together and still not want the same things."
A heavy silence settled between them, filled with the weight of unspoken emotions. Y/N knew that she had to stand her ground, even if it hurt both of them. She couldn't compromise her own emotional well-being to appease someone else's desires.
"I think it's best if we take some space," Osamu finally said, his voice tinged with sadness. "I need time to process all of this."
Y/N nodded in agreement, knowing that it was the right decision. "I understand. Take all the time you need."
As they parted ways that day, Y/N couldn't help but feel a sense of sorrow. She never wanted to hurt Osamu, but she also knew that she couldn't force herself into something she wasn't ready for.
The air between Y/N and Osamu felt heavy with unspoken emotions as they sat in the dimly lit café. The tension between them had been building for weeks, and it was now impossible to ignore. Their once vibrant connection had started to fade, replaced by arguments and emotional discussions that seemed to lead nowhere.
Osamu struggled to make sense of Y/N's mixed signals and her reluctance to commit. He felt distant from her, as if the person he had grown close to was slipping through his fingers. He loved her deeply, but her refusal to define their relationship left him feeling lost and confused.
As the café chatter buzzed around them, Y/N finally spoke up, her voice tinged with uncertainty. "Osamu, I care about you, but I can't give you what you want. I'm not ready for a serious commitment, and I don't see a future for us beyond what we have now."
His heart sank, and he felt a lump forming in his throat. He had hoped that Y/N would eventually change her mind, that she would see how much they could have together. But now, reality crashed down on him like a tidal wave.
"Why? Why can't you give us a chance?" he asked, trying to keep the hurt from his voice.
Y/N looked down at the table, her gaze avoiding his. "It's not that I don't care about you, Osamu. But I need time to figure things out for myself. I don't want to rush into something I'm not ready for, and I can't promise you something I can't deliver."
Osamu struggled to hold back tears, feeling a mix of frustration and heartbreak. "I just don't understand," he whispered. "We have something special, don't we?"
Y/N nodded, her eyes shimmering with tears. "Yes, we do. But that doesn't mean I can give you what you want. I don't want to hurt you, but I can't change how I feel."
As the days passed, the strain on their relationship became unbearable. They tried to salvage what they had, but it was clear that they wanted different things. Arguments and emotional discussions became a recurring pattern, leaving both of them feeling drained and distant.
Osamu couldn't help but cling to the idealized version of Y/N that he had created in his mind. He believed that if he just held on a little longer, she would see how perfect they could be together. But deep down, he knew that he was holding onto an illusion that didn't match the reality of their situation.
One evening, after another emotional argument, Osamu finally mustered the courage to face the truth. He realized that he couldn't force Y/N to love him the way he loved her. He deserved someone who reciprocated his feelings fully, someone who wanted the same things he did.
With a heavy heart, Osamu met Y/N one last time to end things. He felt a mix of sadness and relief, knowing that it was the right decision, even if it broke his heart.
"I love you, Y/N," he said, his voice trembling with emotion. "But I can't keep holding onto something that isn't there. I need to let go and find someone who wants the same things as I do."
Y/N's eyes filled with tears, and she reached out to hold his hand. "I'm so sorry, Osamu," she whispered. "I never wanted to hurt you."
Osamu nodded, trying to hold back his own tears. "I know. And I don't blame you. We both deserve to find happiness, even if it's not with each other."
Despite the pain, Y/N and Osamu decided to stay apart for some time, giving each other the space they needed to heal and grow. But as days turned into weeks, Y/N found herself seeking him out again and again, unable to resist the familiar comfort and affection they once shared.
Each time, they would come together, seeking solace in the moment. But as the sun rose, Y/N would pull away once more, reminding herself of her own emotional unavailability. It was a cycle of comfort and heartbreak that seemed to repeat endlessly.
Osamu, too, struggled to resist the pull of their connection. He understood that he needed to move on, but he couldn't help but hold onto hope that one day, Y/N would change her mind.
The weight of the situation had become unbearable for Y/N. She couldn't continue the cycle of comfort and heartbreak any longer. She knew that for both their sakes, it was time to confront the reality of their situation and put an end to the uncertainty.
One evening, as they sat together in a quiet park, the words she had been holding back for so long finally surfaced. The air was heavy with the weight of their unspoken emotions, and Y/N took a deep breath before speaking.
"Osamu, we need to talk," she began, her voice steady but tinged with sadness.
He looked at her, his eyes searching for answers he feared he already knew. "What is it, Y/N?" he asked, his heart sinking.
"I can't do this anymore," she said, her voice cracking with emotion. "I can't keep going back and forth, giving you hope when I know deep down that I can't give you what you want."
"I can't bear the thought of losing you," Osamu pleaded, his voice cracking with emotion. "I know it's complicated, but can't we at least try to make this work? I'm willing to wait, to give you all the time you need."
Y/N's heart ached at the desperation in his eyes, but she knew she had to stay true to herself. She couldn't keep giving him false hope or pretend that a real relationship would ever be possible.
"Osamu, I care about you deeply," she said gently, her voice trembling with sadness. "But I've been honest from the beginning. I don't want anything serious, and I don't see a future for us beyond what we have now."
He looked down, unable to hide the pain in his eyes. "So, that's it then? We just go back to being friends like nothing happened?"
Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes as she reached out to touch his hand, offering him a small, sad smile. "You're still special to me, no matter what," she said softly. "But I can't give you what you want, and I won't keep stringing you along."
Osamu's heart felt like it was being ripped apart. He had hoped against hope that she would change her mind, that she would see how much they could have together. But now, he felt like he had hit a dead-end.
"I don't know if I can do this," he admitted, his voice filled with defeat. "It hurts too much to be just friends."
Y/N nodded, her own heart breaking for him. "I understand," she whispered. "I won't force you to stay, but I hope you know that I'll always cherish the time we spent together."
He looked up at her, his eyes searching for answers that he knew she couldn't give. "I just don't know how to let go," he said, his voice trembling with raw emotion.
Y/N's heart ached at the pain in his voice, and she wished she could take away his suffering. But she also knew that she couldn't be the one to fix him or to give him what he needed.
"You're still my best friend," she said gently, her voice filled with compassion.
With a heavy heart, Osamu finally mustered the strength to get up and leave. Y/N watched him walk away, feeling a mix of sadness and relief. She knew that she had made the right decision, painful as it was.
As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm, golden glow over the city, Y/N and Osamu exchanged one last heartfelt smile. Their paths had diverged, leading them to different destinations in life, but the bittersweet beauty of their shared memories lingered in the air, a reminder of a connection that had once been, and the unspoken "what ifs" that danced in the fading light.
©Minarixx 2023 - please don't copy, repost or translate without my knowledge credit or permission.
#haikyuu#haikyuu angst#haikyuu one shot#haikyuu x reader#hq oneshot#haikyuu x female reader#haikyuu x self insert#osamu miya#miya osamu#osamu x reader#osamu x y/n#osamu x you#osamu miya x reader#osamu miya x you#osamu miya x y/n#miya osamu x reader#miya osamu x you#miya osamu x y/n#osamu angst
87 notes
·
View notes
Text
Love through Time
(Bed of roses and thorns)
Written with the amazing @complicitsacrilege we offer you a different couple this time....
I am Seth, the Golden Prince they called me a long time ago, when I was still a child in my naivety.
I was born in the lands of the great rivers, where life and prosperity were brought by the waters and the floods every year were celebrated as interventions from the gods themselves. I won’t say those lands’ names for all of you are too young to remember and the ancient pronunciation has been lost for millennia now.
I was the son of King Enkil and his Queen, Akasha. I was born to rule and trained to do so since I was old enough to walk. They were gods in the eyes of humans, as was I, despite being brought up in their shadows. I watched them conquer village after village, city after city, land after land, and I learned.
I learned many things about myself and what I was, what we all were. Enkil and Akasha had been mortals, once upon a time. Cursed to the blood by a powerful being who sought revenge for the one he loved.
Then they were monsters, blood drinkers, doomed to a half life only lived at night. They thrived in this new nature. Their innate cruelty finally fed by the new lust they discovered. The world was thrown into wars and chaos and they ruled upon it all.
They were mated.
Such a strange word to indicate the bond between souls. The power of a bond was, and still is, the most inexplicable of all the secrets my kind keep. So powerful that it can destroy the wall of silence between Master and fledgling, it is one of those things of which no one speaks freely.
When I was reborn, the secret was bestowed upon me: a new guardian for the most powerful weapon, one that could control even the strongest of us.
How I wished they never shared it with me. If I had been ignorant I wouldn’t have been foolish enough to look for the one creature born for me, and perhaps I wouldn’t have found him, and left him exposed to their violence.
I found my mate in a young physician who had cared for me when I was merely a prince with all the trappings of mortality.
Fareed, my Imi-ib. Beloved. That was his title. One I would have cherished for all eternity.
I loved him, and he loved me. We kept our love a secret, something precious and only for us. But then I was turned and the secret became even more dangerous to keep, and all the more important.
Until the night I lost everything.
Akasha found us, in a secret chamber and came with guards and fury in her eyes.
My beloved was taken from me that night. The things they did to him before he died in my arms I will never forget.
Just as I never forgot who took him from me.
They taught me that loyalty was rewarded with even deeper commission, but only the worst kind of revenge was reserved for betrayal. So I took everything from them, as they did to me.
They loved to be worshiped as gods, so I took them away, hid them in a magnificent golden temple that I buried in sand. So deeply no one would ever find them again. A grave where their bodies, now akin to statues, would be forever.
They loved power, and I took everything they had for myself. I expanded my kingdom through the lands of the whole earth.
One by one newborn kingdoms fell under my influence and power. There is no place I can’t reach. No man I can’t break, no ruler who hadn’t been destroyed by me.
I took their firstborns.
I took their thrones.
I took everything I wanted by the mere measure of my army and the fear that view inspires.
Of those boys and girls I always demanded as payment, some are now part of my army. Some are so old they are called children of the millennia, like I am. Some have been food for my men, and the others have been turned into objects for their entertainment.
The pain of my loss would have driven me to insanity eons ago otherwise, and I would have sought eternal refuge in the ground, leaving the world to pass on above.
So why do I still rule over these lands instead of rotting below?
The answer is simple.
Even if my kind was born from a curse, we were also given a second chance. Sometimes, when a bond is broken, there is a chance that what was once lost can again be returned.
Incarnated in another body, with another history and even another name, but we will always be able to recognize our mate.
That is why I am the one who remains.
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Monthly Wikipedia repair roundup
Hapantali, Luwian shepherd goddess.
Nabarbi, a Hurrian goddess of remarkable longevity. Small update of an old article since a new source had to be added.
Not particularly extensive updates relying on a freshly published new edition of the Mari god list: Ninigizibara, Ashgi, Igalim, Ninkurra, Manzat, Ilabrat
Since the same article also had fresh Ninshubur info, I updated her article too. Added a few tidbits I missed before like the mysterious “herald of Akkil” from An = Anum.
Alalu, primordial god. Just an update, mostly focused on attestations from Emar.
Numushda, the father-in-law of the eponymous god in the very funny myth Marriage of Martu. I did some work on this article aaages ago but only now I brought it to an acceptable level befitting a locally important deity.
Mammitum, wife of Nergal. NOT the midwife slash occasional fate determination goddess from the Epic of Gilgamesh and Atrahasis (that’s Mami), NOT the goat-headed demon (that one is fully homophonous but isn’t a deity). I’ve also updated the Laz article while at it, though this was pretty minor since I already covered most of what there was to cover. Since that required covering her connection to Simut, I updated his page as well.
Lugalirra and Meslamtaea, sort of like a double Nergal but not quite.
Enegi, lost city, cult center of Ninazu. New page.
Inshushinak, tutelary god of Susa. Long awaited expansion.
Nindub, a small time god from the pantheon of Lagash. Fixed this as it was one of the one line long articles entirely cribbed from that awful 2002 “Encyclopedia of gods” all the way back in 2007.
Aya, “dawn”, wife goddess par excellence. Small update mostly focused on her role in the astronomical compendium MUL.APIN and on secondary names.
Nikkal(-wa-Ib), Hurrian derivative of Ningal introduced to Ugarit at some point. Small update.
Ningal, wife of the moon god Nanna and mother of Inanna. Substantial update of an article I haven’t touched in ages.
Gatumudug, tutelary goddess of Lagash.
Due to work on the Lugal-irra and Meslamta-ea article I realized the Nergal article lacks a detailed discussion of his name and its multiple writings, so that’s fixed now. Including the primary option (Nergal), Meslamtaea, the logograms U.GUR, IGI.DU and the “twin” variants (and their other uses) and a brief overview of epithets (do not expect anything similar to the Epithets of Inanna article for him though, at most I might eventually do a similar one for Adad/Ishkur). There is still a lot of work to be done here but I’ll leave that for another time.
Some more brief updates, mostly stuff I missed during the past wave of medicine goddess article restructuring: Ama-arḫuš, Gunura, Damu, Irnina
More big stuff coming in August.
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
you want some - porco galliard
a/n: I LIVE!! ok. Attack on titan has my heart, and I literally wrote this when I was about 14 and saw Galliard in the manga, but this is the like, new and improved version. in this, all the scouts are spiders, and idk why. but i head-canon that eren would have spitting spider like abilities, and levi would be a camel spider bc they’re known the cut through their prey. i hope everyone has a nice day and why not reply / reblog, or send in an ask or request.
warnings: venom!porco x spider!reader, porco x fem!reader, reader has invisibility powers, and her mask consists of his pupils disappearing, spiderinamn au, kirstein!reader, have a nice day, not proofread. I am drunk and high when i write this
request: yes / no
ib: none
‘You find anything?’ Jean asked, dangling from his web. You swung between the buildings, sticking to one to reply.
‘Nothing useful. There’s just a bunch of old debris from that attack years ago. Still no life or anything.’ You could hear your brother grumble, the noise muffled by his mask, but the annoyance still filtering through.
‘I could’ve sworn this was the way Zeke went. Damnit.’ You stood in silence as he argued with himself.
‘Oi. There’s no point getting worked up. Just keep searching. I’ll go check Liberio , then meet you back here in 30 minutes.’
‘Yeah whatever.’ You rolled your eyes. If Jean was good at anything, it was complaining. He watched as you slowly blended into the environment, making the most of your chameleon-like ability.
‘You need to stop acting like such a baby.’
‘Like you can talk.’ When there was no reply, Jean realised you’d already taken your leave. ‘Stupid.’
‘Have you seen anything?’ Armin asked through a small earpiece.
‘Not yet. But I doubt anything is here. It looks so deserted.’
‘Sounds just like your territory.’ Jean teased from his own position. ‘Do a ground search. There’s only so much we can see from the air.’
Usually you’d ignore his ideas, but this one wasn’t bad. Detaching your web, you lowered yourself to the ground, careful not to get caught in the torn up main street. You were right in your assumption. The place was completely deserted, mind a few pests here and there. The only noise was the soft buzz of a store light.
‘Hey Armin. What’s this place’s yearly power use?’ There was a loud crackling noise from the earpiece, followed by silence. ‘Armin? Jean? Either of you there.’ Again, nothing but crackling. ‘Shit. I lost reception.’
You did a scan of the remains of buildings lining the main street, and shot a web towards an only stone one.
Most of the buildings were in a rough state, very few having windows, and even fewer having all 4 walls intact. One thing that did stick out though was that random buildings had lights on, illuminating the street.
‘Why would there be lights on in an abandoned city?’ You thought. Your thoughts were interrupted by a high frequency from the mic.
‘Y/n!’ Armin suddenly shouted.
‘Hey! Why’d you have to shou-‘
‘You need to get out of there right now! Something big is-‘
The mic cut out before he could finish.
‘Hello. Armin. Come in. Something big is what?’ With no reply, you lifted yourself to the top of a building, trying to reconnect. ‘Armin? Hello?!’ With no reply, which meant no signal, you were practically alone. Well, you thought.
The dumpster thrown at you gave him away.
Narrowly dodging the flying rubbish container, you looked in its direction. Nothing. Only the empty alleyway.
‘I know you’re there!’ You shout, hiding in your surroundings. ‘Otherwise, I wasn’t aware Shiga had flying objects.’ When there was no reply, you frowned. Crawling to the edge of the building, you looked down, finding nothing. ‘Damnit.’
As you go to stand, your earpiece crackles once more. ‘-ehind yo-‘ Armin howled before you’re suddenly pushed into the concrete.
‘Shit.’ You think, trying your best to get up, only to have your arms pinned down by a gooey black substance.
‘Don’t even try.’ A raspy voice above you whispers. ‘Nothing gets out of this. Not even spiders.’ You felt a hand grip your head, turning it to look up, and you came face to face with 2 large white eyes, surrounded by the same stuff as what had you trapped.
‘What are you?’ You stammer, trying to keep your confidence. It laughs. An evil laugh.
‘We are Venom.’
‘We? Th-There’s more of you.’
‘Relax.’ This time, the voice is different. Instead of deep and raspy, the creature had a softer voice, with a more comfortable tone. ‘There’s only 2 of us. And I'm a human, just like you.’
You watched as the goo melted away, revealing the face of a man. A man with a strong jaw, but soft eyes. An undeniable attractive face, but you couldn’t say that, even if you wanted to. This guy had been decided as a villain the minute you were attacked. You watched as he stepped out of ‘Venom’, coming closer to you. As well as an attractive face, he was also quite tall. Or, taller than you at least.
‘So, what’s a pretty lady like yourself doing in my home?’ He asked. You still frowning, moving to attack him, but being restrained by Venom. ‘Come on. It’s an easy question. You can’t have wanted anything valuable. There’s nothing here.’
‘Who are you?’ If you couldn’t escape, you’d get as much info as you could before someone else arrived.
‘Who am I? Well, I’m glad you asked. Porco Galliard. And you’ve met Venom.’
‘Unwillingly, but… yes.’ Venom didn’t seem to talk your comment so nicely, pulling your arms in opposite directions. It felt like the symbiote was trying to tear you in half. ‘Ah shit.’
‘Hey. Venom. Quit it.’ Porco said, turning to him.
‘Oh please. Let me tear the spider apart. What’s the point in having her around? Her friends will be here soon.’
‘I’m aware of that, but it doesn’t matter. God. You have terrible people skills.’ If Venom had pupils, you guessed he probably would’ve rolled them. ‘In fact, let her go. What kind of person holds a guest down like that?’ You sighed when the squeeze on your body subsided, and you were able to stand. For a second, you thought about going camo again, but if they’d caught you the first time, what was stopping them from catching you again.
‘Don’t try.’ Porco interrupted your train of thought.
‘What?’
‘You’ve seen him now. He’ll find you.’
You stare at the symbiote for a moment, then move to the blonde's eyes. You felt sympathetic for them both. They were stuck in this shitty city. You were only a visitor. Or, a hostage depending on how you looked at it.
‘So what am I meant to do? Wait here for the rest of my life?’ You ask, tightening the grip on your fists.
‘Well that’s an option-‘
‘No, its not!’ Venom cut in. ‘She’s seen me. I get to eat her now. That was the deal.’
‘No. That’s with bad guys. She isn’t a bad guy.’
‘She’s a spider!’
As the 2 argued, Jean’s voice finally reached a signal.
‘2 minutes. I’m nearly in Liberio now.’
‘Please hurry.’ You whisper.
‘What?’
Looking back at the 2 in front of you, you find 4 narrowed eyes.
‘Oh come on. Look, you’ve scared her now. This is why you need better social skills.’
Opting to not come between the 2 bickering, you shot a web at the next closest building, dragging yourself back. You heard a faint ‘hey’ followed by the sound of walls being grasped, but you don’t look back to see what it is exactly. You had a pretty sure idea, and looking back would slow you down. For now, all you had to focus on was getting out of Liberio. And seeing your brother in the distance was your first sign of luck.
‘I’m perfectly fine, Hange.’ You informed, phone being held to your ear by your shoulder. ‘I wouldn’t even count it as an attack. The guys just wanted to talk.’
Hange Zoe is the Captain of the current Spider-People. It wouldn’t exactly be called an organisation, but they’d found that recent, there was more Spiders than ever. Why exactly, they didn’t know. But regardless, Hange wanted to make sure there was a place for them.
‘Even if you think you’re perfectly fine, you may not be. Come around so we can get someone to check. I don’t care who, as long as it isn’t you or Jean. Preferably, I’d like Armin to check.’
‘I’m not getting anybody to check.’ You argued, storming around your kitchen. ‘If I was dying right now, then I’d be… well… dying.’
You could hear Hange sigh on the other end of the call.
‘Spider’s aren’t invincible, my dear. You of all people should know that-‘
‘And I do! I just…’ Now it was your turn to sigh, dropping your mug and holding your phone properly. ‘I’m fine, Hange. I’ll get Armin to check over me tomorrow. I’m just tired is all.’
The line went silent, the only indication they hadn’t hung up being that the call was still active.
‘First thing tomorrow, get Armin to do a check over. Get some sleep. We’ll take tomorrow.’
They hung up and you stared at the screen for a moment.
All spiders had a canon event of some sort. You could barely call yours recent, and it happened to a lot of spiders at the same time, but a large-scale earthquake in your home town 8 years ago, and watching a 50 metre building come down on your parents did the trick. Did the trick for you and your brother.
You wipe your hands over your face and groan. It’d been a long day.
The pizza that’s been sitting in your fridge for almost a week was practically screaming at you the minute you opened the door. You chucked it on the counter and thought about heating it up for about a second, deciding cold pizza is superior.
‘So you have (eye/colour) eyes?’
You’re blending into the wall and shooting webs before you actually see who the person is.
‘How on earth did you-‘
‘We followed you.’ Venom admits, coming awfully close to your face. ‘We figured it’d be easier to eat you when you’re alone.’
‘He figured that.’ Porco adds. ‘But yes. We followed you.’
You’re clinging to a cupboard door, looking around for ways to get to your apartment door when your phone starts ringing.
‘Shit. Jean.’ You mentally curse.
‘Venom. Back up. Let her answer it.’
You stare at Porco, slowly revealing yourself, and he laughs at the way you’re gripping the cupboard. But he nods towards the phone, mouthing a “pick it up”.
With shaking hands, you take your phone and bring it to your ear.
‘Hey.’ You say.
‘Hey. Hange just texted saying you refused to do a check up. Are you all goods?’
‘Y-yeah. I’m fine. Just tired and a little shaken after today.’ As you’re speaking, you don’t take your eyes off the blonde standing in your apartment, seeing him smirk but obviously listen to your call.
‘Do you want me to come around?’ Porco’s grin melts away instantly, and he shakes his head. The decision was really up to you.
You could’ve said yes. You could’ve gotten your brother to come to your apartment, and both Porco & Venom may have left straight away, but something in you does the opposite.
‘No. But thank you. I’m probably going to have dinner then go to sleep. I’m going to see Armin tomorrow for a check up anyway.’
‘You sure? Ok then. Make sure to look after yourself, Y/n. Call me if you need anything.’
‘Yep. Tell Marco I say hi.’ You ended the call, and watched Porco’s look of surprise as you climbed down from the shelves. ‘You happy?’
Neither he nor Venom speak, and you think for a moment that you’re imagining them there. Until you shoot a web at him to make sure and it sticks to his face, sending him into a fit of trying to get it off.
‘Ok, you are actually here.’
‘Of course, I’m actually here.’ He whines, shaking the webs off him. If he hadn’t broken into your apartment. you might’ve laughed at him, but the circumstances were different. With a bit of your fear dispersing after his reaction, you go back to your pizza, taking a slice of it.
‘You want some?’ You ask, mouth half full. Venom frantically nods, and you smile a little bit. ‘Pizza fan?’
‘He’s a fan of anything with meat on it.’ Porco informs, getting the last of the web away. ‘Just throw it and he’ll grab it.’
You do as told and watch as Venom contorts to catch the food. Your smile stays, and you offer Galliard a piece, but he declines.
‘So why did you follow me?’ You ask casually.
Porco seems to freeze, trying to think of an excuse but Venom chimes in.
‘He thought you were hot. And he never gets any girls in Liberio.’
‘That’s only because there’s no one in Liberio!’
You’re slightly taken back by the confession, but you burst into a fit of laughs. ‘Hey. What’s so funny?’
‘You followed me this far just because of that?’
‘W-Well, like I said, we never get any girls in Liberio, so I think it’s justified.’
You nearly took yourself out laughing so hard. Tears were in your eyes as you fell onto your kitchen floor, clutching your stomach for life. Porco just glared down at you, a dark red tint on his face.
‘I could kill you right now and you’re laughing at me!’
‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It’s just too funny.’ You apologise, attempting to stand but falling into another fit of laughter.
Venom grinned at Porco, and Porco just flipped him off.
When you calmed down, you breathed deeply, too exhausted to stand up.
‘Jokes aside, that is really sweet, I guess.’ You pat the spot next to you, and Porco hesitates but takes it. ‘If you hadn’t tried to kill me, that is.’
‘I wouldn’t call it trying to kill you.’ He reasons. ‘More like-‘
‘A shit attempt at flirting.’
‘Will you fuck off?!’
Venom melts into the blond’s back, and it disgusts you at first, but then realise that it could be worse.
A blanket of silence covers the kitchen, you both just staring into space when there’s a knock at your door.
‘Shit.’ You curse, jumping to your feet to answer. ‘Armin?’
‘Y-Yeah. Jean told me you needed a check-in after that thing attacked you.’
‘Yeah, but I was gonna do it tomorrow…’ You only realise then that that thing was sitting in your kitchen. ‘If that’s alright.’
‘It’s probably better to do now, if you don’t mind. I promise it’ll be quick. I just need to do a blood test, then check for any visible wounds or bruises.’
‘Uh. Yep.’ The ‘p’ is stretched out as you open the door, allowing your friend to come in. The minute he’s in, you basically sprint around to check your kitchen. It’s empty.
‘Everything ok, Y/n? You seem on edge.’ Armin asks, sitting up a blood bag.
‘Yeah. Yep. Just fine.’ You answer, rubbing your face again. ‘Do you want some pizza?’
‘As you all know, the festival goes from the main street to the subway. Your job today is to stay on the lookout for anything dodgy, or anything that could harm the mayor and her wife.’ Levi told, looking over the spiders standing in front of him. ‘You are not to engage unless you are certain they are in danger. If you are certain, then you are to report immediately, and keep casualties to a minimum. Understood?’
‘Yes, sir.’
The festival was to celebrate 10 years since the earthquake, and to commemorate those that didn’t make it. The mayor, Historia Reiss, and her wife, Ymir Reiss would give a speech, showing respect for each victim, before travelling around the city to orphanages were children whose parents died were welcomed. Unknown to the public, Ymir Reiss was in fact a Spider, which meant that on days such as the festival, it wasn’t hard for the couple to get that extra bit of protection..
‘How are we meant to know if something is the right level of dodgy?’ Connie asked over the comms-device. ‘I mean, some of us might think that people surrounding the place in pairs is dodgy. We probably look like a damn cult.’
‘Just anything out of the ordinary, I guess.’ Jean replied. ‘Although, a bald guy and a chick stuffing her face is pretty peculiar.’
You all heard Connie send a string of curses are your brother, but you just laughed under your breath.
The event was generally pretty safe. Everyone lost someone, some more than others, so everyone was more of less on the same page about the festival.
‘How did you 2 get stuck together?’ Eren asked, looking at the duo through the crowd. ‘And how come I got stuck with Horseface? Why am I even a pair?’
‘Just focus on the mission, please.’ With Levi’s command, the comms fell quiet.
The day was nearly over, and so far nothing bad had happened. The odd protester here and there, but police were able to deal with them without you needing to step in.
‘All good on my end.’ You checked in. Everyone else replied in the same state. ‘Pretty good year if you ask me.’
‘Nah. Some drunk asked how one of Santa’s elves escaped’ Connie screamed. ‘And then he had the audacity to start singing carols to try lure me in.’
‘Suck it up, Connie.’ You could practically hear Connie fighting the urge to reply, but fighting the Captain seemed to weigh out that option.
‘Hey guys. I got something down the end of the main street.’ Armin reported. ‘I think it’s dormant for now, but I might need someone down there soon.’
‘I’ve got it.’ You replied, slowly pushing your way through the crowd. ‘Can you tell me what it is exactly?’
‘It’s like a black goo.’
You stopped in your tracks, frowning.
‘Come again?’
‘A black goo?’
‘I’ve got a visual.’ Eren added. ‘Definitely ain’t dormant.’
‘Do you need back up?’
‘I might in a minute.’ Without further discussion, Eren decided this was dodgy enough to engage, throwing his mask on and swinging into action.
The minute he moved, the symbiote threw himself off the building, shattering the windows as he propelled towards the spider. Eren grunted when he came into contact, goo covering his arms and immobilising him.
‘Shit.’ He cursed, doing his best to try escape.
‘Surely I can eat this one.’ Venom hissed, inching his face closer towards Eren. ‘There’s plenty of spiders around.’
‘Fuck off.’ The brunette cursed. He tried to shoot a web, only for it to be absorbed into Venom’s body.
‘Come on. I can get it over and done with quickly.’ Venom’s mouth was surrounding his head when it suddenly began choking, grabbing at its neck. Eren took the opportunity, spitting acid into the goo. This time, it melted away and he was able to pull a hand free. Free enough that he was able to latch onto another building and pull himself out of the symbiote.
‘Thanks, Y/n.’ You stayed clinging to Venom, arms wrapped around where she knew Galliard was inside of him.
‘H-Hey. Time out.’ The blonde shouted, voice muffled. You loosened your grip, still holding them both.
‘Get the fuck out of here before we kill you.’ You whispered. Venom grunted, but you suspected it may have been Porco instead. As you went to pull your arms away, the organism wrapped around your arms, pulling you into it.
‘I’m gonna need backup.’ You said over your air piece before Venom ripped it out of your ear.
‘You can eat this one, Venom.’ Porco smirked. You winced, feeling the symbiote’s teeth curl around your arm. Just as you thought it was about to bite your arms off, a blinding light cut through his body, eliciting a deafen screech from Venom.
‘You brat.’ Levi degraded as he swung past, cutting through Venom again. You felt as it pulled you away, keeping a hold until it dropped into an empty street.
Venom unravelled, leaving Galliard standing there.
‘Long time, no see-‘
‘Get out of here.’ You hiss, urging him away. ‘If Levi catches you, you’re dead.’
Whether he believed you or not, he sprinted off, disappearing as the other spiders came down the street.
‘Where did it go?’ Jean asked, obviously ready to kill the thing that attack his sister.
‘I’m not sure, sorry.’ You say, hands on hips and out of breath. ‘It dropped me and disappeared. I didn’t see where.’
‘I’ll go find-‘
‘Leave it for now.’ Hange decided. ‘It seemed to have no intention of harming anyone other than us. And we have no idea what it is, so until then, we keep on looking out for it. Return to post until Historia and Ymir are done, then return to base.’
‘Yes, Captain.’
Your apartment was quiet when you got home. Lights were off apart from the one in the kitchen.
‘Please say you chucked the pizza- what are you doing?’ You said, acknowledging the blonde sitting on your kitchen floor.
‘I’m having withdrawals.’ He whined. taking another swig of his can. You just laughed.
‘Too fucking close today.’
‘It wasn’t even. You were perfectly fine, and it wasn’t like he was actually going to bite your arm off.’
‘I thought about it.’ Venom said.
‘Yeah well. Get the fuck out of my body.’ You replied, walking over to the other imposter. Porco took your hand and (with great discomfort), Venom transferred back to his normal host's body.
‘That’s better.’ Porco sang, suddenly brought to life. You shook your head with a smile, opening the oven to see he had in fact chucked the pizza in to heat it up.
‘Are you staying the night?’
‘Well, it’s probably easier than trying to get back to Liberio right now.’ Porco stood up, wrapping his arms around your waist gently and resting his head on your shoulders. ‘The lights finally gave out.’
‘They’ve shut it down?’
‘Mhm.’
‘So where are you going to stay now?’ You place your hands over his, stroking the back of his palm. The man sighed, breathing hot air against your neck.
‘No clue. I’m sure there’ll be somewhere in Liberio that still has power.’
There was a moment of silence between you two, and you leaned back against his shoulder. No one lived in Liberio but them. You knew because you’d been lying to Hange about it in order to keep that small amount of power going there. But they must’ve done a scan themselves and seen no one.
‘You could move in with me?’ The suggestion seemed like some wild thing. Something that hadn’t even crossed Porco’s mind. ‘Then you wouldn’t have to put in as much effort to get stuff, or to come see me.’
The arms around your waist tightened, and you felt a smile press to your lips.
‘We wouldn’t annoy you?’
‘Porco. We’ve been together for 2 years. If you annoyed me enough, you would’ve already.’ You spun in his arms to face him, hands finding his jaw. ‘And Venom can sleep in a dog box.’
‘I am not sleeping in a box!’ The symbiote shouted, enraged by the idea. ‘Let me actually bite her arm off!’
You laughed, pressing a chaste kiss to your partner's lips before reaching for the pizza.
‘Venom. You want some?’
#kody☆#kodydrs#attack on titan#attack on titan x female reader#i’m bad at tagging#attack on titan x you#attack on titan x reader#attack on titan smut#attack on titan spoilers#attack on titan x spider-man#aot porco#aot x reader#aot#aot smut#aot fanfiction#aot spoilers#aot x spiderman#spiderman#spiderman au#porco snk#snk#snk x reader#snk smut#porco x reader#porco galliard
18 notes
·
View notes
Note
Your IBS/SoTO post is really good and I would love to hear your opinions about asura writing that got cut for time
OH, UH, OKAY. SURE. Disclaimer that a lot of the thoughts here I picked up from my friend @ratasum. (I honestly didn't expect that IBS/SotO post to get read by anyone so waking up & seeing it appears to have gotten onto the main 'circulating' version of the post and having people agree with me is a little wild, haha.)
As always, cut for length, I've never said in five words what I could say in twenty and trust me I've tried.
"Surely it can't be that long--"
I know. I'm a parody of myself. I'm sorry. Just like you cannot blame the scorpion for what is in its nature you cannot blame me for writing five and a half thousand words on funny goblin rat video game narrative.
ANYWAY. [CRACKING KNUCKLES] THE ASURA
OKAY. THIS IS GOING TO BE A MULTI-POINT -- I'm not going to call it an essay. It's not an essay. That implies a level of organization going in that there isn't, I'm slapping points in as I recall them (I am going to cite my sources, though). But there's a lot of miscellaneous things I'm going into here. Also this is shorter than it could be because I wrote a big chunk of it right after getting home from work, got distracted by making Limbus Company OC IDs for hours, and by the point I rotated back I was getting worried something would happen and I'd lose this post.
You may be able to tell which points I wrote later because I get progressively less informative and more AGGRESSIVELY WAVING MY HANDS.
EDIT THE NEXT MORNING: Added more stuff into Point B that I didn't realize I skipped over, my kingdom for a table of contents
Point A: "The current writers don't like the asura."
When was the last time you heard any character talk about asura tech or society in a way that wasn't derogatory? Just in SotO alone, from my memory and some very shallow wiki checks, we have:
Uenno: But we're... stubborn, our kind. Bureaucratic. It's all so stifling.
Uenno: Zojja and I had the same realization. Expecting satisfaction from that city is like expecting a skritt to win the Snaff Prize.
...and, from Zojja's Journal:
Before I left Rata Sum, they considered me a battery without any juice. Well, I feel the same about them.
...
The technological advancement of this place is far beyond Rata Sum. Seeing this would give the Arcane Council a run for their money... I bet they lost it after Cantha opened its borders. What I'd do to be a fly on that wall...
...
If the council learned about any of this, ESPECIALLY the wizards' ability to create fractals, they'd try to quarantine the entire region. Rip it apart, piece by piece.
...and, from Zojja's journal from Tower of Secrets:
The council is too scared to put me back on fieldwork, and the colleges seem less than interested in having me teach. No talks. Nothing. Past my prime, apparently. Send me straight to the retirement facility.
...
She used to be a professor in the colleges, but she left after years and years of frustration with the system. Students set up for failure, refusal to grow or expand (sound familiar...?).
Now take a quick jaunt to the wiki's summary of asura culture:
The asura value intelligence and intellectual superiority over all other attributes. Individual asura will dedicate an entire lifespan to building a portfolio of successful projects or becoming the foremost expert of some tiny aspect of the arcane. They constantly seek to prove their own intellectual superiority, and by extension the superiority of the asura race.
The writers are really trying to tell me that Zojja was damaged goods post-Heart of Thorns, but, like. She was one of the foremost geniuses in Asuran society and one of the two surviving students of the genius Snaff (or one, if you count us killing Kudu in Crucible of Eternity). She is the absolute foremost expert on Elder Dragons (Taimi wasn't this until LWS4ish, imo), was directly involved with the Pact offensive on the Heart of Maguuma, and has a "connection" (I'm not going to say friendship but yknow.) with the Sylvari who stole Glint's egg. And you want to tell me nobody would want to hear from her because she was disabled? They'd be breaking down her door to get her to teach.
I feel like a lot of this perception comes from Phlunt's overbearing smothering of Taimi getting spotlit during LWS3, but Phlunt is an obstructive, small-minded bureaucrat, even by Arcane Council standards; he doesn't want to be there, he sure as hell doesn't want to be busy chaperoning a twelve-year-old with polio in his "free time", and if he dissuades her from doing anything then he can kick back and relax. His chaperoning is not a microcosm of All Asuran Society's Relationship To Solo Geniuses Who Are On The Younger Side (afaik he was also supposed to be Inquest anyway, so that probably bleeds into some of it). Take a quick walk around Metrica Province or listen to ambient dialogue in Rata Sum! Even taking into account comments about bureaucrats in ambient lore in Rata Novus, which makes it a cultural thing, I honestly still don't really see what that would have to do with 'Zojja would be a pariah'. The fuck she would. I would excuse the Zojja diaries if it was Zojja is completely shutting herself away from Rata Sum society and convincing herself they don't want her, but it's... it's not! It's 'Rata Sum threw Zojja out with the bathwater'! In what world!!!!
EoD (I go into this a couple of points down the post) is also just like a conga line of asura going WOW CANTHA IS SO ADVANCED WE'RE SO BACKWARDS and it just feels baaaaaaad.
Point B: "Since LWS4, it seems like nobody on the writing team has really actually understood the asura, and they're either written as 'basically children' or 'crazy comedy gremlins'."
When was the last time we got an asura NPC who was, you know, actually involved in asura society or had asuran attitudes? Professor Smoll from April Fools doesn't count, don't give me that. Uenno in SotO only really talks about asura society to comment about how backwards it is/was compared to the Astral Ward's tech/setup, and although the Inquest are a genuine threat... since LWS4, when was the last time the game actually remembered that? They're cartoon goons.
(The Arcane Council is actually really interesting, too! Their job is to deal with all the mundane shit and bureaucratic matters and City Things, and nobody wants to do it, to the point it's common to trick others into accidentally taking the job or replacing you so you can quit. They sometimes try to kill each other. The Inquest is considered a bunch of criminal assholes by the average asura, but they're pretty distinctly a tool of the Arcane Council who uses them to work on projects that might be 'unsavory'.)
I'm not saying the asura aren't funny. They are. Even at GW2's launch, they were smack-talking little gremlins -- but they weren't comic relief. And I'm not saying everything Angel McCoy ever said was right (I am refusing to read the interview where she says cells don't exist on Tyria and everything is made of magic <3) but they're snarky little shits. Back in GW1 they were partially Invader Zim references. Asura are researchers and, I'm gonna say it, sapiosexuals first and foremost -- they're monogamists in the sense that romantic relationships are often between two asura fixated on the same idea.
ANYWAY. Asura are weird freaks and they're kind of memey little bastards about it but they're also insanely intense SCIENCE bastards, who prize being an asshole. During LWS4 the Inquest had live samples of the fucking scarab plague, were experimenting on the Olmakhan with it -- they're a genuine danger. The Inquest can be both funny Team Rocket villains and genuine threats due to their lack of morals!! They can be both!!
But what they're reduced to these days is... they're either childlike and need care (Dagda calling Zojja little one would be fine on its own, but combined with everything else...) or they're just Haha Funny Quip Guys. They're not dicks anymore. When was the last time an asura was an asshole to you in a way that wasn't immediately condemned by the story/narrative as them being an unreasonable small-minded jerk? I don't even necessarily think Arenanet has ever had a real consensus on how to write them, but there's enough content from basegame to LWS4 where you can absolutely write them with just as much... genuineness? not seriousness, but, yknow? as the sylvari or the norn. Like -- imagine if every sylvari we met was either a wide-eyed innocent or a Nightmare Court irredeemable asshole who was torturing babies and cackling about it. If every norn we met was a one-note jovial party drunk or a Son of Svanir who just went JORMAG JORMAG JORMAG.
That's what it feels like has happened to the asura.
Everything in this section from here on until Point C starts is a lot of really misc. disjointed thoughts but I couldn't make them work anywhere else and they seemed relevant still, so. Sorry. You get what you pay for.
...circa End of Dragons --
Taimi: Yes! Xunlai has an entire MedTech division. They make braces for conditions like mine.
Taimi: They're incredible. I feel almost no pain when I'm wearing them.
I can buy that asura don't really have a lot of development into assistive devices as a whole because they're generally all pretty self-focused, but there's gotta be a krewe somewhere that's got physically disabled asura, right?
In Icebrood Saga, Phlunt and Taimi's focus during Champions on fighting Primordus -- even if they have to ally with Jormag to do it -- is kind of portrayed as... petulant? Ignorant? But, like, it is very reasonable to say that asura are culturally traumatized, I'd say. Their entire culture and people, over the course of fifty years, were pushed into involuntary migration from their home and into a completely new environment. If the Kodan are traumatized by doing the exact same thing but due to Jormag and that's taken fairly seriously, especially in Bjora Marches. The writing is bad here! Champions struggles a lot on a lot of fronts, and I know it's because that was because a huge chunk of the devs abruptly got dragged off to go make EoD, but they could've at least left someone senior to handle narrative and I don't think they did.
(That honestly ties into a bigger frustration, which is that for a season/expansion where we take care of the Asura-associated dragon and the Norn-associated dragon once and for all, it sure is about Charr. I don't think this is what they meant to do going in! I think the writers meant to have you deal with Jormag in the next season/expansion, and have them be an everpresent force puppeting people around who you never actually fought in Icebrood Saga. Fuck, I don't think you were even supposed to encounter Primordus here, it's not called the Fire and Ice Saga. But the mandate? orders? came down, and suddenly they had to figure out how to get rid of both twin dragons by the end of the season, and they didn't have enough space left to change direction from the charr (who did actually get some great narrative here, I think that was at least preserved).
Point C: "Existing content from LWS4 and earlier establishes that asura tech is extremely advanced."
Anyway I think EoD was generally pretty cool, but I also think they got very worried about potentially making Cantha come off as 'less advanced' than the asura and unintentionally seeming racist in that way, and they swung real fucking hard in the opposite direction. (If anything they probably would be further advanced than Cantha, though -- they were using dragon-magic to power their waypoints & cities back during GW1, and swapped to independent? ambient? magic when the Great Destroyer awakened & pushed a lot of them to the surface. I personally would've gone for the idea that it's deeply impressive that humans, alone, have created something on par with but not better than asuran tech, especially when using a powersource that the asura historically never got as far as the Canthans with.) Asuratech created fractals and a device that could completely destabilize fractals in order to fish up real entities stuck in them (I expand on this further down on my last point).
Moto built an entire fucking immersive videogame with a hammerspace teleporter.
Rata Primus in Sandswept Isles in LWS4 has a satellite dish, implying they've gotten asuratech into orbit.
Asura have had holograms and solid light for ages -- they were developing immersive VR all the way back in Rata Novus. Oola has a hologram. There's multiple hero points where you fight hardlight projections. What Do You Think The SAB Weapon Skins Are.
They're experimenting with radiation.
They have elevators.
They have televisions.
They have sous vide!
They've got holo-clipboards!!
Okay yeah sure it's one random throwaway line from a miscellaneous Rata Sum NPC but THEY HAVE NEWSCASTS, this guy's probably been here since the game RELEASED
HOLOGRAMS
Blish uploaded himself into a golem and he's just Like that now!!!
What the Canthans and especially Joon are doing with jadetech is incredible! But asura tech is not inferior to it. You could say 'dragonjade carries incredible magical power because Soo-Won is awake and actively filtering her power to create it, as opposed to the GW1 asura skimming some off the top of Primordus' and I'd go yeah, okay, that sounds completely fair. Joon having tech that can evaluate the drained Aurene? This makes sense! She's been directly interfacing with Soo-Won's magic for years and probably has a better understanding of the biology and process of Elder Dragons + how their magic works within their body than anyone else alive, including Aurene! If anything, her dragonjade could well be tapping directly into Soo-Won's domains of Water and Life, making dragonjade tech especially good for healing or creating assistive devices. You could potentially insinuate this, but I really don't think the game actually ever says this, so I don't know if I want to give it credit for that. (In fact, the game specifically says that the magic in dragonjade is stripped of all signatures, it's pure dragon magic, so really it says the exact opposite of 'Soo-Won's connection to her domains is so powerful that she infuses the jade she empowers with their essence').
Ankka's stolen Extractor even has a note on its wiki page that it acts similarly to existing asuratech from basegame personal story -- just scaled far, far up. It's not new tech! They've had this, just weaker!
ALSO SNARGLE'S AGENT SAYS ASURA DON'T HAVE, LIKE. VIDEO GAMES? MOVIES? MOVING PICTURES OF ANY KIND? YOUUUUUU HAVE HAD HOLOGRAMS FOR HUNDREDS OF YEAAAAARRRRS. HE'S LITERALLY PUBLISHING SUPER ADVENTURE BOX THE NOVEL. WHAT DO YOU THINK SUPER ADVENTURE BOX IS, LITTLE MAN
Kippo: You bet. But that's not all! D'you know Cantha's living in the future while the rest of us mopes are still eating dirt?
Kippo: That's coming from an asura. They watch theater projected from their jade technology. Moving pictures!
Kippo: I want K&M at the forefront of new media. Cause pretty soon, ain't nobody gonna be readin' books.
Kippo: Maybe one day, the audience could even control these move-ies. An interactive experience. Feel like you're really there!
I hate this guy
Point D: "Gorrik and Taimi have both basically undergone character assassination over the years and had all their edges smoothed off, and SotO Zojja is Zojja in name (and voice actor) only."
LWS1 Taimi was such a fucking brat. Precocious, sure! But she was an asshole of a child who was constantly chafing against any adult in the vicinity and idolized Scarlet Briar. She was a deeply lonely girl who only had Zojja and she was kind of shitty! She was awful to Braham! And, like, I will repeat this again, she idolized Scarlet, the insane mass-murdering terrorist who poisoned and destroyed the entirety of Lion's Arch.
She was a kid. She was a brilliant, lonely kid, and she sucked as a person. After HoT, Zojja is basically comatose, and Taimi decides she has to step up as the Commander's asura tech expert, to prove that she's not just a child who has to be corralled, she's just as much a part of this as you are. And the way she tried to prove herself was by taking on as much responsibility as people would let her, and even some they wouldn't, and she kept being brilliant and she had to keep improving and improving and why didn't Rata Sum see she wasn't a child, and you never realized that maybe she was taking on too much because you didn't have anyone else who could do this research, and she was keeping all her vulnerability to herself -- because if she told you you'd tell her to stop and rest. Everyone would. And she needed to keep proving herself and being the best, the smartest, indispensable to Dragon's Watch,
and eventually it got her caught by Joko. He doesn't torture her, exactly. He traps her in her own assistive device, with limited air and no control, and then he sets Scruffy on you, and this teenage girl has to watch her only safe haven try to kill the only person who can save her as she slowly suffocates to death.
And she's fucking traumatized. And she's trying to put on a brave face but it really, really fucks her up. No time to cry. She has to be helpful, and useful, and if you make her go lie down and rest she's going to fucking scream. The key of Taimi, to me, is that in a lot of ways Zojja probably saw herself in her? An incredibly brilliant and desperately lonely child with nobody to advocate for her, turning all that frustration at her life and herself right back out at the world. If she never shows weakness and if she can be just as rough and tumble as the adults, they'll see she's not a baby. She's not a poor sick victim who needs to be protected.
She's Zojja's protege and Zojja was Snaff's protege and, like -- Zojja is not that old. She's maybe ten, fifteen years older than Taimi? No more than fifteen, I'd say. She's barely an adult when Snaff dies, and she has to be everything Snaff was and more. Zojja remembers what Snaff was for her, and she sees this impossibly smart progeny girl, and she thinks to herself Snaff was my lifeline out of that. and she's that for her.
And then she kind of sucks at it because she's Zojja and she's really not very good at communication that isn't her being a bitch, but, like, she was trying, probably. And Taimi was-is just as attached to her as Zojja was to Snaff.
But Taimi, unlike Zojja at that age, isn't alone. She has Zojja. She has everyone in Dragon's Watch. She has people who take her seriously and believe in her, and her greatest enemy is herself. The older she gets the more she levels out -- partially from the trauma but partially because she's just... growing up! She's still kind of a jerk, she's an asura and she knows she's the smartest person in the room most of the time, but especially when compared to Gorrik (who is admittedly amoral even for an asura), she's got a conscience. She's a firebrand of a girl who pushes herself too hard and she ribs you when you take yourself too seriously, because you've seen her at her most vulnerable, and she knows how hard you take it when you fuck up.
And she's your friend. She's a bitch but like the rest of Dragon's Watch she's your friend.
And by the point of EoD, all that assholery she was capable of has been shifted over to Ankka (who exists to die, unfortunately), and she has now been fully transformed into The Commander's Tech Support Who Says Funny Things And Listens In On Your Conversations. There's no bite to her. There is nothing uniquely Taimi about her anymore.
I wasn't a big fan of her losing Scruffy 2.0 either -- it feels like they were trying to go she's all grown up now, she doesn't need her security blanket anymore! but, like. She has an incurable degenerative disease. That was her assistive device who just also had a personality? Give her a hoverchair or a cane or something. They eventually gave her leg braces in EoD, which I think is fine and honestly works really well (& I wish we'd gotten to see her talking more with Joon and Yao about tech than we did), but. Mmm. It felt weird, you know?
-- ANYWAY BEFORE I MOVE ONTO GORRIK. I do want to touch base with Champions, because Champions was really where they started flanderizing her the most notably. It is completely reasonable that she suggests siding with Jormag, honestly, reasonable in a way the game doesn't treat it as and neither does the Commander, because she's kind of selfish! Jormag? Who cares? She hasn't been really dealing with the rest of the Icebrood Saga so far the way you and Braham have, she just sees 'Jormag's willing to work with us to kill Primordus and hasn't caused mass horrific destruction, they're a completely sentient person'. She sees a solution to a problem and she wants it now, you can talk about Jormag later, her entire race had to diaspora because of this thing and she was there the last time it almost woke up and things got really, really bad after that, what with Balthazar. Jormag is a problem, yeah! But they're not a problem that's hurt her. They're a problem she can look at and understand and speak to. Primordus? Primordus is a monster. It's a natural disaster. You can't convince Primordus to hold off on killing people, it's just what he does. But she can make a deal with Jormag to stay away from these people, maybe, and Taimi even now thinks she's the fucking shit and she's smarter than she is, and she thinks she can outwit Jormag.
Champions could've been a really interesting look at Braham and Taimi basically trying to kill each other because they both have incredible cultural trauma layered on top of personal experiences that means they can't even consider not killing that specific dragon so super dead as a first course of action, and neither of them would be wrong about feeling that way, because if you haven't forgotten -- Taimi is barely an adult at this point, if she is at all, and Braham was a teenager during LWS1 and HoT. He's barely an adult either in the grand scheme of things! A scenario where both dragons are represented by one of your friends would've been really, really cool, and the challenge is 'how do we fix this without the dragons going out of balance'. And It Was Not That At All In Any Way.
I actually had this idea as I was writing this post but, like. Man. I understand the point of Ryland, Champion of Jormag, but I would've loved to see Jormag really gaslighting the hell out of Taimi and convincing her she's just as special as he is. She deserves special power and she understands Jormag, she's so clever -- just that slow horrible corruption through persuasion, through appealing to her pride. That's the asura cultural flaw! They know they're smarter than everyone else! Play to that.
This is partially because IN THE MEANTIME, FIRE ALARM makes me want to punch a table. I hate that voiceline. I hear it so much. Dragonstorm, why.
ANYWAY --
LWS4 Gorrik was barely ex-Inquest. Bioterrorist weirdo. The most autistic man in the world (love him for this). His argument against 'YOU WERE EXPERIMENTING ON THE OLMAKHAN WITH THE SCARAB PLAGUE?' is just 'I didn't vote for it but the results are FASCINATING also btw it's actually a pestilence, not a plague--'. His morals are entirely about what will let him do the most Bug Science. Sure, the Scarab Plague is one of the most horrifying contagions in history, but he is a scarab expert and he could infodump on this shit for HOURS. Do you remember that time he got arrested for bioterrorism after exposing himself to said plague, and his main concerns are 'people calling it a plague, not a pestilence' when they want his fucking head? Even when you get him out he just goes 'am I supposed to anticipate the neuroses of everyone around me?? Them freaking out was totally unreasonable'. Yeah, man, the fucking Elonians losing it about the potential of the Scarab Plague coming back is an unreasonable hysterical reaction. He doesn't care about people! He only cares about bugs! (This is an exaggeration but you get what I mean.)
The Commander: Joko intercepted the ship. Exposed all the crew and passengers to the Scarab Plague.
Gorrik: Oh my, my, my—a full-spectrum outbreak! This is incredible!
Taimi: Gorrik...
Gorrik: Oh, right. Sorry. Tragedy. Terrible.
He's a freak! He's a freak of a man! I love him! COMMANDER HOLY FUCK DID YOU SAY CHAK from Jahai Bluffs lives in my heart. Weirdo guy. Incubated the roller beetle in his own body under his skin just because he thought it'd be cool. He never really grows a conscience even after Blish's death, because that's not who he is, that's not how he perceives and interacts with the world. He has a completely different perspective from you, and his priorities and predilections make him an impossibly brilliant scientist... who should probably not be allowed to talk to anyone he doesn't already know ever again.
Now circa EoD he's... what? What is he? Haha he's funny detective guy who can't read social cues and is dragging Rama into things. Oh, I guess he's an asura, so sometimes he says tech things. They have removed this man's deep freak nature from him :( The man I knew would've been out there doing fieldwork and dissecting void creatures yesterday. He would've been fascinated by the Dragonvoid glitching reality! Sorry, no, he doesn't do that anymore, he's just Funny Detective Guy, sometimes he does science things with jade tech because Rama is around and that means Gorrik is also there because he's Those Two Guys with Rama now. Sure. I like their dynamic but man did things happen to Gorrik to get there. I wish it could've been Very Normal Man Rama and a little goblin man who has decided Rama is his bestie.
(Also I'm deeply weirded out by the narrative pushing TAIMI IS AN ADULT NOW SO SHE'S GOING TO DATE GORRIK BECAUSE ADULTS GET IN RELATIONSHIPS unironically. I really do think the writers have forgotten there's like... a 15 year age gap between them and just remembered 'Gorrik's brother was Taimi's classmate, and he was close? in age to his brother, probably?, so it's fine' he's like 30, man. And if Taimi/Gorrik didn't feel so slapped together and like a way to pair them up so they're busy with each other and no longer narratively relevant outside of Tech Support, maybe I would be less bitchy! But I really don't like them symbolizing 'Taimi's not a little girl anymore, she's all grown up now!' by having her immediately display romantic interest in a guy who, like. You cannot tell me Gorrik fucks. I love him but I don't think he has ever contemplated fucking as a thing he would do.
They're research partners! They're good friends! But they are absolutely not in a romantic or sexual relationship. I don't believe it.)
Zojja... god, they did that woman dirty in SotO. They did her so dirty. I talked in my original post about how her narrative role here is actively sabotaged by it being Zojja and Caithe (or even Logan!) would've done it better, and I'm sticking to that. Anyway, the Tower of Secrets story summary includes:
I've never seen her out of her element or so unsure of herself; I'm used to the hypercompetent and defiantly confident golemancer of legend. This is an entirely new side.
Even taking into account the idea SotO wants us to accept that she's gone through character development offscreen and a full arc, Zojja would never. Zojja gets fucking mean when she's stressed or unsure, and even if it's been years and she's grown past that... she's still not going to wibble about it. This is part of the big problem with her writing, even in the base content for SotO: Zojja is very, very passive. She's nice, even! She mediates between you! She's your good friend Zojja (even though she was maybe friends with an asuran Commander, and she sure as hell was not making friendship bracelets with any other Commanders and wouldn't go YOU'LL FIX EVERYTHING :D after not having seen you for ten years).
...But asura in general, and especially Zojja, have a chip on their shoulder and they will prove themselves. There are ways they could've shown Zojja growing past that asuran cultural selfishness by really listening to and cooperating with other people -- the way they did it isn't that. I'm gonna call back to that Angel McCoy interview I linked earlier:
Sit back and watch the sass fly! A side effect of asuran intelligence and self-confidence is that they’re masters of the zinger. They don’t suffer fools lightly and don’t believe in sparing feelings. Workers expect to get snide comments from their krewe bosses, and progeny expect it from their parents. Teen asura, of course, give it back as good as they get it—it’s part of growing up.
This verbal abuse may seem mean-spirited, but the asura don’t see it that way. They don’t take it personally. Their competitive natures drive them to greater heights of achievement. Remember, asura have survived against terrible odds, including their tiny statures. They’ve earned their attitudes, and a certain amount of bravado keeps them from being victims. With their jibes, they’re telling it like they see it, and if you can’t take the heat, get out of the laboratory.
Yes, this is asura overall, their cultural standards, but everyone in Destiny's Edge is/was -- to some degree -- a prototypical example of their race. And beloved Zojja was a prickly son of a bitch if you weren't the asura commander. She would never wibble. I really, really do think they gave her amnesia via wizardification so they can justify both 1. her never referencing your past adventures and 2. doing a bit of moeblobification. It's not gap moe if she doesn't have moments of being a bitch, Arenanet, it's just sparkling woobification.
They can have her talk about 'I used to be so mad at everyone' but there's a point where it's not 'reasonable offscreen character development', it's 'the writers telling us ACTUALLY it's lore-justified why she's written this way now, and she's telling you it, so she's a reliable narrator'. Zojja would be a completely unreliable narrator!! She's a bitch!! Like I said in the Taimi section, there are ways to write a character growing past being a total horrific bitch in ways that make sense! This isn't it.
This dialogue actually really frustrates me more than anything because it wants you to just... accept that nobody went looking for her, and that she didn't ever reach out because she didn't feel worthy of us. Nobody went looking? Not us, not anyone in Destiny's Edge, not anyone noteworthy in Rata Sum who would've cared about Snaff's brilliant progeny-cum-legacy and perhaps the best Dragon specialist in the world going completely off the grid and disappearing? And not even Taimi, an orphan whose mentor figure Zojja was so horrifically harmed in Maguuma that she was basically comatose. That Taimi? That Taimi would've only checked in on Zojja when she was in hospital, would've let Zojja turn her away when she wasn't ready for visitors, and wouldn't have looked for her or told anyone she was missing, not even the Commander? (okay she told us once but it was kind of a casual throwaway line. i don't count it.) Not only is it shoddy writing, it makes the Commander, Taimi, and all of Zojja's guildmates look like horrible people. We didn't check on you because the writers wrote you out of the narrative, girl.
Also Zojja doesn't say a single fucking thing about Snaff relating to Mabon at any point. A mentor who saw her for her and took her in and gave her a home? A father figure? This part does drive me insane actually because given SotO's writing I don't think they even thought about it. I don't think they meant to imply that she's basically having flashbacks to Snaff's death and that's why she flips out so badly at Mabon getting possessed and dying. I really don't think they did.
"But c'mon! Make a life-changing decision just after Mabon died? If it came from anyone but Dagda, it'd be emotional warfare." IT LITERALLY IS. IT'S LITERALLY EMOTIONAL WARFARE. THE GAME IS SO CLOSE TO POINTING OUT HOW CREEPY IT IS FOR DAGDA TO DO THIS, because with the base content drop for SotO they were at least partially interested in exploring the idea that the Astral Ward had a benevolent front but was ultimately culty and doing some horrible shit in the name of the ends justifying the means.
AND NOW SHE HAS AMNESIA AND WE SAW HER, LIKE, ONCE BEFORE WE WENT TO NAYOS. LITERALLY WHAT WAS THE POINT OF HAVING HER IN THE STORY AT ALL. THIS COULD'VE BEEN A FRIENDLY LAMP. Coulda been DUCHESS CHRYSANTHEA or someshit. Faren!! I don't know!! It's 2:30 in the morning I'm very tired, this post isn't getting any proofreading it is going out as is.
Point E: "This is actually just about Fractals, sorry."
I know they were thinking about continuing the Arkk storyline at one point, apparently that was the original draft for Sunqua Peak. Dessa's implied to have some deep connection to Uncategorized, which is explicitly not Rata Sum. When some prerelease images mentioned 'fractal' in the URL for SotO and it was apparently going to be about the Mists I was like 'oh, shit, are we getting closure on Arkk'? He's out there!! In the Mists!! Where is our fucking boy!!! (He's nowhere, the current writers' room don't know he exists. :') )
The major interactions with the Mists are generally Asura-developed -- Dessa and her krewe developed fractals as we know them, 'capturing' these Mists-echoes and preventing them from dissolving (and she also 'studied' at Rata Sum (though it 'didn't work out'), implying to me she grew up somewhere else and moved to Rata Sum for college before dropping out). And then Arkk managed to somehow break into the Mists physically, disrupt your transportation back from one, mash several Fractals together, let Mist Beings into the Observatory,
It's implied (to me, anyway) that there is or was a real Dessa who created the Fractal Observatory and then... got out. She had a kid before making the Observatory -- Arkk mentions she looks very young during Shattered Observatory, she recognizes him, and she has some unspecified connection to the Raving Asura -- who has an unsent letter to her which makes her deeply sad to read, and, also, yknow. The kittycat golems. He could be Arkk's dad, is what I'm saying.). And never knew her fractal echo was trapped inside the Mists, repeating forever and forever and forever. And then she died, or she disappeared (maybe something happened when fractals-Dessa tried to leave during LWS1 and reset?), and Arkk found out that she was still in the Fractals, and he managed to destabilize the fucking Fractals in his attempt to rip in there and get her out.
And the version we meet of him in Shattered Observatory is just an echo, too, trapped in the loop forever and ever and ever. Maybe there is a real one out there -- or maybe the Mists destroyed that one as he tried to escape the Shattered Observatory, and the only versions of these two that exist are their shadows endlessly looping (which is honestly what We only exist in the Mists…echoes of ourselves. is meant to mean, but hey, it's not specific enough, I read it as 'the versions of ourselves that we are now aren't real. we're just shadows of our real selves, who aren't here any longer'). Fucked up, man. Anyway they should've made one of the archwizards in SotO an asura
Asura. They're little bastards. Love 'em. In my universe my asura druid Svess is holding Taimi's hand and talking her fucking head off about how to make nitroglycerin and they're having a GREAT time
#I'm not tagging this.#If you want to read my takes you gotta come for them manually.#It's 230 am I am so tired why did I write 5.4k words on asura
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
[https://open.spotify.com/episode/5gPo60y51nKuWSGdPV97YI]
A new season means a new reading list for the book club! First thing on the agenda is Dopabeane’s gory and phantasmagoric series “I Clean Crime Scenes and Hoarder Houses for a Living”.
If you have a small horror or web fiction project you want in the spotlight, email us! Send your name, pronouns and project to [email protected].
The Story: https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/8e7z4e/i_clean_crime_scenes_and_hoarder_houses_for_a/
Music Credits: https://patriciataxxon.bandcamp.com/
Our Tumblr: https://creepypastabookclub.tumblr.com/
Our Twitter: https://twitter.com/CreepypastaBC
Featuring Hosts:
Jonah (he/they) (https://withswords.tumblr.com/)
Wednesday (they/them) (https://wormsday.tumblr.com/)
Further Reading:
Agitogi, Akumi; My Happy Marriage
Barker, Clive; Books of Blood;
Henson, Jim; Jones, Terry; Lee, Dennis; Labyrinth
Jodorowsky, Alejandro; Holy Mountain
King, Stephen; Night Shift;
Kouri; Ib; https://www.vgperson.com/games/ib.html
Kui,Ryoko; Dungeon Meshi; https://mangadex.org/chapter/fb1fb684-7350-4259-a811-87c2c31e1cbc
Vandermeer, Jeff; Annihilation
Yoshino, Hiroyuki, et al; Guilty Crown
Questions? Comments? Email us at: [email protected]
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Elvira Wolff
I yield and I wanted to make a Bio for Elvira Wolff in the Resident Evil universe... So I hope you enjoy!
Born: 30th of November 1978
"Death": 7th of March 2009
Age: 20 (As of Resident Evil 4, 26)
Nationality: German
Gender: Female
Parent(s): Redacted
Hair colour: Black
Eye colour: Green (Later on Orange , red Hue and snake-like eyes)
Height: 172cm (5ft8)
Nicknames: Evi, Wolff, scars, Elvy (Wesker can only call her Elvy) _______________________________________________
Personality: A young, intelligent, strategic and one of the best S.T.A.R.S memebers with a nysterioud psdt.... Quiet and keeps herself to herself, but of all wonders... She is most special.
Likes: Wesker (She has a crush on him) , Reading, being alone, training and working hard
Dislikes: Talking about her past, not being silent to remember her childhood, herself, being called a freak
_______________________________________________
Backstory:
Not a lot was known about Elvira, they made sure much informstion was hidden as possible. Away from pyring eyes.
Elvira was nothing but a vessell to her father who was a Scientist with Umbrella Cooperation. Testing their viruses on her without hesitation or remorse.
Elvira had been infected with the following Viruses;
T-Vrius
Progenitor Virus
T-Verionica
Uroboros
Elvira spent most of her childhood alone with no friends, and spent her time alone or with the carers sometimes who bothered to look after her.
Elvira lived in one of the Umbrella facilities ib Europe for most of her childhood, before she got sent to an American facility; To Albert Wesker, to be monitored and tested on. (Before he created his S.T.A.R.S Team)
She was Intelligent than all the younger kids of her age in the facility which was fascinating, she showed great agility and combat ehrn she was trained for fighting too.
In 1997 at nineteen years old Elvira joined S.T.A.R.S after completing their training snd selection and got placed in Captain Wesker's team. They could all easily tell Elvira had potential from the first moment they met her.
Elvira struggled with her English, which she also got teased sometimes. But in no time she managed to learn English in order to fit in, it worked... Just a little.
Elvira tried her best to be friends with everyone, being the shy and quiet type didn't really help her. Due to her bad experience in making friends at the Orphanage, she was more nervous and intimidated in meeting all of them.
Quickly she became friends with the Captain Wesker, along with Chris Redfield and Jill Valentine.
At the end of the year in 1997 during ine of their Christmas parties, Elvira confessed her love to Albert Ersker and the two quickly got together.
In 1998 Elvira joined in the hunt to find Bravo team at the Spencer Mansion, during that Elvira got fatally injured by one of the mutated dogs on her arm. While Chris got lost... Barry, Jill, Wesker and Elvira safely got to the mansion.
While Elvira followed Wesker around the mansion, both seemed to notice that Elvira didn't look or seemed infected. This was when Wesker's obsession started with Elvira, he knew she was special.
With Wesker's betrayal and the Tyrant— Elvira quickly killed him and made her escape with Jill, Chris and Barry.
Six years after the Raccoon City Incident Elvira still a member of S.T.A.R.S but got pulled into by the Government to assist Leon Kennedy in Europe to assist in Rescuing Baby Eagle.
Unaware her old friend was lurking in the shadows...
#resident evil#resident evil oc#resident evil ocs#resident evil 1#resident evil 4#oc#ocs#elvira wolff
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
anyways we started walking a few blocks to our hotel and I saw a fursuiter (2nd fursuit ive ever seen) ahead of us on the sidewalk and i lost my mind and then suddenly every pedestrian ib the city on every corner was wearing tails and ears and I was not expecting this where am i
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
Howdy, new tumblr mainly focused on my Sonic OC, Mirage! Here's a little thing I kinda took from @azalea-towne
Mirage the Wolf is an anthropomorphic wolf that resides in an orphanage in Park Avenue sometime after the events of Sonic Forces. After the Eggman War she worked alongside the Reclamation to help rebuild the city and by extension, the orphanage. Her oldest memories are of her at the orphanage helping take care of the other kids there. She found it so enriching she purposefully avoided being adopted simply so she could stay behind and care for the kids there.
Mirage is an openly warm and caring person, focusing on supporting others as best she can. She's also a bit of an adventurous spirit despite choosing to chain herself down to the orphanage (which may explain why she's so quick to venture to the Starfall Islands to find the missing child). She's also quick to anger, especially toward anyone posing a threat to those under her care. While she may not be very physically powerful, she's exceptionally tenacious. Refusing to give up even at her own detriment.
Biographical Overview
Name - Mirage
Age - 17
Species - Mobian Wolf
Physical Description
Gender - Trans Female
Height - 3′01''
Weight - 73.2 Ibs (41kg)
Fur - Light Pink
Skin - I have no clue how to describe the color sorry
Eyes - Hazel
Alignment and Other Traits
Alignment - Lawful-Good
Likes - Soft rain sounds, Caring for others, Exploring new places/things, What she calls "stupid butt rock" music, Helping others, Gross greasy pizza
Dislikes - People posing a threat to anyone she swears to protect, Her own anger, People abusing their power, Failing her responsibilities
Powers / Abilities - An aggressive refusal to give up, An impressive skill with makeshift weaponry, Superhuman charm
Ability Type - Technical
Weaknesses - People using her family as leverage, Her anger getting the best of her/blinding her, A fear of losing those she holds dear
Quick final notes
I'm very tired and writing this very late after doing a bunch of stuff so let us rapid-fire some extra stuff
She spent most of the events of Forces hiding with everyone from the orphanage and she actually doesn't know most of what happened thanks to her hiding as far away from the action as she could
Her story takes place in a mix of the IDW and games canon. The IDW comics happened but also the Starfall Islands are an important location
She's pansexual/panromantic
She idolizes Sonic and the rest of the Resistance/Restoration since she felt they did more than she ever could to protect her family
As a child she got in a ton of fights with other kids, which she usually lost, to protect others
5 notes
·
View notes
Photo
En mindre aktiv månad – dock fortfarande tvåsiffrig. Jag har stiftat bekantskap med så väl Ingmar Bergman som Carl Jonas Love Almqvist.
Ansiktet (1958) [👎🆓]
Synopsiset verkade bra, och på tredje försöket tryckte jag “play”. För att citera Kjell Bergkvist: “pretentiös smörja”. Bra sammanfattning (av Kjelle IB i stort, för mig denna film).
Atlantis: En Försvunnen Värld / Atlantis: The Lost Empire (2001) [👍🔁]
Kände för att se om den här, och hoppas få inspiration att se uppföljaren (som jag tror jag aldrig sett).
Brutus vs César (2020) [👎]
Mer franskt. Påstår att den är en komedi. Den är varken rolig eller underhållande.
Charleys Tant (2015) [👍 🔁 🎭 ]
Med sina 2½ timmar borde den vara för lång, Claes Malmberg och Marianne Mörck gör dock den här farsen till en njutning även andra vändan.
En Afton På Jaktslottet (1983) [👎 🎭 📺]
Skitnödig svensk tv-teater, svag ramberättelse ämnad att hänga upp Carl Jonas Love Almqvist på. Stampar vatten ända tills det äntligen är över.
Ghost Ship (1952) [__]
Egentligen trodde Vodeville att det handlade om den här filmen från 2003, men jag gillar ju gammal film. Och den här var riktigt bra. Hoppas dock fortfarande på att få se den andra också.
Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021) [__]
Hur skulle Ghostbusters sett ut om Spielberg regisserat den? Nu vet vi, för Jason Reitman går inte i pappas fotspår. Bättre än väntat.
Lost City, the (2022) [👍]
SF-film ropade: “kom tillbaka, allt är förlåtet” och jag löste in min gratisfilm på den här. Lös remake på “Den vilda jakten på stenen”. Sandra Bullock går all in och levererar en underhållande actionkomedi som tåls att ses om.
Prey (2022) [👍]
Insåg efteråt att jag såg den här på premiärdagen på Disney+. Prequel till den första Predator-filmen. Jag gillade den, avgjort bättre än många av de andra uppföljarna jag såg.
Sugar: I Hetaste Laget (2016) [👍🎭]
Eva Rydberg har uppdaterat sin YT-kanal med Klassisk Broadway på Fredriksdal. Rekommenderas.
Vast of Night, the (2022) [👍]
Månadens guldkorn. Lågmäld, charmig liten science fiction-film som tar avstamp från genrens guldålder.
Inget snack om saken. Skall man plocka en film denna månad skall man plocka “the Vast of Night”, och man gör bäst i att undvika både “Ansiktet” och “Brutus vs César“.
#senast sedda filmer#månadens filmer#film#movies#ansiktet#ingmar bergman#atlantis: the lost empire#Atlantis: En Försvunnen Värld#brutus vs césar#charleys tant#charley's aunt#En Afton På Jaktslottet#ghost ship#ghostbusters: afterlife#the Lost City#Prey#Sugar: I Hetaste Laget#fredriksdalsteatern#the vast of night
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
Trip to Belgrade
♡Activity title: Trip to Belgrade
♡Duration: 29.10-5.11
♡Type of activity: creativity and action
♡Activity description
I spent my whole autumn break in Belgrade so there were many activities I did. Some of them were:
♡Sightseeing with my family-We mainly spent time in city center and some other parts of town that I have never visited before
♡Visiting 65th International Belgrade Book Fair- regional largest event devoted to books
♡Visiting School of Electrical Engineering-My friend Jelena who is a student there showed me her university, took me to lectures with her and introduced her new life routine since she moved from Banja Luka to Belgrade
♡Exploring the city with my friends from Belgrade-I met them this summer during physics summer camp and since we are still in contact we decided to hang out together and visit some places they usually go to in order to get better sense of the city
♡Learning outcomes
Identify own strengths and develop areas for growth
Demonstrate that challenges have been undertaken, developing new skills in the process
Demonstrate how to initiate and plan a CAS experience
Show commitment to and perseverance in CAS experiences
Demonstrate the skills and recognize the benefits of working collaboratively
♡Reflection
This trip to Belgrade was one of my favorites for so many reasons. The autumn break was much needed and the best way for me to spend it was in my favorite city with my grandparents, nephews and friends. Each experience was really interesting and useful. I explored the city with my family who knows Belgrade pretty well, but sightseeing with my friends was a bit different because I got the chance to see what would my life look like if I lived there. I visited Temple of Sveti Sava, Dedinje and city center with my parents and I liked visiting Dedinje the most because even though I spent most of my summer and winter breaks in Belgrade, that was my first time visiting that part of the town and I really liked the view from there. Sightseeing with my friends was way more fun because we got the chance to catch up on things that are going on in our lives and sightseeing itself was more suited for our age and it was a interesting to experience the city from their perspective. What was common to all of these visits was it is actually normal to get lost in the city no matter how long you live there. I would also like to mention my whole day visit to Faculty of Engineering with my other friend Jelena. She has just started going there this autumn and she is adjusting to the new city and all challenges living in big city brings and the most interesting part was that I got the opportunity to experience all these things too. Starting from transportation which is a bit complicated to lectures on the faculty and planning the whole day as a student. I met a lot of people who studied there and heard their experiences with the faculty and living as a college student. By the end of the day I got so used to the environment that I felt like I was student there as well. This experience was really important because it helped me realize that it is really similar to the IB program and that I already feel more prepared for university even though I don't plan on studying engineering. This week was one of the best trips I had this year and I hope to have many more experiences like this.
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Love Letter to my Friends
Tw- life stuff? Not suicide but like depressiony shit
I've not been on here and that's not okay and it is. Its not okay in the way that I miss yall and miss talking to you and sending memes. But I've also been v busy. Read this, don't but either way.
Do you ever get think about the friends you've made online and how some of them you'll never meet or see again because they have gone inactive and it scares the living shit out of me. I may have never met yall but you guys are my friends and it fucking pains me that I'll never be able to show up on ur doorsteps with McDonald's and watch a movie or like even put flowers on ur hair when we go on walks or shit.
Timeline-
May 15th- last day at my favorite job. We all, there was about 75 of us. We all had made big plans to move to that city and were getting cars and drivers licenses in order to get to said job. We found out two weeks before that my company at that time had lost the contract. I was a cook in a college building cooking for students in a 50s themed diner. It had multiple restaurants in the same building so I was one of the ones they crosstrained so I was in about every one of the 8 concepts they had. I loved it. No cap on overtime, I was treated good. The university kicked us out because the contract price was too expensive and they found a cheaper competitor. I was one of the last 4 people to leave the building that day, I walked out with four of my friends (technically bf too)
May 15 to June 1st- didn't have a job lined up. Losing the jobs threw everyone off. Word cam in that a close university also run by my company could take us in. Fine. It was an hour and a half away. So,, being from the same small ass town my and my bf decided to move for that job at the new college.
New college was opening a jersey mikes. It's a sub sandwich shop. They take three of us from the first college job and send us through manager training at a training store. Also sends an employee from the new college.
We didn't last two weeks before we all walked out. Shitty management, forced customer interaction (which, is what food service is but this took it to a whole new level), the place was disgusting. The employees at the jm were doing crack and shots in the back because they ALL are dead inside and I firmly believe that jm caused a good portion of that.
July 10- was my last day of jm i couldnt take it anymore. I had multiple breakdowns and had one as a clocked out for the last time. I remember just turning to go hop back on the sandwich making station and this sense of dread just filled me and I knew I could not stay there.
I was the second on out. My bf lasted for four more weeks after I quit. My work bestie lasted through training but left two days ago. The manager over all of us quit last week because the stress from this deal put him in the hospital.
And the fuck of it all was,, a higher up in the company made a shady deal with the jm owner for that region and that's why we weren't pulled. Another coworker had walked out the first week and that's when the very high ups said pull them jersey mikes is done at this place. But then the deal guy said no, I don't care if it kills you you are my employees, you do what I say.
July 24th- when is started my current job. I work as a cook at a golf course. I like it. It's nice and isn't like super fast paced like the first college job was.
August 1st- moved to the big city. Starts with a C in a Midwest state I'll let you guess there's not many. Live my new apartment and get started on a new antidepressant because my previous one had stopped working during jersey mikes training.
August 7th - 23rd, had about 10 interviews because I was not sure about the golf job.
August 26th - Sep 11th, my cat was in the vet hospital. Took them some time to figure out what was wrong but he has feline ibs and is allergic to protien. His bilirubin was 11, it's supposed to be 0.5. He was looking scraggly but he's doing so much better now.
He was so yellow. He's not now but he has earned the nickname highlighter boy. He's doing better now and has to be tube fed for another week or so but he's better.
September 7th- goes back to my first college job now that another company has taken it over. My entire crew is back as well.
September 9th- quits my old/new job because I can't make the drive anymore. It's exactly what I was doing from Indiana to the place, just now I'm in another state. It sucked so much because my crew was back and we all worked so well together.
Now- Happy with my job. They are firing this one worst worker there. Since it's a small kitchen there's only 4 cooks and she's a bitch. The worst. She's going to be gone soon so that is super great. As of right now I'm printing off some planner pages that I'm going to laminate and hopefully that will help me get my life in order.
My bf quit vaping, his dog is getting neutered sometime soon and that's good bc the dog does NOT have manners. Theres no overtime at my job now so it's let me have more at home time which is something I did not take for the past year since I always had overtime opportunities. I like decorating my apartment and cooking. I'm cooking more now! Im so happy for myself, as it's something I haven't done for a very long time due to the spicy sadnesses.
I'm going to pharmacy tech school starting this November. I'm excited to learn about that because I've known for awhile I've needed to get out of food before it breaks my body down.
Thank you for reading this I love you all.
-Gosh DAMG IT. I had more paragraphs here but tumblr is stupid and deleted them let's see if I'll rewrite them bc I'm not going to tonight I've been here at the printer for 3 hours now.
@slothspaghettiwrites @tiredmoonlight @bitchassbucky @ghostydeans @littlelioncub43 @loki-hargreeves @kim-monsterlings @munsonsmuse @earth2bucky
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've Actually Healed
I did a cluster b personality disorder question thing (privately) and some of the answers I gave were validating. Like asking about caring about looks or what a bad episode can be like or some really negative aspects. I got to say "no" or "not anymore" or "used to be, but not now" and it was all so validating. I doubt myself a lot even though I know that I'm healing. But the fact that I could write about how it used to be and have PROOF just by answering questions that I've changed was a wonderfully validating thing. I sent the link to my friend so they could read and they told me they were proud of me. I HAVE made progress, I HAVE healed in some way. I can cope with things better, I have medications that help my hormonal mood swings (birth control) and anxiety meds that help me not be a ball of pure anxiety unable to relax forever. I have some coping mechanisms I've picked up, I have ways to rationalize and understand my emotions I've picked up from therapy sessions, and I've come to unbag my trauma and understand my own reactions, my own triggers everything. It's been 2 years at least (the pandemic in 2020 was a big reason I could start focusing on myself without pressure) and I have changed a lot. I came out to myself, I came out to my friends and my gf, I accepted I had these disorders, I got on medication, I got help for my PCOS, I became educated on racial issues, I found neopronouns that fit me and help me, I learned about tone indicators and began using them, I had a friend on twitter that was the inspiration for me to come out. I've done so much for myself in two years. Many older folks (like my family) may look at me like I have done nothing because I basically almost never work and all I do is stay in my room or text friends, but I feel happier than I used to be...
I feel happy with who I am and I feel more free than ever before.
And that is such an empowering and wonderful feeling. The recent move has helped a lot as well. Since I have a TV in my room, I don't have to get anxious about what I watch since I don't have to worry about my parents coming in. I've processed a lot of my grief and trauma. MA and I are both working on helping ourselves and each other and healing. My relationships with all my friends and my gf are better than ever. People may look at me like I've done nothing, like I'm a failure because I don't work or go to college, or like I'm some entitled brat, but I know exactly what I am doing. I am paying attention to my needs. My diet is better than ever, physical issues like IBS and PCOS are more manageable than ever before, I've expanded my interests into things I thought I'd never try, I'm learning what I need to do for my physical health, I am wearing clothes that fit, I don't rely on self harm, I can open up, I am reigniting my love of reading and can get lost in stories like I used to. I AM better. Just because those boomers don't see it doesn't mean it isn't true.
And so let me finish this with a reminder. It is okay to take time off, it is okay to need to do what you can. It is okay to pay attention to your needs. You do not need to apologize for feeling emotions. Of course if you lose your temper, apologies make sense, but not at a point where you're guilting yourself. This has been important in mine and MA's relationship as we both struggle with blaming ourselves. It is okay to not be perfect. It is okay to not be where your peers are. My friends ARE able to go to college (most of em) and to work and I still see them struggling. A friend of mine has recently moved to a college in another city, a few hours away. I miss her tons and even if she is stressed and it sucks, I know that this is something she's wanted. Why? Because she's away from her family. So even if college sucks, it can still provide an escape if you can manage to move. MA got to spend time with their boyfriend a lot cause they went to college together, got lunch and dinner together, and rode the bus together. My friend R and I can't do those things like my friends can, but R walks dogs and is improving their health and they also pet sit for neighbors. I sometimes work doordash and I can exercise better than before and am improving my diet to be healthier. Just because R and I aren't in college or working normal, regular jobs doesn't mean we've failed because we are better. MA and C might be in college and might struggle because of school and work, but it also provides them freedom from their families and benefits to their mental health. There's pros and cons to everything and what works for you is unique to you. And some people have to work due to capitalism and not having the support that R and I have (despite our toxic family members) and that's entirely valid as well. This whole rant is to say:
Believe in yourself and do what is best for you. Whether it's getting away, what is possible underneath capitalism, small things for your physical or mental health, small coping mechanisms, just taking a fucking break. Whatever it may be, you know your needs best. Your life is unique to you, your needs and necessities, where you are in life. Even if it fits into the mold that is expected of us or whether it lies outside or whether you're disabled and have no choice, it is something you can choose for yourself.
I am disabled due to my disorders, that's why I cannot work. Nobody understands that aside from my gf and friends. But that's okay. Because I am healing :) and I am proud of myself. This is my experience, these are the experiences of my close friends. They are all different in their own way. Even if the jobs sucked and stressed C out, they were able to move away and have some freedom from their family. I know it'll be good for em even if it hurts that it happened so quickly. Your path is yours.
And to anyone struggling, I love you and I'm proud of you. You don't need to justify being worthy of love or just existing. You deserve to hear those words even if you've done nothing. Because you're here and that is a wonderful, wonderful thing.
#positivity#self care#self healing#self diagnosed#autistic#actually autistic#bpd#borderline personality disorder#healing#mindfulness#cluster b#hpd#histrionic personality disorder#cluster a#cluster c#paranoid personality disorder#ppd#avoidant personality disorder#avpd#avoidant pd#queer#lgbtq community#genderfluid#nonbinary#pansexual#ace flux#alterous attraction#grayromantic#demiromantic#neurodivergence
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Museums... what a curious thing. To keep one's history locked away where it had to be visited was such a strange concept to the Atlantean woman, when her own was written across every stone that built the city. She supposed, in a way, that this city was much the same in its own right : while New York was hardly old enough to truly have any history by her own measure, there was a melding of old stone and the new steel throughout Manhattan. Fighting to survive against a new world.
She could relate to those old stones.
But the items on display in their glass cases were not of New York. Rather, they seemed to have been gathered from every corner of history, carefully curated and collected. A transformation mask of the Haida peoples, depicting Raven. Mixtec goldsmithing pieces for the Aztecs, depicting guardians and gods. Incan stonework. And... the piece that stopped Kida in her tracks was a simpler display, an old and weathered piece of parchment encased behind glass.
The writing was familiar, not only in its language but its script : she'd spent many hours pouring over the same penmanship, and knew it well. Aziz. The parchment was old, no doubt lost before the scrolls ever made it to Lindisfarne, before the journal was bound... She would have thought any piece such as this would have been in Whitmore's own collection. Thoughtfully, reverently, her hand settles over the glass ( she is cautious now, more than she once would have been : a few too many mishaps in the past have made her wiser. )
She does not read as well as Milo, even now, but it takes only a minute for her to make sense of the text. Under her breath, aloud, she mutters along with the words — far too used to being perceived as strangely foreign to worry much. "Yobmok behr-NOT-esh-ib-mik..."
@stardustedstories for DAVID XANATOS || semi-plotted
#❪ ⠀ ✦ ⠀ ─── ⠀ stardustedstories / david xanatos ⠀﹕ ⠀pay a man enough and he'll walk barefoot into hell. ⠀ ❫#❪ ⠀ ✦ ⠀ ─── ⠀ kidagakash nedakh / ic ⠀﹕ ⠀let us share our light with the world! ⠀ ❫#/ GOD it's been a hot minute since I tried to write in Atlantean#/ the dictionary that once existed is long gone so hhhhh I guess I have to rebuild one for myself#/ ANYWAY setting this AFTER her meeting with Elisa but before the actual MEETING.
1 note
·
View note
Last Seen Blogs
