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#like honestly do they really expect us to give a flying fuck about respecting people who did nothing to earn the immense privilege they have
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Me at Harald’s statement about Märtha Louise and her fiancé.
Can anyone explain to me why I, as an American, should give a single flying fuck about the Norwegian royal family?
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honey-milk-depresso · 2 years
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so i had a mental breakdown in my server, sorry for people who just joined ignore my rants and stuff-
TW: Death, mentions of suicidal thoughts, me keeping pent up frustration for 5 months, uncensored words
but i was crying so much, it felt so gross, and geez idk how i broke my dam of emotions today but-
ever since my grandpa died, on the day of my birthday, it was the first time i had to ever think of crying in front of someone or just act natural and say “thanks” if they wished me. honestly i thought i didn’t deserve those wishes or gifts. i should’ve been there to see my granda’s last days but i was so busy with school and other things i couldn’t fly back to see him.
so, that was my first time ever concealing very hard i was super sad. then on top of it all, i have to tackle exams, and my feelings were just giving in, and i did not meet my expectations at all. i wasn’t proud of myself, and i was angry about myself for caving in to my own words, and yet again i resorted to not telling or showing people how sad i was.
my logic was (and still is) that if im not prioritising others, im being selfish and a horrible friend. the fact that i was growing to be more resentful towards the people i love didnt help either.
@his-jinny who deactivated after anons harassed them over plagiarism, anons kept complaining to me about how she was being a coward even after she left like im the culprit, and even before that demanded and pressured me to respond to the situation i wasn’t even involved in.
i was so annoyed, and frustrated, and i wanted to flip them off, but i didnt wanna be rude and insensitive since they also had a point my friend didnt listen to the blogger to stop doing that twice, i said something completely rational while i grew so irrational and feral about it.
and i kept it to myself.
my irl situation was... pretty stupid honestly. my social life got harassed by someone i thought was a friend, abandoned me when i was no use to help them in academics anymore after seeing my math grades drop to a B.
obviously, mad at that piece of shit, but i didnt really said anything much other than “they’re being shitty”. i felt way more than that.
time goes by, and everyone around me see me as that bratty over 3 fictional characters and i felt treated like dirt wipes by everyone. like even if i was useful once im dirty you threw me away and tossed me around like i wasn’t of any value. like i shouldn’t be treated with respect and you called me “bitch” and “motherfucker” and what not. yeah, i know that, don’t have to remind me thanks. and i was caught up in this dilemma of being truthful about how toxic i was getting or making sure everyone dont get hurt. obviously, majority feel great than one individual feels like shit, and i went with it.
i mean, being exposed to it would’ve naturally made me do the same, too, right? i felt like i was (and is) in no position to tell anyone off.
and it went on and on with people on tumblr, on discord, irl, online all treat me like fucking nothing and that im not in control of who i am and what i do, and it felt like i was living off of people’s expectations and feelings that i just crumbled.
all those dark thoughts... i thought of even caving in. i can’t express or describe to you how painful and how morbid and gruesome these thoughts were. i couldn’t even imagine i could think of such things of doing to myself.
i can’t tell you exactly what they were, but they were terrifying, and i was scared, and cold, and lonely in all those thoughts. if you compared “usual” me to when im really by myself and alone, you wouldn’t think that was me.
but being “me” online didn’t felt like me at all.
i felt that who i was is horrifying, and no should know. why would i want you all getting out of my life? i couldn’t imagine that!
but that’s selfish of me, keeping everyone to myself. then what am i supposed to do? cave into those dark thoughts and just do it? no, i wouldn’t, i would hurt people. but that’s pretty egoistic of me and selfish to think people would worry about me and be burdened or even bothered about me, won’t it?
so much dilemma, so much of spiraling down an endless hole of confusion, anger and desolation.
and to think i broke down after so long, crying in vc was so embarrassing despite having people tell me it’s not.
i was so mad at everyone and everything, i thought i was being selfish, and that they were too, but that’s all because it’s my fault for being the worst.
people who rant so confidently and even to me i wondered why cant i be like them? why do i have to hide and cower like a loser?
and i tell people you’re brave to be expressing your feelings, and i didnt. i was in a horrible state (and still am).
i was so mentally torn to shreds i started to be more exaggerated that im fine, i was happy, you think im in love with t*ey despite me saying no (like an annoying bitch- im so annoying-) and again i caved in to those anons saying im not worth to be in the twst fandom, or any fandom or with anyone. im just... a bad person.
im a bad person who cant handle themselves.
i wish i can take a break, but i cant. i have work to do and important stuff ahead of me i must continue on to work hard.
@rizavi-m @sherbet-shark @quaintl1ng @mehletmesleep thanks but i dont feel like im worth anyone’s time.
but hopefully, i won’t fall victim to those dark thoughts of mine.
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wallflowerimagines · 3 years
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oh hello!! i found your blog and i’m so amazed at what you write! i’m unsure if i’ve asked here before, or if this is my first time. how would the lords react to a young F!reader who has liquid mercury wings, and also doesn’t know how to smile (yet)? lil ‘kuudere’ mercury angel lmao. i hope this isn’t too much to ask ^^ tysm and stay safe!! 💛
Thank you! 💛 This is my first time getting this ask. I've interpreted it as more of a child/young teen reader, let me know if you envisioned it differently!
Alcina Dimitrescu
Congratulations! You've just been adopted! 🎉🎉🎉
All of Alcina's mom instincts just clicked on the minute she saw you. You're so small. So cute. She felt the same instant connection to you as she did to her three daughters.
Without even being able to really process it, you're given a room, an entire new wardrobe, and three older sisters who adore you just as much as their mom does. Honestly, it's a little disorienting.
Alcina is a little worried about the fact that you seem to have no real emotions, but she's a patient lady who believes firmly in communication. If you like something and tell her, she believes you. Some people just don't emote that well, after all. She gets used to it very quickly.
(And if anyone even so much as makes a snippy comment about your face or tone, they're straight up dead.)
She is the kind of mom who wants ALL the pictures of her darling children, and makes you sit for many, many formal portraits--some of which she even paints herself.
She likes incorporating Angelic imagery in all of your portraits, too. Your wings are beautiful, and she wants to make sure that you never have insecurities about your appearance or your abilities. If she can show even 1/10th of how perfect she finds you, she calls it a mission accomplished.
Alcina never expected you to smile for her, honestly. You had limits, and she respected them. But when she unveiled the newest family portrait--with all of her children featured prominently--to her surprise she spots a small, trembling smile on your lips.
And when you say 'Thank you, Mother'? Alcina gets really emotional, and even a little teary eyed.
She Immediately drops to her knees and pulls you into the BIGGEST hug. You are always welcome.
Donna Beneviento
But if you're baby, and I'm baby, then who's driving the bus?
Donna does not know how to interact with you. She's already quite inexperienced with social interaction, and without the feedback that she normally gets from people's facial expressions, she's left floundering.
She's really trying her best, too! It's just, your voice doesn't even have the slightest bit of inflection. Are you happy? Sad? Give her a hint she is suffering.
Your deadpan tone just CRACKS Angie up, though.
Angie bridges the gap in your relationship. She is talkative and wacky, which fills the awkward silences between you and Donna very easily.
Similar to Donna, you find it very easy to talk to Angie! She doesn't force you to smile, or talk, or do anything you might be uncomfortable with. She's playful and loud, so you don't have to try very hard around her.
Eventually you two reach a peaceful, relaxing medium. Donna slowly accepts that your words are meant to be taken at face value, and with that realization a lot of the stress between you two melts away.
Also, if you let her make you clothes? She👏is👏 LIVING👏
She loooves to make things for you, and the wings only offer a welcome challenge. She's never worked with anything like that before, and she's so excited!!!!
Angie also wants you to fly around with her in the yard! The three of you actually have a lot of fond memories of outdoor tea parties where Donna primly sits in a chair, watching with a small, happy smile on her face as you flutter through the air with a SCREECHING Angie in your arms. She's having a BLAST!!
It's the first time she sees you smile, too, and it just makes her own smile grow. She never thought she'd have another sibling, but life really is full of surprises, isn't it?
Salvatore Moreau
Salvatore is SO concerned...
You're really young, left alone, with an obvious physical difference that can be spotted a mile away. Someone could target you very easily, and despite your wings he doesn't know if you could safely defend yourself. He really wants to help you out, but uh...
Kids are consistently terrified of him? He doesn't know if you would accept his help or run away screaming.
...but your clothes are so ratty, and it's so cold outside...
Moreau decides to sneakily leave you some cheese and a spare scarf on a rock in plain view. When he sees you put the scarf on and absolutely DEVOUR the piece of cheese, it steals his resolve.
He winds up leaving you a small trail of cheese pieces that lead to his home, and sets up a small separate nest like area for you. It's entirely enclosed, warm and far enough away from his room that he hopes it won't spook you. This will work great!
Little does he know, that you were only a few paces behind him the entire time, and when he finally finished with the setup, he turned around to find you hovering in the doorway, expression blank as always, and mouth full of cheese.
Moreau screamed
You seem happy enough with the new setup, though, and begin to follow Moreau around like a baby duck.
Dr. Moreau Time: He does give you the occasional exam to test your reflexes. He's worried a little bit about the composition of your wings--Mercury is a chemical that is known to cause madness and nerve damage with extended exposure, especially in young children.
He wants to ensure that you're safe from harm, both physical and mental!
One night, many weeks later, when you two are seated side by side watching a movie, you flop into his side with a small smile on your face, and fall asleep. Moreau tries not to wake you up with his overwhelmed sobbing.
Karl Heisenberg
Hello?? Child?? Why are you here???
Karl doesn't quite know what to do with you, at first. He's not bad with kids, per se, but it's suspicious for him that you just so happen to have a variant of his metal powers and were found wandering around outside the Factory.
He suspects Mother Miranda immediately--are you a spy? Another one of her victims? He doesn't know, and until he does you will be fed, clothed, and kept at arm's length.
Once he confirms your lack of involvement in her schemes, he engages with you a lot more.
Initially, just kind of baffled by the fact you don't emote, but upon further thought he totally gets it. Emotions suck, man. You don't gotta express more than you have to around him, he's cool with it.
He's more used to being a Fun Uncle rather than a dad (he's totally helped Alcina's daughters sneak out and cause mischief before this), so he only vaguely knows that you should probably have a bedtime, regular meals, and a social circle? He'll halfheartedly try to enforce stuff, but if you push back at all he just let's it go.
He, uh, will also let you help him mess around with corpses for the soldats? Definitely not age appropriate, but still, he wants to share his passion with you and teach you a little bit about metalwork.
One day, he does a little metal bending trick in front of you and makes you a flower, just to show off. Your eyes just LIGHT UP and the tiniest little smile shows up on your face, and when you reach your hands out to grab it--
Something deep in his chest just seized up all of a sudden. Shit, that's cute.
Shit, does that mean he's attached??? FUCK, WHEN DID HE GET ATTACHED??
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morningsound15 · 3 years
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there’s so much beauyasha to mention in 126 and it cannot all possibly be mentioned (bless whoever made this compilation video) but here are some highlights for ME
yasha going out of her way to buy that anti-scrying cream to try and protect them from being scried on was just so sweet. i mean maybe she got swindled who can say but all she wanted was true, legitimate privacy with beau and that’s precious of her. yasha almost never buys vanity items so i love that she wanted to do this, like she REALLY wanted that (1,000 gold!)
veth/beau. gosh what a scene. love sam always, ik that’s controversial because some people feel like he trolls too much & has been undercutting the beauyasha of it all but no honestly love his vibes he always brings humor and heart to his scenes and he always makes me laugh and this one with beau was so sweet & genuine & helpful, veth bought beau a flower to give to yasha that’s so wholesome. and beau wanting to wear a bowtie omg…
“i’m going into this with no expectations and on yasha’s terms and her timeline” MS. MARISHA RAY said we drink our ‘respect our traumatized potential romantic partner’s boundaries’ juice in this house
“i could be likable. *deep breath* yeah. i could” oh beau you sweet sweet bebe
love how much the m9 want this date to happen. caleb orchestrating everything, veth’s pep talk with beau, everything jester and fjord have said to them in the past episodes (esp jester encouraging them to be open about their feelings the whole poem scene my god), then of course caleb and cad shoving them into the tower together like ‘no y’all are going on this date please have a moment of happiness’ -- because like… they wouldn’t, you know? they both probably feel like it’s selfish to take that time if something else is more pressing. if they needed to go back to cad’s home or if they needed to use up those higher level spells they would have let it happen and never objected. like it’s sad because of course both of them deserve love and deserve to take even just one evening to not be scared for their lives, but mostly just warms my heart because of their love for the group. they’ll de-prioritize themselves if they have to (the beauyasha date getting postponed was basically its own meme at this point) or if it’s necessary and they’ll never complain about it, because that’s just the kind of gals they are. so so so so so glad that the mighty nein are like ‘no stop it go and do this you useless lesbians’ i love them for that
laura bailey fully ducking under her table when yasha doesn’t know that beau wants to hold her hand was me in that moment too
liam’s panting dachshund faces — enough said. everything about the doggies made me so happy, love that beau/marisha thought of that because ashley/yasha literally must scritch every dog she sees
i love ashley’s face as she gets drawn deeper and deeper into beau’s wooing of yasha it is just so wholesome the whole date and all the work put into it clearly just means so much to her and she deserves it!! yasha deserves it (and so does ashley!) and so does beau and bless marisha and liam for making it happen i’m so happy for them
beau: “when i was in kamordah, that fear of losing this family… i almost sabotaged it. just so that i wouldn’t have to deal with the angst and the anguish of wondering if and when and how this family will fall apart. like ripping off a band-aid that was never there. i guess over a wound that was never there. just tried to rip it off for the pain, and nothing else.” yasha, whispering: “yeah. that’s relatable.” (followed by: *laura aggressively mouthing ‘kiss!!!’*)
yasha: “i’m so scared to lose everyone. i don’t want to lose anyone, because i don’t know if i could survive that again.”
“i fell in love with you in kamordah” *swoon*
yasha: “you blow me away” beau, soft as a breath: “feeling’s mutual”
beau: “that’s why you’re my favorite” *intense blushing* yasha: “who me?”
fucking WING FLYING KISS PLEASE MS. JOHNSON i am only human
‘claim the rest of the night with me?’ is such a specific sweet way of phrasing that... marisha’s mind…
beau: “hey.” yasha, whispering back: “hey.” beau: “i love you too” and then ashley’s FACE god damn it
stained glass window hand holding is extremely gay caleb thank you for making it happen
another thing that strikes me is how generous matt was this whole episode. i mean he always is really, he’s always rooting for them, but this time he really was just like “you’re leading the charge and i’m just here for the ride” like breaking all the rules of combat and everything he really said “i’m gonna give the gays everything they want” and i love him for it
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halstudandruz · 3 years
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Research Purposes ~ Part 3
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*Gif: Not mine; credit to @thompsonconnors
Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader/ Adam Ruzek x Reader
Requested: Yes
Prompt: What happened after Adam catches you and Jay? Part 1 (18+) here /// Part 2 here
Warnings: Swearing
A/N: I used some dialogue from S6E10, but the rest of the episode doesn’t pertain
A/N 2: Wouldn’t you all be pissed if I ended up putting the reader with Ruzek 😂
You and Jay were on his couch silently eating pizza and watching Hulu. Not having said very many words to each other in the last two hours.
“I didn’t want him to find out that way.” You eventually broke the silence. Jay reached for the remote pausing the show to turn and face you as you sat up away from where you were cuddled into his side. “I mean I wasn’t ecstatic about him sleeping with Hailey, but if he would’ve just told me and been upfront about it I think I could’ve handled it better.” You admitted.
“So you wouldn’t have slept with me in other words?” He joked making you chuckle.
“Oh I still would’ve done that.” You smiled.
“I think he just didn’t want to hurt you. You know Adam. That would have never been his intention.” Jay replied.
“Well no I don’t think he did it on purpose, but I just turned around and did the same thing to him. What if he thinks it was out of spite?” You sighed.
“You don’t have any obligations to each other any more, [Y/N].” Jay shook his head.
“I know it’s hard for you to understand, and it’s hard for me to explain to be honest. You have to remember we were engaged. It wasn’t some fling. Our relationship was serious. I wanted to be with him. I wanted to have a family with him, and when it ended it hurt like hell. I know I don’t have any obligation to him, but in order to see him everyday. Work with him everyday. There has to be a different kind of respect, a different kind of… regard for each other than we have with everyone else or it won’t work.” You tried to explain.
“Then why didn’t you just tell him about us?” Jay finally asked.
“Because I don’t even know what’s going on here.” You laughed, “I mean are we just fucking? Cause if that’s the case we should be doing a lot more of it.” You pointed out, reminding him how more and more nights have ended in just a cuddle session in his bed.
“You know I’m not good with emotions and saying how I feel, [Y/N].” He sighed, “I honestly didn’t expect for this to happen. One night of fun turned into wanting you here every night. Ya know? Regardless of whether it ended in us sleeping together or you just... in my arms.” He rubbed the back of his neck nervously.
“Jay, if they go up in flames and Hailey comes running to you where does that leave me?” You eventually asked the question that had been pegging you for the last few weeks.
“You know that’s not fair to ask me when I could ask you the same thing.” He replied.
“You don’t think I know that?” You questioned, head falling into your hands, “I don’t know, Jay. Okay? I-I don’t know!”
“What are you saying?” He pushed.
“I’m saying maybe it shouldn’t be this hard.” You shook your head, emotions running through you, tense silence falling between you two again. “I’m really tired.” You admitted, leaning your head against the back of the couch.
“Alright come on let’s go to bed.” He stood up turning the tv off and moving to clean your plates up.
“Do you want me to sleep on the couch?” You asked, biting at your lip and he turned to give you an incredulous look.
“Why would you think I would want that? You know I sleep better with you beside me.” He replied making you smile, body feeling just a little bit lighter.
“Yeah me too.” You agreed, helping him clean a little before going through your bedtime routines comfortably. Sliding naturally into his body once you laid down.
“Goodnight, baby.” Jay whispered into your hair laying a gentle kiss on your forehead.
“Goodnight.” You said, returning a light kiss onto his chest, nuzzling further into his arms.
“Come on [Y/N] you gotta get up.” Jay tried to wake you with soft kisses across your neck and shoulder. Groaning you didn’t move, “I promise I let you sleep as long as possible.”
“Can we just get my car registered for a spot already?” You whined.
“You’re the one that said that was and I quote “testing our luck and a waste of money.”” He teased.
“I will give my life savings for ten more minutes of sleep.” You replied, sinking further back into Jay’s warm chest.
“No, no, no!” He lectured rolling away from you.
“Ugh, fine.” You grumbled pulling yourself out of his bed turning to see him lying in only his boxers, “Are you trying to provoke me?” You gestured to his body causing him to chuckle.
“If I wanted to provoke you I could do a hell of a lot better than this.” He smirked, “Plus I already got my own shower this morning so no go.” He shooed you away getting up to riffle through his dresser. Rolling your eyes you trudged to the bathroom to get ready for the day.
The ride to the district was filled with a comfortable silence, the tension from the night before gone. He put his truck in park after pulling up behind your car.
“Just so you know I’m gonna stay at my place tonight.” You informed him, reaching for the door handle.
“What? Why?” He practically whined, but a nervous tone seeped in as well.
“Because I see you all day everyday and I would like to binge a carton of ice cream without your judging eyes on me the entire time.” You joked.
“I do not judge you.” He defended.
“Uh huh of course not babe. See you in a few.” You leaned over to give him a quick kiss before climbing out of the truck.
When you got to the district Trudy whistled to you summoning you over. You stood in front of it, hands clasped together on her desk. “Goodmorning.” You stated cautiously.
“Wanna tell me why rebel without a cause looks like someone pissed in his coffee this morning?” She raised an eyebrow at you.
“No, I do not.” You replied.
“Well then just a friendly warning to step cautiously today.” She looked back down at her desk nodding her head towards the steps.
“Yeah..thanks Sarge.” You sighed moving to buzz in. You could feel the edginess when you entered the bullpen, but you couldn’t tell who else had noticed it. “Goodmorning.” You mumbled passing everyone on the way to your desk. Luckily everyone was able to work normally despite the obvious agitation in Adam’s demeanor, but per Platt’s advice you stayed out of his way as much as possible.
“Alright so we do it the old-fashioned way. Farm it off. Every beat cop and CTA worker, get every gang and tact unit across the city. If someone knows this guy, that picture’s gonna be enough to spark it. Ruzek, you run it past Mark.” Hank ordered before moving back into his office. Everyone nodded moving towards Jay’s desk to make plans. Adam moved off on his own and out of the corner of your eye you watched Hailey follow behind him. Sighing you looked back to Kevin making mental notes of the plan he was laying out to Jay.
“Alright let’s roll.” Kevin shrugged on his jacket when you heard yelling in the distance. The three of you exchanged confused glances before you easily picked up Adam’s voice.
“It’s Adam and Hailey. They’re downstairs.” You informed the two men, detouring your route to hurrying down the steps, their voices only getting louder as you made your way towards them.
“I’m not gonna talk about policing with you again!” Adam’s distinct voice carried.
“I care about you, I care about you and I-“ Hailey fought back, stopping to turn when she noticed the three of you enter the room.
“We can hear you guys in the stairwell. What the hell are you doing?” Jay asked, looking between the two. Hailey looking guilty and Adam standing at defense, restlessness clear in his frame, from more than just the conversation you were guessing.
“Nothing. It’s fine. Sorry.” Hailey cleared her throat, shaking her head.
“You cannot be having this conversation here. It’s not the time or place.” Jay warned, glancing back up the steps.
“Oh but it’s a perfectly fine place for you to stick your tongue down [Y/N]’s throat?” Adam bit back and you watched Hailey’s eyes go wide flicking between all of you.
“What?” She asked and the look in her eyes at the information pinged a feeling of jealousy deep in your stomach.
“Oh yeah you didn’t know?” Adam took a step towards Jay, anger radiating off of him.
“Watch yourself. Who do you think you're talking to?” Jay straightened his body, jaw clenched.
“I’m not scared of you, Halstead. I’m not some rookie straight out of the academy anymore.” Adam pointed out.
“All of you, cool it.” Kevin whispered harshly stepping between the two men, ”unless you want Voight to find out whatever is going on here I suggest you all get back to what you were supposed to be doing.” He ordered. Adam threw you a cold glare before maneuvering around Kevin and heading up the stairs.
“We’re supposed to be out securing an ID.” Jay grumbled stalking out of the door, Hailey following behind slowly.
“To be a fly on the wall in that car.” Kevin winced looking back to you.
“Yeah.” You laughed dryly. Starting to walk towards the parking lot.
“Hey, it’s gonna be fine.” He tried to reassure you once he slipped into the driver's seat, starting the engine. Kevin knew more of what was going on then anybody else did. You and him had been partners in crime since your first day at the district and even before that in the academy. Your partnership was comfortable and he knew you better than most people. You had each other’s backs always, and even though he was best friends with Adam, who had without a doubt been chirping in his ear about his discovery the night prior, Kevin always remained neutral. So, you knew he would lay it straight for you. He found out about you and Jay the Monday after it had happened. You were pretty good at hiding stuff, but not with him. He could read you like a book.
“This is such a fucking mess.” You huffed watching out the window.
“Well I’m certainly not going to tell you you’re wrong there.” He agreed blatantly, “You should’ve been more careful.”
“You don’t think I know that, Kev? But it’s done now. He knows and I have to find a way to deal with it. I don’t even understand why he’s so mad. He’s doing the same thing with her, and I didn’t act like a jealous teenager when I found out. What he just did was unnecessary.” You sighed heavily knowing that there was more to the story. “I know he’s going through more than just this. I can tell this case is getting to him and he’s struggling and honestly it kills me that I can’t be there for him. It kills me every time I can’t help him through it. I miss him and what we had, but maybe it is for the best. But.. I don’t fucking know! How am I supposed to know?” You slammed a fist against the dashboard and Kevin didn’t even flinch. Adam was impulsive and had a short fuse, but what had happened a few minutes prior was not something Adam would do on a normal day.
“So, what are going to do about it?” Kevin asked looking over at you expectantly, but all that came was silence. You didn’t know. Did Adam still want to be with you? Was that why he was so angry or was it just a lingering reaction? If he was jealous, if this thing between you the two of you was still a possibility then what? Plus Hailey knew now. What if that pushed her in a direction you didn’t want her to go? Maybe it opened her eyes. Maybe she was confessing her feelings to Jay right now in his truck and that scared you. An uncomfortable selfish feeling radiated through your body at the thought. The unknown was starting to terrify you. The possibilities, the factors, all of it was too much and you weren’t sure how it was going to play out.
You had finished the case getting out of the district at a decent time that day. Which you were glad for. The room was starting to feel too small. You needed space to breathe and room to think. Which is exactly what you did. For hours until you came to a conclusion. You loved both of them, but in the end you knew who you wanted, who you needed.
You couldn’t keep dragging them around like this. Dragging yourself around like this. You were going to figure it out and you were going to face it head on. Walking up to his door your heart was racing. You had already made up your mind, but that didn’t mean you weren’t scared to actually face it. Taking a deep breath your knuckles lightly rapped the door. How were you supposed to tell someone you loved you didn’t want to be with them? Shifting on your feet you couldn’t help, but chew on your lip, anxiety only heightening when the door swung open.
“We need to talk.”
All Taglist:
@corebore123 @scarletsoldierrr @hehurst23 @beautiful-bunny89 @ingie @halsteadsway @malrunaway @grettiwrites @inlovewith3 @wanniiieeee
Jay Taglist:
@jayxhalsteadx @life-treatments @weepingfestivalmentality @toomuchtv95 @queen-of-arda @sofferderynnp
Taglist for series: @miranda0102 @5sos-imagine @5hundreddaysofsummer @a-f-f-a-n-c-u-l-o
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thefanficmonster · 3 years
Text
My Kind
Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)
Warning: Swearing
Genre: Fluff, RPF (Real Person Fic)
Summary: Having been chosen by the gang to be a guest streamer on today’s stream of Among Us, it’s safe to say Y/N’s super excited but also a bit nervous. The whole of her anxiety gets lifted off her when she meets someone with the exact same vibe as hers - yeah you guessed it.
Requested by @monizzle96 Hi dear! Thank you so much for your wonderful request! I’m so terribly sorry it’s taken me so long to write and post it but here it finally is! I hope you come across it and read it and if so I hope you enjoy it! Love, Vy ❤
This has to be the fiftieth time I’ve checked my setup in the past twenty four hours. But no, I’m definitely not nervous, what are you talking about. Pshhh. Nah, being nervous isn’t in my brand. Plus, what do I have to make me nervous - a group of famous streamers inviting me onto their stream to play Among Us with them because they enjoyed my own streams? Ok yeah, that’s a pretty good reason. Not gonna lie, I almost chucked my phone out of excitement when I received that DM from Toast, telling me they’d picked me to be their guest streamer for today’s date. My stomach was doing somersaults for a good forty-eight hours following that text and then the anxiety slowly started setting in fueled by the expectations they probably have of me.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not inexperienced in the streaming field, I’ve been a streamer longer than some of the members of Toast’s streamer gang actually. But I never managed to garner that big of a following which I’m honestly quite ok with. I have a modest - ok, maybe larger than modest - following consisting of incredibly loyal fans which I will never stop being grateful for. They are all so respectable of me, my privacy and my boundaries. They know the main rules: no shit-talking in the chat or in any of my comment sections, no bashing other YouTubers in my comments/chat, and most definitely not asking for a face reveal. Fun fact: I didn’t even set up that last rule, they all just collectively know not to ask for it. 
I’ve been keeping my brand pretty low-key to avoid garnering some unwanted attention - some of which I’ve already experienced on certain social media platforms following the full body pictures I posted on there - face not visible of course. I tend to also have my webcam on, facing towards my hands working away on the keyboard sometimes when I stream. I don’t know why people obsess over faceless content creators’ hands, but I appreciate the enthusiasm - it also drives me to do a manicure every now and then which ain’t so bad, self-care and all that you know.
Now, back to the subject of my ridiculous nervousness.
You see, it has layers.
I’m nervous of ‘preforming’ underwhelmingly and I’m nervous of what my own fans will think of the person I will become during this stream. They know me as a super chill and laid-back person, which I am by the way, but they might think I’m putting on a show if I exhibit any nervous gestures/vocabulary. I highly doubt they would, but the possibility is not letting my mind rest. And now that it’s about ten minutes till the stream starts, I’m getting doing my best to calm my nerves.
They are all just people. You know they are super chill too. Just be yourself, that’s why they invited you, because you are yourself on all your streams. They liked you for your personality, humor, maybe even your gaming skills. So chill the hell out and be yourself, damn it!
Easier thought than put into action that’s for sure.
I start my stream five minutes early just so I can vibe with my viewers for a little while before I have to meet the gang. My fans always have a way of injecting me with confidence, they remind me of where I was when I started and how far I’ve come. How much I achieved when I thought I’d be nothing and no one, someone the algorithm would simply overlook. But then they entered my life and I entered theirs and it all became much better than I ever thought it would get to be. I rarely tell myself ‘good job’ for the milestones I’ve reached or the hard work I’ve put into my content, but that’s probably cause I orient myself based on that quote from the movie Whiplash: ‘There are no two words in the English language more harmful than good job’ - simply put, I’m never satisfied with what I do and I always strive to do better. My fans, however, make sure I don’t go overboard with it - always serving as a reminder that I’ve done plenty for myself and others. And that’s what makes an amazing fandom, one I consider family.
Whoa, when did those five minutes fly by?!
Ah shit, here we go. Deep breaths, Y/N you got this.
“Hello!“ I say as I enter the Discord call, subconsciously biting my lower lip, grateful the camera isn’t capturing it. However, I make a mental note to keep my hands steady cause that’s the one part of me people can actually see and the last thing I want is for them to see how much my fingers are trembling.
“Oh hi, Y/N!“ Toast is the first one to greet me, “Welcome to the stream! Thank you so much for accepting our invitation.“
“Thank you for having me and inviting me, Toast. This is a huge deal for me. You guys are basically YouTube legends, this is unreal to me.“ I reply, cringing immediately afterwards because of my fangirl rambling. Great way to make first impressions, Y/N. Bravo.
To be fair, they already have an impression of you. Quit stressing.
Aright, you’ve got a point, me.
“Oh please, we owe all that to our fans. We’re really nothing special. All streamers are almost completely alike, we all owe where we are to the people who helped us make it there - our fans. We’re no legends.“ Toast says, bringing a small smile to my face as well as a light pink blush to my cheeks, “And from what I’ve seen, you yourself have quite the following. And your fans seem to adore you.“
“And I absolutely adore them.“ I chuckle, “They mean the world to me. They are the reason I’m here today.”
“Then we have to give them a special thank you, don’t you think?“ The teasing, familiar giggle, widens my smile - it’s Rae, “Nice to meet you, Y/N! I’m Rae, and, no cap, I’m quite a fan of your content. No joke, I binged your entire series of Resident Evil 7 as soon as I found your channel when Toast said he’d invite you.“
This rattles me a bit. I can hardly believe it - am I really receiving a compliment from an A-list name in the streaming world? My fans must be hella proud of me right now. A quick glance at my chat confirms that they indeed are. That in and of itself fills me with joy and newfound confidence.
“Oh Gosh, thank you so much Rae! That means the world to me. You’re all so sweet.“ I reply, lifting my ice cold hands to cool down my burning cheeks, my lips spread into a grin, my stomach filled with butterflies.
“Oh please, we have some real savages around here.“ A male voice, seemingly Charlie’s scoffs, “Don’t overlook us please.“
“Wait, we do?“ A deep voice, one I immediately know the owner of speaks up, “Who? How come I don’t know about that?“
I can’t help bust snort, “Nice to meet you, Corpse. Sarcasm central, I see.”
He laughs, “Just returning it to where it’s due. Nice to meet you too, Y/N. Sick Outlast series, by the way.“
Ok, wait, I have two A-list streamers complimenting my content. Ok, I’m bound to crack open a few beers to celebrate later cause OH MY GOD.
“Thanks! I’m a horror junkie so I’d be lying if I said I haven’t binge watched all your story-times. Personal favorites are the deep web ones, they fascinate me.“
“Oh, you’re one of my kind even more than I expected, huh?“ He replies, the tone of his voice changing, raising a bit due to what I can only describe as excitement and enthusiasm. “I’ve had people tell me it’s twisted, but I really like seeing the lengths to which the fucked up human mind can go to. Like, the shit I’ve read is insane! Some stories I didn’t narrate cause I would’ve probably had my video taken down, it was that messed up.“
My eyes widen, sharing the same excitement at the thought of digging deeper into this phenomenon, “Careful, Corpse, you’re walking a dangerous line of tempting me to deep-dive on Reddit in search of those exact stories.”
“No need.“ Corpse says, his tone now taking up a bit of a cocky note, “I still got them all saved, I can send them to you no problem.“
“Please do! I seriously gotta read them now. If I can’t sleep afterwards, I’m blaming you, Corpse. Just FYI.“ I say, giggling slightly, finding myself all but completely comfortable now. I wonder where all that anxiety went? 
“Blame fully taken. Given that I’m not much of a sleeper, I’ll keep you company whenever you think there’s a killer hiding in your closet or fear a red room pop-up will appear on your computer screen.“ He replies, chuckling.
“Um, that’s oddly specific.“ Charlie comments, “Been there yourself, buddy?”
“Perhaps.“ Corpse wheezes, getting a laugh out of me too, “I will neither confirm nor deny.“
“You know what, I’ll just private message you my number so if you see it call you at some ungodly hour, you don’t freak the fuck out. Sounds good?“ I ask, already prepping to type it out and send it to him. 
“Perfect. Wait...“ he pauses for a second, sounding puzzled for a second, “You don’t have mine.“
“Oh, do I not?“ I reply with a sinister tone - thought to answer the question, I of course don’t have his number.
“Oh, do you?“ He sasses me right back. “If so then you don’t need me to send it to you. Cool.“
Ah, shit
“Wait, no! I-I need to confirm it’s the correct one!“
Damn, never did I think I’d be complimented by some of the most important streamers on this platform, but to get a number of theirs too? That’s a whole another level that will take me time to process. But I’ll do that another time, right now, I have to kick these people’s butts in Among Us and later I have some deep web stories to read.
Turns out, all it takes to get comfortable in a new surrounding is someone of your kind. And Corpse is definitely one of my kind.
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Text
Bound Blood (Cassandra Dimitrescu/Reader, Soulmate AU) Pt. 4
Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Rating: T+ for language, nudity (but, like, for art), and violence Warnings: Unhealthy dynamics, including violence between the shipped pair, leaning heavily into the "enemies" part of "enemies to friends to lovers" Summary: Local vampire discusses art, depictions of certain anatomy, and enjoys the company of her feral soulmate for 4.5 minutes. Then it goes to shit (as things tend to do). 0-60 Real goddamn quick. Previous Chapters: 1: Sharing Is (Not) Caring; 2: Bloodbath, Baby!, 3: Haunt Me Dearly
4: Portraits For Ghosts
“Am I really supposed to just… stay here? Did she honestly think that I, of all people, would behave? The universe gave me two good hands, and by God, I intend to make that someone else’s problem,” you mutter to yourself as you get dressed. It’s not that you necessarily had anything in mind, rather that you hated the idea of waiting around for who knows how long for Cassandra to return. Especially considering what she had done prior to leaving. Sure, you had laughed, but that hadn’t meant much in the end. At this point, you hadn’t even been out of the dungeon for a full day yet, and the memories of what happened there were fresh in your mind. Nightmares, too, even if you had pushed them aside to deal with Cassandra’s. Why did I bother? You wonder, frowning. There was hardly any point to comforting a monster, no matter the way they trembled.
Or at least that’s the lie you sold yourself.
Soon enough, a knock at the door brings you out of your head. Daphne, maybe, you think, remembering the maiden from yesterday. When you open the door, however, you’re met with an unfamiliar woman. She’s a few years your senior, at the very least, and appears surprised to see you. In her hands is a very enticing tray of food.
“Lady Cassandra wanted me to bring this to you. I am… I am glad to see you are feeling better already,” she says, voice shaking. What was with these maidens and assuming you were anything like your soulmate? Though that last part did catch your interest. Something told you that she wasn’t at all referring to your time in the dungeon. If you had learned anything from Daphne, it was that the best way to get information was to be indirect. So you graciously accepted the food, before speaking, dodging your way around your ignorance.
“Yes, it’s amazing what a bit of meditating can do for the soul- and body, that is,” you start, watching closely for any veiled reactions. Even within the first few words you can tell that this stranger wasn’t expecting you to be pleasant. “Out of curiosity, what did my Lady say about my condition? There are, uh, a few details that I hope she did not share. I’m sure you understand.” As soon as the words leave your mouth, the maiden is nodding, appearing eager to satisfy you. Maybe a hint of fear can be useful, after all.
“No worries, Lady Cassandra did well to respect your privacy, and we would not dare question her further. She simply explained, to her family, that you were dealing with a migraine. I only heard this because I was helping serve breakfast,” she explained, smiling softly. You’re quick to nod, mimicking her expression for maximum empathy. “Do you require anything else? I am here to serve, you must only ask.” Ah, perfect. Would she have offered this even if you hadn’t attempted to be charming? Probably, but your politeness certainly didn't hurt.
“Well, there is one thing… as long as it’s no trouble.”
---------------------------
It had been a risk, asking the servant to take you to a room you weren’t sure existed, but one that had paid off brilliantly. Even if said room was nothing like you had anticipated. Who would have thought that Cassandra, you think, would be an artist? What’s far less surprising is the fact that the studio (or ‘study’, as you had called it) is a disorganized disaster. Discarded papers lie scattered around an overflowing trash can, a cabinet with an attached tool rack is missing pieces, and in one corner there are literally random shards of broken glass lying about. What is this, performance art? Part of you feels tempted to clean up the mess, if only to occupy your time. Instead, you decide to examine some of the pieces within the room. Maybe somehow they’d tell you something noteworthy about your soulmate.
First, you move to your left, where a workbench houses strange sculptures. For the most part they’re abstract, jagged edges contrasting with gentle curves, but there is one you think you understand. It’s very clearly a bust… of someone’s ‘bust’. Guess that solves the age old question of ‘boobs or ass’, you think, stifling a giggle. Moving on, you shift your attention to the exposed section of the cabinet. One row is dedicated to small vials, each labeled with a concerning ‘blood’, despite the fact that it’s clearly not refrigerated. Still, you have heard of artists painting with blood before, but you seem to recall them mixing it with something else. Perhaps Cassandra had done the same? Though you did wonder if she had any difficulty resisting the urge to drink the blood, at least prior to mixing it.
Shrugging, you continue to the other side of the studio, squatting to get a closer look at the broken glass. As expected, there’s no discernable pattern or purpose. Huh, you think, wonder why she doesn’t clean up. Maybe she’s waiting for a servant to do it? Guessing her reasoning was rather difficult, especially considering your lack of context, such as how long the mess had been here. Deciding that this was a pointless distraction, you move on to the only other thing of note in the room: An easel, in the center, with a canvas nearly as tall as yourself. So far, there’s little on it other than pencil lines, a sketch marking where to paint certain details. Only the (start of) the background has been colored. Understandably, it’s hard to make out what exactly the finished project would end up representing. Based on what you know of Cassandra and her family, however, you infer that this- with four figures, one larger than the others, protective- is a painting of the castle residents.
“Family means something to you, hmm?... I hope that mine does not miss me much, for I will never see them again,” you say to yourself, instinctively reaching out towards the art. Before you can touch it, or think better of it, the door to the studio is flying open. In storms Cassandra, fists clenched at her sides. As soon as she sees you, she’s rushing forward, pulling you away from the easel. “Hello, darling. Glad to see me feeling better, yes?” You teased, smiling wide at her. Feeling a bit emboldened by your earlier success, you go a step further, leaning in to give her a quick kiss on the cheek.
“I swear to fuck, if you touched any of my stuff-” Cassandra starts to say, intentionally ignoring the kiss, even though her cheeks get flush at the contact.
“Nope, not a single thing. Not even the broken glass. Nice touch, by the way, makes the whole space feel a helluva lot cozier,” you interject. For a few moments she holds you by your shirt collar, staring you in the eyes as if determining whether or not to believe you. Somehow, some way, she declares you innocent, releasing you with an irritated sigh. After pretending to dust yourself off, you return your attention to the central canvas. “Do you do a lot of art of your family? I passed by several pieces on my way here, though they were certainly in a different style.” Another pause, with Cassandra waiting for you to spring a verbal trap.
“Some of those are mother’s work,” she answers, tentatively, eying you closely. When you merely nod in reply, expecting her to elaborate, she starts to relax, little by little. “I doubt you passed any of mine. Mother tends to keep those closer to her quarters, or near the main entrance.” Interesting, you think, why hasn’t she addressed my original question?
“It sounds like she’s very proud of you,” you muse, still facing away from your soulmate. There’s a slight shakiness to your voice, as your mind starts to dwell on memories of your own family. Perhaps noticing this, Cassandra takes a few steps closer, one hand hovering over your shoulder, not quite sure if you needed (or perhaps deserved) any comfort. In this moment, you feel far more vulnerable than you had the day before. Taking a deep breath, you try to center yourself, before perfectly ruining whatever trust you had just established with Cassandra. “Something tells me she doesn’t know about the titty sculpture though, right? Can’t quite imagine that one being displayed where everyone can see it.”
To your immense surprise, Cassandra gives you a blank stare.
“You… you really don’t know anything about my mother, do you?” She says, after several awkward seconds. It feels strange to think that she had been furious, merely a handful of minutes ago. “If you actually behave for a while, I can show you some of her favorite pieces around the castle. Then maybe you’ll understand.” Intrigued, you debate how exactly to respond. On one hand, you did want to see the art, but on the other hand… misbehaving was your goal of the day.
“Sounds like a nice date to me. Why not start the tour right now?” You suggest, hoping to meet your ‘politeness quota’ earlier rather than later. Still, it is in your very nature to be chaotic, and you find yourself giving Cassandra an affectionate shoulder touch. It’s not at all genuine, but the two of you blush nonetheless. How could you not, when your blood was bound together, hearts made to race in sync?
“Don’t get friendly with me,” Cassandra stammers, unadjusted to the way her pulse pounded. “This isn’t a date. We’re just- it doesn’t matter, actually. As long as it means getting you out of my studio, I don’t care.” With that said, she takes your hand in her own, pulling you towards the exit. If she has any feelings about the soft touch, she hides them well… unlike yourself. Cheeks flushed, you’re half tempted to yank yourself out of her grip, hating the way your heart skips a few beats. Would I still feel this way if I didn’t know we were soulmates? You wonder, biting your lower lip to prevent any unwanted comments from slipping out. Soon enough you’d have art aplenty to distract yourself with. Hopefully.
---------------------------
“My God, you were not kidding. I don’t- I can’t even think of anything clever to say,” you chime, staring dumbfounded at the several statuettes of naked women. They seemed to fulfill some other purpose, one you couldn’t parse at the moment, but you could hardly think about the details right now. “I mean, good for your mother, for sticking to a theme, I suppose,” you continue, tripping over your own tongue, uncharacteristically quiet. Clearly amused by your flustered display, Cassandra lets out a hearty laugh.
“Good to know some things can shut you up. I’ll have to keep this in mind for next time you bother me,” she teases, light-heartedly. Her words only fluster you more, though they quickly give you room to counter, much to your joy.
“Is that so? Planning on carrying around a busty bust for the rest of your life, or thinking of going the more au naturel route?” You asked, briefly sticking your tongue out at Cassandra. It takes her a moment to understand what you’re getting at, but as soon as she does she’s smacking your arm with an offended huff. Despite her irritation, the blow is relatively soft, and you swear you can see her fighting to hide a smile. “Starting to go soft on me, are you? I hardly even felt that one.”
“So you’d prefer I hit you harder? And to think you called me kinky,” Cassandra fires back, without a hint of hesitation. Now both of you are laughing, softly, like old friends sharing fond memories. It’s… weirdly nice. A warmth fills your chest, even as you try to remind yourself that you shouldn’t be happy right now. Damn it, you think, suddenly frowning, hands clenching. We shouldn’t be having fun banter, back and forth like a real couple. Not when I’ve still got wounds from her hands on my skin. Instinctively you reach up to your face, thumb running over the marks Cassandra’s nails had left behind. The touch stings, bad, no matter how gentle you try to be. Noticing your shift in expression, your soulmate inches closer. “If your wounds are bothering you, I can have one of the servants get more ointment or whatever it is we have around. I don’t want you to-... There’s no reason for you to suffer more than you need to, besides, I don’t want you complaining all day.” Of course she couldn’t bring herself to imply that she cared. Of course. It wasn’t like the two of you were actually capable of being soft for each other, obviously. All of your confusion melts down, boiled by the warmth in your chest, turning to a familiar, albeit painful, rage.
“Right, right! Because you care so fucking much, yeah? What the fuck am I doing? Why am I-” you jab a finger towards her chest, accusatory- “talking to you? Why am I pretending you're not the one who did this to me? You’re the fucking reason my face hurts, my shoulder hurts, my brain-... I can’t stop thinking about everything that happened down there. I can’t get those goddamn images out of my head, every time I close my eyes, every time I look at you. I…” You trail off, chest heaving a little, tears pricking the corners of your eyes. Cassandra’s standing tall, unflinching, but there’s a noticeable regret in her expression.
“What. Are. You… going to do about it?” She asks, through clenched teeth, fighting back the full force of her emotions. You can’t tell what exactly she’s feeling, but you know that you want her to show you. Every part of you is itching for a fist fight, regardless of how stupid you know the idea is.
“Depends, dickwad, on whether or not these statuettes are properly secured,” you snap, already moving, fully abandoning all impulse control. By the time your hand grips the first sculpture, Cassandra has put you in a headlock, forcefully tugging you backwards. Panic sets in, making you try to jam your elbows into her stomach. Before long both of you are tumbling to the floor, bodies already aching, limbs flailing wildly in an attempt to hit a target, any target. In the end the air is knocked from your lungs as your head smacks against the ground. “Shit, shit, shit,” you grumble, coughing, finally processing just how much of a dumbass you were. It’s clear that at least one of the previous day’s wounds has reopened, and you feel something wet and sticky on your shirt.
“Finished, asshole?” Cassandra wheezes, sounding dazed, roughly pulling you up by your shirt collar. You nod, refusing to meet her gaze. Then she’s sighing in relief, letting you lean on her for support, holding you surprisingly close, considering the circumstances. “Let’s get you cleaned up. Again…”
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mythiccheroacademia · 4 years
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Hey!! Could we please get more sugar daddy fics with a black reader ofc 😋 idk if you've done shoto already but that'd be nice or hawks and deku💕
A/N: “wrist on glitter, waist on thinner, imma show you how to bag a eight-figure nigga” 👅💋 I enjoyed this way too much
All characters are 18+
Warnings: it got a lil spicy so imma put the line 
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Todoroki Shouto:
this mf has money to burn 
we all know todoroki came out the womb w cash from his hair to his ass 
he’s on some “yes, jeff bezos knows me” type shit so if you’re tryna end up with someone that’s gonna possibly buy you a house, he’s your guy 
he slid into your dms after you posted a pic with your skin moisturized and glistening under golden hour and your body had him wanting to run laps 
he had been plottin on you for a min but never got the motivation to do something about it until then
he’s a no strings attached type of sugar daddy
todoroki is a big name even outside of hero work and he’s well aware of all the people that have tried to use him. so instead of letting that happen, he’s decided to do things on his own terms 
when yall first started talking, he questioned you like this was managerial position at apple 💀 
best believe he ran an in-depth background check and made you sign an NDA 💀💀💀
he was a tough one
but you passed w flying colors and y’all settled on an arrangement
you have a weekly allowance that hits your bank account every saturday with some bonuses that he’ll give you depending on how the week goes
todoroki isnt needy nor is he one to be all up in your business 
it’s actually weird in an endearing kind of way? 
he only wants to have conversations with you 
i mean, dont get me wrong, he’s up for anything you are
todoroki would be a liar if he said he never ended some nights with a picture of you and a hand down his pants 
but that’s not what he’s mainly looking for 
you figure out very quickly that shouto just wants someone to talk to 
he’ll randomly hit up your phone and have a 30 min convo about something like the weather or hero politics, and then he’ll dip
next thing you know, you got $1000 in your cashapp
you kind of panicked bc like...wtf? 
your dumb ass messaged him: “did you mean to send $1000?”
sis, dont put a question mark where God put a period
him: “Yes.”
and that was the end of that
you dont question anymore
he’s not doting in any kind of way, and sometimes you lowkey think he forgets about you, but you still get your allowance 
doesn’t send a lot of gifts unless you explicitly state you want something
he doesnt text back a lot, but he tried to respond when he can
but i do see him liking it when you send him mundane things you do throughout your day, like pics of cookies you baked, or a cool plant you saw at home depot
and he enjoys the times you and him end up just trashing his father for nearly an hour. expect to find flowers, with some expensive ass coats or something at your door the next morning 
he really fucks w your laid back vibe 
sometimes he forgets you guys arent really supposed to be friends 
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Takami Kiego (Hawks):
this is not hawks’ first time being a sugar daddy
he’s hot, rich, and one of the most eligible bachelor’s in japan with a life that prevents him from having anything too serious
so, long story short, he’s a veteran at this 
he used to be the type to reach out to instagram baddies but he had a couple bad run-ins and decided to stick with the official sites because it was a lot more secure on both ends 
the funny thing was, you set up your account a long time ago as a joke. though at one point, you did take it seriously, but you came in contact with a lot of super creepy men that sexualized you for your skin and ethnicity. 
you were tired of the “chocolate king/queen” and “amazonian god/dess” comments,so you took a break. you didnt have much activity since
so imagine youre surprise when the #2 hero hit your line talking about some 
“Hey~ I’ll get straight to the point. I think you’re beautiful and I’d like to talk with you about an arrangement” 
you thought this was a fake account, but after he chatting for a little and sending some pictures, you knew he was the real deal 
hawks is your standard tit-for-tat transaction sugar daddy
he’s the type to hit you up at night with a “how ya doing, dove? got any pics for me?”
he’s good about his respect ad won’t do anything out of line
it’s the bare minimum, be he doesnt fetishize you so that’s always nice 
however, he does make you call him daddy, sir, etc. whether it’s through text, call, or when y’all get together for...reasons
ngl his dicc game is fire
he might ghost you for a week or so but he’ll always come back with a nice check to make up for it 
just be careful about catching feelings bc he’s so fucking smooth. he makes you feel like you’ve got his heart, but dont fall for that shit
if you think you can “change him” or fuflfil whatever wattpad romance fantasy lives in your head, he is not your guy. you better get on w your life before you get your heart broken
he’s here to suck, fuck, send pics, do a little phone call here n there, send some money, and go 
if you’re not with all that, you might as well dip 
but if you’re cool with that, rest assured, you’re gonna be living your best mf life with this man in your wallet 
and good news, you might not be his only, but you are his favorite
there’s just something about you that’s got him giving you a few extra thousand than he normally does 
he doesnt take his sugar babies on proper dates bc he’s gotta stay away from media outlets, but he will invite you to his office for a “lunch break”
if you ever surprise him with a cute but sexy hawks cosplay, you won’t have to work for two whole weeks bc you cant walk  
overall, he’s a good sugar daddy. defintely good for your pockets and any other non-romantic desires you want fulfilled
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Mirodirya Izuku:  
the way you two met and came to this arrangement was more or less an accident
the life of the number one pro-hero was lonely and stressful 
he’s tried to dip his toes in the water here and there, but it never worked out because not many people could deal with the fact that he’d always put hero work first
he was teetering on the edge of signing up for one of those sugar daddy/baby websites until he met you at some cafe he passed by 
it’s cliche really. you were his server and, honestly? he was hooked on day one 
he watched you intently as you pranced around in your cute uniform. he couldnt stop admiring your brown skin and eyes and how cute your hair was. you spoke with such enthusiasm and cheerfulness that he couldnt help but swoon. and it didn’t hurt that you were very easy on the eyes
he listened to you as you went on a spiel about how college was a fortune and how you stayed up last night for a project bc you had to pick up extra shifts
that’s when he made his decision
by the time the hero is out of the door, you collected the reciept and almost fainted when you realized he left you a $500 tip and his personal number 
“i enjoyed talking to you today and i hope we can continue that...here’s something small to help with your bills. and i hope this isnt too forward but you’re very beautiful. stay safe. deku.”
and what did you do that night?
you called his ass right back
you were nervous as hell bc you still couldnt believe this was real, but after talking on the phone with him for two hours, an arrangement was set
midoriya is the most gentlemen like sugar daddy out there 
you wake up to good morning texts and a few hundred in your bank account almost every two days 
he goes crazy over your insta posts. and if you wear something green? expect a bonus
takes you out shopping unprovoked 
izuku: “are you busy? i saw you were having a rough week and was wondering if you wanted to go to that new outlet mall downtown”
you: 🏃🏾‍♀️💨  
you most certainly had homework due that night but what tf you look like missing out on that offer? 
it’s after so many “dates” that deku realizes that he prefers hanging around you more than he should but he doesnt wanna ruin anything so he keeps that underwraps 
he’s the idiot that goes into this thinking he won’t fall in love
deku defintely has some dirty thoughts about you but he doesnt try to bring it up unless you do first
if you’re comfortable with anything nsfw, you gone see a whole different side to izuku
he’s a giver, giver, giver, but when he recieves, he just about loses it
send him “innocent” pics of yourself matched with a string of filthy texts and he’ll combust 
when you send him pics of yourself in deku-themed lingre, he deadass sends you a whole black card with your name on it as a thank you
you guys get very comfortable with each other very quickly
soon enough, DA’s start turning into y/n stayng over for a week 
you both realize this relatiosnhip runs a lot deeper than an arrangement when he accidentally let it slip that he told his mom about you 
he’s profusely apologizing but you shut him up with a kiss and tell him that you’ve kinda caught feelings yourself 
your next conversation works out well for the both of you 
1K notes · View notes
ilikefandoms · 3 years
Text
Family Dinner - Robby Keene
Request - Hi, it's me again. You could write something in which the reader and Robby are in a secret relationship and Daniel notices that boy's passionate gaze and is curious to know who the mysterious young woman is who was leaving him like this, then asks him to invite her to a family dinner . It turns out that Daniel didn't even imagine that this girl was the golden student of Cobra Kai, almost as relentless as Tory and Samantha's number one rival. Throughout dinner, the reader does her best not to provoke a scene, even with Sam's indiscreet insinuations about her being a bad person and to make matters worse, a conversation about sexual orientation arises in a very prejudiced way from Louie and she is extremely offended after a prejudiced comment about bisexuality (she is bisexual, Robby knows and accepts this), Daniel ends up being faster and goes after her, the two talk very cute (almost father and daughter) and the two end up giving each other very well . Anyway, after all that mixture of emotions that was the night, Robby takes the reader home which leads to a lot of affection and kisses on her part (deep down, under that badass exterior she is just a big monster of affection ❤). Sorry if it took too long hahaha.
Pronouns used - She/Her
A/N -  Disclaimer: I do not agree with anything that Louie says in this, it is purely for the storyline. I also kinda made Sam look like a bad guy...sorry Sam.
Warnings - Louie being a biphobic asshole, language
Word Count - 1593
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You and Robby had a somewhat 'secret relationship'. You had both decided not to tell anyone, considering the rivalry between your respective dojos. Anyway, you were enjoying spending time with Robby alone.
Daniel had begun to get suspicious though. He had noticed that Robby had been acting different than usual, smiling at his phone, and getting home later. Daniel had made the fair assumption that Robby was in fact, seeing someone.
He had not-so subtilty brought up the question in conversation, taking Robby aback. Robby had admitted it though, and Mr Larusso had asked to meet this ‘Mystery Girl’, and asked Robby to invite you to family dinner.
So, here you were standing outside the Larusso’s house, having just texted Robby that you were here. You didn’t want Sam answering the door. 
Robby opened the door, “Hey babe, why didn’t you knock?”
“I didn’t want Sam or someone opening it to see me,” you shrugged, “I’m just nervous I guess, what with mine and Sam’s rivalry, with Cobra Kai. Everything,”
Robby wrapped his arms around you, “It’s gonna be ok, alright. If it ends up being too awkward or whatever, we can leave,” he reassured.
“Thank you,” 
He kissed your cheek, “Anytime. Ready to go in?” you nodded. Robby placed his hand in yours, and you walked in.
The Larusso’s house was beautiful, it had off-white walls, a mixture of hardwood and patterned flooring, and large windows. It was probably one of the nicest houses you’d ever been in.
“Hey Robby,” Amanda Larusso approached you, “This must be your girlfriend. I’m Amanda,”
“Y/N,” you said.
“it’s so great to meet you, Robby’s told us so much about you!” She said - even if this wasn’t true.
“No he hasn’t,” you said, with a weak chuckle.
“Okay, well... that’s true, but I hope to get to know you more today. Okay, we are eating outside today as it is a lovely night. Everyone else is already out there, make yourselves at home, and dinner will be ready in a few minutes,” she said, smiling.
You both thanked her, before heading outside to where everyone was talking. “Hey everyone,” Robby made your presence known.
“Hey Robby!” Daniel greeted, before laying his eyes on you, when his smile faded. It was no secret that you were the Golden Student of Cobra Kai, you had even been known to take Miguel and Tory in fights, and of course...Sam.
“What is she doing here?” Sam exclaimed, gesturing towards you.
Your grip on Robby’s hand tightened. You had expected this, so you decided to stand your ground, “I was invited,” you asserted.
“Who would invite you here?” Sam asked with narrowed eyes.
“Sam,” Robby said, in an attempt to calm her down. 
It was at this point that her eye’s travelled down to where yours and Robby’s hands were enlaced. “Don’t tell me you’re actually dating this bitch,”
“Sam!” Daniel scolded, and just before an argument could come out, Mrs Larusso arrived, holding trays of food.
“Am I interrupting something?” She asked, her eyebrows raised.
“No, mom. We’re fine,” Sam said, partially through gritted teeth.
**********
There had been evident silence since dinner had started, it was starting to get annoying, how Sam was giving you death glares from across the table. Anthony was doing the same, although he was just probably copying what Sam was doing.
Amanda then decided to break the silence, asking you a question “So, Y/N how did you and Robby meet?”
“We met at the skate park. Robby was tried to do a new trick, but it went wrong and his board ended up flying in my direction, he apologised, we started talking, and...here we are,” you replied, giving her a smile.
“Oh that’s sweet, and from what little Robby has said, you do karate?” she questioned.
“Yeah, I do,” you said, purposefully not saying your dojo’s name - even if Sam and Mr Larusso knew, you wanted to keep the dojo rivalry to a minimum.
“She’s top of her class as well,” Robby added, “She can easily beat me in a fight,” 
“Only because you fight dirty,” Sam uttered underneath her breath.
You ignored her, “I wouldn’t say easily,” you protested, “But, yeah I can totally kick your ass,” you said, letting out a small laugh. Sam rolled her eyes
“Wow, that’s really impressive. What dojo do you go to,” Mrs Larusso asked.
“Oh, um, Cobra Kai,” you said, somewhat trailing off towards the end.
“Oh. Okay, is this why this dinner is being so awkward?” she said, and no-one answered, “Obviously it is,” she mumbled.
“Aren’t they the dojo that dislocated Robby’s shoulder?” Louie asked.
“Technically that was just Hawk,” Robby defended.
“Still doesn’t excuse their shitty teaching methods,” Sam said quietly.
Your hand balled into a fist. Her snarky comments were starting to fuel your anger. Robby placed his hand over yours, gently rubbing his thumb over your knuckles - an action that he knew calmed you, and gave you a reassuring smile.
“Y/N, are you new to town? I can’t recall seeing you anywhere,” Amanda questioned, seemingly ignoring her daughters comments.
“Yeah, I only moved here 6 months ago. My mom got a new job,” you explained.
“Oh, what does you mom do?"
“She’s a real estate agent,” you replied.
“Oh, that’s cool,”
**********
Conversation slowly picked up from there, although that didn’t stop Sam from making remarks. It was like she was trying to get people to think you were a bad person, saying stuff like ‘Dad, I’m glad that you taught me and Robby the right way of karate’.
It was honestly taking a toll on you, you had to work hard to make a good impression, and not act out and make a scene.
“Mom, did I tell you that Moon has a girlfriend now?” Sam asked her mother.
“Oh, that’s lovely,” 
“Yeah, it’s this Piper. She’s nice,” she explained.
“Moon is the girl that was dating that Hawk guy?” Louie butted in.
“Yeah,”
“Was she just gay all along then?”
“No, she’s just bisexual,” Sam said, furrowing her eyebrows at Louie’s question.
“Sam, come on. Bisexuality isn’t real,” you fists balled as Louie continued, “People are either gay or straight, you can’t like both, that’s just... unnatural,”
“Fuck this!” You yelled. You rose from your seat, and stormed out of the back yard.
“Louie, what the fuck?” Sam, and Amanda said in unison. Robby sat there glaring at Louie for a few seconds, before standing up to go after you. Daniel put a hand on his shoulder, and muttered an “I’ll go,” and went after you. Meanwhile, Amanda was kicking Louie out of the house, using language she would never use in front of her kids in any other sort of situation.
Daniel ran after you. “Y/N! Wait,” 
“What do you want?” you said, wiping tears that had escaped. 
“Look, I’m sorry for what Louie said. If it’s any consolation, Amanda is shouting at him, and kicking him out,” he stated.
“You can’t control what he said. It’s not your fault,” 
“I know, but I’m still sorry, and I’m also sorry for what Sam has been saying. I know you two have your rivalry...thing, but it shouldn’t have come up,”
“Yeah, thanks,” you nodded.
“You did well for handling it as well as you did, had that of been me, I would’ve thrown hands,” he said, impressed.
“Oh, trust me I wanted to. It just doesn’t give off a good impression if you beat the shit out of the people your boyfriend’s living with,” you chuckled.
“Yeah, well I guess not,” he smiled.
“Why are you being so nice to me?” you asked, genuinely confused.
“What do you mean?”
“Well like, I’m a part of Cobra Kai. I’ve been in fights with your daughter, I’m not what people call the best ‘influence’ on people. Need I say more?” you said
“I see your point, but Robby trusts you. I’ve seen him improve since you two have been together, he seems happier, and if he trusts you, then I do too,” he explained.
“Thank you Mr Larusso,” you said, smiling at him.
“No problem kid,” he smiled back, “Now, if you want to stay for dessert, we have ice cream,” he offered.
“I think I’d just rather go home, if that’s okay,” you said.
“That’s totally fine, alright? I’ll go get Robby to take you home?” 
“Yes please,” you said, “Thank you,”
“Your welcome. I’ll see you soon,”
“Bye”
Robby came out a minute after Daniel had left, and immediately hugged you, “Are you okay?” he mumbled.
“I will be. I just want to go home,” you replied. 
“Okay, lets go, yeah?” he asked. You replied by nodding your head, yes.
**********
You and Robby had arrived at your house, and he walked you up to the front door. “Can you stay with me?” you asked.
“Yeah of course,”
You both made your way up the stairs and into your room. You grabbed some comfy clothes, and changed in the bathroom, before coming back to Robby.
“Are you feeling any better?” he asked.
“A little. Can we cuddle?” 
He just laid down in your bed, and opened his arms for you to lay in. You positioned yourself in his arms so your head was on his chest, listening to the steady sound of his heart beating.
Robby kissed the top of your head. You shifted your head to look up at him. He kissed your lips.
You knew that this boy would be the death of you.
@blackoutgirx
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kpop-dungeon-dark · 3 years
Text
Heat. (Bestfriend!Sanha x You)
•TRIGGER WARNING•
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Warning(s): Non-Con. Both of you are legal in this. Read at your own risk.
Sanha couldn't help it. She was just so pretty. Too pretty. To him. The way her eyebrows furrowed as the girl tried to concentrate on the chemistry equation she was solving under his guidance, chewing on the butt of the pencil and sighing when she couldn't get it right, the adorable little whine releasing from her mouth. His eyes slowly flickered down to her soft looking lips.
He wanted to kiss them. So fucking much. For so many years now.
The lovestruck boy didn't even realise when the lines between fantasy and reality eventually blurred, him leaning in and kissing her soft yet tight, his lips sticking to hers, refusing to go almost. Sanha was so carried away by the heavenly feeling that the loud gasp that escaped Y/n against his lips drowned in the pounding of his heart was that was ringing in his ears.
"... Sanha… Sanha!" It took him a few moments to snap out of it, Y/n pushing at his chest as her body backed away from his much bigger and broader one. "Sanha!" He opened his eyes to see her frowning at him with a disapproving expression. "I- I told you…" Sighing heavily, she uneasily put her books to the side and stood up. "I told you that day when you- you- I don't feel the same way about you."
The boy's jaw clenched as he looked up at her, backing away from where he was leaned in as he softly grasped the bedsheet of his bed. "Why not? And… how are you so sure, even, huh?" She was unable to notice the pretty vivid change in his tone and posture today. The girl didn't know better. "We have been inseparable ever since we can remember, we know each other so well and we get along so well!" Standing up in irritation, he towered over her, eyebrows furrowed and shoulders slowly rising and falling due to the change in his breathing pattern.
"Sanha- Sanha-! I know! I know!" Y/n nodded and agreed, trying to speak over him as he continued to ramble on, trying to convince her in whatever way. "I know! And I am sorry! But you're just- not my type, Sanha! I am sorry!" His heart fluttered in an unpleasant way and stomach twisted at how her eyebrows furrowed in worry.
"Oh, really?" Sanha stopped trying to convince her, burying his hands in the pockets of his pants instead and leaning down at her. "So you have grown up well enough to know your type, huh?" The blush that spread across her face followed by his words made his jaw clench. "My little Y/n is all grown up and wise now, hm? No longer requires my guidance or help deciding what she needs?"
The girl sighed at his taunting tone, oblivious to what was about to come. "We have an amazing friendship, Dana. Don't mess it up, please…" Looking down to avert her gaze from his because for some reason she just couldn't look in his eyes, the girl bit her lip. "You of all people know that I like the guy who lives in the house next to mine."
"Dongmin. Lee fucking Dongmin, huh?" Hatred laced the boy's words as his mind started to imagine the mentioned boy's pretty and kind face all broken and bruised; beaten to a pulp.
By of course no one other than Sanha.
"Don't be like that!" Giggling a little, she pushed at his shoulder playfully and sat back down, pretending to be busy with the books. "Come, help me go over these notes and stop sulking! Besides, yeah. I am old enough to know what I want now, Dana! I can't always rely on you and wait for you to guide me how to do simple daily life things, right?"
"Wrong." It happened so fast Y/n's brain couldn't even decipher it. Sanha pushed the books away and off the bed with such force they went flying away, one of his hands grabbing the girl's throat as he climbed the bed, dragging her shocked body to the middle using the grasp he had on her. "I am and will always be the one to tell you what to do because you're way too pathetic and dumb to know that on your own." A deep chuckle left him as her eyes widened and legs started kicking when the shock subsided, replacing it with panic.
"S- S- SAN- SANH-"
"Aww, not so big now, are we? Tsk tsk." Tears welled up in her eyes when she looked up at him to find a foreign expression on his face. A smirk of betrayal with dark and cold eyes looking her up and down. "Fuck… I've always wondered how these pretty looking privates of you would feel in my hands, babygirl" Sanha didn't have to use much strength keeping her in place as he climbed over the girl's smaller body, instantly groping and feeling her wherever he could, not getting much bothered by the hits and scratches her small hands were giving him.
There was so much Y/n's little hands could do against the giant.
"P- Please… please… no… please stop… You don't have to do this" the girl heaved in exhaustion as she begged Sanha, trembling and crying as she could feel his hands under her hoodie and down her shorts, squeezing and pinching wherever they pleased.
"You're right, I didn't." Pulling the string from her hoodie, the boy dragged them closer to the headboard sickly calm, ears red and erection so hard it poked the girl's thigh even through his boxers and pants. "This is YOUR fault, you hear me? YOU did this to YOURSELF" his voice was soft but rough as he punched the words in her brain, tying her hands to the headboard using the string while knowing it would be enough to easily hold her down.
"Had you cooperated and just obeyed me like little girls such as yourself fucking should instead of trying to do any thinking on your own" shaking his head, Sanha moved back down to her body, pushing the hoodie up until it bunched around her neck, big and warm rough hands tugging off her shorts roughly. "A chance… That was all I asked for."
A sob escaped the girl as the male spread her soft thighs apart, smiling as he admired her pussy lips, probing and spreading them. "Such a pretty cunt." He found himself loving the whimpers and cries escaping her, grazing his thumb up and down her folds, it's tip feeling her tiny and unused entrance, making the girl jump by spitting on it before starting to work it in.
"S- San-"
"Shhhhh~" messily stuffing her shorts that were a bit too short for his liking, the male gave a sensual lick to her soft and red pussy lips, kissing them right after and chuckling at how her thighs trembled from the feeling. "Fuck, Y/n. You've no idea how much I've wanted to tie you up like this and eat you silly before fucking you dumb as you whine and cry in pleasure, begging me for more."
Y/n tried to break free, her wrists starting to burn against the string due to how fragile her skin was. "Mmm… I promise, babygirl. By the time I am done with you, you'll be wrapped around my little finger on your knees for me." Stroking the outside of her thighs, the male shakily breathed out, crotch grinding against the mattress that they had spent their childhood playing with their toys on.
"Hnnnggg… you like it, don't you? Fuck-" Sanha looked up, his face drenched in her natural juices and his own spit, heavily breathing as he searched her face for an expression, eyes dark. "You taste so much better and sweeter than I imagined, babygirl." He went back to admiring it, playing and teasing it with his index finger, other hand continuously caressing her thigh.
It was surreal. After all these years of imagining this over and over in different scenarios and circumstances, it was finally happening. And this. This was better than all that he had fantasized.
So sweet. So soft. So… real.
Sanha could feel his head start to pound from the need and intoxication his own hormones were putting him under, now teasing her asshole with the hand that had previously been on her thigh, just wanting to feel it, feel her. All of her.
That was his. Finally.
"So tight… fuck!" Rubbing her clit with his thumb and circling her navel with his middle finger as his hand was big enough to do so, Sanha fucked her pussy hole open with the hot tip of his tongue, trying to force it in and deeper, circling the rim of muscles with it. "Now tell me, tell Daddy, it feels fucking amazing, doesn't it? Daddy is making you feel soooo good, isn't be?" Pushing one of his middle fingers up her entrance instead, the boy moved up now, removing the shorts from Y/n's mouth causing her to gasp aloud for air.
"S- Sanh- Sanha-" a sharp smack across her cheek locked her throat up again, forcing a cry out of her throat instead.
"It's Daddy" grasping her soft locks, he pulled her hair back to make the girl look at her better and glared down at her. "You must speak to your owner and caregiver with respect, little one." Pressing a wet kiss to her lips, the boy hungrily ran his tongue around them, moaning and sucking at them. "So, tell Daddy now. Tell him how good he's making you feel…" Y/n winced and cried harder, clenching around his rather thick finger on defense.
"P- Please… please… I am s- sorry! Stop! Please! Please, just stop!" His eyebrows furrowed as he pushed another finger in, stretching and stimulating her from the inside, thumb grazing against her clit.
"Are you telling me you don't feel good? This doesn't feel good? Daddy isn't making you feel good?" His voice was alarmingly soft and… deadly. But the innocent girl was too foolish to know that, of course.
"N- No… No… I- I don't! Stop, please! It hurts!" She honestly pouted, tears rolling down her cheeks as she tried to struggle weakly, actually expecting him to stop.
"You leave me no choice, then." Pulling his fingers out of her, Sanha didn't pay any attention to the shaky naive little sigh of relief that left her, unbuttoning and unzipping his pants before pulling his cock out and smirking. "If being nice isn't gonna get me anywhere," gripping her throat, he shakily moaned and pumped his cock, pressing the head to her opening. "Then I won't." Giving a powerful thrust in Y/n's pussy which tore due to his girth, the boy crazily grinned.
"I'll simply get my pleasure and lock you up until I need you again. Just how you're meant to be. A pretty doll, all for me."
.
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ncssian · 3 years
Text
A Favor: Part Sixteen
Nessian Modern AU
Masterlist
a/n:
***
“HAPPY NEW YEAR!”
In Cassian’s arms, Nesta is shocked for all of a second before melting into his heat, kissing him back with just as much tenderness and joy as he gives her.
Fireworks go off, illuminating the scene around them, but he doesn’t hear or see any of it. Confetti poppers are popped, sending glitter and paper flying everywhere, and still he kisses Nesta.
It’s not until the fireworks show hits its crashing climax that Nesta flinches, breaking away from his lips.
She hates loud noises, Cassian remembers. He stupidly considers covering her ears against the noise for her, but then her shoulders relax, and she comes in again for a deeper kiss. His hands tangle in her bronze hair, and when they next break apart, he remembers the words he’s been holding in for so long. “I love you,” he says against her mouth, imprinting the shape of the words onto her lips. Her answering grin is bright enough to match the moon.
For a single moment, they are a perfect couple. No secrets, no baggage, no outsiders to judge them. And then the fireworks die out and the confetti falls to the floor, and the lights seem to turn bright enough to burn the eyes. The party returns to normal, and so do they.
Nesta is clutching Cassian’s wrist, looking like she has something she needs to say, but then her gaze drifts past his shoulder. To where her sisters and his friends are. She looks up at Cassian nervously. “Can you—”
“Deal with that?” he finishes for her, referring to the friends who had surely seen everything. “Yes.” It’s his responsibility to bear in the first place. Nesta doesn’t owe anybody except her sisters an answer.
Nesta looks torn between feeling guilty and grateful. “I should be there with you.”
Cassian can’t help but be awed. Nesta, who can’t have dinner without knowing what’s on the menu at least two hours ahead, has no idea what to expect from his friends. And still she’s offering to face them with him.
He takes her hand and runs a soothing thumb down her racing pulse, then her sweaty palm. “Go back inside,” he tells her, placing a kiss on her fingers. “I’ll find you when I’m done.” He might put a little sensual promise into his words to ease the nerves lacing her body, but he doesn’t know if it helps. She nods and stalks off.
Cassian stays where he is and leans his arms against the wooden balcony railing, staring into the clear night while the rest of the guests slowly trail back into the warmth of the cabin. He and Nesta will have to clean up this whole mess of confetti and streamers tomorrow, and they’ll have to do something about the new wine stain he spotted earlier on the couch—
Feyre storms up to him first. “How long?” she demands.
He looks sidelong at her. “How long, what?”
“How long have you had feelings for my sister?” Her cheeks are flushed red, either from the cold or rage Cassian can’t tell. This isn’t the question he expected from her.
“Since the day you told me to pick her up from the middle of the woods,” he answers honestly.
Feyre turns impossibly redder. “And how long have you been together?”
“Since Thanksgiving.”
Feyre looks seconds away from attacking him. “I trusted you—”
“Darling.” Rhys has come up behind her, Mor and Elain trailing him. Azriel watches coolly from the door, likely only there to see the drama unfold.
Rhys puts a hand on Feyre’s back, and she ignores it. “I trusted you to take care of her, to live with her, because I knew you would never take advantage of her like that. Because I believed you wouldn’t do exactly what you’ve just done,” she seethes at him.
Cassian stares in disbelief. “What the hell are you talking about right now?”
“I’m talking about how you’ve had a hard-on for Nesta this whole time, in close quarters with her, and never thought it was worth mentioning to me.”
“I share one kiss with my girlfriend and that’s what you jump to? That I preyed on your adult sister? You really have no other questions for me?” His voice raises with every sentence, and a few guests lingering on the ground below glance up toward the balcony.
“What else am I supposed to believe?” She’s nearly shouting at him. “You didn’t tell me anything. You lied to me, knowing that Nesta is—Nesta.”
“For good fucking reason, I’m starting to see.”
“Cassian,” Rhysand says warningly.
Cassian didn’t hear him. “What is your real problem with Nesta, Feyre? Where is the problem in me loving her and her loving me? Do you think she’s incapable of making decisions for herself, or is this another thing where you’re jealous she has a life outside of you?”
“That is not what this is about.”
“Then what is it about?” he demands.
“You know!” She stabs a finger at his chest, chin quivering. “You know how she is, how she feels and sees things differently than most people, and how her history with men isn’t great. And you still thought it was okay to drag her into a relationship. Why else wouldn’t you tell anyone about it, if you didn’t feel it was wrong?”
Cassian’s face turns colder than the frozen air around them. “I don’t know who you’re talking about right now, but it isn’t your sister,” he says. “It’s not my fault if you don’t know her the way you thought you did. Take that up with her, not me.”
Feyre’s breath steams in the air before her. “I will,” she fumes. She spins on her heel to leave, but Cassian catches her by the wrist.
“After you cool down,” he demands. “You’re not ruining her night.”
Feyre stares him down for a long moment, and eventually shakes his hand off her wrist. She walks back inside, waving Rhys away when he tries to follow. Elain, who Cassian forgot was there, stares at him before going inside as well.
Rhysand turns back to Cassian with ice in his violet eyes.
“Don’t start,” Cassian says, tired. “She doesn’t need you fighting her battles for her.”
“That’s not what I was going to talk about,” he says. “You lied to us.”
Mor bundles deeper into her white coat. “You really love her?” she says quietly.
Azriel steps into their little circle beside Cassian without saying a word. Supporting Cassian in silence.
“I liked having something I didn’t have to share with everyone,” Cassian says, the admission feeling heavy on his tongue. “And I don’t regret it. It was nice while it lasted.”
“I think I’m losing my mind,” Mor mutters.
“So,” Rhys gestures at the spot where Cassian and Nesta kissed, “that’s it? You’re dating Feyre’s sister now, with nothing else to say?”
“This isn’t a damn group decision,” Cassian grits.
“That’s not what we meant,” says Mor. “But you’ve been hiding an entire girlfriend up here for months. We have questions.”
“Then I’ll hold a Q&A session later,” he says sardonically. “But since we’re on the topic of Nesta, I do have something to say.”
Mor and Rhys look taken aback.
Cassian straightens up. “You don’t have to like her. You definitely don’t have to be friends with her. But I expect all of you to respect her, even Amren. If it’s not something you would say out loud about Feyre or Elain, then it won’t be something you say about Nesta. You will be on your best behavior around her, and you will not upset or scare her away. Is that clear?”
Az snorts. “Yes, General.”
Cassian cuts a sharp look in his direction. “That applies to you, too. Don’t toy around with her.”
Az grows solemn and nods.
“Is that it?” Mor raises a brow.
“You might find it harder than you think.”
She scoffs. “Well, if I had known I was bitching about your girlfriend this entire time…”
“You wouldn’t have changed,” Azriel interjects. “You’d be even worse.”
She rolls her eyes. “Fine, whatever. I can play nice.”
Cassian looks to Rhys.
“I haven’t spoken a word to her in years,” Rhys grumbles.
“You will respect her, even when she’s not in the room.” He doubts Nesta will be happy to have shit talked about her when she isn’t in a sex-driven haze.
Rhys looks away. “I can’t believe you even have to ask me such a thing,” he mutters. “She’s with you now, of course I’ll lay off her.”
“And you’ll stay out of the sisters’ issues,” Cassian adds.
Rhys smiles wryly. “When did we switch jobs? You want to be boss now or something?”
“If we’re done here, can we go the fuck inside?” Mor groans. “I’m freezing. And I’m holding you to that Q&A session.” She points a finger at Cassian.
He allows himself to grin, feeling truly light for the first time in months. It isn’t a band-aid solution to everything, but it’s better than lying to his family for the rest of his life. Mor and Az head back inside, and Cassian and Rhys trail them. It’s not until Cassian reaches the door that he remembers—
“What was it you wanted to tell me earlier?” He turns to Rhys.
Rhys looks startled, then uncomfortable. “I don’t think it’s the right time for it anymore. You might not want to hear it at all.”
Well, now Cassian’s curious. “Just tell me. I want to know.”
Rhys holds in a sigh. “Fine. Let’s talk inside.”
***
It’s almost two in the morning when the last guest goes home, and Feyre has no excuse left to idle around.
She finds Nesta in the kitchen doing dishes, her back turned to Feyre. Her heels have been discarded, her hair is tied up out of her face, and her sequined dress sleeves are pushed up her arms so they don’t get wet. She looks so… at home. Like this kitchen and the rest of the cabin is undeniably hers.
It reminds Feyre that it wasn’t Cassian kissing Nesta that felt like a punch to the throat. It was when Feyre saw Nesta break away, smile brightly, and kiss him back.
Feyre carefully approaches the island and clears her throat. Nesta doesn’t hear her over the sound of running water. Feyre tries again harder, but swallows the wrong way and ends up in a coughing fit.
That gets Nesta’s attention. She spins around to find Feyre hacking like an idiot, and shuts the tap off. “What’s wrong with you?” she says.
Feyre coughs one final time, her throat scratchy now. “Water. I need water.”
Nesta’s eyes nearly roll out of her head, but she grabs a clean glass and fills it up, handing it to Feyre.
Feyre chugs half the glass and sets it down with an exhale. “I was trying to say,” she starts after an awkward moment, “that you look very settled here.”
“I am,” Nesta says without pause.
“And you’ve probably heard about my—argument with Cassian by now.” Cassian, who is no longer just Feyre’s friend, but Nesta’s boyfriend. Someone Nesta loves, if Feyre heard correctly in her fury.
“Unfortunately, wooden walls carry sound pretty far.” That’s all Nesta bothers to say before turning the sink on again, resuming her dishwashing.
Feyre used to think Nesta’s lack of words meant she had nothing to say. Now she suspects there’s a storm of words raging in Nesta’s head. Too many words to even try to string together coherently, so she stays silent instead.
“I wanted to ask for your side of the story,” Feyre says. “I didn’t even think to consider your feelings before I went off at Cassian, and I might have made—some assumptions.”
“You implied that I was too weak-minded to make decisions for myself and that Cassian took advantage of my weaknesses to get me into his bed.” Nesta’s tone is flat, her eyes on the plate she’s scrubbing.
Feyre winces when she hears it out loud. “Yes, I did that.”
“Why should I tell you anything?” Nesta says. “You clearly have no problem believing what you already believe.”
“I can’t know how you feel about things if you never tell me, Nesta,” Feyre tries to defend. “I’ve been going off my assumptions for years because you don’t share anything about yourself. If I had misconceptions about you, you never corrected them.”
“And that’s an excuse to not ask me about my feelings? To not come to me when you have concerns about my life?”
“I’m coming to you now,” Feyre says. “That’s the whole point.”
When Nesta doesn’t respond, Feyre adds, “I know that we don’t know how to communicate without offending each other. So for five minutes can we just put the defensiveness aside and talk about this?”
“I don’t know what there is to talk about.” Nesta rinses the last glass and shuts the water off, going to dry her hands on a towel.
“I’ll start then: Why didn’t you tell me about you and Cassian?”
Nesta stares at the countertop. “If I answer that question honestly, you’ll call me cruel.”
Feyre hides her flinch, and decides she doesn’t need to hear the answer. Deep down, she probably already knows it. “Alright. When did you start liking him as more than a friend?”
“October. Do you want cake?” Nesta turns toward the fridge in search of dessert.
“I’m good,” Feyre says. “How did you—fall for him?” She’s had all night to think about these questions, but it still sounds impossible saying it out loud. Like two worlds colliding in the weirdest way.
“It just doesn’t make sense,” Feyre repeated for the third time that night, sequestered with Elain touching up her makeup in one of the bathrooms. “Does it make sense to you?”
“I can see it,” Elain said flatly. “Nesta’s emotional, and Cassian’s emotionally intelligent. If anyone could put in the work to understand her, it’s him.”
Elain didn’t show a hint of feeling since she watched Cassian sweep Nesta into his arms and kiss her like a hero from a romance novel. When Feyre later asked Elain if she wanted to talk to Nesta with her, she curtly refused and proceeded to leave the party early.
Now, Nesta busies herself by digging through the fridge. “He’s kind. He’s unfaltering. He’s easy to talk to. It doesn’t hurt that he’s hot.”
“Is that it?”
Nesta shuts the fridge, cake in hand. “Why don’t you ask what you really want to ask, Feyre?” She yanks a drawer open with a little too much force and grabs a fork.
This, Feyre hasn’t practiced for. But she needs to find a way to voice it. “I never knew… after Tomas, I didn’t think you would trust a man again. I didn’t trust a man with you again.”
Nesta whips her head to glare at Feyre, and Feyre shrinks away from her near-feral stare. She spoke too much. She fucked it up already.
“What do you know about Tomas?” Nesta says lowly.
“It doesn’t take a genius to know that Tomas was shit. I never liked him. I was so happy when you left him.”
“And what?” Nesta drops the cake onto the island with a thump. “You thought he broke me? You thought I’d never find love again?”
Feyre looks down, playing with her nails. “I’m just trying to make sure you’re safe, Nesta,” she says quietly.
“And I’m trying to tell you I don’t need your protection. I never did. You do not get to assume what I’m fit for and what I’m not. You do not get to pretend to know me when you’ve never made an effort to understand me.”
“Made an effort?” Feyre can’t believe Nesta’s words. “All I’ve ever done my whole life is make an effort—to talk to you, to be close with you.”
“No,” she says firmly. “You only ever tried to make me do things your way. You wanted me to be more like you. I always came over to your place, I always participated in your parties, I always did the things you wanted to do even when I hated it, because that was me making an effort for you.”
The words take a long time to sink in. Feyre finally swallows. “Do you always have to be so cruel?”
“I’m not being cruel. This is just me. The person you see is the person Cassian fell in love with, and he likes me just fine. You’re the one who’s never liked me.” Nesta’s chest is heaving. “Yes, I am well aware of my flaws, and yes, I’m putting in the work to get past them. That’s what therapy is for. But until you look at your own issues instead of being personally offended by mine all the time, I can’t speak to you without wanting to scream.” She’s trembling as if she’s holding in a shriek right now. “I can’t keep bearing the weight of it—of our past, of everything you want that I can’t give. You won’t let me move away from it.”
Her words ring in the silence.
Feyre’s face is cold, and she touches it to find tears on her cheeks. “I didn’t know…” She blinks, looking away. She suddenly wants to be anywhere else but here, where all she’s good for is torturing her sister. But Feyre is twenty-one years old and she’s getting too old to keep this hateful thing between her and Nesta alive. She reaches for the cake and takes off the lid. “Get me another fork,” she sniffs through tears.
Nesta stares at her for a long moment, then does what she asked. Feyre wipes her eyes.
They sit across from each other at the island and dig in without bothering to get plates. Feyre takes a bite and makes a face at the sour taste, nearly spitting it out. “What is this, lemon?”
“Yes,” Nesta says, stabbing her fork into the cake. “Lemon is for guests.”
“Implying you have different types of cake lying around?” She points to the fridge.
“Chocolate is for Cassian. You can’t have it.”
“Oh. Okay then.” Shared cake, Feyre thinks. How long until they sign up for coinsurance?
They eat in silence for a few minutes, but Feyre’s mind whirls the entire time. She has to speak first, but she doesn’t know where to start.
The beginning might be good.
“I…” she speaks hesitantly, “didn’t mean to make you feel responsible for the past. That wasn’t anybody’s fault.”
Nesta doesn’t look comforted by her words. “You think Dad wouldn’t have let us all die in our pile of bills if you hadn’t stepped up?”
True. Feyre used to drown in bitterness over it: working forty hours a week and then some just to keep the family alive, and receiving nothing in return. While Nesta escaped to the woods to read all day and Elain flirted with boys in mall parking lots, Feyre carried the brunt of reality on her shoulders. It wasn’t until their father died and she got out of that town that she realized—if it was anybody’s fault, it was his.
“I think we all did our best to survive,” Feyre says. “Especially you. But if it’s moving away from me and Elain that you want, I can’t give it to you.”
Nesta looks unsurprised. Before she can argue, Feyre states firmly, “I can do things your way. I can come to you. We can learn to meet each other halfway.”
“Then you’ll be disappointed when, even after all that work, I still find you annoying as fuck.”
Feyre actually laughs. The sentiment still stings, but… “We’ll just have to see how it goes.” But what if Nesta never does like her? The thought nags. What will she do then?
Nesta narrows her eyes at Feyre. “And what about Elain?”
Her absence in the kitchen suddenly feels pointed. Feyre twirls her fork. “We’re not as close as you think, you know. I don’t always know what she’s feeling. You might have to figure her out on your own.”
Nesta looks like she would rather die.
A knock sounds at one of the kitchen entryways. Feyre turns to see Cassian leaning against the wall, looking warily between the two sisters. “I hate to interrupt,” he says, “but can I see Nesta now?”
It still startles Feyre: he’s here for Nesta, not her. That’ll definitely take some time to get used to.
“For sure,” Feyre says, getting up from her seat. She looks back at Nesta, wondering about how much more they need to say to each other…
From the look on Nesta’s face, they’ve done enough for tonight. “I’ll be calling, then,” Feyre says.
“Can’t promise I’ll answer,” Nesta replies.
Of course. Feyre turns on her heel to leave, but stops before Cassian for a brief moment. “I’m so sorry.” The words flow a lot more easier with him than they would with Nesta. “I said some terrible things outside—please forgive me.” She’s genuinely terrified at the idea of losing Cassian over her battle with her sister.
Cassian smiles down at her, not his usual grin but something gentler, more understanding. “There’s nothing to worry about.” His eyes dart to Nesta for confirmation of this, and he must like whatever he sees, because he looks back at Feyre and ruffles her hair. “Glad you’re feeling better, kid.”
***
Once Feyre leaves and Cassian can hear her and Rhys getting ready for the limo drive back home, he finally allows himself to approach Nesta at the island. Rounding the counter to where she sits, he wraps her into a hug.
For once, Nesta doesn’t question his unsolicited affection. She leans in and wraps her own arms around his torso, resting her head against his stomach. “Where were you this whole time?” Her voice is muffled in his shirt.
“Nowhere,” he plays off easily. “Just talking to Rhys about work stuff.”
The conversation lasted much longer than Cassian would have preferred, but by the end of it Cassian’s stance was firm.
“It’s a year-long project based in Milan. It would technically be a promotion for you, and you would work on-site the whole time. I thought it would be a good opportunity for you to get out of the cabin,” Rhys said.
“By sending me out of the country?” Cassian scoffed.
“With the way you’ve been avoiding us lately—I know now that it was about Nesta, but when I heard about the position, you were the first person to come to mind. Taking time to yourself, traveling on your own, making a mark without having your entire family attached to your hip… It sounded like something you needed, so I recommended you for the job.”
Rhys was scarily accurate, because those were all things that Cassian wanted. He and Nesta made lists about places they wanted to visit all the time. But doing it like this?
“No,” he said firmly. “I’m not going to Italy.”
Rhys looked away. “That’s what I thought you’d say. You’re still in the honeymoon phase with Nesta.”
“Even if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t go. A year away from home? What are you thinking?”
Rhys raised his hands in defense. “Look, you don’t have to go. I can give the position away to someone else. But you’re the most qualified and deserving person on the team and we both know it.”
Even now, Cassian knows it. Unfortunately for Rhys, that won’t get his answer to change.
He smiles down to where Nesta hides in his arms, visibly exhausted after the night she’s had. “How did your talk with Feyre go?” he has to ask.
“I thought I was being pretty generous. I didn’t even call her a hypocrite for half the things I wanted to.”
“Does that mean it went well?”
Nesta sighs against his chest. “I think we reached some sort of understanding. Though I’m not sure if that makes me a bad person, for giving her hope of a better relationship between us.”
“I think it makes you a strong person,” Cassian says honestly.
“And what if I can’t deliver?”
“You can’t find out until you try.”
Nesta looks up to meet his eyes, and for a short second he’s overwhelmed by need. “Say it again,” he breathes.
Her brows furrow. “Say what?”
“What you said in the truck. I need to hear it again.”
“Oh, that.” She looks embarrassed. “Iloveyou,” she mutters quickly.
He pokes her. “Say it like you mean it, not like you’re announcing you have syphilis.”
She glares, but clears her throat and gets serious. “Cassian. I love you. I’m in love with you.”
His heartbeat stutters at the earnestness on her face. “Since when?” His lips spread into a grin.
Her face drops. “Yeah, this is really putting a damper on my feelings right now.” Nesta starts to squirm out of his arms.
“No, wait—” He tries to stop her.
“I’ll help you clean in the morning, okay?” She yawns, heading for the exit. “Good night, babe.”
“I was kidding—” He starts to follow after her, shouting, “Where are you going?”
***
Nesta wakes late the next morning with a solid warmth pressed against her back. For a second, it disorients her. She never wakes up before Cassian.
But she turns around and there he is, dead asleep while the sun is already high in the sky.
She reaches up on instinct to brush his silken hair out of his face. He’ll be pissed he missed his six a.m. workout, New Year’s Day be damned.
Putting on her glasses from the nightstand, Nesta carefully eases out of bed and crosses the room to pull the curtains shut over the wall of windows. When she’s satisfied that the room is dark enough, she tiptoes out of it.
The downstairs is still a mess from last night. Nesta wrinkles her nose at the sight of it. Discarded champagne glasses scatter the living and dining areas, and whoever snuck in those damn confetti poppers left a mess on the hardwood floors. Platters of long since finished food lie on random surfaces.
“Even the rich and sophisticated party like pigs,” she mutters to herself, stepping over a discarded throw pillow to reach the kitchen. She needs coffee and a hose to scrub this place down—
“Good morning.”
Nesta yelps, spinning toward the figure near the sink she didn’t see while coming in. “Fucking Christ!”
Azriel doesn’t blink, holding an apple in one hand and a paring knife in the other. “We’re out of coffee.” He looks like he just rolled out of bed, sweatpants and all.
“What are you doing here?” Nesta demands. “Where did you come from?”
“Ah, about that,” he says casually. “I never left.”
“You slept here?”
“Do you have breakfast? Because there isn’t even a box of cereal in this place.”
“Azriel,” Nesta forces his name out. “Start answering my questions.”
He has the decency to look sorry and blushes. “I needed some time away from Velaris. I figured the cabin would be empty since you moved out and I brought some of my stuff over last night.”
“So when I found you upstairs…?”
“I was staking out a room to stay in.”
Nesta has so many questions she almost forgets to be upset. But it’s hard not to be upset when she’s standing in front of a near-stranger in only Cassian’s shirt. “Does Cassian know about this?”
Azriel carves out an apple slice and shrugs dismissively. “He will soon.”
Her stomach churns with familiar anxiety. “But you can’t—” She wrings the shirt she’s wearing in her hands. “You can’t do this.”
“Why not? It’s my brother’s place.” His eyes dare her to disagree. “In my defense, I didn’t think you’d be living here when I decided to move in.”
“I don’t live here,” she says. In fact, she’s supposed to return to her apartment tomorrow. “But I spend a lot of time here and I didn’t get to prepare for—” she waves her hands in Azriel’s direction, “you.” It’s a wrench thrown in the gears of Nesta’s carefully calculated life.
Azriel raises a dark brow. “Do you need to prepare for me?” He pushes an apple slice into his mouth.
“Yes!” This is a change she had no say in, and those are the worst kind of changes.
Azriel puts the apple and knife down and leans against the counter. “Prepare for me, then.”
“What?”
“Before Cassian gets up, take the time to get used to the fact that I’m going to be around for the next few weeks.”
“Weeks?” Nesta pales.
“A month, tops,” he promises. When Nesta doesn’t look reassured, he says quietly, “Go on. Do what you need to do to get comfortable.”
“But I barely know you,” she says. Well, Nesta knows Azriel is the pretty brother and the quiet brother, but now she’s starting to think he’s also the weird brother.
That’s three things they have in common, at least.
“Uh...what do you want to know?” He tries to sound nice, inviting. Nesta uses that awkward tone all the time.
It actually brings her some semblance of comfort. She sits down carefully on a barstool and asks, “Why are you really here?”
“I’m avoiding someone,” he answers without hesitation.
“Who?”
“Nobody of interest to you.” They’re doing rapid fire mode, then.
“Do you know how to cook?” she says.
“No. Do you?”
“No.” A loss on both parts. “What are you good at?”
“Minding my business.”
Nesta narrows her eyes at him. “Like you were minding your business outside Cassian’s room last night?”
He makes the slightest wince. “That was an unfortunate incident where I toyed with you. It won’t happen again.”
She doesn’t know why, but she believes him.
“What won’t happen again?”
Nesta turns to find Cassian trudging into the kitchen, looking only half-awake. He notices Azriel. “Oh, hey bro.”
Azriel nods. “Hey.”
Cassian is about to drop a kiss onto Nesta’s head when he freezes. “Wait.” The look on his face makes Nesta forget her earlier discomfort; she laughs out loud.
Peering all the way up at him from her seat, she says, “Your brother is moving in. I am reacting to this like a well-adjusted human being.”
He raises his brows. “Are you now?”
“I didn’t freak out one bit,” she says, trying to spare Azriel from her boyfriend’s overprotective wrath. Cassian doesn’t buy it.
He looks at Azriel and tilts his head toward the living room. “You wanna talk?” He leaves before the other man can answer.
Nesta shrugs apologetically at Azriel’s stunned face. “I did my best. He’s going to give you a lecture on boundaries now.”
“No, he’s not,” Azriel grumbles as he starts following after Cassian. “He’s going to beat my ass.”
***
a/n: when in doubt, write a flashback scene in italics
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romanogers-lyrics · 3 years
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TFAWS Ep 5: finally some good fucking ✨vindication✨
Scratch that rewind what I said- this is the best episode (maybe in comic book tv history). Closure, growth, and redemption 🙌 just when I was worried they wouldn’t be able to tie things up they fucking give me this 😩🤩👏✊🏽
Holy hell my poor heart died and ascended to the moon to hang out with Steve and Natasha. ✨Goddamn the mastery of storytelling in this episode is why I love the MCU so much ✨
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The opening fight between Walker, Bucky, and Sam had me on the edge of my seat. Like in most fights you know the stakes are low because the main heroes always win but this fight... whew it was consequential and more personal than the civil war fight imo. I genuinely was worried about the outcome for Sam and Bucky physically and emotionally. Every beat was character driven! This was cathartic. 🙌 the stunt coordinators knocked it out of the park lovelovelove 💕.
“I am captain America” homie you giving me Gollum vibes. “It’s (the shield) MINE!” Like-
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So many creative stunts with the wings!!!
Bucky and Sam working TOGETHER
BUCKY DROPPING THE SHIELD AT SAM’S FEET 😭
The golden light seeping into the frame at the end of the fight 🤌🏼
Sam wiping the blood off the shield. 🥲 I can’t even articulate but it makes me feel-
Sammy’s wings got snapped off and he eventually left them with Torres (passing the mantle?) which symbolizes Sam growing out of his old super hero role. It was cleansing. He’s ready to be more. He’s ready to take action rather than let things happen to him 👏
Baby boy Torres trying to talk to Mr Bucky 🥺. You have both sleeves today Mr Bucky sir 💕
I want no I NEED 😫Torres to fly in with the wings next episode.
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How we feeling about Walker?? On the one hand I feel him. Us gov did him dirty but at the same time he made the choices he made. Maybe there is room for redemption? Idk... 🙃 or will he continue to get worse?
I am SO glad that Sam went back to talk to isaiah. He needed to know the full story. He needed closure. I could ramble on and on but the writers made the points so much better than I could but just-
Steve did the exact same thing as Isaiah in the first avenger. He went behind enemy lines to rescue Bucky- without permission! He was a hero for it. And Isaiah was thrown in jail? The double standard is so frustrating
I think Isiah’s point that “no self respecting black man” would use the shield makes sense with his background and story. It makes me sick what was done to him. Things really haven’t changed 😞. At this point I honestly wasn’t sure what Sam was going to do. More later on about this-
Zemo’s theme is so beautiful every time I hear it. 🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼
What a beautiful scene. Cinematography 💯 Such a great moment between Bucky and Zemo. Zemo fully expects to die and then Bucky does the one thing zemo didn’t expect- the one thing he wasn’t “programmed” to do. Fuuuuuckcjfkekxn
“I crossed my name off in your book” 😭. He obviously grew to respect Bucky and wants him to have peace at last with all the civil war stuff.
Ayo back to calling Bucky white wolf 🐺 love to see it.
The kids playing with the shield and tracing the star has me CRYING. Kids are our hope and they still see something special in the shield. They still believe in it. 😭 such a small moment completely floored me.
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Wholesome boat fix up 🥺. I feel like this is the montage where SamBucky fall in love 😂
When Sarah and Sam are talking about the boat- how it is their history- I think again of Isaiah. His history was erased. Sam has to preserve his history ✊🏽
Sarah is a goddamn queen and I Stan 🤌🏼✨
The montage was just a sip of cool water in the desert of trauma that is the MCU.
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OKEEEE the conversation between Sam and Bucky where they’re tossing the shield is great on so many levels 😍:
Physically the shield matches the dynamic of the convo. Someone makes a point and throws it. Someone accepts what that person said and catches the shield. Bucky physically offers the shield when he says “I’m sorry” and Sam accepts the shield AND the apology.
The difference between avenging and amending. I was surprised they even used that word bc it calls out the avengers for maybe not doing the emotional work involved in being a hero. Healing is part of the hero job now. #phase4
A small detail but as a person of color I valued it; when Bucky said I’m sorry Sam did not say “it’s okay” or “no worries” because he didn’t have to, I feel like as a POC I’m always making white people feel better and for once I’d like to be confident enough to just accept someone’s apology outright and know I deserve it.
Pivotal when Sam said “it doesn’t matter what Steve thought” at first I was like biiiihhh??! 😠 but he had a point. Both Sam and Bucky have been trying to do hold onto another person who is gone. They gotta heal but more importantly they have to find their own reasons to keep fighting.
The training montage 🤌🏼🙌🤩🥲🥺😭✊🏽. Like FEED ME YEs WE ARE EATiNG. Sammy deserves it all
Sam’s cap theme music is similar to Steve’s but still different. Goddamn so beautiful 💕💕😩
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Sam has been pretty passive in this show- almost wanting confirmation he did the right thing. Isaiah didn’t give Sam that comfort but neither did Bucky at first. Sam had to make his own choice 😤✊🏽
It’s a heavy burden to be cap knowing all the shit that has come before but Sam is the only one who can make that decision to be or not to be. And he’s seen the alternative now. In life taking action and taking control of our situation is empowering but always harder than doing nothing. He says it best- what’s the point of all that struggle if you’re not going keep on fighting ✊🏽🥺 I love and respect Sam so much 😭 spoken like captain America! 👏
Show me the suit you COWARDS I WANNA SEe
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Goddamnit damnit to hell... I need to SEE IT
Is Sharon setting a trap for Karli???
🚨 end credit: I’m not sure if they are making an iron man comparison. What do you guys think?
Ready for the showdown throwdown next week 👀
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All in all it was fucking wild ya’ll and I felt catharsis watching this and so fucking hopeful. I cry 😭
Please feel free to share any thoughts you have about this episode💕
there’s so much in this show that is world building within mcu but also in greater conversations about heroism and power. It is a moral re evaluation of the superhero. Malcom Spellman being head writer you know this shit is not happenstance it is intentional. The took the long road and it totally paid off in this episode 😭
🙇🏻‍♀️ I am emotionally manipulated by this show 🙇🏻‍♀️
Huge shout out to all the cast and crew for making something both respectful to the lore but also challenging it to be better 🙌
My ep 4 review:
Tag list: @soliloquy-of-nemo
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batarangsoundsdumb · 3 years
Text
yet another ask dump yeehaw!
do you ever think that jay's mother was one of those bitch who believes in horoscope and tarots and things like that and so he believes in these things too, or it is just me projecting?
sheila haywood took one look at jason's birthchart said 'nah this won't do' and left.
Wait, but what happens when the justice league does find out that Bruce and John fucked? Lmao it sounds like it would be hilarious, really, I don’t want a justice league that doesn’t make fun of Bruce for like his entire life.
barry runs out of the meeting immediately and comes back with an entire sti testing kit. diana fully seriously wants bruce to get tested while bruce is sitting there like 'come on guys, you're being ridiculous, i already checked twice'
john is standing in the corner clearly offended while bruce is just like 'don't even say anything, constantine, you fucked a shark'
tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.
on the one hand, good for him, on the other hand, bro, how do you still have a secret identity when your superhero name is just your last name,,,,
Your fic on ao3 was GOLD PLEASE CONTINUE I loved Dinah's cameo btw ( @purple-vixen
thanks so much! i already continued but this ask is like 10 years old because i'm a notorious procrastinator (also yes! i love dinah so much aahhhhhhhhhhhh)
I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.
bruce internally: holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit bruce externally: get out of my city, alien
AHHH ur multimedia fic is the only thing that brings me happiness anymore continue it forever pls
uhh thanks, but can't continue it forever because my attention span is that of a toddler on crack on a good day and i can't function without at least 10 things going on at the same time and music in the background
Oi, so I'm getting into dc and watching batman the animated series, and they use fruitcake a lot. Which I thought was very funny and wanted to share w you - Denilla
wait like fruitcake (food) or fruitcake (derogatory) ?
young justice 🤝 teen titans slut shaming batman
tim drake and dick grayson to their respective teams 'you guys stop it, that's my dad'
Happyhoganon: If an eighty year old Batman had fought crime in Gotham City for decades and the only threats to him and the city lately are a wheel chair bounded Penguin, your usual purse snatchers and a few con artists popping up every now and then, how well could the Dark Knight do in maintaining the peace in Gotham despite him being just somewhat fit to do that as an elderly man (which says A LOT given how old he is)
uhh he'll probably do what my grandpa does and that is ruthlessly prank them until they die of shame.
in the death in the family interactive movie there's an ending where Jason is tasked with raising Damian and he decides he's gonna raise Damian to take down the waynes and al ghuls which uh maybe isn't great BUT the idea of Jason raising Damian... PRICELESS. CHAOTIC. I just need more people to know about this :)
yes i saw that wow holy shit but jason would accidentally drop damian on his head one (1) hour in and jason just yeets him into the lazarus pit.
Headcanon: The Penguin has a really hard time fighting any of the Robins because of his avian obsession means there's always a small part of his mind that's like "Birb. Child. Protect" ( @subspacecadet )
as soon as dick becomes nightwing the penguin is like 'you know what, fuck this dude' and shoots at him.
Y'all talking about King Shark dating Constantine, let's not forget about John literally hooking up with Satan
listen there's a clear difference between monsterfucker and satanfucker in that king shark is literally a shark and satan still looks like a normal dude
Does everyone in Gotham think Batman is a teen dad?
everyone in gotham thinks batman has been around since gotham was founded, but they do think that bruce wayne is actually a teen father and dick grayson's biological dad.
why. why would you do that fancast when you know it will only hurt people
what? i loved my fancast it was really well done. i did it with good representation in mind and i really managed that with alfred pennyworth being ✨italian✨
Seeing james charles a jason gave me psychic damage how dare you i need to wash my eyes
well that's a you problem isn't it?
do you think dick grayson thirst tweets about nightwing just to annoy his family/cause problems on purpose in general?
he thinks nightwing is hot, next question.
holy jiminy cricket batman, its as cold as the good lords ass crack in here!!
i- what? this is why i don't fuck with english expressions it's way too goddamn weird
Brooooooo, your teen dad!Bruce au is soooo good. I've got brainrot.
Honestly if you ever write anymore, I'd read that shit twice. Sign me the fuck up. Good stuff, Good Stuff.
uh yeah i'm thinking about writing a fic, but i have exams coming up and i don't wanna fail because that would suck. but after i'll certainly be writing more tho
your teen dad AU is so great! bruce acting like a big brother for all of like a week before he's telling everyone about his son. what if in the AU dick meets the JL because they need to rescue him? maybe he's in trouble/kidnapped at a gala and bruce starts calling for JL. clark finds him and has to fly with dick to bring him home - that's how dick and clark meet and superman becomes dick's fave hero. he goes around the manor thinking he can fly with a red blanket draped around him like a cape.
actually- if you want a young dad! bruce fic with like that kinda stuff(just with damian) go check uhh- in for a penny by cdelphiki. it's really good and bruce is like 24/25-ish. (and dick's there!!!)
This account has solely convinced me that Tim is a trash goblin ( @hamilcat-and-magic-turtle )
because he is. that boy has slept in dumpsters on multiple occasions even if he is the son of a billionaire.
Okay but when you said victory dance I did think of the whole justice league defeating the big bad and then they all start flossing
well that's exactly what hal jordan does and that's why batman uses a gun now. no but the victory dance in my opinion is like the 'we're all in this together' dance from high school musical.
The horrors in Invincible s1 was nothing compared to the comics, I cant wait for s2
oh well okay, i mean i personally react to horror and violence by laughing awkwardly so i can't wait to be called a monster for accidentally laughing at a mass murder.
I'm currently watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold and- Bruce is just talking about Oliver like he's an old love (@nightwings-kid)
okay im going to watch that lmao that's totally and completely in character for him tho.
The invincible comic is like super gratuitous with its violence so much so I'm shocked the show was able to adapt it in a faithful way! Anyway had the show been live action it absolutely wouldn't have the same impact as it does as an animated show and I'm so glad so many people agree with me on that
also because a live action casting would've been like uhh amanda stenberg for amber, the dude- the guy from the supernatural but with a mustache for omni-man, and scarlet johanssen for debbie grayson
Debbie grayson is a milf, yes. You're welcome for the invincible propoganda, now you can questions your life. Bruce def seems like the perfect father next to Omni-man. Like they really took a rip off justice league and I was like well, now I'm attached even tho I was like hah I know who they're supposed to be. And then bam- death gore death gore gore gore sad Mark grayson just had to have daddy issues. Why does every character have daddy issues. I'm sick of the attacks
because daddy issues make a person arguably funnier, that's why i'm not even remotely funny (haha good dad flex). i liked that it was dark contextually, but not in the colouring, bc i hate when it's like 'uh yeah graphic murder and now a shot so dark you have to sit in a dark room and squint at the screen to faintly see the characters. (like dcau ugh)
About the Wayne insurance, for a moment I thought you would put the video with moans over the waves.
i mean- i could've done that, but rick rolling seemed more family friendly.
Its the first time in forever that im surpise rickrolled, i usually expect it. Congratulations (i really should know better this is tumblr)
i get rickrolled so often but i actually like the song so i dont really give a fuck
Actually, my information about Damian and John's kids is outdated because it was revealed that the old men telling the kids stories about the Supersons were actually Jon and Damian the whole time. I was blinded by my thirst for Grandpa!Bruce Wayne but I was wrong... I liked my version better, tbh (@artemisa97)
fair enough. but i'd honestly like to see damian and jon getting together, just because it's a really fun dynamic and their friendship was really cute when they were kids. (also idk maybe it would be nice to have one (1) main batfam/superfam character that's not cishet)
How am i JUST finding your blog skdskfkd you're so fucking funny and ur takes are hot
i thought u were calling me hot :( but youre not :( crime detected (but lmao thanks)
So I have depression and I swear that your memes are one of the few things that have made me laugh so thank you 💛🥺 (@katekanebadass)
aw you're welcome, and i hope you're doing okay!
The metropolis memes are so funny, I love them 💀😌
i think metropolis is also so fucking funny it deserves more attention imagine having your entire police force being upstaged by an alien from kansas and his kids
as an american i feel your complete lack of knowledge of us geography is just so sexy (platonic) ❤️
thanks so much (i also don't know any other geography, i'm not kidding, like you can tell me you're from hungary and it will just blank, there will be nothing that comes to mind)
In the DC universe they don't say "Can't have shit in Detroit" they say "Can't have shit in Gotham"
this just reminds me of that guy whose porch got stolen like the steps to his door, and i'm thinking of people living in gotham and waking up without a front door and going "can't have shit in gotham"
honestly all i know about chicago is the bean, so. what would gotham's famous sculpture be?
gigantic gargoyle statue in front of one of the police precincts because a villain thought it was a smart way to keep the police inside, but it's too heavy to move.
why tf do people go on about how batman "works alone" or how he's the "lone wolf" when he like 38290202 members in his family
bc people think it's cool that a grown man in his 30s has no friends or family instead of calling it what it is (sad)
Bruce is gotham's sugar daddy
why would say something so controversial yet so brave.
my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context
dick: gerard way are you in position, gerard way are you in position
tim: for the last fucking time, my codename is 'totally not count olaf' this week, abbafan 3000
dick: shut up my codename isn't 'abbafan 3000'
dick: it's 'abbafan number 1' and you know it
I have a feeling Tim drake is ur favourite batfamily member but okay u don't have favs if u say so ok
i mean he is, i won't deny it. but i love each and every one of the batfam just the same, i just have a weak spot for short dumbass nerds, because i'm a short dumbass nerd.
Omg i fuckin love boy meets world too fam shsjkfk
bro boy meets world was the shit!!! it was just fire and awesome and so fucking great like bro. it was so good im not even going to be accepting criticism
you know I find the whole "joker completes batman" thing a bit disgusting considering the horrendous stuff the batfamily went through because of the joker and let's not get started on the "joker has a point" thing like yeah he's this cool complex villain but he's absolutely batshit crazy
like yes! i get what you mean the joker just fucking sucks man he doesn't do shit for batman's character or the batfam he's literally just annoying as fuck. like the joker has a point' shit is so stupid. i will accept 'magneto was right' because he fucking was and i think he didn't do anything wrong, but joker? he's just like that. he's not even cool and complex he's just a weirdo with a bleach kink at this point.
ALSO YOUR RACISM POST- SO TRUE BESTIE
thanks bestie, i'm glad you agree.
in today's essay of why I think cass should become batman- I was thinking Tim would probably be the most efficient batman in many ways but I also think he wouldn't want to be batman tbh none of the batfamily members would want to be batman because they're trying to outgrow him but cass is the one who wants to represent the symbol that is batman
absofuckinglutely i will say it again and again that cass represents the batsymbol more than anyone in the batfam, in batgirl (2000) she literally didn't care about anything else than bruce's oath to not kill, she thought the batsymbol was more important than anything in gotham. she's just an excellent character because her motivation to not kill is not 'i'm scared i can't come back from it' or 'well my dad says no murder so i'll go along with it' but that she's killed somebody as a young child and she never wants to kill a human ever again and that's so fucking beautiful for a new batman like yes.
need more cass, duke and tim inclusion in gothamite memes
yes yes, a tall order of cass, duke and tim coming up in 1-14 business days
oldest to youngest batfam members cus I'm confused as shit
okay order of being taken in: dick, jason, tim, cass, damian, duke order of age: alfred, bruce, dick, cass, jason, tim, duke, damian (though cass and jason are around the same age general consensus is that cass is a little older)
I'm so confused Steph is a redhead?? like how was it that hard to get this right? the source material is literally right there and free
cw is jared, 19
do you receive anon hate? if so, how do you deal with it
uh no, i'm not remotely popular enough to get anon hate and i also don't say a lot of things that would attract anon hate, but i do send anon hate to @the-real-peter-parker because he forgot about the specialists from winx club
Wait how many languages do you speak??
uhh- 5 if you include latin, but that's a dead language and i'm really bad at it. but english, my native language, german, and french also, tho german and french not fluently.
You can mix aguaepanela with aguardiente 😈 and is tasty
okay but now i'm curious if the liquor deserves the 😈 emoji or if that's a you problem. but i googled it and it looks like something you'd take one sip of and then not remember the rest of your evening.
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rhysismydaddy · 3 years
Text
Unholy Matrimony Pt. 2 (Nessian)
Damnation Series
Parts 1 / 3 / 4 / 5 
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~Nesta~
The day after meeting my fiancé, I drop Alexei off at the plane, tell him goodbye, and drive further down the tarmac to where Cassian’s waiting in a completely different private plane.
Very environmentally conscious, our lifestyle
The stairs are unfolded, so after making sure my luggage is transferred over, I head inside.
Cassian’s waiting, sipping bourbon despite the fact that it’s nine in the morning.
He’s dressed in dark jeans, boots, and a black long sleeve t-shirt that makes the tattoos on his hands and knuckles seem even more pronounced. He seems more comfortable now than yesterday.
Like he’s not trying to fit into the mold of a respectable gentleman in a suit.
He looks over as my heels click against the floor, eyes dragging up my legs, pausing at my chest, and scanning my face.
“Hey,” he murmurs, almost like he doesn’t know what else to say.
My lips twitch as I slide into the seat across from him, staying silent for now to throw him off.
As expected, he shifts in his seat, looking mildly uncomfortable.
Then, like he realizes what I’m doing, he narrows his eyes. “You realize that a woman who just sits there, looks pretty, and doesn’t argue is pretty much a man’s dream, right?”
A smile tugs at my lips, but I sigh like I’m not the least bit amused. “Good morning, Cassian.”
His mouth opens and closes a few times as he tries to determine the proper response for such a ground-breaking conversation opener.
He finally decides on: “You don’t have an accent.”
“Not when I speak English.”
Alexei, the hypocritical bastard, said English should sound like English and Russian should sound like Russian.
“Do you speak any other languages?” he asks, apparently not having looked in my file. He’s probably trying to figure out if his secret conversations with his fellow countrymen are safe.
“I speak Italian, since that’s what you really want to know.”
He grins, playful light in his eyes. “I think I’d like to hear that.”
An amused laugh escapes me at that, but I give him what he wants as I murmur, “Sono sicuro che lo faresti.” I’m sure you would.
His eyes seem to darken, and I roll my eyes. Men.
“I speak a little Russian, but not much,” he tells me. Considering I, unlike him, I did my homework, I already knew that.
Done with this conversation, I close my eyes and attempt to sleep. A plan that goes out the window when Cassian says confidently, “I usually only speak Italian when I fuck.”
I know he’s trying to feel me out, get a rise out of me, so I keep my voice completely deadpan as I reply, “Interesting. I tend to choose French.”
He laughs, face splitting into a humongous, goofy-looking grin. “Now that, I can’t wait to hear.”
Ah, yes. Because the idea I won’t sleep with him is unthinkable.
To me, too, but at least I’m not an asshole about it. Time to humble him a bit.
I feign like I’m not attracted to him in the slightest as I make a show of looking him over. “I never said you would, tupitsa.”
Before he can respond to me calling him a dumbass, I close my eyes and go to sleep.
~Cassian~
My fiancé passes out in a matter of seconds. It’s a little impressive, honestly. One second she’s teasing me with the thought of French whispers under silk sheets, the next she’s dead to the world.
I, unfortunately, am stuck on the first part.
Fuck, she’s hot.
It’s an effortless sort of beauty, considering she isn’t wearing makeup and her hair appears to be naturally blonde and straight.
Regardless, she looks like she just stepped off a runway.
Delicate bone structure, fierce eyes, full lips that sounded so good saying my name it took me a moment to formulate a response.
Distracting curves, sweeping hips, long legs that are currently crossed and allowing the slightest hint of lace at the top of her stocking to show.
My dick takes notice of that site, and I remind the greedy bastard she’s a Russian--an enemy--but he doesn’t seem to care. Nope, he wants me to peel those stockings down. With my teeth.
What’s somehow hotter than even her choice of legwear is the fact that she isn’t doing it on purpose. She’s completely relaxed, asleep for God’s sake, not trying to seduce me.
I grit my teeth and look out the window.
Like every other time I fly, I get restless after about ten minutes. I pull out my phone and make sure everything’s ready for when we land, work on my laptop for a bit, stare at Nesta sleeping for a longer bit, and pace the aisle like a caged lion when I start to feel like a creep.
Because I’ve been dealing with administrative shit like getting engaged, it’s been a while since I’ve done something to quell the rush in my blood.
Business, surprisingly, is boring when an army of hateful Russians isn’t trying to kill you all the time. I haven’t fought in days, haven’t shot my gun in longer.
I send Ricardo a text and have him set up a fight for tonight, but even the thought of the coming violence does nothing to help me calm down.
By the time we land, I’m more than ready to get the hell out of this plane.
Nesta wakes up when the wheels touch down, stretching and looking annoyingly well rested.
As the plane taxis, I tell her, “I have to work tonight.”
It’s a lie, and she cocks her eyebrow like she knows it. But she doesn’t call me on it, doesn’t even seem that interested. “I already requested a separate car.”
My brows furrow because I hate being predictable, but I keep my mouth shut.
Nesta stands as the stairs drop open, straightening her dress and pulling it down over the lacey top of her stockings that are now right in front of my face.
Before I even realize what she’s about, there’s a sharp smack to the bottom of my chin that forces my head up. She tsks, shaking her head teasingly.
“What was that for?” I ask, even though I already know.
She grabs her bag, and I follow as she walks down to the tarmac. “Somnophilia.”
I take a second to look up what the hell that is, laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes when I find the definition. Nesta shakes her head, small smile on those distracting lips, and walks to her waiting driver.
“I’ll see you at home, wife,” I call, not able to resist.
She just flips me the bird over her shoulder, making me laugh again.
Like I said, not what I was expecting.
~Nesta~
Things with Cassian are going... well, I guess.
He has the emotional maturity of a seventeen year old boy, but he isn’t terrible. As long as he stays out of my way, I dare say this marriage might work.
He’ll go about his business, I’ll go about mine, and we’ll avoid each other for happily ever after just like the fairytales say.
I shake my head as Maxim, one of the first New York transplants, navigates us through the city and to Sera. I’ve visited all my clubs at least once, and I have to admit, this one is by far my favorite.
As it should be.
The other three I run in New York were all my father’s originally. Built by a man, for the entertainment of men, I have to say they aren’t places I’d visit myself.
But I built Sera from the ground up, and while it’s designed to appeal to both men and women, men are--for the first time in history--not the priority.
The building it’s located in is a skyscraper, one I rent out to different businesses that don’t need an entire place to themselves. The ground floor is a bank, one that discretely cleans Russian money and makes us more through interest.
All in all, an unremarkable location to the public eye.
But every night, after normal banking hours have long passed, a select number of guests are invited to Sera--a speakeasy-type burlesque club with a hidden entrance in the secondary vault of the bank.
It’s secret, exclusive, and private as hell.
When we get to the bank, I enter the passcode on the side door--changed nightly--and walk through the silent lobby to the back room where the bouncer sits on a wooden stool.
“Privet, boss,” the burly man greets, sweeping the door open and ushering me through with a meaty hand. “Man in the back is asking for the owner.”
I nod and step inside, the door immediately closing behind me.
It’s the perfect level of crowded; enough people that no one stands out but not packed to the point of misery. By design, of course.
Everything seems to be the same as when I visited a few months ago except for the changed flooring I had installed last week. The tables and booths in the back are full of people captivated by the jazz singer on stage, a woman I discovered while walking to a business meeting in Paris.
Her cigarette-roughened voice had pulled me in, much like it does the audience now, and I’d offered her a job on the spot.
One of the bartenders, an ex-con who was locked up for stealing insulin for his diabetic daughter, smiles at me and slides me a tumblr of vodka as I make my way over.
“Good to see you,” Dima greets warmly. “How long are you here for?”
“Permanently.”
His eyebrows shoot up, which makes sense, considering the engagement hasn’t been announced properly. We’re apparently having a party of some kind in two weeks to celebrate the big news.
“I’ll explain later,” I tell him, noticing a group of people approaching the bar.
He nods, and I slip away towards the back corner where a roped-off set of stairs lead down to the basement below.
Like usual, there’s a private poker game happening in the main room of the bottom floor, and I stop to make say a few hellos but eventually move on to the hallway containing offices for some of the management.
The soldier stationed at the door to mine nods in acknowledgement, then tells me a whale’s inside.
My brows raise at the idea of a big-time investor coming to see me at this hour, but I shrug and walk in, shoulders back and face blank. I learned a long time ago to never let my emotions play out on my face.
The man waiting inside looks to be in his forties, richer than sin, and cold. Mafia, undoubtedly. His dark eyes rake over me, and he asks in a tone I don’t appreciate, “Who the fuck are you?”
“Nesta Orlov. You requested to speak to me?”
His bushy brows pinch together. “No, I want to speak to the owner.”
“One and the same.”
“I was told Cassian Azara is the owner.”
My jaw clenches at the thought that we’ve been engaged for less than two days and people already assume my shit is his. “By who?” I ask, remembering our upcoming nuptials aren’t even public news yet.
“My Capo.”
That gets my attention.
Rhysand’s telling people my club is Cassian’s? Why?
Something isn’t right.
I might not know the Italian boss, but I’ve heard he’s straightforward. Ruthless but honest. So why would he lie?
A little voice inside my head whispers, What if he isn’t?
Mind whirling, I turn to the man and smile politely even though it’s the last thing I feel like doing. “Would you mind giving me a moment? If you go upstairs, our bartender will get you anything you want, on the house.”
He shrugs and leaves, and as soon as the door clicks shut, I go to my desk and pull up the electronic copy of our marriage contract.
Like I thought, nothing’s amiss.
I read this shit thoroughly enough to know exactly what I was getting into, and in case I missed anything, I had my private lawyer scan over it.
But that little voice, that gut feeling, refuses to go away. So I grab my bag and look through the physical copy, dread unfurling when I notice an extra page tucked in the middle.
It’s a prenup.
One I’ve never seen.
And there, smack dab in the middle, is a line declaring the deed to Sera the property of Cassian Azara.
A rough breath forces its way out of me, and for a second, I’m so angry, so blind with rage, I can’t hardly think. What the hell is going on?
I force myself to think through this, to rationalize what I’m seeing.
Replaying the moment in the Capo’s office, I realize the switch between the original and this version of the contract must’ve happened prior. I was only in there a few minutes and had the papers in my hand the whole time.
Which means...
Alexei picks up on the first ring, like he was waiting for the call. “Da.”
“What the hell have you done?”
He sighs. “What needed doing.”
“That’s bullshit, and you know it. I wasn’t the one who started a goddamn war with the Italians, and yet I’m the one who’s paying all the prices. I’m marrying the bastard, for fuck’s sake. Give him one of your clubs.”
His tone hardens. “He didn’t want anything else.”
“I don’t give a shit! This place is my property. It isn’t yours to give away.” I take a deep breath and try to quiet the rushing in my veins. “That idiot will run it into the ground.”
There’s a long moment, and I swear he sounds a little guilty as he says calmly, “He has more than a few businesses of his own, Nesta. It will be fine.”
I pinch my lips together to keep from cursing the man who raised me.
“If you read the document,” he says, a strange note to his voice. “You’ll notice there are a number of clauses.”
My eyes scan to the bottom of the page, and I read as Alexei continues. “He is permitted from selling, unless to you. The investors have the option to vote him out at any time. And if he is unfaithful to you or ends the engagement for whatever reason, Sera is returned to you in full.”
All the violence, all the rage, seems to dim. Just a little.
This is so like Alexei; in fact, it was one of his first lessons to me.
Give someone the illusion of winning, and they’ll sign anything you want them to.
I read through the clauses again, lips twitching. “Let me get this straight. If I can prove Cassian Azara--notorious playboy of New York--is cheating on me, the club is mine? And if the board at Sera votes him out, he can’t fight it?”
I can practically hear my father’s smile. “Da.”
“Or if I drive him crazy and he ends the engagement?”
“Da.”
Sounds easy enough. I drive Alexei absolutely insane and have never had a long-term relationship. I’ll have him running for the hills in no time.
One thing doesn’t make sense, though. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I knew if I told you, you wouldn’t sign. It’s still a risk, even with the clauses” He takes a deep breath. “I never told you, but we were losing the war in New York. We would’ve lasted another year, and then we would’ve lost the city.”
“Alexei-”
“I need this alliance to hold, Volchonok,” he says. “And either of you calling off the engagement or divorcing the other is grounds for the war to start back up.”
“So you’re saying I still need to marry him.”
He gruffs a confirmation, and my brain whirls as it thinks of a new plan.
My options are down to three: have him sell to me, prove he’s cheating, or get the board to vote him out.
“One more thing. You only have until the wedding. Once you’re married, the only way to get your property back is if he signs the deed to you.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose, moving my timeline up by a factor of a hundred. Checking the calendar proves what I already know: I have less than thirty days to somehow convince one of the most notoriously stubborn men in the world to give me a multi-million dollar company.
Easy.
“I’m... sorry. For lying.”
I’m so shocked he just apologized--something he’s never done in my twenty-five years of life--it takes me a moment to respond and tell him he’s forgiven. “Ty proshchen, otets.”
I disconnect the call and swivel around in the chair, a smile pulling on my lips.
I’m going to drive him fucking crazy. All while I make him fall in love with me.
Oh, Cassian. I almost feel sorry for you.
_______________________________________________________
NEXT CHAPTER
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transsexualhamlet · 3 years
Text
asmr i psychoanalyze my favorite war criminal, aka calling out norman the essay
basically all of my thoughts on norman on one callout post because i care him (both manga and anime are discussed)
LINK TO RAY PSYCHOANALYSIS:  https://chaoticgaymess.tumblr.com/post/646749875570196480/ray-81194-the-long-explanation 
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this is going to be ungodly long so here’s a keep reading, essay below the cut
((tw for suicidal ideation and self harm, brief discussion of eating disorders))
Disclaimer: no shipping is included here this is just about norman also they’re kids who call each other siblings
Thoughts: So you may be thinking, Rowan, why do you yell about the colorless war criminal so often? Well the answer lies in your honor the court hates to see a girlboss winning. Norman is a girlboss :) Yes norman is a tiny twink who can't lift a milk jug. And he is a girlboss :) Obviously I don't condone, um, eugenics and all, but that's not the point the point is that he satisfies my need for more characters like Levi motherfucking Calder from Unwind because I’m apparently an edgy 13 year old. Also all of his problems are violently things I can fix and I keep him around as a pet project because someone needs to give him a hug and slap him on the face
I diagnose him with things: 
-pisces man :pensive:
-is he albino? Not literally. Is his skin so pale he would catch fire if he went outside at noon? Yes.
-autism: Yes I’m aware that calling him autistic makes him, problematic rep by perpetuating the autism unfeeling savant stereotype whatever but have you considered i’m autistic and I’m projecting also he’s L with standards? Anyway traits of AuTism he has: hyper   fixation, canonically breaks and fixes things over and over because like ofc he does, doesn’t understand Emotion, hyperaware of body language at the same time as it all somehow flying over his head, low empathy, sensory experiences™, min maxed in certain areas, and I don’t think he’s got social interaction quite right? There’s something off about it
-gifted kid (derogatory) This is self explanatory but basically him being the smartest and the best in a competitive environment caused most of his issues, such as the perfectionism, the need to succeed, the lack of self esteem and ridiculously high expectations on himself, giving himself no breaks or time to relax, the “i must be productive with every second of my day or i will die” deal, the “peaked at 11” thing, the way in which he goes through life like there’s going to be a fucking test on it
-Eldest Daughter™ lmao. Norman’s always had to be mature, he’s always had to be the best, he’s always had to do the things Ray got out of bc he’s a snitch and Emma got out of because Isabella likes her. Norman gets respect from Isabella only if he excels, and her bar for him is astronomical. He doesn’t have the Mommy Issues that Ray has, but it’s because for him Isabella basically just reflected his expectations on himself, whereas with Ray it was more personal.
-low empathy (part of the autism thing): this one needs more explanation, but it’s not a bad thing in and of itself. Cognitive empathy is a thing and he can use it, but he does not instinctively understand other people’s emotions, or even recognize them properly, especially when the person is not like himself. This is obvious in Emma. Man has no fucking clue what’s going on in her head or why she does what she does, but he can predict what she will do in any given situation very well. He could understand the suicide attempt from ray he predicted more because Ray’s an easier equation to solve, and someone who’s more similar to him. I know he gets it because, well, motherfucker’s just as self desctructive as him, just in a more dignified manner.
-he’s got some sort of chronic illness. This is also me projecting and a headcanon but he’s got something going on, even before lambda pumped him full of growth hormones or whatever which they maybe should have Not Done but oh well. (I assume this just didn’t happen in the anime, since he’s still so fucking short) But he's So weak. He passed out when it was too hot. He passed out when it was too cold. He can’t open a pickle jar. His skin is too pale and he’s skinny af. He’s much more prone to sickness and probably has asthma too? But in the case that he did actually have something going on, I don’t think grace field would see the need to treat it, if it didn’t impact the quality of his meat? Isabella’s probably just “you have chronic pain and you get migraines? Great, take some tylenol and do some calculus.” Can’t say that probably helped anything.
personality type: ISTJ
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Basically, he’s the most boring personality type to exist, and personally as an enfp i do not respect him. But basically this means he’s a fucking nerd that gets his projects done for school the day they’re assigned, is probably the president of the Anime Student Council™, and could probably get away with premeditated murder (ok actual istjs this is a joke don’t skin me)
The only trait that norman doesn’t have on the istj thing is telling the truth. Yeah, he values the truth, but like, that doesn’t apply to him, clearly. Bitch is a notorious liar.
The only other personality type he has any similarity with is intj, which is the same except it’s more rare and a purple theme instead of a blue theme. Sadly, that’s not him though, because although he can care more about some kinds of philosophy overall this isn’t the case and ray already occupies this personality type tbh. 
strengths and weaknesses: This one’s kind of obvious, but he is aside from the crazy insane intelligence good at planning. Extremely good at planning. He can predict any outcome and figure out how to prevent it, using all his resources. For example he’s physically weak and someone could literally just walk up and stab him, but it doesn’t impede his progress on his goals because he’s surrounded himself with strong, mentally inferior people who would die for him in a heartbeat. He never gets stuck in some “everything is shit and i can’t do anything” deal like Emma and Ray do, he always works through it and has confidence in his abilities (in as much as he will solve the problem or die™. Weaknesses other than his twink body include his Low Wisdom score. It’s funny how he’s often associated with an owl, the mans is 14. He thinks he knows what he’s doing. He doesn’t. Plus obviously his fundamental misunderstanding of so much of everything going on around him, the fact that he lies not just to the world but himself, his refusal to take care of himself and his incredible cowardice. His achilles heel is being forced to, actually confront his actions.
what he likes about himself: He does pride himself on his mental abilities, and his judgement, which in his opinion is the only correct opinion and the only correct way. In the past, he likes being seen as a leader, he likes being responsible for other people. He likes his ability to manipulate and lie, because he sees it as an asset, and I honestly think he enjoys being william minerva more than he enjoys being Norman. He prides himself on his unhealthy expectations and the fact that he is able to meet them. Honestly, he does think he’s better than everyone else, mentally, though it’s humbled by his self hatred. Cursed thought: If Norman had self esteem he would be light yagami. 
what he doesn’t like about himself/insecurities: Oh god, nearly everything. His appearance, his status, his superiority, his physical inability, his own mess of a mind, also have I mentioned his appearance. He’s obsessed with self control. He wants everything he sees wrong with himself gone. And I understand why having control of everything is necessary and appealing, everything for him has always been rigid and planned out from moment one, he was even more regulated in lambda, and though he desperately wants to Not Be Food, he has no idea what to do with the chains now that he’s broken out of them. So he just wraps them around himself. Regulates to an unhealthy degree when he sleeps, what he eats, when he actually takes even minimal care of his own problems, what he looks like, how much of himself he lets show, the expressions on his face, the literal thoughts inside his own head he will shut down if they are not Correct. It’s literal self harm. Norman, please stop it.
motivations/goals in life/general philosophy: To be honest, I’m not sure he knows what he wants. He sure thinks he does, he could sure give you a memorized answer, but it means nothing. He wants to excel. He wants Emma to be happy. He wants to be perfect and for that to make everything perfect. But he doesn’t realize everything he’s working towards will do pretty much the opposite of that. He’s a crippling perfectionist, and pretty much everything he does is motivated by his fear of failing. He picks the certain path, he doesn’t wait for anyone else, he doesn’t care if it’s not nice. Emma foils that a most of the time because he cares about her, but it can only go so far, especially after he’s had so much time without her to develop a Complex. His philosophy is very contradictory, basically the tokyo ghoul “everything bad that happens to you stems from a lack of ability”. All of his problems are his fault. All the world’s problems are his to fix. If he can’t fix them, it’s his fault, it’s because he wasn’t strong enough, and not being perfect condemns someone forever, including himself.
how he’s perceived by others vs how he actually is: In most people there wouldn’t truly be much of a difference, but with Norman things are different, because, well, most of his personality in grace field is a put on, as well as the tough guy dictator thing he radiates after lambda. How he appears to someone is determined by the context of their meeting- the kids at grace field see him as a nerdy, weakish, pretty boring kid who is really caring and kind. The researchers at lambda see an obedient, beaten down and perfectionistic boy. The lambda kids see him as an infallible leader, ruthless and genius, a good man who knows what’s right. But in truth none of that is him. It’s a fucking chess game to him, putting on different faces, lying and pretending and treating everyone differently. In truth? He’s a fucking coward. He’s scared out of his mind and he’s tired and he can’t take pain, he’s obsessed with reaching some goal he deems is necessary that in the end is going to be his death because he doesn’t want to face the consequences of his actions. He’s taken on the role of someone evil, though deep down he’s not, he feels it’s easier to live that way because it strips him of his conscience. 
interpersonal relationships: In general, Norman sees all relationships in a pretty dim light. He sees everyone as black and white, for the most part, and other people make no sense to him intuitively, he has to figure them out like a puzzle. He’s manipulative and not particularly kind, but he follows all societal expectations to a T, overly focused on his appearance and placing the person he’s interacting with into a Category™. So he can be truly kind, to people he feels deserve it, to people who he values and doesn’t see flaws in. He gets incredibly attached to people he loves, protective, though he often doesn’t take their own feelings on the matter into consideration, and he’s ruthless with anyone who he deems a bad person. With people he understands and relates to, though, things can be different. If he sees someone as like himself, he will drop all the social interaction police bullshit and cut to the chase of whatever he wants or needs from them, and he’s not very forgiving in any manner, if he thinks what someone did is actually bad.
Emma: Norman obviously cares a lot about Emma, and honestly views her as better than anyone else. He realizes her moral integrity and all of the things she has and he doesn’t, and admires it. Because of his black and white view, Emma is like an angel to him. She couldn’t do anything wrong if she tried. But he comes to treat her as something to be protected instead of respected, and although he realizes she wouldn’t like what he’s doing, he fundamentally cannot empathize with her and doesn’t try to understand her. Their personalities are very literally opposite. Norman really needs to fucking listen to her. And Emma needs to understand that Norman doesn’t have a single ounce of empathy and you really do need to spell it out for him. Emma can only convince him when she has logical reasons for her actions, which she, doesn’t often have. And Emma gave Norman too much slack, because she didn’t see past the surface, and Ray never wanted to warn her, even though he knew the dude was showing a bunch of red flags, because you know. It was kind of an unspoken deal between them. (on ray’s part)
Ray: His relationship with Ray is a lot more complicated than with Emma. He understands Ray, where he doesn’t understand Emma, and he can see right through anything Ray does. And this makes things really tense between them, because Ray doesn’t, take kindly to being psychoanalyzed. If someone perceives him he will deck them and Norman is just there silently perceiving him at all times when Emma doesn’t see it. They are both constantly in competition with each other, but they care about each other a lot, though it’s kind of in a derogatory way. They both recognize each other as fundamentally fucked up, and silently agree never to bring it up with Emma. They’re nice to each other when she’s around, but all pretenses disappear when she’s gone. Ray is always frustrated with Norman, because Norman’s never been intimidated by him, and though he tries his best not to be vulnerable around him, Norman can always see through it, whereas Ray can’t crack Norman’s fake fucking smile no matter what he does. Norman will always take Emma’s side, and doesn’t see Ray as a good person at all, but he still understands and can excuse him, he takes measures to be… worse than Ray, which is better in his mind, because it’s rational, and ‘not selfish’.
Isabella: She has always had ridiculously high expectations for Norman, and treats him kind of harshly compared to the others. Bitch has heat stroke and Isabella’s first question is a calculus problem instead of like, “are you ok”. She knows he doesn’t complain about anything ever and she doesn’t stop him from being Terrible to himself, because it makes her job easier. They want smart kids, not mentally adjusted kids. She does really care for all of them, but she basically overrides it, she gives them what they want, not what they need, lets them be exactly what they’re making themselves. Isabella is distant with Ray but gives him anything he wants, she’s close and super nice with Emma, but Norman is… it’s weird. Isabella is proud of him because he meets her astronomically high bar. But at the same time, Norman never really cared for her that much and has never pretended to. Once they discover The Thing, though, he has a revelation, and it doesn’t take him long to switch his entire perspective about her. He’s pretty much like. Oh. She’s like me. That explains it, time to treat her like I treat myself: fucking brutally. Passive aggressive as hell. The kind of energy the :) emoticon at the end of an email gives. He does like just go “yeah we should kill her” at one point, which. You know, ok. When he got shipped out it was hhhh really interesting because Isabella knew full well he knew he was walking to his death and Norman was like “are you Truly Happy?” and just went :) and she was like h u h and tried to get him to talk while they were walking there because she feels Bad about it and he just. Did not. He didn’t say a single word just kind of smiled menacingly at her and I think it was half a sort of rebellion and half because he viewed her as similar to himself and therefore felt no need to put up any front with her, no words were necessary for him to impart exactly how he felt about it
Lambda kids: His relationship with the lambda kids is weird and bittersweet. I think he really truly does care about them, they were in a similar situation to his and he wants them to get what they want. However it is not a healthy or beneficial relationship, they see him as a god and don’t realize that he’s killing himself to give them what they want, he’s basically adopted them when out of anyone norman’s the one that should least be in charge of kids. I think he’s honestly younger than them but I’m not sure if they even know. He acts like their fucking mom, and that’s from what he thinks mothers are like… like isabella?? Giving them what they want, not what they need, lying to them, showing a front, caring deeply for them but at the same time using them for his own ends. And it’s not helpful for him. He thinks he knows what they need, but what he’s doing is what they want. What they need is therapy,(and so does norman), and he doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with using them as weapons because they love him. It makes him feel good, to be seen as perfect, to have people who don’t know how weak he really is. But it’s only making him worse, and he’s enabling everything the lambda kids are doing wrong as well. They need like, Yuugo and Lucas. Some actual adults who are actually wise and have the ability and the knowledge to take care of them and understand their mental problems and maybe actually address them. And actually be nice to them. But um sadly. 
what he’s doing wrong: It’s pretty obvious, but… Norman, you maybe *shouldn’t* commit genocide? You’re not helping emma, you’re not making anything better. You’re not helping the lambda kids, you’re enabling them. You’re not helping your friends from grace field, you’re ignoring what they want. You’re not helping the world, you’re eradicating an entire race from the face of the earth and murdering the poor for the crimes of the fucking 1%. You’re not being a martyr, you’re a selfish piece of shit liar you little coward, you just want an easy way out and you want to die on your bloody fucking hill instead of admitting you’re wrong. Grow up, cringe little man.
why he went wrong: I think most of the reason this happened was the way he was raised combined with the kind of person he is. Norman would have turned out fine, if there has been good adults in his life who actually cared about his well being. Instead he got people who just wanted to control him and make him what they needed, and family who largely didn’t realize there was anything wrong. Ray being an ass to him most of forever probably didn’t help but well, that’s just Ray. Even then, he would have managed alright if he escaped with the rest of the kids because he would never have been separated from the experiences that caused the rest of them to realize demons weren’t all evil. In lambda he didn’t have anyone supporting him or telling him when things went too far, so he fell into relying on himself alone, pushing himself further with absolutely no limits. All he saw was enemies and allies, and things got stratified. He never had a lucas or a yuugo or mujika when he would have needed it, instead he found children who wanted him to be in charge and a world that made it so he had to be. Everything was an echo chamber for his worst thoughts, so they just became more and more dominant.
what he needs: To put it simply, he needs Emma and Ray to cut to the chase and slap him across the face and make him take care of himself. He needs to be forced to see everything for what it really is- this edgy 14 year old committing atrocities to feel better about himself? He needs to be told that what he’s doing is irrational, because in reality, it is. There are better solutions that he’s ignoring, both to his own suffering and the demons, and the way he’s going now no one will truly be happy because of it, that there is no requirement that things be perfect and this bullshit doesn’t make him stronger. He needs someone responsible to take the fucking dagger out of his hands. He also needs someone to babysit him and make him go to bed at a reasonable time.
i describe his personality through songs on my spotify playlist for him:
-outrunning karma by alec benjamin: this one super applies because it calls him out for making shitty decisions, being manipulative and a liar, and having blood on his hands in a very calm and subdued manner, that he knows this is wrong and yet he chooses to keep running faster and faster towards destruction, that he means to escape it through death
-empty by boyinaband and jaiden: yes this is a song about anorexia yes it also applies to norman i’m not saying norman literally has an eating disorder (but honestly it wouldn’t be far out of character if he did) but metaphorically this applies to his method of ignoring his needs, both emotional and physical, in favor of seeming in control 
-toxic thoughts by faith marie: this one speaks to his gifted kid trauma. Man’s got perfectionism running his entire soul. He’s terrified of failing, because he’s always been at the very top, he’ll beat himself up over any miniscule mistake and forces himself to keep at bad habits that keep him Productive, but he won’t ask for help no matter how much he’s suffering because that would be failing, he fights with his mind, this song basically tells him “yeah i feel you but you need to stop that”
-no time to die by billie eilish: ignore the romantic overtones but this is emma and norman, emma who trusted norman and was lied to, betrayed, for norman’s greater good, and norman who refuses to feel or hurt because of it, who refuses to apologize or see himself as wrong, pushes forward because he’s going to Pass Away
-achilles come down by gang of youths: hhhhh it's like. His vibe. Obviously you can disregard the lifestyle specific shit but it's. It's achilles come down you have to understand it’s like the same deal as friend, please just like french and longer
-friend, please by 21 pilots: i feel like i don't have to explain this one but it’s more to the manga (not the anime where he kind of figures out he done did wrong by himself instead of committing unforgivable sins and still going yeah this is valid before emma is like holy fuck). He is like sorry emma I cannot fix anything I’m going to die :) *coughs blood* and emma going like stop it stop it stop it fuck you see you fucked up and i forgive you just stop don’t walk away while he’s like “no<3”
why im a repressed little norman kinnie even tho he’s my exact opposite: I don’t generally kin ppl like norman, honestly he’s an infj I have no clue how it happened but I’m pretty sure it’s because of my intense desire to project onto a little man who cannot lift a milk jug and has chronic pain and decides you know what I AM tired of being nice i DO wanna go apeshit. Also he’s a twink. A little bastard. He’s a terrible person and I go mood every time he does anything. I said mood when he fell out of a tree. Don’t know what this says about me, I swear I wouldn’t commit no genocide. He’s like the inverse of Yoichi Saotome, and somehow i kin him too. Damn.
Miscellaneous headcanons:
-man’s SO attached to his william minerva cloak. He’s a wispy little bitch, you know he’s wearing that thing inside the house, he’s fucking cold. It also makes him Look Important he can retreat into it like an emo middle schooler with an oversized sweatshirt
-although you could probably get Mad street cred from having two whole brands you know he’s not gonna whip it out and show off his lambda thing he’s incredibly self conscious and his chest hasn’t seen the sun in years
-norman’s got MAD laundry skills to be able to wear like, all white all the time while constantly murdering people. I think he’s the only one who knows to do the laundry. And Ray is the only one who knows how to cook.
-but even then there’s gotta still be a few questionable stains on that thing, but if anyone asks he’s like “ketchup” “I’ve literally never seen you eat anything with that much color” “ketchup :)” *coughs blood*
-he’s probably thought “well i have not literally coughed blood yet today so I am not legally obligated to take care of myself”
-He probably adopted much of his current personality from taking on the persona of william minerva. I’m calling him out for being like me, he’s a blank motherfucker, he absorbs personality traits from characters he plays! He’s just not in theatre so it’s a bit more intense!
-the first time he sees barbara Eating Demon Meat he kinda stares and goes oh cool! not for me and violently exits the room. Like it's hilarious bc he thinks that's really gross on a moral level though he understands why she would do it 
-Which is even funnier bc I’m not sure about the canon on this but there was That Chapter Cover that one time that kinda seemed to imply norman eating demon meat which i absolutely latched onto because I’m terrible. He was just politely eating it. With a knife and fork like why dude. As to a possible reason for him doing that I can come up with, of course barbara does it out of spite, but man we don’t know the properties, if it had some sort of painkilling aspect to it or it was like, caffeine, you know he would, but he would Definitely not talk about it
-I kinda disagree with what the anime did in episode eight? It was good I liked it and the imagery was fantastic but also have you considered Norman could not kill someone with his own hands if he tried, or even physically injure them? That’s what his minions are for shawty. That doesn’t make it any less bad, of course, but the manga captured it perfectly by the fact of he carries around a dagger and a scepter in the capitol battle, but he never even raises it out of more than intimidation. He walks through calmly like he’s not scared at all but he makes sure all the lambda kids do all the actual murder, he just stands there impartially, clearly The Mastermind, as the kids fucking murder the queen of the demons. And I think that’s more profound because he’s, a coward. And he doesn’t realize being the one who orders the strike makes you just as responsible as the one who sticks the knife in someone. The knife is just there to Compensate™  for the fact that he weighs like eighty pounds.
-he’s more of like lady macbeth (because he’s a girlboss) than macbeth himself. He has blood on his hands, but it’s the kind of blood that you can’t wash off. He never killed anyone himself, and he cannot admit he never would have been able to.
-the last thing is that there are definitely epic things about the anime, episode 8 was my favorite so far, goddamn that imagery and the bitch walking through the city while it burns down with the screaming asmr going on behind him my god. We stan. But like the downside of, letting Emma and Ray get to him before he commits first degree murder makes the whole thing lose a lot of his value. In the manga (oh my god look at me being a pretentious manga fan please) it fit more of his ideas- he never backed down, and he planned for Emma coming and trying to stop him. Of course he wanted Emma to stop him, he wanted it with all his fucking heart he was pleading for it to happen but the man wouldn’t give himself what he wanted if he was held at gunpoint. He knew she’d come and he made absolutely sure she wouldn’t be able to stop him. So when she came and he said “you’re too late”??? It kind of said it all, in the fact that he was disappointed that he got his way. He still thought he did the right thing, but deep down there where he shoved all his thoughts and feelings he desperately wanted to be saved from himself.
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So yeah, those are my thoughts. Feel free to eviscerate me if these are not Correct he is just my favorite girlboss who I feel the need to yell at
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boop-le-snoot · 3 years
Text
PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 29
First time reader click here
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Feels like this story is flopping. Is it flopping? Idk. This chapter is 100% plot and it is spooky. Cursed demon box. Helpful Stephen Strange and grumpy Wong. Hovering Bruce and Tony. Loki being a honorary Gen-Z. Found family but make it ✨superheroes✨.
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"That's a lot to unpack," Peter stated once I had given him the bare bones report of the situation at hand. "Uh, are you okay?" The boy was obviously upset at my predicament, placing a supportive hand on my shoulder.
"Kinda?" I offered, making space for Wanda and Pietro who decided to join me and Peter, away from the arguing adults. The mission discussion - an absolute disaster - started as soon as Peter had walked in. Evidently experienced in such matters, the boy ignored the bickering and came over to steal me from Bruce's clutches to peacefully finish his egg sandwich in the company of his peers.
"I wanted to ask if I could see your memory of that time," Wanda meekly offered me a piece of candy. I accepted it - sugar sweet sugar, how I love thee so! The witch continued with a smile: "I think it would be helpful to see what we're dealing with, magic-wise."
"Sure," I trusted her. "Just don't scramble what's left of my sanity, please," All of us laughed at my remark as I laid down on the cold floor with my head in Wanda's lap. Her powers felt like small brain zaps, tingles that began at the front of my forehead and ran down into my spine. I followed her instructions and thought about the times I remembered, finding the box, placing it into my closet, the nightmares. I had a mild headache by the time she was done; no grudges against her - Wanda tactfully avoided my private moments and looked only at the ones containing the artifact.
"You've gotten really good," I complimented her with pure adoration.
"Thank you," She blushed, smoothing back my stray hairs. "That stuff is really strong. I don't think you should go near the box," She admitted. "And Doc should take a look at you. You have a residue left. I don't think that's good either."
"Well, fuck," I said in muted resignation.
"Press F to pay respects," Pietro joked in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere.
"Your luck is almost as bad as mine," Peter pointed out.
I scoffed. "Well, if I see any spiders around, I'll be sure to stay away in case they happen to be radioactive OsCorp runaways."
All of us laughed. Despite the grim situation, I didn't feel doomed. I was surrounded by friends and my boyfriends and my bestie who happened to be a mythical omnipotent god- welp, once again, I was getting too emotional. Once the adults were done arguing, we could start making sense of this mess and hopefully clean it up before the monster is out of the box.
"Mortals," I heard Loki scoff. The next moment, the Asgardian sat down noisily next to me, pout on full display. "This house is a nightmare."
His expression - or the accidental use of a meme - sent me completely, tension leaving my body via copious amounts of nearly hysterical laughter. Through tears and hiccups, I saw Wanda cackle with me and Peter show the meme in question to Loki, noting that he had been once sent to time-out on top of the fridge by Tony himself. Soon, all of us were laughing, much to the displeasure of the adults.
"Children, what is the issue?" Thor asked, irritated.
"We're just waiting for you to be done with arguing," I spoke before Loki could start bitching about Thor calling him a child. "Then I can show Steve and Loki where exactly have I buried the box so Stephen can take me to the healers and get this thing out of me or whatever," I pointed out the most logical plan of action.
Two long strides and the sorcerer was standing over me, boom-boom-whooshing and generally making very pretty golden patterns to appear and land on top of me. Tony and Bruce anxiously hovered behind him, both of my boys concerned and ready to mother-hen me. Ugh, so disgustingly adorable. Wanda's hand encompassed mine - she was nervous.
Stephen took a solid five-minute silence break before coming to a final conclusion. "Wong can get rid of the residual traces of the artifact's influence," The sorcerer announced curtly. "It's good you got rid of the artifact, a few more months and you would have started slipping into insanity if the magic within it was not released," He explained, slowly reaching out a hand to place it on top of my head. I wasn't sure if it was a gesture meant to bring comfort or another diagnostic test but leaned into the touch nonetheless. "Tell me, did you have any behavioral... Disturbances after...?" He trailed off.
I chewed on my lip, evaluating. "I honestly don't know. I've always been kind of an asshole," Honesty was the best policy. "Nothing seems out of order, sleepwalking aside."
"I see," Strange gave me a tight-lipped smile. "Perhaps, it was your stubborn nature that forbade the artifact from corrupting your mind completely. As evidenced by Captain Rogers, even undesirable character traits bring good into this world now and then."
That seemed a little bit hostile. I frowned, giving a questioning look to a frowning Loki.
"Speaking from experience?" Not the one to hold back upon witnessing first-grade bullshit, I withdrew from Stephen's touch, raising a sarcastic eyebrow.
Surprising everyone, the man laughed soundly, eyes crinkling at the corners. "I most certainly do," Shooting me a positively mischievous wink. I felt like I was missing something.
The room's inhabitants slowly ticked out in pairs and threes, eager to complete their assigned tasks. Loki had insisted on coming along to the sanctum with me, even almost getting up in Stephen's face, but Bruce - out of all people - managed to calm the Asgardian down, and together we convinced him his magic would be considerably more useful during the retrieval of the cursed box. Loki was worried - everyone with a pair of functional eyes could see that the spiky attitude was his way of showing he cared about me, which made my insides briefly turn to mush. I didn't expect him to take the title of my best friend so seriously and I definitely was not complaining.
Tony was the last to leave, jittery and shaky, clutching me like it was his last time seeing me, kissing me hungrily in front of everyone. The joke or two he made were weak ghosts of his usual sharp snark.
"I love you and I'll be back soon," I whispered into his ear, feeling him freeze and his fingertips dig almost painfully into my sides. Louder, I repeated: "Not planning on dying any time soon, y'all gotta chill. Let's go, doc?" I addressed the tall sorcerer who was tactfully pretending to be busy with his smartphone.
Wanda pressed a duffle bag into my hands mouthing "clean clothes" a split second before Stephen opened a portal and with a great deal of curiosity, I stepped through it, eyes immediately drawn to the dimly lit space filled with books and antiques. So many books, so many unusual trinkets. The chandelier that hung over our heads rivaled the ones I'd seen in million-dollar-homes of dad's friends.
"Follow me," Stephen extended an arm in the direction of a smaller door, "Please do not touch anything."
I walked a pace behind him, satisfying my curiosity by looking around like a child in a candy store. The air smelled different in the Sanctum, almost as familiar as Loki's magic but less frosty... Warmer. A dash of red fabric swished from somewhere towards me; I giggled. The Cloak of Levitation liked me - not nearly as much as it liked Peter though - so I brushed my fingertips along the fabric, greeting it quietly. Talking loudly in this building was out of the question. I felt like any moment, a disgruntled librarian would appear to chastise me for making noise.
"Strange," A short Asian man appeared, book in hand and looking none too happy. Guess that's the librarian... "I got your text. The room next to yours is prepared for the ritual," The man I assumed to be Wong gave me a curt nod in the way of greeting, doing a quick 180° and walking us back to a small but tastefully decorated room with a single cot in the middle. It was pleasantly warm, a small fire lit in the fireplace, willowy smoke of incense rising from a few strategically placed sticks.
"The bathroom is that way. I'm afraid you'll have to be fully nude for the procedure," Strange declared apologetically, pointing to a door hidden behind the divide.
I snorted, but of course, the weird voodoo shit would require me to be naked. Not that I was embarrassed or anything but still. Tony would have a field day. Locating a chair, I dumped my duffle bag on it, flying out of my hoodie and sweatpants in record time. My underwear and socks followed, feet unpleasantly chilly despite the carpeted floor. I ran a hand over the faint bruises on my hips, evidence of last night, fondly - either Tony or Stephen had left marks on my body and that was... It was great. I loved it, drugs or not.
I heard someone clear their throat and turned around, nearly cracking up at the way both men suddenly averted their gazes, blush riding high on their cheeks. I snorted: "I'm hot, what else is new?"
Wong shook his head, busying himself with some sort of a book; Stephen lingered, eyes fixated on the very same bruises. His tongue darted out, wetting the plush of his bottom lip, and damn, this wasn't the time to get horny. I shook my head and with that, the sorcerer caught himself too, mutely motioning me to lay down on the cot.
"Whenever you're done eye-fucking each other," Wong piped up sarcastically - wow, I liked this man already. Stephen grumbled something quiet and rude, provoking another snort from me.
I followed their instructions - shortly after the Asian man began reading - or rather singing - something in a language I didn't know, I felt myself fall into a deep sleep. Or, I thought I was falling asleep. At one point, my eyes opened to an empty room, a thin sheet covering my bare body, and a silence that made chills run down my spine.
"Stephen?" I called out. I sounded like I was underwater to my own ears. "Wong?"
I was met with silence so deafening, I had no choice but to sit up and look around. The fire was burning strong in the fireplace, several logs blackened from it as sparks flew. It took a second for me to realize it made no sound - there was no crackling. Something was very wrong, the dread was creeping up on me.
Very familiar dread.
With the sheet firmly wrapped around me, I hopped off the cot, suddenly noticing the drawings on my arms, my legs. I was covered in runes similar to the ones I had seen on the cursed box - and my memories weren't missing. As clear as day, I recalled messing around with the box, debating on opening it, taking it out of my room only to find it back on my desk in the morning, some serious Anabelle shit.
I jumped as the floorboards cracked somewhere in the house. Every logical thought I had, backed up by every horror movie I had ever watched, screamed at me to NOT go towards the creepy noise; like moth to a flame, I was drawn in and couldn't resist the unnatural urge to investigate it. On silent feet, I padded out of the room, desperately trying not to think about the lonely, dark hallways filled with strange ancient objects. My steps made no noise.
On the couch, in the main room we'd arrived, sitting lazily, was Tony. I'd recognize his hair anywhere - and the Led Zep tee, old, frayed edges and loose threads. "Tony?" I asked hopefully, trying to make sense of this...
He turned around.
It wasn't Tony. Whatever it was, it wore Tony's face, it held his brown eyes and crow's feet around them - it wasn't him. Wrong, like the lack of sound in this place, misplaced and unnatural. The doe browns didn't sparkle, lifeless, dull color of dried mud. As much as I wanted to go and bury my face in his chest, my limbs filled with lead, my whole body screaming "DANGER".
The impostor kept quiet which only solidified my suspicions. Real Tony would be running his mouth already, poking fun at my impression of a sheet ghost.
"Princess?" The... Thing asked in Tony's voice, but it fell flat and monotone.
"Whatever you are, you sure as Hell ain't Tony," I stated firmly, hoping for some answers. "What the fuck?"
Not-Tony's face changed, familiar features twisting into something sinister, the malice making me sick to my stomach. The creature stood up, causing my feet to take an involuntary step back as he advanced slowly.
"You have no choice but to submit," The Thing replied calmly. "You're not getting out of here. Not even your little Asgardian pet god can save you," Its tone was absolutely flat. I would have thought the thing was a robot if not for the obvious involvement of magic in this situation. Its words filled me with dread as thick as molten lava; unfortunately for the creature, unlocking my memories gave me enough rational balance to be acutely aware of it and therefore, able to fight it.
I could fight it. I didn't know how exactly, but I could resist it. "That's a really bold thing to say for something that... What even are you? Magical STD?" As my brain desperately focused on finding a solution to a problem I didn't know all the details of, my mouth had a mind of its own.
The creature growled, a far more primal noise than a human could make. "You don't know what you're up against, child. I am one for we are many," Suddenly, the room was filled with shadows as if someone had turned off all the lights and cranked up the moon to be the brightest it ever was. The shadows moved, oozed, motion sinister without any light to back it up.
I had no choice but to pucker up. Nobody was coming to rescue me; in fact, I always have taken pride in being a self-saving princess. Damsel in distress wasn't really my style. The hunch in my shoulders disappeared, giving way to a stubborn and stiff expectation of the upcoming altercation, hands bailed in fists.
"I mean, like Legion the demon from the Bible?" I recalled what little I knew from Wikipedia. "I mean, I'm agnostic myself, but if you feel like identifying with that, you should probably see a therapist."
The entity growled, shadows gathering around it like fabric on a string, and lunged. Paralyzed by sudden blinding, deafening fear, I turned tail and ran.
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