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xxlady-lunaxx · 5 months

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Unwilling | {KokuZan}

Theme: Angst

Note: I purposefully chose to write this as angsty as I could. I'm sorry in advance-

TW: implications of suicide! Mentions of sex :> like... the word haha- Angst obv! Vague spoilers-

How I wrote this is kinda skipping around a bunch and I wrote it differntly than I used to so sorry it's kinda rushed too...

It might not make sense if you've not finished the manga :> (more somewhere around the middle, I mean? cuz i'm vague abt details halfway through LMAO)

(part two here)

Kokushibo looked at Muzan with an inquiring look. "Muzan..?" he said tentatively.

Muzan sighed, as if annoyed he had been called. "Yes?" He looked at Kokushibo from his perch on his chair. "What is it you want?"

"Can I, um, kiss you?" the Uppermoon asked. He wasn't sure what to say. He just wanted some sort of affection from his boyfriend who seemed to hesitant to give him any.

Muzan crossed his arms. "Kiss me? No. I'm not in the mood for wasting my time right now."

Kokushibo nodded and averted his eyes. He'd expected that. It was the same answer he got nearly every time.

"It's too much of a bother," Muzan said, rolling his eyes. "Now, go to where Nakime is."

Kokushibo obeyed and moved to leave.

~~~

Muzan stood above all of the Uppermoons on a platform, something he'd had Nakime make specifically higher up to appear more menacing 'than he already was.'

"All of you are useless!" he said, his voice echoing in the hollow of the room. "You cannot seem to follow orders correctly! So far, no Hashira has been killed in the past, what? ten years? Pathetic. None of you have found any sort of trace of the blue spider lily, and besides that! You cannot catch a mere child. No sign of the runaway demon, no sign of any of you making progress at all! Disgusting. Have the Upperranks fallen? The Lowermoons were already horrible, but will all of you acting as such, maybe you six should be qualified as Lowermoons." He gave them a condemning look. "You're failing as Uppermoons. If you do not do something soon, if you do not prove yourselves worthy of the title I've given to you, I'm stripping all of you of your ranks."

There was a defeaning silence in the room and even Nakime knew better than to make a sound as Muzan glared down upon the Uppermoons.

The threats were probably—hopefully—empty ones as they had been for some years now, but they were still terrifying all the same. Who knew if this would be the time he decided they were no longer just to scare them?

He raised an eyebrow at their silence. "Very well then, off to your missions now. I hope none of you disappoint me," he said, shooting a look at Nakime.

In an instant there was a strum of an instrument and every Uppermoon found them back to where they'd been a couple minutes before.

Kokushibo, having just had been in Muzan's office, was there again now. Muzan stood in front of him, the stern look still playing on his face.

The Uppermoon blinked then said, "Uhm, Master..."

"What is it?" Muzan snapped, irritated.

"I'm sorry that I've—we've all—not been doing enough to fullfill your wishes, I promise to work harder and I'll-" Kokushibo started.

Muzan interrupted him with an impatient look. "Does it look like I give a fuck? Apologies aren't going to change anything and promises won't either, so don't fucking act as if I'll 'forgive you' for some stupid words." He rolled his eyes and glanced up at Kokushibo. "It's your own fault for being useless and weak. Go fix it yourself than pleading forgiveness."

"But... Muza-"

"No. Go do your missions or I'll put Douma up as Upper 1," he said, clearly a lie but also quite plainly a way to say I don't give a fuck about you right now.

Kokushibo sighed and turned away, trudging out the door.

~~~

Muzan glanced at the clock. 4am. Fuck.

Well he wouldn't be going outside anytime soon.

He sighed. Where was Kokushibo?

He drummed his fingers on his desk mindlessly, bored out of his mind. He sort of wanted to be with Kokushibo right now, just to... be with him.

But there was no way he would go ask. No fucking way.

Muzan dropped his head down onto the desk, annoyed with himself. Why'd he even care about Kokushibo?

The clocked ticked by painfully slowly and Muzan found himself pacing around.

Eventually, he got bored and went around to Nakime.

"Nakime." he said quietly, his voice echoing in the empty room.

"Yes?"

"Take me to one of the households I've presented myself in as a human."

"Alright." She brought her hand down to her biwa and plucked one of the strings.

Muzan blinked and found himself in front of a door.

"Papa!!" a little girl said, running up to him and hugging him.

He quickly changed his eyes to normal looking ones and gave her a smile. "Hello, I'm back from work," he said. "Why are you up so early? It's only 6..."

She grinned up at him. "Because I can!"

He sighed. "Alright..."

A woman came in and greeted him. "She woke up and wouldn't go back to sleep," she explained apologetically.

"Oh, alright, well, you should go off to bed," he said, looking down at the child in a disapproving way.

"Awh.. but-"

"Go to sleep! You need sleep!!"

She huffed but nodded and ran off.

The woman laughed. "Welcome back, dear."

He nodded. "Hm... If she sleeps, do you think we could have some time alone?" he asked.

"Maybe," she said, smiling at him. "Why?"

"I thought we could maybe do something together," he said, his tone suggesting more than he said. Suppose, he thought, she could fullfill some of his want for Kokushibo. She wouldn't be the Uppermoon but she'd be something to fill in his time?

~~~

"He went where..?" Kokushibo asked slowly, his gaze dropping from Nakime to the floor. Why would Muzan go to a human family...

Nakime sighed. "Kokushibo-sama, Muzan-sama went out with the woman from the family of humans he'd created in Asakusa." She looked down at him from her platform above. "Apologies. Should I take you there?"

He shook his head slowly. "No, no I think... take me to his office, please?"

"Alright..."

~~~

(drama✨)

Kokushibo tapped his foot impatiently on the floor as he waited.

Finally, after a couple hours, Muzan arrived. He looked disheveled and his clothes looked unusually unkept. As he walked in, he was fixing them, when his eyes landed on Kokushibo.

"Kokushibo?" he said, confused.

At the same moment, the Uppermoon said, "Muzan. We must talk."

"What about?" Muzan didn't care about reading Kokushibo's mind at the moment. His own mind was already filled with the sounds the woman had made some time before. Honestly, he didn't like her but if it would do anything to make him feel less... clingy, then so be it. Well, it was kind of useless now since Kokushibo was back and now he wanted to just throw himself into the Uppermoon's arms...

"Are you cheating on me?"

The demon lord blinked, pulling his mind from his thoughts. "What now?"

"Are you cheating on me," Kokushibo repeated, his voice stern but his tone almost... hurt.

"Why would you..." Kokushibo's thoughts filled Muzan's mind and he realized that he knew of the woman. "No! I'm not."

"Are you sure of that? You never seemed to care about me, you never do anything with me, you don't let me do anything for you, and then you go out and have sex with another person! And a woman, no less!! Do I not satisfy your needs because I am a man?" Kokushibo asked irritably.

There was silence in the room for a beat before Muzan said, "Well, of course I don't like you!! You're... boring!" What a fucking lame insult. He didn't even mean it. But of course, he wasn't about to say what he felt... that's not how it worked, right?? Anyways, who even wanted to pour out their feelings? "I don't care about all this affectionate shit you want."

It was Kokushibo's turn to process this. "So... you really don't care?"

"No!!" He was so persistant, why did he even like Muzan?

"Then..." Kokushibo swallowed, his mind racing. Muzan didn't like him... "Then I want to break up."

"What?" Muzan looked genuinely shocked at this. "Why?"

"You literally just said you don't like me!! And you just cheated on me!" Kokushibo crossed his arms. "I'm breaking up with you." Then he turned and marched out, leaving Muzan in shock.

Why... How had this happened? Muzan leaned on his desk for support. He hadn't been cheating!! He'd just been... No, he supposed it appeared as if had been. Why hadn't he noticed...? (bc he's a dumbass)

~~~

Kokushibo flopped onto the bed he never used, feeling horrible.

Why had he done that?

No, more so, why had Muzan cheated on him?

He... Kokushibo loved him! He'd done everything in his power to make sure Muzan was feeling alright in the relationship, feeling good. But he'd failed. And now they'd broken up. Because of Kokushibo.

Fuck.

He was a fucking idiot, what had he done wrong?? Where in their relationship had he fucked up...?

~~~

Muzan buried his head in his arms, leaning onto the desk. That didn't happen. Please let it not have happened.

But, of course it had. Of course it had.

Muzan had fucked up the whole relationship, and now, for some reason, Kokushibo had thought he never cared and then he'd fucking broken up with him!!

No fucking wonder all his relationships were fake.

Muzan groaned. He was a shitty boyfriend.

Not Kokushibo, Muzan was.

Kokushibo had been a wonderful one. A loveable one.

And guess who dumped that all away?

Muzan.

He lifted his head and hit it hard onto the table. Fuck.

~~~

He thought he would get used to it. The not dating Kokushibo 'it,' to be more specific. But it was hard. Kokushibo had been... everything to Muzan. And now he was nothing.

It had been months now and yet, the only thing Muzan could think of was his boyfriend. No, his ex. Right. They weren't dating anymore.

Why couldn't he just grasp that?

~~~

A girl. A demon girl. She had conquered the sun.

Muzan should've felt happy but he really... really, he didn't. He couldn't. But he would get the fucking girl and take her blood.

Maybe if he became truly immortal he could find a way to get Kokushibo back.

~~~

Kokushibo felt useless.

Like, he couldn't... couldn't live knowing Muzan had never liked him. He'd just been... some toy to the demon king, then? Probably.

And so he did his best to ignore him, avoid him.

He would never forgive Muzan. No, he could never.

~~~

Perfect. The perfect solution!!

Muzan would get the demon girl and then when all the demons could resist the sunlight... then, he would use that occasion to ask Kokushibo back. Because it would be a good time for the demons as well.

~~~

Fuck it, the demon slayers were doing better than Muzan had expected... But, no matter. They would win. Muzan would win. He had to, otherwise how would he ask out Kokushibo?

~~~

Shit. Half of the Uppermoons were dead. Where was Kokushibo.

Muzan closed his eyes and located Kokushibo, fighting three Hashira and one demon slayer.

The Uppermoon was... struggling.

Ah... the strongest Hashira was there too.

No matter... the strongest Uppermoon was no match for him.

~~~

No. No. No, what, how?!

Kokushibo... Kokushibo had died.

How. How the fuck.

Muzan fought furiously against the Hashira that just kept coming and coming. The demon slayers, so persistent.

Why. Why had they taken Kokushibo from him?!

Fucking hell...

Muzan saw the sun facing towards him, disintigrating him. He was dying. Fuck it, he was dying.

And then there was nothing.

He looked around. Was he still alive?

No...

He was going to hell now, no?

He was dead.

And there was Kokushibo.

"Kokushibo!" Muzan shouted, his voice echoing in this emptiness.

Kokushibo looked at him, disdain filling his features in a second. "Muzan," he said quietly.

"Kokushibo, will you forgive me? I..." Muzan's voice trailed off.

"Forgive you?" Kokushibo laughed, a fake one, a cold, horrid sound. "Never. I will never forgive you, Muzan Kibutsuji. You ruined my life. I should've never become a demon."

Muzan gaped at him. "What..?"

Kokushibo gave him a disgusted look and faded away.

"No! Kokushibo! I'm sorry!"

It was too late.

He would never be forgiven.

~~~

Muzan wasn't aware that people who went to hell were given second chances. But apparently they were.

He found himself as a child growing up. He felt sort of empty, as if missing something though.

As he grew into his teens, he started remembering more of his past. Little by little.

He found he longed for a relationship, but whenever he dated someone he felt only remorse for something—someone—he didn't know what. Or who.

He had a girlfriend now. Again.

She was sweet and nice to him but he found that he wasn't particularily attracted to her. Sure, she was pretty and all, but... he was unsure.

"Kie!" he said, her hand clasping around his arm. "You're going to break my back!"

She laughed. "Carry me!! I'm not that heavy!"

"You aree!!" he whined.

She gave him a playfully injured look. "What?!"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding," he said, pulling her along the sidewalk.

Muzan stopped abruptly, almost bumping into a boy who looked to be around his age. Kie did bump into him.

"Ow-" Muzan said, turning and stopping her from falling.

"Sorry- Oh, hello!" Kie said, smiling.

The boy nodded. "Hey."

Muzan turned back and nearly fell down. "Kokushibo?!" he said, shock filling his tone.

"You know him?" his girlfriend asked, confused.

Kokushibo nodded slowly. Then quickly shook his head. "No, nope, you must've mistakened me. My name is Michikatsu, sorry, bye!!" he said, looking almost scared. He shot a glare at Muzan then sped off in the opposite direction.

"That was odd," Kie said.

"Yeah, uhm, odd," Muzan agreed, nodding. He watched as Kokushibo ran off. Kokushibo... he could speak to him now.

~~~

"Fuck, where the hell is he?" Michikatsu grumbled, walking down the street.

"Kokushibo."

The voice pulled Michikatsu out of his thoughts and he looked up. Dread filled him instantly. Muzan.

"Yes?" he said quietly. There was no escape, was there? He couldn't leave as he was looking for Yoriichi.

"Kokushibo, you remember, don't you?" Muzan asked hopefully.

"I do. Why?" he said, realizing a second too late he should've pretended not to.

"Kokushibo, I'm sorry, please!! Please can we... can we try again?" Muzan pleaded.

"No."

"What?"

"No, no we cannot. You say you remember, then you must remember that you've cheated on me and that you don't even care," Michikatsu said, crossing his arms.

"But... I care now!!"

"Sure. Lies." He glared at him, anger filling his voice. "I could never care for you anyways." That was a lie too. He did care. But he didn't want to get into a one-sided relationship. Muzan was probably just doing this for show.

"Oh."

And that was all Muzan said because then, Yoriichi walked over.

"Michi!! I was looking for you everywhere," he whined.

Michikatsu turned around gratefully. "Yoriichi!! Finally! I was trying to find you too," he said, laughing.

Muzan blinked. Oh. Yoriichi.

Yoriichi noticed Muzan, then, and his eyes narrowed. "Michi, is he bothering you?"

Michikatsu considered denying it but then nodded. "Yes, he's, uhm, trying to date me."

"Get away from my brother," Yoriichi snapped. "We don't need your gay ass around us." He pulled Michikatsu's arm. "Let's go."

"Yeah, let's go," Michikatsu said, half relieved and half disappointed. For what? He knew not.

"Wait-!" Muzan tried, but the Tsugikuni's had already sped off.

An angry voice came from behind him. "Are you cheating on me?" Kie asked, crossing her arms.

"What?" Muzan turned, desperation suddenly filling him. Those words... not again.

"You're trying to date someone else? Are you really gay? Wow. The most bullshit I've heard in my life. You're literally dating a girl and then go off and find guy and try to date him?" Her voice grew louder with each word, fury rising in her throat. "I can't believe you!! I'm breaking up with you! I really thought I could trust you."

Muzan was speechless which Kie took as confirmation. She glared at him and then stalked off.

That...

Muzan blinked.

Fuck.

~~~

Yoriichi was making rice and Michikatsu stood watching him, his mind elsewhere.

Should he really have gone off and done what he had done? Or should he have let Muzan have a chance... Really, he wanted to have. He wanted to hold Muzan in his arms and believe that he meant the apologies.

But he also couldn't believe them. As much as he wanted to. Which was ironic, he knew, but it was... something he truly felt. And he hated himself for it.

"Michi? You alright?" Yoriichi asked, waving a spoon in front of his face.

"Huh? Oh! Yeah, sorry, I was just thinking," Michikatsu said, smiling.

"Alright, well, the food is done!"

Michikatsu picked up the plate that Yoriichi had made for him and sat at the table.

Had he really done the right thing? Or was he just unwilling to chance Muzan's supposed lies...?

~~~

Maybe he should've just let Kokushibo go.

Two rejections from the man he loved.

Well, fuck it.

Muzan found himself at a cliff then, not even knowing where he was. Had he walked this far? He'd been so consumed in his thoughts that...

No, maybe he'd gone here on purpose. To end himself. He clearly belonged in hell, and only in hell.

It wasn't like anyone cared.

Muzan looked down, noting how far the cliff dropped down.

Perfect. The impact would be just enough to kill him.

He smiled at it, a sort of bitter smile.

"I tried," he whispered, leaning forward and closing his eyes.

{Word count: 2900}

WELP

i finished this with a stupid headache and rushed writing BUT IT'S OKAY I THINk

I THINK IT WAS WRITING A.L.R.I.G.H.T. (that's me trying to convince myself it's not shitty for a rushed in one hour sort of writing)

Kie is totally not Tanjiro's mother :3

#kokuzan #kny #kimetsu no yaiba #sillyness #demon slayer #angst #uppermoons #demons #angsty shit #muzan #muzan kibutsuji x kokushibo #yoriichi #the most angstiest thing i plan on writing in a while tbh bc i can't #help #im losing my sanity

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la-cocotte-de-paris · 4 months

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OKAY i managed to write out the general outline of this other play i'm gonna have start working on soon

#i say soon it could be this time next year before i'm really working on it properly #but i've started it a bit #ik what i want to have happen at least #in general #just tryna celebrate the little things so i don't lose whatever is left of my sanity as quickly lol #i feel my motivation slowly creeping back #i really hope to be productive this week once the worst of my period is out of the way #tbh idk if i could really focus before this point so i should be softer on myself #i've set an alarm for way earlier tomorrow imma try get my shit together idc if i've got enough sleep or not #(provided my period is not kicking my ass lol)#I'M GONNA DO THIS AND I WILL SUCCEED IN EVERYTHING I TRY #roacc

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thaliasthunder · 2 years

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pals i read it ends with us by colleen hoover and i dont think i'll be recovering from this hole in my chest very soon

#GUYS? 😭#tbh i was a little skeptical about reading it cuz #i saw it's probably the most famous book in booktok and it thought mmh it must be one of those cliche romance books #and also the cover is really ugly but #one night i just was searchin up what to read and say 'what if i just read it to see whats up? its not like i'll lose anything 🤷🏻‍♀️'#my emotional sanity. that's what i lost #i read somewhere that there was a boy named atlas that was very sweet and handsome #and before starting the book i had that thought that eventually i would fall in love w him #and fucking GODS i swear if it wasnt for that i would be even more WRECKED BECAUSE IF IT WASNT FOR THAT I WOULD'VE FALLEN IN LOVE W RYLE #AND EVERYTHING HE DID WOULD'VE HURT ME 1000 TIMES MORE #i did loved ryle at first #and having in mind he is really sweet when he's not mad i would've loved him still #but he wasnt sweet when he was mad #AT ALL #i fucking hated him every single time he hurt lily #and i felt even more hurt when he was sweet trying to make up after screwing everything up #and thats literally the whole point of the book #to have a taste of what a abusive relationship is #u dont understand how i SOBBED when lily told him 'i want a divorce.'#u dont understand how i SOBBED when lily started asking him ''what would u do if ur daughter told u 'my husband hit me?''#all of that scene WRECKED ME #and also my sweet boy atlas 😭😭😭#so yeah i misjudged this book #and im grateful i was hella wrong #it ends with us #colleen hoover #lily bloom #atlas corrigan #ryle kincaid

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plumblossombouquet · 2 years

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what if hu tao has a harem

#❀ fragrance in thaw (ooc).#idk im slowly losing my sanity tbh #my brain working 40 mph

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ranhanabi777 · 4 months

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#gonna watch evangelion 3.33 you can not redo #pls pray for my soul #i'm excited/scared/terrified/anxious/euphoric/at the verge of losing my sanity and my cool #tbh i know i won't be understanding anything and i'll only be looking for answers after finishing this part #but still #me irl

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mothbeasts · 8 months

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okay cleaver in dst would be interesting too i think personally. Something something can couriers survive HELL. cleaver voice ummm i dont think this is the mojave.

#bee's buzzing #benny fnv is there too they dragged him along for the adventure #benny is rapidly losing sanity and cleaver is skipping along and having a great time #they are foraging for berries in the woods #the worst thing for cleaver would be. no med-x. SAD oh well theres other couriers #theyre crumpled on the ground going through the horrors when they run out of their stash but like #otherwise? theyre so fine w/ this #they stare at wx with their autism eyes and go “technically im part robot. can i stick my hands in your wires”#what else. umm. cleaver would like several of th guys i think #theyre fascinated with wilsons pathetic guy swag #theyre like a weird aunt to all of the kids #i think theyd get along with just about everyone actually #debatably rocky start with maxwell if they know he got the others stuck here but like. shrugs. what can you do #they would also like wigfrid specifically i think. they're particularly fond of any performers tbh.#cleaver voice hi you seem cool. dont mind me staring with my autism eyes #THEY ALSO both have diets that primarily consist of meat. though #in cleavers case. they mostly eat. dubiously safe to eat raw meat off the ground like some kind of animal

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solarsecret · 9 months

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#before i get over this crush for the sake of my sanity i need to do something dramatic but not too deranged #either i write a poem/song or perform something at a show that may not be happening #is2g if it falls through i might lose it like i might get another date but i already got my hopes up anyways #just feels like a lot is fucked up rn and its making me more deranged about everything #when i confess its gonna be so cringe but tbh eat my ass it was obvious and a 3 month friendship is not that bad to ruin #if it was doomed from the start plus in all of this kanna is still my friend and sympathizes so like we win some we lose some #just needed to ramble to no one #maybe i wont do anything ill just isolate myself except for osh*wa and c*llingwood #and put all my energy into those and getting booked for ptb* pride fuck drag here anyways ahhhhh #if i get rejected for pride tho oop its over

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thisisntabackalley · 2 years

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//that moment when i realize i have ptsd caused by t.ony st.ark

#//argh it's not hatred but that man caused nothing but trouble and harm #//and ngl makes me wanna vomit whenever i see him #//even tho yes iron man got me into mcu in the first place #//really wish they wrote him better #//then again he's supposed to be a character fans hated #//idek #//wish i can blacklist him tbh #//all of my teamcap muses are suffering so much #//bc of the bs he did #//oof #[out of uniform]#tbd prob #//i swear if i see another tony defender say he did 'nothing wrong' im gonna lose the last shred of sanity i barely have

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verysium · 5 months

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This is such crack brain fart idea 😶

What if some blue lock boys ask the reader what brand her shoes (or something dumb like that) over text and reader sent them a voice message on text and it’s just:

“Hi baby, okay so the brand is—- *insert car accident noises*”

Have you seen those TikToks???

If you do this request, it can be any blue lock boys you want

HELPPP i saw something similar on hinge, and i was hunched over the side of my bed laughing for like 20 minutes. in general, i don't think pranks with any of the bllk boys would go well (unless you wanted to be punted like a football, american-style) but i'm taking a risk today, so here you go:

sae sees through your bullshit in a peloponnesian minute. he has morning practice, three interviews, and a daily nap to get to, so what makes you think he has time for you to fake a car accident? leaves you on read. (brutal, i know.)

rin is mildly concerned, but he's too smart to fall for whatever prank you have planned. he'd probably reply with a sarcastic, dry ass response or a deadpan emoji. refuses to talk to you for the rest of the day because what if you actually got into a car accident? he would lose all sanity. tbh he can't stand it when people make light of serious situations even if it's just a lighthearted joke.

kaiser is petty. he sends you an official funeral invite titled "in loving memory of y/n." he personally designed it in photoshop and even added those tacky glitter rose GIF animations on the front. coincidentally, everyone in your immediate circle also happened to receive the same mass email chain with those invites, so you had to explain to your family, friends, and co-workers that (1) you did not in fact die in a car accident and (2) your funeral is not set for the 15th. (you never played a prank on michael again.)

isagi freaks out. he's calling 911/119, whatever emergency service there is. immediately calls you and nearly breaks down in fear of losing you. when you tell him it was merely a prank, he laughs in relief but internally he's cursing you out with every colorful name in existence.

ness is isagi but even more high-strung. there is no time to call the ambulance in his mind. he's already thundering down the highway looking for the evidence of your car wreck. calls you and screams ballistically into the speaker: "WHERE ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU?" so yeah....don't ever play a prank on ness. it's for your sake, not his.

shidou takes you up one notch and sends a picture of himself in the emergency room with a cast on his leg and an IV drip. this spawn of satan took your message literally and decided to copy you and got into a real car accident. so now you have to take time off work and sign the hospital discharge papers because he listed you as his sole emergency contact.

nagi doesn't give a shit. he's already chronically online, and reo's played pranks on him before. probably texts you an "ok" and then tells you he's run out of toilet paper again, so you need to stop by the store to buy some.

reo matches your energy. he replies with: oh yeah, i've heard of that brand. it's the—*insert sound of trucks colliding and screeches across asphalt* you both had a good laugh after.

ok that's all i have for now. this is going to reach a very niche demographic, but you're welcome.

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badass-queer-couples-battle · 10 days

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Sword gays showdown, losers bracket (Round 1)

Propaganda:

For Hershel Layton:

For a professor of archeology he wins a LOT of swordfights. why is he so skilled at the blade. why do these games include so many sword fighting cutscenes. why has no one else talked about this.

He swordfought what he thought was a vampire while tripping on hallucinogenic gas and won. He also swordfought a crazy guy on top of a giant robot with nothing but a metal pipe. King tbh. As for the gay part: he is bisexual TO ME.

For Jade:

A badass lady in love with a badass princess. Damn RIGHT!

More Jade Propaganda: (mod note: this section is from a reblog and all from one person)

Jumps off the edge of the world to follow her girlfriend, who also jumped off the edge of the world.

Out of the three braincells that the Questies collectively own, Jade always has two. (Willow likes to think he has more, but I’m not so sure.)

So tired. So very tired. Please give this girl a break, a therapist, and some rational peers.

Guys, she is named after a sword. I don’t know if that matters, but….still.

Crazy repressed, and fighting like hell to hold onto her last shred in sanity. You can see in pretty much every scene that she is *this* close to losing it, but never does.

She is “totally, ridiculously, desperately, in love” with Kit.

But not so much that she wouldn’t choose her own dreams. I think that this is a really important part of her character, the way that once she knows what she wants, she goes after it. Whether is it to be a Knight if Galladorn, to rejoin her family, or to pursue the butch princess who gives new meaning the concept of a dumbass, Kit.

THE PINING! Oh my word, the PINING!

She sometimes just decides that it would be more fun to smash a troll’s head in with her pommel, instead of using her blade, and I appreciate that in a character.

She is a protector- through and through.

She is the archetype of the devoted knight, and does it SO well!

We only got 8 episodes of Jade, but she has completely re-wired my brain. I haven’t seen the dragon prince, which is now on my list, and I am thrilled to learn all about this disabled butch badass. However, I wanted to offer a bit more propaganda for my girl, Jade.

#jade claymore #hershel layton #professor layton #willow #willow 2022 #willow tv series #sword gays showdown

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asteriismos · 2 years

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closer - ben hargreeves

PAIRING ◆ sparrow!ben hargreeves x umbrella!reader

WARNING(S) ◆ SMUT, rough sex, choking, me losing my sanity, unedited, piv sex, unprotected sex, fingering,

SUMMARY ◆ instead of luther getting held hostage by the sparrows, it’s you, and you and ben do not get along. hate sex basically.

WORDS ◆ 3.9k

NOTE ◆ . . . i have nothing to say tbh. this is justified in every way.

»»————-　✼　————-««

It was unlike you to get yourself into these types of situations.

If anything, you thought that you were one of the more responsible members of The Umbrella Academy. You didn’t get yourself into harm's way like your other siblings did and you were notorious for being the one with your head on your shoulders, even throughout the mess of the apocalypse – or both of them, for that matter, as your family seemed to be stuck in the sticky situation of constantly saving the world.

You thought that you were finally done with all of this. Five had finally figured out a way to get you all back into the future, away from Dallas, and back to the way that things were supposed to be without the apocalypse. You could finally go back to your normal life and maybe make something of yourself. But things were never that easy and when your family made their way back to the future and back to your childhood home, you were met with the same house, the same absent father, but a different group of superheroes. As if you thought your father couldn’t get any worse, he hated you so much in Dallas that he adopted a whole other group of children, and renamed them The Sparrow Academy. And to make matters even worse, they were a bunch of assholes.

Your siblings and you had gotten beaten to a pulp by them less than a day ago, and no one seemed to be doing anything productive. Allison wanted to get back to her family, Diego wanted to start a new life, and Five seemed like he was ready to leave and start his so-called ‘retirement.’ And to be honest, that didn’t sound half bad. You thought that maybe it was time you did the same thing, since there seemed to be nothing wrong anymore.

And that’s exactly what you tried to do, you really tried. You were minding your own business, walking through Central Park when you were taken by The Sparrow Academy. You couldn’t put up much of a fight either, since that floating cube of whatever (who they called Christopher, but you were still confused as to how it was an actual person) was able to lift you up and the one who looked like Ben but wasn’t actually Ben put his foot straight to your face, knocking you unconscious. That had been three days ago, and since then, you weren’t really being treated like a hostage – but you were one, in your own home. Well . . . was it your own home if you technically don’t exist in this timeline? Seemed like a question you should ask Five, if he was here with you.

The Sparrows weren’t actually half bad. In some ways, they reminded you of your own family. They grew up the same way as you, technically, but they didn’t rebel against your father like you had. They liked being the center of attention of the city and they liked being a part of a team. You could respect that, if only all of them were nice like Sloane or Alphonso and not the raging cunt that Ben was.

It was hard for you to believe that Ben in this timeline was such an ass, because the Ben that you knew was nothing like that. He was kind, always there for everyone, and the glue that really held the whole family together. There was always the notion that if Ben hadn’t died, there was a chance that the Umbrella Academy would still be together and things wouldn’t have gotten so messed up. But the Ben in this timeline wanted nothing to do with you, and he was an overzealous ass that only cared about himself, it seemed like sometimes he didn't really even care about his own family. And he wanted nothing to do with you, but always made it a point to give you a hard time, no matter what you did, he always found a way to be a bitch to you.

He had yet to show up to dinner, where you're at the table despite being a hostage. Oh well, it was better than being locked in some type of cellar handcuffed. And then you heard the door open and it took everything in you not to groan out, and instead you rolled your eyes to yourself and waited for him to sit down next to you, which he always did. Ben found every way to get on your nerves.

Ben walked over in his usual fashion, which you deemed as strutting, but others didn’t see the humor in it. Maybe it was just because every time he was even in the same room as you, you felt the need to insult something about him, you had to keep him grounded, right?

“Good evening, Y/N.”

“Oh, it was,” you said to him, glancing in his direction and then instantly going back to your food. from the corner of your eye you could see as his face feigned hurt, then he immediately went to talk with Fei about some mission that Reginald had assigned them on a while ago. It was something that they had been working on before you and your family had shown up and ‘ruined everything’ as Ben liked to say. You wanted to quip that you found it funny that he still listened to the orders of his father, being old enough to go on his own and take lead if he wanted to, but you didn’t want to get into a fight at the moment. Your position here was complicated anyways.

Dinner was, for the most part, uneventful. The only thing that happened was Ben threatening to throw his chicken at you because you rolled your eyes at one of his comments, which didn’t end up happening because Sloane gave him that look and a stern ‘Ben.’

For the rest of the night you retired to your rooms, telling your captors that you would meet them in the morning, as if you had a choice on that matter.

You sat at the edge of your bed, kicking off your shoes and stretching your arms up. You set your phone (that seemed to not work no matter how many times you called your family to come and get you) down on the small nightstand you had and got dressed in something more comfortable for sleeping. The sun was fully down now, and the only thing that lit up your room was the tall lamp in the corner of your room and the distant lights of other buildings through your windows.

As you slipped into bed under the covers, you allowed your mind to wander. First, to your family, where you silently went over the details in your head to make sure you had them all memorized for when you came back to them and could tell them all you learned from being in the same home as your newfound enemies. Or were they frenemies? And the more you pondered, the more they landed on Ben.

It was strange, thinking of him. Typically you would be cringing at anything that included anything to do with Ben Hargreeves, but this time you allowed your mind to expand instead of bringing up the protective barriers like you always did. The calming effect of finally not clouding all your judgment with anger was almost enough to lull you to sleep.

That was until you heard a whisper, just the faintest, tiniest little sound that you were almost uncertain that you had even heard anything at all.

Your eyes stayed closed. There was a presence there, just on the outer barriers of your mind. There was silence, complete and utter silence and you were about to call it a night when-

You’re thinking about Ben?

You jolted up to sit, eyes snapping open and your head getting dizzy from the sudden shift in position. It was Fei’s voice, clear as day in your mind, that was what you were hearing. You heard the noise of a crow cawing from the corner of your room and your head turned, seeing that you were face to face with one of Fei’s crows, a bright, glowy aura presenting off of it. You knew that she was powerful, and she definitely could sense that you were thinking of Ben. The crow cocked its head to the side and you scowled.

And the worst thing was that she was still there. You could feel it. you put your hands on either side of your head and closed your eyes, opening your mouth and saying, “I was not.”

It was the weakest lie you had ever made in your life.

You’re such a liar, Fei chided. you could practically feel her smirk. Just admit it.

You groaned to yourself, feeling a bead of sweat drop down your face from the focus. “Goodnight, Fei,” you said to the crow and then reached to the bedside table and threw a book at the crow, which made it squawk and disappear into thin air.

Now you were wide awake, you were sure that there was no way you could get any sleep after that. You weren’t even angry at yourself for doing that, but more embarrassed that your thoughts had been exposed to Fei and there was no way that Ben wouldn’t find out - because you were thinking about him and he would take the opportunity to use it against you. You knew there was no way you were getting out of this tomorrow.

You busied yourself by looking through the room that they had given you, seeing if you could find any lore or information that would be of use, trying your best to basically bore yourself to the brink of sleep. And just as you thought it was beginning to work, you heard a knock on your door. Glancing at the clock, you saw that it was a little bit past midnight. Who the hell was at your door at this hour?

For a moment you stilled, thinking that perhaps it was a mistake and they would leave then you could finally try and sleep, but there was again another knock a few moments later. You finally stood up and made your way to the door, opening it and being greeted by none other than Ben. He was dressed in his comfort clothes and his hair was messy, like he had been awake for way too long.

He didn’t give you any time to say anything, instead pushing his way past you into your room. Your eyes widened and you took a peek outside into the halls to make sure that no one saw that. Luckily, the halls were dead. Closing your door and turning the lock, you faced him and stood there deadpanned, waiting for some kind of explanation.

“Well, don’t act all happy to see me,” he said sarcastically.

You laughed. “I'm not. What are you doing here? Do you understand what could happen if someone sees you and me in my bedroom alone?” There would be rumors spreading like wildfire, something that you definitely didn’t need to be confronted by the Sparrows or your own family. You hated to admit that you knew the exact reason he was here - because Fei seemed to spare no time in telling her brother what she had witnessed. But that still begged the question as to why he cared so much about it in the first place.

Ben rolled his eyes, running a hand through his hair. You took a second to look him over, seeing that the black shirt he was wearing was sheer enough for you to know what he was hiding under it. You shuddered, coming to your senses again and frowning. “You were thinking about me, and I think I deserve an explanation,” Ben told you, shrugging his large shoulders and cocking an eyebrow up. “You were thinking so loud. At least, that’s what my sister tells me. You know you should learn to know when crows are in the room. She’s always watching”

“I wasn’t trying to, I was trying to go to sleep.” you countered.

“You think of me while trying to sleep?”

Damn. Wrong thing to say. and now he was giving you a look, one that you’ve never seen before from him. His eyes were almost dark, filled with lust. You felt like your fucking legs were going to give out at the look that he was giving you. it was enough to make your face heat up and clear your throat, not having anything else to say, there really wasn’t anything to defend yourself with.

And it all happened so fast. One second you were both standing there, staring into each other’s eyes, and the next you both were walking towards each other and colliding your lips onto each other. The kiss was hot and searing, instantly making your head go dizzy at the feeling. His lips were soft, albeit a little harsh as his tongue forced its way into your mouth and prodded against your own. Ben’s hand came to grip your jaw, the other on the small of your back.

You attempted to grab onto him, get your hands on him as much as his were on you, but he didn’t let you, using the hand on your back to pull you closer to your bed. You were still kissing, lips starting to swell with the aggressiveness of the kiss.

You still hated him, you had to keep telling yourself that, even though just by kissing he was making you feel so good. No attachments were to be made, this was purely just acting on normal human instincts, right?

Soon enough the backs of your legs were hitting the edge of your bed, Ben pushed you down onto the bed like it was nothing and you were silly putty molding in his hands. He fell on top of you, instead of kissing you on the lips, he went for your neck, one of his hands came and grabbed a handful of your hair and yanked it down, exposing your neck for him.

And he made sure that you would have to somehow cover all the marks he was making, because his teeth seemed to graze over every inch of your skin and lightly nip anywhere he wanted. And you felt dirty because you let him. You would let him do whatever he wanted to do to you.

Ben pulled away from you for a moment to pull his shirt off, discarding it to the floor and helping you to do the same with your shirt. You took a moment to look him over, seeing that his body was practically sculpted and personally handcrafted by the gods themselves, basically knocking the breath out of you. He noticed and you didn’t even care, instead of cringing at his smirk, you found it incredibly hot.

Your hands came to his torso, wrapping your legs around his waist as his mouth began kissing along your chest. You pressed your hips up against him, trying to get friction against your already wet core. Sadly, it wasn’t enough and you were left with whatever he decided to give you.

“Ben, please,” you whispered out towards him, looking down to watch him slip one of your nipples into his mouth, your mouth hung wide open. He came off of it with a ‘pop’ and tilted his head, waiting for you to finish whatever you were going to say.

“Please what?” Ben asked, going back to kissing your chest until he landed on your stomach and started painting masterpieces on your skin.

You made the tiniest sound, feeling sparks send right down below. “Just touch me already,” you stated, putting your hands in his hair and giving the locks of hair he had a good tug. He groaned against him, the vibrations going through your entire body. Ben came up face to face with you, pressing yet another kiss against your lips and pushing down your pants and underwear to the ground. You were now all exposed to him, while he still wore half of his outfit. You pouted at the unfairness but you knew it would get you nowhere now.

He held his hand out in front of you and for a moment you looked at him confused. He sensed this and said blankly, “spit.” You did what he asked and spit into his hand, watching as he took that same hand and touched your clit, feeling the wetness of your spit and your own mixing together. Your mouth hung open as he rubbed his fingers around, experimentally pushing the tip of his finger into you then immediately pulled it out.

You felt yourself almost whine, needing him to give you more or you felt like you would simply die on the spot. Right as you were about to say something, Ben’s other hand came and grasped onto your neck, his fingers digging into your skin and putting pressure on your throat.

Holy fuck.

Typically, you would be angry with how much control Ben had over you right now, but now you were just giving into it, liking that he was being rough with you. It was like a form of argument without the words and you were becoming addicted to it. He was able to make you feel so good and you were completely in his power.

Finally, as if he was putting some pity on you, one finger slipped into you, curling up and hitting a spot inside you that made you moan loudly. The hand choking you became stronger against your neck, his mouth coming to your ear and whispering, “Be quiet, you don’t want anyone to hear us and have this be over too soon, do you?” He was looking for an answer.

You shook your head, understanding that this would not be the best time to get caught by anyone else. You tried your best to keep yourself quiet as one finger pumped in you, the thumb of that same hand pressing against your clit and making your toes curl in pleasure. You could feel how hard he was against you and that made the fire in your stomach ablaze, nearing that edge desperately wanting some kind of release.

As soon as you felt yourself getting higher to that point, his hand came off your throat and his hand stopped moving, your eyes opened up and looked at him, who was busy pulling down his pants and grabbing his cock with his hand.

It didn’t take long for him to position himself at your entrance, his tip teasing you by rubbing it up and down against your slit. “Is this what you want?” Ben asked you, his other hand tracing down your body and coming to grip the side of your hip.

You nodded your head fervently. “Yes, Ben, please just fuck me already,” you said to him.

And that was all he needed before he was ramming himself into you, giving you no time to adjust, which was expected. You took the pain that came with his harsh motions, both of his hands gripping your hips with such force that you were sure that you were going to have bruises there in the morning in the shape of his hands.

Ben pounded into you, your voice was already hoarse from his choking and you made as quiet sounds as you could. All that anger you had for each other had bubbled up onto the surface and there was only the desire left, the sickly sweet feeling that you had only dreamed about with Ben in your deepest and darkest fantasies. You could never get tired of this, perhaps you should’ve initiated this sooner, or pushed his buttons so he would take it out on you this way.

“God, you’re so fucking tight,” Ben said in that deep, gravelly voice that basically sent you into orbit the second that it came past your lips. You were so far gone, head empty of any incoherent thought other than Ben Hargreeves. And he continued to move into you shamelessly, neither of you caring about anything in the world except this feeling both of you were chasing.

You were close, you could practically feel the tidal wave starting to form inside your stomach. His pace would not let up, practically tearing into you with all the energy and stamina that he had from years of training. and Ben looked so good like this, his mouth hung open and sweat forming on that tanned brow of his. His muscles worked overtime and flexed with every single movement he made. And his eyes, which were so dark and intense, were staring right into your own, almost like they were telling you to give everything to him.

You were so worked up, that it only took his hand to come down and rub down against your clit, the pressure enough to push you over the edge. It was like a firework went off inside and the scream you wanted to make died in your throat, wishing that you could be as loud as you wanted. Your back arched up and your hips faltered against his own, cumming around him and squeezing, earning a moan from his lips as well. You looked so good coming undone that Ben basically was just sent into fucking orbit with no trace of coming back down.

The second you regained your composure and came down from your own orgasm, you watched as Ben hit his own, hips shifting and releasing right inside of you. You felt him fill you up to the brim, Ben falling down with his chest pressed against your own. The room smelled of sex and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

The only thing was the sounds of your pants throughout the room, and soon enough Ben was pulling out of you. You frowned at the sudden loss of not being filled up anymore by him. Just a second ago you felt like you were on fucking cloud nine and now you were crashing right down to reality at what you had done, and whom you had just done it with.

You propped yourself up on your elbows, watching as Ben pulled his pants back up and started gathering the rest of his clothes in his hand. He was still shirtless, about to go towards the door when you said, “Are you seriously going out there half naked?”

“No one is up this late, trust me,” he said back.

You bit the inside of your cheek. “Well I don’t know about that after all the noises coming from here.”

“That wasn’t me making all the moans,” Ben says in such a casual way you stare daggers back at him. He stifles out a laugh and then turns, leaving the room and closing the door behind him. you can hear his footsteps recede from the door and you are left here alone, thinking about what the hell you had just done.

Once you regained your composure and felt like you could walk, you stood up on your wobbly feet and made your way to your small mirror. the second you got there, you gasped at your appearance in the mirror. Hair all messed up, marks all along your neck along with bruises from his hands, and the bruises on your hips. And to top it all off, you could feel what he left in you trickling down your thigh.

That may have just been the best sex of your life. But you still hated the new Ben Hargreeves…

… right?

#ben hargreeves #ben hargreeves smut #ben hargreeves imagine #ben hargreeves x reader #the sparrow academy #The Umbrella Academy #the umbrella academy imagines #the umbrella academy fanfiction #luther hargreeves #Allison Hargreeves #five hargreeves #diego hargreeves #viktor hargreeves #klaus hargreeves

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astrologicalsstuff · 1 year

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Astrology observations

Another one I think this is 3

Back at it again with the astrology observation again please don’t take my ideas I actually work so hard to come up with these concepts

Capricorn placements are so funny I swear to god. They are underrated in this regard because they don’t make a lot of jokes but they always have the perfectly timed dry humor that is just so funny. They can make giving you a real talk so funny because they just make everything else seem so dumb.

Idfk who said libras were balanced under developed these people are so selfish it’s like whatever their version of balance is…

Virgo women can get really caught up with trying to be the “perfect” or ideal women. They struggle the most with self image issues.

Pisces placements… I’m so sorry and I never speak in absolutes but spirituality community service or art is really the best manifestation. If you have Pisces sun or moon you have to learn to be in service of something or you can lose your sanity pretty easily and you may not be able to tell. Pisces is a karmic sign that has debts to pay. Maybe you don’t have to be the most selfless person because that doesn’t always do Justice but you have to learn to devote yourself to something or you could be susceptible to mentali ilness, alcoholism, depression, or drug abuse.

Scorpio mars anger is so real my little sister has this and she always bring up shit from when we were 4 in arguments. I’m 20…

Cancer taurus and Scorpio mars hold onto shit for WAY TOO LONG

Gemini + Virgo big three = a know it all

Even if they don’t know they act like they do

Aries moons are the true babies of the zodiac watch them react when something doesn’t go their way(esp. if mars is debilitated)

Virgo mercuries can be so… confused? I know they get the credit for being smart and I don’t doubt they are but when it comes to real world experiences. I don’t wanna sound mean but this placement can be so clueless. I think they get really fixated on details that they can miss quite a bit.

Venus debilitation mostly just has to do with self esteem and how it relates to your relationships. These people are so attractive tbh.

10th house ruler in the 8th has so much potential for success.

Pisces moons roll their eyes or look up when they’re lying thank me later. (Women)

Planets at home can sometimes just be way too much cancer moons are overly sensitive Virgo mercuries can be fixated on minute details venus in Taurus will never get over their person.

I don’t know why Pisces is exalted in the Venus position, they are the people always getting walked all over in relationships because they love their partners so much.

Sagittarius and Pisces moons escapism😔

Scorpio Mercury likes to be exclusive. In friend groups they like to make sure people know that they’re lucky to be in this closed circle with them. (ESP. W libra sun/placements)

Water sign moons (under developed) can be so untrustworthy tbh. They’re on your side till you piss them off then they use your vulnerabilities against them. This is mostly true for cancer and scorpio.

I have so many Venus conjunct mars in scorpio in my life and let me tell you👏👏THESE👏👏PEOPLE👏👏 GET 👏👏WHAT 👏👏THEY WANT👏👏

Not in a malicious way it’s just they’re gunna do what they wanna do.

With sag sun though🫣 very sweet people but when they’re not paying attention to your needs you gotta step it up if you want them to be held accountable.

Libra moons are annoying asf cause how u always get me to agree w u. Like these people are so charming it’s annoying.

Taurus moons are the best and there’s no competition

Gemini Mercury is very good at talking and listening but Mercury in the 3rd are the really talkative ones.

Check aspects to your 10th house ruler to discover your relationship with your father.

If you have planets in the 8th house im sorry there’s always some sort of intensity there but tbh as a person with 8th house placements I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Mercury placements are usually so thin… and Mercury risings can have problems with eating.

Libra risings are so soft spoken. Even when they’re yelling it’s like 🎶🎵🎶

#astrology #astro placements #astro observations #astro chart #love astrology #astroblr #venus #virgo #virgo mercury

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