#like. to be clear also: i don't think the fact that amy didn't want kids and really didn't have a choice in giving birth to river
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Hiiiii! So, a few days ago you were talking about the whole thing with Amy, Rory, and River. And when I saw those posts a thought arose in my head and I wish to share it with you.
Since River grew up with Amy and Rory as Mels. And Mels was Amy's best friend do you think that they ever talked about children? Since I know that it can come up when talking with friends, and like... do you think that Amy might've ever expressed whether or not she wanted children?
And if she didn't, that Mels would've had to listen to her mother say that she doesn't want children? The idea is so heartbreaking and sooo interesting.
What do you think about it?
no, no, see, you're so right and this drives me wild.
because, the way i see it, i don't think amy wanted children. she's somewhere on the 'hasn't thought about it' to 'vaguely negative feelings about it happening' range to me, which falls sharply into 'Not Happening Ever Again' post-s6. (specifically, in terms of having a kid herself, even if she could, i really don't think she would. i do love that she and rory end up adopting a kid later, because that does make sense, for amy pond who grew up alone in one universe with her family swallowed by cracks in time before the doctor helped her set it right again, for her to want to make sure another child won't be alone in the world like she was. getting off-track here.)
and that's so. because the first real memory river/mels has of amy is of amy shooting at her. and depending on how well the silence fucked up the rest of her memory, it might be one of the very first memories she has at all. that's how she met her mother, crying for help and getting a bullet instead. her mother tried to kill her, so of course, you have to think. she must have needed to hear that she was wanted, right? even if she was taken away, even if amy shot her, at some point, melody must have been wanted?
river is good at getting people to do what she wants, but she is very, very bad at subtlety. and mels is younger, has less practice, so when she wants to know this, she's just going to ask. blunt and quick, easy enough because amy's used to the way mels will open her mouth and you just have to be ready to roll with what comes out if you want to keep up. it's why they're such good friends (like mother, like daughter.)
they're nine, and mels asks if amy wants kids, and amy wrinkles up her nose and says she won't have time for children, obviously, once her raggedy doctor finally comes back. they're fifteen, and amy and rory dance will they-won't they in a way that makes mels twitchy to watch, and taunting amy about wanting to have rory's babies is a good way to get on her nerves. but amy calls her gross, tells her she's got more life planned than children would leave room for, and besides, imagine her, a mom? it'd be a disaster.
mels does. a lot. she looks at her mother and just sees her best friend instead. she's not even sure what she wishes was there, but. maybe amy's right. and besides. imagine her, a daughter, instead of the ticking time bomb she really is? it'd be a disaster.
they're sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, and on. mels stands on the outside of a love story that births a universe. and her. how do you compete with that? not that she would know, not yet, she hasn't been there. but it doesn't make her feel any less alienated when amy and rory talk in whispers about a half-remembered world that's bled through to this life, about roman soldiers and boxes and the big bang of belief.
all these memories, they never mention children. on amy's wedding day, she's different, not like someone remembering a dream but someone who lived it. rory stands straighter, won't leave her side, and they're both so much older than they were yesterday. maybe now, right? a wedding's as good a time as any to decide you want kids.
mels not being at amy & rory's wedding is such an obvious lazy way of them trying to explain why they totally didn't just throw this plot twist together at the last minute that i'm not even going to acknowledge it. of course she was at their wedding. she's their best friend. there's too many people around the doctor, and she wasn't ready today of all days, so despite this horrible burning need under her skin to strike, she stays her hand. doesn't let him dance with her because she might just tear his throat out if he gets too close. stays with amy and rory as the maid of honor should. she must have been there for the awkward questions that always gets asked, 'so, any plans for a baby?' 'when am i getting grandkids?' 'oh, you two are going to have gorgeous children together.' standing a few feet from amy in her wedding dress and watching her mother tense and grit her teeth and brush off the questions. watching her look nervously at rory but never ask if he means it when his mom asks him if he'd prefer a son or a daughter, and rory answers 'either one, some day, not anytime soon.'
god i'm just going on and on, aren't i. but really, what's it like to know that amy never changed her mind. the next time she sees them, she's already been born and stolen. i don't like let's kill hitler for. so many reasons. but there is something compelling about how recklessly river lashes out at the world, at the doctor. even her sacrifice at the end is almost suicidal, throwing all her regenerations into this man without knowing if that will even work or if it might kill her to do it. but it makes more sense in the context of someone who has reached the end of a long, long wait for some kind of indication, any kind, that her mother wanted to have her. and finally been told, no. she didn't choose melody.
#like. to be clear also: i don't think the fact that amy didn't want kids and really didn't have a choice in giving birth to river#means that she wouldn't love river. i think it would make their relationship Complicated but i do think amy loves her. so much.#that's her daughter but it's also her best friend.#but like. god. to spend your whole childhood hoping you'll hear about some little glimmer of yourself.#a dream. a passing mention. a debate on baby names. anything. and to hear nothing.#and river is. like. she is really really bad at relationships right? we know this.#the person she's closest to is the doctor and she spends most of her life believing *he doesn't even love her*.#we're talking about someone whose base assumption about everyone is that they will try to hurt her at some point so she should always keep#one hand armed.#and her mother. didn't choose to have her. didn't have that choice. that has to fuck her up a little.#(and also serve as proof that river is. so so bad at knowing when she is loved. because maybe amy didn't choose to have her but she named#melody pond after mels her best friend. she has been choosing river every day for the past however many years since mels decided to come#here and be near her mom and dad even if only as kids. but river still can't see it.#and. given the nature of how the ponds disappear from her life. and we never get any closure about them and river.#you have to wonder if she ever did. river song do you know your mother loves you?#having the melody-as-river reveal be so close to the end of the season and then getting rid of amy & rory before they can actually do#anything with the three of them as a messed up little family unit is the show's biggest crime. because i don't know! i don't know if river#knew her parents loved her! i don't know if she *ever* came to terms with how she was born and how they didn't need to choose her then to#choose her now! i don't know if river ever really felt comfortable thinking of them as her parents rather than her friends?#according to the transcripts. river calls amy 'mother' twice. (and 'mummy' once jokingly.) she calls rory 'father' once. and 'dad' in angel#in manhattan. and it just. it drives insane right? it's almost weirdly formal. like the words aren't right but she knows she should say the#and. and. i don't think i'm ever going to get over river song.#i think that's the takeaway here.#ask#doctor who#river song#amy pond#rory williams
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Desert Rose
Chapter 16 ~ It ain't like that
✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Rose
✧ Era : Season 2
✧ Word Count : 3.6k
In this chapter ~ After a day full of awkward tension within the group and an even more awkward dinner, Rose finds herself trailing back up towards where Daryl is recovering, in hopes to find some kind of escape. But not even she could deny that she enjoyed his company and presence more than she ever imagined.
Walking down the porch steps, my eyes scanned around the area to see if I could spot Carl anywhere. But from what I could see he wasn't anywhere out in the open. I then caught sight of Dale sitting nearby in one of his chairs just outside of the RV reading a book, his glasses set on the tip of his nose.
I let out a sigh, swallowing my embarrassment thickly before walking up to him. I could feel the uncomfortable conversation from all the way over here about what he witnessed me do, but we both had to get over it some way I guess.
"Hey, have you seen Carl? I'm supposed to take him shooting." I explained.
He just nodded his head back towards the RV, not taking his eyes off the page. My eyes narrowed as I stood there for a moment, debating if I should say something else about the obvious tension or not. I felt like I had every good reason to yell at Andrea because what she did was stupid, and everyone knew how fast she could've killed Daryl. I didn't expect Dale to necessarily take my side, but I also wasn't expecting him to ignore me.
"You're mad at me for what I did." I stated.
His eyes finally panned up towards me slowly, "I'm not mad, but I sure as hell didn't expect that from you Rose." he snapped.
"Well, what did you expect me to do?" I asked with a scoff, "Just sit there and let Andrea think she can get away with bloody murder?"
The man did nothing but stare at me, not having a good enough response to say out loud, though he wanted to defend her.
"Look, I know you're close with her, but you have to admit she doesn't listen for anything, and she thinks she can just do whatever she wants. I wanted to make it clear that she isn't going to get away with that type of shit anymore. Not as long as I'm around."
The man licked his lips in annoyance, taking his reading glasses of to look towards me with a tilted head, "The message is fair, but it's the way you said it to her and how you got physical. That's what I don't like."
"Heat of the moment." I muttered with a shrug.
"You have to understand that she's going through a hard time right now. You were there when she lost Amy and when she wanted to stay behind at the CDC, you witnessed those things." he expressed with gesturing hands.
"Dale, I understand that okay? But that doesn't give her a free pass to do whatever she wants, especially when it involves hurting other people. She didn't listen, simple as that, and Daryl almost lost his life because of it."
"Why are you so concerned about Daryl?" he then asked suddenly.
"You're not?" I clapped back.
"I am," he assured, "But I didn't tackle Andrea and scream at her because of her mistake." he replied.
"Dale," I said sternly, "That's not the point. The point is she fucked up and I handled it. I'm sorry if what I did upset you, but I'm sure as hell not sorry for doing it."
He opened his mouth to say something in return, but I was already halfway in the RV before he had the chance to utter another word. I don't know why he brought up Daryl like that, but the fact that he did, trying to take the conversation in a whole different direction, really pissed me off.
Carl was sitting down at the table when I walked in, reading a comic book quietly to himself. I didn't know how much of the conversation he heard, but to me it didn't matter. I just tried my best to put on a fake smile and pretend like the argument didn't happen.
"Hey kid, you ready to go practice?" I asked him.
He smiled and nodded his head, placing his book down to stand up and leave. We then walked out of the RV and made our way over to Rick to let him know we were heading out, and when he gave us the okay, we headed towards the trees. Trying to find a safe place to practice where the shots couldn't be heard anywhere near the farm.
My mind was elsewhere as we walked side by side, not being able to shake the conversation Dale and I had. I even felt myself began to question if I was truly in the wrong, if I truly was a bit too harsh. But in the end I knew I wasn't.
Maybe I had taken it a bit too far, but I wanted her to actually hear me. That, and the anger I felt seemed to have gotten the best of me, though it still didn't mean I regretted a thing.
"I heard your fight with Dale." Carl said suddenly.
I sighed with my eyes closed, "It wasn't a fight, it was just... a disagreement...about something I did earlier."
"Everyone kind of knows know," he replied. "What you did to Andrea I mean."
"Great." I deadpanned.
"I don't think it's bad. I think you were just trying to protect Daryl, and so does everyone else... plus I don't really like Andrea she's kind of mean to me." he said.
A slow smile creeped onto my face, "Yeah? Well, next time she's mean to you tell me, I'll put her on her ass again." I said, nudging my arm with his.
He smiled and nodded as we continued to walk through the woods.
We had been practicing for around two hours and the sun was starting to set, so we started to wrap it up and walk back to the farm. The kid was actually a pretty good shot and picked up fast on how to aim. I was proud of him, and I knew his dad would be too once the kid told him every single detail. He was practically skipping down the dirt path, too excited to tell everyone about the things he had accomplished.
The only thing we needed to do now was to get him some moving targets. Make it a little more challenging for him so he had something even better to brag about.
Once the house began to come into view, the second Carl spotted Rick, he rushed towards him. His mouth ran constantly as he told him everything and how much fun he seemed to have. Rick nodded listened to his son before looking up at me and smiling silently in appreciation.
I only chimed in once to genuinely tell him how well he did and how much of a natural he was when it came to this. He even knew how to hold the gun before I even got the chance to show him myself. But I guess judging by who his dad is, it wasn't too big of a surprise.
Once Carl ran inside to tell his mom as well, Rick came up next to me, "Thank you for taking him out there, I can tell he had a lot of fun." he said with a smile, "Are you sure you were okay with taking him? You're still injured, you know."
I smiled and shook my head, "No, I'm okay don't worry. I bounce back pretty quick."
He nodded and wrapped an arm around me as we made our way back to the house, the smell of the freshly cooked food coming out of the open windows.
A few women from our group decided to get together and help make a giant dinner for Hershel and his family. A simple thank you for letting us stay on their land for so long, showing them how much we truly appreciated it.
We all began to gather around with plates full of food in the dining room, sitting myself down in the space between Glenn and Rick at the giant table.
Though I soon came to realize only after a few seconds that I could easily cut the tension in here with a knife. Everyone was completely silent as we ate, the only sound being the utensils against the plates, and I didn't fail to notice the glares I was receiving from Shane for absolutely no reason.
He stared at me through his tired lids, chewing his food aggressively as if I had shit in the food he was eating. His eyes seemed darker and dead, making me grow slightly uncomfortable in my seat as I shifted around.
My eyes then locked with Andrea's as she looked at me sadly, almost apologetically, with Dale right next to her giving me the same expression. I clenched my teeth together harshly, wanting to just get away from the six watchful eyes that burned into my skin.
Glenn pushed his food around on his plate awkwardly, "So... does anyone know how to play guitar?" he asked out of the blue, "I saw one in here earlier."
I could tell how desperately he was trying to break the awful awkward silence, and though everyone's attention was turned to him as he spoke, no one answered.
But something else had to have happened while I was out with Carl, there's no way this was all because of what I did a few hours ago with Andrea. I then saw Hershel giving Rick some kind of glare, and that's all I needed to see to know that something happened between them as well. I'm just glad it wasn't all pinned on me at least.
"Oh come on, someone has to know how to play." Glenn tried again with somewhat of a hopeful smile.
I did. But I sure as hell wasn't going to say anything about it right now.
"...Otis did." Patricia finally muttered sadly.
With a nod I got up, not being able to take the tension anymore, along with the three people continuing to bore holes into my head. To find some kind of excuse, I announced quietly that I would take a plate of food up to Daryl who was still resting in bed before leaving the room in a hurry.
I passed Carol on my way to the kitchen and stopped her for a moment, "Hey, if I were you, I would walk back into that room really slow." I advised.
She looked at me and nodded, smiling slightly to tell me she knew exactly what I was talking about.
I then filled another plate and made my way up slowly to Daryl's room. I softly knocked on the wooden door and waited until I heard his voice of approval before making my way in. Opening the door, I saw Daryl was sitting up against the bed frame with a book in his hand, looking a lot better than he did just a few hours ago.
"Hey, what are you reading?" I asked him as I made my way over to sit in the chair from earlier.
He looked at me with slightly wide eyes before shaking his head, "Nothin..." he muttered, attempting to hide the book under the covers.
My eyes narrowed at him in suspicion, glancing briefly at the cover before he could hide it completely and gasped dramatically. It was one of the books I took from the CDC.
"Thief." I scolded.
"Gimme a break, m' bored out of my mind in here."he said, rolling his eyes.
"Okay, fine," I caved, "But I want that back when you're done."
He glanced up at me with a smile, nodding, "Yes ma'am." he said deeply.
One of my eyebrows pulled up and I scoffed dismissively, but I swear if the room had been quieter, he would probably be able to hear my heart hammering in my chest. Everything about that was perfect. The words, the way he said it, the way he sounded when he said it, good God.
When I finally glanced back up after a few seconds I saw him smirking at me, practically seeing right through me as I rolled my eyes in response.
"I brought you some food." I then said, changing the subject.
"Thanks." he responded, taking the plate from me and settling it in his lap.
We sat there in comfortable silence for a few minutes as he ate, though I scanned his face briefly and felt myself frown a bit. Even though he was looking a little better, I could tell he hadn't slept, the darker bags under his eyes being a dead giveaway. Though I couldn't remember the last time he had actually gotten a good night's sleep.
He then broke the silence, "How'd the practice with Carl go?"
"Oh, it was actually really good. The kids actually a pretty good shot, he's a natural." I replied.
He glanced up at me, "Or maybe it's just cause he's gotta good teacher."
I tilted my head at him, but right as I was about to say something else, there was a knock at the door, Carol walking in only a moment later. She looked a little apologetic as she entered the room, seeing she was interrupting something, but I just smiled at her to show her it was just fine.
"Sorry," she cringed, "Just came in here to ask how you're feeling." she spoke to Daryl.
"Like I've been shot." he responded and gave me a side glance with a smirk, repeating the words I told him a few days ago.
She just nodded in understanding, "I just wanted to say thank you for the things you did today. You did more for my little girl, then her own daddy ever did in her whole life."
He scoffed with a shake of his head as he pushed the food around on his plate, "Rick or Shane would've done the same thing. Ain't nothin."
"Yeah...but you're every bit as good as them. Every bit." she said.
Then she leaned over and placed a kiss on the side of his head, mindful around the bandage, and my heart warmed a little at the sight. I thought it was really sweet that the two of them were talking more and becoming closer, even if the circumstances weren't the greatest.
But her actions made Daryl slightly uncomfortable however, and I pressed my lips together as I tried not to laugh at the scrunched up look on his face. She then gave me another small smile before turning and silently leaving the room, shutting the door silently. It was then and only then I finally let out a quiet laugh, to which I received a glare in return.
"What are you laughin at?" he annoyedly asked me.
I just smiled sweetly, before puckering up my lips and beginning to make kissy noises at him. He sighed and rolled his eyes dramatically before he started to eat his food again.
He let out a huff, "Stop, it ain't even like that." he said.
"Oh, it's not?" I asked sarcastically.
"It ain't. Not at all." he mumbled seriously.
Even after hearing that, I still made more kissy noises towards him, really dramatically too before he got fed up after a few more seconds, "Y'know what, get out. I don't want you here no more."
"No, no," I laughed, "Please don't make me go back down there. I would rather kill myself with one of Hershel's fancy forks then go back down there."
He chuckled, "That bad huh?"
"Horrifying," I said, "Everyone is in there eating in painfully awkward silence and there's this weird tension everywhere. Pretty please don't kick me out."
He looked at me for another moment, noticing how desperate I became as I looked at him with big eyes, "Fine. But you quit teasin me bout what just happened. It ain't like that."
"Why do you care so much about what I think Daryl Dixon?" I asked.
He looked back at me mid bite, and I could see his cheeks started to turn red at just the simple use of his name. I loved how easy it was to embarrass him, but I didn't really know why this particular thing would make him blush. I knew it wasn't about Carol, I could tell he didn't have feelings for her, though I liked teasing him. But I didn't understand why he had become so flustered now.
"I don't." he finally seemed to answer after a few painfully long seconds.
He does.
"Okay." I said simply with a smile on my face.
He stared at me for a few more seconds before beginning to eat again. I sat there and let my mind wander to random things as he finished everything left on his plate.
Suddenly I remembered that Hershel wanted me out of the house as soon as I was feeling up to leaving, and I completely understood why. I mean there were only so many rooms, and I didn't want to be in there longer than I had to. He had already helped me out so much, I didn't want to be a burden, and it was the least I could do after he saved my ass. But Daryl noticed quickly that I got quiet and started spacing off.
"What'cha thinkin bout?" he asked me.
I shrugged, "Hershel just wants me out of the house by tonight I think, because I'm feeling better. I was just thinking about where I would stay."
He nodded in understanding as I began to ramble my thoughts, "It's too crowded in the RV and after my talk with Dale, I wouldn't want to go in there anyway. I might just sleep-"
"Ya can stay in my tent." he interrupted.
I raised my eyebrows, "Really?"
I noticed he swallowed thickly before responding, "I mean...we've shared a tent before, it's no big deal."
"That's true...are you sure?" I asked.
"M' sure."
I slowly nodded, "Okay, thanks," I smiled, "But I guess you have to stay in here for the next few days, huh?"
"M' already goin crazy in here, I don't think it'll last that long." he joked.
I let out a small laugh, "Yeah, probably not. Well, I'm gonna go so you can get some sleep, but here, I'll take your plate." I offered.
He met my extended hands in the middle, passing the dish over towards me as his hands brushed against my own.
"I'll see you tomorrow." I smiled, turning to make my way towards the door.
"See ya tomorrow." he said.
I left his room and shut the door quietly behind me, before walking back downstairs, passed the few other rooms. The truth was I really wasn't helping myself at all by spending even more time with Daryl. Don't get me wrong I wanted to, but I needed these feelings for him to go away at some point and sharing a tent with him wouldn't exactly help that. But where else was I supposed to stay?
Shaking my head, I made my way down the stairs and into the kitchen to see Beth standing by the sink washing the dishes from tonight. Her back was facing me as she had a stack still left to do, scrubbing away the stains the food left behind.
"Hey," I greeted before placing the plate next to the sink, "Do you want any help, hon?" I asked her.
She shook her head politely, "No it's okay, I got it." she assured with a smile, "Part of my chores dad still makes us do."
I nodded in understanding, turning to walk away when her voice stopped me. "Oh, hey Rose? Glenn mentioned at dinner to me after you left, that you like to sing." she stated.
I froze, "Well, I'll have to make sure to kill him for saying that later." I joked.
She laughed, "Well, my point is you like music and things like that, do you know how to play the guitar?"
"Um, yeah just a little, why do you ask?" I replied.
"Well, I was just wondering if you um... could maybe teach me?" she asked shyly.
"Oh yeah, yeah sure I can teach you." I said with no hesitation.
Beth seemed like such a sweet soul and spending more time with her wouldn't be an issue at all. Plus, I wanted to find something to do for her after she looked out for me right after I was shot; Daryl only telling me about it briefly. But I thought this was the perfect way to thank her.
"Really?" she asked, shocked.
"Yeah, it sounds like fun. We'll talk more about it tomorrow, okay?"
"Okay!" she exclaimed and ran up to give me a hug. I was taken back for a second before wrapping my arms around her as well.
She smiled at me brightly in silent thanks before going back to doing the dishes, and I left to go get my things and move them into Daryl's tent.
After I was done gathering everything up from the room I was previously staying in, I made my way out to his tent to get some sleep. But out of the corner of my eye I saw two figures having a hushed yet heated discussion by the barn. When I squinted my eyes a bit I saw that it was Glenn and Maggie, and Glenn seemed to be silently freaking out about something, flailing his hands in the air, while she was trying to quietly calm him down.
My eyes widened at the dramatic scene, but I just kept walking, silently deciding to not get involved at the moment. Plus, I was too tired to care and the painkillers I took earlier were starting to wear off, my side beginning to hurt a lot more that they were out of my system. My eyes grew too heavy and I was in too much pain to give a shit right now.
Once I found Daryl's tent, I dropped my stuff down on the left side and made myself comfortable on the sleeping back. I maneuvered on my back to look up at the ceiling of the tent, my eyelids fluttering closed.
The last thing I could hear right before I passed out, were Glenn and Maggie growing louder as they argued about walkers. But then again, it was probably just a dream.
~ Thanks for reading!
#daryl dixon#daryl dixon fanfiction#daryl x reader#daryl dixon x reader#daryl dixon x oc#daryl dixon twd#daryl dixon the walking dead#daryl fanfiction#the walking dead fanfiction#the walking dead daryl#the walking dead#twd#twd daryl dixon#twd fanfiction#twd daryl#norman reedus#norman reedus fanfiction#norman reedus x reader#desert rose#daryl twd#daryl dixon x original character#daryl dixon x female reader
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As much as I’m a Sam lover, my biggest gripe with the fandom is when people try to make it seem like it was Dean’s fault for Sam not liking Benny. 😭😭
Because okay, Sam is allowed to be hurt by Amy dying, she saved his life and maybe he feels like he owed her something. HOWEVER, that doesn’t change the fact that she was willingly killing people in an attempts to save her son.
Not only that, but she was intentionally going after people she knew the cops were least likely to investigate (lower class people, addicts, drug dealers, etc.) Which is also another gripe I have, because the fandom tries to play down Amy’s killings with “But she was only killing criminals!” which just REEKS of classism, and I hate to be the person who ties their irl experiences with the show, but as someone who has relatives who struggle/struggled with addiction, it just gives me the ick when people try to justify Amy’s choice of victims.
And then there’s the fact of Amy and Benny are just not comparable companions in my eyes. Sam met Amy when they were both kids, and while he was grateful to her for saving his life, there were no attempts made on either end to keep up some form of communication, which in my opinion was very possible, because we’ve seen the boys regularly keep track of people who otherwise would be considered “off the grid”.
Dean and Benny were together for about a year, solely relying on only each other for at the very least a few weeks before they found Castiel, learning to read the others movements during a fight with other inhabitants of Purgatory, and it was made very clear in the show that the pair of them understood Purgatory and shared a bond like no other character had. Even when it was agreed that they should keep communication limited, Dean STILL made the effort to go after Benny and help him out with his nest + came to his aid after the machete fight, and he refused to leave even after Benny said he was okay.
To me those relationships aren’t even remotely comparable. And again not saying that Sam couldn’t be upset about Amy, but the way he chose to in turn mistrust Benny to the point of almost getting him AND his great granddaughter Elizabeth killed was just 😮💨 Especially when Sam is usually all for monster redemption? That’s just something I can never excuse no matter how much I love Sam.
I totally agree.
Benny and Amy are simply not comparable. Sam makes that comparison because he's angry and jealous and he wants to lash out, but in the same conversation, Dean also points at Sam's own inconsistent morals: they just let Kate the werewolf go a few episodes before and now Sam wants Benny dead with no proof of wrong doing—whereas Amy willfully killed people on purpose and pre-meditated. Sam caught her in the act, and she easily admitted she did it and felt absolutely zero remorse.
Benny became a vampire, sought out redemption, went to Purgatory, and came back holding himself to the same principles he did before he died... and honestly, the idea that he and Amy are the same also reminds me of a "once a criminal/addict always a criminal/addict" mindset—even after over 100 years clean. Someone might want to argue that's exactly how Dean thought of Amy in season 7, but I don't actually think Amy's monsterhood has anything to do with her being a supernatural creature for Dean and everything to do with her actions.
Sam compares her to himself and acts like she's an addict who relapsed, but... that simply is not what happened? It's a completely erroneous comparison. Amy didn't kill people because her addiction became too strong and she had to eat. She didn't eat anyone. It wasn't a relapse in any sense of the word. She killed people because her son was sick and needed fresh brains. She decided his life was more valuable than four other people's lives, and she maintained that perspective during and after—going so far as to run from Sam and find someone else to murder within an hour while still being pursued because she was that cold and unrepentant about what she was doing—that utterly remorseless. She slaughtered humans like cattle. And as you pointed out, her choice of targets reeks of classism, whether that's a commentary on her as a person or society and how the trauma and experience of lower income people and addicts and petty criminals tends to be minimized and dismissed as if any terrible fate that befalls them is "deserved" (or both? Both is good).
There's this very weird thing that happens in fandom where Dean is rewritten as this black and white "supernatural creature bad, human good" character and Sam as the "supernatural creatures can always be good" character, when the reality is much different, and actually reveals much more consistency in Dean's perspective than in Sam.
Sam will rewrite Amy's motivations into something so much more sympathetic than what actually happened and will say killing her would be wrong, then in the same season will kill a kid who was born like three days ago and hasn't killed anyone and is his brother's biological child and then lecture Dean about hesitating. And then he will let a pretty, young, blonde college kid go and a few episodes later wants to kill a vampire who saved his brother's life and who hasn't done anything wrong to Sam's knowledge and will look for any excuse to murder him... and the real reason is that he's enraged by the idea of Dean having someone in his life who has never let him down after Sam chose to abandon him and Cas and Kevin. Sam can't stand being reminded of how he failed. Dean's trust in Benny gives Sam deep feelings of shame.
Deep down, what Sam relates to in Amy and defends about her has nothing to do with her Supernatural status or addiction, and everything to do with the fact that Sam too occasionally flirts with the idea of human sacrifice to save the people he loves—which is a fascinating facet of his character... but fanon prefers a nonsense narrative Sam made up in the heat of the moment, refusing to see how Sam completely rewrote events to suit his feelings. Meanwhile, Dean doesn't even think of killing Amy's son for a second even after he tells Dean he'll come back for revenge because him being a supernatural creature does not make him evil and well—wanting to avenge your mom is fair! He protects Benny, and Lenore, and Bobby John, and Andy, and tries to talk Emma down. What he doesn't have sympathy for, is a woman who kills four people because deep down, at least some humans are nothing more than cattle to her—food for her sick boy.
#mail#thee number one benny stan#season 8 sam#sams moral compass#deans moral compass#amy#benny#emma#kate
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Yes selling ketamine to a vulnerable teenager is bad but Eddie is a worse person for the way he treated Lucas and encouraged Lucas' friends to act.
Even if you hate jocks and hate sports and hate parties and whatever.... it's pretty obvious Lucas didn't have friends outside of Hellfire Club and the fact Eddie scheduled the campaign final specifically on the night of the championship game (he wouldve known the exact date, there wouldve been posters and announcements for months prior and hes not stupid) had to have been on purpose. And if he was trying to make Lucas choose a side? That's fucked up. Let a kid have a hobby outside your realm of interests you gatekeeping prick.
If by chance he genuinely didn't know the date? He could've postponed. People postpone D&D campaigns all the fucking time and it's not like Eddie had a job so he had to worry about scheduling issues. It's clear why you can't just move the date of a championship basketball game for 7 nerds to play a boardgame. No, he did this on purpose. To weed out the jocks in his nerd club. To ostracise Lucas specifically.The way Eddie interacts with Mike and Dustin shows he knows the people in Hellfire Club. He would've known who Lucas is. He wouldve known he loves D&D as much as the rest of them but because he also has a different interest that Eddie dislikes (not even for a moral reason but just because its popular), he's forced out. A group supposedly for outsiders is excluding one of their own for *checks notes* being an outsider? It's fucked up and just plain mean.
And Lucas will never forget that none of his friends NOT A SINGLE ONE went to the championship game that he won.
What say you, Kiki The Maiden?
Okay first of all, a disclaimer: I disagree with about everything you said. I love analyzing things, and everyone has different headcanons and interpretations, but the writers took great efforts to canonically exclude these arguments. I mean if it were like you said, I'd agree, but it canonically isn’t. I rewatched the key scenes for this reply and transcribed the relevant dialogues for the following analysis. Again, this isn't meant to be rude - you asked about my honest opinion, I'm giving it.
1.”Eddie selling ketamine to a vulnerable teenager”:
The scenes:
Eddie bumps into Chrissy in the woods, sees her obvious distress and asks whether she's okay, obviously concerned. From the context, it's obvious Chrissy initiated the deal and made him come to the woods because that's how most drug deals work and Eddie himself is obviously surprised that Chrissy asked for this deal.
They sit down, Eddie takes off his leather jacket and denim vest, his "shield" against the world as the costume designer Amy L. Forsythe calls it, thereby taking off his guard like he did in the D&D sequence. He canonically makes himself less intimidating because since people think he's mean and scary because he's a metalhead who plays D&D and deals drugs, and he wants Chrissy to see she doesn't have to be scared.
Chrissy asks how the deal works, Eddie explains it. His tone is neutral, the little quip about "and for obvious reasons...no receipts" meant to set her a bit at ease by making a little joke. He then proceeds to ask her whether his conditions - 20 dollars for the half - are okay, giving her control over the situation.
Chrissy stays jumpy and distressed. Eddie relates it to himself, takes the drugs away, out of her line of vision, avoids eye contact as he tells her "we don't have to do this. Just say the word and I'll walk away." He's defensive that she sees him as a danger because that's obviously how most people conceive him and it hurts. And since he doesn't want to pressure her into anything, he offers her a way out - no consequences, no questions asked; he puts Chrissy in charge again. He moves to go to show her he means it - and he does mean it, what he sees is that Chrissy obviously doesn't want him there from his POV - until Chrissy says: "No, it's not that. I don't want you to go."
That's where Eddie realizes she isn't scared of him, and does what she asked him to: he stays. He tries to build a connection, a common ground to talk about and set her at ease. He does. He yeets himself off the bench, making her laugh AND giving her more physical space. He's a little self-deprecating in a charming, sweet way (the yeeting off the bench and rolling on the ground, "we actually got a crowd of about five...drunks") and they get along well. Whether you ship them or not doesn't matter: they both are at ease with each other and laugh together, both sides have their guards down and the interaction is genuine and void of any ulterior motives, as the Duffers as well as Grace and Joe confirmed in various interviews.
Eddie offers Chrissy a 25% discount, which reaffirms he's not interested in the money. I mean, yes, he deals because he needs the money, but he wants those deals to be consentual and in Chrissy's case, he likes her. Again, no matter whether you ship them or not, he wants to be nice, no ulterior motives.
Chrissy asks him "do you have anything maybe...stronger?"
Eddie reacts shocked/surprised.
Chrissy is smiling very hard when she steps out of the van and follows Eddie into the trailer, which implies she didn’t seem nervous on the way or anything like that. (she only starts to get nervous/panic when she starts hearing Vecna’s clock - and even then, she doesn’t try to escape the trailer, but she tries to get to Eddie)
At the trailer, Eddie stars searching for the ketamine, which implies - as well as his "no, no, no, I got it. Somewhere." - that he doesn't often sell other things than weed. His confusion as to where he placed the ketamine is genuine.
Chrissy dies. Another thing: even while Chrissy is in her trance, Eddie respects her boundaries. He stays a few feet away, dancing, snapping, clapping to wake her up and only when she doesn't and he realizes she's in actual danger from something, he crosses into her personal space to grab her shoulders and as a last resort pat her cheeks to wake her up. If we compare the whole scene with that of Eddie and Steve in the UD, we can see the glaring contrast: Eddie sways in and out of Steve's personal space.
Ketamine isn’t classified as a hard drug, btw; its risk of causing addiction/dependency is as high or low as that of weed, and the risk of a deadly overdose is so low there’s not even a statistic for it.
Yes, Eddie sells ketamine to a vulnerable teenager (bear in mind that Chrissy is canonically 18 and Eddie is 20, there is no power imbalance, they're both seniors) - but he doesn't know Chrissy is vulnerable. We, the audience, know it, because we see Chrissy's POV, her ed, and we see her getting targeted by Vecna and we even get a glimpse at the abuse she suffers through her mother.
Eddie, from his POV sees: Chrissy Cunningham, the Queen of Hawkins High, from a good middle class/upper middle class family, the most popular girl of school, on top of the hierarchy. He doesn't know she even has struggles. We see the picture Chrissy paints for everyone is a perfect one (the little kiss she blows Jason at the Pep Rally symbolizes that). For all he knows, Chrissy is the Queen of Hawkins High who wants to be a bit rebellious before her graduation in one and a half months, the good girl being nervous about her first drug deal, or she’s simply having a bad day. The last time they canonically interacted was in middle school, and Eddie doesn’t know her. He doesn’t know how she usually acts or how to tell that she’s vulnerable.
Chrissy asks him to do the deal in the woods, Chrissy is the one who tells him she doesn't want him to go vehemently enough to make sure she means it, and Chrissy is the one who asks him for something stronger than weed (he never offers it!). Chrissy is initiating things, and she's her own autonomous person capable - at least from Eddie's POV - of making her own decisions, having her own agenda; she’s not some helpless little vulnerable girl. She’s a senior, just like Eddie. Stop vilifying Eddie in this situation. It wasn’t a good thing to do, it’s a flaw, but he never had ill intentions or ulterior motives and he had no way to know that Chrissy was vulnerable.
And selling drugs is what he does. It's a flaw, and one that makes him a complex character. He's a person, and sometimes people do stupid things. It be like that.
2.Eddie not postponing the campaign:
I'll sum up all four scenes relevant for this because again, what we see in canon and what is obviously canonically implied are the facts.
The Pep Rally: At the pep rally, during Jason's speech, we find out that the Hawkins tigers won the game "last night" which means that they're in the championship finale "tonight". Dustin and Mike react shocked that the championship game is "tonight", and Max explains "they call it a tournament. you win one game, you go on and so on until only one team is left." It's canon that they only knew 24 hours beforehand that the championship game would take place because they only won the final game to enable it the night prior.
Walking back from the rally, Lucas tells Dustin and Mike to "just talk to Eddie", which they both at first refuse, instead trying to coerce Lucas into not attending the championship game but the end of the D&D campaign, a campaign which has gone on for the "past semester" as Dustin points out, "we need you." To which Mike adds, "Yes, and the Tigers don't. You've been on the bench all year."
Lucas tells them that the point isn't only the game but "I'm getting good with these guys. I'll be in the popular crowd, and then you guys will be, too. Mike: "Has is ever occured to you that we don't want to be popular?" Lucas: "So you wanna be stuck with the nerds and freaks for three more years?" Dustin: "We are nerds and freaks." Lucas: "But maybe we don't have to be. Look, I'm tired of being bullied. I'm tired of girls laughing at us, I'm tired of feeling like a loser. We came to high school wanting things to be different, right?" - Dustin and Mike nod. Lucas: "So now we have that chance. I skip tonight, that's all out the window. So I'm asking you guys, as a friend, talk to Eddie. Get him to move Hellfire. Come to my game. Please."
The cafeteria scene begins with Eddie reading out the article linking D&D to satanism, sodomy, suicide and murder, poking fun of it before launching into the table speech during which he shows and states that he's tired and defensive and angry at his hobby being not only labelled as "less" than band, science, parties or basketball, but as evil, once again painting him as mean and scary, a freak "because we like to play a fantasy game."
When Dustin asks Eddie to postpone the campaign in the cafeteria, ALL the rest of Hellfire protests before Eddie yells "STOP" so he can speak and say he won't postpone, telling them to find a sub for Lucas.
Those are the relevant scenes. Now, on to your comments:
Even if you hate jocks and hate sports and hate parties and whatever....
he resents them for kicking him down, for having hobbies which are deemed good while his own, absolutely harmless hobby, is called less and even dangerous. The resentment of someone who got bullied and still gets bullied and scorned upon all his life simply because he dresses differently and his hobby is different. We see what those little pricks in season 1 did to Mike and Dustin and Will for being nerds and playing D&D - we all know for Eddie, it hasn't been any different. He jusged people the same way he gets judged and doesn't realize it, which, yes, is a character flaw, and one he very quickly strips after his encounter with Erica who, rightly so, absolutely roasted him to which he realized he didn't act nice and did the shitty thing people were doing to him and owned it and did better, genuinely welcoming him to Hellfire even though he just got roasted and insulted ("long-haired freak", the name freak something Jason calls him and which in the cafeteria scene is revealed to be a very sore spot for him) by her in front of his friends. Flawed? Yes. Learning and doing better? Yes.
it's pretty obvious Lucas didn't have friends outside of Hellfire Club
Canonically wrong. It's not obvious. It might have been if he and Eddie were close, but they aren't (later a bit more on that but bear with me.) The canon facts:
1.The costume design already shows Lucas, at the start of ST4, belongs more to the jocks than the nerds: he wears his basketball attire while Dustin and Mike wear the Hellfire Club shirts. It's the game of the pap rally where everyone wears their club's outfits (the Cheerleaders, the Jocks, the Nerds) so it's not the common outfit but it already separates Lucas from the rest of Hellfire/his friends Mike and Dustin.
2.Lucas is sitting with the basketball players.
It is canonically implied, in two instances, that Lucas started sitting with them regularly, leaving Mike and Dustin to sit alone with each other even before they joined Hellfire/met Eddie. a) in the cafeteria scene when Eddie remembers the moment he invited Dustin and Mike into Hellfire: "You were sitting on that table right there, looking like...looking like TWO little lost sheep" and b) in the scene where Dustin tells Max that Eddie has to be innocent: "When we got to High School, Lucas made all his sports friends. Mike and me? I mean no one was nice to us. No one except Eddie." -> Lucas had started leaving Mike and Dustin behind for the jocks long before Eddie invited them to Hellfire. Implying that Eddie as Hellfire's leader invited Lucas, who was already starting to join the crowd of jocks Eddie dislikes, into Hellfire despite him becoming one of the jocks.
3. Lucas canonically never hangs with Hellfire and Dustin and Mike because the jocks didn't know Lucas was friends with Eddie or anyone in Hellfire. They didn't even know he was friends with Dustin and Mike.
At Benny's when Jason rallies his mob:
When the mob shows up at Corroded Coffin's band practice:
Lucas: "Hellfire isn't a cult. It's just a D&D club. D&D? Dungeons and dragons? It's like a...it's like a game. It's fantasy."
Andy Warren: "And how exactly do you know all of that, Sinclair?"
Lucas: "Uh...well. It's my sister. Yeah. She's like...she's like a total nerd."
DISCLAIMER: Lucas lies here because he wants to find out what the jocks plan, not because he means it. He's a double agent already if you will, I'm only quoting this because obviously the jocks don't know Lucas is in Hellfire or even affiliated with any of its members, canonically implying that Lucas takes care not to be seen with anyone in Hellfire at school. When Jason attacks Garreth and forces him to tell him where Eddie is and Gareth says "Dustin Henderson" there's no indication that the jocks know Lucas is even friends with Dustin, else, they'd have asked Lucas about him.
Gareth: "Lucas? What are you doing with those douchebags?"
Jason: "You know these freaks, Sinclair?"
Lucas: "Uh. They know my sister. They tried to recruit me to their club, cult."
Lucas has friends outside of Hellfire, and he chose them, and it's canonically implied that he doesn't even hang around with Mike, Dustin or the rest of Hellfire during school. His reasons are totally relatable, I'm just saying your point is canonically wrong.
Eddie scheduled the campaign final specifically on the night of the championship game (he wouldve known the exact date, there wouldve been posters and announcements for months prior and hes not stupid) had to have been on purpose.
As per the dialogue in the episode with Max, Mike and Dustin didn't know, and Eddie had no way of knowing since he wasn't at the pep rally where it was said. There can't have been announcements etc because as I said, it's canon that nobody knew until 24 hours prior that the championship game would take place that night. If anybody had known that the game might take place at that date, it would have been Lucas, but since Mike and Dustin didn't know, I don't think Lucas thought about telling them, if he even knew. Canon is only that Mike, Dustin, Eddie and the rest of Hellfire didn't know because the whole school didn't know until 24 hours earlier.
And if he was trying to make Lucas choose a side?
Eddie never threatened to kick anybody out of Hellfire and as we got to know him in the later episodes, he never would have. It was about ONE night, the finale of the campaign, not generally about being part of Hellfire. Plus, Eddie never put Lucas to the test to see which side he'd choose, and he never even implied that he would've kicked Lucas out of Hellfire. It was about one single night. Again, petty and definitely selfish - but there was no ulterior motive, no mind games or power play going on.
That's fucked up. Let a kid have a hobby outside your realm of interests you gatekeeping prick.
Everything in canon implies that it wasn't Eddie's intention. He didn't know the date. He learned that day in the cafeteria. There were loads of equipment for the game and the setting - candles, chalices, all that stuff, and since Hellfire shares the room with the theater club (which is canon by the scenes and the lightning etc. that it's the theatre room) it means he needed to book the room to make sure it was free, meaning that it took work and time to organize everything so the campaign could take place. It never once is even implied that Eddie tried to gatekeep - and from everything we know, the one time when he did try to gatekeep D&D with Erica, he realized the mistake and stopped gatekeeping immediately, holding no ill will.
If by chance he genuinely didn't know the date?
He didn't know the date, that's canon, as I pointed out.
He could've postponed. People postpone D&D campaigns all the fucking time and it's not like Eddie had a job so he had to worry about scheduling issues. It's clear why you can't just move the date of a championship basketball game for 7 nerds to play a boardgame. No, he did this on purpose.
Eddie is the leader of Hellfire, but he's not the only one calling the shots.
The three others - Gareth, Jeff and Freak#3 as he's called in the credits - protested VERY loudly and vehemently as soon as Dustin asked to postpone, before Eddie even got to react. Eddie called them to stop protesting, and it was evident that out of 7 people (Eddie, Lucas, Mike, Dustin, Gareth, Jeff, Freak#3), 3 had already made it clear that they were firmly against postponing, Mike and Dustin wanted to postpone, and Lucas - who wanted to postpone - didn't even go to the trouble to show Eddie the courtesy of asking him himself whether he could postpone the game. Yes, Eddie is Hellfire's leader and DM, but it was 3 against 2 without Eddie and Lucas and 4 against 3 with them, a clear democratic decision not to postpone.
Part of Hellfire are Dustin and Mike who never, not once, asked him to postpone because they wanted to be at the championship game to support Lucas, but because Lucas couldn't be there because of the game. Eddie never knew it was important, Mike and Dustin never voiced that they wanted to support Lucas at the basketball game because they didn't want to and they made it clear with Lucas, only being swayed briefly. It's easy to point at Eddie and say "he didn't want to postpone, we had no choice!" when Eddie didn't even know Mike and Dustin wanted to go to the basketball game (which, again, they didn't make clear was something they wanted).
Had they told Eddie they wouldn't make it to Hellfire alongside Lucas, because they wanted to support him, Eddie and the rest of Hellfire would have had no choice but to postpone, with three missing players. Dustin and Mike had a choice here, and they chose against Lucas.
About the 7 nerds...yes, Eddie doesn't have a job. But what about the other three, Gareth and Jeff and Freak#3? We don't know whether they had jobs, other scheduling issues. You tend to forget that Hellfire isn't just Eddie, but 5, (without Dustin and Mike 3) other people who are included in scheduling decisions. It doesn't work this way that the DM is calling the shots and everyone else follows - no club works like this, except when it's a cult.
To weed out the jocks in his nerd club. To ostracise Lucas specifically. The way Eddie interacts with Mike and Dustin shows he knows the people in Hellfire Club. He would've known who Lucas is. He wouldve known he loves D&D as much as the rest of them but because he also has a different interest that Eddie dislikes (not even for a moral reason but just because its popular), he's forced out.
No, he wouldn't have, because Eddie wasn't close to Lucas, canonically, he didn't know him outside of the D&D games where you play and don't talk a lot about anything outside of the game. It's already been established that at school, Lucas was with the jocks, never with Eddie or Hellfire because else the jocks would have remembered seeing one of their own with one of the "freaks". And Lucas left before Mike and Dustin joined Hellfire, which implies Eddie never ostracized anyone, he never was responsible for Mike and Dustin growing apart from Lucas. They simply had different interests, like teenagers do. People grow apart, interests change. Lucas (and Mike) didn't show much interest in D&D in ST3 - that was Will's whole storyline! - and it is in no way implied that Lucas is sad to miss the campaign (he's sad that Mike and Dustin would miss his game, not that he wouldn't be able to play D&D, judging by the entire dialogue) or that he still loves playing D&D as much as he did. We don't know how he was during the campaigns when there were no jocks around to criticize Lucas and Lucas was free to be himself at Hellfire, but since Lucas never stayed Eddie and the rest of Hellfire during school, while Mike and Dustin did because Lucas was with the jocks and they didn't want to be with the jocks, it's canon that Lucas and Eddie weren't close, and maybe not even friends before the events of ST4. Another proof: Lucas at first actually believes Eddie killed Chrissy (which is relatable since everyone not knowing Eddie, Max included, came to that first conclusion until learning of Vecna and getting to know Eddie):
Again, relatable and Max showed the same reaction but Dustin knew Eddie didn't do it because Dustin was very close to Eddie, much closer than Lucas was.
Lucas: "You guys know he (Eddie) killed Chrissy, right?"
Dustin: "That's bullshit. Eddie tried to save Chrissy."
Lucas: "Then why do all the cops say he did?"
Not once was it implied that Eddie didn't want to postpone because he didn't like Lucas having other interests. It was, however, implied in several instances that it was the moment a whole semester-long campaign had been leading to.
A group supposedly for outsiders is excluding one of their own for *checks notes* being an outsider? It's fucked up and just plain mean.
It would have been, would it have been the case, yes. Canonically, it isn't the case, and Lucas is no outsider. He is an insider with the jocks (Jason: "I should've never let you in." - Lucas:"I shouldn't have knocked."), albeit within the circle of jocks, he's an outsider. We don’t know whether Eddie knows that.
And might I remind you that Eddie's last breath, the last moments of his life after sacrificing himself "for a town that hated him", were spent to make Dustin promise he would look out after all the lost little sheepies because he couldn't anymore? Yes, he did gatekeep (with Erica, not Lucas) but he had a lot of character growth during the series regarding his us-vs-them perspective (with Chrissy not being mean and scary, with Erica being a D&D nerd despite being an eleven-years-old girl, with Steve not being a douche, with Nancy Wheeler having guns, plural, in her bedroom) - but Eddie did never intentionally ostracize anyone. His entire character was written to embody exactly the opposite in the narrative: someone who founded a club for those who'd been ostracised from the rest of high school hierarchy. That was a canon core of Eddie's character and narrative.
That was the canon. Here's my opinion, based on those canon facts and implications I listed:
It was a fucked up situation for ALL of them, and that it went the way it did is their fault, all together, and I'm sorry for all of them that it went this way.
Lucas' POV is relatable: he's tired of being bullied and sticking with Jason and the jocks is his ticket out, and he genuinely believes sticking with the jocks to become part of the popular crowd will benefit Mike and Dustin as well, in the long run, to not being bullied anymore. He never has any ill intent towards anyone.
Mike and Dustin's POV is less relatable than Lucas', in my opinion: They want to play D&D instead of watching the basketball game they're absolutely not interested in even if it's their best friend on the bench and maybe even playing (nobody could have known he'd be playing, he only was because another player was injured, but Mike’s jab at Lucas being a benchwarmer is mean) - they wanted the old times back, they wanted to play D&D alongside Lucas but they chose to play without him instead of supporting him. Eddie never threatened to kick anybody out of Hellfire and as we got to know him in the later episodes, he never would have. It was about ONE night, the finale of the campaign, not generally about being part of Hellfire - they could have opted to support Lucas and Eddie would have needed to postpone. They didn't.
Eddie's POV: He doesn't know Lucas as well as he knows Dustin and Mike because Lucas never spends any time with him outside of the campaigns outside of school. Lucas doesn't even ask Eddie himself to postpone, which, in my opinion, is a bit rude. There has been a lot of work involved for Eddie, preparations for the setting as well as planning of the campaign since he's the DM. By not asking him himself, Lucas didn't show Eddie it was important to him that he could partake in the campaign so no, Eddie didn't know it was important to Lucas, who was sitting with the jocks while he let Mike and Dustin do the talking so he wouldn't be seen with Eddie and the other "freaks and nerds" as Lucas called them. Eddie was petty, yes, but he didn't have any ill intent either, neither towards Lucas nor towards Dustin and Mike - he simply wanted to play D&D and didn't know it was important to postpone because the only explanation Mike and Dustin gave was "we need Lucas as a player", to which the obvious solution was "get a sub". Plus, Eddie never put Lucas to the test to see which side he'd choose, and he never even implied that he would've kicked Lucas out of Hellfire. It was about one single night. Again, a bit petty and definitely selfish and a flaw - but there was no ulterior motive, no mind games or power play going on.
I'm not saying Eddie doesn't have flaws: he has, and that's important because they make him relatable. He acted selfish and ignorant because it was about basketball, and he did gatekeep with Erica until he realized he was and corrected the mistake immediately without being childish about it. Yes, he judges people prematurely and stacks them in neat little boxes just like they do him, and he learns it later on and stops doing it because he’s self-aware. Yes, he was stupid to sell Chrissy ketamine. But canonically, none of these things happened with ulterior motives or ill intent, and the narrative and writers went out of their way to show that because else, they would have failed to depict Eddie as the lovable character he was meant to be.
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I saw this toss in about the whole "Eggdad" thing: Even if Eggman never lays a hand on Sage; that doesn't necessarily mean this stops for the rest of his creations. And Sage has to bear witness to that. (A parent showing blatant favoritism towards certain kids isn't wholesome by any means and hardly ever leads to anything good for every kid involved; including the ones that sucks up all the attention. It's silly to think that this wouldn't affect Sage in some way. Gamma wasn't an AI, and yet the actions Eggman had him do [and Amy's words] had him think twice. Omega was tossed away, and now seeks revenge. Even Metal Sonic rebelled, which ultimately resulted in him being reset. *With Sonic's influence changing how she calculated outcomes, what's stopping her from having her "canon event" later?)
*Note: This doesn't really mean yet another rebellion from an Eggman invention. (In anything, I'm more intrigued about the opposite happening. Like Sage struggling with perfectionism to NOT wind up like previous creations did. Constant approval seeking.)
Yeah exactly. I think a lot of the people who didn't wanna hear me out were missing the point of my analysis, hc, and fic about this. They were acting like I'm predicting that Eggman will be depicted smacking Sage around or something but I don't think he will because well- he literally can't. At least I don't think so because Sage is an AI program and his hands should just phase right through her if he were to try anyway.
Instead I was actually highlighting how terribly he treats all his other creations of Metal Sonic, the E Series, and Orbot and Cubot and how he's even manipulated those who were created/worked on by his grandfather with Emerl and Shadow. It'd make a lot of sense if he manipulated Sage in various ways and one way can actually be through treating her better than his other creations that he still treats terribly.
It's highly likely for him to at least be manipulative towards her, in fact he pretty much is in the Frontiers' story. Because he'll yell at her one moment when she doesn't do exactly what he wants but highly praises her the next when she does. He'll raise his voice and thump things that he can hit when he's angry at her, just as he does his other creations. Only difference is that he can't actually hit her like them.
But hitting them physically isn't the only way he can be a bad father and show concerning traits that support that. It's all throughout Frontiers for the above, which is present in multiple cutscenes. And also the way his value of Sage is solely rooted in what she can do for him and how great and impressive of a genius she makes him look as her creator in the first place, as he makes very clear in the memos.
That's already a lot of pressure put on Sage. She's expected to meet these expectations in loyalty and efficiency that Eggman brags about in the memos, otherwise she isn't reflective of his genius and doesn't bring him the selfish gain he desires, which will lose what gives her value and use to him in his own words! And not just that, but also the point you've raised about how he treats his other creations.
I've seen a lot of people acting like the way Eggman treated his other creations suddenly doesn't matter or just ignore it. But let's not pretend that Eggman isn't awfully cruel to Orbot and Cubot all the time in the games, which I explored in depth in my "proof that Eggman is a bad father" video. He has been verbally and physically abusive towards them and there's no other word for it or any excuses to make against it.
That isn't suddenly erased just because he sees more value in Sage (for very selfish conceited self serving reasons at that) and half-heartedly entertains the idea of Orbot and Cubot being like her brothers. It actually makes it worse that he's willing to see them that way with the way he treats them. It just means he's canonically both verbally and physically abusive to "kids" of his already, regardless of if he is to Sage.
I've seen it depicted in cutesy funny ways to have Eggman treat Sage better in front of the others, but the blatant favoritism of some creations over others, that's based on who is the most impressive and useful to him at the time, would have harmful effects on all involved in reality. Sage has to keep living up to that and he can use her as an example to get the others to fight harder for the same praise.
The Murder of Sonic had Eggman do this intentionally by having them compete against to serve him well to impress him and get praise and "rewards" and I really like that. He programs them with feelings just to take advantage of them like that and that's just so Eggman. I can see him doing more of the exact same thing in the main games with how their worth is determined by their use there too.
Sage, Metal Sonic, and Orbot and Cubot would all be affected badly by this when they realize Eggman's affection and praise is conditional, shallow, and manipulative in these ways. When they realize that it's really all determined by what is the most beneficial to him personally, while buttering them up to keep them loyal and efficient, set an example and act as a measuring stick to the others but tosses them if they fail.
And Gamma was also a victim of this as a top example of what shows how harmful it is when Eggman picks a favorite! Eggman praised Gamma highly and said he was proud of him in the exact same way he did to Sage and say that he knew he'd be of use (again proving that their value is determined by their use to him), to butter him up and keep him performing well- even though he clearly had doubts in him prior.
It was very manipulative of Eggman to that just like it appears to me with Sage too. It's even similar to TMoS in a way, with how he pit Gamma against Beta in a fight and all the E Series had to search for Froggy and he punished the failures cruelly by breaking them down, disassembling them and putting them back together, which disturbed Gamma so much that he was willing to kill his brothers to set them all free.
And Omega was shut away by Eggman and he hated being sealed in that room, not even the important duty of guarding the real Shadow and ensuring that he didn't escape was enough to feel valued and be happy. Just because he can be useful to him, it doesn't change that Eggman is still cruel and uncaring and will lock him away and not care if he wants it or not. His value and praise is a performance and only for his gain.
And Metal Sonic is also another of the top examples of what it's like to be treated badly by Eggman to the point that he tries to rebel twice but not be so lucky to escape like the E Series and Omega because he's trapped being reprogrammed again and again and kept under his control to ensure that he's not going anywhere. No matter how useful a creation is to him at one point or another, they all suffer in some way.
There are many ways Eggman could be cruel or harmful to Sage. I think he's already shown signs of how and used some tactics on her in Frontiers, going by his track record and the known intentions and reasons behind it confirmed by Ian Flynn. Maybe they'll decide to expand on it blatantly, maybe they won't. But I think it's there subtly already and those conditions are very accurate to his character.
Then you have the extras of Eggman calling Sage "ugly/unseemly" before he gave her shoes in the Sonic Channel art (what was seen as a sweet cute gift by fans still had him being a jerk in it like lol wtf Eggman) and in Murder of Sonic, he's still yelling at Orbot in front of her, so she has witnessed Eggman still very much being terrible to his other creations/her brothers and in front of her in official media already!
And yeah I don't see Sage betraying Eggman with the stuff she witnessed both from how he treats her and Sonic and co and how she still stuck by his side and stayed genuinely loyal and willing to protect and serve. Even after all that and how she also revealed that she doubted he even cared about her, as she asked Sonic if he thinks Eggman does (to which Sonic could only mutter "sure... in his own way" lol)
Eggman doesn't even have to give her much to keep her loyal and efficient as it's what he created her to do and it was a success, she's devoted and willing regardless of how he treats her. She was like that even before he gave her an ounce of praise and even after he yelled at her. But the manipulation of her emotions by buttering her up with that praise, albeit conditional, helps further ensure it will stay that way.
And when his other creations see the praise and approval Sage gets, they'll wish they could get that too and will work harder to try to please him, which is exactly what he wants. But he has and continues to treat his other creations terribly even in front of her when they don't, which puts even more pressure on her having to continue living up to that standard to keep him pleased and avoid ending up like them.
So yeah, regardless of how Eggman treats Sage on the surface, there's always those dark undertones, the bad signs that have shown in their interactions, and the toxic basis of their dynamic on Eggman's side as officially confirmed. It's supposed to be unsettling as Flynn said for a reason. And he still treats his other creations blatantly terribly in front of her which also isn't pleasant and can have harmful effects.
They're not the picture perfect family that people find cute and ideal and that's actually the point. And it will definitely be interesting to see how Sage remains loyal and devoted but will have to deal with her father doing things like this to her brothers and what she thinks and he feels about it. It will probably be like how she took a liking to Sonic and co but Eggman just wants them dead but still she stayed by him despite that.
#asks#dr eggman#eggman#dr robotnik#dr. eggman#sage the ai#sonic frontiers#the murder of sonic the hedgehog#abuse mention#metal sonic#orbot and cubot#eggdad#robotnik family#eggfam#sage robotnik#my post
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Another Nine Analysis: Warped Senses And Tragedy
Yay, another Nine analysis! It's been a while, huh? But I have more thoughts about him I need to write out so here I am. So now let's begin.
Alright, so let's start with the fact that while the other variants are devoid of the things that represent them (empathy for Amy, and Honor for Knuckles), Nine's is actually not only enhanced but WARPED in a more twisted way.
Amy's lack of empathy is shown through Rusty (a robotized Amy) and Thorn (while she wanted to protect the Jungle she didn't try to understand or find common ground) and Knuckle's lack of honor is shown through Dread.
But Nine is rather different. Yes while he didn't stay and help the Rebels, and abandoned them, he choose to save Sonic instead. In fact earlier during the battle between the Rebels and Dr. Deep, I noticed that he only helps Sonic during the battle. He's the first one to notice Sonic's in danger and stops to help him, but only him, he doesn't do it for the others. Watch closely at how Nine contrasts against the others in the fight.
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The others help out each other, but Nine only helps Sonic. I thought it was an interesting detail, and it also proves my theory. Not to mention he's surprised when Sonic saves him and pleased when he learns about a high five.
Another thing is how he chooses to abandon the rebels, choosing to save the shard, the shard that took Sonic. He once again chooses Sonic over everyone else.
The battle during the Rebellion, once again, Sonic.
I disagree that Nine isn't loyal, that he's a Tails that lacks loyalty, but a Tails whose sense of loyalty that's starting to become deluded and damaging towards others and possibly himself. A dedication and commitment that does more harm towards others and himself than it helps. A self-destructive and dangerous obsession.
He's only loyal towards Sonic, he's only dedicated to Sonic, he's only attached to Sonic, he only smiles with Sonic, and no one else.
If Nine wasn't loyal or committed to Sonic, then why did he wait weeks for Sonic, and why did he come back for Sonic?
It's understandable why too, to him Sonic is a person from another world who gave another version of him a life he always dreamed of. To him, Sonic is his only friend, the only person who accepts him for his Tails, the only person who gave him a reason to let his walls down. So it's understandable that he'd only care for Sonic.
Unlike the others, Sonic can bring him something he dreamed of, unlike the others Sonic was bright and bubbly and not yet damaged by the horrible world around him, and unlike the others, Sonic is the only one who can make his heart melt with that unrelenting optimism and blinding faith and allow another in.
Unlike the others, Sonic gave him something to live for, to fight with blood and sweat for.
A WORLD and LIFE to hope for.
It's no wonder the poor kid latched onto the first person who showed him kindness and affection. Before Sonic meet him, he probably hasn't made contact with anyone in YEARS after he fought back his bullies.
Just look at his face after he tries to ignore Sonic in the top left. His face softens, and with the slightest bit of hesitance asks what else they did in this wonderful dream world just out of reach of his gloved hands.
Which makes my next thought worse.
Guys, you'll hate this but...
I don't think Nine's going to get his happy ending. It'll most likely be very bittersweet at best.
DON'T GET ME WRONG, HE DESERVES THE WORLD! But the world he wants can't ever be achieved without Sonic. Sonic, just wants to get home no matter what. A home that isn't Nine's. A home Nine can't ever go to.
Nine wants Sonic to stay, being unable to be happy in a world without him. Sonic wants to go home, being unable to be happy without his FRIENDS. Like he said earlier in the pilot, his FRIENDS make Green Hills HOME. Which makes it clear he won't be happy living in the Grim.
Both of them have opposite goals, goals that can't be achieved at the same time. This is originally mentioned by @animatedjunkfood, but I agree that the Grim scene reflects this extremely well with its visuals.
Look at the sky, a strong blue, starting light but darkening as the sky gets further and further away from the sandy bottom, stars twinkling with lost dreams. The ground is deep orange with grey crystals shooting out of it, crystals a faded grey reflecting shimmering hope reaching to grasp the sky to come true, never making it.
On the distant horizon, there's a light gleaming from the distance, somewhat reminding me of a rising sun.
I think there are three things this represents.
It might be reflective of Sonic and Tails' relationship. Sonic, while better on the ground always lives carefree, running like the wind, sometimes resulting in being easily distracted. Tails, who can fly, ironically is the more grounded of the two using his tech and being more focused.
Sonic is the sky and Tails is the earth. That's how it's always been.
But this could also reflect Nine's dream. Notice how the sky is blue like his eyes and Sonic's fur, how the ground is orange like his fur, and how the grey crystals reflect Nine's tails. But what's missing?
Emerald green. The emerald green of Sonic's eyes. This isn't the world he wants, it's what NINE wants. Hence why green isn't anywhere present. It's not HIS ideal world.
Lastly, and my favorite, this could reflect their different goals and how they can never be achieved simultaneously. Nine wants this world to be home, hence why the ground is orange. Sonic however wants to go home, a place beyond Nine's reach, which is reflected wonderfully through the blue sky that twinkle with stars. Stars are often thought of as dreams and hope, which makes sense, as Sonic can bring Nine that.
Another thing I REALLY like is how the grey crystals could reflect Nine's mechanical Tails, reaching to try and grasp Sonic, to grasp that happy dream, the earth reaching out for that sky of sweet hope.
But the ground and the sky can never touch...
Ouch...
#more sonic prime!#sonic prime#nine sonic prime#tails nine#oh nine...#poor sonic...#they BOTH need hugs#they both need therapy#nine the fox#miles nine prower#nine deserves to win no matter what#nine needs a hug#sonic needs a hug#sorry if i made any of you sad#but this IS sad#sonic prime spoilers#sonic prime nine#Youtube
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@wendyliddel asked: To add to the whole Lorelei/Christopher, Rory/Logan discussion, I just wanted to mention that I personally never shipped either of those pairings. Just because Christopher got Lorelei pregnant in high school does not mean they were meant to be together. And it's been a long time since I watched the later seasons, but I remember thinking that Logan brought out the worst in Rory, and the fact that they are having an affair in the revival shows that even as adults their relationship is not healthy.
Yeah, part of the reason why I'm always confused whenever people insist that Rory and Logan have to be together because they'll likely have a baby is because Lorelai and Christopher's entire history started off with this exact same thing, and Lorelai rejected his half-hearted proposal just because they had a kid. It's similar with how even when Logan tried giving her a key to one of his houses (possibly in order to continue being connected to her in some way/continuing their affair even after he got married), Rory gave it back to him and it was made clear that whatever they had was really over between them. The show has basically gone over plotlines like this before, so it's not hard to put the pieces together in order to understand what will actually happen for these characters.
Granted, the plot of the revival was originally Amy Sherman-Palladino's plot for season 7, since she stepped down as showrunner because of contract conflicts with the studio, so technically Rory and Logan would've likely had the Vegas arrangement/affair during season 7 when he went to London. But as I mentioned before, even without this being the original plot of season 7, the fact that the showrunners chose to show Logan simply ending their 2 year relationship all because Rory didn't want to immediately marry him when he felt like turning his entire life around further makes the Christopher comparisons viable. I mean, Christopher himself pulled this on Lorelai back in season 1, and when she told him no he just continued being a distant and mostly unavailable father to Rory.
Also, as ksfd89 so graciously put it, the characters don't have to completely parallel each other's lives in order to be specific archetypes of each other. I feel like that is what Amy herself was going for with them and especially with Logan.
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Yours
Request by: Anonymous - Can I do an anonymous request for a Loki x reader where he returns to the reader after a few years and he is surprised to see that she has a child, but it turns out it is his child he didn’t know about.
Thanks for the request! I hope you enjoy it!
Warnings: Mild angst, I guess?
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"How was school today, (D/N)?" You asked, carefully looking at your five year old daughter in the rear-view mirror. She looked at you with her bright green eyes and a wide grin. Her front tooth was missing, the beginnings of her new tooth starting to poke out from her gums.
"Good! We read a Curious George book and talked about colors!" Your daughter said enthusiastically.
You smiled, crinkling your tired eyes. "Do you have a favorite color?"
"I like yellow."
"Yellow's a very pretty color."
You turned into your neighborhood, scanning the street signs to find yours. It was a brief moment of quiet before (D/N) spoke again.
"Miss Amy also said Parents Day is soon. She sent this home for you to look at." She said.
You only slightly paled at your daughter's words as you pulled into the driveway and took the envelope from (D/N)'s hands. Parents Day was a day in mid September where the parents could come into the class and their child could show them what they were learning. They could ask questions to the teacher about how the children were being taught.
"It's on Friday? At noon?" You half asked to yourself. Gently, you turned around in your seat to face your daughter with a sad smile. "(D/N), I have to work that day. I don't think I can go."
(D/N) frowned and slightly slumped in her seat.
"You can never go to anything." She sighed. It crushed you to see her so sad.
"I'm sorry, sweetie, but I've already missed too many days for when you or I get sick. I can take you out for frozen yogurt that afternoon, though. Would that be okay?" You asked, biting your lip.
"I guess. I wish Daddy were here." (D/N) sighed.
"Me too, kiddo." You said, getting out of the car and shutting the door. She followed suit, dragging her Minnie Mouse backpack on the pavement behind her. "Me too."
You had seen the other parents' glances whenever you dropped (D/N) off at kindergarten in the morning. It was mostly mothers who dropped off their kids, so you coming in alone wasn't totally abnormal. Though it was like High School all over again: cliques of girls whispering about you in groups of three or four while glancing at you with pursed lips. Being a single parent was the abnormal thing. Your town was small, so gossip spread like wildfire.
"...Got knocked up by some foreign guy."
"...Left her to pursue an art career."
"...He left town as soon as she told him he was pregnant."
You honestly didn't know how some of those rumors spread. People's imaginations were limitless, you figured. Well, the detail about the father being "some foreign guy" wasn't too far off. But you couldn't really say the father was an actual god, they'd think you were crazy for sure. So, you let the rumors spread and eventually they had less and less effect on you. The side glances didn't exactly make you feel good, though.
You entered the small house, following (D/N) inside. She put her backpack on the hook and sat at the kitchen table.
"Do you want something to eat?" You asked. She nodded and you went to rummage around in the pantry for something. (D/N) wasn't particularly picky about her snacks. You settled on a half empty bag of pretzel sticks and poured some into a bowl. (D/N) took it and started to go up the stairs. "Remember, clean up your crumbs."
Once you heard her door close, you pulled a (favorite soda/seltzer) out of the fridge and sat at the table, resting your head in your hand with a sigh. You wanted to go to the parent night, you really did. But it wasn't worth risking your job over. Your boss already made it hard for you because she knew your situation. She was the type of person who believed in marriage before children and gave you your work with a slightly disgusted glance every day. This was your life, and the sooner you accepted that, the better.
There was a quick knock at the front door that shook you out of your thoughts. Sighting, you stood up to get it. You hoped it wasn't your nosy neighbor, always offering to babysit (D/N) because "there's only one you and I can make it easier." She always asked for a ridiculously high payment that you couldn't afford along with the offer. Luckily, you had most of the weekends off and (D/N) went to full day kindergarten on the weekdays.
"For the last time, Donna, I don't need your charity babysi-" you started as you opened the door, but abruptly cut yourself off. It wasn't your neighbor, or your mom that brought you pies sometimes, or the Amazon guy for that matter.
"Loki?" You asked, eyes wide. Sure enough, there was your estranged ex boyfriend. He nervously picked at the pilling green sweater he wore, barely meeting your eyes. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"I... Well..." Loki stuttered, biting his lip. You sighed and opened the door wider.
"Get in and pull yourself together." You said cooly. Loki nodded as he slowly entered the house, sitting on the edge of the sofa like there were needles poking out of the back cushion. You sat down next to him with your arms folded.
"I'm sure you're very angry with me." Loki started.
"What gave you that impression? My folded arms, my tone, or the fact that you've been gone for five years?" You snapped.
"(Y/N), I can explain-"
"You left me, Loki. In the middle of the night, no explanation. Just a note on the pillow saying that you love me and how much it hurt that you just had to leave right then. You didn't think that maybe explaining it to me when I was awake would be a better idea? No, because you just had me wake up the next morning with no you and a half assed note. So, yeah, I'm angry!" You yelled, not even trying to hold back.
"I know, and I'm so sorry. It's just... I was scared-" Loki tried to apologize.
"Scared? Of what? Loving a mortal? I thought that it didn't matter to you." Your tone started to form into a more hurt one than anything.
"No, it's not that." Loki said.
"Well, then what is it?"
"I was scared for you, your safety. I've done wrong in the past, my darling, and I've had people hunting for me, bad people. I didn't want you to get swept up in it. That was part of the reason why I left. But I wanted to figure out how to fix it. I always intended to come back, but not until I was sure we were safe." Loki explained. You sat in silence, considering his words.
"Well, you can't expect to be able to waltz back into my life like nothing happened." You said in a tone that probably didn't fit the words you were saying. A sympathetic tone with harsh words.
"I didn't expect to."
"Mama, I heard you yelling.... Mama, who is that?" You jumped at the sound of your daughter having come back down the stairs. You cleared your throat, trying to find the right words.
"Uh... Well..." You spluttered. "He's..."
"Have I been gone long enough for you to find the comfort of another man?" Loki didn't sound angry, rather he sounded sad.
"No, there's been no one else. (D/N), come here please." You said. Timidly, the little girl climbed into your lap and watched the strange new man intently. "(D/N), this is your daddy."
Both Loki and (D/N) looked at you in surprise.
"I found out a week after you left. She's your daughter. She has your eyes." You said shyly. "She's yours."
(D/N) took a second to process the information before giggling. She lept out of your lap and into Loki's arms. He caught her with an "uff" from the impact. He looked at the little girl carefully and did notice her eyes were the same shade of green as his. He felt a sort of familial bond with her as she hugged him tightly.
"Now that you're here, Mama can go to Parents Night!" She said enthusiastically.
"(D/N), slow down, he just got here." You laughed. "And we still have to figure things out. I still work, you know."
"Oh, right. Well, at least I have a daddy now!"
"If you'll have me back?" Loki asked you. You looked from Loki to the daughter you shared clutching him like a koala bear. You sighed and smiled. (D/N) needed her father, more than you wanted to admit. And you still loved him more than you wanted to admit.
"I can't forgive you right away, but we can build it back up." You agreed. "But in the future, just talk to me, okay?"
"Of course, my darling." Loki said, kissing your temple lightly.
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Hope you enjoyed this, Nonnie!
Requests are open! Rules and characters are on the pinned post on my profile!
#marvel#avengers#loki#tom hiddleston#loki (marvel)#loki odinson#loki x reader#loki x you#loki fanfic
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200 Followers celebration!
For I finally reached 200 Followers here's my celebration!
It contains 2 elements! First this emoji ask meme:
So send me
🌈To get a fictional character based on your blog/what I know about you
✨To get a book recommendation (please add a genre if you aren't into sci-fi or fantasy)
💫To get a series recommendation
🌸To get my thoughts on you/ first impression
(beside the first and the last one you can sent on anon when you feel more comfortable with it)
Part 2 is the following creepypasta! If you don't like scary stuff just skip it and scroll on. I don't mention any critical things as far as I can judge. If you read it but think I should add trigger warnings please tell me (you can just sent an anon ask and tell me what tw I have to set) I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable and will add any trigger warnings!
"There's a myth being told. You know? It's about the white man. A creature pale as snow. His eyes a glooming red. You should never ever try to get him alive. And never ever summon him! He has medusas abilities and a single look at him and you saying 'no' will immediately turn you to stone for the next 10 years."." wait- wait- wait. Why only 10 years, Kathy? That sounds lame. Like losing 10 years? That's definetly worth to experience how it is being a stone!" Dev and Emma nod agreeingly." Well fine! What other ideas do you have?", Kathrine asks sending a glare in my direction. "uhm. What about 30 years and you forget everything besides the feeling of not being able to move?" I ask 'em. "why not 50 years? That's way more frightening and sounds way more magical?" Emma complains. Dev gives a noise that's implying he agrees. "than that's it?" we all nod to show Kathy our agreement. She then types the new version into her computer. "okay so how do we wanna continue?" she says as she looks at us again. "what about a young boy like 15 years old? And he is trying to challenge himself by finding the creature." Dev suggests. "okay, that sounds good, but I'm going to bed guys" "g'night" we say as Emma already leaves the room. "okay I'll write like a short introduction and I'd say we do it then tomorrow so no one leaves out!" "yeah!" Dev and me say simultaneously. While she's writing Dev and I throw chips in each other's mouth and try to catch 'em. Afterwards we talk another half hour and then go to bed.
It was dark when I woke up. A look at my smartphone revealed it was 4am. I had to grin to myself. It was exactly the time we stated in the SCP document to be the time the white man would show up. I was still impressed by Devs idea to start our own myth. And I was proud of Kathrine to be such a good writer she would write us the creepy pasta about it. The SCP thing we might got by ourselves but none of us had the talent to write a good horror story. The idea came from Deb at least all the facts for the SCP site. Only the years I didn't agree. I thought ten years of being a stone doesn't sound scary. Maybe even like a relief. Ten years without any responsibility... I went to the toilet and bumped into several objects on my way but didn't wanted to turn any lights on. When I was done I decided to go outside for a bit. I couldn't go back into that room with three other people. The air just was bad. I took Kathy's key so I don't locked out myself from her home and went into the garden. It was November and pretty cold but my sweater kept me warm. I sat under the oak tree I always wished to have a tree house in but her parents didn't allow us to build one. They thought it were unsafe but right now it would have been a better option than the bare ground. I breathed in the fresh air. 4.15 am. I thought about the creepypasta. What would it be like to be a stone for 50 years. I mean you can't age as a stone so when you come back you just lost 50 years of your friends and families life but none of your own cause physically your still the same age? Or would you die at the age of 20 cause you would have only had 70 years? I heard a rustle from the hedge in front of me. Was it a cat? But who would leave a cat that early when it's winter? I made a clicking sound with my tongue. "come here little one" I whispered. I heard another rustle. I took my phone and turned on the flashlight to have better vision. I cast it at the bush. Nothing. Then a reflection. It was almost red so it must be a cat with amber colored eyes. Cute, I thought by myself. Another movement. "don't worry." I told the cat. And it came out the bush. Only problem: it wasn't a cat. It was pale. It was a man. It was an almost white man. I gasped. What the hell. Automatically my eyes went to the creatures eyes and in my dumb disbelief I spoke the one cursed word: "no". Because my mind refused to belief what it saw. I felt my body turning unmoveable. The last clear thought of mine was: Well,at least I will find out what it is to be turned to stone.
The next morning Dec was the first to wake up. As soon as he noticed Alex empty bed he knew what happened tonight. He knew it because it was what happened to him. Ten years ago. He knew it because he lived through a similar evening back then. Sure they didn't wrote an SCP but they had other places to put the information. Back then he also thought it only was a joke of the new kid that came to the school one year ago. Back then he was as naive as Alex. When he woke up this night he ignored the urge for fresh air. He refused to be turned to stone again. The whole evening he worried the others would find it strange he told him all the facts. But he didn't questioned anything back then either. He know went down. And searched for the sculpture. The horrified look on Alex's face sent a little hurt to him and he asked himself if the one who hid him back then felt the same. He also wondered how long this have been happening already and how long it will continue. At least none of them actually loses ten years. They all only lose ten years of their friends and famalies life's. He pushed and pulled the sculpture to the cave. The cave he spent the last ten years. And because he knew Alex would hear him he said: "I'm sorry. We will meet again somewhen. I didn't knew he would pick you. When you wake up you have to do the same I did. I don't know what will happen if you don't. But if it was something good I don't think this would have continued so long. Goodbye" then he left this cave forever
I had time to think about everything. And I figured something out. When I look into the mirror in the bathroom of my new friends I met in the last year I still saw the same face. It was even stranger than if I had aged. I wondered whether Dev felt the same back then. Ten years ago. I made a decision. I never knew I would do this. But I was sure to do the right thing. The only option. I went back to the living room where Amy, Cal and Pete were already waiting. "so what will we do tonight?" Amy asks us. "what's about starting the myth of the white man?" Pete asks. And I look at him. And I see what I should have noticed so long ago. The strange oldness in his eyes. I knew it. "No!" Cal exclaimed and got my full attention. "no goddamn horror stories! Stop that! You guys know that always goes wrong! You know the movies! We aren't dumb teenagers from ten years ago! We won't do this!" and when I looked at him I notice that he was like me. We had made the same decision. But I also asked myself: when three of us are already here, how many of us exist? How many of us have to do this? When will this end?
@emo-bi-mess I thought you liked to be tagged in it :)
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The Girl Out of Time
Pairing: Bucky X Reader and Sam X Reader
Background: Willow Roffe was born and raised in Brooklyn. She lived her life as happily as she could with her two childhood best friends Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers. When they both left her to join the military she tried to continue with life but that didn't get to happen for her for the simple fact that she meant something to James Buchanan Barnes.
Rating: Story will be overall MATURE but not every chapter. There will be strong language, talk of both mental and physical abuse, some good ole angst, and smut. There will be a warning at the beginning of the chapter when it includes smut.
Chapter 17
A few weeks after everything had happened with Shield, Hydra, and Bucky I found myself back at Gracie's. She had excitedly let me in. Turns out her children and grandchildren were there. She had introduced me to everyone then sent the kids upstairs to play while Gracie, Greg, Lucas, Anna, and I sat together in the living room.
"What have you been up to since returning?" Anna asked me.
"A lot of things. I use to work for Shield with my friend Steve but then I helped him take that down. Now I've been helping him search for a friend we thought was dead." I told them.
"James?" Gracie asked.
"Yea, turns out he's still alive. It's been an insane past few months." I told her.
"Sounds like it." Greg chuckled.
After the kids and grandkids left I sat alone on the couch with Grace.
"I've been seeing someone." I told her softly.
"Really?" She asked excitedly.
"Yea, his name is Sam. He's been in the middle of all this with me. It's rough sometimes though because I know we are eventually going to find James. What happens if I remember him and all those old feelings everyone says I had come back? I really do like Sam and I don't want to loose him or hurt him." I confided.
Grace chuckled softly then turn in her seat to face me. She grabbed my hand holding it gently between both of her's.
"Does Sam know about James?" She asked.
I nodded.
"Is he aware of your memory loss and your history with James?" She asked.
I nodded again.
"He still chooses to he with you even though he knows all this. I'm sure he knows there's a possibility of loosing you to James. The thing is, even if you won't be together forever, the time you have with Sam now is precious and full of memories you will cherish forever. I can't tell you what to decide when the time comes. All I can say is follow your heart. The right choice is not always the easiet." She spoke softly.
I just stared at her for a minute.
"How did you get to be the wise one?" I asked her quietly.
Grace chuckled then patted my leg.
"It comes with years and years of mistakes." She smiled at me.
"I hate that I didn't get to experience life with you. To be there for you when you needed me." I told her feeling the sudden need to apologize.
"Things were hard after you disappeared. Mom was an absolute mess and dad seemed to get even worse than he was before. I hadn't realized how much you had protected me and Amy from him. Things were rough but Amy and I kept pushing on because we knew that's what you would have done." Grace's voice was shaky.
I hugged her feeling even more sorry that I had been taken away from her and Amelia. I never wanted them to suffer at our father's hand. That's why I always took the beatings. I wanted them to be free and happy. I could handle the pain plus I had Steve to get me threw. I had James too but I couldn't remeber what impact he had made on me.
A few months later I woke up in bed cuddled next to Sam. I had ended up staying with him in his apartment in DC. He was already awake typing away on his phone. I wrapped my arm around his torso then moved closer to him. He chuckled then started running his fingers threw my hair.
"Steve sent me another lead for us to follow. Said he and the others are going after another Hydra base." Sam said quietly.
I groaned then rolled over on my back. Ever since we found out Bucky was still alive we've been chasing down leads. It's been months with no result. Each time the trail ends cold.
"Where to this time?" I asked him as I sat up.
"Looks like Mexico" Sam said.
I got out of bed wrapping my arms around myself from the sudden cold that hit my naked body. Sam whistled at me as he usually did. I hurried to the dresser and closet to get my clothes. Sam was quick to do the same. When we were both dressed we each packed a bag that would last us a few days.
"Let's grab some breakfast before we head out." Sam said as he walked out of the bedroom.
I pulled on the dark brown leather jacket that Steve had given me then followed Sam down the hall. When I got to the kitchen I gave Sam a quick kiss then started to pull out everything we needed. Sam did most of the cooking as usual while I helped here and there.
"How are we getting there?" I asked Sam as we ate.
"Flying" he said simply.
It took us a few days to come to the conclusion that this lead was just like the others. It's possible Bucky was there at one point but he was long gone by the time we got there. Once we were back in the states Steve called to invite us to New York for a party.
I showed Sam where the Avengers tower was in the city then we made our way all the way to the top. By the time we got there the party was in full swing.
"Sam! Willow!" Someone shouted from a small group.
Steve appeared out of the people then walked over to us quickly. He hugged me tightly to him.
"How'd it go?" He asked us.
"Cold" I told him.
He nodded with a look of disappointment clear on his face.
"I want to introduce you to some people." Steve said pulling me by my hand.
Sam followed behind us threw the crowd. Steve stopped in front of a tall, extremely muscular man with long blonde hair.
"Will this is Thor. Thor this is Willow the girl I told you about." Steve said with a smile.
Thor smiled then extended his large hand out to me. I made it a point to shake his hand using my super soldier strength. He laughed then shook his hand.
"She is mighty" his voice boomed in a foreign accent I didn't recognize.
"He's the God of Thunder and king of Asgard." Steve said to me.
"God?" I questioned in surprise.
"You've heard of the Norse god Thor right?" Steve asked clearly amused.
"Well yea" I answered.
Steve pointed to Thor. I looked up to the man who wasn't a man at all. He was a mythical god.
"You mean to tell me you're casually friends with a god?" I asked Steve.
"He's apart of the Avengers." Steve shrugged.
I just looked at him like he was crazy. He had to be joking. Steve laughed as he pulled me behind him again. This time we stopped at the bar where Tony, Hill, and another man were standing.
"Willow, nice to see you again." Tony said raising his glass to me.
"You too Stark" I smiled at him.
"This is Rhodey. He's an old friend of Stark's. He's also known as the War Machine which is one of Tony's suits." Steve explained.
"Pleasure" I said as I shook his hand.
He pulled his hand away then slowly stretched his fingers.
"Quite a grip you got there." He said in surprise.
Hill, Stark, Steve, and Sam all laughed. Apparently he hadn't been told about me yet.
"Sorry about that sometimes I forget no one other than Steve can handle my normal hand shakes." I chuckled.
"Why's that?" Rhodey asked curiously.
"She's a super soldier like Capsicle." Tony said.
"Capsicle?" I questioned him with a brow raised.
Steve sighed and shook his head while Tony laughed. Steve continued to pull me around the room to introduce me to a few people he had met. Eventually the three of us decided to go off on our own.
Steve started quietly explaining what had happened at the Hydra base. Turns out it wasn't very stealthy. They had two "enhanced" as Steve called them that really did a number on them. In the end they did end up with the septor.
"Sounds like a hell of a fight. Sorry I missed it." Sam said as we started up a set of stairs.
"If I had known it would be a fire fight I absolutely would have called you two." Steve chuckled.
"No, no, I'm not actually sorry. I'm just trying to sound tough. I'm very happy chasing cold leads with Willow on our missing person case. Avenging is your world. Your world is crazy." Sam explained as we came to a stop on a balcony overlooking the room.
"I'm kinda upset I missed it." I shrugged.
"Of course you are." Sam chuckled.
"Be it ever so humble." Steve laughed.
"You find a place in Brooklyn yet?" Sam asked Steve.
Steve sighed.
"I don't think I can afford a place in Brooklyn." He said softly.
"Well, home is home, ya know?" Sam said.
I can imagine all the reasons Steve would want a place in Brooklyn. Sam was right. Home is home. I would give anything to be able to go home. There were even days I wished I could go back to 1946. Then I had the days I was so happy to be where I was. It was a rough rollercoaster ride. Each day was different but I pushed threw and made the best of it.
"Come on we should join the others." Steve said moving to go back downstairs.
Steve left Sam and I alone to go talk to Bruce. Sam and I found a seat on a couch. Hill, Tony, Rhodey, and Clint were already sitting in the same area as us. Nat was quick to join us. The party dwindled quickly until it was only the avengers and their close personal friends.
---
Masterlist
#nothingbutfangirlsmut#bucky imagine#bucky fanfic#bucky x reader#bucky barnes#james buchanan barnes#steve rogers#natasha romanov#clint barton#tony stark#thor#agent hill#bruce banner#rhodey#sam wilson fanfiction#sam x reader#sam wilson#the girl out of time
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