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sytoran · 1 year

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pretty woman | teom part ii

You receive a nice welcoming gift. Feelings you thought were long gone begin to surface.

──── PAIRING. sub!milf!wanda x dark!player!reader

──── CONT. established wandavision, heavy flirting, thirsting, unresolved sexual tension, reader uses she/they pronouns, tommy and billy ship it

──── WORD COUNT. 2.0k

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“Mom, mom! Let’s go and meet the new neighbour!”

“Can we show her Sparky? Please?”

Wanda nods to her boys, trying to get them to calm down. Her seven-year-olds were far too energetic and lively, and sometimes taking care of them was excessively taxing. But of course, Vision was rarely there to help.

Shooing the boys away for the moment, despite cries of protest, Wanda escapes into the kitchen to finish her housewarming gift for you.

It had been a day since that incident, and Wanda had just gotten over her initial embarrassment.

Wanda wipes the sweat off her forehead as she uses oven mittens to take the baked cookies out of the oven. She sighs in relief to see that they turned out alright. It took Wanda about three tries to get it right. (No, she wasn’t trying hard to impress you. Obviously.)

The scent of the melted chocolate chips wafts over the house. “Want one!” Billy screeches, bounding over to the kitchen in record timing at the smell. He goes to grab at a cookie, before letting a cry and dropping it when he realizes just how hot it was.

Tommy, following closely behind his brother, bursts into shrieks of laughter. “You’re so stupid!” he yells, as Sparky — their dog — barks vehemently in agreement. Billy pouts.

Wanda rolls her eyes, letting out an exhausted huff. All this over a woman you held eye contact with for three seconds. Way to go, wanda. Your marriage with your husband is thriving.

After about half an hour, Wanda deems herself presentable enough to show up next door without foolishly embarrassing herself. The boys sprint over in record time, ringing on their new neighbours’ doorbell.

“Oh, hang on! gimme a moment!” A voice yells from inside. Wanda holds her breath in unexpected anticipation, internally dying to actually see you for the first time. Would you remember her staring from your window? I mean, of course you would, there was no doubt about that — but you had just looked so-

“Pretty.”

Wanda chokes on air, and you’re pretty sure you do as well. The word that had filled the silence was words of your own, blurted out the moment you set your eyes on her.

“Yeah, my mom’s pretty,” Tommy says nonchalantly, flicking his dark hair with a childishly aloof expression. Billy merely giggles, shoving his brother, raising his eyebrows at you like he knew something.

You, on the other hand, are lost in your trance of checking out your neighbour you briefly saw the previous day. Naturally, you just had a stronger attraction to women older than you, with their curves and edges and breasts and motherly eyes and the way they cared for their young children — Wanda was currently ticking all of the boxes in your fantasy like she could read your mind, and your eyes kept going back to her damn cleavage, because who the hell allowed her to wear such a low-cut shirt that pulled at all the right angles?

“I’m Y/N L/N, pleasure to meet you,” You manage to spit out after what seemed like an eternity. Your voice was definitely too hoarse, but you played it off like it was due to sleep deprivation in the morning.

When you try to make eye contact with the woman again, you realise she’s looking elsewhere. The ‘elsewhere’ in question, happens to be your partially-clothed body. You smirk inwardly, for you hadn’t been the only one ogling.

Wanda had been running her experienced eyes run over your messily-tousled hair and black sports bra and the glorious artifact that is your sculpted torso. She harbours the criminal urge to run her palms all over it, and trace your chiseled v-line that goes into hiding beyond your grey sweatpants. Wanda’s mouth dries up. she has to consciously snap her jaw shut or else she would’ve been ogling at you for an eternity.

Finally managing to tear her eyes off your distracting physique, Wanda’s greeted with the sight of your mischievous grin and twinkling eyes. Caught. The brunette woman shifts her footing in embarrassment, brushing at a stray lock of hair.

You chance a quick wink at her, just like the day before, and Wanda flushes from head to toe. Cute.

This time, you choose the safe option, to send the boys a friendly grin – they're her children, you deduce. “I’m Tommy,” a blonde boy announces cheekily, and his dark-haired brother shoves him in retaliation. “No, I’m Tommy.” he corrects, folding his arms and then sticking his tongue out at his brother. “His name is Little Prat.”

“Oi! That’s rude!”

“You started it, dude.”

“Boys!” the woman calls out in exasperation, looking at them with a mildly disappointed and evidently tired expression. She glances at you wearily, and you smile in understanding.

“Why don’t you guys come on in and watch some TV? There’s still some boxes around, but I’ve cleaned out the place and the sofa is pretty comfy,” you suggest, meeting Wanda’s eyes in search for approval. She nods, letting out a sigh of relief for the escape.

Almost immediately, the boys stop arguing and sprint inside with shouts of ‘my show!’. The brunette looks at them fondly, a small smile on her face. You think you’d like to make her smile like that. Gratefully, she turns to you. “Thank you for that,” she murmurs sincerely.

“My pleasure. Also, am i going to get to know your name, or am I going to be kept in the dark?” you tease.

“Right,” Wanda responds sheepishly, forgetting she hadn’t introduced herself yet. She clears her throat, determined to get it right this time. “I’m Wanda Maximoff, and we live just next door. But you already knew that. As a housewarming gift, I actually baked some chocolate chip cookies, if you’d like them.”

“Oh wow, Wanda,” you say, as she hands over a paper bag with containers of cookies. “Damn, if I get food like this all the time I’ll stay here forever.”

Wanda giggles, then grows internal fear at the fact she just giggled. Like, what was that? A giggle? Seriously? Way to impress the hot neighbour, Wanda. Wait, why am I trying to impress the hot neighbour? I’m married!

You move to hold the door open for her. Chivalry, Am i right? As Wanda walks past you, your eyes fall to the curve of her ass. Nope, still a whore for hot moms.

After pulling back a chair for Wanda at the dining table and bringing her hot coffee, you sit down beside her, glancing over at the boys. They’re invested in an episode of Phineas and Ferb. You recognize it as the one from Season Three where Doofenshmirtz creates the Stain-inator to ruin the town mayor’s painting. Hey, don’t blame me for having a young soul — Phineas and Ferb is for all ages.

“You’re so good to the kids,” Wanda says softly, hauling you out of your temporal trance. Once again, you’re reminded of Wanda’s effortless beauty, with her small hands cradling the steaming coffee mug, long eyelashes fluttering as she blows at the hot beverage.

“Is that hard to believe?” you respond slowly, eyes trailing over her expression. Wanda’s face morphs from a relaxed one to another that is clouded with trouble and burdens. You frown in concern.

“Well,” Wanda hesitates. “I suppose so. I’m not used to someone caring for my boys so blatantly and openly. Their father…… is not always present. He’s busy all the time. His head is always tucked down, and I’m just scared that by the time he looks up again, the boys won’t be waiting with an eager smile anymore. Sometimes I wonder, if he’s married to me or his job.”

You absorb this information with a growing frown, jaw clicking as it clenches. You decide that you do not like Wanda Maximoff’s husband.

For the first time in a long time, your chest flares, and your inner demons crawl, clawing in…… Possessiveness? Jealousy? Anger? You physically shudder, and Wanda notices.

“Sorry,” she says hurriedly, looking down in shame. “I shouldn’t have told you all that, you must think of me as a terrible mother now. I’m so sorry–”

“Don’t be,” you interrupt, placing a hand on her thigh. “I just…… your husband sounds like an asshole, with all due respect.”

Wanda laughs, a trinkle of a melody, and you calm down. “Thank you,” she murmurs softly, batting her lashes while looking at you. You’re pretty sure she doesn’t even know what it does to you.

Well, you could have your fun as well.

You take your time with it, using your thumb to brush against the skin of her thigh, under the guise of comforting a friend. You pretend not to notice how wanda fidgets under your touch, pressing her legs together and blushing a whole lot more.

This hardly does anything to satiate your true urges. Wanda turns to you with a curious gaze, almost innocent. You try to shove it down, try to quell it, but you’re growing ravenous. She opens her mouth, asking you something. You don’t hear it, you’re too busy staring at her lips.

“...Are you even listening to me?” Wanda asks with an adorable smile, shaking her head at you in faux disappointment.

“Nope,” you answer boldly with a cheeky smile, sliding your hand further up her thigh, knuckles brushing against the hem of skirt. You delight in the way Wanda’s breath hitches, conflicting emotions flickering across her pretty face. You want more.

Your left foot hooks around the leg of her chair, dragging it closer to yours. Wanda looks up at you, frozen. She still hasn’t moved from your grasp.

“Tell me more about you,” you ask, with an innocent smile, As if you hadn’t been the causation of Wanda’s inner turmoil. “I’d like to get to know my neighbour better, hm?”

“Uhm,” Wanda begins, not knowing how to act with the close proximity. She hates how her thighs are clenching, how she seems to be sweating abnormally. “I-”

“Momma! It’s time to go home, Sparky needs to go for his walk,” Billy states, shattering the moment in a matter of milliseconds. Wanda doesn’t know how your hand disappears from the territory of her thighs so quickly, but she already misses your fleeting touch.

When she snaps out of it, you’re already chattering excitedly with boys, playing up to their energies exceedingly well. It’s highly evident that her boys enjoy your company, but Wanda is at a loss of how you’re acting as if your hand hadn’t just been inches from her underwear a few moments ago.

What’s more jarring is the fact that her panties were damp, even, with the evanescent presence of your ring-adorned fingers.

‘You’re a woman with needs, it’s normal,’ Wanda tells herself, shaking off her intrusive thoughts. ‘Vision doesn’t want sex, but you have to respect that.’

But then Wanda looks at the way you scoop up both Tommy and Billy with an effortless ease, then spinning them around, your biceps seemingly blinding with the reflection of the light. Or maybe that was her own wilding imagination.

Wanda clears her throat in an attempt to find a semblance of composure. She ushers Tommy and Billy out the door with a newfound haste, disliking the storm of conflict within her. “Be sure to give me a call if you need anything,” Wanda adds, daring herself to make eye contact with you. You’d exchanged numbers earlier.

“Oh, I’ll call you,” comes your witty reply, and a quick wink.

The brunette looks away, knowing the tips of her ears are burning. Damn it, get it together, woman.

You lean against the cashew-coloured doorframe with your arms folded across your chest, watching Wanda chastising the boys’ rowdiness as they walk back to their own place.

As you expect, just before she escapes back into the comfort of her own home, Wanda chances a look back at your front porch. When the brunette realizes you were still watching, she fumbles flusteredly.

‘Pretty’, you mouth to the older woman once again, then lifting up a hand to blow her a flirtatious kiss. You duck back into your house before Wanda can even react, unable to stop the sides of your mouth from tugging up into a stifled chortle.

With Wanda Maximoff living right next door, your time spent at Westview was guaranteed to be a rather eventful one.

taglist: @natashamaximoff69 @ohsugar-honey-iced-tea @fayhar @bibliophilicbi @screechcat @rowanyaboats @nahnahnahwhat @the-night-owl-blr @nemowevoli @wannabe-fic-reader @natsxwife @wandsmxmff @enanna-h @jemilyswhor3 @manyfandomsfanvergent @scarsw1fe @jlsammy23 @spongebobs-tie1 @kiyozoe6778 @girllcver @natashaswife4125 @godsfavouritelesbiann @ezay @forthelesbians @wlwfanfictionss @forthelesbians @cowxpoke @supaheroine @saqua14 @olsensnpm @33-mrvl @kellyc30-blog @eatkobi @cqllarbones @lovelyy-moonlight @diannaswhore @shuriri4life @inluvwithfictionalwomen @Cooldogs02 @jedi-athen-orion @alyciaddict @blackqueensforeva @lovelyy-moonlight @gingerninja1993 @yourfavdummy @iliketigobities

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#marvel women #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #wanda maximommy #wanda maximilf #x reader #wanda x reader #wanda x y/n #dom reader #top reader #bottom wanda maximoff #sub wanda maximoff #marvel #my works #teom series

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leikeliscomet · 5 months

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“But We Love Martha Jones!” - The Doctor Who Fandom’s Selective Memory of Racism

Be aware that this article contains explicit examples of anti-black racism and misogynoir.

Chapter 2 - Utopia-ish

The constant nitpicking of Martha Jones for reasons white female companions could get away with was blatant anti-black racism. Let’s get that bit clear first and foremost. As a Black person in fandom, watching Black characters get torn apart while never being given the grace of their non-Black castmates is an experience that’s too common. Microaggressions are more subtle so the easiest way to shut down any mentions of racism is to accuse Black fans of making things up or telling us “Well it’s not like REAL racism”. Luckily Doctor Who Tumblr birthed the Martha Jones affirmative action and Aunt Jemima “memes” so I can cross both covert and overt racism off the list. As mentioned in extensive detail in the previous chapter, plus the various Martha Jones articles written before me, the treatment Martha experienced was racist. I don’t care if you personally didn’t like her. I don’t care that you missed Rose. I don’t care that Ten is your smol bean. Martha’s treatment was racist. Freema Agyeman’s treatment was racist. It might not have been everyone. It might not have been you personally. But it was there. The fandom can never be a safe space for POC, specifically Black people if this elephant in the room can’t be addressed over a decade after it arrived.

On paper, you’d assume Martha’s rep was good because “at least she wasn’t a Black stereotype”. Some fans praised her for having a present father, not speaking MLE and not being from the ends. This goes into respectability politics but the fandom’s weirdness about Black Brits and class is not the point of this article. The point is the revisionist history of how Martha was really treated and to do that it helps to know what Black tropes are. The Mammy trope is a Black woman whose main purpose is to serve her white counterparts and during slavery, she mainly cared for the slave owners' children. She is usually fat, dark skin and asexual, not as a representation of those things but as a statement of how if she isn’t used for sexual exploitation like the Jezebel (the promiscuous, reckless, sexualised Black woman), she has no sexual value at all. Her value is serving the needs of others only. Martha doesn’t fit this trope in theory but in practice, she fulfils the sub-categories of this trope both in show and fandom: the disposable Black (girl)friend trope. She is used as Ten’s emotional punching bag before he’s ready for Donna and then Rose again. She had to endure edgy moody S3 Ten so no one else had to. She’s the excuse people use to deflect any critical analysis of how race was handled in RTD1. She’s the fandom’s excuse to deflect from their own racial biases. Racism? No way! Everybody loves Martha Jones! What do you mean?

Some parts of the fandom have tried to mend things by suggesting Martha be paired with other doctors or romantically shipping her with other characters a bit better than Mickey Smith. But does this hold up? As much as I’m a big fan NineMartha as a concept and as someone who honestly saw one-off characters like Riley Vashtee from 42 or Tallulah from Daleks in Manhattan having way more romantic chemistry with Martha than Mickey ever did, simply re-shipping Martha isn’t enough. Doctor Who’s racism isn't exclusive to one doctor, one series or one era and new Martha pairings suggest the issue was “right person, wrong doctor” instead of what the issue actually was: racism. Moffat and Chibnall’s eras weren’t full of golden Black representation either so I doubt the Martha issue would’ve magically disappeared under those two. From Nine’s hostility to Mickey, to Twelve’s hostility to Danny Pink to Thirteen handing a South Asian Spymaster to the Nazis and Eleven only travelling with POC in comics most fans haven’t heard of and being besties with Churchill, simply putting Martha with another Doctor isn’t the serve fans think it is. Even RoseMartha seems like putting a bandaid on a bullet hole. If it's not enough for Martha to be compared to Rose, put down in favour of Rose, told she isn’t Rose and told she's worse than Rose in fandom and in show over and over and over, she has to be shipped with Rose too. Martha’s a great character… as long as you can tie her to Rose… again. Even in my own article I have to talk about Rose because Rose is centred in what was supposed to be Martha’s story. A doctor-to-be Black girl from London with a hectic family meets a Time Lord and gets abducted by space rhino police at work in one day. Her main conflict isn’t balancing work and time traveller life, or fighting to get her family back together, or seeing what’s out there in the universe - it's that she isn’t “Rose” enough. The Mammy and her sons’ main thing in common is simple; how well they serve and centre the white characters. In attempts to mend Martha’s treatment she is still only valued in relation to white characters. She should’ve been with Eleven because he would’ve fucked a Black woman. Or maybe Dilfy Twelve. Or a sapphic romance with another female companion who she saw twice or doesn’t actually know. Or maybe Ten in an alternate universe where he supports #nubianqueens. None of this is done to explore sexuality or romance with Black women and is definitely not to centre Black lesbianism and bisexuality. It’s Mammy with a dash of Jezebel. It's adding romantic and sexual value on top of physical and emotional value like a crappy meal deal.

I’m tired of Black women being treated as extensions of white women both in media and in real life. I’m tired of our value being determined by how well we serve white people emotionally, physically, platonically and sexually. And I'm even more tired of white feminism especially in this fandom. It would be so easy to label this article as anti-Rose, anti-Ten or anti-Tenrose to invalidate my whole racial analysis because it's the easy way out. I’ll admit I like both characters individually but not the ship but this isn’t something I decided on since birth - it's my conclusion as a Black fan in a predominantly white fandom, watching a predominantly white show, watching the first companion of my race be told she isn’t good enough compared to the white characters, and that the hatred of her is justified for the greater good of its popular white ship. Black fans can never have this conversation without being told we’re “pitting women against each other” and that Martha and Rose hugged once in S4 so everything's hunky dory. Martha’s happy that Ten found Rose again so what’s the problem? It sends a clear message that Black women’s pain will never matter a much as white women’s feelings. “Rose is amazing! Martha’s amazing! Stop pitting women against women!” but who was pit against who in the first place? These faux girl power posts fail to acknowledge the overlap of race and gender which separates the treatment of Black and white women. It fails to acknowledge Martha’s hate was rooted in anti-black racism. It fails to acknowledge the anti-Rose pushback was in response to how the show and fandom convinced us Rose was the untouchable bar this Black woman failed to meet. It fails to acknowledge Freema Agyeman the actress was targeted not just her character. It fails because the female empowerment rhetoric that leaves the Black ones at the bottom of the pile only “empowers” women of a certain demographic.

The harassment Martha experienced was swept under the rug of “stan wars” but it was so much deeper than that. I’m not saying Martha stans are angels but there was no “Great Stan War” because the sides were never even. At the end of the day no amount of “Martha’s better than Rose” tweets will ever compare to the fact that Martha hate was rooted in misogynoir. Rose was and still is considered the greatest companion of nuwho, whilst Martha is constantly erased and undervalued. Rose’s video views and hashtags have always been bigger than Martha’s. Amy and Clara came after Martha but still surpassed her in popularity and got plenty of fan edits of “The Girl Who Waited” and “The Impossible Girl” whilst Martha was conveniently skipped in the companion lineup. The fandom’s bias still shines clearly in favour of Rose over Martha. Rose’s jealousy towards other women is justifiable and just the ups and downs of a 19-year-old whilst Martha’s is entitled bitterness. Rose’s flaws are compelling character moments and depth, Martha’s are “holding her back from being a good companion”. Hell, even Donna calling out Ten’s BS was entertaining accountability whilst Martha was just the angry Black woman. Fans will weaponise Rose’s working-class roots to imply a pro-Martha bias, failing to acknowledge the working-class to poor background of the average Black Brit, the anti-blackness middle-class Black people are not spared from, the many working-class Black characters of the show like Mickey, Bill, Rigsy and Ryan or how most fans don’t consider Martha middle class because she doesn’t fit the white British cultural stereotypes. You can't be the most loved and hated at the same time. The hard truth is Billie Piper wasn’t racially abused by Martha stans but Freema was absolutely racially abused by Rose’s and the effects of this are still around. Go into Martha Jones tags today and you’ll see snarky posts of how Ten could never love another companion like Rose. Even when Freema bravely shared her experiences of literal racism, fans were quick to yell “But I wanted Ten and Rose though” as a justification for years of misogynoir. Again, we need to address the elephant in the room instead of covering our eyes and ears to act like it’s not there. A Black character and actress was collateral damage in order for a popular white ship to rise and whilst I’m not an anti, I as a Black Doctor Who fan, I’ll never be a supporter. At the end of the day, only one of these actresses is still carrying the burden of misogynoir over 10 years since RTD1 ended. A lonely walk across the Earth yet again.

<- Chapter 1 Chapter 3 ->

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yumeka-sxf · 4 months

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A chronological analysis on Twilight and Yor - Part 20

*This is part of an ongoing post series. If you missed the Introduction/Part 1, click here*

----------

After Yor meets Yuri on the train, she's reminded of the fact that he's "all grown up" and doesn't need her to take care of him anymore.

As I described in Part 8, earning enough money to support Yuri was the main reason Yor became an assassin. Since she didn't have the luxury to pursue anything worthwhile for herself, taking care of and being useful to others became her main focus in life. But since Loid and Anya don't benefit from her assassin work, and now Yuri doesn't either, she begins wondering why she needs to continue doing it. This question is reinforced a few times later: first, when they're on the train and she realizes how much she enjoys being with Loid and Anya as a family, without having to worry about work. And again, during her initial meeting with Olka.

When Olka tells her that she wants to get away from the dangerous life of a gangster to a peaceful, quiet life, Yor takes a moment to reflect on those words, as they were the same thoughts she had on the train earlier – thoughts of what it would be like to live a normal life with your family without all the fears and dangers that come along with being involved in the underworld.

Olka asks Yor why she's so worried about her family discovering her identity since they're just a cover-up family, which leads to a softly emphasized scene of Yor with a noticeably sad expression, as she reluctantly admits that, yes, they are a family just for show.

We know from previous episodes, like the cooking lesson and post-Fiona date, that Yor has since realized that being in the Forger family makes her happy, despite the fact that they're a "fake" family. However, she doesn't know if Loid and Anya feel the same way, especially Loid. For all she knows, he's letting her live with him as his wife more as a favor to her, and because it's convenient for their front at Eden, and not because he personally finds happiness in the arrangement. While he did tell her during their previous date that he wants her to continue playing the role of Anya's mother and his wife, Yor doesn't know whether he feels the same happiness being together as a family like she does.

Yor becomes even more motivated to help Olka when the latter mentions that she's left so much of her old life behind her now.

Perhaps her eagerness to help Olka comes from her sad resignation to the fact that she herself can't attain the kind of life Olka is heading towards, so at the very least, she wants to make sure Olka can attain it.

Meanwhile, we see just how much Twilight's spy work has "traumatized" him, to the point of being on total high alert on the ship even though Sylvia specifically ordered him to relax. Not only was he immediately suspicious of the lottery for the cruise ticket, but even after he's on the ship, his ever-calculating mind can't help but imagine the worst scenarios. He begins looking out for any signs of terrorism and dubious behavior, much to Anya's dismay.

However, thanks to her coaxing, he catches himself and makes a conscious effort to turn off the "spy mode" in his brain (as much as he can anyway).

Later, we see Yor being nervous when having dinner with the executives, obviously not comfortable in such a formal situation and still afraid that she'll be spotted by Loid and Anya. However, when given a task she knows best – assassination work – we get to see a side of Yor that has yet to be fully highlighted in the series…a side that's serious and confident, without her usual doubts and hesitations.

Her social awkwardness and uncertainties disappear as she takes on a total "in-charge" demeanor when guiding Olka and company back to the room. But Olka has spent enough time with the underworld crowd to see that, while Yor is very good at her work, it doesn't suit the sweet, gentle person that she really is. Even before the real danger starts, Olka tells her that she doesn't seem like the underworld type, and even suggests that she spend time with her family when the ship stops at the resort. Olka must have sensed from Yor's hesitation and sad expression in their previous conversation that she truly cares about them.

It's unfortunate that Yor doesn't have a permanent confidant like Olka – someone who not only knows her true identity as an assassin, but also senses that she has real feelings for what should be a "fake" family…and is supportive of that in her own subtle way. Twilight has Franky, and Sylvia somewhat, as people who know him as both a spy and as a (fake) family man. But even though they're not openly supportive of the fact that he's catching feelings for his family, they're still people he can not only confide in without having to hide his true identity, but they care about Anya's well being too. Yor doesn't have anyone like that. While Shopkeeper and McMahon know her true identity, her relationship with them seems to be strictly business. So, as brief as her time with Olka is, it was good for Yor to finally converse with someone who understands her inner feelings that she herself is having trouble realizing.

While Anya and Twilight are having dinner later, Anya mentions that it's been a while since they've eaten dinner without Yor, to which Twilight comments that it does seem lonely without her. He could have replied with any number of less melancholic responses ("It does feel weird" or "She must be very busy" to name a few). So the fact that his first thought was how lonely it felt does seem to indicate a momentary lapse in his spy facade, to which Anya rightfully calls him out and he immediately tries to deny it (with a slight but telling blush).

When they visit the gift shop, we see that Twilight is still having trouble learning how to find enjoyment on the trip, despite the fact that Sylvia made it an official mission. It's tragic to think that even when given orders to have a relaxing family vacation, he simply can't turn off the suspicions and anxiety in his mind. But his anxiousness about people potentially eavesdropping on him soon changes to concern about Anya's mental health. Similar to when he took her to work and had her play in the sandbox, he completely misinterprets her actions as displays of emotional trauma.

I love the interpretation from @sunfoxfic about this side of Twilight's character, to quote:

"His trauma really grounds every action he takes - everything he does is to protect others from experiencing the same trauma. Loid is a highly pragmatic and sympathetic man, and in that way, he's unwaveringly kind to everyone but himself."

Just like the sandbox incident, the scene with Anya at the gift shop is a prime example of Twilight's empathetic side that he keeps hidden from everyone else. Only we as the audience know how much he agonizes about the well-being of those who may have experienced similar trauma as he did. Since Anya's reactions make no sense to him, he can't help but conclude that she has her own share of deep-rooted trauma as well. And, as I've reiterated many times before, rather than express anger or blame her for anything, he puts responsibility on himself to do a better job at trying to understand her. And all of this relates back to what he told Desmond during their first encounter…that he won't stop trying to understand others.

While Yor is keeping watch that night, she has plenty of time to reflect on what happened the day before. As she sits there for hours in silence, we see that her expression has taken on the "robotic" look she had at the very beginning of the series "pre-family," back when her assassination work was all she focused on in her life. This is probably the longest amount of time she's had to continually concentrate on work since meeting Loid and Anya, so it makes sense that her eyes would start to harden like that.

However, when she realizes that she never tried to contact them, her eyes immediately light up as she imagines a scenario where she meets up with them on the ship.

She then starts to wonder why she was hesitating so much when fighting Barnaby. She thinks it could be because she was afraid, not of death or pain, but the fact that if she had gotten seriously injured, she may have had to leave the Forger family. This makes her think back to when Olka asked her why she was so concerned about them since they're just a cover-up family. As I've previously mentioned, Yor has come to realize that being with Loid and Anya makes her happy, but she's also resigned herself to the fact that that happiness can be taken away from her at any minute. So far the biggest threat to her place in the Forgers has been Fiona, but she was able to remedy that by talking with Loid. But this time the threat comes from something where talking isn't an option: an important job from Garden. This is why she tells herself that she needs to keep her priorities straight – as far as she's concerned, her personal happiness is secondary compared to the importance of the job at hand. As she continues to think about the people whose happiness she strives for – Yuri, Loid, and Anya – the same thought she had upon meeting Yuri on the train comes back to her…if none of the people she loves benefit from her assassin work, then why does she need to keep it up?

Continue to Part 21 ->

<- Return to Part 19

#spy x family #spy family #sxf #spyxfamily #loid forger #yor forger #twiyor #sxf analysis #sxf meta #loid x yor #loidyor

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lolahauri · 2 months

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˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ It's Been a Secret for the Longest Time

Ship: Hoodie/Reader

Type: Smut, One-shot, F/M, Reader Insert.

Contains: Unaware voyeurism, afab reader/female anatomy, multiple o's, masturbation, oral (f receiving), breeding, creampie, no plot, size kink if you squint.

Words: 2.7k

Request?: Kind of.

Hoodie was standing outside your room, peeking through the near-microscopic crack in the door. It was opened just enough to see the show going on inside. He didn’t even remember what he was coming to tell you, but it didn’t matter anymore. There were more important things going on now.

“Hah- oh fuck!” you hissed under your breathe, slowly swiping a pink vibrator over your throbbing clit, two soaked fingers sliding in-and-out of your pussy, working perfectly in sync with the toy. Completely nude, long strands of hair framing your glistening chest as you inhaled sharply. And as focused as you were on reaching your climax, the main thought occupying your mind was Hoodie. He was all you thought about during your private sessions, longing to feel his big strong hands tease your sensitive areas while holding you down and telling you who you belong to.

Broken whimpers poured from your plump lips, now imagining what his cock looked like, what’d it feel like inside you. You wonder if he’d be willing to cum in you. Is he more rough or gentle? Not that you would care either way, you’ve fantasized about every possible scenario.

You were obsessed with him, but you’d never tell him. You didn’t want to ruin the friendship you two had built, or make working together uncomfortable. There was just to much at risk. As much as you loved and lusted him, you’d continue to try your best at keeping these feelings to yourself.

Unbeknownst to you though, you were about to find out he thought the exact same way of you.

Brian continued to watch the pornographic scene in front of him, he was stuck in a trance almost, watching intently through his black mask. His eyes slowly worked down your entire body, starting with your mouth. He watched as your lips parted, letting out another angelic whine. Your face was dusted with a light rosy tint. Your entire body glimmered from the light droplets of sweat building up over your smooth skin, the room was hot and smelled of sex. He fucking loved it.

Eyes trailing further south, he reached the real show. Your soft, small hands toying with your slick, wet pussy. The sounds of your soaked fingers, moans, and vibrations were like a symphony to him. This was everything he’s ever dreamed of, the kind of sight he’d imagine when he’s pleasuring himself. It was almost too good to be true.

He was suddenly snapped out of his daze by the throbbing twitches of his cock. Becoming aware of his own body and desires now, he palmed his hard on through his pants, trying to relief some of the aching arousal he felt. Deep down he knows this is wrong, it’s creepy, you’d hate him for thinking this way of you, for watching you like this. But he can’t think straight right now, he felt dizzy from the way your undressed body hypnotized him.

The way you’re drawing him in could only be compared to a siren luring a lustful man to his demise, using nothing but her beautiful voice and enchanting figure. Quietly unzipping his pants, he kept rubbing his hardened cock as he stared right at your tits. Every movement making them bounce ever so slightly, for a moment he thinks he might’ve actually died and gone to heaven. He imagines what it’d feel like to knead and caress them, sucking on one nipple and rolling the other between his fingers. He so badly wants to hear you whimper his name while he teases you, grinding his length against your exposed heat.

Brian moved his pants and boxers down just enough for his cock to spring out, sucking in a sharp breathe as it hit the cool air of the hallway. His gloved hand slowly circled his throbbing tip, smearing precum that had already begun dripping out. Slowly stroking himself, he pretended it was your hand jerking him off, imagining you on your knees in front of him, your soft tongue teasing the head as you pumped your hands up and down his long shaft. He was only a few seconds in and already his cock was threatening to spill it's seed onto the floor.

It’s insane to him, you haven’t even touched him and he’s already about to cum for you and cry your name out while he does it. His movements slowed down abruptly, trying to savor this moment for as long as he could. His attention never left your body, jolts of electricity shot through him every time you made a sudden action or sound.

Adrenaline pumped through his veins as he picked up speed again, moving in rhythm with your hands. The thrill and anxiety of possibly getting caught, mixed with the beautiful sight before him was getting too much to handle. He wishes so badly he could just walk into the room, pull your fingers out and replace them with his cock. He dreams of pumping you full of cum, watching it pour down your thighs and mix with your own juices.

He’s huffing quietly as he comes to a stop yet again, working himself up far too quickly for his liking. But you look like you’re getting close, he wants to cum with you. He watched as you picked up speed, moans flowing consistently. Fuck yes, you’re about to cum. He begins to aggressively pump his cock, not caring anymore if he’s being too loud, he needs to cum with you now.

Squeezing your tits, you pick up speed on rubbing yourself off. Moaning and whining becoming out of control, but you’re confident you’re alone, you don’t care what sounds you’re making anymore.

“Mmph, ah, oh god, fuck” the pressure in your lower stomach erupts into an earth shattering orgasm “fuck- Brian!” you scream his name as your reach your peak, whispering it a few more times as you come down from the high.

Just as he’s about to cum, Hoodie stops in his tracks when he hears you yelling his name out. A cold rush shoots through every vein in his body, there’s no way he heard that right, right? But his confusion is confirmed when he hears you whimper it a few more times. You were actually thinking of him while you played with yourself. His brain short circuits momentarily, realizing all this time, you must’ve felt the exact same way as him. A fog casts over his mind, he’s not thinking clearly again.

“Fuck it” - he thinks to himself “ now or never, i guess. ”

He pushes your door open with one hand, watching as you jump in shock, covering your tits with your arms while your eyes grow wide, face becoming red hot.

“What the- Brian!” embarrassment and confusion clear in your voice “what the hell are you doing here?”

He doesn’t say anything as he takes off his mask and walks up to the edge of your bed, not breaking eye contact. You were about to tell him to get the fuck out, that was until…

“Oh my god…” you whispered to yourself as you gasped, shock turning to pure lust as you finally spotted it. His hard, twitching cock was out, fully on display.

Wait, has he been here the whole time? Oh well, who cares, your fantasy is about to become reality. You’ll tell him off for spying on you later. Just enjoy the moment for now.

Brian crawls on top of you, sliding his bent leg up at an angle, his knee forcing your left leg to spread open* You gasp when you feel his erection press up against you, but you're quickly distracted when he pry's your arms off your chest, pinning them to the side of your head as he lowers his face to yours. He’s smirking as you gaze up into his eyes, “ so fucking cute” he thinks to himself.

Slowly, he brings his lips down to yours, immediately bringing you into a heated make-out session. You both close your eyes into the kiss, lips moving in perfect harmony, maybe it’s the lust talking, but it almost feels as though your lips were made for each other, like two puzzle pieces clicking together.

The kiss turns more heated as you wrap your free leg around his waist, beckoning him to get some friction going. He knows exactly what you trying to do as he quickly begins to roll his hips into yours, his cock getting coated in your previous orgasm. You’re both moaning into each other's mouths while he moves a hand down to squeeze your tit, rubbing his thumb over your sensitive bud.

The sensations are sending you to Nirvana. His tip is perfectly rubbing right against your clit with every forward motion. You’re panting now, locking your legs tighter around him as a silent way to beg him to just fuck you already. He’s been waiting for this for a long time though, and he knows the second he slips inside he won’t be lasting too long, he wants to drag this out as far as he can.

You whine as he slowly pulls away from you, leaving you dazed and needy for his touch.

“Don’t worry, i’ll give you what you want.” his voice is soft, but husky.

Before you could even ask what he’s doing, he moves back, just enough for him to lay down and rest his head between your trembling thighs. He moves his arms underneath you, his shoulders pressed close to your plush bottom, two strong hands reached up to hold your waist down. He breathes against your heat, sending a cold shiver up your spine.

“Brian… please do something.” your voice was breathy and light, already so high on sex you could hardly get the sentence out. He loved it though, if he wasn’t so pent up himself, he’d tease you till your crying and screaming for more. Next time.

He chuckled a bit and gave an experimental lick up your pussy, going in for more when he heard you gasp and felt your thighs twitch around him. His tongue darted up and down your folds like a zipper, swiping against your aching clit each time it went back up. He savored each little sound you made, relishing in the feeling of your thighs gently squeezing the sides of his head.

You let out a high pitched moan as he suddenly began to focus on your clit. Sucking lightly between each circular swirl of his tongue. The more you squirmed and twitched, the harder he pressed his hands into your waist, pinning you down harshly as to not mess with his rhythm. He sucked your bud a few more times before dipping back down, sliding the entire length of his long tongue into your pussy.

“Oh holy shit! You gasped loudly at the sudden penetration, squeezing tighter around his head. Instinctively, you brought a hand down to his hair, pushing his face in to your heat just a little more. Hoodie eagerly took this as a sign to continue, and so he did. He repeatedly fucked his tongue in and out of you, curving upwards to rub at the spongy spot on the top of your pussy.

“Brian…” your voice and breathing was shaky “I’m- i’m gonna cum, jesus!”

He instantly moved a gloved hand downwards to toy with your clit while he continued to abuse your g-spot. He couldn’t stop grinding on the bed for some sort of relief, almost reaching his own climax when he felt yours begin. The familiar pressure of a nearing orgasm slowly dissipated as a wave of pure euphoria crashed over you. He groaned at the feeling of your juices soaking his mouth, thighs still wrapped around his head and shoulder. He really never wants this to end.

You’re senses momentarily heighted afterwards, becoming hyperaware of what was happening. But that didn’t last long, your brain was once again clouded with arousal as Hoodie suddenly crawled back up to you, bringing you into a harsh kiss. His cock was back to sliding between your folds, prepping for what was about to come.

“Is this okay?” Brian asked quietly as he reached behind you, grabbing a pillow to prop your hips up.

“God, yes. Please, just fuck me already.” you were gripping his clothed shoulders tightly as you lifted your hips, allowing him to slide the pillow underneath you.

“Fuck.” he huffed as he bent down a bit, allowing his hips to align with yours. He almost couldn’t believe it, he’d been fantasizing of this moment since he laid eyes on you, and it was really happening now. He slowly pushed the head of his cock into you, both of you threw your head back and signed in unison.

“Shit” he hissed at the feeling of your tight walls clenching around him, he’d barely gotten the first inch in and nearly got close to cumming, you must be some kind of demon the way you get him going. He starts burying himself in further, inch by inch, not giving you much time to adjust. Though, you're so wet and turned on he didn't get much resistance anyway.

Brian snapped his hips forward, adding the last three inches and fully bottoming out inside you. Gripping his shoulders tightly, you cried out from both the pleasure and the slight tinge of pain. He had to have been at least 8 inches, and it’d been so long since you’d been fucked last, it was a lot to take in no matter how prepped you were.

He gave you just a second to adjust before he leaned forward a bit, setting a quick pace with his thrusting. About half his length would be taken out, before he quickly slammed back into you, the sexual frustration being clearly communicated through his movements. He wanted to take his time with you, he really did, but you just felt too good. The way you were squeezing him so tight and screaming his name drove him fucking crazy.

The aggression only ramped up the more you dug your nails into him and begged for more. His thrusts became more harsh and quick, brutally slamming his cock into you in an almost primal, animalistic way.

“Oh Jesus Christ!” you screamed out as he lifted one of your legs over his shoulder, somehow hitting deeper when you didn’t think that was even possible. Hoodie grabbed your other leg and propped it up on his hip, pushing forward and repeatedly knocking into that sweet spot yet again.

You were quickly being brought to your third orgasm tonight. Brian was breathing heavily above you, trying so hard to last as long as he could. An uncomfortable ache was starting to build in your abdomen, overstimulation had finally begun to set in. Your back was involuntarily arching off of the mattress, your legs were caging in the man above you dangerously tight.

“Mmph… Brian.” you whined out, trying to let him know you’re getting close again.

“I know, i know. Go ahead, cum for me.” And that was all it took. You were seeing stars as you reached your high, screaming his name and grabbing onto his shoulders for stability.

He wasn’t far behind you, the feeling of your pussy clenching on him and coating his dick with your fluids sent him over the edge. He was grunting hard as he thrusted in a few more times, filling you to the brim with his load. Your legs dropped down to the bed as you both nearly went limp from exhaustion. He hovered above you for a minute longer, both of you panting and trying to ground yourselves back into yours bodies.

Hoodie slowly pulled his cock out of you, watching as his cum instantly started to pour out of you and onto the bed. He’ll definitely be adding that image to the bank.

He was laying beside you now, studying your body and face as you calmed down more. “Wow, that was -” you paused and turned to look at him, still a bit in shock from what just happened “- incredible”

He smiled pulled you close to him, holding your head in his chest and laying a blanket across the two of you. “Next time will be even better.”

“Next time?” you let out a breathy laugh as you wrapped your arms around his torso.

All he did was hum in response, reaching over to turn off the lamp beside your bed. You can talk about this with him tomorrow, for now, he just wants to sleep with you.

#creepypasta #x reader #smut #hoodie #hoodie x reader #marble hornets #brian thomas #i did this in one go tbh #6 hours straight of writing #need to sleep now holy shit

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unhelpfulfemme · 8 months

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Thalias from the Thrawn Ascendancy trilogy is how you do a female character with "traditionally feminine" virtues correctly.

The culture of the Ascendancy involves using young girls - the only Force sensitives their race has, since they all lose their Force sensitivity when they enter puberty - as ship navigators necessary to navigating the chaotic part of space that they live in. These girls are taken from their families at a young age and raised by a series of caregivers, and just like a bunch of plenty of carers IRL a lot of them are dogshit at their job. As someone who's worked similar jobs and watched other people work similar jobs, Timothy Zahn is BRILLIANT at portraying all of this - it gives me feelings like I can't describe. If you've ever seen a mean preschool teacher harranguing their charges or a shitty foster parent who doesn't treat their foster kids as individuals or anyone of the sort, you will feel this in your bones. Zahn goes hard on the "children are people" themes in this trilogy and I love love love this - it really means a lot to me to see a man known for his military and engineering competence porn stuff put so much thought and care into portraying caregiving as the important and complicated task that it is without coming off as sexist or patronizing towards it.

Anyway, Thalias is one such navigator, but even though most of them want nothing to do with the whole trauma-inducing system once they grow out of it, Thalias ends up returning as a caregiver and puts so much effort, compassion and logical thought into it that it makes me cry tears of joy. She draws on her own experiences but is quick to course correct when she realizes that Che'ri's experiences are different from her own (Thalias loved to read as a kid and still finds it comforting, Che'ri hates reading), she treats Che'ri with empathy and gives her as much autonomy and independence as she is allowed to. She uses a scientific method to figure out how the navigator powers work and adjust Che'ri's work routine accordingly - something no one has ever thought to do. She advocates for Che'ri with the rest of the ship's crew. She's amazing, and Zahn also makes sure to show how HARD it can be at times rather than just make her a perfect mind reader who always knows what her charge is thinking and what to say or do.

She's also kinda flawed - she seems to have an unhealthy obsession with Thrawn because he was once nice to her when she was a miserable kid in the throes of the shitty navigator system, and it comes off as kind of weird or cringe at times, and that's a GOOD thing in my book because it makes her character more 3D.

ALSO, the really nice part of it is that these books are filled to the brim with cool female characters that all feel really really different from each other, so Thalias being the nurturing, diplomatic type doesn't feel like Zahn sending some kind of message - the other prominent character is Ar'alani, a clever military woman who's a natural leader, excellent at handling her subordinates and recognizing their talents, excellent at handling politics even though she hates it, excellent at improvising on the fly, and also a kind and loyal friend. A lot of the other soldier or officer types are also women, and Zahn's other works also have a shitton of varied and cool women, so you feel safe in the knowledge that anything Thalias says or does is indicative of Thalias as an individual and not some vague idea of what women are like that the author has.

I also love how her character provides a contrast to all the "necessary evil" and "people are assets"-type thinking that a lot of the Ascendancy's more military types endorse (which make up a large percentage of the main cast, since this is mil scifi after all) - her conversation with Samakro about this is just chef's kiss to me. I feel like it's cool that we get this kind of POV because to me it serves as confirmation that Zahn knows what he's doing here - he's not being a stupid edgelord fanboy in love with the concept of doing shitty things for the greater good, he's just keenly observing how different people approach life and how all of these sorts of thinking are very useful in certain situations and deeply stupid in others. And the topic is treated with zero smugness - I've read things where similar arguments are used as a way of showing how wise and perfect one of the characters is and how stupid the other one is (coughvorkosigansagacough), but here everyone is treated with respect and empathy and consideration.

THALIAS SUPREMACY!!!

#Mitth'ali'astov #Thalias #Thrawn Ascendancy #Timothy Zahn #THALIAS SUPREMACY

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bluegalaxygirl · 15 days

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Hello there :)

I'm new here but I love your stuff, it's all so sweet 😫❤️

So hear me out, I got an idea for Zosan x fem!reader, where Reader is a little Tinkerer and loves to invent things or just make cute thingamajigs. And she loves to make small things for Zoro and Sanji and even though they always get red and fidgety when she give them her little presents, they always cherish them and keep them neatly in their room🥺

Welcome and i hope you enjoy this, i find this idea so cute.

Zoro X Sanji X Reader, poly relationship, established relationship

^ When you first joined the crew you were kinda scared to show off your inventions, mainly because you wanted to impress them and anything less than perfect was not good enough for you, but with time and some entrancement from Usopp and Sanji you started to show your stuff before it was finished.

^ Your always observing how the crew works and planning how to make their life easier by making stuff for them, so you always have a project going on. You used to hide away in Usopp's area of the ship but now find it more enjoyable by being around the crew, your main favorite places are the kitchen and the training room.

^ Depending on if you want to talk or not you'll choose one or the other to tinker with your project in, Sanji is always happy to have you around and willing to talk with you about anything. He's really into what your doing and fawns over your thoughtfulness and skill, he was doing this even before you started dating him. In the training room there's no talking just the sound of Zoro working out, he appreciated you being quiet but if he found you struggling with something he would offer his help mainly to show off how strong he is.

^ If you ever need help with something you can always go to either one of them, and they'll both do their best while also trying to cheer you up if something hasn't gone the way you wanted. Gods forbid you ever get hurt while making something, the slightest hiss or pain and their asking what's wrong, Zoro is way more toned down just asking if your ok and if you need anything while Sanji is instantly by your side taking what ever body part is hurt into his hands and looking it over before dragging you off to see chopper.

^ When you work late into the night mainly because you loose track of time both of your boys have to come down and get you, one isn't enough since you try and by more time if its only one of them. With Sanji you can give him a pout and kiss asking him to sit with you fore a minute while you finish up, that minute turns into 5, then 10 and soon the cook is fast asleep on your work table. With Zoro all you have to do is ask for his help with something, even if its just opening a jar or pulling something apart then compliment him, you'll force him to sit down in your seat so you can sit on his lap and work saying you'll be a minute, again that minute turns into much longer and the swordsman is fast sleep holding you tight.

^ It surprises you how long it took them to realize what you were doing so now come together in order to get you to sleep, they both have to remind each other of your tactics. Working together they manage to pull you away form your work and to bed, it warms your heart at how much they care about you, at first you feared they only liked you for what you made them but once that was voiced they both made it well known that they love you for you and nothing else. They constantly remind you of that with compliments, loving touches and pulling you away form your work just for your attention or make you eat and sleep.

^ Sanji loves all the things you make for him and tries his best to take great care of them, most of the stuff you make for him are in the kitchen since their practical gifts, A knife block that sharpens the knives for him and some robotic hands that you can attach to the sink that washes dishes for him are the main things but you've made small stuff too. One of his favorites is a small Robot that looks just like him, its made to grind spices and herbs for him rolling the stone back and forth to crush what he needs, he mainly likes it because not only is it useful and catches his likeness well but it also keeps Luffy distracted instead of asking for food.

^ There is one thing the cook keeps in his room away from everyone and everything, a small thing that no one would bat an eye too, but he holds so close to his heart that he wants to keep it safe forever. He's almost scared to use it in case he damages it, its one of the first things you made him and although you didn't think it was perfect still, Sanji couldn't help but fall in love with it and in turn fall in love with you.

^ The lighter you gifted him was unlike anything he had ever seen before, it was round and the middle made out of glass so you can see the strange multicolored liquid inside, a beautiful blue steal engraved casing surrounded it, at first it just seemed like random lines but when he looked closer he found that the small engagements where actually pots, pans, knives, spoons ect, anything to do with cooking was cut out letting you see the glass area.

^ He was beyond happy with it and loved the blush on your face when he raved about it but you had one last thing up your sleeve, turning the lighter on instead of the normal yellow flame it was a blue flame, he started at it in amazement a warm feeling filling his chest as you talked. At that moment the world around him became none existent, just him, you and the blue flame lighting up your face in a way that took his breath and heart, that was the moment he fell in love and what made him decide to treasure that lighter forever.

^ Zoro didn't care a first and was almost offended when you made him something that would make training easier, he did want or need your help and made it clear to you. He got yelled at by most of the crew for making you upset and almost scared of him but it was Us opp and Chopper who managed to make him see the other side of things. You weren't calling him weak, you just wanted to make his training better and more effective because of this he apologized the best he could, after that he loves having you around and working while he's training. On his breaks he'll sit with you and watch what your doing, becoming almost hypnotized by how you make it look so easy.

^ The things you make for him are mostly to do with training but there are times when you try to help him with his sense of direction but those always seem to fail since he keeps getting lost even with the best of your stuff. You've made wrap around pads that turn hot or cold dampening on what he needs, a small device that shows him how fast, strong and level his swings are either with a sword of weights.

^ The first thing you made him is a small device that can be strapped to the back of his neck, thanks to the help of Chopper its made to read brain waves, the small screen will show, what muscles in the body are being works, how long for and the amount of strain their under. It'll let off a beep if a part of the body is under too much strain which is what annoyed him in the first place, you did tell him that the gauge can be changed, but he didn't listen due to his anger. At first, he wanted to throw it out or chuck it into the ocean but for some reason he couldn't, it's been in his locker ever since, and he can't bring himself to let you knew he's still got it, so it says there.

^ There are times when he'll look it over with a smile thinking about everything you've done for him but also cursing himself for yelling at you that day and almost ruining what he has now, loving you and having you make things for him is something he holds close to his heart and this small machine if a constant reminder to never take that for granted, but he'll never let you know.

#one piece #polly relationship #zoro x reader #roronoa zoro #sanji x reader #sanji x zoro #zosan #zosan x reader #zoro x sanji #one piece sanji #black leg sanji #vinsmoke sanji #sanji #zoro roronoa #op zosan #one piece zosan #zosan fanfic #zoro x sanji x reader

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supervisionx · 1 month

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I keep seeing posts that Hannibal is queerbait (not necessarily on Tumblr but it's really prevalent on Twitter and tiktok) so I'm going to break down how it is NOT queerbait under 'keep reading' (long ass rant ahead)

I'm going to use Supernatural and Sherlock as an example because they are both pretty infamous for queerbaiting, but this isn't to make fun of those shows altogether.

In both Supernatural and Sherlock, the main 'ships' are between Sherlock Holmes / John Watson and Castiel / Dean Winchester. In their respective shows, there is almost nothing stopping them from getting together. In both cases, they are friends, have good chemistry, spend a frequent amount of time together, and do not have any significant others. The only thing stopping them from being in a relationship is that one or both of them are presumably straight or are simply not in love with each other.

In Hannibal, however, one is an FBI agent, and the other is a serial killer. There is an in-show reason that would stop (especially Will Graham) from wanting to be in a relationship with the other despite personal feelings. Even in earlier seasons, when Will Graham did not know Hannibal was a serial killer, Hannibal was still his therapist.

Next, what makes the queerbait stand out especially in Sherlock and Supernatural, is that every time anything is suggested between the two popular ships, it is often played off as a joke.

Think of the scene in Sherlock where John fumbles asking Sherlock if he has a boyfriend. The scene where Sherlock is about to kiss Moriarty is presented as a flashback by a crazy fan (making fun of the viewer for thinking Sherlock could be in a male/male relationship)

In Supernatural, there is a scene where castiel is alluded to being teleported naked on top of Dean's car, dialog such as "Get out of my ass" "I was never in your..." and an awkward pause. These are all one-off jokes, scenes, etc. Meant to allude to queerness without having to actually commit to it.

In Hannibal, however, no scene that alludes to queerness is played as a joke. Hannibal is genuine when he says he cares for Will, when he is worried the other man has died, the constant touches, and where he compares their relationship to Achilles and Patroclus. (Do I even have to mention the "Is Hannibal... In love with me?" Scene?)

"But Hannibal and Will never kissed / never had a relationship!"

Okay, it's fair to be upset that the pair never kissed or had a full relationship established, but you have to remember Hannibal was canceled. Sherlock and Supernatural both came to their conclusions naturally and decided to continue never establishing a proper relationship between their queerbaited characters.

(I'm not counting that scene where castiel says "I love you" to Dean and gets sent to Super Hell as a relationship. You could argue that this makes Castiel explicitly queer and therefore not queerbait, but it still feels more like executives doing the same thing as the joke part of this argument; not wanting to commit to making him queer and throwing in a one-off line. Plus, this does not excuse baiting Dean as queer and baiting the relationship between Dean and Castiel as more than friendship)

However, Hannibal never got to reach its natural conclusion. More seasons were planned, in which the creator of the show explicitly stated he wanted to explore the relationship between Hannibal and Will more in those seasons before being canceled. Being upset that they never kissed / had a relationship does NOT mean the show was queerbait.

#hannibal #supernatural #bbc sherlock #queerbaiting #hannibal fandom #hannibal lecter #nbc hannibal #will graham #long reads #long post

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imtheindiekid · 1 year

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Maneater

Prompt: Reader is called a maneater and also the nigthmare of everyone who is rich, afraid of her getting them to bankrupt. But not her dear mommy.

Ship: Gwendoline Christie x fem!reader

Warnings: mommy kink, smut, pet names, praise kink, gwen being the filthy rich we all know she is; sub!reader and dom!gwendoline. Reader's love language is luxury. Age gap!, reader is not a minor! Leg riding (is that a thing? idk), spiting, eating out, subspace, aftercare, happy ending yesss. Long one shot but trust the process lmao.

A/N: Bare with me please, as english is my second language; sorry for any errors or repetitive words!

----

They at first thought it was only a joke, you saying that the real happiness was spending someone's money until there was not even one cent in their bank account; yeah, it was funny looking at you dreaming for something that seemed selfish and greedy. But not for you, who always knew destiny had something special for its beloved and eager child.

It became quite clear what life in purpose you had, at only six years old, when life was being a bitch and making your family drown in debts while their couldn't afford many of the things you and the rest of them were accostumed to. Those hard times were a reminder of how someone could be powerful or a simply slave of capitalism, and you were determined to never be under that power ever again.

So it may have been a joke for everyone else, when in truth it was only the beginning.

----

The first tries for you to reach your desires went awfully well, as you were such a charmer and the beauty gods had blessed you to be an extraordinary beauty, so it wasn't that hard to get started on your plans, but not enough to complete them. At least, they granted you mercy and placed a great opprtunity in your very greedy hands, giving you the chance to work at your city's country club.

Mostly men were the ones who you attracted, showing a sly smile when you passed near them or offering great amounts of tips when you assisted them; it was extremely fascinating how strangers paid you almost thousands for handing them a single towel or simply showing you off infront of their spouses, flirting without any shame.

It was absolutely magnificent.

For the most part, one could say, until one of your first victims fell down and all because of you. Poor guy claimed himself to be a new money and wealthy man, despite not having a massive fortune yet and still trying to make a name between the members of the country club. However, that didn't stop you to pursue him with clever words and seductive glances, innocently complaing about the low payment you always received and how you wished to be one of the women of that place, drink in hand and on a man's lap.

Your wishes came true, with him spending his money on you and trying to satisfy your most wild fantasies. He was in bankrupt two weeks later, ripped out of his memebership and screaming it was you who had all his money, a gold digger.

It was a very long and sometimes boring process, but the fun of watching how your series of victims tried to do the same and ended bankrupted never fail to make your materialistic soul happy. Yet you knew this was only child's play, and that the real deal would approach in time.

You will gladly wait for it.

----

Through the years a reputation formed around your name and rumor has it was all because your inclination for luxury, which it was all true. Love was never the main purpose of your adventure; all you cared about is to be filthy rich at someone's expenses.

Many nicknames were murmured everywhere you went, but the one who stuck and you actually liked was "maneater". The first time you heard it made you laugh at the accuracy of it; you really loved to devour men in the financial way.

Life was a little more brighter and you enjoyed every second of it, but it became way better when she came into it.

Destiny finally fullfied its promise of making you so damn wealthy by sending you a gorgeous blonde who was ten times richer than all of those men you left without any money together. And what it was better, she is a fucking superstar; alredy a name well know, with great looks and an endless amount of connections to every important person in almost every industry. You were totally besotted with her.

"Mommy will always make you happy, my sweet girl."

And oh fuck, you swear you could have moaned at the pet name she just gave you and the way she speaked with such soft and sultry tone on that first encounter. Of course she knew who you were, Gwendoline Christie was totally aware of that dreadful reputation of yours and the way you could make a fortune dissapear in a blink of an eye, but also aware of the fact that she was far more wealthy than those so called millionares you met trough your life.

For the first time, someone actually had the means to spend it all on your wants, and it made you to be a fool in love for this woman.

----

"Give a twirl for me, kitten. Mommy wants to see you."

"Anything for you mommy."

Gwen smiled at your answer, while sitting on one of the expensive couches the private fitting room had. Ever since the first meeting between you two, she became the perfect lover and mommy for you, always cherising her princess and making sure was happy at all times. And there you were, inside one of your favorite shops trying on the latest fashion with your mommy as your only audience.

'Cause yeah, you loved puting on a show for her.

The mid thigh dress looked absolutely stunning on you, hugging so exquisitely every curve your body posessed and showing those legs that you used to wrap around Gwen's hips when she was fucking you so hard and good. Naughty thoughts rised in your mischievous mind as you spun and let mommy take a look on you; she knew you knew you could feel her staring gaze going from head to toes, drinking on you beauty and lusting over you.

"What a good girl you are for me, aren't you? Always a pleaser for mommy. Come here darling."

You did not waste time on getting to her, kneeling between her slender legs and rubbing your cheek against the soft fabric of the trousers she wore that day; a hand sneaked to your chin and grabbed it with slightly pressure, a silent indication for you to open that pretty mouth of yours. It wasn't long enough when mommy had her face near you and spat inside your mouth, making you whimper at the sole action and earning a smirk from the older woman whe you swallowed rapidly.

"Mommy please-."

"Uh uh baby, no whining and just take what mommy gives you. Unless you want to be a bad girl."

"No mommy! I will be good, please, I want to be your good girl only!"

"That's what I thought."

The hand on your chin suddenly fell down and instead went to your hair, pulling it hard that it made you moan out of pleasure, feeling wetness driping between your legs. It was so deseperate not having something soothing the bubbling desire that rised beneath your body, only mommy could do that, and right now, she didn't seemed interested on doing it.

A cry erupted from your lips, while searching with your hips something to rut on, but stopped by Gwen's leg in the middle of it.

"Shh my little love, don't cry and listen to me. You will eat mommy out while riding her leg, but you musn't cum until mommy has. Understood?"

"Yes, yes mommy!"

As soon as she hear you, the blonde placed your face right in front of her covered pussy, which it did not last long when you avidly got rid of her trousers as well underwear by pulling them down enough for you to being on your task. KIsses and soft bites from thighs to her wet folds were earning you hums from the older woman, but it seemed wasn't enough effort for her, as she silently stated by closing the gap between her middle parts and your face. Moaning at it, you went straight at her clit, licking enthusiastically while teasing her labia with your fingers.

Then, a striking sensation rushed into your core, the feeling of pleasure coursing trough all your body when mommy's leg started to push against your own wetness, rubbing the already sensitive nub in the process.

"Fuck! Yes princess, you're doing it so well!"

You whimpered at the sound of Gwen's voice, praising you for eating her so good while riding with desperation her leg in order to build an orgasm, even though you weren't allowed to do that yet. But you determined and stubborn as you were, really wanted to cum, and so made you plunge two fingers inside mommy's, causing her to scream and you to briefly look up. The sight of the older woman pinching one of her nipples trough her blouse while panting your name was arousing and unholy; you loved it.

Sensing you watching her, she returned it with a lustful look and a moan of your pet names. Then, with the hand still tangled in your hair, pushed you again to meet her hips, causing you to whine once more and squirm above her leg. You knew she was close, by the way her walls were clenching and her breath came out rapidly, how her hips buckled erratic against your fingers at every thrust.

And you? At the edge of an orgasm but not quite there yet, with your panties completely ruined from your moist.

"Y/N, yes baby!"

It only needed a couple of thrusts to mommy finally reach her climax, cuming hard and long while you eagerly taste her juices and slowly stop fucking her with your fingers. When she came down from her high, the blonde woman pulled you out to kiss you while still riding greedily her leg to your own orgasm; you couldn't keep it from coming, and all you did was cry and plead with your squeaks for mommy.

"You made me cum so good. Go on my darling, mommy's got you."

That's the only thing you needed for releasing the burst of pleasure inside you, sending you to a spiral of ecstasy and high squeaks while clinging onto the blonde woman. There are tears sliding trough your cheeks, red flush expanding in your face and bruised lips from the previous kiss. You apparently were deep inside your bubbly space that you didn't notice when they lifted you up to sit on Gwen's lap, embracing you in a tight hug.

Peppering your faces with soft kisses and caressing your back, Gwen was slowly trying to get you into reality again, the aftercare never forgotten even when you where in a semi-public place. It took you some time, but soon you were back in your normal but sleepy state.

"Mommy?"

"It's alright little flower, I'm right here."

You smiled at it, hugging her languidly by the shoulders and resting your less fuzzy head in her neck; a small kiss was placed in your hair as a return. Silence was slowly filling the room, the only sounds present the breaths from both of you and the lully of your lover's heartbeat. Only a murmur from you interrupted it.

"Mommy."

"Yes my dove?"

"I love you."

"I love you too Y/N."

----

The end (?)

#gwendoline christie #larissa weems #gwendolineuniverse #larissa weems x reader #brienne of tarth #gwen christie #miranda hilmarson #the sandman #captain phasma #lucifer the sandman #gwendoline christie x reader #imtheindiekid writes

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sgiandubh · 5 months

Note

Hi, I don't know if you understand me or go through this, I would like to know your feeling about it.

After all this circus (which I can't take anymore and after a few years in the fandom) I can't stand Caitríona anymore. I swear I try, I swear I try to get excited about her projects. I swear I try to understand her reasons, her anger, her antipathy towards us all these years. For a long time I managed to suppress this sad feeling I feel for her, but now it screams. I can not anymore.

On the other hand, I still support Sam, even more than I should, because he, along with her, plays the main role in the narrative and is not a saint. I think these feelings would be the signal to leave the ship. I no longer admire her, I no longer miss her, at least on social media, I no longer even want to see her face.

I feel bad for feeling this way, I don't know what to do. Have you ever felt like that? And before you start offending me, I'll tell you: I'm not anti, only or whatever. I am someone who paid a lot of attention to this narrative and ended up hurt, very hurt by them, by her specially…

Dear Feel Bad Anon,

I was just about to go to bed after a very, very long and dense day, but your question stopped me in my tracks. Story of my life, really: that banging on the dorm's door at midnight ('it's vile X, we just broke up, help') - ah, the memories. So, I will not let you down.

First of all, thank you for this ask. It is a genuine one, I know it. It takes a lot of honesty to write it down without cackle, hysteria and the everlasting 'they owe me' refrain (no, they don't owe anybody anything, because, Anon, do you owe anybody anything when you are that much in love? I am sure you don't give a hoot about Aunt Y and Neighbor Z, Anon, and fuck them and their curiosity, eh?). And, my goodness, you really do sound exhausted, here.

Take a good look at this pic I took in Mandalay (see post below) of a Yama Zatdaw (Ramayana) puppet show:

All these public ten years are summed up in here: the puppeteers (TPTB), the puppets (S&C) and the convenient prop ( T) in the middle.

Where are the private ten years? I could think of this Amarapura pic, taken the day after the puppet show:

And that is ok, Anon. It's them. Their lives. Their love. We are just peepers through a keyhole, in here: let's try and do it gracefully.

You don't like C anymore? S couldn't give a damn about how you feel, Anon, and forgive me if I sound brutal. He loves her and he already did the unthinkable for her. C does give a damn about you, however. Not because she cares about you, but because she probably thinks your intelligence and your questioning endanger her narrative and put at risk all the negotiated perks. This is why she thought intelligent to bark at you and publicly insult you: by a simple zealot reflex, her part of the bargain. It has nothing to do with her private truth. You are disappointed by a puppet, not the real C. Or, using this time Plato's Allegory of the Cave, you are mad at the silhouettes reflected on the walls of that cave, not at the people whose reflections you see - those people are outside the cave.

Get out of that mental cave, Anon. Stop racking your brains off trying to give definitive answers that cannot be honestly given with the amount of information we have. Stop obsessing about a visibly curated social media presence, online times and all this shit - they mean very little, especially at this point in time. Trust your heart and your intuition. Trust your life experience. Trust yourself, not me. All this side of the fandom can offer you is based on our own life paths and street smarts. Do I think it's legit? Of course, otherwise I'd not be here or I'd be a pervert. Do I think that together we'd be a step closer to what really is? Oh, by all means. But you are the only sovereign master of the course, here. You are the only one able to choose between believing or rejecting, staying on deck or jumping ship.

I chose to be interested in the puppeteers, Anon. The paper trail. The minute intricacies. The boring details Mordor does not want to see or doesn't know how to translate in simple English. That is really what keeps me going and that is something I will never publicly trade. The more I look into it, the clearer the picture is. Oh, for sure, I take great pleasure in seeing and discussing the script inconsistencies - don't we all? But to me and as I see it, this is the tip of the iceberg. The bar I set myself for public happenings, statements and all the shit show is very low. It avoids undue disappointment and even allows me to be relaxed about it. Not always. Not a perfect strategy. But it is my way of managing it and so far, it works.

Take at least a day off Tumblr. Think of it as detox. I can guarantee you will see it way clearer. I wish you well, Anon. And I really hope my long, long answer helped at least a little bit.

#anon #fandom #shitshow

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goosewriting · 5 months

Text

Across the Galaxy and Beyond

summary: some time after the Mantis crew split apart, Cal has an unexpected reunion with reader on Koboh

relationship: Cal Kestis x gn!reader

warnings: spoilers for Jedi Survivor, vague-ish mention of events from the Battle Scars book but i don't think it counts as a spoiler, hurt & comfort, flashbacks, kissing

word count: 8.9k 👀💧 ...i am unwell about this man what can i say

A/N: started writing this when i first started jedi survivor, and finally got around to finishing it now that i finished reading battle scars and the cal kestis brainworms are attacking me again. story doesn't follow the game exactly. also this could be read as a separate story from my wherever you go, i go trilogy, but i like to think it's the same reader and timeline lol so go read that if you haven't c:

Navigation: Part 1 (you’re here!) | Part 2 (wip)

(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)

— — — Part 1: Just like old times

After Cal's escape from Coruscant, the Mantis was pretty shredded. The main problem was the gyro, but upon entering Koboh's atmosphere, all systems started failing and the Jedi had to make an emergency landing somewhere on some cliffs.

It took a lot of climbing and wall-jumping and fighting the aggressive local fauna, but after a couple of hours, Cal and BD finally made it to the outpost where Greez' cantina was located. On the way there he also encountered bandits who called themselves the Bedlam Raiders, as well as old Separatists battleships and battle droids, of all things. Just what has Greez got himself into?, Cal thinks to himself after saving a local from Rayvis, the leader of the Raiders, and outing himself as a Jedi in the process.

When Cal and BD finally enter Pyloon's Saloon, they meet with Greez. Since the Raiders have just been at the saloon (and the place doesn't look all too inviting either), there are no customers, so Cal and Greez catch up at the bar. The Latero is extremely happy to see the boy and his droid in one piece after all this time. Over a drink, the redhead tells him about the last job on Coruscant gone wrong, how only two of them made it out. He expresses his frustration, how the Empire is only growing stronger and everything he does feels pointless. Things haven't been easy since the Mantis crew split up.

After catching up a little, Greez tells Cal that he has some spare parts and will take care of the ship. He'll send someone to bring the ship to the landing dock behind the saloon. In the meantime, he should take a breather and explore the outpost. Cal doesn't like feeling like he's wasting time, but with the state the Mantis is in, there really isn't much else he can do.

The Latero shows him the room in the basement, telling Cal he can stay as long as he needs. Greez wasn't kidding when he said he had a room just for Cal: there was a meditation area in the middle of the round room, and even his old clothes and some unfinished tech projects were all stashed away in a big chest.

They both sit down on the edge of the bed, and it doesn't take long for the conversation to take a direction Cal doesn't like. Not because what Greez is saying is wrong; on the contrary, he's probably right, but the redhead doesn't want to hear it. Not right now. Greez, in a genuinely concerned tone, goes on about how the game is rigged and Cal should walk away while he can, maybe even settle down somewhere. Cal lashes out for a moment, claiming someone has to keep fighting.

— — —

You approach the stable in the outpost riding on your nekko, humming a happy tune to yourself. You're lost in thought, letting your trusty mount walk the last stretch to the stalls by himself, as he knew the way. Once you reach the structure, you get off and start putting away your haul; you just came from a successful hunt. You'd skin and prepare everything later though, so you pack the preys away in special boxes where everything would be preserved for a couple of days.

“Hello master,” a robotic yet chirpy voice greets you.

You turn around with a smile, facing the Separatist battle droid you had found and reprogrammed to help you out at the stable.

“Hey there, Connor,” you greet back. You've told him several times not to call you that, but he insisted, saying you saved him and now his purpose was to serve you. You take a moment to inspect his blue and black markings that have started chipping more noticeably; maybe it's time for a new paint job.

“Did I miss anything while I was gone?” you ask, taking the saddle off your nekko and placing it onto the designated wooden beam.

“Yes, in fact,” Connor replies, placing new food and clean water in the trough. “There's a ship on the landing pad behind the saloon that I've never seen before.”

“Is that so? What kinda ship?”

“A modified S-161 Stinger, and it's pretty busted up. I'm surprised it even made it this far.”

You stop in your tracks, your grip tightening around the halter you just took off the nekko, which is now happily munching away on its fresh feed.

“Interesting,” you remark, putting the rest of the equipment away and turning around to face the droid. Since you spent most of the day down in some caves, you didn't see or hear anything. “Do you know who was on board?”

“I didn't see who came off the ship, but I overheard some prospectors talk about a newcomer that went one on one with Rayvis,” Connor comments, then leans in closer to you, looking around as if to make sure no one would be listening in on your conversations, when it's clearly just the two of you at the stable. “I also heard Turgle mentioning a Jedi being seen around here.”

“Huh,” is all you manage to say, feeling your heart pounding in your chest. There was no way he was here, right? After all this time? As far as you know, he doesn't even know you're here. So if it is him, he isn't here to see you, but Greez instead. It's probably because of the Mantis; Cal is in need of repairs. This thought immediately replaces the initial anticipation with a strange, cold feeling.

“Can you believe it?” Connor goes on. “I've never even seen a Jedi. I would love to meet them.”

You take a long look at the droid, remembering the state you had found him in. He had never been in the war, actually. He spent several years in an abandoned Separatist camp, never even getting to be activated. So he only knew his programming: serve the Separatists, fight the clones and kill the Jedi. Yet he had never lived any of it. Reprogramming him had been easy in that regard, as his memory banks were mostly blank. Back then you were looking for a droid companion to help you out at the stables, and even though you know what battle droids mean to the Jedi, you can't help but think that they are kinda cute. The B1 models, at least. The B2 series and commandos are pretty scary.

So you gave your new friend a name (you couldn't decide between Hank and Connor, but decided to go with the latter as it somehow suited his demeanour better) and a new purpose in life, and he seems content with that. The only fighting program you left in him is for defending the stable and nekkos. First and foremost it is his mission that they are not harmed. You also ordered him not to leave the outpost, for his own safety. You don't want the raiders to find him and get access to his memory bank. They would use the information against all of you at the outpost, and either scrap him or reprogram him to join the raiders. Once they were dealt with, however, you promised Connor you would take him around Koboh first, then show him the galaxy.

“I'm going to the saloon,” you announce. “Can you take care of the rest?”

“Roger roger!” Connor replies with a salute, getting to work.

You find yourself smoothing out your clothes and hair as you make the short trip to the saloon. When you reach the bar you're met with Monk, the witty bartender droid. He greets you with a happy tone and some strange phrase that you don't entirely understand, as he always does. You ask for Greez, and he points towards the door to the side, saying he's in the basement with some old friend of his that just dropped by.

With a gulp and a forced smile, you thank him and head down the stairs. The urge to turn on your heel and run away grows with every step. As you're about to reach the door, you hear voices coming from the other side.

“-to be something more than a lightsaber.” That's Greez, you think. He sounds… sad? “Think of yourself. Settle down, find a home.”

“What home, Greez?” You swear your heart actually stops beating and accelerates at the same time when you hear the voice, his voice. “There is no home. Home was the Order. It was my teacher.”

You've stopped a couple steps away from the door so it wouldn't open and have you interrupt the conversation, but you involuntarily lean forward to hear better what Cal says next.

“It was everyone I lost… Home was the Mantis with you, Cere, Merrin, and–”

The automatic door whooshes open and Cal and Greez turn their heads towards you as they stand up from the bed they were sitting on.

“I- I didn't mean to eavesdrop,” you sheepishly state after a moment of uncomfortable silence from everyone, approaching him but staying at a distance. “Hey, Cal. It's been a while.”

“Yeah, it has,” he retorts, and you can't really read the tone of his voice.

You look each other up and down, taking in how different you both look since… Since the last time you saw each other. Since you split up.

A thousand thoughts go through your head, and a thousand different feelings resurface, making your heart tighten in your chest, like there isn't enough space for everything it's trying to process.

Greez can't take the tension anymore, so he clears his throat loudly.

“Lemme show you something, Cal,” the Latero says as he walks towards a panel on the far side of the room. He presses a couple of buttons and a section of the wall slides open with a creak, revealing a path behind it. “This is an old smuggler's tunnel, you'll find spare parts in there. Just… be careful, I have a pest problem.”

With that, Greez walks by both of you, giving your arm an encouraging pat, before leaving the room. It's just you and Cal now.

“Spare parts?” you ask, trying to make some conversation. “For the Mantis, I take it?”

“Yeah,” Cal replies, looking at the tunnel entrance but not moving from where he stands. “Gyro's fried.”

You two stand there in silence, and you want to smack yourself in the face. You feel like an awkward 12-year-old all over again, not knowing how to talk to your cr– You stop your train of thought before you dare finish that sentence and potentially embarrass yourself further. The heat on your cheeks that refuses to leave your face since you've laid eyes on the Jedi can't possibly have gone unnoticed by him.

“You know, Greez has had this room set up for you for quite a while,” you tell Cal, shooting him a quick smile. “So I take it you'll be staying for a while, right? The Mantis isn't going anywhere.”

Cal shrugs and shoots you a quick, unsure glance, then casts his eyes back down, scratching the back of his neck.

“I was just about to head out,” you lie. Your plan for the evening was to have a drink at the bar and unwind, but him being here changes everything. “You could join me and I'll show you around if you'd like…”

Cal looks at the tunnel again, weighing the options in his mind. One is going down there to fix the Mantis as soon as possible, then taking off to who knows where. The other… you're not so sure. And if you're being honest with yourself, you're too scared to ask.

“Sure, why not,” he finally agrees with a sigh and starts walking towards the door that directly leads outside from the basement, but you feel like something, or rather someone, is missing. You look around the room, scanning your surroundings for a certain droid, then turn back to Cal.

“W-Where's BD?” you ask, fearing the worst. You'd really hate it if something happened to him.

“Oh, he wandered off somewhere earlier,” Cal says and you release a breath of relief. After calling for him, the little droid comes hopping down the stairs and into the room.

“BD!” you greet the little companion, and he excitedly beeps at your reunion. He comes running towards you and you pick him up in a hug.

“Oh, how I've missed you,” you spin him around a couple of times, then set him back down onto the floor. “I have a droid of my own now, but you're still the cutest. Don't tell him, though,” you add with a wink.

“You have a droid?” Cal asks as BD climbs onto his back and you all make your way out.

“Yeah, he helps me out at the stable,” you explain, pointing at the building as you reach the end of the stairs. The stable is practically behind the saloon. From these stairs it's a very short trek to reach the paddocks.

“Those are nekkos, right?” Cal questions, approaching the fence and looking at the two animals chilling in the sun. “I met Mosey earlier. She said she worked at the stable,” he turns around to look at you. “But she didn't mention you.”

You're about to retort by saying she couldn't have possibly known that you two knew each other, but you're interrupted by a chirpy voice.

“Master! You're back already?”

At the sound of the familiar robotic voice, Cal instinctively draws his lightsaber, and turns towards the side entrance to the stable. You hurry to get between your droid and the Jedi; you don't want to see Connor get sliced today. Not by him. Said droid peeks out from behind the archway, and BD beeps repeatedly, alarmed.

“Wait!” you exclaim, holding your hands up into the air defensively. “That's my droid!”

“Your- Your droid?” Cal repeats, clearly confused. He puts away his weapon nonetheless.

“He's reprogrammed, and he's never even been in the war,” you explain, walking backwards as Cal starts approaching the stable to inspect the battle droid further, with you still between them. “He was never even activated. He's good, I promise!”

“Master, who's this?” Connor asks, walking back into the stable to make room for Cal and you. “Is he bothering you?” The droid activates the blaster you had built into one of his arms, and Cal's hand goes to the hilt of his sabre again, while BD beeps in exasperation.

“No, stand down!” you order, and the blaster immediately turns off with a whirr. “Will everyone please calm down?”

Still standing between Cal and the battle droid, you let out a huff, looking from one to the other.

“Cal, BD; this is Connor, my droid,” you start introducing them. “My good and reprogrammed droid, whose mission is to protect the stable and the nekkos, nothing more.”

Cal seems unimpressed, still looking at Connor with narrowed eyes. You turn to the droid.

“Connor; these are Cal and BD,” you start. “And you know what? Cal here–” You look at Connor with raised brows and lower your voice. “–is a Jedi.”

Connor brings his hands up to where his mouth would be, gasping in surprise.

“You- You are?” he asks, quickly going around you to take Cal's hand and shaking it vigorously. “It's such an honour! I've always wanted to meet a Jedi!”

“So you could get up all close and stab me in the back?” Cal retorts, his voice laced with uncharacteristic venom, and pulls his hand from the droid's grasp.

“What? No, I–” Connor starts but you push him to the side a bit.

“It's okay, Connor. He'll warm up to you, eventually,” you comfort him. “Please go get the nekkos ready for us?”

You've never heard a sadder 'roger roger' in your life and it sends a sting of pain through your chest.

While the droid goes to prepare your mounts, you turn around to Cal and frown at him. He crosses his arms in front of his chest defensively.

“Why would you say something like that? He's genuinely excited to meet you,” you explain. “When was the last time someone was actually happy to see a Jedi, hm?”

“Not a battle droid, that's for sure,” Cal retorts with a huff.

You look up at him for a moment, holding his rather cold gaze. You wonder just what happened these past few years that had him like this. Sure, you understand why he isn't a fan of battle droids. Normally you aren't either. But there's just something about Cal that's… different. He looks older, but it might just be the beard. He also looks more tired, carries himself differently. With confidence like he always did, but also in a “don't mess with me” way that wasn't there before. Gone is the spark in his eyes, that glimmer of optimism and hope, replaced by the promise of not holding back if anyone were to cross him.

For several moments, you just look at each other, and you're sure he's analysing you just as you are him, and you wonder what is going through his head.

“The nekkos are ready,” Connor announces, leading both of them out of their respective stalls by the reins.

You allow the animals to sniff Cal and inspect him, while you give a short explanation on how to ride and guide them. Cal's mount is white with a dark face and legs, while yours is a dark purple and brown. After thanking Connor and waving him goodbye, you both hop onto the saddle and head out of the outpost. You know your way around, taking a route that would keep you hidden from the patrols, both the imperial ones as well as the raiders. You'd much rather deal with the local fauna. And you do come across a couple of rawkas at the river, and a pack of gorgers when heading further up the Southern Reach. But you two make quick work of them.

In fact, Cal has grown stronger, and not only that, but he also has a new array of weapons it seems; now he double-wields his lightsabers, and he also has a blaster, which completely takes you by surprise.

Once you reach the base of the big silo, you get off your nekkos and climb the rest by foot, getting on top of the structure and sitting at the edge. It's not a super well-hidden spot; if the patrols under you decide to look up they would definitely see you, but it's a good vantage point to show Cal the different places. You point towards the landmarks, explaining them to him so he can orient himself and navigate beyond the outpost. You tell him about the caverns, the mines, to look out for different patrols and what areas to avoid; be it because of the raiders, like fort Kha'lin, or because of bigger fauna like bilemaws, goroccos and mogus. Especially mogus. They are fierce.

Once you're done with your explanation, you lean back onto your hands with a sigh. Cal attentively listened to everything, but he doesn't seem interested in keeping the conversation going, as he hasn't said anything.

He's looking out, scanning this corner of Koboh as far as he could see from here, taking in the view and probably trying to commit to memory everything you've said. You look at him from the corner of your eyes, your gaze falling onto the holster on his hip.

“So,” you try starting the conversation again. “You now double-wield and you have a blaster. Which, by the way, is pretty uncharacteristic for a Jedi, no?”

“A lot has changed, I guess,” is all you get out of him.

“Do you have any other new tricks?” you ask, and the memory of him re-discovering his Master's lessons after his escape from Bracca comes back to you, making you smile fondly to yourself for a moment.

“Hmm,” Cal thinks aloud, also leaning back and finally tearing his eyes from the landscape to look at you. “There aren't any new Force-tricks, if that's what you mean. But I do have this.”

He brings one of his arms up, showing you the contraption on his brace.

“Grappling hook. Comes in pretty handy,” he explains, showing you some of the mechanisms. Your hands reach up to gently hold his wrist, so you can inspect the device better, and you could have sworn you heard his breath hitch at the contact. At that moment, you realise that's the first physical interaction you've had since he arrived, and you quickly let go.

“We should head back,” you say as you stand up, dusting off your legs. “It will get dark soon, plus you must be hungry. I know I am.”

“Yeah, I could eat,” Cal replies, getting up to his feet as well, and BD beeps in agreement.

Cal climbs down the silo first, while you scan the area one last time for any patrols. When it's your turn, just as you're almost at the base of the rather unstable ladder, your foot slips and you lose your balance. You hold onto the next best thing, which happens to be Cal. Seeing you're about to fall, his arm reaches around you and he pulls you towards him while with the other hand he tightly holds onto the railing that goes along the walls of the structure.

“You okay?” he asks, and when you look up at him this time, you're finally met with a pair of eyes that you recognise. There's concern in his gaze but also a certain warmth, amused at how you were a fierce warrior yet managed to be clumsy in small things like these. He found it cute, which you knew for a fact because he would tell you often, back then…

“Y-Yeah, thanks,” you mutter, separating yourself from him now that you're back safe on the ground. Feeling the heat spreading on your face, you can't help a sheepish smile. “Guess some things never change, heh.”

“Guess not,” Cal says with a small smile of his own, and your chest tightens at the sight.

The ride back to the Outpost is silent, and you wonder if his body is also reacting as strongly as yours; ever since slipping, your skin feels like it's tingling, and your heart hasn't calmed down in the slightest.

Once you're back at the stable and the nekkos have been taken care of, Connor mentions that Greez left some food for you, and hands you several small containers wrapped with a cloth.

“You wanna eat at my place?” you find yourself asking Cal, who's scratching behind the nekko's ear. He turns around to you with raised eyebrows in what you assume to be a surprised expression, but he's quick to relax his face back to normal.

“I have a room behind Doma's shop,” you explain, holding up the food in your hands and you gesture to it with your chin. “And Greez knows this is far too much food for myself.”

“Yeah, sounds good,” Cal replies, calling BD back to him, who was scanning some stable equipment. “Let me help you with that.”

Cal takes the food off your hands, and you say your goodbyes to Connor, who stays at the stable. It's a quick trip past the saloon's entrance into Doma's shop. She's behind the counter organising some of her merchandise, and returns your “hello” from afar without looking. Only when she hears Cal's greeting does she turn around. She shoots you a look and you know exactly what she means, heat prickling again at your cheeks. You give a curt shake of your head, quickening the pace to evade Doma's questioning, heading for the door at the back that leads to the place you have been calling home for the last year.

It isn't much, but it makes do: one big room, that's both kitchen and a living space, with two doors at the far side that lead to a small bedroom and the refresher. The main room is decorated, you like to think it's warm, cosy and inviting. You even managed to thrift an old couch somewhere, refurbished it yourself, and it now essentially serves as the centrepiece of the room. There are several rugs on the floor, as well as piles of pelts and leather in the corner that you still have to finish working on so you could sell them. These days that's your main source of income.

Cal stands at the door for a moment, taking everything in, and you suddenly feel very self-conscious. The space is clean, but the fact that you can't read his face makes you a little nervous. To distract yourself, you take the food from him, bringing it to the kitchen counter.

“I think the food is still warm,” you say as you start opening the containers, the delicious smell filling both your noses. “Do you mind setting the table?”

Cal and you make quick work of getting everything plated and grabbing some drinks, then sitting down in front of each other at the wooden table to eat. You make some light conversation between bites, catching each other up on what has been going on in your lives recently. He tells you about some of the missions he's been on ever since the Mantis crew split up, and you tell him of your own solo adventures before you came to Koboh.

When the plates are empty, your bellies full, and the conversation is about to die down, you ask if you can check out Cal's lightsabre. He unclips it from his belt to hand it to you, and you catch yourself being relieved at the fact he still trusts you enough to just give his sacred weapon to you without further inquiry.

He's changed some parts and the materials, and you hold the device in your hands with the utmost care, admiring the beautiful design and intricate markings on the wooden accents. Rather suddenly, a feeling of regret and shame spreads out in your chest, thinking about how not only this sabre but also Cal himself went through so many changes, and you hadn't been there for any of it. There's so much you want to tell him, about how sad you are that you weren't there for him, about how sorry you are with the way you left, about how you've been thinking of and missing him every single day. But telling him that wouldn't be fair. You have no right to be selfish like that.

“So what exactly happened that got the Mantis in such a state?” you decide to ask instead, reaching the lightsabre over the table to give it back. Cal takes it with a deep sigh, putting it back to his belt, feeling immediately comforted by its familiar weight.

“A job on Coruscant that went… wrong,” he starts, telling you how his team was gathering intel for Saw Guerrera, and it had all worked out until the very last moment, where everything went wrong, and he lost his whole crew in an instant. Only him and another person made it out of there. In fact, one of his crew members saved his life by pushing him out of the way and taking the blaster shot herself instead.

You listen intently, and your heart grows heavier by the second; you can hear the frustration in his voice, the voice of a man who's this close to giving up entirely, because he's just so tired, but he can't. He won't. You know Cal took it upon himself to fight the Empire by himself if he has to. A trait you genuinely admire but also despise. After all, that was one of the reasons you left.

Then he mentions the Ninth Sister, and your attention is fully back to what he's saying.

“I tried to get through to her, I really did,” Cal says, his voice cracking for a second. “But she wouldn't let up. I had no choice.”

“Did you…?” you ask carefully.

“I killed her,” he says matter-of-factly, but you can tell it's been eating away at him.

“I'm so sorry, Cal,” you offer, reaching across the table and placing your hand on his. “That couldn't have been easy. I'm sorry you had to go through that.”

He doesn't meet your eyes, his gaze fixed on his half empty cup instead, watching the drops of condensation slowly fall along the outside of the glass onto the table, staining the wood. But he doesn't pull away either, so you give his hand a reassuring squeeze.

“You look exhausted,” you finally tell him, and he lets out a breath through his nose, as if saying 'you have no idea'. You offer for him to take a shower here instead of at the saloon before heading back, telling him yours is nicer, to which he chuckles lightly, and he accepts.

He insists you take a shower first while he takes care of the dishes, so you do just that. Once you're out, it's his turn. You hand him a towel and a change of clean clothes, and you can tell he wonders why you have them in his size, until he realises that they're actually his. It's an old shirt and lounge pants that you would always steal from him and had apparently taken with you. He doesn't comment on it though, instead he simply stares at the clothes in his hand for maybe a second too long, deep in thought. Then he blinks a couple of times, as if he just came back from zoning out, gives you a short 'thanks' and gets into the shower.

While he cleans up, you take a seat on the couch, pulling up the novel you're currently reading on your holopad. Only now that you're sitting with your legs stretched out along the length of the cushions do you realise how tired you are, both physically and emotionally. Out of everything you could have thought would happen today, meeting Cal was certainly not on the list. Still, you can't deny that you're happy to see him. For starters, he's still alive. And you've missed him, much more than you care to admit to yourself.

After reading the same sentence of your book over and over, failing to focus, you sigh and look at BD instead, who hops onto the coffee table and tilts his head at you with an inquiring beep.

“Has he been taking care of himself?” you ask the droid, pointing over your shoulder in the direction of the refresher, where you can hear the water running.

BD lets out a sequence of beeps and boops, and you narrow your eyes at him for a moment. 'He keeps himself busy' he said. Is he dodging your question?

“Is that so,” you reply with a hum, and BD shoots the question right back at you. You're a bit surprised at his concern, and for a moment you consider opening up to the little droid, but you hear the water turn off, so you bring your attention back to your book again instead, trying your darndest to focus on what's happening in the story. The washroom door opens with a whoosh.

“Where should I put the towel?” Cal asks, still standing at the door frame.

“Just put it in the hamper underneath the sink,” you reply over your shoulder, and in the corner of your eye you can see BD still looking at you, waiting for an answer. Then he tilts his head with an amused boop; he's got you all figured out.

“Oh shush you,” you start scolding the little droid, but Cal appears, walking around the couch to sit down. Except that your legs are stretched across it, so you start lifting them off the cushions and intend to bend them at the knee to sit properly, but Cal gently grabs your ankles, lifting them off the couch to sit down, and places them over his lap instead. His hand comes to rest on your shin, and you can feel the warmth he irradiates seep through the fabric of your pants.

“You looked comfy,” he points out, his hand gently rubbing up and down below your knee, while with his other hand he props up his head against the back of the couch.

You swallow hard, unable to answer, and bring the datapad up to your face to hide behind it. Why is he being so nice suddenly? Is it because you aren't outside where others could see? Or is it because he realised he still has you wrapped around his finger so he's just teasing you? You're beyond confused at the sudden sign of affection after he's been so distant the whole day, like he hadn't planned on ever seeing you again. And to be quite honest, you deserve the cold treatment. After what you did, the way you left.

Feeling the sting behind your eyes, knowing what's coming, you shrink further into yourself, holding the holopad even closer to your face to hide it from Cal's view. He can't see your expression from where he's sitting, so he gives a light chuckle, thinking you're just flustered. The sound feels like a dagger in your gut, and you unsuccessfully choke back sob.

Now Cal's face changes completely to one of concern, and he pushes the pad out of the way only to be met with your crying face.

“Whoa, wait-“ Cal says, and he retrieves his hands, holding them both up in surrender. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- I thought we-“

“I'm so sorry, Cal,” you croak, crying freely now, as you let go of the device and it falls onto the floor with a 'clunk'. “I'm so sorry for everything, for what I did. For leaving you alone.” Your hands wipe away at your cheeks in a vain attempt to dry off the tears, but they just keep coming.

After the crew split up, the Mantis felt unbearably empty. After the failed mission on Hosnian Prime, after saying goodbye to Fret and Irei, who had definitely changed the dynamics of the crew (you still weren't sure if it had been for better or worse), everything felt like it started falling apart.

The first to leave was Merrin, saying she needed to recentre her fire and find herself again, to be able to draw all the power she now knew she was able to use.

Then, it was Cere and Greez. The Latero trusted Cal and left his beloved ship in his hands, telling him to look after it until he'd be back. Except everyone knew that he didn't really intend to. The loss of his arm had hit him harder than he wanted to admit, and for Greez it had been the wake-up call needed to “leave the game while you can because it's been rigged since the start”, as he would often say. Cere on the other hand took off with new-found determination. Her and Cal's goals weren't all that different: the endgame was to defeat the Empire, one way or another. However, Cal believed in taking action now, while Cere had her sights set on the future, being able to help those who would come next, long after she and everyone else were gone. She wanted to build a legacy, as the 'Jedi's knowledge was far too valuable to be lost to time and circumstance.

After everyone was gone, it was just Cal, BD and you.

The Jedi had become irritable, like he had already convinced himself that you would leave him soon too, as did everyone, apparently. You reassured him to the best of your abilities that you believed in what he stood for and wanted to stay by his side. However, now that you didn't have a whole crew to count on, you had to be more careful than ever.

“We have to be smart about this!” you'd plead, seeing Cal running head-first into danger time and time again.

When the nightmares became too much, you'd hold him tightly, kissing his tears away as he'd cry out for his master, Tapal.

“You were just a kid!” you had yelled at Cal one time, when what was supposed to be a quick run-down of the plan had become a big argument. “You act as if the whole universe is counting on you and only you to defeat the beast that is the Empire. Do you think that that's your destiny? As dictated by the Force? We've had our share of big, successful missions as a group. Now it's time to back down, Cal. We're just two people, what do you expect we'll achieve here? It's time to move on.”

Needless to say, those words had not calmed Cal down in the slightest. Now he felt just as betrayed by you as he did by the rest. More words were thrown at each other like daggers finally let free after being pushed back for far too long in an attempt to keep some level of normalcy between you two. But there was no going back. So you did what you told him as well: you moved on. That same evening, you packed your things and left.

Your heart bled and tears kept streaking down your face with every heavy step you took away from the Mantis, but at the time, you didn't know what else to do. You'd never wanted to leave Cal, and you hated yourself for doing this to him and to yourself, but what you had going on was no way to live anymore. Maybe, hopefully, now that you were gone, he would understand that.

You know it had been a horrible thing to do, especially like that. After years of telling him how you'd follow him to the end of the world. After telling him every day how much you loved him. After promising you'd be there for him. The worst part was that being away from him was far more painful than it was with him. He left a void in your heart that only he could fill. You meant to go looking for him many times, but were too scared. You didn't deserve to have him back. Not after what you did.

But now he's here.

Between cries, you apologise over and over again, saying how what you did wasn't fair, that you wished you had never left and worked it out instead, that you missed him so much it was hard to breathe.

Cal doesn't answer immediately, and you force your somewhat blurry gaze up to meet his eyes, and you see he's starting to tear up himself. He leans forward, lifting you up and settling you sideways onto his lap, enveloping you in a bone-crushing hug. You hold him just as tightly, crying into his shoulder.

“I'm sorry,” The more you say it, the emptier it feels, but it's all you can manage for now, and you mean it. “I really am.”

“I know,” Cal says, squeezing you a little tighter. “I felt it. When you gave me the clothes earlier.”

You remember the countless nights you've cried yourself to sleep in the very clothes he's now wearing, the times when you missed him so much you felt like your heart would rip its way right out of your chest, muttering your regrets into your pillow, as if it could carry your apology and bring it to Cal somehow. You groan in embarrassment; you always forget that your stuff also carries imprints he can feel.

“I'm so lame,” you mumble and pull back to look at Cal, giving him a weak smile that quickly turns into a grimace again as a new wave of tears come rolling down your cheeks.

“No, you're not,” Cal reassures you, one hand cupping your face and wiping over your cheekbone with his thumb. You lean into his touch with a sniffle.

“I've missed you too,” he finally says, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. “And I'm sorry—” He kisses your cheek. “—for making you feel like you were less important than the missions.” A kiss to the corner of your mouth. “You're the best thing that ever happened to me and I took you for granted.” His lips brush over yours. “Can we try again?”

You close the minimal gap and kiss him hard, like Cal was the air your lungs needed after being underwater for too long. He reciprocates just as intensely, pushing you down onto the couch and climbing on top of you. When he finally breaks the kiss, you're both panting. You run your fingers through his hair as he trails kisses along your jaw, and you giggle at how ticklish his beard feels against your skin; that's a new sensation you'd have to – no scratch that, want to – get used to. Your giggles turn into a low moan as he bites the spot over your collarbone, and when you turn your head to give him better access, you're met with BD still on the coffee table, now sitting comfortably, looking up at you two as if it was the most interesting spectacle in the world.

A strangled sound of surprise and embarrassment comes from your throat and you push Cal away a bit by his shoulders, to which he raises his head and grumbles in annoyance for interrupting him.

“We have an audience,” you whine, hiding your face behind your hands, and Cal lets out an amused laugh. BD beeps matter-of-factly.

“What do you mean 'don't mind me'?!” You turn to the droid and you swear that if he had a face, he'd be wearing the cockiest of grins right now.

“Some things really never change, huh,” Cal comments with an amused smile, thinking back to all the times you'd become flustered when you kissed in front of BD, saying it was inappropriate or something. If only you knew that Cal often did it on purpose because he loved seeing your cute, flustered face.

“Unlike this right here,” you point out and bring your hands to his face, stroking over his beard, enjoying the prickly sensation. “This is new.”

“Do you like it?” Cal asks genuinely.

“You know I like your scars,” you say, tracing over the one on his lower lip. “As long as they're not covered up, I think I can get used to it. It does look good on you.”

Cal smiles down at you tenderly and for a few moments, you simply enjoy each other's presence, taking each other in. Making sure that this is real and it's happening, that you're back again. Until you let out a hearty yawn.

“Let's get to bed before we fall asleep on the couch,” you say, rubbing your face, but stop to look up at Cal, who seems very content with his current position and hasn't moved yet. “You are staying here tonight, right? I mean, if you want to, you don't have to. Greez has the whole room thing for you, so I understand if—“

Cal interrupts your rambling with a quick peck.

“Yeah, I want to stay,” he assures you and finally stands up, helping you get off the couch.

“Let's go, BD,” you tell the droid to join you as you take Cal's hand and guide them to the bedroom.

You climb into bed, BD at your feet as he would always do on the Mantis, and Cal lifts the covers to get in as well but stops for a moment when he sees the holopicture on your night stand. In the small frame he recognises Greez, Cere, Merrin, Cal, BD and you in the cockpit, all grinning at the camera. Smiling to himself, he finally gets into bed, hugging you to him.

“I have the same picture of us on the Mantis,” he says after letting out a content sigh at finding a comfortable position. “Guess we still were connected somehow all this time.”

You hum in response, a bit surprised at the romantic implication, as if you were lovers who found comfort in looking at the same moon even though you were separated. But you like the idea nonetheless, and you agree.

The warmth both on your skin and spreading in your heart makes quick work of carrying you off to dreamland though, so before you can even give a proper reply, you're fast asleep in Cal's arms.

— — —

The next morning, you wake up to BD's beeping. You groan, turning over to cuddle a little longer, except that the other side of your bed is empty. You blink away the sleepiness in your eyes, and pout at the lack of Jedi in your sheets. Your nose is quick to pick up the scent of freshly brewed caf however, and the grogginess is quickly forgotten as you get out of bed and make your way to the kitchen, where Cal is preparing breakfast.

After a quick meal and lots of stolen kisses, Cal announces it's time to go check out Greez's smuggler tunnel to find that gyro.

“Be careful,” is the last thing you tell him before he leaves.

“Always,” he shoots back at you with a wink and takes off. You playfully roll your eyes at that, thinking back to the countless times on the Mantis you've had to patch him up after a mission inevitably went astray from the original plan.

While Cal is looking for parts for the Mantis, you go back to your own things, checking in on Connor and the nekkos at the stable, as well as preparing some pelts and sewing up your most recent leather project.

Time goes by fast as you skilfully work the needle and thread through the thick material, finishing the piece after a couple of hours. Setting it aside, you stretch your arms and back with a satisfied grunt. You check to see if your comms are working; they are, but there's no new messages. Strange, you think, Cal sure is taking his time to find that gyro. Is he not back yet?

Suddenly feeling uneasy by your own thoughts of how he might have got lost in the tunnels, or how he may have encountered trouble down there, you decide to go check with Greez yourself.

You quickly make your way to the Saloon, going down the stairs that lead to the bar with such speed that when you reach the end and see someone standing there, you bump into them before you can stop yourself.

“Whoa,” a deep voice exclaims at the impact, and you push yourself away from the man's back you just ran into. He turns around slightly towards you. “You okay?”

“Yeah, sorry, didn't see you there” you reply, regaining your composure and walking around him to get a better look.

He's not super tall, but he has a strong and broad build. Although you already felt that when you bumped into him and it was like walking into a wall. You give him a quick up-and-down, trying to gauge if he's friend or foe, but you can't quite read him. He narrows his eyes at you ever so slightly, probably doing the same.

“A new face, how rare,” you start, walking over to the bar and leaning on it with one arm. Your other hand finds its way to your hip, where you realise there is no holster or weapon; you mentally reprimand yourself for leaving your staff at the stable.

“Care for a drink?” asks Monk from behind you.

“No, I'm looking for someone,” the man says.

“Of course you are,” Monk replies with sarcasm. You give the bartender droid a nod; you'll take care of this. As he wheels back into the kitchen, you hear him mutter something about how his bar isn't a lost and found counter. Before the stranger can go on however, the doors at the back of the saloon whoosh open.

“Who's this?” asks Greez as he enters the main room.

“I was just about to ask him,” you reply, your eyes still trained on the man.

“I'm looking for Cal Kestis,” the man in question says instead, and your hand on the bar involuntarily curls into a fist.

“Who? Kal Restis?” Greez asks as he approaches him. “We don't know any Kales. Listen, if you're not gonna order something, get out of my saloon.”

“No, not Kale”, the man says, getting slightly exasperated as he repeats the name slower, and Greez keeps getting it wrong on purpose.

Just as you're about to intervene and send the man away, the entrance doors open and in comes Cal, a soft smile of self-satisfaction on his face.

“Cal!” The man greets the Jedi. You hear Greez mutter “Oh, this Cal Kestis” under his breath as they clearly recognise each other.

“I found the gyro,” Cal announces first, throwing a small mechanical part to Greez, who's taken by surprise but still catches it. Then he turns to the intruder with a smile. “You made it!”

“Good to see you, Cal,” he replies, and the two share a friendly handshake.

“Greez Dritus, this is Bode Akuna,” Call starts introductions, telling this Bode your name as well. You merely give him a short nod in acknowledgment as Cal continues. “He was on Coruscant. Wouldn't have made it out alive without his help.”

Oh, that changes things.

You leave your spot at the bar and drop your rather cold gaze to join the group. Coming to stand next to Cal, you take his hand, and try your best to give Bode a thankful smile. He returns it, quickly catching on.

“Wait a minute. Another one?” Greez quips, looking behind Cal. You were so focused on Bode, that you hadn't even noticed the strange looking droid that came in with the redhead. “Cal, you have a very bad habit of picking up strays.”

“I am ZN-A4,” the droid introduces herself with an exaggerated bow. The design and material she’s made of is something you’ve never seen before. “Humble servant of the Jedi Order.”

What.

“Oh, I take it you haven't broken the news yet,” Bode says to Cal, who sheepishly shrugs his shoulders.

Cal then brings everyone up to speed, telling you how when he was in the tunnels with BD, they stumbled upon this old chamber where the droid was stuck, so they freed her. Turns out she's a droid that belonged to a Jedi from the High Republic, of all things. Her master, Sandari, had sent her to activate the so-called forest array (that strange building the other side of the river that doesn't quite fit in with the rest of the scenery; you've always wondered what it was but never found a way to get in). However, Zee, as everyone started calling the droid, is in really bad shape, and she'll never make it that far. She looks dejected as she says that if she fails her mission, then the key to Tanalorr may be lost forever.

At the mention of the name, Greez chimes in, telling the group that there's an old prospector legend about Tanalorr being a world filled with treasure. But treasure or not, the important part is that it seems to be a real place, one potentially beyond where the Empire can reach: a safe haven.

Zee is delighted and very thankful that everyone seems on board with her mission, and the group is quick to formulate a plan: while Monk gets her up to speed regarding the state of, well, everything, and she gets some much-needed repairs, Bode and Greez will take care of the Mantis. Meanwhile, Cal, BD and you will go to the forest array to check it out.

As you're making your way to the stables, you nudge into Cal's side with your elbow.

“You didn't get hurt down there or anything, right? You sure took your time,” you ask him. It did not go unnoticed by you how in Cal's retelling of events, he skilfully left out how he happened to find that mysterious chamber in the first place.

“The tunnels were pretty old and unstable, but we're okay,” Cal deflects, shooting the droid a quick look. “Right BD?”

BD beeps in response, and you shoot Cal a glare accompanied by a muted gasp, stopping in your tracks.

“You fell through a hole the equivalent of several stories?!” You can't believe this guy.

“It's fine!” Cal tries to reassure you, bringing his hands up to your shoulders. “I promise, it's nothing a stim didn't already fix. So there’s no need to worry, okay? We have a job to do.”

You sigh in defeat as he places a soft kiss on your forehead. You first cup his face softly, then pinch both his cheeks.

“Just what am I going to do with you, Cal Kestis?” you ask rhetorically, taking his hand into yours and resuming the short trek to where Connor is already waiting and waving at you both.

Once you're all geared up and hop into the saddle, you tighten the strap of your staff, adjusting its position on your back.

“Just like old times, huh?” you ask at no one in particular, scanning your surroundings and taking in the scenery; it just never gets old. Cal's nekko trots up next to you.

“Just like old times,” he repeats, with that boyish smile you can't get enough of, and the glint of adventure in his eyes.

Your nekkos take off, and the freckles on his face seem to shine in the sunlight. They form the ever familiar star map that you'd follow time and time again, finding your way back to him. Because from the first time you looked at him, you knew: you'd follow this man across the galaxy and beyond.

— — —

A/N 2: if you understand the droid name reference you get a cookie 🍪

A/N 3: in the book Battle Scars there’s a part where BD tells Cal, and i quote, “Where you go, I go”, and when i tell you that i screamed omg (the first part of my “wherever you go, i go” fic was actually called ‘where’ but i changed it to ‘wherever’ when i added more chapters because to me it sounded better asdsdf) BD-1 and me sharing one brain cell obsessed with Cal fr😌

~~~~~

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#goose feathers #cal kestis x reader #star wars cal x reader #jedi fallen order x reader #jedi survivor x reader #star wars x reader

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