how the FUCK do you draw her....im DEVESTATED

There is this YouTuber whose channel is called “swiftologist”. I find it very puzzling because even though he can be critical of TS (e.g, her billionaire status and how she got it), he is still supporting her financially and seems to genuinely love her as a person. I was curious about his perspectives on her latest album TTPD, especially on So Long, London (SLL) and But Daddy I Love Him (BDILH). But to my surprise, he is completely on board with everything.

For SLL, he has no problem with her airing out a person’s metal health information and making it about herself. Calling him a Turkey for being boring and bland. I was really baffled at how much hatred he has for this particular ex-boyfriend (Joe Alwyn) and I thought maybe JA did something bad that I wasn’t aware of. Turned out, he really hates JA because he think JA made his Queen suffered from boredom while she could have had so much fun given who she is. In the comment section, her fans are joking about how they expect cooked Turkey (Joe Alwyn) on the menu (TTPD) but they are served cooked Rat (Matty Healy) instead. It’s truly about her personal life (they call it Lore) more than her music to them.

In BDILH, he didn’t think it was about him because he didn’t call her out when she was dating the guy from 1975. He said OG fans “know” TS, so they knew the relationship wouldn’t last because Taylor would soon break up with that guy so they just let her have her funs while it lasted. But the new fans and the general public don’t “know” her so they make a big deal out of nothing, and dare to insinuate that a woman’s good name can be ruined by a man’s actions. First of all, unironically and proudly say you know a celebrity as a person is a clear sign of a parasocial relationship. He and another fan said that only people who “know” TS is capable of appreciate TTPD, very elitist of them in my opinion. Second of all, how can he (swiftologist) think a full-grown adult dating a racist is just a phase or fleeting fun is beyond me.

the first thing i thought of when i finished reading this ask is “is swiftologist white?” and then i checked and he’s white LOL

i find people who are like “i can be critical and acknowledge my fave’s problematic behavior/identity” and then go on to wholeheartedly support them are such clowns. you are only fooling yourself thinking you’re exercising critical thinking about your fave when you’re still going on to support them monetarily.

and it seems like swifties don’t even listen to her music for her music but for the “lore” (as you called it)? its so weird that they bond over their hatred for HER exes??? swiftdom is actually crazy because they are so deeply convinced they know this woman from her music and her overexposed relationships when people who have a normal detachment from this woman have legitimate critiques they interpret it as attacking their best friend without any plausibility. insanity

idgaf how much a celeb overshares about their life on social media or thru their music or thru interviews 99.9% you will never know them as human beings. you will never actually meet and befriend them and KNOW them. taylor swift has so thoroughly convinced her fanbase they do know her through her intentional lack of boundaries and cultivation of parasocial relationships that they will do anything to defend her.

“second of all, how can he…think dating a full blown racist as an adult is just a phase or fleeting fun is beyond me.”

it’s because he’s 1. white and 2. doesn’t impact him. this is near universal truth in standom but most ppl will find harm their faves caused to a more marginalized group negligible if the group isn’t them. and if you’re a swiftie, you still find that shit irrelevant even if it did directly impact you. this is what i mean about swifties being delusional in their politics because there is no way you can unironically yourself a leftist or feminist or ally and be a swiftie when youre simultaneously supporting a woman who is a racist white billionaire who weaponizes white female victimhood to attack people of color.

so yeah. fuck swiftologist and any other swiftie who identifies as anything further left than a moderate/neoliberal when ur supporting a women like taylor swift

unironically i started playing honkai seventeen days ago just for aventurine and I think I'm physically ill for this man. like gahhhh hes so silly. i have nearly 80 pulls thjat ive spent literally all my time grinding for, and I'm at 60 pity and I will literally kill someone if I lose the 50/50 .90% of gamblers quit before they hit jackpot and similarly 90% of Honkai Star Rail players quit before they win their 50/50. 90% of Honkai Star Rail players quit before they get E6 Aventurine. I need him so bad. Like I wouldn't be mad if I lost the 50/50 to like, Clara or something because I already have her from standard banner and I love her a lot, but if it were to literally anyone else I'd just start mauling people yk. I don't even know what that one kid's name is but he has blonde hair and swords and he's from the Xianzhou Luofu (not that far in the plotline, havent met him yet) but if I lose my 50/50 to that kid I might just die.

Listen I'm not his number one fan, I wouldn't daer to insinuate that I even am, I don't even want to like, fight people for that title. I just really like him and I wanted to thank you for all the Aventurine content that you've been churning out. I'm not sending this on main because I don't want to be clowned on but yeah this is. Really Unhinged. Sorry.

Also I like Dr. Ratio more honestly. I like them both equally but Aventurine isn't out yet so the only thing I'm staring at is Ratio. I have to run around as Clara (not a bad thing, I really like her!! She activates my parental instincts) because if I play as Ratio I will just stop doing whatever I'm doing and stare at him. It's been ruining my productivity.

listen to me. that blonde luofu kid has made me lose 4 times. if i see his ass a 5th time later today i’m going to start tearing the doors off people’s houses.

i didnt even realize how much aventurine stuff i was making until another ask mentioned it and i checked his tag and like half of the top posts were ALL MINE 😭 sneaky little blonde son of a bitch snuck up and took over my brain while i wasn’t paying attention. i have literally been having dreams about him. just 7 more hours now

i was actually messing with my ratio build earlier. he does ok i guess but he could be better… but i do have to admit i saw his design revealed like a year ago on reddit and i was like Oh my god?? like alright. slay i guess. and now i tell anyone who will listen that he’s a worm. what a weird guy… though i am a fan of his rubber ducky collection.

clara is who i got on the starter banner too ^_^ i wanna work on building her some more but im trying to build. every single character ever so its taking me a while to get back to her T_T

What did you think of the new Batman movie?

I frigging loved it. It's my favorite live-action take on the franchise by wide, wide margin.

Quick personal survey to establish my baseline tastes: I unironically love the original 1966 series starring Adam West because it's campy and happy and never fails to put a smile on my face and also Burt Ward was a babe and both he and West were much better actors than they've ever gotten credit for. (Did you know they almost gave Ward the lead role in The Graduate? Did you know they offered West James Bond? That is so wild to me.)

My opinion on the Burton/Shumacher movies from the 90s is meh, leaning positive overall. I dig the design sensibilities but most of the acting and storytelling didn't stick with me. I've never felt the urge to rewatch them but I also wouldn't say I dislike them. I mostly appreciate them as the starting point for the original animated series.

I wanna say that my opinion on the Dark Knight trilogy started positive and then turned sour as time went on but in retrospect I never actually bothered to watch the last one, and when I saw The Dark Knight for the first time it was in a double-feature showing with Hellboy II and I came away from that knowing without a doubt that Hellboy was the better movie so yeah. I will say that, while I think that they ultimately just slapped a Bat-branding on a completely unrelated story and characters, I respect that they gave the version of Batman they wrote the only ending that actually made sense for him.

And the less I say about anything that Zack Snyder has ever touched, the better -- that is a man who wouldn't know a good superhero story if it shoved itself down his throat.

But The Batman, oh man. I loved The Batman. I felt so seen by The Batman. I came away from that movie practically skipping with joy, I couldn't stop thinking, "Yes, finally! Somebody who gets it!" There was so much to love about that movie, I don't even know where to start.

I guess, since I was already thinking about it, one thing that I really like is how Riddler's games all feel almost like something from the Adam West show? But dark, and twisted. Like that "flying rat" pun in Spanish, and the other pun-based puzzles he left around, those were all very much like how they'd be done in the Adam West show, only these had the bloody plot twists attached to them. The "thumb drive" gag had me cackling.

But like, I also really loved how well thought out the themes were. Like, if you're paying attention, the movie explains without ever really spelling it out how the broken, corrupted system of Gotham City created both Batman and the Riddler. It's not "hrr durr the masked hero invites masked super-freaks to come along too," that's been done, it's "this system, this city, is corrupt and broken, and that broken system led two broken men to take extreme measures, one as a hero ultimately driven by the desire to make things better and one as a villain consumed only by hatred and revenge."

Heck, it even explains why Bruce couldn't just throw money at the problem, like all the disingenuous people on Twitter always try to argue -- his father tried that. And the broken system not only corrupted his well-meaning efforts, it killed him to protect its ill-gotten gains. That is such good writing.

Speaking of the Waynes, I also loved the deep lore cuts and, more specifically, how deliberately they were used to establish the differences in this world to the people who were paying attention. Making Martha an Arkham instead of a Kane? Tommy Elliot's father being the reporter who was going to ruin her, a reporter that Thomas Wayne inadvertently got killed? That's good stuff. I can't wait to see where they take it in the sequels.

But the best part of all, for me, was Bruce's character arc and the fact that finally, somebody understood the assignment and showed the arc that, I believe in my heart, every Batman needs: the moment, or arc, or story, or whatever it takes, that moves Bruce away from being motivated entirely by his love for his parents and into to being motivate by his love for Gotham City, his chosen family, and his comrades-in-arms.

So yeah. Suffice it to say, I loved it, I bought the bluray, and I hope very much that they actually talk Warner Brothers into letting them give Battinson a Robin in the next one because his interactions with the mayor's son throughout the movie were adorable and they didn't even talk. I need to see this man taking care of a child. I need it.

I’m already writing chapter 4 of In Spite Of Me but I decided to take a small break, so… in the meantime, here are some more Bee hcs!

🐝 She is mixed! She’s hispanic-american, her mother is white and indigenous and her father is half black. They both have hispanic roots, her mother was born in Colombia and moved to the US when she was a teenager; her father is of Puerto Rican descent but was born in america.

🐝 She is fluent in both english and spanish. She swears she can also speak Italian and French, but she truly can’t (despite having taken classes for both languages)

🐝 She’s the second youngest amongst four sisters. Her oldest sister, Vanessa, is 29. June is 27 and Luna is 17.

🐝 She is 5’9 and aprox 145-147 lbs.

🐝 She played basketball and volleyball in high school! She was pretty good at both sports.

🐝 She is crazy popular back at Farmsville. She won homecoming queen, winter formal queen, prom queen… safe to say, she’s used to being the most popular kid at school.

🐝 The main difference between her and Poppy was feared while Bee was liked by everyone.

🐝 She is SO bad with social media. She basically has no concept of how themes and aesthetics work. She used to post whatever she thought was cool until she met Zoey (she’s pretty much her social media manager now).

🐝Her secret talent is shotgunning beer. She also does an impressive keg stand. She’s basically the girl equivalent of a frat boy minus the sexist comments.

🐝That’s also why she gets along really well with the Alphas. Carter and her are actually pretty good friends.

🐝 She’s actually a pretty good singer, but she doesn’t like to say it. Her sisters and her used to sing together when they were children, so it’s somewhat special to her. She kept it a secret because she was a little scared of people in Belvoire finding out and somehow using it against her.

🐝 She can tolerate pretty much anything and take it as a joke, but she draws the line when people make fun of her family.

🐝 She is actually a mediocre driver. She’s strangely super lucky, and that’s the whole reason why she always finds good parking spots because she really can’t do parallel parking.

🐝 Zoey makes fun of her for her old people music taste. She mostly listens to 70s-80s music but she’s learning to branch out now that Zoey has forced convinced her.

🐝 Her handwriting is literally so messy! Zoey says it’s barely legible even though Bee swears it’s completely readable. *She* is a very messy person in general, her handwriting only reflects it.

🐝She bites her nails when she’s nervous. It completely ruins her new “hot & rich” look but she literally can’t stop doing it.

🐝She’s a huge horror movie fan. It doesn’t even have to be a good movie as long as its bloody enough. She especially loves 80s slasher films.

🐝Absolutely loves flirting and isn’t really used to being in committed relationships, but she isn’t the type to cheat. When she falls for someone, she falls hard.

🐝She can’t really do her own makeup unless she’s following some kind of tutorial or practiced the same look over and over again. She has basically no creativity when it comes to it.

🐝Not surprising at all, but she’s actually pretty strong. She can pick Poppy up easily and actually does it when she starts acting annoying. It’s her way of telling her “shut the hell up”.

🐝Unironically owns a shirt that says “fish fear me, women want me”.

🐝Big fan of caps and crop tops. If it were up to her, she wouldn’t wear anything else.

🐝Can be a little too cynical sometimes. Has a bit of a superior complex and is constantly judging people in her mind, but she’s never openly mean about it.

🐝Doesn’t know how to text without adding a bunch of cringey emojis. She’ll either sound like a middle aged mom or (again) a wannabe frat boy.

portal. go

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): i have two favorites perfectly tied but one of them has other opportunities for this meme so i will do the other one. chell. chell my beloved. nothing stops this woman. she survives the death trap of a facility that is aperture, twice. she can talk but she chooses not to out of pure spite. i know it’s a video game and giving up is counter productive but when her bad situation is the worst its ever been and she wakes up at the end of the miles-deep elevator shaft in the ruins of old aperture... she gets up. and she keeps going. “tenacious” is one of the few things we know about her, and i admire that so much. 

and after the ending, if anyone can make the best out of a post-combine world, it’s her. she’s free and she deserves that.

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): wheatley in the first half of the game is 100% my little scrunkly my little bastard orb my little fella that i balance on my face for as long as i can Without Fail Every Time when he pops off his stupid rail because he asked me to catch him but god dammit i have no available hands. he’s an idiot. he talks too much. he likes going thru the Funny Tubes in ch5. wheatley my friend wheatley from portal 2 2011 valve corporation :)

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): does doug rattmann qualify for this, the funny painter man living in the walls who you never actually meet but you see the remnants of him in his dens. he does so much actually and i think about him a lot. there are probably people who have played both games who don’t even know his name but it’s his spaces that contribute one of the best elements of the wrongness of aperture, and it’s amazing how you can feel so connected to him and appreciative of him and you literally never see the guy. if it weren’t for him chell wouldn’t have gotten out of the facility at all. i always get so wrapped up in the environment that when i find his spaces i have to Stop and think about him, look at them. appreciate the paintings even though they’re the same every time. sit n listen to exile, vilify, maybe cry a little.

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): the companion cube counts as a character and it counts for this category specifically because every time i get my hands on that thing my mood increases and i get legitimately excited over a metal box with a pink heart painted on it. it’s in a chamber that takes like, two minutes to complete if that, in each game. it has no dialogue. it sings if you get really close to it. iirc it’s existence is a parody and guess what, i’ve fallen for it. LOVE that box. i have The Box in real LIFE. LOVE that box. ... also the curiosity core. that lil dude is baby. i think it’s funny how you have to incinerate both of these characters

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): wheatley gets to go twice because of what he does in the second half of the game. he’s a little shit. stabs you right in the back and given that he was Made to be stupid, by god, is he. ... and yet. he’s too endearing. he’s the new Big Bad and he’s horrible at it. he’s just... stupid. really stupid. i Get what it’s like being set up to fail and i can’t help but feel sorry for him?? i wouldn’t unironically call myself a “wheatley apologist” he definitely did Bad Thing (Which Was Bad) but i find the concept of him getting a chance for redemption and taking it really interesting which is why i like Blue Sky so much. he is my problematic fav and absolutely a pathetic little dude as well but i want him to be happy. i’m gonna play basketball with him real quick before he gets to be though.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): this is the only prompt i got stuck on so you know what i’m putting All the cores into an actual plinko machine, even glados. except space core. space core has done nothing wrong, ever, in his life.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): cave johnson is going straight to hell just for what he did to caroline. she makes me sad, man. so naturally his Other Crimes makes him a perfect candidate for superhell.

What I Thought About "Knock Knock Knockin' on Hooty's Door" from The Owl House

Wow. They are really pushing it for that secret message, huh?

Anywho--Salutations, random people on the internet who certainly won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons!

I think it goes without saying at this point that Season Two of The Owl House is setting itself up as a season without filler. Now, filler episodes aren't always bad. Yes, it hurts when a series turns away from the main plot for a week. But at best, they're utilized as a chance for the writers to play around with the characters and developing said characters without it relating to the overarching story. So, some people who see that consider it a bad thing that a series doesn't have that many filler episodes.

I like to call those people: F**king morons.

Don't get me wrong, I see where some of you are coming from. And I'd be willing to agree...if The Owl House was a plot-driven series. Which it's not. It is a character-driven series. Because for every plot thread and narrative that the show presents, they always relate to the characters and develop them further each time these threads get brought up. For example, look at "Knock Knock Knockin’ on Hooty's Door" (It pains me just to write that). Several narratives move forward, and it’s all done to make the characters grow. And to explain how requires going into spoilers. So keep that in mind as you continue reading.

Now, let's review, shall we?

WHAT I LIKED

Hooty: Might as well start with the character that this episode is about.

To tell you the truth, I wasn't a huge fan when I found out we're getting a Hooty-centered episode. I've grown to love him over time, but he is a comedic character that's best used in small doses. Primarily due to how his voice is grating to me (My ears are still bleeding...). With that said, I do really love his contributions in "Knock Knock Knockin' on Hooty's Door" (Seriously, there couldn't have been a less awkward title?). Hooty's antics when trying to help everyone are as hilarious as they are heartwarming. He deeply cares for his friends but just doesn't understand how his plans could do some unintended harm, which is pretty lovable if you ask me. We also get some surprisingly great insight into his character, as he feels insecure about basically being the comic relief who doesn't really do that much other than being funny. Rarely do you get that level of dimension from a comedic character, and it's even more uncommon for that to work out as well as it does here. It once again proves just how competent the writing is in this series to the point where we get an episode about Hooty, and it's funny and heartwarming instead of being annoying. And whoever is responsible for that, you're the best.

Lilith’s Letter to Hooty: I mean it when I say that I love how Lilith kept her word about her and Hooty becoming penpals. Their friendship was something I would have never expected to love, and I'm still shocked that it works so well, so seeing it continue like this just warms me to the bone. Plus, it is pretty sweet that Lilith's kind words are what inspired Hooty to do what he's done in this episode...meaning it's Lilith we should thank here--SON OF A WITCH! Even when she's gone, she's still working her way into my heart!

King going through Puberty: What?! KING IS EVOLVING!

(There, I made a Pokemon reference. Do I get my cookie now?)

Eda Keeping Herself Awake to Train Herself: I'm willing to bet a large sum of money that this has everything to with Raine getting captured last week. If Eda was still the most powerful witch in the Isles, she might have actually saved them. But she isn't, and now the love of her life is in the clutches of a tyrant planning something that could potentially be the end of everything. So I can understand Eda pushing herself to her limit to get back on top again, as I would probably do the same. It's not healthy in any way, and Eda would be doing more harm than good. But when it comes to the people you love, logic doesn't always win out in the end.

Luz Wanting to Make her Way into Amity’s Heart by Making the Echo Mouse Happy: ...That's it. I Just...I just love everything about it, ok?

This was also when I knew that I was wrong to doubt that there would be zero Lumity in this episode. I realize my follies now, and I humbly apologize.

Hooty Teaching King About Demons: This was so funny. So, so funny. Probably doesn't come as a surprise, especially since The Owl House proves itself as a comedy before, but the jokes have never hit as frequently and as hard as they did here. From Hooty getting offended by King's dance to him and Dana's insert wanting a "DNA sample," everything managed to successfully make me lose my s**t. It does come at the expense of King suffering, but I can stomach that much more than if it were Eda or Luz. And, as a bonus, we get lore about how demons work, added with another great joke of King getting in trouble with Hooty for saying he already knows this stuff. Humor isn't always the show's strong suit, but when it works, it f**king works.

King Wanting to Know What he Is: But despite how funny King's vignette was, we still get to see more of his character grow. We learn that he's frustrated now that there's this big question mark over his life now, feeling extra angry that his father "abandoned" him to leave such a present mystery. It shows the hidden resentment he has that Lilith inadvertently brought out, made even worse when King's father hasn't responded to the video yet. King hasn't really gotten that much development until "Echoes of the Past," so it's pretty cool that the writers haven't really slowed down on it. Especially when it leads to these great moments of King venting his frustrations.

King’s Shouting Powers: KING learned FUS RO DAH!

(And now that's a Pokemon reference AND a Skyrim reference. WHERE'S MY GOSH DANG COOKIE!?)

Eda’s Nightmare: If King's vignette hits you hard with the laughs, Eda's will absolutely hit you harder with the feels (never make me say "feels" unironically again). Knowing that Eda's life got thoroughly screwed over by the curse is something we could figure out on her own. But seeing just how much the curse ruined her life and tore apart relationships that mean the world to her really does a swell job at ripping apart the soul. What's even more tragic is, technically speaking, it's all sort of Eda's fault too. She kept hiding the curse, refusing to be a burden to others who would do all they could to help. If she had only been open and honest, things probably wouldn't have changed much, but they most likely would have been better than they are now.

Eda Attacked her Father as the Owl Beast: ...I don't know what I was expecting when "Keeping Up A-Fear-Ances" hinted that there was some possible tension between Eda and her father...but it definitely wasn't this.

The fact that we see blood where his eye used to be doesn't make things any happier, either.

Raine Broke Up with Eda: Before we get into anything else, let's celebrate the fact that it's now confirmed that Eda and Raine really did use to date in the past. Because this show is just f**king phenomenal with its LGBTQA+ representation!

But, seriously, this is a fantastic reveal that goes far beyond just shipping...well, sort of. It shines a new light on Eda and Raine's interactions from last week, revealing that while they're not a couple anymore, they still very much love each other. It helps make their last interaction especially tragic, as they were both on the same page now and could very well be together again. Only for them to be forced apart for the second time in a way that's much worse than the first. And I frickin' adore that this series changes the impact of one episode one week later. Again, it shows just how competent these writers are, and kudos to them for making something so...perfect.

The Moon Person: WHO THE FU--Nope. Nope! We have more than enough mystery bulls**t to deal with through CreepyLuz and Philip Wittebane, so I am PUTTING YOU ON THE BACKBURNER FOR NOW!

(They're probably nothing more than a one-off character, anyway)

The Owl Beast and Eda are Connected: Through visuals alone, we, the audience, can clue into what the curse really means. The Owl Beast doesn't want to be a part of Eda as much as she doesn't want it to be a part of her. Whether they like it or not, and they very much don't, they're stuck together. The thing is, and this is what I love the most, they still decide to make the best of their situation rather than let it ruin their lives even more. This might be the best possible turn Eda's curse could have made. It'll still affect her, and there are probably more negatives than positives, but at least now, it's not the worst thing in the world. And I feel like that's all anyone can ask when in a position like her own.

Eda's “Pretty Dream”: I don't know what emotions are toiling inside me more with this moment. Awe and wonder over how beautiful Eda's dream is, or heartbreak over the implication that she has only had nightmares since getting cursed...I'm gonna say both. Yeah, it's definitely both.

Eda’s Harpie Form: Well, fan artists are gonna have a field day with this...especially the freaks.

(You know who you are. And you're weird!)

Luz Calling Amity a “Cotton-Candy Haired Goddess”: ...Have I ever mentioned how much I love this show?

Hooty Kidnapped Amity: ...Hooty, if your stupidity wasn't charming, I would be more than willing to call the authorities over how you kidnapped a girl in your version of a knapsack and locked her in the basement. For that is going to ring SO MANY alarm bells in people's heads.

Amity and Luz Stuck in a Tunnel of Love: *Smacks lips* Mmm. The adorable awkwardness of this moment is just *chef's kiss* magnifique!

Luz being afraid of getting made fun of:

Amity’s look of hope: I mean...just...f**king--LOOK AT HER:

That is the look of a girl who, while embarrassed as hell, still is ecstatic to learn for a brief moment, everything that she is hoping for has a high chance of being real. Who, in their right mind, wouldn't go "Aw!" at something so pure and innocent?!

Luz Destroying the Tunnel of Love: This is how to effectively utilize dramatic irony. The audience can understand why Luz is tearing the place apart because she explicitly states that she's afraid of Amity rejecting her in the end. They also know that's bogus, thus making it extra painful to watch Amity's heart break more and more with each second (which is perfectly represented through Amity's expressions). You feel bad for both of them, and even worse when you know that it can easily be prevented by the simple art of communication. That's what makes it great dramatic irony. Knowing the point of view of each character results in a scene that evokes emotions in two different ways.

Hooty’s Breakdown: This was...genuinely hard to watch. Not that it was badly written, far from it. It just...hurt seeing how destroyed Hooty was when he realized he failed the people he has such an admiration for. On the upside, a wholesome moment follows soon after as the Owl House gang tries to reassure Hooty that he's done a lot of good that night. It's a pure action that shows even though Hooty gets on their nerves all the time, they still care about him...damn it. I think I'm gonna cry.

Eda’s Advice for Luz: ...Eda...You're the best.

You found out that your surrogate daughter wants to ask a girl out, and not only were you quick to deliver the best possible advice ("Just go for it!"), but you also quickly reassure her that it doesn't need to be perfect.

And you know what? That's it. Eda is the best cartoon mom! She might not technically be Luz's mom, but I don't give a s**t because she is the best!

Luz and Amity Ask Each Other Out: Shh-sh-sh-sh...

Do you hear that?

...

...

...It's the sound of dozens of Lumity fans collectively losing their s**t...and I'm one of them.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!

IT!

IS!

CANON!

AH-HAHAHAHAHA!

HOLY S**T! Holy s**t! Holy s**t...might just be the best way I could possibly describe this! Finally, after all the waiting, speculating, and praying, THESE TWO IDIOTS FINALLY GOT TOGETHER! AND IT WAS PERFECT! I mean, it was awkward as s**t, but that's what makes it perfect! You know why? You wanna--Hey! *snaps fingers*. You want to know why? It's because they're teenagers. Of f**king course, it's going to be awkward! This is their first relationship, so there will be a lot of missteps along the way. And that, in itself, brings me to the best (second best part?) thing about it happening in episode eight of the new seasons. Most endgame couples get together in the climax or even at the end of the series. But to have them get together this early on, means there will be quite a few episodes dedicated to showing them grow as a couple.

And better than that--EVEN F**KING BETTER THAN THAT--dozens of kids are going to see these two, a realistic depiction of young love that just so happens to involve two girls, and are going to learn once and for all that there is nothing wrong with being who they are. That fact alone is f**king incredible. Yes, it sucks that season three got cut short, and we'll have even less time with Luz and Amity, but knowing how many kids have felt seen today almost makes it worth it in the end.

And if I see one mother f**ker saying this was poorly paced, I might just hunt them down for SPORT...Sorry if that was an overreaction. I'M JUST SO HAPPY! Because they're happy! Look at them. Listen to them! It's so...GAH-HAHAHA!

“They’re adorable! And deserve all the happiness!”: You're darn right, Hooty! You're darn right.

King’s Father(?) Shows Up: What the--WHAT?! They're doing this now?! Here?! After everything else?

Oh, man. What could this mean? What dynamic changes will this cause in the main cast? How could the writers fit this in during the next two episodes? And what--

Hooty Eats the Letter: ...Pfffft--HAHAHAHA!

Oh, man...I should be mad, and I wouldn't blame others if they are...but that is too much of a brilliant f**k you that I can't help but appreciate it. Bravo writers. Bravo.

WHAT I DISLIKED

...Dislikes? Dislikes? You would honestly believe that after everything I witnessed in this episode, that I would have the gull to list anything wrong with it?!

HOW DARE YOU ASSUME THAT I WOULD BE SO CALLUS TO--Actually, I do kind of have an issue with the episode's title. It's just too much of an awkward mouthful for me to get behind. I understand that the writers wanted to sneak the K into the secret message, but were there really no other titles starting with K that they couldn't come up with?

But that's just a personal issue, and in no way do I think anybody else would feel the same way. Especially with how well-written everything else is anyway.

IN CONCLUSION

"Knock Knock Knockin' on Hooty's Door" (title aside) is another A+ episode. It was hilarious, heart-wrenching, and downright adorable while keeping me entertained with every minute. I'm sure there are some issues I was willing to ignore due to how expertly written everything else was, but why bother looking for the chinks in the armor when I could just enjoy a perfect episode for being so...perfect! Some of you might be willing to disagree with me, but to that, I say: Don't knock it till you've tried it.

(Now, if you don't excuse me, I'm going to go lie down. It's...It's been a day.)

Yup, Sure Was a Finale

I had an epiphany. The reason why I never re-watched the final two parts of Sozin’s Comet even though I’ve popped in episodes at random many times over the years isn’t that I can’t bear the sadness of seeing one of the best, most engaging narratives out there come to an end.

It’s simply that the finale isn’t all that good.

Some honorable mentions of what was enjoyable.

(+) This

Just this.

(+) The Church of Zutara has another convert

“Are you sure they don’t get together?” Hubster, 2020

(+) The tragedy of Azula

And the fact that it’s acknowledged as such. I hope Zuko will do his best to get her help and have a relationship with her…

(+) Sokka being a big bro

And the whole airship sequence in general. It’s wonderfully paced and plotted, with moments of humor, real stakes, Toph being both badass and a scared crying kid, Sokka strategizing and protecting, Suki saving the day, and non-benders being instrumental in thwarting the bad guy firebender’s plans. Would be shame if Bryke never portrayed them this capable ever again…

And now for the main course.

(-) Blink and its over

The wrap-up feels too quick (hashtag Needs More ROtK-style False Endings). A part of this is due to how fast the story goes from the thick of the action to hastily tying up a bunch of loose ends, but the larger issue is how Book 3’s uneven pacing comes home to roost. After spending half a season on filler episodes that at best subtly flesh out established characters while dancing around a huge lionturtle-shaped hole, and at worst contradict the theme of “no one is born bad” with “you’re a hot mess because your great-grandfathers didn’t get along too well”, the frantic “go go go” rush of the second half screeches to a halt with “they won and everyone was happy because now the right people have power and it will be all good from now on yup nothing more to deal with baiiiii”.

Yes, I know, it’s a kids’ show. But goddamn, this particular kids’ show has proven so many times it can do better than the expected tropiness. Showing the characters in their roles as builders of a new world was the least that could have been done.

Oh well!

(-) Ursa

We’ll never know. There will never be a story that delves into this. Yup. Shall forever remain but an intriguing mystery. Is good, though. Mystery is better than a story where Ursa shares her son’s penchant for forgetfulness. Imagine how embarrassing that would be. Speaking of which…

(-) What does Mai see in this jerkbender?

Look, I like to harp a lot on the mess of inconsistent writing that’s Mai but let’s unpack this scene from her perspective, shall we?

Zuko forgot about her! It totally slipped his mind that the one person who prioritized the safety of his dumb ass was rotting in the worst prison in the Fire Nation—because of him! And she was rotting there long enough after the final Agni Kai for the news of Zuko’s upcoming coronation to spread and her uncle to feel sufficiently secure to release her. But then the coronation scene is attended by every single member of Gaang & Friends that was imprisoned?

So what this tells me is that either a) the invasion force had the ability to break themselves out the whole time and for some reason decided not to exercise it until after the war was over, b) Zuko forgot about them as well and no one thought to remind him there were prisons full of POWs until Mai arrived, or, and that’s even better, c) Zuko took care to free every single resistance fighter while making sure Mai would be the one to stay behind bars.

Never thought I’d say this but Mai? Honey? You deserve so much better.

(-) “What does Katara want?”

Asked no one in the writers’ room ever, apparently.

This is not so much anti Cataang as anti romance stories that pay attention to the needs, opinions, and wants of only one partner in general. Over the previous 60 episodes, Katara actively expressed romantic interest in Aang exactly, wait for it,

Once.

And it got retconned out of relevance by the following two interactions where the possibility of a romantic relationship came up, making the Headband dance pretty easy to reclassify as just one of those examples where Aang “teaches” Katara to have fun (as if one of the main obstacles to her having fun wasn’t him constantly fooling around and offloading his duties). And because the writers not only didn’t succeed in portraying Katara’s internal state of mind, but also failed to root her reluctance to pursue a relationship in outside circumstances that could change, her sudden state of unconfused once Aang steps into the spotlight has a single canonical explanation that as much as approaches coherency.

The fact is, though, that trying to interpret canon Cataang from a Watsonian perspective is an exercise in foolishness. Because there is no Watsonian justification for the ship and never has been. Bryke simply conceived of Katara as nothing but a tropey prize for Aang, never saw her as anything beyond that, and were perfectly happy to go on and immortalize her as a passive broodmare for the rest of her life.

And I fully intend to die mad about it.

(-) Iroh dips

OK, it’s been long apparent that the show doesn’t intend to do anything about Iroh’s complicity in AzulOzai’s regime in any meaningful way, and that his sole motivation for doing anything whatsoever is Zuko whom he views as a replacement son which is supposed to be good for some reason. But the finale has him abandon even that, and instead turns him full-on YOLO, idgaf anymore. It really throws Iroh’s supposed love for Zuko into doubt when his last act in the entire show is to take a half-educated 16-year old with no political savvy or an heir to secure a dynastic continuity and plomp him on the throne of a war-mongering imperialist regime where the entirety of the militarist and ruling class is guaranteed to fight him tooth and nail for power.

(I sure hope Mai’s ready to start popping out babies by tea-time otherwise the whole country is fukd in about a week)

Christ, how hard would it be to have Iroh keep the throne warm for a few years while Zuko is getting ready to succeed him? Not only would it make the whole FN reformation bit quite likelier to occur, it would require Iroh’s hedonistic ass to actually sacrifice something for once. And not having Zuko ascend to power, instead spending some time bettering and educating himself first, would be a wonderful message that no matter what you endured and overcame, you never stop growing. A kids’ show, remember?

(-) The conquering of Ba Sing Se

Gee, I feel so blessed to have my attention diverted from battlefields which actually matter to an old dude vanity project I would have been perfectly happy to assume resolved itself off-screen.

The White Lotus in general just bugs me. I was fine with the individual characters and their overall passivity when they were portrayed as lone dissenters living under circumstances where it wasn’t really possible for any single person to mount a meaningful resistance. But as members of a far-reaching shadowy organization that’s left the real fight to a bunch of kids for 59 episodes straight and didn’t turn up until a perfect opportunity presented itself to take control of the largest city in the world and bask in the spotlight?

Yeah, no.

Similarly to the lionturtle-ex-machina, the White Lotus represents a huge missed opportunity for a season-long storytelling. Here’s just a brief list of what they could have been doing throughout Book 3:

orchestrating a Fire Nation uprising;

gathering those directly persecuted by AzulOzai’s regime to help Zuko keep his hold on power once he’s crowned;

establishing themselves as a viable alternative to Ozai;

sabotaging Fire Nation’s war efforts from the inside;

countering Fire Nation propaganda (Asha Greyjoy’s pinecones, anyone?);

running a supply network to alleviate the suffering of Earth Kingdom citizens.

Instead, they sit on their asses until the time comes to claim personal glory.

You know what, good on Bryke for making me conclude that in comparison, the Freedom Fighters were perfectly unproblematic, actually.

(-) Fire Lord Dead-by-Dawn

Yes, a kids’ show, I know! But ffs, this is the same kids’ show that came up with Long Feng and portrayed courtly intrigue, kingly puppets, secret police, spy networks, and information wars. Was it really too much of me to expect something other than “enlightened despot solves everything”? Especially if said enlightened despot has persisting anger issues, no personal support system, no base of followers, and no political experience whatsoever?

If Zuko’s actually serious about regaining the Fire Nation’s honor (i.e. by dismantling the country’s military machine, decolonizing the Earth Kingdom, paying reparations to everyone and their lemur, and funding any and all cultural restoration projects Aang and the SWT come up with), then there is no way, no way in the universe that he doesn’t face a civil war, deposing, and execution within a month.

One reason why his future as a Fire Lord seems rather bleak is that little’s been shown about the actual subjects of AzulOzai’s regime. While we get a vague reassurance that “no Toph, they’re not born bad” (le shockings), they largely remain a voiceless uniform mass of brainwashed clapping seals. What is their view on the Fire Nation’s crimes? Do they associate their condition with their country’s war-mongering? How will they react when Zuko starts dismantling the country piece by piece to rebuild it, bringing it to economic ruin? What will they do when noble Ozai loyalists come out of the woodwork and begin rounding them up under the banner of “Make the Fire Nation Great Again?”

I have no idea, and Zuko doesn’t either because he’s unironically more qualified to rule the Earth Kingdom than his own people.

You know what would have been better? Fire Lord Iroh, White Lotus pulling the strings to maintain the regime, and Crown Prince/People’s Champion Zuko travelling the Fire Nation with Aang and an army of tutors to promote the new boss, only to realize that absolute monarchy is kinda crap for the people he’s one day supposed to rule and gaining their support by ceding some power to them.

I’d laser holes into my TV due to how much I’d enjoy watching that.

(-) All hail Avatar Rock

Literally and metaphorically. Aang doesn’t sacrifice anything, gets everything, and the clever solution of going about getting said everything is handed to him on a silver platter, requiring no active participation on his part whatsoever.

He doesn’t work to unblock his chakras, spiritually or physically.

He only speaks to his past lives to get a pat on the back and a bow-tied solution he could mindlessly follow.

Energy-bending doesn’t require any sacrifice from him, leaves no lasting marks, and only serves for the narrative to praise him as the rare individual that’s unbendable and thus so very very special.

The most infuriating thing is, however, that Aang is clearly shown as being able to beat Ozai without either the Avatar state, or energy-bending.

And he chooses not to. From this moment on, Aang no longer fights to save the world. He fights to preserve his beliefs, going directly against the instructions of his past lives and effectively reneging on his duties as the Avatar.

Again.

It’s not like you can’t portray Aang’s faithfulness to his spiritual beliefs as the key to beating Ozai and saving the world. But that’s not what the show did. There is no link between Aang sparing Ozai and securing a better future, quite to the contrary—Ozai’s survival ends up being a massive problem for the continuation of Zuko’s rule, and consequently a threat to the world at large. His survival benefits Aang and no one else.

Aang’s spiritual purity and his status as a savior of the world are allowed to coexist only due to a deliberate stroke of a writer’s pen.

And I hate it.

Welp, nothing to do about it now except to bury myself up to my tits in fix-it fics I guess.

probably unpopular confession: Atots wasn't "ruined" for me in part 3 but I did jump ship 💀 I wasn't very serious about it but they way everyone except longtae treated tian bothered me so much? I kept thinking "now they're gonna fix this" and then they didn't and I was like "damn my boy tian deserves way better"

and then the ending that was so confusing to me??? Maybe at that point I mentally clocked off already because I was so annoyed but I started unironically shipping Tian and Longtae because he was like the only one to actually hear him out? It didn't ruin the show or the Tian/Phupha ship for me because they were really great up until that point but boy did I secretly hope for a twist where he ends up with Longtae.

I was still content after finishing the show though because overall it was good and cute and very wholesome and exactly the type of show I needed at the time I was watching it. However the conflict and end is probably what keeps me from saying it was one of my favourites because I geniuenly stopped rooting for the main couple 🙈

But yeah the way 2gether went was imo way worse than atots and I also have thoughts™ about still2gether as well so I'm happy to discover we don't just agree about Bad Buddy things but also have similair opinions on these two BL's

i do understand, where you are coming from with atots, but i'm sorry to say tjhat i ultimately disagree. torfun was phupa's best friend and she was really loved by the rest of the community, so when tian told everyone that he was responsible for her death, of course they'd react like that. i don't think it would be appropriate for them to react in any other way. i think this is the impression a lot of people got, because we were in tian's pov the whole time and it was hard to handle the reaction from that side, but frankly if someone told me that they were in any way responsible for my best friend's death, i would react far worse than phupa did, and - putting my earth pirapat bias aside - i do genuinely still think that his character's actions were understandable.

as for 2gether, i do think it's the only series that entirely ruined itself with its ending (game of thrones and how i met your mother level, if i am allowed to make such a reference), and though still2gether fixed a lot of sarawatine issues, it was almost too little too late, and also had a hard time trying to balance being a comedy and being a romance, and many problems with its side couples, so i can't fully enjoy it either.

i (re)watched all the movies in the halloween franchise and these are my THOUGHTS

pretty sure i saw MOST of them during my initial horror phase way back when but in light of my recent re-obsession i had to dive back in...

ranking from best to worst:

1. halloween (1978) 2. halloween kills 3. halloween 5 4. halloween 2 (1981) 5. halloween (2018) 6. halloween h20 7. halloween 4 8. halloween resurrection 9. halloween 6 10-11. the rob zombies get shared last place

HALLOWEEN (1978):

i do subscribe to the theory that the original is always the best but there are times i do like sequels better so my bias towards this movie is sincere i promise.  everything is perfect, from the setting to the soundtrack to the pacing, michael myers is portrayed in this particularly charming way that is never quite fully replicated in any of the following movies. he has an air of complete mystery about him while also possessing plenty of endearing quirks. the cast of supporting characters is great also, and i love that it manages to stay classy and not rely on gore and shock imagery which is also something all the following movies failed to do. truly great.

HALLOWEEN 2 (1981): this is pretty much just the "basic" sequel, playing it safe, and straying into more slasher cliches than its predecessor. it's not a bad movie though and i do enjoy it. michael kept some of his quirkiness but it is fairly noticeable that his charm and quirks are not quite there.

HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS (1988):

this one bored me a bit tbh, i'm not terribly fond of the michael myers family plot and all the drama was kinda boring, and also michael's new mask looks like a dollar store knockoff. not to mention laurie unceremoniously getting killed off off-screen. i honestly feel like i need to rewatch it in order to find more to say about it cuz it was just that forgettable but screw that. we're moving on to......

HALLOWEEN 5: THE REVENGE OF MICHAEL MYERS (1989):

what is he getting revenge for? we just don't know! as foolish as i find the jamie and thorn storylines i ended up loving halloween 5 SO much. like when it opens with michael floating down a river you KNOW you're in for a wild ride. it overflows with 80s aesthetic and campiness and i swear they even inserted actual cartoon sound effects in some scenes. michael myers still looks like a total mess throughout the movie but honestly, for this movie and only this movie, it fits. i also did not mind him showing emotion at some point because i don't actually hate michael showing emotion in itself, i hate it when it is done wrong, and in this movie it was done right, like it did not de-mystify him or take away anything at all. or MAYBE it was just that it added to the overall goofiness of this movie that ended up being so gosh darned charming but whatever it was it was great actually.

halloween movies really haven't been the same since donald pleasence passed cuz he always gave them his 110% sincerity, like?? it’s like he was unironically going for the oscars even in these trashy sequels. his theatrics were especially noticeable in halloween 5 where his character got to interact with tina williams who is the wackiest halloween character ever and my new queen. like you know i'm mostly into halloween because i love the michael myers character but i also LIVE for the scenes with loomis and tina. that fricking contrast. omfg. absolute cinema gold. #addtinawilliamstodeadbydaylight2022

HALLOWEEN 6: THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS (1995):

oh boy i really did not like this one. after all that build-up with jamie, they kill her off almost as anticlimactically as laurie, and the rest of the movie is saddled with her child and i just can't deal with it. i find babies so incredibly grating that they're enough to ruin an entire movie for me tbh BUT to be fair this movie also focuses on the thorn plot which i also cannot stand. it really just demystifies michael and does not do the character justice. the producers cut was absolutely demented and while the finalized version makes it a bit more tolerable it's not by a huge margin.

HALLOWEEN H20: 20 YEARS LATER (1998):

rejoice for laurie is back and also the jamie and thorn storylines have been discarded! YAY! unfortunately this movie is pretty dull and focuses more on school life drama, complete with a cast of forgettable teens who would be better fit for “scream”, than michael, and also this is michael's ugliest mask yet. the chase scene among the tables toward the end was fun cuz i was like "hehheh that reminds me of how i used to play with my dog". also the whole thing with how the retconning of this movie's ending was planned? that's just bad movie making. but maybe that's just my opinion.

HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION (2002):

so this was SUPPOSED to be a follow-up of the previous movie but the first scene concludes that plotline and laurie and her son are never seen or heard from or relevant again. um... ok. what we get instead is an absolutely insufferable cast of shallow teens with zero redeeming qualities as characters, and michael still has that ugly mask. at least this movie gets the "most creative premise" award i GUESS??? it seems like michael would have a really good time in this setup but he just seemed kind of annoyed throughout the whole movie lmao.

ROB ZOMBIE REMAKES (2007-2008):

i just don't feel like talking about these separately because i hated them SO much!!! before watching all of these movies i read some behind the scenes stuff to get the context of them all, and i actually got hopeful that these remakes wouldn't be as bad as i feared because rob zombie seemed genuinely respectful in how he went about to make the movies (later edit: i ok i caught up with what john carpenter had to say regarding the remakes so scratch the “respectful” part LMAO honestly i could go for an hour long rant about what a douchebag rz allegedly is but that would mean spending more time on rz)... but yeah only a few minutes into the movies i already hated them. look. i like emotional slashers with tragic backstories, but it's not michael. rob zombie might as well have made his own story instead of messing with michael's. like you cannot make a prequel to halloween because it would just be some random ass family’s home videos. there was nothing remarkable about them and nothing in michael’s past that could be singled out as his breaking point and that..... is the point?? yeah??? so yeah i basically really hated how michael was turned into an emo kid and laurie into an edgy bitch lmao like this is LAURIE and the first thing she does walking onto the scene is making some crude joke. COME ON. also it was WAY too graphic and gory and gritty which, again, misses the point and charm of the original. come the frick on.

HALLOWEEN (2018):

perhaps the first movie in a long line of sequels and remakes that i feel like genuinely understood and respected its source material, we are now in the brand new timeline that erases ALL the previous movies except the original. this movie is not one of my favs cuz it focuses more on family drama and michael isn't even in it that much, but it is well made and the story is good, even though it does make a few questionable choices i will not go into cuz whatever.

HALLOWEEN KILLS (2021):

my favorite halloween sequel baby!!!!!!!! i saw this in theaters 8 times! it is a BLAST. it was THE movie that single handedly slam dunked me right back into the horror genre. it shows incredible expertise and appreciation of the original 1978 movie. the 1978 flashbacks are amazing. both the flashback and current masks look fantastic. it is so competent, yet it's not afraid to be fun and campy and honestly michael looks like he's having a BLAST in this movie. they really brought back his charm and quirks and showcase them to the fullest, and a lot of the characters they introduce are fun. LOVE this movie. the perfect sequel. other movies planning to get sequels take note. also my opinion is final and do not listen to critics. this movie is THE BOMB!!!!! (also did you know the movie they’re watching in the scene with the drone is “the funhouse”. it does not really have anything to do with anything but i just think it’s neat cuz it’s probably my fav horror movie BESIDES the halloweens.)

spiderfam headcanons bc i think abt these guys too much

in my defense of team a having barely any information team b have like 5 minutes screentime altogether so ive spent a lot of time coming up with useless shit about them

miles - “who’s [name]” is a huge meme in the spidergang. miles made a mistake sharing this anecdote.  - keeps a rocking spiderman journal. there are several pages dedicated to each of the spiderpeople rendered in street art style.  - on that note. provides lessons in the art of street art to them. noir and peni take to it very quickly.  - hopelessly in love with ganke

peter b - 100% listens to taylor swift. shake it off is his favourite song.  - loves painting but is what you would call “awful” at it - is literally the only person who doesn’t get the Edgy Youth Humour

gwen - bonds with peter b over taylor swift - after the whole dimension issue is sorted and they can hang out she spends like 2 months avoiding everyone except miles and peni because losing her peter is pretty recent in her dimension - has two cats; simone and elize

noir - “the dark spider seems to be barely keeping a lid on an astounding case of ptsd” lmao same - actually pretty technologically adept once he gets the hang of it. never uses emojis.  - adopts a cat at some point. her name is ginger after ginger rogers.  - bookworm. gets cool modern books from the gang. - peter b enlists the help of everyone else to annoy him until he agrees to see a therapist in his dimension - he keeps a journal of the good things he sees happen in his dimension at the therapist’s + ham’s encouragement - sketches a lot. mostly in b&w but he’s good w/ colour too.  - definitely punched a nazi in miles’ dimension.  - helps miles & ganke w/ activism in their dimension.  - rlly likes sunsets - notoriously bad at answering direct messages. will talk in the groupchat for hours but will not answer dms for 3 days - fred astaire stan

peni - lots of exclamation marks !!!!! - vegetarian which is stolen directly from the sp//dr comics but its important to me ok - hugs everyone. vv affectionate.  - was definitely the one to figure out how to safely jump dimensions - wanted to give noir modern music so she rigged up lil phone things that connect to each dimension so they can chat + other cool stuff - loves painting. unlike peter b, is actually very good at it - adores the aunt may of miles’ universe and bonds with miles’ parents when they eventually meet - made specific music playlists for everyone - hates being given orders. very much a free spirit - she and miles have a special bond over their origin story losses. - provides the spidergang with fun future foods and spicy future memes

ham - a fucking meme. may surpass miles in his meme knowledge.  - music taste is all over the place. sometimes it’s intense rock, sometimes it’s soft acoustic songs. he has no chill. - actually that gets a point of its own. he has no chill.  - paints noir’s apartment in rainbow colours whenever he’s Depressed™️. soon enough the entire gang is involved - has a deal w/ noir that if either of them are having Nightmare Troubles they should go kick some crimelord’s ass together as a distraction (i say this specifically bc the image of some edgy spidernoir villain getting their ass kicked by a colorful cartoon pig is incredible) - truth or dare king. undefeated.  - ham, unironically: so my spidersona - can you imagine this movie has ruined me so much that i look at a cartoon pig spiderman and think “i would die for him. if anything happened to him i would kill god.”

haikyuu!! characters and their fave musicals

pretty much an hc’s for funsies type of thing. which characters are absolute nerds for musicals and which ones couldn’t care less? i know not everyone likes musicals but if this is your thing, feel free to read! 

Hinata: he’s one of those people who watched Shrek the Musical unironically and ended up getting really hooked on it but no way is he going to tell anyone

Kageyama: thinks that the Shrek trilogy are counted as movie musicals because ‘the characters sing and everything’. will fall asleep in a theatre so don’t bring him you’ll be disappointed

Tsukishima: loves Avenue Q and The Producers because the humor is right up his alley. also has tASTE and his fave is probs something like Hadestown because it is the best musical. loves to break down the lyrics and listens to an album non-stop when he’s obsessed

Yamaguchi: he tried to watch Grease but ended up throwing popcorn at the tv-screen because of the blatant sexism. yams is not About That. gets his recommendations from Tsukki and has never looked back

Tanaka: likes anything with awesome choreography and really cool special-effects like Hamilton or Be More Chill. when you ask him about the story though he’s like ???

Noya: doesn’t get the concept of musicals. ‘she’s singing about the guy but he’s right there??? doesn’t he hear everything????’ ‘WHY ARE THEY SINGING JUST FIGHT ALREADY’

Ennoshita: also has Taste. watches pretty much anything and loves to keep track of new productions and new casting. if you ask him about his favorite musical he’ll probably specifically mention the cast and where it was performed

Asahi: y’all are gonna hate me y’all are gonna hate me but JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR haha jk. one hundred percent a Dear Evan Hansen kinda guy because he relates to the main guy’s personality. has waving through a window on repeat

Sugawara: LOVES the classics: Les Miserables, Phantom of the Opera, Miss Saigon. knows every song and movement by heart. sings them everywhere. would not listen to anything else. also Moulin Rouge because he’s one Classy Bitch

Daichi: appreciates any good musical recommended to him but the kind of person who presses ‘shuffle’ when listening to the recording and all the fans around him die inside. does this more than once just for that reaction

Kiyoko: loves anything with awesome female roles, particularly Legally Blonde and Six the Musical. raises an eyebrow at you if you say you like Grease and you land on her list of people she would barely talk to

 Yachi: practically raised on disney movie musicals. loves to watch and re-watch videos from Broadway Princess Party a lot. is basically a disney princess herself and loves to put some songs on when she cleans the house. 

Kuroo: one of those people who got really into Hamilton back in the day. would sing the vocals, the back-up vocals, the chorus parts, and hum the intros. says he’s a musical fan but that’s the only one he’s watched/listened to.

Kenma: someone recommended Be More Chill to him (probably tsukki) and he ended up actually liking it. once in a while you’ll hear him humming ‘christiiiiIIiine’ under his breath. likes to listen to michael in the bathroom at 2 am

Yaku:  hates musicals ever since Nekoma had a movie night and then decided to watch Lion King and lev dead-ass lifted him up over his head like what rafiki did to simba in That Scene. 

Lev: another one who likes disney musicals but like, the basic ones (frozen, tangled, beauty and the beast). mostly because they’re his sister’s favorites tho. has more than once did the whole ‘do you want to build a snowman’ thing with alisa and probably his teammates

Oikawa: thinks that liking Heathers makes him edgy it doesn’t. practically paid hanamaki and matsukawa to sing Candy Store with him and using iwa as veronica. absolutely vibes to the Mean Girls musical

Iwaizumi: a hard High School Musical stan, now and forever. thinks that Ryan and Chad are definitely gay. one time oikawa was giving them a pep talk and said ‘what team?’ and iwa yelled ‘WILDCATS’ and then everybody looked at him because they KNEW they KNEW HE NEVER GOT OVER THAT PHASE-- 

Matsukawa: Cats. The Movie.* wrote a long-ass thread on twitter about why the female cats should be given six boob and tagged Tom Hooper. was blocked.

Hanamaki: *see above. probably had his sexual awakening when he saw Idris Elba as a sexy cat. there’s nothing gendered about a sexy cat

Kyoutani: likes the leather jacket aesthetic in Grease. looked up the lyrics to ‘Greased Lightning’ once and shut off his laptop when he saw the innuendos. may have tried to replicate the choreography at one point but fell off a table

Yahaba: a romantic at heart. has a copy of the West Side Story DvD and loves to sing ‘Maria’ and ‘One Hand, One Heart.’ he and Oikawa love to duet ‘I Feel Pretty.’ also tried to copy the choreography and sUCCEEDED

Ushijima: you’ve taken him to see an array of musicals, from the much-loved classics to the inventive modern musicals. every time, you glance at him hoping for any reaction. he always leaves the theater saying ‘it was good.’ only one musical has managed to make him crack a smile: The Muppets (the movie ver.)

Tendou: another boy with Quality Taste. is a hardcore stan of any musical by Team Starkid (also loves that they’re all on Youtube). makes so many references to them but nobody else understands. will yell ‘TIGERFUCKER TIGERFUCKER’ out of the blue

Shirabu: thinks that La La Land is Peak Taste. got angry when tendou showed him a video of ryan gosling scenes in the movie but it’s all replaced by barry, the bee from Bee Movie. now La La Land is ruined because he keeps on remembering ‘you like jazz?’ in barry’s voice 

Semi: tells you that he just doesn’t watch musicals but he secretly had such a Les Miz phase. writes enjolras x reader fanfics and his longest one was 200k words. if he hears anything that vaguely sounds like ‘do you hear the people sing’, a tear will fall out of the corner of his eye

Goshiki: was looking for slime tutorials one and stumbled on ‘not hamilton just a 2 hr slime tutorial’ y’all kno what i’m talking about and watched the whole thing. was disappointed that there weren’t any slimes but is now into hamilton

Akaashi: knows and understands the peak performance quality and biblical philosophy of Jesus Christ Superstar. doesn’t tell anyone about it though because they all assume its all church music. ‘it’s not’, he sobs. ‘it’s more.’

Bokuto: akaashi recommended Jesus Christ Superstar to him and he watched it, thinking that he’d see jesus playing an electric guitar. he was very disappointed and sulked about it for a week. LOVES disney musicals though

Atsumu: was one of those kids who would look up the Harry Potter Puppet Pals videos on youtube and stumbled in to A Very Potter Musical. ever since jk rowling’s snake side came out he began accepting that fan musical as canon. likes to piss rowling off by posting screenshots of the musical and saying its from the movie

Osamu: the Disney fan but with Quality Taste. loves Hunchback of Notre Dame, Princess and the Frog, Prince of Egypt, and Anastasia (the last two aren’t disney but animated musicals). cries at the sound of Phil Collins’ sultry voice. 

Kita: is in love with Phantom of the Opera because his grandmother loves listening to it. he’d sing THE ENTIRE SOUNDTRACK pretty much every day until his teammates catch him singing in the locker rooms while they were changing AND NAILING ALL OF CHRISTINE’S HIGH NOTES LIKE ITS NOTHING

Terushima: doesn’t like musicals so his friend recommended that he watch The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals by Team Starkid because of the crackhead humor. watched Robert Manion perform and ending up going on google and searching ‘does watching men move their hips real nice make me bi?’

Koganegawa:  y’all are gonna be surprised but this one’s a hardcore Wicked fan. has watched all of the different castings of it. he loves to imitate Elphaba’s iconic ‘FIEEEEROOOOOOO’ line in the showers and records it, just to see if he’s close to how it sounds onstage. has Idina Menzel’s autograph

Futakuchi: bitch does nothing but roast everyone else’s musical tastes. hamilton? ‘wow, mainstream much?’ dear evan hansen? ‘psshh, basic.’ be more chill? ‘think you’re edgy or something?’ the greatest show? ‘what are you? five?’ his favorite musical is actually Cats

Another round of Tedzona “who’s most likely to” games, because its v v fun to read! :))

Who’s most likely to :

1.) unironically celebrate friendship-anniversary while the other had no idea wtf is that?

2.) unknowingly offered the other edibles, gotten high together therefore got in trouble with their spouses (this one is way easy, but i wanted to know your headcanons lol)

3.) convince the other of wearing matching superhero and sidekick matching costume on Halloween (which are which?)

4.) throws the other disastrous bachelorette party

5.) proposes a bet to prank Mark Sloan to tears (and who won???)

6.) cause the other’s broken bone(s)

7.) propose a joint anniversaries between both couples so they could all celebrate together

8.) win on couples game night

9.) order a stripper for the other as a prank

10.) got the other in trouble with Bailey

1.) unironically celebrate friendship-anniversary while the other had no idea wtf is that?

controversial, but teddy

she planned a whole day and had gifts and everything because she was positive that it was a big deal to arizona

like they went out for breakfast and went to the spa and went shopping and all this stuff that arizona had mentioned in passing she wanted to do

and then when teddy revealed that it was their friendiversary arizona was just like... okay...? should i buy you a card tomorrow?

2.) unknowingly offered the other edibles, gotten high together therefore got in trouble with their spouses (this one is way easy, but i wanted to know your headcanons lol)

obviously arizona (who btw was wayyy too chill in 14x20, like she knew what was up)

henry came home to find them hanging upside down on the couch watching like blue clues or something and literally fell over laughing

neither one of them could stop laughing bc as soon as one started giggling the other one started too

arizona got wayyy too detailed about her and callie's sex life, which is when callie walked in

henry offered callie one of the brownies and they all had a good time together and ordered an unholy amount of chicken nuggets

3.) convince the other of wearing matching superhero and sidekick matching costume on Halloween (which are which?)

arizona tried to trick teddy into being her sidekick but teddy was having none of that and so arizona had to go as robin

which teddy thought was the epitome of humour bc robbins? robin? get it? get it? arizona got it and pouted for an hour

callie was a huge fan though bc the robin costume had a very short skirt

4.) throws the other disastrous bachelorette party

i'm not saying they killed a stripper, but teddy's post-insurance fraud divorce, pre-real wedding bachelorette party was a disaster start to finish

it started with jell-o shots, then fireball, then tequila and finished with mysterious blue mixed drinks

teddy remembers about 28 minutes of it; arizona remembers none of it and she was supposed to be in charge

at one point, arizona was so drunk she forgot she was married to callie and bailey had to explain to her that she was and would she please stop crying like a toddler

callie kept getting texts from arizona that were like 7 paragraphs about how much she loved her and she was just like babe i'm right here you can just talk to me??

5.) proposes a bet to prank Mark Sloan to tears (and who won???)

teddy proposed it to try and cheer arizona up

callie won the bet

6.) cause the other’s broken bone(s)

it wasn't entirely teddy's fault, but it also wasn't not teddy's fault

arizona, teddy and sofia were baking cookies and somehow ended up throwing flour around and so they needed to clean up and arizona was standing on the counter and teddy thought it would be funny to spray her with water

arizona freaked out and fell off the counter and broke her ankle

teddy proceeded to put sofia in a baby bjorn and arizona on her back and carry them over to the hospital

7.) propose a joint anniversaries between both couples so they could all celebrate together

arizona, she's practical - they like double dates with teddy and henry and they can split the check

8.) win on couples game night

there are no winner on couples game night, only broken friendships

teddy and callie once nearly got into a fist fight over clue (arizona accidentally cheated but didn't tell anyone which set it into motion)

arizona and teddy actually got into a fist fight over monopoly (they were both stealing money from the bank, as arizona put it "that's just how you play" before teddy lunged at her)

callie and henry are the worst people to play scrabble with because they argue every word

arizona gets way too competitive and starts trash talking to like an alarming extent (same energy as leslie knope in the model un episode)

and so now they just go out to dinner or the movies

9.) order a stripper for the other as a prank

teddy was trying to prank arizona but accidentally sent while the colonel and everyone was there for thanksgiving or something (including teddy - who had spent the whole night trying to ask arizona about it)

it was all very uncomfortable and barbara sent the very nice boy (oh yes teddy sent a male stripper) home with two plates of food

arizona refused to speak to teddy for a whole day because she literally could not look her father in the eye

10.) got the other in trouble with Bailey

they constantly get the other in trouble with bailey

it's like a hobby at this point

they go out of their way to get the other in trouble with bailey

they actually had a bet over it at some point

but bailey found out and ruined it

September Book Roundup, back-to-school edition aka The Season Of Red apparently?

Here is a selection of the books I’ve read this month. Summer is over, so the little bit of brain power I had managed to scrape together is quickly disintegrating, so enjoying the hodge podge of stories.

Binti

This was probably my favourite book that I read this month. It’s a novella I first heard about hear on tumblr and went to find a copy in my library. I have since bought the collected trilogy so I can read book two and three at my leisure because it was honestly just that friggin cool. This is exactly my flavour of scifi and I tend to be very very picky about the scifi I consume. It’s about a girl named Binti, a member of the Himba people (a real group of indigenous people from Namibia). They are a people well known for their mathematical and technical prowess, but due to their strong connection to their homeland and the earth they choose not to travel through space like so many other humans do. However, when Binti secures a position at Oomza University, the greatest university in the galaxy, she chooses to go against her family’s wishes and traditions in order to set out into space to attend. Everything is ruined though when her spaceship is attacked by a hostile alien race and everyone is killed but Binti, who must rely on all her intellect and abilities if she wants any chance at survival.

A seriously cool book with great world building – it really successfully introduces readers not only to the fictional scifi world and races of the novel but also to the culture and traditions of the Himba people. It’s a quick read, and feels like a cross between Dead Space and Tamora Pierce. Would totally recommend a read.

Fake Blood

A Canadian graphic novel. It was a goofy cute read. It’s about an awkward group of friends in middle school, and one boy with a crush on one of the girls in his class. Knowing her love for vampire stories, AJ decides, like any self-respecting middle schooler, to try to pretend he’s a vampire. Naturally nothing goes right and some things go wrong in unexpected ways. It’s funny and cute. Nothing amazing but it was a cozy evening read.

The Last Book On The Left

I’ve been listening to this podcast a lot since my friend recommended it to me and finally decided to read their book. For those that don’t know, The Last Podcast On The Left is a immaculately researched comedy podcast that’s hosted by Ben Kissel, Marcus Parks, and Henry Zebrowski, and explores the darker realms of human nature. Ghosts, paranormal, aliens, cults, and of course serial killers. In this book they collected several of their biggest name serial killer series, did some renewed research, and put together a book that is both informative, irreverent, gross, and very funny, complete with some really amazing illustrations by Tom Neely. A very cool read (and listen, if you decide to check out the podcast instead), I really love how they tell these stories without idolizing or romanticizing the people they talk about. Their humour always makes sure you know exactly how much of a pathetic loser these people are. Fantastic true crime, from someone who has never really felt the need to read about true crime before.

Midnight Sun

I won’t harp on this one, everyone is already going to firmly have their opinions here. I grew up on Twilight, I was reading them as they came out, and I still love them. Were they dumb? Oh my god yes. Did they have problems? Sure, they came out in 2005 it was part and parcel. Were they also a really fun for a thirteen year old to read? Absolutely, I don’t regret it. Sometimes teenage girls should just to get like things without being mocked.

Anyway, I am off my soapbox now (can you tell this is still a raw spot for me?) I unironically loved this book! Getting to see Edward’s perspective was really cool, and since he can read minds it essentially let you get the perspective of everyone else around him too. The Cullens family is a great set of characters so it was really cool to see more of them, and I was very impressed by how Stephenie Meyers took a YA romance she wrote in 2005 and was able to make it feel updated and more appropriate for a 2020 audience even though she couldn’t actually change any of the events themselves. So fans of Twilight, don’t be ashamed, go read Midnight Sun and have the shameless fun you deserve. Is there anymore appropriate book for the bizarre ass year that was 2020 than a return to this goofy nonsense?

The Paperbag Princess

(and Up, Up, Down, and Robert Munsch in general)

I’m back in schools so I’m back to reading children’s book! And honestly, and of you that don’t occasionally sit down and read a kids book out loud don’t know what you’re missing. Anyway, Robert Munsch is a Canadian author, and one of my all-time favourite children’s authors. It surprised me to learn he isn’t as well known in the States apparently? I don’t know if that’s changed or not, but he is a Canadian staple for a good reason, his books have ridiculous premises, are specifically written to be fun to read out loud, and have beautiful, involved, and hilarious illustrations. The Paperbag Princess is one of my absolute favourites, and as a kid it was one of the first stories I had ever read where a princess is the one saving the prince… and then telling the prince to piss off when it turns out he’s a jerk. Up, Up, Down is another favourite I reread this month, because it’s just hilarious funny and makes a fantastic read aloud with kids. Some other Robert Munsch I reread this month include: Mmm, Cookies, More Pies, Ribbon Rescue, Just One Goal, and Andrew’s Loose Tooth. You just cannot go wrong, for kids or adults.

Pit Pony

Another Canadian staple while I was growing up. If you’re a young adult know who went through the Canadian elementary school system, you probably had your entire heart ripped out and stepped on by this chapter book. It’s a historical fiction that looks at the economic hardship, debt slavery, child labour, and animal abuse that was tied to coal mining in the Maritimes. Finding a copy was harder than I would have expected give how pervasive it was a decade or so back, but reading it again was a pure shot of nostalgia.

Seeking Refuge

A graphic novel written by a German-born Canadian about a Jewish girl who flees Nazi-occupied Austria by way of Kindertransport to become a child refuge in England. It follows her as she is moved from host family to host family as the war continues to pick up and gradually makes it’s way to the United Kingdom as well. It’s very poignant and the pencil-sketch illustrations are an interesting change to a lot of the graphic novels that are out right now. This story is still aimed at a younger audience, so it never gets too brutal but it still is a hard hitting story, especially with everything else going on right now.

Silver Spoon #9/10

I know I’ve talked about these books before, but my library got some more since I last read them, so I’m continuing my way through the series. It’s about a teenaged boy who, after having a breakdown from the pressure he was feeling to study and succeeded, decided not to attend an academic, urban high school, but rather to apply for an agricultural high school so he could live in the dorms, far away from his parents. The series just gets more and more heartwarming as it continues. It’s all about failure and overcoming and how worth can be measured in different ways, and about family and understanding each other and coming together… but also about the realities of farming which aren’t always very nice, especially when it comes to finances and survival. It’s written by the mangaka behind Fullmetal Alchemist but I’ll be honest… I think I like this series more. It is honestly one of my all time favourite manga series, it just has so much heart.

Ruby Finds A Worry

aka Ruby’s Worry apparently? I can’t figure out why this has more than one title. I actually read it in French not English, so for me it was Le Souci de Calie. Regardless, this was a nice little picture book for talking about worries and anxieties with children… especially with the amount of Covid stress a lot of kids are dealing with. It explains in a really nice way how talking about anxieties are often the best way to make them more manageable, and how pretending nothing is wrong can just let it grow bigger and bigger. A good explanation for kids and possible a good reminder for adults.

War of the Realms: Journey Into Mystery

I read this because the Mcelroy family wrote it so I figured Hey! Why not give it a go! And I’m glad I did. Their brand of humour was all over it, and it made the story a delight to read. I don’t follow all of Marvel’s weirdness, so I didn’t actually know most of the characters (Miles and Kate were actually the only two I was familiar with) but they do a great job of introducing the characters and making them all feel distinct and interesting. I absolutely adore the Dog of Gods (God of Dogs) who is a very very good boy. And Miles is absolutely always a delight so you can’t really lose. It’s a single book that I think is a part of a larger plotline that I have zero interest in. This book is a fine one to read though if you don’t mind jumping into the middle of the action and just getting swept along for the ride. Also Mcelroys!

Witcher Omnibus

Bleh. Absolutely not worth it. All the misogyny and Dumb Bullshit that I hate in the original books and from video games in general. Honestly, Witcher III did way better by its characters than most of these short stories. The only one worth reading in it is Curse Of Crows – that one was actually really enjoyable, probably because it was about Ciri and had an actual fucking woman on the writing team. (Seriously guys what were you thinking with Fox Children that’s literally just a story from Season of Storms but done worse. Fuck off.) If you like The Witcher, go read Curse of Crows and skip every other story in this book.

Billy Stuart: Les Zintrépides #1

Another French (Quebecois) book I read, though I believe you can get it in English as well (Billy Stuart and the Zintrepids). It’s a chapter book / graphic novel hybrid, and was honestly a fairly fun little read. It’s in a similar vein to Geronimo Stilton but done much better in my opinion. The humour was funnier, the characters felt less like caricatures, and while it still used stylized fonts it was also less intrusive and eye-strainy than the Stilton books. Also when the story suddenly pivots into the main adventure and mystery of the series? Fantastic. Was not expecting a hell-beast to appear part way through the story. Very interested in reading more.

Over all, it was cute and funny, and I can see it being a good next step when children have read their fill of the Stilton series and want something similar but possibly a bit more involved and coherent.

A Rose by any Other Name Would Smell as Sweet

Miserable_toad

Chapter 10: I will wear my heart upon my sleeve

Summary:

You wake up in Severus quarters and can't get your head around last night's events. You find an open ear for your thoughts with Minerva and Remus. In the end, you decide to play open cards.

Notes:

Not much to say about this one. Life sucks some times and I really needed a portion of fluff to cheer me up so I wrote this. Hope you all like it. Sorry about grammar mistakes. Also I realised there's an awful lot of tea drinking in my work. So go ahead and make yourself some tea to set the right mood! Tea's awesome and I mean that unironically.

Comments always appreciated. Thank you SO much for reading this! It means the world to me!

Chapter Text

I woke up on his couch, covered with a green velvet blanket. After a short feeling of disorientation, I remembered where I was and how I got here. It still felt unreal though. Did last night really happen? Did I really fall asleep on him? And he let me just do that without complaint? He held my hand….I looked around: On the table next to me were tea, some scones and croissants on plates as well as a butter knife next to a jar of marmelade. There was also a small roll of parchment put into the empty teacup. I sat up and read:

“Good Morning [y/n]

Unfortunately, I have some important appointments to attend and thus can’t personally talk to you right now. As it is Saturday, I knew you didn’t have any classes to attend, so I reckoned it was fine to let you sleep in. Feel free to have breakfast before you head out.

Best regards,

Severus.”

As short and non-revealing as it could be. The breakfast looked amazing, so I didn’t hesitate to dive in. Meanwhile I looked around at his room and it was now illuminated by the sun coming from the enchanted windows. It was breathtaking and you really had the impression they’d lead outside just like the roof in the Ravenclaw tower. I hope I can be a guest here any time soon again.

I headed out to the teacher’s common room to find anyone to talk to about last night. It’s true, I didn’t have any appointments and it was Saturday. The teacher’s room is usually quite deserted at the weekend but one or two people were almost always around. To my disappointment, Remus wasn’t there but Minerva sat in one of the chairs with her coffee, reading the newspaper. When she saw me, she put it hastily away, stood up and greeted me with a long and tight hug. Petting my arm she said:

“I’m so sorry about yesterday, dear. How are you? Do you have time for a cup of tea in my office? I’d really want to talk to you about what happened in a more private place.”

I took up the invitation and nodded thankfully. We went to the Gryffindor quarters, where she let me inside her office. She offered me some biscuits and a nice and warm Darjeeling tea before saying the following:

“Now that we can’t be interrupted… I just wanted to say I’m sorry. When I told my house about the events, they all seemed to be very shocked. The ones who are in your class assured me they will continue their activity in the drama group. So, you see, they are very committed to you and your class. Never think, we won’t support you. I really can’t imagine anyone in my house holding these antiquated views of the arts but I’m old enough to not be a fool. Just because they are Gryffindors doesn’t mean they are all perfect little angels. I made clear to them that I stand by your side no matter what. If anyone has a problem with this, they are free to discuss it with me and I will make sure they soon know why they’re utterly wrong.” Her tone was sincere and resolute. I was deeply touched to have the support of such a strong and wonderful woman. She might be a bit stubborn at times but gosh, I admired her so much.

I replied: “Thanks Minerva. That really means a lot to me. I feel so much better knowing you all stand by my side. You’ve all been so kind to me last night. I’m not scared anymore.”

“Right you are. I’m sure Remus will help you with any precautious. Don’t you worry.” – she said and tapped my hand. “I have to admit, I’m looking forward to your play. Shakespeare is very entertaining after all and some of my students have been cast in very interesting roles by you.” – she smirked lovingly and took up another biscuit.

“Oh, you won’t be disappointed. The students really want to put up a high-class performance despite having little or no experience. We still need a solid number of rehearsals, but they will give a splendid performance at the end of the year. I’m sure of it.” - I said this with way more confidence than I actually had but hey, we gotta advertise us well.

After finishing her biscuit, Minerva folded her hands on the desk and said with an elevated eyebrow: “Now… do you want to talk about the other thing, too?”

“What other thing?” – I replied.

“You didn’t return to your quarters last night. My owl came back with her message. I was a bit worried at first but then I thought it’ll be alright after I checked in with some of the portraits.”

“Oh...” – ok, how do I get out of this. I wasn’t ready to share my silly feelings to other colleagues than Remus that soon….

Minerva just smiled and tipped my head lightly with one of her fingers: “You don’t need to hide behind the bush, dear. I know you and Professor Snape have spent quite a lot of time together lately.”

I exclaimed: “He just gave me another refill of my sleeping potion”, which was the truth. Though that wasn’t what put me to sleep in the end..

Minerva shook her head: “But that’s not it, isn’t it?” I was a bit of lost for words at that. After some seconds of silence, she continued: “Come on now. We’re grown-ups and you’d be surprised to know how much flirting and seduction is going on within the staff departments. Now, Severus is usually never involved in things like this so it’s certainly something else.” Ok, I need to come back to her at some point to hear her elaborate on that. Swee, sweet gossip. Yet, let’s stick to my thing at first. It’s interesting how everyone I talk to about Severus is basically saying the same thing, so I said: “That’s what everyone is saying actually. That it’s unusual for him to be so friendly with someone.”

She replied: “Because it’s true. You get along well?”

“Yes, we do.”

“Can I be frank?” – she said, while looking sternly into my eyes.

“Of course.”

“Where do you think this is going? What do you feel for him?”

“I…. “and here I swallowed hard. Because vaguely telling it to Remus is fine but openly admitting it to someone new is difficult. I’m also not entirely sure of my concrete feelings, yet. I said: “I don’t know but… I think I’ve definitely fallen for him and would love to connect .. on a deeper level with him.”

“That’s a relief to hear.” – she replied quickly, taking another sip of tea. “Why?” - I asked with a puzzling face. She continued: “Because my dear, he’s head over heels for you.”

Finally, I could get a hold of Remus and we decided to watch the Gryffindor team during their training. It’s convenient because no one takes note of us in the stands. They’re way too focused on their training. The Hufflepuff team also isn’t interested in bullying their next game’s opponents during trainings. So, we were safe in that regard.

“Ok. That’s.. Minerva is very good in reading people and she certainly never holds back putting things bluntly.” – he said while watching some of the students trying to shoot a goal. “I guess we can take her word for it and he does have a sincere interest in you. We also have to take into account, of course, the fact that you were holding hands” -he said in a teasing tone, putting up his hand in a melodramatic gesture.

“Shut up, jerk.” – I pushed him slightly in jest. He continued: “For real, if that’s how a Professor Snape looks like being head over heels in love… that’s kind of disappointing. Though no, now that I think of it, I can’t see him doing lovey dovey talk or flirting with anyone. Still.. do you.... do you want to have a relationship with him? I’m not judging, really! In the end I wished he’d finally found someone to make him chill a bit. He's so goddamn tense.”

“I don’t know.. yes? Like we’ve just spent a couple of months working together, I don’t want to push this too fast. I only know, I want to pursue this further and be closer to him. But what if he just felt sorry for me yesterday. Or maybe he wanted me to calm down so I don’t ruin his couch with my snot or whatever.” – I said and put my head in my hands. UGH the whole thing shouldn’t be so complicated. I feel like a teenager..

Remus sighed and said: “I don’t think he’s the type for that. Once, I saw him give additional homework to a crying and clearly stressed out student without blinking an eye.” – Remus took up a stone and threw over the stands. He has a point, I thought. In the end, he could’ve just ordered me to leave. That reminds me.. “Minerva also told me I shouldn’t let his insecurities destroy anything good in his life again. She fears that he’ll try to get himself in the way of happiness. What do you make of this?”

“I agree. I think many people, me included, are responsible that he truly believes he’s the villain and he just sticked with it. I don’t think that’ll change much even with the prospect of love. I think in its core there is a self-manipulating tendency that comes from a deep feeling of insecurity. It doesn’t mean he can’t change. It also doesn’t mean that he shouldn’t have or deserves a fulfilling relationship. You might have to convince him of that fact though. If it ever gets too… intense.. don’t be a fool. Come to me, talk to me and we make sure you’re safe. Your past doesn’t give you a free ticket to being a dick.”

Bad memories came back to me. Of me being too patient, too naive, too.. compliant, not seeing that a person is abusive, manipulative and cruel. All the thoughts of ‘I don’t deserve any better’ come back to me. Maybe Severus is not the right choice.. what if it becomes similarly… nightmarish? But I can’t stop my heart and so far he didn’t show any red flags. He self-reflects. He apparently wants to change. And I can’t stop thinking about him and wanting to be with him. He has been nothing but kind. Harsh sometimes, but kind and caring. Honest with his flaws. Finally, I said to Remus: “I guess, I should just do the reasonable and grown up thing: be open, see where it goes, and talk to him?”

I returned to my quarters to do some reading in preparation for the upcoming week. Remus assured me he’ll come on Monday to put some new spells on the walls to guarantee protection. It was difficult concentrating though. My mind kept going back to last night’s event. The good and the bad parts of it. I sat on my balcony for a while to order my thoughts. It was a foggy afternoon and you could barely see the woods through the misty clouds. It was so peaceful. I’m surprised about my own calmness, considering that someone broke into my classroom, destroyed it and hasn’t been caught, yet. The overwhelming support here helps. I’m really lucky to be here and not.. in that other place.

I heard my doorbell ring and walked to the door to see who it was. I didn’t expect visitors and I don’t hold office hours on the weekend. Let’s hope that doesn’t mean bad news. Yet, the enchanted mirror next to the door, which serves kinda like a camera, showed me instead a tall, gaunt man in front of my door: Severus. I opened: “Hey” – I said. “Good Afternoon, [y/n].” – he replied. “I’m finished with my appointments today and wanted to tell you that I’ve found a potion that could help securing our classroom. I just checked with Pomfrey and Sprout and we indeed have all the ingredients for it. I think I could brew it until Monday.”

“Oh my God, that’s great!” – I replied. “Ehm.. would you like to come in? You can tell me more about it then. I’m intrigued. Thank you so much. Everyone supports me here, it’s overwhelming.. in a good way.” With that, I went back to my quarters and signalled him to follow me. He took a seat on the couch and I got some biscuits and drinks from the kitchen and put them on the table. After I sat down, he handed me an open book and pointed to the illustration of a potion on it. He explained to me how it works and how it leaves a trace on the perpetrator when he walks through it, which is invisible and can only be lifted by a spell. This spell can be modified during the creation of the potion and thus can only be used by its creator. It’s ingenious really. Complicated to make but I had full trust in Severus, who would surely have no difficulty brewing it.

After we agreed on the details on where and how to use it in my classroom, he told me more of his exchange with the Slytherin house last night. He told me, that some of them didn’t seem to be particularly shocked about the events but these were the students he knew to have a rather negative opinion about theatre. However, knowing that their own headteacher was on my side made them reluctant to give any rude comments. We talked a bit more about the beautiful edition of the potion book he had with him and did some more small talk about literature and the life of a teacher at Hogwarts. It felt so natural to talk to him. It was so easy and made so much fun. I decided it would be a good moment to ask about last night:

“I wanted to thank you again for yesterday. For the kind words and the delicious breakfast. May I ask you something though?”

“Speak your mind. No need for formalities.”

Ok, now comes the hard part. I sighed. “Were you nice to me only because you felt sorry? I mean, I fell asleep on you and you just let me without any complaints and you.. did take my..?”

He interjected suddenly: “I’m not sorry for anything and I certainly don’t feel the need to be friendly to anyone out of pity. I’d argue I didn’t give you any hints that this might be the case”

“But.. I mean, you were right. I was just.. the events of the day came all down on me in that moment. I realised how naïve I was to think that it wouldn’t happen here. I was also sad that I doubted myself so much after something like this. I will fight this. I will go on and hold my composure but it’s still.. difficult, you know? I didn’t have the right to load everything on you.”

“I offered you my ear, so it’s fine. I told you not to apologise for things that have been initiated and consented by me. And yes, it is difficult and it is frustrating. Yet, I’d rather have you here doing your work trying than simply giving in.”

“Thank you…” – I was really touched by this. No, don’t start crying again,don't be too emotional again. I still have questions to ask: “So, holding my hand wasn’t just an empty gesture out of the ‘How to comfort other people’ book?”

He sighed and slightly shook his head: “First of all, I wouldn’t read such a book and I doubt it exists. Second, I don’t need a handbook to know what people want or need to be comforted. I just often choose to ignore it for their sake. Third, I don’t hold hands with anyone as a purely performative gesture.”

“But does that mean you would hold my hand even if I wasn’t crying like a baby?”

“You weren’t crying like a baby. You were almost crying like a baby. But yes, Sherlock your deductive skills led to the right conclusion here: It would indeed ‘mean that’.”

“So………. you’d do it again?” – I asked curiously and looked at him way too happily.

“You’re insufferable do you know that? Are you not capable of asking directly if you want something specific?”

“And are you not capable of replying directly?”

“I don’t feel the need to spell out what is obvious. I don’t reward stupid questions.” - and with this he sighed, shook his head and took my hand again. This time was different. I wasn’t in a mood of despair; I didn’t need someone to get me grounded again. It was purely for pleasure. He looked down at the table but I could recognise the faintest blush on his face. His fingers were closely intertwined with mine. I could hear my heart beating up again and recognised him breathing slightly faster.

“This is nice.” – I said after a while.

“What a thoughtful observation.” - he said.

“Stop ruining the mood, Hamlet.” – and I sat closer to him. Once again, he let go of my hand and put his arm around me. He pulled me close, drawing circles on my shoulders. After some time, he took my other hand into his, looked at me and said quietly:

“You know. I’m not.. I didn’t join your group because I wanted anything of a superior motive. I truly want to support your cause, and these were always my intentions.”

“I know. Don’t worry about it.”

“In addition, I know I’m theoretically a perfect man.” – I rolled my eyes at this. “Yet, I don’t know if I... I’m not the best of keeping close relationships. I’m not the easiest man to be around. I don’t want to fool you.”

“I didn’t think so. It’s fine. To be honest, me neither. But I think we should just communicate, be honest with each other and see where it goes.” – I paused for a bit in thought. “Of course, if that’s what you also want...” Yes, just ruin anything brain. “Have you… had other relationships?”

He played a bit with my fingers and touched my hand softly: “Yes, I’m not a virgin if you mean that. But my former relationships either failed because I was.. frankly, a bit of an asshole, so there are on me. I don’t want to make these mistakes again. Others were nothing serious. My recent ones were more of a.. practical nature than an emotional one. They also have been some time ago, too. I assure you my intentions are not in that direction here. If I ever try again there should be more.”

“Same. My last relationship was very abusive. He didn’t respect me and I was too stupid to realise it sooner. Then I was alone for many years until I came here. Fiction is an escape for me in that regard. Drama, too. I thought when I leave my last working place, my home, my town.. I’d escape it all. In addition, I kind of gave up on love and dating and stuff.” – I sighed, realising I was sitting here with arms around me, holding hands with a man, which can definitely be identified as ‘love, dating’ and stuff’. The irony. I chuckled to myself.

“What’s so amusing?” – he asked.

“Well, guess at the moment I’m not really behaving like I might have given up on love.”

“I know that feeling.” – he said quietly and turned his head to my side. I could feel his breath on my hair and I wondered if he wanted to kiss me right now. Because damn I’d love to do that. For now though, this was perfect.

My 10 Favorite WWE Matches of All Time (updated)

10: The 2001 Royal Rumble No matter how daft and stupid the product gets, I will never not stoke my head in around January. The Royal Rumble is my favorite match, but this one is my favorite favorite instance of that match. The pacing, the beautiful endurance of Kane, the hardcore interval (which Kane just decides to destroy), the Big Show returning after 4 months just to get shit-canned a minute into his run. There is so much to love about this mess. The preview of Rock and Austin that year for their Wrestlemania showdown. The fact that 4 or 5 of them (Rock, Austin, Kane, Undertaker, even Rikishi) could have been main event contenders. The best midcard in WWE history. Scotty 2 Hotty having the worst night of his life. Drew Carey just showing up. Bradshaw just cliffing everyone, because he's gotta get his shit in. Good Rumbles are like a 3 course meal, and this one is like all your courses at once, and then dessert is a treat you could die on. 9. Tyler Bate vs. WALTER - Takeover Cardiff Crowds make a lot of matches for me (thanks, 2020) but this crowd is especially electric, and for 24-year-old Tyler Bate, who is taking on a TANK, and that tank's name is WALTER, a TANK. But I will never not be a sucker for a David vs. Goliath story, and it was never better told than the boy made of thighs vs. the destroyer made of shattering palms. It is SO CARNY, so many feats of strength, so many OOOOOFS AND UUUUUURGHS that make this so great. Tyler was a hero on this night, but everyone knew he wasn't ready to win. Every feat is a magnificent reach. And it all means something to everyone. Make them what they know SHOULD happen and still surprise them with it. His "refusing to quit!" only to get shut down by a fucking chop. HE STANDS but is immediately ruined. It makes me. This shit fucking makes me. 8. Sasha Banks vs. Bayley, 30-Minute Iron Woman Match - Takeover Respect Most of this is just a remix of their epic and warranted classic in Brooklyn. but then Sasha takes the headband off of Izzy. And then they both stepped it up and were *amazing*. We somehow lost Bayley's "RAAAAAH'S and that's sad for me. But then they RAMP IT UP. NOBODY LIKES YOU. FUCK YOU. WE'RE HAPPIER NOW. (WE'RE NOT.) But seriously, Sasha taking Izzy's headband and then THROWING IT AT HER started something special, something grand. THE OUTRAGE. The bastion of heel heat. And then the match got better. They hugged at the end of their encounter in Brooklyn, but then they started poisoning one another. And it all started with this amazing match. (Also, Bayley's amazing red and gold robot tights.) 7. Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels, Wrestlemania 21 Listen. HBK's 'Mania outings with the Undertaker are solid "match of the decade" contenders, piss-easy. They are peerless, they are in a league of their own. But saying they're your favorite? Unless you are an actual wrestler, that's like saying "UH, MY FAVE BAND IS THE BEATLES." Ya boring, ya basic, and we can all do better. And seeing how I'm in my late 30s, I understand wrestling a little different than I did when I made this list in...2016??? Christ. I bet AJ Styles vs. John Cena was on it that year. Two of the best performers, both in their prime, and looking back on it, I just prefer the mix of character dynamics at play. Angle is easily one of the best in the world, but he has such an inferiority complex, because he's an Olympic gold medalist who is told *nightly* that he sucks, and he CAN'T best Michaels. He keeps coming back, and he's so charming, so effortlessly good at this whole "wrestling" thing, and it's slowly making Angle, who SHOULD be all of those things, absolutely *spare.* And that informs so many spots and story moments in the match itself, specifically when Angle LOSES it and starts shouting at him, only to have a superkick partied under his face. Angle is one of the best ever because his wrestling acumen served his character, never once defined it. 6. Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon, Wrestlemania 17 I haven't gone back to watch the whole of Vince vs. Shane THAT many times. What I have done is watch the finish about 65 times. There is something so addictive and magical about that one pop, when Linda stands up from her chair, and the ENTIRE crowd stands with her. And I'll 100% agree that Vince's comeuppance - one slap, one hoof to the balls, a Mandible Claw and a Coast-To-Coast dropkick - is not NEAR the actual comeuppance he should have gotten for some of the deplorable shit his character got up to from around the Rumble to this match (two of which they've done their very best to scrub from history, they're THAT bad.) But it's the purest example I can think of, of that pantomime aspect of wrestling. Vince McMahon is a deranged bastard. He likes dumb, cruel, crude things, but his commitment to being the world's 2nd-worst lizard man makes some of the stuff that happens to him more richly rewarding than almost any retribution in any medium, ever. The final 4 minutes of that match, the crowd is a fireworks display. They rise, they explode, they rise and explode, over and over. And again, shoutout to my boy 2020 for making me miss a crowd THAT big having THAT good a time. 5. Adam Cole vs. Johnny Gargano - 2 out of 3 falls - TakeOver New York Now look, I'm not saying that NXT is essentially perfect for me, in terms for what I look for in wrestling. What I will say is that when it cooks, it combines the very best of indie stamina, choreography and stunt work with something WWE sometimes gets VERY right, and that is unabashed, unironic emotion. And it's not even that the intimacy of NXT being a smaller promotion has a denser, more specifically passionate fanbase. It's just the fact that NXT understands that so often, nuance and drama in wrestling doesn't come from promos, or swerves, or endless escalations of said drama, but from getting the FUCK out of the way and letting two of the best in the world *wrestle.* NXT is so good for providing context for the acts of jealousy, pride and entitlement, and then laying out a match that touches on all of these emotions throughout. This main event, built in two weeks, after a terribly-timed Ciampa injury, is actually VERRRY clever booking...disguised to look really simple. Cole starts the match as the crowd favorite, because he's the cool tweener everyone likes (with a catchphrase) to Gargano's unironic Disney prince. Over the course of Cole going all out, making subtle references to Johnny's feud with Ciampa, Gargano fighting from underneath, total fuck-off bastardry from the Undisputed Era (making poor Mauro Ranallo yell "YOU SNAKES!!") Maybe Cole WAS the better choice, but by the end of it, you didn't care. On that night, Johnny refused to lose, and the constant, exciting, *involving* wrestling dragged you to that emotional place. Damn right, you deserve it. 4. CM Punk vs. John Cena, Money In the Bank 2011 It might be a simple choice, but also, sometimes, it's really really gratifying to see a crowd who wants something get what they fucking want for once. A hot crowd makes a good match great, and a great match THIS. A crowd united, either for one guy, and against another, and in this case, BOTH. It makes every. Move. Matter. Trying to find a new angle on this match is like trying to find a new way to say fire is warm. And this crowd created a CAUSE. The no-sold pinfall, the attempted rehash of the Screwjob. Point out the botches if you must. The angle, the promo...it got my friends back into wrestling, a reason to care until the Shield. It's not the best, but it deserves to be. There is no wrestling crowd I wish I was more a part of. And I was at King of the Ring 1998. 3. Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar, 60-Minute Iron Man match, Smackdown of September 18, 2003 It MAYBE was a bit of a "hipster" choice to name this my number 1 in 2016. But you know what? Bloody holds up. Two performers who feel "destined to do this forever," like a Triple H/Shawn Michaels, or a Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn. Possessed of freakish physical charisma, could go for days if pressed. Brock Lesnar, literally at the time ONE OF THE BEST ATHLETES in the WORLD being a lazy fucker and taking DQ points, laying the foundation of what Brock Lesnar would come to be known as. And Angle, in that rare position of everyone knowing he's the best thing going. Brilliant Lazy Asshole Brock and Certified Wrestling Machine Angle are two of my unironic favorite characters in all of wrestling, and it's a buffet of THAT. Like a Royal Rumble, only it's just two dudes, being the best they've ever been. 2. DIY vs. the Revival - 2 out of 3 falls - TakeOver Toronto "Tag team wrestling?" says main roster WWE. "What is this...tag team wrestling?" Well, this is it, at its absolute best. It's up there with Rey Mysterio and Edge vs. Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle from No Mercy 2002 for just brilliant, rock-solid tag team psychology. There are more story opportunities when there are more rules to break, how can WWE *not get behind that?* In terms of chemistry, both between opponents and between teams, in terms of callbacks like Johnny muscling through the exact same inverted figure four that lost them the belts in Brooklyn. It is a perfect match. Not an ounce of fat on it. And that closing sequence, of each member of DIY locking the Revival in their signature holds, and the men now known as FTR clinging to one another. It's probably the best tag match in the history of the WWE, and considering the caliber of tag matches on TakeOvers, is FUCKING saying something. 1. Daniel Bryan vs. Brock Lesnar, Survivor Series 2018 This match is everything I always hoped for. For the longest time, after the 2015 Royal Rumble debacle, when Reigns won, when simply everything we knew about storytelling said "no, of course it should be Bryan," I wondered what that 'Mania match would look like. If it were anything like this, I would have died a happy man. But then again, what makes this match so GOOD is that Bryan had just come back from an early retirement caused by head and neck surgery, and here he is, being dropped on his head and neck by Brock Fucking Lesnar, aka what would happen if the concept of "not giving a shit" gained corporeal form and starting shilling for Jimmy John's. The match gets really ugly, really fast, and Bryan takes us to uncomfortable places with his selling. It wasn't just the retirement angle, it was also the fact that Brock had turned out some REALLY lazy shit by that point in his career, so we had all mentally prepared for another finish-spamming early night. And then. AND THEN... Bryan hoofs him in the walnuts, hits the running knee, gives us the absolute closest 2-count of the decade, and then the fight is fucking on. Bryan went, over the course of 2 minutes, from never having a chance against Brock Lesnar to it being an *absolute certainty* that he was going to BEAT BROCK LESNAR. Anytime you visibly leave your seat every few seconds during a match, you know it's a special one. Again, it took me away, had me absolutely *screaming* at my monitor, elated, invested, and I don't know what more your favorite match can ask of you. But what happens when your favorite match isn't a match at all? No. 0: The Firefly Funhouse - Wrestlemania 36 I'm not kidding, it actually might be my favorite thing. It could be just my brain latching onto the Cult of the New, but I don't think so. It's not a match, I get it. It exists in a weird null-void outside of time and space, but mostly I am floored that they would broadcast something so virulently anti-WWE. Like, we talk of CM Punk and how WWE let him get away with all his little jokes and cut his little Pipebomb promo. But then WWE signed off on Bray Wyatt tearing the soul out of their business. Burying the biggest star of this generation, skewering and laying bare all of terrible WWE's terrible priorities, and also celebrating insider knowledge, wrestling history, and I just...love it. Right now, it's my favorite thing WWE have ever put out, because it did something they've never done before, told a story I didn't think they were capable of telling. And sure, it was Bray who told it, but I still can't believe it aired. But I am endlessly thankful that it did.