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#just give the skeleton a dick
koolaidmansb1tch · 2 months
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⚠️TW⚠️ NSFW Mentions!!
People really out here not taking any creative liberties for Brook. He’s literally a walking, talking, dramatic ass Skeleton with hair. That on its own is already unrealistic as hell.
But also think about it, what’s holding him together? There is not an ounce of muscle or cartilage on those bones to hold him together much less help him move about. How is he talking? He is literally just a Skeleton, he hasn’t any vocal chords or lungs to make a single sound and much less a tongue or lips to form actual words. And his hair? Hair is not, in fact, attached to the skull.
Take some liberties!!! He wears clothes doesn’t he? Give him an actual reason to cover up! This is fantastical anime, play around with it! There are literal fish people walking about on land, who the hell says a Skeleton can’t have a dick?? Or at least some tendrils of some kind!
He’s already a pervert give him a way to follow through
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starry-bi-sky · 11 days
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tales of the passerine - danny fenton being bruce wayne's first kid
okay okay. so this is like a continuation/elaboration of my oneshot/prompt i wrote about the idea that Danny was the first batkid. We have a lot of aus where he joins the family after the rest of the bats do, right? So hey! Lets shake things up a bit. Danny is the first to be adopted by Bruce Wayne.
Danny's parents and unfortunately Jazz die shortly after the events of TUE -- how so? I was gonna say an ecto-filter explosion, that would call back to the TUE explosion and trauma behind that. But lets do something new! Carbon-monoxide poisoning.
It's not too unexpected for something to break in the Fenton house, especially with the Fenton parents' questionable understanding of proper weapon handling and lab safety. The water heater broke from a stray shot by one of the weapons, and was promptly MacGyver'd incorrectly. Danny went to stay with Tucker for a guys' night, and came back to a dead silent house.
(Danny's neighbors got a very unfortunate shock when he ran to the next house over in hysterics.)
There was a lot of shuffling around with CPS, the police. People had to be called in to handle the equipment in the lab, and the GIW was rumoring to show up in aid to clearing the scene. When Danny heard of that, he immediately went and dismantled the ghost portal to the best of his abilities. He burned the physical blueprints of all his parents' inventions, their blueprints on the ghost portal, and their most dangerous weapons were destroyed beyond recognition. Anything to prevent the GIW from getting their hands on his parents' tech.
It opened up another investigation, but he was not under the list of suspects. He was placed in the care of Vlad Masters, where they then went back to the rebuilt castle mansion in Wisconsin. Danny, terrified of the future that has once passed and may do so again, shuts down in his grief. Inadvertently, he ends up somewhat repressing his ghost half. Something Vlad, who is grieving Madeline but relishing in Jack's demise and his custody of Daniel, is not very happy with.
Vlad's... gone into a bit of a mental health spiral. He's becoming increasingly possessive over Daniel, the final remnants of his friends and a liminal being like him. He doesn't like that Danny's repressing his ghost half -- both out of genuine concern as a ghost, but also because of his desire to control Danny and groom him into the perfect son. If you ever had a phase where you read Dark SBI found family fics, first off; me too bro, and second off; those are the vibes I'm thinking of.
Danny's mentally shut down from grief! And fear. He's dropped into a bad depressive state -- paralyzed with grief and the terror of the inevitable. Clockwork saved his parents because he believes in second chances, but what's the point of that when his family ended up dead anyways? Danny doesn't wanna believe that he's destined to become evil, and he's holding out onto that hope, but it's a thin line, and he feels utterly hopeless and trapped. He hasn't used his powers or ghost form since he trashed the lab, and Vlad has alarms set up to prevent him from trying to escape.
He's also unintentionally cut off Sam and Tucker -- both of whom are so scared and concerned for Danny too, and are trying their damndest to reach out to him. He keeps ignoring their texts. Danny basically haunts Vlad's manor. He goes out to eat if he has to, attends parties Vlad drags him to, and stays in his room all day if he can.
At parties, Vlad doesn't allow Danny to leave his side, or really talk to anyone -- not that Danny wants to. A product of Vlad's increasing possessiveness. Well, he almost doesn't let Danny leave his side. Danny has a habit of slipping off to hide somewhere for the parties whenever he can, and Vlad reluctantly allows it so long as he stays alone.
This becomes an advantage when eventually, Bruce Wayne returns to Gotham after missing for years, and holds a bright charity ball to celebrate the return. Vlad has been chomping at the bits to get his hands on Wayne Industries, and with the return of its owner there is no better opportunity to wipe out his rival. He goes, and he as normal, brings Daniel with him.
Vlad thinks Wayne will bleed his little heart out for Daniel's poor orphan sob story -- he's a fellow orphan himself, after all. He's not wrong; Wayne's little heart will bleed, just not in the way that benefits him.
Bruce sees Vlad and Danny approaching before they're even close enough to introduce themselves - and like with many of the children he will soon come to care for, it's like someone set a mirror into the past right in front of him.
Danny Fenton's suit is tailor-made for him, and despite the fact that it's his perfect size, the sag in his shoulders, the ducked down head, and the way he hunches into himself all pictures the image of a child in shoes too big for him. There's a far away, glazed over look in his eyes and grief marble-cut into the lines of his face. There's not enough makeup in the world that will hide the dark circles under his eyes.
("My nephew, Daniel Fenton." Vlad's hands are possessive on Danny's shoulders. Bruce immediately notices the way the boy tenses under his touch. "His parents passed recently, and as his godfather I was designated his guardian.") ("I'm so sorry, the loss must've been terrible.") ("Yes, carbon-monoxide poisoning caused it. Daniel was out with friends, when he came home... they had already passed.") (Bruce immediately dislikes that Vlad shared the details of their death unprompted -- he likes it even less when Danny flinches at the reminder and hunches into himself.)
Danny runs off at some point earlier into the charity. At this point, parties are still being held at Wayne Manor (because iirc google search mentioned that was a thing at first before it was changed), so he disappears and hides in one of the empty rooms nearby. It just so happens to be the same room Bruce Wayne hides in when he needs a break from all of the socialization.
Thus begins a long, long process of trust. Bruce can't reveal his hand as being smarter than he looks, but he can be compassionate. Kindness needs no measure of intelligence. He keeps Danny company for as long as he can before he runs the risk of being found.
Rinse and repeat. Vlad insistently wants Wayne Industries, and he'll go to as many Wayne parties as he can to get his hooks into the man. The problem is that Bruce Wayne is never alone, and getting him alone is impossible. Finding him too. It's like the man never stops moving. Always talking to someone, always circling somewhere. He orbits around the room as if he isn't the sun of the Gotham Elite's solar system.
Danny's had such repetitive behavior that Vlad never thinks to believe that Bruce Wayne is disappearing to go talk to him. That "Vlad's" son is even interacting with him at all. Danny never gives him a reason to think so, and neither does Bruce.
Danny doesn't actually acknowledge Bruce until a handful of parties in, where he hands Bruce a small slip of paper he smuggled in that says; "don't trust Vlad". Danny's face stays carefully blank, but he's so tense that his hands are trembling, and he's purposely looking away from him. Bruce plasters a smile onto his face, slips the paper into his pocket, and tells him "okay".
(he's been busy with his own goals with the mafia, but he sets aside time to investigate Vlad Masters. He was holding off. Until now.)
Danny does eventually start speaking to Bruce, he's starting to really like the guy. He's starting to see a little hope, even as Vlad is starting to get more and more agitated with him the more he refuses to use his powers.
He reaches out to Sam and Tucker again, and starts trying to reconnect with them. Vlad has spyware on his phone, and he limits the amount of times he can talk to them. A weird parental control lock of some sort that leaves a time limit on how long he can talk to them for. 30 minutes. Danny doesn't tell them anything about Mr. Wayne.
Danny, slowly, wants out of here, and he's slowly gathering the motivation to do it. Vlad is genuinely scaring him -- and Danny wonders just how truthful the past-future Vlad was when he told him that Danny wanted his ghost half separate. He starts trying to come up with an escape plan.
Vlad has anti-ghost wards everywhere around the mansion, and while they're always on, they boost to full power at sunset. The doors and windows are always locked, all main exits have alarms set on them. The only reason it's not super extensive is because Danny hasn't tried leaving at all yet, so Vlad hasn't had to tighten anything.
At night, Vlad locks the door to his room and puts up an anti-ghost ward around the room. The mansion is on the outside westward side of Madison, more entrenched in rural Wisconsin. The closest town is a four-way stop sign with one house on three corners, and an open bar on the fourth. Not much to go.
He refuses to go to Sam and Tucker; Vlad would look there first. It's too dangerous. Vlad would sound alarm bells and have a manhunt looking for him, Danny can't risk going just anywhere. Too much risk of being found, sold out, or caught. There's really nowhere for him to hide.
Until there is. Bruce is telling Danny about the history of Wayne Manor, and says, as casually as saying the weather; "The manor has dozens of empty rooms, I'm sure Alfred wouldn't mind filling another one if he could." And quietly, hesitantly, Bruce places a careful hand on Danny's shoulder, unrestrictive and gentle; "He wouldn't mind getting one ready for you if you need one."
And there it is. There's his out.
Danny, just as quietly, replies; "I'll keep that in mind."
The ball starts rolling.
Now I've been trying to summarize this au as much as possible for length convenience, but Vlad has been steadily growing more and more controlling. More emotionally manipulative. More agitated at Danny for not using his powers.
He wants Wayne Industries under his thumb but he's been steadily growing more and more concerned with Danny. He's started grabbing him, yanking him around, shaking him; trying to goad him into using his powers. He gets angry when Danny doesn't react, or tells him he doesn't want to use his powers. He hasn't outright attacked him, but he's getting there. This has been happening over the time it takes for Bruce to indirectly offer Danny sanctuary at his home.
It all comes to a head when Vlad stops going to parties at all -- something Danny has to pretend he isn't upset about -- because Vlad doesn't want him around other people anymore. Vlad rarely goes now without him, and only leaves to go to a Wayne function or to handle something at VladCo.
Danny can't wait for Vlad to leave long enough to escape. So he leaves during the night of a big storm. Vlad's locked him in his room, but Danny doesn't bother trying to go for it; he goes to the alarmed window instead. Danny's been repressing his ghost half so long that he can't access his powers immediately anymore -- he can feel it, he knows its there, but he can't quite reach it.
He breaks the lock by hand.
Immediately the alarm goes off through the entire castle, filling the room with red, and he scrambles for the rope the Wisconsin Ghost left for him a few months back. Danny's already out and climbing down the side of the castle before Vlad even reaches his door -- the only good thing about the entire room being ghost-proof is that Vlad can't get in that way.
The rope ends before it reaches the bottom, and he's still twenty feet in the air. It won't kill him if he lands it right. Danny takes his chances, and drops. He breaks his ankle, but he survives.
And he fucking books it to the back garden. He hears Vlad shrieking over the thunder and rain.
I'll save the full experience for a future oneshot, but Danny makes it out into the nearby woods and forcibly experiences what it's like to be in a horror game, trying to hide from the thing that's hunting you. There's only one thing going through his mind; "i'm going to die"
I have this mental image for this scene. Very stereotypical horror imo. Where Danny is hiding behind a tree, with a hand over his mouth, and Vlad is a few feet away from him, glowing ominously red through the trees, trying to search for him.
Danny doesn't get away from this unscathed, but he does get away alive. That's all he could ask for. He gets away by getting his ghost half awakened long enough to transform into Phantom and fly to Gotham.
But he gets to Wayne Manor, he gets to Bruce. Or, at least, Alfred answers the door from his insistent pounding. Danny's just in tears and Alfred gets him in the living room, wrapped in a towel, with ice on his swollen leg before he has to step out and alert Bruce.
Bruce already breaks multiple traffic laws on a nightly basis. And that's just with the sheer existence of the batmobile itself, not including the speeding and military artillery attached. He breaks double the amount trying to speed back to the cave and get out of the suit.
Right off the bat: Bruce will know, at least before Dick enters the picture, about danny's powers. He'll figure out something considering the fact that Danny traveled from Wisconsin to New York in a single night. That'll be a bit of complicated affair, but I've already got something in mind.
Actually it'll probably be very soon after Danny joins the family, because Bruce tries to offer to fight for custody for Danny - the state Danny was in at arrival is clear enough evidence for a trial. But Danny immediately shuts it down, says it's not going to work and then Vlad will know Danny's with him and he won't be safe. He tells him that Vlad cannot know Danny was with Bruce.
Danny's biggest regret was not telling his parents he was a halfa, and while he doesn't want to tell mister wayne (yet), he does tell him about Vlad being one. He needs to know why Danny can't be seen with Bruce. So he tells him, and Danny's current plan is to just hide out from Vlad until he turns 18. That way, he has no more legal jurisdiction over him. After that? He's not sure.
And to wrap this up, since this has already gotten very long and I can make more posts about this au later; I've thought about it, and I'm going to say that Danny does become a vigilante before Dick enters the scene. He goes by, as you probably guessed; Nightingale. "Gale" for short.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#tales of the passerine au#i dont want to overemphasize how much vlad sucks but also i dont want to downplay it. but also i didn't wanna make this post too long#i didn't emphasize enough on vlad's possessiveness but i wanted to make this post as general enough as possible for the au.#for some more wiggle room in the future if i make more posts about this au.#the consequences for Danny repressing himself was not a concern i was focused on for the post but i am thinking about it and mulling it ove#i'll be blunt my main specific reason for why this occurs shortly after tue is bc it means dani doesn't exist yet and it means i dont have#to include her in the continuation of this au. i love that girl but she's a dead weight. i dont wanna come up with an elaborate reason as#to why she's not in the picture when i can just say 'she never created in the first place' instead. i don't have anything for her to do#I don't want to risk giving her a poor plot line just so that she exists in au.#sometimes i really hate just how long my posts get. i feel like it kills my engagement. but i also don't want to make posts that have#a part 1 and part 2 just because I think it got too long.#i feel kinda bad for having Danny take the spot of 'first partner' from Dick. But that was part of the reason i was inspired to make this a#i've already got the skeleton of a reasoning for danny becoming a vigilante being made in my head.#He can't go by Phantom since that risks drawing Vlad's attention -- a new vigilante showing up in Gotham. a place the visited frequently#who goes by the name Phantom? He'd be on that faster than chickens on meat. and nightingale has familial meaning behind it due to being#part of an ancestral name. it follows robin's theme of using it to honor his parents while still having its own unique enough lore to stand#on its own without feeling like a cheap copy. plus the bonus meta reason that it follows the bird theme. which personally is vital to me#my other alternative to Nightingale is Sparrow. mostly because it has good phonetic structure for a hero name. not too many syllables#a good balance of consonants and vowels. dont want a hero name with too many syllables or unbalanced consonants. or worse; both.#my reasonings is that hero names should be easy for a civ or teammate to yell while still being understood. max amount of syllables before#it threatens to become too wordy is 3. If it goes over 3 it should have a balanced consonant-vowel ratio. Wonder Woman is a good example#some things got cut here that were in the initial oneshot. like danny giving bruce his physical ghost core and showing up bloody.#the first son au
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zappedbyzabka · 10 months
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🖤💀🖤💀
#Okay I see youuuu#With your cute skeleton heart shirt and tiny shorts#Who dressed him. the hat was an odd choice but everything else? just picture me as a sleazy sailor#The bracelettttt#No bc I’m just as bad about his wrists as Kreese and Terry. pin them to a bed.#And his name is Kim. KIM#That’s so good for me you don’t get it#​Kimmy gets his ass pounded by a crew mate or dock worker every single night no doubt (pretending most of them ARENT his siblings)#You don’t have to explain the white stains on your crop top and in your hair when you fucked in the water. cleans it off#Mo was clearly his main meat.#Kim fisher#william zabka#Ok sweet little kimmy over here (no relation) is getting given to THREE adjacent characters#N 1: Max Perish (Hollow Point)#(omfg. Tig did play a damn pirate slslskskksksks. Captain Jeffery)#N2: Wolf Larsen (WAIT. Greg Larsen and Wolf Larsen? amazing) because why wouldn’t I give this soft boy to him…#N3: Bianchi (that weird Hamlet movie Ralph was a side character in) because he was kind of creepy#and a dick. clearly he needed his balls drained into a blond to make him just shut the fuck up#I love cheesy ass 80’s and early 2000’s movies with hot daddies—who said that🤨 wasnt meeee. No but geez some of these are so cheesy#I could put them on nachos. Oh wait. Eugene in Crossroads can have Kimmy too. Long as the hat comes off during sex#Play him a little song on his guitar and see how Kimmy thanks him—play that guitar at him boy#nsft#There’s too many options.
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wildtreevampire · 8 months
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just read batman: city of madness twice and so far i have two major notes:
firstly, maybe one of my favorite comic art styles. like christian ward you have outdone yourself.
secondly, uh...
hello quick question but WHY DID THE COURT OF OWLS HAVE CTHULU BATMAN IN THEIR BASEMENT??????
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HELLO??????
(also if someone could provide alt text for the comic page that would be fabulous, because I'm very tired and not at all sure how to begin describing this)
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obsessivevoidkitten · 9 months
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Between A Rock And A Hard Place
Male Yandere Human-like Golem x Gender Neutral Human Reader (CW: Noncon, huge dick, golem man, magic, fatal violence towards bandits, spit used as lube, general yandere behavior) Word Count: 1.8k (Sorry this took forever, was originally going to be a drabble and then kinda got away from me, hope you all enjoy huge dick golem man.)
The small town that you lived in, Somnheim, had been victim to a swathe of horrible luck. Raided by bandits, packs of beasts killing livestock, and enemy soldiers scavenging what they could. Finally the town had enough and sent for a practitioner of the magic arts to aid them in the defense of their village.
This was you.
They didn’t have much but they offered a home and food for your services. You figured you could help them and have a quiet place to conduct your research away from the prying eyes of the council, who liked to hold newer mages under their thumb. It would also just be something nice you could do for your fellow humans, and these folks clearly needed the help.
You didn’t want to stay in this place forever though, so your solution would have to be one that would last long after you were gone.
Given your expertise in summoning and animating the logical choice was a good, old fashioned, golem. A pentagram, some select incense, clay flesh molded to a slate skeleton and imbued with an amethyst heart carrying an artificial soul, some runes carved in, and a scroll inserted that would have him follow his purpose and give him personality.
Then just add in a spell that turned the humanoid clay man into something more human so as not to frighten the villagers too badly and make him able to experience a near human existence.
The ritual was a complete success. Of course it was. You were you after all, young but talented and more importantly utterly dedicated to your craft.
Somnheim now had a mighty protector. An artificial man over 9 feet tall, with huge bulging muscles, shaggy brown hair, stoic brown eyes that gave nothing away, and glowing green runes on his arms and legs. The spell that made him human-like was more than just visual, it gave him nearly all the functions of a human male, he’d be as durable and strong as the hardest metal, never age, and of course he was certainly infertile.
Not one for creative names, you named him Slate.
Eventually bandits came by and decided they would stock up in Somnheim before going on to bigger and better loot.
They did not live to regret that decision.
Slate simply rolled a massive boulder down the hill they approached from and flattened all but a couple. Those he took care of quickly with magically precise throws of average sized stones.
Over the months any threat he couldn’t flatten with a boulder or smack with a stone he would pop open with his mighty fists.
By the end of his first year as the village’s guardian he was beloved by every single townsperson. Even the tiny children, who would climb on him and put flowers in his shaggy hair as he smiled and watched, had no fear of him.
You had enjoyed your time there, but eventually it was time for a change of scenery. You wanted to do more field research and you had saved enough money up with side projects to be able to fund a trip to the other side of the country near The Great Forest.
The villagers were grateful and sad to see you go, but they were much more interested in Slate than you.
But when you packed your bags to leave behind your wattle and daub dwelling once and for all you found yourself blocked by Slate.
He uttered one word in that deep, almost monotone, voice of his.
“No.”
“What do you mean no? I have to leave.” You tried to squeeze past him but he was not having it.
“I must protect the village… Your presence here makes the village safer… I might need repairs… or reinforcements… And you also tasked me with keeping you safe…”
You fudged the wording. You, breather of life into stone, weaver of clay, and creator of souls, messed up the wording.
He picked you up like a box of luggage and sat you on a chair in your makeshift study before going over to the heaviest bookshelf, picking it up, and placing it in front of the only door so you couldn’t escape.
“I’ll move it when I need to leave… then I will put a rock outside to keep you here…”
And that became your life. A literal prisoner in your own home.
Your magical abilities were useless in this situation, you were not a battlemage that could explode a wall, you couldn’t teleport, you bent earth.
Of course you tried to tunnel your way out by making a hole under your bed, but Slate had walked in and caught you red handed. He had confiscated and locked away all your magical supplies and texts unless you needed them to repair him you were not getting them back.
Slate was tentative enough of your physical needs, bringing you food and water and taking you outside like some sort of pet for sunlight, fresh air, and exercise. You had tried to run away but of course he had inhuman speed. And the villagers refused to help. What if Slate refused to save them if they did that?
It was a fair concern, he was made to protect the village and not villagers, he may even see them as a threat if they assisted you. You were on your own.
Though you were healthy enough physically your mental condition was deteriorating rapidly. How could you not be? Being trapped in the same building, even with trips outside, was awful. The villagers only looked at you with pity if they looked at you at all, and no one would even talk to you anymore.
It got to the point where you barely eat, refused to go outside, and spent all your time laying in bed.
Slate was failing the magical directives that governed his personality and behavior. You were clearly not safe, he was convinced that you would die if this continued, and honestly you likely would… eventually���
But the golem was not incapable of learning. He observed the other humans to find out what he could add to your life to bring you back to your usual self.
One night, when he was sitting in front of the house watching the humans passing by and holding hands, he came to the conclusion that humans had families, they lived together in their dwellings and they loved each other. They coupled together and mated.
Up until this point Slate had only been directed by simple emotion and the unyielding parchment that had imbued him with his goals. But now his task demanded something more of him, it demanded a much more complex emotion. The magic in him allowed this evolution, and now he was much more dangerous because he loved you. But it wasn’t just love he felt for the first time, it was lust.
Slate’s expression became one of someone thinking about the one who they adored infinitely, an expression of a man thinking about the person he wanted to have writhing in pleasure beneath him, even his normally green runes and brown eyes took on an amorous pink glow.
When you heard the boulder blocking the door shift and then heard the bookshelf take its place as what was blocking your way out as Slate came lumbering in with his heavy steps you didn’t even glance up.
Not until he stood in front of you and you noticed his strange pink glow replacing his green one did you stir.
You sat up in bed and when you saw the strange way his normally near emotionless eyes were staring at you, and glowing, you scooted away.
“I know what you need now! I am so sorry for not realizing sooner…” He said in a surprisingly soothing tone, a stark departure from his normally deep monotone.
“What do yo-”
Your words were forgotten as he took off his shirt and pants revealing a sweaty body and a frighteningly large cock.
“You need a partner to be happy, like the other humans, and you need to mate!”
He sounded very eager.
“No! Uh… I don’t need to… mate. I need to lea-” he put a large finger over your lips and shushed you before gripping your pants and peeling them and your underwear away from you carefully.
There was no dissuading him from his chosen course of action, he would make you happy and keep you safe no matter what!
It’s what you needed.
Slate leaned forward and spit all over your hole, thoroughly lubing it with his spit, before pressing his big cock into your hole.
It was so large that you let out a whimper of pain at first, but he was somehow knowledgeable enough about sex to know he needed to let you adjust to the size rather than just ramming himself in.
You gasped and writhed but he held you still with his massive hands running up and down your sides as he slowly pulled you down on his prick.
Slate was in complete heaven, he had never really known much pleasure of any kind, let alone the type that came with burying his cock in someone he was now completely obsessed with.
He had no idea his dick could be used for this at all, but now that he did he would certainly be doing this everyday, maybe even a couple times a day! The perfect blend of heat and softness was amazing.
As he began to thrust slowly, with a blissed out expression as he stared up at nothing with drool coming out of his mouth, you couldn’t help but moan in pleasure as his cock caressed your depths perfectly.
Hearing your breathy moans snapped him back to reality. You were finally happy again~
The treatment was working! That settled it, he would do this every single day no matter what!
Carefully gripping your sides a bit more firmly he moved your entire body back and forth on his cock. You couldn’t help it, your whole body twitched with the force of a massive orgasm. The sensation of your body spasming around his previously virgin dick caused him to slam in deep and cum hard.
He pulled you close, holding your head into his muscular chest as he panted, his dick still firmly impaling your limp body. You hadn’t been eating much and this serious fucking had taken a lot out of you.
Slate cleaned the two of you up, bathing you gently before taking advantage of your compliant state by spoon feeding you some dinner he had brought from a town person.
Mating with you made you so pleasured and too tired to resist him when he took care of you, he almost couldn’t wait until you had enough energy to do it again, his cock strained in his pants with anticipation.
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satoruly · 7 months
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𝘿𝙍𝙀𝙎𝙎 𝙃𝙄𝙈 𝙐𝙋 .ᐟ.ᐟ
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costumes that the jjk men would wear for halloween
includes. toji fushiguro, satoru gojo, suguru geto, kento nanami
tags/warnings. fluff, no curse!au, i like to think gojo's is a college au too, suggestive, mentions of oral in toji's, gojo is called a slut (jokingly), fake blood.
a/n. i love satoru i swear and suguru's is so cheesy idk if i cringe or not idc i think he's lovely. mdni banner by @/cafekitsune
got a request? click here !!
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𝘀𝗶𝗺𝗼𝗻 '𝗴𝗵𝗼𝘀𝘁' 𝗿𝗶𝗹𝗲𝘆 ₊˚⊹ 𝘁. 𝗳𝘂𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗴𝘂𝗿𝗼
“I look ridiculous.”
“I bet you don’t,” you spoke from where you sat on the bed, legs crisscrossed as you waited for your boyfriend to come out from the bathroom “Just show me”
He had taken longer than you thought to get ready, longer than you had, but in retrospect, you guess you should’ve seen it coming with the amount of belts you had handed to him and no instructions to work with, you guess it was really on you. 
“This was a mistake.” He mumbled through pursed lips once he came out, looking off to the side, his slightly overgrown hair obscuring his eyes. Without the vest and belt, it was practically an everyday outfit for him, a navy blue hoodie with a pair of blue cargo pants. The latter did differ from his day-to-day wear but it was okay, he was gonna wear his New Balance sneakers once you were ready to leave so it cancelled out. 
“I want to suck your dick so bad right now.” 
“I look like a glorified back-pack”
“Where did you learn the word glorified?” You joked, though only half-heartily because you were too busy staring at your boyfriend’s thighs concealed by not only way too tight pants but by very tight garters. You wished he would keep them on the daily. Luckily though, your primitive brain had no completely taken over and so you were able to process his lack of response to your off-handed blow job proposition.
“Im wearing kneepads like a fucking loser.” He raised his knee to emphasize his point, letting his foot rest on the ottoman at the end of the bed and practically throwing the skeleton mask you hadn’t noticed he had been holding on top of the covers. 
You stood up, gave him a once look over and walked towards him cupping his face with your palms. One of your thumbs rubbed the skin of his cheek now coated by a very subtle pink, one you’d only be able to notice if you squinted. 
“You don’t look like a loser, personally I think you look very very hot,” you assured him, “but if you really don’t like it you don’t have to wear it, we can find something else for Satoru’s party.”
He huffed, unconsciously leaning against the warmth of your palms, eyebrows still twisted into a frown. “It’s not that, just— you’d really suck me off dressed like this?”
You hummed, giving him a light peck on the lips before trailing your hands down his chest, ignoring the plate carrier that bulked him up more than he already was. 
“Like now?” You could hear the smirk in his voice, the usual sultriness it carried back where it was meant to be.
“Depends,” you pondered, biting back a smile at the suggestiveness. “How long ‘till we have to leave?”
He cursed at the number of pockets he had to go through before finding his phone stashed on the back of his pants, eagerly examining the time and then showing the lit-up screen to you. “Like 30 minutes.”
“Then sure,” you looked up at him, not breaking eye contact as you undid his utility belt, letting it fall to the floor before slowly working to unzip his pants. “I’ll be quick."
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𝗻𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 ₊˚⊹ 𝘀. 𝗴𝗼𝗷𝗼
“I was gonna buy the tights but the imprint of my d—”
“Okay! We are changing the subject…” You almost slapped your palm over your boyfriend’s mouth before he could continue. Successfully [stopping] Shoko and Utahime from hearing the not-so-safe-for-work details of your costume shopping trip.
Looking back, it was kind of funny. Satoru wasn’t all that fond of superheroes but one singular video of a hot guy on his fyp was more than enough to convince him he was willing to commit to the transformation. In reality, you’re sure he just wanted to wear the tights. That's why he almost cried when all the ones at the costume shop turned out too small to cover his ankles.
He had tried his best to make it work but to no avail and had settled instead for a black pair of cargo pants, and though they weren’t the classic Nightwing tights he had envisioned, you swore they were so much better.
“It’s nice,” Shoko pointed out, taking a drag of her cigarette, directly juxtaposing her surgeon costume. The scrubs and lab coat she wore were likely taken from the faculty of medicine last minute. “Thought you’d use Halloween as an excuse to dress up sluttier though.”
His offended gasp almost made you burst out laughing, the hand you had used to shut him up still muffling his dramatics.
“Oh, he’s a slut alright.” You joked, now resting your hand on his chest and taking a sip of your drink to hide your smile as your boyfriend decided to run with your joke.
“Yeah exactly,” he chuckled, leaning against your head and smushing his cheek in the process and circling one of his arms around your waist. He couldn’t spend a single moment not touching you, and though you played tough, you couldn’t help but lean against his touch every single time. “It’s the energy.”
And it sure was. Even if his current costume was way more tame than the bunny boy one he had chosen last year, he was still giving ‘slut’.
Although you were quick to shut down his previous comment, you’d be lying if you said the mildly accurate costume didn’t do things to you. For one, props to him for making progress at the gym. The loose material stretched out over his thighs every time he made the slightest flexing motion. Sitting, standing, going up the stairs, no matter what he did was a sight for sore eyes. Then, you had the compression long-sleeved he wore. Though it technically was a “costume” and not a compression shirt, it still hugged his arms and chest so deliciously you swore you could moan. 
And of course, how could you forget about his ass. 
“And what are you supposed to be?” Utahime asked, looking at your pleated pants, loose light blue shirt with most of the top buttons undone, and a pair of sunglasses.
“A slut.” You shrugged, enjoying their confusion until it finally clicked.
“You’re dressed as him!”
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𝗵𝗼𝘄𝗹 𝗽𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗼𝗻 ₊˚⊹ 𝘀. 𝗴𝗲𝘁𝗼
“Nope, we need another one.” 
Suguru groaned in dismay, so close to banging his head against the door frame as you rejected yet another costume you had suggested, or more so, insisted he should wear. At this point of the day, he was sure his skin was sore from the constant friction of multiple garments’ fabrics. 
“Why? I think this one’s good.”
You tilted your head, looking him up and down before pursing your lips. You won't deny he looked good. He always looked good. But, “We’re going to a costume party.”
“So? This is a costume.” 
“Yeah but…” You trailed off, wondering if he’d take personal offense for the comment you were about to make regarding his fashion sense. “It kinda just looks like you.”
Now it was time for him to tilt his head in confusion, squinting at you as if to prompt you to elaborate and you sighed before continuing, “Besides the boots, actually, no, you do use those, it's pretty much a normal outfit for you.”
He looked down at himself, eyes meticulously scanning every inch of his body to then look up at you. “I’ve never worn a poet shirt before.”
“But the vibe,” you pointed at him up and down with your hand, “is there.”
“What vibe? Suguru Geto from the 19th century?”
“Ish? Yeah.” You agreed, standing in front of him to fix the collar of his shirt. “You look like you belong in a romanticism painting minus the high-waisted pants, which fyi make your ass look great.”
He chuckled, turning around to stand in front of the full-body mirror next to your vanity to check himself out, subtly taking a peak at his ass. It did look really good in those pants.
“Let me try the necklace and you can decide.” He grabbed the thin chain and gave it to you for help. Holding his hair up, he couldn’t yet again chuckle at the reflection as you tried to stand up on your tip toes to hook the clasp around his neck. 
It added some depth, he thought. The white shirt and black pants combo was something he would wear. The added jewellery made it look a little less like him, but the matching earrings were still missing.
“—and I know what you’re thinking, so I got these.” 
You stretched your palm in front of him, a pair of new gauges resting on it. Unlike his, they weren’t black, more so a pale golden color. 
“They match the color of the necklace and if you want to wear the earrings you can loop them through there.” You pointed out, and upon closer inspection, once he held them in his hands, he could see there was a little hole at the bottom of them. “But you can also not wear them if you don’t wanna, thought it'd be a nice detail.”
“I thought you weren’t sure about the costume,” he kissed the top of your head, mumbling ‘thank you’, and carefully slipped off the ones he was wearing. The way you beamed as he started doing so didn’t you escape him, and it made him all the more eager to try them on even if they felt cold against his skin and were out of his comfort zone. He had never really been a fan of gold on himself.
“Eh, I might’ve been more committed than I let on.” You hugged his waist, looking at him through the mirror as he grabbed Howl’s dangly earrings. He looked pretty. “What do you think? Looks good?”
He hummed, shaking his head slightly and chuckling at the earrings swishing against his skin. He wasn’t used to wearing those, it felt funny. “It’s still missing something though.”
“What’s missing?” You asked as he moved fully in front of you. He pressed his thumb in the middle of your furrowed brows before kissing your forehead and then giving you a quick pick on the lips.
“The matching promise rings.”
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𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗰𝗸 𝗯𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗺𝗮𝗻 ₊˚⊹ 𝗸. 𝗻𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗺𝗶
“You’ve always wanted to murder your coworkers, now you can pretend you have!”
“I’m never wearing this outfit again.”
“See! You can even make the references, it’s perfect.”
But you had to give it to him, it would be much more of a costume if he wasn’t wearing a suit that closely resembled what he used to wear for work. A fitted black suit, a crisp, freshly ironed shirt and a red tie, everything covered up by a transparent raincoat. And to be fair, the plastic did make a funny noise whenever he walked. 
The only missing piece of the costume was the blood, which led you to where you were, standing over old newspapers in case you stained the kitchen floor. 
“You’re enjoying this way too much.” He shook his head as you walked around him with a bottle of fake blood, excitedly pouring the runny liquid into strategic places for it to look organic like he had actually killed someone. He wasn’t a Halloween nor a dress-up fanatic per se, but the promise of a good costume party had set you off into a never-ending search for the perfect costume until you had finally settled on one. The perfect one.
You nodded at his words, carefully creating a couple of splotches with a paintbrush before you could finally admire your masterpiece. “Now the only thing we are missing is your face?”
“Pardon?”
“We gotta put some blood on your face.” You said sitting up on the counter, careful not to knock down the FX makeup kit you had gotten. Making space between your legs, you pulled him from his belt loops towards you, and automatically, his hands positioned themselves right on top of your hips. Without you needing to tell him, he leaned closer to you, lowering his height just enough for you to reach his face properly.
“That was not part of our deal.” Yet, he stayed as still as possible as you used a smaller dropper to carefully apply the liquid to his temple close to his hairline. 
“Close your eyes.” He did as you said, and you proceeded to imitate the splotches without staining his whole face, just his forehead and cheeks. Some of it dripped down his eyebrow and towards his eye, but you caught it fast enough for it to not stain his lashes. Hopefully, that’d be the only ‘liability’ you’d experience for the night, you really didn’t want his shirt to stain. “And we are done!”
You grabbed your phone and turned on your front camera for him to look at himself.
“What do you think?”
He stared at his reflection for a couple of seconds trying to figure out if he liked it or not. While he did so, he couldn’t help but subtly flicker from you back to him a couple of times, looking at your eyes creasing in excitement. The warm smile on your lips was contagious, the way you scrunched your nose when he kissed your forehead as if scared he’d get ‘blood’ on you too cute, and so he couldn’t help the gentler one that appeared on his. 
“I like it a lot.”
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© all works belong to satoruly
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Batfam x reader incorrect quotes:
Damian: And I’d love to be sorry for that, but we all know I’ve done much, much worse.
Bruce, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something. You: I saw a squirrel in a tree today! Bruce, with the tone of someone who is used to You: Outstanding. You: This is what I’m talking about people.
Tim: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you. You: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule. Tim: Absolutely not.
You: Do you have any skeletons in your closet? Damian: You mean literally or figuratively? You: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...
Damian: God, give me patience. Tim: I think you mean 'give me strength'. Damian: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.
You: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them. Jason: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.
You: What if the 'g' in 'gif' is silent? Damian: Go the fuck to sleep You: What gif I don't want to? Damian: Fuck You
Bruce: I actually have a black belt. You: In what, karate? Bruce: No, from Gucci.
You: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars. Damian: If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the damn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life.
You: That’s one of my biggest fears. Like, if I ever woke up as a donut... Dick: You would eat yourself? You: I wouldn’t even question it.
Tim: Do you think you’d actually notice if someone didn’t cast a shadow? Or if their limbs were just slightly too long? Or if they had just a little too many teeth? like how many times have you passed Something on the street and you just didn’t Notice It? You: Stay woke monsterfuckers ur love is out there!!!!! Tim: Yknow what? Not my point at all in any way whatsoever, but I’m glad I could be an inspiration.
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reyrapidsbutgayer · 6 months
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Ranking All Elden Ring Bosses by Fuckability
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It was only a matter of time until I made a post like this.
In this hypothetical all of the bosses can be reasonably communicated with and are not actively trying to kill you.
Repeat bosses not included, duo bosses counted seperate.
It should also be assumed that all of these bosses have access to their magic/items/resources to benefit them in bed.
Explanation of Grading system:
Ineligible: (Cannot give consent)
These characters are not sentient enough to communicate consent, or are physically incapable of sex.
Unfuckable: (Can give consent, but does not DESERVE sex)
Character sucks so badly that they do not deserve to experience pleasure in any shape or form.
Uninterested: (Can give consent, does not WANT sex)
These character are fully capable of sex but would never participate in sex due to lack of interest or overabundance of moral convictions.
Not worth it: (Can give consent, is terrible in bed)
I mean, you COULD have sex with these characters but why would you?
Acceptable: (Can give consent, would be fine in bed)
These characters are average in bed, nothing crazy or noticeable. Some might end up in this category because they ARE good at sex, but the entire process would be inconvenient or uncomfortable to initiate.
Good Time: (Can give consent, would be great in bed)
These characters are good at sex, give or take a few points depending on their mood or situation.
Knock your socks off: (Can give consent, would be amazing in bed)
These characters excel in giving pleasure and would be well worth the time and effort involved.
Sex God: (Can give consent, would be the best in bed)
These characters would be so good at sex that all other factors are irrelevant. They are serving and we are here for it.
Evil Sex God: (Can give consent, is a terrible person but you’d make an exception.)
These are characters that should fall lower in the rankings, but their sexual prowess supersedes their inherent awfulness to a noteworthy degree.
Full list below the read more. Obviously it's not going to be sfw.
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Ineligible: (Cannot give consent)
Dragonkin Soldier:
Mindless beast
Astel, Naturalborn of the Void
Weird rock alien, doesn't/can't understand.
Fia's Champions:
Ghosts, simps.
Regal Ancestor Spirit
Animal
Erdtree Avatar
A plant
Great Wyrm Theodorix
Mindless beast.
Ulcerated Tree Spirit
A plant, no junk
Tibia Mariner:
Skeleton
Red Wolf of the Champion:
Animal.
Full-Grown Fallingstar Beast
Weird rock alien, doesn't/can't understand.
Abductor Virgin
First off, just some snakes in a robot. Second, virgin.
Erdtree Burial Watchdog
Stone gargoyle
Crystalians
Non-organic
Mad Pumpkin Heads
Unable to consent due to madness.
Cemetery Shade
Unable to consent due to mind controlling parasite.
Spirit-Caller Snail
Animal
Runebear
Animal
Miranda the Blighted Bloom
A plant
Guardian Golem
Stone gargoyle
Starscourge Radahn:
Unable to consent due to madness
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Unfuckable: (Can give consent, but does not DESERVE sex)
Elden Beast:
Too catholic.
Sir Gideon Ofnir, the All-Knowing:
Dick game weak - unironically posts joker memes.
Omenkiller:
Basically a cop.
Necromancer Garris:
Killed his family, not a good husband.
Royal Revenant:
Won't stop screaming (in an unsexy way)
Godrick the Grafted:
Incel - Also all that murder and torture business but mostly the Incel stuff.
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Uninterested: (Can give consent, does not WANT sex)
Valiant Gargoyle:
Could probably have sex if it wanted to, but is kinda going through a lot right now. Ya know, that whole "Is made of several corpses mashed together" thing.
Malenia, Blade of Miquella:
Look, I ALSO wanted her to higher up on this list, but let's be honest here. Her body is rotting and falling apart, she just isn't up for sex in her current form. In her prime? She'd be top of the list. She's the daughter of Marika and Radagon, she'd be playing fuck/marry/kill with every warrior who crossed her path. (in that order)
Death Rite Bird:
I think it might be physically capable of sex, but is too busy burning corpses to bother with stuff like that.
Black Blade Kindred:
Same reason as the Valiant Gargoyle but you might have like 2% more of a chance because they are goth.
Maliketh, the Black Blade:
Would normally be a sex god, but is too religious. Probably took a vow about this sort of thing.
Morgott, the Omen King:
You kidding me? This guy has the same energy as a repressed youth pastor. He's gonna be a virgin till the day he dies. The dude sided with the same religious order that locked him a sewer and tried to kill him. He's not out there getting phone numbers he's too busy praying and judging others for their 'impure thoughts'.
Draconic Tree Sentinel:
Married to his job, also physically chained to his horse. He ain't taking off that armor anytime soon.
Wormface:
Too sad, leave him alone his face is full of worms.
Tree Sentinel:
Same as the Draconic Tree Sentinel but he's a tiny bit more naive so you might have a better chance.
Elder Dragon Greyoll:
Too sleepy, but still kinda a milf.
Grafted Scion:
There might be some genitals in there somewhere but I don't think they know how or even want to use them.
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Not worth it: (Can give consent, is terrible in bed)
Esgar, Priest of Blood:
No sense of hygiene, is always covered in blood (in an unsexy way)
Mohg, Lord of Blood:
This loser is dripping with all the least sexy bodily fluids and he has sharp horns sticking out of him. Even if you got him in bed you'd only enjoy like 5% of it. Plus you just know he'd be all needy afterwards and try to get you to join his MLM.
Borealis the Freezing Fog:
Too cold, not a snuggler.
Elemer of the Briar:
The armor stays ON during sex.
Kindred of Rot:
It's like all the worst possible aspects of alien biology, it won't be nearly as fun as you hoped.
Sanguine Noble:
Same as all the other Mohg followers, too sticky and too smelly.
Decaying Ekzykes:
He's sick right now, leave him alone.
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Acceptable: (Can give consent, would be fine in bed)
Loretta, Knight of the Haligtree:
I'm sure she'd be a decent lover. Maybe a little overzealous but she'd has good intentions.
Grave Warden Duelist:
I mean these guys are hot and probably fuck like a truck but they are not the most caring lovers, also they are covered in live snakes so there is that.
Night's Cavalry:
If you like goth knights I'm sure they'd be fine.
Onyx Lord:
Their skin probably feels like stone, but I bet they can pull off all sorts of freaky zero-g sex stuff if you ask them.
Alabaster Lord:
Same as the Onyx Lord but slightly more goth.
Fell Twins:
Once you get past the horns and stuff I bet the Omens are actually pretty good in bed, just watch out.
Demi-Human Queens:
I feel like all Demi-humans are pretty good lovers but their biology probably has some unexpected drawbacks.
Stonedigger Troll:
If you can get past the texture and the size I bet they could be decent in bed.
Flying Dragon Greyll:
A surprisingly unsexy dragon, but a dragon is a dragon and still worth at least a one night stand.
Glintstone Dragon Adula:
A dragon willing to kill racist magic users, earns them a few extra points.
Beastman of Farum Azula:
On one hand the Beastmen probably have crazy mating skills, but they are also zombies, which detracts some points for all the decay.
Battlemage Hugues:
Contrary to popular belief, Wizards are not very good at sex. They spend all their time studying instead of partying, at least Hugues is willing to get his hands dirty.
Commander O'Neil:
Seems like a decent guy, but probably won't shut up about his time in the military. Also he is infected with scarlet rot so that might be a mood killer.
Bloodhound Knight Darriwil:
The bloodhound knights are probably pretty wild in bed if you can earn their loyalty, but good luck with that.
Adan, Thief of Fire:
The dude committed heresy, that has to earn him some sexy points.
Soldier of Godrick:
He's a good boy, he's doing his job so throw him a bone.
Flying Dragon Agheel:
One of the first dragons you encounter, so he earns some points for style.
Demi-Human Chief:
Same as the queens, but probably a bit rougher in bed.
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Good Time: (Can give consent, would be great in bed)
Lichdragon Fortissax:
A much sexier dragon, you know they were hooking up with Godwin. Only loses some points for all the death rot.
Crucible Knight Siluria:
A bit gloomy, but I bet the crucible knights can do all sorts of freaky stuff with their animal body parts.
Mimic Tear:
A slippery liquid shapeshifter, need I say more?
Commander Niall:
A way better guy than O'Niel, plus he just a bit more daddy energy.
Fire Giant:
Once you get past his size, his sadness and the giant fell god of destruction in his chest, I bet he's got something going on.
Ancient Hero of Zamor:
Gives me Hercules/Amazonian vibes, I could be into it.
Cleanrot Knight:
Lesbian activities detected.
Crucible Knight:
These guys have tails, horns, wings and big old throat sacks. Imagine the possibilities.
Glintstone Dragon Smarag:
Has a sword. If you hear "Dragon holding a sword" and your pants aren't already off, we can't be friends.
Bols, Carian Knight:
He seems like a good boy.
Scaly Misbegotten:
I feel like the Misbegotten have some really interesting possibilities with their animal biology. I bet they have bonobo type societies and that could be fun.
Leonine Misbegotten:
Same as the other Misbegotten.
Misbegotten Warrior:
Same as the other Misbegotten.
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Knock your socks off: (Can give consent, would be amazing in bed)
Crucible Knight Ordovis:
Has all the desirable traits of a Crucible Knight but I also imagine they are super into threesomes.
Perfumer Tricia:
She seems really nice, and would be a super attentive lover. Plus she probably has access to crazy drugs and could hook you up.
Nox Swordstress & Nox Priest:
You just know that the Nox were getting up to crazy hot and crazy unethical experiments in their underground cities. These two probably get up to some wild shit and they are inviting you to join them.
Rennala, Queen of the Full Moon:
As she is now, I bet she'd be too sad to really be in a relationship again. But she kept up with Radagon and you just know she has some tricks up her sleeves that could make you abandon the golden order.
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Sex God: (Can give consent, would be the best in bed)
Dragonlord Placidusax:
Has two male heads and three female heads, imagine...
Ancient Dragon Lansseax:
Formed a whole freaky dragon/human cult and you just know they got into some eyes-wide-shut orgies behind those doors.
Godfrey, First Elden Lord (Hoarah Loux):
We all knew he'd be this high on the list. He was just a normal dude but he managed to keep pace with Queen Marika (Who is basically a goddess of fertility) for a good long while. He will fold you in half (on the battlefield and in the bedroom.)
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Evil Sex God: (Can give consent, is a terrible person but you’d make an exception.)
Radagon of the Golden Order:
He sucks in all the worst ways, but I mean... You can't NOT. Both Radagon and Marika are the embodiment of evil but they managed to suck and fuck their way across an entire continent for generations. You HAVE to give a try at least once.
Godskin Duo:
Oh my god will it be awful with all those flayed human skins, but you know you are still gonna have to. They can stretch and do all sorts of freaky stuff with their bodies, plus they kill gods and nothing is sexier than heresy.
Vyke, Knight of the Roundtable:
The dude is a mad killer but... he can still probably get it, might as well give it a try.
God-Devouring Serpent / Rykard, Lord of Blasphemy:
Personally I wouldn't, he's a loser and will probably kill you. But he is also a giant snake made up of squirming hands doing all sorts of sexual experiments, I can't blame you if you want to give it a taste.
Black Knife Assassin:
They committed a whole lot of treason but the power of armored lesbians is too hard to resist.
Patches:
If you are already having sex with from software characters, you gotta give Patches at least one attempt. When you wake up he'll have robbed you, but you knew what you were getting into.
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fandomwritingbit · 7 months
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💀Hallowe'en Special💀
After Hours,
Springtrap x fem reader
Synop: Sneaking into a horror attraction after dark was really fucking stupid and you're about to find out just how much. 
A/n: I totally get that this probably isn't everyone's cup of tea, so please be warned, also bare in mind writing for Springtrap is completely new for me.
Warnings: Springtrap/william afton. Explicit non-con/rape. Violence. Threat. Themes of kidnapping.
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Credit to image creator.
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It was everything you expected and more.
The building reeked of lack of care, practically falling apart with all its paint peeling and the half illuminated sign. It looks creepy as fuck. That's why you came. 
You love to be scared. And this place has the potential to be truly terrifying. 
You spoke to a friend of yours who told you they'd done exactly this a week or so ago. And it was soooo much better after hours, when you can go where you want to and do what you want to; which in your case is dick around with the animatronics. They were supposed to come along as well but flaked out last minute, leaving you standing in front of the place on your lonesome. But you’re not one to be defeated by a shit friend not showing, so you’re still going to go in.
And so, with your phone torch lighting your way you go to the back of the building. And unsurprisingly you're greeted with a high fence with its gate chained closed. That isn't going to stop you though. Smirking, you throw your backpack over the fence and then slide your phone under it, torch up so you can sort of see what you're doing. 
One foot wedges in the metal, the toe of your shoe just able to fit through the diamond-shaped gap enough to give you purchase, letting you slot your other foot in the gap a little higher up. It was easy really, almost like they wanted you to hop over it, no anti-climb or spikes or anything. At the top of the fence you sit for a moment, wishing you kept hold of your phone for a photo here, illuminated by the solitary light of the building sign. Oh well, there's always the opportunity on the way out. 
You jump down, careful to land with bended knees, if you hurt yourself you wouldn’t exactly be able to call an ambulance. From there you dust yourself off for a minute and grab all your stuff, wincing when the harsh light of your phone catches your eye. 
"And now the fun begins." You whisper to yourself, as you slip around the building, quickly laying your eyes on the back door, which according to your mate was easy pickings, quite literally. Shoving your makeshift kit into the lock, it only takes a few moments of jiggling in before, hey presto, the bitch clicks open. It really was too easy. 
Inside, you flash your torch around this hallway, thinking to yourself that it looks like a 'back-stage' area with all the clutter and, god, the dust, which now flitted through the air disturbed by your movement. Honestly, with the amount of it caked on everything you wouldn’t think that this place was operational. Box after box lay on the chequered tile floor and you follow them down the corridor, checking door handles along your way. 
One opens to reveal a small cupboard filled with toilet roll and cleaning supplies. Another to one with stacks of papers, documents of some kind, probably accounts or some shit, but seriously who keeps paper copies nowadays? But the third one was the most interesting one. 
The metal door was a labour to open, scraping into the floor over a mark from others doing the same thing, the room was dark but you can tell instantly that it’s much bigger than the previous two. You use your phone torch to scan through the pitch black, revealing the jackpot. Animatronic heads are mounted on the wall like the room belongs to some kind of a  game hunter. Pointing the light down, you see the rest of the beasts, huge chest cases and clumpy-looking feet littered along the floor And in the corner the skeletons, light bouncing off them back at you, their eyes reflecting red. 
“Ho-ly shit…” You say into the darkness, grinning from ear to ear. This place was fucking insane, in the absloute best way. You waste no time inserting yourself in the room, placing huge metal heads over your shoulders and snapping a few pics looking like some demonic purple rabbit. Then some more with your arm draped over these endo-skeleton things, these took you a bit longer to build the courage to touch because fuck, their eyes were staring right into the depths of your soul. But once you did touch them and they didn’t pounce on you, you felt reassured enough to tackle anything else this creepy attraction would throw at you. 
After about ten minutes in your photoshoot, you leave the room wanting to see more than the behind the scenes stuff, you may as well see all the bits the normies get to see. Looking online earlier you knew all about the set up, creepy 80s looking corridors designed to mirror an old pizzeria chain, where apparently some kids had gone missing. Patrons could even sit inside the faux-security office taking shifts trying not to jump out of their skins as robotic creatures stalked them. Now that, you’re dying to see. 
It takes you no time to find the corridors leading to the security office, on the way discovering the dormant animatronics. One a seven foot fucking teddy bear, another a beat up looking rabbit. Golden- or maybe green, it’s hard to tell in the absence of light. This one is particularly nerve-wracking, something about its stance, it’s head tilted to the side but its eyes looking up. 
“Fuuuuck,” you giggle, angling your head to look into the creature’s mouth, open only slightly. “the designers did a good job on you, shit…” It’s only when your face gets very close to it, the robot shifts, its metallic body struggling loudly in the otherwise silent building. You flinch hard, body shoving itself away from it, thudding against the wall hard enough to wind yourself. It quickly halts, the movement dying when its head fully rears. 
You breathe out shakily, laughing at your own stupidity, clearly you triggered some kind of motion sensor and paid the price for it. You shake your head at the beast, moving away from it down the corridor and into the office, careful not to get too close to anything else that could try to scare the shit out of you. You finally manage it, and step into the office through a doorway without the actual door part, an excited smile spreading across your face. This is so fucking cool, you think, crouching down to look at a monitor on the desk, then deciding to sit in the grimy swivel chair in front of it. You then notice that the desk has drawers in it and move to look through them, an eagerly curious part of you taking over. The top one is full of a tonne of random shit sellotape, paperclips, a computer mouse and its ancient cord. The one underneath though, sticks, you rive it hard to try and open it, even more intrigued that it wouldn’t open. You jiggle it hard, the rattle echoing in the large room, but your efforts amount to fuck all and it doesnt move an inch. 
You sigh, calling the drawer a bastard under your breath and recline a little in the seat, closing your eyes for a moment. When you open them you nearly jump six feet in the air at the sight of that fucking animatronic from earlier, the yellow bunny, standing in the the doorway, it’s huge head peeking round the corner, staring directly at you. How in god’s name didn’t you hear the fucking thing move? It must weigh loads and it looks old, so there’s no way it can move silently.
“God, this place.” you say, to yourself, to the room, it doesn’t matter. You’ve had enough scares for tonight, it’s probably best if you bail before you trigger any other attractions. No longer smiling, you stand up hesitantly, moving slowly and consciously. Some kind of dread now hanging in the air because this fucking rabbit is really creepy.
You walk up to the door and carefully squeeze yourself through the gap, desperate to not touch the thing. Managing it, you outwardly sigh, that was a small mercy because some loud noise from the robot would probably give you a heart attack right now. You step away from it, ready to get yourself out of here. But the second your back is turned the most agonising sound makes you freeze. 
Breathing. Raspy, pained, human, fucking breathing. 
Your turning around is prevented by the cold grip on your throat, backing you up against its metal body, its lack of body heat making goosebumps spring over you instantly. Uselessly, you push against its hold, instinctively wanting to get away from it and the reality of what was happening. But your struggling just makes it grip you harder, thick plastic fingers tight on the base of your throat. 
A deeply coarse sound vibrates from the creature, a breathy sound that takes you a while to realise is laughter. Laughter cold and mean, making your heart hammer in your chest. “What stupid little girl snoops around in the dark on her own?” Each word sounds painful, it must take the thing sheer will to push past such agony just to taunt you.
You tremble, “What- what are you?” the words so quietly terrified you can’t believe they’re your own. There’s no way this is part of the attraction. Just no way anyone would program this to grab patrons so violently. This was something all too wrong and all too real. 
Without warning or hesitation the creature uses your throat as leverage to slam you against the wall, there’s no room for protest or struggling, it’s power is inhumanly strong. You cry out when your body hits the concrete, its unfeeling coolness stark contrast to the fretful heat coming from you. The robot’s head cranes down above yours, a subtle clicking alerting you to every slight movement. You’re winded, energy trickling down your face as tears when you’re dawned to the terrifying conclusion that you’re trapped.
It finally answers you, the raspy voice coiling your stomach in fear. “Your worst fucking nightmare.” The creature must hear you sob in response because again it- he laughs, it’s cold and mocking. Only stopping when he takes the time to parrot your desperate fearful noises back at you, making himself laugh again. It’s becoming clear to you that this must be a person, someone inside this awful thing, an employee gone rogue, trying to scare the living daylights out of people stupid enough to break in… maybe. But that voice…
“You’re hurting me.” You choke out, unsure of what you’re trying to accomplish. Internally reasoning that people have empathy and people can be talked down, you hope that he’ll let you go but it seems more and more unlikely by the second. The hand on the back of your head flexes, tangling in your hair and yanking your head upwards so you can glimpse him out of the corner of your eyes and the sight is just awful. 
The inexpressive face comes close as the man inside hisses through the rabbit mask, “You don’t know the meaning of hurt.”  
“Look,” you whimper, “I’m sorry- I shouldn’t have come here.” The words are near incomprehensible through your tears. “God, I shouldn’t have come here…” You repeat, body convulsing under the monster’s grip. Your crying is loud in the corridor, echoing off the hard floors and mirroring the heartbreaking sound back at you. You're lost in it for a couple of seconds whilst this thing seems to just enjoy the sound, before the air is knocked from your lungs by the creature’s hand trailing down the arch of your back, all the way down to your behind where he grabs a hard handful of your flesh. It’s so unexpected that you just stare at what you can see of him over your shoulder, now silently shaking. The action turns your stomach, it doesn’t hurt but it’s rough and riddled with intent. 
His other hand moves, turning you around before again shoving you to the wall and caging you in with his massive frame, using that insane strength to push you down to your knees. “No,” He almost coos, “You shouldn’t have. But don’t worry… I won’t let you go to waste.” 
Whilst you're still making sense of the words, the monster grabs itself at the waist, huge fingers prying between the metal plates and rummaging until he frees his very human and very real penis. You don't want this and the disdain is evident in your eyes, but a dark part of you thinks that to please him will make him let you go. He holds himself before you, there's no illusion even with the suit that he's huge and the thought scares you.
The metallic hand in your hair pulls your head towards him and you obey, fear making you compliant. He smears himself against your lips, precum already leaking from his tip and laying warm on your face. He doesn't have to tell you to open your mouth, the rough tilting of your head is enough, and you hesitantly part your lips, flinching when he yanks you towards him. Your eyes involuntarily close when he shoves his cock in your mouth, he doesn't hold back, pushing himself as far in your throat as he can before you gag, your hands frenzied grabbing at the creature's hips. He pulls back for a moment before shoving back in repeatedly, forcing your jaw open to accept him each time. 
He grunts, burying himself inside your throat and holding you still. "You'll have to do better than that, if you're scared of me hurting you." The snarl in his voice makes your eyes wide with realisation of what he wants. You obey without question, hollowing your cheeks and sucking him as good as you can, his grip relenting enough to let you. Swirling your tongue on the underside of his shaft with only the goal of getting this over with as soon as possible. It’s like he knows and the huge hand in your hair slows your movement, forcing you to take him slow and deep, revelling in the feeling of your hot mouth and the frantic way your eyes dart around. 
The salty taste of his big cock stirs you, and each time he uses your mouth it makes your heat betray the pain of his brutal hold. It’s instinctual and even though your mind is against it your body is reacting. Trying to push the conflicting feelings from your mind you continue sucking, an eagerness spurring you on when he groans, he’s close, you can tell from the leniency in his grip. But just as you’re getting your hopes up that he’s going to finish, he pulls your lips from him, making you look up at the terrifying form above you. The sudden dread that sizzles through you is inexplicable, it’s almost as though you forgot how horrifying this costume was and the reminder shocks your core. 
You look so frightened kneeling there, your pupils tiny and your lips still parted, saliva dripping down your chin that underneath the mask he smirks cruelly, the action painful enough to make his cock twitch. With how warm and slick your mouth was, he can only imagine how tight your little cunt is going to be, fuck it’s been so long since he last broke a pretty thing like you. He’s going to savour it. 
“Stand up.” The monster commands, the raspy voice insanely harsh. You obey without question your legs trembling as all trace of hope leaves you, all chance of this ending any time soon trickled between your legs. As soon as you reach your feet his large hand grabs your shoulder shoving you forwards, back towards that old guard’s office you left only minutes ago, but it felt like years. Stumbling through the doorway, the brief idea of running flashes through your mind, but you’re too scared, you don’t want to make what this man was going to do worse. 
You don’t have the chance anyway, with crazy strength he catches your arm, forcing your body down onto the desk in front of you. A pathetic whimper leaves your lips at the rough action, your whole body still shaking. Once he has you where he wants you, the creature’s huge hands rake over your body, no gentleness or intimacy in his touch, just pure malicious lust. He gabs at your breasts, fingers digging harshly into the sensitive skin, then roughly pulling up the fabric of your shirt, so roughly the material tears. You’d be cold if not for the raging adrenaline in your veins. At the sight of your naked torso the mascot bears down on you, no emotion in its dead eyes, “Such a stupid girl, coming here, getting yourself in trouble. Is this what you wanted, huh?” To punctuate the question he takes hold of your face, squeezing your cheeks so that you let out a shaky gasp. 
You wrap your fingers around his wrist, pulling against the hold that was making your teeth hurt, but he doesn’t move an inch. At your silence he grabs your left tit pinching your nipple so hard your body raises from the desk to try and escape it. “Huh?” He snarls again. And you try to shake your head, but with no way to move you’re forced to speak. 
“No-o.” Your voice cracks, your answer making the creature above you grind his cock against your thigh, the godforsaken suit preventing him from touching himself, his own unique fucking torture. His mocking spurs a sudden surge of fight  and sees your legs rise and kick hard at his chest, the dull thud of striking metal echoing in the dark room. It’s useless, and his laughing is only proof. He holds your legs against his chest with one hand, using the other to tug down your legging and the panties you were wearing underneath, taking them completely from your body and discarding them on the dirty floor. 
Looking down at your wet cunt he near growls, such a slick little fucktoy that walked right into his grasp. Cold metallic fingers trace over your entrance, pulling your folds apart to see the trembling of your hole, your unwanted wetness coating his fingers. You hate yourself for being aroused but maybe it’s for the best, maybe it’ll make this more bearable. You quiver when his digit pokes inside you the costume fingers large enough to stretch you open when he sinks in, you groan the invasion pressing against a coil in your core. Seeing how your pussy swallowed his finger so well, tight around him when he fucked it in and out made him pull away, needing his hands to hold your thighs down as he rubbed the head of his dick against your entrance. Desperate to feel the grip of your walls on one of the only parts of him that remained intact. 
He shoves into you roughly, forcing your walls to accept him, all air in your lungs leaving in a suffered groan. He’s thick and long and pushing to the hilt you feel more than full, like he was taking you over, touching all of you at once. The stretch burned but the pain quickly dulled when he began rutting into you, a selfishly brutal pace that had you helplessly gasping. He fucks you as deep as the suit will allow him, the waist of the costume slamming into your hips so hard the desk thudded against the floor. 
It’s like you’re outside of your body looking at the scene, feeling his hands move to lift your body from the desk, holding you and manipulating the angle of his pounding to suit him. Shoving into the part of you that makes you scream and your juices spill around the base of his cock. It doesn't feel real, but at the same time is brutally so an unwilling pleasure seizing hold of you and making you clench around his length. He groans,not stopping his pace as you begin to flutter around him, what a filthy fucking thing you are to enjoy this, he thinks, the thought making him fuck you harder. Forceful thrusts that quickly beginning to stutter as the monster nears his end, bursting inside you like an animal and stuffing you full of him. You’re dirty, used and broken, letting the cum seep around him, dripping down onto the desk. 
He holds you still for what feels like hours before dropping you down onto the slick tabletop, leaving you to crumple on the floor. There’s no coherent thoughts in your mind, just a frightening emptiness as you get to your knees and crawl over to where he threw your clothes, hands shaking as you try to gather them up. He chuckles at your form, bruises already beginning to show on your hips and thighs, before slowly walking to you, a cold metal foot shoving you over, your body thudding into the floor. 
“Now, where do you think you’re going?”
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A/n: Here it is. My second Hallowe'en event, thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed. I know this is very different to the kind of thing I usually write, but heck, why not try something new. X
Stay tuned for my third fic!
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curvykittyyssmutfics · 3 months
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Dating Both Boys (NSFW Alphabet)
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A = Aftercare: The boys are very aware they both leave your whole body soiled and brain fucked so stupid that it's only fair to run you a nice warm bubble bath, help wash away their cum and soothe your sore overworked limbs. Sometimes you put the pussy on em so good that Satoru falls into a dreamlesss slumber soon as he nuts, snorin in your ear with his softening length still lodged deep inside you. But Suguru ain't the one. Holds his nose till he gasps dramatically, ice blue eyes shootin open. "Wake up idiot. Go get the bath ready for her."
B = Body Part (fave): "Mouth!" Suguru's cheeks heat when his answer spills from his lips before you can get the question out. "Sorry. Just really love kissin you." "Aw, how sweet Sugu!" "And.. Seein your plump lips all glossed up, slidin up and down my dick.. Shit really does somethin to me.." "Sugu! Tsk. Can tell Toru's been a bad influence on you." Now Satoru comes up with a different response everytime, filthy ass gropin wherever he can reach each time you bring the topic up to get a direct answer. "Baby, how can I choose? You're so fuckin perfect. There's no part of you that can't make me nut till I drop." You shake your head at the horny fuck. "Maybe I should ask your dick instead since you only think with him, fuckin THOT." "Touchè, baby. Touchè.."
C = Cum: Since your white haired sorcerer is nothin short of an absolute terrorizing menace, he finds satisfaction in blanketing your face with his cum whenever you allow it. Will really jerk his cock off all in your grill and cum a second time if he doesn't deem the first load big enough. "Hmm.. Think that's enough. Can barely open your eyes now, pretty mama. Let's go show Sugu!" For Suguru it's a tie between stuffin your throat or cunt. Loves when you stick your tongue out to show him the mess before swallowin your reward. Sometimes he's nice enough to let you decide. "Tell me ma, should I feed this mouth up here? Or do your pretty brown lips below wanna taste this nut?"
D = Dirty Secret: You stumble upon the skeleton in their closet one bright sunny afternoon comin home from class. You'd stayed later to have a word with Yaga, declining the boys offer to wait up. You're just not expectin to catch a savage Satoru brutally mounting Suguru doggystyle inna way that makes you 100% sure this ain't the first time. You stare wide eyed through the cracked bedroom door, hand clamped over your mouth, thighs pressing together as your pussy flutters to the sight. Both men on the bed facin you, gruntin and growlin like hungry predators. Satoru feels your presence but pretends otherwise. Disgusting filth drippin from his lips as he speeds the pace, smackin Suguru's flesh and yankin on his dark locks so hard that he cries out like a whore. You watch intently, stunned but so fuckin turned on. Sure they've touched each other in front of you, handjobs and such, but it had always seemed like they only engaged cause it turned you into a supersoaker. You ain't never seen no orgasmic shit like this. Gotta slide your fingers into your panties for some well needed relief, mentally smackin yourself when a small moan slips out. "Well, well, well.. Looks like we got an audience Sugu." Satoru finally acknowledges you, not bothering to slow his hips as he tugs Suguru from the pillows by his tangled hair. His dark eyes meet yours, tinted cheeks flushin an even brighter red as shame fills his core. It was an interesting fuckin evening for sure.
E = Experience: Satoru of course was a man whore before he convinced you to give him a shot. You assume he'll be quite versed in the art of all things sexual and for the most part, he is. Skilled and so quick to get excited when he sees how good you're feelin. But sometimes you need to readjust his fingers or hips to the correct angle, remind him not to rush cause none of you aren't goin anywhere. "There, Toruuu.. Right there but not so fast. Got all night- right Sugu?" As far as your other boyfriend was concerned, you hit the fuckin jackpot cause he was a virgin when you guys started dating. It really is a holy experience to be able to corrupt thee Suguru Geto. Though you feel bad when Satoru teases him on you bein the only pussy he's ever gotten. "Shut up Toru. Or I'll tie you up, not let you cum while you watch me drain Sugu's fat balls." Satoru smacks his lips and the back of Suguru's head in irritation. "See woman? You be choosin.."
F = Favorite Position: Satoru's breath catches in his throat, a glowing brightness fraying the edges of his vision the first time he gets you on all fours, baring witness to that almost back breakin arch. You're a godess to him, especially in this position- perfect round ass jiggling widly, smackin his pelvis in thundering claps. Sticky strings of your shared arousal connecting you both every time he pulls his hips back. Don't get him started on your reactions. Your feral as shit in this position. "Fuck, could you be any louder? Hm? No really baby, can you? Let's test it out." Suguru doesn't agree with Satoru on much but your ass is definitely just as hypnotizing to him. Though he prefers you in reverse cowgirl, smackin both hands down your dimpled cheeks till they burn more than your strained thighs. Even spreads them, smilin when you get all shy and flabbergasted as he stares longingly at your winking holes. Doesn't ever forget to make sure a mirrors nearby so he doesn't miss your tits matchin the rythym of your voluptuous hips. "Good God, y/nnn.. Killin me baby- oh fuck! Bouta cum!" "Nooo, only b-been a few minutes Suguuu!"
G = Goofy: The three of you've been together so long, bond so deeply rooted, they absolutely feel free to be carelessly humorous with you. Even in vulnerable moments. Satoru especially, lovin to put his mean dom twist on it. Mocks your strangled pleas and breathless cries of his name as he grins and wreaks havoc on your clit. Suguru is more reserved when he's inside you. Mostly waits for you to initiate; usually a dirty joke bout how big he is. He offers a huffed chuckle and a quick quip as he takes you apart piece by piece. "All the better to fuck you with my dear."
H = Hair: The carpet absolutely matches the drapes on these gorgeous hunk of men. Does it really surprise a soul that Suguru keeps his shit as neat as the hair on his head? Both men trim, though Satoru may forget and need a reminder. Bonus: Your fresh out the bath, towel wrapped round your curvy body snugly, sittin on the edge of the tub. Your lookin for an escape route as Suguru stands by the sink pleading with you. "Please y/n? All you gotta do is lay back and spread for us." "Ew. Why Sugu? So freakin gross!" You whine back. "No it's not. Perfectly normal thing for couples to do. Right, Toru?" You both look to a chill Satoru leaned against the bathroom doorway. "Course it is. But even if it weren't, that wouldn't stop us sweetheart. You should know that by now." "But I always shave myself down there. Why do you want to?" "Cause it'll bring us closer baby, you'll see." You look at Satoru again but he shrugs, giftin you a dazzling smile. "Fine." You grumble. "Great! Toru go get the bowl of water and razor in the kitchen, you know where." "On it!" He whizzes from the room as you instantly realize this was prearranged. "Fuckin freaky plotters!"
I = I Love You: Even though Satoru's shallow ass confessed during sex, he meant it with all his heart. But neither you or Suguru had said it yet and rejection was an experience he wasn't fond of. Regardless, it slips one day when he's got you missionary. Fingers linked as he sensually makes love to you, nut just over the horizon. You're so needy, beggin him to tell you how good you're makin him feel; to tell you how much he needs you. "Oh fuck yes you're a good girl. No one can take me better baby. Mmm.. Please don't ever take my pussy away.. Ahhh- so good sweetheart! Love it so much. Looove this pussy.. Shiiit cummin, y/n! Love you so much, babygirl!" With Suguru it comes when you offer the perfect solution to the issue of the curses he swallows tastin like shit onna stick, although it takes a considerable amout of your cursed energy and temporarily weakens you severely. "Can't believe you did this for me. Thank you, princess. So so fuckin much. I appre- no y/n. I love you. Love you forever and a day, babe."
J = Jerking Off: It's all Suguru knew at one point so now that he's sampled sex with you, he's grown a serious disliking to makin himself cum. But he doesn't like to impose on you. You're a busy woman, as well as you put in a lot of time and energy into keepin both your men happy in any way you can. So when he gets an inkling that you need a break, he'll head to the bathroom to handle business. Makes sure to bring his cell, full of sexy pics and vids of his lovers. Satoru is a bit more selfish. Realistically, the man probably only jerks off alone 7-8 times a year. Makes sure that either of his partners lend a helping hand whenever he gets too pent up. Other than that if his hands on his dick it's aim or tease.
K = Kink: Suguru's into a lil role play, spit kink, edging, a smidge of voyeurism and a whole lotta breeding. Might actually die of embarrasment if you ever found out about the latter. Told Satoru they'd battle to the death if he ever snitched. Wants 10 babies that look just like his lovers. You're both so beautiful, can you blame him? And Satoru has too many kinks to count, we'd be here all day tryin to list em all. But some of his faves include light BDSM, Daddy kink sprinkled with some puppy play, and of course some somno. He wasn't sure how to introduce the last one into the fold though. How was he ever supposed to tell his princess, or even Suguru for that matter, that he drools daily fantasizing about slidin into your unconscious body. Wants to see if he can fuck that perfect pussy to an orgasm while you sleep, needs you to lay there all warm and pliant, oblivious to him usin you like a pocket pussy.
L = Location: Satoru is a connoisseur of public relations. Literally any fuckin where. The amount of joy he finds from you pullin out all the stops in effort to hold in your pitchy moans is fuckin sickening. From him feastin on your pulsing clit in the car in the movie theater parking lot to fingerin you in a booth at your fave restaurant. It's all the more worse when he taunts you with his soft pink mouth, kissin up and down your neck tenderly as you try to hide the way your eyes cross behind your menu. But Suguru beats Satoru in depravity this time. It's a whole new level of sick how much he delighted in fuckin you in your childhood bed when you take them to meet your parents. You thank God they ran to the store to grab a few items to for dinner. Satoru begrudgingly plays watch-out by the front door as Suguru fucked you so hard he splintered the headboard against the wall. He's been absolutely infatuated with doin it again since.
M = Motivation: It doesn't take much to get the boys ready for some action. You poke fun at them constantly bout how easy it is to make their dicks rise to the occasion. But they take it on the chin easily cause they know its 100% true. They'll never not be able to get hard for you at the drop of a dime, even after a couple rounds. Run your fingers through Suguru's black mane, nails scratching his scalp how he likes and now he's sittin in front of you, avoiding eye contact as he tries to hide the tent in his pants. "Not my fault Sugar- you know what that does to me!" It's even less work for Satoru, only havin to give him your signature bedroom eyes. He's immediately hard, trippin over his pants and underwear while he tries to take them off as he chases you to the bedroom. "Better come back- y/n! Bring my pussy back here, now!"
N = No: There just isn't many ways for you to gross your men out or turn them off. With that being said shit play and piss play isn't in the cards for you three. Like thanks, but no thanks! Well.. except that one time you told Satoru to stop as he bounced you on his dick, moaning out that you had to pee. He refused. Chalked it up to you gettin ready to squirt, like you were known to do from time to time. But Mr. Know It All was wrong and got wet the fuck up. His only response was to slam you down by your shoulders and creampie you with a loud pitiful whine. To this day he argues that you squirted. "Nice try. But not likely, sir." "Well.. Either way I'm fuckin." "You really are a fuckin freak, Toru."
O = Oral: Neither are stingy in the department. Both your boy's eyes light up like kids in a candy store when they get to eat you out. In part to satiate their own needs but also because of how much they know you enjoy it. Suguru waits with bated breath to hear yours catch when he holds your gaze and slowly sinks to his knees in front of you. Cums untouched the way you shudder as he nurses your nub, thick thighs squeezin his ears tight as hell. And Satoru's equally obsessed with the taste of you. The times you allow him to tie you up though.. It's a roll if the dice if he's gonna overstim you or not. Usin his mouth is his fave way to overwhelm you, big hands tuggin you back onto his swollen lips when you attempt to run from his talented tongue.
P = Pace: It's just depends on the mood. Chiiile.. Both of em are waaay too versatile to stick with a singular speed. One of the reasons why your guys sex life's so great is because of how spontaneous they are- in every way. Satoru especially, peepin your reactions; waitin till your nice and relaxed, gradually stroking in before pullin out, angling just right and fuckin in quicker than speedy gonzales. Drools how your fat jiggles from his sudden jarring thrusts. "Aww. Poor lil cry baby.. What's that, honey? Faster? Heh. Anything for you baby." Similarly Suguru will tease you too. Or just plain out ask you what your in the mood for. "So how you wanna doin this thang, mama? Want me to play nice or not? ... Oh yeah? Better cancel your plans then girl. Finna tear it up.."
Q = Quickie: Suguru's much better at em than Satoru. Makes sure you not to wrinkle your clothes if there's not enough time to strip you. And always asks where you want him to cum so it's not an inconvenience. "Ahhh fuck.. It's comin honey- where you want it? ... Inside? Ohhh thank fuck, here it is sweet girl. Take that shit.." But Satoru loves to ravish you so he turns his nose up at quickies. That's not to say his pussy whipped ass isn't gonna fuck but he always rolls his eyes and huffs in exasperation when you tell him to hurry up or becareful of your hair. "Fuckin hell, woman.. Would you shush up and lemme do my job while you do yours? Just sit pretty and take this dick like a good girl."
R = Risk: Satoru's always game to experiment when it comes to doin shit to you. A bit more reserved concerning you wantin to do somethin he considers to be 'psychotic'. "Oh come on Toru. Don't be a scaredy cat!" He stiffens, chiseled chest pokin out as he lays up all spread out on the bed with you in between his legs. "It's just a finger! You know you've done a lot worse to Sugu." Satoru sputters at you, arms crossin across his chest indignantly. "Whatever. I'm not saying no, I said go slow." "Ok, ok.. yeesh.. Big baby." You say the latter under your breath with a smirk. "Heard that shit, woman!" Now Suguru's just as cautious. And that's probably a good thing since you guys tend to test each others limitations. "Y/n, you can't be serious! You realize you're just gonna give the egomaniacal bastard another power trip, right?" He fumes at a silent grinning Satoru. "Please baby, it's for me. Forget he's even there. Focus on me, handsome." You advise him sweetly, gently pushin him to his knees. Finally givin Satoru the opportunity to force his dick between Suguru's dark blush lips. He does as you say, holding your adoring gaze, large palms settling on Satoru's narrow hips. "Thats it, just like that Sugu. Doin so well, don't even need any help." Satoru pants and groans, holdin the sides of Suguru's head as he eases in and out of his warm wet mouth, mentally noting the lack of a gag reflex. "Fuuuuck, she ain't lyin babe. You're a fuckin natural."
S = Stamina: You can get your men to cum multiple times during a session, both bein able to shoot about 3-4 nuts before the overstimulation is damn near crippling. Though on the norm, since you already have two big strong men to take care of, they let you off the hook with an orgasm each. Can't blame a girl for being good at doin the do! But to set the record straight, they can fuck way longer than you can take. You usually max out your stamina by the end of round 2. But neither ever mind. They just scoop you up and carry your fatigued frame to the shared bathroom. "My poor tired woman. Had to use the safe word.. Did so good for us though, mama. That right, Toru?" A nude half hard Satoru trails behind, feelin a smidge of guilt at your half conscience state. "Fuck yeah. You did 'mazin tonight, sweetheart. Don't worry, we'll take care of you now. ... And Sugu.. Maybe later.. You can finish takin care of me?" His tone pathetically hopeful. "For cryin out loud, horndog. Can we just get her cleaned up first? ... Then we'll, uh... We'll see what happens." The giddy bounce Satoru does in obvious anticipation as he runs your bath, lengthy cock now drippin and at full mass again, makes Suguru blush like a virgin.
T = Toys: Ofcourse y'all add a few toys to the mix every now and again. You prefer air pulsing vibrators instead of the extra intense devices that can be numbing. The boys love using em as foreplay, otherwise they're mainly for when you're alone. Satoru has a good size chest of shit- whips, nipple clamps, ball gags and even an unassembled sex swing. There's a bunch more and you haven't tried em all yet but can't wait. But you like to play and feign disinterest when he brings up his nasty lil box. They know better though. Suguru's not entirely experienced when it comes to this area but even he notices how much wetter you get when they use toys. And it's no problem when Satoru has to teach him how to use some of em on you cause he's a real quick learner. There's just somethin real naughty bout seein you cuffed to the spreader bar, sight never fails to get him impatient as hell. "Move Toru, needa fuck her first tonight." He breathes, rudely bumpin Satoru to the side with his shoulder. "Ok, ok. Geez, Sugu. Don't gott be a dick bout it. And try not to cum too quick this time." He chuckles at the blatant eagerness, but Suguru's not amused. "Quiet. Or I'll put you in the spreader and fuck you next." He's just talkin shit, already sinkin into your heat and forgetting bout Satoru's incessant taunting. So preoccupied with you that he misses the way Satoru's dick twitches as he gulps audibly, imagining Suguru's empty threat in his filthy mind.
U = Uncut: Satoru's circumcised with a lengthy cock. You often wonder if it's as long as his lanky body, how far it reaches inside, easily able to jam your poor gspot repeatedly if need be. He's got your throat trained real good without even tryin cause of how thick it is. But it just doesn't compare to the depth this man reaches inside you. He's got more veins than Suguru too. Your fave protrudes and twists round his base, beggin to be licked when he's fully hard. But Suguru's uncut, almost as extended as Satoru, though has a more girth to him. Takes him no time for his cock to rage red when he's been stiff for too long. Also spills alot more precum than Satoru. Loves when you pull the skin back and suck softly, effectively siphoning the clear fluid from his slit till he's nuttin a big fat load down your throat.
V = Volume: To this day you don't know why Suguru sometimes tries to bite his lips or fist to muffle the beautiful noises that slip out. His deep gruff grunts are so quiet, opting to tell you in words how good he feels or when he's bout to cum. It's something you work on, constantly reminding him there's no shame in voicing how good he feels. But when you put the pussy on him too good or he's too pent up, which is pretty often, he's less self conscious. Huffin and puffin against your moist mouth, lewd phrases tumbling from him nonstop. You're not even sure he knows what he's saying half the time. You're eventually inhaling his loud piteous moans into your mouth as he loses his mind in your lil puss. And of course we all know Satoru's a screamer. He never shuts the fuck anyway, so why would he do so in the bedroom? It's starts of with booming cries into your ear that eventually end up with wails of how good you feel echoing round the room. He's not doing it on purpose, but as soon as his mouth opens when he's in-between your thighs, you and your neighbors are definitely bout to hear an earful.
W = Wild Card: (Fucking to Music) It's something you initiated but Satoru was definitely wit it. Boys got more rythym in his hips than you and it should be fuckin illegal. You give him a list of your favorite love makin songs and he brings back a playlist, adding a few nasty songs of his own that got no business bein played anywhere but Functions. He's loves gettin you in missionary, rollin his hips into yours seductively as he matches the slow beat. An aroused sob rips from your chest out your mouth when he lessens the pace, singing the words quietly at your ear as he cages you to the bed. This is when Suguru's voyeurism kicks in, skin heatin up as lays in bed next to you guys; watchin your love making turn to frenzied fucking as the song changes, taking notes on how Satoru's tempo never strays from the flow of the music. Can't wait to show you what he can do next.
X = X-ray: Satoru likes to be ready for the pussy at drop of a dime so you're used to him goin commando most days but you are so not a fan.. Even when you tease him, tossin him a clean pair of Suguru's boxers and tellin him he's onna coochie restriction if he dont start wearin some damn drawers round here. "Fuck is that?" You scoff and put your hands on your shapely hips. "Means you aint gettin no pussy till you start wearin underwear, you lil hoe." He clutches his heart, feigning chest pains as you roll your eyes at his dramatics. "Don't play with me like that sweetheart. Guess you win.." You really don't though. The next time you yank down his bottoms, eyes wide before grippin your belly in hysterics at the fact that he's wearing a pair of your lacy panties. "Satoru!" You manage through your giggle fit but he only professes his innocence."What? I'm just doin what you told me to! Do I get the pussy now?" Suguru watches the reoccurring debacle in amusement, glad he has no issue with wearin his trusted snug black boxer briefs. You always make sure to give him extra big smooch when they're bout to leave the house, opting to ruffle Satoru's soft white hair instead as you try not grin at his pout. "What? Not my fault Sugu's a good boy that doesn't walk round in public slangin his dick print everywhere." Satoru huffs his disdain for Suguru's 'ass kissin', declaring him a teachers pet.
Y = Yearning: Between your two sex crazed men, their libido is very very high. It's to be expected since your guys attraction and chemistry has been on point since before you officially started dating. It really is like were made for one another. But if they're not specifically careful, they'll easily wear you out. It's unavoidable, you just turn them on too fuckin much. Suguru will even try to slake his desires by jerking off over your tired frame after they've fucked you into exhaustion. "Shit! 'S not enough, forgive me baby. Just need a lil more. Won't fuck you anymore, dont worry! Just need to feel you, my one and only girl." Rubs his cock all over your sweaty body cause his hand just doesn't compare to any part of your soft flawless mocha frame. Cums as he trace his dick across your stretch marks, moaning how pretty and perfect you are. "F-fuuuck.. So sorry, honey. Ahshit! Gonna let you rest, almost done. Just lemme- ohhh fuck, 'm cummin!" Satoru can't contain himself either, difference bein he doesn't even attempt to. Sometimes Suguru has to leave when he's still fuckin you, reminds Satoru that you might need a break soon on his way out but all he gets is a noncommitted hum. You try nudging at his abdomen, keening as he speeds his thrusts but Satoru only covers your mouth. Smile sinister as you scratch at his hand and push at his chest with wide eyes, muffled cries for Suguru goin unheard as your savior walks out the front door oblivious to your torture. Satoru fucks you even faster, fallin in love with your tight lil puss all over again. "Whose gonna save you now, y/n?"
Z = Zzz: Like previously mentioned, Satoru gets so drunk on your pussy it's written in the stars that he's driftin off soon as he nuts for the last time. Doesn't wanna squish his princess so will quickly turn you on your side or back, big dick still tucked deep inside as he drags you against his large warm body. "One sec.. Honey.. So tired, gonna.. get up inna.." Zzz. Suguru usually has to rectify the situation, pullin you from a whining Satoru or just plain smackin him. Loses all his patience if it's his turn to fuck. SLAP! "Ow! The fuck, Sugu?! What was that for?" He blinks rapidly, the nerve to actually be disoriented when he wasn't even supposed to be asleep! "Cause your in the way of my pussy, idiot. Don't pretend you ain't tackle me to the floor when it was your turn." Suguru replies, movin to smack him again. Now he of course he's just as tired as Satoru when he finishes. But only falls asleep right after if you decline aftercare. Snuggles up to the closest warm body and drifts into a peaceful slumber after a quick replay of the night's events in his weary mind.
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babygorewhore · 10 months
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Divine Ruler. Kai Anderson smut.
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Kai has been so mean lately. But you couldn’t resist him…could you? WARNINGS! Corruption. Use of the word daddy. Slapping. Fingering. Oral! Fem receiving. PnV! Cream pie. Overstimulation. Choking. Mean! Kai.
Okay. Okay. I know! I KNOW I SAID IM TAKING A BREAK! AFTER THIS IS POSTED I SWEAR I AM. BUT I WORKED ON THIS SINCE LAST NIGHT. ENJOY MY LITTLE LAMBS.
You heard the front door slam. Shuffling downstairs, waking you up from deep sleep. Then you heard yelling. You exited the room, hearing the commotion in the basement. As you walked, you overheard Kai screaming at Samuels. “Motherfucker. Don’t you know that you could have ruined this whole thing?” He yelled, raising his hand to slap the man.
“I’m sorry, divine ruler. I was thinking with my dick. Not my brain.” Kai lowered his hand. Changing his mind.
“Get him out of my sight. I’ll deal with him later.”
That wasn’t the last of it.
You were making coffee in the kitchen but you accidentally dropped a cup. It didn’t break but it made a loud noise. Kai slammed his hand down on the counter, right next to you.
“If you’re not more careful, I’m going to lock you in the fucking closet.” He hissed before ripping away from you. You breathed harder.
The next time, you were in the basement sitting on the couch next to winter as he was telling one of his deranged stories. You ached for him. You missed his touch and kisses. You wanted his attention but you were forbidden to speak during these moments.
“And that’s why…men lead. Women bleed.”
“Kai. That’s absolutely cruel.” You couldn’t stop yourself from speaking. Kai froze and so did you. You broke a rule.
“So, this is what you’ve decided to do in front of my faithful men. Disrespect me. Question my words.”
“No. I just think…” you continued.
“What? You think, what?” He growled.
“I just think that’s wrong. Is all.” You finished.
Kai shot up, faster than you anticipated and reached forward, locking his hand around your neck. “Beg. Beg for my forgiveness.” Your eyes widened as he grip tightened.
“I’m-im- I’m sorry.” You whimpered.
“That’s not fucking good enough.” He yelled but he did let go. You inhaled deeply as he sat back down, continuing to share his ideas.
Later, you waited in the bedroom for him. Planning on getting on your knees to apologize. Some sort of contact was better than none. But as the hours grew later, you realized he wasn’t coming to bed. You laid on your side and started crying. You missed him so much. But you didn’t know why. He was distant more than he was affectionate. He was so determined to succeed that you often went neglected.
You sat up and wiped your tears. Set on finding out what was going on with him. As you walked through the house searching, everyone was asleep. You opened the door to his parents room and you saw him sitting beside his mothers corpse. You held your nose and stood at the doorway.
“Kai?”
He didn’t look at you.
“Are you going to come to bed?” You asked him.
“My father wasn’t a good man.” Kai said aloud, as if he wasn’t talking to you. “He was the reason my mother killed herself. He deserved to die. More than her.”
You nodded, enjoying the rare vulnerability he was showing. “It gives me pleasure. To literally see him rot for what he did.” Kai said before standing, letting go of his mother’s skeleton hand.
“Why did you come to look for me?” He demanded.
“Because I miss you.” You sniffled. “I miss you and I want you back.” He looked at you unimpressed.
“As you know, I must bring progress to this movement. I can’t allow my personal feelings to get me distracted.”
“But I’m your girlfriend! Talk to me. Show me how you’re feeling!” You respond desperately.
“How am I supposed to show how pissed off I am without hurting a little girl like you?” He mused and walked closer to you, tilting your chin up. “Just a little precious, innocent girl. Too senseless to walk away from a man as dangerous as me.”
“I’m not senseless. I love you, Kai. I want you.” You leaned forward to kiss him but his hand locked around your jaw. Squeezing it too tight.
“How badly? How bad do you want me?” You swallowed, scared to reply.
“You’re still young…ten years between us. I still have so much to show you.” He whispered, getting closer to your lips.
“Please. Touch me.” You pleaded, ignoring the pain in your jaw. Kai let you go, but his brown eyes impossibly darkened. His hands wrapped in your hair and yanked you against him, his teeth bared.
“Get on the floor. And crawl. Crawl back to the bedroom. And don’t fucking get up until I tell you too.” You nodded rapidly, terrified to disobey. You got on your hands and knees, crawling back down the hall and into his bedroom.
You stopped when you felt his foot, knock you over, making you fall on your forearms. You gasped. “Did I fucking say to move?” Kai barked at you. You immediately returned to your position.
“Fuck. Look at that pretty ass. Should I fuck it? Spread my cum all over you and make you show everyone who exactly you belong too, little girl?” His hand grazed your lower back before he pulled you back by your belt loops.
“Stand up.” He ordered and you did. Like a personal puppet. Your back was pressed against his chest as he leaned down, his nose going against your pulse point. His tongue darted out, licking the warm flesh.
“You taste so good. But I wonder…how wet are you for me?” He shoved his hands in your pants, shoving aside your underwear, his pointer finger gathering your slick.
“You fucking dirty girl. Wet for me when I treat you like a doll. But you like that don’t you?” He shoved his finger in your mouth, making you taste yourself.
“Taste that? That’s mine.” He turned you around, his height over yours as he looked down at you like you were pathetic. “Open your mouth. Stick out your tongue.” He spits in your mouth before he nods towards the bed.
“Get on the bed. And spread those pretty legs.” You listened to him with your heart in your throat. You laid on the mattress, still wearing your leggings as you spread your legs, feeling your wetness drip down your legs.
Kai peered down at you, looking bored. “Take off your leggings. I wanna see that little pussy.” Your cheeks flushed as you shimmied out of your pants, exposing your bare lower half.
“Fuck. You’re dripping. Such a bad girl.” Kai kneeled down, flexing his fingers before he shoved two inside, you cried out at the sudden fullness. “Oh. Can you not take it? Are you too innocent for my fingers?” You breathed harder as he pumped inside you. You wanted to touch your clit but you hesitated.
“What do you want? You want me to make you cum?” Kai asked you, you could feel his breath. “I think you’ve been a good little princess for me. I think you deserve a reward.”
His tongue laid flat against your clit. You moaned as he spread you further with his fingers, flicking his tongue as he made out with your pussy. You felt his teeth graze against your walls as you threw your head back. “Kai-“ You shuddered as he replaced his fingers with his tongue inside and started circling your clit with his thumb.
“You know what’s not what you call me. Do you want me to stop?” You shook your head, ashamed at how desperate you were for his touch.
You searched in your head for names he liked. .
“No, daddy. Please don’t stop.” He slapped your pussy. You winced.
“That’s good. Really good. But not what I’m looking for today.”
“D-divine ruler?” You whimpered as he increased his speed. Kai smirked against your pussy.
“Atta girl. That’s right. Say it again.”
“Please don’t stop, divine ruler.” You groaned, getting close to your release.
“Do you want to cum?” He asked, softly running his tongue against your folds.
“Fuck. Please, please, please.” You begged before it hit you. Your warmth spread along his face as you rolled your hips, chasing your orgasm.
You started to settle but Kai lurched forward and wrapped his hand around your neck. “Did I fucking say you could? You always wait until I say you can. And you disobeyed me. Again.” He tapped your cheek with his hand, not hard but enough to get your attention.
“But you said-“ this time. A slap came. Harder.
“Don’t fucking interrupt me.” Kai yanked down his pants, down his thighs and his boxers followed. He pumped his shaft a few times before lining it up with your entrance. “Just for that. You don’t get to touch me.”
“Oh god. Kai wait- I need a minute.” You begged but he slammed inside you, causing you to nearly scream.
Your pussy clenched around him as he thrusted hard and deep inside you. His hand gripped your throat as his other pinned your hands above your head. Keeping you still.
“What’s a soft little girl doing? Being so wet for me.” He groaned against your neck as he pressed sloppy kisses against your throat. You could hardly breathe but you felt yourself getting ready for another orgasm.
“Divine ruler-“ you moaned. Trying to loosen his grip. But he was stronger than you.
Kai settled into a fast and rough rhythm as you both grew close. Your eyes saw stars as you felt yourself break. Kai let out one last deep moan before you felt his cum spill inside you, and you followed suit.
He slid in and out of you, still not removing yourself. You couldn’t bare the overstimulation and you tried to wiggle from him.
“Too fucked to talk?” He asked you, as sweat gathered on his forehead.
“Please…” You pleaded through gasps.
Finally, he released you. Kai shuddered before he pulled out of your slickness. He fell next to you, breathing hard as you tried to collect yourself.
You reached down, sore from him as you saw blood on your fingers. You weren’t a virgin, thanks to Kai several weeks ago. But he still took you so roughly.
“A little blood never hurt anyone.” Kai chuckled. He scooped you in his arms and you curled around his chest. Your legs tangling with his.
Kai stayed silent as you kissed his cheek, allowing you to show him affection as he ran his hand across your arm.
Taglist. @spill-the-t @evanptrss @evanpetersfansblog @randodummy @icannot3
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mysterycitrus · 2 months
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what gave you the idea for persephone? was it spite towards those "reverse robins" things where everyone before dick is somehow still robin (understandable and very valid they rarely do anything storywise and also give the backstories to different people without considering character)? or something else
it was originally kinda the skeleton of a fic id started writing like five years ago — about new52 nightwing and pre-flashpoint nightwing swapping universes — but tbh last year i read something that was an examination of dick grayson as robin through the eyes of the other robins and it just……. threw me off so bad that persephone spawned as a result
persephone and the series as a whole is just one long character study of dick grayson and the ghost of his parents, and how he’s viewed by others. there’s like… four prequels exclusively about him as perceived by others cause i find it’s a very effective way to engage with a character. we know this character and can more or less guess his thought process, but do others?
the thing i read was pretty much just the other robins being like “we didn’t really know him cause we liked the other robins better but he was ok i guess?” and tim talking about how much he loved jason which just made me think about how the robin legacy is so muddied in both fanon and canon that i just couldn’t contain myself. that was my first foray back into comics fandom and it was jarring with how my ideas differed from what seemed to be popular. obvsly not interested in flaming a fanwork but like…. i wanted to at least post something about my understanding of the characters. that’s why i wrote wolf king too (my mistake) — there are popular fanon plot beats i just disagree with. ive never really read reverse robin stuff because i don’t think the robin mantle would work in that order so i can’t comment on it but yeah. same principle.
i do think it’s possible to write interesting speculative batman stuff while being relatively true to every character, so that’s my ultimate intention. to add interesting details to canon in a meaningful way.
so yeah. ig i was inspired by being a meanie. and because dick grayson is my very special boy ♥️
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tsaritza-mika · 2 months
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More Tadfools Shit that We all Need
BECAUSE WE NEED MORE CHAOTIC FOUND FAMILY SHENANIGANS DAMMIT!!!
I need Astarion learning he can spider crawl on the ceiling, and then completely fucking with everyone. Everyone’s helms keep coming off their heads when they’re walking out the door? Astarion is failing at trying so hard not to laugh and give himself away. Lae’zel, Shadowheart, Gale, and Halsin’s hair keeps coming undone? Astarion is being a little shit again and stealing the ribbons/clips that hold them in place! Wyll and Karlach discovering their horns now have ridiculous looking ornaments/bells hanging off them? Astarion stole a bag from a shop and thought the two could use some more decoration!
I need Gale to decide that its time to remind everyone in camp where the real power is, and cast a protection spell on himself that makes him immune to intense heat, while making dinner as spicy as fuck! Then he can sit around calmly while everyone else is either crying about how they’re going to die, or rushing to dunk their entire head in the Chionthar
I need Halsin deciding he’s had enough of Minthara’s ‘Drow are so superior’ talk and secretly instructing everyone to act as if all is normal, while leaving an increasing amount of carved ducks around her tent area. Every time she enters/leaves her tent there are more and more freaking ducks!! And then she wakes one morning to find herself covered in them and her bedroll floating in the middle of the river!!
I need Shadowheart and Karlach to go around while everyone’s asleep and use her makeup to draw dicks and other offensive things on everyone else's faces, but then to make sure they aren’t caught, they do it to each other but it's super obvious they were the culprits cause they’re the only ones with compliments on their faces
I need Jaheira to absolutely misuse vine whip as an improvised leash so that keeping these stupid children she’s been saddled with from running off to die ridiculous deaths will be easier
@the-skeleton-speaks We need Astarion being designated the camp tailor, but he’s low-key salty about it because what the fuck do these people just not take care of their shit!? So he deliberately uses thread that is either the same color or just a tad too light/dark and embroiders insults into each of them
We need Karlach helping Wyll with his horns/hair, because he’s not used to working around them, but it takes her a while to get it the way he likes, and by the time she’s done, his neck and her hands are so damn sore
@ultimmmmmp We need Minthara and Lae’zel being absolute trolls and slipping Selunite trinkets/symbols all around Shadowheart’s tent, and then making comments about how bad she’s been at trying to convince them she was such an edgy cleric and followed Shar
@basiliskfree We need Karlach and Wyll getting too damn excited about all the hero stories to the point that they start role playing the fights and quoting terribly cheesy heroic banter
@ryttu3k (this is as close as I’ll get cause I’m not on the bloodweave ship XDDD) We need Astarion messing w/ Gale while he’s asleep by moving all of his bookmarks to the wrong pages, relocating his books around to other parts of the camp, and even being so brazen as to dogear a page or two in some of his known favs @soul-of-rei We need Astarion, Lae’zel, and Shadowheart to be the mean girl crew, commenting on everything and everyone and just being general catty menaces! The three of them turn Vicious Mockery into an art to be feared! Practicing your fighting technique? Pathetic Istick! A Gith wouldn’t need to do it more than twice, yet you’ve been doing it all afternoon and you’re still sloppy as a hatchling! How about your makeup? Shar save us from your pathetic attempt at a smokey-eye... Is yellow your color? Darling if yellow was your color, then it wouldn’t leave you looking like a rotten lemon! @scourgiez Gale and Jaheira just coming to the end of their patience with the aforementioned mean girl crew and casting silence on the lot of them, because holy fuck do they have to comment on every fucking thing within eyesight!? Also please tag me if you draw these, I want to see all the things XDD
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Text
Imagine the beast pirates learning you are a criminal mastermind
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Kaido: *going over a cargo manifest* we will sell these in Port Chugal, prepare them for shipment.
King: Port Chugal won't buy pirate goods anymore, the world government found out they've been trading with us, so they replaced the king there.
Kaido: That's the third distribution market I've had to change in the last month. First the Bourgeois Kingdom, then Ballywood, and now Port Chugal. How are they finding my warehouses?
Queen: we don't know at the moment, but we're working on it
You: *King's assistant* I would like to point out something that all three have in common.
King: Silence.
Kaido: let em talk, I want to hear what they have to say.
You: they were all common stops on Captain Rondow's transport route, who was captured almost three months ago by the world government.
Kaido: You think the poor bastard broke under torture?
You: It appears so, and from the other reports we're getting I'm guessing they have figured out how you conduct your exportation operation. *Hands King the reports*
King: *Skims them* we spent years building this system.
You: which means building another will be faster this time. I'm guessing how they're locating our goods is by the fact that while it's labeled under a company that doesn't have any paperwork officially filed in countries we claim it's from.
Kaido: what are we supposed to do, get a business permit?
You: yes, but actually no. Now any new businesses from any nations in your territory will come under scrutiny by the world government. So I think we should find any failing, but long-established companies, and bail them out in exchange for slipping our illicit cargo into their product distribution.
King: that... might actually work, but there's no way we can guarantee their loyalty.
You: that's why you give them a small percentage of the profits and gather blackmail material. Most rich people are sick fucks will have skeletons in their closet, you just have to look for it.
Kaido: I'll entrust the task to you, and in the meantime we'll have Yamato fill in for you with King.
King: what! No! Your son is... not great at paperwork.
Kaido: Sorry bud, but I'd like to see what they can do on their own, so I'm setting them loose.
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Returns from setting up the new network seven months later
Kaido: I just got the finance report for the last quarter
You: *literally just got off the boat* Sir?
King: Your network is more efficient than what we had set up.
Kaido: you're getting promoted, so you can manage it from here.
You: But I was really looking forward to working with King again.
Kaido: then you'll work under him not me.
You: I'm keeping my desk in your office.
King: For someone who ruthlessly castrated a man to get him to do what they wanted, you are very clingy and sentimental.
You: I was well within my rights to revoke that man's dick privilege, you had no idea how man people he's assaulted. I did that town a fucking favor by pickling that man's junk
Kaido: you pickled it!
You: Yes I did, how else, so you think I got an entire town to look the other way about our ships coming into the harbor?
Kaido: I never would have thought of that... You know when I met you I never would have guessed you'd be an asset to my operations. You seemed too soft and naive, too kind.
You: *shrugs* Well thank you for thinking I'm kind, but I just so happen to hate you less than the world government, and you have more money than the revolutionary army. And Lin Lin and her family freaks me out.
King: don't forget Akagami and Whitebeard won't hire you since you've worked with us.
You: *clicks your tongue* and I regret it every day.
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Coming Soon
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stealingyourbones · 1 year
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Hands over a bat skeleton.
Jazz Fenton dies in a ghost attack and is reborn as Barbara Gordon. It's not easy being a 'child genius' in Gotham, especially when you're into psychology. People seem to just be waiting for her to snap and somehow become a child villain. Which would never happen. Jazz knows better than to do something like that as a minor with no connections.
She's a lonely kid, so when the new kid, Richard Grayson, comes up to her and introduces himself at school, she's a little surprised. But despite him being a year or two younger than her, they become best friends.
Now, see, Jazz has experience with figuring out someone is secretly a superhero. So she sees the signs in Dick a week after he started as Robin and was certain about a month after that.
He's her only friend. There's no way she's going to have him alone in this. Batgirl has a different reason for flying in the night and it makes all the difference.
...she also gets her therapy license as Batgirl asap. Bruce needs help and there's no way she's going to leave him like he is. She can't help Dick like that, because it's until, but she gives tips and tricks that might help with trauma.
I'd like to add here that she tries to reach out to Harley Quinn because she is her hero and wants to ask for her to tutor her to help Dick.
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sansxfuckyou · 4 months
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new setting (new ideals)
Summary: Wherein John Dory accidentally sneaks into the home universe of Sans after a very small margin of victory in the latest multiversal tourney; things escalate in unprecedented ways after the local scientist sizes him up to scale.
Warnings: swearing, drinking, god i am so sorry for this
Authors Note: @ohposhers @bulliestrolls someone needs to put you two in the fucking slammer for drawing sansdory, and then they need to put me in the slammer for writing sansdory. for the sake of enjoying this fic please picture JD as a lot more creature than in canon.
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John Dory was small enough to fit inside of Sans' coat pocket.
Sans discovers this the hard way when the ex leader of brozone falls out of his pocket after his return to Snowdin.
"Ain't snow fucking way." Was what Sans managed as he stared at the unmoving body in the snow, far too small to be considered the average monster for the underground. The Troll would be eaten without a second thought, mistaken for the bugs Muffet doesn't provide protection for.
He plucks the tufted tail and holds up John Dory like he's a dead rat. Of course he snaps awake as soon as Sans is holding him at eye height, and with a screech he's flung aside as the skeleton lurches back.
Sans pauses to catch his breath, "Okay, so you're not dead. That's good."
"Where am I?!" Was John Dory's instant question as he shook the snow from his hair and brushed himself down.
"Pipe down pipsqueak, I won't let you get squished," Sans said as he took a seat on the snow. He held out a hand, "We should probably get you situated with Alphys, size you up a bit."
John reluctantly stepped onto a gloved hand and took a seat on the palm, it was cold and unpleasant. His tail thwipped loudly despite his size, "Anything else in mind to get me back home?" The words are agitated.
"Want me to leave you here?"
Silence.
"Thought so, I'll give you a hand in figuring it out, but you're playing by my rules bud."
"How were you the reigning champ for years on end?"
"The girlies liked me for my dry humor, MILF hunting attitude, and undetermined backstory- and my infinite fuckability of course."
"Must suck not having a dick."
Sans just gives a hum before giving John a gently toss, only a few inches but he still yelps and clings desperately to phalanges when he lands back in Sans' hand. It garners a chuckle from the skeleton, "Pal, I got extremities you couldn't even dream of, and no, that isn't an invitation to start listing 'em off."
John Dory shuts his mouth.
"Don't be shocked if Alphys tries to fill you up with needles and probes."
"With what-"
"She's a curious gal."
-/-/-/-
Thankfully the resizing process involves a lot less probing than Sans said it would, which John is eternally grateful for. He'd like to avoid having a cold piece of metal shoved up his ass if possible. The process just required a small blood sample and some weighing before he was resized with one little ray.
And then he was the exact same height as Sans, give or take a few inches.
"Proportionately, I can see why you won," Sans said, hands stuffed in his pockets and expression same as always. It's far too hard for John Dory to read, he can't tell if it's sarcastic or genuine.
"Thanks." He shrugs off the compliment because he doesn't know how to take it.
"Is it easier to see why I was the reigning champ?" Sans asked.
"You're the furthest thing from 'sexyman' out there," John Dory said before he could actually think about the words exiting his mouth.
Sans laughed, "Tell it to The Onceler, if you can convince him to take me off the bracket then I'll stop trying my best."
"You don't try at all."
"The girlies like me for that."
"What is it with you and the girlies?"
"What makes you think that the guys were voting for me?" Sans shot back, "Think you can walk and talk? I know a shortcut."
"Good point," John Dory said, "I can walk and talk."
"Cool." Sans holds out a hand.
"What?"
"Gotta hold my hand to take the shortcut."
John places his paw atop Sans hand and the grip the motion is received with is far too intense to be considered normal. But a shortcut is a shortcut, and he'll just have to take help to get around this universe until he can get home.
-/-/-/-
"Ketchup?"
"Yeah man, ketchup." Sans tossed a bottle to John Dory as he spoke, the Troll catching it with ease.
"You expect me to drink ketchup? I've had worse, but what about alcohol?" John asked.
"Bud," Sans began, "The bartender is a living flame, you really think he wants to be handling highly flammable stuff?"
"Fair point, but can you actually get drunk offa ketchup?" John asked, and he gave this slanted smirk as he spoke, partially leaning an elbow on the bar. He's gotten more comfortable after a week in Sans' hometown, he lives in the room under the sink in the skelebros household and made it his own until later notice.
Sans gives a hum, "Wanna find out?"
John grins before popping off the cap, "Try me."
-/-/-/-
"What do they put in this shit, Sans?" The words are spoken with a giggle and despite the ache in his head John Dory goes back for more.
"Tomatoes," Sans answered with, still slowly downing his first serving of ketchup.
"It's gotta be more than that, bonedaddy," John Dory purred, leaning a little bit more on the bar and resting his chin in his hands.
A distinct azure rises to Sans' face, "I think you've had too much ketchup."
"You meant it."
"What?"
"When we were in the lab, when you said I looked hot. You meant it, you like me," John deduced rather skillfully despite his inept state.
"And if I do?" Sans asked.
John pauses, "It'd be hot, Sans and John Dory double teaming the tourney."
"Alright, we should get home," Sans said, sliding off his bar stool and holding out a gloved hand.
John Dory took it and slid off his own stool, his tail wagged about lazily. His face is burning up and he looks oddly lovesick, a realization that Sans makes the choice to ignore until he can contemplate it late at night. Alone. In bed. By himself.
The Troll slinks an arm under Sans' shoulders, face resting atop the fluff of his hoodie and nuzzled into the collar of his turtleneck, he still clutches a hand tightly. He gives a contented hum, "Your jacket's soft."
"I know."
"You're soft."
"That's an odd thing to say considering I'm all bones."
"I'll show you bones."
"We really gotta get you home."
"And then?"
"And then you're going to sleep, no goodnight kiss."
-/-/-/-
Another week passes and Papyrus suddenly has to deal with the fact that Sans and John Dory are being overtly romantic.
"Your teeth are cold." John Dory would always say whenever he tried to kiss Sans.
"The girlies like it." Sans would always answer.
And sometimes John Dory would try again to get the usually snapped shut jaw open, or he'd say, "I guess I'm one of the girlies."
They'd laugh and after a small beat of silence continue on with their day.
Maybe it's selfish that Sans is keeping John Dory from a way back to his own universe, but he's pretty sure the Troll doesn't mind. He's stopped asking when he'll get to go back home at least, and Sans is benefiting from having someone around.
It makes the resets more tolerable if nothing else, and Sans just doesn't tell John about them. About the times he's watched everyone die and everyone live, he never speaks a word of it. And unless Frisk brings it up, he won't have to know of the amnesia or the violence.
And they can keep living their happily ever after.
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