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miyseung · 6 months

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𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐄

summary: you’ve gone missing, and your best friend chan has no other method of communication other than sending you voice notes.

genre: angst

includes: university au, minho is a thirdwheel/another best friend of you both, overdosing, attempted suicide, coma-ish situation, chan is a S-I-M-P, mentions of you both being drunk, mentions of weightloss and getting paler, chan is a majoring in music here, NOT proofread, lmk if i missed anything else

pairing: non idol! uni student! chan x uni student! fem! reader

a/n: i did this low effort thing bc i haven’t had the energy for anything else pls don’t let it flop i made a comeback i’m out of my blackpink era (/j blinks don’t come after me) (should I make a sequel) song lyrics: lost by (g)i-dle (english translation)

word count: 1K including song lyrics

taglist: @kflixnet

“Hey Y/N. You weren’t at university or your dorm today. Is everything okay? I know you’ve been stressing about…well, a lot, really-” sigh “yeah, so basically, I’m worried about you.” nervous laughter “Cause like, your roommate, Tzuyu told me you were in your room at night, but then you weren’t there when I came to pick you up. I hope you hear this. Take care.”

❝𝙄𝙛 𝙄 𝙝𝙞𝙙𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨❞

“Y/N, it’s been three days. Everyone’s worried, especially me. I know you’ve talked about running away before, but…well, I didn’t think you were serious.” silence ”I hope you’re coming back soon, you know. Uni feels different and more empty without you. Take care.”

❝𝙒𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙄 𝙗𝙚 𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪?❞

“A week. I’ve been a bit busy, but I haven’t forgotten you at all. Where are you? I think the police are still searching. They better be, you’re too precious to me to lose.” deep breath “Come back, Y/N. Come back. Everyone’s asking me where you are, and I don’t know and they keep reminding me that you’re gone and everything is haunting me and-” sigh “I’m rambling again. Take care.”

❝𝘿𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙧𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙢𝙗𝙚𝙧 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙄 𝙙𝙤?❞

“Two weeks. You haven’t even seen my messages, let alone these voice notes, but they’re still delivered. Please, Y/N, this isn’t funny anymore- ignore the voice crack. No, I’m not crying. Like- I do care- um- about you…but I’m not crying. I miss you the most. I don’t have a study buddy now ever since you well…disappeared. Kinda falling behind on classes, but it’s fine. I’ll catch up.” weak giggle “Take care.”

❝𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙢 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙨 𝙥𝙖𝙨𝙨 𝙗𝙮❞

“One month. Since you’re never going to hear these voice recordings, I might as well just say gibberish or odd confessions, hm?” weak laugh “They’ve given up. Your parents, the police…everyone, really. But I haven’t. I know you’re there – somewhere. I’ve been producing more songs to cope. You know how much I love doing that, I mean- it’s why I chose music as my major. Take care.”

❝𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙚𝙛𝙩, 𝙖𝙣𝙙, 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙯𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙩❞

“Two months. You know, today I passed by a wishing well. I threw a coin, and guess what I wished for? I wished you back, Y/N. Come back, please. I’m not requesting you at this point, I’m begging. Everything’s become worse without you, or at least that’s what Minho says. He’s a bit wild, so I’m not believing him. Where are you, mm? I’ll come there, and I’ll meet you – even rescue you if necessary!” faint hmph “I miss you. I miss you loads. Take care.”

❝𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙣 𝙦𝙪𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙬𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙩 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙥𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙩❞

“Five months. Since you don’t seem to have heard any of these, I guess I can really just say shit, huh? Well then, I love you. Like- you know- romantically.” nervous laugh “Yeah, cliche. Dumb move. Fuck, fuck, shouldn’t have done that- but it’s out and true- I guess. Ever since last year when we…ah, leave it. Take care.”

❝𝙄 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙖 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪❞

“Eight months. I love you. I love you. I love you, Y/N. Please, I need you back. Everything’s so dark without you. You know that you’re my driving force, right? Right? I need you here desperately.” sniffle “Y/N. Y/N. Please. I don’t- I don’t know how I can do this anymore.” whimper “I can’t- can’t lose you. Take care.”

❝𝙒𝙞𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪❞

“Ten months. Everything hurts. I don’t have the motivation to wake up in the morning, Y/N. Minho says that I’ve become thinner and paler. Other people are saying watered down versions of that. It all reminds me of you. I’m so tired, I don’t know why they suddenly care. Eh, whatever.” dull groan “Shit, I’m ranting again. Ignore it. Take care.”

❝𝙒𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙣'𝙩 𝙗𝙚 𝙩𝙤𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚❞

shaky breath “ Y/N, Y/N, please at least see my messages.” pained whimper “I can’t. I can’t. I need- need you. Badly. Fuck- I can’t bre-breathe.” rattling of pills in a bottle “I don’t want to live anymore. There’s no po-point.” quiet sob “You-You are my muse fo-for whatever I man…manage to…get out of my studio. I love you, I’ve loved you ever-ever since the day we drun-drunk made out.” sad giggle “Yeah, sounds cra-crazy, no?” swallowing sound, gulp “You’re coming back, right? Promise? You are, you are. I’m sure of it.” cursing under breath “Fuck, Minho’s here. Take care.”

❝𝙄 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙖 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪❞

“Can’t move on from you. I love you too much. I love you, Y/N, and I wish I had the guts to have said it to your face when you were with me. Will you miss me? Maybe you won’t. It’s been a year after all. You’ve probably forgotten about me, about what we had, and frankly speaking? I don’t blame you.” silence “You’re still alive there though, I’m sure of it. Eat well, sleep soundly, drink water, do whatever makes you happy, even if others discourage you, and even if it’s the police, and remember to love yourself as much as I do. I love you from the sun to Pluto and back, note that.” dry laugh “I’ll always have you engraved in my memory. You’ll forever be my first and last thought. Take care.”

❝𝙒𝙞𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪❞

“Hi Y/N. It’s me, Minho. I know I didn’t talk to you as much as Chan did-” annoyed sigh “I mean, he’s your bestie westie pookie wookie and all that shit, but like- I miss you too. There’s rumors about you being spotted around and you know that I don’t believe in a lot of gossip that goes throught the university grapevine – although I do love listening to it –” slight chuckle “I really want this rumor to be proven true. Make it happen, perform a miracle or something. You always disproved me in arguments, do it again.” silence “Chan, he…he’s in the hospital.” slightly muffled sob “I caught him overdosing on pills, which is what he was doing when he…when he sent you the tenth voice note. A month after that, he tried to kill himself, hence the eleventh one. That was like- three days ago. He’s still…still unconscious, but he’ll wake up soon, I hope. Come back Y/N. We all miss you, and Chan needs you. In his words, take care.”

❝𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙄 𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙠 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠, 𝙮𝙤𝙪’𝙧𝙚 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚❞

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nagato-web · 1 year

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⠀᩠ֺ⠀𝆢᭥𝓹𝑂᪾𝓵ᥲ݁꩗✩ֺ⃯𝓲𝖽 ̷᭄𝓸᥈ֺ۫ᥱֵ⠀̜𝇋࡙𝟖♡﹫⃞⠀꞉⠀ᰭ ִ❨ 🎹᪾̸᳞᭡⠀᩠ ᥒ̇ᥲ꯭ֿ𝓰ᥲֺ𝓵᥆ְ︕ ❩⠀ַֺ

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bluebad · 16 days

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créditos não são obrigatórios, like or reblog if you save.

Kim TaeHyung random icons;

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ddeonuluvrr · 2 months

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Just come 𝓀𝒾𝓈𝓈 me and 𝒷𝒾𝓉𝑒 me

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ps-korean · 7 months

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❃ like or reblog if you use or save, please ❃

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23179 · 2 months

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kpop-kitkat · 2 years

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I Think You're Cute | K

pairing | k x trainee f!reader

genre/cw | friends-to-lovers, idol au, trainee au, crush, crying, body shaming, mention of physical abuse, featuring &TEAM

wc | 1.6k

notes | none

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“Five, six, seven, eight, left, hop, turn around, no! Y/n you’re doing it wrong,” the dance instructor scolded.

“Sorry Mrs. Yang,” Y/n bowed her head. She glanced around to see that all the other trainees were watching her intently, causing her to flush unintentionally.

Mrs. Yang sighed deeply. “If you want to debut, you’ll work on the choreography twelve hours a day! Do you hear me?” She crossed her arms.

”Yes, Mrs. Yang. I was busy, I-“

”Your excuses mean nothing to me,” she scoffed. “You either debut with Hybe or you don’t debut at all. I doubt any other entertainment company would train you. You’re not even worth the time.”

“I’m sorry,” she closed her eyes tightly and bowed her head. She couldn’t even bring herself to look up. “I promise to work harder.”

”You best do so,” she sighed angrily.

Just then, the clock chimed. It was break time.

”I suppose I’ll see you all tomorrow for your monthly evaluation along with Mr. Won. You’re dismissed,” she said, gesturing them all to leave.

All of the girls picked up their duffel bags and exited. But Y/n was stopped.

”Y/n,” Mrs. Yang called.

Y/n squeezed her eyes shut before turning around. “Yes?”

“Start eating less. Your gaining weight, I can see it in your face,” she frowned. “Minyeon and Jinri never had trouble with their diets.”

Oh how Y/n hated being compared to the other girls. Especially regarding weight.

”Yes Mrs. Yang,” she whispered, tears stinging her eyes.

~~~

K smiled to himself when break time came. As a part of the pre-debut group &TEAM, he had a lot on his plate. Breaks were lovely. But he also did a little happy dance on the inside at the thought of seeing his crush, Y/n. The two had known each other for two years, ever since Y/n was street casted. They weren't exactly friends though. Heck, they never really did anything but acknowledge each other's existence. But he saw her around enough to develop feelings for her. She was the brightest, kindest, cutest person he knew. How was he to admit it? Maybe soon. But not just yet.

"Y/n!" EJ waved Y/n over to sit with his members.

She shyly brought her lunch over, which consisted of spicy ramen, and sat between EJ and Yuma, the only two she really knew in the group.

"I should introduce you all. Guys, this is L/n Y/n," Yuma announced, and they all greeted her warmly. "Y/n, this is Fuma, Harua, Jo, Taki, Maki, Yihsiang, and K," he explained.

"Hi," she waved.

"Nice to meet you Y/n. I hope we can be friends," Taki smiled.

The rest of the members said kind things to Y/n, yet K remained silent. In truth, he wanted to officially meet her on his own, not with Yuma's help. It would be a terrible first impression on his crush, at least in his mind.

The clock chimed yet again, signaling it was vocal and rap practice time.

"See you later," Maki waved at her as he and the guys left to their respective rooms.

~~~~~

Y/n collapsed on her bed in her apartment room and sighed. Her back ached terribly as she stretched. It had been a long day. Sitting up, she glanced at the mirror on the wall. She played with the strands of her messy hair and squished her cheeks, seeing how chubby they really were. And they weren't, at all. It was simply Mrs. Yang scolding Y/n every chance she got. And while Y/n didn't understand her reasons, she had grown used to it by now. Used to being humiliated in front of her trainees. And while known of these rude comments and scoldings were true, they got to her head. "What am I doing wrong," she whispered to herself before breaking down in tears.

It was another night of listening to depressing music as tears streamed down her cheeks.

~~The Next Day~~

"Bro just tell her! I'm sick of seeing you give her puppy eyes 24/7 and not saying anything!" EJ frowned. "And I'd bet she likes you back. I mean who wouldn't? Look at you," he teased.

"I'm not completely sure. I really want to tell her. I just don't know how," K admitted.

"It's not like you're getting down on one knee with a diamond ring for heaven's sake! Just find a time when you're both alone with an hour or more to spare," EJ suggested.

"Okay. Thanks EJ," K fist bumped him before going up to his room.

He immediately began surfing the internet using key words: confessing to my crush. And after an hour, he had a long list.

"Okay. Be expressive, be confident, compliment her, and don't bore her. Get straight to the point," he spoke just above a whisper as he kept reading the short list over and over.

~~~~~

It all seemed like a good idea until the time actually came. He stood at the door to Y/n's practice room, unable to open the door.

"Just do it!" EJ shouted from around the corner.

"I'll kill you if you mess this up for me!" K seethed.

With a newfound confidence, he knocked on the door. But when it opened, a crying Y/n brushed past him and went down the hall. He stood there, confused, dropping his list on accident as well. He decided to follow her for about a minute. And just when he was about to give up, he heard sniffling in his own vocal practice room. He opened the door and saw her, curled up into a ball, leaning against the same wall K had always used for physical support on the bad days. He quietly closed the door behind him and knelt beside her.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked softly.

"I'll never be good enough K," she suddenly spoke. "I don't even deserve to be here."

His gaze softened. "What? Of course you do! You're so talented Y/n."

"Mrs. Yang she... she," she choked on her own words.

"She what Y/n?" K became curious.

"She told me to leave the company, and that I'm not good enough to follow my dreams," she explained.

K could tell she was hiding something still. "What else? Just tell me the truth Y/n, it won't hurt you."

"She got angry with me so she... hit me. She pushed me to the ground and my wrist is most likely fractured," she cried.

"What?!" He exclaimed, quickly getting up and running to the other side of the room. He opened a cabinet and brought out a shoulder sling. "Here," he helped her put it on, clasping it behind her back. "Try not to move too much, okay? I need to speak to Mr. Kim."

She nodded in response as he quickly exited the room.

~~~~~

"Mr. Kim?" K knocked on his studio door.

"Yes K?" He looked up from his desk with a smile.

"Mrs. Yang needs to be fired. She pushed one of your trainees, Y/n to the ground and told her to leave the company," he explained, breathing heavily. "She's no good for the company."

"I'm sorry that has happened. I'll deal with it as soon as I can. Thank you for telling me K," he smiled again before going back to his work.

~~The Next Day~~

Y/n loved having Mrs. Yang gone. She felt much more free. And her replacement, Mrs. Kwon, was an angel. Strict enough to be a good dance instructor, but as sweet and understanding as they come. But she had someone to thank for it.

"K?" Y/n knocked on his apartment door. It soon opened and she smiled at the occupant. "Hey."

"Hey umm, would you like to come in?" He gestured to his couch area, and she accepted with a nod and a simple "thank you".

They both took seats next to each other before she spoke. "I just wanted to thank you for yesterday. You have no idea how grateful I am that she's gone now."

"You're welcome. Nobody deserves to be treated the way you were."

"Yeah," she smiled, before falling into silence. It looked like she still had something she wanted to say, and K read her mind.

"You're probably wondering why I showed up at your practice room yesterday, so I might as well get straight to the point," he took a deep breath. "I think you're cute and I uh... I've had a crush on you for like a year now. I was wondering if you wanted to go out?"

"Wow, I was going to ask you first," Y/n laughed.

"You were?"

"Yeah, I guess you were oblivious to my obvious stares in the past year."

"I guess I was," he chuckled.

~~~~~

Had K not had the bravery to confess, he wouldn't have been where he was right now. Sitting on top of his car, watching the sunset, with his girlfriend's head on his shoulder. "To think, today would've been our second anniversary if I said something right when I knew I liked you," K sighed.

"At least we have each other now. Better late than never I say," Y/n picked her head up off his shoulder to see his eyes. "And I for one, wouldn't have it any other way."

"Make it two," he smiled, before planting a short and sweet kiss on her lips.

#k #&audition boys #&team #&audition #&team imagines #&team k #k fluff #k angst #k-pop #kpop boys #kpop boy group #idol au #trainee au #&team fluff #&team angst #&team x reader #k x reader #k ff

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tzsukii · 3 months

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- - repost or like pls

#jungkook moodboard #moodboard #k-pop #lq icons #fashion #music #amino moodboard #jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts #bts jungkook #jungkook icons #dark #dark aesthetic #beauty #boy group

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bearseulgs · 2 years

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enhypen's reaction to walking in on their s/o changing (ENTIRELY SFW)

gn!reader x ot7

genre: fluff, comedy

wc: 777 (angel number omg)

warnings: the reader is changing (obvi) but it's nothing bad like the boys see NOTHING

requested!! tysm

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ Heeseung ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

RIP HEE

YOU WEREN'T EVEN DOING ANYTHING YET???

mans just walked in on you taking off your belt and unbuttoning your jeans

as you started pulling down the waistband of your jeans (bc you don't gaf, he's your bf and y'all're both adults), he looked up from his phone and SPRINTED out of the room

he left the door wide open too 💔💔

like hun you ain't fixing anything

you literally didn't know what to do bc wtf was that

he came back to close the door and left you to change in peace lmao

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ Jay ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

you had just gotten back from a shopping trip with your bffs and wanted to try on your clothes

you weren't fully dressed but you had on pants and, if you have a chest, a bra so like it wasn't a big deal

and you had gotten a cute shirt that you were practically dying to wear out of your bags right as Jay walked in

sees the shirt and just says "that's a nice top" before leaving

very boring reaction, 0/10 terrible performance 😐

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ Jake ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

i hate him (affectionate)

you were getting ready for work when he woke up and walked into the bathroom to take a shower and found you putting on your pants

stops dead in his tracks BUT NOT IN AN EMBARRASSED WAY he just watches you zip and button them like a creep 🤨🤨 jk he just loves you

you were finished changing and noticed he hadn't moved and you just stared back

like dude why is he watching you??? you're literally just vibing???

snaps out of his trance and goes to take a shower like nothing happened like what???? is up with this man

anyways

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ Sunghoon ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

bro i love him sm

tries to be all cocky but he's just so 🥺🥰

you were getting ready for y'all's date when he walked in to y'all's shared bedroom

you were looking through your closet for a cute shirt that complimented your skirt/bottoms well

and he loves you and loves your body bc you're so good looking but he gets flustered really easy

so he literally just turns around and stares at the wall until you finish

you noticed and asked him what he's doing and he's like "i didn't know what to do so i just looked away"

10/10 very respectful 🤍🤍🤍

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ Sunoo ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

you couldn't pick a pair of shorts for your day out together and it was getting to be the time for him to pick you up

you were still in your pajamas, which consisted of a rather large shirt and rather small shorts that were hidden by your top

and he walked in wondering wth was taking you so long to find you looking for nice shorts to wear

but he didn't know that you had sleep shorts on still and thought you just had a shirt on

so, like Hee, he ran out but he actually shut the door thank you sir 🙏🙏

you didn't know he walked in so you looked up wondering what slammed your door before going back to picking out a fit

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ Jungwon ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

so you were going to the pool yippee!!

your friend had one in their backyard and they happened to live next door to Won's grandma aw lucky

he didn't know y'all were swimming that day so he walked over to drop off some food his grandma made for your friend's mom bc he was at his gram's that day

and he went out back to say hey to find you taking off your shirt HOW SCANDALOUS 😱😱

didn't know you had a swimsuit underneath and hopped the fence to go back to his grandma's 😭

y'all don't speak of it

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ Ni-ki ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

y'all were both at a sleepover for your bff's birthday yay :D

and before y'all watched the movie everyone decided to change into pjs

bc like,,, how else would you watch a movie at a sleepover??? with normal clothes on??? pshh nah

and he didn't know you were currently in the bathroom changing yourself so he walked in to change

you were already in your pajama bottoms (and you had a sports bra on if you have a chest) so like you didn't care who walked in

but Riki full on gasped and covered his eyes before leaving the room and walking into the door frame on the way out lmao

you just stared at your dramatic bf walk out as you put on your sleep shirt before exiting the bathroom and telling him it was his turn to change

he apologized so much while you and y'all's friends just laughed at his embarrassment 💔💔 i'm sorry Riki

a/n: my first time actually having the inspo to write without music playing?? woot woot!! also i don't see wearing a bra and pants as sensual or anything, esp if it's a sports bra, so if you do see it like that i'm very sorry!!

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why-so-serious-lucifer · 5 months

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K-pop Discography Deep Dives: Jonghyun

Since this is a very special review, I wanted to start off not with my “credentials” or with a disclaimer but with a story. I’ve been a casual k-pop fan since early 2019 and a deeper fan since March of the year after, when I discovered Red Velvet. In late November of 2020, during lockdown, I lost one of the people I loved most in the world. I was still a teenager (barely younger than Jonghyun was when he debuted in SHINee), and I felt alone and isolated, and I became depressed. And just three weeks later, on December 18th, I was scrolling on social media when I came across posts memorializing Jonghyun. I had heard him mentioned, through Yeri of RV, but had never taken the time to listen, and I finally did.

I saw people mourning, people celebrating, and most of all, people remembering. The k-pop world had just lost two more idols to suicide, Sulli and Hara, and the messages surrounding mental health had never been stronger. It was this that got through to me, like a lightbulb going off, and I went, “Shit, I think I have depression.” And I started taking medication. Now, I’m not going to credit him with saving my life because I have no idea what would’ve happened, but I try to continue what he did for me. But all I can do is what all of us can do, which is remember who he was, respect the art he created, and continue the great advocacy he started. So, in this review, I’m trying to do all three, and I’d love it if you came along with me.

Crazy (Guilty Pleasure) is first on the list, and immediately had me feeling nostalgic. There’s something about his voice that’s so instantly recognizable, and a song like this that oscillates between his more subdued style and the strong emotions of the chorus fits it so well. Surprisingly, I enjoyed the rap, probably because of the vocalizing behind it, which helped it blend in seamlessly. On the whole, I liked this one! Its strings and immaculate sense of drama reminded me of Taylor Swift’s Don’t Blame Me.

Deja Boo begins with Jonghyun’s classic sound of smooth R & B and his crooning voice. I enjoyed the constant starting and stopping of the instrumental, as it made what could be a boring song far more interesting, and while I’m not usually a fan of rapping or choruses so heavy on vocalizing, I actually liked both here, since they felt like they were there because they fit the song and not because someone thought that they “should” be. The “Okay, next” at the end gave me a good chuckle

It’s a testament to how strong this first EP is that, before this deep dive, I had no idea which of these songs were actually the title track. Beautiful Tonight’s distinctive whistling hook, Hallelujah’s beautiful gospel choir back-up, and Love Belt’s gentle words (and references to a real car accident that Jonghyun was in) all do something unique with what could be such simple R & B melodies, ensuring that the piece feels cohesive but never same-y. My favorite was definitely Neon, though, whose funky catchiness snuck up on me, and I ended up replaying it twice.

End Of A Day has always been one of my favorite singles of Jonghyun’s, and I’m not alone. There are few songs as heartfelt, and led by only his quiet, comforting voice and a gentle piano, it feels like a warm hug from someone you love. Telling the listener to “lean on my shoulder” and “let me cheer you up”, it features Jonghyun at perhaps his most earnest. I paused what I was doing for a few minutes just to appreciate the peace that this one radiates, and take a deep breath in and out.

The Collection “Story Op.1” is so called because it was written by Jonghyun based on the stories the listeners of his radio show Blue Night confided in him; it’s a very special album for that reason, because it truly feels like a group effort between him and fans. I enjoyed U & I’s sprightly piano, interesting percussion, and cozy guitar, Diphylleia Grayi’s gorgeously sad lyrics and strings, the falling rain sound effects and comfortable energy of 02:34 (which I think was my favorite), and the interpolated phone conversation in Maybe Tomorrow. This is one of my favorite albums of his, and has some of his most excellent imagery.

She Is, despite being super popular, is not a song of his I’ve listened to much. It leans more into funk and is lighter than his other singles (Crazy, End Of Day, Lonely, and Shinin’), being about having a crush. It’s a nice break from the sadder and darker aspects of his discography, and it’s also really catchy. I even liked the sing-talk aspects, though my favorite part was definitely the vocalizing in the post-choruses.

From the She Is album, I liked the “you, you, you” and finger-snapping in White T-Shirt, the ethereal quality of Moon, the layers of falsetto vocalizing in Aurora, the intentional vocal fry and minimalistic background of Cocktail, the sped-up quality of Red, and the vulnerability in Suit Up.

I admit that when listening to the She Is album, a part of me had forgotten the reason I was doing this review in the first place, but Lonely had me remember immediately. Lonely is, in hindsight, both gut wrenching and haunting, with its lyrics about feeling isolated and alone. It’s a beautiful song, don’t get me wrong—the piano is so lovely and Taeyeon and Jonghyun’s voices work beautifully together, each making the other sound richer—but it’s one of those tracks that you just can’t listen to more than once in a while.

The Collection “Story Op.2” follows where the first collection left off, with more stories inspired by the callers on his radio show. I enjoyed the calm guitar of 1000 and the gentle groove of Just Chill, but Let Me Out has been one of my favorite songs since the first time I heard it. It’s one of the most genuine, gripping, painfully open k-pop ballads I’ve seen, and it never fails to make me want to reach through the screen and say “No.”. Overall, though, this album is definitely a more subdued and peaceful album, although I might be imagining more melancholy with the benefit of hindsight.

Less than eight months after the release of his second collection was, again, December 18th, 2017. It’s a day that’s become so infamous that in the k-pop community just saying “December 18th” will likely get your message across. It gives me no joy to say that he had a plan; his last album, Poet | Artist was released just a month after he left the world; a final gift to the fans who had watched him grow up for both so long and not nearly long enough.

Shinin’ is the single from the album, and uses a glowing, minimalistic electronic synth background that expands with some percussion in its choruses. Jonghyun’s voice is at some of its smoothest here. It’s one of those songs that’s happy and sad at the same time, and its happiness feels…muted? It’s hard not to be emotional when the song ends with “always be with you, you, you.” Without the story behind it, it’s a simple love song. With it, it’s a promise that he’s managed to keep for the last six years. I do admit that I got a good laugh out of the super 80’s animation, though.

Before Our Spring wasn’t intended to be a single, but after his passing, SM Entertainment decided to make it a tribute video for him. It follows in the footsteps of End Of Day, as it’s a peaceful, piano-led ballad, but undeniably heartbreaking: “Before spring comes, before the sun rises, I’ll meet you when everyone is asleep. I’m okay, don’t worry, spring will come to me too.” I hope it does. Depending on the day, sometimes I listen to it and feel comforted, and sometimes I listen to it and just feel heartbroken. Thankfully, watching it with the video made it just a little easier. It’s good to hear him laugh.

Poet | Artist is Jonghyun’s last, posthumous album, and is one of his strongest. I loved the disco-y synths of Only One You Need, the tongue-in-cheek humor of #Hashtag, the chorus’ explosion in Grease, the ethereal encouragement in Take The Dive, the brighter and funkier delivery of Sightseeing, and the quietly anthemic quality of Just For A Day.

My top 5 songs from Jonghyun are End Of Day, Only One You Need, Take The Dive, Hallelujah, and U & I, with Neon and Let Me Out as honorable mentions. Jonghyun’s work gets a 9.25 out of 10 from me, which is probably about as surprising as TWICE announcing a comeback. In all seriousness though, I know that I’m super biased, but hey, we started with a sob story and that’s how we’re going to end.

I can’t really put into words the feelings I have about this review. Writing it has reminded me how grateful I am, not only that I found Jonghyun and his story, not only that I became a Shawol, but that I became a k-pop fan in general. As Jonghyun wrote in his book (which I haven’t been able to find a full English translation of yet, but I’m still trying), “Even though we can’t communicate using the same language, we use music instead.”

Jonghyun broke boundaries in k-pop, with his openness, his self-producing, his prolific writing, and his advocacy. Both our community and the world as a whole was very lucky to have him for as long as we did, which still wasn’t nearly long enough. He changed the lives of so many people—he changed mine, without me even knowing who he was at the time he passed away—and overall, he made the world just a little easier for everybody else, no matter how hard it was for himself. All this is to say, he did very, very well.

I’ll be taking a break next week because it’s the holidays, so I’ll see you again in the new year for a girl group, folks. Thank you so much for reading, and please, take care. Tschüss, und Fröhliche Weihnachten (Happy Holidays)!

#k-pop #review #k-pop deep dive #k pop boy groups #Jonghyun #SHINee #Onew #Taemin #Minho #key #shining #Shinin #let me out #lonely #end of day #she is #depression #tw: suicide mention #Spotify

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miyseung · 4 months

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𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐒 𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐓

summary: this is the first christmas you’re spending without minho. obviously, everything feels different now, and you’re just so lost without him – the person who’s been there for everything. what you didn’t know was that, however, he was still here.

includes: death, car accidents, drunk driving, depression-like state, suicidal thoughts, ghosts, this is set during the night between 25th-26th, crying, Changbin, Hyunjin, Han, Felix, Yeji, Lia and Ryujin (of ITZY) are your friends, hospitals, wounds, scars, lmk if i missed anything!

pairing: ghost! bf! minho x human! fem! Reader

word count: 1.7K

taglist: @kflixnet

You sat on the couch in your living room. Most of the lights are off, save for one. You didn’t want to bother with making it all ‘cheery’ and ‘bright’ as you were on this day year after year after year. “Your surroundings are a reflection of yourself” is a quote you had heard before, and it probably held true. You didn’t feel any joy inside, and you didn’t have to put on a facade that said otherwise to anyone, so there was no point.

You had made a decision to spend this Christmas alone. Weighing down your family and friends with your sorrow was an ass move, and you wanted them to be happy, to celebrate like they did every year. It was nearly midnight – at this time, people would be asleep, or still up with their families, or at parties, or out on trips with friends or something else that they enjoyed. Very few would be distressed or sad right now.

You, unfortunately, were part of that few.

You hadn’t been able to sleep normally ever since exactly last year, so to be fair, it wasn’t just you being a Grinch. This day was nothing special, you were just following old patterns. It was also around this time 365 days ago that you lost him, your Minho.

You both were returning home after a gathering with your friends, Changbin, Hyunjin, Jisung, Yongbok, Yeji, Jisu, and Ryujin. It was a cheerful night. A lot of laughs and food was shared, and you were sure that nothing could ruin the high spirits you were in, which only seemed to heighten as Minho drove the car and you sat in the passenger seat beside him. He was taunting you over a stupid joke you made in the get-together, and you were laughing at him.

Everything was perfect.

Until it wasn’t.

A drunk driver had crashed violently into your car, knocking you out. You remembered nothing that your lover had said before you blacked out, except for a faint ‘I love you’. You woke up in the hospital, your parents next to your bed, sobbing. Shortly after, Hyunjin and Yeji, the only two available after the gathering since the others were unable to be contacted, rushed into your room as soon as they were allowed in. It took you a few days for you to get rid of the daze you were in since the accident. When you were better than before, the first thing you asked had gotten you a frown from your friends, who visited regularly, and a sigh from your parents.

“Where’s Minho?”

They all looked at each other before Jisung took in a deep breath with slightly watery eyes.

“He’s…He’s not here.”

“Why? Is he okay? Were his injuries worse than mine?”

At your words, Jisung held back a little sob and turned around to bury his face in Yongbok’s shoulder, unable to answer you. Jisu glanced around, and after seeing that no one else was ready to speak, opened her mouth.

“He’s in a better place, Y/N.”

“What do you…you’re not serious.”

Your eyes widened and flitted between everyone’s faces, before setting on Jisu’s again, hoping that this was some kind of sick joke. When there was just emotion and pity in them, you turned your head slowly to look down at your hands, which were unconsciously gripping your blanket. You seemed frozen, but a million thoughts were bouncing around in your head, spinning, spinning, but never quite settling. So many emotions swum around, it was causing your head to hurt. You blinked rapidly, breathing heavily through your mouth.

Minho – gone.

An overwhelming surge of exhaustion enveloped you suddenly, and you let your eyes close before falling back onto your pillow, succumbing to your tiredness.

Dori leapt into your lap, nestling there. Even with the heating on, cats who were all close by, and you in Minho’s prized hoodie, you didn’t feel warm. It was cold, so cold, being so alone without your favorite person. You had healed somehow, although a small scar above your eyebrow would stay to cruelly remind you of the day you lost everything every time you looked in the mirror.

Your body might’ve recovered, but your heart wouldn’t. It wouldn’t allow itself to.

“Dead on the spot.”

You didn’t even get to say goodbye properly.

The only consolation you had was that the last time you saw him, there was a bright smile on his face and that it wasn’t him being alone like you were. You’d never want him to feel any pain, and you would choose you being left alone and for him to move on than him suffering without you.

Even though sometimes you wished you died as well so that you could possibly still be with him since there was no chance of him coming back.

Dori purred, and you snapped out of your reverie. You started stroking the cat’s back, smiling weakly to yourself at the living reminder of him. You scratched the back of his head, and suddenly your head was filled with memories you treasured. You held onto them dearly like they were your lifeline – which, in hindsight, they were. They were what kept you going in moments when you felt so empty.

Tears escaped your eyes and streaked down your cheeks. They plopped onto Dori’s fur, making it slightly damp. You didn’t bother to wipe them, since you didn’t want to get cat hair into your eyes, and it would be more efficient for you to just get up later and wash your face as you could expect more of them throughout the night. Small sniffles came from your nose, and you cleared your throat when it felt too dry.

It was in this situation that Minho phased in.

You felt a cold rush of air that moved your curtains, and you looked around to see what might have caused it, since your windows were shut because you had the heater on and to block out the sounds of Christmas carols. After seeing nothing, you focused on the cat in your lap, stroking its coat rhythmically as you got lost in your head.

Minho glanced down at himself, and sure enough, he was a ghost. He couldn’t be seen in any mirror or by any human, but some animals could. He hoped his cats would be counted in that ‘some’ because he really missed them – they were his babies, after all.

Not as much as he missed you though.

He took in your form, and his eyes widened as he noticed how different you were since he last saw you. You looked more tired with slight eyebags. He couldn’t pinpoint anything else, but you had definitely changed for the worse. His heart – not that he had a proper one – hurt seeing you like this, and he slightly felt guilty for causing you to be like this and for not being there to comfort you.

He went over to you, his steps noiseless. Soonie’s ears perked up and he turned to look at his late owner, before jumping onto his paws. Doonie seemed to notice the ghost too, and mewed. He smiled at his cats, squatting to get on their level. He patted their heads, before getting up again to sit next to you. The couch didn’t shift, so you had no idea he was there.

He placed his hand on top of yours, sighing.

“Y/N. You may not see me, but I’m here. Isn’t that- great?”

There was no response on your end, which was expected, but Minho was overjoyed to be with you again and didn’t give a shit.

“I’m sorry for leaving you without saying a proper goodbye. Lord, you look terrible. You’re struggling, and it’s all my fault. I should have been there for you, I should have- and yet I wasn’t. I’d do anything to trade places with you, you know? Even if that included going through the accident over and over, just so that you could be the one that passed and I could have stayed.”

Almost immediately after he said that, you broke down. You covered your eyes with your arms, the tears soaking Minho’s hoodie. You let yourself heave out pained sobs which you had been holding back until now, because how long could you hold it in?

His eyes widened, and he wrapped his arms around you. The three cats mewed again as you felt a breeze around your body again – however, this one was warm, truly warm. You calmed down a little, sobs reducing to small whimpers. He looked down at you, face filled with concern, before cupping your cheek. He scanned your face and realized that you looked worse now than when he was alive to see you cry in real-time.

He frowned upon noticing your scars. He then leaned down to kiss them all one by one, his lips moving gently as if you were a fragile thing that could easily break. Once he was done with that, he pecked your right cheek, then the left one, before going up to your forehead and planting a lingering one there. His eyes darted to your lips, aching to feel them one more time, but he just leaned back. He wouldn’t be able to feel their usual warmth, which was what made them so comfortable and loving, and he didn’t want to claim you – he was yours and always would be, but you were no longer his. It would take you time to move on, he knew that, but eventually you would, and doing this felt like he was holding you back.

Not that you knew, but you did feel the same warmth on your face which was oddly familiar.

He got off the couch, knowing his time was nearly up. He kissed the cats’ heads, saying his goodbyes to them, before moving back to the spot where he spawned from. He waved at you, blowing the curtains again, which startled you.

“Merry Christmas, my love. I’ll see if I can come back next year.”

With that, he disappeared, causing Doonie to run over and swat the area where he previously was, and to mewl in frustration as nothing happened.

“Doonie, come back here. There’s no one there.”

It didn’t matter, because strangely enough, you were feeling a bit better than before, as if some of your strength had returned. You suddenly felt drowsy, and yawned, before lying down on the couch. You felt cozy now, which was confusing yet comfortable. “Must be the magic of a Christmas spirit.”

a/n: btw the drunk driver survived and got bailed out yikes

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