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strawberry-fields-things · 2 years

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▸ VIII: COME A LITTLE CLOSER

pairing: hero!dream x fem!vigilante!reader

SUMMARY: things clearly aren’t always what they seem to be. with friendships being tested after last week’s revelation, and the tension growing between the league and the vigilantes, a clear question seems to rise amongst the chaos: who can you really trust?

WARNINGS: cursing, not so subtle references to a john mulaney bit, suggestive themes, alcohol, drinking, implied experimentation, mentions of murder, mentions of torture so much angst ohmygod.

WORD COUNT: 5.6k

NOTE: this chapter was heavily inspired by that one john mulaney stand-up and come a little closer by cage the elephant. also! this is actually the chapter that inspired this whole series + has been sitting in my drafts since early july 2021 so,,,, good luck <3

Whoever said that getting wasted at a party full of strangers is not a healthy way of escaping from your problems clearly did not know how to have a good time.

Loud music drums against your ears with a loud steady beat. Shoulders brush against yours, plastic cup held loosely between your fingers as you weave through the crowd of people.

You don’t even know whose house this is.

Distantly, you manage to spot Hannah’s silhouette, a smile spreading on your lips. Slowly but steadily, you try to make your way towards your friend, bodies bumping against yours. After a particularly strong shove, you stumble back. A hand curls around your wrist, attempting to steady you.

You turn your head in the direction of your aggressors, lips parting to snap at him. “Hey! Watch where you’re—”

Your voice falters inside your throat, e/c eyes caught staring at his messy light brown hair, so familiar, so—

“My bad,” Blue eyes meet with your own. Not green— blue. An unfamiliar blue. The stranger straightens, looking back at you apologetically. “you okay?”

You inhale sharply. It’s not him. Your grip tightens around your plastic cup. It’s just some guy— it’s not him. But the mental image is already there. And, before you know it, you’re back at your dorm, throwing punches, kicks—

Don’t make me do this.

His words scratch against your ears like sandpaper. Your throat grows tight and your stomach drops. You don’t like this. Your empty cup crinkles in your grip. You need to get another drink.

The guy with the blue eyes raises a brow, reaching out for you again. You flinch, shaking your head. “Yeah. Fine.”

Now that you look closer, he doesn’t even have brown hair. A foul trick of the light. “So, you come here with someone?”

You barely process his questions, quickly walking past him. “I have to go.”

More people stride past you, limbs brushing against limbs. A feeling of claustrophobia rises in your throat. Where the hell is Hannah?

You rise to the tip of your toes, finally spotting her brunette head amongst the sea of partygoers. Finally, you find her, and without missing a beat, you link your arm around hers.

“Hi there,” she beams, her makeup glowing prettily underneath the colored lights of the party.

“Hi Hannah,” You exhale, leaning your head against her shoulder. Hannah only continues her conversation with some other guy or girl you can’t even bring yourself to care about, easily welcoming your presence.

Under any regular circumstances, being around your close friends, particularly Hannah, tends to relax you. Ease you, in a way. Perhaps a part of you was hoping it would work. And yet, despite basking in Hannah’s calming presence, your heart still beats at an erratic pace. Your throat feels like it has stones lodged inside it.

Don’t make me do this.

This isn’t working. This is not working.

Your gaze shifts to Hannah’s face, before turning away and finding Hannah’s red cup. Without a beat to question your own actions, your hand is curling around it and bringing it to your lips.

Hannah turns to you, scoffing. “Bro—”

You shake your head, before offhandedly adding, “Trust me, I need this more than you do.”

You swallow down its contents with a worrying speed, the burn of alcohol making its way down your throat. The brunette furrows her brows, pausing for a moment. “Hey, are you okay?” Hannah asks. “You don’t look…” Her voice becomes softer, careful. You don’t quite manage to figure out what she’s saying as her words become white noise.

You’ve been drinking enough that the ground doesn’t exactly feel steady. And yet, despite having your thoughts clouded by a thick fog, you still can’t seem to leave behind last night’s events.

What’s it gonna take? You ask yourself. What the hell do I have to do? But instead of drawing an answer, the same image that’s been engraved onto your mind flashes once again.

His hair. His eyes. His freckles. His nose. His lips. That’s the person you’ve hated for months. The one behind the mask. The one that’s made your life impossible.

Dream. But is it right to keep calling him that?

“...Clay.”

You can’t tell if it’s because of the loud music or the amount of drinks you’ve had, but over the noise both around you and inside your head, you only barely hear Hannah saying ‘something-something Clay’.

In a drunk haze, and a brilliant moment of word association, you straighten. “Y’know what? Fuck that dude.” Your hand latches onto Hannah’s shoulder as she hurries to steady you. “Yeah, fuck Clay!”

As it turns out, the reason as to why Hannah had said something-something Clay, was because Clay was, as a matter of fact, standing behind you.

You turn around, e/c eyes meeting with those— those fucking green ones. You used to find them pretty. Now they only make you angry. You raise a finger, pointedly jabbing his chest with it. “Fuck you, Clay.”

Perhaps your words are too slurred, or maybe he simply doesn’t care. Either way, he disregards your words. He licks his lips, hands resting along your waist to steady you— and when did that happen?

He exhales loudly. “I’m taking you home.”

You try to shove him back. A voice inside your head tells you to summon a shield and put some distance between the two of you. “No, I don’t wanna leave.” You snap at him.

“You’re drunk.”

You scoff loudly. “Yeah, so? What are you gonna do about it, big guy? Arrest me?”

Clay’s shoulders tense. Once again, instead of responding, he turns to Hannah. “Hey, Hannah, I’m driving her to her dorm, yeah?” He nudges his head towards what you guess has to be the main entrance. “Text me when you guys get home.”

Hannah breathes out, offering a smile with a thumbs up. “You’re a lifesaver.”

You want to tell her that no, he’s a liar. Worse than a liar. Instead, all you manage is, “Yeah, what a hero he is, isn’t he?”

“Okay, that’s it.” Clay runs a hand through his hair, a nervous habit. Except he doesn’t look nervous. What? Is he scared you’re gonna scream his secret identity off the rooftops? Is that it? Maybe you should. “You wanna be mad at me? Fine. But I’m not letting you take a cab when you can barely stand on your feet.”

“I can call Wilbur,” you retort.

“Yeah, you could,” he responds, this time matching your tone.

You hold each other’s gazes for a few seconds. You used to love his green eyes. You once told them they were pretty. It was true— you did find them pretty. Now they only make you sad.

Something inside you cracks. It doesn’t break. It doesn’t splinter. It simply cracks. It tugs heavy at your heart, and you have to look away from him.

You stare at something, anything, nothing over his shoulder, still feeling his gaze on you. Your heart grows heavier and heavier, so much so that it feels as if it might sink, or snap, or break. “Whatever. Where’s your car?”

The air in Clay’s car feels heavy. The radio plays some song you vaguely know, its beat the only thing filling the awkward silence that has piled between you. You can’t remember the last time you felt like this around him.

You lean your head against your palm, eyes focused on the view from your window. You don’t know why you agreed to come with him in the first place.

You can feel Clay inhale sharply as he finally asks, “How’d you do it?” He gives you a quick glance before turning back to the road. An exhale of disbelief escapes his lips. “You kicked my ass.”

You don’t look back at him. “It’s basic self-defense.” Your words sound cold. “You were breaking and entering”

Clay straightens in his seat. “You took self-defense?”

This time, you turn to him. “No, Clay, I learnt watching youtube tutorials.” Sarcasm drips from your lips like poison.

He shakes his head, a small breath escaping his lips. One of his hands curls around the steering wheel while the other rests loosely between the two of you. He stares ahead, and while he’s distracted, you try to memorize his side profile. The line of his jaw, the bridge of his nose. Try to imagine his face behind the mask every time you encountered him. Every time you fought against him. Every time he’s fought against you.

“You’re staring.”

You feel heat crawling onto the tip of your ears. You scoff. “Y’know, I’m just wondering how I never saw it before.” He briefly meets your gaze, him almost looking confused. “You’d think it would take more than just a mask to turn into a self-righteous asshole.”

“Why is drunk you so much meaner than the usual you?” The car stops at a red light.

“It’s not the alcohol, it’s the company.”

Clay’s hand tightens around the steering wheel. He looks frustrated. He looks exhausted. “Look Y/N, I don’t know what you want me to do, okay?” His voice wavers by the end of his sentence. “Yes, I have another life. Yes, I’m Dream. Yes, I lied to you about it.” His jaw clicks shut, as if bracing himself. His frustrated tone of voice grows softer. “But I did it for a good reason.”

“And what reason is that?”

“To—” he swallows a frustrated sound, his voice almost rising from his usually calm tone. “To protect you.”

You laugh. For the first time in what feels like forever, you laugh. It feels twisted, and sharp, and wrong. “To protect me? No, no, this isn’t about me, Clay.” You lean closer to him, tilting your head challengingly. “Or Dream? Do you like it better when I call you that?”

“You don’t get it.” He sounds exasperated, but there’s an edge to his voice. His green search your gaze for something he doesn't seem to find. “Do you know how many times I was this close to telling you?”

You scoff. “No, Clay, I don’t.”

The light turns green, and it takes him a moment to pull away. He turns back to the road. “Hundreds, okay? Hundreds.” His knuckles tighten around the wheel. “I wanted to tell you, I did. But the— the fear that someone would find out about you and use you against me was— is terrifying.” Clay shakes his head decidedly, “I’m not sorry I didn’t tell you. I’m just sorry you had to find out this way.”

Something burns against your chest. You want to laugh. You want to scream. Instead, you say, “Who is gonna use me against you, Dream?”

“Could you get your head out of your ass for two seconds?” He snaps, jaw tense. “I know you don’t like heroes— I know. But the world out there is dangerous, Y/N. And heroes are the only thing keeping that danger at bay.”

“The only thing?” You want to knock some sense into him. You want to scream and yell and cry. “The only thing? What about those vigilantes, huh? They’re just what?”

“Fucking criminals!” Clay exclaims, and this time you flinch. He must notice it, because regret flashes on his face as soon as he does. He levels his voice. “They’re criminals, Y/N. And I know you’re close to Ranboo, and you might think they’re all like him but they’re not.” He inhales sharply, body stiff. “The others— they take some twisted version of justice into their own hands and decide to play judge, jury and executioner. What about that sounds right to you?”

Criminals. Your best friend thinks you’re a criminal. But it’s not that part that makes your blood boil. That one just hurts.

Who does he think he is to talk about what’s right? What the hell does he know about what’s fair? Breaking news at fucking eleven: life isn’t fair. Nothing about what has happened to you is fair. Nothing about what has happened to your family is right.

The cracks grow deeper, but any trace of sadness that was being held within your chest evaporates into the air. Your body feels hot, uncomfortable, and you need distance, you need space.

“Stop the car.”

“What?”

“Stop the fucking car.”

Despite his initial shock, Clay does as he’s told, stopping his car on the side of the road by some convenience store parking lot. You push the door open as fast as you can, practically jumping off his car. The ground still feels unsteady, but your little exchange with Clay —with Dream— has been enough to sober you up.

“What are you doing?” He calls out.

You fish your phone out of your pocket. “I’m calling Techno.”

“Y/N—”

You turn to look back at him, only to see him standing up from his seat and standing by his door. He doesn’t try to approach you. At the very least, he knows better than that.

You raise your hands. “I know I’m drunk. You can just... stay here until he shows up if that’ll ease your conscience.”

He furrows his brows, almost flinching back. “What? No, wait—”

Your brother finally picks up his phone, and without missing a beat, you say, “Techno? I need a ride.”

His voice sounds distant. “I’m busy. Just drive yourself back.”

You run a hand through your hair, heart still beating inside your ears. “No, I— I’ve been drinking and Hannah was my ride.”

“So?”

“So, I’m not with Hannah, I’m with Clay.” You explain, your voice carrying an exasperated edge.

You can practically see him shrugging, that confused look taking form on his face. “I… still don’t see an issue here.”

“I don’t want to go with him.”

“Why not?”

“I just don’t, Techno.” Your voice cracks, and you can feel tears starting to pool at the corner of your eyes. Don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry. You face your head towards the dark night sky, closing your eyes to avoid any tears from falling. Your voice grows softer, weaker. “Could you please hurry up?”

There’s silence on the other line. For a moment, you almost believe he has hung up. Then, tentatively, you can hear Techno ask, “Did he do something to you?” There’s a dangerous new side to his voice. Paused. Controlled. Cold. “Y/N, if he laid a hand on you I promise—”

You shake your head, despite knowing he can’t see you. “No— no, we just had an argument.”

You hear shuffling on the other line, followed by, “Send me your location.”

You exhale softly. Thankfully. “Okay. Thank you.” You hang up, mentally bracing yourself. Green meet e/c. “He’s on his way.”

There’s a silence now. It’s a new thing. You’ve had arguments before, but over petty things. Certainly nothing as big as this.

He stares at you. You stare at him. It’s a helpless situation. And the question hangs in the air, unspoken— what now?

As always, he starts. “I’m sorry.” He begins slowly, softly. He still stands a good few feet away from you, and despite the distance, you can see him fiddling with his rings. Yet another anxious habit of his. You hate yourself for knowing it. “I know this all must be huge for you— expecting you to understand immediately is a dick move.”

You want to laugh. You want to cry. Because it’s not that, you want to scream. The only thing stopping you from doing so is knowing that he simply won’t get it. Perhaps Clay would have understood if you explained. But Dream?

“I’m not mad that you kept all of this a secret.” It’s the truth. If anything, that’s the one part you understand.

He furrows his brows slightly. “Then what?” Clay lets out a tired breath, his features bordering on desperate. “Because I can fix it, I will, I—”

“Are you proud?” Your question stops him dead on his tracks. Your voice, for the first time feeling crisp, cold, honest. “Of yourself? Of what you do?”

He hesitates. Not because of his answer —that he is sure of— but rather because of the look on your face. A look that tells him he can’t give you the response you want.

“Of course I am.” He says, with a voice so soft it breaks your heart.

“You are?” It sounds like a plea. Like you’re begging for him to reconsider, to say what you want to hear— what you need to hear.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” You wonder if he hears it. If he hears the way your heart cracks with every word that leaves his lips. “We help make the city a better place.”

“A better place for whom?” You sound exhausted. You’ve both been doing this game of cat and mouse for so, so goddamn long. You want him to understand. You need him to understand.

Please, you silently beg him, please.

“For everyone.”

“For everyone.” You repeat, those light words of his landing on you like bricks upon bricks. “What about vigilantes?”

Something flickers in his gaze, something you barely recognize in those green eyes of his. His jaw tightens, a scoff escaping his throat. “What’s with all this talk about vigilantes?”

You barely manage to control your facial expressions. Friends or not, he’s Dream— and Dream’s not dumb. How long can you be sure to keep your identity safe from him? How long until he comes knocking at your door with the police, with the League, with the authorities rallied behind him?

“You and your— your buddies hunt them down like animals.”

“What? No we don’t.” Clay has the gall to look offended.

“Yes, you do.” You insist, voice like gravel. “I’ve seen it. I—” I’ve lived it. “I’ve seen the news. You try to track those people down to then throw them into a jail cell.”

He shakes his head, as if saying, you don’t get it. “That’s completely different.”

“Is it?”

The silence stretches for a beat longer than it should have. He doesn’t answer, and not knowing whether it is because he understands or because he doesn’t want to continue fighting with you makes it worse. So, instead, you take the lead this time.

Your feet guide you to him before you can stop yourself.

“Have you ever stopped to think about the fact that while you and your friends run around in capes and masks searching for vigilantes, there’s bad people — actual bad people — getting away?”

Clay —Dream— stares down at you, and you can see the confusion swimming in his gaze. You can see him desperately trying to understand the why.

Then, suddenly, clarity.

“Is this about Ranboo?”

Your body feels cold. Cold, and empty, and boiling hot at the same time. You feel like sinking, you feel like breaking, you feel like you’re no longer staring back into the eyes of a friend. The question cracks against your skull— just how far would he be willing to go if he knew?

Dangerous, dangerous, dangerous.

“What did you just say?”

The sound of a car door closing makes the two of you jump.

“Hey.”

You hear Techno’s voice before you actually see him. He keeps his hands inside the pocket of his hoodie, pink hair pulled into a loose ponytail. He dismisses Clay almost instantly, eyes centered on you.

“Let’s get you home.”

You inhale. Exhale. You can feel your determination faltering, your walls breaking. You just want to go home. You nod slowly, feeling as Techno’s arm wraps around your shoulders, gently guiding you to his car.

Clay takes an abrupt step forward, yet before the words can leave his throat, Techno stops him midway. His glare is enough to make the green-eyed boy freeze on his spot. “Back the fuck up.” Clay has rarely —if ever— heard Techno swear. It makes him stiffen.

And so, the boy, the hero, the enemy, is left standing helplessly as he watches you drive away.

You cradle the mug of tea between your fingers, carefully tracing its handle with your thumb. You stare down at your undrinked tea, waiting, as if you might find the answer to your troubles ebbing in its surface.

Techno sits opposite to you, fidgeting with his own drink between his palms. It doesn’t surprise you— after all, as fearsome as your brother may be to others, he’s always been awkward for this sort of situations.

He leans against the cabinets, licking his lips. Finally, he asks, “You want to talk about it?”

“No.”

Techno inhales. “Look, this is a safe space, you can—”

“Techno, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but this is painful enough for both of us. Please, don’t bother.”

You meet your brother’s eyes, and he must see something crossing your gaze —something concerning— because the next words out of his mouth are;

“Go talk to Phil.”

Your head shoots up, and heart hammers against your chest like a wild canary trying to break free.

“What?” You ask, voice weak.

He sets down his mug, folding his arms over his chest. “When was the last time you went down?”

You avoid Techno’s gaze, returning to staring down at your tea. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. “I-I don’t think I want to.”

Techno breathes out, as if a heavy, unbearable weight hangs on his shoulders. He knows you’ve avoided the situation for far too long, and he’s allowed you to do so. Because he understood you needed time to heal, time to cope. But it has been months already and you’re still avoiding the basement like the plague.

“You need to face him eventually.” Techno murmurs, voice low enough so that it can only reach your ears. “If it’s any consolation, talking to him has helped me before. It’s not a guarantee, but it could work for you too.”

By the time Techno leaves the kitchen, your tea has gone completely cold. Your heart still beats against your ear drums. That rattled canary inside your chest beats against your ribcage, hands trembling.

You need to face him eventually.

You blink, and your hand is curled around the railing, clutching it as if your life depends on it. The complete and utter darkness of the basement stares back at you mockingly.

When was the last time you went down?

Does this make you a bad daughter? Avoiding Phil like he’s not there, living your life as if what remains below doesn’t haunt you?

“One step at a time,” You whisper to yourself, bracing as you descend one step. You exhale shakily. Inhale. You take the next. Exhale. Inhale. Then the next. And before you know it, you find yourself flicking the light switch as you reach the end of the staircase.

The darkness dissipates, replaced by white fluorescent lighting. Everything looks exactly as the last time you came down. Not a pen out of place, not a handwritten note on a different spot. Vials and journals remain sprawled over the tables— a mess, evidently, but his mess.

You take slow steps, like a spooked toddler, scared the shadows might take form and jump you. Your hand traces his work bench, fingers reaching out for a particular blue post it note.

Note to self: put a door to stop Tommy from sneaking in.

Then, below it, written in a much more careless handwriting,

your doors can’t stop me phil >:D —big man tommy

An amused around reverberates at the back of your throat. Not quite a laugh, but enough to bring the faintest of smiles.

You leave the post-it exactly where you found it, before continuing your path. Finally, you reach the back of the room, where a box of old cassettes lies messily tucked next to a box-like TV.

Bittersweetness laces your heart. Before the incident, you all used to joke that Phil was an old man in his eighties. He never denied it, which just added to the hilarity of it all. He collected all of that junk— tried fixing it too. Wilbur always teased him for being sentimental.

He was always one for lost causes.

You kneel down next to the box. A hand reaches for one, before freezing midway. You look around, expecting, hoping to see someone else down here. When you realize it’s just you, you enter a random cassette into the reader.

The TV is old, older than this house, probably. Still, despite its age, a grainy image finally shows. Blond hair in disarray, beaming blue eyes, and that ever-so kind smile.

Your eyes feel blurry, tears pooling at the corners of your eyes. Your lip trembles.

“Hi, Phil.” You murmur softly, so softly, you’re left to wonder if it ever left your lips.

The grainy image doesn’t respond. It never does.

“Ah, shit, wait—” Phil starts as he accidentally hits one of his tables, a few beakers and samples nearly toppling over. He doesn’t look as tired as he did in some of the other tapes. “Okay, it’s fine, I’ll fix it later.”

He turns to the camera, clasping his hands awkwardly. “Hello!” He says enthusiastically. “This is tape number…” Phil narrows his eyes, glasses nearly falling off the bridge of his nose. If you weren’t focused on Phil himself, you would have noticed the fact that they’re the same glasses Wilbur now wears. “Thirty-two— thirty-three, sorry.”

You shift on the floor, watching as Phil reaches for a folder filled with papers. He scrambles to open a particular page. “According to some of their older records, test subjects were reactive to—” Phil narrows his eyes, a mix of disgust and sourness evident in his expression “—incentive shocks.”

You inhale sharply. Phil scoffs loudly, shaking his head angrily. “Motherfuckers.” He mutters under his breath, momentarily forgetting the camera is there. A beat. He looks back up, offering a sheepish, slightly embarrassed smile.

He raises his brows, dropping the folder onto another pile of papers and notebooks. “Well, today Tommy accidentally shocked Y/N and they accidentally caused a block-wide blackout.” He purses his lips, yet he doesn’t look disappointed. If anything, he looks surprised.

He shakes his head, as if ridding himself of a thought. “As stated in previous logs, Tommy and Y/N’s abilities seem to be more akin to each other than what I originally thought.” Phil pushes his glasses over the bridge of his nose. “No one was hurt— thankfully. The power was out for only a few hours too— so everything turned out okay. It always does.”

He pauses for a moment, briefly glancing up at the camera. Your heart drops to your gut. It always does. You want nothing more than curl against Phil and make him repeat it until you believe it.

Everything turns out okay. It always does. It always does. It always does.

“As for Wilbur and Techno, they both still seem very wary of electricity in general. Cautious.” Phil straightens, lab coat wrinkly. “At first, I thought their wariness had to do with the fact that neither of their skills are energy-based. Upon further inspection, I’ve drawn a different conclusion.”

Phil inhales deeply. Then, exhales. His body is stiff, awkward. Something new edges his voice. “It’s not that Wilbur and Techno harbor an aversion and are borderline scared to interact with electricity, but rather Tommy and Y/N aren’t.”

Phil moves out of frame for a brief second, coming back with an object concealed by his palm. “Wil and Techno still get easily spooked when it comes to Tommy’s accidental shocks, which is why I’ve developed these.” He licks his lips anxiously.

Your eyes don’t linger on the power dampening cuffs. They don’t even stray for a second. No, your whole focus remains on him. On the golden hair he passed down to Tommy. On the easy smile he gave to Wilbur. You want to hug him, and realizing it hurts like hell.

You can’t even remember your life before being adopted by Phil. How the fuck are you supposed to continue without him?

“They’re still a prototype, but dampening cuffs should help Tommy slowly ease into his powers without sudden outbursts that he can’t control.” Phil’s steady voice continues undisturbed, “It should also give them a semblance of normalcy.”

You’re no longer listening. He continues talking, gesturing, reading off notes and discarding them. He looks happy. He looks alive.

“I’ll be recording any future progress in the following tapes,” Phil finalizes, and the tape cuts off.

Your reflection stares back at you. Your cheeks look wet. You’re crying, you realize, when did that happen?

“I’m sorry,” You whimper, voice fragmented. There’s no response. “I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry Phil.”

Your hand trails around the box of cassettes. Some are labeled, others aren’t. There’s at least forty in the box, and you know for a fact there’s more boxes somewhere in the lab.

“I should have come sooner,” You croak, “I shouldn’t have waited until something went wrong to come here.” Stray tears roll down your cheeks and gravel grazes against your throat. “I’m sorry.”

There’s so many things you want to say. So many things you need to say. But your body won’t let you. Your voice abandons you, and you can’t continue apologizing.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

Why is it that good people are the ones getting caught in this bullshit? He didn’t deserve this. None of you deserved this.

So why? Why is it that good people end up dead? Why is it that good people like your family end up suffering the consequences of someone else’s greed?

Your voice returns to you, but not for apologies.

“Would you recognize what I’ve become?” You lean against the TV screen, helpless. “What we’ve become?” You lick your lips, a bitter laugh rasping against your windpipe. “Would you still love us?”

Would he? Phil was gone long before he got to see the real extent of the lengths you’ve all gone through to set things right. Would he be proud? Would he be ashamed?

“We’ve done so much fucked up shit, Phil.” You whisper, vision blurry with tears. “We’ve tortured. We’ve lied. We’ve stolen. We—” You falter, licking your lips as the lump inside your throat grows heavier. “We’ve tried to kill.”

“And you wanna know the worst part?” You look down at your hands. You can’t look him in the eyes when you say this. He wouldn’t understand. “I don’t regret any of it.” You laugh again, that bitter, saddened, poor excuse of a laugh. “We’ll do it again soon, if everything goes accordingly.”

You rest your forehead against the TV, the image of your father frozen with a grainy quality. You can barely tell the bright blue of his eyes, not that you’d ever be able to forget it.

“I just want this to end,” you murmur. “I want us to finish with this cycle once and for all. I want this to be over.” You look up to meet Phil’s grainy gaze. “I want things to go back to the way they were.”

And fuck, here come the tears again.

“I didn’t ask for this,” you cry. You ugly sob, your cries scratching against your throat like sandpaper. Like stones lodged against your throat. “I didn’t ask for any of this.”

I know you didn’t, he would say, his fingers combing through your hair in a calming pattern. He would hug you as you cried your eyes out, his embrace capable of soothing the troubled storm within your chest. You’ve been so strong for your brothers. For yourself. He would continue tracing his fingers through your hair, watching as you breathed shakily.

I’m proud of you.

Your eyes flutter closed. You shake your head against the screen as you whisper to him, “I don’t think you are.”

You can feel his palm against your back, rubbing soothing patterns. It only makes it worse.

“We wanted to do good, Phil, we really, really did.” You try, you try to justify everything. Everything you’ve done, everything you’re going to do. “We tried, for a while.”

“I guess…” A blue glow curls around your hands for a moment, before flickering back to normal. It has become easy to forget where your powers came from. “I guess when powers like these are birthed from violence, it shouldn’t be a surprise we ended up where we are, huh?”

You purse your lips, watching as the blue returns to your palms. Is it easy to forget, or have you simply forced yourself into ignoring the source of your so-called gift?

You stare back at the screen. Phil stands there, staring back at you with those bright blue eyes of his and that golden hair.

You barely mention him anymore. Not you, not Tommy, not Wilbur, not Techno. It’s like you’re all in some twisted form of collective denial. Like he’s on some business trip, and you’re all waiting for him to come back. Like you didn’t bury him months ago. Like you weren’t even able to give him a proper funeral.

It makes things easier. Anger was easier than grief. It was less messier than tears, than misery, than hopelessness. Anger was better than guilt.

“We’re gonna kill the people that did this to us, Phil.” You say, and this time, your voice doesn’t waver. You wipe your cheeks with your sleeve, nodding. “For what they— for what we did to you.”

You finally separate from the screen. Your finger hovers over the on-off button.

“We’re gonna make this right.”

#[how the mighty fall] series #dream smp imagine #dream smp x reader #dani writes mcyt #dani writes dream smp #mcyt x reader #dreamwastaken x reader #dreamwastaken x you #dreamwastaken imagine #dream x reader #dream imagine #dani writes dreamwastaken

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ssahotchnerr · 2 years

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okay so my idea was that reader is the first girl that hotch has dated since haley died and they’ve been together for a while when he says he’s ready to take it to the next level, and just as it starts he loses it, starts crying, and she comforts him and asks if he wants to continue and the rest is up to you! i love hurt and comfort.

omg i will cry

tw; nsfw, mentions of death, grief

please this would be such a bittersweet moment for aaron :( <3 he would be so excited to take the next step in your relationship but the guilt would so overwhelming at first. like yes he and haley have been separated for a while, but his first time after would result in so many different emotions all at once, revolving around both you and haley. he would have mentally prepared himself for this too, but that’s nothing compared to it actually happening.

of course, you would immediately comfort him and profusely assure him that if he isn’t ready yet, there’s perfectly nothing wrong with that. but he would feel. so. bad. because of haley of course, but he also wouldn’t want you to question where your relationship is at with him; he would be so scared that it would somehow make you feel as if you aren’t enough or doing enough. but that’s not true! this would definitely result in the two of you talking it out, regardless if you both move forward in this particular moment.

and if he feels comfortable enough to take that next step, (or just whenever he does) the two of you would have the sweetest sex ever ohmygod <3 he would take suchhh good care of you and vice versa. you would constantly check in on him to make sure he’s still doing alright and given this is the first time he’s had sex again since haley, and it’s with you, he’s way more than alright. the guilt is gone, and he’s solely focused on making sure he’s making you feel good and focused on just you overall. and after this, he definitely doesn’t hesitate to initiate anything in the future <3

i know this isn’t in like a fic format or anything so i hope that suffices! this is literally just my starting point and hopefully i get better as time goes on!! 🫶🏻 so y’all better keep sending in thoughts hehe

#this aaron era makes me so 🥺#if only cm focused more on the characters because this would've been so interesting to see aaron maneuver through </3 #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner #criminal minds #aaron hotchner x smut #hotch x reader

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chihirolovebot · 11 months

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okay okay prepare for my ranting but OHHHHHHHHHMYGOD i just love your writing so so much.

you just AHSHSTGGFF ARE SOOOOO GOOD AT GETTING THE READER HOOKED. I SWEAR . ITS UNREAL.

no joke . i’ve reread sleep awake probably about 4 times now. it has been on my mind for the past month. send help .

I LOVE LOVE LOVE physicist’s relationship dynamics with the rest of the cast. thank goodness we’re not isolated with kokichi the whole story. ohmygod. i think i’d die.

i feel like . phys could really do with a massive cry in rantaro’s arms. he became a brotherly figure so quickly for them and AUGHHHthey make me so upset. him preventing a meltdown too?? WAAAAAHHH … gotta love him for that. hopefully we’ll get to see more of him in here is where my body lies .

SPEAKING OF THAT. i’m looking forward to seeing the bad endings / alternate universes in it. like … if kirumi killed phys. or korekiyo succeeded in killing phys. or …if kokichi didn’t walk in when gonta attempted to kill phys . ohmygod. phys almost died a lot. i hope we get to see how everyone reacts. ANYWAY i can’t wait to see phys and the others be happy. what the hell. i need this in my life.

back to friendship dynamics….the trio recently formed by BELIEVING in phys??? is just AUGHHHHH SO SO CUTE. THEY HAVE MY HEART. I WANNA GIVE THEM ALL A HUG.

and…with the main man himself …. WOW. just. WOW. their dynamic is everything. they make me wanna cry. they are married. they are divorced. they are nerds. they are losers. they are. my everything. they are

“And yet—this deal he’d made you. That was trust, naked and unmistakable. That was far more than he’d offered anybody else. Everything else aside, Kokichi trusted you. Wasn’t that enough?

If the small pit in your stomach was anything to go by—no, it wasn’t. And you didn’t know why”

WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH THEY JUST MAKE ME SICK. SO SICK. i’m really curious how phys will react to kokichi’s plan for *you know what* or that he’ll just keep them in the dark. again. because he knows they wouldn’t let him? I DONT KNOW. whatever it is. i’m not ready for it.

despite the tears that i’m gonna shed in the future ……..IM EXCITED TO SEE THE NEXT CHAPTERS PLAY OUT. im looking forward to the changes you’re gonna make in chapter 6. really curious what that’s gonna be .

you’ve captured kokichi’s character to a tee and i can’t get enough of it i swear .

i love that phys has autism too. like. if it isn’t completely obvious by now. so do i and it’s just. wow. THEY R JUST LIKE ME!!!!

also. i’m very excited to see where you take that persona 5 fic. wink wink.

ANYWAYS LOVE YOU FOR THIS. THIS IS THE BEST FIC I’VE READ EVER . I COULD GO ON AND ON ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE IT. GOODBYE .

HELLO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HELLO .

ur so kind this is like. one of the sweetest asks ive ever received i was pacing all day and im just answering now because i wanted to have the time to write out a thoughtful response because ohhghgh my god u made my absolute week with this thank you SO much my angel !!!!!

starting this story it was so important to me that like . phys has Other Friends. i think i mentioned this before but i think a big part of the story is that Ouma's mindset is wrong and unhealthy which is definitely starting to be examined this late in the story and like. the way he goes about doing stuff is definitely (mostly) well-intentioned but his mindset and philosophies are so Off and Wrong that i think ONLY having his mindset to influence Phys would a) ensure that phys only develops in a way that makes them more like him, which is NOT good because his mindset is wrong and unhealthy, and b) would make them extremely lonely when that isnt what i want the story to be about. if i COULD i would go back and give them some more interaction with momota because he's ouma's foil character, but i like him giving phys advice and phys taking on bits of his philosphy, too. they basically take an amalgamation of their friends' perspectives and learn to have a healthier outlook that way. so yeah . its super important for phys to have friends, especially optimistic ones like momota, kiibo and chabashira .

MY BODY LIES!!!! i haven't forgotten about this, just planning on properly starting it after i finish sleep awake's main story because between that , my p5 fic, and my jojo fic its kind of A Lot. but amami will DEFINITELY be a prominent character in it because i love his and phys's relationship so much. i tried to stretch it as much as possible in the original story before i knew i had to kill him off :(( and YEAH so i think a bad ending will be the first chapter which will probably be if shinguuji succeeded in his murder attempt , mostly focusing on the aftermath and the effect it has on the rest of the characters which . was pretty heavy for a first chapter so i may make it the second instead lmao.

I CANT SAY MUCH ABT FUTURE STUFF but i CAN say that some of ch5 and a fair amount of ch6 will be different and im super excited to show you what i have in store for it !!! the tone i'm going for is bittersweet so . hopefully that tides you over for a bit :3

the new trio... the phys apostles as i'm calling them. they're so silly to me. something about each of them knowing phys in very unique ways . kiibo seeing phys as soon as they woke up and always being the first to believe in them , chabashira seeing phys after they killed shinguuji and being the only person to see that side of them, and saihara being a sort of mirror to phys's grief in the early chapters after they both lost the most important person to them ( at that time ). i thought it made sense that they would all be a little more reluctant to believe that phys had been totally brainwashed because they all have a lot more respect for them than that , and also just . know them better as a person than the others , who are definitely still well-intentioned , just ignorant.

ouma... my little freakweirdo bf . characterising him is such a challenge but im so so happy you enjoy how i've done it !!!! physouma's dynamic is my favourite i've ever written in anything, i think . it's exactly like you said !!! they're constantly on this weird emotional journey where phys is attempting to get closer and ouma is attempting to distance himself but its not working because they both care about each other so much and like. yeah . they make me a bit insane too . writing phys slowly discovering their feelings has been super fun too . i usually dislike the oblivious love interest trope because more often than not it feels like it's played for miscommunication problems BUT i feel like with ouma it only makes sense because like . its impossible to know where you stand with ouma even if he straight-up says 'im in love with you' you'd just be like ?? yeah ok buddy sure. good one . you got me.

autistic phys is so real to me as i obviously also have autism and . i was projecting super hard when i created them teehee. THE PERSONA FIC !!!! i know its been a while since i updated but i AM working on the next chapter its definitely not abandoned :3

THANK U AGAIN SO SOSOSOS MUCH FOR THIS . I HOPE UR HAVING THE BEST DAY EVER <333

#dear venus.#🏚.sleep awake

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witchy-aunt · 19 days

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Okay so has anyone ever seen the madness I watched on Amazon prime due to auto play that is Shrieker 1998?? Because literally the movie makes no sense and sucks and besides that the characters are all so fucking silly to me so like you have;

Elaine who’s only personality trait is that she’s quiet, and for some reason she’s on the front of the poster for the movie.. she’s also the movie only real sex appeal because of the singular scene with her shirt off which is featured in the cover

David the perpetually angry untrusting guy whos honestly pretty reasonable the entire movie

Mike whos just really straight (no he literally has to make this apparently clear for humor purposes— he goes on a 30 second defense spiel about how he is straight.)

Tanya who’s only personality trait is that she’s a communist and she wears camo (I so wish I was joking because that feels so outlandish to write)

(My names get messed up here bc I don’t wanna check the IMDb page to check actors names out, but google is making it super confusing because I can’t tell who’s who in the cast from the poster and the photos of the actors available not looking anything like eachother!!)

clark our boring final girl who gets herself in a stupid situation and I cannot feel for like AT ALL

Zak the love interest who’s main personality trait is that he’s dumb and I’m not even entirely convinced he even likes Clark like… I think bro just wanted a fuck buddy and then they got trauma bonded (how all good relationships start)

Robert the bad boy weirdo freak that tells Clark about the shrieker (the creature you summon who kills everyone) but he’s like stupid and I still don’t understand his motives and he tries to be like this deep character but it just doesn’t work!!!

now I have yet to even get into what this movies about, essentially Clark meets Zak who has this abandoned hospital he lives in with the rest of the cast because he can’t pay for a place to live while going to college and Clark is like “ohmygod you guys are so genius I can’t afford to live and I should definitely put college over my own living because that’s a really smart beneficial decision” so whatever that’s that then the next day or whatever this weird ritual shit is found in the Basement and they’re all pointing fingers because Clark just got there and the girls sus!! later on she meets Robert who’s like this weird freak who has secretly been living in the basement and she’s like “omg it’s you doing it isn’t it” and then he educated her on shrieker lore and the shrieker is like this demon guy who literally looks like he came straight from goolies like he looks like an 80s practical effect not a fucking 1998 films n she has to keep it all secret or whatever while remaining extremely eus and then everyone fucking died and Robert turns out to be crazy and Clark ends up with zak and movie over but like WTF?? Like I don’t.. what? Like why? I’m also still so confused about the shrieker and his lore and the symbols like it’s all so stupid and I need someone to watch this so they know what I also had to endure.

#Shrieker #Shrieker 1998 #bad horror #horror #Movies #horror movies #horror rant #movie rant

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ssreeder · 11 months

Note

WE’RE BACK IN BUSINESS BABYYYYYY

hi sreedie :3

fuck you sreedie no zukka cuddles >:(

but also… maybe not fuck you, it depends on what we DO get in this chapter… you’re on THIN ICE

on another note, I love jee <3

surely just like employ some of the kyoshi warriors to be dishwashers??

pls tell me why when rasu was like “I can sniff whatever I want” I immediately went COCAINE T-T

oh ?? jee what did you DO omg spill bestie

I KNEW jee was a slay, he’s also sus of iroh’s methods

LMAO jee wdym you “know that prince zuko was not into men” literally HOW would you know that information T-T

but anyways yes I’m loving that the hair touching is making a COMEBACK bc I absolutely adore how the fire nation views hair and all the glorious nuances that come with it ughhhhhh… now I’m mad again about shen being dead bc his reaction to the haircut sitch was ICONIC

YOOOOO JEE NOTICED IT TOO SREEDIE I THINK JEE MIGHT BE MY SOULMATE HE ALSO SAW HOW SOKKA HAS ABSORBED ZUKOS PERSONALITY TRAITS WHILE ZUKO IS OUT OF COMMISSION

not jee being offended about the perceived slight agains his cooking skills-

here come the iroh thoughts… I will add them at the end (or potentially in another ask??? I don’t want this to be more mammoth than usual)

OH SHIT OH NO OH FUCK OH ZUKO IS GONNA FIND OUT THAT JEE KILLED SHEN oh okay at least jee has some common sense !! good for him

LMAO not jee being a gossip queen (truly my soulmate, this is actually why we got divorced sreedie you can’t compare)

“dumpling boy” ohmygod obsessed

A TEABAG why is that fucking hilarious pls tell me you have some kind of fire nation lore behind that insult

the reading scene is so sweet ;-; and like I know from second hand experience that being read to when you can’t read yourself is a Huge Deal bc when my cousin had a major back operation our aunt read to her for HOURS daily and it literally bonded them so much. so like, very important scene sreedie you’ve got me in my feels (and I’m WAITING IMPATIENTLY for rasu and zuko to become besties again)

wow the “delivered” part is so gut wrenching. that’s really the tragedy of war isn’t it? everyone just becomes a pawn unless they’re one of the chess players themselves

LMAO not the kiddos getting into fisticuffs upstairs and disturbing one of the most politically tense conversations in the fic

OH SHIT HAKODA LETTERS OMG THE PLOT IS PLOTTING SREEDIE ITS PLOTTING

ohnooooooo stop I’m so fucking sad about hakoda and thinking katara was ignoring him on purpose STOP

ah fuck sokka trauma reveal xxxx

literally so siblings to have bled and shit on each other. something something I’ve had the worst parts of you inflicted on me but I have to love you anyway

sokka trauma time !!

damn baby’s first kill… forgot about the warden tbh

“everyone is always trying to kill zuko” so true bestie they should stop!! stop trying to kill zuko fr omg!! (read that like that one tweet where that white girl was telling isis to stop terrorism lmao)

“what sokka had experienced had layers” LIKE AN ONION please why am I unable to take anything seriously anymore it’s bad

CHANG CHANG CHANG CHANG is the chang bato ship called chato or bang OMG BANG THATS ICONIC love that we’re sticking with it

(in case it wasn’t already obvious I love chang btw)

lmao chang said end sexism in the grumpiest grouchiest way possible

ykw I’m a fan of?? the fact that hakoda has the brain to plan like sokka but the resources to plan like zuko and I think that it’s fucking hilarious

“speak for yourself I’m in fucking agony” I LOVE CHANG I DEDICATE MY LIFE TO CHANG I GIVE CHANG MY WHOLE HEART

ohohohoho sokka you are actually going to be CLOSER to zuko isn’t that dandy

omg eve ;-; our lovely forest lesbians ;-; that you MURDERED

NO ZUKKA CUDDLES BUT ZUKKA WAVE??!!?!?! call me a masochist but I’m enjoying this. anyways.

ZUKKA AND CHANG REUNION OMFG I WILL CRY especially zuko chang reunion ;-; (do Not get me started on my feelings on chang vs iroh) ((jokes I will be talking about in a soon to be sent ask))

also obsessed with sokka having active beef with jee and jee is just like… this kid needs therapy ~cue rbf~

YES MY BBYGORL AZULA READY TO FUCK SHIT UP (but yeah can she pls hold off for a tad longer thx sm <3)

okokok I’ll get onto my iroh thoughts now (in another ask.. bc uh.. this is Huge) but that’s gonna take a hot minute bc I have to become Coherent.

also no longer sick!! for now. (I probably should’ve gone to see a dr much sooner anyways but too late now ig)

HUGS KISSES AND A DRAMATIC HAIR FLIP TO BID YOU FAREWELL <333

*dances on thin ice*

OLLLOOOOO LEEKIE

Yes Jee offend the group of women warriors by asking them to come wash dishes hahaha…. Nice one leekie!

Jee sailed on a ship with Zuko for 3 years… & during that time his gaydar must have broken (I feel like we can blame Zuko for breaking it somehow)

Oh iroh…. You silly silly man <3

I think rasu reading to Zuko meant a lot to him so hopefully baby steps in the right direction ;)

Hahaha it’s ok the onion joke & the sand joke legit never stop…. Damn it media for influencing words so much.

Haha Chang iroh interaction is something I’m looking forward to. It’ll be INTERESTING ;;);)

Ok leekie I’m sorry I know I said I would respond yesterday but I’m a horrible person and this is why we’re divorced! GLAD YOURE NOT SICK ANYMORE WOHOOOO

*sprinkles germs in your food*

#gotta keep things interesting ya know #I am curious your thoughts on iroh #I fucking lovvveee writing Chang #I’ll have a Sokka pov and he is like ANGST ANGST ANSGT ANGSTTTT #Then it switches to Chang and he’s like fuck off baby girl #damn I’m looking forward to Chang Zuko reunion lol #idk about the chang Sokka reunion though #Sokka is not very understanding right now #& yeah he thinks Chang is dead so he hasn’t had time to dwell #but when Chang shows up alive…. ahhhh #it could get rough #I love the drama so it’ll be fine ;)#LOVE YOU LEEKIE #LIAB #ITF #hiiii leekieeeeee #leekie tag #ASK

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faszaakisshobbi · 1 year

Text

March TC Challenge 20-26

do you feel guilty about having feelings for your tc? hell yeah i feel terrible. why am i so attached to these poor women ohmygod 😭 i mean i have my suspicions that the attachment is from trauma and possible emotional abuse and things i lacked as a kid and currently lack now. but idk i still feel really bad. and i also don’t know how i see either of them. like pls stop thinking abt some nsfw things w/ them this isn’t helping things 💀

are you insecure about them liking another student more than you? for П i know i’m her favorite because it’s completely obvious. but i don’t want to be replaced but i know it’s inevitable now that i’m transferring schools. with Б i have never seen her interact with any other students other than this one kid because she doesn’t teach in a school setting. but im very sure i’m not even close to most liked. i want to be her favorite though.

what kind of hairstyle would you love to see them in? uhh idk. П cuts her hair once a year 😭😭 to a really short bob cut and i wish she kept it consistently that short bc it looks so good and really fits her!! and years ago Б had REALLY short hair like a pixie cut. i didn’t meet her when she had hair that short but it looked really good and i wanna see her hair like that again!

do you think they trust you? i go into Б’s house for 3ish hours a week for lessons and i’ve baby-sat her son so i think she trusts me lol. no but seriously she’s talked a lot about her mental health and i just know she doesn’t do that with everyone. and for П she tells me some pretty personal stuff about her and we’ve texted on her personal number. she is comfortable hugging me unlike with almost other students. so i think she trusts me.

what's the most comedic moment that's occurred between you two? i can’t currently remember anything with П because there are so many moments that just blur together. but for Б one time recently she was super enthusiastic and then she stabbed me with her viola bow pretty hard and she leaned in to make sure i was okay and i accidentally hit her and we were both laughing a bunch.

have you ever drawn them or written about them to vent your feelings? i’ve drawn both of them. Б i drew much more successfully but i think i’ve drawn П more. i wanna write but i lack motivation lmao.

how do you feel when you're around them? are you so nervous that you can't concentrate, or do you just feel happy that you get to spend time with them? with П i can try to convince myself that when i’m alone with and/or physically close to her i’m fine, but i’m not. sometimes the way she looks at me is the most distracting thing in the middle of a piece, especially recently. now with Б i was nervous at first but i really do just love being around her. she brings me so much joy.

#teacher crush #female teacher crush #female tc #tc crush #tc love #tc community #tc feelings #tc post #tc blog #teacher attachment #teacher crush community #teacher x student #tc challenge #tc confessions

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joelsgreys · 1 year

Note

Just finished reading 'Baile con mi ex' and ohmygod- Javier has me so down bad for him.

I really loved your Javier. I love how inexperienced he is when it comes to relationships, being a bit possessive (which I think he would be) and just how fast he jumped into conclusions. My boy never felt true love for someone, he only knows how to love pussy- so it makes a lot of sense for him to be trigger so easily.

I loved this angst with Javi. When I read "He definitely fucked up" I was already thinking he cheated on her (bad on me, i gotta trust him JWJS) or something i literally scream "malparido" so loud. I thought my sis was gonna walk on me freaking out at my phone 😓 and then it came the emotional part, his point of view, I melted so fast. My soft spot for emotional grumpy men was consuming my heart, just like reader i forgave him, no futher questions. That man has my whole heart, he can do whatever he wants 🤠💗

I love it so much, your Javi definitely won my heart tonight 💗💗

Okay, enough of me vomiting my feelings about your great fic. I hope you have a good night/day, you made my night with this fic, now I can sleep giggling about Javi 😌💗

Btw I loved the song! I need to get back to listening to Becky, i swear her music keeps getting better and better-

AH isn’t it such a good song?! And I LOVE the message behind it although now it kind of stings when I listen to after what Becky’s POS boyfriend/fiancé (hopefully now EX because from what I saw she hasn’t been wearing her ring) did to her 💔 she’s a queen and deserves the world

I MEAN LOOK AT HER 🥵

okay sorry moving on

I’m so glad you looked my Javi because PHEW that is one intimidating man to try to write!

loved this angst with Javi. When I read "He definitely fucked up" I was already thinking he cheated on her

tbh I ALMOST went that route and this fic was not going to have a happy ending and then I was like you know what let’s save that amount of angst for a rainy day lmao

thank you so much for reading bb! 🩷🫶🏼

#vee answers mail 💌

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nakaharaswife · 2 years

Note

Steya,you sweetie.

I think you may know what time it is now,but either way i’ll still tell youuuu.This is the time for a very special union.It is the time for a proposal,to a very very sweet person. U may ask urself,w h y ?! Aaaaaa,it is simple and yet,not so much. u are many things,but one of them is being comforting,as much as someone can be.and comforting may sound like a simple word,but it isn’t. comforting means u are kind,funny,considerate,nice,lovely,wonderful,the cutest person ever(along with ur freckles),and much more. Aaaaa !!! U are ur own magical world and i love discovering it <333 I just u to be happy and i’d give u the world if it means u can feel no more sadness or any kind of bad feeling.

Now, it is….time. I’m here kneeling before you with a ring as pretty as u and stressing out asking you as fondly as I can: Would u do me the honour,the joy,the miracle of marrying me u miya kinnie ?!!!!!! (u can only say yes or yes) 💗💗💗

IM ALSO ADDING THIS CROWN TO THE PROPOSAL BECAUSE URE A QUEEN AND ILL ALWAYS BOW BEFORE YOU OKAY 💝💘💖💞💗

I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUU <33333333

raven <3

hold on one second i need to blink back tears alr okay cool

i am so in love with you ohmygod

squealing,crying,cannot function,blushing profusley I AM IN CLASS I CANT STOP SMILING <33333

i just.... you are so awesome. like truly, i was having such a bad week and being able to talk to you made it so so so much better <3 i genuinely dont think you realise how much of a comfort you are to me ahhh ily :D

im literally crying of course i will !!!!

AHHH THE RING IS SO AHHH

AND THE CROWN I CANT IM GONNA START SOBBING ILY ILY ILY ILY ILY

I LOVE YOU TOOOOOO <3333333

#i havent stopped smiling for the past 30 mins #i also rewrote this like .... 10 times ....#so thats why i took so long im sorry 😭#this #literally means sm #like so much #ily <3

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allkinds-oftrash · 1 year

Text

The Crown S5E4 Commentary

Non-Spoiler Gist: I have been WAITING for this episode! It wasn’t as dramatic as I expected but I still enjoyed it! There was an unexpected plot with Margot I really enjoyed and it was a great introspective episode for Lizzie. I LOVED the self-awareness all of them had in this episode.

Spoilers Under Cut:

Oooh interesting choice starting at the end of the year and her getting ready to give the speech Lmaoo "She's not getting the sympathy she wants" I'M CACKLING

Aights let's go 1992 please deliver the drama

Oooh we're starting with Margaret also I forget how religious some of them are then they talk abt their faith Margot you keep smoking like that you're going to be dead in 10 years 🤡🤡 (Bad joke Ik I'll see myself out)

OHMYGOD IS THAT OLD TOWNSEND?? IT IS I'M SCREAMING! I loved them so much in S1

Ahahah Lizzie "I'm not sure it was love" She's funny when she wants to be "Why what's it to you" LMAO these sisters I swear

Ohmygod is that Andrew?? Ew it is WHY DID THEY MAKE HIM ATTRACTIVE NO STOP IT PETER MORGAN He does look like irl Andrew and Tom Byrne (young Andrew) props to the casting dept once again

He's so cavalier about Sarah's affairs I can't??? This is kinda funny ngl SHE SAID SHE DIDN'T WANNA KNOW AND THEN HE PROCCEEDED TO TELL HER DJLDJSK I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING Also don't you dare sneer at Sarah in Saint Topaz Andrew we all know you were probably at Epstein's Island He's okay with sexual harassment/assault and pedophila but putting someone's foot in his mouth is where he draws the line???

GOOD BE HUMILIATED you prick The D word LMAO Andrew you're a grown ass man, say Divorce Lizzie you damn well know those aren't the words Ahhahahah the way he said "Divorce, Mummy" he sounded like Adele I'm screaming

I take it back, THIS IS THE WORST PERSON I know who made a great point. Gotta applaud him for being self aware about destroying anyone who is different in this family

Lmaooo Margot's start to that letter, hilarious Oh there he is - Townsend. I'm too happy to see him back to complain too much abt how he doesn't really look like his predecessor

Awww Anne and Tim she's so in love with him. Honestly one of their redeeming qualities is their love for one another.

Margot is having the time of her life; good for her! Omg my hearttt I forgot the chokehold Margot and Townsend had on me zhksnsks

LMAO “FERGIE'S STOLEN” headline I'm cracking up Hsjshsj Lizzie is having a ball isn't she. Two children want divorces another one wants to get remarried when the Church forbids it 🤡🤡

Yessss Anne DROP THOSE ENGAGMENT NUMBERS,,, W&K could never 💀💀 I love how derisive she is. She really is a badass, pity that she's most likely a racist

Awww Margot and Townsend's Greatest Hits scenes 😭😭😭 I AM SOFT WELP THAT GOT ANGSTY It was nice to see the young versions again I missed Vanessa Kirby

HAHAHA DI'S BOOK IN CHARLES' FACE as she should be Prince Harming ahahhah Boy I can call you worse things Ew God's law is marriage for life 🤡🤡 God wants yall want to be happy, he told me himself FREEE DIANA Damn Charles go off shskjs

Lmaooo this ep is Favourite's older sister dbdkkd it's all coming around Yes you were a neglectful mother Lizzie you gave them all several parental issues shskks

Who is this man?? Porchey?? Oh lmao no he's a priest

Okay this is the one thing I won't laugh at. I didn't know this year included a castle fire. No one deserved to have their house burnt down no matter how decadent it is.

Holy shit this looks the Baudelaires Mansion after their fire. This is so sad but also amazing set design Holy shit my heart hurts

Not Margo and Townsend taking stock of the paintings xhdkjejd God they're so cuteeeee ny hearttt

Not Margot accusing Di of burning down building LMAO SHE'S LISTING THEM ALL Fair enough Margot nskdksk

NOT HER SAYING HERSELF D a m n the regret and bitterness of having lost Townsend is STRONG Yesss Leslie what a speech!! Holy shit not the parallels between Anne/Tim and Margot/Townsend God I wanna hug Margo Ohmygod she said ittt she called Lizzie the fuck out

Annus Horriblis INDEED

Tbh I really wasn't expecting the Margot of it all but I am living for it (I wanted to see Anne/Mark and Andrew/Sarah's marriages break down further on screen and them announcing the divorces)

"I don't want to pull out" That's what (s)he said 🤡🤡 Not Queen Mother lecturing her on the speech like ma'am your daughter is 66 years old let her do what she wants Not her sneering at Lizzie being depressed God I hate this bitch

Phillip being THE Wife Guy this season is something I did not expect Like he has been since S3 but like it's dialled up even more this season which makes the upcoming affair with Penny even more sad

She said it!! Annus Horriblis! I will say I appreciate this speech from her it humanised her in the eye of the public after years of never saying anything

Girlies named their dogs after alcoholic drinks lmaoo love this for them

Living for the self awareness of being blamed for everything and for most things, it is true Lizzie

The way they said I love you and was like This is too middle class let's never do it again I'm screaming

#The Crown #The Crown Season 5 #The Crown Spoilers

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moon-ursidae · 1 year

Text

SESSION #6

as always, SPOILERS for BOTH of the last of us games below!!!

okay so i want to finish this game before my semester starts on tuesday so i really gotta pick it up haha bc there is still SO MUCH GAME left to play. i haven’t even played as abby yet bros.

total play time: about 6 hours

scavenging is soooo satisfying

but also lonely as fuck without dina

this is probably gonna remind me of the first game of the sections when joel is without ellie and he starts goin ham

FUUUUUCK I DON’T WANNA HURT THE DOGS MAN.

that fucking sucked and i feel awful

i would not be able to live in an apocalypse i have too much empathy

ANUTHA CARD WOOO

again i love the stories being told with the collectibles. it adds so much to the world

oh my god that garage was full of infected lil fuckers

LONG GUN HOLSTER FINALLY

WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE SO MANY GODDAMN SHAMBLERS

NEW BRANCH WOOOOOO

precision?? HOW MANY BRANCHES ARE THERE GODDAMN

I’M PICKING UP ARROWS??? BOW SOON PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I’M BEGGING

oh fuuuuuuuck i feel so bad for this boris guy

i feel like he is also infected in the house i’m currently stood in

damn i was so right

BOOOOOOWWWWWWWW FUCK YEA FINALLY HOLY FUCKING SHIT I’M SO EXCITED

I CAN CRAFT ARROWS?????????

FUUUUUCK DUDE THIS IS DOPE

oh my fucking god i can shoot it while prone.

this is the best day of my life.

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY OF THESE WLFS????

ohmygod i fuckin finished em

holy fuck bro

stealth is WAYYYYY too fun lmao i love it

THERE’S MORE THAT JUST GOT OUT OF A TRUCK??? UR JOKING.

OH MY GOD THERE’S SO MUCH GOING ON AND THE MUSIC IS FUCKIN C R A Z Y

WHO THE FUCK JUST GRABBED ELLIE

JESSE!!!!!!!!!!!

“you think i’d let you do this on your own?” PLEASE THEY ALL CARE ABOUT HER SO MUCH🥺

HE’S LIMPING FUUUCK

HOLY FUCK THIS IS COOL BUT ALSO CRAZY AS FUCK HOLY SHIT

A HORDE?? OH FUCK

CRASHED INTO THE WATER??? THIS IS FUCKING CRAZY DUDE

OUT OF HILLCREST DUDE WE FUCKIN MADE IT WOOOOOOO

oh shit we’re back at the theater?

i love that jesse always hits a stance where he’s leaning

i know ellie isn’t jealous of jesse but rather mad at herself for allowing these people she cares about into a plan that puts them at risk

OH FUCK ANOTHER FLASHBACK????

2 years earlier?? damn so ellie is 17 here?

“i can tell when you’re off.” “let me know if you want to talk about it.” FUUUUCK DUDE THIS IS GONNA MAKE ME CRY TOO🥺

JOURNAL TIME

MORE CAT!

ellie if everyone in jackson knows, joel probably does. he’s got a keen ear

hmmmmm dina is definitely jealous or upset if she’s avoiding you ells

ellie’s so poetic🥹

i’m gonna cry bc of how sweet tommy’s being. i feel like he’s hella underrated. i’m glad we get to see more of him in this game.

“when the barometric temperature gets to.. shit i don’t fuckin know.” LMAOOOOO

“i’m not supposed to say anything, but joel’s worried about you.” classic younger sibling energy

i would know bc it’s me. i’m the younger sibling💀

god this is fucking gorgeous.

THERE HE IS I’M GONNA CRY AGAIN

i wanna know why there’s so much fucking tension between them even before the winter dance. why is ellie distant? is it bc of cat? aftaid that joel will find out? she obviously cares what joel has to think bc she wrote it down in her journal. maybe that’s why?

tommy’s smart for pushing them together to figure out whatever the fuck is goin on rn

LMAO THE LOG BOOK “for those of you wondering, my brother’s still eating with his mouth open. -T.” LMAOOOOOOOO

AND JOEL IS READING SAVAGE STARLIGHT😭

omg i never notice the dark horse comic logo

this is fucking GORGEOUS

i miss joel😭

OMG HE’S TALKING ABOUT SAVAGE STARLIGHT W HER😭😭😭

THIS IS TOO CLOSE TO HOW ME AND MY DAD ARE IT’S MAKING ME SUPER EMOTIONAL

“need a boost?” 😭😭😭😭😭😭

“well hello” “howdy” YYYEEESSSSS

omg wait is this the fuckin patrol ellie mentioned w dina WAYYYYYYY earlier???

joel taking out that bloater??? kinda attractive

“i hear the way jesse talks about you.” damn he really does have NO idea

omg and the clicker???? also attractive

he looks so good w these graphics

if i ever get my hands on a ps5 it’s over for you bitches

“if only they were immune, right?” THE WAY HE WHIPPED HIS HEAD TO LOOK AT HER OOOOOOOOOF

FUCK man

THAT’S what’s bothering her. fuck dude.

oh shit! she’s asking him about it! oh shit!

JOEL STOP LYINNNNNGGGGGGGG

the look on her face tells me she doesn’t believe him

she doesn’t. “i’ve never met another immune person before. have you?” THE WAY HE JUST STANDS THERE FUUUUUCK MAN

“is now really the time for this?” JOEL STOP AVOIDING

“why did you pull me outta there while i was still unconscious?” THAT IS A GOOD QUESTION THO FROM HER POV

“there was no cure.” FUUUUUUUUUUUCK JOEL WHY ARE Y- GGGRRRRR

i wanna knock some sense into him but i also understand his side of it

she’s pissed. i can see it in her eyes bro she is so upset

“is there something else you’d like to rehash?” JOEL. i get that you don’t wanna talk about it man but c’mon.

DAMN. DAMN. well i wanted to know what was bothering her. i found out.

the way that ellie isn’t even fuckin flinching with these stitches speaks volumes

ellieeeeeeeeee girl please REST.

“what?” “nothing.” “good.” ELLIE.

oh my god she really is just gonna fuckin GO.

i have nothing but bad feelings about this

JOURNAL CHECK-IN

“maybe he can help us find these people more quickly. i don’t want to hear anything about turning back.” ellie. it’s consuming you ellie you gotta see that bro.

literally nothing good ever happens at night in tlou

ANUTHA CARD BABYYYY

randy styles💀

i’m ready for it to start storming bitch

what the fuck is up with scars and hanging people??

i’m concerned about this wlf hit list i found on a clickers’s body

what if they’re around here?

oh shit! there’s a not from one of the people that was in the theatre group! he talked about how he got sick and went to go get himself meds i think?

he died in the theatre though so i think this not from paige is for him

ANUTHA CARD BABYYYYY

OH SHIT A SAFE AND A CARD WOOOOO

it’s too fuckin quiet in here

WORKBENCH WOOOOO

WHAT THE FUCK????

I KNEW IT WAS TOO QUIET OH MY FUCKING GOD THAT SCARED THE SHIT OUTTA ME

I HEARD FOOTSTEPS AND TRIED TO CLOSE OUT BUT HE GRABBED ME

BROOOO THESE WERE THE PPL ON THE HIT LIST

WHAT THE FUCK DID I SAYYYYY

let’s try this again yea?

EXPLOSIVES BRANCH??

EXPLOSIVE ARROWS??????????

DAMN. THAT’S FUCKIN COOL. I’M GONNA WAIT THO BC I NEED MORE LISTEN DISTANCE

i feel so smart for figuring that fuckin dumpster thing out so fast

had to S P R I N T to get to that chain dude

holy fucking shit i am FAR from this hospital goddamn

i gotta say i HATE being on my own

wait is this the convention center for pax??

ANUTHA CARD BABYYYY

broooooooo arch-enemy is my fucking favorite so far like this is the the kind of character that i’m always drawn to

I WENT TO CHECK THESE DEAD BODIES, TURNED AROUND, AND GOT FUCKIN JUMPSCARED WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT???? WHAT WAS THAT??????

BEING STALKED BY A FUCKING INFECTED? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT????

tbh might end on that note bc it is almost 4am and i am losing function in my hands hahaha

i’m saying FUCK NO to that tonight hahaha

i fuckin fell asleep before i posted this last night🤦🏻‍♀️

#the last of us part ii spoilers #the last of us part 2 spoilers #the last of us part two spoilers #the last of us spoilers #the last of us part 2 #the last of us part ii #the last of us part two #tlou part ii spoilers #tlou part 2 spoilers #tlou part two spoilers #tlou spoilers #tlou part 2 #tlou part ii #tlou part two #mads plays the last of us!🌿#mads plays the last of us part ii!🍃

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retvenkos · 3 years

Text

“i hope you know cpr, because you just took my breath away.”

requested OH, BUT I HOPE YOU’RE READY BECAUSE WE’RE ABOUT TO DIVE INTO WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE DATING LANCE MCCLAIN...

— we all know that lance is an incorrigible flirt. so, oh, boy.... the pick up lines that preceded dating and the lines that continue....

there is no way you can avoid the outpouring of love that lance has for you. at any and all moments, he has something to say. even if you’re more on the shy side and really hate the attention, lance will still reach his daily count, only he’ll be more subtle - whispering pick up lines in your ear so he can see you blush, or catching you when you’re alone and spilling his heart.

— he just can’t contain it! and honestly,,,,, you grow to like it better when he doesn’t.

and all of his pet names for you are really cute, too! you give him one, at some point, and whenever you say it, he just becomes the epitome of heart eyes.

— but what’s funny is that while lance is the absolute most when talking.... he has no idea how to write it all down. he’s definitely tried to write you love letters before, but it always ends up in crumpled sheets of paper and dissatisfied groans. he just doesn’t know how to do it! if he were talking, he’d know exactly what to say, but when the page is before him... it’s like he’s not sure if it will be good enough.

when pidge finds him surrounded by at least twenty pieces of balled of paper, she definitely finds it hilarious.

>> “you mean ‘lance the prolific’ doesn’t know how to write a love letter? aren’t you the same boy who can recite a five paragraph essay about how amazing (y/n) is?”

and when lance awkwardly explains that his feelings of inadequacy, pidge is awkward too.

>> “oh.... well, do you have to write them letters? isn’t saying it enough?”

and maybe it is.

(or maybe, lance gets the great idea that pidge should write love letters for him. i mean,,, pidge is smart, right?

((pidge does not know how to write love letters ~lance style~. it doesn’t end well.))

— asdfghjkl,,, okay, okay, but i think it’s critical that we all understand that lance is really in tune with his and other people’s emotions

like, this boy can sense when someone is having an off day, and for the most part, he’s pretty considerate of that fact and knows how to make things right.

he knows how to give space when you need it, or when it’s time for a hug and some soothing words.

(lance is most definitely a caretaker, so just know that you are in good hands.)

— but also, i hope you are good with emotions too because lance bottles things up like crazy. please, someone talk to lance about how he’s doing because if no one asks... he’ll never mention it.

i think it’s vital that you care for lance. you listen to him and remind him how important he is to you. lance gives me the vibes of someone who desperately wants to be seen and wants to be someone’s choice. if you show him that... well, that’s something special.

— i also think it’s important that we all have a collective understanding that one of lance’s primary love languages is quality time.

you two spend so much time together. (i mean, you’re stuck is space. there’s not much else you can do.)

when you guys are bored, people can usually find you laying on the floor of lance’s room, telling stories about things you miss (lance talks a lot about his family) while putting on face masks or something. you probably tell him all of your most embarrassing stories, and he insists that they’re cute. that you’re cute.

>> “you think so?”

>> “definitely. you’d have to be crazy to not think so.”

>> “well, i think you’re cute, lance. amazing. perfect, even.”

and lance snorts

>> “i mean it!”

and all he can do is smile.

— and ! since you guys are stuck out in space and can’t exactly ask your families for advice on the ~dating~ scene,,,,,, you both bombard shiro.

he’s just a tired dad,,,,,,, he just wants to rest,,,,,,,, but if lance isn’t asking him about what to get you for a gift, you are asking shiro for flirting tips so that you can dish it right back to lance.

shiro tries to tell lance to get keith’s help but keith is like ??? why would you come to me ??? and doesn’t know what to say

(lance eventually ends up asking hunk, and it’s truly the smartest idea ever. hunk is a romantic. you guys just don’t want to see it.)

and you somehow end up asking coran for pick up lines and ohmygod,,,,,, they’re so bad,,,,, lance adores them.

— and i think your relationship is so playful! you definitely train together, and you actually give each other good tips. you also compete. a lot. lance loves a good competition! and besides, don’t you want to see who’s the better pilot? or the better cook? or the better swimmer?

— also! if you’re a massive nerd about something, lance lives for listening to you ramble about something he barely understands. it’s about the excited fire in your eyes. it’s about the intimacy of sharing something so important to your self-concept.

and please listen to lance ramble about his interests. sometimes, he feels like no one ever really sees him as anything more than the flirty one. but if he’s super knowledgeable about something and you ask him questions about it??? he’ll love you forever.

— oh, and lance is big on holding you,,,,,, in any way, shape, or form, he just wants to hold you. that can mean cuddling! hugs! holding hands! interlocking pinkies when you’re standing next to each other on the bridge! he just likes knowing your there. lance will want to put his hand in your back pocket! he will want to do any kind of cheesy, rom-com-esque actions that he can possibly think of.

just wait until allura tells him the cheesy, altean couple things,,,,,,

— but what i also can’t stress enough with lance is that he is always asking you if you are okay with stuff, and it’s honestly goals. please extend the same courtesy back to him, because truly, how often are people asking lance what he wants?

— oh, and you guys work so well in battle together. you always have the other’s back, and while you’re probably not as chatty when you’re being shot at, you probably still get a few comments tossed back and forth.

— and after a fight with the galra? after you’re sore and dead tired? you definitely wander into the lounge, only to find that keith has sprawled out on the couch, so instead of pushing him over or going to your room, you just,,, lay on the floor.

lance walks in, not too long after, and he comes over to you like ??? you okay? and you’re eyes are closed, but you raise a hand in greeting.

>> “i’m fine.”

so lance sits down beside you. for a moment, it’s nice, actually, but then the ground is hard, and honestly, when was the last time someone mopped these?

>> “so... are you always going to lay on the ground after a battle?”

>> “Only the epic ones.”

and lance laughs, but he doesn’t get off of the ground. he doesn’t leave, and instead, he tells you about this amazing save he saw you do. and you smile and tell him about how you saw him heroically save keith

(keith grunts in dismay at that)

and lance looks at you, smiling wide, stars in his eyes, and you both lean in for a kiss.

>> “you taste like sweat,” he mumbles.

you laugh, and he can feel it against his lips

>> “war,” you correct.

>> “you taste like war,” he agrees.

>> “and you taste like heroics.”

>> “and i’m officially out of here,” says keith, clearly traumatized.

and you both laugh because the paladins are just idiots in space (affectionate)

AND FLUFF ENSUES.

taglist: @maybanksslut, (and @biqherosix, because i crave validation) // add yourself to the taglist here!

#voltron #vld #lance mcclain #lance mcclain x reader #lance mcclain x you #lance mcclain headcanons #voltron headcanons #voltron imagine #lance mcclain imagine #voltron would include #lance mcclain would include #would include #headcanons #fluff