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bluesky-thewebcomic · 3 years

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Final thoughts from Elvenwhovian

So here we are at the end. The last panel. There were a lot of times that I thought I wouldn’t make it to this point. It’s been an incredible and long journey, and finishing a project like this is satisfying beyond words. I know that many of you were not here from the start, so I just wanted to share the story of how this 930 panel monster of a project came to be and thank a few people who helped along the way.

Really it all started in March of 2014. My roommate had taken a trip to New Zealand to visit family and I was having a pity party at home alone (It’s always been a dream of mine to go to New Zealand). I was window shopping online on Thinkgeek (RIP Thinkgeek) and I was seeing all this merch for a game called Portal. This led me to Steam, which led to finishing the first Portal in about a day, then Portal2 in about 2 weeks.

Of course this led me to begin looking up fan art which led me to discover the fanfiction “Blue Sky”. I read the whole thing in about 4 days. I was so engrossed in the story, I ate, slept, went to work, and read Blue Sky and nothing else. I vividly remember sitting at my kitchen table, ipad in hand, as I read the last lines of the story. I sat back, let out a long breath and said, “Wow. That was one of the best stories I’ve ever read.”

The fan art came next. Being relatively new to tumblr, I was used to getting 3-6 notes on a post. Suddenly, people were coming out of the woodwork liking and reblogging. My mind was blown and it made me want to make more fan art. Then I met @starry-nightengale who became one of my best friends on this site. We fangirled over “Blue Sky” and Portal over the next year which led to us co-writing “The Trial of the Bow” trilogy, a medieval/fairytale retelling of Portal, Portal 2, Blue Sky, and Portal Stories: Mel.

It was on Labor day weekend of 2015 when my internet went down inexplicably. My roommate who had the internet in her name was out of town yet again and I conceded that I would have to wait until she got back to get the issue resolved. The Trial of the Bow Trilogy was finished and I had just co-written with @the-royal-sketchbook a Half-life Medival/fairytale fanfic “The Legend of the Freeman.” However, my passion for Half-life was not as strong as it was for Blue Sky and I longed to do something else involving Wheatley, Chell, and the citizens of Eaden.

Most of the people that I encouraged to read Blue Sky did not have the time to invest into a novel length book. I longed to create something more accessible. A comic book/graphic novel of the story had been in the back of my mind for a long time, but when the desire rose up in me, the thought of “but you would have to do backgrounds and you suck at backgrounds” reared its ugly head.

But on that Labor day weekend, a thought occurred to me. “What if I did it as a comic? Very loose and simple. Something that I could do for fun without any heavy commitment.” So that weekend, I did a quick pencil drawing of the scene when Wheatley and Chell argue from Chapter 5. I threw some color on it and put it on tumblr and it got a great response. Then I did the scene when Chell transfers Wheatley into the hardlight avatar from Chapter 3. Another great response. It was simple and loose but people seemed to like it. I asked Starry what she thought about doing the whole story in such a way. If memory serves, she was for it but warned me not to get too far ahead of myself. If I did this, it would be a huge project and would take a lot of planning and forethought. BTW, good advice Starry ;)

After completing all of Chapter 1, I made the announcement, created the page, and the Blue Sky Web comic was born.

One of the things that helps me to recharge each week is drawing/working on art on Sunday afternoons. In the past, I had struggled to find things to work on, but no more. Sunday was now Blue Sky Comic day. I would post 2 panels and create 4 more. If I had extra time on holidays or days off I would get extra done. This system allowed me to consistently add to the project without feeling rushed or overwhelmed. I was able to get ahead so that I could take breaks for holidays, trips, computer problems, and eventually planning my wedding and getting married. The Blue Sky Web Comic became a constant in my life. Whenever I needed to decompress and just draw or color in panels, it was there.

In late summer of 2019, my Father was diagnosed with cancer. If any of you have walked through cancer with someone, you know how difficult and painful it can be. My husband and I took a trip to see my parents about once a month for the next 8 months. The drive was fairly long and was the perfect opportunity to work on what I called “pencil work” for the comic (sketching out the layout of each panel, a process that took the most concentration and time). Working on the comic helped to keep my mind off of things. Each time we visited my Dad his condition declined and being able to focus on something like the “pencil work” helped to make the trips better.

In spring of 2020, right before the COVID-19 lockdown, my Father passed away. It was right before that final trip that I finished the “Pencil work”. By then I had also made a lot of headway on the comic itself, with only a few chapters left to ink and color. I remember reading stories and blogs about how people made it through difficult times by focusing on a hobby, tv show, book, or music; not living in denial of the bad things, but just having something to help them take a break from it all. That was what the Blue Sky Comic was for me in those final days and I will always cherish how it was one of the things that helped me to make it through that difficult period in my life.

With the COVID-19 lockdown, I had some extra time to work on the comic and by late spring of 2020, I finished the last panel. It still kind of blows my mind. From 2015 to 2020 was how long it took to complete.

____________

To the 2000+ followers and those who replied, liked, reblogged, and sent messages, your words helped me to keep going when I wondered if it was worth it. Your kind thoughts helped me to know that this story is still enjoyed by people and Portal fans alike.

To @starry-nightengale, thank you for your advice at the beginning and your support and friendship along the way. Here’s to many more ^w^

And to @wafflebloggies, thank you for writing Blue Sky. It may seem overdramatic, but when I found this fic back in 2014, I was in a dark place and your story helped me hold onto the light. Even years later when faced with new trials, it helped me to focus on what was ahead. I truly believe that this story resonates with so many people because it taps into the most simple and profound truth: the most powerful love is selfless. And selfless love can conquer any difficulty. Also your support of the comic over the years made me smile with delight. I’m so glad you liked it :)

So that’s the story. I plan to do more audiobooks of the rest of the Trial of the Bow trilogy, but after that I’m going to be taking a nice long break from Blue Sky and Portal. I have a personal passion project that I am in the initial stages on. It's another web comic that I actually couldn’t have even considered doing if not for the experience I gained over the past 5 years. I’ll have updates on my personal tumblr for that project and the audiobooks, but for this page, The Blue Sky Web comic, this will be one of my final posts (aside from responding to any messages from you guys). Thank you all again for following. What an incredible journey this has been! This fandom is so amazing and I love you all. Take care and God bless. - Elvy

#blue sky portal #thanks again #it's been a wild ride #:'3

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retrievablememories · 4 years

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try again | ten

title: try again pairing: ten x black!reader genre: angst, hurt/comfort, fluff request: “Can I ask a dark Ten and his black wife having a miscarriage and feeling like she failed him in being a good wife and making him a father so she wants a divorce so he can be happy with someone else but he persists on being with her not matter what happens. Thanks for taking it!” word count: 2.9k warnings: mentions of a miscarriage, depression/grief, marital troubles a/n: my computer/photoshop is being raggedy as hell so i don’t have an actual banner pic or paragraph separators for now 😢 god. i ended up watching a 15 min youtube video about newborns b/c of this fic, tho, so that was fun

Seeing those two little lines was one of the happiest days of your life.

After trying for nearly a year and thinking it was never going to happen, you finally got a positive result. You took 5 tests to make sure you weren’t imagining things, but it was as real as it could possibly be. The doctor’s confirmation only sealed the deal.

To know that there was a small life growing inside you that you could call your own, made from both you and Ten’s DNA, was astounding to you. There were many nights where you simply laid in bed tracing shapes over your stomach, wondering what your child would be like and if they already knew how much you adored them. You especially loved it when Ten would lay his head on your chest and caress your stomach, speaking softly to both you and your growing child.

Some hidden part of you had wanted to be hesitant about celebrating this developing chapter of your life, not knowing if things would turn out alright since it had been so difficult to conceive before. Soon, though, you let that worry fade to the back of your mind in the face of your overwhelming joy. You filled your hours with thinking about baby names and baby nurseries and baby clothes, wanting to create the best life you possibly could for your little one.

You willed your fears not to get the best of you for once and instead poured all your energy into creating that reality. A reality that, unbeknownst to you both, wouldn’t come to pass.

You can still remember that blissful feeling now, if you concentrate hard enough and try to push past the pain. You hold onto that glimpse of happiness very tightly, drawing what you can from its memory until you can receive nothing more.

Back when you first lost the baby, Ten had promised you he could never be mad at you about it, even though you asked him over and over again—nearly everyday—if he was upset with you. Even then, he didn’t get angry with you asking all the time, which somehow made you feel worse. Like even more of a burden. You tried to stop asking about it, stop thinking about it, but his words weren’t quite enough to reassure you.

Despite your best efforts—from both you and him—the seed of doubt implanted itself in your mind anyway and slowly began festering there.

Where your bed once was a place where you dreamed about your future child, and even conceived them there, it’s now become something of a prison. A constant reminder of what happened and what won’t happen. The sheets are more like arms that suffocate you in their hold and keep you confined in a cocoon of pain. Despite your desire to be free of this cage that’s sprung up around you, you find it impossible to escape.

Whenever Ten is off at work, you continually ruminate on the past year of failures. Your one tiny hope and the end of its brief light, so quick that it’s difficult to remember how it happened. No, you don’t recall much from the day you were rushed to the hospital or how the miscarriage itself occurred, though you think maybe it’s better that way.

You’re somewhat grateful for how the human brain knows how to protect itself from trauma. Sometimes it’s the only way to survive. You find it incredibly ironic, though, how things we don’t remember still imprint themselves on our minds and souls. You experience the pain as acutely as if you’d been mentally present for it all.

The dark thoughts press in more closely whenever Ten is not next to you, though you never feel completely whole even when he is around to comfort you. Your mood worsens in the day, when he’s gone at work. You don’t even have your own work anymore to take your mind off of things, having taken a month off to recover. The worries that plague you during these hours make it hard to do much of anything but lie in bed and sleep.

You’re more grateful for his presence than he can know, but you also feel increasingly guilty when he’s the one who has to do most of the housework. If you had the energy or motivation to do it, you would; but right now, those feelings are lost to you. You keep hoping to yourself that you’ll find your way out of this dark place soon, even though you are more suffocated by it by the minute.

On a day where you find it especially difficult to keep the thoughts at bay, you contemplate many things.

What would it be like if you were no longer here? If Ten could find another wife who could actually give him what he so desired, without failing this time? He deserves that much, doesn’t he? To have a family of his own, even if it can’t be with you. Maybe you can’t have kids at all, and your short pregnancy was the only chance you had of conceiving. In that case, you reason that he should be able to go off and find someone else instead of you clinging so tightly to him, unable to let go.

It pains you to do it, but you begin writing a note for him to find later, too afraid to tell him out loud what you’ve been thinking and what you plan to do. You don’t know if anything you’re writing makes sense, but you feel like you have to do it either way; there’s no point in staying and making you both more miserable.

That night, Ten holds you as he falls asleep, like every other night. You stay awake for hours after he drifts off, turning your plan over in your head. A few tears drop from your eyes, but you quickly wipe them away, ignoring your own heartache. You’ve already set your mind to it.

When Ten gets home that Thursday, he’s surprised and a little panicked to see your car not in the driveway. It’s been sitting there for weeks, but now that it’s gone, it must mean you’ve went somewhere.

Maybe you’ve gathered enough strength to go out today and go shopping, something you always liked to do. A part of him suspects that isn’t the real answer, though, which only increases his anxiety. Maybe he’s just being paranoid, but he decides to check just in case.

He calls you, but it goes straight to voicemail. When he tries a few more times with the same result, his nervousness turns into full-blown panic. Unsure what to do, he decides to text you despite knowing he probably won’t get an answer.

6:25 P.M. Y/N are you okay? Where are you???

6:26 P.M. If you decided to go out today just text or call me back please, I just need to know you’re okay

6:26 P.M. I’m really worried

Ten finally gets out of the car and goes in the house, rushing up the stairs to your shared bedroom. He’s doubtful he’ll find anything there, but he needs some kind of answer for what’s going on. To his surprise, there’s a note lying on the bed.

Chittaphon,

I’m leaving for a while. Please don’t panic or be upset, I’ll be safe where I’m going. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you anything, but maybe it will be easier this way. I’m not sure if I can continue on like this. I have to think about some things. I want you to know that I’ve loved you since the first moment, but I don’t know if that’s enough anymore.

I did everything I could to help us form a life together, but I failed anyway. I hate myself for it. I don’t blame you if you hate me too, or if you’re only staying with me because you think I can’t make it on my own right now. I just want you to find happiness again, whether I’m there or not.

Y/N

Ten shakily sits on the bed, covering his mouth with his hand and closing his eyes tightly against the tears. The absolute stillness of the house without you in it is overbearing, and he puts his head between his knees as he tries to block the quiet out. He doesn’t move from that spot for a long time, and his head pounds from the blood rushing to his skull, but that discomfort is nothing compared to the turmoil stirring in his chest.

A loud knocking on the door startles you out of your sleep.

It’s only been a few days since you left your home with Ten, and you’ve kept your phone off and buried at the bottom of your suitcase since then. You had no intentions of talking even if he tried to contact you, and you eliminated that line of communication so you wouldn’t have to. It’s been your small hope that your actions have built up enough to make him hate you, to not want to contact you anymore, to agree to a divorce—although that thought brings you more pain all the same.

You stumble out of bed and into the hallway, and there’s an ensuing commotion on the other side of the hall as your parents come rushing out of their room. Your mother comes to your side with concern and panic on her face, grabbing your arm. “Y/N? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” you say, though you’re trembling a little from the sudden noise.

“I don’t know who the hell is banging on the door like that at this time of night, but let me tell you…” Your father curses under his breath as he heads to the living room to peek out the window and see who it is. He quickly comes back into the hallway with a puzzled expression. “Y/N, it’s your husband.”

“Chittaphon? I thought you said you both agreed it’d be best for you to come home for a little while? Why is he here at this hour?” Your mom gives you a wide-eyed look, waiting for your explanation, and your head begins to hurt from the hurricane of emotions you’re enduring.

Your fingers fidget as you try to steady your nerves enough to respond. “Please, just let me talk to him alone. I-I know why he’s here, but we have to talk…”

Ten bangs on the door again, and your dad gives a skeptical glance. “Are you sure?”

“It’s fine, I promise,” you say, gently ushering your parents back to their room. “Please, just let me handle this.” They look like they want to say or do something more, but they relent to your request and leave you in the hallway alone. Your mother glances at you from behind the door before closing it, though you notice she doesn’t shut it all the way.

When you open the door, Ten stands there looking at you from behind the screen door with distress written all over his face. The mesh screen obscures his features a bit, but you can still read him from a mile away. You immediately feel guilty, though you don’t make any move to open the door. You’ve already made your decision—but mostly for his sake.

Ten drops his backpack—the only thing he has with him—and presses his hands against the mesh as if he could touch you through it. You back up a little when he does, standing further away from the entrance. He sounds like he’s been running a marathon when he speaks. “Why did you leave?”

“Why are you here?”

“Y/N, I know there is only one place you’d go for sure in a situation like this. And I was right. Why did you leave?”

You shake your head. “I don’t think this is a good idea anymore.”

“What isn’t a good idea? Us being together?”

“We should get a divorce,” you say quietly, somewhat afraid of his reaction, though you still think it needs to be put out in the air.

Ten is lost for words, and he has to think for a few moments before speaking again. “Y/N. Just tell me this one thing. Do you hate me?”

You’re quiet for a moment. You want to tell him yes, to make this separation easier so he can forget about you and move on. But your throat tightens at the idea of letting that word pass your lips. Tears sting the backs of your eyes even though you silently beg them not to.

“No.” Your voice wavers a little when you respond. “I just...want you to be happy. I’m sure you read the note.”

“You’ve forgotten one thing. I can’t be happy without you.”

“But you were happy before you met me. You can do that again.”

Ten presses his forehead against the door, knowing he has to keep his patience even if he’s upset. “But we’re together now, and now that you’re in my life I don’t want you to ever leave.”

“Chittaphon, please. You don’t need me. The only thing I’ve done lately is be a burden to you.”

“Y/N. You know, I considered just letting you go wherever you needed to go to make things less painful for you. That’s the only reason I didn’t come up here immediately. I thought maybe you’d fallen out of love with me, didn’t want to see me again, and that I just needed to let you be for a while...but Y/N, I can’t be without you. I’m not going to leave my wife alone when she needs me the most—whether you’ll allow yourself to believe that or not.”

The first tears drop despite your resistance to them, and you have to struggle to talk through the knot in your throat. “But I-I couldn’t—I’ve been a terrible wife, I couldn’t give you the child you w-wanted, that we b-both wanted…” You lean against a nearby wall for stability as your body grows weaker. “We tried so hard for a year, and…”

Ten clings more tightly to the mesh, his own tears dripping from his chin. “Please open the door.” At this point you are too shattered to deny him, and you seek his comfort even though you feel undeserving of it.

When Ten finally coaxes you onto the porch, he pulls you straight into his arms and holds you close, allowing himself to simply breathe in the scent of your hair and skin. You both end up sinking to the wooden porch floor, with Ten embracing you.

“Y/N, I’m begging you to trust me. There’s no way I could hate or blame you for this,” he says quietly, your tears wetting each other’s skin. “Sometimes things happen that we don’t understand. That just means we have to get through them together.” He pulls back a little to make you look at him, his hands cradling your face. “We can always try again. This doesn’t have to be the end, Y/N.”

You nod slowly, looking into his despairing eyes. “I’m sorry.”

You allow him to bring your head to his chest—the same as he often did with you. His heartbeat thuds under your ear, and the sound makes you feel calmer than you’ve been in weeks. You sit together like that for a while, listening to the sounds of wildlife all around you and letting yourselves mend the broken pieces of each other.

You wake up to the sensation of a small, wiggling weight on your chest, and you’re confused as to what’s going on until you hear the sound of a familiar set of giggles. A smile crosses your face before you even open your eyes, and you reach your hand out to feel a bundle of soft, curly hair.

“Are you awake already? It’s so early.” More happy laughter is your response, and you finally let loose a chuckle of your own. You open your eyes to the sight of your 1-year-old son nose-to-nose with you, his warm breaths puffing across your face. He smiles and squeals loudly when he sees you looking at him, and you scoop him up into your arms to cuddle him close.

“Good morning my little boy,” you sigh, kissing the top of his head. He smells freshly-washed, so you know Ten must’ve given him a bath already. Your son is more interested in treating you like a playground and climbing all over you rather than lying in your arms, but you’re more than happy to let him play to his heart’s content.

The door to your bedroom opens soon after, the smell of breakfast drifting into the room. The bed sinks behind you as Ten climbs on, and your son squeals even louder at the sight of his father. Laughing, Ten picks the small boy up and nuzzles his face into his hair before turning to you.

“Hey sexy, breakfast is ready,” he says, leaning forward to kiss your cheek.

“Don’t flatter me, I haven’t even brushed my teeth yet,” you say this with a grin as Ten keeps kissing your face, with your son trying to get in between you so he can give you kisses too. You wrap your arms around both of them and you all huddle up in a heap on the bed, laughing and falling over each other. In this moment, you have little doubt that you’re the happiest person in the world.

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cross-d-a · 3 years

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Pass the happy!💖 When you get this, reply with 5 things that make you happy and send this to the last 10 people in your notifications!

(I have decided that Discord notifs count because I love you dearly and wanna hear what makes you happy)

HELLO!!!! I love you and I kinda really needed this and I think you know that so thank you!!!!! I love and appreciate you SO MUCH!!

Also I've literally been thinking about this post for two hours and so I'm not gonna stick to just five- I'm gonna list MORE than that because I wanna remind myself that there are many wonderful things in the world to be happy about and also PICS!! I'm adding PICS bc I CAN!!!!!!!!!

under the cut bc it gets LONG! :)

1) YOU make me happy, Sierra!!!!!!! Also @s1utspeare and @vishcount and of course my bff @haru-tl !!! You guys are so fucking incredible and talented and AMAZING!!!! I love you all SO MUCH!!! You always make my day!!! And all the dmbj peeps!!! I am so lucky to know so many wonderful people!!!!

2) as long as we're on the subject of people- I absolutely can't leave out my coworkers!!! Literally some of the best people I've ever met in my life. I have so much fun with them. I can always count on them making me laugh.

Like today, we were talking about this reptile house a few towns away and my manager was telling us about their cool anaconda exhibit where you can crawl under the glass tank and watch them eat and she mentioned their teeth being scary. So I googled Anaconda Teeth and went WOAH THEY'RE COOL and our Resident Snake Expert came over and went actually that pic is from the movie Anaconda. And then he helped me find Real Pics and the teeth were even COOLER. I left the Google search up on the work computer and a couple hours when I was on lunch I heard Mike exclaim: "I had NO idea that ANACONDAS had TEETH!!!!!!" Which?? MIKE?? WHAT??? Hahaha everyone burst into laughter :)

3) my cat BOOTS makes me happy!! He's always asking for belly scritches and he drools when he's happy. Here's a pic bc I adore him:

4) my new baby boy So Mun from The Uncanny Counter makes me VERY happy!!!!! He's just- the Sweetest Boy to have ever Baby'd!!! I adore his little crinkly-eyed smile and curly hair!!! He's just so GOOD it makes me cry!! Also!! Disabled rep!!!!! LOVE HIM!!!!! Look at his lil' FACE:

and bc he is Unfortunately Very Hot in his mourning outfit:

adding this too bc LOOK AT THAT ADORABLE SMILE I wanna SCREAM

5) my Pangzi necklace makes me happy!!! I have an Iron Triangle matching set, but the Pangzi one I first put on bc of Brigid's Pangzi chapter for Swiftly Tilting and then I kinda just- never took it off haha. It's just so pretty and makes me feel like I've got a bit of Pangzi with me at all times. I love that man SO much and if I can be even a fraction of how wonderful he is, then I can die happy

6) the smell of the sea makes me happy!!! It makes me feel refreshed and relaxed! I live by Puget Sound and on very lucky days I can smell it at my house! Tonight was a lucky night! I came home and it smelled like the seashore, so I kept my window open as I folded laundry :)

7) my new collection of Kpop CDs makes me happy!! It's entirely bc of Vish's influence and I LOVE her for it!!! The packaging is just so pretty and I always love being able to hold things that give me Good Feelings in my hands :)

8) since we're on the subject of COLLECTIONS, I love to collect things!! And one collection of things that makes me happy are my books!! I have- too many. Working in a bookstore makes it too easy to buy them! But seeing the bright spines on my shelves gives me delight. I particularly really like my queer manga collection!! I've got four whole shelves of it! :) I'd offer a pic but I'm too tired to go upstairs, haha but I love the art and the representation 🌈

9) I ALSO really love all the figures I collect! Seeing characters that I love on a daily basis makes me happy. I usually decorate my bookshelves with them. One set that makes me particularly happy are my Pingxie ones. They look like they're getting married and it delights me:

10) another purchase that is entirely bc of Vish (I ADORE you!!) is my Chimmy blanket!! He's just so adorable and bright and coming home every day to see him waiting on my bed makes me very happy

11) yet another bright yellow thing that makes me happy is my dmbj Xiao Ge coaster!! It's so sparkly and fun AND it's a friendship coaster I share with Sierra!! We've got a matching set, babe!! I love you!! Let's just shake them around and be distracted by the sparkles forever!!

12) coming back to work from my weekend to find a bunch of manga to shelve always makes me very happy!!! Buying/pricing/shelving manga is my favourite thing to do at work! I love seeing familiar and new titles!

And it's interesting to see how prices can change if it goes out of print! Sometimes every single book in a series but ONE is the same price. Like last month we had a series where like/ volume 8 was worth $250 vs the regular $7.99 for the rest of them. And someone BOUGHT IT!! Things like that can happen randomly. It can be bc it was a smaller printing for that particular volume. OR something special happens in it (new character appearance/fan favourite story arc/BOOBS), so more ppl want to keep it which means it's harder to come by (and then sellers raise their prices BC it's difficult to come by). You usually see the collectible value go up for out of print BL or older series like Aria or Lupin III. Not everything that's out of print is collectible, but it's always interesting when it is :)

13) DAY6's The Book of Us: Gravity has graciously given me a big serotonin boost the last couple days!! It's just- I dunno! Uplifting! Catchy! Full of energy! :)

14) similarly, I've been listening to Close Your Eyes by Isaac Hong almost exclusively for like- five days now! It's from The Uncanny Counter and it makes me very happy! It's very emotional and just reminds me of my baby boy So Mun :)

15) sunshine makes me happy!! I'm at that point in the year where I don't want rain anymore, just sun! So it's always nice having my windows open at home with the sun shining through. Or the back doors at work propped open while we go about our day. It's almost impossible to feel sad when you get to bask in the warmth of the sun and smell the nice fresh air

16) finding weird random books at work makes me happy! It's so fun seeing the kinds of things people read! And sometimes you find cool ephemera in the things people sell to us that they don't want back. Like- look at this pic from an older fortune-telling birthday book I found. She is 1000% Drowning Him and I love that for her :)

17) reading manga makes me happy. There are just so many wonderful and ridiculous series out there. There really is nothing "too weird to publish" in the manga world. I was reminded of this the other day when I discovered a series about a girl who timetravels and finds out that her soulmate is a Neanderthal. You can literally find a series about ANYTHING in the manga world and I love that about it. There's no limit to the imagination and there's something for everyone :)

18) when I'm in the mood, writing and drawing make me happy. There's just something about creating that really just- fills the soul :)

19) making playlists makes me happy!! I love having playlists for characters and relationships and fics and even specific fic chapters or moods or going to sleep! (And rec playlists! Like Vish's :) ) It's just- so satisfying having the Perfect Playlist on hand! Plus it's fun actually making them- like figuring out the mood/lyrics and what they fit into :) I listen to music almost constantly, so this is essential! :)

So thank you Sierra!! It was nice to remind myself about a lot of different things that bring joy to my life!! I love and adore you SO MUCH 💖💖💖

#cross talks #ask #ask game #kinda?????????#good stuff

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toxoiddiamond · 3 years

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T H E B A S I C S Given Name: Rafael Caleb Isserlis Nicknames: His family all call him Ray, but most people just call him Rafael. Age: 30 Birthday: June 6th Zodiac Sign: Gemini Birthplace: Sunnyvale, California Current Location: Barcelona, Spain Speaks: English, Spanish, some Castilian, a bit of Hebrew but not much. Dominant Hand: Right Education: He graduated from UC Berkeley with a Bachelor of Arts degree. His original focus was Computer Software Engineering, but he switched his focus to Drawing and Painting in his sophomore year. Occupation: Bouncer at a strip club, and he has been working on a comic book with a friend (Rafael is working on the art, and his friend is the writer/story creator) for about a year. They hope to publish and sell it at some point soon. Vehicle: 2003 Opel Zafira in silver. Not the most attractive car, but he got it for cheap and it has been very reliable for him. Worldly Possessions: Lots of art supplies, a bunch of comic books, tons of dog toys, a photo album full of family pictures (put together for him by his mother before he moved to Spain), and tons of blankets and pillows because he loves to be comfy~ Pet(s): A black and white Mucuchi named Oreo. Rafael loves taking Oreo pretty much anywhere that dogs are allowed, and Oreo is always very happy to go on adventures.

A P P E A R A N C E Height: Just under 6’ Hair: He generally keeps it trimmed short just because it is easier to take care of, though he occasionally grows it out a little longer so the curls really show. He’s never dyed it before, so it is his natural dark brown color. Facial Hair: He always has at least a little bit of facial hair, even if it’s just some light scruffiness. He does like to let it grow out more sometimes. Eye Colour: Brown with some flecks of hazel Skin Tone: Dark, though the tone varies depending on the time of year. He is quite a bit darker in the warmer months thanks to his love of the outdoors. Clothing: He dresses casually for the most part, lots of jeans and t-shirts (especially band tees). If he’s working, he might wear a nice jacket as well. He almost always wears combat boots, unless he’s going running or hiking, then he’ll wear comfy sneakers. He loves wearing beanies, especially in colder weather, and he has them in a bunch of different colors. Although he doesn’t have much reason to dress up, he does look great in a suit and has some nice clothes on hand just in case. Distinguishing Marks: He has a couple of large tattoos on his chest, and a half sleeve on his left arm. He plans on getting more tattoos at some point, but he hasn’t decided what he wants or where. Face Claim: Jordan Calloway

H E A L T H Physical Health: Rafael is in excellent health– he loves doing any sort of physical activity, especially if it involves being outdoors, so he's very fit. He works out on a regular basis and eats quite healthy (though he's not opposed to a little junk food now and then). He gets sick now and then, just minor things like a cold or a mild case of the flu, but he's never been seriously sick or anything. Basically, Rafael takes great care of himself. Physical Abilities/Limitations: He can lift very heavy things thanks to his weight training at the gym. He's got good endurance/stamina– he can hike or run for quite a long time before needing a break. He's a good artist with a very distinctive style; he is constantly drawing, doodling on napkins, just keeping his hands busy whenever he can. Addictions: No addictions to speak of. Allergies: Citrus in general makes his mouth hurt, but sometimes he eats it anyway because he just can't resist. Mental Health: Generally good. He had a very stable upbringing with lots of supportive friends and family around. He is lucky enough to never have experienced any sort of mental illness or any really traumatic events in his life.

H I S T O R Y Summary: Rafael was born in Sunnyvale, California to wealthy parents (his mother is an OB/GYN, and his father is a very successful software engineer). He was the fourth of five children. He grew up surrounded by a very loving family, including much of his extended family, and had a near idyllic childhood. Growing up, Rafael always showed an aptitude for art– he was quite a skilled artist from a young age, but he also had a deep interest in his father’s work and loved all things to do with technology. He taught himself to code when he was about twelve years old and even made a couple of very basic games just to practice. Rafael was always a great student, not exactly straight A’s since he had a bit of a hard time in his literature classes and some of the more complicated math classes, but he never got any grades lower than a B, and he always tried his hardest and studied a lot, did extra credit whenever he could, etc. He also always had a lot of friends and was a bit girl crazy in high school, so he was always dating a new girl. He was on his high school’s soccer team as well– the PE coach always wanted him to go out for the football team, but Rafael hated football and still does, so he never bothered, preferring to use the time to do various volunteer projects or just hang out with his friends. Thanks to his excellent GPA and a wealth of extracurriculars and volunteer experience, Rafael had an easy time getting accepted into UC Berkeley. He initially majored in Computer Software Engineering, as he’d always planned– but after a trip across Europe with some of his friends just before his Sophomore year of college, he had a shift in perspective and realized that he really wanted to focus on his art after all. He changed his major to focus on Drawing and Painting, which was a bit of a surprise to his family, but they were, as always, very supportive of his decision, especially since it turned out he wouldn’t lose any progress toward his degree. After graduating, Rafael decided to do what he’d always wanted to do and live abroad. He decided on living in Spain, since he had taken nearly eight years of Spanish between high school and college and was almost fluent at that point. He spent a few years just travelling around Spain, exploring, working odd jobs, meeting people, just having a good time. Eventually he ended up settling in Barcelona after meeting a particularly good group of people, finding himself a quaint little house in the heart of the city, and getting a job as a bouncer in a local strip club. He has been there ever since. Job History: He didn't have his first job until college– he worked as a barista at a Starbucks on campus for his entire college career, which he actually really enjoyed. Once he moved to Spain and started traveling around, he did tons of odd jobs helping out with manual labor, working in restaurants, helping out around people's houses, doing yard work, just anything he could find that didn't require a lot of commitment. Once he settled in Barcelona, he took a job as a bouncer in a strip club because it paid decently well and fit into his schedule very nicely– that is where he's been ever since. Fondest Memories: Lots of happy childhood memories, too many to list actually. One of his fondest memories is his trip across Europe with his college friends. Plus all his adventures across Spain and the various times his sister Eliana has come to visit him. Worst Experiences: His paternal grandparents both died in a car accident when Rafael was fourteen, and that was probably the single worst experience of his life. A couple of his breakups were particularly rough on him as well.

C O M M U N I C A T I O N Speech Pace/Style: Definitely not a smooth talker, but not super awkward either (unless he’s trying to flirt). He’s laid back when he speaks, not overly formal, always seems pretty relaxed (again, unless he is attempting to flirt). He doesn’t talk excessively, but he’s not quiet or shy either, always loves to jump into a conversation, especially if it’s about a subject he’s interested in. If someone gets him started on a subject he’s passionate about, he gets very animated and excited about it. Accent: American accent, which sometimes comes through in his Spanish– though his Spanish accent, for the most part, is pretty good. Favorite Phrases or Words: He says “oh snap!” a lot when speaking English, something that rubbed off on him thanks to his younger sister. Usual Curse Words: He doesn’t curse a whole lot– it’s not that he’s offended by cursing or anything, he just kind of doesn’t think to curse unless he’s angry or really passionate about something.

P E R S O N A L I T Y, M I N D S E T, A N D B E L I E F S Personality Type: ENFP-A Sense of Humor: Rafael loves to laugh and has a pretty open sense of humor. The only type of humor he doesn’t vibe with is super offensive or raunchy/sexual humor, that’s just not his thing. But anything silly, clever, wordplay or puns, non-sequitur/weird humor, all of that is totally his cup of tea. Habits: Rafael is a bit fidgety and always has to be doing something with his hands. He can be still if he actively focuses on not fidgeting, but it's a little difficult for him. He's constantly drawing on napkins or little pieces of paper, on himself, and on others if they'll let him. If he doesn't have a pen handy then he'll crack his knuckles or he'll kinda rock back and forth on the balls of his feet. He just really cannot hold still unless his mind is fully occupied with something. Fears/Phobias: The whole idea of ghosts or demons really freaks him out. He also sometimes has a touch of existential dread and wonders if he’s going to be alone forever, but that usually doesn’t last long, just a sleepless night or two and then he gets past it. Strengths: Rafael is a very caring, sweet person who is genuinely interested in other people and loves to help whenever he can. He is attentive to people’s needs and tends to anticipate those needs in advance, so he is quite a thoughtful person. In general, he’s an optimist who likes to look on the bright side of things no matter how bad the situation may get and tries not to let the little things get him down. He is also very protective of those he loves, and though he is friendly to people almost all of the time, if anyone is rude to or tries to hurt someone he cares about, he won’t hesitate to speak up on behalf of or physically protect his loved one. Flaws: While his optimism is often a positive trait, Rafael sometimes takes it too far and doesn’t allow himself to just be sad or angry now and then, even when it would be good for him. He tends to suppress any emotion he perceives as negative instead of actually processing his feelings. In relationships, he can be a bit possessive and jealous at times, but he knows that’s his own problem and he really tries not to take it out on his partners. Hopes/Desires: He really hopes to get his comics published at some point– he just really wants to get them out there, even if they don’t get super popular or anything, he’s just really proud of their work and wants people to see it. He also really wants to find someone he can settle down with (or go on adventures with), someone he can spoil with tons of love and affection. He would love to get married and maybe have kids someday, but if his partner didn’t want children he would be okay with that also. Self-Esteem: Super good, honestly. He has his moments of insecurity just like anyone else, but overall he is comfortable with himself and believes himself to be a good person. Religion: Kinda Jewish, kinda atheist. It’s complicated.

R A N D O M Sleeping Position: Curled up on his right side, usually. Boxers or Briefs?: Boxers Day or Night?: Night for sure, he is naturally a night owl. Top or Bottom?: Probably top more than anything, but if he was with a partner that wanted to switch it up, he would happily give it a try~ Partying or Relaxing?: This would be a really hard choice for him, but he would probably have to go with partying. He loves the atmosphere of a good party.

R E L A T I O N S H I P S Closest Friend: Besides his younger sister, Rafael's best friend is Isabel Maduro, a woman he met when he moved to Barcelona. They have been working together on a comic book series for a while now; she is a very talented writer who comes up with stories that blow Rafael's mind. They see each other fairly often not just to work on the comics, but to go on walks or out to lunch, or on the occasional hike. Relationship History: Rafael had a ton of relationships in high school, many of which lasted two weeks or less and obviously those relationships didn't get serious at all– Rafael was just kind of playing the field at that point. He didn't actually have sex, or a serious relationship, until his first year of college. He then dated his first serious girlfriend, and they lasted about six months before she broke things off because she felt he was more attached than she was and she didn't want to waste his time. That is actually how all of Rafael's relationships have gone since then– he always gets broken up with before a year has passed (often much sooner than that) because they're not as into him as he is into them, or he's just too much, being too intense, etc. As a result, he's now reluctant to express his feelings at all because he doesn't want to put pressure on anyone. Sexual Partners: Rafael doesn't exactly get around or anything, but he has had about a dozen sexual partners in his life, all of them women. Thoughts About Sex: Rafael loves sex within the confines of a relationship but doesn't have much interest in it other than that. One night stands, flings, anything like that is not for him. So far, Rafael has only been with women. He's been attracted to men before and he knows he's definitely not straight, but he's always been way too nervous to try and flirt with men. He has never come out to anyone but if he were to end up in a relationship with a man, he wouldn't hesitate to come out– his sister Eliana is a lesbian and currently engaged to another woman, and was readily accepted by their family, so he knows they would all support him if he ever told them.

P A R E N T S Name(s): Shira and Booker Isserlis Age(s): Both 64 years old. Social Standing: White collar for sure, and they are in very good social standing. Occupation(s): She is an OB/GYN who is set to retire in a couple of years, and he is a computer software engineer who doesn’t plan to retire anytime soon. Religion: She is Jewish and he is agnostic, but does observe/celebrate Jewish holidays and events. Quality of Relationship With Their Children: They love and support all of their children unconditionally. They do worry about Rafael sometimes just because he’s more of a wanderer than their other children, he’s a bit more aimless, but they know he can take care of himself. Living/Deceased: Both alive and in excellent health.

S I B L I N G (S) Name(s): Daniel Isserlis, Itai Isserlis, Tamar Huang, and Eliana Isserlis (soon to be Eliana Florakis). Age(s): 34, 32, 31, 29. Yes, their parents basically had all of their children back to back. Social Standing: They have all done very well for themselves, and are all in good social standing. Occupation(s): Daniel is a software engineer and works with their father. Itai is a forensic accountant and he has helped to arrest many white collar criminals. Tamar runs a non-profit organization that helps underprivileged children by providing housing, food, education/tutors, and after school activities. And Eliana is an event planner who specializes in weddings. Religion: Daniel and Tamar are still devoutly Jewish. Itai and Eliana are more like Rafael– they appreciate and enjoy aspects of Judaism but they don’t really believe in it. Quality of Relationship with Character: Rafael loves all of his siblings and would do just about anything for them, but he is definitely the closest with Eliana out of all of them. He really only sees/talks to his other siblings a few times a year, but he talks to Eliana all the time. Living/Deceased: All alive.

D A I L Y L I F E Living Arrangements: He lives in a cute little one bedroom house right in the heart of the city, on a very busy street. He loves being right in the middle of everything, so it’s ideal for him. The place was a bit rundown when he first bought it, but he has fixed it up quite a bit and although no one would say it’s luxurious or anything, it’s definitely nice and comfortable. He loves having guests over and has lots of seating and a large TV, plus a pull-out couch in the living room just in case anyone stays the night, not to mention a spacious king sized bed in his room.

#character: rafael isserlis #ship: razio #character sheet

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bangtanloverboys · 4 years

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thought trade (i) // jjk

summary - In a world where soulmate systems exist, you get one of the strangest ones you can think of. You speak your soulmates thoughts without any regard for context and that’s your only hint. At first it’s a bit strange, as you start blurting out random Korean phrases and stuff but one day you get so fed up that you start cursing at the world for giving you the most useless systems there is. It isn’t until you check twitter and see that a certain K-Pop Idol is trending for a random outburst in English that’s your words. . .

pairing - idol!jungkook x gender neutral!reader

genre - fluff; soulmate au

word count - 4.2k

warnings - none

author’s note - the reader in this fic in gender neutral and when there’s italics it means they’re talking in korean. also this is the first story i’ve published publicly in 6 years, if you’ve noticed anything about this fic grammarwise, please tell me and i’ll correct it.

part ii

You honestly don’t know what you expected when you turned 20 as you awaited for your soulmate system to show. Most common it was tattoos that showed up, your soulmates first words or birthdays. The lucky ones got to share thoughts or perhaps even see each other in dreams but none of that happened to you. No, soon as you turned 20 nothing really changed. It wasn’t until 2 weeks later when you were out having dinner with some friends and you just blurted out a random full sentence in full Korean.

You were confused. You didn’t speak Korean at all, you could barely speak Spanish from the 4 years you took it in high school. So how in the world did you say. . .whatever you said without any prior knowledge. The friend you were having dinner with suggested it was your soulmate system. But you’ve never heard of a system that would have you blurt out Korean. Keeping the soulmate system in mind though, you decided to seek out a sort of soulmate doctor.

With soulmate systems becoming more and more common, they were confusing to the people that had the system as well as the people around them, so some people have taken it upon themselves to study and record different types of soulmate systems to help understand. Very next day after your Korean dinner burst, you google the nearest one and book an appointment for the following week.

You still had no idea what you’re saying so you’ve started a habit of keeping a voice memo recorder on you at all times recording every single thing you say or hear throughout the day. You’ve gone through three so far and only caught one outburst. You managed to roughly translate a few words: Army, dance, and concert. You have no idea about any of the context behind those words but you’d have to wait before you’d get any answers.

Finally your appointment with the soulmate doctor rolls around and you explained your situation, how you randomly burst out in Korean and how you have no idea what to do with what’s going on or how to communicate with your soulmate. The doctor frowned upon hearing your description. Turning to her computer, she began to type in your system attributes.

“Well, your system is fairly unique, I’ll say that for sure.” She responded, as she turned back to face you. “What I mean is, there have only been about 3 or 4 other cases with systems similar to yours. It’s called thought trade. You’re speaking your soulmates thoughts or words. As for the Korean bit, your soulmate is Korean and that’s as much as I can tell.”

“Is there any way I can control it? To a point where I don’t randomly blurt out stuff in another language?” You asked, desperate for any sort of solution. The three times you burst out were very embarrassing and the looks you got made you feel weird and shameful.

“Hmm, soulmate systems have only been known to let up until after the fact you’ve met. As for controlling? The only record we have of that is pressing enough thought to a point where you can force them to say it. Other than that, no, I’m sorry.”

You left the soulmate doctor feeling a bit dejected. You honestly didn’t know what to do about this; soulmate systems were supposed to make finding your soulmate easier and this didn’t seem to help you get anywhere. The only logical thing you could think of was to start taking a Korean language class at your college. Before the first class had started, you were sure to explain to your professor your reasoning behind taking the course. Thankfully, he was very understanding and promised he’d help you personally with any translations if needed.

After a few classes you finally had an outburst in class. Everyone in your class turned to stare at you in confusion, clearly whatever you said wasn’t a part of class and you felt your face grow red. The looks of their faces made you want to curl up under your desk and hide until the end of class. Your professor took liberty to explain to the class that it was your soulmate system upon seeing your embarrassment; to which your fellow classmates were understanding.

“Y/N, if it’s alright with you, may I incorporate your outburst into the lesson.” You gave a small nod as he clasped his hands together. “Alright, can anyone guess or translate what Y/N, or moreso, what their soulmate said?” He asked the lecture class, a few people raised their hands. He pointed to one of the guys in the front row. “Yes, Jay?”

“They said ‘I don’t know why I’m speaking like I don’t know my own language, hyung!’” Jay responded, before turning to look at you at your desk. “Perhaps he caught on to you learning the language and you’re mispronouncing some things?”

“He?” You question, you’ve never known the gender of your soulmate, so with Jay using the male pronouns you were rightfully taken back.

“Yeah, he said hyung. That’s the honorific he used.” He responded. Once the professor confirmed that is in fact what your soulmate said, he resumed the class yet you barely paid attention. For as little as it was, you had something. A clue.

As the months passed, the outbursts became more and more common happening at least twice every other week. Fortunately, your Korean had improved enough for you to start translating your bursts on your own. Some of it was a bit difficult to understand as to what he was talking about as it varied from a bunch of things like fire being too hot, and leaves falling down. Other times it was stuff about body aches.

Your classmate Jay had slowly become a blessing in your life when it came to further trying to understand your outbursts and your soulmate system in general. After your first outburst in class, he approached you and asked you a couple more questions about your system. He admittedly was interested in the many vast different types that existed and had never heard of yours before. He had offered his help on translating and thus your friendship began.

The semester was finally drawing to a close and you had Jay over to help study for the Korean final when you had another burst about the army, something about purple, and food. If you were completely honest, you were getting fed up with it. “I’m honestly tired of it! Why the fuck does nothing he say make sense! I’m already learning another fucking language to understand whatever the fuck he’s talking about but what he says doesn’t make sense!” You shouted, completely frustrated with the entire situation. “I’m still completely clueless as to who my soulmate is! And he’s not giving me any hints!”

Jay merely sat in silence as you sat back down, cooling down after your little meltdown. “Feel better after that?”

“Yes, a little bit.” You sighed, “Sorry you had to . . . witness that though.”

“No problem, honestly, I think you are being given hints they’re just too. . .vague to connect them.” He said in an attempt to reassure you.

“You on his side or mine here?” You retorted, eliciting a chuckle from your friend. “I just. . .want to strangle him sometimes.”

“I would too, if I had your system. I got lucky though, I just doodle on my arm and it shows up on her arm.” He smiled proudly as he looked at his forearm. He really was lucky when it came to having a soulmate system. Jay had been able to quickly locate his soulmate within a matter of hours after his system made itself apparent. His soulmate, Jenna, lived in Canada and he had plans on flying over to meet her for Hanukkah.

“Can we put a pin in this study session until tomorrow? After that, I’m exhausted and don’t think I can look at another sentence without getting angry at him.” You huffed as you leaned back on your couch.

“Yeah, final ain’t till next week. Call me if anything happens.” He assured you as he started collecting his things.

Once he was gone, you pulled out your phone and opened twitter. You barely use it unless to check up on some random celebrities tweets or check random news stuff. Upon opening the trending page, the top trend catches your eye:

JUNGKOOK SOULMATE

As someone with a weird soulmate system, you’re intrigued with what’s going on with this ‘Jungkook’. Upon opening the hashtag, you learned he is a sort of K-Pop idol, now you don’t know a lot about the music industry of the language of your soulmate so you decided to leave it, but before you close it you come across a video of said Jungkook from a livestream. He’s this cute guy that can’t be any older than you with brown hair that’s swept over his eyes and staring into the camera lovingly. He’s sitting in a hotel room and he’s just talking in Korean, and you vaguely understand what he’s talking about. He’s talking about his day, the food he’s tried lately, and addresses the viewers as ARMY. Then in the middle of a sentence about an interview he bursts out in full English “I’m still completely clueless as to who my soulmate is! And he’s not giving me any hints!” before he slapped his hands over his mouth and scrambled to the camera to end the livestream.

Those were your words. He said your words.

He’s your soulmate?

You swipe more down the tag and you see a bunch of stuff about theories about what his system might be. You come across a thread of several times his voice was bleeped out in a bunch of videos, while fans assumed it was swearing they began theorizing it was his soulmate system and he didn’t want them to hear him talk about things that probably didn’t make any sense.

That didn’t help you on your part. Now you only have one piece of evidence that proves he’s your soulmate. Exiting the app, you moved to google and see if you could find anything else about this Jungkook and low and behold, more photos of the cute guy from the video clip was there and you frantically called Jay.

“I just left what’s up-”

“I found him.”

“You what? You found him?” Jay was astonished to say the least, especially since less than 10 minutes ago you were cursing him out over not knowing who he was.

“Either I found him or I’m having a nervous breakdown.” You chuckled nervously as you began pacing back and forth in your living room.

“Okay, I’m coming back over.” You heard him turn and make his way back over to your apartment. “Who is he?”

“This sounds. . . completely insane but like. . he’s a K-Pop Idol named Jungkook, whoever the fuck he is, he’s my soulmate and I have no fucking idea how to get to him now.”

“Wait wait wait, slow down. Jeon Jungkook, of BTS, is your soulmate?” Jay inquired, “How did you find that out?”

“Well apparently the universe heard me complaining about not having a clue and went BAM ‘Here’s your clue’.” You still couldn’t believe this was real. Of all people that had to be your soulmate, he was it. You opened your mouth to speak again but instead of English, Korean toppled over your lips. One word that mainly stuck out was ‘I’m sorry’. “I think he’s in trouble. Fuck, I got him in trouble.” You hadn’t even met the guy and you were already causing problems for him. Or maybe this wasn’t new at all, maybe you’d gotten him in trouble before?

“Open the door, I’m outside.” You ran to the door and wrapped your arms around your friend. To say you were overwhelmed and scared, didn’t cover half of it. You knew who he was now, but now had no idea who you were and now you were clueless as to how you can even get to see him!

The next day and a half, instead of studying for your Korean final, you made it your business to find out anytime you could on Jungkook. As you watched some of the music videos, slowly more and more of what you’ve said in the past made sense. The weird sayings that you thought were completely random were song lyrics, the complaints about muscle pains made more sense when you saw how intense and hard they all danced. The “army” you constantly burst about was the fanbase they had, ARMY. You were given clues, you were just too stupid to use google once in a while.

Meanwhile, your outbursts have gotten more and more frequent. Happening almost twice a day. You could almost feel Jungkook’s concern and fear behind his thoughts because apparently BigHit was really good at hiding their idols’ soulmate systems and with your one outburst you ruined it for him.

ARMY slowly became a concern for you on your side because apparently a site of soulmate systems crashed because so many people were frantically searching for what his system might be. Once people found out about the rare thought trade system, almost daily you saw on Twitter of people claiming to be his soulmate. Those were easily debunked as the impostors were either too young to even get their soulmate system or the phrases they said in Korean were badly pronounced. Usually one of those two or they didn’t speak English fluently. That was the only clue ARMY had about their Golden Maknae’s soulmate, you spoke English.

You thought quietly to yourself, trying to push a thought to Jungkook about being sorry about this happening and that you weren’t posting any videos on Twitter, because either way you wanted him to know you were you and not give him the wrong idea. You don’t know if he got the message until several hours later when you were getting out of the shower and in perfect English said, “I understand.” You smiled, happy he got the message and you were able to connect to him at least in some way.

A full month after the “live burst” as ARMY dubbed it, you (and Jungkook) were able to decipher with the fact that you could only get each other's thoughts when you were extremely emotional, which explained the live situation. Sometimes if you thought really long and hard you could push the message across but that was usually hit or miss. It was currently winter break and Jay was currently on his way back from Canada when he called you.

“Pack your bags.”

“Uh, nice to hear from you too, Jay. I’m doing great. Why should I pack my bags?” You rolled your eyes as his demand.

“Because my dear YN, for Christmas I got you tickets to go see BTS on Jimmy Fallon-”

“You fucking what!? First of all that’s all the way in fucking New York City! Second of all, fucking wHAT?!” You screamed into the phone, a bit flinching seeing how you probably just got Jungkook to yell at the top of his lungs.

“Listen to me, YN. This is crazy yeah, but it’s like, the only chance we can get for you two to meet. Hence why I got you a round trip ticket to New York. You’re welcome,” the smugness evident in his voice.

“Jay. . .I can’t believe you’d do this for me? All I got you was socks, you can’t just buy me a plane ticket!”

“Jenna helped pay for it if it makes you feel better, we both want you to get your man. It’s our gift to you. Now go pack, the show is in two days and you leave tomorrow morning. We also got you a hotel ticket. You’re going to be there at least 5 days at least. Have fun!”

Soon as the call ended, you felt like you were going to cry. Was this going to work? You had no idea. “New York City? You go?” You heard your voice speak.You quickly thought back a yes for him and scrambled to your room to pack. You threw together your best and nice clothes to wear at the show and as you were getting ready for bed you heard yourself say “See you maybe.” You smiled as you tucked yourself in, wanting to be asleep as soon as possible in order to leave.

You barely slept that night, to a degree was somewhat okay because you could always sleep on the plane. You left two hours before your flight with the information that Jay had forwarded to you, and soon enough you were seated outside your gate waiting for your flight to be called. Seconds seemed like hours as you waited, you just wanted to get to New York as soon as possible and see Jungkook. Live and in person, right in front of you. But then it came to you, Jungkook had no idea what you looked like. So you came up with a little plan for the opportunity to arise.

After you came up with a plan, you saw on your VLIVE app, after the live burst last time you decided to download the app to be sure you didn’t have another repeat, you would simply sit in silence as you watched your soulmate talk but after the outburst, it seems he was limited from going live. But he was allowed to go live with other members because there he was with Jimin, sitting and talking to ARMY. After a sudden lack of Jungkook, the chat was spammed with questions about his soulmate and his system but he avoided that entirely. You watched them as you waited for your flight to be called, they playfully bickered about some dumb little game they were playing.

After nearly an hour, your flight was called and you decided to leave one message in the chat. ‘See you maybe.’ You watched for a few seconds as Jungkook scanned the chat. He saw his eyes light up a bit and open his mouth but before he said anything you had already closed the app. You couldn’t reopen it now as you were steps away from boarding your plane. You made your way to your seat and put your phone on airplane mode. The flight attendants went over the safety precautions but you didn’t hear a word they said for you were so close to Jungkook now.

Soon enough the plane took off and you put in your earbuds and played some of your already downloaded music, including some of BTS and more specifically Jungkook’s solo songs and covers. While you did love and appreciate the other members and their talent, you obviously had to be biased to your literal soulmate. His soothing voice lulled you to sleep and sure enough you slept the entire flight to New York City.

Soon as you landed you made your way over to baggage claim and called an uber to your hotel. You were getting more and more antsy to the point you were giggling like a maniac. “You okay?” Your voice spoke up. Okay, maybe you were getting too excited by this. You laughed a bit and thought back that you were just excited. You unpacked your things and then decided to check through twitter, and of course, Jungkook was trending again. Clicking on it you see a clip of the live stream after you commented and left. Jungkook’s eyes lit up and he said “You too”, you chuckled and scrolled through and saw a bunch of people’s theories as to who his soulmate is and as his response to your comment was vague, no one pointed to you.

After a few hours of mindlessly scrolling and watching videos, getting to know what these people thought of Jungkook. He was very important to these people and you couldn’t help but be a little scared because they automatically assumed a lot about idols’ personal lives and you were possibly going to be added to that equation. You felt your stomach grumble and you decided to make a quick stop at a McDonald’s as it was cheap and easy food. Belly full, you fell asleep and happy to possibly see your soulmate within 24 hours.

You woke up a bit early to get ready, the dress code was smart casual so you dressed as such, only messing with your physical appearance very little as you didn’t bring much with you in your rush to pack. Once you noticed the time, you were on your way to the studio and you felt like your heart was going to beat out of your chest. After waiting for a few hours, you all filed into the audience and watched as the crew set up for filming. You couldn’t breathe as Jimmy stood in front and announced that BTS was here and you felt your heart stop when they came out.

They all came out looking very cute in their current concepts style, and they all look ethereal. Then your eyes landed on Jungkook and all of time seemed to stop. He looked so cute and you couldn’t believe it. There he was. So close yet so far. Every fiber of your being, every atom yelled at you to get up from your seat and run to him but you couldn’t, that was the stupidest thing you could ever do. No, you had to stick to your plan. Hopefully it will work. They danced their way to their seats as the band played, then they all sat down around and on the couch. You couldn’t register anything that was going on, all you could hear was your heartbeat in your ears. You watched them introduce themselves and you had to bite your tongue, because all you wanted to do was scream out to Jungkook that you were here. Just wait, you reminded yourself. Wait.

As they talked about their new music, you heard Jimmy ask about soulmates, more specifically Jungkook, with his system being exposed recently and if he found them.

He shook his head no. “Still looking.” he shyly admitted as the nearest member, Jimin, patted his thigh.

This was it. You shut your eyes and thought hard as possible trying to get him to hear you. Please please please.

“It’s been difficult to find them as-” Namjoon started to explain when suddenly

“I’M HERE!” Jungkook blurted out, cutting him off. It worked! His eyes frantically searched the audience and suddenly a bunch of screaming people were claiming it was them, even people with the most obvious soulmate marks exposed on their bodies, desperate for the love of their bias.

“Wait, they’re here?!” Jimmy shouted over the growing screams of the crowd, Jungkook stood up and watched the crowd intently, unable to pin point you.

Namjoon said something in Korean to Jungkook, encouraging the younger member to do something. Listening to him, Jungkook closed his eyes and the entire audience went quiet. Waiting for his soulmate to show themselves.

You felt the similar pull, the need to speak. Opening your mouth and standing as you let the words tumble out of your mouth in a shout, shrieking something about raw eggs and Jimin. As random as the saying was, Jungkook’s eyes locked with you and suddenly you felt your legs move without your permission. You frantically pushed past all the people sitting around you and you ran down the stairs to your soulmate. Your Jungkook. As he saw you run down the stairs, he ran to meet you halfway across the stage. You leapt into his open arms and you felt him spin you around as you held on for dear life.

Soon as everything stopped spinning you could feel him cry into your shoulder. You pulled away to see his eyes starting to grow red from the amount of tears he let go. From that sight alone, you as well burst into tears. He pulled you back into the hug by your neck and you both openly wept into each other's arms. You felt the other members (and you think Jimmy as well), join in the hug as you all stood there. You heard Jimmy say they’re gonna have a quick break and you all were gestured to go backstage. You almost didn’t follow but Jungkook pulled you along, not letting go of you.

Once in a back room, you were surrounded by the 7 members of the biggest boyband in the world, one of which was your soulmate and you honestly? You were a bit starstruck because while you had hoped that the plan would work, you didn’t think this far ahead.

“So, uh, what’s your name?” Namjoon broke you out of your trance and you felt your face flush, looking to the ground a bit.

“Uh, YN LN.” You said, continuing to stare at your toes.

“It’s perfect.” You heard Jungkook mutter as he pulled you into another hug from behind, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

Jimin lightly scolded the maknae in Korean, saying something along the lines of something about the conversation, the interrupted interview, and 'schedule mess up'.

“Sorry about that, didn't really. . .think of that. . .” You lightly chuckled as you dragged your fingertips up and down Jungkook’s arms that were still wrapped around you.

“Don’t apologize. I don’t care. I have my soulmate now. I have you.” Jungkook whispered into your ear.

“We have to go back to the interview. JK, they’ll be here when you get back, right?” Namjoon’s turned to you, putting you on the spot.

“Y-yes, of course.” You sputtered out, nodding your head.

You could feel Jungkook pouting as he looked up to face his members. Talking really fast, you managed to understand a bit of what he was saying to them. Asking them about missing the rest of the interview and something about Jin and his soulmate. A few of them went back and forth about whether or not it would be good with Jimmy or the staff. But it was when Hoseok spoke out that the other members agreed, Namjoon only sighed in response. Telling Jungkook he’d be excused from the rest of the schedule today. He then told him to get out of the outfit and get back into his normal clothes and take one of the cars back to their hotel. Jungkook agreed almost immediately as the rest of the members filled out of the room, leaving you and your soulmate alone for the first time.

“This why you excited for New York City? You seeing me?” Jungkook asked as he turned you to face him, you nodded. He laughed lightly. “You really surprised me, and you kept me on my toes the past two years.” Oh shit, he’s been voicing your thoughts way before you even started it because he’s two years older than you.

“Oh shit- I’m, I’m so sorry!” You laughed, you can’t imagine all the weird thoughts he got and not to mention in English so he was probably just as confused as you were.

“It made concerts difficult, but motivated me to learn English better.” He teased. He placed his hand on your face and you closed your eyes, leaning into his touch. He whispered a small plea. “Please don't let this be a dream.”

“It’s not. This is real.” You whispered back, opening your eyes and looking into his.

“Good, because then I can do this.” He gently pulled your face closer to his and met you halfway with a kiss. You’ll admit, you’ve never kissed anyone before but with Jungkook it all felt right. Granted it was a short and brief kiss, but you felt the emotion behind it all. He pulled away first and just looked at you. You could definitely see what all those comments were talking about with them saying Jungkook has the entire galaxy in his eyes. “I need to change now. Be right back?”

“I’ll be here.”

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horrorslashergirl · 4 years

Text

Chromeskull x Cop!Reader x The Collector

A dark themed erotic novel for the twisted minds

Resume: When there’s a third party, things might get a little difficult. Jealousy is an ugly characteristic and it might get you into a whole lot of trouble.

Chapter 1: Nightshift Turn Out

Chapter 2: Twisted Tongue

Chapter 3: Rising from fire like the Phoenix

Chapter 4: Video Shadows

Chapter 5: New beginning and Past memories

Chapter 6: Lovers Reunion

Chapter 7: Sweet Blackmail

Chapter 8: False Freedom

Chapter 9: Ugly Jealousy (You are here)

Chapter 10: Sinful Ecstasy

You woke up with a headache, the sleep you had wasn't enough and it didn't help that you had to get your ass out of bed to prepare yourself for work. You took a quick shower, trying to wash the tiredness from your face, then dressed. Breakfast was out of the discussion, you weren't hungry, but you filled your dog's bowl with food before exiting and going to work, acting like everything was fine. You didn't want to have your co-workers ask you millions of questions if you were alright.

Everything went fine, some office paperwork, today you had no patrolling so you took all your time into the office, the AC blowing behind you, a sigh leaving your lips as your exhausted eyes took a glance at the clock on the wall; lunchtime. Maybe coffee and something sweet would ease your tension. Closing your laptop, you told your partner you will take some time off to get food, which he replied with a simple nod, his eyes too pulled into the stacks of papers and the computer.

Walking down the hallways, you exited the police station and were ready to go across the street to get yourself the nutriments for today, only to stop dead into your tracks, when your eyes meet the tall form of Jesse, leaning against the side of a Chrysler, 300c, all black with his hands into the pockets of his slacks, a smirk on his scarred face.

He wouldn't do something in public, in front of so many people and especially coworkers of yours that were outside smoking. You gulped down and got the courage to walk towards him, trying not to look scared, mostly so as not to raise unwanted questions and suspicions.

"I haven't told anyone anything, not a soul." you firstly said, trying not to stumble over your words. He pulled out his phone from his pocket, typing a message.

'I know, princess. We have our eyes on you all the time.'

Well, that calmed you down very much, but still, that didn't answer your question about why he was here.

'I thought you might be hungry since it's lunchtime. I brought you something.'

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion as he opened the passager seat and pulled out a box, which contained your favorite food, along with a cup of coffee, just how you liked it, a little bitter with some milk, and what you loved most, strawberry cake.

"Why?" you hesitated, taking the box anyway since your stomach was making the thinking for you now.

'Why not? Isn't this what a lover is supposed to do to his most valuable person in life?'

That message made you all the more confused, not to mention a little angry. He wasn't your lover or boyfriend or any synonyms specified.

"You're not my lover. You kidnapped me, hurt me, and not to mention blackmailed me." you explained, trying to sound assertive, but at the same time trying not to draw attention to the both of you. You knew how your coworkers liked to gossip and prey on any juicy stories.

'Details, doll.' he waved off as it was nothing as if the words you said were just a joke to him, but then he narrowed his brown eye, his hand pulling you flush against his chest, a gasp leaving your lips. On one hand, he still had his phone, typing away with precision.

'Kiss me.'

That command, because request sure as hell wasn't, made your eyes widen and shivers to run down your spine, a bad feeling coming into your chest.

"W-What?" Kiss him in public? In front of your coworkers that was a few feet away from the two of you, clearly observing the whole scenario.

'I'm not a shy one, doll. Let them all see that you're taken, not to mention...Isn't it rude not to thank me for this treat?'

The bastard was playing with you now, and you knew that if you denied his words the outcome wouldn't be pretty; you constantly thought of your brother and how you need to protect him, despite you being his little sister.

"If I kiss you, will you leave?" you asked in a hushed voice, your face inches from his own, that smirked at your question, nodding slowly.

Taking a deep breath you leaned on your toes, so you could reach him and pressed your lips shyly against his rough ones, the kiss all innocent, until his free hand moved from your waist to the back of your neck, his fingers stroking the skin there, his tongue pocking out to brush against your lips.

You opened your eyes and looked into his half-lidded brown one, his gaze speaking 'Open up or else', so you slowly parted your lips, allowing him entry and he sure did take advantage of it, deepening the kiss and rubbing his tongue over yours, a slight moan vibrating from you, then as it started, it ended, leaving you a shocked and breathless mess.

Jesse knew you enjoyed it more than you let it know, the smug look he gave you, speaking much more.

'Thanks, doll. You're a peach, also I will pick you up after work and we are going to my place for a drink or two.'

That was his last message before he went inside the car, driving off and leaving you all speechless. Well, at last, you got free lunch, so you headed back inside the police station, not before taking a glance at your coworkers outside who had confused, shocked, and amused faces.

Great, you will be the primary discussion for one week from the looks of it. Walking down the hallways, you got inside your office, your partner still working while one of the female officers was there chatting with him. Her eyes looked up and when she saw you she smirked knowingly.

"What's with that smirk?" you asked, setting down the box with the food, getting ready to eat.

"How come you never told anyone you had a boyfriend? And a rich as fuck one." she said, with a raised eyebrow. Great, she was one of these gossip sharks who would love to sink their teeth into you for more spicy details.

"I don't think that is any business for work." you replied, trying not to give any information to this predator.

"I always thought you were asexual, but my....Girl, you really know how to pick em." she said, sitting down on your partner's desk, making him look up at her with an acidic look. Well, at last, you weren't the only one who wanted to stab her in the mouth.

"I mean...He is one tall fella...I bet his dick is something to be afraid of." she continued, her words made your coworker choke on his coffee, obviously disgusted by her dirty comments.

"How rich is he? Judging by his car and the way he dresses....I bet he rubs his money on your pussy, girl." she joked, laughing, only to stop when you banged your fist on your desk.

"Get the fuck out!" you screamed, a vicious glare shot directly in her direction. She made a quick dash for the door, tripping over her high heels on her way out. Your partner chuckled at your outburst.

"Well, that was quite amusing on your part. Never saw you angry before." he commented nonchalantly.

"All I want is to be left alone and do my work. I hate gossips." you groaned out, starting to eat your lunch, the delightful taste of it calming your nerves down.

"Good luck with that. This place stinks of predators ready to devour any information you have on yourself. I thought you knew this after so many months."

"Well, I wasn't exactly into the spotlight, until now." you grumbled, chewing on your food.

"Get used to it."

The rest of the day at work was full of tension; each time someone entered your office, he or she commented something about your 'lover', some comments were innocent some made your skin crawl.

You stretched your arms above your head as you saw that it was ending of the program; you couldn't wait to get home and have a bubble bath...maybe a movie? Of course, the pleasant dream was destroyed, when you remembered that Jesse had already plans for you.

As you exited the police station, you weren't that much surprised that the luxurious black car was waiting for you. Jesse wasn't joking and it made you start to walk towards it when he honked, signaling for you to hurry up. You got inside the car, into the passager seat, next to Jesse, but not even sparing him a glance.

'Not gonna give daddy a kiss?' the robotic voice spoke up, making you blush and look slowly at him, reluctant as you saw the serious look he sported. Gulping down, you gave his scarred cheek a quick kiss, making the man smirk and laugh silently.

He let that go, and starting driving to his place, the drive there was as silent as ever, not even him giving you looks or anything, and that only amplified the tension.

After driving for one hour or so, you two got to his place, parking his car and leading you inside. All the flashbacks from what happened inside came to you, making you halt your steps a little, only for Jesse to push lightly on your lower back.

Entering, you didn't even have the time to speak, as Jesse pushed you against a wall, his arms caging you against his body, his nose buried into the crook of your neck, taking deep inhales of breath.

"W-What are you doing?" you shuttered, trying to push a little against his chest. He moved a little from you, taking his phone out so he could communicate with you.

'How was work?'

You narrowed your eyes at his question.

"Because of you, I was feeling like I was in a tank full of piranhas. You have any idea how people love to stick their nose into others business?" you asked with annoyance, glaring up at Jesse, who only smirked at your spitfire attitude.

'I know, but what's the problem? Let them all know who owns you. By the way, love that comment about how you are my sugar baby. Got me a little rilled up, doll.'

You couldn't take it anymore, you pushed hard against his chest, taking him by surprise as he stumbled one step behind.

"I have enough of this! I'm not an object you can own. I'm an independent woman and I can do whatever I want!" you screamed out at him, and in an instant, he had his hand wrapped around your throat, your back connecting again with the wall, but much harsher.

Jesse snarled down at you, brown eye flashing with annoyance.

'You think you have a choice? Well, you do have, but I don't think you want to lose your dear brother, because of this stupid female pride. You will get used to it, and maybe love it at some point, to be my gorgeous trophy on my part of the arrangement.'

Fear struck you, as you tried to pry his hand off of you, but without any luck.

'I suggest you learn your place. Trust me, I'm far worse than Asa.'

You whimpered, your eyes closed to look Jesse in the eye.

'All you have to do is get down on your hands and knees and by my little baby girl. Pretty easy for a spitfire as yourself. I will enjoy ripping this independence off of you.'

You felt humiliated by his words and squeaked as you felt his lips brush against yours. Your mind kept telling you to just take it what comes at you, that being arrogant and prideful won't save you or your brother.

'Don't let the sin of pride destroy what is most precious for you.' That's what your mind kept repeating over and over. A sigh left your lips, opening them for Jesse who smirked in victory and began to kiss you feverishly.

That was...until, a loud bang of the front door caused both of you to pull away, a fuming and angry Asa into the opened doors, obsidian eyes narrowing at Jesse.

"You. I thought we agreed on sharing her." he spoke, surprisingly calm, but you knew he was one more way from exploding into an inner rage.

'What's got your panties in a bunch, old man.' Jesse spoke through his phone, making Asa take a wide step forward.

"I saw her first." Asa snarled and you were shocked that Jesse was all laid-back about this.

'So? She's on my territory now. Finder's keeper.'

That last comment destroyed Asa's calmness and he lunged at Jesse, throwing a fist straight to the taller man's nose, your eyes widening as you took in the scene, both of them fighting, resulting in a bruised nose for Jesse, who spit blood out, and a busted lip for Asa; still they continued.

You couldn't take this anymore, so you followed your instincts, getting between them, your hands pushing against Asa's chest.

"S-Stop it! This is insane!" you screamed, making them stop and looked at you with shocked and unsure expressions.

Jesse was holding his bruised nose, blood coming out, and following down his mouth, his brown eye narrowed at the smaller male. You looked up to see one of Asa's eyes that started to form a purple bruise along with his busted lip, bleeding.

Asa looked down at you with a glare and something else you couldn't point out. You knew he was still angry by his deep inhales of breath.

"I-It isn't his fault! I agreed to come....I-I am sorry!" you tried to form out some excuses. Why? You didn't know. You might as well have let them beat the hell out of each other or even kill one another.

"You're sorry?" Asa calmly asked, taking a step towards you, only for you to step backward, until your back meets Jesse's front, who looked down at you with an equally bruised face as Asa.

"Are you trying to play us?" Asa snarled, eyes looking so feral down at you, all you could manage to get out were whimpers.

"Are you trying to get us against each other?" Asa asked again, his hand crawling up your chest until he grasped your neck, your eyes wide with terror.

"I've been patient, thought maybe we should have taken you easy and gentle." Asa continued, looking at Jesse, who's mouth pulled from a scowl to a smirk, already figuring out what they wanted to do to you.

"You're a brat. You know what happens to disobedient snobby brats?" Jesse's phone spoke up, one of his hands grasping and squeezing harshly your hip.

"You're gonna get punished tonight." Asa spoke firmly, his fingertips rubbing the skin of your neck, making you gulp down in anxiety for what was to come.

"Tonight. We. Are. Going. To. Fuck. You." Each word was spoken from Jesse's device along with a roll of his hips into yours, making you feel what was to come.

You. Were. Fucked.

To be continued...

#Chromeskull: Laid to rest 2 #Laid to rest 2009 #Chromeskull #Chromeskull x reader #Jesse Cromeans #jesse cromeans x reader #The Collector 2009 #The Collection 2012 #The Collector x Reader #Asa Emory #Asa Emory x reader #jesse cromeans x reader x asa emory #the collector x reader x chromeskull #slasher x reader #horror movies

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bonsaiiiiiii · 4 years

Text

100 Weird AU's? Yes.

So, I had these AU prompts on my phone for quite a while, and I was actually thinking about using them. And what better way to do it than using them with the Tracy's?

Reading and reading these prompts again (and under the gentle guidance of @willow-salix ) I thought that these prompts doesn't exactly match the brothers' everyday situation, but what if we push it past its limit? Yes, biting more that you can chew can be a little difficult, but I don't think it will be impossible. And that's where this challenge is born!

Get the Tracy's out of International Rescue's bubble and let them live an everyday situation as normal people! They can also be medieval nobles or even futuristic robots, the choice's up to you! You can choose from soo many things others don't even think about (and not even me, for a while)!

Many thanks to @tag2060 for the cover and @willow-salix for the support (both emotional and 'fic-ical'. I love both of you💚

NOTE: THESE PROMPTS AREN'T ALL MINE. I TOOK THEM FROM A GIRL I'M NOT IN CONTACT WITH ANYMORE, BUT I WAS TOLD I COULD USE THEM. ALL CREDITS FOR THESE AU'S GO TO HER, WHATEVER IS HER NAME (lmao). THE GOLD MARKED ONES (7, 11, 20, 23, 39, 47, 63, 64, 70, 83, 89, 91, 93, 96, 100) ARE ALL MINE, IN SUBSITUTION OF A FEW THAT WERE THERE, SO CREDIT FOR THE GOLDEN MARKED ONES GOES TO ME, BUT NOT EVERY ONE OF THEM.

NOTE²: SOME OF THE PROMPTS CONTAIN STRONG THEMES, LIKE DEPRESSION AND SEXUAL CONTENT. IF YOU'RE SENSIBLE TO THESE THEMES, DON'T DO THEM, NOBODY FORCES YOU IF YOU DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ:･ﾟ✧(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ:･ﾟ✧(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

To participate in this challenge, all you have to do is take one of the AU prompts from the list, one or more (or all) Tracy characters, and post your fic (can be a ficlet, or a series) under the tag #100weirdTracys and #100weirdAUs.

If you don't want to participate, please don't harass/bully me. I made this challenge just for fun, and I don't want for it to feel like something bad. In fact, I don't even regret doing this thing, even if it's strange.

Ah, I almost forgot: this challenge will be over in December, so you have 4 months to choose a prompt and make a fic about it. On December I'll review all the fics, but I'll always be reblogging and reading during these 4 months lol.

If you want to tell me something, hit me up on DM's! I hope you have fun with those prompts and those bois!

(づ￣ ³￣)づ(づ￣ ³￣)づ(づ￣ ³￣)づ(づ￣ ³￣)づ

TO RESUME:

• Swearing is allowed.

• You can write as many words as you want!

• Oc's and muses can pop in too!

• Make sure to tag your fic(s) under the '#100weirdTracys' and '#100weirdAUs' tags, so that I can find them easily.

• Always tag or contact me if you need help with anything! I'll be more than glad to help you!

• If you decide to do the mature prompts (19, 90, just to state an example) please refrain from using a too mature language and don't go further than making up. I don't like that kind of language, so it would be peachy to just avoid writing so they make wild sex behind a bush. Any kind of very mature fic or language won't be read by me, I'm sorry. You can still use those prompts, but don't work their bed life too much.

• Any dialect or first language apart from english is more than welcome in this yard! I would love even to read snippets of foreign language in fics, as long as there's a translation near it, but you're not forced to write in another language. If you don't feel comfortable doing it just don't do it, even if I'm telling you. (For the record, I love Irish so much I could listen to a person speaking this language for hours and you won't hear me complaining).

• I will accept this challenge in whatever form it takes, be it a fic, a drawing, a song, etc. I’m open to anything and I watch everything that comes before me!

φ(．．)φ(．．)φ(．．)φ(．．)__φ(．．)

That said, you can find the prompts down here:⬇️

#1 I saved you from drowning!AU

#2 I broke into your house at two in the morning because I was drunk and I thought it was my house!AU

#3 I am a door-to-door seller please buy something!AU

#4 I grabbed the wrong luggage at the airport!AU

#5 I know we hate each other, but a wedding would be more convenient for both of us!AU

#6 I accidentally poured you a love potion!AU

#7 I sent you 12 messages but you left me on read!AU

#8 I am your secret admirer and I leave you anonymous cards!AU

#9 Sorry, but I was first in line!AU

#10 We don’t know each other but let's pretend to be together because someone is bothering me!AU

#11 We pack up to do a funny trip but we end up in Bolivia without fuel!AU

#12 Locked in quarantine and we're bored! AU

#13 I do everything to find out the identity of this superhero and you try to mislead me because it’s really you!AU

#14 I got into a taxi just to find out it was already occupied!AU

#15 I called the wrong number!AU

#16 I got into the wrong car OMG I'm ashamed, but while you’re there why don’t you give me a ride!AU

#17 I found a wallet and my business is to find the owner and return it!AU

#18 I am a street artist and you complain that I play in front of your house at night!AU

#19 I caught you watching porn!AU

#20 We're two strangers that start chatting while waiting for the bus!AU

#21 Nosy and sloppy roommates!AU

#22 Old childhood friends who come back after years!AU

#23 I got shot to the arm/leg but you're there to save me and OMG ILY!AU

#24 We’re sitting next to each other on a plane and please don’t throw up on me!AU

#25 We accidentally switched phones!AU

#26 We are both contestants in a reality show and let's pretend to be together because the audience will ship us!AU

#27 I am a wedding planner and my ex’s wedding had to happen to me!AU

#28 I learned sign language to communicate with you!AU

#29 Professional model and novice photographer!AU

#30 Sorry I ran you over!AU

#31 We make out and then I find out that you are my roommate’s boyfriend!AU

#32 I’m quoting aloud the last book of a series and I’m spoiling you!AU

#33 It is a universally acknowledged truth that a bachelor with a large fortune must be looking for a wife!AU

#34 I am a Partisan and you are a fascist!AU(Italy during World War II!AU)

#35 I am the blood of the dragon!AU (Iron Throne!AU)

#36 Your dog is hitting on mine!AU

#37 I’m depressed and I decide to call a hotline!AU

#38 You are my soulmate but I am in love with someone else!AU

#39 Strange encounter at tattoo shop!AU

#40 On my mark, unleash hell!AU(Roman Empire!AU)

#41 I am an Elf, don’t look at me for ears I am ashamed of!AU(The Lord of the Rings!AU)

#42 Maybe my life should be more than just survival!AU(The 100!AU)

#43 I am an activist and I am trying to convert you to the cause!AU

#44 We are occupying the school but you are a spoilsport!AU

#45 All our friends are drunk and we're not!AU

#46 We’ve been together for three months and now you’re telling me you’re a werewolf!AU

#47 X has to go into a rocket to the moon and Y has to train X!

#48 Knight in shining armor and damsel in distress!AU

#49 We reluctantly team up against the zombie apocalypse!AU

#50 I’m a vampire and your smell is driving me nuts!AU(Twilight!AU)

#51 Monsters have attacked the Earth and the only way to save humanity is aboard giant robots piloted by two people who must maintain a mental union!AU(Pacific Rim!AU)

#52 My timer stopped as soon as I saw you!AU(Soulmate!AU)

#53 I need a lawyer and you are the best!AU

#54 I’m a Viking and I plundered your ship!AU

#55 I’m a classic dandy from the Regency Age and you’re just a silly girl from the lower middle class!AU

#56 I’m a policeman and you’re an intrusive journalist and I really shouldn’t give you any information about the new murder!AU

#57 You are a wannabe actress and I am a theatrical director who is losing patience and health!AU

#58 Due to a computer error, X and Y become college roommates!AU

#59 X wants to see the world of Y, how he lives and what he usually does, and ends up spending a night in prison!AU

#60 I attend the yoga course just to watch how flexible the instructor is!AU

#61 I am a bounty hunter and you are my prey!AU

#62 I am a secret spy and pretend to be your friend only to get information about your father!AU

#63 I discuss with you about a thing but you have in mind another!AU

#64 We are forced to be best friends just because our moms were best friends too but you're too bossy for me!AU

#65 We broke up but I never changed emergency contacts and now I’m in the hospital and they called you!AU

#66 I am an angel and you are a demon!AU

#67 I hit you on the balls during a game of paintball and oh my god I am so sorry!AU

#68 We live in a dystopian world where your partner is chosen by society!AU(Matched!AU)

#69 I’m a dragon trainer I’ll prove to you that they are peaceful creatures!AU(Dragon Trainer!AU)

#70 Date at japanese restaurant!AU

#71 You’re a cheerleader and I’m a punk and we live in two different worlds!AU

#72 I was a zombie and I was "re-animated" but you treat me like I’m still a monster!AU(In the Flesh!AU)

#73 I am your son’s teacher and I am calling to talk to you about his conduct, would he also come to dinner with me!AU

#74 I am an Achaean warrior and you Trojan and we are fighting the Trojan War!AU

#75 I met my asshole boss at the bar but I found out he’s pretty cool!AU

#76 It was not my intention to touch your ass, it’s just that the bus is crowded, it’s not my fault ok!AU

#77 I went fishing and accidentally fished a mermaid!AU

#78 I just committed a crime and I need to use you as a hostage!AU

#79 You’re the bastard who always parks in front of my door and in spite I’ll scratch your car!AU

#80 I accidentally went back in time and fell in love with you, too bad you’re a barbarian!AU

#81 I urgently need you to fix my computer but please don’t judge me for my chronology!AU

#82 I work on the cruise ship where you are spending your holidays!AU

#83 I'm out in the rainstorm without an umbrella because the weather forecast was sunny!AU

#84 I hugged the wrong person from behind!AU

#85 Celebrity on the run and ordinary citizen confused!AU

#86 Stuck in a ranch cleaning horse poop but it doesn’t matter because that cowboy is a badass!AU

#87 We got married in Vegas, but we’re total strangers!AU

#88 But, officer, I wasn’t doing anything wrong, I was just smoking a joint, want a hit!AU

#89 X is an astronaut and Y is a weird but funny alien that likes to scream, overreact and laugh!AU

#90 I slept with you for a bet but I loved it and I’d like to keep seeing you!AU

#91 I reveal to some friends that you wear boxers/underwear with green aliens on them but you're behind me and oh gosh total shame!AU

#92 Oops I accidentally entered a busy dressing room!AU

#93 You're a stranger but I keep crossing paths with you and I'm kinda confused right now!AU

#94 X is a medium and Y a ghost!AU

#95 X is a guardian angel and Y wants to die!AU

#96 X accidentally enters in a cat and Y has to rescue it from up a tree!AU

#97 X risks losing the house because Y’s company wants to buy the land!AU

#98 I’m an artist and I need a model do you want to pose for me!AU

#99 I’m not really sick but the new doctor is so beautiful that I found out I have a disease with an unpronounceable name!AU

#100 A strange job application!AU

φ(．．)φ(．．)φ(．．)φ(．．)__φ(．．)

If you find them more practical, I also have some photos down here with all the prompts organized:⬇️

That said, enjoy! Hope it brings you joy and makes you happy while you do it!💙💚🧡💛❤💜💖🖤

#100weirdTracys #100weirdAUs #Thunderbirds are go #ThunderChallenge #Scott Tracy #Virgil Tracy #John Tracy #Gordon Tracy #Alan Tracy #oc's #muses #fic #drawings #first challenge ever!#enjoy!

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what-even-is-thiss · 4 years

Text

fic, off of land, out of water. 6. Final chapter.

It’s been six months. I have nothing to say for myself. I hope it’s an okay conclusion.

Warning for near death experience.

First Previous

6. Sincerity

Drowning is not something known to merfolk. Logan didn’t know that it existed before he came to dry land and it was one of the things Virgil made sure to explain to him on the first car ride away from the coast.

“Human lungs can’t hold water.” He said

“But why?” Logan asked, still wiping the tears from his eyes.

Virgil propped Logan’s new glasses on his head to keep the salty water from staining them.

“Because we just can’t. So don’t breathe any in.”

“Then why does Patton have a container of it in the front?” Logan asked.

“I’m drinking it, Logan. Not breathing it.” Patton said.

“Drinking?” Logan asked.

“It’s like eating but with liquid.” Roman said, carefully examining a pimple in the mirror. “Hey, do you think I could cover this up before tonight?”

“Why? I think it’s an improvement.” Virgil said.

“That was uncalled for.” Logan said.

“Don’t mind him. He’s an only child.” Virgil said.

“Oh, one of those. Well we’ll have fun with him then.” Roman said.

……….

Logan’s brain started working at a pace so fast that it seemed as if time slowed down to a snail's crawl. Seconds took years to pass as his brain remembered everything that it could

“The human instinct to hold breath underwater is so overwhelming that it is very difficult to overcome.” Logan’s brain said. “The average person can only hold their breath for 30 to 60 seconds. Experienced pearl divers can hold their breath for as long as ten minutes. Navy seals (no relation to the creature) can hold their breath for two minutes. However, the most you’ve ever been able to manage is 20 seconds.”

Logan looked around. It was dark. One second had passed. His eyes stung and his glasses began to separate from his face. The inertia of his initial jump was still pushing him downward.

“It is easier to float in saltwater which increases your odds slightly. However, you have never swam with legs before. Don’t move them. Push upward. You have approximately 80 seconds before your lungs involuntarily breathe in. At that point your chances of survival are slim. The land is an unforgiving bastard. He’s not letting you go yet. Find a way to breathe.”

……….

Before Roman got roped in with the lawyer he used to occasionally show Logan his day job. At this point he got enough acting jobs and shows that he could’ve lived modestly, but Roman was never one for modesty and freelance graphic design was a much more stable job than acting or being a drag queen. It wasn’t as stable as other jobs but where’s the adventure in a salary?

“We all lose it at some point, Logan.” Roman said the first time. “It’s good to have something to fall back on.”

Logan watched the movements on the computer screen.

“What is ‘it’ exactly?” He asked.

“You know. The… the thing. Whatever makes you tick. The special…”

He waved his hands around. “Ah, whatever.”

“Like my…” Logan couldn’t make himself say it. There were too many things he could say.

Roman focused on the graph overlaying the photoshop screen in front of him but kept talking.

“I know you think I’m an overly dramatic and very attractive idiot, and I am, but I do have a heart you know.”

“Well obviously you have a heart. How else would blood circulate through your body? I’m 100% certain that humans are mammals and…”

“No, no, Microsoft nerd.” Roman said. “It’s an expression. In old times before… I dunno, science, a lot of humans thought that emotions came from the heart. We don’t have voodoo or whatever it is you do”

“Practical magic.” Logan mumbled.

“Whatever. Anyways, uh, when I say I have a heart I’m assuming you think I don’t care about you or that you think I only think about myself but that’s not true. Metaphorically uh, speaking, um, if someone has a heart they have compassion.”

The logo for a burger cart seemed to have finalized while Roman was talking. Logan leaned against him to get a better look at it. Now would be a good time to shrug Logan off and give him a lesson in American ideas of personal space but Roman didn’t feel like it. So he listened to Logan talk about how it made no sense that a burger would have eyes and how much he hated that fusion restaurant Patton and Virgil took him to last week.

One thing he and Logan did have in common was that they never shut up.

……….

His hands weren’t moving. Why weren’t they moving?

“Fear paralysis.” His brain hissed.

……….

Logan always lost races. He was small. He was weak. He knew he was small and weak and he hated it. He spent most of his time looking at drawings or listening to storytellers.

“You should be one of them.” His father said.

“I could never be that exciting.” Logan said.

“You don’t have to be exciting.” His father said. “ do whales think about how exciting they are?”

Logan cocked his head to the side. “No!” He said with childish certainty.

“Be more like a whale.” His father said. “Or I’ll get ya like a whale!”

He grabbed the five year old mer-child by his tail and spun him around in the water like a gear. Logan let out a delighted high pitched whistle and pretended to try to swim away as his father grabbed him around the middle and tickled him.

……..

Logan had been underwater for ten seconds when he broke the surface. This was a lot harder than it looked. Before he went under again he heard some shouting that kind of sounded like Roman.

He had never noticed that water had a sound before. He had spent the first twenty three years of his life submerged in it and never realized that it made noise while it moved. Maybe because his ear canal had always been full of it. Now it sounded like rumbling.

Something grabbed around his waist and he flinched. He tried to get away. He lost precious air. What was happening?

Air.

……….

Logan held Virgil’s head gently and looked at the angry red marks on his face.

“You just had to get yourself in trouble again, didn’t you?” Virgil whispered.

“It’s not like me to make the same mistake twice.” Logan said.

“Well here I am. You’re shaking. How long was I out?”

“Two weeks.”

“Are we in your apartment? Where’s your mom?”

“The same place my dad is.”

“Wait, you don’t mean…”

“She went looking for him, yes. And… I suppose succeeded in a way.”

“Oh, Logan.”

“Logically, you are still alive. So thank the tides for that.”

Mer cities are just as advanced as human cities, but whereas human cities use electricity, mer cities use magic. To a human it would look like Virgil was just wrapped in seaweed. In reality, he was. But his best friend had also not stopped chanting magic spells over him day and night for almost a week. An act of great compassion that he would never, ever admit to doing.

……...

Somebody slapped him.

“You idiot!” Roman yelled.

Logan squinted through his blurry vision.

“You’re… soaking wet.” He said.

“No shit, Sherlock.”

Something dry in a polo shirt grabbed him and started crying and he registered what was going on.

“Oh, I see. I uh… messed up.” Logan said.

A strong hand helped him up.

“Yeah. That’s two mistakes now. You’re on a roll.” Virgil’s voice said.

“I… only almost killed you once,” Logan said. “Or twice. Okay. Twice.”

“H-hey look he’s catching on to the… he’s… almost funny.” Roman said

“Are you sobbing?” Logan asked.

“Yes, okay? I’m dramatic! Now let’s get out of here before someone calls the cops.”

They got out of there before someone called the cops.

………..

There is an end written to this story, but it’s not the end of this story. Because after this end, the boys will continue to live. These men will have stories. Roman will leave his boyfriend but foolishly keep a line open. Patton will go to college, finish it, be unsatisfied, go back, and then be satisfied this time. His relationship with his mother will never be fully repaired, if it was ever whole, but it will improve.

And Logan and Virgil, two men who have always known who they are and why but will never know where they will be tomorrow or what species they will be tomorrow, will keep telling stories. Eventually they will start a podcast, because Virgil is tall and Logan is short and they sound exactly the same way that they look. And two months worth of recordings can be binged.

Virgil still whistles and it’s just as charming and annoying as ever. He will never stop. And now that Logan can read, there’s really no end to the ways he can be a know-it-all.

But before all that happens, this story that you’re reading or listening to (depending on whether you’re on land or in the sea) ends. And it goes a little something like this:

……….

Two men stand together alone in a cave and one of them takes off his glasses. One is tall and one is short. One is named Virgil, the other Logan. They’re very young in the grand scheme of things but they are not children by anyone’s standards. They’ve seen and felt too much already but that’s okay. Everyone does. And the ocean is calling them back. Together this time.

Logan puts his glasses inside the cooler and weighed it down with a rock.

“Are you ready?” Virgil asked in his deep voice

“Well I wasn’t born ready. That’s impossible. One doesn’t emerge from an egg ready for anything. However, I was born to be ready for this. So yes. I am ready.”

“Robotic as always.” Virgil said.

They took hands and a running leap. And for the first time in weeks or over a year depending, they breathed in the warm saltwater of the mid Atlantic. And Logan, for the first time in Virgil’s memory, let out a human laugh.

“I’m breathing!” He clicked with ease. “I’m swimming!”

“And I’ll bet you remember the way home.” Said the merman with the black and silver tail and a scar on his stomach.

“I remember everything.” Logan said. “Everything.”

And this is the way he told it to me. And now, the way I tell it to you.

#sanders sides #roman wrote a thing #roman said a thing #mer au #analogical #platonic analogical #fafic #fan fic #fanfiction #fan fiction #sanders sides au

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hanna-of-vengerberg · 4 years

Text

Between us. Part 1 (Natasha x OC, Steve x OC)

Summary: F!OC and Natasha are dating, but they want to have someone else.

Pairing: Natasha x OC, Steve x OC

Warnings: femslash, mentions of polyamorous relationships

Y/N - Your Name

A/N: Natasha is my favorite female character in the MCU. I absolutely adore her friendship with Steve, but to be honest I always want them to end as a couple. Steve is a cinnamon roll! So you can't blame me for want them both *wink wink* ;)

As always I’m sorry for my English. Correct me if I do something wrong.

You've been together with Natasha for over five years.

You've been working for the mafia for about three years and all this time you've managed to stay out of the S.H.I.E.L.D radar. You were declassified near Kiev, the capture operation was led by Natasha. She was the one who interrogated you. You were behaving inappropriately, not knowing what Romanoff is capable of.

“ Miss Romanoff, what are you doing tonight? “ You asked, looking at the spy from under the dropped eyelashes. You liked her, and only a fool would think Natasha wasn't attractive.

“ I'm setting up a date,” the redhead answered briefly, crossing her arms on her chest.

“ Really? “ Falsely surprised you asked. “ And with whom, if not a secret. “

“ Not a secret," Romanoff smiled, "to you and the prison cell. “

You've been behind bars for just under a year when you were offered cooperation. You help track down the rest crew, and for that S.H.I.E.L.D. will review your case. You came to an agreement, and in four months, with your help, you've managed to completely get rid of the mafia. Director Fury reviewed your case, as promised, and offered you a job with the S.H.I.E.L.D. The job turned out to be good for you, and you got into it quickly, feeling needed. A couple of times you worked under Maria Hill, and then you began to increasingly overlap with Agent Colson on assignments. One of those days, you met with Natasha again.

“ Agent Romanoff,” you nodded in a friendly manner. “ I didn't think I'd ever say this, but you're damn hot in that suit. “

Natasha Romanoff didn't respond to your compliments for 1 year, 6 months and 14 days. On day 15, she did agree to go out with you.

In all the time you spent together, you've been through a lot. You threw yourself into the thick of things, picked hot spots to prove to Natasha that you deserve to be with her. In one of these missions, you were seriously hurt and lost almost half of your team. From that moment on you moved to the accounting department and returned to missions after the Avengers initiative. You've become the eyes and ears of the guys, backing them up on all missions through the computer monitor. And now you're watching the quinjet land and the team comes out one by one. You patted on Barton's shoulder and smiled happily when you saw a patch of red hair.

“ Hello,” you whispered in the spy's lips, drawing her to you. “ I missed you. “

Natasha lets you touch her lips easily and hurriedly, so she doesn't have to give away her feelings in front of everyone. She missed you, too, and today you will know how much.

A confused Steve walks past you, trying not to look in your direction. All you did was smile and kiss the spy on your shoulder. You liked watching Rogers react as he stutters and blushes when he sees you. In his day it was considered wrong and now it was difficult for him to get used to the fact that you and Natasha could have a romantic relationship.

“ Hi, Steve “ you got closer to him when Natasha managed to slip away from you.

“ Y/N," Rogers answered you. You were walking shoulder to shoulder towards the elevator.

“ I must have missed you for a long time, or you had time to pump up. “

“ It's just that you haven't been to the gym in a long time,” Steve replied by pressing the elevator button.

“ I prefer a different kind of workout,” you shrugged your shoulders as you leaned against the wall. Rogers looked at you, but didn't say anything. Sometimes you didn't understand how Steve still tolerated you and your character.

“ I don't think I should know, “ Steve sounded a little awkward in his voice.

“ Why not,” you walked up to him by touching his hand slightly. “ We're just looking for an addition to our duet. “

The elevator doors opened and you jumped out quickly, preventing Rogers from even opening his mouth. When you turned around, you just noticed the way he walked you with his eyes.

When you walked into the room, Natasha sat on your bed and toweled her wet hair. You sat next to her, putting your hand on her knee.

“ I think I found a third,” you started slowly, waiting for Natasha's reaction. She looked at you, waiting for you to continue. “ You and Rogers are friends, aren't you? “

“ He wouldn't agree, “ the redhead replied quickly, throwing the towel aside. She leaned back on the pillows, throwing her hands behind her head. You bit your lip as you watched her act. Romanoff covered her eyes, and you found nothing better to do than sit on top of her. Natasha immediately stroked your hips and you leaned over and kissed her on the lips.

“ Maybe you don't know him very well. “

“ Better than you,” Natasha hummed. “ But I wouldn't mind. “

Natasha was skeptical about your idea, but she let you play a little. All you have to do is talk Rogers into your little adventure. You found him in the living room, where he was sitting in his chair reading a historical novel. He was focused, sometimes rubbing his chin with his fingers. You tried to move around silently and walked past him with your fingers on his shoulder. Steve reacted to your touch and paid attention to you.

“ Y/N, is something wrong? “

“ Does something have to happen for me to decide to talk to you, “ you asked, sitting on the armrest of the chair. Steve was clearly embarrassed by your intimacy.

“ I think Natasha is a more suitable candidate,” Steve returned to the reading without paying any more attention to you.

You just pressed your lips and stood up sharply. Then you put your hands on the back of the chair, briefly reading a couple of lines of the novel.

“ Interesting? “

Steve couldn't stand it, so he closed the book loudly, and threw it over the table. You noticed how tense he got and immediately started massaging his shoulders.

“ You're too focused, Captain Rogers, “ you bent over and whispered in his ear as you continued to massage his shoulders, “ Relax. “

“ What are you up to?” gently asked Steve, putting his hand over yours. You stopped and sat back on the railing.

“ A little adventure. But it's just gonna stay between us. “

#avengers #avengers imagine #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanof x oc #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha imagine #natasha x reader #steve rogers #steve rogers x oc #captain america #steve rogers imagine #steve x reader #captain america imagine #black widow #black widow imagine #steve rogers x reader

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lost-in-the-spectrum · 3 years

Text

How did I get my diagnosis for the Asperger-Synrome?

Hello Folks,

I hope you are doing well and hopefully this post will help some people out there with… whatever they need help in.

Today I’d like to tell you the story of how I actually got to my Asperger diagnosis: How did I know that there could be smth like that? How was the assessment? This post could help some people with getting prepared for an assessment like that, it could also help with even figuring out how to get to an assessment like that tho. All things which I am describing and writing in that post is only about me. These are experiences which I made and that doesn’t mean that you’re about to make the same experiences at all. Never mind if bad or good experiences ... don’t let this story unsettle you!

So... Everything started with meeting dad’s girlfriend for the first time. It was after a long search for a place to stay at. I was forced to be homeless for, I guess 6 months – luckily not longer – because me and my sister didn’t come along very well and my mother died 2013 which took my only home away from me. I also had a weird relationship to my other relatives which is the reason why I absolutely couldn’t imagine to live with them. And in addition, I couldn’t expect from the few friends I had that time that they take me to their homes and try to, you know... support me with food and all that stuff. They all had their own problems and at the same time they all haven’t had money either, especially not for a second person to feed.

So I had no other choice. My dad picked me up at my sister’s house and we both drove all the long way to Berlin, where he lived with his girlfriend. The story between us three is very difficult and private. Let’s say it at this way: Living with my mum became kinda impossible for my dad which is why he has chosen an other woman he could imagine to live with. Yes, I know, first I was furious about that decision too but after talking with my dad I could understand his point. Just to make that point clear that there is no reason to dislike him for the choices he had to make, also for himself. Anyway his girlfriend was a hard thing for me. I didn’t want to have an other woman except my mum by dad’s side and in general I was always scared of meeting her because I have never met her in my life before... and she has been in dad’s life since I was about five years old. So when we arrived at their apartment and ringed she opened the door for us. First of all: She didn’t look like I have imagined. I saw few photos of her somewhere as a kid – and thought she’d be only a good friend of dad... I was naive – and on these photos, I think, she looked a bit different. I was a little surprised, she too. But not because she didn’t know that I am coming – she did know – later she told me that she was stunned by my beauty and she was honest and serious about that thought she had. She also told me that she was scared too to meet me for the first time. She actually expected me to hate her by first sight because she knows what kind of role she’s playing in my life. I was nervous of meeting her for the first time but I’d never have been mean to her, never mind what kind of role or position she is having in my life.

We spent some time together, not only to get to know her better but also because I kinda liked her, at least for the first moments we had together. We talked a lot and went up to the bakery to bring some bread for the morning. We have done that together for many times so that I could see where to go and one morning she told me to bring the bread. So I did, I mean, we have walked that way for three times! I should know where the place is. Well, I didn't.

I walked the way I remembered but suddenly the streets and surrounding looked a little different to me. Or no, they didn't. It was the same as before but I couldn't find the way we both walked together. My “inner navigation” was so bad all of sudden, I didn't even know that it apparently was. So I went to the wrong bakery where the bread we always used to buy was a little more expensive. I was so overdone with that that I didn't care. I bought 5 breads for us, two for dad, two for her and only one for me. We all used to have two breads for the morning but I couldn't afford the second one for me. When I came back I told her my issue and explained that I didn't know where to go so I bought the bread in that bakery where I was. I was disappointed and upset and I didn't hide it. I never really do. She was understanding or at least not angry at all, she just said that we can go the way again or she tries to explain me the way. In the next times I found the right bakery but I seriously needed a self drawn map to find it … even though we have been walking there for three times.

Then one evening, she made some dinner- stuffed paprika with beef and rice and a really nice tomato sauce – and we started talking again about the issue I had. She started telling me that she thinks I could have a kind of disorder which I should already have had since the age of at least five.* She asked me then: 'Have you ever heard of the Asperger-Syndrome?” I of course said that I've never heard about that and asked what it is supposed to be. 'It is Autism or at least one of the many sorts of in the spectrum.' First I thought she's kidding me and in fact annoyed that I have got so many issues with things so that she called me like that or seriously thinks I should be autistic because I seem to be unable to do things. I thought she was offending me because all I knew about these people to that time is that they have a special or even strange behaviour. Also I mixed all these people up and have put them in one box because that is all I heard about them. I didn't know better. Then before I could ask if she's serious she already started telling me why she thinks like that: The way I talk, the fact that I never or barely looked in her eyes while we talked, the fact that I had that issue with finding the way which is actually a simple one – yes, it was... - and my talent and passion for drawing comics and illustrations in a really little time and almost totally perfectly. In addition the things my dad told her, how I was as a little kid and that I had problems to find the one or other friend at school as I never wanted to play with other kids in the kindergarten... she told me that all these things are very familiar to her. She is French-, English-, and German teacher and at the same time she worked half time in the school psychology to test children if they are gifted or having special problems with certain exercises and subjects. She has met many children there and some of them where autistic and behaved almost exactly like me. She also told me what's typical for that syndrome and the more she told me the more I recognized myself in her description. I was surprised and confused, nobody has ever told me about that before, no one ever mentioned that I could have it. I was only the antisocial, bad behaving kid – fun fact: bad behaving because I didn't always say thank you to someone – and many people didn't like me for that. She told me that we could make an online testing first before we start to maybe contact someone who's an expert in it. I agreed, what could go wrong? And I really wanted to know.

So, we made the online test which includes some general questions about my behaviour and “attitude” and the result told us: there is a high possibility for me to have the Asperger-Syndrome. It wasn't to 100% sure that I have it but it was a reason to contact that one person who's an expert in it and who could tell if I have. So dad's girlfriend contacted him and made an appointment. Unfortunately I was meant to wait over a year to get an appointment there and to finally figure out what's wrong with me. We didn't want to wait so we paid... and then we had an appointment just one week later.

We drove to Potsdam near Berlin where the person lived. We met him at his house – yes, where he lived and had his private life – and introduced ourselves, told him that we made this appointment with him because we think I could have the Asperger-Syndrome. And then he started to test me in different tasks. First of all I had to answer some several questions on a piece of paper. How do I feel in certain situations, what are my interests and hobbies, in which things I am absolutely not interested in even though these things are normally interesting to people at my age. I also had to watch pictures of human eyes to tell if these are happy, sad, angry or else. Then he asked my father about my childhood and if there was any special behaviour those days. Dad told what the matter was: I haven't had many friends, spent a lot of time alone in my room drawing comics for almost 2 hours because without that I got nervous and also aggressive. I needed this to feel comfortable. I had a strong imagination and fantasy, could create adventurous stories in a short time and when I was little – about 5 years old – I walked around with a little piece of paper or a small straw of wheat and talked to it or had conversations with it. Sometimes I even created conversations between two personalities, some kind of role play and all in my mind. People kept saying that this isn't a point because little kids mostly have a huge imagination in playing but the way I imagined was special and maybe a little odd. He also mentioned that on some days at my age 'now' – so eighteen those days – I've been sitting at the computer for about three hours – on some days less or even more – playing The Sims 3 creating crazy characters and building crazy houses. The way my dad told him seemed worried and I had such a feeling that my dad tried to convince that man to tell me that this isn't normal and I should stop that. But the man didn't say anything about it. He just wrote it down for the results if I've got the syndrome or not. The assessment was made of talking and answering to questions on a paper including some “riddles” I had to solute. And at the end of it – after six hours including a little break in between – the man told us that he'll check my answers out. He wasn't sure if I really got it but he could tell that he thinks I may got an attention disorder which prevents me to be focused all the time and which makes me easy to get distracted. And so we left the place and got prepared to wait for the results... until today.

Yes, you read correctly: I haven't got the results by that man until today and the appointment at his place was already about six years ago. Getting a diagnosis never lasts that long so we've tried to contact this man for many times. Not only my dad and his girlfriend but also doctors and psychologists later. Never got an answer and never got the diagnosis if there even was one.

Before this the relationship between me and dad's girlfriend got worse and dad and her began to argue really often. I didn't know if this happened more often than I realized and if they already argued before I came around but I felt kinda uneasy and even a little guilty for that. I also have an insecure personality disorder which makes me often and easily think to be guilty in many things even though it's not the truth. The arguing lasted pretty long and I realized it was probably because of me just like I thought. One time I passed their bed room and just by accident I listened and heard what she said about me. She said since I've been there they argue really often and that I might be the reason for it. I felt very bad for it and that situation got worse.

Later my dad apparently decided to leave with me. He planned to live at his brother's place with me as long as we try to figure out what to do next. The late afternoon before we left, dad's girlfriend sat at the table in the kitchen and she was sad, crying of course. I joined her and before I could ask what the matter is – I mean I knew it but yet I wanted to ask – she just looked into my eyes, furious, sad, disappointed, that's what I could tell because there wasn't anything to misunderstand in that look... she told me again, that dad is gonna leave her for me and I just replied that I am sorry for that, feeling guilty and that I never meant to make that happen.

She just said: 'Well I can't take that feeling of guilt away from you. And I don't want to. If I have to suffer, you should suffer too.'

Those words were very hard. They hurt me and made me feel like a huge mistake. I started thinking many thinks because... I wasn't just depressive. I was suicidal. And that feeling got stronger after hearing this. My dad gave me my suitcase and took his own one. We went downstairs and put them into the car. Then we left.

Some time ago I got a kind of 'legal guardian ', a very nice woman who took care of formal things and who also took a look on my money on my bank account. Her job was it to support me with all these things in life. My dad told her about the disaster we were in and that it's an emergency. So the woman did her best and found a place for me to stay at: A 'social psychological' commune for young people with depressions and other conditions – like me. This commune was in Kiel. My dad and I drove to that place for an introducing meeting to get to know the commune. It was a very nice place, the house was kind of 'JugendStil', so pretty vintage but also modern in either way. The educators there and also the Chef of the commune, a woman at the age of about 35 I guess, were totally nice to me. They noticed the emergency and understood why it was so important to me to finally get help. They met me as a very skinny, depressive person who was tired of life and being. I moved there and had finally the chance to be able to build up an own life.

Living in this commune I also found a psychologist there where I mentioned my Asperger-Syndrome which people think I could have. She started to contact the man in Potsdam too, even twice, as did my 'legal guardian '. No success, no answer, neither to the phone nor to the mail address. But it was certain that we need this diagnosis to maybe find the right therapy for me. So my psychologist contacted an other woman who is also making assessments like that. She came around one day and met me, started the assessment. But this assessment was different. This time my dad wasn't there to tell how I was a child. I repeated the things he told the man in Potsdam and answered to some questions the woman asked me. About my attitude, behaviour and so on. Actually the same but without testing sheets. At the same time she had a white board next to her and explained me what the Asperger-Syndrome actually is, how differently 'our' brain works in contrast to people without the syndrome. That was pretty interesting and something the man in Potsdam didn't do. I got tested in it and at the same time I learned what it actually is. I also gave permission to be filmed while she's testing me. I still have the video here and it's so weird to see how I looked those days. Much more different than now.

At the end of it all she told me: 'Well, you indeed got it. There is no doubt.' I was happy but confused at the same time. How is it possible that a person who is known for assessments like that wasn't sure about my syndrome but this woman who got the same knowledge has no doubts that I'm having it?

I then finally got my diagnosis that day and to be honest: I had a feeling that my life would turn into a better and more confident one because I finally knew who I am.

So Folks, that's my story how I got the diagnosis. It's a pretty long text but I needed to tell you everything what happened to finally get the explanation of who and what I am. You see, the way to this diagnosis can be very long and complicated. The man hasn't given me my diagnosis yet until today, there for I got it from an other person at the same day where I got tested and it was obviously clear that I have it.

Maybe you're prepared now if you should ever want to get tested and as I've already said: This is only my story. It could be that you'll get an appointment much quicker than me and that you get your diagnosis just some days or weeks later – not like with that man who has never given me this until today – maybe you also get the result on the same day as I got from that woman. Just be sure and think about these things before you try to get an appointment: Do you really need it because you want to know what's wrong with you? Because you need special help which you can only get if you have that diagnosis? Would it help you or others to understand you? Or do you actually have no issues with it so that it doesn't matter? Think about these questions before you go on a probably exhausting journey as me, prepare yourself and listen to what your heart needs. My heart needed an explanation for my personality to realize that it's not because of me people got problems with my personality. It's because of them because they have never taken the time to figure out what kind of person I am.

Just saying: There are many people who love the way I am. I seem to be a cool person, not as crap as some idiots tried to make me think.

Have a good day, friends! See you later!

#asperger-syndrome #autism spectrum disorder #assessment #diagnosis #condition #lost in the spectrum #storytelling

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phantom-le6 · 3 years

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Episode Reviews - Star Trek The Next Generation Season 1 (3 of 6)

As we draw close to crossing the first month of 2021 off the calendar to make room for February, which in my view is only of use for Pancake Day and nothing more, I’m back with yet more reviews from the first season of Star Trek: TNG. Will these episodes prove any better than those of the first two rounds, or are we looking at more lemons with warp engines? Let’s find out…

Episode 10: Hide and Q

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

The Enterprise is en route to Quadra Sigma to aid colonists caught in a methane explosion when Q re-appears and demands that they abandon their mission to compete in a game. He teleports Commander Riker and the bridge crew, with the exception of Captain Picard, to a barren landscape and appears in front of them wearing a uniform of a Napoleonic era French marshal. He explains the rule of the game is to stay alive, and after Lt. Yar refuses to compete, he transports her back to the bridge of the Enterprise in a "penalty box".

Q returns to the bridge too, to talk Picard into setting a wager. He explains that the Q Continuum is testing Commander Riker to see if he is worthy of being granted their powers. Picard, having the utmost faith in his First Officer, takes the bet, as winning it would mean Q would get off their backs. Meanwhile, Riker and his team are attacked by what Lt. Worf reports as "vicious animal things" wearing French soldier uniforms from the Napoleonic era and armed with muskets that fire energy bolts instead of the classic projectiles. Q returns to Riker and tells him that he has granted him the powers of the Continuum, and Riker promptly returns his crew mates to the ship but remains behind with Q to ultimately reject the powers. Q brings the crew back to the landscape, this time without their phasers and with Picard. The crew are attacked once more by the aliens, and both Worf and Wesley Crusher are killed. Riker uses the powers of the Q to return the crew again and bring both Worf and Wesley back to life.

Riker makes a promise to Picard never to use the powers again and the ship arrives at Quadra Sigma. A rescue team beams down and discovers a young girl who has died. Riker is tempted to save her, but in the end, he refuses to do so out of respect for his promise. However, he quickly shows signs of regret at this decision, which he expresses to the captain. Tension between Picard and his first officer grows as Riker now seems to be embracing his powers, and his behaviour toward the crew begins to change. At Q's suggestion, and with Picard's blessing, Riker uses his powers to give his friends what he believes they want, turning Wesley into an adult, giving La Forge normal sight in place of his visor, and creating a Klingon female companion for Worf. All the recipients reject their gifts, however, with Data even anticipating and declining Riker's attempt to make him human. Picard declares that Q has failed, and when Q attempts to go back on his word, he is forcibly recalled to the Continuum. Picard is pleased to see Q gone, and praises Riker for confirming his trust in his "Number One".

Review:

There are two main reasons to enjoy this episode; Q and Picard. This is the first time since the pilot that we’ve seen Q and Picard interact, and it’s much better this time because both the actors are a bit more at grips with their characters. The scene in the Captain’s ready room between the pair where they both quote Shakespeare is one of the real highlights of the first season, a veritable miniature diamond in a season-long run of rough. In some respects, it’s almost a pity Picard-Q meet-ups aren’t more frequent, but ultimately, I think that they have to be done as little as possible to retain some impact in the later seasons.

Unfortunately, the episode lacks sufficient subtlety in trying to convey a story about power corrupting. The key reason why the Dark Phoenix story in the X-Men comics is a classic that no adaptation has ever effectively captured is because it involves Jean Grey being corrupted by power slowly, inch by inch, until circumstances push her over the edge. When the Primarch Horus is turned to Chaos in the Horus Heresy novels that form part of Warhammer 40,000 lore, it’s not an overnight transformation from the noble being he was to the power-mad tyrant laying waste to Terra years later. It’s a slow, gradual seduction by power, and a single episode of any TV show doesn’t give that.

As a result, the idea of Riker’s shift in character and attitude seems too rapid and falls flat. The only thing that doesn’t fall flat is how the rest of the cast reacts when Riker tries to act with benevolence. It’s a testament to each of them how they resist being granted their supposedly fondest wishes. I especially applaud Geordi and the autistic-like Data for their choices. I never like stories that try to push the idea that characters who are somehow differently abled, either blatantly or through the metaphor of a genre-specific concept, should always want to eliminate that difference. Maybe Geordi can’t see like everyone else, but considering all the different things he can see with his visor, it’s not like the vision he has is any better or worse. It’s just a pity his reason for saying no was more about not liking a Q-style Riker than about accepting himself and all the goodness inherent in that.

Add in Troi not being around at a time when her character could be very annoying without much effort, and you’ve got an episode that has many saving graces propping up a poor execution of a decent core concept. End score for this one, probably 7 out of 10.

Episode 11: Haven

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

The Enterprise arrives at the planet Haven, where the ship's half-Betazoid Counsellor Deanna Troi has been summoned by her mother Lwaxana. Deanna had previously been set into an arranged marriage to the young human doctor, Wyatt Miller, and his parents have since tracked down Lwaxana to enforce the marriage. After Lwaxana and the Millers are welcomed aboard the Enterprise, the parents argue over whose cultural traditions will be honoured at the ceremony. Deanna and Wyatt attempt to get to know each other but find it difficult, as Deanna is still in love with Commander William Riker. Wyatt has had numerous dreams of another woman with whom he has fallen in love, and had initially believed her to be Deanna communicating telepathically with him.

The Enterprise then learns of an unmarked vessel approaching Haven. Captain Picard recognizes it as Tarellian, a race they thought to have been wiped out by a highly lethal and contagious virus. When they contact the ship, they find a handful of Tarellian refugees who have been travelling at sub-light speeds to Haven in hopes of finding an isolated location to live out the rest of their lives in peace. Picard insists that they cannot go to the planet for fear of spreading the virus, and has the Tarellian vessel placed in a tractor beam. Wyatt discovers that one of the Tarellians, Ariana, is the woman from his dreams, and she too recognizes Wyatt. Wyatt tells Dr Crusher that he will transport some medical supplies to them, but transports himself along with the supplies. When the crew discovers this, Wyatt's parents demand that Picard bring Wyatt back to the Enterprise, but Denna insists that he cannot return, as Wyatt would now carry the Tarellian virus. Wyatt promises his parents, Deanna, and the rest of the crew that he knew that this would be his destiny, and is happy to try to help cure the Tarellian virus. Wyatt convinces the Tarellians to leave Haven and search for help elsewhere. Picard orders the tractor beam to be dropped and allows the vessel to depart the system.

Review:

When it comes to Majel Barrett in the era of the TNG-DS9-Voyager shows, her best work as a guest star is her voice work as the voice of any given Starfleet computer. Her worst work is when she’s guest-starring as Deanna Troi’s mother. Her whole character is the very definition of nails on a chalk board, and it’s very rare if ever that an episode featuring her can be anything good. That said, her presence does help to improve Deanna’s character just because it means Deanna’s suddenly no longer the most likely to irk you with her characterisation. Basically, anytime Deanna’s on the screen at this early stage in the show, all I can think is “please don’t have her go all over-sensitive like she did in the pilot.”

Leaving the Troi family aside, the episode isn’t much to get excited about. Just a run-of-the-mill b-plot about a plague ship that interconnects with the main plot nicely to save us from the Trek equivalent of a shotgun wedding. Frankly, I’d have preferred it if they’d done a plot exploring the arranged marriage idea and casting it down as the terrible idea it is, but then I suppose it wouldn’t be politic to do that with a culture that is part-and-parcel of the Federation instead of being the guest-race-of-the-week. I’d give this one about 3 out of 10.

Episode 12: The Big Goodbye

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

The Enterprise heads to Torona IV to open negotiations with the Jarada, an insect-like race that are unusually strict in matters of protocol. After practicing the complex greeting the Jarada require to open negotiations, Captain Jean-Luc Picard decides to relax with a Dixon Hill story in the holodeck. Playing Detective Hill in the holo-program, Picard takes up the case of Jessica Bradley, who believes that Cyrus Redblock is trying to kill her. Picard decides to continue the program later and leaves the holodeck to affirm their estimated arrival at Torona IV. He invites Dr Beverly Crusher and historian crewmember Whalen to join him in the holodeck. While Crusher is still preparing, Picard and Whalen are ready to enter the holodeck when Lt. Commander Data arrives, having overheard Picard's invitation. Entering the holodeck, the three discover that Jessica has been murdered in Picard's absence. As Picard explains that he saw Jessica at his office the day before, Lt. Bell brings Picard into the police station for questioning as a suspect in her murder. Meanwhile, the Enterprise is scanned from a distance by the Jarada, causing a power surge in the holodeck external controls. Dr Crusher later enters the holodeck, first experiencing a momentary glitch with the holodeck doors, and joins her friends at the police station.

The Jarada demand their greeting earlier than the agreed time and are insulted at having to talk to anyone other than the Captain. The crew tries to communicate with Picard in the holodeck but finds it impossible; the Jarada signal has affected the holodeck's functions, preventing the doors from opening or allowing communication with the crew inside. Lt. Geordi La Forge and Wesley Crusher attempt to repair the holodeck systems. While inside the holodeck, the group returns to Dixon's office. Mr. Leech appears, having waited for Picard, demanding he turn over an object he believes Jessica gave him. When Picard fails to understand, Leech shoots Dr. Whalen with a gun, and the crew discovers that the safety protocols have been disabled, as Whalen is severely wounded. As Dr Crusher cares for his wound, Picard and Data discover that the holodeck is malfunctioning, and they are unable to exit the program. Mr. Leech is joined by Redblock, who continues to demand the object. Lt. McNary arrives and becomes involved in the standoff. Picard tries to explain the nature of the holodeck, but Redblock refuses to believe him.

Outside, Wesley finds the glitch; however, he cannot simply turn off the system for fear of losing everyone inside. Instead, Wesley resets the simulation, briefly placing Picard and the others in the middle of a snowstorm before finding themselves back in Dixon's office. With the reset successfully clearing the malfunction, the exit doors finally appear. Despite Picard's warnings, Redblock and Leech exit the holodeck, but dissipate as they move beyond the range of its holo-emitters. As they leave the holodeck, Picard thanks McNary, who now suspects that his world is artificial and asks whether Picard's departure is "the big goodbye", to which Picard replies that he simply doesn't know. Picard reaches the bridge in time to give the proper greeting to the Jarada. The Jarada accept the greeting, heralding the start of successful negotiations.

Review:

The Big Goodbye has a special place in the era of holodeck era of Trek as the first example of a “holodeck-gone-wrong” episode. Later episodes of this series and the spin-off shows Deep Space Nine and Voyager would return to the premise of holodeck malfunctions time and again as either minor or major plot points. Unfortunately, the holodeck is already going wrong as a plot device in the show just from a technical realisation standpoint.

The basic idea of the holodeck is that it creates 3D images that resemble whatever is programmed into the computer, with some kind of force-fields giving the images substance while other aspects of the technology fill in the proverbial blanks (e.g. special programming to create interactive characters, localised environmental controls, etc.) However, everything that exists within the holodeck can only exist within the range of the room’s tech; if anything created by the holodeck moves beyond its walls, it should instantly cease to be. However, in the Farpoint pilot, Wesley Crusher fell into water on the holodeck, and when he walked out into the corridor, he remained wet and dripping when all the holographic water should have disappeared the instance he walked through the exit.

Likewise, in this episode Picard picks up a lipstick mark when he first tries the holodeck’s new upgrades, and that should have disappeared when he later briefs the crew in the observation lounge. Instead, Dr Crusher has to wipe the lipstick off for the captain, despite the fact it should have disappeared from Picard’s face long ago. It’s an annoying issue, and one that could have been easily fixed even back in the 1980’s when this show was made; evidently, this was just another example of how bad the show was at this stage. If TNG ever gets the kind of reboot the original series did, I sincerely hope any use of the holodecks pays attention to and rectifies this error in the application of the holodeck concept.

Otherwise, this episode doesn’t do much more than give Brent Spiner a bit more to do with Data by having him impersonate a 40’s-style gangers and give Patrick Stewart someone else to be besides the captain of the latest version of the Enterprise. It’s a fairly well-made episode for season 1 of this show, and it really sells the illusion of the holodeck program for the most part. The people who made the show just needed to learn that anything that gets made in the holodeck stays in the holodeck. I’d give it about 5 out of 10.

Episode 13: Datalore

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

While on the way to Starbase Armus IX for computer maintenance, the Enterprise arrives at the planet Omicron Theta, the site of a vanished colony where the starship Tripoli originally found the android Data. An away team travels to the surface and finds that what had been farmland is now barren with no trace of life in the soil. The team also finds a lab which they discover is where Dr. Noonien Soong, a formerly prominent but now discredited robotics designer, built Data. The team also find a disassembled android nearly identical to Data and return with it to the ship. As the course to the Starbase is resumed, the crew reassemble and reactivate Data's "brother" in sickbay. He refers to himself as Lore, and explains that Data was built first and he himself is the more perfect model. He feigns naiveté to the crew, but shows signs of being more intelligent than he is letting on. Later, in private, he tells Data that they were actually created in the opposite order, as the colonists became envious of his own perfection. He also explains that a crystalline space entity capable of stripping away all life force from a world was responsible for the colony's demise.

Lore then incapacitates Data, revealing that he plans to offer the ship's crew to the entity. When a signal transmission is detected from Data's quarters, Wesley Crusher arrives to investigate. He finds Lore, now impersonating Data, who explains that he had to incapacitate his brother after being attacked. Wesley is doubtful, but pretends to accept the explanation. Soon after, the same crystalline entity that had attacked the colony approaches the ship. Lore, still pretending to be Data, enters the bridge as the object hovers before the Enterprise and explains that he incapacitated his brother by turning him off, causing Doctor Beverly Crusher to be suspicious, since Data had previously treated the existence of such a feature as a closely guarded secret. Lore then explains that he can communicate with the crystalline entity and suggests to Captain Jean-Luc Picard that he should show a demonstration of force by beaming an object toward the entity and then destroying it with the ship's phasers.

Lore's attempts to imitate Data are imperfect, though initially only Wesley is suspicious, and his efforts to voice these concerns only draw rude rebukes from Picard and his mother. However, Picard does ultimately become suspicious, especially when Lore does not recognize Picard's usual command to "make it so". Although Picard sends a security detachment to tail him, Lore overpowers Lt. Worf and evades pursuit. Meanwhile, the suspicious Dr Crusher and Wesley reactivate the unconscious Data, and the three of them race to the cargo hold to find Lore plotting with the entity to defeat the Enterprise. When Lore discovers them, he threatens Wesley with a phaser and orders Dr Crusher to leave. Data quickly rushes Lore and a brawl ensues. Data manages to knock Lore onto the transporter platform, and Wesley activates it, beaming Lore into space. With its conspirator no longer aboard, the crystalline entity departs, and the Enterprise resumes its journey to the starbase.

Review:

This episode very heavily relies on answering the mystery of Data’s origin and giving him a villainous brother in a manner similar to the Thor-Loki dynamic of Marvel superhero lore (pardon the inadvertent pun) to make it worth watching, because goodness knows it falls down everywhere else. Spiner is remarkable playing the treacherous Lore alongside his regular character of Data, and it’s fun to see him make the best of what ultimately becomes a poor episode on other fronts.

I know some reviewers have stated they don’t understand Lore’s motives for allying with the Crystalline Entity, but as a Marvel fan, it’s actually fairly easy to deduce. Much like Loki in Marvel’s Thor franchise, Lore is a bit of a trickster, an android Q but without the pseudo-godhood or ultimately benign motives of Q. Also like Loki, Lore is the unfavoured son, one who was basically cast aside in favour of something supposedly better, so he’s turned against the humanity his brother admires and emulates out of jealousy and the pain of rejection. It’s not a hard motive to grasp, but with Lore not explicitly saying it, you need that knowledge of another fictional reference to make the deduction. Given that Marvel lore was largely overlooked by the adult world until superheroes were made into a legitimate cinematic genre at the turn of the century, it’s unlikely many original reviewers would have made the link.

However, as I’ve noted, the episode falls apart in other respects. The crew’s haste to reassemble Data’s brother mid-flight is very risky behaviour more akin to the cowboy antics of Kirk’s crew from the original series than Picard’s more measured approach, and they are remarkably stupid in failing to catch onto Lore’s threat. Only Wesley shows the requisite insight and intelligence, but expresses it poorly because at this time no one on the show could write Wesley with any kind of competence. As a result, Picard ends up looking like a total git for his outburst at Wesley, Wesley’s mother comes off almost as bad, and when it turns out that, as ever, Wesley was right, there’s no apology from Picard at all. On balance, this episode rates about 5 out of 10, which can be taken as the anti-Wesley acting having a severely detrimental impact on a great Spiner performance, or a great Spiner performance saving the episode by some horrid Wesley-bashing.

Episode 14: Angel One

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

The Enterprise arrives at the planet Angel One, which is ruled by an oligarchy of women. The ship is looking for survivors from the shipwrecked freighter Odin, over seven years after having been evacuated. The freighter was missing three escape pods and the only planet in range was Angel One. An away team consisting of Commander William Riker, Lt. Commander Data, Lt. Tasha Yar, and Counsellor Deanna Troi beam down to the surface. They attempt to negotiate with Mistress Beata, the "Elected One" of the native inhabitants, to let them search for the survivors. Time is of the essence however, as the Enterprise must travel to a Federation outpost near the Romulan Neutral Zone (where a group of Romulan Battlecruisers has been detected) as soon as they resolve their investigation into the Odin survivors.

Beata reveals that they are aware of four male survivors of the Odin who have caused disruption in their society, and are considered fugitives. Beata requests Riker stay with her (and later requests that he order Troi, Data, and Yar to track down the survivors' camp and their leader Ramsey, while staying and dining with her). After some back and forth, Data concludes Ramsey and the survivors of the Odin would have platinum with them, and Angel One is naturally devoid of platinum, allowing the Enterprise to easily detect them. Meanwhile, Riker dresses in the garb given to him for his dinner with Beata, Troi and Yar tease him for dressing in clothes that sexualize him and, in some ways, demean him. He responds by saying he is honouring the local customs, and acknowledges Beata's beauty, and that the garb is rather comfortable.

The Enterprise searches while in orbit around Angel One. Doctor Beverly Crusher relieves Captain Jean-Luc Picard of duty after he and most of the crew have fallen ill to a random virus on board. The Captain leaves Lieutenant Geordi La Forge in command (Geordi's first time in acting command of a starship). Shortly after, they find Ramsey and transmit his location to the Away Team, who beam directly to there.

When confronted by Data, Yar, and Troi, Ramsey and his men, having taken wives and started families during the seven years, refuse to leave. Data points out that as the Odin was not a star fleet vessel, its crew is not bound by the Prime Directive and the Enterprise cannot remove them against their will. Geordi informs Yar of the medical situation on board, and that more Romulan ships have been detected near the Neutral Zone. Riker gets close to Beata as they compare how gender roles differ between Angel One and the Federation. On the Enterprise, systems are becoming harder to maintain with more crew succumbing to the virus. Geordi (after a friendly reminder from a sniffling Worf) remembers that in command, he must delegate tasks so he can stay on the bridge. Dr Crusher finds that the virus is an airborne organism that produces a sweet smell, to encourage inhalation, after which it becomes viral inside the body.

Riker gets up to date with the situation, and decides that while Ramsey and his group are at large and refusing to leave the planet, there is little they can do. Before leaving they find that one of Beata's fellow mitstresses, Ariel, has married Ramsey, and was followed by Beata's guards to their camp, where they arrested the survivors and their families. The Away Team attempt to explain to Beata the reason for Ramsey's refusal to leave. Beata and her council reject his reasoning, and threatens to execute them the following day. After failing to convince Ramsey and his group to leave with them, Riker contacts the Enterprise in hopes of transporting Ramsey and his group without their consent (despite it being a violation of the Prime Directive, and almost certainly an end to his career). However, Dr Crusher (while treating an incapacitated Geordi in the Captain's chair) refuses to allow anyone to beam aboard for fear of them being infected, but allows Data, an android, to return. Riker orders Data to take command and get the Enterprise to the Neutral Zone before it's too late.

The following morning the Away Team is invited to witness the execution of Ramsey and his followers. Moments after Riker rejects their invitation Data makes contact and informs them that there is a 48-minute window in which Dr Crusher has to find a cure, and Riker must defuse the situation on the planet before the ship must leave for the Neutral Zone. On the planet, Ramsey and his men are prepared to be executed by disintegration despite Ariel's pleas, while Dr Crusher discovers a cure for the virus. Riker is prepared to have the away team and the Odin survivors beamed to the Enterprise, but makes a plea that execution will do Angel One’s society little good. He contends that Ramsey and his men have simply become a symbol for pre-existing dissatisfaction with the current society on Angel One, an evolutionary change that execution may only accelerate by turning Ramsey’s group into martyrs.

After deliberating with her fellow mistresses, Beata announces that she will stay the execution and banish Ramsey, his men, their families, and any others that support them to the far side of the planet. She explains that their banishment will not stop the fall of the oligarchy, but will slow it down enough that Beata will not be around to see its end. The away team return to the ship and Picard, already recovering from the virus but hardly having a voice, orders the ship to the Neutral Zone at high warp.

Review:

Apparently, the idea of this episode was look at South Africa’s apartheid system, but using a gender-based schism in a female-dominated society to explore the concept along gender lines rather than being more direct and using anything akin to a racial divide. As a result, the intention is lost behind some very horrendously sexist rubbish that makes the show seem more like a bad parody of feminism. The episode also has a lousy b-plot of a virus story that adds nothing to the episode, and again showcases how badly the holodeck concept was being handled at this time. A snowball from a holodeck skiing program should not be able to go through the holodeck doors to hit Picard and Worf in the corridor. 2 out of 10 is all this episode deserves.

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olympianpandback · 3 years

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April 12 - 15

We got out of Roswell fairly early and headed to White Sands National Park near Holloman Air Force base. We decided to see if they had a spot at the RV park on base. They did but we had to register with the public health officer on base to verify that we had gotten our COVID 19 shots. The Tech sergeant that worked with us was very helpful and we got the paperwork completed on the phone which he forwarded to the visitor center where we had to pick up our pass. We got to the base visitor center and it was a seamless process. It turns out we are both in the Air Force computer system. It’s scary that we are, but makes getting on Air Force bases much easier. Let’s see what happens in California! I'm good to get on base anytime with my ID card and Elizabeth has to get daily or a certain number of days Pass. The campground was very nice with very clean bathrooms and a free laundromat because they are planning an upgrade to larger machines, yea. We checked in and went back to the White Sands National Park to look around. It is an absolutely beautiful place. It’s the largest gypsum area in the world over 200000 acres (275 sq. miles). We took a one-mile walk that has descriptors of the wildlife and how they survive. The definitions and descriptions were very detailed and interesting how animal and insect life survives and thrives in a desert environment. It was difficult to walk certain parts but if you knew to get all the beaten track and walk on the hardpacked sand that the wind had blown flat, it was easier. It was pretty warm and of course dry but we hydrated before we left and had a relatively easy walk. The signs weren’t clear about which direction start so we ended up going backwards. I've always been a contrarian by nature and that didn't bother me at all. We met people coming in the opposite direction, just smiled and kept going. There was a different 600' boardwalk further on with easy walking with more descriptions of how the white sand developed. It turns out that there is moisture only 3' deep according to the signs. We kept driving into the park for a couple of miles until we came to the end of the pavement and turned around because the RV doesn't do well on washboard roads even though the sand was well compacted. We decided turn around and head back to camp. We had an uneventful evening with really good sleeping weather in the high forties to mid-fifties and dry, so dry. During our walk in the morning around the campground we bumped into a woman who had a German accent. I asked her where she was from and she said Illinois. I said where were you born. She said Berlin. We had a nice 30 minute conversation in German, mostl,y so I could practice my German. Marion is a very nice lady and we promised to give her some information about the windows in our house. She may want to upgrade her windows because it is so hard to clean them. That’s what we like about traveling, you meet some of the most interesting people.

April 14

Before we left the Air Force base in the morning and we went to buy some military T-shirts for Nunzio. We decided to go to the commissary to look around. Much to our surprise, we found real German bread from a bakery in El Paso. They had 2 of my favorites, farmers bread and Roggen brot (Rye bread). We snagged a loaf of each and now are trying to figure out how to preserve them for a couple of weeks. We were able to freeze most of the farmers bread and we will be eating ham and cheese on German bread for a couple of days for sure. The refrigerator is starting to get cleared out because we are using what we had there when we left home. On our way to Silver City, we saw something called Dripping Springs National Monument. We decided to take a side trip to look around and ended up taking a 1.5 mile hike up the mountain to see the Dripping Springs area. In the past there had been a hotel and Sanitorium there. It was a pretty strenuous hike but we made it along with couple of other crazy people to see water dripping out of a rock in some abandoned buildings. You will see the pictures below this narrative. We then headed towards Silver City knowing we wouldn’t get there until dinner time so we called ahead and booked two nights at an RV park near downtown. It is a very nice campground and we got a place right across from the bathhouse. We don’t always use full hookups because is too much trouble for 1 or 2 nights especially when we have to disconnect to go sightseeing.

April 15, 2021 we left the campground about 10 o’clock to drive the Cliff dwellings along the trail of the ancients byway. It took us an hour and a half to drive 45 miles because the road was very curvy and crossed the continental divide at 6900 feet. Along the way we ran into the couple we met in Albuquerque again for the third time and had a small chat as they were leaving the pictograph site. We asked if they were staying at the passport America campground and they were not. They ask if we thought the passport America pass was worth it. We said we paid for our annual fee in the first 4 camp sites. We agreed to sponsor them so they can get 6 more months on a regular subscription we will get 6 more months on our current stupid gin plus a $10 rebate. The walk up to the Cliff dwellings was fairly easy except for the 185 feet stairway section which was like climbing an 18 story building. We could not enter the Cliff dwellings, allegedly because of spring break which created spike in COVID 19 cases in New Mexico. I think it was a cop out to keep people out. The brochure says there are 42 rooms that YOU can walk through and investigate in normal times. Oh well, you have to adapt and adjust in this time frame. Before we started our trip to the cliff dwellings, we met a couple who had shipped RV over from Stuttgart to Argentina to start a world tour, probably more a South American in North American tour. They drove along the coast and west of South America all way up to Costa Rica until COVID hit. They were stuck for 5 months in Costa Rica. They shipped their RV to Florida’s east coast and began a journey around America before heading to Alaska via Canada, oops COVID. The RV can stay in America for a year, but they have to leave after 180 days. They cannot get a waiver and there is no other country they can go to for one day. Ironically, they got one of the lottery passes to the wave rock formation in Arizona last year. We know people who have been trying for 10 years to get a pass to walk up to the Wave formation in Arizona. When we get closer, we may try to win the lottery using the formula that they used by registering for Saturday Sunday and Monday where they had 3 lottery drawings. Hey only 1% of people get to go there and we’d like to be in that group. We drove down from the mountain and did the rest of the loop trail of the ancients past Lake Roberts where we stopped for coffee and back to our campground before cocktail hour. That’s all folks through April the 15th.

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