#lets not even talk about western beauty standards and race
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Yes I am staunchly anti plastic surgery (minus necessary = medical/pain/trans reasons) unless you're trying to look more like a freak. But normally it's just about looking more to the patriarchy's standards and not only is that harmful to women's (and men's but lbr it's mainly women) self-image it's lame as hell.
#to be clear im not against the individuals who get it. im against the normalization and the expectation (in some regards) of it#rich ppl will always look 'more beautiful' than the average person under the way it works too. so like. its not just sexism its classism#lets not even talk about western beauty standards and race#josiah speaks
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the skin whiteners shows that racist beauty standards that favor whiteness or paleness are still horrifically common even amoung POC. There are fucking sweatshops all over the global south all run by western companies and like a shit ton on "convenient" produce (bananas, coffee, sugar) come from modern plantations. also what do you mean by corporate greed =/= capitalism, like thats the driving force behind our current system. Again the hawai'i tourism relates to colonialism, again. Im talking about Nonblack artists piggybacking off of black mediums to get rich. Also the apartheid thing kind of makes me think that the genocide you are talking about (and just seems to be farm attacks) is using scare language. Genocide implies a government hand. I dunno, the alt right seems to have power because of the JAN 6 RIOT, Y'KNOW THE THING THAT HAPPENED 3 YEARS AGO REMEMBER THAT? AND LIKE, THE LEGALIZED SEXUAL DISCRIMINATION? Yes poor white neighborhoods are also overpoliced but thats Whataboutism, you are changing the subject
also TBH, I think that the worldview that proudly proclaims that everything is just fineeeee and that no systemic racism existssss everrrrrrr is significantly and vastly more black and white than one where it does.
Okay, but THAT'S NOT OPPRESSION. Poc adopting "racist beauty standards" is not white people oppressing poc. It's not racist oppression.
Sweatshops are absolutely fucked up and stupid, but they are not racially motivated and do not mean poc elsewhere are oppressed. That is a corporate greed thing, not a racism thing.
Corporate greed is not capitalism. Capitalism as a system is all about free trade. What you are thinking of is corporatism, Hun.
Colonialism. Right. Cuz Hawaii's government favoring tourism for it's economy totally means poc are oppressed by white people, even ones that don't live in Hawaii, a non-white majority state.
"black mediums." What black mediums..name them and then how that's racist. This is a free country, and if those mediums do not have rules banning white users they are not black mediums and do not have a right to cry racism if non-blacks use them, let alone try to blame it on white people if non-blacks "get rich" on them.
Sure, Hun, cuz killing people en mass because of their race isn't genocide if they're white. We get it you're a racist.
And honey, sweetie pie, the Jan 6 RIOT? where there were no casualties on the side of the cops caused by the "rioters" but casualties on the "rioters" side? That's fucking funny given the summer of riots BLM performed with the government not even trying to stop them, black people blatantly supporting the riots, claiming it was their right to burn shit down and it was racist to oppose the riots or even defend yourself from rioters cuz "property doesn't matter over black lives. UwU". You wanna call Jan 6 a riot when they didn't even destroy property, I'm so fucking done. What's even more fucking funny is that there is no legalized sexual discrimination. That is not a thing.
And no, that's not whataboutism, you listed black neighborhoods being overpoliced as a form of oppression black people face. I pointed out white people face it too, meaning it is not racially motivated, ergo cannot be racist oppression, ergo cannot be racism even by your shitty definition. And I never changed the subject. I was literally on fucking subject, you just don't like me proving that what you listed is not racism.
And that's funniest fucking thing you've said so far.
Motherfucker, WHERE DID I SAY SYSTEMIC RACISM DOESN'T EXIST??? You wanna claim I'm changing the subject while you're putting words in my mouth. Systemic racism does exist, but really only the conviction rates you listed was systemic racism, and oh guess fucking what? Even in America white people face systemic racism too (legalized discrimination in hiring processes, for example, being the majority of police violence victims, being able to be murdered with clear racial motivations without it being labeled a racist hate crime, etc), and systemic racism existing does not mean you cannot be racist to white people.
Again, you are just mad that I am not agreeing with you. I never changed the subject, I never said systemic racism doesn't exist, I just don't follow your nonsensical "power plus privilege" view on the matter (which in itself doesn't make sense as the vast majority of white people hold no more power or privilege than any poc, and there are poc with far more power AND privilege than the average white person).
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Cant stop thinking about that time I went on Reddit to ask for makeup advice, hoping to achieve that kbeauty soft makeup look (as in making me look soft, not as in more natural looking) and instead got replies telling me that I looked like a model, that people would get surgery to have eyes that looked like mine, that the makeup in the photo is unattainable.
The thing is that I don’t look like a model at all. I just look like a young Asian woman. It reminded me of when make up artists started saying fox eye make up was in style now and then started pulling their eyes back.
A dissonance of understanding that they didn’t mean any harm, but caused it anyway because of the system of beauty they work under: one where parts of our body come in and out of style.
From small butts to BBLs. From big eyes to fox eyes. White to tan to black to white again. Our culture rewards them for finding new features to exotify.
Let me walk it back. Why did someone calling me a model feel like a micro aggression?
Well, the advice they gave me on the subreddit was all very centered around western beauty, so I think it was less a matter of false flattery and more a matter of them having genuinely no idea how to frame my face in western beauty standards.
The photo I used for my bare face vs the advice they gave me.
Similar to the way people say Asian women date ugly white men and white men date ugly Asian women—it’s not that they’re fetishizing the other for their race (although sometimes they indeed are doing that), but that what they each think of as beautiful is different based on exposure.
So my eye shape is a unique (exotic) feature to capitalize on to them, but to me, I look like a normal Asian person.
This was reinforced by the model they said I reminded them of: Devon Aoki.
I totally get where they’re coming from with this! I do look similar to her in face shape, but I think it’s really notable that Devon is Wasian. Half white half Asian, which is pairing a lot of people say makes the prettiest babies.
What I hear when they say that, however, is that racial ambiguity is beautiful.
“The Instagram look is racially ambiguous, as it includes many features commonly found in Black women, Indigenous women and other women of color. However, BIPOC women who naturally have these features, compared to rich white and white-adjacent women who have gone through cosmetic procedures to achieve the same features for aesthetic’s sake, are rarely given the same level of acclaim or endorsements for their natural beauty.”
Again, it’s about a system where parts of our body come in and out of style, where proximity to whiteness is really key to determining what part is just an ‘ethnic’ feature and what will be trendy. So although what’s on Devon makes her look like a high fashion model, my features will always read as an un-notable Asian woman.
Ariana Grande was accused of Asian fishing. I don’t think she was doing this on purpose. It’s just that she likely got a face lift done that, as a side effect of pulling her face back, reduced her upper lid crease, making her look more Asian.
So yeah, I don’t doubt that people would get surgery to get eyes like mine. But that’s a monkey’s paw! One where, even though people are literally getting surgeries to have the “privilege” of having feature like mine, those features on my face will never have the same appeal.
The last thing is the idea that this makeup is unattainable. I find this very sweet to say, as obviously took my wording to mean I thought she had very little makeup on and wanted to reassure me that she was artificial.
However, most times when people talked about this style of makeup, they use soft to mean “looking sweet” rather than literally a soft amount, so it was really frustrating to see a cultural barrier hamstring the advice I got. Again, most of it was along the lines of the Western Baddie look rather than the more ‘soft’ makeup tutorial I was looking for (which I later found when Douyin makeup tutorials got translated).
The image I asked for advice on, the "soft" pic I posted for their reference, and a later, more skilled try (that I figured out myself by watching Douyin makeup tutorials).
It also reminded me of the way people jump on anything vaguely positive about China as a ploy by Chinese spies or propaganda by the coerced citizens. The way they pit China against America and use them as a measure of 'real' state propaganda.
Obviously it’s not the same—she clearly was wearing filters and they were misunderstanding my language in the first place—but it also made wonder about how much they’d have said had I asked about advice on getting a more Gigi look or a more Kardashion makeup style?
Sure, there would’ve been people calling out their photoshop/surgery/filters, but would their advice also have been more actionable? More understanding that I was interested in the technique of their makeup, like the Kardashian contour or the 2016 brows or Gigi's fox eyes for instance, rather than assuming that I’d been brainwashed by extreme Asian beauty standards?
I understood, even then, that her look would be unachievable on account of my face shape and skin color (and whew boy that’s its own can of ‘Eurocentric beauty standards and colonialism’ worms), but I also knew that my makeup skills were beginner at best, and that I could be achieving more similar results with the right advice, which I later did.
Anyways, I appreciated all of the advice!!!! They were all super nice, and some of the tips I did end up following!
But America's beauty culture makes it impossible to conceive of beauty unrelated to whiteness -- Western/white beauty tips, Wasians are the prettiest babies, I am a 'high fashion' model, surgery to have my eyes, extreme Asian beauty standards -- like the way orientalism fails to conceive of the East beyond a reflection of the West.
#orientalism#my thoughts#imperialism#asian american#beauty standards#chinese american#ABC#colonialism#eurocentrism#eurocentric beauty standards#undescribed
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Human 'Imperfection' and My Brain
I've talked a bit before about my general fascination with people's faces, and "imperfections." I'll link any posts here: link
But recognizing that my fascination with these little details that kind of set different people apart was not in fact attraction to people, just my brains own particular way of perceiving them, eventually leading me to recognize that I'm Ace. this post is too late for Ace Awareness Week, but time is a construct, so I don't care.
But anyway, I wanted to bring some examples. and give us all an excuse to look at some beautiful humans. Now these are recent entries, I guess we'll call it, into this collection I keep in my brain, but I will come back with more, but those will probably take more time. So, I'm going to be putting up the pictures of these lovely human beans, and then talking about the feature that gives my brain that good buzz. It's something that makes them different-- "imperfect"-- and my brain really goes for that.
To clarify from the jump...I will call these features imperfections, but that is in no way a negative thing for me. To me it's all just a piece of what makes a person who they are. I honestly think all of these people are gorgeous. The idea of imperfections is, for me as an American, related a bit to western standards of beauty, from bone structure to proportionality, and also to the idea in entertainment that someone must be without blemish to be 'beautiful' or 'attractive' or whatever. So I don't want any bullshit. So let's get started.
I guess we'll start with Bright, since these photos are just in name order from me saving them on my computer. Bright has this little scar on his upper lip just by the left corner, and there's just something about it for me. Like, scars in general are fascinating to me, because they denote life lived, something caused the scar. It may also be the fact that it is on his lips, which are luscious. I don't know, but watching him in 2gether, every time that part of his face was visible on screen it's all I could focus on. I'd also like to note that for most of his ad photos it's airbrushed out, which bums me out. He also tends to pose with his right side forward, and often covers that corner of his mouth even in candid photos, which indicates for me that he is probably a little self-conscious about it.
Now First--it's the neck y'all. Like proportionately his neck is too long technically. It means nothing, it's just his skeleton, but man it is...inviting. Like, watching Don't Say No I understand why Leo constantly had his face in there.
Mr. Satur--now this man is clearly a gorgeous human, he's holding so much of the available attractiveness of the human race hostage. But watching Ingredients last week (you should definitely watch) I noticed in one episode where he has a bit of stubble that he's got this little scar under his chin. And it scratches a weird itch in my brain. Like this practically perfect human, with that little scar, it's humanizing sort of, like he's not quite perfect, but he is. Also, like Bright, I think Jeff may also be a bit self-conscious about it too, and also it's often covered by makeup for photoshoots and stuff, which is a bummer.
Now for Meen, I watched the most recent episode (6) of Ai Long Nhai and saw his birthmark and I just love it. I also have a birth mark, but I feel like it's something you rarely see on celebrities/actors. Usually it gets covered in make-up or airbrushed out, but I love that you see it here. Considering the fairly high percentage of the first few episodes where Ai is shirtless, I'm surprised it took 6 episodes for me to notice it, but I may go back and see if it's covered by makeup in the earlier episodes. If so, I hope they stick with this instead because I love it.
Mile, baby Mile, it's the eyebrows. Now as I said, most of this is based around the beauty standards I was raised around (meaning westernized) and thicker eyebrows on a man are the norm, but it's this wider on the outside winged shape to them. Like it's practically like an animated character's eyebrows.
Now let's talk about Earth, I picked this photo specifically because there is something about this man in 3/4 profile that almost overwhelms me. The feature that get's me for Earth is the nose. I don't have the vocabulary to fully describe what it is about his nose, but I love it. His nose may not be particularly unique, but it's just very perfect in his face. Looking at him as I try to convey this I think it's kind of it's ordinary-ness. Like he has such a balance of features in his face. The strong jaw, strong brow, but then the shapelier lips and high but rounded cheekbones, and then his nose is just this perfect balance between those two axis.
I'm gonna put together some more examples, you know, step outside of Thailand, but maybe I'll go geographically, could be fun and a bit of a challenge. You got some examples? You got thoughts?
#my weird brain#bright vachirawit#jeff satur#mile phakphum#first chalongrat#meen nichakoon#earth pirapat#i like these very specific things about them#other things too but that's not the point of this post
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One last unpopular opinion cause I need to get it out. tell me if I’m wrong pls. Whitewashing POC characters is 100% wrong. Why is it okay to change the race or ethnicity of a POC character? I’m talking about stuff where one of the characters isn’t Japanese anymore and they’re mostly black or occasionally some other race. If they’re making a dark skinned Japanese version I get that. But why change race/ethnicity. Isn’t that wrong too? What’s your opinion on this? Not trying to start shit I swear
I guess... hm, I will try to break down my thoughts and opinions on this. i’m not claiming i’m right, i’m merely stating this as someone who literally over thinks literally everything and anything I can. please let me know if i’ve said anything wrong or offensive as i’d like to correct it because i’m not trying to offend anyone here.
when it comes to anime specifically, westerners have this very quick ability to start saying that these characters are white. as we are all damn well aware, anime is created mostly by asian creators (japanese creators to be exact) and are often depicted to be happening in japan or in some fantasy land where terms like white, black, asian reallt don’t apply. there are some anime that take place in america, & we have anime like yuuri on ice that has multiple different countries represented, but i’d say for the most part all characters are japanese.
issues come into play when, typically seen as white people on twitter who are able to pass easily as anime characters appearance simply due to skin tone color and hair color. personally, I think anime tends to throw in funky hairstyles and hair colors and eye colors not because they’re trying to claim characters as white but because japan is a largely homogeneous country and with that they tend to have similar attributes (in which I mean hair type, eye color, and hair color). the lack of color diversity can lead media to look especially dull, for lack of better words, so mangaka & anime creators make these characters have every colored hair, eyes, and sometimes make them bipoc in the world and hair type to create visual contrast, engagement, and highlight important characters.
however, we westerners are quite self centered & think if a japanese character has blonde hair and blue eyes it makes them white! meaning that should white people cosplay this blonde hair and blue eyes character it’s okay! and due to racism, whenever poc individuals — especially black cosplayers — attempt their own version, they’re attacked with how the character isn’t whatever race the cosplayer is and are overall scum bags. the character isn’t even white the mass majority of the time either so I don’t understand the anger they have over that detail except they’re racist pigs.
now, about the race bending, I think it’s because we westerners want to see ourselves within these characters. they’re like headcanons, if you will. just like you might headcanon bakugou to eventually become hard of hearing or deaf, or how you headcanon that midoriya izuku will lose all his limbs and need a robot arm and legs, these are just personal headcanons that make the character more tuned to how everyone wishes them to be.
now this is a western issue so i speak largely for america.
the underlying issue, I think, is racism. white people, whether they like it or not, have a social advantage over everyone. things will always sort of be for them, look like them, accept them. white people will never have to wonder if the newest movie coming out will have a poc lead because they tend to have it be white people. white people never have to worry about if their foundation color is in stock or even exists in the first place because the system makes it so that it’s there for them, or if not, it’s just two blocks away. white people don’t have to worry about if they will see a face that looks like them on all forms of media because european standards are whats it. we are curated in a society where we should want the lighter hair, the lighter skin, the lighter eyes, the button nose, and thin figure. & I understand that beauty standards and ideas are shifting, but if you’re unable to see that people used to shame, put down, and harass other people for having such traits before (and even still right now harass people for having the features they want as well), I guess you’re one of the naive few.
now, because in western countries, not being able to see yourself in any characters on the tv shows (with real people or animated), some people choose to simply take it into their own hands. so they take their favorite characters and decide that they’ll give it a spin to make it look like them. I don’t think anyone really bends the race and goes “damn they should really be fucking latino, what a waste they’re not!” because I really don’t think anyone’s that...intense???? that’s not the right word, but I can’t seem to find it rn. it’s simply for fun and to show other people who also don’t see themselves in these forms of media a way in!
most importantly, I think, is that when characters are turned into different ethnicities it’s other people who come out and say they’re doing it wrong & taunt them with how they would feel if they turned someone white. if i’m being especially honest, most anime characters could definitely be white in my eyes had I never known it originates from japan simply because of the way they’re drawn. they’re putting down people who are simply expanding their creativity and wanting to see a familiar face because western media continues to fail in serving its largely ethnic population.
personally, I don’t think we westerners have the right to demand more black, latino, arabic, whatever characters in anime because the fact is japan owes us nothing. we should be demanding and continuing to harass america to include poc characters because we aren’t involved in japan. (& i’m not saying that japan should just continue to serve only pure japanese characters because they do have their own intermixed population that isn’t just of japanese decent, but I think if they want us to aid their voices i’m here for it, but I won’t be the one demanding anything from a country that isn’t mine when it comes to this form of media. )
so, to me, the reason why it’s okay for poc to change the race but not white people is because racism in america lol. white people got it good on screen & the fact that it really really bothers some people is a bit scary considering the stats on how many movies and tv shows involve main white casts.
my unpopular opinion to all this, however, is I really dislike latino!sero because the spanglish people use for him makes me think that no one writing him is actually any type of latino & i’m sorta tired and a bit offended by the sexy latin lover thing. plus it sorta seems to me that my fellow latinos only use that trope because white people think it’s hot & since they carry more weight then they think; creators keep it up to seem cool or whatever idk. so it’s not my cup of tea as a mexicana 😗✌🏽
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I also think when people race bend characters to other forms of poc it’s a positive expression and something done to make people happy! but typically when the characters are bent to be “white” it’s done as an attack in a way towards poc people & not done because they want to be included in a world, ya know?
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@avatarfandompolice is a blog that likes to misuse progressive language in attempt to make ignorant, racist posts sound more intelligent than they are. While most of their blog consists of arguing about ‘zutara,’ (which I recently learned is a ship name for Zuko and Katara from an anon), there is also a large number of posts and reblogs under the premise of being “hot takes” on how unfair it is to address racism in fandom and in media.
Avatarfandompolice is very sensitive about people pointing out that Avatar: The Last Airbender is not, in fact, flawless. That a show made by two white men featuring Asian and Indigenous characters and influences is fully capable of getting things wrong. That their western colonial views are influences all on their own, and it shows. Rather than listen to fans of colour point out things like these posts for example: [Link] [Link] [Link], avatarfandompolice has decided that such things must simply be fake, and has made multiple posts complaining it. This is not just regular ignorance, this is wilful ignorance. The dismissal of critique simply because they cannot fathom not everyone being able to handle the amount of issues they are freely educating others on, or people holding the ability to like something overall while also pointing out where it could be better.
It is my firm belief that you should never absorb media with an uncritical eye. If this was the case, if people just accepted everything given to them, then we would never see any progress. We need to be able to look back at something and say here’s what we did right, and here’s what we need to do better with.
The argument that A:TLA was made in 2012 and therefore should not be analyzed with a modern understanding of the world is downright hilarious, too. As if we aren’t taught to write literature analysis on books and plays that are centuries old in school.
In particular regards to the whole cop thing... if anyone reading this seriously thinks that hate and fear of the police is just a 2020 trend, you can meet me in the pit. I was four years old when I learned how terrifying cops are. If your experiences differ, let me tell you that does not make them universal.
And as for all the 20-somethings talking about it today, well, gentle reminder that as said by avatarfandompolice right here, the show aired in 2012. Little 10-year-old kids don’t have social media, (at least I hope they don’t,) and unless they grew up experiencing first-hand police terror, probably were not aware of it at that age. I do not know why avatarfandompolice insults people's ability to grow and learn. I can only guess it’s jealously from their lack of ability to do so.
Now let’s address their defences of whitewashing, which is easily the most backwards reaching I’ve seen on this issue in a while. Primarily their defence relies on four repetitive “points” —
Fake minuscule percentages to downplay the high prevalence and extremity of whitewashing in the fandom
Deflecting the addressing of whitewashing with rapid-fire fake scenarios and claims of “reverse racism” / “blackwashing”
Claiming whitewashing isn’t real because people only care about it with Katara
Claiming that calling out whitewashing in fandom is wrong because it hurts artists
I have only so much as dipped my toes into the A:TLA fandom, and even I have seen a lot of whitewashed fan art. If you do an image search for fan art, I guarantee within the first couple rows of results, there will be in the absolute least, a few examples. The idea of these artworks not substantially lightening skin is also just plain inaccurate. Just from a quick Google search, this is literally the first result for ‘Avatar The Last Airbender Katara fan art’:
Avatarfandompolice is also hyper-focused on the lightening of skin, and seems to be under the impression that this is the only component of whitewashing. I come to this conclusion because when someone pointed out the equal prevalence of depicting these characters of colour with Western European features instead of their actual eyes, noses, etc., they rip a giant turd out of their ass and scrawl the words “but stereotyping” over it.
No, not all Asian peoples and Indigenous peoples look the same. The original poster made no such claim of this at all. Avatarfandompolice jumped to this conclusion all on their own... (which really says a lot in itself). It is entirely unrelated to the point. The point being the erasure of how these characters look, in favour of giving them whiter features. And guess what? This does hurt. But I’ll get to that below.
The lack of understanding of whitewashing is on full display when avatarfandompolice talks about “blackwashing”; the idea that colouring characters with darker skin is just like whitewashing.
Firstly, there is no such thing as “blackwashing.” “Blackwashing,” “brownwashing,” etc. does not exist because it is a false equivalency to whitewashing. It is a false equivalency to whitewashing because white people are not even in the slightest loosing representation when a white character is re-imagined as a racial minority, whereas when racial minorities are re-imagined as white people, they are taking away from what is already very little representation for us. If we lived in a world where the statistics of representation were not so drastically disproportionate, then there would be something to talk about. But if you are really wanting to support equality, you should focus on equitably supporting those who actually need it, not white people.
As for specifically depicting characters like Sokka and Katara with darker skin than what they have in the show, the same applies, (so long as it’s not racebending them as we really shouldn’t be taking representation away from each other, and the artist avatarfandompolice ridicules above has done no such thing,) because colourism also exists within nonwhite communities as well.
As for the fake questions about cosplaying, the answer is really simple: Cosplay however you want, but don’t make pretending to be a different race part of your cosplay. If you want to cosplay Katara, you can do it without painting your skin darker, aka brownface. If you want to cosplay Zuko, you can do it without editing yourself to look East Asian, aka digital yellowface. The racist history behind this is an internet search away, but I suppose that is too difficult for avatarfandompolice to do.
Avatarfandompolice has made multiple claims that people must not really care about whitewashing if they only call it out for Katara. It is laughable at best, and sad at worst, that this is the conclusion they come to, and not the fact that unfortunately Katara just happens to be subjected to more whitewashing than other characters. I assume this is from a mix of her popularity as well as being a WOC and not MOC. This is not to say that whitewashing does not exist with male characters—not in the slightest. Half the images on this “10 fan art pictures of Sokka that are just the best” list from CBR are whitewashed. Only that across fandoms, whitewashing is more prevalent in female characters, by my observations at least.
Finally—and this one pisses me off the most—avatarfandompolice claims that whitewashing is no big deal, but calling out whitewashing is too harmful to justify.
How fucking dare you put the feelings of artists who can’t handle critique of their work (that they publicly share) over fans of colour, who are constantly subjected to seeing our identities and looks not being worth respecting. As if it doesn’t imprint on your mind from a very young age how only villains ever have your facial features, because they’re ugly and I guess that means you’re ugly. As if there is something wrong with you. As if respecting you is regarded as extra effort, and not just common courtesy.
Whitewashing is a form of colourism, which is a form of racism. It is the favouritism, unconscious or not, of white features and the erasure of visible characters of colour. It is not fandom drama. It is not being too lazy to focus on “real issues” because it is part of a real issue. It is yet another part of why fandom spaces are so uninviting to POC.
We live in a society that favours lighter skin. Corporations make fortunes from selling products to bleach your skin, products to contour your features away or go as far as surgery, all to meet beauty standards set by and influenced by white colonizers. That does not exist in A:TLA, and that’s called refreshing escapism. But it’s hard to escape that when the fandom constantly reminds you otherwise. It is a perfect example of how the classic “just let people enjoy things” complaint is nothing but disguised racism, because it’s only ever said regarding white fans’ enjoyment, at the expense of fans of colour.
None of the characters in A:TLA are white. Redesigning them and recolouring them as if they are, be it out of accident or intent is wrong. If you get called out for it, apologize, learn from the experience and do better going forward. You’ll also improve your art this way.
Beyond excusing whitewashing, avatarfandompolice has overt racist posts as well. A Black fan said they like to headcanon Katara as being partially Black; “I swear Katara was a sister. Im convinced there ain't no way she didn't have some black in her.” Avatarfandompolice jumps in saying “She's literally an Inuit but ok” as if being an Inuk person means Katara can’t possibly also be Black. The OP never claimed Katara was not Indigenous, simply that they also saw her as Black. Black Indigenous peoples exist. Black Inuk peoples exist. It is overtly anti-Black to say otherwise.
But what even is the point of talking to avatarfandompolice about that? You know, you would think in trying to put such a front up of caring about the Inuit, they would do the most basic learning of the proper grammatical use of Inuit and Inuk. (As is the case with a great many Indigenous Nations, Inuit is both the Nation and plural. Inuk is singular. “An Inuit” / “Inuits” as avatarfandompolice has used just makes their dressed-up racism all the more pathetic. It’s similar to as if you said “Chinas” instead of “Chinese”.)
But all this is nothing, nothing compared to the worst post I had the displeasure of seeing. In a single post, avatarfandompolice manages to squeeze in insult against low income people, Mexican people, Jewish people, and Black people in a mockery of financial help posts.
Absolutely disgusting, childish behaviour from a place of privilege. As someone who has had no option but to make such a post before, more than once, let me fucking tell you that the embarrassment and desperation when in that situation is unparalleled. It is not done lightly. It is done when you are at the last resort of having nothing but hope that the combined generosity of others will be enough to save you and your family. And what adds a whole other level to the odiousness of avatarfandompolice’s post is that they specifically targeting low income minorities to boot. Because we’re all poor beggars, right?
All in all, for someone who prides themselves in calling others ignorant, avatarfandompolice has to be one of the most obtuse fandom blogs I have ever scrolled through. They are as vile as they are pathetic, and my sincere sympathy for anyone who has been unfortunate enough to interact with them. It has been a while since I so strongly recommend blocking someone.
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Not me making another fucking post about the lack of diversity and representation for bipoc in this fandom...oh wait yes I am. If I ruffle your feathers I don’t really give a shit.
I say this all the time because guess what, it fucking matters. This fandom needs more representation for bipoc.
It’s the fucking truth, y’know why? because while you might be comfortable reading whitewashed reader insert fics, imagine being a bipoc (Black Indigenous People of Color: As in minorities), and having to deal with being silenced your entire life. Having to deal with the lack of representation and having to sit and try your fucking best to relate to a white person even though you know for a fact you have a completely different experience than them.
Your racial identity means a lot, whether you choose to acknowledge the privileges that go hand in hand with that is up to you, you can live in your own ignorance if you choose to but some of us can’t. Some of us have to deal with the fact that we don’t have those same privileges, we don’t look like yall, talk like yall, etc and we’re constantly being treated like shit because of it-not to mention the fact that things that we’re criticized and policed for are seen as trends when white people appropriate our cultures-but that’s a rant for another day.
I’m tired of the argument that “I don’t read bipoc!reader/oc fics because I cant relate to them” because imagine being a bipoc and having to read fics constantly about white people, using predominantly white features and descriptions to describe the reader. Yet you don’t wanna read our fics because you don’t relate to our experiences...I don’t relate to being a pale white girl with straight hair but here we fucking are becky. Not to mention the fact that you’re so fucking in love with movies, books, tv shows, etc that are BEYOND UNREALISTIC but you relate to characters solely because they’re white? oh fucking kay.
Do you understand how difficult it is to find bipoc fics? Like genuinely, it’s not easy and the writers who do create these fics don’t get signal boosted, or put on rec lists, or any of that and we all have to fucking search for eachother-it’s like finding the needle in the haystack. The entire reason I wrote white boys is because I struggled to find black DARKSKINNED reader fics, and I’m a black woman but I’m not darkskinned, but I understand how hard it is to feel seen in a fandom full of fandom racism and white washing.
Sit back and think about all of the bipoc that have to constantly change words and descriptions around in fics in their heads. Just think about it for a second.
Recognize your own privileges, it is a PRIVILEGE to be represented in a positive light, to not be stereotyped constantly, and to be seen as “normal”. If you do choose to incorporate bipoc into your fics, don’t emphasize harmful stereotypes and actually do some research, ask questions to properly portray bipoc. I don’t give a fuck if it’s you writing for Kie,Pope,Kelce, a reader, an oc-people’s racial identity matters and don’t brush over it like it’s not an important factor in things. Don’t have these characters doing certain actions that emphasize shitty stereotypes.
Then let’s get into the hypocrites in this fucking fandom. Everyone who’s so huge on performative activism-liking and reblogging posts talking about the need for representation...yet their writing lacks any of that. You DONT need to write a bipoc!reader fic to actually write a genuine neutral race/ethnicity!reader fic. I’m not going to force you to do that shit, but don’t talk about how we need representation and how we need to have more neutral fics while every fic you put out emphasizes westernized beauty standards and appearances AKA white people. This shit’s not about anyone specifically, but if you think the shoe fits, wear it.
Not to mention the same people who will act as if they’re so excited to see a bipoc!reader/OC fic...don’t ever interact with them, ignore the, or ghostread them (not liking, commenting, or reblogging). Plus the people who love to talk about how much we need more Pope, Kie, and Kelce...but never write for them, never reblog fics or posts about them, never even think twice about them. You’re a hypocrite love.
When you see a bipoc!reader or even OC fic, reblog it. Signal boost it. You don’t have to fucking read it if you don’t feel like you “ReLaTe”, I understand that some people don’t read for certain characters, that’s totally normal and acceptable. But signal boost the fics so that people who don’t feel very seen in this fandom can actually experience a reader insert fic that they can relate to.
And to those who do write for Pope, Kie, Kelce, Bipoc readers/OCs please send me your work, I will signal boost the fuck out of it, if you have any rec lists please let me know.
I’m mufuckin tired yall, literally, physically, emotionally, allat I’m tired. Exhausted even.
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It's Not "Just a Hairstyle"
The best place for us to start when it comes to understanding why so many Black Folx are upset about seeing NON Black individuals rocking black hairstyles, is to first start with the history of black hair.
We need to as a whole understand that black folx were brought here to a foreign land and forced to conform to European standards of beauty. Black hair has been a fundamental part of black history.
In early African civilizations hair styles indicated tribes, family background and social status. In some tribes you would have men that went off to war wear their hair in braided styles and women in mourning would not do their hair. It was also thought that because your hair was close to the sky it worked as a channel for spiritual interaction with God.
After slavery was abolished, many black folx felt the need to have to "camouflage" in with white society in order to have better lives, better opportunities and just fit in better.
Aaryn Lynch, an exhibition producer, even stated, "Black people felt compelled to smoothen their hair and texture in order to fit in easier and move in society better."
Black folx would sit through applying hot chemical mixtures to their hair almost burning their scalps, just so they could comb it back and make it look more "European and silky".
In the 1700's Tignon laws were introduced in Louisiana. This made it mandatory for all black and biracial women to cover their hair. The reason? They were attracting too much attention and white women were not happy.
In the 1930's the Rastafari theology began in Jamaica with Marcus Garvey, a political activist that wanted to improve things for his fellow blacks. With the practice came the idea that followers were not to cut their hair and instead twist them into locs.
The 1960's during the civil rights movement is when the afro made its appearance. It was a sign of rebellion, pride and empowerment and a way to assert black identity in contrast to white fashion.
Now there are "debates" about whether or not [we] are trying to still fit in with Western beauty standards with hair extensions or weaves. The problem is that it is not a means to fit in anymore. It is used as a protective hairstyle without having to use dangerous chemicals to get the same desired look, or to help [our] hair to get stronger and healthier without having to constantly tend to it, as black hair tends to be a lot more fragile. There is no need to constantly be pulling at it or added more products to it, or having wash and dry it that can take up unnecessary time. It also helps when we want to do activities like swimming without having to redo our hair every single day.
Before I talk about WHY Non black folx should not wear black hairstyles, lets talk about the fact that California is the first state to ban discrimination based on natural hair in 2019!
April 2019 marked the time that a bill was updated to be “inclusive of traits historically associated with race, including, but not limited to, hair texture and protective hairstyles.”
Prior to this bill getting updated, it was perfectly fine for employers and schools to fire, turn down, suspend, or remove individuals for their natural hair or protective hairstyles.
Now, why is it wrong for non-black folx to wear black hairstyles? White people have never been denied basic rights because their hair looked the way it did naturally. White people have not had to sit back and hear that their hair is a "mess" or that it's "nappy" or "unprofessional" just for being curly or different from the norm. White people are not forced to get chemical relaxers in order to keep their jobs.
“For so many, many years we were told that only white people were beautiful. Only straight hair, light eyes, light skin was beautiful and so black women would try everything they could to straighten their hair and lighten their skin to look as much like white women." — Kathleen Cleaver
What people fail to understand is that these are not just hairstyles to look cute and fashionable. A lot of times these hairstyles are out of necessity. When it comes to [our] hair; black peoples hair, it is sacred. When slaves were brought over they had their heads shaven as a way to strip them of their identities because in Africa your hair could identify a persons age, marital status, religion and so much more.
Being able to wear our natural hair is a form of self love, self pride, and revolution. We are reclaiming something that was stolen from us. Having other people now trying to claim it as a trend, aesthetic or fashion, diminishes all the sacrifices we have made to get here. It diminishes everything our ancestors sacrificed to get us here. If you really wish to support black culture, do so without appropriating our culture, especially after tons of people have asked you to stop and have tried to educate you on the matter.
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Toxic masculinity-Whats wrong with our boys?
For centuries men have been condemned for acts of aggression, violence, and sexism, contributing to the ongoing popularity of the phrase ‘toxic masculinity’ which distinguishes these traits as toxic and unhealthy. The American psychological association have even recently introduced new guidelines for therapists working with both men and boys, indicating that early signs of extreme ‘traditional masculine behaviour’ can root themselves in personality traits that encourage outcomes of violence and misogyny, and must be disestablished early.
With the increase in male suicide rates and drug overdoses in the western world, combined with the rise of fourth wave feminism, as you can imagine, the debate on toxic masculinity is becoming all the more relevant amongst both genders. Mass media have blamed toxic masculinity for rape, mass shootings, online trolling, climate change and even the election of Donald Trump.
BUT is the phrase toxic masculinity actually helpful, accurate or universal? Let's discuss.
Like any phrase or term regularly recycled within gender debate, the stereotypes it highlights have divided peoples opinions drastically, a predictable conflict that has most definitely contributed to the terms rise, (Yay politics). On the right we have many conservatives who allege that the charges of toxic masculinity is itself an attack on manhood. With mental health problems amongst males consistently rising, combined with the challenges the men's right movement already face, including paternity rights, homelessness, education to name a FEW, these people argue that it is dangerous and unfair to strip boys of what some would say is a necessity for them to discover their true selves as men in their time of need.
On the other side we see many ‘progressives’ who believe that the detoxification of masculinity is absolutely essential on the road to gender equality.
NOW, i'm sure (I mean I hope) we can all agree that issues including sexism, rape, violence and so on are obviously important and anyone male or female that possess these traits and/or actively defends them, needs help! Research consistently shows that those who hold sexist attitudes are more likely to perpetrate gendered violence. (DUH), but the potential biological and cultural contributions to why these figures are disproportionate amongst men and women is not something I wish to discuss at present, that's a whole other debate.
What I do want to talk about (and what a lot of people aren't talking about) is this ‘painting every male with the same brush’ phenomenon and the extent to which this could be harmful.
My issue with the shift we have seen in which masculinity is rapidly becoming a dirty word, is that it genuinely encourages a narrative in which masculinity is fundamentally toxic.
The assumption that the majority of what can be considered as male specific characteristics, as fundamentally harmful, is becoming increasingly worrying within socialist politics. Traits such as aggression, violence and dominance are more and more often being lumped in with those such as strength, confidence and independence and this is the problem. Yes masculinity can indeed be somewhat destructive, (AGAIN VIOLENCE IS BAD VERY BAD, NON VIOLENCE GOOD VERY GOOD) but both conservative and liberal stances on this issue commonly misunderstand how the term functions.
When people use it, they tend to diagnose the problem of masculine aggression and entitlement as a cultural or spiritual illness, something that has infected today’s men and leads them to reproachable acts. But toxic masculinity itself is not a cause. Over the past thirty years, as the concept has morphed and changed, it has served more as a barometer for the gender politics of its day and as an arrow toward the subtler, shifting causes of violence and sexism.
Acts of violence, aggression and sexism arise for a whole host of reasons, including socioeconomic factors such as education, class, and poverty, NEWSFLASH, not all men that celebrate the idea of being emotionally or physically strong intend to murder and rape the entire female population!
THOUGHT EXPERIMENT TIME
How often do you see women on social media celebrating what it means to be a woman? All the time right? Now, don't get me wrong, this rise of what I'm gonna call ‘girl power culture’ is phenomenally empowering.
But how often do you see men innocently celebrate their manhood or say they are proud to be a man online in the same way?
Very rarely, and if they do they are often immediately attacked for being misogynistic and failing to recognise their privilege by Feminazi’s who fail to read context and get triggered by buzzwords.
Ooooo Controversial? Perhaps, but AGAIN, I'm not failing to recognise that things like lad culture, and boys will be boys culture exist, and perhaps this obvious difference on social media has something to do with the years of oppression against women up until very recently, in fact it probably, most certainly is, however not acknowledging the multiplicity of reasons for these toxic behaviours, and not allowing men to celebrate that they like and may even enjoy being one, in the same way as its widely excepted amongst women, is well, kinda just dumb.
Don't believe me yet? Let's look at the evidence.
First I think it is important to establish where the term originated. Despite the term’s recent popularity among feminists, toxic masculinity did not originate with the women’s movement. It was coined in the mythopoetic men's movement of the 1980s and ’90s, motivated in part as a reaction to second-wave feminism. Through male only workshops, wilderness retreats, and drumming circles, this movement promoted a masculine spirituality to rescue what it referred to as the ‘deep masculine’, a protective ‘warrior’ type masculinity, from toxic masculinity. Men’s aggression and frustration was, according to the movement, the result of a society that feminized boys by denying them the necessary rites and rituals to realise their true selves as men.
The claim of a singular, real masculinity has now been roundly rejected by a new sociology of masculinity. Led by the sociologist Raewyn Connell, this school of thought presents gender as the product of relations and behaviours, rather than as a fixed set of identities and attributes. Connell’s work describes multiple masculinities shaped by class, race, culture, sexuality, and other factors, often in competition with one another as to which can claim to be more authentic. In this view, which is now the prevailing social scientific understanding of masculinity, the standards by which a “real man” is defined can vary dramatically across time and place.
Connell and others theorised that common masculine ideals such as social respect, physical strength, and sexual potency can of course become problematic when they set unattainable standards. Falling short can make boys and men insecure and anxious, which might prompt them to use force in order to feel, and be seen as, dominant and in control, HOWEVER Male violence in this scenario doesn’t emanate from something bad or toxic that has crept into the nature of masculinity itself. Rather, it comes from these men’s social and political settings, the particularities of which set them up for inner conflicts over social expectations and male entitlement.
The popular discussion of masculinity has often presumed there are fixed character types among men, and I think it's become increasingly more important to be skeptical of this in order to understand the situations in which groups of men act, the patterns, and the inevitable consequences, because without doing so ,YOU may be contributing to the reinforcement of the toxic masculinity in which you despise so much, which brings us on to….
The blame game-are you contributing to toxic masculinity?
Where do these sexist attitudes come from? Are men and boys just the victims of cultural brainwashing into misogyny and aggression, requiring reeducation into the ‘right’ beliefs? Or are these problems more deep rooted, and created by the myriad of insecurities and contradictions of men’s lives under gender inequality? The problem with a crusade against toxic masculinity is that in targeting culture as the enemy, it risks overlooking the real life conditions and forces that sustain culture.
It is more than likely that you have somewhat contributed to the reinforcement of toxic masculinity without even realising. Something I see so often is both men and women emasculating men for being emotionally vulnerable and this specific topic is something I personally find alarming. In the same way I defend a man's right to choose how and whether he verbally expresses emotions, I strongly believe that there is work to be done to deconstruct the stigma that is attached to this, when and if they choose to do so.
In similar fashion, in the way we have fought so hard to reject female beauty standards, it's really essential that we consider the male equivalent. Don't think there is one? Ask any man under 5 foot 8, ask any bald man under the age of 30, ask any man who has been shamed for the lack of, or excess of body hair. We have to start recognising that there is a double standard, and without too much speculation, could these expectations and lack of attention we are giving them in comparison to a lot of feminist issues in mass media, be somewhat contributing to the frustration and anger that manifests into these toxic traits we have been discussing. YEAH, FUCKING PROBABLY.
Anyway, in summary what I'm saying is, in the same way that the toxic traits we subscribe to masculinity are not universal amongst all males, the solutions to those issues that we have identified within this culture, are also not universal. Recognising differences in the lives of men and boys is crucial to the effectiveness of efforts to resolve gender violence and inequality once and for all, some food for thought.
Stay kind always, Abbie x
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some thoughts on femininity
I start off with a long quote, so the whole thing is going under a cut.
There is a scene in the film The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1, where the heroine’s mentor Effie Trinket is learning to adapt to her new life in the revolutionary compound of District 13. Previously an inhabitant of the wealthy Capitol area, Trinket has been forced to leave behind her old excessive style in favour of a grey jumpsuit, a uniform worn throughout the District. Cleaned of makeup and without her frilly dresses, Trinket retains only a set of bangles which she still wears and often touches wistfully. Her fellow District 13 comrades find Trinket’s attachment to these objects absurd, and she is met with derision. This response from her revolutionary companions calls to mind Germaine Greer’s assertion that “the women who dare not go outside without their fake eyelashes are in serious psychic trouble” (1970, 325). That Trinket’s affection for feminine accoutrements makes her the focus of ridicule illustrates an important conundrum. It begs the question: should we laugh and pity the Trinkets of the world “who dare not go outside” without their feminine accessories? Are Trinket’s bracelets symbolic manacles? Or should we sit awhile, and wonder why these attachments might remain in the face of strong suggestions from others that liberation can be found in throwing such objects away? This leads to the central question: how can we consider femininity in a way that best attends to people’s experiences of, and attachment to, feminine styles?
Looking to both popular and scholarly feminist commentary over history we see that feminine styles of the body are often not merely understood as the effect of an oppressive gender system, but rather are seen to perpetuate and maintain this system. So the dominant theory goes: if a woman fails to reject those bodily expectations of the gender regime, she is part of the problem. I do not wish to deny that there are norms and expectations that shape the way that we are expected to appear and present ourselves in the world. Indeed, at times this regime is a punishing one. Women are expected to put an enormous amount of energy and money into their appearance, in order to be understood as “respectable”, “beautiful”, and “sexy”. The effort required to produce feminine aesthetics is increasingly being discussed in terms of labour (Baker 2016, 52). Furthermore,successfully achieving various looks for different contexts is no easy task. To wholeheartedly celebrate the various aspects of appearance which often constitute what is recognised as “feminine” – including makeup, clothing, hairstyling, and so on – would be to deny the daily experiences of women who are compelled to conform to particular styles in both the private and the public sphere.
For these reasons, I do not wish to celebrate femininity as something that should be seen as necessarily empowering nor inherently “good”. However, I do seek to intervene in the idea that political transformation can or should be affected at the level of appearance and identity. That is to say, I argue that femininity is not necessarily disempowering, nor inherently “bad”. Those aspects of feminine styling that may for some people feel cruel or laboursome may at other times or for other people be a source of pleasure or, indeed, may be central to their sense of identity and belonging. [...]
That gender expectations are contextual and change over history and location also reveals that it is not the specific elements of what we designate as “feminine” in appearance that are innately problematic, but rather what is arduous is being compelled to conform to expectations. While women of one era might define long dresses as oppressive, another might see miniskirts in the same way depending on the specifics of the disciplinary regime at the time. Another clear example of this is currently the colour pink, which is discussed in some detail in chapter two : pink is not inherently bad, but functions today as a symbol of girlhood. While many reject pink for the gender normativity it represents, at times the debate gets mired in making pink the problem rather than seeing the real issue as the system that merely encourages the use of pink as a signifier. [...]
--Hannah McCann, Queering Femininity: Sexuality, Feminism, and the Politics of Presentation, 2018
This is an excerpt from the introduction of a book that I was looking through, just because I was hoping it would annoy me into writing something. I have a bit of a bias against using "femininity" as a category of analysis; I fear that people are going to use this concept imprecisely, leaving it vague and relying on unspoken, preexisting connections between femininity, womanhood, and female to suggest its meaning. However, I haven't actually read much theorization on femininity or femme-ness, so I don't know for sure what this book is going to argue; I read another theoretical article on femme just before this and it seemed to be going in some interesting directions (building off other queer and feminist theorizing). But still I want to share some of the thoughts and concerns I have going into this topic, acknowledging that other people may very well be saying the same sort of thing, and that this isn't original to me.
First of all, I want to give my own, very rough working explanation of "femininity" (or at least one angle of it), which would go something like this: femininity names the quality of womanliness, or the range of physical characteristics, styles, mannerisms, interests, work, etc that are imagined to be the natural expression of womanhood. In other words, "femininity" and womanhood are tied together through an essentialist logic, one which also locates womanhood and its expression (femininity) in "the female body." (I will use "the female body" here to indicate another construction.) The reference point for all this that I'm thinking about here is specifically Western European constructions of womanhood, femininity, and the female body, and how these are constructed through race, class, ability, sexuality, and other factors.
While we've come to speak about femininity as something independent from being woman or "female"--as that which has simply been "traditionally associated" with women--I think this is the logic behind that "association." To be feminine is to be "womanly." One concern I have with using "femininity" as a analytic category is that... so long as the reference point for understanding the meaning of "feminine" is an essentialist logic of womanhood, we risk carrying over this logic uncritically, and reproducing it even where we claim to have severed it off. How can we talk about both "womanliness" as an independent expression that can be found in people of any gender and also "women" as a group that can have a full range of possible expressions?
Going back to my explanation of femininity and the broader gender logic of which its a part, another point that needs to be made is that... while ideal (meaning: white, middle-class, able-bodied, cis) women and womanliness are seen as fundamentally distinct from men and manliness, these categories are not as separate in this scheme as would appear. These values of male-man-manly and female-woman-womanly interpenetrate one another and can be quite mobile. Womanly characteristics can be found in a man; male traits identified on the female body. This mobility actually helps preserve the underlying essentialist logic. For example, we might understand a brave woman as expressing a manly characteristic, rather than questioning the notion that bravery is fundamentally male (and therefore an aberration in women) or that the real, essential man is brave. (This is touched on a little bit here, too.)
Moving on.
So, we have this introduction that starts out with considering the reception of Effie in The Hunger Games, and what Effie misses when she's in District 13, and what she's sneered at for being attached to, is identified as "femininity."
It's been a lot time since I read or watched The Hunger Games, but surely it would be accurate to say that what Effie is missing is a particular style, particular accouterments, a fashion; these are what the author here identifies as "femininity." And that's not wrong, exactly, but there are other ways of naming this. Lemme turn to a quote I saved from another book I read:
In spite of their differences in education, wealth, and social standing, most of the [Victorian] bourgeoisie resembled one another in dress, habits of speech, and deportment. Bourgeois men dressed somberly, in dark colors, avoiding any outward signs of luxury. Their clothing fit closely and lacked decoration—a symbolic adjustment to the machine age, in which elaborate dress hampered activity. It also reflected a conscious attempt to emphasize achievement-oriented attitudes, and new standards for what constituted honorable manhood. Through dress and other fashionable tastes, middle classes distinguished themselves from what they viewed as a decadent and effeminate nobility.
Bourgeois conventions regarding women’s dress were the opposite of men’s, further reinforcing gender distinctions—women’s clothing became the material symbol of male success. Extravagant amounts of colorful fabrics used to fashion huge, beribboned hoop dresses reflected the newfound wealth of the middle classes and confirmed their view of women as ornaments whose lives were to be limited to the home and made easier by servants.
--Western Civilization: Beyond Boundaries, Thomas F. X. Noble, et al., 6th ed., 2010
Ok, now this is where all my thoughts start to get scrambled together. Let's see in what order all my points will wind up.
So what appears to be happening here is the emergence of two fashion genres (to use a term from the previous femme article I read) within the white Victorian bourgeoisie. (Is that the same thing as middle class?) And these are shaped to express one of two sets of contradictory values held by the bourgeoisie. And while it's reasonable to assume that bourgeois women would also hold and reproduce these values, I expect that these social trends were largely shaped by white bourgeois men, and that both sets of values reflected their own interests. In other words, it's not that bourgeois men held one set of values and bourgeois women the other, and each were allowed to develop fashions as suited their own (singular) preferences. Rather, bourgeois men valued both somberness and display of wealth through luxury, and wished to express both, and resolved this contradiction by externalizing one of these value sets onto women. They were able to have their cake and eat it too: they could express esteemed middle-class values as a part of their manhood, while also getting the benefits of the values they decried: extravagance, excess, luxury, ornamentation--all foisted onto women, whose fashions were imagined as deriving from an essential womanly disposition that naturally gravitated to such qualities. I.e. women's femininity.
AND LEAST THAT'S HOW I'M READING THIS. I haven't looked into the development of these fashions beyond the quote from the book. So, if that's correct.
The use of The Hunger Games to illustrate the reception to women's attachment to "feminine" styles is odd, because the fashions of the Capitol must also be sharped by class values. Popular fashion in the Capitol appears to be characterized by exaggeration, excess, and flamboyance, a display of luxury which resonates with what the Capitol represents in the series.
HOWEVER. The Capitol does not seem to have markedly distinct genres of fashion for men and women. Let me qualify that. Just looking at these pictures, the few men who appear are less... excessive, but still notably flamboyant. (Two more examples.) It's been quite a while since I read the books or watched the movies, so I don't remember exactly how gender appeared to be constructed in the Capitol. But I'd posit that the difference in degree of excess between men and women here results from the fact that these fashions are built on the base of real-world fashions, where those for men and women have had different trajectories. Perhaps we could say, though, that the same basic concept lies behind all fashion in the Capitol, and imagine that the spirit behind Suzanne Collins' vision of the Capitol might be more "ideally" represented by a world where the forms of Capitol fashion were not gender-specific.
In that case, extravagant fashion is not specifically womanly. It might make more sense to speak of Effie not as missing the accouterments of "femininity," but more specifically the accouterments of a fashion characterized by exaggeration, excessive ornamentation, or however we might describe it. These fashions might be intimately tied to her identity and sense of embodiment, without primarily being understood as an expression of a uniquely womanly quality. Where, then, does the concept of "femininity" fit into it?
Moving on from The Hunger Games, the suggestion I'd like to make is that, rather than using a vague notion of "femininity," we attempt to be more precise in naming the contents of "femininity." By utilizing categories like "extravagance" or "flamboyance" (or perhaps other, better terms), we can uproot the characteristics that make up "femininity" from their presumed location in womanly nature. We can connect them as well to “manly” expressions of these same qualities, and perhaps note a range of similarities and differences in how they are socially received depending on the gender, race, class, etc of the subject in which they appear. This is not to say that we should ignore how certain things are gendered, or how people do in fact adopt certain styles as a way to express or embody their gender. This can/should still be part of the analysis. But expanding the repertoire of categories used to name what we mean by "femininity" might help us avoid over-determining the significance of gender, which can be a pitfall when the subjects under consideration are viewed as markedly gendered. (I complained about an example of this.)
(I suppose I'm basically describing a method of analysis that evacuates the category of femininity. I remember once, in a discussion of Buddhism, the concept of non-self (anatta) was illustrated by saying "a flower is made up entirely of non-flower parts." In this case, "femininity" or womanliness is made up entirely non-woman(ly) parts. So what are those parts?)
I also want to comment on something McCann said in the last paragraph of that first quote. She said that the elements designated as "feminine" are not innately problematic, but become so when they are compelled to be adopted. I’d agree that it’s a problem when these elements are compulsory (especially if they tend to require greater time, labor, expense, and self-monitoring to embody). However, the contents of "femininity" may in fact be problematic within the social context in which they are developed. Returning to that second quote, the ornateness of bourgeois women's fashion was problematic in its own right because it contradicted another, more centrally affirmed set of bourgeois values.
Now, I'm not sure what is the best way to name the characteristics that are identified as "feminine," but one common complaint against certain "feminine" clothing or processes is that they are impractical and unnecessary. And when women specifically are compelled to adopt styles that are impractical for a wider range of situations, it makes sense to complain about that. However, what may be needed to defuse tensions around "femininity" is not just a rethinking of the meaning or value of womanhood (e.g. what women "should" look like), but also a rethinking of the value of “impracticality.” A rethinking of forms of expression (and the labor they entail) that serve no purpose other than meeting an aesthetic or bodily goal, one which may be attained at the expense of practicality, efficiency, or frugality.
At the same time, even here we can't look at this question outside the interlocking context of sexism, misogyny, racism, classism, et al, since these determine which forms of expression that might in fact be impractical (toward a certain goal) actually get identified as impractical or unnecessary. It just goes to show how multiple approaches are needed, since these phenomena are complex.
Fin.
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Wait, what’s gay lingo? Like, what does twink, bear, etc. mean?
I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED!
Before I get into actually defining these terms, I’d like to write about a few things:
So this is probably in reference to this post I made. Not to explain the joke to death, but that’s exactly what I’m about to do. I wanted to make fun of how people who aren’t mlm think they know what mlm terms like “twink” and “bear” mean and how they blatantly use them incorrectly everywhere, because they think they’re funny (bc gay men are a joke, right? //sarcasm), or because it makes them look “woke”. It’s an idea I had for the longest time when I saw something a str8 woman wrote about Zac Efron being a twink, in the present. Like yes, Zac Efron was a twink, past tense, but he is absolutely not a twink anymore (if you can even call a str8 man a twink). And she also implied that being a twink is something you can’t outgrow, which is laughable, because it’s kind of a meme among gay men that being a twink is something you grow out of whether you like it or not.
This mostly seems to be a problem among cishet women, since cishet men tend to be too concerned with their “masculinity” to touch gay culture. But since this is tumblr and virtually none of you are cishet, a lot of the times I’ve seen people misuse these terms on this site were LGBT+ people who weren’t themselves mlm. In those cases, the reasons seem more that these people are just misinformed, and they use these terms because mlm use these terms, and we share a community. Part of it comes from the fact that wlw might see the terms “twink” and “bear” as analogous to “femme” and “butch” respectively, which is not true in the slightest (Butch and femme are their own complex thing. What they actually have in common with twink and bear is that few outside their communities actually know what they mean lol). Another reason might be that other LGBT people see mlm using these terms sarcastically and think they’re being used in earnest; if an actual gay man calls a bodybuilder a twink, he’s probably being sarcastic, and also probably trying to insult him (which is a whole can of worms I’ll open up in a bit).
I’m gonna try to define what “twink”, “bear”, and a couple of other terms actually mean, as well as give a little bit of context to how they’re used and controversy surrounding these identities within gay spaces, partially based on my experience as a gay man and partially based on casual research. I’m just one gay man, and I’m not an expert in queer studies or anything, so take from that what you will. I hope this will be useful to mlm who are just discovering their identities and exploring their sexuality/gender, who are new to the community, and I also hope to inform our siblings elsewhere in the LGBT community. This info could also be useful to cishet allies, although please be mindful of your intentions in using these terms.
Anywho, lets get to the definitions:
A twink is a young, smooth, slim mlm. The definition here is generally seen as being pretty strict on those 3 criteria, although “twink” is sometimes used for older mlm who are skinny and don’t have much body hair. Those last two criteria are the most important, because there are other categories for mlm that fit one of the criteria; an otter is essentially twink + bodyhair, and there’s a whole host of other words for other body types.
The definition of “bear” is a little more flexible than “twink”, although it generally comes down to the inverses of those same 3 criteria. The most important of these is the bodyhair requirement; any definition you find of bear includes something about being hairy. Almost as important as bodyhair is body type, although “bear” covers a slightly larger range than twink in that regard. Usually, “bear” indicates that someone is large or plus-sized, although it can also sometimes be used to describe someone who is muscular in the sense that they are beefy (if you can see a 6 pack, he’s probably not a bear). It’s also sometimes associated with being slightly older, but that’s not nearly as important, and “bear” can refer to any age. The term “cub” refers to mlm with the same body type as a bear, but who are smooth and young.
Now, let’s get into some misconceptions/controversies surrounding these terms. The first of these is that twink and bear are the only two options, and that all mlm fall into one of these two categories, or that other terms are simply variations on those two main terms. This misconception is really only one held by people who aren’t mlm themselves (or are, but are only just learning the terminology). These terms are extremely specific, and the fact of the matter is that the vast majority of mlm don’t fit into either of these categories. And that’s ok! There are a ton of other words mlm use to describe themselves. I’ve already mentioned “otter” and “cub”; there’s also “jock”, which refers to muscular mlm; “wolf”, which also refers to muscular mlm, but specifically hairy ones (with a bit of overlap with the “beefier bears” I mentioned earlier); the relatively new term “twunk” which you may know from this video as “a combination twink and hunk”; and many many more. In addition, all of these categories are really just physical descriptions of your body, and don’t have any bearing on anything else. You don’t need to fit into any of them.
That being said, there are a number of stereotypes associated with these terms, and it is important to address them.
Our next misconception is one that’s as common among mlm as as it is among everyone else: that twinks are by definition fem, and bears are by definition masc. “Masc” and “fem”, short for masculine and feminine respectively, come with their own host of problems, and that is a can of worms that I am not going to open up right now. This post is long enough as it is. If you want the sparknotes version of the controversy surrounding the masc-fem dichotomy, it basically boils down to misogyny, transphobia, and internalized homophobia. But back to twinks and bears: I would like to assume that it’s obvious that your body type or bodyhair has absolutely no impact on your personal presentation of gender. There are plenty of fem bears and masc twinks. But unfortunately, most people don’t seem to get this. And this super important, because the gendered way we think of these terms affects everything else I’ll be talking about in the remainder of this post.
My next point, which is really and observation based on my experience in the gay community, is that bear as a term seems to be much less… loaded. However, being a twink myself, there might be a gap in my personal experience, so any bears feel free to correct me. However, from what I’ve seen, “bear” isn’t really used as an insult in the way “twink” is. Which is a bit of a miracle, considering how prevalent fat-shaming is in the gay community. From what I’ve seen, bear isn’t a term that’s forced on you, it’s a term that bears choose for themselves, almost always in a positive way. It’s a term associated with body positivity, and bear communities seem to be much less toxic than the gay community as a whole. Even when it’s used to describe someone else, it’s always a neutral statement of fact. I don’t think I’ve ever seen it used as an insult, or even sarcastically. The worst I’ve seen of it is that it’s used as a porn category, which contributes to the fetishization of fat people; but then again, twink and jock are also porn categories, so it would be weird for bear not to be. This isn’t to suggest that bears are treated better than anyone else in the gay community, if anything they’re treated worse; just that the word “bear” itself has neutral to positive connotations. (Again, any bears correct me on this if you’ve seen it used negatively!)
Twink, on the other hand, is absolutely used as an insult, and frequently. And while this may sometimes be harmless, more often than not it’s really problematic. If you’re plus-sized and you use twink as an insult in the same vein that Nicki Minaj said “fuck the skinny bitches”, that’s completely fine. Twinks are seen as being desirable (if they behave a certain way; more on that later), so effectively it’s punching up instead of punching down. However, a good 95% of the time that “twink” is used as an insult, it really comes from one of the many stereotypes that all essentially boil down to the idea that twinks are fem. And the idea that being fem is inherently bad and insult worthy is, once again, rooted in misogyny, transphobia, and internalized homophobia.
This association between twinks and femininity also has a lot of scary implications on the beauty standards twinks are held to. I’ve noticed that twinks fill a niche in the gay community that is similar to the role cis women are supposed to fill in western culture as large, and that we’re only seen as sexually valuable if we perform the same behaviors and meet the same beauty standards that are typically reserved for women. We’re bottoms by default, submissive both in and out of the bedroom (yes I actually am a sub bottom, but that’s beside the point). We’re supposed to maintain a completely smooth, hairless appearance; a shaved ass is the bare minimum of hygiene. I once met a guy on grindr who demanded that I be completely hairless everywhere beneath my eyelashes, and while that’s a bit extreme, he was by no means an outlier. Just today I talked to a guy who wanted me hairless between my neck and knees. We’re often seen as vapid and stupid, and infantilization of twinks is rampant (some guys put way too much emphasis on the young part of the definition). And, to cap it all off, there’s the racism! Who’d’a thunk that all forms of oppression are connected? (sarcasm). Twinks can of course be any race, but the ones you’ll see men on grindr going after the most are white or light-skinned Asian twinks. Combine that with stereotypes of Black, Latino, and Middle Eastern men as dominant and aggressive, and you have a whole slew of white supremacist ideas painted over with a thin coat of gay porn. (mlm of color who’d like to add or correct me on anything, please do so!)
I’ll end this already long post with a comparatively brief discussion on who these terms apply to. Basically, if you’re an mlm and you fit the definition of “twink” or “bear”, congratulations! You’re a twink/bear! “Can bi men use these terms?” Of course! “What about trans men?” Are you attracted to men and male-aligned people? Then of course! That last one might be controversial to some cis gays, and to that I say fuck right off. However, it does get a bit muddier with trans women and transfem nonbinary people and the word twink. Trans women are absolutely not mlm, but many of them have been a part of mlm communities for a long time, often before they even realized they were trans, and some may be reluctant to give up the word twink (I haven’t seen this for bear, although again, lmk if you’ve seen evidence to the contrary). And on top of that, a lot of cis men looking to have sex with trans women conflate trans women and cis twinks. Because remember what I said about twinks filling the niche of women? It’s often a niche they share with trans women, except trans women have it even worse, because they are actually women. My two cents is, if a trans woman wants to refer to herself as a twink, she’s more than welcome to. Just don’t go around calling trans women “twinks” unless they specifically say you can; it’s a gendered term, you are misgendering them, and, once again, you can fuck right off. (trans women also please comment if you want!)
Well, anon, I bet you weren’t expecting a post this long. At least I hope y’all learned something! Be gay do crimes!
#mlm#twink#bear#gay#lgbt#lgbtq#lgbt+#lgbtq+#gay culture#ask#anon#sfw#long post#transphobia //#misogyny //#racism //#fatphobia //
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Silver Threaded Lining -Day 6 | Blind Date / Setup- (Best Jeanist x f!Reader)
Summary: Working at a news station had its perks- and one of them included being friends with a popular newswoman. When asked to take her place in a blind date, you were skeptical but wanted to help her out, accepting the request in the end. Neither of you had any idea what was in store for you once you arrived at the venerated Chateux de Joel Robuchon.
Note: Ship and reader requested by Every.man.at.midnight on Ao3!!! Also, this reader insert is… definitely a more larger than life one. Like, it’s probably not really relatable, but hopefully it’s still one that can suspend your beliefs. The reasoning for this is that I wanted to take into consideration the type of person Best Jeanist is, and this is what I came up with and what felt most intuitive to me. Also, I’m tempted to write a sequel or turn this into a series? Just because it’s … so… fantastical and extra? Let me know what you guys think. Hopefully I didn't butcher his character since this is my first time writing for him.
Theme Song: Tell Me Baby - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Reader: Female (requested)
Words: 2908
Tell me baby, what's your story…
Working as a makeup artist was one of your greatest pleasures. You got to mess around with different palettes, special effects, and meet people from all walks of life. Professionally, you were employed by one of the top news stations, which gave you the opportunity to work on celebrities and heroes. And for fun, you ran a special effects channel with a fairly sizeable following and sponsorships from various makeup brands. Life was pretty solid and good, though you were too busy to focus on every aspect of it. With your work and social life booming, it was only natural that your personal and romantic life were neglected.
“Say, (Y/N), are you free tomorrow night?” one of the news anchors asked as you worked on her makeup. Her eyes were closed and brows raised, so you couldn’t make out much of an expression as you applied some shadows, but you two were fairly close and you could be honest with her. In the workplace, she was basically your best friend.
“Yeah. Why do you ask?”
“Well… could I ask you for a huuuge favor? Please? I’ll seriously owe you one.”
You paused from her makeup, cuing the newswoman to open her eyes and look at you. She was faced with a somewhat worried and skeptical expression as you inquired more.
“What trouble did you get into?”
“It’s not trouble!” she quickly defended herself before sighing and closing her eyes so you could resume your work. “It’s just… One of my friends set me up on a date, but I’ve been talking to this guy from SVME a lot lately and I think we’re hitting it off really well, so... I don’t really wanna go on this date. But, you’re single and pretty and talented and, like… I think that whoever my friend’s got waiting for this date is gonna be a great person and maybe even a good fit for you. It’s someone she’s trying to set me up with, so… it’s not like I mean any disrespect, y’know? I’m just asking for a favor, one girl to another. I’ll make it up to you, I promise. Please?”
You listened to her argument, meticulously applying false lashes and then blending it into the eyeliner so it looked flawless. Taking a step back, you looked at her face to make sure it was symmetrical and up to standard.
“You have no idea who the guy is?” you sighed, giving away that you were seriously considering it. You wanted to help her out, and it’d been about a year since your last date because you were just sick of bothering when you had other things to do, like manage a successful channel on top of working.
“Not at all. She just promised I wouldn’t be disappointed. So… hopefully you won’t be either?”
With a sigh, you told her to open her mouth so you could apply lipstick. “...Alright,” you agreed. “What are the details?” She went into everything she knew- time, location, and expectations- and promised to reimburse you for any money you’d potentially have to spend. You nodded, simply noting everything.
The following night came, and you gave yourself a final look over before leaving. Your makeup was perfect and set, you weren’t worried about your lipstick fading or distorting with dinner, the dress you picked was elegant, flattering, and trendy, and the heels you wore were both fashionable and comfortable. You were aces. The friend you were doing this favor for sent you a car that would take you to your destination, and without time for a moment’s hesitance, you were chauffeured to the rendezvous.
From the moment you arrived, you were treated no less than royalty. As soon as the car pulled up, a valet opened the door for you. “Bonsoir, Mademoiselle. Bienvenue au Chateux de Joel Robuchon,” (“Good evening, Miss. Welcome to Chateux de Joel Robuchon,”) he greeted you with a bow, gesturing towards the western inspired establishment with an immaculate white glove. You smiled politely at him with a small nod of your head, stepping out gracefully. The valet closed the door behind you, the car leaving a second after, and you were left with a small walk across the elegant courtyard to the four-story building. When you arrived, the doors were opened for you once again, and you were greeted with a fusion of elegant French and Japanese hospitality and grace.
It really was like being in a castle. A host came to meet you and took your jacket, while a hostess guided you to the second level where the restaurant and lounge operated. She asked what name the reservation was under, and you gave her your friend’s. With a smile, the hostess suggested you help yourself to a drink at the Rouge Bar while you waited, as you were the first to arrive. Finding that agreeable, you were escorted to an elegant, more than fully equipped and stocked lounge. It was dark with warm, golden lighting that made the red walls something sensual and alluring, rather than loud or intimidating. Black leather furniture beckoned you to take a seat wherever you pleased, and you were promptly met by a waiter offering a drink menu. You ordered a light wine to sip at while you waited for your mystery date, and gazed around the bar. At least it was going to be easy for him to figure out who he was meeting- you were the only lady waiting alone.
As you reclined and sipped, you noticed some of the patrons’ behaviors change. Eyes were skirting to and from the entrance and voices hushed themselves. You managed to hear a woman whisper to another, “Oh my goodness, is that… That’s Best Jeanist!” The temptation to turn around and see the hero for yourself was great, but your dignity and pride were greater, so you didn’t flinch or move to follow everyone else’s gaze. Bringing the wine glass to your lips, you tasted it once again before noticing the curious eyes beginning to fall on you.
“Miss (Y/N)?”
You knew that voice- you knew it from countless interviews, and having met the hero once when he appeared on your news channel. Of all the makeup artists, you were the lucky one who got to powder and touch up his already faultness face. With fluid timing, you blinked while gracefully turning your head to the speaker, eyes opening with an almost hypnotic look. A single green eye received yours, its match hidden beneath fastidiously combed and treated blond hair. His expression was covered by a square silk scarf that was both tasteful and contemporary, complimenting his navy three piece suit. It was no wonder this man was at the forefront of men’s fashion.
“Best Jeanist.” You acknowledged him by his hero name, a calm and sweet smile on your lips. Although you couldn’t see it, you hoped he was smiling from the way the corners of his eyes seemed to just barely move. The hero bowed to you, his hand extended to help you stand, creating a scene that was almost impossible to believe- both to you and those spectating. Delicately, you lifted your hand from the wine glass and placed your fingertips into his palm. With nimble finesse, his fingers curled behind yours, thumb gently crossing over your knuckles as you rose to your feet, and then respectfully let go as you thanked him.
Your thoughts raced as you two were escorted to your table. How could your friend pass this up? On top of that, how did she not know that she was going on a date with Best Jeanist? And who was her friend that was able to convince the No. 3 Pro Hero to even go on a blind date? You had so many questions that were going to be answered the next time you saw her.
A new elegance welcomed you as you two entered Joel Robuchon Restaurant. Dreamy gold lighting and draperies warmed the walls while black dominated everything else. Tables were blanketed in a silky black cloth, their legs just as dark and matching the chairs that framed them. Polished and shining black vases and centerpieces decorated the tables while the flowers, accents, and plates were a stark and contrasting white. It was beautiful and even surreal- especially for a first date, set up or not.
Agreeing on the 6-course specialty menu and a bottle of wine to share, the date began smoothly. You both expressed your preferences and were pleasantly surprised to share some similar tastes, needing to compromise on very little. Starting off this way allowed an immediate familiarity to develop between you two, the conversation becoming more natural and effortless as a result. He made you smile and you made him laugh, all before the bread basket arrived. Even though you were sitting across from the revered Fiber Hero, you didn’t feel any pressure or unease. It honestly felt like you two were on the same page, the same level, in the same ballpark, and just… equal. Already, there was a foundation of mutual respect laid down, and he even asked you to call him by his name as you two worked through the six plates, taking your time and getting to know each other.
“So how is your recovery coming along?” you asked him in a soft voice with genuine concern and interest. Everyone knew the damage he took from All For One and that he would be resting for an unknown but extended period of time.
“Quite well,” he answered professionally. Although he’d been looking at you all night, his gaze became a bit sharper at your question. It wasn’t that he was soured by it, but you could tell it was something he was fairly guarded about. He was able to walk and move, yet there must have been more limitations than before.
“Is that the newsroom answer?”
The hero chuckled at your perceptiveness, making you hope again that he was smiling afterwards. Your imagination was vividly curious of what it would look like, but that was something even you weren’t bold enough to ask yet.
Offering your own smile to him, you carried on gracefully, unaffected by the closed off topic. “I’m glad that you’ve recovered as much as you already have, and look forward to seeing you back in action,” you supported. “I think only the greatest heroes could survive and recover from such grave injuries. It really shows you have so much you want to live for.” Your sincerity softened that steeled look he gave you, and eased away the faint tension that came with it.
“Thank you, (Y/N).” His voice was casual again. Even with the composed and dignified way that he spoke, you were able to pick up the differences between his relaxed and formal speeches. “Experiences like this are rather humbling, for better or worse. They remind us all that heroes, too, are human.”
“Had you forgotten that you were, Hakamata?” There was something coquettish in your voice, bolstered by the confidence you had in catching the nuances he expected to slip through.
“It’s easy to forget,” he responded, meeting your coyness with his own. “I am greatly honored to be a widely received hero and icon- as accessible as the availability and handiness of denim itself. Such responsibilities require a near superhuman balance in life.” The way he spoke of his popularity was anything but arrogant, showing that he took this all very seriously. It wasn’t simply a job or profession- being a hero was an identity that everything else conformed to. “In its own way, the time necessary to heal is a kindness.”
His words were enchanting with the way he spoke. Each syllable was magnetic, tempting you closer to the person across from you not as a hero, but as a man. Your conversation was scarcely interrupted by the restaurant’s staff, plates coming and going as if phantoms were providing them. In this moment, there was only him in your field of view. “How so?”
“It’s the only reason a moment like this is possible right now,” he explained with a foreign glint in his eye. You couldn’t help but wonder if that was what it would look like if eyes could smile. “While we’ve met once before, it was brief and strictly business. Wouldn’t you agree this time is a benevolent result of my injuries?”
Your lips pulled back as you chuckled softly, your cheeks lifting with a smile as you blushed and averted your eyes. For the first time tonight, he charmed you, and he did it without relying on fame or prestige. Seeing a break in the conversation, the attentive wait staff approached your table, retrieving the empty plates and bowls, pouring the last of the bottle of wine for you two, and then presenting you with a dessert trolley that could rival entire bakeries and chocolatiers. An espresso list accompanied the sweets, and you two ended up with the same order, save for a minor detail in your truffles. One was accented by raspberries, and the other by thin orange slices.
“Only in part. This was also the work of our friends, wasn’t it?” you teased him with a mirthful smirk.
“That’s true,” he agreed, explicitly acknowledging for the first time that this was a blind date. “However, no amount of planning could make two unwilling people meet in circumstances like this. Close encounters are perhaps the strongest reminders that, as humans, we seek a love and intimacy beyond praise and fame. And if I may be candid, (Y/N), I’m honored to have been recommended to you. It may seem silly, but… I do place trust and faith in a close friend’s suggestion.”
Once again you blushed, closing your eyes this time as you took a sip of your cappuccino. He was more of a gentleman than you expected- and you certainly had high expectations for such an exemplary hero.
“I take it you’re skeptical of those you meet on your own?” The question was rhetorical. “I suppose you’d have to be; there must be a plentitude of people with ulterior motives seeking your attention and affection.” You placed your cup in its saucer, your hands coming together in your lap afterwards as you sat ladylike with a sweet smile on your face despite the seriousness of your words. “For what it’s worth, I had no idea who I’d meet tonight. When you offered your hand, it felt like a dream- this whole date has.”
At last, you could tell with certainty that Best Jeanist was actually smiling beneath that silk scarf. His handsome expression was as joyous as it was composed, and you were proven very wrong in believing he couldn’t become more of a heartthrob.
“If we continued meeting, would I be able to convince you reality was better than a dream?”
You were stunned by the smoothness of his words. As a rule of thumb, you were exceptionally skeptical of charismatic men, but you made an allowance for the one across from you tonight. While others came off as womanizers and playboys, Hakamata seemed knightly and trustworthy. After all, the whole of Tokyo trusted him with their lives- including you.
“I would love to find out.”
As you two finished dining, the bill was directly handed to the hero. You offered to pay, or at least cover part of it, but his kind eyes and voice told you there was no need, and the expenses were already taken care of. He took the bill, and you could make out that it seemed like some sort of letter before he folded it and slipped it into his breast pocket. Standing, he opened his hand to you once again and guided you to take hold of his arm as he escorted you downstairs. You two walked with a closeness that evolved over the course of your extravagant dinner, and he waited patiently for you as you received your jacket before escorting you outside.
Before getting close enough to signal the valet to open the door, Best Jeanist stopped with you. His arm shifted so that your hand fell into his as you turned to face him. “May I see you again, (Y/N)?”
Your eyes gazed into his and noticed that his hair was pulled back just enough to allow you to see them both. You couldn’t help but grin a bit widely, your teeth just barely showing as you nodded. “Yes,” you answered in what only came out as a whisper. That unmistakable joy gleamed in his eyes at your response, and you two exchanged personal contact information. When it was all saved, he finished walking you to the familiar car that awaited. Just as you were about to sink into your seat, your date brought your hand towards his lips, his other coming up to the scarf and lowering it just enough so he could give it a proper kiss, covering his face afterwards as he brought his eyes to yours.
“Thank you for this wonderful night. I look forward to the next.”
You blushed as you thanked him in return, the door closing soon after and the driver taking you back home. This was a night you’d never forget, and the idea of future ones with him quickened your heart.
… You’re so lovely, are you lonely?
#bnha#bnha fanfic#bnha fic#bnha fanfiction#boku no hero academia#boku no hero academia x reader#bnha x reader#mha fanfic#mha fic#mha fanfiction#mha#my hero academia#my hero academia x reader#mha x reader#best jeanist#best jeanist x reader#best jeanist fluff#hakamata#hakamata tsunagu#hakamata x reader#valentine's day#valentines day#valentine's day countdown#valentine's day prompt#valentines day prompt#valentine's day writing prompt#writing prompt#blind date#set up date
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As a child entering primary school, I struggled figuring out what it meant to be Canadian. It was a somewhat amorphous word, and besides standing up for the anthem every morning and seeing the red and white flag wave in the school parking lot, I really didn’t know what qualified as Canadian. But as I was exposed to different people and different ideas throughout my childhood, I figured out quickly that the primary criteria one needed to fill to be Canadian was this: whiteness.
The Construct of Whiteness
Now, when I say ‘white’, I’m not talking about Caucasians. It’s important we understand that whiteness is a highly politicized construct that doesn’t apply to all people who have light skin. There are plenty of Caucasians — say, people from the near and middle east — whose skin tones vary greatly, but who for all intents and purposes, are not white.
This is because the concept of whiteness is not necessarily one of skin colour (although it can be), but rather, a concept of power. For example, although in North America we may consider Polish and Ukrainian immigrants to be ‘white’, they are heavily racialized in Britain and other Western European countries. South-eastern European immigrants from Serbia, Bosnia, Macedonia and Albania are considered undesirable in Switzerland compared to immigrants from Western and Northern European countries.
A Macedonian acquaintance with a master’s degree in electrical engineering, whose husband was living and working in Switzerland, was not granted residency until she acquired a non-Macedonian passport. Her family had some roots in non-Balkan countries, so she was able to leverage this, and after two long years living away from her husband, she was finally granted entry into Switzerland.
My point here is that whiteness is relative and often used to establish power dynamics. If you are the child of immigrants, as I and at least a third of my classmates were, you weren’t really Canadian, but something in between. It was like being the adopted child in a well-to-do family that constantly reminded you that your birth parents weren’t respectable enough to keep you. The more obviously different your parents were — perhaps through their appearance, dress, or way of speaking — the more you were coded as foreign, and by extension of that, privileged to be in Canada.
The Trauma of Migration
My parents left their country of birth in the 1980s, when my father anticipated its collapse in the years to come. I was born once they’d already settled into Canadian society, but from the moment I had enough self-awareness to read social cues, I knew we were different.
My mom wasn’t like the other moms. When my classmates got picked up from school, I saw women with straight, shoulder-length hair — usually blonde or light brown, sometimes with highlights. They wore fashionable clothing, clutched fancy purses with manicured nails, and masked their imperfections with flawless makeup.
But my mom didn’t care about fashion. She wore the same sets of clothing day in and day out and carried a giant, ratty old leather bag wherever she went. She had untamed, curly black hair and olive skin, spoke English with a harsh accent, rarely painted her nails, and hardly ever wore makeup.
Now, you might wonder what hair dye, makeup, and fashion have to do with whiteness. Generally, there isn’t much of a relationship; anyone can choose to look and dress a certain way.
However, when you’re born to parents who left a politically tumultuous homeland, you very quickly realize they suffer from a kind of survivor’s guilt. They carry shame for having abandoned their own parents and siblings for what they believed would be a better life. They don’t believe they deserve to have nice things, or that they can afford them (even when they can).
Every moment is haunted by the potential of loss. Tomorrow could be the day they lose everything, so nothing of excess is ever worth wasting precious resources on.
Simply put, many immigrants are traumatized by the very act of migration.
Often, immigrants struggle with economic and social disadvantage. Many immigrant families simply don’t have the luxury to look nice, and so for the immigrant child, even superficial things like clothing, nail polish, makeup, and hair dye on certain bodies can become important signifiers of not just class, but also whiteness.
My mother was too stressed and overworked, alienated and depressed to care about fashion. She didn’t have any friends and felt uncomfortable with white women — partly for cultural reasons, and partly because of her accent. In fact, she was so self-conscious about her accent, she didn’t speak a word of English to me until I went to kindergarten. She didn’t want me to learn English from her because she was afraid I’d learn her accent, so she instead waited until I could learn ‘proper’ English from my teachers and classmates.
Her goal was to make sure that I was assimilated and that I fit in at all costs, and this desire was directly informed by her own feelings of alienation in Canadian society. Whatever differences I observed between her and the other moms must have been amplified ten-fold for her.
But I learned that my mom wasn’t the only one who was different. I was different too, and I struggled relating to other kids. I wasn’t exposed to the same media and culture that they were. I didn’t wear the same clothes, eat the same food, and I didn’t tell the same jokes, anecdotes or stories. It became very clear that I was a foreigner, even though I was living only a few kilometers from the hospital I’d been born in.
A Chimera Trying to be a Chameleon
When I was seven years old, I had my first play-date with a white classmate — let’s call her Karen. Karen’s family was some nth generation Canadian, with a clear family tree of every ancestor from the past few centuries. Karen had stunning, pale blue eyes and strawberry blonde locks that I desperately yearned for. During summer, I’d spend hours in the sun hoping that my dark hair would lighten.
“Am I turning blonde yet?” I’d excitedly ask my mother after spending a day in Karen’s yard.
Yet all that accomplished was sunburns for Karen and brown skin for me.
“Oh my God, you look like a Sri Lankan!” Karen’s mother and aunt laughed when they saw me.
At the time, I didn’t know that Sri Lankan was an ethnicity. I didn’t know what the comment meant or why it felt bad, but I had the impression that there was something funny or embarrassing about how dark my skin had turned seemingly overnight. There shouldn’t be anything embarrassing about looking like a certain ethnicity, but the tone with which I’d been told made me feel like I was somehow wrong.
Although I always knew my ethnicity, I didn’t learn about my muddled racial heritage until much later. I know that I am mixed race, but I’ll never know the extent of it, because imperial legacy does a wonderful job of erasing records and lineages.
While most people of Western European descent have the luxury of knowing where their ancestors are from — which great-grandparent was German, French, or British — people whose ancestors hail from Africa, the Middle East, or the Balkans can only speculate based on limited records and oral history.
Where there is empire, there is a deep loss for the children who are born after that empire crumbles. We want to know our roots. We want to know what our heritage is and where we belong. All I know is that I have diverse roots that have molded me into someone who is sometimes coded as white, and sometimes as something else.
The Universal Woman is White
These were my first encounters with soft racism, but even as they happened, I learned that there was far worse. I didn’t think what was happening to me was racism. As a kid, I assumed racism could only happen to black people, because everyone in my predominantly white neighbourhood seemed to have opinions about black people.
I remember overhearing Karen’s mother say that she would never want her son to date a black woman.
“They’re aggressive,” she argued, “and their butts look weird.”
“Really?” Karen’s aunt replied. “I think they have gorgeous bodies — such nice curves.”
In this brief exchange I had been exposed to two immensely toxic ideas:
First, that what mattered in a woman before all else was how well she conformed to white standards of beauty; and second, that black women are either dangerous and to be avoided, or exotic objects to be fetishized.
Of course, I didn’t have the language I do now to describe these ideas, but it would be a lie to say I didn’t understand them. Even as a third grader, I knew implicitly what these statements meant, and they affected how I understood myself as a girl and an immigrant, and how I understood other women of colour.
It entrenched in me an unconscious drive to be as white as possible. Until I was in my late teens, I kept dying my hair blonde, dieting, and begging my mother to let me wear coloured contacts. I wasn’t intentionally trying to whitewash myself, but I had internalized the standards of white beauty to such a degree that I genuinely believed I would look better with Keira Knightley’s frame, blonde hair, and green eyes.
And yet through it all, whenever someone asked me if I was white, I’d balefully reply that I was, in fact, beige.
***
I mentioned in an earlier piece, A Critique Privilege, Oppression, and Other Such Loaded Concepts, that calling myself ‘beige’ became my way of creating a space for myself. I knew from an early age that ‘white’ didn’t fit. But I also didn’t identify with any of the more established minorities in my neighbourhood. Rather, I occupied an ambiguous space where my race became subject to debate depending on my context.
Beige’ is my way of honouring my experiences of soft racism, of alienation, liminality, and of my family’s sacrifices. It’s a way to ensure I never forget the violent and complicated legacy of imperialism. It’s a reminder that whiteness is often oversimplified and too easily thrown around without consideration. This oversimplification is not just unfair to white-passing people of colour; it obscures exploitation and oppression that hinges on whiteness as a tool of power, wielded by a certain group of people. Without proper nuance, whiteness becomes too sweeping, too general — and something that speaks of everything fails to actually speak about anything at all.
#race#immigrants#immigration#white people#white-passing#white passing#medium#xandra j.#xandra j#racialization#whiteness#racism
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The Ten: 5.19
It seems a good icebreaker, or as good an icebreaker as any, to lay bare my top 10 of all time. Clear the air, so to speak. Get to know each other. It’s fair to say that this may be a make or break moment for us. Hopefully, I won’t lose you. Let’s see.
This is a list I imagine I’ll update periodically (which is why it’s dated), as my wife Kathleen (Player Two) and I play a lot of games, and a lot of new games. I’m a notoriously curious and searching type, and I love trying new games, sometimes to my wife’s chagrin. More often than not, my spare change goes to new games for the house. New games that make a splash tend to spike pretty high and then slowly fade. It’s not a great trait to have, especially in someone who tries to speak or write critically about quality (ie write reviews). But being that I’m aware of this, I hope that tempers it at least somewhat.
Anyway, where’s the list, you say? Here we go:
1. Brass: Birmingham (2018)
Oh boy, it’s a new one. Cult of the new? To be fair, Kathleen and I have played this game fairly regularly for the last eight months. By our third play or so, I knew it had locked itself into my top spot. I’d done a fair bit of research on the OG Brass (now Brass: Lancashire) prior to purchasing Brass: Birmingham, and by the time I eventually took the dive and purchased Birmingham, I was as excited to try it as I was unsure we’d actually enjoy it. At the time, it was the heaviest game we’d played, and it also relies heavily on route building–it’s in fact one of the most important parts of the game. I mention this because tactical spacial elements are not Kathleen’s forte. In fact, it’s one of her least favorite mechanics.
This is a good time to tell you that Kathleen and I think (and play games) very differently. Kathleen is a strategic player, relying on long term planning and execution to maximize scoring/performance. I, on the other hand, do not make long term plans. I find it not only remarkably difficult, but also unenjoyable. I’m a short term/tactical player. On my turn, I’m more likely to look over the board, get a lay of the land, and make the best, most advantageous play available to me at that moment.
Brass: Birmingham remarkably manages to cater to both of our play styles, which is one reason it ranks so high. Birmingham presents a myriad options for players to pursue. You’ve got a whole pile of different factory tiles you can build, a whole mess of locations or regions to move into, and about as many different strategies to pursue on your way to the end game. I don’t think I’ve ever played the same game of Brass: Birmingham twice, nor have I ever pursued the same options. The card play means, for me, that I will go where the cards lead, and I find using these cards as a guide to build my engine incredibly satisfying.
2. Covert (2016)
Dice placement. For some reason, this mechanic sounds incredibly unappealing to me, and I think it’s because it’s literally a portmanteau mechanic consisting of the worker placement mechanic using dice, two individual mechanisms that I seem to enjoy less and less. Dice I tend to avoid for their randomness (yes, I know that’s the point), and Worker Placement, in it’s most stereotypical application, I find frustrating. Why can’t I just put my worker wherever I want and just run my engine? Being stymied in a worker placement game just annoys the hell out of me.
So why do I love Covert?
It’s a pretty straightforward points race built around mission cards that have specific requirements. And using the dice as workers seems a fairly typical euro mechanism, but what I like about Covert is how puzzly it is. When you place your dice workers, they’ll be placed on round tracks with spaces numbered 1-6, and you won’t be able to place a die unless it’s adjacent to another die. In this case, you can do anything you want, but only if you plan correctly and work well with the other players. It becomes an order of operations puzzle, which may frustrate some, but I love it.
Also, I can’t get enough of that spy theme. And the production is fantastic.
3. Eldritch Horror (2013)
Ah, Cthulhu. For being the spawn of such a troubled person (HP Lovecraft), I find Cthulhu’s mythos and surrounding universe positively enthralling.
But dice! Ugh yes, this is a huge, sprawling, long, and [sorta] bloated game that is built all around a very simple dice rolling resolution system. I have no way of justifying why this doesn’t bug me, but it just doesn’t.
Maybe I’m just a sap for the theme (Indiana Jones + Cthulhu = Win). Or maybe it’s nostalgia, considering this is the game on my top ten that I’ve played the most and had the longest. But, if I try to dig into the real reasoning here, it’s probably because this game manages to give you a big, rich, story-based experience that feels like an event when it’s over. Yes, it’s the biggest, longest play session on this list. But I love every minute of it. Even those maddening bad dice rolls.
4. Lord of the Rings: The Card Game (2011)
A long time ago, Kathleen and I came to this hobby via Magic: The Gathering, the deep, long standing king of the collectible card game. Magic is a great game, but it brings out the worst in me as a gamer. Playing Magic makes me both a bad winner and bad loser. Frankly, that’s a terrible combination. Why would you want to play with me at all?
This obvious problem led us to cooperative board games. If I’m gonna lose, why don’t I just lose with you. That’s a refreshing change of pace!
And speaking of losing, hey let’s talk about Lord of the Rings: The Card Game. The word used most frequently when talking about this game–by me and pretty much anybody who’s ever played it–is PUNISHING. And yes, it’s punishing. Kathleen and I have played a few punishing euros at this point (feed those people), but this is something else. Get a few bad card flips from the encounter deck and you’re suddenly up to your eyeballs in LOTR baddies. Orcs and goblins? Oh hai. But your dwarves or hobbits or whatever are never really out of it. Smart deck building (and luck) definitely has carried us out of the tall grass on more than one occasion. And there’s something to be said for a game as well balanced as Lord of the Rings. More than once, a game has concluded on a turn where we either win or lose based on that single turn’s outcome.
The theme doesn’t really do much for me, but I took the dive on this game because it looked like a well-designed and well-supported cooperative card game (of which there really aren’t too many). It’s stood tall over the years, and I hope it continues for a while. When I first played Arkham Horror: The Card Game, I figured it would knock this down a peg or two. But the designers’ ingenuity in the LOTR quests and encounter deck designs has been (for me, at least) a much more rewarding experience.
And I appreciate a cooperative game where you actually lose more often than you win. It seems a rarity in the co-ops we have.
5. Great Western Trail (2016)
I’d heard and read so much about this game prior to purchasing it that I almost didn’t even want to get it (which is exactly how I feel about Concordia and Trajan, subsequently). I dig the cowboy theme, but beyond that, I’d pretty much phased out all the actual details on this game’s gameplay.
But yeah, it really is good. Ya’ll were right. I love games that are heavy but are built around simple gameplay, and Great Western Trail epitomizes that. One your turn you move your cowboy on the (effectively) huge rondel board and then take an action on the space where you stop. That’s it.
The beauty of the game comes from the remarkable breadth of options you can pursue. Using cowboys to buy cows, hiring engineers to move your train and build stations, hiring carpenters to build buildings and busy up the board, and completing objectives are some of the main tasks you’ll be focusing on, and what really clicks for me with Great Western Trail is that it’s a tactical player’s dream. The board is constantly changing, and as it changes, so must your plans. The objective cards steer you somewhat, but you’ve really gotta cut your own path across the wilderness here.
Oh, and I love deckbuilding as a sort of side dish mechanic. It isn’t always enough to sustain a whole game, but it’s great as a single piece of a pie.
6. Gloomhaven (2017)
All right, so this big beast has moved all over my ranking in the year+ since my first game. I won’t lie, it sat at #1 for a while. Then it slid a little, then a little more. I mean, it’s still at #6, so it’s not exactly plummeting. It’s the Board Game Geek #1 game of all time (as of this writing), and it’s hard to say if it’s deserving of this (and if not, what deserves the spot instead). Again, this is so subjective, and games like this or Scythe tend to be lightning rods for people who want to take a shot at the new hotness.
But yes, it’s good. It’s very good. I’m not as enamored by the sprawling nature of it as I was, nor the campaign, but being a person who loves variety, it’s scope is certainly a nice bonus. But after you haven’t played it in a while, it becomes a HUGE box that takes up a whole shelf and is a bear to set back up. And even though the box is 20lbs and takes up a whole shelf and the game takes 20+ minutes just to set up, the card play in Gloomhaven is just stellar. I love that this is essentially a tactical minis game with a euro engine. Tactical minis games rank incredibly low on my chart o’ interest, but this game takes that standard tactical minis expectation and smashes the shit out of it.
Despite its niggling flaws, it’s an excellent game.
7. The Exit Series (2017-?)
This is the last co-op game on my list, and I just looked back and saw that there are four on here. I was just talking to Kathleen about how much I’d rather play competitive games instead of co-ops, and apparently I said that in a moment completely lacking self-awareness. Also, this is a cheaty kind of entry considering we’ve played at least eight Exit games.
Remember when I said that I liked Eldritch Horror because it was an event game that provided a big, rich experience? Well, the Exit games give you a meaty, brainier experience in a slightly shorter time period. There’s not much story–despite the designers really trying to cram one in there–but I’ll always love Exit because it’s become our Date Night game. Kathleen and I will get some nice booze, take out food, and sit down with a new Exit after we put our son to bed. The experience can be frustrating–remember we think very differently, but each experience has always been something to remember (except the Secret Lab; what happened in that one?). Special props to Exit: Dead Man on the Orient Express, in particular.
The puzzles are really satisfying when you crack them, especially after working on them for a while. We take longer than average to do these because we resist those hint cards as much as possible, so our games can stretch. But Exit should be an event, and when savored like one, it doesn’t let you down.
Also, if you have concerns about the value of an Exit game, if you look at it as an event (like going to the movies or *cough cough* playing T.I.M.E. Stories), it’s actually a very good value. Recycle it!
And finally, yes, Exit trumps Unlock any day of the week.
8. Glory to Rome (2005)
That Glory to Rome is out of print is a cryin’ shame. Our copy isn’t even a real copy, I printed a crappy DIY version at Staples and then cut and sleeved them with old Magic commons. Our copy looks bad, is cut unevenly, and has eery MTG watermarks shining through the thin weight paper, and I couldn’t care less. This game is awesome. It’s got about a million different combos that are all seemingly game-breaking, but the fact that everything is so powerful is really what makes this game so exciting.
Multi-use cards are one of my favorite mechanic, and this game is completely built around them. And like any well-designed game that is build all around cards, the design of this never leaves you feeling hamstrung by bad card draw. If you’re doing badly at Glory to Rome, it’s your fault. Sorry. You haven’t found the combo that will win the game for you. I can say this because I’m terrible at Glory to Rome, and I know it. That’s not saying I’ve not won before. I have, but more likely than not it was because I accidentally stumbled onto something good.
Like Brass: Birmingham, no two games of Glory to Rome are the same. There are so many cards in the box, and the subtle sense of humor that permeates some of the cards just tickles me (please see: latrine).
It’s fast and exciting, and giving you options on other players’ turns is also one of my favorite mechanics. I’ll happily play and lose Glory to Rome anytime.
9. Nippon (2015)
Full disclosure, this is the newest edition to this list, and Kathleen and I have only played this a few times, but there’s something about this game that really fascinates me.
At first blush, it feels like Brass, but it’s not. Like Brass, this is an economic engine, but it doesn’t allow the multi-turn build up to The Big Turn like Brass. Then I thought it was a little like Great Western Trail, but it’s not really like that either. Great Western Trail presents a ton of options, but by the end of the game, you really need to work on all of them, at least a little bit, or else your score will suffer. Nippon, however, doesn’t make you do a little bit of everything. There are a number of elements in Nippon (like trains), that can be all but ignored except for certain circumstances. It’s a game built around area control via slow burn engine building. A number of other elements to the game are very specific tools you can use to hone that engine, but could just as easily prove useless under the wrong conditions.
This may be misdirected musings by someone who hasn’t played the game enough, but it feels right to me. The last time we played, I came to the realization that the game felt so fraught because I was trying to do too much. The game presents you with a large amount of avenues to pursue because you don’t actually have to pursue them all; you can’t, there’s not enough time in the game (or money!). You need to choose your actions and build the best engine as quickly as possible.
Nippon is a cutthroat fight that feels both wickedly fast and frustratingly slow at the same time. Special bonuses for completely subverting the worker placement mechanic with its own implementation that runs the whole game. It’s a puzzle that I have relished greatly.
10. Star Wars: The Card Game (2012)
Two Fantasy Flight LCGs on the list? Sweet Christmas!
But yes, this is a great game. I’m not sure it ever got much love, and it saddens me that it’s now dead, but it’s such an interesting design. That it does a fine job of simplifying deck construction is just a bonus.
I appreciate that Star Wars feels like a game of high stakes gambling. The first few turns are slow and quiet as you work through your deck and build your forces, but once conflict erupts, everything tends to break wide open. Each decision you make has massive repercussions, as single large mistakes will lose you the game. Add in some actual bluffing and a ticking clock, and this is the simplified and streamlined (if safer and less wild) version of Doomtown: Reloaded, another card game that I absolutely love.
But where I think Doomtown ultimately fails, Star Wars succeeds. The game doesn’t get bogged down in complexity, and instead feels relatively streamlined considering its medium weight. Every time I play this game, I’m impressed by how smart Eric Lang’s design is. I feel like he played a ton of Magic: The Gathering, and then he removed all the things that bothered him (and bothered me, too).
I think this game is overlooked and underplayed, and dare I say forgotten, but for my money, it’s absolutely worth revisiting. And played over and over again.
Please remember, this list will change. Check back occasionally to see how. If you have any questions or opinions of your own, let me know in the comments!
Thanks for reading!
Eric (Player One)
#top ten#board games#board game#great western trail#gloomhaven#brass birmingham#star wars card game#nippon#glory to rome#exit#eldritch horror#lord of the rings card game#covert game#covert
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Is fashion still scared of people who are not traditionally ‘pretty’?
Nur Khamis explores the obstacle-filled path of unconventional models and the underrepresentation of individuals lacking Eurocentric features in the fashion industry.
It’s 2019. Fashion is slowly starting to approach diversity. We can’t be sure how genuine it is, but we must appreciate the efforts: you can now see plus-size or older models and almost all races and ethnicities. What do all these people have in common, though? They all look the same. Is the fashion industry scared to bring unconventionality to the catwalks and magazine covers?
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, one might say. But science and society have the same idea of what it is: Western features. I’m talking about sculpted jawlines, oval shaped faces, symmetrical features, a slim nose. Eurocentric beauty norms are the standard, and even in the now diverse fashion industry, there’s still a hunt for those who are “lucky” enough to possess them.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the new generation of models – Ashley Graham, Duckie Thot, Winnie Harlow, Halima Aden, Gigi Hadid, Iskra Lawrence. All of them strong, independent women who shine not only through their (traditionally accepted) looks, but their personalities too. Individuality is somewhat valued now – long gone are the days when the catwalk was just an army of robots - models can be themselves.
Those who made it can express themselves, but what about the ones who are struggling or criticized for doing just that, because they don’t fit into the conventional (and let’s be honest, boring) standards set by brands and modelling agencies?
Growing up, I was not considered traditionally beautiful, but rather interesting looking. This might be because, as an ethnically ambiguous person, I did not look like anyone else. Even though I am half Caucasian, the only white features I possess are my pale skin and blue eyes– I inherited my dad’s Middle Eastern looks. With a wide, square shaped face, a bigger, rather bulbous nose, bushy eyebrows, untamed, curly hair and a very unsymmetrical face, you could say I did not fit in society’s beauty norms. The fashion industry was the least diverse place to look at – and the one I looked at the most. My features were different than everyone I’ve ever seen – it was hard to find anyone to identify with. Slim, pale, attractive models on every catwalk and magazine cover – all showing the same small noses and high, defined cheekbones that I was lacking. I wanted to be like them and I wanted to be considered beautiful – and that ruined my self-esteem as a teenager.
A lot of us mixed race individuals experiences this – you are a combination of your parents, two people from two different places and cultures, which makes you unique. You won’t look like anyone else. And by always wishing to look like the norm, you are willing to take away from your own individuality in order to mould into an idea of what you should be. Middle Eastern and African people experience this the most – the very features that define these ethnicities are the ones feared most by the ones with real power in the fashion industry.
With a Botswana father and a mother from Kimberley, Northern Cape, Tee, 22, an architecture student based in Newcastle, grew up in a mostly white community in Lichfield always thinking something was wrong with her. “I think I changed myself over the years to become more like the girls who were all the same because I stood out too much and never felt I was like them. I had no fashion idol to represent me or someone who looked like me. I loved art, fashion and design, but there weren’t many people I could look up to.”
Now there are. One of the biggest models right now is Slick Woods. With her eccentric looks and her I-don’t-give-a-damn attitude, Slick, 22, quickly became one of the most talked about models, and Rihanna's muse. Gaped teeth, shaved head - her beauty is harder to consume and understand – thus explaining the constant hate she got from the beginning of her career. And she’s not the only one. Every model that looks unconventional is called “ugly” at some point – Shaun Ross, the first ever male albino model, Jazzelle Zanaughtti with her shaved eyebrows and androgynous look, or Tibetan-born model Tsunaina known for her Avatar-like features. Each of them break the rules and embrace their own individuality. And that’s exactly what the fashion industry needs – people who are unconditionally themselves and don’t care if they don’t fit in.
These individuals are not only bringing attention to themselves through their looks, but their attitude as well. It’s that powerful confidence to be yourself that scares people, because not everyone is courageous enough to do it. “Most people feel uncomfortable about what makes them different because society imposes what “beautiful” is on us. It’s important to break those ideals down and challenge them” stated photographer and filmmaker, BEX DAY, for I-d magazine in 2018.
Some brands get it – and ASOS is one of them. Last year’s campaigns were a huge step in the right direction. The “Go Play” beauty campaign shows multiple individuals, of all genders, races, sexualities, experimenting with makeup and expressing themselves in the most personal and eccentric ways possible. The “My Style is Never Done” campaign, starring Jazzelle Zanaughtti, focuses on her diverse sense of style. Jazzelle dresses up in multiple looks, some weird and some polished, from a cowboy to a centaur, and she’s having fun by not caring. What do these campaigns say? For short, be yourself.
We need to move on from the idea that models represent an unattainable ideal, a beauty we all want to achieve but cannot, and rather bring them back among us as people who are supposed to represent us. Look at one of the brands that refuses to move forward – Victoria’s Secret. White, aggressively worked out models flaunt on the catwalk every year, with little to no diversity among them. The brand's Chief Marketing Officer, Ed Razek, told Vogue.com last November that the brand would not accept transgender or plus size models because “the show is a fantasy”. Honestly, I’d rather see someone cool, erratic, ‘unconventional’ wear whatever I’m thinking of buying, rather than an unhealthily thin, ‘perfect’ looking model. Why can’t girls who look like me strut on the catwalk? Girls and boys like you?
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ot7 ☾ dating a foreign singer
request: can you write something where the s/o is a foreign singer/songwriter who is dating bts, and is going public?
author’s note: of course! thank’s for the request ^v^ now i wasn’t sure what you meant by going public (like is the singer just debuting or their relationship is going public) so i’m just gonna write their relationship going public/starting their relationship. also a note: hoseok’s is a little different in that they’re not necessarily dating, and in taehyung’s i made it so he had a gf who was debuting. hopefully you guys will like it!
jin
you would definitely be an artist that mostly did ballads, and since jin is most interested in learning japanese, i would definitely see you being a j-pop idol. jin would always sing your songs during lives and run bts, and when asked about female artists he would always mention you (kind of like Kookie and IU). you two finally met at an awards show, where you made a guest performance singing the only Korean song your company had produced. jin was literally shook and immediately knew he needed to get in touch with your managers by the end of the night.
he would be the type of person to wait for a while and see how your relationship goes before announcing to the public. if you guys ended up not really in a strong relationship, he would break it off (politely), only addressing you as “a girl he dated in the past”. or other times, where he would describe you. and understandably so, he didn’t want to ruin your reputation with army ARMY or have them potentially hurt you for splitting with him. if you guys were happy together, then he’d wait for about a year to two before going public. when asked about it, he’d say “i want you all to myself”. finally, he would announce it on a talk show with a friendly host. needless to say, said interview has been viewed more than any other.
yoongi
seeing as yoongi doesn’t have a race preference for his potential partners, i can see you being a songwriter from somewhere other than asia. you were well known for your meaningful compositions and stunning lyrics, and bts had definitely noticed that. you and bts had a joint interview when they visited america in 2017, and it was filled with you two complimenting each other. some fans noticed how yoongi was staring at you during half of the interview, and the shippers went absolutely wild. after about a month of you and bts being constantly tagged in twitter posts, you had your agency email theirs to collaborate with them.
once you went on a few dates and shyly accepted to being his girlfriend, yoongi wouldn’t really doubt your relationship, seeing as he wouldn’t choose to be with you in the first place if he wasn’t certain. you two would both be similar and comfortable towards each other, and the majority of your relationship was built on trust. he told bighit as soon as you guys were “official”, and all of the crew loved you, which was yet another sign for yoongi to eventually go public. your collab with bts quickly became one of their most popular songs. what everyone else didn’t know, though, was that you and yoongi were working on a song in secret. it was just the two of you singing with a composition you worked on together and during the end, that was when you revealed your relationship. (and when you did release it, ARMYs everywhere just about died)
hoseok
everyone in the kpop community knew about you, yet you weren’t even korean. you took the internet by storm when you toured in korea, and at first, people only came because of your looks. you had a V-shaped face, large eyes, and feminine features, which was what everyone strived to have in terms of beauty standards. only when they did listen to you they were blown away. you were similar to rosé from blackpink in which everyone knew you for your stunning vocals. even hobi, who, in interviews would talk about how much he admired your singing skills.
your meeting was on accident, you walking around an abandoned park in the evening and bumping into hoseok and namjoon. namjoon introduced himself in english first then explained how much hoseok was a fan. you had definitely heard about bts and the fact that they liked your singing made you blush. you three walked together, with you mainly talking to namjoon but laughing whenever hoseok made a comment or did a little dance. you guys finally stopped at a nearby bench to rest and watch the ducks. that was when hoseok asked to sing with you, catching you by surprise. you agreed on one of your most popular songs, and your little impromptu duet was so good that namjoon started recording you two halfway and posted it to twitter. an hour later, when you three were departing from the park, both of their numbers in your phone, you were left with 300K new followers on twitter as well as 4 new hashtags on your ship with hobi.
namjoon
namjoon had known you wayyy before you even becoming famous. before you both had become famous, actually. you were an exchange student from (insert country here) and you enrolled at his highschool. since he was one of the only students who knew english, he was assigned to show you around until you picked up korean. and he was great, really. he liked having someone to practice his english on, and in return, he taught you popular phrases. your friendship stayed strong to the point were you were adults, and that’s really when namjoon realised how much he really loved you.
you still kept in touch, especially since you were now a well known singer around the world. so, he booked a flight to your hometown since he knew you were staying there for a few days. when you got a call from him at the airport, your heart almost flew out of your chest. and when you saw him smiling at you in the arrivals hall, nothing could stop you from running over to him. what surprised you, though, was the kiss that he planted on your lips when you pulled away from his embrace. now, super comfortable, but also confused, you two sat in your car with your fingers interlaced. “are you going to tell your fans?” you asked teasingly. he responded with a laugh. “let me have you to myself, first.”
jimin
because i absolutely adore the idea of jimin with a french girl, you’d be a popular french singer (kinda like stromæ) that was most famous for writing and composing your own songs. you actually met bts when you were both in the philippines, on tour. you had dinner with them (per your manager’s request) and it was loads of fun getting to know the boys. you particularly enjoyed getting to know jimin. he was obviously whipped for you, yet you were the only one who didn’t notice. at the end of the night, he gave you his number and kissed you on the cheek, crossing his fingers that you kept in touch.
and you did, really. after going on countless dates with jimin (irl and on facetime) he asked you to be his girlfriend, to which you gladly accepted. jimin, as the affectionate boy that he is, literally told the whole world about your relationship. he was so proud and so sure of his emotions, and he thought that no one had a right to control his feelings. bighit warned him to be careful, and while did keep that in mind most of the time, he really just wanted to hold your hand and snuggle you in public. and understandibly so, both of you loved skinship. whenever you went out together, you were never short of physical contact and jimin wanted to show the world.
taehyung
(imma do his a bit different)
taehyung announced he had a girlfriend only recently, and it took everyone by storm. ARMYs where obsessed on finding out who it was and what she did. the only fabrication of your existence, though, was a selfie you and taehyung took where you’re covering your face while he kissed your cheek. later, taehyung updated the world and also announced you were a foreign girl as well as a trainee for YG. that’s when the intense theories and fan-activities began. people couldn’t search up “BTS” anymore without coming across on an article about you, and taehyung had absolutely no problem with it.
when your band did debut, 70% of the people were only interested in discovering which one of you was taehyung’s partner. and everyone who did listen to your debut were blown away (in a good way), since you didn’t really have a ‘concept’. there were countless people who were supportive of your group, saying how whichever one taehyung was with was talented, beautiful, and kind. on the other hand, there were also a lot of people with prejudice since they were jealous. your identity only got revealed once someone pointed out how you were the only member from (country name) instead of Korea, and that post was anything any ARMY would talk about for a long time.
jungkook
jungkook had been in your graduation class, and you two had been romantically interested with each other ever since. you only got together 8 months afterward, though. after you both graduated, you also both pursued music as a career (I mean, he already had one but still). you’re popularity spiked in your different music type and infatuating voice. while bts was dominating more the eastern hemisphere, you were conquering the western culture. soon, both of you were well known worldwide. since you were foreign in korea and wasn’t confident in your linguistics, you chose to sing in english. but when you travelled back to korea to visit old friends, you picked up korean once again.
that was when jungkook officially asked you to be his partner. his heart hammered out of his chest when he saw you first, and after you pulled away from his embrace, he asked you right then and there. you replied yes without hesitation, and ever since the two of you have still stayed best friends as well. he asked the other members whether he should tell ARMYs about you, and a lot of them had mixed feelings about it. the one thing they did agree on was that jungkook was still growing, he was still young, and he was still a human being that can to share his personal information if he wanted to. jungkook sat you down and talked about it with you as well, and both of you agreed to keep your relationship private.
#𝓁𝒶𝓏𝓊𝓁𝒾#bangtan sonyeondan#bts#bangtan boys#bts fanfiction#bts reactions#bts scenarios#bts writing#kim namjoon#kim seokjin#min yoongi#suga#agust d#jung hoseok#jhope mixtape#park jimin#kim taehyung#v bts#jeon jungkook
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